#save me British man

[yooo-lets-go]

Good to see you again Simon

[mccartneymuse]

oh, to attend LIPA where Paul McCartney HANDS you your diploma once you graduate… he’d be dead by the time if I ever attended…

(creds to i02bee on TikTok!)

[fromthecrypt]

save me 3 million+ year old hologram with the moral backbone of a chocolate éclair save me

[flapjacksboi]

Shit shit shit I've (finally) been getting into tma over the past couple days and I was already headcanoning Jon as ace but ITS FUCKIN CANON???????

My ace-dar is so fucking good lmfao

This is the best news I've received this pride month, tma is all my favourite things, asexual people, horror, need I mention ASEXUAL PEOPLE AND HORROR

[alsosprachvelociraptor]

pc Timmy is the funniest character to draw!! i love his design so much

[dullahandyke]

casting magic spells on myself to find something appealing in my pantry

[chaoswillcalmusdown]

watched the kingsman films with my mother which has led to me being really annoyed with guy ritchie bc it's all his fucking fault

[h0t-p1nk-ch33tah-pr1nt]

I need to draw hobie with different hairstyles..... Kath doing his hair......

[gone2soon-rip]

Martin Lee (1946-2024)

[artisticethan]

Currently submerging myself in comfort content that I’ve loved since I was 13 to keep the depression at bay

[edelbloed]

⠀⠀⠀ONE ⠀of the many marvels to be found here was the readiness with which one could have just about any food to complement any meal. Breakfast, for example, would be readily available according to the preferences of any given continent — along with those she's never set foot in, be they regions or entire new universes. This proved to provide its own share of difficulty, though; while not opposed to doing her own legwork, it was admittedly a tad daunting to have so many options practically at her fingertips. Something she normally wouldn't think twice about became an entirely different affair... but that's what good manners were for, yes ?

⠀⠀⠀❛ ⠀Pardon me,⠀ ❜ ⠀⠀Dorothea calls to a particular man — impeccably dressed, with an air that suggested he may be a man caught between her time and the present day. ⠀❛ ⠀Do you drink coffee ? Tea, perhaps ? I was wondering which cafes were especially noteworthy... predictably, each one claims to have 'the best on the island'.⠀ ❜ ⠀

⤷ @bakerstreetdetective : s.c.

[sunflowers-and-sweetviolets]

i promise to be normal again one day, but that won't be anytime soon

for the meantime, Fraser <3

[its-chips-main]

group wailing abt boatem starts in 10 minutes btw

[kizzer55555]

What if we change it up a little? Beings do not have a natural crime multiplier, instead, they gain it from prison breaks. So Walker’s card could look something like this. When he is on the field, he adds a list of ‘rules’. The first being something like lying about a rune, taking an artifact/object that was unequipped from an opponent while within line of sight of Walker or his goons, or possibly framed for a crime like if they land on a trap card. (Maybe even a card called ‘crime of convenience’ where if you pass by or land on this dud card within line of sight of Walker or his goons, you are framed for a crime so a hood strategy could be to place a police goon by that card or something). And then Walker can add a new rule of their choice every turn as long as it does not interfere with the game mechanics (so you can’t say stuff like if you don’t follow this rule, I win the game. Or if you don’t tap your deck, your character takes 10 damage). When you are caught not following a rule, you gain a crime counter.

Anyways, the crime counters can either make Walker stronger or force someone into jail (if Walker’s jail is on the field, which could probably be a location). Basically, the amount of crime counters you have determines what happens. Maybe Walker gets +10 to his attack and +1 will for every being with a crime counter on them (regardless of numbers). If Walker defeats someone while his jail in on the field, then instead of sticking them in a thermos, he sends them to that location. Anyone besides Walker and his goons (or a human) gets stuck in that location of they pass through it or land there, or if they transport there in a natural portal. And since the win condition is ‘capture all ghosts’ it counts even if a ghost isn’t in a thermos. So for example, if Pariah Dark hadn’t been summoned yet and is still in his coffin, or if a ghost is in ‘jail’ that counts as ‘captured’. Anyways, the ghost are now in jail but since they aren’t in a thermos, they can try to get out. To escape

