#same w felix and hyunjin to a point

[asakurahaos]

im impressed by han stans ability to assign every singing part to han, say theyre absolutely obsessed with his voice and high notes and the way he sang it was sooo special... except han is not the one singing?? and its always the loudest ones, who cant stop showering han with love and compliments.. how can you say you love him but not recognize his voice? and even if you cant recognize or arent sure whos singing, its not shameful to ask who it. its actually better to ask than just randomly assign it to your favourite member 🤦‍♀️

[sanakimohara]

[ CHERRY POPPER ] H. H.

[ A/N ]: A redo because I refuse to let this account flop!

[ SUMMARY ]: request; “Shy/quiet/innocent/virgin (idc which one) reader texting bsf felix (or whoever you choose) about having a crush on hyunjin, and him seeing it and deciding to do something about it (nsfw?)…” - anonn

[ PLAYLIST ]:

[ WARNINGS ]: NSFW + SMUT + MDNI + PERV HYUNJIN + FEM READER + VIRGIN READER

Cherry Popper Hyunjin hardly believes anything Felix says when he's drunk. However, he pays more attention when the younger rambles about you - one of the many friends he’s made in the first year of college. You’ve met him more than once, and despite matching Felix’s hyperactive personality, you seem oddly shy around him. You talk quite a lot, but the instant Hyunjin makes his presence known, you zip your lips and cave in on yourself like the world is swallowing you whole. According to Felix, you’re a homebody by nature, and you never go out unless he drags you by the hand and promises to be a buffer between you and the hazards of socializing with strangers. You’re deeply in love with playing old vinyl records to dance to, read, or sleep. Felix thinks you’re old-fashioned and too old of a soul to understand his modern references and jokes, but Hyunjin envisions you differently. He notices the flutter of your lashes when you look at someone speaking, your patience, and your sweetness. He listens to your giggle when Felix reminds you to stop dazing off randomly, asking what’s on your mind. You nearly tune him out when Hyunjin is around

Cherry Popper Hyunjin admires the blush on your cheeks as a smirk tug at his lips, watching relief wash over your face when he stays silent and diverts Felix’s curiosity elsewhere. You're too adorable not to help out of an awkward situation, and that gracious smile on your face goes straight to his head.

Cherry Popper Hyunjin poured Felix two more glasses of soju, pushing him to the point of drunken oblivion, enduring his endless joking until he slumped on the couch and completely dozed off with his phone lying face down on his chest. Hyunjin debated whether to take it or not, knowing that Felix rarely minded when he or their other shared companions used his phone for a quick search on the internet or to text another acquaintance. However, neither option was on his mind when he finally plucked the device from Felix’s limp hand.

One peek at your messages wouldn’t hurt anyone.

Cherry Popper Hyunjin does more than scan over your texts with Felix. He sits up straighter on the couch, reading them with shameless interest. Your messages paint a wild picture of what you think of him, and he can't get enough of reading it. When Felix brings up Hyunjin, you gush, brushing off his obvious prying to know if you like the older. He stands, restless and buzzing with alcohol-induced energy, as he scans higher into the conversation. He abruptly stops when a particular section catches his eye.

“I mean, yeah, I’m a virgin, but there’s nothing wrong with that, right?..”

Cherry Popper Hyunjin sinks his teeth into his bottom lip harder than he meant to, pants tightening around his crotch as the word echoes in his head.

Virgin virgin virgin…

She’s a fucking virgin…

Cherry Popper Hyunjin shuts his eyes, locking Felix’s phone again before letting a sigh so long his chest burns from the gradual lack of air. No wonder you couldn’t even look him in the eye when he greeted you. It all made sense why you’d keep your legs closed no matter your position. The apparent stares you raked over him when you thought he wasn’t looking had a purpose. He could only begin to imagine what happened in your pretty head when he was around.

Why did those big eyes of yours gloss over so quickly when he spoke to you, barely touched you, paid attention to you?

Did you touch yourself to the thought of him, working yourself up with the fleeting interactions you two had, covering those same pretty fingers he’d feel on his back when you hugged him in your slick?

Hyunjin hoped you did, and he could imagine you doing it for him on command like any desperate and painfully infatuated girl would when their innocent crush spiraled into desire. You just had to be that cutest whore, all alone in your room or wherever you could manage it, pleasuring yourself to keep from making a complete mess in your panties the next time you saw him.

Cherry Popper Hyunjin presses his head back into the nearest wall dragging his consciousness from the fantasies of you and your virgin cunt and into distorted logic. He sets Felix’s phone aside, carefully rising from his seat, double checking that the blonde doesn’t stir awake before snatching the fourth half-full bottle of Soju off the coffee table. One sip numbs his tongue again, and a second steels his overconfidence as he strides down the hall towards Felix’s room. You’ve been asleep there for at least an hour, tired from trying to keep up with either of them in a drinking game and needing to wind down alone before joining them again. Felix believed you, growing childishly but waving you off as you scampered to his room, leering out drunken giggles as he shouted for you not to search for his gaming snacks when you arrived. Hyunjin suspected different of your excuse to leave their company. You couldn’t sit still; you sat between him and Felix, who regularly ended up on the floor, leaving you closer to him instead. Twice, he’d brushed his hand over your thigh. First, by accident, after handing you a bottle to open, and second, on purpose, when you leaned into him in a fit of laughter, Felix droned on about a professor you hated. You barely flinched from his touch, laughter dying down immediately, and your head resting on his shoulder as you stared at him dreamily.

“Am I too close?..”

Cherry Popper Hyunjin noticed your mischievous smile and the wheels turning in your head as you whispered your question. His cheeky smile made it clear that your inquiry was far from innocent, and it seemed like you were successfully breaking down his defenses. Without much thought, he glanced at your lips and, in a calm voice, said, "No. Come a little closer if you want... I don’t bite." It was an invitation, and you seemed poised to accept it until Felix suddenly sat up from the floor. Nervous, you shifted away from Hyunjin, redirecting your attention to the younger member, who was too drunk to notice the blush on your cheeks.

Cherry Popper Hyunjin dwells on the interaction even after you slam Felix’s bedroom door shut, the sound of its lock never echoing from the hall, and he’s grateful to find the doorknob twists in his grasp now.

Cherry Popper Hyunjin shuts the door behind him as quietly as possible, eyes fixed on your sleeping form splayed across the bed. The puffed sleeves of your vintage printed romper sliding off your shoulder, high-waisted jean shorts riding up when you snuggle closer to the covers, and your dark red thigh stockings unmoved despite your tossing and turning. Hyunjin watches, tongue slipping out to catch the taste of alcohol on his lips as he eyes the way your back arches as you huff in restless frustration. It’s been a laughable sight to anyone else: your commitment to comfortably lay in the oddest position, but Hyunjin couldn’t imagine a better advantage for himself. You groan quietly, muttering in your sleep, but not audibly aware of another person moving around the room. The soft clink of a bottle on Felix’s gaming desk is distant. The shuffle of feet nearing the end of his bed was even quieter. And the sound of a belt unbuckling is comparable to white noise in your head. You can’t be bothered to startle awake in the middle of a reoccurring dream, caught up in tracking the details of what a specific cock would feel like plundering your insides, and intoxicated enough to be drooling over the thought with a fulfilled smile etching its way onto your face.

“Hyun…Jin…”

Cherry Popper Hyunjin isn’t startled to hear you moan his name sleepily, partially focused on the noticeable wet patch forming on your shorts, a thin line of arousal dripping from the fabric with every subtle rut of your hips. He glances at your expression, lazily smiling, when you crack an eye-opening in the middle of your deep sleep. You see him through a haze, not entirely sure if he’s real, but too tired to find out and too drunk to stop the giggle that flies from your mouth when his eyes narrow at you playfully. “Dreaming of me?”

Cherry Popper Hyunjin doesn’t expect you to respond, but you do. You give him a nod, eyes fluttering closed again as you mumble into the pillow clutched in your arms. “Can’t help it…”

Cherry Popper, Hyunjin knows you’re halfway conscious when he puts his hands on your hips, fingers pressing into the waistband of your jeans just enough to get a whine out of you before he hooks them under the material and pulls it down your half-cover thighs and completely off to land on the floor at his feet. You do nothing but sigh in relief, feeling the coarse fabric peel away from your naked pussy, shivering when the air sweeps over your wet folds and gasping as the warmth of his hand cups it. Hyunjin chuckles, stunned to see you void of panties, to begin with, and glad to have one more thing out of his way. He wasn’t too far off with his assumption of you being a secretive slut, your slick coating his fingers as they gently glided back and forth across your sex. “T-that feels…so-“ you cut yourself off, whining into the pillow as the rings on his fingers make excellent impressions against your inner folds, the tips of his index brushing right over your clit as if to flick it but never pressing down. He groans, watching your hips begin to roll, tentative and slow, thighs quivering each time his fingers barely slip into your tight entrance.

“Good…I know, sweetheart…I know,” he finishes the phrase for you, eyes lowering to fun dripping down your legs and trickling around his wrist.

Cherry Popper Hyunjin sets his crotch against your raised backside, needing to be as close as humanely possible to you the moment he sinks his middle finger past your soaked folds. You shudder violently, wanting to run from the singular and slow intrusion of one of his fingers as it barely disrupts your untouched hymen. “Sensitive little thing, aren’t you?..” he coos into your ear, wrapping his freed arm around your waist to keep you from entirely collapsing into the bed as you whimper loudly. The pillow you grip muffled the sound, withholding the string of desperate moans you let out, feeling him slide his index in, adding pressure and strain to your tight walls as you clench down on both his fingers. “Too…too m-much…’ mmm,” you whine in defeat, clawing at the covers as he nuzzles his nose behind your ear, a drunken gesture of comfort translating into a chaste kiss you shiver at. “You can take it, baby…you need to, or you’ll never be able to take my whole cock..” Hyunjin feigns disappointment; lips pressed into a frown, which you only glimpse before your eyes roll in pleasure. His fingers curl forward with intent, reaching for unfamiliar nerves in your cunt repeatedly, and you groan as they find their mark several times. “What are you?…H-hyunjin, what are you d-doing?..” you pant, hips buckling against his hand as he plunges his fingers deeper and deeper, exploring your pussy for all it is.

Cherry Popper Hyunjin gets lost in the feeling of your walls swallowing his fingers whole, the ridge of his bulky rings sliding against your insides so quickly he was sure they’d slip off from how wet you’d made them. Your constant writhing and grinding on his hand caused your ass to press back into him consistently. His cock twitched every time, solid against his thigh and unbearably sensitive. Your moans coming quicker, louder, more forcefully as your insides curled with heat worsened his patience. You were so close; he could feel the strain in your cunt building, how sloppy your walls had become around his fingers, cum drenching them and pooling on his palm. You breathed heavily, your head lifted inches from the pillow, your eyes watered, and your lips fell into a dreamy smile.

“More…please…more Hyunie…” you plead quietly, stomach doing flips as your drowsy state shifts into pure joy. “Want more…”

Cherry Popper Hyunjin forgets the idea of seeing you cum on his hand, the effects of drinking for two hours straight and seeing you on all fours, begging, cunt sufficiently spread to his liking all twisting a knot in his gut he knew one way of unraveling. “Fuck this..” he snaps, drawing his hand away, jaw locked to surprise a self-serving smile as he hears you whine pathetically, unwrapping his arm from your waist to pin you on your side. “Hyunie…!” You squeak in surprise, face flushed as you stare up at him in wonder, strands of your hair sticking to your sweaty cheeks. He says nothing to you at first, hands grasping your ankles and pulling until your right leg gingerly rests on his shoulder while the other is pinned to the bed. His nails dig into the cherry red stockings wrapped around your left thigh, hand pressing it firmly against the covers at an angle that leaves your pussy wide open for his view.

Cherry Popper Hyunjin causally glides his right hand into his pants, staring fixed on your awed face as he frees his cock. Seeing the phallic muscle up close and personal, your eyes widen, how it fits perfectly when he runs his hand up and down the slender girth. A low whine tickles your throat, watching him pump the leaking tip, adding to the slick you left on his fingers and trickling down onto his pants when he lets go to grip your right hip. “Mmm…mph…” you shift away from it, a fearful haze in your eyes as he holds you still and nudges the fleshy head of his cock to your puffy and slick folds. “‘ts N-not going to fit-“ you start to protest, a little afraid of having more than his two fingers buried in you.

Dreaming about it and feeling it was a contrast you’d barely begun to conceptualize until now.

Cherry Popper Hyunjin slaps your thigh, a gentle infliction of pain that draws your eyes back up to his face, “If it’s too much, I’ll stop, but…” he trails off, gaze lowering as he presses his hips forward, gently plunging the head of his cock past your folds. You swallow a moan, back arching as he inches in a bit more, hips rocking at a controlled pace, and his voice quiet but steady as he continues, “You’ll try to take all of it for me, yeah? Give me all of your pretty little pussy before anyone else has it like a good girl?..”

You nod eagerly, eyes fluttering, mouth agape as breathy moans fall from it. “Y-yes…Hyunie...”

Cherry Popper Hyunjin exhales heavily, hearing you confess so quickly, eyes stuck on the view of your creamy folds spreading open around his shaft as he sinks into you. A swift gasp leaves you as he fills you up with a solid rut of his hips. The base of his cock firmly placed against your swollen clit, a burning stretch quickly fading in your walls as he barely pulled back before plunging in again, adding an inch to his detachment with every thrust until you could take his cock with minimal resistance.

“So full…” you exhale, damp thighs trembling each time he snaps his hips down into yours. Another coil pulled tight in your stomach the instant his head nudged your sweet spot, every ride of his cock brushing past the sensitive nerves you were beginning to realize could have a mind of their own.

Cherry Popper Hyunjin raises his head, proud to see your eyes clouded over and drool dripping from the corner of your lips. Your breasts beg to slip from your top, nipples perky against the thin cream fabric, and reach a hand to palm one. You arch into his touch more, head pressing back into the pillow, drag your top down to free them both, tossing your leg off his shoulder to fix your posture underneath and give him the freedom to lean over you wholly.

Cherry Popper Hyunjin stops your hands before they reach him, sliding his fingers through yours and pulling your hands above your head as he lowers to your breasts. You didn’t fight him, too caught up in the feeling of his cock bullying it way past your suffocating inner walls. Hyunjin flicks the tip of his tongue over your left nipple, sucking it just once to hear you stumble over a breathless moan. Your legs lock around his waist on instinct from the fleeting friction, eyes half open and distant as you stare at him, speaking in a haze he feels himself slipping into with you as your highs near.

“You’ll always…be my first…Hyunie…”

He smiled, groaning out a response without a second thought, “And your last…”

[ A/N ] Thank Lana Del Rey & Beach Weather for this one.

[ AO3 LINK ]:…. N/A

[ BONUS CONTENT + ]

You know life is overrated. I want to be the water bottle in his hand instead… Credits to creator ❤️

[therandompagesblog]

SKZ Mate: Chapter 7

Warnings: Sadistic Hyunjin, vulnerable Chan, vulnerable Jisung

Six long days had gone passed. Y/N had gone into a sub drop on the night Hyunjin and Chan had bitten her but was slowly on the mend. Chan had overworked himself day and night as he helped with Jeongin's training while spending the night watching his omega as he slept on the floor. Seungmin and Felix had decorated their spare room for Y/N to move into but they were not agreeing on how the nest should be to the point that Hyunjin came in and scolded them for making a racket. Changbin had spent most of his days checking on Y/N during the day and cuddling with her, despite her growls and Minho's reminder that she bites. She never did bite Changbin but she did growl the first few times quite harshly when she felt an unwanted presence. Eventually, she settled when she recognised the scent wasn't a threat and allowed him to look after her. Chan did admit he was feeling rather bitter towards Changbin at the moment because she responded to him better, but at the same time, Chan knew there wasn't much he could do since she was in and out of sleep. Chan, however, was forever grateful to his ancestors for not taking her away from him too soon. Jisung was still downstairs and was only visited by Hunjin who scolded him harshly for his insubordination and promised him he would never leave unless he learned his lesson. Of course, Jisung was still bitter and cocky towards the red-haired alpha since he had underlying issues with alpha. Hyunjin knew the younger beta did not like him very much and had a hard time accepting the alpha but that only fueled Hyunjins anger. It didn't help that Hyunjin could now feel all of YN's emotions. Even though she wasn't necessarily conscious the slight pang of emotions would aggravate him.

"Have you still not learned your lesson yet, Han Jisung?" Hyunjins icy voice penetrated Jisungs skin, making the beta snicker slightly out of rebellion. "Nope." Jisung spoke popping the 'p' as he shook his head in defiance. His naked body glistened in the moonlight as he presented himself in front of the alpha with his hands behind his back.  "You are incredibly shameless, Jisung!" Hyungjin shouted, his eyes glowing a deep shade of red.  "Don't be embarrassed alpha. It's okay to not be as big as me. I'm sure Y/N won't mind." Jisung cackled as he watched the alpha turn around to walk up the stairs only to stop. Hyujin's back tightened and his muscles flexed in his arm. The minor movement struck Jisung down causing him to cower in fear. He didn't fully the trust the alphas anger. "Look at me little beta." Hyunjin taunted, making the beta lift his frightened head up to meet his red ones. As soon as they connected, Jisung felt a tsunami of cold emotions causing him to shiver in submission. "If you do get out of here, you are to never go Chan's little omega." "You can't do it that. No. Please hyung." Jisung begged. He was the only one good to the omega. He was the one who decided to get supplies for her. He was the one who picked all of the comforting things. "He can." Chan answered as he came down the stairs. "Alpha please, please. I just want to be her friend. She needs a friend. I promise I won't even corrupt her." Jisung pleaded. His amber eyes started to swell and tears threatened to fall as he held himself. "Did you just lie to me Jisung?" Chan asked, his ruby eyes watching the obnoxious beta. "No lie alpha." Jisung sniffed as he looked down at the floor. "I'm sorry alpha. I'm very sorry. I didn't like seeing her in pain. It hurt. She looked frightened, I just wanted it to stop. I didn't think of the consequences." "Jisung." Chan sighed as he crouched down at the beta, stroking his sweaty hair. "I know you are sorry and I'm sorry me and Hyunjin frightened you, but you have to understand you could have killed her. Look, I won't force you away from her because I know you care about her too but I want you to prioritise your training for a month with Hyunjin." "Yes, yes. I will will work hard." Jisung perked up and the possible thought of getting to see the omega.

Chan nodded, patting his head once more before heading up to his bedroom to check on his omega, to his surprise was sat up and awake. Her brown hair was slightly dishevelled and her grey eyes were more ashy than usual. It made him a tad nervous. This was the first time he was really getting to speak to her and he wanted to do it properly. "Little wolf?" Chan called out as he edged slowly towards her. He could feel her sombre emotions and he wanted to know how to fix them. "You're more unlucky than me," Y/N spoke, a slight scoff falling from her lips. "the leader of Straykids who waited years for his mate gets so disappointed. All because she was a little tainted and a little marked. So disappointing." "Y/N." Chan warned carefully. He didn't like being spoken to like that. "It is true, is it not? You feel disappointed, disgusted in me. No wonder half of you do not like me." Y/N sung. She was irritated, angry and hurt, but so was Chan. "You misunderstand me and you misunderstand them." Chan snapped before heading down the stairs into the woods to phase. Chan's heart ripped into pieces as he felt her rejecting him. She didn't like him. Every time she looked at him she growled or bit his head off. Chan had never felt so insecure. It was like she had such a high opinion of him that was all wrong. Chan didn't know what to do at this point. He felt like giving up on her completely because deep down he didn't have it to force her to submit. He might appear cruel but his omega, he would never force her to like him. Chan shook his head and let out a screech, letting his heart shatter as he cried in his wolf form away from his pack. He would never allow them to see him like this, not ever.

What Chan didn't realise was that Hyunjin had heard the commotion in Chan's room and decided to pay the little omega a visit. He wanted to lay out some things with her because it seemed like none of the other wolves wanted to straighten her out and, well, Hyunjin was Hyunjin. Hyunjin merely wanted to find the root of the problem and he wondered if it was hidden somewhere between the Atteez and Straykids story. "You're not quite getting it are you omega," Hyunjin said lowly as he walked towards her. "Do you really believe Hongjoong is innocent or are you still pretending to be his innocent little omega?" Hyunjin crouched down in front of her placing his hands flat on either side of her on the bed, watching her. His face inches from hers. He knew the effect he was having on her, he could feel it. He was an interrogator for a reason. "You ran away. For what reason huh? You didn't like being his omega?" Hyunjin taunted as he watched her squirm under his gaze, keeping her eyes fixed on his, not letting her leave his trance. "You're not a mute omega. I've heard you speak, so answer the question, or we can play my little game." Hyunjin licked his lips, pressing his forehead against hers as she tried to cower from his gaze. "I left because they wanted me to conceive an apex," Y/N whispered, her voice shaking in fear. "See little omega. It's not such a hard question." Hyunjin taunted as he lifted his head from hers, snapping her out of his trance. "But you're still not telling me why you left." "Hongjoong lied to me. I wasn't his soul mate, him and Wooyoung had lied to me about what I was to them so they could produce an apex. They wanted me to go through the ritual and on that night Jongho let me go so I ran." Y/N answered in shame. "So little omega, why don't you use that smart little brain of yours and think about Chan again? If you outsmarted Honjoong then you are clever enough to know that Chan isn't the Chan you perceived, okay?" Hyunjin got up, folded his arms and looked down at the crying little omega. Hyunjin reached out and took a fist full of her hair, yanking her head up to look at him. His eyes burned into hers before he forced her head back down and left her alone in Chan's room.

[suskz]

Can you write Bang Chan manhandling Felix?

Yours | Chanlix

pairings: Chanlix, (also Jeonglix, mentioned Hyunin and poly!skz)

w/c: 3.3k

t/w: smut ; fluff at the end ; butt plug ; crying ; exhibitionism kink (no exhibitionism) ; kinda fwb i guess?? ; blowjob ; facefucking ; manhandling ; semi-public sex ; mirror sex ; daddy kink (quick, act surprised!) ; slight dacryphilia ; pet names (baby, puppy) ; degradation (and names) ; praise ; coming untouched ; coming inside.

a/n: anon, i don’t know who you are, but just know that I love you. I hope you enjoy!

18+, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Chan can imagine him: sprawled out on the bed, head thrown back, long hair messy against the pillow, eyes half-closed and tear-filled, cheeks and ears flushed, fists gripping the sheets desperately.

He can’t see him, though.

He can hear his sobs, his voice muffled —probably by Jeongin’s hand— his sounds no longer hoarse as they were at first but higher-pitched and whimpery.

He can hear the sound of their bodies slapping together and Felix’s pleas to slow down or go faster, harder. He’s always so indecisive, his baby.

His loud moans are always so difficult for him to hold back —and he’s always so cute trying; tiny hands rushing to cover his mouth, teeth biting his shirt, or his face buried into the pillow—, and everyone in the house can always hear them. Not that they have any complaints.

Like Chan, Minho, and Jisung at the moment, sitting on the couch; the only others in the apartment besides the other two.

They were supposed to be working on a song's lyrics, but it became quite difficult once Felix’s high cries started echoing.

