#saruman records

[mossiestpiglet]

category 5 wizard pussy

[fuckyeahhistorycrushes]

Sir Christopher Lee, 1922-2015.

Served in the Finnish army in 1939, the British Home guard in 1940, and the Royal Air Force 1941-1946; retired a flight lieutenant.

Released heavy metal albums in his 90’s. Appeared in over 250 films and TV movies. Won the Guinness world record for most on-screen sword fights.

He’s Dracula, Saruman, Count Dooku, and Lord Summerisle.

And he makes that mustache work.

[sillylotrpolls]

For the record, Tolkien really did have some drafts in which Boromir lived. In these, he not only became increasingly envious of Aragorn, but eventually betrayed him to Saruman.

After the Men return to their city, “Boromir deserts and sneaks off to Saruman, to get his help in becoming Lord of Minas Tirith” (TI 210). Surprisingly, this plot point stays in place for a while. Later, Boromir is said to be “enraged” when “the Lord of Minas Tirith is slain” and Aragorn is chosen to rule in his stead (TI 211). In this version, too, he defects to Saruman. Christopher Tolkien suggests that in this, Boromir may be “a faint adumbration of Wormtongue” (TI 214). This suggestion is fascinating, as it brings to our attention possible affinities between the heir to the stewardship of Minas Tirith and the power-hungry wizard. According to the outline, Boromir does not repent, but is “slain by Aragorn” (TI 212)!

Source: https://www.tor.com/2020/10/15/exploring-the-people-of-middle-earth-boromir-the-brave/

[christopherleefan]

Christopher Lee returns as Saruman in Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim. They will use archival recordings of Christopher Lee from previous LOTR projects.

[sirdeln]

I was lucky enough to be able to attend the Lord of the Rings musical in Chicago earlier this week and was SO DELIGHTED. I can't stop thinking about it and talking my friends' ears off and wanted to write down all of my thoughts!  Here's my review under the cut :)

A brief background on the musical for those unfamiliar: In the 2000s LOTR excitement was high! This musical originally premiered in 2006 in Toronto and moved to the West End in London the next year. It was extremely expensive to produce and included a massive cast, full orchestral pit, and large, complicated sets. It consequently lost a lot of money. Bummer!!! I did not see this production as I was 8 and living in Oregon at the time. 

Last year (2023) the musical was reworked into a new production for the Watermill Theatre with a smaller cast, more intimate feel, and notably, all the musician/actors on stage. It received generally positive reviews and presumably was commercially successful, because Chicago Shakespeare Theater announced it would be hosting the same production with a new cast this year. Of course I rushed to buy tickets, because I never thought I'd get to see any version of the LOTR musical (and also I lived in Chicago for a short time and love it there 😊 ).  

Of course, there are some necessary plot changes and abbreviations to fit the story of the whole trilogy into a 2 hour and 45 minute musical. Most notably Rohan is entirely absent. No Eowyn :,(, no Eomer, and no Helm's Deep. Theoden and Denethor are combined into one character, "The Steward," which I think works fairly well. There's one large battle between the armies of men and the forces of Sauron, and there's an inserted argument between Frodo and Sam, similar to the movies.  

Unlike the movies, the scouring of the Shire does occur, although we don't actually see Saruman at the end of the show. I think that to someone unfamiliar with the story, it would be a little confusing, especially because it's full of unexplained names, other references to Middle Earth, and singing in elvish, but ultimately I think it's pretty impressive that they've created a mostly coherent plot that's the length of a normal show! 

I'll caveat that I went into this already an opera/musical theater appreciator (although I've only ever been involved in productions playing in the pit, I am certainly no actor). I was really hoping to be pleased based on everything I had heard about last year's UK show and my positive opinion of the old cast recording.  

On to specifics about the Chicago show!  

The cast is extremely impressive. Basically everyone on stage is a quadruple threat; acting, singing, dancing, AND playing instruments. The casting call posted earlier this year made me so curious because it seemed so specific (here it is for those who are curious: https://www.theatreinchicago.com/auditions/industrydetail.php?AuditionID=10319), but they really managed to find Suzanne Hannau, who sings, dances, and acts as Rosie Cotton all while playing piccolo, flute, and recorder (and possibly tin whistle? Tin whistle heads out there, let me know).  

Standout members of the cast are Alina Jenine Taber as Arwen, who gave my favorite vocal performance of the show. She is a perfect Arwen and blends easily with Will James Jr.'s Aragorn in their second act duet. Also she learned harp for the role! Will James Jr. as Aragorn is excellent casting as well. He totally pulls of the humble gravitas of Aragorn and I actually prefer his voice to the Aragorn in the 2008 cast recording.  

More flowers go to Rick Hall, who made a perfect, lovely Bilbo (and is double cast as the Steward), and Spencer Davis Milford as Frodo. His acting chops are WILD! Special mention goes to Ben Mathew as Pippin. He is a truly wonderful cellist and gives a noticeably excellent musical performance while acting and dancing! With a cello strapped to his front! Crazy good!! Generally though the whole cast is excellent. 

Here are my small gripes. These are less flaws, and more things that I would have done differently were I for some reason in charge. Lauren Zakrin plays Galadriel and is an extremely talented singer, but IMO her vocal style is much too "Broadway show tune" for Galadriel. "Lothlorien" is one of my favorite tracks in the show, and while she totally rocks it, I prefer a more ethereal sound for this role.  

Tony Bozzuto brings an incredibly impressive physicality to Gollum (climbing down ropes into the audience, swinging fully around ladders 20 feet up in the air type of stuff) but I think using an Andy Serkis Gollum voice and movie Gollum look is a directorial mistake. Bozzuto does a great job with what he's given, but the Serkis Gollum voice made the audience (at least the night I went) react to Gollum as if he was a comedic character rather than a tragic one. It also slightly cheapens the emotional impact of “Now and For Always,” which is hugely unfortunate. He would say incredibly sad things but the goofy voice made people laugh. 

UK correspondent and subject expert @lotrmusical tells me this wasn’t an issue at the Watermill. The voice wasn’t as much a Serkis-specific voice and worked more with pathos. I also think using the movie Gollum look is a missed opportunity to do something really cool and unique with the character – imagine if they'd gone with a cartoon froggy type Gollum or come up with their own original look! 

