#sanji has no rizz

[legend-had-it]

luffy got that accidental rizz

nami zoro and usopp got that purposeful rizz

[shaplesbean]

I need to like actually make fanart eventually but i keep thinking about them

[julissart]

Lovesick Sanji 💕

Ko-Fi

[beanghostprincess]

Usopp just casually flirting with Sanji thinking he has no chance with him and assuming that flirting will do nothing so he keeps doing it kind of as a joke and Sanji literally having the biggest bisexual crisis of his life every time Usopp speaks, is one of my favorite things ever

[sunbudc]

the funniest part about usokaya being canon is considering sanji finding out at some point. do you think he would die on the spot

[fanaticsnail]

Sanji in his little "Kiss the Cook" apron.

Is it romantic? Starting as a joke with kisses on the cheek and temple until the two of you end up full on making out?

Or is it platonic? With the straw hats giving him little kisses in passing, starting with Luffy and spreading through the crew until even Zoro relents? Because what's better than kissing the homies goodnight?

You tell me snail, what's the move?

-♡♡ lots of love

"porque no los dos?"

Kiss the Cook

Masterlist here

Word Count: 1,700+

Synopsis: Sanji was gifted an apron from Nami after returning back from town. Every member of the crew aside from Zoro and you have followed the embroidered instructions written on his chest, and he wasn't happy about the lack of kisses from you. You finally relent and give him what he wants.

Themes: platonic kisses, fluff, implied f!reader - but can be read as gn!reader, sanji has feelings for you, you have unspoken feelings for sanji, idiots in love, Sanji has lost that 'line-cook rizz'.

Notes: This has been in my ask box for less than a day. I don't know what it is about you, anon. As soon as I see those two little hearts I'm just overtaken by something. I blame the "kisses". @chikariart on twitter.

Tag list: @mfreedomstuff @daydreamer-in-training @sordidmusings @since-im-already-here @indydonuts @feral-artistry @gingernut1314 @i-am-vita @writingmysanity

“Could these onions misbehave any more?” the chef grumbled under his breath, gritting his teeth and clamping hard down on his cigarette, “C’mon, now. What have I gotta do to get your layers off? Talk dirty to you?” He used the steel edge of his knife to attempt to pry the brown outer layer away from its fleshy underside with shaking hands. 

Sanji’s nerves were ignited, his whole composure on edge and waiting for the next intrusion in his kitchen and potential distraction from his work. 

When Nami brought the frilly pink apron his way, he was initially ecstatic at the notion he was thought of enough to be given a little gift. But as the red embroidery with white stitched hearts expressed consent for his body to be given sweet kisses at all times, he was truly alert. With an assault of affection from all who approached him each time he adorned the fabric in its wake, he was finding it difficult to focus on each mundane kitchen task. 

In this case, peeling onions was the bane of his existence. As the flickered peel almost withdrew from the circular bulb, it split and only chipped off a small amount of the outer layer. 

Sanji loved kisses, adored kisses: all the cheek, forehead and shoulder kisses he'd received from the crew. Cheeky Nami kisses, soft Robin kisses, and nibbled toothy kisses from Chopper were his favorites. 

He was less enthusiastic about hulking, wet kisses from Franky, nor the hungry cheek kisses from Luffy which was used to depict the state of his appetite. Usopp was the middle ground, his kisses were a tease on his shoulder with a rough clap and a gaggle of laughter immediately thereafter.

Brook’s kisses were actually quite funny to the blonde cook. As the skeleton man had no lips to kiss with, he resigned himself to the notion of simply walking past him, and taunting him with a melodic hum of the words: “kiss,” “kisses,” or an emphatic ���mwah,” as he did so.

Of the members of the remaining crew, he was happy that the stinky moss-head kept his lips to himself. There was no way he would allow him the closer proximity to his body without starting a sparring match. He was, however, not so happy that you were yet to place your lips sweetly on the apple of his cheek. 

Sanji adored you, wanted to treat you with the utmost respect and dote on you alongside the other members of the crew. You were special to him, and he rationalized that his small crush was why he was craving a scrap of your attention so much. As he continued cursing at the onions, he heard a soft tap on the doorway to the kitchen. 

“Need help, cook?” Sanji looked up, noticing you leaning on the side of the door. He smiled softly at you, biting back his smile and gulping his insecurity. 

