#sandworm scoop

[sandwormrp]

Sandworm Scoop #1

September marks 4 months of Sandworm being open! Thank you to everyone that has participated thus far. It's hugely appreciated. We're going to start doing a quarterly(ish) scoop for you to check out what the latest is on board.

Movie Night!

The poll is concluded and we'll be watching Dune Part 1 together! Save the date and come join us! It'll be hosted on our Discord.

Friday September 13th, at 8PM EST Don't need to be a writer to come hang out in Discord with us! Edit: Thanks to those that joined in! Have a poll up in discord for watching Part 2 together. Looking at some time in November.

New Forums!

► Temple Shrine, Arrakis

Waypoints throughout Arrakis for travellers to congregate and thank Shai-Hulud for their safe passage. Some lay empty while others are filled with beggars. Ill fortunes or ill intentions? It's frowned upon to use violence in these sacred spaces.

► Celaris City, Caladan

A bustling city off the coast of Caladan Castle. Hotspot for tourism and fishing.

► At Sea, Caladan

Hosting some of the best oceans to set sail and explore!

► Verdant Springs, Caladan

A natural hot spring the locals will tell you about.

► Shipyard Dive Bar, Caladan

All the comings and goings happen here. This hole-in-the-wall dive bar picks up a lot of Atreides personnel and rabble.

► Cobalt Pits, Giedi Prime

Otherwise known as the slave pits. Anyone taken by House Harkonnen are usually thrown into here. The stronger ones are used in the Battle Arena.

► Melange Lounge, Giedi Prime

Local night club that contains VIP sections for even the Baron himself to peruse.

► Neoterra District, Giedi Prime

A slum? A place for royalty? You decide and shape the fate of this district.

► Estate Gardens, Kaitain

Many places in the garden are open to the public, some are kept for the attendants of the palace.

► Opal Palace, Kaitain

One of many grand structures spread across Kaitain, this was Padishah Emperor Shaddam Corrino IV's favorite palace to reside.

► Grazing Grounds, Kaitain

One of Kaitain's best known Horse Ranches with some of the imperial horses on show. A spectacle of horse shows and races are regularly hosted here.

Latest Plot Highlights

In an AU where Paul and Irulan have formed a more equal marriage and partnership than occurs in the books, their conflicting feelings about the fates of the Great Houses could mean opportunity, or disaster, for players who are nobles or House-adjacent. There are opportunities for players to write participants (canon or AU) in the Conspiracy that occurs in Dune Messiah.

In this timeline, Paul Atreides has seen a golden path and is trying to keep a future secured and within his control. Though his actions often depict him as cold and ruthless. His twin sister Leiana (OC) has been sent away with Duncan Idaho to be married. Her own safety secured. Some might think Paul was purposely trying to push away those he cared most about. With a goal in place, it’s now a question of whether the path taken towards it is morally right. There are opportunities for an unrequited love between Paul and Irulan, any version of Chani (be it books or movies) will be loved and welcomed. Lots of space for OCs and Canons alike to interact with this messiah.

Tarik (OC) is a Fremen that has spent his life following his fellow brothers and sisters of the sietch. On the cusp of paradise, Paul Atreides will lead them. Only his heart has been held back on Arrakis by another. His work with the smugglers is to go against everything the Emperor has ordered. Future trouble is on the horizon. A handful of other OC’s are involved in this plot and still lots of wiggle room for more involvement!

Irulan Corrino has married both Paul Atreides and Feyd-Rautha within different timelines. How she handles either only time will tell. Two things are always the same; she serves the Bene Gesserit in their plans and isn’t shy to voice her opinions. Whether she’s pushing Bene Gesserit sisters into fountains, or talking about you in excerpts of her books - if a princess is needed for a new plot she’s ready.

A young Bene Gesserit initiate endures the fall of Zanbar at the order of the new Emperor Atreides. While the planet itself was ruthless and allied with Harkonnens, the mark it left on the sister has put her at unease with the Order. What path must she take now? Any political conspiracy plots on Kaitain will be wanted and loved.

Cyntia and Lilah finally meet in the middle of Zanbar’s Apocalypse only to immediately morph into spaceship driving soccer-mom and moody teenager. End up discussing complex morality issues. More tonight at 9

Cyntia and Lorrai get majorly cockblocked by Bene Gesserit witchy messages, to be continued? Or not 💀 Feel free to check out our guidebook!

[caffsy]

FFXIV Write #20 – Duel

Yusi had no time to think, not even to consider whether she was even avenging or helping Aras in the current state. He had dropped the sceptre of bone that she had given to him so Yusi scooped it up as she ran at the slaughterous sandworm. The thin aether would severely limit her magic capabilities, effectively leaving her without spellcasting – evening the playfield with the worm’s own lack of magic.

She may have been out of spells, but she was not out of options. The bone of her sceptre had come of a large fang and while the tip had been blunted and the haft was not suited, it had still once been a weapon meant for killing.

A one-on-one fight, Yusi had been taught, was a battle for superiority of options. First and foremost, Yusi needed to prevent her quarry from escaping. Sandworms, like most every creature within The Burn, preferred to ambush weakened prey or scavenge the bones from other creatures’ kills. This meant that after any attack – successful or no – it would immediately burrow underground to eat safely and escape ambushers.

Yusi would have to stop that by forcing it to fight her. She leaped on top of the sandworm and began stabbing at it wherever she could. It writhed violently below her, trying to shake her off and burrow itself underground. She prayed thankfully for the way time had progressed, for if she was covered in the sweat from a midday sun she may have been thrown off, but she held fast and managed to wedge her weapon between the scales of the beast.

With first blood undeniably going to Yusi, the sandworm forgot about any attempts to flee and instead rounded on her. It rolled over, pinning Yusi to the sand and squirming to get the dagger out of itself. It rolled over and raked its multitude of near-vestigial scythe-like feet against her, but dragging the tooth up and over itself only managed to open the wound further.

Yusi’s outfit was meant for protecting herself from the harsh weather than from the vicious bites of creatures – she had deviated far from anything she had originally planned with the Bairon people and was paying the price for it. The sharp feet dug into her skin, scattering her own lifeblood across the sand to mix with the sandworm’s.

The options of both duellists had been severely lessened. But Yusi still had more, even were it to come with a price she was not keen on paying.

She let go of the sceptre and kicked at the worm, buying the both of them space. The worm continued writhing to remove the sceptre, but Yusi banked on it staying in. The rough hide, which had been so adept at repelling the weapon’s entrance, was not so adept at allowing its exit. Yusi cast her mind years back to a disaster that still haunted her nightmares and began incanting the syllables that lead to Moks' self-immolation.

[m0chisenpai]

Honey I’m Home

Series: Beetlejuice the Musical

Pairing: Beeltejuice x demon!Reader

Warning: domestc fluff may give too many uwus 

Back in the Netherworld the Shoggoth household stood proudly on a tall hill. Think of it as the Maitland’s home but more spacious and a bit more dark and victorian gothic on both the outside and inside as a breather friend helped decorate.

The newly wedded couple were back after spending a month away in Scaris for their honeymoon together. 

After returning Y/N was granted a higher position as her ex boss met a unique demise involving a sandworm by a mysterious cowboy.

In the kitchen Beeltejuice stood over a large bubbling pot with god knows what in it with an apron that read “kiss the corpse” written across it. He held the spoon o his mouth smacking his lips together.

“It’s missin’ somethin’“ a beetle ran across the counter which he caught “aha!” He dropped the bug into the pot taking another taste and humming in approval. 

Y/N slowly walked in hiding a bottle behind her back as she tip toes into the kitchen where her husband was humming to himself shaking his hips much to her amusement.

“Honey! I’‘m home!” 

“Babes!’ He threw the spoon behind him flying forward to scoop the demoness up pecking her all over her face.

“I haven’t been gone that long have I?” She giggled planting a sweet kiss on his lips.

“Yes you have been! You wanna know what I did? I almost watched the...the shopping network.” He stuck his tongue out like a child.

“Well look what I got as a little promotion gift” Y/N pulled the dark bottle from behind her back.

“Worms Wart! Ah I haven’t had this in a while.” Beetlejuice took the bottle uncorking it and breathing in the drink.

“Lets save it for dinner I’ll help you set up bugaboo.”  

Y/N snapped her fingers and a nice set up appeared in the living room with a few candles lit and flowers in the middle of the table with some grizzly horror movie ready to be played on tv. 

“Alright and now for the main course of tonight, cream of newt”

“Oh my favorite” Y/N cooed as Beetlejuice filled up the bowls while Y/N poured two glasses. Beetlejuice settled next to her picking up the glass swirling it around letting out a content sigh as he wrapped an arm around his wife pulling her closer to his side.

“If I knew married life would be this good I would have eloped with you centuries ago.”

“Is that so Mr.Shoggoth?”

“Indeed Mrs.Shoggoth” he smirked down at her kissing her lips while gently tapping their glasses together and taking a sip when they pulled apart. A scream from the tv caught the attention of the two.

“Ooo is this the part where her head spins?”

“Hell yeah look at her go!”

[daydreaming-jessi]

Henlo I am buzzing with energy, so I decided to go ahead a conclude the whole cliffhanger in the Beej and shoggoth au I left last time lmao. This is gonna be a monster I feel so um I’m so sorry

SO! one night Lydia and Beej were hanging out, watching horror movies. Delia and Charles went out on a date, and the maitlands were having a quiet night in up in the attic.

