#schlart

[alexmey-does-an-arts]

guy who is totally definitely not an allegory for satan

[mellohisan]

they could never make me stop drawing you dsmp schlatt in limbo...

my comms are open!

[jschladderall]

Someone please find me the clip of Schlatt saying "I give good head too" >:(

I fucking LOST IT 😭😭😭

I FOUND IT

[turtlebluem]

Was bored in class so I drew the Big Guy

[whiteclaw-swagger]

Jebediah Schlatt, MichaelMcville’s local “Old Man”

This is his ask blog, which also doubles as a roleplay blog for the Beached SMP!

Feel free to send him anything, and he’ll be happy to answer

[lexisrobotcollection]

You ok there bud?

[cleanerdoesntgaming]

:8=)

jschlatt emoticon

[steamingketchup]

sdmp schlart real quick

[writingduhh]

You asked for Ted or schlart requests so may I kindly ask for both of them with baby fever? Have a good day!!

Schalrt 😭😭 that caught me off guard

Hope you enjoy !! Sorry if I’m a little rusty, it’s been a second!

❥ Jschlatt

▷ Schlatt starts subtly dropping hints. He'll casually scroll through cute baby clothes on his phone while you're sitting next to him, showing you an outfit and asking, "Wouldn't this look cute on a little one?" He acts like it’s no big deal, but you catch him looking at baby stuff more often than not.

▷ You’ll walk into the room and find Schlatt watching those compilation videos of babies doing cute or funny things. He’ll pretend he was watching something else, but you know better.

▷ Playfully testing your reaction. Every once in a while, he’ll ask a question like, “How do you think you’d look holding a baby?” or “What if we had a kid in the next few years, huh?” He loves watching your reaction, teasing you with a smirk.

▷ Talking about how he was as a kid. He’ll get nostalgic, telling you stories about his own childhood, emphasizing how much he’d love to share that with a little one of his own. “I used to build the best pillow forts as a kid. You think we’d have a kid who’d be into that?”

▷ Joking about having ‘a mini-me’. He’ll tease you by saying, “Imagine a little version of me running around. The world’s not ready for two Schlatts,” but his smirk shows he’s secretly into the idea. “At least you’d get double the love.”

▷ After a long day, when you’re both curled up on the couch, he’ll bring it up in a more heartfelt way. “I think I’d be a good dad,” he’ll say quietly, eyes soft as he gazes at you. “And you’d be an amazing mom/dad. I can already see it.”

▷ Using his cats as practice. You’ll find Schlatt baby-talking the cats, calling them his “little babies,” then turning to you and saying, “Good practice, right? When we have a kid, I’ll be a pro.”

▷ He’ll throw out the most ridiculous names while you’re doing mundane things. “What do you think about naming a kid ‘Maverick’? No? What about ‘Meatball’?” He’ll laugh it off, but it’s his way of getting you to think about baby names seriously.

▷ Calling himself ‘dad’ randomly. He’ll do things like fix a broken appliance or open a jar for you, then proudly say, “See? Im already the dad of the house.”

▷ He’ll come up with hilarious (and slightly absurd) future scenarios. “So when our kid’s 5 and starts a lemonade stand, I’ll be the muscle, making sure they get good prices. We’ll be rich!”

▷ Dropping hints during random conversations. You’ll be discussing future plans, and Schlatt will casually slip in, “We’ll need a bigger car. Y’know, for when we’ve got a car seat back there.” He’ll laugh, but he’s clearly testing the waters.

❥ Ted

Ted gets visibly excited over baby things he sees, like baby clothes or tiny shoes. “Look at these tiny sneakers! Can you imagine a mini version of me wearing these?” He’s playful but definitely serious about wanting it someday.

▷ Constantly dropping dad jokes. Ted’s already known for his sense of humor, but when he gets baby fever, his dad jokes get even worse (and more frequent). “What do you call a baby potato? A small fry!” He cracks these jokes constantly, then grins and says, “See? I’m ready for dad life.”