“Oh, beautiful angel,” he managed to turn away from the counter and look out the window as he resumed his battle with the onions, “I'm all good here, don't you worry yourself. Go relax with the others.” You clicked your tongue and stepped closer to the bench and stood a few feet away from the blonde cook. 

Noticing his posture, you knit your brows in puzzlement. He was twitching while he was going about his peeling, finally managing to coax the shell away from the exterior and sigh in relief. His cheeks were tinted a soft shade of pastel pink, his nose the most darkened by the blushy hue. 

Looking down, the frilly pink apron with ‘Kiss the Cook,’ held the final piece of information as to his nervous composure. You smiled softly at him, looking to where his hands skillfully minced the onions and threw them into a scorching pot with molten butter and aromatic herbs. 

He rinsed his hands in the sink, lathering them with soapy froth and soaking the suds with glassy water. The scent from the pot of sweetened onions with rosemary, sage and thyme had your mouth salivating in anticipation of what was to come. 

“What's cooking, good looking?” you smiled at him softly, gesturing with your chin to the pot on the stove. He froze up, his ears tinting darker with the shade of pink. 

“J-Just a mirepoix,” he stuttered out, prompting you to shake your head and offer him a soft laugh in response. Taking the extinguished cigarette out of his lips, he placed the butt in the bin beneath the sink. 

Noticing the tension in his body, you reach up and place a hand on his shoulder to urge him to turn to face you. He meets his gray orbs with yours, a sheepish look on his face as you gaze up into his eyes. 

“You've been off the line for too long, Sanji,” you scrunch your nose up playfully at him, “Lost that flirtatious kitchen charisma and banter, blushing like a bride at the most simple of compliments. What's going on with you?” You graze your fingers along his jaw, leaving a rising layer of goose flesh in its wake. 

“I-It’s-...” Sanji gulped his nerves back, hanging his head with a soft laugh and subtle shake in response, “...It's this stupid apron.” You look down at the apron with a smirk. 

“What about the ‘stupid apron’, Sanji?” you ask with a raised brow before gazing back into his eyes, “Not your color?” He continued smiling and shaking his head at you before looking up through his eyelashes into your questioning and puzzled eyes. 

“To be honest with you,” he sucked his bottom lip between his teeth to halt his words from sounding too eager, “I actually love it. Even though it started as a joke, it has actually made a big difference the way I’ve been feeling lately.” He shrugged, turning his eyes back to the ground and snickering, “Stupid, right?” 

Cupping his face, you elevate his head and hum at him in deep contemplation. 

“Not stupid,” you shrug at him, darting your eyes between his and flickering your gaze down to his lips, “Not stupid at all.” His breath hitched in his throat, eyes beginning to fill with hope as you drew your face ever closer to his. 

Closing his eyes, he parted his lips and anticipated feeling yours brush with them. His heart beat in his throat, his ears hearing that drum of hope ringing with his elevated pulse. As he drew his face closer still, the balloon of anticipation was instantly deflated as he felt your lips brush with the apple of his cheek and linger for less than a single second. 

As you withdrew from his cheek, Sanji was left feeling like a complete idiot. He stared vacantly, directly ahead with unblinking eyes and his ego completely deflated. His heart fizzled out like a flame being snuffed by a wet blanket. 

Looking at his vacant expression and the soft blush on his cheeks, you couldn’t help yourself. A single, timid kiss was not enough of an indulgence to grant to the blonde cook, in your opinion. You leaned forward once more, pressing a soft kiss on his angular jaw before pressing another on his neck above his pulse and beneath his ear lobe. 

Sanji’s breath hitched, his hands opening and closing in clenched fists and shaking extensions. Gasping, he leant his head to the side and whimpered at the soft touches you were pressing into his skin. His pulse quickened, his breath hitched, and his eyes clenched tightly shut as he argued with himself where to place his hands on you. 

Trailing your lips down to his collarbone, you pressed a sweet and gentle kiss against the bone before clamping your teeth down onto the flesh. Sanji mewled in pleasure at the attention, throwing his head back and drawing up his forearm to his face to catch the damp blood from exiting his nose. His head was dizzy, his lips parting and whining as he felt your tongue swirl around the soft bite to his collar. 

Pulling away from him, you sucked your lips into your mouth and bit-back your smile at his reaction. He slowly drew his eyes down to meet yours, the irises eclipsed by blown pupils and his desire. Giggling at him, you tilted your head to the side and clasped your hands behind your back and rocked on your feet. 

