#saying this bc i know if i got him anything he'd wear it until it physically fell off of him

[hikeyzz]

he's not a collar or even harness kinda guy but i want to make him mine so so bad i feel like i gotta look into rings that look like collars or have my initial or something bc i cannot have this man walking around without any marking he's mine until the day we get married that simply is not gonna fly

[mydr3aminvi0let]

i wear a lot of skirts and pink and whatnot as my style has developed with me & my personality but when one of those age regression girlies latch onto me....i do not like that

[celestie0]

jjk men reaction to lingerie & also what kind they like most.

helloooo i was bored and wanted to write headcannons for how the jjk men would react when they see you in lingerie and also which types of lingerie would have them acting up lol

➸ incudes nanami, gojo, toji, geto, choso, sukuna ✩ cw. nsfw, sexual content, bdsm/pain (just bc of sukuna)

nanami kento. thigh-high stockings & lace robes

this man loooooves lingerie on his woman. he'd definitely be the one that bought like all of the sets that you have in your wardrobe. it's a ritual to him where he buys you a nice dress with some matching stockings for date nights, he takes you out to an expensive restaurant and has you sittin' pretty across from him, you're teasing him with a show of your lingerie underneath any chance you get until he just can't take it anymore and he's fucking you in the restaurant bathroom. he likes waking up in the morning and seeing you do your hair or your makeup with a nice lace robe on, it's romantic but erotic at the same time. it's also sooo territorial for him that the clothing that's covering the most intimate parts of you have been purchased and chosen by him.

gojo satoru. see-through stuff & bowties

gojo likes lingerie, he always thinks it's a nice surprise, i don't think he would explicitly ask you to wear it but it always gets a reaction out of him when you do. definitely the type of guy to be like 'babe you look soooo sexy in this, but you know when you look your sexiest? when you're wearing nothing at all' and he thinks he's being flattering when in reality you're upset because you spent so much time picking something out that you thought he would like. and then when he sees you're upset, he starts backtracking like 'nooo, i mean, you look sexiest covered up' and then now you're offended. and he never ends up getting laid that night. he would so love the little bowtie across the tits that he gets to pull loose because he thinks it's cute you're like a present for him.

toji fushiguro. crotchless panties & thongs

listen, i really cannot imagine this man caring much for lingerie at all. he probably thinks it's useless and he would ruin all your favorite sets anytime he's tryna fuck because he's too impatient and rough with the flimsy little things. you're whining because he just tore through your favorite cute lace panties and he's saying something like 'anything that stands between you and me fucking you has got to go, sweetheart'. if you ask him to buy you some for valentine's day or something, he'd think you're joking. one day he sees you wearing a thong underneath your low-rise jeans and it awakens something visceral in him, and that ends up being pretty much the only lingerie he ends up liking on you. also, random, but toji's definitely the type to tell you to keep your heels on when he's got you otherwise completely naked and is fucking you.

geto suguru. corsets & garter belts

of all the jjk men, geto would probably be the most appreciative and responsive to seeing you in lingerie. he'd be so sweet when he sees that you've worn something sexy under your clothing like you wore this just for me, my love? and he'd play with you, ask you to do a little twirl or a dance for him to show it off before he's got you on the bed. he's into the classics like the full garter belt set or bustiers/corsets that show off your figure. he's the type to keep it on during sex, just slide the fabric to the side when he wants to fuck you or pull it up or out of the way if he wants access to your tits. he looooves when you send him nudes all dolled up at home while he's out somewhere, counting the minutes until he can get home to you. he'd also be into that boudoir photoshoot stuff, he thinks lingerie is an art form and it really turns him on.

choso kamo. slip dresses & babydolls

i feel like choso would have reaaaally old-fashioned taste in lingerie, he's into slip dresses and vintage stuff, not so much the really lacy or obviously sexy stuff. he would get so worked up seeing you in something like a silk nightgown while you're getting ready for bed or tidying up the room and just comes up behind you to pet at the fabric and the way it clings to your curves. he's also into babydolls, which is probably because that's his exact pet name for you, and anytime you wear one around him just to be a tease he's like dissociating all day because he can't stop thinking about fucking you senseless in the frilly thing. he'd ultimately take any sort of lingerie/clothing off when you two get down to it because he's into fully naked you the most, but something about leaving a lot to the imagination before that just drives him crazy.

ryomen sukuna. bdsm lingerie & chokers

honestly i was like would sukuna even like lingerie...but i think he'd be into anything that has chokers, chains, belts, straps, he'd definitely be into those type that don't cover any part of your tits. you'd bring him a pair of cute fuzzy handcuffs one day and he thinks it's ridiculous before chaining you to the bed and playing with you all night long until you're squirming and squealing underneath him. he likes the lingerie as more of an accessory where it looks like you've been tied and wrapped up just for him, pulling and releasing at the straps so they snap against you and there are red marks on your skin from the outline of your lingerie the next day. any color other than black would be unacceptable. i could honestly see anything that was overly frilly or lacy would be a massive turn-off for him and he'd rather you just be naked.

[cloudluvrrr]

what brings you here?

—18th century france brainrot

a/n: these r headcanons + drabbles :P doesnt make sense but hope u like it :D

-- neuvillette x heir(ess) reader (implied fem reader bc i love poofy dresses and accessories)

Souce d'espoir - Miharu Koshi ⋆ ˚｡

You were the heir of your familes fortune, their only child. Part of one of the big noble families in france.

Neuvillette is a politician, who spends most of his time away in his office. But somehow you two found each other and were to be wed.

-

-It benefitted both families so your family agreed.

-it took you awhile, you wanted to court a prince your age from another kingdom. Yet your family found him, of course it was terrible the first few times you'd met. Either refusing to see him altogether or just ignoring him. Eventually you warmed up to him, yet he was always loving towards you.

-he often sends you flowers from across the seas, dresses of the newest fashion, heels, anything you desire.

-

in your room as your maids tied up your corset and brushed your hair, eventually hearing a knock.

Your head perked up at the sound, "let them in". Your maids obeyed letting in your lover, as her smile widened. "what are you doing here?" you asked as your maids left you two alone. "and what have you got there?" you asked once more in a curious tone as he handed you a small box, "its a surprise for you".

It was of course a new broach with a small smile you placed it in the center of your dress. "You know me so well..." you admired the delicate broach in the mirror, as he took the laces to your corset. "may I?" he asked "oh! of course it slipped my mind" you nodded. Looking into the intricate mirror as he focused on lacing your corset.

"what brings out of your office neuvillette"

"you of course, why else?" he utters with a small chuckle kissing your bare shoulder.

"Wanted to see me before the party?"

"I wanted to make sure you wore the dress I'd imported" he replied in an amused tone, delicately lacing the dress.

"How could I not? it fits the theme perfectly" you say looking into the mirror, looking over at him "and your wearing the tie i got you" you added with a smile

"we're matching" he whispered kissing you.

-

-there are many tea parties, and extravagant parties celebrating your proposal and marriage.

-during those parties he'd often sneak you away to your private gardens.

-

Your arm around his elbow as you two walked in a comfortable silence around the moonlit garden. "Don't you think the parties are a little much Sir-" you stop yourself, you often have to remind yourself to not address him formally from now. He was your fiancé now "..neuvillette" you finish sheepishly looking away. He gave a chuckle and gently brought your gaze back to him "you forget don't you?"

"sometimes"

"more like all the time beloved"

"hush" you say with a small laugh as you hug his arm

"anything interesting today? Besides our marriage of course"

you ask, both of you coming to a stop at a small secluded area. "Not much, much of the politics are the same with the queen and all" he replied sitting beside you on the bench and admiring your features, as you settle your gaze onto the small pond with lilies delicately floating a top. "I see" you nod slowly as you played with the small ring on your finger. "nothing to worry your pretty little head about darling" he whispered against your outer ear, placing a gentle kiss on it. As you slightly flinch away "it tickles" you say slightly giggling

"does it?" he asked tilting his head and gently tracing the shape of your ear as you giggle moving away, and he continues to tease you until the party ended.

--

-he'd paid for the entire wedding, letting you have the wedding of your dreams. In return for perhaps not marrying the man of your dreams.

--

"you like this one" he asked in thought admiring the ring you'd chosen, for him to place on your finger on your special day.

"yes, its simple. Sapphires, on silver... Simple yet elegant.. It reminds me of you"

you said to yourself with a smile, comparing the ring to his clothes.

"is that all you think of me? Blue and silver beloved? Not a political figure, who can dictate your life? A simple man?" he asked taking the ring from you

"when you put it that wa-" you begin before he interrupts gently takes your chin and kisses your lips.

"if thats how you see me I don't quite mind"

--

-A year had passed since the announcement of your wedding, and now that day had passed. Your family had reserved a get away for you two, well they lent you their summer house for the next two weeks.

--

"Never thought i'd fall in love with you"

he'd looked up from his paper work, removing his reading glasses "what?"

"I wanted to choose my lover, not for my parents too. Yet here I am"

a small sigh coming from your lips as you face him. "I'm glad its you"

he gets up to stand by your side to admire the lake, as he pecked your lips.

"Was it my gifts that convinced you?"

"part of it" you laugh hugging his side and admiring the view, and the sound of the waves crashing against the shore. And you wouldnt have it any other way.

-

Fun fact I never got past the raiden shogun fight in genshin BUT GYAT DAMN NEUVILLETTE 😍😍😍‼️‼️ i was inspired BY THIS ARTIST ON TWTIWER i love their art its so yummy. i dont play genshin anymore but OH MY GOD 😔😔😔 i had to whip out the wiki. ALSO I MADE IT AESTHETICC now i gotta edit all my dumb posts ugh

might expand on this idea pookies :P but hope u liked it <333

-- 💫

[justrikiss]

hiii i was wondering if you could do a fic where reader and dally are at bucks drinking and having fun and reader is sitting on dallys lap while he plays poker or something with some random guys and she's just so fixated on his hands. like, she's playing around with the rings on his fingers, playing with his fingers, tracing his veins, anything. and dally being his cocky self is like "you sure do like my hands, huh doll?" and she gets all shy and clingy and stuff and after awhile they eventually go up to dallys room and cuddle (sorry if this is too specific lmao😣)

handsy - dallas winston

in which: yn just can't stop playing with dallas' fingers..and of course he notices. requested by @mattdillonwhore

a/n: no bc I ACTUALLY LOVE THIS IDEA.. i feel like dallas would def get so cocky to yn cause it's literally his nature?? also he loves to see yn get flustered or embarrassed IT'S JS SO DALLAS CODED. PLEASEE send more reqs i actually love this SO MUCH. also warning there's a lil makeout scene but nothing too crazy😋! this ff is so much shorter than my other one wtf i did not execute properly..

being at buck's was nothing out of the ordinary for you and dally on the average night. drinks getting passed around, red neon lights filling the atmosphere, the smell of cigarettes lingering in the air, it was all a regular for you and dallas.

you sat on dallas' lap as he played poker with some other guys from the town. trying to fixate on something so you wouldn't be so bored you fell asleep, your eyes landed on to dally's hands.

something about his hands attracted you..the rings on his fingers and the veins leading up to his bicep, all of it tempted you in a way. you began to just play with his rings, turning them and examining them.

and this wasn't something new either, dallas was very used to you finding interest in his rings. hell, sometimes he'd even let you wear them. not for long though.

then your eyes trailed up to his veins, slowly running your fingers over each one of them, following the path they led up to his arms. and you did this to each one, taking what seemed like mental notes in your head about his veins. which one was bigger, which one felt best, which was your favorite, and all things related.

dallas kept an intense focus on his poker game though, his bets were important to him and he hadn't really realized what you'd occupied yourself with.

that was until he shifted his attention to you for a moment, examining how you'd play with his rings and trace his veins. finally, he spoke "didn't know my hands were that interesting. you sure do like 'em, huh doll?"

your stomach dropped and cheeks flushed as you'd heard dallas. you moved your hands back onto your lap as well. "no need to be shy, it's alright. nothin' but you gettin a little handsy, can't say i don't like it doll." dallas smirked. his cockiness was apparent to you, only making you even more flustered than before. dallas' smirk only deepened, turning into a cocky grin.

"dallll" you whined, looking down at your lap. dallas let out a laugh as he raised your chin "look at me doll." he smirked. you looked at him as he pulled you into a kiss. he only deepened the kiss as you two sat there.

"hey man, get a room!" one guy from the other side of the table yelled, causing you two to split apart. "alright alright, not my fault i just wanna show some lovin' to my broad." dallas said putting his hands up in defeat. "if you're gonna suck faces then get outta here" another guy added, throwing his poker chips onto the table "hey man watch your tone with me, alright? you probably wish this was you huh?" dallas snapped back at the guys. you knew this was your queue to intervene before things got serious as the man stood up yelling to dallas a little louder.

"dal, let's just go upstairs to your room alright? he's not worth fighting for." you said to dallas, putting your hands on his chest and pushing him back. "yeah yeah, man i hate guys like that..total jerks you know? man he's lucky you stopped me, cause if not i would've-" "enough dal." you interrupted him mid sentence, sensing that he was only starting to grow annoyed.

dallas let out a huff before he'd raised his head, as if a lightbub went off in his head. "hey, now i remember why we're even up here" he said, opening the door to his room. "someone couldn't keep her hands to herself, ain't that right? ya like my hands, doll?" his new york accent rang thick as he spoke. the flushed expression had returned to your face, looking down to your feet to avoid eye contact with dallas.

"c'mere" dallas said, sitting on his mattress. you did as he said as he pulled you into his lap, immediately kissing you. the kiss became more passionate by the moment, dallas letting his hands roam around his waist as you wrapped your hands around his neck and played with his hair.

this lasted for what seemed like forever before you'd both pulled away, nearly gasping for air.

"let's go to bed dal" you said, plopping down beside him on the mattress. "yeah, y'know maybe when you sleep you'll even dream about my hands." dallas joked as he laid beside you, wrapping his arms around you. "haha very funny..night dal." you slurred before falling asleep. "night, doll." dallas replied, drifting off just as you'd done.

[voxisdaddy]

Cowboy Sweetness

Fandom: Helluva Boss

Pairing: Striker x Reader

Type: Headcanons | Fluff

C/TW: none other than the fact that it's kind of long cuz I love Soft and Fluffy Striker so much <3

In which Striker is soft with Reader ♥︎

omg my baby girl Striker ૮꒰ྀི >⸝⸝⸝<꒱ྀིა thank you for the request @/newleaf92 (tag bc of an oopsie) REPOST BC LAST ONE GOT SHADOWBANNED

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Striker is not a soft guy, that's just a fact. He's ruthless, cruel, arrogant, prideful, and rough. And he intends to stay that way-not that he thought he could be anything else. Until you came along.

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Things were understandably slow at the beginning of your relationship. These feelings and this type of relationship was very new to him. On top of that, he cared about you a lot so he was determined not to fuck up at some point. But even at the beginning, when he seemed repulsed by affectionate acts and words, he was still soft. He was aware of this because again, he cared about you a lot and knew he didn't wanna fuck up-or "fumble it" as some people nowadays say. So he tried to show subtly that he cares about you as his partner.

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Which was by holding doors open for you, cleaning himself up a bit before visiting you, and when walking with you his tail would be rounding you from behind-a subtle way to keep you close and protected. He is a wanted man after all.

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ He still does those things even now, as long as you've been together by now and as more comfortable he is being affectionate and sweet with you-but theirs so much more now.

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ When he teaches you to ride Bombproof, if anyones near and you're wearing something with a skirt, he'll take off his hat to cover your behind as you mound or get off Bombproof. And the entire time he's teaching you, he's got a hand on both you and the horse. Gotta keep ya steady and that won't be possible unless Bombproof is also steady. Afterwards, only if you're alone, he' help you off Bombproof. He actually feels quite prideful of it. Look at him, helping his partner off Bombproof with his hands firmly on your waist. If you thank him with a kiss on the cheek he's gonna be smirking all proudly.

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Loves it when you lay on his chest. You could be snuggled up on the couch or the bed, doesn't matter, as long as you're both comfy he needs you to be laying your head on his chest. It makes him feel like he's your protector and that you need him. Both is true.

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ He takes care of ya when you're sick. Will sleep on the couch until you're 100% better. He can't risk getting sick due to his job so unfortunately you'll be sleeping apart for several days. It bothers him more than he'd ever admit. He didn't know when it happened but at some point he grew used to sleeping with you next to him every night and kind of relies on it to sleep good.

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Which takes us to when he's out on a job. His time away from home varies from job to job. Some hits can be done and over with over a course of a day, others can take several days-weeks even.

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ It's hard on both of you, but you both hang onto little things to keep the other close, theoretically speaking. He's very careful about it though because the last thing he wants is the wrong people finding out about you. Being with him already puts you at risk, like it or not, you guys need to be a secret-he insists.

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Most dates are private. For safety reasons and plus come on, some couple alone time is always good. Some dates he'll take you to a place he found while out a job. It's usually some place secluded. He always makes sure to check around before bringing you there however, just in case theirs any dangers lingering about that he should deal with-or for your sake, avoid all together.

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ His favourite dates are when he can just relax with you. Sure you guys can do that at home, but the change of scenery is nice sometimes. His favourite date so far is when you guys went to a large tree and just sat underneath it. Usually you always lean on him when you cuddle and lay together, but that time he was the one on you. His head on your lap as you ran your fingers through his white, rough hair. His hat he had tipped over his head to hide eye tired eyes from you.

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ "Striker~ You're falling asleep."

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ "I'm relaxin my eyes, darlin'. Ever hearda relaxing?"

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ He fell asleep.

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Oh well. I recommend not teasing him about it later because he will make sure you don't comb your fingers through his hair again for a very long time.

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ He needs the sleep though. He works on his own schedule, which isn't bad per say, but his sleep schedules all over the place. Sometimes he'll sleep only a few short hours and sometimes it'll be like 14 hours. I'm not kidding. He does make an effort for you though because you're his darlin'! Especially since he's gotten to the point where he needs you there to sleep good.

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ So you let him sleep for a little while. Not too long-don't wanna ruin his sleep schedule even more.

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ I love soft striker so much, I always think about holding his hand and that's it. Just holding it. He'll let you, usually sitting behind you so you don't have to see his flushed face.

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Panics when you cry. He'll immediately rush to you and try his best to sooth you. It was very awkward when it first happened, it still is awkward but it's kind of different now. I don't know how to explain it but an improvement is I guess what we'll call it.

