#sansa-snark
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amplifyme · 8 months ago
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When they reached Maegor’s Holdfast, she was alarmed to see that it was Ser Boros Blount who now held the bridge. His high white helm turned stiffly at the sound of their footsteps. Sansa flinched away from his gaze. Ser Boros was the worst of the Kingsguard, an ugly man with a foul temper, all scowls and jowls.
“That one is nothing to fear, girl.” The Hound laid a heavy hand on her shoulder. “Paint stripes on a toad, he does not become a tiger.”
Ser Boros lifted his visor. “Ser, where-”
“Fuck your ser, Boros. You’re the knight, not me. I’m the king’s dog, remember? “
“The king was looking for his dog earlier.”
“The dog was drinking. It was your night to shield him, ser. You and my other brothers.”
Ser Boros turned to Sansa. “How is it you are not in your chambers at this hour, lady?”
“I went to the godswood to pray for the safety of the king.” The lie sounded better this time, almost true.
“You expect her to sleep with all the noise?” Clegane said.
I've always loved this passage because Sandor offers Sansa sage advice and covers her ass at the same time when Boros questions her about where she's been. And it's easy as breathing for him. He may not be a Ser, but he's Sansa's knight, through and through.
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jonsnowunemploymentera · 1 year ago
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AGoT was absolutely making some big statementsᵀᴹ re deconstructing unrealistic fantasies and how they make tragedies out of children, with Jon, Bran, and Sansa being the main vehicles for this commentary. They are basically three different versions of GRRM’s critique on the genre. All three had built life expectations based on the songs fed to them as children, but had to have those dreams and aspirations (very) violently shattered as they were thrust into a world that didn’t care how it made corpses out of them. They have all been made victims of fantasy’s violence in a tragic process that is believed to be the natural order.
Sansa realizes in time that the songs didn’t paint the full picture. The singers neglected to warn her that not all handsome princes are kind, and not all knights actually understand the contradictions in the vows they swore; some don’t really care to in the first place. She learns that the handsome prince she loves can brutalize her through the very knights who should protect her (an innocent maiden). Though he doesn’t know it yet, it was Bran’s very ideal that almost killed him. He wanted to be Barristan the Bold, a valiant knight of the kingsguard. But it was a member of this “noble” order that tried to murder him (and thus made his hopes and dreams impossible) because he witnessed him betraying the man and institution he swore allegiance to. And Jon, like Bran, wanted to be the valiant hero. He banked on the songs which propagandized the Night’s Watch and their noble exploits. Then he actually joined the watch and came to learn that this “noble” order is an oppressive xenophobic force; and the contradictions presented when the oppressed (a bastard boy with little social status) unwittingly becomes an oppressor (him initially buying into the propaganda that the wildlings shouldn’t be a protected class).
Once all is said and done, all three children are forced to take on roles that couldn’t be farther from what they envisioned. Sansa is a princess hopping from one tower to the other, forced to cater to the whims of abusive men. Bran is a crippled boy who unlocks a magical power that he doesn’t really care for; he wanted to be a knight not a magician for crying out loud! And Jon does become Lord Commander as he wished, but he is utterly depressed and lonely when he’s made to foreswear family ties and drive his friends away once he gains power over them.
But the cool thing is, in the very same way that fantasy is deconstructed through them, it is also reconstructed and given new meaning as they find a place for themselves in the world in spite of their tragedies. Sansa is still a pretty princess in a tower, but she is learning to be her own rescuer and she has managed to retain empathy and kindness in an environment that tried to tell her how futile it would all be. Bran may be crippled and incapable of becoming Brandon the Bold, but he has reinvented what it means to go on the hero’s adventure and he is beginning to build a role as the Prince of the North. And Jon may be a bastard, yet he has somehow become the living embodiment of what it is to be the valiant prince that little children love to dream about.
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ethereal-elegance · 4 months ago
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@treehillraven23-blog
How delusional,dumb,and ignorant do you have to be believe this bs as a cop out to dismiss and downplay Daenerys' lack of privilege and family for most of her life,ntm victim blame her because your callous ass lacks empathy for the character☠️Daenerys literally lost everything (most of her family,her home,and what her family had that would've been hers) before she was even born as her mother died shortly after giving her (like Jon's mother,Lyanna),literally started life with nothing (all she would've had if Rhaegar didn't die,if Elia,Rhaenys,and Aegon,literally had nothing even begin with but her name and blood.So congratulations on implying you agree with these facts🤡🙃
And just because she never had the opportunity to know Rhaegar, the privilege to know all her siblings, since that was one of many she was robbed of even birth,it still count as loss especially when it's important full blood related members of the family such as her mother,Rhaella,who suffered all her life being abused by Mad King Aerys even before their father forced the sister and brother to marry for the Prince Who Was Promised prophecy.Viserys was almost just as cruel and abusive to Dany as Aerys was to Rhaella throughout their lives as just a brother,then her husband and king.I bet you would be agreeing with me if it was about Jon regarding Lyanna because it's always double standards with antis,since y'all are so full of shit.
