#say what you will about 1-4 and 3-5 but 2-4 filled me with a level of pure dispair and hopelessness that no aa game has topped since

[redgoldsparks]

I wrote a 12 page epilogue to my 2019 comic "Harry Potter and The Problematic Author" because I found, in 2023, that I had more to say. You can also find this comic on my website, and I have PDF copies available on etsy. I may sell print copies at some point in the future.

instagram / patreon / portfolio / etsy / my book / redbubble

Full transcript below the cut.

PAGE 1

Part one: Ruddy Owls!

I was in fourth grade when the first Harry Potter Book was released in the US.

Panel 1: Sometimes our teacher would read it aloud in class. “Mr and Mrs Dursley of number 4 Privat Drive were proud to say they were perfectly normal, thank you very much…”

Panel 2: I was 11 years old when Harry Potter finally broke through my dyslexia and turned me into a reader.

Panel 3: Every night in the summer before sixth grade I waited for the owl carrying my Hogwarts Letter. I cried when it didn’t come. “I have to go to Muggle school!”

PAGE 2

Part Two: Hats

I dedicated myself to being a fan.

Panel 1: I began collecting Harry Potter News article.

Panel 2: I asked my relatives to mail me ones from their local papers. I filled a thick binder with clippings.

Panel 3: I wrote my own trivia quiz

Panel 4: and participated in the one held annually at the county fair. “Next contestant!”

Panel 5: I usually got into one of. the top five spots. I won boxes of candy, posters, stationary, and once a baseball cap. (Hat reads: I survived the battle of Hogwarts).

Panel 6: In high school I sewed a black velvet cape and knitted many stripped scarves.

PAGE 3

Part Three: Double Trouble

Watching the last film in 2011 felt like the final note of my childhood. 

Panel 1: I remember driving home from the midnight showing thinking about the end of 13 years of waiting; wondering what would define the next chapter of my life. 

Panel 2: That same month I heard of something called Pottermore. “Okay, so there’s a sorting quiz… I already know my house! Patronus assignment? Mine’s a barn owl. Duh!" 

Panel 3: You can read the books again but with GIFs? Why? 

Panel 4: I lived in a place with very slow and limited internet at the time. Pottermore sounded inaccessible, but also boring. I never joined. 

Panel 5: "I’ll just read the actual books again, thanks." 

PAGE 4

Part Four: Sweets

In 2016, a series of short stories titled "History of Magic in North America” were released on Pottermore to pave the way for the first Fantastic Beasts Film. These stories display an extreme ignorance of American history, culture, and geography, but the worst parts are the casual misuse of indigenous beliefs and stories. Fans and critics immediately spoke up against this appropriation. Some of the most quoted voices included Nambe Pueblo scholar Dr. Debbie Reese who runs the site “American Indians In Children’s Literature”; Navajo writer Brian Young; Johnnie Jae (Otoe-Missouria and Choctaw), founder of A Tribe Called Geek; Dr Adrienne Keene (Cherokee Nation), a Professor at Brown University who runs the blog “Native Appropriations”, and writers N.K. Jemison and Paula Young Lee.

PAGE 5

Rowling is famous for responding to fans directly on twitter, yet she did not respond to anyone calling out the damaging aspects of “Magic in North America.” Her representatives refused to comment for March 9 2016 article in the Guardian. She has never apologized. All of this, plus the casting of Johnny Depp and the specific declarations of support by JKR, Warner Brothers, and director David Yates left a sour taste in my mouth.

For further thoughts on the new films read The Crimes of Grindelwald is a Mess by Alanna Bennett for Buzzfeed News, November 16, 2018.

PAGE 6

Excerpt from Colonialism in Wizarding American: JK Rowling’s History of Magic in North America Through an Indigenous Lens by Allison Mills, MFA, MAS/MLIS (Cree and Settler French Canadian)

Although Rowling is certainly not the first white author to misstep in her treatment of Indigenous cultures, she has an unprecedented level of visibility and fame, […] One of the most glaring problems with Rowling’s story is her treatment of the many Indigenous nations in North America as one monolithic group. […It] flattens out the diversity of languages, belief systems, and cultures that exist in Indigenous communities, allowing stereotyping to persist. […] It continues a long history of colonial texts which ignore that Indigenous peoples still exist. […] In the Wizarding world, as in the real world, Indigenous histories have been over-written and our cultures erased.

from The Looking Glass: New Perspectives in Children’s Literature Volumn 19, Issue 1

PAGE 7

Part 5: Music

Panel 1: Also in 2016 I discovered two podcasts which radically altered my experience of being an HP fan. The first was Witch Please created by two Canadian feminist literary scholars Hannah McGregor and Marcelle Kosman.

Panel 2: “If it’s not in the text it doesn’t count!” “Close reading ONLY!”

Panel 3: They talk about Harry Potter at the level you’d expect in a college class with particular focus on gender, race, class, and the troubling fatphobia, fear of othered and queer coded bodies, violence against women, white feminism, gaslighting and failed pedagogy in the books. They bring up these issues not because they hate the series, but because they LOVE it.

PAGE 8

These passionate, joyful conversations went off like fireworks in my mind. I had never taken a feminist class before. I gained a whole new vocabulary to talk about the books- and the world.

PAGE 9

Panel 1: The second podcast I started that year was Harry Potter and the Sacred Text, created by two graduates of the Harvard Divinity School, Vanessa Zoltan and Casper Ter Kuile.

Panel 2: They read one chapter per episode through a theme such as love, control, curiosity, shame, responsibility, hospitality, destruction, or mystery. Like Witch Please, they are interested only in the information on the page, not thoughts from the author. The delights and failures of the text are examined in the context of the present day, and new meanings constantly arise.

PAGE 10

What does it mean to treat a text as sacred?

Trusting that the more time we give to it, the more blessings it has to give us.

Reading the text repeatedly with concentrated attention. Our effort is part of what makes it sacred. The text is not in and of itself sacred, but is made so by rigorously engaging in the ritual of reading.

Experiencing it in community.

“To me, the goal of treating the text as sacred is that we learn to treat each other as sacred.” -Vanessa Zoltan

PAGE 11

Part 6: Tooth and Claw

In October 2017, Rowling liked a tweet linking to an article arguing that trans women should be kept out of women’s bathrooms because of cisgender women’s fears. In March 2018, she liked a tweet about the problem of misogyny in the UK Labour Party which included the line “Men in dresses get brosocialist solidarity I never had.” The author of the tweet had previously posted many blatantly anti-trans statements.

Rowlings publicist claimed she had liked the posted by accident in a “clumsy and middle-aged moment.” Yet, in September 2018 she liked a link posted by Janice Turner to her column in the Times UK titled “Trans Rapists Are A Danger In Women’s Jails.”

Screencaps of these tweets can be found in the article “The Mysterious Case of JK Rowling and her Transphobic Twitter History”, January 10 2019 by Gwendolyn Smith (a trans journalist), LGBTQNation.com

PAGE 12

Excerpt from: Is JK Rowling Transphobic? A Trans Woman Investigates by Katelyn Burns

Ultimately, the answer is yes, she is transphobic […] I think it’s fair that she receives criticism from trans people, especially given her advocacy on behalf of queer people in general, but also because she has a huge platform. Many people look up to her for creating a singular piece of popular culture that holds deep meaning for fans from different walks of life, and she has a responsibility to handle that platform wisely. (Published on them.us March 28, 2018)

PAGE 13

Part 7: Home

At age 30, I’m still not over Harry Potter.

Panel 1: I’ve recently found a local bar that does HP trivia nights. “Poppy or Pomona?” “Poppy!”

Panel 2: I currently own an annual pass to Universal Studios so I can visit Hogsmeade.

Panel 3: I love talking to kids who are reading the books for the first time. “Who’s your favorite character?” “Ginny!”

Panel 4: And I’m planning a relisten to the audio books to next year to help me get through the election cycle. “Jim Dale, I’m going to need you more than ever…”

Spoiler from 2023: I did not do this. By mid-2020 JKR had posted her transphobic essay; we were in covid; I never visited Universal Studios again.

PAGE 14

But I do want to learn from her mistakes. I never want to repeat “Magic in North America.” As I write, I will do my research. I will consult experts and compensate them. If a reader from a different culture/background than me speaks up about my work, I will listen and apologize. I KNOW I WILL MAKE MISTAKES. But I will own up to them and I will do better.

PAGE 15

Excerpt from Diversity Is Not Enough: Race, Power and Publishing by Daniel José Older

We can love a thing and still critique it. In fact, that’s the only way to really love a thing. Let’s be critical lovers and loving critics and open ourselves to the truth about where we are and where we’ve been. Instead of holding tight to the same old, failed patriarchies, let’s walk a new road, speak new languages. Today, let’s imagine a literature, a literary world, that carries this struggle for equity in its very essence, so that tomorrow it can cease to be necessary, and disappear. (Buzzfeed, April 14, 2017) 

PAGE 16

Harry Potter is flawed, & JK Rowling is problematic. But the books helped me learn a lot: 

*One of the greatest dangers facing the modern world is the rise of fascism 

*The government cannot be trusted 

*Read and think critically

*Question the news: who paid the journalist? Who owns the paper? 

*Trust and support your friends through good times and bad

*Organize for resistance

*Educate and share resources with peers

*The revolution must be diverse and intersectional

* We are only as strong as we are united

*The weapon we have is love 

MK 2019

PAGE 17

PART 8: EPILOGUE

In 2021 I removed a Harry Potter patch I sewed to my book bag over a decade ago. I took 15 pieces of Harry Potter fanart off my walls. I got rid of my paperback book set, 2 board games, and 8 t-shirt. [images: a Hogwarts a patch with loose threads, a pair of scissors and a seam ripper]

Panel 1: Maia holding up a shirt with the Deathly Hallows logo on it. Maia thinks: “Damn, this really used to be my entire personality.”

Panel 2: The t-shirt gets thrown into the Goodwill box.

PAGE 18

I wrote my zine wrestling with JKR’s legacy in 2019, after her dismissive and racist reaction to indigenous fans and critics of “Magic in North America” and after she had liked a couple transphobic tweets. Since then, she has gotten so much worse.

A Brief Timeline (mostly from this Vox article)

June 2020- JKR posts a 3600 word essay making her anti-trans position clear

August 2020- The Robert F Kennedy Human Rights Org issues a statement about her transphobia, JKR doubles down on her position and returns an award they gave her

December 2020- JKR claims 90% of HP fans secretly agree with her anti-trans views

December 2021- JKR mocks Scottish Police for recognizing transgender identities

March 2022- JKR criticizes gender-inclusive language and legislation

December 2022- JKR retweets trans youtuber Jessie Earl’s critical review of Hogwarts Legacy, starting an onslaught of transphobic harassment towards Earl

December 2022- JKR removes her support from an Edinburgh center for survivors of sexual violence with a trans-inclusive policy and funds her own center which explicitly excludes trans sexual assault survivors

January 2023- JKR tweets “Deeply amused by those telling me I’ve lost their admiration due to disrespect I show violent, duplicitous rapists.” It got nearly 300K likes

March 2023- One the podcast “The Witch Trials of JK Rowling”, hosted by a former Westboro Baptist Church Member, JKR compares the trans rights movement to Death Eaters.

PAGE 19

What are The Witch Trials of JK Rowling?

Panel 1: Maia speaking. “It’s a 7 episode documentary style podcast hosted by Megan Phelps-Roper. Nearly every episode contains interviews with JKR as well as critics, journalists, historians, protestors and fans.

Panel 2: Maia speaking. “In episode 1, JKR speaks more candidly than she has previously about being in an abusive marriage. Her ex-husband hit her, stalked her, broke into her house overlapping with the time she was writing the first three HP books.”

Panel 3: Maia speaking. “What she went through genuinely sounds horrific. I have a lot of sympathy for the kind of life-long traumas those experiences leave.”

PAGE 20

HOWEVER.

It is clear from reading the June 2020 essay on her blog and listening to the podcast, that JKR still to this day feels unsafe. Despite her wealth and privilege she moves through the world with the mindset of a victim. And the group of people she finds most threatening are trans women.

Or rather, she is afraid that allowing trans women in women’s spaces invites the possibility of male predators entering those spaces.

Here’s a direct quote: The problem is male violence. All a predator wants is access and to open the doors of changing rooms, rape centers, domestic violence centers [...] to any male who says “I’m a woman and I have a right to be here” will constitute a risk to women and girls. - from The Witch Trials episode 4 as transcribed by therowlinglibrary.com, March 2023

Image: A stem of Belladonna with flowers and berries.

PAGE 21

Let me introduce here the term: TRANSMISOGYNY. The intersection of transphobia and misogyny, this term was coined by Julia Serano in 2007. Scout Tran, on tiktok as Queersneverdie said: “Transmisogyny occurs in people who have been previously hurt by traditional misogyny. Who have been driven to hate men or at the very least to be scared of men. They will sometimes take out that rage on trans women. (March 2023)

JKR claims to care for trans women and understand they are extremely vulnerable to assault and violence. In her 2020 Essay she wrote: “I want trans women to be safe. At the same time, I do not want to make natal girls and women less safe.”

So she cares about trans women… just less than cis women, and she’s willing to throw all trans women under the bus because of her unfounded, prejudice fears.

PAGE 22

Panel 1: Maia speaking. “JKR claims to have seen data that proves trans women have presented physical threats to other women in intimate spaces, but never cites sources. She also uses “producer of the large gametes” as a definition of “woman”.

What about transmen and nonbinary folks?

Panel 2: Maia leaning on a stack of all seven HP books, the first four Cormorant Strike books and The Casual Vacancy, gesturing to a series of quotes with a tired and disgusted expression.

I’m concerned about the huge explosion of young women wishing to transition and also about the increasing numbers who seem to be detransitioning. * [...] If I’d been born 30 years later, I too might have tried to transition. The allure of escaping womanhood would have been huge. -June 10 2020 essay

I don’t believe a 14 year old can truly understand what the loss of their fertility is.

-Witch Trials episode 4

I haven’t yet found a study that hasn’t found that the majority of young people experiencing gender dysphoria grow out of it*. -Witch Trials episode 7

*No sources cited

PAGE 23

It’s hard to over emphasize how fixated JKR has become on these topics. As of the date I’m writing this, 14 out of her 20 most recent tweets (70%) are in some way anti-trans. She tweets against Mermaids (a UK based trans youth charity), against trans athletes, against gender neutral bathrooms, and in support of LBG Alliance- a UK org that denies trans rights while upholding gay rights. Here are some gems from her archive:

“People who menstruate.” I’m sure there used to be a word for those people. Someone help me out. Wumben? Wimpund? Woomud? -June 2020

War is Peace. Freedom is Slavery. Ignorance is Strength. The Penised Individual Who Raped You Is a Woman. - December 2021

And in response to someone asking “How do you sleep at night knowing you lost a whole audience?”

I read my most recent royalty cheques and find the pain goes away pretty quickly. -October 2022

PAGE 24

Hashtag Ruthless Productions a queer nerd podcast company created a great guide on ethical engagement with HP. Image: the two hosts of Hashtag Ruthless productions, Jessie (They/she) and Lark (he/him).

Stop buying all official HP Products: books, movies, games, toys, etc, Universal Studios tickets, food, merch.* Boycott any new TV series or movies. Instead: buy the books and DVDs used. If you still want to wear HP merch, buy fan-made. Engage only with fan content: fic, podcasts, fanart, wizard rock, etc. Show transphobia is bad for business. None of this will change JKR’s mind. But the Fantastic Beast series was canceled and after record Pottermore sales in 2020, they fell in 2022 by 40%.

*She gets a portion of ALL tickets. In 2019, this was her largest income source. Read the full guide: hashtagruthless.com/resourceguide

PAGE 25

As late as 2019, I was still reading JKR’s murder mystery series. But by the fourth book my experience began to sour.

Panel 1: Maia holding a copy of Lethal White. “The only gay character in this book is a government official who gropes his staff?”

Panel 2: “The only genderqueer character is misgendered and portrayed as a whiny faker?”

Panel 3: “The only Muslim character is disowned by his family over gay rumors?”

Panel 4: “Even the women aren’t portrayed very well…”

Panel 5: “Why is the main female character defined by the rape in her past?”

Panel 6: “Wait, what happens in the rest of this series…?” Maia scrolls on eir phone.

Panel 7: “Is the series heading towards an employee/boss relationship?”

Panel 8: “And has a man wearing women’s clothes to commit assault?”

Panel 9: “Yeah, I’m done. I’m never reading a new JKR book ever again.”

PAGE 26

And as for JKR herself?

As tempting as it might be to tweet your frustrations at her, I don’t recommend it. In 2021, she tweeted, “Hundreds of trans activists have threatened to beat, rape, assassinate and bomb me.” Getting hate online feeds her sense of victimhood and she waves it as proof of her moral high ground. Instead I suggest you block her on twitter, then delete twitter, go to the library and try to find a new book that feels magical.

Stack of books: In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan, The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater, Gifts by Ursula K Le Guin, Deep Wizardry by Diane Duane, A Deadly Education by Naomi Novik and Gideon the Ninth by Tamsin Muir.

PAGE 27

In “Emergent Strategy” adrienne maree brown writes: You do not have the right to traumatize abusive people, to attack them, personally or publicly, or to sabotage anyone else’s health. The behaviors of abuse are also survival-based, learned behaviors rooted in pain. If you can look through the lens of compassion, you will find hurt and trauma there. If you are the abused party, healing that hurt is not your responsibility and exacerbating that pain is not your justified right.

PAGE 28

Seeing anyone over age 12 wearing HP merch now makes me uncomfortable. Are they ignorant or actively a TERF? I hate wondering how much money JKR has probably poured into anti-trans legislation… This zine is a culmination of my slow breakup with a story that once brought me joy. Now it just makes me angry, tired and sad.

Image: Candle in a fancy holder burned down to less than an inch.

Maia Kobabe, 2023

[maxwell-grant]

The Penguin Episode 4: Cent'anni Breakdown

She goes through all these different levels of all these different personas: excellent daughter, overachiever, and this horrific feral state in Arkham. And it's not until the yellow dress that she finds the one that fits.

Kind of like sharks can't stop moving or they sink. It's that relentless pursuit of justice.

This changes her forever. She never comes back. Something so much bigger than her takes over in order to survive - Cristin Milioti

This was pointed out to me by my friend and, show of hands everyone, who else thinks it's unbelievably fucking sick that it is Sofia who gets to show up at the Falcone dinner table, wearing a thematically appropriate embodiment of her childhood trauma, and do a "None of you are safe" speech?

(Episode 1) (Episode 2) (Episode 3) (Episode 5) (Episode 6) (Episode 7) (Episode 8)

It probably felt odd to spend time with Sofia when we’re in a show called The Penguin. But I think it’s just as important so you can understand Oz psychologically. Even though I don’t view Oz as a hero or a villain, he is a greater villain in the show than anyone else. And for you to feel that way, I think you have to understand his primary antagonist more. And that’s Sofia.” - Lauren LeFranc

I gotta say I'm generally not enthusiastic about Penguin being depicted as overtly disgusting, like drooling and eating raw fish and all that Burton stuff (actually I do think the black bile is cool, but only so far as as that version goes), but for that opening scene, that was a spectacularly well-placed bit of grossness. Like this sheer craven animalistic ugliness of DeVito's Penguin descending for a second to show us how Sofia sees Oz, and even how right she is to do so at the moment because holy shit hahahahahaha

From what we can see of Sofia's pre-Arkham life, she was basically the Meadow Soprano of the family: The smart, overachieving golden child, whose social standing and eligitibility for leadership wouldn't even be up for debate if she was born a man like her loser brother (love AJ, relate uncomfortably to AJ, he's not at all morally comparable to Alberto, but he is very much a loser). Socially conscious and sticking up for victims but only if you don't poke too closely at her victim-generating family business, aware of some things but willfully blind to her own hypocrisy and insistent that daddy is still in average a good man who isn't as bad as people around her may say he is. I'd even say that the Sofia we see here is a more moral person than Meadow, although obviously being the daughter of Carmine Falcone is a much scarier, more isolating and horrific prospect than growing up the daughter of Tony Soprano (the ways in which the two Sopranos kids diverged and majorly prefigured American socio-political developments that kicked off after the show is a topic for another post).

