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shina913 · 2 years ago

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Scions, Ch.8c | Kim Line + JHS

Scions, 8c

sci·on | \ ˈsī-ən \ Definition:(1)a descendant(2) a shoot or twig, especially one cut for grafting or planting

✼Scions Masterlist✼

Pairing: Fem!Reader Sister + Kim Brothers; JHS x Fem!Reader

Rating: M (🔞)

Genre: Siblings!AU; Marriage!AU; FWB!AU; exes to ?; Mom!Reader; Brother’s Best Friend; drama; angst; smut; fluff

Warnings: ANGST!!!; DRAMA!!!; sibling bickering; soft sibling moments; cussing; multiple POV switches; mentions of character death; parenting frustrations; alcohol consumption; vulnerable confessions; cussing; pining; unrequited love; mentions of divorce/separation; emotional outbursts; mourning; it just hurts 🥴

Word count: 5.5K+

Summary: Four grown siblings return to their childhood hometown after their father is declared to be terminal. They are forced to live under the same roof for days, along with their overbearing mother, to say their final goodbyes. It starts off nostalgic until some unresolved family issues along with an assortment of spouses, exes, and might-have-beens make things even more interesting.

A/N: Third of three mini-updates! This chapter contains callbacks from the supplement, Sunshine. I think(?) I've added enough context to this chapter so that you wouldn't have to read it to get the references but you can read it if you feel that the gaps are too wide.

Thank you to my loves, @internetjunkdrawer and @itdoesntmatterwhy for reading through this angst-fest. I appreciate you both 💜

A/N2: There are some elements of The Notebook here that I adopted because…it’s one of my fave *exes to lovers* stories 🥹

You sidle up to Namjoon, who was hunched over at a booth all by himself, scribbling some words over some cocktail napkins.

“You know, Yoongi-oppa will be pissed that you’re littering.” You fidgeted at a balled-up napkin.

“Well, it’s good I’m best friends with the owner then,” he deadpans without looking up at you.

You scoff, then begin to unfurl the piece closest to you.

“My love, don't look back anymore / Behind the clearly mixed memories / These remaining lives stay like a bonus,” you read out loud. “New song?”

He hummed noncommittally. “I don’t know yet. I’m just writing whatever comes to mind.”

You picked up another crumpled-up napkin to take a look. “You can't love someone like I do / That's all I can say to you.” You blew out a breath. “Oof…is this the makings of your own version of Beyonce’s ‘Lemonade’?”

He chuckled. “Well, as it happens, life is currently giving me a lot of lemons so…”

You hold back a laugh upon hearing his answer. “Will you record it?”

He snorted. “If my usual guy can’t do it, I’ll probably do the guide myself.”

“No, I mean–will you record it for yourself?"

He pauses his scribbling and finally looks up at you incredulously as if you’d just given him a very complicated math problem.

“What? You have a good voice. You’re signed to a record label, technically…”

“Sure, YN. And how many drinks have you had?” He cocked an eyebrow at you.

You roll your eyes at him. "Relax! I'm good. And let's not change the subject!" Turning your body sideways to face him, you add, "I've heard your demos before. You've got that raspy voice thing going on that's very popular with the ladies," and snort.

His mouth twitches and grows into a shy smile, his dimple deepening. "Thanks... I guess." He knows you would never give him a backhanded compliment. Before Victoria came along, you were always one of the first people he would call whenever he had an idea for a new song. Even though you weren't as good with words as he was, he always said that you made the perfect brainstorming partner.

He begins to gather the handful of napkins and stack them in the order he intended the words to flow. After pocketing them, he pauses and puckers his lips.

“Can I actually have those back?” He points to the two discarded pieces that you read words from. You pick them up and hand them back to him; after which, he mouths his thanks.

“Will you be adding those to that secret mixtape that you’ve been working on forever?”

“Maybe.” He follows his response with an enigmatic smirk.

For years, Namjoon had talked about releasing a mixtape of songs that he had saved just for himself. Every now and then, he would unearth it from the depths of his hard drive, make some tweaks to the instruments or vocals, listen to it again, make more edits, and when he had poured out all of his neuroses into his tracks, he would close it out, not giving it another thought for another few months.

“So,” he asks, attempting to change the subject. “Where did he jet off to this time?”

You hesitate as Namjoon didn't have to say who he was referring to. Even though the rest of your family already knew about what you and Sam had decided, telling Namjoon felt like a difficult task. It wasn't just because he had resented your relationship early on, but also because part of you wanted to prove him wrong...and you managed to do that for a few years.

It was difficult because not only did you fail, but you also feared that Namjoon would take this as a moment of vindication.

"Kuala Lumpur," you said, taking a long swig of your drink and turning your face away from Namjoon. After allowing a few seconds for the drink to settle in your stomach, you clear your throat and decide that now was as good a time as any other. “When he comes back, we’re meeting with lawyers present.”

You and Sam had agreed to explain everything to the kids when he returned from his trip in two weeks. You wanted to buy some time for them…a few more days of innocent bliss.

You turned to look at Namjoon again. Apart from the slight crease between his eyebrows, the rest of his face was calm. That crease was still telling. It was the expression he wore while bracing himself for all the facts that he was about to bless you with.

It was also the same face that your father used to make.

But those litanies of factoids and inner thoughts would never make it past Namjoon’s lips. Instead, he quietly takes a sip of his whisky again before speaking.

Putting down his glass, he says, "I was wondering if you were ever going to open up about what was going on between you and Sam. I didn't want to push because I figured you weren't ready. So, I thought I'd wait patiently until you were."

Your eyes watered as guilt consumed you in the past few months, even as he bawled in front of you with everything going on in his own marriage. "I'm sorry, oppa—"

"You don't have to apologize. You never have to when it comes to things like this. We're both adults," he said, consoling you.

You pursed your lips, regret still on your face.

"Although I hope you'll forgive me for my childish thoughts about this, I'm a little upset that you couldn't trust me. I mean," he chuckled bitterly, "have you not seen how my marriage ended?"

"It's just that I know how you've always felt about Sam," you stammered, your shoulders rising defensively. Your eyes flit downward as you turn away from him again.

"Are you sure that's not just your pride talking?" he raises a questioning eyebrow at you.

Taken aback by his skepticism, you pause. But then you remember the promise you made to yourself years ago. You were going to make it work with Sam, no matter what.

"I'll admit, some of it was pride," you concede. "I just thought he and I could get through it."

Namjoon's hesitation was evident in his eyes as he regarded you. Eventually, he let out a deep sigh. "I know that Sam and I haven't had the greatest relationship, and I know it's caused a rift between you and me. That was selfish, and I'm really sorry."

You reach over to grab his free hand while the other clutches his glass. "I never held that against you."

“Yeah, but I know that we never really talked about it. I saw how he took care of you and the kids. For what it’s worth, I respected him for that.“

You smile ruefully. “Thank you. That means something. Unfortunately, Sam and I had deeper issues that counseling just couldn’t fix.”

His face falls. “Still–”

“Can we just leave all that behind?” you calmly interrupt. “Our relationships with our spouses may not have worked out, but things will always be good between us, right?”

He looks at you silently for a moment, then sighs softly, a small smile creeping up to his lips. “Always.”

You smile back and wrap your arm around his elbow. Tilting your head sideways, you lean on his shoulder. He mirrors your action, tilting his head and touching the crown of your head.

“You know, when we were kids, I always hated it whenever you copied everything that I did.”

You playfully smack his arm. “Excuse you? Who’s copying whom? My marriage has been falling apart for years, so I don’t know what you're talking about.”

“I filed for divorce first,” he retorts.

You frown at him for a second, but since can’t think of a quick comeback, you stick your tongue out cheekily at him instead.

He throws his head back in laughter. "Not that I needed further confirmation to know that Jooni is in fact your daughter," he chortles.

You give him another playful shove, and you both fall into fits of laughter.

"God, is it weird that we're laughing about this? What would Dad say?"

Namjoon sighs, then turns pensive. "I think he'd pour us both shots and say, 'Cheer up, guys! At least you didn't die'."

Your mouth falls open in shock, and you stare at each other. After a few beats of silence, you both start cackling again.

The joke would have been very on-brand for your father. He always had a way with words and knew the right ones to say in any given situation.

"If you're not laughing, you're crying, right?" he says.

Not that you needed further confirmation that Namjoon was, in fact, your father’s son.

******

Taehyung walks Eunhae out to the parking lot. The chilly air hits them both as they step outside.

“Are you sure you’re good to drive?” Taehyung asks, concerned.

Eunhae smiles reassuringly. “I had one drink over an hour ago and my hotel’s just right down the street.”

“Alright. Thanks for coming out,” Taehyung says. He sinks his hands in his pockets as he lingers for a moment, reluctant to let her go.

She gives him a small smile in return. “Thanks for having me.”

Taehyung stands on the curb, watching her fish her keys out of her purse. The spot she parked at was a little dark and she was having trouble. He walks up to her and switches on the flashlight in his phone to help. While she rummages through her things, he can't help but notice the way her hair falls softly over her face and her scent wafts through the air.

She’s grateful for the extra light, only to see a big hole at the bottom of her purse’s lining. She puts her hand inside and feels around until she finds her keys. She turns to thank Taehyung, but he's standing too close to her. She remembers the night before when they were just as close. She feels a shiver run through her as she notices the way he's looking at her. He leans in, but she pulls away, feeling a rush of emotions.

“Uh–t-thanks, Tae. I…I think I have everything I need.” She stutters.

Taehyung frowns a little, but he blinks it away. "Sure. Happy to help," he mutters, kicking himself for not being more confident.

Eunhae unlocks her car quickly but as she is about to get into the driver's seat she stops when she hears Taehyung blurt out, "I need them."

Puzzled by his sudden outburst, she turns to face him. "Sorry, what?"

You previously expressed concerns about him not defining his relationship with Eunhae, but he dismissed them. Tonight, during their spirited conversation, he was reminded of it again. He couldn’t just sit back and wait until he got back to the city without bringing it up to Eunhae.

“The labels – I need them," he answered, clearly having had a change of heart since then.

“Tae–”

"I know I said it didn't matter to me before, but I don't feel that way anymore," he admits. "I'd be lying to myself if I said I was still okay with this,” he gestures at the space between them. “It's just not what I want."

She looks at him closely. Truthfully, she had sensed a shift in their relationship. Under normal circumstances, she would never go out of her way to drive to a small town just to spend time with a guy and his family if he was ‘just a good friend with whom she occasionally slept with’.

“What do you want?” She waits for him to speak.

After a short silence, he took a deep breath and asked a question that had been on his mind for a while: "Is this going anywhere? Whatever this is between us?"

She closes her eyes briefly before answering. "Don't answer a question with a question, Taehyung," she scolds him gently.

Taehyung looked down at his hands, fidgeting nervously. "I just want to be sure," he said after a moment.

Eunhae's heart sank a little at his words, but she didn't let it show. She was familiar with his cautious and indecisive nature, which was holding her back. She wanted to protect herself, especially her heart.

"You always say that. Every time you do something or make a decision, you say, 'I just want to be sure.' Is it because you actually want to be sure, or because you're unsure of yourself?"

He paused. His family always said that he approached everything carefully. He couldn't help but wonder if he was really unsure of himself or if he was just a serial overthinker.

But then his father’s words come flooding back to him: Make a decision. And deciding not to decide doesn’t count!

“What if…what if we actually gave this a try? You know, a relationship?”

She sighs in mild exasperation. “Tae, we’ve talked about this. We said—”

“I know,” he interrupts softly. “I know what I said but lately, I feel differently and I just thought I’d take a chance and find out whether you might be willing to do that, too?”

Eunhae puffed out her cheeks and blew out a shaky breath. “Look, maybe we should wait until we get back to the city. You’re going through a lot. You’ve had a few drinks, you’re emotional—”

"I'm aware of all that," Taehyung acknowledges. "And I want you to know that I would never force you to do something that you don't want to do. It’s just that," he pauses and bites down on his lower lip, "I guess I'm wondering if maybe this is something you also want?”

Eunhae grew tired of getting disappointed in her past relationships, so she decided to focus on herself after moving to the city. However, meeting Taehyung changed everything. The more time she spent with him, the more she realized he was different. She started opening up and being vulnerable around him. Despite trying to distance herself, her feelings for him only grew stronger during their last night together in the city. Not only did those feelings linger during her time with him and his family in his hometown, but they also deepened.

Her pulse begins to race as she tries to come to terms with how she feels. With some hesitation, she finally whispers, "I'm scared.”

Her admission makes Taehyung’s heart squeeze, giving him a glimmer of hope. He chuckles wryly, understanding her apprehension. "And you think I'm not?" he replies.

As they stand in silence, Eunhae couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions–excitement, fear, and uncertainty.

"I feel like I'm saying it all wrong and I'm fucking this up--" he says, his voice trailing off. The words seem to catch in his throat, and he swallows hard before he continues.

"No," she interrupts him, stepping closer until she is standing right in front of him. She takes his face gently in her hands, tilting it up so that their eyes meet. "You're not fucking anything up. You're doing just fine," she reassures him softly with a warm and sincere voice.

With that, he feels the tension in his body start to ease. He wraps his hands gently around hers. "If you're okay with it, can we talk some more in the morning?"

She smiles at him, her eyes crinkling at the corners. "Of course," she says softly. "I'll be here." As she speaks, he feels a sense of comfort wash over him, a feeling that everything is going to be okay between them.

She turns around to get back in her car but he stops her again. “Yeah?”

He steps closer and takes her hand. He brings it up to his lips and kisses the underside of her wrist. His lips touching her skin sends shivers down her spine. Pulling him closer, she tenderly kisses him. She sighs in contentment, as if eagerly anticipating this moment just as much as he was.

Minutes later, he watches her car drive away, and her taillights fade into the dark night. He smiles to himself, envisioning a future together and the possibilities that lie ahead.

******

You excuse yourself from a few friends whom you were catching up with to return a work call. Although your managers and colleagues sympathized, you also left abruptly to be with your family, and had only been working intermittently in the last week.

There was still work to be done, and you didn't mind checking in. You could have waited until tomorrow to answer your colleague's question, but instead, you stepped outside the bar to stand in a quiet corner by the dumpsters, away from a couple of Hobi's kitchen staff who were smoking on the patio.

"Are you sure you've got it?" you ask your colleague on the other end of the line, prompting them to ask any further questions.

As you listen to your colleague's assurance, you are unaware that Hobi is walking out of the side door, clutching two full garbage bags in his hands.

"Great, thanks. And please tell everyone that my family appreciates the flowers and sympathy card. Have a good night," you say before hanging up.

Your phone pings as you pull it away from your ear, signaling a new email alert from Sam. You open the attached document to find that it’s a petition for divorce. Sam adds in his message that his lawyer advised him to act quickly to avoid administrative costs. This only adds to your disappointment and frustration, as you were supposed to figure out all the logistics when he got back.

Guess the plan’s changed again.

As the reality of the situation sinks in, you shake your head gently. Even though you both decided to end the marriage, it still sucks to see it written on paper.

Feeling overwhelmed and frustrated, take a few deep breaths to try to keep it together. Exhale and allow yourself a moment to feel the emotions that are starting to consume you. You can feel your throat tightening as you try to hold back the tears, but eventually, they start to fall.

“Fuck,” you muttered under your breath, doubling over, your hands on your knees. It’s okay to feel this way, you remind yourself. It’s perfectly normal to have moments of weakness…have a little cry before you rejoin the others.

“Are you okay?”

Hearing his voice, you quickly wipe off your tears. Turning your head, you see Hobi with a curious expression, making you feel slightly embarrassed.

“Oh, hey,” you force a smile. “I’m okay. Just…needed some air, that’s all.” You wonder how long he’d been standing there and how much he's seen.

He stands there for a few seconds, regarding you. Then, he nods sympathetically. “I get it.”

The guys who were smoking call out to their boss and Hobi briefly acknowledges them, thanking them for all their help tonight.

Hobi turns to you, and you both stare at each other. A sob escapes you, and he quickly rushes to your side, embracing you tightly. You bury your face in his chest and cry, feeling safe in his arms as you ride out all of the pent-up emotions you had in you. His steady heartbeat against your cheek is a small comfort in the midst of your pain.

“Shhh, it’ll be okay,” he whispers softly. “I know it doesn’t seem like it right now but it will be. After some time, it’ll hurt less and less.”

As you listen to his words, you can't help but feel a sense of irony. How can he know that everything will be okay? How can he promise that the pain will lessen with time?

“Is that what you told yourself?” You ask when you lift your head up.

He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “I…I’m not sure I understand.”

Hobi suffered the loss of his father a few years ago, which is where his sentiment is coming from. However, after consuming several drinks and experiencing exhaustion and grief, you decide to bring up old, unfinished business.

You push off him and take a step back. “Did you tell yourself that—about us—when you left? Because that’s what I kept telling myself when you walked out. And you know what? It didn’t really work out for me.” Not only were you being childish but you were also projecting.

“YN—“

“Why would you do that? How could you leave me?”

He is dumbstruck by your sudden attack. This was not how he pictured the conversation going. "I left you? Are you serious right now?" he asks incredulously.

You shoot him a wry look. "I'm pretty sure you walked out that door, Hoseok," you say, your voice laced with frustration and anger.

Hoseok lets out a humorless laugh. "Because you told me to leave!" he retorts, his voice bitter.

The memory of him leaving is seared into your mind, yet he seems to have forgotten everything else that led up to it.

"I thought that after everything we went through, you would stick it out just a little bit more, for me!"

"I did!" he yells indignantly before catching himself. Losing his temper won't solve anything. He takes a deep breath to calm himself down. "It's just... I had a moment of weakness and needed to figure things out," he explains. "Walking out on you was the most bone-headed move I ever made. I regretted it the second I got home. I was fucking miserable!"

"But you still left me," you whimper pathetically. You're not sure what you hope to achieve.

"I came back," he whispers.

“When?” you ask unconvinced, struggling to process the fact that he had returned without your knowledge. In fact, he came back a month after, during which time you had hastily moved out of the apartment you shared. You had temporarily moved in with Namjoon until you found something more permanent. It was also during this gap that you met Sam.

“Did Namjoon know?” you ask, desperate for answers.

“Nobody knew,” he responds, his voice barely above a whisper. “I wanted to surprise you so I waited by the coffee shop across from Namjoon’s place. But then…I saw you with…him.”

You stare at him incredulously. “And you didn’t think to approach me?”

He looks down at his feet, his voice soft. "He made you laugh," he says, ignoring your question. "I used to do that, you know?" He had wanted nothing more than to beg for your forgiveness, to comfort you, and make you smile again. Instead, he couldn't help but think back to the memory burned into his brain: you with your bloodshot eyes and tear-stained cheeks.

“So I went home with my tail between my legs. Then one day, Joon told me that you were getting married. Do you know what that day was like for me?”

"I think I might have an idea," you mutter in a smart-ass manner.

"No, YN! You don't know half of it! Do you know what it's like to have your airway cut off? Huh? Do you know what it feels like to desperately gasp for air so you won't feel like you're going to die?"

“You say that as if you were the only one who felt like dying that day!” You sobbed, feeling some regret.

“And yet you still married him!”

Hobi didn't know that you married Sam because you got pregnant. Sam wanted to be responsible and proposed to you. It wasn't ideal and not what you pictured for yourself. The fact was that your baby needed their father, and you were trying to do right by your child.

"It's the money, isn't it? You married him because he had some big-shot city job raking in tons of cash?"

His accusation stings you. "Is that what you think of me? After all these years, that's your perception of me?"

“Look, I get it. I get the appeal,” Hobi says. “He was successful; how could I compete with that? I’m just the small-town guy, the boy who lived next door. What do I have to offer?”

"Really, Hobi? Self-deprecation? That's great," you sarcastically interject.

"I would have loved to keep you for myself, to hold onto you, but that would have been unfair." His dad had also fallen ill shortly after he returned home. "At least you got to live your dream. You got to marry the guy meant for you, and you had a family together. If I were in his place, I would have just held you back. If I had been in his place, your dreams would have remained just that—dreams."

All the talk about Sam being ‘the guy meant for you’ was giving you a headache. Exasperated and tired, you snapped, "If you wanted to be in his place, you should have just done that to begin with!" With that, you abruptly walked away from him.

Taken aback, he felt a flash of déjà vu from the past - the day he drove you home after your old high school boyfriend dumped you. He squeezed his eyes shut and groaned. This was not how he wanted the conversation to go. "Sunshine, wait!" he called out.

But his term of endearment only riled you up further. You turned your head slightly and yelled over your shoulder, "Stop calling me that!"

"Why?" He asks.

You stop and turn around, seething. "Because I don't like it!"

"You're a shitty liar, you know that?" he shoots back.

You jerk your head in disgust. "And you're a smug asshole, Jung Hoseok," you spit out.

You turn to leave, but he yells after you, "YN, come on. Let's talk about this, please?"

"No!" Fucking nerve he has.

He puffs out his chest and shouts, "If you keep walking away from me, then I hate you!"

If Yoongi didn't have the speaker volumes all the way up, an audience would be gathering around you right now. You turn around and glare at him. "Oh really? You hate me?"

"Yes, I hate you! And I especially hate that after all this time, you still walk away from arguments just so you can get the last word."

You scoff. "Wow. Nice. This was exactly what I needed to hear from you tonight," you say sarcastically before walking away once again.

"See? It's true! You always get the last word, and that's because your dad and brothers always treated you like a princess. Well, I'm done with that!"

You square your jaw and scowl at his audacity. "Oh, you're done?" You mock him.

"Yeah, I'm done. So done!"

Slowly, he advances toward you. "I'm done thinking about whether you get enough sleep or if you work too much and forget to eat. I'm done wondering if Sam cooks for you. And when you're sick? Oh my god--especially when you get sick! You get so whiny! Does he make you soup? Does he..." he represses a growl. "Fuck it! I don't want to think about all of that anymore. I'm done with these thoughts of you filling my brain night and day."

The raw emotion in his outburst sobers you up. You believed that he forgot about you, but instead, he has been holding onto memories of you all this time. Memories that have kept him up at night, replaying in his mind like an endless loop.

”I’m done.” He says softly.

As seconds pass, his face softens and he continues to stare at you.

You try to respond, but the words get stuck in your throat. Instead, you throw your arms around him in a tight embrace, holding onto him for dear life. You feel the warmth of his body against yours, and for a moment, all the anger you had slowly fades.

After a few moments, Hobi gently pulls away, his hands still on your back. He looks down at you, his eyes softening as he sees your tears. He wipes them away with his thumb, his touch gentle and comforting.

As he cups your cheeks in his hands and gazes at you, you can't help but feel a sense of longing. You tilt your chin up slightly. He's unsure at first, afraid that he might be crossing a boundary. You stroke his cheekbone wordlessly to assure him. You lean in closer.

He gives in and closes the gap between your lips.

The kiss is soft at first, tentative, but then it deepens, and you lose yourselves in the sensation, feeling his arms wrap around you as you savor the moment. Your pulse races as his lips move against yours, and you can't remember the last time you felt passion like this.

“Hobah, are you–”

You jump in surprise at Yoongi's voice from behind. You and Hobi quickly back away from each other, turning around and hoping Yoongi didn't notice how flustered you were.

"I was just coming back in, hyung!" Hobi says in a panic. "What's up?" His hand creeps behind his neck, rubbing it nervously while trying to sneak glances at you.

"Oh," Yoongi says, trying to hide his amusement. "I was gonna ask you something but it’s not urgent.”

With a slight nod, Yoongi disappears through the side door again, leaving you and Hobi standing there, worried about how much he saw...or if he saw anything at all.

Not long after, the front door opens and Namjoon appears. "There you are!"

You jump again. "What? I wasn't doing anything," you say anxiously.

"I didn't say you were," Namjoon says slowly. "Listen, we should probably let Hoseok know—Oh, you're here too?" he says, looking at both of you skeptically.

"What is it? What do you want?" Your tone is suspiciously aggressive.

Namjoon squints for a second but decides not to ask why you were acting weird. "Okay, chill,” he chuckled softly. “I was just gonna say, it’s getting late and Jin-hyung doesn’t want to stay out too long since Yoojung-noona isn’t 100% yet, so he’s asking me to round everybody up."

Hobi is standing there like a deer in headlights--the same look he had when Namjoon decided to confront both of you after catching you kissing back in high school.

"Great, I'll just go get my purse." You excuse yourself hastily and turn to head back inside.

Hobi stands there, unsure of what to do. Namjoon asks, “Is she okay? What did–”

“Nothing happened,” he says too quickly. “I mean, she’s okay, I think. We were just talking and…things got a little emotional. I…I was trying to comfort her,” he tries to explain.

Namjoon’s eyebrow twitches for a second, but his expression turns somber. “I appreciate you being there for her…you know, even after everything that’s happened.”

Hobi nods. Namjoon was initially upset with Hobi for moving back home without you, but what could he do? You were both adults, and your father had already scolded both of you separately. Namjoon decided to help you get back on track as much as he could.

Standing next to his friend, Namjoon takes a deep breath. "Who would have thought, huh? Two divorces in our family. First me, and now YN," he says, shaking his head.

Hobi's mouth falls open. He knew about Namjoon and Vee's divorce, but he was unaware of yours. He is unsure how to react. In a span of minutes, he confronted you about your past, lashed out at you, and you kissed.

He couldn’t help but summarize it in the most ironic way he could think of. “I’m sure that wasn’t in your dad’s bingo card,” he attempts to say in jest to mask his shock.

Namjoon chuckles softly, appreciating the joke but completely unaware of the multiple connotations behind the remark. "Thanks for tonight.”

“Of course,” he answers before the two hug. “Love you, bro,” Namjoon says, patting his friend’s back gently.

******

You and your brothers bid farewell to the remaining guests. Naya embraces you warmly, and you promise to have dinner together one of these weekends. Jimin has decided to leave his car behind and take a cab home instead.

Your brothers exchange hugs with Hobi, thanking him profusely for hosting the celebration. They start walking out the door and towards the van.

Finally, it's your turn to say goodbye to your host. You come up behind Taehyung, who seems to be feeling better. You make a mental note to ask him about it later.

After thanking and hugging Yoongi, he clears his throat loudly and excuses himself to wipe some tables.

"Thanks again for tonight," you say quietly, the memory of him kissing you still nagging at you.

"You're welcome. It was a no-brainer for me," he replies.

You smile awkwardly before embracing him. While he holds you tightly in his arms, he whispers, "I'd do anything for your family...especially for you, Sunshine."

Your heart wrenches. Even after the hurtful things you've said to him, you're not sure you deserve his kindness.

As the van pulls out of the parking lot, you look through one of the windows and spot Hobi by the bar putting away some beer bottles, and to your surprise, Dara comes up behind him and caresses his cheek.

◤Previous | Part 8d◥ | Main Fic Masterlist

Thank you for reading!

If you loved it and/or curious to learn more, please comment, reblog, or send me feedback! 📩. I love hearing from readers! If you didn’t like it so much, I would still like to hear about it 💜

#bts fanfiction #hoseok x reader #bts angst #namjoon fanfiction #hoseok fanfiction #taehyung fanfiction #seokjin fanfiction #seokjin angst #namjoon angst #taehyung angst #hoseok angst #btshoneyhive #thekpopuniverse #bangtantheatrenet #hoseok fluff #seokjin fluff #bts kim line #scions x kims jhs

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shina913 · 2 years ago

Text

Scions, Ch.8b | Kim Line + JHS

Scions, 8b

sci·on | \ ˈsī-ən \ Definition:(1)a descendant(2) a shoot or twig, especially one cut for grafting or planting

✼Scions Masterlist✼

Pairing: Fem!Reader Sister + Kim Brothers; JHS x Fem!Reader

Rating: M (🔞)

Genre: Siblings!AU; Marriage!AU; FWB!AU; exes to ?; Mom!Reader; Brother’s Best Friend; drama; angst; smut; fluff

Warnings: ANGST!!!; DRAMA!!!; sibling bickering; multiple POV switches; character death; parenting frustrations; alcohol consumption; mentions of fertility struggles; parenting fears; vulnerable confessions; cussing; pining; unrequited love; mentions of divorce/separation; emotional outbursts; mourning; soft sibling moments

Word count: 3.9K+

A/N: Second of three mini-updates. Thanks for being so patient! Thank you to my loves, @internetjunkdrawer and @itdoesntmatterwhy for reading through this angst-fest. I appreciate you both 💜

A/N2: One of the scenes here was lifted from 500 Days of Summer, just slightly paraphrased 🥺

Thirty minutes later, after bidding your kids and mom goodbye, you all pile into Yoojung and Jin's minivan. Jin takes the front seat while Yoojung is at the wheel. You and Namjoon sit in the row behind them, while Taehyung sits in the rear by himself.

Jin and Yoojung are quietly bickering in the front seat. “I can drive, yeobo,” he says.

“Congratulations. I can drive, too,” she responds as she secures her seatbelt and puts the keys in the ignition.

“Are you sure?” He asks. “What about your headache?”

“I’m fine,” she stresses. “I took some medicine an hour ago and I can get us all to Hobi’s, okay?” Jin nods and decidedly drops the subject.

Taehyung starts complaining, "How come I have to sit all the way back here?"

"I need the legroom," Namjoon replies matter-of-factly.

Taehyung rolls his eyes and retorts, "Couldn't YN-noona sit back here?"

You interject, "I wish I could, but I get car sick, remember?" You shove Namjoon's leg out of your way so you can buckle your seatbelt. He clicks his teeth in annoyance. Shooting him a glare, you say, "Quit man-spreading then!" He rolls his eyes and scoots to the other side to give you some room.

Annoyed and feeling left out, Taehyung blows out raspberries.

Jin sees the opportunity to tease his youngest brother and asks through the rearview mirror, "Do you need a booster seat back there?"

"I can grab Joobin's seat from my car?” You ask jokingly.

“Yeah, the law says you're supposed to sit in it until you reach 80 pounds or 4'9" in height - whichever comes first," Namjoon piles on.

"That's just great. Pick on the dongsaeng... ha-ha," Taehyung adds sarcastically.

Everyone laughs, including Taehyung who can't resist joining in despite his annoyance.

"Everybody buckled up?" Yoojung asks sweetly.

"Yessss! Now can we please go?" Taehyung whines.

As you finally settle into your seats, Yoojung turns the ignition on and the car starts moving away from the curb.

You turn to Namjoon and whisper, "Is Vee coming?" To which he responds with a head shake and an equally lowered voice. "No. She felt guilty skipping but I said it was fine. She did a lot today so I told her it might be best to stay off her feet and rest."

You nod in agreement and comment, "That's thoughtful of you." He shrugs noncommittally and says, "I'm just thinking about the baby."

"If you say so," you say under your breath.

******

Hobi's decision to close Hangsang for the day in solidarity with your family was a heartwarming gesture that you deeply appreciated. As you arrive, you are greeted by familiar faces, including classmates, childhood friends, and some of the restaurant's staff. It is comforting to see so many people who care about you and your family.

Despite the somber atmosphere, there is also a sense of joy and mischief in the air. You can feel your father's presence in the room.

Your best friend, Naya, walks up to you with her arms wide open, engulfing you in a hug. "Hey, hun." Your throat stings, making you take a deep breath so you won't lose it in front of all these people.

“By the way, I forgot to text you, but–”

Before she finishes her sentence, you already have a good guess about what she meant to warn you about. To your surprise, you see Dara, a former classmate from high school, walking around to pass shots to your brothers. When she reaches you, she hands you your drink and smiles awkwardly.

"Hi, YN. Good to see you," you say as you take the glass from her.

"H-hey, Dara. Long time no see," you reply, surprised to see her. Taehyung had only mentioned that family and close friends would be present at Hobi's invitation. You and Dara were never close and even had a disagreement early on during your relationship with Hobi.

You and Hobi were keeping your relationship secret at school. You didn't want your brothers to find out, but due to your own carelessness, they eventually they did. Dara was Hobi's algebra tutor and followed him around like a puppy. She flirted with him despite his attempts to keep his distance.

So you took matters into your own hands—which at the time, happened to be her hair.

It has been a few years since then, and although it was water under the bridge, seeing her still came as a shock to you.

Seeing the puzzled look on your face, Dara decides to explain. "I know you weren't expecting to see me. I work here every now and then just to help Hoseokie out."

Your eyes subtly flick over to Naya, who is shifting uncomfortably, before darting back to Dara. "I see," you say.

"Hoseokie wanted everyone to get drinks as soon as they walked in. Also, uhm, I'm very sorry for your loss," Dara says apologetically.

You smile politely at her. "Thank you, I appreciate that."

After a moment of hesitation, she speaks again. "I also wanted you to know that your dad was especially kind to me after my husband passed away. He was always there for me when I needed someone to talk to," Her voice trails off with a hint of sadness.

Her personal confession catches you off-guard. “I’m sorry to hear about your husband,” you say sympathetically. “I’m not surprised that my dad would do that for you. That’s just the kind of person he is, or…was.”

With a small nod, she excuses herself and walks off to check on other guests.

Shortly after, Hobi spots your group from behind the bar and asks Yoongi to turn the music down for a moment. All eyes turn to him as he makes an announcement.

"Thanks, hyung," he says to Yoongi. "And thanks for coming, everyone." You feel the anticipation building as Hobi pauses for a moment.

Before he can continue, there's a knock on the door.

Everyone takes a quick look around the room to see who's missing but it seems like everyone's already here.

Dara walks over to the window to identify the unexpected guest. When she recognizes the figure, she immediately unlocks the door for them.

Taehyung shouts in excitement as his childhood best friend, Jimin, makes his entrance. He enthusiastically waves him over and welcomes him with a big hug.

As Jimin joins the circle, he apologizes for being late. "I'm sorry for interrupting, Hobi-hyung," he says to Hobi. "Please, continue!"

"Thanks, Dr. Park," Hobi replies with a chuckle before proceeding with his toast. "Today is a day to remember and celebrate a great friend and member of our community, Kim Beomsok."

At the mention of your father's name, you and your brothers instinctively reach for each other.

Hobi turns to your family with a serious expression. "I think I speak for everyone here when I say that your dad was not only a good friend but also a father figure to many of us at some point in our lives," he says. "I remember when he helped me out when I was going through a tough time with my own dad being sick. I'm sure each and every one of you has a story like that to share."

"So, I encourage everyone to share their memories with our guests of honor here," Hobi says, raising his glass toward your family. "I think the best way to honor someone’s memory is to remember how they lived." As Hobi finishes, you see everyone nodding in agreement. You feel the shared feeling of love and loss for your father.

He raises his glass and you all follow suit. “Hear, hear,” Jin declares, and everyone echoes the sentiment.

Your father would have felt uncomfortable knowing that everyone was throwing a party for him. He didn't like being the center of attention. He would have asked everyone to have one drink and call it a day. Nonetheless, you appreciate the sincere thought behind this gathering.

******

“I’m sorry I couldn’t make it in time for the service, hyung,” Jimin says as he approaches Jin. He comes up to greet Yoojung and gives her a hug.

“That’s alright, Jiminah. We understand.” Jin responds.

“I also wanted to take this opportunity to apologize for how everything with your dad went down. I didn’t mean to be secretive. It’s just that he insisted and with doctor-patient confidentiality–”

“Jiminie,” Jin interjects, patting him on the shoulder gently. “It’s fine, really. As much as we loved dad, he had his reasons. None of us blame you.” Jin reminisces about the years he spent with his father, both the good and the bad. He recalls how his father would always put on a brave face, no matter what was happening in his life, and preferred to carry his own burden.

Jimin nods, relieved that you didn’t hold your father’s decisions against him. “Thank you, hyung. I’m glad you understand.”

Jin puts his arm around Jimin’s shoulder. “Of course. You’re family.”

“I know you’ll probably get this a lot tonight but,” he raises his glass to Jin. “How ‘bout a toast to abeonim?”

“Of course,” Jin chuckles and clinks his glass against Jimin's, while Yoojung taps her bottled water against their alcoholic drinks.

After taking a sip, Yoojung interrupts to switch subjects briefly. "Jiminah, I know you're off-duty, so I almost feel awkward asking for your professional opinion, at a bar, no less.”

Jimin throws his head back in laughter, his eyes crinkling in amusement. “Noona, I may be out of the clinic but I’m never truly off-duty.” As his laughter subsides, he asks, “What do you need medical advice on?”

With some hesitation, she glances at Jin. “I don’t know, yeobo. Maybe I was just tired–”

“Just tell him,” he urges her gently.

“It’s okay, noona,” Jimin reassures her.

"So, I don't know if it's just the fertility treatments or maybe the stress of the last few days," she recounts. "I was feeling faint yesterday. I think I was just dehydrated, to be honest, but Jin was concerned."

Jin sighs. He was only worried about her. "I still don't understand why you're not more concerned. You haven't been eating well, and you're complaining about back pain and dizziness…"

“Any exhaustion? Nausea?” Jimin presses.

“A little bit of both,” she answers. “But I usually feel like this during a new cycle. Maybe I’m coming down with something? I’ve had my hands full the last few days.” She tries to rationalize.

“Have you done an at-home test?” Jimin asks her.

Jin and Yoojung’s eyebrows furrow at the same time. Yoojung hadn’t done a pregnancy test since that one evening–which seems like ages ago now after everything that’s transpired since then. “I did several days ago but it was…negative.” The tail-end of her response was laced with frustration.

“Well,” Jimin starts, “I know obstetrics isn’t my specialty but if you’ve ever heard of false-positive home tests, it’s also entirely possible to get a false-negative.”

Jimin was aware of their fertility struggles because it was he who had referred them to another colleague. He knows how emotionally draining these journeys can be, so he did not want to give them false hope. He quickly suggested, "Again, not my area of expertise, but I would recommend doing another at-home test. It has been a few days since your last one, so you can try again. If you get the same result but still experience symptoms, contact your OB and they can do a blood test to give you a clearer answer."

Jin turns to his wife and says, "It's up to you."

After pausing to decide, she sighs and says, "I might still have one test in my bag. We can do it when we get home." Jin purses his lips, knowing that Yoojung is still determined, but it tore him up to see the heartbreak and disappointment on her face every time that second line failed to appear on the tiny pee-stick screen.

She gently squeezes his hand and calmly says, "We'll be okay." What she really means is that she will be okay. Although she doesn't say it in so many words, her voice assures Jin that she is prepared for whatever the result may be.

After a quick nod to her, he turns to Jimin and thanks him.

******

Taehyung and Eunhae sit across from each other at a booth and make some attempts at a conversation.

“I hope you’re not missing too much work,” he comments blandly.

“It’s sort of our off-season so, not too bad. I’ve been able to log in at the hotel and make calls from there.” She fidgets with her beer bottle.