Jon stans (but can't expect you to know since all nonas crackshippers are glorified self-insert sardine stans who projecting to fantasize about fucking Kit Harrington😂) of all people should know damn well how deep the void of a mother is (as Jon has serious mother issues thanks to being mistreated and looked down on due to his bastardy and Catelyn's abuse towards him as supposedly the product of Ned's infidelity),because Lyanna is more important to the narrative for some of the main characters,Jon and Arya,like Rhaegar is to Dany while Rhaella is not thanks to GRRM's intention with his writing in the books.Not to mention Dany looks up to Rhaegar and longs to know him even in death,which is why she's eager to learn about Rhaegar.So your reasoning is invalid regardless,and your first part about Viserys is downright blatant nonsensical lies🤦🏾‍♀️🤨
Daenerys did not "hElP" Khal Drogo to kill Viserys🙄There was literally nothing Dany could do to protect and save Viserys even though she told the Dothraki who witnessed Viserys assault her not to harm Viserys,and even tried to warn him against his misbehavior by giving him a taste for what's was to come if you continued,hence why Viserys was forced to walk on foot instead of riding on horseback as punishment for assaulting Dany.Not to mention GoT never shows Dany actually loved Viserys,still loves him,even misses him (since she remembers how well he treated her back then when he still loved her),but she would and could no longer help him (as she lacked agency and power even as Khal Drogo's wife as a girl who is actually just his child bride sex slave) after warning him about how his violent disrespect to the Dothraki and herself pregnant with Khal Drogo's son as his wife since Viserys forced her to marry the much bigger,much older,much scarier Khal Drogo so young as she was literally just a girl,just a child.
Let's just conveniently ignore book canon of how Viserys changed when he had sell the only thing left of their mother,Rhaella's crown,for food to survive as Dany was severely sick from starvation.Viserys snapped in that moment because he was very close to Rhaella,so he began being cruel,too harsh,verbally,emotionally,and physically abusive to Dany and had been terrorizing her ever since.Viserys would literally beat when "she woke the dragon",and it's obvious when he was even terrorizing her in her dragon dream in the books with the bruises on her naked body and her apparent fear,which is why the dream is symbolic of Dany being scared to wake her dragon.Dany's fear and her body language like she's trying to hide or escape from Viserys is also proof of this besides the memory pre-aSoIaF in one of her chapters Viserys beat Dany so hard all just because Dany spilled,clocked Viserys,and called out his double standards towards her concerning how she should've been born earlier.
As if it's somehow Dany's fault the Targaryens "fell from grace" due to Robert's Rebellion when she wasn't even born yet and just a baby when the Targaryen dynasty ended😭Viserys really had the audacity to shift the blame from the adults onto Dany and actually said if she would've been born earlier,Rhaegar would've had a much better option to marry instead,so Rhaegar would've have been so weak to be so enamored and lovesick with Lyanna he practically threw everything away to elope with her.That memory is manifested into a dragon dream as likely a trauma response similar to nightmares and PTSD of abuse victims.Since Dany was scared of him for years (which is a common response of abuse victims towards their abuser) as she reveals in her POV chapters Viserys hurt her,it can be inferred Viserys actually acted upon his threat towards Dany and the events of that dragon dream really happened before.
Let's just conveniently ignore Viserys consistently insulting and offending the Dothraki with his superiority complex,lashing out at a pregnant Dany and being violent towards her,provoking Khal Drogo by threatening to harm his wife and unborn child.Khal Drogo was literally protecting her from Viserys who posed a threat as he'd shown them all what he was capable with all his unprovoked,unwarranted hostility towards his own full blood related sister,his only family left.Not to mention in the books,Viserys planned to rape Dany before she married Khal Drogo and tried to enter her room at night,but Illyrio foresaw this and had guards stationed outside her door.Viserys felt entitled to Dany's maidenhead (virginity) which he perceived to be belong to him due to his Valyrian blood purity and supremacy and perceiving her as his property,because he believed Dany was supposed to be his bride and give him heirs as his only sister and other full blood Targaryen besides himself.
Oh the irony of Viserys' possessiveness of Dany when he sold his own sister,his only family to Khal Drogo in exchange for an army to take back his birthright,the Iron Throne.Tell me without telling me you never really read the books or even watched the show,most likely skipped Dany's chapters and scenes as antis tend to do,because y'all lack basic reading comprehension skills and are just too threatened by a character as iconic,compelling,great,and complex as Dany🤡
Even in the context of GoT,Viserys was still a cruel,abusive brother to Dany.Literally molested her,literally said he'd let all the Khal Drogo's men and their horses fuck her if that's what it would take to reclaim the Iron Throne,calls her degrading and derogatory slurs rooted in his racism and Valyrian blood supremacy such "Dothraki whore,Horse's slut" despite forcing her to marry the Khal for his own ends for the crown;Not to mention let's just conveniently forget Viserys really threatened to cut out Dany's unborn child when she was pregnant.After everything Viserys did to his own sister,even planned and tried to do to her,Viserys reaped what he sowed and honestly deserved what he got although I do have sympathy and pity for him considering how much his life changed for the worse due to Rhaegar's death and Robert Baratheon usurping.
But Viserys was wrong in punishing Dany for Rhaella's death,blaming and never forgiving her for Rhaella dying from childbirth.It's not her fault as she was literally just a baby fresh out of the womb.So it's valid and true Daenerys lost two brothers including her mother who GRRM rarely mentioned compared to Rhaegar and Aerys + GoT never even cared about to acknowledge Rhaella's existence considering it didn't suit their skewed narrative (but GRRM only used as a writing device often in fiction for characterization and character development to motivate Dany to become a true monarch who prioritizes her duty to the people over the self and devotes her life to protect and care for her people like a mother as the Mhysa/Mother of Dragons,the mother she never while being in the process of fulfilling the void of 'family','home',and "the childhood she had never known" by giving her people that symbolized by protection,security,and safety,because she can't bring back the dead or go back in time to save her family, and she can't even obtain the house with the red door,the lemon tree,and "the childhood she had never known" ) and great-great grand uncle Maester Aemon,who the GRRM didn't even have her meet unlike the likes of Jon who grew up with a father and siblings in a castle.
