#sandwich was killer tho

[phantomato13]

Literally Happened to Me Yesterday

[red-hemlock]

What Does Your Blood Taste Like?

Tomato Soup

Your blood tastes like a classic tomato soup. Prominent flavors: roasted tomato, basil, and the hint of a grilled cheese sandwich.

Tagged by: (More like stolen from @cxpperhead watch me gooo.) Tagging: (Anyone who see's this. Go forth and do the thing!)

[spring-lxcked]

i hope everyone knows i have a very particular goal in writing william initially having good, loving interactions with every michael i write with and that's that i'm absolutely trying to make when we inevitably write Horrible Terrible Angst 10000x worse

[pinupcitizen]

By modern standards, I am a man, my mother was a man, my grandmothers were men and my abusive ex-husband a dainty lady.

Unfriendly reminder that while you're busy mourning the loss of your childs old gender, claiming you need to mourn the death of your son/daughter, there's a group of boys/girls/enbies scrambling to take your kid clothes shopping, snatching up the chance to take those "first" experiences from you forever. Your sons first fishing trip is gonna be with his best bros, your daughters first makeover is going to be with her girl friends, your kids first camping trip out as themselves is gonna be with the besties. Good luck getting those bonding experiences back. While you're busy trying to guilt-trip your kid with your weird manufactured parental trauma, there's a whole community ready to take your place as the better family.

Your loss, someone elses gain.

[yeonzzzn]

Thinking abt ghost face Heeseung tho 🫣

Dunno how but in someway and scenario Jake walks in two you and Heeseung all over each other. His first instinct was to punch the fuck out of Heeseung, assuming you were in trouble. Only to realise when he sees you absolutely enjoying Heeseung pounding in you like a madman.

He’s crazy pissed about it, although fortunately the sinful sight took over him, pissed wasn’t the only thing he was feeling. He was fucking turned on. Seeing you being so dumb under a guy who WANTS to be him? Nah this sight is straight from his dreams. He ends up joining you two, and you end up being thrown and dominated by the two. Both of them eager to prove to you which cock fucks the best.

I will never get tired of talking about ghostface!jake and ghostface!heeseung and being sandwiched between them🤠

like to have both of them just man handle and bend you to their every will. I am so here for them fighting over you too. mostly to, like you said, prove whose cock can fuck you the best. jake would be so possessive and protective too. always doing what he can to keep your attention on him even when heeseung’s cock is balls deep in your cunt. jake eventually would shove his cock along side heeseung’s in you to stretch you so good and have you all pressed to his chest and biting at your lips while heeseung is whispering the dirtiest things in your ear as his chest is pressed to your back.

oh and of course we can’t forget their knives, now can we? both men would be tracing their weapons up and down your skin as they fuck you into oblivion. jake 100% would cut his initials in your skin and smirk at heeseung in a way of “she’s mine and only mine, don’t forget that.”

god to be squished between two serial killers fucking you while fighting over you? a dream.

[akria23]

Prom / Nont / Nant - Tis but a dream

I love this scene so much cause it nicely presents Prom’s side of the triangle. I honestly don’t think they should’ve even put the dialogue cause the scene itself shows what’s needed.

The dream isn’t about him being obsessed with twins, he’s not dreaming of being the meat in a twin sandwich. He engages each man alternately because it’s about how he sees them, how he feels about them.

The scene of course starts off with Prom in his favorite spot - attached to Nont’s back (I think his apparent love for cuddling tickles me because he’s not exactly mr touchy feely in general so it’s adorable that he’s a level 99 clinger when it’s someone he likes). When an arm slides around his waist and grabs his attention it comes to no surprise that when he turns around it’s Nant. Nant doesn’t look like Nant as we know him tho, he looks exactly like Nont because his hair is dyed. We know it’s Nant because of the small detail of his necklace. This is Prom’s mind, this is how he sees Nant…or rather how he struggles to remember him. It’s not about him seeing Nant as Nont as much as it’s about him starting to lose the details that made Nant, Nant. Nant has his attention but they rest at a sort of stalemate, Prom crouched over him while he looks up at Prom beguilingly. But when Nont turns over and seeks his attention there is no stalemate between them. He’s easily drawn back to Nont. It is Prom that places their heads together, seeking Nont’s space and a connection. It is Prom who initiates a kiss and as they embrace Prom is drawn more to Nont’s side while Nant is left curled up rejected.

This isn’t about the illicitness of twins, it’s about a man’s feelings transitioning from one brother to another. Prom has been trying to hold on to Nant, we saw it during the pool scene in his elation while expressing the possibility of Nant still being alive, in him making the deal with Nont later that night. But it’s clear that Nont is taking up more space in his mind, no matter how hard he tries to hold onto the memory of Nant.

And maybe that blame lays on Nont a bit fore it was he who sought out Prom, it was he who engaged with him under the guise of being his twin, it was he who blurred the lines when he asked Prom to have sex with him like he was Nant, because then the tiny pockets of space he had left for Nant were infiltrated.

