#sassy virgil

[firewolf111]

Prompt from @jesterbilly : Side helping Roman with a skid knee

Roman: -and the Dragon swiped at me and knocked me off a cliff then-

Virgil: *cleaning Roman's knee with the first aid kit* You tripped over your own foot. I was literally there. I watched it happen.

Roman: *spluttering* What?! Blasphemy! You try to wound my pride?!

Virgil: Well, at least I'm not trying to wound your knee. Now shush. You lost to the floor. Your pride and dignity are dead.

[princeysanders]

he wasn't having anyone's bs

[gorewound]

I love showing people The House That Jack Built. It's like the most movie I've ever seen packed into a single film and it has so much going on I've literally always had a deep conversation immediately after the viewing, every time.

It's also like basically impossible to give a description of it that prepares anyone in any way to actually watch the thing.

"It's about a serial killer" yeah but that's like barely set dressing.

"It's a deconstruction of art production" that's entirely ignoring the constructive artistry that permeates the whole thing.

"An insufferable dude spends two and a half hours failing to mansplain how he is in fact totally sufferable and actually a genius" okay this one is fairly solid now that I think it through.

[bumpscosity]

I was one of the first people to draw grady so I figured i should get out a stirling drawing asap too. also a sketchy virgil with some quite frankly bizarre porportions bc hes the blorbo of all time

[sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes]

What if Virgil used to be super loud and extra like the other dark sides but being in the videos in an unfamiliar environment with sides he didn't hang around with at all (and Thomas) made him like code switch to be more quiet and this dark angsty act became closer and closer to his real self as being treat like a nuisance and villain made him lose his dark side-esque confidence

In other words Virgil coming back from a video and the other 3 darks are like dude what's wrong why are you so quiet and standoffish all of a sudden????

Random thought: in Taking On Anxiety, Virgil acts much more like a typical villain or "dark side", he's confident and laid back throughout the episode. In the end card for the video he's like "if I didn't convince Thomas not to go to that party something bad could've happened" and Roman's like, "yeah he could've had fun or smth," Virgil responds to that with a loud and confident "YEAH!" before going "wait what," my new headcanon is that that's how he used to talk and act when he was hanging around Janus, Remus and Orange pre-canon, or that's how they used to talk and he's copying them (or both), he wasn't expecting a contradiction like that because he's lived around people who acted like that his whole life

The whole, "I just wanted to look out for him so I made him do it" makes me think of Janus specifically, which fills my momceit heart, imagine Virgil looking up to and copying him before they fell out

[part-time-zombie]

Something I feel the need to point out:

Imo, virgil isn't really all that angsty. Anxiety was.

Anxiety was sassy and snarky and rude, but he was clearly just doing his job and putting on an act to seem tougher than he was.

Because once his role was critiqued, he became defensive.

Deep down, though, the rude comments stuck with him.

Watching the older videos and seeing the slow demise of his confidence really made his ducking out seem like an inevitability.

He was just doing his job, and it hurt to feel like his work wasn't appreciated, but the second the others showed that they accepted him and wanted him around, he started to open up and drop the act because he didn't need to keep his own guard up anymore.

Now, as Virgil, he isn't like this anymore because he feels like he can be himself around everyone without getting hurt.

[energetically-exhausted]

the famILY according to the sides in the 5 year anniversary episode!

we got Sh!t-Talking Sassy Aunt Janus, Fresh-Outta-Jail Uncle Remus, Gay Emo Cousin Virgil, Mom Logan, Hotshot Son Roman, and Dad Patton!!

(my best friend suggested i doodled them like this in the style i'm trying out!)