“And you’re not going to get in trouble not being on-site?”

“No,” she smiles. “I can do my work anywhere, as long as I’ve got a laptop and an internet connection.”

He falls silent, keeping his gaze on Eunhae.

She looks up and catches him staring. “What is it?”

“I…” He begins apprehensively, “I was wondering–”

His thought goes unfinished when Jimin interrupts them. “Hey, bro,” Jimin greeted his best friend.

“Jiminie,” Taehyung smiles softly, rising to give him a lingering hug. “How are you?” Jimin asks, giving Taehyung’s shoulder a comforting squeeze.

Taehyung shrugs and sits back down. “I’m okay, I guess.”

Still standing, Jimin’s eyes drift to Eunhae. “Hi there,” he greets her.

Taehyung sees that glint in his best friend’s eye and decides to act quickly. “Eunhae, this is one of my best friends, Jimin. Jimin, this is Eunhae. She’s uh…” he pauses, thinking of an appropriate term to call their ‘association’ with each other.

“A friend from the city,” she smiled, sticking her hand out to shake Jimin’s.

His eyebrows rose in recognition. “Ah, so you’re Eunhae.” He exchanged a knowing look with Taehyung. “I’ve heard about you,” he says.

“I hope only good things?” Eunhae says before taking a swig of her beer.

“Always,” Jimin answers confidently, subtly winking at Taehyung.

“You’re the doctor, right?” She asks with some uncertainty. Even though they had long established not to share any personal stories with each other as part of their little casual sex agreement, Taehyung would still unknowingly drop the occasional tidbit during pillow talk.

“You’ve been talking about me?” Jimin scrunched up his nose and teased his best friend.

“Not like that,” Taehyung says with a subtle eye roll.

“Well,” Jimin says, nudging Taehyung to scoot down a bit so he could squeeze into the seat next to him. “I don’t know if Taehyung has ever mentioned that I’m a straight-shooter,” he says with a wink. “I have to ask, do you have a boyfriend?”

Taehyung covers his face with his hands, wishing the ground would swallow him up. He’s whined to friends about Eunhae more than just ‘a few times’ so Jimin certainly knows a bit more than what he lets on.

“Nope,” Eunhae answers simply.

“And why not?” Jimin asks.

“I like my independence,” she answers confidently.

Jimin smirks and Eunhae scoffs in return. “What? You don’t believe that a woman can just have a great time being free to do what she wants?”

“Eunhae, please excuse my friend. I think the marathon on-call schedules have messed with his head,” Taehyung says apologetically.

“Well, allow me to break it down for you.” Eunhae begins.

“Yes, please enlighten me!” Jimin flashes an eager smile and leans in closer.

“I like being on my own. Relationships are messy, feelings can get hurt. I’m still young and don’t feel like being tied down. And labels? Who needs them? If you’re consenting adults, I think that’s all you need.”

Jimin opens his mouth to speak but is immediately cut off by Taehyung. “But what happens if you fall in love?” His question makes Jimin slowly turn his head toward his friend and then at Eunhae. This ought to be good.

“Love? Come on, Tae,” Eunhae says dismissively. “That’s just a fairy tale.”

He scoffs at her answer. “It’s love, not mermaids.“

She laughs at his retort. “Still, lots of marriages end in divorce—“

“Not my parents,” he contests. “They stayed together and they were happy.”

Eunhae clears her throat, conceding to his specific point. “Your parents are a rarity—a unicorn, if we’re keeping with the fairy tale theme.”

Jimin tries to interrupt again, but Taehyung is quick with his argument. "So what if it's rare? Doesn't that mean a successful relationship is possible?" he says.

Eunhae looks at him, still skeptical. “Then maybe you should tell me what I’m missing.”

Taehyung thinks for a moment, then replies, "It's a feeling that's hard to explain. It's a connection that's deeper than words. You just know it when you feel it."

While Eunhae ponders on his words, Jimin takes advantage of the lull in their little debate, effectively breaking the tension around them. "Alright, alright! How about we just agree to disagree? Relationships are complex! I don’t think we can figure out this in one night."

He then rises from his seat to get another drink. "But I do have to say, this is quite an interesting topic, right?" With a nod, he heads toward the bar, leaving Taehyung and Eunhae to continue to stare at each other from across the table, lost in their own thoughts.

******

“When did she start working here? Namjoon never mentioned anything to me.” You kept your tone hushed while asking Naya about Dara. This really shouldn’t be affecting you. Hobi owns the business and can hire whoever he wants.

“I think she’s been working here for–” she took a deep breath, trying to jog her memory, “I want to say, a couple of years? On and off.”

“Interesting,” you say. “Do you know who was she married to?”

Naya shrugged. “All I know is that he’s not from around here. I think he was in the military?” She sighed and lowered her voice before speaking again, “Killed in action, they said.” You wince.

"She moved back here shortly after they brought him home. She lives here but works in another town during the week and tries to pick up work wherever and whenever she can. I'm pretty sure your dad gave her a couple of shifts when he would cater events, too. My guess is that she's just trying to fill her time, so she wouldn't think too much about what happened.”

Your face falters as you hear more about Dara's unfortunate circumstances. In hindsight, you realize that holding onto a petty high school feud was not worth it.

"After all these years, glad to know your gossip radar is still exceptional," you remark in jest.

Naya closes her eyes and smiles bashfully. "That's what happens when you never leave the hometown you were born and raised in. You know everything about everybody." She gives you a knowing look.

As you get lost in your thoughts, you notice Jimin heading your way.

"Noona!" he says with a goofy grin on his face, seeming to have had a couple of drinks. You hope he doesn't have to work tomorrow.

You beam back and greet him, "Dr. Park!" He throws his head back and lets out a belly laugh. "Stop it with that! I'm still the same guy who used to eat your secret snacks!"

Your jaw drops and your eyes widen. "I knew you and Taehyung were stealing my snacks!" you exclaim.

"Noona, you should find a better hiding place than your parents’ empty instant coffee tin," he laughs. You playfully poke him in the side, which elicits more laughter from him.

******

Yoongi walks out of the kitchen carrying a bucket of ice to refill the bin behind the bar. He notices Hobi standing still, with his shoulders rounded in and neck hunched forward. He is clutching a bottle of tequila with two empty shot glasses in front of him and has a faraway look in his eyes. Yoongi follows his gaze across the room and sees you standing next to Jimin, having an animated conversation with him.

Hobi is unaware that he is being watched, but Yoongi decides to break him out of his reverie by noisily dumping the ice bucket into the bin. Hobi flinches from the sudden loud sound.

“Yah, hyung. You scared me!” Hobi clutches his chest.

“Sorry. Pouring ice quietly is impossible,” he remarks sarcastically. “What are you doing?”

“N-nothing. Just pouring drinks,” Hobi stutters.

“You sure about that? You look like you’re hiding.” Yoongi accuses.

“Hiding? I’m not hiding! I’m right out in the open.”

“I meant you’re hiding from her.” Yoongi tilts his chin up, gesturing in your direction.

Hobi looks back in your direction and then laughs uncomfortably at Yoongi’s comment. “I’m not!” His voice rose several octaves.

Yoongi blinks languidly at him. “You’re not going to make me do this, are you?” He deadpans.

Hobi scrunches his face up in confusion.

Yoongi takes a deep breath and realizes that he's about to give the classic rom-com speech of encouragement as the trusted friend. "Why don't you just go up and talk to her?”

Hobi licked his lips and clicked his teeth. “It’s not that simple, hyung.”

"Not that simple?" he repeats. "For years, I've heard you say, 'All I need is a few moments with her.' Now she's right here, and you're hiding."

Before Hobi can answer, Taehyung strolls over to pick up the shots from the bar. He returns Taehyung's gratitude with a smile before walking away.

Once he is out of earshot, Hobi turns his attention back to Yoongi. "I don't know if I can, hyung."

"Of course, you can! You've practiced this speech for years!" Yoongi scolds Hobi.

Hobi wonders if he's whined to Yoongi too much about you. He's spent years regretting leaving and giving Sam the opening to win you over. He's tried, but failed, to move on. He releases a sharp breath, waving Yoongi off.

"I mean, even if I told her everything, it's not like it would change anything," he says, tearing his gaze away from you as he busies himself wiping already-clean glasses.

"Yeah, but at least you'd get it all out there," Yoongi shoots back. "And who knows? Maybe she has a lot to say to you, too."

Hobi has always wondered if you found closure all these years because he certainly hasn't. On the rare occasions that he feels lonely, he and Dara will meet up after-hours. She kept his bed warm some nights, but when the sheets cooled down in the morning, it was another reminder that she wasn’t you.

"I wouldn't even know where to start," he mutters.

Yoongi shrugs his shoulders. "Can't help you there. But while you think about that, I can at least get you started." He grabs the bottle of tequila from Hobi and retrieves two more shot glasses, pouring the liquor.

"Hyung, come on, we're working here," Hobi protests.

Yoongi snorts. "I'm working, whereas you own the place. There's a slight distinction there."

“When you put it that way,” Hobi arches an eyebrow and asks him pointedly, "Should you be drinking?"

Yoongi doesn't take his question seriously. "I drink regardless. Now, you, on the other hand," he slides a shot of tequila toward Hobi, "...should be drinking."

Hobi hesitates for a moment, then decides to pick up his glass. As he does so, Yoongi raises his own and says, "Geonbae."

"Geonbae," Hobi responds as they clink their glasses together. The warmth of the alcohol spreads throughout his body, relaxing him. Nervously, he looks over at you.

"I can't believe you talked me into this," Hobi says, shaking his head.

Yoongi grins at him. "You'll thank me later.”

◤Previous | Part 8c◥ | Main Fic Masterlist

Thank you for reading!

If you loved it and/or curious to learn more, please comment, reblog, or send me feedback! 📩. I love hearing from readers! If you didn’t like it so much, I would still like to hear about it 💜

24 notes · View notes

shina913 · 2 years ago

Text

Scions, Ch.7 | Kim Line + JHS

Scions, 7

sci·on | \ ˈsī-ən \ Definition:(1)a descendant(2) a shoot or twig, especially one cut for grafting or planting

✼Scions Masterlist✼

Pairing: Fem!Reader Sister + Kim Brothers; JHS x Fem!Reader

Rating: M (🔞)

Genre: Siblings!AU; Marriage!AU; FWB!AU; exes to ?; Mom!Reader; Brother’s Best Friend; drama; angst; smut; fluff

Warnings: ANGST!!!; DRAMA!!!; multiple POV switches; character death; ots of crying–like, A LOT; parenting frustrations; parenting fears; vulnerable confessions; cussing; pining; marriage troubles; mentions of divorce/separation; emotional outbursts; mourning; soft sibling moments

Word count: 7,715 words

A/N: Happy 2023 and sorry this took so long! I had a long-ass note and somehow it got deleted 😂 Woops! Anyway, I wanted to thank all of those who have just recently discovered this story. I love reading all of your notes and thoughts on it as this story is very special to me. It's not an easy read nor is it easy to write (as I've said many times) because it's just...super heavy angst and drama! But I am happy that some of you are enjoying it and looking forward to the next installments!

A/N2: Joon's eulogy was taken from one of his insta stories from May 2022--yes, I have been holding onto this for that long! Translation was taken (verbatim) from @/eternalhyyh on Twt.

A/N3: There are some references to scenes from the two one-offs that were previously posted (Sunshine and Joon & Jooni). One scene in particular picks up right after the end of J&J but it's not super essential that you read those. They just contribute to the story and provide additional context.

After the funeral directors came by to pick up his dad’s body to bring him to the mortuary for cremation, Taehyung retreated to his childhood bedroom. He’d been sitting on the floor for who knows how long. The tears would come and go, especially when he would catch glimpses of old family photos that were displayed on his walls and his bookshelf.

Out of his siblings, he was taking it the hardest. His hero was gone and there was nothing he could do to remedy that.

His nephew and niece tried to coax him out of his room but he couldn’t face them…not like this. He was a mess.

Taehyung took pride in being the ‘fun’ uncle. Always playing games and putting smiles on their faces. The kids were also innately introspective so if they saw any hint that he was upset, they would ask questions about it.

And he wasn’t in the right headspace to talk about any of it yet.

He overheard Namjoon’s voice on the other side of the door, murmuring something about taking the kids to the park. Seconds later, the shadows between the gap of the floor and door moved away, much to his relief.

Sniffling, he reached for his phone by his bedside. He wasn’t sure why but he felt like he needed to confide in somebody…somebody who wasn’t family. Somebody who was emotionally removed from the situation.

“Hi,” he said shakily when the other line picked up. “Do you have a minute?”

******

Eunhae does one final sweep of her hotel room, checking to make sure that she didn’t leave anything. And if she did, it was unlikely that she’d ever come back to this area anyway.

She’d been gone from the office for a few days. And while the nature of her job allowed her to work remotely, it wasn’t like Taehyung was necessarily welcoming her with open arms.

For years, she happily relished in her independence. She didn’t like the idea of ‘belonging’ to someone. The idea of not being tied down to anybody was important to her. She was content with only having to worry about herself, for the most part since her family already worried her enough.

When she first met Taehyung, he was someone that she was instantly physically attracted to. The fact that he offered to carry her giant boxes from the moving truck and into her apartment was a bonus.

He agreed to a no-strings arrangement but she could tell that he didn’t typically go for relationships like that. He was a gentle soul, always thinking about his family and friends.

Even after they’d slept together, he always offered that she stay the night, get something to eat, or just hang out for a bit. 9 times out of 10, she would decline. Spending time together after doing the deed almost always led to some type of attachment. But the times that she would agree, he considered it as a privilege.

He always treated her with respect even though her promiscuity would have other people looking at her differently. He was never the type to just leave right after he got what he wanted. And it was those times that made Eunhae reconsider how she felt about relationships.

After years of living around the city and several casual encounters, she realized that she’d never met anybody like him. It was just unfortunate that she had gone into self-preservation mode right when Taehyung needed somebody.

She’d spent enough time kicking herself for being such an idiot about it. It was what brought her out here to begin with. Unfortunately, Taehyung would have none of it.

While she searches for the TV remote to check herself out of the room, her phone rings loudly from her purse.

It was probably the office again, she thought.

As soon as she retrieves it, the caller ID catches her off-guard.

“H-hey,” she answered. “You know what, I’m still in town. Do you want me to come over?”

******

When Namjoon returned from the park with the kids, his mom immediately greets him by the door asking if he had his suit laid out for tomorrow.

“How could I not bring a suit? I can’t believe…” he muttered to himself.

“Don’t even worry about it, darling!” His mom’s voice echoed through the bedroom from her walk-in closet.

“I was in such a hurry, it didn’t even cross my mind,” he says again, ignoring her comments.

“That’s alright, Namjoonah. You know, you and your dad are pretty much the same size? I mean, right before he got sick.” He turned around to find his mom holding a jacket open for him. It gave him pause, but she remained in that position, waiting to put it on him.

He glances at her for a moment, her expression was soft–one that he rarely saw. Growing up, he made life difficult for her every time she was on a break from filming or if she was in-between projects. Every time he defied her, he would see this hardened look on her face–one of frustration and disappointment.

Namjoon wasn’t always as compliant as his siblings were. He always went against the grain–which caused some constant conflict between him and his mother.

When he left for university, it was one of the best times of his life. He missed his siblings and his old friends but he also felt some relief to not feel obligated to spend time with his mom whenever she was home. He either had to study for exams, attend a workshop, or wanted to save on the bus fare home.

Come to think of it, this is the most time he has spent with her, in the same space, after over a decade.

He swallowed the emotions that bubbled up inside him. He took a step towards her then turned around to stretch his arms backwards. Once he slipped his hands through the armholes, his mom pulled the jacket up his arms and onto his shoulders. He felt her small hands do a quick sweep over his shoulder blades to smooth the material.

Afterwards, she moved around him. His eyes shifted downward while he watched her straighten out the lapels and brush off some errant traces of lint.

“Ma, you don’t have to do that, I can–”

“Shush and just let me do this, adeul.”

He released a long, exasperated breath…and let her be.

“You know, this was one of your dad’s favorites. I had it custom-made for him,” she muses.

Namjoon gets a whiff of his dad’s scent on the jacket and a calm washes over him. It smelled of citrus-mint bar soap…one that he used for as long as Namjoon can remember. His dad was but a creature of habit. He could have gone and used all of those artisanal bath oils and scents that his mom brought from her travels but he always stuck to the same one.

His dad once said that it was the same soap that they carried at the resort where they had honeymooned as newlyweds.

He happened to find the manufacturer and ordered copious amounts of them. To this day, he kept a small stock in a waterproof, air-tight container in the basement. Namjoon chuckled at the memory.

A few more seconds of fussing with his collar, his mom stepped back and cocked her head to the side, admiring her handiwork. “There. So handsome,” she smiled appreciatively.

Namjoon snorts at the remark. “Mom…please,” he says, cheeks slightly flushed from embarrassment.

“What? I’m not allowed to compliment my son? My smart, successful, handsome son? Whom I’m very proud of, by the way,” she added.

Namjoon’s eyes shift downward.

She cocked her head to the side and touched his cheek. “Hey–what’s with the long face?”

“Proud?” His lips quirked morosely. “I’m not sure if I deserve your pride. I’m…I don’t even know if I would be proud of myself.”

She scoffed. “And why not?”

“My marriage is ending because my wife cheated on me right under my nose, my life is in shambles…and now I’m bringing a baby into the world?”

“Is that why you haven’t talked to him in the last few weeks? Is that why you tried to keep this from us? You think we’d think less of you?”

“Ma, even I think less of me right now. I…” he opened his mouth to say something, but struggled to find the right words. “I usually know what my next move would be…but…for some reason, I just feel…” he sighed, “...lost.”

She hummed, understanding his predicament. “A baby, huh? You must be terrified.”

He scoffed. “I am.”

“Well–not sure if it’s any consolation, but that feeling never goes away.”

“That’s reassuring,” Namjoon says sarcastically.

“Why don’t you tell me what you’re afraid of, darling?”

“Uhh…everything! I don’t even know where or how to start raising another human. I can’t even figure out my life right now.” He runs both hands through his hair, suddenly feeling a cold sweat break through his scalp. “What would I teach this kid?”

“Why don’t you sit down, before you give yourself an aneurysm, Namjoonie?”

He sits on his parents’ old bed, which was most recently moved back into the master bedroom after hospice staff picked up the hospital bed and other medical equipment following his dad’s passing.

His mom sits right next to him.

“Sweetheart, do you remember when Jooni was born?”

Namjoon smiles nostalgically at the memory. “Like it was yesterday.”

“Do you remember how you felt when you first held her?”

He laughed. “I was…very scared! She was so small and…I was so nervous, I thought I would drop her.”

“And did you?” She asked quietly.

He shook his head gently. “YN said that, if you loved something that precious, even the clumsiest person would hang on to it as if their life depended on it.”

“And you held her so carefully and so close to you.”

“I did…for over an hour! I didn’t even care that my arm fell asleep,” He laughed softly. “It felt nice.”

His mom smiled. “That’s what being a parent is, Namjoon. It’s terrifying at first because there are so many things that you don’t know. You can plan things out in advance in anticipation for the worst possible scenario but…that’s just not how it works. You learn as you go”

Then she turned and looked at him lovingly. “You just need to love them and do the best you can for them. You hang on to them tightly until they’re ready to let go and set off on their own.”

Namjoon hung his head and stared at the floorboards. “Do you think Vee and I have already screwed this kid up with this divorce?”

His mom rests her arm on his shoulder and squeezes it gently, her expression unyielding but reassuring. “Honey, I think that if you stayed in an unhappy marriage, that would not be healthy for your child either. Most people think that you need to prioritize your child’s happiness before yours–but I disagree. Self-sacrifice is a given when you decide to have children but at the end of the day, you need to take care of yourself, too. It’s an absolute necessity…so that you can take care of others.”

Namjoon nods, allowing his mom’s words to sink in. He knew that his family was unconventional. His parents’ generation was all about doing things for the benefit of the whole family. You didn’t take care of yourself, you didn’t do things for yourself–that was selfish.

Somehow, his parents found a balance to defy all that. They found a way to make their dreams come true and love their children at the same time. While self-sacrifice was evident in all of the decisions they made for their family, self-love also took precedence. It was how his parents reinforced their marriage.

She rubs the back of his neck softly, which he finds comforting. After that, she gives him a kiss on his temple. “You’ll be okay, Namjoonie. We’re here to help you get through this.”

Namjoon lets out a wry chuckle. “You’re way more optimistic than I am. I probably have the worst parental instincts!”

“‘Worst parental instincts’?” She laughed at how ridiculous he was being. “Who was it who volunteered to take the children out to the park for a bit of playtime?”

“That was coincidental. Everyone was busy with stuff and I didn’t want the kids to get bored or get in the way.”

She rolled her eyes. “Give yourself a bit more credit, Namjoon. I see how you are with Joobin and Jooni.”

He continues to wave her off. “That’s different. I play with them for a bit, keep them company…At the end of the day, I get to give them back to YN. It’s kind of like library books.”

Mouth falling open, she gasps and clutches her chest in disbelief. “Kim Namjoon! You did not just compare your niece and nephew to library books?!”

He chuckled in return. “I love books—and I love Joobin and Jooni.” His face falters for a second, turning more serious. “…but they’re not mine. It’s…I don’t know how to explain it.” He sucked in a breath, trying to make out the words. After a few beats, he continued, “I just feel like…I’ll have less room for error when it’s my kid.”

His mom frowned. “Why would you think that?”

Her question was met with silence. She put her hand on his cheek and gently urged him again. “Joonie, tell me.”

He sighed heavily, looking up at her with sad eyes. “I just feel like, after all those years that I treated you badly, maybe this is the universe’s way of getting payback…you know, because I was a bad son to you.”

The words pierced her chest like a barb. They didn’t have the easiest relationship and Namjoon always seemed intent on keeping a rebellious streak but her love for him never wavered.

“Oh, honey…no. No, no, no,” she desperately wrapped her arms around his too-large-frame. “Whatever stuff we were going through…you shouldn’t think of it as some generational thing. Me being away all the time was tough not just on you but on me, too.”

Namjoon sniffled. Regretting all those years that he punished his mom for being absent during his formative years. She did what she needed to…and it was never without his dad’s blessing. He realized that now.

“I’m sorry for not giving you a break, ma,” Namjoon mumbled.

“It’s all water under the bridge.” She pulls away from him and gives his forehead a lingering kiss. “I love you and I just want what’s best for you…always.”

Namjoon stared back into his mom’s eyes. All those years of animosity that he put between them–she just waved it all away with a kiss.

“I love you, mom.”

“I love you, too, darling,” she smiled. “And not that you need to hear this from me but I think you’ll be a great father. You care a great deal about your family–and I think that matters a lot when you’re raising children.”

******

You weren’t the only one on autopilot. Almost everyone in this house was trying to keep themselves busy.

When Namjoon and the kids returned from the park, you handed them off to Sam. Thankfully, he canceled all of his calls and meetings since the funeral was scheduled for tomorrow.

“Where are the kids?” Jin had just emerged from the study. He’d been on the phone with the minister confirming details on the memorial and coordinating with his staff at the restaurant for the reception.

His staff. It was a strange thought. Only days ago, they were your dad’s staff. Even though he relinquished that role to Jin ever since he decided to ‘retire,’ they still considered him as their boss.

“With Sam,” you say, looking up from the soup you were stirring.

He snorted. “At least he’s being useful. I think I’ve only seen him a total of two hours since he arrived. Even in those two hours, he always had that fucking earpiece on,” he says, referring to Sam’s bluetooth headset.

You sighed heavily at Jin’s grumblings about your husband. He didn’t dislike Sam…at least not at the outset. When you brought him home to meet your family, Jin had resigned himself to the fact that this man was going to be in your life, and in turn, his life.

Unlike Namjoon, there was no benefit to wishing that someone else was in his place instead.

But as time went on, Jin grew tired of Sam being away so much, leaving you to deal with the kids and manage your home.

“He’s been busy, oppa. Unfortunately, some foreign clients don’t really care about personal stuff. They just want to know how and when they’re going to get their money.”

Jin wanted to argue that point but he didn’t have the energy. Thankfully, when Namjoon got back from the park, he handed him the list of family members and friends whom he hadn't called yet.

“Where’s Yoojung?” He asks instead.

You were thankful for the change in subject. “Unnie wasn’t feeling well. I told her to go lie down so I offered to finish this up for her.”

“She’s been doing a lot in the last few days,” he says, leaning against the kitchen counter.

“I know. Do you want to go upstairs and keep her company? I’ll let you guys know when dinner’s ready.”

Jin nods and starts to walk off to check on his wife upstairs but turns back around.

“Hey,” he says cautiously.

You look up at him.

He hesitates for a beat, hoping that he wasn’t speaking out of turn. But he was the eldest and he knew that you always respected any advice he gave. He moistens his lips. “Whatever it is you and Sam are going through…just know that whatever you decide, we’ll support you.”

Your breath caught in your throat. For nearly four years, you tried to cover up your marital issues. You and Sam have gone through counseling and after a few sessions, it seemed like things were going to work out.

This time, though? It was becoming more evident that your marriage was beyond repair. Even after your conversation with your dad, you hadn’t made up your mind yet. You thought you could revisit all of that after the memorial, when you and Sam got back to the city.

Although, it seemed as if Jin was as intuitive as your dad was.

“Oppa, I…” Your shaky voice betrayed your resolve.

“I know that if dad were still here, he would say the same thing,” he says softly.

Your nose stung and you felt the tears well up in your eyes. At the first sob you let out, Jin instantly wraps you in his arms tightly.

“Hey…it’s gonna be okay, YN.” He rubbed your back soothingly.

“Please don’t tell Joon yet,” you whimpered.

“Is it because you’re afraid that he can finally kick Sam’s ass?”

You pulled away, chuckling while wiping your tears. “No,” you answer. “He’s just got a lot to deal with right now. I’ll tell him eventually.”

Jin nodded. “I hear you. I will say though, nothing good ever comes out of keeping secrets. Not saying that you were doing it maliciously but…you think you’re protecting people’s feelings when you could be making things worse by not trusting them enough to be understanding about it.”

He wiped the tears that dripped from your cheeks. “At some point, you have to choose whether trying to be strong in front of your kids is worth sacrificing your own happiness.”

He pulls you close for another brief hug and plants a kiss on the crown of your head. “You know that I love you, right?”

You nodded wordlessly.

“Good.”

Before he walks away, the doorbell rings. “I’ll get it,” he says. “Just finish up with the soup.”

“Thank you, oppa.”

******

Jin is surprised to see Eunhae at their front door. She bows to him, giving her condolences.

“Thank you,” he replies sullenly. “If you’re here for Taehyung…he’s…” He scratches the back of his head uncomfortably, unsure how to tell her that his little brother had barricaded himself in his bedroom. ”I’m not sure if he’s up to seeing anyone.”

Eunhae nodded. “I understand.” She omits telling Jin that Taehyung called her and that she offered to come over. She figured that none of his family members have been able to coax him out. “I’d like to try? Uhm…you know, talking to him?”

Jin sighed. At this point, he’d try anything to get Taehyung out of his room. The memorial was tomorrow and he hoped that the whole family would pull it together to send off their dad properly.

He was worried sick about Taehyung. He hadn’t spoken or eaten in the last two days. Yoojung and YN would leave bowls of food by the door and they would remain untouched hours later. The only activity that came out of his room were sounds of old jazz and soul music–songs from their father’s playlist.

“Sure,” Jin invites her in. He offers her some refreshments but she respectfully declines. He then walks her up the steps towards Taehyung’s room. Jin knocked at the door to let him know that Eunhae was here. As expected, there was no response.

He shrugged at her. “Good luck, I guess?” She gave him a polite, grateful smile before he excused himself to check on Yoojung.

Eunhae knocks on the door again and calls to him. “Taehyung? Can I come in?” A few seconds of silence, and she’s about to give up but the door clicks and a disheveled Taehyung stands in front of her.

******

The house felt suffocating so Taehyung asked if Eunhae could drive out by the lake. He needed some fresh air.

“I hope you don’t mind. I called Jungkook and told him about the memorial.” She says, after turning the car engine off.

Taehyung nodded absentmindedly in acknowledgement.

“I just asked him to spread the word–and let your other friends or coworkers know.”

“Thanks,” he replies quietly. “Sorry, I’ve just been…out of it.”

“You don’t have to apologize. You’re going through a lot,” she says understandingly.

“I…I don’t even know what to do with myself,” he mumbled, before rubbing his bloodshot eyes.

She could tell that he wanted to spill his guts out to her but he was holding back. This was something personal…deeply so. And this was never part of their agreement.

But she knew, from the moment she picked up his call and offered to come over, all of those boundaries that she set up to keep him within arm’s reach were out the door.

“I’m here to listen.”

Taehyung turned his head away from the window to face her. She was staring back at him, unmoved. Her eyes drift down to his hand and without hesitation, she reached out to rest her hand over his and gave it an assuring squeeze.

“I’m here for you,” she says.

His eyes flicked down to their clasped hands. When Taehyung called her, he thought that he only needed a sounding board. In reality, he needed her.

And so he talked. He talked about his dad and how much he loved him…and how sad he was that he wasn’t going to be around anymore.

And she listened while he got it all out. She watched him cry and whimper. She saw him surrender to the grief that he was feeling. She wasn’t sure why he felt as if he had to hide this from his siblings. They all seemed very supportive and loving.

After an hour, he got himself together and asked if she could drive him back to the house.

When they returned, they were greeted by his sister. She insisted that Eunhae stay for dinner.

While they sat and ate, his brothers discussed other things that needed to be done before tomorrow’s memorial. She watched him nod obediently, volunteering for tasks, even if they weren’t asked of him.

Eunhae realized that Taehyung was struggling to find his footing in his family. He’s spent so much time trying to come off as someone who was carefree…when in fact, he cared a lot. It must be difficult to be overshadowed by three older siblings who already had their paths laid out.

Discussions then led to the events happening the next day. The memorial was supposed to start early in the morning in their home. A florist would come by to set up an arrangement in the middle of the living room with their father’s portrait, followed by mourners bowing and paying their respects.

The memorial would then be followed by a brief reception at the family’s restaurant.

“Eunhae, you don’t have to rush back, do you?” His mom asks.

“M-ma, let’s not impose on Eunhae. She might need to get back–”

“What Taehyung means is that, I’d be honored to stay, Mrs. Kim,” Eunhae cuts Taehyung off.

His mom smiled warmly. “Very good.”

*******

“Hey, listen–I just want you to know that if you have other stuff going on back in the city, you don’t need to stick around.” Taehyung said as he walked Eunhae out to her car.

Her eyebrows knitted. “I really don’t mind. I want to be able to pay my respects, too.”

He nodded. “I know but…I just don’t want you to feel that my mom’s lured you into something you feel like you can’t back out of.”

She chuckled. “Your mom is a lovely person. I’m happy to be wherever she welcomes me.”

They both exchange awkward smiles before Eunhae gives a small wave, leaving him standing on the curb while she rounds her car to get to open the driver side door.

Taehyung cleared his throat. “T-thanks again…” he blurts out.

“What for?”

He dug his hands in his pockets and shrugged. “For being someone whom I needed.”

“And that is?”

After a brief pause, he sighed. “A good friend.”

With a small nod and smile, she says, “Of course. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

*******

The funeral goes as planned. Even with barely a 2-day notice, the community showed up. As with tradition, the family lined up beside the funeral altar–spouse first, followed by their children, according to birth order: Jin, Namjoon, YN, and Taehyung. Mourners were welcomed by Yoojung and Victoria at the door, and afterwards made their offerings to the dead, then paid their respects to the family.

Afterwards, everyone was invited to gather at the family’s restaurant for a brief reception.

Yoojung, who was feeling much better today, pulled it together to manage the whole event, as was her duty as the eldest son’s wife. Sam was on kid-duty while Vee made small-talk with other guests.

Hobi volunteered his time and one of his staff, Yoongi, to help with the reception. After he paid his respects earlier that morning, he went straight from the family home and into the restaurant to get everything set up before guests arrived for the reception. He was following Yoojung’s lead in terms of food and service, while he left Yoongi in charge to manage beverages.

When Jin arrived, he walked through the kitchen, thanking the staff for their hard work. He spotted Hobi walking through with an emptied chafing dish.

“Hobah?”

“Yes, hyung?” He puts the dish in the sink to soak. “Everything ok? Do you need anything?”

“No, everything’s great. I just wanted to thank you for keeping everything going and helping Yoojung.”

Hobi gives Jin a warm smile. “It’s the least I could do, hyung. Everybody’s here to celebrate appa. He’s touched their lives one way or the other.”

Jin gives a small nod, trying to keep his emotions in check. They may not have been related by blood or marriage–but he was always part of the family. “In any case, our family really, really appreciates it.”

Unprompted, Hobi moves in to give Jin a hug. He shakily accepts it, patting Hobi on the shoulder. “Thank you, brother,” Jin whispers before pulling away and walking off to check on Yoojung.

******

Eunhae steps into the kitchen in search of more napkins in the supply closet when she sees the backdoor ajar. She went to close it but stopped short when she saw Taehyung crouched on the stoop.

“Tae?”

His head jerks up at the sound of his name. “Oh…h-hey.”

“What are you doing here?” She asks. “Jungkook has been looking for you.”

He sighed. “I just wanted a little quiet before everyone got here,” he answers quietly then quickly gets up when sees her with the box of napkins in her hand.

“Hey–I can just get that,” he says, reaching for the napkins. “Why don’t you just chill out and get some food–”

“I don’t mind helping,” she smiled. “Yoojung-unnie needed an extra pair of hands so I offered.”

“I just don’t want you to think that we’re trying to put you to work or–”

She lays her hand on his wrist assuringly. “Taehyung,” she says firmly, “It’s alright. It’s like I said earlier when you called–I’m here for you.”

“I just…I feel really bad about all the stuff I said to you back at the hotel,” he says with regret.

That made the dull ache in Eunhae’s chest begin to move to the forefront but she’s able to push it back to the corner. Even though she wanted to talk to him about it too, this wasn’t the time nor the place. “Listen, why don’t we just get through today and if you’re feeling up to it, we can talk tomorrow? I was planning on driving back to the city tomorrow night.” Although Eunhae was allowed to do her work remotely, she still had to check into the office from time to time.

Taehyung gives a slight bob of his head. Eunhae gives him a polite smile in return. “C’mon, your noona’s asking for you.”

“Sure, I’ll be there in a sec,” he replies.

She turns to walk away but he calls out to her again. She turns around to face him.

“Thank you, Eunhae…for…” he sighed, seemingly at a loss for words. “...For everything.”

“You’re welcome.”

******

An hour-and-a-half into the reception, Namjoon steps to the front of the house to say a few words.

“Thank you, everyone, for coming. I think I speak on behalf of my mom, my siblings, and our respective partners and families,” he glances at Vee, who sat in one corner of the room, “...when I say that, my dad would have been touched knowing that you were all here to celebrate him.”

Then he chuckled. “I think he also would have found it funny that everyone would be fussing over him like this. He would have been the first to get up and tell everyone that we should just all go home, kick our shoes off and have a beer on the porch.”

There was a collective laugh that rang throughout the room.

He paused for a moment, eyes flicking downward to collect himself. Afterwards, he cleared his throat to continue. “It’s not traditional for us to do eulogies but…I’ve always thought that our family was never traditional in that sense anyway so, I don’t think the elders would mind if I read something.”

He opened the book that he clutched in his hand, where a passage was bookmarked. “This was one of the last things that I read to my dad. He and I loved to read together and have long conversations about whatever it was we just read. We’ve had some impassioned discussions and even epic debates that we settled by agreeing to disagree” he says with a chuckle. “But one thing’s for sure…” He paused again, feeling the tears creeping up. But he manages to hold back with a sniffle.

“Anyway, this passage is from ‘I Want to Write, But I Don’t Want to Write:’

A cynical attitude extorts all creations. It would've been better if I was only cynical, but because I'm both warm and cynical, I either burn hot or shiver in cold or lose my energy while going back and forth between the cold and heat.

Because the words and movies I loved were colossal, the closer I get to them, the more limitlessly small and shabby I feel.

You eventually happen to avoid people that make you feel small. Be it your lover, friends or even parents. And then you will have to change your true self.

Just like how you have to acknowledge and get rid of your fantasies about love in order to keep loving. Because no existence or values can be absolutely beautiful.

If the set of values that kept my current self synchronized was in full effect, I have to dispose of those values and keep going by forming a new set of them. Otherwise I have to quit everything boldly and find something else to do.

But sadly, my ordinary self is just standing still, unable to do either of them. In the end, I find myself meaninglessly romantic and contradictory for being unable to give up what I have to give up and gave up on myself instead.

Even if it may not be reachable, I currently don't know any other way than just heading towards that place.

Namjoon shut the book and tucked it between his palms, then hugged it to his chest. His eyes roamed the room, finding that there wasn't a dry eye in the house.

He lets out a shaky breath, finishing with, “I know my dad would have thought it was far-fetched that anybody would miss him,” he paused, “But you all being here proves him wrong. The fact is that we miss you, dad…a lot.”

His mom rose from her seat, walked towards him to kiss him on the cheek.

******

“Are you driving back tonight?” Namjoon asks Vee while he walks her to her car.

“Hmm…I was thinking about it,” she replies..

Namjoon’s expression became uneasy. “The weather reports say it’s supposed to rain tonight.” Vee drove a Porsche 911 Turbo. It was a death trap for Namjoon but she loved her little speed demon.

“Would you mind staying another night? I’ll pay for the hotel,” he offered while eyeing her car worriedly.

She smiled warmly and appreciated his concern. He may not love her anymore but it was good to know that he still had love for her.

“If it makes you feel better, I’ll stay another night and leave in the morning. You don’t need to pay for it.”

He nodded in gratitude. “Thanks for being here and…you know, doing all that…” He referred to her acting like a dutiful wife, talking to relatives and neighbors as if everything was normal.

She nodded politely. “You’re welcome. You gave a beautiful sendoff.”

He chuckled. “I’m glad you thought so.”

“You’ve always had a way with words.” She smiled at him before stepping into her car.

He lingered there for a bit, watching while she plugged her keys into the ignition. Then, he stepped off the curb, knocking on the passenger window. “Vee?”

She rolls it down to hear him better.

“When I get settled in my new place…we should talk.”

Her jaw nearly drops with his offer. “Uhm…yes…yeah…” she stuttered. “That would be great.”

He nodded. “For the baby.”

She nods in return. “Of course.” On that hopeful note, she pulls out of her parking spot to drive back to the hotel.