The dream was an erotic one but I wouldn’t say it was much about sex at all. Sex is just the common ground both men allowed Prom to take up space in their lives. The relationships he had with either of them was to only be physical and wasn’t supposed to be about emotions. What he had with Nant was a business deal at best - he received sexual services and Nant received money. Any interest seemed to be unrequited. Even though the boundary is more thin when it comes to his relationship with Nont because the other sees him as a confidant, a partner (in the case), and someone he seeks comfort in Nont still made it clear early on that what they had was just supposed to be a temporary physical connection until they found out what happened to his brother. So if his mind is fighting to make him aware of his shifting feelings about both men that’s the space it’s gonna do it from because that’s the space most real to him. I don’t think the erotic aspect of the dream is much deeper than that.

I do think many ppl forget to look at Prom as a person instead of just as a suspect. Which I understand is easy to do cause he’s so measured, impassive, and the mysterious air around him makes it easy to get caught up in seeing him as a plotting killer & forget everything else. However, I think we miss a lot if we don’t consider Prom’s side of things. We consider Nont’s feelings as the brother, we consider the Baddies feelings as the friends, we consider Nuth’s feelings as the victim, but often Prom’s feelings are overlooked - even the admitted ones (after ep8 there were many who asked why Prom was speaking as if he had feelings for Nant or analysis that omitted/disregarded Prom’s admitted feelings). Prom doesn’t seem to have many friends - he never hangs with the Playboyys nor does he seem to have a camaraderie with Porsche. He was in a one sided relationship with Nant who disappeared and was different when he came back…because he was a Twin. This reveal left him having to cling to Nont to maintain access to Nant’s case and the continued connection lead to an emotional bond with Nont. Unfortunately, just as he’s becoming conscious to the sifting of his emotions, old secrets and lies may jeopardize that.

I do think Nont is gonna see the Dog Mask as a betrayal. The combination of sexual compatibility & thinking Prom was secretly in love with Nant made Nont feel Prom could be trusted, that he likely had done nothing to his twin. This trust & relatable care for a man they both missed had him opening the door for Prom to be his partner in sleuthing. Like I said before, Prom was his confidant - he was more open and honest with Prom about the inner workings of his mind when it came to the case than he was with any of the Baddies. He was comfortable with letting Prom at times decide what move they should make, what lead they should follow. Prom used this to his advantage and always led them away from him. Of course I don’t think Prom had anything to do with Nant’s murder no matter if he was Dog Mask or just more intel on it, I think his fear of discovery has more to do with how he feels Nont will react to not only the lie but the actions within the video and the possible motives behind it. What other secrets is entangled with that one? (Personally I wonder if he knew Nont wasn’t Nant from the very beginning - but that’s another conversation.)

Note: I wonder if the reveal of Prom’s secrets will place him in the dog house and have them separating for a bit because that’s something we haven’t seen from this particular pairing. No matter how resistant Nont has been or how they battle on the chess board so to speak, they would still orbit around the other for the case & the pleasure of sex.

Either way, I’m ready for the next episode.

[dragon-chica]

Goldilocks and the Creeps

Fandom: Creepypasta, specifically the old x reader interpretations.

Tendency to write one of these for random fandoms when I have trouble napping

You need a place to sleep, here's a pros and cons list you're tried.

Masky: Has no problem with you sleeping in his bed -he's the problem. Too tired to care about getting changed he flops into bed, on top of his covers still dressed in his jeans and doesn't even bother to kick off his boots. Asleep in minutes and sounds like he's sawing logs. You take his extra pillow to sandwich out the sound.

Bloody Painter: His room retains the coppery scent from old paintings hung on his walls, but his otherwise tidy and welcoming, not a big cuddler and might take the opportunity to paint you after you've gotten comfortable and fallen asleep. Not a bad choice.

Liu/Sully: Liu is wonderful, very respectful and a little shy if you want to snuggle. Quiet and sleeps on his side, has a cozy comforter. Sully just wants to fuck and will wake you up to ask once Liu's asleep.

Eyeless Jack: Seems great, comfy enough bed, doesn't snore, will keep to himself or hold you if you prefer. You can easily ignore that deep intake of breath when his nose is at your nape. All's good until you wake up to him licking you like he's taste-testing if you're done.

Hoodie: Sure you can sleep in his room, but it's so sparsely decorated like a cheap motel room and he sits on the edge of his dresser filming you. He's not being particularly weird about it, normal and chill if you talk to him.

Sally: Offers to share her bed when she hears you need somewhere to sleep! An offer too sweet to turn down, but her pink princess children's bed is too small for you both and you end up the rest of the night on the couch, but thank her with pancakes in the morning.

Dr. Smiley: You were exhausted of everyone else and went down to sleep on his vacant operating table, dragging your pillow and fuzzy blanket along. All was well until he arrives home with a new victim screaming in tow.

Puppeteer: Not the most welcoming but you push past him and flop onto his bed. Will trace little lines down your shoulders and arms while you sleep trying not to wake you, may subtle turn you towards him with his strings to see if you'll cuddle him.

Laughing Jack: Super cuddly and comfy! wraps his arms around you multiple times and just envelops you in warmth and he's soft like felt, great night until you get really fucked up dreams. Can't untangle yourself then either.