▷ Practicing his 'dad voice'. Ted will randomly deepen his voice and say things like, “Hey, kiddo, you can’t eat that!” or “No running in the house!” “Hey, you listen to your mother/father!” He’ll look at you after, all proud, and say, “I think I nailed the dad voice, don’t you?”

▷ Out of nowhere, Ted will start dropping baby names into conversations, just to see how you react. “How about ‘Oliver’ for a boy? Or ‘Lily’ for a girl? I think it’d suit them.”

▷ Ted’s a big traveler, so he often talks about future family vacations. “Can you imagine us taking a little kid to Disney? I’d totally be the dad with the GoPro, documenting every moment.”

▷ When you’re out together, Ted always seems to notice families with young kids. You’ll catch him smiling at parents pushing strollers or playing with their toddlers, then he’ll look at you with that soft expression, clearly imagining the two of you with a little one.

“Practicing” dad outfits. You’ll catch Ted wearing sneakers with high socks, shorts, and a tucked-in shirt, complete with a baseball cap. When you ask him what’s up with the outfit, he’ll laugh and say, “Just getting my dad look ready for when we’re chasing kids around!”

▷ When you’re curled up on the couch or in bed, Ted will hold you close and whisper, “I think we’d be such great parents. I can’t wait to see you with a little one. You’d be the best mom/dad.”

▷ Every now and then, Ted will have a moment of sincerity, where he drops the jokes and looks at you with pure adoration. “I want this with you, someday. A family. I know it’s in the future, but I’m excited for it.”

▷ Ted often daydreams about what your future kids would be like, blending your personalities together. “I bet they’d have your gorgeous looks and my sense of humor. We’d be raising little comedians!”

[ohbabydollie]

writing schlatt little letters but misspelling his name on purpose

dear schlart,

shart my love,

shit,

at first he thought it was funny and cute since you didn’t know how to spell his name at first. you ended up writing it as shlatt, sclatt, etc. until you got used to writing it.

once you did, he loved reading your notes until it got to schcatt, schlut, schore, shit, schlart, etc.

occasionally you’ll throw in the nickname that catches him off guard and makes him laugh.

he leaves them on his desk to read from time to time while he’s streaming, his face almost immediately softens with a smile as he sees the way you’ve found to edit his name

he would never tell you, but seeing those little letters makes him feel better

it’s the highlight of his day

[pumpkin-duo-forever]

there he is! theres my husband!

Went outside w the dogs tonight looking good

[sardonic-the-writer]

gone but never forgotten. rip schlart 1999-2024

[ja1-d3n]

[Text: Jaiden :v ] Come outside now.

*stressed, knees weak arms spaghetti*

[Text: Schlart :)] O_O

*sends that as her confirmation, before putting on her slippers and making her way outside of Theta*

[jesus-holding-your-fave]

Mr. Jesus sir, would you rather have unlimited bacon but no more games, or games, unlimited games, but no games?

i have to agree with jebidiah schlart on this one

you have to take the bacon

[moonysfavoritetoast]

schlart is live

[riptide98]

i’ve been working on a scu fic (but at least the ceiling’s very pretty/baltcvp) for like over a year now (the og vers of the first 4 chapters are on my og ao3 acc) and i got bored and made up lore in my bathroom taking a fat shit and then i wrote it down and im really proud of it tbh!!

lmk if this needs any warnings or anything it’ll be below the cut if anyone wants any context to points jus ask me i dont have access to the actual fic doc rn but i rember things

first. the mortal/god stuff.

the reason why their bodies are all at first mortal is the residual imbalance from grizz being dead. in this sort of “au” ig idk, when one god of a pantheon (i.e grizz) dies (which is VERY rare and usually only happens when one god takes out another, i.e bebo shooting him) there’s an imbalance in the world, so the divinity of the others begins to lessen until they’re mortal again. but, as they’re all reunited and grizz is somehow revived, which i’ll get to later, that divinity begins to return to them all

and on the topic of the reunion and grizz’s revival....