The cats were acting weird all day. Shoggoth kept walking the house, checking every window, barely stopping to eat. Azazel was actually keeping still, seeming to keep vigil in the sitting room seemingly, watching the wall that still had marks on it from months before. Circe seemed to be on edge, actually hissing at anyone that petted her out of nowhere, and patchie and Beef kept hiding under the sofa.

Lyds and Beej tried to walk them, but they weren’t having a good time. Beej was worried, but lyds suspected a mouse had gotten into the house or they’d seen a stray outside and tried to appease beej’s worries with Friday the thirteenth.

So the two were sitting on the couch cuddling under the knitted blanket barb had managed to make, making jokes at cheesy acting and props, eating popcorn and just having a good time all around.

Suddenly there’s a shout upstairs, and a series of bangs and shuffles. Lydia and Beej share a concerned look. Suddenly shoggoth let out a very haunting yowl and charges upstairs, with Azazel close after. Lyds and Beej decide they should investigate.

Up they went, to the attic, coming up to a chilling sight. Green light filled the attic, Adam and Barb were suspended in air, looking very similar to a sight seen months before.

“Barb, Adam!” Lydia cries, rushing forward. Beej remained at the stairs, frozen, as a familiar energy hits him, holding him frozen in place.

“You.”

Lydia turned to see a familiar sneer, familiar red glasses and pearls. Juno.

“I should’ve known it was you harboring these fugitives,” Juno sneered.

“How... how are you back?!”

“You think a simple sandworm can stop me? My son is an idiot, kid. They only stop ghosts, not millennia old demons that keep order of the netherworld.”

Barbara lets out a pained scream at that moment.

“Let them go! They didn’t do anything!” Lydia sounded hysterical now. When barb was being exorcised before, it didn’t sound half as painful as it does now. She got the feeling Beej had been holding the power of the exorcism back, months before.

“These ghosts are fugitives, punk. They should’ve gone to the netherworld the day they passed. No exceptions. If they wanted to be in the living world, they should’ve gotten a pass. But now they have to be punished,” Juno huffed. Both ghosts let out pained cries.

“No! Wait, please, you can’t! They-they didn’t know-“ Lydia tried.

“Oh please. They have the book. They knew they were breaking the rules.” Juno interrupted.

Lydia was panicking now, and she quickly sucked in a deep breath. “Beetlejuice!” She cried.

“Don’t bother.”

Lydia turned to see Beej standing rigid, frozen with his eyes rolled into the back of his head, hair black. A skeleton stood beside him, chattering and clicking.

“I should’ve known he’d stay around here, bumming off a bunch of breathers. He grows a spine for once and then doesn’t even try to take over. Why do I even keep him around?” Juno brushes past Lydia, moving to circle Beej, like patchie eyeing up a squirrel he’s about to pounce on.

“Why do I keep him around? After everything I’ve done for him, and he drives me to drink my sorrows away! I’ve given him all I could and he just disappoints me over and over again... I believe I’ve had enough. Keep those two in place. It’s time I start over with this mess,” Juno smiled, sending a chill down lydia’s spine.

“No!” Lydia cries, leaping forward to stop the demon. But Juno flicks her wrist, and Lydia freezes in place, lifting off the floor.

“Well well Lawrence. Do you remember that little curse I cooked up for you? Wasn’t there a little clause about your true name? What was it, Betelgeuse?”

The room becomes cold. The green light becomes mixed with black shadows. Lydia feels tears springing into the corner of her eyes without thought.

“Ah. Now I remember. Oh foul son o’ mine, never shall you be seen lest named times three. But, beware. Should your true name be uttered thrice, bid farewell to any life. Such a shame, isn’t it? You had such potential. But you wasted it all and wasted me away with them. Remember, everything I do, I do for you. Maybe now you’ll learn your lesson,” Juno hissed.

Lydia wants to scream, fight, do anything. Her family is about to vanish before her, and there’s nothing she can do. Charles and Delia weren’t here to help, barb and Adam were going to be gone, Beej was about to be gone, and who knows what Juno was going to do to lyds. I’m so sorry Dead Mom.....

“Betelgeuse. Betelgeuse. Betel-“

A yowl fills the air, and suddenly Juno has a face full of black fur, white slashing the air. Juno screams, and the skeleton is bowled over by four other balls of fur, scattering it’s bones across the attic floor. Adam and barb fall to their knees, gasping and sweaty. Beej gasps, stumbling back. Lydia crashes to the ground. She can hear the door opening downstairs, the panicked shouts of her parents starting to come closer.

“Argh! What a horrible little creature! Ah, Jesus! How on earth did it touch me.... ? what did you do Lawrence?” Juno stares down the panting green haired demon. Beej glares back, hair a mixture of white and red.

“Can’t handle a little cat scratch ma?” He growls.

The door slams open, Charles and Delia enters looking ready to fight. They see Juno, sees their family collapsed to the floor, shoggoth lay unmoving as her kids slowly move to protect her, and both are ready to act.

“Get away from our family!” Charles nearly roars. Juno looks unimpressed, and tries to flick her hand again. “Dad!” Lydia cries, but nothing happens. Juno’s eyes widen. She tries again. Again.

Adam and barb have managed to stand and pull Lydia up to her feet as well, standing close to the door outside, ready to run if need be.

“What did you do Lawrence?”

“What was that thing about names again, Mom? How they are powerful enough to control an entire being if you know it right? Well, I’ve learned a lot these past few months, more than I ever learned from you. And one of the things I learned is that cats are smarter than anyone I’ve ever met, and mom cats are a helluva lot better than you ever were,” Beej smiles, remembering all the rants Delia and lyds gave when they heard just how well Juno raised him.

A hellish growl fills the air. Juno looks back to see the black shag she threw standing up, a neon green eye zeroed in on her.

“Ma, meet shoggoth and her kids patchie, Azazel, Circe, and beef. They don’t like it when our family is disturbed.”

A rumble fills the room, a chorus of hellish growls echo through the air, and Juno screams.

“NoNONO! How could you do such a stupid thing?! How could you?! I’ve given everything, everything! You idiot, you awful bastard! NooooOOOOOOOOOO-“

Juno seems to crumble in on herself, her screams filling the air. Barb and Adam clutch Lydia tighter. Charles and Delia rush forward, and grab Beej, pulling him away from the shrieking demon slowly spewing out smoke that reeks of cigarettes. The ghosts hurry to them, everyone holding each other close.

Shoggoth throws her head back and yowls, and the roof cracks open like a maw, and black and white stripes descend.

“NO, NO MY POWER! NO, STOP! I CAN’T BE STOPPED LIKE THIS NO!”

A sandworm wraps Juno up tight, the roof closes, and Shoggoth stalks closer, shadow leaking behind her, and overtaking the room. It’s like all those times shoggoth lays on a sleeping face, blocking the world out.

Slowly the light comes back. The bones are gone, all that’s left of Juno is her red candy glasses.

Sandy is lounged around the attic, seeming to purr at the black lump in the middle of its coils.

“Shoggoth!”

Lydia and Beej rush forward, closely followed by the others.

The kittens are pacing worriedly, mewling and gently butting at their mother’s body. Beej reaches out, like he did three months ago, gently scooping up the giant, black cat and cradling her close to his body.

“Is she...?” Lydia feel liquid start to drip down her face, her throat aches, all she’s able to think is that despite everything she’s lost another person.

A small purr sounds off from beej’s arms.

“Oh thank god!” “Shoggoth!” “How is she?” “She okay??” “It’s ok, lil guys, Mom’s gonna be okay.”

The kind vet that checked up on shoggoth all those weeks ago, performs a late night home visit.

Shoggoth now has a limp that may not go away, her tail is even more crooked, but she’s purring and grooming everyone like she didn’t just eviscerate a millennias old demon. The kittens just can’t decide what to do with themselves. They’re cuddling their mom, they’re cuddling their humans, they’re play fighting with Sandy.

Speaking of...

Sandy refuses to leave. No matter how much Beej tries to cajole her, the sandworm shakes her head stubbornly. “You’re too smart for your own good!” Beej grouches. But he is scratching her chins.

Delia: How on earth is she gonna fit in this house?

Sandy: *shrinks herself down to a more typical snake size to better match her environment*

Delia: *exhasperatedly clutching a crystal now* well I guess this is just what the universe planned for us I guess!

Adam: *happy snake nerd noises*

Lydia now teases Charles for the whole “our family” thing for a minute, but then he’s like “lyds I knew the instant that demon showed back up in our house that we’d adopted a family of ghosts.” She just smiles and hugs him. He’s certainly not wrong.

So things return to normal, just with the addition of a garbage disposal of a snake slithering around, randomly picking a human or ghost or demon or cat to be a new perch. Sandy certainly doesn’t have a favorite perch. She loves all the Adams and non-Adams equally, what are you talking about?

She has her own heating rock she retires to every night that Adam built for her. No kitty dare bother her lounging time, except for shoggoth, because sandy’s a pushover for shoggoth. But then again, who isn’t?

And Beej? He can’t complain. He’s not invisible or alone anymore. His mom won’t bother him again as he recovers from her years of abuse, he is constantly inundated with the cutest lil kitties and snake, has a punking lil sister, pseudo parents, and a cute couple of ghosts that call him sweet. All because of a girl who lost her mom, a widower, a life coach, two white middle class ghosts, and a ragged black cat, all of whom that he loves freely, and dearly.

Oh, there is one thing that’s new. Beef learned how to turn on the stereo. And somehow, Jump in the Line plays every time. Yeah, Lydia knows for certain Dead Mom is proud of their new family. She loves it a lot too.

