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annotatingandexplicating · 2 years ago

Text

Open a New Perspective

White flashes and the headset flies off their face. Judging by the harsh grip on their arms, Subject failed again. A quick pinch on their neck eases their racing heart as memories of the assessment fade away. After a moment they blink, eyes readjusting to the grey world around them before their balance returns.

Subject is sweating. The standard white uniform translucent on their shoulders as security removes them from the staging area. They scan the panel's expressions, trying to read their thoughts through the eyes, but their head is shoved down. Once again, forced to enter and exit the testing area with their own eyes on the ground, unable to track whoever is watching them. They know someone, or something, is. They feel the tingle of frost up their spine as they walk, creating unease in their stomach as they try to remain true to the number. Another number in the Vitruvian Project, and another attempt. Now on their fourth attempt, they have experienced the next steps before. The waiting game as their results are compared to previous attempts and other subjects. To see who is defective and who remains in the project, so they resist the desire to fight the guards. Maybe the difference between staying and disposal is compliance. After all, when they arrived Subject had rebelled and faced punishment.

Being placed in the white cell is never enjoyable, but necessary. The waiting room, where they learn how close they've come to the Vitruvian Man, and how much longer it may take. Subject pauses before stepping away from the guard only for the one to grip their arm tighter. It makes them flinch and they stare at the guard's hand quizzingly. Metal, a droid.

“You are aware of the routine, Subject 89,” its metallic voice bounces off the walls and Subject’s eardrums. A cacophony of metal meeting bone as even the counters shiver at the voice. They only nod before the droid closes the door behind them. They’re left alone.

They shake their head to relax and sit down. Clear their head, Subject needs to get the metallic boom out of their ears and decide on grabbing the notebook and pencil from the counter. Each subject gets one for their thoughts while waiting. For a moment they stare at the page, pinpointing the faint grey lines across the fragile stage before aiming the black pencil on the first tightrope. Words form, Subject tries to keep them balanced, going slow to stop them from falling to the side. One letter at a time. The tightrope wobbles, bouncing up and down as they write. Words are an attempt at being human. An attempt at understanding the city’s drive for human perfection. Subject tries writing it out, muttering the motto of the Project over and over again, “mens sana in corpore sano.”[1]

“Subject 89.”

Subject doesn’t finish the poem, jumping to a stand to greet the supervisor and clipboard. Different shades of grey cover the man before them. Behind the man a drone hovers, a blinking light tells Subject immediately that this meeting is being recorded. The drone’s signature cacophony fills the otherwise silent cell, giving Subject goosebumps on the back of their neck. It takes a moment to steady their hands as their core runs cold.

Danger, their instincts cry, the city is a cage of unchanging stillness.

“Your results are the closest you’ve come yet. But far from Vitruvian.” The supervisor doesn’t look up from the clipboard, flipping through pages slowly, cold and calculating black eyes reading the graphs and maps.

“Yessir,” is Subject’s reply. What else is there to say? resisting the urge to bounce their leg, they force themselves to be still like a programmed machine. Elaboration comes after acknowledgement. It’s protocol. Standard, what Subject seeks to be. And yet they catch themself popping knuckles, not still and out of standard.

"Your literacy, always littered with errors.” The supervisor glares at their hand until the popping stops, as if freezing their hand with a thick layer of frost through the look alone. “Low emotional responses, only reacting to grief, anger, and...” he clears his throat, skipping over the final response. “Yet your physicality is above average.”

“Yessir.”

Subject watches the grey supervisor and the greyscale world, wondering if the supervisor’s eyes truly are black, or if they simply cannot see the true shade. Their eyes fall across the grey uniform, noting the bleak shades mixing with the folds creating odd shadows that morph the supervisor’s shape and body. Are there bones under the uniform? Subject tries to picture the supervisor having a skeleton with vital organs and a beating heart. Subject tries to picture him as a human whose purpose doesn’t revolve around monitoring the Vitruvian Project. Maybe he's dead. Maybe he's a cybernetic reconstruction, complete with metal for organs and an empty cavity below a robotic heart; or maybe he is alive right now.[2] Or perhaps, the cloth hides the bolts and sheets of metal that form his body. Does he have a registered name? Does he wander outside of the labs and experiment facility? Free to move around and live within the city’s limits, unlike Subject. Does that make Subject inhuman if the supervisor can participate in ways they cannot? They’re sure they’re human--

The drone’s buzzing grows louder to gain their attention, it knows. It always knows. Subject’s eyes shoot back up, only paying attention to the words just as the supervisor stops his report. His eyes narrow, as if preparing to rip Subject in half, pick apart their intestines and mind to determine what they were thinking about moments before. And for a moment, they’re certain of that fate. Disposal, defective. He tucks the clipboard under his arm and Subject is sure they grow pale; their face feels cold.

“Cleared for the next round, 89.” He steps closer, Subject now realizes he’s shorter than them by a few inches. “Return to your chamber for the night.”

“Affirmative, sir.”

Security grabs them while they reply. The grips and restraints fasten tighter than normal and for a moment, Subject glances down at the ones around their wrists. They want to ask why everything is tight, why the drone continues to buzz in their face, why they are being handled like an animal. But they can’t, so they stay silent. Something must have happened in the assessment, turning them from machine to animal in the Project’s eyes, in the city’s eyes. [3] They’re pushed back into their sleeping chamber in the basement. A burning white room with a bed, a dresser with playing cards, and a small washroom. The small circular window close to the ceiling shows the city, bars distracting from the outside world and the curtain keeping Subject safe, or so they say.

Subject really needs to stop thinking like this. Sitting on their small bed and staring at their rough hands, running a finger over the bruises on their knuckles while repeating the Latin on their heavy tongue. But it doesn’t mean anything. The drone knew they were having those thoughts again, those thoughts that plague their mind. The drone sparked something in them, brought something back to life and replaced the steam that is supposed to power them with…unease. Absent-mindedly, they reach for the deck of cards on their dresser, shuffling slowly while they think. Until now they have failed their past assessments in the Vitruvian Project, but not to the extent where the usual numbness is replaced by unease and anticipation in their guts. It should be impossible. As they shuffle the cards, dread grows as they stare at the aces in their hand. Two have changed, impossible.

Subject can’t help but drop the cards, staring at the diamonds and hearts on the floor as they stare back up at them. They’re the colour of blood, forcing them to check for cuts. Nothing on their hands and yet the cards are bloody. Their mind circles the word to describe what they see: bright red. Without breaking eye contact with the cards, Subject tucks their legs onto the bed, lowering themself onto their stomach. One poke, the ace of diamonds stays the same, the blood doesn’t smear onto their finger. When they pick the cards up, the drone sound returns. Loud and eerie, drilling against their ear and paralyzing Subject’s nerves. They quickly slide the four aces into their pocket before forcing their face into the small white pillow, trying to drown out the blood colour with monochromatic dreams.[4] Forcing sleep might just push the thoughts away so the drones stop watching and knowing their failure to comply.

Their hand tires as they write, eyes become heavy as they try to keep the letters straight and even. Subject’s literacy is a weakness, it needs to be perfected for the project, so they write despite the lines refusing to stay still. They feel tired, feel it in their mind and fleshy limbs, but they can’t sleep. The cards haunt them, raising more questions they should not have. An image of a desert flashes behind their eyes: what comes from innocence or guilt? Who am I when I look in the mirror?[5]

Tapping on the barred window startles them. Subject jumps off the bathroom counter and grabs the only weapon they’re allowed, a coat hanger. They square their shoulders and take up a defensive stance they use in training and assessments. Appear confident, take what happens in stride, laugh it off. “Stand up straight, stand fucking straight,” Subject says to themself.[6]

Perhaps this is a surprise assessment, one where their reflexes and quick-thinking are tested. As Subject inches closer, they see the lit end of a cigarette, and behind it, a shadowy figure crouching on the other side of the window and Subject can’t help but shudder. The feeling of eyes and cameras crawls up their spine.

The shadow leans towards the window and Subject expects to be grabbed. They prepare for glass smashed into their face if the figure attacks. What Subject doesn’t expect is for the other person to lower onto their stomach, pointing to the latch. Now they see the figure better: two-toned hair and bright sparkling eyes, a round face that smiles as they get closer, androgynous, and warm tawny skin with freckles. Despite the black and white hiding the rest of the appearance, Subject can tell they aren’t from the city. They gesture to the latch again and this time Subject opens the window, separated by nothing but bars.

“I’ve been lookin’ everywhere for you,” the figure says in a hushed voice. But the relief is prominent. For a moment their hand hovers closer to Subject’s face before they recoil, as if unsure what to do. “You got no idea how long it’s been…”

Confusion courses through Subject’s veins as they tilt their head, their expression doesn't change despite the growing tension inside them. This person, this face, is familiar. “Do I know you?”

“I…I hope you do…” the stranger pauses as hurt flashes across their face for a moment. “You’re…y’know what? Not important right now.”[7] The person finally holds a hand through the bars, “Foxglove, it’s good to see you.”

A beat. Then, Subject takes their hand and shakes it once. The hand is warm and rough, they can feel rough bumps on the fingertips. “Subject 89.”

Foxglove's eyes widen and their cheeks darken at Subject’s response. “I mean…yeah, but what do you go by now?”

“Subject 89.”

“That’s it?” A pause as Foxglove’s hand moves to Subject’s cheek, “The hell did they do to you?”

A drone's eerie screech makes both stiffen. Foxglove recoils their hand and pulls a black hood over their hair. Foxglove stands, “Wait there.”

When they disappear, Subject leans against the window, trying to see and hear the city and life beyond the facility. They can’t remember the last time they were outside, can’t remember the last time they saw the sun or someone other than a supervisor or drone. A feeling crawls up their spine, resting in between their vertebrae among the spinal discs and leaving them wishing for Foxglove to return. Suddenly aware of how alone they are inside this chamber. A nagging feeling emerges from the loneliness in Subject’s mind, flashes of a wide landscape take over their mind. Colourful wildflowers and sandy scapes mix with the sky despite the grainy image, as if looking at an ancient photograph, a time buried within the mind that should be long-gone. Subject doesn’t know where these images come from.

Buzzing behind the chamber door causes them to whip around, anxiety pumping through their veins faster than a bullet shell. The handle turns white, and they still move forward, shoulders hunched as they watch the heat diffuse throughout the room. Stabs of anxiety send the worst thoughts into a spiral, a twister threatening to derail the serenity they just had. They lean against the wall to balance as the pangs of fear worsen. Is this a drone figuring out they’re breaching protocol? When two-toned hair and familiar eyes meet Subject’s own, their vision relaxes. Still physically on edge, ready to fight, but they can see once again.

Foxglove says nothing, stepping into the white room and looking around for a moment. They pick up Subject’s notebook on the bed, only scanning a few words before closing it. “We should go during the quiet period, you don’t need anything. It’ll only keep your mind here.”

Subject pauses, they hold the aces out to Foxglove before sliding them into their pocket, “can you see the red?”

“Of course, I can…y’know, if you want somethin’ to draw in, I have stuff in my car.” Foxglove sits on the bed, gently tugging Subject to sit next to them. Leather jacket and ripped pants against the pale itchy sheets, clunky boots compared to the organization of the whole room. But most notable, is the bionic accessory on their hand, glittering under the harsh light. Subject holds it up, trying to get a better look, observing how it rests in the skin, mimicking the skeleton through jewelry. Foxglove pauses and smiles.[8] “You had one too, I still have it. It matched your hair; do you remember that?”

As they stare at their hands, they notice the faint scar, like a closed-up piercing on the outside of their hand. “Vaguely…you say you know me?”

“I knew you; you can be whoever you wanna. More than the Project if you wanna. Hell, more than you used to be. I'll explain later.” A beat passes as Foxglove stands once again, peering outside the door for a moment, their posture stiffens and head lowers. Steadily holding the pierced hand out to Subject, they whisper, “each meridian is perpendicular to all circles of latitude…what happens to the body in these cities and who are you in these cities?”[9]

Who are they in the city? Not Vitruvian, their results prove that. Four attempts and never enough to be perfectly human. But the scar on their hand, the bloody aces, and the lack of memory leaves them unable to answer. Questions of who they are rise, along with the realization that Subject doesn’t know themself intimately. When they look at Foxglove’s face again, they see blue eyes. The room freezes, time becomes nothing as those icy eyes mix with flashes of wildflowers and landscapes.

They don’t hesitate any longer, grasping Foxglove’s hand. Subject’s grip tightens for a moment, feeling the blood in their veins. Back to themself. Back into whoever they may have been before Subject, or maybe someone else. Even if just for a moment, they’re real. Not the perfect human, certainly not Vitruvian, something more than that.

“I want to be who I am and was and want to be,” they mutter as they both move.[10] Foxglove guides them through the hallway, picking up a jog between shadows, pulling fire alarms before leaving the basement. Ducking away from supervisors and drones and into back alleys, eyes up and watching for cameras. The two get further away from the white walls and towards the smell of the outside. Cool air stings their lungs as they run, threatening to overload their mind with new sights and sounds and sensations. The sound and crisp feelings of the world outside the Vitruvian Project. Night paints Subject with darkness as they reunite with the indigo sky, the world continuing to change around them as the questions continue. Why were they in the Project? What was the goal? Why only be human?

It’s a tumultuous spread of uncanny emotions. Each pause makes their heart lurch between excitement and terror, seeing stars and planets, city lights and the muffled drone screech. Each surge forward sends their heartbeat to the sky, echoing in their ears as they fear this is merely a hallucination. Maybe Foxglove isn’t real, maybe this is another simulation and assessment; attempt number five. Yet, Subject doesn’t dwell on it, too focused on the music of their footfalls and short breaths. They pause at a red car in a dark parking lot, neurons and metabolism kicking into overdrive as Subject starts shaking. They start tingling, drowning out the numbness that left them at the hands of the Project for years. Red against the black and white world shouts at their eyes, and their gaze falls to the bent cards in their pocket to compare. It is red. Red like the heart and diamond in their pocket, their hands lightly gripping Foxglove’s small hand to ground themself. It’s real. This is real, they feel the grip on their hand and the bionic accessory, see the colour of blood on the car and know. As confused as Subject is, they continue into the car, sinking into the passenger’s seat with hints of a smile on their face. Being alive in this moment, its rawness and alertness to the world, feeling how their feet move freely, feeling the clashing of sorrow yet joy in their chest at being here. Escaping the feeling of death in their limbs and hearing their heartbeat grow louder.

Even as Foxglove speeds away from the sound of drones and alarms, Subject doesn’t watch the city fading behind them, focusing instead on the road in front. The desert: the untamed and unknown part outside the city, the uncivilized, rural, and wild as their supervisors warned. Unlike the structures of the city, the desert’s unpredictability and constant changing state is dangerous, or so they say.[11] Anxious, they glance at Foxglove, trying to understand why they’re taking Subject away from the city. But they’re left with only a vague idea as Foxglove sings along with a song on the radio, ignoring the drones from the city.

“Why the desert? Isn’t it dangerous?” Subject finally asks.

“’S only dangerous if you let it become that,” Foxglove winks and jerks the car suddenly, “You gotta change with it, can’t stay the same. You’ll remember how to do that once you’re back.”[13]

They recall their instincts from earlier and they glance down at the cards again, the colour doesn’t bring panic compared to the first time. When they finally look in the mirror, they notice the teal glow of the city. Teals and reds mix in their mind, blending into vivid images of flowers and landscapes as colour returns to the world around them. They’ve seen colour before, uncertain where, but they have. “So, I was out there before?”

“Yeah…you’re allowed to speak and not know things, it’s fine. You want your old name or do you wanna change it?”

Silence fills the car. Any name they had before Subject 89 doesn’t surface. Any name feels odd. Having a name before their number feels odd and out of place, like remnants of a lost soul. They’re not the same as whoever they were before the Project, too many failed assessments and reassessments have changed their perception of themself and now their escape and perception is changing right before their eyes. Now they see Foxglove’s hand accessory has a gold metallic shine to it with the winking hints of dawn, and intricate engravings within each metal bone.

“Can I pick a new name?”

There’s a grin from Foxglove, “Hell yeah, what you want it to be?”

By reflex they reach for the cards again, squinting and holding the aces up to the window, fixating on the red once more despite it already burning into their memory. Their eyes move between the cards, silently rolling each one over their tongue, undoing the bandages to uncover wounds, along with uncovering bits and pieces of what feels right. It’s all based on emotional responses, something the assessments claim they are poor with. But there is a spark of joy when one card seems to nest in their soul and mind, fusing with their body to add to their sense of self.

“Diamond.”

When they look up again, they not only see Foxglove’s grin, but their whole face and body in colour. A blue jacket to match their blue eyes and two-toned hair, with a purple shirt underneath. They throw their head back and cheer for a moment, “Welcome, Diamond, to the desert.”

The teal glow that housed Diamond becomes a part of the sky as they watch the road turn from gravel to dirt to beaten sand. Wildflowers catch their eye, illuminated by the headlights for just a moment. Yellow. Yellow flowers on the side of the road watch the two fly by. More and more flowers and glowing eyes pass, each with their own colours and lights.

Looking up at the landscape brings tears to their eyes. The same images that flashed before their eyes lay in front of them. The large landscape is entirely in colour, the night sky is made up of washes of colour and stars. They fill the senses, wrapping Diamond in distant memories tugging at their mind, trying to come to the surface. Instinct tells them everything will come with time and change, stay becoming and Diamond will resurface. Be who they were and are and will be, and Diamond will continue to be themself.

[1] Latin from Rosi Braidotti’s The Posthuman (13)

[2] Inspired by Kaye Mitchell’s “Bodies that Matter: Science Fiction, Technoculture, and the Gendered Body.”

[3] Inspired by “becoming-animal” in Braidotti’s The Posthuman (Page)

[4] Inspired by "The Drone Operator" in Oana Avasilichioaei's Eight Track, page 70.

[5] These questions are a tribute to Dionne Brand’s “Nomenclature for the Time Being” pages 4 and 44.

[6] Dialogue from Dionne Brand’s “Nomenclature for the Time Being” page 13.

[7] This lack of answering references the constant question of identity in Dionne Brand’s “Nomenclature for the Time Being”

[8] Inspired by Rosi Braidotti’s idea of “becoming-machine” and body modification in The Posthuman.

[9] Lines from Dionne Brand’s “Nomenclature for the Time Being” page 60.

[10] Line from Dionne Brand’s “Nomenclature for the Time Being” page 44.

[11] Inspired by Rosi Braidotti’s deconstruction of urbane and civilized structures in The Posthuman, page 55.

[13] Inspired by Rosi Braidotti’s ideas of becoming in The Posthuman and Deluze’s theory of becoming.

#original writing #My writing #speculative fiction #posthuman speculative fiction

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jonathankatwhatever · 2 years ago

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A half-formed idea is a cloud, is a cloud which shifts its shape. And when it shifts, as it shifts it defines the the entirety of itself by the Irreducible pairing of shape the cloud takes. This occurs at various levels of continuity.

One of the more interesting issue is the floating point, find the crack, find the few ways you can tunnel through a barrier, find the way doubt enters, and the reason is this is where we see the rotating mirror or leaves of my notebook with the covers opened all the way back and the pages fanned. That did not go where I expected. I thought we were going to say that local discontinuity, like a yip in putting or in my handwriting, a sudden jerk, is the scaled up version of a section of a function where the derivative changed suddenly because the amplitude or gs process contained in that physical motion, meaning a tension release, that the potential energy converts into kinetic, and this occurs as a function in your physical self, as it relates to your abstract self. That is what inner or core and outer or shell mean in terms of self: there is a physical self and an abstract self.

That usage of self allows us to order gender and attractions within selves. I like to think in terms of pS and aS, because then I can associated the word to an abstraction, thus allowing me to use Triangulars in which I combine pS and aS with physical self and abstract self representations. So for example, I can clearly identify myself as left-handed even though I’m right-handed, because my left hand is inherently more physically capable. It does physical work better. As I’ve described, I can break eggs with my left and never could do that with my right. To me, what happened is that being forced left to right changed the abstract shape of my aS and its relation to my pS, which means the Irreducible pairings were off.

This brings me to mens sans, in corpore sana, realizing the Romans meant the connections between a mind and a body give you the vitality of a human, of being the idealized Roman. That makes sense; they grew up among stories which taught morals, and they saw places as representing the characteristics of a people, just as we do today (though we often claim to not do so).

Irreducible pairings. A bT, f1-3, 3gs, and that reveals why it’s sometimes f1-3//3-1; if you look at the grid, then the visual effect is of the states of an electron cloud in which you see the versions of the fourth 1gs. I see it as a wriggle shifting like a snake that is - and that’s the caduceus image we figured out many years ago.

You can see the Irreducible pairings in the snake to one side, the snake to the other: conjugate Pathways. And conjugate 1-0Segments so it can be as simple as projecting a box over which the exact same motion is overlaid over the exact same elements inverted over the Irreducible axis line, so we can say we’ve joined the Irreducible images as well as we can, asymptotically, to the limit of whatever fits in that context.

So an error like a yip in handwriting or putting comes about because there’s excess abstraction, excess gs process, pent up and it escapes when there’s a chance, like when the hand position should be changed because it’s now going to require focus to get through this next bit where I’m running out of line or I’m holding the notebook on my lap, and so on, and that increase in effort, that increase in abstract focus translates into a magnification, that transformation inherent in the gs definition of base10, expresses through the connection from aS to pS.

That’s also the test I use about gender and sexual identity. The latter is fairly straightforward: what do I look at, think about, etc. The former took longer, meaning that as I accepted my left-handedness, that connected me to the other identities within my aS. In general terms, a Thing is made of a pS and an aS. That enables me to think about iThings as ipS, which then connects to D4-3 existences. That’s a pretty straight-forward notational chain.

So this is an actual phrasing of the question we’ve been working on about a theory of identity. Wow. Did not realize we were doing that today. Very cool.

Identifying the existence of shared identity spaces is straight-forward: no one can deny they exist when they obviously do, from friendship and family to politics and national pride. There is thus a fascinating connection to genus here: you can see the idea of genus1, of a hole, a Bip pole at the center of an idea, and I can see that there’s a bit of work needed upstream from here, that there needs to be an I-pairing that matches the 4 leaves idea, which embodies the whole collapse of 6 into 4 to make the grid. And if we insert D4-3 Objects, then we can think about ipS and iaS, the various imaginary selves one becomes, all of which then reduce and expand, and I really need to go back to bed. This is amazing, but I’m tipping over.

It’s 28 May 2023. Now 7:20AM this congested morn.

————

Transitions are difficult because a bunch of things can happen, and that is caused by the force of the 1Space coming into the gs process, which then manifests in physical forces. Example in mind is accidents on corners because the wheel alignment must be found and held in place and adjusted, as opposed to being able to let the car go straight with you barely touching the wheel. That may sound ridiculous as an example, but the idea behind it is that metaphor with its connection to something actual, something which you can imagine physically exists, then you can draw Triangulars off that. I’m seeing this as there’s an O-line, which I’ll put myself on, and that lays 3 across, where there’s inversion over the center, back and forth as the Triangular changes from the center to me to either End, meaning as my mind’s eye flickers.

That’s how we’re interwoven. In the flicker. I knew that concept meant more! It was, for a while, an intense focus because flickering is alternation is Coordinate Rotation is a clock cycle countable by 1Segments and Ends, etc. But I couldn’t see where it could fit into the generative model of the way this all works. Entangled over a cycle, within a cycle is the interleaving idea in which the leaves sometimes flow into place and other times not.

