#say hi to my new beloved adopted child

[armoniaxcaos]

SETHU VINCITORE MORALE DELLA SERATA E SIAMO SOLO ALL'INIZIO

[evilminji]

Dani should Kidnap The Clones.

It's basicly protective custody. Preemptive child services, if you will. NONE of these fuckers out here makin adorable clone baby just cause they want kids!

*kicks down the door to your shady lab* Knock Knock! ITS THE POLICE! *Walker's Shock troopers swarm the place as Dani secures the kids*

Look me in the eyes. You KNOW he'd love an excuse to enforce The Rules on people technically outside his jurisdiction. It's for The Children(tm)! Why, he simply had no CHOICE!

Meanwhile? Dani is shoving all these mal-adjusted Murder Clones into her Lair? Which is? Basicly a Door style Lair she hid inside Danny's Lair for safe keeping. It's shoved behind a vending machine just outside the observatory. And the inside? Goes on for DAYS.

Like national parks and every beautiful beach she ever came across. She smashed together the BEST sights and places she's found in her travels, like a collection. Always adding more. New waterfalls, new noodle shops, new fields of wine grapes. It's... beautiful. Snapshots of every wonderous little thing about Earth, stitched together.

They can't hurt anyone. Can't achieve their "objectives". Are just treated like actual individuals and the children they truely are. Are surrounded by other Clones. So it's NORMAL here. Just? All of it.

But also?

Dani and Dan? Teaming up to make History's Scariest Adoption Agency(TM). Dan runs it. Dan wants to know why EXACTLY you want a kid. Explain yourself to Dan. What are your references? Qualifications. He's doing a home visit to inspect the premises. He BETTER not find any suspicious Labs.

And? It just? Appears out of nowhere. It's powered by Zone Bullshit. One second you're thinking "oh woe is me D:> I will never have a child to fill my lovely home, because of all my Superhero Secrets and also because government bureaucracy!" And the next?

.....wasn't that an out of business taco bell? "Zone Adoptions"?

"....Free Clone Baby?"

Okay that is HIGHLY suspicious and as a hero you are basicly legally obligated to investigate. But now it's bigger on the inside? Fancy waiting room? You are being interrogated? Wait, no, you're supposed to be the one doing the-?

Somehow? You leave with your Clone Son from another Dimension. And a pamphlet. You're scheduled for a home visit in three days. You... you never told them where you live.

Somehow that doesn't seem like it will slow them down.

Did the Fae just Suprise Baby you with a clone baby? Can they DO that? W... what's happening? What days is this? Who ARE YOU PEOPLE?! HUH!?!?

Just? Imagine. IMAGINE. I was gonna say Bruce... but?

Damian.

He finds himself... pondering What Could Have Been. Had his Clones not wanted him dead. Wondering if he could have saved them. If, perhaps, he had found them as infants. Raised them. Could he have given them a good life? Been a good father?

He gets emotional. Fatherly. He's about 14.

Dan's been around Ghosts too long to remember how humans age or how age relates to development. This one TALKS like An Adult. Must be one. Probably just short.

And Damian? Never backs down. The second Dan starts challenging him? His character is flawless and his morals divine. He has never done anything wrong, ever, in his LIFE. Fuck you. And on TOP of that? He not only will be the SINGLE GREATEST FATHER TO EVER FATHER, his home is the most loving and beloved ON THE PLANET!

In entirety of EARTH'S history, no less!

....what are they arguing about?

*is handed a baby and kicked out of Dan's adoption agency*

See you in a few days!

(o.o ) *happy gurgling from the baby* *Damian.exe has stopped working*

Smash cut, after Damian speed runs his stages of grief at his own Dumbass Life Choices, to his rocking back up at the Manor like? Congratulations, Father. I have brought you your first grandson! Do Not ask how I obtained him. It was likely dubiously legal but I will not be returning him. We have bonded.

And just? Annihilating the collective Bats on one go. You did what? You have What?! That is a baby! WHY IS THERE A BABY?! How is there a baby!? WHOS BABY!? *sirens going off and everyone panicking*

Will Damian be allowed to KEEP the Baby? Ha! Hell no. Bruce will. Damian is a child. But it will be a Needlessly Dramatic Bat Cold War Of Dramatic Drama to pry that small cherubic baby from his grip long enough for Bruce to fill out the paperwork.

Child thieving bastard that he is. How dare he. That is Damian's SON! D:<

*happy oblivious baby noises as Alfred feeds him in the background, while the Bats do their Dramatic Custody War*

@hdgnj @babbling-babull @hypewinter @nerdpoe @lolottes @mutable-manifestation

[blackbyakko]

In Defense of Vanessa

All of the peeps hating on Vanessa and Wade ‘a relationship in Deadpool 3 need to expand their imaginations a bit lol.

Do you think Vanessa, the woman who fought so so hard to keep Wades spirits up when he got his cancer diagnosis, whose after fucking DYING in the second film told him that he had to continue on living and supported him to live a good life despite her not being in it, and upon seeing Wade after he ghosted her and then showed back up looking SOOOOO fugly (he’s adorably fugly) and her first reaction was to look lovingly into this man’s eyes and say “That is a face that I’d be happy to sit on”, would just simply LEAVE him? Just like that???

Y’all, I think we saw a different film lol.

Almost everyone in Wade’s life, has either belittled him, or have actively shown their distaste for him known at some point (Peter, Yukio, and Dopender my beloveds, we’re not talking about you). Vanessa from the get-go, matched Wade’s freak. When we saw Wade’s flashback of their break up, Vanessa never said that she wanted to break up with him. We heard HIM Say that if she wanted to leave him to get it over with already. One of Wades biggest character flaws throughout the film has been that he pushes people away through humor and through insults because he is terrified of being vulnerable with them. Vanessa is the only person throughout the films that, even when he’s hurt, he lets himself be vulnerable around her, even post break up. Vanessa didn’t want to leave him, she wanted him to be a better version of himself, because he was wallowing, and not allowing himself to look beyond his insecurities.

Sometimes, doing things for ourselves, for the sake of bettering ourselves is not enough motivation. Wade was not willing to pick himself up and try to live up to his potential until Vanessa encouraged him to. I don’t think she cared if he ever became an avenger or not, but what she cared about was that he had all this potential and no direction and she could see how it was eating him up inside. Why is everyone else in Wade’s life around allowed to rude to him and tell him straight up he’s being a fuckhead, but Vanessa telling him he needs to pick himself up when he takes a knee or asking him to let her walk with him, and when he refuses to do so, wnd gives him some distance when HE PUSHED HER AWAY, makes her the bad guy. You could tell it hurt her when he asked if she was seeing anyone. And that handhold? She absolutely took him back lol. And that’s good! Deadpool is not someone who would sacrifice a loved one to save the world, he would sacrifice the world to save a loved one. And Vanessa is the same, being ride or die from the beginning, and I will not hear her name besmirched.

Also are you really going to tell me that she saw fucking WOLVERINE and didn’t turn to her man and say, “We��re tag teaming him right?” Or that she saw a free child in X23 and didn’t turn to Wade and say “We wanted a kid, so we’re adopting her right?”

Use your imagination people lol. Vanessa would be the first person to drag Wolverine and X23 into their family. She gets a hot new husband and a kid, Wolverine gets a hot new wife and a husband, and X23 gets a new mom and two dads. Everyone wins!

[long-live-astronerd-ghost-king]

DPXDC prompt. Family? Assemble!

Reporter: Gotham News, and we have a new supervillain on the line. Mr Phantom, what are your demands at the moment? Phantom with lack of sleep and with tears: I..I want a titanium model of a spaceship! And to get a good night’s sleep and to go to the local school…and some fudge and.. Reporter: Oh, my bad. Just one question for clarification, are you by any chance an orphan or are your parents villains? Phantom: I prefer the term mad scientists Reporter: Okay. So, Gotham news! And with me on the line is the new potential child of Wayne or Batman. Want to know how two serial adopters will share a child leading a double life? Stay with us and find out. Now let's check in with Jessie for our weather report. Phantom: Wait, what?

~~~~~

Danny spends the night running from the Red Hood with a bag of fudge, Red Robin with a pot of coffee, Batman with the adoption papers and, for some reason, Brucie Wayne with an idea of internship at a space station. Ha! The Justice League will never let a ghost into orbit. Not that Wayne can blackmail superheroes or smth. Danny: Fuck you all! I’m done with vigilante activity, I’m not your competitor! What do you want from me? And I’m done with crazy billionaires too. I swear, I’d rather be adopted by a local mob boss just to piss you off! ~Later~ Danny *sees peering out of the corner Matches Malone*: Are you kidding me?! Robbie *jumps off the roof and lands right behind Danny*: Stop running, lil brother, No one’s left the family yet. Minnie: What about Neal? Robbie *shakes a knife with a bow on the handle negatively*: He’s on sabbatical, that doesn’t count. Anyway, it’s a gift for you, cub. Danny: Um, thank you, but my lab scalpels are definitely sterile, and your blade was in who knows who before you brought it here. Robbie: It’s brand-new! And Archie decorated it with a ghost on the handle. Look! It's cute! With a smile and… Dick: Hands up! You’re under arrest for trying to steal our new member! Minnie: Why is he yours, damn cop? Selina: Boys, don’t fight. He’s mine. Schrodinger’s cat is still a kitten. Killer Croc: No way, my niece is staying with me. Danny: Uncle Waylon? Long time no see. Ra's: My grandson needs steady access to ectoplasm. Danyal, come with me. Danny: Over my dead body! Oh shiii…I mean no. Anyway, don’t you think the alley’s getting a little crowded?

~~~~

Killer Croc: Is he still mad at me? RR: Danny doesn’t talk to uncles who tried to eat his beloved brother Red Robin. Killer Croc: He wasn’t even your brother then. What do you want? An apology from me? RR: That would be nice.

~~~~

Danny: I didn’t think the GIW agents would really fear the reputation of Gotham and not follow me. What a relief! Jason *quickly throws the knife into the sink*: Wow, you got lucky. Alfred: Master Jones, why don’t you eat your steak? I thought last week you were complaining to Batman that 'cause of him you got not many prey. Croc *pulls a piece of white robe from the teeth*: Well, now there is a lot of it. Bruce *gives Jason and Croc the side-eye*.

