#scuse me while i go crying

[stcrforged]

@fadedpath asked ❝ call me sentimental, but i worry about you. ❞ ( from zaahyr to dorian )

" amatus. " it was rare, to see a such great sadness resting in those deceiving silver eyes. it was as if a sea storm roamed inside him, his very soul. cold waves crashing against the hard rocks. the air howling. SCREAMING. one step was taken forward and a hand suddenly and softly touched the elf's cheek. free fingers searched for the other's, lacing them together. a gesture of comfort. of SOLACE. it had not been his intention to make his love worry about him. maker! zaahyr had been thorugh enough. the man had the WHOLE world on his shoulders. the quests and the burdens never ceast to exist. there was always more. it broke the mage's heart to see him worried. had it been a MISTAKE to fall in love? what if he wast just another burden to carry on already heavy shoulders? there was so much at stake.

lips pressed against hand, placing a GENTLE kiss on knuckles. emotions was not an easy conversation topic for dorian. he had been raised in a land full of crawling and venomous snakes. one mistake and it might lead to your death (revealing one's true feelings was always a mistake in tevinter). his heart was at a CROSSROAD. should he tell his other half what troubled him or should he simply say that there was nothing to worry about? it was tearing him apart. inside and out. a heavy sigh echoed between the walls. " i suppose you only will pester me until i speak the truth. " the corner of the mouth was raised, but it didn't reach the orbs of iron. the facade was CRACKING. it came rumbling down like an avalanche. " sometimes i worry that i, or rather, that this love, is only a mere burden for you. weighing you down. slowing you down. " the otherwise silky voice became hoarse and a small salty tear fell quietly to the floor. the sea storm was about to break free.

LOST MEME / accepting

[ladykissingfish]

*Hidan suddenly wakes up in a hot, dark place. His body isn't just a head anymore, he's fully intact* Hidan: What in the -- wait, did I die? Hidan: Jashin-sama, you lied to me! You promised me that if I made sacrifices and devoted myself to you, I'd live forever! What kind of shit is this?! I -- Kakuzu, from next to him: Would you have preferred to stay in that dirt-filled hole for all of eternity? Hidan: K-kakuzu? Is that you? Kakuzu: In the flesh. Well, relatively speaking, that is. Hidan: Are you dead too? Kakuzu: Yeah. The damn Kakashi of the sharingan took out my hearts. ALL of them. Hidan: It's so hot ... are we in hell? Kakuzu: Did you honestly believe we were going to heaven? Either of us? Hidan, sighing: No. It's just ... Kakuzu: It's been worse for me, I've been down here waiting for you until right now. I thought your stubborn ass would never die. Hidan: H-how long have you been dead? Kakuzu: Time seems to work differently here, but, I estimate that I died about 200 years ago, and you just got here, so ... Hidan: I lasted in that hole for 200 years?! Damn. Ah, I was so young, I could have -- *Kakuzu suddenly hugs Hidan to him, hard* Kakuzu, softly: I missed you so much, brat. We were together in our last life, and I want to continue to be together in this. Okay? Hidan, trying to hide his tears: O-okay, old bastard. I missed you too. Hidan: Hey, hell or not ... if you get to be with me forever, then it's really kind of like heaven, isn't it? Kakuzu: I'd agree to that ... IF we were entirely alone. Hidan: What do you -- *in the background, Hidan can hear the sounds of Deidara screaming obscenities at Tobi, Sasori scolding Deidara, and Kisame and Itachi having an argument* Hidan: Hidan: My mistake, we ARE in hell.

[daysofyellowroses]

Hiii!! I have another request for you if it’s okay!!🤭🤭

Can I please request a Carmy x fem!reader where she’s Carmy’s wife, and she is walking to The Bear to join her hubby and his staff for Family because she just got off work (maybe she works at a bookstore coffeeshop nearby- This is 100% self indulgent lmao). Carmy has definitely told her many times that he does not want her walking by herself (not in a controlling way, but in a “Chicago is not safer especially for women that are by themselves” way), but Y/n knows how busy her hubby is with the opening of the Bear and doesn’t want to stress him out🥺 On her way there, a group of men start harassing Carmy’s wife, and luckily Carmy was outside on a smoke break and heard the commotion. He intervenes and tells them to F off, and they yell at Y/n to “Make her guard dog back down” and other comments towards her, and Carmen goes absolutely BALLISTIC, 10000% protective husband Carmy🫣

well first of all we clearly have the same dream because dear lord in my perfect universe i own/work in a bookstore coffeeshop like..please 🙏🏻 and protective husband carmy is everything, i love it 😭🥹 will absolutely cry writing this but in the best way 🫶🏻💗🌼

[seumyo]

HAI EUMY :))

HI CRYS !! WHAT’S UP 😯 HOW ARE YOU LUV ??

[wield-the-mighty-pen]

your trademark is being incredibly kind and writing gorgeous descriptions....

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

AHHHHHH, thank you!!!

Truthfully, it's really easy to be kind in such a talented and passionate fandom like ml, and with fandom creators like yourself, it's impossible not to gush 💕💜🩷💗🥰💖❤️

Also, thank you so much for the complement 🥺, one of my favorite parts of writing is getting to put in descriptions, so it means a lot that you like them 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

please excuse my emoji spamming, I am quite possibly the only person in my generation that doesn't understand how to use emojis

[vyrantium]

........oh ambrosia finding a little redheaded girl who's all on her own is. definitely. oh i am feeling so much

[everlastiingiimmortals]

traincarsandstars (I'm so sorry yingyue ^^;))

"You needn't fill this out, milady." Despite that, the rare smile on her face was big. "You're already my most favorite person in the whole world."

[agayconcept]

.

[gracegrove]

Excuse me but Sanji's origin story has really got me fucked up.

[hannie-dul-set]

HOME FOR THE BITCHLESS [6].

SYNOPSIS. wherein your friend offers a room for you to crash in while your dorm is being renovated, but fails to mention that your new housemates don’t know how to talk to women (oh, and they also have an ongoing bet about you, too).

PAIRINGS. choi soobin, choi beomgyu, lee heeseung, park jongseong, sim jaeyun, park sunghoon x female! reader. GENRE. housemates! au, rom-com, sitcom, reverse harem time baby. WARNINGS. almost drowning, a nauseating amount of stupidity, swearing, sex jokes, bribery, the boys are shirtless for most of the chapter. WORD COUNT. 5.2k.

TAGLIST. @cerealdreamwriter @tyongff-ff @dinonuguaegi @certifiedmoa @blueberrgyuu0 @primantha @blu3bell4 @nunugget @hoshi-is-ult-bbg @captivq @tocupid @seosalad @ddazed-lhs @gyuszie @mifuyuyo @error-cant-function @twocupsofsuga @flowerbe0m @dangerousconnoisseurbanana @laviesm @keikeu @elavin @chaemmie @rikisly @satsuri3su @gyugyubin @junhuicosmo @skzenhalove @luvkpopp @yansbolobao @emer-syn @eggomi @drunkinjake @soobiverse @deobitifull @haechanspudu @yawnzzn27 @7myoi @toothfa-1-ry @imsiriuslyreal @maimoirs @whippedforbeomgyu

NOTE. this is my favorite chapter so far i think i peaked here. the ppt scene was inspired by anthpo, my professors' tendency to use the socratic method to instill trauma in their students, and hoshi from seventeen's tiger agenda. also, most of this was written before i found out odi has passed 😔 fly high little guy.

