#saw this in my drafts and was like holy shit this post is so funny who is it from. oh it's mine

[faksyan]

One of the funniest metal gear 2 screenshots to me. he really was.

[timesomewhere]

in honour of the West End's next to normal closing today I've finally proof-read my 'things I noticed/general thoughts' post that's been sitting in my drafts since I saw it earlier this month. it's very long I'm very sorry.

Act One:

it was really fun watching this show in September given that there's two references to it in the first song

I adore the monologue about the pills that Dr. Fine gives during 'Who's Crazy'. it's rhythmic and funny yet also unnerving. It's such a quick and impactful way to summarise what Diana has been through for the past 16 years

Gabe does a 'one of your French girls' pose on the kitchen counter under the cabinets during 'My Psychopharmacologist and I'

Jamie Parker made direct eye contact with me during the last part of 'Who's Crazy' and it was one of the most intense experiences of my life

I might just be dense but I don't get the point of the neon sign that says 'Fine' which drops down during the Dr. Fine scene. Initially I thought that then one would drop down saying 'Madden' during his scenes to help people differentiate between the doctors but then it didn't so it just feels like a weird extra prop

speaking of random props, shout out to the iPad on the table in the opening scene which Gabe pretty much instantly takes away after telling Diana that she shouldn't obsess over tragic news stories and is then never seen again as far as I remember

Dan in the flashback scene being such an optimist about Diana's pregnancy and the future they're gonna have together... soul-crushing

Caissie Levy's 'I Miss The Mountains.' Holy Shit.

I love how Diana and Gabe are the only characters who sing on/stand on the table. it's as though it's this extra dimension of the house that only they have access to and it's a really neat and subtle way to show that they relate to each other in ways other characters don't

'It's Gonna Be Good' is so underrated. Jamie Parker's somewhat genuine optimism becoming optimism-through-gritted-teeth is incredibly acted

The way Jamie delivers the first line of 'He's Not Here' is devastating. the heaviness of that moment as you feel the audience around you realising what's just happened is something I'll remember forever

Gabe body-blocking Dan from Diana during 'I Am the One' is such good staging. People talk about how Jack Wolfe plays Gabe with a lot of layers and a lot of simultaneous contradiction and this song is one of the best examples of that. how Jack manages to project a character who is goading his father and protecting his mother at the same time is beyond me

also Jack has maybe half-an-inch on Jamie which obviously isn't something the actors control but it does makes Gabe seem just that bit more threatening when he's getting in Dan's face

for the first part of Superboy and the Invisible Girl when it's just Natalie singing, Gabe is actively laughing. He's totally unperturbed by her efforts to make herself seen to her mother. it's only when Diana replies, particularly when she says "you're our little pride and joy, our perfect plan" that you see his face drop and you see him trying to figure out a way to stop her from getting Diana's attention which then results in him kicking her off the melody in her own song

"I'll hurt you" being directed at Dan and "I'll heal you" being directed at Diana as Gabe gently touches her face gets me so bad. but the most painful part of 'I'm Alive' for me is when Gabe looks at Dan as he says "I'm the perfect stranger who knows you too well." that's the first time you realise that perhaps Gabe doesn't just impact Diana, and there's something much larger at play

Caissie and Jack W's voices harmonising on 'Catch Me I'm Falling' was one of my favourite parts of the whole show. Their voices are so magical together and their mother/son chemistry is incredible

The 'I Dreamed A Dance' into 'There's a World' sequence is one of the most tragically beautiful things I've ever witnessed. I went into the show knowing what Gabe was trying to achieve during 'There's A World' and yet Jack's voice is so beautifully haunting you totally forget you're supposed to root against Gabe in that moment

Jamie Parker's 'I've Been' is some of the best acting through song out there. Interestingly my friend and I had very different interpretation's of what Gabe's horrified reaction to the blood meant. I viewed it as him being upset about what he convinced Diana to do - he doesn't like seeing her hurt. Whereas my friend saw it as him being angry at himself that she didn't manage to follow through, meaning that he has failed to regain control over her life

'I'm no sociopath, I'm no Sylvia Plath. I ain't no Frances Farmer kind of find for you' is one of the best musical theatre lyrics of all time. I genuinely don't know why I Miss The Mountains is the 'big song' known from N2N over 'Didn't I See This Movie?', it's just so good

Natalie's 'She trusts you!' line is heartbreaking, I was basically watching that entire scene through my fingers because of how high the emotion was

Act Two:

'Pfizer's woman of the year' will in fact be peak comedy every time. Eleanor's delivery is *chef's kiss*

Gabe having just one line in 'Wish I Were Here', and that line being 'Wish I were here.' Yeah. I feel very normal about that.

Natalie's line of "Can I hide my stupid hunger, fake some confidence and cheer?" being pretty much exactly what Gabe has done throughout the entirety of act 1

"And you're not a scary rockstar anymore" got one of the biggest laughs at both of the shows I went to

Dan's desperation during 'Better Than Before.' He is simultaneously trying to cajole Diana into remembering and get Natalie to be more positive. This one song really highlights how he's being pulled in a million different directions while trying to hold it all together and Jamie portrays that so well

Aftershocks. Wow. The way the last word of each line echoes throughout the theatre is great sound design. I've been in exam halls louder than the audience during that song. Holding a room that captive as a silhouette is quite the feat Jack Wolfe you will always be famous

"I don't know where the fucking pieces go" as Diana pushes things off the table as if there's a real jigsaw there that she's rage quitting and choosing to give up on is such a nice detail

"Have you talked of your depression, your delusions and your son?" The gasp in the theatre both times was sickening

the response of "good' in reply to "name?" when technically that was part of his name as they are the "Goodmans". I don't really have a point here I just think it's neat

The 'It's Gonna Be Good" reprise was one of my favourite Dan/Diana moments. Caissie and Jamie are really pushing each other to their emotional limits and they handle it so well

The first "Why stay?" is so fragile as Diana sits against the kitchen island. Also interesting given that Dan and Gabe will also sit against there later when they are at their lowest point in the story. The idea of the characters crawling to the 'centre/heart' of the home when they are at their weakest

"This is one old game that I can play so well" is the line that has stuck the most with me throughout the show. Jack's delivery of it while striding across the kitchen table - seemingly totally invincible - is crazy.

how Caissie manages to deliver "you shrugged and said that no one really knows" with humour and desperation at the same time is amazing

When Gabe and Diana stand on the table and if they let go of one another they'll fall. yeahhhhh.....

Gabe's realisation that Diana isn't going to give up on getting better. Totally collapsing in on himself and beginning to cry. How you manage to feel bad for him after all the destruction he's caused is wild

Diana's "maybe I'm tired of the game" relating back to Gabe's "this is one old game that I can play so well"

the lyrics in 'Hey #3' clearly reflecting things Diana has done, Henry cutting Natalie off at "bleeding in the bathtub"

"I am the one who'll heal you" being said to Dan not Diana this time

"Why didn't you go with her?" is the most devastating line in the whole musical I said what I said. Jamie's delivery of it is heart wrenching

the drums and bass kicking in for the loud part of I Am The One as Gabe becomes desperate to be seen once again

Jack and Jamie's acting in this moment is so intense. there's a moment where it's genuinely feels as though only one of them can make it out of the interaction alive

Jack's emphasis on the word 'loved' in the line "I am the one who loved you" nearly killed me on the spot. how somebody can deliver a line so desperately while remaining pitch perfect is unfair

Natalie coming in to kiss Dan's head at the start of 'Light' like Gabe kisses Diana's in the first scene. I'm such a sucker for a gut punching

the "And are they real?" line about Diana's parent's from Henry gets such a loud reaction from the audience. Some people laugh immediately, some people clearly get shocked out of their sobs. so good

In conclusion, this is my favourite musical of all time and I'm going to be so annoying waiting for the pro-shot to come out

[1989stanz]

Michael X Cassie

The Naturals

Ok. Hear. Me. Out. It's been a couple months since I last posted something here (I'm writing something, but it's still not finished because procrastination and school). However, today I was looking through my drafts and I found something interesting. I wrote it when I was reading The Naturals and I was still team Micheal (crucify me if you want to, but he's hot 🤷‍♀️). I'm not even team Micheal anymore because ✨DEAN ✨, but I thought it would be funny to share what I wrote back then.

It's like a remake of the scene in the forest in book two. When I read this scene, I thought "What if Michael was the one who found her? How would that go?" And I built this remake based on these questions.

ANYWAY, LET'S QUIT ALL THIS TED TALK AND ACTUALLY SHOW YOU WHAT I WANT TO.

(have fun‼️💪)

Word count: who cares?

(English is not my first language, so I apologize if there are mistakes here and there.)

Briggs helped me to my feet. “My team’s on their way in,” he said. “We left straight from the house, so we had a head start.” We?

“Cassie.” I knew who it was before I saw him. The boy who asked me to guess how he liked his eggs cooked when I first met him. The one who read others emotions like a book, but preferred to hide his. The guy that didn't like to want things, but made it clear that he wanted me and only me.

Michael.

Sometimes it was impossible to know how he was feeling just by glancing at his face, but his voice already told me everything thing I needed to know—every single emotion he was feeling. Worry. Shock. Relief. Hope.

The fact that he didn't use my nickname didn't go unnoticed. His face was pure relief and, when he settled his eyes on me, his eyes twisted in a way that told me he didn't expect to find me in this condition.

The narrowing in his eyebrows told me something more, another feeling, hiding in the mix of emotions he was feeling. Anger. I guessed that if Webber wasn't already dead, Michael would strangle him with his bare hands in a couple of minutes.

“Holy shit. I thought he would kill you.” Michael ran towards me, squeezing my whole body in a bone crushing hug that took all the breath in my lungs away. I tapped him in the arm and his arms began to loosen up a bit, but I still couldn't breathe right.

“I thought too, but Briggs came in time.” I looked at his face, grabbing it with both of my hands. My fingers started tracing the corners of his face, my mind now hungry for something familiar. Something real. Someone to trust.

His hands were by his side, but I judged by the way his eyes were moving that he was tracing every part of my face too, trying to see how bad my injuries were. I saw the way his eyes softened when he was analyzing them, but there was a subtle change when his eyes were looking at the rest of my face.

A feeling that sometimes I caught in his face when he wasn't hiding it.

It was love, affection. And still a bit of concern.

“Where are the others?” my voice came harsh, my thumb whipped the tear that fell down his right eye. His eyes were full of tears that were begging to emerge, to be dropped.

“They are at the house. And by the way it was Sloane's idea to activate the tracker. Everyone wanted to come, even Dean tried to sneak into Briggs' car, but Judd was glued on him. I just simply followed Briggs with my car.” he swallowed dryly, “I just had to came here, to look at you. You don't understand, Cassie.”

And that look was on his face again. I never noticed before, but Dean looks at me like he's just staring at something trivial like an object—something he wanted to ignore but couldn't. Badly. But Michael was eyeing me like I had the universe in my hands. And I couldn't stop thinking that I couldn't deny anymore how I had the sensation that my heart was about to explode when he was nearby. How, when everytime I tried to deny it, it became harder and harder with time to hide it.

Not that I was really putting effort, since he would know any affection that I might have for him with one look at my face.

He said that he would give me time, that he would be patient while I was trying to figure out how I felt about him and Dean. But I was done trying. I knew the answer, and he had waited for a long time to know about it.

“What happened?” Michael asked, his arms still wrapped around me and holding my body like I was about to vanish into thin air if he let me go. I didn't protest. His eyes were still on my injuries, so that would explain how he didn't see the new rush of certainty that crossed my face.

“I hit him in the head with a rock. Then, I jumped off a tree on him.” His eyes followed mine up to the tree I climbed, and his lips twitched in a smile well known.

“I should have expected.” his face turned to mine again, this time there was a glow in his eyes. “The asshole deserved the hell you mad him go through.”

He was smiling at me, and it was just then that I noticed how my hands were shaking from what happened.

The gun to my hand. Webber's voice saying how he killed his victims. Agent Sterling's last words to me before I left the cabin. It was all in my head, screaming.

