#sand needs to get over his ego about top for real. I like when he’s a hater but these levels of haterism are unconscionable | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

feliix · 4 years ago

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Perfect Score ↠ Han Jisung

↠ Jisung x Reader (feat. Felix)

↠ Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut, Fake Dating!AU, Childhood Friends to Lovers

↠ Rating: M (18+)

↠ Word Count: 14.9k

↠ Summary: As you return home to work at your local coffee shop, you’re swarmed with couples coming in on lovey-dovey on dates. You’ve always hated the idea of love, but it’s Jisung’s mission to make you change your mind in just two weeks time.

↠ Warnings: idiots 2 lovers, mutual pining, unprotected sex, fingering, soft sex, language, light mentions of marking, mentions of bad past relationships

“That's disgusting.”

You grimace in the most subtle way as you watch the man across the shop press a gentle kiss on the cheek of the woman next to him. For some reason your shop is packed with couples this evening. Not that you’ve been counting, but they’re probably the 50th overly lovey-dovey pair that you’ve seen this just this shift alone.

To say ‘love’ isn’t really your thing isn’t too far from the truth. Every time you’ve been burned by someone in the past has only made your hope about love deteriorate. Relationships suck. Already been there, done that, and you don’t plan on doing it again.

You’ve always stuck by the same theory; relationships either lead to heartbreak or marriage. And even still, marriage may still end in heartbreak, so what’s the point?

“Stop being so dramatic,” Jisung laughs, pulling you out of your thoughts as he rounds the corner. He’s just in time to catch your snide remark, surely it won’t be the last one you’ll make tonight though. He had just run to the back to get you a fresh package of cups after using up all the stock in the front.

Tonight is busy to say the least. The sun has already set, and it’s the afternoon rush when everyone comes in for their second daily dose of caffeine. And it’s definitely necessary – especially on a day as hot and exhausting as this one. It’s the third day that its been over 100º in a row and the humidity is doing a real number to your hair.

“It’s not dramatic,” you sigh, leaning on the counter behind you as Jisung maneuvers around you, placing the cups on the shelf underneath. In your mind it absolutely isnt. Its a mystery why all these people need to publicly display their affection in a coffee shop anyway...

It’s just the two of you on the schedule tonight. Your boss has always been kind of an asshole, just leaving 2 kids in their early twenties to run the shop by themselves while he went off to do god knows what. There's always been an aching suspicion that he just goes to the bar across the street, since his car is still parked behind the shop but he’s always nowhere to be found. That’s okay though, it's better than him looming over your shoulder and criticizing your technique the whole shift.

“Yeah, whatever you say,” Jisung shakes his head.

In stark contrast to yourself, Han Jisung is quite the hopeless romantic. So much so that he tends to search for love in all the wrong places. Maybe a better way to describe it is that Jisung has a series of flings. He’s not shy to test the waters of any girl he comes across – and there are many, many waters that he’s tested. Lucky you gets to hear all about each one, being his friend and all.

But to your good friend’s demise, his ‘relationships’ never end up working out for very long. Theres always some kind of fatal flaw that’s a means to an end. Whether it was Jisung’s fault or the girls, it’s always confused you why he could never hold onto something longer than a couple months. Jisung is a great guy, it didn’t make sense.

So great that you have been best friends with him for as long as you could remember. It all started that time in pre-k, where you poured a shovel of sand on his head in the sandbox. Initially, it did make him cry, but he got over it eventually. Ever since, he’s been right by your side, sandy hair and all.

“How much longer,” your eyes roll back in your head, neglecting to look at the watch on your wrist in fear that your shift has a significant amount of time left. The night has been dragging on since you stepped foot in the door and heard the little jingle as it opened. You wouldn’t be surprised if you’d only made it through half your shift thus far.

“Just under an hour. Want to start the closing checklist so we can get outta here?” Jisung offers, reaching for the rag and sanitation bucket at the end of the counter.

Nodding your head, you follow his plan – beginning your mission to clean like a speed demon so you can leave no later than at 8 o’clock on the dot.

Luckily, closing tonight goes as smoothly as it possibly can. You and Jisung are ready to get out of there at 8 on the dot, thanks to your determination to mop like a mad woman and stock the front as fast as humanly possible.

The air outside feels crisper than usual. Maybe its because you’ve been locked up in a small room that smells like coffee beans for 10 hours, but you’ll never get enough of the night air.

“So what are we doing tonight?”Jisung asks, his fingers adjusting the headband that sits just above his forehead.

“I was planning on going home and getting some rest…” you trail off, avoiding eye contact with him. Jisung always goes out after your weekend shifts and never lets up on convincing you to tag along. So you can’t look at him, his eyes are much too convincing make contact with, and you are beyond exhausted from working a double today.

“Gah you’re so boring,” he teases, stopping in his tracks in the center of the parking lot to ruffle the hair on top of your head, “it was an early night we should do something.”

With a deep sigh, you stop as well, smoothing down your hair as a pout forms on your lips. The suggestive smirk settling across Jisung’s face is telling; he knows he’s about to get his way before you have the chance to turn him down or fish for another excuse. So you tilt your head, subtly rolling your eyes as you wait for him to explain what his big plans for tonight are.

“I’ll be at your house by 9.”

Accepting defeat, you shoot him a thumbs up before turning to get into your car. Asking any more questions would take away any time you had to wash up – and smelling like coffee beans any longer is going to drive you up a wall since it hasn't already.

It doesn’t take much time for you to rush home and get ready, and before you know it Jisung is there to pick you up. Only a few minutes late, but that’s just par for the course and right on time in Jisung terms.

The car ride to your destination feels like a blur with how exhausted you are. So when you end up at your favorite boba spot, you immediately perk up. Those tapioca pearls always manage to give you a second wind.

But when Jisung decides to take a seat at one of the round tables just outside the shop instead of getting back in the car you know somethings up. You were expecting to hop back in the passenger seat of his car, maybe listen to some music for a while and drive around to kill time.

Initially he doesn’t say much. His legs just bounce hyperactively while he fidgits with the straw of his drink. It’s almost like he’s waiting for you to speak up; his eyes staring down at the cup in front of him instead of sipping from it, lip caught between his teeth.

The energy is off. Not only did you expect to hang out and do something adventurous like Jisung normally would, but now you’re watching his cheeks grow red while avoiding conversation.

Awkward silence becoming too much to bear, you take matters into your own hands. “So how are things going with that girl?”

“Oh yeah,” he sighs, his fingertips drumming along the surface of the table, “she didn’t really work out.”

Unsurprised by his response, you just nod along. Its always to expect since he’s the pickiest person you’ve ever met. His last relationship ended because he thought the girl breathed too loudly. The girl before that had an annoying laugh, and then the one before that didn’t like cheesecake. There always seems to be a laundry list of deal-breakers tied along to each one of Jisung’s relationships, and that is something you’ll always expect.

“You’re probably better off.”

You don’t think much of the words before they leave your lips. Relationships are a ton of work, and you’ve never understood the point of to putting all your effort into something like that. There is a way to just be happy on your own, you know.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” his eyebrows furrowing in response, hands gripping his thighs in anticipation

“You know what I think,” you tilt your heat matter-of-factly, “relationships are kind of just a waste of time.”

“What is with you and all this ‘anti-love’ stuff anyway, Y/N?”

Now thats a response that you are not prepared for. The question catches you off guard, a boba bubble almost catching in your throat leaving you a coughing mess. Jisung chuckles at your discomfort, waiting patiently for you to get it all out and just answer his question, as uncomfortable as it is.

“I’ve wasted too much time with too many dead-beat guys to even think about love,” you sigh again, your coughing fit subsiding as you reach for your cup once again.

“Not every guy is a dead-beat.”

His words carry a harsh bite to them, almost as if he finds you’ve said offensive. It burns his ego a bit, assuming that you’re grouping him in with all the guys you’ve been with in the past. Which is strange, Jisung should know that he’s different. For one, you’ve never dated him before and two, if he was such a dead-beat you wouldn’t have kept him around for so long.

You aren’t able to talk to guys, or most people for that matter, in the same way that you talk to Jisung. He’s the one you rant about all the assholes to. He knows all the shit that you don’t tell anyone else, he’s like your own personal human diary. Secrets are always safe with him, it's not like he has anyone who would listen to the gossip even if he wanted to tell.

After a minute of silence his expression changes, Jisung’s eyes squinting at you in that ‘I have a crazy idea’ type of way. It’s a look that you haven’t seen very often, and you can’t say that you’ll ever get used to it.

“Okay then I’ll make you a deal,” he proposes, a glimmering look in his eye that made you somewhat nervous. You never know what you are getting with Jisung, but most of the time his ‘deals’ are on the crazier side.

“What is it?” You still ask although you’re a bit nervous to hear his answer. If his plan is to set you up with one of his delinquent friends or something–

“Be my girlfriend.”

Your eyes widen as the words fall from his tongue, confusion taking over your expression as a small chuckle slips past his lips. Instinctively your stomach tightens, the air around you now feeling a bit heaver each second time ticks on. He can't be serious…

“Your what?”

“Two weeks is all I’m asking for. Be my girlfriend for just two weeks, and I’ll show you that love isn’t as shitty as you think it is.”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me” you shake your head, a disbelieving smile stretching wide across your face.

“C’mon Y/N,” he challenges, “it’s two weeks of your life, what else do you have to do? I think it could be fun.”

The quirk of his eyebrow and quick squint of his eyes grabs your attention. He’s serious about this, scarily serious, and you aren’t quite sure how to react to that.

“What’s in it for you?” Your chin falls into your palm as you stare at him, waiting for his response.

“Well for one,” he starts, a sigh leaving his lips, “if it works then I won’t have to listen to you complain about how much relationships suck anymore.”

Just when you don't think you can roll your eyes any further into the back of your head, your own actions surprise you. If looks could kill, the one you’re giving him right now would surely take him out. He doesn’t pay much mind to it though, he’s used to your sass and just shrugs it off.

“This is an awful idea,” you glare at him as if it will change his mind. You’re certain this experiment of his would not change your own. Love sucked, and that was that.

“Two weeks,” his voice carries a taunting tone, his eyebrows wiggling to entice you into his plan. He isn’t going to give up on this easily, you know Jisung. And Jisung always gets his way.

“Fine,” you huff, “two weeks and that’s it. And if my mind isn’t changed you owe me 3 more of these,” you say, picking up your boba from the table and shaking it at eye-level for emphasis.

His bottom lip catches between his teeth, satisfied with your response. He isn’t exactly sure how he’ll manage to pull this off, but he’s definitely up for the challenge.

“We start tomorrow at 8, I’ll pick you up after work.”

Crossing your arms over the table, you bury your head in your arms. This is going to be the most interesting two weeks of your entire life.

“Wait, you're like dating dating the Han Jisung?” Felix’s jaw drops, excitement prevalent on his face as you spill about your night with Jisung.

Felix is the only person in your life that understood your hatred for relationships, other than Jisung of course. Not that he shares the hatred himself, he’s just heard enough about how much you despise being in one to know just how you felt. He’s only heard about it every day for the past several summers.

Felix is your best friend, other than Jisung of course. He’s also the only person in this world that you could bear to work with on a Saturday morning.

“That's the plan,” you sigh fiddling with the containers on the counter. It’s pretty slow for a Saturday morning, only a handful of customers have come in so far and it's already 11 am.

That’s the thing about working at a coffee shop – and it sucks when it's busy, and it sucks even more when it's slow. At least it isn't a terrible job, you at least have Jisung and Felix to keep you company and that's always worthwhile.

“And for the record,” you turn to look at Felix, a grin still evident on his face, “I don’t think this is gonna change my mind about the love stuff.”

“You know how Jisung is,” his eyebrow lifts, “so you never know. Maybe something could happen.”

If anyone was surprised that you were dating someone, fake relationship or not, it would be Felix. On top of that, you’re dating Han Jisung. As in, the same Jisung that ended a 3-month relationship last year because the girl ‘smelled too much like peaches’ and it was ‘too good to be true.’ And now that you’re the one stuck with him for the next 14 days, it is only a matter of time until he finds the deal-breaking trait that turns him away from you.

“Okay no, that's exactly why this is only two weeks. If I know Jisung, he’ll be over it before the 2 weeks even ends.”

“Whatever you say,” the pitch of his voice is raised teasingly. You can tell he doesn’t believe this will be just a ‘two-week thing’ by the funny little look on his face. You hate that look, and you hate how Felix always seems to be right.

Subsequently Felix sees a lot of things that you aren’t able to see for yourself. You’ve grown up with Jisung, grown accustomed to his unique mannerisms and behaviors without even noticing. Felix, on the other hand, has a different point of view.

He’s not in it like you are, so gets to see the way Jisung looks at you; the way he hangs on each and every word that leaves your mouth with a sparkle in his eye. He notices that Jisung longs to make you laugh. And he watches the toothy grin each that grows on your face each time a chuckle breaks through your lips. Felix notices every behavior that you see as nothing more than ‘friendly.’ But who is he to say? So, for now, the information remains tucked away and stored in his mind for a later date.

Your fingers drum on the clean marble countertop beside you, leaning against it as you wait for a customer to come in. All this time with nothing to do is really doing wonders for your imagination; thinking about what Jisung has planned for the two of you to do tonight. Nothing special, you hope, he really doesn’t need to go all out for this.

The lack of customers and silence that's fallen among the shop is just making it easier for your mind to wander off. It was beginning to make you sick how much you were thinking about Jisung and nothing has even happened yet. It's not like you have any reason to be nervous, but keeping all these thoughts trapped in your thick skull is starting to give you a headache

“He’s picking me up after work.” You blurt it out without thinking much about it. No one is here, you might as well lay it all out there for Felix to know since there's nothing better to do.

“He’s picking you up? Like you’re going on a date?”

“Shut upppp,” your eyes roll at his teasing nature, growing slightly embarrassed by how giddy the thought of this ‘date’ is making him, and you for that matter. It’s just Jisung. And you are just hanging out like you do every other night. There's nothing different about tonight and you’ll be able to prove that to yourself and Felix by the next time you see him.

The rest of you shift flies by – it always does when you work with Felix. Before you know it, the closing checklist is coming to an end, only a few steps left before you can finally get out of here. The clock had just turned to 7:55 pm, but Jisung still isn’t here. Not that you’re expecting him to be on time or anything, this is still the same Jisung you have always known.

What you aren’t familiar with is the nervous butterflies fluttering around in your tummy as the clock approaches 8 pm. What are you even nervous about? It isn’t a blind date, other than the fact that you have no idea what you’re doing. And it isn’t even a date. It’s Jisung for crying out loud.

Speaking of the devil, the chimes in the front of the shop ring as Jisung passes through the doorway. You don’t see who it is at first, your back turns to the door as you sweep behind the counter. The chimes ringing at this time of night do trigger your fight or flight instincts though, ready to turn to whoever is approaching and give them a dirty look for coming in this close to closing time.

But once you turn around and see Jisung standing in the doorway with a bouquet of sunflowers, your tension quickly subsides. You swear that you can feel your heart skip a beat, heat rising to your cheeks as you try your hardest to form a coherent sentence. It's okay that you aren’t able to, though, the surprised look on your face is enough for his smile to light up the room.

“I’m here to pick up the pretty girl with the espresso stain on her shirt,” he chuckles, his bottom lip catching between his teeth nervously.

Tonight he’s dressed a lot nicer than usual comfy attire; a nice shirt with a pair of dark jeans that hug his slim figure. His hair is a lot lighter too – a vast change from the midnight black strands that normally frame his face. He’s really going all out for this thing – and right now all that you’re wearing a pair of running shorts and a t-shirt with coffee stains down the front.

When you look to your right, Felix is just as stunned as you are. Frozen in his spot as his jaw practically sweeps the floor, he looks at you with wide eyes, his eyebrows raised as a smug expression crosses his face. For a second you contemplate asking him if he’s all set to finish the closing checklist on his own, but before you’re able to speak up he’s already shooing the two of you out the door.

With a goofy grin displayed across his face, Jisung hands you the bundle of flowers, tied together with a delicate white ribbon. You mumble a thank you, still stunned that he showed up here looking like that to take you out tonight. So he is the romantic type, note taken.

“You like nice,” you gulp nervously. It already feels like a date and you haven’t even left the parking lot yet. If this is how things are going to start you had an exciting 13 more days ahead of you...

“So do you,” he smirks, his eyes wandering down to the small brown stains littering your shirt. Eyes narrowing, you read the expression crossing his face – of course, he’s joking. “I brought you some fresh clothes to change into don’t worry.”

Relief rushes through your body as the words leave his lips, followed by a slight pull on your heart strings. Knowing he took the time to think about bringing you something else to wear so you didn’t have to sit in your coffee scented clothes all night made you feel warm in the strangest way. He’s thoughtful, and it's weirding you out – but in a good way.

“So, where are we even going?”

“You’ll see.”

A vague yet interesting, and very on-brand response from Jisung. He’s always been a fan of surprises – as long as he’s not on the receiving end.

The drive to your destination drags on forever. You aren’t quite sure how long you’ve been on your way; between your agile back seat changing of clothes, which you are surprisingly skilled at, and the anticipation coursing through your veins, you’ve lost track of time. All you know is that you’ve been driving along the backroads of your area for at least 15 minutes, and there is nothing around you to indicate that your destination is near.

“This is it.” The car pulls into a small dirt parking lot, dimly lit by some dingy street lights that aren’t doing a very good job at their primary function. It's pretty hard to see what’s around you, no matter how hard you squint and press your forehead to the window to get a better look.

“Where are we?” The question leaves your lips in a worried fashion. Trees surround the parking lot on all three-sides, while the road you've pulled in from occupies the fourth-side. You’re hesitant to get out of the car, but as Jisung rounds the front and opens the door for you, you’re on your way out. He motions for you to hold on as he pops the trunk – returning with a blanket and a reusable shopping bag filled with god knows what.

He still hasn’t given an answer to your question though, and you still aren’t quite sure where you are. If It was lighter out you assume it would be beautiful here, all the greenery dark and shadows hovering over you from the trees.

The bright light from his cell phone flashlight lights up the way, a path on your right

“Hell no,” your arms cross over your chest as you stand still in your place. He’s out of his mind if he thinks you’re going into the woods this late at night. You’ve seen enough horror films, stuff like this never ends well.

“C’mon, it’s not as bad as it looks,” Jisung laughs at your pouting manner, amusement filling his system as you glue your feet to the ground of the parking lot. His puppy dog eyes plead for you to follow him, a hand outreaching in your direction for the taking. You contemplate it for a moment, your eyes narrowing as you ponder the possible outcomes of the situation before you.

“Fine,” you huff as you take his hand in yours.

His hand feels different in yours this time. His long fingers lacing between your smaller ones in the perfect fit that you’ve neglected to notice before. You’ve held his hand before, platonically though. This time it’s platonic too though, right? It’s just a date. A platonic date between two friends. Two friends who are dating on a two week trial period. So yes, it is strictly platonic. Right?

The dirt path doesn’t drag on for too long, but the sounds of bugs ticking and twigs breaking beneath your feet is enough to startle you. Every scared and breathy gasp that leaves your mouth is followed by a small fit of laughter from Jisung. At least one of you is amused.

But the dirt path soon turns rocky, a clearing becoming more and more noticeable as Jisung’s flashlight brightens the way ahead of you. The rows of trees come to an end as the ground flattens, a giant slab of rock lying beneath your feet. Out ahead of you is completely dark, and until you approach the darkness you don’t notice that you’re just a few yards away from the edge of a cliff. A river lies below the edge, the sound of water rushing fills your ears and calms your nerves. It is quiet out here, peaceful and without distraction.

Jisung stands back as you admire the scenery around you – your own phone flashlight now out and panning around to look at the view. It’s beautiful out here, nothing to worry about but the sounds of the water and whatever Jisung is doing behind you…

You couldn’t have zoned out for more than 2 minutes, but once you turn back around to face him a picnic blanket lies on the ground before you. Snacks scatter the extent of the fabric, a few candles placed in the center

“You really went all out for this, huh?” A nervous laugh leaves your lips before you swallow harshly. Never in your life has a guy ever gone all out like this for you. A late-night picnic at a secret location, fixed with all of your favorite snacks and some candles for ambiance.

“Had to,” he smiles, “it’s our first date.”

You join him on the blanket, grabbing for a bag of popcorn as you sit down. Maybe relationships wouldn’t suck so much if all men treated you like this…

But it’s just Jisung. Jisung who already knows all your favorite things to eat. He’s just trying to be convincing – to prove to you that men take you on dates, do nice things. But stuff like this never lasts. Two weeks from now you’ll be going back to the same old Jisung and Y/N friendship that you’ve always had.

The conversation goes on as normal tonight, he doesn’t make any moves (as expected, it’s Jisung) and you enjoy the view and calm atmosphere with your fake but not so fake boyfriend. You stay out on the cliff for a few more hours before he takes you home. Jisung put a lot of effort into making tonight special, and you appreciate him for that. But even after all his effort, you know that real relationships aren’t like this.

Every guy you’ve dated would try to woo you over in the beginning too. They call it the honeymoon stage for a reason. Things are always great in the beginning, lavish gifts and dates, loving gestures. That kind of thing never lasts. Soon the effort runs out, the guy gets bored of putting the work in, and they end up sleeping with your freshman year roommate. Well, at least that's how it is for you.

The bundle of sunflowers Jisung gave to you earlier on in the night sits on the end table next to your bed. Each time you look at them all you can picture is the goofy grin he sported as he stood at the entrance of the coffee shop. It replays in your mind like a movie. How he dressed up all spiffy just to take you out. How he took you to a spot only he knew about, somewhere so off-site and serene that he knew you’d remain uninterrupted. You can’t help but wonder if he’s using the same old tricks on you that he does to other girls though. If he only knew about that place because he’s taken someone there before.

Not that it matters though, you aren’t his real girlfriend. You’re just on a trial period. But for some reason the thought that he might have brought another girl to the same spot before doesn’t sit well with you.

“Sooooo,” Felix teases, letting his chin fall into his palm as he leans on the counter before him, “how was your date with Y/N?”

Jisung chuckles at his nosiness, he’s sure you’ve already told Felix all about it. There are no secrets left between you two. Even sometimes Jisung felt like the odd man out when you’re all together.

“It was good.”

Jisung keeps his answer short, leaving the rest up to his imagination. He isn’t one to kiss and tell – or to not kiss and tell. Keeping his private life all to himself is something he takes pride in, things are just better that way.

“Just good?” Felix challenges, knowing there is much more that he’s leaving out. His eyes narrow as he waits for his response. You haven’t told him anything about last night, not even where you went after he picked you up. Things are radio silent on your end, which left Felix dying to know what actually happened on your ‘date that wasn't a real date.’

Jisung glances back at him, contemplating whether or not he should spill the beans. It would be kind of nice to have someone else to confide in. Especially since it's always you on the receiving end of his secrets; however, this may be the one secret that you don’t know of.

He chews on his bottom lip pensively, if anyone knows what’s on your mind, it would be Felix. Not that Jisung would ever want to pry, there's just no indication of how you feel about last night, or about him. Before Jisung can even open his mouth to speak, a knowing smirk is spread wide across Felix’s face. It’s that kind of look that makes him nervous – he knows something.

“You like her don’t you,” he muses, rubbing his hands together smooths as the words catch in the air. It’s out there now – and it’s obvious. Well, maybe not obvious, but it's clear as day to Felix – and that is more than enough to make Jisung worry.

“I don’t,” Jisung denies the other boy’s claim, his willpower too strong to give in.

“Oh yeah? So why do you self sabotage every one of your relationships then?”

The words catch Jisung off guard; his jaw clenching harshly as an annoyed breath is forced out of his nostrils. He wants to deny the claim once again, but he can’t bring himself to keep brushing off these feelings that have had a grip on him ever since he was young.

Felix is right too. He does sabotage each relationship that comes his way. Jisung goes out of his way to find something wrong with each girl he dates. He can never admit it to himself, but in the back of his mind, he knows that it's the fact that none of those girls are you. None of the girls he’s ever met could ever match up to all that you are. In his mind, you held the perfect score, and no one else had ever come close.

“It’s written all over your face every time you look at her you know.”

There's no way he’s that obvious... Did his feelings show that much whenever he was around you?

“What do you mean?” Jisung clarifies, the small once of hope bearing weight in his chest that Felix will follow up with a ‘just kidding’ or change the subject. Only the silence that falls on the room is enough of a response for Jisung to get the clue.

“Just please don’t tell her,” he avoids eye contact with the other boy, hand gripping harshly on the countertop as he stares down at the black and white checkered tile. “I just wanted to see if I could change her mind – about the love stuff, you know?”

The second you find out about Jisung’s feelings all bets would be off. There’s no way you’d let your little arrangement continue, not if either of you could end up hurt. And he knows you only agreed to this because there is nothing between you romantically, it was a deal between two friends. The second feelings get involved, everything gets all mushy and confusing, and Jisung can’t lose you.

Felix bears his weight on the counter behind him, leaning comfortably on the cool glass. “Believe me, I want her to be done with that ‘I hate love thing’ just as much as you do,” he sighs, looking around momentarily before he clears his throat. “Want me to be honest?”

“Please.”

“I think you might be the only one who can change her mind.”

Jisung’s heart skips a beat once the words leave Felix’s mouth. Blood rushes to his ears, pumping like a snare drum as he considers his thoughts. His stomach begins to twist as he considers it, almost confused about what Felix means, but not willing to accept it. You only agreed to fake-date him, you still hate love.

A comfortable silence fills the air, Felix watching him as his lips roll between his teeth, deep in thought. Change your mind. The words repeat in Jisungs head like a broken record. That’s what he’s trying to do, all for the right reasons of course. So that you don’t have to be so miserable about it anymore.

But behind those selfless reasons are several smaller, selfish ones. He gets to be with you as more than a friend now, and although it’s nothing more than some kind of test run, he can’t help but feel like this can be something more too. It’d be crazy to ignore the feeling he has deep in his chest, and maybe it's a sign not to.

“Like you think…” Jisung gulps, clearing his throat as the words stutter out of his mouth, “I could get her to fall for me?”

The lack of response that Felix gives is ominous, but the raise of his eyebrows and toothy grin forming on his face needs no words to tell.

If anyone is to change your mind, it’ll be Jisung.

That night Jisung took you to the drive-in movies. To be quite honest, you couldn’t really recall what was playing, some Pixar film with bugs as the main character if you could remember it correctly. You were far too distracted laughing with Jisung, watching as young kids played around on a grassy patch near his car. The giggles that left his lips each time the little girl waved to him were music to your ears. You never noticed how much he loved kids, how good he was with them.

The image of his hands clasped together as he fawned over the little girl, picking dandelions in the grass and racing to place them by your feet was burned into your memory. The boxy grin that graced his face all night long. The way his eyes squinted from his cheeks, pushing up as he smiled so big. The whispers of the word ‘cute’ each time her pigtails bounced while she toddled away.

Missing the movie doesn't disappoint you. If anything, the memories you've saved from tonight are more than enough.

The next night you were unable to go out, the shop was so busy that you were not able to leave until an hour and a half after your shift was supposed to end. Some punk kid dropped a cup of iced coffee on the floor on his way out and decided it would be best to leave it there without cleaning anything up or letting you know. Maybe if it hadn’t been so busy then you would have noticed the spill before it dried up and there were coffee stains stuck to the tile floors.

Naturally, you spent a good 15 minutes trying to mop up all the stickiness on the floor. But to your luck, Jisung is working with you that night. Once all the customers left the shop he hooked his phone up to the speakers, grabbed your hands, and danced you around the shop. Well, it was supposed to be dancing but it probably looked more like Jisung swinging your arms as you attempted to not trip over your own feet.

It makes up for not getting to go out though, and you’d take a night like that over a fancy dinner any chance you got.

It’s been 12 days since you became Jisung‘s girlfriend, and as the remaining days decreased, so did your hatred for love. Each night he planned something special. The real kicker was the texts that you get once he makes it home from dropping you off every night. A simple ‘I had a great time tonight’ was enough to make your heart swell and heat rise to your cheeks.

And as you notice your hatred for love and relationships leaving you, you notice another feeling enter your system. Or several feelings…

Things are getting just as sticky as the night when two frappuccinos splattered all over the shop floor, whipped cream and all. Spending time with Jisung like this is bringing some things to the surface you didn’t know were buried in the first place.

Every night that you spent with Jisung over the past 12 days allowed you to see him in a new light. You got to see him on a different level than just friends. You got to see what every girl that fawns over Jisung experiences.

Something about your friendship never let you jump past that barrier. You only see him as a dear friend of yours. Nothing more and nothing less. And now the issue is that...you aren’t sure how you’ll ever go back to see him as such.

You like Jisung as more than a friend, that's for sure. And you know because of that things will never be able to go back to the way they once were.

Maybe you're reading too much into it, but your gut is telling you that you aren't the only one feeling this way.

The feeling of butterflies that pound in your stomach each time you meet eyes with him has to be reciprocated. There is just no way you can be feeling this way and he isn’t.

This isn’t like the feelings you’ve caught for any guy before, this is something else. Every night when you go home you lay in bed, staring at your ceiling with a dumb grin on your face as you think about your time together, about him. About the way his black curly hair falls in front of his eyes each time he looks down and how his smile lights up every room he was in.

These things that you were so blind to before can’t escape your thoughts, and it makes you wonder how many times or things you’ve looked over that make you melt, just like you are right now.