MASTERLIST | NEXT >

CHAPTER 6 — the obligatory pool episode.

THERE’S A HEATWAVE IN TOWN. When you wake up, it feels like you got transported into Satan’s rectum. It’s sweaty and disgusting under your covers, and kicking them off does nothing to appease the hellish humidity inside your room. But when you roll over to grab the remote for the air conditioning, blindly press on the button, nothing happens.

You try again.

It’s not working.

You jolt up from your bed, hair a mess, and armpits too sweaty for comfort. A power outage. Of course, there’d be no power on the hottest day of the year.

“Fucking shit, I’m so hot,” you announce as you make your arrival downstairs. It’s only Sunghoon and Jay in the living room. They turn away from their game of jenga upon your arrival.

“Yeah, you’re super hot,” says Jay. “I mean, damn global warming sure sucks, huh?”

The wooden tower collapses. You stifle out a grunt of agreement. “Apparently some feeders in the neighborhood broke down,” Sunghoon informs you. “They’re still fixing it. The generator also wasn’t working when Heeseung hyung went down the basement to turn it on. I think we need to get that fixed too.”

Well, shit. That’s not good news. You give Sunghoon a pat on the head for speaking thirty-six words to you today before walking over to the kitchen. Last time you checked, there was a stash of popsicles in there. You’re pretty sure they haven’t been completely water-fied by the blackout yet.

For some reason, upon nearing the kitchen island, the fridge door is hanging open. You understand why when you step on something— er, someone— on the way towards your frozen delight. “Ow!” Beomgyu hisses from the floor. There’s remnants of cold wind filtering out from the refrigerator. Beomgyu has claimed it as his territory, and he’s glaring up at you from his spot. “Watch where you’re going.”

“‘Scuse me.”

You walk over him, hiking one leg across his torso before infringing upon his fridge monopoly to grab a half-melted melon bar. This isn’t exactly how Beomgyu imagined how it’d be like to be in between your legs. “I’m not sure if you’re dense or if you just don’t give a fuck,” he says, propping himself up by the elbows as you dig through a plastic bag.

“I really just don’t don’t give a fuck.” You snap a bite out of the pale green popsicle. “Want one?”

“Give.”

“Go get one yourself.”

“Fuck you.”

“I’m sure you’d love to.” You close the fridge door shut and make sure to kick his side with your foot when you cross over him again. He lets out a cry of pain. You turn back, satisfied with your cold exploits, but there is no wall separating the living room and the kitchen, so Sunghoon and Jay were witnesses to that entire conversation. “Do you also want a bite?” you ask. Their ears burn a couple degrees brighter before declining.

Was that an intentional insinuation? Yes. Do you enjoy destroying their composure on purpose? Also yes. It’s a new hobby you picked up since staying here, and it’s definitely one you’ll miss once your dorms get fixed and you’d have to move out. Jay and Jake are both particularly difficult to get through, but sometimes you can manage to fluster the former, just like now. Jake has been impossible so far. You’ll get him one day. He can’t be left unscathed.

This may seem terrible, and sometimes you do get a teensy bit conscientious when one of them starts crying or becomes temporarily incapacitated— until you remember they have this whole secret bet going on that definitely involves you, so you should be allowed to fuck around this much, right?

“Hey! Why don’t we have a pool party?”

The genius idea comes from Jake. You immediately run up back to your room upon hearing the suggestion to change into a bathing suit, pausing right before your door because you don’t want anyone waving the PD&J at your face for indecent attire again. So you throw on a beach kimono for the safety of your wallet. They emptied the jar out yesterday to buy some meat for a barbecue party that’s supposed to be scheduled this weekend, but looks like you’re gonna be having that sweet, sweet pork belly tonight right by the chlorine scent of the pool. 

You hurry downstairs, so fucking ready to be submerged in cool, refreshing water. But when you get to the courtyard— all the boys already loitering in and around the pool— you realize something. 

Something a little dangerous.

“You’re finally here!”

Oh no. They’re hot.

“We’re playing chicken fight, come jo—”

A rather scantily clad Sunghoon pushes an equally scantily clad Jake off Soobin’s unclothed shoulders and into the splash of the water. They are all bare-skinned, glistening wet, and although it’s not a bad sight to behold at all, it’s a discovery that you wish had remained undiscovered until you finally leave this damned house.

Listen. It’s not like you’ve never seen any of them shirtless or almost naked before. Jay was literally in his highlighter underwear when you first met him. But you were never put in a situation where you’re able to look at them closely because all those times have been meshed with something stupid.

It’s very easy to overlook their general attractiveness when they all act like third-graders, bitchless losers, scandalized Victorian men, or all of the above at the same time, in the same sequence. It’s really easy to forget that.

But Heeseung has his soaked tank top sticking to his skin and Beomgyu is pushing his wet hair back with a wide grin. Your housemates might actually be a tad bit more attractive than your prolonged, initial impression of them. This can cause a little internal trouble.

“Why aren’t you getting in the water?”

Soobin is the one that’s asking, having already left the water fight in the middle and is now looking up at you, chest deep near the pool’s edge. You look down. You’re not sure if he’s looking directly at you because you’re a little focused on his toned arms resting above the ledge, but if he is, then good on him for keeping up with his eye-contact practice hours.

“Hey,” you call out, crouching down and hugging your knees. “Do you work out?”

Silence. Pink scatters across Soobin’s cheeks. He coughs out an unintelligible response and disappears back under the water, quietly swimming away. Yes. This is how it should be.

Feeling a lot more at ease after confirming you still have the upper hand, you finally dip your legs into the pool and stretch out your back with a satisfied groan. Fuck, this is perfect. You’re honestly unsure how you’re supposed to transition back into life at the dorms when this house has a perfectly refreshing pool at your disposal. You don’t remember what life was like before this. You’d live here for the rest of your life if you could. But you have enough pride in your system to prevent you from extending your verbal contract with Jake. Two months. It’s a few days past the halfway point now. All you could do is enjoy this life of comfort as much as you can.

Until it gets ripped away from you in the form of Jake yanking your ankle and dragging you under the water with a horrifying splash. 

Before you know it, you’re gasping for air and grabbing the nearest thing your arms could reach out for so you don’t fucking drown— but when you finally manage to rise back to the surface, a loud inhale of air into your lungs, the person you managed to hold onto just happens to be Heeseung.

Heeseung, who’s looking down at you with wide, alarmed eyes while you’re wrapped around his waist. Heeseung, who shoves you back into the water out of panic and shock and whatever the fuck his problem is.

Jake rushes to pull you back up. Heeseung is dead to you.

“I’m sorry.”

He failed to kill you so he’s now down on his knees, timid palms on his lap, and head lowered in guilt.

