#screaming and crying help i called the vet after hours and thought the nurse was an automated answer and i was like ???!!!

[monstriiss]

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[atths--twice]

How It Should Have Been

An AU in which Mulder never left after William was born. Life has gone the way it should have gone, the three becoming the family they deserved to be. But now, Mulder and Scully are headed back to work and they need to find someone to take care of their baby boy. Will they find someone they can trust?

This was an idea I saw in August of last year. It wasn't exactly an ask, but a tweet for which I felt a spark of an idea. It has taken a few months, but I have finally gotten there. It's sweet and how it should have been for them. No darkness, no alien baby, just a normal life with their miracle child.

As much as I loved the revival, Existence was the most perfect ending for the show; all of them together and knowing they would be okay. We could have been left with the knowledge that they were not being hunted and were now together as they always should have been.

Well, this is a little, "what if that happened."

Hope you enjoy it!

“Mulder…” Scully said, in a tone he knew very well. He smiled as he continued tying his tie and waited for her to come into their bedroom.

He smiled again as she walked in wth William in her arms, his chubby cheeks flushed and his bit of fair hair messy from sleep. He grinned at Mulder, reaching out for him, kicking his legs excitedly.

“Hello, my boy. How are you this morning?” he asked as he took him and kissed his soft head, breathing in his wonderful baby scent.

William laid his head on his chest, his little hands grasping at the knot on Mulder’s tie. Lifting his head, he tried to put his mouth on it, but Mulder stopped him with a chuckle.

“Hey now, none of that,” he said, his hand covering the knot, kissing William’s cheek and then lifting him over his head. He squealed with excitement, his body wriggling happily.

Bringing him down, he smiled into his eyes as he heard Scully sigh beside him. Looking at her, she shook her head and sighed again. He smiled, reaching out his right arm to pull her close and moving William to his left arm, gently rocking them both.  

“I know you’re worried,” he said softly as he kissed the top of her head. “But… everything is planned, it’s all ready and-”

“I know that, Mulder. I do. I just…”  She pulled back and stared up at him as she rubbed William’s back. “I’m worried about him. About how he’ll react and what he’ll do when we leave. Will he cry? Will he be inconsolable? I don’t…”

“Scully…” He set William in the portable crib in their room, a few books and toys inside to hold his attention. Walking back to her, he put his hands on her shoulders and moved them down to squeeze her upper arms. “William has met the sitter and he liked her. She was great with him. We both vetted her. In fact, she was triple background checked-  you, me, and Skinner surprisingly.”

“Not so much so, considering how concerned he was when I was pregnant. Nor how much time he’s spent here recently.” She smiled and he nodded with a chuckle, thinking of the dinners and even some weekend afternoons Skinner had spent at their place.

William babbled in the crib, saying dada over and over as Mulder stared at Scully. She sighed and nodded, placing her hands on his chest.

“It’s going to be okay,” he whispered and she nodded again. She grabbed his tie and brought his lips to hers for a quick kiss.

“I need to feed him and then I’ll get ready.” She kissed him again, walked over to the crib and lifted William out of it. She kissed his head and left the room.

Mulder listened to her singing “Joy To The World” softly as she nursed William and he smiled, happier than he ever had been. Walking out of the bedroom, he went into the kitchen to double check that the bottles of breast milk were ready, the baby food they had started him on was labeled and measured out, and the numerous notes Scully had written were in order.

He made coffee, put bread in the toaster waiting to be cooked, and took out the jelly he knew Scully liked best. He checked to see if both of their bags were by the door, along with her breast pump, as she would need to pump at some point during the day. When everything was done, he went to the nursery, smiling at them from the doorway.

“I’ll take him, if he’s finished eating.”

“He is, but make sure you have-”

“The burp cloth, I know.” He smiled as he picked one up from the changing table and took William from her, making a silly face as he did. “How long have we been doing this, huh?” She looked at him and nodded with a sigh.

“I know. I’m sorry that I’m-”

“Hey, you don’t have to apologize. I completely understand, hon.” She stood up and walked close to him, smiling as he patted William’s back and she adjusted the burp cloth.

“I like when you call me that,” she said softly.

“I know you do,” he whispered back, remembering the first time he had said it and the way her eyes had lit up. And then the way she had loved him after William had been put to bed, asking him to only call her honey, her body still slightly thicker from the pregnancy, arousing him as he had fulfilled her desire.

“Hmm,” she hummed, licking her lips and he shook his head.

“Stop. Go get ready.” She pouted and walked away, humming under her breath.

“And make sweet love to you,” she sang and he shook his head again.

“Scully,” he warned and she laughed. “Your mama is a naughty woman sometimes.” He told William as he looked at him, rubbing his back. William stared at him with his blue eyes and smiled, putting his head back on his shoulder.

Mulder hummed as he burped him, relishing this private moment. Despite his calm demeanor with Scully, he had his own misgivings about leaving him with a relative stranger.

Mrs. Scully had watched him when they had gone out to dinner, but it had not been often. In the past six months, they had been happy to just be with him, staying home and learning their way in this new life.

Deciding that a fresh start had been needed after the stress of William’s arrival into the world, they had worked with a real estate agent. They had found a small three bedroom house in Annandale, roughly equal distance between Quantico and Mrs. Scully’s house.

It needed some updating, and so for a few weeks they had been crammed into Scully’s apartment, Mulder moving out of his own place, having no desire to be there anymore. He did not want to be away from his family for even one night.

Moving into the small home, Mrs. Scully, the Gunmen, Skinner, Monica and Doggett helping to carry boxes and furniture, it had all felt surreal. When they had gone and it had been only the three of them, William asleep in Scully’s arms, it had finally felt like a reality.

“We’re home,” he had whispered to her, pulling her close. She had hummed and wrapped an arm around his waist.

“We are,” she had replied and he smiled.

“Would you ever have thought this would be where we ended up?” he had asked and she chuckled, pulling back to look at him.

“Not in a million years.”

“But you’re happy?” He had frowned, suddenly worried, even though he knew he should not be.

“Mulder…” she had sighed as she shook her head. “How can you even ask me that?”

“I just…”

“I am happier than I ever thought possible. Is it what I had imagined for myself? No… But is it what I want? One hundred percent.” She had smiled, looking down at William, watching him sucking in his sleep. She had trailed a finger softly down his face and looked back at Mulder. “I love you so much. I couldn’t imagine a life with anyone but you- my constant, my touchstone.”

“Oh, Scully,” he had breathed, pulling her close again, mindful of William between them, rocking them slowly, tears in his eyes as he had hummed an unknown tune.

They had spent a month arranging the house, getting to know the area, and simply being. But they both knew they would eventually have to go back to work.

And that presented a problem.

“I can watch him anytime you need,” Mrs. Scully had said, holding him at dinner one night, smiling as he reached for her necklace. She had stopped him, kissing his chubby hand as she held it.

“And we appreciate that, but we can’t ask that of you every day, Mom,” Scully had said, smiling as she watched them. “Mulder is right, as much as I do hate admitting it.” He had snorted with laughter and they all laughed, William screaming happily.

“Maybe a part time sitter?” Scully asked, looking at him and he had nodded with a smile.

And so it had been decided. Mrs. Scully would watch him twice a week and a nanny would come the other three days. Finding the right person had been difficult. Many interviews with different candidates had left Scully discouraged, until they had met Hannah.

She was older than most of the women they had met, nearly forty, and she had been perfect. Funny, kind, attentive to both their needs and to William as he lay on the floor playing with his toys. She had moved from the couch to the floor beside him, continuing the interview as she had played with and spoke to him. They had both liked her immensely, but knew how easy it could be to be fooled by kindness.

Strenuous background checks had been performed, Mulder asking the Gunmen to look into her and unbeknownst to him, Scully had asked the same. Then Skinner had come over one evening, a file in hand to tell them all about Hannah Gale.

She had been hired and came over again, seeing where everything was kept, any questions she had had been answered, and vice versa. They felt more at ease, but there was still that feeling of worry, that old paranoia hard to push down.

William burped loudly and Mulder shook his head, his hand that had stilled as he was lost in thought, once more moving and attempting to release any remaining air.

“You’ll be alright, right? You like Hannah. And your grandma will be here tomorrow. Plus, Mama’s only working a half day, so she will be home in just a few hours.” He rubbed William’s back and closed his eyes as he rested his head against William’s soft, nearly bald one.

“I’m ready,” Scully said. He opened his eyes as she stepped into the room, smiling at them. William raised his head and reached out for her with a toothless grin.

They went into the kitchen, the bread toasting and two cups of coffee poured. Mulder held William as they ate a quick breakfast, Scully repeatedly looking at her watch and glancing towards the front door.

“Scully…” he said, squeezing her hand.

“I know.” She squeezed back, taking a deep breath and smiling at him.

He handed William to her and she closed her eyes as she kissed his head and held him close. A couple of minutes later, right on time, the doorbell rang and she opened her eyes, looking at Mulder.

“We got this,” he said, standing up to open the door for Hannah. He heard Scully’s quiet affirmative and he smiled.

Another tour of the house, Scully again telling and showing Hannah where everything was located, while she smiled with a nod as she held William.

“We’re only doing rice cereal and carrots right now, seeing how he likes them and if he has any allergies,” Scully said, showing her the food and Hannah nodded again. William’s schedule was retold, the notes laid out and Mulder gently nudged Scully, raising his eyebrows at her.

“Okay. I know.” She sighed as Mulder began to gather their bags. “I’ll be back at around one thirty.”

“Yes. We will see you then,” Hannah said, waving William’s hand at her. “I’ll take him into the other room and read him a book while you leave. That will help with the detachment.”

“Mm…” Scully hummed, biting her lip and nodding her head.

“Come on, Scully,” Mulder said softly, kissing William’s head quickly and stepping back. Scully kissed William’s hand and Hannah smiled at her.

“We’ll be fine, Dana.” She touched Scully’s arm and nodded at both of them, walking out of the room, speaking to William and making him giggle.

“Scully,” he said again and she looked at him with tears in her eyes. “Come on, honey. It’ll be okay.”

She nodded and took the bag he offered her. He opened the door and they quietly left, William’s laughter the last thing they heard.

She cried on the way to work, accepting the tissues he had added to the car the night before. He said nothing, not wanting to add his own worry and sadness to hers. It was different for him and he knew it, so he stayed quiet, offering her his hand, kissing her knuckles softly.

Arriving at Quantico, they showed their credentials and were shown to their separate offices. They were no longer assigned to the X-Files, it being left in the capable hands of Agent Reyes and Agent Doggett. They were now teaching at Quantico as it afforded them more flexibility with a steady schedule that worked with a newborn.

Scully would be starting out at half days for a month, gradually moving into full days. He would be full time 9-5 every day,  starting today, and he was both excited and nervous. It had been a long time since he had taught a class, but he was excited about this new journey.

“Well,” he said, looking around her office as she hung up her coat and traded it for the pristine white lab coat that was hanging on a hook. “It’s not the basement, but I suppose it’ll have to do.” He smiled at her and she tried to smile back, but failed.

Setting her bags down on the desk, he pulled her close and held her as they both took a calming breath. He rubbed her back as she wrapped her arms tightly around his waist.

“How about we take it hour by hour? We both have a class at nine thirty. I’ll meet you back here when it’s over and we can make out for like five minutes.” She laughed against him and pulled back to look into his eyes. He grinned and kissed her softly, knowing they would be too busy and too far from one another to make that happen.

“I’ll be okay. You better get going or you’ll be late.” She kissed him and adjusted his tie, patted his chest and took a deep breath. “We got this.”

“We do,” he whispered and she nodded.

“See you in a few hours.”

“Oh, I’ll be calling you. You can’t get rid of me that easily.” He smiled as he began to back out of the room and she laughed with a knowing nod.

He watched her walk down the hall, the sound of her heels familiar and it made him smile. She turned around before she walked out of sight and made a waving motion at him, telling him to get going. He nodded and hurried to drop off his coat in his office and then ran to his first class, arriving right on time.

He was only able to call her twice, both of them in a rush, their next class always fast approaching. She left a note on his desk before she left, telling him she was taking the car and would see him at home soon. There was no signature, save for an ink black open heart. He smiled and put the note in his bag, ate a quick lunch and headed to his next class.

At the end of the day, he caught a taxi home and was able to finish up on some things he had left unattended during the day. Sighing happily as he put away his work, he looked out the window as the sun began to go down.

He was heading home, to the woman he loved and their six month old son. Shaking his head, he laughed softly at how utterly crazy that still felt.

The lights of the homes in their neighborhood were on and every house looked cozy and inviting. He saw fall decorations on nearly all of them and it dawned on him that it was nearly Thanksgiving.

A couple walked by with a dog, the man pushing a baby stroller. He wondered what Scully would say about getting a dog. They had a decent sized yard and he had often thought what it would be like to have a dog to play fetch with when he had sat out on the porch drinking a beer. Maybe he would bring it up to her tonight, test the waters a bit.

“Here we are, sir,” the cab driver said and Mulder smiled as he saw the house coming into view.

“Thanks. Have a nice rest of your evening.” He paid him and got out, staring at their little house and smiling when he saw two pumpkins on the porch and a cornucopia of Indian corn.

He walked up the steps and smiled again when he saw the stick scarecrow family of three in the potted plant of red and golden flowers on the small table between the two porch chairs.

Someone must have done some shopping that afternoon.

Opening the door, he could smell garlic and his mouth began to water. Setting his bag down, he closed the door and took off his coat, hanging it on his cue ball coat rack. He walked into the kitchen and found Scully in front of the stove, stirring something in a pot, and holding William on her hip. She swayed slightly to the music she had playing softly and his heart swelled at the sight of them.

“Ahhhh,” William yelled, kicking his feet and waving his arms, smiling when he saw Mulder. Scully turned around and also smiled when she saw him, leaving the spoon in the pot and coming closer to him.

“Welcome home,” she murmured, kissing him softly.

“I like the decorations,” he said, kissing her again and she smiled.

“We were out and…” She shrugged and he nodded with a smile. “I didn’t realize it was nearly Thanksgiving. What would you think if we hosted?” He shrugged, not bothered either way, and walked to the sink to wash his hands before he took William from her, kissing his cheeks and head.

“So it was all okay?” he asked as she returned to stirring the pot and she nodded, glancing at him.

He smiled and nodded back, kissing the top of her head and taking William with him. Stopping to feed the fish, they watched them swimming around and then continued to the bedroom where he placed William in the portable crib while he took a quick shower and changed.

They all ate dinner, William sitting in his high chair and playing with his toys as they discussed their day, mostly focusing on what she and William had done once she was home.

“William was fine. He was sleeping when I got home and Hannah had even done some laundry and the house was very clean. I was surprised, but very happy with it.” She shrugged and he smiled. “I like her, Mulder.”

“Me too.”

They finished dinner and cleaned up, Mulder dancing around with William as they finished, his happy squeals echoing through the house. He was brought to the blanket on the floor, where they worked on rolling over and sitting up. He was close on both, but just needed a bit more time.

When he started to rub his eyes, Scully picked him up and they gave him a bath. She nursed him once more before he was placed in his bed for the evening, both of them watching him as he fell asleep, the mobile spinning slowly above his bed and playing a soft lullaby.

They left the room, closing the door halfway, and Mulder smiled at her. She raised her eyebrows and he bent his head to kiss her, pressing her into the wall, her arms wrapping around his neck. They walked down the hall, kissing and leaving a trail of clothing behind them.

She lay atop his chest, both of them out of breath, her thighs bracketing his body, his hand tangled in her hair. She scratched at his side and he thrust up, his body spent, but her touch eliciting a primal reaction.

“God…” she moaned and raised her head to kiss him, her tongue sliding slowly across his, his fingers pressing into her scalp.