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Even if you're the one fussing over him when he comes home injured, once he notices you getting teary eyed, he's quickly apologizing. What for? Who knows but stop crying you're freaking him out :(

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ I feel like Striker's the type of guy to have a special way of saying I love you to you. He isn't a man of words so all his affections are done via action. I can think of a couple ways he'd say 'I love you'. Got the usual gentle hand squeezes, thigh squeezes, ect,. Sometimes they get...sweeter though. A sweet kiss on the lips-not a peck or heated kiss with the intent to go further. Just a sweet kiss then gazing into your eyes before he goes off to do whatever it is Striker does lol 💖

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ The first time he said it though? Weirdly enough was after an argument. He asked you to get him some water before he left on a hit and you came out with a cup of ice and said "wait". He would've been annoyed-and he was for a second-but then he started chuckling and pulled you in for a hug. "I love ya, darlin'!"

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Random soft Striker moment: you were baking and Striker was being oh so helpful (he wasn't, he was just hanging around to be near you) leaned in close to press a kiss to your head.

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Come on-if he did that to me I'd instantly be so in love like omg ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა I already am in love but like I'd fall so hard I'd have no choice but to dig

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ In my head, Striker and his s/o is the Grumpy x Sunshine ship trope-aka my favourite ship trope ♡

The request was asking for Striker being soft with that one person but due to an error and a fumble on my keyboard, it published way too early. Sorry about that

૮꒰ づ˶◡﹏◡˶꒱აづ

[prettyboykatsuki]

keep me close to you | i. yoichi

✮ tags ; childhood best friends to lovers / idiots to lovers, reader is implied to have grown up a tomboy, stereotypical shoujo manga tropes rip, reader wears makeup, a lot of sexual tension, kissing, confessions 18+

✮ wc ; 3.6k (i don't know. don't ask me.)

✮ a/n ; the worlds most self-indulgent horseshit in the world. sorry! but im not at all actually. this is the very typical 'i didn't see you that way until i realize i did the whole time.' bc i love that trope and i love isagi ok....

reader in this kind of feels awkward in her femininity and that appears in the fic more than once!! please be forewarned.

✮ synopsis ; isagi has never seen you as much more of a friend. so he thought at least.

Isagi is in love with you.

He isn't sure when that happened. He'd love to be know but in all truth - there was never any big eureka moment that made such a thing apparent. If Isagi had to think of all the moments he maybe, sort-of, possibly loved you, they come up to him as bits of nothing-much memories.

That's exactly the problem, really. A long few years of little nothings, accumulated over time, Isagi finds that his whole life has been made up of you. There was no grand gestures of confessions or singular standout moments for him to mull over.

But there was rough-housing with you back when your hair was a little shorter and your chest a little less noticeable. And there was plenty of bike races to the store for ice-cream, and lots of bonding over music you both liked. Isagi remembers sitting on your floor in the 6th grade and watching you play video games much better than he ever could.

A lot that stuff persisted into your teen years, and even into adulthood. Isagi has never thought of it as weird. Play fighting or bike races or being reckless together felt natural - and in some ways, you were the only person who ever brought that out of him.

It was normal. You were friends and you got along as friends. Isagi never thought about it any more than that.

Just a few months ago, you got a boyfriend. Said boyfriend didn't think your friendship with Isagi was entirely appropriate. He had approached Isagi first. You talked to Isagi after, said you'd still hang out but no more rough-housing and that was that.

Isagi had heard about your boyfriend, though you didn't talk about him much. And after meeting him, it was easy enough to conclude that he was genuinely a good guy. Objectively good for you, accepting of your personality, kind and thoughtful. A good stable job There was nothing bad he could say about him. He wished there was.

"Just the being touchy. I know you two don't think anything of it since you've been friends for so long," He leans in, friendly, as he pats Isagis shoulder "But you wouldn't like if your girlfriend was being touchy with another guy right?"

Isagi had nothing to say. He'd never thought about. Never had a proper girlfriend, though he was interested in a few girls. He'd lost his virginity out of the country and had some hook-ups and talking stages. Never a girlfriend.

Would it bother him? He couldn't say. He didn't know who to think of. There was not a hypothetical girl he could conjure to give him a conclusion. Ultimately dazed, Isagi had replied with something along the lines of "Yeah man, I get it," and then left for practice without turning his back.

It bothered him for weeks. He couldn't do anything without pondering that very question. He couldn't stop thinking about the way he'd described you as his girlfriend. You'd always been a friend, and Isagi knows you as a girl. But you're you before that, and he's never quite put both things next to each other.

But he'd never even thought to look at you as a girlfriend. He brushed off such comments and so did you. You were his friend. One of the very best. You'd know each other until you die, and in a way - this is just proof of your next stage of life. You'd settle down with a partner and so would he and everything would be fine.

But, the thing was - he'd never actually conjured up the future. There was never any assured belief that you'd go and find someone to nest with so soon. It felt unnatural. Disorienting. There was an order to this strange and mad world and your relationship went against it.

Even in thinking that, it'd take Isagi weeks to figure out the extent of his feelings. Weeks of practicing, of going on group dates with his team, of drinking. Weeks of missing you. Being conscious of the sudden absence of his very best friend in the world. You still saw him but it was no longer every other day. And you still called and texted, still told him stupid stuff about your life.

But he'd go on Instagram and see pictures of you from someone else's account. You'd be wearing something he'd never seen you in before. It was pretty. You were prettier. He'd never thought about that before, if only to say that you were and always had been. And plenty of guys had noticed in highschool, too. He'd never thought about it then either.

Isagi had never really considered a lot of things. It didn't dawn on him that he loved you until Bachira pried the information out of him one night on the road.

("Yocchan is stupid,"

Isagi leans on the bench in the locker room and frowns, throwing a confused look Bachira's.

"What the hell? For what?"

It's not Bachira who tells him the information - but Rin, who walks towards his own locker with a tired expression and a towel around his shoulder.

"You're in love with her, you stupid jackass.")

Right. It'd been Rin who told it to him straight, and Rin would know a thing about love. Apparently he'd been with the same girl since highschool and he knew a thing or two. For Rin to tell Isagi such a thing made Isagi really think on it, and when Isagi finally sat down and thought about it - it was clear that he was head over heels in love.

Isagi is in love with you. It has been a tremendous pain in the ass trying to live with this information. It made sense - it really did. It made sense that everything suddenly felt so wrong. It made sense that he never new anything about love and that he could never keep a relationship.

When he thought about it, he'd never stop comparing everyone to you. If it were you—you'd be clumsy at fancy restaurants but it'd still be so much fun to go. If it were you—he might've cared much more about valentines day chocolates. It would've been so novel, so lovely - to imagine how hastily you would've made them. Not obligatory friendship chocolates but something just for him.

If it were you, he might've wanted to buy you expensive things. They'd be different. Clothes and shoes but game consoles and concert tickets. If it were you, he'd always take his sports car. He might've liked the way you fawned over them, with that wide-eyed sense of adventure he's spent his whole life getting to know.

Yes if it were you, Isagi might've gotten angry. Now that he knows, the idea you're getting so touchy-feely with another guy makes him sick. He knows he has no right to feel that way, but he can't exactly help the feeling either.

From the start, if Isagi had realized love started and ended with you, then maybe he would know a thing or two about love by now. He might've cared more about everything, had he realized it even a little sooner.

A few months ago would've sufficed.

Isagi is in love with you.

He has no idea if you feel the same, but in a way that doesn't change anything.

He's seated on his couch, alone in his apartment - and thinking wistfully that he probably has been this whole time.

He looks around his apartment, feeling a little sorry for himself. He's drinking. Even this tipsy, his mind is clouded with memories. You looked at this place together and you helped Isagi move in many months ago.

A place with a good view of the city, Isagi stands to his feet and watches near the cool glass of the window.

It takes him a while to hear his phone ring. When he does, he almost feels like he's hallucinating when he sees your name on the other side. He stares, wonders if the kami like playing malicious tricks on him, and then picks up.

He speaks slowly.

"Hello?"

He knows your crying, even though you're trying harder to hide it. That desperate sniffle that you get is an easy tell.

"Yoichi," You mutter, soft and sad "Can you come to the park?"

"At this hour? It's late. Your boyfriend is gonna be pissed."

You hiccup on the other side of the line. Isagi wants to run to you as soon as possible.

"Just come," You sniffle again, a little sadder. You're crying this time forreal "...I want to see you."

"Okay. Are you alone?"

"Mm,"

"Stay on the phone with me. I'll come soon. Stay on the line."

"Okay."

__

Isagi comes to find you at the park like you've asked. He keeps you on the line the entire Uber ride there and then as he comes through the playground to find you.

Somehow, he knows exactly where you'll be. It's the park you two grew up coming to. It's dark out, damp from the night, and Isagi finds you tucked in the same corner you always are.

You still fit there somehow, just beneath the slide. It's a big space, enough for two people. So, wordless, Isagi climbs into the little box and sits next to you. Close but not close enough, he hangs up the phone and turns his head to stare at you.

"I'm here," He says, mostly because he doesn't know what else to say.

You look up at him, obviously having been crying. You're wearing a sweatshirt and shorts, but your face has some light make-up on it like you were on a date. He forces himself not to frown as you gaze at him - pouting.

"You're here." You repeat, like you don't know what else to say. You lean your head on his shoulder. It's the most natural feeling in the world, but right now - it makes his breath hitch "Thanks for comin'"

"Are you gonna tell me what happened?"

"Well I don't want to."

"Can you really say that after crying like a baby, begging for me to come over, huh? All I want to see you—"

You elbow him without mercy.

"Shut up you jackass. Sorry to interrupt your late night jerk-off session with my tears."

It's not said with any malice, a joke - but there's insecurity laced in. Sorry for making you come see me, you want to say he's sure. He shakes his head.

"I could've been hooking up with a girl."

"Yeah? It's a miracle anyone would wanna get your dick wet, you should go back and finish the job,"

"Can't," Isagi mumbles, trying not to look at you closely "Some girl is making my shoulder wet instead though."

"Sorry," You croak, so horrifyingly sincere Isagi doesn't know how he's keeping himself upright "I can move."

"I was kidding," He says, hurriedly "It's fine. It reminds me of when we we're kids."

You huff a laugh.

"You only remember annoying stuff."

He mumbles something in agreement before there's a brief bout of silence. He speaks again first.

"Gonna tell me what happened?"

"We broke up," You mumble. Isagi feels his heart race, immediately riddled with guilt afterwards. "He broke up with me."

"I thought things were going well?"

"They were," You sniffle. It's the first time in your lives you've opened up to each other about something like this. You've talked about it, but it was always more him talking and you listening. He'd never heard about your crushes before.

In such a vulnerable, innocent position. Alone with him, confiding in him. He wants to stay with you forever "He was really good to me."

"So what? Why'd you break up?"

"I didn't love him. I liked him. And I thought I'd come to love him, but I didn't...I just couldn't love him. He knew it too, so he broke up with me."

"Was he mean about it?"

You laugh.

"Course not. He's one of the nicest guys I've ever met in my whole life. Told you, he was good to me."

"So then...? Are you sad about hurting his feelings?"

You nod, almost meek.

Isagi loves you more than life itself, he thinks.

"I wanted to love him. I thought I could."

"Why couldn't you?"

A brief pause of silence. You're debating on what to say before you seem to settle on something.

"Already someone else."

"Someone else? You love someone else?"

A whisper of hope. So small Isagi almost can't bear it. You nod.

"And what about them?"

"Doesn't love me back."

"How long?" His voice is shaking. He has no idea if you can tell. You laugh.

"A long time."

"Do I know him?"

You laugh again, a little throatier. More melancholy. Isagi feels like he's looking into an abyss. A dangerous place to fall in if he's not careful. He's already in love, already too deep. But he already steeled himself not to hope too much.

"You do know him, I guess."

"Tell me about him," Isagi almost urges. He has to be sure. He has to be sure this isn't one long dream, and that everything is real. "What he's like."

You look at him surprised.

"I thought you hated when I talked about stuff like this?"

"Changed my mind."

"Weirdo. It's nothin' special. We've known each other a while. We get along well. He likes the stuff I do and I like being around him."

"When'd you realized you loved him?"

"Middle school? Probably."

Ah. You've known each other a little longer than that, haven't you?

"You're being awfully secretive about it. Nothing more specific?"

You frown at him.

"Piss off. Go back to not caring about it. It's a dark part of my past and I already gave up on it forever ago."

"What if..." Isagi swallows. He's really the dumbest guy in the entire world for this. It could always be someone else. He knows that. "If your feelings were returned? What then?"

"I've never thought about it," You say, not even considering it might be the case "I'd be happy but I don't see the point in getting my hopes up. His type in girls is like...cuter I guess."

Isagi wants to knock himself out. Idiot. He's gone and ruined his own chances. He wish he could go back and kick the ass of his highschool self. If he called you cute right now, you'd definitely think he was trying to coddle your feelings. You are cute to him.

He can't get the words out.

"And you don't think you are?"

You shoot him a surprised look then burst out into laughter.

"Well, no. Daisuke used to say it but I don't know. Most guys wouldn't think of me as...cute? Sexy maybe? Apparently some of the guys from department see it that way."

Aah. Isagi hates this. He hates hearing that guys name without honorifics. His first name, at that.

"You should listen to the guy you used to date and not whatever knuckleheads you go to school with."

"Are you saying I'm cute, Yoichi? Started feeling bad?"

"It's not pity, alright? But you're not..not cute."

You pause before breaking out in genuine, unruly laughter. Isagi adores the sound of your voice, adores every inch of you as you giggle yourself into a fit.

"You'll never get a girlfriend like that. You have to at least be able to pretend."

It's not pretending. He wants to tell you that you're cute. The way you laugh is cute and the look you get playing stupid claw machine games is cute and the way you get excited by the 7/11 carrying your favorite things is cute. It's never been different and you still look so delighted. Everything about you is cute. Isagi wants to say all that, and that he finds you sexy too. For different, ordinary reasons those stupid guys in your department could never begin to know.

But words are useless - inconceivably pointless to try and make you understand.

"You're cute," He says first, staring at the place in front of him. Then adds "That's not pity."

"So you know how to smooth talk too?"

"It's not that either."

"Then what is it?" Your voice is wavering.

Now or never.

"A confession."

Isagi feels you tense. Feels you freeze. You start to stutter another joking, lifting your head from his shoulder to turn away but Isagi is quicker. Quick to hold your shoulder, to turn you towards him, to hold your cheek and make you look his face.

"Yoichi?"

"Is it me? Am I the person you like?"

You shake your head trying to look away.

"I don't want to answer that."

"I like you," Isagi grips your shoulder tighter, presses his forehead against yours as he holds on for dear life with hope "I only figured it out recently."

A bout of silence passes before your voice sounds again. It's shaking so hard. Isagi can hear how hard your heart is beating.

"This is fucking mean." You whisper. He frowns at you.

"Do I look like I'm joking? Huh? Does it even kind of seem like that?"

"But since when?" You're arguing. Isagi just confessed his undying love for you and you're arguing with him about it. It's so you. "I'm not even your type."

"No one is my type but you, you idiot." Isagi is exasperated explaining this. It's embarrassing but he's a lot of time to reflect and this is as true as it gets "Every single time I'd ever tried dating someone else or doing things with them - I didn't care. I just did it without thinking. But I always thought if it was you...I'd always want it to be you."

"You're not attracted to me." You assert, maybe trying to compensate.

"Fuck you, I couldn't tell you that you were hot to your face. You kicked my ass every time I mentioned the fact your tits got bigger in highsc—"

You shove him with your shoulder.

"Because you talk about it like that you shitty jock." You hiss.

"Then what do you want me to say?" Isagi mumbles, looking at you "I think you're sexy. What else is there?"

"God this is so embarrassing,"

"I'm being serious," Isagi adds, pouting, face flush with heat "You're just...you've always been attractive I guess."

You give him a small frown. Isagi thinks it's the cutest thing in the world. He wants to kiss you absolutely fucking stupid.

"Are you sure? Like really sure?"

He snorts, laughing humorlessly.

"I've been agonizing about it for weeks. Yes I'm sure."

"What if I told you to kiss me? Could you do it?"

Isagi stares at you in disbelief. He turns himself slightly, staring at you before reaching his hand out towards your cheek. You make a soft noise of surprise as he brushes his thumb underneath your eye. Your face is so hot it's burning against the palm of his hand. He lets his hand settle on the back of your neck before leaning into kiss you.

He kisses you hard but slow. Passion imbued into each tiny movement, drawing as deep as he can go without pushing his tongue between your lips.

You let out a soft moan that makes him pull away, eyes widened. Humiliated you try to shove him away, but Isagi manages to catch you by your wrist.

"Is it starting to click or do you need me to prove it one more time?"

"Ugh. Fuck, you're so,"

He grins wolfishly as he stares at you, watching you shrink so slightly under his gaze. He's not used to winning against you in any capacity with the exception of soccer. It feels good.

"I'm so?"

"Annoying."

"That's it?" He leans in again, lips brushing your cheek and pressing a kiss to it before moving down. He presses kisses down your jaw, relishing in the way you squirm. "Nothing else to add?"

"You're enjoying this too much, Yoichi," You reprimand, though you don't make any effort to move "Are you fishing for compliments?"

"I'm wondering if you find me sexy too, that's all."

You pause before leaning in. He watches the gears turn in your brain before turning your voice low.

"Wanna touch me and find out yourself?"

He pulls away instantly in shock as you blink at him innocently. There's an air of smugness about you. He feels his face burn red immediately, blood rushing up into his brain. He tucks his chin looking away from you. His brain feels like it's full of static.

He's embarrassed. By what you've said but more by how naturally everything falls into place. By how effected he is by something so simple. It usually takes so much more to get him like this.

"What the hell was'at..."

"Karma. Don't be all cocky. I've known about my feelings way longer than you."

"Didn't think you'd know jackshit about stuff like that though."

"Just cause I spare you my sex stories doesn't mean they don't exist."

Isagi feels a pang of irritation as he scoffs.

"I don't want hear about them now either."

"I thought you weren't the jealous type?"

"I just wasn't that into any of those girls."

"But you're into me? Enough that you get jealous?"

Isagi laughs at that.

"Yeah. I'm way more into you than you're ever gonna get through your head anyways."

"The fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"Means I wanna get all lovey-dovey with you and embarrass you all the time."

You flush and Isagi feels like he's won. Instead of feeling elated or cocky, this time he just feels a little dazed. He stares at you through lidded eyes.

"I'm so into you," Isagi mutters, leaning his head against your shoulder "You're never gonna get it unless you look in my brain,"

You pause momentarily, leaning back enough that Isagi sits up. He looks at you curiously before he feels you tap foreheads. You close your eyes and hum, before peeking just one open.

"I looked," You say softly "I still win,"

Isagi groans internally. God. God you're so fucking cute. It's so you and it's so cute and he loves you.

"Can I please kiss you again?"

"You don't have to ask every time."