it’s a mystery until the end (even after they get charlie back) how they all are back at molympus. but since im god and i wrote this lore bit, i can say it now ^_^

some backstory:

after the boys beat the game, their divinity slowly left them until they were mortal to keep that aforementioned balance. the world became godless, but the people survived, praying to the gods of old (the boys) and believing they could still help (they cant). charlie....is a story for another paragraph, bizly became a recluse and chose to hide in the forests and nature almost to torture himself (grizz was the god of nature and bizly was the one who killed him so), and condi dedicated himself to finding out how to bring grizz back so the world could gain its gods again.

charlie was whisked away by schlart to be readied for the next story ^_^ simce he’s the main character after all :3 anyways hes not relevant

since the world began to crumble in on itself without its gods, thus starts 100 days. schlatt brings charlie in to carry out his final story, but the other two, who are still alive, don’t realize until he shows up again

bizly realized how different charlie was the second he saw him even from a distance, almost miraculously recognizing him, and decided to make a new persona so he wouldn’t have to act like he knew him. he’d been hurt enough by charlie and his distance and his disappearance that he didn’t want to have to try and jog his obviously lost or repressed memory. he left him in the end because he just couldn’t face him anymore. he hated how he looked at him with no recognition despite looking basically the same, maybe just with shaggier hair, sounding the same, just with a slight accent for the bit, being the same. so he left. he was so blinded by anger and frustration that he couldn’t even be fully aware of charlie’s differences and issues.

though he did come back and fight by charlie’s side, in the end. he still cared that much.

condi, on the other hand, almost didn’t recognize charlie by the time he found him. he’d been so beat up and coated in dirt and grime that he was almost unrecognizable. charlie always kept in tiptop shape, so if condi hadn’t recognized the slimes on him he probably would barely realize who he was. plus, his voice was so fucked up due to the haze in the air and still apparent years of disuse that he didn’t even sound himself. where bizly was angry, condi was concerned. condi was genuinely worried at first, but then his focus shifted back to his projects almost unnervingly quickly when he was asked of them.

though he did sacrifice his life to save charlie’s, in the end. he still cared that much.

grizz is dead as hell LMAOAOAOAOAO

after day 100, bizly was the only god of the pantheon alive. still using his florida man persona as basically a coping mechanism at this point, saddled with these two random mortals, one of whom disturbingly reminded him of grizz, he was frustrated. done. he wanted his life back. his friends back. his divinity back.

and one day he woke up back on molympus.

how, you ask? bizly’s frustration, his anger, his grief, it all bottled up in him alongside the last dregs of divinity left in their realm. basically, the world follows the stability of its gods, and since bizly was the last god left, when he broke, so did the world. when the world broke, it killed him in the process.

the death of the gods, with nobody left to be able to channel their divinity, ended the world.

but, like in minecraft, you can always make a new one.

bizly, in his state, accidentally created a new world and revived all four of the gods of old. which lines up, because he was always the healer. the god of life, being the last one to have it.

the god of life, being able to restore it.

now, to clarify charlie’s whole situation.

when he was revived, schlatt was alongside him because the two are deeply intertwined for some insane reason that involves that first encounter. he became the main character of the story schlatt wanted to weave by being the last one left standing. he was the largest subject of the torture put upon everyone. he caused the problems that led to his friends, eventually fellow gods, to hate him, deep down. everyone else were just plot devices for him.

so when he was revived, so was schlatt. and schlatt missed his story. so he decided he’d loop it as many times as it takes charlie to get out with his memories being reset with each loop.

all he had to do was take his shot in the final moments of day 101.

anyways off the topic of charlie because although the fic is based around trying to get him back it focuses on the others more

everyone being revived brought them all to where bizly wanted them to be again: molympus. he’d missed the actual good times they’d had over the few thousand years they spent together, building their world bit by bit, code by code. it held shitty memories of practical verbal abuse, yeah, but it was also one of the safest places he’d ever had. he wanted it back. he wanted his friends.

and, in the end, he got them.

to summarize: everyone turned mortal, fucking died, and bizly revived his friends and fucking brainblasted a new world into existance because he was sad abt all of it. also charlie’s stuck in a time loop but that's not important