#sanders sides discussion

[analoceits]

the backlash against unsympathetic sides as a tag is. very silly to me.

the mains reasons i've seen is one, its usually ooc to a degree, and two, it characterizes them as evil entirely, which is bad or childish in someway.

for one - this isnt true. it usually bastardizes their major traits to make an interesting villain (patton is usually highly "moral", roman is prideful and selfish, logan is cold and distant, virgil is cruel and uncaring, etc.) this does lead to ooc-ness, but thats by design.

for two - i think that misses the point. "unsympathetic" literally just means that the work does not sympathize with them or their actions. its a warning; to tell fans of that character that this character wont be potrayed in any positive way. of course this means theyll come off as evil, you aren't seeing any of the good.

imo, its similar to the "dead dove: do not eat" tag. its a flavor tag.

lets say you start going through a fics tags, and you see "murderer virgil" you might think "oh, ok, this is a fic where we are pretending murder is ok - thats chill, i like that" but then seeing "unsympathetic virgil" tells you that he is a villain here, and if you dont like that - you may click off.

same thing as reading the tag "murder" on a fic, and assuming it will be past or undescriptive. but, reading "dead dove: do not eat" will tell you "oh, this will be very gory and upsetting, i dont want to read it!"

it gives context for how bad a thing will be.

[halfhissandwich]

You look great, Logan :D

[amazable01]

God, I've been thinking about Remus and Patton in canon, but I haven't known what to say, but now with the finale being worked on, I feel like this is a good time to talk about this. Cause if you go back with a fresh mind (blocking out fanon concepts and just watching the actual material), Remus and Patton don't hate each other at all. In fact, in a platonic/foil kind of way, I think they complete each other, and work well together like Roman and Logan.

Remus never once in canon has insulted Patton. He has offered up uncomfortable ideas, but if anything, Remus has encouraged Patton. He gives him a creative blessing for sanitizing, and seems genuinely confused and surprised when Logan brings up Patton being an issue. Remus and Patton also bounce off one another, what with the creative thing in DWIT, but also in the asides with the "kill-joyman" bit and their interactions in the incorrect quotes (and who can forget the air fryer and Remus being genuinely excited and curious about it). Remus never intentionally goes after Patton, and when you would expect him to lash out at Morality, it's said to the group instead of him directly.

And if you look at Remus' few appearances in canon, Patton's presence actually seems to temper him slightly. DWIT, WMPG (Christmas 2023), incorrect quotes, and the asides are VERY light compared to WTIT. While you could call it a change in approach, it's really not. Remus always behaves this way toward Logan specifically, and in WTIT he is intentionally pushing the other far beyond his comfort. Patton not being brought up to help the issue intentionally makes Logan's problem with Remus worse. Which implies Remus does change his behavior slightly around Patton.

But, if Sanders Sides has shown anything across its run, it's to not underestimate the intelligence of any approach or person, regardless of how smart they appear on the surface.

So if Remus was trying to stoke what he imagines is important, he's not going to intentionally kill Thomas' drive by driving him to the brink. I think a lot of people forget that Patton is passion, not Roman. Roman is romantic and creative, but Patton is the actual feeling of passion and motivation for a project. And without that, Roman (and likely Remus) are just thoughts that get lost. And so it makes perfect sense for Remus to not actually hate Patton. Because Patton has never done anything to him, and is the only way that Remus can actually have his thoughts voiced out.*

*Remember that the Split is not canonical or confirmed. There's nothing saying that something like that happened, as Logan said it was "Like an ovum" which would imply this was how they were born. On top of this, if Remus was mad at anyone for separating out the sides like the Split implies, it would be Janus because he decided what was allowed and safe to be known. Patton probably was a contributing factor, but knowing how Patton reacts to changes in environment and nostalgia, I doubt Patton would've actively chosen to change something so drastically. I could make a whole post about this and why the Split isn't really corroborated in canon, but that's another discussion for another time.

[naminethewriter]

Thank You for Finding Me

Chapter Three: Talking It Out

Masterpost | First | Previous | Next | Ao3

@intrulogicalweek

Story Summary: Logan didn’t date or really had any friends but when this strange guy asks him out while complimenting his posterior, he can’t help but be intrigued.

Content Warnings: Rage room, Discussions of Unhappy Childhood

~~*~~

For around twenty minutes, Logan just let himself feel and destroy. Every time he felt dismissed by his parents bubbled up again and he first threw more plates before Remus put the metal bat in his hand again and pointed him to the tv.

