#sap ehs training

[allentics01]

Sap Ehs Demo! To attend the demo call us:- +91 9146039100

[jyotikundnani]

Top SAP Courses in Mumbai with 100% Placement Guarantee

One such skill in high demand is SAP (Systems, Applications, and Products in Data Processing), a leading enterprise resource planning (ERP) software. For professionals in Mumbai, pursuing an SAP Course in Mumbai with 100% Placement can be a game-changer. These courses not only equip you with the technical know-how of SAP modules but also ensure that you land a job upon completion. This blog will explore the top SAP courses in Mumbai that offer a 100% placement guarantee, along with details on course syllabus, fees, training certificates, and career opportunities.

Why Choose an SAP Course in Mumbai?

Mumbai, being a bustling business hub, is home to many multinational companies and industries that use SAP software for various business processes. Therefore, the demand for SAP-certified professionals is ever-growing. Opting for an SAP Course in Mumbai provides you with the advantage of learning in a city that offers ample job opportunities. Additionally, with a 100% placement guarantee, these courses ensure that you start your career immediately after completing the training.

Key Benefits of SAP Certification

Enhanced Career Prospects: An SAP certification can significantly improve your job prospects by validating your expertise in handling SAP software.

High Salary Potential: SAP professionals are often offered lucrative salary packages due to their specialized skills.

Industry Recognition: SAP certifications are globally recognized, making you a desirable candidate for employers worldwide.

Versatile Job Roles: With SAP skills, you can explore various roles such as SAP Consultant, Business Analyst, Project Manager, and more.

Overview of SAP Course Syllabus

The SAP Course Syllabus is designed to cover various aspects of SAP software, catering to different industries and business processes. While the exact syllabus may vary depending on the SAP Training Institute in Mumbai, the core modules typically include:

SAP Financial Accounting (FI): Covers financial reporting, accounts payable, accounts receivable, and asset management.

SAP Controlling (CO): Focuses on cost center accounting, internal orders, and profit center accounting.

SAP Sales and Distribution (SD): Involves order processing, billing, and customer relationship management.

SAP Materials Management (MM): Deals with procurement, inventory management, and invoice verification.

SAP Production Planning (PP): Encompasses production planning, control, and scheduling.

SAP Human Capital Management (HCM): Covers employee management, payroll, and time management.

SAP Business Intelligence (BI): Involves data warehousing, reporting, and analytics.

SAP Supply Chain Management (SCM): Focuses on logistics, supply chain planning, and order fulfillment.

Structure of SAP Courses in Mumbai with 100% Placement

SAP Course in Mumbai with 100% Placement offers a structured learning path that combines theoretical knowledge with practical skills. Here’s what you can expect from these courses:

1. Course Duration and Format

The course duration for SAP programs can range from 2 to 6 months, depending on the module and level of expertise. Most institutes offer flexible learning options, including full-time, part-time, and online classes. This flexibility allows working professionals and students to choose a schedule that best suits their needs.

2. SAP Course Fee

The SAP course Fee in Mumbai varies based on the module, course duration, and the reputation of the training institute. Typically, the fee ranges from INR 40,000 to INR 2,00,000. While the cost may seem high, the return on investment is significant, considering the lucrative job opportunities and salary packages available to SAP-certified professionals.

3. Hands-on Training

One of the key components of SAP Course in Mumbai is hands-on training. Institutes provide access to SAP systems where students can work on real-world scenarios and case studies. This practical exposure is essential for gaining the skills needed to implement SAP solutions effectively in a business environment.

4. SAP Training Certificate in Mumbai

Upon successful completion of the course, participants receive an SAP Training Certificate in Mumbai. This certification is a testament to your skills and knowledge, making you stand out in the job market. Employers often prioritize certified professionals, as the certification demonstrates a standardized level of competency in using SAP software.

Career Opportunities After Completing SAP Course in Mumbai with 100% Placement

Completing an SAP Course in Mumbai with 100% Placement opens up a wide range of career opportunities in various industries such as IT, manufacturing, finance, healthcare, and more. Here are some of the top career paths you can pursue:

1. SAP Consultant

SAP Consultants are responsible for implementing SAP solutions for organizations. They work closely with clients to understand their requirements, configure the SAP system, and provide ongoing support. This role requires a deep understanding of business processes and SAP modules. As an SAP Consultant, you can specialize in areas such as SAP FI, SAP CO, SAP SD, SAP MM, and more.

2. Business Analyst

Business Analysts with SAP skills play a crucial role in analyzing business processes, identifying areas for improvement, and implementing SAP solutions to optimize operations. They act as a bridge between the technical team and the business stakeholders, ensuring that SAP implementations align with the organization's goals.

3. SAP Project Manager

SAP Project Managers oversee the implementation of SAP projects from start to finish. They are responsible for planning, coordinating, and executing SAP projects within the specified time and budget. This role requires strong leadership skills, project management expertise, and a thorough understanding of SAP modules.

4. SAP System Administrator

SAP System Administrators are responsible for managing and maintaining the SAP environment. Their duties include system monitoring, performance tuning, backup and recovery, and security management. This role is vital for ensuring the smooth functioning of SAP systems within an organization.

