#sapnap as well with how he said he knows ppl r always talking about him behind his back
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dwtdog · 2 months ago
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this is the same thing george went through earlier this year about learning how people he considered friends actually hated him but were nice to his face. and this is why i don’t get upset about dnf not joining events, if i had to deal with all of this shit with so called friends, i wouldn’t even want to touch it with people im not friends with
it is. and it's so heartbreaking i'm glad dteam have each other
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poisoned-peppermint · 3 years ago
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Part 4 of incorrect quotes because i feel obligated to make more due to the sheer number of people who liked it
Dream: My dearest beloved fuckos, is a fun, gender-neutral way to begin a speech
George: See also, esteemed bastards
Bad: Gentlefolk, Ferals, and Domesticated cryptids. 
Sapnap: My fellow yees and haws
~~~~~~~
Techno:Hey I know skyrim is revered as a classic but are we just going to ignore the fact that the entire game only had like 3 voice actors
Wilbur:Stop right there criminal cum
Techno:My ancestors are smiling at me, bastard, can you say the same
~~~~~~~
Foolish:When's your bedtime :)
Purpled: Whenever I next collapse in purely up to the gods
~~~~~~
Ranboo:Human skin is a fursuit for skeletons 
Tubbo: i’m going to debone you like a fucking trout
~~~~~~
Bad:You’re enough
Bad: love yourself!!!!!!! or suffer my wrath!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dream:And by wrath I mean love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bad:no I mean wrath!!!!! You reading this, if you don't love yourself I’ll beat you with a stick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~~~~~~~
Bad:I hope everyone is today well! And tomorrow!!!! After that you’re on your own.
~~~~~~
Bad:what am I supposed to do all day while you’re at work
Skeppy:I don’t know, what do you normally do while I’m gone
Bad: wait for you to get back
~~~~~~
Velvet:For my next stunt, I’ll wake up at 5am on the day I can sleep in
Ant:Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.
Velvet:Early to bed and early to rise makes me a massive bitch
~~~~~~
Tubbo: 3:23 AM make a wish
Ranboo: I wish that you would go to sleep
Tuddo: Yeah well I wish I grew an inch taller every day as you get an inch shorter until you’re as flat as as a piece of paper and I’m 11 feet tall
Ranboo: You’re going to die of a mixture of skeletal instability and heart disease.
Tubbo: Yeah but I’ll look good while doing it.
~~~~~~
Bad:Disrespect me again and I’ll determine your bodies resonant frequency and play a jaunty horn solo that boils your miserable organs inside out 
~~~~~~
Quackity: If I were dating you?  Well, heh. Let’s just say horses wouldn't be called horses anymore
Karl: hey what the honk does this mean…..I’m shaking what does this mean!
~~~~~~
Skeppy: Are you ok?
Bad wrapped in a burrito blanket drinking his 6th cup of coffee: Yes, this is exactly what mental stability looks like
~~~~~~
Sam: My hands are cold
Ponk: *holds their hands*
Ponk: better?
Sam: My lips are cold too
~~~~~~
George at dream’s funeral: can I have a moment alone with them?
Sapnap: of course *leaves*
George leaning over dream’s casket: Now listen, I know you’re not dead.
Dream: yeah no shit
~~~~~~
Skeppy, jokingly: I should have Bad kill you for that.
Bad, peering around the corner: Who do I need to kill?
Skeppy: Wh- no, I was just kidding around.
Bad, pulling out a switchblade: No, who’s bothering you
~~~~~~
Bad *watching the news*: Some idiot tried to fight a squid at the aquarium.
Skeppy *covered in ink*: Maybe the squirt was being a dick.
~~~~~~
Peacock: *spreads feathers at Bad*
Skeppy: It’s trying to attract a mate
Bad, extremely confused: *shyly lifts top*
Skeppy: No!
