#santa jaws syfy

[theclassymike]

Reid Miller in the movie Joe Bell (2021)

[splatteronmywalls]

[blackphoenixinvictus]

what

[brokehorrorfan]

DVD Review: Shark Bait

Shark Bait collects six schlocky shark movies - Swamp Shark (2011), Ghost Shark (2013), Zombie Shark (2015), Ozark Sharks (2016), Mississippi River Sharks (2017), and Santa Jaws (2018) - along with a bonus alligator flick - Alligator Alley (2013) - for good measure. The fin-tastic DVD set is available now from Mill Creek Entertainment in celebration of Shark Week.

Although Mill Creek presents the features in no discernible order, I opted to view them in chronological order to see if there were any patterns or growth over the seven years spanned. They're all cheesy, but it's interesting to see which of the movies embrace their inherent absurdity, which makes them easier to swallow. Case in point: Sharknado became a cultural phenomenon because it went all-in on the concept.

In viewing all seven of the movies over a short span of time, the formula is apparent. A cast with a couple of celebrities past their prime and a bunch of wooden, inexperienced actors play one-dimensional characters that spout unnatural dialogue (usually with an obligatory Jaws reference) in between animal attacks accomplished with laughable CGI.

Another fascinating fact is that a mere two directors are responsible for all seven movies. Griff Furst (Lake Placid 3) was in the director's chair for Swamp Shark, Ghost Shark, and Alligator Alley, while Misty Talley helmed the other four. I imagine making these movies is good fun, although it likely becomes tedious after a few. But their work was clearly successful enough to warrant repeat hirings, so more power to them.

Swamp Shark is an example of a pre-Sharknado creature feature that takes itself far too seriously. An animal smuggler accidentally releases a rare shark with a virtually impenetrable exoskeleton into a Louisiana river. Despite the swampland being infested with the added threat of alligators, the opportunity for shark vs. gator action is sadly missed. While the shark is predominately created with crummy CGI, a couple of shots admirably utilize a good, old-fashioned rubber head.

Kristy Swanson (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) toplines the film as the person tasked with stopping the flesh-hungry shark before it wreaks havoc at the annual Gator Fest. The cast also includes Robert Davi (The Goonies), D.B. Sweeney (Spawn), and Baseball Hall of Famer Wade Boggs. After years of independent and made-for-television work, Swamp Shark cinematographer Lorenzo Senatore recently shot the new Hellboy.

Ghost Shark is a strong contender for the most entertaining movie in the set. It starts with a practical, fake great white in the prologue until it's killed, after which point it becomes the titular, translucent Ghost Shark. It can materialize in any water, and its appearances become increasingly more outrageous, from the ocean and a swimming pool to water pipes and a slip and slide. I won't give away the most ludicrous highlight, but it's a rare unforgettable moment in a Syfy movie.

Levity is key, which is why the last act becomes more tiresome when it focuses on the why and the how, although I appreciate that its mythology is taken seriously despite the silly premise. Mackenzie Rosman (7th Heaven) stars as a girl with a personal vendetta against the specter. Richard Moll (House) brings surprising nuance to the role of the alcoholic lighthouse keeper with a dark past. Thomas Francis Murphy (The Walking Dead) plays the small town’s sheriff.

Zombie Shark (also known as Shark Island) finds a shark - named Bruce, of course - escaping from the scientific facility in which it was the subject of experimentation. It proceeds to find food on the shore of a nearby, secluded island. The shark spreads its undead virus to other sharks and, eventually, to humans. There's no shortage of voracious fish action, including a first victim that caught me off guard; a rarity in these oft-predictable films.

Cassie Steele (Degrassi: The Next Generation) stars as one of four friends on the quaint island for a getaway, and Jason London (Dazed and Confused) co-stars as the facility's head of security hunting down the shark. Although not a "name" actor, Roger J. Timber provides solid comedic relief as an islander who serves as host to the guests.

Ozark Sharks follows a family's long-weekend trip to an Arkansas cabin that holds a special place in the grandmother's heart, only to find that bull sharks have invaded the nearby lake. This happens while the town is gearing up for a big firework festival. Much like Zombie Shark, the first kill is a welcome surprise, but the film culminates with an unnecessarily melodramatic finale.

