#scp 504

[somethingsomethingdgronpa]

I think I found one of my favorite professors. He’s just sick of what he has to deal with!

Also what the fuck happened here?

[arson-jellyfish69]

Iris:

More like Iris, Jaqueline, Anne, Cain, Abel , Grabnok, Mr fish or really any and all humanoid scps:

[thescaryhyperfem]

I like to think that everytime SCP-3114 makes a skeleton pun, SCP-504 throws itself at it no matter how far away it is from it

[scpresearcharchives]

SCP-504 "Critical Tomatoes" was written by BlastYoBoots.

I wonder if Florence works with this one. Probably not or she'd be concussed constantly.

-Archivist Bertran

[zombified-queer]

Hey my akuloth spotted you from across the bar and we really dig your vibe. Can we buy you a full rack of ribs?

[mind-murder-palace]

List of our favorite scps and reasons why we like them (I'll update this as time goes on). General unreality warning since thats just the scp way.

SCP-053 - she's in our system so I'm biased about this. I also just like the dynamic she has with SCP-682

SCP-166 - she's also in our system so I'm biased on this. (Granted, we have an introject of the old version of this scp, this entry is a lot nicer)

SCP-504 - I just find this one extremely funny

SCP-529 - the cat requires cheese

SCP-662 - we have an npc of the butler in our IW so I am biased on this.

SCP-682 - basically the same thing I wrote for SCP-053

SCP-789 - It eats online predators and I think that's a slay

SCP-1230 - made us emotional the first time we read it. We love the book keeper dearly. (We also hope our book keeper comes back from dormancy 💔)

SCP-1281 - As I make this list I realize we are big cry babies as this one also made us emotional. "Before that time comes, you must light the darkness. You must make the night less empty. We are all small, and the universe is vast. But a universe with voices saying "I am here" is far greater than a universe silent. One voice is small, but the difference between zero and one is as great as one and infinity" definitely changed our brain chemistry and affected how we interact with the world around us.

SCP-1733 - really good if you want something horrifying with scary implications.

SCP-4999 - another one that makes us emotional. This one as a concept just brings us comfort idk.

SCP-5031 - sobbed after reading this one. Still get a little emotional after reading it sometimes

SCP-6959 - this cute little plushie can swallow earth whole and thats so silly to me.

SCP-___-J - just read it. I know I'm supposed to explain why I enjoy it but this really takes no time at all to read and I find it funny.

SCP-008-J - we hyperfixated on this one for the longest time. He's just a funny guy and we love him.

[rayons1only1started]

The Sandwich Indecent

For Context: The Sandwich had SCP 504 in it, and the D-class was concerned for it.

The bottom says: That's 049's son?

Yes.

Who's the other parent?

Do you know?

(same person) Well neither does the foundation. [Idk ask the counsel]

[princess-of-the-corner]

Since the conversation has turned to our favourite SCPs, allow me to introduce SCP 504; the Critical Tomatoes.

It's a normal tomato plant that, if a bad joke is aid within hearing range of it, will shoot a tomato in the direction of the voice that said it.

While testing its limits, someone made a NSFW joke and got shot by a supersonic tomato that killed them immediately.

Oversimplified SCP has a chapter on it, I recommend looking up, it's great. I would send it myself but Tumblr doesn't like it when I send links apparently.

That's fucking hilarious actually

[tempest-toss]

SCP-998 "Genuine Rabbits!"

Item #: SCP-998

Object Class: Keter*

Special Containment Procedures: Instances of SCP-998 are to be kept in pens fitting a standard living room. Should rapid reproduction ensue, pens must be spread across the site to not allow more than nine instances to be within close proximity. Instances should be fed three times daily, with an altering meal of carrots and lettuce. Should one begin to look sickly, immediately reach out to [DATA EXPUNGED]

Description: SCP-998 are what appears to be ordinary Oryctolagus cuniculus domesticus, also known as the common bunny rabbit. Instances tend to encompass multiple species variations, but often appear as a cross between the Giant Rabbit and the American Fuzzy Lop Rabbit; the only outstanding difference is the extra long ears it sports. Physical characteristics such as length and weight remain the same.

SCP-998 was discovered on a rural farm after a report came in of the farmer's sudden passing. Agent Carlson tagged along with the locals to the scene, where they found the farmer with his throat torn open, the instances bounding along as if nothing was wrong. As Agent Carlson investigated, the townsfolk gathered the instances together, and were in turn brutalized by them. Agent Carlson successfully got into her car, followed by an instance and drove away. As she got far enough, the instance stopped attacking. Agent Carlson returned to find the instances had ceased their aggression. Agent Carlson was treated for injuries and the instances were sent to Site- ██

The instances of SCP-998 have a multitude of anomalous properties, listed below.