Minho and Jisung made excuses to leave, coming up with something about needing to go shopping because some things are missing at home —nonsense, Seungmin went grocery shopping two days ago. Chan knows full well that they’re just turned on and need to help each other out.

He stays there, seated in front of the coffee table with all the sheets still scattered around, painfully hard in his pants the entire time, until the sounds come to an end, and then Chan has to go, too.

He’s so aroused from hearing all those pretty sounds from the blond and really needs to fuck him, making him go dumb until his brain can’t think about anything but the man on top of him and the only word falling from his lips is Chan’s name.

But he’s just been fucked, and Chan would feel so guilty for having his turn right after. The little one would be so tired.

But what’s to stop him the next day, seeing Jeongin so touchy with Felix?

Chan isn’t the jealous type, and he could never be jealous of Jeongin —besides, Felix isn’t just his, but everyone’s.

But something clicked in him seeing how Jeongin spent all practice sticking as close as possible to Felix: how he hugged him from behind in front of the mirror during the break, how his arm rested on Felix’s shoulders while Minho explained a dance move, or how the blond’s head leaned on the younger’s chest on the couch while the latter had an arm around his waist.

Chan isn’t the jealous type; it’s just that he feels the need to mark him as his, to show the others who he truly belongs to.

Nothing stops him from holding Felix back a little longer in the practice room while everyone else leaves.

Chan’s eyes fixate on the point where Jeongin’s lips meet Felix’s before they part, and Hyunjin seems to be observing the same thing —oh, Jeongin is fucked, literally.

Once everyone is out and the door closes, Felix turns to Chan, who is apparently sorting some papers, “What’s up?”

“I heard you and Jeongin yesterday, while Minho, Jisung, and I were trying to work on the song.” He says directly, and he can feel Felix’s eyes widen, even if he can’t see him.

“U-uh, I’m sorry,” the younger fidgets with his fingers. “I couldn’t keep my voice down.” He says in a lower tone, embarrassed and guilty for having disturbed them.

Chan turns in his direction, and when he sees the blond, his eyes seem to darken. He steps closer, “You know, we couldn’t get anything done yesterday, because of the noises.”

Felix is about to apologize again, but he’s interrupted, “You got me so hard I couldn’t concentrate anymore.”

These words go straight to the younger’s cock, which twitches with pride at knowing he had aroused Chan.

Chan stops in front of him and threads a hand through his hair, “You need someone to remind you how to behave.” He grabs the long blond strands and pulls his head back.

Felix lets out a moan at the sudden action.

“Slut.” Chan comments harshly, pulling the younger’s face closer to his by his hair.

He notices Felix’s eyes flick nervously to the door for a moment. Chan softens his voice just for a second, “None of the staff will come in for another 30 minutes,” he whispers. “Now get on your knees.” He releases his hair, and Felix drops to his knees.

As he realizes he’s semi-hard in his pants, he hears the metallic sound of a belt unbuckling and a zipper being pulled down.

Chan lowers his pants just enough to pull out his cock, already starting to harden. He holds it in his hand and rubs the tip against Felix’s lips, who looks up at him and sticks out his tongue, just like he was taught.

Chan rests the tip on his tongue and moves his hips back and forth for a few seconds, rubbing himself against the wet muscle. Felix feels so helpless and unwanted, the need to be used growing inside him.

When he pulls back, Felix lets out a whine, “I want to suck your cock, please. Let me put it in my mouth, I’ll make you feel so good-” Felix knows how much Chan likes it when he begs, but he gasps in surprise when his cock slaps his cheek.

“I don’t want to hear any whining out of your mouth, understood?” Another slap, and this time his own cock responds, leaking a bead of precum in his boxers, which now feel so tight.

“Sorry.” Felix apologizes so sweetly that Chan’s eyes soften slightly.

“Spit.” Chan orders, and Felix obediently lets some saliva slip from his lips onto Chan’s cock, which he starts stroking slowly to harden.

Felix looks at him with eyes full of lust, making it impossible for the older man to resist pushing two fingers into his mouth, pressing down on his tongue, going deep enough to reach the knuckles. And Felix doesn’t gag around them, just like a good boy.

Chan’s cock twitches in his hand, and his grip tightens, the sight drawing a moan from his lips.

Felix instinctively moves his head back and forth on the fingers, sucking and swirling his tongue around them, not caring about the saliva dripping down his chin. Because he loves it just like this —wet and messy. This goes on until the  man withdraws his fingers and brings the tip back to his lips, and Felix opens his mouth with his tongue out, eager to have it down his throat but remaining still and patient.

“Fuck my throat?” he asks in such an innocent tone that Chan wonders if it’s possible to sound like that in this situation.

“Oh, I will.” Chan assures before pushing past his lips.

A trembling breath leaves his lips at the feeling of his warm, wet mouth, and he groans as he manages to push it all the way down his throat without any gag reflex.

“Such a good boy, just like we taught you.” Chan praises, stroking his cheek, and Felix leans into his touch.

Felix’s hands are resting on his thighs, itching to touch the older man, but he keeps them in place as he knows he should while Chan begins moving without giving him much time to adjust.

His hips move back and forth slowly, and the wet squelching sounds that the action creates are the only noises filling the silence in the room. Chan moans, tangling his fingers in Felix’s hair and picking up the pace.

Saliva drips from Felix’s mouth down his chin, landing on his pants. Felix moans around his cock, squeezing his legs together as the vibrations from his voice draw a soft whimper from Chan. Felix’s eyes are teary, and he can feel snot ready to drip from his nose.

Felix lets his jaw go slack.

“G-good boy,” Chan finally looks at him. When Felix raises his eyes to meet his, the sight makes Chan groan and thrust harder. “You love having your mouth filled, don’t you, baby?” Chan coos the last words, “Look at you, crying on daddy’s cock. That’s what you get for not keeping quiet.” Felix digs his nails into his thighs through his pants. He knows he must look like a mess right now, but he only cares about pleasing the man in front of him, so much so that he forgets about his own aching erection, trapped in his boxers.

His hands move to the waistband of his pants, ready to pull them down and free his hard cock, but Chan notices and presses a foot over his hands before he can. Felix looks up at him with a pleading expression and whimpers. He feels Chan’s movements slow down.

“Who gave you permission to touch yourself?” His hips stop completely, his cock resting in the warm comfort of the younger one’s mouth.

Felix tries to say something, but his voice is muffled by the cock in his mouth. Chan pulls out to let him speak, trying —and failing— to hide a whimper that Felix hears clearly.

Felix tries to swallow his saliva a couple of times, failing. “I-I wasn’t t-trying to touch myself,” he insists, his voice coming out hoarse. Chan raises an eyebrow, his fingers still threaded through Felix’s blond locks. “I just wanted to p-pull my pants down ‘cause they’re uncomfortable.”

Under Chan’s gaze, Felix feels so small and guilty.

Chan sighs in feigned exasperation. “You can’t even finish one job without needing attention, can you? Such a greedy boy.”

Felix opens his mouth to object, but he doesn’t get the chance to speak as Chan interrupts, “Stand up and strip.”

Felix stands up, hesitates for a moment, but then lowers his pants and places them on a chair, remaining in his boxers and t-shirt.

Chan steps closer to him, lifts his shirt above his chest, and licks a line of skin from his nipple to the waistband of his boxers. Felix’s breathing grows heavier as he feels Chan slowly lick along his inner thigh, lifting the fabric of his boxers to get even closer to his groin, teasing him.

He leaves wet kisses and bites on his thigh, slowly moving behind him, where he lowers his underwear, revealing his ass and a little surprise that makes Chan’s breath hitch.

His mouth trails distractedly up the blond’s back as he straightens. His hands roam over Felix’s hips before moving to his naked ass, where he runs two fingers over the toy nestled between his cheeks.

“And what would this be, hm?” Chan takes it in his hand and begins to move it back and forth slowly, making Felix gasp.

“J-Jeongin made me put it in.”

Chan thrusts it in harder, making Felix moan and bite his lower lip.

“And you immediately obeyed that request. What a filthy boy you are. You love the idea of having your hole full in front of all of us without anyone knowing, don’t you? Acting all innocent around us while hiding such a dirty secret.”

Felix’s breath catches. His mind focuses on the movement of the plug going in and out of him and on Chan’s hand gripping his hip tightly. His eyes look ahead, but he doesn’t really pay attention to the mirror reflecting them.

The plug is suddenly pulled out, making him whine, but is immediately replaced by Chan’s hard cock.

Felix yelps in surprise, and Chan’s hand moves to cover his mouth. His eyes fill with tears again as he whimpers into the hand.

“We have to be quiet. We don’t want to be heard, do we?”

Felix nods obediently, but his untouched cock twitches at the thought that someone might have heard, and Chan notices. “But you’d like that, wouldn’t you, hm?” He starts moving his hips back and forth without giving Felix time to adjust —not that he particularly needs it. “You’d like it if someone walked in on us right now, wouldn’t you? You’d want them to see your fucked-up face from daddy’s cock, huh?”

Felix moans as Chan removes his hand, “Y-yes, daddy.”

“Look at yourself,” Chan says, lifting Felix’s face with a hand to make him look at his own reflection in the mirrored wall, “Look at the slut you’ve become for me. Following orders just like a little puppy, always ready to spread your legs at any moment.”

Both of Chan’s hands grip his hips, holding him steady, and Felix is forced to bend over with his hands on the mirror for balance.

“Letting yourself get fucked even in the practice room,” Chan groans, “Aren’t you ashamed of yourself?” His voice comes out more affected than he’d prefer, hips faltering for a moment.

Felix’s hands and breath fog up the mirror, his face pressed against the surface as his legs tremble with each strong thrust.

He sobs as Chan hits his prostate and whimpers when Chan’s hand smacks his ass hard. His cock leaks precum onto the floor, and Chan needs every ounce of self-control to stop himself from dropping to his knees and licking up every single drop.

“C-Chris, go f-faster, please.” Felix feels like he might cry if Chan doesn’t pick up the pace, struggling to keep his voice down.

“Finally learning to keep your voice down, huh? Good boy.”

Felix’s stomach does a backflip at the praise after all the degradation —not that he minded it at all.

Felix’s legs feel like they might give out at any moment, and Chan notices. His eyes fill with adoration.

“Hold onto me.” Felix doesn’t understand at first, but when he does, he reaches back and grabs onto the older man’s muscular shoulders.

Chan’s hands slip behind Felix’s thighs, gripping them harshly and lifting his legs, bringing Felix’s knees to his chest. Felix moans in surprise and clings to him even tighter.

“Better.” Chan groans and starts moving again, the sweet sounds from Felix’s lips returning as his face twists in a giddy expression, biting his lower lip to stifle the sounds.

For his own amusement, Chan spreads his legs wider. “Look at yourself,” he demands. Felix opens his half-closed eyes to gaze at his reflection in the mirror, but he immediately regrets it as shame washes all over him.

His ears turn even redder, and he tries to ignore the way his stomach tightens deliciously at the sight.

His legs shake with each thrust, and his eyes well with tears, but he can’t tear them away from the pornographic reflection in front of him.

“C-Chan, it’s- it’s embarrassing…” Felix whines.

“But you love it.” Felix quickly shakes his head at the words, sobbing at a particularly hard thrust that hits his prostate. “And yet you keep watching yourself. Look at you, crying on my cock. You’re just so easy to handle.”

Felix doesn’t respond. His eyes are fixed on the way the older man’s fingers press into his thighs. He bites his lower lip, hoping they’ll leave little marks so he can remember this. Not that he’ll forget anyway.

Chan breathes against his shoulder, his soft moans reaching Felix’s ears. Now that Felix notices, Chan seems more affected than he did just before.

The older man has a focused expression, panting as his eyes are glued to the way his own cock thrusts in and out the younger’s stretched hole, the latter’s cock bouncing with each movement.

“Your tight little hole feels so good.” He starts leaving open-mouthed kisses on the other’s neck, “How does daddy’s dick feel? Huh?”

“G-good, feels so good.” Finally, tears start to roll down his cheeks, his mind clouded with pleasure and his body trembling.

“Aw, baby, let go,” Chan breathes, “C-cry for me.” Chan’s cock twitches inside Felix, dribbles of cum leaking from it’s red tip, and Felix sniffles.

“I-I’m close,” he cries, “P-please, I’m gonna cum.” His voice turns urgent and desperate.

Suddenly, Chan brings him back down to the floor, making Felix gasp. He would have fallen if Chan’s strong hands weren’t holding him.

“Oh my god.” Felix moans, his voice high-pitched and eyes rolling back.

Chan guides Felix’s hips, making him thrust back onto his cock, fast and hard, driving him closer to his high. But he won’t give it to him so easily.

Felix closes his eyes, his hands fogging up the mirror. He almost feels sorry for whoever will have to clean it later. “‘M so close, please.”

“Almost.”

Felix cries out, hands reaching for something to grip that isn’t there. He tries moving his hips on his own, trying to get some kind of control.

“Please, Channie, please! Let me cum, please.”

“Hold it.” Chan orders him, choking out a moan from Felix.

“I c-can’t, I need to cum so bad, please, I-I can’t hold it.” Felix pleads, desperate for release.

“Who do you belong to?” Chan asks suddenly. It’s not a question he feels the need to have the expected answer to, but it’s always fun to tease the younger one a little.

“You,” Felix’s voice is shaky as he tries his best to obey and hold it, “Y-you, all yours, b-belong to you!” He says maybe a bit too loudly, but who is he to care at this moment, when all he can think about is the orgasm that’s about to overtake him?

“Is that so?” The sound of skin slapping against skin is louder in the room now, and Chan’s voice tries to remain steady but fails, revealing just how affected he really is.

“Yes! Yes!” Felix cries, his high dangerously close and probably now out of his control.

“Good.” Felix takes this as permission, and immediately he’s shaking and squirming in Chan’s hands, who follows right after, buried deep inside him, as Felix’s cum spurts onto the floor and partly onto the mirror.

They are panting as they come down from their highs, trying to regulate their breaths.

“Still with me?” Chan checks, still holding him by the hips to prevent him from falling to the floor, leaning forward to see his face, which is turned down with his head resting against the surface of the mirror.

“Mhm.” Felix whimpers softly with a heavy breath.

Chan is grateful to always have baby wipes on hand in his bag —as he says, ‘you never know’, and this situation is a perfect example— because it takes him hardly any time to clean them both up, and he even wipes the floor while Felix sits on a chair, despite having insisted on cleaning up his mess himself.

“All done,” Chan says as he stands back up and goes to Felix to toss the dirty wipes in the bin beside him. “The staff will be here shortly, we need to go.”

Felix nods, but before getting up, he pouts his lips, seeking a kiss, which Chan gives him only after imprinting a picture of his cute face looking up at him with big eyes into his mind.

The older man smiles into the kiss, and when Felix feels it, he smiles back, and they both chuckle with their lips still connected.

The younger wraps his arms around Chan’s neck, not wanting to let go and wanting to stay like this even for hours, with his lips against Chan’s soft ones. But they can’t, not right now.

“We’ll cuddle when we get back to the dorms, okay?” Chan promises him.

“No, I want cuddles now.” Felix shows no intention of letting go; in fact, he clings to him even more, burying his face in Chan’s shoulder.

Chan sighs with an affectionate smile and wraps his arms around him in a tight but gentle hold. He lifts Felix up, and Felix wraps his legs around his waist.

Chan grabs his bag and walks toward the exit. “I guess we’ll have to go out like this.”

“At least the others will understand to whom I belong.” Felix teases him with a smirk.

Chan’s ears turn red, and he slaps his butt in admonishment, “Brat.”

[chocotonez]

skz w/ a female ninth member (that’s u. :>)

a/n: I’m so sorry you’ve waited for so long lovie, also sorry there’s like no angst in here because we’re here for platonic fun times

cw/genre: fluff, headcanon format, swearing, very brief mentions of criticism towards reader, vague mentions of intimacy (conversations about consent and boundaries), lmk if anything else should be tagged!

-OKAY WHOOHOO

-first of all I can definitely see them both admiring you and coddling you

-they also love teaching you new things but learning from you too

-like being more exposed to feminine aspects of life if that makes sense? obviously they know self care better than most due to their skincare and hygiene regiments but you make it more interesting teehee

-Chan asks u to help him paint his nails and Han adores when you doodle on his face with makeup/eyeliner/lipsticks

-they also try to learn how to be better from you, being a better person and yknow…be a better man (obvs they know their manners but they go from 10/10 gentlemen to 11/10 gentlemen)

-out of habit seungmin always looks over to you during fan signs when a male fan appears

-same with Chan who triple checks your name on Twitter so he can blacklist anyone being weird, you’re like stray kids’ baby and mother hen at the same time

-always calls ppl out on their bullshit if they treat you differently for being girl, whether it be backhanded comments or straight up underestimating you

-you get a room to yourself and if you guys are hanging out and cuddling they’ll always ask, “hey is this ok?? you okay?”

-hyunjin is very emotionally in tune with you just because that’s how he is, so obvs he understands being scared of living w eight other men so they do their best to make u feel welcome and comfortable :)

-when a member grows out their hair for a comeback you like to braid or decorate it while watching TV

-you always end up teasing members if they get into any sort of relationship scandals or dating scandals LOL

-“so…felix, what are your feelings on *idol name*?” and he’s just blushing at the dining table hehehe

-but they also try their best to be there for you, if you have any feelings for another male idol they’ll give you the 411 on the situation hehe

-backstage seungmin just giving aggressive eye contact at the person of your affections

-“no trust me y/n they’ll receive the request for their number telepathically” “you’re going to get security called on us”

-they consider you family at this point they love you sm

-and they always want you to know that they have your back too like??

-they’ll hype up your fancams and always get rid of your nerves or anxieties

-gossiping with lee know at two in the morning when you both can’t sleep

-watching hyunjin paint and him sketching you in the corner of the canvas

-you’ve just become which an integral part of the family they couldn’t imagine life without you

-you’re not just the “female member” of stray kids, you’re just a member or stray kids :)

-hopefully that makes sense

[ihavethedreamies]

Challenged | Easy to Expert (3 v5)

Lee Yongbok (Felix) & Lee Minho (Lee Know) - Stray Kids

Rating: M (18+) MDNI

Word Count: ~4.1k

Hard Dom!Lee Know/Switch!Felix/Sub!Reader (AFAB)

Genre: Reader-Insert, Smut, Kinda Fluff

!!This is smut…if that much isn't clear you should probably leave now!! MDNI!

Warnings: She/Her Pronouns used, Jealousy, Competition, Swearing, Kissing, Lingerie, Multiple Partners, Some M/M Moments, Oral (M! and F! Receiving), Fingering, Deepthroating/Face-Fucking, Threesome, Double Penetration, Anal Play, Sex Toys - Butt Plugs, Anal Sex, Unprotected Sex (Bad Idea, Don't Do It), Felix is a Bratty/Reluctant Sub (it's not Non-con, he's just surprised)

Author's Note: -)w(- don't ask, I just let my fingers type

-> Series Hub <-

-> Part 1 <-

-> Part 2 <-

-> Ver. I.N. <-

-> Ver. Seungmin <-

-> Ver. Hyunjin <-

-> Ver. Han <-

-> Ver. Changbin <-

-> Ver. Bang Chan <-

I am cross-posting this on Archive and Wattpad. Please reblog! If you know anyone that would like this or future fics but they aren't on here my name and icon are exactly the same on the other sites. Happy reading!

"Do I get to choose her lingerie?" Minho smirked, trying to tease Felix. He wanted to get some kind of reaction from him, he so easily asked the older man to fuck his girlfriend with him, but he just shrugged.

"If you want. I was going to have her dress like a bunny-"

"That works!" Minho smiled, already thinking stuff over in his head.

"So…are there any ground rules?" The older man asked and Felix looked up from his phone. He was texting you that the plan was on.

"Um. Maybe, we'll talk with her. Are you free tomorrow night?"

"I can be free tonight." He smirked, chewing aggressively on his snack.

"Don't you have practice?" Felix looked up at him, he was supposed to help with the rookies he was choreographing for. He shrugged, popping another piece in his mouth.

"I can move the time."

"Okay."

"Tonight?" You halted your chopping knife, looking down at your phone on the counter. You had it propped up so he could see you on the video call and it looked like he was sitting on a swing at a park.

"Is that okay? I know we agreed on tomorrow but he moved his schedule."

"He's eager." You huffed, putting the knife down entirely. There was no point continuing cooking supper if he was coming over, not for what you were making anyway. You only had enough ingredients for you and your boyfriend.

"Will he be here to eat or come later?"

"I don't think he'll want to eat when he gets here, not with what's planned. I'm meeting him later and we'll eat and then come." He brushed a strand of his blonde hair that fell in his face from the wind.

"Okay."

"Did the bunny set fit?"

"Yeah. I'll be read by when, seven?"

"Perfect. Love you." He brought the phone close to his face and you giggled blowing a kiss to him and you hung up. Guess it was a delivery night.

You adjusted your headband, the tall bunny ears attached made your head feel odd when you moved it. You hoped it didn't fall off. The fluffy end of the bunny tail you attached to the silicone plug tickled your skin. The combined corset and bra was a little too nice, you had tie it up in the back. At first you were going to get the cheap one that was kind of shiny, but Felix told you to take his card and get the nicer leather one. There was a matching thong that went with it, but you got a different pair of panties. They had to be crotchless and allow for your tail plug. Looking in the mirror, you smoothed your hair back and tied it up into a bun. The thigh-high fishnets were a bit difficult to get on since the weave was pretty loose, your toes kept getting caught. You debated getting a pair of high heels to finish the look as well, but decided against it. Sure, it would be sexy, but there was a pretty good chance you would twist your ankle or fall and ruin the mood. You debated putting on some lipstick but decided against it, the red would kind of clash with the mint colored lingerie. You were kind of surprised it came in that color, but it seemed you could either get dark like red, black or navy, or get pastel colors. Luckily, they had Minho's favorite color, you always remembered it since it was a pretty unique pick. At first you didn't think the black choker with Felix's name on it would match, but it didn't look too bad. You jumped a bit in excitement when you heard your boyfriend keying in the code for your door and you waited patiently in your room.

"Hyung wait!" You heard Felix shout and you giggled a bit, hearing another set of steps hurrying down the hall. Your door was already propped open, and he nearly slammed it open all the way. Minho stood there, still in his coat and had his bag on his shoulder, at least he took his shoes off. His bag thumped to the floor and you didn't think his coat had even hit the floor too before you were scooped up in his arms. You knew he was strong, but he did it so easily.

"Hyung!" Felix huffed, coming in himself and grumbled, shoving his friend's stuff to the side. You squealed in delight as he kissed you all over your neck and chest, holding on to his shirt to stabilize yourself. Minho's mouth led from your cleavage up to your chin and before he could capture your lips in his, Felix shouted as deep as he could, "Yah, Lee Minho!" This caught both of your attention and he slowly and carefully let you down and you took a step back, looking down shyly.

"Come here, love." Felix's tone was dark and you shivered, scurrying over to him. Minho scoffed, still smirking.

"She is all dressed up for me, isn't she?"

"Keep in mind, she's my girlfriend." Felix emphasized. He didn't care if Minho was older than him.