Allisyn Ashley Arm (A.P. Bio) stars as the angst-ridden lead who becomes the final girl of sorts. Thomas Francis Murphy is back, this time playing the soothsaying owner of the local bait shop. He owns an arsenal of homemade weaponry that adds a dash of fun to the bland proceedings, including a giant air canon, an oar turned into a high-voltage cattle prod, a double-bladed katana, and a crossbow that shoots dear antlers.

Santa Jaws not only has the best title, but it may very well be the strongest effort in the set. Although it lacks the star power of the other movies, it offers a radical deviation from the creature feature formula; it's a coming-of-age movie. When a dorky teen boy receives a magic pen that turns its drawings into a reality, he uses it on his comic book, Santa Jaws. Soon there's a killer shark with glowing, red eyes, a candy cane horn, and a Santa hat on its dorsal fin targeting his family amidst their Christmas gathering.

The result is something like Jaws meets Krampus by way of Ruby Sparks, if it were produced by the Hallmark Channel. Shark excitement takes a backseat in this one, and there’s a whole lot of unintentional camp present, but the youth-driven approach to the material is a breath of fresh air. With no hackneyed military or science roles, the characters feel more natural and developed.

Though not quite as far a deviation as Santa Jaws, Mississippi River Sharks spices things up a clever meta element. Jason London plays a fictionalized version of himself, the star of the Shark Bite franchise. He's the celebrity guest at a podunk town's fishing competition, and his inflated ego leads him to believe that he's the most qualified person to save the day when sharks start attacking. Unlike his blase role in Zombie Shark, London lights up the screen in this supporting role.

The real hero is Cassie Steele's Tara, but it's Dean J. West (The Hunt) who shines when London is absent. In the comedic role of Tara's friend, Wyatt, he's an overzealous Shark Bite fanboy who relishes the opportunity to live out his favorite movie... even if he doesn't know what he's doing. A brief cameo from Jeremy London (Mallrats) - Jason's twin brother - furthers the meta aspect.

Alligator Alley is included as a bonus film. Thomas Francis Murphy plays another pivotal role, this time as a bayou redneck who brews chemically-enhanced moonshine. He dumps a string of bad batches into the river, mutating the local alligator population to the point where they can shoot spikes from their tails. He has a long-standing family feud with another local Cajun family, with two star-crossed lovers - one played by Jordan Hinson (Eureka) - caught in the middle, but they must band together to stop the gators.

The first half of the film is a bit dull, as you're essentially waiting for all of these annoying characters to get eaten, but the pacing picks up when concept that can only be described as weregators is introduced. The left-field plot point is so preposterous that it makes the film vastly more interesting. And maybe it's because I had just watched six shark movies and water is hard to animate, but the CGI isn't half bad considering the time and budget.

Shark Bait crams all seven films onto two discs. Compression is apparent in every movie (particularly with murky underwater footage, for whatever reason), and of course there are no special features, but it still beats watching them with Syfy's incessant commercial interruptions. Each one clocks in at under 90 minutes, so even the poorly-paced movies - of which there are several - are over before you know it.

Although far from high art, the best films in the collection - Santa Jaws, Ghost Shark, and Mississippi River Sharks - subvert expectations by mixing up the trite formula, and they don't shy away from levity. If you're lamenting the lack of a new Sharknado film this year - the franchise concluded with its sixth installment last year - fill the shark-sized gap in your heart with the Shark Bait collection.

Shark Bait is available now on DVD via Mill Creek Entertainment.

[howlingmadmoonwolf]

Santa Jaws (2018)

[echoazure]

should i try to watch every SyFy original movie

[faetxlity]

I'd like to request a ranking of the shark movies you've seen with reasons as to why you've ranked them as such. For my own shark movie research.

Buckle Up, Buttercup! This is gonna be a wild ride!

We're going to rank 10 of these (not as mainstream) shark movies from the most to least enjoyable by my own fucked up ranking system of enjoyment. I've seen some shit, okay? I've seen movies that should never have left the student film class they were created for and should have been burned like a 2002 limewire cd where every song has Clinton's monologue at 47 seconds in.

Okay, let's get to it.

Santa Jaws (10/10)

A thoroughly enjoyable movie with decent acting and storyline. It's my favorite Christmas movie. The Shark ate evil santa and is attracted to all things Christmas - it's the best premise I've ever heard of for a shark movie. I was invested in the characters, the weird comic shop owner, and the karma is great.

