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taevbears · 15 days ago

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To Be Loved - Holiday Special

As long as there's Christmas, I truly believe That hope is the greatest of gifts we'll receive

⤑ pairing: namjoon x reader ⤑ genre: hybrid au, romance, hurt/comfort ⤑ rating: 18+ ⤑ word count: 6.2k ⤑ warnings: slight angst, slight description of violence, miscommunication lmao, implied smut, mentions of everyone's favorite asshole (kangdae) ⤑ note: happy 2025! i hope BTS' reunion year has been treating you all well so far! i meant to post this last month, but lol. 2024 was ... a year for me. anyway, i miss this couple and i hope y'all enjoy this belated Christmas gift from me!

Masterlist

It’s a cold winter’s night.

Frosted windows show a picturesque snow-covered wonderland outside the old manor. White ice blankets the forest ground and evergreen treetops, freshly-fallen and undisrupted by the nocturnal wildlife. Beneath the silver glow of moonlight is a hushed silence and a serene stillness, as if time itself has frozen over to take in the captivating beauty of the night.

A shiver runs down your back, and you pull the blanket around your shoulders a little tighter around you. From the tall windows of the west wing, you’re gifted with breathtaking sights of quiet and gentle snowfall, sunsets that paint the skies hues of orange, red, and gold, and dark clouds that obscure the moonlight as night falls and storms roll in.

Seven months ago, you ran away from your abusive boyfriend and arrived at this old and desolated manor. Moss and vines grow upon the sturdy structure, and an overgrown yard lies beyond the iron gate that leads up to it. The floors creak loudly with your careful steps, the wallpaper is peeling and faded in your room, and the antique furniture is chipped and worn. Yet, you’ve quickly learned that this manor houses something very special.

Hybrids.

Creatures that are both human and animal, but are outcasted from your society and treated like second-hand citizens. Because they’re different. Because they’re not fully human. Because they’re partly beasts, they’re treated like monsters.

Ironically, while you were living in your small, provincial town, you felt just as outcasted. You’re pretty, therefore, you had to be Kangdae’s. He treated you like a doll to puppet around and break, and everyone told you how lucky you are. Because he was wealthy and handsome. Because you look good together. Because what more is there to love?

But Kangdae never loved you. And it took coming here, to this old manor, for you to realize that.

At first, you only intended to stay until the bad storm passes. But soon, the exotic hybrids living here started to get used to you. Over time, the old manor started to feel like home. And eventually, you started to realize what love is really like.

Your gaze lifts to above the treelines, and you feel like a child by the window, waiting to catch a glimpse of Santa and his sleigh. And as you muse the thought, you spot something in the sky – a flash of blue-silver.

Soon, a long shadow circles around the manor, and a celestial beast crawls into the exposed opening on the upper-corner of the room. Iridescent scales shimmer with the moonlight, covering his serpent-like body. Long, sharp talons land on the stone floor. Whiskers and beard are dusted with fresh snow. The indigo-colored eyes easily spot you staring up at him in awe.

Truly, he’s the most beautiful creature you’ve ever seen. You have to wonder why he’d ever think of himself anything less.

For half a year, the beast kept its identity a secret, masking his form and forbidding you from entering the west wing. Had you wandered here before, you would’ve found the gold and gems he secretly stuffed in his drawers, or would’ve caught him basking under the morning sun’s rays while he sleeps. You would've seen the traces of his violent anguish, from the scratches on the walls and holes on the floor, and he’d quietly admit it was often caused by trying to suppress this form.

Now, he has nothing to hide.

“Welcome home,” you say to the creature before you.

Then, on purpose, the beast wiggles and shakes off the wet snow from his scales.

“Ah, Namjoon!” you squeal, shutting your eyes and using your blanket to shield you from the drops of water. A playful chuckle follows, and in his human form, Namjoon wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you close.

“What are you doing here? You know you’re not allowed,” he reminds you, quirking an eyebrow. All traces of the beast you had seen before are gone in this form, save for the indigo hue in his eyes. “Jimin will be upset if you catch a cold again.”

The giant hole allows Namjoon to quickly enter and exit the manor in his other form, but it also allows the freezing air and snow to come in. It makes this particular area more dangerous than the rest of the manor, weathered and damaged by the elements. Even with a blanket wrapped around you, you’re still trembling.

“What can I say? I really wanted to see you,” you admit shyly.

It’s only been a month since the night you told Namjoon you loved him. Everything still feels so new – that feeling of love and being loved in return.

Despite the freezing temperatures and the slight dampness caught in his hair, he stands before you, unaffected and incredibly warm. He presses his forehead against yours, and his voice is low as he murmurs, “I came as soon as I could.”

You’re not sure who initiates the kiss first, but something about it just feels right. The feel of his thick lips against your own. The way his hand cups your face with a gentle firmness as he starts to walk you away from the windows and toward his bed. The heat of the kiss against the frost-bitten air makes you want more.

But then, an image of your ex-fiancé flashes in your mind. Just above where you stand is where Kangdae met his end. And even after his death, he still haunts you.

That split-second of him – drenched in the rain, eyes wild with fury, aiming his gun to you and Namjoon – causes you to step back and gasp.

For a moment, you and Namjoon stand steps away. His brow furrows with worry, and guilt starts to swallow you whole when you realize you’ve just ruined the moment.

“Are you cold?” Namjoon finally asks, breaking the silence. He picks up your blanket from the ground and drapes it around you again. You hadn’t noticed it slipped off your shoulders as he was kissing you. He smiles at you kindly, dimples forming on his cheeks. “Let’s get you somewhere warmer.”

You nod your head, unable to find your voice.

It doesn’t feel fair.

Namjoon is the one you want. He makes you feel so safe and happy, and you truly love him so much.

So why do Kangdae’s words still taunt you, making you feel like you don’t deserve to be loved at all?

“Careful, it’s dusty,” Hoseok warns, standing in front of a room that probably hasn’t been entered in years. Tiny specs float in the air as he pushes the door open, and the three of you peek into the dark room to find an old storage space.

Today, the three of you are tasked to clean out some of the unused rooms in the west wing. Your body aches from sweeping and scrubbing floors, wiping windows, and moving furniture around all day. But at least this is the last room you’re assigned to tackle.

Honestly, it’s also a welcomed distraction.

Last night, Namjoon slept in your room in the east wing. You kept apologizing for pushing him away, and even though he did nothing wrong, he said he was sorry for getting too carried away.

“You have nothing to apologize for, Namjoon,” you tell him, feeling even worse.

With incredible patience and attentiveness, Namjoon courted you for months: nightly dates, sticky notes in your books, and flowers by your bedside. He never pushed you into doing anything you were uncomfortable with. And it must’ve been because he knew you weren’t ready for a relationship so soon after what you’ve escaped from.

“Neither do you,” Namjoon replies. You see his pretty eyes briefly glance toward the door, as if debating whether he should stay here or return to the west wing.

“Come to bed, please,” you decide for him, gesturing at the empty spot beside you.

His face lights up as he pulls off his shirt and settles under the covers with you. Your hands have a mind of their own, touching the bulk of his muscles and feeling the warmth of his skin.

You feel lucky. You feel undeserving.

He sighs at your gentle caresses and closes his eyes. He looks content like this, being this close and enjoying your touch, breathing you in. He takes your wrist and kisses it before he snuggles closer to hold you.

It feels so nice to be held like this, to be safe and feel protected. Even now, you’re not quite used to it. Even now, when you know you should feel happy, you feel troubled.

You think he’s asleep. His breathing slows and his eyes remain closed.

And you can’t help but hate Kangdae all over again. For showing you his version of love so you’d think that it’s cruel and ugly. For being a monster that creeps in the shadows of the back of your mind long after he’s passed. For convincing you that a love as sweet and beautiful as Namjoon’s is only a fairytale.

For making you believe that happily ever afters don’t exist.

Namjoon deserves a mate that isn’t broken from their past like you. It’s a daunting thought that hangs over you – that even though he says you’re the one, you could still lose him somehow.

“I wish I wasn’t so afraid to love you.”

When you woke up that morning, Namjoon had already left. He’s been going into town often lately, so that isn’t unusual. Yet, the dread of being an unworthy mate continues to plague your mind as you fix breakfast with the hybrids and focus on the house chores you agreed to take on.

“Careful, Jungkook,” Hoseok begins, eyeing wearily as the bunny-hybrid picks up a large box. “Some of them are heavy.”

“It’s okay. I’m strong,” he assures him, pausing to wink at you. You smile, fondly recalling how he’d come to protect you since you two ran away together. As he moves around, he hears something jingling inside. “Huh? What’s even in these?”

Curious, you and Hoseok inch closer to Jungkook as he sets the box down. Something inside rattles, knocking together with every movement. You’re certain you hear tiny bells and glass as well. As Jungkook rips open the packaging tape and pulls it open, your head nearly collides with Hoseok’s antlers as the three of you gather around and peek inside.

Round glass painted in deep, holiday red.

“They’re Christmas ornaments!” you exclaim with a gasp. With everything that’s been happening, you’ve almost forgotten that the holidays are here.

Jungkook picks one of them up and examines it. “What’s Christmas?”

Your head whips away from the ornaments to stare at him. “You’re kidding!”

He brings the ornament to his nose to smell it. “I’m not.”

“It’s a big winter holiday,” you answer, wondering if it’d ring a bell. But both hybrids continue to blankly stare at you. “People usually spend it with their friends and family, exchanging gifts, singing carols all month, and decorating their homes with lights and a tree.”

“Ah. It’s a human celebration,” Hoseok realizes.

“Well, sure, but… you guys never celebrated it?” you ask with a frown. You imagine they’d have fun eating a big feast together, playing winter-themed party games, and opening each other’s presents.

But then, why would they?

As hybrids, some of their Christmases were locked up in a cage, freezing in the cold. Or trying to survive the harsh winter while running away from hunters trying to capture and sell them. Some are put to work, gifted away like toys, or treated like spectacles at a fancy party. At best, it’s another day, though relatively quiet with humans going out of town to be with their loved ones.

“I’ve never celebrated Christmas before,” Jungkook admits.

“Me neither,” Hoseok says, sweeping the floor again. “I don’t think any of us ever had a proper Christmas before.”

An idea strikes you just then. The two hybrids watch as you open another box. Then, another. You’re delighted to see that they’re all Christmas decorations.

“Well,” you decide with a smile, carrying one of them out of the room. “That’s going to change this year.”

“What’s all this?” Yoongi asks from behind you, watching as you carefully wrap garland around the stair rail.

“Christmas,” Jimin answers on your behalf as he hangs eight stockings over the fireplace.

When you, Hoseok, and Jungkook pulled out boxes of decorations from the storage room, it caught the attention of the other hybrids. Soon, you have Seokjin and Taehyung bickering about where to put the giant tree they found, Hoseok trying not to get his antlers tangled with tinsel and garland, Jungkook playing with the nutcrackers, and Jimin helping you decorate.

“Do you want to help?” you ask the leopard-hybrid. You glance at one of the boxes and suggest, “You can put up the wreaths on the doors.”

He picks one up and tilts his head, his ears flickering a bit. “Does Namjoon know we’re doing this?”

You pause what you’re doing, eyes widening with a mild panic. “Would Namjoon have a problem with this?”

“Not when it’s your suggestion,” Jimin replies, his feathers bristling with pride as he steps back to admire his work. “You’re his mate.”

“Either way, it’s a nice change of scenery,” Seokjin adds as he and Taehyung finally agree on a spot for the tree.

Your smile fades a bit. The insecurity that you’ve tried to keep at bay rises again. “I don’t know if I’m a good mate for him.”

Your voice is so quiet, you didn’t think they’d hear you. But all six of them whip their heads toward you, appalled.

“WHAT?” Taehyung shouts so loud, he startles you.

“Why would you say that? Did Namjoon say something to you?” Seokjin sputters, looking ready to scold the younger hybrid, despite Namjoon being the leader of their pack.

“No, it’s not that. He’s been so good to me. You all have,” you assure them. Seven months ago, the hybrids residing at the manor treated you like an outsider – a threat lingering in their territory. Things are completely different now that they consider you a friend.

“Then what’s wrong?” Yoongi gently asks.

“Kangdae,” you answer, and you practically feel the hostility in the air at the mere mention of his name. “I’ve been with him for so long, I don’t think I know how to love.”

To love and to be loved in return. It’s still so foreign to you.

“These days, Namjoon is the happiest I’ve ever seen him,” Jimin mentions. He takes the garland from you and starts to finish the rest, weaving it around the railing. “Even though he knows you’re his mate, he didn’t think you’d accept him. He always worried that he’d scare you off. That once you saw what kind of hybrid he is, you’d only see him as a monster.”

“I never thought of him as a monster.”

“I know you don’t, but Namjoon still worries about that sometimes. You’re human. You don’t feel that pull toward your mate like hybrids do when they find each other. You don’t feel that same certainty Namjoon felt the moment he first saw you.” Jimin looks in your eyes as he adds, “But that doesn’t make you a bad mate.”

“You’re meant to be loved,” Taehyung tells you, pulling you into a bear hug as you wipe your tears away. “And Namjoon is meant to be loved by you, too. Sometimes, the both of you need a reminder of that.”

Christmas is your favorite holiday.

As a child, you and your siblings would wake up your parents on Christmas morning with the joy of seeing presents from Santa under the tree. You’d spend the night before baking cookies and watching feel-good movies, and sometimes your father would take you all out to play in the snow and skate on the frozen lake.