5. SAP Functional Analyst

SAP Functional Analysts focus on specific modules of SAP, such as finance, sales, or supply chain management. They work on configuring the SAP system according to the business requirements, testing the functionality, and providing support to end-users.

Choosing the Right SAP Training Institute in Mumbai

Selecting the right SAP Training Institute in Mumbai is crucial for gaining the necessary skills and knowledge to succeed in the field. Here are some factors to consider when choosing an institute:

Reputation: Look for institutes with a strong reputation and positive reviews from former students. A well-established institute is more likely to provide quality training and placement support.

Experienced Trainers: Ensure that the institute has experienced trainers with real-world SAP expertise. Trainers with practical experience can offer valuable insights and hands-on learning.

Comprehensive Course Content: Verify that the SAP Course Syllabus is up-to-date and covers all essential modules. A comprehensive syllabus ensures that you gain a holistic understanding of SAP software.

Placement Support: The primary benefit of choosing an SAP Course in Mumbai with 100% Placement is the assurance of job placement. Check if the institute offers placement assistance, mock interviews, resume-building workshops, and has tie-ups with companies for job placements.

Hands-on Training and Certification: Opt for institutes that provide hands-on training and offer an SAP Training Certificate in Mumbai upon course completion.

The Value of SAP Training Certificate in Mumbai

An SAP Training Certificate in Mumbai is a valuable asset that enhances your credibility in the job market. It serves as proof of your expertise and knowledge in SAP software, making you a preferred candidate for employers. Moreover, holding an SAP certification can lead to higher salary packages and career advancement opportunities. Employers often consider SAP-certified professionals as skilled and capable of handling complex business processes efficiently.

Conclusion

Pursuing an SAP Course in Mumbai with 100% Placement is a strategic investment in your career. These courses provide a comprehensive understanding of SAP modules, hands-on training, and a guaranteed job placement upon completion. Mumbai's thriving business landscape offers ample job opportunities for SAP-certified professionals, making it an ideal location for pursuing SAP training.

From SAP Consultants to Business Analysts and Project Managers, the career paths available to SAP professionals are diverse and rewarding. With the right training, you can secure a high-paying job in various industries and take your career to new heights. By choosing an SAP Training Institute in Mumbai with a robust curriculum, experienced trainers, and placement support, you can set yourself up for success in the competitive job market.

In conclusion, an SAP Course in Mumbai with 100% Placement offers not just a pathway to employment but a gateway to a prosperous career. With the growing demand for SAP professionals, now is the perfect time to invest in SAP training and unlock your potential for career growth.

[sap-training-in-delhi]

SAP EHS training in Delhi

If you're looking to take your career in EHS to the next level, sign up for SAP EHS Training Institute in Delhi at ERP Training Delhi today. With our expert guidance and comprehensive training, you'll be well on your way to becoming a highly skilled SAP EHS professional.

[ruinmegently]

WIP INTRO — These Barren Wilds

A mysterious figure spat up from the sand journeys with a fortune seeking cutthroat looking to sell him to the highest bidder.

- GENRES - dystopian • magical realism • lgbtq+

- THEMES - friends to enemies • enemies to lovers • post-environmental-apocalypse • classism • oppressive government regime • disability representation • dark themes • redemption arc • found family • unrepentantly queer • journey through foreign lands

- VIBES - your wheelchair has crab legs and it's still a bitch to handle • i'm not a cowboy i'm a cowperson tyvm • eat sand and die trying • cooing at your serrated blade because it's the only child you'll ever have • loving the unlovable • not quite a western but eh close enough • byoa (bring your own anarchy)

oh shit that's me. hey writeblr! you can call me ruin. i'm a 32 year old college dropout, unpublished, who was on track for a B.A in English with a concentration in Creative Writing, like, back when dinosaurs rode men. i'm a nerd for The Process (even if The Process often corners me in a dark alley and beats me up for funsies).

#these barren wilds has been living in my head for months now, and ya'll inspired me to finally try to write it. mostly gonna be posting world building, character development, and rough unedited snippets on here, under the tag above.

if you're writing something similar, or if this genre just vibes with you, you are always welcome to spam my ask box so we can geek out about our ideas together!

anyways, i never know how to end these things, ily k bai.

.oo1 — july 31st

Big man lays an old hag flat on her face. Roughs her up with a boot on her hand. Whole crowd hears the crunch, unappetizing, but that doesn’t stop their steady procession shuffling single file to cash in the day’s food vouchers. The lines stretch farther than eyes can see, occluded by a dusty afternoon haze. Vouch Shops close in a couple hours. Sad saps at the back won’t make it before they lock up.

The big guy twists his heel in the lady’s hand. Who knows why. She screams and no one in my line turns but me, like the sound digs actual nails through the back of my skull, so jarring I can’t help but watch.

Hope she shuts up soon.

Ain’t uncommon to see Bruisers at market anyways, but they’ve been showin up more and more. Enforcers sent from way out in Wave came last month to train the dustbloods lucky enough to get a Career Shift Card. To keep the peace, they said. Too much gang activity. Too many deserters.