PHEW! That be it for that. I may draw things for this au more, especially since they now have a pet sandworm snake lol. I’m so glad so many people like this au, I love it a lot. All because i just thought to myself “what if Beej found a cat?” and just started tapping at my phone. It’s dumb and cute and probably tropey and a lil ooc, but hey. That’s the fun of fandom. Lemme know if you’re curious about something, I love chatting about this stuff

beetleb@bes, pls dni

[totally-incorrect-theatre-quotes]

Sick Day (fanfic)

While the votes were very close the sick day prompt won out last night, and I was kinda grateful because I had already started writing some of it before I got most of the votes. I’m sure you guys were looking for something more fluffy since my last fic was nothing but sadness and while I delivered some what this is still gonna be kinda sad, but I promise it has a sweet ending! I’m not sure if I’ll post this one to Ao3 but we’ll see :)

TW: sickness, mentions of death, mentions of Nosocomephobia

____________________________________________________________

The one thing that makes getting the flu even worse is getting the flu during spring break. No missing school because school is already out, so the days off just get wasted laying in bed with one stuffed up nostril, a pile of tissues sprawled on the bed, and the blankets half n and half off because it’s somehow both too hot and too cold. Lydia didn’t get sick often, but when she did it was never fun. Two days before she had felt a fever coming on but decided not to say anything because she still wanted to hang out with Wendy that night, but the next morning she woke up shivering and turns out she had a temperature of one hundred and two. Not the end of the world, but to say Lydia was annoyed was an understatement. Growing up her dad was always paranoid about germs, something Lydia thankfully didn’t inherit, but she still didn’t want to deal with him, lovingly, quarantining her. She took the thermometer, wrapped herself in a blanket, and went to seek the guidance of the ghosts. Ghosts can’t get sick, so they should have nothing to worry about. 

Barbara instantly pulled Lydia over to the couch while Adam ran around frantically trying to think of what sick people need, even though all Lydia asked for was a drink of water and maybe some Tylenol to bring her fever down. She ended up with a bowl of chicken noodle soup, slippers, about four different kinds of flu medication, and a cold compress. The first night she just slept on their couch, begrudgingly comfortable as a result of all the stuff Adam brought up to the attic. She would wake up every hour or so feeling crappy but she did get some sleep that night, hoping that maybe she was just tired and not actually sick, she read that online somewhere before. Unfortunately, when she woke up the next morning she definitely was still sick and it was not getting better as quickly as she would have liked. Her throat was all scratchy, she had a terrible headache, and she felt her body burning up under the blankets. She kicked the blankets off her and winced when her warm feet touched the freezing cold ground, she forgot that the Maitland’s couldn’t really feel the temperature so it was always a guess if it would be a sauna or the arctic up there. She coughed into her arm and shuffled downstairs to grab something small to eat, even though she was sick to her stomach she knew that she couldn’t take any medicine on an empty stomach. She managed to eat about half a piece of toast before feeling like she was going to puke, and she quickly swallowed down two pills. She sat down at the table with her head in her hands.

“Not feeling good?” Delia asked form behind her, Lydia simply groaned in response her throat too sore to even speak at this point, “Yeah I heard the flu was going around, I thought you got your flu shot though?”

She rolled her eyes not wanting to get into the debate of how the flu shot isn’t 100% effective and if she hadn’t gotten it she would be much sicker than she was right now. Instead, she just let Delia ramble on about what essential oils and crystals she thought might help ease the symptoms. It was almost soothing monotony as Lydia downed her second glass of orange juice hoping that maybe the extra vitamin C would destroy whatever virus was wreaking havoc on her immune system. Instead, it just made her stomach feel worse. By the time her father came down for the morning Lydia was almost passed out leaning on the table despite the fact she had just woken up maybe fifteen minutes before. Charles walked up to his unusually pale daughter and pressed the back of his hand to her forehead.

“Honey, you’re burning up.”

“I‘ve got a fever.” she mumbled, “Barbara thinks it’s the flu.”

Charles stopped dead in his tracks, he didn’t mean too but he couldn’t help himself from thinking about the past, and what signs he had missed, and now he was starting to overreact. This was a flu, people get the flu all the time, not every fever is a death sentence. Not every stomach bug is a sign of...he wasn’t going to let himself get sucked into it again. He didn’t want to frighten Lydia. Besides she knew as much about the whole ordeal as he did, if she thought something more besides a flu was wrong she would have told him. He forced himself to put on a sympathetic smile, “I’m sorry sweetheart, I hope you feel better soon. Will you be okay if I go to work?”

Lydia nodded knowing fully well that even when Delia and her dad went to work she still had the Maitland’s in the attic if she needed them. Her plan for the day was to either pass out on the couch or in her bed under all the blankets and preferably with her cats to keep her company so she didn’t feel obligated to make conversation. The first day or two of the flu was usually the worst, so she just wanted to sleep through it. She could see the look in her dad’s eyes though, he was worried about her. It would have come off to most people as fatherly or even endearing but to Lydia, it was nothing but a source of anxiety when her father worried about her like that. She sighed a breath of relief when he did eventually go off to work. She pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders, scooped up Cation in her arms and figured if Kraken was roaming somewhere around the house and would come join them whenever she saw fit. She had just about settled on her bed when her phone went off and she saw a text from her father asking if she was alright. She replied with a quick yes, hoping it would satisfy him for now, but she was rewarded with a series of four more texts asking if she needed anything, if she wanted to go to the doctor, if he should come home, and once more asking if she was feeling okay. Not wanting to fuel his compulsive questions but not wanting to make him even more worried she tried to reassure him that if something bad was happening he would be the first to know, she did also gave to his one question and requested some popsicles for her sore throat. 

She put her phone on silent, started watching a movie on her laptop and drifted off to sleep after about forty-five minutes. She wasn’t sure if it was the fever or the flu medication she had taken but she had the strangest dream, and that was a statement coming from the girl who lived with ghosts, and had been to the underworld before. It was nothing out of the ordinary at first, she was at school but instead of all the uniforms being white button-up shirts and black plaid skirts/ black pants they were an ugly green and yellow color. The details were fuzzy but the dream ended with her math teacher marrying the Sandworm and somehow Lydia was the maid of honor. It was very confusing but also entertaining so Lydia was slightly annoyed when she was woken up by a particular demon whom she had forgotten she had promised to hang out with the afternoon.

“Sorry BJ, I can’t really hang out today unless your idea of hanging out was sitting on the couch and watching TV while I pretty much sleep the whole day.”

“What the hell is wrong with you kid? You look like you saw a ghost.” BJ laughed very hard at his own joke and even though she was super out of it she still had it within her to fake gag at his lame attempt at comedy. 

“I’m sick.”

“Well, that’s pretty pathetic. I were you and I was still a living human I simply wouldn’t be incapacitated because of some bitch-ass virus Like RIP to you but I’m different.”

“You’re also already dead and didn’t you live like during the black plague?”

“And that sure as hell didn’t kill me. It would take a lot more so some dumb virus to take me now.”

“I think the plague was bacterial,” Lydia replied, straining her voice to argue with him. Under no circumstances would she not argue with Beetlejuice. 

“Same difference,” he waved his hand dismissively, “Anyway since you aren’t going to be any fun today while you milk this fake illness I’m going to go bug the Maitland’s. And while you’re at it...can you tell that bastard cat of yours to stop staring at me? It gives me the creeps.”

“Don’t be a jerk, Kraken loves you!” Lydia snapped defensively, pulling her cat up and presenting it to BJ, “She’s just a baby…”

“Look, there’s only room for one bastard in this house and that role is already taken.” BJ glared once more at the cat who seemed utterly indifferent to the presence of the demon. He walked through Lydia’s door but just to be a prick when he was outside of it he opened it partway and flipped her off. Grumbling Lydia got up to shut the door, hoping she’d be able to fall asleep again. She couldn’t, her cough was getting worse and it was making it impossible to lay down comfortably without feeling like she couldn’t breathe. She had to compromise and sit up in bed with her pillows stacked up behind her. She watched the clock with an almost obsession counting down the minutes before she could take another dose of the cough medicine and get some kind of relief from the symptoms. By the evening it felt as though she had been hit by a bus. Her muscles ached, she could hardly keep her eyes open, and her whole body felt like it was on fire. Barbara had tried to make her something for lunch but she could only manage a few bites before pushing the rest of it away, even the smell making her feel like she was going to throw up. 

“Maybe you should see a doctor when your dad gets home.” Adam suggested, “Not much they can do for the flu but maybe the can give you something stronger for your cough just so you can get some sleep tonight.”

“I’ll be fine!” Lydia snapped a little too harshly, “I’ll be fine, it’s just the flu. I don’t need to go to the doctor.” Adam backed off and left Lydia alone in her room. She couldn’t stop shivering even though she was boiling under the blankets. Her teeth clattered against each other and she felt a dizzying pressure building up in her forehead and sinuses. The hours in the day seemed to drag on with cruelty, she tried to distract herself with videos on her phone but she couldn’t keep focused on them long enough. She wanted to sleep but every time she was about to drift she would need to cough or her stomach would get upset, or her head would start pounding. She would alternate between her bedroom and the attic but nothing was comfortable. By the time her father and Delia got home from work Lydia was huddled out on the couch, her knees tucked into her chest and she was muttering feverishly in her half-awake half-asleep daze.

Charles rushed over to Lydia and his heart sank down to his stomach as images of Emily flashed through his head. He felt Lydia’s forehead and quickly grabbed the thermometer to check her temperature. He was devastated to read out that Lydia had a temperature of one hundred and three. Instantly fearing the worst he shook Lydia awake and told her that they were going to the hospital.

