#sandeul would probably be the next most likely to

[shinwhoohoo]

i've been thinking about why a3 stayed in wm recently. i honestly kinda expected sandeul to have left wm because there are probably so many other companies out there who have offered him better things, so i wonder if his choice to stay involved staying for cnu and channie too. like, did the 3 of them, more than staying /in/ wm, chose to stay /with/ each other?? am i making sense idk haha

I believe it was hinted (possibly confirmed) that other agencies were trying to scout both Jinyoung and Sandeul, so it’s very likely that Sandeul wound up turning multiple other companies down in deciding to stay with WM. 

As for his reasoning, I’m sure there’s a few things to consider: First off, I think Sandeul is actually quite a loyal person. I think he’s much like CNU in this aspect. So even if other companies did come to him with better offers, unless they were significantly that much better, I could see him staying with WM out of loyalty (and partly just because of comfortability, it being where he’s been these last 10 years).

Second, I think Sandeul has very clear-cut, realistic goals for himself, and he isn’t necessarily an over-achiever in the same vain that Jinyoung is. He’s not looking to be the best musical star in South Korea, or the most well known ballad singer, etc. He’s just out there trying to be the best he can be, and I can respect him for that. Because of this, I think this adds another reason on top of why he probably wasn’t too interested in moving on to another, presumably bigger, more well-known, company. WM as gotten him this far, and I think he’s likely quite content with that and where he is. It’s probably important to mention here that he’s one of the more well-known members to the public already, just being under WM.

Thirdly, going by relationships… CNU, Sandeul and Gongchan are obviously a close trio, even prior to this news. They mesh well. That being said, Baro and him were obviously very close too.  While there were times over the years of being a BANA I felt that ‘Badeul’ was shoved down my throat (lol), I’d have to also admit their bond was genuine, especially with them being same-age friends. So, idk tbh. I could see A3 choosing to stay together more so because of the fact that they all are more content in their current situations more so than because they felt the need to actually stay with one another? Though I’m sure them being able to stay together made them feel better about staying with WM, so I’m not saying there isn’t any truth in that– just that I don’t think (for Sandeul at least) that was necessarily a deciding factor. (But like for Gongchan, for example, I could see this being a deciding factor for sure.)

[floralseokjin]

The Zoom Halloween Party

⇢ and beyond timeline (after crystallised)

[saga index] [drabble index]

 kim seokjin x reader // slice of life, humour // 2,556 words  

a/n; thank you to all the anons who gave me ideas for this halloween drabble, it wouldn’t exist without you! 

“I have to say your costumes are pretty lame this year, you guys.”

“We’re having a Halloween party over fucking zoom, forgive us for not going all out.” 

Seokjin bit straight away, unable to help it. He and Namjoon were like cat and mouse at all times, but even you had to admit to being offended by your friend’s dismissal. 

Halloween was finally here, and while you couldn’t celebrate in person together, the marvels of technology were letting you celebrate virtually – although this was more like a Halloween hang out than a Halloween party. 

“I’m just saying,” Namjoon shrugged. “Hoseok went all out for his.” 

You looked over at Hoseok’s screen, watching him smile smugly. You had to admit he made a great Joker, but it was also the year 2020... He and his girlfriend, Nora were like two years behind with the whole Joker and Harley Quinn gimmick, it was old now. 

Seokjin rolled his eyes, willing to argue black and blue. “It’s only good because his mom helped him with the makeup.” 

“Oh shut up, you’re just jealous because me and Hoseok will win best dressed tonight!” Nora scoffed under Hoseok in her own little screen. 

Pouting like a baby, your boyfriend crossed his arms. “I’m not voting for you.” 

“If anything, I should win. I make a mighty fine Batman.” 

Attention back on Namjoon now, you all had to agree. But maybe that was because everyone was feeling sorry for him tonight. He was after all, the only single one amongst you. There was Jin and you, Lina and Jimin, Hoseok and Nora, and even though Sandeul was on his own tonight, he had Jess, who was working the night shift tonight. Two months ago there had also been Namjoon and Hana, but not anymore... Let’s just say Namjoon wasn’t having the best of time lately... Getting dumped during a pandemic wasn’t ideal. So he’d paired with Hobi and Nora tonight in some sort of DC-esque collab. He was definitely winning best dressed tonight, but maybe he’d see it as a pity vote… 

“You’re body looks amazing in that suit, Joon,” you complimented, hearing Lina hum in supportive agreement. 

“Hey!” Seokjin exclaimed, sounding mighty offended as he looked your way. You were smushed together on the couch, the takeout you’d ordered on your laps, but you were pretty full now, a belly full of wine already. 

“The devil and an angel though.” Jimin’s voice sounded awfully judgemental. “Come on guys, so basic.” 

“Well, who the hell did you to come as?” Seokjin was loud. 

“Zombie Jim Halpert and Pam Beesly,” Lina replied as if your boyfriend was dumb. 

“Lame,” Seokjin scoffed. “Half of these guys haven’t even watched The Office.” 

“It’s a way more original idea than yours.”

You scoffed. “Um, this is the epitome of everyone’s sexual fantasy, I’ll have you know.” 

“Whose?!” Lina roared, wrinkling her nose. She and Jimin were also squished together, but on his bed, the camera angle giving you an amazing shot of their chins... Not that you would tell your best friend that, of course. 

“We all know what they’re doing after this then,” Sanduel stated. He was dressed as some character from a game he and Seokjin played (a lot.) Nerds.  

“Stop,” Hoseok whined. “Does that mean you guys fucked as The Addams family couple last year?”

“Of course it does,” Namjoon replied matter-of-factly. 

“Jesus.” 

Ah yes, you two really had out done yourselves last year for Namjoon and Hoseok’s joint Halloween party. Thinking about it maybe your devil and angel costumes were quite lame this year…

“As if you didn’t guess,” Lina laughed. “They were reciting all those weird lines practically dry humping in the kitchen at one point.” 

That was your cue, slamming into action, although as luck would have it you had re-watched The Addams Family two nights ago. You gripped Seokjin’s face, yanking him to look at you. “Seokjin, last night you were unhinged.” You began dramatically. “You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me.” A pause for effect. “Do it again!” 

Seokjin took your hand, in character immediately. He leaned down to kiss your knuckles. “Cara mia.” 

You opened your mouth, ready to purr out mon cher in your best French accent but you were interrupted by Namjoon’s gagging noises. “That’s it, I’m leaving.” 

Seokjin snapped his head around, unamused. “Bye.” 

Everyone laughed… just before Hoseok sighed. “Aw, this makes me so depressed. I miss last year, when things were simpler.” 

“This was the worst year to officially become an adult.” Nora joined in with a whine. 

They were 100% correct. There couldn’t have been a worse year to graduate… The past few months had been so stressful but thankfully you were now in a much more stable place. Granted, you hadn’t been able to start the post-graduate internship you’d bagged right before the pandemic hit yet but eventually it would happen, and in the meantime you still had your retail job – and your savings. 

Seokjin had truly lucked out, although his job at his father’s company had been set in stone since high school. He was working remotely until the end of the year (hopefully), rocking that business on top, casual down bottom fashion that he was so gleefully fond of – think a dress shirt and sweatpants ensemble – but you were so incredibly proud of him for adjusting so well after this shitfest of a year. He was your sexy, serious businessman. 

Your friends hadn’t been as lucky though – well, mainly Hoseok and Namjoon who had recently moved back home with their parents while they job hunted. (That’s why the former and Nora were on separate screens – she still lived close by for work.) Lina hated her new job and Jimin still had a year left at college, so maybe he was better off at the moment... Sanduel and Jess were okay too, and had recently moved in with one another, leaving you and Seokjin to… follow suit… 

It came as a surprise to you both, but it made more sense than the two of you living alone. You’d already grown used to it during those couple of months of lockdown at the start of the year and it felt weird after he’d left... It was a big step, but an easy one once you’d found the most perfect apartment to rent together. (You couldn’t officially live with one another in that shoebox of an old apartment, but it had been sad to leave it – you’d shared so many good times there.) It had only been about six weeks since you’d become official roomies, but you were loving every second of domestic bliss. Despite this crazy year, things were on the up, and you were very happy. 

“Now we’re freshly graduated bums.” Namjoon moaned, knocking back the last of his beer.

Seokjin laughed. “Speak for yourself.” 

“We can’t all have a CEO for a dad,” Namjoon shot. 

“That sounds like a you problem.” 

You pushed at your boyfriend’s shoulder, silently telling him to behave. Where was the sympathy for his heartbroken friend?

“At least you’re not stuck doing online classes.” Jimin piped up. 

“I’d actually kill to be back there,” Namjoon chuckled. “I’m sick of receiving rejection emails.” 

“Don’t give up hope, bro.” Hoseok told him. “I have an interview next week so fingers crossed.” 

Nora squealed. “I hope you get it, babe. You need to get your ass back here. I miss you.” 

You all missed him. And Namjoon. Even if you couldn’t all hang out like you were once able to, it was strange to think they were both living in different cities now. Last year seemed like an eternity ago, all you had were memories and even then they were murky. 

“Guys, please,” Namjoon wailed, forehead hitting the screen as he threw forward dramatically. “One of us is single here.” 

“Sorry.” 

In fact, you all felt the need to apologise, a string of them following for no real reason other than you felt really bad for the guy. You knew he’d find a job soon, that wasn’t the problem really – whatever the company they’d be a fool to turn him down – you were just concerned about his mood. Getting dumped had come out of the blue so he was still adjusting, all while his life turned upside down in other ways too. 

He hadn’t lost all sense of humour though, his trademark smirk growing across his face a few moments later. “So who will end up fucking on camera first?” 

Amongst the groans, Sanduel scoffed. “Probably Mr and Mrs. Devil.” 

“I’m an angel,” you corrected, a glass of wine back in your hand now. “Also, why would we fuck on camera? You guys don’t deserve the show.” 

“God, you’re so drunk,” Lina screeched. She wasn’t exactly sober herself. Beside her Jimin winced at the volume. 

“Of course I’m drunk, Lina, this is the first proper chance I’ve had in months.” Getting drunk alone was pretty miserable, now you had an excuse. 

“So it’s definitely them who’ll start fucking first…” Hoseok muttered. 

Seokjin heard him loud and clear though. He hooked his arm around your shoulders, pulling you against him. “Yeah if we leave randomly you know this angel got horny for some devil dick.” 

“Seokjin!” You exclaimed, pushing at his chest. He just laughed, reaching down to kiss you. 

He did look mighty fine dressed as a devil though. Yeah, the red cape was basic but so were your angel wings and halo, but with his dark hair pushed back above his forehead, two red devil horns visible and his eyeshadow off the scale (your doing), he made a very, very sexy Satan! 

Jimin pulled a face. “You’re actually going to fuck in those costumes, aren’t you?” 

“Of course we are.” Seokjin rolled his eyes. “That’s what Halloween’s all about.” 

“No, it’s not,” Nora laughed. 

“I don’t know why you’re all so surprised,” Sandeul sighed before shovelling down some candy corn. 

“You know them better than anyone,” Namjoon chuckled. 

“I was the first to know! Sworn to secrecy for weeks!”

“Yeah, and she didn’t tell me for so long,” Lina whined. Even though it was ages ago now you were still pretty sure she was salty about it. 

Hoseok snickered. “It was because she was embarrassed to be fucking him.” 

You scoffed, about to refute his claims but Sanduel had more to say apparently. “And then I had to deal with Jin moping around when she dumped him for that basketball player.” 

“She didn’t dump me,” Seokjin protested. “We won’t together then.” 

“Bro, you were still moping though.” 

“Awh, you guys,” you whined, running your fingers through the hair on the back of Seokjin’s head. “Stop teasing him.” You leaned in to kiss his cheek but he moved, stealing one from your lips instead. 

“Great Deul, you’ve started them off again.” Hoseok moaned. 

“I don’t care anyway. The amount of times I’ve heard them going at it has made me immune.” 

“Sanduel, we’re not that bad!” You complained, leaning forward to place your glass down on the coffee table. 

Seokjin had your back. “As if we haven’t heard you and Jess fuck before.” 

That however was not at all interesting to your friends though. They blatantly ignored it for a more interesting direction of topic.  

“Did you ever catch them?” Jimin asked, sounding weirdly excited. 

“No actually, which is baffling.” 

“You nearly did – multiple times,” Seokjin informed him, which instantly turned Sanduel grey. Not bothered, my ass. 

“Why are you guys so obsessed with our sex life?” You whined loudly. Was theirs that boring? 

“Ooo, let’s play a game!!” Lina exploded suddenly, sitting up, her head now cut off from the screen. “Who’s the freakiest!!!” 

Seokjin turned to you gleefully. “We got this in the bag, babe.” 

In your eyes, the questions were quite tame, so yes, you and Seokjin really were scoring first place left and right. Although you had a hunch Lina was holding back information. As her best friend you knew what she was like and she was being awfully quiet for someone who’d suggested the game… 

“Where’s the weirdest place you’ve ever boned?” Nora asked, six questions in. 

Seokjin didn’t even need a second. “Namjoon’s bedroom.” Your eyes bulged immediately, surprised he’d gone there. 

“What?” Namjoon choked. 

“Sorry, man. It just kinda happened.” Seokjin glanced at you, deeply amused. Poor Namjoon didn’t need more bad news. 

“You guys have fucked in my bedroom?” 

“Well, technically it’s not your bedroom anymore, but yeah,” you shrugged.  

“When?” 

The third degree was real. “A while back.”  

“What the fuck you guys,” he groaned, his face a picture. “And you didn’t think to tell me?” 

“You don’t even know the half of it.” Lina couldn’t help but add. 

“You, be quiet!” You warned, although you knew she wouldn’t spill. Your secret was safe with her. 

Namjoon was looking more and more scared by the second. “What the fuck did you guys do in there?” Seokjin just laughed loudly. “Did you at least clean up?” He got no reply. He was deadly serious with his next question. “Did you make Ryan watch?” 

“Namjoon!” Seokjin cried, practically wiping tears from your eyes. Maybe he was more drunk than you… You hadn’t realised. “He’s a stuffed animal.” 

“That plush is all I have now.” 

“Pity, the guy’s recently been dumped. This is bullying,” Hoseok interrupted, sticking up for his friend. 

“It’s not,” your boyfriend insisted. 

“Aw, Namjoon, I’m sorry,” you apologised, feeling guilty now. How could you make it up to him? “When all this is over you can come over and fuck someone in our bedroom.” 

“What,” Seokjin protested. You ignored him. 

“Who though?” Namjoon asked, sounding sad. 

“You’ll meet someone new soon enough.” Lina reassured him. “You’re any girls dream guy.”  

He perked up at that. “You think so?”

“Legit, man,” Jimin joined in. 

“Wait,” Sandeul interrupted, seemingly realising something. “Is the costume roleplay exclusive to Halloween?” 

… Of course the conversation was back on you and Jin…

“Why?” You asked. 

“Because Namjoon had a fancy dress party for his birthday last year…” 

Seokjin shrugged. “Any celebration.” 

Sanduel instantly looked disgusted. “So you guys fucked as The Incredibles couple?” 

You and Seokjin didn’t reply, but your faces said it all. 

Namjoon groaned loudly. “I want to scoop my brain out.” Then he thought of something. “Was it in my bedroom?” 

“Noooo!” 

“Yes.” 

You both replied at the same time and you pushed Seokjin. Now he was just purposely teasing his friend. 

“Who’s lying?” Namjoon demanded, but Sanduel was too busy going through it, distracting you all. 

“The Incredibles is my favourite childhood movie, man, now I feel gross. I can’t watch it ever again because I’ll imagine you two trying to superhero fuck.” 

Your friends were way too dramatic. It wasn’t even a big deal, they were making it out to be way kinkier than it was, and Seokjin wasn’t helping matters. You were literally just having normal sex dressed up. That’s all. 

“This game has taught me I’m best friends with a bunch of vanilla ice creams,” Seokjin tutted. “It’s called having fun. Something you guys can’t seem to do.” 

“You all suck!” You agreed. 

Hm, maybe you were just as guilty as your boyfriend… It was just too damn amusing goading your friends… 

[jnyonghoon]

The Bias Tag

Rules: List 10 biases and then answer the following questions

i was tagged by @softmingis​ thANK YOU now i can finally gush about my men

Sandeul (B1A4) the king himself

Doyoung (NCT)

Hongjoong (ATEEZ)

Minho (Stray kids)

Jinho (Pentagon)

St.van (VAV)

Jungkook (BTS) goddamn i can’t believe i confessed i love him

Woozi (Seventeen)

BriAN (Day6)

Chen (EXO)

Between 1 and 4, who would you rather kiss?

Doyoung for o b v i o u s reasons

Between 2 and 7, who would be your best friend?

aaaaah i hate this probably doyoung?? no no we would just annoy each other i’ll go with jinho

Between 5 and 10, who has the better voice?

NO QUESTION IT IS CHEN

Between 6 and 9, who would you date?

Brian is the nations boyfriend i swear he is like literally my ideal type that relationship would be wILD

Between 9 and 10, who would you do a colab with?

OK probably chen cause like i just wanna hear him sing live maybe i could like play that triangle thing instrument next to him or something

Between 4 and 8, who is the best dancer?

I’ll say minho my dancer boi sdjcnk

Between 3 and 5, who would you most likely marry?

Hongjoong and Minho are both scorpios and i love them to death but they would make me cry sO often like i’m too sensitive for these too it’s not their fault fdsbh so jinho

Between 1 and 7, who would you nurse when they’re sick?

Jungkook cause he’s my child

Between 2 and 3, who has the better smile?

THIS IS DISGUSTING SDJN I ALWAYS SAID DOYOUNG HAS THE PRETTIEST SMILE EVER BUT THEN I SAW HONGJOONG AND I WAS LIKE???? SMILE??? SO BOTH THEY BOTH HAVE THE BEST SMILES IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE

Between 6 and 8, who would you rather vacation with?

St.van cause he is a big man that is my only reason i wanna go somewhere tropical cause m u s c l e s i’m a soft stan tho i’m not thristy

this was a mess i am so sorry ksdn i’m tagging @visualsan and @markscheeks so they have something to do lol also if anyone wants to do this just say i tagged you

[quicktothebatjalopy]

Kpop tag

(tagged by @x-i-l-verify)

1) 5 favorite groups?

B1A4: VIXX: Oh My Girl: ASTRO: KNK

2) Top 5 bias list?

Sandeul (B1A4): Hakyeon (VIXX): Junjin (Shinhwa): Jiho (OMG): Seunghee (OMG)

3) Ult bias group and why you love them?

B1A4 ㅠㅠ because they are good good boys, and they came from the provinces to Seoul to follow their dreams and became a family: because they are talented, and funny, and crybabies, and cowards: because they love kids, and good food, and sleep: because they played around on a radio station like 5-year-olds who had discovered wheeled chairs for the first time: because they write their own music and it’s music that just exactly suits my style. 

4) Ult bias and why you love them?

Why must I choose between my children? It’s probably Sandeul. He’s just such a lovable, sincere, crazy, hardworking, talented kid. He makes the best faces, he does not apologize for loving food, he’s low-key the most manly B1A4 member, and he is ONE OF THE BEST IDOL SINGERS THERE IS DON’T @ ME

5) Favorite kpop meme?

Engrish lyrics get me every yime.