Even as you grew older, you still enjoyed wrapping presents, decorating the tree, and humming your favorite Christmas songs as you cooked and cleaned. Even during the long, bleak years you’ve spent with Kangdae, you always looked forward to the time of year where everything is a little more joyful and merrier.

All day, you and the hybrids have been busy decorating the whole manor. Red and green are adorn in every corner, from the stockings neatly lined up on the mantle to the garlands of pine and holly hanging over arches and wrapped around stair rails. The tree that Seokjin and Taehyung brought in is heavily decorated with shimmering ornaments and ribbons, and on the top of the tree is a glimmering star that shines above the balls and lights. The wreaths that Yoongi hung up are placed on the doorways, and the nutcrackers that Jungkook grabbed are displayed on the shelves.

You step back in admiration, proud of what you’ve all accomplished. “Good job, everyone! The manor looks beautiful.”

An old grandfather clock tolls in the hour.

Seokjin looks over at Yoongi. “We should get started on dinner.”

“Yeah, it’s already late,” Yoongi agrees as the two begin to head toward the kitchen. Jungkook offers to help, trailing after the two.

“We’re going to check on the garden,” Hoseok informs as he, Jimin, and Taehyung plan to leave together as well. “Namjoon should be at his study.”

You look surprised. “Namjoon is home?”

Usually, he’d greet you as soon as he came back from his trips. But you don’t think much of it as you thank Hoseok and make your way toward the west wing.

Sure enough, you find him in his study. A fireplace is lit, cackling softly with a warm and inviting glow. The flicker of flames makes the shadows of the room dance, and Namjoon sits on a velvet chair by the fire, staring at the hearth. On an end table beside him is a tray with a container of whiskey and a half-filled glass.

Another memory flashes in your mind. Anger and alcohol, glass shattering by your head, and Kangdae storming away for the night while you cried. It scared you whenever Kangdae drank, but you don’t feel nervous at all when Namjoon does.

“Hey, when did you come back?” you ask, closing the door behind you.

“Not long,” he answers without looking at you. He seems sad.

You watch as he grabs the glass and finishes it in one go. “Did something happen?”

Before you could step closer, he suddenly stands. The clink of the glass on the tray fills the tense silence. Despite the glow of the fire, you catch the tinge of redness in his cheeks, and a glimpse of his watery eyes.

You close the distance, touching his face and asking what’s wrong. Rather than answering, he wraps his arm around you and pulls you to his chest. You feel him breathe you in, as if having you in his arms helps him calm down and eases his worries.

Then, after a while, he states, “You’re not scared.”

“I’m not,” you confirm, a little confused why he thinks you would be. “I never am when I’m with you.”

The memories of all that you’ve been through linger in the back of your mind, but being in Namjoon’s arms now, feeling safe and protected, feeling warm and loved – it reminds you that this is what love is supposed to feel like.

You are meant to be loved.

He doesn’t say anything for a while again. He simply rests his chin on top of your head, and just as you were about to speak, he suddenly asks, “Do you want to spend the evening with me?”

You lift your head to look at him. “Of course I do. Always.”

He smiles a little. Just enough that the dimples you love form on his cheeks. “Okay. Get ready and wear something warm.”

“Something warm?”

“I want to take you on a real date this time.”

It’s been months since you’ve been to a town, surrounded by other humans who are enjoying their night.

Fried food, grilled meat, and fresh pastries linger from the market stalls, all decorated for the festivities as sellers are busy handing treats shaped like snowmen and reindeer or seasonal spiced drinks. A live band performs Christmas tunes on a stage. Little shops with trinkets and homemade ornaments and accessories pitch their products as the perfect gifts for the year. In the center is a huge Christmas tree, its branches heavy with silver and gold ornaments, red ribbons, and colorful fairy lights.

“Wow…” You marvel at the sights and sounds before you, a bit winded after Namjoon flew you here in his other form.

Namjoon glances at the look on your face and smiles to himself before pushing up a thick pair of sunglasses over his indigo eyes. With them, he blends in like any other human. Even if it is a bit odd for him to wear those glasses at this time of night.

Excited, you take his hand and he lets you lead him to whatever catches your attention. The two of you stop by every open stall, admiring the trinkets, sampling food, and buying small gifts you’d think the other hybrids would like. You pick out some clothes at a thrift shop for yourself and the hybrids, and you’re genuinely impressed with every outfit Namjoon tries on and shows off to you. At a convenience store, Namjoon helps you carry a bag full of ramen, pastries, and snacks you hadn't realized you missed until you saw them. And as the night gets later and the air grows colder, the two of you end up at a table in a small, crowded restaurant.

“This was really fun, Namjoon,” you state, scooping a spoonful of dessert as you admire your haul. “Thank you for bringing me here.”

Namjoon reaches across the table to hold your hand. “I’m glad. We can come here more often if you’d like. No one is looking for you anymore.”

You glance around the lively restaurant. TV monitors are showing Christmas specials instead of missing person reports. Families with small children, couples on a date, and friends making toasts and exchanging gifts are sitting on the tables around you. To them, you and Namjoon are just any other couple enjoying their night.

It’s a kind of freedom you’ve never really thought about.

Before you met Kangdae, you were nobody. Just a quiet girl that loved to hide away from the world and read her books. People found you odd for that. You never quite fit in with the rest of the people in town.

Dating a man like Kangdae placed you on everyone’s radar. He was handsome, popular, and wealthy – a monster disguised as a prince. Although he only sought you out because you’re beautiful, he kept you around because together, you were something. A spectacle. A power couple meant to inherit the wealth and influence his parents had over the town. It didn’t matter what he did behind closed doors, as long as he’s seen as a doting boyfriend in the eyes of the public. As long as you did your part and pretended to be happy.

Now, Kangdae is gone. He can’t hurt you anymore. He isn’t trying to look for you and drag you back to that miserable life. Without him, you’re nobody again. You’re free.

That’s the greatest gift you could ever ask for.

“Could we?” you ask, hopeful.

Already, you’re thinking of so many possibilities. Museum dates where he’d excitedly ramble about his favorite art pieces. Tiny concert halls where singers perform to a small, intimate crowd, and you and Namjoon are part of the audience. Coffee shops and bookstores, and cakes that are too cute and pretty to eat.

“Of course,” he replies, stroking the back of your hand with his thumb. It’s hard to read his face when he adds, “I want you to be happy.”

“I am happy.”

Behind his sunglasses, you can feel his stare. “I don’t scare you?”

You frown, wondering where this is coming from. Again, you confirm, “You never scared me, Namjoon.”

“I want to believe you.”

But he doesn’t.

He always worried that he’d scare you off. That once you saw what kind of hybrid he is, you’d only see him as a monster.

Did something happen? Did you do something to upset him earlier? Was that why he seemed so sad when you greeted him at his study?

“Namjoon, what—?”

“Would you like me to bring anything else?” a waitress interrupts, eyeing on the finished plates and drinks on your table.

“No,” Namjoon tells her, giving her a polite smile as he takes out his wallet to pay for the meal. “That’s all.”

The hybrids are still awake when you and Namjoon arrive back at the manor. You barely step inside before strong arms engulf you in a hug.

“Welcome home!” Jungkook greets you.

Jimin smirks as he looks between you and Namjoon. “How was your date?”

Taehyung grabs a bag of snacks you got for them and peers inside. “What’s all this?”

“Give them some space, guys,” Seokjin lightly scolds them, shooing the youngest hybrids away from the door.

“Whoa, you brought a lot of stuff!” Hoseok exclaims as Namjoon helps you carry in your bags.

“Most of them are for you guys,” Namjoon explains, moving them away before Hoseok could take them.

“For us?” Yoongi questions, turning his attention to you. “What for?”

“It’s Christmas,” you remind them, letting Jungkook go so you could help bring your gifts upstairs.

Taehyung frowns. “But we didn’t get you anything.”

“That’s not the point,” you assure them, seeing their pinned ears and pouty lips. “It’s about being kind to each other. To celebrate the end of a long year together. To make your loved ones happy.”

You look at Namjoon then, but he’s already walking up the stairs.

He makes you so happy. You’re afraid of messing things up.

Part of you feels like, somehow, you already have.

It’s nearly midnight when you walk the empty halls of the east wing and head straight to the west side. You had a full day cleaning, decorating, and going on that date in town with Namjoon. You’ll have another full day wrapping presents, preparing party games and activities, and cooking a full feast.

Then, it’ll be Christmas.

But the further you get to the west wing, the louder you hear it. The howls of the wind. The growls of a beast.

Namjoon is in his other form when you open the door to the master bedroom. He looks like he’s about to take off for the night, facing the opening in the corner of the room.

“You’re leaving?”

Caught off guard, his eyes widen and he stops himself from jumping through the exposed ceiling. He backs away from where the moonlight touches, sinking into the shadows to hide. But then, as if reminding himself that he no longer has to hide from you, he reluctantly steps back under the silver glow of moonlight.

Despite how intimidating he looks, the beast within him is nervous around you.

It makes your heart drop.

“It’s okay. Come here.”

You step closer to the beast as well, petting his snout and admiring the way his scales shine under the light. He watches you carefully, ready to back off at the slightest hint of fear or discomfort.

But you’re calm. Dare to say, even affectionate.

He closes his eyes and sighs. Even in this form, he seems content with your touch, of being this close to you. Your laugh breaks the silence when he nudges your hand for more.

“I’m sorry if I made you sad, Namjoon,” you tell him after a while. “I worry all the time that I’m not a good mate to you.”

His eyes fly open as something connects for him. Namjoon is back in his human form, but the surprise doesn’t leave his face. “Is that what you meant when you said you were afraid to love me?”

And suddenly, his distant behavior makes sense. All this time, he thought you were afraid of him. That his worst fear has come, and you’d refuse to be with him.

“The only thing I’m afraid of is that I can’t make you happy, Namjoon.”

“Impossible,” Namjoon says as his hand cups your face. “To be loved by you is the greatest gift I could ever ask for.”

It’s a cold winter’s day, but in the western wing of the old manor, you’re incredibly warm.

Sunlight peers through the tall windows and the exposed ceiling. The crisp air bites your skin as you stretch and yawn, arms popping from the layers of blankets over you. A chuckle catches your attention, and you turn to see Namjoon is already awake. There’s a soft expression on his face as he lies next to you, forlorn with a dimpled smile and so much love in his beautiful eyes.

“Good morning,” he greets you, his voice low and sleepy.

“Morning,” you whisper back, smiling as he leans down to kiss you. It feels nice. Reassuring. “How long have you been awake?”

“Not long. You’re beautiful even when you’re sleeping,” he tells you, distracted as his head lowers to kiss your neck, your collarbone, the top of your breasts. The blankets that he put over you last night slip around your bare body, unwrapping you like a present. His voice, somehow, becomes huskier as he adds, “I’m so lucky.”

“I’m the lucky one,” you easily reply, shivering with pleasure at the contrast between the heat of your mate’s body and the cold, winter morning. With the anticipation of continuing where you left off last night, where, for once, loving felt easy. With Namjoon trailing kisses down your body and, with a dimpled smile, promising to warm you up.

And even if Kangdae’s voice still lingers in the back of your mind, claiming that you don’t deserve to be this happy, Namjoon quells it to a faint whisper.

Because with Namjoon, you’ll always be loved.

“You didn’t come to your room last night,” Yoongi observes, sipping on a cup of coffee.

Your face heats up a bit. “I didn’t know you were keeping tabs on me.”

“You’re human, but you’re one of us,” Seokjin casually explains as he places mugs of hot chocolate in front of you and Jungkook. “It’s in our instincts to look out for our pack.”

“Plus, you have Namjoon’s scent all over—”

“Enough,” Namjoon cuts in, perhaps just as flustered as you are. Yoongi just smirks and takes another sip of his coffee.

“I’m glad you two talked things out,” Jimin pushes anyway, grabbing a pastry that you got for them from the town. He throws a wink at you, black feathers bristling with pride.

The bear-hybrid nods his head. “Yeah, I was worried Namjoon would never—”

“Taehyung!” Hoseok interrupts, not-so subtly gesturing at your hand.

You hold it up, confused. You don’t see anything wrong with your hands. Jungkook takes your hand and examines it, also wondering what they mean. But chaos already erupted as the other hybrids yell over each other while, across from you, Namjoon lets out a long, heavy sigh.

Christmas is your favorite holiday, and on a cold, winter’s day, you celebrate it with the hybrids at the old manor. The decorations and the tree bring in the festive spirit as you hand them the gifts you wrapped: clothes, snacks, board games, vinyls, and other things you thought they’d like. A feast of meat, stews, poultry, roasted vegetables, and dessert were served. Games were played by the warmth of the fireplace and outside in the snow. And while the hybrids take turns singing karaoke in the game room, Namjoon takes your hand and pulls you away from everyone.

“Close your eyes,” he directs with a nervous smile.

“What’s going on?” you ask, closing your eyes anyway. It feels a bit reminiscent of your first date with him, and he guides you to where he wants to take you. Your footsteps echo around the empty halls as rooms, as the voices of the other hybrids grow fainter.

It’s just you and Namjoon.

“You know,” he begins, opening a door and helping you down the small steps. “I’ve been picking up some shifts around the towns, and saving up some money.”

“It’s that why you’ve been so busy lately?”

“Yes, but I think it’ll be worth it,” he says, stopping you when the two of you reach your destination. You don’t need to open your eyes to know that you’re in his garden. The floral fragrance fills the air the moment you step inside the greenhouse. “I got you a present too.”