Jason the Toymaker: His bed is covered in stuffed toys he has made and he is very comfy to hold/be held by. Doesn't sleep much so if you wake up his bright green eyes illuminate looking down at you, but that doesn't disturb your sleep. Similar freaky dreams again though.

Ticci Toby: Great cuddle buddy, little spoon, cozy to snuggle against. Until you wake up with a bloody nose from his elbow and he's still snoring away.

Slenderman: Does he sleep? Might just 'stare' at you for asking if you can sleep in his bed, without an answer you're not sure if he's mocking you or bewildered by the question, too tired you just try the next one. Maybe Smile Dog's bed is empty.

BEN DROWNED: Very high on the list, just take an eye mask and noise canceling headphones, have his bed to yourself while he games. Plus if you sleep-grab him to cuddle he'll just freeze up at let you. No body heat tho and his room smells like doritos and moutain dew.

Jeff the Killer: Sleeps like he is dead, does not move a muscle, such quiet breathing, not bad if you don't mind the feeling there's a corpse next to you. But if he forgets to put his eye-mask on you turn over and see his eyes flickering back and forth at crazy speeds.

Jane the Killer: She prefers her space but might let you out of pity seeing those eye bags and hearing your issues. Gives you a face mask before bed and it's a proper sleepover until you pass out. Wants to talk pros and cons (you're giving her this list) of everyone later.

Kagekao: 10/10, finally no issues. You two get drunk and chat before bed and you peacefully pass out in a good mood. Lets you sleep in his bed whenever.

[scenezfreak]

Oh hi 🎃 Sorry if this is ass I’m tired and I have to wake up at 6am 🫡 currently 12:12pm for me…fuck, only 6hrs of sleep <////3

Also I might be doing a profile change

Jeff the killer x Fem!Reader x Ticci Toby

• Warnings: threesome, oral (reader giving), rough sex, spanking, public sex??? (Just sex in a graveyard), slight non-con??

MINORS DNI, NOT PROOF READ!!!

“Fuck..” you mutter under your breath. “Why did I think this was a good idea.” The flash from your flashlight shining over the graves, they’re worn down and almost wilted away just like the bodies buried beneath them. Some names were still visible but most were covered in cobwebs. You snap your flashlight the other way when you hear something rustling in the distance. You try and focus your eyes in the dark, forgetting what you came here for. You hear voices in the distance and you quickly turn your flashlight off and you crouch down behind a gravestone.

“Fuck Jeff. This is clearly not the w-way, you got us lost.” You hear a gruff voice say. “Well Toby,” a raspy voice retorts. “You can’t even remember what you ate for breakfast with your damn scatterbrain.” You hear a scoff from the supposed ‘Toby’ and the footsteps continue your way. You can’t move, you’re scared. ‘Come on…move move move-!’ You mentally yell at yourself but it amounts to nothing as the footsteps stop infront of you. Your eyes are closed, trying to somehow comfort yourself.

“Well what do we have here?” The voice known as ‘Jeff’ says amusingly. You hear Toby rush over, “w-what is it?” He stops when he notices you, an amusing “oh” slipping from his mouth. You finally open your eyes, they widen from the shock of seeing them, the white pale man has a smile carved into his face, the other man had a scar on his cheek, exposing the inside of his mouth. You fall backwards from your crouching position and stifle a scream. Your heavy breaths are enough to let them know you’re scared.

Their figures illuminated in the moonlight, wispy fog covering the ground of the graveyard. You hear a laugh erupt from the white man, his voice indicates that HES Jeff, leaving you to assume the other man with a scarred cheek is Toby. Jeff quickly grabs you by the arm and lifts you up. “What’s a pretty lil thing doing hiding around here?” He says, dragging you closer to him. You try to back away but bump into Toby. ‘How did he get there?’ Your thoughts cut off as Jeff grabs your chin, forcing you to look at him. “Not gonna answer, pretty?” Your face flushed, your face was so close to his…why were you getting turned on now?! This isn’t an appropriate time! You mentally slap yourself.

“Aw Jeff, be kind. Maybe this cutie is just shy~ don’t scare her too badly.” Toby presses his chest against your back. You let out a small whine being sandwiched between him. Suddenly Jeff’s grip returned on your arm, pulling you in the direction of a gazebo in the center of the graveyard. You trip and stumble over your own feet, unable to keep up. Finally you reach it and jeff throws you onto the cold ground of the gazebo. You sit up on your knees. Jeff grabs your hair, forcing you to look up at him. “You wanna be good for us and be able to go home safely?” He rasps out with a smirk. You nod, tears pricking at your eyes out of fear even tho your silently rubbing your thighs together for some friction.

You hear a zip from beside you, Jeff forcing you to face the direction of Toby, his cock out. Hard and dripping with pre cum. ‘Fuck…just from looking at me..?’ You thought. “You’ll be a good girl and suck Toby off.” Jeff chuckled out, forcing your head closer to Toby’s cock. You open your mouth and rest your hands on Toby’s thighs for support as Jeff uses his grip on your hair to push and pull your head, essentially forcing you to go deeper. You let out small gags. “Such pretty n-noises, right Jeff?” Toby lets out a barely audible whine. “Yea, shit, I might get jealous.” Jeff replies, unbuckling and pulling down his pants with one hand. He pulls out his cock, letting go of your hair. You release Toby’s cock from your mouth, letting out coughs.

