#sanders sides discussion

[analoceits]

the backlash against unsympathetic sides as a tag is. very silly to me.

the mains reasons i've seen is one, its usually ooc to a degree, and two, it characterizes them as evil entirely, which is bad or childish in someway.

for one - this isnt true. it usually bastardizes their major traits to make an interesting villain (patton is usually highly "moral", roman is prideful and selfish, logan is cold and distant, virgil is cruel and uncaring, etc.) this does lead to ooc-ness, but thats by design.

for two - i think that misses the point. "unsympathetic" literally just means that the work does not sympathize with them or their actions. its a warning; to tell fans of that character that this character wont be potrayed in any positive way. of course this means theyll come off as evil, you aren't seeing any of the good.

imo, its similar to the "dead dove: do not eat" tag. its a flavor tag.

lets say you start going through a fics tags, and you see "murderer virgil" you might think "oh, ok, this is a fic where we are pretending murder is ok - thats chill, i like that" but then seeing "unsympathetic virgil" tells you that he is a villain here, and if you dont like that - you may click off.

same thing as reading the tag "murder" on a fic, and assuming it will be past or undescriptive. but, reading "dead dove: do not eat" will tell you "oh, this will be very gory and upsetting, i dont want to read it!"

it gives context for how bad a thing will be.

[alexi-was-not-here]

I find it rather intresting that Logan hates dad jokes so much. Like, there is so much room for word-play and smart jokes to be made with them and yet he gets SO ANNOYED whenever Patton {or the others} make one.

Idk just a thought

[halfhissandwich]

You look great, Logan :D

[loganslowdown4]

The funniest read-between-the-lines part of the Halloween-Xmas episode is that Janus had a ScoobyDoo costume all ready to go but they didn’t invite him or he didn’t attend because he couldn’t find the collar-tag lol

And ScoobyDoo is notoriously scared of monsters which the others were dressed as?

It’s like if the light sides were all dressed as monsters/villains for hallowXmas that would mean Janus -notorious dark side- would have to dress like a good guy lolol

But like the most scaredy good guy ever 😂

He really wants to be part of the team doesn’t he? 😂

[an-organized-confusion]

Random fuzziness/blendiness among the Sides is great to me. (Because there's a lot of fuzziness in labeling features of the psyche when ya go past the brass tacks. Reflective of how reality tends to wriggle at labels/categories, when under enough scrutiny.)

Like. I feel like the whole getting decapitated on "it's a small world" tangent Logan had in AA was totally colored by Remus's influence.

No one is gonna convince me otherwise on that one.

[amazable01]

God, I've been thinking about Remus and Patton in canon, but I haven't known what to say, but now with the finale being worked on, I feel like this is a good time to talk about this. Cause if you go back with a fresh mind (blocking out fanon concepts and just watching the actual material), Remus and Patton don't hate each other at all. In fact, in a platonic/foil kind of way, I think they complete each other, and work well together like Roman and Logan.

Remus never once in canon has insulted Patton. He has offered up uncomfortable ideas, but if anything, Remus has encouraged Patton. He gives him a creative blessing for sanitizing, and seems genuinely confused and surprised when Logan brings up Patton being an issue. Remus and Patton also bounce off one another, what with the creative thing in DWIT, but also in the asides with the "kill-joyman" bit and their interactions in the incorrect quotes (and who can forget the air fryer and Remus being genuinely excited and curious about it). Remus never intentionally goes after Patton, and when you would expect him to lash out at Morality, it's said to the group instead of him directly.

And if you look at Remus' few appearances in canon, Patton's presence actually seems to temper him slightly. DWIT, WMPG (Christmas 2023), incorrect quotes, and the asides are VERY light compared to WTIT. While you could call it a change in approach, it's really not. Remus always behaves this way toward Logan specifically, and in WTIT he is intentionally pushing the other far beyond his comfort. Patton not being brought up to help the issue intentionally makes Logan's problem with Remus worse. Which implies Remus does change his behavior slightly around Patton.

But, if Sanders Sides has shown anything across its run, it's to not underestimate the intelligence of any approach or person, regardless of how smart they appear on the surface.

So if Remus was trying to stoke what he imagines is important, he's not going to intentionally kill Thomas' drive by driving him to the brink. I think a lot of people forget that Patton is passion, not Roman. Roman is romantic and creative, but Patton is the actual feeling of passion and motivation for a project. And without that, Roman (and likely Remus) are just thoughts that get lost. And so it makes perfect sense for Remus to not actually hate Patton. Because Patton has never done anything to him, and is the only way that Remus can actually have his thoughts voiced out.*

*Remember that the Split is not canonical or confirmed. There's nothing saying that something like that happened, as Logan said it was "Like an ovum" which would imply this was how they were born. On top of this, if Remus was mad at anyone for separating out the sides like the Split implies, it would be Janus because he decided what was allowed and safe to be known. Patton probably was a contributing factor, but knowing how Patton reacts to changes in environment and nostalgia, I doubt Patton would've actively chosen to change something so drastically. I could make a whole post about this and why the Split isn't really corroborated in canon, but that's another discussion for another time.

[edupunkn00b]

A Modern Family

Written for the wonderful @just-some-gt-trash as part of the @sanderssidesgiftxchange. I'm sorry pinch-hitting meant your gift was late but it meant I got to play in a fun world! I hope you enjoy this little tale.

Rated: G - WC: 4078 - CW: mentions of rodents and spiders -

Christmas and New Year's over, the nights were still long and cold. The forecasters' over-promised snow fell softly outside the windows of the Sanders brothers' house. 'Spring' semester started next week at Logan’s school, so he and Patton had decided this would be a good evening to finally take down their holiday decorations and start to prepare for the new year ahead.

Seeded with a small box of keepsakes from their grandparents, they’d managed to accumulate quite the collection over the past six years, so they’d started early that evening in the hopes of completing their task before bed.

But even the best laid plans can fail. They’d only partially dismantled the tree and cleared the mantle, with candles and stockings and bric-à-brac filling three boxes to the brim, when Patton suddenly yawned, both arms stretched high over his head.