"What are the rules, love?" Your boyfriend's tone and gaze softened dramatically for you, but his gaze hardened again when he met Minho's stare.

"One!" You held up a finger, then brought it to your lips, "no kissing here." The older man seemed to pout a bit but acquiesced.

"Two!"

"Listen to me." Felix was sure to get pushback on that from. Sure did. Minho rolled his eyes, scoffing again, then shook his head.

"Why should I?"

"Because-"

"I'm his girlfriend." You crossed your arms and his fiery gaze went to you. The look was dominating, even more so than when Felix got rougher with you. Your cunt clenched and the fluffy white tail shook. He smirked when you shrunk some, your arms falling and you placed them behind your back.

"Third…" You started, almost sheepish under the harsh gaze.

"Only I, me, her boyfriend, gets her ass." Felix emphasized. He knew that one would piss Minho off. He was an ass man in all kinds of ways.

"No." The older man sneered and you took a step back. You weren't scared of it, it was incredibly sexy how he was getting and you were nervous for how it affected you.

"Hyung-"

"No." He reiterated and you felt Felix stiffen next to you. It was easy for him to be dominant with you, you were his cute little girlfriend, plus he never went too hard. Minho was extremely dominant even in non-sexual situations. He could also be terrifying.

"Look, I know she wanted you, but if you don't respect that she's mine-" Felix was cut off when Minho suddenly marched forward and buried his hand into Felix's blonde hair, tugging his head back. You startled and Felix wasn't quite sure what to do, so he just stared at this hyung in shock.

"I get to call the shots, 'Lix. You should have known when you asked me." He whispered into your boyfriend's ear and the younger man shuddered a bit, which made Minho smirk. He ran his tongue over the stud in Felix's ear, sucked on it, then let him go and shoved him back. You stood nervously nearby and Minho crooked his finger for you. Looking at Felix as you went forward, Minho pointed to the floor and you slowly sank down. There was no hesitation in your gaze, nor protest, and the older man smirked, biting his bottom lip. You cast a glance over your shoulder at your boyfriend, the ears of your headband bouncing with the movement. He was standing there, red dusted over his freckled cheeks, his hand over his mouth. You glanced down and he was already hard. You startled when Minho's fingers played with the tag on your choker, humming in derision.

"Strip." Minho ordered and Felix snapped his gaze up to the other man's before he removed his shirt and let his pants fall around his ankles.

"Get the stuff." He motioned his head toward your bed and your boyfriend slowly followed the command and you wondered what was going on in his head. Felix got out the lube bottles you had so he could pick. Minho clicked his tongue and went over to the other guy before he could shut the drawer. He smirked seeing everything you had in there.

"Oh, what's this one?" He chuckled and Felix tossed you a look. Are you okay? You nodded in response to his silent question. You shot it back to him and he exhaled and nodded, his cheeks a bit red again. Minho pulled out the item he was eyeing and your eyes flew open. So did your boyfriend's.

"Good boy?" He tossed the younger man a look and his face got even redder, the color spreading to his ears and neck.

"W-we got the wrong one-" You tried to cover but it didn't work. It was kind of a joke when you grabbed it. He had joked that he wanted to see why it felt so good for you so you got matching ones. The 'good girl' plug had obviously been used so it was in your box instead of the original packaging. Minho fiddled with the box, shooting a look to Felix. You couldn't see what Felix did in response since his back was to you. Suddenly, the elder grabbed the orange bottle of lube and placed it and the box in Felix's hands.

"Put it in." He ordered and you looked back and forth between them.

"W-What?" Felix gasped.

"You heard me." Minho spun him around and shoved him toward the bathroom. You looked at Felix again, but he went, shutting the door. You were a bit shocked, and were snapped out of it when Minho's hand went to your head. You hadn't noticed he had removed his own clothes, leaving just his underwear on. Turning to look up at and over him, you admired his physique. He really did look good and you couldn't help but wonder why he didn't show off more.

"Good bunny," he cooed, stroking under your chin, "You thirsty?" You nodded, a little unsure. His hand went from your chin to grab your jaw, his eyebrow raising. You caught his hint and brought your hands up to remove his boxers. Your nails were painted to match your outfit and he couldn't help but watch the white fluffy ball sticking out behind you. When he stepped out of his final garment, you eyed his cock, shuffling in anticipation. You simply opened your mouth, tongue out and he huffed in amusement.

"What a good bunny." He smirked and took the chance. One hand held the base of his cock and the other found your head and you took a deep breath in through your nose and he groaned as he made you swallow his length. When your nose hit his pelvis, you gagged a bit, he was longer than you were used to. Your mouth was so tight and hot, he wondered what your other holes would feel like. It was clear that you were experienced with sucking cock, even more so with getting your face fucked. Your eyes cast to the side when the bathroom door opened back up, and Minho pulled his cock out just enough so you could breathe.

"It in?" He asked Felix. It seemed there a blush covering more of him than not. His underwear was still on, more likely he put it back on, his cock was still hard and tenting the fabric. He nodded once, glaring at Minho.

"Get over here then," He stroked over your hair, still not moving. Felix shuffled over, looking much like you probably did the first time you moved with a plug in. The one he had to wear was smaller than yours by quite a bit, but it was probably still odd. Minho nodded and your boyfriend sunk to his knees behind you and you couldn't see his expression but heard his grunt.

"Fill her cute little cunt for me, 'Lix." He stroked your chin again, marveling at your swollen lips surrounding his swollen cock. You whimpered a bit, but adjusted your position to allow it. Since you did that, Felix knew you were okay. His breathing a little heavy, trying to get used to the plug he had put in himself. It was a really odd sensation and he was loathe to admit not an unwelcome one. He wondered if it felt the same to you or not. He stared at the white fluff on the end of your plug and rubbed the head of his cock against your folds, simply unbuttoning the front of his boxers. He did not want to take them off, still embarrassed. If he really, really was against it, he could have said it, even though Minho was scary. He didn't want to admit how he really felt. You moaned a bit and the elder huffed a laugh before you moaned louder and harder when Felix filled you with a single thrust. He sighed, brow furrowing, the stimulation from your hot cunt around him as well as the plug in his ass, he was sweating already. Minho scoffed and you nearly yiped when he started to thrust again, your eyes nearly crossing. You hadn't yet done anything like this and it was a lot. Swallowing and taking a cock at the same time as the silicone plug… You were in heaven.

"You thirsty, bunny? Want me to come down your throat?" Smirked and you moaned a yes around him. Felix still hadn't moved, trying to get used to all the stimulation.

"Ah, good bunny." Minho threw his head back, holding your head and you clenched hard around Felix's cock, swallowing the thick cum the other man gave you. He chuckled breathily, pulling out of your mouth and you panted hard, trying to get your air back. You gasped as Felix fell back on his haunches, but he lost his balance and he held you to his chest tighter. His teeth sank into your shoulder, he was trying not to moan himself. Never again was he letting Minho do this with you again. And he was throwing away the 'good boy' plug immediately when he was done. Why does it feel good? He grumbled in his own mind.

"Felix?" You asked, worried, wincing a bit from the bite. His cock was already pulsing like he was close and he hadn't even moved. The way he held you jostled your tail plug, but you were used to the feeling and he wondered how long it took you.

"Clean her face." Minho ordered and Felix sat up more, letting out a little groan, and wiped the rest of the cum from your lips. He shot a glare at Minho who nodded once and he huffed, bringing his thumb to his lips to clean it off. He continued to glare at his friend and you were so distracted by their interaction, you yiped when Felix moved again. He laid flat on his back, adjusting his feet, the pumped his hips up hard into you.

"Fuck~" You wailed and Minho could see your cunt drip all over the other's cock. He was a little annoyed that Felix just doing something small got you so close so fast. Felix needed to compensate for the submissive acts Minho forced him into by fucking his cute little love. You had a hard time holding yourself up as he battered his cock against your cervix, your orgasm approaching quickly, as usual.

"Want me to fill you up, love?" He huffed, more confidence present in his voice between grunts.

"Yes~ Please~!" Your stuttering moans pissed Minho off, and he came forward, snatching you under the arms like a child and hauled you off Felix.

"Ah!" You yelped and Felix snapped, "What the fuck, man?" You were literally tossed onto the bed and Felix got up, moving to shove Minho out of the way. You gasped when the older man grabbed Felix by the jaw, easily holding him in place.

"If you hate having that plug in your ass you better shut up before my cock ends up in your mouth." He sneered at the younger man and you gaped, but noticed an extra drop of precum leak out of the tip of your boyfriend's cock.

"You gonna calm down?" Minho finally asked as Felix swallowed hard, then nodded. He pulled back, rubbing at where he had been held.

"H-hey!" There was no fire behind your protest, and it was kind of late, but you had to work up the courage. Both of them turned to look at you and you cowered under Minho's gaze.

"L-let him be!" You tried to be assertive but it was a little difficult for you normally, let alone in that situation. To show your aggression you ripped the headband off and threw it to the floor.

"Bunny, if he hated it so much he would be fighting back more." Minho cast a smug look over the younger man who glared at him, if only to avoid your gaze.

"It's fine, love." He assured you and you wiggled your nose a bit, much like a bunny.

"Move, cutie." Minho finally turned away Felix and you scooched out of the way so he could climb on the bed, resting his back against the head board. He grabbed your hips and drug you to him, making you kneel before him. Your boyfriend stayed where he was, nervous to do something wrong.

"Breathe, pretty." Minho coached and you did so and he pulled the bunny tail out of you and tossed it to the floor, the lube still dripping of it splattering on the floor. He smirked at the sight and you whimpered under his gaze. Grabbing your shoulders, he manhandled you again, making you straddle him, his legs holding yours open.

"Fucking finally~" He cooed, bringing your slicked up pucker to his cock. You whimpered as he pulled you down on to him, your body shook as he went deeper than you were used to. You made sure to keep your breathing controlled to get used to him and you wondered what he would let Felix do. Your empty cunt was on display and still desperately empty after you were plucked from your boyfriend's grasp and cock.

"Taste her." Minho permitted and Felix exhaled, still kind of hating (but also kind of enjoying) being told what to do…with HIS girlfriend. He climbed onto the bed and Minho wrapped his arms around you, one over your chest and the other around your stomach. It wasn't tight or restricting, he was just hugging you. He smirked over your shoulder as Felix eyed where Minho's cock was inside of you. It irked him to no end. He made the rule that only he got your ass for a very specific reason. Well, at least he knew how to make you cum easy. You keened for his fingers when they pressed at your cunt and he slid three in, quick and hard. Your yelped, trying not to clench around Minho too much, and even though it was just his fingers, the double penetration was overwhelming. Plus, Felix normally started with two fingers. The other man was a little shocked when Felix began to fuck you with practiced motion, wiggling his fingers and pressing hard on your back wall. Your breath was already hitching and your cunt was already leaking. Felix smirked smugly, knowing he still had control over you even if his own was taken over himself.

"Ah~" You mewled when his fingers pressed down on the thin wall of your cunt, Minho's cock sitting inside you past the barrier. Even he grunted a bit at the feeling, and, not wanting to be one-upped, he began to roll his hips up, fucking shallowly into you.

"Fuck!" You gasped and Felix bit his lip, eyes flicking to your face. He smirked and it pissed his friend off, but then he leaned down to your cunt. His thumb brushed over your clit and you knew what was coming."

"W-wait~!" Felix could tell your tone was insincere, you were just overwhelmed. His fingers crooked up, easily finding your spot, and after he sucked hard over your little button, you fell apart. The man behind you grunted at the force of your vice clenching around his cock, but was able to hold back. As you panted, coming down from your high, Felix removed his fingers and habitually brought them to your mouth. You eagerly took his digits between your lips, licking your own release from them.

"Good, love." Having nearly forgotten about the toy inside him, Felix winced when he shifted, but was too determined to really focus on it. Not even looking to the elder for permission, he once again pressed his cock into your cunt, filling you easily. Your head fell back against Minho's shoulder, your breath leaving you as you felt both cocks filling you at once.

"Breathe, love." Felix coached and you did so. Your boyfriend smiled, feeling grounded by the trust you had in him and the love behind your eyes. Minho did nothing, still trying to cope with how much tighter you got when your boyfriend entered you as well. Though they didn't coordinate it on purpose, both of the men pulled their hips back at once and fucked back into you hard. Felix smirked as you fell apart again, your cunt releasing spurts of cum. At that angle, your boyfriend could hit your sweet spot perfect, and the added stimulation of his friend in your ass set you over even more. But to Felix, it was more like Minho was a toy you were using to get off. It was ultimately him who got you to cum. Your hands reached up and gripped Felix's shoulders, he guided your hands further and you dug your mint-colored nails into his back. He hissed when you drug new red welts into his skin over ones there from a few days before. His friend didn't like the chemistry between you two at that moment, so he lifted you up as he pulled back, nearly all the way, then slammed back into you. He chuckled at your near scream and Felix was a little worried about you, but he then realized you were just high on cock, your filter gone. You were babbling then and fell back into Minho's chest, pulling your boyfriend with you. He had to rest his hand on the headrest by the other's head for better leverage and their eyes met. Minho smirked which made the younger sneer. You whimpered as they both fucked you, either on their own would have made you stupid, let alone together. You were sure that you would be bedridden for days after this, but you loved every second of it. When Felix leaned over you more, he opened his eyes and was close to Minho then. He was determined to stay strong and just stared at his hyung. Accepting the challenge, the other's arm left you and he smirked, grabbing Felix's butt over his boxers had refused to take off. His fingers spread more, and found the hard end of the plug through the fabric and pushed into Felix. The sound he let out was still low and deep, but was more of a whine then anything. What shocked him more was that the other man swallowed the sound, his lips sealing over his. You were too fucked out to notice and Minho pulled away, grinning like he just won an Olympic medal. Felix's freckled face was painted bright red, staring in shock at Minho. The smirk was still plastered on his face and he pressed the plug into Felix more.

"Cum." He ordered and you were sure if he was talking to you or your boyfriend, but you both listened. Your cunt clenched around your boyfriend's dick, milking him for every drop. The walls of your ass clenching also sent Minho over the edge and he made sure to fuck his cum as deep into you as he could. The three of you laid in a pile, panting for a good minute.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm throwing it out."

"Why?"

"You damn well know why!"

"But you liked it, right?"

The two continued to bicker as you slept, laying on your stomach with an ice pack resting on your sore little butt.

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[blossomwritesthings]

𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭.

pairing: minho x felix (minlix)

genre: nonidol!minho/nonidol!felix. straight (??) minho and gay felix. childhood friends to lovers. some angst. fluff. pining galore. kinda confession au. smut - MDNI, 18+ only. felix pov.

content & warnings: explicit & strong language. mild thematic elements. the angst isn't too strong in this one. sexuality is questioned and destroyed in these parts. felix is pretty down bad for minho in this one. smut warnings below cut!! 

word count: 5.5k

summary: minho has always been straight and felix has always been gay. but after a certain incident happens during a drunken game of truth-or-dare between friends, sexualities and feelings will be thoroughly questioned.

18+ warnings: dom!minho x sub!felix. unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, friends). anal sex/fingering. a blowjob is given. jerking off happens. kinda spit kink??. degradation (slut, whore, fuck toy, etc.). kitchen sex. pet names (baby boy, doll face, etc.). dirty thoughts/fantasies. masterbation. voyeurism. pervy!minho. sex toys (butt plugs, cock rings, vibrating dildos). scratching. LOTS of hair pulling. ownership/possession. cum play. breeding kink (you know i had to get it in there). somewhat dumbification. overstimulation. multiple orgasms. nipple play. lots of dirty talk. cock training is mentioned. subspace. loud sex. minho has a really big cock. size kink.

a/n: what can I say, ya'll??? I'm just a complete and messy slut for minlix at this point... 🤷🏼‍♀️ I really don't see myself getting over them anytime soon... especially after they have moments like that one during the stay week live. yeahhh, I might've replayed that scene with them whispering 'Ily' to each other like, a thousand times over, but who's counting, right?? 😃👍🏼 idk there's just smth about their dynamic... how opposite they are to each other, yet perfect for each other in the same way, that just REALLY gets me!!! 😫 anyways, I went pretty ham on this one haha, I did not expect for it to be this long or this filthy, but I got inspired to write it from this one bl booktok I saw a few days ago, so... here we are!! 🫣

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ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sɪᴛᴇs (ᴛʜɪs ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇs ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs). © ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

“I dare you to… kiss Minho!” 

The moment the words fell from Seungmin’s lips, Felix was already majorly regretting getting roped into the game. 

Hell, he hadn’t even wanted to play in the first place. 

But his seven other friends were fairly convincing when under the influence of a dozen bottles of soju. 

And Felix, being the “ball of sunshine” that he was, just couldn’t say no to everyone. 

That, and the fact that the alcohol thrumming through his veins prodded him forward into the long game of truth-or-dare. 

He wished he hadn’t picked dare at that moment. 

Maybe then his heart wouldn’t be doing fucking summersaults in his chest and his cheeks wouldn’t feel like they were lit on fire from the other’s intense stares all around him. 

“W-What? No way, Minho is-“ He started, eyes already searching around his circle of friends and finding his brown irises in the mix of everything. 

The elder, cherry-red-headed male was the only completely sober one out of the entire lot, sitting there all straight-backed with his legs folded underneath him as he gazed on at the game in boredom. 

But now he didn’t seem all that tired of the stupidity of it all. 

 No, now… he seemed quite intrigued. 

“That’s a stupid dare Seungmin, and you know it.” Hyunjin threw back in the wake of the silence that had lapsed between everyone. 

“Why? Because Felix is gay and Minho is as straight as a board?” Changbin chimed in with a hearty laugh as he took another long swing of his bottle of peach-flavored soju. “Oh please, give me a break… this is a fucking drinking game, for God’s sake! Have a little fun!” 

Felix was a mass of twitchy limbs and nervous jittery energy there in his spot across the living room from Minho. 

The elder man was still looking at him, regarding him with that silent, easy way that he was known for. Minho’s dark eyes swirled with curiosity, as they roved down the length of Felix. 

He slumped down against the pillows at his back, heart pounding against his chest and threatening to break all of his ribs in one single breath. 

“Let’s do it.” Is all Minho said with that easy smirk of his. The kind he always leveled at Felix whenever he was feeling extra playful. 

Felix swallowed once, his fingers finding the hemline of his oversized tee and playing with the soft fabric there in his anxiety. He didn't want anyone to know - didn't want Minho to know - how he felt about the older guy. 

  That he had had a raging, impossible crush over him for years. 

  He didn't even know when the attraction had started. It was like one day he had woken up and suddenly... his childhood best friend Lee Minho looked so fucking beautiful to him. 

  He looked hot, too. 

  And slowly, Minho had started to become the sole object of all of Felix's desires. 

  He'd imagine what the red-haired male would do to him, late at night in his bedroom. 

  How Minho would look, hovering above Felix as he gave him exactly what he needed. 

  But all of those fantasies were entirely just that... fantasies. 

  Because Minho was straight. He had only ever dated hot women before - whether they were girls he had picked up at the local club for a night, or a handful of his coworkers that he saw daily. And he had claimed in the past multiple times that he was never changing that. 

  Felix knew that he would never be the thing - or the one - to shift Minho's way of thinking. 

  He wasn't that special. 

  So he'd just have to live with the fact that- 

  "Felix, come here." 

  Minho's voice came out all dark and whispery like he meant for only the younger man to hear it. Panicked, wide eyes shooting up to meet his stare, Felix watched, as the shadows danced across his face. 

  The command fell from the elder's lips effortlessly. And like a man in possession of an evil spirit, Felix already found himself moving. Limbs picking up from his spot across the way from Minho and moving towards him without any form of hesitation. 

  Felix wasn't even registering what he was doing. He was just breathing on autopilot, letting his muscles become controlled by the way Minho was crooking a finger his way, beckoning him slowly and silently. 

  Then, soon enough, Felix was blinking straight again and seated in Minho's lap, with either of his knees around his waist. 

  "Minho- we don't... I know you're-" he started, losing his words halfway through his thoughts as he realized how fucking close they were. The rest of his friends melted away into the background, and he lost track of the fact that they had an audience. 

  All he could focus on was the way Minho was looking at him just then... eyes hooded just a tiny bit. Rosy, plump lips ticking up into a devilish, sardonic kind of smile. His eyes ran over the length of Felix's face in bated silence, and then he was reaching up with two hands, brushing gentle fingers against his chin and locked jaw, before finding the nape of his neck, long digits sinking into the soft locks of Felix's hair. 

  "It's okay baby... just let me take care of it, hmm?" Minho's voice was barely above a whisper, and the sound of it immediately shot shivers down Felix's spine. The elder tugged a little bit at his long, raspberry-blue locks, bringing him closer than ever before. Felix had to bite down hard on his bottom lip to keep in the strangled moan that threatened to escape from deep inside of him. "It's just a game, right?" 

  Felix only had time to swallow around the lump in his throat once, as in the next breath, he was enveloped in the scent of... him. He could do nothing else but desperately take in shallow breaths as Minho's lips wrapped around his. 

  The fit was fucking perfect. 

  And the moment the elder's tongue darted out, the tip tracing the line of Felix's mouth, a tiny squeak fled from his throat. It was more of a quiet groan, but he hoped that none of the others could hear it. Hell, that Minho couldn't hear it. 

  In a single heartbeat, Minho was yanking at his roots, hauling him closer as he deepened the kiss, tongue swiping over his mouth and silently asking for entrance. Felix's hands frantically grasped in front of him, searching for some kind of anchor. Anything would suffice, otherwise, he'd tip over the edge and wouldn't be able to hold himself back any longer. 

  So his small hands found purchase in the fabric of Minho's shirt, fingers digging against his chest and clutching there for dear life as the older's tongue dipped into his parted mouth. 

  The red-haired male tasted of nothing but sweetness... light, saccharine sugar that made Felix's stomach do twirls of anxiety and compelled butterflies to erupt all over his veils at the flavor of it all. 

  He pushed forward with a little more fervor, kissing Minho back with all of the energy that he felt building inside of him. It flooded through his veins, thrumming across his skin and dancing up the column of his neck. It came out in a furious flush of crimson. He could feel it paint his cheeks and nose and the tips of his ears, as Minho's lips worked against his so perfectly. 

  His body was pulled completely taut, like a bowstring ready to be released. Involuntarily, his hips wanted to move, to grind down against Minho's waist. But somehow, he managed to hold himself back. 

  And then almost as quickly as it had started, the entire thing was over. Minho was tugging away from him, a messy string of saliva dragging between their mouths. His lips were puffy and kiss-swollen, and Felix couldn't even imagine how he looked in that moment. 

  "Okay?" The cherry-red-haired male asked in a quiet voice that was meant just for Felix alone. His hands left the confines of his long blue locks, resting against either of his cheeks and brushing soft thumbs across the skin there. 

  "Y-Yeah... all good..." Felix mumbled, beginning to scramble off of his lap in his haste to retreat into himself. Felix didn't want to see the look on Minho's face when he eventually noticed the pink bloom on his skin. He didn't want the others to find out about his feelings... especially Minho. 