There could probbaly be a few ways this could happen. Maybe there’s a jailbreak card, or they can use one of their movements and make a roll, if they get the highest roll (or just a high roll). Or maybe they and their oponent both roll and if you roll higher than your oponent (or tie?) you escape? Or maybe they could try attacking the prison? (Or a Halfa could just transform into a human and then are no longer affected and can leave the location.) I’ll decide how escape is possible later. What matters is that once a ghost escapes, they gain a crime multiplier. They all start out with a multiplier of 1. First escape gets a 2, second escape gets a 3 and so on. And the more crimes you have, the easier it is to get caught again. (And maybe Walker could get something like for every 3 crimes, he Gaines +10 attack and +1 will? Maybe not though.) But basically how it works is that of you have 1-3 crimes, Walker or his goons have to defeat your being to send them to jail (only works on ghosts though. Humans just get sent to the graveyard.). If you have 4-7 crimes, Walker doesn’t need to defeat you. He can roll, and of it’s higher than your will, you are automatically sent to jail. (and I’m debating if humans just aren’t affected or if they can still be transported to the jail, they can just leave it unlike ghosts. So a strategy could be to put traps or curses around the jail?). And if you have 8-10 crime counters, then if the attacker has a higher Will than their opponent (which is Walker the more crimes others commit) then any prison personal can just outright attack you and you are sent to jail. If their will is lower, they still need to roll higher than the oponent’s will and they do 10 extra damage if an attack lands (effective against human opponents). And if it’s 11 or more crime counters, then it starts a manhunt and all prison personal gain a free movement per turn as long as it’s in the direction of an escaped prisoner.

DP x DC: The Most Dangerous Card Game

Ok so Danny has essentially claimed earth as his. And he is fully aware that there are constant threats to the planet. Now he can’t stop a threat that originates on earth (that’s something he’ll leave to the Justice league) but he can do something about outside threats. Doing some research on ancient spells, rituals, and artifacts, he cast a world wide barrier on the planet to protect it from hostile threats so they cannot enter. This will prevent another Pariah Dark incident. However, barriers like this come at a price. You see, there are two ways to make a barrier. Either make one powered up by your own energy and power (which would be constantly draining) or set up a barrier with rules. The way magic works is that nothing can be absolutely indestructible. It must have a weakness. The most powerful barriers weren’t the ones reinforced with layer after layer of protective charms and buffed up with power. Those could eventually be destroyed either by being overpowered, wearing them down, or by cutting off the original power source. No, the most powerful barriers were the ones with a deliberate weakness. A barrier indestructible except for one spot. A cage that can only be opened from the outside. Or that can only be passed with a key or by solving a riddle. So Danny chooses this type of barrier and does the necessary ritual and pours in enough power to make it. And he adds his condition for anyone to enter. 

Now the Justice league? Find out about the barrier when Trigon attempts to attack, they were preparing after he threatened what he would do once he got to earth. How he would destroy them. The Justice league tried to take the fight to him first but were utterly destroyed, so they retreated home to tend to their injuries, and fortify earth for one. Last. Stand. Only when Trigon makes his big entrance…he’s stopped.

The Justice league watch in awe as this thin see-through barrier with beautiful green swirls and speckled white lights like stars apears blocking Trigon and his army’s advance. The barrier looks so thin and fragile yet no matter how hard the warlord hits, none of his attacks can get through and neither can he damage said barrier. That’s when Constantine and Zatanna recognizes what this barrier is. Something only a powerful entity could create. For a moment, the league is filled with hope that Trigon can’t get through yet Constantine also explains that it’s not impenetrable. And clearly Trigon knows this too for he calls out a challenge. 

And that’s when, in a flash of light, a tiny glowing teenager appears. He looked absolutly minuscule compared to Trigon and yet practically glowed with power (this isn’t a King Danny AU though).

And that is when the conditions for passing the barrier are revealed. And the Justice realize that the only thing stopping Trigon and his army from decimating earth. The only way he can get through….is by beating this glowing teenager in a card game. 

Not just any card game though. The most convoluted game Sam, Danny, and Tucker invented themselves. It’s like the infinite realms version of magic the gathering, combined with Pokémon, and chess. And Danny is the master. So sit down Trigon and let’s play.

(The most intense card game of the Justice league’s life).

After Danny wins, this happens a few more times with outer word beings and possibly even demons attempting to invade earth, yet none have been able to beat the mysterious teenager in a card game. Constantine might even take a crack at it and try to figure out how to play. He’s really bad though. Every time this happens, the Justice league worry that this might be the time the teenager looses. Yet every time, he wins (even if only barely). 

Meanwhile, Danny, Sam, and Tucker have gotten addicted to the game and play it almost daily. Some teachers might seem them playing the game are are like ‘awww how cute’ not realizing this game is literally saving the world. Jazz is just happy they aren’t spending as much time on their screens playing Doomed.

[toimonamourmonami]

Is this what they mean when then call us the marijuana province

[cosmic-dust-poltergeist]

Pt 4 of forever teen Danny adopted JJ Tim and Red Hood Jason. Sorry if you're a Batman or Nightwing fan, I'm not nice to them in this one.

[Pt3: Here][pt5: here]

The last 4 years have been a riot. Danny has 2 wonderful and slightly unhinged boys that he stole from the Bats. They've gotten in so many shenanigans, between normal vigilante shit, the Bats and/or ghost/supernatural hunters trying to bag them, and them just fucking around.