“Wow, Logie,” he said past another drawn out yawn. “I’m feeling like an old drum.”

Logan rolled his eyes at his brother’s old joke but couldn’t quite stifle his snort.

“I’m gonna head to bed,” Patton continued, too tired to notice Logan’s rare acknowledgement of his pun. He hefted up the stack of boxes he’d set behind the couch. “I’ll take these up,” he said, darting for the stairs.

Logan half-turned toward him, one arm wrapped with the singular string of tree lights he’d successfully detangled. “Would you like some—”

“No!” Patton interrupted. He fumbled the boxes, the top jiggling as he scrabbled for a better handhold  “No, I’ve got ‘em,” he said, laughing. “The boxes.” His face pinked and he shrugged his burden with a grin. “The boxes, I mean.”

“Yes,” Logan nodded. “I can see that.” Perhaps sleep was best for him. “Good night, then, Pat.”

Patton was half-way up the stairs before he’d finished his sentence.

“‘Night, Logie!” he called over his shoulder just before the big closet upstairs slammed shut. Patton’s own bedroom door soon followed and Logan was left alone in the quiet living room.

~

It took Logan just over another hour to detangle and rewind the last of the tree lights and he stood back to assess their progress. The room was nearly restored to its standard appearance. There were now a few more books on the shelves and two new video games beneath the console. An unsealed tray of candied nuts sat on the coffee table, just next to the new coasters Logan had bought ‘for the house.’

Both gifts had been for the house. That's what the tags had said, at least. While the coasters were intended as a gentle reminder for Patton to not set drinking glasses down where their condensation would leave rings on unprotected surfaces, the sweet treats were really gift for their closest neighbors.

Their very closest neighbors.

Last July, he and Patton had moved in to their not-so-new house—‘It has good bones!’ the real estate agent had crowed. And, despite the rare-but-too-frequent-for-Patton appearances of tiny spiders throughout the house, they'd agreed. Their new home was large, with plenty of space for Logan’s third floor office overlooking the woods and Patton’s chicken coop in the backyard. Despite the high ceilings and many windows, the thick, well-insulated walls had kept them comfortably cool on even the hottest days.

It hadn’t been until September, on the first chilly night of the year, that Logan had begun to suspect they weren’t the only mammals living within its walls.

At first Logan had surmised his brother’s less-than-fastidious kitchen habits had led to a minor rodent infestation. Small amounts of food had began to go missing. He’d found opened cracker boxes with long, thin slits torn into their linings. Patton’s Nutter Butters ran out faster than typical and a hole sprouted near the bottom of his bagged coffee beans. They never found any droppings or teeth marks, so they simply repackaged everything in airtight containers and didn’t think much more of it.

Until October came.

It was midterm season and Logan had a thick stack of essays waiting for him on his desk. While requiring students to hand-write their exams in class had proved an effective deterrent against AI drivel, it meant more work for him in grading—and deciphering—over two hundred essays written with varying levels of coherence and legibility. Waiting for that evening’s fourth cup of coffee to brew, he’d removed his eyeglasses and leaned back against the counter, relishing a moment of required rest.

“You know,” a tiny voice drawled a few inches from his ear. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about your new coffee tin.”

He jolted up, barely avoiding the now-simmering kettle, and found himself eye-to-eye with… a person. A very smallperson.

“What?” Logan ripped off his eyeglasses and polished them on his sweater. Hands shaking, he replaced them and stepped closer, staring. “What are you?”

“Excuse you,” the little creature harrumphed, smoothing the sleeves of a tiny overcoat. “I am a who, not a ‘what.’”

Logan blinked at the creature for a long moment and it snapped its fingers inches from his nose. “Hel-lo? Anyone home?” When Logan still couldn’t quite find his words, it sighed. “It appears Remus was wrong about you. He said you could handle it but I knew we should have—”

“Remus? You—he? There’s more—”

Logan’s sputtering was cut off by the kettle's screech. Hands covering its—his? Their?—ears, it jumped down from the shelf and stomped on the switch, silencing the whistle. The action shook free the logjam of thoughts in Logan’s brain. “How did you know to do that?”

“Oh, look, he finally speaks,” the little creature murmured, one eyebrow cocked. “Well, I’ve watched you often enough.”

“You’ve…” Logan shuddered as he glanced around the kitchen, every shadow, every nook and cranny looming and large. “You’ve been watching us?”

“Yes, of course w—” The creature cut themself off, large—for their face—eyes suddenly widening before falling back to a more languid shape. “Look at us,” they said, gesturing between them.  “Your size makes you remarkably more threatening to me than I could ever be to you.”

“You could poison me,” Logan blurted out. “Or nick my carotid artery or cause me to aspirate Vaseline—”

Both hands pressed over their belly, the little creature laughed, an incongruously cheerful sound that halted Logan’s litany faster than anything else could have. “While I appreciate the list…” they said when they finally caught their breath. They wiped tiny tears from the corners of their eyes, soaking the butter yellow gloves they wore. “That would mean murdering the best resource w—I’ve had in years.”

“Resource?” Logan repeated, lowering into a crouch to once again get to eye-level with the creature. Looking closer at the gloves, he recognized the material of his favorite proctoring tie. The creature’s waistcoat looked suspiciously like the tie he wore now. Frowning, he examined the material of his own. The silk was completely unmarred, but bringing it closer to the creature’s clothing, the match was undeniable.

“No need to worry, I’d sooner go naked than damage your lovely neckwear.” The creature smiled—knowingly, infuriatingly, with a little gleam in their eyes. He stroked the edge of his tie. “You never use the coordinating pocket squares.”

“I thought…”

Patton’s confused grin when Logan had thanked him after his last run to Goodwill suddenly made sense. When the small stack of unworn handkerchiefs and pocket squares in the back of his closet had disappeared, Logan had assumed Patton included them in his donation. He now understood just where they'd really gone.

“You’re behind the missing food,” he whispered, the creature’s comment about his coffee canister replaying in his mind.