“I am very sorry,” Heeseung repeats. “I am deeply reflecting on my actions.”

You’re sitting on the half log shaped chairs on the courtyard, still wet, arms and legs both crossed in petulance as Sunghoon quietly dries your hair with a towel from behind (no, you didn’t scare him into doing this). 

“Stand up.” He flinches at the tone of your voice. “Go get yourself dried up so we can finally start the barbecue.”

He’s awfully obedient. You watch as his slumped figure trudges back into the house. “Was that too much?” The back of your head hits Sunghoon’s bare stomach when you try to look at him. He’s holding your head in his hands with the damp towel in between.

“You’re always a little much,” he mumbles.

“Is that a bad or good thing?”

Sunghoon ponders for a moment, staring at your upside down face. “More is always better than less?”

You smile, snatching the towel from his hands and jumping off from your seat. “Good answer.” Two gentle pats of praise on his cheek set his skin on fire. Speaking of fire, you can already smell the scent of smoke and deliciously cooking meat wafting in the air, so you run over to Jay who’s on grilling duty, hoping to get an early bite.

“Can you pass me a plate?” he asks, flipping the cut up pieces of meat on the barbecue grill. “Thanks.”

“Gimme one.” You open your mouth, chasing after the slice of pork belly on his tongs until he brings it closer to your mouth for you to bite. “Holy shit,” you muffle out, hot air escaping from your lips.

“Good?” he asks.

“Very good.” You swallow the piece. “One more?”

He lets you snack on a bunch of well-done beef before they could reach the plate and at some point he mentions, as you’re tearing open a few packs of ramyeon to cook, that you look a lot like the curled up pieces of shrimp he’s currently grilling. You narrow your eyes at him, hand dangerously hovering above boiling water with a square of raw noodles. “Are you trying to say I look charred and have a terrible posture?”

“No.” Jay raises a piece of shrimp in the air, showing it off to you. “Doesn’t it look cute?”

Now that you’re looking at it a little closer, it does look kind of cute. Huh. “Would you eat me if I was a grilled shrimp?”

Jay thinks about it. He keeps thinking until you start smelling something burning. “I’d keep you safe in my pantry,” he finally answers. 

“So you’ll just let me spoil over and die?”

His expression drops. “Fuck.” The shrimp is unsalvageable. “I guess I’d have to eat you.”

The rest of dinner goes on as you expect. Jay and Beomgyu take turns over the grill until Jake thought he’d be naturally gifted over the fire and ended up making charcoal with the last pack of galbi (“It’s fine!” he said. “I’ll take care of it!”) and today’s heatwave suddenly becomes a whole lot hotter with the rising flame on the fucking grill right when Soobin brings out the marshmallows for dessert. It gets quickly defused by a fire-hydrant bearing Heeseung. Now your charcoal galbi has toxic frosting on them. This is the sign to move on to the next part of the program.

The set of log-themed chairs on the courtyard has a bonfire set-up at the center. Of course this unreasonably nice house has that. It’s already getting dark, ink seeping into the orange tintent sky. Jake decides to redeem himself after watching Heeseung fail to set up the chunks of wood for the nth time. “You don’t know how to start a fire? Dude, that’s so lame.” 

“You burnt all our remaining meat with those fire starting skills of yours,” Heeseung huffs, stepping aside for the self-proclaimed camping expert.

“You still ate them.” You’re pretty sure that isn’t healthy.

“Because you would’ve felt sad if I didn’t.”

“You’re both equally lame,” Beomgyu chides, plopping down beside you with a bag of chips that you unceremoniously dig your hand into. “You two haven’t even had your solo chapters yet.”

A flame erupts on the bonfire. Both of them turn to look at Beomgyu. “What?”

“What are we arguing about?” Jay joins in, looking a little too excited for the squabble.

“About the fact that I’m cooler than both Heeseung and Jake.”

Heeseung’s expression falls flat. “You dropped out to become a streamer.”

“Leave of absence! I took a leave of absence and I’m coming back next year!”

Sunghoon and Soobin are both just ignoring the mess, roasting their skewered marshmallows on the bonfire and you aspire to be that level of unbothered. “Let’s consult a professional’s opinion,” Jay suggests, and all their eyes immediately fall on you. “Who do you think is the coolest?” Apparently that professional is you.

“This is like asking which dwarf is the tallest midget,” you wrinkle your nose. “But alright. Why don’t we settle this like real men?”

“Arm wrestling?” Sunghoon jumps in.

“Cooking contest?” Heeseung pitches.

“Do you want us to beat the shit out of each other right now?” Jake’s eyes fly wide open, alarmed. “I don’t think that’s a healthy way of settling arguments.”

“The fuck? No,” you spit out. “Thirty minutes. Prepare a powerpoint presentation explaining why you’re the coolest loser. Convince me. Ten slides max. Good luck.”

Something about almost naked men scattered around your home premises, aggressively typing on their keyboards with so much concentration and determination is so funny. You’re enjoying the raw bag of marshmallows by yourself beside the fire, watching as Heeseung starts panicking when you yell out “Five minutes left!” and starts typing even more aggressively. It’s pretty entertaining. Why haven’t you done this before?

At some point Jake brings out a projector and a projector screen to the courtyard. Seems like the power is back on, and your classroom of death has been set in place.

“Okay. Who wants to go first?”

You’ve produced a clipboard while they were working very hard on the PPTs earlier, legs crossed, fire crackling in front of you, and you click the butt of your pen in intermittent seconds as you scroll your eyes from left to right across the six boys standing in front of you. Heeseung looks confident. Jay and Beomgyu, too. There’s sweat dripping down Sunghoon’s forehead and Jake is furiously flipping through his notepad like he’s cramming for a final exam. But the poor, unfortunate soul that just had to look away from your gaze is none other than—

“Choi Soobin.” He flinches, nearly letting go of the laptop he has clutched against his chest. “Give it a go. The rest of you sit down.”

He looks rattled. “I’m not— I’m not really good at presentations,” Soobin chokes out, and the rest disappear from his side.

You let your chin rest on your knuckles, leaning forward. “Are you forfeiting? Is this a forfeit I’m hearing?” He doesn’t respond. You sigh. “Choi Soobin, are you settling with a D? A tiny, miniscule, measly D?” Beomgyu lets out a snort. You shoot him a sharp stare. “The other Choi, please shut the fuck up unless you want me docking points from you. Choi number one, please start your presentation.

Beomgyu straightens in his seat and Soobin hesitantly clears his throat, turning towards the blank, white projector screen as he holds the clicker with a visibly shaky hand. “Good— good evening,” he starts. “My name is Choi Soobin, and today I was tasked to explain why I am the coolest housemate out of the six. The answer is I am not. I’m not very cool. But—”

When he clicks to the next slide, your clipboard clatters on the ground.

“But I do have a hedgehog, and that’s kinda cool?”

“Holy shit,” you exhale a breathy squeak, the picture of the rodent’s cute little snout occupying half of the large screen. Soobin cycles through a bunch of photos of his hedgehog and the various screams of delight you’re eliciting after each photo makes him smile a little bit more. “Look at that little guy! Oh my god. What’s his name? Where is he? Can I meet him? Please let me meet him, Soobin I am begging you, I will get on my knees for you.”

