#scruffing his kittens and keeping them from wandering off

[fortheloveofexy]

YAY! THE RETURN OF OMEGA DREW

He's been in my mind palace all along 💆‍♂️🧠 I think about him so much, it's a disease.

[p1nkshield]

Greetings and welcome to Chapter Seven!

Bruce kept checking and rechecking the security footage. One moment his son and the surprise guest were talking in the cave and the next a rift opens up pulling them both through.

“Hn”

Not good.

“Barbara.”

Bruce decided to call in the big guns on this one.

“Hello Bruce, I would say it’s nice to hear from you but considering this is the emergency line I'm concerned. What’s up?"

"Jason is missing."

Bruce let words fall out of his mouth quickly. He didn’t want to make his worries so apparent. He didn’t want to lose his composure. Losing his composure could cause mistakes in his detective work.

Bruce could hear the first few questions that Barbara posed.

"What do mean he's missing? Like he's left the manor? I can try to track him if you want."

Bruce nodded.

Of course he put an inter-dimensional tracker into the comms he gave to all of his children. This was exactly why.

Bruce rechecked the security footage.

For once Jason was actually wearing his.

good.

All the while Barbara was entering something into the computer on her end.

"I'm not getting anything for Jason's location..."

Bruce was truly concerned now.

He needed a lead to latch onto. Something he can focus on to keep his mind from wandering to extreme conclusions. Bruce then reviewed the audio recording from his cameras.

"Take us to Frostbite!"

"Wait!"

Frostbite? Was that a place or a person? Where have they gone that his tracker was out of range? Was it out of range or was it broken?

"You called me before listening to the audio from the security cam?"

"..."

Barbara decided not to press the matter.

"We have a lead, but I'm not really equipped to follow it. The only thing coming up for "Frostbite" is the medical condition and Icicle Jr.'s really sub par band"

Bruce's worry mixed with reluctance.

"Constantine."

"What is this now! Two calls from spooky the bat this year? I'm just tapping my toes with joy. What cataclysmic event do you have for me?"

Jason felt as though he had accidentally caught Superman's cape with his grappling hook.

He wrenched his eyes shut as he hurtled through space via map. Danny on the other hand was enjoying every moment of the journey, grinning as they flew to their destination.

Jason found himself face down among ice, snow and glaciers.

"Great One! It is good to see you, and you've returned the infinimap! You are truly full of surprises."

Jason managed to dislodge his face from the snow bank in time to see Danny being clapped jovially on the back by an eight foot tall yeti.

He could only blink.

"Who is this new guest you've brought with you?"

Jason was then scruffed like a kitten, placed on his feet and had the snow gently dusted off of his head by an eight foot tall yeti.

"That's Jason. He's cool, I promise. I was wondering if you could give us both a check up though. If you haven’t noticed yet he doesn't have a core yet and I'm tinier than usual."

Frostbite looked appraisingly between both Danny and Jason.

"And here I was about to applaud you on finally mastering shapeshifting! No matter, a friend to the savior of the infinite realms is a friend of mine. Follow me! You both shall receive the best care we can offer!"

Jason shuffled through the snow, following an eight foot tall yeti.

Said eight foot tall yeti managed to make Jason feel surprisingly comfortable in his presence. That is until he came to his diagnosis.

"Let me get this straight. I'm basically an infant, I’m ectoplasmicly malnourished, and I will eventually have powers?"

"Essentially, yes."

Danny snickered from a distance.

Jason really missed being a regular old zombie.

"What if I told you that I do not believe you?"

Frostbite mirthfully chuckled.

"If that were true I would ask you why you survived drinking ectoplasm."

Jason conceded.

"Ya got me there."

"That I do!"

Frostbite then addressed Danny

"Great One, I must admit this is not the safest place for either of you to heal and grow respectively. It has come to my attention that your parents are accepting payment in order for a certain Organization to have access to the portal."

Danny quietly processed the information, looking far too profoundly tired than any child should.

"How can I help?"

Frostbite carried two large tanks into the center of the room.

"Rest, heal and allow yourself to delegate tasks amongst your subjects."

Frostbite then knelt down to Danny's level and placed a large paw on his shoulder.