But in just 2 days, this trial-boyfriend period will be over, and you’ll have to go back to being just friends. Each day, each hour, each minute that approaches feels heavier and heavier. Anxiety floods your system each time you think about things being over, or that this arrangement you have isn’t even real.

When you think about the growing feelings you have for him, you honestly can't imagine what your life will be like any other way. What it would be like going back to just hanging out here and there. And what it would be like

You can’t even fathom thinking about what it would be like hearing him talk about another girl again. It makes you sick thinking that there's going to be someone after you, because in just 5 days this will be all over, and you’ll go back to being the girl best friend, nothing more.

Maybe it’s just wishful thinking that Jisung has more feelings for you too. But the glimmer in his eyes as his bangs brush out of his eyes and they land on you tells a different story. When he looks at you it feels like you are the only two people on earth. He sees nothing else but you, and the way your eyes sparkle back at him.

Each day you spend with Jisung after that feels like a wrench tightening the screws of your heart. 14 days is just not enough.

“Earth to Y/N,” Felix says waving a hand in your face.

You must have zoned out, for god knows how long.

“Thinking about Jisung?”

“What?” you immediately straighten your posture and brush yourself off before responding, “N-no…I’m just thinking.”

“Right,” the sarcasm drips from his lips, not sparing you any time to save yourself as he turns away, beginning to wipe off the tables in the front.

For personal reasons, you’ve kept Felix out of the loop during this whole “fake-boyfriend Jisung” thing. It’s better if you keep your feelings to yourself until you figure them out. And although it feels really really strange not giving Felix the intel on what’s going on in your life, you know it’s for your own good.

Once you put what is in your head out into the world, you can’t take it back. And what if all these things that you’re feeling is just a part of the honeymoon-phase. If that even existed anyway… But if all these feelings for Jisung are due to him trying to woo you and change your mind, everything will just fade away as things return back to normal. And then you’ll be left loving him in silence while you watch him blow through relationships like a leaf blows through the wind.

Something in you tells you that this isn't the case, but the small shadow of doubt in the back of your mind keeps you from talking to your best friend about it anyway.

The thing is, you don't have to tell Felix for him to know. Every time Jisung picks you up from work to take you out you shine. Your smile spreads so wide he’s afraid your cheeks will tear. The nervous shake of your fingers as you grab for your belongings as you head out the door doesn’t go unnoticed in Felix’s eyes. He knows you too well to look over things like this, he just wanted to wait for you to say something first.

But now that you aren’t, Felix has decided to take matters into his own hands, asking you about it himself.

“Felix,” you start, waiting for his attention before you pull out a stool, sitting down and motioning for him to follow suit. Quickly he does, a questioning but knowing look evident on his face as the stool squeaks under him. “You know how this thing between Jisung and I is just an experiment or whatever?”

He nods in response, his hand quickly falling into his palm as he listens intently to your words.

“I think I messed up.” Your head is buried in your arms, laid over the tabletop in embarrassment.

“What do you mean?”

His question is more for clarification, he wants to hear you say it yourself. Felix knows that you’re gonna tell him that you’ve already caught feelings. He sees it coming from a mile away, you confirming it is just the icing on the cake.

“Don’t make me say it,” you whine, neglecting to pick your head up and look at him. You can feel the grin on his face. You know he's smirking at you right now, doing his best to hold back a laugh. Finally, you over the ‘I hate love and relationships suck’ thing.

“I have no clue what you’re talking about,” he sings, quite obviously teasing you while another deep sigh echoes from your chest. You manage to pick your head up, leaning onto your elbows with your chin caught between your palms as you face him.

“I like him.”

It comes out as a whisper, but Felix hears it loud and clear. If you didn’t know better, you’d assume that the smile on his face can't grow any larger, but it does. He jumps up from his chair in victory, doing a funny dance with his arms whooping in the air to celebrate. You’re confused as to why, but you’re too far in your own thoughts to pay it any mind; your head just sinks back into your arms as your forehead presses against the cold metal table beneath you.

“I knew it,” Felix smiles, his happy dance subsiding as he positions himself back down across from you. “I knew this fake dating thing was gonna work.

“Yeah well it really worked, because now I have feelings for a guy that’s never gonna reciprocate them for me.” Your tone is laced with sarcasm, a disappointing ring sounding off on each of your words. You’re too embarrassed to look at the boy sitting before you, worried that if you do all the emotions you’ve been holding onto for so long will spill over and stain your stone-cold image; one you’ve maintained for far too long.

But Felix is your best friend. The only one that you should be comfortable being vulnerable about your feelings for Jisung with; for some reason all you can’t bring yourself to be. Before you can get a grip on your emotions tears are streaming down your face and falling onto the cold metal surface under you in small puddles.

A sympathetic sigh leaves Felix’s lips as he tries to gain your attention, “Hey.”

Inhaling deeply, you face him – mascara strewn across your face in black streaks and eyes nearly bloodshot. You’ve held this in for far too long. Only a double would tire you out and exhaust you enough to cry on the clock. Thank god it’s a rainy day, no customers ever come in on rainy days.

Or at least, no customers usually come in on rainy days. It's not until you hear the bells on the front door ring that you’re wiping your eyes, whipping around to greet whoever was entering.

And then you see him, standing there as he shakes out his umbrella, a bouquet of sunflowers in his hand.

And he sees you; mascara running down your face and tears staining your cheeks. He’s early. Your stomach turns at the sight of him, emotions not stable enough to handle carry a normal conversation like

“Y/N,” his voice is quiet, worry dripping in his tone as your name leaves his lips. But you can’t face him right now, not like this.

Your feet move faster than you mind, standing up and rushing to the back to avoid him. Jisung doesn’t follow you, just stands there and watches you walk away, solemn and worried that he’s done something.

It’s not until Felix is rising from his seat and pacing over to him that he’s brought back to reality.

“Jisung...” he starts, hands coming up slowly to console him, “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be here right now.”

“Wh-what’s wrong?” His lip worries between his teeth, eyes glossy as he stares at the door you just closed behind you. He’s looking at it intently, mind flooding with worry, wishing so badly that the door will just fly open, and you’ll tell him what was going on. In the back of his mind, he knows that you won’t, at least not for now. Talking about emotions has never been your strong suit, and chances of that changing at this moment are at an all-time low.

Felix is unsure how to answer him, caught in between not wanting to lie and keeping your feelings private. He can’t speak for you; but he’s scared that saying nothing could just make this whole situation worse.

His mouth gapes as he searches for a response to his question, lips opening and closing while he hums to himself.

The umbrella hanging from Jisung’s hand drops with a crash, starling Felix as he jumps at the sudden sound. But before he is even able to speak, the bell to the front door is ringing again, and Jisung is walking away into the pouring rain.

The next day you wake up feeling numb. You’ve received several texts from Jisung the night before, none of which you have the energy to reply to or even look at for that matter.

The guilt riddling your body has become too much for you to handle. You left work last night without even saying goodbye to Felix. He’s a good enough friend and coworker to know that what you’re going through is more important than working the counter at an coffee shop.

After Jisung left, Felix came back and let you know; he almost had to break down the door to the backroom in order for you to let him in. He told you to go home, get some rest and that you’d talk tomorrow.

But after waking up the last thing you want to do is talk about Jisung, it hurts enough just thinking about him.

Every time you thought about how your arrangement was supposed to end in just a few days you felt sick. You have worked so hard to open up just to build your walls back up again. And now you’re back at square one.

When you agreed to be Jisung’s girlfriend you did not expect to fall for him like this. He’s Jisung for god’s sake. He’s your personal diary, he’s the one who knows all the shit that nobody else does. And he’s the only one that listens to all the dumb shit you have to say that no one else cares about.

Feelings ruin everything. Love sucks, and you knew this before you agreed. You agreed under the circumstances that Jisung could show you that relationships could be fun; not under the circumstances that he would make you fall in love with him,

And the more that you think about it, maybe you were always in love with him. Maybe you always had these feelings for him, but they were trapped in the tight bonds of friendship that your subconscious never let you out.

But none of that even mattered now. The deal had to be off, and you need to distance yourself from Jisung before you are hurt any worse. The longer this goes on the worse that you are going to feel when it's all over.

How are you supposed to go back to normal after this? Like is Jisung thinking that showing you how amazing relationships are, you won't fall for him or something? Or does his true plan consist of making you fall in love with him, just to string you along like every other girl he's dated?

You’re trapped in the never-ending spiraling thoughts, soiling your image of Jisung with each new theory that crosses your mind. None of them are good. All of them paint him as a player, as someone who just used you.

But the little thump in your heart when you notice the sunflowers placed on your bedside table wants your mind to change. Your heart wants you to believe that Jisung feels something too, that throughout this arrangement he has seen a different side to you too – that he’s fallen for you just like you have for him.

It's a knock at your door that guides you out of your thoughts. The repetitive tapping at your front door that drags you out of bed. And when you check your peephole and it's no one else, but your small blonde best friend standing on your doorstep that has relief rushing through your system.

The door cracks open, Felix standing there with an umbrella in his hand – even though it was nearly 100º with clear skies.

“Why are you still in your pajamas? It's noon.”

Suddenly, he pushes past you and invites himself into to your living room. Plopping down on your couch, Felix makes himself comfortable as he waits for you to join. You spin on your heels, an exhausted breath leaving your mouth as you pace over to him, plopping down on the next cushion over.

“Why the umbrella?” Your brow furrows as he hands it over. You take it though, still confused behind the meaning of the object that you're holding and where it came from.

“It’s Jisung’s.”

You nearly drop it as his name leaves his lips. The name causes your stomach to tighten, mouth-drying instantly as emotions well behind your eyes.

“Why?” Is all you can mutter out. Why was he giving it to you, why is he here, and why did he have it?

“You need to bring it back to him.” He says sternly, his eyes locked on you as he waits for you to look back at him. But you’re too focused on the umbrella placed gently in your hands, tracing your finger over every wire and the soft rubber handle.

“I can’t.” Your words come out in a whisper, breath light and airy as you sigh, sinking your body back into the couch cushions. Giving the umbrella back to Jisung will mean that you have to go see him. And if you see him, he’s going to want to talk to you about last night, then question you about why you haven’t been returning his texts. No. You will not be giving Jisung his umbrella back.

“Y/N,” your name leaves his mouth gently, a sigh following it before he reaches for you, rubbing your arm comfortingly before continuing, “I think you need to talk to him.”

“Felix you know I can’t do that.”

You’re serious in your words. Not that you don’t want to talk to Jisung. You most definitely want to – and if you could, you would. But you can’t. There are too many emotions involved. The wound is fresh and seeing him would be rubbing salt right into it.

“Y/N,” he sighs, this time more forceful, like he’s trying to get something across to you but it's going right over your head. “Talk to him. Please.”

“You know I’m going to end up hurt if I do.” Tears well in your eyes as the words croak from your throat. It's dry and scratchy, full of fear and anxiety.

“I think you’d be surprised,” he mumbles, his eyes instantly widening on realizing the words that just escaped. Eyes wide with confusion, you’re begging him to go on, but if he does then Jisung won’t be the only one in deep shit right now. It's not up to Felix to tell you what he knows this time.

“What do you mean I’ll be surprised?”

“I have to go,” he stands instantly, motioning to the umbrella, “and you need to bring this back.”

With a slight ruffle to your hair, Felix is giving you a supporting smile and waving goodbye. And you’re left alone once again – just you and Jisung’s blue umbrella.

It takes a lot of courage to get ready today. You make sure to take your sweet time rummaging through your closet, flipping through articles of clothing for the better half of an hour. At the end, you opt to go with a pair of sweatpants and an old t-shirt. There isn't enough energy in your body to put on anything else, and you know you’ll just want to curl back up in bed once you get home. Sweatpants are safe, and safe is just what you need.

No makeup today either. If things are anything like you’re expecting, your makeup will just end up ruined anyway. It's your better judgment to shower though, you’ve neglected to take one after work last night; opting to just bury yourself under your covers as soon as you got back. But today is a new day. And with a fresh shower and your comfiest pair of sweatpants, you are about as ready as you’ll ever be to get your heart broken into a billion pieces.

Umbrella in hand, you step out onto your front steps, relishing in your last few moments of ignorant bliss before making your way to Jisung’s. You immediately regret your wardrobe decision as the sun beats down on your frame, the humidity making you feel sticky and gross – your favorite pants are no match for this heat.

But you’re on your way to your destination anyway, the drive feeling longer and more drawn out than normal. Jisung didn’t live that far away from you, but the ride there still felt like an eternity with each theoretical scenario passing your mind.

Dragging your feet, you make your way to the front steps of his house. You’ve been here a million times, but today is different. From now on, every time you drive past this place all you’ll know is heartache.

You brush yourself off, taking a deep breath before bringing your hand up and pushing the doorbell. The sudden ringing sound startles you, even though you have every indication that it’s coming – you’re just too nervous and jumpy for your own good.

Footsteps approach the door, your stomach tightening more and more with the muffled pitter-patter of footsteps. You’re praying to God that it’s his mom, hoping that Jisung just so happens to be out – even though his car is in plain sight parked just a few meters away from you. Wishful thinking, you suppose.

When the door to his house opens, you struggle to maintain your composure. He’s dressed similarly to you; a pair of sweats and an old sports t-shirt that has definitely seen better days.

“Hi.”

His eyes are sunken in, dark circles dragging underneath his eyes and his lips pulled downwards. He looks like a sad puppy, his dark hair all scruffy and sticking up in each direction – probably from him running his hands through it so many times.

“I came to give you this,” you extend the umbrella out before you. He nods before taking hold of it, his hand far at the opposite end making sure not to keep his distance. The more you look at him, the more sorry you feel for dodging his texts. He looks like he hasn’t slept a wink, and you’re afraid it’s all because of you.

“Oh...uh, thanks,” he struggles to make eye contact with you, looking down at the object in his hand.

It’s awkward, uncomfortable, and you can’t seem to find the words to say to break this strange tension between the two of you. He’s acting weird, shifting his weight back and forth but not moving away to close the door. His mind is racing once again – contemplating whether or not to just invite you in or leave it at that.

But with every aching bone in his body, he musters up the courage to lift his head, looking you directly in the eyes. Their dark like his, definitely from the lack of sleep you had the night before. Your mouth is turned downward too; hands fiddling together to try and distract yourself.

“D-Do you wanna come in?” He stutters, stepping aside slowly as he gestures towards his house. He suddenly worries when you don’t respond right away, taking a second to contemplate if this is a good idea or not. Ripping off the band-aid is never easy, but it needs to be done.

“Sure,” is the word that you decide on – hoping that it doesn’t make you seem disinterested or too desperate to talk. Maybe he’s just being kind though. Maybe it’s an empty offer, something that you say when you’re trying to be nice, but subconsciously hope that they won’t take you up on it. Like when you offer to share your food with someone, but you’re really hungry. You do it to be nice, not because you actually want to split the delicious looking burger and fries on your plate.

He leads you inside and to his bedroom. It looks the same as always, but it feels different. It still smells like him though, the comforting woodsy scent of pine and mahogany that he always reaches for. But that comforting scent is anything but comfortable. You’re frozen in place, unsure if you should sit on his bed and make yourself at home, much like every other time in the past. For now you just stand in the doorframe, waiting for him to tell you to take a seat, just like any polite guest would. A guest. You have never felt like a guest in his home before, or around Jisung in general. But that imaginary wall between the two of you is standing tall and sturdy, and suddenly the two of you are reverted back to being strangers.

You watch as he toys with something on his desk, his fingers dancing from object to object and sifting through papers to look busy. The point of it – unknown to you but to him, he’s buying time. Trying to think of the first thing to say, what to ask, or if you even wanted to talk. Maybe you only agreed to come inside to be nice. Maybe you were too worried about hurting his feelings if you said no. But alas, here you are, standing awkwardly in his doorway as he shuffles around his room, his brain flooding with thoughts – but his mouth can not form them into audible words.

“I’m sorry for ignoring your texts.”

Your voice catches his attention, dropping whatever paper he’s looking at now and turning his gaze to you. You’re sunken into yourself, your chest thumping with anxiety as his eyes begin to wander your frame. Not in a ‘I’m checking you out’ manner though; more of a ‘you look so sad and I don’t know what to say to you right now’ kind of way.

It’s true though, he doesn’t know what to say – which is why he’s staring at you, hoping the right words would just pop up and he didn’t have to use any brain-power at all. He doesn’t want to say ‘it's okay,’ because it's not. You never ignore his texts, and that alone tells him enough about what's going on. You are upset at him.

“What did I do wrong, Y/N?”

His words sound accusatory but his tone is soft, gentle and full of worry. Eyes swollen and looking like they are about to fill to the brim with tears, his sight is focused on you; now not able to look away.

“I-I don’t know…”

Your answer is honest. You don’t know if his intentions are dirty. Yeah, that’s what you thought initially, but looking at him with such hurt written all over his face tells a different story.

Jisung is silent, unsure of what more he can do or say to make you talk to him. He can’t force you to open up, he never has and he never will – that’s always been his rule. Everything you’ve shared with him has been on your own terms and conditions. Jisung has always been here to be your listening ear, but he never prys.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

His voice is soft, eyes full of sympathy as he holds himself together. Those were the words he has been looking for. Now the ball is in your court and you’ll have to be the one leading the conversation. It’s just what he needed to figure this shit out.

“I-I don’t know.”

“Y/N,” he sighs as he drops himself down onto the mattress, “I shouldn’t have to say this for you to know it, but you know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

You do know that. You really, really do. But this time things are different. Is he expecting you to just come out and speak your truth like there won’t be consequences? No, he won’t push you to tell him anything you don’t want to. But the worry in his eyes and clammy hands are begging for you to just let it out so he can stop being in the dark.

You sigh out an ‘okay’ before sitting down beside him.

Rip the band-aid off Y/N. Quick and painless.

His eyes narrow, almost to a squint, staring right through you in hopes of reading your thoughts. Your expression is nothing but blank as you try your best to gain some sort of composure. Do you just speak up and spill your guts? The words replay in your mind over and over until your thoughts are beat down and misshapen.

You can picture his face when you say it; disgusted with a trace of disappointment and some confusion spread into the mix. Or maybe he’ll laugh at how pathetic you were, catching feelings for your fake boyfriend.

That’s it. There’s no way you can tell him. It would be much easier to just get up and leave. Tell him to pretend like none of this ever happened and that you needed some time to cool off. A few months maybe, or maybe you could just ghost him entirely.

“Y/N?”

The sound of his voice breaks you out of your toxic thoughts, and his chocolate brown eyes bring you back down to earth. You can’t just leave him in the dust. He’s looking at you like you’re the only thing that exists. Things will be okay, right?

“Sorry, sorry,” you exhale deeply as you calm your thoughts; shifting the nasty scenarios out and accepting that whatever happens after this conversation is your fate.

“Jisung, I-I guess I wasn’t expecting this boyfriend-girlfriend thing we’re doing to go like this.”

His brow quirks at your words, confusion riddling his expression as his eyes narrow. With a tilt of his head, he’s pushing you to continue, visibly riddled with your choice of words.

“Swear you’ll be honest when I ask you this?” You question him, your hand moving closer to his as you lean in slightly. He’s like a magnet, you can’t help yourself from moving closer; even though the proximity of the two of you is clouding your thoughts and you can feel your heart beginning to swell.

He nods in response to your question, his eyes full of concern as he waits for you to continue, “Why did you ask me to do this thing?”

He knows that a question like this was coming, only if he could have prepared for it. But he didn’t, so his throat is left dry and scratchy as his mouth opens, only to stutter a bit before closing it back up. No coherent thoughts or words are able to escape his lips, just nonsense mumbling that caught himself off guard.

With a deep breath, he closes his eyes, regaining his composure before he can face you again. He agreed to be honest, and if honesty is what you want, honesty is that you’ll get.

“I’m sorry.” That’s all that he can say.

Oh no. This is exactly what you were expecting before you came here. He’s gonna tell you that he didn’t mean to mess with your emotions, that he felt you catching feelings and got carried away. That he’s sorry that he ruined your friendship and played you like a violin all at once.

“Me too.”

You don’t know why you’re apologizing, but you are. It feels wrong. Absolutely utterly, and undoubtedly wrong. Apologizing for your own feelings is not something that you are okay with. Especially when he made you fall for him like this. Okay so maybe thinking that is giving him too much power, but who the hell takes you out on dates for nearly 2 weeks straight just to laugh about it later. How can he expect you to not catch feelings for him? With his deep voice and fluffy hair that always hangs in front of his eyes, that little giggle he has when he finds something amusing. Everything about him was attractive. And you’ve fallen for it all. Hard.

“Wait, why are you sorry?”

A scoff escapes your mouth unintentionally, but it’s well deserved. “For being the idiot to fall for a guy that was playing her, I guess.”

You can’t look at him any longer, so your eyes fall to your lap, staring at your chipped nail polish and dirty fingernails instead of reading whatever dumb expression he has now. But if you just took a second to look up, you’d notice the widening of his eyes, how his fingers are beginning to shake and his mouth gape.

“Wh-What?”

“Don’t make me say it again Jisung, I don’t feel like sounding stupid one more time.”

“No no I heard you, it's just,” his eyes slam shut, angry at himself that he let things get this far without keeping you in the loop.

You’ve been telling him that you hate love for years now. After hearing it so many times, he’d just given up on the thought of you. Maybe if he said something before you went through all those shitty guys things could have been different. But he’s let this go on for far too long, and now you’re the one that was paying the price.

“Y/N I have feelings for you.”

Your neck nearly breaks with how fast your head snaps up. He’s the one looking away now, his cheeks a bit rosy as he tries to hide himself. He isn’t doing a very good job though, his hair is only shadowing his eyes and you can clearly see the way he’s nervously chewing on his lip; a cute habit you have grown fond of these past couple of weeks.

If he didn’t look like he does right now, you’d assume he was messing around. But you know Jisung. You know his small little gestures and what they mean by now. You know when he’s being serious and when he’s telling a lie. He can look someone dead in the eye and lie to them, but when he tells the truth, he becomes shy and worried that he’s said the wrong thing.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You ask softly, gently reaching for his hand. The subtle contact makes him flinch, reacting by pulling your hand away. But his eyes meet your sympathetic ones, sparkling just like they always do, and he knows what he wants.

Jisung’s hand reaches back for yours, lacing his fingers through yours before giving your hand a light squeeze. “You hate relationships,” he chuckles lightly, the mood of the room instantly shifting as the laughter leaves his lips.

“I hated the ones that weren’t with you,” you correct him, but your voice comes across as just a whisper. He’s close enough to hear though, a blushing grin forming on his face as you shyly look away. His heart flutters when he hears it, a million butterflies erupting in his tummy all at once.

“I hated the ones that weren’t with you too,” he coos, his eyes wide and sparkling as he looks at you with such adoration.

Time moves in slow motion as his hand meets your cheek, your eyes look deeply into his chocolate ones as he moves in closer. As your eyelids flutter shut his tongue runs across his bottom lip, wetting the surface before closing the distance between you. Finally.

And in that moment you’re at peace. Everything you thought you’ve ever hated, love, relationships, and maybe Jisung for a hot second, are the only things that you long for. The 14 days don’t have to be over, and your days no longer have to be counted. When you’re with Jisung you’re happy, you’re comfortable, and you're confident that he can give you what you have always deserved – but have never gotten.

His lips move against yours in slow, languid motions, his large hands holding you close like he’s holding on for dear life. But you won’t leave even if you want to, not now, not after all this.

Slowly, Jisung shifts his weight and you move in succession. He’s laying you down on his bed, gently climbing over you without breaking the kiss. Things are becoming more heated now, you can feel it as his hungry lips devour your own. Your chest heaves up to meet his, your back arching off the mattress as his hands begin to scour your body. The heat pooling in between your legs is growing, an aching sensation overwhelming your core as your own hands reach up to rake through his long, fluffy hair. And you can tell he wants you too, the thin fabric of his sweatpants doing little to conceal the growing erection pressing against your thigh.

You can’t help but let out a steep moan as his hips begin to grind into yours. Needy groans fall past his lips and onto yours as you roll your hips upwards to meet his small ruts.

In a leisurely motion, Jisung’s body is moving upwards, his knee finding a place between your legs as he brings himself up to a kneeling position. You chase his lips the entire way there, sitting up straight to be sure the contact doesn’t vanish, too consumed by your need for him to leave his lips.

And then his needy hands are running along the waistband of your sweats, fiddling with the tie before breaking your heated kiss. “Is this okay?” His words come out in a whisper, his eyes searching yours for any signs of doubt, but all he sees is lust.

“Yes,” you confirm, out of breath from making-out for so long without coming up for air. The lightheaded feeling taking over you goes unnoticed though, and quite frankly you’re too caught up in Jisung to care.

Quickly, he rids you of your pants, looking back up at you for confirmation about your underwear. With an affirmative nod he’s removing those too, leaving you completely bare from the waist down as he stands over you fully clothed.

But soon he’s ridding himself of his own clothing, his shirt being pulled at the nape of his neck as he discards it across the room. He’s leaning back down to you, hungry for the feeling of your lips. He misses it, even though it's been less than a minute since he’s last felt your smooth lips on his.

You won’t open your eyes to see, but with the shuffling movements and shaky connection between your mouths you can tell Jisung is stripping himself of any remaining clothing he has on. He’s needy, unable to wait any longer to get down to business, he’s already waited long enough.

You’re the one who breaks the kiss this time, too curious to see what he’s sporting down below for your own good. But you are not disappointed once you see it – he’s long and girthy; the pigment a shade or two darker from his skin tone than the rest of his body. Your thoughts are wandering, wondering what it's like to have him inside of you; dreaming about what he feels like. Arousal pools at your core, mouth salivating as your daydreams linger.

“Like what you see?” Jisung chuckles. You barely notice that you’ve been staring, eyes wide and focused on the hardened dick before you, which is probably a bit uncomfortable for him.

“Sorry!” You cringe at yourself lightly, covering your eyes in embarrassment in fear that you just ruined the mood you’ve worked too hard to create.

“Don’t apologise,” he smiles as he grabs your wrists, moving them away from your round eyes. Scrunching your nose in displeasure, you catch your lip in between your teeth, mentally face palming at how weird you’re being.

He couldn’t blame you though, it was taking everything in him not to gawk at you. It was the first time you’ve seen eachother naked. Bathing suits did little for your imagination, not that you had even thought about Jisung this way before.

But he eases your nerves by coming down face level with you, reaching for your shirt and pulling it up over your head. You look at him with wide eyes, taking in each part of him as he caresses your body gently. He’s in awe of you like this. So relieved that you’re finally his, that he has you like this.

Nimble fingers dance down your body, landing at your core as he runs one up your slit, collecting your arousal on his fingertip. An impressed smirk grows slowly on his face, “I can’t believe you’re this wet already,” he hums. “All for me.”

His eyes remain focused on your center, devouring it with his eyes as his hands hold steady on your thighs. You can’t help but grow slightly embarrassed, dripping with arousal so early on though he’s barely touched you. A lump forms in your throat causing you to swallow thickly – this doesn’t go unnoticed by Jisung.

A concerned expression crosses his face, brow furrowing as he moves his hands upward to settle on your waist. “Hey,” his voice is soft, gentle and full of worry, “everything okay?”

“Just nervous,” you answer, a fake smile showing on your face to try and combat your own emotions.

It is no secret that Jisung is a bit more experienced than you are in bed. He knows that, you know that, and that is enough to turn you into a nervous wreck. Leave it to your own thoughts to ruin the moment.

“We don’t have to…”

“No!” Your voice comes out a little too eager, a bit loud, shocking Jisung. His eyes widen in response, body jolting from the impact of your tone. “No,” you say more gently this time, “I want to.”

You did want to – you just have to get over your own nerves first. Lucily, Jisung didn’t mind and was willing to guide you through it.

With a reassuring smile plastered across his face, he laces his fingers through yours. As you lock eyes, you nod him onward, giving him the go-ahead to continue. He moves languidly, his fingers moving back down to trace your slit once more. The sensation makes you tense, the nerves tingling through your body making it difficult for you to calm down.

But with a reassuring squeeze of his hand to yours, you’re taking a deep breath. Closing your eyes as you lie your head backwards onto his pillowcase. The smell of him consumes you, relaxing you effectively as his fingers meet the entrance of your core.

Shivers run through your body as he dips one finger inside. Your arousal acts as a natural lube, letting his finger glide gracefully into you. You gasp at the sensation, eyes rolling back into your head as he begins caressing your walls. His finger moves swiftly in and out of your core, his other hand still locked with yours to guide you through.

With your body finally relaxing, Jisung is able to add another finger into the mix. The extra pressure makes you shudder for a moment, taking a little to adjust to the greater size inside of you. Thankfully the mild discomfort subsides, and he’s able to pump his fingers in and out once more.

He’s making sure to watch each of your expressions, growing harder and harder just from watching your face contort in bliss. With each of his movements you bite down harder onto your lip, focusing on him and him only.

“You’re doing so well,” he praises as his thumb rubs circles over your hand soothing you. You can feel your heart swell at his words, heat beginning to rise to your cheeks.

In one swift motion, Jisung begins to separate his fingers, stretching your walls as his digits move in scissor-like motions inside you. “Fuck,” you mumble, hips jutting forward in reaction.

A steep moan leaving your lips as he brings his fingers back together, just to extend them once more. Your body is quickly getting used to the pressure, begging for more as you roll your hips.

He can sense that you’re eager from your movements alone. With one final squeeze, his hand is leaving yours. The empty feeling in your palm is unpleasant. But once you open your eyes and notice he’s using it to palm himself, his fingers groping around his length and beginning to pump slowly, that empty feeling is replaced with something else.