“His name is Odi and he’s currently living at my parents’ house,” he explains. “I’ll invite you sometime.”

“That’s cheating! This isn’t part of the guidelines!” Jake interrupts, pointing an accusatory finger at the photo of Soobin holding Odi in his hands. Your coos are unceasing.

Heeseung nods along. “Professor, I believe this is completely unrelated to our topic at hand.”

Soobin looks visibly offended. You straighten your expression and click your tongue. “Ahem,” you start. “As much as I believe that Odi is the darn cutest little shit to ever exist and I will die for him given the chance, Heeseung is right. Mr. Choi, I’m afraid I’d have to give you a C.”

He presses the clicker. The slide is back to the video of Odi running down a slide.

“Okay. B minus.”

Now it’s the one where he’s laying stomach-up on the floor.

“Fuck. God dammit. B plus and that’s it. Soobin, sit down. Heeseung, you’re up next.”

Soobin seems satisfied with the grade, dimples popping out with a smile as he takes Heeseung’s seat in the audience when the latter readies himself for his turn. He stifles out a cough-laugh, one corner of his mouth crookedly twitching upward, confidently sauntering up to the front with his iPad, and it’s mildly unsettling because he’s usually Nervous Boy #2. But it’s almost cheating how pretty his teeth are when he’s smiling. 

And apparently he’s aware of that fact. Because after projecting his title slide (LEE HEESEUNG 101: the anatomy of a Cool Guy™), the next thing that appears is actually a photo of his very charming smile, coupled with Chip Skylark’s “My Shiny Teeth and Me” as the background music for his scientifically-grounded explanation. The next slide is a zoom in of his eyes next to a photo of Bambi. He has a venn diagram. This is actually pretty compelling.

Heeseung is a good speaker. He’s really good. The rest of his presentation goes smoothly, finishing it up with a list of references in APA format. Jake and Jay give him a round of applause.  “If you have any questions, I’ll be more than happy to answer them,” he smiles.

“That was a fantastic presentation, Mr. Lee. I particularly liked the part when you demonstrated your ability to make very impressive, but also very alarming sounds with your fingers.” You flip through your very blank clipboard, nodding and throwing out hums at the times you deem appropriate. “I’d give you an A plus, but...I have one question for you.”

He nods. “Yes?”

“Heeseung, can you hug me?”

It evidently catches him off-guard, just as you predicted— persona of confidence crashing down like a waterfall as he stutters out, “Wh—what?”

You clear your throat. “Only cool people are able to hug me. I need to confirm that you’re cool.”

“I can hug you!” Jake declares right next to you.

You blindly reach out your arm to give him a head pat. “See. Jake says he can hug me so he must be pretty cool. Heeseung, you can do the same, can’t you?

There it is. He’s back to being nervous and you feel like your job here is done. “O–of course,” he stifles out, following it with a strained laugh of weak incredulity. “Why wouldn’t I be able to hug you?”

“Then prove it.” You stretch out your arms, ready to squeeze and be squeezed. “Give me a big ‘ol squeeze, pretty boy.”

You stay like that for ten seconds as Heeseung remains glued to his spot in front, eyes shaking and nipping at the dead skin on his lips. You let your arms fall back to your sides. “Okay. C minus. Next.” His expression quickly transforms into offense.

“I feel like this grading system is a scam.”

“No hug, no opinion. Sit your ass down,” you click your tongue, smacking him with the clipboard when he weakly trudges back and squeezes next to Beomgyu on the crowded seat to your left with the box of snacks occupying most of the fake log, even though there’s clearly enough space next to you because Jay already started walking to the front even without your instruction.

Jay does not give an introduction, only a rough clear of his throat and he opens his presentation with just a slide occupied with his face. Slide two is another picture of his face, only slightly zoomed out. The next one has the hashtag JWU. Then there’s a full body mirror selfie.

The rest of the presentation proceeds in the same manner— a wordless slideshow of what is possibly his Instagram feed and before you know it, it’s already over. “Okay,” you exhale, pressing your palms together in front of your lips. “I understand that you are indeed a very handsome individual, Mr. Park, but what does that have to do with the assigned topic?”

“The question is why I am the coolest one here,” he says. “I’m cool because I’m Jay Park.”

It falls quiet.

You finally break the silence.

“Shit, that’s a pretty compelling argument.”

“This is bullshit!” Sunghoon argues. “He didn’t even say anything! There was no discussion! He should be disqualified.”

Jay remains unfazed. He defends with irrefutable wisdom, “Sometimes pictures speak louder than words.”

“Damn.” You let your clipboard fall to your lap. “I’m giving you an A.”

“Fuck yeah.”

Your decision elicits outrage from some of your students. “How is he getting a higher grade than me?!” one of them raises.

“He’s getting a higher grade because he doesn’t think I have cooties, Heeseung.” 

Heeseung throws his arms in the air in defeated frustration as Jay takes his snug seat right next to you again, a victorious smile gracing his face. You run your eyes through your scratch paper once more, pen tapping at the edge of the board. “Beomgyu, do you want to go next?” you ask, which is a mistake on your part because he starts acting just as obnoxious as Heeseung, which— if anything— just triggers your desire to make him crumble to his knees.

He even pulls out a lecture stick, testing it out by snapping it at full length on his palm. Is the fucker trying to go after your role as professor? Where the fuck did his glasses suddenly come from?

“Alright,” Beomgyu begins, the first slide displaying the words Why Choi Beomgyu is the coolest Housemate. “First thing’s first, does anyone in the audience know what my name is?”

“Oh, me!” Jake raises his hand. “Choi Beomgyu!”

“Correct!” The next slide appears when he hits the screen with the stick, revealing his name in a large, bold font with large spaces in between each syllable. “Choi. Beom. Gyu. Choi Beomgyu. Now, I’d like to direct your attention to this specific syllable right here—” he draws a circle around ‘Beom,’ “—what does Beom mean?”

“Offense,” Sunghoon answers. Beomgyu’s face scrunches up.

“What? Fuck, no. Another meaning— oh! Yes, Soobin hyung?”

“Tiger?”

His eyes brighten. “Exactly!” 

The next slide is a photo of a tiger on a field of green grass, grooming its fur as Beomgyu passionately rattles on with fun facts about the animal. You have no idea where this is going. “Tigers are some of the most amazing creatures on the planet, they are the largest members of the cat family and are renowned for their power and strength. As the largest member of the cat family, Tigers are strong, powerful and one of nature's most feared predators—”

“Did you get that from a website?” Jay interrupts.

Beomgyu dismisses him. “Yes, I did, but that’s not the point. The point is—”

Next slide. A hit from his lecture stick. It’s more text. Beom = Tiger. Beom = Choi Beomgyu’s cute nickname. Tiger = Beomgyu. 

“We have discussed that tigers are the coolest animals in the world. My name has tiger in it. Therefore I am the coolest person here. End of presentation. Thank you.”