You catch your breath as your look up at Toby, your eyes glossed over from gagging on his cock. Toby almost loses his breath when you start stroking his cock, your doe eyes looking up at him. His hand comes down to rub at your head. “F-fuck…so good” he breathes out. “I need some action too, pretty” Jeff says, sitting down on the bench in the gazebo. You crawl over and takes his cock into your hands and start thumbing at his tip. He sighs, waiting for you to take him in your mouth. You take him in quickly deepthroating him, your nose scrunching up as it presses against his pelvis, his pubes pressing against your nose was only making you more wet.

You feel your pants and underwear being pulled down. You moan around Jeff’s cock as your cunt is being stretched around Toby’s. “S-so damn right!” He struggles to get out. Jeff grunts when he feels the vibrations from your moan travel through his cock. Your nails digging into Jeff’s thighs when Toby starts to pound into you relentlessly. Jeff grips your hair once more to gain more control over you. “Shit- yes just like that. Look up at me, baby.” You comply as your tear filled eyes look up at him. His smirk and praise causes you to tighten around Toby. “Such a damn whore, aren’t ya’ cutie?” Toby says with a rough buck of his hips. You can only whimper around Jeff in response.

You try suppressing your gags as Jeff lifts up his hips to fuck into your tight throat. “Good little slut.” He praised and degrades. You can feel Jeff’s cock twitching in your throat. Soon Jeff pulls you to him with a loud groan, keeping your face pressed against his pelvis as he releases hot milky cum down your throat. “Swallow.” He demands. You comply, swallowing all of his seed. You pull back and gasp for air as you rest your head on his thigh. Toby’s pace quickens. “Be a good whore and tell him how good I’m fucking you.” Toby spits out. “F-fuck ‘s so good…yer cock ‘s filling me up so good…haah-“ you manage to say with a weak filled voice and sore throat.

Jeff relaxing back as he watches your face as you get fucked. “So pretty being used for our pleasure” he coos. You moan out and “oh fuck-“ as you feel the coil in your stomach break, causing you to cum on Toby’s cock. “S-shit…so messy, b-baby” Toby says. He smacks your ass as you tighten around him, feeling your velvety walls clamp down around him is the best feeling he’s probably ever had. He soon whimpers and throws his head back as he finishes inside of you. “Fuck!” He says, you feel warm spurts of cum flood inside your aching cunt. He slowly pulls out and spreads you open to see his seed drip out of you and fall onto the cold floor.

“She really knows how to work her body” Jeff says directingly to Toby, you body has collapsed, your head still resting on Jeff’s thigh. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to call this mission off early and take her back with us.” Toby suggests. “Tch. I still need my fair share of that pretty cunt of hers.” Jeff responds seemingly jealous. “Hey well at least you got to cum down her throat.” “Well nexttime we’ll just switch places.” Toby picks up your body and they head back with you. They’re never letting a pretty thing like you go~.

[hollowtones]

What does the perfect sandwich mean to you

I think for a lot of people (& I might be wrong, & that's okay) the "perfect sandwich" is a very specific, defined thing, presumably with their favourite ingredients made the same way every time. It's concrete. It's an object. It's a solidified idea. And that's fine. This isn't me going "well I'M different and BETTER", it's just different.

I think my idea of a "perfect sandwich" doesn't have any specific categorization and isn't some set recipe. This is vague, but a perfect sandwich is... exactly what I need, exactly when I needed it. That can be a lot of things! That's the point.

Back when I was in college there were some really good sandwich shops nearby, where I could get a banh mi or a submarine & have something filling and relatively cheap that I could carry around with me in between classes, or something quick I could get in the evening if I was working late or getting home late. (There was another sandwich place that was a bit of a walk away that did killer roasted veggie sandwiches, with eggplants and peppers and stuff. I think that was my favourite sandwich, which is different from the perfect sandwich. Also they closed down & got replaced by a shitty bakery at some point. It's probably a fine bakery, I'm just bitter.)

Now imagine it's the middle of summer and it's really damn hot and humid and I'm at home and I'm exhausted. Fully turned into a ghoul from the weather. I don't want to go to the nearby bakeries, let alone take an hour-and-some-change commute to the city, because it's fuckin hot!!!!! You know what else we got in these months, though? Tomatoes, usually!! Good tomatoes. It takes no effort to put tomato on bread or toast with a bit of salt and pepper, maybe a bit of mayo or balsamic, maybe a bit of a hard cheese. I can do that basically asleep. It tastes really fucking good, too.

When I was visiting my partner recently, she made us these little sandwiches for a picnic lunch, on a day we visited some gardens. She baked the buns herself, and they had some mixed greens and deli mustard and some cheese in them. This sounds kind of unassuming when I put it like that. Maybe I'd think that too if it was something I just put together for myself any other day (tho a bit of good cheese and mustard IS really tasty, don't get me wrong). The combination of "my WIFE made this for us" and "it's a beautiful day outside with my partner and I'm very hungry" made it feel very special. I've literally been thinking about these sandwiches months later. I make it for myself sometimes and it's just not the same, haha.