And of course, Michael noticed the look in my face. “Hey, it's ok. We're ok. He's dead right now and won't ever hurt you again.” He used one of his hands that were planted in my waist to move away one of my hands from his face, cupping my face with one hand and pulling me closer with his other.

“I'm fine,” I told him uselessly.

“You're not, but I don't expect you to be. You can be fine later.” His words made me calmer, almost silencing the noise in my head. Almost. I knew a way to keep them away.

Wasting no more time, I pulled him by the hair, the space between us closing, and he kissed me desperately. Then, I realized he wasn't joking when he thought I was about to die, because he was kissing me like I came back from the death.

The hand on my waist was drawing small circles and the one on my face was holding my chin. Holding me gently and kissing me like it was my last kiss. My hands were initially on his neck, and when they moved to his hair I pictured him in every single situation with me.

At the restaurant. Picking me up in my house with his Porch. Him pissing Dean off. The look on his face when he asked me if I'd kiss him if Lia dared me to do it. Him actually kissing me after that. How he followed me without hesitation, knowing that a killer was after me. Saying that he would be patient and wait for me, but once his lips were on mine, my hands buried in his hair—all I would think about would be him.

And oh God, he was right. So fucking right.

My knees were almost giving up, his hands the only thing keeping me in place. He only stopped when my lips were sore, my tongue numb, and glanced at me, taking deep breaths. Analyzing my face, his hair a mess. Whatever he found, he just smilled at me. My lips tried to mimic his gesture, but it was still weird to smile. And I wondered for how long it would stay this way, for how long Webber's actions would haunt me. How many night of sleep I would waste pacing, thinking and wondering. How it would feel strange having to act normal after what just happened. Would I ever be able to forget him?

No. I'd have to forget Locke first, what's impossible. They'd always be in my mind, some days taking control of it, some days just in the corner of my brain waiting to haunt me again.

“I think we should come back to the cabin.” I said, and Michael followed me without any questions, holding my hand. He must have read the expression in my face and knew that now I needed answers to keep me distracted from what happened in the trees. I couldn't allow myself to feel scared right now, but I knew who I could go to if I needed support.

I could go to the boy that learned how to read emotions to save himself. To the one that wasn't open with others, but it was different with me. The one that casually said he likes Jane Austen.

Michael.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

HI. MACKERELMORE. nhw trickster. killington. amity. the chaos zone. deadwood. new and funny and interesting ways to slaughter people. tide clone shit. bonesaw boiling the failed clones alive. muse. trickster using muse to do shit like u just saw in killington. the wards seeing the trickster using muse to execute people in ways Like That. holds up mic!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOD. THERES SO MUCH GOOD FUCKING FOOD FOR NHW IN THE CHAPTERS I READ EARLIER. fuck. god. shit. okay.

starting with the trickster bc i feel like when i get into tides stuff ill talk for 10 years. ohhhhh my god dude as soon as they walked into a town called fucking KILLINGTON ????? i was like. god thats a joke trickster would make huh!!!!! hed think thats so fucking funny. (and it is. but only to me who has the advantage of seeing this as a narrative and not a real event i am experiencing. fucking hilarious shit. killington??!?!?!?!? killington. ) i have a lot of thoughts about the shit he did to Amity before he escaped and like. yeah. fuckin yeah. i dont think he wouldve killed Everyone in the city (gotta have. puppets to play with and also like. people who hes not controlling to chase around and hunt for sport) (this is fucking terrifying and awful! this is so bad! like catastrophically so!) but i definitely think when the wards go to amity (because i want them to do that so bad at some point) i think it will be in sort of a similar state to this with like. bodies strung up like decorations. graffiti made from fuckign. ash and blood and paint all mixed together. really obviously placed traps. etc etc etc. jsut like. evidence that this place is like his fucking playground! horrifying!

anyway yeah also muse holy shit. muse has to singlehandedly raze at least one fuckign town. for sure. dude dude like that fucking video jack had where they had everyone gathered together before they started killing them? that but with trickster and muse? and its . more fucking scary because instead of 200+ slaughterhouse 9 clones its literally JUST trickster and muse. and whatever random handful of puppets trickster is controlling around the edge of the crowd for extra sets of hands.. aauogaouguguhhghhhgh. i need them to do horrific shit.

OKAY. CLONE TIME. CLONE TIM.E . OUGHGHHGHGH TIIIIDE. TIIIIIIIIDE. how many failed clones do you htink there were. how many failed clones to make tide and magma. do you think they know about the failed clones. they got fucking BOILED ALIVE. do u think tide and magma ever see any of the other clones before theyre ready and they have to look at their own fucking faces (face?) and think about that. i still have that post abt the lambert family in my drafts god i need 2 finish that but. in my mind tide and magma are the oldest (technically magma is the oldest but tide was like. a year or less after him so theyre closer in age) and then it was. seismic and whirlwind at the same time so theyre twins. and then shockwave. and then elle. so i think tide and magma have that Eldest Sibling bond where they have. Issues that are parallel to each other. and a LOT of that comes from being endbringer juniors and a lot of that comes from being clones. but where magma got closed off and aloof about it tide like. desperately clung to kindness bc he doesnt like when people are scared of him. anyway im getting distracted. FUCKING CLOOOOOONE SHIT. CLONE LORE. WORM CLONE LORE. THE WHOLE LIKE. either implanting false memories from other people or needing to raise them from scratch????? thats fucking insane. oh my god. what the fuck kind of memories do u think they got. obviously a lot from dr lambert but like. man. do u think the endbringer thing is like baked into their fucking memories. its in their dna. i didnt quite understand the bit about bonesaw trying to give them their powers but if altering memories can alter what sorts of powers they get...... do the endbringers have dna. do u think tide and magma got endbringer dna in them. that would be sick (both in the sick meaning cool way and in the im gonna make myself sick way). actually that brings up the point. are the endbringers even organic??????????? or are they constructs?????????? since they were confirmed created by someone/something....... man. MANY THOUHGST HEAD FULL. HAVING A LOT OF EMOTIONS ABOUT NHW TIDE. bonesaw boiled the failed clones alive. i dont . i dont think tide and magma were ever *kids* (which is like. ow.) but like. god im just imagining the part in trigun where vash and knives find whats left of tesla. holy shit dude. do you see my vision here

[snonkerdoodlefizzy221b]

tg callsign generator. used my online name and the first surname that popped into my head. don't really like so I'll try again with..a different name! Rate: 4/10

(because I accidentally deleted the draft. Ehhh...Rate: 2/10

Ooh I like this one!!! Rate 7/10

Ok ngl this one is funny because I saw the top gun Hollywood vs zippers post. And it would be funny as a callsign. Rate: 6/10

FANCY!!!! GOT A CALLSIGN FROM THE MOVIE WITH THIS ONE!! Rate 8/10

Not bad! Kinda like it actually. Uhh Rate 7/10

I am such a sucker for this one. HOLY SHIT. rate 9/10

Generator used:

It's pretty good! Just doesn't strike me as a "me" vibe tho. Rate 8.5/10

My callsign is not fucking Luigi. Rate 1/10

(also Rory is not my irl name either. self insert OC and I'm actually not even sure if she exists or not. Guess there's no turning back now.)

[thewatchingbirds]

I AM THE CREATOR OF THE GREEN ALEXIGENDER FLAG AND I AM SORRY.

very panicked not really second drafted post bc oh my god it’s been years i’ve finally gathered enough courage to make some sort of public deal out of it. i want to say from the bottom of my heart that i am Sorry.

i’m definitely a grown person and not the little shit i was when i made this flag and put it out onto the internet so please, please understand that. i’ve been rotting in so much guilt i am so sorry.

to preface am not alexigender and i currently identify as a cis woman (though i’ve been questioning my gender a lot it’s what i’ve been identifying with. and it’s what i identified as when i created the flag) and i created that flag when i was an edgy 14 year old (i think? i was around that age) on exclus twitter

(it’s worth noting that i don’t consider myself exclus now )

another important piece of information is that my name is Alexi. you can kind of see where i’m going with this.

i thought, in my infinite 14 year old wisdom, it’d be a stellar idea to create a pride flag representing me. it’s a cute idea right? unfortunately i was painfully unfunny and the stripe meanings were this (iliketomboys was my username at the time)

it’s very… 14 year old made this. i thought that my picsart creation was so funny.

a little while later when my “questioning my gender” era was starting i decided to go to the holy grail of self discovery: online gender quizzes. after a while i found one where i had to assign the right flags to the right gender identities and that’s where i discovered it.

Alexigender. my very own gender. it’s me!! Alexi! Gender! i thought it was hilarious since i never see my name anywhere and the one time i do it’s this one random gender identity i’d never heard of?

i went to the fandom wiki and was like… what if i added my flag? as a joke? so i did. i added my flag.

(taken from my old instagram account)

and then i didn’t look at it for like a year. i remembered that hey i have a pride flag and i went to check the wiki to go see if it was still up and it was… well it sure was! and more!

i saw people making tiktoks with it and having profile pictures with it in and i saw merchandise of it!! actual literal merchandise of my flag!! it was the top result on google at one point!! i saw it being used as icons for FANDOMS *IM* IN.

i felt terribly, terribly guilty for doing this since the white stripe LITERALLY MEANS !???!!? “CUMMIES?!!?” SO I NEEEDED TO MAKE AOME AORT OF APOLOGY. so yeah.

pls don’t be harsh on me i am genuinely so sorry.

also i’m not saying never to use the flag again. you guys can totally keep the flag!! change the stripe meanings, reclaim it! i just wanted to let you guys in on the history of your flag.

[temporalreverie]

helpppp im too affirmed my posters disease i was a notes app girlie to get my ass off X posting porn on Twitter lol not rlly but like the stupid name um. But then i started posting in tingles <- tumblr. And getting friends and active followers and being way more comfortable talking to people using this site and being friendly and enjoying now I'm soooo affirmed by being qgle to post my stupid random thoughts online again. This would be a notes app for realsies but it's here instead ok

roadmore

readnore

Ayyyyy tehre we go. It's colors BTW like a discord emoji no underscores (I'm on mobile). Okay I saw a bigger quarter sized spider and im sorry i alerted the guards and she was slain u_u (btw I'm using pensive emoticons over emojis recently and loving it) to be fair I.m not in a state to physically content with it if I gets scared and starts running even if I wanted to take it outside. But nobody was responding I literally thought I was trapped in the spider dimension for a second.

I just made whole caff coffee instead of half or decqff and it's like 9pm.tje responsible me would have poured some of it out or wouldn't finish it but mmmm coffee. It's not too late to do that but 👀 Plus can everyone tell. Hi I told everyone and they're all made at you

I need to find my draft

I told everyone

Im already prone to sudden bouts of euphoria and rambling so i srsly don't think they can tell. It would be fine if i did get brought up but I'm getting off on having harmless secrets bc i've been conditioned to be like this for decades :( but this one is funny and it'll only get funnier the longer it goes in when i finally drop the ball casually in conversation B)

Pikmin tunes go hard i almost perfected the treasure board. Holy shit earlier I was so confused bc i kept getting surprised fucked up be the second floors of the second to last row then picking a different one and not being able to remember.

For anyone not in the loop I will be okag and I am okay :D im just praying to pinkie pie real quick

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

Badass || Bill Denbrough x Reader

Day 2 of Fictober

Pairing: Bill Denbrough x [gn] Reader

Requested: how about you do a bill x reader where the reader is a badass but still in the losers club???? just came up with it!!! btw love ya work and love ya!!!!

A//n: Aw thank you so much! That’s so sweet of you. Love you too darling, hope you like it 💛💛💛 and thanks for being so patient like the rest y'all 😘 [also i am in no way a badass so I’m sorry, I tried lol] edit: OKAY IM ACTUALLY SO PROUD OF THIS, HOLY CRAP?? And again, i finished and pressed saved draft 30 SECONDS before midnight, so fight me this counts lol i just had to set up the title and tags and stuff on my computer before posting. anyways, thanks for waiting for this request, i hope you enjoy this, like i said, im actually surprised at how proud of this one i am!

Fictober Prompt: “that’s the easy part”

Warnings: Blood

“ROCK WAR~!”