Right.

The Enforcers are bad enough, but when they send the dregs of Wave to train the dirtiest of Dust, well. You don’t really get new Enforcers outta all that.

“Next!”

“Hey Pops,” I say, elbow on the cracked sandstone counter of the Vouch Shop my line leads to. Gotta bend in half just to plant myself down. Casual, easy, like me and Pops are old friends. Met the guy last week but sure, friends fits just as well as anything else.

“You have it?” Pops asks, beady black eyes squinted against the glare of the sun.

His shop’s west-facing. Most face north or south. I asked him why he wanted to go and stick out like a sore thumb, our first meetup. He told me out west’s where hope’s found, if you can drag yourself far enough onward to find it. He likes the view. He likes knowing there’s more out that way. I told him you gotta scale the walls first, or blunder through em, unless you’re lucky enough to get a new job with a fancy CSC. But then you’ll always be a dustblood, won’tcha?

You can leave the desert but the desert never really leaves you.

[pierrotwrites-hc]

Chapter 43 Sneak Peak

Being locked away in the back of the cart brought back memories of the cell at the training house. Only this time Luca wasn’t the one in pain; Doran was. Somehow, that was so much worse.

Doran spent the next few days feverish, drifting in and out of consciousness. He called out for Annie, for Connell’s mother, for his own. Once even the Duke.

“Infected,” said Connell grimly, surveying the festering mess of Doran’s back. “I’ll need to flush the wounds. Can you hold him down?”

Luca’s new muscle might’ve horrified the Steward, but he still wasn’t strong enough to restrain Doran on his own. The kind guard—his name was Saunders—took hold of Doran’s other arm and braced a knee against his thigh.

Luca had hoped Doran would be too delirious to feel the antiseptic burn through raw tissue, but no luck. He thrashed and bellowed, insensate with pain. Luca grit his teeth and tightened his grip.

The memory came, unbidden, of holding Asher down for Master Boq. Luca pushed it away. He could only hope that Doran would forgive him.

(Luca didn’t hope for forgiveness from Asher. He didn’t deserve it.)

At last, Doran passed out. They shared a sigh of relief. Connell was able to seal the now-clean wounds with pine sap. Already the inflammation was receding.

“You’re a medic, eh?” said the guard, impressed. “Didn’t know they trained slaves for healing. You’ve a deft hand, lad.”

Connell’s ears went pink. Through the haze of guilt and exhaustion, Luca was pleased for him. Connell was brilliant. He deserved to have his gifts acknowledged.

Doran healed more quickly than any of them had dared hope. But something had changed in him. He filled the cart with brooding silences. Luca tried to tell himself that Doran was just in pain, but he knew the hurt went deeper. More than his back had been rent by the whipping. His pride was damaged—and that not even Connell could heal.

Doran’s discontent found an easy outlet in outrage on Luca’s behalf. The Steward insisted on replicating the conditions of the seray as much as possible. Luca was allowed out of the cart only at night, and only to relieve himself. No one was allowed to speak to him, and he was, of course, forbidden to speak without permission.

That’s a kindness, isn’t it, hole? You’ve nothing to say that’s worth hearing.

The first week in the cart, Doran was too out of it to notice how Luca was being treated. How little he was being fed. But it was only a matter of time before Doran heard Luca’s traitorous stomach growl and decided to do something about it.

The next time a guard came with their meals, Doran pushed himself up on his elbow, ignoring Luca’s noise of alarm. He watched through narrowed eyes as the guard set down their rations: a flat loaf of millet bread for Doran, and a crust for Luca.

“Where’s the rest of Luca’s portion, sir?” Doran asked.

The guard shrugged.

“Steward’s orders. He says General Balkas let the Golden Bird get fat.”

The moment the doors slammed shut, Doran exploded.

“Fat! What, because you weigh a little more than your shadow now? Fields of hell, Mouse, that bastard can’t expect you to survive on so little.”

Luca had survived on less, but he wasn’t about to tell that to Doran. It wouldn’t improve his mood.

(Besides, he wasn’t hungry. Funny; hunger had been his companion for most of his life. Now it had deserted him. All that was left was a hollow, void of feeling.)

“Here,” said Doran, breaking off a lump of bread. “You eat that.”

Luca took what he was given. He didn’t want to fight.

When Doran wasn’t looking, he tore the bread in half and tucked the uneaten portion away.

Redditch met General Gaskin with rather less than the expected fanfare. Lieutenant Davies—no, General Davies now, though Gaskin would always see him as a puffed-up little boy with a receding hairline—was holed up in his quarters and refused to greet Gaskin in person.

“Refused” was perhaps a strong word; Davies had sent a fulsomely apologetic letter with his secretary, a spiderlike man with a mouth pinched in what Gaskin suspected was a permanent expression of distaste. But Gaskin knew a refusal when he saw one.

No doubt Davies resented Gaskin’s presence at Redditch. No doubt he surmised—correctly—that it indicated a lack of faith in his leadership.