“Wait, what?” Lydia mumbled, still not completely aware

“The hospital, you’re burning up. You look like you’re about to faint, come on get your coat and shoes on. Can you walk?”

“Can I wh-? What are you talking about, of course, I can walk. Dad for god sake I have the flu. I feel like crap but I am not dying!” Charles tensed at those words and Lydia glared at him, shakily standing up with the blanket still draped around her shoulders

“Lydia, you’re not making sense. Please, just for me. Can we just please go to the hospital, I’m worried about you.”

“Dad you’re being ridiculous right now! You’re always worried about me!”

“I’m your father! It is my job to worry about you, now can you please get in the car so I can take you.” He was begging her at that point, he didn’t know what overcame him and Lydia wasn’t sure why she was so opposed. She felt awful, a fever at high was not a good thing, she logically knew that there was nothing wrong with going to a doctor but some part of her was shouting at her not to. She felt tears welling up in her eyes and she didn’t understand why, she wasn’t upset she was annoyed. She was annoyed at him for being so overbearing. Charles noticed this and went over to her, she slumped into his arms just taking in the much-needed hug. Lydia just kept repeating that she didn’t want to go to the hospital, and he nodded, “Okay, okay no hospital alright? But can we please go to the doctor or the urgent care? Honey, I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

After a brief and silent car ride Lydia was sitting in the urgent care waiting room with a mask over her mouth and nose to keep her from contaminating anybody else in the waiting room. It was already dark outside and Lydia leaned up against her father’s shoulder while they waited to be called back. She stared blankly at the wall trying to ignore the fact he was staring at her, even though we was pretending to scroll through his phone. He had one arm wrapped around her, rubbing her shoulder comfortingly and while she wanted to be stubborn and pull away she really did find comfort in him holding her. He was never unaffectionate while she was growing up, he would give piggyback rides and carry her, and hug her but he was slightly more distant since her mother had died, any kind of affection she got from him was cherished, even if she wanted to be a sullen teenager. 

“Deetz?” the male nurse called out

Charles helped steady Lydia while they walked into the examination room. They took her temperature and Charles explained a list of symptoms after Lydia tried too but couldn’t speak as clearly as she was trying to. The nurse scribbled some notes down, swabbed the inside of Lydia’s mouth and said that the doctor would be in shortly

“Man they take you from one waiting room to another huh?” Charles tried to joke in an attempt to ease the tension. Lydia was having none of it and she kept her eyes down on her phone while she was ranting to Barbara about how annoyed at her father she was. Though Barbara quickly proved to not be the ideal ranting partner in this situation so she turned to BJ who she knew would always agree with her no matter was as long as he got to complain too. After another twenty minutes of waiting the doctor came in holding a sheet of paper in her hands, “Bad news, you definitely have the flu young lady. Luckily it looks like it’s a mild strain even though I know it sure doesn’t feel like it huh? I’m going to prescribe you something to help you with that cough and something to work on killing the infection. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Lydia was about to shake her head no when Charles interjected, “Are you sure it’s just the flu?”

“Pretty positive, flu swabs are fairly accurate why?”

“But you’re sure it’s not something else, like something I don't know..” “He wants to know if you think I have cancer.” Charles jolted his head and looked at Lydia with such disbelief that she had to scoff, “Don’t act so shocked dad, that’s what you want to know. You want to know if I have what mom had.” She turned her attention back to the doctor and in her strained and scratchy voice, she said, “My mom she had non-Hodgkins lymphoma and apparently she started out with just flu symptoms too, she died. He’s worried that I’m going to die too, so can you just tell me if I do or don’t have cancer?”

Stunned the doctor fumbled a response, “Mr. Deetz Lydia has the flu. I am truly sorry for your loss and while I cannot say for absolute certain without doing blood tests I am fairly confident that Lydia simply has the flu. She doesn’t have any of the other tell-tale symptoms of the condition that your wife had. Now, do you have any other questions?”

“Yeah can I go home now?” Lydia demanded

The whole ride back home Lydia sat with her arms crossed and her head leaned against the car window. Her father wouldn’t talk to her, she wouldn’t talk to him. It was obvious to everybody else that something happened between them the minute they walked in the door. Lydia instantly went towards the stairs but Charles went after her, insisting that they need to talk. She waved her hand and slammed her door shut, complaining that she didn’t feel good and wanted to go to bed. She didn’t lock the door though, she knew it made everybody in the house angry if she locked the door when they were fighting. They respected not to come in if she didn’t invite them, but the rule was not door locking. She curled back up on her bed, cuddling with a chatty Kraken who was already lounging on her mattress. Within thirty seconds there was a knock at her door, and she threw her pillow at it in response.

“Lydia we need to talk about this, we need to talk about what you said at the doctor today.”

“What I said?” She laughed shaking her head, “Just come in dad, I know you’re not going to go away until you do and I feel like shit and want to go to bed so let’s get this over with.”

Charles cautiously opened the door and sat down on the edge of Lydia’s bed, mindful of the collection of tissues and bottles accumulating throughout the room. Having felt better since taking the medication the doctor prescribed she sat up in her bed and looked at her dad, waiting for him to scold her for behaving like a child in the doctors. She wouldn’t deny it, she acted very immaturely but she was so sick of how he was treating her that day. 

“Can we talk about it?” she questioned, “That’s what you wanted isn’t it?”

“I wanted to say I was sorry, Lydia. I know that I probably made things a lot worse for you. I know you aren’t feeling good and I didn’t mean to scare you with the whole...anyway it doesn’t matter the details. I shouldn’t have overreacted when you told me it was the flu, I trust you to know your body. I just don’t know what came over me, seeing you looking so sick and pale, it had me terrified. I just couldn’t imagine losing you too.”

“Dad I’m okay.” she tried to explain, “I’m fine.”

“I just, I don’t understand why you got so worried when I suggested you go to the hospital, you had a really high fever. Lydia, I understand that our relationship is going to require a certain give and take but when it comes to safety I think we need to make some more compromises. I was probably jumping to conclusions when I thought the worst but even the nurse was concerned when he saw how high it was, we should have gone to the hospital.”

“I didn’t want to go to the hospital.” 

“But I don’t understand why.”

“Yes, you do! And it kills me that you can’t understand it, you think it scares you when you see me getting sick and having the same symptoms mom did, imagine how I feel! I am terrified any time I get a cold or I have a stomach bug or even a bad headache because I worry that the same thing that happened to mom is gonna happen to me. I know there’s a genetic link, it’s not a high one but it scares me too dad but the thing is you’re supposed to be the calm one. You’re supposed to be the one convincing me it’s just the flu and that I’ll be okay in a few days, I shouldn’t have to convince not only me but my father too. Any time I’m sick I dread telling you because I know exaclty how you’re going to react. That’s not good dad! It’s making me afraid to come to you and god forbid I do get sick like that how long am I going to unintentionally ignore the symptoms because I’m afraid to tell you! I don’t want to go to the hospital dad because I’m afraid I might not come back, and I know that’s crazy. I know I’m being dramatic but that’s what happened with mom. She was fine one day and the next day you’re driving me to the hospital and she tells me she has maybe a few weeks to live? Can’t you get why I might not like hospitals so much anymore?” Lydia was trembling slightly now weak from the flu and the medication she was on, “There’s a line in the sand dad, there has to be because the worst part about being sick right now is that you looking at me like you might blink and I’ll be dead. Do you no understand how stressful that is?”

He bowed his head, “Lydia I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you but it’s been so hard since Emily died to not go right to the worst-case scenario.”

“And I do the exact same thing, but the difference dad is that I’m your kid. I need you to have a level head about this, and I don’t mean to just attack you because you all kind of do it. You all smother me with attention when I’m sick or hurt, I love you all but it’s suffocating sometimes when all I need is to stay in bed and take some Tylenol.”

“I’m sorry, I’m going to try harder to be better about it, alright? I promise, but I need you to promise me that you won’t hide things from me. Your mom tried to mask the signs, tell me she was okay, and not that it would have saved her but you can’t lie to me alright? We’re in this together, okay?”

Lydia nodded and hugged her father, rubbing at her eyes both in fatigue and in an attempt to clear away the tears welling up in her eyes. For the rest of the night, she and Charles sat in the living room wrapped in blankets, watching reruns of old movies on the television. Lydia burrowed her head the crook of his arms and eventually dozed off into the first peaceful sleep she managed to get that day. Though he was incredibly uncomfortable in that position he just relished in the closeness he felt in that moment. He couldn’t help but to remember when Lydia was small and he and Emily would spend hours trying to soothe the fussy baby, both of them completely exhausted when she would finally fall asleep but neither of them able to look away from the tiny human they had created. She was so grown up now, so funny and intelligent, wise beyond her years, but despite all of that when he looked down at his sleeping daughter’s face he could still see that little baby he cradled all those years ago. 

[painted-piggy-ships-archive]

Two Bugs in a Rug Drabble

Ship: Wesley (s/i) x Beetlejuice

Word Count: 652

Tag List: @starryeyedghostgirl @imagine-your-love-story @another-strange-user

TWs: Drug mention/Use of marijuana.

Synopsis: Wesley and Beetlejuice work hard at conning ghosts into all sorts of things, so Beetlejuice graciously decides it’s time he’s taken his lover on a vacation.

It’s been a long day of running around and tricking unfortunate souls. We practically drag ourselves through the door of our home, and even though we’re exhausted, we’re grinning. Sure, it zaps a lot of energy out of ya, but we love our job! We wouldn’t have it any other way. We fall on the couch, breathing heavily as we snuggle into each other’s sides.