It was a very old model that resembled the one his parents had during his childhood. He hadn’t been allowed to watch any program that his parents hadn’t approved of. They all watched the news together. It wasn’t the worst, but it did bring up a new flood of unpleasant memories. The isolation he felt at school when all his classmates talked about their favorite shows or games he wasn’t allowed to own.

The bat had shattered the screen on the first hit.

Eventually Remus handed him the sledgehammer. It had made it all the more satisfying.

Despite Logan’s new state fueled by the desire to destroy, he was always aware of where Remus was in the room and ensured he wasn’t caught up in his anger even slightly. Though Remus kept himself out of the way just fine, cheering Logan on as he himself kicked the chairs into splinters.

Logan let the sledgehammer fall to the ground when he was done. His arms ached and he was out of breath, but he hadn’t felt so light in a long, long time. He stumbled back to the door and leaned against it. He would have sat down if the ground wasn’t covered with glass and plastic shards and wooden splinters.

“You good?” Remus asked, breaking a chair leg over his thigh.

“Yes. I think my arms will be sore tomorrow, but I feel great. I think I am done for today, however.”

“Yeah, that tracks. You just experienced a lot at once. How about we grab a drink and talk about it? Letting anger out like this is great, but I feel like I just made you realize a lot of trauma and you can’t really process that without talking about it. Though I’m also okay if you have someone else in mind you’d rather do that with. Just wanted to offer.”

Logan was pretty sure that was the first time he saw Remus flustered. His cheeks were a bit red, and he scratched at his mustache.

“No, a drink with you sounds lovely. I would like to learn more about you, too.”

“Good! Great! Let’s go.”

Logan chuckled lightly, the expression on Remus’ face was precious in his opinion. It seemed like sincerity disarmed him rather quickly.

They returned to the dressing room and put all the equipment back where they took it from. On their way out, Amanda smiled.

“Had fun?”

“Fuck yeah! You should’ve seen him take apart that tv, it was so hot.”

Amanda rolled her eyes fondly and clicked a few things on her computer.

“There’s your total. Thank you for your patronage.”

Remus tapped his card against the reader and winked at her.

“See ya soon!”

“I don’t doubt it!” she called after them as Remus once again held open the door for Logan.

“How regularly do you come here?”

“Couple times a month, usually. Got a membership, so I get a nice discount.”

“And how are they supplied with the items?”

“Well, some are donations from customers, some are from deals they have with other stores like this one.” Remus pointed to the electronics store that Logan noticed on their way in. “They basically accept old electronics and take them apart to see what they can still use and give the rest downstairs. The tv you went ham on probably had some hardware taken out of it prior. And then there’s junkyards that are willing to give them things too.”

“Very interesting. On to another matter, however, what kind of drinks were you imagining? I am driving, so I cannot drink alcohol.” Logan usually came to work by bike, but he hadn’t known for how long Remus’ planned activities would last, so he figured taking the car was the safer option.

“That’s cool. I’m not really into spontaneous drinking either. I was more thinking coffee or sodas or something.”

“I would like a coffee,” Logan agreed. “And I would like to pay for it.”

“Sounds good.”

They walked in comfortable silence to a nearby coffee shop and both selected their drinks. Remus asked if they wanted to sit down but Logan found he now had a lot of nervous energy he wanted to walk off. So instead, they made their way to the nearby park.

“How would you like to talk about it?” Remus eventually asked. “Should I ask questions? Do you wanna talk and I just let you ramble?” He waved his hand around in an ‘et cetera’ motion and Logan smiled, grateful for his thoughtfulness.

“I would like to hear about your thoughts, actually. What were you thinking about when you hit that shelf for example?”

“Well, mostly work stuff. I’m a teacher and some of my colleagues are annoying. Nothing major but it’s been frustrating recently.”

“I am surprised. You don’t strike me as someone who’d want to be a teacher.”

Remus chuckled.

“You’re not the only one. But it’s been on my mind since my school days actually. It’s probably easy to imagine that I had my struggles. I was hella smart, but I had an ‘attitude problem’ according to most of my teachers. Made it hard to enjoy learning when they criticized me for every small thing. Felt like no one was on my side for the most part. So, I decided I wanted to become a teacher and be on the side of kids like me who didn’t fit in easily. And I think that’s working out rather well.”

“That’s wonderful, Remus.”

“Thank you! When I told my parents about it, I think I changed their view of me quite a bit.”

“How so?”

“Well, they always favored Roman over me. Not sure if they were all that aware of it but I sure felt it. They didn’t like the way I dressed all that much or that I started dyeing my hair. They didn’t interfere or anything, but they’d make comments. And they believed the teachers when they accused me of starting fights and talking back for no reason. When I enrolled in college for my teaching degree was the point where they realized that I was serious about the whole thing, I think. They’ve been a lot kinder to me since.”