~~~~~~
Sapnap: Karl, do you eat olives? My dad wants to know
Karl: No, I hate olives. Olives are the spawn of satan. I hate olives so much my mom forced me to live in Mount olive for the rest of my childhood as a curse from the olive gods. Do you understand how much olives have ruined my life? I'm so offended that you asked me that have some consideration for people who have been abused by olives please!
Sapnap: K A R L ……….they’re just olives!!?
Karl: JUST OLIVES EXCUSE!
~~~~~~
Tommy: If you’re bored you can simply close your eyes and rotate a cow in your mind. It’s free and the cops can’t stop you
~~~~~~
Wilbur: is there anyone even named sheldon irl?
Tubbo: my class turtle from 6th grade :)
Wilbur: that’s a turtle
Tubbo: When god sings with his creations, will a turtle not be part of the choir?
~~~~~~
Ranboo: No bcuz why do ppl like salad?? What’s so good about it
Tubbo: chew leaf like god intended
Ranboo: No
Tubbo: Abandon god and see what he does next time you lift your hands in prayer
~~~~~~~
Tommy: Guys, there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly.
Wilbur, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.
~~~~~~
Quackity: So according to the cease and desist order I got, apparently you can’t ‘legally’ be a lawyer if your license is ‘cut out of a cereal box’.
~~~~~~
Puffy: If you had too, what would you give up food or sex?
Bad: Sex.
Skeppy: Seriously, answer faster.
Bad: I’m sorry honey, when they said sex I wasn’t thinking about sex with you.
Skeppy: It’s like a giant hug.
Puffy: Ant, what about you? What would you give up sex or food?
Ant: Food.
Puffy: Okay, how about sex or dinosaurs?
Ant: ……...Oh my God it’s like the movie Sophie’s Choice.
Gumi: What about you Velvet? What would you give up sex or food?
Velvet: Oh… um… I don’t know, it’s too hard.
Gumi: No, you gotta pick one.
Velvet: Um, food… no, sex… no, food…sex… food. Ugh! I don’t know! I want both! I- I want Antfrost on bread!
~~~~~~~
Tommy, holding a gun: If the conspiracies about life being a simulation are true WHOEVERS CONTROLLING MY SIM I JUST WANNA TALK.
~~~~~~~
Bad: Why are you guys acting like this?
Boomer: Oh, we’re not acting. We really are like this.
~~~~~~
Techno: Dream has only knocked me out three times this week. Our friendship is really developing.
~~~~~~
Tommy: You’re pathetic!
Wilbur: You’re pathetic-er!
Techno: You’re both losers.
~~~~~~
Bad: I wish I could help you, but I shorn’t.
Skeppy: Bad, please!
Bad: What part of shorn’t don’t you understand?
~~~~~~
Tubbo: Why did you leave Wrestlemania on for Michal?
Ranboo: They need to learn how to protect us.
~~~~~~
Antfrost: I regret getting dragged into your heterosexual tomfoolery.
~~~~~~
Bad: Strawberry milk doesn’t taste like strawberry OR milk.
Skeppy: Go the fuck to sleep Bad!
Bad: LANGUAGE!!
~~~~~~
Ranboo: Tubbo, please calm down.
Tubbo: I asked for two large fries!
Tubbo: *dumps fries onto table*
Tubbo: But all they did was give me a MILLION FUCKING LITTLE ONES!
~~~~~~
Bad: That was the worst throw ever. Of all time.
Skeppy: Not my fault. Somebody put a wall in the way.
~~~~~~
Wilbur: When you’ve been on the internet for as long as I have, you develop thick skin.
Tommy: Navy blue isn’t your color.
Wilbur: Navy blue brings out my eyes you prick! *Chases after Tommy*
~~~~~~
Bad: *Pulls a glass a water from out of nowhere*
Puffy: Where did you get that?.
Bad: My pocket.
Puffy: How do you keep a glass of water in your pocket?
Bad: Skills.
