#screaming about my favs

[vole-mon-amour]

*rattles the bars of my enclosure* BISEXUAL JOHNNY SILVERHAND. JOHNNY SILVERHAND IN LOVE WITH KERRY EURODYNE.

[putterphubase]

You said I can ask you if there's anything I don't understand, right? Then please teach me. How to kiss.

THE TIME OF FEVER (2024).

[heartorbit]

the star you've longed for

[iceonmyteeth]

don't you like me a little bit?

[skitskatdacat63]

2009 Abu Dhabi Grand Prix - Sebastian Vettel(ft. Mark Webber & Jenson Button)

[theminecraftbee]

okay so. hear me out. but. au concept--

joel is one of many people affected by a Vanishing. its a phenomenon sweeping the country--people simply not showing up for work, school, life one day, as though they've vanished from the face of the earth. it's almost possible to mistake for normal missing persons cases, if it weren't for the way a few of the higher-profile Vanishings have happened to people who shouldn't have been able to vanish at all, let alone in a way that wouldn't be noticed until too late. look at joel's hometown. the people monitoring the dam were supposed to be redundant, and yet--

anyway. not like he cares or anything, except for the fact this stupid disaster or whatever has left him without anywhere to live or anyone to live with, and he still has a year of high school left, so he can't just do whatever he wants. luckily there's this school in a town called new hermiton that agreed to give him a scholarship to finish his education in the name of recovery and solidarity or whatever, and it's kind of a shwankier school than he'd normally go for, but it's free and, more importantly, they're willing to pay for his lodging, and he can't really turn that down. and it's not like he has a choice but to upend his entire life now. so packing what few of his belongings survived into a bag and getting on a train and moving across the country to a new school it is, he guesses.

(he's been having nightmares that inexplicably feature swarms of blue butterflies. last time he checked, lakes don't have butterflies in them. although maybe it's a metaphor or something, on account of the butterflies saying stupid stuff about how people who are remembered can't disappear, and even a false world cannot be erased if it's watched over, and how fate depends on him holding people in his heart. thanks for saying the same stupid shitty platitudes his social worker told him, just more cryptically, butterflies. real cool.)

new hermiton, it turns out, is a small city. while new hermiton academy is a newer school, much of the city is older. he's moved into a nice enough flat in an older apartment building. he has another cryptic butterfly dream. he thinks he remembers someone trying to urgently warn him of something, but it's all... shaky. that morning, he goes to the school for the first time. he's greeted by a fellow transfer student, skizzleman, although apparently he already knows some of the other folks in town, and transferred here so he could stay with them. but it's at least someone else in a similar enough situation to joel, especially since joel can just tell by the way people are looking at him that skizz didn't have much of a choice but to be here, either, and best friends with impulse or not, he's on his own too.

so. a friend. maybe this school won't be that bad, even if joel keeps having nightmares, and even if the weather here is weirdly cold for july, and even if his new homeroom professor keeps on looking at him really weirdly. (aren't professors supposed to be better about stupid rumors anyway? what's that mr. hills's deal?)

and then, two days later, he waves skizz off at the end of the school day, and gets skizz's friend, impulse, at his door, desperate to hear that skizz had just come to stay the night in joel's shitty lonely apartment, because otherwise it looks like--come on man. joel's already having a shit time. the universe deciding to go after his one existing friend too? he promises impulse to help investigate that night, in the vain hope that Skizz isn't one of the Vanished. joel gets a splitting migraine trying to follow their path back, though, and they have to stop for the night.

skizz is reported missing the next morning. joel resigns himself to cutting himself off from the people around him, as per usual. then, strangely, mr. hills corners him as he goes home.

"you'll need this," he says, and shoves what feels like a cheap butterfly knife into joel's hands. "uh, remember, trust your heart! you'll know how to use it."

"what," joel says. "hold on. you're supposed to be a teacher. why are you giving me this. i know for a fact my file says i have like, ptsd or whatever, which is stupid, but you definitely aren't supposed to be giving me a knife, you weirdo?"