But back to the idea above that, which is a bit less abstract: that 1Space ‘distance’ is more gs process, and that may suddenly dissipate because it acts like it has some pressure, meaning it’s confined to a space smaller than it needs, which is another way of saying there’s an abstract pressure to enact. We see that in the very concept of a life force and motive. That means we just described the bare bones of how life generates mechanically: that there is substantial pressure of gs process, and that will escape if it can, whether in a mild spasm or tiny motor mistake or explosively. At all scales.

Note that because we construct gs, we construct scales, which means we fit scales appropriately and contextually.

I think maybe I can put the context doubts to bed. As in, the IC Model is correct: f1-3, the 4:1 generation of gs, unites across gs, meaning it’s both Tigs and Togs. The next level, LC or Larger Context, is the exact same ideas scaled up and down using the same process, but most obviously 4:1, because we’re dealing with grid squares in LC, not Triangular. The idea in so notating these two contexts was to unite 2 layers in 2 directions, meaning a 1-0-1 and 0-1-0 where we can make this clearer as 1-4-1 and 4-1-4, meaning we flip the 0 to 4, which is the modularity of 4, and of f1-3//3-1, so it’s fundamental modularity.

And it scales inherently as well by the count of 0 flipping to 4, which is a count of 5 Ends and 4 1Segments, which is a 9, so attach 2 of those 5’s and you get 10, and attach the other 5 as 1 and you get 10 in either direction.

I had to eat a piece of pineapple, which distracted me into an analysis space, a form of ipS which ties to the Supreme Court and conservatism and how that becomes unfortunately doctrinaire, which I think is a good example of Irreducible pairing and the difficulty of pinning down or even identifying the 3rd End in a debate about the Court. I think, for example, that conservative construction is clearly the idea of a constitution, or why have one? They exist to put the brakes on behavior. Anyway, an approach into that abstract space, which is a D4-3, which exists beyond me because it’s a common topic, so what I have is a version constructed using pieces from elsewhere, as they combine, as I’ve seen them combine in other situations, etc. There is thus an inversive relationship between me and that larger other of analysis, feeling, etc., over this construction of abstract space where I think about this topic.

I can see how this makes realization and understanding come more easily: allow the pieces to construct and you get an alert when there’s a fit at the alert level, which is set high enough that seeing it in that moment connects over all the work that has been done before, so the piece has that impact within you.

And that is like it has drawn xyR on a pole and you can see into them because you’re on the O-line in that instant of recognition, so you see the images generate across the layers as they come into focus, however briefly. That is why we called it a Metaphoric Bundle. Thinking about that, while the data must be enormous, the images are conveyed sparsely so they are rendered out of much less because that’s how they are seen in an instant. So M meaning million is fine. Along with the other meanings of M.

So, we just connected base10 to IC in an essential manner: it’s (1+(SBE3)+1) described using IC’s, together with the hands inherent in 0 flipping to 4 in each view. Oh, that gets to something else: the 3 hands in the 3 flips actually do better because now we have 10 on one side or we have 10 to and from those 2 from the other side. I’m getting confused. Better stop this path. There is no magic reductive statement which says here is the single way to describe the many facets of the interweaving of the Pathways. Base10 is a Pathway. It runs really well in 0Space, which you can see makes sense because it manifests in the flip of 0 to 4 and 4 to 0, which is a 10 count of Ends and of course an 8 count of 1Segments, which fits to fCM. That is exactly how we pictured the IC Model working, except now we can get it out in words better.

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kpop-locks · 5 years ago

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sana; notebook cover

like/reblog | @xuxipoet

don’t crop the logo, please don’t repost

#sana notebook cover #sana notebook covers #sana capa de caderno #sana capas de caderno #sana #minatozaki sana #twice notebook cover #twice notebook covers #twice capas de caderno #twice capa de caderno #twice #notebook cover #notebook covers #kpop notebook cover #kpop #capas de caderno #capa de caderno #kpoplocks #lara

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kpopschool-blog1 · 7 years ago

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🌙 {Notebook Cover/ Capa de Caderno} 🌙 ✨ TWICE ✨ 🌻 Reblog/Like if you save 🌻 //Bbang💛

#notebook cover #kpop #twice #SANA #dahyun #chaeyoung #tzuyu #nayeon #momo #jihyo #jungyeon #mina #capa de caderno

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fablesofkitkat · 3 years ago

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I just finished rereading all sero povs for the 10000000th time and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA plz do U have more in store? Can’t help being greedy you povs are REALLY good

Intermission A: with Sero (one-word prompts)

alt title: I (don’t) remember you pt.11

CLICK HERE FOR PART ONE

genre: fluff

I get a feeling every time I go to bed. Are you thinking about me or is it all just in my head?

-mxmtoon

Tags: @vtte @blushycontent @charlie-xo @happilyheavenproductions @bl--ankhaeji @mattesatoruuu @that-fic-girl @comehome2myheart @rabbitholeforanymediailike @hanta-fr-fr @fancyjellyfishcake @bolinbxby @shijjii @aki47-hayakawa @eijis-stuff @marv2222 @ectoplasmictoast @duchess-l @sana-li @ranrandomesss

Lock

You are stuck in a stare down with your boyfriend Hanta for Kami-sama knows how many minutes it has been. Probably just a minute, really. Yet, it feels so much longer. You bite your lip subconsciously, it’s a habit you do to keep yourself from smiling, and the feeling of your teeth and the focus of not using too much pressure is enough distraction to keep your lips from curling upward—

Hanta’s almond shaped eyes flicked down.

Note to self: stare downs with Hanta leads to lip locking.

2. Paper

He throws a crumpled paper at you.

“Hanta.” You give him a warning look.

“What?”

You raised an eyebrow in exasperation. “Stop throwing papers at me.”

The silence resumed, save for your ballpoint pen noises streaking across your notebook. Finals is approaching fast and you procrastinated for months that before you knew it, there’s only a week before the exams. You don’t really care about getting high marks but you sure didn’t want to enter the classroom with a blank head on the exam day.

You hear a rising and falling tone (in local irregularities) of a peeling sound. Sure enough when you raise your head, you see Hanta pulling the tape from his elbows for the heck of it. He feels your stare and gives you a grin.

“Seriously?”

“I was bored.”

You know it was a miniscule thing but now you’re annoyed, “Hanta, you’re being annoying.”

“What?”

“I’m trying to study and you’re not helping. Stop it.”

He gives you an apologetic look. “Sorry.”

“Yeah, just…” The feeling of being annoyed is gone. Hanta doesn’t even know how much power he holds over you. You feel guilty for snapping at him and you understand why he’s here at the library with you even though he has zero plans to study. “Sit beside me. Quiz me right after I finish this chapter.” You watch him go around the table and sit beside you. You laced your fingers with his, “Gimme two hours, then we can go somewhere else, okay?”

He squeezed your hand. “Okay.”

3. Sunset

Rare is the view of sunset sky for you these past months. You watch Hanta sleep beside you. You realize that dating in high school involves a lot of nap times together. Earlier, he shared childhood stories like naps in the afternoon is a tradition called siesta. He used to hate it. The orange glow of the sunset washes over Hanta’s dorm room. He looks really handsome and the rush of affection hits as you watch him breathe. Almost like a physical thing. Like a heartburn. Your chest hurts. It overwhelms. You can’t help but bury yourself deeper in his arms and hug him tight.

4. Dream

“I don’t know how. I haven’t…”

“Don’t worry, I’ll teach you. Just relax and breathe.” Lip bite. Groans.

“Am I doing it, right?”

“Just a sec—kinda intense with you staring, cariño.” Muffled curses and moan.

Hums. “Hmm~”

You sit up wide awake, blinked a few times, and then lied back, face down on your pillow, and groaned. Lewd.

5. Twilight

Hanta laid back on his bed and covered his eyes with his arm when his phone rang which he answered in a heartbeat. “Hey.” He waited for you to turn on your camera but you were quiet.

“Can we just not have our cameras on?”

“Why?” He listened to your breathe.

“I don’t know. Please?”

He turned the camera off and pressed the phone to his ear. “So, what’s up?”

“I miss you.”

“I’m right here.”

“I wish you were here. Or that I was there.”

“You’d be here if you didn’t mind meeting my parents.”

You laughed and he realized you’re crying.

“Cariño. . .”

“Stop.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Everything.”

He was quiet until, “I’ll be there soon.”

You sat up and wiped your nose on your sleeve. “But it’s 1 in the morning.”

“I’m there, just stay still. Tell me everything when I get there.”

6. Dawn

You tip toe away from the bed when a tape wraps around your waist which pulls you back into Hanta’s arms. He asks sleepily, “…where you going?”

“Just getting you breakfast.”

“… no, I hate it.”

“You’re not gonna remember this, are you?”

“..no, I remember you. Stay.”

So much for waking up early.

7. Knowledge

He rests his head on your shoulder as you and Hanta watch the movie on your phone.

“I’m sorry,” you say out of nowhere.

A few beats before he raises his hand, tapping his forefinger on your phone pausing the movie. “Why do you keep saying—why are you so negative about us? Is it so hard to see a future with me?”

“No. More like, it’s the opposite. It’s easy to see a future with you.”

“Then why the pessimistic comments?”

“I have this sort of belief that life gives me the opposite of what I expect, so if I act like I don’t expect us to last, then the opposite might come true.”

“Yeah, but when I said that we’re going as a couple on Aizawa-sensei’s wedding in the far future, and you snide with ‘maybe’ just made it seem like our whole relationship’s one sided.” He holds your hand over his knee. “And you come off as a jerk.”

“I don’t care.”

He squeezed your hand once. “But I care. You’re not a jerk. I don’t want others to think you’re a jerk.”

“I only care about your opinion.”

“Yeah, but you care about me. What if they say we’re a mismatch and you’ll start caring about their opinions and it’s gonna come back and bite our asses?”

“Oh.”

“What if my ma heard about it, and went and met you behind my back, and you’re left psychologically scarred?”

“…”

“And although I get where you’re coming from, when you say pessimistic things about our relationship, it hurts me.”

“I’m really sorry for being insensitive, and for being an idiot... are we gonna be okay?”

“Not until you recreate the Spiderman kiss with me.”

---

AN: To ranrandomesss, I still owe you that comfort Sero pov. Don't worry, I didn't forget. I just haven't figured how to execute it.

To vanilacaramel, (deeply inhales) the things I do for you and your Sero needs. Oh, wait- it's not just you. You and all who give a damn with this series: I fed y'all today. Say your grace. Make me proud by not letting anyone ruin the rest of your day. Do me a favor and be extra cheerful and kind to yourself and everyone else who are good to you. Thanks for being brave enough to shoot this ask.

---

<- previous next ->

#hanta sero bnha #sero hanta imagine #sero x reader #sero x you #serox y/n #sero hanta x reader #sero hanta x you #sero hanta x y/n #bnha fanfiction #mha fanfiction #hanta x reader #sero fluff #to all who has read and is following this series so far #i thank you for reading this #it's not much but here youo go

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nightowlfandom · 3 years ago

Text

CEO! Min Yoongi- My Favorite Secretary

Why hello there!

ANON ASKS

Hi! Want to make a nasty petition pls. I want CEO Yoongi but he is so mean and strict with y/n he discharges all his frustrations and stress on her until he gets to fuck with her. I want a hard smut plsss

With these :

3, 15, 21, 60, 66

OOOOH FUN!!! LET’S GET INTO IT I was not too proud of this one...but here you go! Yo this one was LOOONNGGG, like shit.

3- I said FUCKING BEG!

15- Whose gonna stop us? I own this fucking place, baby.

21- That’s right, you fucking worship me don’t you? Look up at me like I’m your god.

60- I found that little journal you made about me. I think it’s so cute how you fantasize about me, darling.

66- I’m gonna corrupt your mind. I love to play with you like you’re a fucking violin.

CHECKOUT MY MASTERLIST HERE!!

leggo!!

... (Monday)

“You’ll have to redo these reports.” a stack of papers was thrown onto your desk. You stared up at your boss in disbelief.

“And just what’s wrong with them?” you raised an eyebrow.

“There are exactly 15 typos in these reports and since I don’t care enough to go through them with you, I want them redone.”

Min Fucking Yoongi. CEO of Bangtan Enterprises. You of course were a humble secretary who wrote reports on every idol and client that walked through the damn door.

“I spent hours on those!” you tried to defend. “I already deleted the stupid file to save space on my computer!”

“You have until the end of the week.” he walked away without another word.

“Sora didn’t even turn in her reports because she stayed up playing fucking Doki Doki Handsome Husband Haven and you gave her an extension!”

Yoongi didn’t respond as he turned the corner.

“Are you fucking kidding me.” you seethed.

... (Thursday Afternoon)

“Y/N!” you heard the horribly scary voice.

“What now?” you whimpered. You turned around in your chair to see your boss fuming. “Yes, Mr. Min?”

“YOUR REPORTS ON MY CLIENT ARE LATE!”

“No they aren’t! They aren’t due for another three days!” you tried to defend. Everyone else was starting to stare. They all knew how they treated you and they all felt super bad that he chose you to bully.

“I SENT AN EMAIL YESTERDAY SAYING I WANTED IT TODAY AT 10:00 IT’S NOW 2:00!”

“No you didn’t! I would have seen it-” you tried to speak.

“YOU HAVE TWENTY MINUTES TO HAVE IT DONE OR YOU CAN SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR JOB.”

“Y/N, don’t cry...you’re doing that thing you do when you’re about to cry.” your friend came over to your side. “Don’t waste your tears on that asshole.”

You inhaled dramatically, starting to type furiously through your blurry vision. You felt the tear slip down your cheek and you went to furiously wipe it.

...(Lunchtime: Thursday Afternoon)

Sobbing in the bathroom was a thing right?

Your two friends, Dahyun and Sana stood outside the bathroom stall as you sobbed into your hands. They were convincing you to not quit.

“Y/N, You know this is the only job that will let you live comfortably in this city. Other than being a teacher...and who’d want that?” Sana shuddered. “He’s done this more than TWICE now.” (...I’M NOT SORRY)

“I HATE HIM! I FUCKING HATE HIM.” You cried. “WHY IS HE ALWAYS MEAN TO ME!” You furiously wiped your eyes.

“Y/N, Open the door.” Dahyun sighed. “Let us in.”

The stall door slowly open and your two friends were met by a totally distraught woman. Your hands were stained with your eyeliner that you hand managed to completely wipe off leaving your tired face.

“Y/N, he’s working you to the bone. You don’t even smile anymore.” Sana kneeled in front of you, taking your dirty hands into hers. “Why do you let him bully you?”

“Because if I don’t, I won’t have a job.” you sniffed.

“Is someone dying in here?” you heard Miss. Hyuna, another boss walk in. “Aw honey, did a boyfriend break up with you...do you want me to ‘accidentally’ get his car towed?”

Miss Hyuna was both Sana’s and Dahyun’s boss, you guys just liked to have lunch together.

“It’s Mr. Min.” Dahyun spoke for you. “He’s working Y/N to the bone. He only ever bullies her and no one else. I’ve seen it personally.”

“Is that so?” she raised an eyebrow, looking less than happy. “Is that true Miss. L/N. Is Mr. Min treating you unfairly?”

You couldn’t speak, so you just nodded.

“All he does is yell at and belittle her every chance he gets.” Sana looked at Miss. Hyuna.

“Hm, I’ll go talk to him, right now. If he fires you, he’ll answer to me.” was all she said before she walked away. She ignored Sana trying to hold you back from stopping her.

Hyuna walked out of the bathroom with fire in her eyes. She walked by your desk only to see what looked like an open notebook with the words ‘The Min Yoongi Files’ written in permanent marker on the first page.

“This must be her case.” she shut the notebook, ignoring the childish looking anime stickers on the inside page. “I should take this for evidence, I hope she won’t mind.”

“Yoongi!” Hyuna stormed into his office, shutting the door behind her.

“Hey Hyuna, what’s up?” Yoongi looked up from his lunch. “What can I do for you?”

“What’s this I hear about you mistreating a worker? One of YOUR workers?”

“Pardon me?” he raised an eyebrow. “Mistreating?”

“Two of MY workers are busy consoling Y/N L/N in the ladies restroom on their lunch break of all times because according to all three of them, you’ve been unfairly treating her!!” she glared. She slammed the notebook down on his desk. “This should speak for itself.” she sighed.

“I don’t mistreat Y/N L/N, She’s insolent! She needs discipline.”

“SHE’S YOUNG.” Was Hyuna’s comeback. “You can’t treat her like she’s a piece of garbage just because she makes one typo!”

“Her typos cost us time.”

“So does your shameless reprimanding her for missing a semicolon.” she rebutted. “Think about it! Are men always this stupid.” she looked him up and down before walking out of his office.

Yoongi watched dumbfounded. He took at look at the notebook she left behind.

“Property of Y/N L/N.” he read aloud. He flipped it open to the first page to see a bunch of shiny and matte stickers all over the inside cover. “The Min Yoongi Files? Speak for itself, huh?” (read more below the break)

...

(The Next Morning) (Smut Warning)

You begrudgingly trudged into the office. Not only were you tired, but you were dreading. You had multiple deadlines.

“L/N, MY OFFICE.”

“Shit...” you seethed. You walked past your desk into Yoongi’s office. He was sitting at his desk, flipping through the pages of a very familiar looking book. “You wanted to see me sir?”

“Yes, I did.” he shut the book and slid it over to you. “Care to explain?”

“Holy fu- ” You had forgotten you left your diary on your desk. How did he get a hold of that?

“ I found that little journal you made about me. I think it’s so cute how you fantasize about me, darling. Hyuna gave it to me thinking it was a list of every terrible thing I’ve done to you. I didn’t know it would be a list of every terrible thing you wanted me to do to you.” his face spread into a smirk.

“You read my property-”

“My name is on it, which means it’s company property by association.” he was still smirking. “Y/N, Y/N Y/N...I didn’t know you were such a needy little girl. On my desk, in the breakroom? The elevator of all places?? I didn’t even know you enjoyed when I raised my voice.“ he raised an eyebrow. “You do realize I could have you fired for writing about me in such a way.”

“Yes sir.” you whimpered. “I’ll have all my sh-..stuff off my desk by-”

“Y/N what on earth are you talking about?” he raised an eyebrow. “Surely you don’t think you are fired.”

“I’m sorry?” you raised an eyebrow, becoming very confused.

“Even though I’m an asshole, a big jerk, and the bane of your existence, you still want me?” he raised an eyebrow. “Maybe you have more of a backbone than I thought. I sure as hell wouldn’t want to miss a chance to break that spirit of yours.” he rose to his feet and walked around his desk to face you. “Get over here.” he urged.

He grabbed you by the hand and yanked you to his chest. He crashed his hot mouth over yours, capturing you in a kiss. He held both sides of your face gingerly. In a shock, you held onto his blazer jacket to stop from falling over.

“Hmm.” he moaned.

“Mr. Min!” you gasped. “We can’t- I’m your secretary!! And I don’t know if you’re aware of this but you hate me.”

“ Whose gonna stop us? I own this fucking place, baby. “ he laughed manically. “And who the hell said I hated you? Plus you want this. I know you do because you wouldn’t have written about me throwing you on my desk and eating that little pussy...fuck that was my favorite story to date.” he spoke in a babyish voice. “Shit I’ve always loved what that ass does to me.”

You felt yourself melt in every way. The thought that someone would storm in didn’t even cross your mind. He back you up against the table, sitting you on the desk. Yoongi tore off his blazer and hastily undid his necktie.

He broke away from you, allowing you to suck in air. You took a deep breath as you felt your lips. He practically tore his shirt open, buttons flying everywhere to reveal that body. To say you were taken aback was the understatement of the century.

“ That’s right, you fucking worship me don’t you?” he smirked as you stared him down “ Look up at me like I’m your god” he quoted the exact words from the entry you had written just 5 days ago.

“Oh, you read the whole thing.” you squeaked. “I am so fucked.” you whimpered.

“I’ll be honest, I’ve been needing a good way to unleash my stress.” he shrugged. “This is perfect..” he motioned, tugging the hem of your shirt, playing with and unfastening each button. “I can take out my stress and you get to feel the real thing instead of writing shameless fan fiction.” he laughed. “Don’t make any mistakes,” he drank in your body. “I want this to be more than sex.”

Before you could say another word, Yoongi wrapped his arms around your waist again. He leaned down and softly kissed your lips. You just prayed he didn’t taste the bacon, egg, and, cream cheese bagel you ate this morning. You didn’t know what to do, so you shyly returned his affections.

“Come on, act like how you write about. Moan for me, grab my hair-” he mumbled through kisses. “Kiss me like you hate me.” he grunted. “Unless-...”

He abruptly yanked down your skirt along with your panties. “Maybe we should do this right. Spread em, secretary.”

He wasted no time in hooking your legs around his shoulders.

“Mr. M-min.” you whimpered, feeling something wet trailed up your slit.

“Shit...you taste so fucking good.” he moaned. “Damnit Y/N, you coulda told me you wanted me earlier.” he flicked his tongue against your clit. “Maybe if you had a good fuck, your reports would be more punctual.”

“That report wasn’t due and you know it.” you found it in you to reply. You tilted your head back, feeling his fingers be introduced into your tightness. “F-fuh”

“Come on, you love this shit.” he laughed, lashing his tongue against you. “Beg for me, beg for my mouth, beg for me to make you cum.” he moaned into your heat. “I said FUCKING BEG! ” he thrust his fingers even deeper. “Come on, scream my name.”

“M. Min, I- we- you....”

“Not that...my first name...fucking say it I wanna hear it. I wanna hear if its as cute in my mind when I read how I made you squirt all over my fucking desk.” he kept moving his mouth and fingers against you.

“Y-yoongi.” you obeyed. This only encouraged him.

“I’m gonna corrupt your mind. I love to play with you like you’re a fucking violin.” he giggled.

(3 days later... )

You were sitting at your desk when a stack of papers was thrown on your desk.

“There are 8 typos, fix them.” was all he said before he walked off.

“Not again.” your work friend, seethed “what is it this time.“ She didn’t look up from her computer as you flipped through the pages.

My office, now secretary ;). Followed by a whole bunch of gibberish that lasted several pages.

“I’ll go talk to him” you rolled your eyes, taking the pile with you. You walked into his office. “Okay sir-” you began, walking through the door. You closed it behind you. “What seems to be the-”

Before you could talk any more, you felt his hand trail under your skirt. You felt his breathy laugh on the back of your neck.

“I was hoping...we could go over your reports last week. I don’t think we got enough done, do you?”

(I was on a deadline....BUT I DID IT, my head is POUNDING)

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baejl · 3 years ago

Text

jyp

twice 10th member au

jade reacting to alcohol-free for the first time, and well, her reaction wasn’t one of the best

WARNINGS: this is just for fun and functional purposes. I LOVED the song, but I tried to imagine Jade's reaction and it turned out like this. enjoy.

masterlist 👽 requests are open feedback is awalys important to me!

Taking heavy steps to the studio, Jade was sure that anyone who passed by her could feel her impatience exhaling. She wasn't for smiles or chats that morning, more than the usual.

Maybe, it was just her morning mood. Maybe, it was because she couldn't sleep while thinking about the new choreography. Maybe, it was because Jinyoung kept asking their opinion on the songs even though he'd completely ignore them and do what he wanted.

Or maybe, it was all of that.