  The rest of the guys were silent, and Felix's eyes skirted around the room, completely avoiding Minho's form as he got back into his previous place amidst the blankets and pillows. He could feel the red-haired male staring at him, eyes searing holes into his skin as he regarded the younger man.

  "Wow- that was-" Chan started, but was cut off by Felix shooting an anguished hand into the air. 

  "Let's just drop it, yeah? Who's next?" His gaze locked with Chan, and the expression he found there was one of pure, utter compassion and softness. Chan knew that he wanted to move away from the topic, so he started the game all over again. 

  And Felix sat there, practically fucking unraveling at the seams because he could still smell Minho's musky aftershave, could still taste him on his tongue, could still feel the way their mouths slid together effortlessly, could still hear the way Minho sucked in a sharp breath when Felix peeled himself away from him, his hips pressing against his for an instant. 

  "Strip for me, baby boy." 

  The command came out in that long, drawn-out voice of his. The one he always used on the younger when he meant business and wasn't playing around anymore. 

  Without hesitation, Felix was grabbing at the waistline of his sweatpants, shucking them and his boxers off of his legs. 

  The elder male said nothing else after that, strong hands coming up on either of his sides, fingers digging into the soft flesh there as he hauled Felix's body up onto the kitchen countertop, resting his bare ass against the cool edge of the white marble. 

  To Felix's utter surprise, the man before him slowly sunk to the ground, getting on his knees and positioning himself between his slightly opened legs. His red hair was a shock of brightness against the otherwise milky tone of Felix's thighs, and he swallowed deeply at the sight of it all. Like a bright flame amidst a white-out storm.

  "You're gonna let me suck you off, right?" He purred, hands clasping onto either of his knees and stretching his legs apart. His nose nuzzled into the skin of Felix's inner thighs, planting kisses there. "Gonna let me make you feel good?" 

  Felix was nodding before he could even think better of himself and his sanity, unable to speak at that moment from the way that Minho was burrowing his face into his thighs, giving kitten licks to every part of him that was exposed. 

  Because he didn't answer, he felt the elder's teeth scrape against his skin, as he bit down slightly, forcing purple to begin blooming underneath his mouth. "Use your words, doll face... I won't ask again." His tongue dragged across the sting, soothing away the pain in an instant before he was moving again. 

  Further, and further up... 

  "Y-Yes! Please... suck me off- want you to suck me off right fucking now!" Felix all but whined out, hands outstretching towards the elder in supplication and finding purchase in his crimson roots.

  At the feeling of Minho's hot breath fanning against his stiff length, Felix found his head stretching towards his spine, eyes already rolling into the back of his skull from the anticipation of it all. And when Minho blew a few puffs of teasing warm air against his tip, he shuddered like a psychotic bitch. Like one of those characters that they'd watch get possessed by an evil spirit or a ghost in a horror movie. 

  The way he was reacting to just the littlest of touches and actions was borderline freakish. The way Minho could simply breath on him and he was already falling apart at the seams, was something otherwordly. 

  Uncanny and bat-shit crazy. 

  At the feeling of Minho's tongue poking out between his pretty red lips and touching the tip of him, Felix was a total and complete goner. Fingers clutching into red waves a little bit harder, he desperately tried to bring the elder's face close to where he needed him most. 

 Then, before he could even compose himself for what was to come, Minho was already moving again... tongue flattening out against his length, dragging down the span of it, mouth wrapping around the tip that was already leaking out droplets of precum onto the tiled kitchen floor underneath them. 

  "A-Ah... yeah, just like that-" Felix mewled out in a breathy tone, nails digging into the scalp of the older as he rose higher and higher towards his release. 

  Tongue swirling around him, Minho's hands made quick work of the rest of Felix - fingers digging into one side of his hip, while his other hand was busy playing with Felix's hardening shaft. He swirled his tongue along the tip of Felix's cock, hand squeezing only slightly at the base in a teasing kind of way. 

  Felix was already trembling underneath his tongue, and his eyes shot open at the same time that the noises of Minho sucking him off filled the entire space around them. He looked down at the sight of the red-haired man between his legs - cheeks hollowed out and spit running down his chin messily as he fucked Felix with his mouth alone. 

  Minho stared up at him then, catching his gaze in the heated silence between them. The look in his eyes read pure and utter lust, the darkness swirling around his cheekbones as he took the entire length of Felix down his throat, sucking up and down with a lazy kind of rhythm. The sight that they were making together - with Felix's cum leaking out of his tip, and Minho's spit thrown into the mix, was almost enough to tip the younger over the edge. 

  "You're cock is so pretty, baby- so soft and cute..." Minho praised when he came up from his length to catch his breath. Then he was sinking back down again, pearly white teeth coming around the flushed flesh of Felix's tip. "Makes me want to suck you off for the rest of my fucking life if this is how good it's gonna be." He hummed, the feeling of the vibrations of his voice shooting gooseflesh across the younger's flesh.

  Felix couldn't help but buck his hips upwards at the elder's words, loving the feel of his tip hitting the back of Minho's pretty throat. The rutting against his face caused Minho to gag again and again, but Felix was too fucked out of his mind and too crazed in heat to care about anything else at that exact moment. 

  "I-I thought you were- were straight," Felix panted out in that deep voice of his. The one that turned all husky and shit whenever he was filled with so much arousal it thrummed in his veins. His hands gripped a little harder at the back of Minho's hair, forcing his face close to his pelvis. "But the way you're sucking me off so well right now- makes me think the opposite." 

  Minho's tongue took a broad stroke of his cock, laving up the taste of him as he slowly pulled away from his girth, wiping the excess droll and cum off of his puffy, shiny lips. "Oh- I fully intended to stay that way, darling," he began, hinting at his sexuality as he smirked up at him and gave him a devilish kind of wink. The kind that made Felix go weak in the knees. "But then we made out at that party last month- and I couldn't get the thought of fucking you out of my head."

  "I've had a raging crush on you ever since we were teenagers." Felix suddenly blurted out. At his confession, he could already feel the heat rising from his bare chest, washing his cheeks in cotton candy pink. "It was- pretty bad a few years ago... like, I couldn't sleep at night if I didn't jack myself off to the thought of you." 

  He felt dirty telling one of his best friends his deepest secret. It was one thing to keep it all bottled up inside - but to be naked before that same person you've been fantasizing about for so long, to have them on their literal hands and knees, sucking you dry, was a very different story. 

  His words forced Minho up from the ground, and soon, he was standing in front of him, hips between Felix's bare, parted legs and leaning into him. The elder male's hands came up to his face, stroking across the line of his jaw before coming up behind the nape of his neck and drawing him close. 

  "You've been so desperate for me, hmm?" He whispered, nearing Felix's space and breathing heavily against the skin of his cheek as he came in contact with the freckled flesh there. "My poor, poor baby... been so alone for so long, when all you ever wanted was me-"

  Felix suddenly yanked his face out of his grasp, gaping up at him with wide, supplicant eyes. "P-Please, say that again." 

  "Say what?" Minho frowned down at him, dark brows tensing together as his chestnut-brown irises searched the face of the younger male. 

  "Tell me I'm yours- tell me I'm you're... baby." 

  Understanding dawned across Minho's face, and soon, he was leaning into him again, mouth covering up the empty space between them in the next instant. The kiss took Felix's breath away, and the way he could taste himself on Minho's tongue forced a little bit of his sanity to vanish into thin air. 

  Already feeling the arousal rise into the pit of his stomach just from the way that Minho's lips were connected with his - tongue dipping into his mouth - Felix made to frantically push him away, palming Minho's chest that was still covered up in the oversized grey hoodie he always liked to wear. 

  "So just- just fuck me already, will ya?" He all but begged, pressing his hips up against the elder's waist, grinding his hard length against him. "Just put me out of my misery and fuck me into oblivion. Please, Min- I need it so much, I-" 

  Minho peered down at him with that piercing gaze, the curve of his lips smashing into a thin line. "Quit begging me- I was already planning on fucking you the moment I felt your hard cock grind down on me during that stupid game." His command came out a little harsh in tone, sending a furious shiver up the length of Felix's spine. 

  The younger man said nothing more after that, just as Minho reached behind his back and stripped himself of his hoodie and oversized graphic tee. The smooth plain of his stomach left Felix swallowing down a groan, as his eyes traveled low, towards the dip at Minho's waist, and landing on the growing tent in his black sweatpants. Minho's skin glistened under the faint lights of the kitchen, muscles rippling with each sharp breath that he took. 

 Felix watched in silence as Minho seemingly pulled a bottle of lube right out of thin air. He could feel his dick twitching in bated want, as he followed each and every one of Minho's movements - from the opening of the bottle to the dripping of the clear liquid onto slim fingers. 

  "Take a deep breath for me, baby," Minho coached, tipping into his form and littering kisses against his exposed clavicle. Then one of his hands was wrapping around Felix's cock, pumping his palm up and down the rigid length. 

  Felix did as he was told, taking in shuddering gulps of air as Minho's lips came close to his again. "You ever done this before?" Felix suddenly asked, limbs twitching in anticipation as he felt Minho's fingers that were coated in lube dancing near his entrance. 

  "Nah, but I've seen you do it enough times to get the gist of it all." He sneered down at him, connecting their lips again in another feverish kiss.

  And before Felix could even wrap his mind around what that meant, Minho was plowing a finger into him. The lube was cold against his skin and made him jump in the elder's hold. But then, Minho started thrusting in and out with languid strokes, and soon, Felix was moving against his hand, rutting himself atop his finger. 

  "Y-You watched me?" He managed to stutter out after they had parted to catch their breaths, just as Minho added another cool finger, slowly beginning to stretch him out. "When?"

  Minho shrugged nonchalantly, almost like the thought of him watching Felix fuck himself alone in his room wasn't that big of a deal. Like they were sitting on the living room couch chatting over tea, and not in such a precarious position in his apartment's kitchen. 

  Just then, a wave of memories came over Felix. All of the guys had spare keys to each other's places, and Minho had one to his apartment. So perhaps the elder had caught him when he had snuck into his place to surprise him on a few rare occasions. He liked to do that quite a bit, to be honest. 

Visions of what Felix liked to do in the privacy of his room came flooding back into his mind. Him, stretched out across his bed, his entire focus glued to his computer screen as he watched a hot gay couple act out some scene in one of the many porn collections that he had tabbed on his laptop. 

  Usually, he'd just lazily stroke himself til he came when he watched the porn. But then other times, when he wasn't in the mood for any porn, he'd find himself losing his mind over the thought of Minho. First, he'd stroke himself as he imagined what it'd feel like for Minho's hands to replace his. Then, he'd lube himself up and finger his hole until he was crying out in agonizing bliss. 

  The orgasms were always mind-blowing when he imagined Minho in the depths of his fantasies. Sometimes, he'd shove a huge, realistic-looking vibrating dildo up his entrance and grind down on it, fucking himself silly to the thought of riding Minho into oblivion. 

  Other times, he'd stick a butt plug up his ass and fit a cock ring over the length of his cock, envisioning that Minho was the one who was using the toys on him in utter punishment because he had misbehaved for some stupid reason. 

  Almost every time that Minho was the object of his fantasies, Felix would be a moaning mess in his bed - squirming and whimpering out his name in pure, unadulterated lust. 

  And to think that the Lee Minho was in his place during some of those heated, private moments, watching through the crack of his bedroom door, was... 

  Embarrassing yet incredibly hot all at the same time. 

  "It doesn't matter when or how- and what can I say... you're really fucking cute when you're horny." He added a third finger after that, groaning against the stretch. "I heard you- when you'd cry out my name as you fingered yourself to the brink of ecstasy- as you bounced on that giant vibrating dildo you keep hidden in the depths of your nightstand drawer," Minho grunted out in a raspy tone, as Felix continued to grind down on his hand, forcing Minho to grip harder onto his throbbing cock. "Shit- you're so tight... gonna have to fuck this tight little hole right open..." 

  Felix bent forward, teeth taking hold of the elder's bottom lip and sinking down into the plushness there as he spoke in a whispery voice, "Just- stick it in already... I'm going to lose my fucking mind if I don't have your cock in me within the next two minutes." 

  Minho flashed him a sardonic smirk, licking his lips as he made quick work of his pants and boxers. "Say no more, baby doll." 

  At the sight of finally being able to gaze upon Minho's bare cock, Felix let out a flurry of whines and curses. Minho squirted out some lube onto his hand, palming his cock a few times to prepare himself. Then Felix was clutching onto his hips in hastiness, positioning the redhead right over his entrance. 

  Tipping his head back at the feel of Minho's blushed-red tip ghosting across his hole, Felix let out a deep groan, "Fuck- you're gonna be a bitch to take, aren't you?" He cracked his eyes open to see Minho grinning down at him with a shit-eating look on his face. 

  "Pretty much... all the girls I've slept with always have a hard time," then he was pressing into him, taking it inch by inch and yanking a string of moans out of Felix with each languid push. "But you're gonna do just fine- like the good little slut that you are, you're gonna take all of me." 

  Then, without any warning, he was ramming up into Felix, bottoming out in one go. The younger let out a scream that was a mix of pleasure and pain, his entire body convulsing from the feeling of it all. 

  "F-Fuck, you're fucking huge-" He mewled, nails digging into Minho's back as he began to move against Felix's hips with fluid strokes, thrusting in and out slowly at first. 

  "I'll have to train this pretty little hole to take me- train your mouth too," Minho growled in a gravelly voice, face sinking towards Felix's chest and tongue swirling around one of his pretty, rosy-red pebbled nipples. He bit down at the raised flesh there, yanking a tangle of sobs from the depths of the younger's soul. His palm squeezed down a little harder on Felix's own cock, as he set a merciless rhythm, pounding away at his entrance. "What do ya say? You- all splayed out on your bed every night, having me teach you? Having me tear you open so that you can take my cock like a good little whore?" 

  Felix swallowed around the strangled moan that threatened to escape past the lump in his throat, digging his nails into the skin of Minho's shoulders as his orgasm crested over the edge of his mind. "Mmh- fuck, yes... want you to teach me how to take it all- how to take this big, beautiful cock of yours."

  At that, Minho rolled his hips into him at a vicious pace, thumb playing with the tip of Felix's cock, dragging the precum down the hard shaft. "That's my boy- suck a good slut for me... such a good fuck toy, hmm?" Then he was chuckling against his skin, as his mouth came open to suck around Felix's other nipples, tongue gliding up the skin around it. "Gonna be my dirty little secret, yeah? No one has to know that the resident straight boy is fucking you dumb- fucking the cock-whore dumb every night with his big, fat dick..." 

  Felix couldn't hold it in anymore, finally letting the strangled screams fall from his lips as he desperately chased his high. Hands frantically searching for purchase, he pulled at Minho's dark roots, letting his entire body get rocked backward from the rough thrusts of the man between his legs. The sounds of their fucking filled the entire apartment in a healthy coating of lust - the sound of Minho pounding away at his wet hole breaking off the last bit of resolve Felix had. 

  "I-I'm gonna come-" He shrieked out in anguish, clutching on for dear life to Minho's hair as the elder continued his frenzied speed. Felix felt like he was getting torn open at the seams from his cock alone, bleeding out with a mix of cum and lube and spit. 

  And then he was falling off of the cliffside, allowing the white-hot light of his orgasm to course through his veins. It ripped across his entire body, flooding his cheeks in heat and making his blood boil. His orgasm came out in white streaks, and when he felt a mouth hover over his length again, lapping up his seed in supplication, he all but came again - right then and there. 

  "Mhm- my baby boy tastes so good," Minho hummed out once he had finished cleaning Felix up, as he chased his own high, still plunging his length deep into the younger's hole, hitting that gooey spot inside of him again and again that made Felix's eyes violently roll into the back of his head every time. Like he was getting fucking exorcised or some shit. "Makes me wanna force you to cum every single fucking day, that way I can have you on my tongue at all times." 

  Felix felt him stiffen up inside of him, as Minho reached his peak. Grabbing at his locks, Felix pulled the older man close to him, pressing his mouth against his and swallowing up the groans that escaped past Minho's lips as his orgasm racked through his body. 

  The blue-haired man felt stuffed to the brim, as Minho shuddered against him, collapsing into his frame as he rode out his own high. Felix could feel the warm seed leaking out of his hole, and once Minho had regained some of his composure, he straightened up and stared down at the center of them, where their two bodies met. 

  "Gonna breed you so well, your cute little tummy will be full of my seed when I'm finished with you." The edges of Minho's lips ticked up into a wicked smile, like the filthy plans he had for the two of them were already running rampant in his mind, as he gazed upon their connected bodies. Minho's softening cock twitched a few times inside of him, and Felix squirmed at the feeling of him slowly pulling out. 

  "I love you, Min," Felix breathed out shakily, just as Minho's dick pulled free from him. The younger male reached up and pressed a gentle kiss against his jawline. "I was too much of a coward to ever tell you- but now... I'm sick of hiding how I feel." 

  He felt one of Minho's hands come up close to his entrance, as his fingers gingerly fucked the seed back into his shivering hole. Felix practically melted under his touch, bones turning to liquid from all of the exhaustion and arousal. 

  "I love you too, baby boy..." Minho started after he was finished, hands coming around either side of Felix's face as he planted a soft kiss on his forehead. "Fuck- I adore you, so much. Gonna keep you as mine forever, yeah? No one's ever gonna get to love or touch or fuck you again except for me." 

  Felix flashed him a toothy grin, wrapping his slim arms around Minho's neck and drawing him close to his frame. He snuggled into the crook of his neck, breathing in the scent of his bare skin, fingertips ghosting over the hard planes of his muscular abdomen. "I'll be yours until the end of eternity- always wanted to be, Min..."  

  He allowed Minho to heave him up from the kitchen countertop, resting in the silence there as the elder's strong arms came around his bare waist. Minho effortlessly moved them into Felix's bedroom, and soon, his shock-blue hair was disheveled across his pillow. 

  The younger man stared up at Minho with narrowed eyes, already feeling sleep come over him. It had been a long night - hell, a long couple of years - as he waited and wished for nothing but Lee Minho. 

  But now, he was here, hovering over him and tucking the soft duvet under his chin. Now here he was, pressing a handful of delicate kisses to his lips in the silence of the bedroom. 

  "Sweet dreams, my darling boy..."

  His calming, familiar voice was the final straw that allowed Felix to slip into dreamland. The feeling of his strong arms coming up around his waist anchored him into the lull of sleep, the drag of his hips backward helped to ease his mind, as he nestled against the front of Minho.

  And just like that, he was lifting off into the stars, falling into his exhaustion with the comforting feeling of the man he loved all around him and inside of him. 

Fin.

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[slytherinshua]

OBLIVIOUSLY IN LOVE genre ➳ fluff. idiots in love. mutual oblivious pining. warnings ➳ seungmin is #whipped. kissing. pairing ➳ seungmin x fem!reader. wc ➳ 2.6k. a/n ➳ from this request from @iadorethemskz!! hope you enjoy, and thank you for requesting!

Seungmin crept back into the dorm as sneakily as he could, tiptoeing to not wake up any of the members who might be sleeping. He was grinning from ear to ear and he was sure his cheeks were still blazing red, but he couldn’t care less. He always felt like this after meeting up with you. Seungmin’s efforts at being quiet were pointless after he tripped over shoes that had been left at the front door and the other 7 members who were all still up turned to the front door at the same time, silence falling on the room.

Seungmin froze under his hyung’s stares. Jeongin’s dry cough interrupted the awkward silence, eyes glancing in between Seungmin and Chan.

“This is the fourth time this has happened…” Chan said as Seungmin took a seat next to Felix.

“Are you sure you don’t like her?” Hyunjin asked, eyebrows rising.

“I already told you… she’s nothing but a friend…” Seungmin responded nervously. Even he wasn’t sure if what was coming out of his mouth was entirely the truth. 

“Just a friend…” Changbin repeated sarcastically, “You may be successfully fooling yourself, but you’re not fooling us.” 

“We know you like her.” Jisung added to make it even clearer.

“I don’t.” Seungmin said again, biting his lip nervously. Everyone could tell he was lying, though. The members always caught onto everything so quickly.

“Do you need advice?” Minho asked, examining the younger’s anxious state. Seungmin nodded. “Well, too bad, cause I don’t have any to give you. You fucked up falling for your best friend, I don’t know what else to say.”

Jisung’s face fell open in shock and Felix tried to start saying how Minho didn’t actually mean it to comfort Seungmin, but Seungmin hushed him.

“He’s right. I fucked up.” Seungmin admitted. He paused, searching for the right words, and then a smile crept onto his face, “But I… love her.” The room fell silent and he almost regretted saying it. His face fell after he realised what he had just admitted and he quickly backtracked, “I-I mean- I don’t love her I just-” Seungmin stuttered nervously under the stare of the other members.

“You do.” Chan said. All of Seungmin’s missing confidence seemed to be in his voice instead. “And that’s okay. You are allowed to love her. You are allowed to be in love with her. I’m happy that you’re in love, in fact. I like seeing you happy, and Y/n is what makes you the happiest right now.” Chan explained to Seungmin what he thought was the most obvious thing, though Seungmin was missing these facts himself, too blind to accept it.

Seungmin felt relieved after hearing Chan’s words, though a bit shocked as well. Were you really what made him the happiest? He rested his head in his hands, thinking about all the things he felt when he saw you. He felt elated whenever you smiled. He constantly stared at you, always wanting to look at you and how effortlessly beautiful you were. He was scared of skin contact with you. It made him nervous and his stomach went wild whenever it happened by accident. Whenever you brushed your hand against his on accident, he felt like he would pass out with the way his heart started racing.

As unbelievable as it sounds, Seungmin had never realised what all of this meant. He had never really had a crush on anyone. He didn’t know what he should be feeling or what was normal. But now that Chan had so kindly pointed it out for him, he could see it so clearly. He was… so, so in love with you. It was almost painful how in love with you he was that he wanted to run back to your apartment this instant and tell you over and over again how he felt.

But that thought also scared him. He wouldn’t be able to bear it if you didn’t feel the same way. Oh, God… What if you only saw him as a friend? What if it ruined your friendship with him? What if you never wanted to talk to him again? What if you ghosted him? What if-

“Seungmin? You look like your eyes are about to pop out of their sockets with how wide they are. Are you okay?” Jisung said, bringing the lovesick boy back to reality.

“What if she hates me?!” Seungmin asked in a panic, hands clutching at his hair, pulling at the brown and pink strands harshly.

“Why would you think that? Obviously she likes you back-” Jeongin giggled, finding it funny how Seungmin hadn’t noticed that the feelings were mutual between you two. It was so painfully obvious for Jeongin, who was also friends with you. He always felt like a third wheel when he was hanging out with you two. Except, he wasn’t really one since you both seemed to be completely oblivious that you even had feelings for each other, and especially oblivious that the other liked you back. He was at the point where he would give anything just to see you two get together. The obliviousness annoyed him more than the third-wheeling.

“What? How do you know?” Seungmin was almost desperate to know the younger’s secrets and why all of his hyungs were somehow so good at the love game. Or maybe he was just painfully bad. One or the other.

“One look at her sketchbook and it’s obvious.” Hyunjin said with a laugh. “She draws you too much to be subtle anymore. It’s cute, if you ask me.”

