#saw some people make these for other smosh ships

[shaynetopps]

we’re shaymien shippers, of course we:

never forget that they were roommates

rewatch “hacking off” even though it only had like 5 episodes

keep track of every time damien touches shayne in a video

can clearly hear “whoa! oops!” in their voices

love the “best friends to lovers” trope

think “dog” and “dude” are the most romantic nicknames

think damien is the only person who can make shayne laugh louder than he does at his own jokes

are down bad for both of them

[toiletclown]

breathless.

spencer agnew x gn!reader

mostly fluff, a little angst.

summary: you've had feelings for your best friend, spencer, almost as long as you have known him. it isn't getting any easier, and you need to tell him soon, whether he feels the same or not. your friends are pushing you, the fans already ship you, and after courtney and shayne's success, you just couldn’t bare to keep lying anymore. to yourself, or to him.

word count: 2028

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

It’s been two years since you graduated from Smosh crew member to Smosh cast member. You weren’t the first, and are unlikely to be the last, but it’s still a bit nerve-wracking. You were moved to cast not long after Spencer made his switch to cast, but that was exactly your problem, wasn’t it? When you were both on crew, it was easier. Small smiles, hidden glances, a blush forming under your mask. Once or twice, Brennan had swiveled his camera to the crew to get their reactions and you couldn’t duck fast enough to dodge the shot. 

You both shared moments without fear of judgment, knowing everyone at Smosh knew how close you were. Some more than others. But once you were both on camera more often, those moments dwindled to near nothingness. You couldn’t make eyes at him, he couldn’t flirt with you. Plenty of the cast flirted with each other on and off camera, of course, but it was different somehow. The office flirting became private hangout flirting, which then became no flirting at all. 

He didn’t get jealous anymore when Amanda or Angela flirted with you, and you did your best not to get jealous when he flirted with Tommy or Shayne. It was like your friendship was entirely platonic again. And while that was all it had ever been – platonic – it hurt a little. It was like something happened overnight, and the flirting wasn’t cool anymore.

The last time something happened before your promotion to cast, Spencer, Angela, and Chanse were doing Who Meme’d It with Shayne, and someone had sent in a meme about you always looking at Spencer. As soon as it popped up, everyone was laughing, and Brennan promptly turned his camera to get your face. You were smart enough to expect it, and you managed to push out a laugh and shrug to the camera. All in good fun, it seemed. But really, it was a little bit upsetting to realize you were so obvious about your affection for Spencer. You thought that you were fairly secretive and weren’t too over the top, but apparently not so much.

“Okay, ‘Y/N pretending they weren’t just staring at Spencer’! Spencer, any thoughts?” Shayne said through giggles. 

Spencer made eye contact with you, and you did your best to hold it. “Gotta be honest, Shayne, I wasn’t even aware they stared at me. Guess they’re sneakier than I thought!” Everyone was laughing again, and you joined in. Instead of making a joke about him staring at you, or a joke about you two flirting in your pod, he went with a PR answer. You could barely admit to yourself how bad it had stung. And sure, most people got roasted in Who Meme’d It, especially with the lack of funeral roasts, but it didn’t really feel good to have your private crush on Spencer blasted to not only cast and crew, but whoever ends up watching this video. And his comment was making it seem more one-sided than you liked.

After the laughter settled down, Shayne got back to hosting. “Alright, who meme’d it! Was it Erin Dougal? Courtney? Or Y/N themselves?” You made a silly face when Brennan panned to you, channeling your best mad scientist look. Your face dropped immediately after. No one saw it.

The cast members debated for a second before writing down their answers. It was Courtney across the board. “Alright, so we all think Courtney made this meme. Angela, what makes you think it was Courtney?” 

“Shayne, that’s a great question, thank you so much for being here with me today. I said Court because I have seen them having little whisper sessions with Y/N and I simply don’t trust like that!” Angela laughed, a bright smile on her face. She winked at you once the camera had moved away from her face. She was actually your go-to confidant, and you were sure she knew that. She was your best friend, behind Spencer, after all.

After a dramatic pause, it was revealed that Erin Dougal was the one who made the meme. You could have called that from a mile away, but that was because Erin was constantly telling you to ask Spencer out. You shot her down every time, knowing it was safer and easier to suffer in silence with your feelings rather than to possibly fuck everything up with your best friend. Besides, suffering in silence was what you were best at.

//

And now, a few months later, you were the one in front of the camera for a Who Meme’d It. It was your first time actually competing, although you’ve sent your fair share of memes in. Spencer and Angela were the only two people to continuously guess you correctly, which in the grand scheme of things made the most sense as they were your closest friends at Smosh. However, you were now competing against both of them, and your competitive side didn’t have a concept of “friendship”, unfortunately. 

“Okay! Welcome back to Who Meme’d It! Today we have Angela, Y/N, and Spencer competing. And Y/N is quite competitive so let’s hope they still have their best friends after this!” Shayne introduced you all, smiling at you to ease your anxiety. 

“Lest we forget what happened when they were on Don’t Win Mario Party and nearly killed me,” Spencer said, turning towards you with his hands folded on the table. His eyes were smiling, but he was trying his best to keep a serious face.

You turned to face him, mirroring his expression and hands. “Lest we forget you deserved that attack because you fucked with my controller mid-lap so that you could get seventh.”

“Okay, are we doing Who Meme’d It or the Newlywed Game?” Angela joked, and you and Spencer returned to your normal positions, excited to play.

//

After the shoot, Spencer caught up with you in the kitchen. “You got your first Who Meme’d It win, how’s it feel?” You had indeed won, but only by two points. Spencer was right behind you and Angela frankly tanked it this episode. Usually she wasn’t too bad, but perhaps she knew how competitive you were going to be and decided to focus more on having fun instead of winning. Especially considering there was content being made that needed to be entertaining.

“Eh, I feel like my competitiveness isn’t very fun on camera. I’m hoping we don’t have to scrap the ep simply because I was too locked in.” You grabbed some fruit from the fridge and prepared to make your way to a table so you could sit and destress before your next shoot. You weren’t needed on set for over an hour so you were ready to mindlessly doomscroll while you snacked on your peaches.

Spencer chuckled at your comment, which made your heart flutter a bit. Suddenly, you had the urge to touch him. You put your hand on his shoulder, mostly unconsciously, not actively making the decision but simply just doing it. His giggling stopped instantly, and he looked at your hand cryptically, his expression unreadable. All too suddenly, it felt too serious, too personal, so you instantly pivoted. “But at least you didn’t win, right?” You smiled, patting his shoulder and turning to head to your seat. 

You were hoping, for the first time ever if you were being honest, that he wouldn’t follow you. Things had been weird between you two for a few weeks now, and you almost wanted some space to deal with the pain of your best friend seeming to lose interest in your friendship. And once again, Erin had submitted a meme that made you a little upset. You knew it was unreasonable to be upset with her, as it was all in good fun and she wasn’t actually trying to hurt your feelings. You should probably try to talk to her about that, since you knew she wouldn’t take your upset personally.

This one was arguably worse than the first one though, because instead of it being at your expense, it was technically at Spencer’s. The meme wasn’t mean in any regard, but it was making fun of Spencer for consistently getting “lost in his thoughts” whenever you were on a shoot together. Of course, Erin alluded to those thoughts being romantic in nature, which earned a few oohs and aahs from the crew and cast alike. You had felt your face get warm and tried to remind yourself you were on camera and it was all in good fun. 

Your thoughts were interrupted by Courtney approaching you. “Y/N, Spence! Just the two people I wanted to see. I have a question for you guys.” 

Clearly, Spencer had intended on following you, since Courtney had greeted you both. You sighed as quietly as possible, before asking Court if you could sit down before you all got to talking. Your castmates followed you to a table, and you popped a piece of fruit in your mouth. “Okay, what's up?” 

“Well, we wanted to do a Guitar Hero stream next week. I know you haven't been on any of the livestreams, so I figured I’d ask if you wanted to be in this one. You don't have to play but if you sit and make commentary I’m sure that'll be enough! But of course you can play if you want to.” Courtney was always so thoughtful, and you made a mental note to thank her for always being so considerate. 

“Oh hell yeah, I finally get to show off my guitar skills. It’s been a minute since I’ve played, but if Y/N’s down, I’m down!” Spencer’s eyes lit up. He had been trying to figure out a way to impress you and gauge your reaction before he finally took the leap and asked you on a date.

Everyone had been encouraging him to do so for months at this point, but he still wasn’t so sure about it. Yeah, you blushed whenever he mentioned you on camera and you blushed a lot during the shoot today when Erin’s meme came up. But some part of him felt like that had less to do with reciprocating a crush and more to do with embarrassment. 

You thought for a minute, munching on your peach slice. “Sure, that sounds fun. Spencer, maybe you could teach me how to play?”

Spencer broke out in a grin, “Of course I can. Although I’m surprised you’ve never played it before, it’s an iconic franchise.”

Courtney worked out a few more details with the two of you before making their way back to their pod. When she had left, Spencer turned his attention back to you. “Have you seriously never played Guitar Hero before?” He genuinely was having trouble believing that.

Truthfully, you had played before. Many times. And you were actually quite skilled at it. But it’s been quite some time since you picked up and played it, and you knew you would be rusty. Plus, you were mentally hatching a plan. Have Spence “teach” you the game, play extremely badly the whole time, then on stream you can kick his ass on Expert mode. Perfect plan.

“I have not. I might have played once or twice as a kid but I don’t really remember the controls or, like, speed, since I know some of the songs are really fast.”

“Okay, do you wanna come by my place tonight after work? I have a bunch of the Guitar Hero games but I also have Clone Hero which will probably be what we use on the stream anyway.”

Oh, right. Not-so-perfect plan. If you were to be taught, you needed to be taught before the livestream. Which means you had to hang out with Spencer outside of work. You can survive one night alone with him, right? You’ve done it so many times before. Sure, it’s been a few weeks since you guys hung out, and with your increasing feelings for him you were sure to be awkward. But it was Spencer! Your best friend in the whole world! It would be just fine. Right?