Getting inside the meeting room, Jade gave a light bow to the people there, wanting only to go back to the dance practice quickly.

Seating on the empty chair next to Momo, she let out an annoyed breath, unlocking her phone and scrolling down her Twitter feed.

"What's wrong?" she heard Momo asking, leaning over her shoulder.

"Since when do they care about what we think about the songs?" Jade asked, referring to the directors and managers. "This is a waste of time. A time where I could be doing anything more productive."

"Calm down, Jade-ssi." Momo giggled, lightly shaking Jade's shoulder to cheer her up. "You're too stressed these days."

Jade locked her phone and put it back on the table with some aggressivity, attracting some scared looks from the managers. She opened a fake smile and winked at Momo, who scoffed.

"Thank you, unnie. I'm so much relaxed now!" Jade forced a girly voice and then rolled her eyes, going back to her grumpy mood.

Momo laughed out loud with her reaction, not even caring if Jade was mad or not, and stuck back to her arm, placing her head on Jade's shoulder again.

The door opening and seven other girls storming into the room called people's attention. Jade closed her ears, not ready for the loud noise.

"Ayo!" Dahyun said, greeting the girls with a quick high-five.

"Oh my, you're so loud..." Jade mumbled.

"Hello, my little sunshine!" Sana said, kissing Jade's forehead, knowing that she hated it, and by the way Jade looked at her, she succeed in her mission.

"Hello, everyone!"

Jinyoung's voice echoed on Jade's head, and she was just so ready to leave.

"Good morning." the people in the room answered him.

"So, we're here today to finally listen to TWICE's new single, Alcohol-Free." he said, showing the cover of their new song on the board, and the other people clapped. "Girls," he called their attention. "somethings may be different from the last time you heard it, but I'm sure you'll like it."

Not that it made any difference, Jade thought to herself.

"Okay." Jihyo said for them.

"Get ready, everyone." one of the managers said, smiling widely. "This is going to be TWICE's biggest hit."

Jade scoffed, and she felt Momo hugging her arm tighter as a way to calm her down.

Jinyoung pressed the space bar on his keyboard, and they could feel his ego growing as some managers and critics started writing some things on their notebooks.

The girls involuntarily started bumping their heads in the same rhythm as the acoustic guitar in the intro, enjoying the summer-ish concept of the song. But it didn't take two seconds until Jade hissed and cringed into the chair with that - awful - 'JYP' whisper.

"Oh my God..." Nayeon whisper, covering her mouth with her hand, also shocked.

"What the fuck?" Jade let out, making the people laugh. "When was that added?"

Having her answer as a shared silence, Jade decided to focus on the rest of the song, but nothing could make her forget about that damn whisper. That thing was following her for years now, and she finally thought she was rid of that when Jinyoung stopped putting it on the songs.

It was actually a deal: as long as she didn't use her 'Jade' whisper, he wouldn't use his 'JYP' thingy. But he cleared ignored that.

The overall song was perfect. From the instrumentals to the harmonies, the production team really exceeded her expectations for this song. One of her biggest fear was that it would be a copy of 'Dance the Night Away', but it was totally different.

Yet, that whisper was still on Jade's mind. While everyone seemed to be fine with that, Jade was almost breaking the chair with how strong she was leaning back, trying not to cringe every time she remembered the sound. She couldn't even enjoy her part thinking of that.

As if it wasn't enough, they decided to play the song twice just to make her agony worse. When it was over, everyone clapped, everyone but Jade, who was still too shocked to do anything else.

"It was amazing!" one of the producers said.

"Clearly one of our next successes..." another manager agreed with him. "Congratulation to the girls and to JYP PD-nim, who worked on this masterpiece."

They started clapping to the man, who was smiling as if he had just won the lottery.

The girls looked at each other, trying to communicate through telepathy to decide who would be the brave one who would say anything about that whisper.

Jihyo and Jade looked at each other, and Jihyo tilted her head to the managers as a sign for Jade to do it. Jade pointed at herself and mouthed a 'me?', Jihyo only nodding in response.

"Well," Jade finally said, making the attention turn at her. "aren't you going to ask us what we thought of the song we are going to sing?" The whole room got quiet, the managers and critics switching looks at each other, looking at Jade and then JYP.

"Sorry," he scoffed. "what?"

"You added that corny 'JYP' thing without even asking us what we think of that." she said, pointing at the board. "

"Yes, because I thought it'd fit the whole mood." he answered.

"Well, sorry if anyone told you this. But it doesn't." Jade said without even hesitating and showed him a thin smile, shrugging. "It doesn't, PD-nim."

"You're only doing this because I didn't add yours too." he said, crossing his arms.

"Thank God you didn't!" she said, laughing. "Mine's too precious to be on the same song as yours."

"You can't be talking for all of you." JYP said, having some hope at least of the girls would come up in his defence. When he realised it wasn't the case, he sighed. "I'm not taking that out, Jade."

"Then add mine." Jade suggested. "If you really want to make a corny thing, then do it right."

JYP looked at the managers, the critics and then at the girls. Jade knew he was too proud to let go of whisper, especially because she was the one who was against it but at least she was trying.

"I'm not adding yours." he narrowed his eyes at Jade, trying to intimidate her.

"Then take yours out." she simply said.

"Calm down, guys." the head director of the production team said, getting up. "I'm sure we can get to a solution."

"Sure we can, if he takes his whisper out." Jade said.

"Do you guys agree with that?" JYP asked the girls.

"Well..." Tzuyu mumbled.

"I mean..." Chaeyoung said, shrugging.

"We thought that maybe..." Dahyun tried to help.

"Okay!" JYP said, raising his hands in defeat. "I'm adding Jade's whisper but I'm not taking mine's out."

The girls got up together and started to celebrate their comeback. They gave a big group hug, saying luck and encouraging words to each other for their next era.

Jade got out of the hug and went next to JYP, patting his head.

"Good boy, good boy."

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smoochkooks · 4 years ago

Text

—chapter two: of peonies and broken promises

this is a part of my an ode to a broken heart drabble series.

pairing: jeon jungkook/reader

genre: unrequited love, best friends to (?), heavy angst, future smut

word count: 1.4k words

summary: you are twenty-four, hopelessly in love with your best friend and the smell of peonies still makes you nauseous, just like it did eleven years ago.

previous || next

Jungkook's apartment is an epitome of him.

Wherever you look, you spot a piece of him. A single, wooden shelf in the living room where he placed all his analog cameras, because he loves photography. The replica of Van Gogh's Starry night hanging just above the navy blue couch, because he loves art. White walls of his bedroom decorated with movie posters; among them the newest addition to the collection: French Parasite poster you remember him buying recently. He traded stupid amount of money for it and you'd scold him for doing so if you didn’t know how much he enjoys cinematography.

Staring at this back as he makes coffee, you almost forget why you came her in first place. It's trivial: the latest software update on your laptop made it work more sluggish for some unknown to you reason. Jungkook has always been good with technology (hence his degree in digital art), helping you fix things on your laptop whenever the issue isn’t too complicated for him to deal with it on his own.

You feel a little embarrassed, asking him for help again (as if he wasn’t installing a new antivirus software for you a few weeks ago) but Jungkook beat you to it, assuring you it was absolutely fine before you could recite a round of apologies upon entering his apartment.

It’s just the way he is – the kindest, most selfless person you have ever met. Helping others seems to be etched into his brain for good.

“Here you go,” he says, placing a cup coffee in front of you. “I still haven’t quite figured out how the coffee machine works so I hope it doesn’t taste like shit.”

You smile, wrapping your fingers around the cup. Jungkook is a tea person, something he most definitely took after his mother, who has a separate cabinet in the kitchen filled with various kinds of tea. That’s why it’s so funny to you that somehow he insisted on buying a ridiculously expensive coffee machine a few months ago when he moved into his new apartment.

You wish you could focus on the delicate scent of his blueberry tea. You wish you could let yourself be overwhelmed by the aroma of your freshly made coffee. Anything.

Instead, all you can process is the intense, nauseous smell of the peonies standing right before you.

They’re definitely new, wrapped up prettily and ready to be gifted to someone special. Jungkook notices your lingering gaze, and clears his throat.

“Soojin's coming later today. They’re her favourite.”

He didn’t need to give any explanation to you. It’s his life, his girlfriend, his plans, her favourite flowers, her perfect boyfriend. You’re just you. Yet for some unknown to you reason, he felt and urge to mention it anyway.

“I didn’t peg you for the gentleman type.” you say to break the awkward silence. It’s anything but true, so Jungkook snorts in response.

“Aish, I always give you a single red rose for your birthday, Valentine’s Day and Women's day as well! And we know each other for eighteen years!” he reasons, somewhat defensive.

You force yourself to grin. “I know, I know. I was just fucking with you,” He huffs and takes a sip of his tea. As soon as he does that, he regrets it, muttering “Shit, it’s hot.” under his breath. “Soojin's lucky to have you.” you add.

Despite coming off as a confident person on daily basis, Jungkook gets insecure too.

You remember vividly the look in his eyes when he told you he didn’t deserve her. It was right at the beginning of their relationship, they were still getting to know each other and Jungkook couldn’t possibly understand why out of all the boys Soojin could date, she had chosen him. A digital art major who liked talking about cinematography and ate ramen at 2am in the morning when he couldn’t sleep.

Back then, you wished he could see himself with your eyes. For you, he was far more attractive than any guy you saw on campus. For you, he was talented, hardworking, passionate. No doubt Soojin fell for him.

But Jungkook was twenty-one back then. He lacked self-assurance he has now. It irritated you that he viewed Soojin as some sort of goddess who took pity on him. Although a lot has changed since, he still could quite literally kiss the ground she walks on.

You watch as a small tingle of blush covers the apples of his cheeks. Pink, just like the peonies standing before you. Pink, just like the flowers you hate so much.

11 years ago

June was beautiful that year. You spent most of your time after school in Jungkook's garden, seated by the wooden table and doing your homework.

His mother besides tea, loved planting flowers. And June was the month of peonies. There was so many of them, invading your senses with their sweet yet nauseous smell.

Jungkook was scribbling something in his notebook. You doubted it was anything Math-related, judging by the quick and harsh strokes of his pen. ‘’Do you know Sana?” he asked out of the blue, startling you.

“That new girl from Japan? What about her?”

“Jimin says she has a crush on me.” he answered, his eyes still glued to the paper. You noticed he was sketching some anime character's angry face.

Your eyes involuntarily widened. “How does Jimin know that?”

“Dunno. He told me he heard some girls talking about it in cafeteria the other day.” Finally, he dropped his pen and looked up. His brows were furrowed and he had a sour look on his face. “I don’t want her to have a crush on me.”

At that, your heart started beating faster. You were just fourteen and yet already so stupidly in love with your best friend. “Why?” you asked before you could stop yourself.

You knew girls were checking out Jungkook here and there. He was a top athlete, had good grades and had grown at least ten centimeters taller over the year. He also had let his mother (and you) convince him to cut his hair shorter lately, getting rid of the emo fringe he was sporting for the past six months. Of course some pretty girl like Sana would have a crush on him.

Somehow, Jungkook had always been oblivious to that, or at least you thought so. This was the first time he decided to talk to you about it.

He sighed, looking away from you as if he was embarrassed all of a sudden. You could swear you saw his cheeks flush. “Because I don’t even like her. You’re the only girl I can stand being with.”

Now it was your turn to blush. As best as you could, you tried to ignore the funny, giddy feeling in your chest. “You know you'll have to marry some girl one day, right?”

“Then I’ll ask you to marry me,” Jungkook said and for the first time since he had started this conversation, he actually looked you in the eye. When he saw your shocked expression, he mumbled, “Maybe in like… ten years or something. Once we are out of college.”

You snorted, nudging his side. Despite the butterflies fluttering in your stomach, you regained your composure. “Do you think I will put up with your for that long?”

“We know each other since we were six and you haven’t run away yet. Besides, I’m the only boy you aren’t scared to talk to.”

“Hey! That’s–Maybe it’ll change in the future! Maybe–”

Jungkook ignored you and instead thrusted his pinky finger in your direction. You stopped speaking right away. Pinky promises held little significance yet for some reason, you felt like it was a serious situation. And if the determined look on your best friend's face was anything to go by, he thought the same.

“If we don’t find anyone worth giving our heart to by the time we are twenty-five, let’s get married. Promise?”

You were astonished, to say the least, staring at this hand with wide eyes. You were only fourteen back then and to hear something like that from the boy you loved was like a teenage dream come true. You replied with blind devotion. Because there was only one, good answer to such question.

“Promise.”

You are twenty-four now, hopelessly in love with your best friend and the smell of peonies still makes you nauseous.

#jungkook smut #btswritingcafe #bangtanarmynet #bangtanhq #ksmutclub #jungkook angst #jungkook x reader #my writing #an ode to a broken heart

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bvidzsoo · 4 years ago

Text

Poison (Part 4)

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: Kim Mingyu x female reader

Warnings: lots of cursing, blood, mild violence

Word count: 18, 095

Summary: It seemed like Sana only brought more complications to your relationship with Mingyu and now you weren’t even sure where you stood with him. Finals hanging around were only adding on to your stress and your bad habit of building up your emotions finally blew up in your face, causing mayhem.

Taglist: @chal-kagyu @taeyongandfree @cheolliehugs @3rachaonlyfans

A/N: Part 4 is here everyone! Get buckled up because this one is a rollercoaster of feelings, but you know, life isn’t just rainbows and sunshine, sometimes it gets dark and rains too. If you would like to be added onto the taglist, just click here and leave a message. I hope you enjoy this part!

A day turned into two days; two days turned into three. Mingyu was busy with this sudden mysterious business everyone around me knew about, but refused to tell me; and I was busy studying for my finals with Seungcheol. Irene was nice enough to take one or two extra shifts to cover for my absence when I stayed up all night reading and reading for my thesis, and Vernon dropped by every day to drag me out for lunch to make sure I ate something at least once a day. I was beyond busy, and so was my brain overthinking every single little thing when it came to Mingyu. Yesterday, I noticed even the slight peachy smell combined with his cologne and it was enough to throw me off for the whole day. I was on edge every time I was around him and I hated it. I hated jealousy. This isn’t who I was before, with my other partners I couldn’t care less, but even just the thought of Mingyu with any other woman was enough to send me into an uncontrollable fury. It was a horrible feeling and it was bubbling up more and more inside of me, but I ignored it. For various reasons. First of all, I didn’t want to seem like a controlling, jealous girlfriend who jumps at other girls’ throats for daring to breathe in their boyfriend’s direction. Secondly, my pride wouldn’t let me tell Mingyu just yet, because deep down, I knew I was overreacting and that there was nothing going on between Sana and him. It was pure business, and I really understand that, but the way Sana acted around him; and he let her act like that; made my blood boil in my most peaceful moments. I’d randomly remember it in the middle of class and Seungcheol would give me a weird look, asking if I was okay, and I’d just nod wordlessly while trying to distract myself. Sometimes while on the phone with my parents, Sana wrapping her hand on Mingyu’s shoulder possessively would flash before my eyes, and my mother would point out the stress lacing my voice and I’d make a pathetic excuse that the cause were my finals hanging around. Other times, I’d be taking lunch with Vernon and Sana’s annoying voice would ring through my ears and I’d slam my spoon on the table too hard, creating a small commotion, but at least Vernon never questioned it. Vernon seemed to understand me without me even saying anything, and he never pushed me over the edge with his excessive questioning, like Seungcheol does. Even Irene noticed how tense my shoulders would be every day at 3:15, knowing well Mingyu was about to pass in front of the bookstore; which he actually stopped doing so often. My heart would jump in my throat every time I got a message form Mingyu and I’d have to stop myself from answering back aggressively. I even stopped texting him, afraid that I’d overshare how I was feeling without realizing. And that led to one or two things, which ended up with a pissed Mingyu and me screaming at him at 10 pm.

It started out as a normal night. I was sitting at the table in the kitchen, notebooks scattered around and coffee placed aside for another all-nighter. Seungcheol was on a last-minute notice business Jeonghan needed him to be at, so he skipped studying with me. I asked Mingyu to let Seungcheol off for two weeks, so that he can study for his finals, but Mingyu’s only answer was that ‘he’ll manage’. I was reading through my notes when the front door was unlocked, and of course, Mingyu walked in like this was his apartment. I was already in a bad mood, thoughts of how he acted towards me when Sana showed up swarm around in my head, and him showing up uninvited really ticked me off the wrong way.

“Y/N—”

“I’m studying!” I snapped from the kitchen, not bothering to welcome him like I usually would do. There was shuffling in the hallway and in came Mingyu, his shoes discarded at the door. His long coat clung to his body and he rubbed his hands together, beaming down at me.

“Where’s my kiss—”

“I said, I’m studying.” I said through gritted teeth, trying to calm myself down. I wasn’t being fair to Mingyu by not talking about what was bothering me, but I felt childish. I thought he’d laugh at me and even tease me about what was worrying me so much. I didn’t want to tell him, but it just made me feel worse.

“It takes only about a second to kiss me—”

“Mingyu!” I exclaimed, slamming my notebook on the table, “Can you leave me alone?!”

His eyebrows rose as I glared at him, hands shaking from anger but also fatigue. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and I gulped, almost spilling my frustrations.

“I don’t see you all day and then you blow up on me as if I did something wrong,” He said with a grimace, voice turning cold, “Thanks, my day was also amazing.”

I sighed and closed my eyes for a second, trying to stay rational, “I have finals next week, I need to study, my future depends on these marks, Mingyu. You can’t come by everyday unannounced and bother me! I can’t go on daily dates and act carefree when I have responsibilities to take care of! And you—you just—”

“I what?” Mingyu snapped, uncrossing his arms and storming inside the kitchen, “Is it so wrong I want to be with my girlfriend because I miss her? Because I think of her non-stop when I’m not with her? Because I like her so much, I want to be next to her all the time?”

“Mingyu—”

“No, Y/N,” He snapped, eyebrows furrowing and I stood up, regretting my outburst, “I have responsibilities too! A lot, actually, problems that could kill lives if I don’t take the right choices! I am responsible of twelve people’s lives and other innocent civilians that get involved with us! Do you really think I have all the time in the world to run around you? Be with you always?”

I huffed and threw my hands in the air, “Then why did you do it for the past six months? Why were you there daily for me, when I made it crystal clear I wanted nothing to do with you!? I didn’t ask you to do it.”

Mingyu stared at me, jaw clenched, and I felt my hands shake more, “Why offer me so much attention when—when—business is more important in the end? When a—woman, any kind of woman—is more important than I am?”

I didn’t even realize my voice raised louder and louder, until I was done shouting the question. And I felt pathetic, I saw it in his eyes too, how Mingyu frowned and looked at me like I grew another head. I wanted to cry right there and then, pinch myself for letting that slip.

“What woman, Y/N?” He whispered, lips in a sneer, “Why are you not answering my texts—no, why did you stop texting me?”

I shrugged not trusting my voice and looked away, clenching and unclenching my hands into fists, “Because I’m busy.”

“Busy with what?”

“Studying.”

There was silence and I didn’t have the nerve to look at Mingyu, instead, I stared at the mug of coffee on the table. A loud, malicious, giggle bubbled out of Mingyu’s lips and my temper flared once again, “No, you are busy hanging out with Vernon for lunch dates. You are busy having fun with Irene at the bookstore, gossiping. You have fun with Seungcheol on your movie nights. And you have fun ignoring me and then blaming it all on me. I’m done playing this push and pull game of yours, Y/N, I’m sick of it all.”

“That’s not what this is about!” I was quick to defend myself, feeling sick by his words. They weren’t true, I really was busy studying, the others were just trying to distract me from losing myself and becoming overly stressed, “I study day and night, my finals are coming up! Okay, why would I lie to you?”

“I don’t know, that’s a good question, Y/N,” Mingyu scoffed and turned around, jaw clenched, “Why don’t you ponder on it and then answer it yourself?”

I gulped and watched as he walked out into the hallway, jaw clenching more, and I panicked. I didn’t want him to leave pissed and misunderstand the whole situation which I caused because I’m insecure and too stubborn to admit my jealousy.

“Mingyu—”

“Save it, okay?!” His voice raised and I flinched, staring into his blazing eyes when he turned around.

“If you leave through that door,” My voice got shaky as I pointed towards the front door, “I’m breaking up with you.”

The silence was deafening and I could hear my heart thumping loudly, as if it was in my ears. My skin tingled and when Mingyu stared back at me blankly, it made me more anxious. Why did I even say that? I didn’t want to break up with him, fuck, he’s probably one of the best things that happened to me in this life.

“Whatever,” He muttered and swiftly pulled on his shoes, his expression so cold, I didn’t recognize the man standing in front of me. I’ve never seen him so passive before, not even the night of our first encounter. He always showed some sort of emotions, seeing him like this was scarier than seeing him angry. I knew he was about to leave and I couldn’t stop the few tears from falling and I bit my lower lip, gulping down my pride for once.

“I’m so stressed, Mingyu, I can’t even think straight anymore, okay?!” I was shouting once again, but my voice was shaking and raw, “I tried to—not be like this, but I can’t when—Sana just shows up and you don’t even acknowledge me anymore! You let her be all over you and I’m just standing there like a fucking idiot! Like I’m not even your girlfriend but your maid! And these finals—I have to pass them, okay? You can’t interrupt me all the time, these are important, I really can’t—”

I choked on air, finally running out of energy to scream at him. I didn’t even know what I was saying anymore, I just needed him to stay and hug me. I needed Seungcheol; him to tell me everything would be alright. Mingyu watched me stunned, his anger still lingering, but he was more shocked than anything else.

“Sana, she’s not—”

“Whatever.” I snapped, wiping my tears away, “I have to study. Leave or stay, I don’t care.”

I turned to walk back to the kitchen but Mingyu held my wrist, “You have to talk to me, I’m not a mind reader, sugar.”

“Yeah, I’m not either, so maybe next time warn me when you have a woman over that wants to fuck you right in front of me.” I snapped and pulled my wrist away harshly, ignoring Mingyu’s sigh.

“Sana is not—”

“Goodbye, Mingyu.” A groan came from the doorway and I downed my coffee in one go, running my hands through my hair.

“If you think you can break up with me like that, you are stupid.” I scoffed and turned to look at him, not caring that he could see the redness in my eyes.

“Suck my dick, Mingyu.” A wide smirk spread onto his lips and I looked away scowling, my blood boiling once again.

“Text me when you’ve calmed down, sugar.” I flipped him off and he was out of my apartment, slamming the door shut. I scoffed and bit my lower lip, clearing my throat and glancing at the clock. I’ll have to buy some Sugus tomorrow for the kids staying next door and apologize to their parents for being so loud; it was out of the norm; I was a quiet person.

Leaned against the counter, eyes wide open, I stared down at the white pages covered in letters and letters that seemed to not make any sense anymore. I clenched my jaw and focused harder, but I couldn’t even read the words anymore.

“Y/N,” I jumped when a soft hand gripped mine, “Can you please blink, you’re scaring me.”

“I thought staring down at my notes will help me memorize it all—” I let a cry fall from my lips, “It’s not working!”

Laughter bubbled up from Irene and I sighed, abandoning the thought of studying anything for the moment, “I can’t do this anymore!”

“I’m glad you finally realized!” Irene exclaimed and quickly slammed my notebook shut, pushing it away, “I thought I would have to wrestle you away.”

“No…” I muttered and took a seat behind the cashier, turning towards Irene, lips pulled in a tight line.