“You did?”

“It’s not much, but I redid this place for tonight,” he continues, moving behind you and allowing you to open your eyes.

When you do, you’re met with the full bloom of winter flowers and the soft, gentle glow of fairy lights that rival the twinkling stars in the night sky. Frosty windows and snow-covered grounds indicate the freezing temperature outside, but in here – inside the greenhouse – it’s warm. And the iridescent petals of the smeraldo flowers catch your attention. Between the strings of light and the moon, they reflect a magical shine.

Namjoon told you once that they mean “the truth untold.”

But now, there’s nothing to hide.

You turn to face Namjoon, meaning to tell him how his flowers have grown so beautifully. Or how adding the lights is such a nice touch to his little sanctuary.

But the words are lost to you when you turn around and see the look on his face. The gentle admiration in his eyes as he leans against a table.

“What is it?” you ask shyly.

“I was just thinking… Well, actually, I’ve thought about this for a while,” he begins to nervously babble. “I never thought we’d see each other again after you helped me on that stage all those years ago. I thought I lost you for good when you left the manor before I could tell you how much you mean to me. Even now, I wonder if staying at the manor is enough to keep you with me. If five, ten, twenty years from now, you’ll still be at my side.”

“I think I would,” you answer with such certainty. “To be loved by you is the greatest gift I could ever ask for as well.”

“Is that a promise?”

You watch as Namjoon gets off the table and slowly goes down on one knee. In his hand is a velvet box, carrying a ring – simple, pretty. How long has Namjoon been looking for work to save up for this? How long has he kept it with him, waiting for the right moment to finally ask you?

“I love you,” he continues, “and if you’ll have me, will you marry–”

You kiss him before he has a chance to finish his question.

“Oh, Taehyung, this is a perfect view!” you exclaim, smiling at the bear-hybrid. He swipes at his nose and shrugs, but it’s obvious on his face that he’s proud of the spot he found.

The eight of you are settled around a small campfire on the outskirts of a lively town. Seokjin and Jungkook disappear briefly to gather more wood for the fire – their bickering and teasing still within ear-shot to let you know they haven’t wandered too far. Yoongi immediately claims one of the foldable chairs and pours a bottle of cheap wine in a plastic glass. Taehyung sits on the cooler next to him, making a face of disgust when Yoongi lets him take a sip of his drink. Jimin neatly lays out the food on the picnic blanket, and Hoseok snaps pictures on a polaroid camera and shakes the film that prints out.

It’s the last day of the year. And within a few hours, a new day will begin.

You cozy up with Namjoon by the fire, captivated by the way the flames dance before you. It’s warm light catches the diamond on your engagement ring, and for maybe the hundredth time this week, you hold out your hand to admire it.

“I love you,” Namjoon whispers, kissing your temple. You whole-heartedly accepted him for what he is, and see all the good in him on days he only sees the ugly. You make his days feel less lonely, sharing your love for books, art, and nature with him. You take care of his pack; you brought Christmas to them. You stood up for him when he still called himself Rap Monster. How could he not fall in love with you?

“I love you, too. Always,” you reply, turning to kiss him. The way his lips feel against yours just feels right. Perfect.

Christmas is over, and after staying up with the hybrids by the warmth of the fire, you see the lively town below shooting fireworks to ring in the new year.

You and the hybrids toast and cheer, and grab each other for tight hugs and well wishes. The past year, you’ve rescued Jungkook, ran away from Kangdae, and started living with the others. Last year, you told Namjoon that you loved him, and the ring on your finger symbolizes that he loves you as well – that he’ll promise to protect and cherish you.

And as you find yourself back in Namjoon’s arms, sharing your first kiss with him for the year, you can’t help but feel like this is it.

This is what love is really like.

This is your happily ever after.

Thank you for reading ♡ Comments & reviews are greatly appreciated!

#to be loved #namjoon x reader #bts namjoon x reader #namjoon x you #bts namjoon x you #bts fic #hybrid fic #bts hybrid fic #hybrid namjoon x you #hybrid namjoon #bts rm x reader #rm x you #bts christmas #hybrid namjoon x reader #namjoon fic #namjoon smut

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minisugakoobies · 1 year ago

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BTS Holiday Fics

Tis the season… to reblog all of my holiday fics since I don't have any new ones this year 🙈 Thought it'd be better to put them all into one list rather than rb one by one. Happy holidays! 🎁

❄️ = fluff, 🍾 = smut

Kim Namjoon:

Christmas Confession - ❄️ 🍾, 2.9k - You’re Namjoon’s Secret Santa and you’ve got the perfect gift.

Happy Accidents - ❄️, 2.2k - Sometimes your clumsiness leads to a happy accident.

Kim Seokjin:

All I Don't Want for Christmas is You! - ❄️ 🍾, 23.7k - The holidays are here! But instead of celebrating, you’re trapped in a town called Christmas with your office nemesis, Seokjin Motherfucking Kim, and an unruly band of clients. Can you survive the trip and secure the promotion your boss has promised? Or will Jin take you down?

Min Yoongi:

I Wanna Hold Your Hand - ❄️, 1.4k - It’s hand-holding season, according to your roommate.

Party Vibes - 🍾, 5.8k - Yoongi’s hoping you can keep him entertained at this year’s office holiday party

Jung Hoseok:

After the Party - ❄️ 🍾, >1k - After the party, Hoseok’s not done celebrating you.

Third Time's the Charm - ❄️, 2.1k - After two close encounters with your brother’s best friend, Hoseok, you decide the third time’s the charm.

Park Jimin: see the 12 Lays of Kinkmas below

Kim Taehyung:

Next Christmas - ❄️, 1.1k - Taehyung’s trying to help you get ready for this Christmas, but you’re already thinking of the next.

Jeon Jungkook:

Mugs & Kisses - ❄️, 6k - Jungkook has something he’d like to tell you, but he can’t find the words. So he’s thought of another way.

New Year, New You - ❄️ 🍾, 1.8k - New year, new you. Except here you are, minutes after midnight, already falling back into old habits. You just can’t resist.

Multiple/OT7:

Teamwork - MYG, KTH - 🍾, 1.7k - It’s supposed to be a New Year’s Eve party, but your friends have turned it into an eligible bachelor contest. What are you supposed to do when you’re caught between two men?

12 Lays of Kinkmas - ❄️ 🍾 - 12 fics written based on individual smut prompts (each fic has its own pairings, genres, ratings, summaries & warnings)

Happy Hour - Hyung line - 🍾 (suggestive), 2.9k - You’re home for the holidays, hungover as fuck, and can’t remember what you did last night. Luckily, your little brother Jungkook and his friends Taehyung and Jimin are all too happy to remind you!

Happy Hour 2: The Hyungs Strike Back - Hyung line - 🍾 (suggestive), 4.4k - While back home for another holiday, your brother Jungkook and his friends convince you to go late night bowling with them. Surely this won’t end as badly as the last time you went out, right?

Main Masterlist

#bts smut #bts fluff #bts fanfic #bts x reader #jungkook smut #taehyung smut #jimin smut #hoseok smut #namjoon smut #seokjin smut

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lilacmingi · 1 year ago

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MASTERLIST 🦇

ALL WORKS ARE 14+ ONLY! PLEASE DO NOT READ OR INTERACT IF YOU’RE UNDER 14. NO SPAM-LIKING PLS

☆ HONGJOONG

The Goat | Hongjoong x fem reader, Mingi x fem reader Outlaw AU

Secret Santa | Fashion designer!Hongjoong x fashion designer!fem reader

Runaway | Pirate!Hongjoong x pirate!fem reader

Polyjuice Potion | Ravenclaw!Hongjoong x Ravenclaw!fem reader Hogwarts AU

A Quest for Love | Half-orc!Hongjoong x Elf!fem reader D&D/fantasy AU

Hades | Hades!Hongjoong x fem reader Disney Villains AU

☆ SEONGHWA

Scrooge | Grumpy Seonghwa x Christmas enthusiast!fem reader

Nights Like These | Seonghwa x fem reader drabble

Streets of Night City | Seonghwa x fem reader, Yeosang x fem reader Outlaw AU

Captive | Pirate!Seonghwa x fem reader

Stargazing | Hufflepuff!Seonghwa x Gryffindor!fem reader Hogwarts AU

Maleficent | Maleficent!Seonghwa x Princess!fem reader Disney Villains AU

Towards The Light | Sith!Seonghwa x Jedi!fem reader Star Wars AU

☆ YUNHO

Snowman | Snowman!Yunho x fem reader

Pillaged | Pirate!Yunho x barkeep!fem reader

Outlaw Customs | Yunho x fem reader, Jongho x fem reader Outlaw AU

Home for the Holidays | Hufflepuff!Yunho x Hufflepuff!fem reader Hogwarts AU

Captain Hook | Captain Hook!Yunho x fem!reader Disney Villains AU

Second Chances | Best friend!Yunho x fem reader

☆ YEOSANG

A Christmas Wish | Cheer elf!Yeosang x fem reader

Streets of Night City | Seonghwa x fem reader, Yeosang x fem reader Outlaw AU

My Treasure | Pirate!Yeosang x Princess!fem reader

Trading Cards & Chocolate Frogs | Ravenclaw!Yeosang x Ravenclaw!fem reader Hogwarts AU

Evil Queen | Evil Queen!Yeosang x fem reader Disney Villains AU

☆ SAN

Playtime | Moondrop!San & Sundrop!Wooyoung x fem reader FNAF AU

Mall Elf | Mall employee!San x mall elf!fem reader

My Gem | Pirate!San x pirate!fem reader

The Boxing Ring | San x fem reader, Wooyoung x fem reader Outlaw AU

Quidditch Championship | Slytherin!San x Slytherin!fem reader Hogwarts AU

Cruella de Vil | Cruella!San x boutique owner!fem reader Disney Villains AU

☆ MINGI

The Goat | Hongjoong x fem reader, Mingi x fem reader Outlaw AU

Elf in Training | Elf!Mingi x elf!fem reader

Beached | Pirate!Mingi x Siren!fem reader

Niffler Nabbing | Slytherin!Mingi x Hufflepuff!fem reader Hogwarts AU

Dr. Facilier | Dr. Facilier!Mingi x fem reader Disney Villains AU

☆ WOOYOUNG

Playtime | Moondrop!San & Sundrop!Wooyoung x fem reader FNAF AU

The Boxing Ring | San x fem reader, Wooyoung x fem reader Outlaw AU

Rosy | Elf!Wooyoung x Elf!fem reader

The Hourglass | Pirate!Guerilla!Wooyoung x fem reader

Forbidden Forest | Slytherin!Wooyoung x Gryffindor!fem reader Hogwarts AU

Hyena | Hyena hybrid!Wooyoung x fem reader Disney Villains AU

☆ JONGHO

Grinch AU | Grinch!Jongho x Martha May Whovier!fem reader

Outlaw Customs | Yunho x fem reader, Jongho x fem reader Outlaw AU

Stowaway | Pirate!Jongho x stowaway!fem reader

Opposites Attract | Gryffindor!Jongho x Slytherin!fem reader Hogwarts AU

Gaston | Gaston!Jongho x librarian!fem reader Disney Villains AU

Ornament Odyssey | Santa!Jongho x fem reader [NEW]

☆ OT8

Living with 8 Vampires | Vampire!ATEEZ x fem reader

⤷ Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 [this series is my baby and I want it to be perfect so I take my time writing each part. Part 2 literally took me over a year to finish oof. Hopefully the next parts don’t take that long but regardless, pls be patient with me]

When You’re On Your Period | ATEEZ x fem reader

☆ JUNGKOOK

Through Thick and Thin | Vampire!Jungkook x human!fem reader

☆ JIMIN

Change of Heart | Vampire!Jimin x human!fem reader

☆ YOONGI

Flowers In Your Hair | Yoongi x fem reader drabble

Not So Bad | Vampire!Yoongi x human!fem reader

☆ TAEHYUNG

Lost Control | Vampire!Taehyung x human!fem reader

☆ NAMJOON

Blood Bags | Vampire!Namjoon x human!fem reader

☆ HOSEOK

Different | Vampire!Hoseok x Vampire Hunter!fem reader

☆ JIN

The Invite | Vampire!Jin x human!fem reader

☆ OT7

Alice in Wonderland AU | BTS x fem reader

☆ CHAN

Houseguest | Vampire!Chan & Vampire!Hyunjin x fem reader

Cherry Chapstick | Chan x fem reader drabble

Full Moon | Werewolf!Chan x Vampire!fem reader

☆ CHANGBIN

Pool Hall | Changbin x fem reader

Irresistible | Changbin x fem reader drabble

Fuzzy Socks | Changbin x fem reader drabble

Late Night Ramen | Changbin x fem reader drabble

☆ HYUNJIN

Houseguest | Vampire!Chan & Vampire!Hyunjin x fem reader

My Muse | Hyunjin x fem reader drabble

Bound To You | Shinigami!Hyunjin x human!fem reader Death Note AU

☆ JISUNG

Stupid Cupid | Cupid!Jisung x fem reader

☆ GUNIL

Drum Lessons | Gunil x fem reader

☆ HYEONGJUN/JUNHAN

Bunny Ears | Hyeongjun x fem reader drabble

☆ JOOYEON

Practice Room Kisses | Jooyeon x fem reader drabble

Updated: 1/16/2025 [NEW: Hyeongjun - Bunny Ears]

These works are my own ideas. DO NOT steal, copy, repost, alter, or translate my works in any way! All forms of plagiarism are PROHIBITED and will not be tolerated

#masterlist #navigation #lilacmingi #stray kids imagines #ateez imagines #xdinary heroes imagines #bts imagines #kpop imagines #lilacmingi masterlist

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luvismenu · 1 month ago

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Promise You - JJK ,, Christmas Special !!

note: little surprise at the end hehe

series taglist: @daisies-and-dandelionpuffs @jkvamp @vrsltz @jaytheatiny

permanent taglist: @internetrando64 @jkvias @lovieku @deluluisdasolulu @ddanasjk @onlyforyoukook @diamondjeon @nnybtitts08 @lil0u0 @butnotmontana @fr0ggieth1nk @minimoninini @whoa-jo @lola75111 @iswearimover5feetall @rispwr @genevieveeeee

@134340-kr @mar-lo-pap @fluttershypoo @kyuupii @https-mei @elinaki92 @jungkookmyoneandonlybaby @hoseokteardrop @winterbeartaehyungbestboy @jaykay-world @jmscaffeine @libra04 @beigerin @nikidream24 @svnbangtansworld @mimi1097 @kookoo-kachoo @junecat18 @iheartchanelle

it’s christmas.

who doesn’t like christmas?

probably jin, because he seems to have some weird 'beef with santa'.

you watch as jin and jimin argue across the room. jin’s going on about how santa is just for kids, and jimin’s arguing back, saying, “so what? i’m a kid at heart!”

their bickering is loud enough to make everyone laugh a little.