(Also, I don't really want to bring up Sopranos comparisons because the shows are similar, they're really not, but I finished The Sopranos yesterday so they're gonna come up still)

I think Mark Strong does a really good job here filling in for John Turturro's role, even if he's not quite as good in it as Turturro. I think he plays the character differently in a way that works really well for this being a past version of Carmine, filtered through Sofia's vision. He is imposing and quiet and mighty, a lone titan of unquestionable power over the entire world, not even remotely someone to be defied or displeased. Turturro's Falcone was charismatic and affable and oozing with unspeakable yet casual cruelty, and I would have liked that here, but I like the idea that we're seeing a Carmine from before he was invincible, when he still needed Sofia to help him get Congressman Hill on the phone and still worried about the future of the family at Alberto's hands, a Carmine from when the Maronis were still around and he wasn't the sole ruling power in Gotham, who could still possibly lose even without vigilante intervention.

He is larger, more imposing, a stern and stoic father who had little use for pleasantries, and with no mirth to be had at the expense of the little people who think they can do anything against him that matters, even if he is getting there. I think the difference here adds a nice little arc to Carmine: there was a time where he needed to keep up appearences, there was a time where he raised his voice above a whisper to get things done, and there was a time where he wasn't the real mayor of Gotham. There was a time where he was a "proper" Don, when he acted like his comics counterpart, and none of that really became necessary over the following decade, when he grew more and more invincible and isolated and comfortable in this nightmare he made the city into.

They also confirm here that apparently the Iceberg Lounge/44 Below existed way back when Oz was just Sofia's driver, and it was already Carmine's prostitute slaughterhouse even then and Alberto knew about it. Possibly explains why Oz was handed the club in the first place, because the Falcones already called him Sofia's penguin and putting The Penguin in charge of the Iceberg Lounge would fit their idea of a laugh (and given how much Oz hates being called Penguin, he would hardly come up with the name himself)

Lmao, those dog comparisons I keep making really don't stop justifying themselves.

Credit again to Mike Marino and the prosthetics team for this younger Oz make-up, he strikes a very nice middleground between current Oz and the one we see as a kid.

Really like what we see of Sofia and Oz's dynamic here, again reinforcing that for all intents and purposes he was the sidekick in her HBO protagonist life. We see how Sofia likes his company and how she even kinda defends him from the family, but she really cannot bring herself to respect him very much and disdains him from the same very upper-class perspective the rest of the family does, she's just nicer about it. And in turn we see parts of where Oz's resentment to her comes from, and also the extent to which Oz was always lying in wait for an opportunity to get ahead regardless of her, his justified grievances as well as him being a conniving fuck. The really thin line this treads though, is that it establishes that neither of them were lying about how they meant something to each other, even if it doesn't help.

Sofia did have her life ruined partially because of Oz, she did endure horrific things while he got a promotion because he ratted her out to Carmine, and he very much did in part because he wanted to get ahead and saw an opportunity to do so. But also, Oz genuinely had no idea that this is what Carmine would do, and I think in large part this was also about keeping himself safe. It's not even that unbelievable that he was genuinely looking out for her, because holy shit you do not talk to the press about Carmine Falcone, daughter or not, and he tried warning her in the car before she rebuffed him and insulted him pretty deep for good measure. If Sofia talked to the press and would not stop talking (since he didn't know in the car that she rebuffed Gleeson) and shit started happening because of her snooping around, he would have absolutely gotten punished/murdered for it, it is not at all a stretch to assume that Carmine would have done something to Oz as punishment to Sofia.

Oz didn't plan any kind of misfortune, at no point did he mastermind her admission into Arkham (or even help keep her there with the letters, like the rest of the family), he just told Carmine something he shouldn't have, and neither of them expected anything too terrible was gonna come out of it. They both wildly underestimated what a complete scumbag Carmine is, but with Carmine (and the others) gone, there's nobody else to turn those grievances to.

Even if Oz could claim deniability for the Arkham thing, which he kinda can't but Sofia even tried to grant him anyway, he sure as shit can't for everything else he does in the opening minutes.

Oh hey it's Mr Mustache With The Broken Nose.

A thing that came to mind when I was watching the episode was the story of Rosemary Kennedy, JFK's sister whose father arranged for her to be institutionalized and lobotomized at age 23 as a reponse to "difficult" behavior. I'm not recounting it in more detail here because the rest of it is just too horrific, look it up yourself if you're curious. I remembered it because reading about Rosemary Kennedy ruined my fucking day and it still pumps up the breaks in my train of thought every now and then, so it came to mind watching this story about a young woman horrifically institutionalized and butchered for the sake of her wealthy family's image. Later I heard the podcast, and turns out that actually was exactly what Lauren LeFranc based Sofia's story on, which was nice. I'm glad it also fucks Lauren LeFranc up and that we both agree she should have gotten to wreak revenge on the entire family over it, thank you Penguin Show that continues to be made for me, this was nice.

Oh hey, Magpie. Just the name, yeah, but that was another nice surprise. I used to have a bit of a soft spot for Magpie, occasionally I thought there was something to get out of her and Penguin together, so a part of me likes that they put Magpie in The Penguin show even if just in name. Yes, she only exists to be annoying and die, but that's what she already tends to do anyway. And y'know, much as I may like her, she is still a John Byrne character, so she doesn't really deserve much more than that

Jesus Christ this episode gets uncomfortable.

I like that this establishes that Julian Rush kinda did make an effort to help her and kinda felt bad about it, but not nearly enough, and that he is very much a complicit contemptible creep who has it coming as much as any of the people who put Sofia in there.

Cannot state enough how much I appreciate that they didn't put any actual named Batman villains in the Arkham Asylum episode, guarantee a lot of creators would not resist the temptation. I mean okay I guess there is a Ventris already in Batman but, come on, you know who I mean. This did not need any references to like, Jeremiah Arkham or Jonathan Crane or Hugo Strange or any of that, and that's not a diss on any of those guys, it's just that unlike pretty much every other Batman story, this episode does not undercut it's point about the horrific institutional horrors dehumanizing and destroying Sofia by pinning it on a chief boogeyman supervillain that Batman is going to fight later. Dr. Ventris is not responsible for the systemic rot that got her there nor is he the sole orchestrator/perpetrator of the abuse it's inmates suffer, he simply answers to those, and thus perpetuates them, by doing his job in a mental institution.

I am still haunted by the inmate committing suicide with a fork. It is so fucked up that Sofia was tortured and goaded by the doctors into murdering another inmate, and when that failed, they tortured her again and again and again until she snapped. The whole point was to push Sofia beyond the breaking point to justify further incarceration. The doctors just standing there letting her kill Magpie.

I want Dr.Rush to die.

I have more thoughts on Arkham, but I'd call this the most horrific take on Arkham so far, because it is the most honest take on Arkham so far. Even at it's most run-down and monstrous, it is usually never at all into question that Arkham Asylum is necessary, because if it wasn't there, all the crazies would run rampant in Gotham. Over the years, it's monstrousness has always been tied directly and specifically to it's inmates, and whenever people have pointed out the shoddy conditions and inhospitable environment of Arkham as a factor for repeat offenders, it's pretty much always as a fandom joke outside of Batman stories proper, and if there is anything wrong with the way the Asylum works, it is always the fault of particularly evil villains attached. A Lock-Up, a Jeremiah Arkham, a Hugo Strange, etc. Arkham Asylum is in general a Batman concept that's raised a lot of discussions and calls for revision over the years, and a lot of the issues with it tie into larger issues around superhero depictions of the carceral system, that @artbyblastweave went into here.

Here, in large part because this is a realistic world and a Gotham without a rampaging supervillain contingent of repeat offenders who can magically break out constantly, it is never into question that the patients are the victims of this system, and if they are being turned into potential supervillains, it is because of Arkham inflicting this on them. This is an Arkham Asylum that remains a nightmarish, horrific force in this world, but not because it's Castle Dracula where all the crazy villains hang out, not even just because the rest of Gotham is hopelessly rotten and corrupt, but because it's a mental institution and depicted accordingly. It gets to dig into the real life horrors mental institutions inflict on it's patients without having to justify those measures as benign or necessary to keep crazy crimes from happening. Frankly, this take on Arkham Asylum has been long overdue.

In every form of Batman media, just about the worst thing that can happen at any given moment is Arkham Asylum falling and it's inmates escaping into the streets, that's generally what happens when Batman needs to deal with apocalyptic stakes (which is why of course it happens all the fucking time now). Here, that scenario would be regarded with cheer, because the worst thing that can happen in this universe is being sent to Arkham Asylum. It isn't just Batman's unofficial personal prison / punching gallery, if anything it massively raises the stakes on this Batman's next adventures, because now we know this is what's waiting for him if he gets caught and unmasked.

I like that Sofia and Oz are both trying to save/protect those they see as younger versions of themselves, while inflicting on them the kinds of tragedies that ultimately created them

Oz reached out to this poor disabled kid from the streets and is showing him the ropes, while also belittling him as a nobody and distorting his worldview and dragging him into life or death cornered scrapdog situations chipping away at his morals. Sofia saves her little niece who laughs at bad table manners and doesn't quite do what her family says, gently lulling her to sleep so she can kill her mom and her entire family.

Extremely important that Sofia Falcone makes her formal arrival as a villain by showing up dressed in a sexy yet fitting extension of her trauma / cultural reference (The Yellow Wallpaper / the walls in her mother's bedroom), before putting on a mask and enacting Gotham's first Mass Casualty Gas Attack, we love to see it.

I was frankly already calling Sofia one of my favorite Bat-villains even before this episode, I'm just glad everyone seems to be on the same page with me now. I'm seeing a lot of posts on Twitter and Instagram talking about how they're rooting for Sofia instead of Oz, that she deserves to win this war, and good, fucking amazing that they're doing this, again, this show is hitting home runs I could not have foreseen.

It is incredible what a character they've made out of Sofia, and the fact that we now see Oz as her antagonist as much as we see Sofia as his, and the fact that if Penguin wins, he will win this as a villain. He will steal a victory he does not deserve and rub it in your face and he will make the children of the world cry for it as any villain worth his name should be doing, and it frankly wouldn't be much of a fight if Sofia wasn't every bit the complicated, engaging protagonist he is. Lauren LeFranc claimed that she sees Sofia is the closest the show has to a hero even if she is not, and this is the episode that sold everyone on it.

Halfway through the show and it's only gotten better and better, can't wait for what's coming next.

[shanastoryteller]

happy pride! god zagreus, please?

a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

It's not that difficult to find the bright, blazing light of Zagreus above the surface and pull himself there. He didn't even go very far - he's still on the same mountain as the entrance to the underworld.

Except when he appears, it's nothing like the mountaintop he remembers. All his angry words die on his tongue, replaced with a tentative sort of wonder.

"Pretty cool, huh?" Zagreus asks, beaming as he gestures to the lush forest and garden, full of plants and fruit that he's never seen before, in colors that shouldn't exist.

It's wild, but cultivated. They're in front of a fountain and there's a cobblestone path winding deeper into the forest, and even a hammock and a fishing pole near the pond, which is the part that he focuses on because it's the part that's connected to the Zagreus that he knows. He can easily imagine him lounging in that hammock for hours, pole held in a lazy grip that flicks back whenever he feels a bite.

"Prince?"

He turns and there is a woman coming up the path. She's beautiful, for a mortal, and just as lush as the greenery surrounding them. Zagreus's power is all around them, but she glows with it, giving her a subtle golden aura that any immortal could pick up on.

"Eliana," Zagreus says warmly. "Your father is taken care of. He was bragging about you to Sisyphus when I left."

She smiles, and it's tinged with sadness, but she says, "Thank you. You're all he talked about at the end. He was so excited to meet you."

He ducks his head. "Well, I hope I lived up to his expectations."

Zagreus had said that he wasn't married, but what else can this mortal be, who is cloaked in his power and speaks to him so casually? Thanatos's stomach flips then fills with acid.

"You never disappoint," she reassures, voice warm and fond and familiar. She flickers her eyes in his direction and raises an eyebrow.

"Ah," Zagreus's grin widens. "There's someone I want you to meet. This is Thanatos, the god of death, and, more importantly, he is my oldest and dearest friend."

She bows to him deeply, although she does not fully prostrate herself, which he feels uncharacteristically miffed about.

"Thanatos, this is Eliana. She is my high priestess. She oversees my the building of my temples and my orchards and is charged with discharging blessings in my name."

Ah.

No wonder she had not gotten to her knees before him. That level of devotion is reserved only for the god who's power she wields.

"You're a god," he says, staring at Zagreus, trying to reconcile everything he thought he knew with what's in front of him.

He smiles, teasing. "I've always been a god."

Yes and no.

He was always a god, but one without a domain. One without temples or worshippers or tributes. Even Thanatos doesn't have temples in his name.

"What are you the god of?" he asks, trying to ignore the tightness in his throat.

Eliana answers, "Our Prince is the god of life and the god of blood. Only he can provide shelter against the endless winter."

Thanatos blinks, because out of everything he's been told, this is the most unbelievable. "You - you're trying to stand against Demeter?"

"I have been standing against Demeter," he says, that familiar arrogance in every line of his body. "Who besides me? I am the son of the Lord of the Underworld and the Goddess of Spring. I will stave off death and call forth spring, for I am the god of life."

Fuck.

Thanatos misses a couple minutes ago when he thought they just had a civil war to deal with.

[simphornies]

A/N: A bit shorter but 👀 Let me know what you think! 🫶

Word count: 2.8k (2,844) Warnings: a little bit angsty

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 5, finale

Deal Breaker [ Vox x Angel!Reader ] part 4

You didn’t even bother putting your things away neatly as you usually do. You furiously walked out your room, slamming the door behind you. You looked down every hallway you passed as you headed to the lobby. You headed over to the bar to ask Husk if he’s seen Alastor but before you could say anything, Angel Dust stopped you in your tracks with a tight, four-armed hug.

“Y/N! Holy shit…” He looked at you with tears in his eyes. His black scleras were now gone and back to normal. For a moment your rage subsided. You smiled at him and held him close, rubbing his back. “Thank you, Y/N.”

Your heart melted, remembering what you were truly in Hell for. “Of course, Angel Dust. Anything for my friends.” You look over at Husk who gives you a heartfelt smile.

Angel Dust was crying tears of happiness as you comforted him. He calmed down soon enough, repeating his gratitude for your actions over and over. You sigh and look at Husk, “Has anyone seen Alastor?”

“He’s up in his radio tower, probably doing a broadcast. Why?” Husk asked you, his eyes filled with confusion. You shook your head, not wanting him to ask further and he just nodded.

You flew up to his tower, fuming. You burst into his tower and he just greets you with a smile.

“Y/N! To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit to my tower this fine morning?” He held his hands behind his back, unaware of your anger towards him.

“I told you to not fuck with Vox, Alastor.” You hissed at him.

He cocked his head to the side, eyes squinted, “Whatever do you mean, my dear?” He asks you.

“Don’t play dumb with me. I know you hurt Vox in that alleyway last night.” You screamed, “You could’ve killed him!”

He rolled his eyes, looking at his claws, disinterested in your accusations, “Oh trust me, if I wanted to kill him…I would have done so already.” His voice was laced with radio static. “But I haven’t laid a single finger on him, Y/N. He must be lying to you.”

You shook your head, “That’s bullshit! The marks on him matched your claws and I know how you attack other demons that interfere with your plans.” Your wings appeared behind you, eyes appearing on your hair and your wings as you took a step closer to the demon.

Alastor’s eyes turned black, his own demon form emerging slowly, “Y/N, I had no intention of harming anyone yesterday. Why I was just here at the hotel aiding Charlie!” He says, taking a step back for every step forward you took. You were seething in rage, refusing to believe that Vox lied to you. “I have better things to do over harming that noisy picture box. He’s too pathetic for me to entertai-”

SLAP.

Alastor fell to the floor, ears flat against his head. He looked up at you shocked as he held his cheek, “Y/N-”

“Save it, Alastor. You have a track record of being untrustworthy when it comes to your words.” You angrily say to him, “Vox has no motive to lie to me and he’s been nothing but kind to me and everyone in the hotel. But you,” You knelt down to his level, your finger at his chest, “You’ve been hostile and unforgiving. Untrusting of his attempts at collaboration with us because of what? Your pride?” You scoffed, “Makes sense why you’re in this ring instead of the others. Your pride stops you from seeing reason and giving second chances to anyone.”

You turned away from him, getting ready to leave his tower. “He’s proven his word to me. He’s broken Angel Dust’s contract with Valentino and you? You stand proud as if you’ve done so much more than assist every now and then with the hotel. You keep Husk on a leash and don’t think I don’t know that you keep a close eye on him ensuring he doesn’t speak about the deal. I know you’ve threatened him to keep his mouth shut. You really want me to help you break that deal that chains you down?” You look over your shoulder at him with rage-filled eyes, “Break that deal and prove your word. And don’t hurt Vox for trying to help the hotel.”

Alastor’s smile remained on his face but you saw his shadow frown. The infamous and feared radio demon cowered in fear knowing that if you really wanted to, you could take his life with ease just as Adam did. Maybe worse. Before you could leave the tower he speaks up, “I’ll break the deal Husk has with me.” You paused in your tracks, refusing to look at him. “Y/N you are a friend of mine and I promise you. I did not harm Vox last night. I swear to you I’ve been at the hotel. Ask everyone! I’ve been here this whole time. Trust me, Y/N. I would never show anyone weakness. You are correct, it is my pride that sets me back but I have proven to you that I am able to put that aside when it’s just us, have I not?”

He was right. He never showed himself to be anything but strong but he’s confided in you. He was one of the first friends you’ve made at the hotel. You turn to look at him on the floor and…was that fear in his eyes? Your eyes began to fill with tears, “Alastor…”

“I will prove to you, as my friend, that I am to be trustworthy. If there is anybody I am willing to prove my undying loyalty to, it is you. You are the one who saved me after all.”

You knelt at his side, placing your glowing hand on the cheek that you had slapped. “I’m sorry, I…I was filled with rage. That was unbecoming of me, I am sorry.” You apologized, “I…But why would he lie to me? What purpose…”

“To gain your trust, my dear.” He hissed, “I can undoubtedly assure you he wants you for himself. I know him, Y/N. He craves power as much as I do and he wants to keep you by his side and take you away from us.” A part of you truly wanted to believe in him, but the love that you suddenly had for Vox was overpowering your senses. He had become your weakness.

Back at Vox’s building, he sat in his security room laughing menacingly. He had seen you leave in a fit of rage through his cameras and found enjoyment in his plan. He rewinded the footage to rewatch you angrily go up Alastor’s radio tower. If Alastor’s presence didn’t interfere with cameras, he would have one in there to watch what you were going to do to Alastor. His face dropped when he saw you enraged. He didn’t understand why but he felt absolute guilt for lying to you. He had Valentino hire some random demon to attack him in that alleyway, making sure they had claws like Alastor to make it more believable.

The more he looked at your face on the screen, he noticed the tears in your eyes and he couldn’t take it anymore. He felt horrible. He’s never felt such emotion so strongly before. He started to think that maybe he should tell you the truth and drop the act but he was in too deep to turn back.

He left the security room and walked into his meeting room, stressed out of his mind. Valentino and Velvette were there waiting for him.

“Fucking finally!” Valentino groaned, “You took forever stalking your little angel bitch.” Valentino calling you a bitch made Vox’s eye twitch. He remained quiet.

“So how’d the plan go? Is it working?” Velvette looked at Vox excitedly, “Is she wrapped around your little finger?”

He quietly took a deep breath and put on a fake smile for his colleagues, “Of course it’s worked. Soon Y/N will be fighting for us.” He grinned but the smile faded from his face quickly.