2. Six-Headed Shark Attack (9/10)

A classic Syfy movie and part 6 in a series. It's the only one of the series that I'll rank here though. Just. Look at this GIF. This the climactic chase scene that Jaws wishes it had! There is some good tension in the movie and the characters are exactly what you want in your shitty shark movie - people who make you root for the shark.

3. Sharktopus vs Whalewolf (9.3/10)

Look at this Ps2 monstrosity of CGI. The plot of this movie is compelling in the same way as your 8 year old counsin's self-written murder mystery is compelling: you don't know what's coming next but by god do you have to know. The mad scientist here has this horrible accent caught between 70s era russian hollywood and Inglorious Basterds german. She doesn't know which it's supposed to be either.

There's also a cult that is invested in Sharktopus so marks for that.

4. Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre (7.3/10)

It's fun! The acting is decent (we're comparing this to the rest of the list not anything respectable okay?) and it's original! There's a plot! There's criminal women! They do what they want! There's lesbians?

5. Ghost Shark & Ghost Shark 2 (Urban Jaws) (7/10)

It's fun! It's original! There's a lot of shark in it! You've got some compelling characters even if the animation looks like someone got kicked off the Shrek project after already been demoted from Prince of Egypt. It's got weird symbols and Rednecks so it's already in my heart. The second has Samuel L. Jackson but less rednecks ;/.

6. Sand Sharks (7/10)

Is it original? Eh. Is the CGI half decent? Yes.

7. Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda (5.3/10)

Listen. It's no Whalewolf but it's a good way to pass the time.

8. Planet of the Sharks (5.2/10)

I turn this movie over in my head at least once a month. It's got really good world building and cinematography. Like. This is surprisingly good but I cannot rank it. I don't know what you want from me. It's got this lady in it though. The southern accent is physically painful and therefore I remove .5 point.

9. Shark Exorcist (0/10)

Listen. I finished it. I watched it. Did it have a plot? Maybe? Would I subject my worst enemy to whatever this monstrosity of catholic Ohioan filmmaking is? No.

10. House Shark (0/10)

Don't. I know that this is going to make you curious but for the love of all that is pure and innocent left in this world. Don't do it. I didn't even finish this movie and I finished clownado . I know that the photo is funny. I know that you want to see it. Just... don't.

[candyflossmemes]

SANTA JAWS — below you will find lines of dialogue from santa jaws, a syfy christmas movie. feel free to adjust them as you need for roleplay. mentions of: gore, violence, clowns, sharks.

ho, ho, ho, [name], you've been naughty. you better watch out, you better not die! no sugar cookies for you. see you in jingle hell! this is going to be terrible for my hair. that is a terrible idea. not a creature was stirring, except for me looking like an idiot. there hasn't been a shark in these parts in a thousand years. ok, i'm talking about writing a comic that is so original that it defies all comic tropes. after eating evil santa, she gained his power, she doubled in size. i know it sounds unbelievable, but it's true. ok, that was four years ago. it's been months since they've seen me in a bikini. well, what's the point of having a boat if it's not the biggest? holy molar, what has teeth that size? what, did you expect me to come unprepared? you, me and 120,000 of my followers. you stay here looking hot. my pores look terrible! let me handle this. don't say anything. so, why were you jogging at five in the morning? i can't remember the last time i did this much exercise. i've actually been thinking about doing a triathlon. she really does have a one-track mind. you're the next pablo picasso of aquatic monster comics. hashtag soulmates. we just saw an elf turn into a christmas dinner. they glow like rudolph's nose. so we just need to stay away from the water and we'll be fine. [name] is out there. if we don't stand up to our fears now, we'll never stop running. he wasn't afraid of anything. except clowns. but we're not superheroes. any more excuses? this party's really gonna be bumpin'. he who holds this pen holds great power. i see what you're thinking. we made her together, [name]. let's put this fish on ice. you're just a stereotype. i guess i've always been fast. it feels like it's more his dream than it is mine. let's blow this fish outta the water. we need to think about this logically. that is classified information. i thought you said this guy was getting cat-fished. so, christmas miracle, huh? i know a shortcut. i mean, christmas is about giving, isn't it?! but then i'd have to talk to her. haven't you ever heard "the ends justify the means"?! it's not going to bring them back. why won't you believe me? ho-ho-ho, you... fish.

[madrefiero]

@midnightwinterhawk This is what I was telling you about.