Your mouth salivates with desire, hungry for the feeling of him inside of you. He’s aroused you enough, and you’re too eager to feel him for your own good.

“Jisung,” you moan, “fuck me please.”

His cock jumps in reaction to your words, his chest heaving as his breath catches in his throat. Never in his life did he expect to hear those words come out of your mouth – but he wouldn't mind hearing it again.

“Hmm?” He hums, knowing damn well what you said but being greedy enough to pretend that he didn’t. You whine in response, your legs shaking on the bed in a mini temper-tantrum.

“Please,” you drag out, “please fuck me.”

Your words are music to his ears. He removes his fingers from your dripping cunt, grabbing the backs of your knees to pull you closer to him and hike your legs up over his hips.

“Anything for you.”

Complying to your wish, he lines the tip of his cock up with your entrance. The feeling of his smooth head against your core is enough to make you moan, your head thrown back to expose the soft skin of your neck.

Jisung takes this as an opportunity to leave his own mark behind, leaning down to attach his lips to your skin. You gasp as his teeth graze your skin, his plump lips sucking harshly before his tongue is swiping over the area to soothe it.

But your eyes open once he’s beginning to pull away to look at you. His eyes are dark, full of lust mixed with adoration, a sigh of relief leaving his chest as he gazes down at you under him. There’s a lot going on in his head right now. Of all the emotions swirling around, the thing he’s most focused on is how lucky he is to have you.

And before you know it, he’s leaning down. Pressing a chaste kiss to your lips, making you smile. One more kiss is left on your forehead before he's pulling back, securing the position of your legs on his hips.

And then he’s realigning himself with your core, pushing past your entrance and slowly descending into the depths of your pussy. He’s moving slowly, taking his time as he thrusts into you. The delicious stretch is unfamiliar, but it's not uncomfortable – like you were made just for him. A simultaneous groan leaves your lips as he bottoms out, the tip of his cock pressing deep into you on a spot that’s gone untouched.

He hums a sigh of contempt before pulling back, only to rock his hips into you once again. Your velvety walls welcome him delightedly, soft whimpers leaving your lips once he bottoms out again.

“Y/N,” your name leaves his lips in a low grunt, the bones of his pelvis driving into your skin as he begins to pick up his pace. In reaction you clench down on him, orgasm beginning to loom overhead with each movement of his hips.

Desire fills your senses as you roll your hips over to meet his thrusts. His movements are slow and intentional, making sure to bottom out each time to watch you squirm over his dick. He loves how your jaw drops each time his tip presses against your g-spot, knowing just when he hits it each time.

Jisung’s teeth are barred, sweat gathering at his brow as his dark fluffy hair sticks to his face. He’s trying to hold himself back, the overwhelming urge to finish just in reach, but he doesn’t want to stop. So his hands roam your body to try and distract him, his palms caressing up the sides of your torso as your back bridges into him. The feeling of hot breath fans over your face with each sigh he lets out.

But the tightening knot in your stomach is threatening to snap with every movement of his hips. It's getting harder and harder to hold on with the power of his thrusts growing stronger.

“Jisung,” you whine, “so close” your hands find his back, fingernails dragging down his spine in attempts to ground yourself. Jisung’s face contorts as your nails pierce his skin, leaving lines of red scratches down the length of his posterior.

The stretch from his length and his rhythmic motions sends your senses into overdrive. Squeezing your eyes shut and grasping onto the sheets underneath you, you can taste the brink of your orgasm. Jisung is focused; his grip on your thighs strong and his face contorted with bliss. But all you can think about is how stupid you could have been if you had decided to just cut him out. What matters is that you’re here with him now, and the thought of that is enough to push you over the edge.

Your breath hitches in your throat, stomach twisting and turning as your pussy throbs repeatedly around his member. Emotions running high, three words almost slip past your lips, but with the small amount of strength you can muster up, you hold them back. Another time, some time that isn't so lust filled like this one.

Jisung’s thrusts are growing sloppy. His grip on your legs tightening as his lip is caught between his teeth. And with just a few quick thrusts, he’s coming undone inside of you. White, hot spurts of cum paint your walls, filling you up and making you feel so unbelievably full.

You’ve always felt close to Jisung – he knew everything about you and vice versa; but this time was different. The way his hands settled on your legs, bringing them down gently after finishing. How his eyes are becoming so soft as he looks at you, a lazy grin pulling at his lips. You’ve never felt closer to Jisung as you do in the moment. As his body collapses next to yours, pulling you in and holding you close as you recover from your highs, you’re completely at peace.

“Sorry I got carried away, I guess I should have asked if you’re on birth control still,” he laughs, burying his face into the crook of your neck.

“Don’t worry, I am,” you chuckle alongside him.

Your naked bodies tangle together, his leg weaving its way through yours to be as close to you as possible. He’s intoxicated by you, closing his eyes as he rests against your body in complete bliss. Now that he has you this close he never wants to let go; and neither do you.

“Can I tell you something?” His voice is soft, whisper like but still holding confidence; his tone never falters.

“Anything.”

“I love you, Y/N.”

Butterflies erupt in your tummy, your heart thudding in your chest as heat rises to your cheeks. He loves you. It's not that friendship kind of love anymore; it's the relationship kind. The same kind that makes your heart skip a beat and body riddle with every emotion in the book. The kind that keeps you up all night thinking about – but also helps you fall asleep, knowing he’ll be there in the morning.

And all of a sudden it seems so stupid that you were fighting those words back in the heat of the moment just a few minutes ago. He felt it too, you always knew that.

“I love you, Jisung.”

Being in love is a dumb concept. All guys suck, relationships are stupid and love is a social construct that you didn’t feel like conforming to. There was absolutely no one that you would waste your time on, until Jisung came around. What you had been looking for your entire life has always been right infront of your eyes – you were just too dumb to see it.

Maybe love is alright, after all.

↠ A/N this fic has been rewritten/reconcepted from my previous BTS fic Crush Culture.

#stray kids smut #han jisung smut #kdiner #kwritersworldnet #stayracha #kafenetwork #skz x reader #stray kids #stray kids x reader #stray kids fanfic #han jisung #jisung x reader #jisung smut #jisung fluff #stray kids fluff #stray kids angst #han jisung x reader #skz jisung fanfic #jisung fanfic

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astaroth1357 · 4 years ago

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Demon Brothers First Dates!

The fluff levels are reaching new heights… I might have to write some angst pretty soon to reset my palette. Get any more saccharine and I’m going to end up writing Sunday school specials... 🙄 If anyone has any darker suggestions, hit me up.

Check out the Masterlist for more!

Lucifer

Wanna bet that he’s going to shower them luxury for the evening? The Avatar of Pride doesn’t settle for anything less than utterly obliterating what his competition could offer.

Spending money like Mammon if he won the lottery. Usually he’d be less flippant about price tags, but he needs to seem like he’s on top of the world tonight. His ego’s on the line after all.

Not above asking the MC if there’s any place in the world, Devildom or human, they’d like to see and just taking them there. No objections accepted. You want go to Paris? Then we dine in Paris, get your coat.

Gifts. Gifts. Gifts gifts gifts. Nice ones. Very shiny. Big gifts make them feel special and remind them of him when they see/use them. Better get that subliminal messaging started ASAP. They are his.

Engaging dining conversation, but may bring up work/Diavolo/or the Devildom more often than not. Man just can’t stop thinking like he’s on the job sometimes...

All the brothers would kill to know what happened/what was said but he forbids them from saying anything about it. The night can stay just between them.

Mammon

It is going to go wrong. Somehow, in some way, it will blow up in his face spectacularly. But this is still Mammon we’re talking about so it’s probably going to be a fun ride regardless.

Go to the casino, lose everything, and run like hell from angry employees after causing a scene? That’s on the table. Trying to have a romantic night, getting crashed by some XYZ person who he owes money to, then going through shenanigans to try and avoid them? Equally likely. Things just not working properly to catastrophic levels? Like it’s etched into fate itself.

No matter what trouble follows this boy everywhere. You ride with him, you ought to be down for that. But if chaos is the MC’s domain or they just like to collect funny stories, it will probably be a great time! At least in hindsight, anyway.

He’s not particularly romantic, but will be generally up for doing right about anything that the MC wants to do within reason (of course, he’s a pushover too). He probably doesn’t have a plan before they go and may just wing it based on how they’re feeling and what’s available.

Considering there is no way the date will end in the same state it started, though, maybe no plan is the best plan. Just enjoy the ride.

Leviathan

Honestly lowkey thought that all those times they would play games together/watch marathons were dates so oof. Poor boy doesn’t even know how behind he is.

Once he’s aware that no, Mario Kart does not qualify as a date night, he will try to think of things that do but mostly still in or around the House.

He might suggest the kind of cheesy things he’s picked up from his mangas/dating games. He'll try them earnestly so it would still be a sweet time.

It’s going to take some insane “Love-Sex-Magic” to actually get this guy to plan a date that goes outside of his comfort zone (i.e. in the real world). He must be either head over heels or one of his brothers challenged him to pull it off. No matter what, it’s not going to be his first choice.

If he had to think of something, it would somehow be water-based because that’s the only other thing he’s going to cling to when he can’t be in his safe space.

A beach date would actually be perfect for him. He could show off his swimming skills, make a sand suclpture with them, and introduce them to Lotan! He won’t bite, er... as long as he’s around? Probably?

Satan

Want some old-fashioned romance? This is your guy. Satan sees love like it’s out of a romance novel so make of that what you will.

Ever polite and downright princely at times. You’d never know that he was the Avatar of Wrath until things just stop going to plan or some poor waiter tries to sass him...

The kind of guy to go for dates to an art gallery or an out-of-the-way coffee shop. Some place quiet where the main focus is on conversation or intellectual discussion. But, oh, he doesn’t just want to talk. He wants to learn and the subject is MC.

Won’t settle for small talk but isn’t looking for a life’s story either. He wants thoughts, opinions, and knowledge. What do they think of the Devildom? His brothers? How do things there compare to the human world? What’s it like there? Etc., etc.

If there is anything that they’re particularly skilled/knowledgeable in then he wants to know all about it. Lowkey sapiosexual vibes. Smarts are a turn on.

Would honestly be okay going to almost anywhere as long as he’s with them and can enjoy their conversation. Expect traditional romantic elements like flowers and candles, but really it’s the mind he’s after.

Asmodeus

He wants to Show. Them. Off! If they’re on a date then the world has to hear about it. He just thinks they’re that amazing!

Need help getting dressed for the occasion? He’s got them covered! He doesn’t see any issue in couples shopping, dressing, makeup… other things...

Yeah, they better keep a leash on this one or they may miss a reservation or three.

Knows all the best places in the Devildom like the back of his hand. Want to go dancing? He’s a regular at all the clubs. Want good drinks? He knows five places for that already. Great food? Babe, he’s second only to Beel in that department too!

Will spend the whole evening being very attentive and making sure they’re comfortable and having fun. The man loves seeing smiles, especially the ones he causes!

Okay. We all know where he ideally would like the date to end *cough*the bedroom*cough* but won’t pressure the matter… any more than usual. But oh would he be happy if it got there. And he’d make sure they’re happy too. 😏

Beelzebub

They’re going to eat and they’re going to eat WELL.

We’re talking a spread fit for royalty because he would totally ask Diavolo if he could borrow Barbatos for the evening. Food from the best chef in the Devildom and time alone with the MC for a night? Talk about a spot of heaven in literal Hell!

Of course, his thoughts aren’t only on his own stomach. He genuinely wants them to have a good time too.

Will probably take them to their favorite places in the Devildom or any places where they share good memories together. He wants to remind them of just how happy they make him as much as possible.

A lot of closeness the whole night: hand holding, hugs, and cuddles. It’s not for any possessive or territorial reason, he just likes having them close in that comforting sort of way.

He’s not exactly a deep conversationalist, but he’ll make up for it in actions and just the amount of heart he puts in the few things he says. Oh, he’s one of the best listeners on the planet though so the night doesn’t have to be quiet on their end.

Belphegor

You’d think he’d be too lazy to plan a date but not so. It actually takes a lot of planning to find a way to completely ditch his brothers without any of them knowing/finding out. Even Beel has to be out of the loop.

Wherever they’re going, he wants it to be just the two of them and stay that way. It’d take just one run in with Mammon or Asmo for them to gain a tag along that Just. Won’t. Leave.

Like Satan, he prefers quieter places but that’s just because he hates being in noisy environments. He’ll go for places that may not have a lot going on, but are visually quite stunning like the botanical gardens or rooftop views.

Expect a picnic, maybe a little stargazing. He probably already knows some pretty peaceful places in the Devildom that he uses just to get some space from his brothers.

If he’s going to sleep during the date, he’ll either make sure it’s okay first or it will be an honest accident. He won’t just pass out on them to be a troll for once.

Maaay try to get them to take a nap with him. Straight up sleeping might be considered an odd date activity, but really it’s an excuse to hold them as close as he wants with no interruptions. Be careful, or he might hold them there all night.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #the fluff is reaching critical mass

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riverscyberwife · 3 years ago

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The First Time She Met Daryl Dixon

Part of the 'Call Me 'Darling'' Series

(Daryl Dixon x unnamed female character)

The first time she met Daryl Dixon was not pleasant.

“Fucking Shit!”

It wasn’t long after the fall. The time of indescribable horrors. The day the dead began to walk the earth.

“You useless shit” a feminine voice rang out in exasperation, met only by the greenery that surrounded. Tears pricked at frustrated eyes as small, dirty fists beat aimlessly at the soft earth beneath. The roots of a nearby tree grazed along knuckles, breaking the skin there. An unintentional hiss left trembling lips as sad eyes observed the fresh blood appearing.

She had found herself alone in a dense wood somewhere near farmland in Georgia, drifting aimlessly, no destination in mind. Attention on the songs of the wild birds. The music of the forest being the only company had in days.

In dazed wandering, clumsy feet had met a large tree root protruding rather rudely from the ground. It met her right foot violently, causing herself to stumble harshly while holding the appendage prisoner. The attached ankle twisted painfully as her warn body was thrown forward and forced to spin, landing unceremoniously on her obnoxiously generous behind.

An advantage only when the clumsy feet betrayed her. Something that happened more often than her ego would like to admit.

A glare that could almost kill, along with some less than lady-like language was aimed at the battered ankle. It lay life-less and throbbing next to the offending root, almost mocking with its silence.

A twig snapped far too near for comfort. A rustling of leaves alerting to a nearby presence. In such a vulnerable position, the woman mentally chastised herself for becoming too distracted to hear the oncoming intruder. Almost definitely one of those undead fucks stumbling across a yummy young lady laid out like a buffet.

Her head whipped around to peer behind with enough force to cause the joints of her neck to let out a crack. A sound that went unnoticed as a sharp gaze found a man staring at the crumpled heap she currently was. He seemed alive enough as he pointed an intimidatingly large weapon at her head.

Is that a crossbow? The thought shot through her mind before returning swiftly to the danger that was presented. It wasn’t something you’d ever expect to see in real life, let alone have pointed at you. Far more intimidating than a gun it seemed due to its unexpectedness.

The man holding the weapon was rugged. Short brown hair and clothes had seen better days. Gaze locked with the most vibrant blue eyes. An intense silent battle taking place between said eyes and her own.

“Ya kiss yer mother with tha’ mouth?” His voice was gruff. Deeper than expected. It held a soothing quality even in its accusing tone.

“Not if she was alive” A deadpan tone returned, eyes narrowed as the gaze turned cold. He only grunted in response. A shiver ran unexpectedly down her spine. Probably just caused by the very pointy stick he had ready to be catapulted through her skull.

“What are ya doin’ round here?” he questioned more aggressively this time. The hints of playfulness had disappeared. This man meant business and she didn’t doubt he would shoot her with the intimidating weapon if he felt the need to.

“I’m having a teddy bears picnic, can’t you tell?” An overly sweet voice quipped back unwisely. Suspicious eyes only narrowed in return as the grip seemed to tighten on the bow.

“Okay” A tired sigh left dry lips. “I was just wandering, looking for her next meal and place to sleep. I fell over this damn tree”. Trying not to feel embarrassed by the statement, her gaze wandered the muscular upper arms visible due to the missing sleeves that seemed to have been forcefully ripped away.

“I take it by your defensiveness that your camp is near here” she queried. “Don’t worry, I won’t go near it.”

“Better not. Now get outta here before it ain’t a choice.”

Eyes rolled at his threat. “Not very welcoming are you?” The question was met only by silence.

“Fine, I’m going.” She stated as weak arms pushed herself to her feet, forcing the rapidly bruising ankle to take the weight. Attempting to ignore the pain in refusal to look weak in front of this rude man. The backpack that slid from aching shoulders during the fall was slung back into place and the dagger that had saved her life numerous times secured in a determined grip.

“Nice to meet you” her defeated voice rang sarcastically before turning and limping away as fast as able.

“Asshole”

---------------

Many months passed without a thought about the rugged man. Surviving alone could be very distracting after all. Jumping from abandoned house to worse smelling abandoned house with the hopes of a safe nights rest. Never knowing where the next meal would come from or even if there would be a next meal.

The weight dropped off at a concerning rate. Concerning only because there was a good chance of being eaten by the dead because her trousers fell down. What a way to go. She died as she lived. Falling over.

Eyes raked over the forest floor in search of life. Trusted dagger held securely in her dominant hand, poised ready to strike should dinner appear suddenly. An unexpected commotion seemed to begin somewhere to the left. Ears guiding rushing feet towards the sound in hopes of a large animal to catch. The grumbling of her stomach agreeing with the silent statement.

Upon the arrival at the scene, crouched down behind a shrub, her small body was easily hidden by the undergrowth. In immediate sight was the back of a man. Keen eyes would not have recognised him so immediately if not for the missing sleeves on the dirty brown shirt. He was facing off with four of the dead. A knife raised high in his right hand seemed to be his only weapon. A glance to the side revealed the crossbow a few feet away. Far less intimidating when not pointed at ones head.

Logic said he couldn’t reload the damn thing in time to shoot the fuckers one by one. She however had not been spotted by the dead and was only about 3 feet from the weapon.

Daryl began to panic as what felt like a never ending amount of walkers came at him. He couldn’t kill them all at once and his knife wasn’t doing much good. He’d resorted to desperately shoving them backwards.

The walker directly in front of him was big, standing at least 6 foot tall and charging with a purpose. It managed to knock him to the ground, the snapping jaws aiming to rip Daryl’s face cleanly away. It was prevented only by an increasingly weakening forearm to its neck.

Thick black blood oozed from the tear in its jugular, dripping grotesquely onto its struggling prays jaw and throat. Should Daryl open his mouth he’d be treated to a very unfortunate final meal.

‘This is it’ thought Daryl as he frantically felt around for the fallen blade. ‘I’m gonna fuckin’ die.’

Daryl’s rapidly beating heart seemed to stop dead as a bolt from HIS crossbow shot through the top of the walkers head to protrude from the now permanently dead man’s mouth. The sharp tip pointed directly between sky coloured eyes.

With a confused sigh, his head leant back to peer behind at the crossbow which lay exactly where he had left it. The unsightly corpse was shoved unceremoniously off of the hunter as he realised suddenly that there were no walkers after him.

It took a few seconds to come to his senses as he observed the 3 other walkers already dead on the ground nearby. Steely eyes flickered up to the small woman standing a few feet away, casually wiping a bloody knife on a large leaf. Confusion only grew as he stared at the calm woman who acted like nothing out of the ordinary had happened. A look of boredom on her face.

Smug eyes flickered to the side where the rugged man still sat stunned on the ground. An involuntary smirk forced its way onto her face. It was so difficult to keep the bored look when the handsome mans jaw was practically on the floor.

“What’s your name, sweetheart?” This seemed to snap him out of his daze. His mouth clamped shut audibly as an irritated expression took over.

“Daryl” was all he said as he made his way slowly to unsteady feet.

“Well Daryl” she chimed nonchalantly “You’re welcome” before turning and once again walking away from the shocked man.

---------------

Most nights she dreamt of the undead. Snapping jaws, inches from her face. Dirty, broken nails on rotted flesh, grabbing at her skin. Thick black blood filling her mouth and claiming her lungs.

Sometimes she would dream of family. The life lived before. Laughing faces and sweet smiles. Little girls with pigtails and pink dresses. School days sat on the grass in the sun. Underage drinking in the park. Splashing in the cold sea. Golden sand between painted toes. Faces not seen in years.

And sometimes she would dream of the most beautifully pure blue eyes. Those eyes were the most haunting.

Stayed local to the area, familiar terrain was an advantage. It was only a matter of time until she stumbled across it. The prison. The opposing grey buildings would have been of little interest had it not been for the suspicious lack of dead ones.

Upon closer inspection there appeared to be crops growing in the grounds. A variety of luscious plants living in neat rows. Every so often a mop of brown hair would appear within the greenery. A slender teenage boy who tended the food.

Witnessing silently from the branch of a nearby tree, never daring to make a noise or risk being seen. People were after all, dangerous.

Many others appeared within sight in the hours observed. Some seemed to be on lookout. Some pierced the skulls of dead ones through the fence. Many simply socialised and basked in the sun. Although not terribly interesting, it was the most entertainment had in weeks. Quite like a trip to the zoo, watching them in their natural habitat. There seemed to be little of concern and just as the tired woman considered slipping away to find her own refuge for the night came the startlingly loud rumble of engine.

--------------

Far louder than that of a car, approaching the fence that opened in entrance to the structure was a motor bike. Another thing unexpected at the end of the world. The more shocking factor however being the slim figure and mop of brown hair that sat astride. The fear-provoking weapon strapped to a wing adorned back. Her rugged man.

Any idiot with half a brain would know not to approach the prison alone unless they desired an arrow through the head. But there was something about this man. The incessant need to see him again. To hear the drawl of his voice. To see that pretty face up close even in the snarl that was sure to be aimed at her. Luckily, Mr Dixon, hunter and gatherer extraordinaire didn’t seem to spend that much time in the prison. The outdoors suited him far better.

Daryl treaded stealthily through the thicket, bow aimed low and eyes alert. His ears strained in search of a living creature. He swore his heart leapt from his chest at the sudden noise slightly behind and above him. Startled feet spun so fast he stumbled.

“I like your hair. Suits you”

The feminine voice presented no unease due to the deadly weapon pointed directly at the source. A raised eyebrow prompted Daryl to lower the thing before accidentally shooting.

“Bloody ‘ell woman, where’d ya come from?”

“Bit of a personal question. Don’t you think? You don’t even know my name yet” the voice quipped with a smile. Feet landing gracefully on the ground in front of the alarmed man as she dropped from the low branch.

Daryl grumbled, dropping his eyes which only caused her grin to widen.

“What’s yer name then?”

“Can’t tell you that. Stranger danger.”

“Think yer the only danger ‘round ‘ere.”

“You think too highly of me, Darling.” Lips smirked as light fingers gently raised Daryl’s chin to meet devious eyes.

His shining orbs widened comically at the gesture. “Darlin’?!”

The outraged tone of the statement served to strengthen the ever present accent.

“Oh I do like that.” Smirk turned to a full grin. “Call me Darling.

----------

They couldn’t seem to keep away from each other. Well she couldn’t keep away from him anyway. He’d always go in search of food and the menace would always appear seemingly by magic. She intrigued the man and she knew it. The way his eyes followed her form was like he wanted to figure her out. Solve her like a walking puzzle.

She craved his voice. It soothed something inside her. Somehow made the state of the world forgettable. Hours were spent together without notice. He didn’t speak much but he always listened intently and usually had a smart remark to counter her regular jabs. Teasing Daryl Dixon was always her favourite part of the day.

He never asked where she was going, was staying or why she was always alone. He didn’t seem to want to burst the secret little bubble they’d made for themselves. Something both were happy to keep intact as curious eyes secretly watched the prison.

It was getting progressively more difficult to live alone in the wild. When Daryl went back to his cosy home with his friends at the end of the day her tasks were to go in search of food and a place to rest her head. She would never confess her struggles. He would want to help and her pride wouldn’t allow it.

At her lowest she found herself slumped in a corner of a dingy old house, curling in on herself. The small fire haphazardly made almost burnt out, the strength to go in search of more kindling evaded the weak woman.

Just as she hadn’t seen the face of her favourite person, her body hadn’t seen water in days. Food even longer. If this was how she was to go out then so be it. She’d survived this long alone and that’s all that mattered.

Her vision swam as black spots appeared. There was no control left of her body as it slumped sideways, striking her head against the wooden floorboards as unconsciousness consumed entirely.

---------------

Daryl panicked when she wasn’t at the usual spot. She was always there when he went to hunt. He had no idea how she knew when to find him but she did. He often questioned if she was real. This mysterious girl that no one else had ever seen could so easily be part of his imagination.

He remembered how Rick had seen Lori for so long after her death. He’d spent so much time alone out in the woods that it wouldn’t surprise him if his mind had made up the annoying woman that he couldn’t stay away from. No, she had to be real. Even Daryl’s mind couldn’t tease him like she did.

He began by wandering in the direction he had last seen her go as they parted, knowing there was a nearby town that could offer some food and protection. As gravel crunched beneath old boots in place of the usual dirt and neglected buildings began to rise on either side of the man, it became clear that the area was empty. Motionless walker bodies lay scattered around, each seemingly had received a knife through the head.

The smell was overpowering as the hunter contemplated why they hadn’t been burned. Perhaps she was only passing through. Perhaps she simply didn’t have the strength.

Tracks were clearly visible all through the town. Mostly bloody, they led into every single building. Daryl sighed. He was sure by the small stature of the print that they were hers. The woman that so desperately clung to his mind had clearly been here. Yet he had a feeling she was still here. She wouldn’t just leave him, would she?

Daryl could almost hear Merle’s voice echoing in his head, calling him a whipped little bitch. He scowled at the thought but just couldn’t stop. What if something had happened to her?

----------

Sharp eyes scanning the area, he could clearly visualise the woman clearing the place, killing walkers and scavenging for the food. His eyes drifted to the last house to the left. The windows were boarded and the door was shut. A trap lay set in front of the building. It was clearly the most secure place. His feet carried him almost involuntarily towards it. Towards her.

White light pierces blackness. Heart beat rising. Blood rushes ears. Footsteps sound a million miles away.

Gentle knuckles brush cheeks. Rough fingers press pulse point. Fluttering eyelashes attempt in vain to open.

The earth tilts sickeningly as her body is forced into sitting position. The sound of ringing slowly transitions to the calling of her name. The familiar voice causing an upturn of lips. Her rugged saviour.

Cold liquid is raised to parched mouth. Gulped down greedily without thought. Hands fly to grab the bottle. The best water ever tasted. An appreciative groan as eyelids are forced to rise. Blurred vision soon clears to reveal shaggy brown hair that begs to be touched.

His name leaves her lips in struggled whisper. His eyes are hard with judgment and underlying concern.

“Why the hell didn’ ya tell me?” some form of food is held to her chin.

She doesn’t take not what as her eyes shift away in shame and her arm weekly brushes it away.

“I don’t want your food”

“Well ya clearly need it. Ya look like hell.” His teeth grind in annoyance at the usually stubborn girl. Her head shakes in response, causing the black spots to momentarily return.

“I don’t need saving, Prince Charming.” He guffaws at the name.

“I aint no prince, nor ‘nything charmin’.”

She needed him gone. She couldn’t bear the look of pity in his eyes. The worry on his features. She wasn’t anyone’s problem.

“You shouldn’t be here. Just go back to your damn prison. The irritation clear in her voice. Almost missing the way his vibrant eyes widened.

Shit. She realised her mistake a split second too late.

“How the fuck do you ya know ‘bout tha’?” She’d never heard him sound so angry and even a little scared. Knowing full well that if they found she knew about their home that they wouldn’t just leave her alone. She was dangerous to them.

Nervous eyes flicker everywhere but at the face that stared her down.

“I’ve been watching. Had to know if you were dangerous.”

“An ya didn’ tell me”

“Would you have let me go?” It was Daryl’s turn to look away in shame.

“Nah. Would have to tell ‘em ‘bout ya” He sighed defeated.

“Exactly.” Their eyes clashed in a battle of wills, silently debating what would happen next. After a beat, his eyes shined in a way that determined a decision had been made.

“Yer comin’ with me” He stated assertively.

“No” she countered plainly, offering little room for argument.

“Wasn’ askin’.” Before further refusal could leave her, strong arms surrounded her. He rose to his feet, cradling the surprised woman to his chest. Her bag hanging from his right hand where it curled around her knees.

Her malnourished body was slow to react. Sluggishly moving to press at his firm chest in protest. He easily made his way out of the house and to the far end of the street where the bike sat undisturbed.

The fresh air aided in clearing her senses. The situation she was in becoming evident to her irritated mind.

Gently set down on the leather seat, she was released from the sure grip.

“Fine.” A resigned smile as the cogs of her mind began to spin. “I’ve got another bag though. Brown satchel. Must still be in the lounge.”

He nodded. “Alright, I’ll be right back. Don’ move.” Turning and jogging back into the house.

The moment his right foot made it over the threshold, the loud roar of the bike engine caused his heart to sink.

“Son of a bitch!” Fast feet threw him back out the door and half way down the street but it was too late. His mysterious girl was gone and so was his bike. A lone bag lay in the spot it had previously been in. His own bag containing the water and food he had offered her.