“What’s bothering you?” She asked softly, pushing up her glasses.

“Ah, I just—” I sighed and bit down on my lip, Irene didn’t know about me and Mingyu, “Just, you know, I had an argument with…Seungcheol? Yeah, it made me really sad and now I’m just pondering on it, I guess.”

“You should both apologize,” Irene said with a shrug and I hummed, “Communication is key, Y/N, you have to speak in order to solve your problems.”

I sighed and looked down at my hands, “I suck at communicating about my feelings.”

She placed another reassuring hand on my arm and I smiled at her, “He’ll come around, he always does, doesn’t he?”

Yeah, Mingyu comes around after he cools down. I apologized after my outburst and Mingyu showed up with chocolate cake, saying that it was the magical ingredient you needed after you got into a fight. I argued that it was the magical ingredient if you piss off your girlfriend when she’s on her period, but eventually had to agree with Mingyu, chocolate cake was a good way of making up. We both admitted to having been wrong, even though Mingyu really didn’t do anything. He tried to bring up Sana again, multiple times actually, but I refused to talk about it again. It doesn’t mean I still didn’t think about it all. The outburst didn’t help much, my beliefs stayed the same about the two, but at least I could close my eyes before sleeping without seeing the two all over each other behind my eyes.

The door opened, letting a cold gush of wind inside, and Irene was on her feet with a wide smile.

“Hi!” She squeaked out and I looked at her confused, turning my head. My eyebrows furrowed when I ended up looking at Jeonghan.

“Uh,” I narrowed my eyes at him, glancing at a smiling Irene, “Hi?”

“Good morning, ladies.” He said politely, sending a small wink at us, “I come with good news.”

“Uh—” I looked between Irene and Jeonghan, “You know…Irene?”

“Of course!” Irene exclaimed, throwing me a small glare, “Jeonghan really likes to read, he comes around every few days, right?”

Jeonghan and Irene shared a subtle look and I furrowed my eyebrows at them, “Weird.”

“Yeah, Y/N, in my free time, when my boss isn’t breathing down my neck, I really like to read.” Jeonghan threw me a knowing look and I grimaced, rolling my eyes, “And I live two blocks away.”

“You what?” I exclaimed, eyes widening.

“Yeah,” He threw me a smirk before looking back at Irene with a soft smile, “I like taking walks from time to time—”

“Motherfucker.” I snapped, palms balling into fists. That’s why Mingyu stopped coming by so frequently, Jeonghan was right here to look after me when he couldn’t, and I didn’t even realize that. Holy shit, Jeonghan has amazing stalking skills if I didn’t even realize!

“Y/N!” Irene exclaimed, eyebrows furrowed in desperation, “Shut up!”

Jeonghan cleared his throat and looked at Irene with a charming grin, “So, I’m going clubbing with a few friends tomorrow…would you like to tag along?”

“Yes!” Irene didn’t miss a beat when she answered, eyes set on Jeonghan’s face, “Y/N is coming too! She’s been studying like crazy; she needs a little break.”

“Yeah…” I shook my head, “I’m not coming. I’m not exactly in the mood for—”

“My friend would appreciate if I brought more girls with us, he doesn’t take ‘no’ as an answer.” Jeonghan said playfully, but I understood the underlying message. This was Mingyu’s plan all along, that fucker. Irene threw us a confused glance before clearing her throat.

“Well, then, we’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Sure, Vernon will pick you up girls,” Jeonghan winked at Irene and she blushed; I sighed, “I’m working beforehand, otherwise I would’ve picked you up.”

“Vernon Chwe?” Irene’s eyebrows rose in surprise as she glanced at me, “You know him?”

Jeonghan chuckled and leaned against the counter, “He’s a good friend of mine.”

“What a coincidence…” I muttered with a glare and Irene nodded, not bothering to look at me as Jeonghan seemed to lean closer in towards her.

“Nothing is a coincidence, Y/N.” He said with a shit eating grin and I glared at him, “See you, Irene.”

“See you!” Irene said breathless and followed Jeonghan with her eyes until he was outside the door. I scoffed and looked at her, not believing what I just found out. Just what other things did Mingyu not tell me? I slapped Irene’s arm to get her attention, and she glared at me.

“What?” She snapped and I rolled my eyes.

“You are a smart woman, please, stay away from Jeonghan.” I looked at her with a serious expression, not wishing a similar fate to mine for her. She was a sweet person; she didn’t need someone like Jeonghan to taint her.

“Don’t worry,” Irene giggled and turned around, walking away, “I only want to fuck him.”

“What!” I shrieked as Irene laughed loudly, disappearing between the rows of bookcases, “Are you serious—wait for me!”

And that’s how I ended up with Seungcheol, Irene, and Vernon in my apartment at seven in the afternoon, getting ready for the party. The boys were being loud in the living room; they were arguing five minutes ago who was the best team in Formula 1; while Irene and I worked quietly in my bed room, music filling the room. I asked her to straighten my hair for me and I helped her pull hers in a really tight, high pony-tail. We did our makeup and chatted about what our plans were for the upcoming spring break, our boss gave us a two week leave as he was going overseas for some conference. I attempted to sneakily study a little bit, but Irene noticed me taking glances at my notebook and she threw it in one of my drawers when I wasn’t looking. I shook my head at her but said nothing, she was right after all, I was stressing myself out even further. When we were ready, we quickly got dressed. Irene told me she would bring over a dress for me when I told her I didn’t have anything to wear for the party, and my jaw dropped to the floor when she threw the leather, black dress at me.

“You want me to wear this?” I exclaimed; eyes wide as I held the dress in my hands.

“Duh,” Irene said with a chuckle, not even glancing at me as she pulled on her black mini-dress which had a dangerously high cut at her right thigh. The long sleeves clung to her arms like a second skin and in a swift motion her high heel boots were on, and Irene was ready to leave.

“Stop standing there like a dummy,” She chuckled as she passed by me to get her phone, “We are supposed to leave in—”

“Y/N!” Seungcheol hollered from outside the bedroom door, knocking aggressively, “When are you done?”

“In five minutes!” Irene called back and I sighed, knowing I had no choice but to wear the dress now. I made a mental reminder to never trust Irene with picking a dress for me. Reluctantly, I pulled on the tight dress, groaning when it stopped mid-thigh.

“Why is it so short?!” I exclaimed, throwing daggers at Irene with my eyes when she giggled.

“Because you’re taller than I am!” I groaned and walked to the mirror, grimacing when I saw myself. The dress was off the shoulders and it clung to my whole body like a second skin. It had a belt at the waist that I tied tightly, and of course a zipper at the front, which was the only thing keeping the dress together. Irene grinned when she stopped beside me and patted my back.

“I knew this would look bomb on you,” I threw her a small glare and suddenly, her fingers gripped the zipper and pulled it down enough to expose the top of my breasts.

“What are you doing—” I shrieked and slapped her hand, trying to pull the zipper back up, but with a surprising force, Irene gripped my wrist and gave me a look.

“We are going clubbing, not to a grandmother convention.”

“This dress already is enough for clubbing! Why pull the zipper, Irene—”

“Silence!” She raised her hand, giving me a look when I opened my mouth to speak, “I won’t go if you don’t leave the zipper the way I did it!”

“You’re so mean.” I muttered with a pout and walked to my bed, picking up the red lipstick that I left there. I went back to the mirror and applied it on my lips, a grin appearing on them unintentionally. I looked really hot, cat-eyeliner looking amazing with this shade of lipstick. The more I looked at the dress too, the more I started to like it, but I would never let Irene know, I don’t want to see her shit-eating grin.

“Now…” I heard her mutter and when I turned around, she was bent down looking for something, “Where do you keep those leather heels you told me about…”

And then it clicked and my mouth fell open, “You!”

Irene glanced at me but continued looking wordlessly, the heels were resting by the wardrobe, “That’s why you picked this dress! Because I told you about my heels! I should have stayed silent—”

“Oh, quit whining!” Irene snapped, a victorious smirk on her lips as she held the heels in her hands and threw them in my direction, “Put them on, five minutes are almost up!”

I grumbled to myself as I pulled on the leather heels, coming mid-thigh, just below where the dress ended. The heels were sharp and tall, elongating my legs even more.

Irene squealed and threw me a mischievous smirk, “Everyone will want to fuck you tonight—”

“Irene!” I screamed, slapping her arm and making her hiss, “Stop saying stuff like that!”

I turned around, embarrassed, to grab my purse from the bed, ignoring the thoughts of Mingyu suddenly invading my mind. How will he react seeing me dressed like this? Meanwhile the red silk dress from the auction was definitely the look, this one is even better. This look, is my kind of look. It really brings out my best features and I feel really hot right now, I hope Mingyu will think the same. But not to the extent to ruin our secret…wait, who said Mingyu was even coming? No one, but by Jeonghan’s subtle words, I assumed Mingyu would show up too. After all, I can not imagine Mingyu not being there when his girlfriend is about to parade around a place infested with males. I just hope he doesn’t kill anyone who dares looking my way.

After turning off the music and shutting off the lights, Irene grabbed her bag, and we headed out of my bedroom. Vernon and Seungcheol were still in the living room, now having quieted down, speaking in hushed tones. I motioned for Irene that I will inform them that we are done and that we can leave. I walked carefully to create less sound, curious of why they were suddenly whispering.

“I’m not keen of mingling with the police.” Seungcheol’s voice was deep and low, as I peeked around the corner.

“That auction made us too susceptible, Mingyu knows what’s he doing—”

“Mingyu doesn’t know shit!” Seungcheol snapped harshly and Vernon sighed.

“I know you are his second-in-hand, but S.Coups, we wouldn’t be here if Mingyu didn’t pull all that shit years back—”

CHOI SEUNGCHEOL IS MINGYU’S SECOND-IN-HAND?!

“Don’t you see he stopped listening to me?”

“It’s not like that—”

“Vernon, ever since he met Y/N, he’s…just changed. He does things carelessly; he fucked up two raids, for fuck’s sake, two! And now mingles with the police? Take orders from Wonwoo—fucking Jeon Wonwoo; Vernon! I’m sick of it all, I just want to—”

“What are you doing—” I yelped when Irene showed up next to me making me stumble a bit forward. Vernon and Seungcheol turned abruptly, heads shooting in our direction. My eyes widened and I shook my head at Irene, asking her to stay quiet. They definitely realized I was eavesdropping and I’m sure I wasn’t supposed to hear any of that. Seungcheol is Mingyu’s second-in-hand? What’s so wrong about taking orders from Wonwoo? Why did Mingyu change after meeting me? And why is a mafia leader getting involved with the police, isn’t that pure suicide? My head became dizzy from all the wondering and I cleared my throat when I realized all eyes were on me.

“What? Oh yeah, we are done.” I offered a small smile to Vernon and Seungcheol. Both men nodded, but remained staring at Irene and I, “Uh…what?”

Vernon giggled but Seungcheol’s eyebrows furrowed more, “Go back to your room and change out of that—”

“Are you her father, Seungcheol?” Irene snapped, glaring at Seungcheol, “Shut up and come on!”

“You look awesome, both of you!” Vernon exclaimed as he passed by us to put on his shoes. Seungcheol ignored Irene and walked up to me, eyebrows still furrowed.

“I have nothing else to wear.” I said with a shrug and Seungcheol scoffed.

“Do you want me to go through your wardrobe real quick?” He raised his eyebrows and Irene scoffed, hooking her arm with mine.

“Sorry, we’ve got no time for that,” She flashed him a fake grin and pulled me out into the hallway, where Vernon was typing on his phone, “Jesus, you never told me Seungcheol was so protective.”

“Why do you think I chose him to be my best friend?” I asked with a chuckle and Cheol scoffed from behind me.

“Obviously not with the intent of also listening to me when I want to do something good for you.”

“Oh, come on, Cheol,” I pouted and let go of Irene to grip onto my best friend’s arm, “I always listen to you, and if I don’t, I always take those words as advice.”

“Advice that kills you?” He raised his eyebrows and I threw him a glare as I let go of him.

“I’m not talking about Mingyu, again.” Vernon and Irene’s heads turned toward us in curiosity.

“He’ll be there tonight though.” Vernon raised an eyebrow and I threw him a questioning look before patting Seungcheol’s cheek.

“I love you, but shut up, Cheol.” He scoffed but a small smile slipped onto his lips.

“I love you too—”

“Good!” Irene chimed in, opening the front door, “Now that we are done with our early evening confessions, can we go?”

“We really should, Seungkwan texted me, they are already on their way there.” Vernon said as we all left my apartment and I locked the door, holding Seungcheol’s hand as we headed for the elevator. He gave it a reassuring squeeze and I grinned at him, pulling the leather jacket tighter around me. The weather wasn’t exactly fit for leather wear.

I had no idea the whole SVT gang was coming to this underground party, so when four different flashy cars showed up in the parking lot, I was pretty surprised. Surprisingly, we arrived earlier as they got caught it traffic and we were waiting for the rest of the men inside Vernon’s car. It was cold outside and Irene and I weren’t dressed exactly appropriate for this weather, we didn’t want to catch a cold. Vernon got a text saying everyone was here, so we finally exited the warm car. Seungcheol was by my side instantly and I rolled my eyes when he intertwined his fingers with mine and threw a menacing glance to a guy passing by, who happened to look in our direction.

“Honestly, you have to stop doing that…” I trailed off with a look, making Seungcheol scoff.

“Right, I’m not gonna let guys ogle you the whole night—”

“I don’t think that’s how this works, Cheol.” I said with a laugh as we approached Mingyu’s Mercedes. Wonwoo was leaning against the car and Jihoon was by his side, talking about something.

“Seungcheol, Y/N!” Wonwoo exclaimed when he saw us and I offered him a small wave.

“Hi.” Jihoon gave us a nod and the three men did a handshake as I stood to the side. I looked around, searching for Mingyu, but I couldn’t see his tall frame anywhere. Irene was by Jeonghan’s side, giggling, and Vernon was leaning against his car, smoking a cigarette. I gave him a frown and he chuckled, making Seungkwan turn around with a frown. When his eyes fell on me, he gave me a glare and faced Vernon with a pout, making him burst out in laughter. I chuckled and turned back around, facing Mingyu’s car, eyes falling on the opened back door. Wonwoo held it with his hand as he typed away on his phone with his other; a leg was placed outside. My heart picked up and I looked at Seungcheol nervously, but he was busy muttering with Jihoon. Then, a hand gripped the edge of the door and out came Mingyu. Our eyes fell on each other and Mingyu’s jaw instantly clenched, making my heart beat faster. He wore leather pants, which hugged his long legs in all the perfect ways giving me a good view of his strong thighs; and he wore his leather jacket to match with his pants. I bit my lower lip, eyes running up and down his body, itching to go over and hug him tightly, to feel his body against mine. His curly hair was pushed back and the choker poking out from underneath his jacket made me gulp. Suddenly, Wonwoo cleared his throat, gaining my attention.

“You definitely didn’t miss the opportunity to dress up.” He said with a chuckle, glancing at Seungcheol, who happened to scoff.

“I’m never letting Irene dress her again.” He grumbled and I huffed, Jihoon started laughing loudly.

“Why not?” Jihoon asked once he calmed down, “She looks hot.”

I gulped and looked away from him flustered, watching Wonwoo grow amused as Mingyu slammed the door shut. I looked at him and he was glaring at an oblivious Jihoon.

“Irene picked your dress?” Mingyu finally spoke, eyes gazing at me intensely. I gave him a look before intertwining my fingers with Seungcheol’s again.

“Let’s go before he pisses me off.” I snapped and dragged Cheol with me, joining the other men that decided to enter the club. I felt Mingyu’s burning gaze on the back of my head and I had to bite the inside of my cheeks to stop myself from joining his side. I desperately wanted to touch him, but I knew I couldn’t when everyone would see us. To them, I still hated Mingyu, and Mingyu was still chasing me without any successful results. It sucked having a secret relationship, but I wasn’t ready to let everyone know. When we joined the line to enter the club, Seungcheol let go of my hand to go join Joshua at the front. Irene was waiting at the back for me, pouting when I joined her.

“Where’s your prince, huh?” I teased her and she nodded to where Seungcheol was.

“He got whisked away by that Joshua guy, I think…”

“Yeah, that’s Joshua.” I said with a chuckle and Irene crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“Well, I hope he’ll stop bothering Jeonghan for the rest of the night—” Irene muttered and quickly smiled when Jeonghan glanced back at her. I rolled my eyes and watched Jeonghan beacon her over.

“Okay, that’s my sign.” She said with a smirk and pushed her way to the front where Jeonghan was. I huffed and remained standing alone at the back of the line, searching for Vernon to go and join him. When my eyes fell on him and I was about to walk over, a big hand gave my ass a hard squeeze and I hissed, whirling around, ready to punch the person, but it was Mingyu. My anger faltered quickly, until I remembered anyone could see us.

“What are you doing!” I snapped and glanced around, but no one from SVT was paying attention to us.

“You’re wearing all leather?” Mingyu muttered, eyes running over my body once again, and I felt my cheeks heat up.

“Yeah…” I muttered and didn’t step back when he closed the distance between us.

“Well fuck me,” He chuckled and pressed a hard kiss against my lips, making me whine, “Is this your way of getting revenge that I left that night?”

I rolled my eyes and raised my hand to wipe the red lipstick off his lower lip, “Don’t flatter yourself so much, Mingyu, if I really broke up with you that night, I wouldn’t be here.”

“You still think you can avoid me or ignore me?”

“So, what you are saying is that you’ll bother me for the rest of my life even if I end things with you?”

“You can’t end things with me, sugar,” His lips pulled up into a malicious smirk, “only death can do us apart.”

“Jesus,” I scoffed and stepped away, turning around to walk further inside the club, “I think this is the red-flag I’ve been waiting for.”

Mingyu’s smirk widened more and I threw him a glare as we reached the entrance. I went to take the money I placed in my pocket for the entrance fee, but Mingyu pulled out his wallet and threw a card at the guy selling the tickets. His eyes widened and he handed us two bracelets with a bow of his head, refusing to take my money when I tried to hand it to him confused.

“What was that?” I asked confused as we stepped inside the club, the music not quite loud as the party barely started and there weren’t many people around yet.

“Oh, that?” Mingyu asked cockily and I glared at him as I handed him the bracelet to put it on for me, “Nothing, just exerting my power onto others, of course.”

I huffed and smiled at him mockingly, “Don’t tell me literally everyone knows who the fuck you are.”

Mingyu raised his eyebrows and looked at me seriously, waiting for my reaction. When I realized he wouldn’t say anything else, realization dawned on me and my mouth fell open. He smirked again and I glared at him, ready to burst his cocky bubble.

“Well, to your information, if you showed me whatever the fuck you showed the guy, I still would have asked for money, because six months ago I had no fucking idea who you were, so…don’t flatter yourself so much, Kim Mingyu.”

“No, sugar,” He stepped closer, eyes fixating on mine, “That’s just who you are. Even if you knew me, you’d still not let me pass without paying—”

“You’re damn right…” I scoffed and crossed my arms in front of my chest, “You with your God-complex, Jesus…”

Mingyu burst out laughing and ran a hand through his hair, pushing it back again, my eyes following the movement. I wanted to run my hands through his hair too, but tonight I couldn’t.

“Y/N!” I sighed quietly as Seungcheol appeared at my side, watching me confused, “Why did you disappear?”

“Why did you leave me alone?” I fired back and he rolled his eyes, gripping my arms firmly.

“Joshua had something to say, you could have just walked with me—”

“Yeah, maybe if you told me!” I shrugged and Seungcheol threw me a small glare before turning towards Mingyu.

“And what do you want?” He snapped, raising his eyebrows.

“Ah, me?” Mingyu chuckled and raised his arms in the air as if he was surrendering, “Absolutely nothing…from you.”

Seungcheol’s glare returned as he started pulling me away from Mingyu and I giggled quietly, glancing back to see him following us.

“We booked a booth; you can leave your stuff there.” Seungcheol spoke as he led the way to the booth section, a sign saying only those could sit there who had booked one previously. I nodded wordlessly and noticed how Seungcheol abandoned his coat. He was wearing a sleeveless black tank-top with a high neck, it was tucked inside his high-waisted cream-colored loose trousers. And he comments about how I dressed, when he looks this hot.

We reached the booth and I scoffed as Seungcheol faced me, “Look at you scold me when you look like that!”

Seungcheol looked down at himself with a confused looked, Mingyu stopped next to me and took a quick lookover of the older male standing in front of us.

“I look…normal?” Seungcheol said finally confused, looking back at me.

“You look hot!” I exclaimed and people passing by glanced at me amused, Mingyu scoffed next to me. Seungcheol bit his lower lip piercing, trying to stop the smile from spreading onto his lips.

“Like…really fucking hot…” I emphasized it more and Mingyu scoffed louder, suddenly throwing his leather jacket off. Seungcheol and I looked at him questioningly but he ignored us and brushed past me, raising his chin high.

“What’s his problem.” Seungcheol muttered amused and I laughed, shrugging my shoulders.

“Maybe he’s jealous—”

“Please,” Seungcheol gave me a look, “Jealous of what? It’s not like you offered him sweet attention for the past six months—actually, I feel like you’ve gotten nicer to him since the auction.”

“I have?” I mused surprised, unzipping my leather jacket, “I don’t think I have; you’re just imagining it.”

“Am I?” Seungcheol raised his eyebrows and I stared down at him, I was taller in my heels, as I took off the jacket.

“Will you seriously ruin my night by mentioning Mingyu every five seconds?” I raised my eyebrows at my best friend and he shook his head, taking my jacket.

“No, no…” He approached the booth and called out for Soonyoung to take them and hand the jackets behind him on the wall, “Wanna take some shots now or when the party starts?”

“Now—”

“Y/N!” Two different hands grabbed my arms on each side and I jumped, looking at Seokmin then at Chan.

“Hi, guys,” I giggled and Chan offered me a small wave.

“Did I just hear shots?” Seokmin asked with a wicked grin and I nodded my head slowly, glancing at Seungcheol, who didn’t look very amused.

“Want to join us?”

“Hell yeah!” Seokmin exclaimed excited and I laughed, wriggling an arm free to wave over Irene and Vernon.

“Irene! Vernon!” I called loudly, catching their attention, “We are getting shots!”

Irene was instantly on her feet, Jeonghan forgotten, as she basically ran up to us and Vernon quickly stood by Seungcheol’s side to join us.

“Okay, let’s go then…” I grinned and Seokmin gripped my arm again as him and Chan started pulling me towards the bar eagerly, making me giggle quietly. It was a bit hard to keep up with their eager pace in these heels, but I stayed quiet as the booth wasn’t very far from the bar. Irene, however, was basically running in her heels and she got to the bar first, already speaking fast to order.

“Someone is eager tonight…” Vernon muttered as we got to her side, he leaned against the bar.

“Eager to choke on some dick, you mean—” Seokmin and Vernon burst out laughing as I gave my best friend a nasty glare. Chan muttered something underneath his breath as he gave Seungcheol the stink eye too, letting go of my arm.

“At least I’m getting some dick tonight, Seungcheol, unlike you—” Irene smirked sweetly at Cheol, “Who will be playing police and hunting down every guy that dares to come close to Y/N, am I right Y/N?”

“Sounds pretty right.” I nodded with a hum and Seungcheol scoffed, turning around and grabbing a shot glass.

