#santa rm

[nyx07]

Yo misma la alejé pero no entendía lo que valía hasta que me dejo

ℕ𝕐𝕏-𝟘𝟟

[melyrios30]

Si hay otra vida te iré a buscar al infinito, al fondo del mar por puro amor será por eso llore tus besos y una última lágrima derramare💔❤️‍🩹

[callmehawkeye]

The little peace I’ve been longing for. 🎄💙✨🌨 #5thchicagochristmas #makeyourowntraditions #happyyule (at Chicago, Illinois) https://www.instagram.com/p/CmmYkY7OQz3/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[yoongsisbae]

Stories by Member

JJK

Not a Creature was Stirring You wake up Christmas Eve night not to find Santa, but to find a man cold and shivering on your front porch. Clothes tattered, cuts on his body, out in the snow. You find out he’s not as helpless as he appears. Kind of cute, kind of scary, very buff Jungkook Fantasy AU. Spring Day Still with You [Sequel to Not a Creature was Stirring] You ran away from the cold, Jungkook ran with you, warming each other’s hearts. But within the cycle of life, there is death, and as spring blooms, the blood still lays soaked in the dirt. You ran and they chased. Hybrid!Jungkook.

Banana Milk It’s Jungkook’s Birthday, will he get his birthday wish?

The Fantasy You and your boyfriend try out a new form of role play, but it just keeps going wrong…

I Didn’t Mean It, I Still Love You Yoongi made a mistake, will you forgive him? Or is it too late?

Ddak-ji SLAP Jungkook, Seokjin, and you decide to play a game…and then you fu-

Campfire Burning A steamy fic inspired by a certain vlive.

Seven Days a Week Every day, Jungkook shows you his devotion, deeper than the ocean. Seven different scenarios, seven days a week. idol!jungkook x noona!reader

Go Home, You're Drunk! - 75% “Who…are…you…” “Your worst nightmare, sweetheart.” “Really? Because you look like you belong in a boyband.” whacky and dark & for all the girlies who love an unhinged yandere character

The Snap - 70% The only surviving member of BTS, it takes Jungkook five years to find happiness again. And then life snapped back. What is Jungkook going to do now?

KTH

Christmas with a Vampire There once was a time when holidays were warm and special, Taehyung remembers. To you, even in his coldness, Taehyung is all you need for Christmas. Cyber-punk futuristic AU with a self-hating vampire Tae.

BTS Song Fic (Blue and Grey) Sad song. Sad story. Sad author. Happy reader?

V is for Villain 1 / 2 / 3 - 90% What does it mean to be a villain? What does it really mean to be a vigilante? A vanquisher of evil or a victor for the good? Stories praise the fall of devils, cheer at the marvels of the virtuous, and forget the victorious tell a version conveniently veiling their own atrocities. Evilness was once the brightest star in heaven. And goodness, well, morality can so often be contentious. This time, there is the hero with the strength of a hundred men, there is the villain that can vanish his vulnerabilities in a very instant, and then there’s you. Superclumsysuperhero!RMverse AU.

PJM

Christmas Mass Every Sunday, like clockwork, as designed and ordained, you sit quietly. Pray. Christmas mass comes, tonight your congregation dresses beautifully, like ornaments placed in a row right in front of God. Your priest, stands at the head like an angel atop the tree, commanding and pious and hauntingly handsome. Red. You’re a good faithful girl. You were taught to be, punished to be. You pray for respite, for something more than the condemnation this cold and icy town bestows upon you. Sinners. The coldness permeates your bones, you’re always scared. Tainted. Terrified of sin, terrified by your thoughts for your priest. Sacrilegious. This Christmas prayers are answered by no God. Demon AU. Dark smut.

You Asked for Help, He Asked Your Name You ran away from your responsibilities, but they caught you and tried to lay claim to your body. If your life was never going to be yours anyways, you decided might as well give it away and make a deal. fairyprince!Jimin

KNJ

Your Friendly Neighborhood Superhero, RM Best friends 2 Lovers. Idiots 2 Lovers. Lovers 2 Enemies? This is a different kind of superhero story ;) Christmas Lights Out! Agust D vs RM Super Hero Christmas Special! You visit your hometown during the holidays. You and your childhood friend Joon reminisce and you learn more about your smooth tech talker business partner Yoongi. Can he win you over once and for all? Set in Super Clumsy Super Hero RM universe. Extended Scene: The Mind Reader, The Telekinetic and The Closet just silly and raunchy and ridiculous, dirty thoughts...it goes there. V is for Villain 1 / 2 / 3 - 90% What does it mean to be a villain? What does it really mean to be a vigilante? A vanquisher of evil, or a victor for the good? Stories praise the fall of devils, cheer at the marvels of the virtuous, and forget the victorious tell a version conveniently veiling their own atrocities. Evilness was once the brightest star in heaven. And goodness, well, morality can so often be contentious. This time, there is the hero with the strength of a hundred men, there is the villain that can vanish his vulnerabilities in a very instant, and then there’s you.

I Appreciate Your Apology A Christmas party has you on thin ice with your favorite dom. Daddy Joon appreciates your apology, but does he accept it? daddydom!Joon smut, PWP, filth, aka Joon edging you until you see sleighbells.

Cold Feet You don’t want to get married anymore, what does Namjoon want? 

JHS

Day Dream The days are hotter, the nights are hotter too. You sleep, restless. Tired, you sleep more, you sleep and you dream and you meet the dream walker and things somehow become even steamier. Sandman!Hoseok Dream Analysis / Alternate Ending 

Disco Winter Ball You and your friend Hoseok are best friend buddies going on a date to the annual disco winter ball. But it’s not a date date, okay? You and Hoseok just love music and you love dancing and Hoseok loves watching you dance. Wait not love, not in that way! A friendly love. Just friends. Just two friends who drink a little too much eggnog. HOAL couple holiday special

I Thought You Were Mine? Drunk arguing leads to drunk fuc–

MYG

The Woman with the Black Cat on Her Shoulder Fearful, they buried them, stomped them into the dirt. Underneath their boot, scared men were unaware the seeds of hope had planted by their own volition. From the dirt and grime, grew flowers, blooms so tall, eclipsing their hatred. You were strong and unwilling to be cut down any more. Shapeshiftercat!yoongi.

Yoongi is a Rock That’s it. That’s the plot. Yoongi is a rock. Audio Ver. by the talented @voice-over-ff

I Didn’t Mean It, I Still Love You Yoongi made a mistake, will you forgive him? Or is it too late? 

Christmas Lights Out! Agust D vs RM Super Hero Christmas Special! You visit your hometown during the holidays. You and your childhood friend Joon reminisce and you learn more about your smooth tech talker business partner Yoongi. Can he win you over once and for all? Set in Super Clumsy Super Hero RM universe.

King of Corruption [Sequel to Christmas Mass] The organ player takes his time with you, holding you and caressing your body while you sleep, until you can’t discern your dreams from your reality. A king and a sleeping beauty, his name leaves your lips like a prayer, prostated at his feet in blind reverence…the perfect position for him to corrupt and defile you. Demon AU. Dark smut.

KSJ

The Flower Bridge You couldn’t, you didn’t want to, not anymore, the pain was too much, you wanted it to end, so you visited the bridge. Standing at the highest point, the wind stung, but your problems were bigger, your pain was stronger than the whipping air and your anguish deeper than the water below. Tethered in the center, connecting the place you came from and the place you were going, you found another type of bridge and he found you. Ghost!Seokjin.

Meet Cute, Time Loop A story where Seokjin loves you before you love him before he loves you.

Ddak-ji SLAP Jungkook, Seokjin, and you decide to play a game…and then you fu-

Seokjin’s Ho Ho Ho Your boyfriend surprises you with a Christmas dinner on the beach, things get a little steamy, candy canes get sucked, peppermint liquor might be involved, there is definitely some questionable Santa Costume attire, and lots of jolly lovin’! HOAL couple holiday special.

Christmas Lights Out! Agust D vs RM Super Hero Christmas Special! Extended Scene: The Mind Reader, The Telekinetic and The Closet just silly and raunchy and ridiculous, dirty thoughts...it goes there.

Gangnam Girlfriend: Korea’s #1 Celebrity Dating Show with your Host, International Super Star, Jin Welcome to Gangnam Girlfriend! Where Korea’s top eligible singles fight for a chance at love! You're supposed to be playing the dating game right? Not sneaking off in the middle of the night with the show’s host to watch the stars and talk about all your lost love connections, cuddling under a blanket. And even if the choice is clear, Kim Seokjin can't date you, the reason you joined is because you wanted a public relationship, and Jin could neverrr. Even though he wants to finally settle down! But Hybe wouldn't let him join as a contestant so he took the next best thing instead, our story's beloved host, yet now he's regretting his decision as he watches the girl he is starting to fall for fall for someone else, oh no! Meet the Cast / Epi1 - 85%

OT7

SERIES

Bon Voyage: Into the Sea [Fantasy AU] A storm capsized your boat and looks like you were the only survivor. Somehow you made it to shore, but where? Stranded, you suddenly find out you are not alone, and now you’re stuck in the middle of a centuries old conflict between 7 monsters. Member Imagines /Ch1 / Ch2 / Ch3 / Ch4 /  Ch5 / Ch6 / Ch7 - 5% / ?

Handshakes of a Lifetime [Soulmate AU] …the meeting room is getting closer and closer, basking you and those around you in warm light, and you think about all the internet comments people write about this kind of moment, “she must have saved a country in her past life to experience this.” Playlist / Ch1 / Drabble - JJK / Ch2 / Ch3 / X-mas - JHS / Ch4 / X-mas - KSJ / Ch5 / Ch6 / Ch7 / Ch8 / Ch9 / Ch10 - 10% / ?

Caught! House of Cards [Yandere AU] You needed money. The pandemic offered little options. So you joined a website to make some quick and easy cash. Men paying to look at you, harmless fun, right? It was a decision you didn’t think too much about, you just wanted an income again. Little did you know how dangerous the members of House of Cards were. You weren’t prepared for the consequences of your actions. Watch out! Houses built with cards come tumbling down… Profiles / Ch1 / Ch2 / Ch3 / Ch4 / Xmas Drabble - KTH / Ch5 - 90% / ?

Run Run Run [Zombie Apocalypse AU Slow Burn] A zombie apocalypse breaks out and you’re stuck on a plane with none other than…BTS! Oh, you thought because you were an Army that would help you survive? Girl think again. Member Poll / Seoul Flow / Yangyang Living / Seoul Town Road / Hwarang Freestyle / Seoul Close / Samsung State of Mind - 5% / The Big Hit Break In! - TBA / ?

T H E T A K E O V E R [BTS Apocalypse / Dystopian AU Thriller] The recruits of Bangtan Academy were trained to be super soldiers, to be the strongest, fastest, most cunning fighters in the world. Now they are being put to the test! You were at the bottom of your class, but you noticed the cracks in the system first, what are you going to do? Run or try to save the world Prequel / Ch1 / Ch2 / Ch3 - 78% / ?

DRABBLES

BTS (as kisses) / BTS (as holidays) / BTS (as drinks)

BTS Cheering You Up While Studying Korean

MASTERLISTS

Naughty Girl Christmas BTS X-MAS Masterlist

Spring Fling Fantasy Stories that Bloom Masterlist

BTS Supers RM Verse Masterlist (coming soon…)

Original Masterlist

[nightingaelic]

Things that are Now Fallout Canon

(according to the Special LIVE Report from Galaxy News that preceded the Fallout TV series' teaser trailer release on December 2, 2023)

Vault 33, the focus vault of the Fallout television series, is located beneath Santa Monica, California. It's also implied to be very, very expensive to get into.

Bottle and Cappy, the mascots for Nuka-Cola and its theme park, Nuka-World, were about to embark on a seventeen-movie-long series of animated films before the bombs fell.

The sinking of the RMS Titanic happened in Fallout's alternate universe. The news announcer jokes about the world going down like the infamous ship, including the deadly lack of lifeboats.

Camels exist in this universe, too! The news announcer actually fucks this one up, because he says dromedary camels have two humps - dromedary camels have one hump, while Bactrian camels have two. Or maybe we'll get a sound bite from Todd Howard in a few months where he claims the camel breed names are swapped in Fallout, who knows.

Pets were not allowed in the commercially-advertised vaults. The news announcer regrettably informs listeners that they can't bring their cats, dogs, or even fish with them due to logistical concerns and safety hazards, but they are more than welcome to purchase Vault-Tec-branded gravestones and hold pet funerals before they move underground. Hypothetically-speaking, it wouldn't surprise me if people tried to smuggle their animals in, anyway.

Someone stole the Fallout universe's original moon landing flag from the Museum of Technology in Washington, D.C. - another headline report, with no further details. It was in the same exhibit as the Virgo II lunar lander, which stayed put for at least 200 years.

Vault Boy was named "World's Sexiest Man" in 2077 (when the report is being aired) - no word about which publication or organization bestowed this title upon an animated mascot.

Vault-Tec trademarked the thumbs-up emoji in the Fallout universe - which is very much in character for the company, but something about there being emojis in the world at all hit me wrong.

Vault-Tec instituted a "breeder search program" alongside vault placement purchases, and encouraged polyamory to get people to procreate (and buy more vault spots). I'll admit that this one seems plausible but shaky, because by this point in the report the news announcer is losing his mind while stalling for the vault door to open, and he might just be making shit up.

Nuka-Cola ran its own version of the Pizza Hut "BOOK IT!" reading program, called "ZAP IT!" Kids were required to read over 10,000 books to win rewards. If we use picture books for the math, and allow for five minutes to read each book, that's about 833 hours (34 straight days) of reading to get some soda.

Moby-Dick by Herman Melville and the ancient Greek myth of Daedalus and Icarus both exist in the Fallout universe.

Resulting Thoughts

"The ghoul" in the show is possibly named Howard - unsure if that's a first or last name. In the teaser trailer, Walton Goggins (who plays the ghoul) is shown dressed like a Hollywood cowboy on the day of the Great War, riding a horse to try to escape the nuclear bombs that hit Los Angeles with an unidentified child. Meanwhile, the Galaxy News headlines report that a box office hit called "The Man From Deadhorse" is getting a sequel, which is currently filming at California Crest Studios, and the news announcer says the film is "Howard-led." Whether the ghoul is the lead actor, we don't know, but it seems like a solid enough hint at his origins.

I'm glad that the show is going to delve more into the idea of the haves and have-nots, what with vault entrance being both selective and expensive. The most recent games in the series don't talk about this enough, in my opinion.

This isn't specific to the show adaptation, but it's becoming more noticeable to me that the Fallout series is crawling forward in terms of relating to modernity. I'm not sure how to feel about this - for example, I don't really mind if the soundtrack of Fallout 76 features the Beach Boys and other 1960s songs when it used to be strictly limited to 1930s and 40s music. On the other hand, I thought that using a news announcer that sounds more like a modern podcast host than a Transatlantic-accented journalist was an odd choice, and as I said above, I really did not like the idea that pre-war America knows what an emoji is. I'll get over it, but I'm anticipating that there will be some more artistic choices in the adaptation (and future games) that rub me and others the wrong way because they don't fit our definition of what Fallout "is." I'm not saying anything new, people have been arguing about that forever.

Overall, I'm excited. We're probably not getting a new Fallout game until 2030, so I might as well try to enjoy this. I will be keeping my bingo cards handy, though.

Anyway, I transcribed the damn report because I'm very normal. Feel free to use!

Fallout - A Special LIVE Report from Galaxy News

with occasional commentary from yours truly

[An upbeat, strings-led orchestral jingle plays, and black-and-white picture focuses on a spinning, silver globe. The globe is being circled by a vintage toy rocket. The words "GALAXY NEWS" fly in, and are quickly wiped and replaced by script declaring "Vault-Tec Presents..." The picture is circle-wiped and transitions to a high view of a vault entrance, with no visible script or markings to indicate which vault it is. The large, circular vault door is closed, and the access bridge to the door is not connected. A timer counting down from 60 minutes is overlaid in the bottom left corner, just above the Galaxy News globe logo and a signal tower graphic next to the word "LIVE." News headlines scroll along the bottom of the screen, the first of which reads "GALAXY NEWS SIGNS 10-YEAR PARTNERSHIP DEAL WITH VAULT-TEC." The headlines are separated by small lightning bolt graphics. The music continues throughout, and a male news announcer's voice cuts in.]

Good morning! Or, afternoon! Or evening, depending on where in the world you are. If you're just tuning in with us now, you're in for a treat. Welcome to the unveiling of Vault 33, one of the flagship vaults of Vault-Tec's arsenal of vaults.