My final qualm is a musical qualm. The new orchestration is extremely impressive in that it creates a very similar sound to a full orchestral pit (I've read it was 60 musicians?) with a MUCH smaller group and mostly sounds very very good. Having the actors as the instrumentalists on stage works really well in creating the folk story vibe, and fits with the framing device of this show; it's hobbits telling you their version of this story.  

But a couple of moments are weird. Harmonica during an Aragorn/Arwen love scene is a wack choice, and same for accordion representing wizard magic. There are a few issues with intonation, balance (sorry brass players), and ensemble. I think this is inevitable when your instrumentalists are playing simultaneously to acting, moving across the stage, and performing choreography. To be clear, in no way is this the fault of the musicians themselves, but it's a pretty unavoidable side effect of this staging: you just aren't going to play perfectly together if you're standing 40 feet away from each other and your instruments are individually mic'd. 

@lotrmusical tells me this also wasn’t a problem for the Watermill, maybe because it’s a much smaller venue than Chicago; very possibly these small problems arise from a combination of the Yard at Chicago Shakespeare Theater being a larger/more difficult space and from my seeing the show in its first week. It may resolve itself as it progresses! Personally I think the staging is worth these minor issues because the folk atmosphere works so well with the story, but it's worth pointing out.  

Okay, time for all the stuff I loved!  

I mentioned the folk element of this staging briefly and this angle works really well for LOTR. There's a framing device of hobbits telling this tale to you with ensemble cast members at times narrating, and I think it's a great fit for the story. It creates a feeling of intimacy that I really loved, and that feeling is enhanced by some interactive moments with the audience.  

When I entered the theater, the stage is set for Bilbo's birthday party. There's a beautiful party tree revealed by the backdrop, a large banner proclaims the occasion, and bunting is flying out above the audience. Hobbit actors came out into the audience and interacted with us, playing games and chatting, while Bilbo made the rounds on each level to greet his "party guests". It really effectively transitions the audience into the world of middle earth, and I'll admit to tearing up when everyone sang happy birthday to Bilbo.  

(screenshot from official trailer)

The stagecraft maintains the immersion throughout the show. The lighting design incorporates lights flashing straight out at the audience for a few dramatic moments (there are epilepsy warnings on the website and program for a good reason) and characters move swiftly up and down the aisles throughout the show. Gollum climbs down a rope from the gallery at the beginning of the second act, and the Nazgul snap and prowl around the audience.  

Speaking of the Nazgul, the PUPPETS in this show are totally stunning. Shelob is an absolutely massive puppet that emerges from the back of the stage and moves extremely realistically, and the ringwraiths are glowing, articulated skeletal horse heads, each moving with a dark cloaked puppeteer. The Nazgul are absolute showstoppers; it's impossible to convey the way they move and look under the stage lights, but it was totally enthralling. I could watch just them for ages. The puppet designer is Charlie Tymms, website here if you're curious: https://www.charlietymms.co.uk/ 

(screenshots from official trailer)

The lighting, choreography, and sound design are all fantastic and combine to create a really magical feeling. The best way to get a feel for this is in the short trailer released by Chicago Shakespeare Theater, but even that doesn't really convey how cool it was in person. The fight and dance choreography is super impressive as well. I'm a big believer in the importance of lighting design for live theater, and this production is maybe the best I've seen. Some favorite moments are Galadriel and Lothlorien's swirling, twinkling gold effect, the spotlight and freeze when Frodo puts on the ring, and the projection onto vertical cloth streamers for the Bruinen water horses.  

(Liz Lauren via playbill)

Overall, I loved my experience and if I lived locally, I would go see it a second time. If all goes well and they tour this production, I will absolutely be there if it comes closer to me. This show is clearly made by people who love the Lord of the Rings, and that love absolutely shines through.  

I think you will enjoy this production if you love the atmosphere of the Lord of the Rings and you like the music in the show. You'll enjoy this if you love theater and stagecraft, or don't know much about the Lord of the Rings but are ok with being a little confused/ready to be along for the ride. I think a person who is primarily a film fan and loves the epic battles of LOTR would perhaps not have a great time, and a person who knows that they don't enjoy or aren't immersed by theater would also not have a good time.  

If you're thinking of attending, you should check out the trailer from Chicago Shakespeare Theater:

the cast recording from the west end 2008:

and Mickey Jo Theatre's review of the Watermill production:

Most of what Mickey Jo Theatre says about the Watermill show is applicable to the Chicago production. The trailer and cast recording will give you a sense of the show as a whole (although of course the orchestration is significantly changed), but the overall sound is much the same. 

I'm certainly not an expert, but feel free to reach out if you are thinking of attending or have any questions! I'd also love to hear from/compare notes with anyone who saw the Watermill production from last year 😊 

A huge thank you to @lotrmusical for checking my facts and telling me about their experience with the Watermill show!!! you rock!

[buffyfan145]

Just got a great new behind the scenes featurette from Entertainment Weekly about the new LOTR anime movie "The War of the Rohirrim"!!! 😀 Lots of backstory in this one about the characters and storyline, clips from the movie and the actors recording their parts, and confirmed Dominic Monaghan and Billy Boyd are back!!! Dom does seem to be voicing an orc like others speculated from the first trailer and there's a 2nd orc with him in those scenes that might be voiced by Billy now. They join Miranda Otto who is narrating this was Eowyn, and they used Christopher Lee's unused audio from the movies to voice Saruman. Can't wait to see this!!!

[jungle-angel]

Lost in Literary Madness (Bob Floyd x Reader)

Summary: In which Bob helps teach your English class and shows his inner theater kid

Tagging: @bobfloydsbabe

"Gather round o' children of mine," Bob announced to the group of sixteen and seventeen year olds. "Mrs. Floyd will be in soon for English, we've got a double English period this afternoon."

Everybody in the room pushed their desks together and waited eagerly for your class to enter the room. As soon as everybody had come in, Bob fixed the chalkboard drawing along with his notes while you and your students entered with their copies of The Fellowship Of The Ring. Everybody knew the drill, up on the desks and watch the fireworks.