The walk back to the prison was long, made worse by Daryl’s rising anger. Refusing to interact with anyone upon his return, he had his way into the empty cell where he refused to sleep but went to for privacy. Throwing himself down onto the lumpy mattress, he glared at the underneath of the top bunk. His mind swirling with images of her devious smirk.

---------------

Two days later he was woken at the ass crack of dawn by Glenn frantically calling his name. As the sun had appeared over the horizon so had his bike, propped up on its stand just outside the gate. Next to it lay a cardboard box full of baby formula as an apology.

Daryl of course went looking for her, but she no longer appeared. Weeks were spent without a trace of her until another box of formula appeared outside the gates in the dead of night. Sat atop this one was a small stuffed elephant, the perfect size for little ass kicker. Soft and clean as if straight from a baby shop.

Next to it a small piece of paper. In loopy handwriting it read ‘Stop looking for me, darling. It makes me miss you more.’

He thinks he can let her go. Thinks he can carry on living. Barely thinking of her during the busy days but she appears in his dreams. Reliving the sweetest moments between them behind closed eyelids.

“Come back with me.” His sombre voice breaks the silence.

They had somehow ended up leaning against a railing on the edge of a rooftop. Forearms against cold metal, they basked in the glow of a setting sun. Features basked in orange light, he watched her shyly.

They both knew that they should retreat to safety before darkness fell but neither could bring themselves to leave the others company. Peace consumed them as they absorbed the view laid before them like a renaissance painting.

Her head tilted as her eyes searched his face contemplatively.

“Ya always leave me.” His dejected words caused an ache in her chest.

“Why won’ ya stay with me” He asks earnestly.

“I can’t” Eyes cast downward at the sudden urge to shed a tear.

“Why? They’re good people. Rick an’ Carol an’ lil ass-kicker...” His fists clench as the unfamiliar emotions stir within him. His stare fixed on the setting sun.

“Exactly. You’re a family. I don’t belong there. I can’t. I can’t lose anyone else.” Her eyes squeeze shut as pain consumes her.

“So I don’ mean nothin’ to ya?” His voice strains.

“You shouldn’t” Her voice is a soft whisper.

His head turns to question her answer but she’s already gone.

“Darlin’?”

He’s woken suddenly by the sound of Judith’s cries. Greeted only by the sight of the bunk above him. He decides he’s going to find her. He has to.

But he doesn’t. Because soon enough the sounds of gunfire and screams is all that’s heard as the prison falls.

A/N - Here it is, the first thing I've ever written recreationally. It was so much for difficult than i expected. I feel like i'm handing over a steaming pile of rubbish but here you go! I hope you enjoy.

@pandorahurtsx @winchestershiresauce @sunflxwerbullet @holliss @haruhey @lilythemadqueen @dixonextracts @daryloverdixon

#Daryl Dixon #daryl x reader #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl x y/n

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sweetescapeartist · 3 years ago

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DBS COLORING BOOK CHAPTER 74 REVIEW

*spoilers* I liked this chapter in isolation.

*spoilery spoilers* I dislike this chapter when comparing it to other chapters.

Here's the battle Vegeta fans have been waiting for...! (Glad I lowered my greatly expectations)

First, let's talk about use of panels real quick. When there is action, Toyo has done better and uses about 6 panels max to convey the fight. But when there is dialogue, he uses too many panels. Like 7 to 9 panels on one page. That is too much for dialogue. And he has pointless reaction shots often.

It begins with the axolotl inspired Sugarians leaving their fishbowl homes through cleaning-tube roadways. I like their aquarium-like city and their buildings.

And here we are on page 2 with the Toyotaro dialogue. 😒 How can I tell? Compare it to Dragon Ball and you can easily tell the difference between Toriyama's dialogue & Toyotaro's dialogue. (Toriyama has been more focused with working on the DBS movies. I highly doubt he contributes as much to the manga as some fans believe.)

Vegeta sounds like Mr. Satan when calling fusion and cloning "tricks" lol. And no, I doubt Vegeta's Forced Spirit Fission would work on Granolah. Granolah split himself in 2 with a technique. It is still all Granolah & he hasn't absorbed anyone. Forced Spirit Fission is useless here.

Granolah sure is chatty again after he kept saying how he really really wants to kill these Saiyans. Vegeta tells him he parted ways with Freeza and he is an enemy now, as to which Granolah laughs. Granolah thinks Vegeta is betraying Freeza to spare his own life. This just let's us know what kind of person Granolah is...

Granolah is a nonsensical idiot who doesn't know how to reason well & doesn't listen to truth because he assumes he is already right. I don't like ppl like him who refuse to grow mentally. I went from liking Granolah, to not caring about his bland personality, to disliking him. 😑

Oatmeel's input is pointless because he doesn't sway Granolah into believing the Saiyans may not be lying. He quickly gives up and becomes quiet. Vegeta informs Granolah that he was a child when Planet Cereal's ppl were killed and wasn't part of the attack. But he doesn't care and Paragus wants revenge against the royal family... I mean, Baby wants revenge on all Saiya... Granolah wants to kill all Saiyans.

Then we get Vegeta saying he will kill Granolah after barely talking to the guy who was willing to talk. I guess Vegeta just wants to fight and test his power instead of trying to redeem himself like earlier chapters implied and fans theorized. Throw that out the window.

He turns SSB Evolution & Hakai's large rocks around Granolah. But Granolah appears behind him and shows Vegeta true hakai. He elevates a big chunk of the ground & blows it up then the force pushes Vegeta to him and Granolah strikes him. Cool way to use the environment in battle.

Also, Granolah knows Hakai. He shows it off by using his own more powerful Hakai & suggests Vegeta's training with Beerus is lacking.

There is some cool looking art. Their fight moves from forest to river to lake. Interesting environment s for DB. Reminds me of the Cooler movie and the fights on Namek a bit.

This entire time, Vegeta is on the defensive and has to run. But, I find pages 16-21 silly.

Why is Vegeta swimming when he can fly through the water?! Swimming is slower & Granolah is firing fast ki blasts at him!

YOU: "But, Vegeta is swimming so Granolah can't detect his ki."

Granolah can see him! His right eye is supposed to see blood flow and stuff. He nearly hits him multiple times. And lets not forget he was sniping them long distance and his Goku in the neck and almost took him out. Why does Granolah need aim assist now? I'll tell ya why. To make Vegeta look more impressive than Goku by making Goku look like a poor fighter. And this was a Goku who was using Ultra Instinct and still got messed up by Granolah while Vegeta is just using SSB Evolution. Character sabotage... 😒

Back to my complaints about Vegeta swimming. The swimmin' would work in OG Dragon Ball but not here. It would work on Namek with Freeza who can't sense ki, but not here with Granolah who can sense ki (& maybe even god ki) & his eye can percieve all kinds of movements of the body.

And why does Vegeta momentarily pop up out the water then go hide back into it? Don't say its 'cause he needs to catch his breath. He aparently did training holding his breath while on the Heeter's ship, so he should be fine holding his breath. It was for a short period of time anyways. It just doesn't fit and is unnecessary in multiple ways.

Vegeta Hakai's Granolah's big blast to escape it and it blows him out of the water. Interesting kinda... Until you realize that Vegeta's training that we were shown was lame. He just Hakai'd logs & rocks! It should've shown him trying to Hakai ki blasts from Beerus. Make his training look cool darn it!

Chapter 70 Established that Hakai has changed. It no longer is just erasing things from existence in different ways. It has to have a *boom* explosion to it. So when Beerus Hakai'd Zamasu in chapter 19, there should've been an explosion instead of turning him into sand? So, now whenever the Hakai is used, there will always be an explosion...? I don't like how Toyo is quick to change what he set up just for his convenience...

Granolah brags about himself then Vegeta brags about himself-...! That's why I dislike Granolah! He's just like Vegeta! Maybe if I stop thinking of Granolah as a "good guy" then he will be cooler? I did like evil Vegeta as an evil character. We were supposed to hate him. So, if I imagine Granolah as an evil Vegeta... It worked! Granolah's unappealing attitude works perfectly if you view him as an evil enemy! (Still kinda preachy tho)

VEGETA: "But I'm still going to win."

Vegeta fans rejoice! Your prayers have been answered by the great Zalama! Vegeta announced victory...! Wait... I've seen this before... Yo... Vegeta fans, prepare for Vegeta to be defeated just in case. He has a record of announcing victory then ultimately losing. Don't get your hopes up too high.

Lol Granolah disses Vegeta's ego 👌. But Granolah is unknowingly talking about himself too XD. Dummies. Vegeta mocks him by calling him "Mr. Strongest" & Granolah has nothing to day. Granolah can dish it out but can't take it.

Goku wakes up and sees Vegeta fighting Granolah. Who cares? How are you gonna be caught off gaurd in a form that reacts on its own? Go back to sleep. I'm not mad at you, Goku. I'm just disappointed.

Vegeta fires a barrage of ki at Granolah and Granolah Hakai's them. Then Vegeta fools Ganolah into destroying an ancient city of the Cerelians.

VEGETA: "I can tell, you know... That you only recently acquired this absurd strength."

GRANOLAH: "How? How can you tell?"

VEGETA: "Thank you for confirming."

There's the Granolah we know. Quick to give out valuable info. Also, this is to make Vegeta appear "smarter" & a "better fighter" than Goku. Realistically, a master martial artist like Goku would be first to notice that Granolah recently acquired this kind of power. But, Goku is being dumbed down for Vegeta's sake.

VEGETA: "Need I repeat myself...? You may be stronger but... there's no gaurantee that I'll lose to you!" *attempts to break Granolah's leg*

So says the guy who always loses unless the opponent is weaker than him. But, he even lost to weaker opponents on Earth before, so....

Vegeta fans calm down, calm down. This is basic Vegeta dribble. Let's be real. When has Vegeta ever defeated an opponent that was stronger than himself? Never. When has Vegeta become stronger than his opponent and defeat them because they're weaker than him now? Always. Does Vegeta ever win when he is too cocky? Nope. This is to hype y'all up. Don't be mad if he loses. Y'all know this routine. The arc ain't even over so the chances of him winning are low.

Now let's examine Vegeta's fight in comparison to Goku's fight.

Goku goes through all his forms & uses Ultra Instinct in base, SSJ, SSG, SSB, & then goes silver haired UI when fighting Granolah. Then, he loses in every form. Vegeta goes straight to Blue Evolution and only seriously gets hurt once.

Goku keeps getting hit despite having a technique that is all about evasion. Vegeta gets hit far less & doesn't have Ultra Instinct.

Goku was struggling to fight a clone that was half the power of Granolah. Vegeta fights Granolah at his full power and struggles less.

Goku complains about his training and how he is struggling using his technique. Vegeta who had less time with Hakai training isn't complaining about struggling with Hakai.

Goku far surpassed Vegeta in the Moro arc, yet they are crippling Goku to let Vegeta catch up & make him look better. Vegeta has literally gotten a handout that he didnt have to work hard for in order to catch up with Goku... This chapter is fine when isolated and you aren't thinking about any other previous chapter. But, it is a convoluted mess when you look back at the previous chapters, the piss poor storytelling, & Vegeta's poor Hakai training that leads up to this chapter.

Where'd that "heroic" Vegeta and that "redemption" stuff go? Its as if Toyotaro decided he should stop tying to make Vegeta the hero & main character instead of Goku being the main. (Thank God.)

But... Vegeta says that he loves fights that are unpredictable?? That I disagree completely with. Vegeta wants fights to go in his favor through all of DBZ and will throw a fit when it doesn't.

In RoF: it was going in his favor so he loved it.

Destroyer Tournament arc: he didn't like that things didn't go his way in the end.

Future Trunks arc: he was upset when losing to Black, but loved it when he thought he was going to win.

ToP: angry when everyone else surpassed him, happy when he gained an upperhand, upset when he lost the upperhand.

Moro arc: Vegeta is upset that Moro is stronger but even more upset that Goku is stronger than him. When he is stronger than Moro he is loving it. Then when he loses the advantage, he is upset.

Vegeta doesn't love unpredictable fights, Goku does! Vegeta loves predictable fights in his favor.

Granolah asks how many lives were sacrificed for Vegeta's carnage. Vegeta doesn't answer. Why? Because its best to ignore the fact that he has killed billions of ppl so that Vegeta fans can ignore his bad actions (Yet many say that Vegeta has developed so much without acknowledging his terrible past). Can't have Vegeta looking like a bad guy in this chapter, right?

Oh boy! Page 37 is more "Vegeta hype!" He doesn't care about strongest or second strongest ('cause he has never been 1st place) & he basically explains Dragon Ball to us.

Roshi already taught Goku & Krillin that there will always be somebody stronger, so they need to keep reaching higher and higher.

If Vegeta is stronger than he was a few minutes ago, would that mean the same for Goku when he was fighting? Why did he perform so poorly? I wonder... 🤔

Granolah jabs Vegeta in the stomach, but Vegeta manages to slow it down (how come Goku using Ultra Instinct couldn't do that?). And cool. Blood. Anime has better writing and cool character development/moments. The manga has blood... Well, I guess blood is cooler to some ppl.

Vegeta is looking like Goku in the ToP before he attained UI. He has his head down & all. Vegeta just isn't talking about hownl much he sucks. Why does Goku keep insulting himself? N-nevermind. This is about Vegeta who keeps complimenting himself.

Why did Granolah become scared of Vegeta suddenly? Wouldn't he just see him as a mad dog and use his amazing power to put Vegeta down before he can do anything? He hates them so much, but keeps letting them live.

Uh oh... Vegeta doesn't like protecting and saving? BuT I tHoUgHt hE wAs a hErO! Where is his development going?? Ya mean the real development he had in the anime or the pseudo development in the manga?

But even after saying all that... I prefer manga Vegeta to be like this instead of a wannabe hero. Wannabe hero doesn't fit. This feels like Vegeta is in character again. I like this. I was just criticizing how Vegeta was written in past chapters in comparison to this one. A more chill Vegeta who loves battles? This is what I've wanted from DBS manga Vegeta for a long time!

Oh snap! Vegeta's transforming? I wonder what it will look like (thanks for the warning from the leaks 👍). Oil... Why are you even in this chapter? We don't care about you right now & you're boring without Maki. Goku says it ain't "any old god ki."

I wonder how Goku never knew about this new form if he and Vegeta trained on Beerus Planet together. Ya think he would've sensed and saw it & even wanted to fight against it.

So is this new form a spur of the moment thing? So Vegeta has a new form that he never trained... And he asks if Granolah has been training his new power on page 34... Sounds hypocritical of Vegeta, or he is being thrown a bone to make him look capable. Is Vegeta gonna pull a Golden Freeza by not training this new form? Or maybe a UI Goku at the ToP and lose the form?

Page 43, Granolah shoots tiny ki blasts at Vegeta's tower of flaming ki and he is surprised it did nothing. Why not try again but this time use that one big blast instead. No? Gonna let the guy of the race you hate finish transforming? Just gonna be scared and shocked to make Vegeta look impressive? Ok.

Pages 41, 44, & 45

Oh! Here it is! The new form...! Aaaand I still don't like it. Also, he healed up like Goku did last chapter too. Odd. Why does transforming heal them now? Didn't before.

No build up to make the form more cool, it's just

"Here, Vegeta. Goku has one more form than you do & he has mastered UI, so we can't let you fall too far behind. So I just pulled this crap transformation fresh outa my butt and gave it to you."

Another undeserved handout. Can you please make Vegeta earn a new form in the manga? PLEASE?!

Vegeta looks like he is in his own UI Omen form (like how Vegeta fans begged for Vegeta to get for the longest time). Dark hair with sone lighter coloured higlights, light coloured pupils, new aura. But this is what I see...

SSJ3ROSÉ of DESTRUCTION INSTINCT OMEN (or just "SSJ-ChexMix" for short)

Looks like in the end, Vegeta needed to resort to his own Ultra Instinct equivalent!

Oh no... I criticized Vegeta's bad writing too much! I bet some Vegeta fans are gonna automatically assume that I hate him because I want him to be written better without plotholes! 😱

IN CONCLUSION:

This chapter is good when isolated on its own. But, this chapter is filled with inconsistencies when you look back at previous chapters. Overall, it's... a mixed bag that I barely like. It's just so retarded that Goku had to be dragged through the mud just for Vegeta to look better. That is insulting to Vegeta and it either shows how much he sucks or or how weak the writing for Vegeta is. But we got what we got...

Wanna know how to make Vegeta look good without making Goku look pathetic? Goku never uses MUI! Goku defeats Granolah's clone with SSB. Then, Granolah merges back with his clone & catches SSB Goku by surprise and knocks him out.

Then, the reason why Vegeta seems to be doing better is because Vegeta is using SSBE, unlike SSB Goku who was caught off guard. Why make the MUI form & Goku both look like trash just to give Vegeta his own Ultra (Destructive) Intinct? Is Vegeta really that trash?! 😓😴

I don't wanna see the Heeters anymore. My hype for them died, but maybe a later chapter can make me like them more. Idk.

Where is my homie, Moniato?! 🐌 (BEST CHARACTER OF THE ARC SO FAR!)

Oh yeah...I was supposed to complain about not seeing Freeza again like I do every chapter... Who cares at this point? If Granolah is stronger than Goku & Vegeta, what can Freeza do? Hide for 3 yrs and let Granolah die?

What are my predictions for next chapter? More Vegeta wanking of course. More gloating & looking down on Granolah too. A battle of overinflated egos. Bad dialogue and decent to good art. I'll probably find it mostly boring but I may be surprised (that could be a good or bad thing). Vegeta will appear to be winning before...

Vegeta gets defeated & certain Vegeta fans will rage & be annoying. Those ones will complain about how Vegeta always gets the short end of the deal (that's what he gets for being shorter than Bulma & 12 cm taller than Krillin). This one should happen imo based off of Goku's performance.

Vegeta's fight will get interrupted before the battle ends so that Vegeta fans don't get angry. Make Vegeta fans feel that Vegeta could've won and keep them grasping on to hope. (How manipulative.) This one is most likely to happen to "satisfy" all fans.

Vegeta will win and Vegeta fans will rejoice & some will be very annoying. Despite the fact that he had terrible training, was handed a new form just to stay relevant, and Goku had to underperform & UI had to be nerfed just to make Vegeta look good. This one may happen just to appease Vegeta fans. (That is the worst outcome imo.) If Vegeta gets "a win/a W" against a main villain, make sure his training looks impressive and he has some sort of connection to the main bad guy. That way the victory feels well deserved.

If the final enemy is Freeza, then Vegeta defeating Granolah isn't "a win" against a major villain. Granolah will just be a bump in the road. He's already set up to not be a "bad guy." In the end, the main bad guy will be either Freeza, Gas, 7-3, or someone. Vegeta fans shouldn't care if Vegeta wins or loses against Granolah. He isn't the "final boss."

#dragon ball #dragon ball super #dbs #dbs manga #manga chapter 74 #review #Vegeta #Granolah #Goku #vegeta wanking #wtf toyotaro

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averyhappychainsawhalloween · 4 years ago

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Reverence | Part 3

Thomas Hewitt X You

“Evening Luda Mae, I’m sorry to be so tardy but I fell asleep outside. It’s just so peaceful here.” Your smile is set firmly in place, your voice a practiced tone of girlish ease. You tried to hold onto the way the house made you feel when you woke up but it was becoming harder and harder to grip.

You had spent the rest of the afternoon pulling yourself together. You found a water pumped and washed your face to banish any puffy eyes that might hint that you had been crying. You washed the dust and blood from the cars off your hands and laid down in the grass staring up at the clouds just in case someone happened to see you and call bullshit on your story. You didn’t sleep but you did do a lot of thinking.

Right now you were in a good position. Hoyt, who had a gun and was eager to use it, thought you were too dumb to know what was happening. You had Luda Mae’s protection and Tommy’s favor. You weren’t sure where Uncle Monty stood and while you didn’t want to speak ill of the elderly you didn’t see him as much of a threat.

Hoyt had driven the strangers car to the field with the rest, taking the keys with him. None of the cars had keys in them but even if they did only a couple of them could even dream of running.

It was a near mile from the house to the road, maybe more. You could sneak out but then there just miles of highway in either direction and unless you could hitch a ride they’d be able to find you.

There was no fighting out of this. Hoyt had shot that couple without a second thought and Thomas...

Thomas was a huge man that you had severely underestimated. He’d plucked bodies off the ground like they were nothing, hooking them like they were sides of beef and not people with families with dreams and mothers and...

No there would be no brute force. You’d have to use your mind and you’d have to wait for an opening. So you carried yourself up the porch around sundown with an apologetic blush on your face as you filled into the kitchen.

“Oh honey it’s okay,” Luda Mae said with a wave of her hand.

“In the city I don’t even have a yard, so this is a dream,” you said, taking a seat at the kitchen table. It was a line you had thought of outside and it worked like a charm.

“The country has a lot of things the city don’t. Most people don’t know what they’re missing,” Luda Mae said with a small smile.

You returned the smile, making sure it reached your eyes. Stroke the ego, but not too much. Flatter but not enough to be suspicious. You shifted in your chair, biting down on your bottom lip.

“When will Thomas be done with his work for the day?” you asked. Luda Mae whipped around to look at you, almost surprised by the question. And then her face melted into a knowing smile.

“He was very busy today, it’ll probably be late,” Luda Mae said. You felt bile rise in your throat. Was Tommy downstairs butchering that couple downstairs? You thought of the odd sausage at breakfast and almost gagged. Luda Mae noticed your negative reaction but thankfully misconstrued it. “It’s okay honey, he’s not down there all the time you’ll have your time together.”

“He’ll need dinner. Could I bring it down to him?” you asked, trying to sound eager. The older woman paused, wiping her hands on a dish towel. You pushed further hoping to persuade her. “I won’t get in the way and I won’t distract from his work.”

You searched her face for your answer. If you had Thomas on your side then maybe there was a chance to leave. He was younger, bigger, and stronger than the rest of the people in the house. If he wanted to leave there would be no stopping him. If you had any chance of leaving in one piece it’d have to be with him.

“Okay, but don’t dawdle down there,” Luda Mae finally said. Her lips were in a hard line as if she didn’t entirely believe the choice she made. You jumped up from your chair pulling the woman into an embrace.

“Thank you, Luda Mae!”

You stood at the top of the chairs gripping a cracked dish loaded with potatoes and meat. While Luda Mae had agreed to let you down she still hovered by the doorway as if she might change her mind at any moment. You started down the stairs in the dim basement, hit with the strong damp smell all over again. There were still marks in your ankle from the metal cuff and while the others thought you simple you were not quick to forget.

“Thomas?” you asked as you got down to the landing. The basement was large but cluttered. There were all sorts of things but now you could see their use. Large freezers for meat, metal hooks for hanging their prey, various cutters and saws for breaking through bone.

You had been so close to that destiny and because of Thomas you were still alive. If he could break the rules once he could do it again.

You saw him further down the room under a bare bulb wrapping meat in large swatches of brown paper. With it all cut up and divided it looked like any kind of meat. If you hadn’t seen the couple that afternoon you wouldn’t have had a single idea what it was.

“Thomas?” you called again. His head jerked up and he quickly tossed his work into a freezer and slammed the lid closed. You looked up to the top of the stairs and saw Luda Mae had returned to the kitchen. The two of you were truly alone.

You moved from the end of the stairs deeper in the basement towards the giant of a man.

“I brought you dinner,” you said, your voice soft. He didn’t move to meet you so you walked the entire way over to him. He was standing beside the table you were chained too and the thought of how close you were to being tied up again resonated through your head. You tried to dismiss the thought, bringing your gaze back up to Thomas’ face. He had not seemed frightening in the basement yesterday but now that you’d seen him pierce a man with a meat hook your instincts were telling you to run. You silenced them. He was not running after you.

You pushed the plate out for him to take but Thomas made no move to take it.

“Are you not hungry?” you asked, your head tilting to the side as if you might be able to see under his mask from a different angle. He didn’t answer. You weren’t certain what to do next but Thomas soon decided for you. He gently took the plate from your hand and placed it on the table beside him. He made no move to eat it, instead he stepped forward closing the gap between you.

You held your breath, afraid that even the slightest exhale would frighten him away. Slowly, he raised his hand and carefully placed it on your upper lip tracing the scar there. You relaxed under his touch.

He moves his fingers over your mouth, feeling the flesh beneath his fingertips. He swiped his thumb over your bottom lip and the blush it brought to your cheeks was all real. You took his hand in your own, and pressed a kiss to his fingers.

He made a noise, not quite a word but a quiet strangled emotion.

“I like it when you touch me,” you said barely above a whisper. It wasn’t completely a lie, you didn’t mind his fingers on your lips, but it may have been a small exaggeration.

Thomas gave another small noise and his hand lifted from your lips, hovering over your shoulders as if he wanted to pull you in close but wasn’t quite sure about it. You took his hands pressing them against your waist. His palms were warm and huge and there wasn’t a doubt in your mind that if you got on Tommy’s bad side he could break you clean in half.

His fingers dug into your sides and he pulled you closer to him as if by pure instinct alone.

“Tommy.” The voice made you both jump. Thomas’ hands stayed clutched around you as you turned your head around to see Hoyt on the staircase. He leaned against a wooden pole glaring at the two of you. “Eat your dinner. You back upstairs. Mama needs your help with the dishes.”

You swallowed back your frustrations with Hoyt and turned back to Tommy.

“I’ll see you later,” you said. Reluctantly he pried his hands off of you and went to sit on a metal stool to huddle over his dinner. You walked to the staircase and started up the steps when Hoyt grabbed your arm.

“If you’re lookin’ for a man you won’t find one down here,” he said, his voice low and his eyes roaming your body. You pushed back your feelings of disgust and let your face pinch in confusion.

“I’m sorry, sir, but what do you mean?” you asked, your voice almost childish.

“I mean-” Hoyt cut off when metal scratched the stone floor. You both turned at the noise and saw Tommy sanding up, his hand clutching a large knife from the table and glaring at where Hoyt’s fingers dug into your elbow. Hoyt’s jaw tensed for a moment and then he freed you, his hand falling to his side. He muffled a curse under his breath before waving you off. “Off with you.”

You bounced up the stairs and couldn’t keep the smile from your lips.

Your plan was already in motion. It would only be a matter of time now.

#thomas hewitt #thomas hewitt x reader #thomas hewitt x you #leatherface #slashers x reader

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imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl · 4 years ago

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Californian Dream (Pt. 10 of 11)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader

Word count: 2.5 K

Summary: Being part of one of the richest families of California doesn't mean you're happy. Your life is boring, and you're surrounded by meaningless people and their meaningless talk. Even during Summer, with the break you have from college, there's nothing good going on. Nothing but the new pool guy, Billy, the most handsome man you ever saw. You were successfully avoiding him, not wanting to act like an idiot in front of the guy until Billy accepts to be your date for a fancy gala you're forced to attend. The night was going well, even better when he sneaked you out to go to the beach. But a gang of criminals breaks into the party, kidnapping the heirs to the wealthiest families, which includes you. So, for your safety, your parents want you to stay with Billy, living in his apartment until the criminals are caught. And that could take weeks, maybe even months.

Warnings: Light violence

<- Previous part (09)

Next part (11) ->

{Stranger Things Masterlist}

{Dacre Montgomery Masterlist}

Home

“It won't take long now,” Billy mutters, his hand holding yours are you both walk through the beach. Everyone is at the snack bar, eyes on the TV, getting all the details about the most famous gang being finally arrested. “Your father will call and you can go back home.”

“I know.” Moving a strand of hair away from your face, you look down as the ripples reach your feet. “I'll go. Spend the night there and on the next morning I'll tell them.” The plan comes up suddenly because that's the best you can give them. A last night in the house before moving out for good. “I'll tell them I'll drop out of college and look for something I really wanna study. That we're dating and I'll be living with you.”

“Are you sure about this? Because you know they won't let it go that easily.”

“I know and I don't care.” Stopping, you move to stand before him, cupping his cheeks. “I mean, you still want me to live with you, right?”

“I do.” Leaning closer, Billy kisses you, soft and slow. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you tiptoe. “And I need you to know that I won't accept the money your father said he'd give for... Sheltering you.”

“Baby, you can accept it. I don't mind.”

“I can't. Having you at my place was... It is amazing, all the money in the world wouldn't be enough to pay for what you gave me.” Biting your lip, you smile at his words, causing him to raise an eyebrow. “What?”

“You're so romantic.” In a sassy tone, you step back when his face changes, ready to run if necessary.

“Just don't tell anyone,” Billy whispers, and, in a sudden motion, he moves forward, arms around your waist, lifting you up.

“I won't!” You exclaim, laughing as he spins you around before setting you down again. “It'll be our secret.” Whispering on his ear, you giggle when a bigger wave hits your calves.

“I guess the future talk will happen sooner rather than later.” He states, pulling away before another wave soaks your skirt even more.

“Yeah... I guess so.” Clearing your throat, you blush a little to remember what he said earlier. “That, Uhm... About kids.” Wait. You shouldn't bring that up. It's way too soon, and be was probably kidding. “I mean, let's get real first. I'll drop off of college and focus on my job. I like it and maybe choose another course I like. Mmm... That's pretty much it. You?”

Billy gives you a look, shaking his head lightly. Trying to dissimulate with Billy is useless. You're an open book to him, you have been since day one. “Neil was a devil of a father. And I want to be better.” His voice gets darker at the mention of Neil. You don't know the man, but you hate him with all your strength for what he did to Billy. You hope you'll never see him face to face, or else you won't be able to keep from breaking his damn nose. “Of course I never actually thought of it before, but now... You just... You messed me up, ok? In a good way, but still, you messed me up and now I'm making plans.” Rolling his eyes dramatically, Billy sits down on the sand, and you do the same, climbing on top of him. “And that's all your fault.”