“The fuck is wrong with you?” Velvette watched him closely, noting his odd behavior. Usually he’d be ecstatic but he stood like he regretted his decisions. And he did. The time you two have spent together made him fall for you but his pride stopped him from turning back on his original plan.

“I don’t know. I…” He sighed and sat down, “I can’t fucking understand this feeling.”

“Ecstaticity?” Velvette suggested.

“Or maybe you’re horny from the power we’re about to get?” Valentino laughed, blowing out a thick cloud of smoke that faded into hearts.

“No it’s like. It’s like everytime I see Y/N’s face my heart stops beating.” He ranted. Velvette’s eyes widened and stared at Vox. “Everytime I hear her laugh, I want to hear it more.” Valentino’s smile faded and he stared at him alongside Velvette. “I want to keep that smile she always has on her face. I…”

Velvette and Valentino slammed their fists on the table. “Are you fucking kidding me right now Vox?” Velvette snapped at him, “Are you really telling me you’re falling in love with the fucking angel?” She scoffed and got up in her face, “You’re fucking kidding right?”

“Falling in love?” He questioned. Suddenly the dots connected in his head. He realized that he truly was falling for you. He fell for your kindness, your strength and your pride in your power.

“That’s fucking pathetic Vox. You can’t fall in love.” Velvette grabbed him by the collar, “You’re supposed to use her. She’s a fucking tool.”

“You’re seriously falling for the princesa’s second angel?” Valentino sassed, “You have me, Vox~” His hand caressed Vox’s shoulder seductively.

Vox pushed them both off of him, his left eye spiraling in anger. “I can feel and do whatever the fuck I want. Maybe I am falling for Y/N. So fucking what?” He spat back.

“You’re getting weak, Vox.” Valentino shook his head in disappointment.

“Get the fuck out! Both of you!” He screamed, seething in anger at the insults they’d thrown at you more than the ones they’d thrown at him.

“I wonder what the little angel would think if she found out about your little plan~” Velvette grinned at him, a threatening look in her eyes. “I think I should remind you that you’re supposed to be an overlord, Vox.”

He zapped in front of Velvette, grabbing her by the collar and lifting her up to his brightly glowing face. “Velvette.” He screamed, “Stand the fuck down. You’re not doing shit.” He growled.

She laughed in response, putting her hand on his, “And what are you going to do about it, Vox?” She teased.

He sent electric shocks throughout her body, making her scream at the sudden pain, before throwing her on the ground. Valentino rushed behind Vox, quickly turning him around. He landed a punch on his face, cracking his screen. Vox screamed as sparks flew from the cracks. He growled and grabbed his hand, flashing his screen brightly to stun the moth demon. He zapped him the same way he did to Velvette, throwing him on the floor next to her.

“Don’t fuck with me. I do what the fuck I want.” He spat at them.

Velvette managed a weak laugh, “Who knows? Maybe Alastor’s already told her that he was never here to begin with. It’s only a matter of time before your little bitch finds out you were lying.”

“And what do you think she’s going to say then, hm?” Valentino chuckled, recovering from the zap. “How’s your little ‘relationship’ going to work out?”

Vox gritted his teeth and zapped out of the office into his security room. He sat down in his chair, leg shaking with anxiety. “Fuck fuck fuck…” He muttered.

.

You sulked in your room, not knowing what to feel about the whole situation. Alastor was your friend, his vulnerability made you want to believe him but he also knew that vulnerability was your weakness. You’d fallen for Vox and you didn’t want to believe that he’d do something like that. You didn’t want to call and ask him either. You sighed and buried yourself under the blankets, your wings wrapping around you for comfort.

You heard the door open. “Go away.” You groaned. You felt someone sit next to you, it was Vaggie.

“I heard what happened.” She rubs your shoulder, “Vox is saying that Alastor hurt him and Alastor’s saying he’s lying.” You stayed quiet. “Hey. I know how it is.” You glanced at her and she gave you a warm smile, “Everyone’s flawed down here. Do you wanna talk about it?”

You were quiet for a moment, not wanting to talk but decided to get it off your chest anyways. “I just…I trust Alastor. I know you don’t trust him as much as I do but I was filled with so much rage that I…I hit him. I didn’t even bother asking, I just slapped him.” You swear you just saw Vaggie grin excitedly at the thought of Alastor getting hit but she dropped her grin the moment you looked at her. “And…Vox. I don’t know who to trust.”

“Well, have you talked to him?” She asks. You shake your head. “How about you start there?” “What if Alastor did hurt him? What if he lied? And what if I ask Vox and he says he lied? What if Alastor was right and he was just manipulating me?” You tear up, “I really did fall in love with him. He broke Angel Dust’s contract and kept his word so far. I just-” You broke down into tears.

“Hey. We’re in the Hazbin Hotel. This place is all about second chances. We forgave Sir Pentious despite his initial bad intentions. Charlie forgave me for not telling her about me being an exorcist.” She sighed, “She forgave me for not telling her I’m stuck down here because of the extermination! You know, maybe he has bad intentions, maybe he doesn’t. But at the end of day, everyone in Hell is flawed. It’s the actions that matter.” You wiped your tears away and nodded, understanding her points. “Think about it, okay? Maybe call him. Talk to him.” She gave you a hug before leaving your room.

You pulled out the phone Vox gave you and stared at his contact. Your finger hovered over the call button but you couldn’t get yourself to press it. You were heartbroken at the thought that either Alastor or Vox were lying. Your heart felt heavy. You hadn’t felt this emotion in so long.

While your finger hovered over Vox’s call button, your phone suddenly started to get a slew of texts that went too fast for you to read in the notifications. As you try to click on one of the many messages, Valentino calls you. You reluctantly answered. “Hello?” You weakly spoke out, your shaky voice evident.

“Hello angel~” He purred. You hated that nickname if it didn't come from Vox or any of your closest friends.

“What do you want, Val?”

“I just want you to know that you’re lucky Vox broke that contract off with Angel Dust.” He hissed into the phone, “Because if he was still mine he would be in my studio right now getting absolutely fucked to death. And I mean it. To. Death.” He laughed.

His laughter faded into the background as he passed it to somebody else. It was Velvette.

“And I want you to know that we are coming for you stupid little hotel. We stocked up on Carmilla’s weapons and we’re coming straight for you, holy bitch.” She cackled, “And just so you know. Your little lovebug Vox has been lying to you. He doesn’t want you. He wants your power! Hah! I can’t believe you really fell for it.”

“...What..?” You were in shock, almost dropping your phone.

“Little Voxy here decided to fuck with us and I’m going to safely assume it’s because of you.”

“Watch out, Y/N~ We’ll be there when you least expect it.” Valentino says in the background. The two let out a sinister laugh as the call ends abruptly.

You were speechless. You didn’t know what else to do except run out of your room to warn the staff of the attack.

“Guys!” You yell out from the stairs, “Get ready! Arm yourselves!”

“What?! What’s going on?” Charlie says, panicked at your frantic state.

“The Vees are coming. And they have angelic weapons. They…Something happened to Vox and now Valentino and Velvette are coming!”

“Shit-When? How do you know?”

“They just got off the phone and-”

BOOM.

A loud explosion comes from outside of the hotel. The building began to shake and before you could say anything else everyone’s expressions went from anger to worry as they ran towards you. You looked up and saw debris falling down right where you stood.

Tag list: @dawko-fanpage @chewbrry @ghostdoodlen @emekeneme

[bluemantics]

do u have any fics u think are like REALLY funny

Oh my gosh absolutely I do have humor tagged fics. When I write fanfics I try to make them funny, so when I read, I definitely look for the same! I put stars next to my faves.

If you want to check out my romcom klance fics and support me, they're here (coffee shop au) & here (hsm-ish au) /nf.

1. skin hunger by hiuythn

Canonverse | T+ | 12.5K

Keith is touch-starved to the point of stupidity. Lance helps. Lance tries to help. Lance tries.

2. the meaning of donuts by Katranga

Canonverse | T+ | 14.7K

The next few days were filled with Lance informing everyone, multiple times, of their “new” friendship. “We’re friends now, did you hear? Keith and I are friends.” Over and over, big smile, loud voice. Looking between Keith and whoever he was telling like he expected a round of applause. Or confetti. Or a parade. What he usually got was somebody making a crack about bonding moments, which prompted a tight, put-upon sigh on Keith’s end. And Lance would look at him fondly, and Keith would have to bite his cheek to distract himself from how much he wanted Lance to lean over and kiss him.

3. The Open Space of Desire by Prevalent_Masters *

Modern AU (river giuide x climber) | E | 44.8K

Keith’s doing just fine, thanks. So maybe he dropped out of college and maybe he doesn’t have what one might call “direction” in his life, but so what? He’s got a job he doesn’t hate, he’s got enough friends for his liking, he’s got Shiro, he’s got climbing on the weekends, he’s got the hookups with closeted college boys every once in awhile, and he’s fine. Happy. He doesn’t need anything to change.

That is, until he almost accidentally gets into a bar fight with an infuriatingly attractive river guide and then starts seeing said river guide everywhere and it turns out he's less infuriating but still definitely attractive, and, well—maybe Keith hasn’t been doing that fine. Maybe one thing can change.

4. Eyes So Pretty by stormie2817

Canonverse | T+ | 2.8K

When the paladins and their friends gather for a night of drinking and relaxing, Lance indulges a little too much and says some rather interesting things about a certain paladin....

5. The Loverboy Trials by PM_Writes

Canonverse | M | 20.8K

He can tell Shiro is struggling to remain collected. “And why do you think Keith is your…sex…god?” And geez, that would be so much funnier if this wasn’t so disturbing.

The representative leads them to the back of the council room where she pulls aside a large curtain. Behind it, a huge mural stretches to the ceiling.

It looks exactly like Keith.

6. you’re lucky that’s what I like by zencetera

College AU | T+ | 4K

Lance rescues a hamster from certain doom.

or, Lance has Keith wrapped around his little finger and doesn’t even realize it.

7. Billy Ray is my boyfriend by VertigoReader101

Youtuber AU | G | 6K

It was moments like these that made Lance forget about his fears of telling everyone about his boyfriend. It was moments like these that he wanted to whip out his camera and share the love of his life with the world.

8. A Keithmas Carol by YouAreInAComaWakeUp (Nikanaiko) *

Bluemantics commentary: I adore Nikanaiko's writing more than literally any other klance author's. While I didn't laugh out loud while reading many fics, I always lose my shit for their work, SO PLEASE CHECK IT OUT.

Christmas Carol AU | T+ | 28.5K

Keith has read A Christmas Carol. Keith knows how A Christmas Carol is supposed to go.

This is not how A Christmas Carol is supposed to go.

9. suite on you by adelfie

College AU | T+ | 12K

Accident-prone Lance McClain learns that his grumpy suitemate, Keith, has one rule: to leave him alone. Lance would really like to follow that rule. Really. But his clumsiness has other plans.

10. It Never Rains on Saturday by TheLegendOfChel *

Video Game AU | T+ | 22.7K

In the magical kingdom of Altea lies an ominous tower filled with monsters. Every day, adventurers battle through the tower’s levels in a never-ending quest to slay the Demon King who lives at the very top.

Lance, a talented archer, is one such adventurer. However, Lance doesn’t want to kill the Demon King.

Lance wants to marry him.

11. Keith Kogane Tries to Keep Up With a Professional Chef | Back-to-Back Chef | Bon Appétit by eggyeggplant *

Bluemantics commentary: I'm in shock this one isn't more popular since it is one of the funniest fics I've EVER read for ANY fandom. If you read this one, please give the author extra love, comments, kudos, etc.

Youtube AU | G | 3.5K

Actor Keith Kogane appears in a YouTube video with an old friend Lance McClain in an episode of Back-to-Back Chef where they attempt to make simple carbonara but they keep getting distracted by flirting with each other.

Hope these make you laugh anon!

[lucky-clover-gazette]

rating the volo voice lines from pokemon masters ex as i hear them for the first time

“I’m Volo of the Ginkgo Guild, the go-to choice for your mercantile needs.” 

Sounds like he’s practicing his merchant persona in front of a mirror. Very pleased with his own performance. Might break out into song about it. 8/10

“Allow me to present this to you.” 

Spot-on cadence of Chris Traeger from Parks and Recreation. 4/10

“Here’s a special treat for you!” 

Creepy. Feels like he’s going to hand me a bomb. 2/10

“Oh! It’s looking lively around here.” 

Sounds like he thinks he’s too cool for the party you’ve both walked into and wants to know that you hate it too. 7/10

“What a joy to be alive!” 

Said with the paradoxical determination and resignation of someone who values his own life too highly to end it, but hates that life so fucking bad. 10/10

“Oh! My heart is racing with excitement!” 

Sounds like he just made himself think of something he actually cares about in order to generate enthusiasm about your thing. Also, overdoing it on the “oh,” there. 7/10

“If we use this well, the world will open up.” 

Whatever you say, beautiful. What are we talking about? 8/10 

“I like you better and better!” 

He’s telling the truth, but he likes me for reasons way less innocent and simple than my continued business. Regardless, the praise is appreciated. 10/10 

“Fancy running into you again!” 

Two possibilities: he very intentionally arranged this meeting and is pretending to be surprised, or he was surprised by the meeting and is pretending to be chill about it. 8/10 

“Maybe we’ll get to know each other better now!” 

Sounds like he’s about to ask for my social security number, and if I’m into men, and if I’m into giving men my social security number. 6/10

“Of course. I’d be glad to help.” 

He’s foaming at the mouth to involve himself in whatever protagonist shit I’m up to right now. 9/10

“I can see a whole new world!” 

According to Bulbapedia, he says this “upon reaching max level.” Is that like a relationship level? Does that mean I’m his world? Knowing his motivations in PLA, this could easily have a double meaning—getting close to me, and therefore Arceus, allows him to create a new world. This concerns me less because of the world erasure thing, and more because it might mean he doesn’t actually care about me. 1/10 

“Let the battle begin!” 

Doing a pretty good job sounding normal with this one. 3/10 

“That’s it! Go right ahead!” 

According to Bulbapedia he’s saying this to Togepi, which is very sweet. Also explains why it doesn’t sound fake as hell. 10/10 

“Here you are!” 

He says this to Togepi when he gives her an item in battle, I’m assuming a potion? Which is, again, extremely sweet. 10/10 

“Pay me later!” 

He says this while “using Trainer move,” which I assume is like his signature flourish during battle. The reference to his merchant persona is clever and he sounds like he’s very proud of it. I’m amused by the implication that I’m supposed to pay him for something, though. Is he helping me or battling me? Both? What are we, Volo? 4/10

“Delightful!” 

Accompanies the “nice” emote. I’m not going to complain. 5/10

“Careful now!” 

Accompanies the “watch out” emote. He sounds concerned, but like, in a “please don’t inconvenience me with your pain” way. I wish he truly cared, but maybe if I lie to myself, I can believe that he does. 3/10 

“I’m filled with curiosity!” 

Said with the exact cadence of Grunkle Stan talking to idiot tourists at the Mystery Shack. Ostensibly laughing at himself, but actually laughing at the people who are stupid enough to believe him. 9/10

“Pokemon battles are always good fun!” 

He only says this when he wins, which means they’re not always good fun. Makes perfect sense for the character and I like the delivery. 8/10 

“Too powerful…” 

He says, actively fantasizing about eventually proving himself more powerful. 10/10 

“BEHOLD! DESTINY! LEGENDS! UNDONE!” 

Bulbapedia identifies these words as things he yells during “unity attack/theme skill.” I have no idea what that means. It sounds to me like he’s accidentally taken a double dose of his ADHD stimulant medication and is just saying whatever the fuck comes to mind. 6/10 

“Allow me!” 

Said while “switching in.” Assuming he’s helping me, this is rather nice to hear. I’m more than happy to set this strange contemptuous man on my battle opponent. 9/10 

“Oh dear, that’s too bad.” 

Said while “recalling fainted Pokemon.” Option 1: He’s recalling his Togepi and trying very hard to sound brave about it. 10/10. Option 2: He’s taunting me about my fainted Pokemon with a sickly-sweet condescending tone. Also 10/10. 

“Good morning! Are you heading out today?” 

I appreciate the casual greeting and barely-contained rabid interest in my protagonist activities. 8/10 

“In that case, potions are a must.” 

Thoughtful and dedicated to his quotas. It does feel like he’s five seconds from calling me “milady,” though. Wait, in PLA I think he actually does that. It might be “madam.” He’s so embarrassing. 7/10 

“The weather outsider is lovely today.” 

Sounds like he’s about to take his lunch break so we can enjoy it together. 8/10 

“So, how about it? Care to go on an outing with me?” 

Already beat him to it. He’s trying so hard to sound chill, but I think if I said no it would ruin his day. Also, what’s with “outing?” Just say “date.” The game knows you’re saying “date.” This is a dating sim. 10/10

“Please, don’t overexert yourself too late at night. I don’t want to lose one of my loyal customers!” 

First, that’s what she said. 6/10. Second, he’s negging me again. 9/10. Third, he has other loyal customers?! 0/10

“Ah!”

Sounds like the peanut butter baby from that 2016 viral video. 4/10

“Rrrrrrr…” 

Nintendog. 7/10

*Sighs deeply* 

Agreed. 9/10

“Yes.” 

Me when I say “yes.” 5/10 

*Increasingly loud fake bouts of laughter* 

This man is going to end up on the news. 10/10

*Evil chuckle, tapering off into deranged humming* 

This man is going to end up at the Tony Awards. 10/10 

*Bitchy throat clear that turns into a laugh* 

This is how he laughs at the PLA protagonist after he insults their “curious getup.” 10/10

“Outstanding!” 

He’s high, tipsy, and/or sleep deprived, and someone just suggested getting takeout. 6/10 

“As expected…” 

Apropos of nothing, but he does like to feel smart. 7/10 

“CONGRAAAAAAATULATIONS!!!” 

This is perfect. This is a perfect voice line. The voice actor understands the comedy of Volo’s character perfectly. Divine madness aside, he is a merchant NPC almost obsessively invested in the protagonist’s adventures—but unlike many such cases, the narrative both understands and demonstrates how fucking weird and off-putting that is. 1000000/10 

“I wish you great fortune.” 

Reminds me of the PLA line, “Supporting you now is actually an investment in my own fortunes.” The voice actor nails the double meaning. 7/10 

“HOOOOW DARE????!!!!” 

I can’t find an explanation for this line. I think it’s just random. He’s so fucking weird. Did he read that in a book? Is he in a bad play? 10/10 

*Whimpering* 

Took a quick break to walk around my apartment and poorly make the bed. No further comment. ?/10

*Relieved sigh* 

It’s a relieved sigh. 

*Literal actual moaning* 

???????????????????

*Various other noises* 

The people in the comments of this video were not exaggerating. Holy shit. 

“Have some mercy!” 

WHAT IS THIS GAME RATED??????

*Deep sigh* “Now then…” 

I have no words. I don’t know. Why does this exist in the way it exists. 

“Right! Thank you!” 

I feel like I just witnessed something that I did not ask to witness. Does the Ginkgo Guild have a HR department? 

“My apologies.” 

That is not helping his case. 

“Leave it to me!” 

Good voice line. Great performance. He would say that. We’re back on track, love it. 5/10 

“No thank yewwwwww…” 

Bitch. 8/10 

“Please!”

“Indeed…” 

“That is quite something!” 

All very normal. 5/10 

“You’re too kind.” 

This is the weirdest line delivery yet. He sounds unhinged. Something happened around the 1:19 point of this video that neither of us can pretend didn’t happen. ???/10 

“Until next time.” 

Spoken like a charming male musical theater lead who just did a little song and dance about his life philosophy. 9/10 

“Come on, now.” 

Getting weird again. There is nothing I could possibly possess that would necessitate that amount of beleaguered desperation. 6/10

“Let’s get our blood pumping!” 

Not on the first date—sorry, outing. ?/10 

“The mysteries of the past… oH-hO! How they tICKle my curiosity!” 