[The second scrolling headline reads "VAULT-TEC VOTED AMERICAN COMPANY WITH BRIGHTEST FUTURE."]

Galaxy News is here live with an exclusive look at the next generation of apocalypse-proof, purpose-built luxury housing, sponsored by our friends at Vault-Tec. Vault-Tec: Revolutionizing safety for an uncertain future.

[The third scrolling headline reads "ROBCO INTERPLANETARY PROBE PROBES DEEPER INTO SPACE THAN ANY PROBE HAS PROBED BEFORE."]

If you're a regular viewer of our programming, we consider you an astute, engaged citizen, doing your part to stay informed on the latest news impacting this beautiful country of ours, and so it will be no surprise to you that we are on the precipice of a nuclear armageddon. But, fear not, Vault-Tec is building the ultimate shelter-in-place solution for the more doomsday-savvy customer: A veritable ark meticulously designed to weather the geopolitical storm surely headed our way any day now. And for the first time on live broadcast, the fine folks at Vault-Tec will be giving you a tour of their newest product unveiling, from the comfort of your home.

[The announcer takes a break, and the music swells. The vault remains closed, and no activity whatsoever is visible around it. It might as well be a static image. The fourth scrolling headline reads "NUKA-WORLD BREAKS ATTENDANCE RECORD FOR FOURTH STRAIGHT YEAR. GALACTIC ZONE GIVEN CREDIT FOR INCREASED NUMBERS." The initial song ends, and a new strings song with a more staccato rhythm begins. The news announcer returns.]

Welcome, once again, to Vault 33, nestled in the coastal west side of sunny Los Angeles County, and minutes from the yet-to-be-destroyed, bustling downtown promenade. Should nuclear annihilation one day come for this quiet beach-side town, you can take comfort in knowing you are safely buried deep, deep below what numerous trade publications once called "one of the best places to live." Right now, ladies and gentlemen, what you're looking at is peace of mind. Billions and billions of dollars and decades of R&D funneled into the high-grade protection engineering that only Vault-Tec can bring you.

[The fifth scrolling headline reads "WE ASKED OUR VIEWERS TO ANSWER A SIMPLE QUESTION: WHAT IS THE GREATEST NATION ON EARTH AND WHY IS IT AMERICA? HEAR THE RESULTS TONIGHT AT 10PM EST." At this point, the news announcer starts to sound less formal and more excited.]

Aren't we a bunch of lucky ducks! Vault-Tec has tapped us into their closed loop security feed to bring you a sneak peek behind a vault entrance airlock. That large, fortified steel blast door you see there is the only thing standing between you and the rads.

[The sixth scrolling headline reads "UNITED STATES AGAIN ACCUSED OF ATMOSPHERIC COUNTER-ESPIONAGE BY THE REDS."]

Very soon - very soon, I'm told - Arnold? Are we - yeah - and we're very soon, and we're very soon. Very, very soon, I'm told, that gear door will open, and Galaxy News will be on the ground to give you all a walking tour of the facilities! Including the accommodations one might expect in a state-of-the-art, modern residence thanks to a partnership with RobCo Industries and some of your shelf-stable forever favorites like BlamCo and Sugar Bombs! There's nowhere to hide from explosive good taste! Boom!

[The news announcer disappears again, and the strings conclude and are replaced with a meandering clarinet-led number. Several scrolling headlines go by: "U.S. RENEWS DEFENSE CONTRACT WITH WEST TEK, HERALDS VALUE OF POWER ARMOR IN ALL THEATERS OF WAR." "ESPIONAGE THREAT SUBDUED IN DOMESTIC URANIUM MINES." "PRESIDENT DECLARES NUCLEAR STOCKPILE 'SAFE ENOUGH.'" "BULLETIN OF THE ATOMIC SCIENCES SETS DOOMSDAY CLOCK TO HALF A NANOSECOND TO MIDNIGHT." "ATLAS OBSERVATORY CHRISTENS NEW TELESCOPE, RE-COMMITTING TO A NON-VIOLENT PURSUIT OF KNOWLEDGE." The song ends, a new one begins, and the news announcer returns. The vault still hasn't opened, and he's dropped what was left of his professional tone.]

And we are... stalled out. We're still... having technical difficulties. You know, sometimes things go bad and there's just no way you can plan. It's kind of like what's happening with the world right now, there's no way you could've been born into the world and know how you were going to end - know how the world would end. How will the world end, in fire or in ice? Well, it turns out -

[laughter]

It turns out it's gonna be fire...

[The twelfth scrolling headline reads "CHRISTMAS TOY TRENDS: RETAILERS REPORT SHORTAGE OF POWER ARMOR FIGURINES."]

Arnold! What's that? Okay. Yes.

[sound of paper pages being flipped through]

Okay. Arnold just handed me a fun fact. We're gonna do fun facts, fun facts.

[The thirteenth scrolling headline reads "NUKA-COLA QUANTUM GETS FDA APPROVAL, FOUND TO CONTAIN 'HEALTHY AMOUNT OF RADIATION."]

Fun fact about the construction of these massive vaults: They use concrete. Hm. That hardly counts as a fun fact, Arnold. Now is there an update on when the door... the door's gonna be open? Arnold? I'm sorry, is there an update on the door? Is there an update on the crane? Is it a crane problem, or a door problem? Is it a pr- is it a crane problem, or a door problem? Arnold? Arnold! Arnie!

[sigh]

Okay...

[The news announcer gives up, and a song with a lot of muted trumpet comes in to serenade more scrolling headlines. "NO ONE'S BEATING THIS DEADHORSE. 'THE MAN FROM DEADHORSE' TOPS BOX OFFICE. A SEQUEL IS ALREADY IN THE WORKS AT CALIFORNIA CREST STUDIOS." "ATLAS WEATHER EXPERIMENT BELIEVED TO BE THE CAUSE OF UNEXPECTED SNOW FLURRY IN LOS ANGELES." "DEVELOPING: REDS CONTINUES TO DENY EXISTENCE OF STEALTH SUBMARINES, US INTELLIGENCE SUGGESTS OTHERWISE." Woodwinds replace the trumpet, and the news announcer returns, pivoting to an unrehearsed sales pitch for his sponsor.]

If you have the money, please - please, guys - get a Vault-Tec vault. Get in there! Think of it as a life raft, a bit. Our country is the Titanic, and these vaults are the life rafts - right? - attached to the side of it.

[The seventeenth scrolling headline reads "NUKA-COLA MASCOTS 'BOTTLE AND CAPPY' TO APPEAR IN ANIMATED FILM FROM CALIFORNIA CREST STUDIOS. WILL BE THE FIRST IN A SEVENTEEN PICTURE DEAL BETWEEN THE COMPANIES."]

Now, were there enough life rafts on the Titanic? If you remember - no, no there weren't enough, and so many, many people died, and so, it's a nice allegory actually, because they're not going to die in the freezing ocean, which would be - actually, it's a little faster to die by fire than it is by drowning in the cold, so it is kind of an advantage to be dying now, th- rather than on the Titanic, the RMS Titanic.

[The eighteenth scrolling headline reads "SUPPLY LINES FOR RED FORCES BREAKING DOWN." Sort of like this announcer. He pivots again.]

Now - can you call a survivor of a nuclear holocaust a person, anymore? I don't know. Their brain is going to be cottage cheese, and they will be crawling... crawling on the ground, stuffing sand in their mouth, their blind eyes melted out, like the white of an egg, just dripping and dribbling out of their eye sockets.

[The nineteenth scrolling headline reads "VAULT-TEC ANNOUNCES COMPLETION OF VAULT 33 UNDER SANTA MONICA, CA."]

They raise their face towards their... god... and scream, "Nooooo! Whyyyyyy! What did it all mean?" It turns out it didn't mean much if you didn't get a spot in a Vault-Tec vault."

[The twentieth scrolling headline reads "MILITARY UNITS SENT TO QUELL UNREST IN SEVERAL STATES."]

"Now, let's talk about the luxury interiors of Vault-Tec vaults. We have camel leather. You've heard of cow leather. Probably. Camel leather is a great deal softer, isn't it? It comes from the camel, who keep their water on their backs in a hump. Sometimes two, if they're a dromedary. Now, let's talk about camel leather and why it is more supple, and why it is cooler to the touch, and we can talk about it forever but what you want is luxury, what you need is safety: Where you go is Vault-Tec. That's it.

[I feel like I need to point out that dromedary camels only have one hump, and no camels store water in their humps: It's actually just fat up there that they can live off of while traversing deserts. Regardless, the announcer is gone again. The scrolling headlines remain. "NUKA CORP SPINS OFF ATOMIC RESEARCH ARM INTO SEPARATE CORPORATE ENTITY AFTER SEC APPROV." "SUPER DUPER MART ANNOUNCES RECALL OF BLAMCO MAC & CHEESE FOR TRACE AMOUNTS OF DAIRY." "VAULT-TEC STOCKS SOAR AS US ECONOMY BECOMES FEAR-BASED." "BUREAU OF ALCOHOL, TOBACCO, FIREARMS AND LASERS TAKE DOWN NATIONWIDE WEAPONS SMUGGLING RING." Another woodwind-heavy song starts up, and so does our announcer.]

Um... Arnold?

[throat clearing]

Arnie! Can we- do- do we have a- can we start a clock? Can we - is there, like, anything we can do? I feel like people need something to hold onto, there's a lot of empty air. There's a lot of dead air, here. People need something to hold onto, people are freaking out, and I'm freaking out because I like to have - I like to bring people comfort - uh, in, in this crazy time. There's, there's only a few things you can predict -

[laughter]

In - in the world, and uh, I thought that opening the vault on time would be one of those things.

[The twenty-fifth scrolling headline reads "MILITARY SETS THREAT LEVEL OF POSSIBLE BIOLOGICAL WEAPON ATTACK FROM REDS TO HIGH."]

I was kind of counting on it as a - a thing that would bring some amount of normalcy, some amount of comfort. Something happening the way it's supposed to in a world that feels like it has been turned upside down by evil. But, unfortunately that is not the case. Here we are. Another thing we don't know. Another thing we have to grapple with.

[The twenty-sixth scrolling headline reads "TEDDY FEAR MANUFACTURER SETTLES CLASS ACTION LAWSUIT, DENIES TOY BEAR CAUSES SLEEP PARALYSIS NIGHTMARES IN CHILDREN."]

This particular vault and these technical difficulties that we're having right now have absolutely nothing to do with the product that you will buy when you buy a Vault-Tec vault. Now, Vault-Tec vault living is living the dream, and it's the only way to safety unless you're... the President of the United States, or something like that, and you have a mountain in Colorado to go under and direct the events of the world. Not many of us are that, there's only one of those... uh, and his various and sundry advisors, I'm sure they'll be fine, but you won't! You won't be fine!

[The twenty-seventh scrolling headline reads "WERE TEDDY FEAR BEARS MISUNDERSTOOD? ONE PSYCHOLOGIST THINKS SO."]

If a vault is out of your price range, there are lower-cost alternatives to purchasing a spot with Vault-Tec. They don't sound... good, if you ask me. Anti-radiation pills? Good luck with that. Not sure how anti-radiation pills will hold up against temperatures rivaling the surface of the sun, for example. But maybe that's just me!

[He's gone again. We're 15 minutes into the countdown, and the woodwinds have really started to outdo their own whimsy, at this point. Headlines continue. "TEDDY FEARS SKYROCKET IN POPULARITY AND PRICE DUE TO SCARCITY CAUSED BY RECALL." "VAULT-TEC ANNOUNCES NEWLY AVAILABLE SINGLE VAULT SPACES FOR SALE." "THIS YEAR'S FALLOUT SUIT DESIGN FEATURES ENHANCED PROTECTION, 20% MORE ZIPPERS." The whimsical woodwinds finish up and a bouncy, brassy horn piece takes over. This summons the announcer.]

When you see that vault, it's all gonna be worth it, fellas. It's all gonna be worth it when you see that vault. Now kids, you're probably wondering: Can I bring my pet doggy, or my pet kitty, into the vault? You can't. Unfortunately... it's a hazard in so many different ways. Uh... tch, uh, their hair can get caught in the ventilation system, you'll have endless problems, where do you put their waste? Where do you put... their food? So many, so many problems, so... we have specially-made Vault-Tec gravestones.

[The thirty-first scrolling headline reads "VIRGO II LUNAR LANDER NOW ON DISPLAY AT MUSEUM OF TECHNOLOGY IN WASHINGTON, D.C."]

We have specially-made Vault-Tec pet gravestones for your children to have many funerals for their pets before you go into your Vault-Tec vault. Memorialize your pets now with Vault-Tec mini pet gravestones! Dig a hole in the sand, put the pet in there, and put that gravestone - and it's got a space where you can write the pet's name - right before you go in the vault, no pets in the vault. Not even fish. No, not even fish.

[The thirty-second scrolling headline reads "FLAG FROM VIRGO II LUNAR LANDING STOLEN FROM MUSEUM OF TECHNOLOGY." The news announcer is really getting aggravated.]

What is happening? What is - Arnie! What is - what is happening? Okay - okay! Alright!

[The music and the headlines fill the space again. "NUKA-WORLD TO RAISE TICKET PRICES FOR UPCOMING SEASON, EXPECTING AN 'EXPLOSIVE' YEAR." "GWINNETT ANNOUNCES NEW PALE ALE SO PALE IT'S TRANSPARENT." "HAPPY NATIONAL SOCK HOP DAY!" "VAULT BOY NAMED WORLD'S SEXIEST MAN." The news announcer tries again, attempting to play up the complete inactivity happening onscreen.]

So much is happening here, we've got... the crane, as you can see, it's - it's about to be lowered, and I'm told - and I'm told... the weather. The inclement weather is - keep - I think the weather... there's a pressure cha- it needs to be - yes, of course. The pressure needs to be right to open the vault, or else the differential pressure between underground and overground will cause... a, uh... uh, the furniture to, uh...

[The thirty-seventh scrolling headline reads "VAULT-TEC REGISTERS TRADEMARK ON THE THUMBS UP EMOJI." This one made me physically recoil.]

L- Look... get a Vault-Tec vault. If you can't afford a whole vault for your family, that's fine. Buy time in a timeshare, one of our timeshares. And it's not the kind of timeshare you're going to regret, this is one that's not a scam, because you can look down at your intact body in a Vault-Tec vault and say, "Look at me! I'm whole!"

[The thirty-eighth scrolling headline reads "NUKA-COLA PATRIOTICALLY SALUTES SUCCESS OF NEWEST FLAVOR LAUNCH - NUKA-COLA VICTORY. EXCLUSIVE REDESIGN COMING NEXT YEAR WITH 'A TASTE AS SWEET AS FREEDOM.'"]

Stay whole in a Vault-Tec vault! Keep it together, meaning your corporeal form! Keep it together in a Vault-Tec vault! You'll be skipping around in a workout area, and... check out those barbells! Why not work those biceps while you're down here? What if there's an emergency, and somebody breaches your Vault-Tec vault door? Well, you're gonna want to be in shape to fight off that rageful beast!

[At this point the scrolling headlines loop back to the beginning.]

Now, is it a human? If you kill it, will its soul go to heaven or hell? Don't worry about it! Just get it out, because even its presence in your Vault-Tec vault could kill you and your entire family! These people are irradiated. It's not healthy, right? It's like putting your hand on a radiator. Don't do it.

[Music break. That vault still isn't opening. The song ends, and the news announcer clears his throat.]

We don't... have the exact scoop yet, ladies and gentlemen, so Arnie, why don't we put some music on while we wait for the skinny?

[noticeable pause]

I- I- I- I- don't know what song, put on anything, I'm dying up here.

[The next song opens with energetic trumpets that sound like they're charging through a movie theater snack stand. It's followed by a big band track that seems to re-energize the announcer.]

And, if you're just joining us, we're preparing to head inside the latest and greatest product offering from Vault-Tec. Vault 33, a pristine subterranean society purpose-built for America's best and brightest to wait out the nuclear fallout. There's no telling what will remain once this global conflict reaches its inevitable conclusion: That's why it's important for patriots like you to purchase a guaranteed spot in America's future. It's up to you to keep our golden society going, propagating forth until we have the ranks to repopulate the world outside.

"What if I don't have a partner or family right now?" you may be asking. "Don't give up on love so soon!" I say. Where better to meet eligible partners than in a cherry-picked community of like-minded individuals? If you find you need a bit more assistance, Vault-Tec has breeder search programs to help you find the one, or the two, or the three, four, five! Vault-Tec is a very open society, so go ahead and purchase that single vault space, and that single may become a double before you know it! And what better place to find someone to love, than safe underground?

Please stay tuned as we prepare to bring the crew, and the world at large, inside our Vault-Tec facility.