“My fault? I wasn't trying to make you fall for me.” Defending yourself, you push him down until he's lying on his back and you're lying on top of him.

“If you were trying, I'd have fallen for you when you gave me that lemonade.” He places a kiss on your nose, making you giggle. “Or even before, when I saw you walking around the house... Avoiding me.”

“What?”

“Yeah, I noticed that, princess.”

“Well, I couldn't talk to you and risk sounding like a complete idiot.” Taking both his hands, you hold them down on each side of his head, ignoring his cocky face. “And it's your fault for being so good looking.”

“Hey, hey! You two!” A yell gets your attention, and when you turn your head to see, you find Stacy and Anne. “We're watching you.”

“Creepy.” You mutter, moving off of him and back on your feet. “But guess the party isn't over yet, and honey, I want to dance.”

“What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't dance with my lady.” In a quick motion, he's back up, arms around your waist as you make your way back to the bonfire.

•••

It takes three days until your father calls you. He doesn't say much, just that the gang is arrested and it's now safe for you to go back home.

Home. That house isn't home, but you comply, not wanting to make them sad or anything. So it's after lunch when Billy is driving you there, not a single thing with you. You didn't even bother to bring a bag to fake it. It'll be only one night, and then you'll sit and talk to them.

When you're moving through the gates, the same feeling you once had comes back. You feel suffocated, surrounded by all the things you don't care about. There will be a few people over, and they'll get into those meaningless conversations again, and they'll be looking at you, judging you. They'll talk about your clothes. They're normal, not insanely expensive. No... Your mother will make you go upstairs and change immediately. The lump in your throat only surrenders a bit when you feel Billy's hand on your thigh.

“You'll alright?”

“Yeah, just... Thinking about tomorrow. I'll talk to them, get my car, and when you're back from work, I'll be there.” That's your goal. That's what you're so damn excited for. Tomorrow evening, which will be exactly like the evenings you've been having for months. And you love every single one of them.

“I can't wait.” He gives you a glance and smiles. Your smile. The one that's not cocky and doesn't have a hidden meaning behind it. Not a sassy one. Just a bright, beautiful, genuine smile, that lights up his whole face.

The moment he stops the car by the front door, you get separated. You knew this would happen, so you're prepared. After hugs, tears, and welcomes from both your parents and the sea of people here, your mother guides you upstairs, making you change into a white dress with sunflowers. You don't complain, you just do as she says. For the last time.

Back downstairs, you see Billy and your father talking by the door. He tries to hand Billy a piece of paper, a paycheck probably, but Billy refuses. After a while, Billy leaves, but not before glancing at you. You know it's only for a short period, but you feel like part of your heart is going with him.

“(Y/N), honey?” Your mother calls. “Won't you answer Mrs. Vanner?”

“Oh, yes...” Shaking your head lightly, you try to focus on... Whatever they're talking about. “Sorry, what was it again?”

“I'm sure you're happy to be back home after so long having to live in such a small space.” Mrs. Vanner says, her fake, wide smile making it really hard not to roll your eyes.

Of course they know where you were now. Mother had to tell them, just for the sake of the gossip. “How can you possibly know the size of Billy's apartment?” You snap, not really trying to keep the sweet tone.

“Oh, please. Mr. Hargrove is the man who washes my son's car. How big can his place be.” She sounds so gentle, so plastic.

You should keep your mouth shut. You should play along, keep up the act until tomorrow morning, just until tomorrow morning. But you can't. You lost the ability to fake it. “Yeah. It is small. Your ego wouldn't fit in it.”

“(Y/N)!” Your mother exclaims, almost choking on her drink. “Where are your manners?”

“That's alright. Living with someone from a different class may have her used to different kinds of behavior.” Mrs. Vanner snaps, in an apologetic tone.

“Something we can agree on!” You exclaim, giving her a big smile. “That's a first.”

“(Y/N), that's enough.”

“I agree with that too.” Putting your drink down, you stand up from the armchair. “I'll head upstairs and rest for a bit.” Without saying anything else, you walk away, the high heels echoing through the empty spaces. But you stop in the middle of the stairs to kick them away before running to your bedroom.

But of course, there's a hell of a dinner. And, of course, you have to be there, nodding and smiling, pretending to pay attention to whatever they're saying. With your leg bouncing under the table, you play with your fancy food. Your mind floats back home. To the apartment. Billy is probably home already, eating what's left of the lasagna you made together yesterday. That lasagna is so much better than this boeuf bourguignon you're being forced to eat.

“Are you excited to go back to college, (Y/N)?” Mr. Eleanor asks, and you silently nod. “I bet you'll be an amazing lawyer just like your father over there.”

“Yeah.” Until they find you a rich husband and you have to abandon your career to turn into a housewife, with nothing to do but to administrate the house and spend rivers of money on useless things.

The dinner goes on for endless hours, and the small get together after has you exhausted. When you excuse yourself, getting to your bedroom, you fill up your tub and spend an hour or two there, trying to relax in a house that doesn't feel like yours anymore. It never did, but now, that feeling is amplified since you found a place you feel at home.

By the time you're in your pajamas, lying on the bed, it's way past midnight. The chattering died and everyone left, but still, you can't sleep. Kicking the sheets away, you get to your feet, walking to the balcony and breathing in the night air when you push the slide door opened. Billy fixed your railing. He was here before you even exchanged a single word with him. And you wish he was here now. With you. You didn't know exactly why you couldn't sleep, but now you do. Billy is always holding you, one way or another, and hugging the pillow doesn't compare. Is it what love is? Losing the capacity of falling asleep away from the person you love? Stepping forward, you let your fingers touch the cold metal, a smile coming to your lips.

California never felt like home. Until you found Billy.

Giving your huge garden a look, taking in the green grass and threes under the low lights, eyes wandering through its extension, you smile. And, in the blink of an eye, you know what to do.

The car keys are in the same place you left them, in a small vase on your dresser. Taking them, you put on the first pair of flats you find, having the decency of trying not to make too much noise on your way out. But you don't care, not anymore. On your way downstairs, you halt on the last step when you see Amelia, in her nightgown, coming from the kitchen with a mug in her hands. She's a little startled and confused, but her expression softens after a while.

“Don't try to stop me.” You say in a low voice.

“Are you going to be with Billy?” She asks, but by the look on her face, she already knows the answer. Amelie knows you too well, a lot better than your parents.

“Yes. I love him.” It comes out naturally, and it gives you a sense of freedom you can't describe. Saying it, here, is amazing.

“Then go, bunny.” Amelia smiles, and you rush to give her a tight hug before making your way to the garage, straight into your pink Cadillac.

You never enjoyed driving as much as you do now that you're going somewhere you wanna be. The streets are only half empty, and you decide to put the top down to feel the night air on your face, only to put it up again when you reach the parking lot. There are a few spaces, thank God, and you park on the first one you find, running up to Billy's apartment, panting after the six sets of stairs leading to the third floor.

But it doesn't matter. You're at his door, and it doesn't matter. You have the key, but the whole keychain is inside, so you have no choice but to knock a few times.

And when the door is open, a very sleepy Billy seems all confused, as if he just saw a ghost. “(Y/N)?”

“I couldn't sleep.” You simply say, keeping your voice as low as you can despite still trying to catch your breath.

His confusion fades away, and a smile takes over. “Me neither.” Stepping forward, Billy wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you inside with him before pushing the door close and crashing his lips on yours.

This was the right decision, as crazy as it seems. When Billy kisses you, you know that everything you did that led to this moment was right. He's pulling you to the bedroom when the phone rings. The damn thing has the bad habit of interrupting you.

“Let me–”

“No. I know who it is.” Cutting him off, you pull away, walking over the phone. You don't think much before answering it. “Hi, dad.”

“Wha– (Y/N)?” He stutters, and your mother says something on the back about her being right. “What the hell are you doing there? Your mother went to your room and you were gone, she almost had a heart attack!”

“I'm sorry. I'm at Billy's.”

“Why in the hell are you there? Get your ass back home now.”

“No.” You state, crossing your arms.

“What do you mean by ‘no’?” He scoffs. “What do you think you're doing?”

“Father, I'm an adult and I know exactly what I'm doing.” Taking a deep breath, you run a hand through your hair. “We have a lot to talk about, and I'll explain everything, I promise. Meet me tomorrow in your favorite restaurant at noon.”

“What? I won't–”

“If you want to know what's going on and why I came back here, you'll go. Tell mother to go as well. Have a good night.” Without allowing him to say anything else, you hang up. Turning to look at Billy, you sigh. “Call in sick tomorrow, because I'll need you with me.”

“I have a couple of days off I can use, don't worry.” He comes closer, pulling you into a tight hug. “I'll be right there with you.”

“They'll say all kinds of mean things, you know that, right?”

“I don't care.”

@multific @dontxfearxthereaper @nope-thanks @nikkixostan @shinydixon @clockworkballerina @infinitelycharmed23 @lilred91

#imagine billy hargrove #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove x y/n #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove #billy stranger things fanfiction #billy stranger things imagine #billy stranger things #imagine stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfiction

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gaaruto-kage · 4 years ago

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It’s Alright - Gaara x Reader

Oh, it's alright, oh

Oh, hey

I had a night I had a day

I did one million stupid things

I said one billion foolish things

I'm not okay

I got a baseball bat beside my bed

To fight off what’s inside my head

To fight off what’s behind my meds

I'm lonely, lost in pain

You woke up, the dark, still air interrupted only by the slight sounds of crying and whimpering coming from beside you in the bed. You rolled over to look at your partner, Gaara, to find the sounds coming from his grimace-twisted mouth. His fists clenched so tightly around the blanket that his knuckles were white and a thin sheen of sweat coated his forehead, causing his red hair to stick to it in clumps. You knew what this was, another one of his nightmares, and immediately you sat up and reached your hands out towards him, one on his shoulder gently shaking him and one pushing his sweat-soaked hair away from his face. It took a minute, but eventually his eyes opened and he looked around frantically before seeing you. He all but threw himself into your arms and relaxed into your touch while you rubbed his back and whispered reassuring words into his ear.

It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay

You're not a monster, just a human

And you made a few mistakes

It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay

You're not gruesome, just human

And you made a few mistakes

It's alright, oh

It's okay, oh

After several minutes Gaara’s sobbing subsided to a few sniffles and his stiff body seemed to relax into you.

“Do you want to talk about it?” you asked, your gentle voice breaking the tense near-silence that had settled in the room. At first Gaara just nodded while his face was pressed into your neck, but then he pulled back and verbally responded with a quiet “yes”.

“Well, I’m right here my love. You talk when you’re ready,” you reassured. A few moments passed before he started speaking.

“I… I was a child again. Back during the chuunin exams. I was fighting Lee and I felt this unstoppable rage burning in me and… and I killed him. And then I turned and I, oh god I killed them all! There was blood everywhere, and it got mixed into my sand, and I just…” at this point Gaara’s description turned into an incoherent babbling with some gasps and sobs mixed in, so you pulled him into your arms again and rubbed his back as he let it all out again.

Goddamn

I throw a brick right through the window

My life ignored the signals

I am high and drunk on ego

Can't see straight

So I just feel my way around and

I am touching, I am grabbing

Everything I can't be havin'

I am broken down in shame

Gaara mumbled something into your shoulder that you didn’t quite catch, so you asked him to repeat himself.

“I wanted to kill myself,” he whispered. “Right at the end of it, standing in the middle of all my carnage, all of the rage slipped away and I was me again. Me now, I mean, not the monster I was back then. I wanted to kill myself, as if that would somehow make up for all the destruction I had caused. And then I woke up.”

You were stunned into silence. Most of Gaara’s nightmares were about his childhood, when his father raised him to be remorseless, someone fueled only by anger and the sand demon trapped inside him, but this was one of the worst nightmares he’d had in a long time. You stayed quiet, unsure of what to say and unwilling to risk saying the wrong thing in case it might make things worse for Gaara.

You continued to rub his back and murmur throwaway phrases in between gentle kisses to the top of his head - things like “it’s okay now” and “it was just a dream” and “you’re safe here”. Eventually he calmed down enough to want to try and go back to sleep. Once under the blanket, you pulled him close so he could still feel your comforting embrace even after he fell asleep again.

It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay

You're not a demon, there's a reason

You behaved in that way

It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay

And I believe, yes I believe

That you will see a better day

It's alright, oh

It's okay, oh

It's alright, oh

“Am I a monster?” Gaara’s question rang out in the silence. A couple of hours had passed and you figured he had fallen back asleep by now, even if you hadn’t. You propped your head up on your arm so you could get a good look at him as he stared hopelessly at you.

“No, Gaara, you’re not a monster,” you replied.

“But, all those people I hurt-”

“The people in your dream?”

“The people in real life.” Your words caught in your throat. It had been a long time since Gaara was the kind of person who hurt people just to see them in pain, the cold killer his father wanted him to be, but it was clear that he still thought of himself that way sometimes. Maybe this most recent nightmare brought up old fears. You went to place your hand on his cheek to comfort him, but he flinched when he saw it come near his face so you let it drop to your side instead.

“Gaara, I don’t think you’re a monster,” you said quietly.

“I’ve killed so many people, and hurt countless others. I’ve destroyed lives in ways that I can’t take back. I try to make things better using my power as the Kazekage, but no matter what I do it won’t bring those people back. They’re gone forever, and still they won’t leave me alone.” He sat up straight in bed and you followed suit. “I’m going for a walk. Don’t follow me.” As he said this, he got up and began getting dressed.

“Gaara, what are you doing?” You reached for his hand but he pulled away too quickly for you to grab it.

“I need to clear my head.”

“Let me help you, please.”

“No. You stay here. I don’t… I don’t want to hurt you too.” With that he pulled on his shoes and made his way swiftly out the door. You waited about thirty seconds before pulling on your own sandals and slipping as quietly as you could after him.

I don't wanna know who I am

'Cause heaven only knows what I’ll find

I don't wanna know I'm not capable of coming out alive

I don't wanna see what's inside

I think that I would rather be blind

I don't wanna know I'm not capable, I'm capable

You followed Gaara through the town and towards the outskirts of Suna, sticking to the shadows and making sure not to create any sounds that could alert him to your presence. After what seemed like ages considering the sky had just begun to get lighter with the promise of the sunrise Gaara finally stopped walking as he made it to the entrance of the cemetery. He paused for a moment before making his way not to his mother’s grave as you had known him to do on the occasion, but rather to the opposite side of the cemetery where the former Kazekages were buried, including his father.

Gaara made it to the large stone that marked where his father’s body rested in the ground and immediately fell to his knees. You wanted to rush forward, but knew it would be better to stay hidden and not let Gaara know just yet that you had followed him. On his knees before the great stone marker he looked so small and helpless. That, coupled with the crying you could now hear coming from him, just about broke your heart. It hurt seeing the man you love breaking like this and knowing you could only do so much for him. After a few minutes you started to hear him actually say things, although a lot of it was lost to the distance.

“Why… turned me into… made me… a monster like you…”

At this point Gaara began pounding his fists into the sand below him and screaming out into the world. You saw the sand begin to move around him in ways you knew could only be due to his chakra. You felt the fear rise in your throat but swallowed it down hard. This was Gaara, and he wouldn’t hurt you. You trusted that much to be true. Even in this emotional and scared state he was in right now, he wouldn’t hurt you. You stepped forward out of the shadow and called out his name. He whipped around to face you, sand scattering around him and reforming into spikes and tendrils.

“I told you not to follow me here.” You steeled yourself and took a single step forward, then a second and a third. At this point the sand whipping around Gaara was close enough to just start hitting you, each grain feeling like the sting of an insect. It hurt, but you pushed through it.

“Gaara, this isn’t you,” you pleaded. You took another step and this time a tendril of sand shot forward and wrapped around your ankle, but quick as it latched on it pulled back.

“You’re wrong! I’m a monster! I kill people, and I hurt those I care about! It’s how I’ve always been and I’ve been kidding myself thinking I’ve changed!” The wind and sand grew harsher around you and felt something drip down your face. Blood, maybe, from the sand cutting your skin, or maybe you were crying.

“No Gaara, you’re not a monster.” Despite the worry and anger and sadness building up within you, you managed to keep your voice even. “That boy you once were, you’re not him anymore no matter how much you fear you might be. You unlearned every awful thing your father taught you, not just because other people love you but because you love them too. Temari, Kankuro, Naruto, everyone else from Leaf Village, you know you love them all. The old Gaara didn’t love anybody and didn’t care who he hurt. The Gaara standing here before me, he is so full of love and is only acting this way because he’s scared. That’s how I know you’ve changed.” With that, you rushed forward through the sand, ignoring the way it cut up your skin, and threw yourself at Gaara hoping your idea of what would happen was correct.

I'm alright, I'm okay, I'm alright, I'm okay

I'm not a monster, I'm a human

And I made a few mistakes

I'm alright, I'm okay, I'm alright, I'm okay

I'm not gruesome, just human

And I made a few

Everything was silent. You were laying on the ground and tried to pull yourself up, but something stopped you - Gaara’s arms wrapped tightly around your midsection. You shifted your head enough to take in your surroundings; the two of you were still in the cemetery laying in the sand in front of his father’s grave.

“Don’t get up yet, please.” Gaara’s voice was much quieter than you expected. It was as if he thought that being too loud would shatter the stillness that surrounded the two of you.

“What happened?” you asked, equally quiet.

“You saved me. My nightmare terrified me; I was so scared that I’d turn back into who I was that I almost did exactly that. I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t been here for me.” You turned enough that you were able to see Gaara face to face.

“I love you, Gaara. I will be there for you whenever you need me.” He smiled before placing a gentle kiss on your forehead.

“What do you say we get out of here and lie someplace more comfortable, like our bed?”

“I like that idea.”

It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay

You're not a demon, there's a reason

You behaved that way

It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay

And I believe, yes I believe

That you will see a better day

It's alright, oh

It's okay, oh

It's alright, oh

And I believe, yes I believe

That you will see a better day

(It's alright)

________________________________________________________________

This is a loose sequel to my other Gaara fic All My Loving. Enjoy.

#gaara #gaara x reader #naruto #naruto shippuden #naruto reader insert #gaara reader insert #naruto fanfiction #naruto fanfic #reader insert #its alright #mother mother #song fic

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captains-writing-desk · 4 years ago

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Chapter Two: The Beast

Universe: The Mandalorian

Character: Din Djarin

Type: Reader insert (female)

Words: 2,610

Warnings: Swearing

Notes: Chapter two lads! Genuine question, is it weird that I’m just adding you to the story. Like I legitimately can’t tell if I’m just writing out the Mandalorian or if I’m actually adding anything of value to it...

Desert planets really were the worst, at least in your mind and the Mandalorian seemed to agree with you. Upon arrival on Tatooine, you were greeted with an old acquaintance of his who didn’t even know if Mos Pelgo was still standing until her droid pointed the way.

“Who’s your friend?” She asked him and gestured over his shoulder to where you were stood leaning against the the foot of the razor crest with your arms folded, listening to their discussion. He was hesitant in his response as in that moment he realised he didn’t even know your name. Thus far, he had never had to refer to you to anyone nor did he need to grab your attention for anything. He rarely asked for names, he would always find out in some way, much less was he inclined to give out his own name but he felt shameful at that momemt for not knowing yours.

“A passenger.” He eventually responded after glancing back at you.

“Another faceless stranger like you, huh?” She rocked the kid on her hip before handing him back over. He did not respond to her remark and simply thanked her before taking his leave, so you grabbed your new batons you’d gotten on the last stop off the floor and slid them into the holsters on your back where they lay crossed over one another.

“You sure there’s Mandalorian here?” You asked once you reached the town of Mos Pelgo, eyeing up the folk that resided there.

“I had word from Gor Koresh there had been a sighting here.” He seemed to be equally on edge as you were. So that’s what he had gotten up to when he went for a little walk into town the other day.

It was in a bar that you’d finally caught sight of this Mandalorian that was said to be here but much to the disappointment of your companion, he was not the real deal and subsequently he was to return his armour to be brought back to its own people which brought a tense situation about and surprisingly a Krayt Dragon straight through the village. A deal was eventually struck but something still felt a little bit iffy to you, so you kept your guard up. That armour was not his, yes but it was haunted.

Tusken raiders. This was going to be a fun team up, especially if this Cobb Vanth guy was going to get pissy about working with them at every opportune moment. You were getting pretty annoyed watching him refuse to drink with them and almost gave him a piece of your mind until he finally relented. Unfortunately for you however, he felt the need to come and sit with you away from the rest, probably in a state of embarassment.

“Well that was nasty..” He commented as he sat on the rock you’d perched yourself on but you made no comment and simply pulled out your blaster to inspect and keep yourself occupied.

“You’re not much of a talker either huh? “ You declined to comment once again, “Well just be grateful you didn’t have to drink whatever that shit was.” He drawled.

“Be grateful they even agreed to help after you refused to have one simple drink.” You finally piped up but kept your voice low and unwavering. He looked at you for a moment with his mouth slightly ajar then smiled a little.

“So you do have a voice.. and a ladies voice at that.” You felt the shift in his mood.

“I ain’t no lady, I can tell you that.” You remained fairly neutral with your annoyance subsiding ever so slightly.

“Oh I don’t doubt that..” He raised his brows and kicked his legs out in front of him then crossed one over the other. You stopped your blaster inspection and turned your head slightly to see him leaning back rather casually now and resting on his elbows. So he was getting flirty was he? You rather enjoyed taking someone’s ego down a peg or two sometimes.

“What do you mean by that?” Your tone gave nothing away but you mirrored his position.

“Well..” He was slightly taken back but he adjusted once he saw you lean back as he did, “I simply meant I can’t see you being particularly lady-like, maybe even fairly brazen..” He almost whispered the last word as he glanced around casually, his eyes briefly registering the Mandalorian who was almost certainly watching and listening in despite being preoccupied with the kid, so he turned in his side to keep a more intimate conversation going. You remained as you were and also noticed your companion’s attention running your way.

“Are you trying to flirt with me?” You asked, keeping your eyes on the Mandalorian.

“Is it not working?” He chuckled as he spoke softly, trying to maintain the intimacy.

“Do you see me trying to fuck you?” You looked at him now, briefly seeing your companion choke on his own saliva presumably.

“Well I wouldn’t expect you to try here.” He shrugged. This man was relentless.

“I would tear you apart before I even thought about trying.” You were so nonchalant he was almost disturbed by it.

Your eyes went to the Mandalorian again who seemed more relaxed than he had been the last time you looked. Truthfully he was grateful you had refused Vanth’s advances and was now finding it highly amusing.

“Alright, I get the hint,” Cobb laughed after finally speaking up, “However. I could probably get into that.” He hinted and you paused for a moment before finding the humour in what he had said.

“Well if I change my mind you can fuck around and find out.” You laughed under your breath.

“Deal.” He agreed with a hearty chuckle and then left you in peace to think about how maybe the company of others wasn’t entirely terrible and not everyone was out to get you. That last part was yet to be proved however.

You were stood just in front of the villagers and sand people, wanting front row seating on what was about to go down with the krayt beastie. You watched as the raiders took a bantha as an offering to what you assumed to be the front door of the great beast’s hideout. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel a little excited but moments later that all changed. Everything went to shit, it was too clever and it needed to be lured further out. Grappling hooks had been shot into its hide and there was a collective effort to hold them down but there was nowhere near enough man power to do anything against the strength of that thing. You shot one in an attempt to help keep the beast down but once it reared its head back, launching anyone attached into the air, you let go and let yourself come crashing down to the floor, winding yourself. You tucked your limbs in as raiders flew past you being dragged along by the ropes, you lifted your head and watched the last one blow past you, grabbing its rifle in the process then leapt to your feet and sprinted off to the side to keep the collective target off your back. You aimed your weapon and watched as it spewed some sort of acidic goo from its mouth, You didn’t know that could happen... Nor did you expect it to survive the ensuing blast.

You fired as soon as it reared its ugly head from the top of the cave and spewed more of that nasty green stuff. You liked a challenge but this was getting a little frustrating and required new tactics which were thin on the ground with this thing. Just as your mind went to the Mandalorians and their jetpacks, they took off up to the beast.

“Keep going!” You yelled to the crowd and joined them, fronting a heavy assault on the beast to keep its attention but it didn’t hold for long when the other two started firing and it retreated once more. God this thing was annoying...

There was a brief silence waiting for the next attack and locating where it would come from. You focussed yourself and felt for where it was coming from, whilst watching through your scope. ‘Behind.’ Something in you told you it was behind and you swing your body around to scan the dunes behind you but your vantage was poor so you moved closer to the group where the Mandalorians turned to follow your sight. Sure enough you were right and it came thundering down the dunes. Now what? All you could really do was shoot. Unless.. the bantha.

“Hey!” You got their attention and nodded to the bantha that was strapped with explosives.

“Get its attention.” The mandalorian instructed Vanth and that he did but the bantha was restless. Next thing you saw was Vanth being jetted off against his will and the Mandalorian holding tight to the bantha. You focussed your sight on the bantha but he was in the way.

“Move!” You called and he glanced at you but remained unmoved. You felt your blood boil and and your breathing slow down but before anything else could happen, he had been taken down with the dragon and you were left in a deafening silence, only briefly registering the kids concerned garbles.

‘Move.’ You repeated your last words to yourself and they echoed around your head, growing from a whisper to a frantic wail. You shook your head and snapped out of your daze a little too late to pay heed to your own warning. You started running but the ground beneath you broke and the dragon resurfaced, flicking you into the air at enough of an angle to let you land safely into a roll and back to your feet. You turned sharply, rifle at the ready but the Mandalorian hovered above it with the detenator in hand.

‘Fuck.’ You thought and lowered the rifle just in time to witness the explosion through your own eyes and your rifle being torn from your hands. You were however several feet in the air, watching the sand riple around you. The force of the explosion left you no room to right yourself in the air for a comfortable landing and it felt like forever that you were flying. You heard the kid in that moment again, his concerned little cry urging you to be alright. You took a deep breath and willed yourself to arch backwards until you saw the floor slowly getting closer. You pulled the batons from their place on your back and prayed they were a good investment then stretched your arms out above your head until they made contact with the sand. You kicked your foot and swung your body around to plant your feet on the ground too in s crouching position. You pressed down hard until you came to a stop next to Vanth who took his helmet off to make a point of looking at you, confusion plastered across his face for a moment.

You stood to your feet and he joined you in watching the beast, making sure it really was dead this time and given that it was practically torn apart you’d say it was. The job was done. The raiders and the villagers cheered at the sight of the fallen beast so you let your guard down and your legs gave way, letting you sink to your knees and catch your breath.

“You alright?” Vanth appeared beside you and knelt down to your level.

“Fucking A.” You panted as you stared at your hands, willing them to loosen their grip on the batons. Vanth disappeared and the kid appeared in his place next to you and rested his little hand on your thigh, you looked at him and felt your body relax itself.

“Thanks kid.” You sighed and touched the palm of your hand to his head before attempting to will yourself to your feet again but you felt the burn in your thighs as you shifted your weight forwards, making you groan in frustration and question why you pulled that stunt in the first place. Your life wasn’t in mortal danger so what was the point.

“Fuck sake.” You whispered to yourself and sighed again.

“You okay?” The Mandalorian stood before you now. ‘Great. More attention.’ You thought as you drew your gaze from his feet up to his helmet. You took in the little bits of slime that clung to the beskar and watched him extend his hand out to you. You felt anger again then and begrudgingly slapped your palm into his, letting him help you up because truthfully you needed it.

The Mandalorian wanted to ask you a million questions in that moment. They had all built up over the past few months but his stubbornness to remain withdrawn always got the better of him, especially since you were built the same way. You never asked him questions but then again, he didn’t seem to have an air about him. He was a damn good bounty hunter, he was great at his job and the best there was but he had the odd bit of technology on his side. There was nothing technological built into you, he knew this because he had scanned you once out of curiosity so the questions remained. How did you sense things so early? How were you so skilled in combat? And HOW did you twist your way out of a blast like that and kick your leg off of something that wasn’t there?

He was staring at you and you could almost hear the cogs grinding around in that bucket of his.

“You fucking idiot.” You finally broke the silence and jabbed a baton into his chest plate. You were short tempered, he knew that much but you seemed genuinely angry and he was surprised by such an oddly personal interaction. “Move out of the fucking way next time.” That definitely felt like a threat. He watched you walk past him and over to the carcass of the beast then he followed suit wordlessly.

Vanth stuck to his word and handed the armour over to the Mandalorian wishing him luck with the child then he stepped over to you.

“Any chance you fancy staying here?” That was an odd question you thought.

“Why on earth would I do that?” Truly you had no intention of sticking it out here.

“Just wondering if you’d changed your mind..” He grinned and you snorted.

“It’s far too hot for me here to even attempt that sort of business.” You put your hand on your hip.

“Well, you could fuck around and find out. On your next visit maybe.” He added with a smirk and you shook your head.

“Maybe.” You both knew you were lying but it was all harmless either way.

You bid your farewell as did the Mandalorian then you both started heading back to the ship. You took the armour from him to help distribut the load but it still felt haunted. You touched your palm to the helmet and paused for a moment then jerked your torso around to scan the horizons.

“What’s wrong?” The Mandalorian stopped just ahead of you and saw you looking back. You were too tired to deal with whatever business was going on, you felt no immediate threat so you shook it off and hooked the bundle over your back and proceeded in front of the Mandalorian.