@thatsthat24

[wjhik]

Any More? (Virgil Van Dijk) *Smut*

A/N: we need more big virg writers because this is criminal

based on:

7:40-8:05

Y/N’s POV: 

“So, any more kids on the way?” My aunt asks me. Virgil and I are visiting my family at my mom's house, and, as per usual, my auntie is interrogating me. “Auntie, I just had a baby a year and a half ago. No harm in taking a break.” I say, juggling our youngest daughter in my arms while reaching for her pacifier. “Don’t you want to try for a boy?” I roll my eyes at that comment. Virgil and I are more than happy with our 3 girls. I simply shrug at her, attempting to ignore her old ways. “Wouldn’t you love a boy to carry on your legacy, Virgil?”, referring to his football career. I look at Virgil, waiting for his answer. “Anything my sons could do, my daughters can as well.” He calmly explains, quickly shutting down her bogus remarks. 

↭

“Kids, come on. We have to go.” I say to my two older girls. “No, mama! Can we stay over? Please??” The oldest begs. “Please, mama. Everyone is staying over with Teta (grandma), can we too??” My secondborn says. I look at Virgil, expecting some backup. “Hey, maybe it’s not such a bad idea. The baby is already asleep, why wake her up?” Virgil says. I look over to my lastborn who is asleep on my mom’s couch. I look up in both frustration and contemplation. “Y/N, they’re more than welcome to stay over.” My mom chimes in. I look down at my daughters looking up at me with pleading eyes. I look to my right to see my husband looking down at me, something behind his eyes that I can’t pinpoint. I look to my left to see my mom playing with the other kids. 

“Alright, fine.” I say which is followed by an eruption of screams and cheers from my daughters then followed up by shushing from my husband, pointing to their sleeping younger sister. 

↭

“Bye, babygirls. I love you and be good!” I say as Virgil ushers me out of my childhood home. We walk down the driveway as Virgil goes on about his day, upcoming games, his co-captaincy with Trent, etc as I listen. He opens the car door of his Mercedes and helps me in. 

“So, first night away from the girls. How do you feel?” Virgil asks me, breaking our comfortable silence. “I’m more nervous for my mom, to be fair. You know how tired we get with 3 girls. Imagine what my mom’s going through with 8 of them.” I joke. “I’m sure she’ll be fine. I mean, she raised you.” Virgil replies. “Yeah, but I was the only girl in my family.” I say. “I’m sure you alone were worse than those 8 girls.” I quickly smack Virgil’s chest with the back of my hand, which was previously resting in his, on my lap. “Hey, I’m driving! That’s a hazard.” I roll my eyes at my far too sassy husband.  

↭

“Sweetheart, we’re home.” I hear as I’m shaken awake. “Hmm? Okay, I’m up.” I say groggily. I throw my arms up in a stretch, unknowingly hitting my husband in the face. “Oh, shit. I’m sorry, Virg.” I say, laughing as he rubs his eyes. 

“The house feels odd empty and quiet. It’s as if we don’t have 3 ticking time bombs in bed.” I comment, making my way up the stairs with Virgil following close behind. “It’s almost like that’s what it is.” Virgil retorts. I look down at him and stuck my tongue out playfully. I turn my head to look in front before I feel a grab on my ass. I slightly jump as I hear a deep giggle from below me. 

↭

Virgil and I are lying in bed together after performing our nightly routines. Virgil has his head in my lap as I sat up and braid his hair, engrossed in the snobby activities of the Dubai Bling cast (best reality show idgaf). “Can you believe Ebrahem? He’s doing way too much.” I comment. (guys i love this show you dont understand. You should all watch it) “Baby?” I heard Virgil say. “Hmm?” I replied. “Let’s do something fun.” He comments. “Hmm? Oh, yeah sure.” I say absentmindedly, focused on my show. Virgil reaches over for the TV remote and turns it off. “HEY!” Virgil is taken aback by my volume and tone of voice. “Sorry, but what the fuck? It was getting so good.” I say. “Did you hear me?” Virgil says. “What did you say?” I ask, taking a sip of my wine. “I said let’s have some fun.” Virgil says suggestively. He sits up and takes the wine out of my hand. He reaches over to my side table and flicks off the lamp, leaving only the recently installed LEDs in our room on. Virgil leans over me and pulls me into a heated kiss. I lowly moan into my husband’s skilled lips. “Hold on.” He says, pulling away. 

