#scrolling through the notes of that post is heartwarming though- | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

xiaonesis · 3 years ago

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heart of the moon (Fem!Reader x Suna Rintarou) NSFW

If you are a minor, please do not read.

A/N: This was commissioned by @decemberbellz, who asked for a GWS!Suna NSFW fic. This was both challenging and fun to write as I tried to push myself more in smut writing :>

If you are interested in commissioning me, you can check my commission details here!

Pairing: Fox-folk!Suna Rintarou x Fem!Reader

Tags: 18+, NSFW, Fox-folk Suna, Magical Aphrodisiac, Ghosts We See Related, Alternate Characters, Established Relationship, Exhibitionism??, Water sex but not really because it’s not safe for you and Suna knows this too, Tooth-Rotting fluff

Summary

Why is it that he’s the one bare and naked as the day he was born yet you’re the one feeling vulnerable and exposed?

Suddenly, standing here in front of Suna, you felt silly.

Having gotten some rest and a chance to drop from the high that propelled you from your world to Hyquile, armed with jelly sticks, frisbee, camera and a burning desire to be with your boyfriend, you realize that perhaps you are jealous of the couples you see in your world. That they get to see each other without barriers and do all the coupley things so easily, without issue, without exploding jelly sticks or rocket frisbees- And perhaps, a part of you is insecure because of this.

You and Suna are separated not just by worlds but by entirely different cultures and lifestyles...some biological.

He’s a fox-folk. And you’re a human from another world.

WC: 9.6k

Note: You do not have to read Ghosts We See to understand this but it will give you a lot of background understanding/context! Link to GWS on my pinned post.

You are a normal girl.

A normal girl with aspirations for the future, and friends you love hanging out with on weekends, weaving through Shinjuku department stores during the day, bar hopping from Roppongi all the way to Ebisu in the night.

You have foods you hate, foods you can eat spoon after spoon before realizing you need to stop, and parents you love to disagree with.

School, studies, hobbies, dating. The standard fare.

You aren’t different from others your age...except the fact that you travel between alternate worlds when you go to sleep.

Regular college girl by day and dimension traveling, magical girl by night.

Other than that, yeah, you do normal everyday girl things: scrolling through social media looking at images of cats, and spending hours on TV selecting what to watch with your dinner only to end up re-watching a show you’ve seen for the 74th time and eating a cold dinner.

You cram and panic for exams, may or may not consume unhealthy amounts of caffeine, and dabble with your favorite makeup and polish.

You love shopping with friends, checking out the latest pancake shop on the block with them and their significant others, and spending sunny Sundays at the park with single friends, coupled friends, a frisbee and cheap Family Mart drinks.

And then you would look, as those in your social circle take cute selfies with their partners, and see the very same picture posted online later, with a heartwarming caption. You will click ‘Like’ and smile something bittersweet

You would glimpse strangers share an innocent, sometimes not so innocent, kiss at the corner of the bar, watch as they drunkenly support each other in their search for a lost shoe and way home together. Watch as the couple on the table next to yours feed each other macadamia-cream covered pancakes.

You’re not jealous though.

Not at all.

You have no reason to be.

Because you also have an amazing boyfriend who you absolutely adore.

He’s kind, smart, thoughtful, and considerate. He’s not very expressive but what he does not share in words he shows with his actions. And you will never change him or have him any other way.

Not to mention devastatingly handsome with one of the most beautiful pairs of eyes- like jade dipped in golden light- that you have ever seen. By the Gods, you love his eyes.

They are incredibly visually striking, sharp, and distinctive, and you can go on and on about his eyes for hours if anyone offers to listen.

Ginjima made the mistake once. He regrets it to this day.

Yes, everything is as normal as it can get for you and you have an amazing boyfriend to boot.

Life is great.

Except that you live in separate worlds from your boyfriend.

No, not separate worlds as if you’re living in different countries and overcoming a long-distance relationship together.

As in literal separate worlds.

Alternate dimensions.

Actually, is he even your boyfriend?

Well, you know that you are together with him, without a doubt. Have been for a little while.

But do the fox-folks even use the term boyfriend?

Do fox-folks have girlfriends and boyfriends, or even perceive relationships the same way as you do in your world? Or them with the rest of Hyquile?

Didn’t they couple for the sake of procreation, only to leave with their offspring after and abandoning their human uhh...mates? Significant other?

Did it even matter?

Such questions are the norm for you in the young relationship you share with one Suna Rintarou.

Semantics in a relationship with a fox-folk aside, the whole and only issue you have in your relationship with him is that you do not get to spend nearly enough time with your boyfriend as much as you’d like! At least, not in the manner you want to either.

You can’t hold his hand as you walk down the school hallways, or peck him on the cheek when you whizz by his desk. There’s no strolling under the lights down Omotesando Hills or sharing in macadamia-cream covered pancakes. No taking purikuras together in neon pink booths or playing frisbee.

(The one time you two did partake in throwing anything together involved magically charged talismans that exploded on contact!)

You can’t-...you can’t even share a chuupet stick with him after lunch, bentos scattered between you!

No.

Instead, time spent with your fox-folk boyfriend often involved politics and sprinkles of explosive magic. From watching him spar with Aran and the twins, followed by meditating sessions with Kita, to ensuring the twins are kept under control, all the way to attending political meetings with Kuroo and the others, there are numerous people that require Suna’s presence. Outrageous, considering you’re supposed to be his girlfriend.

And if it isn’t Suna that is caught up and required by someone else, it is you that is needed elsewhere.

It often feels like your relationship with Suna is shared with the world; not a private affair that only you two are privy to.

You’re not angry about that though.

He’s one of Inarizaki’s best tacticians. His insight is needed by the fox-folks and even Kuroo and the others will not turn down any opportunity to have him join them at their council meetings.

At the same time, your position makes you critical to resolving one of the largest threats Hyquile has ever faced.

You are both in demand. Busy.

You’re not angry.

But you are upset and extremely frustrated.

Is it so terrible that you desire some quality time with your boyfriend? (or whatever the proper term fox-folks prefer is)

Is it horrible of you to want to be selfish, to want him for yourself for just a moment, amidst everything that is going on in their world?

No, you do not think it is.

It is reasonable for you to feel this way. Your emotions are valid.

Which is why you are determined to spend some quality time with your boyfriend the next time you are in Hyquile, one way or another.

So what if you can’t take purikura pictures with him? You can just bring a polaroid camera with you!

Chuupet stick? You can bring that too.

Frisbee? You can also bring that.

Pancakes?

You’re sure you can make them! Bet Frosty Osamu will appreciate the recipe too!

...Okay, maybe you do feel a little jealous of all the couples you see in your world. That you can’t do the same things with Suna stung. A teeny bit but sting it does.

They say love stings and they are right.

So now here you are, circling the fox village in search of Suna, with a bundle of food and a packet of chuupet sticks in your arms. You figure that if his volleyball athlete alternate likes them, he might too. Hopefully.

In any case, you were hoping to have lunch with him for that coveted quality time you are desiring but never did it occur to you that searching for a fox-folk, known for their stealth and elusivity, in their own habitat would be this hard. It doesn’t help that Thoughtful Suna is additionally more evasive compared to his brethren, often preferring to be alone…

You like to think that has changed since you came along.

“Oi, what’re ya’ doin’?”

A figure calls you from the roof of a nearby building. You immediately recognize the voice as that of Atsumu and if he’s nearby, then that means-

“Onigiri?”

“Shit! ” You scream, jumping in surprise when Osamu spoke over your shoulder from nowhere, sending the items in your hold flying.

Quick hands grab them from the air before you can recover, and Osamu inspects the neatly wrapped bundle and mysterious colored sticks curiously.

“Don’t scare me like that!” You whirl around to face him angrily. He’s made you age ten years at least with that fright!

“It’s yer own damn fault for not being spatially aware,” Atsumu drawls. He drops down from the rooftop and makes his way over.

Osamu ignores you and sniffs the bundle.

“Onigiri. With eggs and tuna,” he says. There is a little twinkle in his usually blank eyes that makes your nose scrunch.

“What’s this?” Atsumu grabs the bag of chuupet sticks from his brother and rips it open without so much as asking for your permission. It reminds you of ‘Tsumu, both in manner and the vexation it rouses in you.

“Hey! That’s not for you!” You make a grab for the pack but who are you kidding, trying to take something from a slippery fox-folk? You can’t even get anything back from ‘Tsumu in your world without some underhanded trick.

Suddenly, there’s a splash of color like fireworks and bits of sticky, cold jelly drizzles onto the both of you. A red blob splats onto your cheek, leaving a trail as it slides down your chin.

You stare at the ruined pack of chuupet sticks in Atsumu’s hands.

Atsumu blinks at the sticky mess in his hand, mouth hanging loosely in an ‘o’ shape.

“Oops.”

“ Oops? Why’d you do that for?!” You groan, ripping the bag from him to see if there was even one stick left intact. Nope, they’re all ruined.

“It was an accident! I didn’t know they were squishy! Ya’ should have said somethin’!” Atsumu throws his hands up like it’s your fault that he squeezed the jelly sticks too hard. “I’m too strong, okay?!”

Too strong-

You take a deep breath.

This is fine.

It’s fine.

The twins of Hyquile are destructive and extremely curious by nature. You should have foreseen that alien jelly sticks from another world would have turned into bombs in one of their hands.

You can always bring more next time for Suna and there’s still the onigiris you made.

Flicking remnants of jelly off your hands, purposefully splattering some onto Atsumu who protested, you turn to retrieve your bundle from Osamu only to stop in horror at the sight of him eating what was supposed to be yours and Suna’s lunch.

Osamu pauses mid-bite, staring up at you from the ground where he has settled with his stolen food. Your food. That you made for Suna. Specifically.

He shrugs carelessly at your stricken expression.

“I was hungry.” Chomp.

“That’s not for you either!!”

He pauses again.

“Oh...is it for Suna?”

“Of course it’s for Suna!”

Osamu’s brow scrunch in what you thought is remorse but when he swallows the entire onigiri whole moments later, with no hesitation whatsoever, you can only blame yourself for giving him the benefit of the doubt.

“I was already halfway through it.”

‘Ahhhh-!!!’

A soundless scream signals your stomping departure.

It’s fine!

You have other things thought out in case something like this happened anyways!...Well, you meant for all of it to work without a hitch. You certainly didn’t have the forethought to see that chuupet sticks can be detonated via a hand crush.

This highway robbery of lunch by the twins is just a contingency plan.

Yeah, that’s it.

A contingency plan.

The real plan is to spend a nice afternoon by the riverside playing frisbee with Suna.

So now here you are, yet again, looking for Suna, this time with a frisbee in your hand.

Curious eyes, young and old follow your bounding figure and the yellow disk swinging wildly in arcs at your side.

Guess frisbee isn’t a thing here in the Inarizaki House territory...perhaps in Hyquile too. You’re sure the Johzenji dog tribe would love to hear about it though. Maybe you’ll give one to Terushima the next time you see him.

Just where is Suna anyways? Jeez, he must be the hardest fox-folk to track in existence.

You spot Aran and Akagi up ahead, on their rounds inspecting the integrity of the illusion protecting the village perimeters.

And if you can see any fox-folks, they can see you too.

They make their way over to you, wordlessly letting you know they’ve seen you long before you spotted them.

“What are ya’ doin’ all the way over here?” Akagi asks when he’s close enough.

“Well, I’m looking for Suna. Have either of you seen him?” You ask hopefully.

“He should be with Lord Kita at the lake hall-” Aran tells you.

“I think he’s out on patrol with Ginjima right now-” Akagi says at the same time as Aran.

The two look at each other, both silently questioning the other.

Well, there goes this lead.

“It’s alright, I’ll just keep looking,” you sigh, fingers rapping loudly on the frisbee.

“What’s that?” Akagi squints at the disk curiously.

Aran’s head tilts in intrigue. “Is that a weapon of sorts from your world?”

“ Pfft- this? A weapon? Oh no, we play this as a pastime in my world!” You muffle your laughter, not wanting to tease them for something out of their control. With the state of their world and history, they probably had no time for frisbees anyways…

“I was planning on showing it to Suna but do you guys want to give it a try?”

A few minutes later…

You stare up into the great blue sky as your frisbee, with your name scrawled haphazardly on the back in black marker, turns into nothing but a speck in the distance.

“Aran...you were supposed to throw it just enough that Akagi can’t catch it.”

The bear-folk looks at Akagi on the other end of the field. Akagi has a hand up to shield his eyes from the sun as he squints vainly into the sky, in search of a yellow disk that isn’t the sun.

“Yeah...I don’t think we’ll be findin’ that anytime soon,” Akagi shakes his head.

Aran looks back down at you and you swear there’s a triumphant shine in his eye.

“I win.”

That evening, laying on your side in Suna’s bed, you heave a long, tired sigh.

So much for quality time. Today was an entire bust.

The lunch you made for you and Suna to share was hijacked and detonated, your one frisbee was thrown to eternity by Aran, and the polaroid camera you brought is out of battery.

And you haven’t even seen Suna all day, not once!

Turns out both Aran and Akagi were wrong, and Suna was actually returning from an assignment Kita sent him on today.

You can only console yourself with the fact that he’ll be home tonight, and thought maybe you can surprise him with a nice dinner but…

Today has been downright exhausting!- and you’re just so tired and frustrated that nothing went the way you wanted it to.

You sniff and rub your nose, curling tighter into Suna’s blankets. Suna’s familiar scent, of woodlands and silver grass, engulfs you and you close your eyes.

A nap will do wonders right now…

When you wake, inky blue has dipped the sky, and a pillar of silver light cascades onto the land.

A full moon.

It’s late and Suna should have been back by now.

You whip around to check the other side of the empty bed. The room is dark and the house is silent, yet you spot the leather pouch containing his tools that Suna always carries on his person. Which suggests that he’s been home at some point.

Rubbing off the lingering imprisonment of sleep in your eyes, you make your way downstairs in time to spot the front doors to the house slowly closing and clicking into place.

Was that Suna?

Why didn’t he wake you?

Tiptoeing to the door, you open it to poke your head out with a strained smile. No need to worry Suna just because you had a terrible day. He must be extremely tired too after his trip-

You frown at the low steps that led into Suna’s home.

It isn’t uncommon to find Suna sitting on the steps to moon gaze and work on his talismans, which was the sight you had been expecting when you came out to find him.

You look around, eyes squinting into the village and the surrounding forests nearby. With the help of the moon, you are able to spot a figure walking down one of the dirt paths that led into the forest. A dim ball of silverlight glows in their hand, illuminating their way as they begin to disappear into the dark.

You recognize that back and light! It’s Suna but where could he be going at this time of the night?

If Suna wanted you to come along to wherever he is headed, he would have woken you up. That he did not do that meant he wanted to be alone...

It didn’t take you more than a second to decide to follow him, curiosity getting the best of you.

He’s an adult, and more than capable of taking care of himself but can anybody really blame you for being worried (and exceedingly curious) about your boyfriend, venturing into the night alone?

Like a true creature of the silent night, you stalk after the dot of silver through the shadows and trees, zigzagging from trunk to trunk whilst keeping a safe distance to avoid detection by your currently unaware boyfriend.

cruuunch

...Well, hopefully he didn’t catch that (unlikely but a girl can hope).

The silver dot disappears and you quicken your pace, leaves crunching softly under you. Getting lost in the fox-folk’s forest is the last thing you want to add to your already terrible day.

When the thicket opens up, a lake spreads out before your eyes. Trees circle the area, shielding the lake from unwanted eyes; rocks dotted along its sides, their surfaces smooth from rain and lapping waves. The water glimmers with a veil of stars, bestowed upon it by the moon and it’s ethereal light.

The lake isn’t large, much smaller compared to the lake lying at the bottom of Inarizaki’s sacred waterfall, but its water is clear, pristine, and free of evil taint.

Ducking behind a tree, you watch Suna standing motionlessly at the edge, his face turned up towards starlit skies and the moon.

Unconsciously, your head rests against the trunk as you watch him and you cannot help the tiny smile that lifts your lips.

You always knew that he found peace, solitude, in moonlit nights but rarely do you ever glimpse him in his space, alone and serene. He’s not hard at work replenishing his weapons; his hands still and free of tools.

Suna looks so peaceful, basking in the moonlight...

He looks mystical, even, with silver crowning his hair and sleeves swaying in night winds.

You sigh, lovesick and full of wonder at how lucky you are to have him. Yet, it bothers you to feel this division between you and him that stretches beyond dimensional borders...

You are broken out of your reverie when Suna moves and begins to strip.

O-Oh-!?

His obi, an alluring shade of chartreuse the color of his eyes, pools by his feet followed by layers of his clothes sliding off skin and muscle. Your mouth fell open, prompting you to slap a hand over it to quell the squeak of surprise that threatens to burst forth.

Oh, uhh is this-?

You should...probably leave him...to his privacy. Wow, your face feels hot.

Yeah, you need to go. You don’t wanna...you don’t want to spy on your boyfriend like this.

