#saying ‘yeah she was singing into a hairbrush meanwhile there they are’

[vilepie]

my manager broke her car’s driver door handle completely off which is an entire story in itself but i have taken the liberty of carrying it around with me everywhere (grocery store, mall, family’s house thus far) and let me say in the past twelve hours or so it has become my main character trait

[yamithediaperdork]

Vamps in Pamps

it was a nice sunny day as Edward drove the jeep out to his 'father's house, though while the weather was nice and Bella seemed happy, Edward was less so due to the other person sitting the backseat of the jeep, who whenever he made eye contract, grinned like a Cheshire cat despite being a werewolf.

"So Edward, hurt stories about your daddy." Jacob said, making Edward despite being a vampire blush.

"I'm sure you have mutt. just mind your touage. he's stronger then me and doesn't handle fools as well." Edward snipped back.

While Edward could get along with and hang out with Jacob, He still didn't like the wolf but put up a farce for Bella's sake who insisted that they get along.

"Will any of the others be there today?" Jacob asked.

"No, mommy took them out for a little trip." Edward said, almost right away wishing he had called her by her name but the damage was done and now Bella and Jacob were chuckling and smirking.

"Mommy huh?" Jacob asked, Grinning ear to ear.

"Heh.. Jacob.. be nice.He is the first son~" Bella said and winked, though reached over and squeezed Edwards hand on the gear shift.

"Such a big boy~" Jacob said and winked into the rear view mirror.

'this is going to be a LONG visit.' Edward thought as he pulled into the driveway.

Carlilse was waiting in the driveway for them as they pulled up and as the they all got out of the car Carlilse was suddenly there, grabbing Edwards cheeks and tsking.

"have you been fully eating or are you just snacking, again?" Edward's 'father' asked, voicing his disapproval.

"Uh.. What do you mean by snacks?" Bella asked, a vampire herself now. "I thought we had to have a-"

"We Edward sadly Bella, is famous for trying to replace a good full on meal with just snacking on rat or chipmunk or squirrel blood." Carlilse said, then smirked. "though he cut back on the chipmunk blood when he grew to be a fan o-"

"DAD!"

"the chipmunks in the 80's."

"Wait, what?" Jacob asked.

"Oh my god shut up!" Edward growled.

"Simon was his favorite, I preferred Alvin, though only because he wanted to watch it all the time with me." Carlilse said.

Edward huffed and whined and stormed off into the house, as Carlilse stayed with Jacob and Bella.

"you'll have to forgive him. he's sensitive on his little guy side." The proud daddy said.

"heh, I see. soo..you watched the show with him..did he ever sing along?" Jacob asked, and got a playful elbow to his gut from Bella.

"...You didn't hear it from me, but yes."

In the house Edward was huffing, he should of known this was a mistake considering recent events but Bella had been begging to come up for awhile and Jacob too. Still the teenaged vampire was huffing lots as they came in.

Jacob was whistling the chipmunks theme and Bella was chuckling which didn't help Edwards attuide at the least bit.

"Look here scooby doo. unless you wanna throw down knock it off!" Edward growled.

"Heh, how did you know I loved that show? scooby dooodoo!" Jacob mimicked and then winked.

"...your a scrappy doo at best." Edward growled and went to storm off.

"So you DID watch that one too~ how many cartoons does widdle Edward li-" Jacob started but Carlilse's fingers were on his lips.

"Edward, don't storm off. I thought they knew and you know how cute I thought you were." Carlilse said and letting go of Jacob, was by Edward and hugging him.

Edward huffed and squirmed, but gave in even as Bella and Jacob smirked.

"You'll have to teach me how to calm him down that quick, he gets so huffy sometimes." Bella teased.

"Oh? It's not that hard,m you just have to give him the right hugs, I got LOTS of practice with it calming him down when he'd get such bad di-" Carlilse started but Edward was slapping a hand over his fathers mouth.

"Shut uppppppp!" Edward hissed.

"Ok I'm sorry, where you about to say diaper?" Jacob asked, looking tickled pink.