"No takebacks."

Isagi leans in again, to kiss you a little softer this time. When he pulls away, the look on your face makes him want to do it all over again. You'll be here all night if he doesn't get a hold of himself.

"You wanna come over to my place?"

"Isn't a little early for that?"

Isagi knocks your foreheads together.

"Not like that. It's late and the trains aren't running. I don't want you taking a cab,"

"I'm a big girl, Yoichi," You say sardonically "If you want me to stay over, just ask. You're still my best friend, dummy." You add the last part a little softer.

He grabs your hand.

"Then stay with me."

You nod.

"Okay. And we can have sex if you want."

"Fuck yeah."

[simpjaes]

mtl to try his luck and fuck a married woman just cuz he can

MTL: hyung line + fuck a married woman

warning: infidelity obv

most

★ jay: im on that milf hunter jay agenda forever so you can't argue that he's the first one to be willing to fuck a married woman. I think he'd probably even prefer it sometimes, loving the idea that someone is willing to skew their own moral compass just to get him between their legs. the idea drives him up a fucking wall to be someone's dirty little secret, both in a good and bad way. the pros: quick and nasty fucks, hot desperate words whispered directly into each other's mouths, false promises and perfect situations that call for degradation. A total fucking ego boost for him. especially when he's moaned for and stated as the better fuck compared to the man you're married to. the cons though? well, he doesn't necessarily like sharing you, even if you were never his to share to begin with. hate fucks are fun but goddamn does he hate seeing you rubbing all over the man who never could or would eat the pussy right.

☆ heeseung: what heeseung wants, heeseung gets. he doesn't care if he looks stupid chasing a married woman, if anything, that's not even a cause to stop wanting in his head. who cares? he doesn't have to find out, genuinely, all you need to do is admit that you want him too. he can see it on your face every time he whispers dirty little words in passing to you. definitely the type to send unsolicited dick pics to your number after basically manipulating you to get it in the first place. honestly, heeseung would pester and fluster you until you'd have no choice but to break for him. to the point that you're chasing him. to the point that you can't stop thinking about him. your vows be damned, it would be a damn shame to keep pretending you don't want it. and oh god, would heeseung give it to you too. honestly, he'd play with your body to the point you'd forget you even got married in the first place. and fuckkkk, he would be elated to know he's got a married woman at his beck and call.

★ sunghoon: it would probably be an accidental thing on his part ngl. not saying he wouldn't go for a married woman but i think he'd be more inclined to chase a single person. that is, until he is forced into close quarters with you on a day to day basis. maybe you guys work together or something idk. sunghoon is the type who wants a relationship, and boy would it sting when he finds out you're already married. "but you don't wear a ring..." he'd probably comment, not really intending to sound rude but fr, he wouldn't have just tried to kiss you if you had been wearing said ring. and, well, it would probably spiral from there with both of you facing a moral dilemma. sunghoon would take what he could get after too long though, after all, he'd probably fall so aggressively in love with you to the point of becoming jealous and possessive. 100% would fuck you for the first time and ask you to divorce your husband while balls deep lmaooo

☆ jake: not intentionally, but it's not like you were honest with him about it. i think you'd be the aggressor in the situation when it comes to jake. the guy would do anything for you, and anything to get those loving compliments and bats of your eyelashes at him. the best part?? when he finds out he probably wouldn't give two shits about it because he's obsessed with you whether another man feels the same about you or not. it's def a "well someone's gotta change their outfit" moment for him, except more of a "well someone's gonna have to give you up" but it most certainly won't be him lmfaoooo. bro would slash your husband's tires.

least

p.s. im giggling bc this is 666 words aye

[strawberriianime]

Hear me out… or use this as inspo anything I love ur writing xx

Stoner!Choso x femreader tw: weed, oral sex m receiving, cum slurping and dirty talking?

Reader and Choso are smoking and she’s getting hottttt watching him roll the blunt and lick the paper and his painted nailssss oooofffffff. Super sexual tension and flirty remarks until she ends up sucking choso’s HOT cock dry and occasionally he’s pulling her hair up to blow smoke in her mouth and calling her sweet names (bc at the end of the day Cho’ is sub LMFAO)

♡ ahhhhhh so crayz you mentioned stoner Choso bc I had that idea before but never wrote ittt. I love this like Choso's already so sexy and watching him roll a blunt is like a dream of mine.

♡ cw: 18+ content, use of weed and descriptions of weed, high oral sex, stoner choso and stoner reader, oral sex (m receiving), dirty talk, deepthroating, swallowing, oral sexxxxxx!

It wasn't unusual for Choso to come and chill at your place, you two would split a zip, buy a pizza, listen to music, and catch up on each other's life. However, this time something was....different. Maybe it was the neon pink LED lights illuminating the living room or the sweet strawberry candle you had lit earlier.

It was him. This time he had come over wearing a baggy pair of grey sweatpants with a hoodie which he discarded earlier leaving him in a black tee highlighting his toned abs. You always thought he was attractive, but something is making him hit differently now. Your eyes followed his as he broke down the weed his freshly manicured black nails reflecting under the pink light. Digging into his pocket, he pulled out a pack of raw papers, got two out of the pack, and lined it onto the rolling tray. Taking the broken-down weed, he sprinkled it into the papers, folding it slightly, and brought it up to his pale pink lips. His lips swiped along his bottom lip, licking a slow long stripe along the paper. "I wish you'd lick me like you lick those papers" you spoke pulling him out of his concentration. He chuckled, going back to rolling the blunt licking slowly at the paper once more. It was as if he was teasing you, any other time he rolled he'd be done in mere seconds so why is he going so slow this time? "Or I could lick you....? You wouldn't last one minute if I did" Teasing Choso was fun, he wouldn't say much but you know deep down he was burning up inside. You heard a lighter flick as you turned and watched him hit the blunt, a thin cloud of smoke leaving his area as he reached out to pass the blunt to you. Grabbing it, you brushed your hand swiftly over his own before bringing the blunt to your own lips and inhaling slowly. "Mmh, I bet you're really skilled with your hands." You passed the blunt back to him. "They're really soft, and I bet they feel really good." His ears were flush red, you knew you were getting to him if that wasn't a sign the twitching in his sweatpants definitely was. "Seem's like you have a little problem, mind If I help you with it hmm?" Your hands grazed over the bulge in his pants, feeling his dick twitch from the light touch.

Your black nails found their way to the top of his sweatpants, pulling at the material as Choso was quick to shimmy down his pants allowing his stiffened dick to make contact with the cool air of the living room. His tip was red, beaded with precum that began running down his shaft stopping just at the middle. Taking your right hand, you grabbed his shart, thumb rolling circles on the tip spreading the precum along feeling him twitch in your warm hands. You moved in closer, salivating your mouth to the fullest before dropping a glob of spit onto his tip using it as a lubricant to stroke his dick up and down. You started off with teasing slow kitten licks, tongue circling only the tip sucking on it slowly as you moved your right hand up and down. You felt a slight tug on your hair, lips creating a thin trail of saliva as your own were met with Choso's. He brought the blunt to his lips, inhaling slowly before bringing his lips to your own. You felt the smoke filling your mouth before he pulled back, leaning back onto the chair, pushing lowering your head back to his dick.

Without hesitation, you lowered your hand as your warm mouth sank down onto his dick, causing him to twitch once more. He let out a low groan as you began to move your head up and down his shaft, making sure whatever area your mouth couldn't reach, your hand made up for. Slightly tightening your jaws, you moaned softly as you bobbed up and down, tasting just about every inch. You began tracing every vein that throbbed, begging to be caressed by your warm tongue, your hand moving to cuff his balls using the saliva that trailed as lubricant once again. "A-aah fuck, you're so good at this pretty." you heard him groan, causing you to moan on his dick, feeling the throbbing between your own legs and panties getting soaked by the second. You felt a slight tug on your hair once more pulling off his dick once again, lips glistening under the pink lights. "You look beautiful like this." He took another hit of the blunt and brought your lips to his, smoke filling your mouth once more. His eyes were low, watching you with complete adoration and lust as he placed a small kiss on your temple.

Dropping down once more, you flexed your right hand, now adding your left hand to the mix, and you swallowed his dick, sucking on it as if it was a watermelon blow pop. Your head bobbed as your wrist worked in areas you could reach. "Baby, you're gonna suck me dry." Choso moaned, throwing his head back on the sofa, one fist tightly gripping at your hair, the other taking another hit of the blunt. You removed one of your hands as you shoved his dick deeper down your throat, the sending hand following shortly as well once you were comfortable. "Shit. I've never been this deep before. You're doing so good beautiful.... you feel amazing. You suck me up so well." You could tell he was close based on the babbling he always does when he's about to cum. "I-Im about to cum. Baby, can I cum down your throat." You bobbed your head faster, sucking slightly harder as you felt that familiar twitch once more before your mouth was flooded with bittersweet, sticky webs of cum. He let out a loud moan, balls emptying shooting his warm load into your mouth. You eagerly swallowed up what you could but, this has to be a record of how much cum he was able to produce. Your tongue was quick to lick up whatever was left over that you weren't able to suck down cleaning him up with your delicate tongue. You felt a set of strong hands bring you up to his toned chest as his chest heaved catching his breath from such a powerful orgasm. "I gotta pay you back."

[lunas-side-anime-blog]

aot veteran/104 corp icks bc im back on my bullshit

someone requested AOT veteran icks, they didn't specify nsfw or not so I did both and also added sasha connie and jean bc i luv them:) feel free to message/inbox with requests!

(levi, erwin, hange, jean, sasha and connie)

Levi

will visit ur place and organize things without you asking. he'd just be like "ur welcome, now your kitchen makes sense" and ur like sir, I don't know where anything is now??? also he'd def the type to proclaim he's better than you for only getting two hours of sleep when you got four. honestly so many icks come to mind for this one, imma limit it to those two for now (stay tuned lol)

nsfw: tries to be rough with you but forgets his own strength. will try to throw you on the bed, but he does it too hard so you completely miss the bed and fall on the other side of it and he's just standing there like "🧍🏻...my bad."

Erwin

you cannot convince me this man doesn't wear water shoes at the pool. you guys say you want a dilf until you actually get one bc this is the type of shit it entails^^

nsfw: erwin cannot dirty talk for shit. im srry but if you're a lil kinky this isn't the man for you. try to call him daddy and he'd be like "we don't have kids?" and you explain the kink to him and he'd just say, "have you considered therapy?🤨" now he's concerned, boner gone, you feel called out, just go to sleep tbh

Hange

they're def a firm believer in natural deodorant and won't take the graceful hints that it's not working. prob wouldn't chill w them on a hot day is all i'm saying

nsfw: feel like they'd be really good in bed tbh like i'm struggling to think of an ick. hange has big dick energy, weirdos just do it better idk. i think maybe hange would try to spit in your mouth (they a freak) and they have so much and its thick and globby like the back of the throat type spit, your gonna choke bro im gagging as a i type-

Jean

bring back toxic masculinity because Jean's hair care routine is so good to the point he'll call out your split ends, i just know it

nsfw: a fucking chatterbox like his homies know everything. you've walked in on him telling connie in extreme detail how he had you in a full nelson last night while you screamed bloody murder and he doesn't see why ur mad. "babe, if anything i'm bragging about you 😏" fucking idiot istg. also kinda gross but I think he's the type to keep sniffing his fingers after fingering you like well into the next day EWW

Sasha

obvi she can't share for shit so I think she'd be an annoying person to eat out with. like yk when you're with your friends and only one person puts their card down so the rest can Venmo them? I think you can ask her to Venmo 20 and she'd send 15 and say something like "oh I didn't eat as many fries" but she fr did. never puts her card down either so believe it or not? jail.

nsfw: will literally be on her phone mid-sex with you. feel like she'd be really into the subway surfer vids and yeah, you go down on her and look up and she brought her own entertainment? ipad child behavior

Connie

i think he'd say "we" when talking about his fave sports team as if he contributed. like, "really connie, you helped win the superbowl? did you score a touchdown?" grow tf up

nsfw: insane bush on this one, i feel like he doesn't groom for shit and whatever, that's your choice! but I also feel like college-aged modern connie would talk shit about women who weren't bald down there and won't eat it unless it is. HYPOCRITE!! I think when he gets to his mid-twenties tho he'd mature (sasha beat his ass)

[skz-celine]

✯ RELATIONSHIPS WITH SKZ MAKNAE LINE !!

the relationships types celine has with the maknae line ! of skz

✯ JISUNG && CELINE : rank 1 in popular relations ( they're a comedy duo and absolutely always producing something weird as well as always hugging, cuddling, or touching in some way but 100% platonic )

pin board now playing : sure thing - miguel

these two are like twin flames in the way they work. their interactions are often filled with light-hearted teasing and affectionate gestures. They share inside jokes that revolve around playful nicknames and funny anecdotes, which bring a sense of warmth and joy to their friendship.

you will not find these two sitting next to each other and not hugging, cuddling, or anything of the matter ( unless in interviews of course ) , they're always together like her legs could just be on his whilst sitting and they'd just be paying no attention to it bc its so subconscious its a natural habit.

she also feeds him a lot and whenever she cuts fruit or cooks food, he'll be the first she feeds ( besides leader bang chan )

many fans would describe their relationship as mother bird to baby bird since she tends to often care for him as such. She is a little shorter than him ( and I mean by sooo little, emphasizing so) so he'd often lean on her whenever she was standing next to her.

we all know jisung is notorious for using baby/jagiya as a nickname and it's something he also tends to call her as well. "자기야 그거 나한테 줄래?"

he also sometimes jokes and calls her noona ( older sister ) because she scolds him sometimes for his messiness.

and to that of course our comedian is gonna reference his first line in "WOW" and be like "jeogiyo nuna hoksi namjachin-gu isseoyo" ( excuse me noona, do you have a boyfriend?)

they weren't always peachy though, their relationship is crazy.

back when she first joined the group, he was also one of the unsure members but he was a little vocal about it often mumbling stuff as she messed up and got frustrated. it was a hard time for all of them at that time and that contrast just made it worst.

it wasn't until he caught her crying in frustration that he went over and spoke to her, apologizing if he's made it even worse for her and explaining how he was stressed. she explained how it wasn't just what he was saying or the distance of the members but with the add on to the fact that some fans weren't happy with her joining and that she was nervous to officially debut with the group because she'd be even more hated if she didn't do things right

they had a long chat that day and talked deeply about everything.

✯ FELIX && CELINE : rank 4 in popular relations ( physical playfighting as a love language, teasing and mockery duo, they both love changbin)

pin board . now playing: young, dumb, and broke - khalid

they are notorious for always hitting each other. it's always soft and never actually hurts but it's something they always stick to bc their love language = hitting

whether it be her wearing a hat and he just hits the top of it, covering her eyes or her randomly jumping on him , hitting his arm, they're somehow always in fight or flight mode.

they're close in the aspect of teasing , that's their way of bonding. "cejin-ssi, wanna watch me play this game?" "are you platinum yet?"

he's for sure glaring at her with a tired and insulted smile on his face while she's cackling like a witch.

in fact, he even referred to her as one.

"what is my favorite holiday?" she was reading a comment before she leaned back, pondering before felix squinted his eyes and begun to speak

"i think... halloween maybe? cause- you're like... a witch y'know?" cue the grin and her glare before she pushes his office chair across the room.

✯ SEUNGMIN && CELINE :: rank 2 in popular relations ( they act like such a married couple and he always acts opposed to her affection but he secretly adores it. )

pin board . now playing : looking after you - joy again

absolute married duo, they're always arguing in some way but it's like their debate love language.

seungmin will not pass up an offer in finding some way to bother her and she both hates and loves it.

like for example, she could be lying down on her bed scrolling through her phone and then he comes into the room and sits down next to her before surprising her with a pillow to the face and now a pillow fight has broken out with lots of silent giggles and cries from whoever is being sat on with a pillow on their face

celine is obsessed with seungmin's teeny waist and will grab it randomly with affectionate aggression , squeezing it tightly as she replicates that little angry puppy face he always does.

he'll do it as well sometimes but it's only ever subtle and when she doesn't notice.

we know seungmin is someone who seems like a menace and revels in being cold and heartless but he's very deep when it comes to love and care towards the kids and whenever they have talks, like he'll listen to her, she'll listen to him. and thats what he truly likes about her; the fact she'll listen whenever he rants and shows genuine happiness whenever he gets her a gift despite pretending to hate it when he initially gives it to her.

whenever they do lives, she'll have her phone angled to where seungmin can see it from where his head rests on her shoulder. she knows they always tend to use his phone for the lives for whatever reason so she'll have something to keep him entertained.

they hold hands sometimes , especially when it's cold she'll just be slightly jumping beside him, trying to get rid of the cold feeling that freezes her skin

and seungmin will just be standing statue-like as he has a small smile on his face, his forearm slightly bouncing because of the jumping girl beside him

✯ JEONGIN && CELINE

pin board . now playing : where is smiley ? - serani poji

celine and jeongin, since their days are so close are the type of people that act like twins who are fighting to see who's the eldest.

celine and Jeongin’s relationship can be best described as twin-like, marked by playful banter and an affectionate sibling dynamic. with celine’s birthday just days before jeongin’s, she often embraces her "older sister" role, delighting in asserting her dominance over him. she often says stuff like “I’m older than you, respect me.” which often gives her eye rolls and playful protests from jeongin

she doesn't often like physical affection by him since she's not used to it ( he doesn't like physical affection either ) but she'll resort to head massages which he often likes and will clothes his eyes for them because they comfort him.

she's one of the first he'd call if he'd gotten arrested, besides seungmin and the obvious leader bang chan. she's always there to listen to his rants and his insecurities and there to help him feel better

sometimes, when he comes to her room to nap, she'll say "tell me about your day" and he'll be lying in her bed just talking about the day. she uses it as asmr and ends up drifting into the best sleep imaginable and wakes up, drooling with vocalracha standing over her face giggling and taking pictures

SKZ-CELINE , 08 / 24

< back to masterlist

[ghosttotheparty]

exhibit a (detective mongomery)

ao3 more songwriter!eddie can be found here more songwriting/poetry; mildly nsfw bc eddie is eddie

***

Jeff has a theory.

Gareth agrees with the theory, though he's less confident about it, and Ian disagrees, though he's expressed that there's a chance Jeff may be right.

The theory is that Eddie fucking Munson has a boyfriend.

And Jeff has evidence.

EXHIBIT A: THE RING

Jeff notices that one of Eddie's rings is missing one day.

Granted, it's not the most concrete of evidence, because Eddie is Eddie, so Jeff assumes that he forgot it. Dropped it between his bed and his bedside table and just couldn't be assed to fish it out or to move his furniture. Maybe he was fidgeting with it in the car and dropped it to the ground and forgot about it by the time he got to Gareth's.