Namjoon turned on his heel to walk back to the restaurant to help clean up. On the path there, he comes across Sam, who looked like he was on a very terse phone call.

Sam gave a quick head bob upon eye contact. Namjoon acknowledges him before he ducks indoors.

******

After the memorial, everyone returns to the house. Everything had been such a blur in the last few hours–it’s hard to believe that it wasn’t even dinner time yet. Everybody looked exhausted and parked themselves as far as their bodies would take them. Jin and Yoojung sat in the dining room, making coffee, while Namjoon made himself a pot of instant jjajangmyeon.

Taehyung was sprawled on the family room’s floor, with his best friend Jungkook, while both kids horsed around them.

Your mom, mostly stoic in the last two days, carefully trudged back upstairs to nurse a headache.

“YN, you want some?” Namjoon offered.

You decline absentmindedly, trying to search for Sam. He may have gone straight upstairs to lay down.

Just then, Joobin comes running towards you with his iPad. “Mommy, my iPad is dead,” he complains.

“Why don’t you plug it in by the corner, bud?” You point towards the little table where you’ve set up a device charging station for the kids.

“I tried but it won’t work. I think the wire is broken.” You let out an exasperated sigh. It didn’t matter which ‘braided’ or ‘angled’ charging cable you bought to make your life easier when it came to the kids’ devices. They always found new ways to break whatever was touted as the most durable material on the market.

“Okay, why don’t you stay here and play with Uncle Tae and Jungkookie and I’ll check to see if daddy will let you borrow his. Sound good?”

With a big smile, he runs off and jumps into Jungkook’s arms.

When you round the corner from the stairs’ landing, you call out to Sam.

“Hey, can I borrow a charging cable–

Sam looks startled when you come to view.

“What’s all this?” You ask, gesturing at his luggage.

He sighed uncomfortably. “I…I have to leave.”

“Leave? Now?” You ask through gritted teeth.

“Uh…soon,” he replies.

You turn your head away so quickly to take a breath, calming yourself so as not to completely lash out at him while in a full house.

You quietly shut the door behind you before hissing at him. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, right? When were you going to tell me?”

“I–” he stuttered. “Look, I just got the call earlier, a little after the reception ended. I was going to tell you once everyone was settled in.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose, reining in your annoyance. You were exhausted and weren’t in the mood for an argument but he was really making it difficult to make this into a reasonable discussion.

“My UK deal is falling apart and I have to fly over there to save it.” It was as if he hadn’t even considered what you and your family had just gone through. Your dad was dead and Sam was ready for ‘business as usual.’ As if he actually tried to pause while your dad slowly faded away.

You scoffed. “And you didn’t tell them that you were in mourning? Are your bosses so self-absorbed that a death in the family is a non-factor?”

“They didn’t force me, YN. I made the call.”

Your jaw drops. You knew Sam valued his work but you didn’t think he would choose it over family.

“My dad just fucking died and you’re leaving? Were you just counting down the hours?”

He let out an exasperated groan. “Of course not. I didn’t come to this decision lightly.”

“Bullshit,” you spat out. “I am barely hanging on here and all I need is a little bit of support from my husband! Is that too much to ask?”

“I was here for you…I…I am! I left a fucking business deal on the table so I could be here for you!”

“You mean locking yourself in a room to be on the phone for hours on end is what you call ‘being there for me’? Entertaining the kids a couple hours at a time before your next conference call is your way of supporting me?”

“I’m doing the best I can, YN. We’ve been here for over a week already–”

“When you asked me to marry you…you said you would be a provider of this family. I…I honestly didn’t expect you to go above and beyond that promise, but you did. And for that, I will be forever grateful. In return, I wanted you to be able to live out your ambitions. You were great at what you do. So, I made a home for you and our children…tried to make the best of this marriage. And you can’t say that I didn’t try…because I fucking did.”

You met Sam during a rough period in your life. You were just getting over Hobi, adjusting to your new job, and living with Namjoon until you found a place of your own. It was a scary, transition period and suddenly, here was this nice, handsome man, handing you your transit card that you just dropped.

You weren’t looking for anything serious. He was a good distraction at the time…until you fell pregnant.

It was such an inopportune time and you contemplated not going through with it but Sam convinced you otherwise. He confessed his love for you and promised to take good care of you.

He said as much when you took him back here to face your parents and your brothers. He asked your dad for permission to marry you, to which he agreed, appreciating the gesture.

Namjoon was less than thrilled.

It wasn’t the dream wedding your mom had envisioned for you when you were a little girl but it was intimate and lovely. Everyone who mattered in your life was there.

It was touch-and-go at first and Sam was very patient. Somehow, he managed to juggle a new wife, a new baby, and a demanding job without breaking a sweat. It was what made you love him even more.

And it was good for the first two years…until problems started cropping up. You don’t get your dream job without sacrificing a few things along the way.

It started with little fights about why dinner wasn’t ready yet, or why that vacation was getting canceled again. You stopped communicating because he was at work all the time and you’d be tired from working and caring for Joobin.

But you didn’t want this marriage to fail. You sought counseling for a few months and it actually helped. Things seemed better. In fact, things felt so much better, that you decided to have a second child.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t long after Jooni was born that the same cracks in your marriage became evident once more. At that point, you had your hands full with managing your household and two children. You didn’t have the bandwidth to manage your husband.

“And now? I’m tired, Sam.” Your shoulders slumped while you stared at him.

Sam’s eyes stayed glued to you. He opens his mouth to try to argue but he snaps it shut instead. It was pointless. It was a valiant effort on both your parts but this decision was a long-time coming. It seemed as though you were just waiting for the other to pull the trigger.

He put his hands on his waist and sighed in defeat. “Can I at least say goodbye to the kids?”

You nodded softly. “Of course.”

You eyed each other silently from across the room. Knees feeling weak, you feel the need to sit yourself down on the mattress. You sighed with your head in your hands.

You feel the side of the mattress dip while he takes a seat beside you. “We had a good run, didn’t we?”

“Yeah,” you sniffled. “Damn,” you shook your head warily.

******

After Sam left, you went into the backyard, tidying up the kids’ toys. You weren’t quite ready to explain all of the details to them yet, even as he hugged them goodbye. You and Sam agreed to sit them down when you were both back in the city and all legalities have been set in motion.

You were in the midst of picking up Joobin’s dinosaurs when you heard Taehyung offer to help.

“Oh, I’m fine,” you replied.

He took two strides closer to you. “You don’t sound like you’re fine.”

You gave him the most genuine smile you could muster. “Tae, I’m fine.”

“C’mon, noona. I know you.”

You scoffed, shaking your head and continued to pick up action figures, tossing them into a bucket. “You say that as if you’re some expert.”

“I’m an expert in you.”

You laughed as you walked away from him. “Really?”

“Of course. I mean…you practically raised me.” That stopped you dead in your tracks until he caught up to you.

“When I’m confused or lost or struggling with a decision, I think about what noona would do.” Then he smiled broadly. “And I do it and…things turn out fine.”

Each of you had your own style of ‘lecturing’ Taehyung. Your approach wasn’t nagging but you always left room for him to make his own decisions. You didn’t realize that he would take those to heart.

You bit into your lip to stop it from quivering. “Tae…”

“Would you be mad if I tried to give you some advice?”

You laughed softly and shook your head emphatically.

He leaned in and rested his hands on your shoulders. “I want you to know that it’s okay to be fine. And you deserve to be fine,” he says firmly.

Your eyes welled up at your little brother’s words of comfort. Even in the moment when you feel the whole weight of the world on your shoulders, your family was here to remind you that they were here to share the load.

“Now, c’mon. Hobi-hyung just invited the whole family to drinks at Hangsang!”

“W-wait–but my kids?”

Taehyung grinned. “Mom says she’s got it. She says you deserve a drink or two.”

You nodded then began to walk back up the porch and into the house.

You paused at the threshold. “So…what about you? Are you…fine?” You hadn’t really had a conversation after he locked himself up in his room for nearly a day. You were understandably worried.

Taehyung’s mouth curved into a smile. “I’m on my way there.”

You cupped his cheek and gave it a little pinch. “Is Eunhae coming to Hangsang?”

He laughed softly. “Yeah, she is. She…volunteered to be designated driver.”

You chuckled and lifted a shoulder. “Maybe you’ll get to ‘fine’ quicker than you think.”

◤Previous | Part 8◥ | Main Fic Masterlist

Thank you for reading!

If you loved it and/or curious to learn more, please comment, reblog, or send me feedback! 📩. I love hearing from readers! If you didn’t like it so much, I would still like to hear about it 💜

Tagging: @internetjunkdrawer @deepseavibez @itdoesntmatterwhy @joonschocochip @raplinesmoon @kokoandkookie @ayoo-bangtan @agentsofshields @playmetheclassics @serendididy @shesoldbutcute @yu-justme @e-cm @whoisbts

#bts fanfiction #btshoneyhive #btscarnivalnet #kim seokjin #kim taehyung #jung hoseok #bts angst #seokjin angst #namjoon angst #taehyung angst #hoseok angst #hoseok fluff #seokjin fluff #bts kim line #seokjin fan fiction #namjoon fan fiction #taehyung fan fiction #hoseok fan fiction #scions x kims jhs

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shina913 · 2 years ago

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Joon and Jooni (A Scions Story) | KNJ

Joon and Jooni (A Scions Story)

✼Scions Masterlist✼

Pairing: Fem!Reader Sister + Kim Brothers; Namjoon x Fem OC (named)

Rating: M (🔞)

Genre: Siblings!AU; Marriage!AU; FWB!AU; exes to ?; Mom!Reader; Brother’s Best Friend; drama; angst; smut; fluff

Warnings: angsty fluff (is there such a thing?); lots of sentimentality; mentions of minor character death; vulnerable confessions; parenting fears; allusions to infidelity; cussing; marriage troubles; OC goes into early labor; mentions of childbirth but no explicit descriptions; mentions of C-section; newborn baby goes into NICU; lots of ultra-soft!Joon moments; terrible double-entendre about Happy Meals

Word count: 4,772K

A/N: This was meant to be a flashback insert for the actual next chapter of Scions but...things got out of hand, per usual 🤡 Anyway, a bunch of medical terms mentioned here. I am no expert--I just pulled a lot from my own birthing experience. If you’re in the medical field, I apologize for any inaccuracies! This also starts off on one scene from Scions 6 (when Joon rushes out).

Terms: Braxton-Hicks contractions. Also known as prodromal or false labor pains, are contractions of the uterus that typically are not felt until the second or third trimester of the pregnancy.

NICU. A neonatal intensive care unit, also known as an intensive care nursery, is an intensive care unit specializing in the care of ill or premature newborn infants.

Preeclampsia. A serious condition during pregnancy. Signs of preeclampsia are high blood pressure, protein in your urine and swelling.

VBAC. Acronym for vaginal birth after Cesarean.

Days ago, Namjoon sat on a park bench overlooking the lake while he contemplated Victoria's news.

I’m here to let you know that I’m keeping it…You can be as involved as you want…or not.

Then he thought back to their conversation at the driveway before she left to return to the hotel.

“What does Jax think of all this?” Namjoon asked.

“I mean…” Victoria paused to let out an uncomfortable breath, “I don’t really expect anything from him. But you know, he’s…surprisingly supportive about the whole situation.”

Namjoon laughed bitterly. “Wow, supportive,” he repeats mockingly.

“Namjoon, please,” she begged. “I’m not here to argue or anything like that. I know that you wanted a clean break–I’m sorry that I fucked that up with this,” she gestured at her abdomen.

“I just thought that you had a right to know. And…frankly, when I heard about your dad…I thought that he could use…I don’t know, some light in the darkness? He treated me like his own daughter…more than my own dad,” she added.

Namjoon threw his head back and sighed. Even though his mom had reservations about Vee when he first brought her to his hometown, his dad had always been welcoming.

“Listen, if you want to talk some more about…I don’t know, logistics, about…the baby, living arrangements…I’m staying at the Hilton, room 912. I’ll be around…you know, until–” she stopped short of saying ‘until your dad passes on.’ She shook her head and instead said, “Just call me.”

Namjoon buried his head in his hands. He felt lost and confused. This was a less-than-ideal situation.

When he and Vee met, they seemed to have settled on the fact that neither of them had a strong desire to have children.

I wouldn’t even know where to begin to parent a kid since my own parents were never there for me. Why would I subject an innocent child to that, was what she used to say.

And he would respond with, I don’t think I’m equipped to be a parent. Plus, my mom and I always had trouble getting along…I was such a bad kid.

It wasn’t until after Jooni was born that things took an interesting turn for them.

3 years ago…

“Oppa! Watch out!”

Namjoon narrowly avoids a cyclist, while he rushes through the city streets to get YN to the hospital. The day started off mundanely enough…oh, and it was also his birthday!

Victoria was in meetings most of the day but she made dinner reservations at their favorite restaurant to celebrate. YN decided to surprise Namjoon at his workplace right before lunchtime to bring him miyeokguk and a small cake.

As soon as he blew out the candles, she nearly dropped the cake when she felt a sharp pain in her abdomen.

This was her second pregnancy and she’s said a few times that it’s been more challenging than the first. On top of preeclampsia, she would feel waves of Braxton Hicks contractions–not that he would know much about that but by the way she sucked in sharp breaths at times and releasing them with near-guttural groans, he deduced that they were pretty bad.

The one that she got in Namjoon’s studio had her doubled-over in pain. She was only a day shy of 35 weeks.

“You’ll ruin your perfect driving record,” she gasped in between breaths.

“Do you really think that I care about that now while you’re going into early labor in my car?”

******

“I know, I know…it’s not time yet but…” YN paused to let out a deep breath as another contraction rolled. Once the pain had passed, she turned back to reassure Sam on the phone.

“I’m sure they’ll still let me do the C-section. It’s too risky for a VBAC with my medical history…I know, I know…I’m okay. Namjoon-oppa drove me here and I talked to Joobin's teacher to let her know that Vee will pick him up around 5…Okay. Have a safe flight, yeobo. I’ll see you soon…Love you, too.”

As soon as she get off the phone with Sam, Namjoon comes back into the room. He was visibly annoyed.

He curses under his breath. “Why is it so difficult to get a nurse in here?”

She sighed and rested her hand on her stomach instinctively. “Joon, calm down.” She was in a meditative state, her deep breathing rocking the baby in her belly. “Someone will be here soon. And I just heard back from my doctor. She’s finishing up with another patient then hauling ass over here from the clinic.”

Namjoon nods, momentarily calming down until he catches a glimpse of one of the monitors that showed her blood pressure reading.

“Jesus–your blood pressure is crazy! Are you sure you feel fine? It’s at–”

“Oppaaa…” she drag out with her eyes closed, “I am fully aware and I don’t need to know what the reading is. It doesn’t help me.” She puffed her cheeks and let out another deep breath. “I feel fine…with the exception of…mmmppfff…the pain,” she groaned.

Just then, one of the nurses who hooked her up to an I.V. returns with an attending to check her vitals and how everything was progressing. The doctor introduces themself as Dr. Shin before lifting up the sheet to check how far along she was. The action completely takes Namjoon by surprise as he instantly turns his head away.

“Woah–doc, can you at least give me a warning before you do that?” He exclaimed, trying to shield his eyes with his hand.

“It’s not like it’s anything you haven’t seen before,” the doctor says.

“Uhm–he’s not the dad, doctor,” the nurse corrects.

“He’s my brother,” YN says.

“Yes and I have no plans on seeing what goes on down there as far as my sister is concerned,” he added uncomfortably, making YN laugh.

After a quick apology, the doctor finishes the pelvic exam and says, “Alright, so–looks like you’re at 5 centimeters. We can give you the epidural now.”

“Uhm…” she hesitated, “I’m actually waiting for my doctor. She said that she was on her way here from the clinic. This is my second baby and I’m supposed to have a scheduled C-section–I don’t know if they filled you in–”

His eyes widened as if finally realizing something. “Ahhh, yes–I’m sorry. You’re Dr. Kwan’s patient, right?”

“Yes,” YN smiled nervously.

“So, I don’t know how long ago you spoke because she just paged me before I came in here to say that her current patient’s case is a bit more complicated…” he explains, “I’m afraid you’re stuck with me,” the doctor grimaced.

YN’s face falters with the thought of not having her doctor by her side. Most women who gave birth typically had whoever was on-call deliver their baby and she got lucky with Joobin the first time as Dr. Kwan called her in to be induced the next day on account of her being overdue by a week.

She didn’t think she’d go into early labor since Joobin was late. But this little girl–who has yet to be named–is impatient to make her debut.

Dr. Shin is reassuring. “Don’t worry–we’ll prep you for your C-section very soon. I’ll call the anesthesiologist to get you an epidural instead of the spinal block since you went into labor. That takes care of the pain you’re feeling for now and we’ll top you off once we get to the OR. Sound good?”

After a beat, YN nodded.

The doctor then turns his attention to Namjoon. “I don’t think you’ll want to be in the room while she gets the epidural,” he says in a considerate tone.

Namjoon shoots a glance at her and she shakes her head at him. “Yeah, no. It’s best that you don’t see all that.” He recalled Sam saying something about turning green while he watched them stick a big needle into her spine.

******

Namjoon steps out of the hospital room to call and check in on Victoria and Joobin.

“Hey, baby.”

“Hey…how is she?”

“They’re doing the epidural right now. The nurse said that it’s something that might traumatize me so I’m out here in the hallway waiting for my mom to get here. How are you and little man doing?”

“Oh, we’re good right now. I got him a Happy Meal on our way home, so he’s pretty content,” she laughed.

Namjoon chuckled into the phone. “When do I get my Happy Meal from you?”

Vee laughs on the other line then lowers her voice. “I thought I always gave you a Happy Meal?”

A tired laugh rumbled from his chest. “Yeah, but it’s my birthday,” he teases.

She crooned into the phone. “Fine. I’ll make it extra happy for you when you get home tonight.”

Namjoon grins, even though he’s unsure of what time he’s getting out of the hospital. Then, he hears Joobin in the background. “Auntie Vee, can I talk to my mommy?”

Vee murmurs something back to Joobin in response before letting Namjoon know that she was switching her phone’s audio to speaker mode.

“Hey, buddy. Mommy’s resting right now but as soon as she wakes up, I’ll give Auntie Vee a call back so you can say ‘hi,’ okay?”

Joobin agrees and Vee tells Namjoon that returned to playing with his action figures.

Vee didn’t usually like interacting with kids. She tried to avoid them at all costs. When Joobin was born, she didn’t care much for him at first. But she surprisingly took to him, little by little.

She wanted to hold him and didn’t mind giving him a bottle. She actually liked being around him, especially when he got older. Still, he considered it a huge ask for her to pick up Joobin to watch him for a few hours since there was no time to get a sitter.

Namjoon was about to speak but stopped short when he saw his mom rushing down the hallway. She happened to have a meeting with her agent closeby and drove to the hospital as soon as she was done.

“Baby, I’ll call you in a bit. My mom just got here. Thanks again for taking Joobin. I love you!”

“Just keep me posted okay? Love you, too,” she signs off.

“Hi, sweetheart.” His mom greets him with a hug. “What a birthday for you, huh?”

“Thanks,” he says wryly.

“How’s she doing?”

He shrugged. “Better now, I think. She seems happier since they’re giving her something for the pain. They said it was better for me to wait out here.”

“Oh, good. I’m guessing they warned you about fainting?”

Namjoon nodded. “And they told me that if I passed out that they would just leave me there.”

She chuckled. “Well, they don’t care about the men because their priority is the mom. Besides, if you happen to faint, you’ll wake up on your own eventually. No harm done!”

She pats his cheek gently before she walks into the room.

*****

Namjoon fully intended to go home but after YN was prepped for surgery and the nurses started to wheel her into the operating room, he decided to hang around and wait. He thought that maybe he could catch a glimpse of the baby before leaving.

And he did. Namjoon lit up as he saw the bassinet coming in his direction with her face peeking out of her generic newborn beanie. After snapping a quick photo with his phone, he sees that his mom had a worried look on her face.

“We need to take her to the NICU for a bit. Something about the way her cries sounded—like she was having trouble breathing,” his mom explained.

“I-is she gonna be okay? How’s YN?”

“She’s fine. She’s in recovery right now but she’s still out of it.”

“Wait—she’s by herself?” He asked incredulously.

“Of course not. There’s a nurse there but I have to go and sit with the baby until they say that she’s well enough to join her.”

As if on cue, the baby lets out a garbled cry.

“Ma’am, I’m sorry to cut this family reunion short but we need to get this little one hooked up to a monitor soon,” the nurse interrupts.

Namjoon responded right away without giving it much thought. “I’ll stay with her while you can keep YN company.”

“A-are you sure?” His mom asks.

He nodded. “I’m sure YN will feel better if she sees family there when she comes out of anesthesia.”

They look to the nurse for approval.

“That’s fine. Just follow me, then,” she says in a rush to Namjoon, continuing to push the bassinet towards the NICU while his mom scurried back towards the recovery room.

******

Dull, rhythmic beeping fills the silence in the room. There was only one other baby there and their case seemed worse than his niece’s so the nurse hovered more closely.

After Namjoon was masked up and given a hospital smock, the nurse explained that his niece’s lungs contained a bit of fluid, which apparently is fairly common for babies born via C-section.

Thankfully, she didn't need additional oxygen. The nurse assured Namjoon that the fluid would just make its own way out. It just needed some time.

He sat next to her bassinet, watching the rise and fall of her chest. She looked like she was just chilling, with her tiny arms and legs splayed. The nurse dressed her down to just her diaper and a duck-shaped heart monitor stuck to her torso.

“You can talk to her, if you want?” The nurse urged when she approached to check on the baby’s readings. “All the parents do. It helps.”

“Oh, I’m her uncle,” Namjoon corrects her. “Her dad is on a plane making his way back, though.”

The nurse’s eyes crinkled, signaling that she was smiling through her surgical mask. “That’s okay. You can still talk to her.”

“Uh…w-what do I say?” He hesitated.

“I’m sure you’ll think of something, samchon,” she says before walking away.

Namjoon leaned in closer and gazed at his niece. How do you talk to a baby? How would you even begin? He barely remembers the time when Joobin was a newborn. He met him a couple of times but after that, Namjoon was deep into producing Jaxon’s album.

With one finger, he reached into the bassinet to touch her palm. On contact, he couldn’t help but smile.

“Hi,” he said softly. “I know you can’t understand me right now but I hope you can hear me.” He slowly ran his finger on her hand.

He scoots closer then reaches in with his other hand to caress her cheek.

“You are so cute,” he cooed in a voice that didn’t match his size. “You definitely got that from our side of the family,” he says confidently.

“Although…” He cocked his head sideways, as if to look at his niece from a different angle. “You kind of look like Taehyungie when he was a baby…But we don’t want him to know that so he doesn’t claim ‘favorite uncle,’” he adds jokingly.

He smiled and continued to stare at her affectionately. He continued to wrack his brain for anything else that he could say while she laid there, simply breathing in and out.

He wasn’t quite sure why but his heart swelled with every breath she took. At barely a few hours old, he could see the fight in her.

“I want you to know that Uncle Joonie will be right here until you feel better, okay? I won’t let go.” He pulled his mask down for a moment and lifted her little hand to his lips to kiss it.

When he sets it back down in the bassinet, she gives his finger a squeeze.

******

Namjoon left shortly after Sam arrived at the hospital, coming straight from the airport. He doesn’t stay long because YN asks him to pick up Joobin so he can take him home. Namjoon’s mom volunteers to stay the night with YN.

Two hours later, Sam shows up at their door and carries a sleeping Joobin into his car, thanking them for all their help.

After Sam leaves, Namjoon sinks into the couch, suddenly feeling tired. He just realizes that he was at the hospital for over eight hours. All that waiting around was draining.

Right before he drifts off, Vee emerges from the kitchen singing ‘happy birthday’ whilst holding a cake with a lit candle.

It may have been a long day for him but it wasn’t over yet. It was still his birthday.

Namjoon lets out a weak chuckle and sits up straight while Vee sits on the coffee table in front of him to hold the cake out for him.

He closed his eyes for a few beats to make a wish, then blew the candle out.

“What did you wish for?” She asked.

“Isn’t it bad luck to say your wish out loud?” He dipped his finger into the frosting and licked it off.

She laughed softly. “Only if you believe that kind of thing.”

“This day has given me a different perspective.” He paused to think about everything that happened today. This morning, he woke up feeling completely ordinary. It was just another year, no big deal.

She cocked her head sideways and set his cake down on the table. “How so?”

“You’re going to laugh but I found myself volunteering to sit in a room alone with my niece for a couple hours.”

Her mouth is agape, raising an eyebrow upon hearing that. “Really?”

“Yeah. They had to monitor her for a bit and…I don’t know, I just talked to her.”

Vee cracked a warm smile and moved closer to him. “You did?”

Namjoon nodded. “And I held her hand…” he smiled at the memory. “It was the best feeling,” he sighed happily. “I don’t think I held Joobin until he was at least 10 months old. And he was a hefty kid!”

She smiled endearingly at him. “And this is related to your wish…because?”

He stared at Vee quietly, the same way he did his niece. They were perfectly happy with their lifestyle: working, traveling, no kids to worry about. But something about the warmth that bloomed in his chest when he held his baby niece’s hand gripped him in a way that he couldn’t explain.

“I wished to feel that same feeling again except… for us…with our own baby,” he said slowly.

Vee stared blankly at him. This wasn’t in their plan. They both worked too much and were accustomed to going out at every chance they got.

Immediately, Namjoon tries to explain himself knowing full-well that he and Vee had long-established in their relationship that kids were just not at the top of their list of priorities. “I-I know what you’re thinking—“

He stops talking at the touch of her hand. She brushed her thumb over his cheek, smiling at him. Then, she pulled at his shirt, bringing him closer for a kiss.

“Why don’t we start tonight? I still owe you that birthday Happy Meal,” she laughed.

He beamed, sinking his teeth into his bottom lip. “I won’t say no to that.”

It seemed like an impulsive decision but Namjoon was a whole bundle of love that day, all because of his baby niece. He knew right when she tugged at his finger, she had him wrapped up in hers.

******

The next morning, on his way to work, Namjoon decided to stop by the hospital. He cracked the door open, announcing his arrival. “Are you decent?” He asks, in case YN was nursing the baby.

“Yes,” she laughed from behind the curtain. “Come on in! We’re just having a little snuggle.”

He found her with her back reclined to the bed, the baby sleeping on her chest.

Namjoon bends a little to have a look at her while her head rests on her mom’s shoulder. “Wow, she already looks so different!”

She agrees with him. “She does, huh? By the way, I heard that you were really good with her in the NICU. Watched her like a hawk,” she smiled.

Namjoon chuckled while he sat on the chair next to the bed.

“Do you want to hold her?”

The question takes Namjoon by surprise.

“A-are you sure?” He was notoriously clumsy so he wanted to make sure that his sister knew what she was asking him to do.

“Of course!” She sat up gingerly, wincing as her incision site was still sore. Namjoon helped her out of the bed until she was steady on her feet.

“What if I drop her?” He panics.

“Oppa, when you love something this precious, dropping them is the last thing you’ll ever do,” she assured him. “Now, sit back down and I’ll hand her to you.”

“Uh…o-okay…” He nervously lowered himself into the seat once more. Holding the baby securely with one hand, YN grabs one of the extra pillows at the foot of the bed with her free hand and sets it under Namjoon’s elbow.

She instructed him to hold out his hands. He does so but keeps his elbows tucked to his sides.

She gently peels the baby off her chest, making her flinch at the loss of warmth. It doesn’t help Namjoon’s nerves.

YN sees Namjoon tense up. “You have to relax. Babies can smell fear,” she joked.

He scowls at her. “Not funny.”

There was no turning back now. The handoff is awkward, as expected, but he takes his niece, and immediately curls his arms inwards to hold her close to his chest. She whines a little and it makes him more nervous. YN tries to rearrange his arms on the chair, almost like a marionette, in what she thought would be a more comfortable but still secure position for him.

When he finally settled in, the baby instinctively nuzzled into his chest. It made him visibly relax. His shoulders sink into the chair while she falls back to sleep in his arms.

“See? That wasn’t so bad, right?” YN remarked.

Namjoon gives a vague hum and continues to stare at the baby. Without prompting, he dipped his head lower and lifted his arms slightly so he could brush the tip of his nose against her forehead. She lets out a little yawn, which endears him.

YN smiled warmly at the moment that just unfolded then quietly reached for her phone to snap a candid photo of them.

Without looking up at YN, he asks, “Have you guys thought of a name yet? I know you said that you were tossing a few around but decided to wait until you got a good look at her.”

“Yeah. Sam and I came up with it last night. Well,” she added quickly, “I actually suggested it first. He agreed and thought it was perfect.”

He finally managed to tear his eyes away from his newborn niece. “And?” He waits expectantly.

YN smiled knowingly at him. “Say ‘hello’ to–”

“Jooniyah!” Namjoon called out to his niece. “That spot is all messed up. I don’t want you tripping over and hurting yourself.” The path, although paved, was dangerously uneven because of tree roots pushing up from under the concrete.

He paced around nervously, ensuring that Jooni moved away from that part of the playground before he sat back down. He volunteered to bring the kids to the park while his other siblings helped make arrangements for his dad's memorial.

Namjoon wanted the kids to feel some type of normalcy as a dark cloud hung over the Kim household. He thought that it was perfectly fine to take some time away from mourning their grandfather. They were still so little after all.

“Jooni! Come and get me!!!” Joobin giggled as he outran his sister.

Jooni gives up as her brother zooms around the playground. Instead of going after him, she runs towards the park bench where Namjoon sat. “I need to take a little break, oppa!” Jooni panted as he handed her a water bottle.

She takes a long swig. Afterwards, she says, “Uncle Joonie?”

“Yes, princess?”

“Is Uncle TaeTae gonna be okay?”

His eyebrows furrowed at Jooni’s concern for Taehyung. He hadn’t come out of his room since the mortuary took away their father’s body.

Namjoon paused to think of a way he could explain it to her in simple terms but he wouldn’t dare sugarcoat the situation. He knows that his niece and nephew were wise beyond their years and that YN always tried her best to talk about difficult subjects with her children as openly as she could.

He pulls Jooni close to him and cups her little face. “Uncle TaeTae is very sad that harabeoji is gone. He needs some time to process.”

“But we’re sad, too.”

“Yes, we are,” he agrees soberly. “But we all feel differently and we all deal with it in different ways. For example, halmeoni likes to clean and organize things. Uncle Jin stays close to Auntie Yoojung; your mommy likes to keep herself busy by cooking; while I like to go out to get some air and have some time to think. Uncle Tae…he likes to be left alone.”

Jooni pursed her lips. “I like to be alone sometimes, too.”

Namjoon’s heart lurched. Some days, he had to remind himself that Jooni was all but three-and-a-half. But her thought process, the way she felt things…she seemed more mature than most kids her age. Then again, he was biased.

He lifted her chin up then gave her a soft smile. “But you know that you don’t have to be alone, right? And if you feel like you need to, you can always talk to somebody?”

She twisted her lips wryly. “Yeah.”

Namjoon lowered his neck at her. “Do you want to talk to samchonie about it?” He asked with a small smile.

She shook her quietly.

He nodded. “That’s okay. You just need some time…just like Uncle Tae.”

She nodded in return and not long after was suddenly distracted by Joobin flying down the big slide at the park with a loud whoop, landing on his butt on the ground.

Namjoon’s head snaps up in Joobin’s direction and runs towards him to check for any injuries.

“I’m okay, Uncle Joon,” he giggled, dusting his bottom off and turning the corner to go up the steps again.

Namjoon sighed in exasperation. “Aigooo…Joobinah! Don’t do that again. I’m going to get in trouble with your mom if I have to rush you to the ER,” he calls out to him but Joobin ignores him.

“Jooniyah! Come on!” Joobin waves to her from the top of the slide before pushing off down the structure.

Namjoon turns to look at Jooni. “Why don’t you go play with oppa?”

She shook her head. “I’m scared. It’s so high.”

“What if you and Joobin slide down together?”

She shook her head again. “He goes too fast! What if I fall?”

He wrinkled his eyebrows then squinted. Seconds later, he gets an idea. “Would it help if…we went down the slide together?”

She thought about it first. “You won’t let me go?”

“Of course not. I’ll hold on to you real tight, I promise,” he reassures her.

After a bit more hesitation, she acquiesces. “Okay.”

Namjoon grinned. Before climbing up the slide, Joobin asked to be spun around a sit-and-spin, to which he obliged.

They climb up the steps to the top of the big slide. Namjoon barely fit the structure but he promised Jooni that he would go down with her.

He waited while she took her place in between his legs, where he held her securely.

“Are you ready, princess?”

“Uhh…”

Sensing the hesitation in her voice, he gives her shoulders a gentle squeeze. “Hey, remember, I said that you can hold onto me as tight as you want. And I promise that I won’t let go until we reach the bottom, okay?”

She gave him a small nod. “Okay.”

“Okay,” he reassures her. “On the count of three, we’ll push off. Ready? One, two, three!”

Down they went, Jooni’s fingers clutching onto Namjoon’s jeans as she let out a little squeal.

For a 3-year old, that slide went fast. And when they got to the bottom, Namjoon checked on her.

“Are you okay, Jooni? Are you still scared?”

She turned her head to face him, her lips curving upwards into a grin. “That was so cool, Uncle Joonie! Again!” She exclaims as she scrambles off his lap.

He laughs then runs after her. “Slow down! Wait for me!”

Though he still had some warranted fears about fatherhood, at that moment, he started to feel optimistic about it.

◤Previous | Part 7◥ | Main Fic Masterlist

Thank you for reading!

If you loved it and/or curious to learn more, please comment, reblog, or send me feedback! 📩. I love hearing from readers! If you didn’t like it so much, I would still like to hear about it 💜

Tags: @internetjunkdrawer @deepseavibez @itdoesntmatterwhy @joonschocochip @raplinesmoon @kokoandkookie @ayoo-bangtan @agentsofshields @majamarantha @serendididy @e-cm @ssweetsunflower

#bts fan fiction #namjoon #btswritingcafe #btshoneyhive #btscarnivalnet #kim namjoon #bts angst #namjoon angst #bts kim line #namjoon fan fiction #namjoon fluff #scions x kims jhs

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shina913 · 2 years ago

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Scions Chapter 8 update!

Read more below 👇🏼

I know it's been a while since Chapter 7 was posted but I'm so excited about how this new chapter is going. I've been writing a lot and just capitalizing on momentum.

Since this chapter is shaping up to be complicated, there's a lot of moving parts and shifting POVs so I've decided to post it in pieces with the first one going up this weekend.

To those who are still reading this series, thank you so much. And those who have recently discovered it and sent asks and DM'ed me--thank you! 🥹

I know this story is super dramatic and it's just all heavy angst but I appreciate those who still read it and let me know. I *hope* to finish this series in the next few weeks so that I can continue with my other ongoing series 🥲 I promise it won't take another 4 months for the next update 🤡

If you feel so inclined to catch up, here's the link to the Series Masterlist. 💜

#shina ramblings #shina wips #scions x kims jhs

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shina913 · 2 years ago

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Ugh. I'm sick and my only consolation is that I’m dropping a little Scions one-off today. It's basically a flashback that's gone way too long, per usual.

Hope to post ~2PM PST.

It's a little soft!Joon moment.

#shina wips #scions x kims jhs #on the next chapter of scions #shina ramblings

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shina913 · 2 years ago

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omg thank you for blessing us with you writing!! *chefs kiss*

absolutely love the fact that they’re her siblings and the dynamic betweent.

and the ending ahhhh, i cannot wait to see more of hobi & reader.

Hi!!! Thank you for being so lovely 🥹 I love writing sibling relationships! It’s just so fun to explore.

Thank you sm for reading 🥹 I hope to wrap this story up soon. It’s been a long journey lol but thanks for sticking with it!!

#willshebloved #scions x kims jhs reblog

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shina913 · 2 years ago

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Is scions on hold at the moment?

Hello, anon! No, it's not. I have a short draft for Part 8 but I haven't gone back to it yet. I haven't had much inspiration on it lately and don't get much feedback. I also got a bit distracted with a few things 😬

But since I have you here, is there anything that you'd like to read or look forward to in the next chapter? I have a rough outline but since you are probably one of two people who actively ask about it, I want to get your thoughts on it (if you're open to sharing) 🙇🏻‍♀️

Thank you, love 💜

#shina anon asks #scions x kims jhs reblog

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shina913 · 2 years ago

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ahh you did it again!! ty for another amazing chapter. the emotions felt so real

Aww...thank you, my dear!!! Hoping to move past some of the angst on the next chapter. Thank you so much for reading and leaving me feedback 🥺 💜

#willshebloved #scions x kims jhs reblog

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shina913 · 2 years ago

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just wanted to say i absolutely love your scion series and its so hard to balance multiple characters but you do a PHENOMENAL job! can’t wait for the next chapter!!!

Hi there! This is such a lovely note 🥺 Thank you so much for reading Scions. I've said this before and I'll say it again but--I know that this story doesn't get as many notes or feedback but whenever I receive any, I truly cherish it! This story is very emotionally-driven for me and there's also a bit of wish-fulfillment on my part.

Thank you so much for looking forward to the next chapter! I will have more in the coming days 🤗 Happy new year! 🎊

#willshebloved #scions x kims jhs reblog

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shina913 · 1 day ago

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Scions, Ch.9 | Kim Line + JHS

Scions (series)

sci·on | \ ˈsī-ən \ Definition: (1) a descendant (2) a shoot or twig, especially one cut for grafting or planting

✼Scions Masterlist✼

Pairing: Sister!Reader + Kim brothers; JHS x Fem!Reader; some POV shifts in scenes

Rating: M (🔞)

Genre: ANGST!!!!!! Siblings!AU; Marriage!AU; Family!AU; FWB!AU; exes to ?; siblings' best friend; smut; fluff

Chapter warnings: heavy drama; references to character death (not the members); grieving/mourning; infidelity; references to pregnancy loss; allusions to smut but nothing explicit

Word count: 9.9k

A/N: I'm back (sort of)! I'm happy to have been able to revisit this story, this family, and this AU. There are many moving parts to this chapter--POV shifts over multiple scenes. To think this all happens in a span of 24hrs (in this AU) 😵‍💫

I want to say that this is the penultimate chapter, as this story is about to come to an end. Hopefully, it won’t take me another year to finish the finale 😬

Last year, my family experienced a loss. I channeled much of the emotions from that experience into this chapter. My hope is that you'll find it as cathartic to read as I found it to write.

If you’re still following along (after all this time), thank you for sticking around and I want you to know that I appreciate you🩵

“Would anybody care for some shots?” Taehyung asks nobody in particular after you all walk through the door.