“Perhaps Remus was right after all,” the creature murmured and offered their hand, palm side-ways. Carefully, softly, Logan pinched the offered hand between the pad of his thumb and index finger in a simulacrum of a handshake. “My name is Janus,” the creature smiled. “And we need to have a talk about your new food storage system.”

Over shared coffee—Janus carried his own miniature mug clipped to the pack slung across his back—they discussed how difficult it had become for Janus and his friend, Remus, to gather food from their kitchen. Ever since Logan and Patton had begun their anti-rodent measures in the kitchen, their small neighbors had been left to subsist on literal crumbs and the rare windfalls when Patton had left a package or treat out for longer than usual. After much discussion and negotiation, he and Janus crafted an agreement that both kept the kitchen sanitary and their little neighbors safe and well-fed.

“Besides,” Janus had murmured, sipping happily at his second cup of coffee. “Remus takes great pleasure in slaughtering any sort of pest that might dare enter this home.” He waggled his head, considering his words, before adding. “Excepting, of course, spiders,” he said, rolling his eyes. “He adores them.”

“Yes, we’ve seen a few,” Logan grimaced. “Though, as frightened as Patton is of them, he would never kill them.”

Smiling that strange smile again, Janus nodded. “So we’ve noticed,” he finally said. “To be honest, that restraint was the only thing that left me confident to approach you without fear of being squashed on sight.”

~

And so began a very different sort of routine. Each night, Logan would wash and refill a small, shallow container with bits of fruit and meats and bread along with several coffee beans. Occasionally, he’d include a small sachet of loose tea or other treats of chocolate and candies Patton had recently made.

Water was trickier, but after some experimentation, Logan had installed a small rodent-sized water feeder in an upper cabinet, threading the bent barrel through a small hole he’d drilled in the back wall when Patton was out shopping. He sanitized it every two days and refilled it with fresh water each night.

His brother held a deep compassion for animals, that same compassion that kept Logan from using bait or traps or, worse, a cat, to manage their presumed rodent problem. Janus was confident Patton's compassion would overrule his even deeper fear of 'creepy, crawl death dealers' and slow a violent reaction should either suddenly appear before him.

Logan did not share Janus' confidence and extracted promises from each of them to stay out of his brother’s sight entirely.

Remus, dressed in a shiny green-and-black striped jester suit newly stitched together from a regrettably ink-stained necktie, had been reluctant to promise. In the end, though, he’d been convinced by Patton’s well-timed shriek at the discovery of a spider in the upstairs bath.

Perhaps that is why, when Logan sealed another box of decorations and happened upon the green-and-black pant leg sticking out from beneath the couch, he had only sighed and tapped his foot. “Remus?” he called quietly, eyes darting automatically to the stairs to guard against a surprise arrival from Patton. “Remus what are you doing under there?”

When Remus remained unresponsive, he tapped again, a little harder. “Remus?” he repeated, the unnatural stillness unnerving. “Remus, are you alri—” Cupping his hand, he gently scooped up the small creature and freed him from beneath the couch.

And nearly dropped him. Well, it. Clad in Remus’ green and black outfit was the similarly-sized Elf-on-a-shelf figurine Patton had jokingly purchased just after Thanksgiving.

“Oh, no,” Logan whispered, clutching the small doll to his chest. “Remus?” he hissed, pushing up to his feet. “Remus, where are you?” He scanned the room, checking all the corners where the duo liked to hide as they joined in on his and Patton’s movie nights, checked the bookcase where he’d arranged a reversed magnifier close to the smallest volumes in his collection to ease their reading. Nothing.

Finally, his eyes dragged up to the shelf where said Elf sat all December.

Completely cleared.

Patton had packed up all the knick-knacks and decorations hours ago. Remus couldn’t be hiding there. “Remus?” he tried again.

“He isn’t home. Hasn’t been all day.” Janus’ voice carried from a crack in the wall, tight with worry. “He went out early in the morning but should be back by now. I don’t know where he is.”

Janus stepped out from their hidden doorway into the living room. Hat crooked and his knees dusty, never before had Janus appeared so not put together. Dirt smudged his cheek and loose threads hung from the cuff of his left glove. “I’ve looked everywhere. I can’t find him.”

“Oh, Jay…” Logan whispered and moved to scoop him up. “We’ll find him together. I think…” His eyes flicked upstairs. “I think Patton might have packed him with the Christmas decorations. But we must hurry. He—”

Janus’ eyes, already glossy, grew wide. “All that bubblewrap? And if he breaks out to breathe and Patton sees him, he might—”

“We'll find him," Logan promised, holding him close before. "Let's go." Already headed for the stairs, at Janus' nod Logan slipped him into a deep pocket to hide and dashed up to the second floor.

~

Covers pulled up over his head with the space beneath illuminated by his phone’s flashlight, Patton lay, belly down, on his bed. His stockinged feet switched between resting on his pillow and kicking the edge of the blanket as he laughed.

And unwrapped another chocolate for Remus.

“Okay, okay, okay, my turn,” he giggled. “Where does a general put his armies?”

Sprawled on his side with melted chocolate painting the edges of his mustache, Remus looked thoughtful for a moment, then grinned. “In the ground?”

“No!” Patton whisper-shrieked with a giggle. “In his sleevies!”

Falling onto his back and holding his belly, Remus laughed, the sweet tinkle matching the bells twitching on his borrowed hat and boots. Patton grinned as he broke off another tiny bit of his Ghirardelli square and passed it to him. He tapped one of the bells with another laugh. “I still can’t believe how long you managed to sit up on the mantlepiece.”

Eyebrows danced over wild eyes and Remus shrugged. “All your brother saw was the costume.”

Patton popped another chocolate into his own mouth and shook his head. “I thought for sure he caught me when he asked if I needed help with the box.” Reaching slowly, he dabbed at Remus’ face with the edge of his pajama sleeve, wiping away a tiny glob of chocolate. “You were laughing so loud!”