The next thing you knew, rocks were soaring across the stream straight for your head. Luckily for your skull, your reflexes were faster than you remembered and you managed to duck before a giant stone could knock you out.

And yet you still heard a thump?

You peek out from behind your arms, looking behind you to see Richie laying flat on his ass, his glasses askew. You winced before you caught sight of a giant rock near his foot and quickly made a grab for it.

Your glare stretches across the stream, settling on the leader of the bigoted pack. You kissed the rock as you met his eye, a devilish smirk stretching across your face as you wound up. Bowers was scrambling for ammo but you had already released. The rock found its target with a satisfying ‘thunk’ leaving Bowers on his ass clutching his bleeding nose. He pulls his hand away, gaping at the overwhelming amount of blood that had already painted his hand before locking eyes with you.

“KISS MY ASS, HENRY!” You hollered with a triumphant smile. “YOU TWISTED FUCK!”

“What the fuck?” Belch and Victor began scrambling back, looking around desperately for rocks of their own.

The Losers spared wide eyed glances your direction as they unleashed a storm of rocks on the now deeply unsettled Bowers gang. Bill was the only one who hesitated, his wide blue eyes frozen on you when you turned to give him a smirk. You had been looking for ammo and it seemed he had the perfect one. You cocked a brow, your devilish smirk still dominating your face as you gestured to the stone in his hand.

“You gonna use that, Billy Boy?”

You threw a few quick glances across the barrens making sure your weren’t gonna get hit. Luckily morale seemed to be growing scarce over there.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t completely gone.

“Ow,” Bill hissed, right hand clutching his left shoulder. “F-f-uck.”

Your head whipped around on your shoulders again to see Victor Criss’s upper lip twitching into a satisfied smile as he looked at Bill. You returned your attention to your boyfriend and the rock he held out for you.

“Let me,” you seethed.

You snatched the rock up, stomping forward with a wild glare in your eyes that was enough to intimidate the bleach blonde. Victor was already on his heels and running, but you weren’t letting him get away that easy. You threw with all your might and watched with pride as it soared through the air and hit him directly on the spine that was poking through his back. He cried out in pain as he fell to the ground, his chin meeting the very rock bed that fueled the fight.

“EAT SHIT,” You spit. “YOU LACKEY ASS FUCK!”

~~~~

“Turn it off!” Beverly cried. “TURN IT OFF!”

The projector in Bill’s garage had quickly turned into It’s stage as It put on a horrific display for you and the rest of your friends. What was just once pictures of Derry, suddenly turned into pictures of Bill’s family - you missed Georgie terribly, having grown so close with him the year before he died when you and Bill first got together. And now you were all staring death in the eyes as It manipulated the very air in the room around you. Every click of the projector put you on edge, the stroking effect and of course the child eating clown tormenting you all.

It was hard to process your own thoughts as they were quickly drowning in everyone’s screams and your own fears. You clutched Bill tightly to your side, your arms linked and your fingers stitched together. Everything was moving so incredibly fast it was near impossible to process until you realized you weren’t holding Bill’s hand anymore.

“Y-Y/n!” He cried, tugging at the back of your shirt before it slips from his grip. “Y/N!”

Mike had already unplugged the projector, that much you knew. But you were fucking desperate. You lunged for the projector, gripping it tightly as you held it high above your head. With a guttural scream, you threw it as hard as you possibly could into the cement floor. It broke instantly into several unidentifiable pieces, the room now completely dark and eerily silent.

Heaving, you finally look up to meet your friends faces. Each of them were gaping at you, an expression they seemed to always be wearing around you.

“Well,” you say finally. “I think it’s safe to say we found It.”

~~~~

“How hard is it,” you seethed, your voice growing in volume. “to NOT wander off? In a FUCKING HAUNTED HOUSE?!”

You took all your anger and fear out on the door Richie was being held in. Your elbows were practically glued to the surface while your fists and forearms repeatedly pounded on the door. First Eddie, now Richie. You swear, these idiots had to me smarter than this.

“Richie!” Bill joined your side, pounding on the door that had closed all on its own.

“RICHARD!” You pounded on the door again, your anger turning to pure fear that was now stinging your throat and eyes as tears began to well. “This is not fucking funny, open the goddamn door asshole!”

Your hand wraps around the doorknob again, and you shake the handle, jostling it around in hopes something will cave. When the door flew open, you didn’t know whether to chalk it up to luck, skill, or it was all still part of It’s torment but you didn’t care. Richie was alive, and tumbled into your and Bill’s grip.

“Richie!” You hugged the boy tightly, then pulled away with your signature glare. “WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING!?”

“N-n-no t-time,” Bill says, looking between you and Richie with determination in his eyes. “L-let’s get outta here.”

A muted thump answered before you could. You, Richie and Bill all looked to the source of the noise to see the moth-eaten mattress from earlier was now shifting by itself. It looked as if it was filled with jumping beans. A melon sized lump grew in the center before the fabric split to reveal the disheveled and muddied up head of your friend.

He smiles at your twisted expressions. “Wanna play loogie?”

Your reflexes are faster than your thought process and you run forward. Just as a strange black goo starts to spill from fake Eddie’s mouth, your leg was swinging through the air. Your left foot connected with the left side of his jaw, narrowly missing the sizzling black ink and Eddie’s head popped off his body as you put it across the room.

It sails through the air, his greasy hair catching several cobwebs as it spins. Specks of the goo go flying landing on the walls and ceiling before the small head collides with a disturbing ‘thunk’.

“What the fuck?!”

“Holy shit,”

Eddie’s head lands in the far corner of the room where it rolls back and forth on his right ear before settling. He was groaning as if all the spinning had made him dizzy. The ooze of black goo came out even faster as if he were ralphing, and it was now pooling across the floor and inching towards their feed.

“Oh, that’s fucking GROSS!” Richie looks quickly to you. “And now you made him angry!”

“At least I did something!”

“Guys,” Bill pleads. “C-come on,”

The pool of black tar is spreading fast and you and Richie don’t have to think twice to listen to Bill. You all turn on your heel, only to find three doors instead of one.

Very Scary, Scary, and Not Scary At All.

Not Scary At All was the winner, Bill and Richie quickly decide. And despite your protest that it was all clearly a trick and the doors were misnomers, they opened the Not Scary At All.

“Where’s My Shoe?”

The light was turned on to reveal the severed body of Betty Ripsom and you had promptly decided you had had more than enough.

“WHERE THE FUCK WERE HER LEGS?!” Richie cried.

“I’ve got a guess but I’m not sticking around to find out.” You growled.

You cast a glance behind you to see the tar had eaten up most of the floor, giving you little room to do what you wanted. Luckily, you didn’t need much. You took a few steps back and looked at the door in the center, your eyes settling deep into the crimson letters spelling “scary.” You were certainly glad you realized when you did that unlike the door that held Richie hostage, this one could easily be broken down from where you stood.

You sighed. “I have to do everything.”

~~~~

“WELCOME TO THE LOSERS CLUB, ASSHOLE!”

Richie’s bat swung through the air and knocked the clown back. Pennywise quickly recovered and lunged for the nearest target with a disgusting growl. You quickly scrambled for a weapon as Mike stepped up to bat. He threw the fence iron rod at the monster but it was stopped midair when It’s jaw unhinged and out came several charred arms holding it in place. More and more reached out from inside It’s throat and made a grab at Mike who was fighting back the force of all the arms.

You never happier to have been too slow to save your friend when you saw Stanley pick up one of several spare iron rods off the ground. With a brave determination, he launched forward with a fierce battle cry as his torch came down on the branch of arms that now recoiled, saving Mike. It stumbled back, the charred arms slinking back into its mouth and disappearing and Pennywise stumbles again when Richie kicks It forward and away from him. Unfortunately that brought It right to Stanley.

“Stan, watch out!” Bill cries from your side.

But it’s too late, It’s head had already changed to the same horribly contorted lady that had you had already found attacking your friend. Only this time it was still wearing It’s clown suit, and it was racing straight for Stan.

“Stan!” You cried, already running forward after him only to stop second later.

Yet again Stanley roared, striking the clown across the face with the most furious look you had ever seen on him. Despite the horrifying circumstances, you were quite proud. You quickly fell back into line, ready to fight with the others and you smiled yet again when Mike followed up Stan’s strike with a devastating blow of his own.

The small moment of victory was soon cut short - a pattern you were currently getting used to - when a pair of red tentacles-turned-crab-claws pulled Mike to the ground.

“Mike!” Eddie shrieked.

Mike was able to barrel roll to safety as as It advanced on him. The end of each gigantic claw striking the earth and narrowly missing him and you and your friends quickly followed not knowing what to do. You couldn’t watch it anymore, and you hated yourself for what you were about to do but you knew you would simply never forgive yourself if you lost Mike, or any of your friends.

For what Bill wished was the first time of the summer, he felt you leave his side as you charged headlong into danger. Another guttural scream left you as you hurled yourself onto It’s back, your iron spike in front of It’s neck, both hands on either side of the rod and you pulled as hard as you could.

Pennywise’s disturbing, maniacal laughter grew even scarier, something you didn’t think was possible as he began to suffocate. You let yourself drop back down to the ground, your grip still tight on your weapon as you used your position to pull It down to the ground. It was still laughing through chocked breathes but it had done what you hoped, and stopped, Mike had gotten to safety with the Losers.

And for one glorious moment you felt indestructible. Until you saw it shift before you’re very eyes and your eyes widened, as did the eyes of your friends and Bill. It’s complete figure changed, starting with It’s head. You and the Losers no longer saw a painted lady, a mummy, a horrible memory, an abusive father, or even a late little brother. But they saw you, their friend Y/n, cowering and crying under the iron rod that pinned you to the ground by the neck.

“Please,” It whimpered, bottom lip quivering horribly. “Please don’t. I don’t wanna die.”

The real you was staring at the sight of yourself, the real fake you that you always tried so hard to push down. You knew it was Pennywise, but it was enough to make you choke completely. You were always so confident, and you were good at sticking up for yourself and the rest of the Losers. At least that’s all they ever saw, that’s all you ever let them see. Deep down you were terrified, and much more than that you were terrified that your own fear would get in the way of protecting your loved ones.

Like now.

“Y/n?” Bill’s soft voice called out to you, breaking you from your spell.

You look down at your blubbering face, tears streaking down your cheeks as you begged yourself for mercy. Several pleas leaving your lips when finally you pulled the rod back. Your eyelids flicker open, gazing back up at you and watch your every move cowering.

“Y/n?” Ben asks.

You don’t answer, you just straighten, your demon double cowering beneath you and it only angers you more to know none of this is It’s own fear. It was yours. It was mocking you.

Which was pretty stupid, considering you still had the spike.

You bare your teeth as you summon your strength, throwing the end of the spike into the ground, going right through your throat.

~~~~

You watched with head on Bill’s shoulder as another drop of blood from your palm fell onto the grass. You were trying to think about anything but the pain, and with everything you had faced this summer, you certainly had the pick of the litter.

“It feels different now,” you say, voice quiet. “And not just cause It’s gone, ya know?”

You even hate to let yourself believe that, but for the sake of your sanity and the chance of every getting another night’s sleep you’d have to believe it. And knowing Bill as long as you did, you know he felt it too.

You pick your head up off his shoulder and look to his gaze break away from the hills in the distance to meet your eyes. For a moment he doesn’t say anything, and you know for sure he’s thinking it too. Beverly was leaving for Portland, Stan said he heard whispers from his parents that they might be moving and that was all on top of the heavy weight of your guys’ trauma that had already begun to drain everyone.

“A-a-at least we-we’ve got each o-other,”

You smiled, nudging his shoulder with your own.

“Big sap,” you chuckled.

He smiled a little, enjoying the small moment between the two of you. But it disappears when his mind returns to image that had been replaying in his mind nonstop since Neibolt. The image of your cowering form that bothered you so much. He had never seen you - the real you, that was being confronted, that is - so distraught. He gulps, gathering his strength.

“W-what made you s-see that?” He asks.

You don’t answer for a long moment, and Bill fears he’s upset you. Or confused you, but he doubts that is the case. Finally, you look up at him, and lick your lips nervously.