He’s going to take a bath. In the lake. You wanted quality time not to invade his private time. And bath time is a private time for most people. This makes you feel like a pervert too, leering at him from the cover of trees. So you should really goooo- damn, the muscles on his back are rippling.

Okay, he’s going into the water. Man, you really want to be lake water right now-

No, you’re going to go. You need to stop looking and just go.

It’s not like you’ve never seen him naked before. It’s nothing new but spirits, the moonlight hits different on his skin-

“I know you’re there.”

You freeze.

“Did you really think I wouldn’t notice you?”

The sound of splashing water reaches your ear and you close your eyes, mentally berating yourself.

Right, he’s a fox-folk, master of stealth and illusions and all. Of course you never stood a chance.

You peek back around the tree to find Suna with his back to you, casually splashing water onto his face, not in the least bit bothered that you were spying on him. Well, attempted to anyway. He probably knew you had been following him the moment you stepped out of his house.

“S-Sorry...I didn’t know you were coming here to-” your eyes shift down to where the water surface rims his hips, “-b-bath!” You tear your eyes away.

Suna dunks his head into the water and straightens right back up, spraying arcs of silver beads into the air.

It’s not fair how his presence turns the entire area into a shampoo commercial set.

Turning his body to the side, enough to put you in his view and his bare chest in yours- ahem - Suna tilts his head questioningly at you.

“How long do you plan on standing there?”

“O-Oh, r-right. I’ll just go-”

He shakes his head. “Come over here.”

“Oh. Uhh-” you hesitate, body wavering left and right between him and the path home until your feet make the decision for you and carry you towards him.

Stopping a little ways from where his clothes lay in a pile, you try to look everywhere but at his glistening muscular body and shapely butt-

Suna resumes washing his body with the cold water but keeps striking eyes on you. “I heard from the others that you were looking for me today. What is it?”

“I-It was nothing…”

“Was it now?” He hums. “I heard that you were quite upset with the twins. And there was something about a lost...what was it, frisbee?”

It feels like he’s teasing you with the slow way he’s running his hand down his neck, rivulets of water dribbling down his throat and elbow.

Shitty bastard. He knows you’re flustered; you know he knows, and yet he’s continuing on with his business oh-so-casually!

You cross your arms, throwing your face to the side with an annoyed pout. “Yeah, Aran threw it to infinity and the twins ruined all the food I prepared for-” you grumble to a stop.

“For?” Suna prods, sinking into the water up to his neck.

You purse your lips, unwilling to say the words; your feet begin to unconsciously kick the grass, scattering loose soil and blades.

Why is it that he’s the one bare and naked as the day he was born yet you’re the one feeling vulnerable and exposed?

Suddenly, standing here in front of Suna, you felt silly.

That they get to see each other without barriers and do all the coupley things so easily, without issue, without exploding jelly sticks or rocket frisbees-

And perhaps, a part of you is insecure because of this.

You and Suna are separated not just by worlds but by entirely different cultures and lifestyles...some biological.

He’s a fox-folk. And you’re a human from another world.

On top of that, there’s everything else going on with the Rot…

Quality time should be the least of your worries and the last of his. Doubt culminates into your fingers, clenching into uncertainty.

How...long can this even last?

And Suna, there’s still so much about him that remains a mystery to you. His past, his thoughts…it isn’t that he keeps them from you intentionally. But he’s always been a private person, and you never want to potentially intrude on more than he allows you to.

This small gap in your communion feels immense, infinite, alongside everything else.

The soft calling of your name drags you back into the present, away from the spiral of insecurity hidden behind a flimsy facade of ‘everything’s fine,’ and into Suna’s eyes. They were piercing even with the short distance inbetween you.

“What is it?” “It’s nothing.”

He frowns. “I don’t think it is.”

“Well, you know everything really well, don’t you?”

You roll your eyes before you can stop it, roiling emotions getting the best of you. You’re being unfair and petty, taking out your frustrations on him. You know you are but you can’t help it.

It’s not fine and it’s just been such a shitty day-! And-...you’re so frustrated! You had actually been looking forward to today but the twins happened, and then the thing with your frisbee happened, and then the camera battery-

“Breathe.”

Cool hands touch your neck, one gliding up to brush your hair behind your ear. With his thumb, Suna rubs a gentle streak across your temple and you feel yourself relax, his touch the water that douses your crackling fire. Whether subconsciously or by his command, you did take a deep breath, allowing it to leave you in one slow puff.

Suna stands before you with naught but his robe pulled loosely over him and moonlight crowning him with a silver halo. It’s as if the celestial light follows him, like a shadow.

Ironic as that may be but that is what you thought at this moment. Since learning about his magic, when you see the moon, you think of Suna.

“Did you use your magic on me?” you peer up at him, albeit guiltily.

He shook his head, expression blank but there is a softness to his brows and lips that will never be present in front of the others.

“I did not have to.”

“...sorry. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I...didn’t have a good day,” you sigh, head falling forward into his damp chest.

“Hm. Tell me about it?”

So with slow, uncertain words, you told Suna about what you had planned for you and him, and what happened to all of those plans; told him about the couples you see every day at school, when you’re outside, on the way home, on social media.

Did he think you were clingy, coveting for his attention and time in such a frivolous manner, when there are more important matters?

No matter what powers you hold or what others may call you- savior or otherwise...

At the end of the day, you are just a normal girl.

“...I just wanted to spend more time with you,” you finally admit with a long sigh, shoulders slumping.

Suna presses a kiss to the top of your head and droplets fall from the ends of his hair onto you, gliding down your shoulders.

“You could have talked to me,” he mumbles.

When he wraps long arms around you, water seeps through your clothes, sticking to your skin. You shiver, but you don’t feel cold; not in his arms.

“I know. It’s just...it feels silly, you know? You’re so busy, and there are more important things happening that I did not want to bother you with something so trivial,” you say, face buried and voice muffled in his chest.

“Hey,” he gently separates you from him, tilting your head up towards him with a hand. “You’re important too. And not just because of your magic.”

Suna searches your eyes and is perturbed by the doubt and insecurity he finds within them.

He’s not one for superfluity, preferring to say and do only what is necessary, regardless of how others may perceive him. Relationships are difficult and socialization has never been a priority for him, much less love. Suna has always been solitary, even amongst the fox-folks.

But with you, through you, he’s learning what it means to be with someone, to care for them in a capacity that is completely different from the esteem he holds for Kita and begrudgingly, the others he calls brethren too, Miya twins included.

He’s always thought there is no room for doubt in how he feels for you, but perhaps things aren’t as simple as he thinks. Sometimes, even he forgets that you aren’t like them, obvious factors aside.

Beyond being a human and a fox-folk...the places from which you both came and grew up are worlds apart.

None of that matters to him though. What matters most to him is-

“You’re important to me.”

Suna’s way with words is blunt, simple, lacking any of the poetic romance that perfuses media and adorns the fantasies of young, silly romantics such as yourself.

Nevertheless, it is this very simplicity that holds the entire weight of his sincerity, his honesty. Absent of decorated words, Suna means what he says with his entire being.

No more, no less.

“I should have said it more often. I did not know my reassurances would have assuaged your doubts,” he murmurs, brows furrowing in thought. You recognize the pinch in his brow and the pursing of his lip with a tiny downward curve as one of unfamiliarity, appearing when Suna finds himself encountering an unknown foe.

He is not used to this, expressing words of affirmation.

Something blue and bitter squeezes your heart at this realization. Knowing what you do of his history…

You touch his cheek and he leans into the touch ever so imperceptibly. Caressing the planes of his cheek, you shake your head in apology. “No, I should not have let myself fixate on things so trivial as photos and picnics.”

“Oh? Are you saying you rather not spend time with me now?” He leans away from your touch, one brow raised in question.

“No!” You laugh, body chasing after him when he steps away from you in jest.

Your little chase takes you to the edge of the lake where the moon divides it with its sterling light, scattering across still waters and illuminating it in a resplendent glow.

This time, it is you who wraps your arms tightly around him, giggling and unwilling to let him go. It warms your heart when Suna makes small jokes and teases such as this. It is a sign of his trust and ease in your presence.

(It reminds you of the athlete)

Pressing your cheeks to him, you sigh in content, lightly nuzzling him. In the sleeping forest, you can hear the beautiful beating of his heart.

“Of course I want to spend time with you,” you say, laughter fading into a simper as you look up at him.

In your eyes are reflected the stars, and in their depths, Suna sees an ocean of love for him and he wonders how lucky he is, that you give it all to him so freely in spite of himself.

And in Suna’s eyes, you see the wonder with which he gazes at you, and you think that you truly are lucky, despite all odds. You were silly to have been swayed by the people around you and established notions of relationships.

“You are probably the only person in the world who would say that,” Suna murmurs, a hint of amused irony tugging at his lips. He’s not the village loner only by choice.

“If you let them, I'm pretty sure the twins wouldn’t leave you alone,” you giggle, leaning up on your toes.

His nose wrinkles in distaste.

“I rather they didn’t.”

You peck his lips with a smile so large, your cheeks began to hurt. Spending time with Suna like this, it feels like the two of you were mere ordinary folks, maybe even regular college students stealing kisses in hallway corners.

Time isn’t against you and providence isn’t closing in.

Suna returns your kiss with his own, and you tighten your arms around him in response. Wind rustles the trees and nips at your skin but Suna’s natural body heat warms you through your clothes, seeping in.

A hand drags down your back, leaving a heated trail that has you humming into the kiss in contentment. You want to stay with him like this forever.

Suna pulls you forward with his lips still connected to yours, causing you to teeter on your feet in surprise at the sudden movement. When you feel the ground gently slope and your sandal-clad feet touch damp earth, you break the kiss and dig your heels into the grass.

“Nuh-uh.”

“I’m still in need of a bath since someone interrupted me. Didn’t you say you wanted to spend time with me?” Suna blandly responds, hardly batting an eye as he turns and begins to disrobe.

Even when you had been peeking at him from a distance, Suna’s sculpted body was not lost on you but up close, you couldn’t help but nervously admire his body, despite having felt them underneath your very palms.

Honed and trained over the years, his figure is lithe, tightly packed with a subtle strength that runs along his arms and down his broad back. Veins distinctly trail from the back of his hands, and scars -some light, others darker- mark parts of his skin.

They are the lingering ghosts from his past, old pages from unspoken tales.

In your world, scars are rarely considered beautiful.

But you think they’re wrong.

“Well, yes but this wasn’t-” you avert your eyes, face heating when you were treated to a full view of his bare back.

“It’s not like you haven’t seen me naked before,” he deadpans at your embarrassment.

“Yeah but this is-” your eyes dart around at the looming trees, “- we’re in public. ”

You whisper your last words, so low that if Suna wasn’t a fox-folk, he wouldn’t have caught it.

He rolls his eyes at your paranoia, a soft chuckle rumbling from him that rings clear in the quiet night.

“We’re in a forest.”

“Near your village.”

“At night.”

“That’s filled with stealthy fox-folks. Like the twins.”

A short laugh escapes him at your paranoia and he shakes his head in exasperation. Stepping into the water, he extends a hand back towards you. A rare and almost haughty smirk graces his lips.

“I assure you, if someone is spying on us, I will know.”

You flush at the reminder of your horrible espionage attempt. Guess there goes your career as a spy.

“Trust me.”

Trust him, huh?

It should be hard, trusting someone as private and barricaded as Suna. There are many things you do not yet know about him, the fog of mystery surrounding him never fully alleviating.

But you do.

It’s alarming, almost, how easily you trusted him, since the early days of your acquaintance.

You trust him.

With your body, your life.

Your heart.

Enchanted by two simple words akin to a spellbind, you pull at the sash wrapped neatly around your waist. They fall, followed by your underclothes.

Night air nips at your skin as you step out from the pool at your feet and approach Suna, vulnerable as the day you were born. You take his hand and Suna leads you into the lake.

Shivering as the cold water rises to your waist, you couldn’t help but mutter to yourself, “I’ve never gone skinny-dipping before.”

Suna shoots you a confused look which quickly morphs into amusement when you tense and freeze at the cold.

“W-Why would you c-choose to bathe in the lake at night?” you chatter, vainly attempting to shake the cold off.

“Privacy,” he plainly replies. “Here.”

He tugs you close easily, the water floating you to him effortlessly as your toes lift from the bottom. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you allow Suna to keep you afloat. You trust him not to dunk you under or let you drown.

It didn’t take long for your body to acclimatize, Suna rubbing gentle circles into your back rejuvenating you from the long day. You nuzzle the underside of his neck affectionately.

“Someone’s needy today,” he smiles.

“I can’t help it. I missed you.”

He doesn’t say anything in response, but you know his answer when he kisses your forehead. You turn your face up so that his mouth falls on yours instead, the light drag of his lips down your skin and nose sending flutters to your chest.

Kisses with Suna always began soft and playful, gradually delving into a slow tempo, a dance where the world didn’t exist and it’s just the two of you.

His world, your world, fox-folk, humans- everything fades into darkness, leaving just you and the feel of him around you, your very own moon in the night.

The taste of his mouth, the spark of pain when he bites, the brush of your chest against his...everything feels heightened in this little forest bubble the two of you have claimed for tonight.

You didn’t need a prepared lunch or frisbee. You didn’t need anything other than Suna.

He keeps you close to him with one hand firmly on your hips and the other tangled in your hair but it wasn’t enough. So you wrap your legs around his waist, and he responds by shifting his arms to the underside of your thighs, both hands squeezing your flesh.

Water laps at your bodies, replaced by air as it recedes when Suna carries you back towards shore, all the while never allowing you a moment to breathe, lightly pulling at your bottom lip with his teeth whenever you so much as move away.

You didn’t want to anyways. The way he has you now is perfectly fine.

He sits you on a low boulder at the shallow ends, its surface smooth from weather and water. In this position, you are at the perfect height for him to kiss you endlessly.

A soft whine rose from you when he breaks away, leaning back with his finding their way back to your hips, keeping you in place.

Eyes that shine gold in moonlight roam down your bare body still wet from the lake, your legs parted on either side of him.

A little joke passes through his thoughts that he does not voice and he smirks to himself.

(he’s going to make something else wet too)

With the palpable way you feel his gaze, you couldn’t help but feel slightly self-conscious, face scrunching in embarrassment as your right leg begins to retract to cover yourself.

Suna stops you, a large hand grabbing your ankle. The other props him up when he leans in close, towering over you. Lips brush against the shell of your ear, and you shiver.

Warm breath ghosts your ear alongside the deep timbre of Suna’s voice. He faces you, eyes staring straight into yours with intensity

“Do you trust me?”

This time isn’t like any of the other times he’s asked you something similar.

One of Suna’s outstanding traits is his eyes- they are dull, despite possessing a sharp perception. They lack...energy.

Drained from a life of loss and hardship.

But now, there’s an impassioned heat to his gaze, bright and glowing with a force of quiet life that you’ve never seen before.

At the same time, you don’t know if the glow you are witnessing is a trick of the moonlight or his magic, welling.

Whichever it may be, you knew your answer immediately.

“Yes.”

Your voice is but a whisper, afraid that anything more will disrupt the vision right in front of you.

The way he’s looking at you has your heart beating loudly, gulping in both anticipation and nervousness when he speaks his next words.

“Then surrender yourself to me.”

You didn’t register your silent wispy ‘ okay,’ all of your attention taken by a foreign sensation that begins from your ankle which Suna still has wrapped in his hand. A tingling, almost ticklish, traveling up your leg.

His other hand traces to your waist, the underside of your breasts, to your neck before finally cupping your cheek and bringing you in for a kiss long-awaited.

Everywhere his hand touched, you can feel your body relaxing, falling into a docile peace- one found in early mornings in the arms of a lover, or in the silence of a mountain peak.

You know what’s happening. You’ve seen him do this a handful of times, but not on you.

It’s Suna’s magic, working its way into your body, seeping, taking slow control of it. Unlike the magic he uses on his enemies, this one is coaxing your body into relaxation, elevating your body and mind to a heightened state of sensitivity that feels every.minute.movement.

An aphrodisiac effect.

Everything feels magnified.

Right before you submit the last of your inhibitions to Suna, to the pleasure of his fingers dragging slowly, sensually, up your calf, the back of your knees, to your inner thighs- you glance up at the moon.

Eyes fluttering close when long fingers reach the apex of your thighs, you recall in a haze that Suna’s magic is strongest on moonlit nights, and it’s a full moon tonight.

With a shuddery breath, you fully surrender yourself to pleasure and him.

Suna took the eager sweep of your tongue against him as an additional signal for him to continue, despite your earlier consent. It’s in his nature to be careful, double checking and taking careful thought before undertaking anything; sex included.

He isn’t worried that his magic might have influenced your choice; it wasn’t enough to overtake anyone who did not allow it, much less you. He’s seen your will, witnessed your quiet fighting spirit countless times. You wouldn’t fall, not to this level of magic.

Him asking for your surrender is more for him rather than you; your unequivocal trust in him moved him, stirred a passion and longing for your touch, your intimacy.

Fox-folks are inherently different from humans in the end, even if they might share part of the same lineage. Copulation has always been largely a means of survival for them, not an expression of love. He’s never cared for it but with you...it’s different.

