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Six Years, Five months and Two days | FIVE X READER
pairing: five hargreaves x reader
Word Count: 3805
Genre:Â angst
General Notes: Lila x Five did happen here folks :/, sexual themes, crude language, this does not correlate with whatever happens during seasons 4 other than Lila and Five jumping into a different timeline together for seven years, Reader is referred to as female and wife
Trigger Warnings: Infidelity and Betrayal: References to an affair and its emotional fallout, Emotional Turmoil: Repeated cycles of using others for support followed by pain, Unwanted Pregnancy: Discussion of a potential pregnancy with uncertain paternity, Conflict and Blame: Arguments and blame related to the affair and its effects,Intense Conversations: Emotional discussions filled with guilt, regret, and frustration, Relationship Breakdown: Decision to take a break from a relationship due to ongoing issues, and Self-Destructive Patterns: Seeking comfort in a way that leads to more distress.
Authorâs note: I think if I could give this fic a song, I think it would be 'don't speak - no doubtâ
Taglist:(comment if you wanna be added) @fate-posts
Spoiler:Â All you get is, there will be a part 4
Click here for part four !
Click here for the previous part two!
It's been a few weeks of this cycle: you using Five whenever the loneliness and anger become too much to bear, then pushing him away, crying in the aftermath, and repeating the cycle. Each encounter is a mix of bitterness and need, a desperate attempt to fill the void left by his betrayal while simultaneously punishing him for it.
Every time, you find solace in his presence, yet the relief is fleeting. The passion you once shared has become a battleground, where your emotions clash and your pain is laid bare. Afterward, as you watch him leave, you are left with a profound sense of emptiness, the tears you shed a stark reminder of the unresolved hurt that still lingers.
Even though this cycle is far from ideal for either of you, it has provided a certain measure of relief. Diego and Lila seem to be finding their way back to happiness, and as for you and Fiveâwell, youâre not divorced, but it's hard to say if what you share can still be called a marriage.
Itâs more of a fuck-buddy system now, with you being the only one reaching out. You start to wonder if Five ever gets tired of this arrangement. A flicker of sympathy for him crosses your mind, but it quickly fades when you remember the betrayal. He cheated on youâwith his brotherâs wife.
A knock on your bedroom door reels your out of your thoughts.
You open the bedroom door to find Lila standing there, her expression a mix of concern and resolve. Sheâs dressed casually, but thereâs a seriousness in her posture that catches your attention.
âHey,â she begins, her voice tentative but steady. âI was wondering if we could talk.â You nod, stepping aside to let her in. She walks into the room, glancing around as if taking in the remnants of your own turmoil. You close the door behind her, feeling a mixture of curiosity and apprehension.
Lila takes a seat on the edge of your bed, her eyes meeting yours with a searching look. âI know things have been... complicated between us,â she starts, her voice gentle. âAnd I know that everything with Diego and Five has been tough on you. But I think itâs time we had an honest conversation.â
You sit down across from her, your mind racing with the possible reasons for her visit. Her sincerity and the weight of her words prompt you to brace yourself for whatâs to come.
âFirst off, I want to say Iâm sorry,â Lila begins, her voice trembling slightly. âIâm sorry for allowing what happened to happen.âYou throw your hand up, shaking your head in frustration. âIt takes two to tango, Lila. It wasnât just you. It wasnât just him.â
She nods, her eyes reflecting a mix of guilt and regret. âI know, but stillâŠâ She trails off, lost in thought for a moment. After a deep breath, she looks at you with a conflicted expression. âIâm not sure if telling you this is going to be a good idea.â
Your eyebrows furrow, curiosity and concern mingling in your gaze. âWhat do you mean? If thereâs something you need to say, just say it.â
Lila hesitates, her eyes darting away, and then finally meets your gaze again. âI think Iâm pregnant.â
The words hang heavy in the air between you, each syllable carrying the weight of a thousand unspoken fears and uncertainties. You stare at her, your mind racing as you try to process what sheâs just said. The room feels suddenly smaller, the tension could be cut with a knife .
Iââ You start, but no words come out. You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. âAre you sure?â Lila nods, her expression a mix of fear and resignation. âIâve taken a few tests, and theyâve all been positive. I havenât told Diego yet. I wasnât sure how or when to bring it up.â
You run your hand through your hair, sitting in silence and shock. The room feels like itâs closing in around you. âIâm telling you this because I donât know how far along I am. And there may be a slight chance⊠that⊠Five could maybe be the father.â
The weight of her words lands heavily on you, the implications sprawling out in every direction. Your mind races through the possibilities, each one more tangled and complicated than the last.
âFive?â you repeat, trying to grasp the full extent of what sheâs saying. âYou think⊠thereâs a chance this could be Fiveâs baby?â Lilaâs eyes are filled with a mix of regret and uncertainty. âI donât know for sure, but I dunno, with the timing of everything, It could be his.â
You sit in stunned silence, struggling to process the revelation. âThis is... a lot. I mean, Five and I, weâve beenââ
âUsing each other,â Lila finishes for you, her voice barely a whisper. You sigh, your shoulders slumping under the weight of the revelation. âThisâthis is a lot, Lila. I donât even know what to say,â you admit, feeling utterly defeated.
She nods, her eyes reflecting her own fear and regret. âI know... Iâm sorry. I just wanted to be honest. Iâm terrified of what this means for Diego and me, and for you and Five.â
You shake your head, trying to wrap your mind around the enormity of what Lila just shared. âIâm not sure why youâre telling me this, Lila.â Your voice is steadier than you feel, masking the chaos thatâs erupting inside of you.
Lila takes a deep breath, her hands twisting in her lap. âBecause you deserved to know the truth. I thought... maybe if weâre honest with each other, we can figure out what to do next.â Her voice wavers, but there's a glimmer of determination in her eyes.
You let out a bitter laugh, the sound escaping before you can stop it. âAnd what exactly is there to figure out, Lila? We wait. We wait for this child to grow enough to get a paternity test, and then we deal with whatever the hell happens afterwards.â
Lila flinches at the harshness of your words, her expression a mix of guilt and resolve. âI know itâs not that simple,â she says quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. âBut what else can we do? I just wanted to be honest with you, to try and make things right somehow. I donât want any more secrets between us.â
You shake your head, feeling a wave of exhaustion wash over you. âYou think being honest makes up for any of this? You think it undoes the fact that you two fucked?â Your words come out sharper than you intended, the anger being unable to be contained.
Lila's face crumples, her eyes welling up with tears as she looks down, unable to meet your gaze. âNo,â she admits, her voice trembling. âI know it doesnât make up for it. I know it wonât change what happened. But I canât keep pretending like it didnât happen, either. Iâm trying to face it, to deal with it... even if it means facing you like this.â
You let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through your hair as you try to keep your emotions in check. âYou want to face it? Fine. But I canât pretend this makes us friends or whatever. You broke somethingâsomething that canât just be fixed with a sorry and some honesty.â
Lila nods, a tear slipping down her cheek. âI know. Iâm not asking for forgiveness... Iâm not even sure I deserve it. I just wanted to be truthful, to at least try and do the right thing for once.â
You look at her, seeing the raw emotion in her eyes, the genuine remorse etched across her face. For a moment, your anger softens, replaced by a heavy, painful understanding. Sheâs just trying to figure everything out too, struggling to navigate the chaos and consequences of her actions, just like you. But it doesnât erase the fact that she played a big part in all of this, that her choices have led to this mess that now binds all of you together.
Still, thereâs a part of you that wants to hold onto the anger, to use it as a shield against the hurt and betrayal. Yet, seeing her like this, vulnerable and regretful, you canât help but feel a flicker of empathy. Maybe she doesnât deserve forgiveness, but neither of you deserve this situation either.
You exhale slowly, trying to push away the conflicting emotions that swirl inside you. âLook, Lila,â you say, your voice more steady now, âI get that youâre trying to do the right thing. And I get that youâre scared. Hell, I am too. But I canât just pretend like everythingâs okay because you decided to come clean.â
Lila nods again, swallowing hard. âI know,â she whispers. âI donât expect things to be okay. I just⊠I need you to know the truth. I thought it was the least I could do.â
You let out another sigh, feeling the weight of her words settle over you like a heavy blanket. âYeahâŠâ you murmur, trailing off as the enormity of the situation sinks in. Lila takes a deep breath, her gaze shifting nervously before she speaks again. âDo you think you could... tell Five for me?â
Your eyes widen in disbelief. âWhy in the hell would I do that?â you snap, unable to hide your frustration.