“What about your brother?” Logan asked. He was very curious how similar the brothers were to each other.

“We didn’t share a lot of classes in high school, so he couldn’t really say one way or the other. He was there for me when it mattered but he also had a lot of friends and after-school activities, so he was out a lot. We went to the same college though. It was a lot of fun. He lives a few hours away now and I kinda miss him. Not that I would ever tell him that.”

“I see…”

“You good?” Remus asked quietly. They passed an empty bench and Remus gestured at it as if to ask if they wanted to sit down. Logan nodded and let himself sink onto the wood. The sun danced through the leaves of a nearby tree, and he took a deep breath.

“Yes. I was just wondering what it would have been like if I had a sibling. My parents told me when I asked if I would get one, that they only needed me to inherit their assets. Another child would just complicate things.”

“That sounds harsh.” Remus had sprawled out on the bench, his arms slung over the backrest and his back melted against the wood. In contrast, Logan maintained his upright posture, just how his mother had taught him.

“Maybe. I already knew that I was born for a purpose, so I wasn’t all that surprised. When my grandfather heard about it though, he was furious.”

“He sounds like he was a cool guy.”

“He was more open than my parents, but he still wasn’t that different. He had raised my father after all. Until he retired, I rarely met him. It was afterwards when he had time that he started to care. He agreed with my parents that knowledge was the most important thing and made sure that I had the best education I could have but he also said that all that knowledge was worthless if it wasn’t used to lead the life I wanted to live. That’s why he got my parents to let him take care of me. He wanted me to make my own choices, that’s all. If I wanted to read a novel instead of a philosophy book, then that was fine by him. But emotional expression wasn’t something he excelled at either. None of them had much appreciation for the arts either.”

“Ouch. Artistic expression was a big thing in my family. Ro does theater and writing. I do more drawing and sculpting. Mom’s a dancer and dad can play so many instruments, it’s crazy. But yeah, no wonder you had so much repressed anger. That sounds like one bleak childhood.”

“It wasn’t all bad. Like I said, I enjoyed playing the piano. And sometimes my mother would do a jigsaw puzzle with me. It wasn’t much but she’d smile at me when we’d finish one. Father and I read together. They got me a DS and the Professor Layton games when I explained to them that it included a lot of puzzles. They praised and rewarded me when I got good grades. Grandfather even got my father to agree to foregoing his inheritance so that I could have it all. I can be a librarian and not worry about expenses. I know they cared for me in some ways.”

Silence hung between them for a moment and Logan watched the steam rise from his coffee cup. He took a sip, and it tasted just right.

“I’m glad you can do what you want now. But you went through a lot to get here and I’m proud of you for making it. You’ve worked hard.”

The sincerity in Remus’ words brought tears to Logan’s eyes.

“Thank you. I’m proud of you, too. You looked at your hardships and decided to make sure the same thing wouldn’t happen to other children. That’s wonderful.”

“Thanks, Lolo. That means a lot.”

They smiled at each other and the world seemed just a little bit brighter.

[effable-as-f]

Bro I just realized that Thomas (at least. In a way) incorporated one of Remus’ ideas

[darksides-dutchess]

The things I'd give for the any sides to be placed in a room with two chairs and a table and just talk. I don't care what the topic is about I just want them to talk.

Having a heart to heart, random rambles about something, bickering and arguing on a topic, I don't care, let them have a conversation.

[noblest-roman-of-them-all]

Body Horror and Nightmare

In the aftermath of Revenge, Remus has a nightmare that forces him to confront his own trauma and fears.

Remus rolled down the corridor, eager to greet the returning crew, and Janus most of all.

"Hey!" He greeted cheerfully. "How'd-" The words died in his throat, a somber air hung heavily about. He glanced at each grief stricken face and his heart began to pound. "Where's Janus."

"Re-"

"Where is he?" Remus snapped cutting off his twin.

"I'm sorry," Thomas croaked, clearly fighting back tears.

"Sorry?" Remus shook his head, refusing to acknowledge the implication. "What you- Where is he?" He demanded.

Thomas reached out and dropped a ring in Remus’s palm.

"No."

"We tried-"

"No!"

"We couldn't-"

"No! What is this? Some kind of a sick prank? Where is he? Janus!" He tried pushing past Thomas, but he grabbed his wheelchair.

"He's gone," Thomas said, tears rolling down his cheeks. "I'm sorry."

"He's not!" Remus objected thickly. "He can't be."

"Remus-"

"Don't touch me!" He snapped and Roman jumped back. "Tell me where he is!"