No, he still doesn’t want any offspring. Maybe someday, who knows. He certainly doesn’t in the present.

It’s different with you because he finds that he doesn’t mind your presence, seeks it out even on some days. And then there are some nights, like tonight, where he doesn’t want to let you go.

He pushes the thoughts out before he can think about the next moment you have to leave the village, or leave his world. Pushes them away with the same force he pulls you towards him, yanking you forward by your ankles. A yelp, less of surprise and more of arousal, is his reward.

There’s also the magic he’s working on you to blame for it but he can smell your arousal, pheromones permeating his sharp senses, and he’s barely done anything. He already finds it amusingly endearing how susceptible you are to him without his magic. And now, with his magic amplifying your senses, he wonders how much more…-

He gives you a taste test, teasingly running two fingers up your slit. Once. Twice.

You inhale sharply, eyes squeezing shut and arms shaking as you fight to keep yourself upright.

“T-This is-” you manage in between shaky breaths.

Suna smiles, bordering on a smirk as he continues teasing you. “How does it feel?”

He grazes his thumb across your clit and one of your arms all but gives out.

“I-It’s s-so...s-strong,” you pant, blinking up at him with dazed eyes, trying to keep your wits about you.

“Do you want me to stop?” He slides a finger in, beginning an excruciatingly slow pace and there goes your other arm.

Eyes rolling shut, you furiously shake your head, arms and legs already quivering with just this.

“You have to use your words, or I wouldn’t know.” The vehement way you’re shaking your head is definitely answer enough but Suna isn’t Suna without this additional layer of consideration.

“N-No. I don’t want you to...stop.”

Briefly, Suna wonders if he might have applied too much magic, especially since it is a full moon tonight but…

There you lay, completely vulnerable, bare, fragile; soft silver light sweeping your figure, damp hair curling on amorous skin glistening with clinging water and the beginnings of sweat despite the night. The slick of arousal was already sticking to your thighs, further spread by his fingers moving unhurriedly in and out of you.

Your eyes are clouded, lust, love, and yearning for him swirling within them. Your hips shift, bucking against his hand, silently begging for more.

He decides against withdrawing his magic.

You can take it.

You sigh with literal relief when he finally picks up the pace of his fingers, thumb now rubbing circles on your clit as he pushes you down completely onto the rock.

Your ankles dangle in the cold water but you hardly notice, not when Suna is tracing kisses down your neck and shoulders. He looks up at you, a mischievous glint in his eye as he continues kissing around your breasts, purposely avoiding the very place you want him to touch. Your leg kicks out reactively at your building frustration, water splashing onto his back.

“S-Suna!” You can’t be sure if you were chastising him or begging him at this point. Likely both. With a stronger propensity for the latter.

You feel rather than see him smirk on your skin, and he finally gives you what you want.

Taking a perk nipple into his mouth, he laves and sucks at it, all the while keeping his other hand working at your core, adding another finger in and curling them. Your lips part in a soundless gasp.

‘ Oh...fuck,’ is all you can coherently think.

You’re feeling everything at an intensity you never have before.

Every soft bite on supple flesh, every hard suck at your breasts, and every.single.flick of his tongue against your nipple has you keening, back arching up into his mouth for more, more, more.

Are you- are you whining? Is that you, panting and moaning wantonly, legs tightening and then slipping around his back, trying to futilely hold on?

Your hands are gripping onto him like a lifeline where your legs failed, grasping at his hair and curling around his shoulder- anything to keep you grounded from the potent sensations he’s lavishing on your breasts and-

Oh, wow, his fingers feel like fucking magic inside you. He’s literally fucking magic into you.

With just his fingers!

A third finger is added; Suna does not hesitate in delving them deep into you, all the way to his knuckles. His thumb presses with purpose down onto your clit, harshly.

At the same time, he bites down on your breast. Harshly.

Starbursts and starlights, you saw fireworks. At least, you swear you saw fireworks.

You come undone so quickly and so easily that you have half a mind to feel embarrassed but you don’t, your mind has already left your mortal body and this dimensional plane.

Did you scream his name? A loud and reverberating ‘Suna!’?

You can’t be sure, you can barely see anything as the entirety of your body shudders, hips shaking and lifting, pushing against Suna’s hand as your orgasm runs its course.

Suna detaches himself from your now swollen breast with an erotic ‘plop,’ fingers continuing to work gently into you. Leaning up to prop one arm by your head, he stares down at you with a raised brow, amusement shining in his eyes on an otherwise blank canvas.

“Did you just scream for God?”

Your eyes close, face heating another two notches. Does his magic work on emotions like embarrassment too?

“Technically, the fox-folks do not have a God-”

You yank him down by the back of his head, interrupting his teasing. He smiles into the kiss before breaking it just as quickly, causing your head to tilt in confusion.

There is a sly smirk that came and went so fast that you aren’t sure if you imagined it. You felt the same tingling from when all this started again, this time beginning from your core where Suna still has his fingers stuffed into you. Your breaths begin to turn erratic as you feel another wave of his magic travel up your body.

He lays a deceivingly tender kiss on your other breast, glowing eyes never once letting go of your gaze, enrapturing you.

He murmurs softly into the peak of your breast, lips brushing against the sensitive tips of your nipples.

“I’m not done with you yet.”

You find it absolutely unfair that Suna can use his magic in this manner.

He took you apart multiple times with such ease that you want to feel vexed at how effortlessly he has you writhing under him, back arching and falling against stone, fingers scratching at him and nothing.

You tried, you really did, to reach out to touch him and grab his cock; to bring even a quarter of this pleasurable torture he’s laying on you to him but you can hardly lift your arm to do anything other than biting down on it.

Not that he would let you anyways, for he all but pushed you back down the first time you tried.

You’re glad you’re in the forest away from the village now. With how frequently and loudly you’re crying out for him, you would have woken the entire Inarizaki village.

(And then there’s the other part of you that wondered, why didn’t he use this magic on you sooner??)

And- oh dear, oh wow- when you thought he’s finally going to give you a moment’s reprieve from his expert hands, his mouth takes their place, leaving behind a line of kisses from the valley of your breasts.

His fingers were magic but the first lap of his tongue- long, slow, hard- up your drenched slit, you were a goner.

“Hnnh-”

You bite your lip to quell your cry, hands, and thighs clenching at Suna’s lazy lapping of your folds. Like he did with his fingers, he took his sweet time, savoring both the taste of you and this moment.

The night is long, and time is all the two of you have.

You can’t tell if his magic is still taking effect on you at this point. It doesn’t matter because your body has long crossed the threshold of overstimulation and- oh.

Suna runs the flat of his tongue up your slit in one extensive stroke, finishing with his mouth attaching to your clit. He sucks at it as one would suck at fucking jelly sticks and- crap, your legs feel like jelly too. They quiver, thighs trembling as they instinctively raise and squeeze together.

Suna grabs your thighs and tugs you back in, eyes leisurely watching you come apart for him another time.

He stopped his magic some time ago. He knows you can’t tell the difference anymore, not with the abandoned way your body writhed for him.

Your head rolls side to side, chest rising and falling harshly at the overwhelming pleasure besetting you for the nth time that night.

Eyes peeling open, you are graced with the sight of Suna, mouth and chin glistening with your essences and you finally manage to piece together one coherent thought.

You want to kiss him.

So you do, rising to press yourself against him, arms wrapping tightly around his neck. Your legs part themselves to pull him to you by the waist, quite insistently.

It’s truly unfair how, even though you were the one lavished with all the attention tonight, you still want more whilst he’s still so composed; in control.

Still, you couldn’t help feeling triumphant that when he finally slid into you, the tip of his cock pressing deep, he released a strangled groan into your neck, fingers digging into the flesh of your thighs and sweat running down his back, muscles straining.

You weren’t given any more respite after that, not that you were spared much to begin with.

The entire time he focused on your pleasure, he ignored his own desires and needs, disregarding the almost painful swell of it in favor of you.

But just because Suna is now feeding, chasing, his own carnal wants, doesn’t mean he has forgotten yours as his hand finds its way between your bodies to rub at your clit.

You squeal, legs splashing the water, which prompts Suna to hook one of your legs on his arm, keeping you pliant for him.

Everything is still extremely sensitive from the relentless orgasms he brought on you prior, and there was nothing you can do to stop yourself from moaning, wailing, equally as relentless as the thrusts of his hips, into the night.

Your eye is clear, and so is your mind. The aphrodisiac effect of his magic has long faded.

The only sounds that fill the dark forest are rustling leaves, Suna’s soft grunts, your garbled cries, sloshing water, and the echoing slap of skin on skin.

The moon is the only witness to your deeds.

You can feel it again, a heady and hot buildup in your aching core, stomach, and limbs tightening into a coil, winding tighter and tighter with each sink of Suna into you.

Suna’s own breathing is ragged, the veins of his hand bulging with the strength he is gripping your thigh.

He feels you squeezing and clamping on him, knows that you’re very close, so he throws both legs over his shoulders and completely pins you down to the boulder with his body.

When it hits, it doesn't just hit.

It explodes, and you think you might have blacked out from the intensity of it if Suna’s mouth didn’t slam on yours, hot and unyielding as he twirls your tongues together to the waves of your orgasms.

Suna presses his forehead to yours, both your bodies slicked and sticky with sweat and other things. You breathe his name, again and again, against his lips.

Your eyes are full of love, lips in bliss. And his are colored in warmth, as he lays tender kisses onto your loving eyes.

He pulls you upright alongside him once your breathing has settled, sitting you on the edge of the boulder.

You take the chance to nuzzle his nose as he chuckles.

“I suppose we need another bath.”

Laying in the grass with your head on Suna’s chest, you enjoy the light of the descending moon. You had decided to spend the night outside moon gazing with Suna instead of returning to his home; a replacement of sorts, for the picnic you couldn’t have.

Fingers drawing mindless patterns into his chest from where his robe opens up, you ask the question that has held your curiosity and insecurities for a long time.

“Do the fox-folks use the term boyfriend?”

“Boyfriend?” Suna tilts his head down to look at you questioningly, one arm propped behind his head.

“Yeah like...well, in my world, we use the terms boyfriend and girlfriend to refer to the people with whom we are in a romantic relationship with,” you explain, already knowing the answer, what with you having to explain it. Guess the fox-folks don’t use it…

“No, we do not have such a term. The fox-folks do not perceive relationships the same way as humans do. You know of our biological relationship with humans,” he answers simply.

“Y-Yeah...you’re right. It was a stupid question,” you mumble, burying your face into the folds of his clothes.

Noticing the way you retreated, Suna props himself on one elbow and sits up, causing you to rise as well.

“Why do you ask?” His brows draw together in thought, wondering what it is that troubles you.

Your fingers fidget nervously with your clothes, the grass, your hair. Do you tell him about your worries regarding your...differences? Then you remembered how, earlier in the night, everything just felt so much easier and better if you were honest with him about your thoughts.

“It’s just...I keep thinking about how different we are…” you mumble, pulling at your sleeves as you spill every worry and insecurity you ever had about being a human in love with a fox-folk. And Suna listens quietly and without interruption, as you did so.

He didn’t say anything for a moment after you finished, and you begin to worry again if you might have upset him somehow or opened a can of worms you should not have-

Suna takes your hands, entwining your fingers together and lifting them up in between you.

“Do you see this?” he asks, nodding at your joined hands.

“Uhm...yes?”

“What do you see?” he prods you further and your face twists in confusion.

“Our hands. Joined together,” you answer.

He nods, then continues.

“Do you see any differences between them?”

Besides the sizes…

“...no.”

“We’re not so different then, are we?”

He places your hand back in your lap, only to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

“You can call me your boyfriend if you want, if that makes you happy. I want to be your ‘boyfriend.’ Partner, mate, soulmate. Whatever you want to call it, I don’t care.”

His thumb caresses your cheek, eyes gazing into yours.

“I just want you.”

Suna barely smiles when he says the words but even without one, even with his face set in its regular dull cast, you couldn’t stop the well of emotions in your heart.

You sniff rather inelegantly, rubbing your eyes furiously before the waterworks can start.

Boyfriend, different cultures, different worlds...it truly doesn’t matter in the end. Suna helped you realize that.

You truly...are lucky to have him.

Not as a boyfriend or whatever label that society deems as necessary to put you all in boxes.

Just him, as he is.

If you enjoyed this, please do spare a reblog and check out the main story, Ghosts We See <33

#haikyuu x reader #suna x reader #suna rintarou x reader #inarizaki x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #hq!! x reader #suna x reader smut #suna smut #haikyuu smut #inarizaki smut #suna rintarou smut #suna rintarou #hq smut #haikyuu!! smut #hq!! smut

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goldentsum · 4 years ago

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━ thirst post with idol! reader - spin-off

REQUEST: abt the idol reader thirst, imagine one day you read the thirst on vlive and react to it, and you're just "oh? OH" HAHAHHAA

🎕 asked by: nonnie 🎕

CHARACTERS: kuroo tetsurou, matsukawa issei, miya atsumu, and sakusa kiyoomi

GENRE: suggestive themes, comedy, fluff?

AUTHOR’S NOTE: i can’t with this scenes lmao! i had too much fun with this pft!

you were in vlive, watching the thousands of comments flash on the side of the screen. you ate some pineapple in your fruit salad as you tried to read some of the comments in your vlive, chuckling as you do so. there were a lot of funny and heartwarming comments.

[tetsulovesy.n]: (y/n)!! you’re so pretty! D: please step on me, queen :D

[isseiissei]: you always inspire me to start drawing, (y/n)! you’re just so beautiful, every moment with you is so picturesque

[tsumwannahit]: you’re so hot (y/n), it’s not fair

[omisparadise]: (y/n), you’re always so clean and lovely

you giggled at the last comment, you don’t really know what that means but hey, it sounds like a compliment! (fanbase’s name) are always so funny and seeing their comments makes your day

“isseiissei, is that how you pronounce it? aw, that’s so sweet of you! your words make me soft, love” you cooed sweetly, the soft light on your hotel room making you look angelic. meanwhile, the male who you replied to was screaming and panicking at the other side of the world.

“i want to browse through twitter because i love seeing the content you guys make,” you said, getting your phone at the table beside you and showing your clothes to the camera. a black spaghetti singlet with short shorts that stops on your mid-thigh. when you sat back down, you saw the comment section going wild.

you chuckled, confused, while you try to read some replies and leaned closer to the phone that’s recording your vlive. as you leaned in, your collarbones and neck were more prominent in that angle. your pretty face was closer than ever, your soft confused smile still intact.

[tsumwannahit]: AASDFJKJHGFDS--

[isseiissei]: wanna draw something right now :D

[tetsulovesy.n]: this would look great in a phone call edit

[omisparadise]: :)))

you saw the four usernames again and shook your head when you finally knew what was going on. you narrowed your eyes playfully at the camera and started scolding them.

“you guys are dirty, ya know. that’s naughtyyy~” you teased, wagging your finger with a small smirk

you saw the comment section going crazy again and giggled. you opened your secret twitter account on your phone and searched your name in the search bar. your eyes widened at what you saw, blushing a bit. you looked at the camera then to your phone again.

“you guys are really... creative”

━ kuroo ♡

kuroo really saw his life flashed before his eyes when you said his username in your vlive he was watching. he just froze and looked at you in horror when you scrolled through his page, chuckling in bewilderment.

you: these are--... um.. very creative

fuck! omg omg! this is by far the worse thing that happened to kuroo wtf! the embarrassment is too much to handle! he just wanna dig a hole and die!

at least you don’t know who he was.

you: [yn.makesme_hARD] said: “you guys like my edits a little too much but i can’t blame you, while making them I get hard myself… pLEASE LET ME HIT (Y/N)!!” um, you’re very creative sir-- you’re kinda cute too

did you hear that? it’s kuroo screaming at the top of his lungs. how can he forget that he did a (fanbase name) selca day on that account-!!

━ matsukawa ♡

issei was just watching your vlive, smiling softly at your cute actions as you try to interact with them, laying on his bed. when you replied to his comment, he really did scream. his heart was beating so loudly and a red blush almost covered his face.

when you said you were going to twitter to see the content, his mind went straight to his 18+ fanarts from his other art account. but he was rest-assured cus he remembered that he blocked you on that account like any 18+ creator.

you: [y/ns_daddydom] huh... that’s a nice username...

issei stopped smiling and sat up so fast that he was seeing black spots. he grasped his phone in alarm, gasping when you just described his latest fanart of you wearing a skimpy pink lingerie.

you: they draw really good though. i approve, um, mattsun-ssi~

mattsun watched the vlive in panic when you said his name, he signed all his fanart with his nickname and now you know him... he closed his phone and laid in bed, staring at his ceiling with a blank face.

mattsun: pls let me die now

━ atsumu ♡

tsumu was a cocky little shit who hides in his identity in a fan account so he usually just says what he thinks with no hesitation. when he watches your vlive, he likes commenting a lot. like a lot.

when you said you were going to twitter, he wasn’t really alarmed or scared because his fan account was not a big one and he just usually thirst tweets in that account.

you: you guys-- when you thirst tweet, ya’ll don’t tone it down huh. you guys go all out.

okay, he was a bit alarmed at that. but you won’t see his tweets, right?

you: this one has a lot of likes and retweets. [iwanna.raw.yn] said “(y/n) REALLY SAID DADDY LIKE IT WAS NOTHING?… brb gonna fix something and if you see my right arm getting beefy, lol we been knew. sigh i want to raw (y/n) so hard tf” okay then... daddy~

tsumu watched you giggle after saying that. he just short-circuited, a frozen and faltering smirk on his face as his eyes started wavering. he threw his phone in his bed, cupping his hands together and then hid his face, screeching.

osamu: tsumu! shut the fuck up!

atsumu: you shut up! i’m having a crisis here!