"We will be fine here Danny."

He then got up and lifted the two tanks.

"You both need to have a good supply of ectoplasm where you are staying. I think one of these will be enough for both you to reach a point where your cores are properly formed or reformed."

Frostbite carried the two tanks to out to the second most interesting individual Jason has met today.

"Wulf!"

Danny apparently knew this werewolf enough to greet him happily.

"Wulf, if you would be so inclined, can you open a portal to the dimension this young man is from?"

This Wulf as Jason has now gleaned sniffed him aggressively then nodded.

This is totally normal and fine.

Wulf then used his claws and ripped a portal out of thin air into the batcave.

Great.

Danny traipsed through the portal as if it was a door. Jason decided to help Frostbite push the tanks through the portal to feel some semblance of knowing what is happening.

Frostbite left them with well wishes as the portal closed.

Jason tried his best to wipe the bewildered look off his face when he realized the batcave was currently occupied.

Bruce had apparently started an entire search party with the rest of his family.

Tim had his detective wall of documents all pinned up.

Damian was arguing about the placement of the string.

Dick was pacing a few yards away from the wall.

Bruce was about to get carpal tunnel with the speed at which he was typing, his monitor was split between a database and a call with Constantine.

That is until the scraping of large metal tanks stopped them all in their tracks.

Jason waved.

"Hey"

He was immediately tackled by his older brother and squeezed into a hug.

"You can't scare us like that Jace!"

Bruce hung up on Constantine and walked towards him.

"Sorry I spooked you I didn’t really have time to leave a note-"

Interrupted, Jason and Dick by proxy was swept into a hug by Bruce.

Bruce let go.

"Let me know before you travel extra dimensionally."

He then left.

Dick had yet to let go, continuing his fretting.

"You just disappeared! None of use could find you! Never ever do that to me again. I swear you’re going to make me go bald with stress! Do you want me to look like Lex?"

Jason managed to get out of the vice grip Dick had on him.

"I'm sorry, okay? I go to the ghost doctor once and everyone thinks I've been kidnaped!"

Tim piped up

"To be fair it did look a lot like you got kidnaped by an inter dimensional map"

Dick managed to look even more worried.

"What do you mean a ghost doctor!?"

Jason shrugged.

"Exactly what I said. Found out I'm a baby ghost."

"A baby half ghost! Wellcome to the club, you are one of very few halfas in existence."

Jason took that information in

"What he said."

@shinyladykingdom @kyrianclawraith @vehan-tikkun-olam-and-stuff @darkhinauniverse @krzys2000 @coruscateselene @kjoboo91 @vythika96 @hydralusus @addie-lover-of-stories @skulld3mort-1fan

Also I don't want to flood people's notifs with my silly little fanfic so if you want me to continue to tag you let me know! Also sometimes I can't find the blog people ask me to tag them with so if you asked to be tagged and weren’t it wasn’t on purpose!

[contradictivs]

🐈 Johnny

scruff em <3

After the last time, Ryder had learned better than to venture too far from the shed that he had been sequestered to on his own. The only time that he was close to being genuinely safe around the Slaughter family was when he was with Johnny. And even then it was very clear that the rest of the family was just barely tolerating him for the young killer's sake. Ryder was sure that they were itching to finish him off finally like they had with the rest of his friends. But Johnny had made it clear that the rest of them were to leave him alone for the most part.

He was the shiny new toy that the other Slaughters couldn't touch unless they wanted to be at the receiving end of Johnny's rage.

That didn't mean that they didn't try to mess with him. The last time that he had wandered around on his own was a testament to that — And, as as he was finding out, any time Johnny wasn't close enough to properly keep an eye on them. Maybe the current situation had more to do with Nubbins being upset about what happened last time than anything.

Unlike the situation just a couple days ago, though, Ryder found his fight instinct taking over instead of the freeze one. It was the same instinct that had kept him alive for the majority of the night when he had first met the Slaughter family. He did have the strength advantage, at least, and the increasing feral energy like an anxious animal.