"He's dead," Logan said flatly, his eyes hollow and sad. "We buried him so he couldnt be turned."

Remus shook his head. "No."

"He's dead, Remus."

He broke then, dropping his head into his hands and wailing loudly. He ripped at his hair and beat his head, the emotion of it all too much physically bear. He screamed and sobbed, sure his chest was going to explode.

Someone was stroking his arm, trying to soothe him, telling it was okay, that he was safe, but none of that mattered.

None of it mattered without Janus.

"I'm right here, darling," a voice whispered.

Remus froze, gasping for air, looking around at the sad and confused faces that watched him breakdown.

"Wake up, sweetheart."

Remus snapped awake, bolting up right, and felt a clammy hand rest agains his arm. "It's okay," Janus soothed and stroked his arm. "It's okay, I'm right here."

Remus let out a breath and pushed his hair back. He turned to kiss his beloved, to hold him close, and be able to feel his breath and heartbeat against him to know he was truly alive.

He was met with Janus’s decomposing visage.

Remus screamed and threw himself out of the bed, hitting the floor hard, he scrambled away as quickly as he could, as the mosnter that once was Janus rushed toward him, joints moving incorrectly, cracking loudly, skin slipping from his body as he moved.

"Are you okay?" He asked in faux concern that might have been convincing if Remus couldn't see the feral hunger in his once beautiful eyes and the eager twitching in his mouth.

Remus screamed for help as he struggled to get himself up onto his foot, trying to using the wall to keep himself balanced.

"I'm right here, darling," No Longer Janus replied, his voice sickly sweet and his breath rancid. "I've got you now." His fingers dug into Remus's arm with surprising strength, the bones of one tearing right through Janus’s finger and puncturing Remus's arm as he jerked him off the floor. Janus wrapped an arm around him to keep him upright as he had done when he was alive.

"Let's lie back down."

Remus struggled, but couldn't keep his ground without his crutches or prosthetic as he was dragged away from the door and his only means of escape.

Janus pushed into the bed and, before Remus could recover, pinned his arms over his head. Remus writhed as Not Janus pressed his face into his neck, nipping and kissing him across his neck, skin tearing from Janus's face from the friction.

Remus arched his back, sobbing and trying weakly to get away, begging and pleading for Janus to stop, to let him go.

"Let you go?" Janus murmured in his ear, his rotting face nearly flush against Remus’s. "No, my love, I'm just getting started with you." He pressed his whole body onto Remus’s, moaning in pleasure as he thrust his hips forward against Remus, and he screamed in the hopelessness of it all. It was happening again and he was just as helpless as he was before. Just as weak.

Remus gave up then. Laying there, frozen in terrified resignation, sobbing as his once partner continued rubbing against his body and kissing his face and neck, murmuring foul smelling "I love you"s against his face. Wetness smeared across his cheek, but if it was blood or salavia, Remus wasn't sure, nor did he want to know.

"It's just a dream, honey."

"What?" Remus asked, his voice quiet and timid, as he finally dared to look up his love.

Janus stared down at him, his nose missing, torn from his face in his rampage against Remus and flesh barely hanging on the muscle and bone bellow, with a soft expression. "It's just a dream," he whispered.

Remus jolted awake with a terrified gasp, ripping his arm away from whomever was in the dark and fell from the bed as he scrambled for a light.

A lantern flared to life and Remus shrieked, scrambling to get away from the figure that rushed at him.

Janus froze. "Remus?"

Remus snapped to the voice and flopped onto his back with a releaved sob to see Janus, his Janus, alive and worried, holding the light.

Janus rushed forward, but hesitated to touch Remus. "It's okay," he tried to soothe. "You're safe, honey."

They both jumped when the door burst in. Roman ran to his twin and scooped Remus off the floor.

"What happened?" Emile asked.

Janus shook his head. "He was having a nightmare and fell out bed when he woke up and panicked. It was like he was scared of me. He screamed when I went to help him up."

Emile rubbed Janus’s back. "I think he was just scared and disoriented," he tried to encourage as Janus wiped his cheeks. "I don't think he was actually afraid of you."

Remus slowly calmed as Roman rocked him side to side.

"Are you okay?" Roman finally asked and Remus nodded into the crook of his neck. Roman released some of the grip he had on him and Remus sat back and reached for Janus, who eagerly met him in a hug.

"I love you," Remus mumbled, breathing in the familiar scent of his alive Janus.

"I'm so sorry I scared you," Janus answered.

"It wasnt real. It was just a bad dream," Remus muttered. "Just a dream."

Janus nodded. "Thats all. Just a dream."