Had Davies the courtesy to meet him in person, Gaskin would have reassured him that his arrival did not herald a changing of the guard. He would stay at Redditch only long enough to refit his own men and collect supplies for the Enkaaran Legion. During that time, he had intended to do Davies the favor of deferring to him. Or at least appearing to.

But Davies had decided to lock himself in his room like a child. Well, let him stew. Gaskin may only be staying at Redditch for as long as it took to refit and restock, but while he was here, the garrison would answer to his orders and his orders alone.

While Gaskin was busy playing new-crowned King of Redditch, Tris took advantage of his master’s distraction to commandeer Binns.

Binns was not happy to be commandeered. Then again, he never was. It grated on him to take orders from a slave. This was why Tris so enjoyed issuing them.

“Take me to the forge,” he ordered, and watched with amusement as Binns’s face turned colors.

Binns protested, of course—the forge was no place for a pleasure slave, never mind one owned by the most powerful General in Solas—but he knew as well as Tris who held the power here. At last he gave in, on the condition that Tris wear a woolen wrap to protect him from the lascivious eyes of the forgeworkers.

Tris didn’t mind the wrap. It served his purpose to give Binns these little victories. Besides, Redditch was bloody freezing.

At the forge, cold and hot pressure systems converged. At once the wrap felt oppressive. Sweat prickled unpleasantly at his nape. Ignoring Binns’s protests, Tris pulled the wrap down, baring his face.

The reaction was less than he might’ve hoped for. The smiths were either running to and fro or bent over their anvils, hammering madly; they were too busy to look at him. When Tris approached a laborer to ask whether he knew a smith named Finn, the man pointed him to a slave hunched over his anvil at the far end of the forge without more than a fleeting (but, Tris consoled himself, admiring) glance.

He supposed it was to be excepted. Gaskin had ordered new weapons be made for the Enkaaran fleet; the forgeworkers were understandably preoccupied. Besides, that idiot Balkas probably had Luca running errands all over the garrison. No doubt the forgeworkers are used to visits from beautiful courtesans.

Pity. Beautiful courtesans should never be taken for granted.

As Tris approached the slave at the anvil at the far side of the forge, he felt a twinge of unease. The man was big enough to be a barbarian. (Well, a normal-sized barbarian. Tris had always suspected Luca was some sort of mutant.) His shovel-sized hand was wrapped around a hammer, and he brought it down on the red-hot metal on his anvil with enough force to shake the earth.

Apparently Tris wasn’t the only one discomfited by the smith’s strength. He was chained like a dog to his anvil. Had he tried to run?

Tris shivered, and not from the cold. He reminded himself that Aram said they shouldn’t think about running until it was time. They should look at freedom only from the corner of their eye, as if it were the sun on a clear day. Otherwise it could blind them.

The smith—Finn—looked up, and Tris’s unease melted away. His face was broad, sooty, good-humored, with laughing eyes and a mouth that turned up at the corners.

“Don’t tell me you’re another one from Highcourt,” said Finn, grinning. “Come to have your golden collar swapped out?”

“My collar is silver,” said Tris, pulling down his collar to show the gleam. “And I’ve come from Breakwater, not Highcourt.”

“Well, that makes a change.” Finn wiped his hands on his apron, leaving streaks of soot. “What can I do for you, lovely?”

Tris took the funny little box from his tunic.

“My friend asked me to give this to you. He says he solved your puzzle.”

“Your friend?” said Finn, furrowing his brow. Then the coin dropped. “Luca? You know him?”

“We’re colleagues,” said Tris, annoyed. Did this drudge not recognize a pleasure slave when he saw one?

“Yeah. Right.” Finn looked down at the puzzle box. A slow grin broke over his face. “Thank you.”

“I don’t do it to be thanked,” said Tris grandly.

As Tris allowed Binns to herd him back to Gaskin’s quarters, he caught sight of carts at the gate, their contents unloaded by rag-clad peasants. The peasants had that drawn, starved look, and Tris wondered—not for the first time—whether he ought to be glad his mother had been sold after her parents lost their the farm. Slaves were fed, at least, however meagerly.

For a moment, Tris thought he saw a familiar face—so familiar, in fact, that he felt a phantom pain in his nose from an all-too-well-remembered fist. Then it was gone, and Tris was left wondering what in the name of all the gods Asher Lacey was doing at Redditch.

[thewertsearch]

Ooh, fan titles, eh? I like 'em.

Let's figure out what kind of abilities these Players could develop. I'm going to go big for these powers, since I'm imagining them at their full potential. If you're thinking of early-game equivalents to these powers, though, it wouldn't be hard to scale down.

Ace of Space: Well, an Ace sounds like a class belonging to an expert. Maybe this is someone who's particularly 'plugged in' to Space, such that every part of their life relates directly to their aspect. The obvious archetype is an astronaut - someone who's trained their entire life, and gained a wide variety of skills - all with the goal of being completely immersed in Space. Perhaps an Ace of Space would be able to 'scan' a Space-related phenomenon and add it to their repertoire. Show them a Transportalizer in action, and they'd be able to analyze how it works, and learn how to transportalize things themselves. It's a little overpowered, but you could easily fix that by only allowing them to hold one or two Space 'powers' at any one time.