Sanji surged his body forward, claiming your cheeks beneath his hands and carding his fingers through your hair the moment his lips descended onto yours. You squeaked in response, immediately placing your hands on Sanji’s hips as he pinned you against the sink with his hips. His kisses were needy, desperate and full of desire. 

As he rotated his chin to deepen the oscillation, you reached up to his shoulder and tapped it twice while gasping in his mouth. He tugged himself away, looking down at you in shock with wide eyes and panting breath.

“I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he began to hastily relay his apologies, “I didn’t mean to do that, truly. The other kisses I get from the crew are usually a little more hasty and less indulgent. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything, honest-.”

“-Sanji,” you laugh at him, looking up through half-hooded lashes and brushing your nose with his, “Your mirepoix is going to burn.” 

Immediately, Sanji broke himself away from you and stomped over to the large pot. He grumbled as he stirred the aromatics with a wooden spoon, growling under his breath, “This stupid apron has been nothing but a complete distraction.” You giggled at him as he aggressively began stirring at the pot to salvage the caramelizing vegetables. 

“That’s it,” he tore the apron away from his chest and cast it to the side, “No more kisses in the kitchen. I refuse to have good food spoil because I’ve been getting distracted by soft kisses… sweet kisses…” he trailed off, fishing around in his pocket for a cigarette after he rotated the vegetables within the butter. 

Shaking your head, you go and retrieve the apron from where he cast it aside and hung it over the kitchen table. Eyeing him over mischievously, you walk over to him and hold his hips firmly from behind and place one more soft kiss between his shoulder blades. 

“Come find me when you want to put on that stupid apron again, hm?” you utter, releasing his hips and making your way over to the kitchen doorway and out of the room with haste. 

Sanji shook his head with a warm smile and a dark blush. Looking to where you had just left, he sighed deeply and began to focus solely on the meal preparation with no more cause for distraction.

[raggedyflowers]

“When you try to rizz them up”

summary: one piece character reacting at you (trying) to rizz them up. it’s my first time writing smut so … don’t look at me I’m shy (may delete later)

character: Ace, Law, Sanji, Zoro x female reader

cr: NSFW 🔞, heavily flirting, suggestive words, semi public sex

Ace:

Drinking with Ace was not a smart idea ‘cause while the alcohol went directly on your brain, it seemed that Ace burned it as soon as it touched his lips. So it’s not a big surprise when at the end of the evening you were drunk, but he was perfectly fine. “So” you smirked at him, with a courage you usually didn’t have. “You catch fire only to the fist or even up the elbow?” it was such a dumb line that you should’ve feel embarrassed even if drunk, but Ace found it endearing. “You are so out your mind right now, y/n” he told you, helping you get to your room. “You make me out of my mind” you kept going, ignoring his laughter. “Whatever you say” he respond to you. “Usually I’m better at flirting” you mumble to yourself. “You’re going great, why don’t you try when your sober?” he asked you with a smirk, leavening you at the door at yours room without words. The next time you hanged out together, Ace kept an eye on you. “Try to remain sober this time, y/n” he winked at you. “I really wanna satisfy your curiosity”.

that night he did satisfy your curiosity… and not just that

you two found your way to Ace’s room and then he showed you how fast he can warm up the situation

He let you sit on his face and he spent the night eating you out

Law:

Your relationship with Law has always been private and even if someone could have said that he was cold with you, you know behind closed door Law was nothing but a loving and caring partner. It didn’t stop you to try to rizz him up in front of the rest of the Heart Pirates. You loved seeing him blushing, but most of all you loved what did come after. “You don’t need to use your devil fruit” you said to a confused Law. “You already have my heart”. You look satisfied the red cheek of your boyfriend who shock his head. “Why are you like that, y/n-ya?” he asked talking over the laughter of your crewmates. “Like what?” you asked innocently. “I just want you to shamble my organs with your dic —” you never finished the sentence since Law grabbed your arms and took you away.