Virgil reaches around for his phone. He quickly connects it to our built-in and extremely overpriced home sound system he insisted we needed and plays our shared sex playlist which, unfortunately, we haven’t been able to use nearly enough, having to keep quiet due to our daughters.  

I look up at my husband who is now on top of me. “Seriously?” I say questioning his choice of music. “What? You like it and you know it.” He says as he leans in to kiss me once again. “Mmh, Virg…” I say in between kisses. “What do you need, mama?” He whispers into my ear. “You.” I whisper back. He gets off me and takes off his shirt and leans back in to kiss me. I run my nails up and down his sides which makes him shiver. Virgil slowly kisses down my chin, onto my neck. He sucks on the sensitive spot behind my ear. “Oh, fuck. Virg…” I mewl, grabbing onto his hair, loosely tied, contrary to his slicked-back look during the day. I feel him release his suction on my neck and give my fresh bruise a light kiss. 

Virgil slides himself down my body to where I need him most. He undoes my house robe to reveal me in my panties. He taps my hips, signaling me to lift them up so he can take off my clothes. He comes back up and starts sucking on my nipple, rolling the other in his hand. “Fuck, you’re so beautiful.” He says into me. “Virgil, please. I need you.” I say, my chest heaving. I sit up underneath him, and he gets off me. I pull him to sit on the bed while I get on the carpeted floor, in between his legs. “Can I?” I ask him, pressing on his hard-on through his sweatpants. He lets out a light laugh at me still asking him every single time, without fail, despite all the years together. “Of course, sweetheart.” With his permission, I pull his trousers and underwear down, enough for his dick to spring out at me. 

I let out a sigh as I looked at my husband's horse-cock. (lol im so funny) Virgil grabs the back of my head gently and looks down at me. “Well, go on then, love.” He says encouragingly. I slowly sink my mouth onto him as he groans. I try to go as deep as I can without gagging, however it is inevitable. My eyes start watering as I’m slobbering over Virgil's dick. He pulls me off him and holds my chin up. He leans down and kisses me before pushing me down on him. I bob my head on his dick and suck on his tip, earning a hearty moan from Virgil. “Fuck, love, you keep going like that we’re gonna be done real soon.” He says, pulling me up. 

I climb up my abnormally big husband and give him a sloppy kiss and move to kiss his neck. He gently grabs my neck and makes me face him. I stare into his eyes, very obviously drunk off his dick. I let out a giggle and kiss him more. He grabs me and places me on the bed and turns me onto my stomach. I hear him ridding himself of his remaining clothes behind me. Before I know it, one of his hands lands on my ass, making me yelp. He laughs and leans down to kiss me. I turn my head back and our lips meet. He pulls away and opens the drawer next to our bed. He pulls out a bottle of lube we often use when having sex and squeezes it in his hand. He strokes his dick with it, getting it wet. Then, squeezes some directly onto me, knowing that I like how it feels against me. I hiss at the feeling. “Mmm, it’s cold…” I say. “I know, baby.” Virgil says, lining himself up with me. 

He pushes into me as I let my head drop into the pillow. “Mmm, Fucckkk…” Virgil moans. “You’re so big, Virgil.” I say, clinging onto my husband’s arm, which is propping him up. “Can I-” I quickly interrupt him. “Yes, please. Please fuck me.” He lets out a laugh. “Always so needy for me.” He starts thrusting in and out at a brutal pace. I let out all sorts of erotic noises before I put my hand over my mouth to silence myself. Virgil quickly notices this. “Hey, I wanna hear all those pretty noises. There’s no girls, you don’t have to be quiet.” He reminds me. I remove my hand from my mouth and let myself feel good. 

“Fuck, Virg- I’m gonna cum..” I say, my voice shaking as he pounds into me. “Hmm, already?” He teases. “Viirrrgg!” I half moan half yell. “I’m just kidding. Cum for me, sweetheart. I wanna feel you around me.” He encourages me through my orgasm. “Fuck, I’m close too, baby.” He says, as he relentlessly fucks me, searching for his high. Just as I feel him beginning to spasm, something hits me. “Wait, Virgil. Pull ou-” But I was too late. Virgil fucked me down from his high. He collapsed into my back. “Virg, get off. I can’t breathe.” I laugh. 

