#save me smiling joongdok!!!!!

[orviposition]

hello fellow jd shipper! :3 do you have any recommendation of your absolute must read all time faves? i’m runninh out of jd fics. thank u very much in advance beforehand! (and no pressure to reply)

hihi anon ofc i have (more) fics to recommend

(link to my first joongdok fic recs)

and i hope that one day you will love yourself too - A TREND SETTER. my top 3 orv fics of all time. high school -> college au. you have to read this. i dont make the rules. (note that it says chapters 19/21 but the main story is already completed and the last two chapters will be side stories)

A study in geometric shapes - childhood friends, reality show. it's a pretty famous fic but at the time i made the first post i had yet to read this fic. my top 5 jd fics you need to read it if you havent

A perfect life - omegaverse (HEAR ME OUT OK when i tell you it has an AMAZING PLOT!!! pls trust me on this)

The way back home - post epilogue. in which kdj feels guilty of having been saved. your regular tuesday

A grim reaper's guide to keeping a human alive - just like the title says, pls pray for yjh cuz he's one overworked grim reaper in this fic

When love lasts - 50 first dates au. amnesia

Loving out of tune - neighbors. they cant stand each other (or so kdj thinks). very rich dialogue and comedy gold

I miss your smile (even though I have yet to know it) - gakuen alice au. protect kdj at all costs. kimcom will protect him but we need to protect him too

Is it wrong to pick up guys in someone else's body - amnesia. oh yjh your love is so huge

Ways of survival - time loop. very very very underrated

Love lives at the kitchen table - post epilogue. made me melt ong

Message from the universe: Kim Dokja must die - post epilogue. the universe has it out for kdj's neck as the title says. yes it's rated e but tis the plot that matters!!!

[astersoul]

Kim Dokja.

If anyone could've saved you, who would it be?

Would you have allowed it then, if you knew there'd be someone willing enough?

or would you still have chosen the same path only to save that person as well?

Would it have been possible for the end to change if Yoo Joonghyuk knew the answer?

Would it have been possible for him to reach towards the deepest parts of this man's heart if only he had come to understand him better?

Kim Dokja.

You have stubbornly, so unnecessarily, pinned all our hopes unto yourself - engraved them into your very bones as if it was the only way. As if this had always been your fate.

If you could decide your fate, won't it only be right if i decide my own to be the one that could've changed yours?

Kim Dokja.

You have turned your one and only savior into nothing more than a stranger. As if I didn't really matter to you. As if I couldn't have done this for you.

Yoo Joonghyuk could only tighten his grip unto the other man's collar. He was starting to fade, and this bastard still managed a faint genuine smile while declaring how this story had been a great one.

What was so great in a story that would only end with you nowhere to be seen? Your presence no longer to be felt, your laughter no longer to be heard? Your eyes no longer to behold your heart's indescribable amount of love?

To where exactly would this love of yours go, Kim Dokja? Was this sacrifice supposed to reflect everything you've held in your now weakening pulse? To whom was this even supposed to fall unto, you fool?

In this damned world, there would be no other Kim Dokja, and he was now slipping from Yoo Joonghyuk's grasp.

You cannot save those who can't be saved.

Yoo Joonghyuk felt sick.

Was there really no other choice?

It should've been me.

It should’ve been me.

It would’ve been me, Kim Dokja.

Yoo Joonghyuk felt his throat burning, rage scratching through the walls of his windpipe but the only words he could only blurt out were-

"No, No, No. Kim Dokja, No- Don't leave m-"

There was a heavy lump in his throat as he watched Kim Dokja's eyes, ones that always seemed to hold the stars, now dim into a blackened sky.

"Let's meet again, Yoo Joonghyuk."

Yoo Joonghyuk's palm could only clutch at the ashes of the one he could not call his own.

The only one he could not save.

- this song reminded me of joongdok, so i wanted to write something in hopes i could get over that certain chapter....

tho this may not necessarily point to 3rd turn yjh alone, this is also to a yjh who would've been desperate enough to show this vulnerability in him as he grasps at the remaining seconds he had with kdj

(i havent reached this part in the novel yet so this is purely an hc TT)

[pillow-boi]

Hello, I really love your art!

I know you made this a while ago, but I was wondering if you had any lore/headcanons about the orv witch/witch hunter au you made

I do!!!! I had a lot of comments or interesting ideas in the tags, and some of them were really inspiring. Here is an long and disparate list of my headcanons for that AU:

So in this AU, magic only works if you have an object/animal (not recommended because difficult to control) as a magic catalyst. It doesn't have to be near the witch, but the source should exist. If it is destroyed, they can't use magic until they accumulate magic and choose another catalyst with a complicated and long ritual. Could take years. Most of the time, witches hide it or keep it with them, so it's often an object they really like.

After many trials, Yjh thought it was the book because he realised kdj loved to read and always had that book with him.

Too bad, it was all kdj's trap. The reason kdj chose yjh's medallion as his magic catalyst is because he knows yjh will never find out but also because he thinks yjh is invincible. To destroy that medallion, he would have to be beaten, and kdj can't conceive such a thing.

Hsy is also a witch, and ysa is the hunter that goes the most after her, but unlike joongdok, they became friends at some point and are actually collaborating a lot. When they meet, they either fight for fun or go eat crepes together. They also share intel.

As for joongdok, they fight for real every time they meet. But there also are common ennemies of both witches and hunters, like monsters, bad sorcerers or constellations (=patrons of magic here).

During a fight between yjh and a very strong constellation, yjh seems to have a hard time. Kdj is watching from afar but doesn't want to interfere because he didn't originally plan to fight that constellation now. At one point, the constellation attacks yjh and he's definitely going to hit him right on his chest (where the medallion is), so kdj HAS to come and defend yjh so his magic catalyst doesn't get destroyed. OF COURSE yjh is very confused and still has no idea it's because of the medallion so he's like "why are you saving me?". And OF COURSE kdj isn't going to spill the beans so he doesn't say anything and just smiles at yjh. In the end they fight the constellation together and kdj slips away after the fight.

After that yjh is even more relentless in hunting kdj but when he finds an object that might be his catalyst, he just takes it with him instead of destroying it (he still pins kdj with his sword and menacingly asks him if it's the right object but kdj never says).

They fight together against constellations and nebulas more and more.

Good things never last and during a BIG FIGHT against a nebula, yjh's medallion gets destroyed and kdj ends up powerless in the middle of the fight. Yjh notices it and put 2 and 2 together, but it's too late, the constellation is aiming for kdj and it's going to fast. With one last smile, kdj is hit, falls, and magically crumbles away, in front of yjh and all of kimcom.

BUT NO ONE KNOWS THAT HE'S BECOMING A CONSTELLATION HIMSELF HA HA HA. He indeed met all the criteria to become a patron of magic himself.

That's it, I haven't thought any further.