Seungmin looked adorably confused at the new information. He drew you more than was normal? Of course he knew that you drew him. You always brought your sketchbook with you when meeting up with him and he would talk while you sketched him. It was one of his favourite things about you. And if he could convince you to show him the drawings then that would be all that was on his mind for the rest of the day. You drew him so well and the thought that you took that much time and attention into making his likeness on paper had his heart soaring in his chest.

Fuck, maybe he really was in love with you.

“Should I confess to her…?”

The choruses of “yes!”, “obviously!!” and “god, finally!” were enough of an answer to Seungmin and he excused himself to bed. He lay down, head hitting the soft pillow, brain swarming with so many confusing thoughts. Was he really in love? With you? He shifted so he was lying on his side, cheek squishing against the pillow and eyes looking at his phone screen, staring at your contact. Without him thinking, his fingers pressed the call button. He panicked. You picked up on the first ring.

“Seungmin? What’s up?” Seungmin could hear it in your voice that you were smiling, and it made him smile as well. 

“Just… was thinking about you.” He mumbled honestly, becoming a little shy at hearing your voice and pressing his face further into the pillow to compensate, hoping to hide any nervousness that might be detectable by you.

“Really? I was… thinking about you as well.”

Seungmin’s eyes widened a bit. No way. “Why were you thinking about me?”

“I liked your pink bangs today. It’s for the comeback, right?”

Seungmin blushed a bit, hand automatically fiddling with the strands of pink hair, “Yeah, for the comeback. Do I like good with them?”

You giggled through the phone and Seungmin’s heart jumped in his chest at the melodic sound. “You always look good, no matter the hair colour.”

“What if I was bald?” Seungmin asked playfully.

You hummed, pretending to think about it for a long time, “I think you’re pushing your chances a little too much with that one.”

“Right, so never going bald, got it.”

You laughed, “Why? Does my approval matter so much?”

Seungmin smiled, “To me, it does. And unless my hair gets much more fried from dying, I don’t think I would go bald willingly, anyway. Win for both of us.”

“Glad to know you’re not thinking about going bald, Minnie.” You tried to suppress your yawn but you were pretty sure the phone had picked it up and Seungmin was the noticing type.

“Shit, it’s late and you’re probably really tired. I’ll let you sleep.” He urged. You were a bit disappointed that the call was ending so soon, but he was right, you were tired.

“Okay… Goodnight, Seungmo.” You mumbled and Seungmin smiled at the nickname, mumbling a goodnight back before ending the call.

He rolled over onto his back, staring at the ceiling, blinking as his brain kept on thinking over what the members had said. He should take their advice.

//

You were feeling especially dreary today, your mood perfectly matching the weather. It was raining, and not the pleasant kind of rain, but the harsh fat drops of rain that sounded too loud on the pavement and soaked you too fast to be pleasant. You didn’t want to go outside. You tried to at least get yourself out of your pyjamas to hopefully feel a little productive, but you were failing at that task as well. 

You glared at your reflection in your mirror. You looked awful. You hated the outfit you had picked, you had screwed up your makeup too many times for your patience and had eventually decided to go without despite the couple breakout spots you could see, and your energy seemed to be entirely drained from just the small task of getting up for the day. You didn’t even want to think about breakfast. You weren’t hungry.

You heard your doorbell ring and groaned. You waited, thinking you would just wait until whatever delivery man left. You didn’t really feel like socialising today unless it was with Seungmin. You smiled at the thought of him and remembered the only good thing that had happened today. He had invaded your dreams last night (most welcomely), and you had been missing him ever since you had gotten up. Maybe you would draw him today.

The doorbell rang again and you raised your eyebrow. This was one persistent mailman. The small moment you had taken to think of Seungmin had given you a little burst of energy and you thought that you could probably handle speaking to whoever was at the door for a couple minutes. You slipped down the stairs as the doorbell rang for the third time and you shook your head.

“You are one persistent person aren’t you-” You said loud enough for them to hear as you opened the door. Your eyes widened, surprised gaze locking with one much softer.

“I guess you could say that.” Seungmin mumbled. He was absolutely soaked from the rain. Did he not bring an umbrella? You watched as the rain drops slowly slid down his cheek almost looking like tears. You wondered why he had shown up so suddenly in the morning, that too, unannounced.

“Do you want to come inside? You’re dripping wet.” You offered him passage through the front door by opening it a little wider, but he shook his head firmly.

“I need to say something first.”

“In the pouring rain?” You laughed and even Seungmin couldn’t keep his serious face on. A smile tugged at his lips, helping a little with his anxiety.

“Y/n, I couldn’t wait another day to tell you this, which is why I’m here even in the rain.” He gulped and you tilted your head to the side, “I think I’m in love with you. No-” His hand ran through his wet hair as he thought of the right words, “I know that I’m in love with you. Very, very in love with you, and it’s hard to bear. Hyungs say that you like me too but I… I won’t believe that until I hear it from you.” He sighed and made eye contact with you again, and this time you thought you saw his eyes actually watering.

“Seungmin…” You were shocked and you didn’t really know what to say. He sounded so genuine that it took your breath away. You didn’t know what to say in response that could rival his perfect confession. The only thing you could feel was your heart beating rapidly in your chest and Seungmin’s inpatient gaze on you. 

“Oh, God- They were wrong, weren’t they? You… You don’t actually like me and I… I’m so stupid.” His voice shook a little and he dropped his head. You panicked when he started to turn away, grabbing his wrist tightly. He turned back a bit reluctantly, meeting your eyes which now held a more confident sheen.

“Come here, you big baby.” You mumbled and wrapped your arms around Seungmin’s soaking figure, hugging him so he wouldn’t be able to run away. “You thought I didn’t like you because you were too sweet and I forgot how to breathe? That’s unfair.” You teased, trying to lighten the mood a bit because you could feel Seungmin’s shoulders shake as he hugged you tighter. 

You stroked his hair with one hand and rubbed comforting circles on his back with the other, and the position made you have a realisation. You wanted Seungmin to be in your arms forever and even a little bit after forever. You had never experienced something as perfect as this hug. Seungmin sniffed and you tried to pull back a bit to look at him but he just buried his face deeper into the crook of your neck.

“Why won’t you let me see you?” You asked softly, still playing with his hair.

“My cheeks are pink.” He mumbled.

“Are you too embarrassed to look at me?” You giggled, “God, you’re so cute.”

“Stop!” He whined and then smiled. You smiled with him.

“Stop hiding from me, I want to look at you.” You murmured. Seungmin nodded slightly and pulled away a little, barely able to meet your gaze. His cheeks were the cutest shade of pink and you melted at the sight.

“Seungmin,” You cupped his cheek and turned his face a little to meet your gaze, “I’m in love with you, too.” He smiled and you stared at him, soaking up his beauty even when he was soaking wet still.

You found you both leaning in slowly until his soft lips reached yours. You smiled into the kiss and hugged him as close as possible, heart feeling elated. His hair dripped water onto your face causing both of you to giggle and pull away.

“I think you need to come in and change otherwise you might catch a cold.” You urged him and he nodded in agreement.

Half an hour later, Seungmin had showered and changed. The amount of clothes that had been left at your place from the hundreds of meetups gave him lots of options for what to wear. He picked the most comfortable, anticipating the cuddles that he hoped would take up most of the rest of the day.

He settled on the couch next to you and you scooted over until your head rested on his chest. You couldn’t stop smiling at how the day turned out. You probably wouldn’t be able to hate rain ever again.

“They’re gonna tease me for this.” Seungmin predicted as he thought about telling the other members why he had been away the whole day.

“I’m sure they’re happy you’re happy… You are happy, right?” You glanced up at him with a smile.

“The happiest.” He replied.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ skz taglist: @kangtaehyunzzz,, @yeonjuns-redhair,, @ddeonudepressions,, @justhyunhoer,, @skz-minchan-enthusiast

[dazed--xx]

Breathless 2 (Alt. Ending)

Member: Hyunjin x reader  

Word count: 14.1K

IDOL CAMEOS: Karina-Aespa, Yeji-Itzy, Lia-Itzy, Jinhwan-Monsta X.

Trigger warnings: toxic relationships, ANGST, happy ending, mentions of smut no smut actually featured, fake texts, mentions of drinking/getting black out drunk, mentions of cheating, mentions of marijuana use, crying, arguments, mentions of anxiety. anything else i could have forgotten.

A/N: So this the alternative ending. So many people asked for a happy ending and my original plan was not to have one but i did make this alt ending for all my fluffy happy ending lovers most of the two stories are the same until the final confrontation. Im still willing to write drabbles for these characters and everything so thank you for enjoying.

Part 1    Original Ending

You were grateful for Felix having come into your life. Ever since your break up with Hyunjin, two months ago, He’s been your rock through it. From taking you out anytime you felt you needed to get away, to cuddling with you and watching a movie, and some days like, today, when Hyunjin does reach out to try to talk Felix is the one to usually urge you to at least get closure. You immediately found yourself wandering aimlessly until Felix picked you up and brought you to the beach. But you being sad didn’t mean you didn’t get out of the ‘closure’ lecture.

“You know....”  

Felix trails “You’re going to have to talk to him eventually you deserve an explanation......and closure” you sigh in response, adjusting yourself against the uncomfortable pebbles beneath you. Your eyes trail over the setting sun dancing across the water, waves crashing against the rocks on the shoreline. “I can get an explanation from Ye-na before I get the slightest truth from Hyunjin” Felix flinches at the way you say Hyunjin’s name. He stands in his place almost dumbfounded. “Listen helmet, like honestly, I would 100% agree that what he did was wrong but he looked genuinely heartbroken when you ended things. You should at least hear him out if not for him then for yourself. Wouldn’t you want to know why he cheated?” you shake your head in response. “Why would I ever want to know why?” You growl. “So, you don’t feel like it's your fault, which is what I know you feel.” you force your eyes away from the water “and how could you possibly know that?” you counter. He shrugs in response running his hand through his hair before placing extending out to you “the face you made just told me, but let's get out of here please you know what kind of people hang out around these parts at night” you chuckle in response as you grab his hand “I literally met you right over there” you pointed toward the pier “So they're your kind of people Yongbokie~” you tease.  

His face is flat “Dude they're STILL looking for me”  

It was your turn to shrug “And? Why'd you piss them off” his mouth hangs open “I didn’t purposely piss them off I just.......slept with the leader's sister......” “And?” you urge him to continue “And he walked in okay!” he responds. You couldn’t contain your laughter, “Wait! He saw little yongbokie!” you struggled to regain composure as you approach Felix’s bike. “1! How was I supposed to know he would walk in she said she was going to be home alone for hours she miscalculated. And 2! Don’t name my dick especially a title that implies its little. When it very much isn’t” you roll your eyes at him. “Suuuuurrrrrreeeee” his face forms a scowl. “What? You want to see? Don’t think you’d be able to handle it” he urges, his hand wrapping around your hair forcing your head back pressing your back against his chest. You squeak in responds your face turning toward him “Don't threaten me with a good time” you tease facing him brushing your noses together before running your hand down his torso making your way toward his waistline before his hand grips at your wrist “FINE! Fine! You won this time okay” he jumps. You chuckle in response “Lixie, you act like I don’t win every time you try to play this game with me”  

“You only win because I let you. I have no problems with being a rebound honestly and if I wanted to win, Helmet, you’d have been in my bed the night after you broke up with Hyunjin” He states. “Hmm I'll keep that in mind then” you shrug as he starts his motorcycle. “You know you're quite annoying, even Karina gets somewhat flustered when I talk to her” he snaps. You giggle “Lix, you’re really attractive and honestly at first you definitely made me really blushy but I was with Hyunjin so it was really easy to kind of shrug it off you know?” you state softly. The wind kissing your cheeks. “But, if I ever felt like you know, ready to move on, you’d probably be the first person I'd sleep with” you finish matter of factly. He nods in response “Shit just let me know, I can definitely make you forget all about Hyunjin” He winks biting his bottom lip before hopping onto his bike.  

“But it's cold so you coming or not?”  

______________________________________________________________

You sighed as you walked toward your dorm’s entrance, you weren't excited for Lia’s questioning on why you had randomly left the dorm, completely disappearing while she showered. You dragged your feet as if they were imbedded in cinderblocks, formulating a plan to make a beeline for your bedroom and locking the door. You regret taking the stairs as you enter the door to your floor, your legs aching. Your eyes not leaving the ground as you continue your path to your bed. Your hands fidgeting with your keys, you let out a loud sigh. Finally lifting your eyes as you come close to your door, your heart sinking as you see your ex sitting in front of it. You consider running back toward the stairs before he could notice you, yet luck was not on your side as his eyes find you and he jumps to his feet.  

You freeze in shock, it’s the first time you’ve seen him since you broke up and he didn’t look too good---well he still looked absolutely gorgeous, but you could see the lack of sleep in his eyes. Ghost trails of tears stained on his face, his hair was disheveled and he was still wearing the same clothes from the night you had broken up. Your throat tightens, you felt your fingers tingling; you’re face heated up rapidly. You hated that, even with the pain he’s caused you, he could still make your heart race. You felt your heart ache at the sight of him in pain. Still, there’s a light in his eyes when he looks at you.  

“Bab--Y/N....” his voice is coarse “C-can we talk.... please?”  

His eyes are pleading as he slowly makes his way toward you. You release a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, looking toward the ground once again shaking your head. “Y-you need to go...” you mumble. Your eyes notice his shoes now in view, you can feel the heat radiating off him due to his closeness. “Please....I-I just want to talk--I don’t know what else to do. You don’t answer my calls or-or texts. I don’t understand what happened--I feel like I can't breathe” he begs, you feel his hands on your arms igniting a fire in your stomach. You jump at the contact your head whipping to look at him as you force his hands off you. “No.” you state coldly. “You need to leave now, Hyunjin” you shove your way past him to your door. Forcing your key in the lock and turning before you turn back to your ex. “You lost your chance to talk to me the moment you fucked anyone else while we were together. Leave before I call security” “I didn’t--I sw-” his pleads are cut off by you slamming the door behind you.  

Hyunjin stood in shock, tears welling in his eyes. He knew it was going to be hard to get you to forgive him but how could he even begin to try to fix things if you wouldn’t even look at him. His heart clenched in his chest. This isn’t happening...... he thinks to himself. The same words that’s been playing in his head since that fateful night. He didn’t know what else to do, he was so lost. He’s never felt pain like this before and he still couldn’t understand why. He knows what you believe but he still doesn’t even understand what Ye-na told you. And when he confronted Ye-na she just laughed at the ‘irony’ as she had stated boldly. He’d spent countless hours these past two months staring at nothing but his phone screen waiting for something---anything in return from you. Losing you was the last thing he could have ever wanted. He knew he should leave; he knew you wanted him to go, but he couldn’t he needed to try. He needed you to talk to him. With a shaky breath he lifted his phone and immediately pressed the call button of your contact. Pressing his back against your door and sliding down.  

“Fuck......” he cried as he ran his hand through his hair. Of course, you’d reject his call. He wanted to scream, to beg for you to talk to him; his mind flashed to the way you flinched at his touch. He wanted to go back, back to when he first got his chance with you. He'd change everything, he’d appreciate everything he had. He needed to hold you again, if he could go back, he would have stayed every time you’d ask. He’d show you he loves you, because he did—he does. He wishes he’d realized it sooner, anything to just have you back. He hates that he confessed his love when he did. He knows what you probably think, but he needed you to know. He thought it would reassure you that he didn’t want anyone else. His phone buzzed in his hand. His heart lit up at your contact.  

He knew it wasn’t much, but it was something. You responded; he didn’t care it was to tell him to leave. He immediately went to respond, only for his message to be interrupted by a call from Jisung. He sighed to himself as he pressed the answer button. “Hell---Dude, you gotta go home” Jisung interrupted. “What are you talking about?” Hyunjin questioned with faux confusion “I am---no! You're not! you wanna know how I know you’re not?! Because I’m at your place! Dude! Come home, okay? If she wants to talk to then she will but you can't camp out in front of her dorm its honestly fucking creepy!” Jisung exclaims. Hyunjin rolls his eyes, biting his lip. “Fine, just-just stay their asshole”  

“Dope, when you get back, you’re taking a fucking shower and cleaning your room bro this is gross and honestly no girl would even look at you let alone talk to you judging by your place.” Jisung whines.  

“So fucking leave then!” He snaps.  

“See I would, but I’m the hot one now and I just need a second to soak it in so get home while you still look like shit” Jisung exclaims excitedly. And for just a moment, Hyunjin considers murdering his best friend. Scoffing, he quickly ends the call before lifting himself off the ground. He gives one last look at your door before he makes his way back to his dorm, leaving his heart in his place.

______________________________________________________________

Your dance class has been.... awkward to say the least. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife, you can feel Ye-na's glare and Hyunjin’s love sick longing stare on you. Jisung still follows Karina around like a lost puppy so you have to sometimes deal with the occasional run in with him. Jisung, as Hyunjin’s best friend, is one of the few that truly knew what was going on in your past relationship. Sometimes you thought he knew even more than you about your own relationship with Hyunjin. He remained polite sometimes looking at you with sad eyes when he notices Hyunjin’s pleading gaze. You questioned as to why he sat here with you when his own best friend sat across the room, not paying attention to his dance partner and focusing on you and only you.  

You honestly felt exceptionally confused. Why was Hyunjin acting like this? A question that’s lingered in your mind for days. He had ignored you for the majority of your relationship, only showing interest a select number of times that didn’t involve sex. You were together for a little over a year and if you were to say you didn’t love him it would be a lie. You loved him, you still love him but he obviously didn’t feel the same if he had seeked out another woman. You hated yourself for not hating Ye-na, you don’t know if she knows you overheard her conversation with her friend but honestly, you owed her a huge thank you. For months you couldn’t figure out how Hyunjin had felt about you, and in a few words, you learned that he did not feel the same way. You didn’t blame her; she wasn’t the one that promised you exclusivity so how could you hold a grudge against someone that got played by the same person. He probably made false promises to her as well, so, why the heartbroken pouty expression that wouldn’t leave his features. You feel like you should at least talk to him, but every time you went to respond to him; Ye-na's words rang through your head. Why would he say you guys were nothing serious and then declare his love for you?  

You had practically the exact same conversation with everyone beside Karina, who had suggested you talk to him, after a certain violent act pertaining to a very vital reproductive organ was performed; which you had considered but immediately shot down. You didn’t want to talk to Jisung about it so you had gone to Changbin, who also told you to talk to Hyunjin and nothing more or less. You felt like pulling your hair out and you knew you’d regret it but you decided to talk to Jisung, he’d have the most knowledge about everything and you were honestly still to hurt to face Hyunjin so this was your best bet. You let out a shaky breath before you stood up and looked at Jisung. “Hey can you come with me to something from the vending machine in the music department?” It was no secret that the vending machine in the music department contained the best snacks and drinks, the foreign stuff. But you hoped that he would understand that there was more to you asking other than you craving things.

The confused look on your face told you he didn’t catch it, “Why?” He asked, Karina slapped the back of his head “Ouch! Why’d you do that?” He whined rubbing his injury “Because you’re stupid. Bring her genius! she can't get into the department without a music major” She snapped as she rolled her eyes. His cheeks heat up in embarrassment “Sorry” he apologized as he stood from his place. You felt eyes burning on you and Jisung as you made your way out of the studio. You look at Jisung quizzically as you notice him looking across the room before almost crashing into the door if you didn’t pull him out the door behind you. “Jesus, Han I think you’d lose your head if it wasn’t attached” you tease, raising your eyebrow to him. He chuckles in embarrassment as he fixes his shirt “Sorry, I was—Hyu--I got distracted” He looks away as he stammers.  

“That’s actually why I wanted to go to the music department. You’re Hyunjin’s best friend you probably know way more than me about---Y/N I told you I don’t know if what Ye-na said is true” He cuts you off. You shake your head rapidly “No that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about”  

“Oh” He states in confusion “well then.... what about Hyunjin did you want to talk to me about?”

“Well, as you probably know I still haven’t talked to him about things, BUT the night we broke up. He said something that has me really confused” You explain. “Well....what did he say? I can’t really help you unless I know, you know?” He states softly, you pause for a moment “He told me he loves me.” Jisung’s eyes widen “He finally confessed?! And He didn’t even tell me?! I’m supposed to be his best friend, his ride or die, and he doesn’t even tell me that” he exclaims in betrayal. You snap in his face while he continues his rant “Hanji, Focus. So, you do at least know how he feels then” Jisung shakes his head at you “Oh no no no little lady, Karina warned me this talk was coming. It's not my place to tell you how Hyunjin feels about you. You need to talk to him if you want answers” You scoff “Karina told you to say that?”  

“No! I’m saying it!” Jisung exclaims “Honestly Y/N, I’m his best friend he’s not doing okay in all of this and He wants to tell you how he feels and what you mean to him. And as his best friend and knowing how he feels I know he needs to be the one to tell you. You think you’re the only one hurt right now but you’re not. My best friend is going through his first ever break up, and he’s heartbroken. And I’m not making excuses for him, you had a good reason to break up with him he promised you loyalty and he didn’t keep that promise I guess but let’s be real here you know the kind of guys we are. Were you really surprised? You probably thought this would have happened anyway because let's be honest here me and Hyunjin aren’t built for relationships. I don’t know if he’s ever cheated on you like for real but I do know that I wouldn’t be surprised or disappointed if it turns out he did if I were you.”  He states honestly, as his hand grasps your shoulder stopping you. “So, what? I should forgive him if he did?” You question. Jisung shakes his head “No, you shouldn’t honestly just cause I’m that kind of guy doesn’t mean I'd say you should forgive him. If he cheated dump his ass and move on you want loyalty, you’re that kind of girl.”  

“So, I should......?” you prod.  

“Talk to Hyunjin Y/N” Jisung scoffs

______________________________________________________________

Hyunjin didn’t know why he had done it, honestly, he knew why he’d done it but he doesn’t know exactly what could come of him messaging Felix; But he knew one thing for sure, he was running out of options. He was losing his mind thinking of ways to get you to talk to him, He knew Felix would at least have some insight into how you were feeling, judging by your social media, you’ve been with Felix every day since the breakup. Your friendship with Felix had always brought an uncomfortable ache in Hyunjin’s chest. He’d realized you deserved better than himself long before you had met Felix, but it wasn’t until after that Hyunjin realized you deserved someone like Felix. He could see that glint in your eye every time you talked to him and it always made Hyunjin feel like throwing up. That is until you had broken up with him and Felix had messaged him almost immediately that he had brought you home, that you were safe and needed time. Hyunjin had realized, in the short time he’s spent talking to him, that Felix truly cared for you so much so that he’d continuously update Hyunjin on your condition. Hyunjin hated himself for ruining things so much that he couldn’t be with you anymore, but at least he had a way to make sure you were okay, at least he had Felix.  