She moved off of him, her eyes dark as they raked over his body. He got up and they both used the bathroom and brushed their teeth, before getting back into bed. Snuggling close to one another, he wrapped her in his arms, kissing her forehead and closing his eyes.

“It was a good day, Mulder. I had been so worried. After all we went through to get pregnant… there’s this guilt that constantly presses upon me about leaving him. Even if it’s only with my mother. It feels…”

“I know. And I also know, as I didn’t carry him and I missed a lot during your pregnancy, that it’s different for me. But… I was worried too.”

“What?” She raised her head and pulled back to look at him. “You never said…”

“No,” he said, brushing her hair back with a smile. “One of us had to be the stronger one, keep that worry at bay, and know that everything would be okay.”

“Did we switch places? Am I you?” She looked under the blankets and touched her chest, causing him to laugh.

“No, we definitely didn’t switch places,” he chuckled, pulling her closer, his fingers running over her soft skin. “As his mother, I know that your worry will always be there because… well, that’s what a mom does. Our lives have proven that that worry is not unfounded, but… we also have to learn to let people into our lives. I mean, we’ll vette them first of course…” She laughed and hooked her leg over his, her arm around his waist.

“It’s going to be good. We just have to learn how to trust people beyond our small circle of friends.”

“Trust everyone?” she teased and he chuckled.

“After they’re thoroughly vetted by a few of us, I say why not?” She laughed, kissing his throat, as he smiled and closed his eyes.

“I love you,” she whispered and he kissed her head, taking a deep breath.

“I love you too.”

She shifted, turning onto her side and he followed, spooning her with a leg between hers. She brought his hand to her lips, holding it close as she took a deep breath. He kissed her cheek and she hummed.

“Hey, Scully?”

“Hmm?”

“What do you think about getting a dog?”

“I think... we should talk about it in the morning,” she said tiredly and he smiled, squeezing her hand.

“That wasn’t a no,” he whispered in her ear and she chuckled, her breathing slowly evening out. He kissed her cheek once more and smiled as he closed his eyes.

It was definitely not a no…

[kangaroo-sniper-imagine]

Mercs who didn’t pay attention to their family trees

-I’m only doing a few mercs, cuz otherwise this would be huge-

Scout and Spy

When Miss Pauling introduced their newest recruit, The Thief, everyone was at least interested with the new blood. They were useful on the field; fast, silent, deadly, quickly able to steal the info case and dashing back to safety in record time. They were closed off at first, like many are in a new environment, but quickly opened up as soon as they were settled in.

The only person who didn’t quite connect with them was Spy (shocker). There was something about the new recruit that stuck him odd, something familiar about them that he couldn’t just put his finger on. The Frenchman’s son felt similarly.

“It’s like I already know ‘em; which is weird ‘cuz I’m dead certain we’ve never met before.”

It wasn’t until several weeks later, as the ten of you all were joined in the rec room, just enjoying each other’s company after a successful match. Jacque sat in the corner with Mick {not to derail but I totally think that they’re secret best friends who roast each other on the field}, both sipping at their drinks and idly talking as Jeremey sat with them, having a loud conversation with Jane from across the room.

Then they heard it. A deep, throaty chortle that was extremely unattractive, coming from across the room, coming from you

Both Jacque and Jeremy froze, the sound too familiar for it to be comfortable, eyes snapping to you, where you were wildly laughing with Travish. The Scotsman was sloshed and laughed along with your, his thundering laughter almost drowning out your own. Almost.

The sniper took a slow sip of his beer as he as well looked upon the commotion. He hummed in thought, and turned to the frozen spy. “Izzit jus’ me,” he drawled, gesturing with is beer can to you, “or do their laugh sound a lot like yours?”

Scout slowly turned to his father, rage in his eyes, but all Spy could do was watch you laugh that awful laugh. His brain slowly connected the evidence, memories of 20+ years ago invaded his mind, a dalliance with a woman who looks shockingly like you, the nose that you share with him and Jeremy, your strange obsession with your appearance, and most damning of all; the shitty laugh that you’ve seem to inherit from Jacque.

With a deep breath, the Frenchman stood up, determined to get out of the room and hide in his abode so he could scream in peace, but the sudden influx of the realization, rather, caused him to faint.

He awoke, what he assumed, several hours later, in a familiar camper bed. In his peripheral, Jacque could see Mick smoking a cigarette and reading a newspaper with one hand, a mug of coffee in the other. Without even looking up to confirm that the Frenchman was awake, the sniper spoke.

“Your kids are right pissed at you, mate.”

Jacque cursed.

Heavy and Soldier

Pauling was ecstatic to introduce more help, probably under the impression that this person to pick up the slack the other leaves so that her evenings won’t be filled with killing and covering up murders and thefts. Some young thing with a thick, almost indiscernible accent who spoke rarely and quietly. You were called the Electrician, for your… odd choice of weaponry.

Your gun was one of your own design, one you were very proud of, that rather than bullets shot out electrical charges, either stunning your opponent to help assist another teammate in a kill or give off a charge so intense it kills. You spent most of your free time in your assigned work shop improving your gun’s design and creating new weapons.

More than once, the team would hear a loud scream and the sound of a loud thud, only to come and find your door blown wide open and you stuck in the adjacent wall, hair shocked to stiffness and a new white streak added to your hair. Needless to say, you kept the team on their toes with your eccentricities. For some reason, your antics made Mikhail exceptionally worried. It was a weird knee jerk reaction he had, something that hadn’t flared up since he was younger, watching over his sisters.

About a month after your arrival, Jane caught you in his raccoon infantry pen, cooing over the animals that flocked to you. It was the first time he saw you smile since you’ve gotten there, and the first time he’s seen you out of your combat gear, now you wore a too large tee shirt and denim shorts, toes in the Arizona sand, scratching the chins of the furry animals. Deciding to try his luck, Jane approached you with a bellowing welcome, startling you, but you greeted him back regardless.

Jane noticed how much you liked watching the raccoons play with each other, but noticed you looked sad too.

“What’s the long face for, private?”

Your face pinched. When you spoke your words were slow, not used to English. “They have… family. I do not.” With a heavy sigh, you tried to elaborate. Jane didn’t mind waiting for you to collect your thoughts or your thick accent. Years of hanging out with Travish and Ludwig extremely sloshed had taught Jane patience in regards to others when they’re trying to speak an unfamiliar language.

“Mother was from… Russia? But father was from Norway, and mother went to there with him. When mother and father… died,” Jane’s heart twinged at the way your face fell, “I do not know how to find mother’s family in Russia, and father had no family in Norway. So I stay in Norway.” A beat of silence passed as you scratched the head of a curious baby raccoon that strayed closed to you. “I stay alone.”

Jane busted out crying, pulling you into a bear hug and vowing to be your surrogate family for as long as you want. He made it his mission to figure out who your family is. The first thing he did was write down the name of your parents, fully planning on hunting down your relatives after some good old fashioned American bonding.

Just as he was about to reunite with you after grabbing a baseball form his room, the American ran into Mikhail, who seemed pissed off

“You touch Sasha?” He accused, one large finger jabbing into the soldier’s chest. Jane couldn’t find it in himself to get mad at the accusation, he was a man on a mission to cheer up a sad kid and no angry Red was gonna stop him.

“No time,Sputnik! There’s a sad private who needs a moral boost and a good old game of catch!”

Rage quickly turned to confusion, then mild understanding. “Electrician is sad?”

Soldier gave a speedrun version of your sad backstory, even going as far to show the names of your parents to the Heavy. The Russian surveyed the sheet and he sighed. “That is not how name of mother is spelled.” He informed.

Jane scoffed. “And how would you know?”

Mikhail threw the American an unimpressed look. “Because family name is mother’s name before marriage.”

There was a second of realization.

“... is it a common last name?”

“... nyet.”

“... you might want to call your mother to confirm something.”

“... Heavy just might.”

—-

The next morning, Mikhail knocked on Jane’s door so early in the morning, the vet wasn’t even awake yet already doing his morning exercises.

The American looked up blearily to the Russian, one hand scratching his buzz cut head.

Mikhail looked grim. “Heavy call mother. Mother says that Electrician’s mother is cousin to her.”

Soldier mulled over the information. “So… your mama’s cousin is Private Zappy’s mama, so that makes us-

“Makes ME second cousin.” Mikhail insisted.

With an air of smugness, Jane flashed his left hand, displaying a wedding band. “Then I’m their second cousin in-law.”

Mikhail grumbled in annoyance and rolled his eyes, complaining in Russian. “Right. Sister Zhanna’s big mistake.”

With a sense of new found energy, Soldier stuck his chin up high and began marching towards your room, seemingly not aware that he was in only a pair of his tighty whiteys.

Mikhail sighed again but followed Jane regardless to tell you the news of your newfound family.

Medic (italics is German cuz lets be honest, who wants to translate all that)

After months of complaining to Pauling, asking for more on field medical help, upper management finally relented and hired a new mercenary, some bright young thing going by The Nurse.

You were studious, and compared to Ludwig you were very tamed. You saw this opportunity as a job to perform and not a way to finally experiment legally on people without getting arrested the way Ludwig does. You took your work seriously, dutifully dressing every wound, handing out pain medication, assisting Ludwig in his surgeries. You certainly helped lessen his work load during battle, helping with minor injuries so that the doctor could focus on his Ubercharge and on more serious injuries.

You two were professional to each other; despite showing you weren’t exactly sadistic you never chastised Ludwig for his somewhat cruel experiments, and you were always respectful to him and everyone else around you, which is something that impressed him (considering how noting the rest of the team is).

One day while experimenting on Heavy, you solemnly standing next to the doctor with your face covered like the good little health professional you were, the Medic fuzzed in German, adding, “I need a bone saw.”

Without him translating, you turned to your side and snatched the instrument off the tray, passing it to the doctor.

After a moment of thought, Ludwig spoke again. “You speak German?”

“Ja, I am from Germany after all.”

The russain’s rib finally took the blade and now was slicing easily. “What a coincidence. Which part?”

“Munich, but I left while I was very young when my family moved.” After another brief pause, you add, “I actually wanted to become a nurse because of Munich.

Ludwig didn’t mention that he, as well, came from the same city, rather, he decided to prod you and learn more. It was so rare to meet someone he could have a conversation in his mother tongue with.

“What in Munich made you want to become a nurse?” Reaching into Heavy’s chest with a scalpel, Ludwig began to sever the arteries attached to the heart.

“The University. My family lived nearby, and seeing the students come and go made me want to join them… actually a relative went there. My family was very proud of him and I wanted to go with him, but, ah, I was only a child.” Without being asked, you held out a silver pan that Ludwig deposited the heart.

The doctor started the timer, watching the mutilated chest cavity, waiting for the oregano to regrow due to his most recent experimental ‘medicine’. “Hmm, which relative?”

“Oh, my father’s brother’s wife’s…. something.” You replied idly, fetching a notebook and pencil to record the time. “Nephew or cousin’s nephew or something. It is a distant relation. Lost his license though.”

“Really? How?”

“He removed someone’s skeleton if you can believe it.”

Ludwig’s fist clenched so hard that the stopwatch broke. Dammit, now he has to start the experiment all over again.

[harry-sussex]

“Why do you care that Prince Harry got engaged?  What does that have to do with you?”

When I hear these questions, I think of the weeks before and after November 27, 2017.  And I think of the following story, one that is incredibly personal, but one that means so much to me.

This time last year, things in my life were... not so good, to put it simply. 

Over the week of Thanksgiving 2018, the following things happened:

My boyfriend had just broken up with me weeks before, and my best friend and I weren’t speaking.  I was lonely and sad and heartbroken and I couldn’t talk to anyone about it because my best friend and I were on bad terms.

My dad got on an emergency plane to Ohio to discuss treatment and surgical options because my older sister had just been diagnosed with Stage 2 Breast Cancer.

My grandma, who was in a private room in a nursing home at the time, was forced to move to a double room, and she did not react well (she would die barely a month later).  I had to be there multiple times a week to ease her into a roommate situation, after 16 years of living alone.

I was forced to manage an entire office during the holiday season by myself because my boss was on vacation and my dad was with my sister.

Between the nursing home, my extended family, my clients, and my boss, my phone rang seventy-two times the day before Thanksgiving.  72.  That doesn’t include calls I made myself.  All while I was trying to wrap things up at work, peek in the nursing home to check on my grandma, and handle cooking dinner.

Because my dad was in Ohio, I had to cook all of Thanksgiving dinner by myself.

My dog ripped his ear open on something while I was at work the day before Thanksgiving and I had to run him to the vet mere minutes before they closed.  He got blood all over my apartment and guess where Thanksgiving was held last year?  You guessed it - my apartment.

My dad arrived home at 8pm on Thanksgiving Eve, and I couldn’t get down to the city to pick him up from the airport while still cooking dinner.  My mom and my sister couldn’t handle the traffic so he had to take an Uber all the way to my house, except his phone was at 1% battery and he had never taken an Uber before.  My dad is... not fond of doing new things, to put it lightly.  I spent an hour on the phone - instead of doing the nine million other things I needed to do - because he’s kind of helpless, not going to lie.

Then Thanksgiving Day came.  My dad was supposed to get up early and give me a hand with everything.  They were at my house - all three of them - and I could have used a hand with the turkey, the stuffing, etc.  But, I didn’t get an ounce of help.  They kicked back, relaxed, and talked a lot about how tired they were from their busy week.  They drank.  I didn’t get to kick back and relax, and I’d argue my week was the busiest out of all of theirs.

I didn’t say a word.  I was tired, I was hurt, I felt lonely and abandoned and used.  I didn’t say a word.

Hours and hours and hours later, everybody was gone, except for my parents.  My dad fell asleep on the recliner, my mom was watching TV on the couch, and I - finally, after a long day of cooking and cleaning and acting the happy hostess - had time to take a peek at my phone.

And when I got to Tumblr, I knew something big was happening.  Rumors were buzzing about Prince Harry getting engaged.  These rumors weren’t just regular tabloid fodder, either.  We knew that Ms. Meghan Markle was in London, and that she had just gotten a manicure and a facial.  We had only recently seen them together for the first time at the Invictus Games in Toronto, so we knew their relationship was serious.  We knew that even the most reputable royal reporters were murmuring amongst themselves.  People who hadn’t been on Tumblr for months, years, even, were coming back in droves to be here for when the bomb finally hit - for when The Prince of Wales announced the engagement of Prince Harry to Ms. Meghan Markle.

Needless to say, I was freaking out.  Once I pieced things together, I literally screamed.  In doing so, I woke up my dog, and, more unfortunately, my dad.  He was stressed, he had been drinking, he was tired, and he hates being woken up.  I’m not going to get into the details, but the ensuing few hours were... not fun.  I had all but forgotten about the good news that Prince Harry may be engaged.  Things at home were just too miserable.

Then, the next day... nothing.  And the next day.  And the next day.  And I had all but forgotten about the one tiny thing that made me happy on Thanksgiving Day, the one glimmer of hope and happiness between a terrible week and a terrible end to my holiday.

And then, Monday morning, I knew my dad was still feeling guilty - as he should have.  I wasn’t answering his calls or texts really, not since he left my house the Friday before.  But, at 6:30 AM on the morning of November 27, 2017, I got the text from my dad that changed my entire mood, my entire week, month, year, even:

“Happy engagement”

When I first read it, groggy after waking up on a Monday morning, I had no clue what it meant.  And then - I realized.  I checked the Kensington Palace Twitter and Instagram feeds, and then I checked Tumblr.  I swore I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.  Once I finally came to the conclusion that I wasn’t dreaming, that what I was reading was real....

I screamed, and then I cried.  The happiest tears I remember crying in so long.