“I’m scared Bill,” you croaked, heart pounding wildly at the admission. “I’m always worrying about you, I’m always worrying about Richie, Mike, Eddie, Stanley, Bev, and Ben. I’m always worried something is going to happen. I’m always scared something’s gonna happen to the ones I love, and I get scared that I’m not gonna be enough to protect them.”

You take a deep breath, swallowing all the air you lost in your unintentional rant. Somewhere during your confession, your gaze broke away from Bill’s gaze and now here you were afraid to even look him in the eye.

There’s another silence that Bill finally ends after a small thoughtful moment.

“It’s okay to be scared, Y/n,” he says, pulling your eyes to him. “I-I-It’s part of being h-human.”

You bite the inside of your cheek, trying your best to banish the image of your cowardly form from your mind. Suddenly the sting of your cut didn’t hurt so bad.

You looked back into Bill’s soft eyes, and shrugged.

“I know, but it doesn’t make me feel too great either.”

He nudged you again with a charming smile.

“Well, y-you’re still a badass. Y-You’re always s-standing up for us,”

You chuckled weakly, sending him a smirk.

“That’s the easy part,” you say. “It’s looking out for myself that’s harder.”

“T-t-tell ya what?” You raise a brow at his sudden demeanor. “I’ll be t-the b-b-badass lookin out for you,”

You laughed, leaning in and giving him a lingering kiss that turned his cheeks absolutely scarlet.

You smiled when you saw this. “Thanks Billy Boy. Appreciate it. But I’d still like to work on myself a bit, ya know?”

He smiles again, this time triumphantly. “Deal.”

[theresa-of-liechtenstein]

@lavstar i was so incredibly stupid and i deleted your ask while i was drafting it… i swear i didn’t forget to do it 😭 anyway i’ve FINALLY finished it so let’s jump into the compilation of the most planes i have ever brainrot ❤️ because no ❤️ you cannot expect me to pick one ❤️ it is impossible ❤️

two airbus A320s taking off from parallel runways, five nautical miles apart ‘cause they’re not gay!

btw i genuinely do not care about military aircraft (never have, prob never will) so these are all to do with civil aviation. also huge disclaimer i did all the commentary off the top of my head (i did have to wikipedia some of the stats im not martin fucking crieff) so if i mess up a term or something that’s on me

of course no post about my favorite planes cannot leave out the OG. my first love, the most plane i have ever ridden; the one, the only, the increasingly irrelevant due to industry shifts, the beloved Airbus A380.

(L) just look at this big beautiful girl! + (R) a view of i believe scotland? as approached from the north

i don’t know why i love this plane so much, because lots of other people certainly don’t for a lot of reasons. her size makes her the main character out of necessity at every airport she comes across, and she’s an inconvenience for air traffic controllers for that reason. her origin story is [twitter stan account voice] a bit problematic. given changes in industry trends, she is also quickly becoming irrelevant. airbus my beloved please just admit that the four engines thing was nostalgia and go. she’s a marvel of engineering sure, but when all is said and done…the B747 came, she served cunt, and then she got phased out. the A380 was made with the intention of doing the same…unfortunately, she didn’t really complete the second step.

wait holy shit. i know why i love this plane so much. it’s because this plane…is me ❤️

—

and now for thee og in terms of famous big-ass planes that everyone loves: the B747. everyone loves the 747. even if they say they’re not into planes, they are. for me, not gonna lie: a very big reason for why i love the Queen of the Skies so much is mark vanhoenacker’s book, skyfaring. he flew the 747 for bri’ish airways (when they still had them) and loved that plane so much and man who am i to blame him.

(L) i think i teared up when i saw her through the big windows for the first time bc i was like oh my god. i am going to be on her. this icon of aviation, the arguable symbol of commercial aviation. so much history, so much significance… + (R) the past, the present, and the future of british airways in one image 🥺

i was on a 747 twice in my life. once on a cathay pacific flight to the philippines, and on my last flight abroad, on a british airways flight to heathrow. little did i know i was flying one of the last of their 747 flights—they phased them out completely the following year, a bit earlier than anticipated due to the pandemic.

as enzo ferrari once probably said, “ask a child to draw a plane, and certainly he will put a hump and four engines on it.” in terms of sheer iconic power and energy, the Queen (and she is the only earthly being to whom I shall ever refer as such) would far and away be the top on anyone’s list, save for the fact that i don’t have a top to this list and i have other planes to get to dear god this is getting long do you know what you’ve got yourself into!! the Queen really said “flight belongs to the people now” and the airlines just had to shut up and listen!! she is truly the main character!!!

genuinely don’t remember what river this is except that it’s in the UK… 🙈

i feel like everything else i say about her is just going to be a pale imitation of how evocative skyfaring was, so honestly i really recommend the book it’s so good and it’s one of my favorites. my copy is sort of falling apart now bc i kept bringing it around to places 😭 anyway, the number of airlines using her for passengers is decreasing, but you know who still use converted versions of her as well as purpose-built models? cargo airlines! anyway, ups and their brown planes my beloved 🤎

—

this slot was going to go to the B767 and 757, and i was going to rhapsodize about how aesthetically the 767 looks like a nicer plane to me because of Chonk, but the 757 is really endearing because it’s a narrowbody jet and it’s got landing gear that is long in a useful but unusual-looking way, which in essence what i’m trying to say is that if the 757 were a person, it would be esteban ocon.

so i was getting ready to write all of this down in much more words than i needed, but i remembered suddenly the very reason i was making this post in the first place. and that, my friends, is the B777.

honestly you don’t fully understand how big the 777 is until you see it in person. because we are all acclimated to think of like the 747 when we think of ‘big plane.’ but the 777 is massive. even i forgot about it when i wrote That Fanfic.

the 777 and 787 are the future of long-haul commercial aviation (and i say this as an A380 stannie). widebody jets with 2 big-ass engines are most likely what we’re going to see in the sky going forward when it comes to long-distance travel, and the pandemic pretty much confirmed that.

that aside, i love the 777. so much that i wrote a whole fanfic around one making an emergency landing ❤️ i really pretended ETOPS (the thing where a plane can fly for a long time on one engine) did not exist for six chapters and an alternate ending and i think that’s just very quirky of me aha 🤪

dear god do not mind my hat i literally bought it because of fred fucking thursday of endeavour… what the FUCK was teenage me on 😭

the 777 was supposed to be a trijet (one with three engines, two under each wing and one built into the vertical stabilizer) but as the mcdonnell douglas and lockheed martin trijets (cba to look up the numbers) were not projected to continue to be successful, they got rid of the trijet 777 idea and instead made it have two engines. another thing i think is neat is that all the examples of the 777 that you will see in the wild right now don’t have winglets bc the wings themselves are so long and raked back that they’re not necessary. which would be a weird thing for me in particular to find neat, because if you know me well you know i have a thing for winglets. (the 2022 f1 car’s front wing my BELOVED WAKSKDKSJSJ!!!!!) i also think the way the wingtip lights are incorporated into the wings are so neat. the upgraded version they’re trying to make now, the 777X, will have foldy wingtips so you can DIY your own winglets and i think that’s hilarious (and also cool).

—

genuinely i think i’m the only plane person that likes this last aircraft: the Embraer ERJ-175. i like her for purely nostalgic reasons. she reminds me of how i returned to my roots and decided to pursue engineering.

so okay this is going to have nothing to do with the plane, but i was lucky enough to be given a visit to the flightdeck after landing back home from a weekend trip. i was so excited to be allowed to sit in the first officer’s seat, and got to poke around the flightdeck for like ten minutes. which was cool, but all this was with the sinking realization that even operating a regional jet might be too physically demanding (read: unsafe) for someone of my… [exhales knowing EXACTLY what i’m about to walk into] height.

that is one fully glass cockpit. also those yokes are specific to embraer, boeing’s look more like f1 steering wheels with stuff cut out of them i think, and airbus’s are operated by side stick. it’s almost funny especially when watching flightdeck videos of the a380 cause it’s like… you’re doing All That *gestures vaguely at plane* with THAT *gestures at thing that looks like a chicken drumstick with semiconductors implanted in it*

so that was piloting as a career done with for me (much to my family’s relief.) and then i thought “hm i don’t have to be flying planes all the time to be working around them…why don’t i work on developing them instead?” and i was passively interested in matsci already, so that’s how and when i decided to pursue engineering, with hopes of working for airbus or boeing and in civil aviation.

we’ll see how that pans out, i say as i side-eye the exponential growth of my interest in motorsport.

thanks for the ask! i’m so sorry i was stupid and deleted it but i hope you like this very long, drawn out, and frankly deranged response 💚

[mish-tique]

NSFW - drabble/teaser (?), Max/Daniel, Charles/Pierre

Note: based on this post by @abedsmessedupmeta - This is a drabble that suddenly came up in my head while dreaming about the fact that I should have time to write this fic completely next week. And instead of my brain listening to that schedule, it came up with a plot bunny right now that's the part of the fic that's more based on Charles & Max's friendship.

So this ain't the highest quality, just a first draft idea. Hit "read more" to read it.

CW: slight kink-shaming

Charles is so, so flustered about the incident. Max is still talking with Daniel over the phone and Charles can't seem to get it out of his mind that Max calls his boyfriend daddy. It's like he's in a daze. Sure he heard about it, saw shit online that had him scrolling further without letting himself even read a word.

"Charles, Charles you there?"

Max wakes him from his daze and the words leave his mouth before he can even register saying them. "Do you really call Daniel daddy?"

"Yes."

It somehow spurs on a conversation in which they're spilling all the beans about their own sex life. Charles' cheeks end up Ferrari red because, holy shit, he never thought Max would be into this and Max is lowkey surprised because he had no idea Charles could be so.. innocent?

And Max apologizes quite fast about that because he doesn't want his friend to be ashamed of it, he doesn't want to judge Charles because it's perfectly okay. They might not have been the best friends in the past and even now that they're friends they aren't the closest (it's a surprise this conversation even happened) but he does want to make sure Charles feels safe discussing sex. It shouldn't be a taboo topic.

Which only makes Charles blink. "Dude, you've said worse things to me in the past, I'm not going to hate for you for that."

"Ouch."

"Well, it's no lie."

But this conversation has made Charles really interested in the whole thing even though he had never considered it before. Having talked about it with Max makes it feel less alien, less strange and more okay. It got him really, really interested. But it was scary.

And of course Max notices, Charles grumbles because somehow the Dutch always notices the things he feels somewhat insecure about so he hands Charles the phone without saying anything.

"What's this?"

"Dude, it's a BDSM test, just take it. It will help you."

"...MAX WHY ARE THEY ASKING ME IF I WOULD LIKE TO ACT LIKE A DOG??"

"Charles we're in public for fucks sake! And I don't know why I like it okay."

"That's not what I asked - wait you're into that too?"

"Yeah. We don't always do the daddy thing, you know. Sometimes you want something else."

A few days later and Max is half-asleep in his driver's room. This weekend had sucked all the energy out of him. He doesn't even notice Charles sneaking into his room until the man is next to him on the couch, scaring the living daylight out of him. He's fully alert when the man even snuggles into him.

Like he said, they're friends but not this close. So something must be off and he patiently waits.

"Max," Charles is already hesitating, "how did you tell Daniel.... How did you tell him you wanted to try the BDSM stuff in bed?

It makes him chuckle because it brings back quite fond memories. "I sent him a meme once, he took it seriously. Daniel showed up at my door within ten minutes and then we were discussing it. So it wasn't really me who asked, more Daniel introducing me."

"Seriously, was it that easy?"

"Yeah, it doesn't have to be hard. Though I imagine it can be scary."

"Forget scary, talk about humiliating," the Monegasque mutters and it has Max's full attention when he seemed to get more frustrated, "I tried three times already! The first time he didn't hear me, somehow. The second one he didn't understand me - just blinked and went on with what we were doing before I could explain and the last time he thought it was a joke!"

Max understood his friend's frustration but somehow the picture looked so funny to him that he couldn't help but chuckle himself.

"Seriously? Never thought Pierre could be that thick when it came to sex."

"Dude, could you like stop laughing and start giving advice, I'm at risk here."

"Charles, the only two things at risk are your driving career and your sex life."

"Those are two very important things."