Lila bites her lip, her eyes filled with a mix of desperation and vulnerability. âBecause Iâm scared,â she admits softly. âI donât know how heâs going to react, and I donât think I can handle another confrontation right now.â
You stare at her in disbelief, anger simmering just beneath the surface. âYouâre scared?â you repeat, your voice rising slightly. âLila, Iâm barely holding it together myself. You think I want to be the one to tell him that thereâs a chance he might be the father? Thatâs your issue to deal with.â
She flinches at your words, her shoulders slumping in defeat. âI get it, I do,â she says quietly, her voice trembling. âBut I thought... maybe heâd take it better coming from you.â
You shake your head, frustration boiling over. âThatâs because Iâm his wife, Lila. Or at least, I was before all this happened,â you snap. âBut Iâm not your messenger, and Iâm certainly not going to be the one to clean up your fuck-ups.â
Lila flinches again, your words hitting her like a physical blow. Her eyes brim with fresh tears, but she blinks them back, trying to hold herself together. âI know,â she whispers, her voice barely audible. âI know this is my mess. I just⊠I thought maybe⊠since you know him betterâŠâ
You cut her off with a sharp shake of your head, your frustration reaching its peak. âDonât you dare put this shit on me,â you snap, your voice cold and unyielding. âI didnât cause this mess, and Iâm not going to be the one to clean it up for you. You made your choices, Lila. Now you have to deal with them.â
Lilaâs face crumples, her composure breaking under the weight of your words. âIâm sorry,â she says again, her voice cracking. âIâm so sorry. I know Iâve hurt you. I know Iâve hurt Diego, and now this⊠I just donât know how to fix it.â
You feel a mix of anger and pity as you look at her, sitting there so lost and broken. Part of you wants to scream at her, to make her feel the full weight of the pain sheâs caused. But another part of you, a quieter, more compassionate part, recognizes her remorse and the fear in her eyes. Sheâs struggling, just like you are, caught in a situation that has spiraled out of control.
âLila,â you say more calmly, though your voice still holds a steely edge, âIâm not the one who can make this right. You need to talk to Diego. You need to talk to Five. You need to deal with this. I canât do it for you. I wonât.â She nods, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. âYouâre right,â she says quietly. âIâll talk to them. Iâll⊠Iâll figure it out. I just⊠Iâm sorry.â
Thereâs a long pause, the silence between you heavy and loaded with unspoken emotions. Finally, you sigh, feeling some of the tension leave your body. âJust⊠be honest with them,â you say softly. âThatâs all you can do now.â Lila nods, her expression a mix of determination and fear. âThank you,â she says, her voice barely more than a whisper. âFor listening. For⊠for everything.â
Without another word, she turns and leaves the room, the door closing softly behind her. You stand there for a moment, staring at the closed door, feeling a whirlwind of emotionsâanger, frustration, sadness, and a tiny, flickering ember of hope. Maybe, somehow, things could start to heal. Maybe, with time, you could all find a way forward. But for now, all you can do is take it one step at a time.
A little while later, another knock breaks the silence, pulling you from the depths of your thoughts. Youâve been sitting alone in the quiet room, the weight of everything pressing down on you. You feel drained, the emotional toll of the last conversation still fresh, and the last thing you want is another confrontation.
With a weary sigh, you stand and cross the room to open the door. On the other side, Five stands there, his expression tight with worry. His eyes quickly scan you, taking in your disheveled appearance and the exhaustion etched across your face.
"Hey," he says, his voice unsteady but low. He looks you up and down again, as if searching for some clue to your state of mind. You sigh, âWhat hell do you want?â He sighs, running his hand through his hair, âLila told me.â
You stand there, feeling the weight of his words. âShe told you?â you echo, trying to keep your voice steady. Five nods, his face a mixture of concern and frustration. âCan I come in?â he asks quietly.
You sigh, stepping aside to let him in. As he crosses the threshold, you canât help but feel a lingering, complicated affection for him, despite everything thatâs happened.
He takes a seat on the edge of the bed, and you sit down beside him, the space between you feeling both intimate and charged with unresolved tension. Five runs a hand through his hair, his eyes meeting yours with a pained expression. âI have no fucking idea what to do,â he admits, his voice heavy with frustration.
You stifle a laugh, the sound coming out more like a bitter chuckle. âWelcome to the fucking club,â you reply, your tone laced with a mix of sarcasm and resignation. The absurdity of the situation is almost too much to bear, and yet, thereâs a part of you that appreciates his honesty and vulnerability.
Fiveâs expression softens slightly, a glimmer of understanding in his eyes. âSo what now?â he asks, his voice quieter. You chuckle again, âWhoâs âwe,â Five? Last time I checked, it only takes two to make a baby,â you reply, your tone reflecting the harsh reality of the situation. The words hang between you.
Five looks down, clearly grappling with the weight of your words. âI know,â he says quietly, his voice heavy. âI just... What if it is mine?â
You shrug, the gesture feeling as heavy as the conversation. âThen youâd be the father,â you reply coldly. Your tone is blunt, a reflection of the emotional exhaustion youâre feelingâtired of crying, tired of being upset.
He groans, âNo fucking shit. What the fuck am I supposed to do? What are we going to do?â He gestures between the two of you, his frustration clear.
You take a deep breath, trying to keep your own emotions in check. âLook, Five,â you begin, your voice firm but weary, âThe only thing you, Lila, and Diego can do is wait. Wait for the baby to be old enough to take a paternity test.
He sighs but nods, âSorry for getting angry at you.â You shrug. unsure of what to say. At this point, words seem inadequate. The situation is so far beyond simple apologies and explanations. You just nod, acknowledging his apology without feeling the need to respond.
The silence that follows is heavy, charged with the weight of your shared pain. Fiveâs eyes linger on your face, his concern cutting through the tension. âAre you okay?â he asks softly, his voice betraying a genuine worry despite the strained circumstances.
You almost laugh, the irony and frustration bubbling to the surface. âYeah, Iâve been so fucking good,â you say, your voice dripping with sarcasm. âSince the day I learned my husband cheated on me with his brotherâs wife, and now that said wife might be carrying said husbandâs baby.â You let out a humorless chuckle, shaking your head. âEverythingâs just perfect.â
Five's face tightens with guilt and sorrow as he processes your words. âIâm really sorry,â he says quietly, his voice filled with regret. âI never wanted any of this to happen. I know thatâs not enough, but Iâm tryingâ Fuck, Iâm trying so fucking hard to make you forgive me.â He runs a hand through his hair, frustration evident in his movements.
You open your mouth to respond, but he cuts you off, his voice rough and strained. âIâm trying, alright? Iâm here, doing whatever fucked-up shit you need me to do. I thought maybe I could help in some way, even if itâs just by being here for you. But it feels like nothing I do is right. I donât know how to fix this or if I even can. Iâm just fucking lost.â
He pauses, his eyes searching yours for any sign of redemption or understanding. The frustration and self-loathing in his voice are palpable. You can see the weight of his guilt and regret hanging heavy on him, his attempts to fix things feeling futile and exhausting.
You look away from his intense gaze, the depth of his pain hitting you hard. âI just really fucking love you, alright?â he says, his voice cracking with raw emotion. He reaches out, gently cupping your cheek and turning your face towards him. The touch is tender, almost desperate, as if he's trying to hold on to the last remnants of what you once shared. His eyes, filled with a mix of hope and anguish, search yours for some sign that his words have made a difference.
You feel the warmth of his hand against your skin, the contact both comforting and excruciatingly painful. The depth of his plea and the sincerity in his touch make your heart ache, caught between the love you still feel and the hurt that's been inflicted. His gaze is unwavering, his desperation to mend whatâs broken evident in the way he holds your face, as if afraid that if he lets go, heâll lose you completely.
You sigh, your eyes closing briefly as you gather your thoughts. Slowly, you grasp his wrist and pull it away, creating a necessary distance between you. âFive,â you begin, your voice weary but resolute, âI canât keep doing this. This is too fucking painful.â
He looks at you, confusion and hurt mixing in his eyes. âWhat are you saying?â he asks, his voice trembling slightly.
You take a deep breath, trying to find the right words amidst the storm of emotions. âI think we need to take a break," you say, your voice quiet but firm. "This situation... it's too complicated, too messy. We both need time to figure things out, especially with everything that's happening with Lila." You pause, meeting Five's gaze, "I can't keep letting myself be hurt by you."
His expression shifts, a mix of shock and sadness settling in. âA break?â he repeats, his voice barely audible. You nod, your resolve firm despite the emotional weight of the moment. âYes, a break.â You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself.
He looks at you, confusion and hurt mingling in his eyes. âWeâve never done anything like this beforeâŠâ he states, his voice trailing off as he searches your face for some hint of a different solution.
You nod, unable to meet his gaze. It hurts, it hurts really fucking bad. You love this manâor loved him? You arenât too sure anymore. Youâve been through so much together, and the thought of putting distance between you feels like a stab to the heart.
You finally look up, your voice breaking with raw emotion. âI think itâsâ itâs for the best.â
You can see the pain in Five's eyes, the way his shoulders slump at your words. He takes a shaky breath, his voice cracking as he struggles to hold back tears. âIf thatâs what you need...â he begins, but his words trail off, unable to complete the thought. The weight of your decision hangs heavily in the air between you.
You look away, unable to bear the sight of him in such distressâthe man you love - broken by your own choices. Itâs a painful reminder of the betrayal that brought you to this point, and your heart aches even as you try to stay firm.
Five sighs deeply, gathering himself as he rises from the bed. He walks slowly toward the door, each step heavy with resignation. âI guess Iâll keep you updated on anything that happens with Lila and the baby,â he says, his voice a whisper, almost like heâs trying to convince himself as much as you.
You nod, the gesture feeling hollow as you wave him off. âYeah, okay,â you reply, your tone subdued. As he exits, the door clicks shut behind him, leaving you alone in the quiet room.