"I don't wanna go back to sleep."

"You don't have to, darling. I can stay up with you. We don't have to sleep. I'll do whatever you need."

"Just hold me. Just dont let me go."

---

Remus laid with his head in the middle of Janus’s chest, gratefully listening to the rythmic thrum of his heart, and taking slow breathes that matched his beloved's.

He blinked slowly as Janus massaged his head. "I love you," he murmured.

"I love you too. Do you want to talk about it at all?"

Remus let out a shaky breath. "You died," he croaked. "You died and I wasn't even there. They told me when they came back from scouting. Said they'd buried you to keep you from turning. I just...lost it. Had a complete meltdown, then I heard you telling me that you were there, that we both safe and I woke up. Or. Thought I woke up. I woke up in bed and when I turned to look at you so I could know, so I could see you, you'd been turned. I screamed and tried to get out, but I fell, and I didn't have my crutches or my chair or anything, so it was easy for it to get ahold of me. It threw me on the bed and started kissing me, felt like it was licking my neck. I tried pulling arms free, but froze up when it started grinding on me. It was the same thing Liam did to me and I just...gave up. I tried asking it to stop a few times. He'd just moan louder and push harder against me. I just laid there and cried till I heard you tell me it was all a dream and...you were there for the rest of it."

Janus gaped for a moment and shook his head. "That's horrifying!" He cried softly. "God, no wonder you tried to run from me when you woke up! Honey,-"

"It's okay," Remus cut in. He swallowed and took a deep breath. "I know you wouldn't really hurt me."

Janus sighed and stroked his hair. "I wouldn't be offended if you did need some time."

Remus shook his head and hugged Janus tightly. "Honestly, I was more scared of you being dead. Yeah, the other thing was scary because it actually happened to me. But that's kinda how trauma dreams are, y'know? I know you'd never really do that to me. Hell, you wouldn't even let me do that to myself. You've told me to stop when you could tell I was uncomfortable. I know you're not gonna actually do anything to me. But you can die on me. And that scares me a lot more."

Janus sighed, his heart aching for his love. "I love you." It was all he knew to say. It wasn't enough, it wasn't everything he wanted to express, but it was hard to find the right words. Hard to express concern for his beloved without revealing his own feelings of guilt and perhaps even hurt over the nightmare.

He was overwhelmingly grateful and oddly touched that despite the traumatic nature of the dream Remus still trusted him enough to want to sleep near him, that he wasn't afraid of Janus despite how easy it might be for him to overpower him and do any number of horrible things to him.

He also felt sick at being forced to realize what Remus had been through. It hadn't been a secret per se, he'd known Remus had been through some abuse, had been jumpy about touch at one point, he'd even had a panic attack once when they were making out at the start of their relationship.

But he'd never known Remus to just...give up. And the idea that he had been through something that would cause enough terror to simply...give up made his stomach churn.

And worst of all, it seemed to bother him the least of all the things. Like he didn't realize, didn't see it for all it was.

"I'm okay, Jan," Remus said softly, as if he had known what was racing through his mind. "I know I'm safe with you."

"You should have been safe before," Janus answered.

"Yeah, that would've been nice. But I'm safe now. That's a lot more important to me at the moment."

[will-pilled]

I just want to see what Tumblr says about this

[shmuzzieheart]

Rewatching “The MIND vs. The HEART” feels so weird now that we have “Selfishness v. Selflessness.” The scenario of Thomas being asked to help someone move even though he’s got previous commitments that day mirrors the wedding vs. callback situation and really drives home how Janus’ (and the other Dark Sides’) perceived scariness/evilness negatively impacts their ability to get through to Thomas. Logan wasn’t labeled as morally wrong for wanting Thomas not to help, and Thomas even told Patton in that video that sometimes he needs to prioritize himself over other people. 

[myapathyhaspeaked]

do y’all think the sides would have a powerpoint night? actually i’ve already decided that they probably would, now i’m just curious what they’d make powerpoints on

[boygirlctommy]

THANK YIO one more question. Which may also be dumb. Is there like. An official playlist anywhere that i can watch. Sniles

YES here she is:

(and if you make it through that, theres also this asides ep thats the most recent one, its actually pretty good and famously NOT an advertisement, so id recommend watching it when youre caught up :] !!)