Santa Jaws (trailer) 2018

I love how utterly post modern the SyFy channel has gotten. 

Sharknado changed things.

[theclassymike]

Reid Miller taken by Ana Rodriguez.

[lostcryptids]

well santa jaws was a pretty bad movie i think syfy should give up on sharks if you can’t make a christmas shark good then it’s over for you 

[tvmoviechristmas]

Toys of Terror (Syfy, 2020)

You will survive Christmas in the mountains. I promise.

Starring: Kyana Teresa, Georgia Waters, Verity Marks, Dayo Ade

Plot Synopsis: Just before Christmas, young Zoe, her brother Franklin and their family move into a secluded mansion with a dark past. While the adults focus on renovating the place, the bored kids find a toy chest hidden in the attic, and are delighted when the toys inside magically come to life. But bizarre events soon begin to take place - events that threaten the family's lives. As the special day dawns with gifts piled under the tree, the body count rises and the blood starts to flow. (x)

In My Humble Opinion: If you are sick and tired of seeing people fall in love this Christmas, Toys of Terror is here to add some murder to your holiday offerings. You have to give it up for variety, I suppose!

Over the past decade as a made-for-TV Christmas movie reviewer, I have heard about the occasional Syfy offering to the fold (Santa Jaws being the name usually bandied about), but my posting schedule never really allowed me to look into one such offering until this year and Toys of Terror. Sadly, I was disappointed with the result.

I expect a Syfy movie to be schlocky and fun. Full of tacky effects and a premise so stupid that conventional movie theaters wouldn’t normally show it. Toys of Terror has some tacky effects, and the premise of murder-toys is stupid but it doesn’t feel engagingly stupid. I mean, I have seen both The Boy and Brahams: The Boy II in theaters and both those movies were dumber than Toys of Terror.

The biggest problem with Toys of Terror is that it takes forever to get going. By the time the real danger has started, the movie is about 2/3rds of the way through its runtime. It would be one thing if the movie had properly made you feel the dread of the upcoming horror to come, but mainly it feels like they’re trying to run out the clock with all of the set-up. Maybe if the film was campier, the wait for action would be more bearable but it’s not campy at all. It’s just boring.

It’s a bit of a bummer that this most likely will be the only Syfy movie I get to review for the blog because it doesn’t feel like an effort most representative of what the channel can be. I should have watched the murder Santa shark movie instead, timeliness be damned.

Watch If: You do not believe in the Tickle Monster, if you are a “we eat eight spiders in our lifetimes” truther or if all you want is to get through the whole story once.

Skip If: You would have no reluctance to move into a codemned building, if you are a mother who keeps getting distracted by work stuff or if Santa has not always been there to give you awesome gifts as a kid.

Final Rating: ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆

If you like this blog, please consider donating to my Kofi page! You can also donate money to kbange@gmail.com through either Venmo or CashApp. Thank you!

[ohmygoodnessgraciouss]

Christmas (Batboys x Reader)

Christmas at Wayne Manor is absolute chaos.  As soon as it's November 1st, Bruce has a huge tree placed in the center of the entrance and inside the Grand Hall.  Later, it's decorated by two dozen maids with glass ornaments that look like they could break by a simple touch.  The lights on the tree turn on only when Thanksgiving Day has arrived, and the trees are so bright that it's almost hard to look at them.

Later, Alfred is organizing servants to decorate the railings of all the stairs with pinecones and poinsettias galore.  Silver tinsel and bells go by the doors and around the frames of any archways.  Everything outside is covered in Christmas lights that give the grounds an elegant look for Christmas.  During galas and parties, ice sculpture ornaments hang from the trees by the gates that have lost their leaves.  

In all, Wayne Manor looks gorgeous for the holidays, but there is one problem.  Everyone is always busy and it seems like you can't escape the bright lights and fake Christmas presents for even a second.  The worst part is the constant Christmas music you swear Jason is playing just to annoy everyone.  It's usually just a bunch of Carpenters and Amy Grant songs.  Occasionally there's an Elvis Presley or Nat King Cole song in the bunch.  

Damian is constantly chasing Titus to rip off some sort of Christmas headband that Tim sticks on him.  Sometimes it's reindeer antlers, and other times, it's an Elf hat.  Either way, it's hilarious to watch him chase the dog for a while.  