"But what if I don't have the money for a vault right now?" you may be thinking. You should never let not having the funds today stop you from reaching your dreams. You can always pay tomorrow, into perpetuity. Vault-Tec is reportedly constructing financial packages that allow for customers to continue payments on select economy vaults, in the event of total societal extinction. So don't worry, purchase away! Vault-Tec upholds traditional American values, and they believe no one should be excluded from the pursuit of life, liberty, and debt.

[Music break, wherein the song concludes and switches to something more pensive and staccato.]

A- Alright? Yes? Arnold is telling me - yes? We are moments away! Moments away - from having some kind of movement here. I'll believe that when I see it. Sorry Arnie, but your credibility with me could not be any lower at this point.

Let's talk about the amenities in these concrete miracles. Radiation King will be providing television sets, modern kitchen appliances.

[throat clearing]

The sofas will be... I'm sorry, do we know who makes the sofas? I'm sorry, do we - do we know who makes the sofas? Do we know who makes the sofas? Arnold, do we know who makes the sofas?

[Arnold does not reply. The announcer is miffed.]

What else is new. Yeah.

[Dejection turns to anger immediately.]

If you could please just give me something? If you could please just give me something to update? I'm sitting here with nothing! I'm sitting here... with nothing! This isn't my job! I'm a journalist! I report things, I don't... vamp! Is there even a - is, is there a clue? Is there, do the crane people - have the crane people chimed in? Have the door people chimed in? Is it all one person?

[Arnold presumably says some inaudible form of "I don't know." This does not please the news announcer.]

Well maybe con- maybe connect yourself to them. You should get yourself a radio. Get yourself a radio, Arnold. That's your job, to communicate with me the facts about what's going on, and it's my job to communicate to the people who are watching - we're trying to save their lives - you know, and this isn't advertising for me. This is a product I believe in!

Arnold, what do you do? What skills do you - are you somebody's son? Are you - are you somebody's kid, or something?

[Arnold can finally be heard, somewhat garbled from distance or technology: "My uncle is, uh, is the general manager of Galaxy News, your employer." The news announcer considers this.]

Your uncle is the manager of Galaxy New - mmm. Well, that explains how you got this internship. I'm sorry for everything I said, but... you can understand my frustration, here.

[The music concludes, but the announcer keeps going.]

The, uh, vault foreman is out here, and he is, uh, uh, doing hand signals. Ooh, yes, it's going to be a while, let's play some music for the people, Arnie.

[A new song starts. We're nearly 30 minutes into the countdown before the song switches over and the news announcer starts up again.]

All right folks, we have an update! They've got eyes on the gatekeeper out walking the grounds. It appears he was attempting to retrace his steps after misplacing the key and his wallet - still no word on the key itself, please stand by for more on the wallet, as this story continues to unfold.

Still on standby as we wait for the situation in the vault to resolve, but folks, there is plenty to get the American public up to speed on in the meantime. World news stories! Breaking, breaking news from the international desk. Peace negotiations between America and her adversaries crumbled in Anchorage, Alaska, this past weekend, a city recently liberated from foreign occupation, leading experts to believe nuclear war is indeed on the horizon. One more reason, America, to tune into the presentation Vault-Tec has for us today. Preparation, resilience, and smart spending are the only way our precious republic makes it through that long, dark night.

[This revelation approximates the date of the broadcast, which is happening not long after the Battle of Anchorage. The clash in Alaska officially ended on January 10, 2077: This news bulletin proves that attempted peace negotiations followed, then failed.]

Going the way of the dinosaurs has never felt this fun! If only the dinosaurs had Vault-Tec technology. Now, the dinosaurs died because... a meteor came from space, right? They had nothing to do with it. We have everything to do with our own demise. It's almost like… people are a virus that is destroying the Earth, we're a planet-killing virus. And people do say, "Oh, well, you know, well, the cockroaches... will outlive us and the the aardvarks or whatever will outlive us." Well, they won't. They're going to die too, because this is the real deal, guys. This is the end. So if you're not underground, I don't know what you're doing.

I wonder how we'll evolve. Will we develop a different kind of skin, some kind of leathery, plastic skin to fight off the nuclear fire? Who knows, but the only way to find out is to purchase a Vault-Tec vault, or a space in one of our timeshares.

[Music break again. It's a rather lively waltz.]

For those gathered around their Radiation King TV sets today, thank you for your patience. Rome wasn't built in a day!

[laughter]

Very soon you will witness… one of the greatest modern advances since the Virgo II moon landing - you won't want to miss this, the future of you and your future children depends on it.

[Exasperation sets in.]

Honestly, who wrote this copy?

[Arnold presumably raises his hand.]

You did, Arnold? Well, that's not surprising. It leaves… yes, well, it leaves a lot to be desired. They couldn't hire a professional writer? You look like you're 15 years old.

[Arnold inaudibly corrects him.]

You're 23? Yeah, well, 23-year-olds look like they're 15 now, still too young. What could you know about the - what could you possibly know about the written word, Arnold? Goddamn it. What could you - what do you know about writing and oratory? Nothing, I'll answer y- for you, nothing. The lack of professionalism - myself not included - disgusts me. The lack of professionalism disgusts me, Arnold!

Speaking of nuclear fire, you should see the muffin tray they left out for me. People want a blueberry mu- you want a muffin, okay? A muffin. Not a little squirt of dough, with a little powdered su- give me a muffin, give me a real thing, okay? Give me some snacks! You're going to give me some coffee? Good. I need a snack, to balance it. I'm not the only person in the world who needs a little bit of fat in their stomach when they eat a... big haul of caffeine.

[throat clearing]

Stand by as we wait for the situation in the vault to resolve.

[The music does some flourishes, then finishes.]

Ladies and gentlemen, it's official: We're experiencing some technical difficulties. And before we can open the vault - Vault 33, our flagship vault, full of the, uh, finest luxury items available to mankind, a- as of now - maybe we could put something on to keep people company while we figure out the technical difficulties. Sorry, these difficulties of course have nothing to do with Vault-Tec's vault tech. In- in- indeed…

Look, I need to have a whole cigarette right now. Just put on the song. Where are my smokes?

[The music starts up again while the announcer burns through a cigarette at the speed of a Corvega.]

Well, well, well! Here we are again! Ladies and gentlemen, we're dealing with a hiccup. Now, hiccups... might seem like a momentary stoppage, but this is a big hiccup. It's like God is hiccuping.

Vault-Tec is reporting that there's only one gatekeeper and one key on this vault model. The keys for these vaults are one of one, it fits like a glove, but it's - it's - these - these locks are very, very complicated.

God, it's so good to be on the other side of this. I don't think people know. People really don't know what's coming, and that's probably good. If you haven't watched… if you haven't watched the news up to this point, don't pick it up. Don't… just try and stay ignorant, uh, really don't find out what's going to happen because… it's bad, um, it's over.

[laughter]

The Earth is a slaughterhouse, and we are cattle!

[laughter]

We- we'll go back into, uh, a society resembling Bronze Age Mesopotamia. That's where we're going. It's not fun. Um... disease is… really prominent, um… we don't treat women well - let's just face it, it's - they - we don't treat them well now, but back then… oof. Rough. Rough treatment of women. You think we're racist now?

It's going to get bad. Where you want to be is underground. Vault-Tec vaults.

[A really tinny muted trumpet rises to its occasion as he disappears again for a bit.]

You know what else is great about Vault-Tec vaults? The air purification system. Let's talk about air. You need air to breathe, I need air to breathe, we need air to breathe. Vault-Tec's got it in spades! We've got oxygen candles straight from our finest nuclear submarines that you can burn, that turn nitrogen and carbon dioxide into oxygen molecules. Perfectly breathable, perfectly safe for your children, and your children's children, and your children's children's children in case we're there for three sweaty generations of sweaty living underground! In a fresh vault!

In fact, we put a family in a vault for 10 years and let them out just to see how it would go… and here they are now! "We loved it, uh… We loved it! That was great!" Uh… that's - I'm making it up! I'm making that up. I am imagining what could happen if I had more information about the vaults, but I don't have that information, so I'm making it up! Ha! Vault-Tec vaults, yes. Say yes to the tech!

[The music saves us for a bit.]

Unfortunately, we are back, the vault hasn't opened, and we have had absolutely no movement towards the vault opening, so! Hope you enjoyed that music. I know I was tapping my feet. Let's get back into it, where are we?

The US government has been quietly testing T-60 power armor suits as part of their long-standing defense contract with West Tek, following up the T-45 and T-51 efforts in the ongoing war with the People's Liberation Army.

[hisses through teeth]

How about that? How about that. The Man from Deadhorse gallops to a fast start at the box office! The Howard-led western is said to be the next smash for California Crest Studios.

[So the ghoul's name is probably Howard Something, or Something Howard. Interesting, but the announcer doesn't care and decides to throw another tantrum.]

Am I crazy or is this taking forever? I don't think I'm crazy, but I feel crazy! In fact, I might be the only person involved in this whole production who hasn't lost his mind! I'm looking at you, Arnie, I'm looking at you!

[Looking at Arnie yields nothing, again.]

"You don't know what to do, you don't know what to do." You idiot! I can't even get the word- I can't even get the information from you. Worthless!

[grunt of rage]

It's just me and Arnie here, I'm in hell, he's sitting there smiling at me, I'm in absolute hell!

Do you have a spot, Arnie? Do you have a spot in a vault? Oh! You do! What vault is that?

[long pause]

Oh, that's the one I'm in. Oh. Dear God.

[deep breath]

I guess we should get to know each other.

Ladies and gentlemen, we don't even know what's wrong here… but I can assure you that what isn't wrong is Vault-Tec technology, this has nothing to do with Vault-Tec's patented lock technology and everything to do with stupid people and human error. If you're this inefficient at work, what is home li- do - how do you wipe yourself?

[Uncalled-for, news announcer man.]

Ladies and gentlemen, please enjoy this music while we figure out what's going on.

[Musical break number who knows. Just over 11 minutes remain on the countdown.]

In other sponsored news, Nuka-Cola is celebrating the success of one of their newest flavor launches, Nuka-Cola Victory, with an exclusive redesign release later next year. Students that read over 10,000 books can be part of the ZAP IT! Program, rewarding literacy with sugar!

[deep breath]

I don't like Nuka-Cola. Personally... I don't like Nuka-Cola. Too sweet. I don't drink it. But it's popular, I have stocks in it, I invest - I invest in it. I don't drink it. It's the way the world is. Just because it's popular, doesn't mean it's good, just because it's good, doesn't mean it's popular. A can of Nuka-Cola, what is that, it's energy slowed down, right? It's the energy of the universe slowed down, right? What are we, what am I? We are energy slowed down into the form of a human being. All that's about to stop.

[laughter]

All that's about to stop! All that's about to go away! Maybe there's life on other planets. Maybe there's not. Are they going to come save us, no! If I were on another planet, and I came here, I would have an endless belly laugh at our folly, I mean, the folly of man! It's funny, there's so much written about the "folly of man." I mean, read Moby-Dick. Read… uh… what di- what happened with the - the wax wings, the wax wing guy? Wax wing man, Mr. Wax Wings, Daedalus. What's his name?

[Arnold hazards a guess we can hear: "Shakespeare?"]

Arnold, Shakespeare? Arnold, Arnold, good god… Shakespeare? Where did you go - you went to one of these hippie schools...

[Arnold tries again: "I think it was Icarus?" The announcer is ecstatic.]

Icarus! Icarus. Wow! You are good for something. Wow, Arnie!

Now, Icarus, he was close to the sun. In a Vault-Tec vault, you'll be as far from it as possible. You will be up to 50 feet underground, in a Vault-Tec vault, safe and sound in the knowledge that the wax on your wings will not be anywhere close to anything that will make it melt, except our new Vault-Tec oven!

[The horns come in again.]

Where are you f- what's your family situation? Do you have kids or…

[Arnold probably shakes his head.]

No kids? Good for you.

[laughter]

Are you single?

[Arnold: "Yeah."]

Ahh, yeah. I wouldn't recommend going into a vault single. You might want to lock someone down and take you in there - if only to help you fight - and, uh, survive, it's good to have a partner. Yeah… oof!

Anyway, glad I'm safe and secure in my vault! Um… I'm in the tax bracket that kind of... automatically gets a vault, so, sorry everybody. Uh… I'll be, uh, doing this thing called surviving, while you are all burning.

[deep breath]

What's the point of any of this? What's the point of any of this? Nobody - nobody listening to this can afford one of these things. Everybody listening to this is about to turn into an idea!

[laughter]

Instead of a being! But, here we are! Let's whoop it up! Let's whoop it up! It's a big parade… for the end of mankind! It's a big parade! Here's the final celebration, Arnie! Here we are!

Let's stake our claim in a dying planet! Let's plant our flag in a dead rock, and see how we feel. Let's see how we feel after the flag is planted, Arnie.

[a deep sigh]

I don't know how much longer I can do this, man.

[another deep breath]

My voice hurts, I'm thirsty, we're out of water, the muffins they laid out at the top of the day are dry and old, I feel dry and I feel old.

I give up! I give up.

[chuckles]

What's the point of this? I mean, what's the point of anything? I'm... I'm broken.

[Emotion creeps in.]

I'm broken. I'm changed. I am broken and I have changed. I…

[one more deep breath]

Thanks to you, Arnie. Thanks to you, man. Thanks, you're the best, yeah, thanks to you, pal. Thanks to you, buddy boy. You are just awful. You disgust me. Yeah, I'm just - I'm sorry. I'm - I'm just… I'm fried, man. I'm - I'm fried, pal. I'm fried. Dead. Gravestone, dead. Oh yeah, that's, okay.

Oh, god. Where are we in the process of the door opening?

[Arnold: "Yeah, it's over."]

What?

[A record scratch stops the music. Two minutes remain on the countdown.]

What's that? Oh!

[The announcer clears his throat, and the music changes to a triumphant fanfare.]

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm getting word. Ladies and gentlemen... I've gotten word that we are star- we are starting, ladies and gentlemen. It's happening! Here we are! Here we are, we got it, we got it, and now…

N- and now, this afternoon is unlike any other afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. It was the morning, now it's the afternoon - here we go! The crane is loweri- Here we go!

[relieved laughter]

Okay! Really close to the time where I can go, and get out of here! The crane is lowering, it is happening, the tumblers are tumbling! The crane is lowering, the tumblers are tumbling, we are… go! We're going! It's opening! It's opening!

[The static image of the vault has not changed in the slightest bit.]

You try doing this! You try doing this, Arnie! You try filling the time! Next time we'll switch places, Arnie, and you can try it! Oh boy, oh boy, here we go, thank god we're doing it and it's happening. I see motion, I see- I see Vault-Tec… I am convinced! Guys, this is great, it's been great, Arnie? It's been great. Arnie, it's been great. You know, I hope we are in the same vault. I'd like to spend the rest of my life with you, Arnie.

[slightly unhinged laughter]

As long as this happens right now, I am fine with spending the rest of my life with you! As long as the vault opens right now. The fact that nuclear fire could fall from the sky at any moment has made this broadcast that much more important. Thank you, thank you so much for joining us!

[irenelichtensteinblog]

Stefano Di Marco, Santa Maria di Galeria, RM, Italia

[alwaysbethewest]

Kingsman 2 fic: Stay Close to Me

Happy @pedrostories Secret Santa day, y'all 💃 I was thrilled when I received my assignment and saw that I'd be writing for my sweet friend @iamskyereads 😁 Skye, I hope you have a merry Christmas and I hope this little story helps make it bright. (Okay a quick note: generally speaking I don't believe in apologizing for your writing, but I do feel like a small apology is merited here. Halfway through writing this fic I started to panic because I felt like I wasn't really meeting the brief of your prompt 😬 I started wondering if I should start over from scratch but I was already too far into it. I accidentally wrote you... a case fic???? With a smidgen of romance sprinkled in. I'm sorry! Despite my stress over that realization I did have a lot of fun writing this and I hope you will enjoy it anyway!)

Title: Stay Close to Me Pairing: Agent Whiskey (Jack Daniels)/f!Reader Rating: Teen Word Count: 5.3k Content/warnings: Fake/undercover marriage! Statesman casefic! A little romance, kissing, coarse language, very mild peril and hurt/comfort, and a splash of alcohol. Reader is a junior agent and has some muscle but otherwise no physical/age descriptions. As with any good Kingsman fic, my first step was to disregard half of canon, so this is either pre-movie or an AU. Unbetaed but thanks as ever to @fleetwoodmactshirt and @mourningbirds1 for their hand-holding ❤️ Please let me know if you spot any typos/mistakes.