"you'll know how to use it," joe hills says again. "goodbye! believe in yourself!"

mr. hills sprints behind a building before he has to explain anything else. joel is left standing on the sidewalk holding a knife, staring after him.

so. that's weird as hell. joel shivers in the cold and continues on his way home. the butterfly knife feels heavy in his pockets. he should probably report that guy to his social worker or something, but actually talking to his social worker feels like conceding defeat. joel can take care of himself. he can prove he can take care of himself. just watch him. step one: go out to get ramen because he forgot to buy any food for his apartment.

he sees impulse putting up signs as he eats. impulse looks miserable. joel thinks about how skizz, just in the short time he'd known him, had sort of unintentionally given away that he felt isolated after his mother Vanished. that impulse was a great friend, but impulse didn't understand what it was like. he never really SAID as much, but--

it's not fair to impulse, for that to be the last thing impulse remembered of what was apparently a friend since childhood. and joel doesn't care about any of these guys, but he can still pay his check and go out and help impulse go looking. he's no good at comforting people and doesn't know this guy, but joel had been alone too, sitting on the roof and crying, when the helicopters came.

except when they go back to the path by the school, joel's head starts to hurt again.

he looks up and there's a butterfly.

"hey, impulse, are butterflies common here?" he asks, a little desperately.

"i mean, not really, why?" impulse says.

"uh," joel says, and gestures. the two of them stare as the strange yellow butterfly circles in place.

"okay, so that is kind of weird," impulse admits.

"right?" joel says. "the only way it would be weirder is if it were blue." impulse gives him a look. joel does not explain.

it starts to fly away.

"we should follow it," impulse says, his voice getting a little dull. "yeah. we should follow it."

"what? no! no we should not follow the haunted butterfly, are you nuts?" joel says, but it's a bit too late. (maybe this is what the knife is for: stabbing impulse. it would be an effective method of stopping him!) he chases impulse down, down to the river, where yellow butterflies are swarming. impulse, as though possessed, simply steps into the swarm and falls through them to the water.

joel's, uh, freaking out more than a little bit? he'll admit he's freaking out. he dives forward to try to grab him, only to realize that he doesn't see impulse anywhere.

a single blue butterfly lands on joel's shoulder. "do you hold his heart next to yours?"

"i'm going insane," joel says.

"no heart is meant to be completely alone. do you hold his next to yours?"

"this isn't happening," joel says. "this is like a stupid manga or something. it's not happening."

"there is still time to save them; you must hold your heart strong, or the consequences will be dire. i believe in you."

the butterfly vanishes.

"fuck it," joel says. "if i drown then it's nothing people haven't expected of me anyway."

he steps through the swarm of butterflies.

that night, he drags both impulse and skizz out of the river. they're all freezing cold. shadows and strange, yellowy liquid still cling to all of their skin. also, joel stabbed himself, which like, glad to know that's what the knife was for, apparently, and the scar is warm and comforting. he can feel his--persona, and don't ask him how he knows that--shifting under his skin, under the mark on his hand. it said its name is pygmalion; it says it is a piece of joel's soul.

this is all patently insane. but skizz and impulse are alive and NOT eaten by shadow monsters, so even if they're both a little unconscious, joel takes that as a win.

they lie on the ground outside the river. someone stumbles across them. "well give me some teeth and call me an alligator. you got out on your own," breathes a fellow student clutching a dagger. joel thinks he's in the class across the hall. also--

"what are you talking about," joel wheezes.

"you found it on your own. you can find them?" the student says. his eyes are wide. something in joel's soul recognizes something in the student's. something in joel's BRAIN puts two and two together and realizes why mr. hills gave him a knife.

"no. no, go away, i don't want to be involved in this," joel says.

"well, don't you think it's too late for that?" the student says, and joel passes out. he's pretty sure the butterflies have to be laughing at him. in fact, as though to mock him further, after passing out, he doesn't even get to avoid it forever, because he wakes up in a glowing blue boat. there is a man with white-blonde hair, blue eyes, and a blue outfit leaning over him, poking him.

joel takes no responsibility for punching him. he'd do it again, too, as the long-nosed man sitting next to the unmanned steering wheel welcomes him to the velvet room.

(this, joel realizes later, all rather sets the tone for what the next year of his life is about to become.)

[albaharu]

everytime i think about them i get overwhelmed with feelings

[ahollowgrave]

-- little paladin.