Your mind lingers on what you witnessed before leaving the bar. Though drowning the memory with more drinks is tempting, you decide against it. “I’ve had enough for tonight, thanks,” you say. “If you guys are drinking more, can you please try to keep it down?” you ask your brothers as you head upstairs to check on your kids.

“Welp, since she’s out…” Taehyung looks at his brothers expectantly.

“Sure, pour me one,” Namjoon says.

Taehyung looks at Jin, who sighs and eventually acquiesces. “Okay, but only if we drink something better than that shit tequila from the cupboard!”

“Aww, but it’s tradition,” Taehyung whines. “And, if I remember correctly, it was you who introduced us to that shit tequila!”

“Not by choice!” Jin says wryly, glancing at Namjoon.

“Me? It’s not my fault I caught you sneaking around,” Namjoon retorts with a chuckle.

“Yeah, but then you got YN and him into it—ugh,” Jin groans. Realizing the argument is dampening the mood, he says, “Nevermind. The point is, I have something better!”

He walks up to one of the lower kitchen cabinets and retrieves an unlabeled bottle–no taller than seven inches–containing an amber-colored liquid.

Taehyung picks it up and holds it against the light, eyeing it curiously. “What is it?” he asks.

“A side project I’ve been working on,” Jin answers, his tone filled with quiet pride. “It’s a whiskey that I made using traditional methods. Namjoon gave me the idea for it a couple of years ago.”

A smile tugs at Namjoon’s lips as he recalls the night. Admittedly, it was more of a drunken suggestion than a moment of genius, but seeing Jin’s dedication to bringing it to life fills him with a sense of admiration.

Jin continues, “I finally figured out a great recipe.”

“Do you have a name for it?” Namjoon asks.

“For now, it’s ��Number 20’—as in, it’s my 20th attempt,” Jin chuckles softly. As his laughter subsides, he turns wistful. “A few weeks ago, before he went to the hospital, Dad took a sip and…he suggested we sell it in small batches. He thought it had the potential to be something special.”

Namjoon and Taehyung go quiet, at the mention of your dad’s memory.

Jin clears his throat, in an attempt to keep the tone light. “Anyway, I can’t think of a better time to share it with my brothers.”

Taehyung carefully unscrews the cap of the bottle. He lifts the bottle to his nose and takes a sniff of its contents, his face immediately contorts in reaction. “Oof…the smell alone feels like it’s going to knock me out for the next couple of days,” he exclaims with a hearty laugh that echoes through the room. He then passes the bottle to Namjoon, whose expression quickly mirrors Taehyung’s grimace as the potent smell hits his nostrils.

Jin laughs at their reactions. “It’s a little concentrated, I know. Dad took a fat nap after we took shots.”

Smiling fondly, Taehyung looks at his older brothers. “What are we standing around for? Let’s grab some glasses!”

Namjoon retrieves three glencairn glasses from the cupboard and lines them up in front of his younger brother, who starts pouring.

“Okay-okay-okay, that’s more than enough!” Jin sputters, scolding Taehyung for his heavy-handedness. “Just go up to here.” He holds his finger up to the fullest part of the glass.

Taehyung snickers, takes the ‘overpoured’ glass for himself, and passes the other two to his older brothers. “The Kim brothers, together again,” he beams as he picks up his drink.

Namjoon smiles warmly at his younger brother’s sentimentality.

“Should we toast to anything?” Taehyung turns to Jin, who looks puzzled.

“What are you looking at me for? He’s the spokesperson of this family,” he points to Namjoon.

Namjoon rolls his eyes. “I think I’ve done enough speaking today, thanks.”

“Why don’t you say something, hyung? It doesn’t have to be deep,” Taehyung laughs.

“Why do we have to say anything at all? Can’t we just drink it?” Jin complains.

“I’m sure you have something in mind,” Namjoon coaxes. “Just say whatever feels right.”

Jin puffs his cheeks out and blows out a breath. He wasn’t poetic like Namjoon, nor was he tender-hearted like Taehyung.

He was ‘just Jin.’ The oldest brother, who took it upon himself to move back home after graduating college to help out in the family business; married his high school sweetheart and bought a house in the same neighborhood as his childhood home.

The one who constantly looked in on his retired parents while all of his siblings flew the nest to pursue opportunities away from home.

Shaking his thoughts away, he raises his glass, and his brothers mirror his gesture. “Alright, alright.” He clears his throat before continuing. “At the risk of sounding cheesy, I’d like to say that although this may not have been the best circumstance to bring us all together, I’m still glad that we’re all together. And I hope we can do this more often, even without dad or mom prompting us.”

Namjoon and Taehyung stare at Jin with goofy smiles on their faces.

He groans in mild annoyance. “See, I told you guys—”

“That was beautiful, hyung,” Taehyung remarks.

“I agree. Couldn’t have said it better myself,” Namjoon adds.

Jin’s ears turn red with a mix of embarrassment and pride as his brothers shower him with compliments. In his heart, he hopes that their beloved father, wherever he is, can see this moment.

“Cheers!”

His younger brothers clinked their glasses against his, then tilted them to their lips for a sip.

********

You’re in bed, tossing and turning. You feel tired, but sleep won’t come. You wish you had accepted Taehyung’s offer for a night cap. It might have helped subdue all the racing thoughts in your head and the emotions you’ve been feeling all day. From your dad’s memorial to the shock of Sam’s divorce filing.

That kiss…

You squeeze your eyes shut at the memory. Grabbing a pillow, hold it to your face, and muffle your frustrated groans into it. Then with a huff, you roll out of bed.

When you step out into the hallway, you pad your way to your parents’ bedroom first. You poke your head in to find your kids peacefully asleep with your mom. The sight of it is heartwarming, despite the chaos swirling in your head.

You head downstairs to the kitchen and make your way to a specific cupboard. There, hidden behind some condiments, you find the communal tequila bottle. This is the same bottle you and your brothers used to sneak sips from, always making sure to top it off to the marked level so your dad wouldn’t notice.

That was, until one fateful night when Taehyung not only left it out on the counter but also forgot to refill it. Your dad was furious, and Jin, being the noble brother he is, tried to take all the blame. Despite his efforts, the guilt got to all of you, leading to a group confession. In the end, instead of scolding you, your dad found it amusing. When Taehyung finally reached the legal drinking age, he decided to make it a family tradition, insisting on keeping the ritual of refilling the bottle.

You fondly stroke your thumb over the smudged marker on the bottle’s label, chuckling at the thought of this silly but beloved family inside joke.

You’re about to pour yourself a shot when something on the kitchen counter catches your eye—a bottle that is less than half-filled with some amber liquid. You unscrew the top and bring the bottle closer to your nose. It smells like whiskey, but a bit more fragrant than you’re used to. You decide to pour some into the cap and take a tentative sip. Convinced, you grab a glass from the cupboard and pour yourself a generous shot.

As you let the alcohol settle into your bloodstream, you glance out the kitchen window towards Hobi’s house, where the porch light is on. You blink and squint, trying to focus.

You pour yourself another hefty shot and toss it back, shuddering involuntarily from its potency.

Maybe it’s the alcohol, but it almost feels like the porch light is glowing more brightly than usual, like it’s calling you. Before you know it, your feet, seemingly moving on their own, carry you across the street.

********

Despite your stomach churning, you do your best not to ruin the nice patch of azaleas next to you. You know you shouldn’t be here, especially not in this state. Nevermind that you’d already embarrassed yourself earlier this evening when you picked a stupid fight with Hoseok at the bar. To make matters worse, you kissed him!

However, as messy as you were, that kiss made you realize how much you missed that kind of intimacy and connection with someone. Then again, it also feels wrong to think about it, because it’s completely self-serving. Truth be told, you weren’t in a position to be selfish.

You groan from the pounding in your head, likely caused by whatever mystery alcohol you just had. If you ever remember anything from this evening, you make a mental note to ask Taehyung what the hell that was.

I should head back, you tell yourself, trying to hang on to the last bit of reason you have. You grab onto the iron handrail and manage to stand up, even though your legs feel like jelly.

And yet, you make no effort to move. It’s as if a part of you knows you still have unfinished business to handle, and that’s what’s keeping you here.

Seconds later, headlights round the corner. The intense brightness temporarily blinds you, so you shield your face. The car pulls into the driveway, coming to a stop right where you stand. The engine and lights shut off, and the driver’s side door slams in the quiet night.

As you lower your hand, you’re faced with your unfinished business standing in front of you. The tension between you is palpable, with years of unspoken words and repressed feelings threatening to spill out of you.

“I’ve got some leftovers from the bar. Want some?” Hoseok offers.

The mere thought of food makes you nauseous. You shift uncomfortably, seeking some form of stability, but nothing helps. Your surroundings start to spin, and just when you think you’re about to fall over, he rushes to your side to hold you upright.

“Okay,” he says with a light chuckle. “Why don’t we go inside and have a good hurl first, hm?”

********

Sitting in this kitchen felt…strange. The space had changed so much since you last remembered it that it seemed like an entirely different house.

Namjoon had told you that after Hoseok’s mom retired and bought a smaller apartment across town, he had transformed his childhood home into a bachelor pad of sorts.

The first floor’s layout felt more open now that the divider wall between the kitchen and living room had been knocked down. The plastic-covered plaid furniture was gone, replaced by more modern fixtures that complemented the interior’s neutral palette.

You wonder if the changes to this home mirrored the changes Hoseok himself had gone through the years.

“Want some more coffee?” He leaned on the kitchen counter, watching as you stared at the table. The family’s original dining table stood out as the only contrasting piece of furniture. It was the sole item he had kept from the ‘old house.’

This table was where you and your brothers had done homework while waiting for your dad to finish work, where they had hosted your family for countless dinners. It held memories of many conversations and laughs.

You glance at your mug and chuckle at his offer. “Thanks, but I’m good. I should get going soon.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to lie down for a bit?” He’s concerned, but doesn’t want to come across pushy.

That might help, but you worry that if you stayed any longer, you’d end up passing out for the rest of the night—and that probably wouldn’t be the smartest move for you, knowing your kids would be looking for you in the morning.

You shake your head, politely declining. “Thank you, though.”

“Alright. Just trying to be a good host, that’s all,” he says with a warm smile. “Guess this means your alcohol tolerance hasn’t changed. Still a lightweight, huh?” He jokes.

You roll your eyes. “Please,” you scoff, finishing your coffee. “I had a couple shots of unlabeled whiskey without knowing how strong it was. My body was just a bit shocked, that’s all,” you say defensively.

He gets up from his seat and moves towards you. You steel yourself as he leans in... to pick up your empty mug. “I’m only teasing. Sorry about that,” he smirks before walking away.

Smiling nervously, you massage your temple as he heads toward the sink.

Despite the seemingly lighthearted tone of this exchange, there’s still an undercurrent of tension. You can’t easily forget about this evening’s confrontation—it’s mainly why you stumbled here in your inebriated state. The other reason?

“Are you and Dara a thing?” The words tumble out before you know it.

The steady stream of water from the faucet is the only sound that fills the room while he mulls over your question.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” you blurt out, regret washing over you. “I-I should leave.” You stumble to your feet, your legs unsteady, your head pounding as you make for the door. A nagging voice in you reminds you that, given your complicated history, you have no right to pry into his personal life.

“Was that why you were sitting on my front stoop, drunk, in the middle of the night?”

You freeze, your hand hovering over the door latch as his question lingers. Torn between the urge to flee and wanting answers, it gave you pause.

He calls out your name.

Slowly, you turn to face him, your cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

“Would you believe me if I said ‘no’?” you wince.

Hoseok chuckles wryly. “You know you can’t bullshit your way through this.”

There’s no turning back now. Shoulders slumping in defeat, you admit, “I saw you and Dara having a moment as my brothers and I were leaving Hangsang.” You shrug, adding, “Looks like you guys got closer over the years.”

He stands there, an unreadable look on his face as he processes your words. When you realize he was making no attempt to deny it, you come to a hasty conclusion. You couldn’t disguise the disappointment from your tone.

“So, it’s true? You and Dara are—”

“Were,” he corrects you. “Past tense.”

Hoseok had hoped he didn’t need to have this conversation with you, but since you brought it up, there was no point in avoiding it.

“She and I were intimate a few times, but it didn’t go beyond that." He clears his throat, expression softening as he moves from behind the counter towards you.

“We found comfort in each other. I was watching my dad fade away, and she lost her husband,” he trailed off. “It just…happened. But we’re not in any kind of relationship.”

“And you’re sure she understands that?” you ask, recalling how Dara had tenderly stroked Hoseok’s face.

“She does,” he replies. “I made it clear I couldn’t offer her anything more. I wasn’t in a good place emotionally, and I knew I wasn't ready to open my heart to anyone.”

His admission weighs on you, but you try not to dwell on it. After all, Hoseok is a grown man capable of making his own decisions.

“Thank you for being honest,” you say quietly, at a loss for words.

“You know I can’t lie to you. And I won’t, because I have no reason to. Besides,” he says, stopping mere inches from you, “as Dara put it, when I look at her, I see someone else.”

His gaze coupled with his proximity sets your pulse racing, and the room seems to shrink, filled with emotions you’ve tried to bury for years. His warm breath on your skin makes you want to close the gap between you.

“You’re it for me,” he says softly. “Without you, I was ready to spend the rest of my life walking around with a hole in my chest.”

His confession overwhelms you, causing a lump to form in your throat.

“Am I pathetic or what?” He chuckles wryly.

You shake your head. “Not in the least,” you say softly.

During a marriage counseling session, Sam said your love for him felt limited—contrived, even. You disagreed, insisting that having a second child proved your full commitment to him, which you genuinely believed at the time.

As time passed, you and Sam drifted apart. Returning to your hometown has only magnified the disconnect in your marriage. It's not that Sam is a bad partner; you just aren't fully present. A piece of you is missing, and that's what's keeping you from giving your all.

Now you realize what you've known all along—the person before you has always held that missing piece.

“It’s always been you, sunshine. Always.”

Your breath catches as you choke back a sob. “Hoseok,” you breathe out.

He cups your face, gently wiping away a tear you hadn’t realized had fallen. His warmth envelops you instantly. He may call you “sunshine,” but he was always your source of light. You decided then that you were done hiding in the shadows, and it was time to step back into the sun.

You lean in and kiss him, pouring all your angst and pain into it. As your lips touch, it feels like no time has passed. The connection between you is still there, as strong as ever.

He tightens his grip on you with his free hand, pulling you closer until no space remains between you. You both move towards the living room. Eager and breathless, you stumble onto the couch—a tangle of limbs and ragged breaths. The outside world fades away as you lose yourselves in each other.

********

Jin heads back upstairs to his room after having a few drinks with his brothers. He opens the door to find his wife, Yoojung, sleeping peacefully in bed.

He leans against the doorframe, watching her chest rise and fall in even breaths. He thinks about how lucky he is to have somebody like her as his partner and how amazing she’s been over the past couple of weeks.

He strips off his clothes and crawls into bed, pausing to kiss her forehead before settling in.

She stirs, her hand blindly feeling around for him in the dark. When she finds him, she slowly opens her eyes, smiling drowsily.

“Hi,” she croaks out.

“Hi,” Jin answers. “Feeling any better?” She’d been under the weather for a few days.

“Yeah,” she replies.

“Are you sure you’re not just saying that to make me feel better? I can take you to see the doctor tomorrow.”

She shakes her head slowly. “I’m fine, really,” she insists. “I think the last few days just caught up with me.”

She’d been constantly on the go, shouldering the burden of caring for the entire household while the family grieved.

He strokes her cheek, feeling guilty about how much she’s done for his family. “I’m sorry. My siblings are here for a couple more days, and once they leave, we can go back to our own home. Back to peace and quiet,” he says with a hint of humor.

“You don’t need to apologize,” she reassures him, “but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward coming back to our own place.”

He goes in for another kiss, this one more intense than the first. His lips move against hers, tender and loving, showing how much he appreciates her without saying a word.

When they come up for air, they’re both breathless.

“Wow, what was that for?” she asks, her cheeks flushed.

“Just a thank-you for being the best,” Jin answers. “I know being around my whole family is chaotic, but I’m grateful that you’ve been so patient in putting up with them.”

Yoojung’s lips curve into a gentle smile, her eyes crinkling at the corners. “I don’t put up with them. They’re my family, too. I was happy to take care of everybody.”

Jin’s chest swells with so much love for her. He caresses her cheek, saying, “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Without me, you’d be stuck eating leftovers from the restaurant every day for dinner,” she jokes.

Jin throws his head back, laughing heartily. The alcohol has loosened his inhibitions. Yoojung quickly covers his mouth, shushing him to avoid waking the entire house.

“The kids are asleep,” she whispers harshly. “You need to keep it down.”

He can’t explain why, but her scolding turns him on. The alcohol seems to also have made him incredibly horny.

“Oh yeah?” His eyebrow quirks. “Why don’t you shut me up then?” He gives her a look—that same smoldering look that makes her core tighten in response.

Her breath catches, but she hesitates, mildly aware of how close their bedroom was to his parents’ room. Besides, her fertile window wasn’t for another day or two. “We can’t—”

“Please, yeobo…”

He moves closer, lowering his head to kiss her neck. Her lips part with a soft sigh when he begins to suck on the sensitive skin there.

Yoojung’s instinct is to reach for her phone to check her fertility app, but Jin’s neediness proves too irresistible for her to wait for her body to reach the ideal basal temperature. She was hot for him now.

Jin’s hand glides past her waist. She shifts slightly, hooking her leg on his waist, giving him better access as his fingers slips between her thighs.

Trying to stay quiet intensified their senses. Jin made Yoojung come twice. The first time, she sank her teeth into his shoulder to muffle her cries. The second time, she buried her face in her pillow while he groaned into her ear, reaching his own release.

It had been a while since they’d had sex purely for pleasure. The fertility treatments and constant focus on conceiving had turned these intimate moments into more of a chore, taking away the romance and passion.

Tonight was different. They savored each other, relishing every touch and sensation. Afterward, they lay together, content and happy.

“I love you,” he murmured between kisses, “so much…”

“I love you, too,” she sighed softly before they both drifted off to sleep.

You and Hoseok lie together, bodies entwined, hands brushing over bare skin. You bask in each other's presence as time seems to stand still.

He brushes over the curve of your eyebrow with the tip of his finger, his touch sending a flutter through your chest.

"Do you ever wonder how things might have been between us?“

“Yes,“ you respond without hesitation. "It's embarrassing how often I've thought about it." A pang of guilt hits you. This admission feels unfair to Sam and your marriage, but you're only human. During arguments with him, you find yourself seeking comfort either in your children--or in thoughts of Hoseok.

”I'm not judging,” he reassures you.

Your eyes locked for a moment, and you lace your fingers with his, studying every groove and contour. Curiosity sparkled in his gaze as he asked, “What are you thinking about now?”

“That my hand fits perfectly with yours.” Something about him brings out all the cheesiness in you.

Intrigued, he leaned closer, tilting his head slightly. “Does it?”

Smiling, you brought his hand to your lips, brushing a tender kiss against his skin. The warmth from the sensation fills his chest, and without hesitation, he leans in for another kiss.

Even though you wish to stay like this all day, on his couch and wrapped up in his arms, daylight was peeking through his living window, much like the reality of the situation.

“I need to get back before Jooni wakes up looking for me,” you say with much reluctance.

At the mention of your daughter, Hoseok nods understandingly. He gives you space to disentangle yourself from him, his eyes following your bare form as you cross the room to retrieve the clothes he’d stripped off you earlier.

As you pull your top over your torso, you catch him watching your every move while you dress.

You pause, your face scrunching in amusement. “Can I help you with something?”

“Don’t mind me. I’m just enjoying the view.”

You gesture at your body. “Oh, you mean this old thing?”

“I don’t care. I love it. You’re beautiful.” He says it with so much reverence that it makes your heart flutters. You crouch down, gently stroking his cheek before kissing him.

You squeal in surprise as he grabs your waist and pulls you back onto the couch, onto his lap. You gaze down at him, taking in the sight of his tousled hair and sleepy eyes. He lies beautifully beneath you, not quite fully awake.

“Now this looks familiar…” he says playfully, his hands squeezing your thighs on either side of him. “It’s like déjà vu or something.”

You giggle at his teasing, resisting the urge to rock your hips against him. Earlier, your self-control had been far less restrained—non-existent, even. Memories flood your mind like a vivid highlight reel: echoes of pleasure-filled moans, fingertips tracing paths across sensitive skin, igniting sparks of arousal. It’s been ages since you’ve allowed yourself to be so completely swept up in the moment.

As difficult as it was to pull away from him, you find the strength. “Okay, I really, really need to go,” you murmur, suppressing a grin. You hop off him to finish dressing, then head to the bathroom to freshen up.

When you emerge, you find him sitting up. He’s pulled his bottoms on but his chest is still bare.

He raises his head, and you see a grave look on his face, worrying you.

“Hey… are you okay?” you ask, approaching him.

His gaze lingers on you—tracing your eyes, then your lips, then the curve of your cheek—as if he’s committing every feature to memory.

”What's wrong?” you ask again, growing more concerned.

“I’m scared that if you walk out that door, I won’t see you again,” he whispers. “But I know I can’t be selfish.”

Your impending divorce will undoubtedly complicate things, and you’re wary of clinging to false hope—for his sake and yours.

The reasonable thing to do is to return home, pretend last night never happened, and continue existing in your familiar reality.

After that final conversation with your dad, you decide you no longer want to merely exist—you want to truly live.

“We can afford to be selfish once in a while.” You brush your thumb across his lips, finally accepting the truth you’ve tried to escape for so long. “You’re it for me, too.”

You draw his mouth to yours and kiss him again. It feels right.

You run across the street, heart pounding furiously in your chest as you return from spending the night at Hoseok’s house. You peer through the kitchen window, checking if anyone’s awake—it seems early enough. Convinced the coast is clear, you slip in through the backyard’s side entrance to access the door that leads into the kitchen.

Unbeknownst to you, Jin enters the kitchen, coffee in hand, and settles at the counter to scroll through his emails. He’s in a fantastic mood—brought on by last night’s escapade and a hot wake-up call from Yoojung this morning.

His head whips around at the sound of the creaking door hinge. Amused, he watches you comically shut the door, trying your best to be stealthy. As you turn around, your heart leaps into your throat when you finally spot him.

“Ah! What the fu—” You clutch your chest.

“Well, good morning to you," Jin greets you, a knowing smile playing on his lips.

”Oppa...” you say carefully. You have no clue how much he's seen or how long he's been sitting there.

He can’t help but chuckle and take this opportunity to tease you. “I feel like I’ve just been transported back 15 years ago.”

You feel like a teenager again, caught sneaking around with Hoseok in the early days of your relationship.

Before you can come up with an excuse, the sound of feet shuffling announces the arrival of your children. Joobin and Jooni come down the stairs with your mom in tow.

“Mommy!” Jooni exclaims, running into your arms.

“Hi sweetie pie, good morning!” you reply, enveloping her in a warm hug.

Joobin, ever observant, asks, “Where were you? We woke up and you weren’t in the room.”

Thinking quickly, you make up a story.

“Well, uhm, I thought I heard a noise coming from the backyard, so I went downstairs to check on it.”

The kids, still curious, pepper you with more questions, but Jin comes to your rescue, deftly distracting them.

“Who wants pancakes?” he interjects.

The kids erupt in cheers, eagerly volunteering to assist their uncle in the kitchen.

You shoot Jin a grateful look, silently thanking him for the intervention. While the kids help him grab utensils and ingredients from the cupboards, your mom sidles up to you.

“Do I want to know where you’ve actually been?”

You make a beeline for the coffee machine. “It’s better you don’t,” you reply, in desperate need of caffeine.

As the pancake batter is mixed, Jin can’t resist one last playful jab. “Namjoon was right. You do get a great view of Hobi’s house from here,” he teases, leaving you to wonder how much he knows about your late-night activities across the street.

The kitchen is buzzing with morning energy when Taehyung trudges in. His hair looks like a bird's nest, and his eyes are barely open slits.

Jin couldn’t resist a little teasing. “Kids, say good morning to Uncle Tae!” he chirped.

Oblivious to their youngest uncle’s state, they shouted enthusiastically, “Good morning, samchyonie!”

Taehyung winced, his hands flying to his ears. “Heyyy kiddos…not so loud,” he croaks, his words slurring together. As he passes them to rummage through the cupboards, he plants a gentle kiss on top of each child’s head.

Jin’s trademark squeaky laugh filled the air. “Let’s keep it down, guys. Uncle Tae is hungover,” he explained, clearly enjoying the situation.

“Mommy, what’s ‘hungover’?” Jooni asks innocently.

You glared at Jin, which only made him laugh harder.

Joobin piped up, “Does that mean he’s drunk?”

Taehyung, summoning what little energy he had, corrected them. “It means I was drunk yesterday,” he says, dragging himself further into the kitchen until he finds the tea bags.

Jin couldn’t resist one more jab. “Actually, it seems like you’re still drunk right now,” he muttered under his breath.

“I heard that,” Taehyung grumbled, before turning his attention to you. “Is there any hot water ready for tea? And maybe some Tylenol or Advil?”

“Honey, did you check in my bathroom? I have plenty there,” your mom offers.

Taehyung shakes his head. “I don’t think I’m ready to go back in there yet.” The morning’s lighthearted mood shifts. Your mom’s face falls slightly, realizing he still can’t bear entering that room without thinking of your dad.

“I have some in my bag,” you offer. “Just check in my room.” Taehyung mouths his thanks and walks over to retrieve the pills from your purse.

********

Namjoon is startled awake by his phone buzzing. Groaning, he reaches for it along with his glasses. When he puts them on and sees the caller ID flashing on his lock screen, he picks up the call immediately.

“Vee?” He croaks.

“It's happening again!” her panicked voice rings out. “I'm bleeding...I’m going to lose the baby! What do I do?” she says over and over, sobbing uncontrollably.

Namjoon breaks into a cold sweat, instantly forgetting the pounding headache he woke up with. He sits up and keeps his voice even to calm her.

“Hey, listen to me. Let’s focus on your breathing, okay?” he says soothingly. “I’ll call an ambulance to the hotel, and I’ll meet you at the hospital.”

He knows it would be faster for her to go directly to the hospital rather than wait for him to pick her up.

“Do you understand?”

“I… Uh… yes...okay,” she agrees shakily, scrambling to gather her things.

“Hang in there, baby. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

She agrees with a whimper before the call ends.

As your children enjoy their breakfast, Jin and Taehyung’s playful banter continues. You can’t help but laugh at your brothers while sneaking a few bites from Joobin’s plate.

“I don’t think I can look at another bottle of whiskey again—especially those Jin-hyung concocted in his basement,” Taehyung groans as he massages his temples.

Your eyes widen at this revelation. Looks like you may have found the answer to the mystery alcohol you drank yesterday after all!

“It was not made in my basement,” Jin contests. “I partnered with a local brewer, so the casks are stored in their facility. It's artisan-level–”

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “Oh, excuse me–it’s a stranger’s basement whiskey then? Right, that sounds way more comforting.”

Jin puffs up indignantly. “It’s a craft spirit! There’s a difference. The process is—” he pauses, then puffs out a frustrated breath. “You know what? There’s no point in arguing with you. You’re impossible when you’re hungover.”

Taehyung grins triumphantly, taking another sip of his Bloody Mary that your mom made for him.

“Uncle TaeTae, can I try your smoothie?” Jooni wonders curiously.

Your mom shakes her head. “You don’t want that, darling. Only grown-ups who made bad decisions the night before can drink this special smoothie.”

“I’m happy to declare that I actually made some good decisions last night,” Taehyung says proudly.

Just then, you are startled by Namjoon’s heavy footsteps coming from the basement stairs.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck...” he mutters repeatedly, nearly stumbling on his way to the front door.

Jin pops his head out into the hallway. “Whoa—where’s the fire?”

“It’s, uh... it’s Vee. She—I mean, the baby—the baby’s in trouble.” He’s frantically wrestling with his keys on the wall hanger until the entire thing crashes to the floor.

Taehyung rushes to help as Namjoon lets out a pained growl and buries his head in his hands in frustration.

“I don’t need to know all the details,” Taehyung says calmly. “Just tell me what I can do to help.”

“I need to go to the hospital. Now.” Namjoon answers as evenly as he can manage.

“Okay. I’ll drive—”

“You’re not going anywhere, Kim Taehyung! You just had a drink!” you scold him.

“Ah, shit,” Taehyung mutters, squeezing his eyes shut when he realizes this.

“It’s okay. I’m... I’m fine to drive. I’m fine,” Namjoon stutters.

Before Jin can volunteer, your mom appears at the foot of the stairs, wearing a coat over her pajamas. When did she even go upstairs? you all wonder.

“I’ll drive,” she announces, slipping on her sneakers by the front door.

“M-ma, I said I was okay. I can—” Namjoon’s protests are cut short as she snatches the car keys from Taehyung’s hand.

“No time to argue. Let’s go.” With determined strides, your mom marches out the front door, car keys jingling, and heads straight for her car in the driveway.

Namjoon is frozen in shock, his eyes darting between you and your brothers.

“Hello?!” Your loud voice not only jolts him back to reality but makes Taehyung and Jin flinch as well. “What are you waiting for? Go!” You practically shove his broad frame out the door.

With a grateful glance towards you and your brothers, he turns and hurries after your mom, anxious to face whatever awaits him at the hospital.

Once Namjoon arrives at the hospital, he runs toward the reception desk while his mom searches for parking.

“I’m here for Victoria Lee.”

Before the nurse searches her system, she asks, “And what is your relation to the patient?”

“I’m her, uh—” Namjoon hesitates, his breath catching. He quickly recovers, stating more firmly, “I’m her husband.” With their divorce papers still in process, this is technically and legally accurate.

The nurse eyes him suspiciously and asks for his name and identification, which Namjoon provides. Once she enters his information, she verifies that Namjoon is listed as Victoria’s emergency contact.

She hands his identification back to him. “Thank you, Mr. Kim. Just take the elevators up to the 3rd floor and she’ll be in room 9.”

Just as he utters his thanks, his mom walks through the sliding doors and they head up together to where Victoria was.

********

When Namjoon walks through the door, he sees Victoria on a slightly reclined bed. Her hospital gown is bunched up under her chest, exposing a subtle swell on her belly just below her navel.

She sees him, a mixture of shock and relief washing over her face.

“Joon!”

“Hey.” He rushes to her side and unwittingly gives her a quick peck on the lips. It catches them both by surprise. Namjoon apologizes under his breath but is interrupted by the doctor, who has just entered the room.

“Hi, are you the dad?” The doctor asks.

Namjoon nods.

“Great! I’m Dr. Yoon,” the doctor introduces himself. “You’re just in time for the ultrasound.”

“Ultrasound?” Namjoon asks, his voice laced with apprehension. The last time he looked at an ultrasound screen, it brought bad news.

“Yep,” the doctor responds. “This is going to be a little cold,” he warns Victoria before squeezing a bluish-green gel on her stomach. He turns back to grab the transducer probe off the hook, then begins to slide it over her belly. His free hand programs some settings onto the control panel until the screen comes to life.

Namjoon and Victoria hold their breaths in anticipation.

The doctor moves the probe to a different position to get another visual. It looks static from their viewpoint.

“Now, if I can just find the heartbeat, here,” the doctor mumbles.

“What if there’s no heartbeat?” she whispers shakily, eyes pooling with tears.

“Sshh,” he says, squeezing her hand gently. “Let’s not jump to conclusions yet. Give it some time.”

She begins to whimper. “I can’t believe this is happening again. What’s wrong with me?”

At that moment, Namjoon decided to reach for a white lie. “It’s all going to be fine, okay? Trust me.”

He didn’t know that for certain, of course, but the reassuring look he gave her was convincing enough to calm her down. In a way, it calmed him down too.

“Okay, let’s keep our voices down,” the doctor interrupts. “I’m having a hard time picking up anything on the monitor.”

Following the doctor’s instructions, he turns a knob on the control panel. Seconds later, a whooshing sound fills the room through the speakers. The baby’s heartbeat is strong and steady.

Namjoon and Victoria gasp in surprise and relief.

“Ah, there we go!” the doctor exclaims, pointing to the static blob wiggling on the screen.

“That’s—woah...” Namjoon stares in awe at the little bean flickering on the monitor.

“Oh my god,” Victoria whispers. She tearfully glances up at him with a small smile. It dawns on her that this is Namjoon’s first time seeing the baby’s scan.

“Wow,” he says again, completely at a loss for words.

“Music to my ears, and yours too, I’m sure,” the doctor smiles, his eyes crinkling at the corners. The rhythmic whooshing sound continues to fill the room and Namjoon can’t help but return the smile, feeling an unexpected rush of emotion.

The doctor carefully repositions the probe, gliding it across Victoria’s gel-covered belly with ease. His eyes remain fixed on the monitor as he meticulously checks the baby’s vital organs and physical features, occasionally pausing to take measurements or adjust the angle for a clearer view.

After a few more minutes of observation, Dr. Yoon leans back with a satisfied nod. “Spotting aside, your baby appears to be doing just fine.” Hearing this, both Namjoon and Victoria visibly relax.

The doctor presses a few more buttons and prints out several images. “Here we go,” he says, detaching the sonogram printout and handing it to them.

They take the images from the doctor and gaze fondly at the picture of their baby.

“I’ve reviewed your bloodwork,” Dr. Yoon adds, “and noticed your progesterone levels are a bit low. I can prescribe something to help with that and so we can keep you and your baby safe. Sound good?”

As the doctor continues discussing the treatment plan, the door bursts open.

“Sorry, sorry! I got here as fast as I could. The GPS—”

Jaxon’s entrance instantly shatters the joy and euphoria Namjoon had been feeling. “Ah, fuck….”

Namjoon turns to her, his anger brimming. “You called him?”

Before discovering she was bleeding, Jaxon had already planned to meet Victoria at the hotel. In the midst of the emergency, she’d texted him about going to the hospital.

“Shit—Jax,” she utters in horror then turns back to Namjoon, trying to cobble up an explanation. “I—this isn’t—”

Namjoon rises from her bedside, anger bubbling in his chest. “No, no, no,” he says, shaking his head. “I can’t do this. I don’t even know why I came here...”

“I’m sorry, what’s going on here? Who are you?” Dr. Yoon asks, pointing to Namjoon.

“I am her husband!”

“And that makes you...?” Dr. Yoon turns to Jaxon.

“The guy my wife cheated on me with,” Namjoon said through gritted teeth.

Mortified, Victoria tries to plead with him. “Joon, please. Let’s not ruin this moment—”

Namjoon is incredulous. “I’m ruining the moment?” All the warm, sentimental feelings Namjoon had after seeing the sonogram vanish, were replaced by the contempt he felt when Victoria arrived unannounced to tell him about the pregnancy.

Jaxon, oblivious to the gravity of the situation, chooses this moment to interject. “Look, man, I had no clue–”

“Un-fucking-beliveable!” Namjoon growled.

Seeing the panic and distress on his patient’s face as she tries to calm both men, Dr. Yoon intervenes. “Alright! Both of you—out—now!” he says sternly. “I can’t have my patient under this kind of stress.”

Namjoon looks at Victoria. She drops her eyes to her hands, not arguing. It takes all of his energy to rein in his anger.

This isn’t the time or place, he says to himself. Squaring his jaw, he sidesteps Jaxon on his way out the door.

********

Lina rises from her chair when Namjoon arrives in the waiting area, his face contorted with rage.

“Honey, how is she? How’s the baby?” she asks, her voice tinged with worry.

“She’s fine,” Namjoon replies curtly. “Let’s go.”

“Wha—is she stable?” His mom, confused by his behavior, tries to piece things together. “What happened?”

“Ma, please!” He snaps.

Sensing his distress, she doesn’t push further and follows him toward the exit. As they stand before the bank of elevators, a voice calls out to Namjoon.

“Namjoon! Namjoon, wait up!”

He ignores it, but his mom glances past his shoulder, recognizing the man calling out.

“I hate these fucking elevators,” Namjoon mutters as he repeatedly jams his finger on the button until the doors finally open.

“Joon, Joon—wait!”

They both hurry inside, but a hand wedges between the closing doors, forcing them apart.

Namjoon curses under his breath as Jaxon steps in, attempting conversation. “Bro, I swear, I didn’t expect you to be here. Vee and I were supposed to meet up and—”

Namjoon’s mom looks on as he seethes within the cramped space. Though he could easily silence Jaxon with his fist, he restrains himself.

When the doors open to the lobby, Namjoon pushes past Jaxon, who is right on his tail, yapping away, badgering him for a response.

“C’mon, man—I’m trying to extend an olive branch here and you’re just shitting on it. I thought we were friends, bro?”

Namjoon turns around with a menacing glare. Jaxon’s words strike a nerve in him. They had indeed been friends and artistic partners once. But Namjoon knew Jaxon’s true nature all too well. The worst part of Victoria’s infidelity was that despite his warnings about Jaxon’s toxic behavior, she still chose to betray him. It was like getting stabbed in the back with a rusty knife and twisting it repeatedly for good measure.

“Jaxon, why don’t you take the hint and stop following him,” his mom interrupts, stepping between the two men. “He clearly doesn’t want to talk to you.”

Hospital security begins to approach, drawn by the commotion.

“And who the fuck are you, lady? Barking orders here like you’re the boss of me?” Jaxon yells. In his narcissistic haze, he’s forgotten Namjoon’s mom’s face, despite having met her a few times before.

Fully aware that this is the same asswipe who contributed to her son’s marital breakdown, she cocks her head and replies coolly, “I am his mother, and you are not allowed to speak to me that way!”

“Or what?”

One thing about Lina Young: if challenged, she would most definitely would rise to it.

Without hesitation, she balls her hand into a fist and throws a punch—the large gemstone on her ring landing squarely on Jaxon’s surgically enhanced nose. He lets out a pathetic whimper, clutching his face.

Namjoon’s jaw drops, his hand flying up to cover his mouth. He barely suppresses a guffaw as he watches his mom shake out her hand while security rushes to break up the commotion.

She raises her hands as they attempt to escort her. “I can walk myself out, thank you,” she says, straightening her coat. Reverting to her usual classy demeanor, she exits the building as if she hadn’t just made a man—a whole foot taller and 30 years her junior—cry.

Namjoon bends down to pick up her watch and bracelet, which she’d dropped in the scuffle.

“You’re just going to let your mom hit me?” Jaxon shouts as nurses tend to him.

“You bet I am! She’s a good shot, too,” Namjoon retorts, laughter echoing through the doors as he follows his mom to the parking lot.