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They’re both gone now. 
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agentrouka-blog · 6 months ago
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Favourite sassy Sansa moments ??
This one is still my favourite:
“When Lady Anya first told me of this match, I was afraid that you might look like your father."
"Little pointy beard and all?" Alayne laughed.
“I never meant..."
"I hope you joust better than you talk."
I know she’s technically playing a role here but SANSA STARK’S SASS IS UNDERRATED!!!! she’s so unintentionally funny
Anon, I am pretty sure it's intentional. ^_^
Sansa is dang charming and funny when she's allowed to be.
The older man in white spoke to Sansa gently. "Ofttimes Ser Ilyn frightens me as well, sweet lady. He has a fearsome aspect." "As well he should." The queen had descended from the wheelhouse. The spectators parted to make way for her. "If the wicked do not fear the King's Justice, you have put the wrong man in the office." Sansa finally found her words. "Then surely you have chosen the right one, Your Grace," she said, and a gale of laughter erupted all around her. "Well spoken, child," said the old man in white. "As befits the daughter of Eddard Stark. I am honored to know you, however irregular the manner of our meeting. I am Ser Barristan Selmy, of the Kingsguard." He bowed. (AGOT, Sansa I)
This isn't quite as hilarious at first glance, but she's very much working her audience here, to great effect.
Of course, she rarely has the opportunity to openly speak at all, let alone with sass, so a lot of her snark happens internally.
One of my favorite unspoken lines is this:
The king leafed through it with no interest. "And what is this, Uncle?" A book. Sansa wondered if Joffrey moved those fat wormy lips of his when he read. (ASOS, Sansa IV)
The classic:
"They say my brother Robb always goes where the fighting is thickest," she said recklessly. "Though he's older than Your Grace, to be sure. A man grown." (ACOK, Sansa V)
I'm sure there are many that escape me right now.
But yeah, the TWOW sample chapter is pure gold in terms of watching Sansa be closer to her carefree self. Excitedly overseeing preparations, running and gossiping with a friend, free to bite back for once, free to let her thoughts indulge silly details or observations that don't specifically serve to protect her from harm.
Alayne loved it here. She felt alive again, for the first since her father… since Lord Eddard Stark had died. [...]
Not to be outdone, the pimply knight hopped up and said, "Ser Ossifer speaks truly, you are the most beautiful maid in all the Seven Kingdoms." It might have been a sweeter courtesy had he not addressed it to her chest. "And have you seen all those maids yourself, ser?" Alayne asked him. "You are young to be so widely travelled." [...]
Myranda rolled her eyes. "They're from the Sisters. Did you ever know a Sisterman who could joust? They clean their swords with codfish oil and wash in tubs of cold seawater." "Well," Alayne said, "at least they're clean." "Some of them have webs between their toes. I'd sooner marry Lord Petyr.  [...] She danced with all three Sunderlands, none of whom had webs between their fingers, though she could not vouch for their toes. [...]
And there he stood, Harry the Heir himself; tall, handsome, scowling. [....]
"And is Ser Harrold with them?" Horrible Ser Harrold. "He is." [...]
Ser Harrold had the grace to blush. "Her father says she is more precious to him than gold. He's rich, the richest man in Gulltown. A fortune in spices." "What will you name the babe?" she asked. "Cinnamon if she's a girl? Cloves if he's a boy?" That almost made him stumble. "My lady japes." "Oh, no." Petyr will howl when I tell him what I said.
Alayne is the Sansa that she could have been all this time, the girl who liked to giggle and be silly with Jeyne Poole, had no great issue holding her own in conversation, who drew pleasure and energy from the world around her.
I mean, we know she is playing a role and based Alayne partially on Jon Snow... but that girl there is not a terse and moody grump. She's not even a lean shadow laughingly racing to the bridge with his brother. She is a highborn lord's daughter, inhabiting the center of attention with confidence like she was born to it. Like Sansa.
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writergirl2011 · 6 months ago
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I got tagged by @musing-and-music!! Thanks!! 😊 So here goes...
Story I'm proudest of...
Argh. That would be so unfair to the other stories I've written. But if I had to choose, it would be the baseball story, Diamond in the Rough simply because I always wanted to write about baseball and finally found the perfect pairing for it! Not to mention how much research went into the story.
Your story that's gotten the most love online...
Funny that this came up because this just overtook the baseball story for most hits--though to be honest, I probably would've put this anyway given that it actually got several mentions on Twitter during the 2022 J/B fic exchange: you who know what love is (lol, musing-and-music, you tagged me in this and our regency stories are the most popular!!)
Tease a current WIP or idea that you're currently working on...
Speaking of fic exchanges, I just started working on my very short story for the 2024 J/B fic exchange. So sorry, can't...oh, what the heck. Heeeeeere's...a little bit from the next story in the "A Girl for All Seasons" series!!
JAIME: I don’t know whether I’m going to kiss you or kill you next time I see you
TYRION: ahhh I see you talked to ros
JAIME: you didn’t think she’d keep that to herself did you
TYRION: guess not
TYRION: it was for your own good
TYRION: not to mention mine because if I had to listen to you moaning about your blue balls one more minute I was going to smother you in your sleep
TYRION: though now that I think about it that would’ve cured yoru problem too
Your top 3 fandoms...
I only have two. A Song of Ice and Fire and Bridgerton at the moment.
Your top three ships...
Jaime x Brienne, Eloise x Cressida (shut up) and I guess that's really it. If I had to have a third, it would probably be Sansa x Margaery since I've paired them off in some of my fics, but they're not the main focus of my stories and I don't write for them specifically.
Rec someone else's fic...
Yikes, there are far too many I want to rec, but I'm going with the story I received in this year's smut swap because I just love it to death: BT, Phone Home by @angelowl-fics. Brienne as an alien!!!! Jaime as her wannabe boy toy!!!! If you haven't read this already--go read it!!!!
Pick one!
Fluff or Angst: I don't think I write things that are especially fluffy. At the same time, I don't think my fics are super angsty for the most part. Dramatic at times? Sure, but angst--the part that really, really hurts--not so much. But I'll put angst because I do drift in that direction more often than fluff. Where's the "snark" option? That's definitely my speed.
Oneshots or longfics: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Was this even a question???????
Canon compliance or canon divergence: I think it depends on the canon. For example, I'm not great at writing canon fic for J/B, so I stick with mod AUs. I was better at writing canon fic in other fandoms, though. So I'd say that for now, canon divergence. But I'll read both.
AO3 or ff.net: I somehow completely missed the ff.net experience. AO3 all the way.
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megsironthrone · 1 year ago
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I Hate That I Don't Hate You (Part 1 of 2)
Based on this request:  Can I request a Jaime x reader. Maybe themed around 10 things I hate about you? Her as Kat and him as Patrick. She’s a Stark and maybe they can only pair off Sansa when reader is so they ask Jaime to charm her but they end up falling for each other?
Here you are, lovelies! *Familiar characters are NEVER mine!* Also, this was getting rather long, so I've split it into 2 parts.
Warnings: Modern/Movie based AU (10 Things I Hate About You), angst, a smidge of fluff.
Pairings/Characters: Jaime Lannister x fem!Stark reader, mentions of other Starks, Tyrion, and Podrick.
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Jaime stared at the two men in front of him. "Perhaps I misheard. You want me to…what?"
          "Ask Y/N Stark on a date." Jaime blinked in surprise before gazing around to see if he could spot you. This was not what he expected from today. At all. "Why?" he finally asked when he couldn't see you. The young man in front of him sighed. "A mutual acquaintance wants to go out with Sansa, but Sansa can't date until her older sister does. You're about the same age and seem like the kind of guy she'd go for."
          "What's in it for me?" Jaime asked. "What do you want?" Jaime let his eyes wander again. This time, he did spot you in the crowd. "Hold that thought," he replied before getting up to approach you. You friend spotted Jaime before you did and gestured in his direction. Your head snapped over to him.
          Jaime supposed, up close, you were rather attractive. For a Stark, anyway. As he drew nearer to you, you cocked a brow at him. "Is there a reason I'm being graced with all your glorious majesty this morning, Lannister, or am I just unlucky?" you snarked, earning a giggle from your friend who Jaime now recognized as Margaery Tyrell. Oh this was going to cost Tyrion and Podrick. Still, Jaime liked a challenge and you were certainly a challenge.
          When Jaime didn't reply, you simply rolled your eyes and turned away. Jaime walked back to Tyrion. "I do this, the two of you owe me. Big time. Y/N Stark is not a woman easily tamed." Both Tyrion and Podrick agreed and Jaime smiled. Let the fun begin.
*time skip. Your POV*
       "What the hells is Lannister's problem?" you grumbled, shoving the note into your locker before grabbing your books and slamming the door fiercely. You jumped at the sight of Jaime standing next to you yet again. You sighed loudly. Why wouldn't he just leave you alone? "My problem is that my charm seems to be failing me. I've been trying to get your attention for weeks now."
          "What do you want? Seriously, three weeks ago, you didn't even know my name and now you won't leave me be," you told him, exasperated. You began to walk away when his next words froze you in place. "I want to date you." You slowly turned to face him as your mouth hung open in shock. "You what?"
          "Just one date, Y/N. If you still hate me after, you'll never have to speak to me again." You narrowed your eyes at him. He was being suspiciously nice to you. Aside from Tyrion, most Lannisters avoided or hated your family. Still, you'd never had anyone else brave enough to ask you out. You thought about Sansa, who desperately wanted to date another boy in school but couldn't unless you dated first.
          You let out another long sigh and nodded. "Fine, Lan-Jaime. One date." The smirk on Jaime's face grew. You held up a hand to stop him from speaking, "BUT! I reserve the right to leave at any time." Jaime nodded. "Great. Pick you up Friday at 7." He jogged away before you could argue. You shook your head wondering what you'd just gotten yourself into.
          That Friday, you sighed as you waited for Jaime's car to pull into driveway. "Where are you going?" Sansa asked you. "Out, Sansa. On a…date." Sansa's face lit up with excitement. If you hit it off with your date, Sansa would be able to start dating. But when your date pulled up and she realized it was Jaime Lannister, her face fell. There was no way the two of you would get along well enough.
          "Jaime Lannister?" she asked quietly, but not quietly enough for your father not to hear.  "What about Jaime Lannister?"
          "Y/N's got a date with him," Sansa announced and you rolled your eyes. "A date?" Another sigh. "Yes, a date. He asked…more like begged, and I said yes. That's it. Nothing more." Before anyone could argue, the bell rang and you raced to answer it before any of your siblings could. When the door was open, you froze a little.
          Jaime Lannister was a good looking guy. There was absolutely no denying that. You'd be lying if you said you didn't notice before, but this was completely different.  You couldn't tell what it was, but he exuded confidence and something else that you felt guilty thinking about with your younger siblings in the room.
          It wasn't until Jaime cleared his throat that you realized you were staring. You glanced at his face to see that damned smirk of his gracing his lips yet again. "Let's go, Lannister. If this date's a bust, I'd like to be back home before my show comes on." Jaime laughed and offered his arm to you. You took it and let him lead you to his car as you mentally prepared yourself for a long night.
*Jaime's POV*
          Jaime did his best to impress you, but nothing seemed to work. You just weren't a easy nut to crack. You didn't trust people at all, but Jaime was determined to change that. He wasn't about to fail. Not when Tyrion was counting on him. Plus, you were the first woman to not give a damn about his family's influence or wealth. It was nice.
          As the night went on, however, you seemed to loosen up a bit. Jaime even got you to smile once. That was a win in his book considering how long it had taken just to get that. When Jaime pulled into your driveway after your date had come to an end, you shifted in your seat to face him as best you could.
          "Alright, Jaime. I have to admit that wasn't the complete disaster I thought it would be." Jaime chuckled, his voice filling the car. "High praise indeed, Miss Stark." Your rolled your eyes, but smiled at him again anyway. Jaime continued, "Would you want to do it again?" Your brows rose a little and you asked if he was sure he wanted to go out with you again.
          In that moment, Jaime swore you were one of the most adorable people he'd ever met. He had never seen you look so unsure. "Yeah. Why not? We had fun, I like your company. And your face isn't too bad either…when you're not scowling at me, that is." You playfully glared at him and sat in silence for a moment while you contemplated your answer. "I suppose one more date couldn't hurt. Just to make sure this was actually a good one." Jaime laughed again as you climbed out of the car.
          Your and Jaime's relationship seemed to advance quickly after that first date. And day-by-day, Jaime became more and more enamored by you. You were so much more than the frosty woman people thought you were. Underneath that icy exterior was a warm, kind, and compassionate person. You loved fiercely and loyally. You were also so intelligent, even helping Jaime with his coursework from time to time. Your quick wit and sharp tongue could even put Tyrion to shame sometimes. Jaime found himself falling head over heels in love with you. There was only one problem. His agreement with Tyrion.
          The guilt began to gnaw at Jaime the more time he spent with you. But it was only after your fifth date, when you let him kiss you, that Jaime decided enough was enough. To this very day, Jaime had no clue why he chose to confront Tyrion at school that day instead of at home. Maybe it was because Podrick was with him. But with just a few words, Jaime's world came crashing down.
          "The deal's off," he told the two younger men, "I won't do it anymore. I should have never agreed to it in the first place." Tyrion arched a brow and smirked. "Could it be that my dear brother has developed feelings for a certain Stark sister?"          
"Tyrion, this isn't a game. I don't care. You don't owe me anything. I was stupid to ask Y/N for a profit anyway." Tyrion didn't reply, his gaze somewhere behind Jaime. Jaime felt ice creep down his spine when, from behind him, he heard, "You asked me out…for a bribe?"
(a/n: I hope like it! The second part is almost finished and will hopefully be posted in a few days!)
Forever Tags: @fizzyxcustard @brewsthespirit-blog @etherealpotter @cd1242 @frozenhuntress67 @smalltownbigheart @gruffle1 @line-viper @supernatural4life2022
Jaime Lannister Tags: @faith-in-dean @bellarkeselection
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nobodysuspectsthebutterfly · 4 months ago
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#nobody is hating as efficiently you’ve got to hand it to him
Jon is actually evil like no one is safe from a read 😭
The king? Fatty
8 year old girl? Stupid and boring
Her 7 year old brother? Fat like his fat dad
The crown prince? Botched lip filler
Jon’s own brother? Stupid smile
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jackoshadows · 1 year ago
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Listening to AFfC and it's stands out how characters like Jon, Arya and Bran are considered unimportant or thought of as dead and gone and simply underestimated in a wider sense by the houses and characters of the South.
The Lannisters think Arya, Bran and Rickon dead and most don't think Jon Snow important as he's a bastard Lord Commander. Jaime does not even mention Jon by name and only advises the Blackfish that he can go to the Wall where Ned's bastard is LC.
Tyrion seems to have forgotten about his bff at the Wall and decides to not go there because of the likes of Slynt and Thorne. The Tyrells/Greyjoys/Martells make no mention of him or the other Starks.
Brienne also never mentions Jon by name - just refers to him once as the bastard half brother at the Wall where Sansa could have gone to and then abandons that prospect as the Wall is too far off and a 'bleak and bitter place'.
Jaime thinks that Arya is dead and sends Brienne off to get Sansa. Brienne is not actively looking for Arya. Even the almost omniscient Littlefinger has no idea that Arya, Bran and Rickon are alive and can throw a spanner in the works - how would he? Or that Robb has a decree naming Jon Snow KITN and Lord of Winterfell - unless one of the signatories and witnesses blabbed about the decree I don't see how LF can know about this.
This is interesting considering Jon Snow is actively helping Stannis against Lannister allies in the North and even rallies an army to go attack the Boltons. Surprisingly, it's only Cersei who considers Jon Snow a legitimate threat - kudos to her!
Jon Snow only comes to Cersei's attention because of Stannis at the Wall, however, she does consider him a threat as Ned Stark's son. Of course, she then hatches a wild plan at Qyburn's instigation to send some men all the way to the Wall to assassinate Lord Snow. Which, considering what does end up happening to Jon, may not have been such a bad plan after all lol.
It's also a demonstration of Cersei's narrow focus on the Starks where she takes the threat of Jon Snow seriously, while shrugging off the threat from the East - Dany and her dragons.
“One last thing, Your Grace,” said Aurane Waters, in an apologetic tone. “I hesitate to take up the council’s time with trifles, but there has been some queer talk heard along the docks of late. Sailors from the east. They speak of dragons .. .” “. . . and manticores, no doubt, and bearded snarks?” Cersei chuckled. “Come back to me when you hear talk of dwarfs, my lord.” She stood, to signal that the meeting was at an end. - Cersei, AFfC.