"You got a point there."

"Only points I appear to be scoring."

(the fic will most likely be quite maxiel focussed but I couldn't help but throw in the chax friendship bc it just. has so much potential.)

(or: charles seeks comfort after his boyfriend doesn't get his hints for wanting to try kinky stuff)

[dirtydobrik]

hickey - d.d.

requested: yes by @automaticpersonkiddiplomat! Can you write a fan fiction where all the vs guys are after the reader but David and y/n are alr dating in secret and he leaves a hickey partly on purpose but the reader is unaware of it everyone figures it out and lowkey sad but also rly happy ? Thank you sm and I love your writing mwah!

word count: 1100

author’s note: this was requested ages ago (so sorry it took so long!) i had a draft of this but i didn’t love how it turned out so i never posted it. but i recently got inspired to rewrite this after I hooked up with a guy and didn’t realize he gave a hickey until a different guy I’ve been talking to noticed it….yikes!

masterlist

“You look really hot today,” Todd grinned, his eyes glazed over from the alcohol he’d been drinking as he shamelessly tried to flirt with you. His eyes wandered down, admiring the low-cut silky black top you were wearing.

“Thank you,” you said with a soft smile, although you avoided his gaze completely. You and David were keeping things a secret from everyone, including your friends.

“Come here,” he motioned for you to sit on the couch with him. Your eyes quickly scanned the room, noticed David staring at you from the other side of the room.

“I’m actually going to go grab a drink and do a lap, but I’ll come talk to you later,” you promised, and he nodded in agreement.

As you walked into the kitchen, you felt a hand wrap around your waist. You half expected it to be David and the word “babe” almost slipped out, until you turned your head to realized it was Matt.

“Do you always look this good or did you get dressed up just for me?” he asked with a wink. He chuckled at the cheesy pickup line he used and you rolled your eyes. “But really, you look stunning tonight,” he whispered, tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear.

“Thanks,” you smiled, not wanting to be rude but also not wanting to lead him on. You were a newer addition to the friend group, so naturally the boys were all going to be interested in the only one who hadn’t been corrupted yet.

You stepped away so his arm wasn’t around you anymore, but you could feel David staring at you. You grabbed a shot glass and poured yourself some tequila.

“Want to do a shot with me?” you asked Matt, and he agreed. You handed him a shot glass of tequila and clinked your glasses together before downing them, making sure to take a boomerang for your Instagram story.

Matt’s arm draped around your shoulder as you followed him outside to join the majority of the people.

“Be my pong partner,” Matt insisted, but you shook you head.

“I shouldn’t drink anymore,” you shrugged, standing off to the side to watch him play. You cheered when he made a shot and he flashed you a grin.  

“Do you think this is funny?” David hissed in your ear, startling you.

“What?” you asked, innocently, wanting to rile him up again.

“Flirting with my friends. You know, making them think they have a chance with you when we both know that you’re mine.”

He then grabbed your arm and pulled you away from the crowd. He pushed you up against the side of the house, hidden behind the bushes. He pressed his lips against yours and you deepened the kiss. He moved from your lips to your neck, biting and sucking at it, and you let out a quiet moan. His lips returned to yours and you continued to make out for a little bit longer.

Someone shouting for David interrupted you, and you told him to go so you two wouldn’t be caught. You tied your hair back, since it was a mess from being pressed up against the side of the house. The party was dying down, and it was mostly just close friends now.

“So, how’s about we go find somewhere talk,” Todd said, coming up to you as you walked back inside. But as he got closer, his eyes widened, and he stopped in the middle of his sentence. “Oh, uh, never mind.”

“What? Why?” you asked, confused.

“I guess Matt made a move first.”  

“Todd, what are you talking about?” you questioned.

“The huge hickey on your neck,” he stated like it was obvious.

Your stomach dropped. “Fuck,” you muttered to yourself.

“It wasn’t there earlier, and I mean, I saw you go outside with him. I’m not that surprised,” Todd rambled, and you felt like you were going to throw up.

You grabbed Todd’s hand and pulled him into an empty room. “Okay, listen. I need to be completely honest with you. Just listen.”

Todd sat on the edge of the bed and watched you pace back and forth. You racked your brain trying to think of how to phrase this.

“The hickey isn’t from Matt. It’s from David. We’ve been dating for about a month now.”

“So why did you let both Matt and I flirt with you? I feel like I crossed a line by hitting on my friend’s girlfriend. Shit, I’m so sorry,” Todd apologized.

“It’s fine. You were both flirting with me before I started dating David and you would’ve known something was up if I just stopped flirting back after doing so for months,” you shrugged.

You took your hair out of a ponytail and tried to hide the hickey. You didn’t think about the fact that coming out of an empty room with Todd would look suspicious, especially to Matt. He immediately noticed the red bruise on your neck when you looked down to avoid meeting his eyes.

“A hickey? Really, Todd?” he said loudly, causing your friends to listen to the conversation.

“It’s not from me,” Todd insisted, and Matt rolled his eyes, not buying a single word Todd was saying.

A few more people were now listening to the two exchange words about the hickey on your neck and your face was red with embarrassment. Your eyes met David’s as he walked inside with his camera to see what all the shouting was about.

Zane noticed you eyeing David from across the room and he had a light bulb moment. “Holy shit!” he shouted, standing up. “You and David!” he exclaimed.

“What?” Matt shouted.

Everyone fell silent and you gulped. David pushed through the crowd and came up next to you, a smirk on his face. And that’s when it hit you. He had done this on purpose.  

“You’re a total asshole,” you hissed. “We weren’t going to tell anyone for three months. We had a plan.”

“I told you to stop flirting with my friends. Besides they were going to find out about us anyways, we suck at keeping secrets,” David shrugged, wrapping his arms around your waist.

Everyone was staring at you in complete shock, a deafening silence filling the room as they waited for David to say something.

“Okay, well, as everyone probably knows by now, we’re dating,” David said, reaching down and grabbing your hand. Then he turned to face Matt and Todd, directing his next sentence at them. “And I would really appreciate it if you two stopped flirted with her.”

You giggled and stepped closer to David. “And I would really appreciate it if you didn’t give me another visible hickey.”

[themattress]

Holy Shit!

https://imgur.com/gallery/WKkli

https://imgur.com/gallery/j9OQylb

Beyond the proof that the guy who uploaded this is involved with Bad Robot that he provided at the end of his second post, these definitely seem legit because the first post was in 2018, before The Rise of Skywalker came out, yet the treatment contains some blatant concepts that ended up finding there way into that movie that I have a hard time believing anyone but J.J himself could have come up with (plus, the rest of the plot is very J.J-like, as I’ll get into.)

So these definitely seem to be the discarded Episode VIII and IX treatments. Thoughts?

- Luke’s reasons for coming to Ahch-To definitely seem more in line with TFA than in TLJ, seeing as if he wanted to just “go there to die” he wouldn’t have left a freaking map to the place behind, plus it seemed off that someone disillusioned with the Jedi ways would go to the site of the first Jedi Temple to begin with. His portrayal also matches what we saw at the end of TFA (seeming to be in mourning for Han), and fits the “kind but sad” description from the script. And far from cutting himself off from the Force, Luke has been influencing it from afar as part of his grand plan, explaining Rey’s vision when she touched his lightsaber.

- Luke has a wife and kids! Sadly for EU fans, the wife is not Mara Jade.

- It was Luke’s influence via the Force that explained the things Rey could do that fans deemed her a Mary Sue for, plus some other things that weren’t so routinely noted such as the remarkable coincidence that she and Finn just happened to run into Han and Chewie right after obtaining the Millennium Falcon. Not sure how well this would have gone down...

- Saccrum, Snoke’s home planet, is literally Exogol. Secret ancient Sith planet that is nigh impenetrable to all non-Sith, site of the final battle and (as we’ll soon learn) where Snoke is repeatedly cloned and where Palpatine is resurrected by Sith alchemists...it’s fucking Exogol.

- I recall concept art for Kylo Ren’s partly metallic face floating around.

- Dathan Naut seems cool, but she never really amounts to much.

- So it seems J.J Abrams and Lawrence Kasdan’s vision for the Sequel Trilogy always seemed to boil down to “All the generations of Jedi vs. all the generations of Sith reaching a climactic battle, with Skywalker vs. Palpatine at the heart of it, and the Palpatine who becomes a Skywalker as the key to victory.” That idea was always where they were going.

- Jedi/Sith Holocrons were always gonna be a thing, which is why Rebels worked them in.

- Live-action Ahsoka was also always an objective, it seems, and I bet the way they wrote her out in Rebels’ “Twilight of the Apprentice” was to potentially serve as a lead-in for her appearance in the Sequel Trilogy. But because that never came to pass, they brought her back toward the end of the series and set her on the new trajectory that she’s currently on. Honestly, I think that’s for the better, Ahsoka wouldn’t have really fit in the main film series.

- Not big on this Cfi-Xi character, she mainly seems to be here to “no homo” C-3PO. And her main role relating to the Sith Planet ended up played just fine by C-3PO in TROS anyway.

- BB-8 had the kind of fake-out death they ended up giving to Chewie.

- Wow, so Hux was supposed to die in Episode VIII and Phasma in Episode IX originally. Funny how that got totally flipped backward in the versions we actually ended up getting.

- OK, this “family time” that Rey’s getting is precious. It’s sad we didn’t get to see this.

- Hoo boy, “this is the bad ass Luke Skywalker we’ve been waiting for!” Really? Et tu, J.J and Kasdan? In light of the recent showing by Luke in The Mandalorian, I again question why this portrayal of the character is so widely beloved by fans when it has little to no basis in the OT.

- Rey vs. Kylo Ren in a raging ocean backdrop; here in Episode VIII rather than IX. Similarly, it’s a duel that Kylo clearly has in the bag, but a fluke in the Force allows Rey to survive, although I much prefer the fluke we got to the one this treatment proposes because....

- Goddamn it, J.J. You’re doing the time travel / time paradox shit again? Were Lost, Fringe and Star Trek not enough for you to explore that concept in? This is the biggest part of these treatment drafts that rubs me the wrong way, it’s just so needlessly convoluted and cliche.

- Also, yet another Mystery Box in Luke’s severed hand on Saccrum.

- No Jedi Leia in that flashback? Yeah, I can see why Kathleen Kennedy rejected this.

- Btw, Rian Johnson wasn’t the only one who was going to turn Luke into an asshole failure, it seems. Making this highly risky plan with Ben and not letting his parents know about it? Dick! 

- Snoke is the one who destroys Luke’s academy, not Kylo Ren. And he does so as he is dying; another clue-in that there’s more to Snoke than it seems given that he’s still around.

- Lando would have been in Episode IX anyway, albeit still running Cloud City.

- The idea for this Episode IX is that the Skywalkers are a Jedi dynasty that long predated Anakin (Shmi being a descendant of it), and the Palpatines were their Sith enemies. Sheev Palpatine also would have died his first death generations ago and was being constantly resurrected via clone bodies made on Saccrum ever since, so the one that Anakin killed wasn’t the original; Palpatine can’t be stopped unless Saccrum is destroyed. While not as convoluted as the time paradox shit, I appreciate the simpler route they ended up taking.

- J.J and Kasdan always wanted Rey’s father to be a defective Palpatine clone.

- There was never a planned origin for Snoke in these treatments; wherever he came from the bottom line was that Palpatine brought him onto his side by promising to share his key to immortality (constant cloned bodies made on Sacccrum) with him. Again, this ended up being simplified into Snoke just being a whole-sale creation of Palpatine’s from the very beginning.

- Since these are treatments, the “love” part of the dynamic between Rey and Kylo Ren is highly underdeveloped and would likely have been fleshed out in screenwriting. The end result, with the deprogramming vision of Rey and Darth Vader, sounds pretty effective though, but I think I much prefer the Leia death / vision of Han version that we ended up with.

- LOL, the “droid way of making love”. I want to see this idea repurposed someday.

- That’s an interesting twist on Alderaan, although it really doesn’t amount to anything given that the planet Leia grew up on and called home still got destroyed by the Death Star.

- “Magic blood”, another J.J-ism. Again, I much prefer the simpler version TROS gave us.