Smith of Gears: The Smith is a class which builds, and Gears is the Aspect of machines. A Smith of Gears would be able to create the magical machines which come out of the Alchemiter - but without using any Sburb tech, or expending Grist. They'd have to do it the old-fashioned way, though, designing and crafting their gear out of materials they've extracted from the environment. To a Smith of Gears, Sburb is half-Minecraft, half-engineering class. I also think this is the kind of Title which could have designed Sburb's tech in the first place. This class is potentially very dangerous.

Voice of Stars: Voice reads as a communication class, which broadcasts information. Stars, though, is hard. Let's say it represents stardom. It's the aspect of celebrity, charisma and notoriety. The Voice of Stars would be an influencer - a Player who makes sure the whole Medium knows their name. No, not their Title - their name. I think you'd be able to 'project' their personality traits onto other people. Like, if you're a natural risk-taker, you'd be able to make the people around you less risk-averse. If you're an anxious person, you can project your fear into your enemies, sapping their morale. Expanding this idea further, maybe you'd be able to transform other people's Lands into parts of your own Land - so, if it was John, he'd be able to turn the part of LOHAC that he's standing on into the kind of oily, shady environment that you'd see in LOWAS. Any Consorts caught in the crossfire would start to report to John as their primary hero, rather than Dave.

Bane of Doom: The Bane of an Aspect would act against that Aspect, so this is someone who uses Doom to counter Doom. I've been picturing Doom as corruption and entropy - so this is a Player who can burn fire, and corrode rust. They can't reverse destruction, but they can make it eat itself, stopping it from doing any more damage. Someone told this Player that everything comes to an end - and they decided that they were going to end endings.

Knight of Earth: This one is very straightforward. I think Knights are a protector class, so a Knight of Earth would protect themselves and their allies with some classic earthbending.

Seer of Song: I'm pretty sure Seers investigate, and I'm going to define Song as the aspect of sound and rhythm. This Player would, of course, have an excellent sense of hearing, and I'm also picturing something like Toph Beifong's tremorsense - including her ability to discern lies. A powerful Seer of Song would be able to extend their awareness for miles around, and nothing in the physical world would be able to hide from them.

[nspdr-neo]

Futa Cassidy was sick of Eva always looking down at her and saying such rude comments! So she decides enough is enough and shows off to Eva her massive girthy cock~! Demanding her to start sucking!

Disclaimer: R18 material! If not to your liking then please do not view!

"No."

"Eh, ehhhhhhhh?!!!!" This isn't how it usually goes. Doesn't just flashing a huge fuckrod guarantee loads of people to get on their needs to suck senseless? Instead, Eva stared at her girthy rod with a look of disinterest. "Why not?!"

"...Hmm, I don't think you can handle it~" Before Cassidy knew it, Eva's fingers reached out and began to jerk her fatty cock rapidly. It was a trap!!! Eva was a clear expert at working a fat cock, with one of her hands fondling Cassidy's balls and the other jerking her cock with sheer intent for a strong orgasm~

Cassidy had no chance in Hell to hold out against Eva's fingers and was cumming repeatedly over the course of a few minutes. Once her strength was sapped she fell to the ground, exhausted and cock covered in creamy spunk...

Much to Eva's satisfaction~ Getting on her knees, she planted a wet kiss on Cassidy's tip before departing.

"Next time, train yourself and I'll give you more than that~"

[therealnuclearplatypus]

okay so i couldn't decide whether i should go for angst or fluff so i did both. two versions of the same story, gone differently. the magic of what ifs.

sooo ... ✨️

Family (You Promised).

a happily-ever-after

A kiss. The child's soft cheek trembled with joyous laughter, and Frank pressed another kiss to the girl's face, eliciting another giggle.

"Daddy, Jason's feeling left out," Emily said, and Frank kissed her a third time. She smiled and gestured for her younger brother to join. The small boy stuck his tongue out at his sister and ran to join the huddle.

Frank pressed a kiss to the boy's wild curls and made him laugh, too. The children were excitedly waiting for their father to return home from visiting his best friend, Piper.

(Auntie Piper always made sure to give him a gift to give to them, whether it was candy or a toy. She spoiled them rotten.)

Downstairs, the door opened and shut, and—

"AUNTIE HAS GIVEN ME GOODS TO GIVE, GET YOUR BUTTS DOWN HERE!"

Jason and Emily hastened down the stairs and into their father's open arms.

He kissed the tops of their heads. "How are my little rascals doing, huh?"

"Presents!" Jason said, hugging Leo's leg.

Leo huffed. "Not even a hello or a 'Father dear, you toil for us so, we love you dearly!'. Nothing of the sort. What rogues are we raising?"

Frank made his way down the steps and smiled at his husband. "You're so melodramatic."

"GASP! Treachery! A knife in the back by my own husband! For shame!" Leo cried, a hand over his heart. Then he broke into a grin and sauntered over to kiss Frank.