~~~~

Ra's: You do realize that Malone, Wayne and Batman are the same person, right? Boy, you were born into a family of geniuses, don’t disappoint Grandpa. Danny: Triple pocket money, triple gifts for the holidays, the opportunity to complain about the same family member three times. No, Grandpa, I definitely don’t understand. Ra's: Smart little weasel.

~~~~

Selina: Okay. Purely theoretical. Do you like to steal? Danny: I wouldn’t say that. But somehow I stole the sword from the fright knight. And also stole few jewels but then I was under the mind control. I returned them. Well, the crown and ring of the king of the ghost zone I also took without permission. Oh, and the answers to the test once. And I’m really sorry about the last one. Neal: I feel the story behind it but I prefer to know nothing about it.

[spilledartery]

ANGST FEED US ANGST PLEASE

to conceive . . . ( kunikuzushi )

[ male reader, kingdom ! au, angst, trans ! kunikuzushi, infertility, sex. fujoshis, mlm fetishizers, dni. ]

he’s broken, he concluded. kunikuzushi felt tears well in his eyes, his hand instinctively going to his flat belly – a harsh truth that it will forever be that way. the mage, who broke the news to him, gave him an empathetic look.

what would you say? will you be mad? no, no, he knows you won’t be. you’re the kindest emperor ever. it was why he felt such a failure that you, a king, chose him, a mere commoner before you made him your consort, but he failed giving you an heir.

he won’t be pleased, he will hold a grudge against me, kunikuzushi’s mind kept slipping in the dark as he heads back to your shared chambers. he will find someone else—

he sits on the bed. it was only now that he noticed his shoulders were shaking violently as he sobs. he’s failed his sole purpose in life, of giving you an heir. he felt so undeserving of his title as your consort – you put him on such high regard, defend him whenever other nobles gets too rowdy with their mouths, and yet he can’t even pay you back by bearing a child.

that night, kunikuzushi laid on his side of bed, far away from you. he would usually be buzzing with excitement whenever he sees you at the door, but now...

“beloved,” you whispered, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. “has something happened? come, please, love. talk to me.”

your soft, reassuring tone made him crumble. for the umpteenth time that day, he cried. he gripped the sheets tight that his knuckles turned white. he sniffled.

“oh, love.” the next thing kunikuzushi knew, he was sitting on your lap; your arms were around his waist protectively. you gazed up at him with nothing but deep love and admiration. he doesn’t deserve you, you deserve someone better than keeping being wed to someone broken as him. “why do you cry?” you asked.

“i – i...”

kunikuzushi lets himself be selfish and clung onto you, putting his arms around your neck and sobbing against your shoulders. he grips your robes tight, afraid that you’ll slip away – but he knows you aren’t like that.

in the dim moonlight illuminating your chambers, you held him as he cried. you didn’t pry after his stammering, you just let him cry and cry, until he felt like there are no more tears coming out of him. he sniffled, steeling himself. he still holds you tight. “i w-went to the mage, earlier,” he hiccups, and you run your hands up and down his back gently, letting him know that you’re listening. “and... and i’m...” he felt tears again – it seems like there are more. “i cannot conceive. i-i’m broken! i’m infertile, i cannot give you an heir! i’m so sorry, your majesty, i am so sorry – please, forgive me — ”

through his mantra of “you deserve someone better, someone who can give you a child,” you console him by cupping his cheeks gently in your hands. “you are not broken, my love. it’s... it’s okay. there are plenty other ways of getting a child, yes?”

no. no. he knows how much you value tradition. surely you can’t just adopt a child, not of your bloodline, and raise them to rule the kingdom for the future. he knows you are only saying this to make him feel better, and he wants to slap you for it.

“hush, now, darling,” you said, wiping the tears from his eyes. “it’s okay.” then, you kissed him, chaste and soft. in spite of himself, he leaned into the kiss. he’s so selfish for allowing himself be in your presence further.

when you pull away, he’s already gripping the collar of your robes tight and pulling you back against his lips. he kissed you so earnestly and demandingly, as if wanting to prove something. please, don’t replace me. i can still be a good spouse, please...

you obliged with his advances. pushing your tongue in his mouth, he can’t help but moan, one which was muffled against your lips.

you laid him on the bed, and, without breaking the heated kiss, you began undressing him while he’s already slipping your robes off your shoulders. he was urgent, while you took your time.

you kissed down to his jaw, neck, to his soft, small mounds of breasts, taking a nipple into your mouth while your hand massages the other – kunikuzushi moans, arching up to you.

in the back of his mind, a cruel voice keeps whispering that he doesn’t deserve this; your mouth, your fingers that are pushing into him, your sweet, sweet words in his ear – none of this he deserves, but he’s selfish, always has been. and so, he indulges.

he cried as you pushed into him, and you were no better, breathing heavily against the crook of his neck. kunikuzushi wraps his legs around your waist, the action made you go deeper, and his eyes rolled back at the sensation.

you’ve set a steady pace as to not overwhelm him, but he just wants you go harder and faster, to be rough, as his punishment for being a failure and being infertile. his nails clawed at your back, and you groaned, biting his neck in retaliation.

the warm feeling of your cum pooling in his belly was a cruel reminder for kunikuzushi that it will not take. again, he cried.

some time later, you and him were at the massive table, with only the two of you eating. time and time again, you’d reassured him that it is okay that he cannot conceive, that you still love him no matter what, and he was starting to believe it until your advisor opened his damned mouth: “your majesty, if his highness kunikuzushi continues to fail giving you an heir”—you can’t help but scowl at the words he’d chosen—“isn’t it, perhaps, the time to look for concubines?”

you saw kunikuzushi tense. though before he hears your answer ( you’ve got no plans of agreeing, however ), he’d already hastily stood up and ran away, tears in his eyes. your heart breaks for him.

[skay-ali]

The Forgotten Daughter

Well let Troy burn.

Jajaja, I don't speak fluent English, but I can still write in English, even so I try to make my wish of writing about this neglected au yandere character possible.

Don't judge me I'm trying my best.

Prologue

You were born from an adventure, you are a bastard, your father never recognized you, you never knew about him until fate forced you to meet him.

For as long as you can remember, you lived with your mother, they were the happiest days you ever had.

Why the words "those were the happiest days", well your mother died in a car accident one day.

You were left alone when your beloved mother died, you remember being scared at the thought that you were now an orphan and would have to struggle in this cruel world to survive.

That would have been a hundred times better than what actually happened.

No, your destiny was to go live with your unknown father.

The famous Bruce Wayne, a Gotham City millionaire, philanthropist, playboy and owner of Wayne Industries.

Suffice it to say that your welcome was not the best, along with the lack of attention from your new father, to know what awaited you.

You were his first daughter, before he filled the house with many wild children who became vigilantes just like him.

You saw how a new child arrived with the passing years.

He guided them on their path with wisdom and something that could be described as fatherly affection.

You just stood on the sidelines waiting your turn to have a little bit of your father's attention.

That was never possible, there was never time for you, no matter how hard you tried, you were not important, you were not on his list of priorities, not even on the list of pending things.

You only had a butler as a responsible adult figure, no matter how much you want to say that it was enough to have him, it wasn't.

He reminded you that your father didn't even have any interest in you that his butler had to take care of you.

You gave up on this family with the third adopted child.

None of them wanted to hear from you when you tried to build a relationship with them, something that added insult to injury you already had.

You were an adult when the third son Tim appeared, you didn't learn anything from them except for his name, partly because you weren't interested in his past and partly because none of them wanted to share it, because they would do it with a completely unknown and disadvantaged girl.

As soon as you had the opportunity, you fled the mansion, maybe no one would notice, you were very sure.

You had money, your mother had insurance, which would pass into your hands when you came of age.

With that you survived at the university, of course you went to another city, safer and far from your family.

You wouldn't be so stupid to stay in y our already proclaimed city.

Your college years were healing for your broken heart, filled with sadness, hate and pain.

Being neglected, ignored and forgotten was very destructive to your life.

You went to a lot of parties, you drank a lot, you took a lot of substances and powders of dubious origin to numb your feelings, you met a lot of people, you made friends who had problems similar to yours.

Shitty parents who screwed up your life.

If your stay in that house caused you episodes of depression, low self-esteem and constant anxiety that caused you to mutilate your nails.

Over the years away from that place that you had to call home, you recovered from all your self-destructive feelings along with the people you met and had the honor of calling friends, brothers and family.

You graduated without complications, in the career that you always dreamed of following since you were little.

At one of the parties with your friends, when they were celebrating the entry into the hateful but obligatory world of work for you and one of your friends, you met a boy, his appearance caught your attention.

When you started talking to him, you hit it off very well, you danced a lot on the floor together, you drank like there was no tomorrow and you talked until you were hoarse.

In a moment of conversation between the two, he confessed that he was a hero, something that you took as a joke, because who would confess it to a complete stranger.

You didn't take into account that it could be true, a confession that the man said because he was super drunk.

You woke up in an unknown place, as soon as you recovered you fled the place, it was easy because the man you remembered coming to this place with had already left long before you woke up.

You continued your life normally, some stumbles and falls but nothing extreme that you couldn't resolve.

At least that's what you thought, until you saw a dark-skinned boy, with black hair, with green eyes and a terrifying unfriendly face, outside your house knocking on the door.

His appearance was very easy to spot, you had a vague idea of who he was.

If you had known that his presence would turn your world upside down, you would have thought better of it.

[flamingpudding]

Ghost Kitten

A/N: I got fascinated with the idea of Danny being Selina's son and then during work this sort of idea formed in my head.

Danny wasn't supposed to know yet. Jack had it all prepared for when Danny would get to learn about this. But this, this was not how Danny was supposed to learn about his origins yet. Jack Fenton wasn't sure how to react, so he ended up possible reacting in the worst way possible if he judged it by the way his sweet little boy was looking at them.

Jack tried to remember where it went wrong. Jazz had come to them, told them Danny wanted to have an important talk. That it was so important that she needed both of them to focus on him seriously. It had worried Maddie and him at first and when they sat down on the couch facing their children they weren't sure what to expect. But then his boy told him about the accident he had in the lap, about how things changed even asking them if they ever noticed how Danny's behaviours changed.

Jack had to admit then, that he hadn't really noticed and it made his mouth taste like dirt. He didn't like where this was going. He saw how his children exchanged a glance and then his sweet boy told them the truth and Jack could feel the horror overtaking his entire mind. The accident had changed Danny even worse.

He couldn't help but remember a term he had last heard long ago before his collage years even. Meta Human. His son had become a Meta human with ghost based powers and had kept it a secret from them for so long. Jack didn't know how to react then and still didn't know now. All he could think about were the horrors he had put his sweet little son through. All the times he had offhandedly said he would tear him apart molecule by molecule. In how much fear did his son have to live until he gathered enough courage to tell them, most likely only because Jazz was there to support him?

Jack didn't want to imagine it anymore. All he wanted was to hug his little boy and tell him that everything would be okay but before he could do anything. Maddie, his until then wonderful, wife told them something in return they had an agreement over when to tell them.

"You're adopted. You are not my child."

Until then Jack had always thought Maddie loved Danny just as much as he did but as he locked at his wife and saw the steely coldness flickering in them with distress. He wasn't so sure anymore. Torn between being angry at Maddie for the first time after so long and wanting to comfort his boy, Jack could do nothing but sat frozen as his beloved family broke apart before his eyes.