“merry christmas, ___,” a warm voice pulls your focus away from the spectacle. you see namjoon approaching, a soft smile on his face.

you smile immediately. “namjoon! merry christmas.” you give him a quick hug.

“sorry i’m late,” he says, pulling back.

“don’t worry,” you wave it off. “we just got started anyway.”

the room feels warm and lively, filled with laughter and 'jingle bell rock' playing in the background— which was taehyung's choice ofcourse.

he smiles at you, “where is—”

before he can finish, a loud popping sound makes both of you turn your heads.

across the room, you see taehyung holding a christmas popper in his hands, looking half guilty and half amused. colorful bits of paper rain down around him, scattering all over the room like festive confetti.

“oops?” he says with a sheepish grin, earning a round of laughter from everyone including you.

“taehyung, seriously?” hoseok groans, though there’s no real anger in his voice. “you wasted one already? it’s too early for this!”

taehyung just shrugs with a wide grin, completely unapologetic, while hoseok continues scolding him.

namjoon shakes his head, chuckling before heading over to join the group, easily slipping into their conversation and laughter.

you stay where you are, watching the scene unfold. it’s a little chaotic but in the best way possible, the kind of chaos that makes your heart feel full. the room glows with christmas lights strung along the walls, and the fireplace crackles gently, adding warmth to the cozy atmosphere. the tree stands tall in the corner, ornaments sparkling against the soft glow of the string lights wrapped around it. the scent of treats; cookies, peppermint, maybe even hot chocolate lingers in the air, blending perfectly with the laughter and chatter of your friends.

everyone’s dressed in comfy sweaters, all in shades of red and white, giving the room a festive glow. it makes the whole scene feel even more special— like a celebration straight out of a holiday movie.

and well,, it is a special occasion.

it all feels perfect, like a moment you want to live in forever.

your thoughts are interrupted by the feeling of strong arms wrapping around your waist from behind. you don’t even have to look to know who it is. you immediately relax against him as he pulls you closer, his breath warm against your neck.

he nuzzles into the curve of your neck, his voice low and soft as he whispers, “merry christmas, love.”

a small smile tugs at your lips as your hand moves up to his hair, fingers threading through the soft strands. you stroke his hair gently, a quiet moment between the two of you amidst the lively chaos around.

“merry christmas, kook,” you murmur, your voice just as soft.

for a second, it feels like it’s just the two of you in the room, wrapped in your own little bubble of warmth and love.

“geez, can you two not make love in front of us?” taehyung groans, rolling his eyes dramatically. his comment makes you chuckle, and you feel jungkook smile against your skin.

“yeah, ever since you two got married, you’re extra touchy,” jin chimes in, his mouth half-full of a cookie. the others nod in agreement, you can see the teasing grins on their faces.

it’s true, you and jungkook are married now. after a year of dating, he surprised you by popping the question and you’d said yes without hesitation. the memory of that moment still makes your heart flutter.

marrying him was the best decision you’ve ever made. it’s been nine months since your wedding, and every day feels like a dream. life with him has been nothing short of perfect.

well… almost perfect.

there is something you’ve both been waiting for.

something more..

jungkook’s voice breaks through your thoughts. “if it bothers you that much, maybe you shouldn’t be here waiting to eat the cake and food ___ spent all day preparing for you,” he shoots back, his tone playful but with just enough edge to make jin roll his eyes.

lifting his head from your shoulder, he presses a soft kiss to your skin before letting his hands rest gently on your stomach. the small, tender gesture feels like a secret between the two of you, and your heart swells at the thought of what’s to come.

“everything looks amazing, you guys worked hard,” yoongi chimes in, his tone warm and genuine.

“credits to my beautiful wife, my bb,” jungkook says, grinning proudly, making you chuckle.

“and thanks to my handsome husband for handling most of the decorations,” you reply, shooting him a playful smile.

taehyung groans dramatically, throwing his hands in the air. “oh my god, it’s like watching those high school couples. we get it! you both love each other.”

everyone bursts into laughter, and jungkook, ever quick with a comeback, smirks. “damn right we do.”

the room fills with lighthearted teasing and laughter, the kind of warmth that only close friends and family can bring.

. . .

“alright, guys, time for the cake!” jungkook announces, his voice loud enough to grab everyone’s attention. one by one, everyone settles into their seats on the couches, the chatter quieting down. you smile at jungkook, who beams back at you.

“who’s gonna do the honors?” namjoon asks, looking around the room as everyone exchanges glances.

“___ and jungkook?” yoongi suggests, tilting his head towards the two of you. all eyes turn your way.

you share a look with jungkook before smiling. “well, this is for everyone, so... how about we all do it together?”

jungkook nods in agreement, and the idea is met with smiles and enthusiastic nods.

“sounds good,” namjoon says,

you and jungkook hold the knife together, and one by one, everyone places their hands on top of yours. it’s a little crowded and awkward, making everyone laugh as you try to maneuver.

the knife finally slices through the cake, cheers and claps filling the room as pieces are cut and shared. the aroma of the cake mingles with the festive warmth of the room. everyone grabs their plates, helping themselves to a piece.

you and jungkook linger near the table, his hand slipping into yours as you both watch your friends enjoy the treat.

“i think you missed a little something there,” jungkook says suddenly, nodding toward the empty cake platter.

“missed what? we literally cleaned it out,” taehyung asks, confused.

“just take a look, for god’s sake,” jungkook says, pointing to the platter.

everyone leans closer as hoseok reaches for the platter. that’s when they notice something— a small piece of paper poking out from under the edge of the platter.

hoseok picks up the paper carefully, as everyone leans in more.

“what is it?” jimin asks, eyes wide with excitement.

hoseok’s brows furrow at first, but then his face lights up with a grin as he glances between you and jungkook. “uh… you guys should read this.”

“just read it already!” taehyung says, impatient like always.

hoseok clears his throat, holding the note up. “‘merry christmas to the best family we could ever ask for. we wanna share that..” he pauses. “next christmas… there’ll be one more family member here to celebrate with us.’”

a wave of stunned silence falls over the room before jimin gasps loudly, eyes darting between you and jungkook. “wait— are you serious?!”

you bite your lip, unable to hold back your smile, and nod. jungkook grins, his arm making it's wayaround your waist.

“oh my god, you’re pregnant?” jin blurts out.

“yes!” you and jungkook squeal.

the room erupts into cheers and congratulations, everyone rushing over to hug you both.

“we're gonna be uncles,” taehyung wipes a fake tear as he pulls back.

“we’re so happy for you,” yoongi says, his voice soft but sincere, a small smile tugging at his lips.

“seriously, can’t believe the youngest of our group are the ones who got married first and now… kids!” jimin exclaims, shaking his head in disbelief, though his wide grin shows how happy he is.

jungkook chuckles and leans over, pressing a gentle kiss to the side of your forehead. his hand rests securely on your waist, and you look up at him, your smile full of love.

“thank you, guys,” you say as you glance around the room at your friends, all of them beaming with happiness for you both. the room feels even cozier now, the love and excitement in the air making the moment even more special.

“we’ll take good care of our little jeon-to-be,” namjoon says with a wide grin.

everyone immediately chimes in, nodding enthusiastically and saying, “yes, we will!”

you and jungkook exchange a glance, a shared look of love and gratitude passing between you. then you both turn to your friends, a playful but heartfelt seriousness in your voices as you ask, “promise us?”

they all smile, the room filled with genuine affection, and they say together in unison,

“promise you.”

a/n: merry xmas my lovelies <3 did u miss the promise you fam? (i fs did)

#bts fanfic #jungkook x y/n #fanfic #bts fic #fluff #bts fanfiction #jungkook fic

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jjkookiee346 · 2 months ago

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STAY A LITTLE LONGER BABE-JJK

Synopsis: people say heartbreak from relationship is difficult but heartbreak from a relationship which barely existed is much more worse

Pairing: jungkook × y/n

Genre: angst

Word count: 5107

Warning: bit of explicit language, mention of public harassment, trust issues,insecurities,longing,

Note: this my first ever fic and English is not my first language so suggestion and remarks are very much welcomed. Story had been bit inspired by personal experience of author and fic is mostly based on y/n pov. Inspired by rosé song stay a little longer.

Going to college after a very long semester break was so much more difficult. I thought waking up would be the most difficult part, but I was definitely wrong. Leaving my house in this cold weather has been much more difficult. 5:30. A.M. indeed looks so dark, and this chilly weather with fog is much, much worse.

Reaching college was nerve-wracking; not seeing any of my friends for almost 4 months is making it feel like I'm all of a sudden a fresher. And reaching my class, I finally see my friend Namjoon.

God, I missed him. We couldn't wait and just started to share how much of a difficulty it was to wake up. Y/N, I'm telling you, this is against human rights for sure! We should just go and file a case against this timing. That rant of his was able to get a giggle out of me. While he was ranting, I heard Perisha and Tina calling me to accompany them to the washroom.

Wtf? Perisha was scared for sure. You are going to make me go deaf, Tina. Tina looked a bit apologetic, but Aisha was going to say more when Tina replied, "You won't like looking at the wall." Holy cow! Finally there was a much-anticipated wall mirror there. I guess we were on a good girl list of Santa's. And there goes the college bell, shit college bell! The way we ran to our class, pretty proud of ourselves After the national anthem and college anthem, my bench partner and I couldn't wait to spill our tea. In the midst of everything, I can't help but look at his bench. A very bad habit. And the feeling of something missing that I can't let go of. Dina, my benchmate, couldn't stop herself and just kept on talking about her trip to her hometown. While I was lost in my thoughts, his name pulled me out, huh? Y/nnn, did you hear Jungkook moved abroad? All I could do was act confused and not give her much more reaction than that. I mean, of course I did; how could I not?

September 2023

God! Why do I have to give a college entrance exam? Can't they just admit all of us? was all I could think on my way to college. Nerve-wracking man... entering the college with my entrance card, all I could think about was how everyone here is with their friends. Shit! My year gap and I already feel left out. Lost in my thoughts, I didn't even realize how I followed the volunteering person to my exam room; after thanking her, I just wanted to get done with this.

1 hour later

The exam was not that bad; I mean, I was smiling on my way to exit. But my luck, it looks like it's going to rain, and I don't have an umbrella. God, please don't let it rain till my Uber is here. All while waiting for Uber, I saw him for the first time, a man a few meters away from me, alone, maybe waiting for his Uber too, I guess. And an awkward staring contest... and finally my prayers were heard; my Uber is here. One last glance at the stranger, and I get on my bus. He was pretty handsome, but whatever.

2 weeks later

I still couldn't believe I got in; I thought my year gap would be an issue, but I guess my academic history did it. And I'm late to my first orientation class. Shit, is it only me who is alone? Shit, shit, and wait, that handsome stranger just passed by me? I'm not alone? And then he gets in the room, so followed by me. All my thoughts while entering the room were that he got some big foot. And one of the scary parts of the interaction, since I'm late, is who do I sit with? After scanning the room, I finally spotted someone with a vacant seat beside the handsome dude.

Hi, can I sit here? Yes, go ahead, and permission granted by a pretty stranger and maybe my friend for 4 years. And orientation starts; god, it was boring. And in the midst of it, I look at that dude in front of me; he sketches well. Wait, is he sketching when he is on the first bench? Is he not scared??? Was all I could think, sure. I'm pretty sure my eyes are looking like it's gonna pop off, but wtf? He has guts.

4 days later,

Whoo the fuck keeps an orientation program for fucking 9 days? Was all I could say to Jennifer, the prettyy stranger from that day who let me sit beside her; it turns out one of her friends also studies here, so now I'm third-wheeling them.

While complaining,onee teacher asked us to do something so nerve-wracking:, "So guys, I want you to form a circle of 8 and it better be both girls and boys in one group." And there he is,thes handsome stranger in my group. "Now everyone,I want you guys to interact, know your names, and go around asking other group mates names too. And a group that can give us alot of names will win.". I couldn't focus after that; all I could think about was interaction with strangers. My anxiety was already in peak when I decided to go a day without a mask. And now talk. I couldn't focus. Pretty handsome boy told me his name. I did too, but I couldn't remember it,and that sucked. But he has a very pretty smile.