It's the most fun he's had in a while. They're good kids, but they, of course, have started branching out. They're 19 (Jason) and 17(Tim) now and don't necessarily want their dad following them around. So Danny gave them his personal summons just in case and made them promise to stay close together, the two of them are good at covering for the other's weaknesses. Like how Tim only being Liminal, he can take more hits from the ghost hunters that will clock Jason as a Revenant or Jason's supernatural strength taking out the bigger assholes that target Tim for his small size or Joker mannerisms.

So he tries not to worry, simply going to work and trusting them to either deal with any trouble themselves or summon him. And for 3 months they don't need to summon him once. But at the end of month 3, he feels it.

"Hey, Eddy! I got to go! My kids are in trouble!" Danny calls to his boss, already moving to somewhere there's less witnesses to see him poof.

"Okay! See ya! ...Wait, you have kids?" Danny doesn't answer, letting the summons take ahold and pull him through the fabric of reality.

A fun side effect of being summoned is that he always ends up in his High King form. The form is humanoid in the vaguest of sense. It's also just stars and the void of space. His eyes are giant stars and his mouth is too wide and full of rows and rows of needle-like teeth. A crown of ice smokes like dry ice on his head and the ring of rage is simple stripe of neon green on his right hand's middle finger (he thought it'd be funny to flip people off with it). All in all, he's terrifying for mortals to see unprepared.

And the cussing around him tells the people hassling his sons are NOT prepared.

"HOW THE FUCK DID YOU SUMMON THE GHOST KING???" A very distraught British man shrieks. Danny would feel bad, but this idiot is standing near the Bat and Nightwing AND Danny's sons are tied up in front of them.

"DAaaaAD!" Tim whines, flopping over to look at him. "They're trying to excorise Hoodie!"

"Are they now?" Danny hisses. His voice sounds like glaciers crashing together.

"Bats! What the fuck??? You didn't tell me THAT WAS THEIR DAD!" British man sounds on the brink of a mental breakdown.

"We've never seen this entity." Batman frowns.

"Yeah! They've been calling a ghost kid dad this whole time!" Nightwing defends. "How were we supposed to know they could summon this guy??"

"What...what did you say the "kid"'s name was?" British dude asks faintly.

"We didn't." Batman says.

"Weeell, Johnny-boy!" Jason sounds like he has a shit eating grin. "What they didn't tell you is our sweet ol' adoptive father is called Phantom~!"

"Oh goodie! We're so dead..." "Johnny" says and starts chugging his flask of probably alcohol. It suddenly clicks that this is the fabled John Constantine.

"You should know better than to take a job half-assed, John Constantine." Danny grins with teeth.

"Oh good, he knows my name.." Constantine mumbles to himself.

"Give me one good reason to not kill you all for trying to kill my son and kidnap the other." Danny waves a hand and slices his sons' bindings. "I have only been so patient with you bats because my sons are fond of you, but my patience is running out."

"Tim belongs with us! He needs help and healing!" Nightwing proclaims.

"I talk to a licensed therapist twice a week and take my meds every day! Try again, Big Birdie!!" Tim snarls. "Just because I'm not what you want me to be doesn't mean I'm a broken doll in need of saving!"

"Besides, don't you have a new bird to destroy?" Jason asks with a head tilt. "The second birdie died, the third got mentally fucked, the four died... I think we can count birdie #1 as mentally fucked up, meaning if we follow the pattern, birdie #5 will be mentally fucked by the time he flies the nest."

"How do you know so much about us, Red Hood?" Batman demands with a scowl.

"He doesn't have to tell you anything!" Tim steps in front of Jason and glares.

"I'm still waiting on a reason to not kill you." Danny reminds them. The bats look towards Constantine.

"Don't look at me, mates. That's head bitch of all head bitches. The fact he's letting you plead your case after threatening what he deems as his is a step up huge from most overpowered dead guys. From what I heard, the last guy would have just killed us the moment he was summoned and then destroyed the whole dimension afterwards. This guy beat that guy in single combat." Constantine pulls out a cigarette before addressing Danny, "Your Majesty, I had no idea these were your kids. I was just told a Revenant had kidnapped and "brainwashed" the ex-Robin. Clearly, I wasn't told accurate information."

Nightwing sputters, "What Do You Mean?? Clearly Tim has been brainwashed or something!!"

Constantine whips around to Nightwing, "Oh shut up, you big blue twit! King Phantom DESPISES mind control! Which means your ex-bird is with these two completely willingly."

"There's n-" Nightwing tries, but Constantine bulldozes on.