#the umbrella academy season 4#tua five#tua season 4#tua s4#tua#five hargreaves x reader#five hargreeves#five x reader#number five#hargreeves siblings#brisket five#sbs posting#tua fanfic#tua fandom#five x lila#five x y/n#five x you#five hargreaves x you
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Chat Noir: Hey, my lady? Quick question: why was Argos multitasking during patrol and trying to solve a cryptex? He said he got it from you.
Ladybug, casually: Oh, itâs from my latest treasure hunt I made for him.
Chat Noir: âŠYou give him treasure hunts? Why?
Ladybug: I still donât totally trust him not to pull another âRed Moonâ incident so I figured if I give him enrichment, heâs gonna be spending his time solving puzzles and figuring out clues that take him all over the city instead of potentially becoming a supervillain again.
Chat Noir, who watched FĂ©lix spend several hours to solving riddles last night: âŠHuh. Does he know..?
Ladybug: 90% sure, yes. I donât think he cares that much, heâs pretty invested in it and Iâm great at creating complex systems with clues to follow soâ it works out. Plus usually there is something to find at the end of the trail. Usually Kagami.
#WEâRE SILLY POSTING BABYYYY#Gotta keep the bird boy Enriched#heâs fine and pinky promises he wonât do it again but Ladybug likes insurance#And Argos likes puzzles so heâs fine with his arrangement#and Kagami gives him a kiss whenever he figures out the location so heâs happy#(Kagami will give him a kiss regardless but this way is extra fun)#This has been in my drafts since AUGUST#Bc I forgot I never actually posted it so. Oops#miraculous ladybug#marinette dupain cheng#adrien agreste#felix fathom#felix graham de vanily#SB Speaks#hope you like my newest silly post
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Tumblr Tuesday: Mermay
Well, chaps, Mermay is in full swing, and we thought we'd share a little selection of its masterpieces. Who knows, maybe you, too, will feel moved to immortalize the noble merperson. Call it inspo. Call it appreciation. Whatever you do, please do feast thine eyes and enjoy.
(As is often the way with the beasties, some of these have fins, eyes, bones, and other potentially upsetting sticky-out bits. Please proceed with caution if any of this squicks you out).Â
@yuumei-art:
@ionomycin:
@adalheidis:
@greenfinchg:
@iliothermia:
@chips-are-great:
@liss-art:
@ekbelsher:
@shpepyao:
@flightlessartist:
@wendylianmartin:
@sygnin:
@nerdvolutionkurisu:
@tyiart:
@artist-ellen:
@theftshrubbery:
@emihotaru:
@kororobus:
@mentoskova:
@wellnoe:
#tumblr tuesday#mermay#mermay art#artists on tumblr#pokémon#fnaf sb#tgcf#good omens#lgbtqia+ art#long post#many mers
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as a bi person, the bisexual flag brings me infinite joy and always puts a smile on my face, however as a person who has a Passion for Graphic Design, that undersaturated shade of purple infuriates me when it's used digitally
like, on an actual flag - which was its original purpose - it looks great!
those look fine! lovely, even! with the semi-transparent fabric, the way it catches the sunlight, it looks beautiful!
but now look at how it looks digitally
the pink and blue are so vibrant compared to the sad, lonely lavender!
and let's look at this statement from Michael Page, the creator of the bi flag:
(sidenote: he created this flag in 1998, so if his takes on bisexuality is different from yours, it's okay to notice that! a lot has changed since the 90s when it comes to lived experiences and the way we describe them. but, it's also important to respect his thoughts about this and the way he presented them, even if today, we'd probably not say that bi people "blend unnoticeably into both the gay/lesbian and straight communities.")
so in pantone colors, the pink is 226 C, the blue is 286 C, and the purple of the flag is 258 C.
but...here's the deal
Michael talks here about how the key to understanding the symbolism is to know that the purple blends into both the pink and blue. and on a physical flag, I think you can see that!
but digitally, it absolutely does not blend. it clashes badly, and looks oddly separate from the other two colors.
which got me wondering...what purple do you get if you actually blend 226 C and 286 C?
oh! oh, my god.
look at that! look at how nicely it fits between those colors!
look at it next to the original color scheme! look at how much more vibrant the purple is!
and friends. this is just blending through rgb! you get even more purple variations when you use other color spaces!
let's compare all of them:
(top: original, lab. middle: lrgb, lch. bottom: rgb, hsl)
look at all of the different purple options you can get just by combining these two colors!
if you want almost too-vibrant saturation, you can go hsl, if you want something more relaxed that's closer to the original, you can go lab or lrgb. and if you want to split the difference, lch is bright and violet, while rgb is there with its saturated but darker purple.
anyway, I guess I don't really have a point here? this isn't so much an informational post as it is Me Getting Weird About Colors, but I think it is a useful lesson about how colors look very different on screens compared to how they look on objects in real life.
and sometimes, I think it's okay to compensate for that.
out of all of these, this is my favorite bi flag:
it's the one where the colors were blended in lab color space. for me, the lighter, softer purple is close enough to the original bi flag purple, while also feeling like a smoother blend of the blue and pink
but that's just me! and it might not even look the same to you, since every screen is different, because technology is a nightmare!
anyway, thank you for coming with me on this colorful journey! I will now retreat back to inkscape and make pained sounds about inkstitch gradients until something tangible pulls me back into reality
#bi#bisexual#bisexuality#bi flag#bisexual flag#sbs rambles#graphic design is my passion#id in alt text#but#the ids are probably deeply unhelpful for the different variations of flags#in the alt text of the six flags all grouped together#I just put what method the purples were blended with#and then tried to describe them more in the paragraph below#but this is an inherently visual post#so if you're reading it with a screen reader I am sorry :(
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#i forgot to post this!!#fnaf sb#fnaf#fnaf sun#fnaf moon#fnaf security breach#fnaf meme#meme#fnaf dca#meme edit#my edit
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family reunion
#daske art#fnaf#fnaf rebuild au#fnaf security breach#five nights at freddy's#five nights at freddy's security breach#fnaf gregory#evan afton#crying child#fnaf crying child#i cant believe i actually forgot to post this here what#fnaf sb
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</Gives Moon & Sun plushies of themselves>
Enjoy!
they traded :)
#fnaf#fnaf sb#fnaf dca#dca fandom#fnaf sun#fnaf moon#tagging both of them in one post?? more likely than you think#no copypastas in the daycare#doodle dump#dialogue dump#it brings a certain comfort to have a physical representation of their other half within reach#they're always present in each others heads of course but. y'know. it's nice to have something to hold
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Fem sanji my beloveddd espec in nami's bathing suit ouhhggg
#sanami#sanji#nami#black leg sanji#cat burglar nami#one piece#one piece posting#sbâs art#digital art#fem sanji#one piece sanji#one piece nami
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hey yall have some Arcane Moon doodles on the house, the last two are from @daycarefriendpickup's magma session!
#arcane dcau#arcane moon#firelight y/n#posting doodles until i finish working on old forgotten wips#so many wips : arcane dcau#also that secret dca au that's been plaguing my thoughts#my art#fnaf dca#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf security breach#fnaf#fnaf sb#dca au#dca x reader#daycare attendant#dca fandom
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Six Years, Five months and Two days | FIVE X READER
pairing: five hargreaves x reader
Word Count: this is really fucking long, 9201
Genre:Â angst
General Notes: Lila x Five did happen here folks :/, sexual themes, crude language, this does not correlate with whatever happens during seasons 4 other than Lila and Five jumping into a different timeline together for seven years, Reader is referred to as female and wife
Trigger Warnings: Relationship Betrayal: Themes of infidelity and emotional betrayal, Reproductive Issues: Discussions about abortion and related emotional impact, Emotional Distress: Exploration of deep sadness, heartache, and loneliness, Loss and Separation: Themes of losing a family and feeling disconnected, Regret and Self-criticism: Characters expressing regret and self-blame, Conflict and Argument: Scenes involving intense emotional conflict and Feelings of Inadequacy: Characters grappling with their self-worth and personal place in the world.
Taglist: @fate-posts @zukki33 @nightfury @lethergy @wingoodlilboymyway @hxllhxund @stxrg3m @bigbobass @mimirockss
Spoiler:Â not all things have a good ending
Click here for the previous part, Part Four!
The moment you close your bedroom door, a thought strikes you with clarity: Diego deserves to know about Fiveâs lingering feelings for Lila. You nod to yourself â deciding to look for him.
As you pass by Diego and Lilaâs room, you notice the door is ajar. Peeking inside, you see Lila sprawled across the bed, her legs swinging idly in a manner that seems almost childlike. You shake your head in frustrationâDiego is nowhere in sight.
You continue downstairs, Maybe the living room?
You make your way through the house, your footsteps echoing in the quiet. As you approach the living room, you see Diego sitting on the couch, absently polishing his knives, a small smile playing on his lips. For a brief moment, youâre struck by how serene and focused he looks, a stark contrast to the pain swirling in your own heart.
You feel a pang of sympathy for him. After all, you're both caught in the fallout of each otherâs spouses choices. It's as if you and Diego are unwitting allies in this mess, both grappling with the consequences of their actions.
Swallowing hard, you approach Diego. âDiego,â you say, trying to keep your voice steady despite the weight of the revelation youâre about to share. He looks up, his expression shifting from calm to concerned as he takes in your serious demeanor.