“Nah,” Remus leaned into Patton’s touch and curled against his hand. “Your brother’s so worried about you he wouldn’t notice if I’d stripped down in the middle of the living room.” Waggling his eyebrows, Remus winked. “He didn’t, did he?”

“That spider was suspiciously timed,” Patton murmured, stroking Remus’ hair back with the edge of his thumb.

Remus hummed, eyes falling shut. “Y���know they’re really not so bad when you give them a chance.”

“No, thank you!” Patton said for the millionth time. He twitched under the covers, just the thought of being near one of those horrible things sending an icy chill down his limbs.

Remus moved closer and hugged his hand. “Don’t worry, Pattycake,” he said, softer. “They won’t get too close to you.” His grin went sharp. “If they know what’s good for ‘em.”

“Thanks, Re,” he whispered. “You always know just what to—”

Patton froze at Logan’s sudden voice just outside his door. “Pat?” he called, voice low like he was afraid he’d wake him.

Pressing one finger to his lips, Patton drew Remus close and poked his head out from under the covers. He checked the time. He’d gone upstairs over two hours ago. Logan would expect him to be asleep by now, right?

Keeping Remus tucked against his chest so he wouldn’t squish him, Patton turned them around and lay back down under the covers, head now on the pillow. He’d just remembered to flip over his phone to hide the flashlight as Logan slowly opened the door.

“Pat?” he whispered into the darkness. Silhouetted by the hall light, Logan’s head turned from side to side as he peered into the room.

Rubbing his eyes with one hand—the other holding Remus under the covers—Patton put on a sleep-fuzzy voice. “Logie? You okay?”

“I am fine, I—I apologize for waking you, Patton.” He sounded rushed and… anxious.

Under the covers, Remus curled closer, stroking just over Patton’s sternum. He'd heard it, too. He wiggled against him, a welcome reminder he was still close and Patton took a steadying breath.

“Did something happen?”

“I—No. No, nothing to worry about, Patton.” He’d put on his calm, Big Bro voice. “I… I merely found a few additional items downstairs I’d neglected to pack away in the boxes you’d brought up. I went to find them and they weren’t all in the closet. I… Do you…”

He cleared his throat and Patton pulled Remus a little closer when he felt a snicker escape him. Logan didn’t seem to hear.

“Do you have the mantle box in here?” Logan finally asked, still in the doorway.

“Oh,” Patton giggled. That’s all he was worried about? “Oh, sure,” he said, sitting up a bit more and clicking on his bedside lamp. “By the dresser.” Relieved he’d thought to retape the box where he’d hidden Remus, he pointed freely.

Logan’s eyes widened when he saw the sealed box and he pounced on it, tearing at the tape.

“Logie?” Tucking Remus under the covers, he slid out of bed and moved to Logan’s side as he rifled through the box. He took out the bubble-wrapped snow globe and their stockings, along with the heavy copper hooks that held them in place. He pushed aside the ten years’ worth of Santa photos, the ice skating figurine, and the Phantom of the Opera music box that always played too loud.

Increasingly frantic, Logan’s fingers scraped the bottom of the box.

“Logie?” Patton asked again. “Are you looking for something?”

“Tell him!” A tiny voice—not Remus’ voice—came from Logan’s pocket.

Logan straightened, looking everywhere but at Patton.

“Who was that?” Patton asked and he swore he heard another of Remus’ little snickers from the bed.

“Wha—I—It—” Logan shook his head. “I didn’t hear anything. I am merely looking for—”

“Looking for me?” Remus called loudly from the bed, bells jangling.

The little voice swore from Logan's pocket. “Dammit, Remus!”

“Re!” Patton cried, moving to the bed.

“Re?” Logan repeated, grabbing for his hand before Patton got far. He finally met his eyes. “Re?” he asked again.

“The jig is up, Pattycake,” Remus laughed, shimmying down the comforter and dropping to the carpeted floor with the whisper of a thud. Pulling back from Logan, Patton rushed to meet him. He scooped him up and gently cradled him in both hands, over-sized elf costume bouncing with the movement. He brought him closer for Logan to see.

“Yes. 'Re.' Logan, this is Remus,” he admitted. “He won’t hurt you. He's friendly!”

Sitting criss-cross on Patton’s palm, Remus waved and blew a kiss at Logan. “Hey there, Lo Lo!”

“I know who he is!” Logan cried, hand to his head. “How do you know who he is?”

“You know!?”

“Of course he knows!” The other voice said and a tiny head popped out from Logan’s pocket.

“Oh, hi, Jannie,” Remus said, sounding guilty for the first time that evening.

The tiny person in Logan’s pocket—so this was the friend Remus had talked about—tapped Logan’s side and he moved to retrieve him. Palms flat and close to his chest, he carried him on his hands in a near match to how Patton held Remus.

Though instead of sitting comfortably as Remus did, the other—Jannie—clung to Logan’s tie with one hand and stood, glaring at Remus. “Do you have even a concept of how worried we were?”

“What?” Remus’ grin scrunched into actual concern and he tugged Patton’s sleeve to move closer. “I told you I was going to go see my boyfriend!”

“I thought you meant the orb spider in the backyard!”

Patton shivered at the memory of the spindly striped legs of the giant spider under the deck railing out back. Nestled close to the dryer vent, it had found a cozy spot to spin its webs for the winter.

Remus was quick to soothe him, though, tiny fingers scritchting his palm. “Don’t worry, Patton, it’s not like that with Charlie.”

“Aw, Re…” Patton bowed his head to brush the very lightest of kisses against the top of his head. He must’ve ditched the hat somewhere along his path down from Patton’s bed. “I don’t own you. Just… don’t bring him home, okay?”

“Deal,” Remus grinned, settling back against his palm.

“Wait a minute!”

All eyes turned to Logan. Eyes wild and each cheek dotted with an angry red spot, he looked ready to burst. Remus nodded to Janus in warning just before jumping over to join him on Logan’s hand. Then he climbed up his sleeve and all the way up to his head. Laying on his stomach, he moved his arms and legs, massaging his scalp. Janus followed a similar path up his other arm but stopped on his shoulder, gently stroking his jaw.