"Alright my batty bunch," Bob said. "Who can recall where we left off?"

"I think we left off on the part where they're heading for the inn at Bree?" Kelsey Perrault answered hesitantly.

"You might be right, but I think it's a little further than that," Bob told her.

"Wait, Mr. Floyd I've got it marked," Justin Daly said suddenly, raising his hand. "We got to the part where the Fellowship ends up in Rivendell."

"Oh there we go, one of my favorite parts," Bob chirped. "Does anybody remember why Gandalf was late in the first place?"

A few shook their heads.

"What do you think Mrs. Floyd?" Bob asked, turning to find you comfortably perched on his desk. "Shall we have a little refresher?"

"I don't see why not," you answered happily.

You could tell by Bob's little eyebrow wiggle exactly where this was going.

"So," Bob began. "We remember Gandalf's search through the library of Gondor for any records pertaining to the Ring, right? You find a mysterious soul-sucking ring that turns you into a complete crazy person, you're going to want to investigate, right?"

"Right!" responded the students.

"We remember that Gandalf's search led him to a person he'd never suspect in a million years and that was an old wizard by the name of......Mrs. Floyd?"

"Why Saruman The White of Course," you responded, already feeling the intensity beginning to build within your husband.

"EXCELLENT!" Bob declared. "Ten points to Mrs. Floyd and the rest of Ravenclaw."

You snickered a little bit, blushing at your husband's complement.

"So anywho," Bob continued. "Our grey-bearded friend arrives in Isengard where Saruman's tower stands looming over these HUGE TRACTS OF LAND!"

Both you and the students were laughing and snickering at Bob emphasizing "huge tracts of land" in a rather loud voice and making a gesture for the female chest that was a little more than suggestive. You couldn't help it, knowing your students were doing "Spamalot" for their class play.

"He sees this and is probably thinking, 'ok, old friend, I've got it made going into this," Bob continued. "They talk when all of a sudden BAM! Saruman's got Gandalf in a trap!"

The slam of Bob's hand on the desk made everybody jump, including you.

"Way, way up in that tower, Gandalf's imprisoned," Bob told them, the intensity in his voice growing. "Saruman's doing all sorts of terrible things to him, like 'ha ha, I've got you now' and Gandalf's pretty much at his mercy, watching these forests getting chopped down to feed the orc forges."

You laughed, pinching the bridge of your nose. It wasn't every day that your husband got this dramatic or this into storytelling, at least not with your students.

"So Gandalf figures, 'I've got one last trick up my sleeve and it had better friggin work.' So as Saruman's torturing the hell out of him one day, Gandalf realizes his plan to get out of there has worked at las and he declares that 'there can only be one lord of the rings......and he does not share power!"

Now he was really getting into it, his whole body moving, the tone of his voice, his words, his gestures, it was all so theatrical.....and you loved him for it.

"He finally makes it to Rivendell where he's united with Frodo, the hobbits, Strider and the others," Bob continued. "They celebrate a little bit and rest up and catch up with each other......and SHIT!"

You and the students busted out laughing when Bob's heavy owl bookend fell off the desk and clunked to the floor. He calmly picked it up and set it back up on the desk on the end of the row of books as though it had never fallen.

"Class......is......dismissed," Bob informed them when he heard the ringing of the hand bell in the hallway.

The students gathered up their books, bags and anything else they needed for the weekend, leaving you and Bob as the only ones left in the room.

"How'd I do sweetheart?" he asked.

"Very dramatic Mr. Professor," you chuckled before you kissed each other. "I'm very impressed."

"Maybe it'll translate well when I get a chance to work on the book later tonight," Bob remarked.

"Ah still dissecting the influences of Tolkien's works are we?"

Bob wiggled his eyebrows again before pressing a soft kiss to your lips. "I may need your help with it," he told you.

"Oh I can help you with alot more than just that," you purred. "Wanna practice making a little um.....something, something when we get home?"

Bob's eyes widened. "Think you're ready Mrs. Floyd?"

"More than I've ever been," you purred again.

And that was a challenge Bob was willing to accept, the two of you hurrying to the truck and racing to get home while the heat blasted and banished the winter cold.

[albiclalepsza]

I had been obsessed with Lord of The Rings before I ever saw it, ever since I can remember really. My sister was a big fan and she talked about it all the time, had multiple posters of the characters (the biggest one was of Gollum for some reason). She and her friend hunted down a whole set of lotr glasses that you could collect from somewhere. She had the coolest notebook I've ever seen that's burned into my memory, with sketches of different characters, locations and monsters in the background of every page.

When I was 5 my parents finally folded and let me watch it. It was even better than I thought it would be. I was terrified of the Uruk Hai and cried at the deaths of all the characters more out of fear than sadness but that first watch is still one of my favorite memories. When I went to school I dragged every friend I made into watching the trilogy with me (my sister got the extended trilogy on DVDs as soon as it came out, I still watch them from these discs). Some of them became as obsessed with it as I was. We played together pretending to be the characters, we tried to record our own movie (though we didn't get past the prologue) and we bought almost every video game from the franchise as soon as we could.

Last year we finally went to the trilogy marathon and saw the movies in the cinema. It was fantastic, and watching them with the same people who played pretend with me 14 years before felt absolutely special.

Throughout all of this Theoden was my favorite character. As a kid I loved his armor and sword and how cool he looked as he led the whole Rohirrim army into battle in Return of The King. Now I still love him for all these things of course. But he is also a tragic character, who lost his mind in the Saruman - induced haze, only to wake up and realize his son died. He is constantly in grief, all the while trying to save his people and everyone else. And he knows that he will not return, but he still goes to aid Gondor, the very kingdom that didn't help his when they needed it most.

Bernard Hill's performance is incredible. There are so many little moments that make this role work so well. My favorite is when he is debating whether to go to Helm's Deep. Gandalf advises him and as he does so, he puts his hand on the king's armrest and leans slightly to him, just as Grima did, and Theoden just glances at the hand and immediately is that much less trusting of his judgement. It's so subtle and I just love it. There is also that bit of absolute despair when he looks at the armies under Minas Tirith that disappears completely when he turns back to his soldiers. His quick moment of grief when he talks with Eowyn at the celebration in the third movie that completely throws the conversation off its rails. The look of tragedy when the fell beast descends upon him. His quick outburst at Aragorn when he suggests calling for Gondor that abruptly stops the moment he realizes that he let emotions out. His few scenes with Merry. Actually, I could probably list every scene of his in the trilogy if I didn't stop myself here.