Your mom smiles warmly from her seat at the dining table, watching Jooni hand an ice pack to you.

“Thank you, my darling girl,” she says to her granddaughter, wincing as you press it against her bruised hand.

When she and Namjoon arrived home, he led her straight to the kitchen to nurse her hand. Naturally, your children asked what was wrong with halmeoni. Namjoon quickly came up a wild story about her punching a vending machine when her chocolate bar got stuck.

“Halmeoni, please be careful next time. Daddy says you’re not supposed to hit the machine if your candy gets stuck. You have to call a worker to help you,” Joobin says, showing concern for her swollen hand.

“Thank you, Joobinie. I will remember that next time,” your mom replies sweetly.

You tell them to move to the backyard and continue playing, but not before Jooni gives her hand a light kiss before running off.

Once the kids are out of earshot, you decide to get the facts. “Care to tell me what really happened?”

Namjoon relays the events from the hospital, which ended with your mom sucker-punching Jaxon.

You gasp in horror and disbelief. “Oh my god, ma?!”

“What?” she says innocently, not seeing the problem. “It's not like he didn't deserve it! Besides, I never liked that piece of shit coming to my house anyway. I knew he was trouble, so he had it coming!”

You and Namjoon stare at her wide-eyed.

She rolls her eyes at both of you. “Oh, come on! You kids didn’t get your potty mouths from your father, that’s for damn sure.”

Before you can argue, you hear Jooni yelling for you from outside. You excuse yourself to check on what the kids might be arguing about this time. On your way out, you poke Namjoon in the ribs and mouth, “Promise you’ll tell me later?”

Namjoon gives you a nod, before you run out to check on your kids.

They enjoy a few moments of silence until Namjoon, who was standing before, moves to take a seat.

“Here, let me.” He takes the ice pack from her and presses it to her hand. She smiles fondly, watching him dote on her, as it was a rare sight.

“You didn’t have to do that, you know,” he mumbles, peering up at her.

“You know, I used to do my own stunts back in the day,” she quips, eliciting a laugh from him. She loved seeing the dimple in his cheek deepen. It mirrored her own on the opposite side.

As they settle into a comfortable silence, the gears in Namjoon’s mind continue to spin. She removes her hand from beneath the ice pack to take off her ring, hoping to ease more of the soreness and swelling. His gaze shifts to the jewelry she sets down on the table—a solitaire emerald symbolizing his parents’ 35-year anniversary.

He recalls the day his father proudly showed him the ring before giving it to her. It was the same year she stepped back from her acting career, coinciding with his diagnosis, only known between them.

Though it seemed like an extravagant piece, his father insisted on gifting it to her. “It’s perfect,” he’d said. The ring not only represented their deep love for each other, but also symbolized growth and new beginnings—a celebration of their marriage as it truly deserved.

It made Namjoon reflect on his own marriage. “Mom?” He pauses, wondering if this is an inopportune time to talk about his thoughts.

“What is it, hun?”

He takes a deep breath, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “When you were away for work, did…” He trails off, the words catching in his throat.

She waits patiently, her eyes filled with concern. “…Yes?”

Finally, he musters the courage to continue. “Did you ever think about cheating on dad?”

Her eyes widen, clearly taken aback. “Oh…”

Immediately regretting his question, he backpedals. “Fuck, I’m sorry. That was completely out of line,” he shakes his head, mentally kicking himself. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

Despite her initial shock, his mom’s expression softens as she realizes that his recent experiences with Victoria have left him questioning things.

“No, no. That’s...” She clears her throat, composing herself. “It’s a fair question. I understand why you’d ask.”

“No, it was a dumb question. I’m sorry,” Namjoon stutters, his eyes dropping to the floor in embarrassment and regret.

She regards him silently, taking in his pained expression. She thought about her answer carefully, hoping that whatever he says would help him work out his feelings.

“Well,” she begins after a few beats, “when you’re away for long stretches, fatigue and loneliness can set in. One might think that’s a recipe for disaster. But your dad and I were always open about our feelings. I think our constant communication gave us both reassurance and eased much of the loneliness we felt. So, to answer your question—no, cheating never crossed my mind.”

Namjoon found himself questioning every aspect of his relationship. For months, he replayed conversations and actions from the past year, scrutinizing them for any misstep that might have driven his wife to cheat.

“I don’t know Victoria’s reasons, and I don’t care to. You’ve made your decision, and I’m not going to complicate things further.”

He sighs wearily. As you reminded him not so long ago, he didn’t do “complicated.” He avoided the road less traveled and always stayed on course.

“Sometimes I think about the past year, replaying things in my head,“ Namjoon says, his voice thick with emotion. “I thought I was being a good husband—I provided for her, fully supported her career, and never made her feel suffocated. I showed and told her every day how much I loved her.“

He looked up at his mom, who listened to him intently as he poured his heart out.

“I can’t seem to figure out at what point she decided I wasn't enough.“

Her heart breaks watching Namjoon’s broad shoulders slump, his tall frame reduced by the weight of his frustration. She reaches up with her uninjured hand to run her fingers through her second-oldest son’s hair. It’s the first chance she’s had to console him since he revealed his divorce to the rest of the family.

“Namjoon,” she begins softly, “when you love someone long-term, it means witnessing and mourning their many versions. People change, outgrowing their old selves or dreams they once had. It’s normal to miss those old versions and wish they would stick around—because those versions made us happy. We don’t get to choose when or how they change, but we can choose to walk with them and learn to embrace whatever version they decide to be.”

Namjoon gazes at her intently. These were the kind of talks he typically had with his father.

“That sounds like something dad would say,” he says with a gentle smile.

“Oh honey, that was all me,” she says with a playful touch of pride. Turning serious once more, she adds, “Somebody who loves you unconditionally will choose to stick around for all those versions of you.”

Namjoon’s mood turns sullen, suddenly regretting all the years he felt he needed to be angry at his mother.

“I’m sorry for being unfair to you for a long time, eomma. I…” his voice wavers as he’s caught between remorse and resentment toward the women in his life.

His mother wished, at that moment, that she wasn’t dwarfed by his 6-foot-tall frame and she could pick him up and hold him like she used to when he would fall over and bruise himself.

It’s been a long time since Namjoon allowed himself to be this vulnerable in front of her. Since his teen years, he’s been closed off and aloof. But all this time, she’s waited patiently for him to let his guard down.

She cradles his cheek in her hand. “Shh…” she says soothingly. “I want you to know that I have been and will always be here for every version of you.”

He gazed at her with sad eyes. These were times when he typically relied on his father, who was always there to help Namjoon get back on track. For years, his mom had longed for the opportunity to offer that same support.

Without a second thought, she stood and wrapped him in a warm embrace. It marked a turning point in healing their own relationship.

Finding comfort in her arms, he finally lets go of all his pent-up frustration and grief.

After putting the kids to bed, things begin to settle down. Your hangover is finally beginning to dissipate.

You walk downstairs to get a drink of water when you notice the door leading to the backyard is ajar. You go to close it but pause when you see someone sitting on the deck.

You step out and join Taehyung, who looks up from his wine glass, mid-sip.

“Back for more, huh?” You nod at his drink.

He chuckles as you take a seat next to him.

“You know, I didn’t bring an unlimited supply of Advil in my purse,” you joke.

“I know, noona. This is just a little something to help me fall asleep.”

You hum skeptically. “As long as you don’t overdo it. Otherwise, you’ll have to go into mom’s medicine cabinet to get more meds for your hangover.”

He nods, giving a half-hearted smile at your remark, then continues to stare off into the distance.

You study your him for a moment. Despite him joking around today, you know him well enough to recognize when he’s masking his true feelings. It’s clear to you, based on his comment this morning about avoiding your parents’ room, that he’s grappling with something deeper than he’s letting on.

“Do you want to talk?” you ask, your voice soft and encouraging.

His shoulders tense and his gaze drifts downward as your question hangs in the air.

“I don’t know if that would help,” he says quietly.

You were all reeling from your father’s death and dealing with it in different ways, but Taehyung seemed to be taking it the hardest.

“I don’t know either, but there’s no harm in trying, right?”

He doesn’t respond, so you don’t push him. “Or I could just sit here with you until you feel sleepy.”

He chews his bottom lip, wrestling with his thoughts. Finally, he puffs out his cheeks, letting out a long sigh. “I can’t even go into his room,” he says. “I—” His voice cracks, making him curse under his breath.

His pain tears you to pieces. You rub soothing circles on his back, feeling his body tremble with each heart-wrenching sob.

“I wish I could have saved him,” he croaks, tears streaming down his cheeks. “I feel like shit for not doing anything.”

By the time you discovered your dad’s illness, it was already terminal. There was nothing any of you could have done apart from making him feel comfortable and loved during the last few moments of his life.

“We all wished we could have done something, but it was out of our hands,” you say, your eyes brimming with tears at his raw emotion.

“I just…” he choked out, “can’t believe I’m never going to see him again. And I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay with that.”

Coming to terms with your father’s absence would be an uphill battle. Yet, knowing him, he’d be heartbroken to know that he was the reason for your sadness.

Swallowing hard, you gathered your strength to ease your brother’s pain.

“It’s okay not to be okay,” you begin to say, “But you know, we had 30-something years with him. If we were sad all the time, it would be as if those years he gave us meant nothing. The best way to honor his memory is to try our hardest to live well and be happy. And I believe that’s what he would have wanted.”

Taehyung’s tear-filled eyes meet yours. “But that seems so impossible,” he laments softly.

The idea of moving forward and carrying on with life seems unimaginable—and admittedly, it feels that way for you, too.

From this point on, whenever you make one of your dad’s dishes or Taehyung plays one of his records, that wound will reopen, just when you think it has healed.

The pain of loss never truly goes away. There will be dark days and there will be bright days. You learn to coexist with it. Just when you think you’ve made progress, you might find yourself back at square one.

Grieving is an ongoing process and there’s no right or wrong way to do it. What makes it bearable is having people to lean on.

“And that’s when you pick up the phone and call me,” you reply ruefully, “as long as you’ll let me call you when I’m struggling.”

He nods, a hint of a smile crossing his face, as he agrees to be there for each other through the ups and downs. “Of course,” he adds softly, reaching out to give your hand a gentle squeeze.

You wrap your arm around him and pull him close. He instinctively rests his head on your shoulder. Together, you sit and stare at the starry night sky, hoping your father is looking down on you both with pride.

Tagging: @internetjunkdrawer @roaminginthenights @majamarantha @ayoo-bangtan @noelleydances @carriereadsbooks

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16 notes · View notes

shina913 · 2 years ago

Text

Aww, thank you so much for the kind words 🥺 I don’t receive many notes or feedback on this series due to the heavily dramatic themes but every time I do, I cherish them so much!!! This series is not an easy read (nor is it easy to write either)! Every time I write for Scions, I leave a little piece of me out there. I’m glad to hear that the story resonates with you 💜

Scions, Ch.6 | Kim Line + JHS

Scions, 6

sci·on | \ ˈsī-ən \ Definition:(1)a descendant(2) a shoot or twig, especially one cut for grafting or planting

✼Scions Masterlist✼

Pairing: Fem!Reader Sister + Kim Brothers; JHS x Fem!Reader

Rating: M (🔞)

Genre: Siblings!AU; Marriage!AU; FWB!AU; exes to ?; Mom!Reader; Brother’s Best Friend; drama; angst; smut; fluff

Warnings: ANGST!!!; DRAMA!!!; multiple POV switches; lots of sentimentality; character has terminal illness; discussion of said terminal illness; sibling bickering; lots of crying--like, A LOT; parenting frustrations; parenting fears; mentions of infidelity; vulnerable confessions; cussing; pining; marriage troubles; mentions of divorce; minor panic attack; emotional outbursts; mentions of miscarriage; allusions to long-distance relationships; character death (not explicitly described); ANGST (yep, as if the first mention of it wasn’t enough of a warning)

Word count: 11.934 words

A/N: So...first things first! I'm very sorry to say that Hobi is MIA on this chapter...BUT to make up for that, I have a one-off in the works for him. I figured that it wouldn't make sense to add a super long flashback (spoiler!) within a regular update so I thought it would read better as a separate chapter so you can get glimpse of his background story and his and OC's history. Hoping to get that out in the next week or so!

Also, I really went through with it while writing this chapter. I know I say that a lot because I'm very dramatic but...for real...I sobbed...multiple times. Shit, I'm doing it as I write this damn note! Thank you to my darlings, @internetjunkdrawer and @deepseavibez for crying with me. I really didn't mean it to be this emotional cluster but...well...I like to hurt myself.

Anyway, I'm a mess so...here it is and please, please let me know what you think! Thank you for reading!

Minor note:

D&C. Dilation and curettage (D&C) is a procedure to remove tissue from inside your uterus. Health care providers perform dilation and curettage to diagnose and treat certain uterine conditions — such as heavy bleeding — or to clear the uterine lining after a miscarriage or abortion. (Mayo Clinic)

The next morning, you knocked quietly at your bedroom door where Sam had already been up taking calls and asked quietly if he wanted some coffee. He nods and mouths his ‘thanks’ before you shut the door, hearing him arguing with some disembodied voice coming off his laptop’s speakers.

You headed downstairs and took the tray of cinnamon rolls out of the fridge. You and the kids found baking them to be a relaxing activity. Joobin always marveled at how puffy a small ball of dough could get after you took it out of the proofing drawer.

When you made homemade pizza, or dinner rolls, he always wanted to see how much fatter the ball got. His favorite part was punching the air out before you rolled the dough back onto the counter to work it again.

For the cinnamon rolls, Jooni particularly enjoyed sprinkling the cinnamon sugar in the center and helping you roll it up. The whole time, Yoojung watched and giggled at how cute and surprisingly well-behaved the kids were while you baked.

After you fill the coffee machine with water and coffee grounds, you take the biggest mug you could find out of your parents’ cupboard for Sam, set it under the dispenser and wait for it to brew.

A minute into it, the doorbell rings, which you found odd. Everyone was home and you weren’t expecting anybody else to drop by. Who would be here at this hour?

The hospice nurse wasn’t due until later this evening...unless plans changed and your mom forgot to mention it. You walked over to the door to find out who this early caller was. When you open it, your mouth falls open.

******

“Joon? Joon?” He was laying on his stomach while you tapped him lightly on his shoulder to wake him.

He groans and grumbles at the sound of you interrupting his sleep, turns his head the other way and buries it deeper into the pillow.

You call his name a few more times, shaking him gently. He lets out another grunt, haphazardly swatting you away.

You roll your eyes. And with a huff, you grab the other pillow that he wasn’t laying on and smack him square on his back.

He jumps up, his eyes looking like he was ready to fight you.

“Yah! What the fuck?! Can’t you see that I am trying to sleep here?”

His glasses were off so you knew he was just guessing the approximate spot where you were standing. He may be much bigger than you but you’d still be at an advantage.

You leaned closer to his face and plastered a sickly sweet, sarcastic smile at him. “Good morning, Mr. Kim Namjoon. You have a wakeup call waiting for you in the living room,” you say in a fake-concierge voice.

He narrows his eyes then glowers at you. “What are you talking about?” He turns to his nightstand to feel around for his glasses. It was dark in the basement and he couldn’t see a thing–but he heard a clack–which was the sound his glasses made when they hit the floor.

You grimaced at his state of undress. “Why don’t you go and put on some pants–and for God’s sake–a shirt–so you can see for yourself?”

You turn on your heel and make your way back up the steps.

He growls, rolls his eyes, wanting to collapse back into bed but you call past your shoulder. “And don’t you dare go back to sleep! You are not leaving me alone to entertain her.”

His eyebrows furrowed in utter confusion. “Her?” After a few seconds, recognition dawns and the color drains from his face.

******

Namjoon drags his ass from the basement in a little over 10 minutes. But before that, he was trying to psych himself up.

Why was she here? Or more importantly, how did she know that he was here?

He left so abruptly–practically in a rage, on their last meeting and has rejected each and every attempt she’s made to reach him since. She wasn’t leaving any detailed voice messages or texts. It was always, ‘We need to talk,’ or ‘Please call me back, I have to talk to you.’

He ignored and deleted them all.

When he reaches the top of the steps, walks down the hallway and takes that left towards the living room, the first thing he sees is the back of her head, her hair pulled up in a ponytail. You pause your conversation, looking up past her shoulder, where you were seated on the couch opposite hers.

How he wished he could ignore and delete this moment.

“Oh, look who’s finally joining us,” you remarked, getting up from the couch, deciding that this was the perfect time to make an exit. “I’ll leave you both to talk. S’good to see you, Vee,” you added politely.

“Thanks, YN,” she says softly, still looking straight ahead.

“Did you want some coffee or tea?” You offered before going into the kitchen.

“N-no. My…stomach has been…uhm–kind of off lately,” she murmurs. “But thank you, though!”

You nodded, squeezed Namjoon’s arm when you walked past him before heading back upstairs to check on the kids.

******

Victoria didn’t look back when Namjoon rounded the corner and walked towards the sofa that YN previously occupied.

He had his glasses on now, his eyes still too dry and irritated to put contact lenses in them. He sank into the seat and her face was crystal clear in front of him.

It’s only been a few days but she looked a bit run-down. The bags under her eyes were evident and her cheeks a bit more hollow. Nevertheless, she still looked beautiful. It was a special kind of torture for him.

“Hi, Namjoon,” she said with a small smile.

“What are you doing here?” He deadpanned.

She released a breath, fully expecting this amount of hostility, given the way they left things the last time they spoke.

“I–tried calling–”

“And you couldn’t take the hint that I did not want to speak to you?”

This was going to be tougher than she thought. “I came because I found out about your dad. Since I couldn’t reach you or your sister–I went to your work the other day and ran into one of the producers. He said that you had to take a leave of absence because of…family matters.”

“You didn’t need to make the trip out here. I know you don’t like–”

“Yes, but I also wanted to say goodbye to your dad–properly…” She swallowed hard. “Your parents were kind to me and…I just wanted to show my appreciation. I’m not here to cause trouble, Joon.”

Namjoon sighed heavily. His instincts were telling him to send her home. She had no business being at his house, she had no right, especially after hurting him. But the time away from the city had helped some.

Despite the anger he still felt and the pain that weighed heavily on him – he could think more clearly. Since he still hadn’t told the rest of his family about what he and Victoria were going through yet, he didn’t want to raise any suspicions by barring her from saying goodbye to her father-in-law. After all, she was still legally married to him.

She cleared her throat nervously. “A-and…there’s something else that I need to tell you. I–”

He cuts her off. “You know what, I’ll bring you to see him now. I think he might be awake so–let’s just get this over with.”

She shut her mouth and nodded softly.

******

Leaving Victoria to have her own private moment with your dad, Namjoon joins you in the kitchen, seething. You both spoke in low tones, careful not to spill any of your brother’s secrets–in case anybody else walked in.

“I can’t believe she just showed up at our front door. She couldn’t just wait until after this was all over?”

You stared at Namjoon sympathetically. You knew what it was like to keep certain problems you weren’t quite ready to reveal yet. Standing behind the kitchen counter, you waited for Sam’s second mug to fill up with your parents’ single-mug brew machine. He was on for a marathon of calls today.

“Joon, you guys are still legally married. Everyone here knows that you’re married. Until you tell the rest of our family that you guys are over, she still has a right to be here and pay her respects. Plus, you haven’t returned any of her calls. How is she supposed to know that she’s not allowed here? Just because you think it so, she just telepathically gets it?”

Namjoon remains indignant. “But I don’t want her here! I’m already an emotional mess as it is with dad. I can’t deal with her at the same time!”

Arms crossed over your chest, you shrugged at your brother. “Well, there’s not much you can do about it now. She’s here so…you kind of have no choice but to talk to her.”

He drags his palms against his face then sighs heavily. “I really don’t know if I can, YN. The last time I saw her, she was talking to him,” he spat out bitterly, resting his forehead against his hands while he sat on a barstool at the kitchen counter.

“Right, but–keep in mind–you filed for divorce. She wronged you. So…why are you hiding in the kitchen?”

“Who’s hiding?” Jin asks as he comes downstairs for a cup of coffee. He decided to take a day off from the restaurant, leaving it up to his assistant manager to reach out for emergencies.

“Oh, look at that–Sam’s coffee is ready.” You grab the mug off the coffee machine while Namjoon silently begs you to stay and help him distract Jin. But you were already on your way upstairs.

----

“I see Vee made it out here,” he remarked, grabbing a mug out of the cupboard. He had stopped in to check on his dad and found his sister-in-law having a quiet chat with him.

Namjoon clears his throat and shifts in his seat.

After refilling the coffee machine with water and loading it up with a cartridge of grounds, Jin turns to regard his younger brother. Bubbling noises from the coffee machine fills the brief silence.

“You seem really tense,” Jin points out. “Everything alright?”

Namjoon’s jaw ticked but he eventually released a breath that he seemed to be holding since Victoria showed up at the front door. “Uh…just…a little stressed out, that’s all, hyung,” he tries to sound as casual as possible.

“I take it Vee’s back has magically healed overnight?” Jin kept a steady look at his dongsaeng. Namjoon rarely opened up to Jin but when he did, Jin tried his best to dole out empathetic yet practical advice. Sometimes, they were frank but they were never cruel.

Namjoon’s face heats up. His little white lie may have fooled Taehyung but not Jin. His guilty silence was all Jin needed to try and coax the truth out of him.

“Would you like to try that again, Namjoon-ah?” He kept his voice calm and assuring.

Namjoon swallows the lump in his throat, trying to form thoughts into words. Words that he was finding difficulty to verbalize to his older brother.

Finally, he relaxes his clenched jaw. “Victoria and I are getting a divorce.”

Jin’s eyes bulged and he wanted to gasp out loud but inhaled sharply instead. He had so many questions that he wanted to ask his younger brother but he held back since this seemed like something that Namjoon wasn’t quite ready to discuss in detail. Once he exhales, he rounds the counter to hug his brother tightly, taking Namjoon by surprise. He hugs his hyung in return.

“Are you okay?” Jin asks softly as he pulls away.

“No, not really,” Namjoon admitted. “It’s been a really difficult couple of months.”

Jin’s eyes widened again. A couple of months? Somewhere within him, Jin was disheartened that Namjoon had been suffering silently for this long…without any love or support from his family. He figured that Namjoon had told YN–since they shared virtually all of their secrets with each other.

“Do you…“ Jin hesitated for a beat, “Do you want to talk about it? Like, why–”

“I caught her cheating on me, hyung,” Namjoon says blankly–as if his mind had completely disengaged from his body. For some odd reason, he felt some small form of relief after breaking that seal.

Jin thought his eyes would pop out of their sockets. “Mwo–Vee? Cheat on you?” He whispered harshly, his voice going up a few octaves due to his incredulity.

“Yeah…” Namjoon’s lips narrowed into a thin line.

“W-wha…h-how…who–” Jin sputtered.

“Jaxon.” Namjoon deadpanned.

Jin choked out a bitter scoff. “That fucking dick?”

“Woah–good morning to you guys, too.” Taehyung enters the kitchen, surprised to hear Jin’s early-morning expletives.

“Are you boys playing nice?” His mom rounds the corner from the foyer after returning from a morning walk.

Namjoon breaks into a sweat.

Taehyung and his mom look at Jin and Namjoon–who both wore a deer-in-headlights expression on their faces. It was as if they’d been caught doing something illegal.

She looks to Taehyung for answers.

“Don’t look at me–I just got here…but I feel like I just walked into something.” Taehyung comments. “Does it have something to do with Victoria being here? She healed up pretty fast! I asked her about her back when I said ‘hi’ to dad earlier and she looked at me as if I was talking crazy.”

Jin looked at Namjoon tentatively. Namjoon’s mouth had gone dry–as if all of the air was just sucked out of the room. “You should tell them, Namjoon-ah,” he urges him gently.

Taehyung and their mom zero-in on Namjoon, awaiting his response. Guess this was going to be the day, he thought. He figured that there was no use trying to skirt the issue any longer–since said issue was currently under the same roof.

“Vee and I are splitting up.”

Taehyung’s jaw drops and their mom lets out a soft gasp, her hand instantly flying over her mouth.

“Was it…was it the baby?” She asks.

“Among other things,” Namjoon mutters. “She…cheated on me.”

Their mom’s hand clutches at her chest in surprise. She’s had her own opinions about Victoria over the years but since Namjoon seemed happy, she decided that she wouldn’t be that type of mother-in-law. But it didn’t stop her from complaining to YN or their dad.

“With Jaxon, no less,” Jin adds, making everyone’s jaw drop.

“That fucking dick!” Taehyung spits out angrily.

“Taehyung-ah!” She scolds him, pinching his side simultaneously, making him wince.

“What? Jin-hyung said it first!” Taehyung whines about being reprimanded for doing the same thing that his older brother said.

******

Namjoon does his best fielding questions from his family about her affair and the divorce. He wasn’t quite ready to talk about all of the details yet–and truthfully, he didn’t want to revisit the whole thing. He had decided within himself that it was enough that he let everything out in front of YN. He’d made up his mind and didn’t want to go back into that hole again.

One thing’s for sure, his mother and his brothers managed to convince him to have a decent conversation with Victoria–divorce or not. It was something that his sister had been pushing him to do but he’d been reluctant to face the music this whole time…understandably so.

Namjoon heads upstairs to check on his dad and Victoria. He had resigned himself to the fact that it was now or never–and there really wasn’t much room for him to keep avoiding her at this point. If–When the funeral happens, the rest of their friends and relatives will expect her to be there.

He pauses at the threshold when he catches them in the middle of an embrace. He backs away and hides behind the wall, out of sight. He heard some soft mumbling between them but he couldn’t quite make out the words.

“Thank you, abeonim.” He heard her say to his dad. He whispers something else to her and hears her answer in the affirmative.

Namjoon steps into the room and sees his dad cup his soon-to-be ex-daughter-in-law’s face and kisses her forehead while she smiles warmly at him.

Seconds later, they sense his presence and they both turn to see Namjoon standing by the doorway.

“Hey, dad–mom asked if you wanted her to bring up your breakfast now?”

“Yes, please,” he whispers. “Thank you, adeul.”

Namjoon and Victoria exchange looks. He signaled to her that he was ready to sit down and have a decent conversation. Getting the unspoken message, she nods at him, then smiles one last time at her father-in-law before she follows her husband out the door.

******

“Is your friend coming over today?”

Taehyung looks up from his phone in the midst of chewing on a huge bite of the cinnamon roll that YN baked yesterday. “Oh–” he chews some more and swallows before answering his mom.

“N-no. I think she had some meetings that she had to take but…she’s still at the hotel.”

“Is that so?” His mom asks suspiciously.

“Yeah. And I told her, it’s no big deal. It’s not like we’re–” he stopped himself. He turns to see his mom staring at him in anticipation.

Clearing his throat, he corrects his unfinished statement. “It’s not like she’s known dad for a long time. I, uh…told her she didn’t need to stick around. And uhm…you know, the kids…it’s…it’s fine. She doesn’t…doesn’t have to hang out with them,” he stammered incoherently.

“Mm…I see.” Sensing his need to change the subject of Eunhae, she doesn’t push.

“Have you sat with dad yet?”

Taehyung’s eyebrows crease but smiles at how ridiculous his mom’s question seemed to him. “Ma, of course I have! I hang out with him all the time. We talk about sports, food…music.”

Suddenly, he falls silent for a beat. “He said that I can keep his record collection when…you know…”

She nods softly then puts her hands on his shoulders, rubbing them in an attempt to comfort her youngest. “Have you said goodbye to him?”

“Ma–” he shrugs her hands off. “Don’t…” he shook his head. “Don’t say that.” He knew that he had to…he was just having a difficult time accepting it. “I’m…just waiting until Jin-hyung, Namjoonie-hyung, and noona get their turns,” he shrugs.

“Is that really it?”

“I’m used to going last, ma. It’s how my life’s been. I watch my hyungs and noona do it…and then, I go. But at that point, nobody’s paying attention to me anymore since they’ve already seen three people before me.”

She eyed him silently before speaking. “Sweetheart, I’m not saying this to torture you. Your dad doesn’t have long. He knows it and accepts it. You should never leave things unsaid…and if you do, you will regret it for the rest of your life.”

Taehyung sighed. “I just…I don’t want to say the wrong thing, you know? This–could be the last good conversation I have with dad and I…” he raked his hair with his fingers. “I just need some time to think it through.”

“Alright. You do that…but don’t take too long, okay?”

Taehyung nodded. She smiled, placed her hand on the side of his head and gently leaned it towards her so she could kiss the top of it.

******

Only a few minutes after his mom talks to him, Taehyung decides to go upstairs. These days, his dad falls in and out of consciousness. The pain medication makes it difficult for him to stay awake for longer than half an hour.

When his dad opened his eyes, he was greeted by the sound of soft music playing. He turned his head to the side, smiling to find his youngest. Taehyung was leaning back against the chair with his eyes closed while gently tapping his foot to the beat.

While he also shared a love for music with Namjoon, he was into a completely different genre. Taehyung on the other hand? He was an old soul.

“Taehyungie…”

His eyes fly open and he smiles at his dad. “Hey. Did I wake you?”

“I’m happy to wake up to Bobby McFerrin’s voice,” he smiled as his rendition of ‘Drive My Car’ echoed in the background.

“I’m keeping this record,” Taehyung states decisively.

His dad laughs. “I told you–you can keep the whole thing. You can trade or sell ones you don’t like. As long as someone else gets to enjoy them when I’m gone.”

At the sound of that, Taehyung sucks in a sharp breath and his face falters.

“What? What is it?”

Taehyung, trying to look unbothered by his dad’s impending mortality, shakes it off. “N-nothing, dad,” he smiles tightly. He’s suddenly regretting not taking more time to consider this ‘talk.’

“Ah, Taehyungie…are you really going to lie to me while I’m on my deathbed?”

Taehyung balked at his tone. “How can you be so casual about it?”

“I’m not. This is me, accepting my fate. It…wasn’t really what I had hoped for. It’s…uncomfortable, it’s painful…it’s hard as hell…but,” he shrugs, “It’s the card I was dealt. I’m scared, too, you know?”

Taehyung’s face softened.

“But you know what? That’s okay. There are a lot of unknowns in this life…but we have to face them one way or another.” He then looked at his son pointedly. “It’s easy to settle into something comfortable…something predictable. It’s harder to step out of your comfort zone and explore the unknown. It’s like…like jumping into a bottomless pit!”

Then his dad paused to try and make sense of it. “You know what? I’ve always wondered how people would dub such things as ‘bottomless’ unless they’ve actually gone through it? Nobody can call something ‘bottomless’ and live to tell the tale. It’s nothing but a senseless scare tactic!”

Taehyung‘s eyebrows crease, absolutely dumbfounded at his dad’s argument. “And why would I want to jump into a bottomless pit? That seems like a death wish–“ He gasps at his comment. “S-sorry, no offense, dad!” He apologizes reflexively.

His dad laughed. “None taken, Taehyungie. What I’m trying to allude to here is that you need to push yourself and take some chances. Find out what’s out there for yourself!”

Taehyung groans as this same topic is brought up again. “Dad…we’ve talked about this–”

“Yes, yes I know,” he interjects. “But I refuse to believe that you are fully content in your comfort zone.”

“It’s…you know…it’s not so bad,” Taehyung counters weakly.

His dad scoffs. “Take your girlfriend, for instance–”

“Dad! She’s not my–”

“Fine! Your friend, the girl,” he corrects himself. “Seems to me that she’s taken a huge leap by coming over here.”

Taehyung chuckles wryly. “She only did that because she felt bad for me.”

“Ah, well…that’s not how I see it,” his dad points out. “Now…I don’t know what happened between you two but I see that she cares enough to make the trek all the way out here for you.”

Taehyung falls silent, the crackling of the record playing switching tracks fill the room before the whistling from ‘Don’t Worry, Be Happy,’ swells.

“I love this song,” his dad remarks. “It always makes me smile.”

Taehyung agrees. He remembers watching his dad play this record, while he laid next to the console, with his ear pressed against the floorboards, listening to the baritone voice and snapping fingers thumping into his eardrums.

“I’m scared of making the wrong move, dad. It’s…it’s why I stay in my comfort zone. I just feel like I’m not going to be able to do it right.”

“And you don’t want to aim too high in case you end up falling?”

Taehyung pursed his lips. His dad didn’t need an answer.

“Taehyungie—you think your hyungs and noona know what they’re doing 100% of the time?”

Taehyung frowns at the question, like something that’s been there the whole time but he took no notice – it was a fresh perspective. Considering the shitshow going on with his brother and the crossroads his noona seemed to be at, maybe he wasn’t the only one… figuring things out.

“I mean…they look like they have a pretty good idea as to where or how their lives are supposed to go. Otherwise, they wouldn't push me all the time to make a move.” He mumbled, his eyes looking downcast at the floor.

“They care about you, Taehyungie. They know you’re capable of so much more, that’s why they push you. You just need to take that chance!” His dad urged him. “Whether it’s your job…or this girl…make a decision. And deciding not to decide doesn’t count!”

Taehyung sinks into the seat and thinks about his whole situation with Eunhae…and how he so badly wanted to take a chance with her. The only reason he wouldn’t was because he thinks that he’s already guessed what she’s decided.

And work? Yes, he’s had opportunities–plenty! Even Jungkook offered to get him into his workplace…but Taehyung was scared of failure. Most of all, he was scared of disappointing himself.

“I’ll tell you what I told your Jin-hyung last night—if you’re scared, then do it scared! At least you’ll have a clear answer. You won’t know until you know. Because–what if it turns out that that bottomless pit actually has an end to it? Then, hey! You can wear it as a badge of honor!”

Taehyung peered up at his dad and retorted, “And if I fall to my death?”

“Welp…can’t be any worse than where I’m at, right?” His dad laughed, making Taehyung laugh in turn.

His mom stands by the doorway, unbeknownst to them, smiling at the scene.

******

The house was quiet. Namjoon’s mom and Taehyung were upstairs while Sam was chained to the desk on his laptop and phone. YN, Jin, and Yoojung decided to go grocery shopping with the kids. Oddly enough, Namjoon craved the sound of his niece and nephew running around the place. But he promised himself that he would try to be calm and present instead of volatile like last time. It was a shame to admit it but he needed to find some form of closure, too.

Namjoon decided he and Victoria should talk out in the backyard. As soon as they get to the bottom of the steps, Victoria gets a whiff of something from the kitchen.

Her face sours. “Oh god–what is that smell?”

Namjoon raises his eyebrows. “Uh–I don’t know…cinnamon, I think?” He says flatly. “YN and the kids baked cinnamon rolls yesterday. Taehyungie may have warmed up–”

Victoria dry-heaves then abruptly excuses herself and runs off to the downstairs bathroom, barely making it.

His eyebrows knit in confusion and he slowly walked down the hallway. When he stops outside the bathroom, he finds the door slightly ajar. He pushes it open to find her sitting on the floor, hugging the toilet.

“Are you alright? Are you sick or something? Because if you’ve got some virus, you probably shouldn’t have been hugging my dad,” he warns, worried about his dad’s nonexistent immune system.

She grabs a handful of toilet paper and dabs it around her mouth. “Nope, not a virus,” she says dryly. “But some would consider it more of a parasite.”

******

Namjoon’s jaw is unhinged.

Victoria sits across from him, taking a sip of water as she patiently watches him digest her news.

“How are you so sure that it’s mine?” He manages to blurt out after coming out of his state of shock.

She released a sharp but definitive breath. “Because it is yours, Namjoon.”

He cocked a questioning eyebrow at her.

She lowers her voice. “Jaxon…” she sighed, “Apparently…got snipped last year.” She pursed her lips and looked downward. “He said that with his lifestyle? He didn’t want to risk it.”

Namjoon didn’t know whether he wanted to laugh or sneer in disgust at that. He was shocked that Jaxon actually went ahead and got a vasectomy but he wasn’t surprised. Sometime last year, in the midst of his world tour, a groupie claimed that he got her pregnant.

Jaxon and his management were sweating bullets. He was just hitting his stride and at the peak of his popularity. The company, understandably, wanted to do everything they could to protect their investment.

Much to their relief, it turned out to be an extortion plot. One would think that something like that would deter Jaxon or attempt to make lifestyle changes…but he was back at it the next day. Management just had to revise their NDA protocols.

Namjoon sighed heavily, his thumb and forefinger rubbing his tear ducts before pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Anyway, I’m not here to guilt you into getting back together. I’m here to let you know that I’m keeping it.” She says evenly. “A-and, you can be as involved as you want…or not.”

That made Namjoon’s head snap up. He found her gazing intently at him.

“Why would you automatically assume that I would not want to be involved? Do you take me for a deadbeat? Have you been hanging out with Jaxon too long?” He barked.

Victoria chewed at her bottom lip. Her intention was not to piss him off. She just didn’t want him to feel any sort of obligation towards her since they were ending their marriage. “Joon…I…I apologize. I didn’t mean for it to come out that way.”

She took in a sharp breath, cautious with her next words. “I just remember that…early on, before we got married, you said that you didn’t really want any kids so…” she trailed off.

He puffed his cheeks out and let out a breath, his thoughts swirling in his head.

“Vee, just because I said that before–did you think that I wouldn’t care or-or-or–that I was not allowed to change my opinion on it if and when it actually happened?”

He stared at her pointedly, unsure if he wanted to hear an answer from her.

“Look…after we lost our first one–I…I thought you were relieved–”

“Relieved?” He all but yelled out incredulously. “How could you say that? Are you just assuming that’s how I felt?”

“After the miscarriage, it’s like…we shut each other out.”

He chuckled bitterly, moistening his lips with his tongue before biting into his lower lip to control his irritation at her.

“And you didn’t think that blaming me for what happened had anything to do with that?”

Her brows furrowed slightly in confusion, shaking her head. “W-wha…I-I didn’t–”

Namjoon talked over her. “You said to me, after I brought you home from your D&C–you said–’This is your fault…because you didn’t want it.’” He returned her dumbstruck gaze. “That was verbatim, by the way,” he finishes sarcastically.

“Joon…y-you have to understand, I was…emotional…I was–”

“And I wasn’t? Just because I had told you a long time ago that I didn’t want children–you’d throw it in my face? How do you not expect someone to shut down after hearing shit like that?”

Namjoon swallowed harshly. “I tried to get you help, Vee. I did that because I love you and I care about you. I hated seeing you like that. You wouldn’t open up to me and…I just couldn’t talk to you. Every time I made an attempt, you pushed me away…” He paused for a beat then scoffed bitterly, “Only to run towards Jaxon?”

He felt the rage bubbling up inside him again. “Of all people, why did it have to be him?” He clenched his fists on the table’s surface, struggling to keep his voice down so his family wouldn’t hear.