Next day,

I'm late again! And Jennifer and her friend just went inside without me. Remind me to not wait for them again, please. Being late was one thing, and getting inside alone when everyone is inside is another thing. All the attention on me. My hand is sweating, and fuck! I did spot Jennifer and her friend, but they didn't even save a seat for me. Jennifer was mumbling sorry, but all my expression was giving fuck off! Already betrayed. I chose to sit alone, but boy, I guess luck is not on my side at all, because why the fuck is the teacher giving me a lecture? Have you not interacted with anyone or what? Why are you sitting alone? Join these two girls now. I swear to God I already have a teacher I hate. While I was creating holes in his body with my eyes, his words brought me out of my daydreaming revenge,"We want freshers to be part of decorating our department this year", and I need a group and names in the next 5 minutes. I swear to God I was not planning on doing it, but Jennifer asked me to join her, and a few persuading from girls beside me made me give my name to them.

If somebody had told me how much of a hassle it was going to be, I would not have given my name at all. But hey, I got an easy job. Painting something I love, and my pair was a girl named Perisa, and boy, she talks a lot for sure. I think we should just paint this with red. She looked at me for acceptance. And I just nodded. That's how our conversation was going. She was a talker, and I was a nodder. I can't go home and just sleep. The next day, apparently we have to sign up to create a college student profile. And I was stuck. Guess who just helped me? That handsome boy. He is helpful too. Just click on it, and boom, your profile is up. All I could do was stare; he looks a lot prettier up close. After I was done, thankfully by his help, I tried to talk to him and ask his name, but I guess he didn't hear me. But it's not like I'm going to be talking to him every now and then, so whatever... I was wrong, because tell me why the fuck is handsome boy Wait, Jungkook is beside me helping our seniors with craft. His voice sounds very good even from up close. And Jungkook laughs nicely. The second-to-last day, I got to know his name; I'm very proud of myself! And it got easier now to interact; we walked together till the bus stop. Exchanged our Insta, and now we go home and stalk. Nope, no stalking; he has nothing up on his profile at all, just his profile picture. He is a boxer? Damn!

Next day/last day of decoration

Why the fuck did I think he was pretty? He is annoying as hell! Like I didn't expect us to banter like this. He is lazytoo! !Like ew, tf, ,fno.o

And done!!! Teachers were proud of my painting. And I can't wait to go home and sleep, and I can hear Perisa saying, Yes, we are up for a stall. What stall are we?? We as who?? And I was brought back to my reality. Apparently, Jungkook wants to put up a gaming stall for the upcoming college program, and all the group members said yes to it. Fuck!

Program day

Our stall was doing good, and I think we are going to get some money, all thanks to Jungkook. Group mates are getting closer now; I now know everyone's name! Perisa, the talkative extrovert, Jennifer, Jungkook, Jimin, Taehyung,jhope,and Tina! Proud of myself.

Jungkook is still as annoying but now bearable. He has a pretty smile, smells good, and is kind too, so...

A few hours later

While I was busy arranging our game, Jungkook called me over; he wanted to take a picture of my eyes, and I had to look up, and boy, he is tall. Very tall.

Taking pictures was never this fun until it was time for group pictures at the end of the day and he was beside me. Perfect height gap, but he is still annoying. That day I went home with a teddy bear, which he gave to me, which he won and gave to me after I asked. Red Teddy!

A few weeks later

After the success of our stall, we didn't have time to go and celebrate, and today was the day we did so. I wore an orange bodycon, my makeup was on point, and my bangs were pretty. I was confident till I saw him, because why the fuck am I nervous?The group decided to go karaoke, and boy, I realized he is still annoying! He is singing off-key knowingly. All I did in that karaoke room was slap his hand away from the microphone.Eating in a restaurant was very hard; we kept on looking at each other, and I kept on being reminded of my dream (wet dream about this very man). Way back home, we were back to our banter, because why the fuck was this man asking a dog to bite me? The dog was too loyal for me, as I had just fed him biscuits, but wtf.

Ended a day looking at a group photo of us, with him again beside me.

A few weeks later

College reopened, and we all got close. I was starting to see Jungkook in a different light, and before it grew, I had to do something, so I ignored him. It was going all good till he approached me. "Hey y/n everything good? And I folded very badly, and there was no going back, and I hated it.

Jungkook is everything that was opposite of my type, or that's what I thought. He smokes, does drugs, has a tag of playboy already, sort of has a gangsta group personality, and is just too much, but what can I do?

January 2024

Group decided to go to the amusement park. Something I was very excited about. Dressing up in a cute crop top with flare pants and good makeup, I was good to go! It was all exciting till I was in a ferris wheel with him; why is this hulk of a man scared of heights? Now I wish I had pulled something else while pulling a card so that I didn't have to be with him in this close space together.

Feelings are growing a lot more, and I fear he can hear my heartbeat from his seat opposite from me. I doubt I have hidden my feelings for him very well. I'm sure everyone knows by now, and that was scary. My thoughts were cut off. Can you please play the weekend song he spoke of? And there I was, wrapped around his finger, taking my phone out and playing the songs he requested, not caring how speedy this ride was, and one slip and my phone will break down. Shit, y/n, I shouldn't have come here; this ride is scary. What if I die? God help me; Jesus help me. Jungkook was turning red, and I was getting much more worried. Hey, hey, look at the side; nothing will happen. I was trying to distract his mind as much as I could; I just wished he knew I would not let anything happen to him ever. The whole ride I was holding his hand,, making sure to let him knowwhattwouldld happen until he asked me to lego.oDidid I cross boundary?rWasWas aI coulduld think of.

Once again, for the group photo, he again stood beside me.

February

My sister was getting married today, and no matter how much we fought, I was going to miss her. My friends were all here, and I was very grateful he was here. I fell hard for him today for sure. While playing a few games, we ended up beside each other, and when he noticed I was on the verge of crying, he was cracking a few jokes to lift me. God, help! I'm falling more. And there was one person paying close attention to us, my bestie Sam. I got a message with our group photo, and I realized he was once again beside me.

1 week later

Sam couldn't stop but keep on talking about how she thinks he likes me too, how she couldn't help but notice how he was looking out for me. And I wished he fell for me too. That day was too good till I saw a jerk ass jerking in a parking lot of the place I was parking my scooter at. Did that shake my head yes, and did I have to rant? Yes. I ended up ranting to him in a text; he told me how I shouldn't go to these places alone and he will go with me next time. Maybe he was being kind, but shit, I fell much more.

Next day

Jungkook was the first person to arrive in the classroom. Very shocking knowing he has this very good streak of coming to college very late or after college song.

While I was minding my business, Jungkook was looking out for me; knowing how disturbed I was, he was trying to lift my mood up a lot. While I was doodling something, he would come to me and say, "Why won't you draw a sketch of mine? Or when I couldn't focus and act out my lines for the drama we were planning to act out on this very upcoming social service college trip of ours, he was trying to make me laugh by acting my lines goofily and kept on looking at me till I cracked a smile. I fell very hard. Then I didn't hide it anymore, I guess. I was openly flirting with him. We started sharing a Netflix account. Actually, my Netflix account. I started giving him chocolates. A day before the trip, we worked together on a project that I had to submit side by side. My testosterone level is so high nowadays. Jungkook said it out of nowhere. I just looked at him weirdly and went back to work.

1 week later/day of hike

On our hiking trip, girls were mad at boys for ignoring our existence completely.The whole trip we barely talked. It felt like we were not friends. I was very disappointed at Jungkook for the way he was acting this trip. Last day before we leave this community and leave for a hike, I called Jimin to have a chat. Hey, Jimin, can we talk? Jimin was a bit baffled but joined me. Sure, is there any issue? Um, yes, actually we are a bit mad about how we felt left out and how you guys are ignoring our existence. You guys didn't even ask if we wanted to have alcohol. You guys wanna have it? Jimin was confused himself. Yes, I thought Lyam told you that; I remember telling him yesterday. And he was even more confused; no, he didn't, but you guys should have told me about it. I was even more confused because I remember telling Lyam about it; he even said he would deliver the news to the boys, but whatever. I gave him a smile; actually, I called you to say we will give money so that you can buy alcohol for us too tomorrow on our way. Jimin nodded and gave a smile back. We bid our goodbye. And I went to the girls to tell them about the arrangement.

Next day

The day when everything went downhill, on our way to hiking, the girls planned to buy drinks for themselves. They were still mad, and I was left there wondering about our arrangement with boys. Weirdly, Jungkook came to talk to us after he knew about our drink; after all,, he was the one who taught us how to mix it properly with juice. Girls decided to ignore them all the way tothe top. top. Jimincome come to utalk, talk, and when I talked t Perisa, Jennifer,Jennifer, and Tina got mad at me and said how I should just be with them if I want tbad. On ourt bad. On ourthe hotel,bJimino the hotelup.HeyJi, rememb how youy, , rememb howwanted tosaid you guys wanted to have a drink too? So I needed money for that. I was already tipsy frI hade amount of drink I had on our hikiPerisa I just told him Perisa has already bougha bittconfused. And I was areaction;used about Jungkookaction; I tho...ht Jungkook told them shurting,t since my head was hurting, I just was trying and lett away with this ca bito and let it be.You guys was a bit confused, huh? You guysa proud All I could do leave. d with a proud smile an"Hey, t leave.here.n cwentled me again, "Heso youn come here. I went tit.eWhatfused, sobring?uHowalready bought it. bring?dAndu brings blank. ch did you gmoney,ring? have I was s blato give.t Umm,e money, know exactly,no answers to give. "Umm, I don'tbrands exactly, On our I think theythe hotel,hJiminocal brandsup.Heynd, remembwhow youck to the hotelwanted toin called me up.Hey, , rememb how you said you guys wanted to have a drink too? So I needed I had for that. I was already tipsy fromPerisamount of drink I had on our hiking. So I a bittconfusedim Perisa hasreaction;bought it fJungkooknd I was a bi...confused about their rehurting, I thought Jungkook told them so... but since mand letd was hurting, I ja bit was trying to gYou guysy with this convo and let it be. Ja proudwas a bit confusleave. h? You guys did? All I "Hey, do was here.ithwent proud smile and so you leave. Jimin called it.aWhat, "Hey, /bring? Howe. I went there conbring?sAndou guyss blank. bought it. money,did yohavering? How mutodgive.u Umm,s bring? knowdexactly,s blank. I just gave money, so I brandsno answers to give. "Umm, I don't know exactly, but I think they bought 4 local brands and left.

A few hours later

When we reached the hotel, we were not tipsy at all. And all of a sudden my feelings for Jungkook became a topic. I was just chilling when Perisa started saying Y/n didn't actually have feelings for Jungkook, but after he showed his red flags, she started to fall for him. Tina and Jennifer were just laughing, then Perisa spoke again, "But Y/N I think Jungkook is just being kind to you because you are friends, so you should really tone down the things, and while I was sinking the information, a sound of a bottle dropping came. .

Reaching down it turns out one of our friend dropped his bottle of beer on his way up, till lunch time we were trying to solve the issue, after lunch we all gathered together to understand what happened so jimin told us the story

Jimin pov

After y/n told me about girls buying there own alcohol I was bit surprised so I told boys. Lyam decided it will be better if we buy it in a hotel we are planning to stay in. Reaching hotel our plan started, one of our friend mingyu told us that he will manage it, "You guys chill and just let me take a shower, I will manage the drink after that" But after 10 minutes got a message from lyam that we need to go out and get it, and on our way back to room our botel dropped and teacher caught us. Mingyu was mad but we were confused that when he revealed something shocking, "his bathroom was locked from outside and lyam shares his room. By the time I was done telling the story, girls had a same reaction as we did.

End of pov

Y/n pov

Isn't it funny how lyam is not here? Jackson one of our friend with whom we got close with on our trip spoke, mingyu was quick to cut him off, let's not play this blaming game and fix the issue. All this time jungkook kept on looking at him,but not a good look and I shrugged it off. Jackson was panicking now, guys I can't get suspended, my parents will kill me. He was very much in a verge of crying and I couldn't help but wonder where taehung was. Not only Jackson,it was jimin and taehung too. After Jackson got caught they were just entering and they were caught too. And turns out it was lyam who messaged them so it was getting bit fishy.

10:00 pm

We were having fun when jimin joined us, everything was going fine. We were actually laughing but jungkook and taehung joined us too. Jungkook was beside me but we barely talked. I was already drunk by then. Jennifer was worried about lyam so she went to check up on then and then everything turned upside down.

Jennifer entered the room, hey so what did lyam say is everything good? I asked her. Jennifer looked at me with burning eyes and brust out" HE SAID IT ALL HAPPENED BECAUSE OF YOU! WHY DID YOU REPLY THEM BADLY? I was baffled and shocked and jimin joined her but lightly, yes man,why did you reply to us so lightly, you should have gave us the proper answer. And all I could think was,so that how it's turning out? I didn't care about their opinion but jungkook's, so I turned towards him.and asked, do u also think its because of me? Huh? and he bursted on me , "what do u want me to say can't you just shut up? And that's all I needed to go and lay in my bed.

Next day

I woke up with a very bad hangover, but everything that happened yesterday sinked in. Seeing perisa sleeping beside me I stood up and went to shower and my tears mixed with the water coming from shower head.