The little tussle couldn't have lasted more than a couple of minutes before Johnny had made it to them. It was only the large hand curling at the back of his neck and practically lifting him off of the Nubbins that had effectively pulled him away. The metallic taste of blood filling the blonde's mouth from where he had bitten down, maybe a good handful of times, against the other man's arm and shoulder. He felt the majority of his sense of fighting leave him, far too focused on the way he was being scruffed like a kitten than anything else.

[thebestworstidea]

The Green Knight’s Lady (5)

Sequel fic to “The Witch and the Green Knight” (on Ao3)

Warnings: undeserved redemption arc, graphic imagery and bad behavior.

Chapter 1: In which Rowan has Unexpected House Guests

Chapter 2: In Which They Try to Figure Out What the Hell is Going On

Chapter 3: In Which Remus and Rowan’s Stupidity Escalates to Treason (sort of)

Chapter 4: In Which Life is Difficult

>-<>-< ——————-<>——————- >-<>-<

In Which Remus has an Argument with A Cat and Rowan makes some Charms

>-<>-< ——————-<>——————- >-<>-<

The day had been fairly calm, a lovely warm day in spring; so naturally, that couldn’t last. 

“You!” Remus said, and pounced. There was a general clattering, and Rowan turned around to see that Remus had grabbed a hold of a large gray cat, who to his credit, was trying to twist and get a hold of  Remus’s wrist, in spite of being mostly scruffed. 

“Hey!” Rowan yelped. “Leave Mouse alone.”

“I will leave this little bugger alone as soon as he calms the fuck down and listens to me.” Remus retorted, shifting his hands as they got scratched. He yelped as Mouse sunk his teeth into a finger. 

“Mouse!” Rowan said in a scolding voice, and the large cat subsided into a deep grating growl. 

“Okay, Little Tree, bear with me a second okay?” he shifted his hands again, so he was supporting the cat under his forelegs. The cat mostly put up with it. “This little asshole-” Mouse gave another growl. “Is a cait sidhe. I don’t know how you missed it.’

“... no.” Rowan said, staring at the bright green eyes of her favorite cat. It was true she’d found him in the woods when he was a kitten. And it was true that he was half-feral, wandering off for weeks and sometimes months when it suited him. And that he was much bigger than the other cats, but she figured Mouse had some forest cat in him or something. 

Something was apparently it. 

“Mouse…” she said, exasperated, and she’d never seen a cat avoid her gaze quite like that. 

“He’s been giving me shit since I started visiting.” Remus continued. “I can mostly understand him; better than normal animals, even. But… Danger Noodle.” 

“Ah.” Rowan reached out and grabbed the back of Mouse’s neck, taking him from Remus and cradling him in her arms. He shifted about and put both paws on her shoulder as if he was about to jump. She tightened her hand around his neck. “Hold up, Mouse.” she murmured. “I’m not mad, honest.” Her thumb made little strokes against his dense short fur.  He looked at her soulfully, giving an earnest ‘pathetic mew’.  “Has that ever worked on me?” she demanded, and was surprised when he nodded. “Shit, you would remember wouldn’t you?” 

Remus laughed, and Mouse’s tail lashed as she rolled him onto his back in her arms.  

“Since you’ve been bothering the compost heap since we became friends, you know I trust him right?” 

The cat hissed. 

“Don’t take that tone with me, mister.” She said disapprovingly. “I need you to keep a secret.” The cat’s tail lashed back and forth a bit.  Rowan kissed his nose, and he headbutted her affectionately, a purr starting. Remus watched this exchange in wonderment.  

“I’m sure you can tell I’ve got another fae visitor right now. I bet you like his smell just as much as you like my green brother’s.” Mouse rubbed pointedly against her head, and grabbed a hold of the end of her braid. “But he’s kind of a refugee, so I need you to not tell anyone he’s here, okay? You’ve charmed enough butter and cream out of me to know I’ll reward you for it.” 

Mouse thoughtfully groomed the end of her braid.  Remus just stared at them both. Finally the cat shifted and head butted her again. This time Rowan let him hop down and he gave a big stretch to show how unimpressed he was, flicking his eyes up at Remus, who met them. Mouse strolled over- and peed on Remus’s boot before dashing off into the woods.

“I’ll take that as a compliment!” Remus yelled after him, and Rowan burst into laughter.

