#sasha's mindfulness and care is off the charts!!!

[finnesse]

if barky offered to do this for me i would fall to my knees and cry on the spot.. oh sasha you give me more reasons to like you as a player

tysm to @/FlaKitties on twitter for the translation brb ill be sobbing

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

For The First Time

Summary; Closed off older Eddie, slightly cynical, bit of a fuckboi who falls in love for the first time with you.

Bits of angst, mostly fluff and a lot of Smut, reader falls first and thinks Eddie doesn't feel the same, he falls harder. 18+ minors go away. Modern au

Older Eddie Munson x Reader

The reader is in her 20's and Eddie is 41.

If you enjoyed this then pls consider liking or reblogging ❤️✨🌸

I don't give anyone permission to copy, repost or translate my work.

❤️

Eddie takes the beer Steve hands to him and nurses it for a little while. He's exhausted after working on a car all week and his last hook-up with a woman called Sarah? Sasha? Two weeks ago.

Fuck, he can't even remember. He didn't make it a habit to be with the same woman for too long, they would try to get to know him, get him to open up about life and things he never wanted to discuss.

It's not like he disliked the women he was with, he liked them and had fun but that was that. He made it clear that nothing more was to come from it.

The only thing that was troubling him is someone had caught his eye, a friend of Nancy's who worked with her on the biggest newspaper in Indiana.

Yn was your name and he hadn't been able to stop thinking about you and your tight little skirt all day.

He met you a few days ago at a party Steve and Nancy had thrown for their son's 10th birthday.

You were shy, yes but after talking to him for a bit you began to relax and let your guard down.

Fuck, you even made him laugh and he can't remember the last time that he's enjoyed talking to someone so much.

Not only were you funny and smart, but you were also beautiful and a sweetheart. It stunned him that he was keen on speaking to you again.

He just doesn't know quite how to approach you.

Turns out though that you were in your apartment. Thinking of the very same thing

💕

The next time you meet the chemistry again is off the charts, you can't help thinking about how sexy Eddie is.

You know he's older but you don't care, you've never been so attracted to a guy in your life.

He moves with confidence and knows he's the hottest guy in the room, leather jacket and jeans, rings adorning his hand and a smirk on his face.

Yeah, he knows he's hot shit.

Nancy can see straight away that your crushing on Eddie.

"He's a great guy but he's a bit of a fuckboi so just be careful okay?" you nod and assure her that you'll be fine.

He's hot but it's not like you'd fall in love with him or anything and you approach Eddie even though nerves are racing in your stomach.

His eyes light up when he sees you and you immediately start chatting.

It's like the first time you got talking where you immediately feel at ease with him, except now the way you look at each other is more intense and its obvious how much you both want each other.

When he asks if you would like to talk somewhere a little more private you agree.

Though not much talking was done at all as the minute that you reached Eddie's place and you were inside, it's like all the tension between you boiled over and he backed you up against the wall claiming your mouth in a searing kiss.

Your clothes fall away as you head upstairs, Eddie tossing his jeans to the side and kneeling down to kiss over your stomach and between your thighs.

Your hands tighten around his hair which he sweeps into a messy bun. He looks so hot that you almost combust right there and then.

His lips are everywhere on your body, hands cupping your breasts, mouth closing over your nipples and you moan.

"You're perfect" he growls out as he looks up at you through thick lashes and those big brown eyes are darker than usual, full of need and desire.

All you want to do is feel every inch of Eddie, and you do having him at your mercy as he stands up to kiss you and you drop to your knees, losing all your previous shyness and wink at him.

The look on his face, the little Oh his lips form as you suck him off imprints in your mind.

He's moaning, begging for you to take him deeper and when you do he loses all control, his eyes closing, veins throbbing at his neck as he comes hard, you lick up every drop and he watches you do it with a hungry expression.

By that point, you are both desperate for him to be inside you and he lays you on the bed. Your bodies entwined.

Eddie sheaths inside you and his head throws back as he moans in pleasure.

"Fuck baby, I love how tight you are, feel so good" he grunts out and thinks that he could lose himself being buried inside you forever, the feeling of you clenched around him was more intense than anything he felt in his life.

He comes hard and fast again, a guttural moan escaping from his mouth that joins your fervent cries of his name as you come.

"So fucking mind-blowing princess, he coos, I hope you know that I'm not finished with you yet"

The biggest smile lights up your face and you giggle.

"I hope not, think you can keep up with me old man?" you tease and he laughs... Oh, he'll show you...

❤️

Eddie and you meet very frequently, he can't get enough of you and you can't stop thinking about him.

It was the best sex both of you ever had and you loved the feel of Eddie's head between your thighs.

Or when you sucked him off and he looked at you like you were a goddess, that was pretty good too.

He made a point to tell you early into your relationship, fling? Whatever it was - that he hadn't been in love before so this would be strictly physical.

A friends with benefits type of thing, which you were fine with because you didn't want to stop seeing Eddie, you liked being around him.

"Don't you want to fall in love?" your curious to know after he tells you all of this and his big brown eyes lock with yours, there's a vulnerable edge to them that you haven't seen before but just as you're about to say something, he shakes his head.

"No, I don't. Now sweetheart. Enough talking. I'd rather have you naked and at my mercy" He kisses you and you forget about the conversation soon after.

❤️

Eddie's naked body is entwined with yours and your hands trail over his tattoos, move to trail over the scars on his body but before you can touch them he flips you over and has you on all fours.

His fingers knead your ass and he smirks.

"Fucking gorgeous" he moans and you feel so overstimulated but Eddie's voice in your ear is spurring you on just a little bit more.

"Come on princess, think we can do one more orgasm huh?" he croons and you feel one building fast as he fucks into you relentlessly.

The orgasm makes your knees buckle and you cry out in pleasure, Eddie tilts your head back so he can kiss you, his moans of ecstasy filling the room as he comes, spilling inside of you.

"That's my sweet girl" he coos and his lips brush against your neck as he pulls out of you and you curl up on his bed.

You're exhausted, legs like jelly and completely happy and sated though a little sore.

Eddie's bed looks so inviting and it smells like his cologne, like he's wrapping you in a big hug.

Eddie watches you for a second with a small smile on his face, his fingers caress over your hair for a brief moment and the tender touch startles both of you.

He clears his throat and moves away and you secretly wish he could keep doing it.

"You can stay here sweetheart. Have a ton of work to do for a clients motorcycle and shit" You nod sleepily but capture his hand before he leaves.

''Can you stay? Just for a little while?" you don't think he will say yes but you just wanted to ask.

For a second he looks hesitant then he agrees which elates you.

"Just until you fall asleep princess?" and that is fine by you, it's just lovely to cuddle into him for a little while.

"You're dangerous" he mumbles as his head rests on top of yours. His words puzzle you and you look up at him wanting to know what he means.

"Me" you whisper in disbelief and there's warmth in his eyes as he explains what he means.

"That little pout could get anything you wanted with that" he teases and you rejoice inside that he likes it.

The thought and sleepiness from all of those amazing orgasms lull you to sleep. When you wake up an hour later hes gone and you can hear him tinkering outside.

The fact he did stay with you for a little while though is enough to send you back to sleep with a big smile on your face.

❤️

A little while after that night, something in your relationship shifts again. The first time he stayed the night.

You hadn't expected him to stay. Not really, yet he did and you find yourself enchanted by Eddie when he's asleep, all of his defences down, peaceful.

Eddie lays on his stomach fast asleep, he's out for the count and his long limbs are sprawled across the bed, one of them entwined with yours.

He shifts a little and gives you a view of his chest.

Subconsciously your hand trails gently over a large scar of his, there are a few scars or scar tissue on his body and you want to ask what happened for him to get these marks.

You want to ask but you don't because you know it's a sore subject for him. Ever so gently you place a soft kiss on the scar tissue on his chest, then the one on his neck that is hidden by a tattoo.

When you look up at him he's watching you his gaze slowly turning gentle.

"What are you doing?" his voice is low, sleepy and sexy, it makes you tingle.

"Kissing you" His gaze trails down to the scar on his chest.

"My scars" he corrects you and you sit up, wanting to reassure him.

"I know you don't talk about them. Just wanted to give you kisses" He grins, then chuckles.

"Could you be any fucking cuter?" he asks you and it makes you feel giddy then he's silent for a moment before speaking again.

"I was attacked by bats princess" Bats? You raise an eyebrow.

"Vampire bats?" he motions for you to sit between his thighs, your head rested on his chest.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you, baby, I haven't told this story to anyone in over twenty years" This intrigues you even more and you turn around and cup his cheek with your hand.

"I'm a good listener, try me" and so he did tell you, after you promised you would never tell anyone else. That's when you found out about the Upside Down, interdimensional monsters, demogorgons, demobats and Vecna.

"Like Freddy Krueger but real and more terrifying sweetheart"

You find out he was wanted for the murders Vecna committed because the first girl Chrissy killed by Vecna was murdered at his trailer when she was there for a drug deal due to the visions she had been having of Him.

He tells you about how he almost died and he has nightmares about The Upside Down, it's why he doesn't stay the night with anyone.

Until now.

That's the first night you realise how deeply you're falling for him.

❤️

Time passes and you fall for Eddie more and more. However Nancy's words play in the back of your mind about him being a bit of a fuckboi.

Or his friend and Nancy's younger brother Mike's words that he's surprised you've been around for so long because Eddie grew bored easily.

The words wouldn't leave your head because Eddie warned you that he hadn't been in love before, that he didn't want to and yet here you were with your heart laid open to him.

That earned a terrifying glare from Nancy and Mike scarpered.

She apologises but the words are saying heavier and heavier on you and you wonder how long it will be before Eddie grows bored of you.

You're scared you'll fall even more in love with him the longer you continue to see each other, the thought of him moving on without a care in the world leaves you hollow and leads you to react to protect your heart.

Eddie can see how upset you are and he has you in his arms, soothing you. Kissing your head, calling you his sweet girl.

It's like you could pretend that hes in love with you too but you know that isn't possible.

"Hey, talk to me sweetheart?" he caresses your cheek and it only makes what you have to say even harder.

Why did he have to be so wonderful? You curl up into his chest for a second before you move away.

"I don't think we should see each other anymore," you tell him even though it devastated you.

His eyes widen then flash with pain or at least that's what you think because he turns away very quickly.

"Why?" there's a crack in his voice and tears pool in your eyes.

"Because I've fallen in love with you" you admit truthfully.

"What, no you can't" He looks so stunned and you feel yourself shaking, the pain you feel is agonising.

"I do love you and you don't fall in love. That's what you told me and it was pointless because I did then I had some fairytale notion that maybe you might fall in love with me. Stupid huh?"

His fingers grip the table he's leaning behind and his expression resolves.

"You deserve better than me princess" princess, the thought of him not calling you that or hearing his voice devastates you but you have to be strong.

You can't force him to feel the same way about you, feelings don't work like that.

"That's where you're wrong Eddie, you don't know how lovely you are" you walk over to him and press a tender kiss to his lips.

"Guess this is goodbye then?" you murmur and choke back the tears. He is about to say something when Steve comes in and looks between the two of you.

"Uh, what's going on?" you flee before your emotions bubble over.

Don't cry, don't cry you say in your mind over and over again and you don't. Not until your in the privacy of your home and the painful emotions swallow you whole.

❤️

Eddie doesn't need you. He doesn't, he keeps telling himself that, thinks if he says it enough times that it will sink in.

But he misses you, he wakes up to an empty bed with his sheets smelling of your perfume and there's that burst of agony in his chest again.

Steve takes him out to a bar to cheer him up but all he can think of is you.

Every woman who comes up to him is turned away because they aren't you.

He can't even think about being with anyone else because all he craves is you.

It takes one more full day of misery, where Dustin and Steve finally have enough of his moping about and Robin and Nancy encourage him to find you again so you can talk.

"Eddie stop being a dingus when it's obvious you love her too. Life's too short to not grab happiness when you find it" Robin tells him and he gets up at that point, having enough of moping around.

He does need you, the time he's spent with you has been the happiest of his life.

He wants to see you, he wants you back.

❤️

It's late at night when you hear a knock at your door, you aren't expecting anyone but figure it could be Nancy or Robin coming to check on you.

All you planned to do tonight was pig out on ice cream and watch horror movies- you were staying far far away from romance films for a little while.

Wiping your eyes you get up and answer the door.

Eddie is standing outside and he's holding a beautiful bouquet of wildflowers, ones you can tell that he picked himself that are also mixed with your favourite flowers.

"I had to see you" You take in his appearance, the stubble growing over, the way his eyes have shadows under them like he hasn't slept.

He looks like how you feel inside.

"Hi," you murmur and he half smiles.

"Can we talk?" you nod and motion for him to come in. Why was he here? Was he here to tell you he had moved on or something?,

The thought is like a vice grip on your heart, that doesn't make sense though maybe he's here to return some of your things? You had one of his shirts here.

Or maybe he misses you as much as you miss him a hopeful voice says in your head which sounds a lot like Nancy.

"I miss you" he admits straight away and you itch to cuddle him and never let go.

"I miss you too" Your voice cracks and the tears come again and hes at you at once wiping them away ever so tenderly.

"I can't do this sweetheart, I can't not have you in my life" His confession stuns you because you convinced yourself so badly that he didn't feel the same.

"You know I love you Eddie, I know I can't force you to feel the same way, I never would force you to feel the same"

His voice is soft, cracking for a second then grows stronger. "I know that but here's the thing I've fallen in love with you, sweetheart, I can't imagine my life without you in it and I don't want to. I want you and only you for the rest of my life"

"Eddie" you sob and he smiles taking your hand in his, pressing a tender kiss to your lips.

"I love you today, tomorrow and forever if you'll have me" You nod and the euphoria hits you, the feeling that this wonderful man loves and wants to be with you.

"Yes. Yes, I love you Eddie Munson" He smiles and holds you tight, lips on your forehead and a whole new world of happy possibilities blooming for the two of you.

❤️

[rexbalistidae]

Terrible CH ship chart with my ocs. I had to make two categories for not really caring. Priscilla, amslie, and tatu do not give two shits about ship discourse they’d just tell you to fuck off and that they don’t gaf.

Starkitty would never even have this thought cross his mind. Mura is a kind old woman who just doesn’t really understand what’s going on at all.

I did not put Sasha in the middle like Martha bc unfortunately she would lowkey be a candide hater. She would have had that mentality that candide was getting in the way of her otp that ppl had in 2023. She’ll grow out of it because I love her and she’s my sweet baby.

Sammie (ironically Sasha’s husband) would be a disgusting candide GOONER. He dgaf about her personality he’s just a freak. Candide hater daughter vs candide gooner son.

Bishop and gable just found the idea of candtron cute but don’t really care that much about it.

White Wolf is the saddest most miserable lesbian in the world in love with a red cat that is going to inevitably pick that fugly white cat over her. Of course she likes candslie. And unmentioned on this chart due to lack of drawings are four other dragons. They all go on the candslie side. White wolf and her gang of lesbian dragons… yikes.

Martha would really be a multishipper in fandoms but she has a strong belief that candide is a lesbian so no candworth for her thank fucking god. She’d probably like making ship art of both.

No clone high is not canon in any of universes and especially not the one with the emo catholic animals but I thought it would be fun to actually give this a thought. Also can you tell I hate Sammie with my heart and soul (I draw him all the time)

[blacksunscorpio]

Astro Musings No. 10

Prominent Lilith…

in a chart  can be found in people who work in areas like defending the rights of women, refugees, the under-privileged; in international law, in war zones, in women’s refuges. These individuals are gutsy advocates, activists... typically the people who experience the darker side of humanity and as a result, know the truth about it. The truth the general population would like to sweep under the rug. You’ll see this feminine energy surrounding the dishonored, rejected and abused. One who feasts on a never ending sampler of the deepest ends of the emotional spectrum; rage, grief, all forms of toxicity, past-life and trans-generational residues and influences, conception/in-utero/birth traumas. This where the “curse” label comes in, as anyone with strong Lilith positions is a carrier of the same, the accumulation of off all these attributes. She will be a receptor of it as well as a deliverer. She will also use it to her advantage and can become someone quite feared and respected.

Prominent Lilith in a man’s chart will usually indicate that he will act out Lilith’s issues through a partner or project Lilith’s issues onto them. There are likely to be issues with the mother. Very similar to a Moon in Scorpio in a man’s chart or moon in the 8th. He may also attract partners who are very strong in their femininity and the quintessential “man-eater”.

Those with Saturn in Capricorn

Will usually find themselves being the ambitious types-especially regarding school or their career. Saturn is discipline and in its element in Capricorn [ruled by Saturn]. 

12th House Stelliums in Synastry or Composite

Can indicate a spiritual-like connection. A deep emotional connection with a ton of emotional involvement. Very likely two people ill appear in each other’s dreams. May even indicate a telepathic connection with heavy Neptunian house influence. However it can also indicate undoing by either one of the natives to the other. In addition, it can indicate a relationship that has hidden aspects. Often this is seen in relationships that are forbidden or forced to be kept secret in some way. Be careful with unrequited love here as well as deception. Heavy 12th House has this nasty knack for making those with it’s influence feel euphoric and even dreamy but it can be hard to ascertain where things are working for or against you. Asteroid Aphrodite Touching the Moon

Will accentuate a native’s beauty and sensuality. Their emotional expression will be seen as “beautiful” by others. This is a common placement found in actresses and even models. If in the 1st house this will be quite akin to having Venus [Aphrodite’s Roman counterpart] on the ascendant. If in the 5th house, a native might find themselves having frequent casual flings that will be catalyzed by someone being attracted to their physical appearance.

Placement found in “Sex workers” Will often be

Venus or Mars in the 10th, 6th, or 2nd

Pluto or Scorpio on the Midheaven

Uranus in the 2nd 6th or 10th [Uranus equates things that are unconventional and rebellious. It also rules the ‘Avant Garde’. On a career or Money house this can indicate one who makes money or has an unconventional career]

Mars in Aquarius [Pornographic actor James Deen has this placement]

Mars in the 8th

Mars touching Neptune [Neptune can indicate fantasy/illusion/acting + Mars = sex]

MARS IN CAPRICORN [Actress Sasha Gray has this placement]

Venus aspecting Mars Lilith and/or Pluto

Venus in the 8th

Dominant Lilith

Strong Asteroid Eros [433], Nymphe [875], Lust [4386]. or Priapus[H22]

Mars in Scorpio

Those with Mars in Pisces

Are quite passive with their aggression. They do not like conflict and typically hate drama but some can find themselves being subversive in their tactics. If badly aspected this can indicate cowardice or one who resorts to manipulative in order to assert their will.

“Sister Signs”

Such as Taurus and Scorpio, Leo and Aquarius, Aries is opposite to Libra, and Cancer to Capricorn are opposite each other yes but they are considered “Sisters” because of the way in which they balance each other out There is always give and take. Taurus is practical and down to earth while Scorpio is existential, Aries sets things off while Libra diplomatizes, Cancer feels and nurtures while Capricorn executes. Moon in the 8th House can indeed make someone think of sex often. 8th house is ruled by Pluto/Scorpio and the house that rules sex and the Moon is one, if not the most receptive point in the natal horoscope. As a result, a native with this placement may find themselves immersed in 8th house thoughts

Jupiter in the 8th House I’ve mentioned before in a man’s chart can indicate one who is well endowed [BDE]. In a woman’s chart it can be an indicator of one who is OVER sexed. The highest sex drives live here because Jupiter EXPANDS. Mars in this house is also a pretty powerful contender. 

Gaslighting...