"Papaaa," Emily whined. "I wanna seeeeeee—"

"Oh, right, that," Leo said, and tossed them each a massive Mars bar. He glanced at Frank. "She thought it was a riot. Buying them Mars bars. You being the son of Mars. Ha. Ha. Haha."

"Very funny indeed. Hahaha," Frank deadpanned. He looked at Leo and they both burst out laughing.

They went back upstairs to their bedroom, and, while the kids ate their chocolate and rolled around on the carpet, Leo curled in against Frank's side while the latter played with the former's hair.

"Almost got hit by a car on the way back," Leo said casually.

Frank started. "You what?"

Leo shrugged. "No biggie. Car stopped right in front of me. Was speedin' something nasty. I was just there holding the Mars bars like—" Leo mimed trembling in shock and made a face.

Frank held him close. "Be careful."

"Hey, it ain't like it was my fault," Leo replied indignantly. "I looked on both sides and crossed the road real quick and the car jus' fuckin'—"

"PAPA SAID A BAD WORD!" Emily shouted, standing up and looking scandalised.

"He did," Frank said, eyes narrowed. "And now, we are going to make Papa repent for his oopsie."

Leo knew what was coming. They always did it to him when he slipped up and swore in front of the kids. They found it very entertaining and hilarious. He found it very torturous and a fine proof of the fact that they all liked to gang up on him.

The three jumped on him and started tickling him mercilessly. While Leo squirmed and yelled with red-faced laughter, Frank sat back and let his children do it. They carried out their task with glee, and Leo was rendered absolutely helpless. He was too ticklish for his own good. Always had been.

Frank's heart warmed at the scene before him. A family, all his own. To love and be loved by.

The kids finally relented and Leo lay there gasping, cursing them all silently. Frank was still lost in his own thoughts, and Leo became aware of the train of thought his husband was following.

He smiled softly and raised himself up onto his elbows and aimed a smirk at his husband. "You sap. Your thoughts are written all over your face. Goofy lil man. I love you."

"I love you, too," Frank said, blushing at being so obvious.

Leo looked at their children, and smiled his own sappy smile. "It's still amazing that we have all this—that we built it all together. A family."

"Eh, you promised," Frank reminded him. "It was either dogs or cats or kids."

"I did say that, didn't I?" Leo said, remembering. He chuckled.

"Still no for the dog?" Frank said, puppy-eyeing his husband.

"Two kids are a handful enough, do you want more mouths to feed and shit to clean?" Leo asked, but—

"PAPA SAID A BAD WORD AGAIN!" Jason announced, and they descended upon him again. Leo yelled and Frank laughed, and all was right in the world.

or, conversely ...

A kiss. The child's soft cheek trembled with joyous laughter, and Frank pressed another kiss to the girl's face, eliciting another giggle.

"Daddy, Jason's feeling left out," Emily said, and Frank kissed her a third time. She smiled and gestured for her younger brother to join. The small boy stuck his tongue out at his sister and ran to join the huddle.

Frank pressed a kiss to the boy's wild curls and made him laugh, too. The children were excitedly waiting for their father to return home from visiting his best friend, Piper.

(Auntie Piper always made sure to give him a gift to give to them, whether it was candy or a toy. She spoiled them rotten.)

Downstairs, someone knocked on the door, and—

"Mr. Valdez-Zhang?" a voice called, faintly.

Frank started. "I'll be right back," he promised Emily and Jason, and sped down the stairs.

The two lingered by the top of the stairs, inquisitive as always. Frank opened the door and found himself face-to-face with a cop.

"I, uh," Frank said. "What did I do?"

The cop shuffled his feet uneasily and wouldn't make eye-contact. "Nothing, sir. Not you. Um. Well. Er."

Frank found his awkwardness rather endearing. Soft-spoken policemen were rare. "Yes?"

"There's been an accident," the man told him, chafing his hands.

Frank gripped the doorframe tightly. "What? Who?"

"Y-your husband, sir. Leo Valdez-Zhang."

Frank paled. His knees went weak. "What happened?"

"A car—" The cop visibly gulped. "The car was speeding. Unhuman speeds, really. Road was empty then all of a sudden it appeared and ran him over. He had two Mars bars in his hands, two of the really big ones. They got quite literally obliterated. And, um. So did he."

Frank couldn't stand up. He just couldn't. He held onto the doorframe with both hands and looked at the cop silently.

"He had broken ribs. And arms. And legs. He also hit his head very hard on the road, and risked possible spinal damage."

Frank found his voice again. "Why are you using the past tense?"

He knew why, really. He just didn't want to believe it. He didn't want it to be true. It couldn't be.

"Sir," the cop said, with the air of someone struggling to get his words out, "your husband is dead."

Frank slid to his knees on the floor. Emily and Jason were still at the top of the steps. Jason was too young to understand what he'd just lost, but Emily knew that, somehow, she was never going to see her Papa again. She started wailing, a mournful cry that made the cop bow his head even lower and excuse himself.

Now left alone, in every single way possible, Frank cried. He sobbed shamelessly, the door still open for all the world to see. Emily ran down the stairs, still screaming, and he held her, keeping it together for his children and for his children alone. If it weren't for them, he'd be driving off a cliff right now.