-@-

       The world was an explosion of green, somewhere out underneath the rain that promised to continue right over May Day. Remus was off in the woods somewhere, and Rowan was working in her sunroom, Danger Noodle having hooked a small hammock from the ceiling and was glaring down at her with the air of a cranky king.  She suspected it had more to do with the broad spectrum heat lamps than her presence. 

“At least this is keeping the daisies down. This town is such an unnecessary hassle. They could have just accepted their inhuman overlords.” 

“Yeah, humans aren’t good at that.” the witch said agreeably.  “But we only grow daisies in the front yard. I don’t like the way they smell, and Mother’s always been sad you can’t really grow ‘crazy daisies’. They’re an ok ward, though I’ve been doing some experiments with resin jewelry with them.” she had a batch waiting to be strung actually, waiting for the spring markets. She wasn’t sure how well they’d work at warding fae, but they were pretty. She had another batch of flowers  pressing. She’d gotten a few perfect blooms before the rain started, and any that broke could go in tea. 

“So the entire back of your house is exposed to the forest?” 

“Well if you ignore the wrought iron trellis and the rowan tree.” She countered. “Which you don’t.” 

D.N. made a face at her. The copper kettle on the hotplate whistled, and she put aside her work to make tea. Rather than try to hand Danger Noodle a cup she ‘abandoned’ one near his perch with several lumps of sugar in it.  Ignoring it, she hooked the heels of her boots into the rung on the stool and checked the pattern she was following once more, shifting threads back and forth, the soft clicking of bobbins almost as rhythmic as the rain. From time to time she’d mumble under her breath. 

Finally she picked up small gold-plated scissors, and snipped it loose from the braiding tower, braiding the trailing ends together in a much simpler pattern. 

“I haven’t made one of these since high-school.” She mumbled sucking on the ends to thread them through beads taken from small wooden boxes laid out on her worktable, before knotting them again, and offering it over to Danger Noodle. “Tie this around your wrist, looping three times. People looking to do you harm will look past you.” Rowan frowned. “Well, that’s what the charm is for. If you wear them too much, people will start looking past you no matter what.” 

“Why would I need that?” he held it like it smelled bad. 

“Because it’s witch magic, not fae magic. So people looking for fae magic won’t automatically notice it.” She shrugged. “Might make it safer for you to go with Remus.”

“Trying to get rid of me?”

“That’ll happen in it’s own time, I’m sure.” 

The door to the outside opened, and Remus tromped in, soaking wet and covered in mud. 

“Hello darlings!” he crowed. 

“No don’t-” Rowan started, and D.N. just rolled into his canvas cocoon as Remus shook violently, watering the plants that grew along the sides of the sunroom. 

And Rowan.

[im-fairly-whitty]

The Witcher Wolf: The Road to Kaer Morhen

Geralt and Jaskier have successfully retrieved Ciri just in the nick of time, but now must travel to the safety of Kaer Morhen with her and Mousesack the druid while Nilfgaard is searching for them.

Geralt's ability to turn into a wolf comes in handy, a mysteriously magical death unearths the beginning of a mystery he can't resist chasing, and he realizes that for Ciri's sake he must face the heretofore unaddressed relationship failings of his past.

[Chapter 1: By the Fireside]

Chapter 2: The Bandit

“Here, you look like you can use some coin. Have your little ones eaten anything today? I’ve got some food, take it.”

Geralt slowly drifted back to full consciousness as the sound of a stranger’s voice in the campsite pushed him awake. After his shift watching Ciri for nightmares he’d taken to meditating outside their tent for the rest of the night, his face hidden in his hood.  

“In exchange why don’t you tell me where you’ve come from?” The voice continued from across their corner of the refugee camp. “Have you seen any troop movements during your travels? Any particular dangers along your way or tales you’ve heard from others?”

Geralt opened his eyes to peer across the burnt out fire pit. The sun was only just beginning to rise and the camp to stir but he could still see the man with a blond ponytail talking to the parents of Ciri’s playmates from the night before. He seemed to be freely distributing food to the children from a satchel, food that only Geralt could scent as smelling faintly of death.