[okiankeno]

A little rant abt speculation and smosh + things I've been seeing on Twitter, Tumblr, Reddit etc.

People are so weird abt speculation with smosh members and being like oh this cast or crew doesn't like x because of y and the same can be said abt shipping but focusing on the former issue, why are people actively involving yourself in creating an issue that may not be there. I saw a few posts about Amanda potentially making Courtney uncomfortable in improvising with Shayne.

Really?

If the cast and crew members choose to share info or set boundaries that is up to them. With shipping, people are having fun. Enjoying dynamics, and creating things. We know that it's fiction. And in that vein, I suppose, acceptable in that we know it isn't real. For myself, shipping is fun unless the people being shipped explicitly state they're uncomfortable with it. Then you shouldn't do it.

Negative speculation doesn't create anything but drama, because people are assuming things to be true. I know this because I was pretty invested in the drama revolving around Damien a few months ago. I'm more harsh on these recent claims with Amanda because like.. this isn't a cast member and a fan, these are two cast members who interact with each other regularly. It's just so weird because it's not our place to comment on how comfortable another person is unless we are that person. These are actors on screen. Who is to say that Courtney felt uncomfortable with Amanda's improvising? Do we know that she felt that way? No.

I just don't feel good seeing some of the things I read.

[awesomeferret10]

I would like to talk about Ianthony as of post April 1st 2024. (With obvious parallels to both The Event and Dan and Phil)

1. I see a lot of people like obsessively combing over every glance and reading into every word which isn’t anything new but I feel has really kicked up a notch lately. My general response to this is the ianthony “relationship” label shouldn’t matter. They obviously love each other platonically or anything else and I think it’s important sometimes to take a step back from your theorizing and hyperventilating to just enjoy them as people and their friendship and how much they care

2. Keep in mind this isn’t like Dan and Phil. They aren’t young people who haven’t been given the opportunity to discover/express themselves. They both still confidently state they’re straight up to a couple of months ago. When they’ve actively been asked for over 10 years what their sexuality is constantly I feel as though maybe they would have done some internal exploration of their sexualities by now. Obviously sexualities aren’t static and labels don’t matter. Gender and sex is nothing compared to the connection of people and often sexuality labels can be completely overridden or thrown into question by one person. On top of the fact that Anthony has essentially stated this himself of “you never know 🤷‍♂️” but like. They still both are confident in the label of straight. So chill out a little.

3. The crew shipping them isn’t some like inside joke within the smoffice. It’s an inside joke within the community THAT WE ARE ALL INSIDE OF. It’s a joke built by years of Ian and Anthony playing into fans questions for views and the fact that many of their employees were previously Smosh fans. So although it’s funny that all the editors and cast and crew are playing into it more than Ian and Anthony themselves in the videos remember it’s not proof of anything. They’re just being silly goofy.

4. I get it. Because before The Event I was very dismissive of every shourtney shipper. I enjoyed their genuine connection as best friends and people who clearly loved each other. But every time I saw something pointing out “oh Courtney said this” “oh look how Shayne looked at them here” I had the “this isn’t 2010 guys when will you give it up they’re just besties” reaction. I never thought people were insane for noticing that possible connection but I also just thought people were driving themselves mad reading into stuff. Obviously a lot of the things people pointed out are still probably nothing because again people were analyzing literally every microsecond.

5. Like no seriously I get it. On inspection Ian and Anthony make fuck me eyes at each other. Like constantly. They look at each other like there’s no one else in the world sometimes. The behind the scenes for my dead friend where they just spend 2 minutes with Ian trying to stick something in Anthony’s pocket while both of them are giggling is literally middle school flirting. Anthony tearing up at the story of best friends turned lovers. Little bit dramatic king. Like we all know why Shayne and Courtney love that story. But Anthony dude. After going through April 1st 2024 I totally understand not wanting to discard any of the shit these two idiots say. And it’s also really funny since they’ve proven they don’t care. Just want everyone to remember to be careful to just enjoy them soley as a duo without the conspiracy of a relationship on occasion.

[lilac-hecox]

When I saw that new discord created just for "rarepairs" I definitely got the vibe that its targeted towards the ianthony fandom in disguise. It's a shame that this fandom felt already so divided with one part of the fandom not giving smosh main channel or sketches a chance on smosh reddit and now same bad vibes are being bought on smoshblr. honestly it's giving "Oh I am not like others, I'm different" syndrome. It's completely alright to not connect with something, but to actively talk shit about it in fandom spaces and putting other creatives down who produce fan-content related to that is next level of weird. If you don't like something why are you even engaging with that piece of content? it's like those high school bullies. I'm sorry for this rant but it's really sad to see people dragging others down over *checks notes* fanfiction. like it's supposed to be something lighthearted and way of expression. And to these people acting holier than thou over a fanfic, while themselves dabbling with rpf which is itself a polarizing thing doesn't make sense. creating a whole server just to be a hater is crazy.

I think you're right and the server was born from a hate of the 'main' ship in our fandom and not created to celebrate the rare pairings in the fandom. Even so, to devote a whole channel so shitting on a pairing seems like too much to me, but again, if people don't like Ianthony, it is their prerogative and I was told by several members that the ianthony bashing was in good fun and for the most part I believe that. I think that the creator had some bad vibes and motives behind the server and kind of used it to further their own agenda.

I think a rare pair server is a really good idea but just less toxic. I was talking to @punk-gremlin about potentially making one (but tbh I do not have time to be a moderator so I would need a trusted moderator).

I will say though I saw others who also thought the server was for celebrating rare pairs and not tearing down the popular ones. When I addressed the issues with the creator I was told, "Well, you're an ianthony person i didn't think you would join the server." but the server isn't marketed as an anti-ianthony server, its a rare pairs server and I enjoy rare pairs like Amanda/Ian, Amanda/Shayne, etc.

Anyways, yes, tl;dr its okay to like and celebrate rare pairs, its okay to not like or be tired of the main pairing in the fandom, not okay to bully others in public spaces though.

Would anyone be interested in being a mod for a rare pair server that is made and not toxic?

[under-the-canyonmoon]

I have a hot take on Courtney and Shayne's announcement! And I'm going to preface this by saying that I do not mean this as hate!! Shayne has been my favorite Smosh cast member since I started watching them years ago. I'm just having a hard time wrapping my brain around all of this because what the actual fuck??, ya know???

This just feels SUPER weird to me! When it was first announced, my first thought was like, "the joke is probably going to end up being that it isn't a joke", and then it went to thinking that they were actually together but the getting married part wasn't true and I was pretty much convinced that that was what it was. There had been rumors about them dating for quite a while and I figured this was probably their way of confirming all of that. But it felt too weird that they'd actually get married. They had been shipped together for ages, it had been like an ongoing thing, they did that video where they said they weren't dating and they'd probably never date because they saw each other as siblings and all of that. AND YES, I am fully aware that even if they really genuinely felt like that, which I'm sure they probably did in some sense because they've had a close friendship, feelings can change at any point! It also reminded me a lot of Matt Cutshall and Arielle Vandenberg when they were on Vine. EVERYONE shipped them and were like, "When are you going to get together???" and Arielle was like, "No, that's never going to happen ever, I don't see him that way!!" and now they're married. So I KNOW things like that happen all of the time. But it still SEEMS SO WEIRD, and I honestly don't know why. I'm still half expecting them to release some kind of video or something that's going to be like "I'm serving divorce papers" or they're going to have a podcast episode where they're going to confess it all and say that it was all a huge prank. Doesn't matter how much "proof" there is that it's real, doesn't matter hos many times they say that's real, my brain is still trying to convince me that something about it is fake. The comments on their posts from the other cast members felt fake, they were just playing along. The captions on the pictures felt fake. Now there's a People's Magazine article about it?? Damien confirmed it on his live game feed and part of me felt like if it was actually real, he'd make a bigger deal about it cause it's his best friend, but that was the only thing I've seen from him, unless he's posted something more recently, I stopped stalking people's pages yesterday. But yeah. This is where I'm currently at! And I don't know if I'm the only one still "in denial" or whatever, but here we are. Is anyone else still coming down from all of this information we have received the past couple days?? I want to know what people's thoughts are!

[sushicha]

I think one if the things that's always bothered me about the backlash Shartney shippers get is that whenever we engage with or talk about ANY of the evidence, we get accused of "stalking". I preface this by saying yes, some of the behaviors in the community over the years borders on cyberstalking. Like, I wasn't apart of the Shourtney Discord server, I never geoguessr'ed their fucking hotel rooms or anything like that.

But like... why am I a stalker because I watched Jackie's IG story and saw them slow dancing? Or why am I a stalker because Courtney posted a cute picture with Shayne on their IG story that quickly got removed? Or why am I stalker because I have fucking eyes and can tell there are extreme similarities between Courtney's and Shayne's apartments? Or why am I a stalker because one day I look through Courtney's tagged photos and see a family picture with both of them? Does it take Sherlock levels of obsessiveness to conclude that Courtney wearing Shayne's exact ASU sweater is kind of an intimate thing?

Like, I just love Smosh, I follow a lot of their socials, and I have basic fucking observational skills. And the idea of them dating is kind of exciting and I like to talk with other people about it and make sure I'm not crazy.

I agree that certain Shourtney discourse over the years has sucked. People extrapolate wild conclusions based on little to no evidence at all. It's been very cis-heteronormative which is lame, especially when Courtney is LGBTQ.

That's why I wasn't really a Shourtney shipper until the ACTUAL evidence started rolling in. And the thing is, the proof is all on public platforms, y'all. Half of the shit literally just pops up on my feed, like Smosh people's stories, or even Shourtney TikToks and compilations. It's usually tagged with Smosh, so like, I'm gonna see it? And for the little amount of digging I have done, I literally just look up "#shourtney" on IG or Tumblr. Takes two steps.

"Stalking", be so ffr...

I get that everyone wants to enjoy the fruits of the Shourtney ship while moral grandstanding about how "weird" the shippers are in order to make themselves look superior. Like, congrats to you all??? But we're all lowkey invested, and it's not that deep.