"I don't know what you did to the kid, nor do I care. But he's considered ROYALTY to the dead and undead now. He doesn't have to have ANYTHING to do with you. If you take him away from his new and apparently accepting family, that's considered an interdimensional crime, and no magician or supernatural or even god-like being will help you." Constantine takes a long drag of his cigarette. "I suggest you apologize, make your excuses, then leave them the fuck alone. Besides, crime has been at a record low in Gotham from what I hear. Let them do what they want. "

"That's because Red Hood keeps killing the Rouges!" Nightwing protests. "Who gives him the right to be judge, jury, and executioner???"

Constantine points to Danny and says flatly. "The ruler of basically everything, that's who."

Danny grins at him, his ghost half is very pleased with the man. "I shall spare you, magic man."

Constantine looks like he's going to faint from relief, moving to park himself by the door. "Just fucking apologize and leave them be, Bats."

"But!" Nightwing looks like he's going to cry. He turns his teary eyes to Tim. "Why can't you just come home, Timmy?"

"What home?" Tim stares down his nose at Nightwing, anger clear in his voice. "The Manor was Never my home. I was simply the stand in for your and B's grief for a boy you both pushed to his death. Phantom showed me what family really was. And that was AFTER I was too broken for you to accept. I was NOT Joker Junior then or now. I'm my own fucking person and I'm staying with the family that accepts me for ALL my oddities."

"You tried to put him in Arkham when he tried to go to you." Red Hood growls. "He wanted your support and help and you were going to lock him up and throw away the key."

"We were n-"

"YOU WERE!" Tim starts to trembling in hurt and rage. "You couldn't even look at me! I wanted you so badly to help me and you were going to put me in there right next to Harley! I wanted you to be my family, but I've only ever been a tool to you!"

"You weren't-" Danny doesn't like how the Bats seem ready to jump at his kids, so he freezes the Bats' feet to the floor.

"Shut up, Dickwing." Jason snarls, pulling Tim into a hug. "You lost your chance to be his brother 4 years ago. Go pretend to care about the new cannon fodder. We don't want to hear it."

"Hood." Batman finally speaks. "Who are you?"

"Who do you think, old man?" Jason takes his hood off for the first time ever in front of the Bats. They visibly startle, recognizing him despite all the changes.

"Ja-" The Bat starts.

"Shut up." Jason glares. "You were a shit dad and brother to me in life. I found the BEST family in death."

Danny picks up his boys, deciding to let them decide on the severity of the Bats' punishment. "Maiming or death?"

"... I say maim, but only because I know the newest bird and want him to stay out of the death cult his mother's in." Jason says softly. The Bats sqawk as they Just realize Danny froze their feet to the floor. Mortal tools and fire can't break/melt his ice, but it's amusing to watch the bats try.

Tim is quiet for nearly 3 whole minutes, locked in some sort of internal battle, before he answers. "Maim in a, at least mostly, healable way. Gotham needs Batman, even if we don't."

"Hmm." Danny ignores the Bats' protests to think about what he should do. "Ah! I know exactly what to do!"

He unfreezes their feet and gently forces both to the ground and processes to break both of Nightwing's legs and both of Batman's arms. He pulls one of their coms off and hands it to Tim, he's the only one that sounds normal on normal tech. Jason hasn't been able to use normal tech since Danny fixed his ecto, so Danny modifies anything he or Jason use.

"Hi, Agent A! Batgirl!" Tim's cheerful tone barely hides his seething rage. "You should send a pick up for Dickiebird and B-man! They need medical attention! Ba-bye~!"

Danny can hear the shouting over the com, but Tim simply yeets it towards the Bats instead of listening to whatever they have to say.

"I have a reason for the injuries I picked." Danny informs the room. Jason and Tim look intrigued, Constantine looks exhausted and slightly guilty about the Bats getting hurt on his watch, and the Bats themselves look dazed and in pain, so who knows if they'll remember his reasonings. "Nightwing is an acrobat and truly a bird, so grounding him is cruel, but hopefully he feels as small and helpless as you both did. Grounding him will give him time to think on his actions and their consequences."

Danny's sons look curiously at the grounded Nightwing before looking back to him.

"I broke Batman's arms so that he's forced to ask for help and communicate. He's far too old for his shitty behavior." Danny frowns. "They both need therapy, but I doubt the flying furries will actually get the help they need."

Tim suddenly cackles in delight. "Maybe THEY should check THEMSELVES into Arkham! Ya know! Since they think I, the one ACTUALLY getting help, should be in there!"

Jason starts cackling alongside his brother while Danny chuckles.

"I shall take my children home now, good day." Danny says while wrapping his sons in his invisibility and intangibility and takes them home. A cozy 3 bedroom apartment on the top floor of a building Jason owns as Red Hood.