“Nothing.” You mumbled on your way past as he stood watching where you had been looking then he sighed and followed suit.

#reader insert #the mandalorian #din djarin #din djarin x reader #the mandalorian x reader #din djarin x you #din djarin/reader

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dammitadolfnomorecake · 4 years ago

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Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt 194

194

Lance knew better than to turn to sex for emotional comfort, he told himself he did, and he still let himself get swept away by Keith’s overwhelming desire to confirm he was loved... and loved a lot.

Cuddled together, the emotional exhaustion had Keith falling asleep in his arms. The position uncomfortable for Lance, but he didn’t have it in his heart to move Keith. He loved him. He loved the soft puffs of breath that tickled his stomach. He loved the long dark strands of hair that had escaped Keith’s ponytail. He loved his warmth. He loved that this ego and Keith’s seemed to understand that they were crazy about each other, despite the clash in their scents. He’d never ever thought a vampire could love a werewolf. Not with the long going open hostility... but he loved Keith. Heck. His stubbornness over a proposal so soon into dating had faded. Keith could propose with a piece of used dental floss and fluff from under the bed and he’d still be over the moon.

Tolerating the pain in his hips, and his need for the bathroom, as long as he could, Lance had to move Keith off of him. His boyfriend trying to grab him as Lance moved his hand away and kissed his forehead

“Bathroom break”

Keith huffed unhappy about it. So terribly cute. Being a werewolf was wasted on his boyfriend. Not when he was an octopus when it came to cuddles

“I’ll be back in a moment”

Huffing, Keith let his arm drop, Lance escaping and grabbing his phone as he went.

Calling Shiro was a spare of the moment decision. He didn’t want to alarm him in the middle of the night, but he also wanted to give him the heads up on what they were doing. Sending a text first, he was done in the bathroom by the time his phone started ringing. Anxiety sent his stomach dropping. He hated how things were between him and Shiro. He’d said some cruel things, Shiro had said some cruel things. They both messed up, yet he seemed to be stuck on fear mode when talking to Keith’s brother. Sliding his thumb across the screen, Lance took a deep breath before moving his phone to his ear

“Lance?”

Oh god. He couldn’t go back now

“H-hey... Shiro. Sorry if you were sleeping”

“It’s the middle of the night”

Shiro sounded like he’d definitely been sleeping

“Sorry. Keith’s asleep and I wanted to give you the heads up. We’re going to visit his dad’s grave today. I thought I’d let you know in case he didn’t want to talk, or didn’t answer in chat”

“I thought you would have gone yesterday”

There was a kind of blame in Shiro’s voice... Lance didn’t blame him

“We were both tired, so we had a lazy day to let Keith build up to it”

“Okay. I see”

Well. This was awkward

“Yeah. We actually met a man who knew Keith’s dad and it rattled him. We didn’t tell him that he was talking to Keith, but this town wants to forget that fire and it’s hard on him”

“Of course it’s hard on him”

Shit. There was no reason for tears and yet his eyes were getting watery

“I’m sorry for calling. I just wanted to let you know what was going on. I’ll leave you to go back to sleep”

Shiro sighed deeply. There was no way he could know he’d upset Lance

“Is he okay. Is he eating?”

“Yeah. Yeah. He’s been eating, he hasn’t gotten angry or stormed off. He was a bit emotional tonight. Oh, can you bring some of his camera equipment? I think it’ll be a good distraction. We’re going to get a copy of the council records on the fire... so I want him to have something else to think about”

A stupid sniffle escaped. He wanted happiness for Keith...

“Lance...”

Nope. He had to hang up. He was going to start crying if he stayed on the phone

“I’m sorry, Shiro. I... have to go... I’m sorry”

Cutting the call as Shiro tried to reply, Lance left his phone in the bathroom. He didn’t want to go into the day in a down mood. Then again, he’d thought the same thing the previously and... well, ugh. He’d had fun with Keith, acting like they were children again. With Blue, having a sandpit at home wouldn’t work, but his mind was already planning a future family holiday to the beach where he’d bully Keith into making sandcastles with him. He’d have someone twin sit so he and Keith could have a proper day being dumb at the beach, then come home slightly sunburnt, and regretting things, but at the same time not because they’d had a lot of fun. Keith was his whole future. As Coran would say, they were soulmates. He really would gift Keith his whole being just to be lucky enough to call him his.

Crawling back into bed, Keith instantly drew him close for snuggling. Their positions now switched with Keith laying on his back and Lance laying half on top of him where he could fit. Yeah. He wanted to marry this guy... One day he’d marry the heck out of him, and Keith would marry the heck out of his right back.

Keith didn’t try to hide his anxious mood as they got ready for the day ahead. He knew Lance was anxious as the vampire had tried to clean the hotel room, grumping that there was no vacuum cleaner to do the floors with. Sullen over breakfast, Lance covered for him. Smiling and thanking the waitress that brought their breakfast, smoothing things over while Keith sat slouched and glared at the world.

All too soon they were headed to the cemetery, Keith not really remembering the drive despite being the driver. Parking in the parking lot, his whole body shook. He wanted to flee. They were so close and he hated how much he wanted to flee. This was his dad. He shouldn’t have been as nervous as he was, but all of this left just as shaken as he’d been to learn to Lance was pregnant. His dad knew about the creatures of the night, and now he was turning up at his grave as one of those creatures.

Lance didn’t push him. He undid his belt, but waited until Keith was so cranky at himself for his cowardice and made a move of his own, before climbing out the bronco. The cemetery wasn’t like the one in Garrison. There were more weeds than grass. Sand skirted the edges of the area, with a few very old trees in place. It felt lonely. Not a place people would want to visit... and he’d left his dad laying there for all those years... Somehow it’d been easier to say goodbye to Mami than it was to face his dad. Mami being gone hadn’t been real until he’d seen her grave. There was no denying the proof thrust onto him. Moving to take his hand, Lance squeezed softly to tell him he was there for him. Keith wanted to pull his hand away, not feeling he deserved support after leaving his dad alone. Hearing the police officer from the previous night describe how much his father loved him had shaken him. Reminded him dangerous it was to fall in love. How freak accidents happened every day and the ones you loved were stolen away unfairly.

Wandering through the cemetery, it smelt... unnerving. Lance’s death scent was the kind of scent he wanted to roll in. The scent of the cemetery should have been the same. There was so much death there, which was logical, but this was a cold death. A fine layer of goosebumps covered his skin as he tried not to read the names of the people they passed. His dad should have been buried somewhere nice. Somewhere like in Platt with its rolling green lawns, or in Garrison where there was no chance of his resting place being disturbed. When Lance came to a stop, Keith didn’t get why until his eyes met the gravestone. His heart doing a flip as he realised just who they’d finally found.

“Jeong” “Joe” Steven Kogane”

The word seemed glaring almost on his senses. His dad was right there and he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what to say. Under his birthday and date of death read “A hero taken back to heaven”. No “beloved father of Keith”. No mention of him at all. Erased from his father’s grave felt as if his whole existence had been erased. He was “beloved”. He’d loved Keith and Keith loved him.

“Babe”

“I’m not there”

Lance tugged him close, Keith shaking

“Hey. Hey, it’s okay”

“I’m not there...”

“As unpleasant as it is, babe, and this is going to sound hard, but with no money to pay for the grave, I’m sure his friends put in for it. Some places charge a hundred dollars for each lead letter”

Pushing Lance away, his boyfriend stumbled but saved himself. Keith was mad Lance could reduce this to money, even if he was right

“So it’s okay for me to not be in there! I’m his son! I’m his son and they don’t even care! They forgot me! And you don’t care!”

Lance shot him a wounded look, taking a few deep breaths as he rubbed his stomach. He’d scared him. He’d scared him and he knew it. Why had he pushed him? That behaviour wasn’t okay... He was such a moron

“It’s not that I don’t care... I care. I love you and I care. You dad loved and he cared. We don’t know what they were thinking, but they were hurting too. You had your dad torn away from you. They had their friend torn away from them. I think it’s nice that they gave him a proper stone when he was laid to rest. People these days are so self centred it’s not something you’d expect to see. Anyway, you haven’t even introduced yourself to your dad, babe”

Keith flicked his gaze from Lance back to his father’s grave. He was showing his dad the wrong side of him... but he felt stupid standing there. He wanted Lance to take the initiative and introduce both of them... yet... He couldn’t keep running away

“Uh... um... Hi... dad... it’s me, Keith. I don’t know what to say. He’s not here...”

Lance moved back to his side

“You don’t have to say what you want to say out loud. Jeong... Joe... I’m Lance. I’m a vampire and I have the honour of dating your son Keith. He’s a total handful, but he’s a good man. We’ve had our ups and downs, but we’re here. I wish I could have met you. You’re going to be a grandfather to twins. Krolia’s excited about it all. Yes, she and Keith found each other again... I know you didn’t want to leave him, but I promise to love him as long as we both live. To make him happy. And to stay by his side for the rest of our lives. You fathered an amazing man...”

See. Lance was a million times better at this than him. Keith’s heart going funny as Lance sounded like he was all but proposing in front of his father

“Babe, you don’t have to be afraid of your father. He may not be here in spirit, but he’s always a part of you. You should tell him about you. And next time we come, we’ll bring flowers and tidy his grave up properly. Fuck... I was going to bring him a photo of the twins... Shit... I swore in front of your dad”

Keith mentally rolled his eyes at Lance swearing in front of his father... twice. That was more something he would do. He guessed he could try something more... He couldn’t really disappoint his father any more than he already had by pushing Lance

“Uh... yeah... Um... Lance is my boyfriend and he’s carrying my twins... and I... I’m a werewolf. Shiro... uh, he’s like my adopted brother without the paperwork, he um, had to have me turned to save my life... um... Lance... makes me really happy. I know you’d be disappointed that I... um... pushed him. I’m disappointed in myself too... I... I’m no good at this”

“Babe, you’re doing fine. You’re doing more than fine. You’re doing good. Do you want me to give you a moment?”

Keith shook his head. He couldn’t face this alone. He felt dumb and left alone would only make him storm off angry at himself

“No. Stay... please”

“Sure. You can tell him anything you want to say, but don’t... don’t feel like you have to rush into telling him everything. Your dad would be so happy to see you. He loved you and he was proud of you. That’s the important thing. And now we know where he is, we can come back and visit. We’ll bring the twins, and I’ll tell them about him. And you’ll tell them about him. Just because they’re gone, doesn’t mean we don’t love our parents any less. I miss Mami every single day. Whenever I need advice, it’s still imprinted on me to turn to her. It’s okay to not be okay about seeing your dad again, especially when life was so mean as to take him away when you were so young. But, babe. You’re not alone. I’m here. I know how much you have to say. You’ve said it all to me. It’s okay to tell him you love him and miss him”

If only it was that simple. He felt so unbelievably stupid. His dad wasn’t there. He couldn’t tell him face to face. He didn’t even know if they’d recovered a body...

“I don’t... I’m...”

“Babe, hey. You’re not stupid”

Keith ducked his head. He hadn’t realised he’d been venting out loud

“It doesn’t feel like he’s here”

“I know. I think humans starting erecting grave markers not only to show that someone was once alive, but to give you somewhere to go to talk to that person you miss. It’s like looking at picture and asking them “What do you think I should do?”. The picture can’t reply, but you think about that person when you’re looking at it. I know you have very few memories of your father. I know and it sucks. I’m hoping we can learn more by looking at the council records. I want you to know him. He wants you to know him. The time you spent together wasn’t wasted... that’s... kind of why I questioned that cop. I want you to know whatever there’s to know about your dad... and it was clear to everyone around at the time that you and your dad were tight. That he loved you. That he’d done all he could to be happy and make you safe and loved”

Keith of old wouldn’t have been convinced. He still wasn’t sure he was convinced and Lance wasn’t simply telling him what he wanted to hear. Yet, this pregnancy had changed him. He adored the twins. He already knew he’d do absolutely everything and anything for them. He never wanted them to feel the pain he’d gone through. He didn’t want them to be scared to ask for the things they wanted or needed. He didn’t want them not knowing him... Lance would tell them all about him, should something ever happen to him. He knew that. He’d spent so long angry that his father had left him. So many years were wasted with nowhere to direct that anger into anything other than destruction. But... if his father felt as he did, then he had been loved. He’d been loved and wanted. The last thing his father would have wanted was to leave him behind. Somehow he’d managed to survive, to survive long enough to meet the best man he could hope for to spend the rest of his life with. He wasn’t the same man who’d pulled a gun on Lance. The idea of it still made him feel like a total douche canoe. His father might not have approved... but maybe... maybe he didn’t need his approval... because Lance made him happy. He made him grateful to be alive in this world.

“I really love you, babe. I’m sorry I pushed you away. That was really uncool of me. You didn’t deserve it”

Lance immediately shook his head

“No. I’m okay. You’re all messed up inside and that’s understandable”

“It might be understandable, but that doesn’t make it okay. I love you. I love being with you... I... don’t want to hurt you. I want... to be the kind of boyfriend you’re proud of”

“Babe, you always make me proud. Even on the days you can’t find it in you to like, or even love yourself, I love you. I’m proud to be your boyfriend, and I’m thankful that I’m here with you, to meet your dad. I think he truly would have been proud of you. You’re hot headed and reckless, and you’re still grieving everything, but you’re so strong. You’re a good man. And the man I want to spend every day with for the rest of my life. I want to make you happy. I want to be the one who makes you laugh and smile. I want to shout out to the whole damn world that you’re mine. I wanna have kids and grow old ... older... with you. I wanna be there for the good and the bad and be your family as long as we both shall live”

Keith blushed. Lance shouldn’t be so kind and quick with his praise, his ego was lapping it all up, and he could almost feel it swelling inside of him in the literal sense of the word.

“I’ll never get used to you praising me when I’ve done nothing”

“You don’t have to do anything. You being you is all I could ever want”

Again, what Lance was saying was sounding dangerously close to a proposal. Keith knew he was overthinking things. Lance wanted to date for a while before considering making it all official on paper. He could wait. His ego might not be happy, but their love wasn’t any less without a ring on Lance’s pretty little finger. With his boyfriend’s praise, he could stand before his dad... maybe finally feeling a little less stupid about trying to talk to a grave stone than he had before. Holding Lance’s hand, he shook his head, trying to shake off his earlier stupidity

“Dad, this is Lance. He’s a vampire and I love him. We’re a family... we might not be the perfect family, especially when you think about everything, but he’s perfect to me. He... he’s... really all sorts of amazing. Mum... uh, um... Krolia... I met her again. She’s... weird. But I guess that’s okay... I... um, didn’t have the best life before, but things are better than they’ve ever been. I used to be into photography, but... um... lately I’ve been into Lance. Um... my brother, Shiro... I think you’d like him... he and his partner Curtis are going to come meet you... mum had worked. She’s still with Blade. We didn’t really get along but that’s better now... next time we come, we’ll clean up your grave... I still... can’t believe you’re right in front of me”

Lance let out a hum as Keith mentioned cleaning his dad’s grave. Keith automatically jumping to conclusions, and that conclusion was that Lance was thinking something

“What is it?”

“Huh?”

Scrunching his brow, Lance cocked his head at him

“You hummed...”

“Oh. I was thinking we should ask the council if we’re allowed to put up a little fence and make it look nice”

Where was Lance building this fence? And what did that have to do with his father’s grave?

“You want to build a fence?”

“Not a “fence” fence. But like a little border and we could put in a couple of cacti to give it some colour. I was just thinking it would be nice to show his resting place some love”

You could take the vampire out of the... something witty and to do with handyman antics, but you couldn’t take them out of the vampire

“Babe, you don’t have to do that”

“I want to. I want to make it look nice, so everyone knows he’s loved. And when the twins come, they’ll know it’s their grandfather’s grave and that he would have loved them very much”

“Wait... this is too much”

“Sorry. Sometimes I go off in my own head, which you know. I don’t mean to sound like I’m pressuring you. I mean, it is making an assumption and stuff. I just thought it’d be nice to come back to”

“You... want to come back?”

“He’s your dad. I think I’m going to make it a thing... but only if it’s okay with you”

They’d only just found his father again. This was a bit too much for him right now

“Can I think about it?”

“Of course. Sorry, I’m being overbearing. Okay. In the future I think it’d be nice to put something here, but for now we’ll pick up some nice flowers to bring back”

“Yeah. That’d be nice... I don’t even know where to start...”

Lance wanted to track down as much about his father as he could. It still felt kind of weird that Lance cared and wanted him to know about his dad... then again, Mami had filled Lance with so much love that Lance probably couldn’t help himself

“Then we’ll figure things out together. I’m sorry, I’ve got to sit for a bit. Will you be okay with having a few moments alone?”

Keith blinked. Then realised Lance wasn’t simply blushing, he was getting sunburnt...

“Yeah. I... I feel better about talking to him”

“You take your time. I’ll be waiting in the car. Please don’t rush because of me”

“I won’t... I mean, maybe a little”

Lance bumped him with his elbow

“Don’t be mean to your dad. He’s waited all this time. Make sure you have a good talk with him. I mean, how am I supposed to tell Mami I made you fuss too much? She’d kick my arse”

“Yeah. She would. I won’t be too long... because we’re coming back... right?”

“Yeah, babe. We’ll be back so many times he’ll be sick of us. I love you”

“I love you, too”

Lance left him with a kiss on the cheek. Keith needing a few moments to steady himself, before deciding maybe he could start with the easy stuff then work up to the really painful parts of his past. His dad loved him... he loved him and he had so much to tell him.

#once bitten twice stupid #oncebittentwicestupid #ashratherose

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saintheartwing · 4 years ago

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Lily’s Post about Mary Sues

Let’s analyze this.

None of those series you mentioned have characters that could be labelled as Mary Sues

Clark Kent, Goku, Luke, Anakin, Kirk.

Okay, a Mary Sue or Gary Stu has to be, basically, either an author avatar or stand-in, they tend to be beautiful or really handsome, have unusual, or dramatic backtories, are “chosen one” types, all of the main characters in the group will love them or admire them and those that don’t are always portrayed as in the wrong for not doing so, this kind of thing. They tend to be overpowered as well and they possess unique, special powers. They’ve basically overpowered, over-idealized, beloved by anybody and if you DON’T like them, you’re clearly in the wrong. Oh, and everything they do is treated as good, and if they DO screw up, hey, it’s no big deal. Any actual flaws are negligible or nonexistent. Like being “Naive” or wearing their heart on their sleeve.

Let’s take a look at...Superman. Well, he’s got several big weaknesses. Kryptonite, for one. And Magic. HUGELY weak against magic. He IS overpowered and he is mostly beloved by everyone...but he has made a LOT of mistakes. Especially when it comes to Batman. Whenever Batman is involved in a story with him, it’s Batman who’s right, and Superman who’s in the wrong. Pretty much all the time. “Darkseid is dead, Superman.” “You know what Bruce? You’re not always right!” But Batman WAS right, at least technically. Batman regularly beats Superman in several stories. So Clark isn’t always treated as right. On top of that, he does have some real character flaws of constantly being torn between wanting to do more and being afraid of how far he should go. And when you have GODLY strength, that’s a huge exploit, especially for supervillains. But...he does fill a lot of the Mary Sue tropes, so we’ll give Lily some credit.

Goku? Well Goku is a moron. The story always treats his stupidity as being a huge problem. One that CONTINUES to cause issues, and has even nearly gotten his world destroyed a few times. He’s even gotten himself and his friends KILLED cuz he couldn’t think of any other way but to sacrifice himself or the like. AND he has serious anger issues. When he’s furious, he’s almost uncontrollable. The only person more so is Vegeta. He’s also a pig who eats too much but we can sorta overlook that last one because being a glutton is played more for laughs and “He needs it to keep up his strength”. How about his powers? Well he’s DEFINITELY overpowered. Is he handsome? Well, he looks pretty good. And he’s well-liked by pretty much the whole main cast except for, of course, the villains. So we could say...yeah. Goku’s kinda Mary Sue-ish.

Luke? Well...not really. Luke isn’t naturally gifted or talented like Goku or Superman were. Despite having the POTENTIAL to be great, his Jedi skills started out so poor he couldn’t even block blaster bolts using the force alone. He had to train for weeks if not months under Yoda just to get somewhat up to snuff and he STILL failed. “Don’t go into that cave with your weapons”. He goes in. Sees Darth Vader and...oh, wait, it’s HIMSELF he’s killed! You were put to the test and you failed. He can’t lift large objects with the Force. He’s reckless, he doesn’t think things through and he often has to rely on help from OTHERS to succeed. He only got that one-in-a-million shot on the Death Star because Obi Wan’s ghost spoke to him in his head to help guide him. He only got away from the first Death Star because Obi Wan sacrificed himself. Throughout the first two films, he’s just not good enough. He loses to Darth Vader MISERABLY, and he even loses his HAND. A real Mary Sue would have won, or at least held Darth Vader off, or tied. Worse still, he’s not just dangerously reckless and kind of whiny...he’s got a serious anger problem that rises up in the films, he almost outright gives in to the dark side. But other than that, he’s just some country bumpkin who happened to luck out at finding the right droid. All his powers, he basically earned, showing a classic heroes’s journey growth. So that, combined with the huge failures in the first few movies and even if we factor in the sequels and the stupid, dumb decisions he made...he’s not a Mary Sue. A Mary Sue wouldn’t f--k up that much. Or if they did, it wouldn’t be treated as his own fault, or as a bad thing. It’d be brushed off.

Anakin! OHHH boy. This guy is a whiny little brat. I don’t know if people realize this, but...Lily, NOBODY LIKED ANAKIN. Anakin was unlikable BECAUSE he was a Mary Sue. You DO realize this, right? He was overpowered, treated as the chosen one, and he was super whiny at that. But you know what? At least the story treated him doing awful stuff as the wrong thing. Him being reckless? A bad thing. He should listen to Obi Wan more. Him casually killing someone through the back in the Clone Wars? A bad thing, he could have just knocked the guy out or cut his arm or hand off, what he did was murder. Anakin murdering the entire tribe of Sand People that kidnapped his mom, leading to her death? Shown as a VERY bad thing because he slaughtered ALL of them, even women and children. Anakin becoming Sith and killing kids? SUPER bad thing.

So at the very least, him doing morally reprehensible things is treated as genuinely bad. At least the story calls him out on this.

Kirk? Uh, Kirk is just a random human. He’s not exactly super strong or super intelligent. He’s clever and he’s fairly skilled in combat, and he’s definitely good looking, but he’s no ‘chosen one’ like so many of the others. Has he got flaws? Yeah, he’s got a temper. And he flagrantly disregards the rules. And he DEFINITELY is something of a skirt chaser. But he’s not exactly overpowered enough to be considered a Mary Sue. He hasn’t GOT enough powers at all to be counted as one. Plus, when you consider how he died? A real Mary Sue would get a far better and more dramatic death, if they died at all. So Kirk? Ahhh, not really. He’s not a Mary Sue. He’s just not powerful enough to be one and he’s no chosen one.

But your characters? Well, let’s see. Rey is a chosen one. So is Aliana. And Aliana is descended from a LONG LINE of superpowerful Sith. She’s basically “old money”. It runs in the blood. Pretty Mary Sue right there. They’re overpowered? Yep. Very. They easily beat the crap out of Kylo Ren. Do all the main characters like them? Yeah. And any that don’t are always treated as wrong, like Leia, or enemies, like Kylo Ren. They fit the definitions to a T.

can never be wrong

“So are a lot of characters in popular culture”

Except that’s not true. Superman, as I’ve shown, has been wrong quite a lot, especially when arguing against Batman, or Wonder Woman. Superman having to kill three Kryptonians who had did a literal genocide of an alternate Earth was portrayed as VERY wrong and it haunted him for years and years. Anakin was VERY, VERY wrong. The minute you do mass murder, you kinda instantly become wrong. Kirk ends up being very wrong in the final film he’s in. He doesn’t want to leave his heavenly alternate reality, it’s PICARD who has to convince him to stop being selfish. Goku is stupidly wrong when dealing with Cell, he really screws up and it gets his mentor and a few of his friends killed because he couldn’t think of a better way to get rid of the about-to-explode Cell than to teleport him to King Kai’s moon. He could have just teleported him, say, the serpent bridge, THEN teleported back if he really thought the explosion was gonna be so big it’d take out the entire world but...nope! Then there’s how he handled Majin Buu. He THINKS he doesn’t have to use fusion with his son. After all, Majin Buu has just lost a ton of power! He and his son can beat him normally...then Majin Buu catches him off guard and claims his son. Nice going, Goku, he was weak and instead of doing what everyone told you to do, you whiffed because you assumed you could handle it. And then there was his whole “Okay Vegeta, you finish off Frieza while he’s all Golden”. Big mistake. Frieza does a self-destructive attack that BLOWS UP THE ENTIRE WORLD and Whis has to literally TURN. BACK. TIME to fix this. Thanks, Goku. You COULDA just finished Frieza off like you did last time, but noooo! You had to indulge your friend’s ego. Luke? Luke’s been wrong a ton of times. Even if we ignore the sequels and the stupid way he handled Kylo Ren and hiding off on some podunk island, he ignored Yoda’s advice multiple times, he took off to fight Darth Vader, and he lost miserably.

Basically, every time these people do something wrong...it is, for the most part, TREATED as the wrong move by the story. That’s NOT the case for Aliana or Rey. Casually killing a guard for harassing a refugee? Cold blooded murder? Not portrayed as wrong. Overkill of guards at Canto Bight? Not even REMOTELY called out, nor the whole “mass forced suicide” thing. Killing Rey’s parents in cold blood when they were unarmed? Barely glanced over. What’s portrayed as wrong was keeping that a secret, not the MURDER thing. SHOOTING LEIA WITH ELECTRICITY? Not even REMOTELY treated as going too far.

are always victims

“Can’t imagine why a woman who suffers from PTSD writes characters who have suffered trauma in their lives. It’s a fucking mystery.”

You realize though this makes Aliana an author-avatar/stand in though, and that enforces the whole “she’s a Mary Sue” thing, right?

and bend the narrative to suit their needs

“If they were villains you wouldn’t complain about it this insessantly.”

But they’re NOT villains. When a story has a hero doing this, even when it has a villain doing this, that’s bad writing. Having Leia reasonably point out the fact that the Republic has every good reason to not trust a Sith and Aliana can’t just bully them into going along with everything she wants...and then having Aliana just SPONTANEOUSLY summon her own WAR FLEET to go “Sword of Damocles” on Leia and the Republic? That’s bad writing. It comes out of nowhere, no build up, and exists ONLY to tell Leia and anybody who has a problem with how Aliana’s doing things to SHUT UP I’M IN CHARGE. It’s bullying, bad writing.

Also, those other characters mentioned have other characters who will call out people like Luke or Kirk if they mess up. And Luke and Kirk or Goku will go “Yeah, you’re right, I should listen to you” and they have to change...or at least say they’ll try to. Does anybody in your story do that? Well...no. Because ANY objection to how Rey or Aliana does things is treated as BAD and WRONG because they’re the main characters, and thus everything they do is right, even if it’s morally repulsive and if ANOTHER character shot lightning at a middle-aged woman for a nasty comment, they’d be the bad guy.

Anyway, said my piece. Lily really has absolutely no self-reflection on this. She can’t handle actual criticism. All this is is DEFLECTION and PIVOTING away from your own story’s problems. It’s very easy to crow about how popular your work is when you dismiss and delete all actual critique and criticism.

#Star Wars #Sith Resurgence #the sith resurgence #lily orchard #mary sue #fanfiction #fanfics #Aliana #Rey

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tellywoodtrash · 4 years ago

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immj2 12.11.20 lb

well………….. let’s get this the fuck over with. isske baad pls god let this show go back to their random tuchchi saazishein. mere se itna action jhela nahi jaata.

ok back to dead inside vansh who is analyzing every single interaction with riddhima and musing about DHOKAAAAAAA DHOKAAAAAAAA DHOKAAAAAAAA

lmaoooooooooooooooooooooooo kabir is like “itne saalon se tum mere liye itneeee bade sardard the, but finally ab khel khatam.” dude i love this caviler fucker.

but tell me these caps don’t look like kabir expressing a whole other sentiment:

damnnnnn, dat chemistry. seriously, 10x what riddhima has with vansh. i am so mad that we’re not getting these two as endgame.

aaaaaand the handcuffs are out. mmmhmmmm. kinky!

mummy be like ARRE AISE KAISE TUM DONO HI SAARE OSCARS LOOTOGE KYA, MERE KO BHI CHAHIYE I AM ALSO PERFORMERR and throwing herself in front of vansh and giving passionate defense.

this one also like chalo my turn nowwwwww.

human angry bird is like NOT ON MY WATCH YOU FUCK.

DUDE WHAT ARE THESE LOOKS THEY’RE GIVING EACH OTHER THERE’S SO MUCH SEXUAL TENSION HERE I CAN’T TAKE IT

asljdaslkjdlaskjdlaskjdlaskjldkj kabirrrrrrrrrrrr’s internal monologue: “haath mein hathkadi lag gayi, phir bhi tashan nahi gaya tumhara” hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

RIDDHIMA IS STILL FUCKING RUNNING. FROM FUCKING BANDRA, WHERE THE FACTORY OR WHATEVER WAS, TO BLOODY ANDHERI, WHERE THE VR MANSION IS. DUDE, MUMBAI MARATHON CHAL RAHA HAI KYA IDHAR????????

unf the way kabir pushed vansh towards the van. big Top energy.