“Shut up and drink.” He snapped and we all laughed, stepping forward to grab a glass each. Seokmin still held onto my arm and I didn’t question him. We clanked our glasses together and emptied the glass, throats burning from the strong liquid. Suddenly, another round was placed on the table and we all looked at Irene.

“What? I told them I’m here with Kim Mingyu and apparently everything is on the house—so, I ordered five rounds!” She said excitedly, another glass in her hand already.

“Five rounds?” Chan exclaimed, grimacing as he hesitantly grabbed another glass.

“Dude,” Vernon grinned as he watched Chan amused, “You are so getting shit faced tonight!”

“You’re telling me?” Chan whined as we all grabbed our second rounds, “I didn’t eat anything before coming here.”

“Me neither.” Seungcheol groaned out after we downed our second shots. I shuddered as the liquid traveled down to my stomach, burning my body from the inside.

“What’s with Mingyu though,” Irene spoke up as our third round got filled, “Everyone looked scared shitless when I mentioned him—”

“We are regulars here.” Vernon quickly answered her, before anyone else could, “He gets in fights sometimes, and uh, he’s a big guy, you know—people don’t exactly—vibe with him always, you know?”

“Ah,” Irene pouted and handed me my third round of shot, “That makes sense.”

“It totally does.” Seokmin said with a very serious expression, making Irene give him a questioning look.

“Who are you again?” She asked as we raised our glasses and downed the shots, “I forgot your name.”

Chan laughed next to me and Seokmin glared at him as my body shuddered again from the foul taste.

“Seokmin.” The bright boy said sulkily next to me and I offered him a small smile.

“I don’t think five shots are smart, because I’m starting to get dizzy—”

“This is a bad idea,” Seungcheol agreed with me, but his fourth round was in his hand already, “But I mean…we’ve only got two rounds…”

“Fair point…” I muttered as we downed this and then the next one, groaning at the burning in our body. I ordered some Sprite to wash down the foul taste but it only helped partially. Seungcheol walked to my side and threw his arm over my shoulders, grinning at me. I chuckled and glanced at Seokmin questioningly as he held my arm still.

“Oh, this?” He grimaced and only gripped harder, “I stop feeling my legs when I drink alcohol, I really need to hold onto someone.”

“Wouldn’t it be smarter to hold onto Vernon, Chan or Seungcheol?” I raised my eyebrows as Chan approached Seokmin on his other side, “They are more powerful, you know…”

“But your skin is really soft…” Seokmin muttered to himself and Irene’s laughter was loud as Seungcheol glared at the man.

“Take him away.” He instructed Chan and the younger boy did as told, dragging away a pouting Seokmin. I laughed and pulled Vernon into my side, gazing out onto the dance floor. The club was finally getting filled, music turned up to a louder volume now, bass reverberating off the walls and making our chests feel like they thumped together.

“I hope you both dance with me!” I looked at my two friends with raised eyebrows and accusing eyes. Vernon grinned and Seungcheol sighed, giving me a look.

“Of course, we’ll dance with you, Y/N!” Vernon pushed off the bar and pulled us onto the dance floor, “Why did we even come clubbing for if not to dance?”

“Definitely not for a one-night stand!” Irene flashed Seungcheol sweet eyes as she brushed past us, headed for the booth to probably coerce Jeonghan on the dance floor as well. Vernon and I laughed as Seungcheol glared after Irene, arm leaving me. Vernon turned me around, hugged me into himself, and started shaking us around. I burst out laughing as I tried to wriggle out of his grip, but he became more chaotic, totally ignoring the beat of the music.

“Stop!” I laughed as Seungcheol watched us with a glare, “I just had five shots, do you want me throw up on you?”

“Are you drunk already?” Vernon exclaimed alarmed and stepped back.

“No, but anyone would throw up if someone shook them around like that!” Seungcheol answered for me and I nodded with a shrug, Cheol wasn’t wrong. Vernon pouted and pretended to walk away from us, making Seungcheol and I roll our eyes as we intertwined our hands and stared moving to the upbeat song. Seungcheol started jumping around and I shook my head, as I watched Seungkwan surprised as he joined us. He threw me a small glare before facing Vernon and they moved around goofily, making me smile. The brotherhood these boys had was anything unlike I’ve seen before. In the six months I spent with them, I realized they were a big family before they were just a gang formed of thirteen members. They loved each other genuinely and supported each other when in need. Distracted by watching Vernon and Seungkwan, I almost failed to notice Seungcheol sneakily trying to grab the zipper of my dress.

“Are you trying to touch my boobs, Choi Seungcheol?!” I called out loudly, staring at him with my eyebrows raised. Seungcheol’s face drained of color and he shook his head violently, his grip leaving my hand, as he went to even shake his hands.

“No, no, no!” He exclaimed, panicked, “That zipper could be pulled higher, your boobs are kind of—”

“Spilling out?” Seungkwan intertwined, giving me a side glance, “That’s the charm of the dress, Seungcheol, let the woman have fun, Jesus…”

A big grin spread on my lips as I looked at Seungkwan, he had a scowl on his face but it wasn’t directed at me this time, and I felt grateful. He never really liked me, even though Vernon said he’d come around, Seungkwan never really did like Jihoon, Joshua and Minghao did. All three warmed up to me after I spent a little time with them, but Seungkwan was hellbent on always making fun of me and criticizing me. I didn’t understand why, but I convinced myself that was how Seungkwan just was. He showed his love like that, or at least I fed myself that lie to feel less worse whenever we met. His eyes fell on me and he threw me a small glare and I knew the little affection he showed towards me was gone and never spoken again of, so I stuck my tongue out at him and turned back to Seungcheol to shake my ass at him, knowing it’d piss him off. And it did, when I faced him, he was glaring at me and his arms were crossed in front of his chest.

“Five more rounds to make Seungcheol less tense and to get him to leave you alone?!” Vernon asked as he watched all three of us, eyes lighting up with mischief. I laughed and shook my head as Seungkwan took the offer.

“I’m good for now! Maybe later, but Seungcheol—” I threw my best friend a knowing smirk and he sighed, motioning for Vernon and Seungkwan to follow him to the bar. He loved drinking, especially if it was free, and so I knew he’d get drunk and I’d have to sleep over at his to make sure he didn’t get sick during the night.

Being left alone on the dance floor, I moved around to the beat subtly, turning to try and find our booth from here. Most guys have already dispersed around the club, only around four people remained in the booth, and when I saw Mingyu sitting there alone, I decided to approach him. I walked around people, pushed a few away, to be able to get out from the dance floor and the first thing I noticed were Jeonghan and Irene sitting at the edge of the booth, leaning over each other as they were talking about something.

“Y/N!” Irene exclaimed when I stopped next to them and Jeonghan gave me a smirk as a greeting, “I was looking for you!”

“You were?” I raised my eyebrows and Jeonghan chuckled, raising to his feet, “Didn’t seem like it to me!”

“She was!” Jeonghan said as he exited the booth, offering his hand for Irene, “Care to join us on the dance floor?”

“Go ahead, I’ll be there in a few seconds!” Irene offered me a wide smile, disappearing with Jeonghan onto the dance floor. My eyes fell on Wonwoo and Mingyu, the only people sitting in the booth. Wonwoo was on his phone, sitting to the side, meanwhile Mingyu sat in the back, in the middle of the long sofa, legs spread wide and arms resting on the back of the sofa. He wore a white sleeveless shirt with green vine-like prints on it, and his choker was white as it sat around his neck tightly. I took in his form and gulped down the excess saliva, resting my arms on the table and leaning forward. Mingyu’s eyes instantly left my face and rested on my chest, jaw clenching, before he slowly dragged his eyes back up. We made eye contact and he licked his lips, hands clenching into fists. It seemed like I wasn’t the only one struggling at trying to stay away from him tonight, but I sure as hell was doing a better job at not showing it.

“Do you plan on sitting there all night?!” I asked loudly, Wonwoo snapped his head up at my voice alerted, “Just sit and watch?!”

Mingyu licked his lips again as his eyes fell back onto my breasts and he nodded, “I like the view from here!”

“You sure do,” I rolled my eyes, and stood up straight, “but I’m feeling lonely.”

“Someone is being careless tonight!” Mingyu’s lips spread in a smirk and I returned it.

“Who says I’m inviting you to dance with me? I’m asking you to join us!”

“Yeah, I’ll pass on that offer, sugar.” I huffed and my eyes landed on Wonwoo, who’s phone was placed away now.

“And you?” I raised my eyebrows at him, “Will you stay here all night next to Mingyu like a guard-dog?”

Wonwoo’s lips pulled up into an amused smile and he glanced at Mingyu, getting to his feet and adjusting his pants before he spoke up, “Of course not, I was just waiting for a hot chick to invite me to dance!”

“Wonwoo.” Mingyu’s growl was low, yet we both caught it and both Wonwoo and I burst out laughing as he exited the booth.

“Yeah, sorry, Mingyu, but I came here to have fun so…suit yourself!” Wonwoo winked at his friend and I took his extended hand, turning my back to Mingyu; I made sure to sway my hips more than I usually would do as Wonwoo led the way to the dance floor.

Time passed but the night was still young and I haven’t stopped dancing even for a second. I took three trips to the bar already, only doing three round shots this time, not exactly wanting to get drunk by the end of the party. I knew how to hold my liquor, I also knew when was the time for me to stop and right now I was right there, so instead of downing another round of shots like Irene and the guys were doing next to me, I instead drank from the Sprite I ordered. Soonyoung and Seokmin cheered loudly as they slammed their glasses against the bar, high-fiving each other for finishing the shots first and then they turned around and headed back to the dance floor. I laughed at them and turned towards Minghao when I felt him nudge me. He had a sour look on his face, eyebrows furrowed, and I offered him my Sprite to wash away the sour taste of his non-alcoholic drink with. He took it with a grateful nod and I looked towards Irene amused when she started cheering loudly. Her and Jeonghan have been drinking the whole time we’ve been here for, competing to see which one would get drunk first, and right now, both already were.

“That was my last shot of the night!” Jeonghan slurred, almost knocking over three other glasses as he slammed his down.

“You give up?!” Irene shouted with a grin.

“Unless you want to put me in a coma?!” I laughed at Jeonghan’s words and took the bottle of Sprite back from Minghao.

“I won then,” A smirk spread on Irene’s lips and she stepped closer to Jeonghan, holding his chin, “where’s my prize?”

“Right in front of your eyes.” Jeonghan smirked before his lips were on Irene’s and both Minghao and I turned away with a grimace on our faces.

“That was enough action for me tonight, I’m retreating!” He called with a tired voice, taking my Sprite bottle, “I’m stealing this, I hope you don’t mind!”

“I don’t, drive home safely!” I patted his shoulder; Minghao didn’t drink alcohol tonight; and Minghao gave me a small nod of goodbye.

“Take care of your drunk friend!” I nodded as he disappeared into the crowd of people. Seeing Jeonghan and Irene still making out, I sighed, and headed back onto the dance floor, eyes falling onto the booth to find Mingyu gone. He, himself, took a few trips to the bar during our time here, but I always kept my eyes on him and so did he with me. Not seeing him didn’t alert me very much, but I continued to look for him to make sure he was fine. He was a powerful and dangerous man after all, many people wanted to see him dead. Not seeing him at the bar and booth, I figured he’d gone to the restroom, so I ventured inside the dancing crowd but my eyes narrowed when it fell on Mingyu. Two females with short skirts, shorter than mine, clung onto his exposed arms and giggled at something Mingyu was saying. He was grinning down at them wickedly and my jaw clenched as I watched the suggestive way they continued gazing at him. I knew he was just doing his façade as the two of us basically weren’t a couple that others knew about, but as I turned down multiple men trying to hit on me, I expected the same behavior from him. Without thinking twice, the alcohol fueled my anger even more, I headed in their direction eyes set on them like a hawk. As the long, black haired girl raised her hand to place it against Mingyu’s chest, I caught it in a vice like grip. I didn’t even care anymore if someone from SVT saw me, I wanted their hands off my boyfriend.

“Having fun?” I shouted over the music, raising my eyebrows at the three people in front of me. The girl struggled to pull her hand away, but I squeezed it harder.

“What the fuck is your problem?!” The other one, who I wasn’t holding, took a demanding stance and laughter bubbled up from my lungs.

“Your hands on my boyfriend!” I stared the woman down with a death stare and when her lips pulled into a smirk, I thought I’d break the wrist of the woman I was holding. She yelped loudly and I released her arm, realizing I was hurting her, and she instantly stepped away from Mingyu.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know—”

“Who the fuck cares, Dahyun!” The other one still clinging to Mingyu provoked, “He never said he has a girlfriend!”

I was sure even my face got red and when I stepped forward, right hand curled into a fist, Mingyu stepped away from the woman and glared at her.

“Fuck off, both of you.” He snapped aggressively and both women scrambled away, not without the black haired one shooting daggers at me. I felt like I was breathing out fire as I watched them until they got sucked into the crowd, I didn’t even feel Mingyu approaching me. My eyes snapped at him when I felt firm hands gripping my hips tightly, trying to gain my attention.

“Calm down, sugar,” Mingyu’s voice remained soothing as he shouted over the music, “I wouldn’t have let them do anything! It would’ve been suspicious if I stayed in the booth all night watching you—”

“You let them touch you!” I snapped, still angrier than I normally would be, of course, due to the alcohol in my system, “I will break their fingers and yours too!”

Mingyu had the audacity to laugh in my face and squeeze my hips, pulling me closer to his body, his honey-like cologne invading my nostrils. My skin tingled and my heartbeat quickened, I wanted to touch him and feel him against me, kiss him. So, I leaned closer to him, lips almost on his, when he pulled away.

“Not here.” His voice was low but I heard it crystal clear, his eyes darkened as he watched my eyebrows furrow as I placed my hands on top of his.

“I can’t do this anymore!” I whined and desperately clung to his hands, “I want to feel you!”

Mingyu’s jaw clenched and he turned one of his hands, letting go of my hip, to intertwine our fingers, “Soon, okay?! We’ll make it look normal, pretend to go the restroom or something—but be patient!”

I sighed and nodded my head, eyes on his lips as I watched him talk, imagining the softness and the smokey taste they always carried around. Before I could answer him back verbally too, someone else grabbed my shoulder and I was ready to create a scene thinking it was Seungcheol, but when I looked to my right, it was actually Junhui. He had a smirk on his face and I watched him confused as he pushed me a bit forward.

“Come on, let’s go dance with Seungcheol!” He shouted over the music, not even sparing a glance at Mingyu, clearly uninterested in with whom I was. Mingyu’s grip turned dangerously tight and I hissed, squirming out of his grip due to the pain. I didn’t want to go with Jun, I wanted to stay with Mingyu, but I knew Jun would snitch to Seungcheol if I stayed here, so I shot my boyfriend an apologetic smile and let Jun lead me away and towards Seungcheol, Vernon, Irene, Jeonghan, and Seungkwan. Everyone was pretty tipsy, besides Irene and Jeonghan who were really drunk. They greeted us with grins when Jun and I stopped next to them and I waved at Seungcheol, who didn’t seem very happy that I arrived with Junhui. I was about to stand next to Seungcheol as Jun was still holding me and I wasn’t very comfortable with it, when I felt his hands shift to my waist and move me from behind. My brain went blank when I realized he was trying to dance with me and I didn’t know how to react, so I let him lead my hips to his own rhythm. I was feeling uncomfortable but I played it off, trying to put even a tiny little bit of distance between our bodies, but Jun held me tightly against him. I made eye contact with Seungcheol and he was glaring hard at Junhui as he started moving towards us, clearly seeing how uncomfortable I was feeling. I shuddered when Jun rested his chin on my exposed shoulder, his breath hitting my skin, and I decided that it was time I helped myself get away. I gripped his hands and tried to pry them off, shooting Seungcheol a look when he was about to raise his fist, as if to punch Jun.

“Hey! Let go—” He started shouting, but suddenly, Junhui’s body was gone and I turned around stunned. Seungcheol watched amazed as Mingyu held Jun back by the collar of his white shirt, with a gaze that could make you drop dead on the spot. He raised his forefinger at Jun as he started saying something to him, mouth moving fast. Seungcheol placed a hand on my shoulder and I offered him a small smile, watching Mingyu, scared he’d punch Jun or something and cause a scene that would attract more eyes than the ones already on us. Jun’s jaw was clenched as he glared back at Mingyu, but he just nodded twice when Mingyu finished speaking and stepped away from him, turning his back and walking off. Mingyu remained still for a few seconds before he turned around, eyes locked with mine, and then the next second I was pulled into his big body. Seungcheol’s arm disappeared from my shoulder and I didn’t feel it try to pull me away, as Mingyu’s hands held me against him tightly. I sighed and circled my arms around his neck, clinging onto him like I wanted to all night. The heels made me even taller than I usually was and I could feel his hot breath hitting my ear, making the hairs stand on my arms. One of his hands gripped my nape as the other rested on my ass, I didn’t even care who saw us and what they thought, I just wanted to be close to my boyfriend. Mingyu started swaying us to the rhythm and an excited grin appeared on my lips as we were finally doing what I wished for us to do all night. I could have been imagining it, but I thought I could feel the rapid beat of his heart as I pressed a kiss just below his ear, giggling at the way his hands squeezed me in warning, asking me to stop. I knew I had to stop, otherwise, we’d really blow our cover. If I was struggling this much at trying to ignore him all night, I couldn’t imagine what Mingyu was feeling having to see me dressed so revealing without being able to feel me. I pushed all worries to the back of my mind, all the explanations I’d have to come up with to the ones that saw what happened, and enjoyed the present moment of doing what I wanted all night. Moving with Mingyu, against him, and running my hands all over his body with the occasional swift kisses pressed against his skin, my night was complete.

Seungcheol was finally free after the party and we could sit down to study together. He had a lot of catching up to do, so we didn’t talk much, only asked each other if we needed help understanding something. I was secretly really happy that Seungcheol was too busy studying to even think about anything else, because I knew he wasn’t drunk enough last time to have trouble remembering events from the club. I knew it was eating him alive that he let Mingyu dance with me, as if that was some horrible thing, and I realized it this morning when Cheol showed up at my door with a big ass homecooked breakfast. He wasn’t someone who enjoyed staying in the kitchen, probably why he would always eat my leftover food, but when something really bothered him it was his way of unwinding. A weird habit, but it helped him clear his mind for a bit. And so now I was just waiting for him to bring it up, even though I really didn’t want to talk about it, but it was inevitable. We had placed two mugs of coffee on my coffee table in the living room and while I rested on the sofa with a notebook in my lap, Seungcheol was strolling around in my living room as he mumbled to himself whatever was written in his notebook. The atmosphere was chill and pleasant, like it usually was when we were studying, until, of course, Seungcheol opened his mouth and stressed me out with one single question.

“Why were you clinging to Mingyu last night?” I thought if I didn’t react to the question, he’d assume I didn’t hear it and would drop it, but when I felt my best friend’s burning gaze on me, I realized he wouldn’t let this topic slide at all. Seungcheol was angry and confused and wanted answers.

“Uhm,” I shrugged, glancing up at him with my heart thumping quickly, “I guess the alcohol messed with me. I get clingy, I think…you know that though.”

Seungcheol gave me a look and I looked away, attempting to continue studying, “You are not clingy, ever.”

“Why does it matter though?” I snapped, glancing at Seungcheol. He seemed outraged by my question as he threw me a glare.

“Why does it matter?” He scoffed and I stared at him with my lips in a straight line, “Because it’s Kim Mingyu! He will fuck your whole life up, Y/N, if you get involved with him. Please, listen to me, I’ve known him for a long time, okay? He’s not the person who he pretends to be, he just wants to—”

Seungcheol cut himself off and I raised my eyebrows, feeling a bit attacked, “Wants to fuck me? Then dump me and never speak to me again? Maybe taunt me a little bit, play with me for a short time then break my heart because he’s an awful person?”

Seungcheol gulped and nodded his head once, looking back down at his notebook, “Well…I know.”

The words didn’t feel right and I didn’t believe what I said. Maybe at the beginning, when I met him, I believed that, but not anymore. Not ever since we’ve spent so much time together and he let me see his vulnerable side. He didn’t share very much, but I figured he was being cautious, and he just probably wasn’t ready yet to lay his whole life out for me.

“If you know, stop associating yourself with him!” Seungcheol snapped and looked at me frustrated, “Every single time when he comes to you with a suicidal proposal, you accept it! It’s like you can’t wait until he shows up with something crazy! Do you understand what we do is dangerous? That you keep getting involved in things you shouldn’t? We can’t protect you always, I won’t be with you always.”

I grew annoyed at Seungcheol’s words and I placed my notebook aside, crossing my arms in front of my chest, “You do realize this applies to you as well? For five years, Seungcheol, I had no idea you were a gang leader’s or whatever’s second-in-hand. You were the first one to expose me, idiot, and now you keep blaming everything on Mingyu! Why is it always about him? Why is it never about you? Why will you not admit it, Cheol?”

My best friend gulped and he looked down, a guilty look crossing his features before he looked back at me, “Because you are my sister. I come form a shitty family, you know, I struggled my whole life with money because my parents couldn’t deal with them. I still have to help them, if it wasn’t for me, they’d be living on the streets right now. And SVT—I had to do many dirty things to become Mingyu’s second-in-hand, things that would horrify you—I’m—a horrible person and you make me feel a little less horrible. Like I have a normal life, like I’m just a simple university student, like I’m just Choi Seungcheol.”

I bit my lower lip, anger dissipating a little bit, as Seungcheol looked back at me teary eyed, “I know I’m selfish, okay? And I know I can be a lot to deal with sometimes but I just—really love you, okay? And I’m really scared of losing you, that’s why I hate you being involved with SVT and not just me. While it was just me, it wasn’t that dangerous, but now everyone—”

He sighed and my eyebrows furrowed, I watched Seungcheol expectantly and he just shook his head, “Now everyone knows you are Mingyu’s and that if they touch you, they are dead. But that also implies if they touch you, Mingyu is destroyed. And Mingyu has pissed of many people who’d like to get back at him and now—he offered them a perfect bait.”

I gulped as Seungcheol approached me, “I know Cheol, I was kidnapped within the first week of meeting him. And I think about it more often than you’d think…how easily I could disappear one day and end up dead without being able to say goodbye to…the people I love. But I chose to trust you, SVT, and Mingyu. Have a little faith in him, will you?”

Seungcheol grimaced as he plopped down next to me, cuddling up into my side, “When you kissed him at the auction, I thought I’d shoot his brains out.”

“You what?” I exclaimed, glaring down at my best friend. Just the thought of Mingyu getting harmed could send me into a panicked frenzy and when it was coming from Cheol, it made me even more upset. I would never forgive him if he harmed Mingyu.

“He planned it all, Y/N, did you never think of that?” Seungcheol’s eyes connected with mine and I looked at him confused, “He’s an amazing manipulator, Y/N. Whatever he said that made you kiss him, he planned it, he wanted that to happen. The people who were there wanted to ambush Mingyu that night and kill him, but he brought you along and changed their plans. Not because they care if an innocent life dies, no, because Mingyu changed routes. They didn’t know where the two of you would go after the auction and they couldn’t proceed with their plan. It was all a lead on, that’s why I was so damn angry and wanted you to stay out of it. Because I was scared, I’d lose you.”

I frowned as I in-took the information Seungcheol just gave me; he looked at me worried, as if he knew how this affected me. So…the auction was not only a set up to kill Mingyu, but it was also a set up to fool those people and also put my life at risk? It didn’t sit well with me and perhaps my blind trust in Mingyu faltered a little bit. How do I know what we have now is genuine?