[doumekiss]

2024

Fanfiction

Inside Your Head - 51/51 (ORV, Joongdok)

Doodling - Oneshot (Dungeon Meshi, Labru)

A Life in Your Shape - 1/? (Dungeon Meshi, Labru)

If I'm Lucky - Oneshot (Yellowjackets, Taivan)

The Beginning of Something New - Oneshot (Dungeon Meshi, Laishuro)

when you kill the lights, and kiss my eyes (I feel like a person for a moment of my life) - Oneshot (Dungeon Meshi, Labru)

Oh...oh no - 2/2 (Dungeon Meshi, Labru + Mithrun)

Flavors - Oneshot (Dungeon Meshi, Farcille + Laios)

White Day - Oneshot (Dungeon Meshi, Labru)

Interesting Facts About Cicadas - Oneshot (Dungeon Meshi, Laishuro)

What are your intentions with my brother? - Oneshot (Dungeon Meshi, Labru + Farcille)

Ramen Noodles - Oneshot (Dungeon Meshi, Mithmil)

I knew nothing of romance (but it was love at second sight) - Oneshot (Dungeon Meshi, Mithmil)

Kabru's Great Regret - Oneshot (Dungeon Meshi, Labru + Mithrun)

It's love's illusions I recall - Oneshot (Dungeon Meshi, Kabru and Rin)

Breasting Boobily - Oneshot (Dungeon Meshi, Cithadol)

Xerochrysum - Oneshot (Dungeon Meshi, Farcille)

Whatever this world can give to me (It's you, you're all I see) - Oneshot (Dungeon Meshi, Mickbell and Kuro + Chilchuck)

If the fire in your chest goes out (well I'll hold you all the same) - Oneshot (Dungeon Meshi, Mithrun and his Brother)

will I find you when the night is over? - Oneshot (Dungeon Meshi, Chilshi)

Elf Cake - Oneshot (Dungeon Meshi, Kabru and Mithrun + Mithmil)

Heartache - Oneshot (Dungeon Meshi, Farcille)

Poison Paradise - Oneshot (Dungeon Meshi, Cithadol)

Motherhood - Oneshot (Dungeon Meshi, Milsiril and Kabru)

The Royal Advisor Did WHAT With The King? - 15/? (Dungeon Meshi, Labru)