Not that he would ever forgive Victoria if she fucked somebody else. But he knew that Jaxon was a player. He’d been an unwilling audience to his misogynistic ‘orations’ about his female conquests. Namjoon always had to refocus their sessions not just because studio time cost money but he just hated hearing all of it.

“Namjoon,” she said softly, “I will never be able to justify what I did–nor was I planning to. I know that I hurt you and it was wrong of me to deal with my grief that way. I was selfish and…” She looked up at him, her eyes welling up with tears.

For a moment, that look transported him through time. Memories flashed through his mind like a rapid slideshow. The day they first met, the day he asked her to marry him, the day he found out that she was pregnant for the first time…to the last good day that they shared.

He was just coming back from an overnight studio session with another artist. When he came home, she was there to greet him. She had a different aura to her that day. She was happy. As exhausted as Namjoon was, it gave him a second wind. She made lunch–which they both ate in the living room, instead of the dining table–while the TV was on. Lunch was followed by a slow fuck, in the middle of the afternoon, on their couch…then a second time on the living room floor.

That was their last good day. It was the last good memory that he held onto–after everything went back to the normal melancholic routine. Now, he wondered if that day was tainted with guilt.

He propped his elbows on his knees and cradled his head in his hands.

“Look, Namjoon…I know that…” she sighed, “Many things have happened…words have been exchanged and that you feel differently–”

“You don’t know half of what I’m feeling, Victoria,” he counters angrily.

“Joon…I’m not here to fight,” she said softly. “I’ve come to the conclusion that you’ve made up your mind about us. The papers that you sent told me as much,” she said, referring to the divorce petition.

“And, honestly, I agree that our time is done. I just thought that…it was important for me to let you know that you’re going to be a father.”

“Holy. Fucking. Shit!”

Victoria and Namjoon’s necks whip around to find Taehyung standing frozen on the deck that led into the yard. His eyes were as wide as dinner plates. He was trying to get some fresh air after his heavy conversation with his dad.

“You’re pregnant?”

Namjoon groans and nearly rips every strand of his hair out. “Fucking hell! How do people just keep popping up randomly…out of nowhere?” He hisses rhetorically, groaning at how oddly perfect his family’s timing was every time there was a big reveal about his life.

******

After their conversation, Victoria tells him that she’s staying at the hotel downtown. If he needed to talk some more–about the baby or the divorce, she’d be there.

Once she left, Namjoon couldn’t stop fidgeting and pacing around in the basement.

She was pregnant–and it was his–but they were divorcing. So many thoughts rushed in, flooding his mind. What would people say? Had he made a mistake? Should he try and work it out with her–for the baby? He couldn’t wrap his head around any of it.

One thing’s for sure–he would get another chance at being a father.

He puffed out his cheeks and let out a deep breath…but that didn’t settle him. He took in another breath and exhaled…his chest still felt tight. Maybe it was the basement? Or it could be the walls that he felt were closing in on him.

He needed to get some air. He needed a reprieve.

He ran up the stairs, passing his mom, who asked him if everything was okay.

He doesn’t answer and instead goes into the garage, where she follows.

“Namjoon-ah, what’s wrong? What happened?”

He ignores her, grabs his bicycle off its hooks and pushes the switch to open the garage door. It scrolls up excruciatingly slowly but he mounts his bike anyway and pedals out of the garage even before the door fully opens.

She makes no further attempt to stop him–even when Jin, YN, Yoojung, and her grandchildren pull up at the curb. She stays rooted in her position, looking completely flummoxed while she watches her second son speed farther away from home.

******

Come dinnertime, the door from the garage that led into the house clicks and Namjoon walks into the kitchen shortly after.

“Oh, there you are, Namjoon!” Your mom says in relief. “We were so worried…you didn’t tell anybody where you ran off to earlier after Victoria left!”

“That’s because I didn’t want to tell anybody where I was going,” Namjoon answers curtly.

“Namjoon-ah,” Jin says with authority. “Watch your tone.”

Namjoon sighs and tucks his emotions aside and bows to his mom in apology. “I’m sorry, eomma.”

She nodded, accepting it and urged him to take a seat and get some food in his system. Truthfully, he wanted to ride his bike all the way to Hangsang to grab a drink. It was the middle of the day–but surely it’s five o’clock somewhere. He resisted the urge and rode home instead.

“Hey, guys–we should cut Namjoonie-hyung some slack. He’s got a lot on his plate–”

“Taehyung-ah…” Namjoon says with a low rumble, firing an indirect warning at your youngest brother.

“First, the divorce and now Vee-noona is pregnant–”

“What?” Everyone says in unison.

Namjoon curses, this time under his breath so he doesn’t risk getting in trouble again.

“Wait–Vee is pregnant?” You repeat. “How?”

The sound of a dish shattering makes everyone’s heads whip around to find Yoojung by the sink on the verge of tears. Feeling embarrassed and heartbroken, Yoojung storms off upstairs to their room.

Jin, seeing the look of distress in his wife’s face, sighs heavily and looks around the table to silently excuse himself.

His mom nods. “Go on, Seokjin. I’ll clean this up.”

Namjoon, who was seated closest, stopped your mom and instead stood to take the broom from the corner to sweep up the broken pieces.

******

“Yeobo?” Jin knocks on the door and calls to her from the other side. “It’s me. Can I come in?”

It took a few beats of silence and Jin was intent on leaving her alone, if she needed to be. But then he hears footsteps closing in on the door, and soon, Yoojung opens it. She walks back towards the bed, sitting on it, with a few pieces of balled up tissues next to her.

He takes a seat on the mattress beside her.

“D-did you hurt yourself?” He asks, checking her fingers for any cuts from the broken dish.

She clutches her forehead. “Oh, god! I have to go back down and pick up–”

“Don’t worry about it. They…got it handled.”

“I’m so sorry–I…I couldn’t help it. I’m just–” she blew out a puff of air, trying to rein in her emotions. “They weren’t even remotely trying for another baby!” She blurts out bitterly.

“Yoojung, you don’t know that for sure–”

“Why her?” She spat out. “Why? Why her?”

Jin is caught off-guard by her question. While he struggles to find an answer, she continues her tirade.

“I’m a good wife. I respect my in-laws. I am here, cooking, cleaning…taking care of you and your family–not just because I’m duty-bound but because I genuinely love them! I love them as if they were my own family! I love your nephew and niece as if I birthed them myself!”

He watched as fat tears pushed their way past her eyes and dripped down her cheek.

“She hates coming to this place. She doesn’t cook, clean, or take care of her husband! She had an affair, chrissake! They are getting a divorce! And yet she gets to be pregnant? Is that what I have to do?!” She finishes angrily. Part of it was brought on by the excess hormones in her system but he knew the real root of her frustration.

It crushed Jin to think that this was how she felt. That the universe had been unfair to them…to her. “Yoojung…” He cupped her face and wiped her tears with his fingers. “Please don’t think of it like that. I thought that we discussed this? You can’t have outbursts like that.”

She jerked her face away from him. “It still doesn’t change the way I feel!” She gets up and walks towards the window, looking out in the yard where YN and Namjoon were playing with the kids. “I just don’t know what else to do, Jin. Almost everyone from our high school class either has a kid or one on the way. What is wrong with me?”

“Yeobo…” he sighs heavily. “Look, I’m just as frustrated as you are. But… to tell you frankly…I’m scared.” His admission felt like one heavy load lifted off his chest.

That gave her pause. She turns away from the window and turns around to find her husband standing right in front of her. He exuded confidence each and every day. But the man who stood in front of her now looked vulnerable. A sight that she was unfamiliar with. “Scared? Of what?”

Jin scoffs. “I just…I don’t know.” He shakes his head. “I’m scared that I won’t be a good dad.”

Her heart squeezes at his confession. She instinctively goes to him to envelop him in her arms to give him the warmest embrace she could muster. When she pulls away, she touches his cheek.

“Jin, I never knew you felt that way. Why didn’t you tell me?”

He shrugged. “Because I know that you want us to have a kid so badly. I didn’t want to add to your stress…”

She looks crestfallen, suddenly feeling guilty of being self-centered, focusing on her insecurities and frustrations but never thinking about how her husband felt about this whole process.

“D-do you…” She hesitates for a beat, “Do you not want a–”

“No, no, Yoojung. It’s not like that.” He interjects right away, anticipating the end of her question. “Of course I want kids with you. God…you’d make such a great mom someday–I just know it! It’s me…I’m the one who feels like I’m not up to the job.”

She smiled at him, feeling some sense of relief that he still wanted to start a family with her. “Jin–how can you say that? Do you see how Joobin and Jooni look up to you? How much they love you? You’re so good with them!”

“I mean…” he smiles sheepishly. “I think it helps that they’re good kids. That sounds so biased but…What if our kid cries all night or…throws tantrums all day? What if…they get sick and I don’t know what to do–”

She cupped his face with her hands, effectively shutting him up. “Yeobo–it’s ‘we’.”

“Huh?”

“We–what if we don’t know what to do? You’ve always told me that we’re on this journey together. You and me. We will figure it out together. We’ll be a team. And we’ll have lots of help! Our family who love and care about us–they’ll be there to support us and encourage us.”

He gave her a rueful smile and clasped his hands over hers. “I love you so much, yeobo.”

“I love you.” She tilted her chin up to give him a peck on his lips. “And if it helps, I think you’ll make a great dad, too.”

******

After bringing Sam his dinner back to the room, you checked in on your dad. You took it upon yourself to clear his dinner tray and refill his drinking cup.

“What was all that commotion earlier?” He asks, probably referring to your mom yelling out for Namjoon when he stormed off to God-knows-where. Thankfully, the windows were double-paned so your dad didn’t hear exactly what was said.

“Oh–it’s uhhh…” Quick, think of something, YN! “I think Joon was trying to move some stuff in the garage and mom told him to be careful in case he broke any of your things,” you lied.

He chuckled softly. “Ahh, my accident-prone boy. It’s a wonder he’s able to work around all of those buttons and dials all day,” he says, referring to Namjoon’s studio.

“Well…that’s oppa’s sanctuary. He loves it, so he’s fully aware that he needs to take great care of it.”

He hummed in the affirmative. “I agree. If it’s something you consider as your sanctuary–you have to take care of it. You must take care of it...because it’s where you feel the safest. It’s…like your mother and I. Even after all this time, she’s still my sanctuary…”

You sat down on the seat and gazed at him.

“You know, even though we spent so much time apart, we always kept that spark between us,” he says wistfully.

Your eyes widened. “Oh, god–dad…let’s not–please…” You waved your hands ‘no’ and squeezed your eyes shut while his wheezes rang around the room.

“That wasn’t even what I was alluding to, princess,” he coughs out.

You shift uncomfortably at the thought. You figured that spark had resulted in you–under a year after Namjoon was born. And the same one that brought Taehyung into the world–so soon after they celebrated your first birthday.

“What can I say? Your mother is a beautiful woman. There was no such thing as FaceTime or video chats–”

“Okay, dad! I am seriously going to jump out of the window!” This was getting very awkward for you.

“Alright, alright,” he relents, still wheezing. “My point is–when you and your siblings moved out, your mom and I loved each other more than we ever have. It was as if–no time had passed at all.”

You shook your head in disbelief. “How did you and mom do it, dad? She was gone all the time…how did you not resent her?”

“Honey–your mom may not have been physically here but she was every bit a part of our lives as if she was standing in the same room as you. It broke her heart to have to leave home over and over to work...and maybe it was how the times were back then but–decades ago, you just did what you had to do to make sure that the family survived. Plus, your mother was breaking barriers in her industry–how could I not be supportive of that?”

“But–you must have felt helpless? Or…lonely?”

“Helpless, sometimes. But lonely? Never. We spoke every day. She checked in and asked about each and every one of you…always.”

“But the distance? And did…” You hesitated for a beat, “Did you ever regret taking so much on?”

“No.” He replies instantaneously. “ I may have questioned it sometimes but I never once regretted it. I wanted to do it. Your mom and I chose to come to that decision together.”

Your mom did what she had to, but you couldn’t help but wish that she was there to witness significant events in your life…to able to run into her room to talk or cry to her about something that neither your brothers nor your dad would understand.

You silently vowed that when the time came that you had your own family, they would have their mother present…cuddling them when they wake up crying from a nightmare; cooking them dinner; dropping them off at school; helping them get ready for dances…talking to you about their heartbreak.

Despite all those moments that she missed, you never resented her. You were still over the moon whenever she was home and you always maximized your time with her.

She was there when you got married and she was present when your children were born. And seeing her interact with them? It was just magical. They loved her so much and they would sob once they knew that it was time for halmeoni to leave and go home with harabeoji.

Your dad’s face faltered. “The distance was…very difficult,” he admitted. “There were times when she would just cry into the phone. I did my best to hold back but I also had days when I would just unleash my frustrations.”

Growing pains were rough on your dad. The four of you really put him through it–especially when you all went through puberty.

“But you know what? We kept each other strong. That’s what a marriage is supposed to be. You’re supposed to work at it…together. Because if you want something to work, you would find ways to make it work. But if your heart’s not in it and you don’t want to put in effort–there are ways to do that, too.”

Yes, you took on pretty much both parenting roles while Sam brought in the money. He even said that you didn’t need to work since he was making more than enough for both of you.

But something in you craved and yearned to do something else…or be something else…other than ‘mom’.

And deep down, during your darkest and most difficult days, you wished that Sam would also want to be something else–other than a master-negotiator. You wished that he would have that same need to be ‘dad’…or better yet, a husband.

You sighed, leaning forward to put your head in your hands. “I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up, dad.” You were embarrassed to admit it. “I’m…I’m failing. I’m a failure,” you whimpered softly. You felt like a fraud...a hypocrite. Here you were, encouraging your brothers and supporting them through their relationship troubles–whilst yours was dying a slow and painful death. It might as well be laid up next to your dad.

“You’re not a failure, YN.” You felt his weak touch on the crown of your head, which you lifted to look at him.

“Your pride gets in the way of things. And I can’t help but feel that I may have had a hand in that. I’m sorry, YN.”

You wiped your tears away. “Dad, no–you didn’t–“

“Honey, if Hobi’s parents hadn’t offered to help me, I wouldn’t have taken it. I would have faked it until I couldn’t anymore. I wanted to show your mom that I could do it…I can raise you all and keep the restaurant open. I didn’t want her to worry. And damn me to hell if I didn’t fulfill that promise.”

And he really did. He was exhausted most days but you would have never been able to tell. He helped with homework; he was at PTA meetings; and he even made it to a few school plays.

He then looked more intently at you. “I think that’s why you’re overcompensating for Sam.”

The tears started up again. “He’s a good provider....and a good dad when can be.” It wasn’t an objection to your dad’s comment. It was a non-answer. You don’t know exactly how or when it started to fall apart between you two. You think it was shortly before Jooni was born.

“I’m not disputing that, YN…but is he a good husband to you?”

You had a full-time job up until Jooni was born. It was around the same time that Sam’s work was gaining proliferation. He was traveling more, spending long stretches of time away from you and the kids. It was a difficult conversation for you two and a much more difficult decision that you had to make–but just as your dad had done for you and your brothers, you elected to be the primary stay-at-home parent.

Your lips curved into a smile but it didn’t reach your eye. “Dad…you of all people know that married couples have to make sacrifices once they have children.”

“I understand that, YN. But one of those sacrifices shouldn’t be your relationship…or yourself.”

You inwardly cringe. You weren’t in the mood for the whole ‘a wife has an obligation to fulfill her husband’s needs’ speech.

“Love is like a garden. In order for it to grow, you have to cultivate it. Otherwise, it dies.”

“Dad, you don’t think I tried? Sam and I have gone through therapy…but–” You held back a sob. “It just feels like I’m the only one trying. I hate to admit it but…I think I’m getting tired of doing that. I’m trying to fight–but this…thing… is beating me.” You swipe at an errant tear that pushes its way past your eyes.

Your dad smiled resolutely. “That doesn’t sound like someone who’s giving up. It sounds like you’re simply conceding. And it's not because you’re a coward but this is you realizing that this is a battle not worth fighting anymore.”

You hung your head. “But the kids…”

“Kids are resilient, YN. Your children are resilient. Would you rather they watch you go through life just going through the motions? Or–stand by something just because–you want to prove to yourself or other people that, what? That you did it?”

Your dad’s introspection was legendary. He summed up almost two years of therapy in so few words. Hobi. Sam. The kids. You sat there in quiet indignance, still refusing to accept that you needed a lifeline.

“Princess–don’t do this to yourself. You don’t need to prove anything. Since you were a little kid, you always tried to tough it out–just like your brothers did. But it takes immense strength to admit that you, too, can be weak. People are allowed to fail at things…it’s what makes us human.”

You rubbed your temples, faced with a predicament.

“My advice? Think about your life, 15-20 years from now…probably around the time when the kids are old enough to move out.”

You stared at your dad, subconsciously imagining your life so far down the road.

“Picture yourself doing any activity–traveling, taking a walk down the street…or even something as mundane as watching TV. Do you see yourself doing all of those things with Sam?”

You kept your eyes at him, not wanting to answer too hastily.

“If you picture yourself doing all those things with him and being genuinely happy just enjoying his company–then fight for that. Fight for that future, YN,” He says with conviction before softening his expression. “But if all you’re doing is keeping it together for your children? Then that foundation is not strong enough to support a marriage.”

******

After dinner, Namjoon moves upstairs to read to his dad. It was something that he found comforting…for both of them.

“Namjoonie…” he wheezed out.

Namjoon was in the middle of reading a passage when he nearly jumped off the seat as his dad called out to him.

He moved closer to his bedside. “Yes, dad? Do you want me to get you anything?”

“No,” he whispers. “But I’ve been watching you this whole time. Something’s worrying you, adeul. Tell me.”

Namjoon sighed. “Nothing that should worry you, dad.”

He wheezed at him. “I won’t be here for long, boy. Why don’t you just tell me now,” he demands softly. Seems this was an ongoing trend with his sons.

Namjoon hesitates. He blows out a sharp breath and slumps back into the chair. “Victoria and I are divorcing.”

His dad’s eyebrows furrowed. “Oh? How come?”

“She…” he bit the inside of his cheek in an attempt to not only rein his anger in but he was unsure whether he wanted to outwardly admit that his wife had been cheating on him right under his nose.

“We’ve outgrown each other,” was all he could muster.

His dad sighs. “That’s too bad, Joon. I’m sorry to hear that.”

Namjoon sat up in surprise. He was expecting a full lecture from him.

“Somehow, I felt deep-down, that you were both unhappy with each other. You know, after…” He trailed off, alluding to the miscarriage.

Namjoon squeezes his forehead with one hand, then after, rubbed his eyes with both.

“Part of me feels wrong about it…like, I failed at it.”

His dad chuckled softly. “Namjoonie—this isn’t an exam. It’s marriage. You’re allowed to be bad at it…just like life in general. You’re so used to doing things your way and working on it until you think it’s perfect…well, perfect for you. Yet you’re still unsatisfied after all that.”

Namjoon tilted his head back and stared at the ceiling. “I just have this need to one-up myself. Like…I can’t keep doing things the same way every time. I feel like…I have to diversify my skills. Otherwise…I’ll get phased out!”

“Are you good at driving?” His dad asks out of nowhere.

Namjoon sighed. Driving was a necessity for him. He wasn’t the best at it but he thought he was good enough to get himself to Point A and B. But he never went on long drives, apart from the city and then back to his hometown. He never drove past the recommended speed limit. He never passes cars on the highway or tries to squeak past a yellow light. That was only because he was very cautious. And because of that, he has a perfect driving record–which he was very proud of!

“I’m…alright, I guess. I can’t do donuts like hyung or parallel park like Tae. I can’t multitask–like, talk on the phone or eat like YN does.”

His dad wheezed out a laugh “But you get by, right? The point is, you got through the written test, the road test–and now you have your license.”

“Only because I had to.”

“Exactly. Because you had to. Sometimes, we don’t do things for the sole purpose of mastering them or excelling in them. We do them because we need to. There’s no shame in that.”

Namjoon’s chest puffed up and he let out a deep exhale.

“I get that it’s hard for you to fight your natural instincts, adeul. But trust me on this–if you keep setting yourself up to meet a goal of perfection, you will always be disappointed. You’ll always think that you’ve failed. You have to allow yourself room to make mistakes…or–accept the fact that…you can’t be good at everything.”

Namjoon leaned back against the chair. He had to admit, his dad pretty much captured everything he had been feeling for the last few months. Unable to feel inspired at his job, unsatisfied with the mediocre beats and lyrics he’s been producing.

And Victoria…

He couldn’t place all of the blame on her. He guessed that he may have fallen short, one way or another. It takes two to make a marriage work, after all.

“Whatever you decide, Namjoonie–you need to make sure that it will be the best thing for your child.”

Namjoon gathered that Victoria had told his dad this morning. He scoffed at the thought. “Kind of a weird way to find out about your future grandchild?”

“You of all people should know that the means don't really matter to me. As long as I get there–and everyone’s limbs are intact–I consider that a great success.”

The sudden cheekiness made Namjoon and his dad laugh heartily. His dad’s chest blooms with warmth seeing his son’s dimples, poking out. His mom had an identical set as well–it was part of her charm.

When they both calm down, his dad turns serious once more.

“You know, you and your eomma have more in common than you think. Always stressing about the details, wanting to make sure that everything is done right–meaning her way.”

They stared at each other in silence for a bit. Namjoon and his mom clashed often. It was the primary reason why he wanted to leave home. He wanted to get out of his mom’s shadow and make a name for himself.

Despite numerous offers from her to use her connections, he turned all of them down and forged his own path. As a result, he earned his own accolades. Although, every now and then, he’d be irritated at supplementary lines from articles:

’Namjoon, whose mother is award-winning veteran actress, Young Lina…’

Even after all that effort, there was always some way that his mother would be attached to his name. It was difficult to accept that but he deduced that it all came with the territory.

For a while, he harbored some resentment towards her. But it was resentment brought on by his yearning for her. She was gone a lot because of work. His siblings were a bit more forgiving but when she was home, he didn’t fawn over her like they did. The family vacations were great–but he wanted his mom around more. In a way, he was jealous of Hobi…at least his mom was there whenever he needed her.

Namjoon argued with her, sometimes rebelled against her–only to be scolded by his dad. So he dialed it down but remained silently adamant…at least until he had the chance to move out. Over the years, he’s loosened up more–especially after meeting Victoria. And when Jooni was born…he’d been in a happier headspace.

But that was then. It’s been years since he’s spent this much time with his mother. He couldn’t help when those feelings resurfaced.

“You know, now that you’re going to be a father, I think that you need to take it easier on your mom. She may have fallen short on some things in your eyes…but she did what she needed to–to support our family. She always made sure that you and all your siblings were taken care of, and that none of you would need to worry about anything.”

“But dad, you did a lot, too.”

“And so did she,” his dad argues. “So did she. When she was at the studio or on location, she would book doctor’s appointments, get in touch with tutors, and make sure that you had all of the books that you needed for school. When you were sick, she would place long-distance calls to your pediatricians. When you all started dating, she always called to ask how everything was going. If they made you happy.”

Namjoon thought that his dad had done all of the heavy lifting in raising him and his siblings.

“Even from afar, she never stopped being your mom. You have to know that. And…with this separation that you’re going through in your marriage—it’s parallel to her experience.”

Like it or not, Namjoon wouldn’t be able to spend every waking hour with his child. That was something he had to come to terms with. But one thing’s for sure—he would do everything he could to make sure that that child was loved by both their parents.

“When I’m gone, your mom will be happy to help you through it. She’s just waiting for you to ask.”

******

The hospice nurse dropped by shortly after Namjoon and his dad spoke. They checked on vitals while Taehyung, Jin, and Namjoon came over to help turn their dad on the bed to prevent bedsores. The nurse makes sure that the patient wasn't under any discomfort, to which he assures them that he was not. They tell the family that a social worker should come by the next morning to check on his welfare before they leave.

Afterwards, Lina begins her husband’s night ritual. She empties out his bedpan and gives him his sponge bath, helping him into his pajamas.

In the last few days, he had gotten so frail. At times, he tried to cover himself up, almost ashamed that he was making her care for him.

But she didn’t mind. She didn’t mind at all. Any other actress her age would be grateful to retire with her final film or TV credit being an incredibly popular one. Even her agent would say that she still had a few more good years left in her. But when her husband fell ill, she was happy to give that all up. He had taken good care of her household–now, it was her turn to take care of him.

She fluffs his pillows, propping them behind him until he was comfortable. When she pulls his blanket up to his chest, he curls his fingers around her hand.

“Yeobo…”

“Yes, my love?”

“Are you happy?”

She chuckled lightly. “Of course I am. Why would you ask that?”

“I just wanted to make sure that you were.”

“Why wouldn’t I be, hm? What would make you think that?”

He laughs, accepting her answer.

“Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for getting the children back here.”

“You’re a big part of their lives. How could they not be here for you?” She smiled sadly.

“I’m worried about them, Lina.”

She nods wistfully. “I know. But…I think they’ll be alright. You raised them after all.”

“No–we raised them,” he stressed. “You and me.”

“See, this is like you giving an award to a background actor,” she jests sarcastically.

He wheezed. “Yeobo–this is not a contest. The kids love you…hell, Jooni and Joobin think you’re this magical fairy queen who makes all of their dreams come true!”

“I’m making up for lost time…just like I am with you.”

“You never have to make up for lost time with me. What have we always said to each other? Keep moving forward…and–”

“Never leave things unsaid,” she finished.

It was an unconventional marriage–sure. But only they understood it and only they knew how to make it work. At the end of the day, it was their relationship. All that mattered was that they loved each other.

They stared at each other affectionately.

He breaks the silence with a sardonic question. “What is it with an impending death and people suddenly becoming open books?”

She laughed, sighing deeply. “Well…I think it’s the fact that your children won’t be able to come to you for advice any longer.”

He laughed. “Come on. They’ll have you!”

“Please…Beomie,” She rolled her eyes, “I will never have that same connection with our kids the way you do.” she says sadly.

“And you won’t.”

She pauses, looking slighted.

“You won’t, because my connection with them is different from yours. I’m their father, you’re their mother. There will always be a different dynamic. But I know that they love us and we love them. You have this time now. And for the record, the kids have always appreciated you.”

She gave him a half-smile. “Except Namjoonie.”

He smiled enigmatically. “I have a feeling that things will turn around for both of you. I’ve always said that you two butt heads the most because you’re practically one and the same.”

“How unfortunate for him,” she says wryly.

“Aish…see? What did I tell you?” His laugh proves his point. “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. You’re just as hard on yourself as he is. You’re both your own worst critics.” He smiled with a soft crinkle in his eyes.

She smiles back, not wanting to argue any further.

“Will you be okay without me, yeobo?”

His question catches her off-guard. Her nose stings…her throat, suddenly thick with emotion, but she holds it back. One thing about Lina is that she can halt her tears as quickly as she can cry on command.

“It will be extremely hard but…I’ll be alright. I have to be,” she finished with a whisper, feeling her voice wavering.

He gazed at her reverently. “You’re the toughest person I know.”

“It’s all an act,” she chuckled, dismissing his comment.

He smiled. “But I’m not pretending. You should see what I see.” He struggles to reach up to cup her cheek. She knelt by his bed and leaned into his touch.

“I’m so grateful that you loved me enough to marry me…and gave me my beautiful children.”

She finally lets her tears go, grasping his hand and placing a kiss on it. “I will never love anyone as much!”

Then, without further prompting, she climbs up on the bed next to him and they hold each other. They stayed like this for a while. She was just thankful that she could still feel his heart beating.

She craned her neck to look up at him. “Is there anything else that I can get for you?”

“No. I have everything that I need right here, thank you.”

She smiled and kissed him. Afterwards, he starts to wheeze and goes into a coughing fit. She immediately reached for his cup but there was barely a tablespoon of water in it. She lets him drink it anyway to relieve him–and it does for a bit.

“Can I please have more?”

She’s hesitant to leave him but also doesn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable in case he coughs again. She thought about waking Taehyung down the hall but decides to walk downstairs to refill the drinking cup herself.

“Okay. I’ll be right back.”

She takes a few steps towards the door but he calls to her again.

She turns around, holding onto the doorframe, anticipating another request from him. “Yes, darling?”

“Thank you for loving me.”

His remark warms her heart. “I love you, too, yeobo.”

When she walks out into the hallway, she takes a good look at all of the shut bedroom doors. It was quiet, not eerily, but in a sort of tranquil, almost blissful way. She quietly turns the knob on the first door adjacent to the master bedroom.

In it was Jin and Yoojung. She was tucked tightly in his arms while his head rested on hers. The next door she opened was Namjoon’s room–but in it was YN and her children sleeping in it. Joobin’s head was at YN’s feet while Jooni was curled up over her mom's head--like a cat. YN looked exhausted but still completely content with her children beside her.

The next room was Taehyung’s. He was sprawled out like a starfish. She chuckled softly, stepped inside and picked up the pillow and his blanket that he kicked to the floor. She cradled his head, slid the pillow underneath it and spread the covers over him.

She moves downstairs and into the basement, where Namjoon was snoring loudly. He looked so serene like this–as if he hadn’t been going through hell in the last few months. She brushed his forehead and planted a soft kiss on it.

Even though there was a cloud hanging over her house, she felt a sense of hope. She was prepared to take on her second act–making sure that this family gets through anything.

After she fills her husband’s cup with water, she makes her way back up the steps and back into their room. She rounded the corner of the bed and placed the cup on the rolling table next to him.

“Darling, would you like me to play one of your records to help lull you to sleep?”

She turned around to find that he was already asleep. It was the first time in days where he didn’t need a whole ritual to rest comfortably.

She leaned in, intending to give him a kiss but something in her made her stop short. She squeezed his earlobe gently. It usually made him stir.

He didn’t.

With a shaky breath, she held a trembling finger below his nostrils–she did not feel a waft of air come out of them.

She let out a sob but held her hand to her mouth so as not to wake the rest of the house. At least, not yet. She was angry at herself for leaving his side and letting herself getting distracted. She’d been robbed of his final moments.

But true to form, her husband always shielded her from the bad, as long as he could help it. He only wanted her to enjoy and remember the best moments–just as he had promised her when they got married.

She leaned in and gave him one final kiss, swiping at the tear that dripped from her eyes and onto his cheek.

He always gave–hardly leaving anything for himself. This was the one time that he wanted to do something selfish…under his terms.

“Thank you for loving me, too, yeobo.”

◤Previous | Part 7◥ | Main Fic Masterlist

Thank you for reading!

If you loved it and/or curious to learn more, please comment, reblog, or send me feedback! 📩. I love hearing from readers! If you didn’t like it so much, I would still like to hear about it 💜

Tagging: @internetjunkdrawer @deepseavibez @itdoesntmatterwhy @joeybeanxbts @raplinesmoon @kokoandkookie @ayoo-bangtan @agentsofshields @majamarantha @playmetheclassics @serendididy

#whoisbts #scions x kims jhs reblog

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shina913 · 2 years ago

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Scions, Ch.8a | Kim Line + JHS

Scions, 8a

sci·on | \ ˈsī-ən \ Definition:(1)a descendant(2) a shoot or twig, especially one cut for grafting or planting

✼Scions Masterlist✼

Pairing: Fem!Reader Sister + Kim Brothers; JHS x Fem!Reader

Rating: M (🔞)

Genre: Siblings!AU; Marriage!AU; FWB!AU; exes to ?; Mom!Reader; Brother’s Best Friend; drama; angst; smut; fluff

Warnings: ANGST!!!; DRAMA!!!; multiple POV switches; character death; parenting frustrations; parenting fears; vulnerable confessions; cussing; pining; unrequited love; mentions of divorce/separation; emotional outbursts; mourning (character death); soft sibling moments

Word count: 1.8K+

A/N: First of three mini-updates. This features POVs from OC, Taehyung, and their mom. Thanks for being so patient! Next chapter to come in a couple of days. Thank you to my loves, @internetjunkdrawer and @itdoesntmatterwhy for reading through this angst-fest. I appreciate you both 💜

You wanted the kids settled with dinner before your group left to head down to Hangsang. You went back and forth with the decision to go. Was it right to go out drinking with your brothers and leave your kids behind after you and your husband had just made the decision to split up?

There were a million other thoughts that you wrestled with. But for one night, your mom wanted to absolve you of any guilt that you were feeling. She volunteered to stay back to watch the kids and continued to urge you to spend time with your brothers.

Your sister-in-law, Yoojung, who had been mostly sidetracked by fatigue in the last two days, felt better. She wanted to join in on the fun but decided not to partake in the alcohol in case her stomach bug decided to make a comeback. She volunteered to be the designated driver instead.

“Have any of you seen Jooni?” You called out to nobody in particular when you reached the family room. You checked the backyard, kitchen, bedroom, and bathrooms–no Jooni.

“Namjoonie-hyung?” Taehyung asks while pausing the game he played with his friend, Jungkook.

“No, Jooni.” You bulge your eyes for emphasis, clarifying that you were looking for your daughter, who also happened to be your older brother’s namesake.

“Honestly, noona. Couldn’t you have picked a different, less confusing name for her? Like, I don’t know…Seojin or…Taeyang?” He finishes with a playful grin.

You cocked an annoyed eyebrow at him and he takes the hint that you weren’t in the mood for jokes. Taehyung’s smile fades quickly and he clears his throat. “Uhh…I thought she was—“ He scrambles, pointing his finger from side-to-side in mid-air, actually unsure of which direction his niece went.

“Wait, didn’t she just run past here a second ago?” Jungkook piped up, gesturing down the hallway.

“I saw her go upstairs,” Namjoon interjects as he walks past you to grab something from the kitchen.

“I already looked in the upstairs bathroom and in our room but she’s not there.”

“Have you checked mom’s room?” Jin asks.

Jooni has been temperamental since the service. Even Sam, who was normally able to reason with her couldn’t figure out how to get her settled. She loved your dad, her harabeoji. It was a lot to take in for a 3-year-old, knowing that somebody whom she loved very much wasn’t going to be around anymore.

“Aish…I told her not to bother her.” You grumble in exasperation before trudging up the stairs. “Thanks, oppa,” you called over your shoulder.

“You’re welcome,” Namjoon and Jin say in unison.

******

“Do you really have to leave tonight?” Taehyung asks Jungkook while they resume their gameplay. “Can’t you come out for a couple of drinks?”

“Yeah, I have to because I have to be at the office first thing in the morning.”

Taehyung frowns. “C’mon, man. Everyone’s gonna be there–even Jiminie! We haven’t hung out in a long time. Let’s get fucked up.”

Jimin and Jungkook were his links to his hometown and city life. As many things they all shared in common, Taehyung was the only one who hadn’t established himself in some form of career. This was why they hadn’t had a get-together in a while–both men were understandably busy.

He was mildly aware that asking them both to get drunk was a pathetic way to deal with his grief and forget that his friends were more accomplished than he was.

“Can’t, bro. My boss would kill me if I bailed tomorrow,” Jungkook says apologetically. “We can always hang out another time,” he says in consolation. “Doesn’t Jimin have some sort of medical conference in the city next month? We can link up then.”

“I guess,” Taehyung pouted in mild disappointment. But then catches himself, realizing that he was probably sounding selfish and childish. “No, I’m sorry. I’m being stupid and unreasonable.”

Jungkook pauses the game and calmly turns to his friend. “You’re not. Your old man just died. Nobody acts right when they’re grieving. You deal with it however you need to.”

Taehyung sighed. “I appreciate you coming all the way out here though. I know it wasn’t easy to get out of work.”

Jungkook smiles and hugs his friend tightly. “Ah, come on. You’re one of my best friends. And your parents have been awesome, especially during my couch-surfing days,” he laughs. “Besides,” Jungkook scoffed, “Even if Jiminie and I are there, you’ll probably ditch us anyway.”

“What?” Taehyung’s brows furrowed in confusion.

Jungkook gives him a deadpan look. “Eunhae?”

Taehyung is stumped and unable to give his friend a snarky retort. It makes Jungkook chuckle. “Exactly,” he claims victoriously.

Taehyung smacks his lips and resumes the game. “Whatever, man.”

******

A moody Jooni may not bode well for your mom, who just wanted a bit of quiet to decompress from the day’s activities. Even though she said that she was completely fine watching the kids, you wanted to afford her some space.

She was stoic most of the day. Whenever anybody offered their condolences, she repaid them with a grateful smile, only shedding a tear or two occasionally.

As an experienced actress, your mother has played many roles, expressing every human emotion imaginable. But in the current scene that she's in, there are no lights, cameras, or production crew. She wishes this was all just a dream and longs for a rewrite or another take. She yearns for someone to yell 'cut!'.

Throughout her career, your father was her constant support system. He stood by her and encouraged her. After years of hard work, your mother had only just begun to reclaim the time they had lost.

That opportunity was taken away, leaving her with a sense of regret and sadness. The pain of losing him weighed heavily on her.

She lay on her bed, tears streaming down her face as she whimpered softly. She couldn't imagine a life without him by her side. As she thought about all the memories they shared, she realized that she was half of a whole that would never be again.

“Halmeoni?”

She drew in a long breath and hastily wiped her tears before turning to face the source of the tiniest, sweetest voice.

“Yes, my darling girl?” She finds her granddaughter poking her head through the door. “Do you need something? Come here!” She smiles, waves her over, and pats the empty side of the bed, urging her to come up.

Jooni walks up to her slowly. Your mom sits up to help Jooni climb up. When she’s settled, they snuggle together, giving Jooni a sweet kiss on the crown of her head.

"Were you crying, Halmeoni?" Jooni looks up at her.

After a slight pause, she comes clean. "Yes, I was."

Jooni gives her a wide-eyed gaze. Then, she reaches up to wipe her grandmother’s tear-stained cheeks. "Are they sad tears?" She asks innocently.

Your mom’s chin trembles. "Yes."

“Is it because you miss harabeoji?”

She nods. “Uh-huh. Very much.” She smiles through her answer even though her voice breaks.

Jooni furrows her brows and purses her lips in deep thought before asking, "Do you want a hug?"

Your mom beams and answers without hesitation. "I would love one!"

She goes in to hug Halmeoni tightly; it takes your mom by surprise that such a tiny person can possess so much strength.

"Ooh,” she sighs. “You are the best hugger!"

Jooni smiles shyly at the compliment. "Mommy says she loves my hugs. They make her happy."

"I believe her." Your mom agrees, thinking about how much your children’s hugs gave you comfort on days when you felt alone while you silently struggled through your marriage.

“Now, what are you doing here? Where’s your mommy?” She asks, turning serious.