He drops the stick to the ground and is about to walk away with Jake’s applause, but your penetrating stare stops him right before he reaches the crackling bonfire. You scribble on the clipboard before letting it settle face-down on your lap. You look up at him. “Beomgyu, are you a furry?”

Beomgyu freezes. He lets your question settle in his system before voicing out a very loud, very crunchy, “What the fuck?”

“Is this your way of telling us that you’re a furry?” 

“No! What are you talking about?” he hisses. “I’m just saying that since tigers are cool, that means I’m also cool and—”

“So, you’re identifying with a tiger?” you cut him off.

He presses his lips together, cautious. “Yes…”

“Because you have the word tiger in your name?”

“Yes.”

“And because they’re cool?”

“Yes. We’ve established that alr—”

“Okay, so you’re a furry?”

“Ye— no!” he yells out. “I’m not a fucking furry!”

“Understood. You’re a furry in denial.” You write something down on the clipboard. Beomgyu’s shoulders slacken in defeat. “I’m giving you a B plus. Take a seat, Tigerboy.” Though he grumbles in distaste, he listens to you anyway, trudging deflatedly back to his seat next to the equally grumbly Heeseung.

There are two people left to be victimized. Jake looks excited, so you don’t want to indulge his positive emotions. “Sunghoon,” you call out with a pleasant smile. He squeezes his eyes shut and mutters something under his breath before forcing himself up the log without you having to tell him. “Good boy. Go set up your thing.”

Unlike the rest, Sunghoon doesn’t have a laptop or phone or flash drive with him when he awkwardly takes the presenter spot in front. He’s standing on the balls of his feet, arms tucked behind his back and lips tightly pressed together nervously. “Mr Park,” you pull down your clipboard. “You’re free to project your slides.”

“Well,” he coughs out. “The thing is.”

“Yes?”

He exhales loudly. “I don’t have any slides.” You raise a brow. “I don’t know how to use powerpoint.”

You look at him. “I see.”

“I don’t know how to use this projector, either.”

You pause.

“Okay. I understand.” He breathes out a sigh of relief. “Alright, next present—”

“Wait!” Sunghoon stops you. “I can still give my presentation, I don’t need any dumb slides! I’m just as cool, if not cooler than the rest of them, so you can’t just skip over me.”

“Mr. Park,” you start. “Unfortunately, one of the criteria for this presentation is the quality and organization of your slides. I do not see any slides being presented, Mr. Park. You may present next time once you’re fully prepared.”

“What about Jay?” he tries to reason. “He just showed you a preview of his camera roll!”

The man in question has his mouth hanging open, pausing in the middle of stuffing a nicely toasted marshmallow into his mouth. You let out a sigh. “He had philosophy, Mr. Park. Philosophy,” you explain. “Do you have philosophy? Are you confident that you can convince me with your words alone? Without the help of cute animals and pictures of your pretty face?”

At the mention of his face, his knitted brows of frustration quickly melt into faint pink hues dusting his cheeks. You sniffle a little, rubbing a finger under your nose as you flip through the next page of the clipboard that’s resting on your lap. “Meet me in my office after class,” you tell him. Sunghoon grunts and stomps back to his seat in defeat.

“This sucks balls.”

“You have quite a few options to pick and choose from here,” you hum. “Jake, you’re the last one up. Please tell me you have a presentation prepared.”

“I do, and it’s gonna blow your mind,” he grins.

“Looking forward to it.” You watch blankly as Jake runs up to the front to connect his laptop to the projector, an excited bounce in his every movement and you start wondering how you can shatter this one’s hopes and dreams.

He asks if he can start. You give him a nod. At the click of a button, something boomerangs into the blank screen with 2007 Windows graphics and animation. The atrocious mismatch of fonts say Jake Sim is the coolest one here and here’s why.

“Reason number one—” Jake starts his presentation, turning over to the next slide and your vision is attacked with more outdated graphics, more jarring transitions and animations. “—I’m super funny. Allow me to demonstrate.” He begins by clearing his throat. “What did the Italian chef get sent to jail for?”

“What?” you go along.

“Too much assault.”

An assault is also a very proper descriptor for his PPT aesthetic. An assault to your eyes. It’s like watching a car crash that you can’t look away from even if you try. Reason number two is that he has a great smile (he does). Reason number three is because he has a dog (he also does). Reason number four doesn’t exist because he miscounted and skipped over to Reason number five.

“And lastly, Reason number ten—”

He takes something out of his pockets. It’s a couple dozen bills being thrown into the air.

“I have a lot of money.”

The rest of the boys are quiet. Jake grows quiet too, chest rising and falling after that very enthusiastic presentation and his wide grin slowly melts into that muddled with nervousness and unease because you aren’t saying anything yet— just looking at him with stern eyes and a sharp gaze. “W-well?” he rasps. “How did I do…?”

“How much?” you ask. He cocks his head in confusion. “How much money do you have?”

“Oh.” Jake blinks, now understanding. “I don’t know but it’s a lot.”

Your eyes sparkle, posture straightening. “Will you give me some of that money?” The unease has left Jake and has now transferred to the other five boys around you. Oh boy. Oh no, their eyes all seem to be saying.

“Sure, why not.”

You clap your hands together. “Jake wins. Class dismissed. Good night.”

It doesn’t take long for chaos to break out.

Heeseung and Jay are demanding for a recount (there is nothing to count except the sweet, sweet cash you’ll be receiving) and Beomgyu accuses you of being a slave to capitalism (that should’ve been evident from how you tried to scam money out of them with nudity and a jar on your first week here). Soobin starts clearing up the projector set-up and Sunghoon is on his knees begging for another chance to do his presentation as you watch the digits on your phone screen bump up in real-time when Jake wires you a decent chunk from his bank account.

Another successful day at the residence. This heatwave is better than you thought.

HOME FOR THE BITCHLESS. © hannie-dul-set, 2023.

[howlingday]

The Tall One

Cardin: Hey, Arc... How about we make a bet?

Jaune: A bet?

Cardin: Yeah. You win, I'll stop picking on you. But if I win, I get to take that cutie on your team out on a date? The tall one~.

Pyrrha: How disgusting...

Jaune: ...Alright.

Pyrrha: J-JAUNE?!

Jaune: But if I win, you leave all of my team alone, including her.

Cardin: Sounds like we have a deal.

---------------------------------------------------

One fight later...

Goodwitch: WINNER...

Goodwitch: CARDIN WINCHESTER!

Cardin: (Panting) Not bad, Arc... (Picks up) You actually made me sweat. But you gave your word now, so there's no going back.

Jaune: I'm sorry... guys...

Pyrrha: Jaune...

Cardin: (Walks up to Pyrrha)

Pyrrha: If you think I'm gonna-

Cardin: 'Scuse me, Nikos. (Walks past)

Pyrrha: Huh?

Cardin: (Walks to Nora) 'Scuse me, Nora.

Nora: Wait, if not me or Pyrrha, then-!

Ren: ...

Cardin: (Blushing) Uh... H-Hey, Rin. So, uh, what time should I... Y-Y'know?