THIS SCENE HAS JUST SOOOOOOO MUCH FUCKING SEXUAL TENSION I’M LITERALLY HERE LIKE

LIKE I’M REALLY FEELING SOME KINDA FUNNY WAY, THAT I’VE NEVER FELT IN THE VANSH/RIDDHIMA SCENES.

oh yeah in between that mummy was doing some more mother india acting, ki iski sazaa mujhe de dijiye and all, but HONESTLY WHO CAN PAY ATTN TO THAT MESS WHEN THERE’S BHAAARI SEX EYES GOING ON HERE???????

ok now that they’ve driven away, i’ll focus on her. yes, very cool acting. iss saal ka manikchand gutka jio fiama di wills colors golden petal stardust whatever the fuck award aapke hi liye.

riddhima also managed to medal in the marathon, and reach justttttttt as they pull outta the gates.

back to the Sexy Van™

ohhhhhhhhhhh boyyyyyyy, kabir instructing mishra to go off the path.

“vansh raisinghania, apne life ke sabse bade adventure ke liye taiyaar ho jao.”

DUDE THESE TWO ARE KINKY AS FUCK.

lmao vansh is like don’t write checks you can’t cash, don’t be promising orgasms you won’t be giving, “dhamki toh dhang ki dete.”

“vansh tumhe andaaza nahi ki kitni shiddat ke saath maine aaj ke din ka intezaar kiya hai. aaj meri zindagi ka sabse bada din hai!”

well damn, me too. i didn’t know that this was the pairing i was gonna end up shipping SO HARD but here we are!

ok mummy has seen riddhima and she tries to shoot her but riddhima drove the fuck away. good for her.

they have reached that random maidaan where every outdoor sequence on tellywood happens.

mishra can you gtfooooooooo from in between the hot boy sandwich??????

this dude is hottest when his eyes squinty.

OUFFFFFFFFFFFF THE SMILESSSSSSSSSS

TBH I’M NOT EVEN PAYING ATTN TO THE TRASH TALK THEY’RE DOING I’M JUST HERE LIKE KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS

kabir freeing him, which nooooooooooooo, i wanted to see some hot handcuff actionnnnnn. vansh is as disappointed as i am.

anyway some searing indictments of our country’s legal system by kabir, about no matter how much proof he collects, rich ppl anyway get away with whatever. and so will vansh. sooooooo, he’s like i just needed to arrest you and break your ego, blah blah. which, yeah right. like anyone with one working brain cell doesn’t know you’re gonna shoot him down in an encounter for trying to flee police custody.

some more flirty banter. and then……..

yup.

damn, those some cat-like reflexes.

vansh like, i knew your bitch ass would pull some shit like this.

fuck fuck fuck fuck so much sexy him walking up to the gun like that.

ofc there have to be some BE A MAN type dumbass dhamkis. you know what real men do??? KISS THEIR RIVALS WHOM THEY HAVE THIS MUCH HOMOEROTIC TENSION WITHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

DANG KABIR HESITATEDDDDDDDD. HE COULDN’T DO IT. IT’S RIGHT OUTTA THE FIGHT SCENE BEFORE THE SEX SCENE IN MR. AND MRS. SMITHHHHHH.

aaaaaand that pause was enough for vansh to start beating the fuck outta him. yeah i don’t care. the only thing i wanna see you two wrestle is TONGUES.

mmmmmmhmmmmm just a lil closer, come onnnnn you stupid fucks.

ok they’re back to pounding on each other IN THE NON FUN WAY so fwding.

aaaaaaaaand riddhima is following her special Vansh Tracker App. I REALLY DON’T CARE.

told y’all K had Big Top Energy. oh yeahhhhhhhhhh, choke him, daddy!

ok they back to hitting each other.

ooooh nice callback to that firstttt fight they had where kabir threw sand in vansh’s eyes and then vansh fought blindfolded.

back to sexy banter.

“dil, dimaag, aur taaqat. teeno hi tumse kayiiii zyaada hai mujh mein.” LIFE MEIN CONFIDENCE CHAHIYE, TOH OF AN RICH, UPPER CASTE, MALE PSYCHOPATH ON TELLYWOOD.

he’s walking backwards to the edge of the cliff as he keeps talking. sigh.

“dushman mein woh dum kahan ke mera kuch bigaad sake. woh toh apne the jo dagaa de gaye, sazza de gaye.” waaaaaah waaaaaah!!!! THE PSYCHOPATH WAS A POET AND WE DIDN’T KNOW IT!

walking back some more.

“main aaj bhi vansh raisinghania hi hoon. meri maut bhi mujhse pooch ke mere paas aati hai.” this fucker nicolas flamel or what, with the philosopher’s stone????

“kissi tuchche insaan ki gun se chali goli ko ijaazat nahi ke meri jaan le sake. maine apni zindagi khud banaayi hai, kabir; aur iske aage kya hoga naa tum decide karoge, na tumhare haath mein yeh pistol. the choice is mine.”

pehli baar this dude’s tashan has been effective for me. IT’S COZ THE DIALOGUE DELIVERY IS MEASURED AND HE’S SAYING IT FULL OF MIRTH, INSTEAD OF GRINDING HIS TEETH AND YELLING. SEEE WHAT A FUCKING DIFFERENCE IT MAKES????????

anyway kabir is like, cool, your funeral. as vansh continues to walk backwards. it’s hilarious kabir thinks he has anyyyy control in this scene anymore.

le. aa gayi. dhaaansu scene kharaab karne.

vansh having ALL TEH FLASHBACKS. poor sad eyed puppy.

“tum log kya kar rahe ho?!!?!?” BITCH THEY WERE ABOUT TO GET IT ON, BUT NOW NO THANKS TO YOU……………….

blah blah usual ishq nahi aasaan aag ka dariya hai doob ke jaana hai blah blah from piya psychopath

“aaj apne dhoke ke aag ki dariya mein dubo hi diya na tumne mujhe, riddhima?”

i’m sure this is some kasautiii kinda metaphor, ki they’re working together, or like….. he actually does trust her… or some such shit, but i can’t be arsed to analyse anything with this dumbass show. it doesn’t deserve it.

kabir watching this whole angst ridden scene with such horny eyes, i can’t even…………………

obligatory placement of show naam. tashan mein usko lete lete, JAI MATA DIIIIIIIIIIIII, LET’S ROCK.

if this isn’t the Biggest Mood for 2020, idk what is. vansh finally being relatable to the rest of us normals.

yeah whatever. i really don’t care about you. i’m more devastated ki when will i get such a KaValicious sexual tension filled episode next??!?!?!?!!? probably next fucking year now. ugh. bloody waste show, forcing us to watch this het bullshit.

let’s end this with a nice pic of this face. i think we’ve all earned it.

#ishq mein marjawan 2 #immj2 #immj2 lbs #episode liveblogs

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dxrksong · 4 years ago

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Chapter 3 part 2

Things get real

-------

You all ran inside, heading to the kitchen. Things were all fine when the Jims froze at the kitchen door

Y/N: "Something wrong Jim?"

CameraJim: "Uh-well…"

Cherry pushed passed the twins

Red: "I suggest you stop beating around the bush and-"

Cherry froze as well and the moment you heard HIS voice, you knew why.

Mark: "Now now, let's not all stare at me and hold up dinner!"

Slowly Cherry and the Jims walked into the room and taking their respective seats. Eventually you had to walk in to, looking around and realizing unhappily that the only chairs that were left were either right next to him or still within arms reach.

Mark: "ah! Y/N! Just the elusive-"

You started walking away. You're not eating with him anywhere NEAR you.

Actually you might throw up if you tried. The sheer anger and disgust he makes you feel, makes you feel uneasy and anxious and just flat out nauseous sometimes.

Almost as if you had just downed a whole gallon of alcohol among other things.

Mark: "Y/N! Oh come on, don't be like that! Why won't you talk to me??"

Dark tried to say something but you drowned him out as Something snapped in your head, nothing but anger so hot it nearly broiled in your mind as You stopped, turning around on your feet sharply as you glared daggers at him

Y/N: "Oh you want to know why I won't speak to a man that's notorious for the partial blame of me being in the mirror? A man that has this downright CREEPY obsession with me when I bearly remember you? Yes, I remember SOME but that's about it. Most of the time you're just a fuzzy little memory in the back of my head that refuses to surface. And with everything I DO remember of you is nothing short of TOXIC!! So You know what?! No! No I won't speak to you!! And do you wanna know why?!"

Your voice started to crack, A ringing in your ears as you didn't bother holding back, feeling you hair stand on end and the ego's seeming to flinch at your outburst

Y/N: "You killed my friends, forced them against each other, ruined my marriage, forced everyone to go INSANE AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T HANDLE YOUR GIRL LEAVING YOU AND DIDN'T BOTHER TO GET HELP OR DROWN IN ICECREAM LIKE A NORMAL PERSON DOES AND INSTEADS GOES FOR MURDER!!! So No! No, I won't speak to you! You're just a whiney little baby that no one wants to deal with that cries all the time and doesn't bother trying to anything yourself or shuts the fuck up and DEALS WITH IT *BECAUSE YOU'RE OVER A CENTURY OLD!!!!*"

You were panting once you finished your little rant, the entire room speechless. Slowly you realized what you had done and said, Mark's face twisted in shock, surprise, and maybe just a dash of fear, Dark's surprisingly no different

Even after all this time….

Oh how you'd love to see it more. But you have important matters to attend to. You straightened yourself upright before walking away towards your room, hands behind your back to keep your posture positive even as you slowly broke down in the halls, picking up the pace once you were out of sight from them.

You can't believe you just did that! You can't believe what you just said!! A ruined marriage…? On top of all THAT?!

The poor DA…...no wonder they turned to dreaming….it's much better than out here!!

You busted into your room, slamming and locking it shut behind you. You collapsed onto the edge of your bed, burying your head into your arms as you sobbed and bawled. You just wanted this day to end already, maybe turn back time and pick a different route.

You just need more time.

"Oh child…"

"We all do…."

You looked up and you saw two very familiar shapes.

Unus and Annus

"Y-you guys..?"

They smiled warmly at you.

"Now, you may not really remember us"

"And though our time may be up"

"We got you a little something."

Unus and annus took out an hourglass, setting it in front of you, on your bed. It was black and white, the lids/roofs being in a black and white spiral with the walls being black and the skulls being white. The sand was also black too.

"To always remember us by"

"And just remember."

"Never. Forget the ticking of the clock"

You could hear it in your head, you watching the sand go down in the hourglass as the clock ticked over and over again, progressively getting slower with each second until…..

The sand stopped all together, frozen in time.

"You have a wonderful gift Y/N! Don't be afraid, to use it!"

"And remember. Don't let ANYONE tell you what you can and can't do"

You paused before smiling and nodding

"Y-yeah!.....thank you I-"

They were gone. Were they even here to begin with? You looked over to your bed, seeing the hourglass still there. You smiled once more and picked it up, setting it on your dresser.

You looked up, peering into your reflection. An empty eyed version of you looked back at you and strangely.

You didn't feel afraid

Your smile turned into a grin as you stared right into your reflection before opening your mouth and uttering your command

"Play!"

------------

The ego's watched tensly as Mark sat at the table. Mark wasn't really welcome here, that fight from earlier being more than enough proof of that. As the last members of the table arrived, they had given a shocked pause like the rest of them.

Mark: "Now now, let's not all stare at me and hold up dinner!"

The Jims had nodded slowly and unsurely as the Red Googleplier took it's seat. However when Y/N walked into the room, the room suddenly got more intense than before.

Y/N wanted nowhere near Mark, that much was obvious as they started to walk away from the dining room all together. The Jims were originally going to get up and join them but what happened next practically glued them to their seats.

They had seen this before, back at the manor before Y/N had woken up from their coma. A kind of feralistic energy made by sheer RAGE that cracked their body from the inside out.

Just like the broken mirror.

Except it was worse this time somehow, like a predator that had just found it's prey cornered and helpless.

Y/N screeched at the top of their lungs, the terrible ringing sound they emitted completely drowning out Dark's aura, leaving the man stunned.

But that wasn't all. Y/N's eyes…...they were dilated like a cat's, a loud growling being heard in the background of their screaming.

It hurt to hear and see all that at once as Y/N continued on. until finally….they left...leaving the room even more tense than it was before.

Wil: w-well now…..that was certainly….something.

Host: the host would like to remind Mark, Dark, and Wil about the warning the host had given the trio earlier that morning. That is no longer the same gentle Y/N from a century ago. And if you three keep pushing them they might do something you won't like.

CameraJim: wh-what about us BookJim?

Host: The host feels it IS a little nessasary to say the warning only correlates to these three as they had known Y/N longer than the rest of the manor egos.

The Jims sighed before looking at each other and nodding

MicJim: whelp, we're gonna go to bed!

Dark: Jims, what are you hiding?

The jims froze, looking at each other before looking to Dark

CameraJim: why-what ever do you mean StaticJim?

Wilford squinted his eyes

Wil: are you two hiding something from us?

Bim: mind sharing?

Blue Google: not everyday the JIMS of all people hide things. Suspicious behavior indeed.

CameraJim: wh-what???? No!! Jims would NEVER-

Dark: Jims. Where DID you find Y/N in the first place?

The Jims once again shared a glance before the one holding the camera sighed and gave up

CameraJim: we call MirrorJim 'MirrorJim' for a reason, Static-i mean *sighs*

MicJim: Jims….MAY have ignored StaticJim's advice and had gone to the spooky manor-HEAR JIM OUT!!!

Dark looked to be three seconds away from yelling.

MicJim: Jim didn't touch anything like StaticJim said but something happened with Jim's ouija board and next thing Jim knew MirrorJim had suddenly appeared!

CameraJim nodded his head vigorously

CameraJim: But something was wrong with MirrorJim! MirrorJim didn't respond to anything Jim was saying, their eyes were completely empty, and when Jim tried to get too close, MirrorJim would chase us around the house before returning to the area Jim found MirrorJim in!

MicJim: Jims stayed when Jim realized that the story was huge so Jims stayed behind despite Jim instinct and next thing Jims knew, MirrorJim had suddenly woke up!

Dark: so you knew about this the ENTIRE TIME?

CameraJim: J-Jims didn't think it was important….

Dark's aura began to ring louder and louder, the Jims flinching before running away from Dark's wrath.

Part 2

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tsukihoshino · 5 years ago

Text

Super long Sasori post

I’m going to begin this by saying everyone is entitled to their view on Sasori and how to characterize him within the parameters set up by canon or whatever AU/Bent Timeline a person has inserted him into but I do believe there are certain things about him that remain the same no matter what situation you put him in-- otherwise he’s just no longer Sasori (IMO.) So much of his character is about hyper analyzing his words and actions, and what others have said about him through a microscope because the fact of the matter is for such an interesting character he really had such little time.

I was originally not going to bring shipping into this but as I was writing Sasosaku kinda slipped in there, mostly because it felt like it provided a good contrast to what we get of Sasori in canon and how it can translate into fanon.

(All of these opinions are based on the Manga and the Akatsuki formation because OP cannot be assed with novels and filler for the most part...Making an exception for Komushi.)

1. He’s highly manipulative. He’s a puppet master and he has a spy ring. He gathers information so he can use it against people, he manipulates the corpses of what used to be people--or things that LOOK, very often like people. That says a lot about who he is as a person.

And when you first see his real face, when he reveals himself to Chiyo this is the face you get;

I don’t get the impression that he’s actually happy to see her given the events that follow, its largely about trying to put his grandmother off center and BOTHER her. Sasori is perfectly capable of acting to get to a desired result--which makes a lot of sense to me because while Bunraku is largely about the Narrator's words there is also the performance element to it via the puppets.

2. He’s all about control. Control of himself, of others, of events. It's really an offshoot of manipulation but I don’t think Sasori blinks without putting thought into the action. ( I mean technically, lmao given his unique anatomy in canon that might be 100% accurate.)

3. He’s not only an artist. The guy is the very definition of being a mad scientist. He sits at a place where Art and Science meet and become something more. It's not one or the other when it comes to Sasori, there is something almost Frankenstein like in the way that he creates his human puppets, the 3rd and himself. Think about the knowledge that had to go into that from basic human anatomy to the chakra system as a whole. I mean we never get a play by play on HOW he did it but we know he’s the only one who ever did and then repeated a similar, much more complicated process on himself.

Then there is his poison, we know he’s primarily relied on the infamous one because it was sooo effective (until it wasn’t, thanks Sakura.) But we have to assume given how he is Sasori makes ART out of deadly concoctions and methods of murder.

To him synthesizing that poison was probably no different than an artist trying to get that perfect shade of red.

The weird thing about Sasori ( and I guess it's just ONE of the many weird things) Is that for an Artist he is very...clinical. When we think about people in the arts we often imagine passionate people like Deidara--bombastic and flamboyant free spirits.

4. Logical and likely to the extreme.

He’s not a sore loser. When he loses and it's fair he accepts it. He's not bitter about the end of his fight with Sakura and Chiyo, he’s not pissy with Konan--he respects it because to Sasori the weak die and the strong survive, losers don’t have a right to complain when they shoulda got gud to begin with.

I don’t doubt that in Sasori’s logical mind he came to the conclusion that his parents died because they were weak. Ergo unlike Chiyo he’s just completely unaffected by seeing Kakashi, the world just followed its natural order in the death of his parents.

He’s got a reptile brain and he just sort of views people as animals because it's probably simpler--except for himself. He thinks he’s above that, to himself he is a god.

The thing with Komushi...I perceive it as largely an accident but in Sasori’s “perfectly” logical mind he was just like well: it’s sort of Komushi’s own fault and never let a tragedy go to waste because again, hyper logical. Not only that but he was BEGGED to do something for Komushi and there really was nothing to be done for him at that point other than make something useful out of his death.

The problem with being TOO logical is that it is just as detrimental as being too emotional. If we all just went around doing what was logical we’d be no different than animals or machines. Logic dictates we do whatever it takes to survive and come out on top even at the expense of others but because we are balanced by emotion most people don’t live like that.

On the flipside because he’s logical he can be convinced by compelling arguments without ego getting in the way. In this same vein he finds it very difficult to feel sorry about things he’s done in the past but when able to recognize it was wrong he can accept it and simply resolve not to do it in the future--he doesn’t have the capacity to agonize over feelings of guilt.

5. He hates being lied to and he’s impatient. Sasori will lie to everyone around him and even to himself if he can manage it but if he finds out He’s the one being lied to? Intense hate. See points 1&2.

6. He’s blunt and often rude when acting as his natural self. I don’t find the need to explain this one much.

7. Sasori is largely self-focused. He thinks he has a perfect handle on himself and understands exactly why he is the way he is--but it couldn’t be further from the truth. He really doesn’t understand his own feelings much less those of others and what he does understand he often doesn’t care about. This can be changed if a person is able to get through to him.

This is the guy who thought that by removing his concious from a human body and sticking it into what's basically a decorative vase all his problems would MAGICALLY vanish. Because as smart as he is, he was also desperate to escape his own feelings not realizing that when you pour the water in one glass into another glass the contents remain the same.

No matter how hard he tries he cannot escape the problem plaguing him; himself.

8. Sasori does not value life, not his own and certainly not others. Unless you are like that ONE person who is able to get through to him. He has what I would call a “Very narrow heart.” which simply does not have a lot of space for people. To him it's probably Sasori and “That Person” VS the world.

9. He likes things that last, sculptures and paintings, classical music and literature, things that have been around for ages and withstood the trials of time.

10. He does not do well on his own. He thinks he does but he really doesn’t, when he is by himself he is destructive. When he feels alone he is at his most dangerous. Sasori is very much a person who NEEDS someone to essentially be his emotional center otherwise we get him turning himself into a puppet in what amounted to a one longass theatrical suicide.

11. Sasori was probably always a little...different even as a kid but environment and events certainly played a role. His parents died at an early age and he was essentially lied to and given false hope. (hence the impatience and hatred of lies.) Throw into that an intellect seldom seen in a time of war where child soldiers are the norm. He killed his first person at 8, he earned himself a title denoting that he was so good at killing he soaked the sands in blood. Imagine what that's like at 8, getting a pat on the head everytime you kill someone?

Of course you would become conditioned to believe that killing is right and good when you’re being congratulated and rewarded for being proficient at it.

Its assumption on my part but I do believe Sasori lays somewhere on the Antisocial Personality Disorder spectrum.

12. He’s vain AF. Look at him. He made sure to replicate himself in his prime to perfect detail in the places that were most visible, his face and his hands. He could have made himself look like anything but in the end he still chose that form.

13. When he wants something he makes a plan and gets it done. Doesn’t matter how long or what he has to do to get to point A to point B he’s going to do it.

14. He has three main expressions; blank, smug and insane.

15: His power levels are again, insane. He is a master of multiple trades. The guy ganked a Kage at 15 the strongest one Sand ever had by that point, ( Orochimaru was waay older and came out way more damaged as far as we know when he fought Sarutobi.) toppled a nation, made himself a new body with mysterious methods.

It's time for the Sasosaku bit:

Part of the reason why I think the two of them fit so well together is that they are opposites and yet complimentary. Sakura is an antidote and Sasori is the poison, but sometimes a medicine can become a poison and a poison can be used as medicine. Sakura is a close range combatant and Sasori is long but they have this odd intersection of skill sets and interest. They both deal in the human body and the manipulation of it, Sakura’s focus is to maintain it as it is and improve its condition if needed and Sasori’s is to both destroy and create it anew all at once.

If they weren’t trying to kill one another in canon they would have had tons to talk about.

Ultimately Sakura gets gut stabbed not because he was aiming for her but because she got LITERALLY in the way of a family feud. He was going for Chiyo and you can assume that's because he thought his grandma was the bigger threat or because he was still bitter about the past on some subconscious level and was gunning for her--i mean he goes in for Chiyo a second time after he disconnects from the arm Sakura was death gripping. But Sakura’s selfless action is something that viscerally shocks him:

And it only gets worse when Chiyo starts feeding her life force into Sakura--a second selfless act on the part of someone he hates and feels wronged by.

Sakura values life and Sasori doesn’t because he doesn’t understand it. He was raised his whole life to think that people like them--Shinobi had no value other than to kill or to be killed. He’s visibly shocked when she starts yelling after socking him in the face about Human lives and family bonds. Like no one had ever mentioned that to him before and forget about risking your life to save someone else's, that goes against his logical lizard brain.

At that point he’s already beaten, he’s already impressed with her. It’s right after her punching him that Sasori gives what amounts to an odd marriage proposal IMO. It was completely pointless of him to even bring it up but you can tell by the “Glint” in his eye that he meant it.

Sasori: Want to become like me? You’ll get what I mean. An undecaying body, Unfettered by a mortal lifespan, capable of being rebuilt over and over again. ( if you were immortal would you offer immortality to someone you had no interest in? Not me. I wouldn’t want to have them around for virtually “forever” in any shape or form. And Sasori is not talking about making Sakura into just some controllable puppet, he’s talking about being JUST like him, sentient thought and movement.)

Sasori: I can make as many people as I want out of puppets….-Looks dead at Sakura- If I want them...but my collection isn’t just about quantity. Quality is important too.

That whole conversation is like A CREEPY FLIRTATION from him because we know what he considers “True beauty” to be. Eternal.

And then it comes to a head where he gives her a “sentimental reward” in the information she wanted. Now I’m not saying Sakura was interested or anything but it seems like he was in some shape or form.

In my opinion when you put someone like Sakura--who is brilliant and logical but also heavily swayed by her emotions with someone like Sasori, brilliant, logical and emotionally repressed. A person who values life with someone who neither values their own life or others what you get is agitation.

Agitation is not a bad thing, it breaks stagnation--which is what, imo drives Sasori to his death. It is the lack of change, he’s made it so he cannot feel physically and he has tried his hardest and for the most part succeeded in numbing his inner feelings.

Part of me is convinced that what ultimately kills him is complacency. He gets so used to being at the top that when he is confronted with someone who neutralizes his life’s work and destroys his collection and keeps confronting and beating him with all the qualities he deems useless and pointless it just drives home the point that everything he has ever done or thought was in vain and on some level wrong. There is no point in winning against them because everything is already destroyed. There is no going back to what he was before, therefore death is preferable.

Through Sakura, in Au’s or alt timelines, or w/e she is able to reach him through their similarities but change him due to the fundamental differences in their nature.

As to what Sakura gets from Sasori; Someone who clearly respects her skills and understands her interests because his own align--and therefore would be supportive and present. The two of them actually have things in common and therefore shit to talk about.

In that same vein Sasori seems like the type of person who if he were to fall in love it is to the point of obsession, for someone who was repressed and held themselves apart from others I see him in a lot of ways as almost touch, and certainly affection starved. It becomes addictive to him. (Which is probably why when I write him he’s handsy.)

We know how Sakura likes to take care of people--we see it with Naruto, Sasuke and Sai. In some of these cases it is often to the detriment of her own well being and Sasori, the selfish person that he is, can reign that in and pull it back so that it isn’t so all consuming. (mostly because the only person she should be worried about is herself and him.)

In the end, If Sasori is the logic and Sakura is the emotion, what you end up with is something more balanced. In the same way that if you were to mix a Poison with an Antidote you would end up with a neutralization.

These are just my personal opinions and thoughts on the matter.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also I headcanon that Sasori is basically Sakura-sexual so -cough- there. I guess that's a topic for another time...

Look at all these conceited Sasori faces:

#Sasori #Sasosaku #Its long

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lady-divine-writes · 4 years ago

Text

A Change in the Weather AU (inspired by Cacophonylights's A Change in the Weather) - Chapter 30

Read on AO3.

(Author’s note - the above cover gives hint about this chapter, and chapter 31 :D)

Kurt appreciates drama.

He appreciates it to a degree rivaled only by his dad’s love of NASCAR and Finn’s obsession with grilled cheese sandwiches.

It might even be said, by a select few, that he possesses a flair for the dramatic.

Kurt isn’t, however, a fan of the fact that drama seems to follow him wherever he goes, comes courtesy of big ticket items, and hangs over his head like a sword held aloft by a single thread of red rope licorice.

That he doesn’t appreciate.

The drama Kurt does enjoy happens to be genre-specific, goes hand-in-hand with sweeping, over-the-top, romantic gestures, and maybe a dance number or two.

Like the situation he’s currently in, preparing to perch atop a magnificent red roan mare. Kurt has never been up close and personal with a horse before. The first thing he notices is they’re so much taller - and wider - in real life than they seem on screen. He also didn’t know he’d have to be introduced to his horse before he could mount it (though when you use a word like mount, the need for an introduction makes sense).

Their groom teaches Kurt how to brush his mare’s mane (which he is determined to braid somewhere along the way, get it out of her eyes). Then he earns her favor by feeding her sugar cubes. She plucks them one by one from his outstretched palm, and Kurt falls instantly in love.

If his future as a Broadway phenom ever hits the skids, equestrian sports are beginning to look like an acceptable replacement.

But there is a problem.

Everything about potentially riding this horse terrifies him.

Sebastian rented the horses from a stable nearby, one the Smythe family frequents whenever they’re in town. The horses don’t belong to the Smythes, but according to the man who saddled them, they might as well, as Sebastian’s family reserves the exact same beasts every summer.

Sebastian mounts his own mare with the skill of an accomplished equestrian because of course he does. Kurt, on the other hand, requires the assistance of two bubbly blond stable hands (who remind him enough of Brittany and Sam that he has to do a double take) and a large wooden block. Sebastian watches the calamity go down from his own saddle with intense interest and a twinkle in his eye. Between trying to maintain balance and not roll his ankle, Kurt spots Sebastian sporting his signature smirk and braces for the taunts guaranteed to come, which he plans to volley with comebacks he’s already preparing in his head. But when Kurt finally finds his seat, Sebastian gives him a smile that appears to have nothing devious hiding behind it.

“All set?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Kurt manages, panting from the exertion of pulling himself up and throwing a leg over, doing both so enthusiastically he nearly propelled himself clear over the other side of his horse. “All set.”

“Everyone’s first time goes like that,” Sebastian reassures him with a dismissive wave and only a sliver of innuendo.

“Even Julian’s?” Kurt asks bitterly, his ego stinging. He imagines the older Smythe boy launching himself onto a stallion’s muscular back from the ground using only the saddle horn to boost him up, then galloping off into the sunset, leaving the rest of his family in the dust.

But Sebastian dashes that image with a nod. “Yup. Julian excels at a great many things. But for some reason, horseback riding isn’t one of them.”

“A-ha. Somehow I don’t believe you.”

“I’ve got no reason to lie, babe. And besides - I have videos.” Sebastian bounces his eyebrows, apparently relishing the fact. “Lots of them.”

Kurt’s left eyebrow bobs up. “So you gather blackmail material on your brother, too?”

“I don’t see why you’d assume he’d be immune.” Sebastian’s horse, itching to get on the trail, shifts her weight underneath him. He strokes her neck, shushing her to keep her still. It’s such an endearing gesture, so unlike the Sebastian Kurt once despised … but so much like the Sebastian he’s grown to love. “It’s tit for tat, really. Lord knows he’s got tons of stuff on me. I’ve got stuff on Liv, too, but I’m smarter than to use it.”

“Why’s that?”

Sebastian barks out a laugh that, underneath the surface, is laced with genuine fear. “Are you kidding? She’d murder me in my sleep!”

“Then why have it?”

“As leverage against Julian.”

“And that works how exactly?”