“She’s downstairs. She told me to wash up for dinner but then I saw you.”

“Oh, honey. You should go eat dinner with your brother. We can have story time when your mom and uncles head out.”

“I know but you looked sad. I wanted to see if you were okay.” Jooni reasons.

“I just needed a little time,” your mom answers.

"I'm not very hungry, halmeoni. Can I please stay here with you?"

Your mom considers the request for a moment before acquiescing. "Okay, but just for a few minutes. I still have to see the adults off later."

Jooni is ecstatic. She jumps up to give her another hug and your mom can't help but smile in return. The two of them embrace tightly, holding onto each other, cherishing this moment.

"It's going to be okay," Jooni says soothingly.

Your mom had been hearing that phrase from everybody all day today. She felt that it was a throwaway sentiment. You couldn't blame her for being cynical. She was grieving.

But somehow, when Jooni says it, your mom is filled with hope and it makes her believe that yes, in fact–things will be okay.

******

When you reach the top floor, you walk down the hallway to find your parents’ bedroom door ajar. You slowly push it open, the only light source coming from your mom’s nightstand.

“Jooni?” You stop when you hear shushing.

Your mom is lying on the bed, holding her pointer finger to her lips while she held a sleeping Jooni, who was curled up next to her.

You point to Jooni, gesturing that you can pick her up and move her into the bedroom to give your mom time to rest. Instead, your mom smiles and shakes her head softly; wordlessly letting you know that she didn’t mind at all.

You watch them for a moment: your mom looking down at Jooni and rubbing her head lovingly.

She was a good grandmother to your children, and despite what she says, you believe she was a good mother.

Of course, there were days when you needed her around, but she couldn't physically be there. Or you wanted to talk to her, but she'd be in the midst of a grueling scene with very short breaks in between, hardly enough time for a phone call where you could cry to her.

No matter where she was, or how much makeup and various wigs she wore, deep down, she was still your mother. She always made sure you and your brothers felt loved and supported.

The men in your family may not have known what you’ve been going through, but your mom did. You didn't have to tell her, but she knew that you needed her.

She spent many late nights on the phone with you, behind your dad's back, comforting and assuring you that you would be just fine without Sam. She didn't push or nag, instead giving you the space to come to your own decision.

As you catch her gaze, you notice the warmth of her eyes inviting you over. Without a word, she raises her free hand to beckon you to lay beside her. You oblige and round the corner, feeling the warm covers beneath you as you lie on the opposite side, so that she is now nestled between you and Jooni. You take in this moment, three generations finding comfort in each other's presence.

◤Previous | Part 8b◥ | Main Fic Masterlist

Thank you for reading!

If you loved it and/or curious to learn more, please comment, reblog, or send me feedback! 📩. I love hearing from readers! If you didn’t like it so much, I would still like to hear about it 💜

Tagging: @internetjunkdrawer @itdoesntmatterwhy

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shina913 · 2 years ago

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Sunshine (A Scions Story) | JHS

✼Scions Masterlist✼

Pairing: JHS x Fem!Reader; Fem!Reader Sister + Kim Brothers

Rating: M (🔞)

Genre: Friends to lovers; idiots to lovers; Sibling’s best friend; KimSiblings!AU; drama; some humor angst; smut; fluff

Warnings: ANGST!!!; DRAMA!!!; sibling bickering; small-town setting; overprotective/overbearing older sibling; lots of crying; vulnerable confessions; cussing; pining; unrequited love; emotional outbursts; oral (mutual); fingering; dirty-talk; breast/nipple play; unprotected sex in a committed, monogamous relationship; ANGST (yep, as if the first mention of it wasn’t enough of a warning)

Word count: 15,280 words

Summary: A look back at how things between you and Hoseok came to be.

A/N: This is a companion chapter to Scions. You could read the published chapters for context but I think that this story can stand alone. I’ve hinted at this relationship a bunch and thought that rather than inserting a bunch of long-ass flashbacks in my main chapters, I would just write a one-off for these two. And I have to say, I was in love with this story so much that I decided to sprinkle in some of my favorite “sibling’s best friend” scenes from popular movies and TV shows. I hope you’ll enjoy those!

AN/2: A bunch of huge time jumps occur throughout this chapter so hopefully it’s not too jarring. I tried to add dividers where applicable. And lastly, thank you to my loves, @internetjunkdrawer and @deepseavibez for getting through this monster chapter and being so encouraging and sharing my enthusiasm for this story! ILY!

Whenever your mom was on break from filming, she would be up early to make you all breakfast, pack your lunches, and drop you all off at school.

One particular day was special. Not only were you expecting your results from the grade acceleration aptitude test that you took to determine whether you can jump from the 2nd grade into the 3rd grade classes with Namjoon; but it was also picture day.

She excitedly put your hair up in a pair of braids, tying little red bows at the ends. You felt really pretty that day.

Taehyung waved goodbye to you and Namjoon before turning to Hoseok, who was already there when you arrived with your siblings. You normally carpooled with him and his mom.

“Buh-bye, Hobi-hyung!” He had trouble saying ‘Hoseokie-hyung’ when he was smaller so ‘Hobi’ was the next best thing. It just stuck.

Jin took your little brother’s hand and walked him to his Kindergarten classroom.

The three of you remained right outside the second and third grade classrooms, waiting for the bell to ring.

Hobi waved ‘hi’ to Namjoon, then he turned to greet you.

“Nice hair,” he remarked.

Before you could answer, Namjoon interjects with a frown. “Ugh. My mom put hair gel on it then brushed it back this morning. I hate it,” he mumbled while scratching his head.

Hobi chewed at his bottom lip and cringed, his eyes shifting from Namjoon to you.

You giggled at your brother. “I think he meant me, dummy!”

“Oh,” Namjoon says, affronted.

“Your hair looks like that character in that book–Little Miss Sunshine!” Hobi smiled.

Namjoon snickered at that. He thought of a big, round ball with braids and tiny hands covering its big mouth.

You felt insecure for a second–wondering if Hobi meant it as a backhanded compliment or–

“I think you look pretty.” Hobi immediately says with a sincere smile, making Namjoon shut up.

Your cheeks flushed, making you shyly fidget with the ends of one of your braids. “T-thanks, Hobi.”

Namjoon’s face soured. “Eeew, do you like her or something?”

Hobi’s eyes widened in a panic, but before he could answer, the bell rang, much to his relief. He and Namjoon walk towards their classroom while you walk across the hall into yours. Before you walk in, you look back and find him giving you a shy smile before he disappears inside.

Hobi steps out of Namjoon’s room for a bathroom break while his friend organizes his Pokémon cards in his binder. Heading down the hallway, he pauses when he catches sight of you as he passes the window–your little spot on the roof.

He walks towards the window, sticks his head out and calls out to you. “Hey, sunshine!”

“Hey, Hobi.” You turned around and greeted him, the sound of him saying his pet-name for you made your heart swell.

“What are you doing out here?” He asks, wearing that same shy smile from years ago.

You chuckle at him. “Nothing. Just…looking up at the stars.”

He laughs. “The stars, huh?”

“Yeah.”

He hums then leans on the window sill. “Need some company?”

Deep down, you’d love for him to sit next to you. You weren’t exactly sure what it was but you always felt safe around Hobi. And… as if you didn’t have more than enough of them, he was like a brother to you.

“Aren’t you and Joon supposed to be playing Xbox or sorting out your Pokémon cards?”

He gives you a half-smile then shrugs. “He’s a little preoccupied with the handbook–trying to organize his cards and figuring out which ones he still needs…which means that I don’t think he’s noticed that I’ve left the room,” he laughs. “I can spend a few minutes with you, though. I mean, if you want?”

“Are you sure?” You knew that he had a fear of heights–you found that out when your family took him to the amusement park recently. It was on one of your vacations while your mom was back in town. With that in mind, you found it strange that he would offer to sit next to you–on the roof.

“Yeah. I-it’s fine,” he tries to sound casual.

“Alright then. Be my guest!” You relented.

He carefully climbs out of the window sill and steps onto the roof tiles. You feel the surface shake a little and his breathing turns a bit uneven after he settles next to you.

You kept your eyes straight up on the night sky, affording him some privacy as he gathered himself, but you were still hyper-aware of his presence. He takes a few deep, shaky breaths to calm himself.

You turned your head to him and smiled. “Are you okay?” You were concerned about him passing out from fear.

He grinned uncomfortably. “Of course,” he says almost immediately. Desperate for a distraction, he cleared his throat. “So…do you do this often?”

“Sometimes,” you say with a hint of nonchalance. Honestly, you did this a lot. Being a teenager had its ups and downs. Having a moment on the rooftop brought some things back into perspective for you.

“I heard your mom’s show got picked up for a full season?”

You nodded wistfully. “Yeah, it’s good. Hopefully that would make her filming schedules more predictable than a movie.”

“That’s cool. Maybe she’ll be home more?”

“I hope so...unless her agent books another project for her,” you sighed heavily, hugging your knees to your chest. “I miss her a lot.”

“I’m sure you do,” he says sympathetically.

You really did miss her…more than usual.

“Yah! There you are! I thought you got lost on the way to the bathroom or something,” Namjoon says.

“Oh…I thought YN could use some company.”

“Oof, better watch yourself, Hobi. You don’t want to make Austin Cheng jealous,” he teases you.

When your mom called yesterday, you dragged the phone all the way back into your room after she spoke to your brothers. You warned them not to pick up the extension.

Once you had a private moment, you told her about a boy you’d been crushing on at school. When she asked who it was, you stopped short because you heard a crackling sound on the other end–a sign that someone–most likely Taehyung–picked up the extension to listen in, so you had to think fast.

Austin wasn’t bad. He was nice; one of those ‘math-letes.’ While most people would think that translates to ‘giant nerd’ it actually meant that he not only excelled in academics but he was an amazing athlete as well.

“Austin Cheng?” Hobi repeats while he eyed you curiously.

“Yeah! It’s why she’s been acting all weird since we got back from our vacation!” Namjoon adds.

But Austin wasn’t really the reason you were acting all stupid…it was just the first name you blurted out while on the phone with your mom. And sure, you thought he was cute and he and Namjoon were also good friends, but you didn’t like him-like him.

“Don’t worry, sis. Austin and I are cool. Although…his personality is a little dry,” he adds flatly. “Anyway, we’ll make sure that he doesn’t try anything crazy on you. Won’t we, Hobi?” He looks to his best friend for support.

“Uh…I…I guess?” Hobi answers slowly, still looking confused.

“Cool! Now that we have that settled, I’ve got the game all set up! You ready?” Namjoon asks Hobi.

“Y-yeah, sure,” he says to Namjoon before turning his attention back to you. “Are you gonna be okay out here?”

“I’ll be fine, Hobi. Have a good night,” you say to him as he steps back into the house. He gives you one final look, his expression was unreadable.

“Good night, YN.”

******

The truth was, since returning from that amusement park trip, you started to look at Hobi… differently. Before that, you have never spent that much time with him…alone.

While your brothers thoroughly enjoyed themselves going on marathon rides, you could tell that Hobi went gray every time he watched them zoom by while he waited in line.

You didn’t call him out but told your brothers you’d sit out the rest of the big rides, pretending to get a headache from all the whiplash. In reality, you felt bad that he had to put on a brave face for Namjoon when all he really wanted were his feet firmly planted on solid ground.

Hobi, seizing the opportunity to skip the rest of the rollercoasters, said that he didn’t want you wandering around the park by yourself so he volunteered to hang out with you.

It turned out to be one of the best days ever. You ate churros, beignets, then went on an astro-blaster adventure, and rode the same teacup ride over and over.

It was so amazing that you decided to fake a neck injury the following day so you could do all of the same things with him again. You stood in line for all of the ‘gentler’ rides, talking and laughing about the most random things. You shared more overpriced snacks together while you strolled around the park. Then when night fell, you stood elbow-to-elbow with him while you watched the fireworks and fountain shows right before closing time.

Something had shifted then because you started to feel awkward around him when you got back. Whether it was at his house or when you carpooled; or when he approached you during lunch–which was something he did on a regular basis–your heart rate picked up and your cheeks would feel flushed.

It felt like torture! The thought of describing it that way sounded dramatic, but as a teen, most things and feelings were described in superlatives.

When Namjoon noticed, you tried to play it cool and dismissed it as typical girl-stuff, which made him back off immediately. You didn’t want to make a big fuss over it. This was Jung Hoseok, for crying out loud! Your next door neighbor whom you’ve known since you were in preschool. The same Hobi you went on family vacations with and would sleep over on a regular basis especially after hours of gaming and watching sci-fi movies.

More importantly, he was also your brother’s best friend!

Your ‘weird’ feelings didn’t seem to affect him. He would still hang out at your house and often sleep over during the weekend. At that point, seeing his face became too much for you that you began to hide in your room to avoid any uncomfortable run-ins when he was at your house.

Once, you made your way into the bathroom to brush your teeth, unaware that it was occupied since the door was cracked open. And then you saw him.

You mumbled some form of apology trying to back away while saying you’d wait until he was done brushing his teeth. You forgot that he and Namjoon were pulling an all-nighter. But instead of letting you leave, he stopped you and mentioned that he could always make room for you by the sink. He also said that it was better for the planet if you just brushed your teeth together.

“You know, I hold my breath for 10 seconds every day to help decrease carbon emissions.”

His comment made you snort and diffused the tension considerably. But because he said it so earnestly, you relented, in an effort to keep things ‘normal’ between you two.

It didn’t take long for you to realize that being trapped in a small space with him was a huge mistake. Every time you glanced up at the mirror, you’d catch him staring at your reflection before he immediately averted his eyes, pretending not to look.

You both carried on like this for what felt like hours…even though it had only been about a minute. You rushed through flossing and blindly dabbed your mouth with a towel so you could scurry back to your room.

But he tugs at your wrist. “Hang on, you missed a spot,” he points out. Before you could figure out what he was talking about, his thumb gently swipes at some leftover toothpaste from the corner of your mouth.

Nervously, you murmured something unintelligible and made a hasty exit to run back into your bedroom, leaving him utterly confused.

******

Somehow this “fake-crush” reveal has thrown off Namjoon’s curiosity, much to your relief. He’s always been persistent

Weeks later, it was Homecoming at school and you wanted to make an effort to get dolled up and look a bit different.

Okay, maybe not exactly different, but more like–a better version of yourself?

“YN! Hurry up!” Namjoon bellows from the bottom of the stairs.

“Geez, okay. I’m coming!” You growled from your room.

Namjoon has been extra “big brother-y” since Jin had gone away to college. He had taken it upon himself to keep you and Taehyung in line.

“Girl, quit fussing!” Naya says as she swats your hand away from your hair, tucking one final bobby pin into your head and smoothing wayward strands with the tip of a rattail comb.

You groan at yourself but give her a grateful, appreciative look. You desperately needed help with your hair tonight and Naya has been offering to give you a mini-makeover for years! She let out a deafening squeal of elation when you finally asked her.

Naya steps back and gives you a once-over. “You look amazing! I really outdid myself!”

You rolled your eyes and laughed. But you had to admit, you looked better than usual. You wouldn’t have been able to manage this on your own. Naya even helped you pick out the perfect dress and shoes, which your mom happily sent money for.

You stood up and looked at yourself in front of your full-length mirror.

It was a floral print, knee-length, spaghetti-strap dress with a tasteful V-neckline. Cute, by your standards. More importantly, you didn’t look like you were trying too hard.

“You look so much like your mom!” She cocked her head to the side and smiled at your reflection dreamily.

Naya would never blow smoke up your ass. She was a great friend.

“Thank you,” you smiled back at her before you distantly heard Namjoon yelling your name again. “Now let’s go before Namjoon’s face melts off.”

You carefully take steps down the stairs in your chunky-heeled booties–which were a sensible two-and-a-half inches high cute but still comfy, as Naya pointed out at the store.

As soon as you reach the bottom of the steps, Hobi coincidentally walks out of the kitchen and into the foyer to grab his car keys by the doorway.

“Hi!” you beamed at him.

At the sound of your voice his head turns in your direction. His mouth falls slightly open at the sight of you. He blinked a few times and stuttered. “Uh…H-hi. W-wow…”

Just then, Taehyung and Jimin walk out from the living room and stop by the bottom of the stairs.

“Oh, you look pretty, noona,” Jimin remarked with a smile, which made Taehyung’s head whip around at his friend. “Bro, calm down! She’s my sister!”

“I didn’t think there was anything wrong with what I said,” Jimin counters. His eyes drift to Hobi, who looks to be stunned, still staring at you. He nudges Taehyung gently and jerks his chin towards Hobi’s direction.

Taehyung stifles a grin. “Hyungie, are you okay?” he asks with a soft chuckle.

Hobi snaps out of it, his eyes wide and flicking back and forth between you and Jimin and Taehyung. “Uh…s-sorry,” he stammered before shifting his attention back to you. “Uhm, y-you look…”

You nervously anticipate his remark until…

“Holy hell! What took you so long?” Namjoon grumbled as he came from the kitchen, with his eyes wide at you.

“Just wanted to look cute!” You snarked while Naya giggled behind you.

“For whom?” He countered.

You shrugged your shoulders, playing innocent, knowing that you’d already achieved the effect that you were going for.

“I think Austin’s definitely going to want to hang out with you tonight,” Naya teases.

After your little white lie about Austin, you decided to strike up a conversation with him to keep the ruse going. As it turns out, his personality wasn’t as ‘dry’ as Namjoon made it out to be. You’ve been talking to him since. And though it wasn’t anything serious, there was still a lot of heavy flirting there–which irked Namjoon.

“Don’t!” Namjoon barked at Naya.

You and Naya scoffed then rolled your eyes at him.

“Why can’t I just look cute for myself? I don’t always have to do things just so a boy can notice me.” Your eyes briefly shift to Hobi, who was still staring at you, before looking back at your brother.

“Hm. Good point,” Namjoon purses his lips. “And for the record, you look beautiful, sis...with or without all that stuff on your face.”

You smiled warmly at your brother. “Thank you, oppa.”

“Agreed,” Jimin adds. “Don’t you think noona looks pretty, Hobi-hyung?” He waggled his eyebrows at him.

“Oh! Uhm…y-yeah...she does,” Hobi says quietly.

Jimin and Taehyung chuckle to themselves.

Namjoon decides to remind everyone of the time. “Alright, alright! We really have to get going. Tae–are you good riding with Jiminie?”

“Yes, hyung.”

“Okay, good. I called dad to let him know we’ll probably be home late. He just told us to have fun and stay safe.”

“It’s a good tip,” Naya comments, winking at you, making you giggle.

Namjoon eyes you and Naya suspiciously. “Just for good measure, we’ll keep an eye on Austin. Right, Hobi?”

Hobi cleared his throat. “Uh, yeah, yeah. F-for sure,” he stuttered.

“Sheesh, calm down, guys. It’s just high school dating,” Naya says in exasperation. “Quit overreacting.“

Taehyung and Jimin look at Hobi, who was uncomfortably rubbing the back of his neck, trying to avoid eye contact.

“Anyway! Ready to go, Hobi?” Namjoon turns to Hobi

“Right…we should go,” Hobi answers hurriedly and proceeds to walk out the door, clutching his keys while the rest of you follow. Namjoon switches the porchlight on before locking the front door.

******

“Uggghhh,” Namjoon turned away growling after seeing you and Austin giggling and whispering into each other’s ears from a distance.

“She’s doing that on purpose because she knows I’m here and I can see them. C’mon, Hobi, switch spots with me!” Namjoon tries to pull Hobi to where he was standing so he wouldn’t have to have a clear line of sight to you and Austin.

Hobi pushes him off and stays in place. “Hell no, man! What makes you think that I want to see that?”

Namjoon’s eyebrows furrowed. “What? It’s not like she’s your sister.”

Hobi scrambles for a valid excuse. “I know that! I–I’m just saying…I don’t want–”

Namjoon interjects. “What do you think Austin sees in her?”

“You’re asking me?” Hobi asks incredulously.

“Yeah.”

Hobi chuckles nervously. “I mean…I don’t know. The better question is, what does she see in him?”

“Well…” Namjoon begins, “He’s smart, plays three sports competitively, speaks four languages, and pretty much has a clear path to any ivy league school in the country. What’s not to like?”

Hobi scoffed in annoyance. “Sounds like you might be interested in him, too?”

Namjoon laughed. “I’m simply stating facts. Logic allows me to look past extraneous details.”

“You just called him a ‘cocky bastard’ the other day,” Hobi deadpanned.

“That’s because I was having a rough morning with college applications and student council stuff...” Then he cleared his throat. “Besides, he had his hands all over my sister during lunch! Hating on the guy she sucks face with is pretty much a natural reaction.”

“I guess that’s valid.” Hobi slowly mumbles as he sips on some punch, wishing that Jimin had gone through with his plan to spike it with alcohol–before Namjoon stopped him.

“But seriously, though. What do you think he sees in her?” Namjoon decides to reiterate his question directly at Hobi.

Hobi sighs uncomfortably, finally turning around to see you and Austin laughing about something.

Then he takes a good look at you, warmth blooming within his chest. “She’s nice. Smart. She’s got a wicked sense of humor. And she’s pretty.”

Namjoon latches onto those last words. “Pretty?” he repeated.

Hobi paused to clear his throat, suddenly remembering who he was talking to. “Y-yeah. You know, she’s not bad looking.”

“Not bad looking?” Namjoon echoed with a slight chuckle.

“What can I say? Your family has good genes,” Hobi says scrambled. “She’s got nice skin!”

“Skin?” Namjoon echoed. “You think Austin is dating my sister because she has ‘nice skin’?”

Hobi realizes that he’s dug himself into a hole that he can’t get out of. He turns to face the opposite way and internally panics. “I-I’m just saying, you know, it could be a contributing factor.”

“Huh.” Namjoon cocked his head sideways. “Do you think YN has nice skin?”

“I mean…” Hobi let out a nervous laugh, “You say it as if I think about it a lot–which–I do not, for the record,” he says defensively.

Namjoon laughs out loud and smacks his friend’s back. “Chill out, dude! We’re just talking here.”

“I know that,” Hobi grimaces. “I’m totally cool!” He turns around again to see you wrapped in Austin’s arms.

******

Hobi walks out of his class with his algebra tutor, Dara, hot on his heels.

“Hoseokie!”

He turns around as she catches up to him. “What’s up?”

Dara had been extra friendly in the last few weeks. She felt all giddy when he asked if she could help him out some days after school with algebra.

“Was there something that we forgot to cover earlier?”

She was sweet, but he wasn’t really interested in her in that way.

“Oh no, it’s not that,” she says shyly. “I was wondering if we could hang out…uhm…” He barely registers what she says because his eyes focus at the end of the hallway where you and Austin were talking. He could see that you were upset. You were gesturing aimlessly with your hands while Austin stood there, mumbling something that made you shut your eyes and pinch the bridge of your nose.

Moments later, he sees Austin exhale, shake his head briefly before walking away from you.

“Hoseok?” Dara murmured, trying to get his attention back.

“Uh, Dara–c-can you hold that thought? I just need to check on somebody…” he trailed off before making a beeline for you.

“Hey, YN–are you okay?”

You look up to find Hobi standing in front of you in a protective stance. “I’m-I’m good.” You mustered a smile, sniffled, and wiped tears away.

“You don’t look like it.”

Your lower lip quivers, as you try your best not to completely break down in front of him.

“Is there anything I can do?” He asked softly.

“C-can you please take me home?” You whispered.

“Of course. I’ll text Namjoon. I’ll let him know that I can circle back to pick him and Taehyungie up later.”

Shit. You forgot about Namjoon. “No, Hobi…that’s okay. I’ll uhm…I’ll ask Naya to–”

“Hey–it’s fine. I’ll take you home. Don’t think anything of it!”

******

You whimpered quietly on the ride home. Hobi didn’t force you to talk about it, and frankly, you didn’t want to hash it all out–especially with him.

Austin’s been insanely busy with his college applications and campus tours. He’s also been in an intensive training program for his violin lessons as he was planning to double-major in music and engineering.

He didn’t have much of a choice since his parents wanted him to attend the best university in the country. It wasn’t like he had to try that hard…but it was still putting a strain in your relationship. It was fun for the first couple weeks until his schedule was packed and you saw less of each other.

Even though you didn’t tell Hobi that, Namjoon had mentioned it to him in passing since he noticed that you weren’t on the phone with Austin as much in recent days. Your sour mood was also a good indicator.

You vaguely hear Hobi angrily muttering under his breath.

“You know what? If I was him, I would have made time for you. In fact, I would always make time for you. If I was him, I’d be like—screw violin classes, I’d rather go see that new Marvel movie with my girlfriend!”

You sniffled, holding your tongue while you listened to him ramble on until he pulled up in front of your house.

“There’s so much more to life than trying to get into a top university. I mean…shit, we’re in high school! If I was him, I’d be enjoying whatever’s left of my childhood. Maybe fall in love with the girl next door or…” he stops short.

Latching onto his last words, you turn your head to him.

His eyes widened and he immediately switched tact. “I’m just saying that, if I were in his place—“

Exasperated and tired, you snapped. “You know, if you wanted to be in his place, then you should have just done that to begin with!”

His brows furrowed in shock. “YN…wh…I-I…” he stumbles on his words.

You cut him off. “A girl can only wait for so long, Jung Hoseok!” You nearly take the car door off its hinges, practically kicking it open then slamming it shut as hard as you could before storming off into your house.

Utterly dumbfounded, Hobi stares wide-eyed at the empty walkway to your front door, wondering what the hell all that was about.

This was the first time you ever lashed out on him. You always got along well and never bickered like you did with your brothers. He wasn’t exactly sure of what he did to be on the receiving end of your ire but he knew that he couldn’t settle until he made things right with you.

******

Hobi walks out of his house to take out the trash when he sees you sitting on the rooftop while you read a book.

He walked across the street and stopped right below where you sat and called out to you.

“Hey. Can we talk?”

You lower your book and look down towards where he stood. “What for?”

“I…I just wanted to…fix whatever I messed up today. It’s been bugging me all afternoon.”

You let out a huff.

“Are you mad at me?” He wondered out loud.

You sighed heavily. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it,” you say dismissively before raising the book to your eyes again–trying to hide the embarrassment in your face.

He scoffed. “C’mon, YN. We’ve never fought like that. Or…” he stopped to think, “I don’t know. Was it a fight? I’m not really sure.”

“It’s okay, Hobi. We’re fine! Just forget what I said!” You say evenly, still hiding your face.

He didn’t answer after a few beats of silence, you hoped he would just go back inside his house and forget you ever sort-of confessed that you liked him.

Next thing you knew, you heard a rustling by the side of your house–it was Hobi climbing up to the roof using the trellis and drain pipe.

“Oh my god! What do you think you’re doing?” You gasped, scared the pipe might break off and he’d fall and seriously injure himself.

“We’re going to talk, if it’s the last thing I do!” He heaves himself up on the roof, almost forgetting about his acro- and basophobia.

“Hobi, there’s nothing to talk about–”

“Why did you say what you said to me earlier?” He asks calmly while he sits next to you.

You play dumb. “Say what?”

“You know what I’m talking about,” he says firmly, keeping his eyes on you.

You look away from him, feeling flustered. “It was nothing. I was just pissed at Austin, that’s all.”

“If it’s nothing, then why can’t you look at me when you say it.”

“I just…” you sighed in frustration before turning your attention back to him. ”I–”

His face was close to yours–too close. It made your pulse race. Your mouth went dry and breathing was ragged.

“You just–what?”

You tried to form words in your brain but they just wouldn’t come out. All your sass out the window. But you hang onto your last shred of self-preservation. You scoffed, shaking your head. “It’s nothing, Hobi. It’s stupid. Can we just drop it? I’m sorry I flipped out on you,” you mumbled, while your head hung low.

He groans, running his fingers through his hair in exasperation. He bends his knees and rests his elbows on them.

“Want to hear something stupid?”

You turned your head to regard him quietly.

“When you said that you liked Austin…I…” He chuckles, “My first thought was: this is someone who deserves to be with YN. He’s athletic, ivy league-bound, his parents are rich…I can totally see the appeal.”

You stared at him while he kept his head down, picking at some roof tile whose edge was sticking out a bit.

“Then I thought…” He sighed, “There’s no way I’d ever be able to stand up to that.”

You gasped softly. Did you hear him right?

He peered up carefully at you. “I’m just the kid next door,” he shrugged.

You both silently stared at each other.

“Hobi…”

“Funny how things shift after you’ve been rescued from crazy-ass amusement park rides,” he said quietly.

Your eyebrows knitted, then seconds later, your mouth falls open at his confession.

He scoffed and smiled at you. “I did say you were going to hear something stupid, right?”

“W-why didn’t you say anything?”

“I just didn’t want to be the brother’s weirdo best friend trying to sabotage his sister’s relationship,” he uttered.

His eyes turned downcast. “I mean…what did I have to offer anyway?” He continued, ignoring your question. “We’ve known each other for…ages! We grew up together. You’ve seen snot dripping out of my nose and watched me do pretty stupid shit,” he laughed wryly.

“Everything about me just screams perpetual friend-zone.” He then looked up at you, his eyes meeting yours again. It made your heart crumble that you both had felt the same way about each other the whole time and were both afraid to tell the other how they felt.

You chewed at your bottom lip before speaking. “Hobi, I love that we’re great friends and the fact that we grew up together…it means I know you inside-out. I know that you’re loyal and trustworthy. And…” You sighed, trying to calm your heart beating out of your ears. “I wish that I hadn’t been an idiot and just told you that I liked you, too.”

He chuckled. “Don’t mess with me! I’m already freaking out at how high up we are and that I could slide off your roof any second!”

You laughed. “I’m not! I…thought it was just some stupid crush at first and that I’d get over it but…I really like you. I just had no idea if you felt…the same.”

“Guess we’re both idiots, huh,” he says outright with a grin.

You laughed together.

Once he calms down, he reaches up to touch your cheek. The small gesture sends a warm feeling coursing through your chest. “I hate that he made you cry.”

You scoffed, shaking your head, eyes flicking downward.

But he tilts your chin up so you could meet his eyes. “That won’t happen under my watch,” he says earnestly.

You stared at each other for what felt like ages. You’d known each other for so long; seen each other in their worst, ugliest, most embarrassing moments that you would relentlessly tease each other about. And yet, at this point in time, you both found those to be the most endearing thing; realizing that there wasn’t anything that neither of you could hide from each other. There was nobody around here that needed to be impressed.

“Are you going to kiss me now, Hoseok?” You ask impatiently.

He narrowed his eyes, feigning annoyance all while trying to stifle a smile. “Can you not mess up my game right now?”

You rolled your eyes and groaned at him. “Who’s playing games? Just shut up and ki–”

And he sure did.

Although this was the first time you had kissed him, it felt oddly familiar. It was as if your lips were perfectly molded to his; as if you’d always been meant to kiss them. Your belly fluttered and your heartbeat thrummed in near-perfect synchronicity to his.

You both smile as you pull away from each other.

“I can’t tell you how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” he says quietly.

You chuckled softly. “Better late than never, right?” He laughs in response. “Aw, man…Namjoonie should find this interesting,” he muses.

You inhale sharply at the mention of your brother’s name. “A-actually…can we not tell Joon first?”

“Huh?”

“I mean…he’s already kind of pissed at Austin and told me that he basically ripped him a new one before leaving school. And he said something about keeping a really close eye on the next guy who tries to get with me,” you grimaced. “I just thought, to be on the safe side…maybe we should wait a bit.”

He cocked an eyebrow at that. After you stormed off this afternoon, Hoseok drove back to school to drive Namjoon and Taehyung home. He didn’t really talk about Austin but he looked visibly irate.

“How long do you think we should wait?” He asks with apprehension.

“A few days maybe? He’s also stressed about student council stuff. I just want to wait until that calms down a bit.”

He’s tentative about it at first since he and Namjoon practically talked about everything. But he thought back to lunchtime when his friend was angrily ranting about one of the student council members for slacking on the job.

“You know what? You’re right. Let’s wait a few days and let’s gauge his mood and we can tell him together?” He suggested.

“Good idea!” You concurred, making him smile again.

“Would it be weird if I kissed you again?”

You giggled. “No, because I was going to ask you the same thing.”

You both laughed then his face softened. He cupped your face and slowly closed in to press another kiss on your lips.

******

You and Hobi tried to be slick about it but your dad knew that something was up. He caught Hobi climbing down from your window one night as he was coming back from the restaurant.

You thought that your dad had turned in for the night when you gave Hobi the all-clear to come hang out. But he suddenly received a security alert on his phone so he had to drive back to the restaurant to make sure that nobody had broken in.

“It’s amazing what a couple days in an amusement park can do,” he commented the next day, while sipping on his coffee.

He wasn’t mad. In fact, he encouraged Hobi to exit the front door next time. You guiltily confessed that you hadn’t told Namjoon yet and since his room was right across from yours, the window guaranteed your secret.

“Princess–give the poor kid a break. He’s terrified of falling!”

“I know that but…I think he’s more afraid of Namjoon finding out?” You countered.

Sighing, your dad offered to prop up his ladder by the side of the house so Hobi wouldn’t have to keep hanging onto the rain gutter for support.

Taehyung, on the other hand, caught both of you stealing kisses in the kitchen during a random movie night with Namjoon.

“Oh, chill out! I saw you guys kiss on the rooftop that night,” Taehyung said nonchalantly while he sipped on his orange soda. Being the youngest had its advantages.

“I think it’s great!” He quipped. Aside from getting away with a few things, he sometimes slipped in and out of the room unnoticed.

“I wouldn’t wait too long to tell Namjoonie-hyung, though,” he remarked ominously before walking away. “He might get upset.”

******

Another day, another morning with Hobi sneaking out of your house. Namjoon went out for an early bike ride that day so Hobi was able to walk out of the front door.

He steps out but turns back around while you hold onto the door jamb. “I’ll call you later?” He whispers.

“Okay,” you smiled dreamily before he pressed a lingering kiss to your lips. Before your kiss gets deeper, you pull away from him. “Better hurry before Joon gets home.”

He gives you one final peck before he crosses the street and back to his house. After one final wave, you shut the door quietly.

“Good morning,” says a deep, mischievous voice.

Your forehead prickles in a panic. You thought that you and Hobi were completely alone and up before anybody else in this house. You whip your head around and are shocked to find Jin, who was standing by the basement door with a coffee cup in his hand and a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Oppa! W-what…what are you doing here?” It sounded like a dumb question as soon as the words left your mouth.

He chuckled. “Last I checked, I thought I still lived here.” He shuts the basement door and walks towards the kitchen.

You shook your head, trying to shuffle your thoughts around so they could come out more logically. You nervously walk after him. “N-no, I just meant–I-I thought you had midterms and that you weren’t planning on coming home this weekend?”

“Well, we had a massive power failure on campus so...while the admin is still trying to clean that up, our midterms have been pushed back to next week. I thought I’d come home to get some laundry done, maybe surprise you guys. I didn’t realize that I was in for one, too.”

“Oh my god, oppa–” you said, mortified. “H-how much did you see?”

“Enough,” he says flatly while refilling his coffee cup before turning back to face you. “How long has this been going on?”

“A few weeks,” you mumbled.

He eyed you silently for a minute. “Shit, took you guys long enough!” He roared in laughter.

“Y-you’re not mad?” Your dad and Taehyung knew but you weren’t sure about Jin. He hovered just as much as Namjoon did when he detected boys sniffing around. But since he’s been away at college, you didn’t think much about how he’d react.

He exhaled dramatically. “You know, I’ve watched the way Hoseokie has looked at you all these years. I didn’t think he had it in him to ever make a move,” he chuckled again. “What does Namjoonie think?”

“Uh…” You internally panic, “We haven’t told him yet, oppa. So please–don’t–”

“Geez…calm down!” He laughed, “I was just asking!”

“I told Hobi that we just need to find the right time. He’s been feeling some pressure at school with college applications…his girlfriend,” you mumbled. Namjoon hadn’t been with his girlfriend that long but she was a bit high-maintenance and the stress of all that has led him to take more bike rides during the weekends.

Jin laughed again while picking up his mug. “Say no more! Your secret’s safe with me. But uh…let me know when you plan on telling Joon.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “Why?”

“I wanna see how fast he can make Hoseok run across town,” he chuckled, drinking his coffee.

******

“Hey!”

“Hi,” you beamed back at Hobi. You kept a safe distance, in case anybody was watching, while he opened the car door for you.

You climbed into the back seat while you waited for your brothers. Taehyung said that he was talking to his teacher to try and get some extra work to raise his D to a C in Chem class. Namjoon, on the other hand, was wrapping up a quick student council meeting to discuss final details for prom night.

“Aren’t you on the committee this year?” Hobi asks as he slides back into the driver seat.

You leaned forward, resting your elbows on both sides of the front seats. “Yeah, but I have all my ducks in a row, that’s why I got to leave early. Namjoon wanted to talk about the faculty chaperones. I guess we need a couple more so he’s trying to delegate.”

Hobi laughed. “He was made for this job.”

“Oh, I know,” you sighed. “I almost dread what kind of person he’s going to morph into by the time graduation rolls around. He’s trying to oversee the yearbook committee, too.” You clicked your teeth, “But, I guess some people just thrive on that type of pressure.”

He groaned. “Not too stressed, I hope. I really want us to talk to him soon–at least before this weekend. I don’t want him to be all shocked that we’re going to prom...as a couple.”

You sighed. “Well, I guess…” you sighed again, “If he was in a shitty mood, we could still try to play it off as if we were going as friends?” You squint one eye at Hobi, unsure of what kind of headspace Namjoon would be in this weekend. You and Hobi were tired of sneaking around behind his back and he was feeling extra guilty about lying to his best friend about skipping their game nights to hang out with you–in your bedroom, across the hall from him.

He chuckled. “We could go as friends but…what if I wanted to hold your hand or pull you closer when we dance?” He leaned in further, “Or…kiss you?”

You crack a smile so wide, your face nearly splits in half. “Hobi…”

“What? Couples make out at prom…and…stuff.”

“Stuff?”

“Yeah…” He lowered his voice, his face inching closer to you until the tip of his nose touches yours. “You know…stuff.”

“You’d like to do stuff with me?”

“Only if you’re okay with it.

You looked out the windshield to make sure that Namjoon wasn’t walking down towards the van yet. When the coast was clear, you smiled against Hobi’s lips. “Can you settle for a kiss for the time-being?”

“Always.”

His kiss was tender–all of his kisses were. It was as if he took the utmost care not to bruise somebody he thought about so delicately–even though you were anything but. He just wanted to make sure that you were handled with great care…and that he deserved to be the one to do so.

Little did you know, while you were both lost in your stolen moment, Namjoon stood a few feet away, catching you in the act.