Pyrrha/Nora: HE THINKS REN IS A GIRL?

Ren: ...While I respect that Jaune gave his word as a man, I do not agree with this result. He has a stomach bug and wasn't fighting at full strength.

Cardin: W-What-?

Ren: Also, I have no interest in boys. Good-bye. (Walks past him)

Cardin: Tch! (Falls to knees, Crying) Why do the hot ones always turn me down~?!

Pyrrha: ...

Nora: ...

---------------------------------------------------

Earlier

Cardin: Man, Jaune, how do you get anything done on a team full of girls? Especially that smoking hot babe in the dress?

Jaune: Babe in the dress?

Cardin: Yes, the green one?

Jaune: You mean Ren?

Cardin: Yeah, her. Rin~.

Jaune: ...

---------------------------------------------------

Later... But also earlier...

Jaune: Hey, Ren?

Ren: Yes, Jaune?

Jaune: Are you... okay?

Ren: What do you mean?

Jaune: I mean is anyone bothering you?

Ren: Besides Nora and her antics?

Jaune: Does you want me to make her stop?

Ren: No, no, she knows when I've had enough.

Jaune: Okay. Well, what about Cardin?

Ren: Cardin? No, not exactly. Why?

Jaune: Well, he... kind of has a crush on you.

Ren: ...

Jaune: ...Ren?

Ren: I'm sorry, Jaune I thought I heard something crazy. Something like how Cardin Winchester has a crush on me.

Jaune: Believe me, I am just as surprised as you are.

Ren: I didn't know he was interested in men.

Jaune: He's... not.

Ren: ...

[thatfanfictionchick]

OKAY I know Leraye's event in WHB is over but it has been ceaselessly rattling around in my brain for DAYS and I NEED to scream.

We get some funny moments with Leraye finding a snake and a pen and hurling a meteor into the forest trying to use magic to summon clouds for thunder but the MEAT of the story is about an angelic invasion that has Satan and Sitri and the other nobles battle-royaling.

We've been bamboozled, Holmes!

Help them Leraye, you're their only hope! no, literally

So my boy becomes a one-man gatling gun, head-shotting angels from a positively ridiculous distance to try and single-handedly save the suburbs of Gehenna from becoming a stomping ground.

I'm too scared to know if this is something that could legitimately happen from shooting a gun for too long my boy really said 'for the cause!' 🥹 and with some suspension of reality you totally forget that he's wiped out thousands of angels without running out of ammo UNTIL HE DOES

the way I was HOLLERING you don't even know

Baby boy broke his own horn to use for ammo and yes I was crying 😫 but he DOES IT my boy single-handedly takes out the entire army but he doesn't even get to chill because THIS BITCH

Your hair is ugly and your bow looks stupid 😤

lmaooo fried like a Marie Calendar pie! Anyway turns out Leraye loves storms so much because lighting saved him from being split open like a piece of fruit by Michelleel.

I need y'all to know that I audibly gasped 'NO' and threw my phone across the bed BECAUSE at the beginning-ish of Leraye's battle there's this:

I was FUMING like do you mean to tell me Stolas was there the whole time and he didn't help?? Bruh??? Ex-fuckin-scuse me???? STOLAS SLANDER MY BOY IS ALWAYS LOOKING FOR A FIGHT.

So then it jumps back to like, present day, where Paimon is chilling in the pub with Naberius and Stolas after finding them in Gehenna in the rain while he's waiting for Leraye to come meet him.

Not me going huh? wuh?? cause like WHAT DID STOLAS EVEN DO??

tsundere baby lmao

OKAY so then it jumps back to after the battle. Michelleel has been fried like a forgotten pizza and Leraye has collapsed and Sitri has finally come running. He heaves Leraye onto his back and RUNS to town because Leraye is only looking a little better than swiss cheese and uh kinda needs some patching and during the course of this run Leraye happens to notice something as only he can because this man has the keenest eyes God has ever made.

and would have easily overrun Gehenna, yes.

But wait! There's more!

You did good, my dude.

WAIT WHAT.

lkjfreoifjrslkfslj STOLAS BABY I'M SO SORRY I EVER DOUBTED YOU I KNEW YOU WERE A GOOD EGG 😭💕

So Leraye knew the whooole time that Stolas helped him hold off the invasion of Gehenna all those years ago and he's aways wanted to thank him for it I'm SOBBING.

Anyway, best event period because it featured my two faves interacting in a way I didn't expect I'll be thinking about it for ages to come.

[ghosts-of-love]

scuse the long post but there was a post going round a while ago about how the Captain probably wouldn't say he's gay in the show bc that's not what it means in his vocab and i definitely agree with that BUT i can see it happening if his saying "gay" is meant to represent his welcoming the "fascinating modern age" that he now sort of inhabits, and show his progression from the era he has been tied to for so long.

it's also got me thinking about the reactions of the other ghosts because i think that whatever way he says it, everyone's different vocab is going to make it difficult for him especially in a Group Setting!

starting simple, "I'm a homosexual", miscommunication from the get-go when Julian pretends he doesn't know what it means just to stir shit up. robin desperately needs to know who the Captain is having sex with and why he has never been approached. Cap gets flustered and scarpers.

can imagine him being like,, "I am, as the youth say, gay" (trying to be hip and use slang because he's terribly modern now). half of them are like, yeah i'm happy too, what of it? but then Kitty absolutely jumps on that like, I'M a youth, I should be gay too!! starts going round telling everyone she's gay, you know?

Or, he does the whole "I prefer the company of men" thing which i LOVE (definitely read some excellent fic with this specific wording and it's just *chefs kiss*) but in a group setting?? it definitely leads to all the others being like,, umm misogynist much?? you hate women?? Kitty starts crying thinking that Cap would prefer to hang out with Julian over her. Mary headbutts him again, absolute carnage.

every single one of these potential coming-outs ends with Thomas thinking that the Captain is in love with him and he's very flattered but he's so in love with Alison...

the funny thing is that individually i think they'd all be fine to come out to (some better than others, some wouldn't be my first choice but overall, depending on what you're looking for in a reaction, they'd be great) but in a GROUP setting, it has the potential to be a real shit show and i love that.

[greenthena]

Ineffable Lapels: Our Side

I've seen some stellar breakdowns and analyses of the costuming for Good Omens, and I'm personally blown away by the consideration afforded to each element of the visual production of this show. I even appreciate the anachronistic elements that Claire Anderson chose to use in the 537 A.D. Kingdom of Wessex flashback, because aesthetic was more important than historical accuracy (Oscar Wilde would support me here, I am certain.) And to be perfectly honest, 6th century European armor was not going to cut it. So much quilting.

This discussion is just a little traffic circle spin that I wanted to address with no larger point than to say how much I adore Anderson's work on this show. That's a lie. This post has actually gotten out of hand, so grab yourself six shots of espresso in a big cup and get in. We're going for a ride.

It's the smallest detail, but have you noticed the Ineffable Idiots' lapels? Crowley's lapels always point up (not the case with any other demons). Aziraphale's lapels always point down* (again, not the case with other angels). *I'll address the one divergence at the end of this post. It's kind of the whole point. It'll be worth it. Just drink your espresso and listen.