━ sakusa ♡

when watching your vlives, omi likes to imagine that it was just the two of you, video calling each other. his (fanbase name) heart is screaming.

sakusa watched you spill the tea and expose your fans about their thirst tweets and content and he was lowkey panicking. he grabbed his phone as he watched you on his laptop. he opened his account and went to delete any thirst tweet he made but it was too late.

you: you guys have really cREATIVE names! like this one, [mother.ynismykink]. (fanbase name) are funny

he felt a chill run down his spine when he heard his username, his eye twitching a bit. sakusa continued to watch you and listen to you say his most famous thirst tweet.

you: i don’t like being dirty, though~

sakusa grabbed his chest, feeling his rapid heart as he gaped at you. you teasingly pout at the camera, making goo-goo eyes. you almost looked like that emoji, 🥺, but with a pout and looking much cuter.

omiomi: i.. i don’t know if i’m lucky or not..

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anobscurename · 4 years ago

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ocean eyes – chris evans

previous part: PART XV — masterlist

concept: the three times chris comforted you, and the times you returned the favour. the slowest of slow burns, the angstiest of all angst. part sixteen of many.

pairing: chris evans x reader

word count: 3,8k

warnings: drinking, so much fluff, heartbreaking angst

author's note: this one, guys, gals, and non-binary pals, is for @fangirlovestuff because it's her BIRTHDAY. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABYYYY (and i'm sorry in advance). the songs are linked, so if you don't know them, you can check 'em out :)

In your ten months of knowing him, Chris had always known how to cheer you up, irregardless of how big or small the issue was.

You would even go so far as to call him a master of distraction – because by the end of the day, you wouldn't even have known you'd cried at all.

You could recall three times he had been there for you, and the two times you returned the favour.

The first time he had seen you cry – about three months into your living situation – he had been by your side immediately, pulling you flush against his body. He held you in his big arms for the longest time, and just waited the sobs out.

He wasn't the type of person to press, and he knew you'd tell him what was wrong if you wanted.

Instead, he asked you what you wanted.

You were lightheaded and cry‐drunk, so it took a moment to come back to yourself. "Huh?"

"Do you want to be quiet or loud?"

"I just..." You struggled to find words that didn't make you sound needy, but you found none. "I don't want to be alone."

"That's out of the question," he smiled knowingly. "So, what will it be, {your last name}? Quiet or loud?"

He had a twinkle in his eye, one that suggested his question delved deeper than the words implied.

"Quiet."

And then he was pulling you up off the couch and out the door in total disregard of your chosen attire.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

"Chris, I'm literally in my pyjamas–"

But he was already opening the garage, the creaks of the gears overshadowing your weak protests.

"You're wearing pants this time," he winked at you. "So we have that going for us."

And then you were in the car, location still a mystery.

Any attempts to get a modicum information was shut down with a simple "it's a surprise."

"Why can't you tell me?"

"Because then it wouldn't be a surprise."

And you were glad he hadn't told you, because soon, you were pulling up outside a place you hadn't been to since you were a kid and going on school trips. You'd never been to any L.A. ones, having moved there only half a year ago. But the way your whole body immediately was overcome with such calm...

It was like you had been hoping to come here since you'd woken up that morning, and had received the news of your grandfather's admittance to the hospital earlier that night.

But there was no way for Chris to have known that your grandfather had taken you to the aquarium when you were young, telling you about all the fish, helping you make up increasingly bizarre backstories for them.

He just knew you had to leave the house, and go somewhere quiet.

And it was a weekday, so the chances of kids screaming and running through the aquarium hallways were slim to none.

So while you walked in the tinted blue light, eyes scanning over information plaques and watching the multi-coloured aquatic animals lazily drift past the glass panes in a comfortable silence, you reached out to give his wrist a gentle squeeze.

His hands had been sitting in his pockets, giving you your space, but hovering close enough to you to let you know you weren't alone.

"Thank you," you croaked out softly.

When you turned your head to look at him, he had been looking at you, a smile of heartwarming endearance on his face.

If you hadn't been so consumed by the exhibits, you'd have known that he hadn't taken his eyes off you the entire time, and you'd have known he also hadn't stopped smiling. Smiling at you, seeing just how happy you were, even though your eyes were still watery and worry was still thick in your throat.

He slid his hand out of his pocket easily to lace your fingers together, loose enough for you to pull away if you had wanted, but tight enough for you to know that he had no intention of letting go first.

But you didn't pull away, instead strengthening the intwining grasp.

And so you continued, walking through the aquarium in that comfortable silence. And at some point along the way, you found laughter again, pointing out the ugliest fish and saying it was him, only to have him gasp in mock surprise.

"My God, you're such a flirt," he'd say.

And then he'd point out the most beautiful fish he could find.

"That's you."

——————

The second time was a week later.

It was your grandfather again, but the issue had been more serious than any one of your family members initially believed.

You didn't cry this time, but Chris could sense the immeasurable sadness in your posture, the way you sat on the couch, staring blankly ahead.

He came to stand in front of you, and gently knelt down so your eyes would focus on his. Everything about his stature screamed concern as he caressed the hair away from your face.

"Quiet or loud?" He had asked so softly, so simply.

"Loud."

He helped you up, careful with your fragile state. He walked you to your room, into the bathroom, and left you to take a calming shower by yourself.

When you'd gotten out, gotten ready for whatever surprise excursion was next – dressed casually in a t-shirt and jeans, scuffed sneakers on your feet but Chris would claim you looked prettier than he'd ever seen you – Chris was waiting for you by the front door.

You knew better than to ask him where he was taking you this time. And honestly, you were too drained to even muster the words.

You wanted loud, to drown out the misery.

And you got what you wanted.

Chris had taken you to a local pop-up carnival, and in spite of the cloudy weather mirroring your emotion, threatening rain, it was filled with screaming kids and the sounds of joy.

"They come by once every six months," he explained while you waited in the line to enter. "I wanted to take you under different circumstances, but..."

"It's wonderful," you assured him, although your tone didn't sound like it.

He paid your entrance fees – buying a large roll of game tickets for the both of you – and with his hand ghosting over the small of your back, he guided you inside.

Your smile first came when you were on the ferris wheel, and it didn't fade until you were back home, saying good night.

You had spent the whole afternoon there, and even most of the evening, until around ten, when they had begun to take down the stalls and unpitch their tents.

"I'm totally going to crush you at this," you had grinned at him at some game or another. And you did, but only because he wasn't entirely focused on the game, but watching you.

He would tell himself later, as he lay in bed, the reason he couldn't take his eyes off you was because he had wanted to make sure you were alright, and having a good time. But that was a half truth. The full truth was simply because he couldn't stop looking at that smile he loved so much, on the girl he loved more.

A sense of pride would swell in his chest at the very thought of him having played a part in your happiness.

And so you did absolutely crush him. But only because he'd been distracted, and, if truth be told, because he let you.

You held your prize – a hilariously massive teddy bear, drowning you in its fluff – with both arms, laughingly taunting him for his loss, which had got him a much smaller bear (a participation trophy at best) which he carried in one hand.

You had also gone to the circus they had there, your teddy bear seated beside the two of you, taking up a whole seat by itself. You marvelled at the trapeze artists, the charisma of the ringleader, the fire juggler from Prussia, and even found it in yourself to giggle a little at the clowns who you thought you'd be irreparably prejudiced against since you watched Stephen King's It.

And if you were to now scroll back in your camera roll, you would find the hundreds of pictures you had taken together in the hall of mirrors, and the beautiful twinkling lights of the distant city that sparkled like their own constellation from your view at the top of the wheel.

But you wouldn't scroll back now.

Not now.

———————

The third time had just been a bad day.

Nothing set it off, but you'd woken feeling like trash, and it really didn't sit well with you.

It had been post kiss, post Vegas, in that week Chris had returned, and he could feel it the second you stepped into the kitchen.

His usual morning greeting of "good morning, Sleeping Beauty" fell short on his lips.

"Both," you said to him, already knowing the question he was going to ask.

You had managed to get yourself dressed that day, thinking that that one step into productivity would pull you out of your slump. It hadn't. So you told him "both," and he immediately complied.

Setting the mug down, coffee unfinished, he grabbed his keys off the counter. He called for Dodger, and you were in the car again.

This time, you already knew where you were going. It wasn't a difficult puzzle to solve, especially with Dodger there with you.

And your suspicions were confirmed when he pulled up to a remote beach, a hidden gem that only locals would know about.

And in the secluded bay, you walked alongside each other, Dodger prancing ecstatically into the water and darting across the sand.

You watched him greet other dogs, tail wagging. You encountered very few people, giving them a greeting smile in passing.

It really was the perfect mixture of both – serene in the best way possible, ocean waves loud in their crash on the shore.

Chris made no effort to hide his gaze on you this time, aside from a pair of sunglasses perched on his nose, obscuring his eyes.

"Why are you wearing those?" You chuckled.

"What?"

"You're wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses. Did it not come with instructions or something?"

"Oh, that," he grinned. "I wear the cap for the aesthetic, sunglasses for the disguise."

You had to reach up on your tippytoes to do what you did next – which, if you were so inclined, could be referred to as theft in the court of law.

You easily snatched the cap off his head, and, dancing out of his reach, put it on. It was a size too big, and dipped into your eyes, making him laugh through the stern demeanor he was jokingly putting on.

"Give that back," he warned. "You're ruining the aesthetic."

You repeated him mockingly, and then he was chasing you down the beach, your squeals of delight interrupting the peace and grabbing Dodger's attention.

You weren't being chased down by one Evans anymore, but two, and hoping to find sanctuary, you made your way into the water.

The sea lapped eagerly at your knees, stray droplets clawing to soak into the frayed denim of your shorts.

Chris had been wearing jeans – not exactly intending for a beach day that morning – and you'd hoped that would be enough to halt the attack.

"If you think that some water is gonna stop me from righting this injustice," he began, equally as out of breath as you were. He had been holding himself back from outright catching up to you, and you knew that – Chris was the epitome of fitness. What did you expect? To outrun Captain America? – "nay, this crime, then you are dead wrong."

"I'm in international waters!" You called back, flicking the peak of his cap teasingly. "I'm out of your jurisdiction!"

"Fuck jurisdiction!" He yelled out, and then he was wading towards you.

Water slowed both of you as you tried to keep out of his grasp, but he had the benefit of being naturally quicker. He had you in a bearhug, trapping your body against his as you struggled to break free.

"Give it back," he playfully growled into your ear.

"Never! You'll never take me alive!" You fought the words out through your laughter.

And then Dodger was there too, all but pushing you over into the shallows of the shore.

You both lay there, allowing yourselves to be drenched, through and through, Dodger licking your faces excitedly.

And as the laughter slowly subsided and the cold the breeze introduced to your wet forms finally registered, you both got up.

"Alright, have your stupid hat back," you sighed, moving to take it off.

He captured your hand in a lightning quick grip, stilling your movements. "Keep it," he smiled. "Looks better on you anyways."

You smiled back sarcastically, rolling your eyes, before pushing him back down onto the sand playfully. "All this?! All this for me to keep it?!"

He propped himself up on his elbows to peer up at you, sunglasses knocked askew.

"Dodger, as my head torturer," you said to the exhilarated mountain of a dog. "I command you to execute this man."

———————

It was hard to watch a strong man crumble, and there were days when that happened, too.

It was the day of Dodger's operation – a hip surgery, nothing too life threatening – but Chris, with all his quick wit and charming smiles, was a shell of himself.

Of course, you were worried too. But Chris needed you more than you needed him, and so, in the mournful silence of the waiting room, you placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

He flinched a little at the sudden contact, but didn't pull away.

"Quiet or loud?"

In all definitions of the word – in the hour he had been in that waiting room, leg bouncing – he never thought he could hate quiet as much as he did now.

"Loud."

It took some effort to tug him to his feet, his body sluggish with worry. But he was up, and you were guiding him to the door, leaving your number with the vet secretary for any updates.

You didn't want Chris to be worrying and checking his phone every five seconds, because you knew how that dread felt. No, he needed a distraction.

"Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise."

You had never understood why Chris enjoyed doing that to you, never telling you where he was going to take you, but with the thrill of him not knowing, you got it. Spontaneity ran in his veins, and he didn't press like you so often did in the past.

You had been in L.A. long enough to find your own little secret spots, and to know exactly where you were without much guidance.

And if you were being honest with yourself, you didn't really know where you were taking him until your legs had absentmindedly taken you to an old vintage diner you knew had once been the talk of the town – filled to the brim with hipsters – before once again slipping into obscurity.

It was late into the night, but the diner was open 24/7, and you knew Chris hadn't eaten in a while.

When the bell jangled upon your entry, the waiters jolted, having taken to sitting down in the vacancy of their restaurant.

A few customers lingered here and there, club goers drunkenly scarfing down fries to try and sober up a little before hitting the next party and insomniacs downing their third cup of coffee that hour.

But for the most part it was empty, and, unfortunately, quiet.

"You here for karaoke night?" A bubblegum popping waitress asked. It really felt like the cliché, but it weirdly added to the charm. She stood, perched on the rubber stop of her roller skates, waiting for your response.

"Oh, hell yes we are," you grinned.

She took you to a table situated in front of a makeshift stage, a jukebox-karaoke machine hybrid standing proudly to one side.

Chris sat down, anxiety still heavy in his bones. You quickly ordered – two burgers, and a milkshake to share – before you were shedding your jacket and making your way on stage.

You didn't care about making a fool of yourself. The only thing you cared about was seeing Chris smile again, and in that moment, you'd do almost anything to make that happen.

You hummed in thought as you perused the songs available to you. You didn't expect much from the collection, given that the whole vibe of the diner was 50's through to early 90's. A total pocket dimension in time.

A song caught your eye and you grinned, selecting it immediately. Chris didn't want quiet – and you were going to be the loudest bitch here.

You could hear the whir of the machine as it came to life and you made your way to the vintage microphone. It crackled and whined when you pulled it closer to yourself.

You had caught the eye of the sobering-but-still-quite-drunk party animals, and they had come over to investigate.

"Sorry," you winced, voice booming on the mic. "This song goes out to my good friend Chris."

And then the music started to play, and he groaned. He knew the song decently enough, it having been one of your most replayed disco bops of the week.

"This is Sunny, by Boney M," you said over the intro. "Hope you enjoy."

And then you started to sing, intentionally bad at first to wheedle that cry strained laugh from Chris, and then finishing off in that voice he knew you had.

Every time the song mentioned "Sunny," you'd look directly at him, giving him an exaggerated wink. And at "I love you," you'd point at him, smile growing on your face as you danced ridiculously with the mic.

He was laughing, whole body shaking at how over-the-top you were being.

And when the song wrapped, you whooped into the mic, feedback squealing. "Thank you, everybody!" you panted.

The club goers applauded, screaming their drunken praises.

"YES, QUEEN!"

"YOU GO, BABY!"

"FUCK YES!"

"BEYONCÉ WHO?!"

That last one earned some shocked gasps and scolding. "Woah, dude. Too far."

"Thank you, thank you," you grinned, feeling alive. You could see the laughter starting to fade from Chris again, and so you moved to put on another song.

"This one," you whispered into the mic, "is a duet. So, please. Good friend Chris, wouldst thou riseth to the occasion?"

He shook his head, cheeks flushing at being called out.

"Oh, come on," you whined, the music already beginning to play out the intro. "For me?"

He narrowed his eyes at you, already smilingly weighing the pros and cons of his embarrassment. You batted your lashes. "I know you can sing, Evans. Don't start this shy shit now."

"COME ON, CHRIS!"

"YEAH, COME ON CHRIS!"

"Give the people what they want," you wiggled your brows.

He shrugged, muttering "fuck it," and reluctantly rising from his seat, he hopped on stage with one jump.

"You were working as a waitress at a cocktail bar, when I met you," he started singing flatly, eyes on yours, letting you know how much he didn't want to be up there. You arched a brow, pushing him let loose.

Slowly, with the encouragement of your smile, and the cheers from the drunk, he lost himself in the performance of "Don't You Want Me" by The Human League, even taking to dancing at your part of the duet.

And that's how you spent the rest of your waiting period – singing bad karaoke, shovelling food into your mouths between songs, and returning the favour of cheering on the clubbers when they had resolved to stay and sing because they decided the best time they were probably going to have that night was in that stuffy little diner on a street they probably would've walked right past on a regular day.