↭

Virgil is resting on my chest after he cleaned us up. “Hey, maybe your aunt is right. Another wouldn’t hurt.” He says. “Oh, so that was your ulterior motive.” I say disappointedly. “Virgil pokes me in my side, knowing I’m not serious. “I’m just kidding. I would love to have another baby with you.” 

A/N: always happy with domestic smuts 😋😋

[american-lfc-mom]

100% agree with the choices above

fuck this is TOUGH.

table B would gimme the best laughs a my LIFE. i'd walk outta there with the inability to feel my stomach n the need to be put on oxygen from laughing so hard

but table A is like free therapy. the hugs i get from thet table would be enough to make me mentally well again. like i would probly actually start practicing self care. i'd walk away from that table a better woman

[snowseasonmademe]

I wanna know is who is your ultimate celeb husband because it seems like you have a lot of sides and not a main one😂

this is a great question :) let’s break everyone into boyfriends and husbands and then pick the top one for each.

rules:

everyone is starting at a 20/20 bc they all meet the base requirements for each category

the points given and taken are based off of vibes, zodiac signs, their looks, and what i know of them and their personalities.

enjoy ;)

————————————————————————

husbands (requirements: be 12+ years older than me, be fine, be from any other country than the u.s., be black, have tattoos)

lewis 🥇 (39/20) - im gonna be extremely nice and disregard the dog video i just saw. +5 points for the tats .and he’s hot for a shorty so +1 for that. very good style +3. +2 bc he’s an earth sign but -1 cause cap men are just horrible. but +3 for his accent (it’s questionable sometimes, he may or may not be american sometimes idk). he’s the goat so +6.

damson (35/ 20) - phenomenal actor +5. sexy ass accent +3. funny +2. +2 points for having good music taste. +3 points bc he’s a fellow earth sign.

skepta (18/20) - okay so he’s a rapper and lord knows they aren’t faithful so automatic -12 for that. adding back +3 for the tats. he’s my favorite uk rapper so +4 for that. great style +2 more. i also really like his voice to +1.