TV Shows Seasons/Series 

1. Meet The Richardsons - S01 - ★★★★

2. Ghosts (cbs) - S01 - ★★★★★ 

3. Ghosts (cbs)- S02 - ★★★★★ 

4. Upstart Crow - S01 - ★★★★

5. Upstart Crow - S02 - ★★★★

6. Link Click - S01 - ★★★★

7. Link Click - S02 - ★★★★

8. Shadows House - S01 - ★★★★★ 

9. Shadows House - S02 - ★★★★★ 

10. Abbott Elementary - S02 - ★★★★

11. The Curious Case of Natalia Grace - S01 - ★★★★

12. The Curious Case of Natalia Grace - S02 - ★★★

13. Extraordinary - S02 - ★★★★

15. The Apothecary Diaries - S01 - ★★★★★ 

16. Sousou no Frieren - S01 - ★★★★★ 

17. Mashle - S01 - ★★★

18. We Are Lady Parts - S01 - ★★★★★ 

19. Ghosts (cbs) - S03 - ★★★★

20. Rick and Morty - S06 - ★★★

21. Dungeon Meshi - S01 - ★★★★★ 

22. Smiling Friends - S01 - ★★★★

23. Interview With The Vampire - S02 - ★★★★★ 

24. Smiling Friends - S02 - ★★★★

25. Bob’s Burgers - S14 - ★★★★

26. Rick and Morty - S07 - ★★★

27. Handa-Kun - S01 - ★★★★

28. Dead Boy Detectives - S01 - ★★★★

29. Servant - S01 - ★★★★

30. Taskmaster - S16 - ★★★★

31. Star Trek : Deep Space 9 - S06 - ★★★★★ 

32. Tanaka-Kun is Always Listless - S01 - ★★★★

33. Train To The End of The World - S01 - ★★★

34. Taskmaster - S17 - ★★★★★ 

35. Star Trek : Deep Space 9 - S07 - ★★★★

36. Superstore - S01 - ★★★★★ 

Books and Comics 

January 

1. Unruly (David Mitchell) - ★★★★

2. And Put Away Childish Things (Adrian Tchaikovsky) - ★★★★

3. Patricia Wants to Cuddle (Samantha Allen) - ★★★

4. Earth Fathers Are Weird (Lyn Gala) - ★★★★

5. Earth Husbands Are Odd (Lyn Gala) - ★★★★

6. Flashforward (Robert J. Sawyer) - ★★★

7. Elder Race (Adrian Tchaikovsky) - ★★★★★ 

8. A Haunting on the Hill (Elizabeth Hand) - ★★★

9. Marigold and Rose (Louise Gluck) - ★★★★

10. Jimmy's Blues and Other Poems (James Baldwin) - ★★★★

11. Tress of the Emerald Sea (Brandon Sanderson) - ★★★★★ 

12. Aimee & Jaguar: A Love Story, Berlin 1943 (Erica Fischer) - ★★★★

13. Breadcrumbs (Anne Ursu) - ★★★

14. The Borrowers (Mary Norton) - ★★★

15. The Frugal Wizard's Handbook for Surviving Medieval England (Brandon Sanderson) - ★★★★

16. The Commitments (Roddy Doyle) - ★★★

17. The Art Thief (Michael Finkel) - ★★★★

18. Barrayar (Lois McMaster Bujold) - ★★★★★ 

19. This Book May Save Your Life (Karan Rajan) - ★★★★

20. The Salt Grows Heavy (Cassandra Khaw) - ★★★

21. The Year of the Hare (Arto Paasilinna) - ★★★

22. A Dog's Heart (Mikhail Bulgakov) - ★★★★

23. Crooked House (Agatha Christie) - ★★★★

24. Goodbye, My Rose Garden (Dr. Pepperco) - ★★★★

25. Kissing the Witch (Emma Donahue) - ★★★★★ 

26. The Starless Sea (Erin Morgenstern) - ★★★

27. Meruhen Na Otoko Tachi (Itsuki, Makoto) - ★★★★

28. Murikon. (Makoto Itsuki) - ★★★

29. You're Not a Girl in a Movie (Hala Alyan) - ★★★★

30. The Arkadians (Lloyd Alexander) - ★★★

31. The Bluest Eye (Toni Morrison) - ★★★★★ 

February 

1. Poor Things (Alasdair Gray) - ★★★★

2. Night (Elie Wiesel) - ★★★★

3. Carnaval (Manuel Bandeira) - ★★

4. Sins of the Black Flamingo (Andrew Wheeler; Tradd Moore) - ★★★

5. Project Hail Mary (Andy Weir) - ★★★★★ 

6. Sentimento Do Mundo (Carlos Drummond De Andrade) - ★★★★

7. The Woman in Me (Britney Spears) - ★★★★

8. Dark Matter: The New Science of the Microbiome (James Kinross) - ★★★★

9. Songs of Innocence and Experience (William Blake) - ★★★★

10. Estrela Da Tarde (Manuel Bandeira) - ★★★★

11. The Maidens (Alex Michaelides) - ★★★★

12. When Marnie Was There (Joan G. Robinson) - ★★★★

13. Say Nothing (Patrick Radden Keefe) - ★★★★★ 

14. Three Men in a Boat (Jerome K. Jerome) - ★★★

15. Redemption in Indigo (Karen Lord) - ★★★★

16. The Warrior's Apprentice (Lois McMaster Bujold) - ★★★★

17. Secondhand Time: The Last of the Soviets (Svetlana Alexievich) - ★★★★★ 

18. The Egg and Other Stories (Andy Weir) - ★★★★

19. Dogs of Summer (Andrea Abreu) - ★★★

20. Ruthless (Dumplone) - ★★★

21. Kay's Anatomy (Adam Kay) - ★★★★

22. Way Station (Clifford D. Simak) - ★★★★

23. Palepoli (Usamura Furuya) - ★★★

24. The Princess in Black (Shannon Hale & Dean Hale) - ★★★★

25. The Princess in Black and the Perfect Princess Party (Shannon Hale) - ★★★

26. The Princess in Black and the Hungry Bunny Horde (Shannon Hale) - ★★★★

27. The Colossus and Other Poems (Sylvia Plath) - ★★★★

28. Winter Trees (Sylvia Plath) - ★★★★

29. The Gods Themselves (Isaac Asimov) - ★★★

March

1. The Brothers Karamazov (Fyodor Dostoyevsky) - ★★★★★

2. The Woman in the Purple Skirt (Natsuko Imamura) - ★★★★

3. Contos Negreiros (Marcelino Freire) - ★★★

4. Jonathan Livingston Seagull (Richard Bach) - ★★★

5. The Phantom of the Opera (Gaston Leroux) - ★★★★

6. Void (Zariya) - ★★★

7. On Palestine (Noam Chomsky) - ★★★★

8. The Martian (Andy Weir) - ★★★★★ 

9. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoevsky) - ★★★★

10. Foster (Claire Keegan) - ★★★

11. Blood of the Sun (Yang Seonghyeon) - ★★★

12. The Eternal Husband (Fyodor Dostoevsky) - ★★★

13. The White Darkness (David Grann) - ★★★

14. Shadows House (Somato) - ★★★★★ 

15. Assassin's Apprentice (Robin Hobb) - ★★★★

16. Royal Assassin (Robin Hobb) - ★★★★

17. Cold Comfort Farm (Stella Gibbons) - ★★★

18. Sexing the Cherry (Jeanette Winterson) - ★★★★

19. Gory Details: Adventures From the Dark Side of Science (Erika Engelhaupt) - ★★★★

20. The Story of China (Michael Wood) - ★★★

21. Kieta Hatsukoi (Hinekure Wataru, Aruko) - ★★★★★ 

22. Confessions of a Mask (Yukio Mishima) - ★★★★

23. Jamais Peço Desculpas Por Me Derramar (Ryane Leão) - ★★★★

24. This Won't Help : Modest Proposals for a More Enjoyable Apocalypse (Eli Grober) - ★★★★

25. 2001: A Space Odyssey (Arthur C. Clarke) - ★★

26. No Longer Human (Osamu Dazai) - ★★★

27. Pale Fire (Vladimir Nabokov) - ★★★★

28. The Prince of Mist (Carlos Ruiz Zafón) - ★★★★

29. The Murder of Roger Ackroyd (Agatha Christie) - ★★★★

30. Lincoln's Dreams (Connie Willis) - ★

31. Goodbye, Eri (Tatsuki Fujimoto) - ★★★★

32. The Call of the Wild (Jack London) - ★★★★

33. Rutka's Notebook (Ruth Laskier) - ★★★

34. The Travelling Cat Chronicles (Hiro Arikawa) - ★★★★★ 

35. Jane of Lantern Hill (L.M. Montgomery) - ★★★

36. The World Keeps Ending and the World Goes on (Franny Choi) - ★★★★

37. Deliberate Cruelty (Roseanne Montillo) - ★★★

38. Final Chapters: How Famous Authors Dies (Jim Bernhard) - ★

39. Shirahime-Syo (Clamp) - ★★★

40. Via Láctea (Olavo Bilac) - ★★★

41. The Goodbye Cat (Hiro Arikawa) - ★★★★

42. The Hole (Hiroko Oyamada) - ★★★

43. Diary of a Wimpy Kid (Jeff Kinney) - ★★★★

April

1. The Secret Adversary (Agatha Christie) - ★★★

2. Erio and the Electric Doll (Mujirushi Shimazaki) - ★★★★

3. The Watcher in the Shadows (Carlos Ruiz Zafon) - ★★★

4. Romanceiro Da Inconfidência (Cecília Meireles) - ★★★★

5. Ordeal by Innocence (Agatha Christie) - ★★★ 

6. Tao Te Ching (Lao-Tzu) - ★★★★

7. Schoolgirl (Osamu Dazai) - ★★★★

8. Billy Budd, Sailor (Melville, Herman)

9. The Princess in Black Takes a Vacation (Shannon Hale) - ★★★

10. The Princess in Black and the Perfect Playdate (Shannon Hale) - ★★★★

11. Princess in Black and the Science Fair Scare (Shannon Hale) - ★★★

12. The Princess in Black and the Bathtime Battle (Shannon Hale) - ★★★

13. The Princess in Black and the Giant Problem (Shannon Hale) - ★★★★

14. Small Things Like These (Claire Keegan) - ★★★★

15. The Lover (Silvia Moreno-Garcia) - ★★★

16. The Grandmothers (Doris Lessing) - ★★★

17. Kindergarten Wars (Yuu Chiba) - ★★★

18. The Idiot (Fyodor Dostoevsky) - ★★★★

19. Grendel (John Gardner) - ★★★

20. Sleeping Dead (Asada Nemui) - ★★★★★ 

21. Dear, My God (Asada Nemui) - ★★★

22. Deen, My Love (Asada Nemui) - ★★★★

23. Madara Moyou No Yoi (Asada Nemui) - ★★★

24. The Pale Horse (Agatha Christie) - ★★★★

25. Call (Asada Nemui) - ★★★★

26. Ai, Sei (Asada Nemui) - ★★★

27. Takatora-Kun to Omegatachi (Asada Nemui) - ★★★★

28. Pinocchio (Carlo Collodi) - ★★★

29. The Remains of the Day (Kazuo Ishiguro) - ★★★★★ 

30. The Flowers of Buffoonery (Osamu Dazai) - ★★★

31. If Beale Street Could Talk (James Baldwin) - ★★★★

32. Skin (Asada Nemui) - ★★★

33. Magma (Thora Hjörleifsdóttir) - ★★★★

34. Dreaming in Code : Ada Byron Lovelace, Computer Pioneer (Emily Arnold McCully) - ★★★★

May

1. Wyrd Sisters (Terry Pratchett) - ★★★★★ 

2. Witches Abroad (Terry Pratchett) - ★★★★

3. Starve Acre (Andrew Michael Hurley) - ★★★★

4. Feet of Clay (Terry Pratchett) - ★★★★★ 

5. Jingo (Terry Pratchett) - ★★★★

6. Hare No Hi (Asada Nemui) - ★★★

7. One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich (Alexander Solzhenitsyn)- ★★★

8. A House With Good Bones (T. Kingfisher) - ★★★★

9. The Premonition (Banana Yoshimoto) - ★★★

10. Ani No Chuukoku (Asada Nemui) - ★★★

11. The Dream of a Ridiculous Man (Fyodor Dostoyevsky) - ★★★

12. The Sailor Who Fell From Grace With the Sea (Yukio Mishima) - ★★★

13. Going Postal (Terry Pratchett) - ★★★★★ 

14. Making Money (Terry Pratchett) - ★★★★★ 

15. The City and the Pillar (Gore Vidal) - ★★★★

16. Every Man for Himself and God Against All (Werner Herzog) - ★★★★

17. The Story of Doctor Dolittle (Hugh Lofting) - ★★★

18. Where Hope Comes From: Poems of Resilience, Healing and Light (Nikita Gill) - ★★★

19. Myra Breckenridge (Gore Vidal) - ★★★

20. Oratório De Santa Maria Egipcíaca (Cecília Meireles) - ★★★

21. Loved Circus (Asada Nemui) - ★★★

22. The Truth (Terry Pratchett) - ★★★★★

23. The Mountain in the Sea (Ray Nayler) - ★★★★

24. Around the World in 80 Days (Jules Verne) - ★★★

25. A Theory of Haunting (Sarah Monette) - ★★★

26. Dialogue (Robert McKee) - ★★★★

June 

1. Sleep Donation (Karen Russell) - ★★

2. The Islands of Chaldea (Diana Wynne Jones) - ★★★

3. Go Tell It on the Mountain (James Baldwin) - ★★★★

4. Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly (Anthony Bourdain) - ★★★★