- The climax’s structure is basically the same as in TROS, with Rey (and others) heading to the Sith planet from Ahch-To and then Leia’s Resistance forces going there from their base, with Rey and Ben facing Palpatine. The biggest differences is that we also have Luke vs. Snoke and Finn vs. Phasma battles going on, in addition to a Jedi vs. Sith ground battle.

- Yeah, I don’t really care for how Phasma’s death is handled: making her hideously scarred and treating her sympathetically don’t sit right with me. Rian Johnson did it better, IMO.

- No red stormtroopers here, but there are red Tie Fighters.

- Ben still gives his life to save Rey, albeit in a less literal manner.

- Palpatine still wants Rey to ascend to the Sith throne and rule by his side. Also: “he loves the smell of burning hair, it reminds him of home”!? Wow, that’s dark in what it’s implying...

- OK, so while not a Jedi, Leia is the Big Damn Hero in the end. That makes sense.

- WTF? Rey straight-up kills Palpatine with Sith lightning!? Yeah, that definitely wasn’t ever gong to fly with Lucasfilm, since it totally contradicts ROTJ’s message! It was inevitable that we’d end up with the more correct “Rey deflects Palpatine’s own Sith lightning back at him”.

- “Rey Skywalker” is the end point for the story here as well, but it ending on Tatooine is so much more emotional than ending it on Alderaan Prime, a place that only just now exists.

My final impression is that we probably could have had the best version of the Sequel Trilogy possible IF the right corrections were made when adapting these treatments into real screenplays, such as axing the more convoluted and pointlessly fanservice-y elements and making different choices for a few of the characters (Rey, Kylo Ren, C-3PO, Phasma, etc...also something more substantial for Poe since they clearly had no idea what to do with him). However, it was also an impossibility for it to ever happen due to many different factors, the biggest of which being Carrie Fisher’s passing in 2016. So as it stands, I am still satisfied with the version we got and am especially happy that J.J returned for TROS to provide the end of the Skywalker Saga with some of his original (mercifully fine-tuned and simplified) ideas.

[betterdaysareatoenailaway]

Sleep Tight For Me...I’m Gone

Lately I’ve been writing these Better Days Are A Toenail Away™️ posts in Microsoft Word, selecting all and changing the font to Garamond, which is so readable and beautiful, and posting the Word docs, paragraphs by paragraph, inside these Tumblr drafts. It makes things look nice, to my old fashioned sensibilities, but fixing errors is a time-consuming and needlessly convoluted four-step process.

First, I have to copy, then delete the paragraph containing the error. Then I open the doc. and paste the error-ridden paragraph back into Word. After I find and fix the error, I need to save it and copy and paste it back into the post. It's time-consuming because I’m not just copying a paragraph. As you can see from more recent post, what I copied looked more like a photograph of the paragraph, not the words themselves written in Tumblr’s default font Arial. For an example of this, see below. I like the way it looks like old newspaper clippings. I posted an article about how my fent dealer John Smith kept getting robbed, and had resorted to putting a machete in front of his front door as a way of preventing this, a lever of sorts, which is plainly visible in the video I posted,

So today I’ve given up on trying to make my posts look like books or zines, and have given into the Tumblr font, which is about as pretty as a horse with his snout shot off.

There are two much longer posts I’m working on right now, one about Nirvana and one about Soundgarden, respectively, and how both bands were very unlike their public perception, but those posts are taking a lot of work so I’m putting them on the backburner because today is some dumbass corporation’s day where it tries to synthesize mental health and profit and the end result is as baldly capitalist and clumsy as you would expect. 

I’m not gonna name the company, or repeat their stupid fucking slogan. As far as I can tell (which isn't very far), talking about my trauma has never made me feel better. And in fact it has sometimes made me feel worse, because in telling you what hurts and scares me, I’ve given a part of myself away that I can’t get back. When you’re like me, and you’ve lost everything multiple times, sometimes the only form of power you have is how you choose, or do not choose, to tell your story. And in a world where everybody wants to tell “their truth,” silence is power. 

You don’t get to know me, sorry. I’m not gonna hand you my life, both my bad and good experiences, and conclude: “Welp, that’s why I’m so fucked up. Case closed.” 

Honestly, I used to be a little confused, or miffed that my former partner (who is an amazing person btw, in every respect) almost never spoke about some of the traumatic things she’d experienced in her past. I took it as a sign that she either didn’t trust me, or she didn’t think I would be a sympathetic listener, or the mere fact of my gender precluded her from sharing because I couldn’t truly understand what it was she had gone through. It’s not like I ever asked her to talk about it, but I did say, once or twice, “hey if you ever wanna talk about that stuff, I’m around.” She never took me up on it, and I let it go. 

But as I watched her, and saw her life unfold, over the years we spent together, I began to realize I wasn’t exactly in any position to be telling her how to live her life or how to be mentally healthy. After all, she has found success in a number of avenues, both creative and occupational, and I’ve found neither. I'm not saying the fact that she didn't talk much about her trauma is the reason for her success. I'm saying that she's forged a better path through life than I have, and maybe I should take a cue from that.

She never told me what to do, per se. It was more like living by example. But because I’m pretty dense, and a severe addict, our time together actually sorta reminds me now of that Cornell lyric from his first record: She’s going to change the world. But she can’t change me.

I have certainly found that talking about how shitty my life is only makes me feel more shitty, not free, or unburdened, or better. If you wanna talk about your problems, and you find it helpful, more power to you. Just don’t wait for a corporation to tell you it’s okay to not be okay. 

When Chris Cornell died I was so shocked. Of all the grunge icons he seemed the most stable, and he'd survived the rise and fall of two major label rock bands. If anyone had survived the media machine that chewed up and spat out Staley, Cobain, and to a lesser extent Andrew Wood and Shannon Hoon, it was Cornell. He would be the last guy to support hashtag activism like #StarbucksMyLifeSucks. Chris Cornell actually loved to fuck with the best laid plans of corporate rats. Molson once had a few promotional concerts in Tuktoyaktuk, Northwest Territories, called Molson Canadian Rocks Arctic, with both Hole and Soundgarden playing to a crowd of flown-in grunge fans and bemused locals. But the whole anti-corporate thing grunge was known for actually came through when Courtney Love told the crowd she “use[d] Molson Canadian to douche.” Lol. Here’s a photo of Love arriving in Tuktoyatuk.

Cornell told the same people “so we’re here because of some beer company? Labatt’s?” Both artists’ jabs are funny. Cornell’s was a bit more subtle, but that’s what Cornell was like. 

So today’s post is about Chris Cornell’s suicide, more specifically the media’s reaction to it. For whatever reason, when Cornell died, every single news outlet, from CNN to Fox to CBC, posted “Black Hole Sun,” as if it’s the only song he ever fucking wrote, or – and this is far worse – the only song he wrote that’s worth hearing. The problem with this is more than twofold or threefold. It's fucking hydraheaded. 

Not only is “Black Hole Sun” a mediocre piece of music, it’s a complete misrepresentation of Soundgarden’s sound. 

Now, I’m a huge fan of the A.V. Club series HateSong, in which public figures gleefully talk shit about the one song they hate more than any other song in the world. The Max Bemis (Say Anything) one where he talks about Nirvana’s “Rape Me” as a terrible rewrite of “Smells Like Teen Spirit” is terrific, but comedian Anthony Jeselnik’s HateSong takes “Black Hole Sun” apart, and I love it. I think the best line is: I think the more I hear it, the worse it gets. AVC: After the song became a huge hit, Chris Cornell said that he’d written it in about 15 minutes. AJ: I totally believe that. I don’t believe that Soundgarden likes that song. Like, I remember Eminem once said that he knew his song “My Name Is” was going to be a huge hit because the first time he heard it he was annoyed. It’s something about an annoying song that just grabs onto people. But I don’t think that anyone likes “Black Hole Sun.” I’ve never heard of anyone who likes it. I don’t understand why it gets played so much. It’s become a summer jam, and it’s not a summer song at all. Jeselnik is right that Soundgarden didn’t think much of the song. Guitarist Kim Thayil wasn’t kidding when he disparagingly called it the “Dream On” of their live show. And Cornell himself, known for a meticulous approach to his songwriting, had admitted that with “Black Hole Sun”was “probably the closest to me just playing with words for words’ sake, of anything I’ve written. I guess it worked for a lot of people who heard it, but I have no idea how you'd begin to take that one literally.” I mean it’s obvious from the opening lines that Cornell is just playing with words and how they sound: in my eyes/indisposed/in disguises no one knows What songs would have been more appropriate for Cornell’s untimely death? Glad you asked! Cuz there’s like…fucking at least ten that would have been better. I’m not tryna be one of those “the deep album cuts are better maaaaaan,” but with Soundgarden, it happens to be true. With some bands, the single are their best work. With other bands, the singles are the hors d’oeuvres for the entrees. So what deep cuts would have celebrated Cornell’s death a bit better? Well, to begin with, Superunknown’s strange and stately closer “Like Suicide” would have worked, for obvious reasons.

“Tighter and Tighter,” a song that is actually about the moment of death and what it might feel like, is one of my all-time fav Soundgarden songs. Not only is it a creepy and prescient prediction of what Cornell’s death by hanging himself may have felt like, it’s opening line is a good description of the personification of death: Shadow face/Blowing smoke and talking wind

Another sample lyric: “A sucking holy wind will take me from this bed tonight/and bloody wits another hits me and I have to say goodbye/sleep tight for me, I’m gone/and I hope it’s  a sweet ride/here for me tonight/cuz I’m feel I’m going/feel I’m slowing down.” 

The morning after Cornell’s death hit the news my buddy and bandmate James told me that en route to work his phone, which was playing music randomly through his car speakers, landed on “Tighter and Tighter” and he had to pull over because he was tearing up. 

“Fell On Black Days” is another song about depression and mortality. Cornell had the following to say about the song: “Fell on Black Days” was like this ongoing fear I’ve had for years ... It's a feeling that everyone gets. You're happy with your life, everything’s going well, things are exciting—when all of a sudden you realize you’re unhappy in the extreme, to the point of being really, really scared. There's no particular event you can pin the feeling down to, it's just that you realize one day that everything in your life is fucked! 

Now, if that’s not a cogent and even-tempered explanation of suicidal thoughts, what is? Why else would Cornell have admitted to being “really really scared” by his depression unless he knew what that depression could ultimately leasd to? Here’s some lyrics to “Fell on Black Days.” Dig the high literary use of “whomsoever” and “whatsoever.” Whatsoever I’ve feared has come to life Whatsoever I fought off became my life Just when every day seemed to greet me with a smile sunspots have faded and now I’m doing time cuz I fell on black days

Whomsoever I’ve cured I’ve sickened now Whomsoever I’ve cradled...I put you down I’m a searchlight soul they say but I can’t see it in the night I’m only faking when I get it right I sure don’t mind a change but I fell on black days how would I know that this could be my fate?

Eagle-eared listeners might think this version different from the album version. They are right. The rendition in the video was recorded live off the floor @ Bad Animals, the Seattle studio owned by Heart, where Soundgarden would record Down on the Upside. 

“Boot Camp” is a scary meditation about loss of agency that for years was tied with Zeppelin’s “I'm Gonna Crawl” for Creepiest Song to Cap a Discography, until Soundgarden reunited and released King Animal.

“Taree” is about ghost light, influencing events after dying and features Cornell’s most exhausted, convincing “yeah” @ 2:57.

“Applebite” is a Matt Cameron-penned ponderous clunker about Adam’s original expulsion from Eden. Doomy and death-laden.

“Let Me Drown” is a song about letting someone die.

“The Day I Tried To Live” is frequently cited as Soundgarden’s finest achievement, its odd time signature somehow sounds straight, thanks to Matt Cameron’s brilliant time keeping.

“4th of July” is a song about a post apocalyptic urban landscape, where the speaker isn’t sure whether he is seeing fireworks or bombs. 

“Limo Wreck” is a cool death song and has an eerie 9-11 prediction. “Building the towers belongs to the sky/when the whole thing comes crashing down don’t ask me why.” 

ANY of the above songs would have been better than that fucking asinine dirge-like major key fuckaround that has somehow not just become Soundgarden's signature song...but their ONLY song. 