virgil (14/20) - yall know a love a water sign but he’s had a history of infidelity so the water sign points cancel out. so -12 for that. but +3 for the tats. the marriage and kids ruin my daydreams so -3 more for that. very great player/captain so +4. +2 bc he has a fine pair of legs in him.

~~~~~~~~~~

boyfriends (requirements: be 2-5 years older than me, be fine, be an athlete)

aurélien🥇 (43/20) - my first french boyfriend. +4 for being the first in addition to the +5 for being french. body is *chef’s fucking kiss* delectable +5. is the oldest +2. loves american more than i do +1. can play the piano +1. -1 bc his style is a bit off sometimes. adding the 2 back for having a good dog (that he doesn’t eat off of). family man +4.

jude (41/20) - my first ever soccer bf +5. godly body +3. i like his accent +3. carries his team +4. gives us content +1. momma’s boy -2 (no shade but that usually doesn’t end well). on that same notes, family man +3. cancer +2. likes to kiss and hug +2 lol.

jules (36/20) - my second french boyfriend. +5 for being french. +3 for his perfect chest. +4 for the impeccable style. his nose is really cute so +1 for that. pretty eyes +2. actually gives us content +1.

ibou (34/20) - most recent addition to my french bfs. +5 for being french. i love his teeth +3. juicy legs +4. funny +2. serious about his faith and i think it’s really cute +1. gemini tax -1.

klay (31/20) - although he is 15 years older than me he didn’t have tats so he’s here and not there. also he just doesn’t give me husband, yk? my favorite basketball player of all time +5. funny +3. can be an air head sometimes -1. but weirdly smart +2. thinks aquarius is a water sign -1. can drive a boat +3.

levi (30/20) - has tats +3. sassy -2. always gives boyfriend unintentionally all the time +4. i like his accent +3. (i think i need to watch more chelsea games y’all bc i feel like i should have more for him). his name is absolutely top tier +2. (100% moanable)

note: this took me absolutely way to damn long omggg. but let me say i didn’t expect lewis to win the husbands honestly, i thought it would be damson. and i didn’t think levi would rank so low. i need to get more into him fr. let me know where i should take away or add any points and feel free to do this in the comments or on your blogs with your husbands and boyfriends 💋.

[firewolf111]

I hope you’re having a good day! Might I request some good old-fashioned Prinxiety? Potentially a confession? I’ve been thinking of them since the new Asides dropped!

Sorry for such a late response. My motivation really tanked. But I finally got to it. (Hope you still remember this request)

Thank you so much for the request! Hope you enjoy! <3

........................

Roman: Virgil! I need you to listen to this!

Virgil: Listen to what?

Roman: I made a song for each of the sides. Here, I'll send you yours. *getting in his phone* And there! I just sent you it.

Virgil: *shrugging and putting on his headphones before pressing play*

It plays for only a minute before he is pausing it and looking up at Roman in confusion.

Virgil: Roman....this is a love song?

Roman: What?

Virgil: This song is a love song.

Roman: Oh....really? Shoot. I...uh...gave you the wrong one. I... I'm sorry.

Virgil: It's whatever. So, who was this song for?

Roman: ...

Virgil: I won't tell. Promise. And I won't judge either. I'm just curious.

Roman: How much of the song did you listen to?

Virgil: About a minute. Why?

Roman: Did you... actually listen to the lyrics?

Virgil: Yeah. It was you singing about how much you love him. One of the lines was about you loving him despite the fact that you think his love of spiders is weird and some other thi- wait. Wait. Hold up. *his eyes widen in realization*

Roman: *laughing* Was it not obvious? Virge. The song title is literally "Lovesong for Virgil" because I never got around to naming it.

Virgil: *looking at his phone* Okay. Listen. In my defense, I wasn't expecting it to be a love song.

Roman: *looking away and rubbing the back of his neck* Neither was I. I meant it when I said I gave you the wrong song. I..uh. *clears throat* Yeah...

Virgil: So I'm not the only idiot who didn't read the song title?

Roman: To be fair, I named each song after the side I wrote it for so I could tell them apart more easily. I just... had two... written for you....

Virgil: Huh. Okay. Um... cool. Do you... want to send me the other one?

Roman: Nope. I'd rather go curl up in my room and let a hydra eat me than acknowledge that this just happened. *starts walking away*

Virgil: *mumbling* Well, now you're starting to sound like me.

Virgil: *calling out* Roman wait! The answer is yes.

Roman: *pausing and glancing back confused* What?

Virgil: *shrugging* Last line of the first verse. *Goes back on his phone*

Roman goes back to his room confused. He sits on his bed, both anxious about the fact that Virgil knows and confused by what he meant. "The answer is yes?" What does that mean? Last line of the first verse. Roman roots through his drawer to find where he wrote down the lyrics since he can't remember what that line is despite being the one to write it. Ask any Disney song and he could loet any line, but the one song he needed to remember, that he wrote, he couldn't. He eventually finds the paper and skims it to find the line. He reads it. Then rereads it. The answer is yes. The answer is yes!