“Who’s Hirai Momo?” I blurted out, remembering the tension between the old man and Mingyu. How smug he acted there, how tauntingly he said her name, how he owned the place. Seungcheol sat up straight, eyes wide.

“What?”

If Mingyu was so horrible, he must have done something to them, I wanted to know what. Did he use the family, maybe Momo, like he used me for the auction? Was he using me now too? Would I suffer a similar fate to the Hirai family?

“Vernon—” I gulped as I maintained eye-contact with Cheol, hating that I was lying to him again, “I heard him mention that name and he looked…really sad…”

Seungcheol gulped and he looked away, scratching the back of his neck, “The Hirai family got involved with Mingyu at the worst time and they thought they could play him, so now Mingyu owns them for life. It’s a dirty world we live in, Y/N. Once you mess with a leader like Mingyu, you’re at his mercy.”

I hummed and played with my fingers as Cheol glanced at me, looking uncomfortable, “But who’s Momo?”

“A woman.”

“What happened to her?”

Seungcheol refused to look at me as he rose from the sofa and took his mug, taking a sip from it, “Just a poor girl who—got involved with the wrong person—”

“Stop saying that!” I snapped, anger returning, “I’m fed up with hearing the same excuse over and over again! Just tell me!”

“She’s Mingyu’s ex, okay?” Seungcheol snapped, his anger seeming to match mine, “She fell in love with him and Mingyu played her, no, destroyed her for life. He exploited her and bent her to his wishes however he wanted. Momo can’t see Mingyu anymore, unless she wants to have another maniac episode. He traumatized her and now she’s suffering on her own, her parents struggle to keep her together every day. We don’t talk about her, so you should never bring her up again.”

I gulped as I watched Seungcheol, not exactly knowing how to take in the information. Mingyu did something so bad to Momo that she’s now suffering? He literally drove her crazy? I bit my lower lip and looked away from my best friend, afraid he’d already seen the tears in my eyes. I had the audacity to waltz inside the poor family’s house and flaunt around with Mingyu. With Mingyu, who knew if Momo saw him, she’d get worse, no, he enjoyed the thought of her seeing him…and me there with him. Who was the person I was dating? Did I even know anything about him? Was I destined to have the same fate? Maybe worse? Would he drive me crazy or kill me when he was done with me? I was on the verge of breaking down and just telling Seungcheol that I was dating Mingyu, when loud knocking interrupted the silence of my apartment. I jumped to my feet, hands shaking from the shock of what I learned, and Seungcheol extended an arm.

“Stay here.” He muttered lowly as he cautiously headed for the front door. I saw him peeking out the window before he neared the door, undoing the locks one by one. Seungcheol’s shoulders were tense as he gripped the handle and swung the door open, unleashing hell.

“Move, fuck, move!” Someone shouted and I jumped, heart thumping wildly.

“Where’s the fucking kitchen—”

“To the left, what the fuck happened!” Seungcheol’s voice boomed over the voices in my apartment and I was in the hallway, eyes widening at the sight. I gasped as I watched Mingyu half conscious, groaning at every step Wonwoo and Hoshi took. Chan looked frantic and when my eyes fell on Mingyu’s bloodied white shirt, I had to lean against the wall.

“What happened?” I asked faintly, not even noticing Cheol approach me.

“Go sit in the living room—”

“No, what the fuck happened!” I shouted, following after Wonwoo and Hoshi into my kitchen. Chan threw everything off my table, I didn’t care when a plate shattered, and Mingyu was laid on top of it.

“I need gauze, a knife, needle and thread, alcohol!” Seungcheol rushed past me, knocking into me, as I stood in the doorway with my eyes fixated on Mingyu’s pain covered face.

“A deal went wrong—” Wonwoo huffed out, tearing Mingyu’s shirt open as Chan rushed to wash his hands in the sink, Hoshi held Mingyu’s torso down, “Shootout happened, he got injured—”

Mingyu moaned loudly in pain and I watched helpless, that one time he returned injured after a week of missing and I had to dress him returning to my mind.

“Hurry the fuck up, S. Coups!” Chan shouted and I bit my lower lip, heart beating fast when Wonwoo slowly lifted the bloody material off Mingyu’s skin. Mingyu groaned again as he pressed his head into the table, eyes opening and falling on me.

“Sugar…” He panted, voice weak and raspy. I didn’t know how to react, my hands shook more, when Wonwoo beaconed me over.

“Is he—will he—die?”

“Not if it depends on me.” Chan said determinedly as Seungcheol rushed into the kitchen, everything Chan asked for in his arms. I shakily approached them and bit my lower lip when Mingyu grimaced again, squirming around more.

“Stop moving if you want the bullet out of your body!” Hoshi snapped and my eyes fell on the wound for the first time. I could see the bullet actually, it wasn’t in very deep, and it made me sick; his lower abdomen was all bloody and sweat covered his body.

“I told you to wear a fucking vest!” Wonwoo cursed, his deep voice raising at Mingyu and Seungcheol disinfected the knife and needle with the alcohol.

“Sugar…” Mingyu’s eyes searched for mine and I looked at him, not knowing what to do, “Now would be a good time to get a kiss…”

I huffed out a chuckle, shaking my head at him, as Chan took the knife in his hand, “Hold him down.”

Seungcheol grabbed Mingyu’s thighs, Hoshi held onto his torso and Wonwoo stood beside me, hands pressing down his shoulders.

“You can hold him too; he needs a little comfort.” Wonwoo muttered to me when Chan approached Mingyu.

“Stay still.” Chan instructed and I watched as he lowered the knife closer and closer to Mingyu’s ribs, poking the skin just underneath the bullet wound. Mingyu groaned loudly, sucking his belly in and I fell to my knees, taking his head in my hands.

“Look at me,” I said shakily and Mingyu’s jaw clenched as a groan left his lips, “You’ll be fine.”

His body was twitching and my eyebrows furrowed when I glanced at Chan, knife in the wound, pushing the bullet out. The sight made me sick and I looked back at Mingyu as he cried out.

“It’s almost out, Mingyu…” I whispered and he groaned, turning his head into my hold, closing his eyes tightly shut. Chan worked to wipe the wound with alcohol too and Mingyu cried out for the second time, his voice raw. My heart clenched at the sound and I knew he could feel the tremor of my hands when his eyes snapped open, the needle with the threat entering his skin to stitch him up.

“I’m fine.” He growled out, jaw clenched, the veins in his neck showing, as he pressed his head into my touch.

“Yes, you are.” I snapped, biting my lower lip when he attempted to chuckle, “Because…if you die…I don’t know what I’ll do.”

I needed so many answers, he couldn’t leave me. We’ve been together for way too little time; I couldn’t lose him now.

“A bullet can’t—” He hissed and I glanced at Chan to see him having finished stitching Mingyu up, “take me down, fuck.”

His body seemed to go slack, his muscles loosened when Chan stepped back, and the boys let go of him. I couldn’t, not when he was laying on my kitchen table injured and in pain. He nuzzled his cheek into my touch and closed his eyes as Chan cleaned up the skin around the wound as best as he could, pressing some gauze against the stitches.

“Who did this?” Seungcheol’s voice was deadly, low and menacing, and my head whipped in his direction to see him staring at Mingyu’s wound. Soonyoung shared a look with Wonwoo and he left Mingyu’s side, taking Seungcheol out of the kitchen with himself.

“Seungcheol told us it was a bad idea—” Wonwoo seemed angry as his palms turned into fists.

“And you said we should proceed still—” Mingyu spat, eyes blazing with fire as he opened them, glaring at his best friend. Chan remained quiet as he cleaned up and I continued to hold Mingyu’s head, stroking his hot cheek. And then I remembered the conversation I overheard Vernon and Seungcheol having, and I opened my mouth, not letting Wonwoo say anything.

“Since when do you take orders from Wonwoo?” I snapped, raising my eyebrows. The three men looked at me stunned, my voice was hard and the panic and anger slipped through, “Seungcheol is your fucking second-in-hand, not Wonwoo. Remember who you are, Kim Mingyu, and start acting like it.”

When I said those words, I didn’t know the weight they carried. I failed to notice the look Chan and Wonwoo shared next to me, the way they straightened up and looked down. Mingyu’s eyebrows furrowed, probably confused how I knew that, but I knew he got the message when his expression hardened. He raised his head and I lowered mine, pressing a kiss against his lips before Seungcheol returned. The questions remained, all the insecurities worsened, but when I looked at Mingyu, laying on my table in the kitchen injured, I knew those could wait. I knew I would forgive him, because I cared about him so much. So much, I felt like my own life flashed in front of my eyes when I saw him in pain and all bloody. I realized, no matter what this man did to me, I would always return because I cared about him. Because I wanted to be with him, because I felt something for him, I’ve never felt before. And maybe…I was the next Momo, but I couldn’t bring myself to walk away. And if I didn’t do it now, I wouldn’t do it later.

The boys stayed for two hours, letting Mingyu get a little rest while they planned how to get back at the gang that injured their leader. I cooked some food and fed the men, staying by Mingyu’s side, even though he asked to be alone. I couldn’t bring myself to do that, not when his face was scrunched up in his sleep, and he winced at the tiniest movement. Chan gave him some powerful painkillers but the effects kicked in later than they were expecting it. Seungcheol was too busy and tired to pay any attention to me as they were huddled around in my kitchen at the table, which we cleaned up already, discussing about something I wasn’t supposed to hear about. I took that as my chance to sneak into my bedroom, where Mingyu was resting, and study some more while supervising him and making sure he was alright. Mingyu had a fever, but Chan said it was a normal reaction. Apparently, Chan went to med school and he was SVT’s medic, in case something like this happened. He reassured me that Mingyu would be fine and in no more than just a week, he’d stop feeling any discomfort caused by the bullet wound. I trusted him and thanked him for doing his best as I closed the bedroom door softly, turning around to see Mingyu’s eyes half opened. He looked tired and in pain, my heart clenched. This was such a bad timing, I wanted to reassure him, but Seungcheol’s words hung around my head and I didn’t know how to act anymore. But when he extended his hand towards mine with a whine, I caved in, and walked up to the bed to hold onto him. He mumbled something that I couldn’t understand as he held onto my hand fiercely, his eyes finally closing as he dozed off with a long sigh. Tears gathered in my eyes once again as I looked down at him, confusion, fear, and affection mushing together all because of one man. I felt so lost sitting there, left alone with my thoughts, but my finals were tomorrow and I needed to study still. So, I grabbed my notebook and sat on the floor, holding onto Mingyu’s hand, as I distracted my thoughts by memorizing everything I could.

After Mingyu woke up and ate a bit, Wonwoo, Soonyoung and Chan took him away and thanked me for housing them for the time being. Apparently, my apartment was the closest and they knew Seungcheol was over, so they knew they had to come here. I was a bit reluctant when Mingyu whispered that he’d text me as soon as he got home, not wanting him to go just yet, but I nodded at him and kissed his cheek when no one was watching. That night, I hardly slept anything, and I ended up going over to Seungcheol’s, cuddling up next to him in his small bed. It helped a bit, but I wasn’t feeling very energized in the morning when Seungcheol drove us to Uni, let alone ready to take those finals. But I sucked it up, and did my best to get a passing grade. Before leaving, I messaged Mingyu to see if he was feeling alright and I got a swift text back, but I didn’t think much of it, he wasn’t very talkative in the mornings. I continued to send a few messages, like I usually would, while Seungcheol and I were going to Uni but I got no answer back, so I assumed Mingyu was just resting. After my finals, I messaged him once again with a few texts, checking up on him and letting him know that I was done with Uni and I would head to the bookstore, but I got no answer back. It made me a bit sulky, but I tried not to think much of it, he probably was just resting, like he should. However, it still worried me a bit since he stopped answering me since the morning. Seungcheol had to stay for longer at Uni today, so Vernon was the one picking me up, he called and told me was around and free if I needed a ride or wanted to have lunch. I told him that I couldn’t go to lunch today as I was working, so he offered to drive me to the bookstore.

It was warm inside the car and I sighed with a smile as I closed the door, smiling back at Vernon. He leaned over the middle console and we hugged each other before I put on my seatbelt, my backpack resting between my legs.

“How were your finals?” He asked as he drove out of the parking lot.

“Hard, but at least it’s finally over.” I muttered with a sigh, melting into the seat. I could finally do whatever I wanted and wouldn’t be stressed anymore.

“I heard finals are a pain in the ass.” I scoffed at Vernon’s words as he turned onto the main street.

“I was living on coffee and all I did for two weeks was an attempt to study non-stop…” Vernon hummed, turning up the radio when his favorite song came on. I chuckled and bobbed my head to it, unlocking my phone to check if Mingyu answered back. There was nothing though and I sighed as I continued enjoying the music, laughing when Vernon rapped along. He changed lanes swiftly and sped up a bit, crossing the light when it turned yellow.

“What’s bothering you?” Vernon spoke over the music, giving me a quick glance, “You keep frowning.”

I quickly evened my expression out and shook my head, “Nothing.”

“Ay, come on…” Vernon gave me another glance, “You won’t tell you friend what’s bothering you? Do you not trust me?”

“I trust you!” I snapped and Vernon chuckled, coming to a stop at the red light, “It’s just…”

“Just say it, it’s no big deal, really.” He offered me a small smile and tapped my knee reassuringly.

I pursed my lips and nodded, turning my head away from him as my cheeks warmed, “Do you know anything about Mingyu…”

Vernon remained silent as he turned the volume of the music down, “Like…am I supposed to know anything specific about him?”

I scoffed and gave him a look, “He was shot and I’m just curious if he’s fine.”

“Ah!” Vernon exclaimed, driving through the intersection once the lights turned green, “Yeah, we had a meeting this morning, he was fine. I mean…I’m sure he’s still in pain, but he had more energy than I was expecting him to have.”

“Really?” I muttered and sighed, looking out the window, “Is he resting enough?”

“It’s Mingyu,” Vernon scoffed and I glanced at him, “He never rests, especially when we are in the middle of negotiating with the police! I know he was with Sana today before and after our meeting—”

My head whipped in Vernon’s direction as his eyes went wide, “What?”

“Uh,” Vernon gulped and chuckled awkwardly, stopping at a cross, “No—nothing?”

“Mingyu was with who?” I pressed again, shooting daggers at Vernon’s profile as he started driving again.

“Sana.” He whispered guiltily and I huffed, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

“That fucking asshole,” I snapped, voice growing loud, “I worry about him non-stop, wondering if he’s doing alright, but he’s out with Sana? Doing business, I assume? I’m so fucking fed up with him! Why did I even think dating him was a good idea—”

It was my turn for my eyes to go wide, and voice grow silent. Vernon didn’t say anything, a bit surprised by my sudden outburst. I cleared my throat and sneaked a glance at him, he was grinning to himself.

“What.” I muttered, glaring down at my own legs.

“Are you jealous?” His voice filled with amusement almost made me lose it again.

“I’m not!” I exclaimed, looking at him with narrowed eyes, “What makes you think that?”

“Well…” Vernon chuckled as he pulled in front of the bookstore, “I don’t know if it makes you feel better, but Mingyu is really jealous too. I mean…he told me right after the auction to leave you alone because you’ve been dating secretly for a while now.”

“That’s not even true!” I exclaimed as my eyes went wide; Vernon just shrugged, “We’ve only been dating for four weeks now…there was nothing going on between us before the auction!”

I undid my seatbelt as Vernon watched me with a pout, “I don’t want to get involved with your relationship, but…just be careful, okay?”

“Why?” I raised my eyebrows, opening the door, “Because I’ll end up like Momo?”

Vernon’s jaw went slack as his eyes ran over my face, shocked that I knew of her, “What?”

“Yeah,” I snapped sourly, “Mingyu had the audacity to take me to their house. He’s incapable of answering my texts because he’s currently with Sana. Maybe he’s already begun his process of breaking me, huh?”

“That’s not—” I scoffed and Vernon looked away from me for a second, “That’s not what’s happening, if Mingyu wanted to play around with you, he would have had his fun with you already.”

I hummed and exited the car, “Yeah…I don’t know what to believe anymore, Vernon. I know the whole auction was planned, Cheol told me.”

Vernon’s face turned pale and guilt overtook his features as I turned to look at him, “I’m not mad at you, don’t worry. I’ll talk to you later and—please, don’t tell anyone about Mingyu and I, especially Seungcheol.”

“I won’t, take care of yourself.” I hummed and closed the car’s door, watching as Vernon drove away. I sighed and looked up at the sky, questioning all the decisions I have taken lately. What was I doing? Was this the right path? Could I turn around? I couldn’t though, it was too late already. Maybe this was supposed to happen to teach me a lesson. With a sigh I turned to walk up to the bookstore, but my phone got a message notification. I took it in my hand and pulled down the notification bar to see a text from Mingyu. Then another and five more in just five seconds. I scoffed and put it back in my pocket as I headed for the bookstore, eyebrows furrowed and blood boiling. He has the audacity to say he was resting meanwhile he was with Sana. If he thinks he can fool me and make me bend to his wishes, he is fucking wrong.

I was doing the shops inventory as I hummed along to the music. Irene had to leave to pick up a package that her mother sent for her from the train station, so I was currently alone at the bookstore. I didn’t mind spending my time alone here, today was a less busy day. I was checking the list of newly arrived books when the door opened, making my eyebrows furrow.

“I’m sorry, we are doing inventory right now—” When I raised my head and looked at the person standing in the doorway, my blood boiled. Mingyu wore a long brown coat that reached his ankles, and he held a bag in his hands.

“Hi, sugar.” He said with a smirk as he walked further inside, my jaw clenched. I didn’t want to see him.

“We are closed.” I snapped as I went back to checking the list, ignoring Mingyu’s intense gaze.

“You weren’t answering my texts,” He said quietly and I rolled my eyes, “I brought lunch.”

“I’m not hungry.” I muttered as Mingyu stopped on the opposite side of the counter, placing the bag on top of it.

“You didn’t have lunch today.” Mingyu pressed and I sighed, finally looking at him. He looked fine, besides the slight wincing when he moved.

“My appetite has been gone for days…” I told Mingyu and he raised his eyebrows, glancing down at the inventory list.

“I saw your finals went good?” I nodded my head, looking away when he searched my eyes, “We can finally spend more time together. I was thinking we could go on a trip—”

“I’m working still.” I shut him up quickly, grabbing the bag, and placed it behind the counter, “I haven’t seen my parents in a long time, I want to visit them soon.”

“We can go together.” Mingyu offered with a grin and I hummed, not very keen of the idea.

“Yeah…I’d rather not present you to them…” I muttered as I turned around to grab the box of newly arrived books. Mingyu scoffed and I threw him a glance, he was glaring at me.

“Why not?”

I scoffed this time as I slammed the box on top of the counter, “Because we’ve barely been dating for four weeks? Why would I take you home when the relationship is so unstable?”

Mingyu’s eyebrows furrowed and his jaw clenched, “What the hell are you saying?”

“You heard me.” I snapped as I opened the box with more force than necessary, glaring at Mingyu when he grabbed my wrist to get my attention. He hissed quietly at the sudden movement, pain painting his face for a second.

“What is your problem lately?” He snapped and I offered him an unamused smile.

“You are my problem,” I yanked my wrist out of his hold and for a second I felt bad as Mingyu winced, “I’m working, so please leave. The bookstore is closed for inventory.”

Mingyu scoffed and shook his head at me with a sneer, throwing me a glare before he turned around and stormed out of the bookstore. I sighed and leaned against the counter, closing my eyes. Is this the relationship I want? Constant fighting? Pent up frustration? No communication about my feelings? Since when did I become so closed off and unhealthy? Why do I feel for the first time like I’m inferior to a person?

Irene and I got to stay later than the we usually would at the bookstore as our boss came around to give us our salary. He offered to give us a ride home as it was dark outside already, but Irene had to be somewhere, and I didn’t want to bother him. He lived on the other side of the city so I reassured my boss that I would be taking a cab home, so that he would let me leave. After he closed up, we bid our goodbyes to each other, and all three of us went our separate ways. I held onto my backpack as I walked down the street, inhaling the chilly air of the evening. It was refreshing and it didn’t bother me as I needed something to clear and ease up my mind. Finals were over, yet I was still stressed because of Mingyu. I didn’t know how to bring up everything that was bothering me and it was stressing me out more. As I sighed, shuffling behind me caught my attention and I peaked over my shoulder subtly to see a tall figure approaching me fast. My first instinct was to start running, until I realized it was Mingyu’s brown coat that was flapping around. I groaned and stopped walking, turning around to face him.

“Why are you following me?” I snapped once he approached me, his eyebrows furrowed.

“It’s late, why are you walking home?” He asked, grabbing my backpack. I glanced down but didn’t let go of it.

“Because my shift is over, am I not supposed to go home?” Mingyu sighed and tugged on the backpack but I still held onto it, “I’m not giving it to you.”

“Would you have walked home if I didn’t show up to drive you?” I looked up at Mingyu with a grimace as he gave the backpack a harsh yank, almost pulling it out of my grip.

“I don’t want you to drive me home.” Mingyu just rolled his eyes before he stepped closer, forehead’s almost touching. I looked into his eyes instinctively, taken aback by his sudden closeness. His honey-like scent invaded my nostrils and I hated how it made me miss his touch. I didn’t even feel it when Mingyu untangled my fingers from the backpack, lost in his eyes, and he was already stepping away.

“Get in the car.” His voice was commanding as he left me standing on the sidewalk, his Mercedes a few feet away, parked where it wasn’t even allowed to. I closed my eyes and sighed, knowing I couldn’t just walk home now, so I went and sat in his car. My backpack was thrown in the back and the radio was turned off as I did my seatbelt, feeling Mingyu watching me. I didn’t look at him, I just turned my head to look outside the window and he started driving wordlessly. He wasn’t speeding like he usually would, he was driving at a slow tempo and it was pissing me off. He was doing it on purpose, prolonging our time together.

“I’m tired, I want to get home tonight, if that’s possible.” I snapped finally, biting the insides of my cheeks when Mingyu scoffed.

“Of course, you’re tired, sugar. Any excuse that gets you away from me is welcome.” I rolled my eyes but remained silent as Mingyu sped up just a little bit, changing lanes recklessly. I reached out to turn on the radio, but Mingyu’s strong grip made me stop and hiss.

“What are you doing.” I snapped and looked at him with a glare as I tried to free my wrist.

“Start talking, right now.” His jaw was clenched, stance stiff, eyebrows furrowed and lips in a tight line. I gulped and tried to tug my wrist away again, but Mingyu just held it stronger and I whined, pain surging up my arm.

“It hurts.” I muttered, but he didn’t react.

“Yeah, I’m hurting too, but you don’t see me whining like a fucking baby.” He snapped and I looked at him hurt, why was he making everything worse?

“Can you take my feelings into consideration for just one second?” I asked, eyebrows raising as Mingyu scoffed.

“You’re asking me to do that? What about you?”

“Why do you always turn everything I say around and blame me?” I exclaimed and a humorless chuckle left Mingyu’s lips.

“Because you always paint me as the bad guy!” He snapped back and I laughed, tugging my wrist finally away.

“Aren’t you the bad guy though?” I asked with a taunting chuckle, turning my body towards him as my eyes narrowed at Mingyu, “Everyone is telling me to stay away from you. Maybe they are right, maybe I’m starting to see what they’ve been warning me of. Maybe…it’s not late for me to walk away. Save myself from becoming another Momo.”