Dick is about as excited for Christmas as you can get.  He loves the holiday and tries to wear an ugly Christmas sweater every day until Christmas.  On the 25th he forces everyone to be up by 5 AM and in pajamas.  Bruce tries to get into everyday clothes, but Dick drags him out before he can try it.  Even Alfred comes in in semi-casual clothes.  Of course, he doesn't want to do it, but it is his master's wishes as Dick tells him this every year.  

Let's start with the week before Christmas when the Wayne Foundation holds its annual Christmas ball.  Hundreds of businessmen and women arrive to talk about their profits over the year and how they're hoping to get out of the red before the next fiscal year.  Dozens of reporters come in, eager to talk to the Wayne children.  In reality, every single one of you is bored the entire night.  

"I can't believe he won't let us drink," Jason grumbled while the two of you sat in a dark corner of the room.  Green, red, silver, and gold decorations filled the ballroom.

"Because he knows you'll drink the night away and make an embarrassment of yourself," You replied.

"Dick's always making an embarrassment of himself but he's allowed to do whatever he wants, right?"

"Dick has no shame.  Bruce has given up on trying to make Dick look like he's an heir to the fortune someday."

"The last time he was at a ball, he drank so much that he started telling everyone to call him Ric."

"Maybe he has some shame.  Definitely going to be in the family photo album Babs is making," You laughed.

After a man asked to dance with you, you decided it might not have been the best idea to wear heels.  You went through several dances before you could finally escape, where you stumbled upon Tim.

"Hey Tim," You greeted him.  He looked up from a stack of papers that he was currently holding to flash you a smile.  The papers looked like they were blank.  "What are you doing?"

"Escaping news reporters and women.  If I make it look like I had unexpected work to do, no one approaches me except you and Bruce."

"Let me guess, you got the idea from Barbara?"

"She was the one who gave me all these papers."  

"Well, at least she gave you something to do.  I just had to dance with a half a dozen men who looked the same."

"Just because they're all in a tux doesn't mean they look exactly the same appearance-wise."

"Yeah, well, you dance with these heels on and tell me if you stop worrying about how you'll burn the shoes later and start worrying about what everyone looks like.  I could've danced with Damian for all I know."

"Speaking of Damian, where did he go?  Don't tell me he somehow escaped this."

"He better not.  I'll personally kill him if he did."

"You know Bruce's rule, (Y/N)."

"Right.  I'll just break all two hundred and six bones in his body."

"There you go.  Wait, is that him?"  Tim asks and points to someone across the room.  

Sure enough, there was Damian standing and talking to a bunch of people.  He looked bored and like he wanted to get out of there.  You've definitely felt that way before and you felt bad for him now, so you decided to help him out.

You quickly made your way over to the crowd and pushed past to Damian.  "Damian, Tim told me that he needed your help with some paperwork he forgot to file this afternoon.  If he doesn't get your signature tonight he's going to be in a world of trouble with Bruce."

"It's his own fault, isn't it?  Well, if I must.  Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen," He flashed them a very faint smile, one that Bruce has been trying to teach him for the past week.  

He quickly walked off with you and you could see by the look in Damian's eyes that he was thankful.  "I have no idea why I have to be here.  I don't even celebrate this idiotic holiday," He complained.

"You have to make a good impression for Bruce by looking like the perfect blood son to all of his shareholders.  It's only a few nights a year that you have to do this, so suck it up."

Damian rolled his eyes and you continued your way through the party.  The rest of it almost seemed like fun until Jason finally grew tired of it all.  Thus, your night at the party ended with you dragging him out as he stuck any kind of food he could find into the cheese fountain.  Yes, that included strawberries and even blocks of cheese.

~

Later that week, everyone went up to the local mall to see Santa Claus for pictures.  Why?  Because nearly everyone was a child and wanted to go see Santa except Damian.  He was dragged along with you because he needed to see Christmas.

Santa seemed to be shocked at a huge group of adults wanting to get a picture with him, more specifically, people who either knew the Wayne family or was a part of it.  He still continued to be jolly and take the picture with them.

"And what would you like for Christmas?" He asked Damian.

"The souls of the damned."

The Santa stopped for a moment, unsure of what to say.  Before Damian could say anything else, Santa laughed.  "Well, I'll see what I can do about it since you've been a very good boy."

Both you and Tim couldn't stop laughing at him.  Everyone else was buying the pictures so Tim walked up and grabbed Damian's hand.  "Don't bother getting him anything, he'll be on the naughty list for a while once you hear about everything he's done."