I'm the first to admit that it sucks that they want to keep their relationship a secret, yet all of us have lowkey found out and dissect their posts and shit. But again, I just have eyes... I'm not out following them home, and I'm not out here Jehovah's Witnessing at people's doors about the good word of Shourtney. We hop on Tumblr or IG or TikTok and talk amongst ourselves.

Yeah, they've probably seen some of, or maybe even a lot of what people have found out. We're not conversing in private chatrooms. However, the sheer number of people who DON'T know, and/or Shourtney deniers is proof that we're not out of control and their efforts to conceal it is still very effective. No one's made a YouTube essay, mf'ers like Keemstar aren't running their mouths... it's chill, guys. Despite all the evidence out there, Courtney still said that Shourtney shippers don't bother her. So like???

/rant

[tame-a-messenger]

“Are there a lot more Damangela posts out there that I’m missing? Because I saw a couple posts complaining about people talking about Damangela but I swear it’s literally only you and MAYBE one or two other people talking about them. Also it’s wild to me that people would complain about Damangela when Ianthony is RIGHT THERE or even amangela or spommy like people talk about these ALL the time writing lots of smut and everything but people are gonna complain about the five Damangela posts that happen every few days at most?? No hate to people talking about any of those ships I’m not one of those people who care so much about what people ship (if I don’t like it I just ignore it) but I just think it’s weird to call out Damangela when it’s such a small ship no one really talks about too much. And 99% of the Damangela posts are platonic and not romantic anyway so I don’t get why people are bothered by it.”

Hi Mitty! good to see you!

“Are there a lot more Damangela posts out there that I’m missing? Because I saw a couple posts complaining about people talking about Damangela but I swear it’s literally only you and MAYBE one or two other people“

That’s what has me all confused. I’m pretty sure there’s only a small handful of Damangela acc on here, or anywhere. I don’t really know why people have been getting so up in arms about Damangela? I’ve been seeing a lot of hate for ‘damangela shippers’ when I really can only think of like 3? that are openly shipping them together??

Most people posting about Damangela are purely Dynamic Enjoyers™, and openly stating that. I don’t know where this wave of people came from, talking about ‘damangela shippers’ like there’s so many.

“people would complain about Damangela when Ianthony is RIGHT THERE or even amangela or spommy“

I think it’s because those ships in particular are all queer ships. It always strikes me as odd that people are EXTREMELY comfortable shipping rpf if it’s queer, but if it’s hetero they say it’s an invasion of privacy and weird. Like you’re saying IT’S NOT AN INVASION IF ITS GAY??? WHERES THE LOGIC?? do people not understand how sexuality works? (if you have a problem with rpf COMMIT TO IT. DONT PRETEND ITS OK ONLY IF ITS QUEER. shipping real people is shipping real people.)

(I do realize that all of those ships have pretty obvious reasons why they aren’t taken as seriously. Amanda is married, Spencer is straight(?), ... , so I understand that side, but if you truly think rpf is bad, commit to it.)

I’d also like to say just because a Woman/Man is hetero, does NOT mean they romantically like EVERY Man/Woman they meet. 

“it’s weird to call out Damangela when it’s such a small ship no one really talks about too much“

That’s what I’m thinking as well, like I said, I can only think of maybe 3 people that openly ship them together? and they don’t even post that regularly. It almost feels like they’re trying to head off future shippers because of the Podcast clip that came out recently? (the Christmas Event™)

That’s ^ the only reasonable thing I can think of. (they still aren’t doing a very good job as a community... I think it’s because there’s been a lot of new fans the last couple years)(along with Smosh not being very good with fan discourse)(I could go on for days about this lol)(if there was an obvious figure head in the community that could point the fans in good directions I think that would help with the weird dog piling that’s going on rn)

“99% of the Damangela posts are platonic and not romantic anyway so I don’t get why people are bothered by it.“

It doesn’t make much sense to me either. 

The one thing I did see that I could imagine being annoying, is that people trying to look through #Angela Giarratana tag are getting flooded with damangela content. (and obviously the #Damien Hass tag as well) I could TOTALLY see why that could make some people mad! but there’s really not much to do about that.. 

(other than going into settings and filtering out damangela manually)

I feel a little bad that we’ve been flooding their tags, but I can’t really do anything about it? I could start not tagging both of them? but I feel like it makes more sense to just filter your own tags than get me to change how I tag (other people would be tagging them even if I stopped anyway..)

Anyway, I’m sure all this will blow over soon! something about April Fools Marriage and a Solar eclipse is getting everyone all red blooded.

-Much love Mitty! <3

[3rddimension]

I get it! I joined before the pandemic but after they joined mythical. I know people ship them and I always thought the were just friends. I’ve noticed they’re very close but I noticed that with Damien and Shayne too so I didn’t think too much of it. I randomly decided to watch the family guy reunion (don’t usually watch their Smosh content) and I was thinking about how Courtney is always touching Shayne, but once again, I thought nothing of it. I then went on Reddit and saw a comment about Courtney wearing Shayne’s clothes. Then I saw that he was also in England, which made me a bit sus because I remember thinking “who’s she with?” When I saw her posts because I thought it was interesting that she wasn’t posting pictures of friends (like she did in Las Vegas for example) and I somehow missed Shayne’s posts (I do follow him). I feel like lately a lot of posts from Courtney have felt like they’re being taken by a significant other? I kind of got that vibe but I didn’t expect that to be Shayne you know? And like I said, I don’t know why I keep doubting these things because I gave you 3 examples of times when fandoms shipped people and were sure they were dating and I was like “Nah, I don’t think so”. Maybe I should start believing. Brb, buying some clown make up just in case 😂

The super surprised one of Court wearing Shayne clothes is definitely when she wore his super iconic ASU sweatshirt to the office party. It's basically the sweatshirt that he wear *ALL THE TIME* in Smosh videos so yeah it even caught all of us shippers off guard and even casual viewer will definitely be surprised when they see the picture as well. I still can't believe that she done it till this day. lmfao

[tincan-tophat]

-all the Starkid musicals

watched all of them

-Little White Lie

watched it

-The Lord of the Rings musical that they didn't record

heard of, obviously haven’t watched but I saw the gollum’s riddles clip

-Tours/other live shows

haven’t seen any of them live, but I’ve seen recordings of them

-Glee

Obviously heard of, never watched

-Tin Can Brothers

watched most of their stuff besides the wayward guide podcast and a few comedy skits

-Darren Criss' solo music

heard some of it, listened to all of Masquerade and a bit of Human, but haven’t heard Homework or a Very Darren Crissmas

-TalkFine's music that's unrelated to musicals (namely Lesser Known Hits)

I mean I assumed they had some but I’ve never thought to seek it out

-Jim and the Povolos

Heard a few of their songs, holiday club, make party, never gets old, jade

-The Potion Master's Corner/Joe Moses Showses

watched all of the potion master’s corner + a recording of the one they did at leaky con with Joe Walker, I think I’ve watched some of the showses? Sherlock’d, the les mis one, and the taylor swift’s exes but I didn’t understand any of it because I don’t know anything about taylor swift

-just con panels in general (but specifically the one with Sean Astin)

seen the recording of that one and the interview with robert when he won the song contest for avpsy

-Meredith Stepien's comedy skits

I don’t think I’ve heard of them, unless I just didn’t know they were written by Meredith Stepien

-Breredith and Richpez (and other relationships)

Know of them + Curt/Kim and Mary Kate/Sean, plus the early ones people would make up like Jaime/Joey and Joe Walker/Lauren

-Shipwrecked Comedy

heard of them, watched some of their stuff, Poe party, headless + unsolved babesteries, tell tale vlogs, friends till the end, little vvomem, and i haven’t finished greater gatsby yet

-Rim Tim Timmy's Fun Time Hour

watched some of it

-Angela is on Smosh

know that, watched the starkid try not to laugh and i think a couple other vids but I don’t remember

-Devin Lytle used to be on BuzzFeed

know that, haven’t watched any videos with her to my knowledge

-Jon Matteson's twitch channel

I’ve seen the rewatch streams and a few clips of the other ones

-other personal youtube channels of Starkid members

Know of most of them, seen some of them, like Venus please and welcome to hell on Jon’s and my pet brother on Jeff’s. definitely seen more but i don’t remember right now . Tried to learn the stutter choreography with one of James’s videos but gave up. Also seen most of their tiktoks and a compilation of Joey’s old vines

-other appearances of Starkid members on tv (such as Joey Richter in Jessie and the Legend of Korra)

know about it, watched the compilation video, I’ve watched a few of the shows they’ve been in incidentally but I don’t think I’m quite that obsessed yet as to watch an entire tv show just for that reason (OKAY WELL BESIDES ROYALTIES BUT THAT DOESN’T COUNT)

-other web series/projects they've been a part of (such as Muzzled or I Ship It)

Watched of both of those, plus a few others off the top of my head like School of thrones, Professor birthday isn’t famous, most of choose our destiny the team red vines skits

I recently realized that I've retained a lot of obscure knowledge about Team Starkid + friends from when I was obsessed with them a few years ago. And I wonder how much the average Starkid fan knows about team Starkid and other projects some of them have been involved in.

Please respond in the poll below how many of these you know or have at least heard of:

-all the Starkid musicals

-Little White Lie

-The Lord of the Rings musical that they didn't record

-Tours/other live shows

-Glee

-Tin Can Brothers

-Darren Criss' solo music

-TalkFine's music that's unrelated to musicals (namely Lesser Known Hits)

-Jim and the Povolos

-The Potion Master's Corner/Joe Moses Showses

-just con panels in general (but specifically the one with Sean Astin)

-Meredith Stepien's comedy skits

-Breredith and Richpez (and other relationships)

-Shipwrecked Comedy

-Rim Tim Timmy's Fun Time Hour

-Angela is on Smosh

-Devin Lytle used to be on BuzzFeed

-Jon Matteson's twitch channel

-other personal youtube channels of Starkid members

-other appearances of Starkid members on tv (such as Joey Richter in Jessie and the Legend of Korra)

-other web series/projects they've been a part of (such as Muzzled or I Ship It)

[passionate-hedgehog]

Sweatshirt

Summary: Y/n gained more than an office when she was promoted to a main writer for Mythical Entertainment.But while she’s celebrating the new aspects of her job, her boyfriend seems to be crumbling. 