A very short example: Sometimes a grilled cheese hits the spot, & sometimes the exact same grilled cheese feels too rich, too heavy.

I spent 3 hours thinking about this. Sorry if this isn't a terribly conclusive answer. Was very fun to think about, though.

[divijohm]

Jane the killer headcanons

A/n: I'm so gay for this woman omfg you'll notice it as the hcs goes. And I didn't project my autism on her haha that would be so weird imagine that. ALSO GO WATCH NIMONA IS VERY GOOD

💄 She is literally the music Killer Queen - Queen

💄 Is a MASTER at makeup, she's beyond professional level

💄 Listen to girl in red (gay)

💄 She doesn't really like to kill people, she just does so because than she can give a quick death for someone who's likely to be torture by the other pastas. Y'know is more painless

💄 She smell like strawberrys and a tiny tiny bit of ashes

💄 The most polite of the pastas hands down

💄 knows kun-fu and is better at surviving the forest than most of the pastas

💄 Will choke you to death if you ask nicely

💄 Plays FPS games with BEN and Stardew valley with Sally

💄 Doesn't cook very well but is a master of baking. She also does a killer sandwich

💄 Has autism but is VERY high masking, if you don't know what to look for you wouldn't even suspect

💄 Has constants shutdowns because of the masking.

💄 Her special interest is in animation movies

💄 Her favorite film is a Tie between Nimona and Across the spider verse

💄 She has the most beautiful hair in the whole mansion. They're beautiful dark brown medium 4b hair and most of the time they're in box braids

💄Since that hole Jeff incident she can't really recognize herself in the mirror, she knows rationally that that's is her body but is not really her there you know?

💄 knows Sign language, Portuguese (Brazilian) and Spanish

💄 If she still could, she would attend to university and major in psychology. She's studying by herself tho

💄 She's a full on lesbian and will kill every man that tries to flirt with her

💄 she's also on the assexual spectrum :D

💄 Hates sea food

💄 Her confort food is french fries

[duckinsuspenders]

Recently watched 'The Solve It Squad' with a friend of mine and this was basically how he found it:

Was so surprised by the dirty jokes

"Wait... How old are they?"

Gagged by the fact they're middle schoolers

"I hope Cluebert dies" *Cluebert dies* "Wait what"

Very shocked about the squad breaking up because of it. "Cluebert was a Scrags thing, obviously. So why would any of the other team be affected?"

Laughed at the fact Scrags voice was so high pitched despite him being in his 30s

Had to explain to him that when Scrags and Keith put their arms up, they're resting their arms on the van. "Oh.. weird."

"GWEN HAS A HUSBAND AND KIDS?"

So disgusted by Gwen's reaction to Keith. "Bruh you have a HUSBAND."

"Wtf is Esther a druggie?" "OMG SHE'S DOING HEROIN."

This man really didn't like Keith and Gwen's relationship.

Lost his mind at the part about the hotel being covered in jizz.

*Nod your heads like you speak English!* "YOOOOOOOOOO" He loved Scrags after that, supporting the voice of reason.

Kept laughing at Brian playing so many different characters

By this point, he thought Esther was hilarious

"Why are Esther and Keith in the gym?" "Looking for clues." "Ya, I know. But it's such a weird pairing." Obvs he didn't want her hanging around him. BECAUSE I CAN NOT EMPHASIS HOW MUCH THIS MAN HATED KEITH.

Made an announcement he likes Esther after she leaned on Scrag's shoulder to encourage him to do the sandwich trick.

Dead silent during the sandwich trick. Like, watching in silent awe and confusion.

"DAMMNNN" When Scrags yelled at Gwen and Keith. Mans was cheering him on.

When Keith got kidnapped, he admitted he had no clue who the killer could be.

He really didn't want Scrags to feel bad after yelling at Gwen and Keith. "STICK TO IT. YOU'RE RIGHT."

"WHAT THE HELL AM I WATCHING?" During the big chase scene.

Biggest eye roll when Gwen stepped forward and said she felt like the odd one. "Oh SHUT UP."

In the end, he said he hoped Scrag's wouldn't return to the squad cause he's the only normal one.

He enjoyed it tho and seemed a little interested when we watched the Grunch trailer.

[tmwcs]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C5RrRkjvbl8/?igsh=MWxnMnRlaTV2anN3bA==

me to Heethan 😭😭😭

like fr tho i would laugh soooo damm loud if i someone ever told me „you belong to me“

Siiiis let me telllllll you!