Anyway, Bernard Hill pased away today. I have to admit that I haven't watched any other of his movies, but that one performance in Lord of The Rings is just so special to me. Thank you, Bernard Hill, for giving me my favorite part of my favorite trilogy. You will be missed.

[thefirstknife]

Interesting info from today's TWAB (it will never be TWID to me) about the Veil Log quest!

Veil Containment will continue being unlocked for the remaining three weeks of Season 21, and additional entries will unlock at the start of Season 22 and Season 23.

We have three more entries until the end of the season and then two more: 1 at the start of season 22 and 1 at the start of season 23. That will be a super painful wait. I can't imagine what this last entry could possibly be that it would be such a delayed tease.

The narrative team also acknowledged that they made the quest a little too secretive by trying to turn it into something players would have discover for themselves:

Narrative Team: The Veil Containment repeatable activity continues to tell the story of Neomuna’s history with the Veil as introduced in Lightfall. If you haven’t checked in with Osiris and Nimbus yet, you might not be alone. In wanting Veil Containment to be something discoverable, we went a little too far in one direction and made the activity hard to find, even for the lore-hounds interested in digging more into the Veil. (A lesson learned for any future content of this sort!)

And the rest of the stuff on the quest is soooo juicy and I believe they nailed the vibe they intended perfectly.

Writing the story of Veil Containment was an opportunity to dig into the cosmic horror side of Destiny. Creating the encrypted records of Ishtar Scientist Chioma Esi as she and her wife researched an alien force was a chance to bring the essence of things like the SCP Foundation and creepy podcasts like the Magnus Archives into Destiny.

Movies like Altered States and 2001 a Space Odyssey helped inform the tone of the messages you uncovered, all of which are underlined by the emotional story of Chioma Esi and Maya Sundaresh’s lives unraveling in the aftermath of the Collapse and their contact with the Veil. We’ve even seen some keen-eyed players noticing similarities between what Maya attempts with the Veil to what the Witness did in sacrificing its own people, and even what Calus did with the Crown of Sorrows and a pack of Scorn. Those threads and thematic recurrence are intentional guidelines anchoring us to related moments in the past, and help the curious delve into the deeper lore armed with a fistful of useful citations.

The bolded bit is really good! It's something that we've been discussing a lot. I haven't directly mentioned Presage much recently, but it's been on my mind too and I'm super excited to revisit it next season when it returns.

Another source of inspiration during the creation of Veil Containment was the relation between an outside observer and the concept of the Winnower mentioned in the Books of Sorrow. We wanted to explore the relationships people experience to cosmic, otherworldly forces beyond their understanding and how it tears both their own moral foundations and sense of self apart at the seams. As we’ve discovered with Osiris and Nimbus over the past few weeks, the Veil is a cosmic collective consciousness, a psychic network that spreads like a mycelial network through the universe. There’s intentional visual and thematic connections to Egregore there. But also, an allusion to the famous scene in Lord of the Rings where Gandalf warns Saruman about using the Palantir. “You don’t know who else may be watching.”

I assume it should say "Unveiling" instead of Books of Sorrow. Other than that, this is absolutely my fave. That last line gave me legitimate chills. The connections with egregore are important as well and I'm sure we'll get more mentions of that in the future. Again, Presage was our first real exposure to egregore so I'm happy to return next season. Technically, our first exposure to egregore was the Derelict, Drifter's ship, but it wasn't until Presage that egregore was identified and named (and deliberately connected to the same entity that we've previously seen on the Derelict). Really good summary of egregore lore if you want to dig a little! Also throwback to the (I think) first time I mentioned the explanation for egregore, back in February 2021 when Presage was hot off the press. Actually staggering to me right now that this was 2 years before Lightfall's heavy theme of collective consciousness and merging of minds and they already dropped hints to it back then. Wild stuff. Also take a look at Bungie's dive into making Presage (spoilers obviously for those that never played it).

Capturing that sense of foreboding unknown is a staple of cosmic horror. The moment where you realize that your role in the universe is a small one, that the universe itself may be uncaring, and things lurk in it that you have been blissfully unaware of. As our cast is pushed through these harrowing experiences, it also sets the stage for the future in The Final Shape and beyond.

So true bestie. I am absolutely thriving with this lore and development. Cosmic horror is literally the only thing that matters to me and the sheer scale of how this is presented in Destiny with the Veil, Veil Logs, the Witness and its origins and everything around that has been the best thing in Destiny lore for me tbh. I've always been most interested in researching Darkness and this exploration of it as a cosmic force of consciousness that drives people to incomprehensible actions and spreads like a mycelium network is an absolute blast.

[hypnoneghoul]

Why does the fight between Gandalf and Saruman look fun??

Arther totally did this to Dew just for fun

also yes he did

[jinlizz-dragondrama]

Chapter 11

*Fast Foward*

"No contact! Where are my kids?" Splints shouts as he paces back and forth.

"If only I had a clue as to where they are. Someone send me a clue. "

A bright purple portal opens and outfalls April.

"Anything, a hint a whisper,"

April's muffled calls for attention go unnoticed, and so do her thrashing movements.

"A well-timed crash" Splints goes to investigate this well-timed crash and sees it is April, and she's tied up.

He sits her up. "Do not worry, I will free you with my helping toe,"

He lifts his leg, exposing his disgusting long a** gangrene nail, and uses it to remove the gag from her mouth.

"First off, ew, second off WERE DOOMED! Draxum captured the guys and Aqua!"

April explains that Draxum demands the last piece of the armor Splints has.

*Purple Turtle transition 🐢💜*

The boys are locked in a cage hanging several stories high in a cave of sorts that's under a creepy castle tower. (What is it with villains about cold, dark, and dank-looking caves, huh? Also, the tower is giving Lord of the Rings vibes. Anyway...)