5. Rivals! Frenemies Who Changed the World (Scott McCormick) - ★★★★

6. Rivals 2! More Frenemies Who Changed the World (Scott McCormick) - ★★★

7. The Goblin Reservation (Clifford Simak) - ★★★★

8. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time (Mark Haddon) - ★★★★

9. Casino Royale (Ian Fleming) - ★

10. Tunneling to the Center of the Earth (Kevin Wilson) - ★★★★

11. Outlaw Marriages (Rodger Streitmatter) - ★★★★

12. Before the Ever After (Jacqueline Woodson) - ★★★

13. Joni Mitchell: In Her Own Words (Joni Mitchell & Malka Marom) - ★★★★

14. Cumbe (Marcelo D'salete) - ★★★★

15. Shy (Max Porter) - ★★★

16. Alien Clay (Adrian Tchaikovsky) - ★★★★

17. Trinta E Poucos (Antonio Prata) - ★★★★

18. Noite Luz (Marcelo D'salete) - ★★★

19. O Meu Amigo Pintor (Lygia Bojunga) - ★★★★

20. If Cats Disappeared From the World (Genki Kawamura) - ★★★★

21. The Postman (Antonio Skármeta) - ★★★

22. Ten Drugs (Thomas Hager) - ★★★★

23. Black Paradox (Junji Ito) - ★★★★

24. Service Model (Adrian Tchaikovsky) - ★★★★

25. The Duel (Anton Chekhov) - ★★★

26. The Depth of the Sky (Kohinata Maruko and Sakurai Mina) - ★★★★

July

1. Sherbet Above The Sea of Fog (Ppeowapiwasal) - ★★★★

2. Sensor (Junji Ito) - ★★★

3. 4. Pity (Andrew McMillan) - ★★★

4. Talking About Detective Fiction (P. D. James) - ★★★★

5. The Bow (Sasaki Kuroda) 

6. Baby, You’re Gonna Be Mine (Kevin Wilson) - ★★★★

7. Kill The Male Lead To Become The Villainess (Shisi Xia Xiang) - ★★★

8. Maskerade (Terry Pratchett) - ★★★★

9. Why We Get Sick (Randolph M. Nesse and George C. Williams) - ★★★★★

10. 84, Charing Cross Road (Helene Hanff) - ★★★★

11. The Metamorphosis (Franz Kafka) - ★★★★

12. O Jumento Que Foi Á Lua 

13. Rendezvous With Rama (Arthur C. Clarke) - ★★★★

14. Strange Sally Diamond (Liz Nugent) - ★★

15. The Sisters Brothers (Patrick DeWitt) - ★★★★

16. Mort (Terry Pratchett) - ★★★★

17. Soul Music (Terry Pratchett) - ★★★★

18. Caffeine (Michael Pollan) - ★★★

19. Novelist as a Vocation (Haruki Murakami) - ★★★

20. Star Trek : Revenant (Alex White) - ★★★★

21. The Sea and The Little Fishes (Terry Pratchett) - ★★★★

22. Beacon 23 (Hugh Howey) - ★★★

23.Ascendance of a Bookworm: Daughter of a Soldier Vol. 1 (Miya Kazuki) - ★★★★

24. Ascendance of a Bookworm: Daughter of a Soldier Vol. 2 (Miya Kazuki) - ★★★★

25. Only You Can Save Mankind (Terry Pratchett) - ★★★

26. Elevation (Stephen King) - ★★★

27. The Gilda Stories (Jewelle Gomez) - ★★★★

28. The Cry of The Owl (Patricia Highsmith) - ★★

29. The Fifth Elephant (Terry Pratchett) - ★★★★

30. Shakespeare For Squirrels (Christopher Moore) - ★★★

31. Welcome to the OC : The Oral History (Alan Sepinwall) - ★★★★★

32. Norwegian Wood (Haruki Murakami) - ★★★

33. Mislaid in Parts Half-Known (Seanan McGuire) - - ★★★★

August

1. Paldin's Grace (T. Kingfisher) - ★★★★

2. Little Lord Funtleroy (Frances Hodgson Burnett) - - ★★★

3. Rebecca (Daphne Du Maurier) - ★★★★

4. Paladin's Strenght (T. Kingfisher) - - ★★★★

Movies 

January 

1. Totally Killer (2023) - ★★★★

2. The Estate (2022) - ★★

3. On Chesil Beach (2018) - ★★★

4. Five Nights at Freddy's (2023) - ★★★★

5. Mean Girls (2004) - ★★★★★ 

6. Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023) - ★★★★

7. Jaws (1975) - ★★★

8. The Notorious Bettie Page (2005) - ★★★★

9. Chicago (2002) - ★★★★★ 

10. Next Goal Wins (2023) - ★★★★

11. See How They Run (2022) - ★★★

12. Bottoms (2023) - ★★★★★ 

13. Eileen (2023) - ★★★★

14. The Bishop's Wife (1947) - ★★★★

15. 12 Angry Men (1957) - ★★★★★ 

16. Torch Song Trilogy (1988) - ★★★★

17. Don't Bother to Knock (1952) - ★★★

18. The Divorcee (1930) - ★★★

19. Scooby-Doo (2002) - ★★★★

February 

1. Saltburn (2023) - ★★★★

2. Milli Vanilli (2023) - ★★★★

3. Coded: The Hidden Love of J.C. Leyendecker (2021) - ★★★

4. Ishtar (1987) - ★★

5. Aguirre: The Wrath of God (1972) - ★★★

6. Ivy (1947) - ★★★

7. Hotel Transylvania (2012) - ★★★

8. Gone Girl (2014) - ★★★★★ 

9. American Fiction (2023) - ★★★★

10. Surf's Up (2007) - ★★★

11. The Godfather (1972) - ★★★★

March

1. Poor Things (2023) - ★★★★

2. Mean Girls (2024) - ★★

3. Happy Death Day (2017) - ★★★★★ 

4. Cold Comfort Farm (1995) - ★★★

5. Shiva Baby (2021) - ★★★★

6. The Three Faces of Eve (1957) - ★★★★★ 

7. Dicks: The Musical (2023) - ★★★★★ 

8. Analyze This (1999) - ★★★

9. The Mask (1994) - ★★★

10. What's Up, Doc? (1972) - ★★★★★ 

11. The End of the Affair (1999) - ★★★

12. The SpongeBob Squarepants Movie (2004) - ★★★★

13. Shrek (2001) - ★★★★★ 

14. Leave Her to Heaven (1945) - ★★★★★ 

April

1. Bell, Book and Candle (1958) - ★★★★

2. The Company of Wolves (1984) - ★★★★★ 

3. Sabrina (1954) - ★★★★★ 

4. Getulio (2014) - ★★★★

5. The Croods (2013) - ★★★★

6. The Heiress (1949) - ★★★★★ 

7. The Dark Mirror (1946) - ★★★★

8. In This Our Life (1942) - ★★★

9. The Remains of the Day (1993) - ★★★★★ 

10. My Best Fiend (1999) - ★★★★★ 

11. Burden of Dreams (1982) - ★★★★★ 

12. Werner Herzog Eats His Shoe (1980) - ★★★★★ 

13. All About Eve (1950) - ★★★★★ 

14. It's Love I'm After (1937) - ★★★★

15. Encounters at the End of the World (2007) - ★★★★★ 

16. Grizzly Man (2005) - ★★★★★ 

17. My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done? - ★★★★

18. Stand-In (1937) - ★★★

19. The Petrified Forest (1936) - ★★★★

20. The House of the Seven Gables (1940) - ★★★★

May

1. Auntie Mame (1958) - ★★★★

2. Shrek (2001) - ★★★★★ 

3. Late Night With the Devil (2024) - ★★★★★ 

4. Biosphere (2023) - ★★★★

5. Gone With the Wind (1939) - ★

6. House of Wax (1953) - ★★★★

7. The Whales of August (1987) - ★★★

8. Myra Breckinridge (1970) - ★★

9. Precautions Against Fanatics (1969) - ★★

10. May December (2023) - ★★★★

11. Lucy and Desi (2022) - ★★★★★ 

12. Creep (2014) - ★★★★★ 

13. Creep 2 (2017) - ★★★★★ 

14. Abigail (2024) - ★★★

15. Gosford Park (2001) - ★★★★

16. Clockwatchers (1997) - ★★★

17. Rashomon (1950) - ★★★★

18. Rosaline (2022) - ★★★

19. Challengers (2024) - ★★★★

20. Matilda (1996) - ★★★★★ 

21. Re-Animator (1985) - ★★★

22. Shadow of the Vampire (2000) - ★★★

23. Dragonwyck (1946) - ★★★★

24. Vincent (1982) - ★★★★

June

1. The Frog Princess (1954) - ★★★★

2. I'm No Angel (1933) - ★★★

3. Coherence (2013) - ★★★★

4. Exam (2009) - ★★★

5. How to Murder Your Husband: The Nancy Brophy Story (2023) - ★★★

6. In the Soup (1992) - ★★★

7. She Done Him Wrong (1933) - ★★★

8. Blonde in Black Leather (1975) - ★★★★

9. The Philadelphia Story (1940) - ★★★★★ 

10. The Night of the Hunter (1955) - ★★★★★ 

11. Rebecca (1940) - ★★★★

12. Inside Out 2 (2024) - ★★★

July 

1. Tripping (2024) - ★★★★

2. Tall, Dark and Handsome (2023) - ★★★★

3. The Orgy (2018) - ★★★★

4. Lady Brentley’s End (2022) - ★★★

5. Home (2015) - ★★★★

6. The Silence of The Lambs (1991) - ★★★★★ 

7. Rain Man (1988) - ★★★★

8. The Super Mario Bros Movie (2023) - ★★★★

9. Kramer vs. Kramer (1979) - ★★★★

10. Bonnie and Clyde (1967) - ★★★★

11. Faye (2024) - ★★★★

12. Mommie Dearest (1981) - ★★

[kdj-225]

um um short royalty isekai joongdok???? kdj transmigrating into a world where he is the emperor and yjh is his trustworthy knight 🤭🤭🤭 (its ok if you cant write this or if it's not exact, i love your writing so much!!!!!!)

[!!! I'm so glad you enjoy my written works, thank you so much!! I had fun writing this prompt, I hope you like it as well!! 💕💖💕💜]