“If I let something I have on Livvie slip but I can convince her that Julian is responsible …” Sebastian sucks a breath in through his teeth, his eyes going distant, like he’s imagining the outcome of such an act, the gruesome devastation that would ensue. “But I’d only do that as a last resort. Julian would have to do something particularly heinous for me to go that far.”

Kurt shakes his head disapprovingly. Poor Olivia. Kurt wonders if she knows that she’s Sebastian’s nuclear option. Sebastian and Julian must be rubbing off on Kurt more than he knows because he also wonders how much that information might be worth. “Oh what a twisted life you lead. You are truly a criminal mastermind.”

“You know it,” Sebastian says, throwing Kurt a wink. He clicks his tongue and leads his horse away, Kurt’s mare following behind as if she knew that was the plan all along.

Sebastian takes them to a rise overlooking the beach, the trail to get there narrower than Kurt likes. He’s sure his horse knows what she’s doing. This isn’t her first time walking this trail, after all. But again, Kurt’s mare is a big animal, and she lists from side to side. This trail, flush up against the cliff side, is one Kurt would think twice about taking on foot before calling it quits, doing an about face, and going off in search of the nearest coffee shop. Since there are no seat belts, the only thing keeping him from sliding off and falling to his death is the strength of his thighs.

Kurt thought his thighs were strong. Only now does he see that cutting the 30 Minute Buns and Thighs video he used to do religiously from his cardio rotation was a huge mistake.

Fear for his life aside, the view from the overlook is spectacular, but the height vomit inducing. Kurt leans forward, barely budging in his saddle to peek over the edge, and his stomach lurches up into his throat.

He has to trust his horse. She wouldn’t go running off this cliff for no reason. She wouldn’t do anything to hurt herself. But what about him? Would she buck him off? What motivation would she have to do so? Horses, like dogs, can sense the good in people, can’t they? Not just the shallow good like, “I put a dollar in a Salvation Army bucket once,” but the deep down, selfless good. Kurt isn’t a bad person, but he can be a bit inconsiderate at times, especially with wait staff.

If this horse decides to judge him, his inability to stop snapping at waiters will be the hill he ends up dying on, he just knows it.

The path takes his mare nauseatingly close to the edge for a brief second, and Kurt bites his tongue to keep from screaming.

“Whoa, Nellie,” he says in a wobbly voice, pulling up beside Sebastian’s mare, stopped on a ledge wide enough to accommodate both animals … and the two of them should Kurt decide to crawl off his horse, lay flat on his stomach, and hug the ground.

Sebastian, watching Kurt’s silent crisis run its course, points out, “You do know your horse’s name is Desiree, right?”

“I do. And by the way, I have questions about that. But whoa, Desiree doesn’t have the same ring to it.”

Sebastian shrugs. “You’re not wrong.”

“So,” Kurt starts, swallowing half a dozen times to stop his voice from shaking, “does your exceptional riding proclivity qualify you as a ‘horse boy’ then?”

Sebastian chuckles. “No. No, Livvie is the horse person in our family. Always has been”

“That’s right,” Kurt says, wrapping the reins around his hand for security so tightly he’s afraid his fingers might turn purple. “She got the pony.”

“Mm-hmm. Pony, private riding lessons, the whole bit. The trails around the beach are perfect for horseback riding. So when we’d come out here, my dad and mom would take her, and Julian and I were forced to tag along. To teach us important life lessons, they said. I think they just didn’t want to leave us alone, afraid of the trouble we’d get into unsupervised. Needless to say, Molly here and I have a special relationship.”

Kurt eyes Sebastian coyly through lowered lashes. “Should I be jealous?”

Sebastian eyes him back, wearing a way-too-suggestive smile considering the subject matter. “Tremendously.”

“I’ve always wanted to learn to ride a horse,” Kurt admits. “I think a lot of kids do.”

“Did you picture yourself as Liz Taylor in National Velvet? Or Robert Redford in The Electric Horseman?”

“More like Viggo Mortensen in Hidalgo.”

Sebastian gives that some thought before commenting, green eyes aimed at the sky, peering at strings of clouds overhead. “I can see that. I think you’d look rather distinguished in a Stetson Diamante.”

“I’ve always thought so,” Kurt says, pulling himself up in his stirrups, a proud expression on his face.

Sebastian’s eyes, tracing the clouds, find the ocean, stare off into the sunset as the tide rolls up the sand. “Julian teased her endlessly for it.”

“Julian did?” Kurt asks with a dubious tilt of his head.

“Yup. Just Jules. I didn’t.”

“Why not?” It sounds like an odd question after Kurt asks it, grilling his boyfriend to find out why he didn’t cut down his older sister over one of her favorite hobbies.

“I envied her her love of riding,” Sebastian replies without turning to look Kurt’s way, the way Kurt had expected. “You know, when kids ask their parents for a pony, it’s usually because they think it’s going to be fun and exciting, make them look cool, turn them into a superhero or something. Not her. She loved riding for the sake of riding and for no other reason. She loved horses simply because she wanted to take care of a horse, even before she ever sat on one … or so my parents tell me.” He looks at the reins pooled in his hands, the horse’s mane beneath them chocolate brown, close to the shade of his own hair. Sebastian sniffs … or Kurt thinks he does. He only sees the subtle movement, doesn’t hear from where he and his horse are standing. “I don’t think I’ve ever loved anything that way.”

Kurt nudges his horse closer, feeling too far away with the few feet of space between them. “Not even your car?”

“Oh, well, cut me to the quick, I guess.” Sebastian throws his head back and laughs. This time Kurt definitely hears him sniffle, sees him wipe a tear from his cheek with the back of his hand. But there must only be the one because when he turns to look at Kurt, his cheeks are dry. “No, Olivia is special. When you take riding lessons, the first thing your instructor tells you is that riding is less about getting on a horse’s back and flying down the straightaway and more about taking care of something other than yourself. You put your horse first at all times. Its comfort is paramount.” Sebastian looks back at the ocean, clears a catch from his throat. “To ride a horse is to put your trust in someone else, and have someone else trust you back. Whatever you do, you do to bring out the best in the animal you choose to ride. If you hate horses, you’re going to be a lousy horse person. Olivia doesn’t see things the way they are,” he says after a pause. “She sees things the way they could be. People, too. Always finding the best in everyone. She’s not a cynic like me and my brother. She inherited the lion’s share of my parents’ optimism and goodwill. She didn’t leave any for the rest of us. And she knows what she wants, has since she was little. She launches into life with both feet. So does Julian, though, in his case, he doesn’t always land on them.”

“What about you?”

A hint of the cynicism Sebastian mentioned comes to rest in the corners of his mouth, pushing it into a half-grin. “I’m not quite as brave as they are.”

“I think you are.”

“Reckless isn’t the same as brave, babe.”

“I think it depends on how you look at it, on how you define reckless. But you have so many opportunities available to you. And a built in safety net. You can afford to be reckless.”

Sebastian chews his lower lip, seems to contemplate his next words carefully. “Because I have money, right?”

“Right,” Kurt answers quickly, then suddenly feels like he’s taken a wrong turn down a one-way street.

“Money doesn’t help when you don’t have a path.”

“Yes it does!” Kurt says, wondering why it is that Sebastian doesn’t see his wealth as a boon when it’s as clear as day to Kurt. Enjoy all the things his wealth can buy him. Sebastian had repeated that sentiment last night when they were talking about Kurt going to NYADA, and taking that $10,000 check so he could get there. Which proves that wealth can definitely buy a future. A good one, even if Sebastian might be on the fence about which way to go. “It can help you build your own path. It can build you a dozen paths!”

“But where would they lead?” It’s a rhetorical question, but one that sounds like he’s pleading with Kurt to give him an answer. Not in general terms, but a specific destination. “If I don’t know which direction I want to go, what good does a path do me?”

“It gets you started going somewhere! Anywhere!”

“And what’s wrong with staying where you are when you don’t know where to go?” Sebastian asks, his voice so thick under the weight of his emotions, it cracks. This isn’t just a friendly discussion they’re having anymore, Kurt realizes. This is something else. Something Kurt doesn’t fully understand. “Isn’t that what they teach you in wilderness survival? Stay where you are until someone finds you? Hug a tree and shit?”

That remark strikes Kurt as so absurd considering the context of their conversation, he almost bursts out laughing. “Do I look like I would know the answer to a wilderness survival question?” But then that context becomes clearer, and Sebastian’s remark even more absurd. Wait … is he thinking about … staying in Ohio!?!?

“Do you think money solves everything, Kurt? Do you think those rich people on the Titanic could buy their way off that sinking ship?”

“They kinda did,” Kurt says sheepishly, face scrunching apologetically knowing that’s not the answer Sebastian wants to hear. “They were the only ones allowed on the lifeboats, so …

“Yeah. Right. Okay,” Sebastian says, each word clipped within an inch of its life. He turns away in frustration, focusing on the sunset as if he has to watch every last minute of it or suffer dire consequences.

“But you’re not on a sinking ship,” Kurt continues, watching his step with every word. “You can literally choose any direction and go. You wouldn’t have to know what’s there or even have a reason why. Just pack a bag and start walking.”

“You make it sound so simple,” Sebastian mutters grimly, followed by something else Kurt doesn’t catch, although he does hear the words know what you want to do.

“It sounds to me like you’re making excuses,” Kurt counters but not unkindly, “and I don’t know what for. To tell you the truth, I feel like I’ve entered an argument already in progress.”

Sebastian bristles, his back going rigid. Kurt holds his breath, unsure what he’s about to do. Would he turn his horse around and leave without a word, abandon Kurt there on the top of this rise in the dark?

No. Kurt is confident he wouldn’t. Sebastian isn’t that person. Not anymore. He wouldn’t do that.

Besides, Kurt’s mare would simply follow his. He’s really in no danger unless Sebastian comes up to him and shoves him off his horse.

Kurt isn’t convinced his thighs would protect him.

Kurt’s words seem to take the steam out of Sebastian. When he turns around to face Kurt, he looks tired. Worn down. “I’m sorry. Kurt. I’m not trying to start a fight. And don’t think I don’t understand where you’re coming from. I do. I really do. Maybe not from first hand experience but I get it. And you’re absolutely right. When you don’t have money, when you have to worry about where your next meal is coming from or how you’re going to pay your rent, it sucks. Money greases so many wheels, can take you to so many places. I’m fortunate. So fucking fortunate. But there’s something to be said about having an identity that doesn’t revolve around money.”

“I don’t … I don’t think I understand.” Kurt says it, but then he realizes that’s not entirely true. On some level, he does. For a good portion of his high school career, he had to contend with being known as the one out-and-proud gay kid. To most people, it was his sole descriptor. But there’s so much more to him.

Just like there’s so much about Sebastian’s situation that Kurt doesn’t understand.

“No matter where I am, if I’ve been there longer than a week and you ask someone about me, ask them to describe who I am, they’ll tell you I’m some rich douche. That’s it. That’s what I am. That’s who I was at Dalton. It doesn’t matter that I was a straight A student, 5.0 GPA, on the lacrosse team, that I was a Warbler, or any of that. I’m an asshole and I have money. That’s it. That’s my identity. But not you,” Sebastian says, his voice becoming hard and soft at the same time. “You’re Kurt Hummel. You’re a trail blazer. You’re compassionate and brave and talented ...”

“Who told you that?” Kurt interjects, squashing uncomfortable laughter with disbelief.

“Blaine for one,” Sebastian admits, though from his expression, he would rather pry up his fingernails than say that name. “The Warblers, your friends at that public school you went to, your teacher Will Schuester, your father, your stepmother, Finn and Puck. You do your own thing no matter what other people say. And even if they knock you down, you stick up for them. You ran for student body president on a platform of stopping bullying. I would never do that!”

“You don’t want to stop bullying?” Kurt asks, appalled enough to overlook the fact that Sebastian knows any of that. But when Sebastian shoots him a You have got to be kidding me! look, Kurt is immediately confronted with the reality of who he’s talking to. Sebastian was a bully! He blackmailed and schemed. He photoshopped vulgar pictures of Kurt’s stepbrother, and tried to steal his boyfriend. He’s only recently redeemed himself for any of that. There are people who would still consider him a bully - Kurt’s friends, people he loves - who haven’t had the opportunity Kurt has to get to know him.

But it’s also an unfair question. From what Kurt has learned, Sebastian wasn’t always that way. The person he was while he was at Dalton - that person was created, and by someone other than himself.

“I would never run for student body president in the first place!” Sebastian yells. “I don’t care about other people’s problems! I can’t be bothered! If I went to your school God forbid and people bullied me, I wouldn’t want to help them! I’d want to watch the place burn to the ground!”

“That … that’s not true!”

Sebastian leans towards him threateningly. But not threatening to hurt him. Threatening to make him see the truth. “Isn’t it!?”

“I …” Kurt puts a hand to his head and closes his eyes. Sebastian’s words pound in his brain. They connect a bunch of dots, but they also leave other sections of the overall picture blank. “I’m sorry, I … I don’t know what’s going on. We’ve gone from horses to your sister to student body president to arson and I … I think … I may have missed the point somewhere.”

“The point I’ve been trying to make,” Sebastian says slowly, bringing his mare closer to Kurt’s, “and very badly is that money is a wonderful thing to have. But it shouldn’t be your identity. You need to be something more. Money will never make you a whole person if you can’t be one without it.”

Kurt nods, relieved to have it summed up so nicely before either one of them accidentally says something they’ll both regret. With his own deadline of NYADA looming, Kurt forgot that Sebastian said he hasn’t chosen a college yet. What if that’s not the entire story?

What if he doesn’t know what he wants to do with the rest of his life? And what if that scares him?

“Okay,” Kurt says, accepting Sebastian’s hand when it finds his. “I … I think I get it. That makes sense.”

“I’m glad. Because believe it or don’t, I didn’t bring you up here to start an argument. I just wanted to watch the sun set. Show you one of my favorite thinking spots. To be honest …” Sebastian shakes his head “… I don’t know where half of that came from.”

Kurt gives Sebastian’s hand a comforting squeeze. He hopes that Sebastian might be willing to bring this subject up again at the beach house when they’re both a little more level-headed, better equipped to handle it. “Where would you say you fall on that spectrum? Between being whole and being not?”

“I’d have to say I’m extensively ventilated …” Sebastian brings Kurt’s hand to his mouth for a kiss, disarming smile locked back in place. “But on the mend.”

Kurt watches Sebastian run his thumb over his knuckles, hesitant to give his hand back, even with the darkness settling in around them. “You know,” Kurt says, “this picture you’re painting of who you are … if I wasn’t here, seeing it for myself, I don’t think I would ever believe any of this about you.”

Sebastian frowns, looks like he’s about to rush to his own defense, but he stops. “I guess I didn’t really give you the chance to find out for yourself.”

“Why isn’t this the foot you put forward all the time?”

“Because … I don’t like being vulnerable with people.”

“You don’t have to be vulnerable. But nice would be …” Kurt searches his head for the perfect word, but only comes up with “… nice. You know what they say - more flies with honey and all that.”

Sebastian sputters. “There you go again with those archaic expressions! Who on earth wants to be surrounded by flies? Being this version of me is too much work for too little pay off most of the time. For what I usually want, my methods get me results quicker.”

“So … what does that say about me?” Kurt asks. “You and I have been at this for months. And it’s not as if I rolled over for you the first chance I got.”

Sebastian tugs Kurt’s hand, brings him close enough to give him the whisper of a kiss against his cheek. “That says you’re worth the effort.”

***

It’s been well over a week since the Smythes descended on the beach house, and as much fun as it is having them there, Kurt is steadily becoming paranoid. He wouldn’t have had Olivia not made that remark about keeping an eye out for her mother. Now he’s convinced that every look Charlotte tosses his way holds significance.

A silent warning.

That she knows about him and Sebastian, and that the two of them are royally screwed - Sebastian more so than he, of course. Only she’s too nice to shred him to pieces in front of the family, so she’s waiting to do it in private.

He won’t know for certain until she corners him and they talk.

So he does the mature thing.

He avoids being alone with her at all costs.

He doesn’t hide behind curtains or vault over furniture when he sees her approach. He simply makes certain he’s never by himself for longer than a few minutes. That amounts to trips to the bathroom and any time he needs to change clothes, which (and he’s not proud of this) he’s done twice as an excuse not to talk to her. With Sebastian’s new found need to be with Kurt every conceivable second, that takes care of every time else. Still, in the confines of the beach house, Kurt knows it’s impossible to dodge Charlotte forever. He just hopes he can figure out what he’s going to say when the time comes, how he’s going to defend his and Sebastian’s actions.

How he’s going to make being a boyfriend-for-hire in order to deceive her in specific sound not so bad.

Sitting on Sebastian’s lap on the porch swing, Kurt’s favorite place in the house to be hands down, he’s finding it difficult to relax. Even though she’s nowhere where she can see them, Kurt feels her eyes on him. Several times he pops his head up and scans the beach to see if she’s walking along the shore, but no. She’s not there.

This is all in his head. He knows it. He’s building it up to something bigger than it needs to be. But if he doesn’t deal with things soon, he’s going to give himself a nervous condition.

“Hey, babe. I have to run to the bathroom,” Sebastian says, sliding his hands underneath Kurt’s rear and relocating him to the far side of the swing.

“O-okay,” Kurt says, a knot starting in his stomach, like a stop watch zeroing out before a tie-breaker race. “Don’t take too long.”

“Yeah, alright. I … won’t,” Sebastian says, giving Kurt an odd look before heading towards the door to his room. Kurt watches him go, crossing every finger on both hands and his toes in his socks, praying Sebastian returns before Charlotte discovers he’s alone and swoops in. Kurt doesn’t see her, hasn’t seen her for most of the day actually. He’d be hard pressed to say whether or not she’s even there.

Kurt and Sebastian ate dinner on the porch, intend on sleeping out there, too, in the tent still set up in the far corner. Did he see her before dinner? Or did Greg take her out to eat? They’d been discussing an Italian place not too far from the beach. They could be there, enjoying a romantic evening alone, with not a single thought to the deceptive practices of her son and his boyfriend. Or did she go shopping with Olivia? Olivia mentioned wanting to hit Yankee Candle for apple pie scented wax melts after stumbling across one of Kurt and Sebastian’s vanilla scented votives. That’s a possibility.

Unfortunately, there’s only one way for him to inconspicuously check. He’d have to go inside and take a peek for himself. If he texts Olivia, he runs the risk of her coming out to ask him what’s up with her mother in tow.

Kurt gets so wrapped up in thinking about where Charlotte could be that he misses her sweeping through the door right as Sebastian leaves, stopping her son to give him a kiss on the cheek.

“Hey, Kurt!” she says brightly, striding across the porch toward him, wrapped in the coziest looking, camel-colored, cashmere duster. He’s been looking for one just like it - not super chunky the way knitted dusters tend to be. This one looks soft, and clingy in all the right places. And that color - super complementary. Once she’s done verbally disemboweling him, he’ll have to ask her where she got it. “I was hoping I’d get you alone! You and my son seem to be locked together at the hip lately! I’d need a crowbar to separate you two!”

“That seems to be the consensus,” Kurt says, banishing the image of sweet matriarch Charlotte Smythe wielding a crowbar. He shouldn’t be this nervous around her. She’s never given him reason to be. She treats him like he’s part of the family. Besides, Sebastian and Julian both agree that Olivia is the scary one. Not their mother.

Then again, where do they think Olivia gets it from?

“That’s not a bad thing. I remember being your age, locked at the hip with my boyfriend,” she reveals, a speck of wickedness coloring her smile. “But as much as I adore my son, I was hoping I could talk to you - one on one.”

Kurt’s stomach flip-flops the way it did during his NYADA audition. The only difference is, at his audition, he had a pair of gold pants to give him strength. He loves borrowing Sebastian’s Ralph Lauren lounge pants, but it’s not the same. “Absolutely. What’s on your mind?”

“Well, I feel like you may be avoiding me … just a little,” she says, bringing a hand up, putting her thumb and forefinger together for emphasis.

“Oh, uh … no. No I haven’t. Not … consciously,” he fibs, but she stares him down. Even if she doesn’t know about him and Sebastian pretending to be boyfriends, she knows that Kurt has been lying about something. Charlotte is an intelligent woman. Kurt is not about to disrespect her. “I’m sorry if it seems that way. That wasn’t my intention.”

She stays silent a moment longer, scrutinizing him the same way Carole does him and Finn when her motherly instincts tell her not to trust them. And Carole’s instincts are pretty much consistently on the nose. But Charlotte may not feel comfortable scolding her son’s boyfriend.

She may have decided to let the guilt eat Kurt away for her.

“Sebastian says you have quite a fondness for this old swing,” she says. “But before you came along, he’d never come out here. Ever. You would think he was afraid of heights or something the way he avoided it, and my son is definitely not afraid of heights. In fact, if someone were to ask me what Sebastian is afraid of, I’d have to say there isn’t a thing … except losing you. And your good opinion of him.”

Kurt goes temporarily speechless. He wants to say he knew that, but he can’t. Because he didn’t. “Really?”

“A-ha. So imagine my surprise when I found out that the two of you weren’t actually an item.”

Kurt’s eyes pop open. He hopes he looks stunned, hurt, maybe even a little too scandalized for words. But he knows he’s not that good an actor. Not yet. Give him a couple of semesters, maybe a year abroad …

But right now, he probably looks exactly the way he feels.

Busted.

“That’s … that’s not …” Kurt tries, but he can’t get the rest of the words out. They physically refuse to leave his tongue.

“It’s not what?” Charlotte asks in that stern way mothers do when weeding out the truth.

When they know for a fact that they’re being duped.

“You’re … you’re right.” Those words are a bit harder to say but at least they come out. “We weren’t a couple. B-but we are now,” he adds, praying that makes everything right, that he didn’t inadvertently toss Sebastian under the bus and lose him everything.

“As of …?” she presses.

Oh God, Kurt thinks, losing the feeling in his entire body. Even his tongue goes numb. Nope. He didn’t lose Sebastian everything before. But he may right now. God, he wishes he’d thought to talk to Sebastian about this! Gotten some sort of story straight. “A…after the gala?” More like after they got to North Carolina, but Kurt is not about to split hairs.

Charlotte, who had been sitting with her legs crossed, an elbow resting comfortably on one knee and her chin cradled in the palm of her hand, straightens in surprise.

Oh no! Kurt panics, knowing by the look in her eyes that she’s putting two and two together, time lines readjusting, figuring out just how long they haven’t been a couple.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry for lying to you! It’s … it’s all my fault!” he says, hoping that if he keeps her attention locked on himself, that if he can somehow spin it so he’s the perpetrator here and not Sebastian, she’ll forget that they were going to empty out his bank account and take back his tuition money. They can’t do that! Not after what Sebastian told him today! Not after everything he might be afraid of! “Are you angry? Disappointed? I’ll make it up to you somehow! I swear!”

“Calm down, dear.” She has an exquisite poker face. Kurt has to give her that. He doesn’t have a clue what she’s thinking. But the parts of her expression that aren’t blank are slightly sad. “I’m not disappointed. Or angry.”

“If you don’t mind my asking,” Kurt says, feeling like he’s walking on eggshells made of plate glass and battery acid, “how did you figure us out?”

Charlotte smirks. “Well, whether they like it or not, I know my children. And to be honest, because he’s my youngest, I probably know Sebastian best of all. Which is how I know this arrangement the two of you had …” She wiggles her forefinger between Kurt and an invisible placeholder that represents Sebastian “… whatever it entailed, wasn’t your idea. But I can appreciate you throwing yourself on that grenade, and don’t think I don’t know why.” Kurt is about to launch into a new line of disagreeing, but Charlotte sighs uncomfortably, and that makes him hold back. “Kurt, I’ve walked in on my son mid-coitus more times than any mother should, and what I saw when I walked in on the two of you … that wasn’t Sebastian. Not the one I’ve seen torturing himself with different sexual partners for years. The giggling, the smiling - that was different. It was honest. It’s what I’ve wanted for him for longer than I can tell you. And I was so happy to see it. But in a way, because of that, I knew it wasn’t real.”

“But … why didn’t you say something earlier?”

“Because of all the boys my son knows, he chose you. So he had to have a reason. And aside from that, I like you, Kurt. My husband husband likes you. We think that you’re good for our son. So I thought that, given enough time, what you two were pretending to be might become real.” Charlotte smiles. “As it turns out, it did.”

“Yes, it did,” Kurt agrees shyly.

“And I don’t want you to worry. Sebastian is safe. And that’s not contingent on you or on anything the two of you do. Gregory and I, we both bear some responsibility for Sebastian hatching this little scheme. Ultimatums don’t always work the way you intend them to.” That should sound like she’s admitting defeat, but the wink she gives Kurt admits anything but. “Just make sure you get what he promised you.”

“I did,” Kurt assures her. “It and a lot more.”

“Good,” she says. “Very good. You know, being a parent, you raise your kids the best way you know how, in the hopes that they grow into adults that can make good decisions on their own. I may not agree with all of the decisions my children have made, but they are their decisions to make. I can’t micromanage their lives. I have to trust them.”

“I think my dad would agree with you,” Kurt says, thinking back on all the times his father stressed that Kurt was an adult, that he’d be out of the house soon, and that his decisions were his own. And as much as Kurt appreciated the sentiment, the look in his father’s eye when he said it, one he probably thought he was covering so well, gutted him.

“Your father is a good man,” Charlotte says, giving Kurt’s hand a pat. “And from what I can see, he did a wonderful job raising you.”

“Thank you,” Kurt says, feeling way more at ease now than he did when this conversation started. “For what it’s worth, I think you guys did an amazing job as parents, too.”

Charlotte’s smile dips, wobbles at the corners, and Kurt wonders if he said something wrong. She sits back in the swing, turns her head slightly away. She gazes down the beach, the same way Sebastian does when he thinks about something sad, watching the water rush in to meet the shore, then out to join the waves. “Thank you, Kurt,” she says finally. “That does mean a lot.”

***

Julian’s demeanor has been changing in increments.

Kurt thinks he may be the only one who notices since he’s spent time alone with every member of the Smythe family and no one else has mentioned it. But Julian has become sullen.

Downright sulky.

He hasn’t gotten on Sebastian’s case recently half as much as when he got there, hasn’t flirted with Kurt in the past few days other than to tell him he looks good wearing his clothes (a black Henley Kurt thought was Sebastian’s, which had found itself in Sebastian’s room due to an unfortunate dry cleaning mishap).

The change started about the same time Kurt began to notice that the long phone conversations Julian had been having with Cooper - the ones that started in the family room or in the kitchen after dinner but eventually sent Julian outside searching for privacy - seemed to happen less and less, and with no estimated time of Cooper’s arrival in sight. Kurt reminds himself that Julian and Cooper’s relationship has always been a volatile one, so maybe this is just the way things go between them.

But it’s still heartbreaking.

Julian seemed so happy when he first arrived, first told them about Cooper spending the summer with him, and now ...

Kurt hopes that their flame hasn’t burned out so quickly, the way he feared his with Sebastian would, the thrill of the chase gone, the shine of the taboo beginning to take on a matte finish.

“Hey, gorgeous,” Julian says, catching Kurt off guard and staring as he makes his way up to their towels spread out on the beach. Kurt wasn’t staring at Julian, even though he’d been looking in the man’s direction. He was just staring, lost in his own thoughts. But he’ll never convince Julian of that. “Why don’t you take a picture? It lasts longer. In fact, I have a few I can text you, save you the trouble. They’re organized by various states of undress …”

“That’s a surefire way to end up with a broken screen,” Olivia says while Sebastian scoots his towel over, scoops up his boyfriend.

“Happen to have any of you in a Franciscan robe?” Kurt counters. “Maybe even a kaftan?”

Julian smirks, and even though it makes him look as handsome as ever, it doesn’t brighten his face, doesn’t reach his eyes. “You know, I might.”

“I wouldn’t put it past him,” Olivia snickers, “so be careful what you ask for. Even if he does, nothing says it’ll be PG.”

“Speaking of, what are you two gentlemen doing tomorrow night?” he asks. “I mean, between the sex, sex, and more sex.”

“Have they been having a lot of sex?” Olivia asks offhandedly while she scrolls through her phone.

“As far as I can tell. I don’t know one hundred percent. They haven’t invited me to join in.”

“We don’t have any hard and fast plans,” Sebastian says, diverting the topic of conversation away from his and Kurt’s sex life. “Why do you ask? And before you say anything, threesomes are out.”

“Airiel Down is playing at Red Hat,” Julian says, reaching into the pocket of his shorts for his phone. “I got two tickets. I was going to take Cooper, but he hasn’t …” Julian’s voice waffles, goes minutely hoarse.

Olivia’s eyes dart his way.

No. That didn’t go unnoticed, Kurt thinks when her gaze shifts to Sebastian, and then Sebastian looks at Kurt. All three of them had heard the same thing.

“Anyway, anyway,” Julian says, pushing past it, “no reason for them to go to waste.”

“Are you sure? I mean, you could still go. Scalp the other ticket,” Sebastian suggests, but from the tone of his voice, it sounds like he’s asking another question entirely.

“I’m sure, little bro. No worries.” Julian chuckles, but it’s as dry as the sand they’re sitting on. They watch in silence as Julian types out a text and attaches the electronic tickets. A second later, Sebastian’s phone in his pocket beeps. “Your boyfriend here needs a night out, and exposure to some of our fine North Carolina culture.” Julian grins. For a moment, he’s closer to normal than he’s been in days. “Besides, you two need to give that beautiful ass of his a break.”

#acitw #acitw au #kurtbastian #sekurt

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