Abnormal Walking: While the instances can move like ordinary rabbits, SCP-998 prefers to roll onto its head and use its ears as legs. An x-ray showed that instances have a new bone structure in its ears to do this. Sleep Induction: Referred colloquially as "Reverse Parakeeting" by Lead Researcher Donna Sue, whenever an instance is placed on the head of any human or humanoid, they will forcibly fall asleep Regeneration: In a testing log, an instance fell and broke its leg. Moments passed and the instance's bones snapped back into place. Instance showed no pain during this endeavor. Hivemind: Once ten or more instances are placed within close proximity, a hivemind network is established. Instances will turn aggressive and begin seeking out humans to kill. During this tie frame they have a noticeably increased intelligence, methodically seeking out their prey. Should their number drop to nine or fewer under any circumstances they will return to a docile state. This can be done in a pacifistic manner. Increased Strength: In one breach it was shown that the instances could chew through metal and cables to force a door open. This has partially been replicated in docile testing with certain fruits and common items. High Velocity: While only occurring once, one instance flung itself into Researcher Amos with speeds of that of SCP-504, The Critical Tomatoes. Researcher Amos survived with over a third of his ribs fractured and one lung punctured, among other injuries. Self-Replication: Even if one instance is alone, it can reproduce itself, at a rate of instance every three months. It is theoretically possible for them to overpopulated, but their reproduction slows the more instances are in close proximity to them.

Should at any point SCP-998 breaches, contact [REDACTED]. If the situation is severe, emergency contact with O5-4 must be made after ensuring all personnel are safely off the grounds of the site.

[goth-automaton]

SCP-504

a contender for ominousity in pittsburgh pa?

Official ominous sign

[rosegoldenatlas]

goin to bed early tonight

had a mildly better day i guess?

i usualy end up spiraling and self hating and making questionable health decisions at night but today i instead had it all happen around noon and now im mostly doin fine

no new cuts or anything

was able to start on my portfolio but the art block is hitting hard and im doin all i can to push through, so was only able to do so much

still nothing really brings me joy at all right now and the few things that do are fleeting and gone before i can even enjoy them

i hope you have a nice night

lots of hugs

stay awesome

(ps youre okay to post this)

Yayyyy we had a decent day!!

Uh oh. The self depreciation got to you. What do you mean by questionable health decisions? You better be eating and drinking enough.

LETS. FUCKING. GO. NO CUTS WE WIN THESE QUEEN. *kisses you on your cheeks and hugs you* Yayayaaayayaya I'm so proud of you and I mean this in the most genuine way possible you have no idea.

AND YOU BEGAN WORK ON THE PORTFOLIO?? EVEN WITH ART BLOCK!!! If you saw me IRL you would see the happy stimming. Don't stress about it too badly though! Art block is hard!

I had a pretty bad start of the day but its getting better now. Today's escapism was this video on loop while I wrote

(would 100℅ recommend to watch when you're sad or angry or depressive no joke it has always gotten a laugh out of me)

oh and this one

And then I binge read a bunch of scp's (my fav one that I didn't already know about is SCP 504)

*hugs you back*

Nuh uh, YOU stay awesome.

(Thx for letting me know, I have a hard time knowing the thing I can and can't post cause idk brain can't do social context well online)

[oiladgivememoney99]

Newscapepro Rewrite: Those Damn Tomatoes

Cory stumbled out of a helicopter, the same that he had been put in after being rescued by Biggie and leaving UnLondon.

“Ugh, so glad we aren’t gonna be going there every again,” Cory groaned as he held his head.

“Don’t celebrate yet, Cory; that was only the first part of our mission,” Triana announced. “We’re leaving for UnLondon again in a couple days,”

“Yeah, we still gotta get the Serpent’s Hand outta there,” Nikole added. “And-”

“Cory!” Nikole and Cory’s groaned as they heard Dr. Patience’s voice from behind them; they slowly turned around to see the old man and his bushy, grey beard. “And Nikole, it’s been days since you’ve come to your latest lesson,”

“I was on an important mission!” Cory whined.

“Do I really gotta keep chaperoning you two?”

Dr. Patience cleared his throat in frustration. “First of all, you’re an observer slash security guard, and second of all, a mission is no excuse to miss your education!”

Cory groaned again, rolling his eye. “Ugh… fine, what are we looking at today Doc?”

Dr. Patience smiled as he cleared his throat. “Something that could threaten both of our very lives!”

Patience led the Alcoholic and the Private to a relatively dark room, a man dressed in overalls and a plaid shirt sat on one side of a table, while O’Connor leaned against the other.

“Oh, you three are here…,” The Detective said, near completely emotionless.

“Oh hi O’Connor!” Cory beamed, Nikole also half heartedly waved at the woman they had met once. “Wait why is O’Connor here?”

“We are here to observe her interrogation over SCP-504,” Dr. Patience hmmph’d proudly.

Cory turned his head. “What does that do?”

“Well Cory, what do skeletons tile their roofs with?”

