#sands rewatches bleach
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Okay.
Trying to say this in a nice way- that when Blacktober comes out instead of drawing canon black characters people go out their way to make edits and yknow thats fine you do you. But in case people online who participate and think ah I forgot about this character from this show oh well. SO heres a compilation that I made;
Lola Mbola best friend to Mc in the Show "Robot Boy." And John Stewart in Justice League [My favourite character as a kid along with hawkgirl] Along with Vixen and Cyborg from Teen titans cartoon network [I would show pictures but tumblr only has ten limit ;^;]
Boom Crew isn't a great show by all means but I remember watching a couple episodes at night and enjoyed them as a kid.
Codename kids next door: Number Five and her sister I have to say these two were my favourite having two siblings as rival of kid VS teenager, and how I thought NUmber five would take over as the leader when Number one got older - HONESTLY why isn't there a sequel of Codename and have all the kids becomming teenagers and fighting against the kids AND adults???
Next is Erwin from Billy and mandy along with Dracula although I'm not sure what the census on dracula if thats racist or just the best thing ever along with Grim having a jamacan accent so take this one with a grain of salt. [if it is problematic let me know I'll remove it from the list]
Then next is Kinkade and Hunk from voltron [Voltron is hot garbage but the characters are FINE though, so yeah]
Then theres Naruto with Killer bee and the Sand village [I think it's been a while I may need to rewatch it]
Then theres Static Shock [The og miles morales Lol] In the sense that both are the kids who look up to older father figures who are their idols [batman superman/spiderman] are basically the audiance adjacent wacky teenager with the world on their shoulder/ electric powers and how they have episodes/moments that discuss racism.
Then theres Kaleido Star, Carlos is THE boss and is in charge of Kaleido stage an anime about circus performers [acrobatic with story telling its really good] and mr policemen who is the main characters number one fan and is really funny.
Then theres Tucker and Valerie from Danny Phantom;
Oh yeah and Bumblebee
Then theres Vincent from recess [face it he was too cool for Tg and the others]
Then Sasha from Bratz
Then Anythy from Revolutionary Girl Utena [Sapphic too] As well as Yosutora from bleach.
So a/n: As a kid I used to trace/edit make rpcs and recolours of naruto/sonic the hedgehog characters so making edits is something I'm fine with- its just seeing the Blacktober tag and seeing nothing BUT edits? Also if people want to reblog and add their own characters and include more since I havn't touched on Disneys Moana/ Tiana/ Kazazi Moto and the episode compilations and proud family, I just thought of placing all the characters here in case I forgot ^^; this post wasn't meant to be rude just a post compilation.
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When Ukitake just stepped up to stop Byakuya on the bridge and said “Kuchiki! You look thinner.”
And his shocked face at seeing Ichigo who looks a lot like Kaien.
And how he says he will save Rukia.
Jesus I just wanna marry that man. Why so perfect?!
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Hi, I hope you don’t mind me sending a request for recs! Do you have any recommendations for nature documentaries, particularly those centered around conservation, climate change, or Indigenous cultures?
Please always feel welcome to send me messages. Thank you for trusting me enough to ask for recommendations.
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I really hate to sound like a condescending Sp0tfy ad narrator while giving free publicity to a company. So, sorry about this. Don’t wanna give this company too much credit.
They have some hits and misses, so I’d take each film with a grain of salt just to be safe, but I’d recommend Bullfrog Films, a specialty production house that usually gets marketed to university departments (environmental studies; geography; etc.). Depending on the director/producer of individual documentaries, some of them aren’t so good (some are a little too supportive of the UN or “sustainable development,” but others are more radical). Many of the documentaries were originally produced by independent filmmakers or other production houses like CBC/BBC, but they’re still available through Bullfrog. They’re expensive to order/purchase for yourself, but many university libraries stock their films, and it’s possible that an instructor, academic department, or library would be willing to order or pay for digital copies of the films.
Bullfrog has hundreds of films, and their documentaries specifically focus on ecological/climate change, Anthropocene, degradation from development and resource extraction, and Indigenous resistance.
There are individual documentaries about local resistance to golf course resort development in seaside Philippine villages; lack of internet access in Polynesia; lynx ecology in the Yukon; flour-milling industry in Yemen; ecological effects of nighttime light pollution; oil industry control of state government in Louisiana; the Porcupine caribou herd of the Brooks Range and Yukon; the buyout, bulldozing, and poisoning of Cheshire, Ohio, by coal industry; collapse of North Atlantic cod population because of climate change and New England fishing industry; tobacco company expansion in India; the “greenwashing” of corporate organic food; developmentalism and Afro-descendent community in the Choco-Darien bioregion; relationship between salmon and rainforest in Great Bear Rainforest; Native resistance to Yellowstone’s slaughter of wandering bison; N!ke factory labor practices in Indonesia; the mass coral bleaching of 1998; anti-extractivist communal living in El Salvador; Mt. Shasta and cultural appropriation of sage by white Bay Area Californians; water rights on the Wind River Indian Reservation; a 22-part series on globalization’s effects on cities/urban areas of the Global South; the jack mackerel fishing industry and “the looting of the Pacific”; the “lost landscape” of North American tallgrass prairies; Lakota efforts to protect “Devil’s Tower”; and a lot more.
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Here’s a look at some of their categories of films:
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One thing they often due is a sort of holistic or interdisciplinary approach, where a single documentary feature about, say, Indigenous autonomy will draw parallels between movements in one global region and another.
For example, I recently rewatched the 4-part series “Standing on Sacred Ground”. The titles in the series (with descriptions from Bullfrog’s site):
Islands of Sanctuary: “Aboriginal Australians and Native Hawaiians reclaim land from the government and the military, and resist the erosion of culture and environment”.
Profit and Loss: “From Papua New Guinea to the tar sands of Alberta, Canada, native people fight the loss of land, water, and health to mining and oil industries.”
Pilgrims and Tourists: “In the Altai Republic of Russia and in Northern California, indigenous [peoples] resist massive government projects that threaten nature and culture.”
Fire and Ice: “From the Gamo Highlands of Ethiopia to the Andes of Peru, indigenous highland communities battle threats to their forests, farms, and faith.”
I love the inland temperate rainforest region, and Bullfrog provides access to one of the only documentary features on the long saga of Indigenous resistance to the Jumbo resort development project (the documentary is called “Jumbo Wild”.)
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Their website is easy to navigate; you can view short descriptions for each film. And again, many university libraries might have DVD copies or access to digital copies. And since they collect/promote films from various other producers, you could even just use their list of films to identify the ones you’re most interested in, narrow-down, and then you could search elsewhere online to see if those films are available for free/discounted.
Hope some of this is helpful.
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I accumulated all those tag games again I am so sorry! But here we go!!!
Tagged by Ana <3 (@gojosattoru) thanks love!!
LINK!
Tagging: anyone who wants to do it!