(Some spoilers if you haven’t read all the series on my blog; ‘Mermaids Tale’, ‘Double Trouble’, ‘MGR/MRE/HHP’, ‘SE7EN’, and ‘The Otherside’. )

- heethan: if this mofo was real, he would be EXACTLY like how he is drafted in all the chapters. Your everyday life will change dramatically. If you’re working or going to school, he’d tell you to quit and stop so he can take care of you and keep you in a house or apartment or whatever 24/7 under his eye. If he’s going to school or work, he’d have your set up for success with everything you possibly need so you won’t go out, and ofc he’d have a solid locking and security system at the door where he can monitor through his phone to ensure you’re not trying to escape. Not to spoil HHP but man has connections and eyes everywhere….eveb if you did manage to leave, you ain’t going far. Plus he had your identification, your passports, and all of your debit/credit cards locked up. You’re stuck. Yes he’s one of those types but it’s all in the name of love (and obsession) for his y/n. He’s also protective asf so yeah….be ready to live the sheltered life with this man (but also spoiled and him living for your happiness.)

Heelel: oh my god….this devil. Listen, it’s bad enough to have a mortal man like heethan obsessed with you and using everything in his means to keep you, but to have heelel (the devil) to be in love and obsessed with you?…..there is nothing this man does not control. Heaven and earth, don’t matter. You have absolutely no chance…none. You reside in hell and under his watchful eye ALL THE TIME. Ofc he is beautiful, he is a fallen angel and was Gods favorite, he’s not going to appear as a little red man with horns and a tail. Naw. He’s dressed fashionably in those fine suits, wears those finger clawed jewelry cuffs, switched between ash blonde to black hair, and always has that damn smirk on his face with very dark eyes that will glow red when he gets…excited. He prefers you baked so he’ll keep you in subtle chains barely dressed in transparent sashes that don’t cover much and keeps you in that pedestal so he can admire you. Licks his lips, rocks your hips, and squeeze your tits. Treats you like a prisoner but also a queen, a goddess. You are above all things and you deserve everything to be at your disposal. You are his and only his, for eternity.

Heebros: oh man…if you find it hard to get into sharing yourself with two men…this will be a hard one for you to adjust. Imagine two beautiful men, twins, being obsessed and in love with you, shelter you away, and force their love onto you by making you take them…both at the same time. And these two love the thrill of taking you anywhere and anytime. Imagine you three going to a fancy dinner and Heejeong politely tells everyone at the table “please excuse us, y/n has to use the ladies room.” And Heeseung pulls out your chair and says “I’ll aid you in escorting her.” And they drag you out into Themis grand hall and take you into the elegant bathroom where they lock it and spend an hour or two standing with you in the center and one is hitting it (hard I might add) from the back, while the other is holding you steady and rocking your hips from the front. Your dress is falling off and is just a mess from all the juices splattering and coating your legs and pelvis. After they’re done, they don’t bother to continue on with dinner, they just take you and go back home where they can give you a nice sponge bath, lick you dry, and sandwich you in the center of the bed with them spooning you, front and back.

Heeler: lord….i can’t tell what would be more scary, belonging to heelel or this serial killer. He’s rich, has good connections to support his corrupted acts, and is so hirby just by the smell of you, the moment he touches or sees you, game over. And he’s so damn twisted and unhinged. Heelel is too, but he’s the devil and can have some level of composure bc he can contain himself as an immortal but heeler? I don’t know what it could possibly be like to have a serial killer obsessed with you and feeling the need to protect you at all times after rescuing you. At least your lifestyle wouldn’t be so bad, minus the fact that this delusional fella would take you against your will to “train” you do that someday you’ll willingly give yourself to him and learn to love him the way he loves you.

Heedam: I have a soft spot for heedam yall. This man is so classy and fine, his attitude and his charisma. He’s so smooth and bc of his DNA, man has skill and talent that makes him invincible. Used to be a part of the SWAT team, adapts to water, sings a tune and hypnotizes girls, CEO of a corporation and murdered a family member to save you…and he keeps you so close to him. He sings to you all the time, and makes you sing to him. With you both having the bloodline of Poseidon and he having the line of Alexander the Great, you both are a perfect match for each other. And ofc he is going to make you bear him sobs to continue the bloodline. It’s only a matter of time. “Can you hear the ocean baby?”

[radiant-reid]

wait i have more thoughts on baby reid x reader roommate au

• spencer coming home after his first day and he’s so anxious and scared -bc 1) serial killers = scary and 2) he’s working with a bunch of amazing and impressive people and they just see him as a kid- and y/n makes him a pb&j sandwich to make him feel better and she CUTS THE CRUSTS OFF BC SHE KNOWS HE HATES THE TEXTURE and it’s just a sweet moment bc he feels so loved and cared for

• y/n and spencer have a weekly movie night and spencer usually picks out documentaries and even tho y/n hates them, she pretends to like them so he doesn’t feel like a burden. 🥹.

• y/n and spencer have a weekly movie night and spencer picks out a french film and he and y/n end up “platonically” cuddling and he’s whispering translations into her ear and- whoops! where did her clothes go?!