6) Favorite pic of your ult?

I can’t find my actual favorite pic, which is of fetus Sandeul hugging a giant tower of lollipops and looking at the person who gave them to him like they hung the moon. Have this substitute.

7) 5 favorite kpop MVs

Here’s my list of 50 favorite MVs, pick any 5!

8)10 favorite Kpop songs?

Here is my list of top 50 Kpop songs. Pick 5!

9) Favorite Kpop crack video?

VIXX OTPs explained in 15 seconds each

10) Favorite content creator?

WELL there’s just too many talented people out there? I’m biased to XILVerify, but really there’s just too too many.

11) What fandoms would you say you’re an active member of?

I’m not a particularly ACTIVE fan...probably only BANA and Starlight.

12) Top biases FMK

Not into the F, but for the sake of the meme: F->Jiho (she is BEAUTIFUL), M->Hakyeon (don’t tell me he wouldn’t make a fine husband), K->Sandeul (before he can kill himself w overeating?)

13) If you could be friends with any idol:

 I would love to be friends with Onew from SHINee.

14) If you could date any idol?

Not really interested in dating...Minwoo from Shinhwa would be a gentleman and make it fun!

15) Kpop album you think everyone should listen to?

Problem is it’s hard to be unbiased...like, I think Who Am I (B1A4) is a flawless album and everyone should listen to it, but it’s not gonna be everyone’s thing and that’s fine. 2 albums I do think are worth listening to/owning even if I don’t stan the groups that made them are SHINee’s Hello repackage and Block B’s Blockbuster albums. Not a bad song on either, seriously so good.

16) Soft or hard stan?

I soft like mash potato

17) Idol that makes you go into soft mode?

Lots of them, I feel like their big sister. I am incredibly endeared by Sandeul, of example, and ONF’s Laun, and AKMU’s Soohyun. I will say that I would fight with my FISTS anyone that hurt OMG’s Hyojung. 

18) Idol that makes u wanna punch buildings?

WHY is Jinyoung so TALENTED he’s also BEAUTIFUL he’s a talented COMPOSER he can ACT he’s a little SHIT why is he such a little SHIT

19) favorite vocalist?

Sandeul--Junjin--Soohyun--Kyuhyun

20) Favorite rapper?

I’m not much of a rap-connoisseur? I really appreciate how Baro can change his style to suit every song of B1A4 no matter how different, and he’s written all his own stuff since the beginning. I also think J-Seph from KARD sounds really cool and interesting when he raps. For the ladies, of course Dami from Dreamcatcher makes all the girls swoon!

21) Favorite dancer?

Taemin is just next-level. Minwoo from Shiinhwa is also as impossible to look away from today as he was 20 years ago. N has a style all his own.

22) Things in common with your ult?

I also am bad at censoring my face, and I also love singing, and I also love food.

23) The most beautiful trait an idol can have?

I mean, if you’re kind, that’s all you need at the end of the day. Physically I think long hair is really beautiful, especially when dancing.

24) Songs that always make you jam out?

Shinhwa’s This Love, B1A4′s Beautiful Target, Dreamcatcher’s Chase Me

25) Your worst wrecker?

They’re all terrible. Any time I have a bias they’re always a hair away from being unseated by someone. As far as ults go, Hakyeon is WAY UP THERE.

26) Any kpop concerts you’ve been to?

I’ve beeen to a Dream Concert, to Shinhwa’s 14th anniversary concert, to B1A4′s BABA concert, and B1A4′s Amazing Show concert.

27) favorite choreo?

I have a list of 50 favorite choreos! Pick 5! (But mostly VIXX and ASTRO)

28) Favorite live performance? 

Any VIXX Gayo performance is a winner, especially Wind of Starlight. I also really love this performance of Good Timing ㅠㅠ 

29) Favorite debut MV?

hard to beat Warrior (BAP). I also personally really like Knock(KNK), and recently GWSN’s debut was really pretty.

30) recommend a rookie group!

Favorite! I love what they’ve done so far, something about them just really appeals to me. Give them a listen! 

31) A kpop song you could listen to daily?

Wonderful Tonight (Unplugged) by B1A4, or 천번이라도 (the digital special release version, whatever it’s called, the chill one) by Junjin

[taejinpurple-blog]

ARTISTIC BEAUTY OF LOVE- CHAPTER 1

Fluffy Romantic Story about two guys who became friends and blossomed into something more.

*Mature Scenes later on.*

Trigger Warning: Speaks about sexual abuse in later chapters.

I did my best with editing. Sorry in advance if there are any mistakes. But I really tried to make sure there were not many. Please enjoy

Previous Chapter:

https://hopeless-taejinstan.tumblr.com/post/172321002550/artistic-beauty-of-love-prologue

“You’re such a beautiful man, would it trouble you to let me draw a nude picture of you?” He asked with a twinkle in his eye.

Jin stared at the young man for a moment letting his words register in his head.

“Huh?”

Tae looked up at Jin’s tall lean figure. He then walked around him inspecting him from head to toe. He placed his hand on Jin’s stomach feeling his defined abs.

“Perfect,” he mumbled. Jin moved his hand and took a step back. Tae then grabbed Jin’s arm feeling his toned bicep. “Perfect.” He whispered. Jin snatched his arm from him. Tae ran his hand over Jin’s hair. “So soft and fluffy.”

Jin took a bigger step back. “What the hell are you doing? And what are you talking about perfect?”

“You are! You are a masterpiece! Please pose for me, you’re perfect. Look at your smooth clear skin and your brown hair. Don’t even get me started on your face it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Please let me do one drawing of you nude.” Tae begged.

“Don’t be ridiculous! Why the hell would I do that? I don’t even know you and at this point, I don’t wanna know you. Have a good day and a good life psycho.” He began walking away. Tae gathered his things from the floor and followed at him.

“I promise I won’t look at your family jewels even though I’m sure they’re beautiful too.”

Jin stopped short, his ears and cheeks were a flaming red.

“Listen …” he growled but paused when Tae shrieked looking at his watch.

“I’m gonna be late for my first class! I hope to see you again beautiful man.” Tae bowed and ran down the hall going the opposite way.

“Out of all my twenty-one years of living, I’ve never wanted to hit someone so bad.” He mumbled to himself. He sighed and stopped walking when he saw Miyeon walking with her friends.

She looked at him and smiled softly, he quickly turned around and walked down the hallway with his head down. She stared at him until his figure disappeared into the crowd. She sighed before going back to the conversation with her friends.

Jin slapped his forehead and groaned. “Every time you get a chance to talk to her, you just run with your tail between your legs.” He sighed, he just wanted this day to be over.

~~~~*~~~~

Jin walked into the medium two-story house and plopped down at the kitchen table. He was exhausted from his long day. Yongsu walked into the kitchen and smiled at Jin.

“Hey Jin, you beat the others home?”

Jin nodded. “Yeah, I didn’t sign up for that many classes this semester. I want to concentrate on work.”

“I see …you seem exhausted, my boy.”

“Ah, you have no idea!” He exclaimed. “I met the craziest guy today! I mean crazy as in someone should find the nearest wacko center and bolt him in the room forever!”

The elder man sat across from him while folding his arms. “That’s interesting. What was he like?”

“He said his name, but I wasn’t listening to him, all I just was thinking about was how insane this person was. But he had brown hair a little lighter than mine and it was kinda messy like he didn’t brush it or something and his bangs were long hanging in his face. He then had these thick glasses and he was wearing these baggy denim overalls that had paint on them.” He shook his head. “Who even wears overalls anymore? I never wanna see that guy again!”

“Beautiful man?”

Jin froze and slowly turned around. All the color drained from his face when he saw the others along with the insane guy.

“Grandpa!” The newcomer ran to the elder man who stood up hugging him.

“Look at you Taehyung-ah, you’ve grown so much, look how handsome you are.”

Jin looked at Ken, Sandeul, Hoseok, Namjoon, and Yoongi. “Pick something up on your way home?”

“He’s in my philosophy class,” Yoongi said. “We started talking and I found out he was Grandpa’s grandson that was coming here. He said he came straight to school as soon as he got off the train. He seems cool.” Yoongi shrugged.

“If Yoonki thinks he’s cool then he must be.” Hoseok laughed leaning close to Yoongi who nodded.

Jin placed his hands on his hips. “I guess he probably asked you guys to pose for him too, right?” He asked, and they looked at him in confusion.

“Why would he ask us that?” Sandeul scrunched his face as Jin’s face dropped. He turned towards Tae and saw him staring. He then mouthed please be my model and Jin walked out the kitchen.

~~~~*~~~~

Jin sat on the floor doing his daily sit-ups. He kept thinking about Miyeon. He didn’t have the same charm as his father or older brother, he truly was bad with girls. He sometimes came off as brash or aggressive, but it was due to his nervousness.

He sighed deeply and got off the floor. He had to get to work soon. He removed his shirt and stretched his arms over his head. He turned towards his bed to get his work shirt only to see Tae sitting on a branch outside his window with a pencil and pen. He smiled and waved and Jin swung the window open.

“What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you sitting outside my window like a weirdo?!” He shouted, and Tae frowned.

“You wouldn’t let me draw you, so I was going to watch you undress and sketch you half naked and use my imagination for the rest.” He said with a big box smile.

Jin opened his mouth to say something until they heard a loud crack. They both looked at the branch Tae was sitting on. The branch suddenly snapped and Jin reached out the window grabbing him before he could fall. He winced in pain from the windowsill pressing into his stomach, but he ignored it and managed to pull Tae inside.

They both inside the room with Jin hitting the floor and Tae landing on top of him.

“Wow, that was a close one.” Tae sighed, he then felt Jin’s chest and gasped when he saw bare cream-colored skin. He looked down at Jin’s upper torso, his eyes marveled at the defined six pack and he took a deep breath looking down at Jin’s pants. Jin bolted up grabbing Tae’s chin.

“Give me one reason why I should beat the hell out of you?”

“Because that’ll hurt,”

Jin sighed deeply dropping his head a bit.

Namjoon knocked and opened the door.

“Hyung, can I borrow your laptop?” He paused when he saw Tae on top of a half-naked Jin who was holding his chin. He blinked for a moment and shut the door counted to ten and he opened the door again only to see Jin sitting alone on his bed.

“What’s up Joonie?”

“Can I borrow your laptop?” He tilted his head in confusion. Jin nodded.

“Yeah go ahead.” He pointed to the desk and Namjoon looked at him as he grabbed the laptop.

“I’ll bring it back later.” He walked towards the door but then stopped and looked at Jin who was looking at him. “Taehyung wasn’t here, was he?”

Jin scrunched his face. “Why would he be in my room babo?”

“That’s true …” He nodded. “Thank Hyung.” He walked out the room closing the door behind him. Jin walked over to the door and leaned against it.

“Hurry up,” he whispered. Taehyung moved from under the bed and dusted himself off.

“Do you ever clean under there? It’s filthy.” He coughed.

“Shut up.”

“Are you sure Namjoon Hyung didn’t see us? He looked right at us.” Tae picked up his pencil and sketch pad.

“It’s fine.” Jin opened his door and made sure no one was in the hallway. He then grabbed Tae and gave him a light shove out his room. “Listen, stop bothering me. I’m not modeling for you with or without clothes so just leave me alone.” He slammed the door in the younger male’s face.

Tae sighed deeply crossing is arms. He then placed his hand on the doorknob.

“Turn that doorknob and I swear that’ll be the last doorknob you ever turn,” Jin warned him from the other side of the door and Tae heeded his warning as he walked away.