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Tagged by @ruluxe (hi five here Ru! of course we'd be edgy haha "the 00's teens right? lol)
Aesthetic!
rules: bold all that applies to you
SOFT: 7/20 🌸
baby pink | iridescent | glitter is always a good option | no bra | minimalistic tattoos | cherry patterns | sweet scented perfumes | wearing generous amounts of blush | doodling hearts | getting excited to pet an animal | fun nails | rewatching old barbie movies | hair sticking to glossed lips | heart shaped sunglasses | taking pictures of the sunset or sunrise | stuffed animals | protecting nature | stickers everywhere | teen movies | the light rain that falls from a clear sky at the beginning of the night
DARK ACADEMIA: 6/20 📜
neutral tones | masculine outfits | studying languages | worn down copy of books | grey skies | turtleneck sweaters | loose fitting pants | hair tied with a silk ribbon | trying to remember a cool difficult word you read somewhere to use in a convo | thick belts | minimal makeup | windows fogged by rain | vintage jewelry | blouses with cuffed sleeves | reading a murder mystery and trying to solve it | oxford style shoes | sweater vests | subtitled old movies in a language you don’t speak | leaves crackling as you walk | annotating books to express your emotions about the story
EDGY: 11/20 🖤
closet full of dark clothes | fishnet tights | makeup sweating off | neon signs | searching for unknown songs | chokers | band tees | doodling on old converses | finding smoking aesthetically pleasing but not doing it | weird humor | accidentally very dramatic | dim lights | layered outfits | chain belts | chipped nail polish | messy hair | low quality pics | piercings | combat boots | scribbling on desks
70s: 6/20 🍄
colorful wardrobe | doodling flowers | wearing short shorts | using a bikini top or bra as a normal top | listening to ABBA | flowers in your hair | DIYing everything | jamming to songs alone in your room | drunkenly telling your friends you love them | patterned bandanas | mid heeled shoes | messy braids | flared sleeves | walking barefoot on grass or sand | bold sunglasses | the good kind of tired you get after doing something you enjoy for hours | feeding stray animals | fun patterned socks | room decorated with succulents and other plants | likes to go roller skating or skateboarding
PREPPY CASUAL: 4/20 🥂
collared clothes | drinking juice out of a champagne glass | getting excited to see the met gala looks | thick headbands | small pastel cardigans | making your friends take your ootd pics | plaid mini skirts | tweed two pieces | watching reality tv to pass time | frilly tops | watching old hollywood movies | academically driven | long manicured nails | new year’s eve fireworks | colourful tights | layered golden jewelry | yearns for luxury brand items | decorating your room with fairylights | cursive and neat handwriting | lace details
Tagging: @hanae-ichihara @x0401x @roronoazooro @gojosattoru @tokoyammi @itadorii-yuuji
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Tagged by @itadorii-yuuji thank you! that was fun doing (I had to actually think some of those answers lol)
1) your favourite bands/singers?
Godsmack, Linkin Park, One Ok Rock, Miyavi, Slipknot
2) favourite animal?
Wolves and Tigers.
3) do you have any fears/phobias?
If there's a big ugly spider in the house then it's me or it inside of the house we both cannot exist in the same space.
4) what food you don't like?
I used to be more picky now I don't really care or have a food that I don't like... but I guess I still don't like eating mangoes.
5) does pineapple belongs on pizza?
Judge me all you want. YES Hawaiian pizza is soooo good!
tagging: @ryomenssukuna @kitsukkis @kmuiyato @invmakii @izukatsukiis (and whoever wants to do that)
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Tagged by @ruluxe thanks sweetheart!!! <3
10 fandoms, 10 characters, 10 tags
(in no particular order - except Grimmjow lol)
1. Grimmjow Jeagerjaques, Bleach
2. Kirishima Eijirou, BNHA
3. Hibari Kyoya, KHR
4. Kagami Taiga, KNB
5. Kuroo Tetsurou, HQ
6. Killua Zoldyck, Hunter x Hunter
7. Roronoa Zoro, One Piece
8. Tomioka Giyu, KNY
9. Kaworu Nagisa, NGE
10. Fushiguro Megumi, JJK
Tagging: @asuuka @natsutakashi @tohaki @shinixgami @asagao @makiema (and whoever wants to do that)
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TAG PEOPLE YOU WANT TO KNOW BETTER
Tagged by @ruluxe thanks Ru!!! (and sorry I ended up answering this one really late!)
Name: Kuroos
Relationship status: still recovering from a long-term relationship -- I mean, single
Favorite color: green, blue, black, rose-gold
Pets: Mochi (orange tabby), Amora (grayish hair with other colors) and Miya (pitch black panther lol)
Favorite food: Pancakes!
Coke or Pepsi: neither but if I had to choose I'd go with coke.
Day or night: night - I'm a night owl!
Chapstick or Lipstick: pink lipstick
Text or Call: Is it a life or death kind of situation? No? Text me then.
Last song I listened to: Eye of the Storm - One Ok Rock
Favorite band/artist/group: Godsmack, Linkin Park, One Ok Rock, Miyavi, Slipknot
Any hobbies: writing, reading, manga coloring, watching stuff, playing video games...
Tagging: @saeitoshi @sstarphase @porco-galliard @todorokishou @zenin-makis
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Hello and welcome to Tumblr! I'm glad to see another Bleach blog. :) May I request a scenario in which Grimmjow falling for a shinigami girl who was taken prisoner in Hueco Mundo? Maybe she helps him during the time after his arm is cut off and also helps heal him after his final battle with Ichigo. Sorry if this is weird or too specific! Also, good luck with this blog !!!
Not weird or specific at all! We love Grimmjow requests in this household.
Also just a heads up, I’m rewatching Bleach right now and it’s been awhile since I’ve seen the show so if I get anything factually incorrect please let me know!
Also I have NO idea why the spacing is so weird in this scenario. Tumblr is strange, sigh.
★彡
Grimmjow lost. He lost, all because of that damn Nnoitra. The thought of it boiled his blood; he wanted nothing more than to go after the bastard and kill him for taking such a cheap shot at him like that. He couldn’t move, though. It was over, and he was sure he was going to die where he lay. The coarse grains of sand chafed his bruised and battered cheek, embedding themselves into the various open wounds on his body, grating into him like sandpaper, blood pooling from his body onto the white sands around him. He really lost. Unable to even ball a fist or groan without feeling as if shards of glass were etching themselves into his deep wounds, all Grimmjow could do was wait. Wait for death, he assumed. ‘Damnit,’ he thought. ‘So this is how I die.’ He was confident he could have taken Nnoitra if it hadn’t been for the element of surprise, but none of that mattered now. He tried to scoff, but his lungs felt raw and weak, the strength leaving his body along with the steady flow of blood. ‘Damnit.’
“Grimmjow!”
The voice was distant, so faint that he thought maybe he imagined it. However the voice rang out again, this time closer and accompanied with the sound of footsteps sliding through the glistening sands. “Grimmjow!” That voice, it sounded familiar. At this point his pesky thoughts were growing hazy. Grimmjow couldn’t quite point the voice out.
“Grimmjow?!” Delicate hands grabbed his rugged shoulders and pushed him over onto his back, a shaky hiss of pain croaking through Grimmjow’s chapped, sandy lips. He could make out a figure, although it was blurry. A woman for sure, by the sound of her voice. He blinked once, twice. She was speaking hastily but he couldn’t make out the words that she was frantically saying. He blinked again, three times in rapid succession this time. Just barely he could make out the color of her soft strands of hair, the worry etched into the middle of her eyebrows, her big, doe-like eyes that looked panicked. Ah, it was that Shinigami. ‘What a weird woman,’ Grimmjow thought, to be looking so distressed over him, one of her captives. He couldn’t understand it. It didn’t matter, though, as the edges of his vision began to fade to black. This was it, the end of the King, fallen so ungracefully from his throne, weak and pathetic in a pool of his own blood. His last thoughts cursed that damn Nnoitra, as well as the strange Shinigami girl who was still frantically speaking as if he could even respond to her if he wanted to. ‘Damn them all.’
๑๑๑
The waiting was torture. No matter how hard you tried to take your mind off of things, off of him, you always found yourself right back at his bedside, waiting for him to wake up. The vibrant, electric blue hair was stark in comparison to the white walls, floors, and bed in which he lay. His face was scarred and bruised, and even while unconscious held a distinctive, angry scowl on it. You weren’t completely sure why you cared so much about whether the man lived or died. When you had escaped the fortress of Las Noches amidst all the chaos caused by your Shinigami friends you had expected to be free, to reunite with everyone and return to Soul Society. However, to escape and see that same vibrant, electric blue head of hair, surrounded by crimson staining the pearly sands around him, you had found yourself unable to walk away. Perhaps you would have been back home by now if you had left him there to die, but you couldn’t. Every string in your body pulled you right towards the violent man, knowing that you had to help him. And so you did. Now, once again, you were confined to the bleak walls within the citadel known as Las Noches, waiting to see if the man would awaken.