I threw my personal laptop in my bag and sped to work early so I could watch the photocall live.  When my dad got to work, I was engrossed in my personal laptop.  Prince Harry and his fiance were on TV for the world to see and nothing, nothing could wipe the smile off my face.  Family and friends were calling me to tell me.  My grandma - 88 years old and all but deaf, miserable in her own right - called me, yelling into the phone to tell me that Prince Harry was off the market.  My friends - many of whom were there when I stayed up all night for Princess Charlotte’s birth, who watched me take so much happiness from these strangers across the pond but who never cared themselves - called me as they woke to the morning’s news.  I could hear the smile in many of their voices when we spoke.  Their smiles had nothing to do with Prince Harry and his new fiance - they had everything to do with me.  Me and my happiness.  I will never, ever forget that.

It may be strange to be that emotionally invested in the lives and happiness of a stranger.  I don’t pretend that it’s normal.  But that Monday morning, after all of the horrible things that had happened in the previous week, and after a terrible few months, my heart lifted and my soul was healed, if only temporarily.  The happiness of these two strangers - one of whom I had loved for years and years and years - was everything to me that day.  Come to think of it, their happiness makes me happy, even now.  Sometimes, it’s hard for me to be happy all by myself.  But that day, when the engagement of Prince Harry’s engagement to Ms. Meghan Markle was announced, I felt so happy, so purely, purely happy.  I needed something like that after the weeks prior, and Prince Harry delivered.  I will forever be grateful for the timing of his engagement.

When the engagement interview aired, I couldn’t believe that I was watching it with my own two eyes.  I shut the phones off at work, locked the door, and even got my dad to watch with me.  He was sitting there, mostly watching me.  He’s not interested in the royals but he knew what this meant to me.  Watching Harry and Meghan together, officially, for the first time, was everything to me.  Everything.  My heart soared watching him shiver at the word “husband,” hearing them talk of their trip to Botswana, hearing Meghan talk about William and Catherine’s support, hearing about her having tea with the Queen and the corgis... the entire time.  I’m pretty sure I was a mixture of smiley and teary and ecstatic for the entire twenty minutes.  I cannot begin to put into words the feeling.  It was everything to me.

Did the engagement of Prince Harry to Ms. Meghan Markle bring peace on Earth?  Did it end hunger and poverty and prejudice and violence, or fix the environment?  No.  Not at all.  But on that day, on November 27, 2017, their engagement helped me.  I have always, always loved Prince Harry, but their engagement sealed the deal for me.  Their happiness that day saved me, if only for a little while.  I will forever be grateful for the both of them for providing me that.

The first time I saw my grandma after the engagement, I joked about the two of us going to London to watch The Royal Wedding.  She was 88, mostly bedridden, and couldn’t even make it out of the nursing home to come to Thanksgiving.  Yet, we joked about going together.  I would pick her up at the nursing home, I’d drive us to JFK, we’d get on the plane, and then I’d bring a wheelchair and wheel her to the wedding myself.  We joked about it a lot.  She didn’t even have a passport and there was no way she could sit through a six hour flight, but when I thought about going to London to watch Prince Harry’s wedding, for some reason, I always thought about bringing her with me.

Less than a month after their engagement was announced, my grandma died.  2:30 AM on the morning of December 26th, just barely missing Christmas.  I won’t get into the details of that day, but I was heartbroken.  I had just seen her the day before for Christmas Day, and she was happy and vibrant and full of life, and then she was gone.  Just like that.

A few weeks later, I made a decision.  I was going to England to watch The Royal Wedding, and I was going alone.  My grandma would have been so happy, so proud - once I came back safely, that is.

The wedding came and went, and my trip to England came and went.  I had a fantastic time.  I cried the entire time watching Prince Harry and his bride, the new Duke and Duchess of Sussex, pledging their lives to each other in front of the world’s audience.  It was an amazing experience and I will never regret getting on that plane.  Never.

When I came home, I went to go see my grandma’s grave.  The grass still hadn’t grown over where they buried her completely.  I sat down in the grass, and told her, “I went to England, Grandma.  I saw Prince Harry get married.”

When I think back to the engagement of Prince Harry and Ms. Meghan Markle, of course I think of the heartache and pain I was experiencing in my own personal life.  But, more importantly, I think of the pure, unbridled joy that was in my heart when I read the good news.  Their happiness made me happy.  Their happiness continues to make me happy.  I will never, ever apologize for that.

Today, I’m doing much better.  Can I prove that my happiness started coming back after their engagement?  No.  

But, in my soul, I feel like parts of myself started coming back after I got on that plane to watch their wedding.  I had lost myself to depression and anxiety for a long time, for many, many years before their relationship even started.

But, when I got on that plane, I felt myself coming back.  For the first time in so long, I felt parts of myself coming back.  And I can attribute that feeling of wholeness, of happiness, of pure joy, all the way back to the engagement of Prince Harry and Ms. Meghan Markle on November 27, 2017.

So when I hear, “Why do you care that Prince Harry got engaged/married?  What does their relationship have to do with you?”  I think, nothing.  It has nothing to do with me.  But their happiness, their well-being, that has everything to do with me.  I never thought that two strangers across the pond could bring so much joy to my life, but I am forever, forever grateful that they did.

[juminsmysticmc]

A non planned beach day

Pairings: Yoosung x Mc Ending: Angst, Death, mention of Suicide

This story is based on a true story of mine but please keep in mind, that it’s only based. Enjoy the story ~

It was a windy day when Yoosung came back home from work. Just when you heard the door and his lovely voice call for you, you rushed to him. ,,I‘m home!“ ,,Welcome home, dear!“ you greeted him and kissed his cold lips. You let them on his until they were warm enough. Yoosung enjoyed that very warmth. The warmth he loved so much. You could feel his smile below your lips and pressed his mouth against yours. When you finally parted, he was panting. You took his coat and smiled at him, your lipstick now a bit smudged. He liked that view, he was the one who did it like that.

,,What was that kiss for, Mc?“ he asked you and took off his shoes. ,,Mhhh...well...“ you mumbled and opened your jacked to show him your perfect body in a beautiful bikini. ,,Let’s go to the beach!“ you grinned. He looked at you, his eyes were big and he immediately blushed in a red tone. Yoosung quickly looked away and tried to mumble a no. ,,What...? Is my body bad...?“ you acted as if you were hurt. Of course he was afraid and whined. ,,No...! It has nothing to do with you!“ he tried to calm you. He really didn’t know what to do. Hug you? Kiss you? ,,It’s because you’re way too perfect...“ he explained and blushed once again. ,,Let’s go to the pool!“ he told you. But you still pounded. ,,No~ I want to go to the beach!“ you acted like a child. No way you would go to the pool. It was so warm today and you could imagine, that the warm breeze would be amazing on your skin. Especially on your pale skin. ,,Okay okay...but I still need to change the clothes.“ he announced. This notice made your heart flutter. You went off to prepare a few snacks.

 A few minutes later your husband was ready to go and followed you to the car while he helped you to get the parasol and a few towels in the back of the car. He sniffed after the hard work and opened the door for you, just like he always did. And then started the loud motor. You were so happy...

You observed the nature as he quickly drove to the nearest beach. Yoosung was still unsure. It was so windy today. He was sure that the waves were really unruly. And he was right because as soon as the two of you arrived at the beach you could already see high waves and just a few people. But you still were happy and enjoyed the salty breeze. While you unpacked your things, Yoosung tried to pose the parasol.

,,Argh! Mc it’s so windy that it keeps falling over!“ he whined and wanted to look to you after a relative warm breeze toppled over the big yellow parasol. ,,Huh?“ he mumbled to himself as he tried to search you. He found you while you entered the water blue water. The high waves crushed against the little pebbles and a few spatter met his lips, leaving a salty taste. The sound of the waves should calm him, just like a beautiful melody. But something about that sound was scary. He was afraid. It drove him crazy. ,,Mc! Wait for me!“ he screeched and tried to walk on the little pebbles. You gazed at his silly behavior as he tried to enter the water and decided to give him a reward. You looked around you and found big rocks with crabs and sparkling shells.

,,Hehe, if I give him a crab, he will cry...“ you muttered to yourself and chuckled a bit at the thought of his scared face. ,,That shell is beautiful...“ you admired the brown shell and tried to grab it. Without noticing you were surrounded by hard rocks who scraped your skin. Your heartbeat accelerated in fear. You quickly searched Yoosung who tried to swim over to you. ,,Yoosung don’t come here...!“ you tried to scream as loud as possible. The waves crushed against the rocks and were louder than your sweet voice. Yoosung looked at you with surprised eyes but thought that you were joking. ,,Not funny!“ he yelled back and tried to swim to you even through the waves were so strong and pushed him back. ,,Yoosung!“ you cried out as a wave pushed your head under water. ,,Mc! Don’t play such games!“ he snapped but quickly noticed that you weren’t playing.

,,MC!“ he yelled and tried to come. His heart ached as you were pushed a second time under water. It felt like a lifetime when he finally reached you, your skin wizened from the water. He hugged you as strong as he could afford it and tried to have some maintain on a rock but slipped. Just when he thought that he could lift you up he slipped for the second time, this time unexpectedly, and fell into the cold blue water again. He tried to paddle but quickly noticed that as he did so he came to touch the rocks.

,,HELP!“ he cried with you in his arms, already bemused by the whole water. Without thinking twice about it he tried to push you with all his strength to the place he was before. He thought that he could at least save you, his love of his live. But he didn’t thought that you would react the way you did. ,,No, I‘m not going to leave you here alone!“ you cried and spited salty water. You were a bit fuzzy but could still think clearly. You wished you went to the pool in that very moment. Just before you could reach him the water pushed you once again under the water. Unfortunately you were pushed that hard that you hit your head at a rock.

,,Mc?! Mc?!!!“ Yoosung cried when he lost sight of you. The cold water felt like hell, his tremblings hands were trying to paddle through the water and search a glimpse of you. ,,Mc?! MC!!“ he called you. All of a sudden strong arms pulled him out and was sitting on the slippery rocks surrounded by life guards. His salty tears were now mixed with sea water. His red eyes looked at the unknown men. ,,My wife! My wife is still in the water!“ he cried and grabbed the man by the collar. With his last strengths he jolted the man. ,,I‘m sorry...“ the man mumbled and looked to sea. Yoosung was petrified when he saw you lifeless body floating in the water.

 Your body now already blue. Yoosung couldn’t remember what happened afterwards. He just knew that he found himself in a white bright room. The taste of the salty water was still there, the warmth of your kiss already vanished. The fishy smell was sticked in his skin. Yoosung felt as if his whole body was numb. He was still shocked. Everyone tried to talk to him, his crying mother, who was sorry for him. Jaehee who was about to denounce whoever was fault at the situation and the doctor who was trying to find out if he was hurt. But he just looked away. His ears couldn’t listen to them anymore.

His heart was still beating quickly and his trembling hands never stopped to tremble. Just like the tears who kept floating down his red cheeks. When everyone decided to leave the vet, Yoosung had a flashback. The sight of your white dress, the first time he saw you at the party and the chats the two of you had. While he thought about these happy moments a few tears of happiness slipped out of his eyes. And just like a bad nightmare everything turned out black and the sight of your blue body appeared in front of his eyes. Yoosung Kim was sure that it was his fate. It was fate, that he had to lose the people who were important to him. The ones who could understand him the best had to die. He promised that he wouldn’t do it anymore but he couldn’t do but think about Rika who also died. So, in the end you maybe were similar to Rika. Much more than he ever wished...

This night he had troubles to fall asleep. Yoosung would wake up every two hours. Your voice echoed in his head, the moment he allowed you to go to the beach was replaying in his head and as if he could read your lips he saw your last words. To make him fall asleep the nurse decided to give him some pills. The next day Yoosung observed the blue sky. As if nothing happened yesterday, he thought. As if the sea was never agitated. Just like a terrible nightmare he looked outside at the blue sky. There was just the sun and the infinity sky.

,,Huh?“ he had to blink a few times. But yes, it was really you, who smiled at him while he looked at the sky. You looked at him and tried to grab his soft hand, the one you loved so much. And he let you do it....and followed you. Because Yoosung would follow you everywhere. And he wasn’t sad anymore after he was walking with you.

,,Do you think it was suicide?“ Zen cried at the funeral. ,,His body was found below his window with a blood pool so I would assume it was suicide.“ Jumin explained. ,,I think it was a hallucination that drove him to the window.“ Luciel guessed and transported a picture. The picture showed the two of you on your wedding day. On that day the two of you looked so happy and relaxed and Seven came to ask himself if you looked like that even now, in you blue paradise up there....

[septentrionsea]

I had so many dreams, and ambitions for you. 

...since the moment you were born really. Your little fingers curled around mine. My tears were the first you felt against your own cheeks.  Then, they were of happiness.  Now, of profound grief.  You’re still alive, here. Eight years old and beautiful. The world loves you as I knew they would. Your charisma, charm, ...and the manipulation. Your Father and I wanted to see you grow into the wonderful person we know you are inside, but instead the darkness came...and it took you.  Instead of fearing it, you embraced it. You are. In every way. My Son. It’s confusing, being proud at this fearlessness, as you met it head on as I did. But then also, the utter and incredible dismay that follows after you tried to kill the dog. Then, your older sister.  She regularly screams ‘the thing in that room, is NOT my brother”.  But I tell her it is you, you’re just....sick.  It doesn’t comfort her. Nothing ever can again.  The night you laughed under the door and started screaming ‘I hear you’, you lost everyone. Their faith, their trust.  Except mine.  Mine, I give foolishly. I am your Mother. What choice do I have? I see the good in you. I see the illness. I see the darkness. It takes one to know one.  I try, desperately to instil within you that your choices are what define who we are, that we do not have to give in to these impulses. And you only nod, and try to get something from me.  I am not a fool, I know you haven’t loved me, or your Father for years now. In your recent hospitalization, we drove two hours a day, every day, to come see you. You didn’t cry when we left. You asked us to leave so you could ‘continue to work on your behavior’.  Two nurses quit after meeting you. Because they said they were not prepared for what you showed them. Two other little boys were maimed. I had to apologize to their mothers. Over and over. They won’t be the last. I am sure. It feels inevitable.  After we took you to the Children’s Hospital, and left after twelve hours of working with Doctors, getting you an MRI, blood tests, talking to Crisis Prevention, Child Protective Services (begging them to help our family, and your sister from you). . . I went home and your Father and I looked at all of your baby pictures.  We sobbed together for hours. We wondered if this was the right choice? Doubt, filled our minds. Had we done the right thing? Were you alone? Scared?  The next day, I went to do your laundry to bring you sweat pants at the hospital. In your basket, I found a stolen knife.  It was of course, the right decision.  Our lives are literally enslaved to watching you at every hour. There are cameras here, when there otherwise would not be.  Oh honey. I would do anything to help you. To reach you. To show you your vast potential. They say your IQ is 149. And you’re gifted.  I didn’t need numbers to tell me that, little guy. You’ve always been the brightest star in my orbit. By far.  I wanted to see your first dates (who ever they turned out to be with), I wanted to see you graduate, or succeed. I wanted to see you grow. I wanted so many things and now I feel foolish.  My expectations and hopes taste like ashes and we live in constant fear.  You are relentless, in pushing to leave this nest. The world isn’t ready for you, Son. Not yet. Perhaps, not ever. Not like this, at least.  You’re on four medications. Abilify, Strattera, Guanfacine and Depakote. Enough to tranquilize a bull, and it doesn’t dent you. I get your blood checked every five days because I am afraid they are killing you. But, when you’re off of it, you try to kill us.  There’s no manual for this. DCS, came and went. Social Services, came and went. All of them utterly horrified and too afraid of you to help you. Every psychiatrist quits. No program is accepting you.  What the *FUCK* am I supposed to do?  I can’t reach you. You don’t want to be reached. When I say I love you, you immediately ask me for something.  $3,453 is the total we’ve spent on vet bills since you poisoned the animals, put metal in their bowls, or put down metal in the yard for them to step on. And yet that’s nothing to the debt in our hearts. I was fortunate to have the bank account to support this, your hospitalization, but now...I am broke.  There’s not an end. Not a beginning. No one understands what you are like, and what we are up against.   Your teacher called yesterday, to say that you’re her favorite. She loves you. She understands you. But... she doesn’t. Does she? I went through your bag, and you’ve stolen over a gallon zip-lock bag of food out of her room. Personal things out of her desk. As a woman, how can I unleash you onto the world? Knowing this is how you treat women? You’ve broken three little girls noses. I am scared...to death. Sick. Every hour. Every minute. With fear. Fear for you. FEAR FOR THEM. ALL OF THEM.  As your mother, I am your *LAST* bastion. I am your last advocate. I fight to remind people you’re not ‘evil’. You’re unique, and very ill. They think you’re specifically a genetic sociopath, with a genius IQ. They tell me you have extreme agitated bipolar mood disorder with psychotic impulses. That psychopathy rules you and you thrill seek.  At eight years old.   I grieve, because you used to be the sunshine that held this family together. Now you are the darkness that shrouds us all. You wake up at two am and whisper “I hear you...” under the door. And laugh, periodically, to make sure we’re all good and scared.  You’re so extroverted and charming. I can see your future, clearly. Every door will open for you. If you stopped getting them slammed in your face.  I tell you over and over, our actions define us. You can think anything you want, but please, choose life and your own life when you consider your impulses.  You say you don’t want to. You -like- this.  I am not religious but now I pray every night. To anything. Any time I think of you I just start begging all of the universe to help you. To stop you. To pull this out of you. To Empower You to make better decisions. To make you see how beautiful you are and what you can offer this world.  I spend $600 every 10 days on your medications. $150 three times a week on Therapists and your Psychiatrists. I can’t sleep because I now have three jobs, and my soul is sick because I swear to you baby, I’d do this forever if I thought for a minute it would help you.  But I can’t help you.