Jin sighed placing his hand to his forehead. All he could think was what was with that guy?

~~~~*~~~~

The next morning Jin walked into the bathroom to get ready for school. Tae poked his head around the corner. He looked around and saw the cost was clear. He pushed his glasses up and nodded.

“I’m gonna get my picture!” He tightly clutched his pencil and sketchpad crawling to the bathroom door. He took a deep breath before reaching out for the doorknob.

The door flew open and Tae fell inside knocking Jin over. They both hit the ground with Tae on top of him.

“Ow.” He whispered and gasped when he heard a deep sigh. Tae pushed himself up with his hands and looked down at the scowling glare.

“Why am I not surprised?” Jin sighed propping himself up on his elbows.

“Actually … I was on my way downstairs and I-I-I dropped my pencil …and I placed my hand on the doorknob to give me balance while grabbing it and you opened the door and that’s when I fell in.”

“So why are were you facing the door then? If you were walking down the hallway and dropped your pencil you should’ve been facing towards the stairs.”

Silence fell between them and Tae’s cheeks flushed a deep red.

Namjoon yawned rubbing his tired eyes as he walked into the bathroom. His eyes widened when he saw Jin on the floor in only a towel with Tae on top of him. He quickly turned around and counted to ten. When he turned around he saw Jin standing up.

“Was Taehyung here?”

“First my room and now the bathroom? Are you smoking pot with Kennie and Sandeul again?”

“Hey, it relieves a lot of stress. But we did smoke a lot last night.” He shrugged. “Anyway, I gotta use the toilet so get out.”

Jin cleared his throat.

“I’m a-actually going to take a shower, so you have to wait,” he said.

“Hyung, I’m gonna pee it’ll take two seconds, so let me go.”

“Well, I’m taking a shower.” Jin shrugged and Namjoon stared at me.

“You’re gonna shower while I use the toilet?”

Jin shrugged. “We both guys and it’s not like you’re gonna see me behind the curtain anyway.”

“Ah whatever, I gotta go.” Namjoon walked to the toilet as Jin stepped into the shower. “You shower with your towel on? That’s weird.”

Jin tensed looking at Tae who smiled at him. He closed his eyes and sighed.

“I don’t come in the bathroom and criticize the way you take a shower, so I would appreciate it if you didn’t do it to me.”

He reached for the shower knob and Tae grabbed the knob frantically shaking his head no. Jin pointed towards Namjoon and Tae shook his head holding up his sketch pad. He shrugged and twisted the knob as Tae quickly turned it off and they stared at each other.

“Don’t have too much fun in there Hyung.” Namjoon teased shutting the door behind him. Jin stepped out the shower as did Tae. He tipped toed towards the door but Jin grabbed the back of his shirt pulling him towards him.

“Wait a minute.” He said making Tae look at him. “Is it going to be like this every day?”

“Yes,” he said with no hesitation. Jin’s eyes widened from his candid answer.

“Enough already.” He leaned against the sink counter and he ran his hand through his hair. “If I do this will you leave me alone?”

“Yes.” He nodded.

“Fine, I’ll do it but after this, you better keep your distance to the point where I don’t if you still live here or not.”

“You got it Hyung.” Tae happily shook his hand and skipped out the bathroom.

“Why is that kid like this?” He shook his head and turned on the shower.

Namjoon burst through the door scaring the life from Jin.

“What the hell are you doing?!”

“I thought Taehyung would be here if I suddenly came in out of nowhere.” He shook his head. “Ken Hyung, Sandeul Hyung we can’t smoke anymore of that stuff your friend gave you!” He shut the door behind him.

Hosek then burst through the door. “Hyung, I gotta pee!”

Jin sighed deeply. “Grandpa needs to get locks on these doors.”

Next Capter:

https://hopeless-taejinstan.tumblr.com/post/172341268250/artistic-beauty-of-love-chapter-2

[snupersstar]

KPOP BIGGER TAG!

I was tagged by the wonderful moosefan777, thanks boo!

This is really long, so if you’re gonna read it, fasten your seat belts, you’re in for a ride

1.) 5 favorite groups?

SNUPER, B1A4, B.A.P, NU’EST, VIXX, and KNK (I couldn’t pick just five!!!! 😱)

2.) Top 5 on your bias list?

Well if you can’t tell by following my blog, I bias Taewoong!!! And B.A.P’s Youngjae, B1A4’s Jinyoung, NU’EST’s Minhyun, and VIXX’s N (and from KNK it’s Seungjun)

3.) Ult Bias group and why you love them?

Uggghh! This is so hard! What’s there not to love about SNUPER? What don’t they have? You want amazing songs that never disappoint? They’ve got you covered. You’re more into stunning choreography? Don’t worry, their dancing is next level. You want members who are super sweet, but also so unbelievably cheesy, greasy, and are just plain dorks? SNUPER is just the group for you.

4.) Ult Bias and why you love them?

Well, if you saw the video post I made for Taewoong’s birthday, you probably already know one of the main things I love about Taewoong is his smile. I also just love his dorky personality. He is always just so fun to watch. He always seems to be having a blast with his life and that in turn just brings so much happiness to mine!

5.) Favorite Kpop Meme

Just a few of my faves

6.) Favorite pic of your ult? (I dare you to only pick one)

But, no, I really like this one:

7.) 5 Favorite Kpop MVs

KNK’s “Rain”, CNBLUE’s “You’re So Fine”, Seventeen (Performance Unit) “Lilili Yabbay”, SNUPER “It’s Raining”, and INFINITE “The Chaser”

8.) 10 Favorite Kpop songs?

KNK’s “Rain” (I literally listened to this song 20x in one day), SNUPER’s “내 여자의 여우짓”, NU’EST’s “여보세요”, B1A4’s “Lonely”, VIXX’s “Desperate”, DAY6’s “I Smile”, B.A.P’s “Coffee Shop”, CNBLUE Minhyuk’s “Star”, Super Junior Ryeowook’s “The Little Prince”, and BOYFRIEND’s “Janus”

9.) Favorite Kpop crack video?

Honestly, I don’t really have a favourite KPop crack video... I just search whatever variety of crack I’m in the mood for, and then just watch the first results

10.) Favorite content creator within the fandom?

suhyunggeun - I’ve always really enjoyed your stuff. And more recently sufferhyuns. Thank you both for blessing my dash (and here I am picking two Suhyun stans while insisting that I’m not one... I swear, Taewoong owns my life)

(And for groups other than SNUPER, I really like gomnu’s suff!)

11.) What fandoms would you say you’re an active member of?

An active member… Probably only SWING, thought I’d like to be a better TINKERBELL (KNK) too. I’m really mostly a casual fan of all groups I stan besides SNUPER

On my multifandom blog, on top of SWING, I really only interact with B.A.B.Y (B.A.P), Starlight (VIXX), Bana (B1A4), Carat (Seventeen), and Universe (Pentagon), though I wouldn’t really say I’m an “active” member

12.) Take your top 3 biases- fmk

Honestly, this question makes me uncomfortable because I respect my biases as people…

13.) If you could be best friends with any idol, who would you choose?

Well as I said, I would love to be friends with Sangho. But I’d love to take a road trip with some of the members of Seventeen (Seungkwan, D.K, and Vernon). Also Heejun from KNK - I want to validate the hell out him!

14.) If you could date any idol, who?

This was so hard to answer because I just never really look at idols like that, but I think I would have to say Seventeen’s S.Coups, I think he would treat me right

15.) What’s one Kpop album you think everyone should have listened to?

I can’t pick just one, so here’s five: I love, love, LOVE B1A4’s “Good Timing” album. B.A.P’s “Noir” is also super quality. As well as 15&’s “Sugar” and SNUPER’s “유성” album (that 80’s remix of “Platonic Love”…) - I was gonna put “I Wanna?” but “유성” has all the same songs, plus more!!!

16.) Are you a soft or a hard stan?

Soft all the way! I literally don’t know what to do with myself if my bias is anything other than soft

17.) An idol that makes you go into soft mode?

Basically all of SNUPER (Taewoong, Sebin, Sangho, Sangil), KNK’s Seungjun when he’s being his dorky self, Seventeen’s S.Coups, and NU’EST, just all of NU’EST

18.) An idol that makes you want to smash the empire state building with one single punch?

Seventeen JOSHUA!!!

Don’t get me wrong, I love him, but this is actually me:

(GIF credit to cheolshu, I just couldn’t find these GIF in tumblr’s built in GIF search that automatically links it to the post... But that last thing I want to do is steal someone else’s creation)

19.) Favorite vocalist?

Kihyun (Monsta X), Sandeul (B1A4), Sangil (SNUPER), Taeil (Block B), Minhyun (NU’EST), Sunmi, Ryeowook (Super Junior), Max (TVXQ), Raina (After School/Orange Caramel). Is that too many...?

20.) Favorite Rapper?

Taewoong, Jooheon (Monsta X), Zelo (B.A.P), Junhyung (HIGHLIGHT), Minwoo (BOYFRIEND) - even though Kwangmin is my BOYFRIEND bias..., Amber (f(x)) -Amber’s vocals are also amazing!

21.) Favorite dancer?

Jun (Seventeen), Lay (EXO), N (VIXX), Hansol (TOPPDOGG)

22.) Things you have in common with your ult?

Oh my goodness, Taewoong is like the ideal human being, what could I possibly have in common with him?!?! I can think of a lot of things that I admire about Taewoong and wish we had in common, but not many traits that we actually share...

23.) The most beautiful trait any idol can have?

As cliche as it sounds, I’m a sucker for a beautiful smile (the dorkier the better). I also fall for idols based on their personalities (again, the dorkier the better)

24.) Songs that will always make you jam along?

KNK’s “U”, Pentagon’s “Can You Feel It”, SNUPER’s “It’s Raining”, Seventeen “Clap”, and many, many more (basically all of B.A.P’s discography, but I decided to only put one per group in all my answers, and they were just too hard to narrow down…)

25.) Your worst wrecker?

I wish Pentagon’s Kino knew how to stay in his own lane… And I just adore KNK’s Inseong, even if he insist on bias wrecking me at every turn

26.) Any kpop concerts you’ve been to?

I’ve been to a B1A4 concert, I’ve seen B.A.P twice, and my friend and I went to KCON last year (if that counts… KNK was there!!!)

[Bonus: I have tickets for KCON again this year, as well as tickets for a Monsta X concert]

27.) Favorite choreo?

Well SNUPER’s “It’s Raining” choreography owns my soul. But I also love KNK’s “Knock” dance, Seventeen’s (Performance Unit) “Lilili Yabbay” choreography, and both VIXX’s “Shangri-La” and TOPPDOGG’s “Arario” (fuck me up with the fan dances)

28.) Favorite live performance?

I really love any special stages: Seventeen & NU’EST W’s “Heaven”, this beautiful stage (in which Eunwoo looks entirely too soft), this rude stage (this is one of the reasons I really wanted to learn more about Halo), Seventeen’s girl group medley

29.) Favorite debut mv?

NU’EST’s “Face”, KNK’s “Knock” and DAY6 “Congratulations”

30.) Recommend a rookie group!

Can I recommend SNUPER on a SNUPER blog? If not, then def KNK (I’ve answered then for like 90% of the answers, hahahaha)

31.) A kpop song you could listen to every day for the rest of your life?

Well, if you couldn’t tell by this point, KNK’s “Rain” and SNUPER’s “It’s Raining”. But also, CNBLUE Minhyuk’s “Star”

32.) Tag some cute mutuals you’d like to get to know better (and to do this challenge)!

I’ll tag sufferhyuns, though you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to (it took a really long time...)

[kpopgerapitico]

Song of the Week

Fair warning, next week will be late on account of me being on vacation in Canada . . . probably. Like, I’m 95% sure. Also, best of the rest for August will go up tomorrow, because I love to procrastinate on packing.

Honorable Mentions:

It was really hard for me to get to the chorus of Henry’s all-English That One. Because I am not a fan of really simple intros. And the chorus, which is great, is still not quite enough for me. Henry as a vocalist is not enough for me with this song. But, I’m excited that it means he will be on the variety circuit again, because he is hilarious.

Staying in the all English songs is Jackson with a solo debut with Papillon. I adore the chorus. The rest is super not for me. But I will support Jackson in his diversification, cause good for him.

I was expecting VIXX LR’s second single to be sad like the first. Whisper is not that at all. The verse almost reminds of me of KARD’s Hola Hola. And I stuck around to listen for the high notes Leo has complained about. There are a lot, but they are all falsetto, so that at least helps.

I am all about unknowns getting views. This week, it is A.Tone with Dive In. Damn, is this track lush, and with some pretty good vocals, both from the artist and the feature.

Infinite finally has a younger brother group. For the most part, Damdadi from Golden Child is an entirely expected debut. It has way more members than seems necessary, an overly cheerful track, and a cute image. It is not bad, just nothing new or special.

I saw a post on tumblr early this week about the comeback of Movning, which put them on the radar for sotw. And I’m glad I stuck around through the beginning of Little Fighters, which has a really really interesting chorus. Less than 2,000 views is a travesty.

I’m cautiously optimistic about Nick & Sammy. Belong To Me is a little bit to obvious, but there is enough of a cool band vibe that I hope for a more interesting future. It is still a perfectly good band track, that I’m sure 2011 me would have loved.

Hyuna’s Babe is not as badass as I would expect, but is still a solid release from her. The trap elements are a bit distracting, but the chorus uses them well.

Primary released an album, here are sentence reviews of each track.

Soyou sounds great, though a little different than her usual tone in Right? which fits the style she has shown in solo work so far perfectly.

Diet takes a long time to get anywhere, though Solji sounds great (unsurprisingly).

JB is not a solo vocalist in my mind, and does not sound like his usual tone in Hush, though the chorus does a bit better.

I am this point very bored. I will somehow make it to the end.

Drama is a song with Primary and Kim Sunggyu, who also doesn’t really sound like himself, which is just a waste of his great voice.

The trend continues, with a Sandeul I can barely recognize in Pick Up.

OMG, Yoseob’s is almost upbeat. I can’t tell that he is the one singing Tukk, but at least the beat picked up.

Back to our regularly scheduled song of the week. And the winner.

I has some faith in 10cm producing some impressive music this week. And while Phonecert is adorable, it is not the reason 10cm is getting the win. Not when Help exists. The lyrics on this track are stunning, and the video is equal parts depressing and uplifting. And the vocals are just as heartbreaking as the content, desperate and wonderful. It was not even a competition.

[sonnetxli]

The Kpop Experience

June 6

Mapo-Gu

Our target for the morning was to attend a Kpop event in the Mapo-Gu area. Nic and I are always paying attention to our favorite Kpop groups and their promotions, but this was the first time that we had a hope of attending one of these events since we were actually in Seoul. Thus we marked the address in our map apps and took a train over to the right area.

The event for the group (ATEEZ) was being held at a cafe which opened at noon, and we had arrived at the station just after that. It was only a five or six minute walk to find the cafe, and I was hoping it wouldn’t be too hard to spot. I needn’t have worried, however, since there was a line that confirmed that we were in the right area. We joined at the back, about two-thirds down the street from the cafe entrance, and began our wait.

Thankfully, it was a side street so there wasn’t too much traffic, and the weather was cooler and cloudy so we weren’t too hot. Unfortunately, the line moved very slowly. As we crept along, we realized that many of the people who were first in line were now simply sitting in the cafe (there was a patio) and hanging around, even past when they finished their drinks and snacks. This confused us a little - the event was to buy a drink and then receive some free merchandise for the band’s new album promotion - until we realized that they were waiting just in case the band members happened to show up.

Even more unfortunately, this persisted the whole time we were in line, so it moved at a snail’s pace. There was also a false alarm where someone at the front of the line thought they saw something and then everyone pressed forward in excitement. (There was nothing to see.)

We were pretty patient but all in all it took almost three hours to get in and order our drinks. Although this seems like folly, the problem was that we had reached a point in line where we were committed - that tipping point where if you left, the time was wasted - and so we stayed. In retrospect, we probably wouldn’t choose to attend that particular style of event again but it was what it was.

Feeling the time crunch a little, we took our drinks to-go and rushed to the subway to move on to our next (and much more important) destination - the CJ E&M Center. This would be the site of the M Countdown broadcast that we had managed to get tickets for. The check-in time was from 3:10 to 3:50 and we wanted to make sure that we made it on time.

We rode the subway a few stops over and came up to find that it was raining outside. On the train we had debated whether to take a bus or walk to the building, and decided to at least check for the bus first. We found the bus stop right away and miraculously the bus was arriving at that very moment. It was a relief to get on the bus and know that we would be able to get to the building in a much shorter amount of time.

When we arrived at the center I asked for directions and was able to find the check-in desk. We were given wristbands based on order of arrival along with an envelope of free SM goods like stickers, a pen, and a wristband, all from various SM groups. They told us to meet back there in about 45 minutes, and we were grateful for the time as we hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast. Luckily there was a Starbucks in the building across the square, and we were able to buy some food there. (I had a banana pecan pound cake that was incredibly good.)

After a brief respite in the Starbucks and a trip to the washroom, we returned to the CJ E&M Center to line up. Nicole happened to glance and see a group we like (ONEUS) in the lobby as they were heading past, which was exciting. Then we lined up with our group (English speakers) by number in the order that everyone arrived. They handed out another gift to all of us - a Wanna One LED fan! As a huge Wanna One fan, I was thrilled.

They reminded us that no pictures or videos were allowed once we went upstairs. Then it was time to go into another waiting area. We went up to another level where they had everyone sit on the floor to wait. However, the Chinese and Japanese-speaking tour groups were ahead of us, so we ended up sitting on the stairs. We were a little fortunate though because we ended up on a landing, with a smidge more room.

More waiting commenced, during which time we saw a few groups go into the studio (mostly cute girl groups) and then watched as people from each fan club for various groups were ushered into the waiting area. They were behind us in line so the staff had them sit on the stairs and then the next floor to also wait. There were quite a few people in these groups, and I felt bad for them as they had been forced to wait outside in the rain for some time before coming in, so they looked a bit wet.

I think we spent about an hour and fifteen minutes or so while we waited for the correct time to enter the studio. I didn’t mind the wait too much but I did have to shift around now and then before my feet fell asleep. It was interesting to watch people come and go up the stairs and to listen to the excited buzz all around. The staircase was also open concept so we could see down to the floor below and up to the one above, providing even more people-watching opportunities. When it started to feel long, I also spent a little time reading my ebook.

Finally, at ten minutes to six, they had us stand up and we began filing into the studio. Even seeing the lights through the open doorway was exciting! Once we got inside we moved to stand by the stage. I think we were in about the fourth row, roughly speaking (it’s a standing room only event). I was happy to see just how close to the stage we were and to think about all the groups we could see in person.

After about ten or fifteen minutes more, the show began. There were occasionally off-stage pieces like ads or the intro that we could hear but not see, and then the first performer came on stage. The way that the broadcast worked is that some acts had pre-recorded their stages in the morning, while others were performing live in the evening. Among those that had pre-recorded, some of them still came to the broadcast and performed part or all of their stage for us. Still others were allowed to perform part of their song and then ushered off stage to allow for set changes. If they weren’t there or had to leave early, a screen would appear at the back of the stage so that we could see it. In total, twenty groups or solo artists performed (whether ahead of time or during) as well as one special group from a reality show called Produce X 101 (which I love and will be watching when I get home).

It was extremely fun to see who would show up when since we didn’t know the order ahead of time, and as most of the groups were present for the broadcast, we really felt like we got to see a lot. There was a bit of pushing, but mostly this would happen when fans of one specific group saw that their group was coming up on stage next, and once that performance was over they would move off to the side. What I appreciated most was that many fans and groups of fans would talk to each other and ask if others could let them move closer to the stage to see their favorites. One girl came up to me and asked if I would let her move ahead of me to see ONEUS, and I was able to reply in Korean that I also wanted to see them. She respectfully didn’t move past me and I was grateful. There were also some fanboys that were quite tall but wanted to see Lovelyz, and we were happy to let them do so.

It was a fantastic feeling to be able to watch so many groups and soloists up close and to be able to cheer for them, clap for them, and wave at them as they waited to start a performance or as they left the stage. I also loved seeing them interact with their fans (usually recognizable by their light sticks, banners, and screams). Nicole was over the moon to be able to see ONEUS perform, and they did one and a half songs live. Gianna particularly enjoyed D-CRUNCH for their energy and B1A4’s Sandeul, with his beautiful singing voice. As for me, I found out just how much I love AB6IX (a LOT - more than I thought!!) when they performed their single Breathe as I definitely felt the most thrilled during that song. Each performance was so well done!

The time truly flew by and at the end of it all the groups all came on stage for the announcement of the previous contest’s winner (Lee Hi) and the wrap-up of the show. We waved goodbye to all of the groups as they filed offstage and then slowly filtered out of the studio. Our knees and legs felt stiff and sore from standing tightly for so long but it had been an amazing experience!

As we exited the building we realized that it was pouring rain, and we only had one umbrella between us so we dashed across the street and found shelter at the bus stop. It was refreshing to take in the air sweetened by the rain and we didn’t have to wait too long to catch a bus back to the station. Then it was two trains back to our hotel, delivery fried chicken for dinner, and then re-packing our bags in preparation for the travel day ahead before we could head to bed.

[fluffypuppychan]

b1a4 in chicago!!!

wahhh okay i’m gonna try and write as much of this as i can remember. i’m gonna skip all of the “we had to wait in line forever” stuff b/c that’s boring and who cares lol

since i’m on my ipad (didn’t wanna carry computer w/me all the way to chicago) it’s hard to insert videos and pics and stuff so i’ll upload some of those moments separately and tag everything related to the concert under “b1a4chicago2k17”

one of my favorite things right off from the beginning is that the stage just consisted of the boys. it made the concert feel more intimate without all of the backup dancers and stage props. and they really knew how to work the stage i was so impressed by how much energy they had coming out c’:

and this might sound like a pretty obvious thing but oh my god they’re so SEXY!!! like i nearly passed out from watching them perform “oh my god” esp cnu he was always so extra with the body rolls i just really couldn’t with him even sandeul was really getting into it it was !!! so much fun to watch lol someone said to me while i was in line that after seeing a group live it’s possible for your bias to change...my bias hasn’t changed (i think lol) but omg i need a second to talk about baro