“I love you so much, baby.” Beetlejuice said, rushing the words out of his mouth so he could smother my face in kisses sooner.

“I love you too, Beej.” I opened my bag and dumped the cash we’d earned today onto the coffee table. As I’m counting, Beetlejuice shifts and wraps an arm around me, resting his head on my shoulder and snuggling into me.

“What?” I ask in a teasing tone, used to his clinging.

“Babes... I think we ought to have a vacation. Don’t you think we’ve earned it?” He asks.

“... Ghosts take vacations??”

“Sure! Sorry, sometimes I forget you haven’t been as dead as long as I have... Anyways I’ve had my eyes on this place on the beach. We can relax there, and hey, maybe mess with the livin’ a little if you’re up to it.” He musses my platinum blonde hair and I chuckle.

“Sounds good by me.” I scoop the counted money back into the bag.

“Great! Let’s get packing.”

- Time Skip -

“Oh, wow! This place is beautiful!” I say as we make ourselves comfortable. It’s a rental, and the people living in the place at the moment are as average of joe-shmoes as you can get.

“Hm, not as beautiful as you, Wes.” Beetlejuice comments as he unpacks, making me blush. I open the window and sit on the sill, looking out at the beach as the salty breeze flows through my spirit.

“Man, it’s gonna be amazing to smoke on the beach.” I hop back in the room and close the window, grabbing my skull-patterned bikini before tapping Beetlejuice’s shoulder, “Last one down to the water is a rotted sandworm.”

“Oh-ho-ho, you’re on.” He responds with a sharp-toothed grin. His own bathing suit looks like it’s from the Victorian era, striped and with buttons in the front. We put on our swimsuits and run down the beach, Beetlejuice tackling me at the waters edge.

“Ack, no fair!” I whine while laughing, paddling away from his grip.

“What’s not fair is how good you look right now.~” Beetlejuice flirts.

I roll my eyes and splash water at him before swimming away. He quickly swims after me, morphing a shark fin on his back. I hum the jaws theme as I easily evade his advances.

“C’mon, Beej, it’s like your not even trying.” I giggle and taunt.

“Not trying??” He responds with mock exasperation, “Yeesh, gimme a break babydoll, it’s been a damn millennia since I’ve been near water!”

I laugh and climb up on a sandbar. He climbs up beside me, the shark fin on his back disappearing as he pulls me into a passionate kiss that sends us toppling into the sand. We chuckle to ourselves, and when I try to get up, Beetlejuice pulls me back down again.

We spend the rest of the day exploring the beach and subtly spooking our living housemates. At sunset, I roll a doobie and walk down to the beach, now wearing an oversized button-up top over my bikini. I light the cigarette and zone out to the sounds of the waves. Beetlejuice joins me shortly, wearing a hideous flowered shirt and cargo shorts.

“Having fun?” He asks, sitting cross-legged beside me.

“Mm-hm.” I absently take his hand in mine.

“Good.” He leans over and kisses my cheek, making me smile.

“Love ya, Beej.”

“Darlin’, I love ya more than you could ever love me.” He gives my hand a squeeze. We watch the sunset in a harmonic silence.

[gcthamqueen]

Title: she’s like the den mother of hell.

Summary: “If Perse is here in the ass crack of nowhere Connecticut in the middle of winter, what does that tell you about what’s happening in the Netherworld right about now?”

———

A year after the events of the musical, a freak day of scorching sun in the middle of a Connecticut winter lands the queen of the Netherworld in the middle of the Deetz-Maitland household.And they thought letting Beetlejuice stay with them would put an end to the majority of their supernatural weirdness.

Link: [ao3]

***************************

chapter one: winter’s nigh and summer’s o’er.

A freak weather phenomenon sweeps through Winter River, as Lydia and Beetlejuice make a discovery on a trip to the local graveyard.

It takes a moment, when Beetlejuice suddenly finds himself awake in the early hours of the morning, for him to realise what had dragged him back to awareness.

The last time he can recall feeling something even a little bit similar to the distinctive thrum of the supernatural currently making the hair on his arms stand on end had been a year ago when his mother had emerged from the Netherworld intent on claiming Lydia, her fury practically rolling off her in waves. But this is something he barely recognises, especially after the last year spent mostly outside of the Netherworld, and nothing he can recall coming into contact with previously had been potent enough to wake him up like this.

Throwing back the covers and climbing out of bed, he yawned widely and raked a hand through his eternally messy hair as he phased through the door to head downstairs and raid the fridge. It had been an admittedly bizarre year in the wake of his first encounter with the Deetz family and the Maitlands. Despite his initial return to a Juno-less Netherworld, Beetlejuice had ended up returning to the living world because somewhere very deep down - not that he’d ever actually admit it - he’d missed the breathers and newly-deads too much. So it had been months of Lydia wearing away at her living and ghostly parents to allow him to move in and earning his way into the family’s good graces. Somewhere along the way, he’d even become Lydia’s big brother to explain his presence to anyone in Winter River who might ask, which had warmed his cold dead heart more than he’d care to admit.

Padding down the stairs, he wasn’t particularly surprised to find Adam and Barbara in the kitchen, working on preparing the beginnings of a breakfast for when the resident breathers woke up.

“Woke you dorks up too, huh?” He asked, opening the fridge to rifle through it for the leftover Chinese food from the previous night.

“That energy spike?” Barbara replied, “Yeah. It’s the strangest thing. Everything feels all...heavy, I guess. Like the air right before a storm.”

“It is way too early in the morning to be gettin’ all poetic like that, Babs,” Beetlejuice grinned as he scooped a handful of fried rice into his mouth with his fingers.

“What was it anyway?” Adam asked, moving to drop a fork into the takeout carton in response to him eating with his hands.

“Hell if I know, A-Dog,” Beetlejuice shrugged as he continued with the food, albeit now with the fork, “Something supernatural’s all screwy. Couldn’t tell you why though. Sometimes it just happens.”

Eventually, he found his way into the living room to pass out on the couch for another few hours, only to be woken up by Lydia practically throwing herself on his back.

“Morning Beej!”

“You’re chipper this mornin’, Scarecrow,” he grinned, squirming around to get her in a headlock and give her an affectionate noogie, making her shriek with laughter and wriggle out of his grasp.

“It’s the first proper day of my holidays and it’s actually nice out,” she replied, “We can head down to the graveyard and start on those photos I’ve been wanting to take.”

“Nice out? I thought it was snowing.”

“Geez, when you sleep, you really sleep, huh?” Lydia mused, gesturing to the living room window, “It’s been super sunny since I woke up.”

Sure enough, despite the snow, the sky seemed as blue and clear as the middle of summer, the sun beating down across the barren trees at the edge of the garden and the existing layer of snow.

“Huh,” he mused, tilting his head to one side like a dog, “Sure is. Well, might as well make the most of it, Lyds. Kick your holidays off in style.”

As the teenager clattered her way upstairs to change and gather her camera gear together, Beetlejuice found himself gravitating to the back porch, stepping out into the unseasonal weather. Maybe this strange weather had been what had woken him and the Maitlands earlier? Though the same strange supernatural itch seemed to continue as though telling him he was yet to find the source.

“Let’s go!”

Allowing Lydia to loop an arm into his and drag him out of the house as they shouted their goodbyes, they began the walk down to the graveyard. It was a strange combination of the summer sun and the slowly melting snow, and the continued pull of something beyond typical small town life that had been driving him insane all morning.

Once they reached the graveyard, he was quickly distracted by posing for Lydia, even though more often than not he never appeared in photos beyond the faintest blur. It still didn’t stop him from striking ridiculous poses against some of the gravestones or sneaking into frame on others and pulling stupid faces in an attempt to make Lydia laugh.

After a while, Lydia had moved over into an older area of the graveyard to photograph some of the more interesting statues, while he had perched cross legged on top of one of the tombs to keep an eye on things. As she stepped around one side of a mausoleum, she suddenly stopped in place before leaning back to call out to him, attention still focussed ahead of her.

“...hey Beej?”

“Hmm?”

“There’s...someone here.”

The unease in her voice finally refocusses his attention, and he hopped down from his perch to jog over to her. Sure enough, as he stepped around the edge of the mausoleum, he saw the figure pressed up against the wall, almost unmoving. Almost as soon as his eyes fell on her, that same energy that had dragged him out of bed last night sparked something familiar in the recesses of his mind, and the sudden recognition of the woman hit him with the force of a rampaging sandworm.

Juno had roped him into the annual meeting for Persephone’s return to the Netherworld once before his banishment, part of the welcoming committee for the queen. (He also hadn’t been allowed to attend again after the incident with the spiders). At that point of the year, her hair had been vibrant red and orange curls like autumn leaves, and her eyes a bright gold. He’d never seen her quite so deathly pale or with her hair this shade of icy blonde, though he supposed this was more to do with the seasons than the way his hair changed with his mood.

Now he actually understood what had caused the day’s freak summer sun.

Moving past Lydia to crouch down beside her, he carefully reached out to gently shake her shoulder, noticing the ring of scratches and bruises at her throat that had the distinct shape of clawed hands and letting out a string of curses. Who in their right mind had attacked her?

“Perse?”

When she didn’t respond, he couldn’t help but swear again. The longer he looked, the more injuries were apparent; more cuts and bruises, and what looked like a set of claws gashed deeply into the side of her hip to stain her dress and the hand she’d attempted to use to place pressure on it in golden ichor.

“Is she okay?”

Glancing behind him, Lydia had moved closer, clearly concerned at what was happening. Sighing through his nose, he looked between her and Persephone again before making a decision.