Suddenly Maddie and Jazz got into a headed argument, Danny was starting to draw into himself, making himself smaller watching his mother and sister fight. Until Maddie stormed out fo the room. Jazzie gave him a challenging look but Jack didn't know what to say so instead, what he had planned to tell his son when he turned 18 he was going to tell him now.

"Danny you know how we have barely any contact with family from my side? There is a reason behind it. But the important part here is that the only one I do keep sort of contact with is my fourth cousin and even that is nothing more than a couple messages ever few months."

"And what does that have to do with Danny?" Jazz pressed on while his little boy finally got the courage to look up at him.

"Dann-no, I need for you to now that no matter what you are or what I am going to tell you, you are my little boy, my son." Jack did everything he could to stare reassuringly at his boy and smiled once he saw him smile just a little too, he was most likely relieved that he was taking the news better than his mother.

"About 16 year ago, my fourth cousin contacted me out of the blue, till then we had only exchanged a couple of words and theories and projects. But that time was different. She was panicked, unsure and distressed. I don't know the specifics, all she told me was that she had gotten pregnant with a child from a fling who she wasn't sure wanted a relationship with or not and that she couldn't take care of a child in a city as dangerous as where she lived."

Understanding dawned on his daughter's face and Jack smiled fondly, Jazzie-pants had always been a smart cookie. "She didn't want to put the baby into her system, nor let a stranger take care of it. So she asked me and the moment I saw the little baby the first time. I knew he would be my son no matter what or how long she would want for me to take care of him."

Danny blinked wide eyed at Jack as finally his boy also understood what he was telling him. "Technically you are my fifth cousin, but I would prefer for you to stay my son for as long as you want."

He left his children after telling Danny the truth of his origin. Jack new he would love his son no matter what he was or his reaction towards the truth of his origins. Still he hoped this would not tear his family apart and that it would only take a day or two for Maddie to cool off for things to go back to an adjusted normal. Jack mused that he would have to diele back on the ghost ripping comments, he wouldn't want for his little boy to live in fear in their own house.

That what he thought until he saw his wife stewing in their bedroom, muttering about theories and how their boy wasn't their boy. He knew his wife, and dearly loved her. But it was because he knew her that he did the next thing he felt like regretting the next moment.

Danny is no longer safe with us. - J

He didn't get an answer from his cousin and the next morning he knew why. He did expect for her to want to remove Danny from their care, but he did not expect her to visit him with barely any time delay the next day.

All he could do was to stare and watch as Selina appeared on his doorstep with a man that was glaring at him and Jack might have only seen in magazines before, asking if she could meet her boy and how much he had already told Danny about his birth. And when he saw his baby boy's reaction to the two he wanted to do nothing more than hug and cuddle his little boy but once again, he got beaten to it by his fourth cousin.

His poor boy looked so unsure when Selina hugged him that Jack really wanted to take him away again, but he had no other choice, if he wanted to ensure his boy's safety.

[imaginespazzi]

Forget jealous Paige, how do we think poor KK's dealing with the fact that her father and sister were literally vibing to her song WITHOUT her 😭

Alright unserious unedited chaotic family drabble because I feel like procrastinating. Like I'm not even joking this is the most random thing I've ever written so read at your own discretion:

It's way too early in the morning when Paige's phone rings, making both her and Ice groan.

"KK what the fuck," Paige asks groggily, wiping at bleary eyes as a furious KK's face fills her phone screen.

"You said you didn't have a favorite child. LIAR," KK yells.

"Oh my god KK," Ice whines from across the room, "please shut the fuck up. My head is pounding."

"GOOD! TO MY SONG?" KK pays no attention, still as loud as ever, "HOW COULD YOU? BOTH OF YOU FUCKING TRAITORS."

"Bro you knew we were going," Paige sighs, sitting up properly.

"That's not the point. You know what give me one second. AZZI. AZZI. AZZI," and then KK's off running, blurry on Paige's screen as she yells for Azzi.

"Oh my god what? What?" Azzi's concerned voice comes through the phone, a smile replacing her frown when KK thrusts the phone in her face, "oh, hi P!"

Before a now grinning Paige can reply, KK cuts her off, "no! Don't hi P her. Did you see Ice's live? They been having the time of our lives without us. THEY WERE VIBING TO MY SONG. MY SONG AZZI!"

"Uh they're quite literally there to get drunk and party, we knew this," Azzi says, trying to hide a smile.

"Again not the point," KK sighs exasperatedly.

"What is the point KK," Paige asks with a tired yawn, "get to it then."

"The point is that you two are getting divorced and I'm finding myself a new stepfather. I will not be tolerating this disrespect," KK says firmly.

"Excuse me," Paige says shrilly, "I do not agree to a divorce."

"You don't have to. Mothers do what's best for their children and Azzi's gonna do what's best for me. Right Azzi?" KK glares at Azzi who sighs exasperatedly.

"You're both aware that you're not actually my husband and child right?"

"Excuse you," Paige screeches at the same time as KK gasps dramatically and Azzi has to mentally prevent herself from sighing again.

"Okay alright, divorce yes okay," Azzi gives in, KK squeals and this time Paige is glaring.

"Wow. It's that easy huh? Guess all of those years meant nothing to you."

Azzi shakes her head, trying to hide her smile at Paige's mock offense.

"And now to find a stepfather," KK says triumphantly and then her eyes light up with a glint as a blonde walks in, "KATE!"

Kate looks like a deer caught in the headlight as she walks cautiously towards an over-excited KK and a slightly mortified Azzi, "uhhh hi?"

"I have a very important question for you Kate," KK says with all the seriousness of the world, "are you married?"

"Uh....no?" Kate answers, confused at that line of questioning, as Azzi hides her face in her palms.

"KK what the fuck are you doing?" Paige yells at her phone, suddenly very unamused by this whole thing.

"Ssssh P-boogers, I'm about to perform a wedding."

"Umm what?" poor Kate asks, looking at Azzi for help, not used to the insanity that is the UConn women's team. To be honest, she's not fully sure if all of this is a joke.

"You and Azzi are getting married and then you're going to adopt me," KK says firmly.

"I swear we're normal people....most of the time," Azzi tries to reassure Kate.

"Dearly beloved, or unbeloved since it's Paige and Ice, I guess, we are here today to marry these two women," KK begins and then looks at Azzi and Kate who are standing a feet apart, "uh hello? You have to hold hands."

Paige splutters, "Martin I don't know you that well but if you hold her hand I swear to God."

"Oh calm down ex-father," KK fires back, "let me get my new parents married in peace. Now since there are no objections-"

"I OBJECT," Paige yells, turning to a sleeping Ice who's trying to block out the noise using a pillow, "ICE your mother is getting married to someone else, get the fuck up and come here and object with me."

"Your objections don't count because you're liars and traitors. MY SONG. MY FUCKING SONG."

"Bro you're all I was thinking about I swear," Paige pleads, "after every Bow, I was like oh my god KK would have loved this. I missed you every second I'm sorry."

"Sorry is not good enough," KK says petulantly.

"I got you a signed autograph. It was gonna be a surprise but you need to know. I swear KK, I would have had so much more fun if it was with you bro. It just wasn't the same."

"Oh that makes me feel great. Thanks Paige." Ice mumbles from under the sheets.

"ONE MAD CHILD AT A TIME THANK YOU," Paige says exasperatedly.

KK contemplates Paige's words for a moment before turning to Kate.

"I'm sorry Kate. It looks like this wedding can't go on. It's not you. It's us. Hope you understand," she says with a solemn expression, "but I already have a father and she's great. A little stupid sometimes but great."

Kate nods dumbstruck, unsure what had just happened in the last couple of minutes but she's pretty sure she's just been dismissed.

"FATHER," KK yells turns her face back to her phone, "I missed you. Let's never fight again. That was the worst 10 minutes of my life."

"SON SON," Paige shouts with glee, "let's never do that again."

Azzi pinches the bridge of her nose, wondering how she'd let this become her life.

"If the two of you are done, can I go back to rehab now?" she asks with a raised eyebrow.

Paige narrows her eyes at Azzi through the phone, "were you about to get married to someone else?"

Oh boy here we go again

[restingdomface]

Wei Wuxian: *crashes out of Jiang Cheng’s guest quarters in a fury* -and that is ANOTHER reason why you NEVER ask me to sit down for a talk like this ever again-

Jiang Cheng: *looking just as furious* -how DARE you, Wei Wuxian, I came here as a curtesy, you don’t OWN being a cutsleeve! If I fall for a man then I fall for a man-

Wei Wuxian: You little brat, that’s not why I’m mad!

Jiang Cheng: THEN WHY ARE YOU MAD?

Wei Wuxian: YOU ASKED ME TO SIT DOWN FOR THE TALK AND IT MADE ME THINK YOUD TELL ME YOU WERE DYING OR ONE OF THE JUNIORS GOT HURT!

Jiang Cheng: …fuck… that’s fair… how DOES one break the news they’re a cutsleeve?

Wei Wuxian: Adopt a baby and have your beloved raise it into the perfect child to prove them all wrong idk

Jiang Cheng: Too slow, I hate this method. Gimme another one.

Wei Wuxian: idk, then, idk, tell me the next time you’re trying to distract me after someone actually gets hurt?

Jiang Cheng: Okay, I’ll wait til his dad is on his deathbed to tell him.

Wei Wuxian: …that rules out it being any of our friends. None of them have dads anymore.

Lan Sizhui: *was volunteered to go interrupt WWX and JC out of an entire group of worried juniors* Senior Wei-

Wei Wuxian: A-Die, if you please.

Lan Sizhui: *blushy blush of happiness* A-Die 🥰

Wei Wuxian: Yes, my radish?

Lan Sizhui: I was asked to remind you both that telling someone you’re a cutsleeve on their deathbed is considered shocking enough that it might expedite the death to occur in that bed :)

Wei Wuxian: …that sounds like something Wen Ning would say; is Shushu Ning back already?

Lan Sizhui: :) he is. He’s helping Baba with the bunnies.

Jiang Cheng: *having been looking at his hands in confusion til now, looks up to study LSZ carefully* Where’d you get this one? Let’s just go with your first idea. I could hand my beloved a child.

Wei Wuxian: Labor Camp :)

Lan Sizhui: :/

Jiang Cheng: …I’m gonna find a street urchin. It ruined my parents marriage but maybe if I’m not married yet it’s a good luck charm…

Poor Scarred Juniors Who Had To Watch That: -~- 👁️👄👁️

[fatuismooches]

love from afar.

synopsis: The long absence of your lover has taken a toll on your heart, so it's only natural you find a new way to reach him.

includes: childe, scaramouche w/ gn! reader

notes: The latest TCG event got me thinking about how cute it would be for Kirara to deliver literal love letters to people for you. Lots and lots of fluff, the Harbingers miss you dearly. (I know Scara's part doesn't exactly line up with the canon timeline of the game, but let's just ignore it for the sake of fluff.)

Your boyfriend was a Fatui Harbinger. The mere phrase was enough to make many, even the strongest of warriors, run cold with fear. But when you heard the name of your beloved, it only filled you with the warmest of feelings - love.

And you knew more than anything in this world that he loved you. That was enough to make every day worthwhile, even though he was oceans across from you.

But, being the lover of a Fatui Harbinger was no easy task. It meant not being able to have the normalcy most people craved, to wake up to your partner every morning and enjoy the blissful sensation, to go out to restaurants and chat. To only be able to watch on as your friends move on and get married, maybe start families or adopt some pets, and settle into a sweet, domestic life.

Due to this, it had come to your attention that you missed your lover dearly. He had been away for quite some time, and although you exchanged letters, the length of time it took to arrive from overseas was not very pleasing. Which is why when you heard of the Komaniya Express’ impeccable international delivery service, your interest was piqued. 

Though when you went to the building where the company resided, you were having second thoughts. Yes, they could deliver anything to anyone, but to your boyfriend was another story. He was… well, you know, so you tried to back out of the deal. But the owner pressed you, restating their reliability. 

“You see, it’s not that I don’t have trust in Komaniya Express. I know they are quite reliable, but you see, the person I wish to deliver something to is…”

“Is?”

“A Fatui Harbinger.”

—

Scaramouche:

“A F-Fatui Harbinger?” The owner’s jaw dropped. “Well, I must say even we haven’t ever been asked to deliver something to someone of that caliber…”

“I know… so um, I think it’s best if I-”

“I want to deliver it!” A chipper voice sounded and a pretty girl popped up to the side of you. The first thing you noticed was her cat-like pupils, and then the two tails, and then the… paws!

“Oh Kirara, there you are. Back already?”

“Uh-huh! And now I’m interested in this job! Please, tell me more, and I swear I won’t fail.”

As much as you wanted this letter to be delivered, you didn’t want to send her out without notifying her of your lover’s… frequent outbursts. “Kirara, this is very sweet of you, but he has, um… a temper. It means he will probably be mean to you… and other things.”

“Don’t worry, cherished customer! I’ve already dealt with a bunch of clients with rather rude temperaments. I promise I will see to it that your package will reach his hands safely!”