Pairing: Damien Haas x Reader

Word count: 4584

Warnings: None

A/N: When I wrote this, I was really just wanting to write a story about how a hoodie exposed a Damien x Reader relationship and then I added some angst because...entertainment, ya know? But at the time I’m posting this fic, I’ve had gone through almost losing my job because of state health mandates due to COVID. I found out that my restaurant thoroughly respects my work ethic and my schedule will remained unchanged. But working an entire shift unsure if I’ll be returning...or if I’ll see any of my coworkers that I’ve come to know as family ever again? I was able to relate to this a lot more than I thought I would. I’m not downplaying anyone that goes through uncertain things, especially during 2020. But I hope it can help a little bit. 

Y/n’s morning had been one for the books. She ran into her boyfriend’s former boss, Ian Hecox, at her favorite coffee shop while wearing a hoodie she DEFINITELY wasn’t meant to be sporting. The item had been a part of an unreleased merch line for SMOSH. They had been planning on announcing it the week after Defy, SMOSH’s parent company, had unfortunately shut down. Select cast and crew had been gifted with the limited stock, and Y/n had discovered it in her boyfriend’s closet just minutes before she ran out the door to get to the coffee shop.

Ian, a man she had yet to be introduced to before that morning, had been polite but concerned about how she had the item in the first place. She wanted to give the simple answer that her boyfriend of four months, Damien Haas, didn’t know she took it from his closet that morning. But Damien being in a relationship hadn’t been general knowledge to many people yet, and she didn’t want to put him in that position. He had been trying to work past his SMOSH days and focusing on future endeavors. She didn’t want to reconnect dots that he had worked so hard to disconnect.  After reassuring the man that she did not, in fact, legitimately steal it and that the owner never wore it out in public, she apologized for wearing it and promised to remove it once she got to her destination.

When Y/n made it to work, she was greeted with the two head-writing team members sporting nearly creepy smiles aimed at her. She narrowed her eyes at them and immediately grew suspicious. The writers, Nick and Ellie, pulled her down the hallway towards the various offices and stopped in front of a single closed door. Ellie stood off to the side of the door but grasped at the handle.

“Congrats on your promotion!” She winked and pushed the door open, letting Y/n look thoroughly into the room.

“Is this...do I have my own… what?!” Y/n looked between Ellie and the room. “What??”

“Rhett and Link, and the rest of us, agreed that since you’ve been promoted to a main writer position AND you’ve been handling a lot of other projects that go beyond your job description, you should have the space fitting for it. They have a new investment that you’ll be working with.” Ellie moved to stand by her fellow head writer, Nick. 

“Trust us. You’ll need this space. You’re about to have your hands full.” Was all Nick supplied, as cryptic as it was. “There’s a meeting in 20 minutes. You won’t have to worry about being late now that you’re so close to the main offices. See you in a few!”

The duo walked away and left Y/n to take in what happened entirely. 

“My own office?” She wondered as she finally took her first steps into her own space. There was a desk, a chair, the same kind of  desktop that is used in the other offices, and room for her personal touch. She had dreamt of her own office, and she finally had it. Y/n took out her phone and noted she had enough time to grab her meeting materials from her bag, and decided to make it to the meeting early.

-------------------------

The meeting had left the writer confused. Mythical had purchased SMOSH, her boyfriend’s former employer. It was a happy thing. She knew it was a happy thing. Damien had walked her down memory lane when Defy had shut down, and he found himself at home more than he wanted to be. It had been therapeutic for him. But he eventually decided to leave those memories there in the past. And now she was hit with the dilemma of whether or not she should tell him. Would she even be allowed to tell him?

“Hey, Babe!” Damien’s voice called from the doorway. 

Y/n looked up from her desktop, all inner turmoil disappearing when she saw her boyfriend’s smiling face. “Hey! How’d you find me?”

“Nick walked me down here.” The brunette let himself into the office and sat in the chair across from his girlfriend. “This is so cool. You didn’t tell me you were getting an office. We could have gone to Target and grabbed some cute things.”

“It was a surprise. I didn’t know about it until I got here this morning. Oh! Speaking of!” The woman grabbed her bag and shot an apologetic look. “I might have made a bad decision that I definitely need to apologize for.”

Damien cocked his head in confusion, similar to that of a puppy.

Y/n pulled out the black and blue hoodie from her bag and passed it over to her boyfriend. “I took this on my way out. I was in a hurry and didn’t quite look to see what it was I had put on. Eventually, I realized what I was wearing in public, and I put it in my bag. I’m sorry, Babe.”

Damien’s eyes met the fabric, and he shrugged. “Eh, it’s fine. You can just keep it, actually. I already have so many hoodies and shirts from...you can just have itz. I bet it looks better on you anyway. I don’t need it.”

Y/n copied Damien’s confused look from earlier. “Dames, this is your hoodie. YOUR hoodie. You designed this, and it’s your only copy of it. I can’t take it, Babe. How about I throw it in the wash when we get home, and I’ll just put it back where I got it from?”

Damien shook his head. “No, that’s okay. Just...consider it a gift, I guess. I don’t need it. Take it.”

“Dames-.” Y/n began.

“I think I’ll meet you in the car. I have some calls to make for a few auditions. Take your time, Y/n.” Damien got up from his seat, immediately breaking eye-contact with his girlfriend. 

After the voice-over actor left the office, Y/n let out a sigh and leaned as far back in her chair as she could, her head dangling off the headrest. She debated with herself for a few moments on whether they should talk out what was definitely him pushing unresolved feelings into a box. She decided that there was enough excitement for that day, proceeded to pack her things, and made her way to her boyfriend’s car.

--------------------

A few weeks later, Y/n found herself in a private meeting with her bosses Rhett and Link. After the news that Mythical had purchased SMOSH, Y/n had found out that she would work as a main writer for Mythical and that she would also help out with minimal production work at SMOSH while they built their team back up. The SMOSH gig wouldn’t be long-term, but it was definitely something different than what she knew. The writer had assisted with some production work on GMM during her career, so the production aspect itself wasn’t unfamiliar to her. Working for two different channels? That would be tricky. 

It was not as tricky as treading the waters with Damien once he finally found out that SMOSH was coming back to life, which would be difficult since Y/n would be the liaison between SMOSH and Mythical for the foreseeable future. She would be working with Ian, going to board meetings, working in the SMOSH half of the building, and helping create a staff for SMOSH. Y/n was always up for a challenge, a chance to expand her horizons in her career. She just hoped that it wouldn’t damage the relationship she worked hard to build with her partner. 

“Tomorrow is your meeting with Ian. We’ll give you the black card to charge the lunch to. He didn’t have an exact number of how many people would be showing up, but it should be fine.” Rhett handed the credit card to her. “The cafe you picked didn’t seem too pricey, so we’re not worried. Just make sure not to lose the card.”

Link leaned forward in the chair he was occupying, folding his arms on to the desk in front of him. “Have you been in contact with him yet? Introduce yourself and all of that?”  

“Uh…” Y/n glossed over the fact that she had, in fact, already met Ian in person almost a month ago on accident. “Yeah...We already discussed a little bit about tomorrow. Going over what he’ll be telling his team and things of that sort. He mentioned that he had been keeping it under wraps from them. But I’m ready for it. I can’t imagine that happening to Mythical. I’d be devastated. I’m very thankful that you guys run your own ship.”

Rhett gave a shrug and a short “Eh, we try.” that caused Link to give a quick laugh. 

--------------------

The morning of the meeting with Ian felt...off... to Y/n. When she woke up, Damien had already vacated the bed. She thought that maybe he had decided to go to the meeting that he had no idea she would be at. Perhaps she could subtly slip it in that she’d be there and they could take the same car. It took her a few minutes of searching the apartment to realize that her partner wasn’t even home. She didn’t know where he was. She only hoped that he would be at the cafe later. Y/n shook it off and began to get ready. Today was going to be nerve-wracking enough without him there.

Y/n made it to the cafe ten minutes before the determined meeting time. She found Ian easily and approached him with her head held high and an incredibly pleasant smile plastered to her face.

“Ian?” She asked as she approached his chair. He turned to her and watched the lightbulb go off in his head. “I’m Y/f/n Y/l/n from Mythical! And now, SMOSH...kinda.”

He stood up and shook her hand. “Hey. Nice to officially meet you! Although, I believe we’ve met before…”

Y/n winced and nodded, taking a seat across from him. There were a handful of empty chairs scattered around the table. She didn’t count them but was glad that the lunch meeting had already been approved by her bosses to be charged on the black card.

“Before we get started,” Ian began. “I just want to clarify that I haven’t told anyone what this meeting is about, and I’m still not all too sure who will be making it. A lot of things have been up in the air for so long, I’ve had to learn to just go with the flow.”

“Honestly, same.” Y/n replied as the waitress approached them.

A couple of people approached the table and greeted Ian and took seats by him while Y/n chatted with her usual waitress. The newcomers and Ian gave their drink orders before the server walked away.

“Shayne, Court, I’d like to introduce you to Y/n of Mythical Entertainment. Y/n/, Shayne and Courtney are two of SMOSH’s actors. They were hired in 2016.” Ian introduced.

“It’s really nice to meet you two! I spent the last month watching a lot of SMOSH, and you guys crack me UP! It’s almost impossible for me not to laugh at a video with either of you in it. Or any video, to be honest. Except for the Dominos mukbang. I got a little uncomfortable at the end of that one.” Y/n winced at the end of her introduction.

The three conversed as more people showed up, Keith showing up with Noah and Olivia. Matt Raub could be heard arguing good-naturedly with Sarah Whittle down the sidewalk as they approached. Lastly, Lasercorn and Mari appeared separately but arriving at about the same time. All of the chairs around the table were full except for the one to Y/n’s left. She glanced at it longlingly before giving her full attention to Ian.

“So! Should we order and then talk about why we’re here while we wait for the food?” Y/n suggested.