“Dr. Patience, I’m very busy here-”

“Shin-gles, haha I get- OW!”

Cory was pelted straight in the chest by the box of tomatoes sat next to the interrogatee, Nikole chuckled lightly as the tomato hit him in the chest.

O’Connor sighed, today was gonna be a long day. “Mr. Smith was it? How did you gain access to these tomatoes?”

“I was just buyin’ my regular tomato seeds from the general store, and when I was waterin’ them they suddenly flew towards a nearby comedy club,”

Nikole chuckled to herself before making a megaphone with her hands around her mouth. “’Water’ you doin’ havin’ shit like this on your far- FUCK!”

The tomato hit her directly in the knee, O’Connor noticed the farmer’s eye twitch as the pun was told.

“You didn’t like that joke, did you?”

Smith sighed. “Of course not, it’s a stupid, lazy attempt at humour,”

“Hey! I’m sure the Sergeant put a ton of effort into that joke!” Dr. Patience smirked as he defended and gave a look to Nikole.

“Yeah, I put a ‘Skele-ton’ into it, AH GOD,” One of them flew towards her knees again, Nikole doubled over in pain. “Why do I keep doing this to myself?”

“Just stop!” The farmer shouted, attempting to throw his hand up even though it was handcuffed to the table. “God, why can’t people just tell good jokes?”

“I really don’t know,” O’Connor said. “Why don’t you tell us who gave you those seeds?” The tomato hit the Detective directly in the head, knocking her off of her chair. She quickly got up to see the look of absolute rage on the Farmer’s face as Cory quietly cheered her on.

“Y’know what? Fine! I was going to grow these seeds and mail them to every damn comedy club in America!” He shouted. “I had plans to get these all the way to SNL! I was gonna save comedy!”

“By sending a bunch of tomatoes… that will almost certainly be found out and removed the minute they break the sound barrier again,” O’Connor raised an eyebrow.

“They can do that?” Cory looked spooked, closing his mouth as much as he could.

“The plan had some flaws, I’ll admit,” The farmer was breathing heavily. “The guy who sold me the seeds never told me about how powerful they were,”

O’Connor leaned her body further towards the man, letting him get a full view of her tired eyes. “Who was he?”

He cleared his throat. “He only gave me a codename, Cal,”

Nikole felt a shiver go up her spine as he said that, O’Connor looked at her for a moment before staring the man right in the eyes.

“I think that’s all for today; we’ll have an extraction team come pick you up,” The detective left the room, taking the other three people with her.

“I think that went well,” Nikole said as she limped out of the room. “Minus my kneecaps being shattered n’ all,”

“Oh, they’re fine,” Cory waved his hand.

“Cory, those tomatoes have an average speed of 200 miles per hour, she most certainly is not fine!” Dr. Patience chastised the now pouting 23 year old man.

“Working kneecaps or not, you three were actually quite useful in there,” O’Connor thanked, her frowny facial expression still completely unchanged. “So thanks,”

“That interrogation was very impressive of you,” Dr. Patience congratulated, causing O’Connor for a millisecond before going back to slouching. “Using our punniness to get the answer out of him,”

Banging, followed by a juicy splat could be heard on the other side of the interrogation room.

“Thanks doctor,”

“Yeah, imagine how crappy life would be for us funny guys if these tomatoes were just floating around,” Cory’s eye widened in fear.

“Bar trivia would be ruined if it still went on! That was the only time I like working here,” Nikole raised her arms in anger.

“Everything you say during bar trivia is either stupid or racist,” Patience deadpanned.

“Eh, those suits just don’t get it,”

[thescaryhyperfem]

me: if there is tomatoes where's tomalegs fucking dies

[gaybutterflynerd]

Top 5 SCP articles?

This is a tough one. Also my preference for tales over articles is about to show big time- (I’ll admit most of the actual articles I’ve read are the basic ones). But anyhow, my ranking would probably be-

1. SCP-7000, The Looser

2. SCP-3999, I Am At The Center of Everything That Happens To Me

3. SCP-5031, Yet Another Murder Monster

4. SCP-5004, MEGALOMANIA (if not only for the quote of “Grand Arcanist Ruth Bader Ginsburg”)

5. SCP-504, Reluctant Dimension Hopper

As you can probably tell I have a preference for weirder, less horror based skips. I honestly fine them more interesting considering I have a high constitution for horror. Also definitely going to think of one I didn’t put on here and kick myself for it later-

Thanks for the ask! :D

[androgynousfox]

Yea, I am one of the funniest SCPs! I wonder if SCP-504 would react to me…

do you guys know about scp 426 bc i swear it is my favorite thing on planet earth

like is that not so funny

[thesoundofmadness]

scp is rightfully known for it's horror but it's comedy is amazing. SCP 504 is a tomato plant that chucks itself at you if you make a bad joke. comedy fucking gold