"When will Papa come home?" Jason asked from behind them, having just descended the steps. Frank couldn't bring himself to answer; he wept harder.

"Daddy?" Jason tried again, getting agitated. "Daddy, why you cry? No cry. Emmy!" He moved to hug his sister. "I want Papa. Where is Papa?"

"He isn't coming back, Jason," Frank whispered, knowing he couldn't leave the boy in the dark for long, "he won't come back, love. He's gone."

"Gone? Where?" Jason pressed, anxious.

"Away," was all Frank could manage, before he dissolved into fresh tears.

Jason started to cry, too, because everyone else was crying. Frank couldn't take it anymore. He closed the door, picked them up, and climbed the stairs.

The house felt terribly empty. And, without Leo, it probably would always be.

Later, when night fell, and he successfully tucked Emily and Jason in and saw them fall asleep, Emily with some difficulty, he lay alone in the double-bed that was supposed to be theirs, theirs for many years to come. Now, both sides were his own. No one would roll around and steal the blanket anymore. No one would put their cold feet onto his, seeking warmth. No one would wake up with the most horrible morning breath and breath the awful stench into his face on purpose.

He hated it.

"You fucker," he sobbed weakly, "you promised. You promised you'd stay. We have a family. They're ours. You promised we'd grow old together!"

The night did not answer. The silence did not answer. The empty room, made for two, did not answer. No one did.

No one.

@shittygaypornmagazinedotcom @petulant-poet

[une-touille-en-vadrouille]

Mesdames et messieurs, j'ai le plaisir de vous annoncer que Dr Rathatton et moi avons passé une excellente journée ! Et qu'en conséquence, vous aurez le droit à un pavé digne des plus grandes encyclopédies.

Après donc avoir mangé une galette de sarrasin à midi (eh oui les amis, c'est le plaisir de la grande ville !) qui ne nous aura coûté qu'un lobe de foie chacune (eh oui les amis, c'est le plaisir de la grande ville touristique !), nous partons avec notre super guide visiter le village flottant de Kumpung Khleang.

On commence par découvrir le Bamboo sticky rice : des dizaines de stands se succèdent, tous identiques, avec des morceaux de bambous plus ou moins larges dressés le long d'une barre de béton, un "four" artisanal avec des briques maintenant la chaleur sur la seconde moitié de la barre. Dans le bambou, on fourre du riz, des black beans, de l'eau et du lait de coco, puis on crée une petite bourre à base de paille (protégée par une feuille de bananier pour que ça ne rentre pas en contact avec la nourriture), puis on fait cuire au feu de bois pendant 1 heure. Ensuite, on pèle la partie brûlée noire extérieure, et on peut conserver le mélange pendant plusieurs jours. Au moment de le manger, on craque le haut du bambou en appuyant fort avec les doigts, puis on "pèle" le bambou à la main, on retire le bouchon, et on dévore le tout ! (Vu qu'on vient de se péter le bide avec une galette, c'est dur, mais c'est très bon hihi)

On continue ensuite avec une petite boulangerie artisanale qui fournit les villes voisines en gourmandises diverses, et découvrons le tamarin séché/confit (j'ai adoré), les graines de lotus au piment (pour la santé de vos dents, fuyez), et les mini donuts au sucre de palme (Clémentine a défoncé le paquet tout l'après midi, je dirais qu'on peut dire sans trop de stress qu'elle a aimé). J'apprends au passage que le sucre de palme est fait à partir de la fleur et non du fruit : on la coupe, on récolte le jus, et on fait bouillir tout ça jusqu'à cristallisation.

(il est beau le sourire de notre guide hein)

Nous arrivons ensuite en vue du village, sur une route bien étroite sur laquelle a été installé un genre de chapiteau de mariage (c'est marrant comme on comprend quand les gens jurent, même dans une autre langue, petite démonstration de notre chauffeur). Là, les gens font sécher du poisson sous leur maison ! Les hommes sont à la pêche, les femmes préparent les poissons (coupage de tête pour les plus petits, vidage pour les vraiment gros, ça me rappelle la Malaisie), les piquent en brochette et les font sécher une bonne heure au soleil, puis les fument pendant 2j. Les réserves peuvent se conserver pendant un an comme ça ! En période de pluie, pas de place pour faire sécher, le poisson est mangé frais (mais on peut pêcher depuis le pas de sa porte, ça simplifie …). Sur la photo, toute la partie droite ce sont des petits poissons en train de sécher !