note: this is first person POV, from KDJ's perspective!

cw for: passing jokes on death / dying

----

※DO NOT REPOST / HOST MY WORK ON OTHER APPS OR SITES

A year has already passed since my transmigration into this web novel.

A year of struggling not to fall into anxiety at my current reality as the emperor of a fictional kingdom, a year of fooling my own people that I was perfectly hale and healthy and not going insane at my own transmigration, and a year of me having to figure out just what I could do so I wouldn't accidentally set myself up with a death flag with the smallest of actions.

One damn year, and the heroine could finally take my dangerous knight commander away so I didn't have to keep being under his watchful eye, and they could have their happy ending.

For all that I'd read what felt like a million webnovels in my original life, and for all that I loved certain tropes enough to read them over and over in different stories, I could still remember the plot for this novel I'd been thrown into.

It was typical, for a romance fantasy fiction.

The heroine was a saintess born into the life of a commoner, with a heart of gold intent on serving the people. Her male lead was the cold and unfaltering Knight Commander, the youngest person to have ever received such a title in the empire, and her childhood friend. Both people skilled on opposing sides—one in saving lives, with the other in taking them—yet with loyalty similarly sworn to the kingdom.

And between them was the emperor, who sought to have the saintess to himself. For power? For love? For sheer greed?

I had no idea. I wasn't able to finish the webnovel, considering how it had been ongoing the last time I read it.

"Your Majesty. Stop shaking your leg."

I stopped shaking my leg, realizing a little too late that I'd been doing it at all. "I admire your gall to tell your emperor what to do," I said, frowning when I gave Joonghyuk a look. "Can't you guard me from the outside?"

"You have a window behind you."

"If I die, I die."

Joonghyuk scowled at me. Somehow, he could still look handsome while making such an ugly expression. "Your Majesty. I don't appreciate such jokes."

Oh, but were they really jokes? Maybe I could go back to my original world if I die. It wasn't like I was brave enough to test it out myself, so if someone else could do me a favor...

I smiled. Well, there was no point to thinking such things when my Knight Commander was so scarily efficient with his work.

"My apologies. I'll try to be more tasteful with my jokes next time."

"Please don't joke at all."

"Ah, but where's the fun in that," I sighed, finishing signing off on a document about opening an investigation for a potentially corrupt baron. "You are boring enough as is, Joonghyuk-ah. I can't let you get any more boring when you're with me."

He raised a brow. "Is that why you've set up a ball for me."

It wasn't even a question. This guy really was a weirdo, regardless of his status as the male lead.

"You're my favorite knight," I teased, putting my pen down so I could rest my cheek into my upright palm. "Isn't it only fair to celebrate you and your achievements?"

"You wish to marry me off."

"I wish to see you happy."

I received a mysterious look in response. If this series were a webtoon, then perhaps I'd have a better chance at deciphering his expressions, but it had yet to be adapted into comic form when I read it.

Ah, really. This guy was the one who made things so much more difficult for me than they needed to be. At least Lee Seolhwa was easier to deal with, given her prioritization of healing as a practice.

"How about Your Majesty?"

I cocked my head to one side in question. "What about me?"

"If marriage equates to happiness, I don't understand why you haven't chosen your own spouse yet."

I wanted to tell him that I had no right to such happiness in a world that isn't mine. That I didn't deserve to create a family here, when there was still a chance of me going back. That I wasn't meant for marriage at all.

But I couldn't.

So I said, "Your happiness is enough for me, Joonghyuk-ah."

"Is that so."

"Yes."

He gave me a long look. Again, it was difficult for me to decipher.

"Then you will not question my choice later," he said.

I blinked at him, then smiled widely. Of course, it was like that. Yoo Joonghyuk has known Lee Seolhwa for long enough even before my transmigration that he must have built up such feelings for her even without my meddling. He must be wary that his emperor would feel envious of his choice, right?

But I wasn't that emperor from the original novel. I wouldn't interfere with their happiness.

"I won't, Joonghyuk-ah."

He nodded.

Was it just me, or was he smiling a little?

"Good to know, Your Majesty."

---

I should have taken his words for the warning that they were. I should have realized that something was wrong from the start.

If I had prepared myself better, I would've known what to say now that my Knight Commander was kneeling in front of me.

I couldn't even swear.

"Joonghyuk-ah, what is the meaning of this..?"

My voice was shaky, for all my efforts to remain calm.

Joonghyuk didn't mind it, as he did just take my trembling hand. I had just announced what the ball's purpose was with him at my side, I had told everyone of his achievements—

Then he'd abruptly kneeled upon one knee in front of me, and told me that he wanted me.

This couldn't have been in the novel at all. The ball itself might not have been prepared by the emperor in the original novel, but surely, such a change couldn't have led to something this insane?

"I told you," he said, taking my hand closer to press a kiss upon my gloved knuckles. He didn't seem to mind the increase in volume from everyone else's gossiping and murmuring. "You are the person I want as my spouse. Did you not say?"

His eyes, dark and deep as they were, glinted brightly under the chandelier lights.

"You won't question my choice, Your Majesty."

Fuck.

[marisramblings]

Thief! (Fem!Dokja x Fem!Joonghyuk)

Kinda forgot to post here about my Fem!Dokjoong/Joongdok anthology. It’s an update when I have inspo thing so I’ll take any requests.

Warnings: very, very slight nsfw

Dokja throws her hands up in frustration. She’s emptied out her drawer, closet, and laundry basket, but she can’t find her tls123 shirt. Sooyoung’s book signing is today and her only request is for Dokja to wear the shirt. Does Dokja want to go? Absolutely not, but Sooyoung’s paying and she needs extra money for her girlfriend’s birthday gift.

Joonghyuk’s birthday is in two weeks and Dokja’s been saving for the new switch. Joonghyuk’s really been into Omori, and she wants to buy the accompanying art book. It’s $70 before taxes and shipping. Her monthly salary is not enough for these gifts and her portion of the bills.

Dokja goes through everything one more time. She puts everything back before storming into the living room with a frustrated groan. Joonghyuk looks up from her perch on the couch. Her curly hair has been wrestled into a crooked braid, courtesy of Mia. She’s watching some cooking show and writing down the recipe.

“What’s wrong?”

Dokja sighs as she collapses onto the couch. “I can’t find my tls shirt. Sooyoung told me that I have to wear it or she won’t pay me.”