Ian nodded in agreement, and Y/n made eye contact with their server, pulling her over to the group. Everyone gave their order to the waitress before Y/n gave her own and then proceeded to give the order for Damien, in hopes that he would show up in the end.

“But you can put that last one on our personal tab. I might just end up taking it home. Thanks, Clementine.” Y/n called as the waitress walked away.

Y/n was about to officially start the meeting when her phone went off loudly. She pulled it out of her pocket to send it to voicemail when she saw that it was Damien’s name. “I’m so sorry. I actually need to take this really quickly. Continue your conversations.”

Y/n rose from her seat and walked off a few paces. She answered her call, hoping it would be her boyfriend telling her that he had a meeting he would be late for (the one she was at) and that he wouldn’t be able to pick up lunch that day. What it ended up being, though, was Y/n trying to subtly convince Damien to go to the meeting she knew he had (the same one she was at, but he still didn’t know that part) and failing miserably. 

“You know where I am with that, Y/n. I don’t know why you’re pushing it. It was a good few years, but it’s done! I need to figure out what’s next for me. Dwelling on the past isn’t going to fix it.”

Y/n took a deep breath. “Have you even talked to anyone about this meeting? Do you even know what it’s about? Maybe something amazing and wonderful will come out of it!! You won’t know unless you try! And I know you’re building on your VO work, but SMOSH is already here and waiting for you. LITERALLY. WAITING.”

Damien grew quiet on the other end of the line, and Y/n realized she said the wrong thing. “What are you talking about. Y/n? What do you mean by ‘literally waiting’? How would you know anything about SMOSH’s meeting?”

“I just..I don’t...Damien. Please. Coming to this meeting could be what you need, right now.”

“You said coming instead of going. Why would you use ‘coming’ instead of ‘going’?”

“Oh my GOD, can you please stop analyzing what I’m saying for five fucking minutes and just listen to the point I’m trying to make here?!” Y/n noticed she was yelling and apologized before talking quieter and calmer. “Please, I’m begging you. Come to this meeting. They need you here. They’re your family.”

“Family wouldn’t keep info, like this meeting, a secret. Right?”

That caused Y/n to pause. “They...they didn’t tell you about the meeting?”

“They definitely told me. You didn’t, though.”

Y/n realized that she was losing grip with the conversation. “No, wait-Damien, I didn’t-”  

“I’ll talk to you later, Y/n. Or not. Who knows, am I right?” Damien ended the call with a beep audible from Y/n’s end.

After taking a few deep breaths and clearing her eyes from any of the tears built up from frustration and legitimate sadness, she collected herself and returned to the table. When she sat down, she noticed all eyes were on her.

“What did Damien have to say?” Ian asked with a sad smile that told her he already knew the answer.

“He uh...he can’t make it. Something came up.” Y/n cleared her throat and took a sip of her diet coke. “Any chance we can just completely ignore what just happened?”

“How do you know, Damien?” The question came from someone on her left. 

“I guess not,” She took a bigger sip of her drink. “Damien and I...have been seeing each other. For a few months now.”

The surprised reactions that spread around the whole table proved to Y/n that her boyfriend really didn’t tell anyone about their relationship, including Shayne, whom he called his best friend. Y/n couldn’t imagine not telling someone that important about a relationship that’s lasted as long as it had. But after what went down over the phone, the breaking of trust and the arguing, she thought maybe there was good reason for it. In an attempt to not dwell on what happened, Y/n called on Ian to continue the meeting.

--------------------

Instead of going to her own apartment after the meeting with SMOSH, Y/n decided to take Damien his food in hopes of a peace offering and have a chance to talk everything out. She pulled into the visitor parking of the apartments and took a second to collect herself. She knew her partner was hurting. The signs of his anxiety and personal, private compulsions were showing through when he thought she couldn’t see. She knew he was struggling, but all she wanted to do was fix it. But how? Would he even let her into the apartment?

She knocked on his door and waited for an answer. She knocked again a few minutes later, before taking out her key. Naturally, she’d respect his want for space, but at that moment, she didn’t have it in her. She made her way into the apartment and eventually found him laid out against his headboard, playing his Switch on his bed. He didn’t look up when she walked in or when she sat on the bed.

“I uh...I brought you your order from the cafe. Do you want it now, or should I put it in the fridge?” She asked gently from her spot at his feet.

He clicked the lock button and put the handheld device down. Looking at the bag in his girlfriend’s hands, he gestured for her to hand it to him. She leaned over to give it to him, and he put the paper bag next to his Switch. Without speaking, he nodded his head towards the door, and Y/n picked up his hint.

“Right. You probably don’t want me here right now...uh..”She scratched at her neck, disappointed in herself for thinking that he’d want anything to do with her at the moment. “I’ll just...I gotta grab some of my things from the bathroom first. I want to make sure I give you all the space you need.”

Y/n made to get off the bed when Damien cleared his throat. “No, Y/n. I was stretching my neck. You don’t have to leave.”

The writer turned to face him, pushing what she hoped was a convincing smile on her face. “It’s ok! Really! You deserve some space after what happened. I completely lied to you about today, and that’s gotta feel like trash. I can let you eat in peace for once.”

“Please don’t.” He met her eyes, and she saw sadness there. “I can wait to eat. I just...I really want you to stay. Please?”

She nodded and pulled herself up the bed to lean against the headboard next to him. “Do you want to talk about it? I understand if you don’t. And it’s completely reasonable not to want to tell me about it at all. I am sorry, Dames. I didn’t know how to tell you, so I thought maybe it would go smoothly if you just saw me at the meeting. I figured it’d be easier handling the topic of ‘us,’ too. Which...was weird to do with or without you.”

“Yeah. Shayne had questions for me. But I’m not upset that you told them. I can’t imagine the pressure that put you under. It couldn’t have been easy trying to get around it in the first place.” Damien kissed the top of her head. 

Y/n looked him in the eyes and gave a sad smile. “I’m worried about you. You tell me you’re okay and that you’re moving on, but...to me, it doesn’t look like it. To someone on the outside, maybe. But I’ve been with you since before Defy shut down. You haven’t processed it or grieved it. You barely talk to your best friend. It shows a lot that you hadn’t told him about me. Like...yeah, you’re a private person. But you don’t usually hide things from Shayne.”

The actor nodded along with her words. “Yeah, I...I don’t know how to...like I just…”

Y/n noticed he was struggling and held his hand, quietly waiting for him to continue.

“Defy shutting down and SMOSH limiting everything it was doing was hard. When we were as happy as we could get working for Defy, I never thought about ‘what’s after this?’ I didn’t think I’d have to worry about it. It all seemed to be going so well...So when it came, the loss of it all...that’s what happened. All of it was lost. Everything I did, all of the moments, the time...It felt like two years of my pure energy that I was never going to get back. I put everything I am into my life at SMOSH, and it felt like it didn’t matter in the end. So, I moved forward as fast and as hard as I could to outrun the pain I knew was coming. Unfortunately… the running didn’t work, and the pain still came. And I feel like I lost connections with people most important to me along the way.”

“No, Damien… you didn’t lose those connections. Trust me. They miss you. They need you in their lives. Whether it’s through SMOSH or just inviting them over for pizza and video games. Baby, they still love you. I promise.” Y/n sat up straighter and pulled her legs underneath her, letting both knew caps lay against Damien’s outstretched legs. “I can’t give any advice towards the running away from what happened because we both know I’m a little escape artist when conflict arises. But I think this conversation right here is a great way to begin to work through it. But I think it would work better if you talked it through with your best friend that went through the same thing.”

Damien pulled her against him and wrapped his arms around her. “Hmm...maybe. And you’re not that much of an escape artist anymore. You forced your way into my apartment and invited yourself on to my bed. We could have had a huge fight, but you went through with it anyway.”

Y/n looked up at him with her head still on his chest. “Because I love you. And I don’t want you to be sad anymore…”

Damien leaned down and kissed her, gently slipping his hands under her shirt before he pulled away. “You are more than I’ll ever deserve. Thank you for making sure I work out the things that bother me and affect me.”

“I’ll say it again.” She accentuated each of her following words with a poke to his torso. “I. Love. You. Dumb dumb.”

He grabbed her hand and guided her, so she was straddling his lap. “That hoodie you took from me last month, I didn’t get to see you in it. Can I get a peak?”

“Uh...sure? Are you sure, though? You seemed pretty passionate about not ever seeing it again.” Y/n rested her hands at his sides, softly running her thumbs over his shirt as if to comfort him.

“I think...I just didn’t want to think about my last few good memories with the company and everything. But I don’t want to run from it anymore.”

Y/n’s smile lit up her whole face. “Yeah? Then yeah, I can go put it on.”

“But could I convince you to wear it with nothing else on?”

[plutoisaplanet16]

21 Reasons to Love Someone

(Damien Haas x reader)

#1. Their Smile 

Word count: 1,644

Warnings: none (SFW)

Buy me a coffee

Two words: Defy Media.

     At first excitement coursed Damien’s being as he thought about the prospect of having a job where he could sit around and play games all day. However, it did not take him long to feel the same way everybody else in the office did. You knew the pressure took a toll on him when the first thing he did after work was sleep. Damien’s personality shined through on camera, but being the entertaining ball of sunshine for so many videos each day overwhelmed him. When he came home he would say a mindless “hello y/n” and perhaps jokingly say “hello my baby geese” to Freyja and Zelda, but after that he would close the door to the bedroom and plop down on the bed. Sometimes he wouldn’t even bother to take his shoes off. Usually you would just leave him alone for a couple hours until you finished making dinner or the postmate had arrived.

“How was work?” you would ask as you handed him his meal.

He would always tell you, “It was good, but I won’t go into detail. Too much happened today; I’ll probably miss something if I try to tell you.”

     Damien would always laugh it off and pretend like it was nothing, but you knew better than to buy into his nightly act. After nearly a year and half of dating, you knew what Damien did when something bothered him. Comedy was his coping mechanism, but after the bright laughter ceased, his face fell into a blank expression: the sparkle in his eyes dulled, his normally rosy complexion seemingly drained in an instant, and lastly, silence filled the room. It was quite frankly the most bizarre phenomenon to behold. All you wanted to do was grab his soft face and kiss his forehead to try and convince him that everything would work out, but this wasn’t a fanfiction or a cheesy romantic comedy. People are more complicated than that.