You couldn’t help but smile in relief, and hand her your items. “Well… here’s a description. He has gorgeous indigo hair and eyes and wears traditional Inazuman clothes, and a large, beautiful hat too. You can’t miss him,” you said, almost dreamily, to which the two other Inazumans raised their eyebrows. Quickly you cleared your throat embarrassingly. “Anyway, he’s somewhere in Mondstadt. I’m sure if you follow some Fatui agents you’ll find him.”

“Oh, and a tip. Before you say anything to him, say my name first. He’ll probably be more inclined to listen to you if you do,” you recommended. Not many people knew of your relationship with Scaramouche, so uttering your name was sure to get his attention.

—

You weren’t joking when you said this Harbinger had a horrible temper. A very severe one in fact, as Kirara had just witnessed him berate a few of his subordinates, and now she was kind of having second thoughts. 

“Who’s there?” Suddenly, Scaramouche’s piercing eyes were on her, hand on his Delusion, and she meowed in surprise.

“[Name] sent me!!” Kirara blurted out to which the Harbinger widened his eyes, and then quickly narrowed them again, now even more on guard if that was possible.

“How do you know them? Speak carefully,” he nearly seethed. Kirara’s whole body was on edge.

“I’m your courier from Komaniya Express, and I’m just here to deliver something. See here, it’s a package from [Name]!” she flew through her words and quickly presented a sealed envelope, and Scaramouche immediately recognized the sealing wax on it. Lavender Melon. Wordlessly he snatched it and rubbed with it his thumbs.

It was real. He didn’t know how it got here, but he wasn’t going to wait a second longer to open it. Although he remained expressionless, he worried. Was it urgent? Did something happen? Were you hurt? His eyes scanned the letter.

Kuni, my one and only,

Ta-da! I bet you weren’t expecting this! Did you miss me, pretty boy?

You see, Inazuma has this amazing international express delivery thing, and it's supposedly really fast and efficient. Oh, and don’t worry, they don’t open the packages, so it’s completely safe! I know I always wait for one of your letters to arrive from wherever you are, but I haven’t gotten any. Is that because of the distance or have you not been writing…? It’d better be the former!

By the way, the other day, the head shrine maiden, came up and spoke to me. You know, the one with the big fox ears? I don’t know why she chose now of all times, considering we’ve been together for a while…

But she didn’t ask about you. All her questions were centered around me. I guess she just wanted to learn the kind of person I was, but now I understand why people think she’s scary… But back to the subject! Look at these photos I took!

[Attached are some images of beautiful Inazuman scenery, from different angles and locations. One of the photos has a blanket with two cups of tea set out. Lastly, there is a picture of you.]

I went to our usual spots by myself this time. I know it’s our thing, but you’ve been gone for so long this time. I am used to waiting, but you’ve been gone far longer than usual, no? I even forced myself to drink that bitter tea you like so much. I don’t know how you can stand that… And don’t worry, I’m fine. No hilichurls, no Treasure Hoarders, no one at all bothered me.

Keep the photos. That one photo you carry around of me is far too old, you know. This one was taken with a new model of the Kamera! What? Didn’t think I knew? Anyway, I think they’re pretty nice to look at. Hopefully, they’ll remind you of me, hehe. And motivate you to come back quicker to my arms, hmm? 

In all seriousness, I hope you’re well. I miss you dearly. You occupy my mind so much, I could never forget you even if I tried. The few pictures I have of you are barely keeping me at bay, Kuni.

I hope that eventually, there’ll be a day when I never leave your side, Kunikuzushi.

Scaramouche did not react, but inside he felt a twinge of loneliness too. Fuck, he missed you so much as well. Worse, the company he had were useless Fatui agents and his other unreliable Harbingers. And now that irritating kitsune was bothering you? When you belonged to him? His position as a Harbinger was beginning to drive him crazy.

How long had it been since he lay on your chest, falling asleep to the lull of your heartbeat? Been able to hear your lovely voice sing his praises, his cheeks growing hot? How he wanted you to always be by his side as well. But you needed not to worry.

Yes… when he reached godhood, that day will come true. You wouldn’t have to worry again.

“Oh, and if you’d like to write a reply and have me deliver it, that’d be great! [Name] seems to have been waiting for other letters from you for a while… they’ve already covered the cost for it too,” the youkai’s voice interrupted his thoughts. He had forgotten she was here. Though he still did not fully trust this being, he did hear about this company, being from Inazuma and all. And you deserved a reply most of all because clearly, the competent fools were not delivering his letters to you properly. He’ll have to teach them a lesson.

“Same spot, same time, tomorrow,” Scaramouche’s voice was the same irritated bite, as he turned around and disappeared.

—

A few days had passed and you were anxiously awaiting Kirara’s return. You envied her, being able to go where she wanted. To see your lover so easily. But you were used to the waiting game. So used to it, you knew exactly the amount of days that had gone by since you last saw Kuni. So accustomed to loneliness, that you counted the lines on your flooring to pass the time. It was your routine, so as soon as you heard the first knock at your door, you sped to open it at lightning speed.

And lo and behold, it was the person you wanted to see the second most, Kirara. In her hands rested a new envelope, definitely not the one you sent, which could only mean one thing. Your heart soared.

“Hello, dear customer, [Name]! I have successfully delivered your package to Scaramouche! I have a response from here right here,” she presented you with the letter and you had to resist the urge to snatch it. But you were quite impressed that she made it to the Scaramouche.

“Much better than those lousy Fatui agents, hmph… too scared to deliver a mere letter,” you muttered under your breath. “So, how’d it go? I hope he wasn’t too bad?”

“When I mentioned your name, he actually got more defensive, wondering how I knew you, haha. I was a bit scared for my tails for a second.”

“O-Oh, it makes sense he’d do that. I’m sorry I put you through that, Kirara…” You should have known that wasn’t a good idea. Scaramouche was extremely protective when it came to you. Your relationship was kept as secret as possible for a reason, as Scaramouche certainly did not have the best reputation.

“But then when he read your letter, his face softened all of a sudden…you must be really amazing if you could calm his temper down that quick!” Kirara meowed in excitement. “Humans are so amazing! And now, I thank you for choosing Komaniya Express!” 

“Haha, thank you, Kirara. We go a long way back… but I am quite pleased with the efficiency of your delivery. I think I will ask for your services again. Ah, and I’ll make sure to leave a five-star review for you!”

Kirara clasped her hands with joy and bowed deeply. “Thank you, thank you!” she squealed with happiness. “I’ll leave you to open your letter now! Thank you very much!”

You watched her leave but quickly slammed the door to rush into your room, jumping on your bed. You traced the outline of the seal, heart rapidly beating. Finally, something from your Kuni. You carefully opened the letter from Scaramouche as if it was the most precious thing you owned. Your heart sang at his familiar handwriting and you read each word slowly, trying to make the excitement last as long as possible.

To [Name],

I was surprised to see a youkai in Mondstadt, but it all made sense after I learned it was one of your childish antics again. Do you ever get tired of being a fool? …Though the fault is partially on me for believing these worms could fulfill any kind of job. From now on, I shall find another way for you to receive my letters. I am surrounded by brainless pests everywhere I turn here. No one is competent enough. Though you are an exception.

The last time I saw you, you had just recovered from being sick. Are you really well enough to be prancing about the place? If I come back and you’re not in good shape, there will be consequences. Make sure to use the recipes I left for you. They’re specifically good for frail human bodies like yours.

I hope you stopped falling asleep in the bath too. I’m not there with you to wake you up, so at least try to be alert.

Also, do not speak to the pink-haired kitsune. She will only bring trouble. When I come back, I expect you to tell me every single thing she asked you.

I don’t have a picture of you on me. You’re an idiot. Though, the clothes I brought suit you. Wear them more often.

Business here should finish up soon. But there’s a particularly annoying person in this world now, a blonde-haired traveler. If you see them, don’t talk to them. They’re dangerous.

I’ve attached a recipe for hash browns from Mondstadt. You always go on and on about how much you wanted to try different cuisine, so next time I come, I’ll have some more ready. Let’s see if you can make something better than my Shimi Chazuke.

I’ll see you soon. I expect to see you waiting with a cup of bitter tea.

And, the day where neither of us have to worry again is approaching. The preparations are already being made.

Your cheeks hurt from smiling so hard. His kindness was hidden under layers of mean words, his concern for you peeking through the words even if he tried not to show it. The puppet with a heart more human than he thought. 

Your Kunikuzushi. 

Though you wondered what that last line could mean…? You hoped he wouldn’t do something drastic.

Childe:

“Well… a Fatui Harbinger does sound like it could be a problem, even for our best courier…” Your shoulders drooped even though you knew that was true, but you still tried to defend Childe.

“I know how this sounds, but he’s actually quite nice to other people when he’s not on business… Even Yoimiya and the neighborhood kids can vouch for him!” You wanted to express how much of a sweetheart he was, but you thought that might harm his reputation with the members of the Fatui. Who were probably nearby, watching you from somewhere because of their orders from Childe.

“That sounds like an interesting job!” A cheery voice echoed from behind you and a girl appeared, one with two tails. Ah, she must be a youkai.

“Nice to meet you! I’m Kirara, and rest assured, I’ll deliver the package to this Harbinger of yours!” she nodded while smiling brightly.

“Really? Are you sure that you want to? I know it sounds daunting…”

“Don’t worry! I can’t work for Komaniya Express if I couldn’t deliver anywhere. And if Yoimiya really does like him, then I’m sure it’ll be fine!”

“Oh… thank you, thank you! Well, at this time he’ll be in Liyue Harbor. But it’s hard to get his exact location… so if you can’t find him, go to Wangsheng Funeral Parlor and ask for Zhongli. He’ll definitely know where Childe is. Thanks so much!” you happily handed the letter and small box of toys to Kirara, excited for her return. 

Childe was a Harbinger, but Ajax was the sweetest of men. You weren’t worried about anything happening, just the matter of Kirara actually finding him.

—

Locating the eleventh Harbinger was not as hard as Kirara thought it’d be. It seemed like he was quite well-known in Liyue. She spotted his ginger hair as he exited what looked to be an expensive restaurant and immediately scurried up to him.

“Hello, sir! Are you Childe, by any chance?” Childe was momentarily surprised at the girl initiating conversation, because of his Harbinger status and all.

“That’s me, alright. Is there something you need from me?”

“Great! See here, I have a package from [Name] to deliver to you.” Childe immediately straightened up at the sound of your lovely name.

“[Name]? Are you friends with them?” Childe’s eyes twinkled with interest. He’d love to hear about how you were doing.

“Oh, not quite,” Kirara laughed. “I’m just a humble courier that was sent to deliver this very important package for you! So please, sign here. Oh, but don’t worry about [Name]. They looked to be quite healthy when I saw them,” she quickly reassured him. “Feel free to send something back to them by the way. I’ll deliver it!”

He always felt so exhilarated with you, comparable to how he felt when he battled. Always so full of surprises, keeping him on his toes. Quickly, he ripped open the letter to see what words you weaved on the pages.

My beloved Ajax,

Hello, my dearest! I hope this letter finds you well. I know you said you’d be back soon, but I couldn’t resist trying to contact you through… you know. Alternate means. The Fatui agents never deliver our stuff quickly enough!

First, I know sometimes Teucer visits you in Liyue, so I’m sending over some plushies I’ve sewn for him. He still likes Ruin Guards, doesn’t he? Well, now he’s got the whole Ruin Machine collection. Please pass them on to him whenever you see him, and tell him I miss him dearly of course!

Secondly, well… I miss you more! I’ve been counting the days until I could see your pretty face again. I’ve been training as you told me to, but I’m afraid it’s kind of hard when we’ve been separated for so long… but I promise, I’ll be a worthy sparring partner! And, the neighborhood kids are asking me every day when you’re coming back. I’m going to have to start hiding in my house at this point.

Ah, how can I survive without a strong, handsome young man to carry all of my groceries home? Without his powerful arms to lift me everywhere I please? I truly am at a loss… (Am I making you miss me more? I hope it’s working.)

Oh yes, I was thinking, you and I have never been to the beaches in Inazuma together! I’m sure they’re nothing like the ones in Liyue, but they’re still pretty nonetheless. We should definitely go and collect some seashells and play in the water! (And you better not use your Hydro Vision to your advantage again!) 

Hopefully one day, the water fights can be snow ball fights instead, hmm? ;)