So, Hyunjin used his last hail Mary and messaged him to see if he would want to get something to eat and talk, only to be eagerly surprised when Felix had agreed. So here Hyunjin sat, in a pizza restaurant that Felix had picked out, his eyes focused on the cream-colored table. His hands holding onto each other while his arms rested on his shaky legs. What would Felix say? Hyunjin wondered. He wanted to ask your dance partner how you were, if you were doing okay, what you were thinking about when it came to your relationship, did you feel like a part of you was missing too. He couldn’t even touch the pizza he had ordered. He felt nauseous waiting for Felix. His breath was shaky when he heard the chair in front of him scoot out. His eyes slowly lift to be greeted by the warmest smile. Hyunjin could see why you went to Felix every day for comfort, from just his friendly smile alone Hyunjin felt himself calming down. “S-so, uh, y-you're probably wondering why I asked you to come here” Hyunjin stammered. “Well, technically I picked this place but sure I guess, I figured you probably wanted to talk about Y/N you know?” Felix chuckled as he reached for Hyunjin’s soda, “You don’t mind, do you?” Felix questioned, Hyunjin stared at him in shock and shook his head no.  

“No-well—yes, I want to talk about her but it's not just for that reason!” Hyunjin explained nervously “Look, I know how she feels right now and I know I’m the reason for that, but I just want---no I need to explain. I don’t know if she’d forgive me, but I fucking hate that I hurt her and I just-I need her back. She was the best thing that’s happened to me and I fucked it all up and I don’t know how to fix it and I hate myself for not knowing what to do right now. In the past I would have just said fuck it and moved on and just forgot about her. ----sigh----but I can’t. I can’t just move on; I can’t just act like she never existed. I love her and I need her to know that. I won't fuck this up again if she gave me a chance but she won't talk to me and I feel so fucking lost without her” Hyunjin felt tears well up in his eyes the longer he continued, soon his eyes never left Felix’s face “and you’ve been so nice to me, you don’t know me and you know how badly I've hurt her, and she’s your friend so you should hate me but you came here and-and you let me know that she’s safe. And I know she’s safe when she’s with you. You didn’t have to do any of this but you did and I owe you a lot honestly and I don’t know how to repay you” Felix’s features twist into a cognitive look.  

“Well, the only thing I want, and I think Y/N wants, is the truth of if you did cheat on her with Ye-na” Felix responds stoically

“she’s the only person I'll answer that question to” Hyunjin groans rubbing his temples “If she’d ever talk to me”  

“You ever try just explaining”  

“What do you mean?”  

“I mean, genius, you ever try just texting her your explanation and just hope she reads it?” Felix suggests. Hyunjin sat there with a dumbfounded look on his face “You’re a fucking idiot” Felix groans as Hyunjin shakes his head. Why had he never thought of that? “Instead of wasting your time begging her to talk to you and let you explain. You should just explain. If she responds, she responds, if she doesn’t then, well, at least you explained yourself.”  

______________________________________________________________

You don’t know what you were thinking when you decided clubbing with Karina, especially for the first time, was a terrible idea. The dress Karina put you in was WAY too form fitting and very short. The music was exceptionally loud, vibrating the room with its pulsing beat and the guys were......eh, from trashy pick-up lines, to just grinding against you while you danced. At this moment, you longed for the days where Jisung would flirt with you, at least there was.... well, finesse, if you had to choose a word for it. If you had to give anything to your ex and his friends they definitely knew how to flirt and get a girl to go home with them, and not due to just their devilishly handsome faces, they had an aura around them that spewed confidence and experience. But instead, here you stood, with a handsome guy yet you felt bored. You find yourself comparing him to Hyunjin a lot. He talks about himself a lot, Hyunjin didn’t do that at least he’d seem interested in you when you guys were together; this guy didn’t. You think his name was Ji-Han or Jin-Hwan or something. When he brushes a stray hair out of your face you notice the couple ring on his finger, you pull your head away from his touch when you feel an arm snake around your waist pulling you back toward their figure. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t touch my girlfriend” a familiar deep voice stated from behind you. The guy stood in shock, before Felix pulled you farther down the bar.  You stare at him eyes widen; you bite your lip in embarrassment when you see the scowl on his face.  

You think Felix, may be your guardian angel, you immediately wrap your arms around his neck; thanking him profusely. You felt him shake his head before wrapping his arms around your waist lifting you slightly. “You’re lucky you’re cute” He groans before he lets you go and ruffles your hair. “Why you so mad? Wait! Why are you here? Not that I don’t completely adore you but weren’t you with someone?” you question, his cheeks heat up with a pinkish glow before he shrugs. You gasp “Did you get rejected?”  

“No!” He snaps, his scowl returning.  

“Yongbokie~ say it isn’t so... you got rejected?” You tease.  

His arms quickly wrap around your waist and presses your back against the bar. He brushes his lips against your cheek, you feel your face heat up when he places a soft peck on your cheek. “Do you think I’m the type to get rejected?” He nudges. His face makes its way toward your neck, his lips brushing over it gently. You feel yourself growing wetter by the minute. “Uh-I-I-Aww, Helmet cat got your tongue?” Felix cuts you off as he pulls back. Your eyes form a glare before you shove him back “You’re annoying” you groan. He smiles widely, his eyes forming crescents as he scrunches his nose. “You finally reacted though” He states proudly. Rolling your eyes “Yeah sure” you argue. “You did though...” He whines.  

“Sure, Lix whatever you say” You deny behind red flushed cheeks.  

“Deny it all you want but you want me, Helmet. I know I’m probably your ideal type but you have to control yourself Y/Nie. I’m supposed to be your best friend” He teases. You shake your head at his antics. “You can't kiss me, okay?” he continues. You fake a gag, before shoving him back, and allow your eyes to drift around the room. Though it was just more of Felix’s harmless playful flirting, it still felt wrong to have him so close to you. You knew it was stupid but your heart still longed for Hyunjin. It’s not that you didn’t enjoy Felix touching you, you just wished it was someone else. You hate that you longed for his touch, his lips, his everything. You knew what you had heard from Ye-na but you didn’t know if it was even true. The night you had broken up he said it wasn’t, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t lie to try to get you to stay. You wish you weren’t so.... fragile. The Ye-na situation had derailed you off track and you’re having a damn hard time getting back on it again. Felix was a great guy, he seemed like the type to be loyal if he was to be in a relationship. Sure, he was flirty while single but you also know that before returning to Seoul; he was in a long-term relationship that didn’t end well. So, who could blame him for enjoying the single life. “Can we find Karina?” You plead.  

He nods taking a hold of your hand before leading you through the crowd. “I saw her by the booths before I got you” Felix states. You grasp his hand tightly as you make your way through the horde of sweaty bodies, making sure to avoid any spilling drinks. You couldn’t understand how this could be fun to anyone. You could barely hear anything, there was a cluster fuck of people, and the guys are creeps. You would appreciate the experience but this will not be repeated. You’re pulled out of your thoughts as you collide with Felix’s back. You notice him bent over, laughter spilling from his mouth as he slaps his knee. “Oh, this is too funny!” He cackles as he pulls out his phone and takes repeated pictures. Your eyes follow his line of vision only to be met with Karina placed on someone’s lap, their lips interlocked, her hand pulling his hair. You gasp in shock as they pull away. Your hand smacks over your mouth, “Jisung!” you exclaim as you dash toward the pair “Oh my god! Felix is going to have so much fun with this I’m telling you”  

“Fun!? Dude, its already in the group chat. Yeji and Lia are dying” Felix exclaims between fits of laughter. Karina rolls her eyes “What? The guys are absolutely lame here and at least with Captain Thinks with his dick over here the corny flirting comes with a good reputation in bed.” She shrugs as she lifts herself off Jisung’s lap before leaning over and pressing her lips against Jisung’s once more “I’m going to the bathroom” she waves as she makes her way through the crowd. You take a seat next to Jisung. “So... when did, uh, this happen?” you question. “Honestly, I think like 15 minutes ago. She texted me said she was bored. I asked where she was. She told me. I came and uh next thing you know—Ehm- yeah" Jisung stammered behind blushed cheeks. “Oh, so you came.... alone?” Jisung nods. “that’s brave of you, it's pretty boring now I don’t know how you’d have a good time here” you whine. Jisung chuckles “Cause you’re supposed to be buzzed, doll”  

“I’ve had like 2 drinks” you argue.  

“What? Some fruity mixed drink that’s probably watered down?”  

“So, then what should I drink?”  

A mischievous smile forms on Jisung’s lips “Shots!”

______________________________________________________________

Note to self: Never go clubbing with Jisung again.  

You were drunk.

So, fucking drunk.  

He was right though; you were definitely having fun in the beginning. He lived up to his party reputation and you had the most fun you’ve had in a while. After the first shot, you felt warm as the liquid burned your throat. The second you took in quick succession as per Jisung’s advice. Your fingers felt tingly and the burning sensation wasn’t so bad. The third shot came after about 10 minutes, when the room stopped rocking. You had to give it up to Jisung, he definitely tried to make you pace yourself. But shots four, five, and six came and went while Karina decided she wanted to continue more of what they had started previously and Felix had found a friend for the night.  

You regret not taking his advice as the room began spinning. You stagger your way out the door after sending a quick text to Karina and Felix explaining you were going home and getting an uber. If was cold outside you didn’t know, your body felt so hot. Your hair was way too long as it tickled your lower back. But in your drunken state of mind, you stare at your home screen you have yet to change and you find yourself dialing Hyunjin’s number. “Hell---Hello?!” His voice answers timidly. “Hyunnie~” you slur. “Babe, are you okay?” He inquires. You shake your head “No...Jisung helped me get drunk”  

“He fucking what?!” Hyunjin growls. “Well, he told me to-to go slow but I didn’t it was so much fun Hyunnie. But I miss you so it wasn’t fun” You whine. “I miss you too baby” he confesses “So fucking much” his voice cracks. “I have to go home” you slur, pressing your back against the wall. “Where are you? How are you getting home?” There was concerned laced in his tone. “I don’t know” you shrug to yourself. “You don’t know where you are? Or you don’t know how you’re getting home?” He questions worriedly. “No, I’m at octagon club. I told Karina and Felix I'd get an uber but—sigh--I want to walk but the world is spinning.”  

“You’re not walking home” He declares. “I’ll be there in 5”  

______________________________________________________________

Hyunjin was going to kill Han Jisung. He was as good as dead, not only had you gotten completely fucking blasted by what Hyunjin could tell. But his dear best friend has yet to be heard from. Hyunjin raged the whole way to the club, running almost every stop sign he came across. Hyunjin wanted to strangle Jisung a fuck ton more when he saw you sat on the ground, your head in your hands as you continued to struggle remain upright. Hyunjin barely came to a stop before he was putting the car in park and rushing toward you with a call of your name. His heart stopped in his chest as your head whipped up and you greeted him with the most beautiful smile.  

“Hyunnie~!” you called as you reached out to him struggling to lift yourself off the ground. He quickly rushed to your side; taking a hold of your hand before wrapping his arms around your waist pulling you into his frame. He was taken aback when he felt your arms snake around his neck, you press your chest against his. He can’t help himself but to tighten his grip on you. He felt everything stop. Fuck everything about you was absolutely perfect. He buries his face in your neck, he sighs. “Wow! Your hairs black!” you exclaim surprise in your tone.He can only nod in response. He knows it's wrong, you were drunk and you 100% did not want to see him let alone have him touch you but, you were so fucking adorable and he missed this so fucking much that he needed to hold onto it for as long as he could. Fuck Jisung, fuck this club, and Hyunjin won't begin to think about all the guys that probably thought they had a chance with you in this dress cause holy fuck! For this moment, things were back to the way they were before. He hated that he had to end it, but you needed to get home and out of the cold. You were probably so drunk you didn’t notice how freezing it was.  

His fingers brushed your hair away from your face, placing his hands over your cheeks. “It's so cold out baby let me take you home, hmm?” He urged. You nod in response. Your fingers played with his as he walked you to his car. You whined as he removed his hand from yours “I have to open the door, princess” he whispers as he softly strokes your cheek before helping you into the passenger seat and buckling you up; while turning to close the door, he feels your hand wrap around his forearm. “Where are you going?” you query, worry filling your eyes. A sad smile forms on his lips, he caresses your cheek eyes finding yours. “I have to drive, silly girl” he explains softly. Your eyes stay connected for what feels like forever. He wants to remember your face right now forever. Your eyes telling of your love for him, the light pink blush gracing your cheeks. You were absolutely beautiful.

Hyunjin contemplates just closing the door and just going into the driver's seat as he feels the familiar feeling of your soft, velvet lips. He holds back a moan at the unexpected kiss, but responds almost instantly. Hyunjin missed this too, the feeling of your lips on his. Your mouths move in sync. Your tongue pokes out from your lips making its way into Hyunjin’s mouth and moan as your tongues connect. A sound that sends a shock straight down and suddenly his pants felt exceptionally tight. He was lost in the feeling, so much so that he almost forgot, you wouldn’t want this if you were sober; but as your fingers gripped his hair and he heard the familiar whines he knew this is where the line needed to be drawn. The last thing Hyunjin wanted to do was take advantage of your drunken state. And as much as he truly did miss how amazing the sex was, he knew that you’d never talk to him again if he continued; so, reluctantly, He pulls away and makes his way over to drivers' side and gets in.

The ride to your dorm was awkward to say the least. He had so much he wanted to say, apologies sit on the tip of his tongue. At this moment, Felix’s words rang through his head. Hyunjin felt as if he should just explain. You were sitting right there; sure, you were drunk and your reaction probably wouldn’t be the best right now but at least he’d get the chance to explain. He could feel your eyes burning into him and he wasn’t sure if you could tell but Hyunjin’s heart was racing. He practically jumped when he felt your hand snake onto his thigh making its way toward his member. Reacting quickly his hand wraps around your wrist “Whoa! What are you doing?” He exclaims. Did Hyunjin want you to practically beg for him again? Of course. But you were drunk and he was probably the last person you’d want to sleep with when sober. He loved you too much to let you do something you’d probably regret. “I miss you...” You pout. His resolve almost melts when he sees the puppy dog look in your eyes.  

“I miss you too baby but you don’t want to do this right now....” He whispers. He thanks God as he pulls into your dorm parking lot. “You’re home” he states softly as he takes your hand into his. You stare at your dorm before your eyes drift back to him. He notices the tears in your eyes, your hands are shaky. “What’s wrong?” He inquires. “I don’t want to go...I’m so fucking hurt-you hurt me so bad.” You cried “But I don’t want to go” Your eyes connected; He felt his heart break all over again “You don’t understand how fucking sorry I am. I love you I swear I love you so fucking much, I never meant to hurt you baby. I’m so fucking sorry” His voice cracks as he holds your hand tightly against his chest. His eyes never leave yours. “But we can’t have this conversation right now, you’re drunk you need sleep. I promise tomorrow, I’ll tell you everything.” He promises. Your eyes flash back to your dorm, before you nod.  

“Tomorrow...”  

______________________________________________________________

You regret getting so drunk last night.

You had a massive migraine and you felt so fucking nauseous. But at least you could still remember most of your night, besides the walk to your dorm. Were you embarrassed? No not really.  

Did you regret it?......you weren’t sure. You had definitely appreciated Hyunjin not accepting your advances. BUT were you feeling up to talking to him today? No, and not cause you were still angry at this point you were more confused; but because you were 100% hungover. So, you instead of immediately texting Hyunjin to set up a time to talk, you took some Tylenol and rushed to the campus café. You quickly regretted running as you collide with the petite figure of someone coming out of the door. “I’m so sorry I should have been paying attention” You apologize reaching toward the girl, freezing in shock as you come face to face with Ye-na She went to snap a response before she mouths an ‘oh’ and taking your hand. With a shaky breath your grasp on her tightens “C-can we talk?” you ask shyly. She nods with a hesitance following you back into the café.  

The vibe was awkward and off as you both sipped your coffee silently, eyes looking everywhere around the room but at each other. “So, what’d you want to talk about?” “So did you know I was in the room that night?” You both question at the same time. You giggle at the timing. “That was impeccable timing” Ye-na chuckles before taking a sip of her coffee before continuing “But to answer your question, honestly, no. I didn’t.” she sighs. You nod in response before taking another sip of your coffee “Woul-would you have still said what you said if you did?”  

She ponders on your question for a moment before she lets out a heavy sigh “If you want the truth?” you nod in response “well then, no I wouldn’t have.” She answers matter of factly. You look at her confused “Why not?”  

“Well, the night you over heard me a few minutes before Hyunjin had kinda lost his shit on me. Again. Told me to leave him alone and to stop calling and texting him because what happened was a mistake and he loved you so he needed me to stop” She confesses. “But you said---oh I know what you heard, but he told me that months ago. Like right around the summer, I’m not gonna lie and say what I did was right too Y/N. And even though, me and Hyunjin had what we had. I never wanted to be the one to tell you that. I’m pretty surprised you haven’t lost your shit on me yet honestly”

You shrug. “You weren’t my boyfriend.”  

“So?” She counters before crossing her arms over her chest “Not to be a bitch or anything but I 100% knew about you; and just didn’t care honestly. See, here’s your problem Y/N cause obviously no one will give it to you straight. I’m not the only girl Hyunjin’s been with while he was with you. His reputation follows him and every single one of us knew what it was. Just like you probably did before you two made things official. I didn’t care he had a girlfriend, I didn’t care about your feelings, and I didn’t care if you gave a shit or not. I wanted a good time and he gave that to me for a bit and eventually I started caring. I hate myself for what I did but still I never wanted you to find out, especially when we were put in the same class. Like let's be real here no one would ever want to admit to the girlfriend of the guy you're hanging out with that you got rejected.”  

Your mouth hangs open at her honesty. You weren’t sure what to say, and while you appreciated her brazenness, you felt your blood boiling. “So is side chick your full-time gig or are you just on call?” you snap. She chuckles, almost to herself before her face falls flat. She crosses her right leg over her left before letting her arm fall into her lap holding up her chin “See, I knew you had some fire in you. Look, you asked I answered what you do with that is beyond me.” Your hangover long forgotten, and a fire in your eyes. “So what? You wanted to just be on the side until you got bored?” she shakes her head “Oh no, I’ll be real here, I saw the way Hyunjin looked at you. I knew at some point he’d realize what a dumbass he was being and it’d eventually stop; but, I was enjoying it while it lasted. He called things off months ago” To say you were now beyond confused would be an understatement, and while her reputation is definitely accurate about her bitchiness, she seemed honest. You heard something you weren’t supposed to, something that set the spark that ignited the flame behind your rage that night.  

“So, is that all?...or can I go?”

______________________________________________________________

Yeji and Lia were quite the pair.  

Apart from you and Karina, they were absolutely hilarious when they got together, they always seemed to make you laugh; and with Karina completely in the wind and flaking on your group's traditional hangover chill day-the first one in your honor by the way-you were left partner less until Yeji came over with Felix in tow. You and Lia couldn’t contain your laughter as Yeji dragged Felix into your living room with Karina’s matching bright lilac hairband across his head. “Oh, no fair why am I purple? Lia’s green?” Felix whines as he stomps his foot in place. “What’s wrong with purple?” Lia questions “and this is aquamarine” she declares with a point to her headband. “Purples for girls switch with me” He cries. “No!” Lia proclaims.

“Pleeeeeeaaaaaaassssssseeeee”

“Hmmmmmm......No”

“Pwease”

“How bout no”  

“Pl--Holy Fuck! Felix if you say please again my head will explode. Switch with me” You growl, pulling your headband off and holding it out toward him. “Ooo Pink!” He exclaims excitedly. Yeji giggles as she finishes setting up her portable projector. “Felix?” she calls. His eyes are bright as he smiles in her direction “Yeah?” “You’re adorable” She smiles as she makes her way over to your couch ruffling his hair as she takes a seat next to him. He forms his hands in the shape of a heart before separating them and placing each half of the heart on his cheeks.  “Ahhh! Felix-oppa! I love you!  you’re the best idol in the world” You tease. Lia grips your hands as she joins in on your teasing. “Felix-oppa! Give us a song oppa!” you laugh as you and Lia jump in circles. “Ha.Ha.Ha. You’re both top tier comedians” Felix groans. “Lix, what do you mean? You literally rejected that scout from JYP” You ask whispering the JYP as you release yourself from Lia and make your way over to the couch. “I mean I don’t think being an idol would be for me”  

“Oh, come on Lix it was a joke” Lia whines “Yeah besides you could definitely be an idol. You’re an amazing dancer, you got the image for it” You mention. “And personality” Yeji adds. “Yeah! You have an awesome personality for an idol too, your fans would probably call you something adorable like sunshine or something cause of your personality” Felix blushes, bringing his hands to his face hiding. “Stop~!” He whines in embarrassment. You roll your eyes “Fine....so what are we doing first Yeji.” a mischievous smile forms on her lips “Well......” she giggles before she pulls out 4 mics from her bag.  

“OH, COME ON!” Felix shouts

______________________________________________________________

“Baby, Nal teojil geotcheoreom anajwo, Geuman saenggakae mwoga geuri eoryeowo Geojinmalcheoreom kiss-haejwo naega neoege, Majimak sarangin geotcheoreom Majimakcheoreom (Yeah) ma-ma-majimakcheoreom (Yeah) Majimak bamin geotcheoreom love Majimakcheoreom (Yeah) ma-ma-majimakcheoreom (Yeah) Naeil ttawin eomneun geotcheoreom love” You guys sang. You laughed internally as you and Felix also did the choreography and ended up facing each other in Lisa’s part of the choreography. You smile in victory as the words WINNER flash across yours and Felix’s screen.  

“What’s the next song?” Felix giggles to Yeji. She shrugs “I don’t know it's your turn to choose Lixie” she states as she hands him her phone so he can go through the catalog. You take a seat on the couch with a heavy breath as Lia takes a seat next to you. “I don’t know how that boy has so much energy after last night” you groan. Lia gives a small giggle “He’s not human that’s why” she suggests. You ponder her statement for a moment “True” you both chuckle to yourselves. “But I actually just wanted to see how you were doing you know? You still haven’t really told me how your talk with Ye-na went. Or if you are actually going to meet with Hyunjin later”  

You sigh at her words “Well, I’m okay honestly. And my talk with Ye-na went.......fine.”  

“What do you mean?”  

“I mean she lives up to her reputation of being a grade A bitch.” You explain “But at least I got what I think is the truth from her” Lia stares at you dumbfounded. “And what about Hyunjin?” You shrug “What about him? Honestly, I was going to talk to him tonight which honestly, I’m not particularly ready to see him, especially after what I did last night....”  

“Girl what did you do last night?!”  

“Nothing crazy, just tried to get Hyunjin to sleep with me” You groan in embarrassment. “YOU SLEPT WITH HIM?” Lia exclaims. Yeji’s and Felix’s eyes flash to you “Slept with who?” Yeji questions. You shake your head rapidly “No one. Nothing” you give Lia a glare, she sinks in her seat with her hand placed over her mouth. “Y/N who’d you sleep with?” Yeji urged. “No one honestly I just TRIED to sleep with someone and thank god they weren’t an asshole and knew I was drunk” You explain your glare not leaving Lia’s face. She mouthed a sorry before Twice’s Dance the Night Away played through your speakers. Felix jumped as he quickly paused the song “Sorry.” You, Lia, and Yeji laughed at the sudden interruption.  

“Felix you’re so cute”  

______________________________________________________________

Hyunjin couldn’t help but be on edge all day.  