âWhatâs going on?â he asks, setting the knife down and straightening his posture.
You take a deep breath, gathering your thoughts. âIâI know we havenât talked about what happened with... well, you know who,â you say, glancing around awkwardly.â But I would really like to. Like right now.â
His eyebrow quirks up in confusion, but he nods, rising from the couch. âIs the garden okay for this conversation?â he asks, gesturing toward the door. You nod, leading the way to the garden. The fresh air and tranquil setting seem to offer a brief respite from the storm of emotions you're both experiencing. Diego follows, his expression a mix of curiosity and concern.
You nod, leading the way to the garden. The fresh air and tranquil setting seem to offer a brief respite from the storm of emotions swirling around you both. Diego follows, his expression a mix of curiosity and concern.
As you step outside, the evening light casts a soft glow over the garden, the flowers swaying gently in the breeze. You take a seat on a nearby bench, and Diego settles beside you, his posture tense but attentive.
âAll right,â Diego says, looking at you with a mixture of anticipation and unease. âWhatâs on your mind?â
You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. âFive... he admitted to me that he still has feelings for Lila.â You pause, watching as Diegoâs eyes narrow, his jaw tightening.
âHe said that?â Diego asks, his voice low and controlled, but you can sense the anger simmering beneath the surface.
âYes,â you reply quietly. âAnd I... I donât know what to do. Iâm thinking about ending things with him, but I wanted to talk to you first. I thought... maybe it would help someone in this mess. At least one of us.â
Diegoâs jaw clenches, and he runs a hand through his hair in frustration. âUnbelievable,â he mutters through gritted teeth. âThat little shit.â He takes a deep breath, but it doesnât seem to calm him much; his fists are still balled at his sides. âI donât blame you for wanting to end things with him. I canât believe youâve put up with him for as long as you have.â
You offer a small shrug, feeling a mix of sadness and understanding. âI guess love makes you kind of stupid.â He goes quiet for a moment, staring off into the distance. âYeah...â
After a beat, he looks back at you, determination flickering in his eyes. âIâm gonna go talk to Lila,â he says. âSee you around?â
You nod, watching him turn and walk away, his movements tense and purposeful. Heâs trying to keep his composure, but itâs clear that anger is coursing through him, each step more forceful than the last.
You head back to your room, hoping Five is gone. After everything thatâs happened, it would be awkward to find him still there. As you climb the stairs, your mind races. Today has been a whirlwind. You and Five almost fucked again. You found out he still has feelings for Lila, which makes all his apologies feel meaningless. Now, youâre seriously considering ending things with him.
Just as you reach your bedroom floor, you hear shouting echoing down the hallway. Your heart quickens, the knot in your stomach tightening. You strain to listen, trying to make out the voices. Itâs unmistakably Diego, his tone sharp with anger. You canât make out what heâs saying, but itâs clear heâs furious.
And then, another voice cuts throughâLilaâs. Sheâs shouting back, her words a rapid fire of frustration and defense. Your breath catches. Shit. They must be arguing about Five. You creep closer, curiosity and dread warring inside you.
Then you hear another voice â Fiveâs.
âWe thought it would be better to just say itâs yours.â
Your heart skips a beat. What the hell is he talking about? You press yourself against the wall, straining to hear more, a knot of anxiety forming in your stomach.
âYou lied about the baby? Itâs not mine? What the actual fuck is wrong with you?â Diego yells.
Thereâs a moment of stunned silence, broken only by Lilaâs frustrated sigh. âI didnât lie,â she snaps back, her voice wavering between anger and defensiveness. âI justââ
âYou just what?â Diego cuts her off, his tone dripping with betrayal. âYou thought youâd trap me with a baby that wasnât even mine?â Fiveâs voice comes through, low and controlled. âIt wasnât like that, Diego. We thoughtââ
But Diegoâs anger flares hotter, his tone rising with each word. âI donât give a shit what you thought!â he snaps. âThis isnât just my life youâre fucking with here âthereâs a baby involved, and your wifeâs life is on the line, too. Do you even realize what youâve done?â
The room falls into a tense silence, the weight of Diego's words hanging heavy in the air. âDiegoâplease donât tell her,â Five says, obviously referring to you. You slap your hand over your mouth, feeling a mix of anger and disbelief. Does he really think youâre that naive?
Diego groans in frustration. âIâm not a shady bitch,â he snaps. âYou two are both fucking cheaters. You really are perfect for each other.â He turns to leave and, in doing so, catches sight of you. Your eyes widen in shock as you meet his gaze.
Diego chuckles darkly, shaking his head. âLooks like nobodyâs gonna need to tell her,â he says, pointing toward you. Fiveâs eyes slowly meet yours, his expression shifting from shock to a pained resignation. âFuck...â he mutters, running a hand through his hair.
Diego walks past you, giving your shoulder a pat before continuing down the hallway. You gulp, watching him go. As you turn to face Five and Lila, the reality of the situation hits hard. Lila is partially undressedâher shirt off but her bra and shorts still on. Itâs clear what they were up to before Diegoâs interruption. The sight confirms what youâve feared and felt all along.
Five steps toward you, his face a mask of anguish. âListen, Iââ
You cut him off, shaking your head in disbelief. âDonât fucking speak.â Your gaze locks onto Five, then shifts to Lila, your eyes narrowing with anger. Youâre furious with them both. They were both marriedâhow fucked up do they have to be in order to what to do this?
How fucked up are they in their heads, genuinely?
Itâs been a few days since the confrontation, and the tension in the house has been palpable. Everything feels strained and fragile. Youâve spent this time preparing for the next steps, including arranging the divorce paperwork. Now, with the documents in hand, youâre feeling a mix of anxiety and resolve.
You take a deep breath and head to where Five is. Heâs sitting alone, looking lost and distant. His posture is slumped, and he seems consumed by his thoughts.
âFive,â you begin, your voice trembling slightly. He looks up, his expression a mix of apprehension and sorrow.
âIâve arranged everything for the divorce,â you continue, holding out the papers. âI need you to sign these.â
Fiveâs eyes move to the papers, and you can see the conflict swirling within him. He takes a deep breath, clearly struggling with his emotions. âIâI canât sign these,â he says, his voice strained. âNot like this.â
You stare at him, frustration and hurt swirling inside you. âWhat do you mean you canât sign them?â you ask, your voice tight. He sighs deeply, his gaze falling to the floor. âIâm not ready to lose you,â he says, his voice cracking with emotion.
You let out a bitter laugh. âI think you lost me the moment you decided to fuck Lilaâand to top it off, get her knocked up.â
He sighs, his face a portrait of anguish. âI know I messed up. But canât we at least try to talk this out?â
You shake your head, your voice trembling. âI think weâre past talking, Five. You lied to me about the baby being Diegoâs and gave me nothing but empty apologies.â Your tears start to spill over. âHow could I ever trust you again?â
He reaches out to grab you, but you jerk away, your voice sharp and resolute. âI donât want your filthy hands on me ever a-fucking-gain.â Taking a deep breath, you hold up the papers. âYou can either sign them or not. It doesnât matter. Only one of us has to want to end the marriage. Itâs not like we have assets or anything.â
Fiveâs shoulders slump, the weight of your words visibly crushing him. He looks down at the papers, his expression a mixture of regret and resignation. âI see. So this is really happening,â he says quietly, more to himself than to you.
You stand firm, though your heart aches with the finality of the moment. âYes, it is,â you reply, trying to keep your voice steady.
He remains silent for a moment, then nods slowly. âAlright. Iâll sign them,â he says, his voice low and broken. He reaches for a pen and begins to sign, each stroke a painful reminder of what was lost. You watch him in silence, your emotions a tangled mess of anger, sadness, and relief. When he finishes, he slides the papers back to you, his gaze avoiding yours. You take them, feeling the finality of the act settle over you. âThank you,â you say, your voice barely above a whisper. âIâll take these to the lawyer.â
Five nods, not trusting himself to speak. As you turn to leave, you glance back one last time, your heart heavy with a mix of disbelief and sorrow. It's hard to think that the person standing before you was once the man you once loved so deeply. The reality that you had once been so intertwined with this person, now feels surreal.
As you're making your way back to your bedroom, you bump into Diego. He glances at the papers in your hands and raises an eyebrow. âYou made it official, huh?â he asks, his tone a mix of curiosity and empathy.
You nod, trying to keep your composure. âYeah, Just gotta take them to the lawyer.â Diego pauses, then asks, âWhoâs the lawyer youâre going to?â
You look at him curiously but provide the name. Diego nods thoughtfully. âIs he any good? I mean,â he says, running a hand through his hair, âIâm, you know, looking for someone so Lila and I can separate.â
Your eyes widen in surprise. âOh, yeah, heâs good. Really professional and straightforward.â Diego gives a relieved nod. âYeah, guess Iâll pay him a visit soon. Thanks for the info.â He pats your shoulder lightly before heading off toward his room.
As Diego walks away, you head back to your own room, feeling the weight of the day pressing heavily on your shoulders. The prospect of ending things with Five and the thought of Diegoâs own separation weigh on your mind.
You settle into your room, seeking a moment of solitude. The silence around you is both soothing and suffocating, a stark contrast to the chaos of the past few days. As you start packing your things, the task feels oddly cathartic, each item folded and placed into boxes representing a step toward closing this painful chapter of your life.