The Statesman offices are housed in a sleek highrise in Midtown, a 40-minute commute from your tiny apartment. To anyone who asks, you work in the marketing department, and you’ve learned enough by now to drone on about synergistic strategies for diversifying market shares to bore anyone listening, but to those in the know, behind passcode-guarded doors, you’re Agent Violette, junior analyst for the private intelligence agency hidden behind the national whiskey brand.

For a secret spy job, your work is actually fairly routine. Most of your time is spent doing research and compiling intel for agents working out in the field. Occasionally your boss sends you into the field yourself—little baby excursions to get your feet wet—and you won’t pretend you haven’t enjoyed the thrill. But your desk job is comfortable, and satisfying, and you’ve got no complaints.

It’s Wednesday, and the only sign something out of the ordinary may be taking place is the note you find on your desk when you clock in. It takes only a little of your codebreaking expertise to interpret:

9:15 AM—mtg w/ Agt. C rm 806

Room 806 is a teleconference room furnished with a small table and a handful of chairs. One seat is occupied when you get there.

Agent Whiskey raises an eyebrow at you from under his cowboy hat. The accessory is so out of place in the urban streets of New York City that when you’d first met him you’d wondered if it was an affectation—a marketing ploy to signal the authenticity of the Kentucky bourbon your company sells on the side. But while you haven’t worked closely with him, you’d quickly learned it seems he’s just… like that.

He slides a folder towards you and you accept it as you take a seat and don your glasses.

“Any idea what this is about?” he asks.

You shake your head. Just as you open your mouth to speak, the comms switch on and Agent Champagne appears across the table before you, via the technological wonder that is your projection spectacles. More high-tech and more secure than Zoom, they’re one of the many things that sets Statesman apart from lesser spy agencies.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Whiskey straighten up slightly in his chair.

“Jack!” Agent Champagne greets him. “How was Munich?”

“All good, sir,” he drawls. “You’ll have the full report this afternoon.”

“Very good,” the older man rumbles. He turns his attention to you. “And Agent, uh—” His eyes shift down to the notes on his desk. “Agent Violette. Good to have you on board.”

You’ve worked at Statesman for three years, but you’re still too low on the org chart to have landed on the director’s radar before this. He says your code name like vie-oh-let instead of the French pronunciation you prefer, but there’s an affability to him that makes it go over easier.

“Thank you, sir.”

“So, California,” he says, diving into the brief. Whiskey opens his file folder and you follow suit. The top page features a short itinerary and a character profile that you quickly learn is a new undercover alias. Violet Davenport. You like the name. She sounds high society. Glancing over to Whiskey’s file, you spot his alias and your brows raise involuntarily.

Johnny Davenport.

Hm.

“Vineyard owner out there is concerned about a potential theft. He’s received some threats and needs a couple of bodies on the ground to sniff out the trouble,” Agent Champagne states.

“Theft of what, exactly?” Agent Whiskey asks.

“Wine. Money. The usual. He’s got his personal wine collection stored on the premises. You know the business—some of those bottles are worth a pretty penny. Mr. Peterson—that’s the client—says he has a list of suspects for you to look at.” Champ waves a hand, looking vaguely unimpressed. “Obviously you’ll have to use your own judgment on whether any of his theories check out.”

“Sir, I don’t understand why I’m being sent on such a simple assignment,” Whiskey says. “No disrespect,” he adds belatedly, glancing at you. You give him your politest go-along-to-get-along smile.

Champ looks like he’s torn between amusement or annoyance at Agent Whiskey’s attitude.

“Same reason for anything, Jack. Politics. This client has close connections in the state government over there. If we can solve this simple problem for him, it may just lead to more prestigious cases. Ones you’ll feel are worthy of your valuable time.”

Jack should look chastened, but he doesn’t. He does stop arguing, though.

“I need a senior agent on the case. And Violet’s supervisor assures me she’s got the research and fieldwork skills to step up on this one. Your cover is a married couple on an anniversary trip, so I’m basically sending you on a paid vacation, here. There’s more information in the files you’ve got.”

Whiskey flips through the pages half-heartedly and gives a curt nod.

“Well!” Agent Champagne slaps his hands on the table decisively. “I now pronounce you husband and wife. Mazel tov!” With that he ends the transmission.

And that’s how you find yourself at the airport Friday morning with a diamond ring on your left hand and a disgruntled cowboy by your side.

The flight lands in San Francisco without incident, and Jack shifts into doting husband mode as you head to pick up the rental car the agency has reserved. He reaches for your suitcase to load it into the trunk.

“Let me get that for you, sweetheart.”

You give him a saccharine-sweet smile. “I’ve got it, hon.”

You lift the heavy bag with ease and watch his mouth purse for a second before he smiles back.

“I guess my baby’s stronger than she looks.”

The bored-looking attendant sees you off and Jack has you punch in the GPS destination while he eases into the busy freeway traffic. He’s a confident, slightly impatient driver, but you see him relax once you’re over the bridge and sailing smoothly north on Interstate 80.

“So what’s our game plan?” he asks as highway signs for Napa begin to appear, and you reach for your notebook and flip it open.

There’s only one bed.

You probably should have done the math on this as soon as Agent Champagne declared you a married couple, but in the whirlwind of arranging to leave town and the anxiety of stepping into your biggest field operation to date, it hadn’t occurred to you to worry about the precise nature of your accommodations.

Jack sets his bags down and flops onto the bed, letting the soles of his cowboy boots dangle off the end. It’s an exaggerated display of exhaustion, but you’re tired too after a seven-hour flight and another two hours in the car. His lanky body takes up the whole length of the bed and you try not to let your eyes linger as you contemplate the sleeping arrangements.

He picks up on your hesitation.

“This is where I’m supposed to do the gentlemanly thing and let you have the bed all to yourself, huh? Sorry, sister, not gonna happen.” His tone softens. “But I promise I don’t bite. There’s no reason we can’t share.”

The only couch in the room is a small, overstuffed loveseat that you can tell at a glance neither of you would enjoy reclining on for long. So you do the mature thing and agree to sleep with him.

Not like that.

Bill Peterson, the agency’s client, is one of those people who claim to be easygoing while in reality they exude nonstop nervous energy.

“I know exactly who it is,” he tells you in a hushed voice. You and Jack are in his office, under the guise of a private tour of the winery. Peterson has been going over what you already know from the file: that he has a high-value collection of wine held on the estate, as well as a hard drive storing what he’ll only describe as “sensitive” material; that he’s received several vague threats recently; and that with the hustle and bustle of harvest season upon them, he’s concerned his regular security won’t be sufficient to stop the would-be thieves.

“Oh?” you say. “Well, that will be very helpful, Mr. Peterson.”

“Okay,” he amends. “Maybe not exactly, but I can give you a list. Of suspects.”

“We’ve seen the list,” Jack tells him. “But what is it that makes you suspect these folks in particular?”

“They’re mostly other winery owners,” Peterson says. “Everyone on that list was present at a party I attended a few months ago where I—let slip some details about my collection. It was only after that the letters started.”

You and Jack exchange a glance. You’re both wondering if “let slip” isn’t code for “bragged loudly.”

“Is there a reason you haven’t gone to the police?” you ask. His eyes narrow.

“I value discretion,” he says tightly. “Anyway—I’m not sure they’d consider the threats actionable.”

“Can we see them?” Jack asks.

“Of course.” He retrieves a small stack from his desk drawer. You and Whiskey put your heads together to pore over them.

They’re all written by one person, in slanted, blocky handwriting.

YOU WILL PAY.

YOU WILL LOSE EVERYTHING.

YOUR EMPIRE WILL CRUMBLE.

WE WILL CRUSH YOU.

“Is there another one?” you check. “There are five envelopes but only four notes.”

Peterson hesitates, then shrugs and shakes his head. He’s lying, but you don’t push it.

“There is one other thing,” he says. “I keep seeing this blue truck—but it’s like he doesn’t want to be spotted. I see it slow down like he’s scoping out the place, but then he speeds off as soon as he sees I’ve noticed. I tried to get the license plate but it was covered in mud.” He scoffs. “We haven’t had any rain in months.”

Jack has him describe the vehicle and where he’s seen it, while you take notes.

“Alright, Mr. Peterson. We’ll be in touch if we have any other questions.”

“Thank you. Oh—here.” He hands you a pair of vouchers for a free wine tasting. “They come with the tour. One thing you should know about Napa—you’ll only really blend in if you’ve got a glass of wine in your hand.”

Jack’s code name is Whiskey for a reason. He’s a spirits man through and through and he doesn’t give the tasting room a second look, ushering you out to get back to your room to regroup. Admittedly, it’s only 10 AM, but you would have enjoyed a few sips of merlot. You’re craning your neck a little to look at the wine list posted by the door—just out of curiosity—when he startles you by taking your hand in his. You look at him. He’s staring ahead, holding your hand like it’s nothing as you walk side by side. Finally, your brain catches up and your nine credits of college acting classes kick in and you plaster a loving smile onto your face, leaning closer.

In the privacy of your little rented cottage, you pull out your notes again to review.

“Peterson is lying about something,” you start. Jack nods distractedly.

“Yeah—listen, before we get into that, I need to ask you. You jumped when I held your hand back there,” he observes.

You feel your face heat with embarrassment. He’s calling you out on your inexperience, the rookie agent who can’t even play-act for a simple assignment. You can do it, you know. Being undercover in the field is just still new to you. He could help you instead of being critical.

“Sorry—”

“It’s my opinion,” he says, with a slight frown, “that a man who doesn’t treat his wife a certain way is no man at all.”

You’re lost, suddenly. “Sorry?”

“What I’m askin’ is, do I have your permission to touch you like you’re my wife when other people are around?”

Oh.

Something about the way he’s worded it makes your stomach do a little flip.

“Oh. Yes. Touch me like…?” You swallow. “Like how, exactly?”

He gives you a steady look.

“Intimately.”

That’s fine. You’re fine with that.

“Right. That’s—” you nod, maybe a little too emphatically. “That’s okay.”

You look down, fingering the pages of your notebook again, trying to refocus on the more analytical side of the job, when another thought occurs to you.

“Are you going to kiss me?” you blurt.

“Shit, Violet, that’s part and parcel of it.”

“It’s Violette,” you tell him with a frown.

“Sorry.”

“Do you even know my real name?”

“Of course I do,” he says. You don’t push it but you also don’t know whether to believe him. He’s shown little interest in working with you this entire week.

Jack takes a step towards you.

“I’m going to kiss you now,” he says. “So you don’t jump like a rabbit when I do it in public.”

You take a breath. Suck your bottom lip between your teeth involuntarily.

“Okay,” you tell him.

Your eyes fall shut as he leans in. You feel his fingers steadying your chin, tilting your face to meet his, and then his lips touching your mouth, light, tentative—teasing, your mind prompts, and the thought makes you feel flushed again. When you don’t shy away he presses closer and you’re not sure which of you is to blame when your lips part and his tongue brushes yours.

You were expecting it, so you don’t jump, but you feel a little trembly when he pulls away. He doesn’t step back right away—instead, his lips hover over your skin, mustache coarse against your soft cheek, as he tucks his mouth by your ear and quietly, intimately, says your name.

“So you think Peterson is lying,” he says, picking up the thread from before.

“Um,” you say, forcing your brain to switch back to work mode. Your whole body feels warm. “Yes. Don’t you think he seemed shady?”

Jack shrugs. “Call me jaded, I think most people are shady. But I agree with you. He lied about the missing letter. I fuckin’ hate when clients do that. What do you think about the blue truck he saw?”

“I think that could be something.”

You open your laptop and with a few keystrokes you’ve used a Statesman backdoor into the DMV system, where you enter the make, model, and color of the vehicle Peterson had described. There are no matching hits within Napa County, so you expand the search. It’s an unpopular color, so there are only a few dozen matches in the state. None of the owners’ names are on the list of suspects you’ve been given.

“He said he hasn’t seen it around town, only driving by his property. And we don’t know who owns it. So how do we find the car?” you wonder.

Jack is silent for a minute. You watch as a slow smile spreads across his face.

“I have an idea.”

This case originated at Statesman’s Kentucky headquarters, so Agent Ginger Ale is your tech liaison. It’s clear from their dynamic that she and Agent Whiskey have worked together before. Having her voice in your ear is a source of comfort as you carry out Jack’s great idea—which you’re not 100% sure you’re on board with.

“Don’t you need some kind of license to operate this?” you ask tentatively.

“Technically, on paper, he has one,” Ginger offers. “Well, Johnny Davenport does, anyway. As of twenty minutes ago.”

“It’s a balloon and a basket, how complicated could it be,” Jack grouses. This doesn’t exactly raise your confidence.

“Just don’t crash this one, Jack,” she pleads.

“This one?!”

He shakes his head. “You have one helicopter fail on you and they never let you live it down. Don’t listen to Ginger.”

To his credit, Jack pilots the hot air balloon much more smoothly than you’d expected, and after some time you feel yourself relaxing and enjoying the view. It’s early October and the landscape is a mix of green and brown from the last of the summer heat. Tidy rows of grape vines are bordered by houses and larger wineries, copses of trees, and fields dotted with grazing cows. Tiny workers move methodically among the vines, busy harvesting fruit to be pressed and fermented. Through it all, highways and winding roads run alongside the properties, and this is where you refocus your attention.

Ginger has programmed your binoculars to register any vehicles matching the description of the blue truck you’re seeking. You train the lenses on the backroads and driveways, looking for private hiding places it could be stashed.

The whole endeavor feels like a long shot, and you’re just on the verge of suggesting you give up and head back to base when the binocs let out a high-pitched beep of recognition, zooming in on your target.

“Holy shit,” you whisper. “I can’t believe this worked.”

“I told you it would,” Jack says, looking smug. “What is that place?”

Ginger has looked up the coordinates before you have a chance to do it yourself.

“It’s a winery… Double Loop Vineyards. Do you guys know that name?”

You recognize it immediately. The owner is one of the names on Bill Peterson’s list of suspects.

You and Jack exchange a look.

“Guess we’re goin’ wine tasting at Double Loop,” he says, and he turns to start your descent.

The tasting room at Double Loop Vineyards is a large, tastefully decorated space that looks like it was converted from an old barn. It’s all dark wood and ceiling beams, and a bar runs along the back and right side walls. When you and Jack step inside, you’re greeted by a tall young woman with a pixie haircut and striking cheekbones. She’s wearing a name tag that reads Eva.

You settle in front of her at the bar and she pulls out a pair of glasses and pours a splash of white into each to get you started. You take a sip and peruse the small menu on the bartop.

“She’ll have the red flight,” Jack says, “And I’ll just have a glass. Can you recommend me something… full-bodied?”

As he says it he palms your hip suggestively, pulling you to him a little closer. You laugh, mortified but amused despite yourself, and he shoots you a wink.

Eva takes it in stride. “I can offer you a cabernet sauvignon that’s got legs for days.”

“That’ll do me just fine, thank you.”

You’re the only visitors in the tasting room for the moment so you have her undivided attention. She’s skilled at making small talk to keep you charmed and at ease; eventually she asks something more personal.

“So I’m planning to propose to my girlfriend soon,” she tells you. “And I’m trying to figure out how to do it. I’m like crowdsourcing ideas. You two are such a cute couple—can I ask how you got engaged?”

You and Jack exchange a glance and you give him a sweet smile. “You tell it, honey.”

“Well,” he says, keeping his eyes on you for a long moment before he finally looks away to face Eva, “I knew I wanted to marry her, and I had this whole plan in mind. I wanted something special for my Violet so I was going to take her on a trip—my buddy has this little cabin on the most beautiful lake you’ve ever seen—and make her favorite dinner, and sit down with a glass of something nice. And then I was going to present her with this beautiful piece of hand-carved wood that spelled out, Will. You. Marry. Me.”

He pauses to take a sip of his cab while Eva says, “Aww,” and looks at you like, what a sweet partner you have.

“Now the thing is,” he continues, warming up to the story, “as Violet can tell you herself, I have never carved a single thing in my life. And somehow, like a dumbass, I was convinced I could make this plaque and do it perfectly. But it looked just awful. And it was taking me so long trying to get it right I could tell she was starting to wonder if I was stringing her along.”

You shake your head in protest and he laughs. “You were! You’d look at me like, why has this fool not married me yet.”

Eva laughs, too. “So what happened?”

Jack lets out an aggrieved sigh. “What happened was, I caught the flu. Just the most dog-sick, pathetic man, all sweaty with fever and miserable to boot. And Violet never hesitated, she bundled me up and cooked me soup and tolerated my whining and she’d read me to sleep when my eyes couldn’t even focus on the TV. And somewhere in the middle of all that, I thought, I need to hold on to this woman forever, and I asked her right then and there.”