You hadn’t texted or called and its almost 5, he felt himself slowly falling into insanity. His leg shaking rapidly as he checked his phone for what felt like the hundredth time today. Why hadn’t you texted? Hyunjin felt his heart racing as Changbin and Seungmin, Hyunjin’s dorm mate, shouted as they played their game. Hyunjin was nervous at how things would go, and while he knew the chances of you forgiving him were slim, he hoped you would give him another chance. He knew how badly he continuously fucked up before but he’d be different. He hopes you can remember how things had changed before you had left him, that you can see he does love you and he’d never do anything else to ruin it.  

He watched as the clock went up a minute. Then another, then another before his screen timed out. “Why don’t you just call her?” Changbin suggested pulling Hyunjin out of his thoughts. “Huh?” He called in confusion. Changbin and Seungmin look at each other before laughing. “Call her” The older male suggests. “I have remember? She doesn’t answer” He responds sarcasm dripping off his words. “Wasn’t that before she agreed to talk to you today though?” Seungmin asks. Hyunjin nods slowly “I don’t want to harass her though, what if she changed her mind?”  

“Then she’s a bitch for not letting you know” Seungmin snaps.

“Hey! Don’t talk about her like you know her” He warns.  

Seungmin rolls his eyes, before focusing back on the game. “I’m just saying she got your hopes up for nothing if she changed her mind, the least she could do is at least let you know that you two won't be talking today and she needs more time”  

“You act like she owes him anything honestly” Changbin mumbles, but Hyunjin heard it. He knew his friend was mad at how things played out, Changbin was big on loyalty and honesty. Even though, Hyunjin was one of his best friends it didn’t mean Changbin would hide his anger at Hyunjin’s treatment of you during the beginning of your relationship. The night you ended things whilst Jisung comforted him, Changbin tried to contain his laughter. His ‘I told you so’s’ became a daily routine for Hyunjin. Hyunjin couldn’t blame him though, Changbin had warned him to stop messing with you and take things seriously. Hyunjin could only wish he could go back and listen to him. If he did, he wouldn’t be in the situation he’s in now. You’d still be his. He’d still be able to call you if he just wanted to hear your voice. He wishes he could go back and kick his past self’s ass. Scream at him how fucking terrible it is without you. Changbin was right, you didn’t owe him anything, so Hyunjin sat quiet staring at your contact hoping something---anything would come through from it.  

Hyunjin’s gaze was pulled away by Changbin snatching his phone. Panic filled his chest “Wait! What are you doing?” he called as he went to grab his phone back. Seungmin jumps from his place on the couch standing between him and Changbin. “I’m calling Y/N” Changbin confesses as he presses the phone to his ear. “NO! No” He cries “Please dude I’m not kidding----Hello? Y/N? Yeah, its Changbin” Hyunjin’s eyes widen as he can hear your voice through the phone “Hang up! I’m not kidding Hang up” He pleaded tears practically blinding him as he struggled against Seungmin hold. “Oh yeah Hyunjin is right here, yeah I mean it’s a little weird I guess but I don’t have your number so...” Changbin winked at him, Hyunjin felt as if he would combust. “Oh, I mean he’s kinda tied up right now but I could definitely get him to meet you there.” Hyunjin froze in his place as Changbin continued “Yeah I think he’ll be there before that but yeah that works” “What’s she saying?” He whispers, Changbin holds his finger up. “Okay, but you should definitely text me Y/Nie~ who else is going to help me with.......you know what” The male whined.  

“Help you with what?” Hyunjin whispered.

Changbin shushed him “Well it was nice talking to you I’ll see you later bye Y/Nie~” Hyunjin stared at Changbin dumbfounded as he hung up the phone and handed it to him. “You guys got chips?” Changbin questioned casually. Hyunjin’s lips parted as he stood there with his phone in his hand, staring at Changbin. “Well....” He urged. Changbin looked at him confused.  

“Well, what?”  

“What did she say?”  

“She wants to talk to you” Changbin shrugged.  

Hyunjin’s eyes widen “And you were going to what? Just not tell me?!” He quickly started looking for his keys and wallet. Grabbing a bucket hat and hoodie in the process. The muscular male chuckled to himself as he crossed his arms over his chest. “I was, when it was a few minutes before she said cause, I knew If I said anything you’d race out the door like you’re trying to do now besides you don’t even know where she wants you to meet her” Hyunjin stops in his tracks, “Where?” Changbin shrugs, Hyunjin pouts and stomps his foot “Tell meeeeee” he whines. And while Hyunjin knows he sounds pathetic; he’s not going to waste any more time. If there was a way to fix things then he was going to do it. But with his friend knowing him way too well and you saying a specific time Hyunjin knew he would have to wait. With that in mind, he stomped his way over to the couch. A pout on his lips, he crossed his arms over his chest and stared daggers at Changbin. Hyunjin wasn’t sure how much time went by as Changbin played on his phone ignoring Hyunjin’s death glare.  

“Her apartment, 5 minutes” He states with a smug smirk on his lips and a wink.  

“5 MINUTES!?” Hyunjin cries as he jumps from the couch and rushes toward the door.

“YOU ACT LIKE YOU WONT BE THERE IN TWO!!” He hears Changbin call as he sprints out the door.

______________________________________________________________

You paced back and forth as the clock got closer and closer to 6.  

Your heart was performing a full drum solo in your chest, your palms were sweaty and you felt like you were underwater. While you found it odd that Changbin had called you from Hyunjin’s phone you were grateful for him being the one to actually let Hyunjin know when to come talk. You had put it off for most of the day and after your conversation with Ye-na you were still utterly confused on what the entire truth was. You were happy Lia was willing to hang out at Yeji’s place while you and Hyunjin talked. You were also exceptionally grateful for Karina for having dropped off a bottle of vodka and encouraged you to do a shot; cause while you did feel anxious, at least you still felt brave enough to have this conversation. You weren’t sure what Hyunjin would say and you didn’t know what your relationship would be after tonight. There were two things you were sure about 1. Your relationship with Hyunjin was toxic and things would have to change drastically if you were to take him back. And 2. you still loved him despite the way he had treated you; you still loved him. You poured another shot, along with drinking you’ve picked up another bad habit since your break up with Hyunjin, smoking. And no, not something disgusting like cigarettes but you do find yourself lighting up a blunt and taking a couple of drags here and there.  

You enjoyed the calming feeling that came from marijuana. With your anxiety through the roof and having had a panic attack in front of him, Yeonjun from your dance class hooked you up with his guy. For the first day or two, you only smoked with Yeonjun in his dorm. But when Felix began questioning the nature of your friendship with Choi Yeonjun, knowing his bad boy reputation, you began to slowly distance yourself from Yeonjun. Felix found out shortly after about your little habit but promised not to say anything to anyone else. You found yourself surprised when your new smoking buddy became Felix. Only smoking when you felt huge bouts of anxiety coming on and you needed to calm down. Your pulled away from your thoughts as a series of rapid knocks came to your door. You jumped in a panic quickly putting the blunt out on your tongue before stashing it away under a magazine on the coffee table. “Shit” You groaned as you tried to fan the smoke away. You rush to the door almost tripping over your shoes before you pull the door open with a sigh. You stare down your ex as your chest heaves, you notice him leaning against the door frame struggling to catch his breath “You, okay? You look like you ran a marathon” Hyunjin struggled to get out in-between gasps.  

“You’re one to talk” You counter gesturing to him. You notice suspicion in his eyes “What’s that smell?” your heart sinks in your chest. “What? Oh, yeah Felix got me into those incense things recently” you lie “trust me babe I’ve been to plenty of parties to know what weed smells like so try that again” Hyunjin calls your bluff. You swallow nothing, you find yourself growing irritated at the smug smirk on his lips. When you were together you would have immediately cracked and probably told him everything, but now, oh now you wanted to whip that smirk off his face “Are you going to keep interrogating me? Or are we going to talk about what we actually need to talk about?” You snap. “And don’t act like you have a right to ask me anything personal right now” His whole confident demeanor is washed away by your words; you notice the panic in his eyes as he stands straight; the smirk no longer on his lips instead there sat a small pout. “Fine...can I come in or is that question too personal too?”  You roll your eyes before stepping to the side and allowing him entry.  

“Soo, where is it then huh?” He asks casually.  

“Where’s what?”  

He chuckles at your question “Nothing” his eyes drift around the room. You and Lia hadn’t changed much in the time since he’s last been here, beside the smell of marijuana, it was pretty much the same. He notices the one magazine out of place and glances in your direction. “What? What are you looking for?” You question, irritation leaks into your tone. “Your weed” He shrugs. You two stand across the room for what felt like hours, just staring at each other. Your eyes in a battle with one another, eventually you realize he’s not going to let this go and you wanted answers so with a heavy heart you roll your eyes before making your way over to the coffee table and toss the magazine to the side. “There. Happy?” You groan frustrated before falling back onto your couch. “Ecstatic” He replies sarcastically. “Like come on Y/N you really thought I'd be okay with you doing that?”  

“You don’t do weed, Hyunjin”  

“That’s not my fucking point Y/N and you know it! Why are you smoking in the first place?”  

You couldn’t help but laugh “If you gave any of a shit during our relationship, you’d know I have an anxiety disorder.” You lean forward grabbing the vodka bottle and pour yourself a shot. “I did give a shit.” “What? When I broke up with you? I mean come on” You toss the shot back swallowing it whole “You didn’t give a shit not for a long time” Hyunjin stood in place dumbfounded. This is not how this conversation was supposed to go, but right now at least it was something, and even though he was raging at the idea of you being high right now he had to give it you; you were right, he didn’t know you had an anxiety disorder. Why didn’t he know that? “Look I know I fucked up, but I care about you and I know what can happen if you’re high and just not paying attention”  

“I smoke when I’m home or with.... someone I’m not stupid.”  

“Someone? Who Felix?”  

“No....just...someone”  

“Well, someone is going to get their ass kicked so Y/N needs to let me know who”  

“Why?”  

Hyunjin’s jaw was clenched, you’ve never been this difficult and it was hard for him not to let his jealousy show. He needed to know who the fuck got you to smoke and he needed to teach them to stay in their place. “Fuck Y/N! Just tell me!” He growls, his fists clenched. “No! I don’t have to tell you shit! You're going to ruin my connect. Why don’t you go question Ye-na or any of the other sluts you cheated on me with?” Hyunjin had nothing to say to that. He stared at you with hurt in his eyes “It wasn’t like that” he mumbled “So what was it like then?” He wasn’t sure how to answer that question. While he was willing to answer any questions you had he himself wasn’t sure what it was like honestly. “I don’t know.... just not this fucking picture you have in your mind about things” He grumbled. “You don’t know what I'm thinking right now” You retort. “You’re right. I don’t know what the fuck you’re thinking right now! You've been naïve but you’ve never been fucking stupid” He argued. “So, I’m stupid now?!” You cross your arms over your chest “When you’re smoking weed and getting black out drunk? yes!”  

“I wasn’t black out dr----You called me! Just fucking stop Y/N. You’re doing stupid shit and you’re going to get yourself hurt. Bad.” He cut you off. He didn’t understand why you were being this way and whilst he was supposed to be explaining the Ye-na situation, he couldn’t help but be angry at your recklessness. “You’d know all about that right?” you snap. “YOU ACT LIKE I MEANT TO HURT YOU” He shouted. You reach for the bottle again but Hyunjin’s quicker and snatches it from your grasp. “You’ve drank enough for the past two days don’t you think?” He growls as he places the bottle down on your shelf.  You stare daggers at him in response. A smirk on your face as you reach for your blunt and put it to your lips “Fucking stop! Y/N”  

“Oh please! Look at you, you’re acting all high and mighty. Your hypocrisy is showing Hyunjin” you challenge as you light the blunt. Your eyes not leaving his. “I haven’t smoked for a while Y/N. I haven’t done anything I used to do for a while” he confesses, realizing there were more important things to talk about. He hopes you catch the double meaning behind his words. You sat quietly taking in a long drag before releasing the smoke. “Is that supposed to impress me or something? I don’t think you realize how much this whole thing fucked me up---How you fucked me up, Hyunjin!” you exclaim, quickly getting to your feet. “Fuck please just-just tell me what to do then?! I don’t know what you fucking want! I’m trying and the more I try the more you pull away! You think this shit is easy for me? It’s not! You ripped my fucking heart out too you know? Instead of just talking to me or even letting me say fucking anything you ended things and that’s only because I found you that night!” He growls crossing his arms over his chest. His eyes are filled with fire. “Oh boo-fucking-Hoo your girlfriend found out you cheated and dumped you how fucking sad” you retort “Do you need a hug?” you couldn’t contain your sarcasm. You were beyond livid. How dare he sit there and act like he was an innocent bystander.  

“Can you be fucking serious for one minute? fucking Christ.”  

“Can you be honest for one minute?”  

“What?! You wanna know if I cheated on you?!” He argues, you stare at him with fury behind your eyes “no I kno---Yeah! I fucked Ye-na…..months ago! When I didn’t give a fuck about you or this relationship!” He cuts you off, you notice the anger dissipating from him being replaced with guilt and regret. You’re frozen in place and Hyunjin makes his way around the coffee table and places himself in front of you, his hands firmly wrapped around your arms.  “But I haven’t cheated on you in months, I’ve been with no one else in almost a year! I know its fucked up, I know I’m wrong for what I did but I changed.” His voice cracks as your eyes drift around the room, you could feel your anger leaving you as well, whilst he confesses. “What changed then?” you question, your voice is almost inaudible. “You. Well, I wanted to change for you. I’ll tell you everything you want to know but please just at least don’t drink anymore today, okay? I’m not kidding it was really scary to find you like that last night. I know what I did ruined my right to care but I do, I care so fucking much. And I need you to be okay, not amazing, not happy even, but at least okay” His hands find themselves holding your face to make you look at him. Your fingers wrap around his wrist.  

“Hyun, I’m fine....”  

He shakes his head in response “Now who’s the one that won't be honest? You’re not fine and I know I’m part of the reason for that. I should have been better to you, I was confused about how I felt and I-I---sigh----I fucked up, so fucking bad. But once I realized how I felt I tried so hard to fix things and change and just leave that shit behind.” you stare at him in shock. You find your legs growing wobbly and your chest is tightening. You can feel your breathing getting heavier and heavier the more Hyunjin talks. You remove Hyunjin’s grasp on you and take a seat on the couch, you knew your anxiety would be off the charts. “Ca-can I ask you something then?” You ask, your voice is small. “Anything” Hyunjin sits on the table, you give him a small glare “Is me answering question more important than your stupid rule?” he argues before you can scold him for sitting on your table. “Did I mean anything to you? Like at all? I’m not going to lie I was so fucking confused for such a long time and I’m really tired of it.” Hyunjin’s hand ran over his face before finding its way to the back of his neck. “You mean everything to me....” His words are practically whispers. “So why---I can’t answer that. I promised myself I wouldn’t lie to you so I won't answer that question” He cut you off.  

“You said you’d answer everything”  

“I said you could ask me anything, please, just know things are different now than they were, okay?”  

“Hyunjin I need to know....”  

“I can tell you how I feel now, I don’t feel the same way anymore so why does it matter?”

There they were again. The same question he always asked; does it matter? And for once you have a genuine answer “Yes it matters.” He sighs in response, grabbing the blunt that went out long ago from your hand and the lighter. You stare at him as he lights it and takes a long hit off it. You notice the way his hands are shaky and tears well up in his eyes. “Fine, honestly, when this all started, I didn’t really care. ---obviously---just listen. Y/N. I didn’t care and not because of you but because you know how I felt about relationships.” He confesses. “So, why’d even ask me out in the first place? In case you forgot Hyunjin, the whole reason we were even in a relationship was because you initiated it.” You question, puzzled. “I-I know I did, I got jealous honestly...---of who? I was only hooking up with you at the time” You cut him off “Minho and a little Han but mostly Minho” He states honestly. “Huh?” now you were really confused, why Minho? He was your dance partner last year and was the best dancer of 3rd year. But you two were no more than acquaintances at most and while you did spend a lot of time with him last year it was always about dance.  

“There was a rumor going around that Minho was going to confess and ask you out....”  

“And so, you asked first? So, he couldn’t?”  

Hyunjin nods in response, “I know it's stupid, and we were hooking up so I should’ve trusted that you liked me but I was insanely fucking jealous and it just happened. But I don’t regret it, I fell in love with you and I want to show you things would be different. I ended things with Ye-na almost as soon as they happened and—fuck—I know how badly I fucked up. I just want to fix things, I want to be with you, I feel so lost without you. I love you and I’ll make you trust me again.” You felt your heart clench at the softness in his tone. He seemed scared, he kept fidgeting as he allowed the blunt to go out and placed it on your table beside him. His breathe was shaky as he explained. “Would you have ever told me?” You ask “a-about anything?” he shakes his head “If I knew for a fact that you wouldn’t have broken up with me then yes but otherwise, I never wanted you to find out.”  

“Why?”

“Huh?”  

“Why wouldn’t you tell me?”  

“Because look what happened when you found out! Fuck I lost you and that was the whole reason I stopped everything with everyone but you because I didn’t want to lose you but Ye-na told you whatever she told you that night and I didn’t know what to do. You weren’t answering my messages and I was fucking panicking because I just wanted to get you out of there because she was fucking pissed. But she saw you first---I still don’t understand how everything happened---all I know is that losing you has been the worst thing that’s ever happened to me right now and I just-I want to be with you. I can be better; I’ll do whatever you want. I can make you happy.” He cried, he held onto your hands. Tears stream down his face, you stare at him sadly “It wasn’t just the cheating, Hyunjin. You can’t say you didn’t act like I wasn’t a burden. I know you said things would change but how can I be sure of that? For a long time, things were…. bad and I don’t want to be hurt again” you state hesitantly. “I won’t—I’ll be better I can help you trust me. I can love you the right way. I’ve never done this before but I’ll figure it out for you. Anything. Please just-just take me back, you don’t have to completely forgive me but please tell me I didn’t ruin things forever. Fuck I need to know you still love me, please tell me you still love me” He pleaded, he was on his knees his eyes never leaving yours. Rivers of tears flow down his angelic face.  

Your heart racing, you remove your hand from his, caressing his cheek wiping tears from their descent. “of course, I still love you. But I’m so fucking hurt and I don’t know if I could trust you.” He shakes his head “N-no do-don’t say that please. You can trust me. I’ll prove to you that you can please just give me a chance. I won’t hurt you again” he begs reaching into his pocket and unlocking his phone before shoving it in your hands. “You can go through it. Everything. And you can do that until you trust me again. I will do everything I can to be with you again.” You stare at the device in your hands, you notice his wallpaper. A selfie you had sent him a few months ago from your dance practice with Felix for the showcase. You felt butterflies fluttering in your stomach as you locked the device and handed it back to him “I-I don’t want to do that. I’m not that kind of person, Hyun and as much as I want to try things again, I can’t do that until I can trust you again.” Hyunjin buried his face in your neck, his arms wrapping around your waist. You felt his tears on your shoulder as he held you. “I can’t-I can’t lose you give me a chance just one chance please” He begged.

“Hyun...”  

He pulls back slightly, your eyes connect. Your faces centimeters apart. “You’re everything to me....” He whispers pressing his forehead against yours. “I won’t fuck this up again. I need you” Your bottom lip finds its way between your teeth. You hate how just him being close could affect you so badly. “I-I-I do-don’t know.... Hyun, I love you b-but I’m scared honestly. How can you know that yo-you won’t cheat on me again or something? I can’t deal with being hurt like that again” You profess. “I’ll give you my passwords, you can have the code to my phone, anything---everything I don’t care give me a chance please, you saw that I was changing babe you know I can make you happy. I did once, I can do it again. Better. I love you I want to give you all of me please” He begged. You weren’t sure what to say. You wanted to be with him, fuck you only wanted to be with him. Your heart ached for him every day since you had broken up, but you felt like it could also be a big mistake. You stared at him for a moment, everything about him was objectively the same. He still had the same flawless skin, the same seductive look in his eye; even when he wasn’t trying to have it, the same plush kissable pouty lips, but something was different and you weren’t entirely sure what, and whilst his new black hair had been quite the surprise last night. You knew that was definitely not what was different. But you definitely wanted to find out.  

You felt your heart race as you tilt your chin up connecting your lips. You felt butterflies fluttering in your gut as you feel that familiar spark. Hyunjin sat in shock for a second before he responded quickly. His heart soared as he felt your lips mold into his, his hand finding its way to your waist as he deepened the kiss parting your lips with his tongue. You open your mouth accepting his tongues exploration. He loved that you always allowed him dominance in your relationship, never once battling to be in charge. He missed your taste so much his mouth practically watered as your tongues dance around in your mouth. Your fingers find their way into his midnight locks.  

You both find yourselves sprawled across the couch, your back pressed against the cushions as Hyunjin straddled you; your legs wrapped around his waist as you devoured each other's mouths. A small moan escapes from your throat as Hyunjin grinds his hips into yours. His lips make their way to your throat. “H-Hyun...” You moan. “Tell me you’re mine” He begs “Please, baby?” You feel your panties growing wet “A-all yours, Hyunnie” Hyunjin could practically cry at your words; He presses his lips against yours roughly, putting every ounce of emotion he could into the kiss. “I love you” He confesses as he pulls away stroking your hair behind your ear. “Fuck... you’re so fucking beautiful baby” you feel your cheeks heat up, you bury your face in his neck. “Stoooopppp” you whine. “No, I’m so fucking happy right now baby” He smiles adjusting you both so you were straddling his lap. His hands find their way to your thighs, stroking them up and down, lovingly. You giggle at his actions, “You’re something else”  

“Tell me you love me” He pouts.  

“Hyun...”

“Tell me!”  

“Hyunnie...”  

“Baby~ Tell me you love mee”  

You roll your eyes at his whining. A smile placed firmly on your lips as he stared at you with a pout. “Fuck you’re so cute I love you too” you break. A wide smile forms on his lips his arms wrap around your torso pulling you into his chest. “I won’t fuck up this time. I promise baby” “I hope not, I’m really scared still, Hyun” You confess. “I know baby, but I know what it's like to be without you now. I’m not doing it again; you’re stuck with me. All I see is you now baby” He admits shyly. you kiss him in response, grinding your hips into his. You almost jump as you feel his hard member against your clothed core. His hands find their way to your hips holding you in place “Fuck, you can’t do that” He warns. You look at him with a pout. “Why not?”  

“Because, baby, you just can’t right now” He states.  

“But...” you kiss his neck seductively, nibbling and sucking on his sweet spot; you felt his grip on you grow tighter. “It’s been so long, and I want you so bad right now” You hear him sigh “Fuck...” He whispers under his breath. “Baby, stop, please I want to do things the right way” He can feel his resolve breaking the more you continue. If there was one thing Hyunjin knew for sure, it was that the last thing he truly wanted in this world right now was for you to stop. “Don’t you want me?” you question. “More than anything else in the world right now” He missed you, in every way. Not only has it been a really fucking long time since he last was even able to think about sex with anyone but his hand, but in that time, he found himself always feeling exceptionally heartbroken every time he thought about sex with anyone but you. If anyone wanted it right now, Hyunjin definitely did, but he wanted to do things right this time. His past self would hate him for what he was trying to do without question.  