~~~~~~
Tubbo: I will come to your house after work and knock on your window at 11 AM. You will not open the curtains, knowing full well what awaits you, but the knocking only grows louder, more demanding. Finally it stops, your ears ringing. You nervously let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. You're safe now. Minutes pass by and you start to relax. And then you hear a knock at the front door. Like before, you stay still and clutch the blankets around you. You try to tell your self that it's just your imagination. Maybe the milk man? But why would he come so late? Everyone else was asleep, save for Naomi who was playing video games down stairs. To your relief, the knocking stops after a few. Minutes and you breath easy once more. Until you hear a knock on your bedroom door. You don't move. It's just your imagination. She isn't here. She can't be here. You tell yourself, shutting your eyes and willing yourself to sleep. The knock comes again, but with horror you realize that it came from the closet inside your room. You know that you have no choice. You get up, climbing out of bed with shaking limbs. You walk to the closest, trembling, and holding back the tears threatening to spill over your porcelain cheeks. You hesitate with your hand over the closet handle. Maybe it's just your imagination? She's not really there. You can go to sleep and laugh it off in the morning. Your naive thoughts are cut off by another, more demanding knock on the closet door, inches from your face. You know what you have to do. You open the closet door, and there she stands. Chuck e cheese, the mouse looms over you in the dim light. It's soulless eyes boor into you. It raises its arms, and you flinch as it begins to floss at lightning speed. Tears spill over your cheeks. This is the last thing you'll ever see.
Ranboo: Wait, Chuck e cheese’s pronouns are she/her? Trans Chuck e cheese? Good for her.
~~~~~~~~
Bad: Would you like something to drink? *They opened the fridge* We have water, milk, juice, spiders, Dr. Pepper-
Quackity: Spiders?
Bad: Spiders it is then.
Quackity: No, that wasn’t-
*But they were already pouring him a brimming glass of spiders…
~~~~~~
Puffy : Make her pussy wet not her eyes.
Velvet : Make his dick hard not his life.
Punz : Break her bed not her heart.
Skeppy : Play with his boobs not his feelings. 
Ant : Get on his dick not his nerves.
Bad : Always salt your pasta while boiling it.
~~~~~~~
Wilbur: Bet you can’t eat 15 crayons!
Tommy: Bet you I can!
Phil: *sips coffee, checks to make sure 911 is still on speed dial, and goes back to reading the paper*
~~~~~~~
Ant: We need a way to lure in new customers?
Ponk: Maybe we could have some fun, interactive events!
Skeppy: Badboyhalo bath water.
Bad: ABSOLUTELY NOT!
~~~~~~~~
Fundy: GET BACK HERE YOU DUMB FUCK!
Wilbur: LET ME RUN FROM THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS!
~~~~~~~~
Bad: Mint is just cold spicy.
Pummel party Squad: …
Gumi: What the actual fuck is wrong with you.
~~~~~~~~
Quackity: Isn’t it amazing how I can feel so bad and still look so good?
~~~~~~~
Tommy: Why does my arm shake and turn bright red when I’m eating dirt?
Phil:
Phil: Why are you eating dirt?
Tommy: Did I ask you if I should eat dirt? No, so answer my question.
~~~~~~~
Tubbo: I wish I could control wasps and bees to sting my enemies.
Quackity: You’re too young to have enemies.
Tubbo: You don’t even know.
~~~~~~~~
Skeppy: Is there a cactus where your heart should be?
Puffy: What’s up your ass this morning!
Bad: *walks in* …Hi!!
Puffy: Hmm… nevermind.
Skeppy: WAIT NO!
~~~~~~~~
Skeppy: Ha! Don’t you know the trappers trap can trap the trapper?
Skeppy: I must be losing it, I’m quoting Bad.
~~~~~~~
Skeppy: Bad, I sense hostility.
Bad: Good, because I hate you
~~~~~~~
Bad: Are you a painting?
Skeppy: What-?
Bad: Because I want to pin you to a wall.