In astrology, despite common misconception isn’t always a Plutonic attribute but a NEPTUNIAN one. Though Pluto is a master tactician and can often probe to the deepest levels of the psyche, Neptune can downright pull the wool over one’s eyes. Neptune rules confusion, illusion, deception and trickery [as can Mercury]. If there is someone in your life that has a nasty habit of this [natally or in synastry] check to see if

Neptune is aspecting Nessus

Neptune squaring/opposing Mars

Neptune squaring/opposing Mercury [Decepion/mind]

Neptune squaring/opposing Moon [Deception/Feelings]

Neptune squaring/Opposing.conjunct Nessus [Deception/abuse]

Neptune squaring/IOpposing Pluto

Neptune squaring/opposing Sado [Deception/perversion/abuse]

Neptune squaring/opposing asteroid Psyche No. 16 [Deception/Mind/innerworld]

Piscean influence or 12th House influence debilitated/afflicted.

Ladies and and Gentlemen, If you find yourself attracting predatory creepers who happen to be in the older age range...

This is likely due to some sort of Capricorn or Saturn placement touching your Venus. Saturn represents the “father figure” and when touching a receptive sexual/feminine planet like Venus, older men may prey on you. This is especially likely if there is a cross aspect to Pluto which adds obsession.

Moon/Saturn

in hard aspect can be an indicator as well.

Priapus touching Venus with Saturn

in the mix can indicate these older men will do anything to fuck you. Priapus is wild sexual abandon and need to merge [but the male version, he’s Lilith’s counterpart].

5th House Stellium with Saturn in the Mix

or a 5th house in Capricorn can indicate feeling restricted in the area of fun. 5th house is naturally ruled by Leo/the Sun and is the are of life that rules leisure, enjoyment, children/childhood, casual relationships [often of the sexual variety]. When Saturn is here, he can restrict or add a touch of maturity to the aforementioned areas. This could be the person who had to grow up faster than everyone else for whatever reason. This can also be the person who feels blocked from innocent expression of love and therefore they can be terrified of committing. They can be socially reserved, shy, awkward and/or naturally distant even if they deeply crave relationships. People can misjudge their temperament for indifference or coldness but in reality they can’t help it. This is not to say that they will never become emotionally/romantically involved, but more so it may take a longer time than others. Having benefics in said house can help combat the effect of Saturn [depending on harmonious or challenging aspects.]

When Jupiter is transiting one of your angles...

This is Usually an indicator of a lucky break and or windfall. Even more so if Uranus is in harmonious aspect to said angle. The luck can come out of the blue.

If aspecting the 10th, this can mean lucky break in the career.

 The 4th, Perhaps a lucky break in family or even a pregnancy. 

The 8th a lucky inheritance from a family member. 

7th, Luck in love.

Malefic Uranus in Natal or Synastry 

can indicate where one feels abandoned. Uranus is about “sudden breaks” so often if it is touching 4th, Sun, or moon it can indicate someone whose family has been plagued with Divorce. I often seen Sun inconjunct or square Uranus in charts of people whose father was absent or split from life right away. Moon in hard aspect to Uranus can be an indicator of an absentee mother. 

Composite Charts with Stelliums

Indicate that the planets and houses will be integral parts of the relationship

1st House stelliums indicate that the couple’s image and personalities will be significantly affected. All 1st house dealings will be accentuated. This will be a karmic relationship.

2nd House stelliums indicate the couple will be very concerned with material values or even quite possessive of each other. They may make money together. Gift giving can be a big factor in the relationship. Careful for neptune here as it can indicate “stealing” of resources.

8th House stelliums indicate the relationship will center around sex/obsession's and/or even marriage since this house is the life/death house. Karmic tie. 

4th House stellium indicate family, security and comfort will be paramount If Jupiter is here, they may have [many] children together.

10th House stellium can indicate a power couple or two people’s relationship that center around their careers. They may be talked about or subject of gossip only because their relationship is akin to celebrity to others.

3rd House Stelliums in Sagittarius 

Will usually be one who is verbose. They have a LOT to say and since the 3rd house is ruled by mercury, planet of communication and Sagittarius is a fire sign ruled by expansive Jupiter, one is always seeking to expand their mode of thought. They may have a knack for languages. These are also the people who will do well if they travel abroad for school. The classic “shipping you off to boarding school in Switzerland” aspect. Very Philosophical thinkers here. Akin to having a Mercury in Sagittarius.

Pluto touching the MC in Synastry

Can mean that the Pluto person can transform [for better or worse] the Midheaven person’s public persona, career, or reputation. For example, Brad Pitt’s Pluto is forming a harmonious aspect to Angelina Jolie’s Midheaven and she went from being the bad girl/outcast of Hollywood to gaining Pitt’s social capital the moment they got together. Her popularity increased exponentially because of him. She was more accepted due to her association with him in Hollywood inner-circles than she was before when acting out her aloof, devil-may-care, vile-of-blood sporting days.

Planets in your 1st House

Can influence your appearance just like your rising can. So even if you are a Scorpio rising, your Sun in your 1st house can make you shine despite the dark Plutonic influence on your ascendant. Aries rising’s are typically on the shorter and stockier side but with Jupiter in the 1st it can make one Tall and Muscular. Capricorn risings with Venus in the 1st Can have RBF yes, but with Venusian influence can have a sort of Cold Beauty. Leo Rising’s with Saturn in the 1st can have a regal aura but a very stern or austere appearance. Virgo Risings with Mars in the 1st Can often be very graceful. The structure and detail of Virgo with the athleticism of Mars are working together Ballerina’s/Dancers often have this placement.

Sagittarius on the 7th house/DSC Cusp or Sagittarian influence on Venus or 4th House can indicate marrying someone outside of your culture.

Minor Planet/Asteroid Pallas in the 3rd or touching Mercury can indicate a writer or someone who is quick witted and ambitious regarding intellect.

Positives for Venus in the 12th 

typically a knack for knowing how to love others. One see’s the hidden parts of others that they do not show. These are the people who wind up having complete strangers spill their guts to them because others unconsciously sense that this person is naturally sympathetic and an empath, Strong empathetic ability here. In addition They’ll attract people from all walks of life. Very go with the flow people. Easy to get along with. 

A square Between Saturn and Neptune in Synastry

Often means the Saturn person can restrict the dreaminess and idealism of Neptune. Saturn wants Neptune to come back down to earth and will often call Neptune out without reservation if they catch them being less than honest. Neptune may feel stifled and unable to express their idealistic nature with Saturn’s rigidity involved.

CEO Placements

Strong Cardinal Energy/Dominant Cardinal Modality in the Chart

Leo Midheaven/Strong Leonine Influence in the chart/angles

Taurus Midheaven

Mars/Aries Midheaven [Bill Gates has this Placement]

Capricorn/Saturn Midheaven [Jeff Bezos has this placement]

10th House Stelliums

Capricorn Risings

Scorpio Sun

Saturn in Scorpio

Saturn in Capricorn [Warren Buffet Has this Placement]

Earth Placements on the Angles

North Node influenced by Jupiter

Saturn, Mars, Pluto, or Jupiter as the Most elevated Planet

Hate to Break it To You

But if your North Node or Your Partner’s North node is squaring many Planets in synastry, this indicates a bit of an “uphill battle” regarding the relationship. The life purposes of two people are at odds. Though there can be tons of passion involved, two people can either encourage each other’s bad habits [usually the case with Jupiter] or Commitment may never be solidified [Uranus]. Venus squaring the north Node can indicate pain regarding love or just two people who may never get a chance to tell each other how they really feel. 

Those with Venus in Aries

Can be quite selfish in love. Aries is ruled by Mars, ruler of the 1st house that is all about the “I”. As a result, one’s loving style can be very egoic. These are usually the Takers in the relationship. They may find balance with someone who has Libran placements on their sexual planets but the give and take can feel unequal if Venus in Aries isn’t careful. Adversely, those with Venus in Libra or Mars in Libra need to take care to not be noodle-backs in romance. Love doesn’t always mean self-sacrifice or running yourself dry. It’s natural for those with these placement to appreciate reciprocity in relationships. After all, Libra is the scales. Balance. If you see that you are giving more than you are receiving, don’t be afraid to draw a boundary and set things straight with whomever might be taking advantage.

A positive for Venus in Aries is there decisiveness in romance, however. They know what they want and aren’t afraid to cut the fat if someone is not meeting their expectations. Rarely will you see this person suffering from self-worth issues. These are ferocious flirts. The kind of person who will ask you out first.

Strengths of Mercury as the Most Elevated Planet

Mensa Level IQ

Inventive

Witty

Quick

Agile

Dexterity

Easy Reading Comprehension

Excellent Writing Capabilities

Fine tuned to detail

Orderly

Funny [especially if Jupiter is touching]

Nessus in Capricorn

Can mean Dad was abusive or some Dominant parental figure could be/could’ve been a big source of Pain. in the 9th they could have demonstrated this by forcing the native to take up a belief system or secondary education that matched their values as opposed to the natives. Work can also be a source of abuse here or these natives can work themselves to death.

Sado in Gemini

 can mean one who can hurt with their words or can mentally abusive someone.

Those with Mercury in Earth Signs [Cap, Virgo, Taurus]

Find it VERY difficult to accept facts or figures without evidence. These are the skeptics. The ones who need proof. One who has this placement may think your love for conspiracy theories, or belief in ghosts is silly. 

Love Languages for the Signs are:

Aries-

Physical Touch/Words of affirmation. Mars is Masculine/Yang in nature. Code? Regardless of gender/orientation subscription- they loooooove their ego stroked. They love the fire stoked and are the ultimate Hype Men/Women. In their personal and public lives. The two languages work in tandem with Aries’ basic needs. You know an Aries loves you if they are cheering you on or giving you a headlock hug. They feel appreciated if this is reciprocated.

Taurus- Receiving Gifts. Taurus is ruled by Venus which rules the 2nd house of Money and Values. As a result, buying shit for a Taurus or showering them with expensive gits reaffirms the sentiment of love for them. They’ll often do the same.

Gemini- Words of Affirmation. This Chatty Sign loves to converse. They feel good when they’re able to socialize and exchange ideas. The sapiosexuals of the zodiac. As a result, words of affirmation tend to be their favorite mode of romantic/platonic expression. Giving or receiving. 

Cancer-  Acts of Service. Cancer is the sign of nurturing. Ruled by the moon, the celestial “mother” these natives don’t feel good if they’re not able to care for something or someone [no matter their hard exterior]. 

Leo- Physical Touch/Words of Affirmation. You’re doing it wrong if you’re not physically loving on a Leo or Telling them they’re awesome. Leo’s LOOOOOOVVEEE their ego stroke. It’s a fire sign thing. Plus, being the Lion’s they are, they need to feel that they are being recognized/worshipped. As a result, positive verbal reinforcement followed by a kiss or a hug usually does the trick for these natives.

Virgo- Acts of Service/Words of Affirmation. Virgo is mercury minded. Hence they work quite cerebrally. They need to HEAR you tell them something. Be it feelings, how they’re doing well, etc. However they are an earth sign that’s ruled by the 6th House of work and routine. You’ll find coaches, trainers, med professionals etc., here. Hence, acts of service tends to be a very Virgo-esque expression of love.

Libra- Gift Giving/Receiving/ Acts of service. Libra’s are also ruled by Taurus which rules the material/luxury. Their love of the finer things- often aesthetically pleasing aspects in life can be hit or miss for some, as it can appear superficial at a surface level. However, they, being a more passive sign love demonstrating their love by pleasing others. Keeping things charming, chill and agreeable. Venus also likes indulgence. This is why swag coming in or going out from/to a Libra  is appreciated. 

Scorpio- Physical Touch/Quality Time. Scorpios are ruled by Mars [planet of Sex] and Pluto [Planet of sex] lol. They’re also a water sign that’s honorary fire thanks to being co ruled by mars [Aries’ ruler]. As a result, these hard-shelled arachnids appreciate physical expressions of love. As opposed to intercourse, a Scorpio is satisfied with things as simple as hand holding, to a simple kiss on the cheek. Pluto likes to merge. Scorpio is also a water and 8th house is very binding on a life and death level. The most precious resource is time and Pluto rules resources. As a result, Scorpio’s enjoy receiving quality/giving time to/from the people they care for.

Sagittarius- Quality Time. Though these globetrotting archers have a hard time staying in one place, you know they love you if they are taking the time to be with you/putting their adventures on pause for you. In addition, they love spending time traveling and going places with those they love.

Capricorn- Gift Giving/Receiving/ Quality Time. These Goats live primarily in the material world so the fruits of their hard labor are the key to demonstrating their love to their loved ones. They also appreciate these things being given to them. Saturn is also father time and the ruler of longevity. Spending time with a Capricorn or them spending time with you is a sure-fire way to know that they give AF. 

Aquarius- Words of Affirmation. These are the big thinkers of the zodiac. So when they are working in their service/socially-minded modes, they appreciate being told that what they do makes a difference and is appreciated. They are also air signs so they primarily work through intellect.

Pisces- Quality Time. These Neptune ruled fish are the empaths of the zodiac. They feel everything so at times it’s important to have someone around to be there for them. That is why Quality time is often big on a Pisceans list for primary methods of affection [giving or receiving]. 

Astro Musings No. 1  Astro Musings No. 2  Astro Musings No. 3  Astro Musings No. 4 Astro Musings No. 5  Astro Musings No. 6 Astro Musings No. 7 Astro Musings No. 8 Astro Musings No. 9

[moo-nstone]

attack on titan characters - birth chart analysis 🌙

Here is my take on the big 6 of Levi, Eren, Armin and Mikasa of attack on titan/shingeki no kyojin! I kept their sun signs since we know the day and month of their birthday and since I think they’re absolutely perfect. If you want me to do my take on the others (like Jean, Historia, Erwin, Hanji, Connie, Sasha, Reiner, etc) please let me know! (spoiler warning!)

Levi Ackerman

sun in capricorn - levi mf ackerman is fuelled by three things and three things only: LOYALTY, a strong moral code and power. he is seen by most people as a heartless, unemotional bastard but is canonically the most emotional character - he shows love through very indirect ways and he’s the peak of capricorn in the sense that he represses his emotions – he smiled literally ONE time in four seasons, and didn’t once shed a tear. he’s very hard to read. has a lot of respect for his superiors and follows the orders of only those he’s loyal to. he’s driven by his moral codes in the sense that the protection of humanity is his prime motive for fighting titans. like a true capricorn, is the master of his field of work and cares the most about being a survey corp member. please protect this tragic baby. 

virgo rising - two words: CLEAN FREAK. this man has a strong need to be presentable at all times and hates getting blood on his hands for the single fact that he needs himself and his environment to be clean. his obsession with being clean is very much due to his childhood trauma and how he lived in in poor conditions in the underground. he has many quirks that correlate with this: the way he holds his cup, the carvat he uses bc of his mother, and the way he always cuts his own hair because that’s the way his mother used to do it.  intimidating and demands respect. DRY HUMOUR. 

moon in scorpio - i think he has many similarities with mikasa, especially in the moon and venus. introverted and hates people but will go to the ends of the earth to protect the ones he loves and respects. represses emotions and internalizes his hatred until he has a mental breakdown - which happens in the form of extreme violence. VERY sensitive and emotional even if he doesn’t show it. he’s very intuitive and often acts based on gut; he’s secretive and vindictive. very wise and great at giving advice. doesn’t let himself get manipulated and uses shitty situations to his advantage (like with the reeves company). trust is the most important thing to him.

mercury in aquarius - levi is extremely logical, and hates when others involve their feelings in the making of decisions. his decisions are always backed up by strong arguments and others often see him as cold and detached. i saw someone  mention something extremely interesting about aquarius mercury’s/people with their mercuries in the 11th house: despite not being very sociable, others are drawn to them for friendships – and often they’re the introverts who get “adopted” by extroverts. this is 100% levi’s case, hanji and erwin practically adopted him. being very vulgar with his words and having a distinctive sense of humour, he’s very humanitarian and is actually really talkative but only when he’s very comfortable around someone. blunt, always tells it like it is – like when he tells eren he can’t know what the right choice really is and he needs to choose it himself. teases and insults his friends as a form of affection.

mars in scorpio - levi’s a fighter, a survivor. he knows what it’s like to come from nothing and have to build himself up. very confrontational. reclaims his power by exerting intimidation and mastering violence. others fear doing as much as make a joke at his expense. understands other’s motivations and characters very easily. he’s very intuitive. very serious due to his need for having an intense and demanding presence, for being respected and valued. he’s the one who everyone sighs of relief when things go to shit and he appears because you know he’s the strongest and most dependable person.

venus in capricorn - good luck getting this motherfucker to open up. his trust is very hard to gain but is necessary for working with him – he places his full trust in his comrades and demands the same from them. very work-oriented and takes relationships very serious; it’s really telling that he cares little for romance because capricorn venuses are the ones to date to marry, and will only devote themselves to someone once they believe they’ve met the one. they either want a more powerful and mature partner or they exude that energy (levi is the latter). slightly parental – we see this in the way that levi is pretty much the dad figure. it’s called squad levi for a reason, after all. very responsible. takes care of loved ones and often uses tough love as a form of discipline.

Eren Jaeger - im not even kidding with this one, he has extreme aries energy

sun in aries - eren feels the need to be very independent and he hates whenever he has to depend on mikasa and others, wanting to be strong enough to reverse the roles. he’s very self-confident, bold and direct. very impulsive, he’s quick to anger but is also very quick to forget - especially seen with his arguments with jean, fighting him is basically a love language at this point. aries suns are very fast thinkers and their strong energy may come off as intimidating. they have great intentions but that often becomes muddled with their impulsivity and the fact that they don’t think ideas through. eren is unabashedly himself and fights relentlessly for what he wants. his aries energy also makes him extremely motivated! he believes in the impossible and will make it happen no matter what.

aries rising – aries risings are the trailblazers. they ooze intensity. eren has very much a baby face and, due to his impulsivity and childish charm, people tend to baby him a lot – in the sense that he’s this kid surrounded by adults who needs supervision at all times or he’ll get into deep shit. aries risings are also marked by their extreme need for action, they’re the ones to do now and apologize later instead of asking for permission to do something in the first place. he is guided by his passion and is a natural leader who inspires everyone to fight alongside him. aries risings have a lot of energy which they need to express in a physical way, making them be prone to be very athletic and lead very active lives. he’s also extremely competitive and is driven by the force of becoming stronger than mikasa, and often feels angry when he realizes how stronger than him other people can be. at the same time, this pressure to be better is put solely on himself. he’s a dumbass with a good-heart and pure intentions.

moon in sagittarius – all this motherfucker talks about is freedom and seeing the world past the walls. he craves adventure and is extremely optimistic. but even if a sagittarius moon needs their freedom, they are still absolutely ride-or-dies and once they’ve commited to something, NOTHING or NO ONE can stop their determination. these are also the people to try their best to always appear cheerful and full of determination to hide their sad façade – like when he was nearly vomiting when talking about the titans to the other recruits when they began the training in the military but still forced himself to say that the titans aren’t scary at all and that they aren’t a big deal; he naturally inspires others and fills them with courage. but the way they put on this strong and brave façade leads to a strong emotional turmoil, violent urges and a sudden hostility to others. they are filled with surpressed anger that can lead them through very destructive paths – and the happy-go-lucky child might just lose her hope. we see this in eren in the most heartbreaking way.

mercury in aries – LOUD!!! eren speaks what’s on his mind with NO hesitation whatsover. he’s very quick to defend his friends and points of view, and speaks openly about his passions and dreams. he’s very assertive and tenacious. short attention span and not afraid to give a different opinion from someone else’s. very passionate about what he argues about. very expressive and when an aries mercury disagrees with you, you’ll know it immediately by their facial expression. confident and thrives on inspiring others. remember him being mad when it was discovered the possibility of all titans being humans because now he didn’t know who the enemy is and he NEEDS to hate someone and blame them in order to keep going? ARIES MERCURY ENERGY!!

mars in aries - people look to mars in aries to lead them. they’re full of energy and dynamic, and very athletic - eren exceeds at hand-to-hand combat and, in the other subjects where he’s not so good, his determination makes him push forward and become better. VERY hot-headed and confrontational, which is both the source of all their problems and their strength - they are not afraid of going after what they want and are willing to go through any obstacle to do so, and they’re also not afraid of upsetting other people in order to do so. eren is courageous, loves to take initiative and is very enthusiastic - something that is very contageous. competitive and hates compromise, he likes getting his own way. aries mars are also very individualistic and can have a huge ego.

venus in pisces - i know this is going to confuse a lot of people - like, how does he have so much aries energy, how is he so intense yet has one of the softest venus placements? i deeply believe he’s a pisces venus, and here’s why. his friends are EVERYTHING to him. pisces venus’ love very deeply and are very dependent on their loved ones, and eren is extremely protective of his loved ones and is willing to do anything to protect them. pisces venus’ are very vengeful, too, something that people seem to brush off about them - they might not do anything when you mess with them but as soon as you mess with their friends it’s game over. i also get a lot of “there was no other way, the word had to be fixed” vibes from this placement? like, this placement gives me the energy of someone willing to commit awful crimes under the excuse of it being for the greater good, which is something he dramatically experiences as he grows older and witnesses the cruelty of the world.