Joonghyuk places a hand on Dokja’s head and pats it. Her gaze remains on the tv.

“I can just give you money.”

Damn. Dokja thought she had hidden her uttering motivation better. “I’m a capable adult. I can make my own money.” Does her girlfriend make more from a single stream than she does in two months? Yes, but it’s the principle, not the practicality.

“Hm.” Joonghyuk opens the blanket just enough for Dokja to wriggle beside her.

Dokja looks at Joonghyuk. Her gaze is uninterested, as usual, and she’s wearing her gaming jacket. She’s always cold or never hot, and Dokja has yet to figure out which. Something peaks out from the fabric and she carefully pulls it to the side.

“Are you wearing my shirt?”

“Hm,” is all Joonghyuk says, but Dokja can see the hint of a smile.

“You are!”

Joonghyuk deftly dodges Dokja’s grasping hands. “I guess you’ll just have to stay home then.”

“Are you serious? I need the money—“

Joonghyuk pulls her in and gives Dokja a quick kiss. Smirks at her shocked face.

“If it’s for my birthday, I’m fine. Dumplings, you, and games are all I want anyway.”

“Should I feel flattered or offended that I’m second on the list?”

Joonghyuk shrugs. “What were you saving for, anyway?”

“I was going to get the new switch and the Omori art book.”

Joonghyuk stills. Her eyes narrow in a look Dokja is intimately familiar with.

“Give me the shirt, Joonghyuk-ah.”

“Fine, but tell Han Sooyoung that she’s a conniving snake.”

Dokja rolls her eyes. “I’ll miss you, too. It’s only a few hours.”

***

Dokja quietly slips into the house. She got held up a lot longer than she planned. It’s long last Mia’s bedtime but Joonghyuk would’ve stayed to make sure she eats dinner. The new manager at Minosoft was a taskmaster, and Dokja is seriously considering being Sooyoung’s agent. Well, maybe not that.

She pads over to the living room to set down her bag. The television flickers with a late night program. Joonghyuk is curled up on the couch, fast asleep.

Dokja smiles and kisses her forehead. She’d have taken a photo, if she wanted to die.

Joonghyuk shifts around before blinking. She squints in the low light and wrinkles her nose. Dokja stifles a laugh at the little curl sticking up.

“Hmm, your dinner is in the kitchen.”

Dokja turns off the tv. “Nice to see you too. You can head to bed, I’ll be there soon.”

Joonghyuk sighs and stands, folding the blanket before setting it in the couch. The shirt she wears hangs above her waist and rides up revealing her toned stomach. The logo folds along her chest and she clearly isn’t wearing a bra. Dokja’s mouth runs dry and she’s grateful the darkness hides her blush. Sleepy Joonghyuk with messy hair and a shirt that leaves nothing to the imagination is short-circuiting her brain. Dokja has work tomorrow, and Joonghyuk won’t let her do anything before eating. She looks at the logo again because the shirt looks familiar! Not for any other reason.

Actually, the logo is familiar.

“Is that my shirt?” It’s an old tee from her university.

“Eat your dinner.” Joonghyuk gives her a sleepy glare before leaving.

***

Dokja steps out of the shower, towel wrapped tight as she dries off. Joonghyuk has a stream tonight, so she resolves herself to catching up on her to-read list. Joonghyuk gets in “the zone,”even for chill gaming, and Dokja knows not to disturb her. She puts on her favorite socks, and digs around for her comfiest hoodie, the one with a hyper-realistic squid that Jihye claims looks like her. Dokja left it on her side of the bed, but it’s gone.

“Again?” This is getting out of hand. Joonghyuk is five inches taller and more muscular. She’s going to stretch out her clothes. Dokja walks over to Joonghyuk’s office/game room and knocks.

“Come in.”

Joonghyuk is still setting up for the stream. The cat ear headphones Sooyoung bought her are slung around her neck and she’s wearing Dokja’s squid hoodie.

“I already made you a snack or are you in another comment war?” She fiddles with her glasses.

Dokja almost smiles, but she can’t get distracted. She takes a small breath.

“Joonghyuk-ah, why do you keep stealing my clothes?”

“Why are you asking dumb questions?”

Dokja steps closer. Joonghyuk only gets defensive when she’s close to figuring out a secret. Her aura is screaming danger, and what else can Dokja do besides push?

“That’s not an answer, uri gangaji.”

Joonghyuk hunches as the tips of her ears turn pink. She pretends to clean her glasses.

Dokja cups her face and gives Joonghyuk her best puppy dog eyes look.

Joonghyuk sighs. “It…”

“Hm?”

“I like that it smells like you. It helps my anxiety.” Joonghyuk is fully blushing and she looks to the side.

Dokja fights the smile threatening to overtake her face. There are some nights where Joonghyuk holds her like a lifeline. Days where a sudden noise can set her on edge. “Okay then, but I can’t have you stealing my stuff. I’ll start taking some of yours.”

Joonghyuk looks back. “Fine.” She bends down and hugs Dokja.

“Now get out. You’re a distraction.”

[luxaofhesperides]

my body slaughterhouse

In the quiet moments in-between everything, Yoo Joonghyuk looks to Kim Dokja. Or: Yoo Joonghyuk just wants to care for Kim Dokja if only he'd stay still for a goddamn second.

joongdok, 2.7k; an orv fic about gentleness.

also on ao3, with author’s notes if you want to read that sort of thing.

. . .

Yoo Joonghyuk is not used to being soft. His hands are made for breaking things, not saving them; he has never been able to save anyone, including himself. The lives he’s lived, going back to that fateful day the world ended, have made him cold and cruel. There is a distance between him and the rest of the world that no one can cross.

He walks this world alone. He knows better than to expect anyone to keep up with him.

He knows better than to get attached.

But Kim Dokja, impossible and unpredictable, forced his way into Yoo Joonghyuk’s life and declared them companions. And suddenly Yoo Joonghyuk is not the one walking ahead of everyone else, alone; now, he chases after Kim Dokja, time after time, reaching for him, always a step behind.

Kim Dokja is here, in this regression, and that is all that matters.

 It’s quiet, tonight. There is no terrible tragedy hanging over their heads, or an enemy lying in wait for them. Tonight, they can rest.

Compared to his past regressions, everyone is lighter. They are not the same as they were before, at the beginning. No one is. But that heaviness they carried, that burden that slowly dragged them down, it’s not here.

Shin Yoosung smiles as she talks to Kim Dokja. Lee Gilyoung is relaxed on the ground, leaning back against Kim Dokja. They’re just kids, thrown headfirst into the scenarios, and Kim Dokja saved them, like he saved everyone else here. It’s no wonder they’re so attached.

Yoo Joonghyuk is too, even if he can’t bring himself to say it.

The others chat quietly in between eating. Something warms in Yoo Joonghyuk’s chest as he watches everyone enjoy his cooking. Kim Dokja too was taking time to savor his food. He was glad; he had put the best pieces on Kim Dokja’s plate.

It’s hard showing care, when he’s so used to everyone he cares for dying. It’s hard to show care when he’s the only one left in the end, and nothing he does can save them.

Kim Dokja meets his eyes; Yoo Joonghyuk had been staring for too long.

-Do you have something to say?  he asks through Midday Tryst.

-No. Go back to eating.

Kim Dokja doesn’t look like he believes him, but that doesn’t surprise him. Out of everyone, Kim Dokja knows Yoo Joonghyuk best. It still stuns him, the lengths he’ll go to ensure Yoo Joonghyuk survives.

It’s not just the world Kim Dokja intends to save, but Yoo Joonghyuk also.

So used to being to one in control, leading others and taking charge in the scenarios, it’s strange to be on the other side of that. To follow after someone else, to have faith in them to get through anything. To be willing to die to see their goals come to being.

Kim Dokja is the only one Yoo Joonghyuk would feel this way for. No one else compares.

Under his gaze, Kim Dokja flushes and ducks his head. He urges the kids to eat and does not look at Yoo Joonghyuk again.