~

Christmas Eve almost seems like a typical day until about 5:00 PM.  Bruce finally gets home from Wayne Enterprises and goes into his office to wrap presents.  You'd think he wouldn't be into doing that, but he seems to really enjoy wrapping everyone's gifts.  

You, Dick, Jason, and Tim spend the time watching all sorts of Christmas movies.  Your list varies greatly.  It'd start out with A Christmas Story, and merge onto It's a Wonderful Life and Miracle on 34th Street.  As time progressed, you'd start watching Edward Scissorhands or The Nightmare Before Christmas.  Damian would join the four of you once it reached Die Hard or stupid Syfy movies like Santa Slays and Santa Jaws.

Alfred would spend all of Christmas Eve making sure that everything was perfect for tomorrow.  Even though the maids cleaned the room that had your tree in it about a dozen times, he would vacuum the floor and dust the shelves all over again.  Sometimes he would reposition some of the ornaments and tilt the star into a perfect balance.  He enjoyed doing it, and he would sometimes peek into the other room to see everyone watching movies.  

By the time it reached 10 P.M, you would load up the NORAD Santa Tracker to see where Santa is currently.  Dick loved getting to watch as the virtual sleigh moved across the map, and later started a game.  Everyone had to guess the country by only the name of the town that Santa was heading to.

"He's heading to Moscow."

"Russia, duh," Damian would answer quickly.

"Athens."

"Greece," Tim chimed in.

"Izmir."

"Don't know, don't care," Jason would say as he got the eggnog out.

~

By 11:00 P.M, Bruce would tell you it's time to go to bed.  No one would say a word because you all knew what that meant.  He was coming down with all the presents, and that meant even the ones from Santa.  Apparently, Santa was too scared to come to Wayne Manor every year because he knew who everyone was.  Santa wasn't stupid.  Coming into a house full of vigilantes in the middle of the night might not be the best idea.

Once it was about 4:30 A.M, everyone could hear Dick slowly come out of his room to check out the tree.  It was no secret, and it was like clockwork for him.  Everyone could get a maximum of six hours of sleep during Christmas before they wake up to Dick's face in front of them, eager to open presents.  Sometimes you wondered if he was just a child in an adult body, but who were you to judge?

He'd usually wake you up first because you'd take the longest to trudge out of your bed.  Because of this, you would be able to sneak into the kitchen to start heating up water for hot chocolate.  You had done this every year so far, and sometimes you'd see Alfred come into the kitchen, pulling the mugs out.  

You'd make enough for everybody and Alfred would help stick the marshmallows in.  You placed mugs of it on all the tables as one by one everyone came down.  Tim first, then Jason, then Bruce, and Damian would come down, with Dick following shortly with a bloody nose.  

The entire morning consisted of everyone unwrapping presents and thanking each other.  The fireplace would have a couple of logs burning inside as everyone cheered and laughed.  Of course, everyone had to save a couple presents for each other because Barbara, Cassandra, and Stephanie couldn't come over until later in the day.  

It almost seemed like you were just the average family and not a big group of superheroes that go out every night.  

~

When it was the afternoon and the girls walked into the Manor holding dozens of gifts, it was like Christmas morning all over again.  More hot chocolate was made, everyone laughed and played games, it was perfect.  Except until you were done unwrapping presents.

Tonight's Christmas dinner was turkey, stuffing, and an assortment of sides to choose from.  You, Jason, and Alfred cooked the dinner, and it was a long an stressful few hours.  You fought with Jason for ten minutes on whether or not the "tent" of tinfoil is removed from the turkey in the final hour.

The sides were carefully prepared by Alfred as he listened to the two of you fight.  Since it never got hostile, he didn't bother with breaking it up until the turkey was about to burn.  Bruce and the others could hear it from across the Manor, as they watched a new movie Barbara got.  

In the end, Christmas dinner was perfect as everyone ate around the table.  The only problem was when Stephanie was bringing out the desert, a lovely chocolate pie that Alfred made yesterday, and she slipped.  The pie went flying and splattered all over the ground.  Most of it fell onto everyone's shoes, but for poor Tim, some of the whipped cream that was on top flew right into his face.  Everyone felt bad, but they couldn't help it when Damian started laughing.  That's right, Damian Wayne laughed.