• spencer told y/n to borrow a book of his bc he thought she might like it and she did and now he gives her books with handwritten notes in the pages like “this next chapter has…” or “do you think person a and person b…”

eventually she just starts coming into his room when she can’t sleep and taking whatever book he has on his nightstand (he gets flustered and can’t stop smiling when she does it bc it’s so domestic and cute snd he maybe miiiiight have a tiiiiiiiny crush on her)

• y/n hears spencer having a nightmare and he doesn’t wanna tell her that all the victims looked like her so she just holds him and plays with his hair until he can fall asleep

-💼

Yes !! All of this

I also love the idea of them having actual platonic sleepovers but they don’t want to sleep alone so they both sleep in the lounge and then they just keep sleeping there so they can sleep together without it being labeled as together, and they both think they’re so smart for finding the loophole while wishing they could tell each other how they feel

[jade-kyo]

RvB 20th rewatch: s7

I’ve got a killer headache right and instead of resting I’m watching more rvb… so if I seem even more deranged than usual at least I’ve got an excuse lol

“Right where I want you! Within face stabbing range” first heavily quoted line of the season

Simmons is such a little freak of a man. They should’ve made him worse.

Caboose being able to perfectly understand the ai and freelancer situation was the greatest character choice made for him honestly

I DEMAND COOKIES

“At least I don’t go around knocking on people’s non-doors promising them cookies and then not giving them cookies! IM LEAVING!!” This is another one of those lines that my brothers would always reference when I was a kid so I just grew up hearing it all the time

WASH!!!!

Seriously have we considered sargenut

Honestly this is kind of a red team season.. +Caboose of course

“I’ve always come out fine both physically and………….. mentally!” Possibly the most quoted line in the show I use this one so much

THEM DRIVING INTO THE OCEAN IS THE BEST BIT

SARGE PRAYING AKDHKAHSKDH

Caboose is also a cockroach

There’s such a good nuance to Sarges character that no one ever acknowledges

“Caboose would make a great dad” you know what I agree

Seriously tho this is such a red team season

TUCKER MY SON MY BELOVED

Listen I know it’s debated if Tucker ACTUALLY knew Church was an ai but my personal take on it is that he did not know but what he did know is that these fucks were absolutely dumb enough to believe he figured out that information long before it was revealed so he claims he knew church was an ai just to get a one up on everyone else

SIMMONSIZED

What is wrong with him

Epsilon… the little fucker, my beloved…

I think one of my favorite parts of this show is how they’ll drop the most insane lore about one of the characters and then just never elaborate on it. Anyway Simmons ate dogs.

“It’ll be a donut sandwich mmhmm” vocal stim acquired

Love how Tucker was asking for Church but the moment he actually comes back Tucker is just like “oh right this guy was a massive dick” he’s so done with him 😂

Green is Church’s favorite color! …. *remembers Carolinas eyes* I am in agony

BADASS TUCKER

He’s so cool

MY NAME IS LEONARD CHURCH AND YOU WILL FEAR MY LAZER FACE

VILLAIN WASH!!!!! He’s so hot

LOPEZ!!!!! DONUT!!!!!!!!!

It’s okay they’re cockroaches

“What in the hell makes you think I’m gonna ask for it” SUCH A GOOD LINE DELIVERY!!!! RAHHH MAKES ME FERAL

And now… season 8… oh I am gonna go fucking feral

[bluebunnyears-08]

An overwritten essay on why Cuphead is the best baby boi and underrated

Alright, so I love The Cuphead Show! It is one of the only good children's cartoons I genuinely enjoy because of how good it is. There are so many wacky and loveable characters on the no-so-normal-at-all Inkwell Isles. You can see fucking walking hamburgers and sandwiches, like, what the hell is this place?

Nonetheless, there are several titles given to many characters. Bon Bon is Crazy Queen, Briney is Pirate Simp, and Cala Maria is still the hottest of queens (that hasn't changed).

However, throughout multiple media, there is one title only given to those who are so small and cute you just want to protect them because they can't protect themselves:

The title of Best Boi.

Now I know all of you are probably saying who you think deserves this title. But I know who it is already. The truest of best bois:

Cuphead.

Now before you start shouting and yelling at my "stupid and untrue" (but totally correct) decision. Some of you are saying Mugman is, but I mean come on we all know that Mugman is the MVP, the crazy going-to-be-a-serial-killer, failed straight man (both in tropes and literally), of the show.

Now I have my reasons for this post. And I'm going to lay them down. So ladies and gentlemen, or fucking literally spaghetti and sandwiches, here are my many reasons why Cuphead is the best boi of this show.

So look my first reason is the fact that this kid is legit the only SANE one in the ENTIRE show. Like Elder Kettle is a fucking pyromaniac who tried to kill his grandkids on several occasions, and Mugman...which...

Jesus this mug needs some fucking therapy or anger management lessons.

And come on his friend is still a con artist (I still love her tho), the devil is the devil, Dice is fashionably vain and has an I want to be appreciated by my gay boss complex, and henchmen is...actually henchmen is cool, being the REAL straight man, but other than these two the other characters have fucking problems.

All this kid really did was neglect his chores to have fun and that's it (I know some of you are talking about the CRAPPY Lost in the Woods episode but I'll get to that). Unlike the other characters, he NEVER ONCE expressed any malice, aggression, or sadism towards ANYONE or anything. I know you all are saying henchmen didn't have that either but I'll talk about him later.