******

Namjoon is quiet the whole ride, which you found very strange.

Normally, he would always joke around; talk about the last student council meeting; or spout some random factoid of the day. Today, there was none of that. He just stared out the window, with his elbow on the passenger door while his chin rested on his hand.

You, Taehyung, and Hobi continued to laugh about something that happened at the cafeteria during lunch – no smartass quips from Namjoon.

His jaw was clenched from the moment he got in the passenger seat, right up until Hobi makes that final turn into your street.

Hobi pulls the car by the curb, leaving the engine on to let you all off before he makes that sharp turn into their driveway across the street. You thought it was really attractive whenever he did it in one swift move…which was pretty much all the time.

“Alright, see you tomorrow, guys.” Hobi says with a smile. He glances up at the rearview mirror at you and you smile back at him. You distantly hear Namjoon’s teeth click in his mouth.

“Thank you, Hobi. See you tomorrow.” You reach around from behind the driver seat and give his shoulder a squeeze. Something you had done many times before.

Namjoon catches a glimpse of the gesture and tenses up further. “Taehyung-ah, get out of the car.”

The rest of you look at each other in confusion. You weren’t sure where Namjoon’s sudden hostility was coming from. Maybe his meeting didn’t end so well?

“H-hyung?” Your little brother asks tentatively, making sure that he heard Namjoon right. Taehyung was seated behind him so he couldn’t tell if he was being serious.

“Did I stutter?” Namjoon snaps again.

“Uh…o-okay.” Taehyung keeps his head down, grabs his backpack, then exits the car to walk up the path to your front door.

You make a grab for the car door but Namjoon stops you. “No, you stay,” he says gruffly.

“Excuse me?” You sassed.

He turned his body toward the backseat and looked you straight in the eye. “I said, stay, Kim YN-ah!” He barked.

It made you gasp. That was usually Jin’s line. Namjoon very rarely used that ‘older brother’ tone on you.

Hobi’s brows knitted for a second but he relaxes his features, to try to break the tension. “Namjoonie, what’s up with—“

“What do you think you’re doing, Jung Hoseok?” His glare stops Hobi in his tracks.

This confuses you even further. What crawled up his ass today?

“Joon, what are—“

“Are you trying to fuck with me, Hoseok-ah?”

Hobi is taken aback by his question. “Namjoonie, I don’t understand—“

“I saw you at the parking lot earlier…touching my sister!” Namjoon’s eyes look like they’re about to fire laser beams at his friend.

Your mouth falls open, head prickling while your mind races, flashing back to the little moment that you and Hobi shared earlier. A moment that you both thought was private and hidden enough as you waited for Namjoon and Taehyung.

“Joon!”

Namjoon continued his ranting, completely ignoring you. “What happened to our bro-code, man? My sister is off-limits!”

You scoffed at your brother. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Be quiet!” Namjoon bellows at you, making your shoulders jerk.

Hobi’s face turns into a look of concern. He was afraid of this. He knew that he shouldn’t have let things get this far without telling his best friend. “Namjoon, it’s not what you think. YN and I, we—“

“No-no-no-no…” He lets out a humorless chuckle. “There is no ‘we’ between you and my sister. You and I agreed—“

“Excuse me but your sister is right here, and I have a name!” You exclaim angrily, having had enough of being referred to in the third person. “You keep talking about me as if I was invisible! What the fuck!”

“Watch your language!”

You scoffed and rolled your eyes at Namjoon. “Don’t play the ‘oppa’ trump card on me, Namjoon. It doesn’t suit you.”

“I am still older than you, YN-ah.”

You roll your eyes again. “Please–just stop–”

“Namjoonie–we wanted to tell you sooner, I swear,” Hobi finally says.

There was a long, silent pause–only filled by the sounds of the idling engine and Namjoon’s heavy breathing.

“Then why didn’t you?” Namjoon kept his voice low but it still had an edge to it.

Hobi opens his mouth to try to reason with his friend but you interject. “Because I told him to hold off on it. We just wanted to find the right moment.”

Namjoon pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to rein in his unreasonable anger. “I never would have thought–my best friend and my sister!” He shakes a clenched fist in mid-air.

“We didn’t plan on this happening. It just…kind of did.” You pulled the sassiness back and soften your tone.

“And you both decided to just mess around behind my back?”

Hobi finally turns the engine off. He took in a sharp breath before he lifted his chin to look Namjoon in the eye. “Namjoonie, I’m not messing around!” He says defensively. Your ears started to heat up and your heart pounded. You’ve never seen Hobi and Namjoon talk to each other like this. They’ve bickered and fought over trivial things like Pokemon cards or someone not returning the other’s Nas or Tupac CD. But at the end of the day, they always forgot about it and moved on as if nothing happened.

“I would never ever do that…not with her. I…” He paused for a beat to steady his breathing. “I’m in love with her, bro.”

You gasped softly. It was the first time he had ever said the words. Although his actions were more than enough to show you, hearing the words escape his lips felt near-euphoric.

Namjoon’s features soften. Suddenly, the urge to rip his friend’s head off was starting to fade.

Hobi turns his body to glance back at you and reaches for your hand. You interlace your fingers with his. “I’m sorry. I…didn’t plan on telling you like this but–” He smiled softly. “I love you,” he says evenly and confidently.

“Y-you’re in love with her?” Namjoon asks, still in disbelief.

Hobi kept his eyes on you. “Yeah. I have been, for a while,” he says in earnest. “I’m sorry it took me so long to say it.”

Your heart soars at his untimely confession but it didn’t matter. You loved him, too... so much…and for so long. You grinned at Hobi and couldn’t help but reach up to touch his cheek with your free hand.

Namjoon squirms at the sight of you looking at Hobi lovingly. He growls annoyingly. “Yaahh!!! What the fuck? I can’t believe this! How the hell did this happen?”

You give Namjoon a deadpan look. “Look, Joon–does it matter?” You turned your head back to Hobi. “I love him, too. And besides, dad and mom are okay with it. Jin-oppa and Tae are cool with it–”

“Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait–” Namjoon cuts you off. “You mean to tell me–that I am the last person to find out about this?”

You and Hobi grimace at each other, guilt painted all over your faces.

“I–I can’t believe this,” Namjoon says, sounding defeated. All that barking from earlier had been reduced to soft puppy-like whines. Regret eats away at you further. You and Namjoon were the closest out of all of your siblings. You practically shared everything together–whether by choice or otherwise. It was that openness between you two that strengthened your bond.

But since getting into a relationship with Hobi, you had been more secretive. Even though you meant well and fully intended on coming clean to him, you felt sorry for lying to him. And although half of your fears were warranted–based on his intense reaction earlier, you still felt bad.

You released Hobi’s hand and scooted closer to your brother. “Joon…I’m sorry for not telling you sooner. It wasn’t Hobi’s fault. I told him that we should hold off on telling you. I just…I wasn’t sure how you’d react and–well…truthfully, I didn’t want you to murder my boyfriend.”

He winces at the sound of the term. Your ‘boyfriend.’ Hobi was no longer a friend who happened to be a boy–oh, no. He was a boyfriend. He shuddered at the thought. Just when he was getting used to the idea of you dating. He wished Jin was here to back him up.

“Was Jin-hyung pissed?”

You bit your lip guiltily and shifted in your seat. “Uhm…n-not exactly.”

“What do you mean?” Namjoon asked.

“H-he…he said that…he wanted to be here when I told you...And he wondered how fast Hobi could run.”

Namjoon’s eyebrows furrowed at that. He thought Jin would have a stronger reaction since he almost blew his gasket when he caught his varsity teammate chatting you up right before a game nearly two years ago.

You and Hobi almost jump up on your seats when Namjoon bursts out laughing hysterically. You think maybe the shock had gone straight to his brain and he had started to lose his mind.

“I…I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” He chokes out after he calms down from all of the laughing. “I just feel like I’m having a Ross Gellar moment here.”

Namjoon loved his ‘Friends’ references. If there was an opportunity to insert it at any point during a conversation, he would. It somewhat calmed you down.

“I meant what I said, Joon,” Hobi says, turning serious. “I love YN. I would never do anything to hurt her.”

Namjoon sighed, shifting his eyes between you and Hobi. “Damn. My best friend…and my sister,” he shook his head gently then chuckled.

You and Hobi took it as his blessing. You scoot over closer to Hobi, smiling and gazing at each other, as if a giant boulder had been lifted off your chests. You touched your nose to his.

“Yah!” Namjoon squawks, interrupting your moment with Hobi. “I may be cool with both of you dating but please…I am begging you not to do all that,” he gestures his hand aimlessly at both of you, “...In front of me! Or…at least keep it to a minimum.”

You roll your eyes at Namjoon. “Fine. Now can you please get out of the car so I can kiss my boyfriend goodbye?”

Namjoon starts to gag at the thought. “Fuck, man,” he says under his breath before he pulls at the car door’s latch to open it.

“By the way, he’s coming over after dinner to watch a movie with me tonight.”

Namjoon groans. “As long as you both watch in the living room.” He steps out onto the curb.

You called out from the open window in the van. “Well, it’s a nice change of pace since we usually just watch in my room,” you laughed.

Namjoon lets out another pained cry, clutching his ears as if they started to bleed.

Once your front door shuts, you climb over to the front seat next to Hobi, still giggling.

“Don’t torture him, YN.” Hobi says, trying to defend his friend.

“I know, I know. I’m just…happy that we don’t need to sneak around anymore.”

Hobi sighed, seemingly content. “Yeah.” He leaned in closer to you. “But if I’m being honest, I’ll miss the whole ‘sneaking around’. It was kind of exciting.” He grinned mischievously at you before cocking an eyebrow knowingly.

“Jung Hoseok!” You grinned at him, suddenly feeling flustered.

He chuckled. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Actually, it’s a nice thought to leave from the front door rather than climbing down your window. I almost broke my ankle that one night!”

You laughed at him. “I’m sorry, jagiya.”

He laughed in return. “I know, I know. I meant what I told him, though. I love you, sunshine.” He touched his finger to your cheek, making your eyes close instinctively at the contact.

When you opened them, you smiled warmly at him. “And I love you, too.” At the sound of that, he closed the gap between you two to press his lips against yours. He cupped your jaw and you melted into him. Your kiss wasn’t frantic or rushed because you weren’t trying to hide from anybody. It was all out in the open.

You loved Hobi and he loved you. And you were happy to show everyone that.

High school graduation and the next four years of college were not without its challenges. But anytime things got difficult, you and Hobi always had each other to lean on. Namjoon had his own thing going–doubling back between university and traveling into the city to send demos and mix-tapes.

Taehyung was off partying God-knows-where, enjoying his college years, and Jin was back home helping your dad at the restaurant. Things between him and Yoojung were getting more serious–they had just moved in together. Your parents thought that an engagement would be on the horizon soon.

You and Hobi would talk about the future, too. Even though graduation was several months away, you were intent on securing a job in the city. There were more prospects for you there and opportunities for growth in your chosen industry: fashion.

“So, I have a couple of internships that I applied to. I should be hearing back from them in the next week or so. Have you looked into those other places that I emailed to you?”

You looked up at Hobi from your laptop screen. He was busy polishing some glasses behind the bar.

“Jagi?”

“Huh?”

“I asked if you checked out those places that I forwarded to you. They’re big accounting firms in the city and are accepting at least 5-10 interns this year.”

“Yeah, I did. I reached out and sent my application in.”

You smiled at him. Hobi dragged his feet with his internship applications but you gently nudged him–by sending him a few potential companies that he could work at. Hobi decided to major in accounting, just like his mom. He was already getting some real-time training in bookkeeping when he helped out at Hangsang, the local pub his family owned and ran.

“You know, if you do well, they’ll hire you directly. You’d be set right before graduation,” you say encouragingly.

“You don’t have to say all that. If I get it, I get it. Otherwise, I can just go and find a job elsewhere.”

That made you frown. For months, you and Hobi have talked about moving to the city together after graduation. He never really expressed any misgivings every time you brought it up. But as your senior year at university drew to a close, it seemed as if he wasn’t so keen on the idea.

“Don’t think like that, jagi. You have to be positive! You have such a great personality and you’re so smart. I’m sure you’ll ace the interview.”

He gave you a small smile. “Well, if my girlfriend believes in it then, who am I to question it?”

You beam at him then lean over to peck him on the lips. When you pull away, he’s smiling but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“Is there something else bothering you, jagi?”

He sighed. “I’m just nervous, I guess. We’re far from home and we won’t know anybody there…”

“Namjoonie will be there,” You say in an attempt to console him.

“I know, but he’ll be doing his own thing. It’s not like he can hang out with us every single day.”

“Then we’ll just have to make new friends!”

He looked at you ruefully. “What’s wrong with the friends that we have?”

“That’s not what I mean, Hobi. What I’m saying is that we should make more friends…in addition to the ones that we have. It’s all part of getting acclimated, you know?”

Hobi, although incredibly outgoing once you got to know him, was painfully shy when it came to meeting new people. He always kept with the same inner circle and rarely ventured out. You knew that this was a stretch for him.

You cupped his face and gazed at him lovingly. “Jagi, it’s going to be difficult. I’m fully aware of that. I’m scared, too–I don’t know how things will play out for us. But you know what? Knowing that we’re doing this together? That’s all that I need to help me get through anything.”

He stared back at you, his thumb gently brushing over your eyebrow.

“Can we please just try? Please, Hoseokie?” You gave him your best puppy-eyes.

After a few beats, he nods softly. You beam with excitement and pepper him with kisses.

“Okay, okay,” he chuckles. When you calm down and pull away from him, his expression turns sober again.

“And if it doesn’t work out?”

You pursed your lips. Truthfully, you didn’t want to think of a scenario where things didn’t work out. But because you love him, you didn’t want him to be unhappy. He was already stepping out of his comfort zone for you but only with the assurance that you’d be in this together. You owed him that much.

You looked him straight in the eye. “Then we’ll come back. We’ll put our roots down here.”

He touched the tip of his nose to yours. “Okay then,” he acquiesced and smiled more broadly this time.

You smiled back and kissed him. “I love you, Hoseok.”

“Love you, too, Sunshine.”

After a day of moving, you and Hobi finally settle into your new place in the city. Once the moving truck was empty, you repaid your family with some delicious, extra greasy takeout food while Hobi picked up two 6-packs of beer from the liquor store around the corner from your building.

It was just a little past 8 PM and Jin, Taehyung, Jimin, his dad and your dad just left to drive back home. Namjoon left slightly earlier because he had a meeting with a music producer the next day.

The whole process went pretty smoothly except when your furniture got delivered. The couch was good, the dining table was good, but when it came to your bed, the company seemed to have shipped it with the wrong frame. They apologized and promised to deliver it in two days since it had to come from a different warehouse.

“I mean…I guess we’ll be okay for a couple days?” You stood in your bedroom, hands on your hips, staring at the floor, where the mattress currently laid. You wondered if it was worth putting sheets on it now or you’d be better off sleeping on the couch–which had a pull-out bed.

You felt Hobi’s hands wrap around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder. You instinctively lean your head back to him, fatigue, suddenly hitting you.

“I don’t mind roughing it for a couple days.”

His comment made you chuckle. You were hardly ‘roughing it.’ You got lucky scoring the apartment. Not only was it in a decent neighborhood but it was rent-controlled, too. Your dad beamed with pride at you.

“So…” he began. “Do you want to christen it?”

You snorted. “Are you kidding? With the mattress on the floor?”

“Oh, c’mon,” he says slyly, “At least it’s on a mattress and not the backseat of my mom’s minivan?”

You roll your eyes at the reminder of where you had sex the first time. “Sure. And the sound of plastic sheeting crinkling under my naked body has always been a little kink of mine.” There may have been a mattress but you hadn’t unwrapped it yet since the frame hadn’t been delivered.

He laughed out loud. “That’s a very solvable problem.” He leaves the room quickly and is back in a few seconds with one of your throw-blankets. He quickly unfurls it and spreads it across the top.

He crouched down to sit on the edge of the mattress before scooting back to stretch out fully, putting his hands behind his head and laying on them.

“See? Nice and comfy already!”

You smiled. Leave it to him to always be solution-focused and see the bright side of things.

With a sigh, you bent down to crawl up to the mattress. He pulled his left hand from under his nape to stretch it across the empty space. You rested your head on it and snuggled up next to him. He pulls you in closer and plants a chaste kiss to your forehead.

You crane your neck up slightly to look at him. “Are you happy, jagi?” You ask him quietly. Before you left home, he had some reservations about moving away.

His thumb gently brushed over your eyebrow while he regarded you intently. “Wherever I’m at, as long as I’m with you–I’ll always be happy.”

“I love you, Hobi.”

“I love you too, sunshine.” He tilts your chin up, lowered his lips to yours and kissed you. It was soft, almost leisurely at first. It wasn’t long before you were licking and moaning into his mouth while his tongue also fought its way into yours.

You moved your body closer to his, feeling his hardon pressing against your center. You grind onto it, making him groan into your mouth.

He withdrew himself from you to pull his shirt off. You sit up and do the same then reach behind you with one hand to unclasp your bra.

He cursed under his breath once your breasts came into view.

Despite the humidity in the room, your nipples tightened into hard points. With a soft grunt, he sinks his mouth onto one to suck on it. You let out a moan when he flicked your nipple with the tip of his tongue. You feel your panties soak through in an instant.

“Hobi…I want you now,” you begged.

“Nah-uh. You know I love to take my time with you,” he crooned.

“But I’m ready,” you whined petulantly while dragged his mouth down your sternum, placing soft kisses on your ribcage.

“Just let me savor you first,” he says in between kisses. “And when I’m done, I promise I’ll give you what you want.”

You groan in frustration but in the back of your mind, you knew he was good for it—especially when he paused right below your navel, tugging on the waistband of your bottoms and underwear, peeling them off you, and tossed them somewhere on the floor.

Your thighs parted, as if they had a mind of their own, in anticipation of what would happen next.

He slots himself between you, resting the backs of your legs on his shoulders to open you up wider for him.

He swipes your clit with the tip of his nose to take a whiff of you, making your breath hitch in response. It didn’t matter if you were covered in dried up sweat from moving and unpacking boxes all day today. Your scent always turned him on. Something about the mixture of your pleasure and arousal made him feel euphoric.

He brushes your clit with his fingertips prolonging the agony for you, before pushing two fingers into your cunt.

“You’re all soaked,” he purred while simultaneously sliding his fingers in and out.

“I told you I was ready,” you mewled while you bucked your hips against his hand. “Stop playing with me and just fuck me, please!”

He chuckled, ignoring your pleas. “Always impatient, huh? You know I always want to make you cum first.” With that, he withdrew his fingers. You watched him lick them, and you would have cum right then.

Then he lowered his head again, dragging his tongue against your folds. You hissed through your teeth and tugged at his hair when he wrapped his lips around you, sucking and fluttering his tongue on your clit.

Your pulse quickened, feeling your climax building up within you.

“Fuck, Hobi…you’re so good at that.”

He hummed into your clit at the sound of your praise, the vibration pushing you closer to the edge.

“Oooh shit, I’m so close, fuck…”

Pushing two fingers into you, he curls them upwards and massages the sensitive tissues within you while he continues to tongue your clit.

With a few more gentle suctions and some hard licks, you cried out hoarsely once your orgasm hit, your core pulsing and squeezing around his fingers that he continued to pump in and out of you. You flinch, trying to pull away from him once overstimulation starts to set.

Still in a daze, you barely register him getting rid of his bottoms. But then you came back to full awareness once you felt him sink his length into you. Your walls make room for him while he stretched and filled you.

You wrapped your legs around his waist and churned your hips restlessly…your body quietly begging for more.

You looked into his eyes, they were dark and glazed with equal amounts of lust and love. He dipped his head to kiss you. You taste your arousal from his lips, igniting your desire even more.

His full weight was on you while deep, sexy groans vibrated against your chest. Your walls convulsed while he thrusted in and out, boring deeper into you.

Then, he paused to shift your bodies on the mattress, where he sat up and you were on top of him. He loved this position–when he would watch your tits bounce or suck on them while you rode his cock until you came all over him.

He licked the beads of sweat that dripped between the valley of your breasts, then moved to gently bite each nipple, sending another rush of shivers down your spine.

He cupped your face in his hands and locked eyes with you. “You’re so beautiful…I love you…”

You pressed your forehead to his. “I love you, jagi…so much.” You kissed him again while you rolled your hips to him. He breaks the kiss only to suck on his thumb before he slid his hand between you. He massaged your clit in slow, rhythmic circles. You lean back a little to give him better access, keeping your hands on his shoulders for leverage while his free hand holds your waist securely to him.

You contract your insides furiously, building up another climax as the feel of his cock fucking into you and his thumb on your clit work you up into a frenzy.

The way he knew your body was insane. He knew exactly where to touch, where to kiss, how to tease and how far to push it. He knew all of your cues, every shudder, a hitch on your breathing, and your moans…

You dragged one out while he hit a sensitive bundle of nerves in you. “Mm…getting close again, huh?”

You nod your head furiously, which only spurred him further. He kept stroking your clit and met your thrusts, goading your climax. The sensitivity made you thrash against the onslaught. A few more pulses of his finger on your clit sent you over the edge. You came again, letting out a hoarse, broken cry.

A rough sound rumbled within his chest while he swelled inside you, chasing his own climax.

“I’m close…where can I cum?”

“Lemme suck you off,” you breathed out.

He slowed his tempo. “You sure?”

You leaned in to kiss him. “Yes.”

He held you as you pulled yourself off him gingerly. He watched while you sat on your heels and settled between his legs. The flat of your tongue traced a vein up his length and up to the tip, making him drag out a groan. You took him in your mouth again, your neck arching back as you lowered.

“Holy fuck…” He threw his head back as his cock hit the back of your throat. You pulled back, your tongue coated in your arousal mixed with the rich flavor of him.

He groaned, his hands cupping your jaw. “Don’t stop, baby. Suck me dry.”

Your cheeks hollowed as you found your rhythm, while the sound of his ragged breaths and moans filled the room.

“Fuck, baby…gonna cum…” He ground out. His cock swelled in your mouth. Your scalp stung as his hand fisted and pulled at your hair.

His mouth fell open, his abdomen clenched as he let out a guttural cry, his body shuddering as he came hard.

He cursed as you swallowed. He emptied himself in thick, hot bursts, as if it was the last thing he’d ever do. By the time he finished, you were gasping for air.

He pulled you to your feet while you both stumbled backwards onto the mattress, tucking you to his side. His lungs struggled to catch his breath while he came down from his high. His hands roughly roamed your sweat-slicked body as he pulled you in tighter.

“Holy shit, I think I can see spots before my eyes!” He choked out, pressing a quick, rough kiss to your forehead. “Who knew blowjobs could cause temporary blindness?”

You curled into him, resting your head against his chest while his heart pounded loudly while you sighed. “Wow, I’ll take that as a compliment!” He lets out a throaty laugh.

You held each other like that for a while, his fingers sifting through your hair and gliding gently down your back.

“I’m so happy,” he said quietly while his lips tickled your temple.

You craned your neck to peer up at him. “You make me happy.” Swallowing a lump in your throat, you whispered, “Don’t ever leave me.”

He smiled and caressed your cheek. “I don’t think I could ever do life without you.”

******

“Hey…you haven’t touched your dinner.”

Even though you hear Hobi’s voice from a distance, you couldn’t make out what he was actually saying since your eyes were glued to your laptop and piles of paperwork that you’ve been poring over all weekend.

It was close to 11PM and you had a deadline–it technically wasn’t for another few days but you wanted to finish early and leave a great impression on the bosses.

You and Hobi were supposed to head back home for the long weekend but you volunteered to put together a capsule collection that was shaping up to be high-profile. It was a collaboration effort with a celebrity so you had to spend many hours picking and choosing possible pieces along with moodboards to present to your client. You saw it as a great opportunity to give you that leg up that you need to secure this permanent position at the company.

For a moment, you closed your eyes and stretched your neck from side-to-side. You tried to convince Hobi that he could still make the trip home to go see his parents and you would just stay back at your apartment in the city to finish work.

He refused to leave without you.

“Baby?”

“Hm?” His voice snaps you out of your hazy state–fatigue mixed with hunger and irritation. He was standing right behind you now, rubbing your neck and shoulders.

“You should get some rest.” He bends down and places a kiss on the crown of your head.

You leaned back towards him briefly, focusing on his hands that worked the pent up tension off your back. A few seconds later, you hunched over your laptop again. “I just need another two hours, jagiya. I have this all figured out–I only need to line this all up to make sure everything’s within the theme…then I can get all of it done before tomorrow.”

“I thought you said this wasn’t due ‘til next Friday? You know, on account of the holiday this weekend.” He took the seat next to you on the dining table.

You sighed, rubbing your cheeks slowly, willing some life back into them. Hobi watched you silently. You’d dropped a bit of weight since you were stressed and overworked.

“You should eat something. I can feed you, if you like?” he offers.

You chuckled at the idea. “Hobi, I’m not a little kid. You don’t have to do that.”

He remained serious and stared at you with concern. “I know I don’t have to but–I just get worried when you skip meals.” He cupped your hollowed cheeks. “You’ll get sick, sunshine. At least take a break and have a few bites?”

You gave him a small smile and relent. “Okay,” you say quietly. You take your plate of food that he made you and gingerly get up from your seat to microwave it. But as soon as you stood up, your vision went blurry for a second. The next thing you knew, your world had turned upside down.

Hobi curses, catching you before you hit the floor.

*********

A week later, after a long day at work, you come home to your apartment. You were surprised to see Hobi home early since he previously mentioned that he was meant to pull an all-nighter at the office to get through piles of paperwork.

“Hey.” He greets you after you toed your shoes off by the door. “I thought you had some stuff to finish at the office?”

“Eh…I just thought I put in enough hours this week. Someone else can start pulling their weight. How was your day?”

You flopped yourself on the couch next to him and he instantly wraps his arms around you.

“Fucking long,” you say emphatically, then sighing heavily. “I got in trouble today because one of the other junior staff fucked up on one of the documents, so I pretty much ate shit for the better part of the day.”

“What? And you didn’t say anything?”

“Well–technically, I handed off the work to her because I already had a ton of stuff going on. It was my responsibility to give her all of the information and…I missed a few details.” You groaned at the headache that started to build up.

“That’s fucked up! Did you tell your boss that it wasn’t your fault?”

“Hobi–I already apologized, I corrected the mistake—“

“Why? Why would you apologize for someone else’s screwup?”

“Hobi, please…I just wanted to avoid more trouble. Trying to argue would have just aggravated the situation and I really didn’t want to make it worse.”

He shakes his head. “That’s fucked up,” he says under his breath.

You scoffed. “Excuse me? In case you’ve forgotten, we need to keep our jobs to stay afloat here.”

“Mm…and getting treated for exhaustion is part of staying afloat?”

You bit the inside of your cheek at the sound of that. This job took its toll–but you had to work hard. All of this effort you were putting in was going towards your future.

“We should just go back home,” he says unceremoniously.

Your head jerked back in surprise. “Go back home? W-why?”

“Because, I hate watching you struggle like this! That night I took you to the hospital? It scared the shit out of me!”

A pang of guilt hits you. “I…I’m sorry for that, jagi. I’m trying to take care of myself now. I’m eating, taking breaks…”

“It’s not just that,” he interjects. He opens his mouth, hesitating for a few seconds before continuing. “You collapsing was the final straw!”

Your shoulders slump, utterly at a loss for words at this. You weren’t sure where all of this negativity was coming from. Day in and day out, you both went to your jobs, fully committed to reach your goals.

Final straw?

“What are you saying?”

He sighed heavily. “I’ve held on for as long as I could…but I just can’t anymore. I’ve been struggling…a lot. I hate my job, I’m tired, and I’m stressed all the time. What’s worse is that I don’t like how it’s all starting to affect us.”

“Hobi–I…” you moistened your dry lips. “Look, we knew it wasn’t going to be easy, right? And that it wasn’t going to be smooth-sailing? We’d get some bumps in the road…” you trailed off, trying to justify your situation.

“I know that but–we go out, come home…then we fight. It wasn’t like this before. I don’t want us to resent each other.”

“What? Jagi, I don’t resent you. Work is just…there’s just a lot of pressure involved for me and I’m sure what you’re going through is a rough patch. That’s what happens when we’re just starting out, right? Once we’re a bit more established–”

“I quit.”

“W-what?” Your voice faltered in disbelief.

“I quit my job. Today.” He deadpanned.

“W-wait–you quit?” You heard exactly what he said but you wanted him to repeat it once more just to make sure that this wasn’t one of his ‘gotcha’ jokes.

He nodded. “I was just getting pushed too hard and I couldn’t stand it anymore. Nobody should be allowed to treat people that way!”

Hobi had struggled at work from the get-go but he didn’t talk about it openly. He was usually vague when you asked him about it. In reality, he had a difficult time relating to people at the office, much less pleasing his boss.

In an effort to cheer him up, you tried taking him with you to happy hours with your coworkers and casual nights out with your new friends but something in him still felt off.

“Hoseok–” you groaned. “That is irresponsible of you. What about our rent? Bills? I–How…” You tried to form coherent sentences. “What are we going to do?”

After a beat of silence, he looked you straight in the eye. “We can go home.”

His suggestion stopped you in your tracks. “But…what about my job?”

“Sunshine, we can start over back home! The great thing is that we’re already familiar with it. We don’t need to make changes, everything can just stay the same! And the rent and utilities? Since we’re not locked into a lease anymore, we can just finish out the month in this place. That’s in two weeks!”

“Two…weeks?” You say vaguely. You felt as if you were having an out-of-body experience.

“I could see how this internship has been taking its toll on you. It’s just not right. You’re putting in all of this effort for a job that may not even get offered to you in the end. There’s no guarantee in that!”

He had a point. There was absolutely no assurance that you were going to get selected for the full-time position at the company. Although your boss promised that they would write everyone great recommendations, it wasn’t enough for you to bank on that.

“Huh…two weeks?” You ask again.

“Yeah, we’re out of here in two weeks!”

Your mouth opens tentatively, “Wow…that’s…really soon…”

Softening his features, he moves closer to you, cupping your face. His eyes glistened differently. It was this bright, warm light that seemed to have been snuffed out not long after you moved away from home. But now, with the promise of leaving all this behind, that glow was back.

“I know it’s a lot to take in. But think about it, we’ll be back home! No more stress, no pressure,” he assures you.

“R-right,” you concurred.

Then, he gets an idea. “C’mon, you must be starving! I’ll make you dinner, okay? It’ll be done by the time you get out of the shower,” he grinned.

A week later…

Hobi busied himself, packing and boxing up your things. Unfortunately, work has been riding your ass so much that you haven’t had the time to pack or sort through your stuff at the apartment.

Today, you came home early after a big meeting with your manager.

You were standing in the kitchen when the door opened and he saw you. He was just coming back from running errands all morning.

“Hey, sunshine,” he beamed at you.

You gave a somber greeting back. He walks straight to you to give you a kiss.

“I just spoke to our landlord,” he began excitedly, “She said that she’s sad to see us go since we’ve been such good tenants. She also said that if we ever change our minds and come back, she’d be happy to refer us to one of her other properties. I said that was a nice offer but I don’t think we’d be back anytime soon,” he chuckled. Leaning onto the counter, he sees that you were still quiet.

“Are you okay? Are you hungry? I can fix you something–”

“No, I’m…I’m okay right now,” you answer him. “Just had a pretty eventful day at work.”

“I’m sure,” he grinned. “Is your boss stressing out over your replacement after your two weeks are up?”

You exhaled nervously. “Actually…I wanted to talk to you about that.”

His eyebrows furrowed. “Talk to me about what?”

“Work.”

“Work?” He repeated. “What’s there to talk about? You put in your two weeks, right?”

You shifted your weight on your feet anxiously and sank your teeth into your bottom lip.

“You did put in your two weeks, right? YN?”

“I got offered the full-time position today…” You paused to gauge his reaction before continuing. When he didn’t speak, you said, “...And I accepted it.”

His jaw falls open from shock and confusion. “I…I don’t understand. I thought that you–”

“I was, I was! I…I fully intended on putting my two weeks in but I–”

“Is that why you haven’t packed?” He looked around the apartment where your things were still strewn about.

You stared at him blankly and didn’t answer.

“YN…” He gripped his forehead in exasperation. “I don’t get it. What else would be keeping you here?”

“A guarantee,” you answer quietly.

“What? What do you mean?” He was incredulous.

“You’ve told me that I keep hanging onto something that wasn’t even guaranteed. But now that it is, I’ve decided that I’m staying. I can’t leave now.”

His voice rose. “Yes, you can! Just as we came here, we can get out of here.”

“No!” You said firmly.

“I’m sorry…did you just say ‘no’?” He chuckled bitterly. “You really want to stay in this hell-hole?”

“It is not a hell-hole! Namjoon lives here and he’s doing just fine!”

“But that’s how Namjoon is! He grits his teeth and pushes through it. Doesn’t matter if his shit gets rejected 30 times. He’ll keep at it until he gets the validation that he needs. I’m not like that!”

“Well, maybe you just need to grow thicker skin!”

His eyebrows knitted at how absurd that was. “Thicker skin? What is that supposed to mean?”

“Meaning, you shouldn’t give up so easily. You have to keep pushing yourself to do better! This is all fuel—to make you stronger…better!”

His jaw drops in shock. “Better? Stronger?” He laughs bitterly.

“Yes! Things aren’t supposed to be just handed to you. You have to work for them!”

“You don’t think I worked my ass off in the last year?” He was agitated and started to pace around the room.

“I never said anything like that! But I also don’t understand why you are being so narrow-minded about all this.”

He stopped and stared at you, his expression hardening. “Oh, I’m narrow-minded? Will you listen to yourself? I just told you that I was unhappy at my job and our life here and you tell me to-to-to grow thicker skin? You are completely blinded by your ambition!”

You stared back at him, indignant. “My ambition? Wasn’t this supposed to be our dream to begin with? For our future?” You say loudly.

“This was not my dream nor was it what I envisioned as our future. This isn’t the life that I want.”

“Well, what kind of life did you have in mind?” You challenged.

“Just a simple, quiet life…with you.”

Now it was your turn to laugh. “See, that’s the problem with you. You’re just completely content in staying where you’re at. You don’t aim high enough.”

“The problem with you,” he points at you aggressively, “...is that nothing is ever enough. You always want more!”

You square your shoulders and tilted your chin up at him. “What’s wrong with wanting more?”

He caught his lower lip with his teeth, pain etched all over his beautiful face. “Because it means that I will never be enough for you.”

Your mouth drops at his remark and you let out a faint whimper. “Hobi…that’s…that’s not even–”

“I tried. I really tried. I tried adapting to life in the city. I went to work…tried to make new friends just to help me get used to it all even though I kept feeling out of place. And I did it all for you. But I realized that…I can’t do this for the rest of my life. It’s only been a year and I already feel exhausted. I’m done!”

You felt off-balance again, just as you did last week. Except that it wasn’t exhaustion or skipped meals that was causing it. After Hobi’s confession, you felt the need to lean against something. You settled for the kitchen counter.

“Please, YN, let’s go home,” he pleads, “While I still have my dignity.”

“If you’re exhausted and done with all of this…then leave,” you said quietly.

The crease between his eyebrows deepened. “Now you’re just being selfish.”

“Oh, I’m being selfish?” You pointed to yourself. “Working to build a nice future for us is selfish?”

“We can still have that! Why does it matter where we’re at?”

“Precisely! If where we’re at doesn’t matter to you, then why do we have to go back? Why can’t we stay here?”

Hobi runs his fingers through his hair in exasperation. “We’re going around in circles, sunshine–”

“Don’t call me that.” Your eyes turned downcast. His term of endearment always made your heart bloom, but hearing it now just made it sink.

“I resent the fact that you’d call me selfish.” Tears stung your eyes. “I am not nor have I ever been selfish when it came to you.”

You also worked your ass off in the last year. Working overtime, taking on more projects. You also did all of these things with him in mind. For both of you.

“YN…” He tried to reach out for you but you backed away from him.

You gazed at him wordlessly.

“I can’t leave without you,” he pleaded.

You sank your teeth to your bottom lip in an attempt to steady its quivering. “But I know that you can’t stay with me either.”

It’s been over two months. It felt more like years. But no, it’s only been a couple months.

You moved in with Namjoon temporarily until you saved up enough to find a place that you could afford. He didn’t mind you living with him and wasn’t pressuring you to move out, either. But since he’d been seeing this new girl, you didn’t want to cramp his style.

Since living in a new neighborhood, your usual work commute continued—albeit a different train stop. Luckily, both locations were still within walking distance.

“Miss! Miss!”

You look around to find a man chasing after you. While Namjoon’s neighborhood was relatively safe, living in the city has kept you hyper-vigilant and skeptical of random people trying to grab your attention at the train station.

You immediately dug your hand into your purse, finger firmly placed on the trigger of the can of mace that you carried with you.

“You dropped this,” the man says, holding up a familiar object.

Your other hand instinctively grabs at the carabiner keychain clipped to your purse strap. It held your office access badge and your metro card in a plastic card case. The card case was no longer attached to it.

“Oh my god!” You took your metro card and badge as he handed it back to you. The plastic case seemed to have broken off the keychain by accident. “Thank you,” you uttered in relief.

“You’re welcome. Might want to hang on to that,” he said, pointing to your transit pass.

“I had just reloaded this, too,” you said worriedly.

He smiled. “I noticed that you take the same train every night.”

You slowly reached into your purse for that can of mace again. “Y-yeah…”

The look on his face showed worry and confusion. “Oh…I wasn’t saying that to be a creep or anything. This is my stop, too. I just wanted to point out that we always seem to end up taking the same train often…the same car, even!”

You were still apprehensive. “I just happen to stand at a specific spot so that when I get off the train, I’m right by the escalators or stairs.”

He laughed. “I’m the same! I’d rather get in and out conveniently. I work around Montgomery Street,” he reveals.

“Oh, wow,” you let out a laugh, “That stop gets really packed.”

He nods. “I know.”

“I, uh, get on at the Powell Street stop.”

“Ah. Lots of retail shops there.”

“I work in fashion,” you affirm.

“I see,” he nodded again. “I didn’t catch your name—“

“I never gave it,” you responded.

He put his hand over his chest to introduce himself. “I’m Sam, by the way,” he smiled warmly. “And although I took a peek at your work badge, I’m hoping you would still tell me your name?”

He seemed a little less threatening now. You loosened your hold on the pepper spray.

“I’m YN.”

His smile grew wider. “It’s great to finally meet you.”

Joon and Jooni | Main Fic Masterlist

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