Bella meanwhile was wrinkling her nose as the mental image of Edward in a massive cloth diaper with a huge safety pin though it flashed into her mind.

"No he wasn't! shut your damn mutt mouth and go wait in the car wh-" Edward started but then Esme was there, smiling brightly and holding a photo album.

"Oh, Are we talking about Edward's baby phase? That was sooo cute!" the proud father gushed.

"No we're n-" Edward started but now it was Jacob who cut him off.

"Yes. yes we were. Do you have pictures?" Jacob asked.

the only reason he wasn't being shushed or attacked was Carlilse could tell Edward was going to do something he'd regret and was holding the squirming teen vamp tight now.

"Edward settle down or you can go on time out young man!"

"Ok, somebody explain." Bella said as her mother in law ushered them all over to the couch to sit down.

"Well Edward was our first vampire, and he had a hard time adjusting to vampire life so we decided to give him some time to adjust with some age regression treatment. he fought us at first but soon he was running around happy in his nappies." She coo'ed opening the book up and showing off picture after picture of Edward in terry cloth diapers and plastic pants and tops, the first dozen or so had him growling and snarling, thick mittens on his hands to keep him from removing his diapers but then the fight went out of Edward and soon he was smiling brightly and doing poses.

"The hardest part was getting him to stop wearing after awhile, and we honestly humored him longer then we should of but hearing him cry for his nappies was heart breaking, plus he'd just go ahead and soil himself anyways." Esme giggled and d'aww, coming across a picture of Edward in a tug of war with Carlilse over a diaper.

"That was when we were trying to give the diaper treatment to his little brother, but Edward kept stealing the diapers. in the end we had to threaten him with a dress if he wanted his diapers so bad." Carlilse said.

"D-Did he take the deal?" Bella asked, eye wide in disbelief.

"NO I DIDN'T!!" Edward shouted and Carlilse responded with swift swat to his bottom.

"Young Man, I raised you better then to lie to your wife like that!" he scolded even as Edward whined and whimpered. "What happens to little fibbers in this house?"

"D-Daddy no!" Edward whined and whimpered, but it was for not as he was lead away by the ear, his buns having a date with a hairbrush and his mouth having one with a bar of soap.

As he left the room he heard Bella gasp of disbelief and Jacob's howls of laughter, and just before he was out of hearing range, Jacob called out.

"Pink is DEFIANTLY your color fang boy!"

"Dad..dad come on, you don't have to do this! You should be getting mom to stop! can't you see Bella is getting freaked out?" Edward whined as Carlilse got him into the bathroom and and pointed at a corner where a small red circle was with one hand as he turned on the water and started to get a bar of soap all foamy.

I'm more shocked you never told her about this side of you Edward, Honesty about kinks are important for a healthy marriage." Carlilse lectured and then brought the soap over.

"L-Look I tried but I found out she's super freaked out about little's ok..I figured if I didn't say anything it would be all good..I never expected you and mom to go all dotting parents!"

"See now thats where you were being super silly. If I didn't love you and wanna let you be a little guy from time to time would I of kept all your old baby stuff in the basement?" Carlilse asked then motioned for Edward to open his which the sulking vampire did.

"Honestly with all of you kids moving out me and your mother have been getting a little lonely.. So I was gonna offer to babysit you some time. " Carlilse added as he popped the soap into the sulking vamp's mouth, then tugged down the back of Edwards pants and passed for a send, chuckling softly.

"Mmmfh!?" Edward whined around the soap, bubbles forming and trailing down his chin.

"I see you're still a lousy wiper." Carlilse teased then yanked the crap stained tightie whites up and took the hair brush to Edward's poor buns.

"So.. Edward's stopped doing all of this baby stuff now though right?" Bella asked, feeling like she was in a nightmare.

the love of her life was just a big fucking baby, she was suddenly putting it all together in her head as she had flashbacks of him getting too into being teased with baby talk from her, all the cuddling.. and just how many of his 'accidents' he'd been having lately were actual accidents?!