“She will be, if we get her back to the house.”

He bent down to carefully pick Persephone up bridal style, making sure he wasn’t about to hurt her any further.

“Sorry we’re cutting this short, Lyds.”

“The graveyard’s always gonna be here,” she replied, “This is more important.”

Clearly she’d managed to pick up on just how worried he was about this giant bombshell that had been dropped in their lap. God-slash-Satan only knew what colour his hair was right about now.

“Grab on, kid,” he said, waiting for Lydia to link her arm in his before focussing and transporting all three of them back to the house. Making a beeline for the back door, he practically kicked the door open as he headed for the living room.

“You two are back soo-,” Adam said as he stepped out of the kitchen before he took in the unconscious woman Beetlejuice was carefully setting down on the sofa, “What on earth happened?!”

Stepping back from the sofa, the explanation Lydia was giving to Adam as Barbara and Delia made their way down the stairs at the sound of raised voices almost seemed to be drowned out by his own racing thoughts as he sank his hands into his hair trying not to panic. How the hell was he supposed to explain a badly injured Persephone if anyone had followed her here? He’d been in enough trouble in the Netherworld before that he was certain they’d jump to the wrong conclusion that he had been responsible and find some heinous punishment to fit the crime of attacking the queen. And what would her husband do about this whole mess?

Fighting back a distinct sense of nausea at the prospect, he was brought back to the present as Barbara gently eased his arms back down, taking his hands in hers to give him something to focus on so he could try and calm down.

“It’s alright Beetlejuice,” she reassured him, giving his hands a soft squeeze, “We just need to know what happened. Who is she?”

Swallowing thickly as he glanced back to the sofa where Adam and Delia were already fussing around to figure out how to dress the wound in her side

“Persephone,” he managed to croak out, “Queen of the Netherworld. And she is so not supposed to be here.”

[rahelawaters]

Prompt #1: Voracious

For @sea-wolf-coast-to-coast‘s #FFxivWrite2019 challenge.

Ao3 link here!

W'rahela was always a hungy child. But she possessed no strength to swing a sword or draw back a bow; she made for a poor huntress, and thus had to rely on her mother, W'yulhia, to feed her. But even then, W'yulhia had to contend with a great deal of obstacles to feed her family. Her hometown was at the very southernmost part of Thanalan; a pointed mesa known as the Gold Fang. It was one of the few settlements south of the Sagolii that still stood. The harbor at Cape Deadwind had been on the decline from pirate attacks even before the Calamity irrevocably wrecked the place and broke the earth, cutting off the entire region from the rest of Thanalan. The W tribe's rivals of the U did not help matters by competing for what little land prey was left. Most of Rahela's meagre childhood meals consisted of various fish from the sands and seas, and little else. Occasions when the W tribe huntresses were lucky enough to bring down sandworms and sundrakes were her idea of a lavish meal…

"And with that, I bid you enjoy the feast!"

Thus, the now up-and-coming adventurer sitting down for the royal feast held in her honor, could scarce believe her eyes at the sight of the impossibly rich banquet laid before her. More foods than she knew the names of lined the table of the Fragrant Chamber, filling her nose with more scents than she could describe. Steaming, freshly-baked bread rolls, with golden brown and bubbly crusts. Countless kinds of meat, some pink, some white, some dark brown, some in-between, all juicy and glistening. Roasted popotoes cut into bite-sized pieces, made colorful with green and red spices. Sauces and melted cheeses to pour over top of everything…

The anxiety she'd had at rubbing elbows with the Ul'dahn . Any and all reasoning that once resided within her brain was henceforth given to her appetite; she was a stormy vortex and all food within her arms' reach was going to disappear within her mouth. Eyeing the meats, she grabbed the biggest fork in front of her and speared slices of every kind onto her plate. With a spoon, she scooped up the popotoes. While her bare hands were all she needed for snatching the bread from its basket.

Her hand was a blur as she formed a small mountain onto her plate. Once she'd had a satisfactory pile, Rahela dug in. She began by taking a roll and chomping down, savoring the crackling crunch of the crust beneath her teeth, contrasted masterfully with the much softer warmth of the bread. One roll, and then two were quickly devoured, at which point she noticed a miniature plate containing a scoop of butter. The third and last roll was quickly sliced open, and a smattering of half-melted butter was smeared between the split before it closed again; Rahela practically purredat the difference that the addition had made in the flavor.

Next were the popotoes; the skin was crisp and salty, the spices giving mouthwatering flavors to what might otherwise be bland flesh. Even better, their compact size meant Rahela could stab three pieces upon a long-pronged fork and eat all three at once.

And the meats… Gods be good, the meats… The tastes of them defied all description. She could never, ever, ever go back to eating fish after this.

Her reverie abruptly ended mid-chew when she chanced to open her eyes and see a masked lalafell looking right at her. The upturn of his mustache indicated that he was… sneering at her. Rahela stared back, confused, unconsciously swallowing her mouthful.

"Your Grace," the masked lalafell said, leisurely turning his head in Nanamo's direction. "I accept that this banquet is meant to hail this, ah… this 'lady' adventurer as a savior of Ul'dah, and is meant to cater to her limited palate. But I ask you all, must we really watch her gorge herself with such reckless abandon?"

"Wh-- huh?" Rahela froze, her ears folding back. Was she doing something wrong? And did he really use air quotes when he called her a lady? What was he saying? "I-I, I was just, I, I…"

"Lord Lolorito," Nanamo spoke up, her voice even, but icy cold. "I ask that you refrain from mocking our guest of honor at her own banquet."

Lolorito? The man who tried to have Wystan killed for wanting to help the poor? The man who terrified Rahela into hanging up her staff for a week, and nearly forever, for fear that the same would happen to her? THAT Lolorito?!

The monetarist goes on, not reacting to the sudden, visible fear that had gripped the adventurer. "Then I ask that the guest of honor act in a manner that reflects as much. I can hear her chewing from here, and her elbows are on the table. Scrawny as she is, I suppose I could tolerate her simply eating quickly; but honestly, I've seen swine with better table manners."

"I fear that not all of us have been entrenched in etiquette lessons since before we could talk," Nanamo deadpanned. "If the sight of a hero vigorously enjoying a well-earned meal is so unbearable for you to watch, then don't."

It seemed that Lolorito had run out of motivation to argue the point any further, because he said nothing else. Despite the mask covering his face, Rahela could still feel him glowering at her. And now, thanks to the scene he made, she could feel the stares of everyone in the room. She'd made a fool of herself in front of the entire upper class of Ul'dah, just by eating in front of them. By not knowing unspoken rules that nobody told her existed. Just by existing and enjoying a nice meal, she was an embarrassment…

The spiral of anxiety was abruptly ended with the sound of a low belch directly next to her. And immediately all the judgemental stares were drawn away from her, and honed in on the source of the noise.

Rahela blinked, and turned her head to the one sitting at her right. The source of the belch was a young midlander man with slicked-back, snow-white hair; there was something familiar about him, but she couldn't put her finger on it. He held a cloth napkin to his mouth, and then cleared his throat. "Do excuse me; the meal was so exquisite that I forgot myself."

That voice! Rahela felt a warmth in her cheeks; she didn't recognize Thancred with  lowered the napkin from his face, and took the briefest moment to give her a knowing wink.

"But what's a little faux pas between friends?" He punctuated with a shrug, and a disarming laugh. The tension in the air remained, but it passed into simple awkwardness as the dinner guests returned to their meals and conversations amongst themselves.

She'd been eating like a slob in front of Ul'dahn high society, and in front of her crush… Thankfully, he seemed to be on her side; and so did the Sultana. But Nanamo was on the other end of the table and Rahela at least knew enough that yelling her thanks across the table would not help matters. But, her mind digressed. "Thancred, I, uh, I, I didn't…"

With a smile, Thancred crossed his arms in his chair. "I wanted so badly to remind him that it was the Monetarist vote that was prevented the Sultanate from giving aid to Cape Deadwind after the Calamity and accelerating its decline into poverty. But I doubt you would appreciate my telling him where your family lives. So instead I opted for the diversion."

"I…" Rahela wanted to say more, but no words would come to her. Instead, all she could communicate was a simple, "Thank you."

"'Twould be remiss of me to sit by and let that bastard humiliate you," he reassured.

"But, Lo--"

"Don't mind him, or any of them. This is your feast, not theirs."

Rahela knew he was right, but… "Still, I went overboard, and made a slob of myself in front of everyone here…"

"And? So what if you did?" The bard shrugged. "A man of my occupation has seen his fair share of well-to-do social events. Etiquette is important for keeping up appearances and blending in, but it's all performative. No need to be self-conscious, friend. Truly, I understand."

"Understand what?"

"Being excited at the prospect of having access to more food than you've ever had in your life," he explained. "For them, a feast like this is nothing; they eat this well all the time. But for starvelings who've never seen so much food in one place, freely offered to them? It's an experience beyond all our imagination. Don't let the upper crust snobs ruin this for you."

(In the din of the room, Rahela didn't catch onto the meaning of Thancred's use of 'our'.)

"In fact, allow me to make your feast even more indulgent…" Pulling some roast popotoes from the pile and putting them onto a small plate, Thancred poured a thick cheese sauce over them, letting it drape over them, followed closely by another, thinner brown sauce. He then nudged the completed dish towards Rahela. "There we are. Popotoes, combined with cheese and gravy; or to call it by its proper name, poutine. You are welcome."