Ce qu'il faut comprendre sur ce village, c'est que le lac du Tonle Sap passe de 3000km2 de superficie à plus de 10000km2 à la saison des pluies. En bref, l'eau monte ! Du coup, il y a deux types de maison, qui abritent toute la famille (une dizaine de personnes souvent) : les maisons sur pilotis, qui passent toute l'année hors de l'eau (construite avec du bois qui met normalement 50 ans avant de s'abîmer au contact de l'eau, sans traitement), et celles qui sont conçues pour ne durer que la saison sèche. Elles passent 6 mois de l'année sous l'eau, et leurs habitants sont le reste du temps sur des maisons flottantes ! Dans des cas très rares, si l'eau du lac monte trop, les maisons sur pilotis peuvent également se trouver inondées (voire carrément sous la surface, ce qui est arrivé il y a une quinzaine d'années), auquel cas les familles doivent se retrancher sur leur bateau. Toutes les familles ont en gros trois bateau : un suffisamment gros pour les accueillir et naviguer sur le Tonle Sap, un intermédiaire à un ou deux moteurs utilisé pour la pêche, et un plus petit qui sert aux déplacements des enfants dans le village (école, voisins, etc…).

Ça ce sont les pilotis (notez le panier plat en équilibre sur un poteau : c'est pour ranger les poissons du jour à l'abri des chats !)

Certaines familles préfèrent rester sur l'eau toute l'année sur de véritables maisons flottantes : pour construire une maison sur pilotis, il faut avoir acheter la terre associée, et c'est bien trop cher pour des pêcheurs. Ça, ce sont les maisons flottantes :

L'association avec laquelle nous faisons le tour du village fait beaucoup de projets dans la zone, notamment sur l'éducation. Notre guide nous raconte ainsi que quand il était jeune, l'accès à l'éducation était très compliqué : l'école n'avait lieu que de façon partielle pendant la saison des pluies. En effet, pas de professeur à plein temps (même maintenant), ils sont d'abord pêcheurs. Pendant la saison des pluies, il était facile d'aller pêcher à côté du village, alors qu'en saison sèche, les pêcheurs déménageaient souvent sur le lac du Tonle Sap pour continuer à travailler. Aujourd'hui, les bateaux sont à moteur, le problème ne se pose donc plus ! Les enfants ont école le matin ou l'après midi, puisque l'instit a besoin de temps pour aller pêcher (avec des pièges, dans le lac, ou dans les "fish farm"). Cette école a été créée pour les 6-8 ans: quand le village est entièrement inondé à la saison des pluies, ils n'ont pas la force de ramer des kilomètres dans les petits bateaux pour aller en cours. En plus, c'est super dangereux, ce sont des coques de noix qui se renversent dès qu'il y a trop de houle, et ils nagent mal à cet âge : avant la création de l'école, les enfants avant 8 ans restaient à la maison la moitié de l'année, ils prenaient énormément de retard sur leurs camarades. Désormais, l'école étant au milieu du village, ils peuvent y aller toute l'année ! A leurs 9 ans, c'est direction l'école publique, située à côté de la grande pagode (en zone normalement insubmersible).

Voilà la jolie salle de classe actuelle, dont j'ai eu peur de traverser le plancher un certain nombre de fois... A noter que ce qu'on voit sur la photo, ce sont des tables, pas des bancs : les enfants s'assoient par terre.

On prend ensuite le bateau pour aller voir le soleil couchant sur le lac, et on croise en chemin des gros tas de jacinthes d'eau. Apparemment, la fleur se mange, mais elles sont utilisées ici pour une tout autre raison ! Elles servent dans leurs "fermes à poisson".

Les fameuses fish farm sont sous deux formes : elles sont soit montées avec des grands filets assez standards, soit constituées de grands enclos ouverts. Les enclos ont des bouts de bois espacés régulièrement, et à l'intérieur des jacinthes d'eau ont été piégées (elles s'échouent naturellement dans toute la zone) : elles servent à attirer les poissons en leur servant d'abris. Au bout de quelques semaines, ils ferment l'enclos avec des filets, mettent les jacinthes de côté, et pêchent le contenu !

Si vous êtes arrivés au bout de ce pavé, félicitations ! On est en tout cas très contentes d'avoir eu des échanges aussi intéressants avec un gars du coin 🥰

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[jibb33z]

I have apparently controversial thoughts about Umbrella Academy and I'm putting them here so I don't go absolutely insane

I liked episode five okay? I fucking liked it.

Five's only personality traits don't have to be sarcasm and murder, I adored the way you could see him falling in love in what was a relatively short time, I think AG did an excellent job showing it in subtle facial expressions and I will die mad on this god damn hill if it kills me.

I cried at the train scene with the flashbacks.

Okay sure the love triangle thing was a bit EH but like. It was lovely seeing him be sweet, okay?? Forgive me for sounding like a sap, but it KILLED me he never said he loved her because it was so obvious to me that he did. All we've ever seen Five be is condescending and murderous, he's lived a full ass life of pain and steeling himself against the world, and then he finally finds a glimpse of happiness and it fucking SHOWS.

And then, surrounded by simple domesticity, a face sharpened by hatred goes soft and everyone treats it like it's character assassination.

Anyway yeah. I liked seeing a different side of Five. My only criticisms are that it was only done in half an episode, when more time would have made the eventual moment be more poignant, and that I think they could have made it a bit clearer how old Five is meant to be, because I was a bit... Cautious about that, until I did the maths. But. Otherwise. Yeah. I think they did it well, I think AG did a good job of showing a harsh character slowly feeling something soft, and it was bloody cute, actually.

Characters are allowed to be multifaceted. Funny, that.