The guys go over what went wrong, and the word grandchildren is thrown around. 😳 Oh boy.. but Raph quickly changes the subject.

Maybe we didn't stay true to the Hamato ways, but Dad taught us that wisdom is within us. We need to focus and meditate deeply, and our path will be revealed.

"Oooooouuummmmmsmuuuaaaahhh" (idk). The boys look back at Donnie annoyed.

"Sorry, could you guys hear that?"

*Inside the Saruman, the White looking tower *

Draxum is lying on a massage table with Papa Brutus, giving him a relaxing massage. Under the table is a glowing circle with symbols that emit mystic energy.

"Another excellent idea of mine, bathing in the mystic energy, will give me the stretch to wield the dark armor," Draxum says

Papa Brutus continues to massage Draxum, but when he hints at his legs, being jealous of not getting attention, Papa Brutus almost loses his cool.

It's for the greater evil, the greater evil...." Papa Lui says," Trying to calm him down.

*A few hours prior* 

Unbeknownst to both my dads I was completely helpless being locked in some sort of med bay, several cameras facing me and a red light signaling they were actively recording strapped to a cold steel bed, with a bunch of cords connected to my head recording my brainwaves, a heart monitor, and vials of my blood were placed in a small biohazard fridge if I showed any sign of resistance or use of my powers I would be shocked not like a dog collar or tazer shocked. More like, it sends you to the pearly gates and back kind.

"You can't hold me here forever. My friends will come and save me, and they'll kick your wanna-be sheep butt!" I yell defiantly

"OH, I doubt it, but even if they do escape, they won't be able to recognize you." He chuckles darkly as he releases an Oozesquito

⚠️Trigger warning description of horror, seizures, blood, and disgusting transformation stuff ⚠️

I struggled with my bindings and tried to call upon my powers but to no avail. Hit tears stream down my face as the pain of the bite and the ooze flow through my bloodstream. But the unexpected happened. My body started rejecting the ooze, and I started to seize thrashing harshly against the table. A horrible gurgling sound comes from my mouth, and froth starts to form at my mouth. Soon my pupils turn fry9 my sclera turns yellow, my teeth sharpen, bones break and reshape and my torso sprouts purple tentacles that throw themselves about the room violently breaking glass and punching holes into the walls and floor, as I scream from the excruciating pain the sound turns into something I don't recognize it felt like another voice was coming from within me. Several of the cameras were knocked over, but a hidden camera remained untouched.

Draxum watches in horror and awe as to what is happening to me. Obviously, the heart monitor was going crazy as were my brain waves. Unfortunately, he was a good distance away from the reach of my rampaging tentacles.

I pass out from both physical and mental pain. My subconscious takes over and vomits up ooze. As soon as it's expelled from me, my subconscious mind makes my eyes glare at Draxum, an evil smirk is plastered on my face, and a chilling voice speaks.

"We will meet again in due time,"

Slowly, my body returned to its original state, but now my clothes were ripped to shreds, and the brain wave monitor showed no brain activity for a few seconds, then activity soon returned.

"Interesting," Draxum says thoughtfully as he leaves me on the table and exits the room.

*Meanwhile, at the Lair 💚*

Splints and April are searching for the last piece of the armor, while a teapot is whistling from the steam escaping it is revealed that Ole' Skully as Splinter calls it, is the one and only sought-after piece.

"I can't give them the teapot. It'll doom humanity." Splints says torn

"But they have your sons and Aqua." April retorts

"You're right. My family must come first. We will give them the teapot."

"But that'll doom humanity," April shouts.

"You're not helping April"

"Maybe there is an answer in those dusty old scrolls of yours", April suggests

Sadly the advice the scrolls give is not helpful at all. The ancestors pretty much state that the boys are a sad but necessary sacrifice for the safety of all humanity and it was an unforeseen circumstance. That was a huge no-no and the scroll was promptly shredded.

A plan was made to come save us, April comes up with "Team B" which includes Franken Foot (Raph's Sparring buddy), Bullhop (The poor hotel bellboy), S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N (Donnie's robotic son) and Todd(.....oversized hamster lol).

While the boys are busy meditating and Raph has a trippy vision, they come to realize that the Hamato Clan way just wasn't working. Dabbing was done and classic Raph smashes his way out of the cage.

"Wait a second. You could have done that the whole time?" Leo says, shocked

Team B....was a bust... they immediately fell for a trap except for April and Splints, of course. The boys make their way to the armor while April and Splints are ambushed by Foot Ninjas but they are quickly defeated by Splinters Macho Gazpacho Fury Kick which awes Papa Lui and he's also hit with the powerful kick which knocks both dads out. Draxum being the cocky bitch he is is sitting on a throne.

"Ah, the great Lou Jitsu, I guess the camera adds five feet," Draxum says cockily and his gargoyle henchmen Huginn and Muninn laugh at the burn.

"I am here for my kids, you will release them to me immediately" Splinter shouts

"That won't be happening, unless you have given me what I want" Draxum counters.

An intense fight starts in a very Lou Jitsu style, but to add a huge blow to Splints Draxum drops the boy's weapons before him. (Low blow man, low blow).

"We can do this two ways, you can give me the final piece or torture your sons until they tell me where it is....you know what there is a third option...."

A portal opens, and my limp and badly beaten body crashes to the ground with a sickening thud.

"Mmmmmm" I moan quietly once I make an impact on the stone floor, blood starts to run from my now split-open brow. Line.

"Aqua! No..."

"She's an interesting specimen shall I continue subjecting her to my experiments" Draxum says with no emotion as he presses a button and my screams of pain echo throughout the open space.

Tears fill April's eyes and start streaming down her face as she stares at me, clamping her hands over her mouth to muffle her horrified scream.

Splinter glares at Draxum and flashbacks of when I joined the family go through his mind, seeing my happy face in his mind now replaced with my vacant pained expression. He grabs Leo's katana and it appears that he is going to continue the fight but with a swish of the sword, a blue portal opens, reaching in and grabbing the last piece of the armor.

Slowly opening my eyes, vision still blurry, blinking my eyes to clear my vision. It clears just enough for me to see him handing it to Draxum.