     So that’s how you ended up awake at 3:17 a.m. scouring the internet for Harry Potter house robe cat costumes. Your dry eyes and blurry vision did not deter you from finding that one Esty shop that would grant you wish. Was each costume going to be $45 plus shipping? Yes. But did that stop you? No. This was a mission of love, and for Damien, you would go any distance to see that adorable goober genuinely smile.You were just about to place the order when Damien’s arm pulled you closer into his chest as he looked over your shoulder. Without thinking, you stupidly threw your phone across the room. Luckily it landed in a soft, plushy chair in the corner of the room. 

“Y/n, what was that about?” Damien shook his head. 

You struggled to find an answer, “Um...uh...”

“Do I even want to know?” he chuckled, “As long as it’s not Tinder I don’t care enough to lose any more sleep.”

“I would never cheat on you!” you exclaimed.

He sleepily mumbled, “I know. I’m too sexy.”

     You laughed to yourself as you left the bed to go retrieve your hopefully-not-cracked-phone. You quickly placed the order and crawled back into bed. It was rare that Damien ever complimented himself like that. It reminded you of the Damien you knew before Defy... the Damien who ruffled his hair and smoldered at the camera for a selfie. It was so nice to hear Damien still have his moments of confidence. It gave you hope that your plan would actually work.

5:15 pm. It was almost time.

     You had just finished making dinner, and you rushed to set the table neatly. To be honest, what you made shouldn’t even really be considered dinner because it was more or less a buffet of different movie food such as: M&Ms, twizzlers, chips and homemade dip, tiny sandwiches, and of course popcorn. You arranged them into a deliciously looking spread in the finest plastic bowls the dollar store had to offer. (Neither one of you would really want to do dishes anyway.) Once it looked perfect you turned towards the living room to hunt down Freyja and Zelda. You had the costumes neatly folded on the top of the  grey, cloth couch. Luckily Freyja was napping on the cushion below them; you petted her gently and unfolded her Ravenclaw house robes. She yawned and stretched right as you were about to wake her. Her eyes fluttered open, and she sniffed the robe. Freyja backed away and her big, glossy eyes moved back and forth between you and the costume.

“It’s for Daddy, okay? Work with me here, please Freyja.”

     She meowed back like she understood, and from then on she was compliant. Next, you had to hunt down Zelda. It honestly amazed you how well that chonky cat could hide. You called out her name for what felt like forever until you yelled that Damien would be home soon. A small meow came from underneath the couch.

“Just what am I to you guys?”

Zelda came out and before she even knew what was happening, you squeezed her into her Hufflepuff robes, “Finally.” 

      Everything was almost perfect; the last thing you had to do was put on your own house robes and get all eight Harry Potter movies out of storage. Sure you would never be able to finish them all in one night, but both of you would give it a valiant attempt. Digging the movies out of the bin would prove to be a challenge because both of you were giant nerds that for some reason decided to just throw all your nerdiness into several boxes and NOT label them. In the fourth of six boxes is where you found the first three movies, and the rest were at the bottom of the fifth box. You decided that after all this was over you and Damien were sure to be doing some serious decluttering for the next week or so. Meanwhile, you had to go light some spooky looking candles, somehow avoid going ahead and digging into the scrumptious food, and put the first DVD in the console. 

     As the first movie finally loaded, Damien unlocked the door and walked in, “It smells like a theatre in here. What happ-”

     He stopped dead in his tracks when saw you with the Sorting Hat on your head and your Harry Potter robes. His face was full of wonder and confusion as he took a couple seconds to slowly look around and examine his surroundings. He giggled at the spooky yet romantic lighting as well as Hedwig’s Theme rattling the walls of the apartment. You hoped you two wouldn’t get noise complaints...again. Damien walked closer towards you, but soon Freyja and Zelda ambushed him by rubbing themselves up against his legs.

He looked down in disbelief, “Freyja...Zelda? Y/n?”

“I’m glad you know all our names,” you teased.

“What is all this? Their costumes? The candles? The food? Harry Potter?” he sat down on the floor next to you.

“Listen Damien, I know something has been up with you these past couple of weeks. I know you love Smosh and your job, and it doesn’t make sense to me why you would be hiding how you really feel from me,” you said.

“Y/n,” he sighed, “It’s complicated, okay? Half the time I don’t even know what’s going through my head when it comes to talking about my day. You are right. I love my job, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. However, I’m having a tough time right now. There are a lot of videos we film in one day, and for someone like me it can easily become too much. The biggest issue is our parent company itself never listening to us; it is so frustrating. I don’t like spreading that kind of negativity so I shove it away, but it seems it has still affected you. It’s hard for me to talk about, and honestly, I just want to figure it out on my own. I don't want to bring you down with me.”

You were kind of hurt that he didn’t feel comfortable telling you everything but you had to respect him, “It’s okay Damien. I won’t push you, but please let me in on some things. I hate sitting here watching you be miserable not being able do a single thing about it. I want to help you, and that’s why I did all this. Sometimes you walk in here, and it’s like I don’t even know who I am looking at. I believe you will find your footing at Smosh, and everyone will soon adore you. I know it didn’t take me long to fall in love with you.”

Damien blushed, “Oh really?”

     He smiled. He actually smiled. It was a complete 100% authentic goofy Damien smile that spread from ear to ear. He felt happiness deep down inside because of you, and that is all you could ever ask for. Being the ooey-gooey romantic person you are, you threw yourself onto him and gave him a big kiss on the forehead. No, that kiss wouldn’t really fix much, but it made both of your hearts melt. When you pulled away you looked at his face again; he was still smiling, but it wasn’t the same as it was a moment ago. Instead of bright and bubbly, it was a small adoring grin. His eyes bore into yours, and it was like everything else around you two disappeared. 

“Y/n?” he asked.

You answered, “Yes?”

He pulled you into his chest and tightly wrapped his arms around you. His soft heartbeat became like white nose to you, “How come you fell in love with me so fast?”

You pulled away from him and kissed his lips, “How could I not with that smile of yours?”

---------------

Hello! This is my first Smosh fanfiction I have ever wrote. I’m not new to the fanfiction writing world. I’ve had two wattpad accounts and even wrote on a BTS fan app for a while. I dropped this hobby of mine to focus on my senior year of high school. Recently though I have come back to writing due to being stuck in the house and my school year being pretty much over. I decided to start this prompt series because I was bored and itching to write something again. I hope you all have enjoyed this short imagine. It is part one of a twenty-one part prompt list that I have made up myself.

This specific list will, for now, only include past and present Smosh members, but if you would like to see any of these prompts for other fictional characters or  real people please let me know in my inbox! I have no requests, and I would certainly love some. Thank you all for reading this! 

[monstredelivre]

Hear me out smosh fandom

These are some Smosh Summer/Winter Games ideas I’ve been wanting them to do for a while or they’re some that I’ve just come up with and thought might be interesting. Some of them may be better or more plausible than others but these are just themes I think could possibly work if they ever ran out. I’ll keep updating this if I come up with any more ideas. Titles in different colors will indicate that there was an update on the post.

Smosh Summer/Winter Games: Hero House the live action adaptation/remake of Maricraft: Hero House (title susceptible to change). Team of superheroes lead by Mari vs a team of super villains led by Lasercorn. The team names could be on capes that they get in the first video and on shirts (similar to SWG Again w/ the hoodies). Netflix and Kryptonite (again, title susceptible to change) where all of the movies are superhero movies, animated movies included.

Smosh Summer/Winter Games: Pirates. Two warring pirate crews and the teams would be selected “randomly” and by that I mean no captains. One game could be a team has to defend their treasure while the other team tries to steal it and bring it back to their ship (basically capture the football but teams take turns getting the treasure instead of both at the same time). Shortest amount of time wins.

Smosh Summer/Winter Games: Medieval Times. The cast is split into two warring kingdoms. Team captains are optional seeing as they can be the king or queen of their kingdom (team) but are not necessary. One of the games can be actual medieval jousting (proceed with caution) and or a life sized game of chess. A life sized game of chess could work if there were captains because the captains would be controlling everyone else who would act as the chess pieces. If there are no captains then the teams would just select someone to control the moves.

Smosh Summer/Winter Games: Back to the Future (idk about the title because you know, copyright). Everything is futuristic themed but not on like the alien side of things. More like technological advancements so the team names could be printed onto lab coats or something along the lines. One of the games could be similar to Dead Light Green Light where one team acts as cyborgs trying to hunt down the other team which would be acting as the humans. It can be more along the lines of manhunt/hide and seek with a limited amount of time to find the humans. Winning team depends on the shortest amount of time to find everyone, or if not everyone is found, how many players are left at the end of a set amount of time.

Smosh Summer/Winter Games: Freak Show. I put freak show instead of circus because I feel like circus might feel almost too childlike because this should be something the cast enjoys too. Freak show also has a creepier, scarier element to it that I think would be a really cool thing to play with. Keeping with the now tradition of punishment themed games, they could add to the list and do Punishment Throwing Knives (or darts if that’s too risky in terms of safety. They are using crossbows this year though and they’re all adults). They’d have to pop balloons just like in the archery and shooting episodes.

Smosh Summer/Winter Games: All Around the World. This could be a little controversial depending on what’s actually done but I think this could be really interesting and turn out to be really enlightening and educational. Basically paying tribute to the different cultures around the world. Something the tv show Survivor does on some seasons is a food eating contest where they eat the local delicacies of the country they’re filming in and Smosh could do something really similar to this. Pick a country and eat the delicacies or even just the most common foods found there. Another thing they could do is play a sport that’s really popular in another country and not really American. For example they could play croquet as a tribute to England or rugby because it’s super popular in Australia. I feel like there are a lot of cool things they could with this without people getting hurt if their culture is misrepresented.