And when your phone rang for Dodger, you paid your bill, leaving a hefty tip in apology to the staff for having to endure your wailing. You said your goodbyes to your newfound friends of the night.

And Dodger was fine when you took him home.

And Chris was smiling again.

———————

You couldn't bare to dwell on the second time you took it upon yourself to cheer up Chris Evans, because the fact of the matter was, that just reminiscing about those other four had you muffling sobs all over again.

You thought about that day – the road back from Vegas, pulling off to Route 66, taking him to the food truck park – and the alcohol you urgently gulped down did nothing to numb you.

You had often looked back on those memories fondly. But now it was a gaping hole in your chest.

You were sitting on the balcony, overlooking the beach. In the distance, under moonlight, you saw a couple walking hand-in-hand, and you knew it was them.

"Thought I'd find you out here," a familiar voice said. It wasn't Chris', and that had you swigging another shot from the near empty bottle in your lap. "You holding up okay?"

"Ask me again in a month," you stated blankly. You hadn't even moved to address the newcomer, nor had you shifted over to make room for him. He sat all the same. "If you want to put a number to how long it takes to move on, ask Chris. The answer is a month."

It had taken a month for him to move from you to Lily. But it wasn't exactly like any of you had made your feelings and intentions known, aside from a kiss that you had claimed you'd been drunk for, and a confirmation of friendship.

If you let yourself think about it too long – which you had, on more than one occasion, this one specifically – it was your fault.

Sebastian reached over and gently pried the bottle from your iron grip. He looked at how much was left, surprised. And still, you gazed numbly ahead.

"This is how day one looks, huh?" He attempted a joke. Even he knew it fell flat, and instead took a sip to ease himself.

"The alcohol content in that bottle is directly proportionate to how many fucks I have left to give," you shrugged, voice monotonous.

"How much more are you going to put yourself through before you've had enough?"

"I've had enough," you sighed. "But I'll probably suffer a little more."

"You have more strength than I do, then."

His sympathetic arm wrapped around you, and you melted into his side, the comfort another person brought acting as a placebo salve to the pain. Like an ice pack on a shattered femur.

And you realised why you were so sad. Those memories meant nothing to you now.

They had lost their meaning because he wasn't there with you, on this roof, asking you that question when you needed it asked the most. Quiet or loud.

He wasn't there, and the taste of whiskey was chased away by ash.

#dina writes #dina cries #chris evans #chris evans fanfic #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #chris evans/you #chris evans fluff #chris evans/reader #chris evans angst

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geekkatsblog · 4 years ago

Text

Making my heart race for 45 minutes every week season 17x5 or like everyone else likes to call it Grey's Anatomy.

"A VERY LONG BUT IMPROTANT PART TO READ BELOW."

Now before I get started I was idly scrolling through Instagram instead of studying like I was supposed to and I was recommended a Grey's Anatomy confession site to torture myself (because most of the time I feel irrationally sad after reading when I see my faves being bashed) and I was a good few confessions in when I noticed that someone had taken a part of lasts weeks review word for word and submitted it. I never really thought I would have to but I beg please don't do that. Confession sites tend to make my heart race and when I realized it was my words that were used I was already in the comments, none of my opinions in these are final so I'd rather not have my words posted anywhere else where people can't see the complete picture. Its definitely fine to use it as inspiration but Please do not post my reviews anywhere else, or at least ask first.

*Now finally onto the review*

All in all the episode was like I expected in terms of outcomes however Grey's has got to come up with another genetic disorder besides Alzheimers, because this is yet another doctor with the gene. Not much happened besides the main event so let's hope I don't talk all over myself again.

___________________________________________

Catherine Fox and Jackson Avery

Refuses to wear the mask like the pig headed woman she is. Her especially should take no risks because as it was pointed out in the episode she is immunocompromised. She didn't actually appear in person but I thought I would mention her part in the episode because it gave us Richard and Jackson scenes which I have grown to love and appreciate because they're always wholesome the one they had tonight on systematic racism was great and one that I hope managed to educate viewers on the situation. It's great to see Jackson have someone there who has a parent figure there to listen calmly. Catherine as great of a mother as she is in my opinion sometimes she can come across as an eccentric aunt. I'm glad Richad managed to tame the wildcat and convince her to wear a mask with his sexual promises. We've lost enough Grey Sloan staff and family from it so far.

___________________________________________

Meredith

A hopefully temporary resident at the fake beach where nothing is real. Unfortunately there were no new visitors at the beach. Like I stated last week, I'm not entirely sure if we'll see anymore of the greats such as Mark Sloan, Lexie ect but there's still a chance next week although it seems like she might be waking up, but like I always say with Grey's expect the unexpected She may or may not be out of the deep end yet but I'm just thankful for the few glimpses we got to see George and Derek grace our screens again the nostalgia was great. However as much as I enjoyed seeing them again, I want Meredith to wake up I miss her, she may not be as fun and quirky as she used to be in the earlier seasons but without her working in the hospital it's hard to deny that something's missing from the episodes.

___________________________________________

TEDDY / OWEN/ TOM

(Here we go again.) 😔

This triangle has been going strong for a long time almost too long, and once again they flipped the switch its always back and forth. A few episodes ago she was begging Owen for forgiveness and now she's telling Tom they have a future. I feel like she needs some time to process what she's really feeling most of the time it seems like she's confused and fair enough it all happened so fast the time between her being with Tom and Owen expressing his still lingering feelings to her but now she needs to make sure that the decision she makes now is the one she actually intends to stick with.

On another note Tom seems to be out of the woods, for now at least which is great when he asked for his son I was a little concerned for a bit I wasn't sure if he was really going to make it. He's a douche and a hard ass but he has the potential to have a great character development, so I'm glad he got another chance. And my comments about wanting Helm to be his new protege remains in that small scene they had last week something just clicked with me and there's also the fact that she wanted to treat him despite the risks.

Owen was here as a filler basically, and to reinforce the love triangle again.

___________________________________________

Jo Wilson

Is thinking of switching specialties, if Ben can do it like changing sweaters why can't she switch? I do think it will be a good fit for her the way she has been fawning over the babies of recent it was either that or give her one of her own which in my opinion I don't think she's ready for. But even in all of the excitement I can't help but think that she's only looking at the cupcake and rainbow side for now because although it's awesome being the first one to hold the babies and everything, not every delivery goes well sometimes the babies don't make it or in other cases the mothers die I hope she's ready to face that side of the package as well.

Just mentioning as well that I love the friendship between her and Schmitt. It was an unexpected but pleasant pairing one of which I'm looking forward to seeing more of in the long run.

On the other hand if Jo switches this gives us more of a chance to see Carina as well because she was signed on a a series regular yet we don't get to see her enough except for on Station 19 and on there she's only Maya's girlfriend. I hope it changes soon and they give her more of a plot or something.

___________________________________________

Amelia/Link

Not much relationship content other than Link finding out about her and Koracick's fling and he took her going into the hospital before the end of her maternity leave quite well. They are one of the healthier relationships in Grey's. Right now at least things always get trickier later.

I'm glad she went in though it let Koracick know that he still had people who care about him and she managed to make Teddy who everyone was treating like garbage as well feel a little better.

___________________________________________

Maggie

No Winston today but we got a lot of Maggie content which was great. She was the moral support once again but today I was fine with it I always enjoy her moments with Bailey and at least she was able to be there for her seeing that Ben was MIA and Webber was busy taking care of her patients along with Jackson. Once again a very needed conversation between her and Bailey and I loved that she still went to comfort her despite the fact that rehashing her own mother's death had to be painful to do.

___________________________________________

Bailey

(Thanks for ruining My Girl for me Grey's now instead of feeling happy I'll forever think of Bailey saying goodbye to her mother.)

We all know that whenever Bailey starts spouting out her feelings and asking for help and advice things are about to go down.

Before we get completely into it I'd just like to express my disappointment in the fact that Ben literally dropped everything took the aid car to save his in laws no questions asked then dropped off his mother in law at the hospital with Covid and left his wife who has anxiety without even checking in. I know he's a first responder as well and he isn't allowed into the hospital that easily either but geeze no other phone calls or messages to check in?. He better have been stuck putting out a huge fire or something equally as bad, besides being him being hurt himself at least.

Another foot note to appreciate Bailey primping before her facetiming with Ben. Go get it hun. Their relationship be cute as usual.

Then the big revel her, mother has dementia, yet another doctor with the alzheimers gene. The moment between her and Meredith was heartwarming to be honest it's a foreign thing seeing them so close and having life conversations still but it's something I hope we get to see often they've had them as semi rivals/ semi friends long enough.

It was hard to see her have to say goodbye and the fact that her father couldn't be there to tell his wife any final words and be there to hold her as she passed made it worse, his wife that he was married to and loved for so long had to die without the comfort of her husband by her side and her daughter could barely hold her hand because of the bulk of her suit, then one of the saddest parts was that she possibly didn't even know what was happening to her. But thankfully Bailey could have been there to sing to her and keep her calm, a lot of people don't even get that much of a chance during the pandemic their loved ones die alone.

The moment I saw the conversation with her dad and the way she was only half listening I knew she was going to blame herself at some point over what happened, it remains to be seen if Maggie's speech worked or if she's going to continue to blame herself. Like I stated before I love the conversation her and Maggie had. One of the reasons why I haven't stepped off the Grey's Carousel is because they touch on topics that others don't cross they aren't afraid to touch the important and controversial things.

I was too being sad over her mothers death at first but I also want to talk about her and Webber's friendship he immediately postponed everything to be there for her, he took over her workload and still made sure he was there in time to be there and support her when she watched her mother flat line.

___________________________________________

The pandemic has always been real to me but somehow seeing the names of those that passed at the end was surreal I found myself just staring at the screen for a few minutes later reflecting on everything.

___________________________________________

Next week is the winter finale and I have no idea how it could get anymore dramatic than it already is. There's been so much already but Grey's always manages to surprise me. Then after that episode it's back to nothing until March 😭😭😭.

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southeastasianists · 4 years ago

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From the iconic films of drag legend Divine to the campy classics The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, and To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar; the essential documentary Paris Is Burning to the groundbreaking TV series Pose; and, of course, the popular herstory-making franchise of RuPaul’s Drag Race. There’s a plethora of content from drag culture that can comfort the weary during these confusing times.

Drag, in its basic sense, is about transformation. It’s a reaction to society’s standards and expectations. However, albeit entertaining at first glance, drag, like any other art form, has always been political. From half a century ago’s queens of Stonewall riots to today’s digital queens, drag has always fought for the downtrodden – all the while wearing seven-inch rhinestone-studded heels.

In celebration of Pride Month, INQUIRER.net talked to six of the country’s fiercest queens about the importance of drag in this period of turmoil.

The art of drag

I always knew I like creating things, whether it’s dressing up our Christmas tree or dressing up for Halloween. When I first transformed in drag, it was like an epiphany. I knew this is something I would do for a long time. It was love at first drag…

As much as the pandemic has taken away the physical interaction that we used to enjoy during our parties, it also opened up more opportunities for the art of drag to be seen and appreciated. In the past, local drag queens and performers can only be seen inside nightclubs and LGBTQ establishments, and a lot of enthusiasts and artists don’t have access to such places, especially minors and those living in the provinces.

Nowadays, I still get to do drag, but more on hosting and co-producing online shows and parties. In doing so, I’m able to gather people and provide platforms for other drag artists to be seen and perform. So far, the reception has been good, especially since online e-numan is slowly becoming the new normal for our patrons in the clubs…

Drag is dynamic, evolving, and very diverse. Here in the Philippines, most people are familiar with drag through impersonators and our trans sisters donned in impeccable gowns. But there are also drag artists with occult or alternative aesthetics, or unpolished makeup skills, or garbage as part of their brand, and those who tell stories onstage that some may not like.

I, for one, am a storyteller. What I do is I incorporate current events or matters of public interest in the songs I perform. By carefully listening to the lyrics of a song, I weave its meaning to my stand on social issues. People may say it’s a political agenda, or that I’m biased or off-putting, but that’s what art does. It’s meant to provoke and challenge ideologies…

Human rights should never be a collateral damage. It is not the law itself that puts the people at risk. It’s the integrity and morality of those enforcing it that predisposes people to danger and makes them fear for their lives. Why would we trust such absolute power to this government?

-- Eva Le Queen

Mascots of the LGBT community

I started doing drag as an escape from reality. Just like any other art form, it’s a vehicle for the expression of my alter ego. My drag persona is an extension of who I am as a person.

I see it more as a hobby than work. I tell myself that I will stop doing drag once it starts to feel like work. During this pandemic, it’s so heartwarming to see all these queens, young and old, come together during these hard times…

There’s a Chicago drag queen named TRex who said, “As drag queens, we are the mascots of the LGBT community.” That resonated with me because we have a responsibility to amplify the voices of our community. Just because we’re entertainers doesn’t mean we don’t have a say on political issues.

In this country, those who criticize the government get silenced. That’s why as part of a community of outcasts in a society that conforms deeply to tradition, we make it a point to speak out without fear or reservations. Because at the end of the day, we have to be echoes that will remind our countrymen that we are the generation that never forgets…

It’s crazy. “I am the law.” That’s what’s happening in our country right now. It’s no longer about the law of the state. That’s why the Terror Bill is wrong. If the government can abuse the law against journalists who are only doing their job, they can surely do it to anyone.

The problem is, supporters of politicians act like fandoms. It shouldn’t be that way. They hold their positions because the people put them there. But, really, what can we expect from this government? You elect a clown, expect a circus.

-- ØV CÜNT

Disturbing the comfortable

Drag is a matter of creating your own reality, and in creating your identity, you get to choose the traits that you want to embody. I believe that it’s a melting pot of everything I’ve learned in life, especially from theater and the arts.

As drag queens, we get to break the social norms, and we do it with more power and confidence than we ever thought we had.

Drag is art, and art in general is meant to comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable. It’s a fun way of looking at what’s happening in our society and of doing checks and balances. Drag queens have always been integral in the LGBT movement, and removing politics from a drag queen is the same as removing that person’s identity…

Ever since the lockdown, more newbies have joined the scene, and they even get to perform with the more veteran queens. People aren’t that busy so we get to interact with each other. Queens from different clubs and cities finally get the chance to collaborate. Everyone gets a level playing field.

At the same time, it’s also challenging because it’s still a live show, so you still have to put in the effort. There’s no assurance of a talent fee, and the attention span of netizens is so short, especially with so many things competing for their attention online. It’s a different stage, too. We’re constricted to the screens of other people’s devices…

I always try to make my drag fun, but it depends on the mood, the sound, and the message. Same with crafting any other performance, there has to be a story. You should get the audience hooked and there has to be an escalation and climax. Whether you make it subtle or literal, the message always has to come across.

For me, the message is often about coming together as so-called deviants and telling people who we are and demanding what is ours, or telling people that we are not a sin and that being ourselves is good enough.

-- Mrs. Tan

Drag is unbreakable

I did drag for the first time by joining Drag Cartel back in November 2017. It’s a competition for aspiring drag queens. Category for the night was “Disney On Ice,” so I came as Prince Charming in drag. That night, I won, and from there, my love for drag just bloomed.

I do it because it makes me do things that I’d normally just fantasize about. It’s a realization of the things that give me inspiration. The look, the makeup, the attitude. Even though it takes a lot of time, effort, and money, and even though my face breaks out and I get physically hurt while performing, living that fantasy is still the best feeling…

“Keep drag alive” is what we always say, and that goes for togetherness. For drag queens, drag enthusiasts, and drag lovers to maximize the power of social media and uplift queer artists to keep pushing, and to show that this pandemic is not a reason to stop doing what you love…

Drag is a middle finger to all forms of hatred, homophobia, discrimination, social injustice, and stigma…

What’s going on in our country is so overwhelming that I’m often left speechless. Every day I scroll through my feed and I see one issue after another, and it makes me feel sick. I’m disgusted by the people responsible for all this mess.

I just hope people will take note of those in power who haven’t done anything good for this country. I hope that come election season, the people will remember what’s going on now and who’s responsible. I hope they vote for the right people. That’s all we can do as Filipinos.

—PRINCE

An image of hope

I started doing drag April of 2019 when I met a few drag queens (now my drag sisters and best friends) who helped me build my drag persona. I have always been very flamboyant and effeminate growing up, and drag opened up the possibilities for me to express those traits even further. Before, I was just doing it for self-discovery, but now, it’s for the community as well.

Drag is about finding the courage to create an image of hope and fulfilment for yourself that could later on affect other people’s lives…

The local scene has been very resilient when it comes to this pandemic. This is a living proof that drag is possible even without clubs and big venues. Just like wild grass, it’s bound to find a way to grow on its own no matter what…

Drag has always been political, and expressing my thoughts on socio-political issues through performances, public posts, online protests, and family and peer conversations is a way for me to maximize my drag as a political medium.

With everything that we’re facing right now, I think a lot of people are scared for their own safety more than ever. Aside from the unresolved coronavirus crisis, it’s really frightening to witness the recent displays of abuse of power and the questionable decisions of this government.