Armin Arlert

sun in scorpio - armin very resourceful!! he easily adapts to the circunstances he’s in and works his way around it. very intelligent and with great memory. extremely manipulative, cunning and perceptive. scorpios are known for their capability to be great investigators due to their natural curiosity, and armin has this deep need to see the world outside of the walls and he studies all there is to know about it with great passion. determined to succeed. 

cancer rising - armin just wants to achieve his dream and it’s so soft. cancer risings are very receptive of other’s emotions and incredibly sensitive, but it’s difficult for them to open up to others. his appearance is very soft and delicate. loves to help others and has a naturally warm presence that makes others feel comfortable in his presence. give off a very grounded and stable energy, but this is often because they try to hide their most intense emotions and don’t know how to deal with them/don’t want to bother others by opening up about it. 

moon in pisces - one word: EMPATHY!!! very compassionate. tendency to become a martyr and be very self-sacrificial. VERY imaginative, he is the strategist, after all. can feel others emotions and read them very easily. avoids confrontation but feels a strong need to take the weight off of others’ shoulders and to solve all their problems. very loving and giving, in tune with his emotions and emotionally intelligent. on the other side, this caring side of him can make him see other people through rose-colored glasses, and he is prone to believing in the best in people and giving them the benefit of the doubt. but when they’ve proven their true nature to him, he’ll see them for what they are and will no longer defend them, even if still feeling remorse. notice how he’s always like “this had to be done, we had no other choice” to justify his actions.

mercury in scorpio - bro armin’s eyes are so intense. when he gets on his manipulative bullshit it’s IMPOSSIBLE to look away from his gaze. he practically communicates through the eyes. armin is very sharp and his innocent appearance has everyone still thinking of him as a sweet angel as if he isn’t a whole war criminal. he easily psychoanalizes others to know what they want and uses it to his advantage, like how he used berthold’s love for annie to manipulate him to let eren go after him and reiner kidnapped him. scorpio mercuries be knowing shit, they be knowing everyone’s secrets and others usually confide in them as if they’re their therapists. 

mars in pisces - mars in pisces makes a person avoid physical confrontation at all costs. notice how armin’s first response to everyone wanting to kill reiner and bertold/the marleyans was “please let’s just talk about this first”? he hates violence and deems it not worthy most times. he is very physically weak and aware of his limitations, unlike eren and levi, whose first instinct is to use violence in order to get what they want. no, armin has developed a much more subtle and effective way to get what he wants without using violence: emotional manipulation. he is the KING of appearing innocent and naïve and having people feel bad for him and want to baby him and protect him, and due to his extremely intuitive nature, he knows EXACTLY what to say to someone to get under their skin. he twists his words and emotions to get what he needs out of people and it’s both incredible and dangerous. also, very self-sacrifical and his goals are based on his emotions.

venus in cancer - he loves so much and it’s so beautiful and heartbreaking. he gives everything to the ones he loves and thrives off of being helpful and keeping everyone safe. reads a lot into the behaviour of the people he loves. very emotionally intelligent, wants stability and to maintain peace and may bend over backwords to achieve that. needs to feel understood and has a soft spot for troubled people, those who are more demanding and assertive (eren and mikasa), people he can take care of and who can take care of him in return. very affectionate and communicative. warm presence, you can pretty much feel the love radiating out of him. 

Mikasa Ackerman 

sun in aquarius - if you get past the emotional walls of an aquarius that has them appearing detached and distant because they’d rather use intelligence than seem emotional, you’ll be met with an incredibly soft, loving and caring person. an aquarius strength is their ability to be very unique, individualistic and humanitarian individuals - they truly march to the beat of their own drum. mikasa possesses a great deal of determination and isn’t afraid of being rebellious, especially when her loved ones are in danger. 

capricorn rising - people with capricorn rising had to learn to be very independent from a very young age. mikasa is very intimidating but she has a very doll-like beauty, common to many capricorn risings. these people have had to deal with a lot ever since childhood, but they are fighters and their determination has them being able to survive even unsurmountable odds stacked up against them. capricorn risings tend to be serious and disciplined, and with a melancholic aura to them – which mikasa perfectly embodies. but the fact that these people have cancer in their descendant makes them strongly emotionally attached to their loved ones.

aquarius moon - even under the most stressful and dangerous situations, mikasa always remains in control of her emotions. she thrives in those situations, it’s the adrenaline of the moment that has her being so good at controlling her emotions until it’s safe to be anything but racional again. aquarius moons are feel very misunderstood and tend to racionalize their emotions a lot. however, it’s only due to their fear of vulnerability that they build this emotional walls, because they experience very intense emotions. i always think about that survey corp member saying “what did you have to go through for you to be like this?” when she was perfectly stable in a life-or-death situation. 

mercury in capricorn - mikasa is incredibly action-oriented and she speaks in a structured but confident way. although she’s on the quieter side and is reserved, she’s able to inspire everyone when all hope seems lost, and she’s taken up eren’s words of “if we don’t fight, we can’t win” and uses it constantly in order to keep going. she’s very hard to read due to her usually expressionless face, giving her a mysterious aura. she’s very ambitious, persuasive and determined. 

mars in capricorn - when people say that mars in capricorn people are the scariest when they’re angry, they’re not wrong. they act so calm and collected until suddenly they’re fixing you with a death glare and you’re rethinking all your life choices up until this point. mikasa might be extremely rational and calm, but as soon as someone threatens the ones she loves, she’ll stop at nothing to eliminate the threat. it’s like she fears nothing but ever being unable not to save them. she’s very responsible and reliable, with a lot of physical strength and stamina. very PROTECTIVE, grounded and GIVING 

venus in virgo - this is one of the things that makes mikasa so similar to levi, the way they love. this bitch is LOYAL to her very core. she knows very well where her loyalties are - eren and armin - and is ready to kill all her close friends and superiors in order to protect them. she threatened to kill historia if she got in the way of getting eren back home safely, jumped levi on sight when he wanted to save erwin instead of armin, and got pissed at connie for doubting eren’s intentions after the whole marleyan ordeal. acts of service are very much her love language - she constantly picks up eren’s and armin’s stuff and carries it herself or orders them to rest while she works. it’s very hard to gain her trust and loyalty but once you do it’s forever, she’s very selective about the people she cares for. she’s possessive, too - giving historia the coldest death glare in the world when she saw her with eren. i’ve also noticed that venus in virgo are very difficult to declare their emotions!! they’ll just wait for the person to notice their indirect acts of affection. very attentive to the needs and details of loved ones.  

[postwarlevi]

Okay, but imagine the FACE on Jean when he he sees Eren flirting with you.

So, Jean and you have been a couple for a while and he wants to introduce you to his friends because he's super serious about you and sees you, Eliza, as his forever. He takes you to a little party get-together and he offers to get you a drink. You agree and watch him go to the bar, or the drinks area.

While Jean is getting the drinks, he hasn't introduced you to people yet. So, people going near you think you might be a friend of one of the gang (104th party). So, it's assumed you are single....

Eren sees you, makes his way over and starts talking to you. Jean sees it and runs over to save the day.

I wonder what he says...what his reaction is...what he does...

I love that everyone is shipping Jeliza... thanks for feeding me! LOL

I have to be honest even as an adult I think he's still this guy haha

Jean and my compatibility are off the charts, for real! It's such a fun, caring, trusting relationship. But dude still has his insecurities, even with Eren, though they call themselves friends frenemies? there's still a rivalry there.

Eren is confident and flirty and I'm generally shy and easily embarrassed by compliments and such, but still try to be polite. In just a few minutes Eren hits a subject that I like and we're laughing and I just figure we're having a conversation. My sweet Jean turns and sees and his heart kinda drops a little before he can assess the situation, and his mind goes back to the old days when he was really jealous of Eren (his words, not mine).

If he's a bit younger he might come over and bump Eren pretty hard and start something. But maaaaybe, as an adult, he comes over and jokingly says "hey Jaeger, I know this one is cute, but really?"

And then Eren and I realize we have Jean in common and everything turns out okay! Armin and Annie come over, Sasha and Connie, Mikasa (she's a little scary not gonna lie...she saw the 'flirting' between me and Eren too oops!)

However if it's someone he doesn't know I can he him decking them. He's got a mean punch! I mean, he basically knocked Reiner out! (granted the man was tired and not fighting back, but still lol)

[olivetreehugger]

SnK Scouts/Veterans as Health Care Workers

Note: features Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Connie, Sasha, Levi, Erwin and Hange. A part two to my “SnK Warriors as HCWs” post found here. warning: mentions of blood, trauma, gore (it’s healthcare). Also, I know Hange is nb, I headcanon them as female, so I will be using she/her pronouns. 

Eren: this boy is definitely too involved in everything and has too many people depending on him at once to not be a nurse. The kid barely passed the NCLEX but that didn’t stop him from applying to every trauma center within a 25 mile radius of him. He got hired as a night shift trauma ICU nurse  and he frequently picks up shifts in the ER. He wears the cheapest scrubs he can find, often stained with ink in the pockets area. He isn’t a shitty nurse per se but there are tasks that still need to be done at the end of his shift and he gives a crappy report that’s missing too many details. Nurses hate picking up his patients, it’s always a mess. His charting is really spotty and he gets called into the manager’s office all the time to fix it. 

Still, he tries really hard to improve his time management and skills. He wants to be like his friends Mikasa and Reiner, who are the best nurses he knows. He wants to be involved in the traumatic cases and emergencies because he wants to learn as much as he possibly can. He’s really good at wound care, for some reason (hint hint). He’s kinda cocky sometimes too, which can be troublesome when Dr. Galliard is working. People know to steer clear of those two when they’re both  in the ER. Also, Eren always has a black cloud around him; whenever he works it’s gonna be a hella busy day in the hospital. Lots of emergency surgeries, intubations, codes and deaths. He’ll always jump in to help you if your patient is crashing, though, no matter how busy he is. 

Mikasa: she’s a prodigy. She was a straight ‘A’ student in nursing school, got a perfect 75 on the NCLEX and was immediately hired to the trauma ICU after doing a short internship there. She worked night shift for a year but her sleep schedule was so so fucked she started having night terrors, so she switched to day shift. Eren still calls her a traitor for it :/. She keeps trying to get him to switch over but he just hisses at her and threatens to chug a case of Monster energy drinks. She hasn’t given upon him yet, though.

This girl’s work ethic is beyond measure. She comes in exactly at 6:30 am, looks up her patients, takes report, gives a great update to the doctors when they round, and provides impeccable care to her patients. She knows exactly which treatments the doctors will order before they even speak. She’s incredible at inserting IVs--everyone in the hospital knows Mikasa Ackerman can put an 18g in a 90  yr old lady’s arm AND get blood return (just trust me, it’s flipping impossible). She has great skill when it comes to emergency situations and is a big believer in team work. If she notices your patient’s crashing and you don’t know what to do, she’ll calmly coach you and save your patient, too. All before lunch time. 

It doesn’t take Mikasa long to be promoted to charge nurse. When she’s in charge all the reports, paperwork and audits are completed before shift change. She divides the patient assignments really well and is very fair to the new grads. All around she’s an incredible nurse and leader on her unit, but don’t be fooled. If it’s been a rough day, Mikasa will get in her car and sob so loud her throat goes raw. A lot of people depend on her and working in a trauma ICU is really, really demanding. A lot of patients are demanding, rude and busy. She has a lot of trouble with stress management and is thinking of cutting her hours down so she can catch a break. Someone please hug her <3

Armin: for some reason my brain is just SCREAMING respiratory therapist. Like, I imagine this beautiful blond boy in gray scrubs (the color for RT’s in my hospital) going around helping intubate patients, giving nebulizer treatments and doing blood gases. I can just see him huffing and puffing when the attending doctor is overzealous about weaning vent support. -“Why are we changing the patient to pressure support? do you see how tachypneic he is on volume control?”

-“are you gonna put in the order? if not, your patient’s gonna be on PRVC all day, I’m not changing it without an order”

-“Doc, the patient looks like crap and their blood gas looks like death...oh, you still wanna extubate? ok, well I’m gonna leave the ventilator in here just in case. better yet, let me call a pastor in here, too.”

This kid is sassy af and he knows it. He’s smart af too, knows everything there is to know about the lungs and respiratory care. Knows every ventilator mode better than most doctors. Will certainly tell a resident off for ordering the wrong type of inhaler for a patient. He’s so damn intelligent that he even made the ice queen Annie melt like a popsicle. 

 He has no chill when it comes to his patients and even less chill (like -4078875874670) when a doctor gets in his way. For this reason, Armin has recently been toying with the idea of going to PA school so he can have a little more autonomy. He works al over the hospital, usually frequenting the trauma, CV, and medical ICU. The nurses there love him. 

Jean: Jeannie boy. Baby. Sweetie. He’s also a nurse. He is strictly dayshift and trauma. When he first started, he thought he’d do a year in the ICU and then go to CRNA school. He didn’t want to be around sickly patients with hopes and dreams and fears--it was too icky for him. But, over time, he learned that he LOVED trauma. Jean loves the controlled chaos that comes with the ugly, bloody messes that roll in through the ICU’s doors. He always gears up for trauma season (summer time) by bringing Dunkin Donuts iced coffee for everyone on the unit (day and night shift because he’s a supportive king). He gets really good at dealing with arrogant trauma residents and ortho docs who think they’re hot shit. When Jean sees a resident yelling at a nurse, he jumps in and threatens to have their license revoked. He will dig under their skin and page them incessantly throughout the day, too, just to get back at them. Jean is not a fan of lateral violence in the workplace, no sir. 

He always, always makes sure every room is stocked and new bags are hanging for the next shift. He has a thing where if things aren’t properly organized on the unit his brain just spazzes. He’s on the unit council and education committee because he also loves to teach the new grads. He also doubles as charge nurse, when management can’t be there (there can be one or more charge nurses amongst the staff, they usually work different days, though) He and Mikasa work so well together, teaming up to get tasks done, coding patients, running them down to get scanned, etc. People joke they’re the mom and dad of the unit. It makes them both blush <3 (Eren doesn’t like it, lol)

Jean loves to see patients healing from horrendous injuries, he’s constantly cracking jokes with the awake patients to try to make them feel better, and he’s really good at calming anxious family members down. Our boy just makes such good connections with people. He’s the guy you call when your confused patient is one second away from ripping his breathing tube out. He can convince the most restless, agitated patient to chill out. He’s got the voice for it. Also people love his mullet. It looks great. 

Connie: I really didn’t know at first but I feel like Connie would make a great physical therapist. He’s got great energy, he’s funny and I could see him dancing to Earth, Wind & Fire in front of his patients to hype them up for therapy. He’d be very sweet with them 

Sasha: I’m sick and tired of the food jokes, quite honestly. She’s more than that. In my mind, she’s an occupational therapist, helping disabled patients learn to feed, dress and clean themselves again. She works directly with Connie as they round on all their patients in the hospital, they make a great team!  She’s extremely patient and would make a very good nurse, but is unsure of where life is taking her. That is until she meets Niccolo the dietician in the cafeteria, and she falls hard. He encourages her to follow her heart and she does!  

Levi: Hm. This one stumped me. Levi is a bit...cold. It’s not like he has incredible social skills. He’s meticulous and focused and kinda mean? He reminds me of an anesthesiologist, tbh. Like he’ll sedate the shit outta you for surgery, makes sure you don’t die on the table, and then drops you off to the unit as fast as he can. He never takes off his mask while in the hospital and he scrubs maybe four times before surgery. He is very good at medication calculations and knows everything about nerve blocks, intubation, pain medication and sedation. He can look at a person and just KNOW what kind of sedative to give and how much. Your blood pressure will never bottom out while he’s there, he’ll warn the surgeon and immediately get that norepinephrine started.

 If Zeke is the one operating, Levi is on his ass to finish up the surgery ASAP and to not linger, because Zeke takes his time and ignores the tele monitor alarming in the background. After surgery, this 5′2 demon will scream at the 6′ resident about the importance of blood pressure management and sedation in neurosurgical patients. Levi plays no games and he also just really hates Zeke lol

He seems like a jerk but genuinely cares about getting his peeps through surgery. His favorite surgeon to work with is Hange Zoe, because she’s brilliant and fast, but also cognizant of her patient’s hemodynamics. Levi likes taking trauma cases as long as it’s with her. When he drops a patient off to the trauma ICU or goes there to intubate, he makes sure Jean or Mikasa are there because he knows everything is gonna go smoothly. He trusts them a lot. He likes Armin, too and even let him intubate a few times. On his breaks, he’s drinking tea and reading a Williams & Sonoma catalog or scrolling through cleaning Tik Tok lol.

Erwin: This man. This beautiful and hunky beefcake. Omg. I HC him as someone who went to nursing school, became a charge nurse on the trauma unit back in the early 2000′s and fell in love with it. Erwin would eventually fall in love with leadership and educating, too. He went back to school and earned his Doctorate of Nursing Practice (a practice doctorate). He managed the trauma unit for ten years before his brilliant leadership skills and wicked smart brain got him elected as the Director of Trauma Surgery recently. He is the first person with a nursing degree and DNP to ever accomplish this, so it’s very controversial. A lot of toxic doctors threaten to leave the hospital for this (because they’re assholes), but Erwin threatens to fire them in response and it usually shuts them up. 

He often holds lectures in the hospital auditorium. With a mind and voice like his, people are so drawn in by him. He advocates for nursing staff, for reimbursement when continuing their education, better staffing, parking, etc. He makes nice with doctors and gets them to sign petitions for the nurses to get these things. He’s a bit manipulative He’s also a fantastic manager and director, he’s really good at negotiating things. The nurses and residents all love him because he rounds on every ICU frequently, brings food, and asks them how he can help. He can be a bit daunting because of his height and deep voice but once he starts talking to you, you just get sucked in. All around an absolute king. 

Hange: This character reminds me of a trauma surgeon and intensivist (ICU doctor) we have, Dr. Omi. A great surgeon, really really smart, but takes absolutely NO bullshit. She will yell at you if you freeze during intubating. She wants you to recite every step before you take it, otherwise she’ll take the tube from you and do it herself. In surgery, she’s the same way. She wants you to learn, but by her standards. If she asks a question, you better know the answer or fess up right away, she doesn’t like the “uhms” of uncertainty as you try to search for a shitty response. Either you know it or you don’t. And if you don’t, she’ll teach you. Yeah she can be rough around the edges, but she’s got a big heart. She loves her trauma team. She buys them breakfast and gives them funny personalized gifts. One time, she bought an apply tree for Mikasa and brought it to her car at the end of a shift. Mikasa forgot to plant it and it died in her backseat. Hange will sometimes ask, “Mikasa, how’s your apple tree growing?” and Mikasa will lie through her teeth. “It’s growing!” Fess up, Mikasa. Those google search apple trees are starting to look familiar.