[moss-sprout]

My school theatre is putting on the Mean Girls play and because I'm a part of it, I've been thinking about it a lot, so here's the sides as the cast of Mean Girls!!:

Regina - Janus (Why?: cunning, deceitful, manipulative, stylish, gossipy)

Gretchen - Roman (Why?: wants to be seen but isn't cared about as much, very envious, does everything to impress Regina, loves to gossip)

Karen - Remus (Why?: doesn't know/care whats happening, dumb as a rock, reckless and toxic none the less)

Katy - Patton (Why?: naive, always thinks their the "good guy", their ignorance ends up hurting others)

Janice - Virgil (Why?: outcast, emo-style, vengeful)

Damien - Remy **listen I know he's not a side just hear me out** (Why?: attitude, sarcasm, knows so much gossip about everyone)

Mrs. Norbury - Logan (Why?: teacher, problem solver, doesn't give up easily on the others, probably wants to hit one of the others with a brick)

[halfhissandwich]

So do you think it’s interesting how Virgil is absent from the scenes that c!Thomas is at his angriest? Every single side has been present to witness angy Thomas (Patton and Roman for all of POF, Janus disguised as Logan in POF, Logan and Remus when “stop ignoring me”) but Virgil (notably a side who encompasses a completely different negative feeling) has been gone from all of it. I know it’s probably a coincidence, it gets my theorist brain going about the possibilities for the Virgil/Orange relationship. In my own experience with anxiety, it tends to take a backseat when I’m angry, and for Virgil to be coincidentally gone from what may be the angriest c!Thomas moments of the whole series, it makes me wonder if it’s the same kinda thing for c!Thomas, and what that would mean for Virgil and Orange as characters.

[amazable01]

Back on the Sanders Sides grind, and something that the fandom for forgets (but I hope the finale covers) is how much intense pressure the original 3 sides are under.

Like, Patton talks about it a little in POF, but it bears repeating that Logan, Patton, and Roman in particular have massive jobs compared to the others. The best way to chart it out is like this:

Remus has creativity/ideas that are outside the bounds of what is 'acceptable' to share.

Janus has deceit, the social/mental aspects of self-preservation, hiding things, and Thomas' wishes.

Virgil has anxiety, the physical symptoms of excitement and fear, excitement, being the figurative and literal 'alarm system', and self-preservation impulses.

Compared to that:

Roman watches over all creativity/ideas that are within the bounds of sharing and making sure the ideas are executed in manner that feels satisfying, all things relating to romance and romantic feelings, ego, Thomas' left hand, and all impulses relating to romance, ego, creative endeavors, passion, and burnout.

Patton watches over all of morality and determining what should and should not be considered 'acceptable' for specific audiences, emotions and emotional responses, non-romantic love and certain elements of romantic love when it mixes with platonic love, the inner child, memories when they are connected to emotional triggers, and any impulses not already taken by the others.

Logan watches over all logical functions that keep everything stable and running, all knowledge and memory that is not connected to an emotional trigger, keeping a schedule and keeping on that schedule, the truth, Thomas' physical body, Thomas' right hand, and most (but not all) nerdy interests.

While this is a bit of an exaggeration (the others do have certain jobs that are more detailed than stated here, the amount they take on shifts as more sides are introduced, and we're not sure exactly the extent of each side's jobs), it still shows just how much pressure is on the original three. And I hope that is discussed, because something's bound to break if it's not talked about soon...

[naminethewriter]

Monstrously Simple Days at College

Chapter Six: Entirely Scientific Interest

Masterpost | First | Previous | Ao3

Story Summary: Humans and Monsters live together in harmony and that means they all get to go to college together. Roman, Remus, Janus, Virgil, Logan and Patton are big group of friends that may be a bit chaotic with all the different monster cultures they hail from. College itself is hard too, but with them all supporting each other, it can’t be that bad, can it?

Content Warnings: Remus starts a discussion about genitalia, comparing the differences between their monster species, it slips in some innuendos but there is no sexual content

~~*~~

Cultural Exchange is a course every single student at the college is required to take. Be they human or monster, there are no exceptions. The goal of the course is as it says in the name: to learn about the cultures of different people. The humans may only be one species, but they are so widespread that their cultures differ greatly even over relatively small distances, while there are many different species of monsters that do have some cultural differences even within their specific species but not as much variety as humans as a whole. So, there is a lot for both sides to learn.

With as many students as there are, there are several classes going on at once and thankfully for them, Roman, Remus, Logan, Janus, Virgil and Patton were all assigned to the same one. There is one big group project that everyone has to complete and that is to research one culture not represented in the group decided by drawing lots.

They got assigned sirens this time and everyone was happy with that selection. Merfolk in general tend to keep to themselves, but sirens even more so. Unlike what the legends usually say, they use their singing as a defense mechanism. With the continued intermingling of species however, an effort has been made to learn more about merfolk and in turn sirens, so there is some research for the group to fall back on.