The process is slow and deliberate. You pick up a framed photograph from the nightstand, a snapshot of a happier time. The image of Five, with his easy smile and bright eyes, feels like a cruel reminder of what was once real. Is this really whatâs best? you wonder, your heart aching as memories flood back. You question whether youâre making the right choice, feeling a pang of doubt.
You carefully fold a sweater, the fabric soft against your fingers. Maybe thereâs a chance to fix this? You let the thought linger before shaking it away. The reality of Fiveâs betrayal, his affair with Lila, and the lies about the baby weigh heavily on you. How could you ever trust him again? The thought echoes through your mind, a painful but necessary reminder of why youâre doing this.
As you continue packing, you come across a small box of keepsakesâletters, trinkets from trips, and tokens of affection that once held so much meaning. Each item now feels like a relic of a past that no longer fits with your present reality. The sight of these mementos makes your chest tighten. Isnât it sad how something that once meant so much can become a symbol of heartache? you think.
You pause to take a deep breath, your emotions a tumultuous mix of anger, sadness, and resignation. Five used to be someone you believed in, you remind yourself. He was full of promise, of dreams and plans. But those promises mean nothing now, shattered by his deceit and betrayal. The framed picture of him, still smiling, feels like a lie, a facade that crumbled the moment he chose to be with someone else.
No, you tell yourself firmly. Five is a liar and a cheater. He betrayed you in the worst possible way, and his apologies were nothing but empty words. You cannot ignore the evidence of his deceit, nor can you overlook the fact that he has continued to deceive, even in the aftermath of everything thatâs happened.
The weight of the decision presses down on you. You think about the life youâve built together, the dreams you shared, and how those dreams have been tarnished. This is the right decision, you insist to yourself. It may be painful, but staying in this house, in this relationship, would only prolong the suffering. You deserve better than to be someoneâs second choice, a pawn in their misguided plans.
You take one last look around the room, the space that once felt like a sanctuary now stripped of its comfort. With a final sigh, you continue packing.
Itâs been a few days since Five signed the divorce papers. The act itself felt monumental at the time, like a heavy door slamming shut on a chapter of your life. Yet, in the days that followed, youâve felt more like youâre in limbo than moving forward. Youâve spent hours packing up your belongings, folding memories into cardboard boxes, trying to make sense of whatâs worth keeping and what needs to be left behind.
You arenât sure if Five is aware that youâre planning to leave the Hargreeves residence for good. Heâs been keeping his distance since that final conversation, but whether itâs out of respect or a desire to avoid confrontation, you canât tell. Part of you wonders if he even notices your absence from shared spaces or if heâs too wrapped up in his own guilt and shame to care. The uncertainty gnaws at you, and you hate it. You hate that after everything, you still find yourself thinking about himâabout what heâs thinking, feeling, and doing.
Itâs a cruel irony, you think, as you pull another sweater from the closet and fold it neatly. Despite all the betrayal and heartache, youâre still haunted by thoughts of him. You catch yourself wondering if heâs regretting his choices, if heâs truly sorry, or if heâs already moved on. You try to push these thoughts away, focusing instead on the task at hand, but itâs difficult. They keep creeping back in, uninvited and unwanted, like a song stuck in your head that you canât seem to shake.
You glance around the room, now half-empty, and feel a pang of sadness. This space, once filled with warmth and the echoes of shared laughter, now feels hollow. Itâs strange how quickly things can changeâhow a place that felt like home can become just a room, stripped of its meaning and significance. You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. Focus on whatâs next, you remind yourself. Not on whatâs been lost.
Still, as you move through the house, collecting the last of your things, you canât help but feel a mix of emotions. Anger, sadness, frustrationâall of them swirl inside you, a tempest that youâre struggling to keep contained. The thought of Five lingers at the back of your mind, a constant, nagging presence. Even now, after everything heâs done, you still find yourself wondering about him. It infuriates you.
Why do you still care what he thinks? Why does it still matter?
You want to be done with him, to close this chapter and move on with your life. But itâs not that simple. Love, even when tainted by betrayal, doesnât just disappear overnight. It clings to you, lingers in the quiet moments, and makes itself known when you least expect it. You suppose thatâs the hardest partâlearning to let go, not just of the person, but of all the hopes and dreams that came with them.
As you fold the last of your clothes, you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. You look tired, worn out. This whole ordeal has taken a toll on you, both physically and emotionally. You brush a stray hair from your face and take a deep breath. Yourâe doing the right thing, You deserve better.
You finish packing the box and tape it shut with a resolute sigh. You step back, surveying the room one last time. It feels surreal to think that this is itâthat after everything, youâre really leaving. You try to focus on the future, on the fresh start that awaits you, but your thoughts keep drifting back to Five.
What will he do when he sees youâre gone? Will he even care? The questions twist in your mind, and you feel a fresh wave of frustration wash over you. Why does it still matter? But deep down, you already know the answer.
Because you loved him. Because, despite everything, a part of you still does.
You shake your head, trying to clear your thoughts. You canât dwell on that now. You have to move forward, to think about whatâs best for you. And staying here, in this house filled with ghosts, isnât it.
Grabbing the last of your things, you head toward the door. As you step into the hallway, you pause, half-expecting to see Five coming around the corner, to hear his voice calling after you. But thereâs nothingâjust silence. And for the first time in days, you feel a small, fragile sense of relief. Maybe this is the beginning of the end. Maybe itâs the start of something new.
With a deep breath, you make your way down the stairs, each step feeling like a step toward a new chapter. You donât know what the future holds, but one thing is certain: itâs time to leave the past behind.
You make your way to the front door, a heavy box in your hands. Each step feels more final than the last, the weight of the moment sinking in. Youâve rented a moving van thatâs parked out front, its back door open and ready to receive the remnants of a life youâre leaving behind. Youâve found a small, cheap, but nice apartment across townâa place to start over. Itâs not much, but itâs perfect for what you need â an escape.
As you reach the door, you see Diego standing nearby. He catches sight of you struggling with the box and quickly steps forward, pulling the door open for you. âThanks,â you mutter, trying to keep your voice steady, though itâs clear he can see the exhaustion and sadness etched on your face.
He nods, his expression softening with understanding. âYou got any other boxes?â he asks, his voice low, but thereâs a warmth in itâa kindness that youâve come to appreciate over the past few days.
You hesitate for a moment, then nod. âYeah, a few more in the living room,â you reply, shifting the box in your arms slightly. âIâve been packing them up. This is the last of the stuff from upstairs.â
Diego takes the box from you effortlessly, holding it with ease. âIâll help you carry them out,â he offers. âNo sense in doing this alone.â
You give him a small, appreciative smile. âThanks, Diego,â you say, feeling a bit of the weight on your shoulders liftânot just from the box, but from the gesture itself. Heâs been a surprising source of comfort through all of this. Despite his own heartbreak, heâs been there for you, offering support without asking for anything in return.
Together, you walk back into the living room, where a few more boxes are stacked against the wall. Diego sets the box heâs carrying down and looks around. âYouâre really leaving, huh?â he says, more as an observation than a question.
âYeah,â you answer, a hint of sadness in your voice. âI think itâs for the best. Staying here⊠itâs just too hard.â Diego nods, understanding. âI get it,â he says softly. âSometimes, you just need to get away from the place that hurt you, start fresh somewhere new.â
You glance at him, seeing the shared pain in his eyes. Heâs been going through his own struggles, dealing with Lilaâs betrayal and the fallout from it. You feel a strange sense of camaraderie with himâlike youâre both navigating the same storm, even if in different boats.
He grabs another box, hefting it easily. âYou know,â he begins, his tone thoughtful, âif you ever need anything⊠if you ever want to talk or, I donât know, just get away from all this for a bit⊠Iâm here.â
His words are sincere, and you feel a warmth in your chest. âThank you, Diego,â you say again, your voice softer this time. âI really appreciate that.â He nods, giving you a small, reassuring smile. âNo problem. Weâve got to stick together, right?â
You nod back, a faint smile tugging at your lips. Itâs a small comfort, knowing that even in the midst of all this chaos, thereâs someone who understandsâsomeone whoâs willing to help you through it.
Together, you and Diego carry the rest of the boxes out to the van. The sun is starting to set, casting a warm, golden light over everything. It almost feels like the world is giving you a gentle nudge forward, encouraging you to keep going.
As you load the last box into the van, you turn to Diego. âI guess this is it,â you say, trying to keep your voice steady, though thereâs a hint of emotion in it.
Diego nods, looking at you with a mixture of empathy and encouragement. âYeah, I guess it is,â he replies. âBut remember, itâs not the end. Itâs just⊠a new beginning.â
You take a deep breath, letting his words sink in. âA new beginning,â you repeat softly, nodding. âYeah, I guess it is.â
He gives you a reassuring nod, then steps back, allowing you to close the vanâs door. As you turn to leave, he raises a hand in a casual salute. âTake care of yourself, okay?â
You nod, feeling a mix of gratitude and sadness. âYou too, Diego,â you say. âYou too.â
With that, you climb into the driverâs seat of the van. You take one last look at the Hargreeves residenceâthe place that has been your home, your prison, your battlefield. Then, with a deep breath, you start the engine and drive away, leaving the past behind as you head toward whatever comes next.