All around Hange loves to work and teach. She is a wonderful trauma surgeon and has saved tons of lives.  

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

For the character prompts: Jon, of course! And, if you’d like another, Danny :)

Jon:

general opinion: actual love of my life

hotness level: hot jon rights, i'm making a new category for him, hot in a feral, unhinged sort of way, i will die on this hill

hogwarts house: ravenclaw through and through

best quality: he! is full! of love! this man makes my heart hurt. he tries so hard to hang onto his humanity and he makes these awful, clumsy, human decisions which, at the end of the day, ends up being driven by the fact that he just. loves people. he was heartbroken over sasha when he discovered the not!them. he killed elias citing the friends he had lost. the hunters had a knife to his throat and he still was defending gerry's memory. he tried to save jordan kennedy in the only way he could. he loves in such a clumsy, human way and i love that for him. Alternative best quality: he's a total bitch and that's great

worst quality: the boy can't think two steps ahead to save his life. literally. he has almost died several times because he can't plan worth shit.

ship them with: martin, i love them together, but i also ship him with gerry? they shared exactly one (1) episode together but they had a fantastic dynamic in it and they both legitimately treated the other with respect as a person? which is just so huge for characters that were systematically abused and used? they're both people who are isolated and used and still trying to be good. it also just has a huge ships-in-the-night aspect to it. gerry was working with gertrude when jon was at the institute. they just missed each other. and maybe, if it hadn't, they could have had someone legitimately in their corner for once

brotp them with: tim. they! were! friends! I relistened to season 2 a few months ago and tim shows such genuine concern for jon towards the beginning, before it gets messed up. and in season 1, jon trusts him to look into the oliver banks statement when he was worried it was a prank from the other two. we see so little of their early friendship but they seemed to legitimately care for each other?

needs to stay away from: elias bouchard. jimmy magma. that man. my favorite part of nhthcth comments are all of the death threats elias gets. it's great.

misc. thoughts: he's just such a tragic character and he was human until the end. he was deeply flawed and i love that because it made him so human? he wasn't your typical hero protagonist. he was just. some guy. trying his best. and in the end, he didn't win. i love that. like, the real tragedy of jonathan sims is that he was human and failed in human ways, and losing his humanity was what people accused him of most.

Danny:

general opinion: actual love of my life

hotness level: absolutely off the charts hotness, he gets a new category too, this is not me saying this this is god's truth, canonically he is obscenely hot

hogwarts house: gryffindor, my only character inspiration for him was himbo and all the boy wants to do is explore exceedingly dangerous places, the boy is just here for a good and potentially fatal time

best quality: he's very straightforward in what he wants? i'm speaking specifically of him from nhthcth, i don't have much to work with when it comes to canon danny, but like, he doesn't get caught up in a balancing risk and reward like most people. he's going straight for the gold and not getting caught up in logistics. like, he's not willing to play the sacrifice game. tim is. tim is willing to say, i'll sacrifice myself to this job because it gives danny better odds. danny would have said tough shit, we're going to succeed on the shitty odds because that's the one that actually saves us all, fuck off bouchard. like, he would die for the people he loves but he's not going to crucify himself or anyone else early. he's very solid in what he wants and what he's willing to do to get there but he's very hard to play because he's going to go the distance even if it's risky

worst quality: he will not. fucking. back down. ever. which can be a good quality in some things but it can be a really really bad quality in others. he's stubborn as shit and willing to go to ridiculous lengths to realize what he wants and sometimes that leads him to be way more reckless than is necessarily good for himself or for his greater team. he's also kind of bad with nuance? like, with jon, jon's a good person to him. he does good things with his powers. jon is good and what he does is good. simple as that. which means he fails to grasp the sheer cost of the powers and how they're legit bad to use. like, this isn't one of those things where the power is a tool and all that matters is how you use it. the power is feeding an evil god and if you use it, you're choosing to torture the person on the receiving end every single night for the rest of their lives. and yeah, jon's using it against bad people, but the act itself is bad. doesn't necessarily mean jon picked wrong when he decided to do it that way, but it does mean that jon picked something bad.

ship them with: nhthcth danny is actually aroace and has no prospects in my mind

brotp them with: jon. i love him and jon as friends. danny legitmately does not want to use jon, which is something nhthcth jon needs so badly. danny really just thinks he's a cool guy he'd like to get to know and he'd treat jon like a person, not someone who can help him get what he wants. even tim is guilty of that, to an extent. jon is tim's way of saving his brother. for danny, jon is a huge part of keeping him alive, yeah, but he doesn't want jon in his life because it's helping him. he thinks jon is a great person to have in his life because he's the sort of guy who would risk his life for a stranger. also, he's an absolute riot, holy shit, keep saying those words you crazy magic man

needs to stay away from: Grimaldi, the clown wants to peel him like an orange

misc. thoughts: kind of heart, dumb of ass. force of chaos. love is stored in the danny.

[lovelylogans]

honey, you’re familiar (like my mirror)

see other chapters, notes, and warnings here!

chapter five: obligate mutualism

obligate mutualism: a type of mutualism in which the species involved are in close proximity and interdependent with one another in a way that one cannot survive without the other.

REMY

Emile appears in Nice, squealing and jumping up and down.

“Hey!” Remy says warmly, hugging him; Emile’s joy is so infectious that Remy can feel Emile’s smile stretching across his own face. “What’s got you so happy?”

“They let him off!” Emile says exuberantly. “Rem, they let Remus off! Jay proved that they don’t have anything on him so Remus is free to go!”

“Oh my God, that’s amazing!” Remy says, then, “wait, what was Remus under arrest for?”

“Oh, murder,” Emile says, waving that off, “but Jay proved that Remus was just joking when he was threatening him, so Remus got off! Oh my goodness, he’s out! He can finish his latest book! He can stay with Roman! Yay!”

“Yay,” Remy cheers weakly, wondering what the hell kind of cluster his boyfriend has birthed.

ROMAN

Roman drops a substantial amount of money on champagne on their drive home.

Remus rolls his eyes, but he’s grinning a little bit, so Roman assumes that he’s happy about it. Or maybe he’s plotting how to ruin Roman’s possessions with champagne. One of the two.

Roman opens the door, balancing the champagne bottles in his arms, feeling a lot like he’s forgotten something. He drops his keys into the bowl on the entry table.

“Hey, Roman! Ooh, champagne—on a Tuesday? What, did you land a role with Guillermo del Toro?”

“God, I wish,” Roman says wistfully, then, oh shit I forgot to tell Sasha.

Sasha blinks a couple times before she stands up.

“Um, hey, sweetie,” she says. “Who’s your friend?”

Remus snorts loudly at the fake endearment.

“Um, Sasha,” Roman says, shutting the door behind him. “This is my twin brother, Remus.”

Sasha gawks at Remus. “I didn’t know you had a brother!”

Remus socks him in the shoulder so hard that Roman nearly drops the heavy glass champagne bottle. “You bitch, you said you’d tell her!”

“I forgot?” Roman says weakly.

“I have no idea how you put up with him,” Remus tells Sasha. “Is the convenience of a beard worth hearing him sing Disney in the shower?”

Sasha, looking a little startled that Remus knows the full truth of the deal Roman and her made, rebuts with, “

“Where have you been before this, anyway?” Sasha says.

“Oh, jail,” Remus says brightly.

“Oh, okay,” Sasha says, and, with a level of casualness that frankly stuns Roman, moves on to, “So, I’ve had a gripe with one of your books for forever.”

“Oh?” 

“I didn’t know you read his books,” Roman says, mystified.

“Yeah, I started back when I was doing that slasher pic a year and a half ago, you remember that?” Sasha says. “Helped me pick up on the internal life of a stalking victim. Anyways, the first book I read of yours—”

“Behind the Bushes, I’m guessing,” Remus says.

“Yeah!” Sasha says. “I super love that you subverted the expectations and the victim was the one that slaughtered the stalker, but I do think you could have carried through a threat she was considering through the book.”

“Which threat is that?” Remus says. “I write a lot of threats.”

“She should have castrated him,” Sasha says. “Duh.”

Remus looks at Sasha how an inventor might lovingly look at a device that finally works.

Roman groans, because he should have expected this outcome, and feared it.

“Oh, no,” Roman says. “You’re going to be friends.”

Sasha and Remus give him identical grins full of mischief.

LOGAN

Virgil appears sitting on the counter. Logan isn’t even fazed by the surprise of seeing him, although his heart rate does pick up a little.

Over the past few days, this is the way it’s been, between them; Logan suddenly finding himself looking over Virgil’s shoulder at his dinner when he’d meant to be looking at data charts, Virgil finding himself with handfuls of flowers in the face of the barren landscape of the Antarctic. 

Even when he isn’t actively visiting, Logan still feels that pull, his mind turning to Virgil at the oddest times of day. He tastes coffee when he should be drinking tea. He finds himself idly doodling South African native flora during dinner. He thinks Virgil might like this when he tries to read a novel during his relaxation times and wonders how best to explain the minutiae of his science to another scientist.

“Hey, Logan,” Virgil says, and Logan feels that thrill in his stomach again.

“Hello, Virgil,” he says, after making a show of turning on his Bluetooth, for the benefit of the other scientists in the lab. “How have you been today?”

“Pretty okay,” Virgil says. “My mom said she was gonna see if she could find any of the other sensates down here that my grandma knew, so I might be able to hear more about her cluster.” 

“Excellent!” Logan says. “Be sure to ask if they’re connected to the Archipelago?”

“You and that Neolithic Google,” Virgil says with a lopsided smile. “But, yeah. I’m being careful about it; I know not every sensate’s a great person to connect to. Ergo mom as a mediary.”

“A wise plan,” Logan says. “It does seem like a disadvantage that all that’s needed for a lifetime of connection is a singular instance of eye contact.”

“Maybe I should invest in a really good pair of blocking glasses,” Virgil teases, and he reaches over. Logan hadn’t even noticed they’d been slipping down the bridge of his nose.

Virgil gently nudges Logan’s glasses back into place, his finger resting on Logan’s nose, and Logan’s mouth goes abruptly dry.

This might be the first time one of us has touched the other.

Logan tries to swallow, coughs a little bit, and says, “It could potentially be a wise investment, yes. I’d—um. I’d have to do more research into what exactly would suffice to block eye contact.”

“Yeah,” Virgil rasps, and he clears his throat, too. “Yeah, that’s probably, uh. That’s probably a good thing to ask Emile about.”

“Yeah,” Logan says, and he fruitlessly tries to refocus his attention on his research. He’s much too aware of Virgil’s eyes on him.

JANUS

Janus turns the phone over and over in his hands.

One last job, two more jobs, three more jobs…

He remembers getting arrested for the first time. He remembers the lawyer who got Janus out of it, pro bono, and managed to keep it off his record by the skin of his teeth. 

He thinks about representing Remus in the courtroom; he thinks about the state of his accounts; he thinks about how the threat of jail that Remus would have faced was what spooked him into pursuing a law degree in the first place.

He thinks about Remus and Roman, side-by-side in the courtroom; he thinks about Roman declaring that he doesn’t care if Remus killed him or not.

Roman is an idiot. An idealistic, loyal, altruistic idiot.

Janus is many things. He is not an idiot.

Key, scowling, sits across from him at the restaurant. Sriracha aioli, fried cod. Janus has been here a thousand times before.

He proffers the little box; Key takes it.

“This is my last job,” Janus says.

Key snorts. “I’ve heard that before.”

Janus hands him the burner phone, too.

“Oh shit,” Key says. “For real?”

“For real,” Janus reaffirms. 

“Shit,” Key mutters, sitting back against the booth. They stay quiet. A waitress drops off their meal. They stay quiet for a bit longer.

“Don’t suppose I can lure you back with money,” Key tries to joke.

“No,” Janus says. 

Key heaves a sigh. “All right. Well.”

He moves for his wallet, and Janus shakes his head.

“I’ve got lunch,” he says. “I can appreciate that I’m leaving you in the lurch for a computer guy.”

Key snorts and shakes his head disbelievingly. “Yeah. Somethin’ like that.”

Janus chews the inside of his lip. “If you ever need a lawyer…”

“Yeah,” Key says. He stands. “Yeah.”

Key leaves. Janus stays.

He’s been here a thousand times before. And yet.

PATTON

There’s a hint of spice in his mouth, and Patton rolls over in his bed to see Janus.

“I keep showing up when I should be sleeping, I think,” Patton muses, before he reaches out and takes one of the chips that Janus is neglecting.

Janus snorts. “Roman was stealing those the last time I was here. Perhaps you all keep showing up to eat my food.”

Patton smiles, dipping the chip in the sauce. “Maybe,” he says.

Janus exhales loudly, before he says, “I have a brother too.”

“Oh?” Patton asks, intrigued, and for a moment they’re in Patton’s bed, Patton lying down with his head propped up on his arm, Janus sitting uncomfortably at the corner.

“Unlike Remus, mine did it. Does it,” Janus amends.

Patton frowns. “That’s tough.”

“I did too, until,” Janus checks his watch. “Three minutes ago.”

Patton’s eyebrows lift in surprise, but that’s the only sign he shows. 

“It’s the reason I became a lawyer,” Janus says.

“Oh,” Patton says because that—that clicks. He doesn’t know Janus very well—he will, surely, but he doesn’t yet—but taking on the good-quality job of lawyer for self-protective reasons makes a lot of sense. Janus kind of seems like the type of person to not really want to rely on other people.

“So, I don’t,” Janus says, and he sighs again. “I’ve been chasing down just one more job for years and years, and now…”

“Now, you’re done, and you don’t really know what to do with yourself?” Patton asks sympathetically.

Janus nods and he drinks some of his Ribena. The fizz of blackcurrant condensation pops in Patton’s mouth.

“Can I offer some advice?” Patton says. “You can do whatever you want with it.”

Janus scoffs a little, but he gestures for Patton to go ahead.

Patton takes another chip. “There are a lot of other people who need a lawyer’s help to stay out of jail. Not just sets of brothers.”

He dips the chip, takes a bite, and is back in bed right as a thoughtful look dawns on Janus’s face.

REMUS

Roman’s fake girlfriend is delightful.

They spend almost the entirety of dinner talking about their favorite horror movies—Sasha is quite the aspiring scream queen in her career, so it makes sense that she’s studied the greats—to a point where Roman puts his hands over his ears and went “I can’t hear you, lalalalalalaLALALALALALALA—”

Truly excellent. Especially when Roman had screeched at the top of his lungs when Sasha had gone into an in-depth side tangent about the verity of the special effects of slitting throats in movies.

And now—

“Ooh, that was good!” Remus says eagerly, pointing at the Sasha in the little screen as she gets stabbed.

“Right?!” Sasha says, and they ooh! in unison as the movie gets increasingly bloodier.

“I hate you both,” Roman grouches from where he’s slouched between them, one hand covering his eyes.

Sasha ruffles his hair. “Go ahead and break up with me, then, I’m sure the press will get us both booked like crazy.”

Roman grumbles to himself, and Remus grins at Sasha over Roman’s head.

“If any of my shit gets adapted into movies, I’m absolutely gonna make sure you get cast into a leading role.”

Sasha grins back. “You’re the best fake brother-in-law I could ask for.”

⁂

Sasha is flopped out on the couch, asleep, as the credits of the movie roll in the background.

“Where is your nearest sharpie,” Remus asks, and Roman rolls his eyes, pulling Remus to his feet.

“Leave her alone, Freak-a Kahlo. I’ve got a spot set up for you to sleep.”

“But,” Remus whines, images of lewd drawings dancing in his head, but he allows Roman to pull him away anyway.

Roman has got a little cot set up for him in his room; it’s like they’re ten again, on a trip to see their abuela, except Remus can’t tackle him and wrestle him to the ground for the honor of sleeping on the bed.

Well, he could, but considering Roman posted Remus’s bail, he figures that roman could be allowed to sleep in his own bed.

All the same, it does give Remus a strange sense of deja vu of their (admittedly rare) family vacations; Roman brushes his teeth and does his extensive skincare routine in the bathroom first, then he cajoles Remus into handling his hygiene, please, they’re living together in the same room, eating soap didn’t exactly work to make Remus smell like a spring rose. To which Remus would usually rebut good, he doesn’t want to smell like a spring rose, he wants to smell like sewage, to which Roman goes ugh, how are we twins, how did two people so catastrophically different come out of the same womb, at the same time, to which Remus says it’s payback for stealing my dick in utero, to which Roman says that doesn’t even make any sense, it’s not like I have two, to which Remus says—

It’s a whole familiar argument, anyway. But Remus does at least dunk his head into Roman’s bathtub to get his hair sopping wet and swish around some mouthwash.

They’re both tucked into their blankets, and Remus is staring at the ceiling, wondering at the best ways to ruin Roman’s fancy linens. He thinks Roman’s fallen asleep until his voice pipes up.

“I’m glad you’re not rotting in jail.”

Remus ugly-snorts. “Yeah, I guess I am too.”

“Thanks to our weird psychic lawyer, anyway.”

“And your fuck-off big actor money,” Remus reminds him, rolling over to face him. The room is so dark that he can barely see the outline of Roman’s face. 

“Yeah, honestly, bribing the cops was going to be my next plan if you didn’t show up,” Roman says sleepily.

Remus grins at Roman in the dark. “I’ve been a fantastic influence on you.”

“Incorrect,” Roman grumbles.

“You’ll be watching slashers with Sasha and me in no time.”

“Ugh, I hope not,” Roman says. 

“They’re inspiring!”

“Yeah, to you, Mr. Big Horror Novelist.”

“You know what else is big—”

“Ew! Ew ew ew, I know I set it up, but ew. No.”

“...This—”

“Remus, I’m kicking you out, I swear to God.”

“No, you’re not,” Remus sing-songs, “You were gonna bribe the cops, I’m holding this over your head forever.”

“I didn’t actually bribe the cops.”

“Yeah, but you were gonna,” Remus says. “Funnily enough, that seemed like the biggest case the cops had against me, too. That I was gonna.”

“I know you’re a horror writer, but I hope you don’t write about Miguel,” Roman says. “Might look a bit too If I Did It to the public.”

“Course not,” Remus says, his eyes slipping shut. 

“Good.”

“I’m going to be writing a book about murdering the cops.”

“Oh, much better,” Roman sighs.

VIRGIL

Virgil spits out his toothpaste into the sink and looks up into the mirror to see Logan in his reflection, his glasses off, a toothbrush in hand.

“Fancy meeting you here,” Virgil quips.

The Logan in his reflection smiles at him awkwardly around his toothbrush, blushes, then redirects his attention to finishing off brushing his teeth as quickly and thoroughly as possible. Virgil uses that time to wash his face; Logan follows not long after. Virgil gets a whiff of the facewash Logan is using; it smells rather nice, something floral.

They do their respective routines in companionable quiet; Logan, waking up for the day, and Virgil, about to go to sleep. 

“What’s on your agenda for the day?” Virgil asks, moisturizing his face.

“Research, research, and more research,” Logan says dryly, rubbing sunscreen onto his face. Their hands move in unison; moving in small circles on each cheek, up to the forehead, down the nose, the chin, down the neck. Mirror images, if not for their distinct physical differences.

“Probably should’ve guessed that,” Virgil says, rubbing the excess moisturizer into his forearms. 

“Oh, you missed—”

And suddenly, Logan is not just in his mirror, but in his bathroom, reaching out a hand to smooth some more moisturizer into his skin.

“Right here,” Logan says softly, his fingers gentle on Virgil’s cheekbone. Virgil barely even breathes as Logan smooths away the smear of moisturizer.