So he doesn't say anything.

But the next time he sees him, he isn't wearing it again.

So maybe he dropped it in a crack in a porch and couldn't reach it.

But if that were the case, Jeff feels like Eddie would have complained about it by now. Eddie once proclaimed that bitching is one of his favorite hobbies, along with getting stoned and sucking dick (at the same time or not, which he clarified after Ian questioned it), and the last time he misplaced a ring, he wouldn't shut up about it for three days until Wayne found it in the laundry basket. But maybe Eddie is just maturing. (Hah.)

They're in Jeff's living room, bantering and fucking around, the music from Jeff's record player low so they can hear each other, and as Eddie is watching Gareth and Ian bicker like he's watching a tennis match (not that he'd ever watch a tennis match), looking back and forth and back and forth, Jeff sees him reach for his ring finger, fingers poised to twist it around the way he usually does. The ring isn't there, obviously, and Eddie glances down like he's forgotten, and then a brief smile flashes across his face for a moment before he looks up and shouts that Ian is right, and Gareth, shut the fuck up.

And Jeff wonders.

EXHIBIT B: THE BASKETBALL

Eddie and Wayne live in a new apartment in town. (New being relative. It's a little run-down, with creaky floors and squeaky doors, but it's new to them.) Eddie's room is smaller than it was in the trailer, but Wayne has his own room in the apartment now, with an actual bed instead of a pull-out sofa.

Eddie's room is practically the same. Messy and covered in posters and tapestries and cut-out photos from magazines. His desk is covered in D&D pamphlets and character sheets, messy sketches of characters that he started and forgot about, uncapped pens and markers that must be dry by now. There are clothes covering the floor, hiding the fuzzy rug, and the blankets of his bed are always cast aside, almost falling off the bed because apparently Eddie throws them aside in the morning (or afternoon, depending on the day).

Eddie is searching for the weed he was supposed to bring to Ian's, and Jeff is waiting, leaning against the doorframe, watching as he rummages through some drawers.

"I swear I have it."

"I believe you," Jeff says dryly. "There's gotta be weed in here somewhere." Eddie shoots him a look, sticking out his tongue. He keeps rambling, I thought I fucking put it in here, I don't know how I get all these drawers confused, there aren't even that many, Jesus Christ, and Jeff looks around the room. There's a new poster of Bowie on the wall near his window. Jeff eyes it. It's not really Eddie's style, but Jeff's heard Eddie talk about how hot he is.

He looks at his blankets as Eddie rummages through another drawer. His bed wasn't raised when they were in the trailer, but he has a new bedframe, and now he has boxes and bags and a pizza box and... Is that a basketball?

Jeff looks at Eddie, who has his back to him, groaning as he tosses things aside onto the floor, and he steps to the side, tilting his head to see the orange ball that's partially hidden by a striped blanket that's falling off the bed. Jeff raises an eyebrow.

Eddie Munson has never voluntarily played a sport in his life. Jeff knows it. Gareth and Ian know it. The queen of England knows it. There is no reason for there to be a basketball in his bedroom. Unless it's someone else's. Someone he hasn't mentioned to them.

"Got it!"

Eddie stands, holding up the baggie triumphantly, grinning as he turns to Jeff.

"You really to stop losing illicit substances."

"'S fine," Eddie says, swaying to turn off the light. Jeff glances at the basketball one more time before following him out of the room.

"You're gonna get in trouble one of these days."

"Nah," Eddie says easily, still grinning, and he turns to face Jeff, walking backwards and spreading his arms like a challenge. "I'm immune, baby."

Jeff rolls his eyes, fighting a smile.

"What have I said about calling me baby?"

"Oh my god, it's a general term, I'm not calling you baby, it's just--"

EXHIBIT C: THE EXCUSES

"I forgot I need to help Wayne sort out some boxes before he leaves for work," Eddie says, swinging his guitar over his back. He's still a little out of breath, his hair falling from where it's tied up, exposing the scar around his neck. He won't talk about it. They don't ask. "I'll see you guys later."

"You guys aren't done unpacking?" Gareth asks before he guzzles some water.

"You know Wayne," Eddie says. "He'd put off unpacking for five more years if I didn't volunteer to help."

He's cheerful, going around and smacking loud kisses to their cheeks. Ian grins when he gets to him. He's always liked the affection that Eddie gives out so freely.

"Have you noticed he's been doing that a lot lately?" Ian asks as Eddie's van is pulling out of Gareth's driveway. Eddie rolls his window down and flips them the bird. They do it back. He cackles.

"God, yes," Jeff says, grateful he's not the only one.

"Doing what?" Gareth asks.

"'I have to help Wayne unpack,'" Ian repeats. "'I said I'd help old man Cooper fix his A/C. Henderson needs a ride to an appointment. Little Sinclair is going to the salon and her mom can't take her.'"

Gareth stares at him.

"How can you remember that all word for word but you don't remember when my birthday is?"

"...July--"

"No."

"Fuck. I don't know, my brain's weird. Anyway, he's been doing it a lot lately."

"Yeah," Jeff says, smiling after watching the interaction. (Gareth's birthday is in June.) "I mean, it's not like it's every time we hang out, so I'm not, like, offended or anything, but it's more often than he used to."

Gareth pauses as he spins his drumsticks, holding the door open for them to go inside.

"Do you think it has to do with... everything?"

Everything is code for Eddie going missing and being framed for three murders.

"I don't know," Jeff sighs, swinging open the fridge and finding a bottle of soda before he passes it to Ian. "He seems to have actual stuff to do, like with Erica and Dustin, but if he is lying, I mean... He's gotta have a reason to, right?"

Ian cracks open the soda, leaning against the counter.

"And if it has to do with everything, then, like... I don't know. I don't wanna, like. Pry."

"Yeah," Gareth says.

Jeff agrees. Eddie's been keeping quiet about the whole thing ever since he got discharged from the hospital. He's lost his memory, doesn't remember a lot of what happened, but they've seen him get lost in space, seen him breathe so shallowly it barely looks like he's breathing at all. These episodes (Jeff doesn't know what else to call them) sometimes last a few minutes. The first one was after they played Master of Puppets together for the first time. Eddie had learned it himself on guitar, but when they played it all together in Gareth's garage, he played for about fifteen seconds before he stopped abruptly, his eyes wide and trained on some spot on the ground. It scared the shit out of all of them.

He snapped out of it after a minute, blinking and startling and looking around at them gathered around them, and he was suddenly pale and shivering and holding his side like he had a cramp from running, and when they worriedly asked what happened, he just said in a rough voice I don't really like that song. He left after Jeff forced a bottle of water into his hands.

He's covered in scars. He has a skin graft on his chest, and when they asked about it, about what the fuck is going on? he just shrugged and said, "You know how much I paid for that zombie head?" in reference to the tattoo that's mostly covered in scar tissue now.

He doesn't want to tell. So they don't ask.

"Do you guys think..." Jeff hesitates, sipping his own soda, hopping up on the counter next to where Ian is leaning. "Do you guys think he might be seeing someone?"

They blink at him.

"Why the fuck would we think he might be seeing someone?" Ian asks, almost smiling.

"He..." Jeff hesitates again, realising how dumb the ring and basketball seem. Eddie loses shit. Maybe he forgot. Lucas plays basketball, and Jeff knows he and Eddie are pretty close now. Maybe he just convinced Eddie to help him practice. "I don't know."

But Gareth is nodding, staring at the ground, frowning.

"No, I can see that."

"You can?" Ian says.

"I mean, he's probably not, but it kinda makes sense. He's been ditching more lately, he's all smiley all the time. Et cetera."

"I don't know," Ian says, grimacing, but Jeff nods.

"He's smiling so much," he says, pointing at Gareth with his bottle. "Especially, like, in the past few weeks."

"Right?"

"Maybe he's just recovering," Ian says.

Oh.

Gareth and Jeff look at each other, wincing.

"Maybe."

"Maybe."

EXHIBIT D: THE HUMMING

Jeff leans back in his desk chair, lifting his legs up onto his desk, pulling his comic book closer to his face. He should probably get his eyes checked.

Eddie is laying upside down on Jeff's bed, his head hanging off as he draws in a notebook. (Jeff's never understood how he does it; his head hanging off the edge of the bed, holding up a notebook in front of his face, drawing without a care in the world.) It's quiet.

Jeff flips the page of his comic book, careful not to bend the pages, but as he's looking at the first panel, he hears the distinct, low rumble of Eddie's voice. He looks up, thinking for a split second that Eddie is speaking to him, but he's just humming. He does that a lot. He doesn't even notice himself doing it.

Jeff looks back at the comic book, listening, but he pauses again, looking up at the wall in front of himself as he furrows his brows, listening closer until he recognizes the song. He doesn't know the name of it, but he's pretty sure it's by Tears for Fears.

Tears for fucking fears.

Jeff looks at Eddie, who's still drawing, the notebook wavering as he looks at it, and after another minute, he moves, rolling over and shifting to lay on his stomach, setting the notebook down in front of himself. His brows are furrowed in focus, lips pouting a little bit, but he doesn't stop humming, and Jeff narrows his eyes.

He doesn't know anyone that listens to Tears for Fears. Maybe Dustin, but Eddie would probably, definitely tell him to shut it off because he has a musical superiority complex. (Jeff has no idea what Lucas listens to, and Mike probably listens to the same stuff as Eddie. Ian and Gareth both like rock and metal, and Erica probably listens to Cyndi Lauper or something.)

But here Eddie is, about a minute into a Tears for Fears song that Jeff can't even name, humming softly, happily to himself.

And Jeff wonders who the fuck Eddie is allowing to listen to, is tolerating listening to, Tears for Fears in Eddie's presence. And often enough that Eddie apparently knows the words.

It happens again the next week while they're all at Gareth's house, sitting in the kitchen and helping Gareth's mom make dinner. Jeff is peeling carrots, passing them to Eddie to chop, and Mrs Emerson's radio is playing, sitting on the windowsill. It's just on some Top 40s type station, which Eddie tolerates for Mrs Emerson because she tolerates their band practice in her garage.

The song fades out and there's a moment of quiet static, accompanied by Eddie's knife on the cutting board, the smooth sounds of the peeler, the clinking of the dishes that Gareth is putting away, the clicking of the stove turning on as Ian follows Mrs Emerson's directions. The next song starts, and Jeff passes the naked carrot to Eddie, pushing the peels to the side where he's collecting them to give to Gareth's dog.

He pauses the peeling when he hears Eddie's low hum, under his breath, and he stares at the carrot, listening before he slowly turns to look at him. He's just chopping the carrots, as easily as he always does, scooping them onto the knife and pouring them into the salad bowl next to him, humming and humming.

His voice is lower than the singer's voice, and it harmonizes nicely, but Jeff doesn't know what to think.

He glances over his shoulder across the kitchen, catching Ian's eye as he's mixing something in a bowl, also frozen and staring at Eddie.

Toto? Ian mouths at Jeff, looking more confused than he's ever looked, and Jeff shrugs, wide-eyed. Gareth leans up next to Ian, staring at Eddie's back intently before he looks at Jeff and mouths What the fuck?

Jeff shrugs again.

They don't say anything.

Eddie never notices that he's humming.

Jeff can't stop thinking about it, about what kind of person Eddie would listen to pop music for. He has a boyfriend. There's no way it can be anyone else.

EXHIBIT E: THE SONG LYRICS

Eddie is the main songwriter of the band. They all trust him with it all, and add their own bits and pieces when they play all together, like a drum solo for Gareth, and his lyrics changed a bit when he came back after everything.

His words were more intense, less literal. One lyric sings about the sky turning red, and the silhouettes of monsters. One song was called Batshit, about demon bats with steak knife tails. One sings about a girl with curly hair and a sawed-off shotgun, and another girl with vodka bottles and a lighter.

Save the world, save my life, Get your guns, I'll get my knife. Cut the shit, ignore the scythe And blow that shit to pieces

He sings about carnivorous flowers and flickering lights, about floating girls and broken bones, about blood-stained ceilings and sneakers and a bottomless lake.

Oh, it's a nightmare I'm living God, the world's flipped inside out There's spiders in my veins I feed them coffee and self-doubt

And then after a while, the vibes shift. He still sings about it all, about the fantasy, nightmarish world that comes up time and time again, but then he shows up with lyrics about a boy.

A boy. No one by name, or by description, almost just the idea of a boy rather than an actual one. When they ask who the lyrics are about, he gives them a Who knows? shrug, and Jeff's suspicions might as well be confirmed.

Some are sexual, very Eddie-esque, about lungs filled with smoke and mouths filled with cock, about the taste of sin on his tongue and hair tangled in rings. About being roughed up and cuffed up, the bite of metal around wrists, about being watched and known. Something about if they knew what we knew, they wouldn't care at all.

Others are sweeter, which just confirms Jeff's suspicions even more. Some sing about soft hair and sparkly eyes, about going stargazing by staring at his skin.

Kiss me 'til I'm flushed all red I wanna be your favorite color, baby

Eddie smiles while they go through the lyrics all together, his cheeks pink, but they still don't say anything.

EXHIBIT F: THE HICKEY

"Afternoon, fellas," Eddie says brightly, hopping into the room, dropping his bag on the ground next to where Ian is sitting and headbutting him affectionately. Ian beams. "How we doing?"

They talk as he gets sorted, finding his place on Gareth's bed between Ian and Gareth, laying on his back so his head is hanging over the edge, upside down, his hair falling. It almost touches the ground. He laughs at something Gareth says, but Jeff doesn't hear it, because from where he's sitting he has the perfect view of Eddie's neck.

Hence he has the perfect view of the purplish-red bruise above the collar of his t-shirt, and Jeff finally can't stop himself.

"Eddie."

"Hm?"

He turns his head to look at him, and the second their eyes meet, Jeff knows he knows. Eddie's eyes widen, and he slowly reaches to his shirt collar, pulling it up (down?) so it covers the bruise.

"Is there something you want to share with us?"

"...No?"

"What's going on?" Gareth asks, watching them.

"Eddie has a hickey."

"Jeff!"

"You wore a loose t-shirt, did you think we weren't gonna see it?"

Eddie just groans obnoxiously, throwing his arms up to cover his face, and Jeff grins when he sees how red he is. Ian laughs, reaching out to poke at his legs, ignoring the way Eddie is kicking at him.

"Eddie-e-e," Gareth sings. "Who is it?"

"It's no one, fuck off."

"Edmund. Edward. Eduardo."

"Oh my god."

He pushes himself to sit up, avoiding their eyes, and he sits at the edge of the bed, turning a little to make sure Jeff can see him too.

"Okay," he says, huffing. "I..."

"Who is it?" Gareth prompts. Jeff is beaming. He loves being right.

"I can't... I can't give you a name, he's not... out." Eddie's looking down at his lap.

"Okay," Gareth says, still waiting. "Is he your boyfriend?"

"...Yeah."

"Is he the reason you listen to Toto and shit now?" Jeff says, and Eddie looks up at him, his hair flying.

"I don't listen to Toto and shit," he says defensively. "He listens to Toto and shit and I allow it because I love him--"

Ian and Gareth let out identical shouts, and Jeff's eyes and grin widen. Eddie turns redder, rolling his eyes to the ceiling and covering his face.

"You love him?" Gareth says loudly, reaching out to rustle his hair. "Love?"

"Shut up," Eddie groans, but he's starting to smile under his hands as they all laugh.

"Why?" Ian asks.

"Why do I love him?"

"Yeah."

Eddie sighs heavily, rolling over the edge of the bed and falling to the ground with a heavy thud that makes them laugh again. He lies on his back, laying starfished on the ground and looking at the ceiling, eyes wide and dreamy.

"He's just... He's so great. He's beautiful. Fucking gorgeous. And funny as hell, even though he doesn't even try to be. And he's... kind. Like really, genuinely kind, and-- and selfless. He loves his friends, he'd do anything for them." He pauses, his smile faltering for a moment, tilting his head. "He makes me feel safe."

They're all quiet. Eddie hasn't gushed about any of his crushes in ages, not since Steve Harrington graduated. (And, God, wasn't that a time. Eddie was bitter about it, about how much he liked him, but every time someone brought him up, Eddie would turn into a blushing, smiling mess. Embarrassing.)

"Was he involved in everything?" Ian asks softly, and Eddie swallows, blinking at the ceiling, his face going a little blank. That happens every time it comes up. Everything. He'll zone out or look distant, and his voice will become a little empty in a way that makes Jeff feel sick.

"Yeah," Eddie says, blinking again. He takes a deep breath, and he looks like he's trying to stay there, in his body. "He's... He's the reason I'm alive."

They're quiet.

"Shit," Gareth says succinctly.

"Yeah."

"He's good to you?" Jeff asks.

Eddie sighs, smiling again.

"He's so good to me. He listens to me talk nonstop about D&D and shit even though he doesn't know anything about it, and he asks me questions, and he shows me stuff that he likes and he always looks so excited that I just... Like. Can't help but like it too."

"Is the basketball his?"

Eddie lifts his head, squinting at him.

"You saw that?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah, it's his."

"Did you give him your ring?"

"Jesus, are you a fucking detective?"

Jeff grins. Eddie lays his head back down.

"Yeah, I gave it to him."

"Wait," Gareth says, leaning over the edge of the bed, looking at Eddie. "I didn't see the hickey, lemme see."

"Absolutely not."

"Lemme see-e-e..."

----------------------------------------------------------

It's Friday night at the Hideout. They've been getting bigger crowds since Eddie's charges were dropped, metalheads and weirdos coming from across the state to see Eddie Munson live on stage, with his wild hair and scarred neck.

They're nearing the end of their setlist, pausing to drink water, grinning and laughing across the stage. Eddie is having a blast. He hasn't stopped beaming, even as he sings about hell and a house on fire. Jeff wonders if his face is sore from smiling.

The next song is called Midas. Jeff assumes it's about Eddie's boyfriend. It's heavy, bold and screamy. It makes Eddie's voice rough, but he doesn't seem to care at all.

Would you let me kneel at your feet and press my lips to your ring? Would it bring you a spark of joy? Will your smile make the clouds sing?

Jeff looks into the crowd, squinting in the blinding fluorescent lights, and he feels fucking alive here, like the music is coursing through his veins, like every shout from the crowd is rejuvenating him. His eyes scan the front row, looking at the girls with dark makeup and the boys will long hair, at the leather jackets and denim vests and pins that flash under the lights and-- Is that Steve fucking Harrington?