Going back to this, let me remind all of you that Cuphead is a CHILD, and so is Mugman but, he's too gone to be saved let's be real. This cup is a child, so of course, he's gonna be a brat sometimes. And even I roll my eyes when he does something. But I mean we were all little shits back then, that's a FACT.

Another thing, he's not a pushover. He WILL call people out or stand up to people who were being jerks, and that's actually one of the traits I like that he has. In most kids' shows, the protagonist is overly nice, shy, or overconfident, and just ORDINARY and BORING. In The Cuphead Show, Cuphead is NOT that. He's a troublemaking brat who constantly forgets to look where he leaps, but there is SO MUCH MORE to him than just that.

What I can appreciate about this show is that these characters show more and more depth as the show goes on (which is why this show needs to be renewed!). And the plot twists are actually good.

Cuphead is the troublemaker trope. He is a mischievous brat, but now that I rewatch this show he acts exactly like what he is, a KID. Not to mention the fact that there is more to him than meets the eye. He is scared of the Devil, not because his SOUL is in danger, but because this is a deity that can take away everyone he loves. He is surprisingly humble, accepting that he lost on Dice's show, and doesn't call himself a hero not ONCE, even after he freed souls from damnation from the devil. He can be cocky, but he doesn't ever rub these successes on ANYONE, not even the Devil, who he struck with his own pitchfork.

He has hidden talents, being able to play the piano like a fucking G and being able to be smart at certain things, like sparking back a show like he did for Dice (which was honestly so fucking nice of him, even after this guy from his perspective rigged his show, he still remained a huge fan of him). He can be dumb at times, but most of the time, that stupidity is more childish naivety when you look back on it (the only exception is when he couldn't guess simple questions on Dice's show).

He can have some self-control, being able to refuse Bon Bon's bitch castle. He was willing to give Chalice (who left him and his brother in jail) the benefit of the doubt and still considered her his friend, only getting mad at her when she reveals she lied about a fucking MOB (I'd be mad too).

Not to mention, he is a pretty brave kid. He WILLINGLY went into hell to get his brother back, I honestly DO NOT KNOW WHY PEOPLE DON'T TALK ABOUT THIS MOMENT MORE and faced the Devil. He won, also freeing the captive souls. People need to comment on this moment more because it is awesome. And going back in season 2, he demanded the ghosts to release Chalice when she was stuck in a painting. So, he can be a coward, but when it comes to those he cares about, he toughens up.

Another thing is that he can be a total sweetie. He's not as polite as his brother, but he is a bit of a sweetheart. He constantly comforts Mugman and encourages his brother's confidence, he doesn't blame or hate Chalice even when she ditched them to the stony lonesome, he isn't really that antagonistic towards the Devil as Big D is to him, he frees the souls, he helps king dice, in the Christmas special he admits he hasn't been perfectly good stating it's hard to stay good all the time (which is understandable), just being grateful for Santa (the devil) showing up and being able to meet him, even apologizing for "misjudging" the Baronness (even though he was totally right), and (other than that bitch Jimmy) never really showed any grudges toward anyone.

Another is that he shows remorse and takes responsibility for his actions. Even when that psychopath Bowlboy was planning a double suicide (pretty much what happened in a nutshell), and he got out of it, he still showed concern for the crazy bastard when he got launched off in a rocket.

The other thing is that he is a very fun protagonist, and he actually makes things happen. Like, no offense I love Mugman, but if it was just him, all we'd see is just him doing boring chores and miaming ice cream men.

...actually, I'd be down to see that, but I like Cuphead's optimism and hot-headed self-balancing out Mugman's pessimism and...hot-headedness...

The last thing is that...

He's adorable! They did well with his design. A simple kid with simple clothes who likes risk and adventure, but has childish charm and cuteness. He's small, got those big cocky eyes, and has optimism and an innocent attitude that's undeniably endearing. He can be annoying, but his happy personality and tendency to look on the bright side of things make you just want to hug and squeeze him. Especially when he's sad. Because he doesn't get sad or cry often, it hurts when he does cry or make this face that'll break anyone's heart:

I'm sad now.

I wanna hug this sad boi.

Now, I know all of you are saying that Henchmen is the best boi, but not really, he's adorable and I love him. It's just the fact that he isn't hateful or sadistic, but he doesn't really do much about it. He does tell the devil that blowing up annoying ass elves is not something Santa would do. or something, and he has a bet with the devil (that he deserved to win). But that's really about it. He isn't really miserable or sad, so you don't want to hug and squeeze him.

Again, I LOVE henchmen, I just haven't really wanted to give him a big hug because I don't want him to be sad. He's a cute character, but not really one that you feel sad for. And that's good, I never want to see him sad.

Now, ALL of these traits that I wrote down that help explain why Cuphead is the best boi is EXACTLY why I HATE the Lost in the Woods episode because, WHERE THE HELL DID ALL OF IT GO? Mugmans is still the same, delusional, sociopath, MVP, but where the hell is Cuphead?

That's NOT my baby boi!

All in all, Thank you for taking you time to read this overwritten essay. Leave what you think in the comments or don't if you don't want to. I just wanted to write this out.