“There,” Logan murmurs, but he’s still cradling Virgil’s face.

“Thanks,” Virgil rasps.

Logan smiles at him, just a little. “You missed right there when we first met, too.”

“Did I really?” Virgil asks. He can barely focus on anything else except the cool smoothness of Logan’s hand.

“Mhm,” Logan says. “There I was, thinking I was going crazy, and there was this African man planting a jacaranda tree into the tile, with a smear of sunscreen on his face…”

“And I had this note-taking Pole talking to me about preferring if I were a hallucination,” Virgil says. “Telling me you’d ignore me if you saw me again.”

“And then I immediately started questioning you,” Logan says, smiling. “And…”

He trails off. His hand is still on Virgil’s face. Virgil is standing so stock-still he could probably turn into a scarecrow, if only for the virtue of keeping Logan’s hand on him.

“And then I kept feeling this pull,” Logan continues quietly, looking Virgil in the eyes. He isn’t wearing his glasses; there is nothing between Virgil and those bright blue, captivating eyes. “This pull to come to you.”

“Me too,” Virgil says softly.

Logan licks his lips. He says, softly, “I do wonder why it is us, that keep feeling this pull to each other.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes,” Logan affirms quietly. “Maybe there’s that call to those similar that we theorized about, that day. Maybe that’s what fuels this connection. Whenever I learned something new, I flashed to you. Always to you. I’m not sure if we’ll ever find out why. Perhaps there’s a level of…”

A level of what, Virgil doesn’t know, because he leans in and kisses Logan.

Logan freezes, and, with anyone else, Virgil would panic and pull back, thinking he’d been presumptuous, but he abruptly feels a thrill in his stomach and a yes in hid mind that may as well be in Logan’s voice, and Virgil’s shoulders relax at the presence of it, of that pull between them finally being eased.

Virgil wraps his arms around Logan’s waist, and Logan’s arms twine around Virgil’s neck, and they kiss, continents and oceans apart, able to taste the minty toothpaste on each other’s breath.

[snkpolls]

SnK Episode 68 Poll Results (for Manga Readers)

The poll closed with 146 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Manga Readers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll, click here.

---

RATE THE EPISODE 140 Responses

The anime continues its positive streak with just over 90% of respondents rating the episode a 4 or 5. MAPPA appears to be blowing this season out of the water for most of us!

Noice

Good!

I liked it

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING MOMENTS WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 144 Responses

We got a pretty mixed pie chart this week. To be expected, given how many moments were in this episode. At a tie with the largest pieces of the pie were Hange’s eccentric attempt to greet the Marleyans and Eren’s gunshot figuratively hitting Sasha. Behind that two more options tied in each with 10.4% of the vote - EMA’s conversation at the shooting range and Sasha appreciating Nicolo’s cooking. This is followed closely by Eren’s mirror scene with 9.7% of the vote. Onyankopon explaining why he looks different when Sasha asks him about it took a solid 9% of the vote.

WHAT WAS THE MOST EMOTIONAL PART OF THE VISIT TO SASHA’S GRAVE? 144 Responses

This was almost too close to call, but Mikasa sitting alone managed to edge out just slightly over Connie’s “I’ve lost half of me” moment at Sasha’s grave. Trailing behind the two were Nicolo’s grief and the agreement between Papa Braus agreeing to a free meal from Nicolo.

AFTER SEVERAL TENSE AND ACTION PACKED EPISODES, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE TRANSITION TO SOMETHING MORE CALM? 138 Responses

The larger chunk of respondents are feeling relieved to get a break from the action for a few episodes. 21.7% prefer the action but don’t mind a break here and there, while 21% state that they enjoy the exposition more than the action anyway, so they are content. A small handful don’t care either way. 

We needed this for another build-up to more action

I like the action but it’s important to move the story along 

These just feel mandatory fillers to me.

I miss the warriors

I feel fine with it. I thought that was going to be some happy-go-me episode, but gladly it still had a serious tones.

This episode felt like a very welcome respite after the absolute shitshow that was spoilers week and....whatever the fuck chapter 137 was. 

Nice breather of sorts, I always like seeing characters from action-heavy series in their downtime.

WOULD YOU RATHER GET A SURPRISE GREETING FROM EREN & HANGE, OR ARMIN & LEVI? 141 Responses

The vast majority of respondents would prefer the slightly less lethal greeting given by Hange and Eren at the beginning of the episode. We’re not sure if the other 29.1% are masochists or just really love Levi and/or Armin that much more. Or perhaps they’re intrigued by the pig piss from the filthy island devils.

ON A SCALE OF 1-5, HOW HAPPY ARE YOU TO BE BACK ON PARADIS? 139 Responses

Overall, fans are happy to be back in familiar territory and put into the perspective of the Survey Corps again. Let’s get ready to rumble!

MAPPA HAS SPRINKLED IN ANIME-ONLY ADDITIONS THROUGHOUT THE EPISODE. AS A WHOLE, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THEM? 139 Responses

Though subtle, MAPPA did include some anime filler (such as Eren’s, erm, mouth breathing). 51.1% enjoyed the noticeable additions, while 37.4% are completely confused by the question and didn’t realize there were any. A handful generally don’t prefer additions but enjoyed what little ones we had this episode. A small sliver didn’t care for them.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE SCENES FROM CHAPTER 107 THAT WERE PEPPERED IN BETWEEN THE MOMENTS FROM CHAPTER 106? 139 Responses

MAPPA is shuffling things around to pick up the pacing of this arc, and 48.2% of respondents are feeling very positively about it. 38.8% also feel that both the order of events in the original manga and the anime work out just fine regardless. A couple of smaller groups either felt that things were a bit off from the manga, or didn’t really care either way. 

I think it's great because it allows an episode to start and end on the same chapter if mappa ever wanted it, allowing the right twists or cliffhangers to be in the right episodes, all WITHOUT having to slow down, which I wholly appreciate.

I'm fine with the changes. Mappa is doing good job.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE CHANGE OF GABI BITING HER NAIL AND ANGRILY SAYING EREN’S NAME IN HER JAIL CELL? 142 Responses

Nearly half of voters feel that both MAPPA’s take and Isayama’s original take work just fine for Gabi’s character. 28.9% prefer the anime’s take on Gabi’s reaction to all that happened, while 14.8% feel that her more defeated posture in the manga makes more sense for her character. 

I'm a mix of both? Her defeated posture implies that she's not happy with the way things worked out with them in jail and Zeke betraying them. On the other hand, her angry face is realistic to the scene too because it implies she really blames Eren for their current predicament.

She looks like some female version of young, angry Tarzan. This time Mappa should have kept the original postures, because the defeated Gabi feels to be more realistic, than the crazy anime one. 

I think they both work but the anime's take might be the anime team beating us over the head that she's just like Eren when he was young.

Makes it clear to the anime-onlies that she really is psychotic

Gabi sucks

HOW WELL DO YOU THINK MAPPA NAILED THE TRANSITION OF EREN SHOOTING THE GUN, TO SASHA TAKING THE HIT? 141 Responses

The response to MAPPA’s take on Eren’s shot inadvertently hitting Sasha was overwhelmingly positive, with only a few people saying that they could have done better with it. 

Eren shot linked to Sasha's death was awesome. Mappa is nailing it!

THE PART WHERE JEAN, SASHA AND CONNIE ARE TRYING TO GUESS WHAT A PORT IS WAS CUT OUT, WITH ARMIN’S NARRATION INSTEAD CUTTING INTO THE SCENE. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT IT? 140 Responses

Exactly 50% felt that while having that JSC characterization would have been very much welcome, they’re okay with that small detail missing from the manga (granted, it was at least acknowledged by one panel being animated). 25.7% have a more nonchalant response, stating that if it helps with the pacing, they’re fine with small cuts like this. 10.7% are just let down by JSC’s lack of characterization in the anime overall and didn’t appreciate even more being taken from their characterization in this episode. 

I was more so interested in our Paradis Peeps talking about newly discovered technology but I’m happy with what we got.

Not dissappointed since I understand you can't show everything but I love them so sad

Why was it animated then?! I’m so confused

Normally I don't like it when they cut corners like this, but I wasn't fond of that scene in the first place so it's okay.

If by "anime" you mean the entirety of it including the past 3 seasons, then option 3. I'm always going to be salty about how much they took out or changed for these three during the uprising arc. So far mappa has done okay with them, I guess. 

Would have been a funny JSC moment, but it was really absolutely pointless. In manga format it works as just background words on a panel. Animating it takes seconds of an episode that could be used elsewhere. So I'm fine with it being cut out.

SOME HAVE COMPLAINED THAT THE ENDING SCENE OF EREN REPEATING HIS MANTRA INTO THE MIRROR LACKED THE IMPACT IT HAD IN THE MANGA. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT? 138 Responses

43.5% were receptive of the anime only shots, but favor the way the scene was portrayed in the manga more. 34.1% felt that both versions were done well, with only 9.4% feeling that the impact was largely the same (if not better). Based on the write-ins, the main complaint seems to be the lighting/color scheme of the scene not quite meeting expectations, or that MAPPA made Eren’s back look weird. 

theyll make up for it when eren screeches at hange next ep

Impact was there, art just felt a bit wonky and toned down the scene overall. 9/11

This goes into my criticism of the color palette and shading style mappa uses, which is far more subdued. The contrast is lowered and the scene is very dark, and there is little rim lighting, so while the actual lineart has far more detail, the detail in the lighting is reduced. Damn I really am writing a wall text aren't I? I prefer Wit Studio's art style a lot but Mappa has honestly been doing great so I couldn't care less, manbun Eren is hot.

I prefer the manga version. I think the anime version have weirds shadows in eren's back. Plus the mirror don't have the same energy, less impactful

Cool scene in the anime, an unforgettable blow to the brains in the manga

Idk

Most of the time seeing things for the first time is what's really impactful. Feel this way towards Armin's transformation in the boat as well. It was definitely less impactful than when you first read it in the manga.

I understand the fandom because this moment was very popular when the chapter was out. I think that in the anime Eren lacks the anger he had in the manga. His voice was too calm while repeating his mantra. .

WHY DOES HIS BACK LOOK LIKE THAT

I didn't care for it in the anime, it was really underwhelming. 

I think most people are annoyed about the lighting than the impact. It’s a bit too dim and the lamp hides Eren’s new hair.

Didn't like the anime version at all

The animation wasn't good and they totally fucked his hair, face, and body up. Although the added shots were definitely welcome.

Eren could've been sexier/animated better, I hope they do better next ep 😭

WE WILL ASK YOU AGAIN. HOW WILL THE ANIME DEAL WITH MIKASA’S HIZURU TATTOO/SYMBOL? 135 Responses

With Mikasa meeting Kiyomi presumably being inevitable in episode 69, we wondered if any opinions had changed on this. 34.1% feel hopeful that the tattoo will be retconned into the anime and that we will see this scene faithful to the manga. 28.9% think that Mikasa will happen to have some kind of embroidery on hand already. 25.9% don’t want to make a call either way, and a small handful think Mikasa’s going to just pull out an embroidery kit and go with it, lol.

The embroidery will be on the inside of her bandage.

Japanese are very taboo about tattoos because of the Yazuka... it will 100% be the embroidery.

I don't know but I hope it gets retconned. Never liked the embroidery thing.

It won't be included

Let’s just... ignore it..

I really really hope MAPPA retcons Mikasa's tattoo next episode. This will be the one retcon I will absolutely celebrate. Plus, it's not really a retcon if they're just amending Wit's changes.

WE WILL ASK YOU AGAIN, AGAIN. WITH THE PACING CURRENTLY UTILIZED BY MAPPA, WHERE WILL EPISODE 16 END? 137 Responses

Uncertainty continues to loom over exactly how far MAPPA will get into this (first half of the?) season. Nearly 40% don’t want to make predictions one way or another, while 23.4% feel that it won’t make it quite to chapter 122. The rest believe it will make it to chapter 122, with 17.5% feeling there will only be minor cuts, if any, and the remaining 13.1% feeling that there will be major cuts to make the feat to chapter 122. 

116 (?) when the allied force attack paradis

122 with the amount of cuts being somewhere in between. They can cut a lot of the Gabi and Falco plotline and still have the story remain intact.

See, I'm not sure buy I'm also worried and curious about it all. It brings up the question of will the story continue in a possible second half of the season? With the manga ending very soon now, it makes sense to have the story wrap up in its anime medium as well. Fees like there's some kind of uncertainty surrounding this, it's unnerving tbh. 

119 with Eren's head being blown off.

gabi no scoping eren, ending creds is eren entering paths and we see ymir standing behind him, s4p2 starts w the ymir backstory

121

No idea and I don't think about it. I just enjoy the show. 

Your guess is as good as mine, I'm still fearing major cuts.

119

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT NICOLO’S PORTRAYAL? 138 Responses

With Nicolo now formally introduced in the anime, we were curious how you felt about his portrayal. Overall the reaction was positive, with 48.6% agreeing that he’s a “cutie pie chef”, and another 45.7% feeling that his design and seiyuu are absolutely great! A small handful were less happy with the voice, but happy with the design, and a sliver went in the opposite direction, preferring voice over animation.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE ADDED DETAIL OF THE FLOWER BOQUETS AND THEIR SYMBOLISM ON SASHA’S GRAVE? 140 Responses

Respondents vastly appreciated the flower symbolism from MAPPA with 82.9% of the pie. 12.9% aren’t really sure what symbolism there even was, and a small amount either don’t care or felt the effort could have been spent on something other than flowers for Sasha.

WHICH SCENE FROM THE PREVIEW ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? 143 Responses

This pie chart wound up being almost eerily even. 42.7% are most looking forward to the 104th discussing Eren (hopeful for the train flashback?). 39.9% instead are looking more forward to Hange and Eren’s tense conversation at his jail cell. The remaining three preview moments were pretty evenly split as well.

DO YOU THINK WE’LL GET BLUSHING!104TH NEXT EPISODE? 130 Responses

71.5% feel that there is a chance we will get the train flashback of the 104th in this episode, but don’t want to say for absolutely certain. 18.5% feel that it is a guarantee based on what we saw in the preview. 10% feel it is instead guaranteed that we will NOT get the scene in 69.

WE WILL LIKELY SEE PREGNANT HISTORIA NEXT EPISODE. THOUGHTS? 140 Responses

The plotline that continues to be a frustrating mystery in the manga - Historia’s pregnancy. 34.3% aren’t particularly looking forward to seeing her in the rocking chair and aren’t very stoked about having to relive this plotline all over again. 33.6% mainly just care about seeing how the anime only fans react to the scene. 17.9% just miss Historia altogether and will take any scraps they can get. And a small handful, at 9.3%, are actually looking forward to seeing anime!Historia with a baby bump. 

Don't really care about historia

It's in MAPPA's hands now. I just hope they can add a little more of her screentime somehow.

I hope so. I want to see the design of her adult self. 

I honestly wouldn't mind if Historia's entire arc, which consists of equal parts pregnancy, irrelevance and uselessness, is just completely cut in the anime lol

not interest

I'm not interested 

I've hated this fucking plot line with all my being and what it's done to Historia since the leaks for this chapter were revealed years ago. So I'm not looking forward to anime-only people jumping in with their hot takes too. 🤮🤮

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

mikasa was shown in sasha's grave in the morning/afternoon and then she was shown again at dusk. SHE SPENT THE WHOLE DAY THERE. and annie... what a queen. and hisu's few scenes? so pretty.

Really glad the pacing was well done

nicosasha ship just flew in and took the spotlight

fantastic!! maybe it's just because this isn't my first time going through this arc anymore, but i feel like the anime feels chronologically less confusing than the manga—I remember being very confused my first time reading these chapters.

The lack of score by Hiroyuki Sawamo is negatively impacting my relationship with the anime. The depth of the emotion that could have been evoked was not present. I also did not get the sense that Nicolo and Sasha were in love, which was a major disappoinment. There were other aspects that weren't so bad, though; specifically, Levi's portrayal and Onyankopon's philosophy.

It felt a bit all over the place, but just seeing things from the manga being animated, I ain’t even mad.

I think that the scene between Sasha and Nicolo was made better in the anime. Isayama has problems with writing romantic moments, so in the manga the whole moment looked like it was taken from some light romance. Mappa made this scene more serene. I liked it. 

I think MAPPA is doing so great tbh! I just need them to hurry up and explain if there will be a part two to this final season or what?! I need to know if we get more anime or they'll diverge into movies or.... just tell us! Lol! 

How DAREEEE they not give Levi his black steed!!!! .....Although knowing what happens ummm yeah maybe his pony gets to live another day this way lol

Here comes the train wreck, choo choo!

I'm really sad I didn't get to hear Sasha call Jean a perv. I was really looking forward to that. LOL I love them. When EMA were at the shooting range, it looked too much like Mikasa wasn't wearing any pants. 

VERY solid. Not the biggest fan of the War for Paradis arc but I'm here for the ride.

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 128 Responses

Thanks again to everyone who participated!

[punkiesocialonline]

WWE College AU Chapter 1

Summary: Annalise Ruiz (My Oc) is a college sophomore with a group project due soon. The only problem is who her group partners are. The Mayhem they cause and the trouble they get her into is maddening, but Annalise is down for whatever as long as her crew is with her.

Oh, great. A group project. On top of all the homework.

Ignoring for the moment the “juicy” gossip her tablemate was telling the girl behind them, Annalise looked up to the board.The list of both familiar and unfamiliar names continued on and on until she found hers. Her group consisted of herself, obviously, and three male students, only two of which she had known. One being her long time friend and class clown Samuel Zayn, who refuses to answer to anything other than Sami. The other was his trouble maker best friend Kevin Owens. Kevin caught Annalise’s eye from his seat in the corner of the room and waved, his smirk letting her know he had no intention of helping on this project. With an annoyed eye roll, Annalise looked back at the board. The last name assigned to her group was Roman Reigns. Annalise had no idea who Roman was, but her tablemate, a petite blonde with pink highlights named Alexa, certainly did. 

“Oh my goodness, Anna! You got Roman “Hot As Sugarballs” Reigns in your group!”

Annalise’s confused look gave away her lack of knowledge of Mr.”Hot As Sugarballs”. Alexa gasped in surprise and turned back to her gossip buddy behind her.

“Sasha! She doesn’t know who Roman Reigns is!”

Sasha, the darling girl with beautiful, brown skin and dark eyes looked unamused. She tossed her blue dyed hair behind her shoulder and shook her head at Alexa. 

“Not everyone is as obsessed with Reigns like you are, Bliss.”

“I’m not obsessed!” Alexa protested. “He’s just, so hot.”

Before the conversation could go any further, the bell rang and Annalise sighed in relief.

“Saved by the bell,” she thought as she grabbed her books and started to walk to the door. 

“Hey! Annalise, wait up!” 

“Spoke too soon,” she told herself as she turned around and was met with two of her partners. 

Both Canadians smiled down on their shorter classmate. Kevin leaned against the desk he stood next to while his red-headed counterpart jumped with excitement. Both had a piece of paper in their hands.

“We were thinking of some ideas for the project,” Kevin said bordly. 

“We made lists!” Sami said, happily shoving his piece of paper into her hand.

“List of Jericho?” Annalise joked, referring to Kevin’s former friend Chris Jericho.

Chris was an upperclassman who used to write lists of people who annoyed him. Annalise got herself on a list by telling him how truely annoying he was.

“There’s a big difference,” Kevin explained. “These lists were written by two actually intelligent people.”

Annalise chuckled and skimmed through Sami’s list, taking note of a few really good ideas she liked. She nodded and gave the list back then outstretched her hand for Kevin’s. With the same sly smile as before, Kevin handed her his list.