You've settled nicely into your new apartment. The place is small but cozy, with just enough room for the few belongings you took with you. Itâs quiet, tooâso much quieter than youâre used to. The silence, however, kills you.
At the Hargreeves residence, there was always noise, always something happening to keep your mind from wandering. Whether it was Klaus losing his mind over something as simple as misplacing a bottle of booze, or Allison laughing with Luther over some inside joke. There was Viktor playing the violin in the early mornings, his melodies filling the house with a kind of soft serenity. Even Diego and Lilaâs constant bickering had its own comforting rhythmâa mix of arguing and laughing that made the place feel alive. But now, in your new place, thereâs none of that. Just silence. Heavy, all-encompassing silence.
And then, of course, thereâs Five.
God, you miss him.
It hits you like a punch to the gut every time you think about it. You miss the way he would storm into a room, all sharp edges and quick wit, filling the space with his presence. The way his brow would furrow in concentration when he was deep in thought or working on one of his plans. The way his eyes would soften when he looked at you in those rare, unguarded moments when he allowed himself to be vulnerable.
You miss the sound of his voice, that low, smooth timbre that could shift from calm calculation to biting sarcasm in an instant. You miss the warmth of his touch, the way his hand would linger on your back, reassuring and steadying you. Even now, you can still feel the ghost of his touch, the way it sent shivers down your spine.
You hate how much you miss him. How, despite everything heâs done, every lie heâs told, every betrayal youâve suffered, you still find yourself longing for him. You hate the way your heart aches whenever you think of him, a dull, persistent throb that refuses to go away.
Itâs like thereâs a part of you that canât let go, no matter how hard you try. A part of you that still clings to the hope that maybe, just maybe, things could have been different. That maybe he could have chosen you, could have been honest with you, could have loved you the way you loved him.
But he didnât.
And now, here you are, alone in this quiet apartment, with nothing but your thoughts and memories to keep you company.
You try to distract yourself, to fill the silence with noise. You turn on the TV, but it feels hollow and meaningless. You play some music, but it only reminds you of the songs you used to listen to with Five, the ones you danced to in the kitchen late at night, laughing and spinning around like you didnât have a care in the world.
You try reading, but your mind keeps wandering back to him, to the way things used to be. To the life you thought you were building together.
Eventually, you give up and let the silence wash over you. You let yourself feel the weight of it, the emptiness that stretches out around you. You let yourself feel the pain, the loneliness, the heartache.
Because maybe thatâs the only way youâll ever be able to move on.
Maybe you just have to let yourself feel it all, let yourself grieve for what was and what could have been. Let yourself mourn the loss of a love that wasnât meant to be.
And maybe, one day, the silence wonât feel so heavy. Maybe one day, it wonât hurt so much.
But for now, you just sit there, alone in your quiet apartment, and let yourself miss him.
God, you miss him.
You think about what could have been if Five hadnât cheated.
Itâs a thought that creeps up on you more often than youâd like to admit, slipping into your mind in the quiet moments when youâre alone with your thoughts. What if he hadnât betrayed you? What if he hadnât gone back to Lila, hadnât lied to you about it, hadnât gotten her pregnant?
You close your eyes and let yourself imagine it for a momentâa different reality, one where things didnât fall apart. Where you and Five are still together, still living in the Hargreeves mansion with all its chaos and noise. You imagine waking up next to him, his arm draped lazily over you, his face soft and peaceful in sleep. Youâd watch him for a few moments, taking in the sight of him before he stirs awake, his eyes blinking open to meet yours.
In this imagined reality, thereâs no tension, no betrayal hanging between you. Thereâs only the love you felt for each other, warm and comforting like a blanket. Youâd start your days together, sharing quiet mornings with cups of coffee and stolen kisses. Maybe youâd argue about something sillyâFive always did have a way of getting under your skin with his stubbornnessâbut it would be the kind of argument that ends in laughter, in making up and teasing touches.
Youâd work together on whatever problems or missions came up, a seamless team. Five would still be his intense, driven self, always planning, always strategizing, but there would be moments of softness, too. Moments where heâd let his guard down just for you, where heâd let you see the parts of himself he kept hidden from everyone else.
Maybe youâd go out sometimes, just the two of you. Youâd walk through the city, hand in hand, sharing stories and secrets, feeling like the only two people in the world. And at night, youâd come home to the mansion, to the noise and the chaos, but it wouldnât matter. Because youâd have each other.
Youâd have a future togetherâa real future. One where you could imagine growing old with him, seeing the lines of age etch into his face, his hair going a little grayer, his body maybe slowing down a bit. But through it all, youâd still be by his side. Still his partner, his confidante, his love.
And maybe, just maybe, there would be a family. Not like the Hargreeves siblingsâa real family, a small one, made up of just the two of you and maybe a child or two. You can almost see it: a little boy with Fiveâs intense eyes or a girl with your smile, running through the halls of the mansion, bringing a different kind of noise to the place. You and Five would watch them grow, teach them, protect them, love them with everything you had.
But then reality crashes back in, shattering the fragile dream.
Because thatâs all it isâa dream. A fantasy of what could have been, what might have been if Five had made different choices. If he hadnât cheated, hadnât lied, hadnât chosen Lila over you.
Your heart aches with the loss of it, with the realization that the life youâre imagining was never real and never could be. You think about the way Five used to look at you, the way he held you like you were his whole world. You remember the promises he made, the plans you made together.
And then you remember the betrayal. The lies. The nights you spent alone, wondering where he was, what he was doing. The sick feeling in your stomach when you found out about Lila, the way your world crumbled around you when you realized heâd been lying to you all along.
The dream fades, replaced by the stark reality of your new life. Alone in your quiet apartment, far away from the noise and the chaos of the Hargreeves mansion, far away from Five and all the pain he caused.
Maybe itâs better this way, you tell yourself. Better to be alone than to be with someone who could hurt you so deeply, who could betray you so completely.
But still, you canât help but wonder. What if?
What if he hadnât cheated?
What if heâd chosen you?
What if things could have been different?
You know you canât change the past. You canât go back and rewrite history, no matter how much you wish you could. But the thought lingers, a quiet whisper in the back of your mind, a reminder of what might have been.
And as much as you hate it, as much as you want to move on and leave it all behind, you know itâs going to take time. Time to heal, time to forget, time to let go of the what-ifs and the could-have-beens.
You sigh, feeling the weight of it all settle over you once more. You turn on the TV again, hoping for a distraction, but your mind keeps drifting back to him, to what you had, to what youâve lost.
Maybe one day, youâll be able to let go of the past and move on. Maybe one day, youâll stop wondering what if.
But today isnât that day.
Today, you still think about him. About what could have been. About the life you could have had together.
And you canât help but miss him.
God, you miss him.
You sigh, the sound echoing softly in the silence of your new apartment. You glance around, taking in the sparse, unfamiliar surroundings. Itâs not much, but itâs yours. The walls are bare, the furniture minimalâjust the essentials. It still smells faintly of fresh paint and new beginnings, but thereâs an emptiness to it that you canât quite shake. The quiet is suffocating, a stark contrast to the constant noise and chaos of the Hargreeves mansion.
You lick your lips, your mouth suddenly dry. Whatâs he up to now? The thought slips into your mind before you can stop it. You hate that youâre still thinking about him, still wondering about him. But the truth is, you canât help it. Five has been a part of your life for so long that it feels strange not to know where he is, what heâs doing. The absence of his presence is a void that you canât seem to fill.
You imagine him back at the mansion, surrounded by the remnants of a life you once shared. Is he in his room, sitting in that old leather chair, sipping on whiskey and poring over some ancient book? Is he pacing the halls, his mind racing with plans and calculations, always thinking, always moving? Or is he in the kitchen, making himself a cup of coffee, his expression pensive as he stares out the window, lost in thought?
Maybe heâs with Lila. The thought makes your stomach twist. You can almost picture it: the two of them together, their heads close as they whisper and scheme. Maybe theyâre arguing, as they often did, their voices raised, filled with that strange blend of love and hate that seemed to define their relationship. Or maybe theyâre...you canât even bring yourself to think about it. The idea is too painful, too raw.
You shake your head, trying to push the thoughts away. It doesnât matter what heâs doing, you tell yourself firmly. Heâs not your concern anymore. He made his choice. And you made yours. You chose to leave, to start over, to try and build a new life without him. But even as you tell yourself this, you canât help but feel the ache of longing, the pull of what once was.
You wonder if heâs thinking about you too. If he regrets what happened. If he misses you. A part of you hopes he doesâthat heâs feeling even a fraction of the pain youâre feeling. But another part of you knows that it doesnât change anything. Regret wonât undo the betrayal. Missing you wonât mend the trust thatâs been broken.
You rise from the couch and move to the window, looking out over the city. Itâs a gray day, the sky heavy with clouds. The world outside feels distant, almost dreamlike, as if itâs moving on without you. You wrap your arms around yourself, trying to ward off the chill thatâs settled deep in your bones.
What is he doing right now? The question hangs in the air, unanswered. You imagine picking up the phone, dialing his number, hearing his voice on the other end. But you know thatâs not an option. Not anymore. Youâve made your choice, and heâs made his. Thereâs no going back.