Patton took Logan's now-empty hand.

“You’ve got our attention, Lo Lo,” Remus said, voice only slightly muffled by Logan’s hair.

“Patton,” he began through clenched teeth. He searched his eyes. “How long have you known?”

Guilt pricked his belly and he squeezed Logan’s hand. “I met Remus just after your classes started.”

“What!?” Janus cried, glaring up at Remus on top of Logan’s head. “So when you said we should tell Logan first, Patton already knew?”

Remus gave him his best smile and shrugged.

“Yeah…” He twirled a bit of Logan’s hair in his hands. “I thought it’d be funny.” Logan looked like he wanted to be mad, but Remus’ fiddling seemed to have the same effect on Logan as it had on him. His shoulders had dropped, arms only loosely crossed over his chest but then he’d frown, jaw suddenly clenched. It wouldn't last, though.

“I didn’t think anybody’d be able to keep the secrets up this long,” Remus explained after a moment. “I’m proud of you, Pattycake.” He winked and, despite the lingering annoyance in his brother’s gaze, Patton couldn’t stop his cheeks from warming.

Logan sighed and looked up, head tilted ever so slightly. “Remus, precisely how long ago did you make this particular change?” he asked, voice softer now.

“Oh, this?” he grinned, waggling his arms until the elf’s too-long sleeves flapped over his hands. The bells on the felt boots jangled with the movement. “This was just today.”

Logan’s brow furrowed. “I am disappointed in my lack of awareness and attention to detail,” he murmured and Janus slid closer, pressing a kiss just under his ear.

“Remus can be quite stealthy when he wishes to be,” he said. Scowling, his tiny face looked stern but pride warmed his voice. “You might be surprised by how often he’s been able to catch even me unawares.”

Remus shimmied back down and jumped to Logan’s shoulder. “It’s a gift,” he laughed and reached for Patton.

He gathered him up and smiled at his brother. “So now the secret’s out, maybe we can all go downstairs?” Looking at Janus happily perched on Logan’s shoulder, he grinned. His newest friend bowed his head in return with a matching smile. “Get everyone acquainted?”

“Hm? Ye—yes,” Logan blinked, glancing between him and Patton. “Yes, of course.” But the wheels still turned behind his eyes. “There was something you said…” he murmured and moved Janus to his palm. Arms outstretched, he peered at each of them in turn. “Remus, you said you’d gone to see your boyfriend.”

“Well, yeah,” Remus grinned, laying across Patton’s shoulder. He tickled his neck, laughing at the little squeak Patton couldn’t quite hide.

“Boyfriend.” Logan repeated, one eyebrow raised.

“Doesn’t seem all that different from you, Big Bro,” Patton grinned back. Janus half-sat, half-lay on Logan’s palm, smiling as Logan’s thumb seemed to unconsciously stroke his back.

Logan followed his gaze and blushed.

“Perhaps, well…” He cleared his throat. “Well, yes, I suppose that would not be… inaccurate,” he said, cheeks pinker than Patton had seen them in years. “Tea?” he asked, changing the subject and heading out into the hall. Janus’ low chuckle carried back to them and Patton followed, Remus on his shoulder.

“How ‘bout a hot toddy?” he called back.

“Remus!”

~

And, for a treat, here's one of the poses Remus kept up for over an hour on that mantle piece.

Credit: Photographer unknown, from an elf on the shelf posting found on Facebook Marketplace

[naminethewriter]

Thank You for Finding Me

Chapter Three: Talking It Out

Masterpost | First | Previous | Next | Ao3

@intrulogicalweek

Story Summary: Logan didn’t date or really had any friends but when this strange guy asks him out while complimenting his posterior, he can’t help but be intrigued.

Content Warnings: Rage room, Discussions of Unhappy Childhood

~~*~~

For around twenty minutes, Logan just let himself feel and destroy. Every time he felt dismissed by his parents bubbled up again and he first threw more plates before Remus put the metal bat in his hand again and pointed him to the tv.

It was a very old model that resembled the one his parents had during his childhood. He hadn’t been allowed to watch any program that his parents hadn’t approved of. They all watched the news together. It wasn’t the worst, but it did bring up a new flood of unpleasant memories. The isolation he felt at school when all his classmates talked about their favorite shows or games he wasn’t allowed to own.

The bat had shattered the screen on the first hit.

Eventually Remus handed him the sledgehammer. It had made it all the more satisfying.

Despite Logan’s new state fueled by the desire to destroy, he was always aware of where Remus was in the room and ensured he wasn’t caught up in his anger even slightly. Though Remus kept himself out of the way just fine, cheering Logan on as he himself kicked the chairs into splinters.

Logan let the sledgehammer fall to the ground when he was done. His arms ached and he was out of breath, but he hadn’t felt so light in a long, long time. He stumbled back to the door and leaned against it. He would have sat down if the ground wasn’t covered with glass and plastic shards and wooden splinters.

“You good?” Remus asked, breaking a chair leg over his thigh.

“Yes. I think my arms will be sore tomorrow, but I feel great. I think I am done for today, however.”

“Yeah, that tracks. You just experienced a lot at once. How about we grab a drink and talk about it? Letting anger out like this is great, but I feel like I just made you realize a lot of trauma and you can’t really process that without talking about it. Though I’m also okay if you have someone else in mind you’d rather do that with. Just wanted to offer.”

Logan was pretty sure that was the first time he saw Remus flustered. His cheeks were a bit red, and he scratched at his mustache.

“No, a drink with you sounds lovely. I would like to learn more about you, too.”

“Good! Great! Let’s go.”

Logan chuckled lightly, the expression on Remus’ face was precious in his opinion. It seemed like sincerity disarmed him rather quickly.

They returned to the dressing room and put all the equipment back where they took it from. On their way out, Amanda smiled.

“Had fun?”

“Fuck yeah! You should’ve seen him take apart that tv, it was so hot.”

Amanda rolled her eyes fondly and clicked a few things on her computer.