Annalise noticed almost instantly that the paper was mostly blank. Only one bullet point was written at the top of the page;

Let Sami come up with all the ideas 

“Wow,” she said sarcastically as she handed the paper back. “These are great and all but apparently we have one more person in our group.”

Both boy’s eyes lit up. Kevin’s smirk grew and Sami’s jumping intensified. Annalise furrowed her brows at their reactions. 

“Yeah, the big dog,” Kevin said, standing up straight and leading Annalise out of the classroom with Sami following them. 

Her confused look returned to her face. She quickly tried to go through her memory and put a face to the name. She allowed herself to be led throughout the halls as she did so. 

“You really don’t know who he is? He’s pretty hard to miss,” Sami remarked after she had visibly given up.

She threw him a wild glance and raised an eyebrow. 

“Don’t we have the same math class Sami? I tend to miss a lot,” the girl responded as she continued to walk. 

She really didn’t care where they were going. She knew most of the school like the back of her hand and their last class was her final class of the day, so rather than going back to her dorm alone, an adventure with the two reasons their last science teacher quit was more than welcomed. Annalise also wanted to know more about this mystery man everyone else seemed to know. 

“Well, you know Seth, right?” Kevin asked as he made the latina turn a corner. 

Her two toned friend came to her mind instantly. She went to highschool with him and witnessed his glow up first hand. She loved the guy, but what did he have to do with Roman Reigns?

“Rollins? Yeah, I know him.”

Kevin had her turn another corner into a hall she had no idea even existed. She didn’t have time to ask where they were going before he responded.

“Roman is his older brother.”

Annalise’s mouth dropped open. She tried to think back to highschool, certain that Seth had introduced her to an older brother, but the name that came to mind was not Roman.

“I thought his older brother was Ambrose. You know, Dean Ambrose?” 

The mention of the upperclassman made Sami shudder. Dean was an even bigger trouble maker than Kevin, and Sami knew all too well what it is like to get into a confrontation with him. Dean was the king of detention back in highschool and Annalise was pretty sure she'd seen the lunatic hanging out by the dorms more times than she could count, but she had no classes with him and never saw him in the halls. And surely no one was dumb enough to get the name  “Dean Ambrose” confused with “Roman Reigns”. 

“Yeah, that’s ONE of his older brothers, but he got another, Roman,” Sami explained as he fixed his hat.

“Everyone calls him the big dog,” KEvin added, coming to a stop at an opened locker.

With a nod, Annalise stopped with him. She looked around and noticed a few upperclassmen she recognized. Randall Orton, Natalya Hart, Drew Mcintyre, Lacey Evans, even Alan Jones Styles. Some waved at Annalise and glared at her companions, others did the opposite. And while she did enjoy seeing them all and exploring this new hallway, Annalise saw no reason for her friends and herself to be there. 

“Why did you take me here?” She asked, leaning against the lockers.

Kevin smirked once again and glanced at the locker. 

“To see our other porr assignment sucker,” he said as he slammed the opened locker shut.

Before even a breath could be taken, Kevin was pushed into the locker. Sami and Annalise jumped back and looked up at the mountain of a man that was responsible. He was much taller than the three sophomores, with long, black hair tied into a bun and grey eyes. Part of Annalise wondered if he was wearing contacts, another part was wondering how high she would have to jumped to slap him for pushing her associate into the locker. 

“Hey, ride or die. Even for these fools,” she thought. 

As she took a step towards the male, Kevin spoke.

“Woah, woah, woah, big dog, chill” 

With wide eyes, Annalise realized that THIS was Roman Reigns. For once she could agree with Alexa, he was hot.

And she did recognize him. She remembered seeing him picking up Seth and Dean back in highschool. She also remembered seeing him sitting in his car, watching carefully as Dean pushed her into a bush while she was walking with Seth. She even remembered seeing him standing off to the side as Dean tried to awkwardly apologize the next day. How come she never noticed him here? 

“Because you’ve been too focused on school,” She thought. “And….other stuff.”

She was pulled back into reality when a deep, deep voice rattled her chest. It took her about five seconds to realize it was Roman talking. 

“What do you want, Owens?”

Annalise’s dazzlement soon turned back into anger as he pushed Kevin once again before he could answer.

“You’re our partner in a project,” Annalise nearly growled. “You would’ve known that if you had the common sense to show to class.”

The samoan’s cold gaze went from Kevin down to the small latina and the hint of amusement in them filled Annalise with more rage. 

“I know you,”he stated, studying her.

She felt his eyes look over her green dyed hair. She felt his eyes bounce from her pierced eyebrow to her pierced nose. His gray eyes stared into her brown ones, then those very eyes skimmed over her appearance. Annalise felt her face heat up as she got angrier. 

“Oh?” She said, trying to keep her composure. “Well, considering that I just found out who you are two seconds ago, I can officially say where you stand on the popularity chart.”

The tall man’s eyes lost all amusement in them. Kevin noticed and stood up straight, ready for a fight. Behind Annalise, Sami glared at Roman, trying, and failing, to intimidate the bigger man. 

Then Roman started to laugh. If Annalise thought his voice rattled her, she was not prepared for his laugh. 

“You’re gonna be fun,” Roman said between breaths. “A project, huh? Alright then, you three can come by my dorm around, let's say five?” 

The Canadians looked between themselves and their female partner. Satisfied, all three nodded.

“Alright, your dorm at five,” Annalise mumbled, keeping a wary eye on him.

His demeter changed in a blink of an eye. He no longer looked so big and bad. His smile lit up the hall as he playfully punched Kevin in the arm. A playful punch Kevin returned.

“Wait,” Sami interrupted after a moment of deep thinking. “Are your brothers going to be there?”

Roman shrugged. “Seth is my roommate, so he’ll probably be there. “ He glanced at Annalise as he said that. 

Annalise knew he saw her smile at the mention of his puppy-like brother, but she hoped he thought nothing of it. Don’t need that rumor going around.

“And the other one?” Sami tried to ask casually. 

Almost everyone knew about Sami’s confrontation with Dean. During an argument out in the courtyard, Dean brought Sami’s sexuality confusion into the mix. Now there was a rumor going around that Dean felt sorry and didn’t actually mean to bring up such a touchy subject, but Sami didn’t believe it. He told anyone that believed otherwise that Dean could never keep the truth from his eyes. When he started calling Sami out, in front of multiple classmates no less, his crazy eyes told Sami that he meant and believed every word. Dean’s crazy eyes turned into black eyes by the time their confrontation was over. Sami, on the other hand, had a broken nose, a busted lip, and a bruised pride.

Roman’s gaze softened at Sami’s nervous-like behavior. He was there when the argument went down, he was the one who pulled Dean off of him. Roman had felt guilty for not telling Dean to stop once he got to dangerous waters, but Dean was his little brother. He was taught to stand behind his family, no matter the choices they make. Even if they are really dumb ones. 

“Dean is….unpredictable. He may be there, he may not. If he is, I swear he’ll be on his best behavior,” Roman assured him. “And Samuel, Dean really didn’t mean to offend you, he was losing an argument and took a low blow.”

Annalise and Kevin looked at each other at Sami. The ginger was staring off down the hallway, trying to stay calm and act cool. He finally looked up at Roman after a moment of silence.

“It’s Sami.”

Roman seemed to understand that the smaller man was not trying to hear him defend his brother’s actions. The samoan simply just nodded and checked his watch.

“I have to go, see you three at five,” he stated, glancing up from his watch.

“Yeah, see ya,” Sami mumbled, already walking off. 

Annalise and Kevin followed silently, leaving Roman Reigns behind them.

“Well that was...interesting,” Annalise said, falling into step with Sami on his left side.

“Yeah,” Kevin agreed, walking on Sami’s right. “You okay, Sami?”

Sami took a deep breath and nodded. The further they walked, the clearer his eyes became.

“Yeah,yeah, I’m fine.” He said. “I think I’m going to skip my next class though.”

Kevin wrapped his arm around Sami’s shoulder. Annalise intertwined her fingers with Sami’s. Sami glanced at both of them and smiled.

“Well,” Kevin said, flicking Sami’s ear. “If you’re skipping class, so am I.”

With a chuckle, Annalise nodded. 

“I’m already finished with my classes for the day, wanna head to my dorm and get beat in some video games?” 

Both boy’s smiles grew. Ignoring the look some classmates like Bobby Lashely and Daniel Bryan threw their way, the three of them walked to the doors.

“You’re on, grasshead!” Kevin exclaimed, making Sami laugh. 

And while they walked out, Kevin discreetly flicked off the students who dared to look at him and his friends funny.

Bobby and Daniel certainly got the message.

[drariellevalentine]

Medically Inevitable

Chapter 3- Eye-widening Events

Characters:- Arielle Valentine, Sienna Trinh, Elijah Greene, Jackie Varma, Landry Olsen, Ethan Ramsey, Diana Hudson, Kyra Santana, Bryce Lahela

Pairing:- Arielle Valentine x Ethan Ramsey

Warnings:- Death, Miscarriages, PTSD etc.

General PoV:-

Sunlight peeks through the blush tinted curtains in Arielle’s bedroom. Her most relatable song “Older”, by Sasha Sloan plays from her phone, waking her gently. She rises slowly from her queen sized bed, taking her time to follow through her morning routine. After witnessing a vivid sunrise with the accompaniment of a cup of tea, she pins her hair up and steps in her shower. One relaxing shower later, she goes into her walk-in closet and slips on the outfit she picked out last night- a raspberry velvet fitted top paired with white leggings and white pumps. If there’s one thing that Arielle Cerise Valentine loves, it’s jewellery. She goes to the other end of her closet and slips on a pair of matching earrings. Lastly, her mother’s pendant necklace. She felt it was calling to her. After finishing her usual makeup routine and fishtail braid, she steps into the living room, following a delicious scent.

Arielle’s PoV:-

I step into the kitchen to find Sienna and the others laying out a huge breakfast spread. “Oh my god! Guys, when did you even find the time to do this?”

“We wanted to thank you and we all thought we should have a nice roomie breakfast.”, says Sienna.

We all take a seat and eat as much as we possibly could. “Sienna, I swear you had a private chef help you whip up this stuff. It’s so delicious.” Everybody agrees. Sienna blushes and thanks everyone.

“Anyways, I hooked up the TV and bass speakers last night! We are officially ready for a housewarming party!, says Elijah. Everyone starts chiming in ideas for the party, as Sienna notes them down on her phone. We all give her a share of money for the party and decide Sienna and me will go shopping later.

A little while later...

“Have you guys heard the rumours?”, asks Elijah.

“About what?”, you innocently ask.

“About Banerji suddenly quitting.”, Jackie nonchalantly says.

“What?”, Landry exclaims. You nearly spit out your food. “Naveen...quitting! No! It can’t be.”, your mind races.

Landry keeps on rambling, “No going away party?....No announcement?...”

You can’t believe it. Your mind goes to the events of last night, where your godfather and Dr. Ramsey were arguing. Snaps snaps you out of your reverie. “It’s getting late, Ari. You should head for your shift.” You wave goodbye to everyone and head down to the parking lot. Sliding into your Lexus, you drive towards Edenbrook.

Ethan’s PoV:-

You step out of your car, having parked it at your usual spot. You’re about to head inside when you receive a page. Apparently, one of your residents decided to go golfing. You’re about to head inside when you see a rose gold Lexus park next to your BMW. “I’ve never seen this car before, and an excellent driver too.”, he thinks. Out steps a chic dressed woman with a little bag on her back. “Who is this woman?”, you wonder. And that’s when it catches your eye, the violet ombré at the end of her braid. She locks her car, slipping her keys into her pocket while putting on her white coat. “Rookie.”

She looks up, her violet irises laced with surprise. “Dr. Ramsey, Good Morning!”, she says with a cheerful smile. You greet her back. She turns to leave, not wanting for her to leave you say, “Wait. Follow me.” She drops off her belongings and wordlessly follows me. You lead her to the patient who’s doctor decided to ditch his job.

The patient lights up at the sight of her, I mean who wouldn’t! “Goddamnit Ramsey, what is wrong with you today!”

“Are you my doctor?”, the patient asks.

Arielle turns to me with a questioning look.

“This is Kyra Santana. Her doctor decided to ditch his responsibilities so she’s yours now.”

“Ooh yes! Show me off!”, Kyra exclaims.

Arielle chuckles while picking up her chart. “Kyra Santana, age 28, fractured radius in need of casting.”

“Is that all?”, you ask.

“Yes.”, she answers.

“Kyra, tell Dr. Valentine what is actually wrong with you.”

“I’m afraid it’s cancer, my very hot doctor.”

“What?”, Arielle frowns in confusion.

“Check the cell count on the last page, indicating of?...”, you probe.

“Large cell neuroendocrine carcinoma!”

“Yeah, in my left lung.”

“Dr. Valentine, sometimes the problem isn’t always in front of us. You should thoroughly read through a patient’s chart. Nowadays, they let pretty much anyone become healthcare professionals.”

“If you’re here for cancer treatment, how did you break your arm?”

“I saw a bike abandoned by the subway and tried to ride it. Apparently, I’m not very good at it.”, she says gesturing to her arm.

“YOLO huh?”, she laughs.

Kyra laughs.

“Dr. Valentine, what is Kyra’s treatment plan?”

“Well, first we need to cast her arm and then”-

You interrupt her, “Good. Now do that.” You swiftly exit the room.

Arielle’s PoV:-

“Wait! What about”-

“Don’t worry, female version of McDreamy, I already have a treatment plan and a CT scheduled right after this.”

“You should know that I’m straight, but I totally support 🏳️‍🌈.”, you ramble in a worry that Kyra might take offence.

She starts laughing so hard, “I was teasing you, I know that you are straight.”

Feeling embarrassed you say, “Let’s cast that arm, shall we.” You cast it firmly.

“Would you like to sign my cast?”, you write ‘Miss McDreamy’ on it. “Damn! You have legible.. no really pretty handwriting.”, Kyra says. You thank and wave to her.

Later, you are running an errand for Ines. “ Hey Arielle, do me a favour and give these labs to Dr. Ramsey. He’ll be in Room 413.”

You enter the room looking at your pager and say, “Excuse me Dr. Ramsey, Dr. Delarosa asked me to”- You finally look up to see Chief Emery with her hand on his cheek, whispering furtively but quietly. “Oh!...um...I...I’ll just leave these here.” You can bet a million bucks that your cheeks just turned 50 shades of red. You run out of the room and accidentally bump into someone.

“Sorry!”

“Hey Elle!”

“Elle?”

“Yeah, short for Arielle.”

“Okay.” You notice Kyra sitting a bed. “And where are you off to, Madam Flatterer?”

“About to be prepped for a lobectomy, assisted by yours truly.”

“What?!”

“After the CT scan results came back, it kind of happened pretty fast.”

You pull Bryce aside. “Take care of her for me.”

“Don’t worry, Dr. Zimmerman is an amazing surgeon.”

“She’ll be golden.”

“Woah! I never thought I’d see Dr. McDreamy fighting with another Dr. McDreamy.”, you laugh as Bryce wheels Kyra into the OR.

You head down into the ER to see if there are any cases, where you see Aurora, whose ass is being kissed. “Hey Aurora.”

“What?”

“I said hi. It’s legal to greet someone.”

“Well it shouldn’t be.” Just then, you hear the ambulance siren. You both rush to the entrance as the ambulance doors’ open.

A very muscular paramedic steps out, helping an unconscious woman with an oxygen mask on.

“Diana Hudson, office fire, all of her coworkers got out but she’s pregnant and couldn’t move fast enough.”

“How long has she been unconscious?”, you ask.

“She fainted in the ambulance.”

“Serious smoke inhalation, but I hope I got them out in time.”

“ Wait? You got them out! What about the firefighters?”

“They were taking too long.”, he says with a shrug.

“That was really brave of you. Not many people would have done that...”

“Rafael Aveiro.”

“Dr. Arielle Valentine.”

“I’ll see you around, Dr. Valentine.”

After Diana gets admitted, you search her phone for her emergency contacts. You’re scrolling down when one particular contact catches your eye. ‘Dr. Ethan Ramsey’

“No way!” You rush to Dr. Ramsey’s office and knock. “Come in.”

You enter the room. “What do you want, Rookie?”

“I was going through my patient’s emergency contacts when I saw your name. Do you know a Diana Hudson?”

“Diana?” He follows me to the patient’s room as I told him what happened.

You enter the room and are relieved to find Diana awake.

“Hi Diana, I’m”-

“Ethan!”, the woman exclaims.

“Diana! What have you gotten into this time?”

“There was a fire and I couldn’t get out. Luckily, you had Superman on payroll!” You laugh.

“I’ll call your sisters and fly them in from Arizona. I’m so glad you’re alright.”

“Diana, this is Dr. Valentine. Dr. Valentine, Diana was my first patient when I was an intern.”

“What were you in for?”

“Burst appendix, I was totally freaked out but Ethan calmed me down. Even kept in touch over the years.”

“That’s so sweet!”, you exclaim.

You take a stethoscope and warm it on your palm. “So, was Dr. Ramsey always like this?”

“Oh yes, he’s aged like a fine wine, don’t you think?”, she teasingly says that leaves you giggling.

“Dr. Valentine, the examination if you don’t mind.”

You run the resonator and take all her vitals.

“Did the EMT manage to get my purse?” You hand it to her. She searches for something and frowns.

“Is everything alright, Diana?, you ask.

“Yeah, it’s just I saw this adorable stuffed frog and thought it would have been perfect for my little tadpole here, I know it’s silly.”

“No it’s not. It’s absolutely beautiful, in fact Dr. Ramsey and I can go and get it for you.” You give him a pleading look. He agrees and you both step out of the room.

“How are her vitals?”

“They’re all fine, but her breathing is short and her elevated B.P should be low. I’ll order a chest x-ray and a urine sample.

“Good work. Drop off the labs and meet me at the hospital’s entrance in 10 minutes.”

You get the sample and order the x-ray, then walk towards the entrance, leaving your white coat behind. You see Dr. Ramsey, sitting in the driver’s seat of a BMW. You ride shotgun.

“Nice car, Dr. Ramsey.”

“Thank you.”

He turns on the radio and a concerto comes on.

“So...Are you and Chief Emery.. um...in a relationship?”, you tentatively ask.

“I don’t advertise my private life at work.”

“We’re not at work.”, you counter.

He sighs, “Before she became Chief, we were in an on and off relationship. As of last year, no.”

“What about you?” You’re surprised.

“I ended a six year relationship two months ago. He was jealous that I had gotten matched into Edenbrook and he didn’t, so he decided to screw with my then best friend.”, you confide. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be telling you all this.”

“It’s fine. And for what it’s worth, you should never let anybody hinder your career.”

“Trust me, I learned that lesson a long time ago.” He shoots you a look. Luckily, you’ve arrived at the burning building.

You exit the car and say, “Let’s hope it didn’t fall there.”, gesturing to the raging inferno. You and him scan the surroundings for the little toy. You’re about to give up when... “Look!” He points to a drain, where a green toy is stuck. You both rush and take a look, it’s deep and dark.

“Hell no. I am not going down there! Haven’t you seen IT?”

“It’s just a movie, anyways you won’t be able to reach it.”

“Can you hold my waist?”

“What?”, he looks at you like you’re an idiot.

“I’m very flexible. I can reach down there and grab it with a flashlight but I’ll fall down because I don’t have any support. If you hold me...”

“Fine.”

You lay down and wiggle your upper body down into the drain while he holds your lower waist tightly.

You twist incredibly low and he has to hold your hips instead. “Almost there.....Got it!”

Dr. Ramsey pulls you up from the waist. “How did you manage to get that?”

“A girl’s got to have some secrets.” He hands you a towel to wipe yourself off and a little bag for the plastic toy.

“I’ll get this sterilised and given to Diana.”

“I’ve never seen someone go to this lengths for their patient.”