Skeppy: OH GOD I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY YOU WANTED TO HANG ME OR SOMETHING-
~~~~~~
Tommy: You’re giving me a sticker?
Phil: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me-wow!”
Tommy: I’m not a preschooler.
Phil: Fine, I’ll take it back-
Tommy: I earned this, back off!
~~~~~~
Dream, sweating: George, there’s something I need to ask you-
George: Finally! You’re proposing!
Dream: How’d you know?
George: Dream, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.
George: I even picked it up once
~~~~~~~~
*Bad and Skeppy looking at a locked gate into a park*
Bad: Aw. :(
Skeppy: You know what they say.
Bad: Please don’t-
Skeppy: BE GAY DO CRIME! *hops gate*
Bad: Frick-
~~~~~~~~
let me know if ya’ll want more <3
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spaceysp · 4 years ago
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Saying random stuff to feed into the hyperfixations; pick one of these statements to rant about because I wanna read :)) if u want,
How skeppy must feel with everyone meeting up cause BaD JUST COME ON ,
Opinions on bad planning to take skeppy to dinner and all that jazz ,
Skeppys newest video on the skep channel where bad and skeppy are surprisingly sweet to eachother (and how lately in general bad has been less angee with him) ,
Literally the whole discount skeppy situation , bad being literally in love,
Ride with U,,,,,hetero,,,,explanation,,,, anywhere?
ANONNNNN I OWE YOU MY LIFE ILY 
im literally going to talk about all of these so im sorry but read more at your own risk
one: skeppy, i am so sorry a mf does this to you. but seriously, i can only think of a few reasons (that dont sound entirely made for fanfic) that bad keeps putting off meeting skeppy 
1. (the most unlikely) theyve already met and they keep the bit going so the fans dont find out. i can get that they wouldnt want to tell at first because its their own business, but i seriously doubt they would wait very long to confirm it, because ppl honestly can put a lot of pressure and hype on the meetup (esp with skeppy’s “surprise”) so i think theyd release something just so everyone knew that it finally happened! they didnt lie!
2. bad just doesnt want to meet skeppy (actually nvm this is the most unlikely) 
bad seems to be genuinely excited to meet skeppy, even claiming skeppys the one to keep putting it off, not him (which skeppy immediately disproved but) and saying over and over he wants to meet up with him, but always avoiding actually making plans (every single tweet about the meetup) so its clear he does want to meet skeppy eventually, which makes trying to figure out why he wont even harder
3. its not the right time/ waiting for a specific date
leading up to this, i was thinking that there was a pretty good chance theyd meet up on their anniversary, but that never happened rip. the issue is with this is that they guaranteed they would meet up before the end of the year, and at this point theres only one “event” left, but they still dont seem to have any plans to meet. if bad was waiting for the perfect time to do it, why not just tell skeppy to confirm a meetup date? it would get him (and maybe the fans, if they told them) off his back. another variant of this is that there is a set date, but they havent told the public, but again, skeppy seems to be just as much in the dark about this as everyone else
4. health issues 
bads apparently been feeling pretty under the weather lately, with his arm and kidney stones, its very plausible (and reccomended, imo) that bad doesnt want to travel when hes having these problems. of course, skeppy could visit, but he could either not want to spend their time together sick or the plans they have could also be too straining. i think this is probably one of the most likely atm, go see a doctor bbh im begging you
5. bads nervous
this is also one of the more plausible to me. for whatever reason, bads just anxious about it, whether it wont be the same as talking online, or be super awkward or whatever, he could just keep putting it off for that (its still weird and kinda doesnt make sense but in a more realistic way this time)
i know i totally went off track but this brings me to my point, skeppys kinda just waiting for bads confirmation at this point, so seeing his friends have fun meeting up is probably just lowkey depressing and i could see him using it as more the reason they should meet up. really the only thing he can do in this situation(at least, as far as i can tell) is what he has been doing, annoy bad about it or he take advantage of bads jealousy and meet up with someone else. the other option is to randomly come to his house, but it doesnt seem like skeppy is gonna do that, maybe to respect his boundaries? if he was planning on it i think he wouldve done it by now