Still, the curiosity nags at you, the wondering. Itâs a hard habit to break, the urge to know, to be connected. For so long, your life was intertwined with his, your days and nights filled with him. Itâs strange to think of a future without that, without him.
You turn away from the window, forcing yourself to move, to do something. Anything to distract yourself from the thoughts swirling in your mind. You start unpacking a box, pulling out books and setting them on the shelf, trying to focus on the mundane task in front of you. But your mind keeps drifting back to him, to the life you had, to the life you could have had.
Is he thinking about me? you wonder again. Does he miss me? You shake your head, trying to clear the thoughts away. You know you need to let go, to stop wondering, to stop caring. But itâs easier said than done.
You pause, holding a book in your hands, staring at it without really seeing it. You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. Itâs time to move on, you remind yourself. Time to focus on your own life, on your own future.
You havenât heard from any of the Hargreeves since you left. The silence is heavy, a constant reminder of the void that has opened up in your life. They were the closest thing to a family you had, a group of misfits who somehow fit together. Now, without them, you feel unmoored, drifting in a sea of uncertainty.
Your thoughts turn to the commissionâyour former employer, and in some twisted way, another kind of family. That was a lifetime ago. You left that world behind, hoping for something better, something more. But now, standing alone in your small, empty apartment, you wonder if you made the right choice.
The reality of your situation sinks in. You donât have a family outside of the Hargreeves. You were pulled into their orbit by Five, drawn into their chaotic world, and in a way, you found a place there. But now, youâre adrift again, and the loneliness is almost suffocating.
Your actual family, the one you were born into, is most likely not even in this timeline. The thought makes your chest tighten with a mix of frustration and sadness. You donât even know where they are or if theyâre alive. Time travel has its costs, and the disconnection from your roots is one of them. Even if you wanted to find them, thereâs no way to do it without the commissionâs help. And after everything thatâs happened, going back there is the last thing you want.
You rub your temples, feeling a headache starting to form. The isolation is starting to wear on you. Youâve tried to fill your days with work, with unpacking, with anything that might distract you from the gnawing emptiness. But no matter what you do, the thoughts creep back in.
What would it be like to switch timelines? you wonder. To find a world where things turned out differently, where you and Five never crossed paths, or where he never cheated, and you lived out the life you once imagined together. But those thoughts are just fantasies, just as unreachable as the timeline they belong to. Without the commissionâs technology, thereâs no way to hop between realities.
Even if there was, you know it wouldnât be as simple as that. Time and space are fragile, and messing with them comes with consequences. Youâve seen firsthand the damage that can be done by playing with the fabric of reality. And besides, running away to another timeline wouldnât change what happened here. It wouldnât heal the hurt or mend the trust thatâs been broken.
You sit down on the edge of your bed, the weight of your thoughts pressing down on you. You feel more alone than you ever have, even more than when you first joined the commission, or when you first found yourself thrust into the chaos of the Hargreevesâ world. At least then, you had something to hold onto. Now, you feel like youâre grasping at air.
You sigh, âI need some air.â
You stand up, the heaviness in your chest making it difficult to breathe. The walls of your apartment feel like theyâre closing in on you, the silence suffocating. The emptiness is overwhelming. You need to get out, to clear your head, to find some way to make sense of the mess your life has become.
Grabbing your coat from the hook by the door, you slip it on and head outside. The afternoon sun is high in the sky, casting warm rays that offer a sharp contrast to the cold, stagnant atmosphere of your apartment. The city streets are alive with activityâpeople bustling about, cars honking, vendors calling out to passersby. The noise feels overwhelming, but also oddly comforting. It reminds you that life goes on, even when yours feels like itâs standing still.
You start walking, not really sure where youâre going, just needing to move, to escape the thoughts that have been plaguing you. Your footsteps blend into the hum of the city, lost among the chatter and footsteps of others. You walk past busy storefronts and colorful cafes, the scent of freshly baked bread and brewing coffee filling the air. You pull your coat tighter around you, though the air is mild. The weight of your thoughts is what brings the chill.
What am I doing? you think to yourself. You feel a surge of frustration bubbling up inside you. How did I end up here?
As you wander, you find yourself heading towards a familiar placeâthe park where you used to go with Five. It was a favorite spot, a place where youâd both sit and talk for hours, sharing dreams and plans, back when the future felt certain. The memories are bittersweet now, but some part of you feels drawn to it, as if it holds some answers you canât quite reach.
You reach the park and make your way to a bench near the fountain, one you remember sitting on many times before. The sound of the water trickling into the basin is calming, a soft, soothing melody amidst the noise of the city. You sit down, staring out at the small pond, watching the ducks glide across the surface, the sunlight glinting off the water.
The afternoon sun casts long shadows across the ground, and the park is filled with peopleâjoggers, families, couples walking hand in hand. You watch them, feeling a strange mix of envy and detachment. They all seem so carefree, so unaware of the weight that you carry.
You close your eyes, taking a deep breath, trying to ground yourself in the moment. But then, out of the corner of your eye, you catch a glimpse of somethingâsomeoneâthat makes your heart skip a beat. You turn your head slightly, your breath catching in your throat.
Itâs Five.
Heâs across the park, sitting at a small outdoor cafĂ©, a cup of coffee in front of him. His head is down, focused on a book in his hands, his expression calm and absorbed. He looks different out here, in the daylight, without the familiar surroundings of the Hargreeves mansion. More relaxed, almost like the man you fell in love with. You feel a pang in your chest as you watch him, a mix of longing and hurt.
What is he doing here? Does he come here often?
You hesitate, torn between the urge to approach him and the instinct to turn and walk away. You know that seeing him will only reopen old wounds, but some part of you canât help but be drawn to him, like a moth to a flame. You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself, to calm the racing of your heart.
He looks up from his book suddenly, as if sensing your presence, and his eyes meet yours across the park. For a moment, time seems to stand still. You can see the surprise in his eyes, the flicker of recognition, followed by something elseâsomething softer, almost wistful.
Youâre not sure what to do, whether to stay or go, whether to speak or remain silent. Your feet feel rooted to the ground, unable to move in either direction. Five raises his hand in a small, hesitant wave, his expression cautious, almost hopeful.
You swallow hard, your emotions a tangled mess. You donât know what to say, what to do. Youâve imagined this moment so many times, and yet now that itâs here, youâre at a loss. You can feel your heart pounding in your chest, your breath coming in shallow bursts.
Finally, you take a step forward, then another, your movements slow and uncertain. Fiveâs eyes remain on you, watching your approach with a mix of anticipation and trepidation. You stop a few feet away from him, close enough to see the small details of his faceâthe faint lines of worry, the sadness in his eyes.
âHey,â he says softly, his voice barely above a whisper.
âHey,â you reply, your own voice trembling with emotion.
Thereâs a long pause, a silence that stretches out between you, filled with all the things you want to say but donât know how. You can see the regret in his eyes, the apology heâs trying to convey without words.
âDo youâŠwant to sit?â he asks, gesturing to the chair across from him.
You hesitate for a moment, then nod slowly, pulling out the chair and sitting down. The distance between you feels both vast and intimate, a strange mix of familiarity and distance.
Five looks down at his hands, then back up at you, his expression pained. âI didnât expect to see you here,â he admits. âIâve been coming here a lot latelyâŠthinking.â
You nod, not trusting yourself to speak. You donât know what to say, what to feel. Part of you wants to lash out, to demand answers, to make him feel the hurt youâve been carrying. But another part of you just wants to understand, to find some kind of closure.
âI miss you,â he says suddenly, his voice breaking the silence. âEvery day. I think about you, about us. About everything Iâve ruined.â
Your heart clenches at his words, his voice full of that quiet sincerity that used to melt your resolve. But now, all it does is stir the anger thatâs been simmering beneath the surface since the day you found out. You want to believe him, but the wounds are still too fresh, the betrayal still too raw.
âMiss me?â you scoff, your voice rising, unable to keep the bitterness out of your tone. âYou donât get to miss me, Five. You lost that right when you decided to screw around with Lila. And what about your baby? You want to talk about what youâve ruined? Look around. You did this. You chose this.â
Five's face contorts with pain, but he pushes through, his voice trembling. âLila⊠she lied about the baby.â
The words hit you like a physical blow, leaving you momentarily stunned. The sharp edge of your anger is blunted by shock.
You shake your head in disbelief. âSo the baby never existed? She lied?â
Five nods slowly, his eyes filled with deep sorrow. âYes. There was no baby. She told me it was a lie to manipulate me, to keep me from leaving.â
He looks down, his face falling further. He takes a sip of his coffee, making a face at the taste. He was always very particular about his coffee, and clearly, this one didn't meet his standards.
You feel overwhelmed, the weight of his confession settling heavily on your shoulders. âIâI donât know what to say, Five.â
He shakes his head, a mixture of resignation and frustration in his eyes. âIt doesnât matter,â he says softly. You sigh, your mind rushing, Should you even say this?
âIf Iâm being honest, I guess that Iâve missed you too.â
Fiveâs expression shifts, a flicker of hope and disbelief in his eyes. He seems to struggle with his emotions, clearly taken aback by your admission. For a moment, the tension between you both eases slightly, though the weight of everything thatâs happened still lingers heavily.