“Well I’m not like most doctors.”

“Well you could have done it to impress me.” You arrive at Edenbrook.

“Not really. When Diana was telling us about the little frog she bought for her baby, you could see that beautiful smile on her face. There’s nothing more beautiful than a mother’s love towards her child.” You see Dr. Ramsey tense up, but you decide to say nothing. Thanking him for the ride you head inside.

Some time later, Danny hands you the results for Diana. You’re reading through them when, your heart stops. Diana has preeclampsia, the same diagnosis your mother had 24 years ago. You rush to find Dr. Ramsey and hand him the charts. His face falls.

“They’re in serious trouble, aren’t they.”, you say sadly.

“Come on, Rookie. Let’s go tell her.” Your face falls as you imagine her face. “That’s the job, Rookie. Nothing we can do about it.”

You enter the room and Diana notices your faces. “What is it?”

“Have you heard of preeclampsia, Diana? It’s a condition that affects 1 out of 10 pregnant women. It means that the blood flow from your placenta is slowing down, depriving the baby of vital nutrients.”

“Does that mean my little tadpole is in trouble?”

“No, it just means that we’ll have to deliver the baby earlier.”, he says.

“No, I won’t. It’s too early. If he’s not in danger right now, then I won’t.”

“Diana, listen. I know this is scary but if you wait, it might be too late. There are post-birth complications but this is the best way.”

“No, I won’t.” Dr. Ramsey leaves the room.

You turn to her, desperate, with tears in your eyes, “I know what it’s like Diana. My mother had preeclampsia too. She was in the exact same place as you, and by waiting, it cost us a great deal. But I survived, I’m living proof. Please don’t wait. A child should never have to grow up without their mother. It’s the worst form of torture a child could ever face.” Realising tears are streaming down your face, you rapidly leave the room and accidentally crash into someone.

“Hey, hey, hey. What’s wrong?” You look up to see Bryce. He wipes your tears and pulls you aside.

“It’s okay, it’s just one of my patients hit really close to home.”

“A beautiful face like yours shouldn’t cry. Come with me, I am making it my personal mission to cheer you up. He leads you to a milkshake bar a few blocks away and orders a large Oreo milkshake with a ton of ice cream.

“You really know the way to a girl’s heart. I mean it, thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Anyways, you remind me of my sister, she’s all the way in Hawaii. So you can be my little teenage sister.”

“I’m not that young.”, you roll your eyes.

“How old are you?”

“24.”

“I’m 27.”

“So what? I graduated a few years early.”

The huge milkshake arrives. Bryce grabs two spoons and hands one to you.

“Dig in!” Between the two of you, you manage to finish the whole thing.

“That was absolutely delightful.” You open your wallet but Bryce doesn’t let you.

“No way am I letting you pay!”

He pays and you both exit the store. Suddenly your pager beeps. “911 for Diana! I gotta go, bye!”

You rush towards the hospital and run into the waiting room, breathless. You find Dr. Ramsey sitting in one of the chairs, attempting to speak you end up coughing. He looks up. You’re finally able to speak. “Wh...what happened..Dr. Ramsey?”, you manage to ask with your chest heaving.

“Diana had a seizure. The baby’s just been delivered via c-section. It’s 50-50 he’ll survive the night.” Your heart tightens. “Diana?”

“She died.” Your throat tightens, it’s hard to breathe. You take deep breaths, recalling what your psychologist said. “I’m so sorry, Dr. Ramsey”-

“I’m fine.” He gets up and leaves; turning around to say, “Go home, Arielle.” He leaves. You can’t find it in your heart to leave and find your legs leading you to the NICU. You step inside and find Dr. Lozoya.

“Is is okay if I give this toy to him? His mother would have wanted him to have it. It’s been sterilised.”

“Of course. Poor thing, we’ll know in the morning.”

She leaves, leaving you alone. You place the little tadpole near the baby.

Your breath catches in your throat as your eye catches the name. ‘Ethan Hudson.’ You want to help him but don’t know how. You start humming one of your favourite arias. One that your mother used to sing as you stand near the cube.

Ethan’s PoV:-

You receive word from one of the nurses that Diana’s baby is in the NICU. You’re walking near when you hear a mesmerising voice, humming a very well known French aria. You follow the voice and find Arielle humming, standing near the baby.

“What are you doing here? I told you to go home.”

“I don’t like the fact that he has to fight for his life alone. I’m staying with him.”

“Do you mind if I can join you?”

“Not at all.”

You sit beside her on the loveseat.

“Ethan...”, she whispers. You’re shocked that she just called you by your first name.

“Excuse me?”

She doesn’t break her trance. Instead she answers, “Ethan...the baby’s name is Ethan, Ethan Hudson. She named him after you.”

You’re speechless. Your eyes flash towards the name tag. “She was right, she had named him after you.”, you think. Your throat tightens.

“You must have known her pretty well.”

“I did. I didn’t have many friends back then. I just meant to check on her, knowing that my patients were out there, living their live to the fullest,.. it really kept me going. She was recently divorced and feeling alone, so she insisted we meet for coffee. It turned into more emails and coffees, and Sunday roasts in between.”

You can see that her eyes are red. “Does it ever get easier?”, she asks.

“Grieving for the loss of a patient isn’t a bad thing. I would be more concerned if you didn’t. To answer your question, we have a certain process when it comes to... the end stage. It helps the family to cope a bit more easier.” Her face remains the same.

“The first patient I lost was in my 4th week. I didn’t make any mistakes though. He had an inoperable malignant tumour in his brain. He wasn’t much older than I am now. It was hard.” She turns to look at you, her violet irises meeting yours.

“She trusted us, she trusted her life and her baby’s. Maybe if I had talked to her some more, she would have agreed sooner.”

“She gave her consent to the surgery, but she had a seizure in between. She said to me that you were the one who had convinced her. How did you do it?”

She takes a deep breath. “I...My mother was diagnosed with preeclampsia in her late third trimester. Since my brother was perfectly healthy, she didn’t want to deliver me yet and kept putting it off. “It...”, her voice breaks. “It cost her her life.”

“I’m so sorry, Arielle. You should have told me, I would have taken you off this case.”

“Do you know what the worst part is? She was fine, after she gave birth. We were all so happy that she had survived, and then a day later, she died. An artery was slightly nicked, causing internal bleeding. They didn’t notice until it was too late.” Tears are streaming down her face.

You wipe them away. “I thought, at least I could save her, but I couldn’t.”

She wipes her face and says, “I’m sorry, I’m the one who’s supposed to be offering condolences.”

“It’s okay.” She wordlessly places her hand on your thigh. You place your hand on top of hers. You see her drift off to sleep and you do the same.

“Bzzzt....Bzzzt...” You wake up to see Arielle, fallen asleep on your shoulder. And then, you see baby Ethan, his heartbeat strong. A smile spreads across your lips.

“Arielle....Arielle?” You gently tap her cheek.

Arielle’s PoV:-

You faintly hear someone calling your name. Your eyes flutter open to Dr. Ramsey’s face. You realise that you’ve been resting your head on his shoulder. You jerk up and apologise, “Oh my god! I’m so sorry. Your shirt’s ruined!” Your cheeks turn red for the second time today. “It’s alright. Look.” He points to baby Ethan’s cubicle. You suddenly remember where you are and jump up and rush over to see. There he is lying peacefully, breathing in and out, heart beating strong. “Je suis si fier de toi petit têtard. Tu ressembles à ta mère.(I’m so proud of you, little tadpole. You look just like your mother.)”, you whisper in French to the baby.

“Tu parles français?(You speak French?), he asks.

“Oui. Très couramment en fait. Ma mère est ... était française.(Yes. Quite fluently actually. My mother is...was French.), you reply.

Your pager buzzes. “Crap! I have rounds in 20 minutes.”

“You should go.” You turn to leave. “Thank you Arielle.”

“You’re welcome.” You leave the room and head towards the locker room to shower and change.

Thrity minutes into the shift, and suddenly the central paging system goes off, asking all the medical interns to gather in the atrium.

Sighing, I ask Sarah to run a blood test of my patient in room 508 before hurrying down the halls.

God knows what happened this time!

"Any idea what's wrong?" I nudge Jackie reaching the group in the atrium. Sienna is yet to join us but everyone else is here.

Jackie just shrugs.

A few minutes later Sienna joins us. "What happened guys?"

"No idea," I answer as Elijah and Landry is fanning over some comic.

"Good morning interns," Dr.Emery tries to grab our attention.

She's standing in front us, near the reception desk, Dr. Ramsey standing by her side. And unlike Dr. Emery he seems angry and exasperate.

"As many of you may have heard, Dr. Banerji is now a person of early retirement," She starts. Your mind starts racing again, no matter how much you try to calm it.

“Dr. Banerji is retiring? But why? He loves treating patients, saving lives. There's no way he wants to leave all this on his own.”, you think. Harper Emery keeps saying things but I can hardly concentrate.

“He left. I won’t be able to talk to him, apologize to him, bond with him.” All my hope shatters.

"-which leaves and empty position in the Diagnostics team. And this year you guys will be competing each other for that position. Dr. Ramsey will explain you the rest."

That's the last thing I hear her say before Dr. Ramsey takes over.

"We'll be evaluating you every week on the basis of how well you solve your cases."

"Your weekly evaluation result will be published in the announcement board every week," he continues. "Anyone who wants to join drop by my office before midnight tomorrow to sign up your names."

"You all can go and resume your regular activities now," Dr. Emery smiles before walking away.

Dr. Ramsey too walks away but towards the hall where construction of the new block is going on.

"I can't believe they will be taking interns on their beloved Diagnostics Team!" Landry says surprised.

"Development of the interns must be so important to them," Sienna says thoughtfully and Jackie scoffs.

Leaving the group to talk I rush after Dr. Ramsey.

“Dr. Ramsey, wait," I call after him. He stops and turns around.

"I- is this what you were talking about with Dr. Emery yesterday?"

"Yes," he sighs.

"But you said that we aren’t ready yet."

"Because you aren’t," he stops then again continues thoughtfully, " But are any of us truly ready for anything."

He says, walking away leaving me alone to deal with my thoughts.

“Naveen left. I don’t know where he lives, why he left; hell! I don’t even know if he’s in the US or not.”

“Cosa farò adesso!?(What will I do now!?)”, you scream in Italian.

[aerialflight]

Fic Recs

I haven’t done this in a while, recommending fics. But there were some fics these past couple of months that put a smile on my face, so I want to spread that joy to others. Seriously, they’re so good and I want to shove all these recs at people and have them appreciate them as much as I do. Everyone stay safe and I hope these recs make staying home easier for everyone!

-

[Fullmetal Alchemist]

maestoso by novalotypo

Edward Elric is about eleven when he stands up, makes an extended effort to knock as many books off the old bastard’s shelves as he can, and says, “Fuck the military. Al, you interested in music at all?”

Everybody's got their own ideas of retirement.

The Elrics don't even do retirement, what with the world trying to blow itself up every other month, but this shit has got to take the fucking cake.

(You want a fic that’ll make you cry tears of uncontrollable laughter? I point you to this fic. The shenanigans, the fact this is a time travel fic, the fucking headaches the Elrics cause, the I-Have-No-Fucks-To-Give attitude. Legend.)

-

[The Magnus Archives]

we raise it up by savrenim

Jonathan Sims reads a book and saves the world; although maybe the real salvation is the friends he makes along the way.

OR: in which Jon is not the only Archival monster for very long, Sasha James is competent, Tim Stoker finds some catharsis, Helen Richardson is sexy, Melanie makes a very successful youtube channel revamp, and Martin Blackwood gets to brew a lot of new friends tea.

(This is literally the most creative, fucking inspired tma fic I’ve ever read. You literally will never be able to guess what happens next and it’s just so much fun.)(Kinda Time Travel, you’ll understand what I mean if you read it, it’s so well done and amazing.)(The characterization for Sasha makes me want to weep, I’ve never seen her characterized this way before and it makes SO MUCH SENSE.)(@savrenim you are a QUEEN and you inspire me to be a better writer.)

-

[Marvel]

Crash Landing by Nyxelestia

"You could've left me there," Adrian murmured, jerking his head back towards the burning beach in the distance. "For Stark and his DODC people to find me. Liz and Doris' lives would've actually fallen apart with my arrest, and all my work to take care of them would've gone to waste. You could've just left me there...but you didn't. So I'll make you another deal."

Peter clenched his hands, fists shaking hard. "I'm giving you a second chance - but if you go back to what you were doing...I can't make any promises."

"It would be stupid of me to expect you to, after all this," Adrian said. He looked at Peter, at the hints of bruises and all the blood. He had trouble reconciling this fragile-looking kid with the superhuman who's been destroying his business, his daughter's homecoming date with the boy he'd nearly killed. "That's not my deal. My deal is, we both walk away, and neither of us say a word about any of this to Liz. Anything else - we'll cross those bridges as we come to them."

Swallowing, the boy nodded.

Instead of gift-wrapping the Vulture for Happy to find, Peter lets Mr. Toomes go.

(Honestly, I’m disappointed in the fact there’s not many Vulture-centric fics out there. This was so great and Peter was wonderfully characterized here along with Ned.)(I have a deep craving now for more Adrian Toomes fics and I blame this fic for that. I don’t regret it one bit.)

-

[The Witcher]

all some children do is work by some_stars

It's two children, he realizes as they slowly sit up. They look about eight or nine, not that he's much judge of children's ages. One is a girl, dark-haired, in a shabby dress. The other is a boy. His clothes aren't much better, and his hair isn't much lighter than the girl's, but his eyes—

His eyes, Jaskier realizes with a distant sense of horror, are gold like a cat's. His mind makes one more valiant effort to keep from connecting the obvious dots and recognizing them, and then it finally does.

"How in the unholy fuck," Jaskier says to no one, "did this shit happen?"

(So sweet it’ll give you cavities. Break your own heart reading this, I dare you.)

of music and motion and love by WriteThroughTheNight

When Jaskier was four, he slipped his mother’s watch and went to the field to gather a bouquet of dandelions. He climbed back into the yard, as stealthy as a child really cared to be, and crept over to the barn. In the barn, lived a secret. (The man he thought his father said the secret was a monster, a plague. His mother said the secret was his sister.)

OR

Jaskier comes from a far humbler background, and would really like to know why Yennefer never came back for her youngest brother.

(YENNEFER AND JASKIER AS SIBLINGS ENOUGH SAID. FIENOWPAFE)

to render it transparent by theundiagnosable

Geralt wakes up warm, peaceful, and utterly content, which is how he knows that something is severely wrong.

(Where Geralt wakes up in the future and Jaskier and Geralt live at the Coast.)(They are Disasters. What else is new.)(Everything’s lovely and emotionally repressed.)

-

[Game of Thrones]

if I give you my heart, will you promise not to break it? by janie_tangerine

Ship: Brienne/Jaime

“It’s not broken,” she protests.

“Please,” Ronnet goes on, “it’s all red. Red hearts like that are broken and their owners are either useless or more effort than they’re worth. ‘Course you would get a broken one, who else would want you?”

“It’s not,” Brienne hisses, and at that he stops talking. She realizes her voice had turned cold. Very cold. A coldness that doesn’t belong to her, she’s never sounded like that, but it seems to come from the pulsing warmth in her hands, again - “and the day I find him you’ll see he’s not broken or damaged or unworthy. And I sure as the seven hells hope no one got saddled with yours.

in which soulmates find each other through one of them having the other's heart.

or, in which Brienne gets a mostly broken one the day Jaime Lannister kills Aerys Targaryen.

(So this is a series, just want to put that out there. And I read through all of them cause I just couldn’t do otherwise. Brienne is obviously the bravest, most noble, most amazing of course. And Jaime makes me want to punch a wall because feels.)(This soulmate idea is so creatively and well done, has become one of my favorite soulmate tropes.)(There are a lot of interesting pairings in this series and the way the author went about the relationships and this expanding world has me giving all the yeses.)(Please read!!!)

-

[Gilmore Girls]

Weather Me by missgoalie75

Ship: Paris Geller/Jess Mariano

A year in the life of Paris and Jess.

(PARIS GELLER AND JESS MARIANO AT THEIR VERY BEST HOLY SHIT!!! I can hear their voices in every line, every thought, every damn interaction and I am so in love it's ridiculous. Paris in particular won me over, I have become incredibly fond of her and it's honestly brilliant! And Jess has a beautiful mind and I love him, I do. God, do I.)(missgoalie75 did it again.)

Living With It by thesaltyavocado

Ship: Lindsay Lister/Jess Mariano

#Future Fic, #Post-Season/Series Finale, #So Your Ex is Now Your Step-Cousin, #And You're Dating Her Ex's Ex!, #A Step-by-Step Guide to Getting Over It

(There’s no summary, it’s a series, and I’m in LOVE. I am a sucker for really, really well done rare pairs, and this is the rarest of them all. Go for it. It’s beautiful.)(Also, the author is literally the BEST, the VERY BEST at making me want to ship people I never even thought of. They’re awesome.)(check out all their fics, I went on a spree and you should too.)

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[The Hunger Games]

Speechless by thesaltyavocado

Ship: Haymitch Abernathy/Effie Trinket

Effie was kind, she was warm, she offered comfort to anyone who needed it, microphones be damned. She had a reputation for generosity amongst the Victors that Haymitch hadn't paid any attention to, because he was so paranoid about showing his hand that he barely even said her name around other people, barely even acknowledged her existence. Everyone thought he hated her, Beetee had explained. Everyone knew the stories about how he'd made her cry in the sponsor's lounge at the opening of the 61st Games, how he'd blown up at Cecelia that time when she'd asked him to pass a message onto Effie for her. Is that why none of you assholes ever liked me? Haymitch had asked. No, we didn't like you because you were a prick, Beetee told him, which was fair enough.

(The best, and I mean the best fic I’ve ever read regarding this pairing. Nothing is ever going to top this. Nothing.)(The WORLDBUILDING. FUCK.)(Literally everyone is perfectly characterized in new, heartbreaking ways and I just, fuck. Fuck.)(I don’t care if you’re not into the fandom, this will make you fall in love and see the characters with new eyes and it’s absolutely stellar.)(I want to cry.)(You don’t even have to be here for the ship, just be here for the writing, characterization, the WORLDBUILDING, fucking everything.)(Please.)(This fic NEEDS more love.)(I have fallen in love with Effie Trinket.)(This is my life now.)

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[Harry Potter]

Walkabout by thesaltyavocado for teethandstars

Ship: Hermione Granger/Sirius Black

"You are always far too handsome for your own good," Hermione says, "in any timeline."

(The author strikes again when it comes to shipping people I don’t expect to love, yet here it is. Such an interesting fic where the time travel already happened and it’s the aftermath that the fic covers.)(Again, characterization off the fucking charts and I just want to wrap myself up in their words and live there.)(A story about broken people trying to find peace within themselves.)

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[Stranger Things]

and you hunger for the time by missgoalie75

Ship: Steve Harrington/Kali Prasad

after the battle of starcourt, steve figured the rest of the summer would involve not working, waiting for his busted ribs and face to heal, hanging out with robin and the party, and trying to ignore the panic he feels whenever he thinks about his future. All that does happen, but other unexpected things happen too.

(Bet you didn’t see this ship coming, did you? Neither did I, yet here we are.)(missgoalie75 is the gift that keeps on giving.)(But in all seriousness this is my favorite characterization of Steve, hands down.)(This fic needs more kudos and comments and basically all the love it deserves.)(God tier characterization and relationship development.)

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[Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas]

nfwmb by perennial

Ship: Eris/Proteus

The goddess of discord isn't careless enough to fall in love with a do-gooder mortal prince—unless, of course, she doesn't know it's happening.