BARO

the king of fanservice and just being an overall sweetheart omg i don’t know what it was….maybe he could sense all of the baro stans were in our section (i think baro was the bias for at least 4 or 5 girls in my row lol) but he kept coming over to our section and staying for long periods of time and throwing us lots of hearts and waving and posing for the camera! the girl standing right next to me was a baro fan and i was screaming for her because he stopped in front of her camera SO MANY TIMES it was like they were silently communicating?? she didn’t even have a sign up with his name or anything like that idk it was just beautiful tbh baro really blew me away with how attentive he was with us i couldn’t handle it and gongchan too! gongchan came to our section a lot as well and he even stopped in front of my camera when he saw i was trying to take a picture and posed for me but the picture ended up grainy :cccc i’m so sad i didn’t act quick enough. he was so cute the entire time though, he really reminds me of a puppy in person and he was making me question my bias list lmao (i’m not gonna lie ok, i love all of the boys but channie…) jinyoung omg lol like...jinyoung was like so...mischievous? lol he was always pulling the weirdest expressions...lots of smug grins and questioning eyebrows raised at banas in this really “you’re being super cute but i’m also judging you rn” kinda way. i thought it was very fitting for his personality haha and he LOVED teasing us especially near the end with the bottles of water. he seriously got a kick out of it and it was the cutest thing to watch him really enjoy himself. also he DABBED and had the most smug grin afterwards and if anyone recorded this moment please send it to me b/c I NEED IT sandeul came over to our section a few times (AND EVEN GAVE ME A HEART) but he mostly stayed in the middle or off to the other side of the stage so i didn’t get many close ups of him unfortunately. there was a lot of back and forth between him and cnu (be still my shindeul bias heart) and as expected his vocals were AMAZING cnu was so cute okay he confused the heck out of me though like one second he was being really adorable and throwing us hearts and being a squishy lil thing and then he’d move his hips and i’d be like ???? then scream “SHIN DONGWOO!!!” (i screamed a lot...like a lot. the girls standing next to me would occasionally give me a look like they couldn’t believe i was screaming that loud lol and i screamed super loud whenever cnu was being RUDE (95% of the time) ) i screamed jinyoung’s name a lot too esp when he was looking in our direction and he’d wave (i was such a mess, most of the time it didn’t dawn on me to have my phone out while doing these things -.- i want to shake myself lol) also there were a couple of times when the boys asked us what our favorite songs off of good timing were and i kept screaming “together” and istg baro and cnu heard me a few times but they pretended they didn’t lol probably b/c they didn’t want to perform the song (idk why tho :ccc) other random things… i got to meet @sassy-lady-of-ithilien and she was so sweet and lovely it sucks we weren’t in the same section but i’m so happy i got to meet her and cry over cnu c’: there were a few times i met eyes w/jinyoung, cnu, and baro and i just didn’t know what to do with myself so i’d just wave and squeal like i didn’t know how to function lol the girl sitting next to me was a pro, every time they looked at her she threw them a heart and then they'd wave and throw one back lol (that’s where i got the idea to quickly throw one at sandeul c’:) did i mention baro ??? the time machine segment was a lot of fun and a lot of the crowd seemed to know those lyrics which i think energized the boys c: even though they only did parts of the songs it felt like “what’s happening” was a little longer than some of the others and people were REALLY loud during that, it was so great to hear!! i tried to capture most of that part on camera but then i got too into the music so i put my phone away lol i’ll upload w/e i have though “nightmare” was one of my favorite performances b/c the choreo is so sexy and cnu was REALLY feeling himself (which i love omg) and of course “good timing” was amazing b/c they closed with that song and everyone was so hype and the boys were teasing us and throwing water and it was wonderful close to the end baro was saying one of the things they love about chicago is the pizza and he was really sad b/c they didn’t have time to eat any and it was so cute b/c one of the girls behind me screamed “you can take my credit card!” lol 

and when he said it was time for she show to end and that they’d have to go back to korea soon to end everyone shouted “no!” and i told them not to go back to korea b/c we’ll miss them too much and they all looked so amused c’:

baro made us all put up our fingers and pinky swear we’d wait for them to come back again :c (ugh he’s so cute) also it was really cute when baro was teasing us behind stage before they came back for the encore. he’s sooooo…!!!

OKAY HI TOUCH imma be honest i don’t remember a whole lot but b/c it was so fast i mean their hands were so soft and they all looked so sweet i wanted to hug them :c BUT two things did stand out to me first, was BARO again, he was the first person in the line for hi touch and when i told him i loved him a lot he told me loved me so much. i know he says stuff like that to fans all the time but maybe because i saw him in my section a lot i felt this personal connection with him c’: cnu and sandeul were next i think (i really can’t remember omg) but i remember GONGCHAN b/c when i told him thank you and that i really loved him he genuinely looked touched my chest started hurting b/c of that expression on his face OH AND JINYOUNG freaking jinyoung had his hair pushed back and up into this suave looking style (very fitting for him) and i wanted to scream omg he looked so hot like that (sorry that’s 3 things) it all felt so surreal and i didn’t actually start crying until i was outside and on my way back, everything finally hit me :cccc then i ate a huge brownie sundae while sorting through my videos and photos and trying to type as much as i could remember before falling asleep lol i’ll probably add more once I actually upload the vids and remember things but for now I think that’s it c’: i hope b1a4 comes back soon, i love them even more than i did before and hopefully it won’t be as long of a wait next time!! if you have any questions about any specific thing let me know c’:

[goldenscript]

so this is love.

pairing: min yoongi | reader genre: college au / fluff, angst warnings: implied sexual activities, themes of cheating and heartbreak  word count: 15,399 description: there are three things they don’t tell you about getting cheated on. author’s note: i suggest listening to sandeul of b1a4′s mini album “stay as you are” because this was written by listening to said album on repeat. enjoy and thank you for your patience!

There are certain things they don’t tell you when you get cheated on. Not that there were any universal secrets to the concept, but it’s something that happens in the weakest moment of someone’s life. A betrayal. An unforgivable one at that. And, it isn’t simple either.

First of all, you’ll still love them. There isn’t some magical response that you’ll suddenly stop loving that person, because you still will. The love will remain as potent as it was when you just realize that you love them. Even so, it feels as though in that moment when you find out they’ve cheated on you, it’s like you remember every moment that led you fall for them in every fine detail as if you’re brain wanted you to suffer enough. Like being in some sort of limbo, you watch the first meeting, the first dates, the first talks, the firsts… all the works. It’s etched into your brain, and as if on replay, it continues to go on and on, reminding you of what was while you suffer through the current moment. You’ll think to yourself, What could I have done to turn this around? Where did it go so wrong?

But maybe some things are out of your control.

Two years ago...

The first time you two met it was like the cliche romance movie where unforeseen forces bring you together.

Min Yoongi was your partner for your advanced statistics and probability class that was meant to be a preparatory course for the rest of your journey as a business major. You two were supposed to come up with a situational business in which you both have to figure out how to run in the best way possible while still tracking variables laid within the entire blueprints.

He had been one of the more outstanding students in the classes -academically and physically- and you took notice as soon as he glanced over at you from the left side of the lecture hall after reading the pair of names on the board. He was donning a grey beanie beneath a mop of minty-grey locks that fell above his eyes, which suited him and the flannel and dark jeans he wore. His eyes seemed to strike you the most as they were dark and almost alluring from the depth of dark flecks in the dark chocolate irises. They appeared quite relaxed upon meeting yours before turning back to the board for further instructions on the assignment and for whatever else the professor had prepared for the lecture, which you guessed would be an overview of the project’s scope.

Although you remained trained on the professor, you couldn’t help but shake the fact that Yoongi would be your partner. You remembered hearing a few things about him- something about being a music major as the school’s well-loved radio DJ who never failed to please them with his self-produced and self-composed songs. You heard a few, finding them pretty enjoyable, but never was able to put a name to a face, only finding out his real name from your roommate who managed to find it out. You actually wouldn’t have known had she not told you since everywhere else on campus he was posted as Suga. Overall, he seemed pretty enigmatic and rather cold from what the rumors said, and you normally didn’t fall for such fallacies, and you didn’t, you just grew a little curious about the minty-haired boy.  

As soon as he approached you after the lecture (which you were indeed correct about because the professor basically gave you the check-list of what she wanted from the class), he introduced himself, and right after you did the same. He was pretty friendly from the tone, and you were glad to return it. He tried setting up a time for you two to meet up within the week, and although you had work in a few hours, you told him you could meet with him in the next two days and he agreed. There was an exchange of numbers, but neither of you two really tried to contact the other besides the day of the meet-up just confirm that it was still happening.

The choice of the venue was actually your workplace at the student cafe off the corner of the nearby convenience store and a pivotal hotspot for those who enjoyed the campus as well as a peek of the downtown area although thankfully it was quite still considering it was about mid-afternoon.

This time he donned no hat, but a black sweater and ripped jeans that suited him. He looked relieved to see you though you posed no question about it and instead prompted him to sit in front of you. It wasn’t long before a conversation picked up between the two of you. Not quite about the project as it seemed sensible to get to know one another before actually starting (he suggested), and you didn’t mind as he asked you a few questions about your major and what you liked to do. His expression locked with yours in complete interest and his ears perked up listening to your tales about how you came to become a business major and how you aspired to own your own business one day, which was a huge opposition to his well-known apathy to anything else that wasn’t music and it pegged you as a surprise to see him as anything other than the image you vaguely created in your mind from the many things about him.

But along the way in your imagination, your fascination grew before your eyes. Every word he uttered sent you to a movie of his life from his struggles as a kid who aced at school but not social skills, who found love for music after his mother taught him the piano, a gorgeous brown grand piano that was aged from the time his father bought it for her to the time when she decided to teach him after his constant questions and begging, and most of all, his spirit that enraptured you for its purity and kindness that laid deeply embedded behind his stoic, callous indifference that everyone else often spread about him. It negated those thoughts, those misconceptions you were so sure you’d be faced with and you couldn’t be more grateful because in that process, you began to love him more than anything in this whole goddamn world… and for once, it wasn’t music that held his heart so tightly he felt like his chest could collapse if he didn’t reveal this sort of love.

A year and a half ago...

“Yoongi, how much do you love me?” You asked him with eyes as bright as the night sky overhead. The air is chilly and still yet electrifying atop of the car you both were laying on. It’s peaceful on the hills where no one else roamed until the morning. Now was the time for the night dwellers to relax, giggling over the moon resembling cheese and the stars twinkling as if they were happy with the sight below.

He glanced over at you with a lazy smile, one arm propped behind his head as if to act as a pillow while the other houses your neck. His breath exhaled only slightly as he clicked his tongue at you.

“What kind of stupid question is that? I love you so much, it’s almost unfathomable to think about.” It was light and airy the way he said it, but you knew better than anyone that he meant it with every fiber of his being.

You tapped your chin, sitting up now just to position your body toward his.

Underneath the moonlight his skin appeared to glow as if he were one of those stars from above sent down here. You told him on countless occasions that he was meant to do many things, and being a star for the music he produced was the sole reason. He never believed you, but somehow you wished you could explain this sight to him so he could understand what you saw, because through your eyes at this very moment in time, he looked like he was glowing despite being clad in a dark sweater and jeans. It was the lax features on his pale skin with closed eyes and the lazy way his lips curved that called out to you.

A smirk curved on your lips.

“Prove it,” You whispered, leaning closer to his lips.

His eyes snapped open and he raised a brow at you and with a slight tilt of his head, the arm that once housed your neck reached over toward the back of your head. You could feel his fingertips entangled in your locks before a force pushed you down toward his lips.

The feeling was soft and gentle, each ministration was carefully leaving you dizzy with its nature, and you released a small exhale when you both parted from the kiss. It was different from the countless ones you shared. This one was much more similar to the one after he told you he loved you, and it felt more than right as the swell of your heart beat erratically within the confines of your chest at the reminder of that beautiful day.

“Was that enough proof?” He asked in a thick, husky voice that sent your core in a frenzy.

You replied as your fingertips grazed his abdomen down toward the hem of his jeans, “I’m gonna need a little more than that.”

Six months ago...

The restaurant was at a hustle and bustle.

Much like the beat of your heart as you sat in front of your blond-haired boyfriend who looked relaxed and actually quite relieved to see you without a glare or anger. No kind of upset that was riddled all over your features nearly a week ago when you both were on the verge of a break that would have torn both of you two to shreds in merely seconds.

It was given that it actually did tear you two apart. The idea of a life without Yoongi in it felt a little too much to bear when you weren’t sure of the outcome of that night. Fights usually never lasted between you two, and they certainly never escalated beyond a few raised voices and probably a night away from each other, but this one reached an all-time high for you two. Indifference and callousness clung to each exchanged words where distance and the lack of intimacy gnawed at both of you in ways that neither of you thought were possible.

He was busy with his music, as per usual, and you were swamped with your own duties as a member of the student leadership on campus and a student trying to make your way into the managerial department… it was more than understandable that neither of you had the most free time for one another, but with the lack of communication between you two it began to open doors for miscommunication to rear its ugly head.

A week ago, you two were at one another’s throats. It wasn’t like the fights you both were battling through for the past three months… no, this was potent, and it ate at the two of you.

“Again? Y/N, how many times are you going to blow me off this week?” You winced at the tone, turning to meet Yoongi’s dark hues with apologetic ones. “For once I actually have time off from the studio, and you were the one who told me to make time.”

“Okay, yeah, I get that, but I told you this when I actually had free time. Now I’m not.” You replied, running a hand through your hair. One part of your brain was trying to process what you would say to the internship recruiter, Jung Yonghwa, who was supposed to open doors to new places for you if this went well; while another part of your brain was now trying to amend the fact that your boyfriend was now free and here to take you on a long-awaited date.

He stared at you with irritation, especially from the conflicted expression that must’ve crossed your features at situation.

“I’m trying to make us work, aren’t you gonna do your end? This is an equal partnership.” He deadpanned, meeting your gaze without skipping a beat. “This isn’t fair that I’m making the effort without you so much as trying to do the same.”

Your brows scrunched together in disbelief, “Yoongi, this is the first time in like three months that you’re making time for me. I’m sorry if I couldn’t keep pushing off other responsibilities just for a chance of spending it with you.” Without thinking, you muttered under your breath, “Why do we have to go off your time?”

“Excuse me,” He said, his blond locks were shoved from his forehead and he strode over to you so he was actually eye level with you. “I’m working my ass off in the studio for a better future. For you, for my family… I thought you understood that.-”

You interjected, “Yoongi, I do. But-”

“But nothing. If you understood then you would see why I’m jumping at any chance of a break just to get back to you so we -this… us- can work.” He sighed, his lips formed a blatant frown, and it only deepened at the ringtone emitting from your cellphone. “You can skip one night can’t you?”

Your gaze snapped to the phone, peering at the name “Kim Jisoo” a fellow friend of yours who was in the same program. She was supposed to be sharing the cab with you, so you could only guess that she was on her way. And as much as you would’ve loved to ditch the dinner party, you knew you couldn’t just push it off any longer. Not this time.

“I can’t,” You sighed, meeting his eyes with as much remorse as you could muster.

It wasn’t enough though. You weren’t sure if it would’ve made a difference because there was no longer anger laced in his dark-eyed gaze but what felt like a cold fury that chilled you to your core. There were rare moments to see Yoongi react this way. The first time when he found out someone had accidentally lost one of his mixtapes, and the second time when his father tried to call him and convince him not to pursue music any further before he ended the call and promptly returned back to you with sorrow.

He was the type to search for comfort when he was hurting despite any kind of anger that might’ve been plaguing his mind. You weren’t sure if you could offer it with Jisoo arriving but when you tried to make a move to touch him, he reclined from the intimacy and tried to look away from you. It would’ve reminded you of a child who didn’t receive what they wanted from the store but he seemed far more hurt in comparison.

And you almost relented. Almost.

“Look,” You said softly, trying to reach out to him though this time he allowed you without actually responding as much. “I’ll try to leave by 11, okay? If I can’t I’ll call you and then you can pick me up and we can go somewhere. Anywhere. You choose, okay?”

He didn’t respond but you were beginning to feel his grasp reacting to yours.

“Please… baby?”

He grunted, nodding as he pulled you in close for an embrace. His arms wrapped around your waist and your cheek laid against his shoulder. It felt a little nice to be able to hold him close enough to inhale his scent of musk and sandalwood with hints of mint that always seemed to calm you in your most nerve wracking moments. It was just nice to have him so close without feeling as if there was a barrier separating you two.

“Stay as long as you like, okay? I’ll be back.” You were rubbing small circles against his back, hoping that it would help soothe his nerves as it usually did.

His voice was gruff, but you could hear the thickness in it as he said, “I love you, Y/N.”

You smiled softly, “I love you too, Yoongi.”

Soon enough, Jisoo arrived in the cab, whisking you off to the dinner party. It was supposed to be held in the Jung Hotel’s ballroom, where only a select few of the managerial department were invited. The entire room was decorated so elegantly with a black and silver theme from the tablecloth to even the abstract decorations that stood in the middle. There were only twenty seats at the long table that had white plates awaiting to be served with delicious food. Soft music even played to soothe the nerves and to tie together the elegant ambiance.Thankfully it complemented the black knee-length satin dress you wore minus the red heels, but you could hardly help yourself where pops of colors were concerned. Everyone was decked out in their best dress as well, even Jisoo, who was donning a simple black sweater dress and ankle boots. You recognized Jinyoung and Hwasa who were all dressed to perfection.

Jisoo led you to the pair with a smile, and you began to forget about the worries of what may await you at home. Even though it seemed “resolved” a part of you knew all too well that it was far from it. Yoongi was still upset, and for every moment you continued to be out, the more he was stewing in his own upset, and you hated that you couldn’t do a damn thing about it.

At the present moment, it was either you caved and went back without even getting one a chance at the damn internship or you stayed and worked your damn hardest to get it because you were tired of sitting and waiting when you knew more than anyone that opportunity is only half of the step and doing the necessary actions to your goal is what get you what you want in life. You couldn’t say you were sure of receiving the internship, but you knew that you had to try, and even though your beloved was hurting, you knew he had to understand. It was only fair.

Months on end you waited for Min Yoongi to take a break from his endeavours in the studio. You wished he would come back to you during the most stressful points in your journey, but another part of you knew that he was struggling through his own battle and waiting for him was a fruitless battle that you could only shove away with a strained smile when he came around with dreamy eyes and a sleepy smile when you stopped by the radio station to greet him or even catch a glimpse of the elusive man that held your heart so tightly he could probably crush it if he held it too hard. So, you waited, tried some times, and then waited.

It was time for him to wait. You decided after you sipped the sparkling cider and laughed at one of Jinyoung’s clever word jokes that never ceased to entertain everyone else. Without stressing or yearning, you felt at ease enough to supply your own set of witty repertoire until Jung-sunbaenim had arrived with a polite smile on his lips before taking his seat at the head of the table.