Jeff almost falters, but he looks away from the boy, keeps playing, pretends he isn't there, but he can't help but look back by the next verse, his propped up as he plays. It sure looks like Harrington, complete with the floppy hair, but there's no way Steve Harrington is in the front row of a metal show, wearing a battle vest and smiling. The lights are flashing, running over the crowd like water, and Jeff can't see clearly, and it can't be.

My man with his holy touch Won't you turn my heart to gold? Press your hands into my chest My heart is yours to hold

Eddie's voice is breaking, and Jeff glances at him, curious if he's seen the Steve look-alike in the front row, the Steve look-alike that seems to be beaming up at him, wide-eyed, but Eddie's eyes are squeezed shut as he sings and strums his guitar.

Take my hand baby, make me yours My beautiful king Midas They'll tell us gold's a sin, but They can't stop what's inside us

Jeff's ears are ringing when it's all over, when they get off the stage to talk with some people. (It feels weird to call them fans. They aren't fans, Corroded Coffin isn't big enough to have fans.) Some people that work at the Hideout are moving the equipment, taking the drums and guitars and amps, and Jeff is sitting at the edge of the stage, talking with a girl that sat toward the back of the bar. She's holding a beer bottle, and she has a beautiful smile, but even as she talks to him, he can't help but realise that Eddie is nowhere in sight.

So he excuses himself politely, slipping past her and finding his way backstage, looking around until he opens a door, and Eddie has his back to the wall, holding a boy against himself. A boy with bare, scar-covered arms, wearing a denim vest, with floppy brown hair that's twisted around Eddie's fingers as Eddie groans loudly because the boy is slipping a leg between Eddie's, and it's nearly filthy, the sounds they're making, because they're licking into each other's mouths, groaning and whining and murmuring and Jeff can't look away.

"Fuck, Stevie," Eddie chokes as the boy buries his face in Eddie's neck, and--

"Oh my god."

Eddie and Steve part with startled shouts, detaching and stumbling as they both flush red and look at Jeff with wide eyes.

"Jeff, why?" Eddie says loudly, breathing hard.

"Uh." He blinks. "You're the one making out in a public place."

"Oh, Jesus." Eddie bends over, taking a deep breath, groaning. Steve is staring at Jeff, wide-eyed and terrified, and Jeff takes a moment to take him in. He's wearing eyeliner, smudged and dark around his eyes (sparkly eyes), and his hair is touselled, longer than it was in high school. He's wearing a black shirt under the battle best, and oh, that's Eddie's vest. His jeans are light blue and fitted, and his hands are shaking, and he has the same scar around his neck that Eddie has. Jeff's body is consumed with curiosity and confusion, but it doesn't matter, because Steve is shaking, and Eddie is taking his hand, squeezing.

"Jeff, can you keep your mouth shut about this?" Eddie asks, his eyes imploring, begging, and Jeff nods.

"I saw nothing," he says. "I don't even know where I am, I was just trying to find the bathroom."

Steve cracks a smile, and he's totally Eddie's type.

"Oh," Jeff says, blinking. "King Midas."

Steve's cheeks flush with color again, and Jeff says, "Oh, right, sorry," before he turns on his heal and walks out.

"Where'd you go?" Ian asks when he gets out to Eddie's van.

"Bathroom."

"Where's Eddie?"

"No idea, I couldn't find him. Dumbass probably got lost."

He's always been good at lying.

Eddie comes out after another ten minutes, looking a little touseled but no more so than he does after most gigs. He apologizes, and jokes that he got lost, and Gareth and Ian laugh. Eddie hops in the front seat, asks if they want to go to his place for drinks, and they all say yes. As they're headed to his apartment, crossing the parking lot, Eddie lingers back and speaks quietly to Jeff.

"He's, uhm. Gonna meet us at my place."

"I thought you guys were keeping this quiet."

"We are, mostly, he just... His best friend knows about us. And you know--"

"Sorry about that, by the way."

"No, it's..." Eddie shakes his head. "Not your fault, we were fully making out in a public place, we just, uhm."

"Were worked up," Jeff finished for him, and in the light of the streetlights above them, Eddie flushes red.

"...Yeah."

Jeff snickers and pokes at him.

"So he wants to... meet the guys?"

"Yeah. I talk about you a lot, so he said he trusts you guys if I do, and I do, so."

Jeff nods, smiling.

"He's pretty cool."

"He's a prep, Jeff, he's adorable."

"I cannot believe your type is normies."

"Shut up."

When Steve shows up, he lets himself in. He has a key.

"Hi."

Ian and Gareth both look up at him from where they're sitting on the sofa, glancing him up and down, recognizing him, questioning him, wondering.

"Hi?"

"So, uhm..." Eddie goes to stand next to Steve, his eyes shining at him like he's asking something silently, and Steve nods a little bit, taking a breath. "Ian, Gareth, Jeff. Steve." He gestures to all of them, and Steve waves awkwardly. Jeff sees Eddie's ring on his finger.

"Hi," Ian and Gareth say again. Jeff lifts his chin up at him, smiling when their eyes meet.

"Uh." Eddie pauses, gesturing to Steve again. "...Boyfriend."

Ian and Gareth both blink, and Jeff grins, watching the gears turn in their head.

"Oh," Ian says. "Cool."

Gareth stares for a second before,

"I cannot believe you got with your high school crush after high school."

Steve beams.

He ends up going to Eddie's room and coming back in Eddie's clothes, in a sweater and some sweatpants, and they sit on the floor together as the guys ask them questions. They skirt their way around some of them, without even glancing at each other to figure out what the other will say, It's like they're perfectly in tune with each other. Eddie plays with Steve's fingers while they all talk.

Jeff can tell that Ian and Gareth are also surprised but are keeping it under wraps. Surprised that King Steve is the boy Eddie was talking about when he described his boyfriend's kindness, selflessness, bravery, when he said He makes me feel safe, but even now it's obvious that it's true. Eddie leans up against him and holds his arm, gazes at him and kisses his shoulder for no reason. He's in love.

Jeff tells Eddie later all the clues he gave without meaning, and he realises the Bowie poster was a clue after hearing Steve humming Heroes. Oh well. He was still right.

[clubdionysus]

[BAD DECISION #44] Skinny Dipping

warnings: fluffy goodness <33 a lil smut, creampie, fingers in said creampie, like it's not smut as such but its a thing?? idk lol, v important conversations!! a plot chapter!!

notes: look im sorry it's one chapter again waaa I had work today!! next week we'll get more bc the next 5 or so chapters all need to be uploaded together hehe <3

wc: 10.6K

bd total wc: 540k (ongoing)

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

As you glance across the beach to where Jeongguk sits with Yoongi and Namjoon, you're pleased to find his eyes on you. Give him a small nod. It's reciprocated, a subtle dimple forming in his cheek.

The laughter of your friends is spliced with the crackle of firewood that burns at seven-hundred degrees Celsius in front of you.

Sitting by the beach, under a crescent moon, you're smitten by the simplicity of a good life.

There's a beauty to Jeongguk and the way he carries himself, and you consider yourself lucky to indulge in it. You hold his gaze until he sips on his beer, at which point Danbi asks you a question—something about whale sharks. Why the fuck she thinks you'll know anything about whale sharks you'll never know, but find yourself back engrossed in conversation regardless.

Jeongguk watches on for a little while longer. Likes how you're wearing your hair loose for a change instead of in a claw clip (of which he also loves). The glitter on your skin sparkles in the light of the fire, and Jeongguk thinks the stars are pale in comparison to you tonight.

If you were looking at him, he'd silently say 'pretty' . Instead, he just thinks about how pretty you are. Pretty, pretty baby.

Compiled by Namjoon and Yoongi, the campfire they've got going would be better referred to as a bonfire. Tall and imposing, it illuminates the darkness of the beach with a warm orange glow.

Tiny embers flutter up into the sky, like the butterflies that so often like to dance around in your stomach these days.

You're reminded of them with every stolen glance in the direction of your best friend.

Freshly showered —alone, because you'd scarpered as soon as you'd laid eyes on Hayun's danger-red lips— Jeongguk is full of boyish charm, hair still waving around his features even if it is a lot shorter than it used to be. His lip ring catches in the light of the flames, silver in a myriad of golden hues, much like his eyes. For once it's not the stars sparkling in his eyes.

It was a conscious yet undiscussed decision that had been made between you both to sit as far apart as you possibly could. Not for a lack of desire —you'd be on his lap right now, if you could be— but more so to keep up the facade you've grown so accustomed to wearing around him. Unbothered. Unaffected. Unswayed by the glow of his honey skin in the warm haze of the fire, and oblivious to the warmth that's also being cast over him by the rose-tinted glasses that you tend to wear in his presence.

It's not like you need to be close right now. You're both wrapped up in different conversations, and truth be told, you like it better this way. Enjoy the ache in your chest that comes with being apart. Perhaps you're a masochist, or perhaps you just forgot how lovely it is to pine without pain.

Sipping on make-shift cocktails of whatever was left in the fridge, there's no real motive to the evening, other than enjoy the company of your nearest and dearest.

Tomorrow morning you'll go on a coastal hike, and then it will be time to bid farewell to the weekend.

Despite the hiccups, you don't think you would have changed a thing - and when Jeongguk once again catches you staring and bites down on his lip, you're certain wouldn't change a thing.

He tilts his head back. Challenges you. Mouths, c'mere.

You shake your head, but lift your empty drink. Knock your head to the side, in the direction of the main house. Silently say, come with?

He's on his feet and heading towards the house before you even get a chance to blink. Is just eager to be with you. Loves his friends, but kinda wishes he could have you all to himself.

He doesn't wait for you. It's deliberate. Not because he doesn't want to, but because he has a tiny little scenario in his head that he wishes to play out.

As soon as you get to the house, you see why.

Standing behind the kitchen island, he's got a tea towel over his shoulder, an empty cup in his hand and a glint in his eyes. The main lights are off, fairy lights sparking just like your heart is.

"Welcome to Dionysus," he grins, all charming and goofy, trying not to giggle. A sight to behold. Beautiful boy. "What can I get for you?"

Half-empty bottles line the kitchen counter, and Jeongguk looks right at home. Right where he belongs.

When you come to stand opposite him, elbows resting on the counter, hands clasped beneath your chin, you're trying to fight a smile.

You're losing. Giggle, too. Bite down on your bottom lip, and close your eyes, 'cause even looking at him like this is enough to drive you wild.

"Something that will fuck me up, but—"

"Is also delicious?" Jeongguk finishes for you, with a smile so fond you think he could end world wars. He's kinda awestruck by the fact you remember anything from that first meeting. Plays it cool, though. "I know just the thing."

He wastes no time scrambling together one of his infamous purple shots. Makes four. Two for you, two for him. You watch on with kind eyes, so inexorably smitten.

He raises his glass to cheers your shot against his, glasses clinking like bells chiming at a church wedding.

Silly, trivial thoughts for a silly, trivial interaction.

"How much do I owe you, Mr barman? For the drinks?" You beam, unaware of the fact you're looking at him like he's responsible for stringing up stars in the night sky.

He shrugs. "Not much. Just a kiss."

"You're a terrible businessman," you tell him, eyes fixed on his smile as he walks around the counter to meet you.

He simply nods. Lets his body fall into a natural state of being as he reaches you, zero thought given to the way he cups your jaw. "A kiss for a shot. Pay up."

Perhaps you shouldn't be so reckless. Perhaps you shouldn't kiss him out in the open for any prying eyes to see. Perhaps you no longer care.

Jeongguk sure as hell doesn't.

Lips on yours, it's innocent. No intrusion of tongue, no pressing of his hips to your tummy. Just a kiss. Him and you. One star to another.

Pulling away, he peppers you with one, two, three more tiny pecks. "Would you like a receipt?"

You shake your head. Pull him back in for another kiss. Just one. "Sorry. Thought you deserved a tip."

Laughing as he hands you your second shot, Jeongguk is in good spirits. Swigs down his own shot, then gets to making the long version of the drink. Says, "Star Lover alright? There's a little coke left if you just want a vodka coke."

Shaking your head, you smile. "Star Lover is perfect."

There's a casual intimacy to the way Jeongguk makes your drink first, his second. Had been drinking beer all evening, but switches to Star Lovers, 'cause it's what you want.

He wants the taste on his tongue to match yours, just so he doesn't go insane thinking about it.

"Sit with me," he says gently as you meander back to the beachfront, a hand on the small of your back.

Sipping your drink, you shake your head. "Hayun'll just glare."

Jeongguk laughs. "She'll glare anyways."

He kind of feels guilty for Hayun's bad behaviour. It's the second time today you've mentioned her intrusive eyes, and it's becoming clear that it's bothering you.

"I can speak to her?" He offers. "I know she can a bit difficult—"

Shaking your head, you don't let him finish his train of thought. "I don't wanna make drama out of nothing —and anyways, it's not like we're... yanno... together."

Jeongguk knows you're right. Doesn't care. Speaks it into existence.

"Kind of are, though, aren't we?"

"No," you reply ever so pleasantly. There's a nonchalance to your tone. One that intrigues him. Makes him disregard any feelings of rejection he could tie to that statement. You glance across to him with a light smirk, then add, "Well, you haven't asked me to be with you, have you?"

Jeongguk stops. Purses his lips. Could ask you right now, if he wanted to, but he's got a plan. Is specific in how he wants to do things.

He also knows that once you get back home and back to reality, there are external factors that will interrupt the sanctuary of what it's like when you're together. It won't just be you and him anymore. It will be you, and him, and responsibilities, and jobs and whatever else the universe wants to throw your way.

He doesn't believe that life can be as easy as it feels like when he's with you. Has never known it to be easy this easy. Has also never known what it's like to be yours, but that's neither here nor there.

You've another exhibition on your plate, and he's got business affairs to sort with the bank. The timing really isn't doing him any favours, but he wants things to be perfect when he asks you to commit to him. Thinks you deserve at least that; security in all aspects. Wants to be the kind of man worthy of you.

Has seen your ex. Seen the guy you casually dated. Both were well-established. Financially sorted. Thinks that it must be your type. Thinks that he has to be like that, too, to be worthy of you.

Thing is, you've never wanted perfect.

These days, all you really want is him. And while yes, it could be argued that Jeon Jeongguk is perfect, he has his flaws too. Is human.

It's his humanity that you adore; the slight overlap of his top teeth when he smiles, and the cute little puffs that form beneath his eyes, too. The noises he makes when he's focusing and the noises that he makes when he's sleeping, entirely unfocused. The way he sinks into his duvet when he's sleepy, and the way he sinks into your body as if it's his most natural state of being. There's little about him you don't love. The freckles on his skin that you've kissed a hundred times over. The scar on his cheek. The way he twists his spine to click his back and the sigh of relief he always exhales afterwards.

Perfect has never been part of your criteria.

Partner has been.

And when you cook, Jeongguk will always wash up. Sometimes, he'll goof around with you at the same time, speaker on, your joint playlist playing while you dry the dishes. Other times, he'll insist you go and wait for him in bed.

He closes his curtains every single time you stay over, even though he's used to sleeping with them open. Turns off his alarm even if his body clock still wakes him at ass o'clock.

You detour your walks home from work to catch him as he's leaving the gym, a cup of coffee from his favourite cafe in your hand. Have his loyalty card linked to your phone so that he can collect your free stamps, even if you buy just as many coffees from there as he does, these days.

The sacrifices you make for each other are minimal. Meaningful.

So no, you're not together.

But you're partners, whether you want to admit to it or not.

"You're so impatient, Disco Ball," he teases as he catches up with you, hooking onto your belt loop to pull you back in line with him. "Good things come to those who wait."

"And great things pass those who wait by," you counter.

You're just teasing, and he knows this. It doesn't fill him with fear. Not really. None more so than normal.

"Patience," he simply states. "It's a virtue, B."

"Always been far more in tune with my vices."

"You're impossible."

"S'why you love me," you flirt, not giving him the chance to respond before you head back down to the shore. "C'mon, Jimin'll be spreading rumours about our sex life if we're any longer."

He hasn't —but he does mumble, "Hmm, quicker than usual. Embarrassing," to Jeongguk as he sits back down.

Jeongguk just lightly slaps the back of his friend's head, and resists ripping into him for the disastrous encounters he knows his housemate has had with you. Thinks it would be a little too mean.

Instead, he just glances back over to you, a pretty smile on his lips as you laugh with your friends. The way in which you've become so integrated with one another's lives proves to Jeongguk that this is right.

It's exactly how it's supposed to be.

Why else would you meld so perfectly into one if it was not aligned by the stars themselves? There's no 'star-crossed' about you two. Were always destined to crash into one another. Was mapped out. Plotted. Planned by Venus, executed by Mars. Solidified by the karmic constance of Saturn, and nurtured by the careful understanding of Mercury.

Written in the stars, were you and Jeongguk; lived out on earth for a finite time. Seems silly to waste it.

But is time together ever wasted?

Jeongguk doesn't think so, but he does miss being in conversation with you. Encourages the group into a series of little drinking games, just so that he maybe gets the chance to banter with you.

The flames of the bonfire lick at your heart every time he glances in your direction. Is charred within seconds. It's not the black hole you've convinced yourself you'll become if you finally give into your feelings; but it's one that you much prefer. A warm heart, in a chest that isn't your own. You'll keep his safe for as long as he keeps yours safe, too.

"Never have I ever," Jimin sucks in a little air between his teeth, the game playing on around you.

You've only half your Star Lover left.

Or should that be you've only half of your drink left. There's a star across the crackling fire who's very much full of love for you.

Never Have I Ever has become a staple across the weekend. With so many players, you're always learning something new about one another, but Jimin doesn't care to learn anything new right now. He just wants to get as many people drinking as he can—and that includes himself.

"Okay," Jimin continues. "Never have I ever slept with someone in the circle."

Little fucker.

Your eyes flicker to Jeongguk. The only people who aren't raising a glass to their lips are Namjoon and Hoseok. Even Nabi drinks, which causes a little bit of a stir from Seoyeon.

"Sorry?!"

"Oh, it was one time," she cringes, bunching up her face.

From across the circle, Jimin snorts.

"With Jimin?!"

"I was young!" Nabi cries. "Naive! He was just there!"

"Okay, one—rude," Jimin interrupts. "And two—many people have shagged me. I've shagged many people. Hardly a surprise, now, is it?"

The rest of the circle laughs and jokes about what a terrible pairing they'd make, but secretly you're relieved. It softens the weight of your encounters with him.

The commotion of it all allows for the sip you take to go largely unnoticed.

Or at least you think it does, until the game reaches Hayun.

"Never have I ever," she hums, stringing out the final word as if deep in thought or contemplation. Maybe you're a cynic, but you don't buy it. Think she knows exactly what she's going to say. She waits it just a moment longer, then finishes. "Hooked up with multiple people in this circle."

Fuck.