Love you!

P.S.: If I don’t receive a couple of dozen kisses the next time you visit, you’re being banned from cuddles.

Childe couldn’t help but smile and laugh as he read your letter. You were so, so cute. How did he get so lucky? And now he wanted to snatch you away to Snezhnaya even more. He wanted you to meet the rest of his family already.

“Would you wait here for a bit? I want to respond to them right away.”

—

You were just returning home when Kirara popped up out of nowhere, waving something in the air which you immediately recognized to be one of those fancy envelopes Childe always used. You nearly tripped on the trips as she came bounding up to you.

“I’m glad I caught you, [Name]! I’ve successfully delivered your package and have a reply here!” She placed the letter, and also a few hefty bags of what you already knew was Mora. It wasn’t a letter from Childe if he wasn’t trying to spoil you somehow.

“I’m so glad you found him! I hope it wasn’t too much trouble?” Kirara smiled and shook her head.

“He seemed to really miss you. He kept rereading your letter over and over. I think he was kind of disappointed when I didn’t have any news of you…” You couldn’t help but laugh. Childe really lived up to his name sometimes.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m just so happy you could deliver my stuff. Thanks once again!” Kirara bowed deeply and you waved her off.

You decided to sit down on the porch of your house. It was rather beautiful as Childe had purchased the loveliest one he could of course. With extreme care, you opened the letter and began reading.

Dearest [Name],

When I saw this lady with two tails, I thought she would be a great sparring partner. But then when she came up to me bearing a package from you, I was even more surprised! Missed me that much, hmm? Well, you’re not the only one… Waking up to a cold bed isn’t what I prefer.

Passing the time without you has been difficult. Liyue has some good fishing spots, but I miss having you next to me trying not to scream when you finally managed to catch something. Haha, have you been training in that too without me, love?

Anyway, you’re in luck. Teucer somehow got away and is in Liyue again… but I can’t be too mad. He’s been playing with your toys the whole day and making me join him too. Now, I can’t let you give such wonderful gifts to my family and leave you empty-handed! Here’s a couple of million Mora. I know that’s not much, but all the other gifts are stuck in transit… I hope they get there soon. There are clothes, jewelry, books, and, actually, let’s just wait until it comes.

I’m sorry to make you wait so long, baby. You’ve been so understanding of my duty and all, and I know you don’t deserve this. But I promise to make it up to you when I’m back. And, you know, I have been thinking about this for a while. You should come to live in Liyue. We still won’t be together all the time, but I’m stationed there more than the other nations. 

You can use my place to stay, it’s quite luxurious of course, and everyone here is very friendly. Mr. Zhongli in particular would like to meet you. So just think about it, okay? Also, the beach sounds quite nice. I hope you’re ready to be soaking wet because I’m not going to let you get away. (I will be using my Vision. It’s too funny to hear you squeal.)

Speaking of, I hear there’s going to be a festival in Inazuma soon, Yoimiya told me about it. I’ve never been to one, but it sounds rather exciting. There’s even a fighting competition! We should go together. And don’t worry, I’ll win all of the games at the stalls for you.

I have so many things to tell you when I get there. I also have a bunch of souvenirs from my travels too… there’s a story for each one. I hope you’re prepared! I expect to hear every detail about your life, too.

P.S.: I’ll hold you to that threat, comrade. I’ll be counting every single kiss, so don’t think about escaping.

P.P.S.: I’d still destroy you in a snowball fight. But we’ll see when you come to Snezhnaya.

You couldn’t contain your love and jumped up and down, holding the letter to your chest. How could a man be so sweet, charming, kind, and more? The list went on. But you couldn’t help but laugh at his handling of Mora. You had insisted every time he needn’t send you this much money, but alas.

Liyue, huh? You had never stepped foot outside of Inazuma, especially with the previous Vision Hunt Decree, but now perhaps would be a good time to expand your horizons.

Especially when your beloved Ajax was there with you.

[im-totally-not-an-alien-2]

I had a very cursed thought and I'm choosing violence and making it Tumblr's problem:

Bruce had his thing with Talia. It led to the Stabby Child that is Damian.

Except, Damian has 2 dads.

Bruce, biologically his Father, and Daniel James Phantom, brought to their world by the Lazarus Pit, who "convinced Ras to retire" (aka turned his mind to mush through Eldritch Madness of Revelation). Talia took over, and, thinking herself The Chosen One, allowed the guy to court her.

In fact she isn't some Chosen One. She's a badass woman who could kill Danny easily, and he's very into that. And it's not helping that she's very attractive, and her kid is very feral and like to fight, like baby ghosts also like to do.

Eventually the Bats get wind that there's been a Change in Management in the League, and they come to investigate. Bruce expects the worst, Tim is just praying Ras is dead and he can get his spleen back, Jason is mildly disturbed that it might mean Talia is leading the Assassins, and Dick is keeping Gotham safe while the others are out.

They expect a cruel dictatorship, or a mound of corpses piles in a corner.

They did NOT expect to see a tiny Damian fight a guy dressed in League armor, a Cape and a crown of black iron, who could've been Wayne Adoption Bait if he was younger, while the guy laughs and corrects his form. Every blow the child is allowed to land simply passes through him.

Talia got herself a very comfy throne (Danny gifted it to her, saying some cheesy line like "no other would be fit for a Queen like you") made of Starlight and Ice, from which she can watch her on and her Beloved bond and train, while her new and improved League watch on as their Prince takes joy in his training and the pride his parents have in him. Soon he shall move to Gotham to meet his other dad, and learn from him as well, so he may know his family and make his destiny as he wishes.

TLDR: Danny is a simp for strong deadly lady and a good dad to her kid. She's indulging in his attention and caring. The bats are confused. Jason can feel the Ghost Adoption that will be coming his way when Danny "Ghost King" Phantom learns of his existence. The League of Assassins, even while they kill people to maintain Wolrd Order, treat Talia, Danny and Damian like the spies in SpyxFamily act towards Loid and Anya :)

Bruce: *opens his mouth*

Talia: You can't adopt my love

Bruce: *closes mouth*

I go a little feral for Jason viewing Talia as his mom so I am 100% behind Danny adopting Jason. Maybe Tim follows him after learning what Danny did to Ras and let's him have his spleen back, tho only on the condition that his own doctors put it back in. Who knows what Ras has done to it and with ecto involved its better to be safe than sorry. Tim is amazed that they can put the spleen back in at all due to how long its been outside his body.

Is this going to turn Poly with Bruce/Talia/Danny? Cause I'd read that!

Lmao imagine everyone going on vacation in the Ghost Zone. I'd read that too!

[aziraphales-library]

hi hello !! v much appreciate the work you've done and i've enjoyed going through my fave tropes through your tags 🤍

just wanted to ask if you have know of fics that show Crowley and Aziraphale as childhood best friends or basically them as kids? i've checked the kid fic tag but that's mostly about them adopting or taking care of kids. I know there are a bunch of human aus that reference a time they were best friends or knew each other when they were younger and then got reunited, which are great !, but I want to read more of cute Crowley and Aziraphale being friends when they were still kiddos 🙏🏽

Would appreciate any recs! Thank you so muchh !!

Hey. You'll have more luck with our #childhood friends and #high school au tags, so check those out! Here are more to add...

Angelic Lullabies by nemingo (NR)

There was once two kids as different as the sun and the moon. One was kind hearted their head turned to the clouds. The other was... angry. But they did share a common ground. A loveless home. But elements could rage around them, they'd always have a shelter.

You're the One That I Want by emmagrant01 (M)

The Grease AU absolutely no one asked for.

And you've got your demons by liber_solis (T)

In which Aziraphale is the new kid at school and Crowley has a reputation Or They say it has to get worse in order to get better, but no one had warned Crowley about the dangers of making a bet and regretting all his life decisions afterwards. Of course, he should have seen it coming, because it was very difficult to not fall in love with Aziraphale

in your own time by ineffabildaddy (E)

Aziraphale and Crowley grew up together as next-door neighbours on Hogback Lane, classmates at the local Catholic school, and inseparable best friends. By the age of eighteen, both were hopelessly in love with the other, despite the knowledge that they were doomed to live apart, as Crowley aimed to pursue university study in London and Aziraphale committed himself to remaining in Tadfield, dedicating his life to the Church. After almost twenty years spent away from his hometown, renowned botanist Crowley decides to come and visit Tadfield again at a moment's notice; the purpose of his visit is to speak at a Careers Day for the school he and Aziraphale, now a beloved priest and a frequent helper at the school, attended. The twenty-four hours that follow will change both of their lives for ever.

By My Side by Demonicputto (T)

When Crowley is given the chance at a human life (birth to death, family, Free Will, the whole shebang) he takes it. He does this, in part, to protect Aziraphale from being forced to take the same opportunity against his will. However, once Crowley is off on this metaphysical adventure, Aziraphale learns that his friend’s new life is not all that was advertised. To protect a small, amnesic Crowley from a childhood of cruelty, Aziraphale must go after him. If he’s going to do so, he must become human himself. Now in the form of a nine-year-old boy (though with his memories mercifully intact) Aziraphale must navigate adoptive parents, child therapists, and nativity plays to try and provide what protection he can to his dearest companion.

A Careful Kind of Something by hope_in_the_dark (T)

Ezra Seraff and Anthony Crowley aren't exactly what you'd call friends. Yet.

- Mod D

[evilminji]

I just Literally Galaxy Brained :D???

Oh? My? God?

So here I am, on a Star Wars kick, when I Ponder my beloved Danny Phantom. As ya do! Who? I wonder? Could I mix into the star wars universe?

WHEN IT HITS ME.

You know who LOVES kids? Just... will Burn Down Planets for this kid they literally JUST met? Mandolorians. Know where you can find a SHIT ton of those, genetically? The GAR!

Those are CLONES, baby! WE got a Clone! She's feisty and adorable! Smol! Bites! Got them big ol tooka eyes and itty bitty hands! Likes to fly, explore, and fight! She's BASICALLY born for this!

Tell me they would collectively look at this tiny feral child, with her poofy lil hair and chubby cheeks, fangy lil grin and biting tendcy, and go "is BABY!" Come on, tell me. I'll call you a liar.

And you KNOW the Force and Ectoplasm are probably messy EXs. Dani could TOTALLY use they "why should you allow me in? .....because they're not the boss of you" argument to GREAT effect.

Here, Skywalker. Kenobi. Watch this mysterious child... foooooor.... uh, Reasons! Yes. I, the Force, definitely have valid reasons for doing this! I am NOT just being a petty bitch! #SoundsLegit

But? Gasp! The child is a Cadet?! A BABY Clone! Of WHO? A legendary warrior king, from what context they can gather. Made by his enemy. Sent to kill him. Forgiven then adopted. Ooooh, lots of life lessons there. Clone rights and forgiveness and such.

But more IMPORTANTLY, to the GAR?

BABY CLONE! Is BABY!!!

We are ALL Buir now! All of us. Biggest family in the galaxy. Dani is cool with it, congrats New Fenton's! On the Be-Fenton-ing! Tremble in FEAR, scrubs! It's OUR HOUSE NOW!! Mwahahahaha! *cackles from her perch on top of a table*

But... wait... what is that glowing stuff that you're getting low on?

Oh? This? New beloved Highly Unhinged Jedi Friends and Clone Dads? Oh it's just my LIFE SAVING MEDICINE that I NEED TO LIVE that I never told you about! :D

*horrified silence*

*PANIC*

It's okay. It's OKAY! Everybody STOP SCREAMING! W-well just reverse engineer... *machine makes the equivalent of a Dunno noise* FUCK! Okay! New plan! Dani, sweetie, lil warrior, what do you remember about your medicine? What does it DO, exactly?

Unstable clone.

Okay! Okay, that's a start! THEY are stable clones. Right? Right!

.........r-right? Are... are they SURE? Cause, I mean, it's ONE thing when it's just THEIR health on the line... but when it's their YOUNGLING? Their lil tooka Dani? Their ade? Are they SURE? How sure. Bet HER life on it sure?

....no. No they are not. They don't trust the long necks NEARLY that much. Time do do a DEEP deep scan. Best they can find. They got to make SURE. Boba might be the only STABLE clone... assuming the sleemo even told the truth about that.

And? They LEARN some stuff.

Like about the chip in their head's. Supposedly an "inhibitor chip". Sends Skywalker into a karking rage, cause that looks a whole lot like a slave chip to HIM. Dani says they can CHECK. Then doesn't wait for an answer as she sticks her HAND into someone's head to just... pluck it out. Hand it over to be sliced.

Dani, sweetie, c-can you do that for the rest of us? Sure!

But! The race is ON. To either figure out how to contact the original, stabilize Dani, or synthesize Ectoplasm in a universe that DOES NOT HAVE IT. All while unknowingly? Absolutely Fenton CURB STOMPING Ancient Sith Plans into oblivion.

As is the Fenton Way.

This IS The Way~☆