As a member of a community that has long been experiencing inequality, discrimination, and unlawful acts, I am deeply saddened with how all of this misconduct diminishes my hopes for a country free from oppression.

—Marina Summers

On the right side of history

Drag is my art, my craft, and my passion. Without it, I’m incomplete. It’s an alternative persona but it’s also part of my identity. It is the Juliet to my Romeo.

My interest in drag started after I saw the film To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar. The glitz and glamour was so fascinating, and I immediately wanted to be part of that world.

People may see us as glamorous toads with a million rhinestones in 7-inch heels but, girl, it’s not as easy as it looks. Drag is not just crossdressing. It’s a transformation.

Drag queens are probably the most resilient and most creative people I know. Drag is thriving even on lockdown. There are a lot of online shows for all to see. We figured out a new way of showcasing our chops. We will survive this…

Drag is political. It was, it is, and it always will be. Periodt. I am a full-grown adult man dressed up to the nines, looking like Joan Crawford after losing the Oscars. It’s a big middle-finger to toxic masculinity and misogyny.

I like to think I have a considerable amount of following, which means I have a platform. I always have a choice, just like everybody else. One can choose to stay quiet, which effectively means choosing the side of the oppressors. Or I, a drag queen, can choose to be part of a positive change and help inspire a new generation of people who are not afraid to express themselves, political or otherwise.

I want to end on the right side of history. As a drag queen, I believe I can do that.

—Dee Dee Holliday

#drag #drag queens #lgbtq #philippines #art #culture #resistance

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ryleighisapanda · 5 years ago

Text

Love Ain’t

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Warnings: slight smut? just at the very, very end, and cursing

Genre: slight angst?, fluff, bestfriend to lovers

Summary: Peter and [Name] are forced to confront their feelings about one another when she turns to him for comfort after being stood up.

Inspiration: @spiderbabyparker‘s long-ago (when you were still lovely-parker, haha) ask sent to @petersshirts - “Stark!reader getting stood up on her date and rushing to her room crying when she gets back from her date leading to Peter (her best friend) going to comfort her, and he kisses her forehead and says “it’s okay babe” and they end up admitting feelings for each other?”

Notes: So it’s a little different from the ask, but I hope it’s still up to par :)

At the time, [Name] wasn’t even sad. She was pissed. She had put way too much time and energy in to be stood up like this - no call, no text, nothing. Not to mention she had bought a new dress specifically for this occasion (she blamed her dad for raising her to believe a new outfit had to be bought for every event).

[Name] plopped down on the spinny bar stool and flagged down a waitress. After ordering a milkshake and cheese fries, she pulled out her phone and opened TikTok. Already her “grwm: date edition” video had a couple thousand views. There were those stupid comments like “first” and “early”; annoying ones like “legend has it she replies if you’re early” (what do you even say to that??) and “bet she won’t reply” (guess what, you’re right); heartwarming ones like “omg where did you buy that dress??” and “can i be that pretty”; and then excited ones like “let us know how it goes!” and “someone remind me to come back”.

When the waitress came back, [Name] thanked her and gave her exact change. [Name] scrolled through her For You Page for the next hour, long after she’d finished her shake and fries. She probably would’ve sat there until the diner closed had it not been for a TikTok Flash had posted featuring - are you fucking kidding me? - Lance Thompson, Flash’s cousin but more importantly: [Name]’s date.

[Name] had tried giving Lance the benefit of the doubt. Maybe his phone had died, and his car had broken down. Maybe his mom had gone into labor. Maybe he’d been attacked by a pack of sewage rats while taking the subway.

The last one was a bit extreme, but after seeing that Flash’s video had been posted a mere seventeen minutes ago, [Name] wished it had actually happened. She clicked on the tag that led to Lance’s account -- for why, she didn’t know. She didn’t know what she expected to find, but multiple videos of her was not on the list. She clicked on the most recent one, a video taken just the other day.

“Lance, I’m cold,” [Name] had pouted, tugging on Lance’s hoodie sleeve.

Lance raised his eyebrows, but after seeing [Name]’s wink and playful smile, he knew what she wanted him to say. “Well, damn, [Name], I can’t control the weather!”

After a giggle and a combination of pouty lips and puppy dog eyes up at him, Lance had yanked off his hoodie and given it to [Name] before planting a kiss on her lips.

The bittersweetness of watching the video proved to be more bitter than sweet after [Name] read the caption: week five of making the snobby rich girl fall in love with me before giving her a taste of her own medicine.

Snobby? Her own medicine? Confusion washed over [Name], but it was nothing compared to the heartbreak she felt. She wasn’t in love with Lance by any means, but she had started to genuinely care for him.

This small heartbreak would take a little time to get over, but there was one person who could make it just a bit more bearable.

To say that there was no privacy between Peter and [Name] would be an understatement. After May had told her that Peter was in his room, she’d walked in without even knocking. Without a word, really, because her heart hurt so much, she didn’t feel like talking.

“[Name]!” Peter exclaimed, surprised yet happy nonetheless, to see her. “How’d your da--” He didn’t need his Spidey sense to tell him that that question was better left unfinished.

[Name] went to Peter’s desk where she kept a drawer of the things she’s needed before that she couldn’t snitch from Peter (bras, panties, etc). Been through this routine a million times, Peter turned his back to [Name] as she stepped out of her dress, pulled on a sports bra, and stepped into a pair of his sweatpants. [Name] threw her hair up into a bun, then yanked the scrunchie out and hoped Peter would play with it; that always seemed to put her at ease and content.

After crawling under the covers and wiggling her way into Peter’s arms, [Name] finally mumbled, “He stood me up.” Peter didn’t say anything, just started twirling a lock of her hair. She closed her eyes for a minute, enjoying the moment. “He doesn’t even like me. He put it on his stupid TikTok.”

“Are you serious?” Peter’s temperature was rising; he never liked this guy from the beginning, and him being Flash’s cousin didn’t help his case.

“Yeah, something about giving me my own medicine?” [Name] picked up Peter’s phone from his chest and went to Lance’s TikTok. “I didn’t even know he had an account, and now there’s all these videos of us being all cute together and his caption is always the same: “week whatever of making the snobby rich girl fall in love with me before giving her a taste of her own medicine”. I don’t even know what that means.”

“Let me see.” [Name] gave Peter his phone and watched him scroll through the videos, even the ones without [Name] in them. “Who records the videos? The ones of you and him?”

“I dunno, I never really paid attention,” [Name] sighed. “I mean, in all those videos, we’re with our friends.”

Peter paused a video [Name] herself had recorded; it was some football TikTok Lance and a couple of his buddies had done. “Who’s this?” Peter asked, pointing to a guy with dyed black hair and one dangly earring.

“Braxton?” [Name] looked up at Peter. “That’s Lance’s best friend from, like, Kindergarten. Why?”

Peter didn’t answer for a minute; he was concentrating on something. “Do you remember that party your old friend Lorelai threw back in middle school? The one her parents sent her away to some troubled behavior school because they couldn’t keep her under control?”

“She preferred Rory, but yes,” [Name] answered. “Where are you going with this? That I had a lapse in judgement when it came to friends and hung around the wrong crowd during my preteen years?”

“Well, you did, but no,” Peter chuckled; this provoked a small chuckle from [Name] as well, which meant Peter was doing something right. “Remember the kid with the round glasses and freckles and carrot top hair?”

“Yeah,” [Name] furrowed her brows and thought back to that dreadful night. “I didn’t like him, but she knew he liked me, so she forced us to play Seven Minutes in Heaven. I didn’t wanna hurt his feelings so I let him kiss me, but then I dodged him at school and avoided his texts. Oh gods, the rest of that semester was SO awkward and embarrassing.”

“[Name], that’s what Lance is getting you back for,” Peter realized with a heavy sigh. “That kid was Braxton.”

All the color drained from [Name]’s face. She felt like she’d been sucker punched in the gut. Maybe Rory was right; being nice did backfire.

[Name] didn’t feel like talking anymore. She grabbed her phone and pressed play on her previously made breakup playlist. As the songs spoke the words she felt, [Name] synced her breathing to Peter’s and fell asleep to his heartbeat.

Not long after [Name] had fallen asleep, her phone rang. Peter picked it up off his stomach and saw that Mr. Stark was calling. Peter’s face burned; Mr. Stark and May both had seen he and [Name] cuddling and sleeping on the same bed or couch or even chair, but when it came to Mr. Stark, Peter still felt as if they were caught doing something they weren’t supposed to be doing--even though they weren’t even together. Not wanting to make Mr. Stark wait even longer, Peter slid his thumb across the screen. “H-Hi, Mr. Stark.”

“Peter. How’s she doing?” At Peter’s scrunched eyebrows, [Name]’s dad elaborated, “May told me she’d come over visibly upset and looking for you. Don’t tell me it was that boy.”

Peter pursed his lips, but there was no sense in being vague; Mr. Stark already knew. “Yes, sir. Apparently he’s been playing her all this time.”

Mr. Stark groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Peter?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Take care of her, will you? And one more thing.”

Peter raised his eyebrows.

“She loves you more than she realizes. Remember that.” And just like that, Mr. Stark was gone. Peter refused to let himself think about Mr. Stark’s last message. He’d morph it into something it wasn’t, and his and [Name]’s whole friendship would be ruined.

The first thing [Name] noticed when she woke up was that Peter wasn’t there. She rubbed her eyes, which were irritated from crying, and looked around his room. He was nowhere to be found. He was most likely in the bathroom and grabbing a late-night snack, but that didn’t soothe the ache in her heart that always came when Peter wasn’t around.

[Name] grabbed her phone from the nightstand and checked the time.

Oof. Too bright.

She turned the brightness down. 2:16.

As it always did, the picture of Peter made her smile. They’d done the chubby bunny challenge, and Peter had stuffed so many marshmallows into his mouth, it was impossible for [Name] not to snap a picture.

The events of last night felt like a faded memory, even the hurt. Peter always managed to do that, somehow, make everything else disappear. Some lucky girl was going to have an amazing husband that would make a wonderful father.

Maybe MJ.

Hopefully [Name] herself.

[Name] dropped her phone. She ignored it as it clattered to the floor. Consciously, she had never thought of Peter as anything but a best friend. But now everything--the way her face lit up when he walked in a room, the tingling down her spine that accompanied Peter’s breath when he whispered in her ear in class, the giddiness in getting ready for their friend dates, even the occasional dreams of them together that she’d refused to acknowledge--all made perfect sense.

Peter walked into the room then, his shower hair now curling in ringlets.

“I love you,” [Name] blurted, before her fight or flight had a chance to stop herself.

Peter’s face warmed as blood rushed up his neck and on his cheeks. He seemed happy for a split second, before he laughed nervously. “Uh, yeah, I love you, too, p-pal.”

[Name] shook her head vigorously. She was filled with so much adrenaline now that she’d have a panic attack if she didn’t release it. “No, not like that, I’m in love with you, Peter. You make the world disappear and there’s only me and you, and every time you put the suit on I lose my shit worrying about you, but then you come in my room every night to assure me that you’re okay, and I’m always thinking about you, and it pains me if I ever think you might not be in my future. You weren’t my first kiss, Peter, but I want you to be my next and the one after that and the one after that until it’s my last. Stark is a very infamous and honestly really cool name, but I don’t want it forever, I don’t want anyone’s name but yours, Peter Parker, and I love you so much it hurts, and I may have only just realized it now but I’ve loved you for so much longer and now that I think about it, you may not even feel the same, and I very well could have just jeopardized our who--”

No longer was Peter standing by his bedroom door. It was closed now, and Peter was hovering over [Name], his hand around her throat. “Do me a favor, baby girl, and stop talking.” He smashed his lips against hers, and when he pulled away, he raked his teeth along her bottom lip.

Peter rested his forehead against [Name]’s, his eyes closed; they were both breathing heavily. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that,” he admitted breathily.

“Then get back here and do it again.” [Name] grabbed a fistful of Peter’s shirt and pulled him back down to her.

Needless to say, there was not only a meeting of the minds and souls that night, but also the bodies.

tagged: @marvel-lously @k-a-t-h-r-y-n-sbin @lilyholland

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #reader insert #spider-man #spider-man: homecoming #spider-man: hoco #sm: hoco #tony stark #stark!daughter #stark!reader #tom holland #slight smut #fluff #slight angst

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ariannjs · 4 years ago

Text

FAKE HAPPY | A SasuSaku FanFic One Shot

So I recorded a cover for Paramore's "Fake Happy" (full vid here) last week and since my initial plan for #SasuSakuTwitFest2020's Day 2 is not yet finished, I thought of writing this fic connected to the song instead😬

For #SasuSakuTwitFest2020 Day 2: Connected

"You see it's easy when I'm stomping on a beat

But no one sees me when I crawl back underneath."

-Fake Happy by Paramore

Disclaimers:

-I do not own Naruto nor Paramore.

-Situations stated are based on general possible experiences of some people especially during this time, though most are familiar and personal to me also.

Trigger warnings: Anxiety Attack. Depressive thoughts.

Ending in angst is not my purpose for this, it's actually the other way around❤️ but if you think it would not be helpful for you to continue reading this fic at this time due to the trigger warning, it's definitely okay.

However, please do NOT miss the author's note in the end🤗

Much love,

P.S. Here's to the #FewButTrue people that see the signs and reach out to us at just the right time even though we look fine on the outside.

––

It was supposedly her rest day, the one thing that she has looked forward to all throughout her jam packed week. Yet much to her dismay, despite her body being rested, her mind had other plans. Sakura could barely remember the number of times she has thrown her phone on the bed in a span of four hours.

It was a lot to take in.

Earlier today, it was announced that the number of positive cases for the pandemic has skyrocketed in Iwa, yet the council has decided to partly lift the quarantine there, increasing the people’s exposure to the virus as they try to go back to their normal lives before all these. It didn’t make sense.

Few moments later, a short video went viral on Twitter, wherein civilians from Ame flocked in front of their Kage’s Tower to complain about the lack of relief goods distributed for them in the past month. A month! To think that all of the Hidden Villages had been under quarantine for three months now and there were so many people in dire need of supply for their basic needs. It didn’t make sense.

There was also a reliable national media company that was shut down by Kiri’s council, at such a time as this wherein a credible source of news and updates was a need for everyone. Sadly, many employees have lost their job in the process, amidst the uncertainty caused by the pandemic which was the main issue their council should’ve focused on to begin with. Again, it didn’t make sense.

What surprised her was the amount of facebook posts that disclosed irrational killings from members of a huge clan in the Sound, an issue that has been ongoing yet remained an elephant in the room for how many years. It broke her heart seeing the messages of relatives who were screaming for the justice of their murdered family member through typewritten words. Others even had videos of themselves with placards containing their stand on the issue. She couldn’t imagine how terrifying it must be to be there right now, what with the virus still lingering around them and the possibility of being shot on the spot just because you wanted to fight for your people. The Sound’s council continued to wash their hands. And yes, it didn’t make any sense at all.

But the last thing that struck her nerve was the decree that Konoha’s council of elders has released a few minutes ago, wherein any form of appeal or complaint by the people – whether via peaceful protest or a mere social media post – could lead to them being suspected as insurgents, which would then result to authorities having the right to detain them without a warrant of arrest.

And just like that, the fact that the entire world was facing a deadly pandemic has gone down the drain. Honestly? Sakura didn’t even know what else makes sense right now.

She screamed against her pillow and continued lying on her bed. Her head hurt. Her eyes were puffy. Her heart was palpitating. And her hands began to shake as she breathed heavily in the confines of her bedroom.

There were pain, frustration, anxiety, fear, anger, guilt, confusion, and so many other emotions bubbling inside her that they started to weigh her down even physically. Besides, it wasn't the first time that Sakura broke down during the twelfth week of quarantine. Everything externally and internally was just too much to bear these days.

She thought it would be nice to return to social media after being away from it for a week, leaving her stuck with the messaging apps that she kept active only because she needed them for work. But she was totally wrong on all levels.

It was nice that she became informed about the latest news, yet she now learned that indeed, too much exposure on social media wasn't helpful for her at all. She needed to take a break, or maybe lots of them.

It took a while before the tension in her body ebbed, and when it did, it was the best feeling in the world.

Still, extensive exhaustion filled Sakura from the inside out, leaving her with no more tears to shed as she sat up after a 14-minute nap. These days, naps kept her going, though they weren't really enough. She was glad the rampage in her brain paused somehow but she wished it could've been like that for hours. Well, it's better than not being able to sleep at all.

Moments later, her eyes widened due to the sudden vibration of her phone. There was an incoming message. And she couldn't help but feel on edge once more as she felt frozen in place.

Please don't let it be my boss. Please don't let it be about my presentation! Or wait, is it mom? Are they okay?

Sure, she could've stopped herself from getting her phone with her now sweaty hands and checking the SMS considering that it was her rest day, but the nagging guilt inside her about saying no to anything asked of her overpowered her senses. And there was also the thought that it could be an emergency, she didn't want anything to fail just because she didn't respond immediately.

With her decision being final, Sakura took three deep breaths before opening the text that she received, yet what she saw on her screen made fresh tears trickle down her face once again.