“You already stopped being a brat, eh y/n-ya?” he asked after pinned you at the wall as soon as you two have entered in his room

You could’ve just bite your tongue for keeping your moans low

“Ah-ah” he said while slowly tracing your entrance with his tattooed fingers. “Don’t stop talking now. Let everyone hear you like before”

And then he push his fingers inside of you and you couldn’t do nothing but scream his name

Needles to say your organs were actually shambled that night

Sanji:

“You should wear the burgundy suit more often” you said to Sanji taking him aback. “Mmh?” he asked you, stopping cutting the vegetables. “I need something pretty to look at”. You always said things like that to him, joking mostly, but not entirely. And you loved seeing his cheek turning red after you called him pretty. “Move please, pretty boy” you said one day passing near to him and grabbing his waist to move him. “Y/n ~ ” he mumbled covered by your laugh. “Pretty, really?” he asked you and you cupped his check. “The prettiest” you said to him. “Not as pretty as you, my love” he told you back. “Wanna show me how much pretty you can be for me” you asked him with a mischievous smile.

he did show you how pretty he is

with his red cheek and sweet smile while he pounded into you

“you are the prettiest” he said you groping your breast while he kept his pace. “taking my cock so well”

but really he was the prettiest boys, especially when he lowered himself and started eating you out

Zoro:

One of your favourite activities on the Sunny was watching Zoro work out. You pretended to read a book but your eyes couldn’t help but to lingering on his sweaty body. “Your book is upside down” he said to you with a smirk. “Really?” you asked, without an ounce of shame. “Are you training on the forth swords styles?” Zoro looked at you with confusion. “You know, the other sword in your — ” you pointed at his pants. He smirked. “Wanna found out?” he smirked again.

he actually spent all night “practicing” with his forth sword

you never been more happy to indulge him

“do you like my sword style?” he asked you while keeping the brutal pace pounding into you

you wanted to say yes, but couldn’t form a single thought

[aaabatteriez]

candid sanji (in love) ᯓᡣ𐭩

⁺˖ not a writer btw just madly in love with sanji and in love with the idea of sanji being in love ☝️

ᡣ𐭩₊˚.⋆⁺₊ ,,

since sanji is naturally flirty towards any young beautiful woman that walks by hes probably become very used to how hes normally treated by women / how he himself sees them.

like whenever he makes advances hes used to getting turned down or not rlly taken seriously but hes ok with that cuz sanji is number 1 ladies man. all he wants is to see women plural, hes not rlly a man who wants to settle down (not including wci that was lowkey forced marriage). hes a little bit of a player right? like hes a flirt to everyone not just one person.

but i think what would happen to sanji when he meets and gets to know someone and he realises that his feelings for that one person wasnt "wow you're pretty i wanna flirt with you too" but instead "i think i'm madly in love with who you are as a person and you're so beautiful that I will glady lay my heart out for you right now and spend the rest of my life with you and only you and id want nothing else" it genuinely scares him.

like he is TERRIFIED.

hes sure hes said something along those lines to other girls before.. but has he actually felt the weight of those words?? the burden of a heart that is so willing to be given to another?? not until now.

but that fear (AHHH!! AHH!! i was sooo scared!!!) doesnt compare to how he'd feel when that person tells him they would like all of that and would be willing to do the same for him.

dont misunderstand now, hes really really happy BUT HES ALSO SHAKING IN HIS BOOTS BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK??? 😭😭 ARE U FR??

he doesnt know what to do because no one has ever felt that way towards him before, and he hasnt felt this strongly about someone else before either

hes so happy but so so scared he's going to mess this up so he tries extra hard to be his usual self, the smooth talking romantic he always is

but it totally backfires cause all of his senses are heightened to the max and hes so fleeping nervous he cant think straight

charisma?? what is a charisma.

all his previous flirty remarks and witty pickup lines?? OUT THE WINDOW. hes tripping all over his words and there's a big ol lump in his throat that wont go away no matter how many times he gulps down hard and coughs

doesnt know what to do with his hands

instead of the smoothly rizzed up buttery sexy tone sanji puts on when he speaks, he sounded like a squeaky door hinge and at the same time he also sounds like hes sick with the flu

insert random silence

so fucking awkward. awkward silence. awkward punchline.

doesnt know what to do with his hands x2

forgets how to hold someone

is this okay?? is this really okay?? (as his hands are visibly shaking)

no cause his lovely lady would have to do all the initial physical contact and flirting before he can finally be an alpha and be a man and take initiative

again he just didnt wanna mess up

hes so worried about that person losing interest in him that he tries to act as his very best but it falls flat from feeling insecure / fear (ahhh!! ahh!! ok sorry ill stop)

abandonment issues!

oh he probably got real drunk and cried himself to sleep too aft messing up trying to flirt for the 1010929292938399th time

a lil bit of a pathetic man

but one who doesnt give up HES READY TO TRY AGAIN!!!

fails x2

₊ ⊹

・゜゜・．・゜゜・・゜゜・．・゜゜・．

[writingoddess1125]

How They Lost their Virginity

Luffy, Sanji, Zoro, Shanks, Mihawk, Buggy

I'm on crack- I'm sorry

Back to Masterlist <<<

Support me on Ko-Fi

Luffy

He was 'tricked' by a Food stall worker-

Ah Luffy- The 'I'd rather eat then anything else' type of guy.