Sure. Why not. 5/10 

“Investigating the odd and novel is key to any good merchant’s success.” 

This is delivered pretty much how I would imagine in the game! Also just such a fun line for him—he says this as if it makes all the sense in the world, but it literally doesn’t? It’s a total non-sequitor. Investigating the odd and novel have nothing to do with being a successful merchant, and later in the game he even admits to ditching work to do his research. I’ve always appreciated that part of his characterization—the way he knows that he’s bullshitting everyone and getting away with it, and is simultaneously so smug about his clever ruse and so miserable to be alone in his truth. 10/10

“A HISTORIC MOMENT!” 

Deeply bizarre final line for a deeply bizarre character. I hope he says this about mundane shit like dropping a cup of coffee or getting an email. 10/10.

[poisonlove]

a macchiato, please | j.o

parte 1 parte 2 parte 3 parte 4 part 5

"Tell me, y/n," Emma says with a small smile, looking at me with amusement, her eyes filled with curiosity. "When will you tell Jenna how you feel?" She innocently asks.

My eyes widen, and I almost choke on the water I was drinking, surprised by the unexpected question.

"What?" I manage to stammer incredulously, trying to recover and steer the conversation. "Come on... it's obvious," Emma confesses with a playful smile on her lips, making me suddenly feel exposed.

We were in Georgie's trailer, a cozy temporary nest with scattered blankets and pillows, filled with anticipation for our movie night. We were waiting for Jenna, who was running late.

"I don't know what to say," I murmur with blushing cheeks, looking down at the floor, unsure of how to proceed. "I'm just a simple girl who works in a coffee shop... I'm not on her level," I add with a hint of discouragement, reluctantly admitting the perceived difference in social status.

Emma wraps her arm around my neck, looking at me with concerned and affectionate eyes.

"It's okay, girls?" Georgie suddenly chimes in, entering the trailer with a tray of snacks and chips, looking at us with curiosity.

"Oh, yes, don't worry," Emma responds with a genuine smile, and Georgie, understandingly, goes back to the kitchen with supplies in hand.

"Anyway... sometimes it's better to follow your heart and be with someone you're attracted to rather than aiming for someone just for their social status," Emma sweetly babbles, smiling knowingly. "Think about it," she says quickly, leaving me to ponder those words before removing her arm and giving me a pat on the shoulder.

"Do the others from the cast not want to come?" I ask with curiosity, trying to change the subject and dispel the awkwardness.

"I've already asked, but they declined the offer," Georgie replies from the kitchen, with a hint of disappointment in his voice. "But I'm happy you're here," he confesses with a smile as he comes out of the kitchen and sets up several bowls of chips, candies, and drinks.

A knock on the door grabs our attention, making us turn abruptly towards the trailer's entrance.

"That should be Jenna," Georgie exclaims quickly. "I'll go," he adds, walking towards the door.

"Go ahead, I'm not moving from here," Emma replies from the couch, reassuring, and I burst into laughter, appreciating her carefree attitude.

My eyes curiously watch the interaction between Georgie and Jenna at the door.

"Hey... hello, girls," Jenna exclaims with enthusiasm, entering the trailer and heading in our direction, her hair still wet from a recent shower.

I sigh as I see her figure, trying to ignore the rapid beating of my heart. Jenna was wearing a simple pink hoodie, Nike sweatpants, and I smile when I notice she's wearing my shoes.

Jenna approaches Emma and greets her with a quick hug while I observe everything from the floor, trying to hide my excitement. Jenna breaks the hug and moves gracefully, sitting on the floor next to me.

"Hey," Jenna murmurs softly, smiling sideways, her eyes shining with a kind light.

"Hello," I reply with a smile on my lips, trying to conceal the excitement that envelops me.

Jenna leans slightly, gracefully placing her lips on my cheek, giving me a long and touching kiss on it. The contact of her lips is like an electric spark, making my heart beat faster, and time seems to slow down, allowing me to savor every moment of that thrilling instant.

"Tell her," Emma says during a cough, making me blush at her words. "Did you say something, Emmy?" Jenna asks curiously, and the girl shakes her head with a small knowing smile.

"Alright, girls!" Georgie exclaims with enthusiasm, the only guy in the room. "What do we want to watch?" he asks excitedly.

"Didn't you say we were going to watch horror movies?" Emma asks absentmindedly, grabbing a handful of chips from the tray.

"Of course," Georgie rolls his eyes at the obviousness. "But what do you want to watch? Friday the 13th? The Babadook? Scream? I don't know, girls, decide."

"I want to watch Scream," Emma murmurs, looking at Jenna from the couch, "but I don't know if Jenna wants to," she says curiously.

"Oh... well... I don't mind," Jenna timidly confesses, "but I wanted to see the new horror movie from The House," she adds softly, resting her chin on her knees.

"Then we'll watch The House and Scream," Georgie says with a smile on his lips. "And you, y/n? What do you want to watch?" he asks curiously.

"Well... actually, in a few weeks, the latest Saw Enigma movie is coming out," I confess with a small smile, "but I don't think you want to watch nine movies," I admit with a small laugh.

Jenna puts her hand on mine, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"We said it, didn't we? A marathon," she says while looking at Emma and Georgie. "It's only 5:00 PM; we have the whole night," she adds, making her companions nod.

"So get comfortable!" Georgie exclaims excitedly, taking the remote control and walking in our direction to sit close to Emma on the couch. "If you scare me too much, I'll haunt you tomorrow," Emma says, taking a chocolate bar and a glass of Coca-Cola.

"Don't worry," Jenna mutters as she unwraps her snack. "At least mine isn't scary," she exclaims, raising the corner of her mouth.

Jenna takes a bite of her chocolate bar, and she looks at me with amused eyes. "Oh... mmmh..." she swallows. "Do you want some?" she asks as she chews on a piece of chocolate.

I nod, reaching out to take a piece of her chocolate bar, but Jenna moves my hand out of the way. "No, no," Jenna says with a smile on her lips. "Open your mouth," she says seriously.

I blush and move closer to her.

I open my mouth, trying to maintain a serious expression, and look at Jenna with anticipation, waiting for my piece of chocolate. The proximity between our faces is minimal, and I can see her delicate features clearly: the freckles that delicately dot her face, the long eyelashes framing her expressive eyes, and her full yet slender lips that seem to dance with their elegance. Jenna extends the bar toward me, not breaking eye contact, as if she wants to capture every expression on my face as I savor that small piece of chocolate. Her gaze is serious, but I see a glint of playful amusement in her eyes as she bites her lower lip.

"Don't count on me, Georgie," Emma intervenes. "The food is mine," she says with a jealous tone.

I smile shyly. "All right," Georgie mumbles offended. "Let's watch the movie," he adds quickly, pressing the play button to start the movie Scream.

The room was plunged into darkness, and the shadows seemed to creep in, adding an eerie layer to our movie night. The dimmed lights intensified the sense of anticipation, casting each face in an enigmatic glow.

As the movie started, I couldn't help but feel a sense of pride and satisfaction as Jenna's image appeared on the screen. She had seamlessly slipped into the role of Tara Carpenter, and her presence was magnetic.

Her expressions and mannerisms were so convincing that it was impossible not to be captivated by her performance. With a knowing smile, I glanced in her direction, our eyes locking for a brief moment. Jenna's curiosity was evident in her gaze, and it stirred a warm feeling within me.

"What's up?" she whispers, and I lean in slightly to speak into her ear. "Nothing... just that you're amazing," I murmur with a small smile on my lips.

Jenna's cheeks colored slightly in response, a mixture of surprise and happiness. She turned her attention back to the movie but couldn't hide the subtle smile that graced her lips.

"Wow..." Emma whispers, impressed by the tension in the movie as Tara is repeatedly stabbed by Ghostface.

My eyes shift to the floor, noticing a slight movement beside me. I bite my lower lip, excited, as I see Jenna's pinky finger brushing against mine, giving me a quick touch. An involuntary sigh escapes my lips, and I reciprocate the gesture with tenderness.

Jenna smiles genuinely without taking her eyes off the movie, and slowly, she places her hand on top of mine, caressing it with her thumb. In response, I turn my hand and interlace my fingers with hers, feeling a comforting warmth that makes me smile even more.

The atmosphere in the room is charged with suspense, but that small contact between Jenna and me creates a moment of sweet intimacy, uniting our emotions and making the night even more special. The movie continues, but we get lost in that silent bond that grows stronger and more comforting than any fear suggested on the screen.

As the movies begin to play on the screen, I find myself sitting next to Jenna, and the warmth of her body next to mine makes me feel secure, as if everything is in its right place. Despite the initial excitement, I let myself be enveloped by the magic of the moment, knowing that the journey ahead will be faced together, with the support of the people we care about.

[gingiesworld]

Obsessions (4/?)

Wanda Maximoff x Rogers Fem Reader

Warnings: Angst. Smut.

Taglist: @sytoran @ginnsbaker @lifespectator @gb12d @natashamaximoff-69 @wizardofstories

18+ MINORS DNI

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 5 / Part 6

Y/N

I know this is completely stupid of me to write this apology instead of saying it to your face, but I hate who I am, who I've become. I broke my promise to you, many promises, silent and spoken. Hell, I don't even know who I am anymore. I have become someone who I don't even recognise because I wanted to be a part of the in crowd. I guess I was lying to myself and everyone and you especially.

I love you Y/N. I guess on some level I have always known about my feelings for you and I was scared. I didn't know how everyone would see me so I guess I projected my insecurities onto you and I can't say sorry enough. But I guess this is a start, along with leaving NYU. I don't know what I will do, but I just want to leave you be. I guess maybe one day we can be friends again. Just maybe.

Wanda Maximoff

Y/N read over the words on the page over and over again, she couldn't believe that Wanda was too much of a coward to not 9apologise face to face. So Y/N decided to march over to the Maximoff residence, knocking abruptly. Only waiting a brief moment until Wanda opened the door.

"Why?" Y/N questioned as she held the letter in her hand. "Why couldn't you just say all of that to my face?"

"I was ashamed." Wanda answered her weakly. "I abandoned you and I am still ashamed of all of the pain and hurt I have caused."

"I don't want your self pity Wanda." Y/N sneered as they pushed her up against the wall, Wanda held in a sigh at the close proximity. "I am done with this whole facade, if you loved me like you wrote, you wouldn't have made my life a living hell in high school."

"I know." She whispered, guilt and disappointment in her eyes as she closed them slightly. Allowing a sigh to escape her as Y/N rested their head on hers.

"I needed my friend Wanda. My best friend and she abandoned me when I needed her the most." Y/N whispered as her nose brushed Wanda's. "I need you Wanda." Wanda sighed as she felt Y/N's hand on her hips. "Is it just you here?" Wanda only nodded before Y/N kissed her roughly. Her tongue pushing passed Wanda's lips, causing her to let out a shaky moan. Y/N had let go of the letter as they lifted Wanda up and led her to her bedroom. Ridding her of her clothes and leaving her bare and vulnerable.

"I am going to ruin you." Y/N snarled as she hovered over her, taking her ear between her teeth before she squeezed Wanda's breast harshly, pinching and pulling at her nipple as she sucked and bit the other. Wanda's moans filled the room as Y/N soon slammed her fingers into Wanda's gaping hole. She let out a loud whimper as Y/N thrusted at a fast pace, Wanda's hands gripping the sheets tightly as she could feel herself reaching the edge.

"Why?" She whined when Y/N pulled her fingers away.

"Have you cum since the last time I edged you?" Y/N questioned as Wanda shook her head.

"Nothing could do it for me." Wanda admitted breathlessly. "No one else could do it for me."

"Beg for it." Y/N sneered as Wanda looked to the side. "Beg to cum." Y/N gripped Wanda's jaw, forcing her to look at her. "Beg."

"Please. I need it. I need you Y/N." Wanda pleaded as Y/N smirked, her other finger brushing along the inside of her thigh. "Please make me cum. Please."

Wanda was soon unexpectedly full as Y/N slammed three fingers in her soaked and aching core. Her body arching as Y/N added another finger, curling her fingers and grazing her g spot.

"Cum." Y/N ordered before Wanda fell over the edge, squirting all over her bed as Y/N kept on rubbing her clit. Mesmerised by the face of euphoric pleasure on Wanda's face.

That was the start of it, Y/N would take Wanda in the restroom at the diner, her own bed, even as her family was home. Y/N was driving around in her car when she came across Wanda who was walking home.

"Get in." Y/N told her as she pulled up beside her, Wanda had done as she was told and got in the passenger seat. Watching as Y/N drove in silence. Harshly squeezing Wanda's thigh as she drove to the overlook, the place where everyone goes to have sex or get high.

"Why are we here?" Wanda questioned as Y/N undone her leather jacket.

"Strip." Y/N ordered her as she removed her own clothes. Wanda moaned as she felt Y/N's hand between her bare thighs, their clothes scattered along the backseat as Wanda rode Y/N.

"I need more." Wanda whimpered as Y/N smirked.

"Work for it." Y/N sneered as she moved forward to bite her nipple, causing Wanda to inhale sharply. "Make yourself cum all over my cock." Wanda whimpered as Y/N's hands snaked her waist, subconsciously helping her movements.

"Fuck." Wanda bit her lip harshly as Y/N met her thrusts, enjoying the view of Wanda's breasts bouncing up and down as she reached her own high. Collapsing on Y/N who was fast enough to move her from their lap and back into the passenger seat. Wanda watched as Y/N got dressed again before handing Wanda her own clothes.

"What does this mean for us?" Wanda questioned as Y/N sucked in air through her teeth as she started the car.

"It means nothing to us." Y/N told her firmly. "There is no us."

"I'm seeing a therapist." Wanda told her confidently. "I'm trying to get myself better for you. For us."

"It's too fucking late Wanda!!" Y/N yelled as they remained at the overlook. "You abandoned me. You made my life hell. You left me to be the popular girl you have always craved to be. Wanting to hang with the fakes and the jocks while I was the one who made you feel welcome when you moved here."

"I'm sorry." Wanda whispered as Y/N started to drive.

"It's too little too late now Wanda." Y/N spat as she drove her home, the rest of the journey was spent in silence before Y/N had pulled up. "Go home Wanda. It's done. Whatever this is."

Wanda only nodded as she left the car, heading inside as her eyes stung with unshed tears. As the weeks went by, she noticed that Peggy was packing up the house, Y/N was helping with moving her own things into the Impala as Peggy had a sad look on her face. That was the last she saw of Y/N and Peggy in person. Only hearing from her mom that Peggy had moved back to England. Which left Y/N to move into her own apartment, only 30 minutes away from NYU.

Wanda found herself following Y/N on instagram, making a fake account as she looked at most of the pictures Y/N had posted. A lot of them seemed to be pictures of her art work, but one that really played on Wanda's heart strings, was Y/N and Christine Palmer, kissing as Y/N wrapped her arms around the red heads waist. The caption below reads, '6 month anniversary. I couldn't be happier and I can't wait to spend many more months and years with you.'

Wanda's heart broke, looking through other pictures of the two, seeing them smile lovingly at each other. Even a selfie as the two lay in bed, the covers only covering just above their bare chests.

Wanda knew in that moment that she had lost her chance with Y/N, but she refused to let her go.

[daydreams-after-dark]

What's your fanfic fantasy? part 11

Chapter Contents.

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7 // Part 8 // Part 9 // Part 10 // Part 11 // Part 12 // Part 13 // Part 14 //

Premise: fem reader + Chan + Jisung 18+ fanfic. This is an AU story about Chan bringing your fantasies to life... but what happens when boyfriends Chan and Han fall in love with you?

Chapter Summary: Bath time with Chan

Warnings: bath sex, choking, dirty talk, sore vagina, pain kink? just more chan and y/n :-)

Chan pov.

Chan leaves you laying in bed while he goes to draw you a bath. Jisung had wanted the room with the biggest bathroom. “The one with the humongous tub.” He’d said to Chan. He smiles to himself as he pours some bubble bath under the running tap and the scent of strawberries fills the air. Jisung loves sweet bubble bath, sweet body wash and, even sweet candles. Right, candles. Chan hurries himself to light the numerous candles that had been placed on every surface of the bathroom. Anyone would think it's a homewares and gift store with the excessive number of them scattered around the room.

“Wow this looks romantic.” Chan turns to find you leaning on the door frame to the bathroom. His breath hitches when he sees your beautiful naked form.

Chan clears his throat “It’s all Jisung.” He shrugs. “He’s a bit of a sucker for this sort of thing.”

“What? Sickly sweet smells, or romance?” you muse.

“Both!” he looks down at the expanding bubbles. “Sorry, it’s the only bubble bath we have.”

“It’s perfect, Chan.” You slink closer to perch on the side of the tub.

Once the tub has finished filling, Chan climbs in and gestures for you to come sit between his legs, leaning your back against his chest.

It reminds him of the previous day when you were laying with him on the bed while you were blindfolded. He’d wanted to touch you so badly then, but he was grateful for the small amount of contact you had shared. Until he fucked your face that is.

“Y/n?” he says, breaking the silence that had fallen between you.

“Mmm hmm?” You nestle into him more. You look so sexy surrounded by bubbles.

“W-when… we were with Minho…” he sighs nervously “I didn’t hurt you when I… you know?”

You reach for Chan’s hands that had been resting on your stomach. “Channie,” you soothe. “I loved what you did to me…” You guide his hands to cup your plump breasts that are bobbing just above the water level.

“Promise?” Chan prods for more reassurance.

“Fuck yes.” You reply with a hint of frustration.

Fuck, he must have sound so insecure and needy. It isn't like him to be like this, even with Jisung.

“Chan, touch me like you wanted to on the bed, when we were waiting for Minho.” You demand softly.

Chan’s dick hardens immediately just at the thought of what he’d wanted to do. Silently, Chan begins to massage your swollen breasts, eliciting a low moan from you. Your nipples are perfectly pink and hard between his thumb and forefinger. He pinches one of them extra hard so he can see you squirm, and he chuckles silently to himself.

“More, Chan… please.” You are loving every moment of this as much as he is. You writhe against him, desperately, your body begging him to touch you more.

He slides one hand down your stomach, his palm gliding against your wet skin, and stops when his fingers find your pussy.

“Spread your legs for me, baby. I need access.” He instructs gruffly. “Yes, that’s it. Good girl.” His fingers part your lips. They are so swollen and engorged that he isn't sure if it's really a good idea to be doing this. But your reactions and encouragement spur him on.

Chan’s other hand wanders up to grasp your neck. He has never had the desire to squeeze someone’s neck before. Not until he had found himself with his had around yours the previous day. You were unlocking urges in him that he didn’t know he had. He nuzzles his face into your shoulder while he grips your slender neck just a fraction tighter, but not enough to actually restrict your airway.

You gasp and let your head loll back, giving him more access. You part your mouth and start to grind against his erection, as he massages your clit. She likes this.

“Ch-chan?” You whimpered.

“Yes baby. Is this okay?”

You pause. Chan releases his grip slightly worried it's too much.

“Choke me… more.” You say finally.

Something inside Chan stirs and he's overcome with a sense of power and control. It has been threatening to come to the surface over the past couple of days. You are doing things to his sanity. This is different to how Jisung makes him feel. You make him want to hurt you? Jisung makes him want to protect him.

“Are you sure?” he needs to double check.

“Choke me…please.” You repeat. It sounds like you're in your own world, loose and submissive. He could probably do anything right now and you'd willingly accept it.

Chan’s hand resumes the grip on the side of your neck. His hand almost covers the entire surface if he splay his fingers slightly. Then he applies some pressure, being careful not to push too hard against your airway. You make a choked cry, but you are still breathing relatively fine because your chest is heaving with arousal.

The fingers on your clit slide down to your opening, and as he tightens his grip on your neck even more, he sinks two fingers inside of you. You arch your back off of his chest, writhing with pleasure, spasming as though you're possessed. The only thing keeping you anchored in place is his grip on your neck and his fingers in your cunt. Chan is living for it. He feels so dominating, and he loves it. He needs to be inside you again. Immediately.