His voice cracks a little on the last sentence and you’re shocked to realize your own eyes are damp with tears. You’re not sure which part, or how much, but something in that story sounded true and it’s left you with a strange sense of heartache. You lift his hand to your mouth and press a kiss across his knuckles, watching his face soften.

“Okay,” Eva says. “So I guess I’ll add ‘get the flu’ to my list of ideas.”

“I don’t recommend it,” Jack tells her, “but I don’t not recommend it.”

As you finish your flight and Eva rings up a couple of bottles you’ve chosen to purchase—you’re not sure if these classify as company expenses, but you enjoyed them enough you’ll pay out of pocket if you must—she asks where else in the wine country you’ve been to so far.

“We spent some time at the winery right next to the place we’re staying—actually, we got to meet the owner there, what was his name, baby?”

You keep your tone casual, but you watch her face as you reply. “Bill Peterson, I think it was?”

Eva’s expression falters, just for a moment, before she recovers and plasters on a polite smile. “They’ve got a great pinot noir over there.”

“Not as good as these,” you tell her, just to see her smile turn genuine.

A tour group walks in just then so you take your leave and step outside into the late afternoon sunshine. When Jack takes your hand this time you let him, and you don’t mind it.

The blue truck is parked out back. You walk along the side of the building, just a pair of happy tourists slightly buzzed on red wine out to take in the view, until you get close enough to make note of the license plate. Back in your own car, you run a search on it and identify the owner: a young man named Lucas Trent. The address on the registration is in Paso Robles, a town 250 miles south of here, but you do some digging and find he’s a vineyard worker at Double Loop.

“So what’s the connection to Peterson?” Jack wonders.

“Look at this.” You point at the screen and he squints. “He’s only been at Double Loop for six months. Before that—”

“He worked for Peterson,” Jack finishes. “So he’s mad about getting fired and wants to get back at his old boss.”

“Maybe,” you say, frowning. “We don’t really know yet. But it’s a theory.”

“It’s a good theory,” he insists.

The two of you sit in silence for a few moments, mulling it over.

“Tell me this, rookie,” he says. “You ever been on a stakeout?”

On your first ever stakeout that evening, you quickly learn a few things:

Stakeouts are cold. Stakeouts are boring. And rental cars are not designed to accommodate them.

You shift uncomfortably for the fifth time in twenty minutes.

“How do we even know he’ll show up tonight?” you ask. In the quiet of the night you keep your voice hushed.

“Call it intuition,” Jack says. You can tell he hates sitting still this long, too, but he’s clearly built up a tolerance for it over the years, because he’s not wriggling around nearly as much as you.

“Can I ask you something?”

He grunts an assent.

“That story about how you proposed—how did you come up with that?”

He pauses.

“I just—made it up,” he says.

“I thought it seemed…” you start. He gives you a sidelong glance. “Never mind. You’re a good improviser.”

After a minute, he says, “I was engaged once. A long time ago.”

“Oh.” You bite your cheek, holding back your questions.

“She died,” he adds. Your heart drops.

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Of course,” you say, helplessly.

Never in your life have you been more grateful to see a criminal approaching than when you see the familiar shape of Lucas Trent’s blue truck appear down the road.

“Ha,” Jack says, looking a little less glum. “What’d I tell you. Intuition never fails me.”

You take deep, silent breaths, trying to control your fast-beating heart as you creep behind Jack to follow Lucas inside the building. He’s got a key to Peterson’s winery; he must have stolen it before he left the job, you think. He heads down the hall, past Peterson’s office, and disappears behind a door.

Jack motions for you to wait a moment, listening intently outside the door. You hear nothing but the quiet thump of Lucas’s footsteps, growing fainter until there’s only silence, and finally Jack eases open the door. You’re faced with a short flight of stairs heading down into a cellar. The two of you tiptoe down the stairs.

You nearly bump into Jack at the bottom when he stops dead in his tracks, still hidden in the shadows. Peering around him, you see that Lucas isn’t alone in the room. Bill Peterson is here, too, standing next to a small wooden desk.

“What the fuck do you want?” Bill demands. Lucas stares at him sullenly. “You came here to steal from me, didn’t you? You didn’t think I’d be down here.”

“I just want what’s mine,” the young man growls. “You’re the thief, not me.”

Lucas steps further into the room, toward the back wall. The space is filled with racks of carefully preserved wine bottles—Peterson’s precious collection, you register—and a pile of empty wooden barrels, stacked two high.

“Those bottles are insured,” Peterson calls after him. “You’ll get caught if you try to sell them.”

Lucas says nothing, just continues walking until he reaches the wall. At the back of the cellar, he pushes aside a tapestry to reveal a combination safe embedded in the wall. He glances over his shoulder with a smirk, and punches in the code.

“How the fuck do you know that number?” Peterson roars, finally scared. He rushes past the racks of wine, suddenly worthless compared to whatever is on the flash drive Lucas has just retrieved from the safe. When they start to tussle over it, Jack finally steps in.

“Hey!” he yells, striding into the light. The men look over, startled, and then Peterson looks relieved. He lets go of Lucas, seemingly confident that his hired security will take care of the situation, and retreats to stand next to Jack.

“Get that back from him,” he tells him. Jack gives him a long, unimpressed look, and then turns his focus on Lucas, who’s starting to look slightly panicky now that he’s outnumbered.

“Listen, son. This will all go a lot easier if you just put that back where you found it and walk out of here with me.”

“You don’t understand,” Lucas protests. “He’s stealing from everyone. This is the proof.”

Peterson shifts on his feet, looking guilty. “Bullshit,” he says. “You resent me for being the boss, but I’ve worked for every penny I’ve got.”

Lucas lets out a humorless, disbelieving laugh. “Yeah, you work real hard. You must break a sweat making copies of your accounts so you can lie about the numbers. I bet you have blisters on your hands from shortchanging your workers.”

Jack makes a mistake here—he takes his eyes off the suspect to look at Mr. Peterson in a new light, trying to gauge which of them is telling the truth. And in that split second, to your horror, Lucas hurtles forward and shoves the stacked wine barrels, hard, knocking both Jack and Peterson onto the ground.

You make a mistake, too, and he gets on your case about it afterwards. You let Lucas slip past you in your rush to reach Jack’s side. He looks dazed and angry and his legs are trapped under the hundred-pound barrel. Gathering your strength, you lift it off of him and set it upright, then fall to your knees to check him over.

“Jack! Are you alright?” You feel carefully along his legs, then gently at the back of his head, running your fingers over his scalp to check for bumps or bleeding.

“I’m okay,” he mutters. “I didn’t hit my head.” But he winces as you help him up, and he’s moving a little gingerly when he takes a step. “Might’ve tweaked my ankle,” he admits.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Peterson yells. “You let that little shit get away with my property.”

“Let me ask you this, Mr. Peterson,” Jack growls. “Was it true what he said, about the double accounts?”

“I don’t see how that matters,” he insists angrily. “I hired you to do a job, and I expected a lot better.”

“I’ll tell you why it matters,” Jack tells him. “I don’t work for people who lie to me. Consider the contract dissolved. You can get your ‘property’ back on your own.”

“Actually, you got lucky, Mr. Peterson,” you call back over your shoulder as you help Jack walk over to the stairs. “If we had gotten our hands on that drive, we would have been obligated to turn it over to the IRS. Statesman has connections in the government, too, you know.”

And with that, you leave him sputtering and pale, alone with his precious wine.

It’s 3 AM when you get back to the room. Jack’s ankle isn’t broken, just twisted. You’d made him wait in the car while you stopped at a 24-hour convenience store to get ice on the way, so now you get him tucked into bed with his foot elevated and a baggie of ice draped over his ankle. He’s clearly still peeved over how things went down with Peterson, but he also looks amused watching you play nursemaid for him.

“You know, I’ve been hurt a hell of a lot worse than this before,” he tells you. “I can take care of myself.”

You give him an unimpressed look. “Getting badly injured isn’t the brag you think it is,” you counter. “And… you shouldn’t have to take care of it alone. That’s what I’m here for. I know you think I’m just a rookie, but—for this job, we’re partners, right?”

He’s silent for a beat, but then he nods.

Jack is still awake and waiting for you when you return from the bathroom in your pajamas. As you climb into your side of the bed, he says, “I don’t think you’re just a rookie. You did a good job on this case.”

The room is dark but there’s moonlight streaming in through the window, casting a beam of light across his face on the pillow. He’s looking at you. You look back.

“Thank you,” you tell him finally.

“Thanks for the ice,” he returns. He lets out a sigh as his eyes drift shut, and as you follow suit you feel his hand reach out and intertwine with yours.

“G’night, Violet,” he murmurs.

“Goodnight, Johnny.”

He laughs, and you grin in the dark, and you hold on tight.

[kanmom51]

13 June 2023 - BTS 10 year anniversary

I thought I'd wait a little for the day to pass and put together all their messages to us. So we got most of them, and of course, still waiting on our Jungkookie, whom I know will not forget army, that he loves so so much, and has something in stall for us as well.

But, because he's taking his time, I guess I'll post now, and when he comes to us I'll add his message as well.

The members messages to us:

Jimin

IG

Posted 13.6.2023 at 12:10 am KST

13-13-13

Yes, I know that JM added #JK because he couldn't tag him, but Tae still got JK's name in without hashtagging him right there by his side, in his rightful place indeed (by JM's side guys, you get my drift).

j.m #jk

#bts

#army

That is the order of things as they should be.

Weverse:

Translated @btsinthemoment

JM Samsung:

RM:

IG:

Weverse:

Translated @btsinthemoment

Cute how JM and RM commented on each other's IG posts.

Tae IG story:

So, Tae posted several clips and photos.

We have the guys together, we have some JM delight, we have some Jikookery too.

First 4 clips translated:

JM starting to sing Santa Clause is coming to town and JK starting to dance to it.

Next 4 clips translated:

Here we got us some Jiminie and Jikookie fun:

jimin jumping, thumbs up y'all.

Tae calling JK to pay attention to JM's antics and JK's laughter.

The fact that I've seen JM solo accounts and Vmin accounts cut out Tae calling JK to look at JM says it all, lol.

Next 3 clips tranlsated:

Another 4 clips translated:

Man was busy. He did put quite an effort, gotta give him that.

Last clip translated:

And this too:

See how you can add JK without having to place him hashtagged right by your own name?

Choices my friends. It's all about choices.

This moment:

cr./@everJJKPJM

This day:

Jikook all matchy matchy at the Niagara falls?

Suga:

Jin:

Weverse:

Translated by @btsinthemoment

IG:

Jhope:

Weverse membership message to fans:

Seoul in Purple:

Take two live performance:

Will update of course...

[sharkl3q]

6:20

[curio-queries]

Run BTS: 032 | Take Care of Santa

Original Air Date: 23 DEC 2017 Episode Length: 28:42 Total Parts: 1 YouTube English Subtitles: Yes Title Song: Blood Sweat & Tears

Synopsis: Christmas-themed scavenger hunt. The guys have pig ballons tied to them that the Thief (surprise reveal) is trying to cut.

Production: It seems there was more to the game than we actually are told/see. Something with the exchange coupons? Hobestly, i think this was a pivotal ep for the production team. they learned how to build a scenario for this type of content and how the guys actually respond to the scenarios as well as audiences. The edit was a textbook case of how to cut together this type of content. they did an excellent job making the space seem larger than it really is too.

Endearment: Definitely a success on the endearment scale. Most of this is carried by the battle against Hobi.

Winner: JH

Loser: V, JK

Best Cheater: V... such betrayal...JK didn't fall for it though!

Member Moments:

RM: Of course he loses his pigdolf on his own right at the beginning!! I just LOVE RMs face when he finds the ornaments others miss. BOY, you KNOW you've been one to miss the obvious in other eps. Don't even try to pull that. lol

JN: Jin's greatest work holding the camera...cut to chase scene where we can't see him. nice.

YG: Suga taking the empty box and the spare props brings me back to ep where he tried to talk his way into a reward with the flags. i just KNOW he was going to try something again. maybe he did and we just didn't get the footage...

JH: oh, Hobi, you are the least intimidating spy to ever be. But seriously, did no one ever tell you NOT to run with scissors?!

JM: EVERY SCENE this episode, Jimin just pushes my cuteness buttons. i can't handle it. is it the santa hat? the overalls? the pigdolph? i don't know but I'm suffering.

V: Excellent mannequin challege V. and RM is the fall guy as usual.

JK: Poor JK! You protect that lil piggy! i think him losing his at the beginning actually made him hyperfocus on protecting it instead of the game.

Bonus Content:�� Just some classic, cute extra moments. Definitely worth a first watch. Not actual bonus content but I noticed the clothes they're wearing in the fake interviews are the same from the next episodes, so I'm assuming the manitos were actually filmed before the scavenger hunt game?

CQ Rank: 4

(CQ Eval Date: 3 DEC 2023)

Check out this post for my Masterlist of all episodes and descriptions of how I'm evaluating these.

Previous Episode: 031

Next Episode: 033

[nyx07]

Me volví una estrella y no entendió que yo lo hice por ella

ℕ𝕐𝕏-𝟘𝟟

[thetargaryenbride]

Nail To The Coffin - S4 - Chapter 3

Warnings: self-h@rm and $uicid@al thoughts [I’m sorry about that. I don’t delve too deep into this tho.]

Pairing: Steve Harrington x f!Byers!Reader

Word Count: 7810

𝐀𝐍: 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘢 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘠𝘌𝘛 𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘝𝘦𝘤𝘯𝘢 𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘤𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘔𝘢𝘹 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘷𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘴. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘹𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘷𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘶𝘤𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘥. 𝘈𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘤𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘥. 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢. 𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘧 𝘪𝘵’𝘴 𝘢 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵, 𝘪𝘵’𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴. 𝘚𝘰 𝘝𝘦𝘤𝘯𝘢 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘻𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘦’𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭, 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘵’𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘢 𝘣𝘪𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥/𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘭.

𝑰𝒎𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒕: 𝑰 𝒑𝒖𝒕 𝒊𝒎𝒂𝒈𝒆𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒑 𝒑𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒂 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒎𝒂𝒈𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒊𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒈𝒈𝒍𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒐 𝒔𝒐 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒔𝒆𝒕 𝒊𝒏 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒔𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒐𝒃𝒗𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒍𝒚 𝒊𝒎𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 😁

𝐀𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬, 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐟 𝐈’𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐎𝐎𝐂 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲. 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘏𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘪𝘵! 🖤 🥀

Masterlist || Chapter 2 || Chapter 4

“Y/N, wake up. We’ve arrived,” you felt a hand shake your shoulder slightly and your eyes fluttered open, landing on Jonathan. “Come see our new home,” he smiled at you and you sat up slowly, rubbing your eyes and temples so you could properly wake up before exiting the car and joining your family.

It was a two-story house made of thick wooden planks, like most others, painted in a combination of white and navy blue. There was a medium-sized yard with a white picket fence. The porch had two comfy armchairs with a table in between and lots of plants scattered all over. The windows were huge, in places almost taking up the entirety of the wall. There were lots of trees – both normal and palms – down the street and all throughout the neighborhood, throwing nice shades. There was a big one in your yard, big and sturdy enough so you could make yourselves a swing and hang it up. There were two big balconies on the second floor, the railing of which similar to the fence around the house.

What you loved a lot was the big front door with gorgeous stained glass.

It was located in Santa Monica, Fraser Avenue, which was not far from Westwood, UCLA, and was only thirty or so minutes distance by bus. It was the perfect spot.

“Woah…Dr. Owens really outdid himself,” you let out and Will and El looked at you with sparkling eyes, which made you smile. You were glad and more than content to see them happy, even if you were tearing on the inside because you missed home and you missed Steve and Eddie.

You missed Hopper and Billy too.

You never did visit their graves after that stormy, summer day when you had poured your soul out in front of them.

You never got the proper closure you needed in order to fully move on.

So now, you felt stuck.

Now, this place was weighing heavily on your chest. It felt wrong being here away from Hawkins and everything you loved and needed. It felt wrong starting anew when people you cherished were rotting six feet under.

But at least you were glad to see Will and El smile. They needed this. Maybe to them, starting anew was something good, something to look forward to and explore, an adventure, something to aid their healing, even though they also missed Mike and the others.  

“C’mon, let’s get in!” Will grabbed you by the hand and began dragging you towards the front door and shortly after, all of you piled inside.

The interior was just as beautiful as the exterior. It was very coastal style with lots of white and blue colors, wooden tones, and some marine and Mediterranean patterns. The kitchen, dining space, and living room were merged together. There was a bathroom on each floor, and there were two rooms on the first floor – the only ones that weren’t fully furnished – that you were going to transform into bedrooms for Jonathan and your mom. Meanwhile, there were three bedrooms on the second floor that were going to be for you, Will, and El.