Does nobody remember Johnny Cash covering “Rusty Cage?” 

“Outshined?”

“Burden In My Hand?”

“Blow Up The Outside World?”

Did none of these other songs get stuck in the electric head? (The electric head is Rob Zombie’s term for the technologically advanced culture we have found ourselves enmeshed in, or imprisoned by. It was the subtitle for White Zombie’s 1995 hit album Astro-Creep 2000: Songs of Love, Destruction, and other Synthetic Delusions of the Electric Head.)

For my money (which ain’t much honey), the song that best fits both Cornell’s artistic integrity and the sad circumstances of his suicide is “Tighter and Tighter.” I once wrote a whole article on the way artists use “yeah” as a placeholder or as a way to convey emotion when words themselves aren’t adequate. Dig that tired, world-weary exhausted “yeah” at 5:35 of “Tighter & Tighter.”

Or the creepy line going into the first chorus: remember this...remember everything’s just black or burning sun. Not that I agree with such a bleak worldview. It’s a writer’s line. And Randy Bachman has said, “when you’re a writer, you’d step over your own mother.” That’s the Cornell I want to remember. Not that he would step over his own mother. By all accounts he was a committed family man. I mean, I want to remember the Cornell who created strange atmospheric sonic worlds, who explored the dark side that sadly, eventually won out. His otherworldly beautiful music is what I choose to remember about Chris Cornell, not his estate tastelessly exploiting “Black Hole Sun” by using a line from the song to title a posthumous Cornell album of covers No One Sings Like You Anymore. Sigh.

First Cornell’s widow said this was “Chris’s last album.” Okay. What about the Soundgarden songs he recorded vocals for before he died? Kim Thayil was pretty diplomatic about it when asked recently. Cornell did record vocal tracks for the follow up to King Animal.

Kim Thayil: “Given our love for Chris, I do not see us reconfiguring without him.”

But he makes it clear in this interview that Cornell’s widow Vicky has those tracks and won’t release them to the band. Maybe because she blames the band for Chris dying that night? She’s not wrong to believe that they would have known, and seen, what kind of shape Cornell was in, at least at the venue, maybe not later at the hotel.

Kim Thayil: “It’s entirely possible that a new Soundgarden album will be released. Certainly. All it would need is to take the audio files that are available. I tighten up the guitars. Ben does the bass. We get the producers we want to make it sound like a Soundgarden record.”

Interviewer: “Is there an obstacle stopping that?”

Kim Thayil: “There shouldn’t be. There really isn’t. Other than the fact that we don’t have those files.”

Interviewer: “They’re not under your auspices?”

Kim Thayil: “Right. It would be ridiculous if [the record wasn’t made]. But these are difficult things. Partnerships and...property.”

You’re just gonna keep those wav files? And why title his covers album Volume 1 if it’s his “last album?”

Oh right. $$$

No one does sing like Cornell, but is “Black Hole Sun” really the best thing he ever did? The best song he ever sang? Should an album of covers be the last thing he gives to the world?

The only honest answer is no.

Sleep tight Chris. You’re gone.

[itsbuckysworld]

Knives Out - a spoiler-free rant

I did say I would do this and there’s a 99.999999% chance that NO ONE cares about my opinion or this post, but hey, I’m in film school and if I can’t make a single assessment from this movie that sounds like it came from the mouth of a ‘film student’ then I'm wasting ma moneeeh. 

Let’s start with what I think is the basics: the screenplay. 

OH, MY WORDS! THE WORDS! and not just that THE SETTING! If you have never read a screenplay let me give you a crash course: you gonna build a house? you need yourself some blueprints. Scripts are blueprints: they tell you when what where and so much more in between the lines. Knives Out has one of the best blueprints I’ve seen – granted that may not be much coming from someone who hasn’t seen most cult classics - I know, why am I even in film school? – Anyways, as a lover of storytelling and writing, I just have to say it: holy shit it’s so well written! 

Each character has a clear voice and not just because there are very different actors playing these parts, no, I can tell this must have read like a dream on table reads! – I’m legitimately on the hunt for hopefully all the drafts of this screenplay, I need to read this – The pacing is incredible, the exposition. The amount of information you know or think that you know over the characters is set at the perfect level. It’s your classic who-dun-it but like... Fucking hilarious and amazing. It’s witty, funny, and very captivating. You go in and have your assumptions about everyone and everything and then the rug is pulled from under you but not in that “wtf did i just watch” way. It all makes glorious sense, it all has purpose and I LOVE IT. 

As a person who got the ‘who did it’ spoiled - I STILL DIDN’T KNOW WHO DONE IT UNTIL IT WAS REVEALED!

HOW AMAZING IS THAT! I literally saw a tik tok with pictures of who’s responsible and went god fuck damn it, and then I sat in that movie theater and honest to God I was doubting myself and the information 100% I knew.

I knew I knew... but I didn’t know at the same time... and that, my friends, in this setting, is fan-tas-tic storytelling. I sat there making excuses for this person because they didn’t seem like it, but then they did, and then they didn’t and I was having the time of my life in this rollercoaster.

AND THAT’S ALL WITHOUT TALKING ABOUT THE IMAGERY?! Oh my sweet baby moses, the production design team here takes all the marbles! ALL OF THEM – except the ones that already went to the writers – because this is just visual metaphor heaven! This movie is GORGEOUS, every prop and/or piece of decor is just an absolute delight!

Without spoiling anything, the camera placements to put certain people in certain shaped frames at certain times? G E N I U S! The frames themselves are just so natural yet completely whack? The whole house decor is completely nuts, crazy enough that after a while there’s absolutely obvious things hidden in plain sight because your eyes are just used to this clutter by now. And this clutter makes sense after spending a while with these crazy characters. 

Not only that, some of the foreshadowings – I guess that’s a word i made up now – and metaphors are so on the nose that any other movie would have done it and you’d be mad that the creators would think you’re not smart enough to get it, but in this movie, it’s just perfect comedic timing and so relevant, especially because, as I said earlier, you know, and you know you know, but you also don’t know. 

I could watch this movie over and over and just do it for the sake of looking at the backgrounds and foregrounds and deciphering extra stuff. There is magic and beautiful storytelling in every corner, every frame of that movie. 

I will keep this as spoiler-free as possible but to anyone that has seen this movie, think back to it, these characters all wore basically the same thing or themes the whole movie, from solid one-color pieces to the same shoes to the same jacket to the same style of suit, and it ALL MEANS SOMETHING. And if you’ve seen it, think back to that phone call between ana de armas and the girl from 13 reasons why – too lazy to look up her name – when she steps forward and what do we see perfectly framed by the light? GOSH! it’s just poetic cinema at its finest! 

Feel free to fangirl over this movie with me, whenever. This movie was the best game of Clue ever and you can 100% play more than once, which is insane to say about a movie when you think about it. I, for one, cannot wait to watch this movie again. I think it’s probably going to be one of my favorite movies of 2020. Maybe the whole decade. 

Hands down, knives out.

[mimzy-writing-online]

Describing Eyes (without Color)

I saw myself in the mirror tonight. I saw my eyes in the mirror tonight and everything else about them. holy shit. i don’t look good. i’m well used to the red-purple coloring under my eyes and it’s usually limited to around the inner corner of my eye but oh my god it GOT WORSE it’s red/purple/and BLUE now. my under eye circles?? (is this the right word for them??) are turning blue and stretching out to the outer corner of my eyes. (I googled it, originally I said eyebags but that’s not what this) but yeah I have not been sleeping well for my entire life and lately I’ve been up until 3 in the morning AND IT SHOWS

I started this post a week ago and then lost momentum and saved it to draft, but the scary sight of my eye circles has me revisiting this. So here it is, describing eyes without color.

Things that make eyes special:

We will all fall into the habit of over describing the color of a character’s eyes, we will all mention rare gemstones and oceans and skies and chocolate and warm and etc.

To be clear, there’s nothing wrong with mentioning the color of your character’s eyes, but there are a bunch of other cool details you can add into describing eyes that tell more than just color.

Read More about Describing Eyes without Color Below

Details about health, age, and wellbeing

the thin creases at the corners, hints of wrinkles yet to come, years yet to live, but signs of a life well lived and far from over

The purple and red shadows wrapping around tired eyes, this poor person has been working so hard and trying their absolute best and the thing they need most in this world is a full night’s rest

when the skin of their eyelids is so thin and pale you can’t help but see the spiderweb network of purple veins. They look almost frail with eyes like that

the foggy color in the eyes of the elderly, cataracts that build up with time and age

half-open eyelids, eyes that slowly blink and nearly close before snapping open, god they look so tired

dilated pupils from drug use

mismatching pupils after a concussion or head trauma

the whites of the eyes may be read from recently smoking weed

the whites of their eyes are yellow from jaundice or other liver failures

the skin around their eyes is puffy/baggy (other poor health issues)

eyes are shaking/dancing from a condition called nystagmus, which is a condition common with people with vision loss/eye conditions. I don’t have it but Molly Burke does. Here’s a link to a video she made about it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBB8nIz9FW0

Here’s a basic article of nystagmus to add to it: https://www.allaboutvision.com/conditions/nystagmus.htm

side note I like allaboutvision’s website for a lot of simplified explanation of vision conditions and they were a huge help to me in research about my illness. Look for multiple sources always in your research

Details about emotion in the eyes

eyelashes matted together and damp with tears

irritated, red tear ducts from too much crying and rubbing

smudged makeup from crying

sloppy makeup because they were in a hurry to get out the door (were they late to work and panicking? Were they late to a date and too excited/nervous to check their makeup?)

the wideness and bright eagerness or surprise, waiting for something big, especially in children

eyes squint shut when people laugh or smile widely sometimes. I have a character with a specific smile like this that most other characters don’t have.

Some people can have a sort of dead/empty look in their eyes, something vacant. Lights off, nobody home. Reasons for this might be: drug/alcohol use, disassociation due to mental illness (early/mid/post anxiety attack? flashback? depression? distress?) or due to grief. It could be due to emotional or medical shock. (those two are very different and you should definitely know what medical shock is if you write about anything traumatic happening to your characters, especially when third parties like cops and medical personnel get involved)

People’s eyes could be “dead looking” because they’re at a point of mental exhaustion, such as a dead-end job sucking the life and energy out of them or because they’ve been up too late studying for a test they feel hopeless for

Details about the character themselves

the color of their eye makeup can say so much about a person’s style. Imagine someone in a hospital gown but with dark eyeshadow and dark purple lipstick, that bit of personal style that can’t be erased by the anonymity of a hospital gown

their eyes are obscured from a scratched, smudged pair of glasses that are several years old now. Are the glasses really that old or are they a bit careless with their glasses and accumulate scratches quickly?

their makeup and glasses compliment each other, they wanted to look nice and put in effort

Actions used with the eyes

Characters roll their eyes when they’re amused or finding a joke not funny or are annoyed with another character. Eye rolling can be very expressive

Eyes drift and fix to one spot when someone is daydreaming, rarely moving from that space (in my experience. My and my dad both have been asked about staring by my mom for this)

Some characters are horrible with eye contact and this can involve many reasons. It is common in autistic people, but it’s also pretty common for autistic people to make too much eye contact to compensate/seem normal. (they shouldn’t have to compensate/seem normal/make themselves uncomfortable for social convention, but whatever)

Or someone might have anxiety and in social situations eye contact is bad

They grew up being abused by an adult or authority figure and eye contact could have resulted in angering their abuser, or refusing to give eye contact could have angered their abuser. Think this over with any of your abused characters and decide where they fall in that.

I (sometimes) struggle to make eye contact with people I’m dating or have a crush on, that’s just personal experience but not all of my life experiences can be that unique, really, not that special

Characters who are nervous and/or in dangerous situations will flicker their eyes between different people in the situation, with a higher focus on possible threats

someone might be good at hiding when they jump from surprise or suppress a flinch, but their eye twitches because evolution and the human body can’t stand the idea of their eyes being hurt... (well aren’t you just a defiant shit giving evolution the middle finger, I think to myself, blind and doing ~just fine, thank you~ with your vision impairment/disability... sorry, I just love pointing out the irony)

eyes can stay pinned to someone specific because they’re worried about that person, whether it’s because that other person is obviously injured or ill or mentally/emotionally distressed. 