With his fingers securely inside you, Chan slides you up his body to make room for his cock. “Babygirl… I know it’s hard… but I need you to guide my cock inside you.” He kisses your cheek. “Can you do that for me?” He isn't sure if you've registered his voice, but as he hoists you up by your pussy you reach down and guide his cock to your entrance. Just as he’d asked. Chan withdraws his fingers from your vagina and spread your lips apart with two fingers, allowing the head of his cock to press into you “Good girl. Yes.. Fuck.” He groans.

Chan feels his dick being gripped like a vice as he lowers you down his length. He doesn't know how you're able to accommodate his cock after so much fucking. You definitely feel swollen. It has to hurt.

He roughly circles your clit as he begins to thrust from below. His grip on your neck still strong. He bites into it with a growl. “You’re so fucking incredible. You’re so tight. I know I’m hurting you, but you take me so well. So fucking good.” He grunts as he slams up into you. “My good girl. Letting me fuck you so hard.”

You cry out underneath him, but Chan can't stop. If anything he squeezes your neck tighter, and presses harder on your clitoris as he loses all control. You are driving him absolutely insane, like some sort of animal has been unleashed inside of him. Like a wolf who has just caught his prey, and now he is devouring his catch. The knot in his stomach grows strong as he nears his high.

Chan feels you tighten around him even more, gripping his cock painfully. You are close. Your moans and whimpers growing loud and unashamed.

“That’s it. You love this don’t you? Being completely at my whim. Having me own you. Letting me fuck you how I want. Unable to move. Unable to escape. Your only option is to take what I have to give. All of me. Until I say I’m done. Even if it hurts.” He growls.

You scream as your whole body convulses. Your legs tremble, your pussy clenches, your hips grind against him, making Chan come hard against your cervix. He cries out equally as loud, then muffles his moans in your neck.

Your orgasms feel like they're lasting an eternity, before your muscles give out and you both slump back against the tub panting.

“Jesus. Fuck. I don’t know what came over me.” Chan wraps his arms around your waist and nestles his cheek against yours. He hopes to God that he wasn’t too much for you.

“Channie?” You pant.

“Yeah?” he kisses your cheek. Please say this was okay, he thinks to himself.

“That was the best orgasm of my life.” You declare.

Chan feels a pang in his chest, a mixture of love and relief washes over him. She liked it. The best of orgasm of her life. This woman really is perfect.

“Really? I’m not sure Ji would want to know that.” He teases, squeezing you lovingly.

“Well… I guess we will have to give him the best orgasm of his life in the morning then.” You reply decisively.

“Let’s plan to only have our best orgasms together… the three of us.” Chan whispers. He thinks ahead to all of the love to be made between the three of you and closes his eyes to fight back happy tears.

a/n: next up is a bit of a change of pace as we get a chapter from Minho's pov as he waits for Hyunjin to arrive at the house.

@rylea08 @channieandhisgoonsquad @noellllslut @itsseohannbin @weareapackofstrays @kangnina @3rachasdomesticbanana @palindrome969 @xxkissesforchanniexx @chuuchuu1224 @fun-fanfics @wolfennracha @rhonnie23 @jisunglyricist @strayywayy @rixenluv @piscesrising01 @lunearta @shltsnglggles @lilbabiebunni @jiminssluttyminx @armystay89 @krayzieestay @stellasays45 @hxnnielk @yaorzu-blog @anjian03 @tsunderelino @igetcarriedawaywithyou @mylittleponeypinkrosieposie @privhace @kyunchoni @writhingwrecked @kisses-too-the-moon @justforreaders @melochacco @scenuniverse @oddracha @meilix @ismokeeweed @leftovercigarettes @galaxycatdrawz

[daydreamgoddess14]

The Ties that Bind - Chapter 7 - The End

Time to say goodbye to this story. I've had the most fun writing it, I've loved Seren 🥰. I really, truly hope you've liked it too - hugest thank yous to everyone who's read it 😘. Always feel free to comment or message me or drop me an ask - literally I need no excuse whatsoever to go feral over Jack Lowden!

I am terrified about how emotionally traumatic Episode 5 is going to be so I distracted myself by finishing this off.

CH 1 | CH 2 | CH 3 | CH 4 | CH 5 | CH 6

Masterlist

Tagging: @cillmequick & @thomasshelbyswife

Chapter 7

“Hi.” Seren said quietly, a small smile on her lips. River nodded, his mouth pinched in a tight line. He turned and went straight back into the kitchen. David gave her a push of encouragement towards the door and she followed him. His hands held the edge of the countertop with a white knuckle grip, she could see his back was tense and feared the worst. Confused, she spoke quickly. “You… you don’t want me here.” She concluded. “And I stupidly assumed you knew about this, I’m sorry.” She shook her head and held up her hands. “I’ll go and he can explain to you, we can figure out a rota or something.”

“He gets forgiven and I don't?” He asked quietly. She stopped in her tracks. 

“I haven't seen or spoken to you? Let's not forget who left me in the middle of the night and no word since?” 

“You didn't want me there.”

“Yeah, at first. I'm pretty sure that changed when-” she lowered her voice to a whisper, “when I let you into my bed! Or did you get what you wanted and that's that?” She hissed. His face fell. 

“Seren, you know that's not it. I left because I didn't want you to think that you had to forgive me. I wanted you to want to.” Seren took a deep breath and rubbed her temples.

“Look this is… I don't know how we've gone wrong here, I'm pretty sure we're agreeing but,” she shrugged, “this has all got fucked up somewhere.”

“Why would you think I don't want you here?”

“I dunno, this is your world, this MI5 bullshit and now I'm here and involved… what if that's what messes everything up?” She asked. 

“No, no, it's not.” He assured her. She could see the hurt in his eyes. She stepped towards him and covered his hand with her own, matching finger to finger. 

“No more cast?” 

“All healed. Well, I need to be careful but, y'know.”

“You're back to throwing fake punches, then?”

“Ahh, no. I gave up on that.” She traced his fingers with her own. 

“Oh?”

“I do spin class now instead.”

“The one on the bike?” She nodded in reply as he turned his hand around so they were palm to palm, and interlocked their fingers. He pulled a face. “Sounds grim.” 

“I needed the distraction.” She mused. “I know you were doing your job.” 

“Yeah.”

“And that job comes with a level of secrecy.”

“Yeah.” She squeezed his hand lightly and let go.

“Ok.”

“Ok?” He looked confused. 

“Ok. I get it.”

“... And?” She smiled at the hopeful look in his eyes, rolling her own in exasperation. 

“Do I need to spell it out?” He shrugged, a smile pulling at his mouth. “You're forgiven.” She told him solemnly. He smiled widely until she held up a hand and it faltered. “But-”

“But?”

“But I have let the entire secret service into my life - they have looked into everything I've ever done. They found out about when I got three speeding tickets in the space of a week fifteen years ago. They know every job I've ever had - including the Anne Summers Saturday job I had when I was seventeen. They know I broke my ankle when I was twenty one, they know how much Netflix I watch. They know more about my life than I can even remember, River. That's… a lot.”

“It is a lot, Seren dear, and I'm eternally grateful to you.” David ambled through, not paying any attention to their proximity. “It's rather a big commitment to make to two men who've mostly pissed you off. What was it you told me before?” He wondered, “Ah yes, we sounded desperate.” 

“You did.” She remembered with a smile. “You still do - I should fill up this fridge. Poor bugger, you've been living on microwave meals.” 

“He brought that on himself.” River pointed out, purposely nudging her. 

“How ever did the Cartwright men survive?” She wondered. 

“We didn't. That's why you're here.” David declared. 

“Hmmm, yes, and I expect you both to grovel for as long as I say so,” she called after him as he went back to the sitting room. She felt River behind her, his warm breath by her ear. 

“On my knees. Every day. If that's what it takes.” He murmured, placing a large palm on her stomach and pulling her body flush with his. She trembled against him as he leaned in to bite her earlobe, unable to stifle the low moan. She quickly clamped her hand over her mouth.

“Seren? Put the kettle on, would you?” David called. River gently pulled her hand from her mouth. 

“Better answer him. He might come looking for you.” 

“You knob,” she scowled. “It's on David, I'll come and get the pot in a minute.”

“Righto,” he said cheerfully, she vaguely heard the rustle of the newspaper over the pounding of her heart. The hand River had on her stomach had slipped under her t-shirt and drew loose patterns on her skin. The front of her thighs pressed against the table and she had visions of being bent over it, lifting her hips to meet his while her fingers gripped the varnished wood and he pounded into her. The thought had her keening against him as his hand moved up to cup her breast over her bra. 

“Something you need?” He asked, his voice low in her ear. She didn't trust herself to speak, instead she arched her back and pushed herself back against his hard cock. He growled against her neck, “I could just bend you over this table?” She whimpered in agreement. “But not now.” Seren twisted in his arms and moved her legs to let him rest between them. She moaned into his mouth as his tongue slid against hers. 

“River-” She whispered as he bit along her jawline. 

“Not here. I want to hear you next time.” He looked at her intently, his eyes bright blue and dancing with mischief. Seren whined in frustration. “I want to see how many times I can get you to make that sound,” he kissed her again. “I want to hear you every time you say my name, and,” he kissed the tip of her nose, “I want to not wake up to an empty bed this time.”

“You and me both,” she breathed. 

“Are we OK?”

“I mean, aside from this still probably completely inappropriate -”

“At least I'm not the one paying you anymore.”

“Fair point, yes, we're OK.” He leaned in to kiss her again, “but-” Seren held up a finger to his lips which he promptly drew into his mouth, making her whimper. “We really should figure out what this is, because I don't want to make my working here awkward or confusing for David.” He released her finger and nodded. 

“You're the boss.” He said with a smirk.

“Not you anymore, is it?” She teased, “no more calling you ‘sir’.”

“Makes sense, I'm the one supposed to be grovelling.” 

“On your knees wasn't it?” She asked curiously, looping her arms around his neck. 

“You got it.”

“My place later?” 

“Fuck yes.” 

“Seren?” David called from the living room. Her head dropped to River's shoulder.

“Later.” He promised. 

“On my way,” she called back to David, pushing River back so she could stand up away from the table. She went to collect the teapot and check what he needed while River put the kettle on. 

*

Seren left the Cartwright’s late afternoon, saying goodbye to both of them. Only a couple of hours later, River knocked on her door. She let him in and had barely closed the door behind her before River had her backed up against it. 

“All day,” he muttered against her collarbone, “been thinking about this all fucking day.” 

“Oh god, River-” She panted as he grasped the soft flesh of her thighs. “Wait, wait, wait, I’ve just come from the gym, I’m disgusting.” She pointed out. He leaned back to look at her, hair piled into a bun on the top of her head wearing a crop top and lycra leggings.

“Don’t care,” he muttered, licking a path down her neck.

“Fuck me,” she gasped as he bit her bare shoulder.

“Yep, that’s what I -” he broke off, listening, “what’s that noise?”

“The shower. I told you, I’ve just got back from the gym.” He took her hand and led her to the bathroom where steam billowed out from the still running shower. He reached out to unzip the front of her crop top and threw it in the vague direction of her washing basket, he pulled off his own t-shirt and added it to the pile. “What are you up to?” She wondered aloud, taking off the rest of her gym kit and stepping into the hot shower. He stepped in behind her and poured vanilla scented body wash into his hands until it frothed. He stood closely behind her so she could lean against him, and rubbed the soapy water from her hands, up to her shoulders and across the other side. He held her against him as he gently washed her stomach, over her breasts and the rest of her body. She sighed contentedly.

“This ok?” He asked, his hands running over and between her thighs. She nodded and reached up to pull the hair tie from her bun. River guided them further under the water stream, his height over her giving him a direct line of sight down her body. Seren took the shampoo from the shelf and he took it from her, gently washing her hair. He took his time, she relaxed against him, his eyes were drawn to the path the droplets of water took over her skin, like memories of where his mouth had been.

“Why’re you doing this?” She questioned as his fingers kneaded through her hair. She moaned at the slight pull, he kissed her neck, acknowledging that he’d heard her response.

“You look after everyone.” He explained simply. He replaced the shampoo and picked up the conditioner, repeating the same process until Seren was dizzy with her need for him. 

They lay nose to nose in Seren’s bed, close to sleep.

“We should be careful, David put himself out there by demanding Taverner employed me. I don’t want to break his trust.”

“I know. This doesn’t have to be complicated, maybe we should just enjoy the distraction. Keep it simple.” He rolled onto his back and pulled her with him. He felt her nod in agreement.

“Yeah. Keep it simple.”

“I want you to be able to walk away from this one day. You don’t want MI5 in your life forever.” He reasoned, half asleep. Seren stayed quiet. His breathing evened out and the hand that brushed up and down her bare back fell still.

“What if I do?” She whispered to the darkness.

*

Seren was on her way to David's when the phone rang through the car. 

“Ms Harrison?” Her stomach dropped to her feet, it didn't sound like Taverner fortunately, so her mind immediately went to the next worst case scenario - Mags in the care home. 

“Yes, that's me?”

“I'm calling from Medway hospital, we have David Cartwright here - you're listed as one of his emergency contacts?”

“David? Oh, god. Yes, yes I'm his home help, I'm on my way there now, what's happened?” She came to a set of lights and did a u-turn.

“You're not live in?”

“No, we didn't think he needed that just yet.”

“It's not too serious, he's had a fall and managed to get to his panic button. The ambulance brought him in about half an hour ago.”

“Ok, have you called his other emergency contact?”

“Not yet -”

“I will. I'll do it. I'll be there in five minutes.” Seren hung up and flicked her eyes to her dash display to select River's name.

“I was just thinking about you,” he answered before she could get a word in. 

“He's had a fall. I'm on my way to the hospital,” she interrupted quickly. 

“Shit, ok, I'm on my way.”

“They said it wasn't serious but-” her voice cracked. 

“It’s going to be fine, I'll be there as soon as I can.”

“I'll call you when I know more.” He hung up first, she could hear muttered swearing as the handset moved from his ear so he could end the call. After hastily abandoning her car in the first space she saw, she raced to the reception desk. “David Cartwright, please? Came in an ambulance, I was just speaking with someone?” The computer keyboard clicked as the receptionist tapped her manicured fingers on the keys.

“Ahh yes, he's on the Acute Medical unit, Lister Ward, follow signs for Red 3. You're going behind me, turn left and up the stairs.”

“Thanks!” Seren ran toward the stairs to the next reception desk where she repeated who she was. A nurse led her down the brightly lit corridor to a small ward of 4 beds. In the far corner by the window was David. She rushed for the bed, managing to stop and slow down as she reached the end of the bed. “David,” she whispered, her eyes filling with tears. She went to his bedside and took his hand carefully, taking note of the cannula in the back. She followed the tubes up to an IV bag. His hand felt small and weightless in hers, the skin paper thin and cool to touch. 

“You've cold hands, dear girl.” He said hoarsely. She closed her eyes in relief at the sound of his voice. 

“Cold hands, warm heart.” She told him, reaching her other hand out to brush his hair from his eyes. “What have you been up to? Silly man.”

“Thought I'd get the kettle on for us, came a cropper on the stairs.” She tsked him lightly with click of her tongue. 

“Shit, I need to tell River you're OK, he's bombing down the motorway,” she picked up her phone and found his number. “He's OK, awake and talking to me. I just need to find a nurse for an update. Lister ward, Red zone 3.” She told him quietly. River arrived as the nurse did. They all listened patiently as she explained that aside from some bruises from the fall, he was perfectly fine but they did want to keep him in for a few days as a precaution. Once the nurse had left, River was able to reach to embrace David. He could only watch Seren but he could see she was itching to be closer to him. 

“You allowed a coffee old man?”

“I bloody better be, I shall discharge myself if not.” He declared. 

“Seren?”

“Yeah, I'll pop to the bathroom and help you bring them back. Won't be long, no causing trouble,” she warned David. In the safety of the corridor, away from the doorway to the ward, River pulled Seren into his arms. 

“You ok?”

“Silly bugger scared the shit out of me, I think I got flashed I got here so fast.” She grumbled, taking a deep inhale of the soap from her bathroom mixed with his own scent. He kissed the top of her head and then lifted her chin to kiss her properly, more intimately than she'd expected in public. The nurse who'd spoken to them blushed as she manned the reception desk. 

“C'mon, let's get his coffee, I only got you out here so I could kiss you.” He reluctantly let her go and went to push coins into the machine.

“You don't have to stick around here all day, you know?” David told her, “someone else is babysitting, go and enjoy yourself.” Seren looked torn. 

“I mean it. And you, shouldn't you be back in London? I certainly don't need both of you here.” He turned his attention to River. 

“I could go and visit Maggie,” Seren wondered aloud.

“Go,” David smiled. “Do go, dear girl. I'm fine, really.” River watched the guilt gnawing at her, that she hadn't been there early enough in the morning to have prevented the fall. Despite what the nurse had said, the worry was still etched in her face. 

“You should go, I'll stay here.”

“No you won't, I already told you, back to work.” River grimaced. “Go on, off you go.”

“Ok, if you insist?” Seren stood up and helped him get more comfortable in the bed, smoothing out the blanket, pouring more water for him and getting the newspaper from her bag along with a pen. “I'll be back later this evening, call me if you want me to bring anything else?” River watched, awed by their bond, the shorthand in their conversation and Seren's clear love for his grandfather. She kissed his forehead and gave him a winning smile, disguising the worry. “Be good for the nurses.” 

“I'll walk out with you, if you're sure grandad?”

“I am indeed, leave me in peace with my crossword.” River gave his hand a squeeze and gestured for Seren to go ahead of him. She turned at the door to wave at David. 

“So… going to work?” She asked once they were in the corridor. 

“No way, I'm going wherever you're going.”

“Oh you are, are you? To visit Maggie then?”

“Lead the way. We can drop your car off at the house and I'll drive?”

“Something wrong with my car?”

“Apart from the music choices?” She arched an eyebrow, 

“Tread carefully, Cartwright.”

“3 speeding tickets in one week, you got flashed this morning, it sounds like the wheels are about to drop off… anything else? Is your engine light on this week?” She scowled. 

“Not this week, no. I did do a probably illegal u-turn this morning though.” 

“Probably illegal?” He teased, slinging an arm around her as they left the hospital. 

*

“Seren, darling!” Mags called across the sunroom of the care home the second she came into view. Seren let the older woman pull her into a bear hug deceptively strong for someone in their eighties. 

“Hello Mags. God, I've missed you.” Seren squeezed tighter until Maggie clocked River standing further back. 

“Oh! You've brought your handsome man with you!”

“My friend, Mags. River is my friend.” 

“Well friendship suits you dearie, you certainly never looked this happy when you were my friend.” Maggie said slyly. 

“What's all this ‘was’ your friend, I am your friend you daft old bat.” 

“Cheeky, I can have you kicked out. Leave the man behind though.”

“No chance. How've you been?”

“Sit, sit, both of you. Are the girls getting some tea? I'm not too bad,” she flapped. “Service could be better,” she grumbled, looking around for a member of staff. 

“I'm fine, really good. You look well?” River sat down next to Seren but held back as the women talked, only being drawn when Maggie insisted. Seren's relationship with Maggie was similar to the one she had with David, she loved them and cared for them as if they were her own grandparents. He found himself lost in a near future where David wasn't around any longer. Found himself wondering and then what? It hadn't occurred to him that one day, his only relationship with someone outside of work would no longer be there. He would essentially be alone. He missed what Seren said as she stood up and brushed his shoulder as she left the room, but Maggie soon dragged him back into the conversation. 

“You're very quiet darling. I'm sure he'll be just fine.” River frowned. “Your grandfather? Seren said you've both come from the hospital this morning?”

“Sorry, yes. Yeah I'm sure he'll be OK.”

“But you're not?” She mused. “Out with it, before she gets back?”

“He's all I've got. It just occurred to me that he's all I've got apart from a few colleagues I'm not sure I'd call friends.” His brow furrowed again. 