She looked to him, then back to the dish. Scooping up a spoonful of this new dish, she lifted it to her mouth, and… By the gods, he was right; all the flavors she loved in the popotoes combined with delicious cheese and meaty gravy? Somewhere deep within her throat came a high-pitched squeal as she chewed, the look on her face akin to one who'd just reached the Seventh Heaven.

"The only thing I would advise regarding your eating," Thancred advised, while watching her reactions with a crooked smile, "is that you pace yourself. And save room for dessert, of course."

Rahela's ears perked up and her eyes flew open. "There's dessert?!"

"If I know Her Impetuousness' sweet tooth, most certainly."

[ghxstlyhauntings-moved]

⚠ out of harm's way, probably

Emily was terrified. For the first time in many years, the tough, tomboyish girl was absolutely panic-stricken. She was gazing at the drooling, razor-toothed maw of a vicious, hungry sandworm, and she was too frozen with fear to call out for Beetlejuice to help. It was like her whole system just…shut off. Her pupils were small, her heart thumping wildly in her chest as it hissed and grinned menacingly at her helplessness. She shut her eyes as it slithered forth, and she waited for the behemoth to swallow her, sweat beads forming on her forehead and trickling down as her breathing got heavy…

The dark haired teen then let out a noiseless gasp as she felt she was suddenly scooped up by a figure taller than her. Someonegot her away. She couldn’t see what was going on because her eyes were shut, but as soon as she was sure the sandworm was gone from her hearing range, she snapped her eyes open at her rescuer. It was an older woman. Teal hues gazed to her in wonder. How did she get them away from the thing so fast?

Not that it mattered to know right now; They were away from that monster, and that’s what mattered. Emily then breathed her gratitude as soon as she was set down.

“…I don’t know who you are…But thanks a million.”

[shirlleycoyle]

The Cybersecurity Stories We Were Jealous of in 2019

Cyber! Cyber! Cyber! We all love information security here at Motherboard. It seems no one can have enough cyber in their lives these days.

Yet, 2019 was actually kind of a slow year in terms of cybersecurity news, perhaps because hackers are saving their best shots for 2020. Still, there were some truly astounding and enthralling stories published on the internet about hackers, digital privacy, and surveillance.

As we did last year, we’re rounding up our favorite stories not written by us. We call it Motherboard’s Cyber Jealousy list, our annual hat tip to our awesome competitors, friends, and enemies at other outlets. Thanks for being awesome and pushing us to do better and working with us to give readers important stories they need to care about. We love scooping you, we hate being scooped by you, but in the end we’re all working toward the same goal: writing impactful cybersecurity stories in the public interest.

Without further ado, here’s our list of the best infosec stories published elsewhere. Enjoy and see you in 2020!

The Untold Story of the 2018 Olympics Cyberattack, the Most Deceptive Hack in History

By: Andy Greenberg

This is the blow-by-blow account of how Russian government hackers targeted the Pyeongchang's Winter Olympics in South Korea, shutting down part of its IT infrastructure during the opening ceremony. The most surprising part of this hack is that the perpetrators cleverly hid their provenance, with layers of false flags to deceive investigators looking into the hack. The hackers, for example, used a data-deleting tool used by North Korean government hackers, and password-stealing code previously used by Chinese government hackers in an attempt to lead investigators to point the finger to the wrong country. In this story, an excerpt from his new book Sandworm, Andy Greenberg tells us how researchers were able to unravel the web of planted clues and find the real culprits.

The Sinkhole That Saved the Internet

By: Zack Whittaker

In May of 2017, an unprecedented ransomware outbreak hit hundreds of thousands of computers all over the world, including systems belonging to the UK’s National Health Services, forcing health care facilities to turn patients away and close emergency rooms. The virus was called WannaCry, and its viral spread was stopped by two clever security researchers who realized the malware included a kill-switch. This enthralling piece details for the first time what it was like to stop WannaCry directly from the point of view of the two researchers, Marcus Hutchins—aka MalwareTech—and Jamie Hankins.

Inside The UAE’s Secret Hacking Team Of American Mercenaries

By: Christopher Bing and Joel Schectman

DarkMatter, the shadowy cybersecurity company from Dubai, has long been under scrutiny for its alleged shady practices. Chris Bing and Joel Schectman published this bombshell of a story that finally showed faces and concrete stories: the company was using former US intelligence operatives to run espionage operations on behalf of the United Arab Emirates government. A former NSA analyst went on the record for this story, providing documents and other data that showed how American DarkMatter employees targeted journalists and human rights workers, sometimes using a sophisticated iPhone hacking tool to hack their targets. The Reuters duo followed up this deep-dive with another scoop just a few days ago, revealing that White House cybersecurity veterans played a key role in building the UAE’s intelligence apparatus in the late 2000s and early 2010s.

Beto O’Rourke’s Secret Membership In America’s Oldest Hacking Group

By: Joseph Menn

This incredible story about Texas politician Beto O’Rourke’s membership in one of the oldest American hacking collectives, Cult of The Dead Cow, is a wild ride. As part of the hacktivist group in the 1980s, O’Rourke wrote a murder fantasy in which the narrator drives over children, imagined a world without money, and stole long distance phone calls. He didn’t actually hack much, but he was an active member and attended hacker conferences. His membership in the group was kept secret for decades, until Joseph Menn revealed it in this article, part of his book on the hacktivist group. O’Rourke’s presidential bid is over, but, perhaps, his story will help normalize how Americans see hackers in the future.

Undercover Agents Target Cybersecurity Watchdog

By: Raphael Satter

This was legitimately one of the most grotesque stories of the year. Spies working for a private intelligence company targeted researchers at Citizen Lab, a digital rights watchdog known for tracking spyware companies. The spies approached the researchers under false premises and were unmasked when one of the targets, John Scott-Railton, worked with journalist Raphael Satter to set up a sting operation against the spies. When Scott-Railton met in New York City with one of the spies, Satter crashed the meeting along with videomakers to confront the spy. The spy’s operation was so weird and sloppy that Satter described it as “half John Le Carré and half Mr. Bean.”

Inside Google’s Team Fighting to Keep Your Data Safe From Hackers

By: Robert McMillan

This was a good profile of a little-known Google security team that tracks government hackers: the Threat Analysis Group, or TAG. In this piece, The Wall Street Journal’s Robert McMillan scored one of the first ever interviews with TAG’s leader, Shane Huntley, who is a former Australian government hacker himself. Huntley talked about what his team does and what hackers they track, sharing details about some of the operations they derailed for the first time. (Note: Huntley later came onto our podcast CYBER.)

Attacking the Heart of the German Industry

By: Hakan Tanriverdi, Svea Eckert, Jan Strozyk, Maximilian Zierer, and Rebecca Ciesielski

It's always impressive and rewarding when reporters take tools usually reserved for cybersecurity professionals but use them to uncover something journalistically. In this case, a joint investigation by German public broadcasters BR and NDR found that Chinese state-backed hackers had broken into German companies. They didn't do this based entirely on talking to sources, but by scanning company servers for signs of Chinese malware.

"In all cases where Winnti was installed, the malware will respond to our request. This tells us: That company has been hacked," the article reads, referring to the specific strain of malware.

A Multimillionaire Surveillance Dealer Steps Out Of The Shadows . . . And His $9 Million WhatsApp Hacking Van

By: Thomas Brewster

Perhaps the most bizarre cyber story of the year. This is the profile of a shady Israeli surveillance maker, who sells a $9 million hacking van, which is supposed to be able to hack nearby phones equipped with WhatsApp—“the A-Team truck spliced with a Bond car,” as the author of the piece, Thomas Brewster, put it. In the article, the surveillance maker, named Tal Dilian, defended his industry’s reputation, saying people like him, or the controversial spyware maker NSO Group, “are not the policemen of the world, and we are not the judges of the world,” meaning it’s up to their customers to do the right thing, they just provide the tools. Dilian clearly is a believer, as he agreed to show Brewster the van for an accompanying video.

These Hackers Made an App That Kills to Prove a Point

By: Lily Hay Newman

Medical devices’ security has been under scrutiny and under suspicion for a few years now. But this story drives home how dangerous flaws in these devices can be. A group of researchers made an app that can remotely control insulin pumps, potentially giving hackers the ability to hurt—and perhaps kill—patients. "We’ve essentially just created a universal remote for every one of these insulin pumps in the world," said one of the researchers in what’s truly a terrifying quote captured by Lily Hay Newman.

The Inside Story Of The World's Most Dangerous Malware

By: Blake Sobczak

In 2017, an oil refinery in Saudi Arabia was hit by what some described as the most dangerous malware ever used, which had the ability to interact with the plant’s safety systems, potentially causing physical damage and hurting people in the refinery. At the time, the identity of the victim, as well as many of the details of the attack, stayed out of the public’s view. In this long and well-sourced feature, E&E News’ Blake Sobczak revealed the name of the company hit by the malware, the oil giant Petro Rabigh, the people who investigated it, and how the hackers played cat-and-mouse with attempts to kick them out of the company’s network. This story wasn’t easy, as most of the people and organizations involved declined to talk to Sobczak on the record, as it usually happens in such high-profile cyberattacks.

How The U.S. Hacked ISIS

By: Dina Temple-Raston

It’s very rare for hackers who work for intelligence agencies—especially those fighting terrorists—to talk to journalists, given that their work is often classified. NPR veteran reporter Dina Temple-Raston somehow convinced several people who worked for the U.S. military on operations to hack ISIS to do just that. In this story, she reveals how the U.S. Cyber Command and the NSA identified and took down key infrastructure used by the terrorist organization at the height of its popularity—an absolute must-read.