"Splints...no....don't...." I say quietly as I try to reach out to him

"I'm sorry Aqua, I don't want anyone else to get hurt"

The boys are a few floors below us fighting their way to the armor, my screams finally reach the depths they are at which causes the boys to panic and Donnie takes off running ahead of his brothers.

"Aqua..." Donnie worriedly says as he climbs the many flights of stairs.

When they reach where we are their eyes scan the area seeing their dad, April, and myself on the floor.

"The final piece of the dark armor?" Raph says confused

"My boys..." Splinter says when he hears his eldest son's voice but the happiness is short-lived as he watches Draxum attach the last piece. He tried to stop him but it was too late.

An explosion of power happens that sends me and Splinter flying. Donnie rushes to catch me, which he does but the force of my limp body pushes him backwards to land on the ground but he holds my body to stop me from further injury. The dark armor attaches itself to Draxum and the gang looks on in horror.

"At last I can end the human threat, once and for all" Draxum exclaims

"Not if we have anything to say" Raph shouts as he goes to punch him but is flicked in the head and it pushes him backward knocking over his brothers and myself.

To show off his sheer power Draxum cuts two pillars in half and spears the ground with them.

"OK, question was he always this strong?" Leo asks

After Draxum was done admiring how powerful he is...I think he's trying to compensate for something...my dads once they recovered from their concussion were in awe and blinded by their devotion to their master and not realizing their beloved daughter was in a terrible state. They bow in respect calling out to the Master.

"Shredder we await your orders," Papa Brutus says

"Shredder? I'm not Shredder, I am Baron Draxum. With this armor do you know what I will do to the humans?"

"Uh shred them?"

If I had the strength to move my body I would facepalm so hard, my face would probably have a hand shape dent in it.

"No, what's with you and all this shredding? I will destroy them!"

"This is not what the legends foretold, somethings gone wrong," Papa Lui says while jumping through a portal with Papa Brutus.

Draxum makes his exit by commanding the suit to turn into a drill and it shoots upwards to the surface. Which sends a tone of rocks to fall onto us. Raph lifts the rubble off Splinter. Raph, Mikey, and Leo check to make sure he's OK while Donnie is staring at me trying to get that scream out of his head. Gently playing my hand on his with a smile, I gesture for him to go check on his dad as well. Reluctantly he does, when his back is turned my smile falters, and close my eyes to stop the room from spinning. April sits next to me holding my hand and watches the boys.

"Dad, are you hurt?" Leo asks

"Of course, I am hurt"  Splints says exasperated

"We shall miss you, father!" Donnie says while shoveling dirt on him in an attempt to make me laugh. Which makes me chuckle quietly

"I'm not rest in peace hurt, I'm rest on the couch hurt" He exclaims

Splinter apologizes to the boys which causes the boys to tear up, stripping themselves of their serious Hamato Clan attire, putting on their colored masks, and grabbing their weapons.

"Now go be your awesome selves"

Mayhem appears, snuggles April, and appears next to me rubbing against my cheek gently which tickles. Donnie summons his drill that had his backup tech. They zoom off away from the cavern Donnie takes one last look at me and April knowingly nods at him.

"Don't worry we'll take care of Splints and Aqua. Make him regret the day he decided to cross us"

Donnie gives his signature evil grin and flies off following his brothers.

*At a baseball stadium*

Draxum appears and starts destroying the place, people start scrambling to the exits,  climbing on top of each other with every man for themselves mentality.

"Draxum we are sick of you messing with people kind"

You're going to face a brand-new opponent that's back to their old self

"The teenage turtles who are ninjas and mutants"

"Really? Is that the best we got? Cuz we've had so much time to think of a way to say that"

While the boys were fighting, April snuck into the ranks with the Foot Ninjas in the announcer's box. Overhearing that there is a flaw with the armor she types a message on the jumbotron letting the boys know about her discovery. But before she could finish she was found out but luckily Mayhrm popped in with Splinter and myself, and we knocked out the Foot Ninjas. We both regret that decision as our bodies start aching, Mayhem pools us to the field to safety and I start wrapping both our bodies with bandages.

"Guys, I was trying to tell you the armor has a flaw" April shouts

Donnie has a flashback to when they broke the teapot skull head and shoved a Jupiter Jim figurine into the hole. Using his mystic goggles he finds the exact location of said flaw. The boys and their goofy selves come up with a plan to distract Draxum which works beautifully.

Leo at the last second while being tightly coiled in the clutches of the snake tentacles opens a portal and a single baseball bounces off the helmet towards April she uses a bat to hit a home run which pushes the figurine into the helmet and the armor rejects Draxum.

A huge explosion of pink colors and goo spews everywhere. While everyone celebrates their victory I get the sneaking suspicion things aren't over yet. I soon a dark and evil force surrounded me, it almost felt like I was being crushed by sheer power. I look over to the pile of armor and it starts to reattach itself, its towering and menacing figure stands before us.

Papa Lui and Papa Brutus bow to their master and rejoice.

"All hail the Shredder!"

A/N HEY guys sorry for not posting for a while. Been a bit busy but I've decided to have an upload schedule I'll either post on Saturdays or Sundays. I may or may not have a chapter for every week but I'll try to post more often.

[burning-quesadilla]

May I request Saruman The White in either 26. Jazz Record OR 52. Empty Threat for the color palette thingy?

Of course!

This is such a pretty color palette I honestly feel like I’m not doing it justice

[ardanirnthedas]

The Hobbit Confessions 1

I first saw the Hobbit about 3 months ago, and at the time hadnt watched the Lord of the Rings in near a decade (since i was six)- so my interpretation of familiar people kept throwing me off during the films. And so i thought i should see if anyone else felt like this the first time any of you watched it. (Probs not, but i found it amusing enough not to care)

Galadriel: i kept staring at her in bewildered concern the moment she came on screen. I didn’t recognize her for what she did in Lotr, but my brain insistence on her being a well meaning but completely freaky and turn on a dime emotionally intense person didn’t ease until she faced the ‘Necromancer’ and a flood of half forgotten memories hit me like a sledge. My cat can attest that i climbed the couch in record time to get out of the vicinity of her gaze, because apparently my younger self only created self preservation instincts to warn me of overtly powerful people who could end me with a shout if only they were alive in my living room to do it.