@hdgnj @babbling-babull @the-witchhunter @hypewinter @mutable-manifestation @legitimatesatanspawn @lolottes @spidori

[fungifanart]

Romantically Bankrupt

Characters: Male reader, Yuu!reader, Ruggie Bucchi

CW: Blood/fatal injury, death, heavy angst/whump, hurt/no comfort, angst with a sad ending

Word count: 2.8k

Notes: Happy Pride Month, my fellow queers! Sorry it took me so long to get this done, but I promise it's worth the wait! Also, props to you if you get the reference to a certain other Ruggie fic of mine! ( @lemonchuu / @leichor pspspspspsps) ( And @nemisisnemi pull up a chair)

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Ruggie genuinely can't remember a time when he's felt happier than he does now.

Living comfortably with a stable, high-paying job at the Sunset Savanna palace, thanks to Leona.

Being able to move his grandma into a nicer, safer part of the kingdom and work with government officials to slowly but surely close the gap between the rich and the poor.

And last, but not least: Doing this and so much more with his beloved husband by his side. The man who came to this world with nothing, but still rose from the title of Janitor to the Prefect of Ramshackle dorm and then eventually to the Headmaster of NRC itself.

Y/n.

His handsome, loving Y/n.

The man whom he's sworn his heart and soul to for the rest of their lives.

The man for whom he's used all of his built-up PTO to spend a whole week with starting today, their five year anniversary.

Ruggie flops down into a chair at the kitchen table after finally finishing making his and Y/n's anniversary dinner and waits patiently for his love's return.

Fifteen minutes later, Ruggie's ears perk up at the sound of footsteps approaching and then the front door to his and Y/n's shared living space opening.

"Ruggie, I'm home! Sorry I'm late, I had a phone call that--" Y/n's sentence ends abruptly as Ruggie runs up and surprises him with a tight hug while he's still in the doorway.

"Shihihi! Welcome home!" Ruggie exclaims while nuzzling his face into his husband's neck, "I'll forgive you for being late just this once, seeing as how it's our anniversary! Not to mention how I'd hate for the special dinner I made to go to waste!" He finishes lightheartedly while motioning towards the kitchen.

"Like I'd let that happen! But first, I got something for-" Y/n moves his hand from behind his back only to just realize that it's empty and looks back at Ruggie to see him happily sniffing the bouquet of rhododendrons, begonias and chrysanthemums he'd bought for him.

"Shihihi! You know old habits die hard!" Ruggie quips before placing a tender kiss on his husband's lips, "I love them, dear. Thank you so much."

This tender moment continues in the kitchen where the two men eat their dinner while discussing all manner of things, from how their days were to how their friends are keeping up to how Grim will do as Acting Headmaster while Y/n is away, until the food is finished and they fall into a comfortable silence. A silence which Ruggie breaks upon seeing Y/n begin to fidget nervously.

"Is something wrong, love?" Ruggie asks while placing his hand on the other man's in comfort.

"N-no! It's just that I got some amazing news earlier and it's getting harder and harder to contain myself!" He says with excitement rising up in his voice.

"Well, don't keep me waiting, then! Lay it on me!" Ruggie urges, his curiosity at it's peak.

"Ok ok! So do you remember that phone call I mentioned that made me late?" The other man begins before taking both of Ruggie's hands in his own with a big smile, "It was from the adoption agency! The papers were accepted!! We can adopt a child!!!"

All time seems to stop in the moment it takes Ruggie to process this information before resuming as his face breaks into the biggest smile he's worn all day and he reaches across the table to wrap his husband in a tight hug.

The two remain like this for several minutes, hugging and crying from happiness until they've calmed down enough to separate and look at each other with eyes full of love and adoration.

"I'm so happy that I get to adopt a child with you, Y/n!" Ruggie says elatedly.

"Me too, Ruggie!" The other man responds, "Now, all that's left to do is--"

"W......... ...p..."

Ruggie blinks for a second, unsure of what he'd just heard, "Uh, what was that last part, Y/n?"

"Huh? Well, I was just saying how we need to--"

"W...KE U..."

'There it is again. It sounds far away, but close at the same time...and what is it trying to tell me?' Ruggie thinks as he attempts to clear out his ears with his finger to hear better, "Sorry, my ears are acting weird suddenly, could you say that again?"

The confusion on Y/n's face is quickly accompanied by concern as he reaches forward to check Ruggie for a fever, "Dear, are you feeling alright? Maybe you should--"

"PLEASE, RUGGIE!!! WAKE UP!!!"

The hyena's surroundings begin to melt away into darkness as he hears the voice loud and clear, that of the real Y/n begging him to wake up from this apparent dream, the last thing he sees before doing so being dream Y/n's concerned face dissolving into the darkness.

Ruggie floats in the void of unconsciousness briefly before he feels a pair of hands shaking his shoulders frantically and his eyes flutter open to see the real Y/n's face looking back at him, contorted in desperation that turns into immense relief upon his awakening.

"Ruggie! Oh my god... oh my god. Thank goodness, you're okay!" The Prefect says while pulling the hyena into a tight hug with shaking hands.

"Y-yeah...sorry for worrying you! I'm okay now, though!" Ruggie says while shaking off the drowsiness caused by Malleus's spell and returning his boyfriend's hug.

Ruggie would've preferred that this nice moment go on for a bit longer, but it's instead ruined by the sound of a spell being launched at the two of them and the Prefect instinctively rolling them out of the way.

"Crap, I was so relieved that I almost forgot." The other man says while helping Ruggie stand up and staying close to him protectively, "We managed to severely weaken Malleus in the dream world, but he's not down just yet. Will you help us finish him off?"

And here Ruggie was just getting used to being awake again and suddenly he needs to fight. Typical.

"Shihihi, anything for you, Y/n!" Ruggie says while shaking off the last of the drowsiness, "And besides, I need to pay that guy back for teasing me with something that hasn't happened yet!"

And so, the fight continues as Ruggie and the others lob spell after spell at the weakened fae prince until Malleus's stamina is seeming to reach its limits, which his dormmates and the Prefect use as an opportunity to try to reason with him again.

"MALLEUS-SAMA, PLEASE YOU MUST UNDERSTAND--"

"Malleus, it hurts me too, but this isn't the way to--"

"Malleus, just give it up! This can't go on forever--"

"Lostie, please! This isn't who you are--"

"SILENCE!!!" Malleus yells in one last fit of rage that sends a barrage of thick and sharp thorn vines out in all directions, one of which speeds towards Ruggie faster than he can dodge.

Ruggie closes his eyes and braces for the feeling of the vine tearing into his flesh, when suddenly--

"RUGGIE!!!"

He instead feels a hand pushing him away, hears the Prefect’s voice calling his name in sheer desperation and opens his eyes just in time to see the thorn vine drive itself directly through the other man's stomach as he lets out a blood-curdling scream in pain.

Ruggie's vision turns red at this and the next moments go by in a blur until he comes out of it to the sight of an unconscious and now normal Malleus at his feet.

He has no time to wonder how that happened as he whips his head around to find where his boyfriend is and sees him collapsed on his back in a growing pool of blood with Grim crying his name next to him.

"Y/N!!! No no no no no no--" Ruggie says as he sprints over and slides on his knees to a halt next to him and holds him in his arms, uncaring to how much blood would get on him, "Y/N! Hey!! Talk to me!!! Grim! Go find Professor Crewel or Riddle or someone who can help!"

The direbeast sprints away as the Prefect stirs in Ruggie's arms.

"...*cough* R-Ruggie? You're alright?" He looks at Ruggie with barely focused eyes and coughs up blood on top of the blood already gushing from the gaping hole in his stomach.

"Forget about me! Why'd you do that?!" He practically screams as he shoves his scarf into the wound in a desperate, but vain attempt to stop the bleeding, all survival knowledge having left his brain due to panic.

"S-sorry...*cough* when I saw the vine coming at you, my body moved on its own. I just couldn't bear the thought of you getting hurt..." Y/n says with a small, pathetic smile.

"I-- That's-- Y-you shouldn't-- I-I'm not--" Ruggie tries to argue, to say ANYTHING, but, looking at the ever growing pool of blood around them and hearing the sound of the Prefect’s breathing becoming more labored, all words die in his throat and all he can do is look into his love's eyes while tears pool around his own.

Just as the tears begin to fall, the Prefect reaches up his hand to caress the hyena's cheek, which he takes in his own trembling grasp.

He's scared. So scared.

Ruggie's finally found something, someONE, that his childhood self could only dream of finding and now here he is, slowly but surely slipping away.

His spiraling is interrupted by the Prefect’s weakening voice, "R-Ruggie, there's actually-*cough* s-something I need to tell you in case I-*cough* don't make it..." He says as his words grow more forced.

Ruggie's eyes widen, "H-hey! Don't talk like that! Grim's gonna get Professor Crewel here and you'll be patched up in no--"

"Ruggie...please just listen..." The Prefect says in a weak tone that overpowers the rest of Ruggie's sentence, "If I don't make it, I want you-*cough* to go to my room-*huff* at Ramshackle. T-there's *huff* s-something in the very back of the drawer in my desk that I-*cough* want you to have, ok...?"

Ruggie nods nervously as his grip on his boyfriend's hand tightens, "S-sure, but that's only if you don't make it! Which you will! I mean it!" He says, unsure whether he's trying to convince the Prefect or himself.

"Y-yeah...of course..." The other man responds while turning his gaze straight upwards, "Hey...would you mind-*cough* telling me what you dreamt about...?"

Ruggie blushes in embarrassment thinking about it, "Uuhh...w-well...you and me, we were...uh...living together. I was working at the palace and you were the Headmaster here and...we were...really happy. I'd really like it if that could be our reality someday."

The Prefect continues to stare upwards as his eyes glisten with tears, "That-*cough* sounds wonderful...*huff*...I'd like that too." He rasps as Ruggie can see the tears threatening to spill over, "H-hey, Ruggie?"

"Yeah...?" The hyena responds.

"You k-know I love you, r-right?" He says with a weak, but geniune smile causing Ruggie's heart to skip a beat.

"O-of course! I love you too!" Ruggie responds plainly with no hint of sarcasm or false bravado, just the honest truth.

However, this one statement is what makes the Prefect's tears finally spill over, "Th-that-*sniff*-makes me-*cough* so happy to hear. I love you, Ruggie." The next part, he says in a barely audible whisper, "I wish I could’ve...*huff*...shown you how much..."

Time slows down to a crawl in this moment as Ruggie watches the love of his life close his eyes and feels his hand go limp in his grasp, seemingly at peace.

But not Ruggie.

Ruggie is anything but at peace.

All sound is cut off in this moment to the point that he can't even hear his own voice as he desperately calls out Y/n's name and shakes his shoulders, his heart pounding wildly in his chest.

He only stops upon being pushed away by someone he vaguely recognizes who tells him something he can't hear before putting their ear to the Prefect’s chest and trying all manner of tactics to resuscitate him.

But it's too late.

Ruggie had already guessed this, but the confirmation saps the color from the world around him as the person and a small animal still work feverishly for several minutes.

But it doesn't work.

The end of those several minutes of fruitless work is marked by the person placing their fur coat on top of the Prefect's body.

Ruggie goes fully numb at this, his brain barely registering anything about the world around him and even his own actions as he only realizes he's started walking away upon seeing the faces of people he's pretty sure he knows as they either are only just waking up or nursing their own injuries.

How lucky they are to walk away with their lives, unlike a certain someone. Unlike the one person who mattered.

Ignoring the questions of his peers, Ruggie exits Diasomnia and continues walking.

To where? He doesn't know or care anymore. It's not like Y/n will be there to greet him after all.

The minutes pass by in a blur as Ruggie walks until he finds himself at the gates to Ramshackle, 'Oh yeah, that thing Y/n wanted me to have.' He thinks numbly to himself before entering his boyfriend's dorm.

Walking into the Lounge, the hyena's mind clears enough to see the faces of the dorm's three ghostly residents in front of him who look ready to fire a barrage of questions, but settle on one upon seeing his expression.

"He didn't make it, did he?" The middle ghost asks, all three of their expressions turning crestfallen as Ruggie nods silently, "That's...unfortunate. He probably already told you about his gift for you, so go on up to his room, lad. We won't keep you."

'Like I needed your permission.' Ruggie thinks bitterly to himself.

Upon reaching the room he's been to countless times at this point, Ruggie hesitates, but pushes forward and opens the door, already regretting it as he's bombarded with Y/n's scent and every memory he's made with him rushes through his head relentlessly.

Fighting back the tears and forcing each foot in front of the other, Ruggie eventually makes it to Y/n's desk and opens the drawer, finding it empty save for a single envelope with his name on it leaning against the very back.

Snatching up the envelope, Ruggie opens it and immediately recognizes his boyfriend's handwriting on the paper contained inside.

"Dear Ruggie,