Lapels are a fantastically subtle way to express characterization when costuming an angel and a demon. Perhaps Aziraphale's lapels are an echo of his wings? Maybe Crowley's lapels symbolize devil horns? Maybe their costumes are just reaching out trying to give each other a hug. I dunno.

I'm going to start with promo shots from both seasons that show Crowley and Aziraphale's present day wardrobes. The first promo shot pictures the costumes for all of present day S1. It's perfect for demonstrating the most pronounced expression of the lapels. Consider this a baseline or something like that.

The close up of the promo for S2 (featuring nakey Gabriel and the migrating nightingales...I'm not crying, you're crying) shows pretty similar costumes to the first season. Yes, the hairstyles have subtly changed (Crowley's not so subtly, perhaps), but the lapel positioning for both characters remains consistent.

Going back in time. (Let's call this the Baby Antichrist Era, shall we?) Crowley's collar is quite a bit narrower than in the present day, but the lapels still point up. Obviously, Aziraphale is still wearing the same coat. Obviously.

I will never recover from this John Lennon bastardry. But still, check out those lapels. And the brocade is so 60's and so over the top.

And here's Michael delivering his favorite line from S1, whilst breaking Crowley's (and literally everyone else's) heart. Do take a gander at those downward-facing lapels, though, and 'scuse me while I go have a quick cry.

I'm going out of order with this next image, back to the start of the Holy Water incident. (Don't worry, we will get to 1941. It requires more attention and will have to wait its turn.) Not a whole lot I want to pull from this image other than Aziraphale's fuzzy top hat and Crowley's snake-handled cane, which I believe he's using as he recovers from his recent trip to Hell. These costume pieces have nothing to do with lapels, I just think they're neat. But the lapel pattern holds: up for the demon, down for the angel.

A few decades earlier, we see Crowley in Edinburgh just hours before being sucked into an infernal whirlpool. The lapels here are more parallel than distinctly upward-pointing, but the extravagant shoulders on this overcoat demand a balancing lapel line.

Likewise, on Aziraphale's overcoat we don't see a defined downward-pointing lapel, so much as a wide horizontal collar, but the layers of wing-like capelets create an impression of flowing down. With these two stunning overcoats from the Edinburgh flashback set, I think the unusual period elements take the place of the lapels in demonstrating the upward tilt in Crowley's ensembles, and the downward pull in Aziraphale's.

Okay, now we can discuss 1941. Because this is where the cookie crumbles. Originally, these costumes vexed me. As usual, Crowley wears his upward-pointing lapels. But Azirapalala, goddamnit, also has upward-pointing lapels to match Crowley. But am I gonna' let a little thing like this destroy my thesis? Don't shit with me when I am analyzing costumes, because this is also the night when Aziraphale realizes he's in love with Crowley (this is Sheen cannon and cannot be disputed).

Their lapels match because of Aziraphale's revelation--he finally understands what it means to be on "Our Side," because he's finally admitted to himself that he is head-over-bloody-heels in love with the wily demon. The matching lapels in 1941 is some St. John of Patmos-level stuff, I think, their matching collars revealing their synchronicity. Even if it's only for the one night, they're one the same page, heading in the same direction. I know many of us in the fandom are pretty preoccupied with the idea of a third 1941 flashback in S3 because this night seems to be the hinge in their relationship. It's the night when everything changes. It's not just Crowley swooping in to rescue his angel, as he's done in the past. They're mutually dependent on one another to make it through the night alive, well, at least to avoid discorporation (it's romantic, okay?) Crowley diverts the Luftwaffe plane; Aziraphale protects them from the blast of the bomb; Crowley saves the books; Aziraphale saves Crowley's ass from an irate Mrs. Henderson; Crowley saves Aziraphale's magic show (by literally not discorporating him on stage); and Aziraphale saves both their asses with some surprisingly successful prestidigitation when he swaps out the incriminating photo Furfur had managed to snap of the Ineffable Morons.

Crowley and Aziraphale's matching lapels in 1941 isn't a fluke or a costuming blunder. I think it's a very subtle head nod to what we all know actually happened that night: Aziraphale took a tenuous step forward in their relationship. A step 6000 years in the making. A step that, if noticed by their respective superiors, could mean the actual and eternal end to them. He couldn't shout it from the rooftops--he couldn't even speak of it directly in private (I mean he tried, but "That's what friends are for" was as painful for the viewer as it was for Crowley and Aziraphale.) He couldn't disclose through words or direct actions what he needed the demon to know, so he used what avenue he had available to him. Through the subdued symbolism of his bloody lapels, Aziraphale communicated to his demon, "I am on Our Side."

For reading to the end of this post, you get a very special reward! Here is The Amazing Mr. Fell. I love him. I'm not going to address right now the fantastic costume because this beauty deserves a post of its own--the cape with the stars! THE CAPE WITH THE STARS! HE'S SWATHED HIMSELF IN CROWLEY'S CREATION...I'm fine.

[jazzfromthevoid]

OH CRAP IM ON THE LAST EPISODE OF MAG

NoOOOOOOO

JON

MARTINN

WHYYYYY

THIS IS KILLING MEEEEEEE

HELP

I do not have the words

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Jonah Magnus you BITCH

FUCK HIM UP JON

Wait what

What

What

No

Wtf

WTF

NO?

HUH???

EX-FUCKING-SCUSE ME????

Jonathan????????

No this isn't ok THIS IS NOT OK

This was not the AGREED PLAN JONATHAN

MARTIN GET YOUR GODDAMN BOYFRIEND

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

NOOOO

JON

MY BOYS

I'm actually crying

Why would you do this to me

I'm not ok

Ok at least the admiral is alright

Oh my god, that was amazing, genuinely amazing. I'm emotionally scared but in a good way. I've been putting off listening to the final ep for a while just because I was scared of how it would end but that was incredible

I honestly can't wait to listen to tmagp but I'm going to wait a bit to gather my thoughts.

My personal finale thoughts won't really be anything different to what others have already said, and I know I'm very late to the party by a couple years.

All I really have to say is mag is now my new top podcast and I'm really excited to see where tmagp is heading 👍

Now I'm going to scream into the void for a couple days. BYE HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY :D

[bobbyseyesmile]

Pride and Passion | 10

Chapter 10

⤝ Previous chapter | Next chapter ⤞ ➻ Pride and Passion masterlist

“You know he’s using you, right?” the deep voice rumbled through your head and kept you awake for the second night in a row.

“Shut up. You’re not real.” You whispered back, eyes closed and silently hoping the voice would just disappear.

“I’m as real as you want me to be, girl. Tell me-“ the voice stopped and suddenly appeared in the other corner of the room. “…what is it with you and toxic men?”

You didn’t want to but a small snort escaped you. How ironic, how true… “Funny thing coming from you.”

“Heh, what can I say? Little bit proud of my work here.”

“What work?” you answered, scolding yourself. Stop it- he wasn’t real.

“Ya know, creating a tough little bitch.”