Elrond: made me unreasonably happy for reasons i still cant explain, and my brains backlog of red skull and Mr. Smith moments left me sad.

Saruman: the moment Saruman showed on screen i had to pause the movie because my brain started screeching Evildoer on repeat and would not YIELD! I spent five minutes replaying the same thirty seconds of film just so i could hear him complain about Mushrooms at least once through the cacophony of the mental force equivalent of hitting a wrestler with a chair.

[fangirl-erdariel]

Strangely enough, I've come to realize that I don't really see a whole lot of point in the fandom discussions regarding who/what Tom Bombadil is

Like, I've played around with the question myself a bit at one point or another, I have some thoughts regarding it, but the more I think of it, the more I feel like answering that question would be pointless (to me, at least; this is of course a personal and subjective opinion)

It's just... well, we know Tom Bombadil has certain... power, for lack of a better word, even if the specific extent of it is a bit unclear (let's be honest, the specific extent of any character's explicitly magical/supernatural abilities is a little unclear, middle-earth is a very soft magic system kinda world). We know his power at least seems to be bound by some (possibly self-imposed?) rules to a specific geographical area. We know he's, well, he's Tom Bombadil. He seems a little fickle, a creature of the moment acting on his own whims and habits which may seem nonsensical and inexplicable to an outside looker, but at the same time he's primarily friendly, vaguely benevolent toward the hobbits - but then again, the hobbits mean no harm to him or his; who knows how he would respond to hobbits or other people who came to the Tom's lands with ill intent?

Ultimately, what would the sure knowledge that he is a maia, or that he's Eru Ilúvatar, or that he's the physical manifestation of The Music or The Secret Flame or of the world as it was in the beginning in a primal state before Morgoth and then Sauron actively began to try take over it, or... whatever, what would the sure knowledge actually change? It would remove the mystery about what he is, but it wouldn't really, as far as I see, really explain anything about his behavior or what we see him do, I can't see how it would actually affect the way you see his actions in the book? (The only explanation/headcanon for his identity that I will accept is that he's, like, all the valar taking turns to go on a holiday and get away from the responsibilities of their job and all the other drama and bullshit, because at least that's funny)

Like I genuinely think that at the end of the day, the best explanation for who/what he is is the same one Goldberry gives to the hobbits when they ask: "He is."

Plus, besides the fact that I don't think it would add anything truly worthwhile to the character, I think removing the mystery, having a sure, true, canon answer, would take something away. Like, part of what makes Tom fun is the mystery, the fact that he just is there and is sort of inexplicable.

Part of what makes Middle-Earth overall fun, if you ask me, what creates such depth and richness and sense of adventure to the world, is the mystery, the unknown. The fact that as much as we get to see across the books, it's clear there's still more we do not know. There's always more lands beyond the horizon, that we get only vague references to and never see.

There's vague references to mysterious, dangerous, "Nameless Things" lurking in the deep dark places of the world. Some places in the nature, apparently, have some kind of spirits, enough at least to be conscious and have some kind of will and ability to act, such as Caradhras (yeah in movies it's made to be Saruman explicitly, but my takeaway from the books has always been that it was most likely the mountain itself, that while not necessarily actively in league with the evil forces, is kind of vaguely malevolent anyway) - and is the River-Woman, Goldberry's mother, also some kind of spirit of a place/natural feature? the name at least implies so. And what is the Watcher in the Water that the Fellowship encounters at the gates of Moria anyway, and how did it end up in the lake? Why is Beorn - and his ancestors - able to change into a bear, and are there humans in the world who are able to change form into some other animals? Oh, and then in Silm there's that one single instance of a sword just talking, but no other recorded instances of talking weapons in the rest of the legendarium, what's up with that? And what are the Barrow-wights anyway, ghosts or evil spirits or what?

Some of those may have Doylist explanations; Beorn and his shapeshifting can probably be chalked up to "Hobbit wasn't initially meant to be part of the same setting as Silmarillion, and therefore wasn't written with same rules and worldbuilding applying to it, so certain parts seem a bit strange in the hindsight". The talking sword case is definitely "Tolkien copied the scene almost directly from Kullervo's suicide in Kalevala, in which the hero asks his sword to kill him and the sword replies" (for those interested to see what I mean, send me an ask and I can show you the relevant scenes). And so on and so forth.

But the Watsonian explanations are... more up for interpretation.

And I just like the fact that the world has so much mystery, so many unexplained things and vague references to stuff we never really have the time or opportunity to look at in detail, it just makes the world feel so huge and so rich and so strange. And quite frankly, some parts of that mystery are, in my opinion, better when they're left mysterious and untouched, and there's no explanation that could make it better than the mystery is. Although some, of course, are fun to toy with and try to explain with headcanons. But to me at least, Tom Bombadil falls into the "better when unexplained" category

[typellblog]

so i figured i'd finally bother taking a look at the lord of the rings mtg set not because i particularly give a shit but just to find out how they handle the Istari's coloured names with mtg's inbuilt colour system

so we have Radagast the Green

no less than four different versions of Gandalf, which i feel like has to be a record for alternate versions of a single named character in the same set

at least they managed to make Gandalf the White actually white

on the other hand we have Saruman the Blue

and who could forget Saruman of the Two Additional Colours

once he figures out how to use red and green mana he'll be unstoppable

[anarcho-occultism]

Rare crossover setting person who was also real.

Please note this is based on combining fictional depictions of Crowley in a crossover setting please do not take anything here too seriously.

Aleister Crowley

Aleister Crowley (1875-1947) was an English occultist and magician. Even with centuries of prominent magicians arising and asserting themselves—from John Constantine to Saruman to Stephen Strange to Merlin to Heinrich Kemmler—Crowley nonetheless manages to stand out in the history of magic. This is not due to being among the more powerful magicians—indeed compared to many wizards, witches, sorcerers and mages he was rather weak. Nor was he exceptional in his alignment. While he claimed to speak with many entities of a darker note such as the Great Old Ones, the Lords in Black and various demons, he did not appear to direct much of his energies into working to bring about the destruction of the old world even as he did genuinely seek a new Aeon. On the other hand, Crowley was not exceptionally good either. A number of his acolytes would go on to do quite awful things citing his ideals as inspiration even if Crowley himself steered clear of such things. His knowledge of the principles of occultism was solid, but far from universal. Perhaps the main thing that makes Crowley stand out was his own sense of flamboyance and willingness to be known as a magician.