OKAY NUMBER TWO LETS GO
this kinda ties into my point in the “reasons why bad wont meet skeppy” thing, that bad seems really excited to meet him yet still wont?? its clear he really values any time spent with skeppy, but he also make sure skeppys having a good time too! that why he never does any actual work with skeppy around (i.e. building statues or gathering materials for such), he knows its boring so instead theyll wander around the server telling stupid stories or punching each other off stairs for 20 minutes. im sure itll be the same irl, he mentioned wanting to meet somewhere like a nature reserve or amusement park, probably to make sure theres never a dull moment or time wasted. dinner seems much more low-key, and i wouldnt be surprised if bad just wanted to have an excuse to try and impress him with a nice totally-platonic date
NUMbeR tHree *airhorns* 
they really do be the best of friends! ive noticed that skeppys def been trying to halt arguments fairly quickly now, saying a lot to appease bad and move on, and while bad seems to like to start fights for fun, hes also been a lot more chill lately, im guessing because hes been oh-so desperately missing skeppy and big s was also in Baby mode (aka if bad disagreed with him hed probably just cry until he got his way((sand))) i think that vid just showed them being a lot more natural and happy to talk (plus bad usually is more argumentative when theyre competing, while in that vid they were either just hanging out or working towards a common goal) 
n u m b e r f o u r 
where to even BEGIN with discount skeppy. well, bad actually first came up this idea a few months ago, in either july or august on an idots smp stream when he crafted an ‘artificial skeppy’ in his snack shack that he could talk to whenever skeppy was gone. as we all know idots smp is now rip, but the idea of replacement skeppys remained, just this time they can talk and also ship skephalo. it actually seemed like more of puffys idea at first when she put on skeppys skin as a joke, which bad didnt like the first few times, but when she brought it up again he actually requested it (missing skeppy brainrot 🤔?) this could be either cuz bad wanted to bait some shippers so gave in or he thought it was a pretty funny bit so went along with it (or he actually missed skeppy that much.. surely not ??) either way i think we can agree puffy is not only a comedic genius but a top tier friend and slight wingman, and getting some good jealous skeppy content out of it is also top tier. in conclusion, love and appreciate discount skeppy, badboyhalo has only skeppy on his brain and his friends have to deal with that, hoes (skeppy) mad even though the whole bit is how much bbh is into him
NUMBER FIVE im really doing all of them
What, can be said, about ride with u. GODDAMN. im not tryna insinuate anything, but if someone told me that song reminded them of me i would have no choice but to marry them immediately. i really really want someone to ask bad what songs remind him of any of his other friends (dream, sapnap, george, ant, puffy, etc.) because there are three options
1. theyre just cool platonic friend songs and bad is just in love with skeppy
2. he cant think of any songs for them and bad is just In Love with skeppy
3. they have equal romantic undertones and bad is just Like That with his friends (even so i bet people would be picking out the most minute differences between the songs that make one more.. You Know than the other) 
i know FOR SURe that if i was in bads position (where even the person who made the lyric video assumed they were gay in love) i wouldve curled into a ball and never made another public appearance again, but he really owned that shit, singing it and making unprompted references to it (”i already have a bonnie” YOU AINT SLICK SIR WTF) 
i just wanna know if skeppys listened to it (i mean, hes surely at least heard of it, i know he wouldve seen it all over his timeline) and what he thonks about it. pls tell us big s do you also feel the love in this chilis tonight (ALSO when is someone gonna ask skeppy what song reminds him of bad. im waiting ((hed probably say something like a faster remix or something equally memey (((unless???)))
ANYWAY SORRY FOR MAKING YOU READ ALL OF THAT HOLY SHIT i dont wanna reread this to check for errors so it might be incoherent but again ty for letting me infodump about this it was super fun im in love with you anon
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