Sasuke Uchiha:

I'm just here, okay? Let me know if you want me to call you.

Sakura didn’t expect to receive such a heartwarming message at the exact moment she needed it. She hasn’t seen Sasuke ever since Konoha imposed a nationwide quarantine and they haven’t even talked online for weeks, but for him to suddenly message her with such reassurance as if he knew that she needed to hear it, it made her feel like they had no distance between them for months.

She read the message once more, and as she parsed the two sentences like it’s from a language unfamiliar to her, it slowly felt like the dark cloud above her head began dissipating somehow.

A part of her hesitated in responding to him. She didn’t want to sound needy. She didn’t want to be a bother, because for sure, Sasuke also has baggage of his own.

However, she realized that he was not the kind who would ever think of her that way. Never did he look at her with judgmental eyes, only with concerned ones. And that was enough for her to trust that it wasn’t something to be guilty about if she accepted his generous offer of being a listening ear that night.

Sakura didn’t bother typing a message anymore, instead, she scrolled through her contacts and called his number, fingers slightly twitching in nervousness. Because what if he's suddenly busy? What if he's not really interested in what she would say? And what if he would change his mindset about her after whatever she'd be able to share to him tonight?

Her mind was bombarded with tons of "what ifs," but when she heard a gentle "Hello?" on the other line, she was unable to stifle another cry.

"Sakura, how are—?"

Her sobs became a little louder, and she was worried that Sasuke would end up cutting the call.

"It's alright, Sakura. Go on, just release that. I'll stay here."

Yet he surprised her again. She didn't know how many minutes passed by as she just teared up with Sasuke silent on the other line. As her cries kept going, relief slowly entered her system like it was something she had never frlt before. She didn't know she needed to cry with somebody until she called Sasuke. She realized that it was so much different than when she was having a breakdown on her own.

"Are you feeling better somehow?" Sasuke asked when her muffled cries subsided.

"Y-yes. I guess."

"You know you can tell me anything."

She heaved a sigh, nodding her head as if Sasuke would see her. "Thank you, Sasuke."

"Don't thank me yet. What happened?"

And then Sakura told him everything, from the terrifying news that astounded her that afternoon up to the messy details of her hectic week.

She told him about how worried she was for her parents who were in the province, wherein the number of those affected by the virus was increasing day by day. And as much as she wanted to help them with their food supply, she felt helpless that she couldn't do much while she was here in the city.

She also told him about how she felt like she was merely moving in a tiny box instead of flourishing in her profession, how it seemed like she was going nowhere in life despite being at the ripe age of 27.

She mentioned regarding her presentation that she wasn't really happy about, because it wasn't something that she wanted to do. And even though she tried her best in working on it, she already knew that her boss would not even recommend it to be approved.

Speaking of her boss, she also expressed to Sasuke how the mere presence of her boss made her feel so small, like she was a physical representation of a failure. And just thinking about having no choice but to stay in that company, especially considering the pandemic situation, saps her of the little motivation in life that she has left.

Sakura still had a lot to say. But even she could not express and understand them yet. So she just ended her words with the truth that she has never felt so alone until right now.

That's when Sasuke spoke a full statement again other than his cues that he was listening earlier. "I'm so sorry that you are going through all these, Sakura. You're right, things could've been better so you didn't have to end up feeling the way you do right now. But you know that I'm here, right? And it's not even just me. The dobe is there. Also the rest of Rookie 12. Sakura, it may not feel like it but I want you to remember that I'm here. I never left and I never will."

Another stray tear escaped Sakura's eyes. "That means so much to me, Sasuke. That means so much. Thank you."

"Always." She could hear the smile in his voice. "I'm glad you were able to share all that with me. I hope it was helpful."

For the first time that day, Sakura found the urge to smile. "It was, really. I'm sorry it was too lengthy and messy, though. I...I honestly don't really know how to express everything. My mind's just so clouded right now."

"Hn. It doesn't matter, Sakura. It's okay if it's lengthy and messy, as long as you were able to let it out."

There was just silence after that for Sakura didn’t know what else to say. Even silence with Sasuke was comforting, so she just allowed that comfort to consume her continuously, never wanting it to end.

“Sakura?”

“Hmm?”

“You’re not weak.”

Gasping a bit, Sakura could feel the tears starting to brim her eyes again, but this time, not due to the negativities inside and around her.

Sasuke continued, “You’re not a physical representation of a failure either. You're made for so much more. I’ve seen you succeed in so many things, Sakura. And we all fail, but our failures don’t define us. Your failures or what you think as shortcomings don’t define you at all, you hear me?”

“Y-yeah.” She sniffed and wiped a tear with the back of her hand. “Sasuke, you’re making me cry again!” Sakura slightly giggled amidst her tears, and Sasuke could imagine that if he was beside her, she had probably slapped him hard enough on his arm while saying this.

He let out a chuckle. “Now look at you, you’re already laughing.”

“Your fault.” She huffed playfully.

“Not sorry at all, then.” Sasuke grinned on his own. For him, he didn’t even do much, but for Sakura, it felt like Sasuke had pulled her out of a deep trench by simply being there.

There was one question that lingered in her mind ever since she received his text message. And so she asked him before they even ended the call. “Uhm...Sasuke? How did you know? I mean...why did you message me? How did you get the idea that I wasn’t feeling my best this week?”

Quietness filled the other line for a few seconds. “Intuition, I guess. You’re like that with me also, aren’t you?"

It was true, there were instances before that Sakura was the one who reached out first, as if it was a coincidence that he wasn't at ease with something by the time she talked to him. The only difference was that, during those times, they saw each other often, unlike now.

Sasuke added in a softer voice, "This wasn't the first time, Sakura. Maybe – no – I believe it’s because we’re…”

Realization hit Sakura even though Sasuke didn’t even mention the word. And then she beamed, because honestly, she felt that too. They were connected, and no quarantine could affect that connection that they had.

Sakura muttered with a smile, “I believe that too, Sasuke.”

That night, she was able to sleep with a light feeling for the first time within the week. All thanks to Sasuke for reaching out when she started crawling underneath.

–––

June 2020 (c) AriannJS

–––

Hello. I don't know what this fic made you feel. But if you've made it this far, thank you. I'm proud of you, not only for reaching the end of this fic but also for surviving up until now❤️

I know it hasn't been the best time in the world, literally, but it is my desire and prayer to hopefully bring a bit of comfort to you guys while or after you read my works.

Here, Sakura had the assurance that Sasuke is there for her. For us, it's really amazing if we have a few trusted friends like that whom we could open up to, but sadly, some of us probably don't have anyone we're comfortable to confide with at all. But can I encourage you with this?🤗

Maybe your friends are busy. Or maybe your trust has been broken by so many people that you find it so difficult to open up now, but you also know full well that you kinda need a Sasuke to your Sakura especially these days. So let me share this with you...

"Cast (throw) all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." - 1 Peter 5:7 ❤️

Here's a thing, God loves you and cares for you so much, and that's the reason why you could throw the whole weight of your anxieties upon Him. He will listen. He always does, even when at times it doesn't feel like it. And whatever it is that you would tell Him, it wouldn't change the fact that He loves you just the same🥰 So go, throw it all to Him now, I pray that you personally experience the peace that transcends all understanding once you do so❤️

On the other hand, I know some of us have diagnosed conditions and the situations around us are definitely not helping us recover further mentally. I'm not an expert but I really hope we could help one another during this time so here are a few reminders:

If you have medications, take them regularly and make it a priority. If needed, it's even better that you restock early regardless of the quarantine status in your place. I actually almost forgot taking my meds twice this week! Hahahuhu. But thank God I was working on this fic in the middle of the night so I still got to take it before sleeping😅

Make sure to take breaks even short ones within the day, especially during work days. Take a nap. Play an instrument. Eat. Read fics. Watch an episode of an animé. Anything that would fill your tank so you could be pumped up somehow as the day continues.

Lastly, don't hesitate to seek help from your trusted friends. Please, don't. You are loved. You are not a bother. You are worth listening to. You are valuable. You are made for so much more.

I may be a stranger but you can also contact me if you need someone to talk to🤗 I have the same username on IG and Twitter too! Sorry this was such a long author's note, but yeah, let's keep fighting one day at a time, alright?✊🏻

And if indeed you have a diagnosed mental condition, here's what my doctor has told me this week, you are not weak. Your condition is a part of you, but it is NOT all of you😭❤️

Thank you for dropping by. God bless!

-A

#SasuSakuTwitFest2020 #sasusaku #ss fanfics #sasusaku fanfics #sakura haruno #sasuke uchiha #ariannjfics

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truxi-twice · 4 years ago

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this was a response to a different post, but the OP did say they wanted to end their involvement in the discourse, and I don’t want to make it pop up in their notes or anything, but, just...going on the whole “The Beetlejuice fandom is MEAN” thing

I guess what makes it so hurtful is that a year ago, Beetlejuice was the first Good Thing I’d found in a long while--I was so excited that one of my old fandoms was rising out of the snow, like daisies, and with such a wonderful musical. It got me drawing again. But now I’m just legit considering blacklisting it, even though I love so much of it, because..it’s hurtful, and at a time when I’m just trying to find Something Good And Soothing. Like I said in the other post--when I’m just scrolling through the tag and looking at wonderful art and fic and headcanons, and then in the comments or in the piece itself, there’s just something MEAN and vicious...it just pulls me up short. Asking that your work or post not be tagged as a ship? Sure. Saying you don’t want to see discussions or posts about a ship on your feed? Absolutely. But slandering folks? For shipping or for even just being *neutral* about a ship? Or talking about them violently? Like, if we’re going to be upset about violent art about an actor (and...yes, I think that’s fair. Like. wtf) then...think we should also be upset about violent statements or art regarding other fans (which I have seen. A lot.)

This isn’t a new thing. This was something I slammed up against like a brick wall over a year ago. I think it’s been around since the musical started becoming A Thing.

Honestly, I don’t know when “antis” became a thing folks defined themselves as. It never seemed like a good idea to me, because a group defining itself by its negative opinions about things just inevitably leads to trouble. It means that instead of just enjoying the parts of the fandom you love and spreading that positivity, there’s always got to be some little bit of negative.

I wish we could just bring back terms like “squick” and have done with, instead of actively making fandom spaces unwelcoming to folks new and old. No one has to like anything. I get why folks hate the ship--especially with the musical having Lydia come off much younger than she does in the movie (in the movie she was 17, and seeing her when I was a wee kid, I thought she was So Grown Up).

I also get why folks like--it’s worth remembering the fandom olds were growing up with Buffy and Twilight and loads of YA about Relatable Teenage Girls falling in love with Sexy Supernatural Guys. Like. Y’all. This has been a whole THING and for a long time. Not as much of a Thing now, but it was a pretty common teenage fantasy when I was a kid. (Like, hell. When I was 14, I kept writing embarrassing self-insert fic with Xellos, the immortal and ancient demon from Slayers. And let’s not get started on just how many of my crew of theater kids were ALL ABOUT Spike/Buffy. And don’t forget Labyrinth! So much Labyrinth fic out there) Having that ship doesn’t automatically make someone a pervert or a predator. (The discussion of “look, shipping is not morality and folks ship things knowing full well that they’re not healthy relationships because the whole ‘forbidden/taboo’ thing has a long history in sexual fantasies as well” is a WHOLE NOTHER DISCUSSION that I’m 1. too tired to get into 2. too bad at wording good to get into 3. too ace to get into) The idea of merely having a ship being a value judgment of someone’s moral character as a person is just...beyond weird to me.

It’s also worth remembering that other folks did not grow up with that. Or have their own reasons for hating the ship. That’s what tags and warnings should be for--I think fandoms should generally try to tag things they know other fans don’t want to see or want warnings for but likewise, there doesn’t need to be such vitriol against shippers--who, again, were usually *younger* than Lydia when they first fell into the fandom, and were doing typical teenage/pre-teen projection.

A friend of mine has talked about how the more wholesome a piece of media is, the more unfriendly the fandom can be. And honestly, Beetlejuice the Musical? Wholesome af. It’s just about family in such a great, heartwarming way. Who doesn’t feel all warm and fuzzy at Lydia going from feeling like she has no one to realizing she’s got two sets of parents and a weird brother/uncle/pet?

So I guess this is the trade-off. But.

I just wish in general we could be nicer to each other.

...this is a lot of ramblings, and I might delete it later, but it’s just been eating at me all DAY because I’m so tired of it. And because it really just upsets me so much to see folks saying this is a problem with the shippers when it’s a problem with the WHOLE FANDOM.

#disk horse #not even tagging this just want it off my chest

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mintyobscurity · 5 years ago

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Ok, so I'm curious and I saw that you're bored. Plus that ask Anon thing you posted. Figured I'd ask: tell me anything you want about Kihyun. What about him makes you smile, makes you laugh, makes you daydream about him, etc. Yes, I expect a long essay. ;)

Heh you were getting an essay nonetheless! I’m adding a break cause this’ll be long and I don’t want bother people who just want to scroll. This way people can read it if they want!

There are so many things I like about Kihyun, so much I notice aside from his vocals. Kihyun has one of the most stable set of pipes on a man I have ever heard, he sweeps you off your feet with his silky and soft voice. Being able to move around, basically workout and keep those notes on point… talent. I could never. His range is astounding, high tones that flow with effortless precision and he belts out perfect notes every time. To be that talented took hours of practice. Monumental efforts to make sure everything is perfect, and I’m proud of him. His skills come second to none. Such a strong, powerful, voice and I wish more people would recognize or see how beautiful it is, he deserves so much more recognition. If heaven had a sound, it would be Kihyun’s voice. Lisp and all! Also, this man is LOUD! His lisp is precious and I know he gets teased about it, but it’s part of who he is. I could listen to him talk all day and night. As well as dance! He works so hard for us and the group, and though the members say his dances smell, he is really a good dancer! I would love to see a dance duet with Hyungwon and Wonho!~ even Shownu! Kihyun’s dancing is so hypnotic and it enraptures you.

Kihyun readily takes care of everyone and I love that . He’ll play around and laugh along but then just as naturally, he make sure everything is cleaned up or no one is hurt and worries like the caring man he is. He may get frustrated taking on more than his fair share sometimes (and understandably) but for the most part he loves his members and looks after them. It’s heartwarming how caring he is and how hard he tries for us, like all the little messages he posts on fancafe telling us not to worry or saying good luck for exams or not to stress and trying to write some of them in english or a different language just to be closer to international Monbebe’s. He really the most caring and kindhearted man. Kihyun loves us so much and he is always giving great advice to Monbebes. I can feel his love through his words. I love him so much.

Cooks… Cleans… (clam chowder enthusiast, famed chicken lover and dipping his fries in milkshakes.) Kihyun breaks the (toxic) male masculinity that only women cook and clean. Again, he gets teased for having that type of domesticity, but that’s who he is. It’s a part of his personality. He revealed on the last episode of Monsta X Ray season one that if things aren’t done by his standards, he gets stressed about it and Minhyuk proceeded to call him a pervert. The stereotype of females having to do all the housework is broken by Kihyun’s actions and words. A truly inspiring man. Kihyun’s a gentleman! He is so kindhearted, thoughtful. He opens doors for people, well mannered man who helps carry strollers up stairs. He really is the best.

Finger flick master. As one of the top 3 Kpop idols with powerful finger flicking abilities, it always surprises me just how much power his finger harbours. It’s scary, especially after watching his victims reactions to the sudden pain. Not only does the abused area turn red, but Kihyun’s finger swells and turns red as well. I want to experience this once in my life. As much as it seems to hurt, many have said it’s refreshing and it’s something I need.

Kihyun, my gamer! It’s fascinating to wonder what games he plays other than GTA online, what consoles he uses. PlayStation, Nintendo Switch and PC for sure. It’s cringy to think he plays F*rtnight. And his skills on Overwatch are better than I expected when they went up against VIXX! As a gamer myself, I would love to nerd out with him over video games. This man has such a diverse range of talents! Amazing.

Oh and the freckle on his finger is the most precious thing I have ever seen! Never before had I seen a freckle on the inside of someone’s finger before until Kihyun. His neck freckles are just as precious and his high dimples are just as unique as he is. His ethereal visage has me swooning, a handsome man who has my heart. There’s a gesture he makes with his lips, a half smile in which the corner of his lip lifts. And the members tease him about keeping his lips parted when doing a photoshoot. Listen. This man knows what makes fans feel things! He’s sexy! (A shameless flirt) With or without a toned body or abs, Yoo Kihyun is perfect in his own way! He’s mentioned a few times about getting tattoos and lord help me when that happens.

When he is embarrassed he hides (mostly behind the members) and he easily becomes embarrassed when he’s the center of attention. He secretly likes it, but Kihyun himself feels second hands embarrassment even from himself. To take his shyness out, he will direct physical contact towards his members by pushing him or lightly punching if he doesn’t hide. Recently he does a weird move where he bobs torso back and forth and his head sways with it. Along with this, he likes to show off anything he can other than his skills. Adding to this, he likes a challenge. Kihyun likes the attention but again, gets embarrassed once his task is finished. His ears turn red and gosh he’s precious. Upon becoming nervous, a little habit is he will play with his lips by biting them or using his fingers. A possible oral fixation? Maybe~ I would need to fins a way to channel my embarrassment if I had to act cute on TV too! Ah when he does the cringiest shit and acts all confident, but when the others do even something slightly cringey he dies of embarrassment.Duality.