They might stare/watch that person because they are the true threat in the group. 

It might be because that person is enigmatic and your character can’t quite figure them out. It might be because your character is in love with that other person or has a strong crush on them and wants to see and observe every moment of that person’s life

eyes can be calmly shut during meditation

eyes will twitch behind closed lids during REM sleep (research this too) but your characters won’t likely notice unless they’re looking closely

or what if that person is pretending to be asleep but their eyes aren’t moving like that and someone notices

words words words words words...

Some simple one word explanations for eyes so you can be quick/brief in your descriptions (you don’t need to be super descriptive of everyone’s eyes, just when it matters to your character or plot)

Eyes are-

kind, calm, tired, sleepy, weary, sad, haunting, agonized, lonely, happy, energetic, lively, empty, wrinkled, squinting, suspicious, flickering, flighty, angry, furious, fiery, regretful, tearful, crying, wandering, loving, worried, distant, vacant

I feel I should go back to my “How Observant Are Your Characters” post, because knowing how observant your characters are or what their critical thinking skill to interpret the things they see will help you decide what your characters should notice about a person’s eyes and what they should not notice.

How Observant are Your Characters? https://mimzy-writing-online.tumblr.com/post/185322857894/how-observant-are-your-characters

(It’s occurring to me that it’s getting late ~ha, I’m living up to my blog header of late night writing advice~ and that I should be sleeping if I want any improvement on my over-all sleep deprivation issues (I don’t care about the eye circles as much as the needing sleep to not die or lose my sanity bit) so I’ll end it here

Follow this blog for writing advice, relatable writing posts and memes, as well as updates to A Witch’s Memory, my wip.

[ain-t-bovvered]

14x10 Commentary

Zeta and Giuls scream together, and then die.

Me & Zeta will watch together season 14′s episodes as they come out and we’ll do our commentary while watching.

1 2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9

14x10 Nihilism 

-I did not want to see Jack like that again thanks

Zeta: true

- And there was a need for some wings there honestly .

[ comes back crawling]

HERE

Zeta:  the bar sceeeene

-.....THAT’S A DAMN SQUIRREL WITH A AVIATOR CAP ON ( also I re wrote squirrel four times before getting it right) 

- MOOSE!!! 

-......The Moose has a tag with “FAMILY BUSINESS” written on it----lol Jensen

Zeta: What’s her name

- PAMELAAAAAAAA . Damn woman I went a bit Bi there

Zeta: OH YES.

- [Music: and I’m searching for a rainbow] .....WOW

-[on the counter] Daphne loves Fred.

 my monkey dirty brain: Daddy loves tips. 

-hot. want that.

Zeta: the tequila or the bartender?

Bitch please . both.

- D: “ What are we, savages?”

Zeta: Oh the lips

-Cosmic Cowboy. *chokes*

-FB

-why is it always a ghoul case?

-Lol but who’s the drunk guy tho

Zeta: Bitch, look at her biceps

- some Bi slippage there too I see. FOCUS

Zeta: also indeed. Who is he?

-D:”I’ve never had anything this nice”

Also....I would be like Dean if I had a bar. One for the costumer and one for me! woohoo .

- D: “How come you always have a boyfriend?”

  P: “How come you always want what you can’t have?”

[looks into the camera like in the office]

- D: “This is my dream” 

I kinda see it tho....old grumpy Dean Winchester being the Bobby while running a bar like that. Yes....I like it.

- I knew it . I wanna see someone closed behind that “closet” *wink wink*

Zeta: Oh oh

Zeta: the slo mo.

-NICE .You are welcome for this gif where I let you enjoy the full over the count jump. Nice healthy middle age man over the fence jump ( nevermind this is an italian oil ad ).

-The blood. So cute

Zeta: I’m famous

- mmm

Zeta: shit

-Hello M boi, I missed you fam

Zeta: Changed clothes

- OMFG are you saying that the Archangel Michael macVanity von DramaQueen really just angel mojo changed into his Peaky Blinder wanna be in front of them?

He’s so flamboyant , I love him .

Zeta: The close up

- M making three men kneel with so much as lift his hands.  WHAT A MOOD. WHERE CAN I GET THAT? I WANT 10.

- M : “ I saw everything”  Yeah no shit we kinda see that coming too

-DoN ‘T IntERrUPt mE 

Zeta: Don’t interrupt me

-I’m-

I’m so bothered right now. Dom Michael for the win

-OH WOW

- Sam just “assbutted” Michael lol.

Castiel : Sam....did you just molotov my brother with holy fire?

Sam: uh ....No?

- HE ANGRY

- Dean’s not home right now...

Zeta: Please leave a message

*giggling* I love him

Zeta: His voice GOD DAMN

-yes

- Castiel hair tho.

Zeta: Do you? Cocky much

-but needs to play it cool. Can’t risk to mess up the pomaded hair.

- S:” We the angel cuffs on , Michael is under control”

 M: “Keep telling yourself that “  ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

I *clap* LOVE *clap* HIM *clap*

- S: “Dump him in the trunk of the Impala” ... DUMP HIM .ahahahahaah

-Garth is in the trunk

Zeta: it’s a big trunk

-M: “ It’s a party!”

- J: “ It’s not like any of us can fly”

 M : “ Well one of us can”

 S: “ STFU”

- J:” Sam, are we gonna die here?” ... wow Jack...babe...stfu

-Yes OMG I forgot about the stalky reaper

Zeta: You mess up so many things

- it ain’t wrong

- [in john Mulaney’s Trump voice] we locked Death away and enslaved the reapers

Zeta: Poor Cas

- ok but WHO....death? Michael is asking himself that too.

-Yes , put him in the dungeon. HOT

Zeta: shit

-I can hear you

Zeta: Shit

-Ahahahahahaahah

Zeta: SHIT

-I’m loving this

Zeta: Bring back Crowley.

Zeta: We left Garth in the trunk looool

- that....everytime we don’t see a character for long that’s it...they are in the trunk.

Zeta: Castiel

-CASTIEL . so strange, I love him, he’s such a sarcastic asshole.

- M: “Yes, uh, put a chair against the door”

Zeta: This pretty smile as I rip you apart

-I’M SHAKING. YAS.

Zeta: Control yourself

- S: “Cass this is all we’ve got”

Zeta: Again?

- well it is a loop.

-MORE SHOTS.  (me)

Zeta: The only thing missing is “heat of the moment”

- what if the woman is his conscience trying to get him out and if he sign he’s out? ...like....testing his resolution?

-Little insulting

Zeta: you’re nothing

Zeta: Why is he so perfect in this?

- J: “Dean---is strong”

  M *disgusted face*: “ Is a gnat “ . WOW

-OH SHUT UP OOOOH

Zeta: Emotional abuse.

- M: “ he was not happy, but he didn’t care-- Cause you are not Sam, you are not Cass.” 

[ me looking smiling to the Castiel/Misha hateclub]

-M: “You are a weak helpless thing”

- Jack , babe ....get away tho 

Zeta: LISTEN TO YOUR DAD

- M: “no I’m not and I can still hear you”

Zeta: Prick

- Love that prick..... literally 

- I care so little for the others I swear

- M: “Look at you, play nursemaind for a nephilim”

-C: “You are confusing loyalty and compassion for weakness”

Zeta: Damn what am I watching?

- [looks into the camera like in the office] Sexual tension

Zeta: so done. this. Close up

- M “and now...that I’m in here, I know why” 

-CHUCK

Zeta: He churn our draft after draft

- M speaks like he’s singing and mocking you at the same time. He has this musicality in his speak and I love it

- C: “Why would he do that?”

 M: “BECAUSE HE DOESN’T CARE!”

- good lord I swear all the angels are just brats throwing temper tantrum because they have a trash dad.

- M: “But now , I just want to burn every one of his little worlds until I catch up to the Old man”

Zeta: Even god can die.

- oh ok....overachiever much

Zeta: Hurt Jack

- No no Jack babe...keep your fucking soul .

Zeta: Cool science project

- Michael’s mind: if you mess up my perfectly combed hair Cass I swear-

- M: “ I give it a solid B- .....uh oooh”

 me nervously: .....wtf lol 

- M: *snorts* Oh Cass, I believe in you.

So rude...so nasty 

- j: “ What should I do?”

Zeta: Pray

-Thanks Cas, that’s-......that’s great

Zeta: You are all mine

- ..... YESSIR TAKE ME

Zeta: Dean’s mind.

- ..... if it was a funny episode they could have made so many jokes about being empty lol.

- me looking around haters mind ^

Zeta: This is what you are gonna become

-omg

- THAT WAS DEAN IN HELL.

- Dean’ “NOOOO “ at Castiel death is vibrating into my bones.

- S: “Dean is strong”

- C: “Sam, we’ve been through a lot and Dean is more than strong”

- S: “Dean thrive on trauma.” 

WE’VE BEEN KNEW

Zeta: Smart moose

- Somebody has been reading some meta tumblr posts

- P: “You really know how to talk to a lady don’t you?”

 me already at Castiel’s feet : wha

- That’s us fans watching 14 seasons of supernatural ^

-Bloody Cass is 100. *licks lips*

- P: “get me a shot. With your braaaain”

Zeta: Well hello.

- C:” That was- that....DeAN ThAt WaS An ACcidENT”

Zeta: Babyyyy

- them baby faces

- C:” WE NEED YOU TO COME BACK”

- S:”POUGHKEEPSIE”

- Dean’s mind : [ old modem sounds]

-M [Slow clap it out.] : Hey Fellas

-AND THE HAT IS BACK

Zeta: I’m you

Zeta: He gripped you tight and raised you from perdition

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAH I’M DYING SO BAD.

-BITCH I’M DEAD AND GIGGLING I CAN’T.

-but also....but the fuck is Mary at?... like wow.

- also....everything that Micheal is saying right now is causing me actual fucking pain.

- Ok and both Sam and Cas faces? well thanks

Zeta: He’s buying time

-WOW. Slow smile, oooooH

-S: “So in here, you are all talk”

- oh that’s why he doesn’t use his powers. Serviceable .

Zeta: So happy. Fuck

Zeta: Prove it

- Um...yes hello 911? 

Michael getting his hands dirty is too hot for me.

-Fucking Tiger man.

-Come on baby 

Zeta: Jack will do something “stupid”

- Well he is his parents’ son *shrug*

Zeta: that

- D:” Then we don’t kick him out, we keep him in”

-oooooh M goes in the closet, lol

Zeta: Oh my god.

- ....Well that was stupid AHAHAHAAH 

- I can’t stop laughing .

- M [ROAR] 

  me: ....

Zeta: I’m the cage.

-HE IS THE CAGE. That doesn’t seem right tho...come on.

Zeta: So now Dean has Michael locked up

-ooooh the magic hurt him. Forgot about that. My baby.

Zeta: Concerned Dad.

- The way Cass say : “you understand?” killed me....so soft...so worried...

- The little smile! Kill me now.

Zeta: He’s not ok.

-Dean is not ok.

Zeta: [henley alert]

-He’s like....naked. ( still has another tshirt under it tho)

-Oh he’s mad 

- I’M CRYING . HE LOOKS LIKE MY CAT WHEN I REFUSE TO LET HIM OUT .

amazing.

( Sorry for the not that clear gifs but I wanted to cut and past all the bits of that because it’s amazing)

Zeta: He’s suffering so much.

-That troat

- That door is not that sturdy tho

Zeta: Oh hell no

- oh hello death . 

-Aw hell naw.

- Death :” Except one”

-AW HELL NAW

Zeta: Which one?

- UGH

Zeta: No

-NO

Zeta: NOOO so much hurt

-OH FUCK

Zeta: Actual literal pain in my chest

YA KNOW WHAT?....I DON’T LIKE THAT LOOK .

NOT ONE BIT.

.

- lol I don’t even wanna look at tumblr now

Zeta: well you know me....I have

- of course you did

post gifs comment: I didn’t do my crack gifs for now, but they will be done in a separate post.

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If you want to get tagged in the future ones send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.

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