“There’s your total. Thank you for your patronage.”

Remus tapped his card against the reader and winked at her.

“See ya soon!”

“I don’t doubt it!” she called after them as Remus once again held open the door for Logan.

“How regularly do you come here?”

“Couple times a month, usually. Got a membership, so I get a nice discount.”

“And how are they supplied with the items?”

“Well, some are donations from customers, some are from deals they have with other stores like this one.” Remus pointed to the electronics store that Logan noticed on their way in. “They basically accept old electronics and take them apart to see what they can still use and give the rest downstairs. The tv you went ham on probably had some hardware taken out of it prior. And then there’s junkyards that are willing to give them things too.”

“Very interesting. On to another matter, however, what kind of drinks were you imagining? I am driving, so I cannot drink alcohol.” Logan usually came to work by bike, but he hadn’t known for how long Remus’ planned activities would last, so he figured taking the car was the safer option.

“That’s cool. I’m not really into spontaneous drinking either. I was more thinking coffee or sodas or something.”

“I would like a coffee,” Logan agreed. “And I would like to pay for it.”

“Sounds good.”

They walked in comfortable silence to a nearby coffee shop and both selected their drinks. Remus asked if they wanted to sit down but Logan found he now had a lot of nervous energy he wanted to walk off. So instead, they made their way to the nearby park.

“How would you like to talk about it?” Remus eventually asked. “Should I ask questions? Do you wanna talk and I just let you ramble?” He waved his hand around in an ‘et cetera’ motion and Logan smiled, grateful for his thoughtfulness.

“I would like to hear about your thoughts, actually. What were you thinking about when you hit that shelf for example?”

“Well, mostly work stuff. I’m a teacher and some of my colleagues are annoying. Nothing major but it’s been frustrating recently.”

“I am surprised. You don’t strike me as someone who’d want to be a teacher.”

Remus chuckled.

“You’re not the only one. But it’s been on my mind since my school days actually. It’s probably easy to imagine that I had my struggles. I was hella smart, but I had an ‘attitude problem’ according to most of my teachers. Made it hard to enjoy learning when they criticized me for every small thing. Felt like no one was on my side for the most part. So, I decided I wanted to become a teacher and be on the side of kids like me who didn’t fit in easily. And I think that’s working out rather well.”

“That’s wonderful, Remus.”

“Thank you! When I told my parents about it, I think I changed their view of me quite a bit.”

“How so?”

“Well, they always favored Roman over me. Not sure if they were all that aware of it but I sure felt it. They didn’t like the way I dressed all that much or that I started dyeing my hair. They didn’t interfere or anything, but they’d make comments. And they believed the teachers when they accused me of starting fights and talking back for no reason. When I enrolled in college for my teaching degree was the point where they realized that I was serious about the whole thing, I think. They’ve been a lot kinder to me since.”

“What about your brother?” Logan asked. He was very curious how similar the brothers were to each other.

“We didn’t share a lot of classes in high school, so he couldn’t really say one way or the other. He was there for me when it mattered but he also had a lot of friends and after-school activities, so he was out a lot. We went to the same college though. It was a lot of fun. He lives a few hours away now and I kinda miss him. Not that I would ever tell him that.”

“I see…”

“You good?” Remus asked quietly. They passed an empty bench and Remus gestured at it as if to ask if they wanted to sit down. Logan nodded and let himself sink onto the wood. The sun danced through the leaves of a nearby tree, and he took a deep breath.

“Yes. I was just wondering what it would have been like if I had a sibling. My parents told me when I asked if I would get one, that they only needed me to inherit their assets. Another child would just complicate things.”

“That sounds harsh.” Remus had sprawled out on the bench, his arms slung over the backrest and his back melted against the wood. In contrast, Logan maintained his upright posture, just how his mother had taught him.

“Maybe. I already knew that I was born for a purpose, so I wasn’t all that surprised. When my grandfather heard about it though, he was furious.”

“He sounds like he was a cool guy.”

“He was more open than my parents, but he still wasn’t that different. He had raised my father after all. Until he retired, I rarely met him. It was afterwards when he had time that he started to care. He agreed with my parents that knowledge was the most important thing and made sure that I had the best education I could have but he also said that all that knowledge was worthless if it wasn’t used to lead the life I wanted to live. That’s why he got my parents to let him take care of me. He wanted me to make my own choices, that’s all. If I wanted to read a novel instead of a philosophy book, then that was fine by him. But emotional expression wasn’t something he excelled at either. None of them had much appreciation for the arts either.”

“Ouch. Artistic expression was a big thing in my family. Ro does theater and writing. I do more drawing and sculpting. Mom’s a dancer and dad can play so many instruments, it’s crazy. But yeah, no wonder you had so much repressed anger. That sounds like one bleak childhood.”

“It wasn’t all bad. Like I said, I enjoyed playing the piano. And sometimes my mother would do a jigsaw puzzle with me. It wasn’t much but she’d smile at me when we’d finish one. Father and I read together. They got me a DS and the Professor Layton games when I explained to them that it included a lot of puzzles. They praised and rewarded me when I got good grades. Grandfather even got my father to agree to foregoing his inheritance so that I could have it all. I can be a librarian and not worry about expenses. I know they cared for me in some ways.”

Silence hung between them for a moment and Logan watched the steam rise from his coffee cup. He took a sip, and it tasted just right.

“I’m glad you can do what you want now. But you went through a lot to get here and I’m proud of you for making it. You’ve worked hard.”

The sincerity in Remus’ words brought tears to Logan’s eyes.

“Thank you. I’m proud of you, too. You looked at your hardships and decided to make sure the same thing wouldn’t happen to other children. That’s wonderful.”

“Thanks, Lolo. That means a lot.”

They smiled at each other and the world seemed just a little bit brighter.

[darksides-dutchess]

The things I'd give for the any sides to be placed in a room with two chairs and a table and just talk. I don't care what the topic is about I just want them to talk.

Having a heart to heart, random rambles about something, bickering and arguing on a topic, I don't care, let them have a conversation.