If you're reading this, then it means I'm no longer alive. With how dangerous things have become, I've suspected my death as a possibility for quite some time now, so I wanted to be prepared for this outcome.

As I'm writing, you're currently out working one of your jobs and I still find myself marveling at how hardworking you are. It's one of the qualities that I love and respect the most about you. Just before you left, you mentioned how you'll need to hit the grind harder than ever to provide for your 'darling future husband.' which you probably meant as a joke, but it still made my heart skip a beat to imagine that kind of future for us.

But...regarding the future, I really need to apologize. It seems like I won't be able to fulfill the promise we made before we officially started dating.

I'm sorry. I really and truly am. I don't know how I died, but I can one hundred percent assure you that it was never my intention to leave you like this, because the time we've spent together, however brief, was easily the happiest I've ever been and I sincerely hope that you can say the same.

You may have already noticed a certain something I've left behind this letter, which I had hoped to give to you in person later down the line, but seeing as how that's no longer possible...

It's probably cruel to ask this of you now, but:

Ruggie Bucchi, I love you with all of my heart,

Will you marry me?

Forever yours,

Y/n"

Shoving his hand back into the drawer, Ruggie pulls out one more thing like the letter said, a very small box that he opens to reveal a circle of metal adorned by an even smaller glittering jewel on the top.

A ring.

An engagement ring.

The Prefect was going to stay and he was going to propose to him.

With this revelation, Ruggie's legs finally give out and he drops to his knees, tears falling freely down his face as he tightly clutches the letter and ring box to his chest.

"Yes, Y/n...I will marry you…”

[aethon-recs]

Themed Rec List | Voldemort-Raises-Harry Tomarrymort Recs

One of my favorite Tomarrymort themes is when Voldemort decides to raise Harry (perhaps to thwart the prophecy, or perhaps for other in-universe reasons, such as having shared soulmarks). Below is a selection of beloved fics where Voldemort is Harry's primary caretaker for some or all points during his childhood.

As always, please read the tags before reading any of these fics. There are some fluff and crack fics in this selection, but some of these do cover darker themes.

The flip side of Voldemort raising Harry is when Harry decides to raise Tom Riddle, so that will be the next batch of recs to accompany this one 🤍

*

Voldemort-Raises-Harry Tomarrymort Recs

Antedate by @duplicitywrites (T, 6k, complete)

From infancy, Tom Riddle had a habit of touching his left forearm. Just below the inside of the wrist, fingers trailing down the pale, sensitive skin, brushing along the visible veins right down to the ever-flickering black ink that signified— Signified what, exactly, Tom did not know, and by the time he was old enough to question it, he was also old enough to know better than to ask.

As Portioned from a Whole by @cannibalinc (E, 24k, WIP)

In which Lord Voldemort undermines the Prophecy and raises the infant Harry Potter as His; in all aspects.

Daddy Dearest by @katsitting (E, 24k, complete)

“But daddy, doesn’t it make you uncomfortable? Is that not the first thing you said when I walked in?” Harry began, leaning forward to plant his hands on either side of the desk.

Eulogy by @meles-merrivale (E, 6k, complete)

You run through the things you have to do for the day. It is, admittedly, a very short list. Wake up. Be clean. Be ready. An empty life, some might call it. You don’t. It is the life He has given you, and so it is what you deserve.

Exegesis by liquoricepantomime (M, 38k, WIP)

In exchange for peace, Voldemort asks for Harry Potter. And so, there is a new legacy that forms—of The-Boy-Who-Was-Sold, and his childhood spent in a castle, with a man who has killed his parents. A man who is mad, and whose ire reigns fiery hell. A man he will marry, and yet knows nothing about.

File A by Kushimani (E, 7k, complete)

In a different universe, one in which Voldemort wins, Voldemort finds eight-year-old Harry Potter in the basement of Fenrir Greyback and takes him in, not wanting Harry to go through what he himself had at the orphanage. Perhaps sending Harry there might have been for the best, as Voldemort finds himself having sinful dreams about the boy and terrible urges that he eventually cannot ignore any longer.

In Death, Standby by Sophisme (M, 94k, WIP)

After the infamous massacre of the Potters, young Harry Potter went missing. It doesn't really help that years later he turns up again, a bit darker, stranger and more erratic than anyone had hoped for. But Harry hardly cares, since in the end it's his decision on which side he will fight; Dark, Light or no side at all.

Like My Very Own Blood by @monsieurclavier (E, 13k, WIP)

Minister Riddle won his election in part because he took the extremely charitable path of adopting a war orphan—Harry Potter, the child of a historically Light family—and raising the boy as his own. It was an investment worth making... or it had been, until his quiet, clever son grew into a brilliant, scheming Omega determined to seduce his adoptive father by any means necessary.

Local Dark Lord Upstart Opens Bank Account, Inherits Millions by @duplicitywrites (T, 4k, complete)

A seventeen-year-old Tom Marvolo Riddle walks into Gringotts to open a bank account. The goblin teller says he needs to take an inheritance test before his coffers can flow with gold and his enemies can tremble before him...

Pale Shadow by @crowcrowcrowthing (E, 5k, complete)

Harry was seven years old, so he was much too old to be afraid of monsters. Especially when those monsters were nice and probably just wanted a friend.

The Cherished One by @acciotomriddle (E, 1.5k, complete)

Voldemort chose not to kill Harry that night in Godric’s Hollow, and decided to raise him instead.

They, of Riddle Manor by riddlereading (M, 16k, complete)

Tom Marvolo Riddle shows up at the front door of Riddle Manor, and Cecilia Riddle answers. It changes how Halloween 1981 normally plays out at the Potter house and the fate of the wizarding world as we know it.

This Is Why You Don't Summon Demons, Harry by Kushimani (E, 59k, complete)

Harry Potter is seven when he's left at the nearby church by Petunia to get an exorcism. He becomes curious about a book on the nearby bookshelf, and opens it. That leads to him summoning a demon that he makes a deal with. The demon, Voldemort, will protect him, and in return the demon will devour his soul when it is ripe.

*

[gffa]

It has been a whole entire week since I posted my previous set of recs and guess who is still hip deep in BATFAMILY fic and really wants to cry about feelings about all the Bats and Birds, but most especially my beloved Dick Grayson? I enjoy fic of all the characters, there should hopefully be something for most fans here, I eventually spread my wings a bit (ha ha) through the fandom, but absolutely I feel I should warn you all that I play favorites and I’m not subtle about it. In my defense he’s really annoying in the most delightful way, how could I not love him the most? So, here, have week #2’s recs where I dump 60+ more fics on you because this fandom is on fucking fire with how good it is and how much I love everyone here. God bless fic writers, you are all doing the lord’s work of giving me three novels worth a week to read and knocking it out of the park while you do it. BATFAM FIC RECS - BABY DICK IS THE CUTEST FERAL ROBIN I’M NOT HEARING ANY ARGUMENTS: ✦ The Painful Truth by RascalJoy (DarkQuill), dick & bruce & wally & artemis & m'gann & conner & dinah, 6.2k      In a mission gone wrong, Robin finds himself being forcefully interrogated under…influence. “Now, you’re probably wondering why we haven’t just yanked your mask off and been done with this whole thing, hmm? It’s because this way is so much more fun.” ✦ a home not yet a home by Mayarenerose, dick & bruce, 1.1k      Dick just likes climbing to the roof sometimes. He doesn’t mean anything by it. He doesn’t. He just needs to be high up sometimes. He likes looking at the stars. Stars are hard to come by in the city and you need to be high up to even see them properly. ✦ Friends That Say (You’re Not Alone) by ProsperDemeter, dick & bruce & alfred & clark, 3.5k      Richard. The kid. Richard Grayson. Clark didn’t feel ready to meet the child that Bruce took in. What if he was a mini-Bruce? What in the world would Clark do then? ✦ Taking Flight: A Tragicomedy in Four Acts by WingFeathers, dick & bruce & alfred & clark, 48.7k      John and Mary Grayson die; Dick becomes Robin. This is everything that happens in between, a/k/a, how Gotham City ripped one family and identity from Dick and gave him another. An origin story in the Rebirth spirit, weaving together threads from Tec #40, Dark Victory, Robin: Year One, New 52, and more. ✦ Motion Sickness by Arwriter, dick & bruce & cast, 4.2k      A routine patrol is interrupted when Robin realizes he’s being followed. There’s no attack, no ambush, no weapons drawn. Dick doesn’t understand what this man wants, or why his gentle touch hurts so bad. But Batman seems to know, and Dick just wants someone to tell him what he did wrong. ✦ do as I say (not as I do) by daringyounggrayson, dick & bruce, 1.1k      “Don’t be mad.” Bruce has been raising Dick long enough to know that that sentence never bodes well. Especially when it’s the first thing to pop out of the twelve-year-old’s mouth when Bruce answers the phone. ✦ Burn Rubber by HoodEx, dick & bruce & roy, 3.5k      Roy couldn’t help but feel out of place like his presence was keeping Bruce from acting like himself. Whatever “himself” looked like. Bruce had always been a bit of a cold asshole anytime Roy had been around him. Even when Bruce talked to Dick, there was a barrier there that made their conversations seem strictly business. Some part of Roy had always wondered if Bruce was the same way with Dick at home. For Dick’s sake, he sure hoped not. OR the one where Roy gets to see Bruce act like a dad. Also, there are cars. Lots of cars. ✦ Surprise, You’re Adopted by CamsthiSky, dick & bruce, 1.8k      Dick gets kidnapped. Bruce gets worried. Things turn out alright in the end, though. ✦ without you i am surely the last of my kind by nosecoffee, dick & bruce & clark & j'onn, 6.6k      (Bruce Wayne also knows how it feels to be a scared little boy who just watched his parents die, telepathic mind meddling aside, and has had his eyes fixed on Dick Grayson since his parents fell, so of course he’s going to get him. It’s all he can do.) (Or, Dick Grayson is a traumatised alien empath with bad timing, and Bruce Wayne still needs to learn how to verbalise his emotions.) ✦ The Bone Road by scpnightwing, dick & bruce & alfred, 63.8k wip      By night, Robin was his partner in crime, but once the sun rose, all Dick could be was a mirror of his tragedy, haunting his halls and asking for more than Bruce had in him to give. (The early days of Batman and Robin, and the many mistakes therein) BATFAM FIC RECS - EVERYBODY LOVES DICK: ✦ The Shape Of You (Was Jagged And Weak) by WinterSky101, dick & bruce & jason & tim & slade & cast, 40.6k      Six months ago, Nightwing died. They never found the body. Last week, Deathstroke arrived in Gotham. He brought a partner with him. ✦ We Were Built to Fall Apart by CamsthiSky, dick & bruce & tim, 1.2k      Dick is hurt, tired, and ready to let go. Bruce doesn’t seem to be ready to let him. ✦ It’s a Wonderful Earth-218 by BeatriceEagle, dick & bruce & past dick/babs & cast, 7.4k      As Blüdhaven burns, Dick makes a wish that he’d never been born. He wakes up in a world where that’s true, being followed around by a supervillain who just really wants to get back to taking over the world. ✦ the higher fidelity by birdsofthesoul, dick & bruce & damian, 3.6k      Bruce goes sheet-white, looking like Dick’s just cut him to the quick, and Dick can’t help but think they should have booked a flight, discretion be damned. This — this is why they don’t do road trips. Cars are like confessionals, cramped spaces built for coercing confessions, and neither of them are good with words. ✦ Theory of Relativity by CamsthiSky, dick & bruce & jason & cast, de-aged!dick, 2.2k wip      In which Dick Grayson gets de-aged and everybody freaks out ✦ hold the fort (for i am coming) by deargalileo, dick & bruce & jason & tim & duke, de-aged!dick, 3.6k      Jason’s jaw dropped. The tiny human child toddled in front of him, gripping at his pant legs. Automatically, he bent his knees slightly. The child lost its grip, and fell flat onto its ass. They both froze. The child’s mouth opened and closed soundlessly. “No no no, don’t cry,” Jason rushed out. He leaned down and scooped the child into his arms. “Don’t cry, okay?” The child grabbed onto his shoulder as Jason settled it (him?) onto his upper hip. Big, blue eyes blinked up at him, shining with unshed tears. When the fuck did B have the time to adopt a new kid? ✦ There’s Always Another One by lapsedpacifist, dick & hal (& bruce), 2.5k      After Bruce kicked Dick out, there was a very particular place Dick decided to visit. Well, visit, hide in, it was all one and the same. He could do it without Bruce! Just a shame Hal was finished with his assignment a week earlier than anticipated. ✦ The True Sons of Batman by PandasandDucks13, dick & bruce & damian & jason & talia & cast, 10.8k      What if Dick Grayson was Bruce Wayne’s biological son? ✦ Hey! He Attempted a Coup! by PandasandDucks13, dick & bruce & clark & justice league & zod, 3.1k      What if Dick Grayson was a Kryptonian? ✦ Unsteady by 60sec400, dick & bruce & jason & tim & damian & barbara & cast, 14.8k      Nightwing is 22 when he’s hit by, well, something. They haven’t actually figured that out yet. But now he’s ten years old and a child and Damian struggles to see the man who he had looked to as a father forget who he ever was. De-aged fic. AU. BATFAM FIC RECS - DICK AND DAMIAN WERE THE BEST BATMAN & ROBIN, I’M NOT HEARING ARGUMENTS ABOUT THAT EITHER: ✦ Mirage (What I See In You) by SilverSkiesAtMidnight, dick & damian, 3.4k      Grayson’s gaze flicks upwards to meet his, and