"He mostly stopped after you and him started to date dear. Though he's come back for some treatment. Usually when you're being a little bit of a whore and getting fucked by the mutt." Esme said all matter of factually, making Bella and Jacob jaw drop.

"I'm not stupid and have almost caught you a few time...But I'm sure Edward doesn't know." she went as if she hadn't just dropped that bombshell.

"I uh.. I just.. see.. He just. I.." Bella stammered.

"Well put. you know, for someone who's getting all high and mighty about Edward being just a big baby and not telling you, Fucking around with a were wolf isn't model behavior. While Carlilse is giving Edward a spanking and a mouth washing I think you and I need to have a talk about what I expect from you and doggie here unless you wanna see what a centuries old vampire is capable of when you hurt her little man."

Bella gulped and looked to Jacob for help, while he found something rather interesting on the floor.

Bun's red and mouth tasting like soap, a tear stained cheeks Edward made his way into the living room, in just his undies and rubbing his butt as he kept glancing over his shoulder to give his dad a sour look.

"Edward has something he'd like to say to everyone, don't you Edward? Carlilse said and gave his son a thumbs up.

"A-Actually Uh..Yeah, I have something to say first." Bella said, getting up and trying not to notice that despite the bratty toddler attuide Edward was giving off, the vamp was tenting his undies.

"Edward I can't be with someone who'd rather crap himself in diapers and suck on his toes then have some beers and make love to me. I'm leaving you for Jacob, and you can just stay here and baby out." She said, then practically ran out the door, Jacob looking at Edward with a half smile.

"Look at it this way little guy, you get diapers and I get the girl. we both win." Jacob said then took off after Bella.

Edward could only stare on in shock as Bella apparently was SO eager to get out there she had started the jeep and Jacob was forced to jump in the back seat.

"W-wait..what!?" He asked, not knowing of course he'd been sent up to go back to babyhood.

that Bella's hasty retreat was because Esme had made it clear once her and Edward were broken up the skank would have 5 minutes to get off her property.

Sure, setting up Edward to be dumped like this was a little mean, but as the big baby started to brawl and cry and load the back of his undies, Mommy and daddy just smiled and gave him lots of hugs.

The end

[memoirs-of-a-geek]

The floor of their dormitory shook that Saturday afternoon with the sounds of The Go-Go's blasting from their record player.  Moira Blake was quick to grab her brush and start prancing around pretending to be some sort of long-lost member of the band. See the kids just gettin' out of school. They can't wait to hang out and be cool. Hang around 'til quarter after twelve. That's when they fall in line.  "They got the beat. They got the beat, kids got the beat. Yeah, kids got the beat!" For a moment, all Isolde could see were crimson tresses bouncing around. Meanwhile, she was sitting on her own bed looking through the piles of magazines they picked up in Hogsmeade that morning. It wasn't long until her own head bopped in tune with the music. Her eyes looked over the main article at the new issue of Witch Weekly and raised it up enough for her room-mate to see.  "Look, 20 new ways tuh get him or her to notice you." Of course that's not what it really said. She ducked in time for the hairbrush to just miss her as it hit her headboard instead. "No but really, look who's on the cover." It was one of their favorite quidditch players. Iz loved the sport while Moira loved to watch the players of the sport.  "Oh, yum." Moira continued her prance towards the bed, grabbed her brush and sat beside the other girl, popping her gum and brushing the brunette's hair.  "I could eat him up."  "Okay big bad wolf," Isolde teased as she shifted slightly for her friend to bursh her hair more easily.  "What, you can't tell me you wouldn't."  "I'm swearing off guys for now."  Moira brought the brush back towards her lips and tried to sing back what she was saying,"Does that mean you're on my team now?"  "I'm not kissing yeh again...sober." She finished, a subtle smile forming on her otherwise serious expression. The song changed and Moira got back up to continue her concert.  "Walk like an Egyptian..."