That’s fine. Yoo Joonghyuk is satisfied with keeping Kim Dokja fed. It’s the least he can do for someone who died for him time and time again.

  “Why aren’t you sleeping,” Yoo Joonghyuk says. It’s more an accusation than a question, and perhaps that’s what makes Kim Dokja glare at him. Yoo Joonghyuk glances down at the phone Kim Dokja was so focused on, looks at its blank screen, and irritation quickly fills him.

“I wasn’t aware I had a bedtime,” Kim Dokja says, staring up at him defiantly. The circles under his eyes are dark, and will likely get even darker. For someone who always saves him, he doesn’t care for himself at all. It irks Yoo Joonghyuk.

“How do you expect to fight well if you’re too tired to function?”

“I’ll be just fine. It’s not like I need a lot of sleep in the first place.”

Yoo Joonghyuk is familiar with the urge to punch him, but it’s particularly strong at that moment. “Don’t be stupid,” he growls instead, “You’re no good to anyone when you’re exhausted. Go to sleep.”

Kim Dokja rolls his eyes. “Honestly, Yoo Joonghyuk, you’re worried over nothing. I’ve gone without sleep before, I can do it again.”

That such an infuriating man could give hope to so many others baffles him. That such an infuriating man is someone Yoo Joonghyuk is willing to die for is even more ridiculous. But this stubbornness is exactly why they’re all here today. He’s not as mad as he wants to be; he never is when it comes to Kim Dokja.

“Come,” he says, grabbing Kim Dokja’s arm, “I will make sure you sleep.”

“Yoo Joonghyuk!” He tries to pull away, but all that does is make Yoo Joonghyuk tighten his grip. “This is ridiculous! Let me go!”

He doesn’t bother answering. Instead, he drags Kim Dokja to his room and all but throws him on the bed. Kim Dokja sits up and stares at him.

“What has gotten into you lately?”

Yoo Joonghyuk considers. He wants to take care of Kim Dokja. Repay him for everything he’s doing for him, for all of them. He wants Kim Dokja to care a little more about himself, but until then, Yoo Joonghyuk is content with doing it for him. He wants to be gentle to the man who saved him, reminded him of the value of life, gave him a reason to continue on. He wants to hold Kim Dokja close so that he doesn’t die again, wants to protect him because one of these days his death will be permanent and that is the one thing Yoo Joonghyuk absolutely cannot survive.

He doesn’t know how to say all this. It gets caught in his throat, his chest. So he says nothing.

“Yoo Joonghyuk?”

Kim Dokja looks confused. Lost. There’s red in his cheeks and a tremble in his hands. It makes Yoo Joonghyuk’s heart ache.

He walks to the bed and guides Kim Dokja away from the edge. Kim Dokja lets him, watching his movement with wide eyes.

Yoo Joonghyuk climbs onto the bed, sits against the headboard, and pulls Kim Dokja to rest against his side.

“Yoo Joonghyuk?” he asks again, voice quieter, softer. Pressed against his side, with Yoo Joonghyuk’s arm around his shoulders, Kim Dokja feels vulnerable. Soft, like he might break at any moment.

Everything he feels tangles into a knot in his throat. What he wants to say won’t come out. Instead, he says, “I will stay and make sure you sleep.”

Kim Dokja stares at him for a long moment, then slowly, tentatively, relaxes against him. It feels like a testing of waters, a careful surrender.

It’s something Yoo Joonghyuk has noticed bust hasn’t given much thought. Kim Dokja doesn’t touch others easily. If he does, it’s quick and easy to miss. A hand on a shoulder, a pat on the back, here for a moment then gone in the next. He keeps a physical distance between others, save for the kids, and Yoo Joonghyuk has to wonder, has anyone really touched Kim Dokja? Held him as Yoo Joonghyuk does now, let him know the warmth of others, how grounding the weight of another can be?

This is not a question he will ever have answers to. But he does know that he is holding Kim Dokja, can feel the weight of him on his chest, not an unpleasant weight but a comforting one.

Kim Dokja turns his face into Yoo Joonghyuk’s chest. When he speaks, his voice is muffled. “If you plan to sleep here, then don’t sleep sitting up. I don’t want to hear you complaining about a sore neck tomorrow.”

He doesn’t know how much time passes, but Kim Dokja falls asleep, relaxing completely as his breath evens out. In sleep, his face is much softer. He looks younger when he’s not planning how to save everyone but himself.

The sight brings back that ache in his chest, which hurts in the most pleasant ways. How lucky he is, to have Kim Dokja in this regression. As long as he’s here, Yoo Joonghyuk will continue on. 

  Lee Jihye is brighter in this regression. She laughs more easily and is quick to tease others. It makes him wonder what she was like before the scenarios, before she killed her best friend and walked out of that school as its only survivor. It’s hard to remember that there was a before that haunts everyone here, when it’s all Yoo Joonghyuk has known for years.

She’s not as strong as she was before, but that’s alright. There are others that will help her when she needs it. All Yoo Joonghyuk has to do for her in this scenario is teach her how to fight; Kim Dokja will teach her how to live despite everything.

In this regression, Lee Jihye is still a teenage girl before she is a maritime general. There are still days she wakes up in tears, gasping her dead friend’s name, and withdraws into herself for a few hours. In past regressions, this has made her fight harder, more recklessly, uncaring of her own safety. Now, Kim Dokja watches over her carefully, speaks to her in low tones, and sends Jung Heewon to comfort her.

Yoo Joonghyuk wonders how things could have changed if he reached out a little more. Had he been less focused on clearing the scenarios and more focused on helping those around him, could they have survived?

He knows the answer, and it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. He tries not to think about it.

Lee Jihye grins when she sees him walk into the clearing they’ve claimed for training. For a moment, as she sits on the ground holding her sword, Yoo Joonghyuk sees her dead and bloodied. Then she stands and says, brightly, “Master! What are we doing today?”

Yoo Joonghyuk takes a moment to focus on the present, then says, “Start with warm ups, then do your katas fifty times. Then I’ll show you how to disarm someone without getting too close to them.”

Lee Jihye beams and gets to work. Yoo Joonghyuk observes her for a moment; she’s steadily improving, but she could be stronger. They could always be stronger, because they were are enough.

(The memory takes over: Yoo Joonghyuk, not fast enough, not strong enough, not clever enough to outwit Kim Dokja. Yoo Joonghyuk, holding Kim Dojka’s dying body, helplessly watching as he turns to dust, ejected from the Star Stream, unable to save him yet again.)

Yoo Joonghyuk makes his way to the other side of the clearing and unsheathes his sword. He, too, needs to be stronger. Strong enough to take on the constellations. Strong enough to save Kim Dokja from himself.

He trains for a few hours, teaches Lee Jihye new attacks, spars with her to let her practice. She’s the only one he found this regression; the others all gravitate around Kim Dokja. He only needs to look out of her and Mia in this regression.

Even so, Lee Jihye, like the others, turns to Kim Dokja as well. Despite how often she teases him and insists she doesn’t care for him, she is deeply affected by his deaths just as the kids are.

They stop for lunch, and Yoo Joonghyuk leaves Lee Jihye to her own devices as he considers the hidden scenarios he could go after in this area.

“Yoo Joonghyuk, come here,” Kim Dokja calls from where he waits by the door. “Are you going after the hidden items?”

He makes his way to Kim Dokja, already wary at the calculating gleam in his eyes. “I am,” he answers.

“Great! Let’s go then.”

“I don’t need you to come with me.”

“I wasn’t planning on giving you a choice.” Kim Dokja smiles, and it makes Yoo Joonghyuk want to both shove him away and pull him closer. He keeps his hands carefully still by his sides.

“I can get these on my own,” he says, knowing that would never be enough to convince Kim Dokja to let him leave alone.

“That’s not going to stop me.”

He leaves first, without looking back to see if Yoo Joonghyuk is following; he is, of course. He’s always following after Kim Dokja.