Crowley was born to an upper-class family in Britain in 1875. From a young age, Crowley was fascinated by more supernatural aspects of the world. He was supposedly a childhood friend of Cecil Phantomhive and claimed to have met Phantomhive’s rumored demonic servant on several occasions. Crowley as a child also reported an encounter with the infamous Mr. Hyde as a child. Hyde, in a state between sizes, chased young Crowley for several blocks but ultimately did not harm the child. Crowley also bore witness to the ‘Autumn of Death’ in 1886 and claimed to never have believed the claims of London authorities that sightings of the undead in this time were the result of illness-induced hallucinations. These childhood encounters helped establish Crowley’s early fascination with esoteric topics and hidden knowledge, as did the various murders of Jack the Ripper and Count Dracula that occurred around the same time. Crowley tended to be drawn to the darker side of the occult in particular, but was also fascinated by the Kabbalah and various legends of ancient gods from Egypt, Greece and Mesopotamia.

Crowley would seek out a number of groups in the 1890’s. He was involved in forming the Guild of Calamitous Intent in 1897 alongside a number of other notable figures. Crowley would be removed from the group, however, as a result of attempting to use the powers of a mystical orb for himself. An embittered Crowley would next seek initiation into the Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose, a highly powerful secretive magical order. However, Crowley failed the vetting process and was as a result not allowed to fully initiate, with his mind wiped so he could cause no trouble for the group. The group Crowley ultimately would stick with the longest in this time frame would be the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn. The Golden Dawn was far less powerful than the Blue Rose and its members were not as strong, but Crowley would remain involved in the group until 1901. In 1901, while visiting Egypt, Crowley would come into contact with a number of divine beings. The goddess Nuit and the gods Hadit and Ra-Hoor-Kut spoke to him, dictating the text of a document he later titled The Book of the Law, which proclaimed a number of genuine esoteric secrets alongside the titular Law, being “Do what thou wilt, that is the whole of the law.” Crowley recorded this text in three days with help from his wife Rose and additionally came into contact with the goddess Babalon and the entity Aiwass, who provided guidance in how the Book ought to be written.

Following this, friction soon arose within the Golden Dawn. Crowley’s longtime partners SRMD and Arthwaite would turn on Crowley over forming this new doctrine as the two secretly intended to use the Golden Dawn to advance the agenda of the Black Lodge and viewed Crowley’s ideas as threats to this goal. An undeterred Crowley would chose to break off from the Golden Dawn and form his own group, the Ordo Templi Orientis. The OTO drew a number of major figures over the years, not all of whom remained within the group. The occultist Albion Crawley, who operated largely independently for many years, was an early member, as was Roderick Burgess before he broke off to form his own less successful group. The poet Shelley Arabin, the doctor John Taverner, and the defrocked ex-priest Damien Morcata all were early members of the OTO. The OTO practiced a number of rituals that seemed odd to outsiders and Crowley often bragged about engaging in depravity. He also claimed to communicate with evil forces and called himself ‘the Great Beast 666.’ However, as he eventually expelled Morcata over attempting human sacrifice, it appears this was primarily for show rather than genuine black magic.

Crowley was quite active in the period from after World War I to 1947. He had a residence called Bolskine. He earned quite a reputation as a flamboyant character, but set himself apart from other magicians by his deliberate pursuit of a high profile. Crowley’s prominence led to him being consulted as an expert on occult phenomenon by outsiders such as Professor Edward P. Dunning, American detective Nero Wolfe and criminal mastermind Harry Lime. Crowley also made the acquaintance of American rocket scientist Jack Parsons and encouraged his study of the occult—encouragement which led Parsons ultimately to ill-fated interactions with L. Keith Winton and the ruining of Parsons’ personal life (Crowley himself worked with Parsons and Winton on a lunar expedition in the early postwar era that led to his face being carved into the dark side of the Moon). While most of those who came to Crowley were people who lacked any genuine knowledge of the occult, Crowley did encounter genuine supernatural entities and had some talent.. The magician Oliver Haddo had a number of contacts with Crowley and is generally accepted as the root source of many of Crowley’s deeper magical practices that possessed unambiguous and genuine power. He met the immortal woman Mara at one point and used her experiences to further shape his skill in that side of things. An encounter with a changeling who conformed to others’ desires was another encounter Crowley had that risked great consequences, as Crowley wanted the changeling to be a harbinger of the New Aeon. Crowley himself is considered responsible for creating the Unsound, a cursed audio form that can, if heard in totality, kill one within a year of hearing it. Crowley also formed the sect known as the Hymn of One, which remained active until relatively recently.

In the postwar era, the aged Crowley engaged in a number of pursuits intending to allow him to live for far longer. Crowley had, in his younger years, made a pact with a demon for increased sexual prowess and feared torment in Hell. As a result, he sought to avoid death by any means necessary. Crowley carried out a ritual based on ancient alchemy and texts obtained from a parallel world dominated by alchemists to produce a new body for his soul to inhabit, but the replica he produced of himself (a younger, long-haired version of himself but who possessed his memories) fled rather than complied, ultimately rejecting occultism in favor of hyper-advanced science in exile in Japan. Crowley, on his deathbed, carried out a ritual intending to ensure he was reborn. This ritual succeeded in part, but unfortunately trapped his soul in a realm inspired in shows made by Toon actors conforming to many of the rules of that world. Meanwhile, Crowley’s body would be found by a vampire, who converted him into one. This vampiric body would go on to dub himself Black Sabbath and carry out many atrocities. A portion of Crowley’s soul had been left behind in his body before the vampire attack and this portion was consigned to Hell as agreed. Eventually, this shard of Crowley’s soul would become a demon using Crowley as his name. This demon would eventually become ruler of Hell—something that doubtless the original Crowley could not help but envy.