Oh god. I feel so impotent. All the goddamn time. I couldn’t save your Sister from you. I can’t save you from you.  I love you so much. More than you will ever know. I’ll never stop fighting for you. Even if you step into that darkness you’re creating and wear it the way you used to wear your spiderman blanket like a cape.  Every agency suggests we  “Just give him up”. --but where? To whom? To what?  But... WHEN DID PEOPLE BECOME GODDAMN DISPOSABLE?  YOU. ARE. MY. SON.  For all of these issues, you are only eight. There’s time right? A chance? To turn this around.  I am praying again.  Oh christ...  Someone help us. Help him.  

[my-mystic-messenger]

MC gets cancer

I mean…I can’t express how sorry I am @stinky-fandom-trash , for taking so long with your request. I really am sorry. Also note that I have no clue of medicine and while I did research all of the cancer types and it’s symptoms, I can’t promise 100% accuracy. I still hope you enjoy it! :3

Zen

As Zen at beside you, holding your hand while you laid there unconscious with a machine barely breathing life into you. He looked down at your fingers. Even they’d become thinner now, almost boney. Zen closed his eyes, fighting back the tears.

This was all his fault. People tried to tell him it’s not, but he knew better. Even if he didn’t cause it directly, it might be God’s punishment for being so stubborn. You’d begged him to stop smoking a million time over and now you had stage four lung cancer.

He could still remember the day it all started, although at the time he hadn’t known. Maybe if he’d paid more attention, he would have figured it out soon enough for you to have a chance of survival. From the way things going, he didn’t even know whether you’d survive the night.

You’d gleefully told him about having lost weight, despite not having changed your work-out routine. Then the weakness had started, working out together became hard and you were wheezing from things you could have handled with ease.

You started to cough a lot, but both of you shrugged it of as just a cold. You never told Zen about the chest pains until the coughing turned more violent and blood started to accompany it. When you finally went to the doctor, it was already too late. Zen was ripped from his thoughts when suddenly there was a shrill beeping sound, causing him to jump up and look around in confusion and fear. He noticed the monitor and the straightening line but before he could do anything, he was pushed out of the way by nurses and doctors. He watched, completely frozen, as they tried everything to bring you back and stabilize you but to no avail. The beeping sound persisted and in the matter of minutes they pronounced you dead and you were gone. Even when the room had been emptied and your body carried to the morgue, Zen remained standing in front of the window, looking inside like it would miraculously bring you back. Three hours later Jumin actually came to pick him up and get him home. Zen didn’t know what to do with himself. A part of his brain screamed at him to buy every cigarette and smoke them all until he got lung caner himself, but he knew that if you were watching you’d hate him for that. He had to stay alive even if he didn’t want to do it without you. Instead he channelled his emotions, worked through them the only way he could; acting. When a mere year later he won his first award he thanked you in his speech and every speech after that. Even in death you were his biggest muse and no one could ever replace you.

Yoosung

Yoosung had just finished his shift at the vet clinic and instantly made his way over to the hospital to see you. These days you slept a lot, were weak even when awake. In his mind he knew that your time was ending, but his heart couldn’t accept the hash truth. He sat down beside your bed and got out a book. A children’s book, to be specific. He read one to you every day he came to visit you. They’d been the ones you’d picked when the two of you had decided to become parents. As he read the Little Red Riding hood Yoosung didn’t even notice he was crying until the first, fat tear fell onto the page and smudged some of the artwork. How cruel the world was for you to get Endometrial Cancer out of all things. The two of you wouldn’t even have figured it out, had it not been for the fact that you just weren’t getting pregnant despite trying and trying. You’d gone for a check-up to see whether hormones might help only to return home with the news of uterine cancer. Yoosung blamed himself for not noticing earlier. He wasn’t a doctor for humans, but a doctor nevertheless and something should have ticked him off! Now he was not only losing a possible family, but you as well. Right on cue the ECG started going off, signaling that all of your vitals were dropping drastically. Yoosung dropped the book, throwing himself over your dying body and clinging onto it desperately like it would stop the process. Even when the doctors came rushing in, screaming at him to get out of the damn way Yoosung wouldn’t let go of your body. He couldn’t. Once he let go, you’d be gone forever. Multiple nurses had to forcefully pry him away from you. They assured him you’d gone quickly, apologized and the moved to the next patient like nothing had changed. Yoosung bitterly realized that for them nothing had changed. Just another faceless patient, nothing more, but for him his entire world had broken apart. Yoosung got drunk that night, heavily so. Zen tried to cut him off multiple times, but Yoosung pushed him away and ignored his please. All Zen could do was watch and wait until Yoosung was close to passing out so he could get him home safe without a fuss. What Zen didn’t anticipate was for Yoosung to set the nursery on fire you and him had prepared. He sat down and watched it burn, beer still in hand, but when the flames got too much he was too drunk to get out. Yoosung died that very night in the ashes of his future never to be.

Jumin

Jumin had stopped working from the office the moment you’d been transferred to the private hospital permanently. He would have quit entirely just to make sure he didn’t miss a single second of time possibly spent by your side, but you’d just chuckled and called him mental for even thinking it. Instead he was sitting in the chair by your bed, typing away at some contract while ignoring how long you’d been asleep for at this point. After about an hour Jumin’s eyes started to grow tired and he shut the laptop, rubbing his eyes after putting it away entirely. Jumin reminded himself to send Jaehee an apology for making her work more, shaking his head when suddenly Zen’s words invaded his mind. Not only Zen’s, but everyone in the RFA who were all criticizing him for working at all.

Zen was the angriest. Despite rarely participating in the chats anymore, Jumin read the logs and he saw the things they all said about him, cursing him for staying so calm and collected while his wife was dying of breast cancer. 

Doesn’t he feel anything at all? Those words were burned into his mind, keeping Jumin awake at night. They were so far from the truth, but how could Jumin ever explain? How could he explain that he wasn’t feeling too little, he was feeling too much.

He blamed himself, should have felt that lump in her breasts or noticed her discomfort at the touch, but he hadn’t. Breast cancer would have been so easily cured in comparison to other cancers, but then the cancer had turned into a far graver problem once it had spread.

He’d sent you from hospital to hospital, paying for the most expensive doctors and treatments, but it was too late. He’d known it for a long time, watched you die for just as long. To some extend, both of you had known this was coming.

When the machine went off, indicating that your heart had stopped, Jumin barely reacted. He folded his legs and waited for the doctors to arrive only to tell them to let you die. You’d begged him to do this, to let you go. No matter how much it hurt, he respected your wish.

When they pronounced you dead, Jumin requested a moment alone with you. He didn’t cry though, knowing you’d hated him crying over you. Instead he brushed your hair behind your ear once last time, pressing a kiss to your forehead like he’d done every night before sleep.

Jumin was broken, possibly beyond repair, but he had made a promise to you he intended to keep: to live his life the way you’d taught him to. So he made experiences for the their sake and not for work, lived it to the fullest. He lived for the both of you.

Saeyoung/Seven

Saeyoung was asleep by your side, head resting beside your shoulder with his arm slung over you protectively. He knew he had to be careful with the equipment attached to you, but his need to be close to you and touch you in any way he could had grown more intense with every passing day. You weren’t in the hospital, despite what the other members had insisted on happening. Saeyoung had figured that should this end fatally – which he still refused to so much as consider an option – he wanted you to go surrounded by everything that was familiar and loved by you. Instead he’d hired a private doctor, paying him way more than what anyone would consider worth it, making sure that you got the best possible treatment humanly possible as well as felt little to no pain, as you’d suffered more than enough.

Part of this excessiveness was due to guilt, Saeyoung had to admit. He’d spent so much time locked away in his work room trying to build a future for you, Saeran and him that he’d completely forgotten about the present

The worst was, that he could have stopped this from happening, had he just listened instead of having his head stuck in the clouds. After all, whenever he’d emerged from his room, you’d basically given him a rundown of all the symptoms.

First you’d lost weight, something he’d even noticed himself. Then the fatigue and fever had settled in, still nothing Saeyoung took too serious. Then you talked about pain on your spine and some strange swelling you’d felt and then in what seemed like a blink of an eye, you’d been paralyzed. 

As it turned out, you had bone cancer. Worst of all, it was in the spinal region which had caused your paralysis. At least that could have been prevented, instead you’d been bed ridden since then. Out of solidarity, Saeyoung hadn’t left your side, even now sleeping beside you.

He was woken by the shrill sound of the heart monitor and the doctor shooing him off the bed to try and restart your heart. Saeyoung watched but nothing seemed to work. He panicked, ripping the defibrillator from the man and doing it himself. But the beeping prevailed and you died.

It was something Saeyoung couldn’t deal with, instead drowning in a pit of denial. He didn’t grief the way he should have, instead acting as chipper and happy as he’d used to before meeting you. He fooled absolutely no one but himself.

He also became obsessed, completely incapable of letting go. Saeyoung even went as far as creating a robotic version of you, matching with an AI supposed to represent you. To him you’d never died and with the immortal metallic shell, he’d made sure you never would.

Saeren

Saeran had always been stubborn, unwilling to learn unless it fit his narrative. You’d begged him to stop harming himself over and over, treated his wounds despite him never listening to you. Now he realized just how valuable all that lost blood might have been to others.

Saeran looked up from his fingers, where he could still see the wounds he’d caused from biting his nails excessively on purpose, and let his gaze rest on you. You were thin, barely more than a skeleton at this point and he could see the drops of sweat gathering on your forehead.

He swallowed, getting out a tissue to gently wipe them off, something he knew he’d have to do soon again. You were burning up and the excessive sweating during sleep was just one of the many symptoms the both of you had ignored along the way.

It wasn’t fair, you dying. You were good and pure. The world needed more people like you, not less. Saeran needed more of you. It seemed selfish to think about himself in such a situation, but he didn’t know how to live without you. You’d always taken care of him, from day one. You’d done anything to stay healthy while he’d been the one through torture, drugs and eventually self harm just to feel anything at all. You’d done everything right for everything wrong he did so why…why did you get Leukemia and not him?

Why had it taken multiple nose bleeds and simple paper cuts continuing to bleed for hours at the time to finally get you to the doctors? Why hadn’t he noticed sooner so there might be a chance of saving you. Instead he had to watch all the good in his life die without dying himself!

When the heart monitor went off Saeran instantly screamed for help, shouting at the doctors that if they’d didn’t save your life he’d bomb the entire place without hesitation. After all, he had nothing more to lose once you were gone.

Of course all the threatening in the world couldn’t stop nature from taking it’s course and you died right before his eyes. Saeran pushed the doctors out of the way, shaking your lifeless body and screaming at you to wake up.

The doctors tried to stop him but Saeran had completely snapped to the point he knocked two of them unconscious before the staff managed to subdue him with a strong sedative. One look at his medical record and Saeran’s fate was sealed.

They locked him up. Not in prison, but a padded cell. He was deemed a danger to others and himself. What a cruel punishment, indeed, making it impossible for him to kill himself despite already being dead inside.

Jihyun/V

Jihyun ran his hands through his hair – greasy at this point, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d left your side to so much as shower – and desperately tried to bite and blink away the tears. Nothing seemed to work as they freely ran down his red tinted cheeks.

He’d just been looking through old pictures of the two of you together, traveling and falling in love more and more every day, describing each picture to you in great detail. You barely reacted. Even when he reminded you of the stories, your eyes remained glassy and unknowing.

Then you’d suddenly started to spasm, your face starting to turn an unhealthy shade of blue. The doctors had put you to sleep immediately, informing Jihyun that with the increase in not only the number but also intensity of those, your heart might give in soon.

And to think that it had all started with a bit of nausea, fatigue, drowsiness and the occasional headache. Then the headaches got worse and so did your memory. Suddenly walking had become harder,constantly bumped into things and yet neither of you worried.

Until you started going blind. At first your vision simply got a little fuzzy, like you possibly needed glasses, but then the edges of your sight didn’t just smear they started to turn black and you knew you had to see a doctor.

It turned out that you had brain cancer, in your temporal lobe to be precise. There was nothing that could be done, the cancer was too advanced, so you not only lost chunks of your memory but your vision as well. 

It seemed like a cruel twist of fate, and no matter how much you assured Jihyun that you weren’t angry, he couldn’t believe it. He’d chosen to let Rika blind him and you’d barely convinced him to save his eyes. Now you’d never get to see the art he created with them ever again.

Jihyun took a deep breath, wiping away the tears so you wouldn’t hear him cry if you woke up. He was just about to get up and get something from the vending machine, when your body started to shake violently. The doctors came immediately, but your body gave in and in a heartbeat, you were gone.

Jumin had to practically carry Jihyun out of the hospital, taking him to his apartment instead of the one you’d shared. He knew it would have killed him to see it in such a state. In fact, Jihyun didn’t return to the apartment at all, selling it and everything inside.

He went close to catatonic in the months following your death. He didn’t smile or even speak anymore. He barely ate. When he managed to sleep at all, his dreams were riddled with nightmares. That night you hadn’t died alone. Jihyun had died along with you and nothing but a shell remained.

[fluffyllamas-23]

If there’s an OC’s anonymous, I think I should join bc I have no self control and made some new ones (honestly, I blame @emeraldthread for enabling me XD)

But they also helped me out a ton, so shoutout to them.  Fic is below the cut, I hope you enjoy :)

(there’s some nausea and vomit mention, just a warning)

Life doesn’t often work out the way we envision it as a child.

When Sean was a child, for example, he had dreams and a plan, neither of which had panned out. He’s twenty seven, and had thought that his music career would have taken off by now. He thought that he would have been living in a house at this point, and not in a crappy, one bedroom apartment with a heater that only works half the time if he’s lucky.

He never thought he’d be stuck working shitty shifts at the front desk in a hotel.

His schedule is awful, with rotating shifts of two pm to ten pm, ten pm to six am and six am to two pm.