And because this is Kim Dokja, he can't go two minutes without trying to cause problems. “I’ll be getting my share of the items too, of course. Don’t expect me to guide you without expecting payment.” He smirks at Yoo Joonghyuk, waiting for him to respond.

He grabs Kim Dokja’s arm. “Pull your weight and do some of the work and I’ll let you have some.”

“Ah, always so violent, Joonghyuk-ah, can’t you have one conversation without threatening the other party?” He tries to break free of Yoo Joonghyuk’s grip, but now that he’s got Kim Dokja close, he has no reason to let go.

“What part of this is threatening?”

Kim Dokja gestures to his captured arm. “Do you not have working eyes? Most conversations don’t require such brute strength.” Yoo Joonghyuk wants to laugh at that. When has Kim Dokja ever had a normal conversation? He’s either planning something that will piss off the constellations, or antagonizing everyone around him. He avoids normal conversations as much as he can, as though speaking genuinely to someone for the sake of speaking to them will make him break out in hives.

“You can let go,” Kim Dokja tries, still trying to pull away.

Yoo Joonghyuk doesn’t bother to reply to that. He leads the way to the first hidden scenario in the area as Kim Dokja continues to struggle, then abruptly goes still, allowing the hold on his arm.

Another thing that Kim Dokja avoids: touch. Yoo Joonghyuk wants to keep him close, hold him at every opportunity, but Kim Dokja is quick to keep his distance and disappear. Even Yoo Joonghyuk has never been to physically isolated from others in past regressions. Kim Dokja seems touch starved, and that makes Yoo Joonghyuk want to touch him even more.

He slides his hand down from Kim Dokja’s arm to his wrist, and allows himself a small smile with Kim Dokja doesn’t try to pull away.

   “What are you doing out here?”

Kim Dokja’s voice is the first thing in a few hours to break the silence on the roof. Yoo Joonghyuk sits near the edge, looking out over the broken world. Everyone had been hit hard by the last scenario, and he had to escape and be alone before he drowned in his own thoughts.

It takes a long moment before he finds his voice. “I wanted some time to myself,” he answers.

Kim Dokja hums and doesn’t leave. He sits behind Yoo Joonghyuk, barely any distance between them.

“Are you thinking about everything that went wrong? Comparing this to your past regressions?”

Like always, Kim Dokja knows exactly what he’s thinking. It’s a relief that he doesn’t have to explain it when Kim Dokja already knows.

“You shouldn’t focus on what went wrong. There are too many things to go over. You should focus on the fact that we’re all still alive, and we made it through another scenario.” His voice isn’t pitying or overly gentle. Kim Dokja speaks as though this is obvious, and Yoo Joonghyuk feels some of the tension in his shoulders lighten.

“Have you already begun planning for the next scenario?”

“Of course. But we’ll go over that tomorrow, after everyone’s had some time to rest.”

There is nothing more to say for the night. Yoo Joonghyuk focuses on the sound of Kim Dokja’s breathing, and leans back just enough that their shoulders touch. It feels like a hard-won victory when Kim Dokja doesn’t startle or shy away. Instead, he leans back against Yoo Joonghyuk, pressing their backs together. A weight drops onto his shoulder; Kim Dokja’s head, tilted back so he can look up at the steadily darkening sky.

They stay until the sun sets completely.  It’s the first time he’s felt so at peace since the scenarios started.

That’s the first night Kim Dokja follows Yoo Joonghyuk to his tent and settles in besides him. He refuses to meet Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyes, tense and nervous as though he wasn’t sure he was welcome.

Yoo Joonghyuk reaches out for him.

   Kim Dokja reaches back.

[marisramblings]

Berserk

Fem!dokjoong/joongdok, yoohankim if you squint. Battle couples ⚔️ and angst

Joonghyuk throws Dokja behind her before the full brunt of the explosion hits the room. Joonghyuk stills stands when the smoke clears, but her sword clatters to the ground. Her knees buckle and Dokja barely catches her as she collapses.

No, this can’t be happening. Joonghyuk isn’t a person who falls, she stands back up and continues fighting. She doesn’t lie as still as stone. Her face doesn’t pale as blood runs in steady rivulets through Dokja’s fingers.

She knows that’s not true. Dokja has seen Joonghyuk be defeated thousands of times, body destroyed, muscles cut, but the star stream is weakened. No dokkaebi bag nor magic healing. Lee Seolhwa is in another country for a conference. Joonghyuk could die here, permanently.

“Joonghyuk—Joonghyuk!”

Dokja leans down. There’s no sound except for her thin breaths. She tears her sleeves into strips and staunches the bleeding as best she can. Joonghyuk doesn’t even flinch at the pressure.

How did this even happen? They saved the world, and people resort to terrorism? Was 20 years enough to erase the scenarios?

Their attackers burst into the room and surround them. They’re armed to the teeth. Is this how they die? This industrial complex is their home and now there are craters and burned bodies.

[‘Demon King Transformation’ is activating!]

“After all we sacrificed—“ Dokja feels her body expand, the discordant power of absolute good and evil courses through her veins. “All the pain we suffered through—“

The air shifts as her six wings, three black and three white, unfurl behind her back. Her vision sharpens and she can see the fear in the attackers’ eyes, see their pupils shrink with adrenaline.

“All of that shit, and you have the nerve to try and take her from me!”

Her voice cracks like thunder, it fills the room with a roar and the walls shake.

Dokja cradles Joonghyuk’s body close to her chest, guarding her with her lower wings.

Shots ring out, but the bullets bounce off her feathers.

[Exclusive skill, ‘Electrification’ Lv. 10 has been initiated]

Electricity dances across her body. The terrorists scramble to escape under cover fire, but debris falls, sealing their exit.

“You can just—”

A hand cups her cheek.

Dokja stops and looks down at Joonghyuk. Her eyes are barely slits and her mouth is stuck in a grimace. The hand shakes before slipping back down.

The skills deactivate. Dokja sighs.

“Get the fuck out.”

***

Sooyoung hands Dokja a cup of coffee. “You should get some sleep. In a proper bed.”

Dokja gives a small smile. “Nah.”

Sooyoung pulls a chair beside her. “Seolhwa said she’ll be fine. It’ll take more than that to kill the bastard. I should know.”

Dokja opts to remain silent and watches Joonghyuk sleep. It’s been a day and half since the terrorist attack. Seolhwa-ssi took the first flight back. Joonghyuk will be fine, she just needs to rest and avoid strenuous exercise for a few weeks.

She woke up once and quickly fell back asleep. Her skin is still pale and her hand is cold. The skin around her eyes is purple and her chest rises and falls weakly. Joonghyuk looks human and that thought hurts Dokja. Will there always be some part of her that sees Joonghyuk as a protagonist? The woman before her isn’t text on a page but real and breathing. She isn’t the hero that kept her alive but her fallible partner.

“Is this what you guys felt?” Terror tinged with sadness. The existential dread of realizing all you hold dear can disappear in an instant.

Dokja can feel Sooyoung look at her. A tense silence falls between them.

“What we felt was worse. We know that Joonghyuk will be fine. She’ll wake up.”

She already apologized to Joonghyuk, but Sooyoung has been a challenge. She sat by her bedside for years, wrote her story, and kept their constellation together through all of their pain. It’s hard not to blame herself. In fact, she does, but Dokja has learned that she can’t repay guilt with sacrifice. Her chest hurts. It took so much for her to realize that she was hurting KimCom instead of helping.

“I’m—”

“If you apologize, I’ll put you in the hospital next.”

Dokja laughs. She sets the cup on the small bedside table and takes Sooyoung and Joonghyuk’s hands. Sooyoung squeezes back.

“Thanks.”

***

This is an anthology of sorts and the series is on my ao3. Only Dokja and Joonghyuk are genderbent/swapped in my AU. There’s no set update schedule, so feel free to shoot me a request in the notes or dm.