Gripping the edge of his bedsheets, you leaned over the unconscious man and watched his steady breathing. A small, tentative hand reached out to brush a piece of hair away from his forehead. You paused, waiting for a reaction. Nothing. With a sigh you settled back into the chair in which you sat, creaking beneath your shift in weight, crossing your legs in an attempt to make yourself more comfortable. “Please,” you mumbled, unsure of whether you were talking more to yourself or the man which lay in front of you. “Wake up already.” Pause. Nothing. You sighed again. Just as you began to stand from your chair to find something within the walls of your captivity to free your mind from worry, even for just a moment, before inevitably returning to sit and wait by Grimmjow’s side once again, a hand jolted out and grabbed you by the wrist. The suddenness caused you to jump, the grip on your wrist weak in strength, calluses rubbing against the softness of your own skin.
Grimmjow groaned, his hand falling from your wrist. You choked out a gasp and suppressed the urge to shake him by his shoulders and berate him with questions. Instead, you opted for a simple, “How are you feeling?”
Grimmjow grunted as he tried to sit up, with you quickly attempting to help him, much to the man’s irritation. Unfortunately he was still too weak to pull away from you. “Like shit,” his voice cracked, dry and scratchy from his long sleep. It had been three days since his battle with Ichigo. Three days since his loss. The thought made him ball his hands into fists and grimace at the bed sheets. “I’m going to kill that bastard.” You grabbed the glass of water sitting on a nearby table and handed it to the clearly quenched male, Grimmjow snatching the glass from your hand contentiously and chugging the water, droplets dripping down his chin. Not that he cared. You almost snorted, but refrained, knowing that would probably only further upset him.
You waited for a moment for Grimmjow to get his fill of water before tentatively saying, “I’m glad you’re okay. I thought you were dead when I first saw you.” Shifting slightly in your seat, somewhat embarrassed by yourself, you avoided the side-eye contact that Grimmjow was sending your way. Why did a Shinigami care if an Arrancar lived or died? You weren’t so sure of that answer yourself, but over the couple of weeks that you had been imprisoned in Las Noches you had found yourself intrigued by the bluenette, and you figured he must have felt somewhat the same as he hadn’t killed you—or tried to—yet. In fact, he had even saved your ass once from an enraged Yammy, something that he had no obligation to do. You weren’t sure if he had done it for you or if he had just wanted to pick a fight with the tenth Espada, but nonetheless you felt like you owed him for that. Fidgeting with your fingers in your lap, still avoiding those cerulean eyes boring straight through you, you stood from your chair and sighed. “Well then, now that you’re awake-“
“Don’t expect me to thank you,” he snapped, looking away to glower at the wall. You knew better than to think that he was mad at you in regards to his gruff behavior, rather that he was still bitter over his loss. Knowing better than to push it any further, you flashed him a small smile, one that he didn’t return.
“Well, now we’re even then, alright?” Turning to make your leave, you gave a little wave over your shoulder. “You should rest now. I’ll be around.”
Grimmjow huffed. Weird ass Shinigami. He wouldn’t admit it, but maybe she wasn’t too bad. Maybe.
๑๑๑
“Don’t push yourself too hard,” you warned, knowing it wouldn’t make a difference to the Arrancar. Grimmjow stretched and rolled his shoulders, muscles stiff and bones cracking after spending the last several days confined to a bed, finally standing on his own two feet for the first time since his defeat. If it hadn’t been for the nagging Shinigami he would’ve been out of there way sooner. “Shut it,” he snapped, although it didn’t phase you in the slightest by now, far too used to his attitude at this point. “Don’t treat me like I’m some wounded kitten.” You could have made a retort at that comment, being that he very much was like wounded kitten, but you figured that might end in your death, surely.
“Just trying to help.” You sighed. He truly wasn’t lying when he said not to expect a thank you.
“I don’t need your help. I’m going to kill that damn Nnoitra, then Ichigo next.”
Your eyebrows raised, “Huh? Nnoitra is dead, Grimmjow.” He whipped around at your revelation, his expression a mixture of shock and anger. “He was defeated by a Shinigami captain.” An eerie silence rang out throughout all of Hueco Mundo, a silence that indicated a halt in battle. That is, for the time being, at least. The silence scratched at Grimmjow, a strange feeling for sure. The lack of fighting only indicated a moment of rest before the real war began. It was only a matter of time. Grimmjow itched to be back out there, to fight the substitute Shinigami named Kurosaki Ichigo. Soon, he promised himself. Soon.
A frown etched itself onto your features. It wasn’t hard to tell that Grimmjow was thirsting to fight this war, however you knew if he fought so soon after his near death that he would surely die this time. “Maybe...” you teetered, shifting your weight onto your other leg and peeking at Grimmjow to gauge his reaction. “You should sit this battle out. If you fight so soon, you’ll surely die.” A low growl echoed throughout the room, bouncing off the blank walls and reverberating through your body. He sounded like a beast. Although, that’s what an Arrancar was, right? Somehow you began to have your doubts. Could a Shinigami really, in good faith, help out an Arrancar? The enemy? You were sure if Soul Society ever found out what you had done that you would be locked away in the Repentance Cell for your crimes. For some reason, the thought didn’t bother you, though, at least not enough. A glare bore through your skull, a thoughtful glare. You could tell that he knew you were right. Seeing as he hadn’t killed you for your comment, you ventured further, “I can help you. At least until this battle with Aizen is over.“
Grimmjow seemed to seriously be considering the suggestion, or at least not outright refusing. He knew that if he died carelessly while not at his full strength yet, he would never have the chance to defeat Kurosaki. And anyway, maybe it wouldn’t be too bad to have the cute Shinigami in front of him hang around for a little while longer. Not that he would be admitting to that. Yet. “Tch.” He gave the back of his neck a scratch, looking away from the eager eyes watching him for an answer. Grimmjow was stubborn, though. “I don’t need anybody’s damn help.”
You frowned. “Sure looked like you needed my help when you were dying in the sands of Hueco Mundo.” Now you were getting a little brave, but hey, he hadn’t killed you yet. There must have been a reason for that. Grimmjow looked as if he was about to retort back but instead clamped his mouth shut, jaw tight and eyebrows knitted. You got him with that one. “Sounds to me like you’re just looking for excuses to hang around me a little longer,” he tantalized with a smirk, the small blush dusting your cheeks not going unrecognized by the man before you.
“Maybe I am.”
Well, that caught Grimmjow off guard. The semi-surprised look on his face made you snicker. Weird ass Shinigami, for sure. “Do whatever the hell you want,” he replied, cocking his head to the side, eyes regarding you like a wild animal observing his prey. He stuffed his fists into the pockets of his uniform, that signature, cocky grin returning once again. “If you wanna follow me, I’m not gonna stop you. Just don’t get in my way.” The Arrancar made long strides past you and through the bedroom doorway, making his way down the hallways of Las Noches. He was leaving. You watched his retreating figure for a moment before jogging to catch up with him.
“Well, where are we going?”
He glanced back at you, his expression one of boredom, but you could see the glint of titillation in his eyes. The ‘we’ didn’t go unnoticed. “Anywhere but here.” So it was as you thought, he wasn’t that loyal to Aizen. You had to walk at a brisk pace to keep up with Grimmjow’s long legs. Did you really want to turn your back on your Shinigami allies to help this man out? Even if you wanted to, should you? Your steps faltered before you stopped completely, watching Grimmjow continue to walk away, not even giving the slightest look back at you. If you wanted to follow him, good for you, if not, he wasn’t going to be bothered by it. As his figure continued to grow farther away, you wondered, ‘Is this really what I want?’ Your memories of Soul Society and your friends there floated through your mind. Memories of food and laughter and battle. Memories of home. A deep-gutted feeling of heaviness anchored itself to the bottom of your stomach. The steady beat of your heart thrummed in your ears. Was it worth it, leaving everything and everyone you’ve always known behind? For an Arrancar? Grimmjow finally gave a harsh sigh and stopped, turning around and giving you a rather impatient look. Of course he didn’t care if you were coming or not, so why was he waiting for you? “You coming or not?”