But the moment you set foot in your bedroom, it wasn’t the nice, comfy-looking bed you noticed first, or the colors and the patterns on the walls, or the big desk you’d be able to use for studying, or the space you had to place all your figurines, canvas, and other art things. No. What you noticed first was the view from the balcony and the windows of your room.

The ocean.

Apparently, Dr. Owens believed that this would be therapeutical for you, that it would benefit your mental health because it was scientifically proven that the ocean, or water in general, helped a lot to soothe a troubled mind. He called it, the blue mind theory.

“This theory explains how being near water, even for just twenty minutes a day, has a great impact on our wellbeing,” had explained the man.

Yet for you, it turned out to be the exact opposite.

Instead, the moment you took a glimpse of the body of water, your whole body chilled to the bone and you got flooded with memories of Billy. You could almost feel his presence right next to you, you could almost hear him talking to you as if he was still alive and standing by your side, speaking fondly of the blue horizon, how much he missed the ocean, how much he loved to surf and dive. It was so overwhelming it made you dizzy, making you pull the curtains and block the view.

“Y/N? Is everything okay?” came Will’s voice and you shut your eyes, taking a large, deep gulp of air in order to calm your racing heart, before you turned to face your brother, forcing a smile on.

“Everything is fine.”

At first, you thought of asking your mom to change rooms. But soon after, you came to realize that no matter what room you were in, you could always see the ocean. And as the days weaved by, this fact became ever the more frustrating to you. Every time you’d get a glimpse of the water, your mind would jump to Billy.

The more time went by, the more you were getting bothered by the view.

Everything around you served as too heavy a reminder that he was gone...Gone because he got mixed up in your messy world…and because you failed him.

It’s like the place was soaked in his presence. Sometimes, on the rare occasions when you’d go on the balcony and look at the nauseating blue, you even thought you were seeing him by the beach, swimming in the ocean, or riding the waves on his board. It’s like some invisible force that you couldn’t fight against wired your brain to think of this all the time. You thought of how he should’ve been here instead. How he should’ve gotten the chance to return to his beloved California and ride the waves again – one of the very few things that made him truly happy in this wretched life of his. The ocean and the waves were his companions and coping mechanisms against his father’s abuse. The water gave him peace of mind and made him feel happy. He was extra sour and angry when he was torn away from it and now he was never going to come back to it.

It’s like he was a ghost that haunted your every waking minute. And not only waking. Even in your dreams, you saw him and Hopper and relived the incident over and over again. You were mercilessly thrown into the dark depths of plaguing nightmares that tormented you every night.

It’s like the survivor guilt you had been battling against all summer returned in full force. It’s like something was digging into your very soul and carving out pieces to throw into that same ocean. It’s like all the progress you’ve made was for naught because your mental health deteriorated faster than a sinking ship once you moved out of Hawkins. In fact, it felt like ripping off a band-aid and tearing the scab off the healing tissue, causing it to reopen and bleed again.

Your family wasn’t blind to this.

They could see it all – the fear, the torment, the silent, simmering-within insanity and hysteria that overtook you.

And they were scared. They were scared that you’d get even more lost and that maybe you’d end up being swallowed by the same ocean you so feared to face.

For the longest of time, so did you, hence why you avoided it like the plague. Not once did you go to the beach since moving to LA. You were afraid that if you did that, you might just as well succumb to it and let it take you into its depths forever.

All of this was so overbearing that it sent you careening down a path of self-loathing and an even deeper survivor’s guilt. Coupled with the fact that you were away from Steve and the others, having to build your life anew, dealing with university, burying yourself in studying non-stop which had forced the return of your eye bags and dark circles, almost making you reach out for the sweet Ketamine, or something stronger, again, made everything all the more unbearable.

This resulted in you spiraling into suicidal thoughts that suffocated you, scratched you, and tore you apart so badly that at one point you actually began thinking of ending it all. Just slicing your flesh and bleeding out in the bathtub or maybe finally going to the ocean just so you could throw yourself off a bridge and let the water wrestle the oxygen out of your lungs.  

During the first months after moving in, you had only two states of mind.

You were either utterly overwhelmed by everything and wanted something to distract you from the mess that was in your head, because it truly felt like someone was hammering nails into your brain, or you were just completely numb, not feeling anything both physically and mentally, and you wanted to make yourself feel something, to make sure you were still alive.

No adrenaline helped fix the numbness and no meditations and art therapies helped fix the chaos in your head. You were bouncing back and forth between those two states of mind and it was the most excruciating thing you’ve ever experienced – perhaps even worse than what you had to deal with after the damages inflicted by the Flayer, although this condition was also more of an extension of said damages.

You felt like a vase. A vase that got broken, then someone glued the pieces together but the glue wasn’t strong enough so at one point the porcelain fell apart again and the person was trying to glue the pieces all over again.

So sometimes, when you lay in bed, unable to sleep because of nightmares or the multiple thoughts in your head that didn’t give you peace, you thought of how much you wanted to escape the torturous grip of life and fall into the sweet release of death. You thought of how much you wanted to replace Billy. You wished he was here instead and that you were rotting in the ground back in Hawkins.

The thing is, you never did have the courage to go through with it.

You’d begin cutting but you’d always stop yourself and then you would cry your eyes out while bandaging your wrist as immense guilt and disgust would overwhelm you.

You did it three times.

On the fourth, you were caught by Jonathan.

Everyone had been keeping a close eye on you after moving to LA but Jonathan was extra insightful. He realized what was going on before anyone else did and one day he stalked you to the bathroom and caught you red-handed – figuratively and literally. He immediately slapped the razor away and cleaned and bandaged the cut through falling tears, not uttering a single word the whole time which made you feel even more guilty and horrible.

When Will, El, and your mom found out, because Jonathan refused to keep it a secret, they were devastated. Your mom especially cried her eyes out, secretly in her room without knowing you could hear her when passing by. That made you feel even more horrible for causing such pain to your family again. For letting them down. For thinking it was a good idea to abandon them. How could you do that to them? Especially to Will and El who were so young and traumatized beyond belief already. You didn’t need to throw more sorrow and trauma onto their shoulders.

That, and the amazing therapist your mother and Dr. Owens had found for you, made you give up on the idea of self-harm and death. At the core of it, though, it was all thanks to Jonathan because he was the one who caught you and thankfully he did so on time. Sure, you were in a state that was unstable, chaotic, messy, and troubled, but it was not irreversible and impossible to fix. It was all still in its beginning phase which is why you were able to begin your healing journey relatively fast after that.

The thoughts returned occasionally, tempting you, but every time it happened, you ran to your family for help. You shared your struggles and thoughts with them, and they did their best to help you win the fight against your demons.

It wasn’t until one night when you were passing by your mother’s desk that you saw a newspaper open on the page of properties for rent. Your mother was looking for a place to rent so you could move out. That had hit you like a rock-solid wave. You couldn’t believe that this chain of emotions and traumas was triggered by the ocean of all things and now your mother was thinking of moving away from it… for you. She was doing it all for your benefit and you knew the others were going to follow through in a heartbeat. But they seemed so happy in this house, going to the beach, having fun.

So one day, without telling anyone, you decided to take drastic action.

You didn’t want them to move to another house because of you. You had just properly settled into this one. You didn’t want your siblings’ time to pass by in constant moving and adjusting to new places. Once was enough.

You went to the beach and tried to fight against everything inside you that was screaming at you to run away. You tried fighting against the visions and thoughts of Billy’s decaying torso, filled with holes that gushed black blood. You tried to fight against the feeling of razors on the soles of your feet once they touched the sand.

But before your mind could win, before fear and trauma could overpower you, you forced your legs to move, and just like that you ran headfirst into the water and dived under. You felt your ears get squeezed and muffled by the water pressure and you could hear the frequency of your own heartbeat and blood circulation.  

It was weirdly humbling… and soothing.

The water caressed your skin and had such an instant calming effect on you that it shocked you to the core. It chased away any previous feelings of fear. The chaos in your mind quietened and the numbness got filled with the sound of water and dolphins.

You hadn’t wanted to set foot on the sand and near the water, you hadn’t wanted to even look at them, and now you didn’t want to leave.

And it’s like something in your brain snapped at that moment. It was like flipping a light switch.

In fact, you actually almost ran out of oxygen when you felt strong arms grab yours and pull you out.

“Are you okay? Breathe with me! Just breathe!”

That’s how you first met Ronnie – the lifeguard everyone seemed to have the hots for, yet he seemed to talk and flirt only with you. Maybe because he saved you from almost drowning and was there to witness your moment of ecstasy so he became weirdly attached to you.

That same day, you got home absolutely drenched, clothes and hair wrinkled and clinging to you as you dripped seawater onto the floors and carpets. It was a rather ridiculous sight to behold as your siblings would inform you later on.

“Mama, you’ll never believe what just happened,” were the first words you uttered while she stared at you in complete bewilderment.

“Honey, what happened to you!?”

“I was swimming in the ocean,” you revealed just in time when everyone else ran into the living room and they could only stare in utter stupor.

“You did…what again?” asked Jonathan in disbelief.

“I swam in the ocean,” you repeated, a smile growing on your face. “I swam in the ocean!” you exclaimed and Joyce let out a baffled chuckle before sharing looks with the others.

And then all of you laughed.  

Eventually, you were able to somehow turn the tide around and learned to look at the ocean with different eyes. Slowly, it did become a therapy for you, aiding the one you were already receiving, and a way to fondly remember, cherish, and honor Billy’s memory instead of agonizing over it. He would’ve absolutely loathed you for avoiding the ocean – the one thing he loved the most – and he would’ve smacked you across the head and scolded you for falling victim to such a mindset. You used all that to fuel yourself and even began learning how to surf. Every time you’d go to the beach, instead of seeing a dying, blood-gurgling Billy, you’d see a happy Billy. You’d see his charming, mischievous smile and you’d hear his laughter and the way he fondly spoke of the ocean and his surfing.

“I’ll surf for the both of us,” you had promised while painting and decorating your board, and true to your word, you surfed every day and as time went by, you became a great surfer, much to your family’s surprise. It’s like you channeled Billy and now you ruled the waves instead of fearing them.

So while your flesh was now scarred because of the rough first months you had, you were at least proud of yourself that even after being pushed to the edge, you didn’t topple over it and you were steadily walking the path of overcoming some of the darkest moments in your life.

Of course, you couldn’t help but still feel sad sometimes. It’s like that feeling came and went like an uninvited guest, never truly leaving you, because the path you were walking was long, tedious, and you still had a long way to go. You knew that nothing was or was ever going to be like it used to be. You would always carry the pain, the sorrow, and the bad memories with you which was something that prevented your smile from being as bright as it used to be and created a certain air of melancholia around you, but you were on your way to getting better and that’s what mattered most at the end of the day. You were trying your damn hardest and you knew that one day you’d be able to completely defeat the traumas and regain your bright smile. The broken vase was being pieced together slowly and steadily and this time you had hope that it wasn’t going to fall apart again.  

Unfortunately, because the process of healing was far from complete, you still had moments of weakness, moments when insecurities took over, moments when bad memories and trauma took over, making you more sensitive, hurting you, forcing you to relive the pain you were trying to overcome. Like that time when your professor groped you. Sometimes it hit you when you walked down the hallways and saw people looking at you and whispering, thinking they were talking about you which oftentimes made you feel insecure about everything – the way you were dressed, the way you looked, whether the scars on your wrist were visible, etc.

You never did tell Steve about any of this.

You just didn’t want to worry him. You didn’t want him to know just how hard you had taken the moving and that the ocean had triggered a whole lot of problems and traumas for you that reversed all the hard work you had put into healing during the summer.

So you didn’t blame him when he grabbed your wrist and pulled it closer to himself so he could inspect it. You didn’t blame him for freaking out. You didn’t blame him for needing answers, or for worrying about your mental health.  

“Can we…can we just focus on cleaning the wound, please?” you looked at him with pleading eyes. “I don’t want to talk about this. We’re dealing with something…really bad right now,” you tried to divert their attention onto the issue at hand but Steve shook his head.

“No…No! We’re totally having this conversation. I need to know what’s going on!” he waved his hands in a frenzy and you sighed.

“Steve, nothing is going on. Not anymore,” you revealed but his eyes still held onto the panic, looking at you with disbelief. “Listen, the first months were just…very hard for me, okay? Shit hit the fan in the most unpleasant way and this was the result,” you jerked your wrist. “But it’s over now. I’m…I’m healing…It was a rough moment of weakness…But I overcame it. The thoughts come back sometimes,” you admitted. “But they’re just an echo. They don’t have the same powerful grip as they used to during those first months…okay?” you looked deep into his eyes, making sure he got the message, and he nodded slowly, still unconvinced but he chose to put his trust in you either way.  

“Okay,” he muttered as he grabbed the bottle of water and unclasped it, pouring some onto your palm to clean it which made you hiss. He continued to silently treat your wound and the stillness of the atmosphere was getting to you, so you decided to break it.

“Look, I would really appreciate it if you guys don’t walk on eggshells around me. I promise, I’m…fine,” you tried to reassure them even though you didn’t fully trust your own words, mostly because of the strange visions you were getting, and everyone shared concerned, unsure looks before nodding.

“No pity looks, worried looks, or hawk looks, got it,” agreed Robin, and you sent her a grateful smile.

“Okay, so,” you drawled. “It’s gonna get dark soon. I suggest we…rest for now?”

“I agree. This is too much to handle in one day,” sighed Max before standing up and grabbing her bag.

“Hey, hold on. I was going to offer we bunk up here,” you spoke out and she halted in her movements. “It’s gonna be…less lonely and scary if we’re all together.”

“I’m all up for that!” Dustin immediately agreed with a grin.

“I mean…sure, why not?” joined Robin and you smiled, turning to look at Max expectantly who fidgeted in her spot for a bit before begrudgingly agreeing.

“Great! Um, Eddie, you can take Jonathan’s room. Dustin, you can take Will’s, and Robin and Max, you guys can take mom’s. Her bed is big enough for two people to fit in,” you offered.

Before you could say anything else, Steve finished wrapping up your hand and stood up, wordlessly walking away and into your room. You let out a heavy sigh before you stood up as well and followed after him.

“Ookay,” drawled Robin awkwardly. “Who wants some sweets?” she asked with a tight smile and everyone lifted their hands.

You shut the door quietly as you hesitantly walked into your room, eyes worriedly running over Steve’s form. He had his back turned on you as he paced slowly around the room, hands on his hips, head down.

“Steve-“

“How could you not tell me about any of this?” he cut you off as he finally stopped in his tracks and turned to face you, suddenly making you feel even more nervous than you were before. “Y/N, this is serious. You were,” he gulped. “Y-you were thinking of-of…putting an end…to your life,” he raised his voice a little but it wasn’t all fueled by anger. It was mostly filled with worry.

He was upset. Rightfully so.

“I didn’t tell you… because I didn’t want to worry you,” you began as you wrung your hands, not being able to look him in the eyes.

“Y/N, don’t come at me with that kinda excuse-“

“It’s not an excuse. I’m serious,” you took a step forward and lifted your head to look him in the eyes. “If I had told you, you would’ve come running to California.”

“And is that such a bad thing!?”

“It is because you would’ve seen me at my lowest…again,” you admitted bitterly and his eyebrows furrowed.

“I don’t understand.”

“You already saw me at my lowest once…after the Mind Flayer incident…and you were there for me, every step of the road to recovery. You suffered so much because of me. You took so much of my pain and burden onto yourself. It’s because of you, taking so much of my load, that I was able to somehow piece myself together. But who was there to take that load off of you?” you shook your head, eyes darting all over the room insecurely before settling back onto his. “If I had told you, you would’ve gone through the same hell again. And I just couldn’t find it in me to put you through something like this again,” you admitted and his face distorted into one of sympathy, understanding, but also pain.  

“Okay, when you put it like that, I understand. But still,” he threw his hands in defeat. “Y/N, I’m your boyfriend. And I love you. I love you so much,” he confessed sincerely and you felt your heart melt at his vigor and determination. “I don’t mind shouldering your burden at all. I’m fine with it. Even if there’s nobody to take it off my shoulders. Actually, there is no need for another person to take the burden off. We’re together in this. You and I. We hold one another through bad times. We share the difficulties and overcome them together. You don’t need to worry about me shouldering your burden. They are mine to shoulder too and I will do it without hesitation,” he waved his hand categorically and your smile grew. “So please,” he shortened the distance between you and grabbed your hands in his, mindful of your bandaged one. “Don’t ever hide such things from me just because you want to protect me or something,” he pleaded with sad eyes and you shut yours, gulping the lump in your throat, before nodding.