“You've got her,” she nodded over at Seren who was laughing with one of the staff members. Her smile was radiant. He shook his head. 

“We decided to keep it simple, nothing serious.” Maggie's chuckle turned into a cough. 

“If you say so, love.” Seren came back over and Maggie fell silent.

“Apparently they're about to take you through for afternoon tea, so we'll head out.”

“Wonderful to see you. Bring cake next time, theirs is shite.” 

“Love you, Mags. Be good.” Seren gave her a hug and once she was released, Maggie ordered River over. 

“Don't be a fool, young man,” she muttered quietly. “Lovely to see you both, off you pop now.” As they left the room with Maggie watching, Seren slipped her hand into his and squeezed. 

“Everything alright?” She asked, her voice laced with concern. He nodded. 

“Yeah, yeah fine.” She didn't look entirely convinced, but let it go. “I, uhh, I'm going to head back to London if you don't mind?” Seren shook her head slowly.

“Sure, ok. I'll get my car and go back to the hospital for an hour.” They drove back to David's in near silence with Seren trying to understand what had happened over the previous couple of hours to have caused River to retreat into himself so much. “I'll call you later?” She asked, confused and a little hurt.

“Yeah, let me know if he needs anything. Otherwise I'll be back in a couple of days when he's ready to be discharged.” Seren nodded, her smile tight. She got straight into her car and decided to head straight to the hospital, not wanting to be alone. 

River made it one junction up the motorway back to London before turning around and going to Seren's house. She arrived home to find him sitting on the doorstep. She stopped suddenly, almost falling over him. 

“Oh shit!” She yelped, “you scared me half to death. What are you doing here, I thought you were going home?” He got to his feet and moved aside so she could unlock the door. She pushed it open and let him through first. “River? I thought you were going home?”

“I did. I am.” He said softly. Seren frowned a little, unsure of his meaning. 

“Ok,” she said gently, “ok. Let's get some food, you must be freezing.” He followed her to the kitchen where he sat at the table while she pottered around cooking. “David's doing fine, I think they'll probably let him out tomorrow. There's no reason to keep him in and they need the bed space.” She chatted to him, filling the silence. “I know you must be worried, but he's honestly alright. I'm sure the nurses are sick of him already. He was struggling to remember who I was, but I think it's the unfamiliar surroundings. I spent two hours with him telling me about his wonderful grandson, and then as I was getting ready to leave, he recognised me.” He moved to stand behind her, his chin on her shoulder and arms looped around her waist. She turned a little to offer him a spoonful of the rich tomato sauce she'd made. He nodded his approval and kissed her lightly, feeling her relax in his arms. His silence had made her tense, he realised. “You know you can talk to me about anything?” She hesitated, not wanting to overstep. 

“Yeah.” She didn't push any further but handed him a plate of pasta. “I always thought he was invincible.” He admitted sadly. She held her breath, waiting for him to go on. “Having you here, he was doing so much better. I thought he'd be here forever.”

“He's still here,” she reminded him, taking his hand. 

“And when he's not? Then what?” She shook her head.

“I don't know,” she confessed. She pushed the food around her plate, her appetite gone. “He talks about you constantly,” she started. “All the bloody time, even when he's lost in the past. He loves you so much, River.” 

“I can count on one hand the number of times he’s said it.” He mumbled, trying to recall the last time he heard it from anyone. His grandmother, Rose, before she'd died most likely. When he looked up from the table to see Seren watching him, he expected to see pity in her eyes, but there was none. 

“Earlier,” she took a deep breath, “when I said I thought you were going home? You said you are.” She paused, halfway between wanting and not wanting an answer to the question hanging in the air. “What did you mean?” 

“I love you.” He said softly, realising that he hadn't said the words since his grandmother had died, let alone heard them. “I've spent all day wondering what will happen when he's gone, when I'm alone, where home is. But I shouldn't have, because I'm not alone.” She shook her head, the movement spilling tears down her cheeks.

“No, you're not.” She moved from her seat at the table and onto his lap, holding his face in her hands. “You're not alone, I love you.” She kissed him, her hands leaving his face to run through his hair. “God, you're such a fucking moron.” He laughed into her neck. 

“When I saw how much you care for him, and for Maggie… She told me. She said I'd got you too. I know I said we should just be able to walk away, no hard feelings, but I don't want that.”

“You've always had me, I'm not going anywhere.” She sighed, heavy with relief and finally relaxing into him. “We do need to work out what to tell him though?” He kissed her shoulder. 

“Mmm. Give me tonight, that's tomorrow's problem.”

*

“Watch your step,” Seren warned, holding David's elbow as he lifted himself out of River’s car. River came round from the driver’s side to take his other arm but was swiftly batted away. Seren bit her lip to disguise the smile.

“Watch my bloody step,” he grumbled. “You watch out, I can still tell Taverner I’ve had enough of you too.”

“Ahh but then she’ll send back Pete who can’t play chess.” River told him.

“Is he the one who drank IPA? Disgusting stuff. I couldn’t even get him to fetch me a decent bottle of scotch. Over my dead body will he be back.” David complained.

“I’m sure he wasn’t that bad.” Seren reasoned as River went ahead of them to unlock the door.

“He was.” They stepped over the threshold together, “and he couldn’t make coffee and walnut cake.” David beamed at the sight of the cake in the centre of the table.

“God, what a crime. Looks like you did the right thing getting me back.” Seren guided him to the sitting room. “Are you feeling ok?”

“I’m not breakable, dear. I’m fine. They let me out didn’t they?”

“Yeah cos they were sick of you.” River muttered under his breath so only Seren could hear, disguising her laugh with a cough.

“I heard that young man. Seren, would you cut that cake please?”

“No problem, tea?”

“Excellent.” He settled back in his armchair, making himself comfortable. In the kitchen, Seren set a tray with cake plates and mugs. She drifted towards River as he came in.

“S’good to have him back here.” She smiled. He took her hand and pulled her away from the tray and into his arms. 

“Yeah it is. Means I shouldn’t be kissing you in the kitchen anymore though,” he grumbled. She leaned up on tiptoes and grazed her lips against his.

“As if that stopped you before.” She challenged. 

“Put her down River, goodness me I may as well look after myself if you’re going to distract her constantly.” David chided from the doorway. Seren sprung from River’s arms, blushing furiously.

“Shit, David, I’m so sorry. I-”

“No need to be sorry, dear. Did you really think I didn’t know? I may be losing my mind but I’m certain my eyesight is perfectly fine. I did tell you, he was bound to have his head turned by a pretty girl. I’m just glad it’s you.” Seren’s mouth formed a perfect O shape. “Just getting a pen for the crossword, I’ll leave you both to it.” He wandered back to the sitting room. “Wouldn’t say no to that cake, though?” He shouted.

FIN

[black-dragon1998]

Lone Wolf chapter 11

Summary: the story continues

Author note: First I want to apologize it took so long for me to post the next chapter for lone wolf. After that, I want to thank everyone who has sent me comments and kudos for my writing. I haven’t forgotten this story, writing has just been difficult the last couple of months.

previous chapters: part 1- part 2- part 3- part 4- part 5- part 6- part 7- part 8 - part 9- part 10

“What! Gives you the right to touch my daughter!” you were livid. How dare this boy touch your daughter. Madi in general had a hard time with being touched. The only people who were allowed to touch her freely, were you, Lexa, Clarke and Anya. From time to time Indra, but that was only when Madi instigates it. So who did this piece of shit think he was for giving Madi a panic attack.

At this point, you were really starting to regret coming to the Skaikru. Would Clarke be really upset if you cut this guy's throat? Probably. Pushing aside the murderous intent you were feeling you turned toward Madi who was still protected by Dina. Madi who was still sobbing uncontrollably. You throw the sword in your hand to the side and crouch down so you are at eye level with your daughter. Dina steps away from the two of you and keeps the rest away.

When Madi spots you through tear-filled eyes, she looks you straight in the eyes but doesn’t move to get closer to you.

“hey, peanut.” You say in a voice you only reserve for your daughter. The little girl is so attuned to the sound that she is already calming down.

“Mama?”

“Yes baby, it is Mama. Are you feeling big emotions?” you knew she was but this made it easier for Madi to work through it. Madi gave you a small nod.

“is the feeling going away?” most of the time the emotions Madi was feeling would pass on their own. When Madi shook her head, you gave her a reassuring smile.

“that is okay. I am here and we are getting through this together. Can I touch you?” with speed almost too fast for a human, Madi was in your arms. She pressed her head against your chest to feel your steady heartbeat. The sound helped in calming her down.

“alright baby, can you tell me five things you see?” your voice is just about a whisper but Madi could hear you just fine.

Clarke and Lexa were wrapping up their meeting. Things had gone smoother than hoped and resulted in the two being able to meet (Y/N) and Madi for lunch. Clarke was putting away the last of the documents when one of the guards sprinted into the tent. The markings on their arms told them that they were on (Y/N) personal guard. Lexa was aware of the guards (Y/N) had put on both her and Clarke.

“Heda! Permission to speak.” The guard asked. Like all your subordinates they had discipline.

“speak soldier,” Lexa said in her heda voice.

“Heda, Wanheda, both of you are needed at the training grounds. One of the Skaikru boys tried to touch the princess. Causing her to have a panic attack and the general to lash out at the boy. Some of the females with the boy are afraid of an escalation.” The guard spoke so fast that Clarke and Lexa almost didn’t catch all of it. The moment Clarke heard Madi was involved she started walking toward the training ground, not listening to Lexa who was calling after her.

Lexa took a moment to collect herself and thanked the guard, before going after her wife-turned-mamabear. She already felled sorry for whoever stood in her way.

Clarke was at the training grounds in no time. There she saw the Gona from a circle around you, Raven, Octavia, Lincoln and Bellamy. Dina was standing close to you ready to react to any situation. You were cradling Madi to your chest, trying to console the sobbing toddler.

Madi didn’t seem to be injured, neither did you. Bellamy on the other hand was sporting a big red line around his neck. Steeling herself Clarke stepped forward to make her presence known. Bellamy was the first to approach her, like a kid rating out somebody to the teacher. You however stayed where you were, cuddling Madi close to your chest.

Instead of listening to Bellamy rambling Clarke made her way toward you and Madi. Laying a comforting hand on Madi’s back.

“Maid sweetheart, look who is here.” You whisper in your daughter's ear. Locking eyes with Clarke, conveying that it was a bad one. Very slowly Madi lifted her head from your shoulder and looked behind her. When she spotted her mommy, she started reaching out for her and you quickly handed her over to Clarke so she could soak in her mommy’s scent. The toddler sagged into the blond's hold immediately.

For some reason, Clarke’s and Lexa’s scents had always a calming effect on you and Madi.

“hey love, somebody told me you were cuddling with Mama. Mind if I join?” Clarke spoke in a tender tone, to not set Madi off again. That had happened in the past when she was overwhelmed too soon.

“Mama helped. Big emotions. Counted. Calmed.” Madi’s sentences were cut short, telling Clarke she hadn’t down completely.

“oh! You and Mama did the counting. Did it help?” Clarke was relieved when Madi nodded into her chest. While Clarke was talking to Madi you had positioned yourself in front of them with crossed arms and a death stare levelling Bellamy, who was trying to get closer.

“what made you feel the big emotions? Can you tell Mommy?”

“Man touched me,” Madi said burring her face back into Clarke’s chest.

“what man sweety?” Clarke Cöed as to not set her off again. without looking Madi pointed a finger toward Bellamy, who was trying to push past (Y/N). (Y/N) however, wasn’t bunching an inch. In the meantime, Raven and Octavia tried to pull Bellamy back.

“let me pass! I have to talk to Clarke.” He tried to sound intimidating, hoping you would let him pass.

“you upset my daughter, do you really think I’m just going to let you near her? No way in hell! If Clarke wants to talk to you she will come over here. Until then back off!” your voice was nothing more than a growl.

Clarke really had hoped Bellamy wasn’t involved. You already didn’t like him and this wasn’t helping. She could only hope to settle your mood before things escalated. Clarke still remembered the last time somebody touched Madi without permission. It was a warrior from Azgeda. He had quickly lost his hand and head. Then she hadn’t batted an eye at it. She hoped it didn’t turn into a brawl. You would level Bellamy with no problem, the only question was when you would stop once you started.

Clarke walked with Madi still clinging to her chest but stayed a couple of feet behind. Hoping this was enough distance for Madi. You immediately sensed Clarke come up behind you, turning partly around so you can look at her and Madi, still preventing Bellamy from getting closer. Clarke knew her next words would be hard for their friends but she had to think about her daughter and wife first. She could talk to her friends later, but first, she had to defuse the situation.

“I think all of you should return to camp until things have calmed down,” Clarke said while looking at her friends. Raven and Octavia seemed to understand, Lincoln respected the words of his kwin. They also knew that if they stayed longer and Bellamy did something stupid, they would be putting Clarke on the spot. Bellamy however started immediately pushing against you to get to Clarke.

“Clarke! Please listen to me. I didn’t mean to do this.”

“Back off!” you got into the shaggy-haired boy's face and pushed him back.

“you come here, make my daughter cry and now you dare to make demands toward our kwin. I should skin you alive for that.” This finally makes Bellamy back down with a loud gulp.

“General!” there was an edge to Clarke’s voice that told you you were getting onto thin ice. It made you back down just a little. The last thing you wanted to do was upset your wife.

“we will leave for now,” Raven said, pulling Bellamy back toward the camp. Leaving you and your family as the only ones in the training ground. The gona had scattered already, knowing nothing good came from upsetting their kwin when she was in mama-bear mode.

Lexa arrived at the exact moment the Skaikru left. You had turned around to look at Clarke. The blond looked anything but happy. Believing it to be best for you and Clarke to talk about whatever the issue was. So Lexa took Madi from Clarke's arms and retreated toward the tent.

“let’s go Madi. Mommy and Mama need to talk.”

“mad?” Madi asked.

“don’t know bug. Why don’t we go find something to eat and wait for them?”

“What the hell is wrong with you? You could have taken Bellamy’s head off today.” Clarke exploded the moment Madi and Lexa were gone. Now that everything had sunken in, Clarke had gotten angry with you. Her reaction made your anger surface again. why was she angry with you?

“He upset Madi. I just reacted on instinct.” You say between clenched teeth, not wanting to snap at Clarke.

“That was an over-the-top reaction. Bellamy didn’t know Madi would react like that.” Clarke counters, while stepping close to you. Like she wanted another response from you. At this point, you had a hard time not glaring at your wife.

“If it had been anybody else but that Skaikru boy we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

“ you went too far. You acted like a sa…” Clarke seemed to catch herself at the last moment, but you knew what she was going to say. You had heard it often enough. The dark part in you that you had suppressed for so long reared its ugly head and you could feel your emotions freeze. Looming over Clarke you glared at her.

“say it.” A moment passed and it stayed quiet.

“say it!” the ringing of your voice surprised Clarke. She had never seen you like this.

“Savage.” The word was nothing more than a whisper but you could hear her loud and clear. Did your wife really think of you like that? You could stand for everybody else thinking you were a monster but not your family.

“maybe Clarke I am nothing more than a savage beast, pretending to be something else.” With that, you walked away and into the woods, leaving Clarke alone.

The moment you left a pang rang through Clarke. What had she done, she had never seen you so cold toward her before. When Clarke finally turned around she, you were gone.

part 12

Taglist

@trikruismybitch

@fayhar

@scruffyumbreon

@nocturnal-ace

@poison-blackheart

[artsyhamster]

And we've reached the end! I cannot believe we made it but here are the final four. :)

You know the drill by now, explanations and ramblings underneath the cut :D

(1) THE FOOL / THE MAGICIAN / THE HIGH PRIESTESS |

(2) THE EMPRESS / THE EMPEROR / THE HIEROPHANT |

(3) THE LOVERS / THE CHARIOT / STRENGTH |

(4) THE HERMIT / WHEEL OF FORTUNE / JUSTICE |

(5) THE HANGED MAND | DEATH | TEMPERANCE |

(6) THE DEVIL / THE TOWER / THE STAR |

(7) THE MOON / THE SUN / JUDGEMENT / THE WORLD

THE MOON - As I mentioned in the previous set, I had The Star and The Moon exchanged at first. Colorwise I found the Balcony Smoker to be more fitting but descriptionwise.... "[The fool's] bliss (...) makes him vulnerable to the illusions of the Moon" fit Klaasje more. I feel like Harry related to her on a level and of course was drawn to her beauty, and fell for her deception. Or well at least I did lol. Although I don't even want to call it deception, more like...obfuscation in self-defense. Klaasje on the rooftop staring at a moon seemed like a nice visual image too.

THE SUN - I had. So much trouble. Filling this role. Since The sun stands for everything warm and joyous. "It enlightens, so the Fool both feels and understands the goodness of the world." And it's pretty hard to find something joyous in Revachol. I almost chose Ruby just for the orange aesthetics and the sort of... enlightenment. But considering she might shoot herself in the head, I refused to put her in the role of the sun. I wanted to save the Insulidan phasmid for THE WORLD at first, but I am damn happy I let go of that thought. Especially since the story starts and begins with the fool anyway. SO YEAH. I love this stick bug.... I cannot describe it. After you go through this whole bleak game, filled with death, misery, failure and coldness you find this...walking wonder. And the soundtrack to this encapsulates it so well, too. The phasmid scene always fills me with so much happiness T_T

JUDGEMENT - Also one of the the cards that were pretty clear to me from the beginning. Trant looks pretty menacing here but I love it lol. I added a small Harry, because under the judging eyes of his colleagues, everyone would feel small. "The Fool has been reborn. His false, ego-self has been shed, allowing his radiant, true self to manifest." The radiance is debatable, but Harry definitely went through a lot of development in the past few days and hopefully he came out a better person. He isn't absolved of his past mistakes and further judged on those, rather he is judged on the things he did right. And I don't know, what I like about Harry in general is that he is an absolute fuckup but if you give a person the right support and faith in them to be better, they can. If you keep reminding people only of the things they've done wrong, you are taking their room to grow, by defining them as an irredeemable failure.

THE WORLD - "The Fool reenters the World, but this time with a more complete understanding. He has integrated all the disparate parts of himself and achieved wholeness. He has reached a new level of happiness and fulfillment." Well, what can I say. Our fool Harry started this journey full of ignorance but he opened his eyes to the mistakes of the past and learned from them, and is now hopefully ready to tackle life anew. And I love the last sentence of The Fool's story: This cycle is over, but, the Fool will never stop growing. Soon he will be ready to begin a new journey that will lead him to ever greater levels of understanding. While this chapter of his life is over, there'll be new stories to be told. Setbacks and more opportunities to grow, and only time will tell where his journey will lead him this time.

Thanks to everyone who followed me and Harry on this journey and read through my ramblings. Also thanks for all the lovely tags & comments, it was an absolute pleasure reading through these. <3 Much Love!

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

my favorite scully moments from s3

walking to her mother’s house barefoot in episode 1, after having been placed on leave for her involvement in the quest to smuggle secret alien files- how she falls into her mother’s arms, says she made a terrible mistake, and that dad would be so ashamed of her (my heart melted out of my body… she did the right thing and still doubted herself 🙁)

and then even AFTER she was removed from her job, she visits skinner’s office with information on the case- when he suggests she’s just trying to get her job back, she is indignant and explains that it is about finding answers and saving her friend (she had AN INTENSE fury in her eyes that skinner would suggest that, i love when she is filled with righteous rage and driven by the quest to Do The Morally Right Thing no matter what)

attending mr. mulder’s funeral, and telling mrs. mulder she knows her son with be found, even if she isn't sure why she holds that belief

and this is STILL in episode one, but when she is convinced skinner is trying to kill her and she is NOT playing around, holding him at gunpoint- “don’t think i won’t do it, you son of a bitch”, she says, to which he replies “no, i believe you” (he knew he was in danger!!)

they need to know a certain number- napier’s constant- in episode 2 to get into the secret disease center in west virgina, and she knows it off the top of her head (it’s 27,828 for those who are curious) (when she knows random facts my heart skips some beats)

and in the same episode, when they’re about to embark on learning some dark secrets on mulder’s father in the disease center archives, scully wants to know if he will be okay, because “i just know how it would affect me” (she is so thoughtful...)

scully not believing any of the things clyde bruckman is predicting in episode 4 until he starts talking about how mulder will be attacked, and then all of a sudden she is tuned in

(and her whole relationship with bruckman- how she asks him how she’ll die even though she is terrified, and how he refuses to answer and burden her with that knowledge; how they play poker and talk about macbeth; how she feels that he has no joy in his life due to his abilities, real or imagined; how she listened to his prediction about mulder’s death and was there to save him; and how she cries when he ended his life)

“a woman gets lonely. sometimes she can’t wait around for a man to get reincarnated” <- tea (said in episode 5)

in episode 7, she is listening to a man describe his symptoms, and she writes a note and passes it to mulder. not even sure why this was so endearing to me- the combination of her Doctor Mode and seeing the tiny details of her passing notes, perhaps? but i loved it

in the same episode, the people from the military were trying to stop their investigation, and she put her foot down, point blank telling the general to “make himself available”, and calling out the obstruction and hidden details on the case. i love when she is full of righteous rage

when she saves mulder by finding the code to disarm the bomb in episode 10 by going to his house and playing his $29.95 autopsy video frame by frame... a hero on many levels

ALL OF EPISODE 11… her catholic lore dropping (how she knows the number of stigmatics in the world at one time, the saints whose bodies didn’t decompose, and how st. ignatius could be in two places at once), her connection with the little boy, him asking if she was sent to protect her and her believing it, promising she won’t let him be hurt, convincing mulder to let the kid come to the hotel with them, running him a bath (and mulder’s fake pout- “you never draw my bath”), when she becomes convinced the kid is at the recycling plant, and he is, so she saves him with a miracle... and when he says they’ll see each other again <3

the “i… believe in the idea that god’s hand can be witnessed. i believe he can create miracles, yes” “even if science can’t explain them?” “maybe that’s just what faith is” exchange with mulder

THIS NEXT ONE…

“how is it that you’re able to go out on a limb whenever you see a light in the sky, but you’re unwilling to accept the possibility of a miracle, even when it’s right in front of you?” “i wait for a miracle every day, but what i've seen here has only tested my patience, not my faith” “well, what about what i’ve seen?” (screaming. i am screaming. he is so quick to believe in anything except what she has put her faith in, and she rightfully stood up for herself against his disbelief, even if he didn't mean to be offensive, and he should take her seriously even in matters of god, and i need to stop typing or i will keep going for hours)

the way she goes to confession at the very end, telling the priest she doubts what she has seen because mulder did. and he responds that perhaps the miracles were meant just for her. how she says that she is scared that god is speaking, but no one is listening. she’s so haunted by what she has seen and the need to get justice for it, but still, god sent her a miracle, so there is hope.

screaming... i just LOVE that episode so much…

seeing her at home during episode 12- reading breakfast at tiffany’s, cleaning her gun and chatting on the phone, bathing the dog, eating ice cream out of the carton, and answering all of mulder’s obscure medical questions

and how annoyed she is with mulder’s infatuation with “dr. bambi” lmao she clocked it SO fast

in episode 15, she tears up when skinner says those above him are interested in closing her sister’s case; she becomes furious that they can seemingly solve every crime but this one (and bonus points for skinner fighting for her, even though it nearly killed him <3)

in the same episode, she immediately identifies the type of plane she is looking at as a north american p-51 mustang, because she used to watch her father and brothers build model planes

in episode 16, she visits skinner in the hospital and takes charge- making sure he is guarded at all times, that the investigation on who attacked him moves forward. and how she grabs his hand before he is wheeled into surgery and then visits him to ask how he is feeling when he wakes up

(and when she puts together that whoever shot skinner was also the person who shot her sister… truly in her detective era)

saving skinner’s life later in the episode, confronting the gunman, and how she screamed and screamed, asking if he was the one who killed her sister. god, that broke me. i need to analyze it for a few weeks

“i think the dead are speaking to us, mulder. demanding justice” <- it’s so tied to her fundamental need to do the correct thing and augh. she wants to find answers for her sister so terribly. she deserves them

in episode 17: (incredibly deadpan) “please explain to me the scientific nature of the whammy” (some people write her as too serious to be funny and it's like... are we watching the same show because she has me dying)

when she agrees with mulder’s theory that somehow the pusher is bending people to his will, even if she has no way to explain it- yet! a big moment!!!

she also immediately identifies the movie playing at the pusher’s house as svengali, further proving her horror movie fan status

(plucking a rat out of a car in episode 18) “label that” “as what?’ “partial rat body part” <- this killed me

(also, when she wipes blood off of mulder’s face in the woods... terribly intimate)

she makes a stupid joke about the organ trafficking victim leaving his heart in san francisco in episode 19 and it makes mulder laugh

her being such a big fan of jose chung in episode 20 and agreeing to meet him even though mulder refused. when he later mentions another of his books she gets so excited she says it is “one of the greatest thrillers ever written” … nerd <3

scully being mortified that she was featured in a late night television clip of an alien autopsy (she was autopsying a normal human being in an alien costume, but one thing led to another and now her face was briefly on the stupendous yappi show!! so embarrassing for a woman of science!!)

how she tells jose chung that their case might not have a lot of closure, but it's more closure than they usually get (while fidgeting with her flower-shaped earrings)

(and then when she reads his final book, she is described as “noble of spirit and pure of heart” but “nevertheless a federal employee” which had to both please her immensely and make her laugh)

there’s this moment in episode 21 where she is on the phone with mulder while driving in what looks to be a torrential downpour, and i cannot explain why it was so funny to me. it just was. she is flooring it through a damn hurricane to get there and it makes me laugh.

watching her slowly lose her grip on reality in episode 23 until she becomes convinced it was mulder who was behind her abduction… how she calls him and only flatly asks “where are you?”, how she holds mulder at gunpoint, certain he abducted her and killed her sister. how her mother finally convinces her that she is safe, which causes her to fall into her mother’s arms, sobbing. gooooooooosh...

when she hears someone was shot in episode 24 but somehoe miraculously recovered, so she just lifts up his shirt to examine his stomach without asking. it had me giggling!! she is entering Doctor Mode, decorum be damned, that dude's tummy WILL be inspected.

and then using all of her Doctor Mode knowledge to assure mulder that his mother has a chance at a good recovery, and trying to book a motel room for him to be by her side in the hospital; when he refuses and insists on going back to work, she tries to remind him he hasn’t slept in forever to no avail (these two will watch out for each other and it kills me every single time)

[blushcoloreddreams]

7 tips for a thriving journal

Hello and welcome back to the blog my love!

I have been move to speak on the matter of journaling many times before, and today, with the new years spirit still around and everyone adding goals and new habits to their lives, I thought it would be nice to take pen to paper or rather... binary code to screen, and discuss the 7 ways you can improve your journaling life!

1. Read more

I’ll have to be honest with you guys ... the fact is that you are NEVER going to enjoy writing unless you also enjoy READING the written word. Now, we don't need to be cozying up in the evening with our personal diaries as reading material, but I have found that the more I read, the better (and more frequently) I write!

Reading more will stimulate your writing, inspire your words, and most of all, remind you that plenty of people have written millions of words on paper, and you can get through a daily journal entry. ;)

2. Get a pen you actually like

This might sound crazy, but I promise that you WILL write more if you enjoy the type of pen you're using. When I switched over to a really inky black gel pen, I found my cursive gliding over the page at RECORD speeds! It was simply a joy to write! So ditch that creepy pencil, say no to promotional pens, and pick out a cute gel pen!

3. Bring your journal with you everywhere

Most of us don't sit down at 8pm every evening and take pen to paper, outlining our days. Most of us have fluctuating schedules, thought-lives, and energy levels. I have found that bringing my journal with me has helped me write more often, get better ideas, and just... enjoy writing much more!

It changes from a chore to a full-on CHOICE! I encourage you to get a smallish journal and pull that baby out when you're waiting at the dealership, grabbing a coffee, or just... killing time while waiting for your date! It definitely beats scrolling through Instagram, and you will find that catching your most interesting thoughts before they flutter away is HIGHLY satisfying!

4. Use it to sort out your emotions

I remember tearing into my bedroom after a particularly negative ninth grade school day. I threw myself on my bed, snatched a pretty journal I had but never had found use for and began furiously writing about being ditched by my friends after a some intense political debate that took over not only school but the country in 2018 and even if I stayed neutral at the time, the opinion of people close to me was enough for them to slowly exclude me. Instead of wailing, crying, or screaming at my friends, I screamed at my journal. And it was SATISFYING!

As an adult reading back on my impassioned ninth grade emotions, it's shocking to me how intense I felt at the time, but I also find myself feeling quite grateful to have those feelings immortalized forever. I've always done this: recorded my intense emotions, good OR bad. When I fall in love with, my journal becomes filled with my heart's longings and thoughts from our very first weeks. I promise you, either way It’s a cathartic experience that will not only help you process and rationalize what you feel at that moment but also record those feelings and adventures for the future.

When I went through grief and really bad times, my feelings were also sprawled across the pages forever. And sometimes, I like to reflect upon those feelings to remind myself how far I've come, or of what our first love felt like. Journaling helps you work through your emotions, but it also helps catalogue your life in a really meaningful way. Try taking to the pages when you're struggling, in pain, or feeling supremely happy. :)

5. Rotate your writing & topics

In order to stimulate your writing, it's important to rotate through different topics AND different styles of writing. Instead of just writing daily journal entries about your life, try your hand at different categories. I enjoy writing short stories, poetry, daily diary entries, personal thoughts about cultural and social current events, things I wanna learn more about, my goals and future blog ideas!

You could write song lyrics, poetry, novel ideas, blog ideas; the sky is the limit! I encourage you also to not only try writing about different topics, but also try rotating the WAY you write as well. You don't necessarily need to write with a physical pen on paper every time either. Sometimes I prefer opening up google docs, or even this very blog!

6. Use it to connect with God

I like to write out my prayers sometimes... especially if they're really meaningful like prayers of repentance, supplication, or long lists of what I'm grateful to God for. It can help to stimulate your prayer life, AND keep a record of your personal spiritual breakthroughs.

7. Write letters to people

When my father died, we haven’t been in contact for a while but I felt like I still had much to say, words that I wished I had externalized before his passing. However there was nothing stopping me to write to him, even if it felt a bit silly and I knew he’d never read them, it could help calm my mind. So I decided to writing him a few letters could help me cope better with what had just happened, better understand our relationship and even myself.

Now, at first, it can sound pretty unappealing to write to someone who couldn't write back, but before I knew it, it felt like one of the best cathartic experiences I ever had. When my beloved great grandma passed I found myself writing longer and longer letters, detailing different thoughts, and even throwing in some creative writing. I spent so much time sharing my thoughts, feelings, ideas, and heart, that by the end of this all, I felt like I was already in the habit of daily journaling LOL!

So, if you need a spark for your writing habits, I encourage you to start sending some letters to your family members, friends or find a pen pal, I actually loved writing letters on peoples birthdays when I was younger and it was something I really enjoyed rediscovering. Even if the person doesn't write back much, it can really jumpstart your writing!

That's all I have for today my loves! I hope you feel inspired to start writing. Remember, if the notebook life doesn't work out for you, it's okay to turn to the digital keyboard! Just keep trying different angles until you settle on the right formula for you.

xoxo, Julia

[i-have-a-goal]

I had said a few days ago I would be posting my tips on how I lose weight the fastest & how i got it done being in sports that enabled this ♡ so here I go:

Btw- just need to say this quickly- I don't condone this and get help if you are able to ♡ much luv

Okay with that here it is teehee:

☆ Okay so When I was in wrestling, we had to make sure we made weight- no if . If you were 6 lbs over then you had to find a way to lose 6lbs by Saturday. When I was put in this situation, some of the girls would 🤮 of course, but I wasn't a fan of the taste so I def took alternative routes such as

1. Calorie Deficit= DUH. Obv. Duh. For safety reasons I'm going to say 1,400 max (which isn't much In real life lol) but I would eat around 800-1,200 max for this. I wouldn't really say I watch what I eat, but I'm also not just downing pure doritos and mountain due. I'll have chips but I'll also eat fruits.

2. Working out/ cardio= I know.. it's a bummer isn't it? But I'm being 1000% honest with you, calorie deficit combined with hot cardio is the key to losing weight quickly. This is what we all did to make sure we were at the correct weight within 7 days. And it's not walk around the block or sit on the floor and do donkey kicks either... it doesn't have to be extremely intense, but you do want to make sure you're sweating the whole time. ☆ bonus points for putting on 2-3 jackets and pajama pants or hot sweats when u workout!! It does a lot of the job for you. For me, my go to would be using the treadmill (I don't even run girl I have it on level 3 and do this for 30 mins while listening to music and day dreaming about my cute skinny future self- and I still sweat like crazy) I also do the same thing on a indoor bike. Like I said, it doesn't have to be sprints or anything crazy , just something that keeps you moving enough to be hot = sweat. Think of jumping Jacks, planks, butterfly kicks, ladder climbs, etc. Also if you have a jacket with a Hoodie, def tie the hoodie secured so u can sweat more! It works I promise.

3. if you have the time, try to workout whatever you just ate sooner than later. For example, ate an apple? That's 95 cals, nothing a 25 minute walk can't burn off 👍🏻

4. DRINK YOUR WATER. I know everyone says it BUT there's a reason they do okay. Water keeps your lips hydrated and soft. Water will keep your body hydrated, water will help keep you full (to an extent if im going to be honest) if you feel hungry after drinking water, try sucking or chewing on ice- water's cousin ♡ they go hand in hand. Also- I add chia seeds to my water for the fiber and mint leaves with lemon and Cucumber in another ( I have different cups) the mint drink helps with bad breath (from not eating) AND speeds your metabolism = lose weight faster. I also drink green tea for the same benefits + 0 calories so yay ♡

5. FOOD EXAMPLES. Chances are, If you're too focused on how hungry you are and how much it sucks that you can't have fatty foods- you'll break. You won't succeed. So let's make it as beautiful as we can. By that I mean the dishes you make. Some popular dishes we would do within the sport was 6-8 leafs of big crunchy Romaine lettuce with lemon and salt over them. That's around 10-15 calories. Another one was thin slices of tomatoes with salt. Get creative and add seasoning if needed ✨️ if you like spicy food then you're in luck cause adding spice to anything fills u up quicker:-) a good spicy choice I do is steamed garbanzo beans with tapatio. Another good (non spicy) option is steamed artichoke with light Mayo! Get fancy here guys yall can steam so many vegetables and have so many nice looking meals 😊

6. STAY CONSISTENT = I know it's easier said than done, but when you're about to grab that pizza, understand that you're conscious enough to make the decision to not eat it. If your body is fighting with your brain, then you have to trick one of them. Yes, be delulu. Tell yourself it isn't good. Tell yourself the pizza is just another thick slab of grease with artificial cheese over it. Think of how you'll feel once you eat it. Think of the grease lard and calories you're shoving down your throat. Convince yourself it's disgusting. Eventually, you will find it disgusting. And this can work the opposite way as well ✨️ glorify thin slices of fruit. The satisfying way it feels to eat low calorie naturally sweetened fruits from earth. Same with veggies and water and anything 0 calories.

If I have any other advice ( which I'm sure I do I can't just think at the moment!! Smh) then I'll be posting them on this account so follow me for more content but if there's 1 thing to take from all this, it's this:

Self-discipline & self-control

So many of us don't get to our goal weights because of these 2 right here. Find the self control to not eat the food your family brought home. Find the self discipline to carry on your good habits of eating minimal & healthy and gradually make your way to the end goal ✨️

I believe in you all! We got this, one day at a time 💕

[thelastspeecher]

Weird Little Critter - Chapter 5: Transitions, Part 2

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 AO3

Aaaaaaaaand here's part two! After a bit of a longer wait than initially anticipated whoops. Life got crazy. But the third part (again, not just by myself, but also @elishevart) should be up by the end of the year!

——————————————————————————————

              Banjo and Stan walked into the house while Ford waited outside for them to get ready for their short trip to the Crawlspace.

              "I'll get the cloaks Ford mentioned," Banjo said. Ford had told them he had some in a chest in his room, and they would be essential to hide their human features. Stan nodded and grabbed a quick snack from the kitchen. Banjo returned a few minutes later with two brown cloaks draped over his arm and a couple small bags in his hand.

              "I thought he said to get the green ones," Stan said, setting aside his now empty plate. Banjo's face twitched slightly.

              "Well, I figure this color will work better," he said. "Green lures fairies to ya, and we don't want much attention. Red repels 'em."

              "Those are brown," Stan pointed out. Banjo twitched again.

              "Yes, 'cause we don't want to keep fairies away either," he said firmly. "Stanford could very well have purchased that potion from one, after all."

              This seems like a touchy subject for him. Time to move on. Stan shrugged.

              "You know what you're talking about, so I'll do what you say." Banjo relaxed visibly. "Do you really think the cloaks will be enough?"

              "I grabbed some fake pointed ears, fairy dust, and my makeup bag," Banjo said. He set the items on the kitchen table.

              "You have makeup? I never see you wear any."

              "It ain't logical to wear in a field science, but I keep it around fer special occasions." Banjo glowered at his makeup bag. "But I'm not that good at applyin’ it, since I so rarely use it."

              "You're in luck. I started doing mine and Ford's Halloween monster makeup as soon as I could steal Mom's eyeliner," Stan said. He gestured to a chair. "Have a seat and let me work my magic on you."

              Ten minutes later, two “elves” exited the house.  Ford, who was looking morosely up at the full moon, gave them a silent nod.

              “Those disguises are suitable,” he said softly.  “Follow me to the Crawlspace.”

—--

              “Well, this is officially the weirdest place I’ve ever been to,” Stan said as the trio, with Ford in the lead, walked around the Crawlspace. “But not by much.” The place was filled with stands of all sorts selling either weird potions, parts of weirder animals, and even stranger plants.  Stan couldn’t help but be in awe.

              It’s like the stories from when I was a kid, about genies and caves full of jewels and gold.

              And if the stands were impressive, the sellers were on a whole other level. Monsters and other creatures from legends Stan had only ever heard of and some he never knew. He was pretty certain he spotted a giant toad in the back. At first he thought that was where Ford had gotten the potions, but his amphibious brother kept marching forward, although at a slow and unusual pace.  His unchanging low mood was beginning to concern Stan.

              Stan hadn’t had a chance to observe this side of his twin as much as Banjo had, but he had seen him as a salamander for a whole week.  And despite how frustrated Ford had been back then, he hadn’t looked nearly this… distraught. 

              Ford’s gills hung low on each side of his drooping head.  His tail trailed lifelessly behind him. He barely glanced at them to make sure they were still following him, as if he wouldn’t be surprised they weren’t. His whole form screamed “sad little puppy”, but even if Stan wanted to cheer him up, he wasn’t sure what to say. 

              Next to him, Banjo wasn’t doing much better. He was tense, constantly glancing left and right, as if he was expecting something to get the jump on them. Stan’s comment finally seemed to register to the twiggy man and he looked at Stan in confusion. 

              “Huh?” Banjo still looked uneasy, but the shadow of a smile crossed his face. “You mean an underground market filled with all sorts of magical creatures is somethin’ ya came by already?”

              “Well not exactly like this,” Stan hedged. He leaned in closer to Banjo. The sweet smell of Banjo’s perfume filled Stan’s nostrils, almost distracting him from what he was saying. “But you should see some back alley marketplaces.  The real shady ones look pretty close to this.” Stan looked down and ahead. Ford was a few paces in front of them, still leading them towards their ultimate destination. “So… you doing okay?”

              Banjo took a deep breath. “I think so… still shaken up.”

              "By everything?”