Last night was his two to ten, which means that today is his six to two pm shift.  Of course, it sucks, but it wouldn’t be so bad if he didn’t wake up with a monster of a head cold.

Sean groans as he rolls over in bed. His body is screaming at him to call into work and go back to sleep, and with each stab of pain in his head he’s more and more convinced that he needs to. Except, it’s two in the morning, and he’s too tired to move.  His phone is too far away, and he feels too heavy to roll over and grab it.  

He sniffles, his sinuses feeling like they’ve been filled with cement, and his whole face feels heavy.

Pepper, his twelve week grey and white husky puppy, whines at the first sneeze, pressing her nose into his hand.  He pats her head as a second, third and fourth sneeze rip out of his throat, and then he lets out a miserable, scratchy groan. He’s starting to feel a little dizzy - a little fuzzy around the edges.  Pepper whines louder, standing up to lick his face before she starts trying to nudge him out of bed.

“Pep,” he croaks, pushing her away weakly, “stop.”

“Pepper,” he grimaces, drawing her name out when she barks and exacerbates his headache.  Pepper whines again, and plops down next to him, putting her head on his chest.  

As it gets later and later, and each sneeze makes him stuffier and stuffier, he becomes more and more aware that he really needs to call into work.  By the time he finally manages to grab his phone, it’s five fifteen, forty five minutes before his shift, and way too late to call out.  

He’s suddenly overwhelmed by how much he needs to do to get ready - he still needs to feed Pepper, get dressed, eat breakfast (although, the thought of eating anything makes him nauseous, so he figures he’ll skip that part).  It’s only two things (three if he decides to choke down a granola bar), and not a terribly long to-do list, but he’s already exhausted.  He’s been up for three hours at this point, has been sneezing almost the entire time, and he just wants to sleep. Pepper hasn’t moved from her spot next to him, opting instead to lay protectively over his chest.  

“Alright, girl,” he sniffles, his voice miserably congested. “Time to get up…you need to get off of me.”

He manages to drug himself with enough medicine that his symptoms (i.e sneezing) stay mostly at bay but not enough that he’ll fall asleep. He wants to, because he’s a little fuzzy headed, but daytime cold medicine always make it impossible for him to sleep, which, in this case, is very helpful.  

He sniffles, rubbing at his eyes as he’s hit with an overwhelming urge to lie on the floor. Unfortunately, his boss is a dick and even though he knows how miserable Sean is, if he’s not running a fever, he refuses to send him home.  

Sean twists to the side, sneezing for what feels like the thousandth time that morning. He fumbles with the tissues in his pocket, brings a crumpled one up to wipe at his nose and then shoves it back into his pocket.

“You sound awful,” Mason grimaces.

Sean hums in agreement, blinking slowly, “yeah.”

“That’s it?”

Sean furrows his eyebrows at his friend, "when’d you get here?”

“…Same time you did…like always.  We have the same Wednesday shift. Are you sure you don’t have a fever?”

“Mmmmnh…no fever…s’cold medicine.”

“You should drug yourself more often, I like it when you’re a little out of it.  Less annoying, ya know?” He says, crouching down so he can grab something from the cabinet underneath the reception desk.

“Shit, Mason,” Sean says, eyes widening as he stares at the empty space in front of him.

“What?” Mason asks, voice muffled from inside the cabinet.

“Where’d you go?” Sean asks, waving his arms in front of him, where Mason was standing five seconds earlier.

Mason stands up, placing a stack of room keys in front of them, “what?”

“You’re back!” Sean cries happily, throwing his arms around Mason.  

“You really need to go home,” Mason chuckles, squirming out of Sean’s grip.  “I need you-“

“Mason, I’m flattered, but no.”

“Shut up, you moron,” Mason laughs, “we need to do wake up calls, and I want to see this.”

Sean blinks, “see what?”

“See you make phone calls while you’re high off your ass.”

Sean blinks again, staring down at the phone, “right now?”

“Yeah.”

“‘Kay,” he mumbles, sniffling, his vision swimming as he dials the number.

“Hello?” A voice chirps on the other end, “who is this?”

“Hey, yo…uh this is your wake up call.”

“…I’m sorry?” She says, confusion coloring her voice.

“Whoops, excuse me, heh, this is the front desk at…the, um…” Sean squints in confusion.

“Oceanside-“ Mason starts.

“OCEANSIDE HOTEL,” Sean cries, slamming his hand on the counter, “that’s it.  Yeah, so your wake up call.  This is it.”

“I’m sorry, I think you have the wrong number.”

“…oh. Sorry.  Shit it’s early, I’m sorry.”

The person on the other end chuckles lightly, “don’t worry, I was up for the day already.”

“Oh…good.  Good…hey, you sound cute-“

“-Aaaaaand that’s where I cut you off,” Mason grins, taking the phone from him to hang up.

Sean squawks indignantly, “hey, I was having a conversation.”

“Yeah, and you’ll thank me when the meds wear off.”

He ends up calling that same number by accident a good five times.  The woman on the other end is way more patient than Sean or Mason would have been, although Sean suspects it’s because he sounds like hell and she feels bad for him. Either way, talking to her was the highlight of his day, and he was slightly frustrated when Mason took the phone away.  

By the time he’s finished with his shift, he’s dead on his feet, and is completely miserable.  He has tomorrow off, which he’s grateful for, because he feels like death.

“Bye, man,” Mason say, grabbing his keys and wallet from his locker.

“Mmhmm...bye,” he rasps, coughing into the crook of his elbow. All of the talking was murder on his throat, and now his voice is virtually gone.

Mason grimaces, “do you need a ride home?”

“Nah, I’ll be fine.”

“Okay...well...go home and sleep. And don’t crash and die on your way home. I’ll kill you.”

“Okay.”

Mason stares at him, “you’re not even going to comment on that? Damn you really are out of it.”

“What are you talking about?” Sean asks, irritation lacing his tone as his sinuses buzz again.

“Never mind, just drive-“ Sean sneezes into his shoulder, and mason flinches at how tired and itchy it sounds. “-safe.”

Sean sniffles, “I will.”

Mason nods, “good. Call me if you need anything...or just...someone to come make fun of you because I can do both.”

Sean flips him off weakly, opting not to say anything, because he feels like he’s on the verge of a coughing fit and his throat is killing him.

Mason grins, “okay go sleep. Don’t die.”

When he gets home at two thirty, he collapses into bed and only wakes up to feed Pepper later that night.  

He doesn’t even really remember waking up, but he’s vaguely aware of walking into the kitchen and almost being bowled over by the excited husky when he drops the food into her dish.  

“Chill,” he croaks, pushing at her weakly as she jumps all over him. “Pep, stop, I’m tired.”

She finally calms down enough so that he can stand up and go back to bed.  

“Night,” he mumbles, patting her before walking back into his room. 

He doesn’t sleep well.  He spends most of his night tossing and turning, and when he finally wakes around nine, he feels severely sleep deprived. His brain feels muddled, but even through the haze, he can tell something is wrong.  

It takes a couple of minutes for him to realize that Pepper isn’t on the bed next to him.  He hears her whimpering from the other room, and after he wills himself to get out of bed, he walks out into the kitchen.

Pepper is lying on her side on the floor, crying weakly, and Sean’s heart drops.  

“Pepper? Pep? What’s the matter, girl?” He coos, dropping down on his knees next to her. “Alright, let’s go to the vet, yeah? You’ll feel better soon, I promise.”

He scoops her up, stumbling when he stands upright.  He sniffles, a cough bubbling in his chest as he hurries to the car.

Mason is slumped down in the chair in the exam room, waiting for Doctor Jones to come in and check on Pepper, and maybe let him know what the hell is going on. Pepper is completely listless, a stark change from the hyper puppy that had nearly knocked him over the previous night.

What had happened? She was fine.  

There’s a knock on the door, which breaks him out of his thoughts, and he manages to look up when it opens.  A beautiful, tall brunette who looks a bit younger than him walks in, and he frowns in confusion.

“Uh...you’re not Pepper’s regular doctor.”

“Doctor Jones is out of the office today,” she explains, “I’m Doctor Flynn. Did the nurse not tell you?”

“Um,” he sniffles, rubbing at his forehead, “she may have? I’m a little out of it, sorry.”

“It’s alright.  So what’s wrong with Pepper today?”

“I’m not sure...she was crying this morning when I woke up, and she hasn’t really...moved since then.”

“How’s she been eating?”

He blinks, “um...I don’t think she ate dinner last night? She ate breakfast though.”

“Has she vomited?”

He shakes his head, “no.”

“Okay, well we’ll take her for x-rays,” she says, stroking Pepper. “I kind of get the feeling she might have eaten something she shouldn’t have. Lots of puppies do it.”

The vet pokes her head out of the room, and Sean rubs at his aching temples. Now that the panic and adrenaline have worn off, he’s starting to feel miserable again.

“She puts everything in her mouth, I wouldn’t be surprised,” he sniffles when she comes back in the room., stifling a sneeze into the crook of his elbow.

She grimaces, “bless you.  Caught that bug going around?”

He nods, rubbing his throat, “yeah, um...I probably would have been fine if I didn’t have to work tomorrow-uh...I mean yesterday.”

“Where do you work?”

“Oceanside hotel,” he rasps, clearing his throat.

She bursts out laughing, “by chance did you happen to call a wrong number yesterday...five times?”

His eyes widen, “that was you?”

She grins, “it was, I’m Lucy.”

“Sean...I’m so sorry,” he groans. “I was so drugged up on cold meds...all of the numbers were blurring together.”

“It’s fine, I promise.  I thought it was great,” she chuckles.

“I was right…you are cute.”

“So are you,” she says without missing a beat, and shoots him a cute, dimpled smile.  “Pepper is going to get some x-rays. We’re going to see what’s going on.”

He sighs in relief, which sends him into a coughing fit, “thank you so much.”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Hey, so I know this is a long shot, but you don’t happen to have any people medicine?”

“I have some Advil...I don’t think that’ll help you much, though.”

“Not really,” he mumbles, “but thank you.”

She nods, eyeing him intently, “hey, feel free to say no, but can I buy you a coffee...or cup of tea, and maybe some medicine? Pepper is my last patient and you look like you want to die.”

He blinks slowly, not sure if he’s hallucinating or not, “are you asking me out?”

“What if I am?” She asks, crossing her arms and raising a brow at him.

He coughs into the crook of his elbow, “are vets supposed to date their patient’s owners?”

She smirks, “technically Pepper isn’t my patient, I’m just filling in for Doctor Jones.”

He sniffles again, “uh...yeah. That would be great, my throat is killing me.”

He didn’t even need to say it - his voice is hoarse with only a roughness that comes from a severe sore throat.  Every word sounds painful to speak, and she doesn’t miss how much he grimaces each time he swallows.  

“Alright, awesome!” She chirps.

“How is Pepper your last patient?” He frowns, “it’s ten in the morning.”

“I work the ten to ten shift.”

He blinks, “...how do you work zero minutes?”

“...I...the ten pm to ten am shift?”

“Fuck,” he groans, “I promise I’m smarter than this.”

She bursts out laughing, “I’m really spacey when I’m sick, too, don’t worry.”

Somehow when Sean was sleeping, Pepper had managed to chew up something (he was guessing it was the carpeting and/or rug in the kitchen) and swallowed it.  It would have been fine, had she not also swallowed a string, which wrapped around the foam and whatever else she had eaten.  Now, she had a large blockage in her stomach that needed surgery.  

Sean was near tears, which was partly due to the fever that had spiked halfway through Pepper’s x-rays, partly due to how worried he is for Pepper, and partly due to the guilt he was feeling for leaving her alone in the living room instead of bringing her into his room while he slept.  

Lucy keeps telling him that she’s going to be okay, that they have one of the best surgeons on staff, and that their staff will be monitoring her carefully to make sure she’ll be okay.  

He just wants to go home at this point, and he tells Lucy that they’ll have to take a rain check because he needs to go lie down.  

Lucy walks out with him, yawning tiredly.  Sean trudges to his car, and lets out a strangled croak of frustration when he peers through the window and sees not only his keys in the ignition, but his phone on the driver’s seat.

“What happened?” She asks, walking over to him.  

He blinks away the tears that are gathered in his eyes, and clears his throat, “I locked my keys and phone in my car...ugh, I just wanted to get Pepper inside...I must have forgotten to grab them”

“Well shoot,” she frowns.

“Um...can I borrow your phone?” He muffles a sneezing fit into the crook of his elbow, and then sniffles miserably, “I’ll put it on speaker…and try not to touch it too much.”

She purses her lips, “you’re miserable.”

He shrugs, “yeah.”

“I promise I’m not trying to sound pushy, but I have a very comfortable couch and a lot of fluffy blankets,” she adds when she sees him shiver, “and a bunch of medicine and tea and soup.  Come back to my place and sleep, I’ll drive you back here tomorrow and I’ll let you borrow my phone and you can call a tow truck.”

The offer is more than tempting.  He’s aching to lie down, aching to go to sleep, because this day has been hell (and it’s still early), and aching to be drugged with cold meds.

“Okay...that would be great.  I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

“Alright.  You can buy me a drink once you’re feeling better.”

He grins lazily, “deal.”

She smiles, tucking a lock of her curly brunette hair behind her ear, “ready to go?”

“More than ready,” he mumbles, muffling a cough into the crook of his elbow.

[mystic-messenger-writing]

What about rfa discovering they got a terminal illness and having to tell MC and they rest of the group? Would it differ if MC isn't their S/O but just a close friend instead?

Oh my gosh anonny you hit me right in the feels! I kind of realized that I didn’t make MC their friend but their partner, I’m so sorry about that but hey that just means more angst right? But seriously if you want me to change it, let me know! I almost cried like five times when writing this that’s why they’re so long oops. But I hope that you enjoy!! ^^

Yoosung

For the past couple of days, Yoosung had a persistent pain in his chest and a terrible cough

He didn’t think much of it, just assuming it was a cold and continued his work at the vet clinic

One day when you went for a surprise visit to give Yoosung his lunch, he greeted you with a huge smile

As the two of you went to the break room, Yoosung felt dizzy and started coughing up blood, passing out in the process

You screamed for anyone to help as you held Yoosung unconscious body, both of you covered in his crimson blood

After being rushed to the hospital, you held Yoosung’s hand tightly as he laid in the hospital bed, the doctor then entered the room

He gave the two of you a sympathetic look and told you both that Yoosung had a form of incurable lung cancer and that he had three months left to live

You burst into tears at the doctor’s words but felt a warm hand wipe your tears away

Yoosung smiled sadly at you, tears of his own forming, as he reassured you that everything would be okay

The two of you immediately told the RFA members, all whom were stunned and saddened by the news

But you were determined to make Yoosung’s final months the happiest because you knew that your boyfriend deserved it

You brought Yoosung his laptop and played LOLOL with him at the hospital, cooked some homemade meals that made his eyes light up with happiness, and even brought Lisa to help comfort him

The day of dreading came at last, you desperately gripped onto Yoosung’s bony hand as you stared at his pale face, the tears never ceasing their flow

Yoosung still smiled at you, giving your hand one last squeeze as he told you his final words

“You’ve given my life so much happiness MC, thank you. Please live a long and healthy life for me. I love you so, so much MC.”