Everything was awkward, jungkook and I couldn't look at eachother anymore. And it suck and what sucked the most was perisa opening her mouth while I was packing my bag. So it's weird between you two? It took me a while to connect the dot,and I understood she was talking about me and jungkook. I looked at and replied to her softly, yeah i mean kind of and im planning to fix the issue between us ,i gave her a tight smile,tears on a verge of falling down and she spoke again,actually he knows and i was confused so she continued yesterday we went to their room after you fell alseep and he was annoyed about you getting mad and leaving to sleep. So when jimin told him that's because you like him and he replied he knows.

This new information was a bit shocking but what was more nerve wrecking was how open those feelings of mine were that everyone knew. Then i felt this anger about everyone discussing my feelings without me. I looked at perisa and replied I will maintain my distance so don't worry.

I failed very badly, cause when he got into a fight with another group I was standing infront of him standing as a shield and protecting him. And that's when I realised how I revealed my feelings infront of everyone. That was the very first night I cried for him.

Few weeks later

Group fell apart, teacher snitched, boy got punished with library hours for 15 days and I was blamed. Me,Tina and perisa were in one group,others in different. Once a group with very strong bond turned to two groups who held petty feelings for eachother very quickly.

I tried to talk to everyone specifically to him, I still remember when he left me in front of everyone while I called him over,

Hey jungkook, can we talk? He just nodded umm actually it was about netflix do you have another account or should I purchase?, no need I already got one he replied very coldly, or then can I get a password? I was hopeful but all went down when he just left

It got worse after that, it felt like he hated me now. Like if I was alone with him,he will actually kill me and all that vengeance towards me caused I had a feelings for him?Getting ignored by him for few more weeks finally knocked some sense to and I knew what I should do to stand on my ground.

May 2024

After summer break I was done crying over him. I thought I hated him alot.. I barely walked to the same direction as him. But habits never go away, I always was helping him,he needs water knowing he won't drink it if I give it to him, I passed the water bottle till it reached him, he has no pen? Let's pass my extra pen to him. It went like that but I never talked to him even while doing this.I think he felt it too cause now it was another way around. He was trying to make a conversation. Trying to talk to me. Looking at my direction when he does something. One incident was when i went back to our classroom cause i forgot something and I saw him, funny thing man did a whole turning around to look at me. Or when i caughf him in a sick room checking upon me cause i left classroom cause i was not feeling good or catching him going to whole another room and staring at me.And it all just degraded my image more. Rumors started to fly again.

July2024

College was holding a Mr and Mrs freshers. Perisa and Tina were participants along side with jungkook. I was there with perisa and Tina during their practice. Catching jungkook looking at my direction was something normal to me now but I didn't expect him to actually come and sit beside me and talk. Hey, do u have that fan of yours? All I did was nod, can I have it? Without any intention of talking I gave it you him. I thought he will leave but he didn't, judgemental eyes of people were getting too much so I left him there.

Y/N said she wishes we don't win the title along side with jungkook. Perisa said it Tina. When tina came to me to talk about it I felt betrayed once again. I wonder what made it perisa spread rumors like that... but I couldn't confront her. Fear of being friendless was scary.

His actions became more constant towards me. Looking at me every now and then made me wonder if it was his new hobby or job. Trying to talk to me also became constant, my walks were breaking down when one evening while having lunch tina said "y/n really is someone with no self respect" and I froze. Once again no confrontation. Hatred towards him and romantic feelings I had towards jungkook had a very thin line. I used to hate him during days but cry because of longing I had for him at night. And I couldn't stand him anymore now. His actions towards me made me think maybe he is falling for me,but him getting touchy with someone new and dating her infront of me made me think delusional I gotta be again.

Till the very last day I didn't talk to him. News about him trying for abroad was spreading. I still remember praying to God when I found out it was his interview day. He nailed it. After that my only goal was to talk to him and say goodbye just one goodbye I didn't have guts to do so.

August 2024

Semester break started and that's when I got the news about his visa getting approved from namjoon. A very good friend of mine after that service camp. When he told me about it i was relieved but one day it just hit me and I was there,crying my eyes put cause I missed him. I missed him alot more each and every day. Then the day he had to fly came. I remember going towards airport to see him atkeast one last time,but left before I could do so. I wish I could talk to him one last time. Ask him if he can stay a little longer with me for awhile let all these frustrating feelings of mine to him.

It's been 2 months since he left and longing I feel for him is just getting much bad. Crying for him is now a everyday routine. I wanna message him but he is in another country now. And its not like I can tie his leg down just cause I fell too deep down to the ocean.

#jungkook ff #jungkook #jungkook au #jungkook angst #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fic recs #jungkook fluff #jungkook scenarios #jungkook series #jungkook smut #jungkook fiction #bts army #bts #bts fanfction

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jjungkookislife · 1 year ago

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BTS Christmas Masterlist

Seokjin

Christmas Cookies

Yoongi

Snow Day

Hoseok

Secret Santa

Namjoon

Last Christmas

Jimin

Ho-Ho-Home

Taehyung

Besos Navideños

Jungkook

Home for the Holidays Pt. 1

Home for the Holidays Pt. 2

Holiday Drabbles

Hoseok

Envuélveme

Namjoon

Santa Baby

Jimin

A Christmas Date

Taehyung

Just Another New Year

Jungkook

Under the Mistletoe

Tidal Wave: Unwrap Me

Little Mouse: Xmas

#bts christmas #bts christmas drabbles #bts smut #seokjin smut #yoongi smut #hoseok smut #namjoon smut #jimin smut #taehyung smut #jungkook smut #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic

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joons-bonsais · 1 month ago

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Home for Christmas

Synopsis: Christmas is everything he is not, and yet everything you care about.

Pairing: Namjoon/Reader

Smutty holiday fluff. Word count: 7,675

Author's note: After many years of reading, this is my first time posting Bangtan fic on Tumblr! I would appreciate any love or feedback. Thank you!

Namjoon hates Christmas.

He’s well aware that he’s become some kind of Scrooge and you like to call him The Grinch with all the affection in the world.

Namjoon likes his own space. He likes time to himself. His corner to read. His time exploring museums and quiet bookstores without the hustle and bustle of droves of people. And Christmas, it’s…well Christmas is everything he isn’t.

It’s about crowded malls full of people and children. Long lines. (He told you once that if he could, he’d do all the shopping online and he’ll never forget how your face soured. “It’s a part of the experience,” you insisted. Before launching into some talk about how seeing all of the lights and people lined up for Santa was just part of the season.)

Christmas is everything he is not, and yet everything you care about. You, with your red lipstick and infectious smile. The one that feels like it’s lodged itself into the corner of his chest. (If he’s gonna stick with the Grinch metaphor, then his heart is two sizes too small.) You and your stack of cookies piled high on his kitchen counters. The smell of sugar and frosting wafting through his house. The way you stay up late into the night baking. (Cooking and baking alone. He always leaves you alone. His chest aches at the thought, but he’ll get to that later -)

You with the holiday earrings that dangle against your face and hit the lights. Sometimes they get caught in your hair, so he has to smile and stop and untangle them from the strands, and you laugh and stand up on your toes and kiss him thanks. They come in so many different shapes - wreaths, holly, and mistletoe, and gingerbread houses and gingerbread men, even ones that light up.

You hang tinsel wherever you can. Balancing your feet on chairs to reach up and touch the tallest corners in your house. Sometimes he has to hold you by the waist, or you ask him to help and he obliges you. You’re cute like that, you could get him to do anything you need.

It’s you and the way you hang mistletoe over the corridor that joins your kitchen and living room together and the way you kiss him. Looping your fingers into the belt hoops on his pants and pulling him in for a kiss every morning. (Not this morning though. He remembers wrly-)

It’s you sitting on the floor of the living room by his feet, surrounded by roll on roll of wrapping paper as you wrap gifts for all of the important people in your life. The scent of the cinnamon and Christmas tree candles you light. The way the flames of the fireplace crackle in the distance between the two of you. The excited way you look at the presents under the tree, when he steals a glance at you over the corner of his book.

It’s you. Your generosity and the way you so eagerly offer your heart to the people you love. The way you light up a room. The red and gold ribbons on the presents you stay up hours wrapping. The smell of sugar and icing, or roast vegetables and chicken through the house when he gets home.The sweetness of your mouth against his, the taste of peppermint on your tongue when he kisses you. Even the giant ugly Christmas sweaters you buy, that seem to engulf your curvy frame. The way you always buy one for him to match- even if he so rarely obliges you and wears them. You’re the gift. You’re the season. He’s always adored that about you, why did he not make that more obvious sooner?

He slams the book in his lap shut, his eyes staring up at the Christmas tree you’d begged him to help you with. It went up right before the first of December, like clockwork. Just like every year. Except now, it’s Christmas Eve and you aren’t here to tenderly touch the Christmas ornaments or fix them in place. You’re not here to place a gift in his hand at midnight and crawl into his lap, insisting he opens something you’ve got him.

Namjoon’s hand pulls at the Christmas sweater on his large frame. He feels dumb. His phone feels heavy in his pocket. Should he text you? He itches to send you a photo of the sweater. Maybe you would crack a smile? Maybe you would come home? A quieter voice nags at his brain: Maybe you still want to be left alone.

Namjoon is hopeless. He finds himself turning on the Christmas lights on the tree and the ones on the porch, and everywhere you’ve put them up in the house and in the front yard.

One Christmas tree was never enough for you. He counted about three in the house, the last time he checked. But he finds another one still in its box, resting against a wall by your closet. It looks abandoned and sad, like it’s waiting for you to return too. He lets out a disgruntled noise as he hoists it over his shoulder and brings it downstairs. He’ll set it up next to the front door. Maybe if he’s lucky you’ll come home and see it.

It doesn’t take him long to set it up, he shakes off some of the fake pine needles that cling to his sweater. He finds more ornaments, red bells and candy canes and little red balls. He’ll stick with a theme. You’d love a theme.

Then Namjoon moves to the living room. He even gets on a ladder to straighten the star on top of the tree, where it’s sat crooked for the rest of the month because you couldn’t reach high enough to fix it. He throws some wood into the fireplace so it crackles like you’re there to wrap presents at his feet. He lights the cinnamon candles and he touches the mistletoe on the wall, where he imagines how he’d kiss you sorry and kiss you thanks and leave you breathless.

He later finds a small stack of presents under the tree in your living room, he vaguely remembers you telling him that you meant to wrap them late and give them out after New Years when you come back to work after the holidays. He settles on the floor. He’s hunched over, crossing one long leg over another, as he gets to work wrapping each box. He’s able to secure each present is safely covered with colorful wrapping paper - and yet none of the expert packing expertise you have, so the corners aren’t folded as neatly as you would have done, but he keeps going. He finishes them off by tying some messy bows on top of each gift, before he realizes how hungry he is. Namjoon’s stomach grumbles in response as if to confirm his feelings. He wonders idly for a second, if you’ve already eaten and what you’re doing right now. Where would you have gone together tonight? What would you have made, had you decided to stay?

In the kitchen, his hands sneak into the Santa shaped cookie jar you left on the counter, always full with chocolate cookies. He makes a packet of ramen, the only thing he can salvage tonight, and a cup of hot cocoa. He grabs your favorite mug from the counter, a snowman figure wrapped in a red scarf that he’s positive looks like it’s laughing at him right now.

Through all of this, his phone continues to feel like a weight in his pocket as the night goes on. He misses you a lot. He misses you so much.

He doesn’t know where he wants to sleep tonight. The bed feels too empty without you. The red and black flannel sheets were your choice. The other rooms have Christmas tree print sheets and every room feels like it knows you’re missing too, knows that you have just vanished.

The only place he feels safe enough is the living room. God help him, he even scrolls through the TV and picks a channel with one of those 24 hour rotation of Christmas songs. “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” blares over the speakers as Monie comes to sit at his feet, whining softly, like he misses you too.

“I know,” he tells him. “I know.”

The house is unsettling in its quiet. He decides to busy himself by making another batch of cocoa. The mug feels warm and heavy in his hand, the snowman is still laughing at him when he thinks back to the fight you had before you left-

“Which one do you want to wear to the Christmas party?” you’d asked him, holding up a hanger in each arm, one white sweater sitting on one and a black turtleneck sitting on the other.

“What for?” he replied, not really looking at you.

“My friends want to take photos.”

“Uhh I don’t really care,” he’d said. “You know this stuff is more you than me, baby.”

“Your sister said she likes the black turtleneck better. She said she might be able to drop by too!” you said excitedly.

“My sister?”

“I told you this morning, she said she might be in town.”

“Oh. It must have skipped my mind,” Namjoon had replied. He knows he can be forgetful, but he must have been so focused on getting to the studio that morning. He also remembers some messages from his family had gone unanswered and you’d replied to them before they could grow worried. You’re thoughtful like that.

“Actually, baby - there’s been something I’ve been meaning to tell you-”

“Tell me what?” Your voice hadn’t even lost its excitement over thinking about plans yet. Bless your heart.

“I actually might not be able to make it, baby. I have something to finish back at the studio-”

“You always have something to finish at the studio…”

“I know, baby. But-”

“But it’s Christmas,” you’d said simply. He should have ended it there. If he was being honest, he knew the songs could wait. But he was tired, stubborn-

“It doesn’t matter, baby. I’ve got work to do, if I lose the idea- it can’t wait.-” But you can? I expect you to? What had he meant by that? He still doesn’t know. He groans at the memory, sliding his hand over his face.