Geralt’s eyes widened as the man’s familiar scent registered, taking in the man’s blue tunic and the black leather patch strapped over one eye. He hadn’t seen the bastard since the last time he’d been robbed at knifepoint in Novigrad.

Geralt got to his feet silently, crossing the campsite in several quick steps and latching a hand onto the man’s shoulder, unceremoniously pulling him out of camp and into the forest brush before he could react. Geralt was careful to pin the man’s hands behind him before a startled dagger could have the chance to find its way into Geralt’s ribs.

“What are you doing here Feliks?” Geralt rumbled as soon as they were out of earshot from the camp, shoving the man a few steps from him as he released him. “Shouldn’t you be pickpocketing merchants in Novigrad this time of year?”

Feliks’ expression was panicked and cold as Geralt released him, but it flashed to one of delight instead as he turned and got a look at who had scruffed him. He caught his balance against a tree, looking up at the witcher with an excited smile.

“Geralt of Rivia!” Feliks cried. “Goodness, I never thought I’d see you here of all places? Why, I don’t think we’ve seen each other since I kept the boys from robbing you at knifepoint last year in the leatherworking district. How are you? Is Jaskier with you? Where did-”

“My question first.” Geralt interrupted, knowing from experience that the excitable bandit leader could out-babble even Jaskier given the chance. “What are you doing in a refugee caravan this far from the city? I thought you’d given up life on the road in favor of benevolently ruling your patch of gang turf.”

“Well you can’t really expect me to just sit around in the same city all year, can you Geralt?” Feliks said with a smile, hands on his hips. “The boys hold down the fort whenever I feel like going for a jaunt, there’s been so much buzz around the Nilfgaardians I thought it might do me some good to get a bit of fresh air. See the countryside, scout some troop movements, pick some corpses clean.”

He cheerily pulled at the strap of his satchel, hefting its contents. Well that explained the lingering smell of death. “Nothing gets coin moving like war my friend, and information is the hottest commodity around. Why pass the chance to stretch my legs on to a lackey when I’m perfectly capable of hopping refugee camps to collect it myself?”

“Only you would think of a trip to the countryside and looting corpses as equally enjoyable outings.” Geralt said flatly.

“Oh don’t you tease me like that, witcher.” Feliks said with a wink, flipping a coin in the air and catching it. “You’re the one who taught me how to shake down a stiff back when I was just getting started, remember? Could have cut me down in my own oversized stolen boots for getting into your saddlebags uninvited, but instead you showed me how to hold my sword right. Besides, coin does these refugees a lot more good than it’ll ever do the dead whose pockets it came from, even if it has got some blood on it.”

“If I’d known my advice would lead you to becoming Novigraad’s youngest syndicate leader I’d have trussed you up and tossed you in the river instead.” Geralt said dryly, despite his best efforts unable to keep the barest hint of fondness from creeping into his voice.

Even though Geralt didn’t approve of all of Feliks’...methods, he also knew that the poor who lived in the neighborhoods he claimed never seemed to go without for as long as Feliks was in charge. The bandit had come a long way from the starry-eyed young man Geralt had first caught stealing from him years ago.

“That still doesn’t explain why you’re wandering into war zones alone.” Geralt said sternly. “Information won’t net you a payday if you’re too dead to sell it.”

“Oh, I’m not alone!” Feliks said brightly, then hesitated with a sheepish smile. “Or at least I wasn’t until yesterday. I’ve been traveling with Wit of Drobiazg again, but she said all the cat witchers are being called back home to the caravan until they can tell which way the war’s going to blow. You know how the cats are with their assassination contracts, want to make sure they’re getting hired by the winning side. Are you heading back to your keep too? I imagine any witcher will be glad to hole up for the next while, probably won’t be many contracts other than necrophages for a long while.”

Geralt jolted as a puzzle piece clicked into place in his memory.

Wit of Drobiazg, who shared the same last name as the late spymaster of Cintra.

Wit of Drobiazg, the cat witcher who was infamous for her unusually strong Igni casting.

Geralt had scooped Wit out of a disastrous contract-gone-wrong decades ago, back when she’d practically still been a kitten, making her one of the rare cat witchers Geralt ever risked hanging around the occasional times their paths had crossed over the years. She might like him for saving her life, but it didn’t change the fact that hanging around a cat always felt a bit like storing a bomb with a lit fuse in your pack.