And with that, Yoosung’s breathing and what felt like your entire world stopped

Zen

Since claiming another lead role, Zen was practicing his butt off for his upcoming musical

He had recently been garnering more attention to his superb acting skills meaning more lead roles

Even though he tried to ignore it, Zen could feel the strain on his body, specifically his chest area

You came to pick up Zen from rehearsals one night only to find your fiancé passed out with his co-actors panicking as they called an ambulance

Zen was hooked up to countless medical machines as you gripped his fingers, brushing back his silver hair to try and ease his nerves

But when the doctor came in and told the two of you that Zen had an incurable heart disease, you both felt your worlds shatter

Tears streamed down your face as the doctor said that Zen only had two months to live, making the pain in Zen’s chest even greater

Once the doctor left you roughly wiped away your tears as you promised Zen to give him the happiest two months imaginable

Within the next few weeks, you and Zen held your wedding in the hospital room, with the RFA members being there as witnesses and supportive friends

Zen cried the moment he saw you in your wedding dress as he did his best to sit up on the awkward hospital bed

The ceremony was short but heart-felt, all who were present in the room crying, especially when Zen sealed your vows with a kiss as he started crying harder at the realization that he didn’t have much longer to see his new wife

After the wedding, you visited Zen everyday to cuddle close to him in the hospital bed as the two of you enjoyed each other’s presence, knowing that it would last for much longer

Once the day arrived, you looked down at Zen’s weak body, wrapping your arms around him as you cried into the crook of his neck

He weakly put his arms around you, kissing you for one final time as he bid his farewell

“You’ve truly made me the happiest man alive MC, I’m so honored to be your husband. I’m going to watch you so you be happy okay? I love you now and forever MC.”

And with that, Zen breathed his last as he touched your wedding ring one more time before you realized that you became a widow

Jaehee

The amount of work that Jaehee had recently was becoming ridiculous  

Many employees quit due to their tyrannical boss so Jaehee had to pick up their slack

Jaehee ended up staying at the office for incredibly long hours at a time

Knowing she needed a rest, one day you marched into the office building to tell Jumin off only to see medics inside

You saw the medics carrying Jaehee away, who wore a look of sheer pain, to the ambulance truck

Going with them, you and Jaehee arrived at the hospital as the nurses called for the doctor

You felt sick with nerves but you smiled at Jaehee as you told her that the two of you would be home soon enough

Except when the doctor came in, he delivered the horrific news that Jaehee had developed Leukemia and that her body would shut down in three months

The two of you stared at each other, shocked by the news but you decided to make Jaehee’s life memorable in the best way

You and Zen put on small performances for her, you brought her a variety of coffees to try, and calmed her down with sweet kisses

Seeing her health slowly demolish broke your heart, especially when her final day arrived

Tears stained your cheeks as you used both of your hands to hold her one hand, kissing her cheek as you told her how much you loved her

Jaehee shakily gave you a final kiss on the cheek, saying her final word to you

“Thank you so much for everything MC, you’ve filled my life with so much happiness. Please never forget that I will always love you no matter what.”

You smiled through tears at the now lifeless Jaehee, knowing that you would always be loved even if she wasn’t physically with you

Jumin

Even if his employees saw him as a tyrannical boss, Jumin worked them and himself to become the best members of society

He always wanted to push those around himself to help reach their abilities, which meant working long and tireless hours

You knew just how hard Jumin worked so you visited him at lunch one day as you each told each other about your day

Jumin suddenly stopped, blinked a few times, and looked into your eyes and with confusion in his own asked who you were

You didn’t even have enough time to respond since Jumin put a hand to his head and fell to the ground, wincing at the pain

After going to the hospital, Jumin seemed somewhat normal again except when the doctor entered the room, he had terrible news

He said that Jumin developed an incurable form of Alzheimer’s disease and that he had around two months until he forgot everything, including how to breathe

You clutched onto Jumin’s hand, pulling him in for a hug as you cried into his shoulder as he softly comforted you

Even with Jumin’s wealth, no doctor could cure his disease so you declared that you would make sure to always be there for Jumin until the end

Everyday you’d visit Jumin the hospital, most of the time having to introduce yourself since he had forgotten who you were

The RFA members would come by to visit as well, most of them being sympathetic towards the two of you

You bring him some wine to taste, photos of past RFA parties, and even introduced him to Elizabeth the third every time you visited

Jumin would always comment on how lucky he was to have you as a girlfriend and would listen with a smile on his face as you recalled past dates and times that the two of you spent together

The last day that Jumin would be alive was a day full of tears and heartbreak

You kept telling him how much you love him and that you always would

Jumin smiled sadly at you as he pulled out a tiny box with a ring inside as he slipped it onto your finger as he told you his final farewell

“From what I can remember, I love you so much MC. You’re kindness knows no bounds and I was lucky to have you in my life. Take care of yourself and Elizabeth for me my love.”

Jumin closed his eyes for an eternal slumber while your heart would be in its own eternal sadness

Seven

For the first time in his life, Seven was truly happy

He had you, the love of his life, his brother saved, and you and Seven were expecting your first child

The darkness in Seven’s life had finally faded away and was replaced with light that he never thought he could possibly have

One day you and Seven went out to go for a walk in the park, chatting happily

You saw a beautiful little flower in the ground and went to pick it but Seven didn’t want you to strain yourself so he bent down to get it for you

But Seven suddenly collapsed, you panicked and screamed for help as you cradled your husband in your arms

Once at the hospital, you squeezed Seven’s hand as the doctor came in to tell you two the news

Seven’s internal organs were failing, resulting in a terminal illness that left him three months to live

You couldn’t stop the tears from falling as you held onto Seven’s hand, but he smiled at you and kissed your tears away

It seemed like the darkness was returning, this time permanently, but you wanted to still be his light

You brought Seven tons of bags of Honey Buddha Chips, brought Saeran along to visit and eat ice cream together, and most importantly, took Seven with you to your ultrasound appointments

Seven was only able to go to one of your ultrasound appointments, but you would bring him pictures of your tiny child growing inside you

He wept when you handed him the photos, clutching your belly as he apologized for not being able to help you raise their child

But you reassured him that everything would be okay since you knew he would always watch over them

When the time came, you held Seven in your arms as he rested his feeble hands on your belly, saying his final words to his wife and unborn child

“Please live a happy life for me MC. And I finally decided what we should call our little boy, Sae-yoon. I love you both so much, never forget that.“

After he passed away, you and Sae-yoon would visit Seven’s grave, both of you smiling because you knew that crazy man would always be watching over the two of you

[1989dreamer]

Everything You Had Got Destroyed

AO3

Summary: The funeral of the Hales, through Laura's eyes.

General Kate Argent warning. Also, this story does not place Deaton in a good light. Searching for title, settled on a line from Beyonce's If I Were a Boy. Full tags and warnings available at AO3 link.

                                                                                                                              --

The ceremony is lovely. The mayor makes speeches about the accomplishments made possible by the generosity of the Hales, people applaud, cry, and hug the remaining Hales, and Laura hates it with her whole being.

She keeps a hand on her brother’s back, feels the minute tremors racing through his muscles. She can’t even comfort him because all the townspeople keep coming, empty words falling from their lips while the cool wind of a mild January blows across their faces.

Derek is wrapped in Dad’s jacket, left in the Camaro after another dumb argument about his mid-life crisis. Laura has a coat handed to her by a nurse from Emergency Care. She finds a pack of gum tucked inside a hidden pocket and squeezes it to pulp when the sixth grade class stumbles over Amazing Grace.

The whole thing lasts three hours. Eleven eulogies. Eleven laid to rests. Eleven “Ashes to ashes and dust to dust.” Derek breaks his own hand when the priest won’t shut up.

The sheriff standing next to him looks stricken and unsure while a deputy on the other side adopts a stormy glare directed at Father Donovan’s head.

The wake. They should have had a wake instead of this bullshit circus.

Not a dry eye around them except her brother and herself. But, Laura’s all cried out, doesn’t have the liquid available and Derek…Derek seems broken, small and withered, like he was in the flames too.

The ceremony is lovely and lasts too long and Laura can’t be grateful enough when it ends after she and Derek each toss eleven handfuls into the single plot that will house the bare remains of what used to be eleven people.

The crowd disperses quickly after they, one by one, offer condolences that mean nothing to Laura (Laura only because Derek isn’t listening, hunched down and breathing harshly through his mouth).

Finally, the only ones left are the sheriff and his deputy, the veterinarian Mom liked to take stray animals to, the priest, and Derek and Laura.

Sheriff Calhoun is the first to say anything, and it’s just to jam his hat back on his head, stroke his handlebar mustache and grunt, “Rain’s coming.”

Laura wants to yell at him, scream obscenities because no shit, rain’s coming, she can fucking smell it.

Father Donovan agrees with a simple nod of his head before he claps Derek on the shoulder (and Laura glares at him for startling her brother enough that he jerks and lets out a gasp).

“I wish it was a better time,” he says, absently, and Laura stares at him in horror.

The deputy hustles him away, saying, “Father Jacob, why don’t you go back inside for now?” Then he comes back and leads Derek away, one hand hovering over her brother’s back while they head deeper into the cemetery, no doubt heading for the deputy’s wife’s headstone.

The vet steps up next, offering Laura a hand. “It was a beautiful ceremony,” he offers. Laura thinks his name is Deepo or something. “I used to work with your mother.”

“Right,” Laura says, because what else is she supposed to say? Mom loved saving those strays, usually ones that had been struck somewhere close to Hale property and then either dragged themselves to the porch or were found by Derek or Cora (oh, god, Cora, the only thing left of her little sister was the bows Laura had braided into her hair the morning of the fire).

“I’m Dr. Alan Deaton,” the man offers. His gaze is perfectly sympathetic, and Laura tries to shake the unsettling feeling his bright eyes inspire. He glances dismissively at Derek in the distance before turning back to Laura. “I worked with your mom,” he stresses. “I was her emissary.”

Laura stares at the man before her. Only recently had Mom started explaining what Laura would need to know when she took over the mantle of alpha. An emissary is an advisor, someone trusted who can offer an objective viewpoint and counsel should an alpha require it. Mom had said only the alpha knew who the emissary was to ensure that the emissary would be safe in case of another pack attacking.

Deaton’s heartbeat is steady, his scent unchanged.

He’s not lying.

“You were my mother’s emissary?” Laura confirms, and Deaton nods. “Why are you offering to be mine?”

Deaton holds up a hand, curled as if scooping water. “Your mother did not have time to set up the contacts necessary for you to find your own emissary so I am merely offering my services until such a time that you no longer require them.”

A sudden blip in his heartbeat makes her ears perk. “But?” she says.

Deaton’s eyes dim and his mouth sets in a grim line. “But, I refuse to be emissary of your pack as long as your brother is part of your pack.”

“And why would I kick him out?” Laura asks.

“Because,” Deaton leans closer, sharing a secret, “he is the reason your family is dead.”

Laura draws back, angry.

Deaton holds up his hand again, cupped in the same way. “Kate Argent orchestrated the fire but she received the information about how to get into the house from Derek. They were in a relationship and Derek revealed himself to her. To an Argent.”

Laura finds where Derek is curled down by another headstone, the deputy holding onto him as Derek sobs loudly. The first time he’s broken since that night. Laura’s heart clenches painfully, skin itching with the need to go to her beta, soothe his pain.

“And when did this Argent approach my brother?” Laura has been at college the last few months—she’s going for a degree in child psychology since there aren’t enough therapists in the know. Maybe that was her mistake, leaving her future betas alone for so long.

“A few weeks ago,” Deaton answers.

“And you watched this ‘relationship’ grow without mentioning it to his alpha, my mother?”

Deaton’s heartbeat rises and settles quickly, but it’s his tell—that and the overwhelming stench of guilt rolling off him.

“Excuse me, my beta needs me.” She pushes past the vet, and he grabs her wrist.

“Don’t,” he says, eyes boring into hers. “Don’t push away your best contact.”

“My best contact?” she says icily, jerking her hand free. “My best contact failed to mention that an adult was seeking out an illicit relationship with my underage brother.” A sudden, horrifying thought occurs to Laura and she freezes. Faintly, through the blood rushing in her ears, she can hear Derek whining, reacting to her distress.

“Did you let my family die because you wanted to punish Derek?”

Now it’s her turn to grab Deaton’s wrist. The man barely winces in pain as Laura squeezes his wrist, the bones cracking under her fingers.

“Get the fuck away from us. Don’t ever offer your brand of help again.”

Derek crashes into her back and wraps his arms around her waist. He’s been a whole head taller than her for almost a year now, but he shrinks into her warmth, face pressed against the back of her neck.

Deaton uses the distraction to pull away, his broken wrist cradled to his chest. The deputy watches him go, a knowing look on his face.

“You kids doing all right?” He winces as soon as he speaks and stammers an apology.

“It’s okay,” Laura tells him and only means it a little. As long as she has Derek with her she knows they will be okay even if it isn’t okay right now.

Besides, she can smell the alcohol on his breath, faded, like he hasn’t had a drink in hours, but still there. He’s still grieving his wife. He at least understands where the Hales are at mentally.

“We can’t stay here. Not with that still here.” Laura could probably run Deaton out of town, make sure he never works as an emissary again. Of course, the best solution would be to kill him, but Laura doesn’t think she could do that to her beta. In fact, she isn’t sure she even wants to expand her pack. It wouldn’t feel right. Their family hasn’t even been dead a week yet. She’s not ready to take in new people, train them while she’s still new to her control, to her grief.

Derek tightens his arms around her, his tears soaking through her coat, leaving indelible marks on her skin.

“I understand,” the deputy says. “I hope you find your peace without losing too much of yourself.” He eyes his patrol car sadly, and Laura sees a spindly boy sitting in the front passenger seat. She recognizes him from Cora’s class, from the choir.

“I hope you don’t lose more of yourself,” she offers to the deputy. “And thank you, for all you’ve done for us.”

“Keep in touch, kiddo.”

Laura doesn’t respond, leading Derek, who still hasn’t relinquished his hold on her, to the Camaro. She can’t really say anything right now, still shocked and angry that Deaton, her mother’s emissary, would rather watch the whole family die than help Derek out of a situation that Laura is positive he was pressured in to.

It’s her job as his alpha to protect him, and she can’t do that in Beacon Hills.

There isn’t room to heal when they can’t go anywhere without reminders of their family everywhere. She doesn’t know how the deputy and his son have managed, but she knows it helps that they can’t smell where the people who no longer walk lived and breathed.

“We’re getting out of this town,” Laura tells Derek when he slides into the passenger seat. She reaches across him and buckles him in. Derek just stares at her.

“Peter?” he finally says.

“Do you remember Mom’s friend, Alpha Satomi? I’ll call her, have her check in on him. She’ll also take care of our territory while we’re gone.”

Satomi is the only nearby alpha her mother told her to trust. Ennis and Kali on the west and north sides are power hungry, more of an assembled family than one of blood, not that Laura thinks there’s anything wrong with that. And the Teller pack to the east is bloodthirsty and cruel even to their own pack members.

Satomi is their neighbor to the south, and she has had a long, respectable relationship with Talia. Satomi had offered to take them in for a time, but Laura couldn’t start her tenure as alpha in debt like that and had turned her down.

She wonders if it was the right call.

One way to find out.

She stops at the Quik-Mart on the way out of Beacon Hills, gets a full tank of gas and those chocolate crème things Derek used to like when he was ten. She also buys an atlas and a road map.

The farther they get from town, the easier it is to breathe until the windows are down, and Derek’s hanging out like a dog, sniffing everything new. Laura sometimes forgets that he hasn’t ever left home, a sheltered puppy just waiting to be plucked off the vine by a cruel, remorseless hunter.

Laura vows then, if she ever comes across Kate Argent, she’ll rip her throat out with her teeth.

For now, though, she laughs when Derek pulls his head in and scrapes bugs off his face. And it doesn’t hurt much.

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[sae-you-sae-me]

Hiii~ How do you feel about writing some angst? How would RFA+V+Saeran react if MC died giving a birth? I hope that is not too much... ♡

Anon, this was so sad. We’re gonna have to write some fluff after this one. :,( They got long, so some of them are under the cut. 