              It took a moment before the southerner answered. During the pause, Stan saw him looking at Ford’s back before speaking. “Yeah, everything.”

              Stan sighed. No matter what he said the tension between the trio, especially Ford and Banjo, was still as high as it was an hour ago. Stan just shoved his hands in his pockets, glancing around as they continued walking. He raised an eyebrow when he saw a weird gray stripe running along Ford’s back. 

              Huh, that wasn’t there before. Banjo was looking directly at Ford and didn’t seem phased, so he shrugged it off. If he isn’t worried, must not be something new. 

              A few minutes later, they stopped before a vendor with vials and potions of all sorts. Ford stopped, sniffed the air, and turned toward them. 

              “Here,” Stanford whispered. The sound came out more like a chirp than a proper word.  He then stepped to the side to sit on his hind legs, his tail circling him. A few more gray streaks popped into existence across his skin as he idly looked at the ground. 

              Banjo walked up to the counter and cleared his throat. 

              "Hello," Banjo said politely. The vendor, a man so short he needed to stand on top of a crate to look over his trestle table, looked at him with suspicion. Stan busied himself pretending to look at the produce being sold at the stall next door, staffed by tiny fluttering fairies. He looked down at a box of green and red berries, keeping an ear on Banjo's conversation, glancing at Ford every now and then to make sure he was still there.

              "What can I help you with?" the vendor asked, apparently deciding to treat Banjo like a regular customer.

              "My friend purchased a sex change potion from you the other day. I wanted some more information on it," Banjo said smoothly. Stan's eyebrows went up. Banjo's southern accent was completely gone.

              I didn't know he could drop it whenever he wanted. That's a good trick.

              "Oh, yeah, I remember him," the vendor said. He peered over his collection of vials and bottles to look at Ford. "Is he your pet?"

              "...Something like that," Banjo said after a moment's hesitation.

              "What sort of information do you want?"

              "Is there an antidote?" Banjo asked. The vendor laughed.

              "I'm not selling poisonous berries like the pixies next door!" he said. Stan quickly dropped the berry he had picked up. "My products don't need antidotes. That potion in particular is short-lasting, with effects that vary depending upon dosage. So, no, there's no 'antidote'. It'll just wear off in time."

              "Got it." Banjo smiled at the vendor. "Thank you. Slán." The vendor seemed taken aback for a moment before smiling.

              "Slán. And feel free to send your pet on errands to my stand any time you want," the vendor said cheerfully. Banjo nodded. He stepped away from the stand, joining Stan by the berries. Stan frowned at him.

              "What?" Banjo asked.

              "What did you just say to him?"

              "Oh, that was just goodbye in Irish," Banjo said with a shrug. "I clocked that he was a púca immediately. Did ya see his ears and tail?"

              "What?" Stan looked back at the vendor. Sure enough, the man had black tufted ears that blended in with his hair and a long black tail like a lion's. "How'd you know what he was?"

              "My Pa's family is from Ireland. Pa passed down the oral history to us, such as the tales of faeries, or the aos sí. The púca is one such bein’."

              "You know Irish."

              "A bit. Enough to impress people but not enough to communicate in it." Banjo looked down at the berries Stan had been pretending to be interested in. "The púca said these were poisonous."

              "Only the unripe ones!" said one of the shimmery fairies manning the stall. "The ripe ones are heavenly! A single one fills you up better than a three course meal!"

              "Really?" Stan asked. The fairy nodded. Stan looked at Banjo. "Wanna get some berries?"

              "Which ones are ripe?" Banjo asked.

              "The red ones," the fairy replied. Banjo stared at the berries, ripe and unripe mixed in the same container, with panic on his face. After a moment, he cleared his throat.

              "No, we should just head home. It's not wise to accept food from the Fair Folk anyways," he said. The fairy crossed her arms, scowling.

              "How rude!"

              "Come on," Banjo said.  He walked away, heading back in the direction they had come from.  Stan quickly caught up. Stanford, who had curled up on the ground, sprung to his paws and trotted up to them. 

              “Well, that was a bust,” Stan said. “Guess Ford was right. You’re stuck like that for at least two more days.” Stan glanced back to see if said twin was following them. 

              As Banjo talked with the vendor, Stan had watched his twin on the ground turn more and more gray. So much so that by the end, when they decided to just leave, Ford was completely gray, lacking almost all color. Now, the big salamander was slowly following them on all fours, his head, gills, and tail still low. 

              “Yeah well, better safe than sorry,” Banjo grumbled. “I mean, if yer goin’ to sell sex changin’ potions, surely you’d have a counter potion or an antidote or somethin’.”

              “Yeah, but the effects are temporary and change depending on the dose you take.” Stan’s parroting of what the vendor had said earned a surprised look from Banjo. “What? I listened, I wasn't just trying to pickpocket anyone or anything that walked by.” Banjo raised an eyebrow. 

              “Did ya…?”

              Stan shot him his best smile. “What do you think?” He opened his hand to reveal a few golden coins and gems.  All looked genuine to Stan’s admittedly amateur eye. “I’m surprised Sixer didn’t try to stop me.” Stan nodded at Ford behind them. He frowned. His twin had stopped for a few seconds to lick some water from a puddle. “You think he’s okay?”

              ”I’m sure he’ll be fine.” Banjo’s voice was tart, prompting an apologetic chirp from Stanford. 

              “Does he usually walk on all fours?” 

              “Why don’t you ask him?” Banjo snapped.

              ”Since I’ve known him most of my life, he doesn’t like when I ask him questions about himself,” Stan joked. He shot Banjo his most charming smile, but only earned an eye roll in return. “And…since I know him so well, here’s something you should know about him. He’ll keep his feelings inside until they boil over or- or overwhelm him. I don’t know if you noticed, but he can be a bit of a drama queen and wallow in his own sadness. I’m the last person who wants to do actual ‘communication’, but…you two have to talk about what happened.”

              Banjo huffed and crossed his arms over his chest in annoyance. The walk was silent until the house came into view. Banjo stopped just outside of the front door.  His arms fell to his sides, his hands clenched into fists.

              “I’ll think about it.”  With that, Banjo opened the door and disappeared inside. 

              Stan sighed. A soft chirp came from below him. He looked down to see his gray little twin next to him, tilting his head curiously.

              “You’re not gonna get out of this, Sixer.  It’s a two-way street.  You’re gonna have to do something about it, too.”

              The axolotl looked down sadly and sighed before rubbing his head against Stan’s legs. The movement caught the human twin off guard. He was preparing to bend and pat Ford’s head when a loud rumble erupted around them. Stan raised an eyebrow. 

              “When‘s the last time you ate, Sixer?” He asked. 

              Ford looked guilty down, his tail wrapping around his legs. 

              Stan just shook his head and opened the door. “Let’s see what we have left for you. I think I saw some hornworm in the fridge.”

              At the word “hornworm”, Stanford shot to his feet and sprinted inside as fast as his four legs would carry him. From him came a series of chirps and noises that could be an attempt to speak, but sounded like gibberish to Stanley. 

              What is wrong with him?

—--

              Ford yawned as he made his way to the kitchen.  The night before had been even more draining than typical for a full moon.  Pre-coffee, he had barely enough energy to throw on a robe and brush his teeth after waking up in his tank in his study, fully human.  Stan, getting ready in his room, joined him when he walked past the open door.

              “So, uh, last night was kinda wild, huh?” Stan said.  Ford rubbed his eyes blearily.

              “I don’t recall much of last night.”

            �� “Yeah, you seemed pretty off.”

              “Yes,” Ford mumbled. 

“What's the last thing you remember?” Stan probed. Ford sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

              “Why are you interrogating me this morning?”

              “Just humor me,” Stan said.  Ford raised an eyebrow and thought for a moment. He stopped in the hallway. 

              “I remember us getting to the Crawlspace and the vendor. Banjo talked to him and…” He side-eyed Stanley.  “...You pickpocketed a few passersby that got too close.”  Stan snorted.

              “I’m surprised you didn’t stop me.”

              Stanford just shrugged and idly ran his fingers through the blue streak in his hair. “I didn't see the point. I don’t remember much after that. I recall us walking in the woods and coming back. I know you and Banjo talked, but I didn’t listen. Or I chose not to listen.” He shoved his hands in the pockets of his robe. “You gave me some hornworms for dinner, then we rested on the couch for most of the evening. Did I miss anything?”

              Stan patted him on the shoulder, ushering him toward the kitchen with a big smile on his face. “Nah, just wanted to make sure.”  Ford frowned and removed his brother’s hand.

              “You’re not telling me everything. What happened?” Ford winced.  “What did I do?”  He didn’t like the knot forming in his stomach at the prospect of him missing some pieces.  Stan waved his concerns away.

              “You got enough on your mind as it is. Don’t worry, you did nothing wrong. I swear.”

              “I don’t have anything on my mind!” Ford protested.  Stan snickered.  Ford sighed and rephrased.  “Nothing weighs on me that would mean you have to hide anything, Stanley.”

              “Clearly.  So that means that you can handle a day with Banjo, no problem.”

              That horrible knot that had plagued Ford came back with a vengeance.  Ford hugged his sides.  He could feel bile rising in his throat.  It took all of his willpower to not vomit the few fluids he had in him. 

              His twin saw how distressed he had suddenly become and pulled him in for a hug. It didn’t take long for Ford to bury himself in his brother’s embrace. The gesture grounded and comforted him. They both stood in the middle of the hallway until Stan broke off the hug.

              “All right? Stan asked.  Ford nodded.  “Good. You do realize you’ve gotta pull yourself together and talk to him eventually, right?”

              ”I do,” Ford whispered.  He dragged his hand down his face. “I just- I feel that I’ve ruined things between us. I don't know if I can face him…”

              For more than one reason. Stan gave him a tap on the back of his head.

              “You dumb nerd. Don’t think too much! Just start apologizing. Then you guys can go from there.”

              “You’re certainly one to recommend an apology,” Ford muttered under his breath. Stan laughed.

              “Yeah, I tell people to do stuff I won’t do all the time.”  Ford rolled his eyes.  The two resumed their walk to the kitchen. Soon, they picked up on the sound of faint singing.

              “Country roads take me home, to the place I belong…”

              “Is that Banjo?” Stan asked.  Ford shrugged.

              “Either him or a stranger that has broken into the house to sing along to the country station.”  Stan snickered and elbowed him.  As they got closer to the kitchen, the singing grew louder. But the uncomfortable feeling in Ford’s stomach returned.  He stepped back. 

              “I’ll meet you two later. I just realized I forgot to go over some data,” Ford lied.  He quickly turned around and walked away, not giving Stan a chance to try to stop him.

              Stan just shook his head and entered the kitchen. Banjo, who in fact was singing along to the radio, stood at the stove cooking some eggs, a bug-filled container filled on the counter next to his pan. Stan grabbed it before any damage to the eggs could be done and shoved it in the cupboard.

              ”We won’t be needing those this morning. Ford needs to look over some data,” he said firmly.  Banjo pursed his lips.

              “Very well,” he muttered.

              “Yeah, I didn’t buy it, either,” Stan said. Banjo managed a small smile. “By the way, were you singing just now?”

              “Oh, uh, yes.”

              “It was nice.”  Stan leaned against the counter.  “How come I’ve never heard you sing before?”  To his surprise, Banjo blushed.

              “My, uh, my big sister, Violynn, she’s- she’s got the prettiest voice in the world.  She’s won awards!”  Banjo looked down at the pan and stirred the contents.  “But me?  Or, I s’ppose, Angie?  Not even close.”

              “You don’t sing as Angie ‘cause your sister’s better than you?” Stan asked.  Banjo rolled his eyes.

              “Well, I guess when ya say it like that, it does make me sound-” Banjo started.

              “No, I get it,” Stan interrupted.  “You’re not the only one who grew up with an older sibling better than you at something.”  Banjo smiled shyly at him.  “I bet you sound good as Angie, though.”  Banjo shook his head.  “Seriously, if you sound this good as Banjo, there’s no way you sound bad as Angie!”

              “You’d be wrong,” Banjo said firmly.  “I told ya.  I don’t sound good.”

              “I don’t believe you,” Stan said, just as firm.  Banjo rolled his eyes again.  “At the very least, you sound better than me.”

              “I’ve heard ya sing in the shower.  That ain’t a high bar.”  Banjo turned off the stove.  “Let’s move on from this topic and eat, okay?”

              They both sat in silence to eat their breakfast until Stan broke it.

              ”Okay, so you’ve known my twin while he’s been a magical whatever for a while. Has he ever acted weird before? As a salamander?”

              “Well…”  Banjo frowned thoughtfully.  “He always acts a bit odd.  I think it’s ‘cause it’s so strange to be a completely dif’rent species from what ya normally are.”  Banjo looked down at his plate and picked at his food idly.

              “Okay.”  Stan chewed a bite of scrambled eggs and swallowed.  “I know you weren’t worried about him turning gray last night, but-”  Banjo's head shot up.  He stared at Stan in horror.

              "What?!"

              "Last night, while we were in the Crawlspace, Ford went from pink to gray," Stan said.  Banjo’s eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.

              "He turned gray?" he croaked.  Stan frowned.

              "You didn't notice?"

              "Clearly!"  Banjo chewed on his lip.  "Changin’ color, that don’t bode well.  Unless he’s suddenly part chameleon or cuttlefish or somethin’.  Which we can’t rule out."

              “You were looking right at him, how did you not see it?” Stan pressed.  Banjo’s gaze dropped to his plate. He pushed around a piece of egg idly.

              “Nothin’, I- I must’ve been distracted or- or maybe the lighting in the Crawlspace…" he mumbled.

              "Nuh-uh. If I noticed, there's no way you shouldn't have," Stan said firmly.

              “I- I was upset,” Banjo said.  “Yesterday was dif’cult, I was- I was as blue as- as my shirt.”  Banjo sighed softly.  “I still am.  I wish Stanford weren’t avoidin’ me.  I want to put this all to bed.”  Stan raised an eyebrow.  Banjo’s shirt, an inoffensive button-down, was purple.

              So either he’s not actually sad, which he clearly is, or he doesn’t know what color his shirt is.  But how could he not know?  Stan thought back to the outfit Banjo had worn yesterday, a combination of orange and green.  I don’t know him as well as I’d like, but that seemed weird for him.  In addition, when Stan was doing their makeup yesterday, he stopped asking Banjo to grab items, as he kept selecting colors that didn’t go with their disguises.  I thought he was just being annoying, but maybe it was something more?  There was also that thing with the cloaks and the berries…

              “Uh, Stan?” Banjo asked hesitantly, clearly wary at how long it had been since Stan spoke.  Stan set down his fork.

              “I’m gonna take a shot in the dark here.  If I’m wrong, don’t laugh at me.”

              “Okay?”

              “Are- are you colorblind?” Stan asked.  Banjo froze.  Stan’s jaw dropped.  “Shit, you are!”

              “I- yes,” Banjo said weakly.  His head drooped.  “It runs in my fam’ly.”

              “Whoa.  I didn’t realize.”

              “I thought I was doin’ a good job hidin’ it,” Banjo moaned.

              “You were!  I didn’t notice until after you turned into Banjo!”

              “I weren’t colorblind until I became Banjo.”

              “Huh?”

              “Angie can see color just fine,” Banjo said.  Stan furrowed his brow.

              "How the hell is that possible?"

              “The specific kind of colorblindness that runs in m’ fam’ily is deuteranopia, a form of red-green colorblindness,” Banjo explained.  “It’s a sex-linked trait.  The gene involved is on the X chromosome.

              “Females have two X chromosomes.  If they’ve got one faulty version of the gene and one reg’lar version of the gene, they don’t got colorblindness, ‘cause the right version overrides the wrong one.”  Stan nodded.  “But males have one X chromosome, so if they’ve got the faulty version of the gene on that one X chromosome, they’ve got colorblindness.  So’s ya see this form of colorblindness more in men ‘n in women.”

              “So, when you’re Angie, you’ve got a regular copy and a bad copy,” Stan said slowly.  Banjo nodded.

              “That’s called bein’ a carrier, and it’s the only conclusion fer my sudden development of colorblindness.”  Banjo rubbed his forehead.  “Just my luck that the X chromosome what turned into a Y was the one what didn’t have colorblindness on it.  Ugh.”

              "Okay, so you can't see red, and pink is a kind of red," Stan said, "but you can see gray, right?"

              "Yes."

              "Then how come you didn't see Ford changing from not-gray to gray?" Stan asked.

              "Wh- because he already looked gray! Pink looks gray to me right now!" Banjo said, throwing his hands up in frustration. "Even before we went to the Crawlspace, Stanford looked gray. I just figured he wasn't ‘cause some of my clothes what are pink looked gray yesterday."

              "Huh.”  Stan picked up his fork again and poked a bit at his breakfast, mulling over what Banjo had said.  He locked eyes with the annoyingly attractive southerner.  “Why didn’t you tell us?  Were you embarrassed?  You don’t need to be.”  Banjo sighed.

              “I was a bit embarrassed, sure.  But it’s more that I didn’t really want to deal with it.  It’s at the bottom of my list of concerns.  I mean, I thought I was doin’ a good job hidin’ it!”

              “The orange and green yesterday did seem a bit outta character,” Stan said.   Banjo groaned.

              “Dangit!  I knew the flannel was orange, but I thought the shirt was red!”

              “Oh, man,” Stan said, poorly stifling a laugh.  “No, the flannel was green.  The shirt was orange.”  Banjo stared at him.

              “It was?!”

              “Yeah.”

              Banjo slammed his head on the table.  He groaned loudly.

              “I ain’t teasin’ Lute ‘n Harper fer bein’ colorblind ever again!” he declared.  Stan snickered.  Banjo’s shoulders began to shake.

              Shit, was I not “sensitive” enough?  Banjo might be a guy right now, but he’s usually a chick.  To Stan’s relief, he soon realized that Banjo was laughing, not crying.  Banjo lifted his head, his eyes lit up with mirth.  He grinned at Stan, his cheeks pink.

              “Those ‘re my colorblind brothers,” Banjo explained.  He leaned back in his chair, still grinning.  “Though I s’ppose right now I’m a colorblind brother, too.”

              “Think you could go fishing while colorblind?” Stan asked.  Banjo frowned.

              “I don’t see why not.  Why?”

              “It’s pretty obvious to me that Ford’s gonna hide in his room all day.  I don’t see the point in staying here just to sulk in separate rooms or whatever.”

              “...Oh.”  Banjo looked down at his emptied plate.  He sighed.  “Yeah, I think yer prob’ly right ‘bout Stanford’s plans fer today.  But I was really hopin’ to talk to him…”

              “You can talk to him when we get back.”  Stan got up.  He grabbed both his plate and Banjo’s.  Banjo blinked.

              “Back?  Back from where?”

              “Fishing, genius.”  Stan flicked Banjo’s nose playfully.  Banjo snickered at the action.

              Man, I love having someone around who’s got the same sense of humor as me.

              “Unless you wanna mope around all day,” Stan added.  Banjo shook his head.

              “No, I don’t want to waste the gorgeous weather.”  He grimaced.  “Even if I don’t like fishin’.”

              “You just think you don’t like it ‘cause you’ve never fished with me,” Stan said firmly, eliciting a soft laugh from Banjo.  Banjo stood up.

              “Just to dot our I’s and cross our T’s, I’ll go make sure Stanford don’t want to come with us.”

              “I think it’s a waste of time, but suit yourself,” Stan muttered as he brought the plates over to the sink.  He had just finished washing them when Banjo returned, looking crestfallen.  “Well?”

              “It’s just the two of us fishin’,” Banjo mumbled.  Stan nudged him.

              “Chin up, man,” he said.  “Trust me, we’ll have way more fun just the two of us.”  Banjo pursed his lips, clearly not convinced.  “And if we don’t, we’ll stop at the grocery store to pick up those weird popsicles you like.”  That got a smile from Banjo.  Banjo led the way out of the house.  Stan grabbed his car keys from the bowl on their way, grinning.

              Bribery.  It always works!