The music now ceased to a low hum as he spoke, “As you all know, I am Jung Yonghwa. Owner of Jung Enterprises. I am in search of a fresh set of perspectives that may be able to assist the growth of my company to the younger audience. The more we can appeal to Millennials -like yourselves- the more we’ll be benefitting as a company that adheres to its people. I have heard many things about each and every one of you, so I hope that I’ll be able to formulate my new team with some of you. Thank you for making time to come out tonight, and I hope we can all enjoy ourselves.” He was as handsome as the pictures depicted. Much like some kind of superstar straight out of a magazine, and you felt proud to be there. You had formulated many scenarios in which you would be able to supply your own ideas of how to improve the livelihood of the city and most of them were aimed toward younger generations considering they would be living in the world and either assisting or destroying its potential, so it was actually quite nice to possibly work under someone who shared that same mindset. He concluded, “Let’s eat, and then we can discuss possible ways on how we could go about improving the business world, alright?”

There was a chorus of agreements, and he smiled, clapping his hands. Food began to travel its way toward the plates and the conversations began to pick back up after your possibly-future boss told everyone to lighten up and let loose, even retelling a few of his own adventures as a business student and his journey to where he was now.

His father, the former owner, had expected his son to learn from the bottom just so Yonghwa had some kind of basis to the foundation of what his future would entail. Although it wasn’t easy, the heir enjoyed his education and even enjoyed math enough to see a future in business (though there really wasn’t much of another option for him), and instead of being forced, he pursued the path and excelled in his schooling. He had his own round of fun, partying every now and then, but also applying himself internships, small jobs, and working with others just to get a feel for what kinds of scenarios he would have to think of solutions or appeals toward. It made him a bit of a genius in comparison to some of his father’s former traditional employees who always tried mediocre methods that only led to mediocre results until Yonghwa appeared and helped the business advance further as a main appeals corporation that studied in a variety of mediums i.e. technology, health, and architecture. It was expanding and with a new generation coming in, he knew it was time to let college students in on his plans, which was why they were there.

He heard everyone’s ideas on what could be done for the sake of the city, and you managed to suggest your own idea about developing an app that may record concerns or ideas of the citizens, which he enjoyed and took note of. Jisoo patted your hand in excitement and supplied her own idea for the health side of things while Jinyoung and Hwasa commented on some of architecture and health. All of which, he seemed to enjoy much to everyone else’s relief.

By the time dinner was done, everyone was now standing and mingling amongst themselves, already beginning to leave since Yonghwa said that everyone was free to go if they pleased. From some of their attempts of chatting with the business owner, they were either discouraged or politely rejected from the disappointed expressions that some of them housed, but that was only when he said his piece to them before continuing on to the others. You were with your friends when you glanced at your phone.

[22:00] babe <3: hey, how’s everything going?

[22:13] babe <3: hello?

[22:30] babe <3: i’m guessing it’s going so well you can’t respond d:

[22:33] you: babe i’m sorry! We just finished going around sharing ideas. We’re just mingling now so I’ll try to get going soon since the owner’ll basically give us a nay or yay.

[22:34] babe <3: okay… don’t rush w/e you’re doing. See you soon (:

[22:35] you: ok, see you! <3

[22:36] babe <3: it won’t take that much longer anyway right?

But before you could type out a response, Yonghwa appeared before you and the rest of your group who had greeted him with friendly faces much like yourself once you shoved your phone away into your purse with half a response unsent.

He eyed each and every one of you with pride as he said, “I loved every single one of your ideas tonight. You four did well in standing out amongst your peers without actively trying to tear anyone down. I like that. I like that you’re all friends as well. I think it’d make a great addition to my internship team to have you all a part of it considering you’re all interested in different branches of the corporation.”

It felt as though you were dreaming when he said this. You didn’t realize just how deeply you were holding your breath until you blinked and returned back to reality. He was smiling at the expressions on each of your faces -each their own set of surprise-, and you were all very sure to look at one another with so much emotion that it was all very overwhelming.

Jinyoung, being the natural born speaker as he was, spoke first, “Really, sir? That’s such an honor. Thank you so much.”

He bowed though Yonghwa said it wasn’t necessary. Your now-senior grinned, flashing his pearly whites, “Really, you four will do great things. I’d like to speak to each and every one of you on some of those ideas you had going through your heads, maybe we can tweak it a little but nevertheless make it happen because I see potential in them. How about you come with me, Jinyoung right?”

Jinyoung nodded eagerly, looking to the rest of you three with a hopeful smile, which you all nodded in response. Of course, you four were quick to jump on the chance, excited for what the future would hold after this night. It all seriously felt like a dream, and you were at ease feeling as though it was a blessed decision to come tonight. You were sure that Yoongi would be more understanding now that you were beginning a new chapter to your now-budding career that seemed to open new doors in just this oh-so-beautiful night.

As soon as they left, Jisoo and Hwasa were turning to you with excited eyes before you could even think of reaching for your phone. The two dark-haired ladies were chatting excitedly about this newfound opportunity and you were happily engaging in the ordeal. Hwasa hooked an arm around your shoulders and let out a deep sigh, “Holy…. Shit…”

Jisoo nodded with vigor, practically bouncing like the lively girl she was well-known for being. “One step closer to a better life!”

Her grin was so contagious despite the sudden flushed cheeks she soon sported as soon as Jinyoung arrived with Yonghwa to inform her that it was her turn. She looked down bashfully before meeting the senior’s eyes and pulled herself together with some semblance of control instead of her outright giddiness as previously shown.

Hwasa’s grip eased from your shoulders and nudged your ribs to inform you about your phone that never seemed to cease vibrating in the confines of your black leather purse. She smirked, “Seems like your hubby’s missin’ ya. Tell him the news! I’m sure he’ll be glad to hear what you managed to accomplish in just a few hours,” before she started a conversation with Jinyoung about how his meeting with the Jung Yonghwa was going.

Even though things felt as though they were coming together here the sudden influx of vibrations emitting from your phone was reminding you of the issue you left behind back at home. These notifications were no longer innocent text messages, but rather longer, brisque indications of a phone call which wasn’t settling well in your gut.

You didn’t bother reading through the text, and soon found your phone’s lock screen covered in “1 missed call” banners from “babe <3”. It was just your luck that he was calling once more, but you felt a deeper unease to see that the time was ten minutes after 11 PM.

“Hello?” You said into the receiver, walking off to an emptier side of the ballroom, turning to Jinyoung and Hwasa with an upturned finger. You were definitely going to step out for this one.

“Y/N? Are you still at that dinner party?” Yoongi asked, mild irritation laced in between his words.

“Yeah, I made it onto the internship team so we’re just discussing with our sunbaenim about our ideas individual and I’m-”

As you were about to apologize and continue explaining, he cut you off, “You said this wouldn’t run on any further than eleven. And I’ve been trying to get a hold of you since you stopped responding like thirty minutes ago. If you’re having individual meetings, then why can’t you just give me a heads up or reply?”

You let out a throaty sigh, “Yoongi, I’m sorry. I was in a discussion with Jisoo and Hwasa right after our sunbaenim told us we were in since he met with Jinyoung first. It can’t go on for much longer, can you please just wait a little longer?”

“Sur-”

“Hey Y/N-ah~” The smooth yet charming voice of Jung Yonghwa interjected before Yoongi could continue his sentence. You turned to see him in all his prim and proper glory with a friendly smile curved on his lips. “Ready to discuss your idea? I can’t wait to hear what you have goin’ on in that brilliant head of yours.”

You barely heard Yonghwa say, “Oh, wait... am I interrupting something?” because Yoongi said something inaudible things along the lines of

“What the hell?” You heard Yoongi mutter, “Who the hell is that?”

You mouthed a “Sorry” and asked for another moment before turning back to the phone, which thankfully Yonghwa respected, making his way back to the rest of your friends. You had a feeling he was the easy going, friendly type, and considering how forward he was with the intern eligibles and how easy it was to talk to him it was a major quality to his personality that made him so likeable. To most people at least…

There was silence on the line, but it was still in procession with each of the passing seconds. It stirred a round of nerves as they ticked on.

“Yoongi?”  

You received a grunting sound before he replied, “Well, obviously you sound pretty busy with your sunbaenim and the rest of your friends. -Being as casual as you guys seem to be with formalities, seriously what the fuck- Why don’t you come find me when it’s a convenience for you? Have fun with whatever’s going on there.”

There was a distinct sound of vehemence when he mentioned your now boss, and you felt an odd twist in your gut. It was vaguely laced with jealousy and anger, two of which your boyfriend was known to experience in times when he felt unappreciated, and you just wanted to snap him out of this mood and explain to him that it was just a miscommunication that could be fixed with some expressive words.

“Yoongi-” You tried to say, but the sound of the dial tone soon came before you could say anything else.

You stared at the plastic device after pulling it away in disbelief, still not understanding why he would just end things so abruptly when you told him you would give him a heads up. Hell, you didn’t understand why he couldn’t be happy for you since you managed to score a spot on a team that you’ve been imagining yourself on since you were a freshman at the university. You told him this yourself… but perhaps he was just throwing a tantrum as he usually did when he didn’t get what he wanted. You would just call him after.

Seconds ticked by before you shook your head free from the onslaught of thoughts that were beginning to attack you so you could shove the damn phone back into your purse, composing yourself as you made your way back to the rest of the group with an apologetic smile.

“I am so sorry,” You said as soon as you were in front of Yonghwa. He was a kind man who only shook his head, waving off the minor inconvenience before taking you off to the side. He didn’t press you to continue although your friends looked concerned with your slightly frazzled state when you arrived and even as you walked off, you could feel it but meeting Jisoo’s eyes was enough to let the other girl know that you’d tell her later.

Back to Yonghwa, you told him about how you saw a future in the application as a way of learning about others. Even those without phones because stations could be posted in internet cafes so everyone had a chance at being heard. It was ambitious, that was a given, yet you still found yourself advocating for it wholeheartedly. It actually kind of surprised yourself just how easily you could push off your upset in such a short amount of time. At least the longer you discussed your innovation with the business owner, you felt less sad and more excited.

Being a computer science minor, you pulled out your phone, ignoring the blatant pang that rang through your heart to show him the beta version of the app you were in the process of developing alongside one of your computer science friends, Changkyun, who was a sophomore at the university and genius with technology. He was like a little brother to you despite Yoongi’s irritation of him, and you enjoyed being able to share tech talk with him and even collaborate on a few projects together for your upper-division classes. This app, as you talked animatedly about, was still being tweaked but being able to type in your complaints and ailments was a lot easier than Google Forms -a huge aim for the two of you in development- and it actually stored the data and organized it by any set category that you saw fit.

From the look on Jung Yonghwa’s handsome features he was definitely impressed, nodding appreciatively as he soon took a moment to gather his thoughts and ask simple questions like if you developed the app yourself (“With my comp-sci partner-in-crime, Changkyun,”), was it almost ready (“Getting tweaked but it’s almost there,”), and if you would be interested in being part of the team officially, which you agreed the hell out of. You mentioned possibly bringing Changkyun aboard for the app development since you two knew the innermost workings inside and out, and thankfully, Yonghwa agreed.

With a firm handshake, it was settled. You were signing on for your dream job, and you walked back to Jisoo, Hwasa, and Jinyoung in a daze. You felt like you were floating.

You grinned to them, “I’m in! He loved the app… holy shit. I still can’t believe it.”

The four of you hugged, each of them giving you some form of affection for comfort since you laid out what had happened prior to the amazing meeting. Hwasa offered to kick his ass, but you declined with a small smile before telling her you would do it yourself. Jinyoung, being like the older brother that he was despite being younger, just told you that the three of them were there for you when needed so there shouldn’t be any hesitation to contact them in case anything happened, and you were glad to have them around just for this support.

Jisoo was very adamant in accompanying you home since Yoongi seemed pretty set on ignoring your messages, and as much as it was waning on your patience and your heart, you figured getting home with Jisoo would feel a lot less painful than dealing with a quiet car ride with Yoongi.

This gave you leeway to compose your thoughts, formulate a proper argument as to why tonight hadn’t gone exactly to plan in the best way possible because you were going to start an internship and fully develop the plans you had been blueprinting since the start of your university career, that you would also promise him to make time for any kind of date since you did feel bad for blowing him off because despite how easily you could be petty and hold onto such resentment you could let it go for his sake.

Jisoo didn’t say as much as she usually would on the car ride back, already knowing well that you were in a pensive state that didn’t need to disturbed. She was one of the best friends you made in university so you were grateful just to have her seated beside you. There’s just a comfort in just someone’s presence, and during times when you feel like you’re awaiting an unexpected reality.

In this case, you wanted to say you knew what Yoongi would do in his upset but that’d be a lie. He was unpredictable in that sense. There was no actual set routine of how to go about his moods- sometimes he’d wait for you and hash it out and other times he’d be at his own place probably stewing in his room or doing something to release his anger and frustration. He always came back one way or another, so you were happy with that…

There was a vibration from your phone and you were quick to reach for the device, feeling the sudden pounding of your heart as you did so. There was just an odd sinking sensation that didn’t feel right.

A text message from Yoongi.

[23:47] babe <3: i guess you took me too literally when I said to take your time. Well, I get it. Maybe us isn’t as important as your new job with your “sunbaenim” but feel free to hit me up whenever you decide that I matter.

You couldn’t hold back the sweltering anger that was beginning to grow within you, and soon enough you were firing back with your own response.

[23:48] you: you know damn well just how much you mean to me Yoongi. You can’t just use this dinner party against me just because I didn’t get back you as quickly as you wanted me to or that I didn’t end up as miserable as you probably hoped I’d be but dammit just be happy for me.

[23:49] babe <3: happy for you? Y/N, of course I’m happy for you. I just thought one night of us would fit into your busy schedule of yours. I only have a break from the studio so often...

[23:50] you: You wouldn’t act this way if this were the other way around. At least I have the courtesy of GENUINELY being happy for you. If you’re so damn happy for me, why don’t you act like it?

[23:51] babe <3: what? I already told you I’m happy for you. It’s not my fault I’m busy most of the time, and whatever time we have together I’d like to make the most of. It’s hard y’know…

[23:52] you: what’s hard Yoongi?

[23:53] babe <3: nvm. Just forget it.

[23:54] you: seriously what? Just tell me….

[23:55] babe <3: no. forget it.

[22:58] you: well… feel free to get back to me whenever you figure out whatever that is then.

The indignation of the last message stayed on your phone unresponded because out of your own frustration you could feel the warmth of unshed tears pooling at the corner of your eyes.

Jisoo had noticed your ferocious texting up until they halted and she laid a hand on your shoulder in an attempt at comfort that you didn’t address because you still couldn’t wrap your head around what had just happened. Given Yoongi had always been the most expressive in his lyricism, expressing himself in real life was as easy as bringing a mule to water. He was just so damn stubborn to admit to anything, and if he didn’t open up, he closed right up before your eyes and it stirred a pain in your chest as you came to a stop at your empty apartment.

You paid half of the cab fare, managing to tell Jisoo that you’d be okay to get upstairs alone before you found yourself on your mattress, clutching a pillow before shedding those damn tears.

For the rest of the week, you and Yoongi didn’t talk.

You weren’t sure whether it was by your own stubbornness or his but at some point you were beginning to relent in your resolve as you often did to give him some kind of benefit of the doubt but he seemed keen on avoiding you for a few more days until he decided to call you with a proposition of a date out of the blue.

The silence shook you at first. It wasn’t like you or Yoongi not to talk even if you both were extremely busy. This kind of mutual silence was like being surrounded by a sea of people, knowing fully well you could easily spill your thoughts and desires but deciding against it. It was deliberate, and that’s what caused an ache in your heart because you didn’t know what the fate of your relationship would mean after that.

Min Yoongi was someone you could never pinpoint exactly, so trying to predict what he would do was like grasping at straws. It could go one way but it could also go another, and that definitely played in part of the way he wasn’t the most expressive person. You never held it against him though. You loved him after all. But at times like this, you wished you knew what would happen just to save yourself from the multiple possibilities that could so easily make or break you.

Speaking of the devil himself, he soon took a seat in front of you, mumbling a “Hey.”

You replied with a greeting as well, feeling an undecipherable sensation settle in the pit of your stomach. It was neither good nor bad, but it was leaning between the two, probably trying to gauge whether this was a good or bad situation much like yourself.

“How are you?” He asked, looking at you.

“A mix between feeling like hell and tired.” You replied truthfully, already guessing that he was trying to gauge your emotions. Despite how crappy he was at expressing himself, he was very keen at reading others. “You?”

“Same…”

A waitress came by to take your orders and left as quickly as she came when she heard your usual orders from the place. It was a go-to diner that you both found solace in after a night of venturing and it was open, so it became your favorite one. It had a nice minimalist feel with a friendly cabinet of waiters and waitresses that were great with customer service and chefs who could make a mean macaroni and cheese.

When he suggested this place over the phone, you were feeling a little more willing since it was a mutually loved place with great comfort food even making him promise to buy you your favorite dessert since he was the one who actually sounded apologetic after blatantly avoiding you.

“I’m sorry,” He suddenly said, looking from the tabletop to your eyes. “I’ve been completely shitty lately, and that’s really no excuse for what happened last week but for also the course of this one. I was just trying to figure shit out because I’m really crappy at explanations, and babe, Y/N, just know that I am truly sorry. When I was freaking out last week, it wasn’t really your fault or your boss’ -congrats by the way- it was me missing you and not being able to explain properly. That’s why I shut you out. I couldn’t find the words for it directly and god… I just fucked up, and I’m sorry okay?”

It came as a surprise to you to hear him reveal these things to you. He was wound up with stress and work even when you first met him, so seeing him take the initiative to talk about himself on such an intimate level was different even for you. You’re grateful for it nonetheless. It made his words more special than he probably realized, but you can’t help yourself as you grab hold of his hand that rests on the tabletop that no longer idly created an array of invisible designs with his fingertips now that they were interlaced with your fingers. It was nice to feel him squeeze your hand as if to ensure that you were real, which you returned- you were glad that this wasn’t a dream.

“It’s okay,” You began with a small smile, “I get it. You just weren’t sure how to express yourself, and that’s fine Yoongi. I got over being angry about what happened honestly. I was just so scared of losing you that the anger just dissipated. I want you to know that I love you, and I’m sorry for blowing you off. I do appreciate you taking the time off your busy schedule and trying to spend time with me… I wish it hadn’t been wasted being so angry at one another, but I hope that we can continue to share these thin-”

A distinctly soprano voice said off to your left, “Yoongi?”

You blinked, looking over at its owner. It was a girl with beautifully rich chocolate brown hair, who was dressed to perfection in a pair of dark blue jeans and cream-colored sweater with a pair of black knee-high boots. She had a friendly smile distinguished by her bright red lipstick that matched her warm brown eyes. None of it was familiar to say the least. You had never seen this girl before, but it seemed quite odd considering you had met all of Yoongi’s friends, even the ones at his work.

“Who’s this-”

You were about to ask but it suddenly rocked your entire body when she said, “You never called me back a week ago, so it’s really fancy meeting you here. We should catch up, maybe a round two?”

She must’ve stumbled upon you two by chance because off to the corner was a few of her friends. They looked on with wide eyes at the scene, and the more you looked between her and your boyfriend, the more the feeling in your gut was churning for the worst.

She had almost lovestruck eyes for him like puppy dog eyes that watched him for a reaction, completely unaware of your presence. Unlike Yoongi, who was torn between horror and shock in between his dark hues that would’ve seen indifferent to most people.

So he does know her… You thought yourself, already beginning to tear your hand from his. Did he…cheat? Fuck. He did. She said round two. She’s practically love struck. Fuck fuck fuck.

“Who’s this, Yoongi? And what’s she talking about? A round two?”

You didn’t want to say it. Hell, you didn’t want to believe it. The feeling in your chest was enough to tell you that this was exactly the opposite of how you expected this to go.  

Apparently, it seemed to be the same way for Yoongi. He turned to you, facing you with a blank expression that appeared a lot paler than usual.

“Um, well… we slept together last week…”

You blinked, trying to register the words in your brain. It was different to hear the actual words instead of just thinking of it. All the more heart crushing though. You wanted to hope that it wasn’t true and maybe some television host would jump out of nowhere and just say, “Psych!” Or just pinch yourself just to check that it was only a vivid nightmare. Anything to distinguish it from the current reality.