“Can it wait for just a few hours?” you sounded like you were begging him as you settled the clothes on your bed. “Julia’s coming, it’s her first time meeting you. I just want to get a few photos and have some food-” He could almost hear the “please” hanging off the end of your tongue.

“You’ll be fine without me,” he’d insisted.

“But I want you there.” Then, your voice sounding smaller - “ Joon. I don’t want to- please don’t make me go alone.”

“Baby- Try to understand-”

“I do,” you had said, voice beginning to sound cracked. “I always understand you. I always try to.”

“Then hear me out right now. Okay, listen? You’ll be fine. You could even spend the night with everyone! I’ll see you in the morning.”

“But-”

Ugh. He remembers now. You couldn’t get a word in because that was when he’d started talking over you - like an irritated parent trying to reprimand their child.

“We spent last Christmas together already, didn’t we? And the one before that. It’s just one. Day. Baby-”

“Not to me, it isn’t. Joon. Please-”

“This is so dumb, Y/N. Why are you wasting time? Why are we fighting about this? It’s one stupid day out of the whole damn year-”

He was careless, it was the wrong choice of words. He knew it the moment he let them slip and turned around to find you. The look on your face had made it hard to sleep that night. You looked so hurt.

“Baby, I-”

You shook your head and that was the worst part. You looked like a sad painting coming to life. The movement wrenched the water from your eyes, as you started to blink back a few tears.

“Baby,” he tried. “ Wait. I didn’t mean it like that-”

“No. You’re right. It’s stupid,” you said, sniffling as you repeated the same words he had just thrown at you. It made him feel cold, frozen in place. For a second, he couldn’t speak. “It’s stupid. It is. It’s one day of the year. I’ll tell your family- my friends- I’ll tell them- something-”

Even though it was his fault, you were still there trying to make up for him, to save face and make up for it and protect him. You’re an angel. The way you put up with his schedule and the way he can’t be there for you is a miracle in itself. Why did he not catch that?

“Come on baby. I’m sorry- I didn’t-”

“No,” you said, shaking your head. And you were crossing the distance of the room now, too fast for him to reach for you. Pulling on a coat. Reaching for your half packed luggage. “The thing is, we both know you’re not- Namjoon. And it’s fine.” You were blinking back tears as you said this. He remembers how your voice sounded when it cracked. “You hate it. It’s one stupid day out of the whole year. I understand how much your work means to you. I do. I always have. But it’s one - it’s just one stupid day- that means a lot to me. And I wish you could just be there. For me.”

The slamming of the door behind you felt like the final note. A few minutes later, Namjoon remembers Monie approaching the door, crying softly after you.

When Namjoon looks back at the mug, it’s empty. He rubs his thumb across the edge of its rim and stares up at the clock on the wall. It’s past midnight. Christmas.

He’s on the couch later, clutching a pillow to himself, his eyes almost drifting closed when the sound of -something- someone- crashing into the door makes him sit up-

“Shit!” you curse, as you stub the toe of your boot against the door, trying to drag your purse in after you.

“Baby?” Namjoon calls after you. “Y/N?”

When you don’t respond, he stands up and finds you trying to wrench your coat off. There are specs of snow melting in your hair. He glances at the clock again and it’s late. It’s late and yet, like some Christmas miracle, you’ve just come back to him.

He blinks, getting up from the couch, and for a brief second he catches the surprised look on your face, right before you try to paint over it with another emotion- something more passive and serious. Trying to gauge how you feel from across the room is hard, but he knows he caught you off guard. It’s obvious. You didn’t expect he would still be home-

He stands awkwardly to the side as he watches you place your knit hat and scarf down with your keys. When your eyes finally find him, he swallows hard. He towers over you regularly, but he feels small in your presence right now.

“I’m just here to get a few things. Julia said I could stay the night if I wanted,” you tell him, your words curt. He’s reminded of how you sounded right before you left him. “I’ll just grab them from the bathroom-”

Namjoon blearily stares at the spot you were just standing in front of him from. His brain and his eyes are unable to catch up with each other as he listens to the heel of your boots walking from room to room in the house. He watches in silence, feeling awkward as he stands up to get closer to the door. He’s afraid and unsure of what to say, swallowing hard - and running a nervous hand through his hair. On the floor, by the door he can see puddles of water where your boots were wet from the snow. He doesn’t want you to leave again but-

A second later, you’re standing behind him. He’s afraid to turn around, but he can feel you in the room before he even sees you. He hears your heavy sigh before you cross the first steps to walk past him towards the door, your overnight bag already slung over your shoulder.

But just as you’re about to reach a hand out for the doorknob, Monie runs past Namjoon- and straight to you.

“Monie?” you say, brightening as your dog rushes up to greet you. He immediately jumps up on his hind legs to say hi. And that’s when you notice what he’s got on - your fingers tracing his back in disbelief. “Monie, baby, what are you wearing?”

Namjoon watches as you touch the red sweater he wrestled him into earlier today so they could match.

You ruffle Monie’s fur and press your head against his, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath. When you turn and look at Namjoon again, he can see your eyes are glistening a little.

“This was you?” you ask him, a soft smile catching on your lips.

Namjoon nods, taking one nervous step towards you.

“Here,” he stumbles over to reach for the bag on your shoulder, so he can set it down on the counter next to your purse. “If you want to just spend some time with him before you go. He’s missed you a lot-”

You hold Monie a little closer to your chest as Namjoon moves to the side so he can close the door after you. Your boots are still wet.

“Baby - hey,” he says softly, his voice sounds low and resigned, like he’s afraid you’ll turn away from him. “Come here. Let me help you-”

You watch in shock, growing a little teary eyed and choked up, as he gets on his knees to help unzip you out of your boots. You let Monie jump out of your arms, so you can balance your weight on Namjoon. Your hands are on his broad shoulders for leverage, your gaze moving past his frame when you finally see it.

“Joon?” His name hangs like a question on your tongue, your eyes wide as they take in the tree he put up, beautifully lit and facing the door, gleaming in red and white. You take a few steps from the door so you can look at it closer. Without turning to him, you blurt out loud- “You decorated?”

His hands find themselves stuffed into the pockets of his joggers as he crosses to where you’re standing. Namjoon feels small standing in front of you.

He wants to engulf you in his arms, he wants to touch you so bad. But he’s anxious and the uncertainty keeps his arms glued to his sides.

Namjoon’s big deep voice chuckles nervously. “I fixed the star. The one on the tree here in the other room- uh, too- You said it was crooked-”

“Baby?” you say, closing the last few inches of distance. He trembles as you touch his face, cupping his cheek. He’s afraid to meet your eyes. Your hands feel cold against his skin, your gloves dangling off your wrist. “Why are you here? Why aren’t you at the studio?”

“I couldn’t- I didn’t want to go. I know it meant a lot to you,” he says, finally meeting your eyes. “All of this. I know it means a lot to you. I couldn’t concentrate…” His voice is full of guilt as his face slumps in your hands. “I didn’t mean what I said, baby. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. It’s not stupid. If something means a lot to you, it can’t be. If you care about it, then I care about it too because I love you.”

You’re silent for a second as you process what he just said.

“So you didn’t just make up some lie to get out of going to the party with me?” You laugh softly at the stricken look on Namjoon’s face, your thumb stroking across his jaw. “David - one of Julia’s friends- he said that’s what you were probably doing.”

“I- no. No. Baby - I wouldn’t lie to you-” the words come out of his mouth in a panicked rush.

You laugh softly again, your fingers moving to his cheek to tell him you understand. “I told him I didn’t think that was it.”

He shakes his head, his eyes full of some kind of heady combo of guilt and remorse.

“I was stupid - careless- I made a mistake when - I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry I did. It’s your favorite time of year,” he says in a softer voice. “All you were asking for was for me to be excited for you, to be there for you, just like you’re always there for me.”

He’s relieved to see you begin to smile, the edges of your mouth lifting up as he apologizes.

“You came back,” he says, voice full of relief, like this is a revelation he hasn’t gotten used to. He’s beaming between your hands as he smiles. The dimples in his cheeks seem to light his whole face up.

“Of course I did,” you say, like it was never a question. “I missed you. And besides, I was making everyone at the house miserable moping around about how much I wished you were there.” You stop to laugh, adopting a nagging tone to your voice as you roll your eyes and imitate yourself - “Namjoon would love this. Namjoon hasn’t seen this yet. Namjoon hasn’t tried this yet. If he was here-”

He has to laugh, relieved, as he drops his face to your shoulder. “I was miserable without you too, baby. Even Monie knew.” Like he knows he has a cue, your dog suddenly appears at your feet again, whining and begging to be pet. You kneel so you’re eye level with Monie and run your hands through his soft white fur and his red knit sweater, your fingers tracing over the little Christmas light design on his back. He yelps happily and bounces up to lick your cheek before you put him in the other room to sleep on his own little bed.

“Show me what else you did while I was gone,” you grin at Namjoon, as he takes your hand in his and tows you into the other room with his arms wrapped around your waist.

“I put up the rest of the ornaments and I turned on the lights. I made dinner,” he smiles, glancing at the ramen packets on the counter. You have to laugh. He’s so grateful you can cook. “I wrapped the rest of the presents. The ones you forgot, for your friends from work-”

“You what?” you say, laughing, squeezing his big hand where he’s clinging to you. He slides his arm around your waist to hug you tighter as you get closer to the tree. Sitting at the bottom are a few presents crookedly wrapped.

“Namjoon-” you say, taken aback by his effort. Your eyes feel glossy with the display of his sentiments. He tried, he really tried. And that’s all that you’ve ever wanted.

“Baby?”

“Yeah?” you say, your fingers pressed into his chest. Namjoon holds you close, both of his long arms tight around your waist and it’s just the two of you together for just a moment. His forehead sitting against yours, as the Christmas music flows around you. He’s so big, your man, you feel so safe with how tight he’s squeezing you. His heart is beating so rapidly beneath the palm of your hand as he gently sways you to the music.

“Can you kiss me?” he asks after a long moment, finally opening his eyes. It’s been days since he kissed you. He wants to touch you so much. His eyes rove up and your gaze follows so you can see where he moved some more mistletoe.

“Mistletoe?” you ask, smirking.

“Please?” he says, smiling as presses his face even closer to you.

You’re giggling as you reach for him, your fingers pulling at his sweater. He has to bend down a little to kiss you, but this is one of your favorite parts about him. It’s like a dance you both know so well. You lean your head up, just as his fingers find your hair and he pulls you close. His other hand catches your jaw, his long fingers cupping your face so you have to lean up to find his mouth.

His plush mouth presses against your own, locking your lips together. Kissing him is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. You’ll never get used to how soft his mouth is, how full his lips are. He tastes a little like the hot chocolate he had before you came home. And he smells exactly the same. Like his cologne and the cinnamon candle he lit in your absence. He feels like Christmas and home all wrapped in one, everything familiar and exciting all at the same time.

His gravelly voice is moaning into your mouth when you pull him closer, parting his full lips to kiss him deeper, rolling your tongue over his own until he feels like he’s melting into you. Your arms wrap around his neck. You’re overwhelmed with the need to feel him on top of you, his weight against every inch of your skin.

“Namjoon-” you moan when you can finally wrench your mouth away from him. But he doesn’t let you go as easily, his long fingers clutching your hair between his fingers. One of his hands clutches your waist, pressing you more firmly against the solidness of his body. His soft lips simply move down to mouth down your throat. He can’t get enough of you. He’s just missed the way you smell, the way you taste.

“You even put on the sweater I got you-” you laugh with realization, hands clenching the end of the sweater so you can slip your fingers underneath the hem of it and touch the firm, warm skin of his tan stomach.

He laughs too, loud and throaty, cupping your face as he kisses your cheeks. “I’d do anything for you, baby,” he says, his voice low, warm breath tickling your ear. “My heart’s two sizes too small, but it’s all for you.”

You have to laugh as his mouth meets yours again and this time it’s his tongue slipping into your mouth. He shivers as your nails scrape down his belly.

“I missed you,” you tell him, and the honesty in your voice could break his heart. It’s enough for him to pull away so he can stare into your eyes. You seem to hold all of the love and warmth in the world for him there. It never fails to make his heart feel full. He needs you so much.

“I missed you too, baby. Want to know how much?”

You nod, kissing him. “Show me,” you whimper. “Touch me-”

It’s soft and slow then, Namjoon’s long fingers peeling you out of every piece of clothing. Unwrapping you like a gift. Kissing your legs as he zips you out of your jeans and peels you out of your turtleneck. When he reaches your panties, he rubs you through the fabric until his fingertips feel wet, then he licks you through the cotton like he can’t help himself, before pushing them down to your ankles.

Namjoon takes his time taking you apart, first with his fingers and then his mouth, until both his hands and face are glossy with how much you need him and you’re begging him- fingers wound tight around his jet black hair as he eats you out. His temple stings with just enough pain and he loves it.

His big, soft lips were made for this. Firm enough that you can grind against his mouth, and plush enough that you feel like you can meld with him. He alternates between flicks and swirls against your clit and deep licks inside your cunt, where he stiffens his tongue enough so he can fill your wet, aching hole with it before sliding back up to suck gently at your clit. You can feel how wet you are, his spit and your wetness combined, dripping between your thighs and onto his fingers like nectar. You can hear it too, and that coupled with the noises Namjoon is making - the little gasps and moans he makes as he sucks and licks is too much. When he brings his fingers into the mix, it’s over for you. The sensation on your sensitive clit, while his fingers - three of them - you gasp- fill you is too much and you’re cumming-

“Oh my god - Namjoon-“

When you look down at him from between your legs, the image is obscene. His tongue laving at your pussy, his big, soft lips wrapped around your clit as he sucks, his long fingers buried deep inside of you, curving towards that tender part of you that has you screaming.