[tea-and-cardigans]

This is another fill for the mini fic AU prompts that was requested a ridiculously long time ago by a Nonnie. (I accidentally deleted the inbox message by accident when posting)

Continuing to work my way through them as inspiration strikes. 😊

21. Best friends sibling AU

Read on AO3

“Oh my gosh! Jughead get out!”  JB screamed at her older brother as he stood at the door chuckling at his sisters reaction to him finding her and Betty in full sleep over mode. High ponytails, facial masks and pyjamas.

  There was about 15 months between them which meant most of the time they  got along fine. But he did love to tease her just a little bit. Betty hid her face behind a pillow while JB stalked to the door and slammed it in his face while his laughing could still be heard through the door. Betty meanwhile did her best to hide behind a pillow. They had been jumping on the bed singing into their hairbrushes masquerading as microphones when his laugh from the doorway had broken their little bubble. 

  “Argh, older brothers are the worst!” JB exclaimed as she flopped backwards on the bed. “Wish I had an older sister like you.”

  “Please having an older sister is not that great. All mum ever says is ‘why can't you be more like Polly’, ‘Look at how well Polly is doing’” Betty emanated her mother perfectly even with her face covered in the pink clay substance, which had JB in a fit of giggles.

  “Okay," she struggled to regain her breath as Betty continued to waggle her finger in the way her mum was so fond of doing.

"Okay, stop. Maybe it isn't that bad.” Betty shot her a look before grabbing a handful of popcorn, she didn't have the watchful eye of her mum here to tell her to stop, to watch her figure. At JB’s she could be free.

  And, well, Jughead was there.

  Betty had had a crush on her best friend’s older brother since she knew what crushes were. While the other girls in her class were writing Archie's name on the front of their notebooks surrounded by love hearts, Betty only had eyes for his beanie wearing best friend. She had found herself wondering what his hair looked like under that beanie. Every time she visited JB she hoped she would catch a peak. Have something new to fuel her fantasies and day dreams.

  JB lifted up the bowl that had started full of popcorn and now only contained a few un-popped kernels. “Looks like we are out.”

  “I’ll go pop some more.” Betty said jumping up, not that she had any reason to be in such a hurry to be in the common areas of the house. That she might 'bump' into someone. Or catch a glimpse. 

  “You might want to go wash that, off first though.” JB said indicating to the clay mask which Betty could feel tight on her skin.

  “Oh yeah.” Betty agreed as she grabbed the bowl before heading towards the bedroom door. “Thanks.”

  After washing off the mask she made her way to the kitchen and put another packet of popcorn in the microwave. As she waited for the popcorn to finish she jumped up on the kitchen bench swinging her legs. Her mum would never had let her sit on the counter.

  “Refilling on snacks?” Jughead poked his head around the corner of the entryway to the kitchen making Betty jump at the sound of his voice.

  “Juggie.” She pressed her hand to her chest in an attempt to calm herself from the sudden shock. “You scared me.”

  “Sorry Betts.” He moved closer to her, as he leaned up against the counter that she was up against.

  Betty tried not to let his closeness affect her the way it did. She had told herself on many occasions that she shouldn’t be feeling this way about her best friend’s brother. That it was a betrayal of sorts. But she couldn’t help the way her cheeks flushed and her pulse sped up as he moved closer. The brush of his hand against hers made her body tense and her eyes to flash up at him, whether it was a deliberate touch against her skin. Whether it could all just be in her imagination.

  “The popcorns ready.” The sound of his voice brought her back to the room and the beeps that the microwave was emitting. She pulled the packet from the microwave and quickly tipped them into the bowl. She gave him a quick smile, as she moved past him back to the relative safety of JB’s room.

  “Wait a second, Betts.” Betty stopped in her tracks. She turned to see that Jughead was now standing in front of her not even a foot away. Her heart was thudding in her chest as he reached towards her and Betty forgot how to breathe. His hand dug into the bowl, pulling out a handful of the freshly popped corn and shoveling some into his mouth. He gave her a wink and a mumbled a ‘Thanks’ before he brushed past her leaving her alone in the kitchen.

  Betty stood stunned before she shook her head at her foolishness before she started to move again trying to forget about her school girl crush a few rooms away, who may just have been thinking the same things as her.