It's a smart question, you'll give her that much. It'll force Jeongguk's hand. Make him admit to his history, as well as his present.

Thing is, it'll force yours too. You don't think she's aware of this. Nobody is.

From your peripherals, eyes too busy locked on Jeongguk, you see the subtle shake of Jimin's head. Can't hear him as he whispers to Jeongguk, "I'm not drinking."

The last thing Jimin wants is to give Hayun any ammunition. Doesn't think it should matter at all, not in the slightest, but knows how Hayun works. If she thinks she has one up against you, she'll use it, no doubt. You fucking Jimin and Jeongguk is exactly the kind of shit she'd use to weasel her way into Jeongguk's brain.

Jeongguk's eyes flicker over to you.

Realistically, he doesn't care if anyone knows.

If he drinks, he knows it means announcing your business to the group. Doesn't wanna be the one to take your privacy away from you, should it be something you wish to preserve.

You've never really feared judgement for your past endeavours, but you've also never been in a situation like this. Jimin is Jeongguk's best friend.

Both busy locked in internal battles, you don't realise that it's been a few seconds of vacant staring at one another. Are interrupted by Hayun again, saying, "Gguk?"

Before he even gets a chance to respond, your voice drowns her out.

"Never have I ever been skinny dipping!"

It's not your turn, and you're well aware the distraction will be noticeable, but you don't care.

Hayun had been attempting to turn a fun little game into something far more dramatic than it needs to be, and frankly, you don't have the energy for it. All you want is to have fun, and you can't for the life of you figure out why she insists on being such a miserable cow all of the time.

Thankfully, debate breaks out amongst your friends. Turns out, only Soeyeon and Yoongi have ever done it before, and so the rules are changed.

"Okay, either you take three shots, or you skinny dip now," Jimin declares - because of course he's the one making bad decisions for you all as a collective.

And yet everyone just seems to go along with it, enticed by the allure of released inhibitions under a crescent moon. The water sparkles as if there are a billions stars hidden beneath it. Even though you know it's impossible, part of you feels like you'll be right at home in the waves. They're tepid at this time of night. Settled by the moonlight that shines down upon them.

Pulling his shirt by the nap of his neck, Jeongguk chucks it to the ground and makes sure he's positioned right beside you.

"There's jellyfish in these waters," you mumble, knowing that it's absolutely a stupid idea —yet you shed yourself of your shirt (that really belongs to him), too.

He's loosening the buttons of his pants, as he says, "S'why I'm keeping my boxers on. Not risking my cock."

"They can probably sting through clothes."

They can't. Not the moon jellies, at least.

"Don't say that," he whines, pushing down his trousers while you also slip out yours. "Bra?"

"Do you mind?"

"Not my tits, are they?" Jeongguk just shrugs. Doesn't think he has any right to tell you how much skin you can show, and it's not like anyone is actually gonna be looking. Not like that at least.

You're on the peripherals. The rest of your friends are kind of coupled up; Danbi with Taehyung, Nabi with Hayun, Namjoon with Hoseok and Jimin... Well, Jimin is Jimin. He's kind of everywhere all at once.

Still, he's well acquainted with your tits, and it's not like seeing him stark bollock naked is gonna do anything for you. Been there, done that, got his housemates T-shirt, or however the saying goes.

"Hmm, they kinda are yours," you shrug, looking across to Jeongguk, sultry through your lashes.

"Don't say shit like that," he husks, a hunger in his pained expression. You don't think he realises that he's licking his lips, toying with his lip ring. "I'll get hard."

Smiling, you roll your eyes, as if it's not exactly the reaction you wanted. "You're so easy."

"Fuck off," he grins. "But no, do whatever you like. "

Secretly, Jeongguk likes the idea of other people knowing what you look like beneath your clothes. Likes that he's the one who gets to touch you. Likes that it's mouth that will no doubt be sucking on your nipples before the night is over.

Maybe he does have a thing for exhibitionism... fuck .

One thing is for sure, though: he's getting a semi now that he's thinking about it.

Thankfully, Soeyeon and Yoongi are counting everyone down. Sitting on the beach still, they're watching on. Have done it once before. Don't feel the need to do it again. Also kinda wanna just be alone for a second, just to indulge in one another.

"Three..."

Reaching up your back, you snap the clasp apart, and let your bra drop to the sand below you. Have completely forgotten about the fact that there's more than just you and Jeongguk around. He's all that you're looking at, and it's reciprocated.

"Two..."

"I'm so fucking obsessed with you," Jeongguk states. Plain and simple. No frills. What's the point in pretending like he isn't? Should have told you months ago. "Like... Holy shit."

"One!"

Yelping a little as Jeongguk grabs your hand, your other hand holding onto your poor unsupported tits as you hurtle into the freezing water, the adrenaline is enough to keep you going.

You're far too drunk to be doing something so reckless, but Jeongguk keeps himself close to you. Won't ever let you get into danger. Hooks an arm around your waist. Doesn't let you go.

"Can't just say shit like that," you laugh, water splashing around you.

Your friends are close by, basking in the moonlight, but all you focus on is him.

"Can."

"Can't."

"Why not?"

" 'Cause ," is all you say, and it gets Jeongguk beaming from ear to ear.

Though it's dark, there's enough light from the shoreline lights to clue you in on the dimples that are forming; his happiness hard to hide.

"I can stop, if you like?" he offers, that smile still ever-present.

"No, you can't," you smile right back. "You can't just stop being obsessed with someone. Can't just lose that."

"True," he accepts, and then just decides fuck it. Keeps an arm wrapped around your back, the gentle waves lapping against your shoulders, while his other hand rests at the base of your throat. Gets a little closer. Nudges his nose up against yours. Husks, "think losing you would destroy me, B."

"Mhmm?" You tease, reciprocating, nudging your nose deeper against his. "Better hold me tighter, then."

And so he does. Gets your chest pressed to his. Tightens his grip around your throat. You're at his disposal. Holds every single fucking card —and for once, you're happy to lose control. For Jeongguk, you'll fold.

"Tight enough?" He whispers, keeping both afloat as his lips brush yours—until the sound of Namjoon yelling from across the shallow water pulls you and Jeongguk away from the intimacy of your shared embrace.

"Out!" He bellows. "Jellyfish! Everyone out!"

You and Jeongguk somehow hold onto each other even tighter, yet both turn to face the commotion.

"I'm dying," Hoseok wails as Namjoon drags him from the shallow water, Seoyeon and Yoongi rushing over to see what's happened. Knowing Hoseok, it's a lot of fuss over nothing.

"You're fine," Namjoon mumbles, manhandling Hoseok's leg to get a better look once they're safely on the shore. "Yoongi—" he looks over to ask for his phone, of which Yoongi is already passing over, flash on. "—Ah, thanks."

Jeongguk tosses you his shirt as soon as you get to the sand, blocking you from the sight of anyone else but him. Once you're decent, he holds your hand to drag you a little faster to where Hoseok is on the brink of certain death.

"It's fine. Was just a moon jelly," Namjoon assesses, thumb rubbing over the reddening rash on Hoseok's calf. "There's not been any reports of Nomura's jellies out this far yet."

"Should I piss on it?" Jimin asks, and is subsequently shooed away by Danbi.

"I'll die before I let any of you piss on me," Hoseok hisses, then turns to Namjoon. Is ever so sweet as he says, "Unless you think I should?"

Both you and Jeongguk look on in mildly amused horror.

"Is this... flirting?" Jeongguk quietly asks you, nodding towards the treacle-filled eyes Hoseok is looking at Namjoon with.

"I think so?" you giggle so quietly only he can hear you, as your arms wrap around his bare waist. "Please don't ask me to piss on you, too."

"Might be hot," Jeongguk mumbles, draping his arm over your shoulders, pressing a kiss into your wet hair.

"Shut up."

Once it's been assessed that Hoseok really won't die (and Jimin has offered his piss on at least two more occasions) it's decided that bedtime is calling. Quick showers are had to wash off the remnants of the ocean, taken in tandem as some people busy themselves cleaning up the kitchen to make it easier for the morning.

"Hey," Jeongguk says quietly, catching your arm as you walk towards your door after your shower. A small yelp escapes your lips as he pulls you into your room, but there's no resistance from you.

Not when he shuts the door.

Not when he presses your back up against it.

Not when towers above you and traps you in place with his body.

And most definitely not as he presses a kiss into your lips.

Oh, it's so bloody predictable by now. It's like you lose all sense of authority when Jeongguk shows even the lightest dominance.

But there's an undeniable authority to the way in which he touches you, one hand flat to the door beside your head, while the other grips onto your waist. Lips safely right where they're supposed to be, Jeongguk's hip press against your tummy.

Oh, hello.

You softly moan into his lips, surprised by his sudden need to have you like this -but you're not complaining. Not in the slightest. In fact, the way your hands grip his waist and pull him tighter against you would suggest that this is exactly what you've been craving.

"Missed you," he mumbles against your lips.

"Been ten minutes," you hum into his.

"Too long." His hands roam. They're everywhere all at once. Can't decide which part of your body he wants the most. Knows he wants it all. Won't be satisfied until he has it all. "Fuckin' hate showers without you."

"Careful," you whisper, a pretty smile on your lips as he steals a hundred tiny kisses. "You really are starting to sound obsessed."

He just nods. "I am."

Jeongguk speaks in hyperbole. Embroiders his words with the silliest of sequins. Exaggerates just to make you giggle a little.

Now is no exception; except for the fact it's as honest as it is dramatic.

He's also as horny as he is smitten. Wastes no time getting you right where he wants you.

Hands pinned above your head, pressed into the soft feather down of your pillow, Jeongguk trails his lips up your neck.

Wet and wanting, the kisses he dapples your skin in are intentional. He wants your body squirming beneath his much like it is now; the breaths hitching in your throat reaching a point of instability that will no doubt turn into the moans he adores so much.

"Gguk," you rasp, and struggle a little against the grip he has on you —even though it's really just a ruse to get the friction between you both a little more heightened.

He knows what you're doing. Knows you well. Tightens his grip, and presses your wrists deeper into the cotton.

"Mhmm?" He encourages you to keep talking. Loves your voice. Loves hearing it when he's hard. His hips match the pressure of his hand that's pinning down your wrists as he grinds between your legs.

"The others," you reply, voice a little low in tone. "They're still—"

"Don't care," he tells you, lips pressing up your neck to your ear. His tongue flicks against your lobe. Nibbles down. Lips migrate to your cheek. One, two, three pretty kisses until he finds your lips. Steals just one, and says, "Only care about you."

The way your chest presses up to his as you laugh, face turning slightly away from him as a smile breaks on your pouty lips, has Jeongguk realising maybe you should be quiet. He doesn't want anyone else falling in love with you, too.

Wants to keep you his; your laughter all bottled up for him, and him alone.

He's insane at the mere thought of you with someone else. Insatiable every time he hears you laugh at a joke made by someone that isn't him. Interwoven into the fabric of his DNA is the way he feels about you; chemical. Chronic. Catastrophic.

But you're beneath the weight of his body, now, and you're giggling because of him .

"You do care," you tell him regardless. "Your ex is literally down—"

"Not my ex."

Jeongguk interrupts you in a way that sort of just stops you in your tracks. He loosens the grip he has on your wrists, and fills the space in his palm with your cheek, instead. It's not the first time he's downplayed the magnitude of Hayun's impact, but it's always felt like he was kidding himself. The sternness of his tone, this time, is different. Decisive. Final.

"Please don't be hung up on her," he adds. "I'm not."

"No?"

"No, B." Nose nudging up against yours, he's soft when he asks, "Do you trust me?"

With a tepid nod, you confirm that you do. Let your fingers intertwine with his. Say, "With my life."

And so you sink; into the sheets, into his kisses, into the way it feels to be fucked by a man who wouldn't call this fucking at all.

It's more than that. Leg bent at the knee over his elbow, his lips buried into the crook of your neck, Jeongguk isn't searching for relief. He's seeking refuge. Finding a home inside you - and when your walls begin to tighten around him, nails scratching down his back as his lips latch onto your chest, he knows he's found one. Has the keys. Can lock the door. Keep himself safe.

Safe, safe, safe.

You, you, you.

Doesn't take much for him to come undone. Not much at all. Would be embarrassing, if he didn't feel so secure with you.

"Shit," he husks against you in the comedown of it all. Swears, "You were fuckin' made for me, B. Made for me."

His kisses trail all over your body. There's not an inch of skin he doesn't want.

"Always take me so well, don't you?" He praises your spent body, as he nestles into the sheets beside you. Shuffles a little further down the bed so his lips can wrap around your nipples. Lets his hand dip to your soaked pussy. Says nothing as he begins to rub sensual circles against your clit.

"Gguk," you whine, writhing a little in the sheets. You're just as spent as he is.

"Mhmm?" he mumbles, sucking your nipple deeper into his mouth. The sensation of his tongue rubbing against your hardened bud is enough to drive you insane, but the way he toys with your pussy? Even when he's already made you cum? God, he's criminal . A sinner .

"I'll cum again," you whine, shoulders pressing back into the sheets —which only encourages him more.

He sinks a finger into your cunt, with little care for the fact it's just been stuffed with his cock, and that is currently full of his own cum.

"Fuck," you sigh into the sensation, a second finger joining the first.

"Let yourself," he says, pulling himself away from your chest, sinking further down the sheets, until he's between your legs. Does nothing for a moment. Just takes in the sight of you. "Fuckin' love his cunt." Begins to fuck his fingers into you with a little more precision. Gets you writhing . Smirks. "You like that, don't you, baby? Like me pushing my cum into you, huh?"

"Mhmm," is all you can manage to whimper as he begins to stroke up against your sweetest of spots—and when his lips hungrily lap around your clit, you know you're done for.

It doesn't take long for an orgasm to crash over you like the waves you were caught in with him earlier that night.

He teases you through your orgasm, not easing up his fingers nor the suction of his lips. Praises you in the afterglow. Tells you how pretty you are. Prowls back up the bed. Kisses you slowly, then presses his slick covered fingers to your lips. As you accept them into your mouth, he says, "That's it, baby. Clean them up for me. Good girl. Such a good girl for me."

And yet it's Jeongguk who cleans the sheets up when you go to the bathroom to sort yourself out. He's a good boy. A good boy for you .

Waiting for you by the door afterwards, he simply holds his hand out. Guides you downstairs. Decides you'll sleep in his room. Faces no resistance from you in the slightest.

Why would he? All you ever seem to wanna do these days is curl up beside him. Doesn't matter where, doesn't matter when—but if it did, in a bed at two in the morning would seem like a good place for it.

Come the morning, nobody is particularly pleased for the early wakeup, but the coastal hike itself is pretty painless. Despite your previous deliberations, you decide that Danbi is right. There's no need for you to try and get on Hayun's good side.

She sure as hell hasn't tried to get on yours, so what's the point? Will just bring you unnecessary stress that you could really do without.

That being said, you leave Jeongguk to his own devices for the morning. Spend the hike with Danbi and Tae. Hoseok is back by the house, nursing his 'wounds', and Namjoon—the only person who actually seemed excited about the coastal hike—is right there with him, tending him back to full health.

"They're so into each other," Danbi says. "So smitten . It's gross ."

You just look at her —then at the boy whose hand she's holding— and furrow your brows. "Pot, kettle, black?"

"Fuck off," she laughs. "Not like you've got a leg to stand on, little miss 'ohhh, we're just friends .'"

"Fuck off," you laugh right back, but don't argue against her. She has a point, after all.

It's proven when Jeongguk sheepishly comes to your room as you're packing your bags up.

"Hey," you smile as you glance over towards him for just a second. "Nearly finished. Can't find one of my bras."

"It's in with my stuff," Jeongguk says without missing a beat. Knows he packed a few things of yours up with his. A natural consequence of merging into one another's space in the way that you two so often do.

When you look over at him once again, you notice the way he's got one of his arms outstretched. Is waiting for you to fill the space beneath it.

So you do.

Chin resting on his chest, you're looking up at him, smiling as he looks down. There's a little glitter on his skin. Perfection .

"Gotta run the people who came by train back to the station. Wish I could put you in my pocket and just take you everywhere," he mumbles, as if that's a normal thing to say to the girl he's been trying to convince everyone is simply just a friend.

"That'd be really inconvenient."

"No." He simply says.

"Yes."

He mumbles an indication of his disagreement, as the hazy, love-drunk curve of his lips presses down into yours.

The kiss is quick. Fleeting. Just enough to reassure him that he's been making the right choices. Making good decisions.

Pulling away from him, there's a pleasant smile on your lips that just absolutely refuses to budge. There's one on Jeongguk's face too, as he watches on, still leaning against the door frame.

"That wasn't very friendly," you say softly of the teeny tiny kiss you shared.

"No," he agrees. "It wasn't."

A small pad of paper and pen had been left in every room by the host of the house. Just standard hotel-type stuff. Nothing fancy. Not branded. Barely used, 'cause people just tend to use their phones these days, but still a nice thing to have.

Jeongguk had left a few doodles in yours over the weekend. Nothing big, nor fancy—but notably, they're all ripped out when he goes to open it once more, for you've tucked them away in your purse. Keepsakes. Little mementoes. Line drawings of stars, and sketches of your unmade bed. Yours, forever.

You're not really watching him, too busy making sure you've got the last of your items back, as he begins to scribble down into it once more. This time, he's the one who rips it out. Rips it again, to re-shape the rectangle note into a square. Folds it with little precision. Doesn't care for perfection in the same way that he usually does.

His creation is tucked into his back pocket before you even really notice what he's doing.

"Who's going to the station? Hobes, Nam, and Hayun, right?"

Jeongguk nods. "Yeah."

You nod, too. Turn to look at him. Say, "She's not allowed to ride shotgun."

It's not like you mean it. You're just joking .

But you do also say, "That's my space."

And Jeongguk agrees (even if it will enrage Jimin later in the afternoon). It is your space.

So he makes her ride in the back. Says that the seatbelt isn't working properly. "Safety precautions."

In a way, it is a safety precaution—just one for your heart, instead of Hayun's health.

Once they reach the station, Jeongguk helps to ferry the luggage to the platform with them all, and agrees to watch it with Hayun as Namjoon and Hoseok run to grab coffee. It's just an excuse for them to flirt, and he knows this. Decides to let them indulge it. Knows he'd have been annoyed if anyone got in the way of his time spent with you in the early days.

Hell, he gets annoyed at it now. Wants you all to himself, all of the time.

Small talk is made with Hayun. Weather and whatnot. Events of the weekend. Perfectly pleasant, and entirely forced.

Until she says, "So what's the deal then, huh? What's going on with you two?"

Still, she refuses to address you as anything more than a pronoun. Doesn't want to give you the luxury of an authentic existence in her own mind.