Especially Logan and Janus are eager to learn, with the former being simply fascinated by any new knowledge and the latter because his entire nature directs him to gather as much information as possible.

Right now, Roman, Virgil, Janus, Logan and Remus are waiting for Patton in the room they have booked to plan their project. Patton has texted them his apologies for running late but offered to bring them coffee, so they had texted him their orders.

Roman and Virgil are passing the time on their phones, while Janus stares boredly off into space. Logan however is trying to get their partner to stop drawing crude pictures on the whiteboard.

“Remus, this is an inappropriate place for you to draw penises,” he sighs.

“Why’s that?” Remus asks, a smirk on its lips saying they know full well why.

“This is a classroom, meus, not your sketchbook.”

“Why does that matter?! Penises have their place in a classroom.”

Logan raises one of their eyebrows. “How so?”

“Simple anatomy, of course! And they’re different for all of us!” She begins a new drawing next to the penis he already drew. “Look, human cocks have different heads than us dragons! We’re more spear-like and they’re harder, too. Plus there’s some scales along ours.”

“Fascinating,” Logan murmurs as they closely study Remus’ drawings, apparently now fully convinced of their scientific merit.

“Aaaand, ours don’t just hang lose like we’re just begging for them to get damaged. We have sheaths.”

“I was aware of that. In fact, most monster species have them. It’s an interesting similarity between such a variety of biologies.”

“Witches are the same as humans, right?”

“Remus, do you have to ask your partner about their genitals when I’m in the same room?” Roman complains, gagging over her phone.

“It’s simple anatomy, my dear,” Janus chimes in, grinning like Cheshire cat. “Their interest is purely scientific. Weren’t you listening?” Roman gives him a blank look but doesn’t feel like commenting further, so instead she taps on Virgil’s shoulder to show them a meme she just found. Virgil looks over and pulls out on of their earbuds to talk to her about it, the two of them dissolving into their own little world.

Logan ignores their interruption and keeps their attention on Remus. “Indeed. Physically we are the same as humans, but we differ in our spiritual makeup. Though I could alter my form however I please with the right spells.”

“Oh, kinda like Janny then, right? Since you can just shapeshift at will?” Remus turns directly to Janus for that second part who’s studying his nails with disinterest now that the subject of his teasing is preoccupied.

“In a way. My form right now is not my default, and I can have pretty much any parts I want.”

“Truly fascinating,” Logan says as they lean closer, watchful eyes studying Janus’ form. “I was aware of this being a chosen form but not to what extent.”

“Well, it’s not like I can do whatever I want,” Janus clarifies, fully turning towards them. “I can’t change my hair color or grow my limbs longer. But since we sphynxes don’t really have a sex as most others, I’m not as restricted there.”

“But most sphynxes are perceived to be women, right?” Logan wonders, tilting his head as he tries to recall whatever information he has read about them so far.

“Most of my kind would choose ‘woman’ as the label for them before ‘man’, yes. But few actually care. I am pretty much an outlier there.”

“You’re so lucky you don’t have to worry about STDs and pregnancy shit,” Remus sighs. “Interspecies protection is such a hassle to keep track of.”

“What do you mean, he doesn’t have to worry about such things?” Logan asks, their brow furrowed.

“Well, you know how we don’t really know how sphynxes reproduce, right? They keep it this big secret for only them to know.” Remus waits for Logan to nod before continuing its explanation. “Since they do it in that mysterious way we don’t know about, they are completely incompatible with our reproduction systems, so they can’t get pregnant, can’t get anyone else pregnant and don’t even contract the diseases that correlate to genitals.”

“My form is simply an imitation on the most basic level,” Janus adds, grinning at Logan’s stumped expression. “On a genetic level, I am completely different from you. We don’t have the same cells at all. So I can’t get sick with most of the common diseases or really transfer them either.”

“I will need to have an in-depth discussion with you on this subject sometime,” Logan insists, their eyes practically glowing with curiosity.

“Earn it,” Janus says simply. They are all used to the sphynx’s challenges, so Logan’s face simply morphs from curious to determined and he nods.

“I will.”

Remus meanwhile grew bored of their conversation and hones in on his brother’s other partner.

“Hey, Virgy! What about yours?”

“What about my what?” Virgil asks, not having paid much attention since they were focused on Roman.

“Your penis!” Remus calls delighted, hoping to get a fun reaction. Behind Virgil, Roman pulls a face but doesn’t try to interject again.

Virgil pauses for a moment, staring at Remus who simply stares back.

“Why do you think I have one?”

They actually manage to dumbfound Remus with that one as it takes it a second to respond.

“You don’t?”

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t. How would you know, you’ve never seen me naked.”