Trigger warning: Themes of death

Zen:

He was so excited when you tell him the news

He starts saving up for a home or at least a bigger apartment

Meanwhile, he redoes the whole guest room, changing it into a baby room

You two spend every weekend painting little things on the walls

He’s already buying little microphones for the baby

Eight months go by and everything seems fine

But then you wake up in the middle of the night with extreme pain

He’s panicking but he manages to dial for an ambulance

The hospital won’t let him in the room and he’s getting really angry

He calls the first person that he can hit in his contacts, trying to make sense of things

Surprisingly, it’s Jumin

Jumin somehow deciphers what he’s saying and rushes to the hospital

He manages to calm Zen down while you’re in surgery

The doctor comes out and says they managed to save the baby, even if he was born prematurely

While the nurses escort Zen to see his son, the doctor tells Jumin the news about you

He knows Zen would be unstable and it would be better for a friend to break the news

Jumin waits until Zen returns to tell him that you didn’t make it through the birthing process

Zen completely shuts down and says he needs to go for a smoke when he hasn’t smoked since you two started dating

When he’s outside, he swings his fist at the wall in anger and sorrow

Jumin helps out when he can as Zen through the grieving process

But Zen acts like he’s okay, and he eventually gets through it

He does his best to take care of his son alone, but he has his moments

He never remarries and he makes sure his son knows everything about you

Yoosung:

We know this man was eager to have a baby

Finally, it was happening and he was ecstatic

You both had saved enough to finally buy a house

One day, he brought home so many stuffed animals for the baby

He would put up a chalkboard on the fridge

You two wrote potential baby names on it every day

The day finally came and you two were on your way to the hospital, baby bag in tow

Everything seemed to be going normal until suddenly the doctors were pushing him out of the room

He kept asking what was wrong, but they wouldn’t tell him and insisted he wait outside

He knows his mental state is fraying so he calls Jaehee, the most practical person he knows

He’s so worried, he can’t stop talking to her and asking for reassurance

Finally, the doctor comes out and delivers the bad news

You hadn’t made it

He keeps denying it’s true

“No, no. That can’t be. She’s fine. She was fine. I want to see for myself.”

Knowing he would get no peace, the doctor allows him to see your body

He collapses next to your bed and his crying, clutching your lifeless hand

He suddenly regrets becoming a vet

He thinks that if he became a regular doctor, he could’ve saved you

Jaehee has to almost drag him away when they need to collect the body

She manages to calm him down when she says, “You need to go see your daughter.”

Yoosung didn’t the baby made it and takes it as a sign

He doesn’t want to go back to the place he was when Rika committed suicide

So, he pours all he has to make a good life for his daughter

He’s so glad she grows up to look like you and constantly reminds her of that

Jaehee:

Your husband had died two months before you joined the RFA

You hadn’t realized you were pregnant until a month after the party

Not knowing what to do, you turn to Jaehee

After supporting her through everything, she’s more than willing to help

She tries to make life as stable as she can for you

Has you live with her at least during the pregnancy, so you don’t have to live alone

She throws you a baby shower and makes sure you have what you need

Finally, the day comes and she waits patiently in the waiting room at the hospital

She starts getting worried when she sees an extra team of doctors rush towards your room

When the doctor comes out, he asks Jaehee for any family contact info

When Jaehee asks why, the doctor says that you had died giving birth to a baby boy

Jaehee is devastated

You are the only true friend she’s really had, and now you were gone

When Zen hears the news, he takes her out and tries to comfort her

Jaehee appreciates the gesture, and ends up explaining a lot to him

She said that your family never approved of your marriage, so they didn’t want the baby

She starts sympathizing with the baby boy, since she too lost her parents and her other relatives weren’t exactly kind

She comes to the conclusion to adopt the baby herself

She raises the baby as her own

Even though she doesn’t know much about being a mother, she tries to be the kindest and sweetest she could

She works hard to make sure he was whatever he needs in life

She doesn’t tell him what happened to his real mother until much later in life when he’s ready

Jumin:

When you told him you were pregnant, he was simultaneously excited and nervous

He had to make sure everything was perfect for you and the baby

He made sure he had the best doctors and you were well fed and rested

He barely let you lift a finger, since he was so scared something might happen

He didn’t want to hire anyone to do the baby room

He wanted you both to work on it together, and so you did

You even caught him attempting to make baby booties by hand for the child

The day came and you gave birth to a beautiful baby girl

He was holding her and talking to you

Everything seemed fine, except that you seemed a bit tired

Then suddenly you started convulsing

Jumin panicked, unsure what was happening

Doctors rushed in and pushed both him and your child out of the room

It wasn’t long after that the doctors announced that you hadn’t made it

Jumin is quiet, a few tears streaming down his face

They let him see the body and he just holds you hand for the longest time

Just as they are about to take you away, he presses a kiss to your hand

“You said you would never leave me. You broke your promise, my darling, and I don’t think I can forgive you for that.”

After the funeral, barely anyone sees him

The only person he lets come to the penthouse for a long time is V

He cuts down on his work majorly, so he can take care of his daughter

He tries to make sure everything is perfect for her

He never wants her to feel the sadness of losing her mother

Seven:

He always wanted a family with you

So, when you told him you were pregnant, he started crying because he was just so happy

He starts adding things to the baby room

He’s especially excited about building a crib for the baby

He also adds a mobile with little cats and spaceships

The day finally comes, but he can’t help but realize that you seem in bad shape on the way to the hospital

Turns out his bad feeling was right

The doctors don’t even let him come into the room as they rush you away

The only thing keeping him sane during the waiting was Saeran who had met him at the hospital

When the doctor comes out, he doesn’t even let them speak

He pushes past them and rushes into your room

When he sees your lifeless body and the dead monitor beside you, he completely loses it

He’s weeping, holding your body in his arms

None of the nurses have the heart to pull him away

He spends hours begging you to wake up and apologizing for no reason

When Saeran finally comes in, Seven had cried all his tears and numbly asks, “Are you here to tell me my child died as well?”

Saeran shakes his head and informs him that a healthy baby girl was waiting in another ward

Seven names the child after you

He can’t stand the memories of you all over his house, so he and Saeran move elsewhere with the girl

He retires early with all the money he saved up and pours his entire life into making sure his baby girl is happy and healthy

Saeran:

When you first told him you were pregnant, he was shocked and very nervous

It wasn’t as if he hadn’t expected it, but he didn’t prepare himself mentally for the actual reality

After a few weeks, he starts warming up to it

He’ll come home from work one day with a small pair of shoes

“I wasn’t sure if this would work, but I thought maybe…maybe the baby might like it?”

He was trying so hard to prepare, it was so cute

You buy him a mug that says “#1 Dad”

You tell him to look at it every time he needs to take care of the baby alone when she’s away from the house

Especially when changing diapers gets frustrating

He got a call a few weeks before the due date that you had gotten involved in a bad car accident

He drops everything and rushes to the hospital

You’re in bad shape when he gets there, but the doctors don’t dare refuse him access

He’s stroking your hair and asking you to hold on

You keep saying “As long as the baby is safe…as long as the baby is safe, it’s okay.”

Your heart monitor goes dead as he’s clutching your hand

Doctors start shoving him out of the room

He’s going crazy in the waiting room, shouting and screaming

Seven has to almost physically detain him to keep him calm

Hours later, a doctor comes out and says they managed to save the babies

“Babies?”

Saeran rushes over to see his twins that had miraculously made it unscathed

At first, he didn’t want to look into the babies’ eyes, scared he might feel resent that they lived and you died

But he finally caved in, and he fell in love with his children

Despite the following months being hard, he dedicated himself to being the best father he could be in memory of you

For years, he kept the mug you gave him tucked away in his room

V:

When you told him you were pregnant with his child, he was beyond happy

He felt like it was a testament that you both were starting a new life together, forgetting about the past

He started decorating the baby’s room with a bunch of pictures he had taken

The room was cactus themed with mint colors everywhere

What in room decoration

You seemed a lot more tired than usual, so the doctor assigned you to bed rest 

Just as you thought you were getting better, you collapsed in your home

He called an ambulance and rushed you to the hospital

He has a really bad feeling when the doctors take you into another room

Suddenly, the doctor comes out and tells him to come and meet his son

He’s so happy when he gets to hold his little boy

When he asks the nurse how you were, the woman just blinks

“They….didn’t tell you?”

He takes the news that you hadn’t made it surprisingly calmly

When they take him to see your body, he keeps trying to bargain with them

“Please, I’ll pay anything. Just bring her back, please!”

For a little while, they think he’s having a mental issue, but know it’s just the grieving process

Soon, he’s crying quietly beside you

He thinks its his fault that you died

Bad luck seemed to follow him everywhere, so why wouldn’t this be any different?

To make it worse, his baby gets very ill while in the hospital

V cuts off all relations he has, including the RFA and Jumin

He moves to America in attempt to find the best treatment for his son

While his son eventually does get better, V stays in the States so he could start a new life

Check out our other headcanons~ Masterlist

[bike42]

Adventures in Quarantine March-May 2020

Corona Virus Upends Life as We Knew It              

Chapter One: Denial

Just after the New Year, we started hearing about Corona Virus, and the resulting disease of COVID-19 as something happening in China.  Without giving much thought to the global nature of life these days, we continued life as normal.  

On January 21st the first US case of COVID was confirmed in the US (Seattle area).

February 5-14: We flew to Florida for the IFA conference in Orlando, then spent a few days on the Gulf Coast in Sarasota.  We had uncharacteristically warm weather and thoroughly enjoyed our get away.  

Feb 25-27:  Jeff travelled to Atlanta for his BrightStar Performance Group meeting.  Compared to the flights just two weeks before, he said his flights were pretty empty, already people were cancelling their travel plans.

March 6 – I went to the UW Hospital for an ADRC Ambition Study Visit.  Seemed like business as usual.

March 6-8  We met Sandra and Matt in Minneapolis for the week-end.  With beautiful weather, we walked a lot and went to the Farmer’s Market at the Mill Museum, The Walker Art Museum, and on Sunday Jeff and I attended the Minnesota Auto Show at the Convention Center.  We didn’t know it at the time, but it was the last time we were in large crowds and were able eat in restaurants until who knows when we’ll be back to that?!

March 10  Jeff and I drove to Chicago to attend the BrightStar Midwest Owner’s Meeting.  Just before the meeting, BrightStar set up an option to attend the session virtually via something called “Zoom” meeting (had never heard of it before, but now we are Zooming nearly every day!).  About 40 people attended the session, and Shelly, the originally hugger, mandated that no one touch, shake hands or hug. Honestly, I thought that was a bit extreme, but now in the era of “social distancing,” it’s our new normal.  This was the last face-to-face business meeting we’ll attend in who knows how long.  The BrightStar Leadership Team also decided to cancel the BrightStar Leadership Conference scheduled in Dallas in mid-April.

Madison had the first Wisconsin confirmed COVD-19 case on March 11, at the UW hospital.

March 12 – Governor Evers declared a “public health emergency” for the State of WI.  We weren’t exactly sure what that meant at the time.  Also, that day, Jeff had scheduled a visit with his primary MD Trent Thompson to discuss heartburn / exercise induced chest pain that he’d had over the last several months (note title of this chapter = denial).  Dr Thompson scheduled an Upper GI exam and due the fact that Jeff used the words “chest pain” and he also had a slightly abnormal EKG, he also ordered a Stress Test.  After the MD visit, we headed to Costco where there was quite a buzz with people stocking up on cleaning supplies – we thought it was hysterical, but this was the beginning of the great “Toilet Paper Shortage” of 2020.  Crazy

March 13:  CMS mandated that all Nursing Home facilities across the country stop in-person visits and limit entrance to employees only. Although not required of Assisted Livings, we thought this was a good idea and implemented it for our BrightStar Senior Living communities.  We also instituted temperature and symptom monitoring for all staff as they entered the building, and daily temperature and wellness checks for our residents.

We also started having Home Care and Staffing employees that had traveled “out of state” start performing daily temperature checks.  Since we’d recently been to MN and IL, we also started our daily checks.

Around this time, many schools were on spring break, some extended the break a bit, throwing parents into a panic.

The government started talking about plans to help the country – promised of $600 a week in federal unemployment benefits (on top of state benefits), payment breaks on SBA loans, and several other loan and grant programs for businesses.  It really added to the confusion going on as schools were talking about closing, the threat of businesses closing, and then the uncertainty around if our business could be defined as “healthcare” and therefore an “essential business.”  We were just in the process of switching over to Waunakee Community Bank, for personal and business, so it was a great time to see how much of a partner they’d be for us.

Chapter Two:  This Just Got Real

Sunday March 15:  We attended church as usual, not knowing that this would be the last church service we’d attend in person in some time.  As it was, there was a bit of uncomfortableness during the time when we get up and move about and greet one another.  No hugs or handshakes – some people bumped elbows, some practiced “distance” high fives.  For the first time ever, I was uncomfortable with the thought of someone ripping off a hunk of bread for me as we participated in communion.

That evening we were notified that 2 BSL-M residents were sent to the ER with respiratory symptoms. We were relieved a few hours later to hear both had testing positive for influenza, and they were returned to the community where they were quarantined to their rooms and recovered without issue. We felt like we dodged a bullet.

Monday March 16: Jeff had his Upper GI procedure at St Mary’s outpatient surgery unit this AM.  All the nurses were decked out in full PPE with facemasks, and only a small percentage of the normally scheduled cases were performed.  With Jeff, they found a tiny hiatal hernia (too small to worry about), and Schottky’s ring (which they stretched).  We were sent on our way, feeling somewhat like we didn’t get the answers we are searching for.  

Sad afternoon, we got home from St Mary’s and decided we should take Tiger cat into the Vet’s Urgent Care as he’d been pretty listless for about a week.  The vet was on “lockdown” and you called them from the parking lot and they came out and took your pet in – you had to stay in the car.  I was not happy about that, but stopped myself from pitching a fit. ��Soon they called and told us they found that he was in early stages of heart failure, so we made the decision to put him down.  We called Bailey to come out, and we were able to spend some final precious moments with a sedated Tiger, telling him how much we loved him and what a great cat he’d been.  So hard, but a good end to a wonderful 16 years.

Tuesday March 17: normal day at work.  We recorded several videos to be sent out to our staff with a “we got this” theme.  So odd to look back at that now, didn’t even realize what was in store.

Wednesday March 18: Up as usual, and I headed downstairs to our home gym.  Several minutes later, Jeff sent me a text saying “come up.”  I found him lying on the floor in our bathroom – with horrible chest pain.  I called 911 but it wasn’t until the EMTs were here with him hooked up to the EKG that I actually understood that he was having a heart attack.  Now we know there were warning signs, but something like this was never on our radar!

Amazing work from the Waunakee EMTs and we found ourselves back at St Mary’s in the Cardiac Cath lab. Ryan joined me there, and after about 90 minutes we met up with Jeff in Cardiac Care Unit.  Jeff had blockage of his cardiac arteries – repaired with 5 stents and now a life changing array of medications (blood pressure, cholesterol lowering and blood thinning).  He was always fit, ate well, exercised, had low BP and cholesterol … but heart disease runs in his family and you can’t beat genetics.

He was in the hospital until Friday March 20th, and our world completely changed during those days.  The cardiac event alone rocked our world, but during this time the governor signed a “Safer at Home” order which closed all businesses except those deemed essential. We emerged from the hospital on Friday to a different world.

Saturday March 21st was my dad’s 80th birthday.  My parents were driving back to WI from Florida (also in denial), and it felt so wrong to not have them stop in to visit, or be able to visit them, but we knew we had to stay isolated at home at this point in our lives.

It took some time to get used to our new normal and get settled into our home.  New routine for Sox our remaining cat as well.  Much of that first week was a blur.