“Cum in my mouth, baby,” Namjoon moans. His voice muffled with how deep he presses his face into your wetness. You grind against him just as hard as your orgasm takes you in waves. “Please baby- Let me taste your pussy.”

Your chest is heaving as Namjoon reaches up to squeeze you between his hands, like he’s trying to prove to himself that you’re really here, groping your breasts and pinching one of your nipples between his thumb and forefinger. He only stops when your fingers release their tight hold on his hair. He gives your swollen clit one more gentle suck between his plump lips, feels the way you shiver as he slides his fingers from your soaked pussy and he finally, reluctantly pulls away to crawl up your body. He only stops to get his sweater over his head before he’s back on top of you.

“Namjoon,” you cry, fingers trembling as you reach for him. “I need you. I missed you

so much. Baby please-

“I love you,” he whimpers into your mouth. Tongue so deep in your mouth that you can taste yourself on him. “I need you too baby-”

“I need your cock,” you beg. “Namjoon, I want you inside- please. Please fill me up. God, please-” You sound so desperate, he finds it so cute, the way you beg for his cock, like you’re begging him to come home.

“I’ll give it to you, baby. You have me,” he says. “Fuck. I’m so hard Y/N- I get this hard just eating your pussy, baby.” - he groans, jaw clenched, breath panting against your face. You know he’s cum untouched more than once in the past, just from eating you out.

“Take it out, baby. Please. Let me see it.”

Now it’s your turn to tease. You run your red nails along Namjoon’s stomach, loving watching his body tense as you drag them across his honey skin.

Namjoon hooks his fingers into the waistband of his sweatpants, sliding them down enough to take his cock out. He locks eyes with you once, his beautiful eyes slipping closed only after, when he starts to touch himself.

You smirk when he reveals that he’s not wearing underwear underneath his clothes, something he rarely does unless you’re both home and alone. And his cock is already hard, just like he said. So swollen, you feel like it must hurt him- the way his erection is hanging towards his stomach.

He looks so gorgeous from this angle. His hair is falling in front of his face. And his thick, muscular thighs are framing his beautiful swollen cock. There’s so much precum already dripping from the tip. You almost want to stop and take him between your lips, you’re dying to lick at the underside of his cock, but decide that you want him hard and inside of you more instead.

When you lean forward to touch him, Namjoon twitches. He moans just feeling your hands on his thighs, your breath against his cock. He can’t help but pull your hair, he knows you like it - as you make your hand into a fist.

He lets you touch him. It’s only been days, but it drives him crazy, feeling your hands on his skin. And when he grabs the back of your neck and tilts your head up, he kisses you like he has something to prove.

You love feeling the heaviness of his cock in your hand. Namjoon moans into your mouth when he looks down to see the way you’re grasping him, hips pushing his cock further into your hand. His own hands are massive, but his cock is so devastatingly thick and long, that it always manages to still look big in his hands. And in your hands- well he won’t hide how turned on he is by how small your fingers look wrapped around him, and always so soft. One of your hands continues stroking him while the other reaches further back to fondle his balls, heavy with so much cum for you.

“Fuck Y/N-” he gasps into your mouth, mumbling curses against your lips. His knuckles are almost white as he urges you to lay down. “Come here-”

Namjoon moves closer to hover over you, one hand dragging one of your legs over one of his broad shoulders. He leaves kisses against your ankle and calves as he stretches you out. You feel more wetness leaking from your cunt, so turned on by how he’s able to lift you and get you into exactly the position he wants.

One hand moves under to support your ass, trying to angle you up to take his cock and the other hand is spreading you wide. The warmth from the fireplace feels like it is licking at your skin. Namjoon’s long fingers swirl around your clit, drawing more wet, sweetness from your cunt as he moves.

Your breath hitches as he slides just the tip of his cock in, getting himself wet with you. He likes taking his time like this, getting every inch of himself wet with you. He can feel it, feel you, from the tip of his cock, all the way down to where you continue to drip, soaking his balls with it.

“Baby, please- Namjoon-” your voice sounds pained, every time he retreats, his hard cock just dragging, dipping shallowly inside of you before leaving again. “Don’t tease- please. Not tonight- I came home for you.”

He kisses you to soothe you. His full lips are so soft, it feels sinful. Your desperation seems to grow, you can’t help but clench your teeth - the drag of just the head of his cock against your clit makes your nipples hard, as he teases you again and again.

“Oh fuck. You’re so wet,” Namjoon groans when he finally slides all the way inside of you.

“Namjoon-” the stretch of him leaves you speechless. His cock just feels so good pushing into your body.

You feel so exposed, spread apart like this. Namjoon’s fat cock is splitting you open, with your legs spread, open so wide. But it’s the way Namjoon looks at you that makes you feel the most exposed. The precise, serious look on his face. The way he gauges every breath, every twitch of your skin pressed against his. Sweat is glistening down the long column of his neck, down his chest and stomach. The little whimpers he lets out as he coaxes you closer and closer to cumming on his cock.

“Your pussy was made for me Y/N-” he tells you. His eyes roll back as he says it. His fingers dip down to slide across the lips of your wet cunt. You look so beautiful spread open and so slick, dripping for him. “Just like I was made for you. My cock- made for fucking you.”

“Y-yes. Belongs to me. Just like I belong with you - to you. Joon-”

“Shit- You love hearing that?” he teases you, his deep voice miraculously dropping even lower as he laughs quietly. You shiver hearing the change in his tone, intertwining with the wet sound of your fucking as Namjoon keeps going.

“Yes,-” you cry out, nails clenching the pillow behind you. “You’re so big, Namjoon. Hard- Fuck me so good-”

The pit in your stomach feels like it’s tightening as you listen to Namjoon talk to you- “Fuck yes. I know you do. You’re home now, baby. Where you belong. Geting fucked by my cock- like you deserve. I’m so deep baby, tell me how good it feels-”

“I’m close-Don’t stop-” you warn him, sounding utterly broken. Your spine arches back against the couch, pushing more of your body towards his mouth. He has to wrench his lips away from where they were wrapped around your hard nipple. It aches when he pulls away.

“I know, baby. I won’t stop,” he promises. “I can feel it. Fuck-” he grunts, his deep voice filling your ear. His lips kissing your face. You turn your face in his palm when he cups your cheek, fingers wrapped around the side of your throat like he owns you. You press your fingers around his wrist, wordlessly reassuring him, telling him to go harder. The way you trust him implicitly never fails to amaze him. He’s so gone, so completely in awe of you - he swears it makes his dick even harder-

You whimper when you clench around him, walls tight around the girth of his cock. The heaviness of him inside you seems to fill a deep, deep ache. It’s no wonder you always feel empty without him. Your nails dig into his forearms as he continues pounding into you, pushing you deeper into the cushions behind you.

“You’re gripping my cock, baby,” he moans. “Squeezing around me so tight- fuck. Give it to me. I missed you so much, baby. I missed touching you. I missed kissing you all over. I missed you cumming on me.”

Your hands slide down to touch yourself as you grab both your breasts, feeling the heaviness and pinching your nipples as he fucks you. Namjoon’s jaw falls open, the sight alone makes him cry out. You’re so fucking hot and he’s missed you so much. Missed being around you, inside of you. Fuck.

It’s when your fingers reach between you that he almost loses it. Watching your fingers swirl around your clit- fingers bumping against the base of his shaft every time he slides out of you. His cock comes out pearly and glistening with your juices every time he slides out. The friction of your hand pressing against your clit and the feel of him filling you to the brim with his cock is about to send you spiraling.

“Fuck. Yeah, baby. Touch yourself. Keep touching yourself for me. Help me make you cum. I want you to cum on my cock, can you do that for me, baby?”

“Yes-”

He smiles. “Look at me, baby. Yes you can. Did so well. Always take me so good. You came home like a good girl. You look so beautiful taking every inch of me- and now you’re gonna cum so hard, you’re gonna get me wet with it, aren’t you?”

“Y-yes! Namjoon! Don’t stop-don’t stop-please-”

“I know. I can feel it. Cum. I’ve got you. I’ll take care of you, baby. I’m here for you. I’m here-“

It hits you hard, makes you feel like your body was struck. You feel breathless, weightless.

“That’s it baby, that’s it,” Namjoon coaxes as you cum, clenching and spasming around his cock so tight. He keeps going, fucking you through your orgasm. His hands press you more solidly against him when you try to squirm. He wants you to take everything you need from him. “Keep going-”

When you come back down, your thighs are still shaking when you reach for him. He lets your legs down to fall around his waist. Your hands slide down to touch more of him, nails digging into his skin, grabbing handfuls of his ass to shove him in deeper, feel him closer.

“Cum,” you moan into his mouth. You grasp his face so he’s looking into your eyes when you say it and he starts moving again. “Please Namjoon. Cum-”

You clench your teeth, grinding up against him as he starts to do exactly like you told him, and he starts fucking you through the last remains of your orgasm, just as you feel like he’s going to send you teetering through another one so soon-

“Oh fuck-baby,” he gasps. “Yes. Yes. Take it-all”

He can still feel your walls fluttering around his cock and it feels incredible. Tight and so wet. You’ve been stretched out enough by his fingers and his dick that you can take him harder, his pelvis slamming into you as he keeps thrusting.

His deep voice is rendered almost speechless, as he whimpers into your neck, “It feels so fucking good baby-” And he means it. Your pussy, your hands clinging to his back - slick with sweat, your breath and voice in his ear telling him how much you want - no, need his cum inside you.

You feel it when he swells and then spills - “Fuck baby-” he grunts into your ear, breath panting against your face as he chases his high.

Your hands feel so small against his skin as he keeps thrusting. Your fingers still tight around his waist and his ass as you clench around his cock, trying to milk the last drops of his cum. It goes on for so long, that his body shudders against yours, cock twitching inside of you.

“Fuck, baby, there’s so much-“ Namjoon groans through clenched teeth when he looks down, staring at your pussy, puffy and swollen where his cock is already pushing more of his cum and your juices out.

“Feels so good,” you whine, continuing to roll your hips as he fucks you through it, until it becomes too much. “Feel so full.”

“You’re so messy baby.” There’s a smile in his voice as he teases you. “So fucking full of my cum. You want it?”

God, this man. “Mmmhmm. Every drop belongs to me-”

Namjoon groans. He’s a man of many words, but you’re the one person in the world that can render him speechless with just a few. “Fuck. I love you Y/N.” He drops his face into your neck, grinning.

You can still feel Namjoon, still half hard inside of you. But he doesn’t move to pull out just yet, instead winding his arms tighter around you.

“I’ll clean us up,” he says. “I promise. I just want to hold you for a sec.” He’s not ashamed to admit he’s missed feeling close to you.

You look so beautiful beneath him like this. The Christmas lights flashing against your naked skin. You're still trembling a little as you catch your breath. Your hands, red nails framing your face. Sweat glistening on your skin. Your hair is wet from the melting snow and sweat.

He touches his thumb against your bottom lip and you smile, kissing his fingers, your eyes still closed. His mouth finds yours, as he kisses you and kisses you. They’re the softest lips you’ve ever tasted.

“Merry Christmas, baby.” And you have to open your eyes and lift your head up to look at him to truly capture the enthusiasm in his voice. He looks happy. Like the Christmas spirit perfectly captured in the warmth of his smiling, dimpled face. “I love you,” he says.”Thank you for coming home.”

“I love you too.”

“I want to come over for photos,” he says after a moment, while you trace his face, absentmindedly brushing his black hair with your fingers. “I want to come over and have Christmas dinner and see everyone and go look at lights.”

Your gaze softens as you stare at him, slowly comprehending what he is telling you.

“I want to go to the studio with you,” you say quietly.

“Baby- No- It’s your favorite day of the year-”

“It is,” you tell him. “We’ll do photos and presents. We’ll eat. And we can also take dessert back with us. We can come back to your studio for a little while after. We can look at some lights on the way home. I want to see you- I want to be alone with you and make up for the last few days, Namjoon. I shouldn’t have ran off-”

“You did the right thing,” he says softly. “We needed time to cool off and I needed to give you space. I needed to realize I was being an asshole and not understanding you.”

“It’s not a big deal-“

And Namjoon shakes his head as you try to deflect. “Don’t do that. Don’t say that. It is, baby. If it’s important to you, it’s a big deal. And it should be important to me too. I don’t want to miss important days because of work. It will always be there when I get back. But you-“

“Namjoon-“

“You’ve always been more understanding than I deserve. I want to celebrate with you” He’s lost in his own silence for a little before he speaks again. “Let’s call it a truce?” he says.

“A compromise,” you tell him simply. And his smile is so big, his dimples so deep, you can’t help giggling when you reach up halfway to kiss him again.

“Dinner. Photos. Presents,” he says.

“Mmm hmm,” you reply around his full lips. You’ll really never get enough of kissing him. “Studio. Dessert. Lights. Then I’m taking you home.”

“I love you,” he tells you again, kissing you deeply.

“I love you too, Joonie,” you say. You smile as he holds you closer, tighter. “Merry Christmas, baby.”

Thank you for reading! Merry Christmas. I hope you have a good holiday wherever you are.

Please like and reblog if you enjoyed what you read. You can also find me @kissesinthekitchen on AO3!

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