âYouâve missed me?â Five asks, his voice barely audible. Thereâs a vulnerability in his tone that makes your heart ache even more.
You shake your head, âDonât let that get to your head. We were together for years. Of fucking course I missed your dumbass.â
Fiveâs face falls slightly, his vulnerability giving way to a trace of hurt. He opens his mouth to respond but seems to reconsider, his words catching in his throat. He simply nods, a resigned look settling over him.
You continue, trying to keep your tone steady despite the flood of emotions. âDonât take that the wrong way. Itâs not about wanting to fix things or go back to how we were. Itâs just⊠hard to completely erase what we had.â
Fiveâs eyes are focused on the swirling coffee in his cup, his fingers drumming on the mug. âI understand,â he says quietly, as if trying to make sense of everything himself. A heavy silence stretches between you, filled with unspoken words and lingering emotions.
You shift uncomfortably, your mind racing. Was coming over here a mistake? you wonder. The weight of the conversation feels overwhelming, and you start to question whether reopening this wound was the right choice.
Breaking the silence, Five sighs heavily. âShe was kicked out of the house,â he says, his voice tinged with a mix of relief and sadness.
You look up, startled. âLila was kicked out?â The shock is evident in your voice. You had imagined many possible scenarios, but this wasnât one of them.
Five nods, his expression unreadable. âYeah. After everything that happened⊠Diego couldnât take it anymore. He asked her to leave.â
You pause, your mind racing. After a moment, you ask, âDo you not have feelings for her anymore?â
Five turns his gaze to the side, his face a mixture of frustration and regret. âI⊠Iâm not sure. I fucked up, really fucking bad. I donât think I deserve to feel any way about anything at this point.â
Five turns his gaze to the side, his face a mixture of frustration and regret. âI⊠Iâm not sure. I fucked up, really fucking bad. I donât think I deserve to feel any way about anything at this point.â
The honesty in his voice stings. You want to believe him, and you almost think you can see the sincerity in his eyes. But heâs lied to you before, What does this matter?
You sigh, trying to keep your voice steady. âIâm glad youâre finally starting to become self-aware. Itâs a start, at least.â You look at him, trying to gauge if there's any real change in him or if this is just another layer of his guilt.
Five shifts uncomfortably, his eyes avoiding yours. âI wish things could be different.â
âI do too,â you say, your voice soft as you look away.
The silence stretches out, filled with the weight of unspoken regrets and shattered dreams. You take a deep breath, fighting back the emotions threatening to overwhelm you. "I should go," you finally say, turning to leave.
Five nods, his face a mix of sorrow and resignation. As you walk away, you feel the sting of finality in every step. The distance between you grows, and with it, the painful realization that some wounds may never fully heal.
It really fucking sucks what Six Years, Five Months and Two days can do to a person.
Final Author's Notes: Starting off, I want to thank everyone for loving this fic. This fic was the first time I've really wrote angst -- and I had no idea that I would love writing it so much.
I had come up with the idea for this literally the day I posted part one -- but the ending was completely different. Reader was supposed to stay with Five and work things out, but after seeing how people reacted -- I decided to adapt and change some things. I really like how this ended, (UNLIKE THE SHOW)
and given that I will be writing a happy Five Fic / oneshot coming within the next few days bc season 4 was fucked up :P
#sbs posting#five hargreaves x you#five hargreeves#five x lila#five x reader#tua five#tua s4#tua season 4#five hargreaves x reader#five x y/n#angst#hargreeves siblings#tua fandom#tua fanfic#tua#the umbrella academy season 4#tua s4 spoilers#umbrella acedmy#the umbrella academy spoilers
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Iâm gonna work on the alt endings this week, I started on the five alt ending and then lost inspiration so fast đ§đŒââïž so hopefully I CAN FINISH THIS ALT ENDINGS YUHHH
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Summer Time! Opening a bottle of Fizzy Faz in celebration, cheers!
#sundrop#fnaf daycare attendant#sun fnaf#skizabaa scribbles#fnaf#fnaf sb#fnaf sun#finally free from coursework. we post celestial themed jester bots now đȘđȘđȘ#fnaf dca
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This is so funny to me. Reducing them down to their simplest attributes. Turning them into symbols.
#this is some bouba kiki shit#also!! i said this in the tags of another post but i've finally gotten to the point in my op reread where i've hit the moment#when i stopped reading op back in like 2014#that's almost ten years ago holy shit!!!! wild#i know a lot of what happens in later arcs bc i've been keeping up with the op fandom online#but it's weird to be reading chapters that i've never read before... new and fresh op content#(i stopped reading around chapter 750 btw)#(and this is from the sbs at the end of chapter 757)#one piece#zosan#kk talks about stuff#kk talks about op
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Reblog this to blast your sleepy mutual with the forbidden super melatonin
Different versions because it's a vibe
#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf sb#fnaf security breach#daycare attendant sun#daycare attendant moon#fnaf sun#fnaf moon#dca fandom#dca#my art#shitpost#shit post#me: i want to participate in a zine so i need to practice more#my practice:
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Chuuya's reaction to Dazai getting hurt during the Lovecraft fight has always been so interesting to me...
Because it's the kind of worry you'd never expect from a character as gruff as Chuuya, who had displayed nothing but hostility towards Dazai so far. Usually, characters that are labelled as "angry" or "anger issues" (which Chuuya is much more complex than that but you get my point) act more as a tsundere type of way when the one they "don't care about" gets hurt. And show their care in very, very subtle ways (ex. their eyes widen, their mouth parts and closes again, etc) before putting up their front once more.
Chuuya, however, is open, and vocal about it. His worry is clear not only to us, but to Dazai himself, the one he shouldn't be displaying the concern to (as per the cliche). Shouldn't it be some sort of secret that Chuuya does care? Isn't that what skk's dynamic has been shaping up to be until now?
I'm telling you- the way my mind blanked when Chuuya just casually.... showed concern not once, but twice, was a sight to see.
Besides, the context makes it much more confusing, because Dazai isn't some rookie, and Chuuya knows that more than anybody. He was the youngest executive in Port Mafia's history, of course he can handle a hit or two. Of course he'd seen him handle a hit or two, sometimes without batting an eye.
Heck, Chuuya himself was hurling Dazai like a ragdoll in their reunion, which was their last meeting. And you could argue that he was going easy on him, but Dazai has mostly withstood the same damage (as far as I could see), and Chuuya was as bitter as ever.
So that kind of contradicts both what we knew of Chuuya so far, and how their dynamic was shaped to be. I mean, that just makes Chuuya a hypocrite, yeah? What makes him care now, all of a sudden? What makes him care at all?
Well, to me, this backasswards reaction implies one (or more) of the following:
- Dazai rarely got physically hurt during their partnership and thus this is an unexpected thing for him to see (during a mission).
- The four years of separation made Chuuya unsure of how much Dazai can withstand physically now. Also the fact that he isn't in the mafia anymore, aka fighting enemy organizations on the weekly, would naturally make Dazai lose his touch in a way, what prompts Chuuya's reaction.
- Dazai getting taken off guard took him off guard which led to panic. Especially since the situation was (momentarily) out of their depth. Seriously wtf even was Lovecraft?
- During the dungeon scene Dazai was an enemy, while in the Lovecraft fight he was as an ally. The difference might be significant to Chuuya.
- This has always been Chuuya's reaction to Dazai getting hurt regardless of the situation.
- "Only I can hurt him like that" ahh logic
- Asagiri was still experimenting with their dynamic and thus there are some inconsistencies.
This scenario didn't play out again (after their reunion) for me to exactly determine which one is more plausible, but it is 100% canon for Chuuya to shamelessly show his concern and run to Dazai to check on him before properly dealing with their opponent, which I find to be such an appealing layer to their dynamic, and a good spin on the type of character he gets stereotyped as.
Bonus: Dazai also becomes a softy when Chuuya's hurt, especially post corruption. Dead Apple alone displays that multiple times.
All in all, Skk are doing a terrible job at maintaining their 'hostile' and 'antagonistic' relationship post their reunion. Freaks.
#I was too lazy to scour throgh SB and 15 and find Chuuya getting worried again which might prove the last points#tho I think they're the most unlikely#I love them displaying these sort of things openly#for Chuuya it's just natural to be concerned#it's natural to say 'because I trusted you'#and while Dazai isn't as expressive with his care#he never cowers away from calling Chuuya 'partner' after 4 years#or express that how he saved him was 'beautiful'#these things come so easily for them you wonder why they're even labelled as rivals at all#you *can't* give a clear label on their relationship#friends? they hate each other. Rivals? they care about each other. Partners? they haven't been for 4 years.#each one you put on gets contradicted at one point#and that's the beauty and fun of it#thanks for coming to my TED talk#bsd#bungou stray dogs#chuuya nakahara#dazai osamu#bsd chuuya#bsd dazai#skk#soukoku#bsd analysis#bsd headcanon#bsd headcanons#skk analysis#bsd meta#J's post#J's writing âđœ
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#fnaf security breach#fnaf sb#fnaf#gregory fnaf#vanessa fnaf#glamrock freddy#3 star fam#comic#my art#HELLO i have not posted anything fnaf in a whILEE#this idea came to me in the night and i just HAD to do it#i was going at a pace of 2 pages per day which was driving me INSANE#why are comics so hard to make
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