The Cyber speaks: What will actually happen in 2020

By: Kelly Shortridge

As we approach the end of the year, cybersecurity companies—for some reason I can’t really fathom—rush to compile relatively vague, mostly meaningless predictions of what will happen in the hacking world. It’s a yearly tradition very few cherish. No one made fun of it in such a smart was as Kelly Shortride did in this article on Cyberscoop. Shortridde forced a bot to read more than 1,000 (!) cybersecurity predictions and then come up with its own predictions using machine learning. The results are simply hilarious. “Don’t be chilled by what you don’t know. You ain’t cybersecurity.” Amen, dear bot.

Ghost Ships, Crop Circles, And Soft Gold: A GPS Mystery In Shanghai

By: Mark Harris

This story has it all. How do you not want to read this after seeing that headline? Summarizing it may be spoiling it, so just trust us and read this bamboozle of a piece.

Tracking Phones, Google Is a Dragnet for the Police

By: Jennifer Valentino-DeVries

These two companion pieces are as shocking as well reported by veteran Jennifer Valentino-DeVries, someone who was writing about digital surveillance way before many cared about it. In this investigation, she reveals how investigators are using precise locations gathered by Google to track criminals all over America. These investigations relied on a giant, and previously unknown, Google database eerily called Sensorvault, which “turn the business of tracking cellphone users’ locations into a digital dragnet for law enforcement,” as the Times put it.

All The Incredible Ring Scoops All Over The Internet

By: Sam Biddle; Dell Cameron and Dhruv Mehrotra; Kari Paul; Alfred Ng

Ring, Amazon’s dystopian front-door camera surveillance startup, has really been one of the hottest stories of the year. It’s been thoroughly written about and meticulously dissected by so many journalists that it would be almost unfair to single out just one story. So we decided it’s better to name a bunch of them (and forgive us to remind you to read Motherboard own series by Caroline Eha):

Amazon’s Ring Planned Neighborhood “Watch Lists” Built On Facial Recognition

Ring’s Hidden Data Let Us Map Amazon's Sprawling Home Surveillance Network

Everything Cops Say About Amazon's Ring Is Scripted or Approved by Ring

Amazon's Doorbell Camera Ring Is Working With Police – And Controlling What They Say

Ring Let Police View Map Of Video Doorbell Installations For Over A Year

Subscribe to our cybersecurity podcast, CYBER.

The Cybersecurity Stories We Were Jealous of in 2019 syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

[theserpentbox]

U-Boat

The sky was bright and clear the morning the old captain disappeared, but the water was mysteriously black and smooth as a mill pond after a night with no moon. The tide was dead bottom low. He was up before dawn, as was his custom, and he was seen at Fulton’s for bait. He bartered for a box of sandworms with Dewey Fulton and bought a quarter’s worth of Bunker chum he scooped into a Maxwell House…

[gcthamqueen]

Title: she’s like the den mother of hell.

Summary: “If Perse is here in the ass crack of nowhere Connecticut in the middle of winter, what does that tell you about what’s happening in the Netherworld right about now?”

———

A year after the events of the musical, a freak day of scorching sun in the middle of a Connecticut winter lands the queen of the Netherworld in the middle of the Deetz-Maitland household.And they thought letting Beetlejuice stay with them would put an end to the majority of their supernatural weirdness.

Link: [ao3]

***************************

chapter four: the one who sings in the dead of night.

Late night talks between a goddess and a demon.

It’s...early when Beetlejuice wakes up to the sound of movement in the house above him. Down in the den, he had no real idea just what time it was, but given the fact he could actually hear someone upstairs, he could only guess that Sexy One and Two weren’t up and about already. Which only left one option given the resident breathers definitely weren’t awake at this hour.

Sure enough, as he floated up the stairs and carefully nudged open the basement door, he could hear the low sounds of Persephone talking from the kitchen. Moving over to the partially open door, he quietly peered around the edge to where she was sitting near the open window on one of the stools from the breakfast bar. Somewhere in one of the cupboards, she’d found some of the seeds Delia insisted on putting on her various salads and sitting in her palm was a small grey sparrow, chirping away as it pecked at the seeds while on her shoulder was a large black crow. It was only now that he realised that although he had heard her voice, she wasn’t actually talking. Instead, she was alternating between chirps at the sparrow and low caws at the crow in a display that was frankly fascinating to watch.

Grinning to himself, Beetlejuice focussed out to summon a sizeable cockroach right on the back of her hand where the sparrow was sitting, watching in anticipation as it crawled around her arm. Yet rather than shrieking in surprise and spooking the birds, she instead used her other hand to scoop it up gently away from the sparrow, making his jaw drop at her lack of significant reaction.

“Now where did you come from?”

“Well, this is downright tooth-rottingly Disney of you, Perse,” Beetlejuice announced, pushing open the door and flopping into his own chair, running a hand through his unkempt hair.

“I’m not just the queen of the Netherworld, y’know,” she smiled, leaning over to set the cockroach outside with one hand and setting the sparrow and seeds on the exterior windowsill, the crow taking the chance to fly out into the night before she closed the window, “I’m no Artemis, but animals tend to notice when I’m above ground. They get pretty chatty.”

“I’m sure they’ve got some great conversation.”

“You’d be surprised,” she shot back, “I didn’t wake you up or anything did I?”

“Nah. I’m surprised you’re up though. Y’ looked about ready to pass out again.”

“I more or less did. Just...had weird dreams about what happened.”

“What exactly did happen?” He asked after a moment, summoning a couple of cups of coffee and sliding one across the counter to her, “Seems like it’d be suicide for anyone to try and go after you the way they did.”

“Honestly, I don’t remember a lot before I woke up with hands around my neck. Whatever the fuck it was, I had to smash a bottle of sunlight over its head to get free. It was almost...familiar though? Like I’ve encountered something like it before a long time ago, but I can’t place it.”

“Called your Old Man to let him know you’re okay? I figure he’s probably started tearing up half the Netherworld already.”

“You know, I never understood where people get the idea from that Hades is so scary all of the time.”

“You’re kidding right? Half the stories I’ve heard, he sounds like some mafia don.”

“He prefers the term ‘crime lord’ these days,” Persephone replied, taking a sip of her coffee, “Sounds more noble.”

Beetlejuice couldn’t help spluttering on his own mouthful of coffee at Persephone's matter of fact tone, staring at her in astonishment for a moment.

“You’re fucking with me, right?”

“...yeah, I’m fucking with you,” she laughed, her more serious expression fading to amusement, “He’s practically an accountant and literally about the safest choice I could have made even if I hadn’t fallen for him, not that my mother cared. I love her, but she never did want to believe I could have chosen the Netherworld of my own volition. ‘Why couldn’t you have married the god of doctors or the god of lawyers?’. If she��d had her way I would have been her ‘darling little Kore’ forever.”

It was fascinating watching the disgruntled expression that crossed her features as she idly waved a hand over the fruit bowl on the island, the contents inside ripening at her focus to the point where they looked almost freshly picked. Beetlejuice had heard various stories of just how Persephone had gained her position over the years but hearing it in her own words was interesting to say the least. He could certainly relate about her mother.

“Where’s your mom these days anyway? She wasn’t there when I came back in the fall.”

Ah, there was the million dollar question. Beetlejuice opened his mouth to reply before pausing, trying to decide the best way to describe the insanity of how he’d met the others before shrugging and deciding to just be honest

“I got her eaten by a sandworm cause she tried to kill Lydia after she and Chuck ran downstairs when I tricked her into almost exorcising Babs instead of bringing her dead mom back to life and tried to marry her to become alive. Not in a pervy way, strictly business. Just a green card thing.”

He couldn’t help but grin a little watching the wheels turning in Persephone’s head as she tried to process what he’d just told her.

“But...you’re not alive now.”

“Oh, no. Whole thing was one big double cross in the end. Lydia pretended to agree to the wedding so she could kill me and get me banished back home once I was alive again. There was a musical number and everything, then she stabbed me in the back with Debbie's bad art. Look!”

He pulled up the bottom of the t-shirt he’d been sleeping in to expose the ugly red scar in the middle of his chest that marked the method of his murder, making Persephone let out a short noise of surprise.

“That is...so much information to take in that I honestly don’t know where to start processing any of that?” she laughed, “It certainly explains where Juno’s gone though. And I think it practically makes you a hero to half of Customs and Processing since she doesn’t seem to be back yet.”

“Yeah, hopefully she stays gone for a good while longer,” he replied, downing the last of his coffee, “Doubt I’m gonna be welcome back home once she returns.”

“Looking out for me will earn you a couple of favours, you know,” Persephone said, offering him a small smile, “I can pull a few strings to keep her away.”

“Appreciate the thought, Perse, but I’m a grown ass demon. Mom’s my problem to deal with.”

“Fair enough. Offer’s still on the table though.”

“I’ll keep it in mind,” he nodded, “I gave work a call while you were getting patched up earlier, by the way. I know a few people who’ll be able to poke around your place to find out what happened without raising alarm bells you’re up here with us. I’ll let you know what Maria finds out.”

“Good. Not gonna lie, I really want to look whoever jumped me right in the face once we find out who did this,” she said, gesturing to her bruised throat.

“You, ma’am?” he couldn’t resist teasing, “But you’re such a little wallflower. I don’t know how scary you’d be.”

There was a distinctly dark edge to the smirk that crossed her features at those words that almost made him squirm where he sat as she leaned a little closer over the kitchen island.

“My name doesn’t mean ‘bringer of destruction’ for nothing, Beetlejuice. I bet even you’d be surprised how scary I can really be.”