[mersei47]

me right now

[crystcllise]

another year of ellis rae and harry acklowe as our albus potter and scorpius malfoy in london <333

[akai-anna]

Round 1

Round: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8

[prentissluvr]

yay i'm so excited!! i think your writing is so warm and beautiful! right now ive been thinking about sam trying to figure out what nickname you like best. like you'll be researching a case and suddenly he'll look at you with a smile and say "what about honey? suits u" and you'd just melt right there looking into his soft eyes!! AAH he's so cute I literally need him 😭

-💐

ahhh thank you so so much darling!!

aHHH BESTIE OMGGG STOP I'M SO SOFT that is so so sweet and cute i'm crying :,)

i am a firm believer that sam calls you honey allll the time it's soooo so cute imo and so him <33 i think he sticks with pretty classic nicknames like honey and baby the most, and loves whatever else you ask him to call you. like if you have a nickname in a different language that you speak that you like, he tries so hard to match your pronunciation as perfectly as he can. if not he'll settle for you using the nickname on him instead hehe. ughhh but back to honey i'm just :,) crying that's such a cute little scenario. like he's not actually focused on his research, the sweet loverboy oh my god. like he's just mulling over pet names that might fit you that you'll like. because he actually adores calling you by your name. i don't think he's the kind of person where calling each other by your names is like oh no what's wrong they're not using my designated nickname. i think he has so much reverence and adoration for your name because that's you, that's his baby!! plus he loves to hear his name in your voice.

but he also finds simple pet names soooo sweet and lovely and loves to use them for you. it's just that you've only started dating recently! and he's actually had these pet names swimming around in his brian for ages, but he doesn't want to use them too soon or make you uncomfortable. so he's staring at some lore website thinking about how muchhhh he's been aching to call you honey all day (and week and month and maybe even year), but he wants to suggest it to you first to make sure you like it/you're okay with it. first, he starts with saying casually, "i'm coming up with nicknames to call you," to gauge how you feel about the idea. when you seem to like it (you're begging to find out what he's thinking), he decides he'll bring it up today

so when his gentle voice interrupts the sounds of clacking keyboards and motel ac, asking "how about honey? i think it suits you" you think your heart is ready to burst out of your chest!!! he sounds so sweet and hopeful as he asks, and when you look at him, you just about melt into a puddle on the floor when you see those pretty puppy dog eyes of his, silently begging for you to give a sign that you like it.

"it's perfect, sammy," you smile. his faces morphs into a full grin and his dimples pop out in all of their sweet, sweet glory, and there's nothing in the world that could have stopped you from standing right then and there and walking right up to him to plant a kiss to his pretty, pretty lips.

[itsjaywalkers]

didn't say anything bc i was at work til 5pm and then i had to go grocery shopping + make dinner but i've been listening to short n sweet on loop all day and i'm fucking obsessed SABRINA DID IT AGAIN!!!!

[kitwilsonsass]

THIS WAS PEAK PRO WRSTLE

[iridescentmirrorsgenshin]

hi! i was thinking about the difference in kaveh’s reaction in a parade of providence’s ending when it is alhaitham vs the traveler telling him about his father with relation to sachin. with traveler, kaveh readily and openly admits that he still feels guilty anyway. with alhaitham, he curiously doesn’t, and I wonder if that’s conscious or unconscious. Does he know, however subconsciously, that alhaitham disagrees with him feeling guilty over his father’s death, or that alhaitham was trying to help him overcome that guilt? but he is not ready to let go of it so he specifically doesn’t mention it to not provoke a discussion and give alhaitham the chance to further show him reasons why he shouldn’t feel guilty? both to avoid being swayed and more arguing about a painful topic… (or maybe he just got distracted by alhaitham’s teasing about ‘thank you’s. or maybe the teasing was alhaitham’s olive branch and a way to go back to their usual banter because he knew the new info was still not enough and kaveh wasn’t ready yet…)

anyway, just wondering about how kaveh, while having no problem discussing delicate and private matters with alhaitham (this conversation, and then when he was homeless at the tavern) presumably because he trusts him and still feels close to him in a familiar way, is very, very careful to not mention his guilt still… could also be trauma after their final thesis argument, maybe?