[effable-as-f]

Bro I just realized that Thomas (at least. In a way) incorporated one of Remus’ ideas

[noblest-roman-of-them-all]

Body Horror and Nightmare

In the aftermath of Revenge, Remus has a nightmare that forces him to confront his own trauma and fears.

Remus rolled down the corridor, eager to greet the returning crew, and Janus most of all.

"Hey!" He greeted cheerfully. "How'd-" The words died in his throat, a somber air hung heavily about. He glanced at each grief stricken face and his heart began to pound. "Where's Janus."

"Re-"

"Where is he?" Remus snapped cutting off his twin.

"I'm sorry," Thomas croaked, clearly fighting back tears.

"Sorry?" Remus shook his head, refusing to acknowledge the implication. "What you- Where is he?" He demanded.

Thomas reached out and dropped a ring in Remus’s palm.

"No."

"We tried-"

"No!"

"We couldn't-"

"No! What is this? Some kind of a sick prank? Where is he? Janus!" He tried pushing past Thomas, but he grabbed his wheelchair.

"He's gone," Thomas said, tears rolling down his cheeks. "I'm sorry."

"He's not!" Remus objected thickly. "He can't be."

"Remus-"

"Don't touch me!" He snapped and Roman jumped back. "Tell me where he is!"

"He's dead," Logan said flatly, his eyes hollow and sad. "We buried him so he couldnt be turned."

Remus shook his head. "No."

"He's dead, Remus."

He broke then, dropping his head into his hands and wailing loudly. He ripped at his hair and beat his head, the emotion of it all too much physically bear. He screamed and sobbed, sure his chest was going to explode.

Someone was stroking his arm, trying to soothe him, telling it was okay, that he was safe, but none of that mattered.

None of it mattered without Janus.

"I'm right here, darling," a voice whispered.

Remus froze, gasping for air, looking around at the sad and confused faces that watched him breakdown.

"Wake up, sweetheart."

Remus snapped awake, bolting up right, and felt a clammy hand rest agains his arm. "It's okay," Janus soothed and stroked his arm. "It's okay, I'm right here."

Remus let out a breath and pushed his hair back. He turned to kiss his beloved, to hold him close, and be able to feel his breath and heartbeat against him to know he was truly alive.

He was met with Janus’s decomposing visage.

Remus screamed and threw himself out of the bed, hitting the floor hard, he scrambled away as quickly as he could, as the mosnter that once was Janus rushed toward him, joints moving incorrectly, cracking loudly, skin slipping from his body as he moved.

"Are you okay?" He asked in faux concern that might have been convincing if Remus couldn't see the feral hunger in his once beautiful eyes and the eager twitching in his mouth.

Remus screamed for help as he struggled to get himself up onto his foot, trying to using the wall to keep himself balanced.

"I'm right here, darling," No Longer Janus replied, his voice sickly sweet and his breath rancid. "I've got you now." His fingers dug into Remus's arm with surprising strength, the bones of one tearing right through Janus’s finger and puncturing Remus's arm as he jerked him off the floor. Janus wrapped an arm around him to keep him upright as he had done when he was alive.

"Let's lie back down."

Remus struggled, but couldn't keep his ground without his crutches or prosthetic as he was dragged away from the door and his only means of escape.

Janus pushed into the bed and, before Remus could recover, pinned his arms over his head. Remus writhed as Not Janus pressed his face into his neck, nipping and kissing him across his neck, skin tearing from Janus's face from the friction.

Remus arched his back, sobbing and trying weakly to get away, begging and pleading for Janus to stop, to let him go.

"Let you go?" Janus murmured in his ear, his rotting face nearly flush against Remus’s. "No, my love, I'm just getting started with you." He pressed his whole body onto Remus’s, moaning in pleasure as he thrust his hips forward against Remus, and he screamed in the hopelessness of it all. It was happening again and he was just as helpless as he was before. Just as weak.

Remus gave up then. Laying there, frozen in terrified resignation, sobbing as his once partner continued rubbing against his body and kissing his face and neck, murmuring foul smelling "I love you"s against his face. Wetness smeared across his cheek, but if it was blood or salavia, Remus wasn't sure, nor did he want to know.

"It's just a dream, honey."

"What?" Remus asked, his voice quiet and timid, as he finally dared to look up his love.

Janus stared down at him, his nose missing, torn from his face in his rampage against Remus and flesh barely hanging on the muscle and bone bellow, with a soft expression. "It's just a dream," he whispered.

Remus jolted awake with a terrified gasp, ripping his arm away from whomever was in the dark and fell from the bed as he scrambled for a light.

A lantern flared to life and Remus shrieked, scrambling to get away from the figure that rushed at him.

Janus froze. "Remus?"

Remus snapped to the voice and flopped onto his back with a releaved sob to see Janus, his Janus, alive and worried, holding the light.

Janus rushed forward, but hesitated to touch Remus. "It's okay," he tried to soothe. "You're safe, honey."

They both jumped when the door burst in. Roman ran to his twin and scooped Remus off the floor.

"What happened?" Emile asked.

Janus shook his head. "He was having a nightmare and fell out bed when he woke up and panicked. It was like he was scared of me. He screamed when I went to help him up."

Emile rubbed Janus’s back. "I think he was just scared and disoriented," he tried to encourage as Janus wiped his cheeks. "I don't think he was actually afraid of you."

Remus slowly calmed as Roman rocked him side to side.

"Are you okay?" Roman finally asked and Remus nodded into the crook of his neck. Roman released some of the grip he had on him and Remus sat back and reached for Janus, who eagerly met him in a hug.

"I love you," Remus mumbled, breathing in the familiar scent of his alive Janus.

"I'm so sorry I scared you," Janus answered.

"It wasnt real. It was just a bad dream," Remus muttered. "Just a dream."

Janus nodded. "Thats all. Just a dream."

"I don't wanna go back to sleep."

"You don't have to, darling. I can stay up with you. We don't have to sleep. I'll do whatever you need."