Smosh Summer/Winter Games: Olympics. I saw somewhere that the 2018 Winter Games were supposed to be Olympic themed in honor of the Winter Olympics and honestly I wouldn’t mind if they did it for the 2020 Summer Olympics. I also wouldn’t mind waiting for 2022 (if they’re still doing these by then) to see what they would’ve done for 2018. It could be a nice homage to the Olympics if instead of giving trophies for the individual awards, they give out medals instead. MVP and Most Epic Moment can be gold while LVP and maybe Bigfest Fail could be bronze. Although I do see Biggest Fail potentially being silver just to get all three of them in there. Plus the image of the Smosh cast being on ice skates makes me laugh.

[siren-queen-imagines]

Hi can you ship me w/ smosh & 13 Reasons Why please. I am loyal and love my friends. I am confident/energetic and my favorite thing to do is make people laugh. I am not good with feelings and I have super bad anxiety (that I try not to show often). And I put my friends before myself even if I shouldn't. I to read/write and draw. And I am a hopeless romantic.

Hey sorry about the late reply!

Smosh:

Romance: Noah. Noah himself is a hopeless romantic whether he likes to admit it or not. He can appreciate someone who is like him. He’d be patient with you when it comes to talking about your feelings and support you when your anxiety spikes up. He loves how much you can make him laugh and appreciates your confidence.

Best friend: Courtney. Court loves that she has found someone who can match her energy and you two can make each other laugh like crazy when you’re together.

Rival: Shayne. This is more of a playful rivalry especially when it comes to try not to laugh. You two always have bets between each other who can make the most people laugh. You two bring out the best in your level of comedy despite the friendly competition.

————————————————————

13 Reasons Why:

Romance: Zach. Zach’s always admired your confidence. It’s one of the things that drew him to you. He loves how even when he’s having a hard time you can always make it better whether you try to make him laugh or with a simple romantic gesture. He’s the type of guy where your loyalty will not be taken advantage of. He knows you’re not good with feelings but he can wait until you’re ready to talk or have some other way to express how you feel.

Best friend: Clay. This may seem strange but hear me out. You are an opposite to Clay’s personality when it comes to confidence and energy. He’s quiet and can be insecure. He tends to keep to himself but when you’re around, you tend to make him want to come out of his shell a little more. You both share a loyalty where sometimes you do more for your friends than you should especially when it came to covering up Tyler’s near shooting and the cover up of Alex’s crime. But those were your friends and you wanted to help them...even though it meant Monty took the fall for Alex.

Rival: Monty. What’s there to say about Montgomery de la Cruz? First off, you never liked the way he treated your friends. You didn’t like the way he treated your boyfriend. On top of that, you became someone he didn’t like when he saw changes in Zach that included his decision to stop having Bryce’s back and even his. He blamed you for that because if you weren’t around, where would Zach get these ideas that his “friendships” took a back seat?

[elboyo-blog]

About Youtube Rewind

Right so… youtube rewind 2017 is out. Everyone’s favourite end of year tradition, showcasing all the trends people were talking about, and all the topics and creators on the site that cultivated the community around to make youtube stand ou…

I should stop. This is all bullshit as I am aware you all know, yourtube rewind is, was and always will be throwaway ‘look at us we’re unique!’ shite, but this years was especially aggravating. It really boiled down a reality that has been creeping up on us for a while. Youtube rewind 2017 just shows that youtube doesn’t want to be youtube. Of course that could be seen that last year, for example the whole Dwayne Johnson at the start but I believe that can be justified with the fact that Dwayne has a channel just for himself, what isn’t justifiable from last year at least is the fucking talk show hosts like trevor noah and Seth ‘cumstain’ myers.  This only gets worse and worse with this years entry however. But I’m getting ahead of myself, lets just break it down (tl;dr at the bottom)

overview (This will be the most chronological so watching along helps)

Right so off the fucking bat the vid starts with a Stephen Colbert(Not a youtuber) talking to Lele Pons (A viner and Instagram star who flocked to youtube where that ship sank) and some girl beside (I think she’s popular but I don’t know her), we then see some random girl run into the room and start the cue to ‘Despacito’ which I can see why it is there at least, as it sprung to the highest viewed it can have justification. It then cuts to some people dancing and switching shots locations and people (one of which is that one DJ marshmallow or whatever who, again, isn’t a youtuber). It stops at KSI (Who I’ll get too) using a fidget spinner (which ill also get too) with some some vloggers/IG stars beside him (probably). Oh, hey Rhett and Link.  We then get showcased to a slime playground of sorts. I have no fucking clue if this was a trend at all. The only thing I can link this too is all the ‘homemade slime’ tutorials I always hear about. The only thing I really got was ‘Wow! Muselk is thicc’ but other than that the whole thing I think was pointless. Then, for some reason, they put rinestones on their faces? Again, was this a trend? Like, was there a whole underground rinestone craze that slipped under people’s noses? Like most things though, I doubt if it was a trend it even started on youtube. Anyway, they do the dua lipa thing, go to Africa, uuuuuuuugehiehehiihesfiefbfrbeube, do dance crazes during said ‘uuuuuuuugehiehehiihesfiefbfrbeube’ that didn’t originate on youtube and HEY! The eclipse was a thing right? EventhoughthatprimarilyhappenedintheUSthereforealienatinganyrelatabilitythatyoutubewasgoingfor buuuuuut I digress. They do do one thing right which is the whole meme graveyard idea (fitting, I know) parodying the video for the worst tayloer swift yet (nothing beats love story fight me) oooooooh but then the DAB! They hit that DAB!  Into yet another ‘uuuuuuuugehiehehiihesfiefbfrbeube’. Oh cool poopy’s there. Don’t know who that other person is but maybe it’s a new character in the poppy lore or maybe its just a person I don’t know or maybe recognise. The whole hurricane Harvey thing they pull next is insulting to the point ill reserve a whole section to it. Skipping that we go to a roof party with the DJ and the fidget spinner, a perfect almagimation of all that isn’t youtube based trends, seriously the dj could maybe be related as he uses youtube as an outlet for his music but fidget spinners were a physical thing! It was a brand! Literally this year’s version of silly bandz! Yes Susan, include this! Very youtube, much wow! Fuck off. Anyway, we see the party is home to the biggest twats of youtube, team 10 and the pauly boys (Note: that’s a nice band name). with them on the roof are stars that again, didn’t start on youtube. Most of them are viners and/or IG stars with like one or two from fine bros React (I shit you not if you look in the back there’s the old guy from elder’s react). We cut to more slime bois (hey Tomska). When they cut back, (yes holy shit it is the guy form elders react! Jfc) and they do their sick moves like the floss, a move YouTube claims to have homebrewed as well (come on guys, Katy Perry tried to claim it first). Hey, look its every 14y/o girls wet dream. More slime boyos. I think KEEM screams the floor is lava but… that trend was an IG trend wasn’t it or like the last vine trend, but it got Ol’ Yellered, like, just because Fine Bros do a youtubers react to it doesn’t make it a YouTube thing! Jeez louis. Big Shaq’s there, that’s neat. Some filler dancing and cuts when they cut back to the graveyard reinforcing that is it a graveyard for dead memes which I have problem with, because that would insinuate that ‘All Star’ died this year. No, it didn’t, and as long as Steve Harwell is still on God’s green earth no it won’t, yes its popularity has dulled but it was actually a meme that just faded away, cropping up every once in a while, its survival is different to similar trends like ‘We Are Number One’ which can make people I know physically wince when heard. All star didn’t die, it’ll be back if it even left in the first place. More vloggers and traditionally attractive people flash by as a whole recap happen of the torment thrusted upon me. The last live action sketch is Lele and her friend greet the non-youtuber rounding out the production. The credits are actually the best part of this however as we see different pseudo-animators (think more odd1s out, less Psychicpebbles), such as Extra Credits, Tabbes, Jaidenanimation, Odd1sout, Rebecca Parham, ItsAlexClark and Simon’s cat. Though their subject matter is just as pander-y shite as the whole vid you can see the effort in their animation and it’s nice to see that youtube finally removed the dildo it has been shoving up most youtube animator’s asses for the last 3-5 years (but by ‘removed’ I really mean they just slapped a sign on it that says ‘here at YouTube, we love our animators!’ and pretend they solved the problem.

Dead fucking memes/(hate to use the phrase but) irrelevancy

The Dab, fidget spinners, shooting stars with more probably but it was hard to see during my stroke, point is, YouTube is out of touch and has zero self-awareness when it comes to memes and trends

I know the word sounds pretentious as hell but seriously, here’s a my honest-to-god reaction of who I saw on screen

·         Not a youtuber

·         Not a youtuber

·         Don’t know

·         Don’t know

·         Despactio guy 1

·         Don’t know *3

·         Despacito guy 2: electric boogaloo

·         Don’t know *2

·         Don’t know *2

·         Don’t know *2

·         Dj boi

·         Vannos

·         Don’t Know *4 Ft. Lincoln

·         Don’t know *3

·         Quick flashes of the great unknown

·         KSI and his favourite toy (not counting NetNobody’s dick)

·         Don’t know *6 (Empire was better)

·         Another 3 I don’t know but there is that one guy who screams a lot, think his names guacamole or something

·         @rhettandlink and another guy, classic trio

·         Don’t know*2

·         Don’t know*slime

·         Don’t know* rhinestone

·         Hey, its @a-kind-ale-war

·         Africa – Toto

·         Slo mo guys among the dead meme cosmos

·         Otherwise, you guessed it, no clue

·         Don’t know * field

·         Don’t know any of the eclipse crew

·        @caseyneistat

·         God’ wrath in the form of comets coming to smite us as failed creations

·         YouTube Is Shutting Down My Channel and I'm Not Sure What To Do

·         His beautiful bastards (nameless in my lack of knowledge)

·         6 zombies that died in obscurity, nameless and unknown, ‘tis a shame

·         Why I left Smosh

·         The cosmos of people I don’t know

·         KSI’s brother

·         Poppy

·         A DC lawsuit

·         Mooooooooorrrrrreeeeee spaaaaaaccceeeee

·         A youtube circle jerk of self-righteousness (more on that later)

·         People holding hands

·         The shitty vine family

·         Team 10 bitch who the hell are flipping you

·         The other one

·         Shitty IG ‘Comedy’ Squad

·         Black guys and backpack kid (Note: another good band name, though it needs tweaking)

·        @thetomska getting face fucked

·         Victims of the great slime massacre (slime control now!)