You had been so afraid of his reaction, because you knew he was eventually going to find out, and you had expected him to be super mad and maybe not even talk to you for a while. But seeing him now, showing such understanding, made you realize how much he’s grown and it’s like he was getting wiser with each passing day.

“Steve Harrington, you’re made out of gold…and I’m the luckiest girl because I’m able to call you mine,” you whispered and his lip curled into a smirk, eyes rolling goodnaturedly before he leaned and pressed his lips against yours in a tender kiss full of love and desperation.

Your body flushed against his as you slowly began to push him back until his legs hit the edge of the bed.

“I know what you’re trying to do, and don’t get me wrong, I really wanna do it too, but are you sure we can, I mean, there are people out there,” he muttered against your lips in between kisses and you shrugged.

“It’s been almost a year, Steve,” you reminded him and he hummed.

“Fair point,” he stuttered out a second before the two of you toppled onto the bed and his arms quickly found their way around your waist, hands roaming over your sides before he flipped you around so you were the one lying under him.

“Can you keep quiet?”

“So we got, uh, some good news and some bad news,” spoke out Dustin and the atmosphere turned from somewhat cheerful into dreadful. “How do you prefer it?”

“Bad news first, always,” responded Eddie right away.

You and Steve, unfortunately, didn’t have the time to indulge in love-making, for you had been interrupted by Dustin knocking on the door, urging you to sort out your problems later because you had to go out and investigate what was going on with the police. And while Eddie had stayed at your house, hiding, everyone else decided to go out while you still had some daylight to spare. Robin, Dustin, and Max went one way while you and Steve went another, stopping at the supermarket at one point so you could buy all kinds of products to stock yourself with.

“All right. Bad news. We tapped into the Hawkins PD dispatch with our Cerebro, and they’re definitely looking for you,” revealed Dustin and Eddie’s face fell. “Also, they’re, uh, pretty convinced you killed C-Chrissy,” the boy’s eyes darted nervously between you and Eddie as he said that and you folded your lips, leaving the glass on the counter and walking slowly over to the table.

“Like, hundred percent convinced,” added Max.

“And the good news?”

“Your name hasn’t gone public yet,” explained Robin. “But it’s probably a matter of time before they find out you’re hiding here and-”

“Let them,” you intervened and everyone snapped their heads to look at you in surprise. “Let them find out that he’s here... We can use that to our advantage and just say he’s been here the whole time.”

“Wait, wait, wait, hold on,” Dustin waved his hands with a scrunched-up forehead. “You mean to say…we give them a fake alibi?”

“Yeah. We’ll just say that all of us gathered to celebrate so Eddie wasn’t home when the…when the murder happened,” you gulped.

“So you say we lie to the police?”

“Look, we can’t go out there and start hunting Vecna,” you shook your head. “We don’t know how long that’s gonna take and in the meantime, Eddie can get in serious trouble. Like, he might actually get convicted of murder, arrested, and thrown into prison, while right as of now he’s only a suspect. There’s still a loophole, a way to divert the suspicion away from him…Besides, even if we hunt down Vecna and kill him that may not be enough to prove Eddie’s innocence. So the best route to take is to just talk to the police and tell them Eddie’s been with us the whole time, away from his home.”

“But-“

“Hopper would’ve done it,” you reminded them with a bit of a bite in your tone which silenced them. “He wouldn’t have allowed an innocent person to be wrongly accused and arrested even if it meant achieving this through a fake alibi... I intend to follow his ideology.”

“Are you sure it’s going to work?” pressed Max and you sighed heavily through your nose.

“If I know Calvin…it’s going to work. But we have to go now.”

“Y/N?” Calvin’s eyes widened when he opened the door after hearing loud knocking and saw you standing there with a bunch of other teens behind you. “When did you get here?” he asked as his lip twitched into a fond smile and you gave him a quick hug before entering his office, urging the others to follow.  

“Last evening,” you lied smoothly through your teeth. “I spent the whole day traveling. First the plane, then the bus, gosh, it was a nightmare,” you groaned and he let out a chuckle, placing his hands on his hips and shaking his head.

“Missed you, kiddo.”

“Me too. I missed everyone. Pity I didn’t catch Flo and the others but…hopefully tomorrow…Listen, we heard the news of…of the murdered student,” you decided it was time for you to jump to the topic at hand and the man let out a heavy sigh.

“Look, Y/N, this is a very sensitive topic right now-“ his tone wavered when he finally got a good look at the group of teens you had come with, eyes landing on no other than Eddie and widening in surprise. “You’re Munson’s boy,” spoke the man, his body tensing. “The body of the girl was-“

“Uncle Calvin,” you drew his attention onto you. “We came here exactly because of that.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“When we heard about the murder we sort of…went to investigate and…we found out it took place at Eddie’s home,” you began. “But the thing is, Eddie wasn’t there the night this happened. We were all together, actually. The moment I arrived back in Hawkins, I went to see Steve and Robin. And after that, we went to meet with Eddie, Dustin, Max, and Lucas. We wanted to gather the whole group and throw a party for my return. So all of us spent the night together,” you described everything without stuttering once and prayed that you managed to sound convincing enough.

“Hold on, hold on,” waved his hands the man. “You mean to tell me that Munson wasn’t at the trailer when the girl was murdered?” he asked and all of you nodded.

“Yes, he was with us the whole time,” butted in Steve.

“When we woke up today and heard about all this, we got worried,” added Robin as she tried to suppress the nervous shaking of her voice by clearing her throat. “So we went to check what was going on and when we learned that Eddie was considered the main suspect-“

“We immediately ran here to tell you because we didn’t want any misunderstandings to harm Munson here,” finished Steve as he patted the boy in question’s shoulder, his hand staying there and squeezing encouragingly.  

“Well, I’ll be damned,” muttered the officer, eyebrows furrowing deep in thought. “Then…who could have done it?”

“I don’t know, sir, but I can promise you that it wasn’t me and I can also guarantee it wasn’t my uncle because he’s been taking night shifts at the plant these past weeks,” spoke out Eddie with a slightly shaky voice and Calvin rubbed his chin.

“I bet that whoever did it chose Eddie’s home on purpose. I mean, it’s easier to frame a family who’s had clashes with crime before in order to get the police off their trail and misguide everyone,” added Robin while whirling to whisper a ‘Sorry’ to Eddie.

“Alright, kids, I’m grateful for your help and the information you provided but I think it’s time you went home,” said the man seriously. “Eddie, I’m not going to arrest you or anything but I’m afraid I’ll still need to keep an eye on you, so stay put and keep a low profile, okay? Meanwhile, I’ll tell the others to get off your back and investigate more.”

“Yes, sir. Thank you.”

“Do you have a place to stay?” asked the man and Eddie fidgeted in his spot a bit.

“He can just stay at home,” you suggested. “House arrest will be funnier with friends, no?”

“Alright, but inform your uncle first. He’s quite worried about you.”

“I’ll call him right away.”

Next Morning

“This is the moment I was looking forward to the most,” you muttered and Steve hummed, cracking open an eye.

Last night, you, Max, and Robin had prepared a delicious dinner, with Steve and Eddie annoying you and butting in occasionally, trying to help but making everything messy instead, which resulted in you kicking them out of the kitchen. You had watched a movie because all of you wanted to distract yourselves with something, to take your minds off the current crisis even if it was for a while. You had talked afterwards, caught up, and shared interesting stories and experiences, with you having the most to share. Then everyone went to bed except for you and Steve who finally got the chance to spend the night together.  

“You’re just the cutest when you’re all groggy,” you chuckled and he let out a huff.

“Only when I’m groggy?” he slurred and you ran a hand through his hair.

“All the time. But especially when you’re waking up.”

He took hold of your hand and pried it out of his locks, bringing it to his lips so he could place a kiss on top. He felt the rough surface of bandages instead of skin and he sobered up, lifting himself up and propping his upper body on his elbow while his hand was busy holding and observing yours, finally taking proper notice of the couple of scars that were lined on your wrist and the eight-pointed star tattoo that covered a small part of them.

“They’re ugly,” you groaned and he let out a deep chuckle, shaking his head as he lowered it to place butterfly kisses on your wrist. “I’m ugly. Like…I’ve lost so much weight because of…everything that happened…I guess…it just piled on and…you can see my ribcage now for fuck’s sake,” you huffed in discontent.

“If you say you’re ugly ever again, I’ll wash your mouth with soap,” he threatened and you snorted. “Y/N you look beautiful,” he said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world while looking deep into your eyes, and you didn’t see a sliver of hesitation or wavering in his tone and the energy he exuded. “You’ll always be beautiful... You just look…more tired…” he uttered with pity and defeat.

“Well, after last night, how can I not be?” you tried to play it off and he would’ve laughed and smirked teasingly had this been under any other circumstances.

“You know what I mean.”

Just as you were about to say something, there was a knock on your door, interrupting the moment.

“Are you thinking of finally getting out of bed, lovebirds? Look at the time!”

“Well, well, well, look who decided to finally grace us with their royal presence,” greeted Eddie while he poured warm milk into his bowl and Steve rolled his eyes. “Good morning, King Steve. I hope you slept well,” he sang out with a sly smirk.

“Good morning to you too, little troll,” Steve quipped and Eddie put a hand on his chest as if he had just been deeply offended.

“Here,” Max handed you a glass of juice and you thanked her before grabbing it and taking a sip.

“So,” drawled Robin as she slithered closer to you. “Did you two make some royal babies last night?” she asked with a smirk, bobbing her eyebrows, and you choked on the liquid, almost spitting it out.

“Ew,” muttered Max with a face scrunched up in disgust as she took her plate and quickly left the counter, heading for the table.

“Are you trying to commit murder, Robin Hood? Because you almost succeeded,” you sputtered and cleared your throat while wiping your mouth with a napkin.

“I’m afraid regicide is not yet on my list but if I feel adventurous one day, I’ll add it,” she snorted out a laugh before joining the rest at the table.

“Okay, guys, seriously, we need a plan of action,” began Dustin, and just then, the phone rang.

You gulped as you left the glass on the counter and rushed to pick up the device, surprised to hear no other than Eddie’s uncle on the phone.

“Um, guys,” you called out after you finished the conversation and everyone looked on expectantly. “I think the plan of action has got to wait. There’s something we gotta check first.”

“What could possibly be more important than that?”

“Another victim.”

The moment Wayne had called you, telling you about a friend of yours who had interviewed him last night and who had ended up losing her partner in the woods which come morning was followed by sirens and police cars rushing somewhere, you had immediately jumped in Steve’s car while Dustin and Eddie, who had parked his van a bit further down the road which is why you and Steve hadn’t seen it the previous day, got into the van and all of you headed for the crime scene in an instant.

“Did you look into Victor Creel?” asked Nancy, unease lacing her voice, and the policemen shared a look.

“Sorry, what’s that?”

“Victor Creel. Wayne got it in her head that the old nut did this,” sighed Daniel and Calvin clicked his tongue.

“Victor is locked away. Don’t need to worry about him, alright?” tried to comfort her the man. “Now, you said last you saw Fred, he was by the picnic tables. Do I have that right?” he asked but Nancy’s attention was drawn by two vehicles that just arrived and parked not far from the police cars. “Ms. Wheeler?” he asked again and his eyebrows furrowed when he noticed her staring behind him, making him turn around and trail her gaze, eyes landing on your group who had exited the cars and were now heading towards the girl and the policemen.

“Officer,” you called out, choosing to stick with his professional title in front of his colleagues instead of calling him uncle which was reserved only for when he was alone or with Hopper and the others. “What happened?” you asked once you reached him and he shook his head, eyes darting between Nancy and you.

“I think Ms. Wheeler here will be able to tell you the story better than me.”

“Nance?”

“You’re saying that this thing that killed Fred and Chrissy, it’s from the Upside Down?” asked Nancy after you filled her in and after she filled you in.

“If the shoe fits,” replied Steve.

“Our working theory is that he attacks with a spell or a curse,” explained Dustin. “Now, whether or not he’s doing the bidding of the Mind Flayer or just loves killing teens, we don’t know.”

“All we know is that…this is something different,” added Max.

“But it doesn’t make any sense,” you sighed. “Why is he targeting these people in particular? They have no relation to the supernatural whatsoever and they have nothing in common, nothing that connects them in any way. So why them?” your last question held more bite and poison to it and the others sent you sympathetic looks.

“Maybe there’s no particular reason,” offered Eddie with sagged shoulders. “Maybe they were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“They were both at the game and near the trailer park.”

“And they both died during the night.”  

“Uh, we’re at the trailer park,” reminded them Steve. “Should we maybe not be here?”

“There is something about this place,” agreed Robin.

“I felt uneasy since we arrived,” you muttered as you drummed your fingers against the wooden table, scratching it with your nails a bit, and looked around nervously.

You truly had felt quite heavy and uneasy the moment you had parked here. It was a familiar feeling, something close to what you had felt that night when Will was kidnapped.

“Fred started acting weird the second we got here,” disclosed Nancy.

“Acting weird as in?”

“Scared…on edge…upset.”

“Max said Chrissy was upset too,” blurted out Dustin.

“Yeah, but not here. She was crying in the bathroom at school.”

“Oh, God,” you muttered as you propped your elbows onto the table and buried your head in your hands. “It’s that wretched woman again,” you grit out and the others shared confused looks.

“Woman? What woman?” asked Eddie.

“Her mother,” you grumbled, arms dropping down in defeat. “She’s always pestered her, always body-shamed her, calling her fat, a pig, and whatever other bullshit,” you spat out and everyone scrunched up their faces.

“That’s just sick.”

“It is. Chrissy began forcing herself to throw up the food she’d eat,” you revealed bitterly and their eyes widened.

“What? You mean…she developed an eating disorder because of her mom?”

“Yeah. If that’s not trauma, I don’t know what is.”

“Hold on,” Max’s head shot up in realization. “When you said trauma, I remembered something...I saw Chrissy leaving Ms. Kelley’s office. Maybe she and Fred saw Vecna and got scared. But if you see a monster, you wouldn’t go to the police, right? They’d never believe you. But, you might go to-“

“Your shrink.”

What followed was your group splitting into two squads.

Squad number one consisted of Nancy and Robin who decided to go and do some research in the library about a ‘shot in the dark’ that Nancy didn’t yet wish to share with the rest of the party.

Squad two consisted of you, Steve, Max, Dustin, and Eddie, who decided to head for Ms. Kelley’s house so Max could go in and try to wrench some information from her regarding Chrissy and Fred’s cases.

Steve had cleaned your cuts and re-wrapped your hand while you waited. Lucas had tried contacting you at one point and you had tried explaining to him that Eddie was innocent but for some reason he cut off, making you all wonder what was going on with the boy. Then, Max bolted out of the woman’s house and jumped into the car, urging him to drive away.

So now, you found yourselves entering the school, having broken into it because it was evening and the building was closed and locked.

“It’s like a mini Watergate or something,” commented Dustin after you entered Ms. Kelley’s office. “Hawkinsgate.”

“Didn’t those guys get caught?” asked Steve as the boys observed something and you shone your flashlight into their faces, making them squeeze their eyes and recoil from the harsh light.

“Hey, can we focus?”

“Alright, alright, just get it off my face.”  

“Holy shit,” let out Max which drew everyone’s attention and all of you rushed to her side.

“You found it?”

“Yeah, and not just Chrissy’s file. Fred was seeing Ms. Kelley too, just like we speculated,” she said as she pulled a couple of thin folders and everyone shared a look while she sat on a chair and slapped the papers onto the desk, quickly skimming through each and every one of them.

Your heart plummeted when you saw everything written on Chrissy’s file, realizing that her physical condition and mental health had only deteriorated since you left Hawkins. It hurt that she hadn’t shared this with you. It made you feel worthless, and helpless because maybe if she had turned to you, you could’ve helped her somehow, because being surrounded by people who loved you and being showered with positivity usually managed to do the trick and help chase away the sorrow and the struggles.

And now you knew how Steve felt when he learned you’d been struggling without telling him anything. And you wanted to smack yourself for not confiding in him.  

Trauma was complicated, much like the humans bearing it.

“Can I see Fred’s file?” asked the girl and you quickly handed the document to her, eyes widening once she opened it and revealed the written inside. It was the same as Chrissy’s – severe headaches, constant nightmares, nosebleeds, past trauma.

“Max, what is it? Max? Max!?”

And as Dustin was calling out for the girl, who seemed to have fallen into a state of shock, staring blankly at the papers, it all began making sense.

The pieces of the puzzle had begun taking order.