Luffy despite what most would think, he knows what sex is and blah blah- He just doesn't care about it. So when the opportunity comes his way to have sex with someone he will accept if he's bored enough.

So when a food stall worker was flirting with him while he was getting a meat on the stick, as well as a offer by the person for free food with just some Romp in the sheets. He accepts!

He got a great exercise plus a fantastic free meals whenever he stops by that village! Won't care that he gave his virginity away for the food- Not like he was using it anyway!

Sanji

Still a Virgin

HA YOU THOUGHT!

Zoro

With a Bartender

He had gotten lost- only a few years into his bounty hunting gig and still trying to figure it all out. However fortune was on his side and led him to a sleepy bar, were he chatted up the Bartender while they served him drinks.

Never having such chemistry with a person before. Drinking at the bar and chatting up the Bartender the whole night, which eventually lead to the two of them doing the frisky in the inn next door.

He'd left the next morning, but regretted it quite a bit-

He will never know exactly what bar that was so will think about thay Bartender all the time. Hoping one day the winds will bring him back to them for one of night-

Shanks

With a Dancer

It had been at a festival, not long after Roger's had been executed. He was young and wanted to distract himself from his anger and disappointment- drinking for the first time and ended up watching a street performer around his age.

Enamored by their beauty he used his charm to whoo them. Losing his virginity that night under the stars.

It had been magical for him, And he walked away from it all with a smile on his face and crushing on the dancer who had been with him.

Has a infinity for performers now, If a dancer catches his gaze he will he head over heels and will follow his youthful heart.

Mihawk

With a Member of the Marines

Young, Dumb and filled with sperm. Mihawk had lost his virginity in his mid/late teens to a cadet in the Marines. The two of them the same age, trying to act like adults and decided to do the deed together.

Innocent and awkward- However Mihawk walked away proud from him. If not flustered and embarrassed from it all.

Developed a liking of sleeping with the 'enemy' it is a thrill for him and especially if he can do a sneaky link say besides a bar he will.

Will still sometimes drop by and sleep with that furst Marine member if they are still around. Finds it is nostalgic-

Buggy

With a Sex Worker

This man has such Bad/Negative Rizz he had a hard time in his youth pulling a partner. Maybe it was his loud mouth, rude tendencies or awkward graces that made it hard for him- However he got tired of lying about his 'sexual escapades' and instead decided to just get to the real thing at the age of 20.

He ended up going to a well established brothel. Buggy paid a unholy amount of money for one of the best in the brothel- tried to mouth off at first but after some firm words from the worker piped down and followed their lead.

Learned quickly to respect sex workers and also learned a few new things about himself as well. 😳

Has great respect for the industry and visits them often since he likes them.

[daddiel-ish]

Back again thinking bought strawhats reactions to them

Sanji full denial luffy has more game than him only to come out of the kitchen mid rant about how this cannot be happening to see law subtly dragging luffy to her quarters ( she misses him alot and doesnt want to so any more public displays of affection)

((Also good luck with your exams))

Sanji will have to learn from Luffy how to rizz girls up (or a certain swordsman) 😮‍💨

And thanks ;;;;;; can't wait to do this exam to came back to draw more often ;;;

(I set this after they had their first child cause I think Sanji will still be not over it)

[as-i-watch]

Shame Sanji has no rizz bc him getting on with Hiyori after the little trick Momo pulled with Nami would've created such an hilarious situation

[thatweirdfandom]

my fix it one piece headcannons

(besides hot gay sex, proper skin tones ((this is also in the fix it)))

-sanji gets trapped on a rock for his timeskip- this is how he learns to skywalk and ends up on kambaka

just imagine one of the main horrible things that has ever happened to him and he’s back. how long is he going to have to wait? he’s stuck for how long? no. not this time. he spends almost a month there until he sky walks to the island

he doesn’t even have time to complain or whine about the people and the front he would put on. he’s safe and that’s what matters. they take care of him and he comes to have a depose understanding and appreciation for them

he wears the clothes because he doesn’t have anything else- but he learns how to sew and makes the best dresses and outfits later on