“You offering?” Remus grins, having recovered quickly but Virgil simply shows them the finger. “Boo, you’re no fun.”

“Stop trying to get at my partners’ private parts, Remus!” Roman groans. “Can we change the topic, please?”

“Just don’t engage, darling, you’re only going to rile her up more,” Janus purrs, hopping off of the table he’s been lounging on. He walks over to his partners and leans closer to Roman, grinning. “Instead, let’s talk about when you’re going to taste my dust again.”

Roman slips her phone back into her pocket to fully focus on her boyfriend immediately.

“Oh, please, you won last time only because I wasn’t feeling well then.”

“Keep telling yourself that, dear. Maybe you’ll believe it eventually,” Janus teases, his wings shuddering behind him in anticipation of another flying race already. Roman’s wings similarly shift behind her, though she is careful with the left practically leaning on Virgil, who looks at them, annoyed.

“Not this again,” they groan. “Just leave me out of it, please.”

“But we need a referee, sweetheart!” Janus pouts dramatically and not at all sincerely. “You can’t just leave us hanging!”

“Oh please,” Virgil scoffs, pushing Janus away from them when he tries to lean closer to them with his puppy eyes. Janus is rooming with Patton, he’s learned a lot about looking like a kicked puppy, but Virgil wouldn’t be swayed. “You don’t listen to me anyway and 9 out of 10 times you need photographic evidence to see who won. I am utterly unnecessary.”

“How dare!” Roman gasps, taking Virgil’s phone out of their hand to grab it instead and hold it close. “How could my wonderful knight ever think they’re unnecessary! You are most integral, no matter what! Even if your presence is simple moral support, you’re doing your part!”

Virgil’s face turns slightly purple and they pull their hand back, mumbling something incoherent under their breath. They look over to Remus and Logan, hoping they weren’t paying attention and thankfully they weren’t as they were now discussing what looked like a drawing of an anatomically correct heart.

“You could also just join the race. Maybe your speed has increased since the last time,” Janus teases and Virgil’s head snaps back to him, the purple tint on their cheeks becoming stronger.

“Oh, shut up,” they grumble.

“Stop teasing them, Janus,” Roman chides lightly, but her grin shows that she’s enjoying teasing their partner just as much. “Their bat form is just not made for racing.”

“It would definitely win an adorableness contest though.”

“Oh, for sure.”

“Shut up, both of you!” Virgil whines, hiding in the collar of their cloak.

“Uhhhh, what are we teasing the emo about?” Remus asks as it bounds over, grinning delightedly.

“Remus,” Logan sighs but doesn’t otherwise interfere.

“You don’t get to tease, that’s partner privilege,” Roman says, sticking her tongue out at her brother who returns the gesture.

“We were talking about racing actually, Remus. Want to join sometime?” Janus offers and Remus’ eyes brighten immediately.

“Fuck yeah!”

“Nooo, you’re just going to cheat!”

“Am not!”

“So are!”

“I guess we do need you to referee after all, darling,” Janus purrs at Virgil with a sly smile as the twins continue to bicker and Logan tries fruitlessly to get them to stop.

Thankfully for them, that’s when the door opens and Patton finally tumbles in.

“Sorry, kiddos!” he huffs, placing the palette of coffee orders on a table. “The coffee shop was super full and the barista looked on the verge of tears so I offered to help her out for a few minutes until the line was under control. But I got a nice discount on the drinks and a bagel as a thank you!”

“Thank you for buying us coffee, Patton,” Logan says as he grabs the cup marked for him, as well as Remus’. The others also say their thanks as the drinks get distributed and they all enjoy a few sips.

“Oh yeah, Pat! I have a question!” Remus announces suddenly.

“Sure, kiddo, shoot!”

“Is your dick furry?”

“Oh, for the love of gold, Remus! Shut up!”

[andtheyreonfire]

insane (predicable) to me that you could literally have the most sanitized radio cut version of intrusive thoughts represented into a character and people would still be immensely bothered by it. that you could give the insanely clear cut "your thoughts are not a precursor to your actions, avoiding them doesn't help anything, go to bed" and in some spaces just straight-up mentioning the representative character wasn't allowed. bc yeah a lot of intrusive thoughts wouldn't pass youtube community guidelines. when, for the sake of debate, someone watered them down to the same energy as poop jokes and a "family feud insane moments" video, some bitches STILL took issue with that shit and made it everyone's problem. and everyone around them fully endorsed it, used the designated trigger tag while simultaneously putting their fanart in the actual "intrusive thoughts" tag. and they STILL claimed that they supported mental health and its discussion likeeeeeee