I gasped when Mingyu hit the brakes suddenly, sending us forward in the car. Loud honking came from around us and a few tire screeching sounds, but thankfully nothing worse happened. Mingyu’s eyes have darkened as he looked at me and I gulped, almost afraid. My heart was thumping wildly when he pulled over onto the side walk, the engine still running as he turned his whole body to look at me.

“What did you say?” Mingyu’s voice was low and a shiver ran over my skin. I almost looked away when his gaze found mine, but no, this was the timing I needed. Horrible, indeed, but if I didn’t tell him now, I wouldn’t later.

“I know everything about you and Momo, don’t even try to deny it. You played her, made her crazy—and you took me to their house? Knowing how she’d react seeing you there?!” My voice broke, emotions of shame and anger mixing, “You made me walk in there, waltz around—I’m fucking sick just thinking about it! And—and Sana! The way you treated me when she showed up? Do you think I’m a piece of shit you can push around, Mingyu? You call me your girlfriend but you let her be all over you? Kiss her on the corner of her mouth? In front of me? What game are you playing, huh?”

“I’m not playing any games, Y/N,” Mingyu growled out and I flinched when he swiftly grabbed my nape, pulling me closer, “Everything is in your head—”

“Oh, Momo being crazy is in my head?! You eye-fucking with Sana is just in my head?! You constantly pushing my needs away to satisfy yours are in my head?! Putting my life at risk by bringing me to the auction because you knew they planned to ambush you, is all in my head, right?!” I screamed at Mingyu, breathing hard and eyes filling with tears of anger, frustration, and hurt. He gaped at me, taken aback by my outburst, grip loosening on my nape.

“I—” He cleared his throat when his voice sounded weak, “I knew what I was doing—you—you would have never been hurt even if they proceeded with the ambush.”

I chuckled tiredly as tears escaped my eyes, my chest felt lighter and maybe the tears were of relief as I shook my head, “How can you know that?”

“I planned it.” Mingyu’s jaw clenched as he searched for my eyes.

“Like those two raids that got fucked because of you?” I whispered, biting my lower lip as I attempted to brush my tears off my cheeks. Mingyu’s face fell and he winced as he leaned closer, pulling me into a tight hug. He sighed and held me tighter when I didn’t return the hug, I didn’t have the energy, I was still crying silently.

“I would never put your life in danger if I didn’t know what I was doing.” Mingyu’s voice was filled with raw emotion and it made my heart clench, “I’m so sorry I made you feel like this…”

I hummed and weakly returned the hug, careful not to squeeze Mingyu as his wound was still fresh, “I’m so upset that you hid so many things from me. Why can’t you just tell me the truth? How can I trust you, Mingyu?”

“I promise to tell you everything from now on.” He reassured softly, running his hands down my back.

“You can’t even answer my texts, but you hang out with Sana instead of resting?” I scoffed and bit my lower lip, the tears have finally stopped falling, “How do you think it made me feel? I have never acted the way you do, around Vernon or Seungcheol, have I? I even told you they are like my brothers to remind you there was nothing going on between us. But you…I don’t know anymore. What if you’re sleeping with her behind my back? Why would you even be with me if Sana was there—”

“Stop.” Mingyu’s voice raised as he pulled back abruptly, holding my cheeks firmly, “Please stop saying so much non-sense, do you even hear yourself, sugar? I care for you so much; you can’t even imagine what it feels like. You are the only thing that fills up my mind. You’re constantly on my mind, so much, sometimes it drives me crazy. I would never—I will never do what I did to Momo to you, and I will never cheat on you or hurt you. Please, stop thinking it will happen. Just—trust me? Please, I will explain everything when this mess is over. Sana is just a person I’m doing business with and it’s a very important matter for SVT. I’m risking everything with this, please, don’t leave me when I need you most.”

I bit my lower lip again, refusing to tear up again, “I trust you. I’m just…so insecure. I want to trust you more but it’s hard when you switch from being like this into a person I don’t recognize.”

“I can’t show this side of me, the real me, to others, sugar. You have to learn to accept both, work with both. It’s still me at the end of the day, yeah?” Mingyu raised his eyebrows and I nodded wordlessly, finally letting myself melt into his touch. I missed him so much. I didn’t want us to get here. I should have voiced my fears a long time ago.

“I’m sorry, I—I’ll try to speak up about how I feel before it blows up. I just really suck at talking about my feelings.” I looked away and Mingyu smiled softly, leaning close to nuzzle his nose against mine.

“Yeah, you definitely need to stop doing that. I missed you a lot.” He muttered and I returned the smile, placing my hands on top of his.

“I missed you too,” I pressed my lips against his, warmness flooding my body at the sense of familiarity, “Stop leaning over the console, you’re hurting the wound.”

“It does hurt like a bitch.” Mingyu groaned as he pulled back, sitting back normally in his seat.

“You have to rest, okay?” I raised my eyebrows at him and he nodded with a grin, offering me his hand. I intertwined our fingers with a grimace, irritated by the smug look on his face.

“Stay with me tonight?” Mingyu asked and I looked at him wondering. Could I sleep over at his? No, Seungcheol would notice my absence and that would be bad. Maybe Mingyu could sleep over at my place?

I opened my mouth to answer him back, but his phone started ringing. With his left hand he took it off the dashboard and answered the call. I couldn’t hear what the person on the other line was saying, but it made Mingyu tense up, all tenderness gone from his expression. I watched him as he grew angry in just a few seconds, and I rubbed his knuckles with my fingers to reassure him a bit.

“Understood, I’ll be there.” He growled out and ended the call, throwing his phone back where it was. I raised my eyebrows as he threw me a look, shifting the gear into position.

“We need to make a quick stop, then we can go home and sleep.” He said as he started driving again, posture tense. I nodded and rested my head against the headrest, curious as to where we were headed. Mingyu drove at a high speed, but I remained silent. What has happened now?

Part 5

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twicearoundthesun · 3 years ago

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a little blurb from the au I’m working on, it’s like a mix of totally spies and charlie’s angels because i’m in love with the kristen stewart charlies angels movie

Let me know what you think!

.....

Tzuyu watched as Chaeyoung brushed the last bit of contour on Sana’s cheeks. Between the wig, layers of makeup, and thick fake glasses, she was almost unrecognizable.

It was seamless, and it was perfect. Tzuyu had never seen anything so impressive. Chaeyoung was clearly fantastic at her job.

“Remember.” Jeongyeon flipped through Sana’s notes once again, triple-checking them before placing them on the makeup table in front of her. “He’s dangerous, Sana.”

“I’ve worked with dangerous before.” She winked. “There’s a reason I’m the best at what I do.”

“Save the flirting for the interview, please. Give me your cover story again.”

“I’ve just graduated with a degree in communications in December, a semester early because I stacked my credits to save time. Thought about moving back home, but I’m trying anything to stay in town a little while longer, including taking this secretary job. I’m from a suburb of Busan. I don’t know that he’s also from Busan, because he lies to the press and tells them he’s a Seoul boy through and through. My only hobbies are knitting and Genshin Impact. I’m really just a stay-at-home introvert.”

Chaeyoung snorted. “I don’t know if anyone will believe that last part.”

Sana smiled. “People will believe anything I want them to believe, if I bat my eyelashes and pout.”

“And that’s why you’re the best at what you do.” Chaeyoung smiled.

“And, um -” Tzuyu cut in, immediately feeling small when all three near-strangers turned to her. Sana smiled encouragingly. “What do you do – uh, I mean, what’s your role? If you don’t mind…”

“Of course not, sweetie. We all do a bit of everything, but I’m the main recon agent. Chaengie here gets me all dolled up and I go flirt a little and convince people to tell me their secrets. It’s the most fun job.” She winked.

“It’s also much more dangerous than she’s making it sound,” Jeongyeon grumbled, “And definitely not what we’re going to focus on for you at first. Though everyone on the team gets training in everything we do so you’ll learn a bit about it anyway.”

Tzuyu tried not to show that she was relieved. From what she knew – which, admittedly, was just from corny spy movies and video games – recon was a tough job. Getting cozy with dangerous criminals didn’t sound like fun to her.

“Noted.” She nodded.

Jeongyeon turned back to Sana, picking up the notebook sitting on the table in front of her. “And you know what you’re looking for?”

“A secretary job?”

“Not what your cover is looking for, Sana.” Jeongyeon sighed. Sana giggled.

“I’m looking for evidence that he’s stealing from the children’s hospital charity. Gotta get Dahyunnie’s flash drive into his computer, somehow. It’ll download everything. Besides that, any evidence of communication with other problematic people.”

“Right. And it all has to be today. If you get called back for that interview, you’re not taking any more chances. This is the only time I’ll have you in that building alone: when he doesn’t perceive a threat yet. Understood?”

Sana smiled, stood, and kissed her nose. “Yesss, Jeongie.”

Jeongyeon rolled her eyes. “Please be safe. Chaeyoung, Momo, and Jihyo will be circling the building the whole time in a car if needed. Hit the panic switch on your watch the second you feel like anything’s off, and they’ll find a way to come get you. Okay?”

“Of course.”

Jeong nodded. “Alright. Go see Dahyun, she’s got a new tazer necklace or something for you she’s really excited about.”

Sana just giggled and basically skipped down the hall and out of sight.

Jeongyeon turned back to Chaeyoung. “You go get ready too. Take the sports car. You’ll be in the rich part of the city so no one will bat an eyelash at an extra Audi.”

“Jeongie, you just made my day.” Chaeyoung smiled as Jeongyeon rolled her eyes at Sana’s nickname. She turned to Tzuyu, holding out a hand. Tzuyu shook it. “I’ll see you soon, Tzu. Nice to officially meet.”

“You, too.”

“Stay safe.” Jeongyeon called down the hall after her. Chaeyoung just waved her off and kept walking.

#Jeongyeon #Sana #Chaeyoung #Tzuyu #spies au

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rebrandedbard · 4 years ago

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A little drabble exchange for @theamazingbard that accidentally became more of a ficlet. Threw in a little hispanic nursery rhyme since I don’t know if we have them in english for making pain go away. I tried googling but it was unhelpful.

TW: Descriptions of blood, drinking it, gross stuff like that. Canon-typical wounds. References to drinking and inebriation.

WC: 2617

Lips Black as the Rose

Featuring highervampire!Jaskier as he tries to figure himself out after being turned. A bit of spice in there. Am I picking and choosing parts of the lore as I see fit? Yes. Is it very sexy of me to do so? One hundred percent. Will I beta this before posting? Oh absolutely not, you know the drill. ‘No beta, we die like men and get our shit wrecked in the comments’ is my go-to Ao3 tag for a reason.

Under no circumstances would Jaskier ever cause harm to another living thing, but the world did not reciprocate that exact philosophy. He’d been chased and held at the business end of many a sword, dagger, lance, and—on several unfortunately memorable occasions—a startling variety of available flatware. Things were rougher after meeting Geralt and having his usual human pursuers overshadowed by the threat of monsters.

Where once a spoon in the hands of a rabid duke would seem a most threatening opponent, Jaskier now found himself on the run from a more literal array of rabid beasts, and he could quote the running speeds the prove that having an extra pair of legs did indeed give certain monsters a leg up, so to speak, on the competition. But then, having no legs at all could prove a better advantage, and such creatures as those often had the additional advantage of long, venomous teeth.

Suffice to say, it was a difficult thing to be a lover in a world of fighters. Particularly when one falls into the company of another presumed lover, only to discover that their invitation to dinner was, in truth, an invitation to be dinner.

A vampire. Young, wine drunk, and foolish, Jaskier allowed himself to be led into the vampire’s den. It had been many years ago, he no longer remembered the details. He only remembered a sharp pain on his shoulder, followed by a woozy numbness, and he awoke in a strange bed, in an inn he did not check into, with his reflection missing from the mirror. He’d run away from home shortly after, fearing a bloodlust that was never to come.

It was a strange thing, being a vampire. After months of research, Jaskier came to no conclusions as to what it meant to be one exactly. He experimented with the content of old myths, touching silver very cautiously, taking delicate bites of foods prepared with garlic. He could cross a river just as well as any man. All in all, there was not much wrong with him, and he wondered what all the fuss was about. Well, there was a bit of fuss in that he could no longer be sure of his appearance, and he’d become more vain than ever, relying on the opinions of others to assure him that he looked presentable. This was a particular bother where Geralt was concerned, for he rarely paid compliments—if ever—and was not inclined to offer opinions concerning such trifling things as fashion or appearances.

Jaskier felt sure that Geralt would have noticed right away, but when their paths crossed again, Geralt seemed entirely ignorant of Jaskier’s dramatic change in biology. Running his tongue over his teeth, he could find no fangs. People complimented him on his eyes, still cooing over how bright and blue they were; and he’d been so afraid they’d turned a ghastly red as in the stories. From what he could tell, he appeared human. He had no violent urges to drain the blood from red-cheeked virgins, nor had he transformed into a bat and flown into the night. Sunlight only burned his skin as much as it had before, though it might have been harder on his eyes. He found himself squinting more in the afternoon, and it was unpleasant hot at times.

All in all, he was relatively normal.

“Such beauty ought to be preserved evermore.” That was what the vampire had told him that night. A great favor, immortality, but he wished he might have been offered a list of instructions to go with it. Figuring things out on his own was exasperating. And though he was not quite compelled to drink blood, there were times when he was … drawn. By curiosity.

When Geralt returned from a hunt, his flesh torn and body bleeding, Jaskier found it challenging to tend his wounds. Many times, he’d almost given into temptation. It did not help that he’d wanted to know the taste of Geralt’s skin long before the transformation. Now, there was an intoxicating layer to the fantasy, and the smell of Geralt’s blood made him hazy, like the bouquet of a strong wine. Or more realistically, the cloud of bitter vodka. If it had been a particularly nasty fight, Jaskier was sure he could taste Geralt’s blood by the smell alone, so powerful it made his nose wrinkle. He could get drunk on the fumes, and it was not always so pleasant.

He never dared try. There were too many things to consider. For a start, there was no telling what the blood of a witcher would do to him—and that was before factoring potions into the equation. Having never fed of blood, Jaskier did not know how his instincts would react, and he was sure he had some animal instinct to him now. He might drain Geralt dry in a matter of minutes, or the taste of blood might make him go insane and start tearing at his surroundings like a mad beast! Or, simplest and frightening of all, Geralt might kill him. So Jaskier kept his secret, never giving in to his curiosity.

But one day, he’d slipped.

“Fuck,” Geralt grunted. He clenched his hand and a sharp smell pervaded the air. In sharpening his sword, his hand had slipped. He’d cut the meat of his palm, just above his wrist.

Jaskier was up at once, Geralt’s bag in hand, ready to wrap the wound. He was very quick these days in getting things bundled up as soon as possible. Once the wounds were wrapped, the smell was not as pronounced. He fished out a strip of cloth and had it round Geralt’s hand in a matter of moments, working efficiently with good practice.

Geralt smiled ruefully. “A clean wound, at least. Should stitch itself up by morning.” He chuckled and inspected the wound, his eyes flicking over to Jaskier. “Haven’t done that since I was a child sharpening my first dagger,” he said.

“Did you cut yourself often in training?” Jaskier asked.

“No, not so often. We didn’t waste wrappings on such small scrapes either.”

There was a distracting shadow of red seeping through the cloth. Jaskier scoffed. “So you let it bleed into the open air, did you?”

“We were less inclined to coddle than humans.”

“Coddle?” Jaskier said, raising an offended hand to his chest. “My dear, a dressing is hardly evidence of coddling. If I wished to coddle you, I’d kiss it better and sing a little chant.”

Geralt presented his hand to Jaskier, smirking humorously. “Then do it. I’ve never heard of humans having such power as to kiss wounds better. Would save me a lot of trouble.”

“Erm … ” Jaskier flushed, considering the proffered wound. He nearly made a joke about lacking such power, being no longer human, but he bit it back. To cover his hesitation, he took Geralt’s hand and gently sang the rhyme his nurse used to calm him after a scraped elbow or knee. His tongue rolled musically as he rubbed the dressing carefully. “Sana sana colita de rana, si no sanas hoy, sanarás mañana.” Then he bent his head down to kiss the place.

“I don’t see what frogs’ tails have to do with my hand,” Geralt joked.

But Jaskier did not hear him. Instead, he felt oddly fixed in place, a metallic tang on the tip of his tongue. He opened his mouth slightly, closed it, and licked at his bottom lip to chase the memory of the taste. As he did, his tongue scraped the end of a long, pointed tooth. He stumbled back unsteadily, muttered his excuses, and fled to the safety of his bedroll across camp. There he sat, writing nonsense in his notebook as though struck by sudden inspiration.

He’d tasted Geralt’s blood. And now he wanted more.

The next few hunts were blessedly without injury. Jaskier found he was able to breathe again. It twisted his gut whenever Geralt went off to fulfill a contract, and his conscience was at odds with this new obsession. He wanted Geralt to come back whole and unharmed. But he wanted some cut, some smallest scrape upon which to lathe his tongue. When he thought of it, he felt a stirring in his gums, and touching the place, he found the fangs had grown in again. It took concentration to hide them again. He took to smiling with his mouth closed after the first incident, and he developed a habit of biting his lips.

When they came to a larger town, Jaskier went straight to the butcher. To quell his growing need, he bought fresh meat, sneaking a sip from the blood dish beneath the draining sheep’s carcass while the butcher’s back was turned. It had the strangest effect on him. Within minutes of leaving the butcher’s shop, he felt light-headed. He felt drunk, in short, and he wobbled his way to the inn, a giggle in his throat.

For dinner, he asked the potmaid to send the loin to the cook and surprised Geralt with it: a small treat to celebrate his recent hunting success. In truth, he wanted nothing to do with it, festering in the shame of his lie. The loin had merely been an excuse: something to keep the butcher busy while he drank his curiosity like some writhing leech dredged up from the water.

It made him drunk. He made note of it in his book and swore that would be the end of things. This odd affair made it easy to forget, his stomach turning in guilt and disgust at the thought of repeating the act. He was fine and healthy without blood, therefore there was no need to partake. He could go the rest of his life perfectly happy never drinking another drop. Until the day it fell from Geralt’s lip.

Jaskier stared at it from across the room. Geralt had just returned from a fight, his eyes and blood black with potion. His armour was scratched up, covered in foulness from monsters unknown, but he was alive and whole, hardly bruised. Jaskier tried to focus on the smell of the guts dripping from his armour. It was still as disgusting as ever, even with vampiric senses to influence his opinion. The wretched blood was still unappetizing. But above it, he smelled a strange scent: sweet, a touch of iron. And there, shining on Geralt’s lip, the wet glisten of blood.

He swallowed hard as Geralt wiped the cut on the back of his hand. The blood smudged along his chin, all the more enticing. His knuckles turned white on the sheet of his bed as he held himself in place. Ordinarily, he would be up on his feet to help coax Geralt out of his armour by now, but he did not trust himself to be so close.

Geralt shed his shoulder pads, looking at Jaskier from the corner of his eye. “It’s a bit slippery,” he said. He inclined his head, beckoning Jaskier over. That was their way. They did not ask things from one another. It was simple routine, and the brief lapse was something awkward to acknowledge.

What excuses could he provide? Jaskier stood on trembling legs and made his way, biting his own lip to hide the fangs he felt beginning to grow. His fingers were clumsy as he fumbled with the clasps, far too close to Geralt’s face. His breath caught, watching a bead of dark blood roll down his lip, over his chin. His lip was stained black.

Geralt had always had nice lips, Jaskier felt. He was always reminded torturously of this fact when he helped Geralt out of his armour. How could one undress such a man without indulging in the fantasy of what came after, even a little? But oh, it was a dangerous line of thought. Now he was bewitched by his senses, his focus single-mindedly drawn to that point on Geralt’s lip. To kiss him now, to lick the blood from his lip—it would be divine. He felt his heart beat faster at the prospect, his hands stalling to unbuckle Geralt’s breastplate as he stared. Just one taste. One kiss was all he wanted.

A hand pressed against his chest, stopping him short. Jaskier startled out of his unconscious reverie and looked at Geralt in horror. He hadn’t—! Had he? His attention flicked between Geralt’s eyes and his lip, and to his relief, the blood remained untouched.

“Not just now,” Geralt said, voice rumbling in his chest. “The potions might paralyze you—at least for a day. Anything lesser would die from a drink of it. It turns my blood to poison.”

Jaskier blinked, edging back. “I … don’t understand your meaning,” he feigned.

Geralt followed him, stepping forward. He raised a hand, caressing Jaskier’s cheek gently. “I know,” he said. “You’re not the best at keeping secrets. I noticed some time ago you stopped aging, and there’s no shadow at your feet, even on the brightest afternoon.”

He swiped his thumb over Jaskier’s bottom lip. Jaskier gasped, his lips parting, and Geralt pushed in. Then, his thumb was pushing Jaskier’s top lip away, revealing a glistening fang. He nodded, satisfied, and stepped back once more.

“You’re a vampire,” Geralt said. “And not a common one either. My medallion doesn’t react to you at all.” He chuckled and added, “As if you could be common by any measure.”

Jaskier turned away, picking up one of Geralt’s shoulder pads. He clutched it to his chest, whether for protection or for comfort he could not say. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I was afraid to tell you … afraid what you might say. What you … might do.”

A warm hand smoothed down his arm comfortingly. There was a teasing quality to Geralt’s voice when he spoke. A hand wrapped around Jaskier’s waist, making him nearly jump in surprise.

“In regards to what: the knowledge that you’re a vampire, or the knowledge that you want to kiss me?” Geralt asked, words hot against Jaskier’s neck.

Jaskier shivered, the adrenaline of his fear quickly turning to something sweeter. “Both,” he sighed. He closed his eyes, trying to focus, to understand Geralt’s intent.

“You cannot drink of me tonight,” Geralt whispered, “but I can satisfy that other hunger, if you only have the discipline to keep your teeth to yourself.”

“What are you saying, Geralt?” The way Geralt’s hand slipped lower and lower down his front, Jaskier thought he knew. Even so …

Geralt chuckled, nose pressing to the back of Jaskier’s neck. “I’m saying I’m tired of the way you look at me like a man starving and refuse to do something about it. It’s gotten worse. It was bad enough before, waiting for you to make your move, but since your turning, it’s insufferable. I feel like the centerpiece of a banquet, waiting to be devoured.”

“You said I couldn’t kiss you,” Jaskier said, breath coming up short as he felt himself pressed back against a firm chest, a second hand coming up to tug at the edge of his chemise. “I have no discipline whatsoever. And you know that.”

“Well then.”

Jaskier dropped the plate of armour as he was pushed backward. He fell, his knees caught by the edge of the bed. Arms caged him on either side, and above him. Geralt smiled, a drop of blood falling onto the sheets below. He pressed his thumb to Jaskier’s mouth once more, something ravenous in his eyes.

“Well then,” he repeated. “Looks like I’ll have to devour you instead.”