You didn’t bother looking at him but you saw her. The shocked expression and the sympathetic eyes she gave you that made you angry. You wanted to hate her. You really did. Perhaps even a part of you did in that moment because of how easily her presence seemed to wreak the peaceful future you could’ve had with your beloved, how perfect she seemed to be without trying, and how much of a reminder she was to this sudden reality.

You wanted to yell at them. Say anything that might appease the growing pain in your heart but the first thing you could think of was getting out of that damn place as soon as possible.

You can’t recall how you left the restaurant per say, but you did remember telling him that it was over with tears in your eyes. You knew he would try following. It was like him to jump to action where it counted but as soon as he got in front of you and tried to say something… anything…

But without listening to a word he was saying, all you could say was, “Yoongi, it’s over. Don’t touch me, don’t talk to me. We’re done.”

“Y/N… I’m sorry.” He said, trying to meet your eyes with his that seemed to plead to you.

“Sorry? You’re sorry?” You asked, taking a step away from him. “Yoongi, we had an argument last week. Yeah, it was bad. I was willing to get past it, fully aware of us in the future. That even though it was bad that we would be okay somehow. But you? You…. were so angry or fucked over enough that I wasn’t on your mind anymore. Maybe you thought it was over or some shit, but you cheated.”

“I-”

“I’m done. I can’t.” You said, shaking your head, already feeling the onslaught of tears beginning to cloud your vision. There was an undeniable pain where your heart was. Each tear that fell made breathing feel harder to accomplish, and the only relief you could feel was hearing a defeated sigh from Yoongi before he left you.

Somewhere along the way, you managed to call up Jisoo to come pick you up. That’s probably how you made it out but somehow when you wound up in bed, you couldn’t help but let out everything you had in you with each choked sob wracking your body, clutching the nearby pillow that smelled exactly like him. You wished it was him, but you also wished there was no trace of him there.

But he was.

Everything in your sight was him. The pictures, the pillows, the clothes.... He was everywhere, reminding you of the infidelity that he wrought on your heart. You couldn’t think about anything else but him. Playing through each and every one of your special moments together like some broken record that wouldn’t stop even if you tried to smash the damn thing and set it away.

Your brain replayed the moment of truth over and over again.  

She was more and more perfect each time your brain flashed her in your mind, and it broke your heart even more at how easily replaceable you were to the man that was supposed to be protecting and caring for your heart. And you hated it, because all you could wonder was what you could’ve done to change things, if maybe there was even a chance of turning back and avoiding this altogether. Maybe if you had not gone to the dinner… 

Maybe if you had only responded quicker… 

Maybe if you…. 

Maybe.

Second of all, it’s okay to be angry. Sometimes being the bigger person just isn’t possible in that moment, and trying to force yourself to be okay just for the other person’s sake is another form of bullshit. If one could quote a cliche but ever-so-relevant mainstream quote then it would be John Green’s “Pain demands to be felt.”

You can’t push away what you’re feeling even if it means allowing others to be aware of that pain. You can’t pretend that it doesn’t exist no matter how much you wish it didn’t. Remember: you’re allowed to grieve and feel because how can you ever mend your heart otherwise. If that means turning them down when they ask to be friends or to talk, then it’s perfectly fine, and dammit, no one should ever have to tell you otherwise unless they know exactly what you’re going through. Least of all the ex-significant other who was the main assailant in the beating of your heart.

Five months ago…

3 missed calls from do not reply

[12:00] do not reply: y/n…. Please answer. I’m sorry.

[14:24] do not reply: i can explain. Please. Fuck i am so fucking sorry. Just hear me out.

There was nothing you could’ve done to change what happened, and you realized that now. It was Yoongi’s decision. You couldn’t have known that the one thing he would resort to in his anger was sleep with someone else. Most people would just drink and probably sleep, maybe call their friends for consolation. It wasn’t like there was any indication of infidelity either. You never had suspicions of him talking to someone else. It was a given that girls saw him as attractive, but it wasn’t guaranteed that all of them knew he was taken. You spent countless hours imagining how it would’ve gone. Probably went to one of Namjoon’s parties, drank, and took someone up on their offer for relief. It seemed plausible. Or… he really had that girl around just for a quick fuck or two. In essence, it’s true when people say that some things are beyond your control because no matter how many times you replayed everything in your head, trying to alter your own actions and hope for the chance that this could’ve been blown over, and then you just fall short because it’s a two-way effort to make a relationship work.

You just hated that the process of dealing with heartbreak. It’s grueling and taxing. It’s on your mind. Like a weight, it brings you down, reminding you of its presence whenever it can. That’s expected, not the most desirable, but it’s fruitless to try and avoid all the emotions that refuse to water down in this first month since that fateful day.

Three months ago...

[10:06] do not reply: hey… how are you? I miss you.

1 missed call from do not reply

Recovering (at least the efforts) can only be thanks to yourself, work, and Jisoo. The latter was a blessing, acting almost like your conscience who coaxed you into mundane routines like waking up, eating, and working, and sleeping. To say the least, it was a struggle, and for most of it, she allowed you to grieve and cry your heart out, often splurging on large tubs of ice cream that were meant to satisfy your (also) black hole of a stomach that either ate everything or nothing at all. The latter she would flip out over, resorting to handing off fruit smoothies to you and making sure you had them before leaving you to your grieving stages that were as painful to suffer through as they were to watch because she hated seeing you in such a battered state.

You never thought you’d see yourself so broken over somebody. Sure, you’ve had your fair share of failed relationships before him but it was never as bad as this. But maybe you just never expected it to end when you were very sure that it was all going so well. At this point in your life, you knew what you wanted and who you were becoming yet somehow along the way it felt like you were stripped of precious memories that made up a good portion of that time finding yourself in university. That’s the thing, after someone breaks your trust, it’s hard to believe what was the truth before then. It brings this round of insecurity and upset that can only be felt instead of ignored.

So, you released it.

You let yourself feel everything that was bubbling inside you. All the anger and sadness. You didn’t push it away. You knew you’d suffer more if you didn’t, so you felt it.

You didn’t hesitate to get back to work considering the internship was the best damn thing that came out of that night and school still in full swing. You also allowed yourself to vent out your anger, crying it out until you felt like your eyes would be swollen shut. Your grades suffered a little since you prioritized work and feeling, but it couldn’t helped and you just wanted to be okay. You wanted to feel it. If possible, sometimes you wished you could forget everything because somehow it just felt like some bad dream you were waiting to wake up from. Isn’t it a little funny how that’s how you’ll feel when things you don’t want or expect to happen do?

Since then, Yoongi’s made a wide array of efforts to try and contact you. Always texting you with “hey’s” and “how are you’s” that go unanswered much like the daily phone calls that make its presence known with an unheard voicemail. It’s too painful. Too, too painful to attempt to hear him out. You’re afraid that if you do, you might buy into his excuses and take him back no matter how much you shouldn’t, and dammit, you’re just frightened to hear his voice again.

The memories are enough. They’re a movie that plays on repeat relentlessly, aching every inch of your heart and soul, eating at you because you still wish things had gone differently. You wish you were never put in this position. You wished you didn’t have questions about how he hid it from you so well that you were ready to forgive him with no clue of that girl until she made herself known to you both in your favorite fucking restaurant.

So, you refused to answer those calls or read those messages. You deleted them before you could give yourself a second thought. It’s a temporary relief, but enough to stall the onslaught of emotions ready to explode inside you.

You forgot that Yoongi was persistent though.

Despite the rejected calls and unanswered messages, he still tried to check up on you. Instead of going to your apartment, he sent his friends. Many of them you considered your own. The first to visit you was Jungkook, who was sitting in the hallway like a lonesome puppy, tapping on the screen of his phone until he heard your soft footsteps approaching.

“Noona!” He said, looking down at you with eyes mixed with relief and nerves. “How are yo-”

You sighed, “I’m fine, Kook. You can leave now.”

It’s not like you meant to be rude (maybe only a little…), you just expected this question. At least from the way Jungkook’s doe-like eyes remained passive as ever, he held no offense to your tone either. If anything, you swore there was a flash of sympathy in them. You just didn’t want to deal with anything that involved him… and unfortunately, that involved his friends though.  

He no longer leaned against the wall as he said, “Right, but um, Yoon-”

However, you were quick to interrupt him, “Look, Jungkook, I appreciate you stopping by to check up on me, but I really don’t want to hear about Y-Yoongi right now.” A deep, shaky breath escaped past your lips before you continued, “If that’s all then you should get going. I -uh- need to do homework, so yeah.”

You didn’t bother looking at him as you began unlocking your door, feeling relief as he said an affirmation.

“Alright, noona… Good to see you. Um, see ya around.” Before he turned and left, he took the opportunity to say, “Yoongi-hyung,” He sighed, “he’s sorry, noona. It wouldn’t hurt to hear him out… be friends or something.”

“Good-bye Jungkook.” You said, watching as he walked off, offering a small wave before you ceremoniously shut the door and locked it behind you.

Your phone vibrated against your thigh kept your mind from drifting further than it was already beginning to, and you could only guess who it was from.

new message from do not reply

new messages from “Always Hangry”

[17:11] do not reply: hey

You deleted the message, gratefully switching over to “Always Hangry”.

[17:12] jejoooo: I’m hungry

[17:13] hwasass: when aren’t you jisoo?

[17:14] jejoooo: not the point but ANYWAY

[17:15] hwasass: so what is?

[17:16] jejoooo: my parents sent in some fancy wine to celebrate the internship. Anyone free next week to partaaay? And to feed me of course

[17:17] hwasass: i would but i gotta work on my collab with jinyoungie d:

[17:18] jejooo: poo :( is our ⅓ too busy for me too?

You smiled, checking your calendar before replying.

[17:20] you: nope i’m free! I shall see you next weekend at my place then~

[17:21] jejoooo: YAYYYY. It’s a date (;

Jisoo was at your place about an hour after you both got off work. It seemed silly celebrating with how overdue it was in hindsight but you didn’t mind letting off some steam since your programming project with Changkyun was taking up more time than you felt equipped to. You liked how it kept your mind from drifting too far into the awaiting abyss but with it was also draining and time consuming next to the weekly meetings and (of course) school. Your schoolwork itself was still put on the backburner, but most of your professors knew what you were doing outside of their classrooms.

Hell, the head of the computer science department congratulated you on the achievement, waving off you and Changkyun from most of the current class projects just so you both could perfect the beta version and reflect well on the school’s computer science program.

So, with all the work being put into that, being able to breathe and let loose was a blessing.

It felt as though all the work was distracting you from the current emotions pressing at you. You had given Jungkook’s words a thought even in all that mess, wondering if you should speak to Yoongi about what had gone on.

Maybe just to tell him to leave you be.

Was that what you wanted? Well, yes and no. You wanted him to go away just to let your heart heal but you also wanted him to keep wondering how you were feeling and suffer each time you didn’t respond. It was childish but weren’t you entitled to it just a little bit? Wasn’t there a pass for these kinds of things?

Jisoo, hyperactive as ever, was already pouring a class of the wine, giggling as the cork popped off and rolled onto the kitchen floor before settling right in the middle. She took a shot of the tequila you kept around albeit avoided in case of any accidental phone calls to someone. You figured it wouldn’t hurt if your friend was around to probably keep the phone away in case you were tempted in any of your drunken stupors.

“Ah, Y/N, I’m glad we get to unwind~” She said in her singy-songy voice, pouring the burgundy substance in the plastic cup. “I feel so fancy drinking wine. Ya think it’ll be like this when we get hired on -well, if we do- but who am I kidding? Yonghwa-oppa likes us! He’ll probably hire us on with our luck.”

She knocked on wood out of superstition with a wink, “Just in case.”

After pouring herself a cup, she poured yours, gleefully tapping her cup against yours.

You both cried out, “Cheers!”

After a sip, you smiled over at her and said, “Thank you for coming for Jisoo-ah. It really means a lot that you’re here.”

“Of course, silly! You think I’d leave you alone after all that? Remember how big of a mess I was over Bobby? I’m so grateful for you and Hwasa being around then.” She sighed, leaning against the counter. “I wouldn’t have minded getting to know Seokjin-oppa before y’know though.”

You raised a brow at her, “Seokjin-ah? I didn’t expect that. I mean… well, kind of. He does cook, and you eat like crazy. Plus, the godawful puns.”

She blew a raspberry at you, “Hey! My jokes are priceless.”

“Whatever you say,” You giggled, wandering over to the fridge to see what there was to eat. “Damn, I forgot the lemons for the noodles. The pancit won’t taste the same.”

Jisoo wandered over to where you were and looked around, eying the noodles quite lovingly.

“Really?”

You nodded, taking a deep sip from your cup.

“I might be able to stop by the store though. It’s only 6.”

“I can go if you want?” She offered, swaying slightly.

You shook your head, “I can. I wouldn’t be a good host if I let my guest wander off, especially when she’s this wobbly already.”  

“Psh, I’m fine! I want meat so I wouldn’t mind…” She said, sipping her drink again.

“I got it.”

You already wandered over toward the front door, grabbing your coat and wallet before shoving your feet into a warm pair of boots.

“I’ll be back!”

Within a good twenty minutes, you were at a grocery store, purchasing the fruit and some meat just for your friend with a fond smile. You needed the time outside, and you knew better than anyone that your dark-haired friend had no issues with staying in the warm comforts of your apartment considering how easily cold she got. So it was nice to be out for a bit on a simple task before heading back.

You suddenly received a phone call from Jisoo about half the way’s away because apparently the next one Yoongi decided to send was Namjoon. Apparently the lanky-limbed man had arrived about ten minutes before you were on your way home so you were staying away until she was sure he was long gone and keeping you on the phone while you took a different route.

By the time you returned, you were welcomed by your friend who excitedly followed you toward the kitchen as you were preparing the food. (Man was she joyous at the sight of the meat.) She offered you another cup of the wine as well as shot from a bottle of unopened tequila from a movie night you meant to spend with Yoongi despite the cancellation of plans you actually forgot about the glorious alcohol until your dark-haired friend fished it out, which you accepted graciously, allowing the sweet and pungent tang of both liquids to enter your body. They intermingled and settled on your tongue, but somehow you found the taste to be somewhat appealing after the next few times.

You only took a mini break to finish sautéing the filet mignons. They were on the pricier side but you didn’t mind splurging. This with Filipino food was a great dinner and ice cream for dessert was igniting that Friday night for you and your best friend. No worries about stupid boys and his friends trying to contact you. Just a girls day to celebrate your new found success and to taste delicious food that would fill your stomachs with warmth and a fullness that could sate whatever craving or desire that may come out of intoxication. And once you both were eating, content with the dinner, you giggled when Jisoo commented that she didn’t need Jin if you were around before she poured you two more drinks.

It’s a blur after that though.

Despite the food that filled your stomachs, your desires were not sated unlike Jisoo’s, who happened to be passed out on your couch after eating enough ice cream and watching the romantic comedy playing, not that either of you paid it much mind, it was a meager plot about a boy and girl who meet under random circumstances, fall in love, have the odds against them, and guess what? They end up together as per usual. It’s normal, yet superficial and you turned away from the screen and opt for the small plastic device that only came alive when you raised it to your hazy vision.

The constant buzzing of your phone was a reminder of what you yearned for and despised to a certain degree. It stopped after a hour or so ago, and you never bothered checking it since you were engrossed in the movie’s cliche plot alongside a pouty Jisoo as she claimed she wanted a romance like that. You appeased her pain with a mouthful of ice cream and leg pat, which she appreciated. By then, you forgot about your phone… but it’s there again. Your red-haired friend isn’t there to distract you and the movie has long since finished rolling the credits.

Notifications from “do not reply” laid untouched, waiting for you to make a decision.

You could reply or ignore them.

But from all the countless times of ignoring his words and his voices, a part of you ached to hear those damn words, to hear his gruff, lazy voice speak about anything and everything to you like they once did before. You wanted to be reminded of those chilly nights spent on the roof of his car on the hillside, watching as the stars danced across the sky, flitting from one part of the galaxy to the next. You wanted to feel his digits wander across your universe, eliciting the sweet, beautiful echoes of a sound only he could create out of you. You wanted to be taken back to a time when you were younger, still naive to the scarier possibilities of allowing yourself to fall into another human being, back when you were happier with him. But maybe, most of all, you just wanted him in your intoxicated state.

Five, six, or was it nine(?) shots in, and before your brain could stop you, you’re tapping on “do not reply”, listening as the dial tone beats to its monotonous drum.

The rhythmical beating didn’t last long. Within moments, you heard that voice. The one that could take you back to the hillside stargazing, to the throaty groans elicited after countless nights spent at your place, and to the moments where he made your heart swell so big you thought it would explode from the slightest movement.

“Y/N?” He said, the surprise laced through his voice. It was the first time you actually contacted him since the last confrontation you two had. Since that day he ripped your heart out of your chest and crushed it the moment that girl appeared clinging to his arm like a second skin. Skin of a man that betrayed you so easily, you were actually surprised that you hadn’t known something was off with him. But wasn’t that the scariest realization? That he could have so easily fooled you without a niggle of a doubt running through your mind had that second skin not make its appearance?

“God- fuck… I’m so sorry. I’m surprised you finally answered…”

You barely remembered hearing him talk, only interjecting your own round of thoughts that slipped so quickly past your lips, you barely had time to filter any of it: “F-fuck you, Yoongi. Fuck. You. Quit your shit, goddamn you. There doesn’t need to be more of you.”

“What?”

You could recall the confusion overtaking his tone, but you only supplied your own drunken quips, hoping to sate the fire burning in your lungs and underneath your skin, piercing through your armor as you repeated, “Quit your shit. Leave me alone. Tell your friends to leave me alone alright? If you want to talk to me so damn badly then do it. Just talk but for fuck’s sake, don’t send your lackeys to do your business. I -um fuck,- I hate you. I hate that you do this to me.”

He didn’t say anything for a long time. And the way time he did reply was when you asked, “Did you leave?”

“No. Um, are you drunk?”

“So what if I am?” You countered, teetering on your tiptoes around your living room. Jisoo was still passed out, clutching the throw pillow tightly as soft snores exited past her parted lips.

“N-nothing. Um, I’m sorry. I just want you to know that. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better? I just… hate that you’re hurting.”

“You really want to know what you can do to help?”

“Yeah, of course,” He said, leaning closer to the phone as your voice lowered an octave or so. “What is it?”

“Cut your dick off. Maybe I’ll feel better then.”

The rest of the conversation blurred together like the smog-covered stars dotting the dark sky. Not that those instances ever last long anyway. Much like the clouds, it moved and the veil is lifted, voices fell short and somewhere along the way, the call ended.

Morning came by before you could register, and even then, you awoke to Jisoo shaking you with complaints falling past her lips about her head pounding and her stomach growling though you paid her little mind, suffering through your own battles. You couldn’t help but feel as though you did something stupid, that your better judgements had been infiltrated and run far too freely for you to be okay with now that you were sober.

You laid in your bed, clutching your head and watching as Jisoo slipped away to go to the restroom as you tried to recount what you might’ve done that could cause you to regret living. But the vibration of your phone seemed to bring you back to a moment in your conversation with Yoongi, where Changkyun sent you a message mid-way through about completing his portion of the project, too jovial to keep the accomplishment to himself, and eliciting jealousy at the sound of another man’s name when you announced the message allowed. Your eyes grew wide, and you knew what had happened.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” You muttered to yourself, reaching for your phone far too quickly than your brain liked, sending a shot of searing brain through the back of your skull. You clutched your head with one hand, allowing the other to swipe your cell phone unlocked and reading the notification from “do not reply” and “kyunie~” with a frown deeply embedded onto your lips.

[13:05] kyunie~: you okay? you seemed pretty drunk last night lol. drink lots of water and have coffee on hand too.

[13:05] kyunie~: Tylenol too.

[13:05] kyunie~: actually do you need anything?

[4:34] do not reply: i’m sorry, y/n. I really am. I just want you to know that. I know you probably won’t remember everything from last night but i get it. I hurt you. But please… just know that i’m truly sorry about what i did. I wish i could take it back i really do