suddenly his expression softens. He smiles. “It’s okay,” he says, the movement of his lips clear even if his voice sounds like it’s coming through a broken radio. Suddenly, he’s pressing a rebreather to Damian’s face. His own rebreather, whole and unbroken. ✦ The Dog Days Are Done by fishfingersandjellybabies, dick & damian & cast, 3k      Dick is a good guy. He is. He knows that. Just like he knows that bribing your wayward, animal-loving, emotionally-traumatized brother to come see you with a puppy is exactly what all good guys do. That was a fact. ✦ To the Moon by theLiterator, dick & damian, 9k      A newly resurrected Damian Wayne does not believe Dick Grayson is dead. Spyral has been quietly helping to deal with the aftermath of Leviathan’s reign of terror and is wary of clones. Dick Grayson does not believe Damian Wayne is alive. (Together they fight crime, but’s always been true, hasn’t it?) ✦ Redemption Lies Plainly in Truth by SilverSkiesAtMidnight, dick & damian, 6.2k      Damian tries to pull his wrist out of his grasp. Any other time, Dick would let him go without hesitation, always careful to make sure his personal space is respected. This time, he catches his other wrist as well, gentle but firm as he crouches down to make eye contact. “Hey,” he says, smiling gently. “Do you trust me?” ✦ whether you’re high or low by Anonymous, dick & damian & jason, 1.9k      Dick’s first visit back to Gotham in a while ends with a shattered TV screen and more questions than answers for Damian and Jason. ✦ wrap myself in a thin sheet of ice by emavee, dick & damian, 3.3k      Damian falls victim to a witch’s curse, giving him a week to live before his heart turns to ice. There is a cure, but there’s no way someone like Damian would ever receive a kiss of true love. ✦ as love carries its strength, but not its labels by AlterHarpia, dick & damian, 2.7k      Bruce is on a trip beyond Earth’s Solar System for longer than he intended, making Dick and Damian fall into an old pattern. “I’m not Batman.” A mere reminder, perhaps, but when said to Damian it always sounds like an apology. BATFAM FIC RECS - BATKIDS ALL HAVE MANY SIBLINGS AND THEY’RE ALL PETTY ASSHOLES AND/OR WONDERFUL BABIES AND I LOVE THEM WITH MY WHOLE BEING: ✦ Say Uncle by Megaerakles, tim & jason & bruce & dick & steph & cast, 46.3k      Tim is prepared to take the steps necessary to ensure that Bruce will not feel obligated to adopt Tim when a comatose Jack Drake inevitably dies. But what could be better than preventing Bruce from ending up with a son he doesn’t want? Bringing back the one he does. Jason agrees to the Replacement’s stupid, stupid plan to invite some strange adult man he’s never met to come live with him, if only to keep the idiot alive long enough for him to serve his purpose in the Great Red Hood Revenge Scheme. Might this new roommate situation have an impact on either of their worldviews? Surely not… ✦ Ain’t No Compass, Ain’t No Map by ebjameston, tim & jason & dick & cast, outsider pov, 51.8k      A CPS agent gets sent to investigate a tip that Tim Drake has been abandoned by his parents and is living with the Red Hood. The CPS agent leaves with no Tim Drake, a date with Red Hood’s lieutenant, and an intern who’s promising to fix the IT systems at his office. It’s a weird day for Theo. ✦ The Longer You Stay by emiv, bruce/selina & dick & jason & tim, 64.3k      Bruce Wayne was never meant to be part of Selina’s clean slate. Then again, neither were a circus boy, a street rat or a rich kid. For a girl who didn’t like strings, Selina found herself getting attached. ✦ Falling, Catching by Freezer7, dick & jason/roy, 4k      The call comes in at two thirty-four am, on Dick’s first night off in three weeks. ✦ Piñata by Maximum_Quinn, bruce & dick & jason & tim & cass & steph & duke, 2.2k      “I found… something weird today.” “Weird how?” “I was checking out that half-destroyed apartment building today, and there was, like… papier-mâché everywhere? In Robin colors.” (Duke learns about an odd tradition between the Bats and the Rogues.) ✦ Five Times Dick Was Tim’s Safety Net and One Time Tim Was Dick’s by PrinceJakeFireCake, dick & tim, 5.2k      “Tim forced his gaze away from his phone, took a moment to breathe deeply, then tried to figure out the best way not to die anytime soon. For Bruce. For Alfred. For his friends. For Dick.” Dick has always been there for Tim, even before they knew each other. ✦ wet teeth, shining eyes, glimmering by a fire (who will i be tonight?) by lifetimeoflaughter, dick & jason & cast, 2.3k      They’re standing on a rooftop. It’s not very high up; only about ten floors, give or take. The moon isn’t out tonight. It’s dark. It’s too dark to tell if it’s blood that’s dripping from Jason’s gloved fists. ✦ smeared with oil (like david’s boy) by call_me_steve, bruce & dick & tim & damian, de-aged!damian, 2.1k      Dick’s leaning over the edge of the couch, watching a tired Bruce stare lovingly down at the baby cradled in his arms. The baby’s swaddled in soft green blankets, probably procured by Alfred at some point or another. It’s hard to believe that this is actually Damian- Damian, and his big, bright, brown eyes; his soft, baby hair; his pudgy cheeks and small fingers. Clear of a snarl and frown and, instead, reduced to soft babbles and the occasional giggle. In his chest, Dick’s heart flutters. He feels his breath stop for all of a moment- God, this kid already has him wrapped around his finger. “Can I hold him?” ✦ There in the Sudden Blackness by CamsthiSky, dick & tim & damian, 1.7k      Tim and Dick argue, and at the end, Tim’s not actually sure if either of them actually won. ✦ The Mechanics of a Hug by incogneat_oh, dick & tim & damian & bruce, 4.1k      “So,” Tim ventures. “It's… what, a cuddle pollen?” Bruce just shrugs. “Something like that.” ✦ Taking Care of Business by Nokomis, dick & tim, 1.7k      Tim (only somewhat reluctantly) accompanies Dick on an undercover mission at an Elvis convention. ✦ where were you when I was king in this part of town? by Cerusee, dick & jason & bruce, 4k      The teen sitting next to him had mostly polished off his pork noodles, and he was eyeing Nightwing’s. Nightwing handed them over without a word. “Why,” he said, more to himself than the kid, “why, oh, why do I feel like I know you?” Because you do, came the unbidden thought. ✦ head in the clouds by Alienu, dick & jason & tim & damian, 4.7k      “Hey,” Tim says out of the blue. “Has anyone ever noticed that Damian has, like, weirdly sharp canines?” Dick makes a face. “What?” he asks. Then seems to think about it a little more, and says, “Oh, I mean… kind of? I don’t really pay attention to his teeth.” He turns to Damian. “Robin, let me see your teeth.” The kid growls. “I’m not afraid to bite you, Nightwing.” “Furry,” Jason coughs. Damian throws a batarang at him. ✦ A little more heart and soul by ruesyblues, dick & jason & damian, 2k      What do you do when the brother you raised and loved and left now seems to be withdrawing and you want the best for him but you’re not sure if you did the right thing and oh fuck what if you made a mistake?? (Dick wants Damian to be happy. He just has no clue how to accomplish that.) ✦ To Reconcile by CasualDanger, dick & jason, 2.4k      “Babs slapped me at your funeral.” Jason goes to laugh, but it’s just a cough and his mouth barely even twitches up. “She hated me in that moment. I mean, really, really hated me, like I did Talia after I found out Damian had died. And I wondered,” his voice cracks, eyes glassy now, “did you hate anyone when I was gone? Because I was gone?” ✦ damian clone triplets!!! by drakefeathers, dick & bruce & damian, 2.1k      Bruce finds and rescues three baby Damian clones~!!! babies~!! ✦ fear toxin (◡‿◡✿) by drakefeathers, dick & bruce & jason & tim & cass & steph & damian & alfred, 3.6k      six drabbles about batkids crying and screaming after being dosed with scarecrow’s fear gas~ (⊙‿⊙✿) ✦ Two Birds, One Stone(d) by MichaBerry, tim(/kon) & bruce & dick & jason & alfred, 5.8k      After a drugs bust gone sideways, Tim is a very high little bird. Cue shenanigans and family bonding. BATFAM FIC RECS - I WILL DIE ON THE HILL THAT TIM DRAKE’S TRUE LOVE INTEREST IS CONNER KENT AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME, NOT EVEN GOD: ✦ Trust fall by Ididloveyou_once, tim/kon & damian/jon & dick & jason & bruce & cast, nsfw, 22.4k      Damian was… here. At Kent Farm. Dressed in the too-big Batman pajamas that Dick had bought him last Christmas as a joke. And- And- Tim was wearing Kon’s t-shirt and his hair was messy and his lips were swollen and- He wasn’t ready for this- He wasn’t- He couldn’t- BATFAM FIC RECS - TAKE THE ANGST DIAL, TURN IT UP TO ELEVEN, AND BREAK THE KNOB OFF, THAT’S WHAT I’M HERE FOR: ✦ Hard Truths and Other Realities by CKBookish, dick & bruce & jason & clark & wally & cast, 113.6k wip      Clark shifted his weight making the floorboards creak and groan under his feet. “Dick I hate to see you–” He paused searching for the right word. Dick snorted. “Wallow?” Clark sighed. “That’s not what I was going to say.” “I know. I can go to the barn and hang out there if I’m bothering you and Lois.” Dick pushed himself up. Of course he should have thought of that. Lois didn’t want some random teen laying around her home on Christmas Eve. ✦ You Won’t Wake Up Alone by DawnsEternalLight, dick & bruce & damian & jason & tim, 5.2k      Dick’s captured and drugged and probably about to die. The last thing he wants to do is die in front of his family, especially not his baby brothers, all he wants is to be with Bruce and feel safe again. ✦ The Robin Manual by lurkinglurkerwholurks, dick & bruce & damian, 2.3k      Bad days were nothing new. Most of the time, he could feel them coming the way a swimmer could feel the approach of something huge beneath the surface of the water. The pressure would start to build, tugging at him like undertow by the shore, and it was always a gamble to see how long he could tarry before the pull yanked him under. ✦ the world is ending and i’m still numb by Arwriter, dick & bruce & jason & tim & alfred & cass & stephanie & damian & barbara & duke & cast, rape aftermath/read the tags, 20.7k      She’s gone, and he’s home, but Dick doesn’t know how to move on. He isn’t alone, but that doesn’t mean he knows how to ask for help. ✦ Up High by CamsthiSky, dick & damian, ~1k      “Grayson, what are you doing up here?” Dick shrugs, a sad smile pulling at his lips. He’d stopped asking that when his feet first started to take him up here years ago. “I like the view.” ✦ here comes the rain again by pocketofsky, dick & jason & tim & damian, rape aftermath/read the tags, 14.1k      Dick doesn’t patrol when it rains. Not since Blüdhaven. And everyone knows that, but they don’t know why. Or: Dick slowly but surely confronts his trauma. Now featuring: a train, pain, and a lot of rain. ✦ Happy Little Bluebirds Fly Beyond the Rainbow (Why Oh Why Can’t I) by honeycombclaire, dick & bruce & jason & tim & damian & cass, 26.9k      After being subjected to the Mad Hatter’s dream machine, Dick gets stuck in a dream world where he finally has everything he wants. His parents are alive, his family is together, and he still gets to be Nightwing. Everything is perfect. Using the machine, the Bats invade Dick’s mind to bring him back. They don’t expect to find out just how much Dick has been hurting. ✦ Maybe, just maybe, he should call Bruce…Nah. by memearchive, dick & bruce & jason & tim, rape aftermath/read the tags, 5.8k      “Yeah, 34 deaths, 35 including Blockbuster, is a lot. Yeah, his home and everything he owns is gone. Yeah, his safehouses and everything in those are all ash, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he gets it- but he’s dealt with loss before, and maybe 34 is a bit high, and maybe he could have stopped Tarantula, but he’s never been like this before. Not even after his parents’ deaths, and that’s a terrifying thought. Was this really the thing that broke him?” ✦ right through my walls by wingdingery, dick & bruce & barbara & jason & alfred, 6.6k      Sure, yes, Bruce and Jason attacked Dick and left him injured—but they were under the effects of fear toxin, so it wasn’t really them. Dick’s gone enough rounds with fear toxin to understand that. He’s perfectly fine with what happened. Now if only the rest of the family would believe him. ✦ gray by iselsis, dick & bruce, 1k      Grief demands to be felt, but Dick doesn’t have to be alone. ✦ How Far Love Goes by BeatriceEagle, bruce & dick & jason & tim & cass & barbara, comics violence as child abuse/read the tags, 99.5k      Plenty of family reunions end in fighting. Not that many end in explosions. A mass Arkham breakout brings all of Bruce’s children home, and with them, all the drama, secrets, and anger they’ve been keeping for years. Amidst rising tensions and a mysterious new threat in Gotham, the family has to work together to round up the rogues—and confront their feelings about each other. BATFAM FIC RECS - THROW BABY DICK AT BATTISON, C'MON DO IT, IT’LL BE HILARIOUS: ✦ romanticize a quiet life by lwbones123, dick & bruce & alfred, 3.7k      it’s parent teacher conference day for battinson and his robin ✦ when i call you come home by lwbones123, dick & bruce & alfred & jim, 3.2k      ummm battinson and his robin and angst and hurt/comfort idk how to summarize this one so you just have to trust me ✦ Dark by Cant_Smoke_Eggs, dick & bruce & alfred, 1.9k      aka Baby Dickie thinks Bruce is a Vampire. Bruce thinks he’s figured out he’s Batman. Misunderstandings and Identity reveals ensue. ✦ Just Two Dads Having a Chat by red_jaebyrd, dick & bruce & clark & kon, 1.5k      “I’m not giving you an interview, Kent.” “You always say that, and I always tell you that I’m not here for an interview,” Kent laughed, not at all bothered by Bruce’s aloofness. “We’re just two dads at soccer practice having a chat.” ✦ I Don’t Think Like I Should by shipNslash, jim & barbara & dick & bruce & cast, 13.2k      Featuring unmasking vigilantes as a father-daughter bonding activity, awkward small talk between two dads (both at crime scenes and PTA meetings), and Babs and Dick’s natural progression from classmates to besties in the name of chaos. This is a direct sequel to I’m a Good Pretender but can be read as a stand alone.