Tuesday March 24th - BSL-W resident Bob, had respiratory symptoms as was sent to the hospital early this morning tested positive for COVID-19.  The news was devastating to me.  My heart was breaking for all the families that trusted us to care for their loved ones.  Even with restricting visitors and screening staff, the darned virus got in.  While we already knew we weren’t alone – I can’t describe what a devastating feeling this was.  Our management staff were amazing, however the majority of our caregiving staff (and our brother and sister cooks) all freaked out and left. Later that week, Doris, another resident that was already on hospice also died – presumably of COVID-19 since she had respiratory symptoms.   On Saturday April 4th, another resident (Ray) suddenly developed symptoms and was admitted to the hospital, not expected to live.  I took that news especially hard – I’d had a conversation with Ray during my last visit into the community (March 4th).  He’d been watching the news about how hard the nursing home in Seattle was hit with the virus and felt like they were “sitting ducks.”  What we learned was all attempts to screen or use available PPE wasn’t enough, when apparently, some carry the virus asymptomatically.  Also, on Saturday, Ray’s wife Lynne went to the hospital and also tested positive for the virus, but didn’t have severe symptoms.  On the morning of Thursday, April 9th, I was out for a run in the morning and as I was on my way home, I saw an ambulance outside BSL-W and I lost it. I’m sure I was quite a sight – yelling at God, screaming and crying on the sidewalk.  Probably the most helpless feeling I’ve ever had.  We finally got the health department to cooperate and provide tests for our staff and residents.  8 residents were presumed positive (3 deaths, 3 hospitalized and recovered, two showed no symptoms).  4 staff members tested positive and were quite ill, some out 4 weeks before they felt well enough to return.  True heroes – everyone involved:  residents and their families, managers, and staff.

Chapter Three:  Our New Normal

Government – I’m not even going to get into what terrible leadership our president demonstrated during this crisis.  Both the house and senate went to work in unprecedented fashion and in short time they introduced an array of bills – some good for us, some not, some that we’re still trying to figure out 6+ weeks later.  Payroll Protection Act – gave us loans that could turn into grants if we keep people working – Families First Corona Leave Act was an FMLA that gave non-essential workers unlimited time off to care for their families – Federal UI Act promising $600 a week in UI on top of what someone can get from the state (more than most of our workers are paid to work!!).  Crazy times, and a roller-coaster of uncertainty as we tried to figure out what applies to us, what works for us, what could hurt us, etc.

Zoom Meetings and “work” from home / gardening class.  Zoom church. Zoom Yoga.  Zoom meetings with friends.  Zoom meetings with WI DHS twice a week regarding COVID matters.  Zoom meetings with Littler twice a week, scaring the crap out of us with all the ways people can be suing us over COVID and myriad of other employment related issues!

School – though this didn’t affect us, school was cancelled for the rest of the year. Can’t imagine what that was like – the stress it put on working families, especially lower income who were less likely to have internet access and even access to food the way some kids did through school.  

Workouts – we loved getting up every day without the alarm clock, having our home gym.  On nice days I’d bring my yoga mat up to the porch.  We gradually got out walking, measuring heart rates and before long we were up to walking 7 miles with weighted packs.

Cooking – Jeff always loved to cook and it was great to have the extra time to make soups and clean out the pantry and see what kind of mixes were in there.  He also baked a Key Lime Pie, which was awesome.  

Wine – initially we were home with Ryan bringing us supplies and groceries.  My stash of “everyday” wine dwindled and I started tapping into the good stuff – I mean, what was I saving it for anyway?  By May, we were venturing back to Costco with masks on, so I was able to restock the “everyday” wine.  I also started making margaritas again – I mean, we had 5 bottles of tequila in our bar for some reason!!  As the weather warmed up, our condo ladies (Judy, Joan and me) started having wine parties on our patio - practicing social distancing of course.  Sure, was good to socialize with actual people again!

Puzzles – early into quarantine one night after Jeff had gone to bed, I got out a jigsaw puzzle that I’d had for awhile but had never put together (a series of VW beetles). We worked on it over the next few days and found it was calming, and something we could work on together. After we completed that, I found a few more in the basement, and then ordered a few more online.  Like a lot of things, they were becoming hard to find – took 3 weeks for Amazon delivery!!  The last one we are still working on – 1000-piece Macho Pichu with tiny little pieces!!

House Cleaning – after the heart attack, we realized we needed to quarantine alone, so we put our cleaning service on hold.  At first, we’d forget that the toilets needed to be cleaned and we’d realize the floor was disgusting.  It didn’t take long for us to get back into the routine of cleaning, and we think part of our new normal will be doing the cleaning ourselves again.  We’re not working the excessive hours that we were 10 years ago when we first broke down and hired cleaners.   Except wow – does the dust ever pile up!

Newspaper: “The Wide World of No Sports” The sports section is hysterical.  They’re working so hard to find things to publish.  Same with sports on TV.  Really – who wants to watch old games and old golf tournaments. One cool thing though was they published the AP Writers Top 25 Sports Movies, so were working on watching all of those (some old favorites, some good, at least one so far has been terrible). Here’s the list:

1.       Hoosiers

2.       Bull Durham

3.       Rocky

4.       Caddyshack

5.       Slap Shot

6.       Field of Dreams

7.       Raging Bull

8.       Major League

9.       The Natural

10.   A League of Their Own

11.   Moneyball

12.   The Bad News Bears

13.   Miracle

14.   Hoop Dreams

15.   Eight Men Out

16.   Chariots of Fire

17.   White Men Can’t Jump

18.   Remember the Titans

19.   Rudy

20.   Seabiscuit

21.   Breaking Away

22.   The Pride of the Yankees

23.   When We Were Kings

24.   Brian’s Song

25.   Friday Night Lights

26.   The Sandlot

Chapter Four:  Getting Old

Easter came and went. While I’m getting used to participating in church via video, Easter without family just felt like another day.

The week after Easter, we should have been at a conference in Vegas.  Its been rescheduled to September, on top of everything else.  If we can do things in September, we’re going to have to prioritize!!

Everything has been cancelled for the summer – IFA Summer Board meeting, Waunafest, Shake the Lakes Festival, State Fair, Farmer’s Market, everthing!!  No idea how or when Baseball and Football will start, and if they’ll play games in empty stadiums or what.  

The Wisconsin Supreme Court decided that the “Safer at Home” order was illegal, which threw the state into a state of confusion.  There is a real divide between people that want everything back open, and people that are still freaked out.  No one knows. As of May 26, 2020 – places are allowed to slowly open.  Salons by appointment; restaurants at 25% capacity.  We are still wearing masks in public, and since we’re working in healthcare, we’re enforcing even wearing masks in our office – not a popular decision, but they’ll be thankful if this spikes up again!

I’m feeling more used to it, and spending more time working on some of the work projects that I thought I’d be knocking out during this time.  It was just so hard to focus for the first 8 weeks – everything was about the darn virus!!

Jeff is knocking off house projects like crazy.  We’ve bought a new dinning room rug and moved some others around; he’s washing and waxing the cars that don’t go anywhere.  I’ve got him on a chipmunk reduction program now.  

I’m still working on my Master Gardner certification via Zoom and I’ve been able to spend a lot of time outside in the garden here and at our Waunakee BSL (and at church).  

We’ve also taken a few social distance hikes with our hiking group, and just this week decided to postpone September’s trip to Tanzania to climb Kilimanjaro/Safari until September 2021. Its just too hard to believe that international travel will resume within the next few months.  I was terribly frustrated with that – I’m such a planner and it was making me crazy with nothing on our horizon.  Our hiking friend Gary came up with the idea to start knocking off segments of the Ice Age Trail – a 1000-mile trail that winds around Wisconsin.  Brilliant!! That’s exactly what I need – get away from the media, away from the crowds, and into nature.  By the time we’re done, things will be back to normal – whatever that is!  Stay tuned!!

We broke the news to our Leadership team that we’re about to hit the road again.  Most of them are used to it, and honestly, they brought us through this crisis with little support needed from us.  I’m so glad to have a plan.

[juminsmysticmc]

Mc who gives birth in a car while they are in a traffic jam (Jumin, Zen, Yoosung, Saeyoung)

It was a really good summer day to go out to the beach today. That was your wish. And you wanted to go with the whole RFA as a family. That’s why everyone went in the car and drove to Jumins private beach. He also rented a bus so that everyone could drive in the same car. You stopped to eat something when your water breaks. Someone mentions to drive to the hospital but you get stuck in a traffic jam.

Jumin

he is literally in panic. 

His wife is about to give birth and they are still in this shitty traffic jam!

Seven, who should drive, was sitting there trying to cover up his ears 

He can´t hear your cries of pain anymore.

Yoosung is also tearing up. Poor boy was afraid for you. 

You screamed and cried. 

And he even sat near Seven and not with you behind.

Well. 

Jumin sat at your left.

 As a good husband he holds your hand and tells you sweet things

Jaehee was at your right and Zen right behind you

,,AHHHHHH JUMIN IN HURTS I‘M GONNA DIE!“

Jaehee really tried to calm everyone but fails

they are all confused 

the new princess is going in labor and just screams!

Boys are really sensitive about a woman´s´ scream.

,,MC! Please you are a lady! Breath!“ 

Jaehee tries to calm you down

for Jumin, she had to be top informed about labor.

,,Who the F*** SAID WE SHOULD DRIVE?!“ 

like every time Zen just screams 

,,ZEN PLEASE SHUT UP MY WIFE IS IN PAIN!“

,,I DIDN‘T make her PREGNANT!“

,,SHUT UP ! I‘M GIVING BIRTH RIGHT NOW AND YOU ARE ARGUING WHO MADE ME PREGNANT?!“

Your screams are so loud, that everyone shuts up

Seven looked at you

He knew, this was a bad situation.

Jaehee tells you that it is not good for a pregnant woman to be so nervous 

That makes Jumin freaking out even more 

and you begin to cry more than before.

He is super rich but he can’t afford to let his wife give birth in a hospital with medical treatment?

He hates himself for risking your life and the Baby´s. 

,,No use. We‘re standing. Yoosung! Go search for a doctor! We need help!“ 

Seven is just afraid 

Luckily there’s a doctor between the whole crowd 

Jumin has to say the truth.

He dislikes the idea that a strange man helps you out

It was a painful birth 

Jumin thanked god, that there was a doctor in the traffic jam 

 if there wasn´t somebody who knew about this all, your baby would be dead now

The ambulance comes right after you give birth and

Jumin is blessed with a baby boy!

He´s so lucky and sorry that you gave birth to SaeYong in a car 

,,Thank you so much...sorry for this...“

,,As long as he is health...I love you too. 

But next time you make me pregnant 

we don’t leave the house without an ambulance!“

That´s what he promised to you. 

In fact you never went out again without a paramedic in your near

Zen 

,,Babe breath! Ehh-Ehh-Huu!“

You’re crying in pain. 

You’re also embarrassed 

You’re sitting in the car with your legs open 

The door is open and your underwear is down 

You can do nothing about this since you´re standing since two hours

Behind you there sits Zen who embraces you and tells you that everything is fine 

even if he knows on his own - it´s bad

none can help you and you´re in pain

Jaehee is on your side and is giving you her hand 

Jumin of course is yelling at his phone for an helicopter and Seven is freaking out 

,,Everyone knows that a pregnant woman should be picked up by an ambulance! Why did we go?!“ 

Yoosung screams at V since it was his idea

the man with the blue hair, thought it was the best thing to do

he really just wanted to help you

That’s the first time you see V in anger.

He tells Yoosung to shut up and takes the bottle water out of the bag

,,You’re a doctor! Now do it!“ 

V holds fife bottle water and a towel 

,,I‘M SLEEPING THE WHOLE TIME AND I‘M PLANNING TO BECOME A VET!“ Yoosung screams

but after you cried louder and moaned in pain he really did it 

he was sweating a lot 

he was so embarrassed 

after all, you were a good friend of him and the wife of his good friend 

Zen was still grateful to Yoosung 

He didn´t know Yoosung was able to do this!

But in the end he did it 

unfortunately the helicopter came too late 

But they are just right in time to do controls about your health and the Baby´s

Everything was okay and your little Shirayuki isn’t hurt or ill. 

,,I‘m sorry! I promise you will never give birth in a car!“

,,Ah... It hurts! But as long as Yoosung doesn’t has to do it, I‘m okay!“

Yoosung

To be honest 

You need to stay calm since Yoosung is already nervous 

He was crying

,,MC! I know it’s my fault that you’re in pain! But please just hold on a little bit!“

You’re the one who calms him. 

You tell him, that you are happy to give birth to your baby 

you also tell him, that you will become a beautiful family

Since there´s nobody to help you it´s Jaehees turn to play the doctor

,,Now push, MC“ 

She‘s doing fine and knows what to do since she often read about this 

she also is able to let Yoosung calm down 

But still everyone is sorry… 

it was their fault 

that´s why they decide to help you

V is half blind helps out so good as he can

while Zen and Jumin are searching for help. 

A nurse or a doctor would be good 

but of course since the both of them are searching in a traffic jam…

They are standing since fife hours and you couldn´t take it anymore. 

,,Don’t close your eyes MC! Push!“

Childbirth is really stressful and difficult 

and at this moment Yoosung really wanted to change time

You pushed and after three more hours you gave birth. 

Seven drove with full power to the nearest hospital since 

the street is free now and Zen and Jumin couldn’t find anybody 

You and your baby Yahahee are crying 

that scares him 

But after a tired day everyone is fine and healthy

And Yoosung is still alive 

,,I´m sorry that you had to be in pain so much!´´

,,It´s okay now… the hard work was worth it!´

Saeyoung

While he was crying at your side

you sat there eating his chips

,,MC, isn´t this hurtful?´´ he asked you with a sad look 

you just smiled 

,,No… it isn´t. I read it will really be painful but I just had the feeling of pee in my pants

and well… here we are.´´ 

Saeran could only laugh 

it was so funny 

he watched his brother, who looked really afraid 

and there you were, with his chips, who was actually going into labor 

,,Mhh Saeyoung, will you buy me a new swim suit. i just think that this one doesn´t fit with the color of my nails…´´

,,MC! Your about to give birth…´´he said. 

How could you be so relaxed?

,,Oh I´m sorry Tomatoboy. I guess you like women who just scream and poop on the labor bed when they give birth.

But… it´s easy, It doesn´t hurt so much. Only sometimes.´´

,,Well but…´´

You looked at Jumin ,, Jumin? Do you want to marry me? I guess you like it when woman are quiet. My future husband

likes scream-girls.´´ you giggled 

he could only smile at you, and it wasn´t like Jumin laughed a lot after V´s death

,,MC, is it really okay? The ambulance said they will come here in a few hours…´´

Jaehee said. 

,,All right. I will go for a walk. Come Saeyoung, let´s walk!´´you told him

at his puzzled look you just told him, that this should bring you into labor faster

he walked with you through the whole cars 

you walked there in your lightly dress with your beautiful swim suit. 

Everyone looked at you

but you looked really good with your food 

but then you went in your knees and Saeyoung almost fainted 

,,What´s happening? You feel bad?´´

,,Mh no, I just whoa. It kinda hurts now. I think I will give birth right now.´´

As fast as he could he picked you up and walked to the car. 

He didn´t realize how long you walked 

when you arrived at Jumins car, they all looked shocked about your pale face 

Saeyoung was afraid three hours ago. 

Now he looked half dead 

With a loud scream you just gave birth in the car

He was afraid ,, Wha! Should we pull them out?´´

,,ZEN! DON´T YOU DARE TO TOUCH MY CHILDREN WITH YOUR DIRTY HANDS!´´

You now cried 

but everything went smoothy 

After the doctor checked you and you went to a hospital, Jumin laid off the doctor and the driver for being too late

and you gave birth to Jihyun Kim and YongSeok. 

You both agreed to call the boy after V, even if the past wasn´t the best with him 

,,I love you! Thank you for giving birth!´´