"No deal," Jeongguk says.

"Oh come on," she nudges her shoulder against his arm, but is surprised when he dodges the touch.

The Jeongguk she once knew would have thought about the exchange for weeks. This Jeongguk seems to want it erased entirely.

"God, you're touchy," she says, stifling a laugh. "She's turned you into such a"-

"Don't," Jeongguk says, tone soft but stern. "This kind of conversation isn't fair, Hayun. Not on me, and not on yourself. Not on anyone ."

He doesn't name drop you specifically, but the implication is there. She understands. Wishes she didn't.

It's a strange reality for her to live in. One that feels uncomfortable, and new, and foreign.

Yes, she's with a man who once knew her body better than she knew her own mind, but he's entirely different.

The Jeongguk who had drunkenly sobbed into her voicemail for months on end is not the Jeongguk who came out of his room holding your hand yesterday afternoon.

The Jeongguk who had fucked Hayun with more tenderness, more care, more devotion than any other man ever has, is not the Jeongguk who holds you when you cry.

No, the Jeongguk she once knew no longer exists. His vessel is largely the same, yes, but he's got stardust in his veins, now. When he bleeds, he bleeds for you.

"I took you for granted," Hayun admits, arms folded tight over her chest, cherry-red lips pursed. "You're right. I'm sorry."

And it confuses Jeongguk.

Confuses him, 'cause he would have done anything to hear Hayun say it this time last year.

Confuses him, 'cause she seems sincere and yet he doesn't believe her to be, nor does he really care.

Confuses him, 'cause the only thing it really makes him feel is sick.

He remedies the unpleasantness with thoughts of you. God . He just wants to get back to you.

"Or maybe you were right," he offers instead, trying to ease the situation. "Maybe there really is no such thing as right person, wrong time."

She frowns. "How so?"

"If it was the right person, it'd be the right time," he shrugs.

Thinks he met you at the perfect time. Wishes he had met you sooner, but knows he wouldn't have been ready.

"And is she that person?" Hayun finally pouts, deflated. "Is it the right time for her ?"

Jeongguk presses his lips together. Never imagined a reality in which he'd ever be telling Hayun any of this about another girl. Nods. Says, "Yun, when we... Well, you know. Back then, I projected my feelings onto you a lot. Thought that maybe if you saw how much I cared, that you'd care, too—"

"I did."

"No," Jeongguk stops her. "Not in the same way I did. We both know that. Yun, it felt... Felt like I was always fighting a losing battle with you. Sorta got myself hooked on the pain. Sorta like an addiction, in a way."

"That's morbid."

"That's the truth," he shrugs. "But the only thing I've ever fought when it comes to B is my own bloody head."

For the first time in what feels like a lifetime, he glances down at Hayun. Sees her for exactly what she is: just a girl. Was special, 'cause he decided that she was—but she's never sparkled like you do.

He's never had any control over the way he sees you.

"I really care about her," Jeongguk admits. "I can't... I can't be an emotional crutch for you. Not someone to run back to, not someone to confide in in the way that you do. I'm not someone you can flirt with just because you're bored, or lonely."

Every sentence he speaks is like a sucker punch to her chest. She wishes the train would just hurry up.

"I really want to make things work with B."

Shaking her head, arms still tightly folded over her chest, Hayun can't believe the bullshit he's spewing. Thinks he never would have said this shit before you came around.

"So you're just throwing us away?" She almost spits. "Years of friendship, Jeongguk—"

"Years of you using me," he corrects.

"I never—"

"You did," he says firmly, not caring to let her manipulate the situation. "Might not have been your intention, but it is what it is."

Silence hums in between the roaring of train engines. The platform they're on remains empty. Stagnated.

"I didn't mean to," she grumbles. Looks away. Seems to be a shell of herself.

And Jeongguk really does think she means it. Wants to believe that no one would ever be that intentionally cruel.

"I know."

He's not after a fight. Isn't after anything really. Only wants to solidify the foundations you've been building together, and knows that he has to put in a little extra work on his end. Wants you to be secure. Knows you never will be if Hayun is still in the picture.

"Look," he sighs. "We're still gonna see each other around. Still gonna get on just fine —but there's no need for us to hang out one-on-one. No need to catch up. All my news for the foreseeable future is gonna be about B, anyways, and let's not pretend like it's something you'll actually care to hear about."

"What makes her different?" Hayun huffs, taking a seat on the empty bench in the middle of the platform. "What's so special about her?"

"You've met her," Jeongguk states, not joining her on the bench. Keeps his distance. "You know exactly why she's special, Hayun."

She scoffs. Shakes her head.

"So that's it? We're just not friends any more all because of some girl you've known for five minutes?"

"I'm not fighting with you about this. It doesn't have to be a fight."

"You're abandoning me and you expect me to be cool about it?" she scathes. "Throwing away everything we've ever shared all because of some fucking girl—"

"Hayun, I'm in love with her."

He doesn't mean to say it. Doesn't even really realise that he has until she falls silent.

But it's simple, and it's true, and it's acceptance; the way he feels about you has been spoken into existence. It's not big. Not scary. Just a fact of life.

"If she loved you—"

"You've no right to speak on how someone who loves me should treat me," Jeongguk laughs, cutting Hayun off. Really can't be fucked with her anymore. "She never asked me to have this conversation with you, if that's where you're going with this. She's my priority. I'm having this conversation because I know you have a tendency to overstep boundaries and I'll be damned if I let you fuck this up, Hayun."

Silence resumes.

"Look," he eventually sighs. "You were really important to me for a really long time. I'll always have time for you if you desperately need it... but I can't live in the past. Not when I have a future that I'm really excited about. Not when I have a present that makes me feel the way that it does."

But Hayun doesn't like this. Doesn't understand. Is annoyed. Pissed off that she isn't winning.

"Is she better than me?" She asks, deliberately getting a little vulgar, now. Wants him thinking about what it's like to fuck her. Think it's where she'll always reign supreme.

Jeongguk doesn't want to entertain it. "You're different."

Hayun doubles down. "Is she better?"

"Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to," Jeongguk simply shrugs.

"I'll take that as a no," Hayun smirks. Thinks she's won, 'cause why else would not just say 'no'?

But this really does piss Jeongguk off. Gets his jaw tense. Has him snapping.

"This little act of yours ain't cute, Hayun," he laughs—but it's not enough.

There's venom on his tongue, and the only way for him to save himself is to spit it at her instead.

"You ever been fucked by someone who loves you?" He hisses. "Huh? You know how fucking good it is when the person you're with actually gives a shit about you?"

Hayun is silent. They both know the answer. Knows the reason she can't let go is 'cause there's no way she'll get anyone who ever cared as much as he did.

Did.

Past tense.

"Don't ask stupid fuckin' questions," he finally says, a little softer in his tone, but still incredibly stern. She's done damage that can't be undone. He can deal with her being shitty to him, but it's different when she's shitty towards you. "In fact, don't ask jack shit about my fuckin' sex life. That's what I mean by overstepping boundaries. Know your place."

"I didn't mean—"

"I don't care," he says with a shrug of his shoulders as he turns to leave. She doesn't need his help to watch the bags. Her burdens are no longer his. "Conversation's done, Hayun. Couldda been amicable but you just couldn't help yourself. I'm sure I'll see you at the wedding."

He swallows down a 'get home safe', knowing that she'll be fine. Doesn't need his well-wishes, even if he does feel like an asshole.

There's a slight curve to Hayun's lips as he walks away. Proof that she can get under his skin, she thinks. False confirmation that he secretly still cares. Complete delusion. Ignorance of the fact it's his feelings for you that have him riled up. Protective .

His blood is all hot. Those damn stars are burning too brightly in his veins. Feels like they're gonna burst. His chest too, heart beating faster than should really be possible. Matches the speed at which he tanks his car down the country lanes back to the house. Back to you.

And yet when he's parked up in the driveway, he can't help but sit for a little while. Ruminate. Ponder the state of his circumstances. Wonder how it all came to reach this point.

Hands still on his wheel, as he glances up towards the house, it all just kind of fades away. He really did mean it when he said you help him forget about all the bad shit. When he focuses in on you, all he sees is the good.

So he pulls himself together. Greets you with a squeeze of your waist as he walks past and sets to loading up the car. Doesn't check the side-house, 'cause he trusts you to have remembered everything. Relinquishes control to you in a way that's unusual of him—but nothing about the pair of you is entirely 'usual'.

Never has been.

Jeongguk thinks he'd like it if your unusual affection for one another became the usual for you. Strange to others, maybe, but just right for him.

"No, call it again. Reload!" Jimin whines when you call shotgun just before all leave.

Jeongguk doesn't reload. Says, "Don't hate the player, hate the game."

Jimin threatens to use Jeongguk's good towel when he gets home, but it doesn't work.

See, Jeongguk wants you close. Close, close, close. Wants to hold your hand when he drives, but knows that he can't, so settles on this instead.

It's about twenty minutes into the drive when Jimin starts whining again. You've fallen asleep, the lull of the heater and chilled playlist Jeongguk has chosen soothing you. It's been an exhausting weekend, and it's not like you've been sleeping enough. Had told yourself you wouldn't fuck Jeongguk, not even once, throughout the weekend. Failed.

Jeongguk hushes his friend. "Don't wake her. She's not been sleeping well."

Yeah, Jimin internally scoffs. Heard it for myself.

Thankfully, he does settle. Can sense Jeongguk isn't in the mood to bicker. Eventually, Jimin naps too, and so do Danbi and Taehyung. It's a quiet journey, but one that Jeongguk thinks he needed. Alone time was sparse for the past few days. He needs a moment to recharge.

Traffic is light for a Sunday, roads peaceful. Often, he's the only car for miles. Likes it better this way.

It's a solid half an hour before he speaks again.

"Rise and shine," Jeongguk says softly, pulling you from your tranquil state. Still in the passenger seat of his car, he gently squeezes your knee, helping to bring you back to the realm of the living.

"Hmm?" you chirp, a little confused as you begin to stretch out.

You're unfamiliar with your surroundings, but can tell you're at a service station. It's a carbon copy of all the other ones along the motorway, just with slightly different bedazzled tat on offer in the marque stall out the front of it. Trot music blares from the speakers, and the scent of fried snack foods waft in through the open windows of his car.

The parking lot has ample space for three hundred cars, but you're not sure there's even thirty here. Cracks in the cement floor are sprouting with fresh spring weeds, and the empty retail units out front are almost indistinguishable from the ones that are still in business. It's drab. Bleak. Void of life.

"Where are the others?" You question, glancing behind yourself to see that the backseats are all empty.

"Wanted food," he clarifies, hand now resting on your inner thigh. You don't mind. Not in the slightest. "Said I'd wait with you and see if you wanted anything."

It's sweet, the way his eyes are always deep and dark whenever they look at you. There's an innocence to Jeongguk—to his intentions—even if you know that he isn't innocent in the slightest.

It boils down to the fact he's a genuinely good person. Will never let someone be left out, even if they are sleepy and would have happily slept through the entire service stop. The light shining in through the windows illuminates his dewy skin, highlighting all the teeny tiny flecks of glitter on him. It makes you smile. Makes you part your legs a little wider.

It's not like you're actively looking to entice him—you're just sleepy, and cosy, and he's handsome, and lovely. It's a match made in heaven.

The way his half-zipped sweatshirt hangs off his frame, revealing the vest that's tight to his chest, just really does something to you. Paired with the chain you know looks oh so good when it's dangling in front of your face?

Well, who could blame you?

Jeongguk smirks. Narrows those big brown Bambi eyes of his. Says, "From the shop. I'm checking to see if you want anything from the shop. Not from me."

"I'm all good," you shake your head, then stretch into a comfier position. Jeongguk stays with you. Doesn't bother going to get himself a snack. Will eat when he's home. Just wants to revel in the last few moments alone before your friends rejoin you.

Once they do, the rest of the drive is plain sailing.

You're dropped off first, Danbi staying in the car to head straight to Taehyung's place.

In all honesty, you'd been expecting to enjoy the quiet after a weekend of chaos. A chance to recharge your batteries. Time alone is typically your favourite way to unwind.

And yet today it isn't. In fact, you feel lonely, which is a rarity.

There's an emptiness to your bedroom.

With Danbi at Taehyung's, and Jeongguk at his own place, you don't really know what to do with yourself. Your entire afternoon routine feels lethargic. Unexciting. You shower, put on your laundry, have a mild panic because a rogue hair slide makes the washing machine wail for a while, then hang it out to dry on the roof of your apartment building.

You've not got much of a cityscape view from the rooftop—not like Jeongguk's apartment does—but it's something better than nothing. In a block of low-rise apartment buildings, you've always been quietly fond of the area. The traffic is light, a few roads back from the busy main street, and there's only one yappy pomeranian in the next building over to disturb the peace. It's home.

Elbows resting on the rooftop wall, you can't help but frown as a sad reality begins to kick in. The lease is up in a few months. Given how much time Danbi spends at Taehyung's studio, it seems only natural for her to move in with him when the time comes.

Moving doesn't appeal to you right now. You're settled. Content. Sure, Hoseok could move in, but he's gotten used to the expensive end of town. You doubt he'd be willing to come back to the squalor of your district.

Equally, Jeongguk and Jimin already have a pretty stable arrangement - not that you'd even want to live with them. You and Jimin have conflicting interior design tastes, and Jeongguk is annoying enough as it is. Living with him would only serve to make you lose your mind.

You've many options, realistically. Roommates, finding somewhere smaller, keeping the place you currently have but doubling your monthly rent expenses. All viable choices.

Still, it's nothing that needs to be decided yet. Both time and circumstances will change. They always do. Decisions, the good and bad, still have time to be made.

Flopping down onto your bed when you get back into your apartment, there's a weight to your shoulders. A sigh in your lungs. An ache where your heart resides.

With every pulse of your heart you can feel it.

And so can Jeongguk.

On his back, staring up at his own ceiling, he's silent. The echo of the TV vibrates through the wall, Jimin on the other side, but Jeongguk just sort of blocks it all out. Arm draped over his own waist, forlorn eyes studying the slight movement of the washi-taped birds in his AC unit breeze, there's little else he can think of but you.

It's not like this is a new thing. It's been months of Jeongguk having a disco ball for a brain. A slow process, he thinks. Was just flecks of glitter at first, trapped in his limbic system. Somewhere between the amygdala and hypothalamus.

But they multiplied. Spiralled. Crystalised.

And now his brain is hundreds of tiny mirrored shards, all reflecting an image of you.

Part of him thinks it should drive insane; that it should feel claustrophobic to never have his brain to himself.

He simply doesn't feel that way, though. Can't explain it. Just is what it is.

Thoughts of you are interrupted by the presence of Jimin —although it's not like the thoughts actually cease to exist. It's sort of like music playing when you're reading a book, or the sound of crashing waves while you sunbathe on the beach. Just 'cause he's distracted, doesn't mean they aren't there.

Jeongguk says nothing, just grunts as Jimin crashes down onto his bed uninvited. Facedown, Jimin doesn't know nor care of the importance that Jeongguk's origami birds hold. They've been such a staple in his housemate's bedroom for years at this point. Existed well before you—though he did notice the increase in them after you.

"Speak to me," Jimin mumbles, voice muffled by Jeongguk's sheets.

There's no care for formalities. No specification of what Jeongguk should speak about. He already knows.

Still, he says, "About?"

"About Disco Ball, dumbass."

But what's there to say?

"Can't keep bottling shit up, man. It'll destroy your head," Jimin adds. Has seen it happen once before. Cares too much for his friend to let it happen again.

"Not much to say," Jeongguk dismisses, just like Jimin thought he would. It's so typical of him.

"We both know that's not entirely true, don't we?"

"Do we?"

"Gguk."

"Well, what?" Jeongguk sighs. Rubs across his face with the heel of his palm. Keeps his eyes closed as he shakes his head.

"The walls were far thinner than you thought they were, Gguk," is all Jimin says. It's all he needs to say, but also thinks that Jeongguk needs a little push. "Y'know there's this old proverb— Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game."

"That's not a proverb," Jeongguk frowns. "It's a quote from the film B made us watch after the last Notebook screening."

"Shut up," Jimin says, realising that he has just in fact quoted a 'A Cinderella Story ' at Jeongguk. "Doesn't matter. Is still true. The longer you go on with 'just friends' bullshit, the more and more she'll start to believe that's how you really feel, and then you'll lose her."

"I won't"—

"Shut up," Jimin repeats. "You'll lose her, 'cause she'll find someone that's proud to show her off. Will find someone who doesn't hide her. At the moment it's like you're ashamed of her."

It's not like that in the slightest. Jimin doesn't think it comes across like that to anyone, but he needs Jeongguk to wise up. Needs him to do something.

And even though Jimin is unaware of the Seokjin history, and the way in which you were shunned by someone you loved, Jeongguk isn't. Is well too aware that you've been made to feel like that before. Hates the thought of ever doing it to you too. Echoes of 'you sound just like him' makes his hairs stand on end, goosebumps ghosting his skin. He'll be damned if he's ever compared to your scumbag of an ex again.

"What if it's not what she wants?" Jeongguk says quietly.

"But what if it is?"

Jeongguk stays silent for a moment. Glances over to his chessboard, where a dishevelled bird sits. It barely looks like a bird anymore, thanks to his stroppy fists that tossed it across the room a couple of months ago.

Wings crumpled, it's been through the wars.

And yet when Jeongguk shows up at your door unannounced, holding the bird in his palm, he tries to pretend like it's totally normal.

Looks at it, then looks at you.

Says, "It fell."

"Into what?" you laugh, dressed in nothing more than one of his shirts and a pair of tiny shorts that have no business riling him up in the way that they do. "A literal rock-paper-scissors battle?"

"Erm," Jeongguk stutters. "No. I, uh. Fuck."

Showered and changed, he's now wearing a baggy sweater you've seen a few times before. Have always been tempted to steal it, but never got the chance. If it ends up on your bedroom floor tonight, it's fair game. The silver of his chain peeks out from the neckline, his lip ring glistening as he toys with it.

He struggles to find the words—and then just thinks fuck it.

What's the worst that could happen?

Rejection?

"No," he corrects himself. "Fell into my fist. Well, no, onto my back, and then I balled it up in my fists. Couple of months ago, actually. Anyways, I, uh—" he pauses. Is so nervous he's pretty sure he'll be sweating through his sweater. Looks to the floor. Shakes his head. Get a grip, man. "It's one of mine. I want to do it."

"Okay?" You question, raising the pitch of your voice as you gesture for him to come inside. His demeanour is very unlike his usual self, but it kind of reminds you of the Jeongguk you first met. It's cute. Sweet. Timid. "Can I read it?"