hiya!! thank you so much for this ask!! HAPPY ONE YEAR TO A PARADE OF PROVIDENCE!! <333

you raise extremely valid and scrummy points, thank you for giving me an opportunity to talk about this event hehehe

i think it's deliberately ambiguous as to kaveh's thinking here, as you've said, with the traveler, kaveh openly admits that although his father's depressive slump after the interdarshan championship and him joining a research project in the desert wasn't directly connected to him, rather it was sachin's influence, kaveh still believes he was the catalyst for this chain of events, and therefore he believes he is still to blame

with alhaitham, however, this mention of guilt is omitted, and kaveh thanks alhaitham for letting him know about 'all this', which reads not only as alhaitham letting kaveh know about sachin's influence over his father, but also as a reference to their discussion about their respective philosophies - with alhaitham concluding that their issue is not who is right or wrong in their approach to life, because as is concluded within this event - 'correctness' is a subjective way of thinking; alhaitham being 'right' about egoism, or kaveh being 'right' about altruism, ultimately doesn't matter, but, to alhaitham, what does matter is sacrificing oneself for the sake of a subjective ideal - this is a fate he does not want for kaveh

the difference in context between the traveller telling kaveh about sachin versus alhaitham, is that kaveh knows that alhaitham is looking into sachin but he doesn't know why alhaitham is specifically interested as he (rightfully) knows that alhaitham isn't interested in nihilism. this contradiction in alhaitham's behaviour is such an issue for kaveh that he repeatedly questions it within the remainder of the event after discovering alhaitham's note, seemingly about sachin, but addressed to kaveh in a language only they know. when the traveller reveals the news to kaveh, this context is removed, and the connection between the discovery and alhaitham is severed. the element of personal has been omitted.

when alhaitham tells kaveh the news, however, kaveh questions why alhaitham is interested in sachin's research, only for alhaitham to tell him that it isn't because of philosophies at all - it's due to sachin's connection to kaveh's father. this is personal. alhaitham is the only one who knows about the source of kaveh's guilt, in comparison to the traveller and paimon, who kaveh evaded confiding in. it's revealed to kaveh here that alhaitham has personally looked into this matter for kaveh's sake - but the question left unanswered is why?

in terms of kaveh's understanding of alhaitham, this is a pretty big deal, since kaveh interprets alhaitham as constantly criticising his ideals and his philosophies (whereas, alhaitham is actually highlighting the detriment of kaveh's pursuit of his ideals). alhaitham openly stating that they have moved on from asserting 'correctness' over each other, and that this isn't the issue, actively prompts the question of what the actual issue is - coupled with this is the impact of alhaitham's actions in this event. alhaitham leaves kaveh a cryptic note about the idealist never being able to accomplish happiness for themselves if they detriment themselves for the sake of achieving happiness for others, which kaveh (rightfully) doesn't understand in relation to sachin. and then alhaitham reveals to kaveh that he looked into his father's disappearance, and kaveh is not the sole instigator as he believes himself to be.

your point about kaveh's guilt never openly being discussed is crucial here i think in terms of subtext. the source of his guilt, being his belief he lead to his father's passing, is questioned by paimon and the traveler, to which kaveh evades telling them. alhaitham is the only person who does know the reason kaveh detriments himself in his altruism, as shown in their argument in their akademiya days. alhaitham looking into sachin must tell kaveh something, but again, it isn't revealed exactly what kaveh thinks, and alhaitham never reveals the reasons why he looked into it, and what he hopes to achieve.

although i think this is more due to narrative reasons, the wounds left from their argument are definitely a factor in this evasion of mentioning kaveh's guilt - a parade of providence deliberately highlights the miscommunication between alhaitham and kaveh, and this is solely due to their past argument. kaveh not mentioning his guilt could be because he doesn't fully understand why alhaitham has looked into this incident for his sake, and alhaitham says nothing more about it because he knows it's still too early for kaveh to process - narratively, i think this is what's at play here

alhaitham teasing him is definitely a way to revert back to their normalcy, however, i also think it serves as a distraction - and it works!! kaveh is relatively cheery in comparison to how upset (as described by paimon) he is when the traveler tells him the news. narratively wise, i think it's a good place to leave it as nothing is inherently confirmed - the potentiality for kaveh and alhaitham separating is eradicated; kaveh and alhaitham continue living with each other, and kaveh is seemingly no longer intent on moving out of alhaitham's house, having thanked alhaitham for his words, rather than finding them 'infuriating'. this is an open ending and gives their narrative arcs freedom to potentially (hopefully) be developed in the future

(from the leaks, i'm going to say that the 'good' ending, or the ending that coincides with the arc that these characters are undertaking, is the ending in which it is alhaitham who tells kaveh of sachin's involvement with his father - i'll have more to say about this at another time!!)

Thank you again for your ask?? Your points were really insightful into their messy little psyches!! Everything you said rings true <333

[skitskatdacat63]

2023 Brazilian Grand Prix - Fernando Alonso & Oscar Piastri exchanging helmets