You shook your head, trying rid your thoughts of the influx of memories rushing through you head. Although many of them seemed to too fuzzy to pinpoint exactly, you realized just how easily you fell into your own emotions during your conversation with Yoongi. It scared you how easily you were able to let loose your emotions free on him. The anger that blinded you that night setting forth fires you were unable to quench. Each flame sending a burn to dance across his mind and yours as well. For the first time in a long time, however, it no longer burned within you, turning everything you had to ash… for once, you felt lighter.

And it’s because of that, you no longer felt so heavily burdened by your own anger and sadness when it concerned him.

A month ago…

After the incident with the drunken phone calls, you actually didn’t have any other encounters with the rest of Yoongi’s friends. Work was overtaking your time, but you couldn’t find any part of you to protest any of it. You enjoyed your time spent with Changkyun, Yonghwa, Jisoo, Jinyoung, Hwasa, and the many others who were working alongside you to make this company the best at what it was trying to do: improve the lives of the community.

When you recounted the events back to Jisoo and Hwasa at work, the latter was quite quick to offer her services in chatting with Yoongi (read: probably beat the shit out of him) but you told her it was fine. You admitted to them your inner grievances and turmoils, how you were fighting against your own whims just to preserve what little sanity you felt like you had wherever it concerned him. Although you felt lighter from the confrontation, you couldn’t help but still feel as though there was a missing element to this last hurdle.

They understood to some degree that this couldn’t disappear overnight, those feelings are like an itch, there and waiting to be entertained, offering their own advice. While your now-subtle redheaded friend told you to continue your current actions your blonde-haired one suggested confronting Yoongi once and for all. You pondered that second idea.

The phone call was only a step closer to closure, at least whatever semblance of it you could possibly salvage. You just wanted to be okay, and knowing that you were running away from Yoongi with every effort you could muster, you knew there was only a matter of time until you could face him head-on.

You replied to her wistfully, “I think I will.”

Lastly, you can forgive them. It takes time, and this doesn’t guarantee that you two will get back together and be happy again. Instead it means that you’re allowed to let go of the baggage that came with the cheating and forgive them for what they did to you. Yes, you were hurt. But by this point in time, the last thing on your mind will be thinking of them and what they did, and more on you and what you can do in order to better yourself. This means that for selfish reasons you’re allowed to let go of what they did to you so you can feel whole once again.

The human body replenishes itself every twenty-seven days, and maybe it takes a month to a year to heal and renew yourself but the skin they once held and cherished will be gone. Sometimes it’s better off this way. Having a clean slate is like an opportunity of unforeseen outcomes. You just don’t know what’ll happen along the way.

Now…

The heaviness in your chest reminds you of the very reality you’ve been trying to escape since your last encounter with the man that not only cherished your heart but ripped it out of your chest just to stomp on it. And it certainly remained on your mind for as long as the moment had come when you found out the truth of his infidelity.

Given, it’s something that should always be considered a deal breaker; after all, how could anyone still love someone that cheated on them with some other person? But it’s not that simple.

You’re uncertain about whether it’ll ever be simple, because the more you’ve thought about it… it seems so unrealistic. The idea of suddenly falling out of love with someone after a harsh outcome like that, but it’s merely an idea, particularly to you as of then. Maybe you’re just unsure. You can’t really speak for everyone else and their experiences, but in yours, the pain and the love are still. They work interchangeably throughout the day, and it feels heavier with each passing thought.

The thing about cheating is that they don’t tell you how much it’ll hurt until you’re there, and it only really begins when time passes as contradictory as that sounds. When you found out, you were shocked at first. It wasn’t until the second or third day when the shock itself passed that you mourned, allowing the tears to fill you up and burst out and trail down your cheeks, sometimes shouting at the television from the poor decisions the main characters made and sometimes with a comfort food that supplied your need to sate the internal pain.

Not that any of it has subsided in the slightest.

Each ring of your phone and weekly knock at your door is enough to remind you that he is there, and he won’t leave this topic be when all you want is for him to leave you alone as much as a fraction of you yearns for him to stay close.

It’s conflicting to think that you could love someone yet be so hurt by them that you want them to stay and go because despite the hurt, the love is there. You sometimes wish it wasn’t so. You want to be able to go to your classes, get through the next few years and be that successful person you dreamed of being, minus him now, but still the same successful person. Not the big lug of sadness that you’ve been for the past two months.

Every time you recount back to that day, you’re almost transported to that moment, hyperaware of every single detail from the outfit you both were wearing and the outfit she was wearing to the food you were eating in celebration of your reconciliation. The outfits are casual and comfortable, but still you remember putting in an effort with the articles of clothing like it mattered (because it did), and choosing one of your favorite noodle dishes that transported you back to the days when coming there was a new and exciting experience for you.

You distinctly remember the girl’s carefully chosen jeans and top combination that suited her perfectly from the fit and crop of her jeans to even the fit and color of her top. Her shoes were unbelievably cute too. Her hair shiny and a smile that seemed to die for. You couldn’t believe how much you were envious of her until your blind anger led you to hate her.

It wasn’t even really her to begin with anyway. The idea of her was enough. This specific idea was that notion of infidelity where it was the fact that in his moment of anger and hurt, he resorted to thinking of someone else in a more special way than you.

You nearly choke, finding any words hard to escape past your lips as his voice resonates through the speaker, “Are you going to talk to me?” He says your name again, much like the first time he did in his voicemails and the seldom few phone calls you tried to make during some sleep deprived night.

But instead of hanging up and ignoring the way his voice is thick with concern, you reply, “Yeah, let’s meet in the Quad.”

For once, you allow yourself to prod the fresh wounds, and perhaps you’ll get the answers you’ve yearned for since you last walked away. You can’t guarantee how much you’ll listen before you tune him out and break down or let your anger best you like before, but you wanted to try. At least just this once. Maybe it’d even be the last.

You sigh, My, oh my. Wouldn’t that be a dream?

He’s earlier than you are, and he looks nervous as all hell.

To an average person, Min Yoongi is merely standing beneath the shade of trees at bench for somebody. His expression a devoid of emotions that almost come off as terrifying, but mostly intimidating if you’re caught underneath his penetrating gaze. He reminds you of thunder, the way he can so easily make himself known simply by appearing- the dark, tumult cloud looming over a precarious area, waiting to strike with its always present companion, lightning. But he is alone, known well to others for hanging around solo, only augmenting his intimidating presence. He once scared someone off that stood too close to you at an amusement park with that mere glance and then proceeded to play it off as if he didn’t do anything. He offered to buy cotton candy afterwards. It was nice. The sweetness of the fluffy sugar, the way his arm wrapped around your waist, the way the sun beat down on both of you, leaving him with tender, pink marks he whined about until you conceded in applying suntan lotion… how he pulled you in for a minty fresh kiss-

But you’re not here to reminisce, You remind yourself.  

Seeing him beneath the shade, you spot the way he plays with his fingertips and looks everywhere else but the seat in front of him. His lips are pulled into a straight line, and his brows are furrowed. It’s his telltale signs. But you try not to dwell on why he’d be so nervous considering he’s the one who cheated, and you’re only meeting up with him to get some kind of closure from all the pain, if it was even possible.

You genuinely wonder why you acquiesced after the countless rejections, but you know a part of you wants to see him. That very part yearns for him. Even if you’re reminded of the knife he placed in the confines of your chest and twisted the hilt that day you found out about her.

You hated her.

Hated.

It’s so easy to hate someone when they’ve done something to vex you. Whether that’s cutting you off in traffic or stealing a spot on a list that you thought was yours. You find yourself obsessing over every detail about them, trying to pinpoint their faults so you can feel better about your losses. But what’s easier is letting go when the time is right.

You don’t get to decide when you can let go, but you do get to decide what decisions you can make in order to make this possible.

Somewhere along the way, somewhere in the expressed anger you let loose on him like a hurricane wrecking everything in its path, you calmed yourself enough to forgive her and her unknowing actions that taught you more than you ever thought. You learned a hell of a lot about yourself from the experience, how easily you can fall into a pattern of avoidance, how easily your anger can overflow, how you can still feel okay with all of this…

You watch him as you take a parallel seat so quietly he actually jumps at the sight of you. His eyes widen for a moment, getting blinked away as he takes a deep breath and mutters a greeting that seems too formal even more him though you make no moves to correct him. You’re not sure what’s more appropriate anyway. Nothing else seems right aside from your actual names now.

“Hi... Yoongi,” You say, clutching your thighs with a squeeze, wondering to yourself how this is going to play out. It’s limited, but you know for certain that you will not be weak. You will not take him back. No matter what you will not take him back.

You plant the thought so deeply in your head, hoping that the foliage will grow so big, any other words to convince you otherwise are shooed away with one mighty thwack! Even with Yoongi’s obsidian gaze piercing through your fettered resolve, you hope it’s enough to keep you from appearing completely bare. Perhaps he’s read through you, knowing what your intentions are or maybe it’s his worst fear. You want to say it’s a mix of both, but with so much time that has passed between you two, it’s hard to say.

“How are you?” He asks, removing the hat he’s been wearing. It reveals a mop of dark locks you can only imagine is his way of expressing his feelings at the moment. You remember how he liked to coordinate his hair colors to his emotions though he never explained the moods. He let others take a guess. An artist at its finest really.

You avert your eyes to the wooden table, giving your thighs another squeeze before replying, “I’m good… busy. The internship’s been crazy nowadays, but the best kind. But, um… what about you?”

“Oh, that’s good. I just started a mixtape with Namjoon. Pretty good stuff…” He nods, scratching the back of his head.

He looks thinner than you remember. The way the flannel drapes on his body billows with the spring air, sending a pang across your heart.

“Have you been eating?” You ask quickly, doing a once over on him before meeting his dark-eyed gaze, falling into its dark waters with only anticipation of what will come.

“Um…”

“Yoongi,” You say, biting at your bottom lip. It’s only for a moment but you release it to continue, “Please take care of yourself.”

“I- I…” He nods. When he stops, he pauses before his lips let the words loose, “I miss you.”

Your breath catches in your throat, clinging to its spot and leaving you. You’re only reminded of a pang in your heart, feeling as it grows at the sound of his voice crack ever-so-slightly.

“And… I’m sorry.”

“I know you are.”

He blinks in surprise. There’s a devoid of anger in you. That fire no longer burns. Its embers have calmed long since this meeting, and even then, you don’t feel enough for another outburst like those many months ago. For the time you both spent apart, all the avoidance you exasperated, you don’t feel so upset.

You don’t.

It’s time for you to move on. That’s all you can think.

It’s time.

I’m ready.

“I forgive you.”

He lights up in elation, but you stop his celebration short in case there are any miscommunications in your message.

“But it’s time we move on, Yoongi. I release you from your pain, but it’s time we let go of each other.”

I release you like you released me.

Be free.

Be happy.

“I want you to be happy.”

“I want to be happy with you…” He sighs, looking down at his hands. “But, I should’ve seen that coming.”

His mouth shuts, lips a thin line.

You open your mouth to say something, but his lips part and he continues to speak, “Can I just tell you why I was so upset that night? I don’t think you remember me telling you that night you drunk called me-” I’m sorry. “It’s fine, but well, I told you the honest truth. That night I just missed you. It’s really no excuse to cheat on you over, but that’s why I was upset from the start and I didn’t know how to fucking tell you, and damn, I just… I think about that night. I think about how I could’ve done differently, I wish I had, but it’s okay. I just… I just wanted thought you should know that your ex-boyfriend is just shit with words and the only way I could express my feelings was by lashing out.”

You smile faintly to yourself, recalling the night so vividly. You walk through it, now through his perspective, imagining how distressed he must’ve been with his incessant fears and anxieties reminding him of how easily you were lost to him, how he was trying his hardest to tell you words that you had been dying to hear. You see through his eyes, a man trying to spend time with his girlfriend despite only throwing a temper tantrum to get her attention but nevertheless trying his best to be there even if his emotions were driving him nearly insane.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t understand you, Yoongi.” You say softly, releasing the death hold on your now bloodless thigh, allowing the burn of the blow flowing back in place to sear your skin as you reach over to capture his hand. “We had a great run together, but I hope that we can both become better people because of this.”

He nods, giving your hand a squeeze, “Me too.”

Later...

You’re happy.

You hear he’s happy too, and that’s all you can really hope for.

[shinwhoohoo]

Boy do I have so much to say about the whole jinyoung thing. generally speaking, I never read too much into Jinyoung( and baro) leaving WM. I have been a kpop fan for well over 10 years and while I haven't really loved a group as much as i love B1A4, I have seen a number of groups and their members leave. So when I read things of people seeming so salty and mad about the whole split, I can't really relate./1

Ultimately, both Jinyoung and Baro did what the believed was the best for themselves and what they wanted in their career. I believe when it came down to contract renewal, Jinyoung being the generally ambitious person that he is, was basically sweettalked into Link8 with slightly empty promises( and maybe even asked to contribute some funds to the creation of the company). 2/

Link8 just generally didn’t seem like they knew how to manage an artist like jinyoung who wanted to work as an actor as well as still work on music. Like they had a general idea but I don’t believe they knew to what extent how much it would take. They essentially just fumbled, like a lot. Like sure he did a few things here and there but honestly when you hear that an artist or even actor has an exclusive contract with a company, you kinda just expect more. 3/

Like hey they’re going invest so much money into promoting their talents, get them as many great roles as possible, etc. And that kind of just didn’t happen. To add onto that, jinyoung had to enlist. And they definitely weren’t as prepared as they could of been. (there’s the excuse that they were a small newly established company but ultimately that’s just an excuse). In addition to their only talent and source of income not being able to work, the pandemic started in 2020.

So that’s an even bigger strain on the company. So, hearing that Jinyoung left Link8, does not surprise me. They generally let him down as well as his fans. I think it was silly in the first place for him to not sign with an acting agency( though I’m assuming he wanted something that was more tailored to who he was and what he wanted to do as a celebrity) 5/

While I don’t think he will be returning to the group anytime soon, I do believe perhaps there is a chance that eventually they will come back together. being apart of B1A4 is not something he can easily erase and it is where a good bit of his fans came from. He did make a lot of promises about B1A4 always being one and the like, which I’m sure is why there are fans who are still bothered or upset. But alternatively think about if he had been more realistic about everything? 6/

fans would of been bothered by that too. Maybe he shouldn’t of talked about it as much as he did and that would of made this entire situation better. All in all, I’m a BANA that is more bothered by Link8 and how they approached and handled a lot of things concerning Jinyoung more than I am at Jinyoung himself. 7/

He could of done better with how he decided to go but I don’t believe he ever wanted to flat out drop B1A4, but if anything he wanted to put some distance between that part of his career and what he wanted next. ultimately. A3 is great and all of them together is great too. I hope whoever he signs with after his enlistment is just generally better and more experienced. Not simply recycling ideas for promoting their talent. 8/

Wow, now I think this is the longest ask I’ve ever gotten! haha thanks for sharing all your thoughts~

That’s good you can distance yourself from it. Admittedly that’s probably the most ideal way to handle it, but I guess it’s easier said than done for some of us. 

I agree, Baro and Jinyoung did what they thought was best for themselves. And I’ve never faulted them for that. My only critique has always been in how they left, and the pain we can see from CNU, Sandeul and Gongchan over it. But I’ve written enough posts and answered enough asks about that 😅

LINK8 has just always seemed a bit of a mess. I mean, it seemingly popped out of nowhere, and the timing of its creation and Jinyoung joining just all seemed a bit suspect. Again, I’ve talked enough about that but I’ll just say I essentially agree with your points made in your 3rd through 5th paragraphs regarding how LINK8 just was not good lol. And personal opinion, but I think a lot of how they ‘dropped the ball’ goes hand in hand with him having a more prominent role in the company, and then just not being there during public service to run it. And by ‘it’ I mean his own promotions, not necessarily the company as a whole. But who knows, he could have been helping run the company as a whole too. There’s just so much we don’t know about LINK8, and with it seemingly ceasing to exist, we’ll probably never know.

The point you make about Jinyoung talking about Bipo always being one vs. him being more realistic is something I haven’t talked about as frequently as the other things, but I did mention at least once here. Basically, I agree he was kinda in a ‘damned if he did, damned if he didn’t’ situation. I understand why he felt the need to continue on the ‘7 year curse? I don’t know her’ train despite the fact he probably already knew he was gonna be leaving. Like I get it, I really do. the Kpop world isn’t exactly the kinda place where he would have had the freedom to actually be transparent, for the sake of the fans. The only thing I can say about that is looking back, I wish he wasn’t just so intense about ‘B1A4 being one forever’... like he was mentioning it even up until their 7th anniversary VLive, a mere two months before he actually left. But I understand his reasons.

Regarding you last paragraph, “...but I don’t believe he ever wanted to flat out drop B1A4, but if anything he wanted to put some distance between that part of his career and what he wanted next” idk. I guess this is where I may have to disagree. Of course, at the end of the day all we’re doing is sharing individual opinions, we’ll never know for sure, so no one is right or wrong. But I don’t think I can truly agree with this 100%. While I don’t think someone ‘wanting distance’ is the same as ‘flat out dropping’, I do think it’s a very fine line to walk. If Jinyoung (or Baro) didn’t want to actually drop the group, then why did they leave in a way that made A3 so upset? Them leaving WM and signing to other agencies was more than enough to distance themselves, if that’s all they really wanted. However, it always seemed there was more to it than that-- Sandeul tweeting about how shocked and confused he was mere hours after the news dropped, not leaving his house for a month, Gongchan completely breaking down over it, how apologetic CNU was that he couldn’t keep them together as five, idk. This just seems more than just them leaving the company to create some distance. This to me signals it went down maybe in not the best way, that while they ‘didn’t technically leave the group’ it certainly might as well be that way for A3. This seems like a complete break to me, not just a distance.

But again, just personal opinion based on what we have seen and heard. I’m never going to say there’s no chance they won’t all get together again, just that it’ll definitely be some time. I don’t think any of them want to all get back together right now, including Baro and Jinyoung. (Obviously, if B1A4 was their top priority, then they wouldn’t have left in the first place, so this makes sense and I respect that). The best for Jinyoung though, hopefully if he is actually signing with BB Entertainment, they can give him what he’s truly searching for. And hopefully we’ll see Baro in some acting roles soon, too! I always loved his acting, so I’ll be looking forward to that~

Thanks for sharing all your thoughts again, I appreciate you taking the time to do so.

[floralseokjin]

A series of hook ups with Kim Seokjin, the college’s biggest fuckboy…

↳   the index [ #5 the daddy kink ]

pairing; kim seokjin x reader genre/warnings; smut  wordcount; 1,420

“Go on, say it.” 

Looking up at Seokjin kneeled over you, you whined. “I can’t, it feels weird.” 

“It’s just a word,” he urged. “Imagine you’re saying doughnuts or something.” 

“Jin, why would I be calling you doughnuts during sex?” You judged, once again wondering what the fuck went on inside that head of his. It was like to be that handsome, he had to lose a few brain cells first. 

“C’mon,” he groaned, a fist wrapped around his dick. You clenched slightly when you felt him rub the head against your entrance, need getting the better of you, when there were in fact more pressing matters to be had right now. “I wanna push in. My dick’s gonna explode!”

You took a moment, Seokjin’s impatience irrelevant to you, and wondered how you got here. Well, you knew how you got here, hooking up with Seokjin. You were stupid enough to agree to this arrangement and become addicted to the best sex you’d ever had… Unbelievable. But no, here as in now. Butt naked under him, about to call him something you’d rather not…

It had been a couple of months now, since things had begun. It had gone quickly to say the least, and to your surprise you weren’t bored yet. This thing just worked. It was one of your best kept secrets, but then again maybe that’s why it worked so well. The only person who knew was Seokjin’s roommate Sanduel, and that had been a terrible accident based off your own misjudgement. But it was okay. It meant you didn’t have to sneak around. It meant you could use Seokjin’s place whenever you wanted – Sanduel sworn to secrecy, of course. You felt bad for keeping it from your friends, Lina the most, but by now it had gone on for so long you didn’t know what you would tell her even if you had to. Hi. I’ve been letting Kim Seokjin bone me for the last two months. Don’t ask why, it just works. She would think you’d lost it. 