Considering that Tyrion will be joining up with Daenerys, Cersei is in for a shock and not too pleased when next she hears of the dragons...
One of the things I am looking forward to reading in the next couple of books if it ever comes out is the reactions from the characters down south to a KITN Jon Snow, or KITN Rickon Stark and Arya Stark at the head of a wolf army and Daenerys landing on Westeros with her dragons. Bran's arc of manipulating time and events or understanding the threat of the Others is going to remain secretive/unknown for some time yet is what I am guessing.
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daenystheedreamer · 4 months ago
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if i could shift I would introduce Sansa to tumblr queer discourse and Cersei to snark subreddits. it would fix them. I would kill Jamie
disagree. sansa to the snark subreddits and cersei to the queer discourse. tell me sansa wouldnt love hating on tradwives and cersei wouldnt thrive doxxing people over mogai discourse and modding an insane feudal RP discord server. i would introduce jaime to gay twitter and i mean like cock balls taint and hole gay twitter the jockstrap gay twitter
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amplifyme · 9 months ago
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The Hound poured a cup of wine for Arya and another for himself, and drank it down while staring at the hearthfire. “The little bird flew away, did she? Well, bloody good for her. She shit on the Imp’s head and flew off.”
“They’ll find her,” said Polliver. “If it takes half the gold in Casterly Rock.”
“A pretty girl, I hear,” said the Tickler. “Honey sweet.” He smacked his lips and smiled.
“And courteous,” the Hound agreed. “A proper little lady. Not like her bloody sister.”
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“It’s almost as good as if some wolf killed your traitor brother. Maybe I’ll feed him to wolves after I’ve caught him. Did I tell you, I intend to challenge him to single combat?” “I should like to see that, Your Grace.” More than you know.
When she heard that the Imp had sent Lord Slynt to the Wall, she had forgotten herself and said, “I hope the Others get him.” The king had not been pleased.
The king leafed through it with no interest. “And what is this, Uncle?” A book. Sansa wondered if Joffrey moved those fat wormy lips of his when he read.
“The damned thing’s as tall as I am,” Tyrion muttered in a low voice. “Half a chalice and Joff will be falling down drunk.” Good, she thought. Perhaps he’ll break his neck.
“Harrenhal has withered every hand to touch it.” “Then give it to Lord Frey.”
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sherlokiness · 2 years ago
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Why don't you think about sanctimonious Daenerys saying she's the rightful Queen of the IT because of her claim but when she discovers she's not, it doesn't matter all of a sudden? The people have an alternative leader who is loved and has the right claim but she's too greedy. She thinks Jon Snow should continue to live his life as a bastard and live that lie without even his family knowing.
I want to say it again but a power hungry usurping bitch like Daenerys will have little problem getting rid of a bastard. She could kill Jon Snow quietly and it will raise few alarm bells. Killing Aegon Targaryen on the other hand...well, that's a little harder to do. Let's say thank you Sansa Stark for having the foresight to protect your cousin.
I knew Daenerys' death was sealed when she snarked Sansa with "whatever they want." It's either her or Sansa in the end. My girl has very little death foreshadowing so you just know Dany had to go.
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atopvisenyashill · 1 year ago
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aegon vi x sansa
when you’re fucking the same guy and that guy is your mutual half brother.
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anyways this exists in my mind as like “asoiaf but more overtly subtextually gay” where aegon/jon is show!visaemon levels of intense but jonsa still happens. those two are straight up secret married in front of a weirwood and bran officiating as a crow, then jon gets sent as an envoy to treat with the hot new claimant to the iron throne and immediately falls ass deep into another identity crisis surrounding wanting to bang his sibling. enter sansa, who does not like aegon’s weird incest vibes bc HIS are rancid, hers are fine bc it’s not incest anymore thanks very much, just absolutely managing to third wheel this burgeoning targaryen mutually assured destruction spiral through the power of passive aggressive messages alone. becoming fond of each other solely bc of their relationship with jon (see “what you did for her is the only reason i’m not killing you” but apply it to sansa/aegon snarking at each other over jon). this will never happen tho so it only exists in my mind!!!!
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ginger-danica-snapps · 2 years ago
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Lovely Sansa. Originally part of a Northern Winter Festival short fic I scrapped. It didn't ring right in read through but I enjoyed the images. Saw some snark from some anti's earlier specifically about winter roses and it reminded me they were in my art folder :)
So....
Thank you.
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whitedragonwolf4961 · 1 year ago
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@snowlealee You know this moron and others think Dany just “burns alive” anyone who doesn’t bend the knee to her. But I wonder… what do they think Jon and Sansa would do to any Northern lord who didn’t bend the knee to them? Hmm? After all… didn’t Sansa want to punish Alys Karstark and Ned Umber for their fathers’ betrayal? Oh and Dany gave Randyll and Dickon Tarly the opportunity to bend the knee and keep their lands and titles… despite the fact that they betrayed her ally Olenna Tyrell. Would Jon and Sansa have given Harold Karstark and Smalljon Umber the chance to bend the knee and keep their titles or refuse and die? Or would they have simply executed them for treason? I think the latter is more likely. And like I said this scene was written to make Sansa look like such “a smart political genius” who understand armies need to be fed, despite the fact Dany is a Queen and a military leader who would obviously know that she has to keep her people fed. Hell, in the books she is thinking about keeping her people from starving. But you and I both know Show Sansa is D&D’s little pet and she has to be smarter than everyone so to do that, they dumb everybody else down and have Sansa point out the obvious.
Stark Stans like that guy seem to think the North was some sort of utopia before the Targaryens “colonized” it. Mmm… nope. First the Starks’ ancestors slaughtered the natives, the Children, and actually colonized the land. Then the Starks conquered the North, not by being nice and generous, but by wiping out rival kings and their bloodlines and taking the daughters as “prizes”. And then there’s what they did to the Warg King and his daughters. The Starks have good members but they were also ruthless and that’s how they became the Kings of the North. Not by “consent of the governed” like Show Stark stans and anti Targaryens seem to think. Not to mention the North actually benefited from the Targaryens because they no longer had to worry about Southern invasions now that they were part of a united country. And in the winters they could ask for food and supplies. Also the Targaryens allowed them to keep to themselves. Keep to their religion and culture and traditions. They did however abolish the First Night because that was allowing lords to rape common women on their wedding nights.
And as for the “implied threat”… Sansa was not asking a legitimate question. She was simply making it clear how unhappy she was having “foreigners and outsiders” in her home and acting like they’re gonna be a burden and not the only thing that will save them from certain death. Dany never made any threats. She simply snarked back at the rude host. Aren’t guests supposed to be treated with respect?
I just learned a new (well new for me) take about that dumb show Sansa and Dany scene with the “What do dragons eat” bs. This guy thinks Sansa was asking a legitimate question and not being a rude host while Dany is a terrible diplomat who is making an implied threat because Sansa isn’t kissing her boots. And that Dany isn’t there out of the goodness of her heart but because she’s scared and knows that the Others will kill her if they get past the North. And this moron, they were on Instagram, thinks Sansa is just a good “leader” who wants the North free from “Targaryen tyranny” because of the ratio of 6 out of 17 Targaryen rulers being “mad” (obviously this person didn’t read the lore). Sansa stans and Dany antis keep inventing new moronic ludicrous ways to defend their fave and shit on Dany. Sansa, and of course this is just bad writing to make Sansa look “smart”, should have known Jon was coming home with more people. And Dany, as a leader and ruler, would have known to bring her own food for her army. But of course D&D want Sansa to “look smarter than everyone” by having her be a rude whiny host and start a cat fight with the other powerful woman.
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Yeah, I think Instagram!Stansa needs to rewatch that scene.
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There we go! :) So... I want to know what about this delivery was genuine? Because all I'm seeing is snark. I don't even have to go into "subtle facial expressions" and mIcRoaGgReSsIOnS ;) But let's continue!
Yes, Dany, the "terrible diplomat". Didn't the Unsullied choose to follow her from Astapor to Westeros after she freed them? Now, I know Dany antis love to argue, "They dIdN'T hAvE anYwHeRe eLsE tO gOoO oR anY oThEr cArEeR oPTIoNs sO iS iT rEaLLy FrEeDoM?" Yes, yes it is, but that's a post covered by other people better than I. Also, then how do you explain smallfolk and their "career options"? And at least she was able to convince Highgarden, Dorne, and the Yara's faction of the Iron Islands onto her side and all on her own steam. Highgarden and Dorne may have joined Dany looking for revenge against the Lannister regime but Dany had honest-to-god face-to-face conversations with those leaders that won them over. And Dany was able to win Yara over on discussion alone, Yara -- a famously stubborn Iron Islander -- who stayed loyal to Dany to the end. Sansa? The Vale's forces came to the Starks' aid thanks to Littlefinger. And middleman Littlefinger arranged that thanks to his perverted attraction to Sansa because of her resemblance to her Tully mother. Littlefinger even takes credit for that in his one scene with Jon in 7x02. Sansa successfully manages to piss off House Mormont and House Glover on the Northern tour in 6x07 before shitting on the one person (Davos) who was able to convince the only Northerners onto their side on-screen. Oh wait, oh wait, yes, Lord Royce decided the Vale forces came "for [Sansa]" in 7x05 while he, Lord Glover and the Northern lords had that casually treasonous conversation about overthrowing Jon for Sansa. Jon, their king, whom they elected only six episodes earlier. (Hey hey, remember when Lord Glover was all like: "House Glover will stand behind House Stark as we have for a thousand years. And I will stand behind Jon Snow... THE KING IN THE NORTH!" The North remembers, hey?)
And Sansa just listens and watches this proposed coup against her beloved brother with a smile before she calls them very kind (diplomacy!!!) and says Jon is doing what he thinks is best (getting crucial help against an ever encroaching extinction level event but agree to disagree, right Jon?) ....before Arya emerges from the shadows and is all like, "Diplomacy? Bullshit. You just want them on your side in case Jon doesn't come back."
And the script verifies ✅ And yeah, feeding armies -- not sure how Stansas think Dany's armies and dragons were fed on the journey there... I think Sansa may have a bit of a memory problem because Jon specifically told Sansa before he left for Dragonstone in 7x02:
We know that dragonglass can destroy both White Walkers and their army. We need to mine it and turn it into weapons. But more importantly, we need allies. The Night King's army grows larger by the day. We can't defeat them on our own. We don't have the numbers. Daenerys has her own army, and she has dragonfire. I need to try and persuade her to fight with us. Ser Davos and I will ride for White Harbor tomorrow, then sail for Dragonstone.
Yet Sansa acts like Dany and her armies' arrival is:
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And yet the Stansa response to this is...
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As for Dany coming North to fight the Others, yeah, she made that vow even before Jon gave her his fealty. As soon as Dany saw the Night King and the army of the dead were real, and as soon as Jon woke up (whom she searched and waited for after he fell below the ice surrounded by wights), Dany vowed to defeat the Night King and his army of the dead. She required nothing of Jon and asked nothing of Jon. Dany was determined to eliminate this threat from the world.
I will argue from a practical standpoint that the smart thing for Dany to do (and Jon and... any leader including Sansa) would probably be to help fight the Others before they start decimating Westeros. The army of the dead would be at its smallest at that point and the living would have its best chance before the AotD started adding corpses to its ranks as it killed its way through the continent. Even if Dany (or Euron) went back to Essos or their island (and I don't know if D&D considered this), water freezes like it did in 7x06 (...D&D). It'd take a while for the Narrow Sea to freeze, I'd imagine, I don't know the extent of the Night King's powers (I don't know if D&D really cared...) but if D&D (or GRRM) wanted.... yeah. This was one of my arguments against the Jonsas' popular Pol!Jon reasoning that, "Jon only sexed Dany up to keep her on side to fight the Night King! Otherwise, her distracted thirst!bot tyrant brain would go right back to fighting Cersei! Jon's dick is the only thing that can keep her under control!!1" (Because it's okay for Sansa to be concerned about Cersei in 7x01 but not Dany, no no no, even though Dany is actively engaged in war with Cersei...) However, when did Dany ever show fear at the prospect of fighting them? And would that at all be unreasonable? THEY'RE ZOMBIES. THEY'RE A GIANT ARMY OF ICE ZOMBIES CAPABLE OF ENDING HUMAN EXISTENCE. IT'S SMART TO BE AFRAID!
And what did Ned say about bravery and being afraid? Further, Dany was the one fighting them out there! She wasn't the one, hiding in the crypts, bitching about the woman, flying on dragonback, literally tackling the Night King! Dany was the one f i g h t i n g!
Dany has own non-Jon reasons to fight the Night King. Practicality, the Night King killed her baby, and Westeros is the country she wants to rule.
Speaking of Westeros, I don't imagine Dany would be comfortable leaving Westeros to that horrible, nightmarish fate. This is the country she wants to better, and to leave in a better place. She can't do that with the Night King turning her citizens into zombies. Zombies suck for quality of life. Finally, as for Targaryen "tyranny", I'd love to know where they pulled their "mad Targaryen/rulers" numbers from. I'd also love to know what they think of the Starks' own history too, their wars against the Children of the Forest, and how they feel about Westeros's feudalism in general which the Starks are very much a part of :) Maybe it needs reminding that Sansa is a feudal leader. Sansa has demanded House Glover and House Mormont honour their original oaths of fealty to House Stark despite House Glover and House Mormont experiencing significant personal losses in the Red Wedding thanks to Robb breaking his oath to House Frey. Despite House Stark losing the North and it returning to the Iron Throne under the Lannister regime. Sansa has also demanded Jon force the wildling refugees he helped save to fight for Winterfell. The 5,000 homeless wildling refugees on the run from the Night King, 3,000 of whom are children and old people. Funny how that is virtually never brought up, isn't it? I wonder how Skagosi feel about House Stark.
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leupagus · 8 months ago
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A Gale of Wolves, Chapter 9: Tyrion
"What about House Stark?" Daenerys asked. "This second wife whose victory in the North you're so willing to bet on."
An excellent question. "Sansa won't oppose you," Tyrion said, "but she won't back you. Not at first. She won't be able to; even if she beats the Boltons—"
"Which you've wagered she will."
"—which I would wager, had I anything more than these somewhat threadbare garments to my name," he agreed. "Retaking Winterfell won't be enough; Sansa will then have to hold it, and that might require a different bet altogether. My sister Cersei will send the Lannister forces to bring Sansa back to King's Landing with all due haste. Alive or in pieces, though preferably both. Then there are the Greyjoys, who still hold a fair number of castles and keeps on the western coast along the Bay of Ice. Balon still thinks he can be King of the Iron Islands and the King in the North."
"Isn't that what Robb Stark called himself?" she asked, leaning her elbow on the table and putting her chin on her hand. She was young — about the same age as Jaime and Cersei had been at the start of the Rebellion — but something in her gaze reminded him of this library: vast stores of knowledge, being neatly catalogued and put away for future reference. "The King in the North. Will your Sansa Stark take the same title?"
Sansa Stark was not (and never truly had been) his, but he suspected Daenerys's label was an ironical one. "I don't know," he answered, "but she'll want as much independence for her people as possible. King's Landing hasn't dealt with the North kindly — not even during Robert's reign, and certainly not during your father's."
It was heartening to see her dip her head in acknowledgement at that. Tyrion thanked whatever gods might be listening for Barristan Selmy, who would have told her the truth about Aerys's brutal murder of Sansa's grandfather and uncle: the fire that had burned up the whole of the Seven Kingdoms before Daenerys was ever born.
"It seems she'll have quite enough on her hands for the present moment," Daenerys observed, "without bending the knee to a new queen."
"Give her a year and she'll have the North sorted," he promised, "but now? Enemies to the south, enemies to the west — she's too surrounded to do you much good."
Daenerys looked thoughtful. "Enemies to the north as well, from what I understand."
Tyrion rolled his eyes. "Yes, the fearsome wildlings. Along with White Walkers and giants and mammoths and snarks and grumkins."
"Snarks and grumkins?" she asked, puzzled.
"Fairy stories, Your Grace. Ones the Night's Watch often swear they've seen just north of the Wall, and will bravely dispatch if only we send them more money and men and supplies." He felt a momentary pang of guilt in saying it; Jon Snow at least had been a good lad, and disinclined to indulge in the same hyperbole as his brothers in black. But he was surely dead by now.
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