This man has skills in Photography and has his own exhibit, displaying pictures he’s taken. I know I’m repeating myself but is there nothing this man can’t do? His pictures a breathtaking, just as he is. Kihyun has an eye for details, for finding the beauty in things some people might miss. Even the pictures he takes of his group mates are beautiful! He is only capable of carrying out one task at a time, pitting all his focus on one thing at a time and ignoring any distractions that may happen. He said he takes pictures because he can keep the moments, thus he takes a picture. For the moments. Every mood and moment. Capturing the moments he can keep.

English skills! His English has improved so much over the years and I’m so impressed and proud. He speaks with confidence, any way just to communicate. He’s studied and learned so much that he’s practically fluent and can probably hold a conversation in English with someone. A diligent man.

I think his smile is probably the one thing that gets me. I cannot look at any picture of him where he’s smiling, from a tiny smile to the laughing smile, without finding myself smiling along with him. Big Smiles that you can feel with your whole heart when he’s really happy. That eye smile makes me weak.

Kihyun gives everything he does his best efforts and that’s admirable. He radiates dedication; to his skill, to his fans and to his members. I’m very thankful that I get to live in the same life as all of Monsta X of course. I’m grateful for being able to hear Kihyun’s voice, to see his handsome face, to be a part of this world with him even from across the world.

So, there’s no exact thing I can daydream about without thinking about another part of him. He makes me smile in many ways, makes me laugh at so many things and I daydream about his mere existence. There’s nothing I can’t focus on without letting my thoughts wander. I’ll always support him, always love him. The world is a better place with him in it.

I wanna thank a few anons and @stellarkyun for their takes on some of the things I have listed above. I am probably missing people and I apologize.

#it’s a long one babes #reply #kihyun #bias #gif #fave #the rose in my world of grey #my birthday angel

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vulpiximisa · 2 years ago

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finished Deaimon and was going to leave a review on MAL but got scared because it felt too casual and didn’t want it to get flagged or anything so here are my thoughts that are a little too cleaned up for a casual blog post

I had never heard of this title before and only came across it when scrolling through the Crunchyroll library. The synopsis sounded good and the first episode had me hooked.

Wagashi isn't something I'm super interested in, but it's also fun to learn about something, especially if it's steeped in tradition. The "girl looking for her father but finding a new one" plotline was what sold me but the store as a setting really brought it together to make a comfortable and feel good setting. (Also it being set in the less urban Kyoto added to it.)

The characters were definitely the strong point of the series, Nagomu being a well meaning dork and Itsuka, serious but a very sweet girl. I love when the adult is a goof while the child has to be the more down to earth one. (Reigen and Mob in MP100) The rest of the cast are also fun, but sometimes I feel like they spent too much time on the side characters. I understand this is a SOL, but I actually was hoping to get more story with Itsuka's dad.

It had been obvious that Itsuka's dad had been Nagomu's senpai from the beginning but they don't confirm it until the second to last episode. I think the only reason I didn't rate this a 10/10 was because I really had been hoping for a confrontation. Seeing how the series ended, I'm fine with it, and its like in real life, where sometimes you never really get closure and you just have to move on and grow from it. The end does imply that maybe they might meet again, and if there is a season two, I'm all ready for it.

I don't know if anyone thinks its problematic, but I thought the Nagomu love triangle between Kanoko and Mitsuru was entertaining. Maybe because I like Nagomu too, so I like seeing girls vie for his attention. With the case of Mitsuru, it's normal for a high school girl to have a crush and nothing came from it. With Kanoko, I liked seeing her as an ex, but still having feelings for him but she dealt with it in such an adult way. Love seeing adults handling romance. A+

The accents had me BAFFLED, because I'm huge on seiyuu but I was unable to place any of the voices early on and didn't want to look it up. When I recognize voices in anime, sometimes I can't concentrate and all I hear are the seiyuu and not the characters. I'm glad I didn't look up the cast but at the end, I was SHOCKED because I'm a big Nobunaga fan, so seeing that I had been hearing him as dorky lovable Nagomu the entire time, I'm shooketh. I was going to say that if they had casted lesser known seiyuu for the series, it would have felt more comfortable, like the feeling I get when I'm watching Ghibli or Hosoda movies, which feel less like anime and more like An Experience. But this didn't dampen the experience, I'm just noting it. Props to them for casting an actual young girl for Itsuka though.

I don't have much to say about the soundtrack, it's nice and mellow, nothing huge or notable to me. Same for animation, the series is low intensity so there wasn't any real need for too much effort. I'm not saying there was no effort, but the images and movements were all good and clean as can be, no weird off shots or anything.

At the time of watching this (2022), Delicious Party Precure was also airing, so seeing the characters enjoy delicious traditional japanese sweets, I couldn't help but think that there would be an abundance of Recipipis floating around. (If you don't understand, don't worry about it.)

Anyway, I don't know if this review would help anyway. This is a great show, very comfortable and heartwarming.

#pixi watches anime

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delusion-of-negation · 3 years ago

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so, I was scrolling through the notes on a post, one I said needs more nuance - tbh, I did feel a little disheartened by that reblog saying what I said was taking it out of context, when I feel as though what I said was the intended context, it was referring to prior to/outside of sex not that you should show during sex, and idk when that sort of thing happens I go to check if others do think I'm missing the mark. someone added in tags, where they'd reblogged my addition from someone else, saying thank you for me adding it because they'd experienced that sort of stuff and felt similarly about the tweet, and that was heartwarming. kinda don't wanna link or reblog since if they wanted it public it would've been a comment not tags, but I appreciated that a lot. like I said, I was checking to see if it wasn't just one person who thought I was wrong, because usually I subscribe to the idea that I am fallible, and if a few people think I'm being dumb that's at least worth considering even if ultimately I'd disagree with said few people, so it's nice when I check and see someone going "spot on chief" (not a direct quote), like a lil' bit of reassurance.

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aion-rsa · 4 years ago

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The Prom: Ranking Every Song in the Movie Musical Soundtrack From Worst to Best

https://ift.tt/3mbeEmh

The 2018 Broadway musical The Prom has always had a somewhat shaky premise, combining a quartet of narcissistic Broadway stars (Meryl Streep, James Corden, Nicole Kidman, and Andrew Rannells) looking for a way to be relevant again with a lesbian couple’s (Jo Ellen Pellman and Ariana DeBose) simple wish to attend their prom in Edgewater, Indiana. The two threads collide when the prom gets blown up into a civil rights issue. However, the stage show reconciled these seemingly disparate elements into a heartwarming tale of self-acceptance for all involved: straight or gay, closeted or out, aging star or varsity cheerleader.

Ryan Murphy’s film adaptation for Netflix, by contrast, is less successful. The awkward space between these two stories is more pronounced, with the Broadway portions plagued by puzzling lighting and editing choices. Combine that with some truly head-scratching casting among three of the four adults, and it distracts from the intent of basically half the soundtrack.

However, when it comes to all things prom-related, the adaptation is nearly as strong as its Broadway predecessor, and in some places utilizes cinematic elements to surpass the original versions of key musical numbers. With that in mind, we’re ranking all 19 songs from worst to best, keeping in mind that the rankings would likely have turned out differently had we been considering the musical itself.

19. Barry is Going to Prom

James Corden was disastrously miscast as gay actor Barry, who removed himself from his parents’ lives as a teenager before they could cast him out, yet is still clearly in need of closure. One can never shake the feeling of watching this straight actor put on queer identity as an ill-fitting suit; there’s more than one “did I just hear that right?” moment of him lisping his way through a scene.

He brings that disingenuously effeminate energy to Barry’s big number, “Barry is Going to Prom,” and tarnishes what should be a triumphant showstopper. Not surprisingly, Corden in a silver-and-aqua tux mincing through a fantasy sequence is so much less compelling than original star Brooks Ashmanskas belting in his pajamas.

18. Simply Love

The second of the two end credits songs seems to be a rejected number for Barry’s reunion with his estranged mother while also advocating for Emma. Despite the feeling Corden tries to infuse into it, emotionally it’s empty. The only thing saving it from rock bottom on this list is that there are no accompanying visuals.

17. The Acceptance Song

The first sign that the Broadway crew have overestimated their star power is when their big “rally” in Emma’s honor gets booked… at the halftime show of the local monster truck rally. They try to sing a song about acceptance, but neither they nor the monster truck enthusiasts are equipped to give or receive the message. It’s a forgettable song, but that’s kind of the point, isn’t it?

16. Wear Your Crown

The first end credits song is so overproduced that I had to look up who sang it—turns out it’s the entire cast, their voices blended into one unnatural warble. The only thing that saves it is that they do the musical credits thing where they match the names with the performances (here, it’s them posing at the prom with superlatives), so you can remember who you did or didn’t like all over again.

15. Zazz

As solo numbers go, this is not Nicole Kidman’s best; but then again, can anything really top Moulin Rouge!? Perennial chorus girl Angie’s ode to making yourself a star is meant to evoke Bob Fosse and Chicago, but winds up resembling a mere shadow of that brilliance. And, unlike how Kidman breaks our hearts with “Come What May,” this ditty could have been sung by anyone.

14. Changing Lives

As opening numbers go, this one doesn’t rank very high, in part because it has to do so much heavy lifting for the less obvious half of The Prom’s premise: Dee Dee (Meryl Streep, unconvincing at the start) and Barry watch their Eleanor Roosevelt musical close on opening night because they are too self-involved to authentically inhabit these historical figures.

Scrolling Twitter’s trending topics for a “cause” that will reverse their PR disaster, they find Emma and automatically decide that they can and will change her small-town baby gay life. With all that exposition, the song’s actual message—that actors and art can change people’s lives—gets lost. What is fun is intercutting the post-show glow with footage of Dee Dee and Barry in costume as Eleanor and FDR on-stage in what feels like a parody of Hamilton.

13. It’s Not About Me

This is a peppier, more on-the-nose version of “Changing Lives,” yet it strikes a bunch of discordant notes, like Dee Dee and co. sweeping into the PTA meeting to rally for Emma but really turn the spotlight on themselves. It’s too much cringe, too early in the story; and worst of all, Streep simply doesn’t seem to be having fun. Instead she looks like she has to force this number out to get on to the more compelling stuff.

12. Changing Lives (Reprise)

The reprise ranks higher than its predecessor because there’s just enough of an ironic twist to signal to the audience that we’re immediately poking fun at these self-obsessed Broadway stars. The line “We’re gonna help that little lesbian / Whether she likes it or not” is unexpectedly hilarious, though the CGI Times Square backdrop is tough to swallow.

11. We Look to You

Perhaps it’s not surprising that all of the songs about the saving power of art are clumped in the same section of the ranking. Perhaps that element of the show translated better to the literal stage, but in the movie these sequences are garish and don’t fit alongside the sweet, straightforward conflict that Emma and Alyssa face.

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This number does try to bridge that divide, however, with Keegan-Michael Key’s straight ally Principal Hawkins tenderly serenading Dee Dee with memories of her performing. Yet through no fault of his own, they still seem an oddly matched pair, which dampens the romantic effect of the song.

10. Unruly Heart

As Emma’s big number, delivered via humble strumming on YouTube that goes viral by tugging the heartstrings of LGBTQ teens everywhere, “Unruly Heart” felt as if it should have ranked higher. There’s a fun effect of Emma’s bed spinning, making the confines of her room seem bigger as her message spreads to millions of people; it also looks like something out of a Broadway show. But one is left with the feeling that this should be a tearjerker for where it exists in the story. This is likely the biggest casualty of the stage-to-screen adaptation.

9. The Lady’s Improving

This is Streep in her musical element, bringing to mind a mix of the whimsy of “Money, Money, Money” and the yearning of “Mamma Mia.” It’s also got that sharp cleverness that’s all too rare in the Broadway portion of this story, with Dee Dee resurrecting her starring role for a one-afternoon-only, private performance for Hawkins. Wouldn’t you know it, this unapologetic preying on his nostalgic fandom for a fictional character is what actually sells their oddball relationship.

8. Alyssa Greene

DeBose’s bitter defense of staying in the closet starts out as the seemingly low-stakes complaints of a straight-A student afraid to step out of line. But as Alyssa’s refrains keep returning to her mother (Kerry Washington)—complete with flashbacks of earnest Washington playing the helicopter-mom to a tee—it becomes achingly clear just how committed Mrs. Greene is to making her daughter’s life not be “difficult,” at least by her metrics. It’s also clear how much Alyssa feels she owes her.

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The best part is that this impassioned “I wish” song is not enough to win back Emma’s trust, and actually leads to their breakup instead. Emotional vulnerability, met with stakes-raising conflict! We love to see it.

7. It’s Time to Dance

Sure, it’s the triumphant final number, but it’s also so much spectacle (mostly with the ensemble’s too-cool-for-school dancing) that it’s difficult to focus on the emotional underpinnings. Reprisals of motifs like “Dance with You” (look ahead) and “Unruly Heart” buoy it up, and of course so does Emma and Alyssa’s big kiss. But this feels like the big shiny denouement as opposed to the less polished but more poignant songs that will stick with you longer.

6. Tonight Belongs to You (Reprise)

Just as “Changing Lives (Reprise)” recontextualizes its predecessor, the reprise of “Tonight Belongs to You” twists the knife: After being humiliated by the school-wide prank of the fake prom, Emma tortures herself with one last reminder that tonight was always about the “normal” kids. It’s the heartbreaking complement to her stalwart sense of self in “Just Breathe” (see below), with Emma confronting the truth that even if she loves herself, her peers and their parents don’t.

5. Love Thy Neighbor

Without a doubt, Rannells makes this song more charming than it has any right to be. You couldn’t have found a better choice than the Book of Mormon alum to point out the hypocrisy in cherry-picking which religious rules to follow. And unlike a lot of The Prom’s other attempts to shoehorn Broadway culture into this small town, the Godspell vibe of “Love Thy Neighbor” expertly gets through to these closed-minded classmates. If Rannells were teaching drama and the Bible to teens like this, it’d go a long way toward bridging that empathy gap.

4. Just Breathe

Pellman is earnestly wonderful even in songs that are duds, but this is the perfect introduction. “Note to self: Don’t be gay in Indiana” tells you everything you need to know about how lovely Emma is: wry and self-assured, secure in both her own identity and in who she loves, even if she has to protect that secret for Alyssa.

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Yet this inner monologue of a song is relatable to all adolescents who don’t quite fit into high school’s damning constraints, a keen reminder to just breathe and move past the moment, looking ahead to a place or hopefully someday a world in which they won’t be the odd person out.

3. You Happened

This bubbly number seemingly shouldn’t rank so high in the list, yet it’s the most authentic aspect of the story it’s depicting: Teenagers acting out the epic love stories they’ve seen in film and yes, on the stage, playacting at adult declarations of devotion.

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It’s the classic promposal that teens have swooned over from Laguna Beach to TikTok, but one-upped through boy-band choreography and a built-in chorus of high schoolers crooning “Youuuu happened!” like it’s the big love confession from When Harry Met Sally. Yet these over-the-top promposals don’t hold a candle to…

2. Dance with You

Emma and Alyssa’s sweet anthem has the sweeping strains of a classic love song—old-Hollywood romance that reflects their simple wish to not be symbols of a movement, but to get the same quintessential high school experience as their straight classmates. It’s also one that benefits from the movie expanding the scope of a song, with the young lovers walking hand-in-hand through their empty school and waltzing under ethereally lit pink trees. Every time the motif recurs in later songs (hitting different notes each time), it conjures that same swell of emotion.

1. Tonight Belongs to You

The fact that this song attained number-one despite Corden’s bad performance overshadowing the first verses is a testament to its infectious joy, and to the frankly incredible layers of emotion contained within.

Beneath the giddy veneer of getting ready for prom, there are so many darker aspects: Barry strong-arming poor Emma into a femme makeover in an attempt to live vicariously through the prom he never had. Cheerleaders Shelby and Kaylee singing “One thing’s universal / Life’s no dress rehearsal” as they step into identical limos in their cookie-cutter cul de sac, as if they could ever fathom an experience outside of their own. This entire song claims that the night is about Emma, but it’s about everyone but her, and that is so uncomfortably truthful.

And then… the moment Emma steps into the gym to find that the entire school played a cruel trick on her. Her peers singing as if they’re in the same boat as her, as they sail on to their real prom, leaving her the humiliation of entering the empty school gym, encapsulates the brutality of high school in a single song. They’ve turned the supposedly empowering Act I finale into the ultimate villain song. The Prom is uneven overall, but as enduring musical songs go, “Tonight Belongs to You” takes the crown.

But as with all things prom, every vote counts. How would you rank the songs from Netflix’s The Prom?

The Prom is now streaming on Netflix.

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