So, you and Seokjin just carried on. Meeting up two, three, sometimes four times a week to have sex. You’d long gotten comfortable with one another, somewhere along the line you’d even started spending the night. The first time had been a spur of the moment type thing, resulting in a very strange moment come morning, but somehow, despite your insistence, it happened again, and again, and again, until it became expected, turning up at his door with an overnight bag, leaving a toothbrush in his bathroom. 

Sex slowly became a lot more fun, light-hearted. It was hot too, don’t get you wrong. Actually the goofier you got together, the hotter it became. Like you said, it worked. Although tonight maybe not. What you were going to do tonight seemed to only stroke his ego, not yours, and you weren’t about that life. However, you found yourself doing it anyway, a fool for that dick of his. A fool for him, you sometimes thought…

“Fine,” you gave in, taking a deep breath before putting on your best performance. You looked at with a seductive stare, channelling your inner pornstar as you spoke. “Please stick that big, thick dick in me, Daddy.” 

“Holy shit,” he gaped, eyes nearly falling out they bulged so far, and you had just about enough time to think, wow, I have this in the bag, before he was ruining it. “I think you went a bit overboard with that one—

“For god’s sake,” you half-shouted, growing frustrated, slamming your fists into the mattress. “Seokjin just stick it in and we’ll go from there.”

He jumped, surprised at your tone, but didn’t argue. He was either too scared or unable to wait any longer. There was no point hanging around arguing logistics. You both wanted to have sex, therefore he should just shut up and fuck you. 

He pushed inside slowly, inhaling sharply as you struggled to take him all. Your walls squeezed around him and you ignored the burn, trying to relax and concentrate on the tight thrusts Seokjin had started giving you. 

All this waiting around and false starts had dampened the mood, and you were definitely not as turned on as you were twenty minutes ago when he’d been fingering you. The friction had your toes curling though, pleasure inching its way up your spine. You could tell it was working on him too because he was chewing on his bottom like no tomorrow, groans trapped in his throat. It made you moan and you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, rolling your hips up to meet him, making a rhythm. 

He brought his gaze to your face, eyes hesitant as he opened his mouth to speak, gauging your reaction. You knew what was coming. “Does Daddy feel good?” 

“Mhm,” you nodded, ignoring his tentative tone, and the way his thrusts slowed down.  “You feel really good,” you continued, your brain literally forcing the next thing out as you squeezed around his shoulders. “Daddy, go harder.”

That seemed to do it. He was such a male. Now that he was happy you were playing along he began to rut his hips faster, each thrust more powerful than the next until all you could hear was the sound of skin slapping on skin. His bed springs started squeaking as he thrust you further up the bed. In the end he grabbed you by the hips, grunting as he hoisted you up and held you still, fucking you harder, your shoulders pushed into the headboard. 

“Argh—Jin!” You cried, unable to keep silent any longer. However, seeing him shoot you an unamused look, you backtracked, “—Daddy.” You hoped to god Sandeul couldn’t hear this, you’d die on the spot. 

Seokjin grabbed your knees, attempting to spread your legs wider. Guy was breaking into a sweat. “Wanna get deeper,” he panted. “Shit, you’re really tight tonight.” 

“Touch me, Daddy,” you whined almost, feeling a little mischievous. Was he actually into this? You couldn’t tell. 

He instantly wedged his hand between your legs, thumb finding your clit as he began to rub tight circles against it. You wriggled under him, the pleasure warming something in your gut. 

“Gonna cum? Gonna make this pussy cum?” He grunted. 

You chose to ignore that one and moaned in reply. He knew you hated that word. You’d once told him to call it your ‘elegant lady garden,’ but he’d scoffed and told you it was too long and too weird… He had a point. 

“Are you going to cum all over Daddy’s cock?” 

You hated him. You hated yourself for actually agreeing to this. It was a wonder how you hadn’t burst out laughing yet. Probably had something to do with the sex being great despite the craziness you were participating in. You nodded, unable to get any words out as you let your orgasm take over. You arched into him, chasing the feeling as you moaned. 

“Fuck,” he muttered, feeling you cum, his free hand falling to the top of the headboard to grip as he leant in, needing leverage to keep fucking you. “Keep moaning like that,” he told you as you batted his hand away from your now too sensitive clit. “You’re gonna make Daddy cum too!”

He was committed, you’d give him that. You didn’t really think he was feeling the word either, but he was going to see it out until the end. 

With three more thrusts he stopped dead, coming inside of you. “S-shit,” he groaned, pulling out and trying to catch his breath. “I can’t tell if that was hot or not.” 

You were still out of breath too, telling him straight. “It was hot but not because of what I called you.” You absentmindedly pulled the hair out of his eyes as he hovered over you, strands plastered to his forehead. “I’m never calling you daddy again.” 

“Duly noted,” he nodded. Pleased that he agreed, you grinned. “It was kinda awkward, not like I imagined. I don’t see the big deal in it.”

“Agreed. Let’s take this to our graves.” You stretched out your pinky. 

“We’ll add it to the list.” He laughed, hooking his little finger with yours before he pondered something. “But what about some others? Sir? Master? King?”

You scoffed, pushing at his shoulder. “Seokjin, I’m not calling you king, your ego is already big enough!” 

Infuriatingly he had the cheek to shoot you a sheepish grin. 

Written 2018. Reworked/Edited 2020 Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2020

[iamnothyper]

FANACCOUNT - B1A4 NYC

Cause I had such a great time and I need to share my delulu “OMG HE LOOKED AT ME” moments.

lining up was messy, almost fought with this power tripping venue supervisor, but got over that. i had balcony ga and lined up sometime after 6. it was fucking cold. i couldn’t stop shivering and the show as usual started late. we were still outside when it was 8. (spoiler: no photo-op sticker for me :/)

i ended up super close to the stage. i kinda half-trespassed into this curtained-off area and this guy tried to barrier me out, but some girl had wound up on the floor next to me so i literally could not move. pros: i was close. cons: i was next to a huge column and this huge speaker was blocking part of my view. i have two shitty videos that i can post. the irl view was much clearer though and wasn’t so fucking bright.

the boys were awesome, they were so into it. so much fanservice my god. they just looked like they were having the time of their lives with us and it was great. the funny thing was that from my spot i could see the prompter and basically all their ments. baro spoke so much english ;D and i’m really shitty at recounting this stuff so i’m just gonna do moments i remember. in no particular order cause did i mention my memory sucks?

HIGHLIGHTS

I am Jinyoung/Sanduel biased so I noticed both being super into the singing. They also were miming Baro’s rap to each other at one point and Gongchan was in between them completely oblivious. Baro was hyping up producer Jinyoung when a fan shouted out “1 Step, 2 Step” and B1A4 ended up singing/dancing to a bit of Oh My Girl’s song. During a ment, Jinyoung messed up and they all teased him. During another ment (encore/last one I think) Sanduel started singing some English song and all the fans started singing along. He was taken aback and we were told to calm down. Actually, they said calm down very dramatically a lot lol.

This was something small but I found it funny. They were doing the “SAY YEA” thing and Gongchan kept holding out his mic when it wasn’t the fans’ turn to scream. He realized this after awhile and “smoothly” made it seem like he was just throwing his hands up. (i saw u, i know what you did)

There were a lot of cute interactions between members and towards fans, but I remember the encore and fanservice most. They replayed that Good Timing chorus so many times. They kept saying “1 MORE???” and it was great. So many water bottles were sacrificed that day. They were really just enjoying it and trying to hype everyone up.

There was a huge column that was in the middle of the crowd. Gongchan was using it as leverage so he could lean out more and high-five people. Sanduel later did the same thing and was having a grand time with himself. Gongchan also started waving like a maniac. And, so so many hearts. 

Gongchan took so many selfies with fans’ phones. He was even taking them as the group was leaving the stage so Jinyoung came back on and lingered with him. Jinyoung was trying to tell the fans to take pics OF him when they wanted him to take selfies. Communication failure. He later did take people’s phones, but I thought it was a funny interaction. Sandeul on the other hand was trying to take a selfie and accidentally exits out of the camera. Don’t worry, he figured it out in the end.

Someone threw a plush pokeball onstage that landed between Baro’s feet. He held it out and struck that pokemon pose before throwing it at himself. Sandeul had a panic wtf moment when bunny ears were thrown on stage. He picked them up but never wore them (no one else did either). Gongchan was very pleased with the plastic roses someone threw and started waving them around. Overall, they loved it, we loved it, it was awesome.

WELCOME TO DELULU LAND

So, in my mind these are totally interactions that happened to me directly.  CNU was waving to the crowd, looks in our direction so I start waving, he looks surprised for a sec (could be because the girl sitting under me had a sign in korean, but nah its def cause my good looks) and waves back. Towards the end of the concert he’s waving again and just as he’s about to stop I start waving like a maniac so he waves back.

So, being in the balcony (and half of me illegally trespassing) there’s not much room to get hype. Most of the people were just standing/sitting still. I started bouncing and throwing my hand up and down over the railing during the encore. And... I ALMOST MISSED THIS, but I looked back at my side of the stage and Jinyoung was looking up (at me yo) like he was waiting for something. I had my hand out and bobbed along to the GOOD. TIME.ING. beat (with him? tbh I cant remember) and he did that satisfied “good job” expression. I felt so accomplished. This happened with Gongchan too. GOOD. TIME.ING. smile, nods, moves on with life. 

Now, Gongchan is not my bias, but he was on my side of the stage and he looked up a lot. Prettttyyy sure we made eye contact a buncha times. We gots that connection you know? Most notable would be when I did the finger heart then when he saw me went on my tippy toes to lean closer. He raised one eyebrow and gave me the “hmm??” look before turning away. As he was waving goodbye I waved too and I swear to god he smiled and waved back. I’m also pretty sure I did finger heart again and he reacted to it by smiling that time.

Who know’s though, I’m probably insane. 

[babyfacebywjsn-archive-blog]

do every letter for the kpop ask sjdsjs 👀

I should have known u would ask this…….. ilu I’m gonna dO IT

A: Something really attractive that your bias does?

We talked abt this but when jimin puts his hand on his chin and says hm in his logs…. I just love him so much it’s so cute

B: A favorite physical feature of your bias?

For yeri I think it’s….. aaaaaaa maybe her eyes ??? They sparkle a lot and she is rlly expressive with them

C: A color that you think your bias looks good in?

Yeeun looks rlly rlLY good in red I wish she would wear it more…. u kno that one stage of hobgoblin when she wore red? Iconic

D: Your favorite dance?

FUCK . Uhhh probably 4 walls?? Or rough by gfriend is rlly good…. the clock… amazing. Also all of mmmoos choreo.

E: An idol you think would be easy to get along with?

Answered!

F: The first group you loved?

Bts!! I watched run everyday for a week straight sjfkgkdkc

G: A group you wish you could see more of on your dash?

Answered ❤

H: The best hairstyle your bias has ever had?

I’m gonna do jimin for this one bc his orange hair was so! Cute!! I loved it so much…. also black I need more of that

I: The most interesting voice or style in K-pop?

Suran’s voice stands out to me a lot!! It’s very soft and nice….

J: A group you love to jam out to?

Red velvet !!! U should have seen me when Russian roulette came out… also got7 bc when I got into them I would just listen to beggin on my knees and dance so much dhfjfk

K: Your favorite non-Korean idol?

Amber…. the love of my life… also momo 💕💓💓💗

L: Your favorite line from a song?

Lots and lots for this one but I like “so that bullshits a best seller, what do those guys know about you, your dreams, your hobbies, can they understand?” From do you

M: Your favorite Maknae?

Changhyun hands down

N: The best/catchiest name (or stage name)?

Answered !!

O: Another occupation you could see your bias being?

I could see hwasa being a model definitely. Like she could go down the catwalk, pose for hundreds of photo shoots, be stunning and beautiful all the time like she already is

P: Your favorite photoshoot?

The rlly retro one red velvet did!!! I forget what it was for but they all looked amazing 1000/10

Q: A quality your bias shows that you absolutely love?

Jimin is always rlly caring towards everyone…. he just wants them to be happy and healthy and is super comforting even if it may seem like he’s teasing…. I love him

R: The best rapper, or, the best rapper line?

I don’t have a favorite rapper but I rlly love hobis raps they always flow rlly well and please listen to brave girls bc hyeran is an amazing rapper

S: A song that never fails to get stuck in your head?

*jungkook voice* A-RIRANG, ARIRANG ARARIYO…..

T: Your favorite hidden talent an idol has shown?

Answered 💕

U: The most unusual group?

Bts…. u never fuckin know what’s next! They just pop up and I’m just ! Bitch ! V: The best/sexiest voice in K-pop?

Don’t ask me this. Blease

W: Something you wonder about?

When are girl groups gonna get the recognition and love they deserve?? When is f(x) gonna come back?? Where in gods name is snsd???

X: Your favorite cross-group friendship?

I’m not into vixx or ba14 but literally….. jin and ken and sandeul….. they had a backwards roll race nothing beats that

Y: The last M/V you watched on Youtube?

Probably Anda’s touch bc I love that Gay Z: Not related to Z, but… Your favorite Kpop blogs?

I wanna @ all my mutuals but @jisooismyvalentine @lunasgrl @cutejin @minhyuksgrlfriend (U IF U WOULD POST) @ilysmpjm @guitaristjin and @fhawn are blogs I really admire and think are just the Coolest,,

[fishhideout]

15.The Idol and the Gamer

(Ken/Hongbin. G. 1,240w. 20200403. AR.) Ken is a ballad idol in a group with Sandeul while Hongbin is a pro-gamer (Overwatch). This is a story of how they met.

Disclaimer: I am in no way an expert in gaming (or PC-bang/PC cafes). Please pardon my ignorance in the field; all that I know about Overwatch is picked up from watching VIXX vs Monsta X on Jung.Dae.Man hahaha. Also, this is not aligned with their current age, let's assume that Hongbin is 15 when overwatch just got released.

  FIFTEEN

The countdown above ran below 10 seconds as Hongbin killed off an opponent. 5, 4, 3, 2, and he saw another opponent, aimed and shot the arrow. 1, and the opponent died, right before the word Victory appeared on the screen.

That was a good game, Hongbin thought, grinning at the screen as he stretched his fingers and rotated his shoulders to loosen the muscles.

"That was so cool", came an exclamation from behind him. Hongbin jerked a little in surprise, because no one ever talked loudly in this PC-bang. He turned around, confused, and found another boy staring back at him. "Can you teach me", the boy asked as he approached Hongbin, a little too close for comfort, so Hongbin leaned back a little.

Hongbin replied hesitantly, "uh, thanks". It was only seconds later that he processed that his reply sat awkwardly after the boy's second comment, as if Hongbin was ignoring the boy's request. Hongbin had never been good at interacting with strangers; this was, unfortunately and obviously, no exception.

Hongbin expected the boy to leave then, but he didn't. Instead, he insisted on it, and Hongbin agreed in relief.

This was how Hongbin got to know Jaehwan, sixteen years old, and possibly too excited to be hyung. It turned out that Jaehwan had been assigned to the booth beside Hongbin's, and that made it easy for them to communicate in low whispers. Hongbin tried to guide Jaehwan as he played, giving tips on how to choose a character and where to aim. Somewhere along the way, they dropped the formalities between them (most likely when Jaehwan was whining at the screen and Hongbin was holding in his laughter as he continued to guide Jaehwan).

It was nearly an hour, or maybe two, later that Hongbin couldn't hold back his laughter any longer, eyes moving away from the screen to look at Jaehwan as he laughed, "Hyung, you suck at this game!"

"No, the game is just really difficult," Jaehwan whined in reply, to which Hongbin laughed even louder before muffling the sounds with his hand.

NƎƎꓕXIS

Jaehwan remembers the first and only time he ran away from training. He had ended up at a PC-bang nearby, hoping for a quiet and safe haven, even just for a while. When he entered the room, the only sounds that resonated through the room were the sounds of the keys on a keyboard being pressed. It was not too distracting as background noise.

What Jaehwan remembers most vividly was the moment when he reached his booth. Instead of taking his seat, he was mesmerized by the effortless manuveur of the keys and mouse, by the boy who had been allocated to the booth beside his, for a game that Jaehwan had not seen before.

Hongbin. Jaehwan still remembers how he managed to convince Hongbin into teaching him to play the game, and how they went from strangers to friends in just a couple of hours by bonding over the game.

It took Junghwan almost four hours to find Jaehwan, huffing and puffing in exhaustion through his annoyance at Jaehwan. Apparently, Junghwan was sent out to look for the missing Jaehwan and, "you should have told me where you were, I've been walking around town for hours just to find you!"

Jaehwan remembers also that Hongbin thought he was skipping classes, chiding him to not skip school. Jaehwan wanted to rebut him; if Jaehwan should be in school then Hongbin should have been too! But Jaehwan was already on the way out with Junghwan, without a proper goodbye.

They did have a quick goodbye, but there was no chance for a see you next time. No time for exchanging phone numbers or even an email address. It was like a blooming fate that got its string cut loose before it even flourished.

EIGHTEEN

The familiar face on the TV screen had Hongbin stopping in his track out of the lounge area. He had come into the area only to refill his bottle, as a short break between his gaming practices. In the almost two years that he had been living in the team's house, Hongbin had never stayed in the lounge area long enough to catch a show on the television. He preferred to play games in one of the practice rooms. It thus took him by surprise not just to see a familiar face but also to hear a recognizable voice coming from the television.

The person on-screen introduced himself as Ken. It wasn't the name Hongbin knew, it wasn't Jaehwan. It was silly how he remembered Jaehwan after all the years despite having interacted for a mere couple of hours. Hongbin wondered, all the same, if Jaehwan remembered him. It felt surreal that it was through the big screen that Hongbin saw Jaehwan once again. Still, Hongbin was contented to see that Jaehwan was well and smiling with ease, as if he had found and settled into his own skin, no longer the runaway kid Hongbin met.

In a way, they were both no longer the lost souls who crossed paths three years ago, each of them moving forward on their separate paths to success.

TWENTY-ONE

Recently, Hongbin has been receiving a lot more invites for variety shows and advertisements. It has been three years since he first shot to fame as the rookie to watch out for. As the relentless love calls indicate, he is still killing it in the pro-gaming scene as one of the top players in the league.

There are invites to shows that Hongbin cannot fathom why they would request for a pro-gamer's appearance. Moreover, for all the confidence that he exudes when he's in front of the computer taking out competitors with virtual arrows, Hongbin is actually still clumsy when it comes to offline interaction with strangers. In the end, he decides to stick with safer grounds and opts for a show about gaming as his first show appearance.

When he arrives at the tall SBS building, he's escorted into the building, and then onto the escalator for the 5th floor where the filming will take place, probably. Hongbin has no idea to be honest, he is just going to let the staff lead him to wherever he should be.

He's dropped off in front of a dressing room with a paper that had the logo of Game Show 유희낙락 stuck on its closed door. This is the correct room then, Hongbin thinks as he pushes the door open.

He is slightly startled to see someone already in the room. As he walks in, he notices through the large mirrors by the side of the room that the person is hunched over and staring intently at his phone, playing one of the latest games in trend.

Hongbin eases into a smile as he moves quietly towards the man whose eyebrows are furrowed in concentration.

"Hyung, you suck at this game too."

Ken turns back, surprise written in his features, and his focus is broken off from his phone. The sound which accompanies a game character's death rings in the background.

After moments of what felt like time has stopped around them, Ken, Jaehwan, grins back widely, eyes turning into crescents, and Hongbin ignores the short twinge in his heart.

This time, it is as if the cut strings of fate have entwined and fastened together, even stronger than before.

"So, teach me."

[donewithjeon]

Doors opened around 7ish so we were outside for 13hrs lol but we took turns waiting in line and also made friends with a few other people around us so it wasn't entirely terrible. Luckily I didn't get sick but being in the cold always makes my nose run. I did get some pretty amazing photos!! Omg so Gongchan's my bias and he was the first for the hi-touch so my mind kinda blanked out like he's the most beautiful person I've ever seen so close irl so my memory is a tad hazy ㅠㅠ -angst anon [1]

But I clearly remember that Sandeul had really really soft hands lmao I might sell one of my albums for more than I got it lol but I do have a friend that likes B1A4 too so I might give her one! Man I'd go with you to the concert in a heartbeat if I didn't have to buy plane tickets (´༎ຶོຶོ﹏༎ຶོ`) why must I live in the middle of nowhere?! D: also completely off topic (I saw another ask), I knew you know Korean but damn you learned Japanese, Mandarin, AND Cantonese before English?!?!? -angst anon

WOW. 13 hours?! That’s a relief that you guys took turns, but that’s still such a long time. D: But I guess that’s the price you have to pay in order to stand in the front rows. Yay you got photos! I would ask if I could see them, but I don’t know how we would go about doing that through here haha.

Omg, having your bias be first for the hi-touch would be enough for anyone to have a mental breakdown. My mind would probably go blank if I got that close to any of my biases too. BUT GAHHH SOFT HANDS. ;__; I hope I can do some hi-touches in the future so I can say that as well. You’re so sweet though for giving your friend a signed CD. :’) Selling it does seem like the next best thing though. I’m sure whoever buys it will be very thankful for it. (~˘▾˘)~

Aww. ;__; I would totally tell you to come to the concert with me. If only you lived closer. I have no idea how much flights are right now to LA, but the last time I checked the prices from a bunch of places in the world, they were surprisingly cheap. (A big reason why Rike was able to come visit me last month. :3)

Ahaha, yeah. I grew up with those languages, so it doesn’t feel like too much of a big deal to me. I’m very thankful to my parents for helping me learn them from such a young age. And of course, I still continue to use all those languages today, so yay it stuck~ (◕‿◕✿)