“Aw hell,” you mumbled, heart skipping a beat, maybe two. Yeah, you really wanted to follow that stubborn man, even if he ended up leading you to hell and back, you really did want to follow him. The heaviness and uncertainty deep in your gut evaporated in seconds with just one look from those beautiful, blue eyes. With a huff of resignation, you trotted to catch back up to the smug man, rolling your eyes at the cockiness emanating from him as he practically puffed his chest out. “Of course I am. Someone needs to keep you out of trouble.”
Maybe he wouldn’t mind having you by his side, Grimmjow thought. Maybe.
#bleach scenarios#bleach imagines#scenarios#imagines#anime#manga#headcannons#grimmjow#grimmjow jaegerjaquez#jaegerjaquez#shinigami#bleach#anime imagines#anime scenarios#bleach anime#bleach manga#bleach headcannons#anime headcannons#headcanon#headcanons#anime headcanons#bleach headcanons#x reader#reader insert#drabble#bleach drabble#anime drabble#writing#short story#romance
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Weighted
A/N @zbops for you bb as per your request. I hope that this lives up to at least half of your expectations. Thank you so much for supporting me and for encouraging me. Enjoy it and may it help you just a bit more. I send my love XOXO Kitten 💋
It was not unlike you to occasionally stay up late into the night. Late enough to see the moon rise high in the inky black sky watching the constellations move by at a lazy pace.
But to lie awake long enough to greet the sun was abnormal.
At least it was supposed to be abnormal now. Before it was your normal to lose sleep as fat droplets slid from unblinking eyes. Thoughts consuming you with nothing and everything at once.
You thought yourself better.
Not cured, not immune, but well.
Fine and level headed for once.
Yet here you lie again unable to will your exhausted body to sleep as you replay failures from pasted years.
Like an old film one must study to improve but every time it is rewatched another haunting flaw jumps out.
And there is nothing you can do to right your wrong.
Frustrated tears well in your eyes now as you watch the clock for the second week in a row burn an obnoxious 3 am into your retina.
Furious as you thought you had put this problem in its place. That you had long ago learned how to make your demon small and to lock it away.
As with everything in life it adapted, slipping through the bars of its cage only to find itself looming over you once more. Delighting in your anguish as it exploits the coping mechanism you developed.
Turning it on its head to haunt you, to hurt you. To put you in your place as you thought you did it.
Although it knows this will be enough to pain you, it wants to do more.
Truly a petty being as it steals your voice, worming into your head just to whisper.
"Did you really think a few extra hours of training a day would make a difference? That you would suddenly be sought after as a pro hero? You could barely get an apprenticeship and look at how you're failing at that!"*
This dredges up your failure from last week, your first offical mission as apprentice.
What was supposed to be a normal patrol quickly unraveled into a full on street brawl.
You aided your hero holding down the perpetrators bodies with your quirk, straining to keep them in place.
There were tenty or so overpowered drug enhanced strength quirks fighting the pull you placed on them.
Your arm pangs now, reminding you of how it threatened to snap beneath the own weight of your quirk.
"Useless." Its laugh echoes in your ear.
Your temper flares, fist smashing the small black box that mocks you with the time before you rise. Dressing into your training clothes, sliding on your weighted vest as your bruises groan against it. You push your already consistent 1.5 times Earth's gravity pull to a consistent 2.5 for now.
Hands grab for your phone and headphones before fumbling to find your key in your amassed returning symptoms. Throwing piles of clothes, books, and homework onto other piles of long neglected items.
Irritation mixed with a twinge of panic sets in as you look for your FOB that accesses not only the gym you are so desperate to use but also it accesses your dorm building as your dorm room key rests on a chain around your neck. Your memory works overtime as you wonder where it could have been placed.
Was it it Kirishima's room?
Or Bakugou's?
Who's room did the three of you spend the night in last?
You cannot remember, time all runs together much like a watercolor painting caught in the rain.
Colors bleed and the world dips into sun bleached greys as you think of the two of them.
Had you even texted either of them good night?
When was the last time you told them you loved them?
You pick up your phone, bloomed bruised hand winking back at you before the phone obliterates into metal and glass confetti at your feet.
"Fuck." You hiss having forgotten that you had the gravitational pull around your hands as well. Damning yourself for being so careless although you are still careless enough to walk over the shrapnel with bare feet.
It is then you find your key FOB lying in the middle of the chaotic room which you snatch greedily before locking your post nuclear bomb room away.
And with that the thoughts of ash blonde and ruby red hair.
You slink on guilty feet in the shadows of the hall, the moon your only witness as you make your way outside.
The air is cool agaisnt your heated skin, hinting that fall is almost over. That winter will be sure to rear its ugly head and harshly at that.
As if to prove a point an icy wind cuts through your skin deep into your bones, you sigh out upping the force on your body.
The gym is a short walk from the dorm, the night caressing you with soft fingers as it guides you to the thick metal door.
A worried gulp echoes back at you as your hand hovers just before the panel. FOB just out of range to be scanned.
Last time a student was on rest probation their key could only work if Sensei scanned theirs as well.
With gritted teeth you bring the key to kiss smooth plastic. For a moment you're sure it will flash red but when it beeps with a flash of glorious green you cannot help the small smile that spreads across your lips.
They must have forgotten to add those restrictions to yours, that or they didn't think you would disobey your physical therapist and other Sensei.
It doesn't take long before you're sweating.
And the more you swing the harder you make the gravitational pull on your body. The floor groans from the pressure as you push the pull towards you beyond limits for a recovering body, 3.5 times Earth's normal pull. Sweat slides down a bruised nape and drips into now stinging eyes.
You do little to alleviate the pain or sweat that is trying so hard to blind you.
Another swing of your weighted fists has your bones creaking, muscles burning while you have half a mind to add more sand to your wrist and ankle bands.
Hell maybe even more to your vest although it presses against your sternum harshly with each step, threatening to snap a rib. You begin to lose the concentration on the areas you want to afflict as the incresed gravitational begins to spread out. The floor groans harder depsite being designed to withstand many powerful quirks.
A hairline fraction fissures through the smooth wood, attempting to snake up the cinderblock wall.
"None of this is going to change anything. You will still be..."
A heated punch hits the dummy hard, causing it to skid but you advance without letting up, snarling.
"Don't fucking say it."
Another hit to the dummy and you've got it cornered agaisnt the wall but still the voice goes on, a smile dancing along its tone as it purrs.
*"Worthless"*
You begin to jab agaisnt the dummy with enough momentum and force that the padding begins to fall away from its "face" revealing unforgiving metal beneath.
Metal that you pound into anyway.
Metal that warps for a moment from being too close to your pull, still your barrage of fists and feet cease to let up.
You follow up a punch with a round house kick increasing the force on your body subconsciously. As you rotate your vest slams heavily into your ribs and an audible crack echoes around the room.
"Fuck!" You huff slamming your foot against the cool surface, the dummy implodes as you land on your feet.
In that moment the room pops from the pressure as you let up the force. The floor creaks, almost breathing as it returns to normal although now heavily warped. Suddenly you feel as light as a feather. As if at any moment you could float up to the ceiling like a lazy balloon only to get tangled in the harsh overhead lights.
Crimson splatters the floor from your knuckles and spit, hand feathering over your ribs. Sliding beneath dampened fabric, smoothing over already bruised skin. You're sure it will only worsen now that you count, one, two.
Three fucking cracked ribs. Your breaths come out in heavy puffs all echoing back to you as you right your self, eyes seeking out another dummy, ignoring the pain begging you to stop.
But feeling pain was better than feeling that weighted void in your chest.
As if you were a super nova that imploded, pulling everything around you into the darkened abyss.
Turning it all into hollowed nothingness.
The first sparring dummy you spy seems to look at you funny, you rear your fist but before it can make contact a growl cuts out.
"You've done enough little one."
His voice dips low, borderline pissed. It is a warning and one you must obey as the air permeates with salted caramel.
But you're in no mood to deal with Katsuki, no mood to be submissive, obedient or anything relative to feeling at all.
Regardless if it's clearly for your own good.
All you wanted, needed, was for everything to fade.
And maybe to black.
But it doesn't instead he advances hand finding your wrist with a sharp grip, that softens only to assess. Turning your wrist this way and that with heated calculating eyes, before he rips off your weighted vest with a growl. Lifting your shirt to reveal blush black painted beneath your smooth skin. His finger prods your ribs and when he counts them in his head he snarls. You watch his muscles twitch as he holds himself. Muscles that had grown twice their size since first year and yet you were left unchanging.
"Training is futile, you'll always be puny."
You rip your wrist free, teeth bared at an already snarling Bakugou.
"Not. Now." You misread his actions beneath the initial rage. He is concerned but all you see is punishment in his eyes
Disappointment.
You look over Katsuki's sculpted shoulder to see Kirishima waiting at the door with glistening ruby eyes that seem to be torn.
Who does he support? How can he defuse this?
"You're fucking hurt." The blonde bites out venom.
"I'm fucking fine. Drop it!" You shove past him slamming your shoulder into his. He wants so badly to reach for you. To yank you back to him so you can look him in his angry scarlet eyes.
"Oh so the blood on the floor means you're fine? Your cracked ribs and bruised to fuck all body means you're fine?!" His temper shows with deadly pops that dance along his skin.
You weight him and Kirishima down gently as you leave, hoping it slows them down long enough for you to return to the safety of your dorm room.
Katuski snarls as he walks with leaded feet, as if walking through mud under the influence of a muscle relaxer. But he and Kirishima have trained with you plenty of times, not to mention they are exposed to your increased pull.
"Maybe we should give them sometime? They are upset, babe." Kirishima offers only to be met with a glowering glare.
"I've tried listening to you, I've tried it your way and look what has happened." A snarl so low that Kirishima feels his gut twist.
"But..."
"But what?" He turns on his lover quickly, "We gave them two weeks of no contact. This is clearly a symptom we need to bisect before they kill themselves over some stupid fucking training."
Kirishima can do nothing but follow as Bakugou stalks you up the steps that you stomp.
You're seething, steam rising from your skin with each heavy breath as your vision blurs between rational thought and white hot rage.
Rage that is always so easy to give into. Especially when your only other option is immobilzing sadness. Before you know it Bakugou is barking at you from the jamb of the door while your ruby haired boyfriend presses gently against his back.
Trying to remind him that his own irate reaction could further the situation, Bakugou feels it but it is lost as you strip to change. You rip the velcro from your wrists, dropping the fifty pounds weights with a harsh thud. The floor rattles the items on your desk and even the window before you move onto the hundred pound weights on your ankles.
Grumbling as you think of your two hundred and fifty pound vest abandoned in the gym. How hard had Bakugou torn it from your strong yet sleek frame?
Would you have to take it to the support class?
You strip your shirt and then your pants as two sets of red eyes gauge different reactions.
Rubies widen, shining with the threat of tears. While blood scarlet narrow with burning, hot, wrath.
Katsuki knew you were bruised, he knew you had those broken ribs and he knew you were set out of rehabilitation probation due to injuries but he did not know the extent of them.
And how the fuck could he? What with you locking yourself away in your room, refusing to text them, refusing to eat the meals cooked and left for you.
Refusing help as you promised you would not do.
Katsuki's warning signs of blowing do not go unnoticed, a strong hand wraps around his hip. Squeezing, hoping to convey the softness the ash blonde so desperately needs.
It works, at least as far as his quirk goes. Bakugou Katsuki could erupt in more than one way.
"What. The. FUCK?!" He goes to take a step in but Kirishima keeps his grip tight. But that does not stop the tongue lashing you get. Bakugou takes a large slow breath, as you once taught him and snorts it out like a dragon.
"You promised you would stop doing this..." His voice, once soothing now grating your last nerve, "You fucking promised, damn it."
Kirishima gives another small squeeze before piping up.
"We are just worried about you, love. Very worried." His voice cracks at the end, causing Katsuki to look over his shoulder.
The tears well faster over dancing garnets.
From the weight of the guilt something in you finally snaps. The room blurs as you subconsciously pull the force to you, items slowly crushing beneath the weight as you lunge for the first thing you can wrap burning hands on.
Your desk chair to which your hurl while screaming
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
Your hot headed boyfriend catches the chair with ease, exploding it on impact.
With an angry enough blast that the paint on the ceiling and walls peel.
Oh if Bakugou wasn't pissed at you before he was now.
And not angry over the fact that you've thrown something at him.
But over the simple fact that you were hurting in deadly silence. So badly suffering that you cannot even rationally express yourself anymore.
And more over he is pissed he has let it get this far.
The glass of your window shatters behind you, both from your exertion and his explosion pulling you into the here and now.
The room spirals as quickly as you do, suddenly forgetting how to breath. Gasping as a fish does out of water before you fall to your knees. The two men rush to you, fearing you'll lose yourself in your panic. Two sets of strong arms wrap around you both crushing you between them.
"You're okay." Kirishima soothes, "You're okay. Just breathe."
Nails bite into toned flesh though you are unsure which unfortunate mail is receiving the half blood moons as tears prick your eyes. Falling towards the Earth as much as you wish they wouldn't. Your stomach lurches, your side screams but it does not stop the racks of sobs that tremor through your body.
You come undone in the worst way before the very two men you wanted, needed to be strong in front of. There was already a detrimental gap between your development and theirs. In every fucking aspect you could think of.
Muscle mass.
Durability.
Capability.
The list could go on.
After some time Bakugou coos to you.
"Now tell me what's wrong."
Kirishima places his head between your shoulder blades, reaching out for Bakugou's hand.
"I...I'm behind. I... I cannot even train right." Tears slip over ruddy cheeks that Katuski gently wipes away.
"Behind how?" Kirishima prompts, letting lazy circles trace your stomach.
"On my first mission I get put on recovery suspension, I worked so so so *hard* to even get that hero to agree to take me on and yet I fucked it all up!" Another frustrated sob that has you hiccuping for a moment. You watch Bakugou's face turn to stone as he tries to calm himself.
"I almost died on one of my first big missions. I sat out for a long time, this was a little bit before you transferred." Kirishima admits, "Resting and PT made me stronger."
"Hell I was behind at one point too. I couldn't even fucking pass the provisional!" Katsuki growls at the thought.
"Neither could Todoroki-kun." Kirishima adds.
"But you three...you three are strong. I'm so....weak." With that Bakugou snaps.
"You think I can run with a two hundred fifty pound weight on my chest and keep pace with Iida's jog? Do you think Kirishima could hold down twenty fucking tweaked out villians at once?" His voice is gruff but his hands are soft as he lifts your chin, purposefully making you hold his gaze as he speaks, "Answer me, little one."
"N...no." You sob, Kirishima's strong arm squeezes tigher around your middle, careful to avoid your ribs, as he peppers kisses over your blackened shoulders.
"Just because your body does not reflect mine or Eijiro's does not mean you are weak. You are strong Y/N. Real fucking strong." He kisses you softly, capturing your lips tenderly as Kirishima kisses along your throat.
"Share this weight with us." Bakugou breathes out after pulling away.
"Its not weak to cry or ask for help baby." Kirishima whispers in your ear, your eyes look over your sturdy shoulder before they fall to their hands intertwined. You notice Bakugou's knuckles turning white. Had you really made them worry this much?
"Isn't that right Suki?" Eji asks, resting his chin in your shoulder. Katsuki looks at him for a long time, this man and you have helped him more than he would ever like to admit. But if this is what brought that natural magnetism about you that attracted him in the first place he'd say it
Fuck, if it brought that blinding smile of yours back to your kissable lips he'd scream if from the fucking roof.
"Yes." He lets out a shaky sigh, "Now please, please let us help you little one."
Searching his eyes you wonder if there will ever be a time when you will stop feeling this way.
When you will stop feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders over little to nothing at all.
When you will stop feeling that black hole that crawled into your chest weighing you down and making you weightless all at once.
When you will stop the haunting feeling of sadness that lingers on the fringes of your every thought, tainting every memory and moment with its shimmering darkness.
You wonder if this cancer, if this demon that has since crawled into your chest and devoured your heart whole will ever die.
Scarlet eyes soften as they rove over your lovely features, strong arms support you from behind and you know what the answer is.
The answer is no.
It will never die, never cease to exist, never leave you alone. It will stay with you until you lie motionless forever and even then it will crawl into your casket cradling your cooling skin.
But you will not stop fighting.
Cannot stop fighting because of the small sliver of a feeling you have now.
The love that resiliently blooms despite the pressure, despite the darkness, despite it being trampled over and fucking over.
You know that these two men are not your worth nor or they your reason for being and even if, Kamisama forbid, you three broke up, you would fight on.
Tooth and nail keeping this demon under the ball of your steel toed boot.
Because in the end, after it is all said in done you will do anything to feel this.
This hope and love that radiates from within. You sigh out a shaky sigh, releasing the tension of your shoulders and the constant pressure you've kept on yourself since that mission, your shoulders sag from relief.
"Thank you, thank you for baring this with me." You squeeze their arms respectively as you speak to them both at once, "I love you."
They speak in unison their two tones melding together and soothing over your skin like an ointment.
"I love you too."
#bakugou x reader#baakugo x reader#gender nuetral reader#katsuki x kirishima#kirishima x reader#bnha x reader#bnha kacchan#bnha fanfiction#kirishima x bakugo x reader#kirishima ejirou#katuski bakugou#bakugou katsuki#bakugou#katsuki bakugou#bnha bakugou#bakugou imagine#kirishima#kirishima imagine
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AESTHETIC TAG GAME
thanks to @diamozi for tagging me! i love these kind of games hehe~
[SOFT.] baby pink | iridescent | glitter is always a good option | no bra | minimalistic tattoos | cherry patterns | sweet scented perfumes | wearing generous amounts of blush | doodling hearts | getting excited to pet an animal | fun nails | rewatching old barbie movies (movies from my childhood in general) | hair sticking to glossed lips | heart shaped sunglasses | taking pictures of the sunset or sunrise | stuffed animals | protecting nature | stickers everywhere (one day I'll post a pic of my laptop and then you'll see xD) | teen movies | the light rain that falls from a clear sky at the beginning of the night |
[DARK ACADEMIA.] neutral tones | masculine outfits | studying languages | worn down copy of books | grey skies | turtleneck sweaters | loose fitting pants | hair tied with a silk ribbon | trying to remember a cool difficult word you read somewhere to use in a convo | thick belts | minimal makeup | windows fogged by rain | vintage jewelry | blouses with cuffed sleeves | reading a murder mystery and trying to solve it | oxford style shoes | sweater vests | subtitled old movies in a language you don’t speak | leaves crackling as you walk | annotating books to express your emotions about the story
[EDGY.] closet full of dark clothes | fishnet tights | makeup sweating off | neon signs | searching for unknown songs | chokers | band tees | doodling on old converses (I would but I have black ones so I have to wait for them too bleach out a little more or buy a white marker xD) | finding smoking aesthetically pleasing but not doing it | weird humor | accidentally very dramatic | dim lights | layered outfits | chain belts | chipped nail polish | messy hair | low quality pics | piercings | combat boots | scribbling on desks
[70s.] colorful wardrobe | doodling flowers | wearing short shorts | using a bikini top or bra as a normal top | listening to ABBA | flowers in your hair | DIYing everything | jamming to songs alone in your room | drunkenly telling your friends you love them | patterned bandanas | mid heeled shoes | messy braids | flared sleeves | walking barefoot on grass or sand | bold sunglasses | the good kind of tired you get after doing something you enjoy for hours | feeding stray animals | fun patterned socks | room decorated with succulents and other plants | likes to go roller skating or skateboarding (oh I haven't been roller skating in ages ahhh I have to do this again)
[PREPPY CASUAL.] collared clothes | drinking juice out of a champagne glass | getting excited to see the met gala looks | thick headbands | small pastel cardigans | making your friends take your ootd pics | plaid mini skirts | tweed two pieces | watching reality tv to pass time | frilly tops | watching old hollywood movies | academically driven | long manicured nails | new year’s eve fireworks | colourful tights | layered golden jewelry | yearns for luxury brand items | decorating your room with fairylights | cursive and neat handwriting | lace details
I tag @byuns-coco @heartcravings @guardians-of-exo @yeolkisses if you guys want to! 😊
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michelle! i just rewatched yoi. can we please talk about the ending of episode 9. i mean the show in general is just soo cute. but this episode kills me, even more than the whole ring thing does. give me your opinion please :)
DUDE. DUDE.
it’s been so long since I’ve done a rewatch, I need to find time to do that lol.
but like yes. episode 9. it’s so hard for me to watch that episode because the entire thing is so painful??? it hurts???? like you watch episode 8 and there’s Yuuri, killing it with Eros, Victor is so proud, and then Yuuri has Victor leave because he’s not letting what happened to him happen to Victor, Victor is going to be there for Makkachin because Yuuri wasn’t there for Vicchan, and then he’s alone and he can’t concentrate and it FUCKING HURTS.
but it’s almost worth it for the last fucking two minutes.
I think about those two minutes a lot.
I got really emotional about it yesterday, actually, because my best friend turned on the YOI soundtrack while he was helping me bleach my hair and it mAKES ME SO EMOTIONAL DAMMIT.
like when Yuuri sees Makkachin. and then he sees Victor.
and then VICTOR SEES YUURI.
AND THEN THEY FUCKING. RUN. TO. EACH. OTHER.
down to that little impatient hopping that Yuuri does as he waits for the sliding door to open, the way he dives into Victor’s open arms.
and in retrospective, this moment is insanely heartbreaking because you find out that yes, Victor wants it to be a marriage proposal. that when he wishes for Yuuri to never retire, he fucking means it. that he wants to be with this man for the rest of their lives, full fucking stop.
but that when Yuuri says he wants to retire, it’s an expiration date to this. to them. it’s a ticking clock. it’s an upturned hourglass that’s nearly out of sand.
and it makes me so curious like. when I watched this scene for the first time, I just remember Victor saying, “I wish you’d never retire,” and I just. VICTOR WANTS TO BE WITH YUURI FOREVER OKAY. but it makes me curious like how other people felt watching this, like what they took from it. if they saw the sweet, soft moment that I did (that Victor did). or if it was something more bittersweet (like it was for Yuuri).
AND ON TOP OF THAT. ON TOP OF THAT. THE PHYSICALITY IN THIS SCENE. THEM MOVING IN AND OUT OF EACH OTHER’S SPACE??? THE HUGS. THE FUCKING HUGS. AND. AND. AND.
WHY DO WE NOT TALK ABOUT THE WAY THAT VICTOR KISSES YUURI’S KNUCKLES IN THIS SCENE???? LIKE I’M IN TEARS THINKING ABOUT IT. LIKE IT IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS???? THE FUCKING KNUCKLE KISS AND YUURI’S LITTLE HEAD TILT AND BLUSH AFTER ALL LIKE I’M????
THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH.
I can’t. I don’t. h e lp.
what are we talking about, again? my opinion? um.
it’s hard. episode 10 is so pivotal to the series imo. it’s the only episode we get fully from Victor’s POV, and we finally see where he’s coming from. where he’s been coming from the whole time. the reveal about the banquet? the pictures and flashback at the end? like, yes, okay, the ring scene is beautiful and I cried and whenever I see the imagery of them sliding rings onto each other’s fingers I need to lay down for a little bit okay maybe I have a thing for hands based on my feelings about the knuckle kiss idk
I just. I think episode 10 is still a little more shattering for me. I remember the first time I watched it, my friends who had both seen the show were like “you have to wait. you have to watch it with us. we have to be there” and I was like “uuuuh kay???” and I understand, because that moment literally changes how you perceive Yuuri and Victor’s relationship ENTIRELY. it is the what the fuck moment. the one that makes you fall off the couch, that makes you literally pause the episode to shRIEK, that makes you go, “HOLY SHIT I NEED TO WATCH THIS SHOW AT LEAST TWO MORE TIMES BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS COLORED DIFFERENTLY NOW”
so, yes, as a virgin YOI fan, episode 10 still probably killed me the most. that’s not to say I don’t go and watch the airport reunion on a regular basis because I just did and I made this hiccuping sobbing noise when they embraced okay it’s very m o v i n g.
but it’s also hard for to judge now that I am so many months deep in the YOI fandom and in Victuuri, because every moment between them in the series kills me now. every moment has me clutching my heart as I’m facedown in the couch crying. because they love each other SO MUCH, and I love them so much.
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Pack mentality (3)
Masterlist
WARNING: Mentions of past abuse and rape.
*This chapter dives more into the characters history because obviously she can’t be with Scott and Stiles all the time. There will be some chapters where she has to do her own thing.
“So you killed her?” Stiles said reacting to the crazy violent dream Scott was telling us about.
“I don’t know, I just woke up. I was sweating like crazy and I couldn’t breath. I’ve never had a dream where I woke up like that before.” Scott told us clearly disturbed.
“Really? I have. Usually ends a little differently though.” Stiles joked, I gave him a grossed out look as walked through the hallways.
“A) I’ve never had a dream that felt that real, and B) never give me that much detail about you in bed again.” Scott told Stiles.
“Seriously dude, I feel like I need to bleach my brain.” I grumbled bumping him with my shoulder.
“Noted.” Stiles said holding up his hands in apology.
I walked along beside my friends as Scott grumbled about his date with Allison tomorrow and Stiles smacking him when he said something idiotic.
“It just felt so real, like it actually happened.” Scott explained his concern as we walked outside. The sight that greeted us stopped us dead in our tracks.
“I think it did.” Stiles told Scott as we looked at the gruesome scene before us.
-
We raced through the halls until we found Allison, once I knew she was okay I ditched the drama of the day for the library. I had a crap load of work to catch up on thanks to the stupid werewolf problems I suddenly had to deal with everyday.
-
“You told him you could bowl? The last time you bowled was at Stiles eighth birthday party and you didn’t hit a single pin.” I chuckled at Scott.
“You’re a terrible bowler.” Stiles informed him.
“I know.” Scott moaned, I started laughing harder.
“Damn, this sounds like it was the lunch to be at. Sorry I missed it.” I said through my laughter. I watched as their conversation spiraled out of control, before Scott raced off to work.
“Hey, do you think I’m attractive to gay guys?” Stiles asked after Scott ignored his question.
“Wrong person to ask about that.” I told him as we headed to the Jeep.
“What do you want to do after homework tonight?” Stiles asked moving past the gay thing.
“Whatever you want.” I told him picking at my nails.
“Wait isn’t today your mom's birthday? Don’t you want to do something with her tonight?” Stiles asked me. I froze.
“We actually don’t have plans until midnight, she prefers the house to herself until then.” I told him, it wasn’t technically a lie.
“Okay.” He shrugged sensing my need for him to drop it. We spent the rest of the afternoon rewatching Star Wars and eating cold pizza from the fridge. I could almost ignore the feeling of dread building in the pit of my stomach.
I left Stiles house at 11:51. I sat on my porch swing watching my clock until it was finally midnight before going inside. I made my way upstairs dropping my stuff off in my room before going to the medicine cabinet. I filled my arms with gauze and antibacterial ointment. I walked into my mother's room placing the medical supplies on her nightstand before picking out a night gown. I rolled up my sleeves as I walked into her bathroom, the same scene I saw every year greeted me. My mom was passed out fully clothed in the bathtub soaking wet. Their was shards of a broken wine bottle littering the floor from where she dropped it when she passed out. I set to work.
I grabbed the dustpan from underneath her sink and cleaned up the broken bottle. When the floor was safe I pulled my mother out of the bath tub and into my arms. I took her to her bed where I changed her from her soaking wet clothes to her clean nightgown. It took me less than a minute, I’d had plenty of practice growing up. This had been a birthday ritual since even before my father left. Although back then I wasn’t big enough to get my mother to bed so I would just bandage her up, drain the water from the tub, and cover her in towels.
As soon as I had her body under the blankets I set to work on her arms. They were rubbed raw from all her scrubbing. I bandaged them expertly having taken CPR class twelve times just for these days. Then I worked on bandaging her neck that had patches of bleeding skin because she’d scrubbed them so hard. I cleaned up my supplies and the rest of her bathroom before filling a glass with water and placing it along with two aspirins by her bed.
I took and extra long shower that night. I didn’t rub my skin raw like she did but I thought about it. I thought about why she did it. Even after all these years I could still feel his hands on my skin too, and I had never had it as bad as her. Until two years ago, I didn’t understand why she was always the worst on her birthday. That was until one of her four therapists left some notes behind after one of their sessions. Like the little snoop I am I read them. I had known my whole life that my father was an abusive asshole. I had also known my mother always made sure to take the worst of it. She wanted to tire him out before he could get to me. What I didn’t know was that every year on her birthday, he would force himself on her for her “present” of birthday sex, and she would try to scrub herself clean afterwards until she bleed. When he was done with her he would leave for a bar and I would take care of her.
I cried when I read that file two years ago. I hadn’t cried since.
-
I was up extra early the next morning. I made myself some cereal before fixing my mom a hot breakfast of waffles, coffee and orange slices. I brought it up to her room, leaving it on the night stand next to the water and aspirin. I left the house as quickly as I could. Only I didn’t head to school, I took my mom's car knowing she wouldn’t be leaving her bed at all today, not that she left the house much at all anyway and I drove to the beach. I spent the whole day there sitting in the sand and watching the waves crash onto the beach. It brought me peace to know that powerful things weren’t just weapons. They could be strong and peaceful, terrifying and beautiful, deadly and life giving. It reminded me that I could be fierce without becoming him. Without becoming my father... Maybe instead I could become the sea.
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i have a lot of questions for the fic writer meme :D!! 9, 12, 18, 19, 21, 23, 45, 48, and 50! sorry that's a lot!
For future reference, I am mostly on mobile so if we could limit questions to 2 or 3 per ask, that would help me out a lot, thank you..9. What are the best things about your current fandom?I guess Fairy Tail is still my current fandom, so... we have some absolutely amazing artists and writers, and it was the first time I've really jumped into a fandom. It has some of the nicest fellow writers I've ever met, and I've made a lot of friendships through it!.12. Who is your current OT3?Gotta go with Harutora x Natsume x Touji, from Tokyo Ravens. Since I just rewatched it and it awakened old feels for them....18. What ship have you written the most about?CoLu, I think. Both in number of stories and cumulative word count, I believe. (But RoLu is probably pretty close in word count - BTG is a monster fic, after all.).19. Is there a ship which you wish you could get behind, but you just don't feel them?Subaru x Emilia from Re: Zero. I don't mind them, and I have nothing against it going canon, but I prefer the development on a couple other pairings..21. What was the first fanfic you ever wrote?It was never titled or posted anywhere, but a friend of mine and I started writing a Harry Potter fic in notebooks when we were... 9? I think? The first fic I ever published online was A Hollow's Kingdom, which was a Bleach fic..23. Name a fic you've written that you're especially fond of & explain why you like it.Just one???? Kidding.Um... I really, really love "Beyond The Gate." I'm sure y'all have heard me gush about it before, but... it's my baby. It's the first fic I tried to write after a 3 year long hiatus from writing. It's part of what built up my confidence in writing again, and it accidentally led to me shipping CoLu (which is hilarious given that it's a slow burn RoLu). Actually it's led to me shipping a number of things. Writing it let me look critically at the structure of the Eclipse arc, and I did my damnedest to fill in the plot holes of it. I also created so much lore and OC's for it... it was really good practice for world building. It was just great practice for a number of things, honestly. I really want to continue it, to show how the rest of the story goes, even if I'm having a lot of trouble concentrating on writing right now..45. If someone was to read one of your fanfics, which fic would you recommend to them and why?I always recommend BTG, hahaha. But another one I recommend is "Dark Sands." It's a completed, not short or long, and it's a good introduction to my writing style (though my style has changed a bit since) and... crackshipping tendencies (since it's a MinMax). I'm particularly proud of it. (Even if every time I reread it I get an itch to change things about it.).48. Do you care if people comment/reblog your writing? Why/why not?YES, I VERY MUCH CARE. It's because I don't have any other way of knowing if someone likes the fic or not. Likes don't really tell me anything (especially if someone added something rude to it), and they don't help me show my work to people outside my immediate sphere. Also, I thrive on encouragement, since I'm super easily disheartened. There's nothing quite like pouring your heart and soul into something, for people to enjoy, and then getting silence. It makes me feel like I'm forcing people to look at shit work..50. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction. Go!I really do hate the lack of reviews/comments/constructive criticism, but even more than that I super, super hate it when I put out an authors note that requests are closed, or to please stop demanding updates, only for said note to be completely and utterly ignored by some asshat.
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Why Does Everyone Remember Rock Lee Dropping His Weights?
In the Great Cunchyroll Naruto Rewatch, we have just reached Rock Lee versus Gaara, one of the most fondly remembered fights in the entire franchise. The weekly questions brought up an interesting point to consider: can you think of any other anime that has had a moment like Rock Lee dropping his training weights? After giving it some thought, I couldn’t come up with anything that quite captured how exciting and absurd the moment felt, which led me to wonder what makes it so special? Why does everyone remember when Rock Lee dropped his weights?
The easiest conclusion is that the answer is rooted in the characters’ backstories. Gaara is something of a mystery at this point in the show. He is from the Village Hidden in the Sand, seems to control sand subconsciously to defend himself, and has been shown to be both a ruthless killer and so frightening that even his teammates fear him. We don’t know much about him, but he appears to be a nearly insurmountable challenge that is better avoided than confronted head on.
Lee is almost the direct inverse, outgoing and optimistic in the extreme. He picks a fight with Sasuke just to see which is stronger, constantly trains with punishments for failing being more training. In short, never gives up, no matter how hopeless a situation may seem. He essentially has Naruto’s optimism but with combat skills beyond anything a Genin should be capable of.
That also sets up one of the main reasons why the fight is so exciting. Lee has been shown to be stronger than Sasuke, the top Genin of Naruto’s graduating class, but even he struggles to find a way around Gaara’s sand.
That leads to the iconic moment itself, Lee retreating for a moment, and his mentor Guy giving him the go ahead to take off his training weights.
This scene demonstrates a few things in quick succession. First, Lee was perfectly willing to continue fighting with the weights on, showing his conviction and how strongly he believes in the words of his teacher. At the same time, the entire room acts as an audience surrogate, with everyone wondering variations of how pointless dropping a little weight will be when Gaara’s defense is so impregnable. Then the weights drop, dust clouds climb tens of feet in the air, and both the audience and room of ninjas can’t help but marvel at how over the top those weights were.
If that were the only special aspect of the fight though, then it would be a funny moment, but not nearly as memorable as it has become. The following moments are what made the drop so fondly remembered for the rest of the franchise.
Before, Lee’s fighting ability was near the top of all Genin, able to defeat Sasuke but probably not Neji. Once he dropped his weights and speeds up, the audience sees that even in his previous encounters, he had been holding back a significant amount of power. His punches start going through the sand barrier and even managing to hit Gaara.
However, this opens even higher power scaling, since it turns out that Gaara had also been holding back, and has another layer of defense beyond the subconscious protection from his sand barrier.
This is a testament of why this fight is so well remembered. Both participants were heavy hitters going into the fight, and both revealed that they had been holding back the entire time, and so start showing off more new powers and abilities as the fight drags on and both need to bring out their full arsenal just to survive.
Lee can’t get through the sand barrier, so drops his weights. Now he can get through the barrier, and reveals that Gaara has sand armor, too. Lee then uses the Primary Lotus, his finishing move, to end the fight, and Gaara exploits a moment of weakness to make a sand clone take the attack. Lee is then weakened, allowing Gaara time to attack back. Once Lee recovers (surviving only because Gaara was toying with him), Guy reveals that the Primary Lotus unlocks the first of the Eight Inner Gates, and then Lee starts unlocking more, unleashing magnitudes more power than before.
To me though, one of the reasons Lee dropping his weights was so impactful was because of how it changed the rest of the show. After his fight, he is almost irreparably broken with shards of bone in his spinal cord. For the first time, one of the recurring characters is not only injured, but continues to be injured beyond the end of the arc. Treating him becomes one of the reasons to seek out Tsunade, who eventually becomes the Fifth Hokage and Sakura’s mentor while also having several other plot threads connected to her background.
Meanwhile, Gaara went on to start the next arc of the show and reveal that there are other Jinchuriki (people who carry demons, like Naruto) in the world, and would eventually become the Kazekage, the Sand Village’s equivalent of the Hokage.
Has any other show done this? Both participants in a 1-on-1 fight start as serious threats to the main cast, and are both then revealed to have been holding back significantly, thus increasing everyone else’s power scaling for the rest of the show, and even after the fight both participants continue to directly and indirectly impact the plot for multiple arcs to come.
Some of the more obvious comparisons are various moments in the Dragon Ball series. Both Goku and Piccolo wore weighted clothing for the start of their fight against Raditz, but Raditz didn’t really increase in power through the fight. Goku going Super Saiyan for the first time has the same kind of new power scaling, but Lee and Gaara’s powers come out of nowhere, which helps the surprise factor, while Super Saiyan had an entire arc building up to it.
Gohan's berserk mode, which eventually became the trigger for Super Saiyan 2, is probably the closest comparison, since it had both the surprise and personal power increase, and by introducing a new level of transformation changed the scaling for the rest of the cast, but it also had multiple arcs of buildup hinting at Gohan having some kind of latent power.
What about some other shows, then?
In My Hero Academia, Deku unlocks more power mid-fight against Bakugo, but that does not have the same narrative impact since getting stronger and learning to be a better hero were already two of the main points of the show.
How about something more directly comparable, like Ichigo unlocking Bankai in Bleach, one of the other shounen shows of the Big Three? It’s closer, since the new power scaling did change how the rest of the show played out, but like with Super Saiyan, Ichigo had an entire arc building up the power of a person’s bankai and we saw him explicitly training to unlock it.
After much thought: no, there's no show that has quite ever done the Rock Lee weight drop. And largely that’s because it wasn’t just a great fight (although that is also true). Rather, it started as a great fight where the experienced ninjas were as surprised as the audience at the power on display, but then became a catalyst for a new level of power scaling in the franchise and eventually led to both participants seriously impacting the show’s world for the rest of the franchise.
Are there any examples that I missed that are direct comparisons to Lee’s big moment? Are there any aspects of Lee dropping his weights that make it unique that I missed? Let me know in the comments below!
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Kevin Matyi is a freelance features writer for Crunchyroll. He's been watching anime for as long as he can remember, and his favorite shows tend to be shonen and other action series.
Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!
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*gasp*
That moment you know she’s tiny but hella fierce
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When Aizen says Ichigo’s name...just look at Grimmjow’s face! Just look at it!
I’m getting some serious Grimmichi vibes 👀
#sands rewatches bleach#grimmichi#bleach#bleach anime#grimmjow jaegerjaquez#kurosaki ichigo#ishida uryuu#sado yasotora
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Currently rewatching Bleach for the 5th time (I think) and this time in Japanese.
I got to say, it just hits different in the original voices.
How does this anime manage to make me feel all the feels and get goosebumps still?
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