You opened your eyes and scanned the room. Of course, there was no one there but still, you didn’t feel alone. How could you- the demons of your past where with you all the time. “You didn’t create me. I did all that myself, it was my choice to kill you.”

Shane’s raspy laugh appeared behind you. “That you did.” You closed your eyes, waiting for something to happen, a touch, a light breeze, anything. “And I enjoyed every second of it, baby.”

“Stop it.” A small laugh escaped your lips. “I didn’t.”

“Because ya loved me. Because ya still do.”

“I don’t.”

“Why? Because there’s another big bad man?”

“Because you tried to kill my dad…” painful memories filled your head and you rubbed your eyes, hoping they would disappear. “And because-“

A sudden knock silenced you mid-sentence. You hesitated at first but after a few moments got up and opened the wooden door. “Yes?”

“You alright?”

You didn’t know what to answer. No, you were not okay but there was no energy to explain that so you just said: “Why?”

Negan raised an eyebrow and scanned your room with a quick glance. “Hmm… maybe because you were talking to yourself, obviously?”

“I was not-“ you started but then stopped. What could you possibly say- I am not talking to myself but my dead boyfriend who haunts me? Nah, better not. „Yeah, I‘m okay.“

Negan knew it was a lie, your face was all flustered, even scared. Like you’ve just seen a ghost. “And you’re absolutely and unchangeably sure about that, doll?”

“Y-yes.” you whispered but didn’t dare to look at his face. You were too scared to lose it, too scared to explain what was really going on but there was just no way you could ever talk about Shane…

Negan watched carefully while you turned around, scanning your room. There was no one there. “Did you eat?”

His questions made you uneasy, your head was already confused enough. “N-no.”

“Then let’s go.” he grabbed your hand, joyfully whistling some melody that was unfamiliar to your ears and strolled towards the canteen.

“I am not hungry, Negan.”

“I know that feeling. You should still eat something- you already lost a few pounds since you moved here.”

“How long has it been?” you asked and suddenly stopped in your tracks. Negan stopped as well but was still holding your hand. He simply didn’t want to let go of you, fuck, all he wanted was to hold you in his arms.

“Four months.” he answered and your expression changed. It seemed like you were about to cry.

“I bet she can’t remember me anymore…” you whispered and hid your face in your hands; tears forming in the corner of your eyes.

“’Scuse me?” he asked.

“Judith…” you answered, unable to form another sentence.

“The baby?” Negan stroked his beard. “Cute thing, held her a few weeks back.”

Your head snapped upwards, looking into his dark eyes. “You h-held her?” He nodded. “How is she?! Is she healthy? Is there enough food?”

“Calm down, sweetheart.” He let out a low chuckle. “The baby is fine. Everyone in Alexandria is just fine.”

You really wanted to believe it, you needed to believe it. For all you knew they could be dead and Negan would lie straight to your face.

“And I have to say-“he started, reaching for your hand and softly caressing the skin with his thumb “They also look better than you. Christ, honey, you have to eat.”

You shook your head and wiped the tears away that still kept flowing like a goddamn waterfall. “I don’t want to…”

“Y/N-“ his voice was serious. You didn’t care. You simply couldn’t care. There you were: Away from your people, seeing and hearing your dead boyfriend. It was too much. But Negan didn’t know all this and slowly started to lose his patience, he wanted to keep you alive and well.

You sank down on the dirty floor, uncontrollably crying and sobbing now. He just stood there and had to watch. “If you eat…” he started but stopped mid-sentence. Should he really? Oh, fuck it, how bad could it be. “…I’ll let you come to Alexandria for the run this afternoon.”

You carefully looked up into his eyes and tried to understand the words that just left his mouth. “What?”

“You heard me, darling. Eat and you can come.” His plan and motives didn’t matter right now, important was to get you fed and cleaned up. Nothing else had a higher priority.

“You’re just saying that, like you always say things but never mean them!” A few tears dripped down your chin and he tried very hard not to kneel and wipe them away.

“I promise, Y/N.” Normally you wouldn’t give two shits about Negan’s “promises” but something in his voice made you believe him. Could he really mean it? You still sat on the floor when he held his hand out for you to take it. You hesitated at first but decided to take his hand and in one smooth motion, he had you back up on your feet.

“You eat, I’ll explain the rules, ya hear me?” he asked and you nodded. The following hour you fought with the massive amount of food that Negan picked out for you. When you managed to eat half of it, he finally let you go to clean up before you would see your family again.

Usually when Negan brought his wives along, they had to look pretty because he just loved to show them off. Of course, he fidgeted with the thought of you in a tight dress, high heels- showing you off in front of your whiney Daddy. It made him chuckle thinking about Ricks possible reactions. But something held him back. He didn’t want to show you off; sure, he wanted everybody to know that you were his but the dress and heels weren’t really your type. And as unbelievably sexy as you looked, the jeans and shirt you always wore made him just as hard as a tight ass dress.

“Fuck…” he groaned and tried to push the sinful thoughts away. Negan wasn’t stupid. He knew there was a possibility that you hate him forever, that you’d never give him permission to touch you- but something in your eyes reminded him that maybe it wasn’t hate that made you constantly run from him.

A shy knock made his stomach all jumpy. Ah shit, he had it bad for you… “Come in.”

“Hi.” You managed to say and gave him a small smile. Negan bit his tongue when he saw the shorts and the tight top you decided to wear. Your eyes followed him and quickly explained: “My usual pants weren’t dry yet… I had to borrow this from the laundry room…”

“It’s fucking fine.” He chuckled and stood up. “Ready to go?”

You were more than ready and tried to calm your excessively beating heart down- it felt like it would jump straight outta your chest. But something held you back instead of jumping up and down. Negan saw your hesitation and carefully lifted your chin so you would look at him. “Not ready?”

“I-“ you started and tried to swallow the lump in your throat. “I’m just afraid that if I see them again, I don’t want to leave… I wanna stay there.”

“Well…” he sighed deeply and let go of your face. “That is a very likely possibility. You still have to come back with me though, princess.”

You just nodded. Of course, you knew. He would have never allowed you to stay in Alexandria. “Can I-“ you stopped when he turned around, his intense eyes lingering on you “Maybe in the future I could stay there a bit longer than just for a few hours? Like, for a night or so?”

“Y/N…” he warned and you quickly added “Just think about it, okay? No need to decide now.”

“You know I would stay there too for the night, right? Cause I can’t let you out of my sight. You know that?” Your head nodded slowly, unsure what he meant. “So, we would have to share a room, a bed even. You really want that?” Negan’s eyes were serious but you heard the mischievous tone in his voice. When you wouldn’t reply immediately, he started to laugh.

“Oh shit! You’re really thinking about it, aren’t you? You would share a bed with me just so you could stay there a bit longer!” Your cheeks started burning and you looked down. Well, it wasn’t the best option. It was not the worst one as well…

“If that’s what it takes…” you whispered and stared at his lips.

“Hmm…” His smile widened before he said: “Let’s go.” His hand on the small of your back when he guided you out of his room saying: “Let’s talk about it later…”

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