"Just hold me. Just dont let me go."

---

Remus laid with his head in the middle of Janus’s chest, gratefully listening to the rythmic thrum of his heart, and taking slow breathes that matched his beloved's.

He blinked slowly as Janus massaged his head. "I love you," he murmured.

"I love you too. Do you want to talk about it at all?"

Remus let out a shaky breath. "You died," he croaked. "You died and I wasn't even there. They told me when they came back from scouting. Said they'd buried you to keep you from turning. I just...lost it. Had a complete meltdown, then I heard you telling me that you were there, that we both safe and I woke up. Or. Thought I woke up. I woke up in bed and when I turned to look at you so I could know, so I could see you, you'd been turned. I screamed and tried to get out, but I fell, and I didn't have my crutches or my chair or anything, so it was easy for it to get ahold of me. It threw me on the bed and started kissing me, felt like it was licking my neck. I tried pulling arms free, but froze up when it started grinding on me. It was the same thing Liam did to me and I just...gave up. I tried asking it to stop a few times. He'd just moan louder and push harder against me. I just laid there and cried till I heard you tell me it was all a dream and...you were there for the rest of it."

Janus gaped for a moment and shook his head. "That's horrifying!" He cried softly. "God, no wonder you tried to run from me when you woke up! Honey,-"

"It's okay," Remus cut in. He swallowed and took a deep breath. "I know you wouldn't really hurt me."

Janus sighed and stroked his hair. "I wouldn't be offended if you did need some time."

Remus shook his head and hugged Janus tightly. "Honestly, I was more scared of you being dead. Yeah, the other thing was scary because it actually happened to me. But that's kinda how trauma dreams are, y'know? I know you'd never really do that to me. Hell, you wouldn't even let me do that to myself. You've told me to stop when you could tell I was uncomfortable. I know you're not gonna actually do anything to me. But you can die on me. And that scares me a lot more."

Janus sighed, his heart aching for his love. "I love you." It was all he knew to say. It wasn't enough, it wasn't everything he wanted to express, but it was hard to find the right words. Hard to express concern for his beloved without revealing his own feelings of guilt and perhaps even hurt over the nightmare.

He was overwhelmingly grateful and oddly touched that despite the traumatic nature of the dream Remus still trusted him enough to want to sleep near him, that he wasn't afraid of Janus despite how easy it might be for him to overpower him and do any number of horrible things to him.

He also felt sick at being forced to realize what Remus had been through. It hadn't been a secret per se, he'd known Remus had been through some abuse, had been jumpy about touch at one point, he'd even had a panic attack once when they were making out at the start of their relationship.

But he'd never known Remus to just...give up. And the idea that he had been through something that would cause enough terror to simply...give up made his stomach churn.

And worst of all, it seemed to bother him the least of all the things. Like he didn't realize, didn't see it for all it was.

"I'm okay, Jan," Remus said softly, as if he had known what was racing through his mind. "I know I'm safe with you."

"You should have been safe before," Janus answered.

"Yeah, that would've been nice. But I'm safe now. That's a lot more important to me at the moment."

[will-pilled]

I just want to see what Tumblr says about this

[halfhissandwich]

So do you think it’s interesting how Virgil is absent from the scenes that c!Thomas is at his angriest? Every single side has been present to witness angy Thomas (Patton and Roman for all of POF, Janus disguised as Logan in POF, Logan and Remus when “stop ignoring me”) but Virgil (notably a side who encompasses a completely different negative feeling) has been gone from all of it. I know it’s probably a coincidence, it gets my theorist brain going about the possibilities for the Virgil/Orange relationship. In my own experience with anxiety, it tends to take a backseat when I’m angry, and for Virgil to be coincidentally gone from what may be the angriest c!Thomas moments of the whole series, it makes me wonder if it’s the same kinda thing for c!Thomas, and what that would mean for Virgil and Orange as characters.

[myapathyhaspeaked]

do y’all think the sides would have a powerpoint night? actually i’ve already decided that they probably would, now i’m just curious what they’d make powerpoints on

[boygirlctommy]

THANK YIO one more question. Which may also be dumb. Is there like. An official playlist anywhere that i can watch. Sniles

YES here she is:

(and if you make it through that, theres also this asides ep thats the most recent one, its actually pretty good and famously NOT an advertisement, so id recommend watching it when youre caught up :] !!)

[amazable01]

Back on the Sanders Sides grind, and something that the fandom for forgets (but I hope the finale covers) is how much intense pressure the original 3 sides are under.

Like, Patton talks about it a little in POF, but it bears repeating that Logan, Patton, and Roman in particular have massive jobs compared to the others. The best way to chart it out is like this:

Remus has creativity/ideas that are outside the bounds of what is 'acceptable' to share.

Janus has deceit, the social/mental aspects of self-preservation, hiding things, and Thomas' wishes.

Virgil has anxiety, the physical symptoms of excitement and fear, excitement, being the figurative and literal 'alarm system', and self-preservation impulses.

Compared to that:

Roman watches over all creativity/ideas that are within the bounds of sharing and making sure the ideas are executed in manner that feels satisfying, all things relating to romance and romantic feelings, ego, Thomas' left hand, and all impulses relating to romance, ego, creative endeavors, passion, and burnout.

Patton watches over all of morality and determining what should and should not be considered 'acceptable' for specific audiences, emotions and emotional responses, non-romantic love and certain elements of romantic love when it mixes with platonic love, the inner child, memories when they are connected to emotional triggers, and any impulses not already taken by the others.

Logan watches over all logical functions that keep everything stable and running, all knowledge and memory that is not connected to an emotional trigger, keeping a schedule and keeping on that schedule, the truth, Thomas' physical body, Thomas' right hand, and most (but not all) nerdy interests.

While this is a bit of an exaggeration (the others do have certain jobs that are more detailed than stated here, the amount they take on shifts as more sides are introduced, and we're not sure exactly the extent of each side's jobs), it still shows just how much pressure is on the original three. And I hope that is discussed, because something's bound to break if it's not talked about soon...