But Feliks had never seemed to mind in the slightest. The two forces of chaos had taken a liking to each other after Geralt had accidentally introduced them a few years back, during a particularly trying fortnight when the three of them had been trapped in the same town together.

“You two travel together often don’t you? Has Wit ever told you about her family?” Geralt asked, latching onto his epiphany before it had the chance to slip away. “Does she remember anything from before her trials?”

“I...maybe? She’s mentioned them a few times I suppose. Why?” Feliks said, looking thoroughly confused by the abrupt change in topic.

“Did she keep her family name after she was given up or did she just choose it herself?” Geralt asked.

“I think it was her family name?” Feliks said, squinting and scratching his head. “She wasn’t too young when she was taken by the cats I think, she could have remembered it when it came to taking her witcher name. You’d have to ask her to be sure though, she doesn’t like talking about her childhood too much. I mean, you know how it is with witchers. Bit of a sore subject for you lot isn’t it?”

“Hmmm.” Geralt grunted.

He knew he should probably drop it--gods knew he already had enough on his plate to worry about with getting Ciri and the others to safety--but he never had been good at letting mysteries alone once he’d gotten started thinking about them. Doubly so if he found a lead.

“Do you know where the caravan is traveling? Where I can find them?” Geralt asked.

He’d never dare tracking down the cat witchers’ caravan uninvited...but perhaps a message with some carefully phrased questions could be sent instead?

“Of course not.” Feliks said with an easy smile.

Geralt sighed, pulling out his coin purse. “Alright, how much is that information going to cost me?”

“Sorry Geralt, not for sale.” Feliks said with a good-natured shrug. “Friends and family discount means I don’t sell information on family and friends where it’s not wanted.”

“Even if I’m a friend too?” Geralt asked, tipping an amount of money into his hand, letting the coins glint temptingly. “I’m a friend asking a friend about a mutual friend.”

Feliks only chuckled. Geralt poured a few more coins but Feliks just shook his head. Geralt let a truly exorbitant amount of coin spill into his hand, far more than he’d ever dream of actually handing over, just to see what would happen.

But instead of a greedy spark lighting in the bandit’s eye, his smile faded and he frowned, looking up at Geralt.

“Geralt, is something wrong?” Feliks asked. “Why do you need to find the caravan so badly?”

Geralt sighed, tipping the coin back into his purse and tucking it away. “No, no, it’s fine. I’ve just been meaning to ask her something, then I was curious to see if you could be budged. My apologies if it came off as insulting.”

“If you’d asked me anything else I’d gladly have taken your coin, but...” Feliks grimaced. “You don’t make it very far in my line of business if you don’t know what’s worth more than money.”

“Perhaps I can pay you for some other information then.” Geralt said. If Feliks was dealing in information then he would have heard if soldiers were searching for a certain ashen-haired princess. “Jaskier and I are trying to get to the Hertch mountains as quickly as we can, have you heard of anything that could get in our way?”

“Now that I can help you with.” Feliks said, his smile returning. “There’s plenty of-”

“Geralt?”

Geralt tensed, looking up to see Ciri tromping through the brush toward them, rubbing her eyes. He sighed silently. He should have dragged Feliks farther into the woods, he hadn’t wanted the bandit to see her, but there was nothing he could do about it now.

“I woke up and you were gone.” Ciri said, reaching him and sleepily burying her face against Geralt’s side, her hood falling to reveal her snowy blonde hair before he could catch it.

Geralt looked up warily just in time to see Feliks’ eyes widen.

He knew.

Geralt sent him the iciest warning look he could manage.

“This is Fiona.” Geralt said, every syllable carefully measured and loaded with unspoken meaning as he stared Feliks down. “My daughter. We’re traveling to safety away from the war.”

“Your daughter.” Feliks repeated, looking like he was barely managing not to trip over a whirlwind of thoughts inside his head. He blinked, pulling on a smile. “So you and Jaskier adopted then, how lovely! I’m sure you’re all very lucky to have each other.”

Geralt watched Feliks rub nervously at the edge of his eyepatch, biting his lip as he looked at Ciri with concern.