- ussop is actually the most comfortable out of everyone with his sexuality. he has THE RIZZ he picks up anyone and everyone just being his cute flirty self

- post skip (and i’ve mentioned this before) sanji, chopped and ussop all working together one meals, and medicine!

ussop island and knowledge of plants- he brings back and is able to grow medicinal herbs, cooking herbs ect ect

sanji has left over parts to his food that can’t be cooked so he learns how to turn them into herbs, soaps, practical things

- franky only upgraded his body again because it was failing him post skip. he got by in his city after the accident- but continuing in his form with all the battles, the straw hats get into only weared down what he had for a body

- robin and sanji would absolutely have met at some point during the timeskip. iva being a top leader in the revolutionary army? hell yeah.

i imagine that robin is also the first one to know about germa and sanjis connection he would have told her. they confide in each other about how they have a similar upbringing

- i also imagine germa being on the revolutionary army’s radar for their experiments, and how this could tie into ceaser earlier that the kid experiment was actually another way for judge to test things out

it just would have made more sense to bring it up earlier/ that doffy had a connection to judge too being a ex world noble teaming up with a next higher power that has a lot of pull and rank and aligns with his ideals

- look i have a lot of beef w sanji because he’s my blorbo but i would have loved if they actually included some lead up more to his tragic backstory pt2

LIKE THE EYEBROW SWIRL only the vinsmokes have this!! how tf didnt law notice this being a goddamn fanboy

- chopper shedding- he grows fur like a sheep and you gotta shave him

i just was ussop to make beds and coats from the fur

- sanji making special meals that have stat boosts like how chopper does a rumble ball they could work on something similar esp since luffy dries up like a raisin

pt 1/?

[beanghostprincess]

It's so funny to see everyone in this fandom simping for either Sanji or Zoro when canonically the one with more rizz is quite definitely Usopp. The first thing Kaya says is that she wants to see Usopp. She laughs at his jokes kicking her feet, blushing, giggling. He has her down bad, guys. And it's not only the rizz, this guy has the biggest heart in the world. Kaya is better than me because I would be a stuttering, blushing mess around this guy.

[bastardblvd]

submitted entries for the slimeball alley on bastard boulevard collab event. please be mindful of content warnings and boundaries set by authors. want to join? read our guidelines here.

KEY: 🦠 = NSFW ⚠️ = DARK CONTENT

"DOUBLE DOWN" by @ryndicate 🦠 ⚠️

fem reader x slimeball!hirofumi yoshida, reader x stepbro!denji

"didn't know you were into that kinda stuff."

"SAFETY FIRST" by @strawberrystepmom 🦠

fem restaurant manager!reader x fake OSHA inspector!jiraiya

when an inspector unexpectedly comes to your restaurant, you figure out how to get yourself out of trouble.

"A RIDE FOR A RIDE" by @thus-spoke-lo 🦠

afab reader x taxi driver!zoro

it's 3am and walking home from your shitty job at the diner seems like a drag, so you call a cab, hoping for a quick trip back to your apartment so you can finally catch some sleep. your moss-haired, muscle-bound, directionally-challenged cabbie definitely gives you a ride you didn't expect.

"COMPLIMENTS TO THE CHEF" by @thus-spoke-lo 🦠

afab reader x slimeball line cook!sanji

a few nights pass after the sordid events of "a ride for a ride", and you're working another late night shift at franky's flapjack shack with sanji, that damned pervert cook. sanji manages to piss off your only remaining customer for the night, leaving the two of you alone in the restaurant. soon, things start to heat up in the kitchen--and not just because that one oven door won't close all the way.

"TITS FOR TAT" by @bloompompom 🦠

sorority girl!reader x tattoo artist!eren jaeger

"i hope you have a good idea about how you're going to pay for that tattoo..."

"DELIRIOUS" by @saccharine-darlin🦠 ⚠️

fem camgirl!reader x slimy sex shop owner!gojo x sex shop employee!getou

"your conservative town is something you've never thought that would let a sex shop pop up, it seemed too good to be true, and little did you know after the first time you visited you'd be caught in a web by the two perverted men who run it and quickly you learn that they always get what they want."

“PAY UP!” by @zeninsama 🦠

fem babysitter!reader x designer sunglasses model!gojo satoru

satoru's poor time management has you working overtime, and this cheap bastard has something other than cash to pay you with

"GOD BLESS ME, IT'S SUMMER" by @dolcezzzza 🦠

afab reader x slimeball ice cream truck driver!nicholas d. wolfwood

"open up."

"TRIPLE STRIKE XXX" by @em-plosion 🦠

new employee!reader x bowling alley owner!satoru gojo

"the animated neon signs glowed brightly against the wet pavement and the ‘help wanted’ flier in your hand. having to move to this hell hole of a town was bad enough but trying to find a job in it was worse, at this point this shitty bowling alley seemed to be the best option."

"HANDS TO YOURSELF" by @agirlwithapen 🦠 ⚠️

reader x dirty old man!kishibe

you’d purposely chosen the early morning transit. today was a big day, you see. you were interviewing for a position your friend had offered. it was your chance at stability, financial stability. “first impressions count.” you remember telling your soon-to-be boss over email. they do.

"CAN I HAVE A NUMBER 5?" by @gunfiendbabymama

yuuta okkotsu vs. aki hayakawa

the mcnuggets showdown.

“HONEY TRAP” by @maliciouslove 🦠

fem reader x slimeball starbucks barista!denki kaminari

having a slimebucks apron is equal to having unlimited rizz (source: me) and denki proves it by bedding his brand new colleague on her very first day of work.

“THE HR FILES” by @if-dreams-do-come-true ⚠️

afab reader x corrupt cop!kishibe

kishibe is a shameless corrupt cop with a penchant to make inappropriate advances at fresh faced interns and the reader is unfortunately his newest victim.

"STICKLER" by @princess-okkotsu 🦠

after a run-in with grimetown's sleazy cop nanami, you've come to the dmv to replace the sticker that was stolen off your car from a certain freeloader. you've got to convince the dmv employee, a stickler for the rules, that you quite badly need this problem squared away today.

[an-au-blog]

fastfood restaurant au where Sanji and Zoro keep getting stuck in drive through. Nami loves going, not because the food is good, or because she gets free stuff, but because she gets a free show out of it. She brings Robin along one time and it's double the fun.

Whenever she strolls around, Sanji starts acting like an idiot, which pisses Zoro off and they start fighting in the most cartoonish way.

Robin asks if they're together, but Nami says they're too dumb to actually get over themselves. They place a bet and surprisingly Robin wins when one day they accidentally find Zoro pressing Sanji against the wall of the smoking area, making out aggressively. They were so caught up in their sloppy session that they only noticed the girls after Nami dropped her phone in shock.

That was also the day when Robin crossed paths with Franky, who was there to fix the ice cream machine. They have a little chat, she finds out he has his own repair shop on the side, he finds out she's doing her second degree on archeology. By the time Nami is done collecting her jaw off the floor and Sanji is done crying groveling, Robin and Franky had bonded and exchanged contacts.

Luffy and his brothers are good clients but they throw the rest of the employees in panic every time they walk in. Sanji and Zoro are the only ones who're fast enough to serve them, when they work together they manage to be done in impractical no time. They still fight way too much to be in the kitchen the rest of the time, so they're just for emergencies.

Once, Nami asks is Zoro's embarrassed or jealous of how Sanji gets with women. He just shrugs and tells them that it's not the women he's afraid of, because he has the rizz of a wet cat, but it's the men that make him weary, because he doesn't even realize how easily men flock to him.

She laughs it off at first, but then she sees how Gin (the bandit from the baratie arc) was, then Ace (who was conventionally attractive) also flirted with him, then Duval, and the men just went on and on. And I imagine her just going "How? How do men find him appealing???" and Zoro just scoffs and goes "More like how are women so blind? Not that I'm complaining, since I got to bag him".

Even though he said it in a bagged a baddy kind of way, in most women's minds to bag him is equivalent to like a garbage bag.

[as4hii]

Another potential crack fic or at least chapter would be if sanji just randomly received a call while on the baratie.

It would be a lady asking for him personally on the restaurant's den den mushi.

Everyone's just so shocked because they all knew the poor guy had negative rizz. That is until he actually picks up the phone and it turns out it was makino that made the call just so that luffy can talk to sanji.

Imagine the bomb that has just been dropped on the cooks when they saw the woman lover start swooning at the mere voice of a boy they barely knew.

zeff knew that meeting the kid and the barmaid while restocking on the last island was fate's doing.