#my fic #drabbles #witcher #the witcher #geraskier #geralt #jaskier #vampire!jaskier #highervampire!jaskier #showing off a bit of my culture there with the little rhyme #mexican / irish blended household baby!#sadly though I learned the rhyme from spanish classes instead of from my family lmao #such is life #lips black as the rose fic #persie's tag #I TOLD you I'd leave things unfulfilled #suffer

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waltrp · 3 years ago

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“I watch you fast asleep, all I fear means nothing, in you and I there’s a new land” — Sanctuary, Utada Hikaru

full name: kaira nakamura current age → twenty-four faceclaim → minatozaki sana based off of → kairi from Kingdom Hearts powers/abilities → light magic, status → available

— she is described to be ;

+, self-assured, creative, cheerful

-, stubborn, passive, impatient

— biography ;

Kairi was put up for adoption when she was 4 years old. She didn’t remember her life before being adopted by her parents. All she knew was that there was a garden she loved to run through and a grandmother who loved her. It was strange that she couldn’t remember her parents but she didn’t think much about it when her adoptive parents were loving and kind. They were her real parents and it was why her heart broke when she lost her mother. She’d only been six and her father had been devastated. They’d packed up and moved to an Island far away from her father’s city life. He resigned his position as mayor and took Kairi away from all memories of her mother. They moved into their house by the beach on the island and she’d forgotten their old home. She couldn’t remember her room or where she liked to play. It made her adapt to her new life much easier, however, which is how she met Riku and Sora. The boys were strange to her at first. She couldn’t remember having friends before so she didn’t have much to go by. Sora was easy and comforting but Riku was aloof and at times, mean. Kairi didn’t know why the boy didn’t seem to like her but she wanted to be his friend. She tried very hard and with the help of Sora, Riku eventually gave in.

Kairi learned a lot about her new friends and she never forgot a thing about them. She’d taken to writing once she was old enough so she wouldn’t forget important things. She felt like she was constantly scribbling away while her friends played. Riku was the one who would drag her away from her notebooks so they could beat Sora at tag or hide-and-seek. They had a fun childhood on the beaches of their island. There was no one to threaten them and Kairi was able to be herself with no fear of rejection. Riku and Sora were her best friends and she couldn’t imagine her life without them. She did begin to feel Riku pull away from them and she thought maybe it was jealousy. Being a teenager was so infernally complicated. She just wanted to go on adventures together and enjoy the company of the two people she loved most but they didn’t get that.

Kairi had a terrible feeling the night that they didn’t hear from Riku. No matter how mad they may be, they always wished each other goodnight through text or a call. It was strange that she didn’t receive anything from either of them. She snuck out to the secret spot where she found Riku covered in a black fog with eyes glowing yellow. It scared her and it brought back a memory so buried in her heart that she could hardly believe it. He attacked her but it was like there was a shield around her. She fell back into the darkness and it was like falling asleep. She had a few dreams but there were ones where she heard Sora and Riku call out to her and sometimes she’d hear a girl. She felt like she knew her but Kairi didn’t know. It felt like forever and yet a blink of an eye before she woke again. Her friends were there, beat up and broken in ways she couldn’t understand, but they were there for her. They didn’t forget her and she had never felt so loved. She helped get them to sleep, barely time to catch up but she needed them better. She finally met Namine who seemed to be a part of her and Roxas who was a part of Sora and it was all so odd but so was sleeping for almost 10 years. She promised she’d watch over her friends while they healed and help Namine and Roxas adapt. Roxas had his own plans, however, and Kairi had to go after him. They needed to be together, no matter what, no one was going to be left behind.

face claim change?

not allowed | alternatives listed in tag | message admins for alternatives

ALTERNATE FACECLAIMS AND PROMPTS.

#kingdom hearts #rp #rpg #character rp #bio rp #bio rpg #school rpg #city rpg #magic rp #disney rp #animation rpg #roleplay #roleplay group #fantasy roleplay #kairi nakamura #minatozaki sana #open female

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jimlingss · 5 years ago

Text

Sugar and Coffee [9]

Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 9.5 OR Chapter 10

➜ Words: 3.9k

➜ Genres: 99.5% Fluff, 0.5% Angst, Pâtisserie school!AU

➜ Summary: It isn't hard to be a pâtisserie chef, but it's not a piece of cake either. It seems like for you in particular, life keeps throwing in one wrench after another. It always finds ways to make your sweets bitter. The cherry on top is Jeon Jungkook — a rival with a sensitive sweet tooth who always finds ways to complain about you.

➜ Warnings: Heavy mentions of sexual themes.

cr.

Fuck romance. That shit is overrated anyway. Everywhere you look, there’s love here and there — in television shows, movies, advertisements, short stories, novels. But it hits you like a train, like a light switch that finally turned on in your head, you don’t need love to be happy. You don’t need someone else. You’re perfectly content with being by yourself for the rest of your life. You’ll never have to shackle yourself down or compromise again. It’s the ultimate freedom. “I approve this message.” Aeri nods several times. “Right?!” You wipe away the cheeto dust that’s accidentally sprinkled on the pouch you call your stomach. Your sweater’s ridden up as you’re slumped over her bed. “Like do people even realize that almost half of marriages end in divorce?” “Exactly.” “Love? It’s all trash feelings. It’s a distraction. Why should I have to work hard for years and then throw away my career and ambition to stay at home and have kids and then eventually be divorced and have to fight over custody?” There’s a bitter taste in your mouth and you shake your head. “Men ain’t shit.” “Hallelujah.” You don’t believe in love anymore, not when you’ve come to realize that you’ve been brainwashed for so long. Now, you were enlightened. But you just can’t believe you were so blinded and stupid in the first place. You were crying over a guy who wasn’t worth shit. “But where are you going?” Aeri is dressed up in a summer outfit despite it being the end of February and still frigid outside. She looks at herself in the mirror, fixes her lipstick and then whirls around. “Oh, I’m just...meeting up with Hoseok.” “You’re going on a date?” A blush creeps up on her cheeks. “N-No. W-Well...he didn’t really call it that.” “Oh my god, all my friends are leaving to the dark side.” “Just for a little, love.” She winks at you and you can’t hate her when she’s so evidently excited. Aeri grabs her bag and smiles. “Well I shouldn’t make him wait. How do I look?” “If Jung doesn’t cream himself, he doesn’t deserve you.” The tips of her ears turn scarlet and she throws a pillow at you, making you laugh. You watch Aeri leave and then the silence settles. You sigh and get up to go to your only friend left. Your fist pounds on his door for a good second until it opens. “Jesus, try not to break it down, will you?” “Hey, Yoongi,” you greet the person on the worn sofa, brushing past Jungkook. “Where’s the other guys?” “Well, unlike you two, people actually have their own lives,” Jungkook mutters, flopping down to where his butt’s been imprinted into the couch seat and he resumes his game. “Taehyung and Jimin are in class like good students,” Yoongi says, “and I’m only here cause Hope’s ditched me for a lame date apparently.” “Same.” “Is my room a refugee camp?” Jungkook glances over with his brow cocked. “Am I everyone’s second choice?” “Get used to it,” Yoongi mutters, watching Jungkook play. In the meanwhile, you walk over to Jungkook’s bed that’s sloppily made with the covers wrinkled, but at least the effort shows. You’re about to flop down and maybe roll over to take a nap, but then you pause, gawking at his collection of IU merchandise. You’ve seen it before, but you realize you’ve never gotten a good look. There are posters of her from when she debuted in 2008 until the most recent comeback lining the corner of his wall like a small shrine. And over his bed is a shelf of albums and her lightstick. “Wow, you have a lot of her stuff. Must’ve costed a fortune.” It occurs to you that he even had a substantial amount of IU things in his room at his parent’s home — little things that you didn’t pay mind to at the time — a sweater that was on a hook, more albums, some DVD sets, posters of her in her dramas. Your comment seems to trigger a reaction from him. Jungkook pauses the game and those bambi eyes of his are rounded. He’s defensive. “What?” “He’s got a massive hard on for her,” Yoongi snickers. “Don’t talk about Jieun like that.” You steal a glimpse of Jungkook, rather puzzled over his hobby. You just never expected Jeon Jungkook to have an idol, or rather, celebrity crush. “Why do you like her so much?” He looks like he doesn’t even know where to start. “She’s just so...talented.” “Oh, here we go again.” Yoongi rolls his eyes. “Shut up,” Jungkook spits and then turns to answer your question seriously. “Her voice is beautiful, she’s good at singing, she can play guitar, and she’s really cute. She produces a lot of her music too. And her personality is great. She’s kind and funny. She donates a lot and stuff like that.” Jungkook shrugs. “I just like her.” “Yeah I get it.” You nod while staring into IU’s eyes. “She’s pretty hot and cute. I’d do her if given the chance.” His big nose wrinkles. “You act like you don’t have any celebrity crushes either.” “True. If Song Joongki walked through the door right now, I would throw myself at his feet and he could do whatever he wants with me. He’s so handsome and such a sweet guy.” You sigh wistfully, wishing you had someone like that. “Do you have any celebrity crushes, Yoongi?” “What’s her face from the Notebook.” “Rachel McAdams?” “Yeah, her.” “Okay, I can see that. Jungkook!” “What?” “Would you smash or pass Rachel McAdams?” He wrinkles his nose again. “Smash, I guess.” “You guess.” A scoff comes from your throat. “What? You think you’re too good for her?” “No. She’s just okay.” “You’re wrong,” Yoongi deadpans, making you laugh. You ask— “Okay, how about Sana from Twice? Smash or pass.” “Smash.” — “Pass.” Both you and Yoongi look at him with brows raised and you audibly gasp. “Dude, even I would smash her. Why would you pass? She’s cute and hot. Isn’t that your type?” “No.” Jungkook snorts. “You don’t know my type.” “Okay, so who would you smash then?” “I don’t know. Maybe Gong Hyo Jin. That main girl from Master’s Sun.” “Seriously?” Jungkook glances over. “Why?” “No, she’s pretty and really girl-next-door-ish. She’s just older, like twenty one years older than us.” “Yeah, well, she’s good at what she does. She’s a good actress.” Apparently being good at what they do is enough for Jungkook to want to bang them. It’s a juvenile game, but a fun one. And it’s particularly interesting to hear both Yoongi and Jungkook’s responses. They’re unpredictable, unlike Taehyung who you’re sure would say yes to anything as long as it breathed, and Jimin who would be too shy to answer. “How about people we know? Byun Baekhyun.” “No.” Yoongi answers right away. “He’s so loud, he gives me a headache.” “If you find him annoying, it makes for good hate sex.” “Sure. But that’s still a no.” “Okay then, who would you say yes to?” “I don’t really swing that way but if I were to give it a shot, maybe Kim Jongin, just so he can teach me how he gets the ladies.” “Word,” Jungkook mutters, concentrating on his game. “Or maybe Lee Ken,” Yoongi points out. “His face looks good enough for me to spit on.” “That’s disgusting.” Jungkook wears a distressed expression, looking at you as if to ask if you’re hearing the same things he is, but you merely laugh. “Trust me, Ken’s a screamer. Jin told me about it when they shared a room during their first year.” You don’t notice how Jungkook pauses his game at the mention of your ex. He stares at you from across the room, on the edge of his seat, but you don’t have a trace of sadness on your features. “He’ll burst your eardrums. He’s a loud dude.” “No thanks then.” Yoongi hums and bluntly considers, “Maybe Seokjin then. He’s pretty good looking. Looks spitable.” You smile softly. “He’s too nice for you, Yoongi.” You recall the faded memories with Seokjin, but they don’t make you feel so sad anymore. Your heart doesn’t ache as much. It makes you wonder if this is what it means to move on. // The cardboard box is in your lap as you study the small trinket in your hand before tossing it in. Everything that Jin ever gave to you, anything that’s associated with him, sweaters and tokens, key chains from amusement parks and stuffed animals he gave is thrown in the box or stuffed in a trash bag. “I wonder if I’ll ever regret giving this stuff away.” “Maybe, but you’ll always have new stuff and new memories and all that.” “Yeah.” You remind yourself that you’re just making space for the new memories you’ll make — maybe with Aeri, maybe with Taehyung and Yoongi, Hoseok or Jimin, or Jungkook, or just by yourself. Jungkook helps you put away the stuff, asking every once in a while if you wish to discard a certain object. You had asked for his help, afraid you would chicken out, and you promised him that in return, you would buy him a meal. It seems like you owe a lot to Jungkook these days. You donate it all before deleting all of Seokjin’s contact information on your phone. The pressed rose he once gave you on your first date and the first note he ever passed you in class is thrown away too. Finally, you’ve severed your ties with Seokjin once and for all. It’s a bittersweet moment, like sugar mixed with coffee. Not quite sweet but not quite bitter. The room seems emptier, but it’s welcoming. “So where are you going to treat me?” Suddenly, a light bulb flicks on inside your brain. Your entire face lights up and Jungkook notices, shifting on his spot in discomfort. It’s never good when you have ideas. “I think I know something better we can do.” “Better than eating?” “When was the last time you ate some pussy, Jeon?” Jungkook chokes on his spit. He wheezes. And pounds his chest. Jungkook’s doe eyes look at you in horror like he’s been personally violated. “What?” You repeat the question and he makes a strangled noise like he’s absolutely disgusted talking about this with you. “Are you ten? Answer the question.” “I don’t know! Maybe like over a year ago,” he rambles in a breath, “I dated a girl named Olivia for a few months but then it didn’t end up working out, so we broke up.” You put your hand on your friend’s shoulder, squeezing securely while nodding once. “I think we're both deprived of some good pussy and cock.” “So what do you propose?” He doesn’t know where you’re going with this. “We go to a club and get ourselves some one-night stands.” “That’s a terrible idea,” Jungkook spits without even needing to think. It’s instinctive. Impulsive. Like he knows not to squeeze a lemon into his eye, to not touch his crotch area after handling chili peppers, to not take toast out with a metal fork. “Why not?” You shrug. “Some low-level commitment, no love or strings attached sex. We don’t need relationships to keep us satisfied and we don’t need to keep...you know handling it ourselves…” Your hand makes a rounded circle and you thrust back and forth obscenely, wiggling your brows, and it makes Jungkook groan. “Oh my god. Please stop.” “Listen, I’ll be the best wingwoman you’ve ever seen. I owe you, right? So I’ll find you the best fuck of life and then I’ll find my own. I see this as an absolute win-win.” “It’ll be fun,” you insist and then pout when he continues to glare. “If you’re not coming, I’ll go by myself.” “You’re not going by yourself,” Jungkook says. “Why? You can’t tell me what to do. What are you, my dad?” “Why? Because you’re an idiot. If I see you on the news, I’ll never be able to forgive myself….” You scoff and he continues. “—for being best friends with such an idiot…” “Are you coming or not, jackass?” Jungkook sighs. // It’s spontaneous. One moment he’s in your dorm room and the next blink, there are strobe lights flashing around, sweaty bodies, and deafening music. The alcohol on his tongue is certainly not enough to make him feel remotely sane. Jungkook didn’t even have enough time to drag Taehyung, Jimin, Hoseok or Yoongi over. You told him that it was a two man mission and any more people would only serve as a distraction to the main goal. He’s not sure what you think that goal is. Jungkook isn’t really a one-night stand kind of guy. “Hey!” You scream in his ear above the booming beat, making him wince. Your breath is stained with that tequila. “What do you think of her?!” You point to a girl dancing on the floor. “She’s got a great ass!” He internally sighs. “Why don’t you go fuck her then?!” “What?” Your voice strains above the music. “Go fuck her!” He points. You frown, lips lopsided. “You want to suck her?!” Jungkook’s last two brain cells are about to die. “Never mind!” “What?!” He shakes his head and then you giggle. Jungkook wonders if you’re just fucking with him, but before he can even react and perhaps punch you, you’re leaning over the bar, waving your arm towards the bartender. “Excuse me! Can we get two shots again?!” Of all the shit you make him go through, he’s hoping you don’t get drunk. He can’t carry your ass back to the dorm. His back is too precious for your idiocy. The two of you down the alcohol given to you and he shudders after. The taste is sharp and beginning to dull his senses. You can feel it too, how the world is spinning faster and that’s when you begin, clasping your hands together. “Alright!” You lean in close to talk into his ear, breath skimming against his neck. “Let’s get down to business, Jeon. Anyone caught your attention yet? How about her?” You signal to a busty girl sitting alone at the bar. She’s in a tight, red dress with her lips matching the same crimson shade. Her black hair contrasts the boldness, cascading down her back in waves. Jungkook looks and then glances at you. “Not re—Hey! Where are you going?!” You strut with drunken confidence, sliding up to the girl with plans to be the best wingwoman on this planet. “Is it always this noisy?” The girl turns her head and visibly relaxes to see another female and not a greasy dude. “Well, it’s a club. So yeah, it usually is.” “I’m just not used to it.” You sigh and take a seat on the stool. “Know any good drinks?” “Chardonnay’s pretty good,” she tells you with a friendly, open expression. “Usually wine sucks at bars, but it’s pretty good here.” “I’ll order it then,” you muse and extend your arm with a grin. “I’m Y/N.” “Hyuna.” She shakes your hand, red lips curling. “Can you do me a favour, Hyuna?” You point across the bar to Jungkook. He’s frozen. Watching you in horror like you’re trying to seduce his mom or something. You wish he’d wipe that stupid fucking expression off his face. It’s not helping. Frankly, it ruins his looks and for once he’s not in gym shorts or sweatpants. Jungkook’s dark hair is gelled back, black dress shirt and black trousers fitted to his muscular frame. It took so much nagging to get him dressed up, but it was worth it. If he didn’t look so dumb, you would be proud of your best friend. “My poor friend here really likes you, but he’s pretty shy. If you said hi, I’m pretty sure it would make his entire night.” Hyuna gazes at him and her smile only widens. “I’d be happy to help.” “Great!” You slide off the stool, strutting back. Inside your head, you are screaming for joy that you actually pulled that shit off on the first try without getting a drink thrown in your face. Maybe you should consider switching career paths. Jungkook leans in close to you when you’re in earshot distance. “What the hell are y—” “Jungkook, this is Hyuna. Hyuna, this is Jeon Jungkook.” Her hips sway as she approaches him and she extends her hand. “Hi, nice to meet you.” Jungkook shakes it with a polite smile, trying to diminish the awkwardness and attempting to be civil. In the meanwhile, Hyuna’s cat-eyes sweep him up and down, focusing on how his pants are tight around the meat of his thighs. Her perfume fills your senses. “Nice to meet you.” You stick your nose between them. “Jungkook goes to baking school, so he knows how to knead dough! He’s really good at it!” You grab his wrist, pulling it up in front of her eyes. “Look at his hands!” “Oh god, shut up.” If there was enough light in the room, you’re sure his face would be beet red. But unbeknownst to you, Jungkook’s embarrassment is second-hand. He takes his own hand back and looks at the stranger. “I’m so sorry for her behaviour. She’s obviously drunk.” “I’m not!” You’re just….happier. A little giddy. On an energy high. Hyuna giggles and looks between you both. “Are you two togethe—” “No.” Jungkook cuts her off and is truly thankful his relationship with you isn’t like that. He can barely handle you as a friend. Anything more would frankly be overwhelming. “We aren’t.” “Oh, okay, cool. I thought this was going to be a threesome situation.” Jungkook starts wheezing as you giggle. You put your hand on Jungkook’s shoulder and squeeze. “Oh no, he can’t keep up with me. Not for miles. Anyway, I’ll leave you two at it. I should probably go to the bathroom, gotta take a leak.” “Y/N.” Jungkook calls after you. “Y/N! L/N Y/N!” He shouts after you, tightening his fist and wondering if you actually have the outrageous audacity to leave him behind like this with some chick you picked up like you just went grocery shopping. But much to his dismay, you don’t even glance behind you. You dive into the sweaty bodies, disappearing from sight. He groans internally and turns back to Hyuna. She smiles at him. “So you bake?” “Yeah, well, I’m in this pastry program.” “Wow.” Her thick lashes bat. “That’s so impressive! So you can make whatever dessert you want?” “Working towards it.” He smiles meekly. “Are you, uh, here by yourself?” Jungkook has never done this before, never talked to a girl like this — but so far it’s not bad. Probably because it was her who was salvaging the conversation and lessening the stiffness. “It’s actually one of my friends’ birthday today, so we’re just out celebrating, but I lost them in the crowd.” She flashes a million watt smile. “I assume you’re just with your friend, Y/N?” “Yeah, she dragged me out here. She’s a headache. I swear she’s shaving years off of my life.” Hyuna laughs and bats his arm. She leans close and he swallows hard at the way her eyes sparkle, her lashes thick, and her cleavage is practically shoved in his face. “Want to dance?” “I don’t really…” “It’ll be fun. Trust me.” She takes his hand and drags him out on the floor. In the meanwhile, half across the club, you’re dancing to the music. It’s not until a second later that you feel someone's hands on your waist and you turn around in their arms. In dark lights, you make out a half-decent looking guy. “Shake that ass, babe.” You smile at him, looping your arms around his neck. Maybe this is how it was always supposed to be. Giving into temptation and the heat of another person’s body, not having to commit to someone else and put yourself out there. Maybe you were doing it all wrong to begin with. You don’t even know his name, but you dance with the stranger, your sweaty bodies moving against one another. You’re not sure how long it lasts, but eventually he presses his crotch to your front and offers to buy you a drink through a whisper in your ear. When you get to the bar, you don’t see Jungkook and Hyuna anymore and you wonder if he’s getting lucky in the washroom or if he’s gone completely. But you try not to dwell on what your best friend might be doing. You focus on the present moment and order a Strawberry Daiquiri. You’re sipping your drink as you talk to the guy. You don’t exactly catch his name, but it doesn’t matter. The fewer connections, the better. After all, you’re just looking for a rebound. But you’ve never done this before and in your nervousness and intoxication, you end up on a tangent. “Like it’s so easy to make better cheesecake! And there’s so many kinds of cheesecake.” “Cheesecake?” The tall blonde frowns as if he doesn’t understand what you’re talking about. “Yeah! Cheesecake! All you need is the crust, cream cheese, sugar, eggs, sour cream, vanilla extract, and all-purpose flour! My favourite is actually chocolate cheesecake in a restaurant back at home and they had chocolate wafer crumbs in the crust and it was so delicious, must have had ganache between the layers or something. I can’t remember anymore.” “Oh, cool.” The guy glances around, looking at the other people on the dance floor and the bar. When he realizes you’ve stopped talking, he directs his attention to you again. “Uh, what’s a ganache?” “Ganache? It’s just chocolate and heavy cream and you can use it as a glaze, icing, sauce, or filling for pastries. You’ve probably had it before if you’ve had chocolate cake!” “I see.” His eyes flicker down to the swell of your chest exposed by your small black number, and they linger there. “You ever tried pouring chocolate over your body?” “What?” You realize he doesn’t care about baking — he doesn’t care for what you have to say. The guy excuses himself to the bathroom and never comes back. After ten minutes of waiting, you sigh and check your phone. You stand up, ready to leave as it occurs to you one-night stands aren’t really your thing. You’re about to text Jungkook, but you catch his mop of hair on the dance floor. He’s dancing with Hyuna, her back pressed to his front. His hands are placed on the dips of her waist, grinding his front against her ass that’s pushed out. You make a face of disgust before snapping a blurry picture and sending to the group chat. But Jungkook seems to be having fun, out of breath, but still enjoying himself. You’re happy for him, glad that at least one of you is getting lucky tonight. Or rather, it was Hyuna getting lucky. Jungkook’s a great catch. You wonder why you didn’t realize it sooner. Whoever ends up with him will be fortunate.

#bts fanfic #bts scenario #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fluff #jungkook scenario #bts fluff #sugar and coffee #bts baking AU #jungkook baking AU #honestly I think this is a hilarious chapter #:D

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