𝐀𝐍: 𝑰’𝒎 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇-𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒎 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒂 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒍 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑴𝒂𝒙, 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔/𝒊𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒔𝒐 𝒔𝒖𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒅𝒂𝒍. 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒘𝒐 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒔𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒂𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒆 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒊𝒕’𝒔 𝒔𝒖𝒑𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒔𝒕𝒚, 𝒔𝒐 𝑰 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒍𝒖𝒅𝒆 𝒊𝒕. 𝑰 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝑰 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒂𝒈𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒃𝒆 𝒊𝒕 𝒘𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒆𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉. 

𝑰 𝒎𝒚𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒈𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒇𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒔 𝒑𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒆 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒃𝒆𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒕 𝒈𝒐𝒕 𝒊𝒓𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒊𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒍𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒚 𝒆𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒍 𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎. 𝑺𝒐, 𝑰 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝑰 𝒎𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒂𝒄𝒄𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒍𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓’𝒔 𝒔𝒊𝒕𝒖𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒆…𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒇.

𝑰 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒊𝒕 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒆 :)

Tags: @anxiousbeech @ashstorm24 @leireggsworld @ooenjoythesilenceoo @we-out-here-simping  🖤

[cosmo-production]

Mario plus rabbid incorrect quotes

RP: I eat cheerios because they’re heart healthy. RP: And my heart has been severely damaged, so Mario, if you’re out there—

peach: "Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves." edge: ... edge: What a stupid quote. edge: I'm killing way more than two people, idiot.

edge: You’re alive. RM: No need to sound so disappointed.

RP: Hey, how did my phone break? RM : You were drunk yesterday. RP: And? peach: You threw it. RP: Why? Mario: You turned on airplane mode and kept screaming “FLY DAMN YOU!” RP: And why didn’t you stop me?! RM : We were busy laughing our butts off.

Mario: Happy birthday peach! I'm your gift! peach, whispering to RM : Did you get the receipt, or do I have to keep them?

peach: Who else is hiding in the laundry room trying to listen to Mario and luigi's convo? RP: Me. I'm in the laundry basket. RL: I'm in the washing machine. edge: I'm in the closet. RP: We accept you edge. <3 edge: No I'm literally in the closet. RP: Love is love. <3

Mario: Baby vibes... hold gentle... like hamburger. edge: Punt like football.

RR, texting RM : Text me when you’re home safely. RM : I’m home dangerously. RR: Stop it. RM : I’m home lethally.

edge: Christmas lights? peach: Check. RM : Thermos of hot cocoa? peach: Check. RP: Santa suits? peach: Check. RL: Shovel? peach: Check. Mario: Alibi and bail money? peach: Check- wait, WHAT?!

[bts-polls]

Day 3 of Bangtan-mas:

LAST CALL: Which song featuring a choir is your preference?

[nightcovefox]

Secret Santa

Warning: Bad Grammar, Rude words (Mostly Tom Phantom but it was cut off don’t worry.), Swearing, My weird head-canons

Ships: Mr.Dark x Beep-O (A little), Tom Phantom x Woodrow (A little), RM x RP (A bit)

Enjoy Reading~!

“Everyone Ready?!” an orange-haired Rabbid wearing a crown, shouted. “Ugh, just do it Rabbid Daisy!” a blonde hair Rabbid huffed, wanting to get this over with.

“Can we please hurry too?! I’m getting cold without my hat!!” replied a mustache Rabbid shivering, from the cold. 

“How do we play this again…?” spoke a Rabbid wearing a cyan dress.

“And why are we doing it too?” added a very edgy Rabbid.

“Each of us will pick up a small piece of paper that has our names on it, and we are not supposed to tell the person who we got. Once we know, the person's name on the paper, will give them a gift! Once we got the person a gift, we waited for the day for others to receive their gifts for their secret person, then we told each other who we got and gave them their gifts!!” explained Rabbid Daisy, “And doing this for fun, of course, ~” she smiled. 

“Plus, Christmas is coming up!!” exclaimed a green hat Rabbid. 

“That’s right, Rabbid Luigi!” 

“Can we start already?!” a Rabbid whined, wearing a Yoshi costume. 

“Mhm! I’ll go first~,” said Rabbid Daisy, putting her hand in Rabbid Mario’s hat. Grabbing the paper she caught, she looked at who she got and nodded her head. 

“Wanna go next Spawny?” Rabbid Daisy asks the VR-headset Rabbid. 

“Mhm!” the VR-Headset Rabbid nodded his head, other known as Spawny. Walking over to Rabbid Daisy, he grab the paper and see what he got. He shrugs and closes the paper. 

“Remember!! Don’t tell anyone who you got!” said Rabbid Daisy reminding everyone. 

“Rabbid Peach you’re up!!” she chimes. 

Rabbid Peach huffed and walked over to her, once Rabbid Peach got her paper, next was Rabbid Mario, Rabbid Rosalina, Edge, and Rabbid Yoshi. There was one Rabbid Counterpart left. Last but not least Rabbid Luigi! Rabbid Luigi walked up to her and grabbed the lonely paper in his brother’s hat. 

“Alright! That’s everyone! Here you go, Rabbid Mario!” she says, handing back his hat. “Finally!!” he said, grabbing his hat and putting it back on. 

“When is it time to give the gifts?” Rabbid Peach asks Rabbif Daisy. “Will meet back here in Peach’s garden, be here at 5:30 pm tomorrow! Don’r forget!!” 

Everyone nodded their heads. “I’ll message everyone in case you almost forget,” she added, looking at a certain Rabbid.

“Hey!!!” Rabbid Peach growled. 

“She’s not wrong-” said Rabbid Luigi agreeing with her.

“Shut up!!!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Were home!!!!” shouted Rabbid Luigi opening the door, and coming inside, his brother following behind him. 

“Welcome back!! Did something exciting happen?” Mario asks his brother’s counterpart. Placing the food on the table. 

“Yep!! We're playing Secret Santa with our friends!” replied Rabbid Luigi. He took off his scarf and hung it on the hanger. 

“Cool! Who did you get?” Luigi asks him. “Oo! I got- heeeeey. I can’t say it! I know what your trying to doooo…” he replied, eyes suspiciously both on the brothers. 

Both Mario and Luigi look at each other confused. Rabbid Mario shrugs, “I don’t think-”

“SHHHHH!!!” Rabbid Luigi shushes his brother. 

Rabbid Mario sighed. “Uhhhh… come eat.. Your food will be cold…” said Mario, chuckling. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was night, 11:30-ish pm… Rabbid Luigi doesn’t know what to get for his mystery person. His mind was so blank. He looks over his shoulder and sees his big brother knocked out, sleeping peacefully on his bed. ‘Come Lu, that’s a tomorrow problem! Just sleep!!!’ 

He tossed and turned, trying to sleep and trying to stop thinking about it. 30 minutes have past and it was already 12 am.. 

“Screw it!!” he mumbled, sitting up and getting out of bed. 

He opens the door quietly and flinches to hear his brother talking. He looked over where he was sleeping but realized his brother was talking in his sleep. Again. 

“Just me and you.. Perfect together..~” he murmured to his dream. 

Rabbid Luigi rolled his eyes and leaves, shutting the door quietly. On morning, Rabbid Mario sits up and stretches. He let out a big yawn and spoke to his brother, “Alright, let’s go get the gifts…” as he looked over to his right and saw his brother gone. “Lu…?” he spoke again. 

Next thing you know, birds were flying away from their nest hearing a loud scream. 

Mushroom Swapmeet! A very crowded place to be. But very popular too. Rabbid Luigi was walking around, his eyes went awed seeing all these fantastic things showing off! Toys, Games, Weapons! You name it!! ‘Alright, Lu this isn’t about you what you want! You wanna buy something that she likes!!! No no no.. SHE LOVES!!!’

He spotted something that caught his eye, he went over to the stand and saw a lot of wood craftsmen ships. Along with Books and Luma Plushies. He smiles knowing what he’s getting her. “Excuse me? How much is that?” he asks the owner. 

It was a Older Red Road, wearing glasses and look what the young Rabbid was pointing at. “Ohh!! Do you want that? Are you sure young man? It’s very old..” mumbled the Old Toad, “Are you sure you don’t want anything else here on the table?” he asked the young Rabbid. “Nope! That one is perfect!” Rabbid Luigi replied. “Hmm.. Alright then..!” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rabbid Luigi holding the gift in his hand, walks back home. Perfect!!! Now he can just go back home, like nothing didn’t happen and hopefully Rabbid Mario was sleeping in. 

“RAAAAAABBBBBIIIIIID LLEWELLYNNNNNNNNN!!!” someone screeched out Rabbid Luigi’s real name. “Who?-” but Rabbid Luigi felt arms wrapping around him and pulling him into a tight hug. Almost squeezing the life out of him. “R..RabbID mArIO-” he choked out, “Y-you’re going to break m-my. GiFT-!!!”

“Sorry..” he replied, letting go and letting his brother breathe. Then receives a soft punch on the shoulder. “Ow!!!” the younger Rabbid yelped. “What was that for?!” he shouted, rubbing his shoulder. “Oh come on, I hit softly but hmmm. I dunno Lu…. YOU DISAPPEARED AND ALMOST GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK!!!” Rabbid Mario shouted at the last part. Rabbid Luigi ears winced and mumbled, “Sorry.. I couldn't stop thinking about getting my mystery person a gift… and it was boring me so much… I couldn’t sleep. So, I thought it was a good idea to get the gift now and didn’t want to wake you up… to get that gift. Sorry…” he frowned, his ears drooping. 

Rabbid Mario sighed and shakes his head. “Please.. Next time just tell me.. I don’t care if you woke me up. Just tell me. I would’ve come with you.”

“S-Sorry..” he said, his tears were watery. Oh No not the tears. Rabbid Mario wipes away small tears leaking out of his eye, “Hey… Hey..! I’m not mad, I was just worried and scared that something bad would happen to you..” 

Rabbid Luigi nodded, leaning to his brother’s touch. After a few minutes, the younger brother stopped crying. Rabbid Mario sighed again and spoke, “Now.. It’s my turn to give my mystery person a gift. We still have time, right Lu?” he asked his brother. “Mhm!!” he replied. “Then let's go!!!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“They should be here by now…” Rabbid Daisy mumbled, looking in every direction to see the brothers. “Maybe Rabbid Mario sleep in again?” Rabbid Yoshi suggested. “Then Rabbid Luigi?” Rabbid Peach asks him. “I don’t know…” 

“I see them. They’re there are,” said Edge, pointing to where the brothers were running. She jumped off the tree branch and landed with the gift in her hand. 

Both Rabbid Mario and Luigi huffed and puffed, trying to catch their breath. “S-So sorry we're late!!! Mar Mar was having trouble picking out the gift…!!!” Rabbid Luigi croaks out.

“I-I hate that nickname..!” Rabbid Mario grumbled, breathing normally. The others laughed at this little reaction, before calming down. “Who wants to go first?” Rabbid Daisy asks. “I’ll go!!” replied Spawny. Spawny walked up to Rabbid Mario and handed him his gift. “Here you are!! Open it!!!” he exclaimed. 

The shape was a guitar as he opened it was indeed a guitar. But not just any guitar! It was an electric guitar!! “Woah!! È così fantastico!!! Grazie, Spawny!!” Rabbid Mario speaks Italian in the last part, hugging Spawny. Spawny doesn’t know what he’s saying, nor does his Rabbid friends. The only one who knew was Rabbid Luigi. “That guitar looks expensive!! Spawny I said under $30!!” Rabbid Daisy scolds the little Rabbid. “Don’t worry!!! A friend gave it to me and said he doesn’t want it!!!” he said, waving his arms around.

~Meanwhile~

“WHERE IS MY ELECTRIC GUITAR?!” Tom Phantom shouted, searching everywhere. 

“Ummm, I dunno..?” shrugs R2. Tom Phantom's eyes were glowing red and spotted Beep-O. “IT WAS YOU!!! YOU VACCUM CLEANER!!!” he screeched, pointing at him. “Excuse me?! I barely arrived and picked up my son!!” replied Beep-O his blue color turning to red. “LIAR!!! YOU’RE A FUCKING LIAR!!!” 

“ME A LIAR?! YOU PIECE OF %#&$/!!!”

~Outside The Dressing Room~

“Should we leave those two be?” Woodrow suggests it, drinking his cup of tea. “Hmmm. No. I would like to see where this is going.” Mr. Dark replied back to him, putting sugar cubes in his tea. 

“YOU FUCKING CU-”

“YOU’RE A $&#%#^”

~Back At The Mushroom Kingdom~

“Yep. It was a gift!” said Spawny quickly. “Uh-huh.. Right..” Rabbid Mario mumbled, not entirely convinced. “Mine turn!! My turn!!!” replied Rabbid Luigi jumping up and down. “Here Rabbid Rosalina!!” he says, handing her the gift. As she opened the lid off, she looked at what she got. It was a telescope! It had star patterns on it and the color was blue. 

“Oh wow…! T-Thank you, Rabbid Luigi..” she smiled at her friend. “I search all day-” Rabbid Luigi was cut off by Rabbid Peach shouting, “Alright! My turn! And to get this over with.” she shoved her gift to Rabbid Luigi. “Here and whatever..”

Rabbid Luigi opened the gift and inside was a Christmas globe. Oh, joy! Another one to add to his collection!! “Ooh!!! So pretty!!!” said Rabbid Luigi, hugging Rabbid Peach and his snow globe. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!!!”

“Yeah, Yeah! Let go! You’re going to ruin my outfit!” as she pushes Rabbid Luigi away. Rabbid Luigi pouted in response. 

“Here,” Edge mumbled giving Rabbid Daisy a flower pin. “Oh my gosh!! It’s so beautiful!! Thank you, Edge! I love it so much!” 

“You’re welcome,” Edge mumbled back, covering her face a bit. 

“Awww~” everyone cooed, “Shut up. Or I’ll-”

“Oh! Here by the way!” 

“Hm?” Edge looks at Rabbid Yoshi. Rabbid Yoshi started to cough. Wait.. What?!?

“He’s coughing..!!—”

“No shit Sherlock.”

“What do we do?!”

“CALL A DOCTOR-”

“STAND BACK!!-” Rabbid Mario shouted, he wrapped his arms around Rabbid Yoshi from behind. His arms are under his armpits and trying to cough that ‘something out.’

Rabbid Yoshi spat out a small present. Cover in drool and a bit ripped from the corners.. 

“Ewwww..” said Rabbid Peach, her face scrunching up in disgust. 

“How? What?!” Edge mumbled, very confused about why there was a present in him. 

“Cool,” Rabbid Rosalina mumbled, didn’t even look impressed. 

“Oh thank you for helping me get that out!” said Rabbid Yoshi, giving him a lick on the cheek and removing himself from Rabbid Mario’s arms. Rabbid Mario stood there confused. “WHAT?!?”

Rabbid Yoshi pick up his gift and handed it to Spawny. “Here you go!”

Spawn look at the gift then to his friend. “It’s all sticky.. Plus, that was in your body..” he said, stepping back a bit. 

“Spawny! That’s rude!” Rabbid Daisy scolds the little Rabbid lightly. “It's literally covered in spit—!!! Oh, screw it.” Spawny grumbled, grabbing his present. His paws/hands felt the wrapping paper wet and drool on his paws/hands. “Ew..” He mumbled. As he opens it up he looks inside and sees a little Mushroom Plushy! He wipes the drool off of him and grabs the Mushroom Plushy gently. “Awww~! It’s so cute!~” Rabbid Daisy cooed at the plushy. “Thanks, Rabbid Yoshi it’s cute..!!!” said Spawny his eyes sparkling. He dropped the present and hugged his friend with one arm. Rabbid Yoshi's tail wags with joy. 

Rabbid Mario gave Rabbid Peach a new phone case, which was pink and had characters/flowers on it. Rabbid Peach smiled with joy and said a quiet ‘thank you’ to Rabbid Mario, giving him a small kiss on the cheek, when the others weren’t looking. Good thing he has dark fur otherwise the others would see Rabbid Mario’s blush. 

Then it was Rabbid Rosalina’s turn. She gave Edge Dragon daggers. Actually daggers. Edge was pleased but a little sad it wasn’t sharp enough. Enemies watch out. 

Next, it was Rabbid Daisy's turn who had her friend, Rabbid Yoshi a bread Plushy. Rabbid Daisy swear she almost saw hearts in his eyes. She thinks it might be a little mistake to give him that because he has been hissing at the others, who get close to him and his plushy. Oh well. At least he’s not biting-

“OW!? WHAT THE HECK DUDE?!-”

“*HISSSSSS* MY PRECIOUS,” he growled hissing at the person he just bit. 

Spoke too soon-

“We should do this again next year!” said Rabbid Luigi, hugging his snow globe close.

Yeah.. Next Year. 

‘Merry Christmas~!’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What the gifts look like: