#sandra oh has always been fantastic

[samprestonbigbadabruce]

Possible Cast Members for “Knives Out 3”?

Rian Johnson has done it again with Glass Onion, an excellent follow-up to the raucously enjoyable Knives Out. The consistency in the writing and the way both films award repeat viewings make them great comfort watches, and Daniel Craig seems to be having a wonderful time playing the over-the-top Southern drawling, eagle eyed dandy Benoit Blanc. 

The success of the series so far has been not just the clever writing, but the casting, as each film utilises an ensemble of tremendous character actors who enjoy being outlandish and ridiculous. Unsurprisingly, Twitter quickly began asking who fans would love to see in the cast, and it prompted me to consider my own ideas. It won’t shock many to hear I quickly thought of many, but below are some of my ideas. The good thing is that Benoit Blanc has the potential to be the Columbo of feature films, appearing every few years in an ongoing franchise, so even if these don’t all appear in the third movie, there could always be the next one...

Brendan Fraser is currently in the midst of a career renaissance due to his performance in The Whale, where he has become a front runner for Best Actor prizes in his heartbreaking portrayal. But this kind hearted, beloved man first came to prominence with his self-deprecating manner in fan favourite cult classics such as George of the Jungle and one I particularly love, The Mummy. He’s shown his ability to balance comedy with pathos, so he’d be perfectly suited in this world.

Jon Hamm is man who looks like he is chiselled out of perfection, and yet surprised many with his comedic timing in 30 Rock and the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Hamm could work perfectly as the murder victim in a Benoit Blanc movie, his magnetism allowing him to be depicted positively before flashbacks reveal a darker edge, akin to his more dramatic roles.

Stephanie Hsu was the surprise break out from Everything Everywhere All At Once, demonstrating surprising pathos in her support role and impressively holding her own against Michelle Yeoh. A trope in the previous two movies of the series has been Blanc’s double act with a young female, firstly the Cuban-Spanish Ana De Armas, and then the non-binary African-American Janelle Monae, so it wouldn’t be surprising if they continue that method. Hsu could have a brilliant double act with Craig, so I think she’d be fantastic.

Hugh Jackman is handsome, can sing, is funny, an amazing dramatic actor, and reputedly one of the nicest human beings in Hollywood. Renowned for his classic portrayals of Wolverine, one of the few action heroes to challenge James Bond, I could see him portraying one of Benoit’s best friends, inviting both Blanc and Hugh Grant’s Phillip to a Broadway event (any excuse to see Jackman, Grant and Craig singing Broadway together).

Daniel Kaluuya is mostly known for his partnership with Jordan Peele, specifically in the excellent horror films Get Out and Nope, as well as his appearances in Steve McQueen’s Widows and his award winning performance in Judas and the Black Messiah. However, an often underrated element is his dry, deadpan line reading, epitomised by his performance in Nope especially. I could see Kaluuya in a similar role to LaKeith Stanfield from Knives Out as an exasperated detective working alongside Benoit Blanc.

Lupita Nyong’o may be better known for her dramatic roles in 12 Years A Slave, Jordan Peele’s Us, and even her role as Nakia in the Black Panther series, but it’s actually her role in the horror comedy Little Monsters that makes me think she would suit the series. Portraying a kindergarten teacher trying to protect her class from a zombie outbreak, her mix of sincere positivity and deadpan humour could make her a Toni Collette / Kathryn Hahn esque figure.

Sandra Oh finally got the lead role she deserved in her series Killing Eve, her role as Eve Polastri allowing her to demonstrate her tremendous range in comedy and drama. She mainly now features in voiceover roles, such as Turning Red or Invincible, but it would be great to see her bring her frazzled energy to a Benoit Blanc mystery.

Pedro Pascal is currently the lead in two of the biggest possible television shows, firstly playing the eponymous character in Disney’s The Mandalorian, and recently taking on the lead role of Joel in HBO’s The Last Of Us. Although these two roles means Pedro is likely going to be fully booked for the majority of his time, a role in a Benoit Blanc ensemble seems perfectly suited for him.

Florence Pugh is probably the least likely, considering she’s now a critical and commercial darling with upcoming roles in Dune: Part Two and ongoing performance as Yelena Belova in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. However, her comedic timing demonstrated in Fighting With My Family and as Yelena is an underrated element of her repertoire that deserves more attention. She would seemingly suit a similar role to Ana De Armas and Janelle Monae, but I’d love to see that expectation get turned on its head and reveal her to be more similar to Kate Hudson in Glass Onion, the reversal of “hidden depths”.

Those are just some that come to mind, but I’d love to hear others thoughts on who they would have join the Benoit Blanc Cinematic Universe?

[msommers]

I would love more Maeve + Superstore thoughts, her friendship with Jonah sounds amazing

(i forgot about this in my drafts for too many days bc i’m a huge dummy don’t look at me here we go slamming post lmfao) oh boy, the tags were a 30 second long goof experiment but i'm always prepared to extend that for any scenario. let's make up some absolute nonsense for the lulz and cuteness.

literally do not ask me why posh brit accent maeve is working at a store in missouri because i don't have time for it and that's not part of the "everything here is for fun" theme.

one of her running gags is that she’s always talking about concepts for stories and tropes that she wants to explore/deconstruct, but anytime she’s asked about progress she’ll have some wild explanation for why she didn’t get very far into writing. there have been at least two rr martin comments made about how long it’s taken her to finish her first book. jonah, amy, sandra and cheyenne have all read some of her short stories/misc chapters of the first book because they’re here favorites full stop. final two seasons are for sure the “oh [bleep], maeve published her book and it’s really taking off” arc for her.

cheyenne is the little sister that she never had, they have matching nails and accessories all the time. maeve often does her hair for her because it’s fun to them and gives them chat time.

she did sandra’s hair and make-up for her wedding 🥰

was genuinely intimidated and putoff by dina for a good while but i cannot be talked out of believing that they wouldn’t have a c-plot in a later season episode of maeve making dina look as hot as can be and trying to teach her how to flirt without being so blunt. is she successful with that last bit?? not really, but she gets to dress dina up and also receive some good advice on not taking people’s shit along the way so that’s fantastic (garrett’s dying in the background and that’s all part of the plan tbh)

obligatory b-plot of maeve having to explain bisexuality and polamory to the breakroom clowns because most of them can’t understand her love life. probably came about as a result of another running gag where maeve talks about one of her dates and it doesn’t add up with her former comments much to the confusion of her coworkers, and then she has to whip out the lecture because she gets accused of straight up lying or fooling around on her partner.

once accidentally made people think she and amy were going on a date because she told justine they were "going out for dinner tonight" and it started an entire Discussion behind their backs (she does, in fact, put out the offer to amy before leaving work. gotta shoot that shot, maybe amy’s feeling a little curious that night who knows a girl can dream)

she and jonah instantly connected and became great friends. they share a specific optimistic outlook in the way that they can see the world for what it could be instead of what it currently is and it’s something that brought them together, then kept them close even through the rough times. she loves his commitment and dedication to any cause that he undertakes, his efforts are inspiring and keep her going whenever her own start to waver. she is absolutely obsessed with how he consistently finds a way to put his foot in his mouth during any conversation, the yin to her yang as maeve’s known for being able to spin a web as quickly and for as long as necessary. their shared need to be validated and praised goes a long way between them because they’re annoyingly nice to each other all the time. they’re those two at the breakroom table talking animatedly about their latest interest or topic they picked up from a podcast/news article/reddit post (toxic masculinity, current politics, feminism, some obscure piece of history or a cryptid of the week, etc). he’s endlessly patient with her and she’s beyond thankful for it. flipside is that she unironically loves listening to him go off on his Woke Rants and gets bullied about it but doesn’t care, she’s there for him through the relationship struggles and does her best to give advice while not stepping over the line (might toe it once or twice but. what can you do, she’s a drama lover). she might have been late because beauty routines but she was also there each step of the way for the union work, besties get it done. maeve sweet talks them and then jonah goes on a righteous rant it’s a win/win.

i think it’s entirely possible she and jonah dated because of how well they get along, but i don’t see it lasting a crazy long time. maybe two, three months at the most (perhaps it’s mostly bc i’m an amy/jonah hoe and they belong together forever but whatever, don’t perceive me). a scenario where they’d both decide it’s better they stay friends and they get away with it without much weirdness, aka maeve’s fine and jonah or the coworkers makes it awkward sometimes before it settles. i do in fact think he’d be the first love interest of maeve’s that i can see her using “baby” as the primary petname because like,,,it’s jonah. you get it. if they dated, she has a photo taken of them from one of their dates taped up in her breakroom locker and it stays up there until she leaves the job bc she adores it so much.

insert bit where maeve makes a threesome joke with her + jonah and amy, and there’s a pause Just long enough with everyone looking between each other that it appears genuine consideration is there but the camera cuts before anything else is said. the world may never know what happened after that

everyone keeps trying to make drama between her and amy because they’re both close to jonah, but i fully believe maeve would adore and respect her far too much to reach any level of rivalry. she’d be in awe of how strong of a woman amy is between raising her children and working her ass off so successfully, and i imagine a lot of their bonding would be maeve persuading her into taking time for herself or them having girls’ nights (whether by themselves or with some of the others).

put the tabby obligated “they have two hands” joke here about maeve/amy/jonah. i haven’t put any thought into if it’d work out or if the other two could be into that sort of relationship but i’m legally and morally obligated to bring it up on the principle that it’s My Thing.

[ultrahpfan5blog]

Turning Red - Movie Review

Personally, I feel Pixar has maybe the best quality control of any movie studio that I have followed. They are 25 movies in, and barring one or two movies, I would say their quality has ranged from good to all time classics. Pixar is coming off a good run since Cars 3, which I thought was ok, but since then they have done Incredibles 2, Toy Story 4, Onward, Soul, and Luca, all of which I have loved to various degrees. I feel bad that Onward, Soul, and Luca haven't really had the opportunity to make an impression in theaters, and the same is true for Turning Red. Having watched this movies last night, I can say that I definitely don't fall in its primary target audience. I think its fair to say that the primary audience for this movie is mothers and daughters, particularly asian mothers and daughters. But irrespective of that, this movie still brought a genuine smile on my face. Its a very sweet movie that hits the right emotional beats.

In some ways, this film reminded me a lot of Brave, which was another film about an uptight Mom and her rebellious daughter. There are definitely a few story parallels though its definitely not an exact match, but the film very much delves into what it is like for a young girl, growing up and experiencing puberty, as well the trials and tribulations of being a parent. Now, neither being a parent, nor a teenage girl, I can't directly relate, but as an asian, I did relate to a lot of the asian influences, such as parental expectations. The film does a real nice job bringing in a fantastical element of the lead character turning into a Red Panda when she experiences high emotions, which is a clear metaphor for puberty. Mei feels like a real teenager, with her obsession for 4*Town boy band, crush on a boy at the local department store, her band of friends who are all various ethnicities and different personality types. Then the parental dynamic is also very well shown, with the high strung, over protective mother and her daughter, as well as the milder and understanding father. The film just breezes by at just around 1.5 hours before credits. The humor works. It feels authentically asian and canadian in its influence.

If I have any complaints about this movie, its only that it only references the Mei's mother's past experiences. It is talked about but not really shown. That aspect of the story felt like it could have been quite powerful and it would have been interesting to see the parallel between how the the mother, who was a rebellious spirit herself, came to become the way she was, and how she learned from that experience to let Mei grow herself and make decisions for herself. So I think the movie could have benefited from an additional 15 mins or so exploring that with a little more detail. Also, I did have a bit of confusion over the Red Panda, because the characters in the film say that the Red Panda can get more powerful as you let it out more, and therefore can become more dangerous, which we see in an incident where Mei gets angry as the Red Panda. But the film kind of shrugs that off towards the end. I'm not sure if we are supposed to understand that she lost control only because she was trying to please both her friends and her parents, or if the Panda was actually just getting more powerful.

Overall though, this is a lovely movie. Like I said, I expect this will hit mothers and daughters a lot harder than it did me, but casual movie goers can still enjoy the humor and the color. The animation is always top quality by Pixar and the voice acting is excellent with Rosalie Chiang and Sandra Oh being the standouts. Wai Ching Ho is also great as Mei's grandmother and James Hong voices a local elder. The director Domee Shi has made a film that is obviously close to her heart and it feels it. Its a 8/10 for me. Not top tier Pixar, but right in the 2nd tier.

[jesuisgourde]

gay/queer references in Peter’s journals

Again, I have probably missed stuff due to going through pretty quickly and also due to having stared at this document for so long, everything has kind of blurred together.

Sometime close to the day that Carlos & I watched 'Love And Death on Long Island' (and afterwards paraded through the tea rooms of Picadilly) we both filled in application forms and were tres excited to be invited to the same group 'interview' - twas more like an audition though. I got the part. Carlos never. This did not bring any animosity - we both know that success for either of us is magnified a million times if it is shared by us both.

from 'A Diamond Guitar' by Truman Capote "Except that they did not combine their bodies or think to do so, though such things were not unknown at the (Prison), they were as lovers. Of the seasons, spring is the most shattering: stalks thrusting through the earth's winter-stiffened crust, young leaves cracking out on old left-to-die branches, the falling asleep wind cruising through all the newborn green. And with Mr Schaeffer it was the same, a breaking up, a flexing of muscles that had hardened. It was late January. The friends were sitting on the steps of the sheep house, each with a cigarette in his hand. A moon thin and yellow as a piece of lemon rind curved above them, and under its light, threads of ground frost glistened like silver snail trails. Tico Feo had been drawn into himself - silent as a robber waiting in the shadows."

Then a meet with Bounds Green's African prince outside whitechapel tube, rugged lookies at I in military attire & to a ruptured Albion rooms tidied in hours and now lids drawn heated on the eyes. A young looking fella has a crush on me.

Jackie/Camillia/Marie/Kate/Chris/V. churchill Jackie/Evelina/Jasmine/Sachi/Dalston/Sussie Sandra/Carlene/FP/Jay/Dalston/Kraut

There sat a young black man, perhaps in his early or middle twenties. He looked for all the world like the archetypal rude boy. Clean, cheap reebok, nike, adidas variously rolled, laced & zipped about his lean, spreadeagled body that hung loosely about the waiting room chair. Gold & tattoos adorned his person, and a blank animal look was attached to his clear face. He sat before me in a row of four empty chairs, staring at polished floor or the mundane television. A balding white man minced in & all perceptions were suddenly proven to be false as they embraced and snuggled up to each other, giggling & whispering & touching each others noses.... very much in love, fingers crossed for the blood tests.

[Image: an article from Gay Times of an interview with Peter. For some reason, the portrait included alongside the article is of Carl wearing a grey and black t-shirt.] Name? Peter Doherty Age? 22 Where are you? I'm on the motorway just north of Southampton. What kind of day are you having? (Vaguely) Erm... quite misty. Something's waiting around the corner, but there are no corners on the motorway, so we'll just have to wait and see what lies ahead. Maybe something will happen tonight.... What's this we hear about you once being a rent boy? Well, when times are hard, duty calls. How long ago was it? When I was 19, about three years ago. How do we know this isn't just a Shaun Ryder-type lie? 'Cause if it was, it would make me a complete scumbag and I'm not, and I'm not interested in that kind of pantomime. It wasn't a very happy time. I didn't really enjoy it. Why did you give it up? (grimly) Well, certain people disappeared... and anyway, ultimately I found myself no longer in such a vulnerable position anymore. Dawn broke, and I realised that it was a beautiful world after all. Have you done any other dodgy jobs? All of us in the band have tried to deal, but it's not good if you like the drugs too much. You just end up using them yourself! I once was a gravedigger. I used to do it with my mate in Willesden Green cemetery. We didn't actually do the digging, a machine did that, but we used to have to fill them in. It was pretty grim work. So are you gay then? Love is love, wherever it comes from. I'm not anything, really. I am a very sexual person but... I dunno, I believe in liberty... The Marquis de Sade has a lot to answer for... Do you get a lot of gay fans? Yeah - well, there's one guy in particular. He's very shy and he follows us around. He brings in letters and cards and stuff, but he's very quiet. I think John (the bassist) is the main pulling power in the band. Are you jealous about that? Nah! I've known him too long.

You know I'm alright i dont even care i like it when they stare & stare call me queer, dear oh dear a million things & what I wear He's real hard when he's with his mates but I'll saw him again & he was too late

Dear NME I'd have thought after the Gay Times piece, the interview with Rapture fanzine & our recent gig at the Slum Club everything would be clear. No it still remains to give a big hearty fuck off to all these twisted suburban types calling me a liar. Vulnerable young men & women all over the world find themselves victims of circumstance.

she was dressed in suit & tie & lightly etched-on moustache. 'I've always wanted to kiss a bird in the back of a taxi.' she says, running her hand up the fishnet ladders of my thigh. Stepping onto the front line in Bow puddles, elevators, buzzing doors,

[Image: the original page in the book has been preserved. Two paragraphs have been boxed off with biro. They read:] “...cast Richard Burton and Rex Harrison as bickering queer barbers and then much more uncompromisingly in William Friedkin's adaptation of The Boys in the Band (1970), which introduced some of the plainer four letter words in the English language to the screen for the first time. 'Who,' asks Cliff Gorman, in his brilliant portrayal of the most effeminate of the homosexual group as they gather for a soul-searching party, 'Who do you have to fuck to get a drink around here?' Other homosexual manifestations to occur in movies around this time included an elliptical but unmistakeable male fellatio scene in John Schlesinger's Midnight Cowboy (1969) when Jon Voight, as a broke and disillusioned Texas stud importunes in a New York cinema....”

[Image, top left: a blurry photo of John onstage, playing bass. Image, top right, sideways: a photo of the band onstage. Carl and John are on the left, sharing a mic. Peter is on the right, playing guitar and singing into his own mic. Image, centre left: a torn photo of Peter sitting in a chair, shirtless, playing guitar. Only his bottom half from the chest down is visible. Image, centre left: a torn photo of Peter sitting in a chair, shirtless, playing guitar. Only his top half from shoulders up is visible. Image, bottom left: a torn fragment of a photo. What looks like a denim-clad knee and a yellow carrier bag are visible. Image, bottom middle: a photo of someone's knee in torn jeans, taken from under a table. Image, bottom right: a torn photo of Carl in a black sleeveless shirt, posing with his fingers in his mouth.] [A paragraph from the original page of the book has been left exposed and boxed off with black biro. It reads:] “The Boys in the Band was displaced by an immeasurably more powerful portrayal of homosexual groups, Fortune and Men's Eyes (1971). Set in a Quebec prison, this disturbing, factually based drama vividly recounted the corrupted of a heterosexual convict trapped in a tough, potentially vicious homosexual society. In one horrifying scene, a weak, put-upon prisoner is gang-banged by his fellow inmates; in another, the 'hero' is blackmailed by his cellmate into accepting him as his lover for the duration...”

Like a cat on a hot tin roof Like a macho man in a roomful of poofs I have tried in my way to be free.

[Written in Peter's handwriting] Jerome... is that how it's spelt? [Written in someone else's handwriting] Yes it is [Written in Peter's handwriting] Can I read you something? [Written in someone else's handwriting] Yes please.....

I insist, new book of Albion, befuddled by drugs I may yes about 2 but I do not miss out entirely on the subtleties of the inhuman relation ships that are this the mainstay of my stay here in one bounce of a loaf. Boys are fooled into fooling with boys. [...]

More general references/some extra explanations:

“The boy looked at Johnny” is a line from Patti Smith's song “Horses,” part one of a three-part song called “Land.” In the song, a young man named Johnny is assaulted by another man in a locker room; he then mentally journeys to other fantastical lands and visions. A lot of people interpret it as being about gay sex, although some people interpret it as being about a stabbing.

Peter quotes and references Jean Genet's writing and works about Jean Genet many times. While Genet's works are nearly all about crime and prison (one of Peter's main interests and points of fascination), all of his works are very explicitly gay. The Thief's Journal is more about Genet's various lovers than it is about his criminal history. Our Lady Of The Flowers is about a drag queen and her criminal lovers, and is also extremely erotic.

(“Jerome” is Jerome Alexandre, vocalist of The Deadcuts, who was friends with Peter and Mark Keds.)

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

End Of Year TV Asks that I would like answered are 2, 4 ,6, 8, 12,16,18, 19 and 20.

I already answered 12, 18 and 19 so I'm switching those out for 22, 24 and 25, as agreed.

2: Favorite TV show you’ve watched/discovered this year.

I never have just one favorite show, so this is really hard. Based on the sheer amount of times I’m happy to rewatch it over and over though, I’ll say Julie and the Phantoms.

4: Longest and shortest TV shows you’ve watched this year.

Julie and the Phantoms was the shortest, with only 9 half-hour episodes. The longest show I watched that was new to me was Pretty Little Liars, which has 160 episodes. The longest rewatch I finished was Elementary which I watched either once or twice this year, all 154 episodes of it.

6: Favorite platonic relationship you discovered this year.

All the people on Ted Lasso at the same time cuz they’re one big family. Bonus shoutout: His Dark Materials traumatized me, but I would watch a whole spinoff with Lee Scoresby and John Parry.

8: A ship that finally got (back) together this year.

This one really didn’t apply for me this year! Most things I watched were either on S1 or S2, so I hadn’t been waiting long for a ship to come together. My returning shows had either dead otps or established ones. I enjoyed finally seeing Devi and Paxton try out a real relationship this year on Never Have I Ever, so I’ll choose that one.

16: A TV show you wanted to watch this year but didn’t get the chance to.

Leverage: Redemption, because I stubbornly refuse to start it until I finish rewatching the original.

20: A TV show you’ve stopped watching this year.

The Chair. It was only six episodes and I love Sandra Oh and Holland Taylor but I was so deeply painfully bored by the midlife crisis professor dude storyline that I wanted to do better things with my life.

22: Favorite scene/quote from a TV show this year.

Hacks was full of them but I don’t have any memorized cuz I haven’t rewatched it yet. Letitia taking a baseball bat to the cars in Lovecraft Country was a thing of beauty. Everything Cory does on The Morning Show kills me, whether it’s framing business propositions at Alex in romantic terms or making uncontrollable sad eyes at Bradley. The monologues on Midnight Mass were theater, I loved that. Ahhhh I can’t pick! Lol. I love all my shows. Everything about Schmigadoon was perfection for me, I can’t even narrow that one down. Same with Julie and the Phantoms. As for a quote, “You had me at ‘Coach,’” from Roy Kent on Ted Lasso was a fave...but “Hey! Better manners when I'm holding a dart. Please.” from Ted himself is iconic.

24: Any event/news/etc. about a TV show you love that made you happy this year?

Finally got a release date and trailers for The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel S4, that’s been really exciting :D Also they announced The Midnight Club this year which I’m really looking forward to, because I’ve enjoyed every Mike Flanagan series so far and this one is based off a Christopher Pike book (I loved his books growing up).

25: Rec me a TV show I should watch next year!

Oh but this one’s hard!! I rec you almost everything I like and then you either give it a try or opt out, so I’m not sure I have any I liked you don’t already know about. *refers to my list* Lovecraft Country, Hacks, and The Nevers are the only ones from this year that I’m not aware of you already trying, and I think you were already planning to check out The Nevers. Lovecraft Country has way too much horror for me to rec it to you. 

Hacks is fantastic but it’s an odd comedy, I don’t know if it’s odd in a way you would like. The ‘ladies of comedy’ vibes of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel but with not-always-likable platonic soulmates, which means the humor often reminds me of Fleabag in a way. It’s only got 10 short episodes in case you decide you’re interested.

If I look back before this year, Watchmen has the racial justice + history of Lovecraft Country, but with superheroes instead of horror--and it has the Jean Smart of Hacks! Lol. You have to be willing to watch and see how the threads of the story together so it takes patience to appreciate it, but it’s also only got 9 episodes total.

end of the year tv asks!

[yetanotherfilmkid]

TV Shows I’ve Binged During Iso & Brief Thoughts on Them

I noticed lately that I have been watching far more series than movies so I thought I’d share a few thoughts on what I’m watching at the moment.

High Fidelity - I loved this show so much that I watched it twice (once by myself and the second time with my friend, Ethan). Definitely the standout feature of the show is the soundtrack, it sent me on a 4 week Bowie-Bender both times, and Rob’s outfits (much time was spent with Ethan discussing her killer style). I definitely recommend this if you’re a music lover.

Fleabag - Fleabag is competing to be my favourite show of all time. Even though I personally believe that season 2 was (eeeeever so slightly) better, the whole show is funny and brash and sad and relatable and I want to just loop it in my brain forever. High Fidelity and Fleabag are cut from the same cloth in subject/format but I think Fleabag does a more intimate job of it. This is easily one of the most satisfying shows ever, the character development is beautiful and doesn’t feel forced. Also, fourth-wall-breakers, take notes. Phoebe Waller-Bridge is just an amazing writer and actress, holy hell. 

The Good Place - I accidentally binge-re-watched all 4 seasons in 6 days (oops). I don’t even know where to begin on how much I love this damn show. It just keeps getting better as you go along, even though the first season is phenomenal, the rest just ...improves?? It’s genuinely hilarious (“I love you too, egg” has had me cackling at 3 am like a madwoman more than once) and the discussion on ethics and humanity is just *chef’s kiss*. It’s not often that you see a show with decent and insightful commentary on morals, politics, humanity and the good and evil binary; multiple POC in leading roles; genuinely good humour and aesthetics and set design that deserve love. Everyone should watch this show.

Community - This was another re-watch for me (Ethan recommended it to me a couple of years ago) but it has always held a special place in my heart. Much like The Good Place, the heart of the show runs through the idea that humans, together, are better and will make each other better people. I could continue to be sentimental about the characters but that wouldn’t give me enough time to gush about the several other beauties of the show for example, homages to classic movies, Donald Glover, the many 3%er jokes, paintball episodes, Troy and Abed doing literally anything, the absolute absurdity of the show, the list is infinitely long and it’s only a matter of time before I accidentally summarise each individual episode. #SixSeasonsAndAMovie bitches ✌

Love - Ethan and I watched this together and it was pretty fantastic. We both agreed that Gus and Mickey were kinda overrated as a couple and as human beings but even so it was a fun and wholesome watch. We spent multiple hours bitching about all the characters, especially Gus and Mickey, and occasionally the writers. This is the kind of show you watch because you’re super invested in the side characters and have a reluctant soft spot for the main characters, but as a whole is entirely lovable. (Bertie deserves better).

Midnight Gospel - Midnight Gospel is an absolute trip to watch. Animating a podcast was a really cool idea but how can we possibly make it cooler?? By animating groovy space creatures in psychedelic palettes of course! The whole show is sensory overload in the best way possible and I want to re-watch it asap because there is so much to absorb in such a short amount of time. Even though the early episodes are totally awesome, the last few episodes are my favourites by far as they feel more personal and not gonna lie, I cried in the last episode. I really hope it comes back for more seasons because it was a really strong start.

Normal People - I read the book and then counted the days til the series came out. I’m not joking. I loved this adaptation a lot. It paid a lot of respect to the book but managed to divert comfortably into its own medium too. I was super worried they’d turn it into a flowery teen romance series and I’m infinitely grateful they didn’t. Ethan thought that the series was actually an improvement on the book whereas I love them both equally. The two highlights for me were the cinematography, the shots were so damn pretty, and the pacing of the script, it left a lot open for the audience to sit with and think about before moving on. It’s probably one of my favourite adaptations of a book ever.

Unorthodox - Ethan and I watched this most recently and this is another one everyone needs to see. I’d like to start this by saying I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Hasidic community portrayed in any media before which was really interesting, I feel like majority of devout followers in media are Christian so this was an interesting learning point for me. Unorthodox was really beautifully made and, most importantly, it was made by people who genuinely care about the story. The absolute standout was the amount of raw emotion packed into it all. The characters don’t even need dialogue for us to feel what they’re feeling. Shira Haas did a phenomenal job portraying Esty. I think it’s also important to remember that it’s not an indictment of religion, but rather, an exploration of Esty’s personal relationship with God and herself. Just thinking about this show makes me want to talk about it for hours

One Day at a Time - I watched this one with my sister @juicebox-baby and holy crap it is extremely wholesome. It’s your classic family sitcom but it’s also super heartfelt and inclusive. Full disclosure, I cried like an absolute baby on like 5 or 6 separate occasions. At times, the writing feels like it’s trying to cram too much in and as a result, the arcs can feel a little bit rigid but that’s fairly easy to look past in favour of the really sweet family feel. Also I have to take a second to say that Abuelita is a gift to humanity.

Killing Eve - Phoebe Waller-Bridge is back. Can Jodie Comer and Sandra Oh please get all of the awards for having stupid amounts of talent? Not to quote the ads but they really do have killer chemistry and it’s a little offensive how amazing they are. I don’t normally go for murder/espionage shows but there was something about this one that had me completely hooked. Even my mum (who falls asleep during every. single. show.) managed to stay awake almost the whole time and was nagging me to watch the next episode with her. 

[gladiatortale]

My DEPRESSION BEATING, fandom obsessing, shit-tastic FANTASTIC year in review!

TL;DR: I’m fixing my mental health and figuring out WHO THE FUCK I AM one fandom filled day at a time! Thank you to everyone who’s been there for me along the way. xoxo

what’s up HEATHENS.

stating the goddamn obvious here, it’s been a HELLUVA YEAR. One emotional rollercoaster after another but we’re ALMOST DONE. I know things aren’t gonna magically get better the second it flips to 00:01 on January first, but I’m excited to put this year behind me, and (SHOCKINGLY) a bit sad to see it go.

It was a year where the whole world completely stopped, we realized what is really important, what is really worth fighting for, and took a GODDAMN SECOND to just breathe.

For me personally, the year (which I’m counting off from November 1st) started out UNBELIEVABLY SHIT. I had just been kicked out of the country I called home for the last four years (thank you Brexit), I had ZERO job prospects, my depression was the WORST it had ever been, and I just didn’t want to get out of bed in the morning. And in the beginning, the pandemic felt like salt in the wound, an extra kick in the teeth to my early twenties that had already “failed to launch.”

But I tried to embrace the madness, really take advantage of the world (that I always thought moved to fast) properly slowing down, and take time to try and become myself again. I wanted to figure out what I loved and try and become a bit more like the person I was before my depression got so bad.

I often say I became that Manic Trash Planet Lady™ you see in sci-fi adventure films; a bit zany to say the least, with a million ideas and a very eclectic fashion sense, but embracing the insanity as it comes...

*cough cough* audrey, get to the goddamn point!

Right. lol. THE POINT IS! 

I’m not 100% “healed”, I’m not sure if I think depression is a “oh look you’re officially cured! hooray!” type of disease, but this year I let myself ENJOY SHIT for the first time in god knows how long. I still don’t know “wHaT i WaNt To dO WiTh mY LiFe”, but I’ve got a better idea and I’m heading in (what feels like) the right direction. And most of all, I can look back and say I am better than where I was a year ago.

So I wanted to say T H A N K Y O U to the mad lads on this website that introduced me to the fandoms, shows, movies, fics... THE SHIT that made me happy this year and were there to be one (BIG) piece in my healing journey.

AND SO, with out further rambling ADO! Here are the highlights of the year marked by my ridiculous hyper-fixations and OBSESSIONS. Thanks for putting up with me ya fiends, xoxox

November 2019  The Arcana (Visual Novel)

I had just gotten home and I was in a LOOOOOOW place. Randomly decided to download this app when it came up and it proceeded to ruin my life (and my bank account...) for pretty much the rest of the year. It was exactly what I needed to get me through a tough time and I was thoroughly, horse-blinders-up-to-the-rest-of-the-world, OBSESSED. These gorgeous magical fiends ruined me and all I could say was thank you.

Joined the fandom: November 2019 Obsession peaked: Late November Obsession faded: December 2019; I started a new job AND my bank statement came in and I realized I had accidentally spent over SIXTY BUCKS on this stupid app. No ragrets, but I definitely started to phase out at that point. Fandom friends: Velma, (@lanavxds on insta) miss you girlie xx Fanfics you NEED to read: ‘Second Mistake’ by DeathBelle on AO3, because DAAAAAYUM SON. Favourite moments: Basically the whole of the Julian arc. That gangly himbo OWNED my ass for a month.

December 2019 Hazbin Hotel (TV Series)

Y’ALL okay here me out. Am I proud of this one? No. Is the show crass as hell? OOOOOOOOHHHH YEAH. Did my angsty ass love it at the end of last year? DAMN STRAIGHT IT DID. Goes without saying, but this is NOT FOR EVERYBODY, but it definitely helped me along the way to becoming more comfortable with myself and being open about being the massive geek that I always was, and watching things I enjoy regardless of what people say about it.

Joined the fandom: December 2019 Obsession peaked: Shortly there after. Fandom friends: None. Dipped one toe in fandom discourse and then promptly YEETED the fuck outta there. Obsession faded: January 2019. Still curious to see the full series if A24 actually ever does produce the whole thing, but I have def moved away from it. Fanfics you NEED to read: Haven’t read any. Maybe I’m a pussy baby piece-o-shit, but I DID NOT want to go down that rabbit hole, NO MA’AM. Favourite moments:

Discovering the Hunicast podcast. These guys are a riot and Ashley is a flustered GEM. Even if you don’t watch the show, go watch an episode of these fucking LADS just dicking about and your day will get better.

Watching the first episode with my partner and watching him realize his girlfriend is a total freak.

January 2020 Lore Olympus (Webtoon Comic)

*Officially* discovered this one thanksgiving weekend in 2019, but my Arcana phase was still raging pretty strong at that point so I didn’t really get in to it until later. EVERYBODY AND THEIR MOTHER NEEDS TO READ IT. It has everything and handles the reality sexual assault and it’s aftermath EXTREMELY well.

Joined the fandom: Late November 2019 Obsession peaked: January 2020 Fandom friends: KELLEY. MA GIRL XOXOXO Obsession faded: June-ish 2020. I’m like 10 chapters behind now, but I still love this story so much. Fanfics you NEED to read: SO MANY ON MY ‘MARKED FOR LATER’ LIST AAAAAH. I have to get to that... NEW YEARS RESOLUTION lol Favourite moments: Having a drunk conversation on New Years Eve in 2019 with one of my oldest friends from high school about how much she loved it too. Helped me see how popular fandom and fandoms, are especially after feeling like I needed to hide my enthusiasm through high school and uni. (THAT WAS A MISTAKE BUT I’LL GET THERE IN A MINUTE).

February 2020 Versailles (TV Series)

SO FUCKING GAY Y’ALL. Oh my god everyone in this show is so gay. Even when they’re not they still are a little bit. AND BEST OF ALL!! it’s very historically accurate (except for the demon satanic nonsense in season 3, what was that???)

Joined the fandom: February 2020 Obsession peaked: Like??? The SECOND I finished episode one. Fandom friends: none... WHERE ARE ALL OF YOU??? Obsession faded: March 2020. It was a fast and passionate love affair, what can I say? Fanfics you NEED to read: IF YOU HAVE RECS, GIVE ‘EM TO MEEEEE. Favourite moments: 

Showing the first episode to a friend of mine and the *ungodly GASP* that came out of her throat was... PRICELESS.

The ENTIRE throuple(???) relationship between the Chevalier, Philipe, and Palatine. PLATONIC/ ROMANTIC LOVE G O A L S.

March 2020 Yuri!!! On Ice (TV Series)

*deep breath* ...y’all knew this one was coming.

Was I ready for this show to ruin my fucking life? No.  Am I so glad it happened??? FUCK YEAH.

NEVER IN MY LIFE have I fallen off the deep end so quickly with a fandom. HOLY SHIT. This blog didn’t have much of an “identity” before, but I you said that this is a Yuri On Ice blog now I wouldn’t even be mad (nor could I really defend myself to the contrary... bc??? like??? just go LOOK at my archive). Craziest thing is I watched the first two episodes like?? a solid TWO YEARS ago, but I didn’t continue watching because I was just not in the right head space for all the love and silliness and positivity.

I could do a whole separate post about how much this show and how this fandom has changed my life (DON’T TEMPT ME I JUST MIGHT). But I’ll stick with the highlights for now ;)

Joined the fandom: March 2020  Obsession peaked: Has it peaked?? Went straight up and it still going lol Fandom friends: Sandra, my mentor, my queen @aeriamamaduck, my fandom ride-or-die. Thank you for taking this internet bby under your wing. RACHEL @idancewiththefairies I TRAPPED YOU HERE. MUAHAHAHA xxx Obsession faded: ON GOING. CAN’T STOP, WON’T STOP. Fanfics you NEED to read: jfc, SO MANY.

‘Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches’ and ‘Of Bright Stars and Burning Hearts’ by Reiya @kazliin​ -- Rivals AU companion pieces. Longest fics I’ve ever read and JESUS CHRIST these two fucking SENT ME. Most popular YOI fics on AO3 for a REASON.

‘Tell Me Where Your Love Lies’ by @aeriamamaduck -- Royalty AU, trope-breaking ABO. Ah sweet, TMWYLL, how you’ve killed me over and over again. This BEAUTIFUL wip has SUCH amazing world-building idk where to start (Congrats on passing 50,000 hits!) EVERYONE GO READ IT.

‘Blackbird’ by sixpences -- WWII/Coldwar Spy Fic. I don’t have enough words to describe how amazing this is. It’s elevated to a higher plane beyond fanfic. Just go read it. Thank me later.

‘Zanka’ by rinsled05 @dreaming-fireflies -- The geisha fic that ruined me. *deep breath* AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH *gasp* I’m fine. lol I sooooo not ready for this fic. Holy hell, Aoyagi had my heart in his hands from the first chapter. “’Please’ [...] ‘Don’t give me hope.’“ FUUUUCK.

‘Echoes’ by Reiya @kazliin -- Future fic. First fic I cried at... BOI. I was NOT ready for this. Shouldn’t be surprised given the author, but MAN. “‘A love like that, a love like what they had together, it never leaves completely.’ Yuri spoke again, eyes still staring out onto the ice, lost in memory. ‘There are always echoes.’” JUST FUCK ME UP.

Favourite moments: Oh good lord, where do I begin??

Having two (count ‘em TWO) main characters with mental health issues (Yuuri and his anxiety and Victor with burn out and depression) and NOT MAKING IT THE ONLY ASPECT OF THEIR PERSONALITY. CLAPS FOR KUBO AND YAMAMOTO!!

Everything about Yurio (ESPECIALLY HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH YUUKO AND HIS GRANDPA), that tsundere motherfucker is too pure for this world.

THE KISS. THE PROPOSAL. MY HEART WASN’T READY. AAAAAH!!

This fandom *properly* introducing me to smut on AO3...

Thinking I was going to get Rachel to like the show... NOT being prepared for her to fall off the deep end and START LIKING REAL SKATING TOO!!

Staying up waaaaaay too late waaaaaay too often to plan out plot points for TMWYLL with Sandra. Love ya dearie.

The warm fuzzy feeling I get every time I think about Victor and Yuuri.

April 2020 Bungou Stray Dogs (TV Series)

I had a hunch I was gonna like this show considering ALL of the characters are based off of famous classic authors from around the world... what I was NOT prepared for was just HOW MUCH I was going to love it. HOLY SHIT. The art style? Love it. The plot?? Bonkers, but so fun. THE VOICE CAST??? AMAZING. Highly recommend to anyone who wants to get in to anime, great place to start.

Joined the fandom: April 2020 Obsession peaked: Probably this summer? But we have DEF plateaued in a VERY high place. Fandom friends: FIJI. MA BOIIIII @lil-1nsane  Obsession faded: Hasn’t. Hope it doesn’t Fanfics you NEED to read: So so so many. The smut in this fandom is *chef’s kiss*, but here are a few...

‘He Works Hard For the Money’ by CataclysmicEvent @cataclysmicevent2019​ -- Sugar Daddy AU. FUCK MAN. I was not expecting to like this one, but bloody hell. This fic grabbed me by the throat and WOULD NOT let me go. Praying for chapter 16! But the author is working on another STELLAR fic so I’m okay for now.

‘Everything or Nothing’ by CataclysmicEvent @cataclysmicevent2019​ -- University AU. FUCK THIS FIC. Started reading it as I was waiting for HWHFTM to update and BOI, this fic ROCKS. The alternating POV fits so well with the enemies/idiots-to-lovers vibe. Solid 10 outta 10.

‘The City Where Wind Blows’ by @raven-rein​ -- Cancer Death fic. *pained shriek* AAAAAAGUUUUUUUHHHH *gasp* aaaaaaAAAAAAHHHHHHHH, FUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKK MEEEEE. THIS FIC. Only the second fic I’ve ever cried to but I BAWLED MY GODDAMN EYES OUT. FUUUUUUUCK. I was not ready, never would have been ready. This is so tremendously well done, it killed me so beautifully, 

‘Haunted by Hatred’ by DeathBelle -- Canon compliant Soukoku. It is a CRIME that DeathBelle doesn’t have more BSD fics on her page, but this one is still brilliant.

Favourite moments:

THE CHUUYA-DAZAI MAFIA REUNION TEAM UP WHEN THEY FIGHT LOVECRAFT. Ooof. BOI. We love it.

The first three episodes. Soooo many break neck plot twists.

Every insane hypothetical conversation with Fiji.

Every time Atsushi or Tanizaki is on screen bc I LOVE THESE LIL BEANS.

June 2020 Trash Taste (Podcast)

Goddamn I love these chaotic lads so much.

As I became more and more comfortable with myself and my love for anime I stumbled upon these three goons, -- Joey, Connor, and Garnt, -- best known for there SUPER successful (mostly) anime YouTube channels. Even if you don’t watch anime, WATCH/LISTEN TO THIS PODCAST. The focus is mostly on their lives and the overall expat/immigrant experience, with a bit of anecdotal anime references sprinkled in. 

This show is both wholesome and heathenous in equal measure, and after having lived abroad for a significant portion of my (admittedly still quite short) life, it was such a breath of fresh air to hear people talk so openly about how living outside your home country is both wonderful and terrifying. They’re wonderfully candid about the fact that even if you love a place dearly, no where is perfect, and you WILL hate somethings about your new home even if the majority of the experience is fantastic. I cannot rate this show highly enough.

Joined the fandom: June 5th 2020, loved it from the first episode. Obsession peaked: July maybe? I was RELIGIOUS about watching the episodes as soon as they came out. Still watch every week, but less “on time.” Fandom friends: None :( but I have tricked my partner in to listening several times :) Obsession faded: It’s dimmed from where it was, but still going strong. Fanfics you NEED to read: NONE. NEVER PLAN TO. Hard and fast rule, I don’t read fics about real people. Characters played by real people, even that’s a maybe for me. But real-real people? FUCK NO. (some of my) Favourite moments:

Any time Garnt and Connor get into a big-brain-monkey-brain argument and Joey is just LOSING his GODDAMN MIND in the corner.

Bringing a retired Japanese porn star in the show for an honest conversation about consensual sex work and showing people can have more than one career in life.

Everything about the, ‘Are Online Friends Real Friends?’ episode. GO WATCH IT, it’s brilliant.

Garnt making “chotto-THE-FUCKING-matte” an expression

August 2020 Great Pretender (TV Series)

Spent most of the summer marinating in my BSD and YOI bubbles, until THIS BAD BOI came up on my Netflix recommendations. HOOOO BOI. This is some Anime Of The Year shit right here. Has a pretty original concept (Catch Me If You Can by way of Oceans 11-ish) but generally starts out like most other shounen (sans the super powers). AND THEN EPISODE FIVE HAPPENS. Not gonna spoil it but they TOOK THAT SHIT UP A NOTCH. Brilliant, even with a bit of an insane ending. GO WATCH THIS ONE.

Joined the fandom: August 2020 Obsession peaked: Pretty much as soon as I started watching it. Fandom friends: What’s up Fiji ;) @lil-1nsane Obsession faded: Naturally faded, but so glad I watched Fanfics you NEED to read: None so far! Little scared about this one, heard mixed reviews, but maybe someday. Favourite moments:

Edamame’s “madness arc” at the end of season 2. HOOOO BOY.

Laurent getting fucking WRECKED when Edamame punches him mid way through season 2, kills me every time.

Introducing my partner to anime with this show.

October 2020 Attack on Titan (TV Series)

RETURN OF THE KING. lol

In my quest to find an anime that I can watch with my partner, I turned on season 1 of this bad boi. Holy hell I forgot how much I loved this show, NO WONDER everyone lost their goddamn minds when this show first aired. I NEED to catch up before all the season four spoilers come to get me...

Joined the fandom: Winter 2016 Obsession peaked: Basically as soon as I started watching it. Fandom friends: None yet, but I know you’re out there... Obsession faded: 2017, JUST BEFORE SEASON TWO... I should have stuck around longer I know, but it’s slowly coming back. Reeeeeally need to catch up on seasons two, three, and four. Fanfics you NEED to read: GIVE ME YOUR RECS HEATHENS. Favourite moments:

Watching my partner FREAK OUT about Eren’s “death.”

EVERYTHING ABOUT POTATO GORL! lol

Getting in a conversation with a die hard fan after I hadn’t watched it in three years and saying... “Who’s that blond bitch that cries all the time?”/ “Armin?”/ “THAT’S THE ONE!”

November 2020... kind of. Figure Skating (Sport)

Okay this one is a bit hard to explain. 

I have been a DIE HARD figure skating for A LOOOOOONG time. My grandmother got me a hat from the 2002 Olympics in Salt Lake City and I remember watching even then. But I first became consciously aware of different skaters, my faves, etc. from about 2010. I vividly remember watching Plushenko skating in 2014 while on a school trip to Hawaii, and my friends laughing at me as I yelled at the TV.

But I didn’t TRULY get involved in the fandom side of it until this year. I had all this knowledge bottled up, but didn’t have any skating friends to talk to... UNTIL NOW. Super ironic that this happened in a year with almost NO skating, but I’ll take what I can get ;) Also did I stay up until FOUR-GODDAMN-THIRTY IN THE MORNING a few nights ago to stream Japanese Nationals on my phone??? YOU BET I DID.

Joined the fandom: Three times; 2002, 2010, and 2020. Obsession peaked: 2014? 2018? Idk it peaks any time someone does something amazing. Fandom friends: Rachel, my girl @idancewiththefairies​, WHY DIDN’T I INTRODUCE YOU TO THIS SOONER??? Obsession faded: Hasn’t. Won’t. lol Fanfics you NEED to read: NOPE. NONE. NOT GONNA HAPPEN. No fanfics about real people. Never gonna change that. (some of my) Favourite moments:

Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir doing THAT routine at the 2018 Olympics.

Rachel​ sheepishly admitting to me that Shoma may have replaced Yuzu as her favourite, and me being SO DAMN PROUD of her for growing and developing her own skating opinions apart from me.

Yuzu’s 2012 ‘Romeo and Juliet’ routine and Worlds. THE RAW FUCKING POWER OF THAT SKATE.

Plushenko, cheeky bastard, changing his 2014 Team Event routine AS IT WAS HAPPENING.

The worlds friendliest rivalry between Yuzu and Nathan.

Any thing the Shibutani’s do, and all they do to break up the stereotype that all of Ice Dancing has to be rOmAnTiC and SeNsUaL to be good.

Watching my early faves become coaches and the D R A M A.

Honorable Mentions:

Coco (Film): I watched this the weekend I came home and I owe this movie a lot. It is so sweet an heartwarming, and it a roundabout way it brought me back to Tumblr (needed somewhere to vent my feelings considering I watched the movie a solid THREE YEARS after it came out, Tumblr seemed like the place to go lol). Watched in again in 2020 and it’s just as amazing.

Jekyll and Hyde (All media): Loved this book from the first time I read it in my first year of uni. But in December 2019, my fandom understanding reached its PEAK. The musical?? The comic?? YOOOOOO.

Dear Evan Hansen (Musical): I have BARELY engaged in fandom discourse, but the MUSIC. She fucking SLAPS.

Sirius the Jaeger (TV Series): This show is such an underrated gem. It literally has so much; "dead” family drama? Eclectic international group of monster hunters? Cowboys and vampires?? Yes, yes, and YES. And the main character has the same Japanese voice actor as Atsushi from BSD!

Studio Ghilbi (Films): My love affair with Ghibli goes back to when I was about 5 and BEGGED my mom to take me to the library so we could rent Kiki’s Delivery Service on DVD. But that love has been FULLY rejuvenated this year when I went to the Ghibli Film Festival in New York City (ironically in the last week in February). If you haven’t seen them, go watch From Up On Poppy Hill, Whisper of the Heart, and The Wind Rises. Spoilers, you’re probably gonna cry.

If you’ve made it this far, THANK YOU FOR READING! 

And thank you to all the amazing people that made my 2020 not so horrible. Good riddance 2020, don’t let the door hit you on the way out!

[amandaklwrites]

Movie Review: Practical Magic (1998)

Genre: Drama/Fantasy/Magical Realism

Rating: 10/10

Movie Review:

I love this movie. I think I somehow loved it even more the second time around. I love how that can even be possible.

Now, I will start out by saying that I had only watched this movie for the first time like two or three years ago, after reading the book. So, I never grew up with this movie, I never saw it growing up at all. I saw it as an adult. For someone who loves witchy things, I don’t know how this one escaped me for so long. It just never came about.

About a week or so ago, I was having a really rough time. I had just purchased this DVD at my work when I realized I personally didn’t own it. So, in some weird twist of my feelings, my mom and I watched it really late at night, the night before a storm rolled through. Which was pretty appropriate in my opinion.

And I loved it even more this time. It lifted my spirits, it brought me back to myself, it reminded me a lot of things of myself.

Like I said, I read the book before watching this movie that few years ago, and I did like the book a lot. But I think after reading Hoffman’s latest book, Magic Lessons, about their ancestor Maria Owens, and loving the shit out of it, I found even more of an appreciation for her other books (I’m planning to read the other books from this “world” really soon, so I’ll make some book reviews soon). So, I think that’s also why I loved this movie even more so now than I did before.

The top thing I love about this movie is the feeling of it. If you’ve seen this movie and love it, you’ll know what I mean. I like that it’s set in our own world, but it doesn’t have the feeling of urban fantasy (think Shadowhunters and such). It just feels like everyday life, but this family has some extra powers. They’re mystical, mysterious, but not evil. So, in some interesting way, it doesn’t make the movie feel out of place or fantastical. But that there could be that strange family that lives on the end of your street that everyone calls witches, and in fact, they are.

Then, I love the two main sisters. Sally and Gillian couldn’t be any more different. They’re the complete opposites. And they seem like typical series—they argue, they fight, but they love one another deeply. I think some of their deep connection comes from the shared trauma—they lost their father, and then their mother, and they were all that they had in the world. To me, if that wasn’t factored in, I don’t think they would be as close as they ended up being. I’m not saying that they wouldn’t have loved and cared about one another as much. But that their connection to each other wouldn’t have been the same. Yes, they had their aunts, but ultimately, they only had each other. They grew with one another through that sadness, through looking at the world in this specific lense. They protected one another even more ferociously because they understood one another and they didn’t want the other to be hurt. Though they didn’t get along all the time, and maybe Sally didn’t agree with Gillian’s decisions, she still rushed off to help her sister get away from an abusive bastard without a second thought. That is the bond of sisters, especially their sisterhood.

Personally, I like Sally. Not that I hate Gillian or anything. I like Gillian—I think she’s worldly, she’s different, she isn’t afraid to be who she is. But I think she also has insecurities for her to constantly be with these same men who aren’t… let’s say, they aren’t the greatest. And she had to know that Jimmy Angelov wasn’t the best guy, so why even bother? But that’s because she has her own personal issues and doesn’t think that great of herself (trust me, I read her like a book, because I have been very similar most of my life). At least with this rewatch recently, I connected with Sally WAY more. Her and I have similar personalities—though, I’m fine with being different, I would prefer to have powers than pretend to be “normal.” She’s a lot more analytical and grounded and serious about things, like me, and tries to keep on a certain path. She loses her husband and falls apart (I haven’t had this, but I feel like I would react the same). I think her character arc/personal journey was more of my thing nowadays. She had to let go of controlling everything, that not everything was “normal” or had to be a certain way. She had to let go of some things, to let the universe take its course and she should just enjoy it along the way. That feels more like me.

The other characters were great too. I think the aunts, Frances and Bridget were polar opposites as well (do you see the pattern of two sisters, that are quite different from one another—think of Sally and Gillian, the aunts, even Sally’s daughters). But they balanced one another out, and that was why they worked so well together—which is the case with Sally and Gillian. Dianne West and Stockard Channing played the sisters so effortlessly. Goran Višnjić as Jimmy Angelov was both sexy and disturbing, but he did it so well (too well, honestly), and I personally think he’s a fantastic actor from other stuff I’ve seen him in (any Timeless fans here???). I liked Aidan Quinn as the detective, Gary, and a love interest for Sally. Their personalities worked so well. OH! I nearly forgot! Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman were PERFECT in this movie! I love them both so much, especially everything I see Sandra in, and they were these characters. Not playing them, they just were.

(Fun movie fact that I learned: in the scene where Sally, Gillian and the aunts get drunk? They were drunk filming! They wanted to make it feel more real, so they all started drinking and the director started filming it all. I think that was such a nice touch).

I will say, I didn’t love the whole exorcism thing in the movie. I get the point of it for the movie, and it is Hollywood guys, plus it did make the story more “exciting” in that climax. And though I do agree that there can be malevolent energies that linger, but I don’t personally believe that there are evil spirits that want to take over bodies. But that’s my own personal beliefs, so I can’t speak for everyone. I just didn’t care for that, but it made for some good aspects in that scene.

At the heart of this movie, it’s about love. Which, honestly, is what every story in this world, whether fictional or real life is about. It’s about the sisters’ love for one another, it’s about how they love out in the world. Sally had loved and lost, and has to learn to love again, including herself. Gillian has to learn that some of what she feels isn’t love, and that love is kinder to you than she had been treating herself/letting happen. And they both get through it all with their love for one another. My god, that scene where Sally talks to Gillian to come back to them during the exorcism is so powerful and heartbreaking, and I cried watching it. That these two sisters love one another so much that Sally wasn’t going to let Gillian let go and leave this world because everything hurt (physically and emotionally and mentally, I think could be said here). Sally was the only one who would get Gillian through that moment, because she had to go through the similar thing with her loss. Even all the women showing up to help with the exorcism is a form of love (though, I did wonder why some of these women suddenly were okay with coming and helping, but it must connect back to what I had said). This was love and women coming together to help each other, to support one another, which I think the world needs more of. And this movie reflected it.

I love the feeling I get from watching this movie. I love the house they live in (why couldn’t it be real?!). Every time I watch this movie, it makes me wish I had a sister of my own, because though I have close friends or a friend that grew up with me like a little sister, I have never had this connection like Sally and Gillian had. I’m an only child, so no siblings at all. And though I know it can’t be pretty all the time (from what I have seen with friends who have siblings, and even things that happen in this movie), I always wanted someone to have my side like these two, someone I share blood with, that has literally seen every side of me. It’s beautiful to watch in this movie, especially in that scene when Gillian shows up to Sally during her grief and they just talk all night. That exactly is what I had always wanted. So this movie makes me feel wistful too while watching it.

It’s really a beautiful movie, that shows the darkness of the world and people, while delighting us with the magic as well. The magic of the world, the magic of fantastical nature, and the magic of love. Because though you may not be able to make a spoon stir your tea for you, there is magic all around. You just have to look for it.

This movie is one that has become a favorite and has a special place in my heart. It’s just wonderful and awe-inspiring.

[thirstworldproblemss]

35 Questions Tag Game

I’m cheating: I was tagged to do 17 questions by @fromthedeskoftheraven and there’s a lot of overlap with the 30 questions that have been sitting in my drafts since I was tagged by @songsformonkeys several weeks ago, so instead of doing both or ditching one, I’m gonna do a mashup.

Thanks for thinking of me, friends! 🥰😘 (Sorry I’m bad at following directions!)

Rules:  answer 17 30 35 questions and tag 17 20 some blogs you want to get to know better

Name/Nickname:  I’m trying to keep my name off this blog for plausible deniability reasons (I have a young teenager who is out here in the wilds of the internet reading fanfic, and we'll both be happier if she and/or her fanfic-reading friends don’t find out for sure that I write smut fics just yet or... uh... ever.)  You can call me thirst or twp, I guess? (Or by my actual name in chats & msgs that aren't public ; )

Gender:  female (she/her)

Star sign:  Libra

Hogwarts house: Ravenclaw, probably?

Height:  5′ 5.5″ (approx 166cm). I always hoped I’d hit 5′6″, but at this point, that ship has sailed. I'm shrinking if anything

Time:  8:31am

Birthday:  mid October

Favorite bands: Beach Boys, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Nico & Vinz, REO Speedwagon & basically anything from the 80′s, Walk the Moon.  (My music tastes are eclectic, and there’s not a whole lot I don’t like.)

Favorite solo artists:  Matt Nathanson, Prince, Rihana, Taylor Swift (one of the few artists all of my girls & I can agree on) 

Song stuck in your head:  ‘Some Things Never Change’ from the Frozen 2 soundtrack (#momlife)

Last movie:  Kronk’s New Groove (#sameasabove)

Last show:  The Mandalorian 

When did I create this blog:  June 2020

What I post:  Mostly Pedro Pascal character gifs, fan art & fanfic.

Last thing I googled:  converting 65.5 inches to cm

Why I chose my url:  ‘Cause I like puns/wordplay and it... uh... seemed like a good idea at the time?

Other blogs:  Yep, several! Main is here, but don’t bother tagging me over there, 'cause I wont see if for like a month (if at all(

Do I get asks:  Some and I love them!!

Following:  991 (so yeah, tag or msg me if you want to make sure I see something)

Followers:  395 on this blog

Average hours of sleep:  My sleep schedule is shit and ranges from 2-12ish hours/night), so who tf even knows anymore. 

Lucky number:  not sure I have one... maybe 11?

Instruments Played:  Piano very poorly

What I’m wearing:  purple henley over a tank top and jeans

Dream job:  I dunno... zookeeper? librarian? studio artist? voice actor? author/artist of children’s picture books?  (I still haven’t decided what I want to be when I grow up)

Dream trip:  One of my cousins took a year off after college and spent the entire time traveling, visiting something like 40+ countries as he circumnavigated the globe, and that sounds pretty fantastic!  Otherwise, maybe something lazy and tropical where someone else manages all the planning and logistics (I am but a tired, stressed-out mom...  I just want to nap the day away until someone calls me for dinner). 

Favorite food:  Mexican (though that gets a little tricky now that I’m not eating dairy)

Nationality:  American

Favorite song(s):  This changes frequently, but current things on repeat are:  Van Horn by Saint Motel, Uncharted by Sara Bareilles, Holding Out for a Hero from Shrek 2, Oh What a Night by the Four Seasons, Downtown by Macklemore, Africa by Toto

Favorite author(s):  Jane Austen, Tolkien, Tamora Pierce, Steven King, Sandra Boynton, Dr Seuss, Shakespeare, Shel Silverstein, Simon R Green, Mercedes Lackey, Edgar Allan Poe, Terry Pratchett, Rumiko Takahashi, and so many others.

Last book:  Ahahahahaha... “real” books... in this economy?  Can I count the Boxcar Children Mystery I started the last time I forgot to take my phone with me to the bathroom? 😅  ...or Simplicity Parenting (reading it for a parent book group run by one of my kids’ teachers)?  These days, when I have time to read for fun, I’m all about fatnfic.

Top 3 fictional universes I wanna live in:  Star Trek tos, Dinotopia, Xanth

Aesthetics:  comfort, green plant life, water flowing (oceans, rivers, lakes), animals, overcast days, the sky, blue green, lots of soft pillows

Favorite animal noise:  cat purring

Random: Our heater is on the fritz, so it’s very cold in our house right now!

Zero pressure tagging (you can do 17, 30, or all 35 questions), and anyone else who wants to do this should consider themselves tagged & tag me when they do it!): @abuttoncalledsmalls @alwaysbethewest @anxiety-riddled-mando @frannyzooey @goldafterglow @heatherbel @immortalstarme @ithinkwehitametaphor @javiers-tac-vest @keeper0fthestars @knittingqueen13 @ladyblogger-margie @no-droids-on-sunday @remmyswritings

[letterboxd]

Drawing Closer.

Animation lovers: watchlists at the ready. From action capers to Irish folk tales, in 3DCG or the humble pencil, by manga legends and raucous newcomers, Letterboxd’s animation correspondent Kambole Campbell picks ten new feature films we’re excited to see.

When the gears of the live-action film industry ground to a near-halt earlier this year, animators were still at work. As a medium that, at its most fundamental level, is controlled fully by the imaginations of its creators, this might be the one element of the screen industry that has some kind of ability to operate throughout the pandemic.

Based on previews from this year’s online edition of the annual Annecy International Animation Film Festival, there’s a lot to look forward to that’s still in the works, even now. With everything from blockbuster capers and fantastical alternate histories, explorations of folklore and real human stories alike, we can expect a spoil of boundless and endlessly creative films limited only by the imaginations of those drawing them.

Here are ten animated features I’m specifically excited for, in no particular order (except for the first—fight me if you like, Masaaki Yuasa will always win).

Inu-Oh Directed by Masaaki Yuasa / Due to release in 2021

If there’s one new animated film to watch in the next year, make it Inu-Oh (but also, don’t limit yourself to one). Masaaki Yuasa has proven himself time and again to be one of the most exciting and versatile animation directors alive, as well as potentially the busiest. With his studio, Science Saru, this year alone he directed two television series—the fantastic ode to animators, Keep Your Hands off Eizouken!!, and the intense Netflix disaster series Japan Sinks: 2020—as well as the melancholy, romantic feature film Ride Your Wave.

Inu-Oh looks to be just as imaginative and wild as anything else Yuasa-san has made, based on the work-in-progress glimpse at Annecy. Set in fourteenth-century Japan, the film is based on Hideo Furukama’s novel about the legendary masked Noh theater performer Inu-Oh, born with “unique characteristics”, which lead them to cover their entire body. Both novel and film focus on their close friendship with the blind biwa hōshi (lute priest) Tomona, and the success they find together.

“We often think of history as moving in one straight line, but it actually branches off, and people and events in those branches have been forgotten or disappeared,” Yuasa-san said during the Annecy preview. Inu-Oh explores those hidden branches through an anachronistic reimagining of the roots of traditional Japanese entertainment. The main idea: what if the performers of Noh theater were treated like Japan’s pop idols of today? Yuasa-san described the main characters as “kind of like The Beatles” of 1300s Japan.

On credits alone there’s a lot of promise, with the legendary Taiyō Matsumoto— the mangaka who created Tekkonkinkreet and Ping Pong (and collaborated with Yuasa-san on the latter’s fantastic anime adaptation)—lending his eccentric yet elegant designs to the film. The preview opened with minute movements comprised of rough, wide almost painterly brushstrokes, an art style almost completely unlike anything Yuasa-san has done previously.

As it turns out, this is but one way of representing the world of Inu-Oh, through the perspective of Tomona, a Notes on Blindness-esque way of representing how Tomona perceives things. From those small glimpses, Inu-Oh looks to be a beautiful, anthropological piece built with both the same free-form style that characterizes the rest of his work, and perhaps something more classical as well.

Wolfwalkers Directed by Tomm Moore and Ross Stewart / Coming to theaters and Apple TV+ in late 2020 after a September 12 premiere at TIFF

Made and set in Kilkenny, home to the acclaimed animation studio Cartoon Saloon, the much-anticipated Wolfwalkers is inspired by animation’s past, Celtic legend, and the local area’s history. Set in 1650, Wolfwalkers takes place amidst attempts by the English (Cromwell, specifically) to pacify and tame Ireland. Representative of those wild elements the English are seeking to eradicate are the ‘wolfwalkers’—people blessed by Saint Patrick with the power to leave their bodies at night and become wolves during their sleep (Irish werewolves, essentially). The story follows an English girl, Robyn Goodfellowe (Honor Kneafsey), who moves to Ireland with her father Bill (Sean Bean), to help carry out Cromwell’s plan to kill the wolves.

Like his previous film, Song of the Sea (2014), co-director Tomm Moore says this new film is based upon a childhood story common amongst those living in Kilkenny. And like his previous films (including 2009’s The Secret of Kells), it looks to be a visual feast, with a mixture of dynamic camera styles, pre-viz work and hand-drawn animation for moments like its ‘wolf-vision’. Moore draws the ideological divide between the English and the Irish into every scratch of pencil, the occupied cities comprised of rigid lines and angular designs, while the forest and its inhabitants are more free-flowing and unkempt.

Moore cited the rough charcoal lines of Isao Takahata’s The Tale of the Princess Kaguya as one influence on the Cartoon Saloon animators’ approach; the way that Robin is drawn gradually changing along with her worldview. Cartoon Saloon is yet to make a bad film, and Wolfwalkers looks like it might be the company’s most beautiful myth yet.

Stay tuned to The Letterboxd Show for an interview with Tomm Moore.

Over The Moon Directed by Glen Keane / Due on Netflix, late 2020

The feature directorial debut of animation legend Glen Keane, early glimpses of Over The Moon look utterly bonkers. A long-time character animator for Disney, having worked on almost all of the studio’s animation output since Pete’s Dragon in 1977, Keane looks to be bringing his vast array of talents to his first feature film. The trailer alone shows off a vast blend of styles, from the 3DCG (three-dimensional computer graphics) and more realistic lighting that we’ve come to expect from Disney animation, as well as the more textured, hand-drawn work the director cut his teeth on.

The story itself sounds wild, though it starts out simple enough: Fei Fei (Cathy Ang) is enraptured by her parents’ stories of a goddess living on the moon. After her mother passes away, Fei Fei begins to believe the story is true, and decides to build a rocket to get there. There’s also a hint of something living there. Whatever the answer is, I’m curious to see it, and with a star-studded cast that includes the likes of John Cho and Sandra Oh, how could I turn it down?

Lupin III: The First Directed by Takashi Yamazaki / Released in select territories; wider release due late 2020

Takashi Yamazaki’s Lupin III: The First, the first 3DCG-animated Lupin III feature film, looks rather incredible. It’s the latest in a vast, 50-year history of anime based on the manga from the late Kazuhiko Katō (known by the pen name Monkey Punch). Despite that long history, the Lupin III franchise has always managed to resist being made obsolete; part of its ongoing appeal is its ability to continuously adapt to new contexts and styles while retaining its simple charms, and The First is no different.

The film announces itself in the same way as ever, the iconic ‘Lupin III’ theme blaring over a flashy title sequence that builds off familiar iconography, as well as moments from the franchise’s history. It revels in the style of old-school caper the show continues to embrace, taking delight in the exploits of a modern-day gentleman thief who announces his robberies with calling cards.

Even with the new and unfamiliar animation style, Lupin III: The First feels like a classic Lupin III tale, taking the story back to the 1960s (the decade during which the character was created), and even putting its main character back in his classic red suit. Each character design translates surprisingly well to this mode of animation—Lupin’s gangly frame, as well as the unique appearances of his compatriots Goemon, Fujiko, Zenigata and Jigen (who looks bizarrely attractive in this—although, to be fair, “everyone in this movie is f—king sexy” according to Letterboxd member London. Accurate).

Yamazaki does well to avoid the often sterile feeling of 3DCG animation by having these characters all move like the cartoons they’re based on (for starters, a long-running visual gag of Lupin leaping straight out of his clothes). It might take some adjustment (which for me, only really lasted up to the opening credits) before it becomes fully dazzling. Lupin III: The First might be the most exciting action caper of 2020, in any medium.

The Legend of Hei Directed by Mtjj / Released in China late 2019; international release TBA

Rivalling Lupin III: The First for most flamboyant animation on show at Annecy was The Legend of Hei, a feature-length prequel to the Flash web cartoon The Legend of Luo Xiaohei by Chinese artist Mtjj (real name Zhang Ping).

The series tells the story of the spirit Luo Xiaohei, who takes the appearance of a small black cat before being adopted by a young girl. The film’s story focuses more squarely on the cat, Xiaohei, who transforms into a man and goes on to live in the forest, his carefree existence soon interrupted by the discovery that humans are beginning to encroach on that territory as their cities expand, and technological progress puts the two worlds increasingly at odds.

As the film explores more of Xiaohei’s origins, the thick, clean line-work and cute art style disguises a much grander, epic conflict at play, realized in some wildly animated fight scenes. (“Starts off small and adorable, then expands into an epic conflict on an Akira scale,” writes Tasha Robinson.) The 2D-animated film allegedly took five years to produce, Mtjj saying in an interview that the complete film, at 100 minutes, required more than 70,000 drawings—or around twelve per second.

With its gentle score and clash of the spiritual world with the modern, the environmentally conscious work of Studio Ghibli comes to mind, as does the Nickelodeon series Avatar: The Last Airbender (perhaps the most popular consideration of East Asian spirituality in the West, especially with its resurgence of popularity thanks to Netflix). The Legend of Hei enjoyed an extremely lucrative run in China in late 2019 thanks to the original cartoon’s sizeable fanbase at home. No news yet on who will pick the film up in the West.

ON-GAKU: Our Sound Directed by Kenji Iwaisawa / Expected to release late 2020

Rotoscoped by hand over a period of seven years, the independently produced anime ON-GAKU: Our Sound has a rather appropriate match of creator and subject: a film about amateur musicians made by amateur animators.

Director Kenji Iwaisawa adapted the film from Hiroyuki Ohashi’s cult manga, and there’s a charm to the rudimentary style of its art, the plain faces of its characters resembling the designs of something like ONE’s Mob Psycho 100, while also matching that show’s deadpan, oddball sense of humor. The laid-back voice acting only adds to that effect, as main character Kenji and his cohort’s obvious excitement flattened into a consistently amusing monotone.

It’s not quite a classic tale of underdog artistry, as the group never really gets better, but the film embraces the primordial noise that emerges whenever they pick up an instrument. Iwaisawa takes the characters seriously, showing their raucous and unconventional performances with complete sincerity. “Loved the deadpan humor and appreciated the message about how art can act as an impetus for positive change in our lives,” writes Dan.

Passion, companionship and collaboration is what’s most important to Our Sound. It’s a deeply weird film, but one filled with great ambition and visual wonder, increasing in boldness as it goes. The different styles of coloring and expression that emerge beyond its initial palettes are radical enough to catch anyone off guard.

Connected Directed by Michael Rianda / Releasing in most territories in October 2020 (October 23 in the US)

Connected is the next step for Sony Animation as it moves in an exciting new direction (the studio recently stated that it would be green-lighting more animation aimed at adults). Produced by Phil Lord and Chris Miller, off the back of their immensely popular film Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse, Connected is imbued with the same kind of idiosyncrasy and innovation that made Spider-Verse a mega-hit.

From first-time feature director Michael Rianda, best known for his work on TV’s Gravity Falls, Connected is a family-road-trip-AI-apocalypse movie, based on the bizarre chemistry of Rianda’s own family. Formerly known as The Mitchells vs The Machines, the film looks at the push and pull between technology and human relationships, and how different generations respond to the ongoing changes in how we interact online and personally.

While this isn’t animated “on twos” (where each frame of character animation holds for two frames of background movement) as Spider-Verse often was, Connected also attempts to maintain a ‘drawn’ quality in its art. Characters move fluidly, but with clear outlines drawn from simple shapes. There’s also a strong contrast between the lived-in detail of human habitats versus the stark minimalism of the domain of the robots.

Thankfully the clips from the film don’t look nearly as finger-wavy and luddite as the trailers might suggest. (They appear to take the Boomer point of view that technology unequivocally ruins everything, but we know it’s more complicated than “screens bad”). In any case, it looks like the beginning of an interesting run for Sony Animation, and I’m keen to see how it turns out.

The Summit of the Gods (Le Sommet des Dieux) Directed by Patrick Imbert / Due to release 2021

Le Sommet des Dieux distinguishes itself in this list by being the one most firmly grounded in reality, but it’s by no means less wondrous. Based on Jirô Taniguchi’s five-volume manga Le Sommet des Dieux—itself based on the 1998 novel by Baku Yumemakura—the story starts with the question of whether George Mallory died going up or coming down the summit of Mount Everest on June 8, 1924. 70 years later, Fukamachi, a young Japanese reporter, stumbles across a camera potentially belonging to Mallory, and embarks on an adventure of his own with his friend Hasu Joji.

In close collaboration with the mangaka Taniguchi-san, who passed away during development, director Patrick Imbert seeks to replicate his art style, which was more aligned with that of European comics than traditional manga, with less exaggerated and highly detailed line-work. The team also looked outward from Taniguchi-san’s art, to the character designs of works such as Hiroyuki Okiura’s Jin-Roh: The Wolf Brigade, as well as his 2011 film A Letter To Momo, and the films of the late, great Satoshi Kon.

From what I saw at Annecy, there’s something of a mix between what Imbert calls the “documented detail” of Taniguchi-san’s work and simpler design for the larger urban spaces. To accomplish this, the studio draws its traditional 2D using modern techniques, such as “movie-style” framing—locations and interiors created in 3D software and then overpainted for detail, identity and authenticity.

The Summit of the Gods also seeks to recapture the detailed and subtle realism of Yumemakura-san’s depiction of George Mallory, with low-key voice performances conducted in shared sessions; recording movements and hiring a boom operator to make the sound more akin to live action, perhaps even more natural. Though production has already been long, the studio had thankfully pre-empted the long delays of Covid-19, so let’s hope we get to see the film with our own eyes, soon.

Sirocco and the Kingdom of the Winds Directed by Benoît Chieux / Scheduled for 2022

An original fable from animation director Benoît Chieux, Sirocco and the Kingdom of the Winds is still very much in the midst of production, with an expected release in 2022. It looks captivating; a surreal tale set in an imaginary kingdom with delicate and clearly defined artwork, about a being named Sirocco, a despised figure with the power to control the wind, who is forced into solitude by the denizens of this world.

The dream kingdom resembles a Spirited Away-esque land, with its own hierarchy and bizarre set of rules, mundanity mixed in with visual wonder. Flying crocodiles, living houses and strange humanoids populate it, and the main characters, a pair of girls named Carmen and Juliette, turn into cats themselves. All are drawn with wavy lines, soft colours and fluid movement, the surreal presented with an inviting rather than foreboding air.

Evangelion 3.0 + 1.0 Directed by Hideaki Anno and others / 2020 release delayed; keep an eye on the official Twitter account for a new date

Hideaki Anno is set to bring his earth-shaking Neon Genesis Evangelion franchise to a close, again, with the fourth instalment of his ‘Rebuild’ series of films, Evangelion 3.0 + 1.0. Delayed for almost a decade now (the previous instalment came out in 2012!), and delayed again by Covid-19, the film looks to close out a grand rewriting of the original series that shot Anno-san and former studio Gainax to fame—“Bye Bye, All of Evangelion” the tagline reads. But we’re gonna have to wait a while longer to bid this final farewell.

Made with co-director Kazuya Tsurumaki (who has served as director with Anno-san since the original series), the first ‘Rebuild’ film, Evangelion: 1.0 You Are (Not) Alone, seemed to be a fairly conventional remake, updating the visuals and score with more modern techniques. The story starts the same: the isolated, depressed and self-loathing teenager Shinji Ikari is forced by his absentee father to help fight the mysterious, giant, alien ‘Angels’ by getting in an equally mysterious big robot called an Evangelion (“Eva” for short). He finds no self-fulfilment in this, and if anything, the close contact with other people only seems to push him further into himself. So far, so familiar.

However, the second film, Evangelion: 2.0 You Can (Not) Advance, veered completely off the rails in the best way possible, destroying audience preconceptions. The line between sequel and remake was fascinatingly blurred, and only continued to get weirder with Evangelion: 3.0 You Can (Not) Redo, as the story landed in completely unfamiliar territory, altering its characters beyond recognition while adding entirely new characters in the process. It’s now almost impossible to predict what 3.0 + 1.0 will be. The only footage available so far was a wild ten-minute clip in which the Eiffel Tower is wielded as a weapon by an Eva. We were this close.

Ayumu Watanabe’s ‘Children of the Sea’ (2019).

There are almost too many gifts, even just from Annecy alone, to describe at length. A couple more worth mentioning: Anja Daiman’s musical comedy The Island looks fascinating for its reclamation of the colonialist story of Robinson Crusoe; and Yuta Murano’s first anime feature Our Seven-Day War promises plenty of plot twists amidst the actions of rebellious youth. A range of beguiling short films were also on display—a selection helpfully compiled here by Letterboxd member Iknow.

Outside of Annecy, other films are finally arriving, virtually or otherwise—such as Gints Zilbalodis’s peculiar and quiet Away, and Ayumu Watanabe’s beautiful and surreal Children of the Sea (with music from none other than Joe Hisaishi!). Though not all animation is comfort food by default—it is simply a medium, after all—it’s reassuring knowing that animated films are able to continue, in some form, through the pandemic.

Related content

Maxine the Movie Person’s excellent animation list

The 100 Highest Rated Animated Films of the 2010s according to our members

Revchu’s lists of the Top 100 Japanese Animated Films on Letterboxd, and the Top 100 Best-Rated Japanese Animated Films from the Anime News Network

Kambole’s selections in a Letterboxd list

Follow Kambole on Letterboxd

[jamiebluewind]

A Flame In The Dark: Chapter 2

Fandom: Dimension 20, Fantasy High

Word Count: 3575

Perspective: Riz

Chapter 1 (sorry it wont format!): https://jamiebluewind.tumblr.com/post/189152152044/a-flame-in-the-dark-chapter-1

Notes: Hurt/Comfort. This chapter is much fluffier than the last, but still mind the tags! Special thanks to my beta readers @plutosfury and @winterpower98

Characters: Riz Gukgak, Fig Faeth, Adaine Abernant, Tracker O'Shaughnessey, Sandra Lynn Faeth, Cathilda Ceíli, Boggy the Froggy, and unnamed OC (implied Fabian, Kristen, Gorgug, and Ragh)

Chapter Warnings: cursing, violence mention, murder mention, abuse mention, healed injuries, child abuse mention, child neglect, recovering from starvation, dark themes, trauma, bugs as food (please message me if I missed any)

Summary: The group makes it back to camp, Riz still cradling their guest.

*****

Check out this awesome art inspired by Chapter 1!

https://jamiebluewind.tumblr.com/post/189168730249/winterpower98-drew-some-doodles-of-the-little

https://plutosfury.tumblr.com/post/189155204080/i-was-told-by-a-certain-someone-cough

*****

By the time they reached camp, Riz's arms were aching. He was never the strongest one in the group and the sleeping child in his arms had tested what little strength he did have. It wasn't a weight thing. She was actually very light (if he was honest, she probably weighed less than his briefcase). It was just a combination of things. Post battle fatigue. Hiking for a couple hours. Tired muscles holding something in an odd position. It was worth it though. She looked like she hadn't slept in a long time and needed a nap more than he needed arms that didn't hate him.

He had actually been planning on getting her some food out of his pack after she was healed. She would be hungry then and the food would be less likely to come back up. What he hadn't planned on was her dozing off in his arms. He wondered what had been going on in her little body that Fig's magic had targeted. Whatever it was, the relief she felt was enough to make her fall asleep so hard that she was dead to the world. It took both arms to carry her after that.

He shifted, leaning his body back so that more of her weight was on his chest, and held her awkwardly for a moment while he placed his now free hand on a nearby rock to help him sit down. Normally he would try to find something to sit on to keep from messing up his clothes, but he was tired and filthy and out of fucks. He let out a breath, his throbbing feet grateful for the relief. He shifted the child a bit to give his arms a break too. She didn't seem to mind... or even wiggle for that matter. Riz got a little chuckle out of it.

The others were off getting everything set up for the night. Tracker was preping the moon haven. The campfire crackled to life as they got out various supplies. Quiet chatter filled the air.

Adaine stood nearby, leaning against a tree. She was quiet, only occasionally adding to the chatter or shaking her head at their friends' antics. The spell she'd been working on for most of the hike was probably ready, but left uncast. Riz smiled. She was probably holding it until the child woke up. She had always been the braincell of the group. He wasn't sure why he was surprised.

Riz wasn't sure how long he had been lost in thought when the smell of food cooking hit him. He felt her twitch and looked down to see a little nose twitch, followed by sleepy eyes blinking open. There was a tiny jump as she took in her surroundings and her brain caught up with what was going on.

[Good morning], Riz said with a smile. She looked up at him with her eyes barely open and yawned. [You up for something to eat?]

Any hint that she was tired was gone in an instant. Her ears perked up and she looked at him with wide eyes. She looked so much like a puppy at meal time that Riz was surprised that she didn't start pawing at his shirt! [You can't have a lot at one time], he told her. Her brows lowered as she gave him an angry pout. [BUT, I'll make sure you get a lot of small meals to keep from overloading your stomach and you can have as much to drink as you want.] After a moment of deliberation, her faced relaxed. He supposed that was as close as he was gonna get to her agreeing with him.

Riz looked towards the campfire and the food cooking over it. It smelled good sure, but a little too heavy and vegetable filled for a goblin who's gone without food for a while. At least he knew how to get her what she needed.

"Hey Adaine," he called out. The elf looked away from the group and over towards Riz. "Could you come over here real quick?"

Adaine leaned up, wiping invisible dust off her legs before she made her way over towards the pair. She slowed as she approached, making eye contact with the child. Oops. He almost forgot. [This is 'Adaine'], Riz told the child. [I need her to come over here. Is that okay?]

The child looked at Adaine and then back at Riz. She watched Adaine as she carefully made her way over and sat down across from them. The child didn't seem to mind Adaine's presence. She looked more curious than anything. Riz wondered if it was a magical ability from Boggy or Adaine herself.

"I have a spell ready for her," Adaine said. She looked at the child as she spoke to Riz, her voice a steady calming tone. "I'll need to use it before I can do anything else. It will allow her to understand us, but only for an hour. I have to touch her for it to work."

Riz nodded and looked down. He rolled the words over in his brain, trying to figure out the best way to phrase it. ['Adaine' can... make you understand what everybody is saying for a little while if you let her touch you. It's kinda like what 'Fig' did, only 'Adaine' doesn't need music to make it work.]

The child was still a moment as she regarded Adaine. Then, she reached out a hand. Adaine slowly reached out, closing the distance. As she touched the small hand, her eyes shone with a blue light. It only lated a moment. The child examined her hand and looked back up at Adaine.

"Hello," Adaine said with a soft smile. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

The child's eyes grew wide as she stared at Adaine. She blinked several times.

"My name is Adaine Abernant," she said to the child. Riz wanted to laugh at how formal she sounded. "I would like to be your friend, if you'll let me of course." The child only responded with more blinking.

"I want to try something," Adaine continued, "just to be sure that you can understand me. I don't want you to feel obligated to talk. You should feel comfortable around us. So all you have to do is nod," she said as she nodded, "or shake your head," she said, demonstrating. "A nod means yes. A head shake means no. Do you understand?" There was a pause followed by a single curt nod. There was a reason that Adaine was the braines of the party. "Fantastic," she said with a smile.

"Now," Adaine said, turning her attention towards Riz, "I understand that there was something you wanted to ask me?"

Riz had almost let it slip his mind. "We need to get some fluids in her," he said. "Some food too. Could you get her some of that electrolyte stuff for kids to start?"

Adaine nodded and reached in her pocket. She pulled out a plain water bottle filled with slightly thick liquid and handed it to the child. The child tilted her head and reached out, sticking her hand in Adaine's pocket only to jerk a bit and lean over farther, speading the pocket open to look inside. Adaine hid a laugh behind her hand.

"It's a magical jacket," Adaine told her. "I can pull things I want out of it... as long as they aren't too expensive." Adaine blinked and looked like she had an idea. "I'll pull out a few things for you if you let me get you cleaned up first."

The child considered for a moment and then nodded. Adaine cast prestidigatation. Riz was thankful that he was in range.

The child's hair seemed to expand as the weight of the mud was lifted.  Her tangle of curls were redish-orange at the base, but transitioned into a pale orange at the end. It was like she was suddenly haloed by a mass of warm flame.

The color of her skin was also a surprise. Before, she had reminded him of a caramel latte, but underneath the dirt and grime was something closer to butterscotch. It was a warm yellow-orange that complemented her bright hair.

The child held up a hand to examine her clean skin. Riz cursed himself for being too perceptive. Without the dirt in the way, he could see scars litterered across her skin. Some were faded and small. Others looked like they must have been deep when they were fresh. He felt the rage trying to bubble up in him again as he silently wished that he had taken his time killing that bastard. Breathe in. And out. Just be grateful he's dead now. And in hell. Definitely in hell... where Bill Seacaster is. Huh. Maybe Fabian's dad would be willing to double murder him? The thought helped him relax a little.

"Much better," Adaine said with a nod. "I'll get you some better clothes after you've had something to eat. Oh Riz?" she asked.

"Hum?" Riz answered, still a bit lost in thought.

"What would be safe for her to eat?" Adaine asked. "I'm honestly unfamiliar with goblin dietary needs and you always seem willing to eat anything, so I'm at a bit of a loss."

Riz thought back to all the times he was sick as a kid. What food his mom would fix. What to avoid. "Probably meat with no salt and not a lot of fat," he said. "Chicken. Ham. That kind of thing. Maybe some rice... oh!" he said and then blushed. This was gonna be a little embarrassing to explain. "A lot of goblin moms make this dish when their kids get sick. It's... kinda like a rice ball?" He screwed his face. "No. Not exactly. But similar enough I guess. It is a ball of rice. Sometimes the rice is mixed with cricket flour, but not always. They also have this... bug filling. Like a puree of earthworms, crickets, meal worms... it's easy on our stomachs and has a lot of protein. Plants too, but they have already been broken down, so they wont bother us when we have a sick stomach. We... call them bug balls."

Riz stopped and looked up at Adaine. He expected to see her wrinkling her nose as most people do, but she looked more curious than anything. She thought for a moment before reaching her hand in her pocket and pulled out what looked to be three bug balls. She looked over at the child, about to say something when a little hand bolted out and grabbed one. It was gone in a flash. "I was going to say that maybe Riz should test these first," she said, covering up the remaining two to avoid them being snatched up as well, "but I guess you made that decision for me." She shook her head, unable to hide her smile. "Riz?" she asked, holding out one of the remaining balls, "Would you mind?"

Riz took the bug ball and bit down. It was hard not to inhale his food like he normally did, but he needed to make sure they were made right. "Not bad," he said as he ate the rest in a blink of an eye. "Maybe a little less salt? At least until she's feeling better." He looked down at the kid eyeing the remaining ball. "You can have the other one later," he told her. She pouted. "We gotta make sure your stomach handles the first one okay." He picked up the sports bottle and handed it to her, "For now, have some of this."

She looked at the bottle and tilted her head. Riz fought the urge to facepalm when he realized she wouldn't know what to do with it. "Like this," Riz said as he pulled a drink from the bottle and then handed it to her. She examined the bottle, took a drink,... and then made a terrible face, shaking her head at the bottle.

Adaine laughed. "I don't believe she's used to sweets," she said, pulling another water bottle out of her pocket. "This one," she said, pointing to the new bottle, "is just plain water. I'll refill it as much as you like, but I would also like you to finish the other bottle... if you can."

The child hesitantly took the new bottle and took a sip before nearly sucking it dry, squeezing the bottle to make the water come out faster. Adaine pulled a large container of water out of her pocket and refilled the bottle before handing it back to her.

"Could I share some tea with her later?" Adaine asked. Amber eyes looked at her, waiting on an explanation. "Oh! Hum..." she said, pausing to think. "Tea is like... well... you take hot water and mix special flowers or leaves with it to make it taste different." The child's brows furrowed at this. "It can also do stuff like... help you sleep or keep you awake. It depends on the flower or leaf." A nod followed.

"I don't see why not," Riz answered. "Just... maybe avoid the sugar."

A cheeky grin spread across Adaine's face. "I was planning on her actually drinking it, Riz," she said with a smirk.

The child handed Adaine the empty water bottle. She refilled it again and handed it back. The child put it back to her mouth and lazily sucked at the bottle, her desperation mostly gone.

Adaine looked at the child, studying something for a few moments before reaching into her coat. She pulled out a handfull of solid colored cloth and held it up for inspection. It was a simple sleeveless sundress. Instead of the fiery color Riz was expecting it to be, the dress was closer to a cornflower blue mixed with a splash of green. It looked soft, contrasting the rough burlap tunic she was currently wearing. The bottom hung losely, reminding Riz of a flower petal. There was a decent sized half moon pocket in the center of the chest, stitching dividing it into two smaller sections.

"Well?" Adaine asked, looking from the dress to the child. "What do you think?" Adaine was met with wide eyes and an enthusiastic nod. "Well then, let's get you out of those rags and into something fancy!"

The child stood up and took off her borrowed hat, placing it gently on Riz's lap. She grabbed the bottom of her tunic and Riz barely had time to look away before she pulled it off.

He realized then that the others had been watching the three of them as the group of teens made little sounds of surprise before turning their heads, save Fig who just said "huh." which he found a little weird. The adults mostly seemed to get a laugh out of it.

There was a beat of silence. "Oh..." Adaine said. "Hum, well. Oh Riz?" Adaine sounded nervous. "Do um... do goblins normally have tails?"

"Um... no?" Riz answered, a little confused. "I mean, it's a recessive trait. It CAN happen, but it's kinda rare. It's usually just a nub though. Why?" Riz asked. "Does she have one?"

"Yes..." Adaine answered, trailing off. "It's a very nice tail," she said sweetly, probably to the child. "Arms up please!"

"Dude," Fig said. She had moved closer and seemed to be staring at the child. "It aint a nub. It's long enough for her to wear it like a belt!" Riz's eyes went wide. I mean, sure it was possible. There were a few tribes scattered about that had them. He had just never seen one in person.

"Dude... you look so cool!" Fig said enthusiastically. "I hope if I ever grow a tail, it looks as cool as yours. You should leave it out. Show it off."

"Is it safe for me to look now?" Riz asked, still facing away.

"Oh!" Adaine answered. "Sorry Riz. Yes. You can look now."

Riz turned around and looked at the child. The dress fit her well, the bottom hanging lose and moving as she twisted softly side to side. Her hands were stuffed in pockets hidden in the folds of the dress, her shoulders hunched forward. The dress hung past her knees. A slinder tail hung down past the end of the dress, curling up to avoid the ground. The tail twitched slightly, maybe from anxiety over having it exposed, maybe just because of nerves in general. Riz tried not to imagine why she would feel the need to hide it under her clothes. He failed.

"You look great!" Riz said with a bit too much enthusiasm. "I like all the pockets. And it looks soft." She smiled just a crack and nodded as she continued to sway and watch the dress move.

"It cool," Fig said, tapping her chin, "but it could be cooler." She pulled out her bag and started digging for... something. Amber eyes watched her as she pulled out random jewelry, shaking her head and muttering to herself as she went. "Ah ha!" she said as she came up triumphant. She held up a necklace with a long dark chain. Hanging below it was an orange teardrop pendant, sparkling in the light. "Bought this back on Leviathan," she stated as she looked towards the child. "It was practically MADE for you. You want?"

The child paused before responding with an enthusiastic nod. Fig walked over and crouched down before handing over the necklace. The child held it up, examining the stone. Fig stayed crouched as she looked, waiting until amber eyes met hers. "You're supposed to wear it," Fig said pointing at the necklace. She was answered with a curious gaze as the child's head tilted to the side.

"Here," Fig said "I'll show you." She took the necklace from tiny hands and put it over the child's head. Despite the long chain, it couldn't get past her massive tangle of hair. It just sat there on top of her curls like a hair accessory. "Holy shit you have a lot of hair!" Fig said with a laugh. She reached out and tossled it a bit with her fingers. The child didn't seem to mind.

"Well," Fig said, patting her thigh, "that didn't work. Let me just..." Fig trailed off as she undid the clasp and put the chain around the child's neck before fastening it back together. "There we go!" she said, once again triumphant. "Looks great on ya kid."

Fig wasn't lying. The fiery stone suited her. She also seemed to love the way the light shined through it and the smooth texture.

While watching her, he caught Adaine fumbling for something out if the corner of his eye. He looked over just in time to see her pull out a large sunhat. "I noticed that the light seems to bother your eyes," she said. "Would this help?"

Tiny hands took the hat and examined it before nodding and placing it on her head. The hair inside the hat squished down to fit, making the hair outside the hat stick out. She adjusted the rim a bit and sighed happily. She nodded at Adaine again. Adaine smiled back.

"Would you like to meet Boggy?" Adaine asked. The child tilted her head. Adaine took out her frog and placed him in the child's lap. He let out a soft ribbit.

"No no no no no..." Riz yelped as he jumped up to place his hand between Boggy and the child's open mouth. "Boggy is not food," Riz clarified. He tried to ignore Adaine's eyes going wide over her pet nearly becoming someone's dinner. "He's a pet." She tilted her head. "Oh, um..." he took a moment to try and think of a way to explain. "A pet is... an animal that you... love? Love. Yeah. And um... they are like a friend. They help you out like... well Boggy helps Adaine not get upset and Baxter," he said, pointing to the griffin, "he can fly and stuff." God he was bad at this.

Somehow, she seemed to get the message. She put her hand on top of the frog. He croaked happily. She looked over at Riz and back at Boggy, the corners of her mouth tilted up slightly. She then started 'petting' the frog. At least, that's what Riz thought she was doing as she repeatedly slapped the frog's back. Boggy didn't seem to mind the rough treatment though, his body squishing and wiggling with the movement. Her eyes sparkled. A little sound escaped from her. It was rough and quiet, but it was without a doubt a giggle. Riz wondered if it was possible to die from cute.

The child stoped in the middle of a 'pet' and scrunched her face in concentration before going back to abusing Boggy. Sandra Lynn and Cathilda hummed in the background like they knew something the others didn't. "Did you remember to put her in pull ups?" Sandra Lynn asked.

"Um... no?" Adaine answered back, a bit confused. Riz however had already connected the dots.

"Well then," Cathilda said, "it's a good thing ya have prestidigatation dear because otherwise that would be a proper mess!"

They looked down at the muddy spot forming on the ground, quickly followed by a very distinct smell.

"Welcome to potty training kids!" Sandra Lynn yelled. She was enjoying this entirely too much.

*****

[msbeccieboo]

Arrow 8x03 Brain Dump

ASDADGHSADFSAF!! Back on form this week, with more returning guests, massive sibling feels and concentration on characters that we love, AND THE COLLISION OF FUTURE AND PRESENT TIMELINES IN THAT EPIC ENDINGGGG!!!!!!!!! YAAAASSSS!!! I’m still spiralling now!!!

Oliver and Thea

Welcome back Thea Queen!! Oliver had missed his Speedy 😍

So following on from last week, Oliver travelled to Nanda Parbat (which looked suspiciously like Lian Yu...the S8 Budget was clearly too used up on guest stars to recreate the outdoor Nanda Parbat scenery we saw in S3 😂), where he hoped to find some answers about The Monitor. I’m not actually sure if he intended on visiting Thea, or if her appearance was just a happy coincidence! But either way he was able to tell her about Mia and show her the picture of his new little family GAJKFSDGHFHDSGFS!!!

Source: oliverxfelicity

More below the cut...

In a shock move for Oliver Queen, he is open and honest with Thea straight away about his prophesied and imminent death. Thea wasn’t buying it, and Oliver even made a little sarcastic comment to “take as much time as you like to be upset” 😂😂 I’ve seen a few people say that they wanted to see more emotion from Thea here, and in later scenes. My take is that Thea/Willa’s nonchalant air is just classic Thea Queen Swagger™, but did feel like Willa maybe wasn’t really all that present in all of the scenes (mainly the LoA stuff though really). I however loved her total chill at the prospect of Oliver dying...not dissimilar to us...we know what's what! Our boy will be okay in the end!

Oliver seeks out Talia Al Ghul to use the Leagues archives (?) to find out more about The Monitor, because she owes him one. I love the idea of Oliver collecting his debts for once...this could fill the rest of the season to be honest; he’s racked up rather a few favours over the years. Talia’s help comes in the form of an Indiana Jones-esque scavenger hunt to uncover an ancient League book, and some special Demon’s head sword (?), with interruptions by the pesky Thanatos Guild from last season, who Thea is at war with. Honestly, plot-wise, I struggled a bit this week; even on rewatch I found it hard to concentrate😂 . I just zoned in on the character moments to get me through. But luckily, there were lots of those! 

One such beautiful character moment with the Queen siblings was on the side of a mountain, and reminded me a little bit of the Will/Mia scene up the Glades wall back in 7x16, I think? Oliver getting all emotional about missing his family and doubting his decisions every single day just punched me right in the feels 😭😭

Source: feilcityqueen

Then his explanation for trying to find answers before the Crisis: “My sacrifice, my death will protect the people I love. I need my family to be safe.” MURDERER!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Thea reassures him with some sage Queen family words, that their parents also made some questionable choices regarding them (that’s putting it lightly), but it ultimately made them heroes because of them. I think this scene was one of my favourites this episode, if not the season so far. Love me some Queen siblings 💗

The upshot of this random adventure with Talia was that Oliver read that the upcoming Crisis will actually be caused by The Monitor (dun dun DUUUNNN!!), complete with a lovely drawing of him 😂😂 But what Oliver doesn’t know, cos The Monitor doesn’t tell him anything is that there is also an Anti-Monitor, who will be the big bad of Crisis...so this may be a bit of a red herring for now!

Oliver ends his time in Nanda Parbat by saying one final (in his mind) goodbye to Thea, which actually made me sob like a baby out of nowhere, and has done every time I’ve rewatched the clip haha! Thea didn’t see it as a goodbye (cos Oliver dying? Pass!), but Oliver just cracks and won’t let go of her, and now I’m tearing up again 😭😭😭

Source: smoakmonster

I think by the way the goodbye scene played out that that will be the last we see of Thea, and ugh it’s such a shame because she has always brought out something special in Oliver, but we know she’ll be with him the whole time...😭😭😭

Stray thoughts:

They had Thea acknowledge Moira as her namesake (still think it’s a stretch, Moira-Mia? No.) but also had a callback to Thea’s Corto Maltese alias, which made me lol, and frankly, I find a better reference 😂

“All beings burn but a Phoenix rises from the ashes”. The Phoenix references this week were as subtle as a sledgehammer...Oliver is the Phoenix, and he will rise from the ashes following his death!

The Guild calling Oliver and Speedy ‘outsiders’ 🙄🙄 Oliver was Ras al Ghul and Thea is heir to the demon; get your facts right, biatch!!

Thea was a total badass this week, taking down Talia was sooo cool, and shows how far she has come as a fighter/hero.

Nice drop-in that Felicity gave the hozen to William!

Thea and Talia joining forces to raise a female ‘League of Heroes’; better than any faux-feminist Canary bullshit!!

The guest stars are fantastic, but their novelty and distraction is wearing off...I MISS FELICITY SMOAK 😫😫 Next week should hopefully tide us over, though!!

Dyla

Dyla had their own little adventure this week, that  echoed their suicide squad mission in Season 2. Bronze Tiger killed a bad guy whilst working for Lyla, and in revenge, that bad guy’s son kidnaps Sandra and little Connor Hawke, then also tries to kill Lyla, but obviously she’s a total badass so that doesn’t happen! Anyway, all’s well that ends well and Dig rescues Connor and his Mum, and that’s about all I can remember plot-wise 😂😂

What we got character-wise, though was really cool! We got the first hint of JJ’s story of being 'neglected' by Dyla...with Dig and Lyla being increasingly away on missions and unable to call him, and in turn finding Connor and obviously starting to fall in love with him because he is the softest little bean 😍 When ickle Connor said “thank you Mr Diggles” I was a goner 😂😂

We saw Dig having a crisis of faith (pun intended) after seeing Earth 2 disintegrate before him, but ultimately he realises (after some Lyla wisdom) that they just have to hold on to each other and do their best. Lyla made a few comments and pulled some ‘I’m keeping secrets’ faces, asking Dig to remember the good times no matter what happens, and I need to know what Lyla knows dammit!! I still believe that she is on the good side, and her appearing to double-cross Dig and Oliver with The Monitor last week is a little bit of a red herring. I need to believe, ok!!!

Flash-forwards

Plot-wise, I actually think the flash-forwards were the strongest storyline this week. Following on from last week we had the team rushing back to the bunker to check on William, after JJ threatened him. This scene brought us another “frack” from Mia 😍, and a mention of Felicity as “Mom” from William 😭, as he managed to electrocute the bad guys all by himself! Will being a techy little badass is a forever mood and is yet another reminder of our Felicity. She is never really gone.

With the Deathstrokes now targeting William and other members of the Star City Unification Movement (SCUM, really?? LOL), William offers himself up as bait. As Oliver’s daughter, you can imagine how that went down with Mia. Badly. Big nope from Mia, who decides on a more direct approach of going to their HQ and kicking all of the ass 😂. Zoe is very much against this, but Mia is all “I know best, we’ll just storm in and take them all out myself” (S1 Oliver anyone?). Said storming in leads to this absolute beauty of a moment:

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!

Prior to kicking all of the asses, Mia and William have a heart-to-heart, with Will still angry at Mia for not trusting him to go into dangerous situations. Will thinks it’s because he’s not a fighter, but Mia comes back with “it’s because you’re my brother” 😭 😭 😭

Source: olicitygifs

In another Felicity-worthy pep-talk, William tells Mia that operating out of fear is not the way to go, and that they need to trust each other to survive. I’m really gonna need a Mia/Will hug soon, please and thank you. Honestly, Will is the perfect balance/offset to Mia with his easy humour and quick wit, but he ALWAYS brings the feels as well. He reminds me so much of Emily’s portrayal of Felicity, and not just in the way that his character has been written, but just by what he brings to the role. Ben is a wonderful actor; I adore him and he and William must be protected at all costs!

In the final confrontation, Mia, Zoe and JJ storm JJ and the Deathstrokes, but JJ gets Mia by the throat in an awesome 3x23 Felicity/Slade parallel. Mia couldn’t save herself like Felicity did in this instance, but we must remember that this is just the beginning of Mia’s journey. She has time. Unlike Zoe, who saves Mia, but is then fatally stabbed by JJ 😬 Poor Zoe dies in Mia’s arms. Kat’s acting here was perfection. I may have shed a tear. They had kept Zoe pretty much in the background in the FFs, so I wasn’t particularly attached; if one of FTA needed to die, then I’m good with her. Sorry Zo. But in all honesty, this fridging trope really needs to end. Another female character didn’t need to die in order to elevate JJ’s evil-factor, or to spur on Mia’s hero journey, or Connor’s struggle with his conscience. Enough now. Hopefully, being a bird, Zoe will be back from the dead soon enough anyway 😂

Source: 1-crazy-dreamer 💗

Connor sees Zoe die and goes after JJ. Hard. Tries to kill him. Between 2 generations of Queens and Diggles, the sibling parallels were so strong this week, and I’m loving it! I wrote a little meta here about it. But does Connor have the guts to actually kill JJ? JJ taunts that he doesn’t, Connor disagrees, but then the bright light comes for all of FTA and so we come to…

THAT ENDING

OH MY GOD ALL OF FTA IN THE BUNKER IN 2019!!!!!!!!!!!!

So most people following any kind of interviews or spoilers had a pretty firm idea that Mia would come back in time at the end of the episode. We were expecting it. What the show did was really quite clever...they allowed these pretty big spoilery-type interviews and tweets to be released, heavily implying that Mia would rock up in the last 30 seconds. They let us think we were all clever and had figured it out then BOOM! EVERYONE CAME BACK (minus Zoe 😬)! 

I am so pleased with this!! All the paparazzi pics etc that we’d seen of Mia in the crossover etc had made me so happy, but equal parts sad that William couldn’t go back and see Oliver too, but now he can!!!

Uggghhhh it was so fucking goooood!! Oliver’s initial confusion of being beamed back to the bunker, stunned Dig, Dinah and Rene (I can live with their 5-second appearances this season 😂😂), then the camera and Oliver pan around to Mia, William and Connor just stood there!! Mia still had tears running down her face from seeing Zoe die, and she has her Arrow suit on and is covered in blood and she sees her Daddy for the first time in her memory!!!!!!! Just one word is delivered in those last few seconds and it was still one of the best moments of the season so far!!

Mia’s “Dad”, followed by Oliver’s confusion, realisation, then shock was just gaaahhhh!! But my absolute favourite reaction (I decided after multiple rewatches, for science, haha) was William’s 😍😭😍 His eyes full of tears, and utter gobsmacked-ness was fucking sublime!!  

Source for all 3 reaction gifs: tylerposey

Next week is going to be so epic!! We have Mia, who has never met Oliver and who has built him up so much in her head and heart from Felicity and William’s stories, and also the tainted Star City archives, getting to finally come face-to-face with him. Then conversely, there is William, who got a few years to know his father, but then left him and eventually believed to have been abandoned by him and Felicity, and has had to live for 20 years until very recently still believing that, and now he gets to see him again, only a few months after little William left! Then there’s Connor, who Dig barely even knows in 2019 and he’s gonna call him Dad and then have to tell him that he nearly just killed JJ, who just killed Zoe, and Rene is right there and I AM HERE FOR ALL OF ITTTTTT!!!! 

There’s so much content coming in next weeks episode it’s going to be so beautiful!!  I wrote a post of things I really hope to see here, and I’m pretty confident we’ll get most of them and so much more!

Then there’s the implications of what FTA being in the present means for the future!! I had a bit of a spec meltdown here about how this could end up saving Oliver, and I think that’s pretty much just wishful thinking, but either way, them coming back to the present to help with the Crisis and to try and stop future Star City turning so bleak is going to make my head hurt and my heart sing in equal measure, I’m sure! After all, what is the point in having the multiverse, time travel, super powers etc in Arrow if we can’t reap some benefits from it somehow? The ending to this episode, and hopefully next week will be our reward for the fuckery we’ve had to endure with the more sci-fi-esque elements since Larry rocked up and the Arrowverse was extended. And I. cannot. wait.

Thank you to the beautiful, talented, and super speedy gifmakers for blessing us with all the amazing gifsets from this episode!! Mwah! 😘😘 (Uncredited gifs are mine)

💗💗💗

[nicolewoo]

SCOTTISH KING

Summary: Drew McIntyre has returned to RAW, and it's Y/N's job to make him look great. Now if he can just stop ruining it......

Pairing: Drew Mcintyre x Reader

Warnings: Language, Erection

Working as a seamstress in the WWE was a hectic, sometimes stressful and wonderful job. My boss, Sandra Gray was amazing. She was strict and demanded near perfection, but she also praised more often than she corrected. I understood why. The ring attire HAD to be strong, stretchy, and often sparkly. One costume slip could ruin a wrestler's reputation and would surely get the company in trouble with cable networks. Sandra had earned my respect, as well as the respect of everyone at WWE. The longer I worked for her, the more responsibilities she gave me, and I loved it.

Being on the road is not always fun. It's often lonely and always exhausting. I thrived on the stress though. I always had.

So when Sandra came to me with a pile of black leather, a box of metal and a notebook of sizes and a design for a coat, I was more than happy to take on the challenge.

“Can you handle this for me?” She asked as I reviewed the rough sketches and materials.

I flipped through the book, “Absolutely,” I assured her.

“Normally I would handle this one myself, but I'm just too backed up tonight. Can you get this done by Friday?”

That was going to take up any free time I could carve out for myself, but again.... I'm a glutton for punishment. I thrived on stress, and I thrived on Sandra's praise. “Yeah. I should be able to do that.”

“I know it's a big project. If you need help, grab Henry.” That at least comforted me a bit.

I nodded in agreement and starting planning how to handle the project.

The notebook was labeled Talent: Drew McIntyre. Drew McIntyre? Drew.... yes.... I remember him. I wasn't even working here when he wrestled with the WWE, and my memory was hazy, but I was certain I'd recognize him when I saw him. I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and googled the wrestler.

As the images loaded, I realized that yes, I knew Drew. I had liked his wrestling, well..... and those dimples... and eyes.... and chest..... and...... I liked watching him wrestle, but he just disappeared one day, and I hadn't seen nor heard of him since. As I studied the pictures of young Drew from his time in WWE in 2007, I realized I was going to like working on this project for all the wrong reasons. He was a handsome devil. BUT.... But I'm a professional. I can do this.

Putting my phone away, I got to work cutting the leather, matching the metal pieces to the sketch Sandra had done, putting together a floor length black leather coat dotted with spikes and other metal. It really was a HUGE project, but I was up to the task.

I got so wrapped up in the project, I was oblivious to the time. A member of the venue's security knocked on the door and told me they were closing. I wasn't really at a stopping point, but I didn't have a choice. One thing was for certain, I needed to meet with Drew for a couple of measurements. I'd shoot him a text in the morning.

I returned to my hotel room and crashed. I dreamed of a huge giant of a man with a smooth chest and straight long brown hair. I dreamed of hazel eyes and leather and metal spikes. I dreamed of his giant hands around my waist, over my breasts, cupping my ass. I woke suddenly knowing only 1 thing. I had to cum NOW. I had dreamed in so much detail, I was on the verge of a climax. I slid my hand to my clit, and no more than a minute later, I came hard and long.  Hmmmmm that was exactly what I needed. I rolled over and fell back to sleep.

Before even heading to the venue, I shot Drew a text.

“It's Y/N from wardrobe. I need a few measurements. Can you give me a few minutes of your time today?” I put my phone down, but immediately received a reply text.

“Yes. Where are you now?”

“Still at the hotel, but I can be at the venue in a half hour.”

“My day is completely booked up. The only time I have is now. Are you at the Regency?” He asked.

“Yes.”

“Let's do this now. What's your room number?” I balked at the idea, but I knew the talent usually had busy days... especially with Drew returning to WWE. I'm sure he had press to do. I sent Drew my room number and pulled out the book with the measurements.

Drew knocked in a few minutes. That was fast. I opened the door to see the new Drew. This was not the gorgeous Scottish prince from 2007. What stood in front of me was a giant hulk of a MAN..... a king...... His black t-shirt barely containing his muscles. His hair seemed darker, curlier, and pulled back at the nape of his neck, and his voice was much deeper than I remembered. “I'm Drew” he said as a warm smile crossed his lips. Oh good golly. Just those 2 words set my whole body on fire. This man was pure sex appeal, and the dimples on his cheeks didn't help. I'm just wound up from the dream last night, I thought. Stay professional. I pleaded with myself.

“I'm Y/N. Sorry to add something to your day.” I said inviting him in. “You got here so fast, I didn't even have time to get my tape measure out.” I chuckled.

“I was stayin' just down the hall.” He admitted. “Where do you want me?” He asked.

In my bed! I thought. That's it... I was busted.... I had to have turned 18 shades of red, but if I did, Drew was nice enough not to let on. “Stand right where you are,” I answered as I fumbled for a pen and the tape measure.

It was then that I realized with anyone else, and anywhere but my hotel room, I would have asked the talent to take their shirt off, but given my mood, I decided to work around Drew's clothes. I got right to work measuring. I jotted down measurements and notes as I went along. Then I decided to have Drew try on the pieces that had already been assembled. He did and grimaced when his arm wouldn't fit in his sleeve.

“Who measured you?” I asked knowing I wasn't going to like the answer.

“I... I don't know. Some lad with red hair.” He grinned at me.

Henry! I thought. Oh good golly. Henry was fantastic at sewing but often measured wrong. Crap! I'm going to have to re-do all the measurements, and Drew is in a hurry. “Ok. I'm going to re-measure you.” I saw Drew sigh in frustration. I laid a hand on his arm reassuringly, and immediately regretted it. It was inappropriate and only fueled my lust. “I promise to be faster and better than Henry.”

He placated me with a nod, but I could tell by his eyes that he was frustrated. I felt the need to reassure him again but realized showing was better than saying. I went right to work. Now if I could only get my stomach to stop churning with every time my skin made contact with his........ Let's get this done right and quickly! I told myself.

It was a mere 5 minutes later when I finished, and I earned a raised eyebrow and a warm smile when I told him. “That was much faster.” He admitted.

“I aim to please.” I joked. “I'll call you probably tomorrow to come try on the assembled jacket.”

“I'll be sure to swing by to see you when I get to the venue.” He said. “Thanks for getting this done so fast, and for letting me come here for it. I know it's not the most professional place.” That smile was slowly melting me.

“No problem. I'll see you tomorrow.” As he left, I breathed a sigh of relief. That was done, and I didn't make a blubbering fool of myself despite the urge that bubbled up inside me.

Once set up in the venue, I quickly went to work. Sandra and I agreed that my time was best spent working on Drew's coat, so only the most pressing interruptions came to me.... A tear in some trunks, a zipper on a shirt... but most of my time was spent working on the coat. I had all of the leather assembled. Now I was just putting on the metal spikes while I waited for Drew to visit wardrobe tomorrow. With any luck, I'd have this project done early, and I'd be able to avoid Drew and those intoxicating looks in the future.

Each spike, chain and grommet I added was one step closer to being done with this.... with him? I knew that wasn't what I wanted, but it was what I needed. I needed to steer clear of this giant made of sex appeal, so I could concentrate on my profession. Relationships weren't in my schedule.

“Do you have time for me?” a soft gravely voice came from behind me. I turned to find that Drew looming over me.

“I.... I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow.” I said. “I thought you were booked up for today.”

“The interview I did was shorter than expected.” Gah... how could this giant sound so soft and gentle? It was unnerving. If only he was rough and tough, I could dismiss him as a jerk, but instead, he practically whispered when he talked, and his head dipped slightly as if he was trying to hide how tall and big he was. He was more of a gentle teddy bear than a man who could force-ably take anything he wanted. As the thought ran through my head, so did my dream from last night. His giant hands, his soft hair, his hazel/gray eyes. I dug my fingernails into my palm to stop my daydream.

I untangled the coat from the sewing machine. “Are you ready to try it on?” I asked holding the jacket up to help him try it on.

Instead of going for the jacket, he stopped to pull off his shirt. I gasped; loud enough for him to hear.

“Sorry. A hiccup.” I tried to cover. He didn't indicate if he knew the truth.

He bowed down a bit to slip one arm in the coat I held up, and a smile crept over his face. As his second arm slipped in, and we both knew it fit perfectly.

“Well done Y/N” Drew said as his hands ran over the jacket as if smoothing down the lapels of a suit. “And your adding metal studs?” he asked.

“Actually, we are doing a combination of different metals.” I reached for the booklet with the sketches and opened it for him to see.

“Did you design this?” His eyebrows lifted as he looked through the book.

His eyes met mine..... the gray, green mixture and his soft words were making me melt. Stay professional Y/N. “No. You can thank Sandra for the design.” I said.

“Oh,” he looked disappointed. He walked over to the full length mirror we'd leaned against the wall and admired the coat. “I was wonderin' if you could design some new trunks for me.” He didn't turn to see me, but I saw that he was looking through the mirror at me.

I tried my best not to blush, but I failed. I quickly turned to my work station and grabbed the notepad to cover. “I can do that.”

“Do you think YOU can measure me this time? It would save time.” He smirked which only made him look even better.

I realized I was holding my breath. I chuckled, “Yes, I can do that too.”

Drew checked his phone quickly, “I've got some press to do now.” He tucked his phone back in his pocket and put his shirt back on. “Can we meet in catering before the show to go over designs?” I thought I saw a bit of a smile on his face, but brushed it off. Most of these male stars knew how to flirt to get what they wanted. I'm sure Drew was no different.

“Name the time.” I said.

We agreed on 5 pm.

“I'll buy you dinner.” He winked at me. Ok, now he was outright flirting with me. Don't fall for it. I told myself.

“Dinner is free, you knucklehead.” I joked back.

“Aye,” He turned to look directly into my eyes, “But that's not my fault.” That smirk again....

It's just innocent flirting. I'm sure he's like this with all the girls.

“True. Ok. 5 pm in catering.”

“See you then.” I expected him to leave, but he looked into my eyes, and the smirk was gone. He looked almost hurt. I masked the quizzical look that almost crossed my face. Whatever game this guy is playing, I've got a job to do. I will remain professional.

I was so engrossed in making his jacket that I was losing track of time again. When the alarm on my phone went off at 4:45, I was jolted back to reality. Shit! Prepare for more flirting. I've got to stop this.

As I made my way to catering, I passed Natalia who had an issue with her new costume. I told her to meet me in an hour and continued on my way. It was a distraction that pulled my mind from what was going to happen in a few minutes. If today was any indication, Drew would flirt with me to get what he wanted. It pissed me off as much as it melted me. Where did he get off playing with my emotions? I was fuming in anger by the time I walked into catering.

Drew spotted me before I spotted him. By the time my eyes reached him, he looked contrite. I went through the dinner line and picked out my dinner before joining him at the table.

“Are you upset?” Drew asked as I sat down.

Cover our emotions. Don't let him know. “Just busy.” I replied. “Nattie just threw another repair on me for tonight.” I explained.

Drew must have realized I wasn't in the mood to play his game tonight. “If you need to handle her repair, this can wait until tomorrow.” He offered as he nodded at my book.

“No!” I blurted out. What the fuck, Y/N? Why didn't I want to get away from him? I'm starting to fall for his flirting. Snap out of it. “No. I can do both.” I assured him calmer this time.

A small smile warmed his face, and I couldn't help but feel more relaxed. I tried to look at my notebook as I opened it, but my eyes stayed on his a moment too long. Those beautiful eyes. Stop it! I screamed to myself.

I took a couple bites of my dinner as I sketched out three pairs of trunks. “What colors were you thinking of for your trunks?” I asked.

“Black.” He said it without any hint of his normal flirtation, but even the sound of his serious voice jolted through me like white hot fire. Shit!

“Just black?” I asked, “because if so, I'm done.” I chuckled nervously.

He chuckled back. “No. No. I want you to add some Celtic crosses.” He reached to his back pocket to grab his phone and quickly opened a few pictures of Celtic crosses.

As we started looking through the crosses, I started to relax. When I relaxed, he did too. I was completely focused now on designing his new trunks. We decided on a couple of different styles. Gold outline with a black Celtic cross, Red cross with gold background, and a Gold cross with a red circle on a red background. Then we discussed the way the cross would be laid out on the trunks and then onto the materials I would use. All of it was simple to me, but he seemed impressed.

“Listen, I know you've got a lot on your plate right now. I don't need these in a hurry.” Drew assured me.

“Well, Nattie's repair and your coat should be done tonight, so I'll have some time. Barring any unforeseen circumstances, I should be able to have one pair done by tomorrow.” I assured him. “But I will need to measure you. Will you have time for that before the show?” I asked.

“If not, I'll come by during the show. I'm not on until later.”

And with that we were done. No matter how much I enjoyed his company, I still had work to do. “I'll catch you later then.” I said as I grabbed my tray and headed back to wardrobe.

I spent the next couple of hours doing repairs and working on Drew's coat. I was excited that I was getting closed to finishing.

“Are you ready for me?” I knew it was Drew. How a man his size could sneak up on me not once, but TWICE in the same day was a mystery.

“Actually, you've got perfect timing.” I turned around to see him bringing his coat with me. “I'm onto the very last details. Can you try this on for me again?” I asked and Drew smiled softly.

“Your wish is my command.” He flirted, and it worked. Every muscle in my groin twitched as he spoke and smiled at me.

Cover your emotions. I told myself. “Ok. Ok. Casanova.” I brushed off his flirtation. “I've got a job to do.” I said seriously, but I couldn't hide the tiny hint of a smile that played at the corners of my mouth. He looked so pleased to see it. “Try it on.” I told him.

He did, and we found that the coat was just a bit longer than he wanted. That was an easy fix.

“Let's get you measured.” I said professionally. “Are you wearing underwear?” I asked seriously.

He didn't answer right away, but lowered his head a bit and quirked an eyebrow up. “Excuse me?”

“Cut it out, Drew.” I said crossing my arms across my chest to show him I meant business. “I need to measure you, and I can't do it over your jeans. Surely, you've had to do this for other costume crews.”

A look of realization came over his face. “Oh, Yeah. Yeah. I'm wearing underwear.” Did he just blush?

He looked directly into my eyes as he reached to the button of his jeans, I couldn't help realizing just how perfectly they fit him. Dear golly! I wish all men wore their jeans like him. Stop it! I turned to get my tape measure and my notepad to avoid watching the extremely sexy man stripping.

Stay professional. Do your job. You've seen men in their underwear before. This is no different than any other fitting. Focus on your job.

When I turned back around, Drew was standing in just his t-shirt and his boxer briefs. The sight was enough to get me wet, but I focused on my work. I tried to pay attention to anything other than his body. This was quite possibly the most awkward I'd ever felt in my life, even though I'd measured plenty of men for trunks and pants.

It was just as I was measuring his inseam that my hand brushed against his balls and I dropped the measuring tape. FUCK! He pulled away from me slightly. There was no doubt that his penis hardened a bit at the touch. “I'm so sorry.” I apologized not even looking up at him and went back to my work.... trying not to think about the growing appendage in front of me.

It was then that he tentatively said, “Would now be a bad time to ask you out?”

I barely had time to even register the question when I heard “YES!” from across the room. It was Sandra, and she headed our way. “Highly inappropriate, and if you say anything else, I'll call HR.” She tapped my shoulder. “Take a break Y/N.”

I was relieved and confused. Did he just ask me out? Right after I brushed against his balls? I knew it was a terrible thing for him to do, but there was a part of me that wanted to say yes. I admit that this particular part was focused on his growing dick, but that doesn't make his question right. “Why don't you go take a walk?” She asked me. “Come back when you're ready.” I nodded in agreement, not sure what to say, and as I walked out, I heard Sandra start railing on Drew, “What the fuck were you thinking? This poor girl is just trying to do her job, and you come in here...” As the door shut, I couldn't hear her anymore.

Once I was in the hallway, I didn't know what to do. I stood there dumbfounded for a minute. Baily was the one who found me there.

“Hey girl, are you ok?” she asked.

It shook me out of my fog. “Yeah, Yeah... Sorry. I zoned out.” I said to her. I tried thinking on my feet, “I was just headed to the restroom.” I answered and headed there.

I entered a stall and latched the door behind me. I just stood there, trying to catch my breath. Did Drew McIntyre just ask me out? I admit there was a connection between us, but to ask me out THEN? RIGHT THEN? What the fuck was that? Why would he do that? What could he gain from asking me out then. Was he joking? Was he serious?

These questions and more swam through my head all night. I dreamed of a Scottish king who took what he wanted. I dreamed of him in a kilt with a broadsword swinging at invisible enemies. I dreamed of his breath on my neck, his hands in my hair, his body against mine. I dreamed of lustful looks and stolen kisses, of all encompassing passion. I dreamed of him making love to me.

I woke covered in sweat and out of breath. Again, I needed to cum. Fuck! I laid in bed, knowing what I wanted, what I needed. I closed my eyes as I slid my hand down and made myself cum to memories of my dreams. Good Grief! I hope I didn't run into Drew today. I needed to get him out of my head.

I arrived at the arena a few hours early. I was headed to wardrobe when I spotted Drew talking to Aleister Black in the hallway. He looked positively flustered when he spotted me. He put both his hands up as if surrendering and slowly walked up to me.

“I'm so sorry.” He hung his head. “I don't know what I was thinking.” He continued.

I wrapped my arms over my chest and huffed. “I know what I said was inappropriate. Well, the timing was. Can you forgive me?” he looked at me with big puppy dog eyes.

“Drew,” I started but I couldn't think of what to say. There was an awkward pause.

I could tell the silence was upsetting him. “Let's just...... Let's forget it.” I said. I didn't mean to, but my tone sounded angry.

He raised his head a bit in relief. “I......” He stopped, unsure how to continue.  “Can I just explain?”

The hanging of his head, the fidgeting as he talked, the fact that he obviously didn't know what to do with his hands.... in fact his normally controlled body language was replaced with uncertainty. He was vulnerable, and that struck me as pitiful.  “Yes.” I said after a deep breath.

He started to look around, “Can we go somewhere away from others?”

I motioned to the end of the hall. It wasn't private, but it was far enough away that nobody would hear us. I noticed Alistair watching us from where he stood in the hall, and I took comfort in knowing someone was there if this all went south.

Drew cleared his throat and fidgeted again, “I know what I said... well, when I said it was all wrong. The truth is, I was very uncomfortable. When you accidentally brushed against me, my body....” he searched for the right word. “Responded.” He looked down at me shyly. “I wasn't exactly in a position to hide it from you.” He outright blushed. “I...” He huffed out a breath. “From the minute I saw you, I was attracted to you. When you brushed against me, and my body.... responded, I just got all awkward, and I said the first thing that came to mind.” He looked down at the floor. “It was completely wrong of me, and I do offer you my sincerest apology.”

If strong, stoic Drew was attractive, vulnerable, sweet Drew was downright irresistible. “So, what are we going to do about this?” I asked.

Drew was quick to answer, “Sandra is going to handle the jacket and my trunks from now on.” He said, and I detected a hint of sadness in his voice. He looked down at the floor.

“Like hell she will!” I said, and he immediately looked up at me in surprise. “That coat is going to be my masterpiece!” A slight smile curved one side of his mouth as a look of hope started to dawn in his eyes. “I'll be damned if I'm going to let anyone else get credit for your coat. I meant what are we going to do about the fact that we are attracted to each other?”

He was dumbfounded. His eyes looked scared and hopeful. “Do you..... Umm.... Will you.... Do you want to go out with me?” he asked.

I kept my arms folded in front of me, “I'm interested in having a couple of more conversations with you.” I said brusquely, “If you think you can keep yourself from being an ass.” I let the corner of my mouth curve into a smirk.

It was then that he hit me with a full, panty dropping, smile. “I can try my best, lass, but you get me flustered.” He answered.

“Try your best?” I raised my eyebrows questioningly then broke into a laugh.

He raised a hand in a pledge, “I'll try my best.” He waited a second before asking, “Can I buy you dinner in catering tonight?”

“It's not buying dinner if the food is free,” I teased.

He laughed heartily and the low grumble of it vibrated through my core. “5 o'clock?” He dipped his head in a nod.

“Sounds great.” I agreed. There was a momentary awkwardness as we tried to figure out how to end this talk.

“I'll see you at 5, princess.” He said gently, and I swear everything in me melted at the pet name.

As soon as I walked into wardrobe, Sandra descended on me like a vulture. “Drew is going to give you an official apology tonight. I'll be sure to be right by you for it.” She assured me.

“He already did.” I smiled.

She looked upset, “He did? He was supposed to come in here to apologize in front of me.”

“He ran into me on the way here. It's all worked out, but you're sweet to care so much.” I smiled.

“You're my best seamstress, and I won't have the talent treating you like a piece of meat. You deserve to be treated right!” Said like a true mama bear.

“Sandra, it's ok,” I chuckled. “I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself.” I smoothed my hand down her arm to assure her. “The fact that you came to my aid yesterday means the world to me. Thank you.” I said.

“Ok, ok.” She surrendered. “Did he do a good apology?” She questioned as she looked through a box of zippers.

I couldn't hide my smile. “Very good.”

The tone of my voice got her attention, “What did he say?” She prodded.

“That he was sorry. That it was an awkward moment and he said the first thing he could think of.” I thought about telling her that I'd brushed against him and he'd gotten hard, but decided mama bear would be furious if she knew that. “I'm positive he learned his lesson.” I assured her.

“Good.” She huffed and walked away.

I didn't lose track of time today. In fact, I checked the clock every 10 or 15 minutes until dinner time.

Drew was already seated when I got there, and I was 5 minutes early. I went through the dinner line and sat down across from Drew.

“I've got good news,” I chirped out in a sing song fashion.

His raised eyebrow asked before his words. “Yes?”

“Your coat is done!” I said triumphantly.

He chuckled at my tone, “Is it now? Pretty proud of yourself, aren't ya?”

“Well, after our conversation yesterday, I made some changes to Sandra's design to better reflect you.”

Now both of his eyebrows raised up, “Did ya now?”

I raised my chin strongly, “I think you're going to love it.” I said confidently.

“Well, lets swing by wardrobe after dinner and see.” He teased. “I'm sure I'm going to love it,” he said more seriously.

We sat and ate and ignored the looks on other's faces as we dined. We talked about our childhoods and jobs that led us to the WWE, and before I knew it, dinner time was done and we headed to wardrobe.

As we walked in together, I noticed Sandra saw us. She took a protective mama bear stance, and turned the sewing form so she could keep her eyes on us as she worked.

I handed the leather coat to Drew, and he gratefully accepted. “Let's see what you've been up to.” He joked. He stood in front of the full length mirror and began to unfold the coat. He glimpsed it before even putting his jacket on. His fingers ran over the embroidery. I had placed a small silver Celtic knots on both lapels of the coat. “They're beautiful.” He said in awe. “You did this today?” He asked as he put the coat on.

As we looked at how the coat fit him, he ran his hands over the knots again. “I love it,” He smiled.

I let a hint of mischievousness cross my face, “Wait. There's more.” I walked over to my work station and dug through the projects I was working on. I came back with the first pair of trunks for Drew. “These are meant to go specifically with the coat.” I handed them to him.

He gently unfolded the trunks and a giant smile erupted on his face as he saw the Celtic crosses on the sides and the giant Celtic knot I'd embroidered on the back. He looked almost stunned, “You did this?” I smiled, and I nodded which made him smile more. “That was so sweet.”

“Try them on,” I pointed to the makeshift changing area. He happily obliged.

When he walked out, everyone in wardrobe stopped. The trunks, the coat, the giant hulk of a man.... There was a confidence about him that was lacking in his street clothes. This time I didn't cover my gasp.... neither did Henry. (I heard him from across the room. )

“Take your hair down,” I heard Sandra say as she handed him a water bottle. He let down his hair, opened the bottle and poured a bit over his hair. Not as much as he normally would if he was going in the ring, but enough to get the full effect. He strode over to the mirror confidently and a rough, gravely growl emerged from him when he saw his reflection. He stood taller. He walked like a warrior. His muscles bulged.

“It's perfect!” Henry chimed from across the room.

Sandra placed her hand on my shoulder as she looked at my work. “It is,” she agreed. “You outdid yourself, Y/N.” She patted me gently.

“It is.” Drew gruffed out. The compliment sounded odd coming from the Celtic Warrior who stood in front of me.

I beamed with pride as Sandra began inspecting my work and found it to be flawless. “But don't ever alter my designs without my permission again.” Her voice took on a more professional tone.

I giggled and agreed. Everyone got back to work, leaving me in front of the mirror with Drew. He seemed like a whole other man in his full gear, which, I guess, was the best compliment. He was giant, daunting and incredibly sexy.

In the mirror, his eyes shifted to me. “Thank you!” I blushed at his words. We stood there a moment longer, looking at each other. Suddenly, his arms shifted and he pulled the coat closed in front of him. Just before it closed, I looked down to his trunks and figured out why. That made me blush even more.

“Why don't you change back into your street clothes?” I offered, pretending I hadn't seen his erection.

“Oh no!” He smirked. “I'm wearing this tonight unless you have to work on them more.”

I wasn't prepared for that, but he did have a match soon, so it made sense. I shook my head no.  “I am going to go get ready then.” He said. “Are you going with us to Cincinnati tonight?” he asked.

“Yes.” I answered, getting excited at what he'd say next.

“Can we have breakfast tomorrow?” He tilted his head slightly to the side; causing him to look more like the sweet man I met yesterday than the Celtic Warrior he looked like in his gear.

“Mmmhmm” I nodded yes.

“I'll call you around 9 am then.” He said gently and grabbed my hand. He slowly brought my hand to his lips and brushed his lips across my knuckles gently. “Tonight's win is for you.” He said, and he walked out.

As I sat back down to my sewing machine, I noticed the impressed look on Henry's face and the curious look on Sandra's face.

#drew mcintyre #wwe #wwe smut #drew mcintyre x reader #wwe fic #fic

[roughsexwithgaga]

Love Will Tear Us Apart pt.3

Continued from: “Alone together.”

You met me when I had no light.

"I can't believe you left with him!" Bo said. Her eyes were glowing and she squeezed the steering wheel like it contained all the juicy information. "Is he in love?"

"Why the fuck… I just-" Lady Gaga pushed her sunglasses up her nose.

"Did he want to see you again?"

"Yeah, well. He asked, so yeah!"

Bo grinned and laughed and Gaga looked at all the messages on her phone. You better work, bitch, she thought. One night off and her phone blew up. "Christian, Christian, Christian… what the fuck," she muttered as she scrolled.

"What is he saying?"

"He's apologizing and he's full of regret." Gaga let her hands drop to her thighs and exhaled. "He actually thought that he could get back at me by ignoring me? And now he won't shut up!"

\o/

Gaga could overhear Bobby and Bo talking about things they would never say to her face.

Bo said, "She's hurting herself."

Bobby said, "She's fragile."

She exhaled and wondered how much they were lying about to her face. Fragile? She wanted to object but when she opened her eyes and mouth she realized that she had fallen asleep over the mixer board. Their conversation felt so real in her dream. She looked around the room and noticed that she was in the studio and music was streaming really loud through the speakers. Maybe she subconsciously wanted people to tell her off. Her eyelids felt like they were glued shut and she blinked a few times and yawned. She turned the music off and realized her phone was buzzing.

She didn't even get a chance to say hi before Bloodpop laughed into her ear. "Guess who's here!"

"What?" was all she managed to say in her halfway between asleep and awake state.

"I thought you slept more like a princess all curled up and sweet but MISTER BURNS here says you sleep like a construction worker after a 14 hour shift and 8 pints of Guinness."

She heard Matt shout in the background. "I'm so sorry, Stefani, I did not say that. He's ruthless!"

"What the fuck is going on?" she said, more to herself than the producer who was laughing into her ear. He eventually stopped and she heard a muffled sound like he tried to cover the mic in a dramatic way.

"So you lied to me? I'll remember that. You told me she-"

She heard Matt's voice again, a little louder. "I promise we haven't even discussed you!"

"You don't even know what that looks like!" Gaga shouted. Feeling her cheeks heat up now, recalling how she had woken up at the DJ's place. It would be typical of Michael to joke about it to try and get a reaction out of Matt and he probably didn't know how spot on he was. She hated when people talked over her head and made her seem like she was out of the loop. She was in control, always. Even when she pretended that she wasn't.

Two days had passed since she met Matt Burns and she had been working in the studio as well as with her stylists. Michael finally got to the point and said he and Matt had been putting their heads together for a whole day and it sounded great but he didn't know if she would be interested. She promised she would come over to the Shangri-La studio as soon as she was back in Malibu.

It was getting dark outside so she closed the MacBook and collected the papers scattered in front of her. She had been making notes and going over papers and somehow fallen asleep in the middle of it all. She was so happy most of the awards season already was finalized.

"Oh, you're awake." Bo noticed the music had stopped and approached her with the phone in her hand.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" Gaga asked and felt like her whole face still had imprints of knobs and sliders and rubbed her cheek.

"You looked like you needed it," Bo said and first now Gaga noticed how sad she looked. "It's Ryan, the vet has been over and I'm sorry but it's not… good news."

Gaga inhaled and took the phone and interrupted herself mid thought about Bo letting her sleep on the sound board. "Oh my god," she whispered instead and blinked when she felt her throat get thick. "Ryan?" she said and waited for the man to deliver his message. In short her horse was sick, and getting worse. Gaga had to go to Malibu to see her, but there was also the Critics' Choice awards tomorrow. She had to go home anyway and then back again.

She told Bo she wanted to leave immediately, and her friend put the things that she wanted with her in a bag and carried it out to her car. She sat with her head in her hands basically the entire ride back to Malibu. Her headache was soaring like a dull knife through her head and she had taken enough pain killers to knock out an elephant.

When she arrived it was dark outside and the mansion seemed deserted. Her driver stopped by the stable and she pulled herself out of the car. Bo took her bag and walked over to the house.

"I'll come inside in a while… In case she's on the safe side." Gaga said.

Bo looked at her friend's tiny shoulders pulled up to her ears and the baggy sweat pants that seemed like they would drop off her hips any second. Her feet were shuffling through the gravel like she wanted to avoid reaching the stables because she didn't want to know how bad it was.

She put the bag down and ran over to her, put her arm around her shoulders and followed her inside the welcoming warm light in the stable. "It's gonna be OK," she whispered against her ear.

"I hope you're right," Gaga mumbled and reached for Bo's hand when she saw Arabella lying down in her stall. Suddenly the horse looked so tiny, barely taking up any space on the floor. Gaga's staff had made sure she was as comfortable as she could be. Lots of straw and the mattress of shavings underneath her were new and soft.

Gaga's lack of proper sleep would most likely knock her out any second. She could feel her muscles protest every time she moved. The warmness of the animal, her shallow sleep. Gaga caressed the neck and listened to the hollow sound of the breaths. The horse noticed her, tried to raise her head and welcome her, but the effort was too much. Instead she sniffed her hands when Gaga put them over her mule and caressed her.

"They put her on a steady IV-drip to keep her calm," Ryan said and Gaga nodded. Her focus was solely on the horse by her side.

"Beautiful baby," she whispered and saw the ears wiggle, listening to her voice. "I'm so sorry."

\o/

"I know it's in a fucking hangar, but it'll be OK." Gaga tried to pose in front of the mirror. "The only thing not making this dress fall to the floor are my nipples!" she said.

"We can change it if you want to," her stylist Sandra said and pulled her eyebrows together and Gaga thought it looked like she felt sorry for her.

"No, I like it. I want to wear it. It'll be interesting if I step on it," she laughed and pulled it up a little. "Let's just pray they stay hard." She exhaled. "I can't breathe," she added and tried to take slow breaths. "I'm so nervous."

Everyone looked at her and she felt like they pitied her. Like she was being ridiculous.

"I'm sorry, I'm just so…" She felt her throat get thick and went 'no, no' in her head.  

"Don't worry. Just enjoy the night. You already won." Bobby stroke her back and put his arms around her.

"Just let me know if anything happens. I don't want to be left in the dark," she said.

Bobby promised any updates on her horse Arabella would go straight to her and then they made themselves ready to leave the hotel for the award show.

Christian met her outside the hotel and she smiled at him. "Hi," she said and held his hand when she sat down in the car. "How are you?"

"I'm good," he replied. "You look fantastic. Listen, I-"

"Thank you," she said to cut him off.

We can't even have a conversation anymore she thought and looked out the window on her side. Christian held her phone and bag with her notes.

"I've been so busy I haven't had time to memorize anything. I mean I have made notes and if I have to get up there and accept an award I will have to look at a fucking piece of paper and I just…" She made a resigned gesture with her hands and shrugged.

Christian looked at her. "You will do great. I'm sure of it. It won't matter."

…

"Best Song…"

"…Shallow."

She heard the whispers from people around her but was still in shock by how amazingly the song resonated with people everywhere and the massive impact it had with the help of the movie.

Refusing to take any of these award winnings for granted she felt overwhelmed when the song was announced as the winner in its category. Having her feelings on the outside of her skin all night, she didn't have to search inside to get emotional over the win. They were all extraordinary and a testament to how hard work and dedication paid off.

Each time the song got acclaim and praise she felt like a valve was turned and letting some steam out. All winter everyone expected it to sweep and once all this started and she could start checking things off she was more and more relieved. If people thought she was extra then so be it, it was their problem. She got spoiled once and the next second she had it all thrown into her face. She was aware of how deceiving the business could be, and how they could screw you over for no reason at all.

"I don't know what is going on, but you could at least pretend to be happy for her." She heard the whisper behind her when she sat down after returning to her seat. She didn't see who it was, but saw how Christian's neck turned red and how he started shifting in his seat and looked to his other side, away from her.

Gaga thought how it probably was hard for him. He didn't know his place in all this, and felt removed from her. "You're part of the team," she whispered. "Enjoy the night at least." His scent somehow made her relax even if she felt like she was on the edge of a breakdown.

He looked down and felt her hand on his. She looked so different. He realized she had been stressed these last few days. But she always worked hard and seemed to be completely swallowed up by things she was so invested in. He just wasn't one of those things right anymore and he could sense the detachment. It was so evident and he realized she was distancing herself more than ever, even in public. People are gonna see we're not a couple, no matter what, he thought and noticed that he once again was somewhere completely else when he heard Best Actress being announced and felt her grip get harder.

Gaga was ready for another resignation like at the Globes. It was the award she wanted, what she had worked for several years in a row now.

Glenn Close - again, she didn't know if she was supposed to be happy for her or feel like a failure and sat there confused and empty for several seconds before it sank in that it was a tie. Then she felt her heart make frantic double somersaults inside her chest.

The possibility that it could be her turn made her go completely deaf during Glenn's speech when she waited for the other announcement. Her pulse kept hammering so loud when the name 'Lady Gaga' was read out loud that she could barely hear it. Everything happened so fast. Her heart felt like it shot up through her throat and she had difficulties breathing. She saw the Oscars in front of her and her mind was elevated into some blissful cloudy heavens. You're not there yet, she thought while her chest cramped.

Christian's arms shot up in the air, and she suddenly didn't know where to turn and then she stepped on the dress on her way to the stage. For a fraction of a second she feared it would be her Jackson Maine moment, that her dress would drop to her hips and she would stand there completely naked. Not that it bothered her, but the moment could hardly be any worse.

You're an actress now, she said to herself. But you're also Stefani and this is your dream. She swallowed, tried to gather her thoughts that were darting back and forth inside her brain and put them into words. She had longed for a moment like this. Yes, she was grateful for all the awards, but this… this was- and then she noticed they had the nerve to try and play her off the stage and she barely knew what she was talking about but that piano snapped her back into reality real quick.

She angrily turned her head to announce to the people on the side stage that she could definitely do this with a piano background. Her lips moved by themselves ahead of her brain and her hands trembled with the note in her hands.

…

When she returned from the press room, Bobby took her aside. The look on his face scared her. "What is going on?" she asked, firmly gripping the two awards.

"Arabella is getting worse by the minute."

Christian overheard them. "What's going on?"

"Arabella is getting worse," Bobby said.

Gaga covered her face in his hands and decided to leave straight away.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Christian asked.

"Do as you like, I don't give a fuck." Gaga hurried past him and tried to keep a straight face.

\o/

The whole night was a torture. The horse weakening every second and Gaga being torn between wanting it to end and for it to never end. At one point Arabella started breathing faster and her dark brown eyes seemed to roll around like she was panicking. Gaga felt the horse's heart beat faster and cried out for help.

"I think she's in pain," she shouted. Her tears streamed down her face. "Please, please, make it better." She let her hand stroke along the neck of the horse, trying to comfort and calm her down.

The vet increased the doze, Arabella calmed down but got weaker every minute. Gaga wanted to make her wake up, but by the morning she could see the light in the horse's eyes fade slowly and Gaga dug her fingers into her mane, pulled it and cried against the lifeless body.

…

Christian woke up and noticed that she had not slept on her side in the bed. He could still somehow sense her presence and looked towards the windows. Gaga sat outside with her legs against her chest and a cigarette between two fingers. Her hair fluttered a little in the slight breeze and the ash looked like a long gray twig, ready to fall off any second. She seemed lost in her own thoughts and twitched when he opened the doors and sat down next to her.

She raised her head and he looked into her bloodshot eyes. "Hey," she said and wiped her cheeks in case there were still tears.

"How is she?" Christian asked.

Gaga exhaled. "She's gone, Christian. She's…" Her voice cracked. "I saw how the life faded in her eyes. It was so… heartbreaking how I couldn't help her. I just sat there and I-" she choked up again.

"You know how human touch can calm people down, people who are lying in hospital beds, you can literally see how their bodies react to human touch, how they calm down and I'm sure she could sense all the love you poured over her. I'm so sorry, Stef."

"I don't know what to do," she said and he put his hand on hers. It was resting next to her on the couch and to his surprise she didn't pull it away. "I just didn't want her to feel any pain. She was so scared." She turned around and wrapped her arms around him. The tears made his t-shirt wet and he could feel her fingers dig into his shoulder.

He felt his throat get thick, thinking of how much Gaga had loved the horse and how he had laughed at her crazy but adorable ideas. How a void would be left when an animal you were used to passed away. He held her and let her cry until she felt like there were no more tears left. She pulled the collar of his t-shirt, started brushing it and apologized for making him wet.

How could he tell her how lovely it felt having her touching him, turning to him at this moment? He had to tell himself that he was comforting her, and it was his job even if she seemed so sick and tired of him right now. He was afraid that if he told her that he loved her right now, she would let him go. She would remember that she didn't want him anymore and leave him. Fuck, he was so desperate to keep her it was pathetic.

He wrapped her arm around her back and let it glide up to her nape and raised his chin to smell her hair. It was stiff from all the products she had used yesterday and wasn't washed. She turned her face up and let her lips nudge his. The stubble was rough against her soft, swollen lips and it made her feel something. His scent was familiar and comforting.

She pulled her head away. "No, stop. I can't. I just… it doesn't work that way."

"I love you, Stef." He said it anyway, nearly in panic, and raised his hand to her face.

"No, you have this idea of how we're supposed to be and it just isn't like that."

"This is exactly what I told you the other day!"

She raised her head and looked into his eyes. "Yeah, so maybe we have different views on what love is." Her voice was hard. "Do you think this is the right moment for this?"

Christian looked at his hands and started to pick the hairs on his arms. "I was just trying to comfort you."

"Right," she muttered and turned away from him.

He didn't want to leave her side so he sat there quietly while she lit another cigarette and stared at the sea.

\o/

Work. Always the best way to keep your mind busy when it wanted to stray into areas you didn't want to be. Gaga stepped off the plane and got into the car. It was early morning and she was scheduled to perform at Park Theater later that evening. Christian followed right behind her, suddenly having gained a bit of confidence back the last few days. Not that they had spent a lot of time together since The Golden Globes. Gaga was pretty much done with the whole thing and Christian lingering around her was getting on her nerves.

She subconsciously thought of ways to annoy him and considered going out or spend time with her band and dancers just so she wouldn't have to be alone with him and his prying eyes and questions. She noted that he had started to suspect something. Justin was texting her, Burns was texting her. But somehow he had developed a fixation on what the tabloids wrote. She had to laugh at the fact that when they did the press tour he did not care no matter how much she buttered Bradley in front of the press or how many rumors they started.

Some people had shown that they did not approve of the whole thing, but they really sold that movie and it had worked wonders.

She tossed the car door opened and got out of the vehicle. The air was chilly and dry. She wanted to get inside as quickly as possible and pushed the sun glasses up her nose and dove right into her villa inside the Mansion. Barely acknowledging the flowers on the table inside the massive hallway she made her way to the bathroom. She grabbed a bottle of water and noted that the massage table was already set up. She would have a bath and massage and then it would already be time to get back in the car and basically just travel across the intersection to Park MGM.

…

It felt so awesome to be back on stage and hearing the fans lose their shit while she gave them everything. After some aftercare, since her body apparently was falling to pieces, she would meet some of them. She did her usual strut inside the room and posed for their pics for a few minutes before it was time to get back to the Mansion again. Some wouldn't shut up and some didn't say two words but she was used to both and carried a tiny conversation even with the most star struck ones.

It was mind numbing and nice. She soaked herself in the compliments and smiled even if it already felt like she was on her third show of the week. She looked over her shoulder and waved at the few ones who still stood behind and collected their bags with merchandise. None of them looked at her and she sighed internally at how fickle the attention was. They got their moment, now they wanted to share it with their friends.

Bobby was right beside her. "Killed it," he said and gave her a wink as they entered the elevator to go back down.

She laughed and gave him a soft nudge with her elbow. "Thanks Bobby," she said.

Freddie took the wig as soon as she sat down inside the dressing room. Then she undressed and sat down on the couch in the middle of the room. The adrenaline was still pumping inside her and she felt a comfortable buzz.

\o/

By Sunday she had decided to get wasted after her jazz show and booked a whole bar and activities for her team. She showed up at midnight after everyone else had been busy for about an hour. She had looked exhausted after the concert since every minute she was awake she spent working and after that she gave it all for two hours on stage.  

She wore a tight black dress that glittered in the lights by the bar. After all it's Las Vegas. The thin shoulder straps rested across her tanned shoulders and the low cleavage was tight and gave her tits a lift that she was especially content with. Her make up was subtle but still enhanced her cheek bones and made her lips look swollen and pouty. She smiled and sat down between Sarah and Bobby. Christian stopped behind her when there was no chair close to Gaga he walked all around the bar to the other side to find a place to sit.

She crossed her legs and let her thigh be visible through the slit. The dress reached her ankles but was a little bit too long, but she wanted to wear it anyway. Her eyelids had a glittery pinkish color and thin eyeliner. It really worked wonders and she looked more alive than she had done all week. She had her hair up in a bun and tiny little diamonds in her ears. She ordered a margarita and started chatting with Sarah.

…

After about 45 minutes she had managed to get hammered and could barely sit on the bar stool without slipping off it. At first she had not noticed anything and then the alcohol hit her like a ton of bricks. She started repeating herself and noted that her memory started to deceive her. When she went to the restrooms she had to support herself against the wall. When she looked into the mirror she told herself to "get a grip" – as if getting completely tanked wasn't her goal from the start.

When she came out, Christian waited for her. "You might want to consider slowing down."

"Oh really," she said and noticed that it was hard to articulate the words. And that was all it took for the argument to take off. Christian blamed Gaga for being an irresponsible drunk, throwing everything away and not being serious about anything, and Gaga told him to keep his nose out of her business. Several combinations involving the word 'fuck' left her mouth and even if she managed to keep her voice low it was impossible for people nearby to miss what was going on.

It all ended with Christian leaving her standing by the wall. He walked away with his eyes firmly focused on the pattern of the carpet on the casino floor so he didn't have to look anyone he met in the eyes. Gaga took shallow breaths and leaned against the cold wall. "Fuck," she spat out and closed her eyes. After that she disappeared into a haze of alcohol.

\o/

Gaga woke up and refused to open her eyes. Her whole world already consisted of different colors spinning around like a merry-go-round without her having to take in the surroundings using her eyes as well. Her mouth felt like it had been lined with sand paper and her forehead like she had banged her head against a concrete wall a few hundred times. She swallowed and instantly regretted it since she noticed how nauseous it made her. Lying completely motionless would be the best solution.

She opened her mouth and took shallow breaths trying to ease down her stomach. It was making subtle cramps and her mouth suddenly watered. When the worst nausea had settled she opened her eyes. She turned her head slowly and to her surprise she noticed someone sleeping face down in the pillow next to her. She squinted her eyes and tried to focus. A cold tingling feeling drilled down her back as she didn't recognize the features of the person next to her immediately. Her hand crawled out from underneath the comforter and scrambled across the bedside table for her glasses.

"I'm fucking blind," she mumbled and finally got her hands on them. She pushed them up her nose and looked at the man sleeping next to her. "And just who the fuck are you?" she whispered.

The man made a little snoring sound, turned around and faced the other way but didn't wake up. She continued to stare at him and raised herself up on her elbows and looked around the room. The massive bedroom revealed no other secrets so she got out of the bed and walked inside the bathroom. She was butt naked and glanced at her phone on the way. It was 10 am and she had a feeling she had been drinking until early morning.

When she sat down on the toilet she got memory flashes of how the night unfolded. She tried to recall the bar. "Oh no, Christian," she remembered and buried her face in her palms. He had left after their heated argument. She didn't recall if he came back, but only had to look at her phone again to see his hundred messages to realize that it had not happened. She had not opened any of his messages so it was safe to say she had not replied.

She vaguely recalled returning to the bar, even sitting on the bar, eventually also getting behind the bar and making drinks for everyone. She recalled making up some kind of rainbow cocktail and trying to make it layered, and doing so extremely well. Who had she been talking to? A face appeared in front of her and when she realized who it was she exhaled loudly and closed her eyes.

He had been on to her since he got assigned to her Las Vegas residency. The monitoring guy with the in-ear pieces that he couldn't shut up about. She even remembered his name; Dan Horton.  

Fuck.

Gaga cleaned herself up a bit because she felt like she could feel the hangover seeping out of her pores. It was like breathing a little new life into her body when she washed her face. She didn't feel like she had sex, but still felt a little uneasy about dragging anyone back to her hotel.

She walked out into the kitchen and noticed the breakfast carriage that had been wheeled in through the staff entrance. She looked through all the plates. There were some bacon strips and slices of fruit that she picked out and hungrily stuffed into her mouth. She drank juice directly from a bottle and walked back into the bedroom with the bowls and plates.

She sat down on the bed and rested against the wall, still chewing on the bacon strips while she looked at the man next to her, wondering if Christian would come walking right in any second. Strangely enough it didn't even worry her or make her nervous. It's about time, she thought when Dan raised his head and looked at her through squinty eyelids.

"Good morning," he said while he exhaled and turned it into a yawn.

"Is it?" she said and put the plate down on the bedside table.

"How can you eat?" he muttered with his head buried in the pillow.

She scooted down a bit so she was closer to his face.

"You passed out," he said. "Nothing happened."

"That's a shame. And this room is supposed to be magic." She was somehow relieved he confirmed that they didn't have sex, but wondered how many guys her passing out would've stopped from carrying on anyway.

She smiled and moved closer. "I'm awake now." She raised her dark eyebrows so they turned into thick upside down v's above the frames of her glasses and Dan stared back into her eyes as if he couldn't believe who he had next to him.

She was naked apart from the glasses. The black frames had slipped down her nose and she pushed them back up. Her make up looked really lived in with the smudged eye liner and some lipstick remaining. He could see how her lips had been slightly overdrawn and the swollen lips parted when she smiled.

"Listen, umm…," he said and bit his lip. He had gazed upon all her naked glory yesterday. But even if it was mostly a blur, he still recalled how she had tasted and felt when they kissed. How soft she was and how she had laughed and pulled him along with her.

"Is it Christian?" she asked. She was lying on her side with her chin resting in her hand.

"No, you said it's over so I-"

She raised her perfect eyebrows again and he hesitated.

He narrowed his eyes again and rolled over on his back. "This is so fucking weird," he said and turned his face towards hers. She laughed, a deep, low, chuckling laughter. He was happy that she was happy, looked at her face and the loose hair falling down her cheeks and collarbones. He raised his hand to remove the hair from her cheek and then she stopped laughing and sucked her lip and looked into his eyes.

He reached behind her nape and pulled her close. Felt her lips against his and opened his mouth. His tongue felt coarse, but she didn't seem to mind. She put her hands on his shoulders when he raised himself up on his arms.

"I have a confession to make," she said and he paused halfway on top of her. "I don't remember a fucking thing from yesterday," she snorted out a laugh. "I'm sorry."

"OK," he said and let her go. "So we have to start over sort of?"

"Why are you here, Dan?" she asked.

"Oh, but you do know my name," he said and looked at her with a distraught smile. Then he continued, "You asked me to come with you." He was just about to get started and now she was asking questions. It was a little annoying.

"No, I mean, what made me ask that? Something must've caused a little spark." She raised her hand to her face and removed her glasses.

He watched her lying there, nearly drowning among the pillows and bedsheets. She was so beautiful. Her skin was without a single tan line, her visible collarbones and the slight dimple between them. He had kissed her there yesterday and she had giggled and the salty taste of her sweat had spread inside his mouth like a sweet drink.

"Honestly, I don't know," he said eventually. He felt her naked body against his. Her hands moved down to his boxers. "I complimented you a lot, I think." He raised his short, kind of sad eyebrows and looked like he was thinking hard. "What's not to compliment? You're smart, you're funny, you're beautiful and you're sexy." He sucked his lip and squinted his eyes at her.

"Fuck off. I would never have fallen for that," she said and looked into his eyes. They were really dark brown and his eyelids a little puffy.

She had an amazing smile. The lines by her cheeks and a little dimple on her right side.

"Did you chip your tooth?" he asked.

The smile disappeared and she licked her lips. She sighed and slipped under his arm and out of bed. He watched her narrow frame, the sculpted shoulder blades and the tattoos on her left side. He felt her tits against the inside of his arm and resisted the urge to touch her and pull her back into the bed.

She stood up and he watched her round butt as she walked over to a chair and picked up a nearly see-through robe that she swept around herself.

"Where are you going?"

She looked at him over her shoulder. "I'm gonna take a shower. Wanna join?"

He stared at her fully visible, perfect ass through the thin robe as she walked out of sight. "My god, you're such a tease," he muttered and tossed the comforter away and followed her into the bathroom. She dropped the robe on the floor and stepped into the shower.

She made it clear that she would not make any more invitations but he had to step forward if he was interested.

He opened the glass door after he had taken his boxers off and immediately let his hands glide down her shoulders. The warm water hit his back and she moved closer to the wall. He put his hands on her hips and she turned around. The warm drizzles bounced off her face when she raised her chin with her eyes closed. He kissed her while his hands moved up her belly towards her tits and the hard nipples. Bending forward, he placed his mouth over one and licked it. He caressed her body, everywhere he could reach. Felt her flawless skin and searched for imperfections that were't there.

His tongue inside her mouth, her gentle movements. The light moans when his fingers found the slit between her thighs. He moved two fingers against her clit, slowly up and down, a little lower with each stroke until he felt how the friction nearly disappeared and his fingers moved inside her. He felt her vagina tighten around his fingers and his thumb rubbed her pink nub as gentle as he could.

He kissed her neck, made her turn around and moved the hair away from her nape. It was very obvious that she enjoyed what he was doing as she let him move her around how he pleased and didn't object. In his head a thousand thoughts danced around, things he wanted to ask her, to talk to her about, he wanted to know all about her at once. But right now he had to settle with getting to know her body. Which obviously wasn't a bad thing.

She suddenly gave him a soap. A hard soap. "Don't drop it," she said and closed her eyes as he started to lather her entire body, down to her feet and between her toes. All the time he was so hard he thought he would pass out due to blood loss to the brain soon. He was thorough when he reached her butt, making a big deal out of stroking her cheeks and between them.

His hands moved over her belly, felt the little pout below her belly button and let his hands glide up to her tits. His fingers slipped underneath the fold and he noticed that her breasts felt more full than they looked. He cupped his hands and squeezed them and felt the soft flesh fill his hands and his thumbs gently rubbed over her nipples. Fuck, he wanted her.

Gaga felt his hands move gently across her body and didn't want it to end, even if she soon was so turned on she thought she would mentally bring herself to an orgasm just by anticipation. He knew exactly how to treat every tense spot on her body. It was like a massage. He knew when to go hard and when to play softer. She noticed that she was breathing through her mouth and how relaxed she was.

"My turn," she said when she considered him finished. He made a strange grunt and inhaled while he mentally prepared for her hands wandering all over his body. She let her hands glide across his chest and kept eye contact. He held his breath. Couldn't stand here with a belly pout, could he. She noticed and waited for him to exhale out of spite, then she grabbed his shaft and her lathered hands continued down, under his ballsack and he started taking controlled breaths.

The water ran between his asscheeks and down the back of his legs. She was standing out of range of the water when he made her lean forward and put a hand on her shoulder. She thrusted her ass towards him and he slowly penetrated her from behind. He put his hands on her hips, held her and pulled her towards him. The sensational feeling multiplied with each stroke. He pumped her as hard as he dared to, afraid that he might slip if he lost focus.

Her magnificent ass bounced against his crotch. Each shove ending deeper inside her. He moved his hand up to her neck, felt her hair between his fingers and grabbed it. The harder her fucked her, the more sounds she made.

His cock felt like it was inside her guts towards the end, the rapid movements and his grip in her hair. She could hardly move and when she came, and he continued his thrusts it made her nearly lose control. With nowhere to go she tried to keep her legs stable when the orgasm showered through her vagina and up through her belly. It felt like a thousand contractions rippled through her spine, down to her ass and pussy. The warmth spread like wildfire almost all the way up through her throat.

Dan pulled out and she heard him breathe faster, the wet thuds when he pulled a few last strokes and let his cum spill over the glittering wet tattoos on her tanned hip. The warm water hit her back and erased all traces within seconds, but he still had the beautiful image on his mind when she put her hands against the glass door to push herself up and turned around. She stepped closer and while he tried to calm down he put his hand on her cheek and kissed her.

"That was… undeniable the best… shower I ever had," he panted.

Gaga smiled that alluring smile she had been giving him since yesterday. The one he couldn't put his finger on what it meant. He was still breathing too fast when she turned the water off and stepped out of the shower. She tossed a towel into his arms and wiped herself dry. It took some time, like it was a meditational procedure not to be taken lightly upon.

Dan couldn't take his eyes off her. He stood there and wiped his chest without really knowing what he was doing. “You’re so damn perfect,” he said and made her look at him again. He stroke her hair and cheek and kissed her wet lips. She became soft in his arms and enjoyed his gentle kisses before she made him let her go so she could finish what she was doing.

She put the robe back on and started to struggle with a pulling a brush through her tangled wet hair while she walked out into the bedroom again. Dan heard noises from outside. It sounded like a door opening and footsteps and then he heard voices so he walked out with the towel around his waist to see what was going on.

"Where the fuck have you been?" was the first thing Gaga said when Christian appeared in the doorway.

"Have you even looked at the time? It's nearly 12 and you've just woken up? We're leaving soon. I have been calling you for an hour."

Their argument took off right where they left it yesterday. She glanced down at her phone on the table.

"Fine," she said when she saw the additional rows of missed calls and texts. She thanked the heavens she had it muted. "You could've come over here yourself or asked someone else if you're so concerned," she muttered and pulled the belt tighter around her waist.

Dan stood by the wall inside the bedroom with his underwear in his hands and snuck his legs into them. He was trying to blend into the decorated walls so he didn't disturb the other two. He felt like he was inside some massive Versace brain orgasm, gold and heavy curtains and vases and ornaments everywhere. He put his shirt on and started buttoning it when he noticed that Christian's eyes swept past the wall where Dan was standing. It was like it took a few seconds for the man's brain to register what he saw and when he did he turned towards Gaga.

"What the actual fuck, Stef!" he said. Even louder than before. "What the fuck happened here last night?"

"Nothing happened," she picked up a pillow and found her thong. She tossed it in the pile of clothes she had worn yesterday and looked up at Christian. With raised eyebrows she truthfully added, "I passed out."

Christian looked like he didn't believe that for a second. He pretended Dan didn't exist. "Maybe. But the intention was…" he said but didn't finish the sentence. He was worried, angry and hurt. This was not how it was supposed to end. He didn't even get a chance to make it right. "Can we talk about this later, without an audience?"

"There is no later, Christian. We're done." She had her back turned and looked for something to wear.

He, in turn, also turned away from her, refusing to accept her words and muttered, "Just get ready." He looked at Dan and pressed his lips together. "You work on the show. It's Dan, right?"

Dan nodded from his corner. Christian stood in the middle of the floor and looked like he wished he could undo the last 2 weeks by snapping his fingers.

Christian left them and walked out the door, firmly closing it behind him.

"I'm sorry about that," Gaga said and had eventually put clothes on from the rack by the windows. She looked stressed, but not because they would leave without her - as if that would ever happen. She wore sweatpants and a large hoodie and Dan was amazed at the fact that she could wear anything and still look like a gazillion dollars.

"It's so typical of him to just walk out instead of trying to sort it out." She was aware she had been doing the same thing these last few days, but it was easier to blame him now that she had a solution right in front of her in the shape of a man.

Dan stroke his fingers across his head and tried to make some kind of decent look out of the still wet hair.

"I thought you were… I mean you said-"

"Never mind, I'm glad it happened." She put her hands up and chopped once into the air in front of her.

"It's just a few days. Why are you leaving?" Dan asked and sat down to put his socks on.

"I want to go home."

"Won't he be there?" He nodded towards the door where Christian had left.

Gaga laughed. "He doesn't live with me. I would never let a man inside my palace." She gave him a glance and he noted her dark lashes and her massive eyelids. Her eyes were huge and glittered green when she met his gaze. Her wet lips were dark pink and soft. He saw her tongue when she pressed it against the inside of her teeth and looked thoughtful. She reached for her glasses on the table and put them on.

"I just need a smoke and I'm ready to go," she picked up a pack of cigarettes and put her feet into a pair of Uggs. She walked towards the front door and put her head down as she lit the cigarette and pushed the door open. The car was waiting outside and she took a long greedy drag before she placed her ass in the front passenger seat. She turned her head towards Dan who pulled out a phone from his backpocket so that he wouldn't look like an idiot just standing there.

She put the cigarette between her lips and took the phone out of his hands. She opened the app for messages, made a new message and put her number in. Then she gave him his phone back and blew a kiss. "See ya later," she said and the driver closed the door right in front of the speechless man.  

Pt. 4: “I’m stuck in this bed you made.” | 

[brandi-the-fine-girl]

76th Golden Globe Awards Predictions

Let’s be real here.  The Golden Globes are the biggest joke of Hollywood (right after the Emmy’s that is).  Remember when they nominated The Tourist in the Comedy/Musical category?  Or when they gave the Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actress to Jennifer Lawrence instead of Lupita Nyong’o?  Or when Get Out was nominated in Comedy/Musical (even though, yes, it was a dark comedy at times)?

So it comes as no surprise that this year’s list of nominees follows the same path.  The Golden Globes are the biggest wild card of all award shows and the Hollywood Foreign Press loves to throw curveballs.  With that said, here are my predictions for the 76th Golden Globe Awards.

Best Motion Picture - Drama

Will win:  A Star Is Born

Should win:  A Star Is Born

Dark Horse:  Black Panther

Look, I loved Black Panther.  And the fact that it has gained this much momentum during award season is a victory for Marvel Studios.  But I’m expecting a sweep for A Star Is Born.  Now, that doesn’t mean ASIB will maintain this momentum for the rest of award season.  The HFPA likes to play favorites and I’m sure ASIB will be this year’s Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (which won four Golden Globes last year).  But a win for Black Panther would be huge and make it a bigger contender for the Oscars.

Best Motion Picture - Comedy/Musical

Will win:  Green Book

Should win:  Crazy Rich Asians

Dark Horse:  Mary Poppins Returns

The Comedy/Musical category is always the oddball category (see above about The Tourist and Get Out).  And it’s typically the category where anyone can win.  I’m going to go with Green Book since it won the People’s Choice at TIFF this year but with a diverse voting roster (it is the Hollywood FOREIGN Press after all), I wouldn’t count out Crazy Rich Asians.

Best Director

Will win: Alfonso Cuaron, Roma

Should win:  Alfonso Cuaron, Roma

Dark Horse:  Adam McKay, Vice

For me, I believe this is the only category A Star Is Born will not win.  Cuaron’s beautifully stunning and heartbreaking semi-autobiographical film was featured on Obama’s list of films he saw in 2018.  Bradley Cooper’s first directorial feature is a stunning accomplishment but it doesn’t match Cuaron’s ability to paint the anguish and loss in Roma.

Best Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama

Will win: Bradley Cooper, A Star Is Born

Should win:  Rami Malek, Bohemian Rhapsody

Dark Horse:  John David Washington, BlacKkKlansman

With a possible loss in the Directing category, Bradley will most like scoop up the Actor in a Drama award.  Sure, his character was doomed from the start and it makes for a great challenge for an actor like Bradley.  But Rami’s complete transformation into Freddie Mercury has me convinced he should win.  Don’t count out John David Washington in BlacKkKlansman though.  He’s new to the scene as an actor (he is Denzel Washington’s son) but his performance is definitely one to look out for.

Best Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama

Will win:  Lady Gaga, A Star Is Born

Should win:  Glenn Close, The Wife

Dark Horse:  Melissa McCarthy, Can You Ever Forgive Me?

Once again, I’m predicting a sweep for A Star Is Born but I don’t think Lady Gaga will snag two Oscars come Oscar night (that is, if she is nominated for songwriting and Best Actress).  Glenn Close is well overdue for some awards love and it seems like her time might come.

Best Actor in a Motion Picture - Comedy/Musical

Will win:  Christian Bale, Vice

Should win:  Christian Bale, Vice

Dark Horse:  Lin-Manuel Miranda, Mary Poppins Returns

It’s hard for me to choose anyone else when Christian Bale is in a category.  This is the man that got rail thin for his roles in The Machinist and The Fighter (the latter of which he did win Best Supporting Actor at the Oscars) and bulked up for Batman Begins (gaining 100 pounds) almost six months after filming The Machinist.  His transformation into the notorious Dick Cheney seems like typical awards bait to me.  But let’s not count out the lovable Lin-Manuel Miranda.  The man works hard on stage and screen.  I’d love to see a win for him

Best Actress in a Motion Picture - Comedy/Musical

Will win:  Olivia Colman, The Favourite

Should win:  Constance Wu, Crazy Rich Asians

Dark Horse:  Emily Blunt, Mary Poppins Returns

The category is such a wild card for me.  I’m sure by the end of 2019, everyone will know who Olivia Colman is.  From the little bit I’ve seen of The Favourite, she’s amazing.  However, I do think Constance Wu is more deserving of the accolades.  This category could really go to anyone and with the lovable Emily Blunt also nominated, it could possibly go to the legendary Mary Poppins herself.

Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture

Will win:  Mahershala Ali, Green Book

Should win:  Timothée Chalamet, Beautiful Boy

Dark Horse:  Adam Driver, BlacKkKlansman

Look, before you rip me to shreds, here me out.  I have loved Mahershala Ali since he was on House of Cards and he was painfully robbed in 2017 when the HFPA gave Best Supporting Actor to Aaron Taylor-Johnson instead of Mahershala.  It feels like Mahershala deserves the accolades as a “sorry we gave it to someone else and then you ended up winning the Oscar anyways.”  However, I just watched Beautiful Boy last night and Timothée kills it.  I’m not some crazy fangirl.  I just know a good performance when I see one.  Let’s not count out Adam Driver, though, who knocks it out of the park in BlacKkKlansman.

Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture

Will win: Amy Adams, Vice

Should win:  Regina King, If Beale Street Could Talk

Dark Horse:  Claire Foy, First Man

Since Amy Adams most likely won’t win for Best Actress in Mini Series (more on that later), I’m hoping this is where she gets her due.  The woman is long overdue for the awards love (a lot like Glenn Close).  She’s basically the female Leonardo DiCaprio, if you must.  The fact that Regina King did not nab a SAG Award nomination for If Beale Street Could Talk is a little ominous (side note: the acting branch is the largest branch of the Academy and a lack of SAG nomination is very telling).  I like to hope that she can pick up a Globe as recognition for her stunning work.  To me, Rachel Weisz and Emma Stone split the vote so my Dark Horse goes to Claire Foy.  I wouldn’t be surprised if HFPA voters’ obsession with her throws us a curveball in this category.

Best Screenplay

Will win:  Adam McKay, Vice

Should win:  Alfonso Cuaron, Roma

Dark Horse:  Bryan Hayes Currie, Peter Farrelly, Nick Vallelonga, Green Book

This is usually a difficult category considering the Oscars split the Screenplay category into Adapted and Original.  The HFPA likes to play it safe by awarding previous winners and nominees so I’m going with Adam McKay who won the Oscar for The Big Short.  Alfonso Cuaron is equally deserving if Best Director doesn’t go his way.  But come Oscar time, I’m expecting a win for Green Book.

Best Original Score

Will win:  Alexandre Desplat, Isle of Dogs

Should win:  Ludwig Goransson, Black Panther

Dark Horse:  Marco Beltrami, A Quiet Place

Alexandre Desplat won last year for The Shape of Water (a well-deserved win if I do say so myself) but I feel Ludwig Goransson may have a chance here.

Best Original Song

Will win:  “Shallow”

Should win:  “Shallow” or “All The Stars”

Dark Horse:  “Girl in the Movies”

Probably the easiest category of the evening.  You can’t turn on any radio station without hearing “Shallow.”  And rightfully so.  The dynamic between Bradley and Gaga is mesmerizing and Gaga’s high note is the most memorable part of it.  However, I wouldn’t mind some recognition to “All The Stars.”  Personally, I feel like “Pray For Me” is the better song but let’s give some love to Kendrick and SZA if we can.

Best Animated Feature Film

Will win: The Incredibles 2

Should win:  The Incredibles 2

Dark Horse:  Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

I mean, no contest, this one goes to The Incredibles 2.  Very rarely does Pixar lose an award (exceptions go to Cars 2 and Monsters University) but if it does, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse might take it.

Best Foreign Language Film

Will win:  Roma

Should win:  Roma

Dark Horse:  Girl

Again, no contest, Roma.  But Girl could take it since it won the Caméra d’Or and the Queer Palm at the Cannes Film Festival in 2018.  Unfortunately, the film did not make the short list for the Best Foreign Language Film category for this year’s Oscars so maybe it may get its due here.

Best Television Series - Drama

Will win:  The Americans

Should win:  The Americans

Dark Horse:  Pose

After six seasons, The Americans ended on a high note.  It felt painfully under-appreciated at the Emmys this year, so maybe this is where it will get its due.  However, don’t overlook Pose since everything Ryan Murphy touches turns to awards gold.

Best Television Series - Comedy/Musical

Will win:  Barry

Should win:  Barry

Dark Horse:  Kidding

After winning big at the Emmys, I’m predicting some major love for Barry.  The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel is last year’s winner which may hinder Barry’s chances but the HFPA does tend to choose different winners every year.

Best Actor in a Television Series - Drama

Will win:  Matthew Rhys, The Americans

Should win:  Matthew Rhys, The Americans

Dark Horse:  Richard Madden, Bodyguard

After scooping up an Emmy, Matthew Rhys will probably continue his awards sweep with a Golden Globe.  Billy Porter may give him a run for his money in Pose (he was also wonderful in American Horror Story: Apocalypse).  If we want a shocker, the HFPA could go with Richard Madden in Bodyguard.  Good looks aside, Madden portrays a former British Army sergeant with PTSD fantastically.  It is unclear if Bodyguard has been greenlit for a second season but a Globes win might cement that status.

Best Actress in a Television Series - Drama

Will win: Sandra Oh, Killing Eve

Should win:  Keri Russell, The Americans

Dark Horse:  Julia Roberts, Homecoming

One half of our emcees for the evening, expect Sandra Oh to pick up a Globe as well.  Keri Russell was horribly robbed at the Emmys so she is more deserving for her final season of The Americans.  America’s Sweetheart Julia Roberts is a threat to these two with the inaugural season of her Amazon Prime series Homecoming.  Here’s where you can possibly expect a big shocker but I’m still sticking with Ms. Christina Yang herself.

Best Actor in a Television Series - Comedy/Musical

Will win:  Bill Hader, Barry

Should win:  Bill Hader, Barry

Dark Horse:  Jim Carrey, Kidding

I’ve always had a soft spot for Bill Hader since he was on Saturday Night Live.  Starring as a former Marine-turned hitman-turned aspiring actor is the most Bill Hader thing that Bill Hader could possibly do.  Jim Carrey has been placing himself more in the comedy/drama (aka “dramedy”) category as of recent years so don’t count him out in this race.

Best Actress in a Television Series - Comedy/Musical

Will win:  Rachel Brosnahan, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

Should win:  Alison Brie, GLOW

Dark Horse:  Kristen Bell, The Good Place

Rachel Brosnahan could possibly be a repeat winner here.  Season two of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel is getting just as great reviews as season one did (if not as great, then better).  Personally, I feel Alison Brie deserves it but Candice Bergen may come through with the win as well.  However, this Kristen Bell’s first-ever Golden Globe nomination so she could very well take it.

Best Actor in a Miniseries or Television Film

Will win:  Darren Criss, The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story

Should win:  Darren Criss, The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story

Dark Horse:  Hugh Grant, A Very English Scandal

We’ve come a long way since A Very Potter Musical, haven’t we?  Darren Criss’s portrayal as Versace’s murderer Andrew Cunanan is one of the best performances I’ve seen in recent years.  The creepy smile underneath his hand as he sees the news that Versace has been killed makes him a lock for this category.

Best Actress in a Miniseries or Television Film

Will win:  Laura Dern, The Tale

Should win:  Amy Adams, Sharp Objects

Dark Horse:  Regina King, Seven Seconds

Like I said above, I’m hoping Amy Adams will get her due in the Best Supporting Actress category because it seems like she won’t get it here.  Laura Dern is a favorite of the HFPA so she most likely will win.  Amy Adams is the more deserving here but if things don’t work out for Best Supporting Actress, I’m hoping the HFPA does a flip-flop gives it to her here.  Regina King won the Emmy for Seven Seconds but she seems like a long shot here.

Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Miniseries, or Television Film

Will win:  Henry Winkler, Barry

Should win:  Edgar Ramirez, The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story

Dark Horse:  Kieran Culkin, Succession

It’s always been odd to me that the Golden Globes don’t split their supporting television categories.  Sure, it makes for great competition but it’s also incredibly unfair.  I’m going with Henry Winkler in Barry (who was well overdue for that Emmy) but Edgar Ramirez definitely should be the winner in my eyes.  Kieran Culkin (the only nominee for HBO’s Succession) could pull a surprise win here.

Best Supporting Actress in a Series, Miniseries, or Television Film

Will win:  Penélope Cruz, The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story

Should win: Penélope Cruz, The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story OR Patricia Clarkson, Sharp Objects OR Thandie Newton, Westworld

Dark Horse:  Yvonne Strahovski, The Handmaid’s Tale

This is, quite possibly, the most competitive category of the entire award show.  And, yet again, another reason why it’s absurd that the Golden Globes don’t split their supporting television categories.  Alex Borstein and Thandie Newton both have the upper hand in this category since they both won Emmys in the supporting actress categories in comedy and drama, respectively. But their recent Emmy wins could cancel them out, making way for either Penélope Cruz or Patricia Clarkson to nab the award.  I’m going with Penélope though since she was robbed of the Emmy.  I am hoping for an Emmy win for Patricia Clarkson come September.

Best Miniseries or Television Film

Will win:  The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story

Should win:  The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story

Dark Horse:  A Very English Scandal

Riveting from start to finish with stunning performances from the cast, Versace is a lock.  In any other year, I’d give it to Sharp Objects but the show also lagged a bit.  If I hadn’t read the book, I might have been bored.  The series was more of a performance piece for the actors instead of being a masterpiece as a whole.  Versace has it all.  And, of course, it’s another Ryan Murphy masterpiece.  

Andy Samberg and Sandra Oh host the 76th Golden Globe Awards on Sunday, January 6 at 8 pm EST/5:00 pm PST.

[thequlturecritic]

QULTURE’S TOP 20 SERIES OF 2018

20.  BUSY TONIGHT

You guys! Good energy is, like, totally in right now. And it’s never going away. You may know her from Freaks and Geeks, but I know her from Cougar Town as CC’s fun-loving, super-supportive sidekick. When you watch Busy Phillips on her cheeky, positive-vibes only E! talk show, a sense of “we’re all in this together” and “being kind to one another” is definitely a recipe for demolishing disaster. Remember how major Chelsea’s career became because of what so many probably considered a silly little talk show… well. I’m not a fortune teller or anything, but I could totally see Ms. Phillips taking over the universe. I want to be one of her minions. Cheers to another leading lady of late night! 

19. THE VOICE

I’ve always been anti-reality competition shows when it comes to singing, only because I’m a total snob when it comes to what I subject my ears to. My musical tastes are versed and varied, but I still am pretty picky about who I let in to my drums, mostly because I need it to stimulate an eargasm and coincide with my life’s soundtrack. When American Idol launched, I definitely was enamored with Kelly Clarkson’s powerful vocals, but I still kept the close mind that an artist is discovered naturally, not “created” by producers with the backdrop and illusion that AMERICA gets to vote and pick the winner. Ah, who knows, maybe they do… I would just never take the time out to vote. HOWEVER. When I found out Kelly was going to be a judge on The Voice, which is a whole separate animal than Idol, I was shitting my pants with glee, because she really is such a goddamn force of fucking nature. Her spirit is overwhelmingly angelic and I simply love everything about watching her. Last season’s competition was magical, at least for me, perhaps because it was the first time I really got to experience the message and place the show has in the universe. It really is inspiring and lovely to see how much these artists themselves care for the teams they build and the individuals they want to see grow – regardless of whether or not it leads to fame. Alicia Keys and Kelly Clarkson’s dynamic was really something special that inspired me in so many ways.

18. COMEDIANS IN CARS GETTING COFFEE

I love nothing more than a loose format, sans makeup, realistic conversation between famous people. Talk shows rock and all, but there’s something to be said for two people we all know and (often) admire, getting together and doing something that, ya know, regular people do! Like… go out to breakfast. I was never a fan of the Seinfeld sitcom, mostly because when it was popular it was kinda over my head and nothing that interested me. I’d probably be more inclined to watch and enjoy it now because of how much Veep has made me adore Julia-Louis Dreyfus and now much Jerry Seinfeld’s Netflix series about him… getting coffee… with comedians… has made me adore his admiration for vintage cars, honesty in humanity and one of the most important things we all seem to forget sometimes – which is to LAUGH! We live in such politically charged times, and while I get how important it is to talk about the very things we were always brainwashed to believe were impolite to talk about, we also need to be able to make jokes and not be so sensitive about everything. Ya heard?

17. AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL

Oh how I love me some Tyra, but it seems the future is all about Ashley Graham. Yet again – another fucking beautiful superhuman. I am really starting to hate that people even think of someone as “plus size”, but hey, it’s the world we live in. All I see when I look at her is someone with a whole lot of personality, gorgeous features and a personality that you’d be crazy to not gravitate toward. She is living proof that good vibes, energy and kindness (in the fashion industry?! How dare you!) go a long way. Tyra and Co. are doing such a bang-up job sending young women empowering messages about feeling safe in their own skin by infusing all shapes, sizes, colors and archetypes. This cycle was full of hilarious moments and was totally unpredictable. Despite her Trump-loving, Republican ways and complaining about being transformed into a “fire-crotch”, I was rooting for Liberty, Rio and Jeana to compete in the Top 3. That certainly evolved as the season went on, mainly because Jeana’s insecurities were getting the best of her (she had alopecia and they convinced her to be the alien-like, bald beauty – which she looked 10X better as vs. wearing wigs) and Rio had the most off-putting temper tantrum that had me and my bestie Carlee yelling at the the TV, “Who da fuck you think you talkin’ to?!” as if we were speaking for Tyra. Be humble, girls! Beauty ain’t just skin deep. At the end of the day, I loved seeing Kyla take the crown, because her activism, big heart and growth really was something special at the end of the day. Keep up the good work! I want 1000 more cycles.

16. SWEETBITTER

Starz’s adaptation of the best-selling novel by Stephanie Danler is short, but bittersweet. Ella Purnell is a breakout star, headlining the cast of unknowns who are all as equally as fantastic. I think that’s one of my favorite things about it (Caitlin Fitzgerald, in particular, who definitely has that thing) – how naturally gifted the entire cast is. Purnell stars as Tess, an All-American girl from bumfuck who makes her way to New York City to chase the dream, even if she has no idea what it is yet. Any of you who have worked in the service industry as a waiter or waitress will appreciate the authenticity of how intimidating, grueling and chaotic the industry can be… but how much fun it can be once your shift is over.

15. MANIAC

What is Netflix’s limited, vivid, disturbing, funny, emotional rollercoaster about? My brain is exploding from trying to analyze. Typically, in each episode, I get so lost in the perfection that is Emma Stone, I’m completely enthralled by how inspiring it is to watch one of our most exceptional young talents only seem to get better and better. It’s also always a pleasant surprise to see someone like Jonah Hill continue to prove himself as truly versatile. Remember when these two were just getting into stoner cinema and taking over the shelves at Blockbuster, during their Superbad days? Justin Theroux, plus. Sally Field, super-plus. Julia Garner (also of Ozark), a star on the rise! It might make you feel a little crazy while watching, but hey, we all go a little mad sometimes.

14. SHARP OBJECTS

Gillian Flynn’s book to big screen success with Gone Girl made a lot of us anxious to see what would be translated next. Following the trend of mini-series, binge-worthy greatness and big stars coming to the “small” screen, HBO announced Amy Adams would star in Sharp Objects, a dark, sultry murder mystery set in the swampy south that co-stars the amazing Patricia Clarkson – one of my absolute favorite actors. I’ll never forget when I “discovered” her, in Lisa Cholodenko’s High Art, one of my all-time faves. There’s a similar hypnotism with the limited series which also features a deliciously naked Chris Messina, and, of course, the direction of the man I’d say is pretty much cinematic perfection these days – Jean Marc Valee. If you have not yet seen Dallas Buyers Club, and another all-time favorite of mine, Wild, you are missing out. I’m assuming you have watched all of Big Little Lies once or twice, and can’t wait for season two next year. Neither can I. These are the people doing AWESOME awesome things in Hollywood.

13. AMERICAN HORROR STORY: APOCALYPSE

So, I’m always back and forth with AHS. I always love how visually stunning it is, but some seasons either lack substance or are literally just too fucking freaky for me to engage. I can not even set my eyes on Freak Show, thought Cults was too gory and scattered (although fresh off of the Trump presidency was a possible prediction of the future if we don’t all get our shit together) and definitely didn’t even give that Roanoke one a chance. The first two seasons rocked, and Gaga slayed in Hotel, but being that I love witches (Hocus Pocus, Witches of Eastwick) I have to say Coven is my favorite season. I love every Farmiga in life, Precious’ Gaborey Sidibe always makes me laugh and Emma Roberts is a rock star. How gorgeous?! She’s also such a little asshole in the best way. She’s someone I can picture punching me in the face, and I’d invite her to. Apocalypse is the best infusion of boy/girl magic and the ultimate comradery casting wise – as what could make for a perfect finale for the series ties all of Ryan Murphy’s brilliance together. That’s just my opinion – because I think a great series needs to know when to wrap it up, but these days everything is all about milking everything to the last drop, so… idk.

12. THE CONNERS

Roseanne returning was definitely the best of the best in reboot land, until her big mouth got her fired from ABC and launched The Conners, which features the entire cast minus a dead mother. I still respect her as an artist and will always love when TV wasn’t so linked to the Twitterverse, but these days I guess everyone really does have to be super careful about the shit they say – especially when we should know better that racism isn’t cool. It’s such an odd thing, because Roseanne was always so controversial, brave with their material, and was one of the first shows to have an out lesbian comedian/actress and character (the great Sandra Bernhard)… so… idk. That Sarah Gilbert though… she’s somethin’ special.

11. THE GOOD PLACE

Kristen Bell!!!!!!! That’s all. Ok, well, that’s not all… because Ted Danson is equally as amazing. Who wouldn’t love someone married to a dame like Mary Steenburgen?! I’ve been a fan of his since Three Men (and a Little Lady!). The diversity, quick wit, modern spin on the classic sitcom and concept behind this hit NBC series reminds us of why the network is always killing it when it comes to delivering quality, quantity and maintaining its colorful edge. I’m surprised I didn’t get into this show when it premiered, as season 4 approaches and the Globes, and surely the Emmy’s now are getting into recognizing genius when they see it. This show is filled with all the good feels! Maybe Heaven really is a place on Earth.

10. WILL & GRACE

When the reboot of W&G first returned to NBC, I was a bit underwhelmed by some of the writing. It seemed forced and a bit insecure – but it just took a few episodes for them to really get back in the swing of things and season 2 of the return is really on point. Debra Messing is better than ever (congrats on a Globe nomination!), as are Eric, Megan and Sean Hayes – who I’ve always greatly admired because of, what I like to consider his “big break” – the film, Billy’s Hollywood Screen Kiss. Growing up gay, Will and Grace was a trailblazing, extremely important and relevant show to so many of us because there wasn’t much of that on TV. But I’ll always remember that adorable indie of Sean’s. He should make more movies! I love him in Pieces of April too!

9. I LOVE YOU AMERICA: with SARAH SILVERMAN

Sarah has always been my absolute favorite comedian. Jesus is Magic is probably one of the most brilliant stand-up comedy feature films I’ve ever seen (are there many of those) combining music, comedy, political satire, sexually inappropriate and explicit linguistics… nothing is off limits. From jokes about AIDS, Martin Luther King Jr. and the Holocaust, to her dead grandmother’s rape to pussy jokes about child lesbians she’s related to. On her new Hulu series, Silverman takes a tour of the great country we live in, United States of A, talking to Trump supporters, men and women of all colors, shapes and sizes and makes an honest, unbiased, non-judgmental effort to deliver an intellectual perspective on all things current and heated in the minds of many. I love her condescending approach, ability to keep her cool, remain true to herself and do something important with her career. It’s a humbled and divine dose of reality that I think we all need, as at the end of the day she’s basically trying to unite us and get people to understand that despite our differences, respect and kindness can truly inspire change.

8. POSE

First of all – watch Paris is Burning, if you’ve never seen it.

I remember when I worked for the super cool East-coast indie video chain, TLA Video, it was one of the most popular rentals in our Gay and Lesbian section, as it should be. It’s a classic documentary that captures the heart, sole and strut of African American LGBTQ culture during the AIDS epidemic, when being a queen and going to the balls would begin to define what FIERCE meant for a generation. (Play: Azealia Banks, Fierce). It’s one of RuPaul’s favorite movies and certainly inspiration for Ryan Murphy’s vivid and heartfelt FX series starring Evan Peters, James Van Der Beek, Kate Mara and a wonderful assortment of newcomers including the fetch, fierce, versatile and gorgeous MJ Rodriguez, Dominique Jackson and (MY FAVE) Indya Moore.

7. CAMPING

Ever since 13 Going on 30, I’ve known Jennifer Garner was a unicorn. She has that innate ability to charm, impress and entertain us with charisma and natural comedic talent. When it comes to the American adaptation of the Brit series Camping, developed for HBO (in part with Girls’ master Lena Dunham), the team surely arranged the most perfect blend of talent for both behind and in front of the camera. Garner brings the most complicated and hilarious nuances to her character and proves she is more than capable of leading a most diverse and perfectly perfect blend of talent.

6. OZARK

Janet McTeer!! OMG! This woman is amazing and really the force that makes the sophomore season of the hit Netflix drug smuggling/money laundering/gangsta livin’ series all the more bombastic. Sure, Jason Bateman continues to be awesome in every way, but the women on the latest season (even the creepy old meth lady who wants a baby at 99) really slay and own the show, keeping us on the edges of our seats and beyond impressed with how hard anyone with a vagina is proving that they are taking over the world these days. As if we needed more reasons to be obsessed with Laura Linney – she takes her character to new heights, getting more screen time and really being thrust into a more evolved dynamic – sort of how Robin Wright does on House of Cards. As though the audience was more drawn to the female than the male lead the series was built around. But Janet McTeer?! Holy fuck, Janet McTeer. She’ll make your skin crawl and keep you up at night… binge-watching.

5. THE AFFAIR

Showtime’s scandalous, suspenseful and intricate portrait of love, marriage and infidelity has been one of my must-see series since its debut. The entire cast is pure magic, especially the four leads – Dominic West, Ruth Wilson, Maura Tierney and Joshua Jackson. I’m constantly lobbying for Tierney, who continues to blow my mind with everything from those perfect, pouty lips to the way she can make my heart melt with a single tear. Last season, the twists and turns were so unexpected – something so refreshing these days when it comes to storytelling – that none of us could’ve ever seen coming what we now have to go into season five knowing (and grieving with, in my case). This is one of of those shows that stands tall from start to finish, and continues to inspire the way character and perspective is conveyed, as well as how we process it ourselves as an audience. I’ve always been fascinated by the same story being told through different goggles – kind of like in The Rules of Attraction, or Go. I can’t wait to see how this show wraps up, as I am pretty certain we move into the final act, which in itself is always a great quality for a series to know when to wrap it up.

4. HERE & NOW

Alan Ball, oh how I love thee. In the evidence of his brilliance, my affection toward Ball’s beautiful writing and ability to conduct such a beautiful cinematic symphony began with Six Feet Under, as it did most. If ever there were a perfect start to finish series… Rare is the artistic bird who can take such a celebrated drama and weave the social and political issues into a horror series – which is what he did with the addictive True Blood, a show that I would find myself equally hypnotized and aroused by. Ball’s latest gem is yet again a celebration of why we love HBO, his observant mind and heart, and ability to recognize genius when he sees it, in regard to casting. The always wonderful Holly Hunter and Tim Robbins headline a cast of brave, beautiful talents – including the tiny miracle that is the birth-child of Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon, Sosie, who is one of my favorite actors/characters in this captivating new drama that celebrates all the feels of our current reality. It’s a mixed blend of understanding the human condition and how people of all walks relate to one another while truggling with matters of the heart and psychological warfare.

3. RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE

For ten seasons now, Queen of Drag, RuPaul Charles has been taking her dynasty and giving it a royal upgrade every season with eye-popping elements that consistently allow this groundbreaking competition series to be one of queer and pop culture’s most celebrated. From the guest judges (Season X premiered with a Farrah Moan-esque Christina Aguilera dolled up for all the queens to gag over, which they did – myself included) to Michelle Visage’s dazzling eyewear collection to the costumes to the casting and the challenges – which get more and more innovative – Rupaul’s Drag Race has become a small empire that has the promise to spinning into so many different types of series and assure celebrity drag careers are a thing of the future, now more than ever. I loved the queens this season, especially my future husband Kameron Michaels (beautiful inside and out, boy or girl) and the well-deserved winner Aquaria. This was the second season in a row for me (I haven’t seen a lot of the previous seasons) where Ru got it absolutely perfect. I’m also a huge fan of Vice’s The Trixie and Katya Show which you should get into as well!

2. THE MARVELOUS MRS. MAISEL

All of the hype surrounding the Golden Globe & Emmy winning Amazon Prime series starring the incomparable Rachel Brosnahan as Mrs. Maisel, is the type of perfection that isn’t all-talk. Everything you’ve heard about this hilarious gem of a binge-worthy comedy is true: the costumes, the production design, the brilliant performances, directing and top-notch writing is on trend with celebrating everything we love about women in the world right now, and the time capsule reminds us of how far everyone has come marching to the beat of optimism and fighting for equality. I’m so happy the great Alex Borstein has been honored and been receiving praise for her work, and rightfully so, as she steals scenes from the great Maisel herself in the latest season. It’s truly one of the best watches out there, so get into it!

1. SCHITT’S CREEK

What started out as a little Canadian sitcom from a then unknown Pop TV, has since become a pop culture phenomenon and one of the small screen’s most celebrated, quoted and adored comedies out there. In Season four, we continue to follow the Rose’s on their journey of personal growth, going from riches to rags in a small bumfuck town where they clearly stick out like a redneck tooth fairy for plenty of good reasons. We already knew Catherine O’Hara and Eugene Levy were totes brilliant, but every season I grow more and more enamored with how crazy talented Dan Levy & Annie Murphy are. Their nuances, the way the arcs of their characters have evolved… it’s like their learning from two comic legends and its working for them every step of the way. This is truly already an iconic, feel good show that is spreading such messages of love and beauty throughout society. Loves it!