“Are you sure that...?” Feliks started, but his voice trailed off.

He scratched the back of his head, looking like he was fighting back a grimace as he looked up at Geralt. When he spoke again his voice was hushed and strained. “You really shouldn’t be here with her Geralt, not in a camp like this, there’s too many eyes around who will sell you out for their next meal.”

“We’ve been traveling away from roads for days.” Geralt said, fatigue creeping into his voice now. “We needed a chance to get more supplies and to find out what’s going on so we don’t run headlong into a trap or a military camp. This was our first chance.”

“Well you need to get out as quickly as you can.” Feliks said, his gaze deadly serious as he glanced around. “I’m not the only one here harvesting information to resell, and if the emperor knows she’s traveling with a witcher and a bard that’s going to be a wanted poster description so colorful that even the drunkest peasant can remember it. A princess, a witcher and a bard, it sounds like the beginning of a bad joke.”

“And a druid.” Geralt sighed, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

“And a druid?” Feliks said, shaking his head with a bemused smile that managed to stick for at least a second before dropping away again. “Well then, here’s the information you asked for. Stay away from roads and towns, if you need to get supplies only send the druid or Jaskier to get them since you and the girl will be the most easily recognized. You’re ahead of the armies for now but only barely, and the longer you travel the more refugees there will be competing for resources, so try to move as fast as you can to stay ahead of them.

“Most large bridges are already locking down and demanding inflated tolls, so avoid those whenever you can and get across the river another way. You’ll also start seeing towns and villages who have preemptively sided with the emperor to avoid being ransacked too and they’ll have notices looking for the princess posted before you’ve even arrived, so beware. Why the emperor wants her so badly is anyone’s guess, but he’s already doing ugly things to try and get her.”

“Thank you Feliks, we’ll do our best to follow your advice.” Geralt said soberly. He looked down to brush hair from Ciri’s face. Her eyes were still closed, by now all too used to adults discussing the danger looming over her. “Fiona, go wake Jaskier and Mousesack, tell them we’re leaving as soon as we’re packed.” he said, careful to keep in the habit of using her false name.

Ciri blinked up at them both for another moment as she hesitated, but then went off back to the camp without a word.

“How...?” Feliks asked, watching her go.

“Safer if you don’t know.” Geralt said, getting an understanding nod from Feliks.

“Are you staying out here for long?” Geralt asked, pulling out a reasonable amount of coin and handing it to Feliks.

“Not without Wit.” Feliks said grimly, pocketing the coin. “Like you said, there’s no payday if you’re dead. No, I think you witchers have the right idea, I’ll probably hang around home until things have a chance to settle. Besides, Nilfgaard barely even leaves scraps behind to scavenge from once they’ve passed through. Just ash.”

“I wish you safe travels then.” Geralt said.

“To you as well.” Feliks paused for a moment. “Geralt, I can’t promise anything, but if I do have the chance to pass a message on to the caravan would you want Wit to know you’re looking for her and will be found at Kaer Morhen?”

Geralt hesitated. Vesimir had expressly forbidden cats from entering the keep as a rule, but he had made a reluctant exception for Lambert’s cat friend Aiden before. There was no guarantee that Wit would even get his message, let alone respond, never mind actually make the trek all the way out to Kaer Morhen. In all reality it would probably be years before he had the chance to find her again, meaning there was no real harm in giving implied permission for her to visit the keep.

“Yes, you can tell her.” Geralt said. “But only if it’s just her, I don’t need the entire caravan knowing. And nothing about...nothing about anything else, right?”

“Family and friends discount.” Feliks said with a crooked smile. “Your secrets are safe with me. Even if they’re the most inadvisable kind.” His smile dropped. “Now get moving, you’ll be lucky to get out of the camp before anyone else sees you or the girl.”

Geralt nodded, turning back to camp without another word and already grimly contemplating the decidedly town-less rest of the journey ahead of them.

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Feliks the bandit belongs to @ibrithir-was-here and is great friends with Wit of Drobiazg the Cat school witcher. 

You can see their character designs here: https://im-fairly-whitty.tumblr.com/post/614599362829533184/witcher-friends-d-wit-of-drobiazg-has-many