·         Old guy from react

·         Don’t know*roof party

·         Every teenage girls wet dream/gay ship

·         Daniel Keem saying floor is lava

·         Lava victims

·         A very cold rapper

·         Don’t know but has a sword

·         More zombie boys

·         A cluster of people 2012

·         Forehead in the back again (sorry jack)

·         @markiplier

·         Why I gave the pope Undertale

·         A finale of people I don’t know being absorbed by the cosmos

·         Neato mosquito animators

As you can see a good majority of the stars I doubt much people know, probably only chosen for the brand friendliness which begs the question…

Exclusions/double standards

A lot of people were excluded from this year’s rewind, which isn’t a surprise in the slightest. This issue was brought up last year as well, but with this year it showcases some hypocrisy with possible reasons to exclude folks. Firstly, KSI, he had the whole beef with NetNobody (the greatest Minecraft youtuber there is) but Netnobody was excluded, it couldn’t be numbers or presence as before retiring, Adam had about 11 million subs, maybe he declined, like most sane people would, or maybe because he neither pulls the views or the family friendly influence that he used to. Its safe to assume Ricegum and IDubbbz got rejected by choice, again sanity, or because of their beef, which is again hypocritical of the site as KSI was allowed on fine and Keem along with the Paul brothers aren’t the angels of Youtube either. Again, it seems YouTube is really trying to push this family friendly goofball persona which is perfect for the weird kids and the cool kids which is true but is only really surface level in the rewind and the reality isn’t really shown otherwise. Also fuck that Nazi racist Pewdiepie amirite ladies?

Hurricane Harvey debacle

I believe this is honestly the most insulting aspect of the rewind. Though it had good intentions it just highlights YouTube’s utter ignorance. Not to pull a PJW but this is dictionary definition virtue signalling. Youtube makes themselves out to be all together, yes youtube, you are the most influential platforms of our generation, cat videos and make-up vlogs can save the world! In all seriousness though this is one of the most botched poorly executed thing I’ve ever seen, and I’m counting HWNDU. For one thing the tone and flow is horrible, the segment is frankenstiened into the middle of the video and puts a halt on the relatively well paced video, and is followed by a radical hip and swaggity dance party yeah! As if the whole was a task by the team and when they were down with it they thought; “right, that’s over with. Back to the fun and cool stuff yeah!” if they kept the pace by putting the thing just before the credits as to highlight the message at the end and while everyone’s lifted by the message they’re treated to the credits and the talents of the wonderful animators. However, that would only make the segment flow correctly as, in my opinion, it comes off as quite nepotistic to big creators. A method they could’ve done is before they filmed or edited anything they could’ve announced to fans and viewers to send in webcam clips and videos of them holding hands in unity or saying unity, showing a UNITY between fans and creators. That said this brings me to my conclusion;

 Conclusion

Youtube doesn’t want to be youtube, it wants to be a family and advertiser friendly site for all to come, it wants to be seen as a beacon for ALL internet trends and ideas and it wants to be seen as a user and creator friendly platform. But youtube isn’t this, and youtube hates that. This year has seen the worst year in the sites history for user treatment and contact showing double standards with actual users and companies such as talk show hosts, with things like the adpocolypse rumoured trending tab rigging and trending tab blacklists. Along with this is the, as I said, nepostistic outlook on creators, with youtube success being less and less consistency based and more and more luck based on one video blowing up and staying that way, and trending (along with youtube in general), should facilitate a rise in creators and ideas instead of promoting channels who already have 5-6 million subs and censoring a lot of voice directly or indirectly. With no other options for video site (realistically, nobody uses vimeo or dailymotion and fucking rip vidme) youtube’s current state is more dire than ever and their push for a false identity within an identity crisis for the site is very obvious. This alongside their cowardice and compliance with controversy like in the nazi Pewds situation is showing to be really damaging.

Tl;dr: get a fucking backbone youtube and stop pretending to be something that you’re not.

[holmessexual-subtext]

I saw your post and oh god. There's so many things I want to ask about your writing! But mostly I want to ask about "This memory of you I cannot erase." It's still one of my all time favorite smosh fics. ANY commentary on that would be FABULOUS. What inspired you to make it? etc.

Ahhhh oh man I love that fic. It’s still one of my favorite things to have ever written to this day even though I feel like my writing has gotten better since then. Okay. I’m putting my answer under a read more, because let’s be honest, I get talkative when we’re talking about my fics.

So I wrote this when I was still relatively new to the fandom. I have this pink spiral notebook that I usually write poems and little snippets of fics in whenever I felt like I couldn’t get the creative juices flowing, and one day when I felt like I really wanted to write a new ianthony fic but didn’t really have any idea as to what to write, I opened that notebook. I honestly opened that notebook because I felt like I needed to write something by hand for inspiration, but then I found that one idea past-me wrote down, so I figured why not?

Sometimes, like tonight, there is a Smarati instead of a Reaper.

Why Smarati? I literally put the word “memory” in an online dictionary somewhere and I found that part of the word’s origin and etymology is actually from Sanskrit “Smarati” or “he remembers”.

Again, it’s important to understand when I wrote this: I wrote this in 2014. At the time, we all thought Anthony was going to get married to Kalel in 2015. That’s why their engagement was focused on in this fic. Also, I wrote this fic because I wanted an amnesia au fic, but I couldn’t seem to find any decent ones at the time. I didn’t go the traditional route though.

There was a man, before.

His name is Matt, and his memories were beautiful—still are, actually, because he hasn’t gotten them back yet.

Marhinki was my second big ship. I had to include them.

There was a woman. Her name is Marzia.

I was big into Pewds at the time. I had to include them.

“What do you want the most?” Anthony asks one day, when they’re walking across freshly-cut grass, their attention on eight year old Anthony.

Ian looks at the younger Anthony lying on the grass, peaceful, and finds himself saying, “my own memories.”

Going forward, I knew having his own memories would be the one wish Ian would ask for. It made sense, seeing as I felt like he constantly felt good feelings from the memories he’s been taking, but he also felt emptiness from the fact that none of these things were actually, truly his. And I knew that Anthony, feeling the way that he did about Ian, would have tried to figure out a way to give him what he’s always wanted. And he did, eventually.

“You’ve never explained to me how this place works.”

Ian looks at the endless expanse of swirling colors before them and feels sadness wash over him. Anthony can only see white—he cannot appreciate the beauty of his memories.

This is why Anthony asks Ian how the place works: so he can basically use it to get Ian what he wants.

Ian falls in love in a made-up memory.

You know I love me some one-liners.

He feels the grains of sand beneath him, and he smells the salty ocean air. The sun is setting, painting streaks of red and orange and yellow across the darkening sky, looking like it’s going for a dip in the ocean. The wind feels cool on his face, and he can hear the sounds of distant birds flying overhead and the roaring sound of the ocean as it crashes on the shore.

So, you’ve probably already noticed that I focused heavily on colors in this fic? It’s because I felt like nothing could really show just how abstract and beautiful memories were besides colors. I also focused heavily on things that you could sense in those parts of the story where Ian was in Anthony’s memories, because I wanted to get the reader to feel just how every sense felt new to Ian, even though he’s been doing this for a long time. He’s never smelled the salty ocean air in his own memories before. He’s never felt the grains of sand beneath him. It was important to me to get this concept out there.

It’s then when he realizes that oh, Anthony has managed to worm his way under Ian’s skin, has managed to make Ian feel. He knows that it’s not there—standing in front of the ocean, wordless, as Anthony runs towards the waves—when he falls in love with him, knows that it’s been happening all this time, slowly but surely, but he also knows that this is the first time he’s acknowledged the light, fluttery feeling in his chest, despite not having anything—blood, veins, and heart.

He looks at Anthony and sees happiness, sees home.

Ian hears the sound of the waves crashing on the shore and thinks, my heart, my heart, my heart.

You also know that I love my sentences with 64 words (honestly wtf me). Again, it felt important to show that this is new for Ian. He’s never felt this before.

Also, the my heart thing? You know how repetition is good for memory? Yeah. Repetition, because even though Ian isn’t likely to forget things (he collects memories, after all), he doesn’t want to take the chance of forgetting what he’s feeling in this moment later, when Anthony eventually leaves him.

When Anthony leaves and rejoins Kalel in real life—and Ian knows he eventually will, be it after two more months or two more years—Ian will still be here, on the other side of the veil, keeping his memories—keeping his affection for him—like grains of sand in a bottle.

Why the sand similes?

Because sand is like memories. Also, because sand featured heavily in that first memory Anthony gave Ian.

“Remember me,” Ian whispers. “Please, please, please.”

Anthony won’t remember him when he wakes up, but he repeats please because then maybe Anthony won’t forget him. He knows it’s irrational to hope for something like this, but this is Anthony, the man who gave him his own memories just because he said he wanted them.

When he opens his eyes, Anthony is gone.

I also like me some bittersweet endings.

So here’s the thing: Anthony doesn’t remember him. Eventually, Anthony gets married to Kalel and lives a happy life, not knowing what happened while he was in his coma. Ian will continue on being a Smarati, checking up on Anthony every day for the first few days to see if he’s getting better, and then eventually having to discipline himself and see Anthony less and less because it just hurts.

Sometimes, though, Anthony dreams of grainy sand under his feet and the sound of the ocean waves crashing on the shore. Sometimes he dreams of blue eyes, and the feeling of hands that are decidedly not Kalel’s pressing on either side of his face as someone kisses him, soft and deep and desperate. Sometimes he dreams of someone saying, “remember me,” and “please, please, please”.

And then he wakes up.

Like an etching on the sand washed away by the ocean waves crashing onto the shore, everything’s a blank slate.

Thank you so so much for asking about this fic! I love this fic, and I’m glad other people love it too