~

To finish off the night, everyone told the funniest stories they had for the year.  Whether if it was on patrol, or when Dick fell down the stairs and quickly brushed it off as being his new invention to go down the stairs faster.  You, Bruce, Alfred, Tim, Dick, Jason, Damian, Barbara, Cassandra, and Stephanie had fun all Christmas day.  

Even Titus had a little bit of fun for the ten seconds he was able to snag some of the chocolate pie off the ground.  

If this was how they would wrap up their year, they were happy with it.  For once, a Christmas in Gotham City seemed peaceful, silent, and right.  

Merry Christmas to all.

May your December 25th be spent with the ones you love, and may you find happiness for even just this one day.  

If you don't celebrate Christmas, happy Tuesday.  I hope your day is great, something good happens, and remember, stay fabulous.  <3

[brokehorrorfan]

Six killer shark films - plus a bonus alligator flick - will be collected on a DVD set by Mill Creek Entertainment. Dubbed Shark Bait, it will be released on July 9. Seven movies are compressed onto two discs. No extras are included.

The set features: Swamp Shark (2011), Ghost Shark (2013), Zombie Shark (2015), Ozark Sharks (2016), Mississippi River Sharks (2017), Santa Jaws (2018), and Alligator Alley (2013).

Yep, these are all real movies that actually exist, mostly produced as Syfy original movies. Additional details on each title can be found below.

Swamp Shark is directed by Griff Furst (Lake Placid 3) and stars Kristy Swanson, Robert Davi, D.B. Sweeney, and Jeff Chase.

An animal smuggling ring accidentally releases a deadly shark into the swamplands of Atchafalaya Basin causing carnage to the residents and visitors to the upcoming Gator Fest.

Ghost Shark is directed by Griff Furst (Lake Placid 3) and stars Mackenzie Rosman, Dave Davis, Sloane Coe, and Richard Moll.

When rednecks on a fishing trip kill a great white shark, its spirit comes back for revenge, and soon turns its sights on the town of Smallport.

Zombie Shark is directed by Misty Talley and stars Cassie Steele, Jason London, Sloan Coe, and Laura Cayouette.

Four friends vacationing at a resort island find themselves faced with the danger of infectious zombie sharks that transform their victims into the undead.

Ozark Sharks is directed by Misty Talley and stars Allisyn Ashley Arm, Dave Davis, Michael Papajohn, and Ross Britz.

A vacation to the Ozarks turns upside-down when bull sharks somehow infiltrate Arkansas's freshwater lakes and wreak havoc on a town's big fireworks festival.

Mississippi River Sharks is directed by Misty Talley and stars Jason London, Cassie Steele, Miles Doleac, and Tahj Vaughans.

Sharks attack a fish rodeo on the Mississippi River, and it is up to a group of locals, along with a visiting actor from a successful franchise of shark movies, to stop the sharks.

Santa Jaws is directed by Misty Talley and stars Reid Miller, Courtney Lauren Cummings, Jim Klock, and Carrie Lazar.

A young aspiring comic book artist is gifted a mysterious pen that brings his drawing to life. Now his creation, Santa Jaws, begins to devour his family and the remaining must battle for survival against this creature.

Alligator Alley is directed by Griff Furst (Lake Placid 3) and stars Jordan Hinson, Victor Webster, Thomas Francis Murphy, and Christopher Berry.

Rival bayou families must put their mutual hatred aside when a mutated alligator begins devouring members of each clan while it rampages through the swamp.

[ninalevy]

Santa Jaws:

Just leave some chum under the tree.

Yes, there was a 2017 SyFy channel movie with the title “Santa Jaws”

It was part of “Sharknado Week.”

I have not had the pleasure of viewing it, but the synopsis says that the main human character is a teenage boy who wishes that he didn’t have to spend the holidays with his annoying family. He draws a wish fulfillment comic titled “Santa Jaws” with a magic pen which somehow manifests a real shark determined to kill his family members on Christmas. He and his older brother try to prevent the shark from eating the family... because even if you do fantasize about eradicating your relations...you probably don’t really want them to end up in the stomach of a shark wearing a Santa hat on its dorsal fin.

In summary, this napkin does not resemble the movie.

But perhaps, any holiday season, it is always good to be reminded that, no matter how strained the relationship, almost no one actually wants their family to be eaten by a CGI shark. ....even one driving a sleigh.....or Rudolph the Red Nosed Shark