Hesitant, Jeongguk passes the bird to you. Kicks off his shoes. Walks away from you. Settles on the sofa. Wants to scream into a pillow, but is trying to look cool about things, even if his blood is burning red hot in his veins.

The way it feels like your heart is in your throat as you go to read the words out loud is a shared experience. Jeongguk's all of a tither, too. Hides it far better. When you glance over at him, you almost can't see his nerves. The soft purple mood lighting helps.

It's his eyes that give him away. So big. So sparky. Full of stars. All for you.

Just like the fear scribbled into his bird is all for you, too.

Admit your feelings.

You look over to him, then back down to the paper. Take a moment.

He says nothing. Nibbles down on his bottom lip. Is beautiful in the breakdown of his bastions. Walls need not be kept up any more. There's no point.

"Okay..." You say slowly. Assumptions would be disastrous right now, you think. "To who?"

Jeongguk swallows back his nerves. Looks you dead in the eye as he confirms the conclusions you're so desperately trying not to jump to.

"You."

It's not enough. You're still second-guessing.

"Admit your feelings to me... about who?"

Jeongguk would laugh if he didn't feel like the world is caving in around him. His head is spinning.

Or maybe it's just him. 

Orbiting. Crashing. Colliding.

"You."

[crayonboxcolors607]

in honor of Part 1 getting 100 likes and like 15 reblogs! (a lot for tiny stupid me lol) i decided to suck it up and write another part bc ppl have asked for it

IF YOU HAVEN'T READ PART ONE, PLEASE DO SO!

After Robin found out, things were a bit better for Steve. The two of them practiced their signs during slow shifts at the Family Video. Robin showed him a new sign every day and helped him improve his lip reading. It benefited his daily life too. Gone were the days when he had to walk all the way across the store to talk to Robin, now the two of them could have conversations from opposite sides of the store, their hands flying fast as they spoke.

Robin was a fucking godsend, bullying Keith into giving Steve more time off in case of migraines and providing excuses when he couldn't drive the kids around. She begged Steve to wear his hearing aids, eventually telling him that if he played his cards right he could cover them up with his hair, which ultimately convinced him. She'd helped him find a new hairstyle that almost eliminated them completely, clapping her hands excitedly as the shock on his face was evident when he turned them on and could differentiate sounds again.

Of course, there were still things that were hard, even with the hearing aids. Steve needed to be directly facing someone in order to have a basic understanding of what they were saying, and there couldn't be anything obstructing their mouth. This proved especially difficult when Steve interacted with the younger Party members, although they continued to chalk it up to Steve's usual airheadedness. For once, he was grateful to be stereotyped as a dumb jock.

One random day in October, however, things began to change.

Dustin had somehow roped Steve into driving him, Mike, and Lucas to some fancy-ass comic store in Indianapolis, claiming that "the one in Hawkins is not nearly comprehensive enough, Steve". He'd rolled his eyes and responded with what they referred to as his "Mom Pose", his hands on his hips and his eyebrow cocked as he stared at them judgementally. Eventually, though, he'd relented, letting them fight over who got shotgun and who had to sit in the back.

Somehow, although he himself didn't quite seem to know how, Lucas managed to snag the front seat. He'd slid in quietly as Dustin and Mike threw themselves into the backseat, yelling obnoxiously about unfairness and favoritism. Steve refrained from pointing out that he'd had no part in the tussle for shotgun, instead allowing it to play out.

He and Lucas had been engaging in conversation about sports when Lucas had quietly mentioned that he was thinking of trying out for the school's basketball team, tentatively asking Steve if they could meet up the next weekend so he could give him some pointers. Steve had agreed without even thinking, but he began to panic once he got home later that afternoon. How was he supposed to go over skills in basketball when he couldn't even hear out of his left ear?

But in typical Steve fashion, he procrastinated until the last minute, eventually deciding that he simply wouldn't wear the hearing aids. He'd be fine for one basketball practice, right?

And so, Steve drove to the basketball courts that Saturday, removing his hearing aids as he arrived, and thus reintroducing a fuzzy ringing in his ears that he hadn't experienced in a long time. It felt alien, but he shook his head around a bit and started to shoot baskets. He'd forgotten how good sports made him feel, and was pleasantly surprised at the adrenaline that began pumping through his veins. In fact, his new lack of hearing made it easier for him to practice, as it allowed him to tune out the rest of the world and focus solely on himself and his own fluid motions.

This did prove to be a slight problem, however, as he didn't hear Lucas dropping his stuff on the bench, nor did he notice him walking up to Steve. So the tapping on his shoulder startled him far more than it should have.

"Jesus Sinclair!" Steve exclaimed. "You scared the shit outta me, man!" Lucas seemed confused at Steve's reaction, and he silently reminded himself that none of the kids knew about his hearing.

"Uhh, sorry Steve," Lucas said slowly. "Are um, are you okay?" The concern on his face melted Steve's heart just a little bit.

"I'm fine buddy," he reassured the young teen. "Was just in my own world a bit, you know, focusing and stuff." His explanation seemed to comfort Lucas enough, and he grinned.

"You ready to get started?" he asked, tossing the younger boy the ball. Lucas caught it with a practiced ease and began dribbling, feinting left and right. Steve dropped down into his defensive position, mirroring Lucas's every movement, tracking his feet to predict which direction he would go next.

He felt himself slipping back into that headspace that he loved so much, the one that drew him into sports in the first place. Because he didn’t need to think about it, the strategies were always in his brain. He just needed to rely on muscle memory, all his former skills coming back to him as he and Lucas scrimmaged.

They played for about thirty minutes before taking a quick break to grab water and snacks, both of them struggling to catch their breath. Lucas opened his Gatorade™ and said something Steve, causing him to look over in surprise as he struggled to figure out what the younger boy was saying.

"Pardon?" he said, pretending he just hadn't been paying attention. Lucas repeated himself, or at least Steve had to assume that he did, because again, he couldn't understand a single word that left the younger boy's mouth.

There was a heavy feeling in his stomach as he debated asking Lucas to repeat himself a third time.

Someone tapped his leg, pulling him out of his own spiraling headspace. Steve looked up, feeling even worse as he registered the fear on Lucas' face.

"Steve," Lucas began slowly, seeming struggling with what to say next. "Can you, uh, can you not hear me?"

Of course, that sentence Steve was able to comprehend.

With a heavy sigh, he shook his head.

"Not really," he replied, looking anywhere but at Lucas. "My hearing started to go after Billy smashed my head with a plate. And it got worse after Starcourt." He looked up then, a grim smile on his face. "Turns out multiple concussions aren't exactly good for a person."

Lucas' eyes widened at the confession. "So, are you deaf?" he asked. Or at least, Steve assumed that's what he said.

"Partially," Steve replied. "I can't hear at all out of my left ear, that's where I got the most damage. My right ear can function, but not normally. I mostly rely on reading lips and context clues."

"Oh my god," Lucas said slowly, the gears visibly turning in his head. "Oh my god! W-we kept teasing you! We kept calling you stupid a-and laughing at you! You couldn't even hear us! And you-" The boy suddenly slumped over and placed his head in his hands. He said something, Steve was sure of it, but it was additionally muffled by him covering his face.

"Uh, Lucas, buddy," Steve said hesitantly. "I can't understand you if I can't see your face." Lucas looked up at him then, tears pooling in his eyes.

"It's my fault," he said. Steve felt his mouth drop open in shock, and began to protest, but Lucas stopped him.

"Billy was coming after me," he insisted, talking clearer so Steve could understand. "He was attacking me! You stepped in and tried to defend me -- now you're deaf and it's all my fault!"

Steve felt his heart drop.

He'd been so scared to tell anyone because he was worried they wouldn't view him the same way as before, that he hadn't even considered how the kids might feel if they knew he was like this because of his attempts to protect them.

"Oh Lucas," Steve said softly, gathering the crying teen into his arms. "It's not your fault. There isn't a world where I wouldn't have done the same. You're my kid. I'm always gonna protect you. That's just how it works." He felt Lucas try to push away, to protest, but he just held him tighter. "You and your little gaggle of idiots are worth everything. I'd go deaf a thousand times if it meant keeping you all safe."

With a sniffle, Lucas detached himself from the older boy.

"Really?" he said, eyes shiny with tears.

"Of course," Steve responded, without missing a beat. He gave the younger boy a final squeeze, before wiping away the few tears that had escaped while he and Lucas were talking. "I'd better get you home anyway. Your mom will have my head on a stick if you miss dinner." He kept his hand on Lucas' back as he wiped his tears and sniffed a final time.

"Okay," he said. "But you're staying for dinner."

HOLY SHIT I FINALLY FINISHED! ONLY TOOK ME 9 MONTHS LOL

okay okay so i did talk about the older members of the party finding out next as well as dustin but i just had to make a liar out of myself bc when i started writing this my brain was just like "but what if we did a wholesome reveal with Lucas instead??" and now here we are and i regret nothing

except the lack of sleep. i regret that a lot.

also, i am not an athlete. i am a depressed and introverted high school theater kid who has never played basketball in my entire life bc i am a measly 5ft 1in (roughly 155cm). so dont come at me if the sportsball lingo is incorrect bc i have no fucking clue what im doing.

also THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING AND ALL THE LIKES AND REBLOGS ON MY LAST POST!!

[bakugoushotwife]

Okay, so here it is: I'm all about worshipping cock, tbh. I can't stop thinking about kissing Keigo though his boxers, sniffing his pretty cock and slapping it on my face. I want him to hold it on my throat as if he's chocking me with it.

But I really, really can't stop thinking about Keigo almost cumming in his pants bc I'm eagerly waiting for him to come home so I can jump on his pants and sniff his sweaty, glistening and pristine balls, like... I dream with him being into me sucking his cock after a hard day of work (I'm actually a clean freak so it's really bc I think he would try to keep it clean although I'm not sure, but the thing is really about the wooden smell of Keigo wearing pants all day). Not only I think he has perfect round and giants balls that I'd use as a pacifier but the thought of that man, a little sweaty taking all of his stress on my mouth, or even throat- gets my toes curling

And again, I've been silenced for too long!!! Wish he would use my head as fleshlight... Sorry! In all positions! Even holding the throat to tighten even more, massaging, humping it SORRY! Not only do I fantasize about things beyond what my body is capable of I fantasize about him being all fucked out, body limp, moving on it's own and eyes rolling after cumming so many times straight on my stomach sORRY on some days I'd ask for him to cum on my face untill it's a bukkakke of a single man SORRY SORRY SORRY

(the last thing is that he probably wouldn't bottom out, no, he'd probably be way too attentive while he uses my mouth to his own pleasure 😔)

a/n: this was the wildest ask i've gotten in a long time...i love it! had me wide eyed and giggling while i was reading sjhjkdfkgj but it got me thinking...also this is a lil snack while i recover from kinktober and work on some projects :)) this is absolute filth but nonnie didn't give me a choice LMAO

when you told keigo about your fantasies, he was a little shocked to say the least. not in a bad way, god, of course not. what kinda guy would he be if he didn't celebrate his shy little clean freak of a girlfriend's profession of obsession with his dick. it's just that, well. you are a clean freak and keigo knows that he smells like sweaty fabric and dirt and sometimes a little blood after he comes home from work. you hardly let his boots hit the tile of the mud room before you're ushering him off to the shower every day. to think that you've been having such naughty dreams of worshiping his cock has him dumbfounded. not to mention that he's always considered himself what one would call a service dom. he's the most turned on by your pleasure and knowing that he's the man behind it, reaching his satisfaction from watching his pillow princess make sweet sounds and pretty faces until you coat his cock, but seeing that sparkle in your eye at the idea made him eager to try it out.

cut to keigo being bewildered at how much he loves it. you strip him down to his underwear after work, for once not crinkling your nose up at the aromatic mix of dirt and his own natural musk--but burying your face in it. today was the perfect day for this too. it was a miserable day at the agency, one of sidekicks got hurt and the cops were especially dickish about it and now he has an ass-ton of paperwork to fill out on the matter. the hpsc's breathing down his neck for more information on the villains and he's all but ready to take a long walk off a short pier, but you kiss your way down his torso, letting your wet tongue drag along the crevices of his abs to taste the sweat that's gathered there over his day. you hum pleasantly at the flavor, and that's when he knows he's in for it. that alone felt so good, you were showing him that you'd do anything for him, and it made his heart and his dick swell with affection. he certainly wasn't used to being the receiver, usually taking his time in working you up and then spending even longer making you cum on his fingers and in his mouth until your body could only handle one more orgasm on his cock. but this, it was different. it was nice, your ass perched up in the air as you sit on your knees between his legs, face pressed against the bulge of his underwear. you're so seductive, eyes of a siren, really. you blink up at him so sweetly, watching his pupils expand at the sight of you nuzzling the growing shaft of his cock, smelling his natural aroma with a hint of the soap he used this morning when he left. your dainty hand fondles his balls, cupping and massaging them in ways he hasn't experienced before, making his breath catch in his throat and his dick twitch like he was going to cum already.

"i know today was hard...let me make it all go away." you hum, tucking your fingers under the waistband of his briefs, tugging them down his muscular thighs at the same time you pull your lip between your teeth. he nods approvingly, cock springing past the elastic to greet you, pretty pink tip glossing over with his excitement from your treatment. you hum happily at the sight, looking up at him in reminder of your conversation a few days prior. "wan' you to be as rough as you want, keigs." you nod, giving him permission all over again.

so he does what you wanted, what you practically pleaded for if we're honest. he lets you work your way around him, gripping his thick cock in your small hand in favor of lapping at his balls, tight and full of pent up frustration that he can't wait to release. he definitely keeps everything well trimmed for you, even though he never imagined you sucking on his balls so deliciously you're both drooling. he's growing impatient with your teasing though. your little kitten licks to his tip and the tight squeezes of your palm around his base; the way you flutter your lashes and grin up at him like you're daring him to take over finally does it and he's moving you both into a better position. one that will give him control and access to your throat for optimal relief of this stress and this now carnal desire to ruin you. he get to his knees, lifting you into a proper all fours stance by your throat, not nearly as gentle as he usually is, but you wanted that, didn't you? he shoves his way into your mouth, not caring about what you're ready for or not. you told him no limits, so he won't let you chicken out now. luckily, you're relaxed enough to let him slide right in, changing his grip to the sides of your face as he sets a wicked combination of moving your face and his hips. spit is flying, tears sliding out of your eyes at his brutality, and he couldn't love this more. he can see your eyes roll back, the need to cum already washing over him.

and sure, the first time he paints your slutty face with it, because no, you aren't his pillow princess right now. you're his cock hungry whore, and you begged to be. but every time after that, because yes, this feeling was too good to only feel once; he's shoving his mushroom tip past your uvula and spending it all down your throat until you tap out. it's automatic for him at some point. you've made yourself his stress toy, letting him forget the trouble that waits for him tomorrow in favor of watching his cum dribble past your lips as you sleepily swallow him for the fourth or fifth time tonight.

[toxicanonymity]

Newest instalment of Stepdad Joel was chefs kiss. But everyone already knew that! I’m in love with how he just can’t help himself. My man is insatiable. Toxic, would you be so kind as to bless us plebs with a lil Stepdad Joel behind the scenes lore? I have personally always wondered what the first time dear reader and he met was like? First impressions maybe?

Much love 🫶💗🐝

Thank you so much! 💗🫶💗 You are apparently the toxic lore whisperer. When you ask for lore, I crack my fingers. . .

700 words?? CW provocative album art. TW mommy issues but not much detail

stepdad master

-----

LORE: first meeting stepdad!Joel

His first impressions: Moody but harmless teenager.

Yours: Old but harmless nerd, trying too hard.

The first time you met, your mom was acting like they weren't dating, he was just, her friend Joel. You were late to lunch and she criticized your parking job.

"Are you gonna introduce me to all your 'friends' now?" You asked with air quotes right in front of Joel outside the cafe. 

Your mom apologized for you. Joel smiled and looked down at the ground and when his eyes found your vintage sneakers he said, "hey, fresh kicks." You cringed at him trying to sound cool but it was also disarming how lame he was making himself.  He was old (ish, but not as old as your mom), he was a nerd, he was a fool for liking your mom so much, and he did genuinely like her. Even before getting to know him, you felt a little bad for him because it would only be a matter of time until she couldn't keep up her fake niceness. 

Gradually you got to be buddies with him. One of the first times you spent time with him was at a food truck thing the three of you went to, and your Mom went off to "say hi" to a neighbor for thirty minutes. The two of you were sitting at the picnic table making small talk.  Joel was wearing an MCR shirt. He was surprised you knew who they were.  He liked a variety of cool bands, liked cool movies. He felt bad when your mom was hard on you and he stuck up for you. You kind of stuck up for each other. You almost tried to vaguely warn him when they started talking about marriage which seemed really fast, like within six months. 

-----

One day, after they were married, you and your mom had a huge blow-up and Joel came to your room bc at her request, he told her he'd try to talk to you for her. But he didn't. He just sat on the floor and looked around trying not to bother you. You kept your earbuds in and ignored him. 

He found your Rolling Stones Sticky Fingers vinyl and picked it up. He turned it over to read. He said "nice, where's your record player?"  You didn't have one at that point. That was your dad's, and you used to use his player. You hung onto that album but not for the music.

You finally took out your earbuds, feeling bad for him talking to himself.

Joel said, "my favorite Stones album is Some Girls."

"That's such a cliche," you grumbled without really looking at him, but the fact that you even said anything was a compliment. 

He asked, "Yeah, what's yours?"

You paused, then sheepishly admitted, "Some girls," and you both laughed.

------

You didn't live with them for long before you left for college, which was shortly after you caught him jacking off in the office that time, which neither of you ever acknowledged.

In college you started partying and dressing provocatively.  He followed you on Instagram your junior or senior year. At one point he accidentally liked then unliked a pic that was mostly cleavage. It made your heart skip a beat, and not in a creeped out way. But you didn't think much of it at the time, you had too much else going on in the boy world already.

You never lived at home again after leaving for college, but when you occasionally came home to visit, there started to be a different tension. It was like he was trying not to look at you. It wasn't that creepy -- You were both human and he wasn't "stepdad" long enough to ever feel like a father figure.  But there was tension, and occasionally you bickered over dumb stuff.

----

After graduation, you got a job and moved across town. Over time, there were a couple of guys you dated long enough to introduce them to Joel at family events.  He was polite but quiet with the first one.  The last one, you seemed to really like, and Joel was kind of cold with him. After you and that guy broke up, you started getting the urge to see Joel more often, which ultimately led to the time you went by when your Mom wasn't home and knowingly caught him jacking off.

Joel never would have made a move on you, so thank god for your advances. Even after following your instagram, he tried (and failed) not to look at you.