(Okay, hear me out. I know it’s weird, I can feel the judgement coming from my screen. But I am weak in the face of rare pairings that actually work and the fact I fucking loved this movie ever since I was a kid, okay? So if anybody else loves this fandom as much as I do, stand up and take notice of this. I am here to tell you there are worthwhile fics to be read in this very, very small fandom.)

I'll keep turning down the hands that beckon me to come by deavors

Ship: Marina/Proteus/Sinbad

“Jealous?” Sinbad says, voice easily and casually mocking, but there’s something else under there, an undertone that speaks of so many things Marina isn’t even close to understanding.

“Extremely,” says Proteus, cracking a half-smile, but Marina feels like he’s not joking.

They stare at each other for a few moments. Marina’s gaze flickers between them. Sun and moon. She wishes—she doesn’t know what she wishes. Her heart is twisting again, but in a different way from before: as though it’s half-empty and longs to be full.

(You have no idea how in love I am with the idea of these three being in a poly relationship. No idea.)(I’ve been shipping all of them the moment I was introduced to the idea of polyamory relationships.)(This is THE poly ship for me.)(Nothing’s ever gonna come close. Nothing.)

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[Crossovers]

Trust Me, I'm an Alchemist by metisket

Fandoms: Yuri!!! on Ice, Fullmetal Alchemist

In which Yuri Plisetsky began life with the name Edward Elric, and this has made the world of figure skating a significantly stranger and more alarming place.

“Are you saying you lived a life of crime before you began skating?” “I’m gonna have to check the statute of limitations on a couple things and get back to you on that.”

(Meme Alien Edward, Ninja Alphonse who’ll smile at you as you Perish, Disaster Gay Victor, Disaster Gay Maniac Yuuri.)(If this isn’t incentive enough, the Elrics traumatizing and delighting social media with their Life Stories and their Life of Crime.)(Feral Elrics being Feral Elrics.)(It’s the kind of fic that gets better with every chapter, cause the shenanigans just keep ESCALATING.)

[sashamsmith]

[ SASHA SMITH. 22. FEMALE. SHE/HER] is here! They’ve lived in Silver Lake for [ 3 YEARS ] and are originally from [ CLEVELAND, OHIO ]. They are a [ PROSTITUTE ] and in their downtime love [ SMOKING ] and [ WATCHING TV ]. They look a lot like [ ELLE FANNING ] and live [ IN OASIS APTS ].

hello! it’s beth again :’) you probably don’t remember me because I stay for so little every time but I’ve been here many times before and I actually remember some of yous. anyways, here’s Sasha and you can read about her fucked up life under the cut.

tw for prostitution and all it’s merits, parental death and cancer. also for a convoluted and vague ass bio lol, because I’m still adjusting Sasha for Normal People rps, but the basics are here.

basics — Alexandra Marie Smith — doesn’t know who tf that is either — Cleveland born and raised — not above roasting either but she  A D O R E S  both her city and her state — Oct 17th 1998. birthday fell on Sweetest Day of that year lmaooo — libra sun, cancer moon, taurus rising — (I actually went and did her birth chart but considering it was inacurate nonsense I pulled this one out my ass) — has no idea what any of that means though. — doesn’t believe in signs or in much of anything, though you could say she’s looking for a miracle

early life shit — mom exited the picture fast, she needs less than a hand’s fingers to count memories with her and they’re all bad — raised by dad who was involved in gang activity. — dad was in and out of jail all her childhood — they were still pretty close and very much a team. — when he wasn’t in the slammer he owned a gas station somewhere in east Cleveland — you guessed it, it was often a front for shadier shit — she’s pumped gallons of gas, this girl — when she was in first grade there was another Alexandra in class, and a boy named Alex so her teacher, a second gen russian was like “yeh, imma call you Sasha” but she LOVED it — wouldn’t even answer to Alex anymore by the time her dad was out of jail that time, the name sticking — shitty school, shitty neighbourhood, shitty everything but a lot of fun was had tbh, shitty childhood of the “you don’t even realise it’s fucked up” variety — drugs and alcohol entered the picture pretty fast though having her dad to answer to meant she never went past the point of no return. — when she was 17 or thereabouts her dad got sick. wouldn’t get better. they started selling stuff and he started borrowing from Shade Central to get his chemo. — he died at some point between Sasha’s 19th birthday and Thanksgiving — they both knew he was gonna die and he had warned her beforehand to take what she can and get out because people he owed to would be coming for the house — her dad probably meant something like “go to your great-aunt in Columbus” but homegirl had a friend at the time who was planning to go to California so she jumped on a bus to LA with him right after the funeral — in her defense though she was 19, newly orphaned, newly homeless and sick to shit of snow — fell asleep in the bus at some point and when she woke up her friend had dashed with what was left of the money rip — she never heard of him again — considered hopping off too but with the ticket being the only thing she had left she kept riding until LA

LA / Frank era — one of the first people Sasha met in LA was Frank Hudson — he was tall, dark and handsome, of the silver fox variety and nice to her since day 1. the first thing he asked her was how long had it been since she last ate something — credits him with “saving her”, which is a polite, lovestruck way to say he became her pimp — she’s been working for him for the last three years and has been in love with him for about as long. he knows. — she sees him maybe once a week and lives for these times, even though she knows he doesn’t care/reciprocate. never says no to anything Frank asks of her. — lives in a tiny one-bedroom flat in Oasis. Frank pays for it. she lives on an allowance, pretty much. it’s glam. — the specifics of how they do business with Frank change per thread pretty much and I’m sorry but I can’t make up my mind and don’t wanna be that person with the detailed descriptions of prostitution on the dash. so lol we just roll w it for the time.

fun facts/trivia/personality things — she’s just an agreeable, submissive, passive pushover in general tbh. she’s perceptive enough to know when she’s being used or walked all over or whatever, but to the extent that she cares about it she thinks she probably deserves it. self love in the negatives with this one. — chain smokes like no tomorrow — love language is acts of service hella

[oneweekoneband]

Lorde, “The Louvre”

I’ve always had trouble pinpointing what was so special about “The Louvre,” what caused me to be so enamored with it. Lorde’s prose shines through as always (I mean, who else would’ve penned the line “Our days and nights are/ perfumed with ob-ses-sion,” splitting up the last word into syllabic staccatos as if she were spritzing it into the air and walking through its aroma), but “The Louvre” is an outlier on Melodrama for a few reasons, including (but not limited to)

The title: Ten other songs are titled after their respective chorus, but Melodrama’s fourth track derives its name from a line in the verse: “But we’re the greatest, They’ll hang us in the Louvre/ Down the back, but who cares, still the Louvre.” The phrases from the chorus don’t provide many title-worthy tidbits; “Lover” and “Megaphone to My Chest” don’t have the same ring as a romanticized and historical art museum in France, but that’s part of the beauty of “The Louvre.”

The production: “The Louvre” is the only song on Melodrama where a lone guitar accompanies Lorde, no filters or additional accompaniment until the chorus arrives. The sonic structure, a back-and-forth between the acoustic and electric, is mirrored on “Green Light,” holding out on synths and handclaps while the piano surges into the night, but its effect — the warmth of a guitar’s low timbre and the tension outlined in steady plucks — is never truly recreated. Piano balladry can only take you so far (more on that during “Liability”).

The lyrics: Melodrama is a break-up album. “Liability” is a song of sorrow, “Green Light” one of grudges, “Supercut” one of reminiscence. The majority of the tracklist is written in the wake of love; the exception is “The Louvre,” a song about being starry-eyed, when you wake for love.

All of this can be chalked up to aesthetic, but “The Louvre” is also more than the sum of its distinguishing features.

In pop music, lines almost seem market-tested and maximized for relatability, vague blanket statements that anyone can say “SAME” or “me” to, creating a canvas to project yourself on. Otherwise stated: pop music is lived through vicariously (If you haven’t read Sasha Geffen’s Glitter Up the Dark: How Pop Music Broke the Binary, do it; she explains it there much better than I could). You wave around your telephone-hand when “Call Me Maybe” comes on, but you’re not the one handing out your number. You try (probably not so successfully) to match Ariana Grande’s belts on “Into You,” but you can’t feel that magnetic attraction across the dancefloor, trapped in a gaze. Other genres aren’t excluded from this (an R&B equivalent might be Kehlani’s “The Way”); pop is just the standard. Songwriters and producers are notorious for being recycled between artists to replicate streaming numbers and chart performances (an aside: commercialization doesn’t necessarily dilute the value of the genre; just read Switched on Pop) because they have mastered the artform of immersion, which is where Lorde becomes subversive.

“The Louvre” doesn’t make the listener an observer, some third party watching action unravel through lyrics, detached from a world already built around them, but the protagonist, inextricable from the plot on-screen. The line between Lorde and the listener becomes blurred; their emotions start to feel one and the same. Lyrics don’t have to be injected with to-your-interpretation meanings because each word feels like your own, invested with a shard of yourself. Even if you’ve never felt the virtual anxiety of texting your crush — twiddling your thumbs above the keyboard in search of the right words to say, sending screenshots to your friends to crowdsource the best possible reply — you feel like you know it now. “I overthink your/ P-punctuation use,” Lorde stutters, a perforation of nerve-wracking vulnerability that belies the digitized confidence of text messages in white letters and blue blurbs. 

Anne Carson was right in Eros the Bittersweet, fiction cannot replace reality, written letters cannot replace spoken word, but “The Louvre” isn’t some performative effect to live through; it is the personal experience. “A rush” hits when eyes shy away from one another after meeting for a split second, new production for a new beginning where your only thought is them and nobody else, the “pang” Caroline Polacheck sang of in her cyborg voice. It’s why Mirana Cosgrove says “Sparks Fly” (meme-worthy, but gets the point across) why “electricity” is the cliché to describe the kismet of love. The obvious implications are its potency and speed — destructive and instantaneous, fatal when hands graze each other, one stick of kindling away from a fire you can’t contain — but “electricity” is also a necessity. 

Once you put on those rose-colored glasses, you never want to take them off. The date is playbacked in your mind, scrutinized for successes and failures, each moment prodded with a question. Did I talk too much? Was my laugh really that loud, high? I should try chewing with my mouth closed next time….You relay the details to your friends not just to receive affirmation (“OMG,” “thats SO cute” or an “u w u,” if you’re that type of person) or measure perplexion (“uhhh,” “hmmm”), but to have an opportunity to relive the day. “Drink up your movements” might be a bit of an understatement; they’re sipped slowly, each drip savored, an indelible aftertaste. Then again, that might be a bit too verbose to fit well in a verse, which is why Lorde translates them into sound: a chorus where ripplying synths and smoky reverb accentuate the empty space, the desire to reach out and find someone to kiss, palpitating like a heartbeat and best listened to with the lights dimmed and your eyes closed. (Referring back to point #1, the words here don’t matter; the feeling does.) The background vocals come off as sighs, mesmerized, gentle, tender, breathless, but the true exhale is in the outro. The coming-of-age film is complete, fading out while the camera pans up to the moon and the end credits roll. Guitars become soothed to sleep, softer and softer, until all you’re left with is a quiet smile, the bliss of dreams. This is love.

[haberdashing]

One Step Behind Your Memory

TMA fic building off the AU established in Yesterday Is Here by @cirrus-grey, in which a post-season-5, married Jon and Martin go back in time to the pre-season-1 Archives to prevent the worst of the future from happening as it did in canon.

October 2017: Martin’s mother dies, the second time around.

on AO3

Jon could tell that something was bothering Martin today. Martin wasn’t as able to focus on their shared research, to stay engaged with what the two of them still had left to do to help fix things, to avoid being distracted by anything and everything around them. Despite it otherwise seeming like a perfectly ordinary day--well, ordinary by their standards, at least--Martin was... off, slightly, and thinking of it made Jon’s heart ache.

Jon wanted to know what was on Martin’s mind, wanted to know what he could do to help, but he knew better than to outright ask.

Instead, when Martin started trailing off his speech in the middle of a sentence for the third time that hour (not that Jon was counting), Jon simply pressed his hand against Martin’s and said, softly, “Martin?”

“Sorry, I got distracted again, uh-”

“No need to apologize, love.” Jon squeezed Martin’s hand gently. “I’m sure you’ve got a lot on your mind.”

“Yeah, today’s just... well, today. Makes it extra hard, I suppose.”

Without looking at the chart that he and Martin had compiled together of when everything had went to hell the first time around, Jon couldn’t remember what, if anything, had happened on today’s date before. He’d been in his coma at the time, though, that much he knew, so it could well be something he’d missed when it had happened.

“I can’t remember what happened today.” Jon confessed.

“You know, I’m not sure I ever told you.” Martin’s face was growing redder by the moment. “It probably shouldn’t bother me this much-”

“But it still does.” Jon finished.

“Right, yeah.”

A moment passed where neither of them spoke, Jon staring down at their intertwined hands as he waited silently.

Then, finally, Martin’s voice, hardly louder than a breath, after a furtive glance at his younger counterpart: “Mum dies today.”

“Oh.” Jon’s voice was as hushed as his husband’s, and the arm that wasn’t already partly on top of Martin’s wrapped around him in a tight half-hug. “Oh, Martin, I’m so sorry.”

Martin just shrugged, but when Jon looked him in the eyes, he could see that Martin was trying to hold back tears.

“I don’t think that’s on the chart, we could have-”

Martin shook his head as he interrupted Jon. “No, no, we couldn’t have. Out of all the-” Martin let out a soft, bitter laugh. “-the supernatural boogie monsters that took over our lives, her dying is the one thing that was, well, normal. I mean, she was sick for a long time before she died; hell, there were times I didn’t think she’d last as long as she did.”

“...right.” Jon gently massaged Martin’s shoulder with his free hand. “But still.”

“But still.” Martin echoed, letting out a soft sigh before looking at his younger counterpart, careful to keep his voice low enough that they were unlikely to be overheard. “At 3:37 PM, he’s going to get a call from the nursing home... you know, the first time around, I actually let it go to voicemail.”

“Really.” Jon couldn’t imagine that. For all the time he’d known Martin in the Archives, he’d had his phone on him (except when he hadn’t had a phone), occasionally on vibrate but usually with the ringer on, scrambling to answer it whenever it rang, because few people had his number and those that did rarely called for innocuous reasons. There had been a time when he’d found it annoying, and a time when he’d found it endearing, and a time when he’d accepted that was just part of what made Martin Martin.

“Yeah, I was, was talking to Peter Lukas-”

Jon’s face must have revealed some of how he felt about Peter Lukas, because Martin interrupted his own explanation to add a quick “I know, I know,” before continuing.

“So, my phone was in my pocket and I could feel it vibrating, but I knew if I answered it he’d chew me out for it later, so I just... let it go. Wasn’t until a bit after that I thought to check who called, and they just. Left that in the voicemail. Waiting for me.”

“Oh, Martin. I’m so sorry.”

“‘s not your fault.” Martin tilted his head to gesture towards his younger counterpart before adding, “Don’t think he’ll let it go to voicemail, though.”

Jon had thought they’d managed to keep their voices low enough that the others wouldn’t notice, but either he was wrong on that count or that particular gesture was unsubtle enough to be noticed regardless, because at that moment younger Martin squinted at them and said, “Are you two talking about me over there?”

Martin’s face went red, and Jon could feel his own face heating up.

“Only nice things, we promise!” Martin--his Martin, Jon’s Martin--replied.

Sasha glanced over at them before adding, “Nice things don’t usually need to be said in whispers.”

Jon jumped in this time. “They’re complicated nice things.”

“Everything’s complicated with you two, isn’t it?” Tim said.

Jon and Martin snorted with amusement in sync at that one.

“Well, you’re not wrong.” Martin replied.

“Yeah, yeah.”

Jon waited for a long moment for the others to go back to their work before saying in a near-whisper, “We could tell him, you know. Before he gets the call.”

“What, and have him start grieving early? Have her death get wrapped up in all the rest of this?” Martin shook his head. “That sounds like a bad idea to me.”

“There has to be something we can do, though. We can’t just... just sit here and wait for it to happen.”

“I mean, we can, but...” Martin bit his bottom lip the way he did when he was trying to concentrate, and Jon stayed silent, not wanting to interrupt Martin’s train of thought, until Martin squeezed Jon’s hand and spoke up again. “Actually, you’re right, there is something we can do.”

“A-”

Jon’s half-formed thought was interrupted by Martin shoving him over so that he could use their shared computer. Jon was pinned between Martin and the wall now, which might have been uncomfortable if it wasn’t Martin there, if it wasn’t his husband’s body pressed against his, soft and warm and right. He’d take that kind of uncomfortable any day.

Martin opened the Internet and entered a search term before looking back at Jon, who gave him a silent, tentative nod of approval.

They spent their time planning without speaking, thoughts shared with meaningful glances and with judicious use of the shared keyboard, and before long their plan was put into place.

3:37 came, and younger Martin’s phone rang, and he answered it on the second ring. Jon and Martin glanced at one another before eavesdropping on him mumbling through responses before ending the call and staring at his desk, eyes wide and unfocused.

Younger Jon was the first of the younger archival staff to approach Martin after the call ended; unsurprising, perhaps, given that those two were quickly growing almost as close as their older counterparts. (Though Jon and Martin would insist on that “almost”’ being there; there were certain connections only surviving an apocalypse together could bring about, after all.)

“Who was that on the phone?”

“The... home. My- my mom’s nursing home.” Young Martin’s hands shook along with his words, and he stopped to take a deep breath before adding, “She’s gone.”

“I’m so sorry, Martin.” Younger Jon wrapped his arms around younger Martin in a tight bear hug.

“I mean, it was always just a matter of time... and now she’s not, not suffering at least...”

“It’s still a loss, though.” Younger Jon’s head was sitting on younger Martin’s shoulder, muffling his voice a bit. “You still deserve to grieve.”

“...thank you.”

Tim and Sasha exchanged a look before heading over to younger Martin’s desk and joining in the hug, wrapping their arms around younger Martin. Jon and Martin exchanged a look of their own before Tim waved them over, saying, “Get over here, it’s not a group hug without everyone joining in!” and they went along with his instructions.

“You guys, you don’t need to...” Younger Martin let his sentence trail off, and as Jon got closer, it became clear that his face was covered in tears.

“But we want to.” Sasha said in a tone of voice that left no room for argument.

A long minute passed in silence with five pairs of arms all wrapped around Martin and each other, intermingled to the point where it was hard to tell whose limbs were whose, the silence only breached by younger Martin’s soft sniffles.

Then younger Martin looked up at Jon and Martin and said quietly, “You two, you, you knew-”

Mercifully, that was when the deliveryman arrived in the archives, approaching the mass of hugging people with a bemused look on his face as he asked, “Delivery for one Martin Blackwood?”

Martin and younger Martin looked at one another before Jon pointed at the latter and said, “That’d be him.”

“Right, well, here you are. Just sign here.”

The group wordlessly took a collective step back, giving younger Martin the space needed to reach out and sign the receipt, though his signature was noticeably messier than normal, his hands shaking as he held the pen.

The bouquet was every bit as magnificent as Jon had hoped it would be. It was primarily blue and white, filled with bluebells because they were always Martin’s favorite flower and carnations because they were her favorite, with a few other flowers mixed in, some for meaning and others just because they looked nice. Jon had known it would be big, by the price tag (charged to the Institute’s credit card, thankfully) if nothing else, but it was one thing to know it and another to actually see the thing. The bouquet was comically huge, and when the deliveryman set it down before hurrying away, it took up a good half of younger Martin’s desk.

Younger Martin opened the card attached to it, a fairly generic “Sorry for your loss” card with the writing within revealing it to be from Blackwood and Sims, though he likely could have figured that much out regardless.

Then younger Martin pressed his hands against his face and made a noise that was half sob, half laugh, his body shaking with the sound that emerged.

Jon looked over at Martin and gave a slight nod of approval. Maybe the gesture wasn’t perfect, but it felt right just the same.