"If I were to confess, would you be mine?"

The answer was yes!

.......................... (dramatic time skip)

A few minutes later has him pounding on Virgil's door.

Roman: Seriously! Did you just go to your room to spite me? You were in the living room five minutes ago!

Virgil: *cackling from the other side of the door*

Roman: Really? You can't just say that and then hide. Come on! *whining* That's not fair.

Virgil: *Cackling louder*

Roman: Virgil!

Patton: *passing by before glancing between Roman and the door* Is something.... wrong?

Roman: Virgil is being a jerk.

Virgil: *opening his door with a wide grin* Roman is just mad because he owes me dinner

Roman: What? No, I don't!

Virgil: And I believe a song as well.

Roman: I... you are impossible to understand, you emo nightmare.

Virgil: Oh, you know you love me.

Roman: *spluttering* Well... you- you're such a.... *huffs* Whatever. Jerk.

Virgil: *smirking and crossing his arms* Prick.

Patton: *glancing between them confused* .... have fun?

[moondeew]

Hi! I heard you take requests and since I saw other people asking could I ask for s1/Pre AA Virgil and Janus? It’s ok if you don’t want to! :))

hi hi!! I present to you the sassy hissing losers :

the exes ever Sorry this one took so long lol I couldn’t think of something for them to do together so I just did some of my fav scenes lol

look I love that Virgil is more accepted in the famILY and that he’s finally considered a core side but I just miss how sassy he was in s1!!!! he was so sassy and mean and I LOVED THAT

“I gotta be me.…..nuh*mean*” I LOVE THAT

love this snake and black cat/spider duo

[where-are-the-spooky-gays-2]

I need someone else to picture this with me:

Roleswap. Anxiety Remus and Dark Creativity Virgil. Their personalities are basically the same, but they act a little different

Remus is just a little less bubbly and unhinged, but still a menace. He doesn't put himself out there as much and he's all too aware that he's not the hottest shit in the pile (more on that later). He doesn't have the same shirt with the tall collar (bc danger) and he's a little more picky with weapons.

Virgil is still a moody little sassy shit, but without the crushing social anxiety he's a lot more obnoxious. And I mean slutty anime bad boy love interest obnoxious—man spreading, antagonistic taunting, flirtatious quips, and teasing just to get a reaction out of his target. And this man knows what he's doing.

That target is Remus, who just so happens to have some of the most cartoonish/anime reactions out there. Remus can flirt back pretty easily, and he has no problem with throwing in innuendos, but he is a hot mess if things get too serious, like dating serious. Relationships are scary and Remus is scared he won't live up to expectations, considering Virgil is the hottest shit in the pile (told you it'd be back later) And Virgil wants this hot mess so badly, even if he doesn't think he's good enough for anyone—bitch is still trying anyway because Remus is into garbage

(I just want to imagine Virgil being flirty and confident to make Remus a stuttering mess, as opposed to a cartoon explosion)

I'm visualizing this entire concept and it's just fucking Y E S!!! A universe where Vee's a confident lil shit who knows what he wants and uses it to his advantage? It's over for Ree XD Sure he can handle an arm pinned next to him on the wall with a creative Emo giving him a shit eating grin and a lil chin raise but hand holding and a cheek caress??? Ree.EXE has stopped working and he's redder than a sun burn! Even if he's scared shitless about a relationship and feels like he won't be enough Vee knows it takes hot to know hot and he's certainly gonna prove the anxious dork wrong and that he can't get rid of him that easily

[bumpscosity]

i just realized i could make all my portal core fandragon scries into dusthides bc yknow. orbs.

[vampypurplequ33n]

Just double checking to be sure we all agree with these headcannons as a fandom, correct???

Logan: Has man boobies, is a pretty tall side, and is a wine mom

Patton: Pretty short, has a dad bod, love chocolate chip cookies, makes gifts for the sides, and can be pretty dumb at at times

Roman: Has a floating crown, spends hours getting ready, spends hours coming up with unique nicknames, and battles Remus often, one of the tallest sides

Virgil: Listens to a lot of rock music, hangs up all of the guts he gets from Patton, viewed Janus as a mom at one point (prolly still does), has an animal feature of a spider, love cuddles, a medium height side, definitely shorter than Thomas

Janus: Wine Aunt, sassy mf, shortest of the sides, has to treat Remus like a dog sometimes, has a cane, and misses Virgil

Remus: Eats all soaps, is one of the tallest sides, misses Roman sometimes, pretty stupid, likes to bother Logan a lot, controls his tentacles at will, has spiral eyes

IF I FORGOT SOMETHING PLS TELL ME-

[sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes]

I kinda miss super sassy Virgil