“Please....daddy, I can be so good for you.” you pleaded. “F-fuck...I-I know you can baby, you always are.” He soothes, rubbing your thigh with his thumb “I need to do things the right way with you, this time” His voice is almost inaudible. You grind yourself against him once more, “whyyyyy~” you whine. You guide his hand up your thigh to your hips and under your shirt placing them on your rubs just under your breasts. Hyunjin’s eyes are stuck on your now partially exposed torso, his mouth waters at the feeling the pressure from your hips are causing on his fully hard member. You find yourself growing more and more aroused as time went on. His bottom lip finds its way between his teeth as you continue grinding against him. “babyyyy stop~” he coos, his cheeks heat up and while he’s used to you being submissive and always eager for sex, he’s never had you literally begging for it before. You just took him back and he wasn’t going to immediately just jump back into things like before. But God did he want to fuck you right now.  

You leaned forward once more kissing his neck, you heard the groans under his breath. You thrived in knowing how badly you were affecting him. “Fuck….” He growled as he wraps his arms around your waist tightly holding you still. He flips the two of you over, pressing his lips to yours before pulling himself off of you. You pout at his actions “what are you doing?” you question, puzzled. “Taking you somewhere to get food, because someone can’t control herself” He teases with a wink. You roll your eyes at him “watch how fast I reject you next time” you mumble as you lift yourself from your couch and make your way toward your room. “I heard that. Don’t play that game with me cause I will definitely win baby. But where are you going?” He states with a raised eyebrow. “To change I can’t go out in this” you gesture to your clothes. You rush into your room closing the door behind you. You make your way into your closet and grab a tight long sleeve and jeans. You notice Hyunjin laying across your bed, his arm placed behind his head a comfortable smile placed on his lips. You toss your clothes at him “you know I closed the door for a reason, right?” you muse. He nods “you know I don’t give a fuck right, I missed you.” He pouts “I had to go two months without even seeing you, you’re not leaving my side for a while.” He declares.  

“I have to sleep and stuff Hyun”  

he shrugs “so? You act like I won’t just not leave.” He tosses your clothes at you before crossing his arms over his chest. You chuckle in response, changing into your clothes. “You act like I’d have a problem with that baby” Hyunjin’s cheeks grow red at your words. “O-okay” he stammers shyly. You’ve always called him Hyun, or Hyunnie or on the rare occasion Jinnie but hearing you call him baby made Hyunjin’s heart race. He was absolutely nervous as you stood there, running the brush through your hair. “Y-you ready?” he questions, his eyes roaming over your figure. He groans internally why did he want to do things the right way? Fuck you always looked so good; he felt his heart flutter at your smile as you nod. He lifts himself from your bed as you make your way to the door. Hyunjin wraps his arms around your waist from behind pulling you into him. You squeak as he kisses your cheek. “I love you, baby” he smiles as he grabs hold of your hand spinning you to face him before re-placing his hand on your waist pulling you into him tightly, his free hand caresses your cheek. “I love you too” you press your lips against his. Your heart flutters, your fingers feel tingly.  

The love you had for him always seemed to leave you…. breathless.

__________________________________________________________

Taglist: @xxoverthinkerxx​ @elmi-chan​ @midsoulz​ @hyunjintoon​ 

[skzhocomments]

THE WHITE LILY (Mafia Book #1 - Bang Chan) - Chapter 10 - Velvet glove around an iron fist

Story masterlist - please consult it for the summary of the story, trigger warnings etc.

General masterlist

Chapter 9 | Chapter 11

Let me know if you'd like to be on the taglist for this story or on the general taglist!

---

Chapter 10 - Velvet glove around an iron fist

chapter word count: 1.8k words

~Chan's POV~

I'm a fucking fool. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid.

Replaying last night's events, I couldn't believe how I acted. I should've been composed. Emilia didn't exactly do anything wrong. I was the one to shut her out.

"Thanks God she left the room!" Hyo exclaimed with a chuckle. "Doesn't she sense that no one wants her here?"

"Don't be like that." I scolded her. "She's also part of SKZ."

"Chris, it's time you face the truth: no one wants her here. Why not just kill her as we were supposed to in the first place? It's clear she can't be trusted." she asked with no hesitation, shrugging.

"Being in a Mafia, you should know better than anyone the value a human life holds." I replied sternly. "Why do you hate her so much, anyway?"

"Are you seriously asking me this? Here: we have a living proof." She pointed to the baby after feeding him a last spoon of puree.

"All we have are speculations, you know that." Felix intervened and got up from the table, annoyance in his tone. "What are we gonna do with this anyway? We can't keep the baby."

"Why not?!" Hyo raised her tone in a whine and stood up.

"You seriously want to raise it?!" Felix continued.

"Of course I do! It's my only chance at motherhood! You know that!"

"Hyo..." I petted her back. I knew how much her heart hurt. Even Felix avoided her look and left the room after hearing her painful words.

Growing up in a Mafia does have advantages, but it also comes with a high price. Anything can happen to you. You can be murdered, tortured, or have part of your identity snatched off – and Hyo was no exception to this. She was an instance of plans going awry; of us failing and arriving too late.

What she suffered through when we failed to get her in time deemed her infertile, and this has been a well-known unspoken fact between SKZ. It's also been the reason why we funded an orphanage as part of our side projects.

"What, Chris?! Do you also want to tell me to get rid of him?!"

"I don't want to tell you to do anything. If you want to keep raising him, you should. But you know that this isn't the place to do so, don't you?"

"..."

"What good would it do him to grow up here? He should have a chance at a normal life. And by all means, if that's what you want to give him yourself... I will support you unconditionally. We'll get you a house, a normal job. You can close off this chapter of your life. He can go to the best school there is-"

"But-"

"OR- we can send him to the orphanage, we'll continue taking care of him and he will have the same opportunities I described above. You can stay in SKZ, visit him whenever you want and spend as much time as you want with him- no questions asked. But he can't stay here."

"But Chris..."

"I'm sorry Hyo. That's how it's going to be."

"... okay." she let her head down.

"We'll talk with Jisung and send him off tomorrow, yea?"

"Can... can we send him off next week?" she started crying. But what point would it be to pull the plug later?

Before getting the chance to answer, I noticed Hyunjin enter the room. He stared at us with a bewildered look.

"You back?" I asked. "Where did you take her?"

"To the greenhouse."

"I see..."

"Everything alright here?" he pointed to me and Hyo, who was crying her heart out.

I rubbed my nape and looked at her as well.

"Yes... Anyway... as I was saying, Hyo... he leaves tomorrow. So... Hyunjin, what did you and Emilia talk about?"

~ PRESENT DAY ~

In retrospect, I should've paid more attention. Maybe if I did, none of this would've happened.

Why?

Why didn't I pay more attention?

Now my hands are stained with her blood and no matter how hard I wash them, the warm feeling of it won't go away.

Crimson red and warm.

Why? Why did things end up like this?

How could I be so blind?

Why?

Why?

Why?!

It's all my fault.

~

~1 year and one month before Present Day~

~two weeks after sending the baby to the Orphanage~

Now was not the time to keep this madness going.

No matter how I, Emilia, Hyo or anyone else was feeling, we had to keep pushing forward. We had important plans to carry out and couldn't let any feelings get in the way.

"So... why are we here?" Jisung asked, unsure of why I summoned him, Momo and Emilia to my office.

"Momo, please fill us in. But first, where's Hyo?" I redirected the attention to Momo.

"Of course. She is... uhm... in her room... anyways, word's got out that the shipment has been delayed by about 6 to 9 months, but on the bright side-"

"6 to 9 months? That's more than half a year!"I exclaimed, surprised. I couldn't believe my ears, especially since this has never happened before.

"Yes... I'm sorry, Chris. Our provider was pretty upset of Hyo's no-show last week..."

"Wait, what's this about?" Emilia asked.

"Gun trade." Momo explained quickly. "We were about to receive the newest weapons on the market, even paid a pretty million for them."

"Stop right there. Are you seriously telling me that Hyo didn't show up?"

"You know she's been inconsolable these weeks... barely got out of bed."

"Fucking hell. And you're only letting me know now?!"

"I also didn't know... We had a second meeting planned out for this morning, as you know, and thankfully they still came to see me, even if Hyo messed up big time... I found out today. I'm really sorry, Chris."

"I don't even know what to say." I replied, truly disappointed by this turn of events. "A no-show? Christ..."

"Anyway... you said there's a bright side?" Han inquired.

"Yes. I negotiated with them, and they agreed to let us receive 5 bags up-front when we seal the deal tomorrow. Their own stack, they said. We could start selling those... But they had one condition."

"Which is?"

"They want Hyo to come apologise for standing them up and... another 200k. Delays cost money."

"Sorry to interrupt-" Emilia said. "- but when was the shipment supposed to come initially?"

"In two months' time. Not anymore, though." Momo replied, eyeing Chan.

"Han, go grab Hyo really fast for me, would you?"

~Emilia's POV~

"Han, go grab Hyo really fast for me, would you?" Chan commanded, face becoming darkened with quiet rage. This reminded me of the night I met him – of how afraid I felt of him.

He could be gentle, yes, but when he was angry... he was a scary man. A velvet glove around an iron fist would be the best way to describe him.

You definitely didn't want that anger targeted to you, ever.

"I don't think that's a good idea..." Momo tried to reason with him, but he was having none of it.

~

"Did you want to see me?" Hyo asked as soon as she stepped in front of Chan's desk. Her gaze was stuck on the floor, like it was the most interesting thing she's ever seen.

"Why else would you be here?" he replied sternly.

"..."

"Do you even know what you've done?"

"I... I just... couldn't..." she cried out.

"You couldn't what? Do your job? Is that why you chose to stay here, to be a thorn in my side?!"

"... I tried, but I couldn't get out of bed..."

"That's when you should've come to me, or to Momo... you should've told someone to make sure we don't mess this up! You know how many resources we've invested so far in this business. If we lose contact to our dealers, how the fuck are we going to keep the market going?! Gosh..."

"I know... you're right... it's all my fault."

Chan sighed deeply and massaged his temples, calming himself down.

"... This is the first time this ever happened, so... as long as you know what you've done..."

What? Is that all he's going to say to her?!

I couldn't believe it.

"How can I fix this?" Hyo asked, tears streaming down her face.

"They requested an apology from you."

"I'll- I'll do it! Seriously!"

"... Momo, I want you to give all the details about these people to Emilia and Han. Both of them will come with you two tomorrow to receive the goods. All clear?"

All of us nodded and started exiting the room, until Chan spoke again:

"Emilia, wait a sec. I need to talk to you for a bit."

We waited for everyone else to leave, and when we were finally alone, only an awkward and tense atmosphere between us remained.

"So, what do you want?" I asked, coldly.

"Nothing much. Just... how are you these days?"

"Uhm... okay, I guess?"

"You don't look so okay... Have you been sleeping?"

"You're the one to talk? Your eyebags are a deeper shade of black than Mariana's Trench."

"Pfft." He chuckled.

"That's not funny. You should take care of yourself Chris..."

"Do you mean that?"

"Of course I do. This place needs someone to lead it, after all."

"No... that's not what I meant... do you mean that?"

I understood exactly what he was asking me, but I still felt angry at how little regard he's shown me the last time we spoke... which was exactly 2 weeks ago.

Half a month without a single word.

"I don't know what you want from me, Chris. All's fine. So, can I leave now?"

"How?"

"... how... what?" I asked perplexed.

"How am I supposed to fix us?"

"Oh, now there's an 'us'? Don't mess with me, please. Actually, make sure you're not making something out of nothing." I stared at him blankly, turning his own words against him.

It felt petty to reply like that, but what else was I supposed to do? All this pent-up rage has been going nowhere these weeks. The only pieces left of our relationship covered the canvas in Hyunjin's greenhouse: all black. Gone.

What's more, Chan ignored me all this time. He didn't spare even a glance my way. And now he dares to talk about "us"?

"I miss you, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?" he stood up and started coming towards me, making me take a cautious step back whenever he would take one further.

"Wh-what?"

"You heard me. I've been missing you like crazy. I was an idiot."

"St-stay back, will you?"

My back soon hit the wall behind me as my eyes frantically searched for an escape route.

"Emi, I miss you, and I'm so incredibly sorry. I promise I will do better. Please forgive me." He spoke gently, making my heart melt. "I don't know what you did to me, but God... I can't even sleep without you. It's been agonizing without you. So please..."

He arrived in front of me and placed his right hand on my cheek, lifting my face to look at him.

Fuck this weak heart.

What should I do? I thought, knowing damn well how powerless I was when it came to him. I closed my eyes shut, but I still felt him on my skin, fingers grazing my cheek tenderly, his strong cologne intoxicating my thoughts. 

Would it really be so bad... if I gave in?

He pressed his lips on mine and, without overthinking it any further, I reciprocated the kiss, trying to forget all the bad memories we've made.

---

Chapter 9 | Chapter 11

[ghastlybin]

My skz concert experience that nobody asked for.

I just want a place to detail my memories while some are still fresh in my mind. Lol.

March 27, 2023.

First off, it was raining when we were going inside, hella stairs, was about to (and tempted) to water slide down the steps to our seats.

The girl next to me was kinda rude and kept giving me dirty looks but it’s okay because I’m on my way to her mom’s house as I type this ;)

Tour is titled Maniac. Of course they were gonna play Maniac. It was secured on the setlist. It was so fcking epic though.

THE SPIDER LEGS DURING VENOM WERE SO FCKING RAD.

-okay the notes are out of order from this point on lol-

Felix basically taught us about the water cycle after Muddy water. Science class 101

Chan: “Let’s give a round of applause to the kids for how good their english was!” (He said Something similar to this)

My mom: “this mf did not call them kids knowing they are around the same age”

It’s in their name, lol

So for context, skz played a game team vs team (who can get louder screams) and Changbin’s team lost- (btw it was team muddy water and I couldn’t hear the name of the other team because ppl screaming lol but for the sake of this, I’m gonna say Changbin’s team lol)

Changbin: I took my shirt off and still lost. I’m never taking my shirt off again.

Chan: We already take everything off

[Either before or after, fever dream goin crazy rn]

Seungmin: LOSERS 😆

Seungmin said the crowd barking makes him feel tough.

I forgot to press record for Easy and gave my phone to my brother and noticed it wasn’t recording until after the song 💀 It’s okay, it’s in my core memories.

A piece of confetti fell on me during haven and I fcking screamed as if it had Changbin’s number on it or smth 😭😭😭 my most down bad moment of the year thus far. Lmao.

I saw Changbin smile and was done for the night.

Felix kept winking, mf made me forget who I belonged to. (Joking, joking haha)

Minho is so fcking fine. Dude was GLOWING. I’m so close to blocking them on everything since he wants to be THAT fine.

Minho & Chan performed Drive. My mom knows btw so it’s not like she was gonna scold me as if I wrote the song. She caught on when Chan was like “the city is pretty big and open”. Not necessarily mom-friendly but we’re gonna let that slide.

Chan said Red lights was an adorable song. Everyone and their families SAW the ribbons, honey bee.

Phone gave up when I tried getting one last picture lol. Pfft. She went on a strike but it’s okay, that lil bitch. (Talking to my phone)

Idc I was showing out for Seungmin. The whole fcking crowd was. We do not play when it comes to Seungmin. And I will continue to show out for Seungmin.

Hyunjin sang Ice cream and I did not deserve to hear it, the mf is so pretty and I love Ice cream and I am unworthy but it’s chill, we ball.

Still kinda upset Minho dropped the ps4 controller in the little movie thingy. I’m sorry but those are expensive, I know y’all are rich but that hurt my soul ily still though.

Btw if I’m wrong & it wasn’t Minho, I will take the L. But PLEASE let me know. Like I said, fever dream is going crazy rn and I’m only writing these notes as I remember them. PLEASE let me know if I’m wrong.

I miss Jeongin already. His English (as is the others) is hella good and you could tell he and the others took the time to learn it so I hope they know they did great. The crowd chanted ‘I.N’ and he smiled and I think y’all should continue to do that.

The effects were so fcking cool and Jisung- I could feel his energy from where I sat. He never comes to play, and I hope he (and the others) sleep well tonight and that the sleep hits good.

Felix is the rizzly bear. Count rizz-ula. The rizz-ologist. Dude has W rizz. How the hell did he pull everyone in the venue in 2 seconds?

Felix also said he wanted to live here… honey, ily, but I can guarantee you that you do not. Respectfully. It’s a dumpster fire. Respectfully.

Felix also said “I didn’t even say anything yet” when the crowd screamed before he could speak just because he came on the big screens. Lmao.

Changbin was standing infront of one of the big screens while Seungmin was talking and my dumb ass saw Seungmin’s face zoomed in and tiny Changbin in the corner beside Seungmin’s face and I thought they had editors that shrinked Changbin. No one said I was smart okay LMAO

Idk how to explain it but seeing Changbin felt like drinking water after waking up at 3am. And before y’all (whoever decides to read this) are like “is that good or bad?” It’s good. Don’t lie. I know y’all like quenching your thirst.

BITCH THEY PLAYED HAVEN AND LIKE IDK IF YALL KNOW THIS BUT THATS THE SONG THAT CHEERED ME UP THROUGH A BAD TIME IN MY LIFE AND HEARING IT LIVE???? AND HEARING CHANGBIN’S VERSE (don’t get me wrong, I am ot8 as fck but Changbin is my ult-) I was about to cry. Like I’m about to rn actually. Literally I would’ve loved to hear ANY skz song live but this is the one song I hoped for and they supplied. So yeah.

THEY PLAYED HAVEN AFTER MY PHONE DIED HHHHHH I HAVE NO EVIDENCE BUT IF THERES A VIDEO ON YT OR ANYWHERE PLEASE LEMME SEE :((((

I even avoided ‘setlist spoilers’. If that’s a thing.

They made us bark (respectfully, I refused to bark 😤), they made us meow (I also refused to meow 😤), but I did NOT pass up Haw’ing to Chan’s Yee. I will never pass up a yeehaw, as a certfied yeehaw. However, Chan has yee’d his last haw. (Joking)

Oh yeah Chan asked if any of us rode a horse before and if it was for fun. I know we are yeehaws but bruh, that’s yeehaw to another level. (There were a good chunk of ppl that said yes. Respect.)

I COULD SEE CHANGBIN FROM WHERE I WAS SAT AND THATS ALL I COULD EVER WANT. HE LOOKED SO HAPPY AND HANDSOME. I’m about to get really down bad so I will pause and suppress it.

I collected some of the confetti because skz were shooting it out of cannons. That’s like the closest thing to merch I was able to afford.

Skz (multiple members) were like “hey, if we come back, will y’all come back too??” And ofc my broke ass said yes. Chan’s buying my ticket though so it’s secured. Sorry y’all.

FAM goes hard live. I also loved the backgrounds for each song. Production team was NOT lacking.

The band that played behind them, they are so talented too. Miroh is already a hype song but this band, we let them cook and they SERVED.

My ear drums are still vibrating but I will not complain. I knew what I signed up for the second I put myself through ticketmaster hell <3

My throat also took a nosedive off a cliff. I was about to pass out just to make Seungmin happy. When he says make noise, I’m using my voicebox until it’s begging to rest.

My arms are tired. Like FATIGUED but the lightstick stays up when they say “put your hands in the air” bye.

Also happy birthday to the stay two rows in front of me :) (I saw your sign) 💜🫶

Seeing skz always feels like hanging with friends. I know that’s very delulu of me, but yeah, the past two shows I’ve seen them in, they were always very crowd inclusive and like, idk, I felt safe and like nothing bad would happen.

I have hella PCD now though. Goodnight. I will add things as I remember them lol

[hyunverse]

ik it’s so embarrassing 💔💔 i remember that week being not the best so maybe i was just emotional in general ?? idek 😭. i also cry over fluff more than angst. i read angst when i’m like at a rly low point bc it’s almost kinda comforting ……. idk dw bae i sound insane rn too ! we pretty much have the same favorite cereal bc if i had to choose i’d get the chocolate rice crispy ones (or honey nut cheerios) and i LOVEEEE milo. my nana from australia always sends it over and it’s delishhhh. so nostalgic. YES spanakopita is life, it is so so so so good. lmk what you and your mom end up getting ^_^ that sounds so fun i love eating w ppl

ITS THE HYUNE BODY ROLLING SO TRUE. i like when he dances with short sleeves or sleeveless tops bc the arm muscles just make me 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 insane !!! i’ve been wanting to watch a new movie so maybe i’ll watch howl now ^_^ i’ve heard a TON about it and i think you just fully convinced me hehe. do you have any other movie or show recs ?? i’m not a big movie or show person but im tryingggg to watch more stuff so tell me any of your faves

oh yea i could slander america as a professional job. like don’t get me wrong i’m extremely grateful to live somewhere where i can get a good education and just like survive but at the same time … i’m barely surviving ?? all our money goes to stuff that doesn’t even benefit us ??? idk man i’ll keep going if i don’t stop myself BUT YES PLS all the mcflurries 🙏🏼. possible unpopular opinion but oreo mcflurry dipped in fries = chefs kiss. it’s an underrated combo fr

i would pay MONEYYYY to experience one skz dance practice but hyunjins alone oh my oh my oh myyyyy. i don’t think i’d survive, his clinging would be ineffective bc i’d just be 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠. smth about the way he dances just GAHHH. YES CONFIDENT MISCHIEVOUS LITTLE YONGBOK he’s so cute 😭😭😭😭 i love his korean name it’s adorable

i watched the live when i woke up this am and it was the cutest thing ever <///3. felix looked so bf and i swear the There music video made it WORSEE. the parasocial vibes rly smacked me in the face and said grace u need to wake up and accept you can’t have these men 😔

spamming once again gahhhh can u tell i’m bored <///3. im stuck inside for another day bc nyc is having a rly bad snow storm rn and it’s torturous lol. as much as i love being in my bed all day, it gives me a raging headache every timeeeee

- 🐈‍⬛ kisses 4 uuuuu i hope ur sleeping well ^_^

i've never tried honey nut cheerios but now i kinda want to?? lets see lets see. going back to my campus this saturday so i gotta stock up on my food stock 🫡 i'm gonna try honey nut cheerios hehe. milo is good but i can't drink it that much bcs its best mixed with milk and im lactose intolerant </3 i mean i do consume dairy anyway but milo and milk is a deadly combination. one sip and you're gonna end up with diarrhea. even worse when u have lactose intolerance. god lactose intolerance sucks so bad, especially when i love dairy </3 life is a war game and the toilet is my battle field. </3 aaa me and mumsies ended up not getting breakfast bcs we didnt wake up on time LOLL love that 4 us 🤞

sleeveless tops on hyune always look so good. his arms are so nice, the type that isn't frail nor too muscular, he's just nice. dont get me started on his hands yo his hands are pretty big too and his fingers?? majestic. slender and pretty. makes me dizzy just watching it 😵‍💫howl is incredibly good, u reaaaaaally need to watch it <3!! mmm for tv shows, i really like gilmore girls and jujutsu kaisen. or if you like romance, u shud try out horimiya!!

I UNDERSTAND ABT THE MONEY THING... malaysian road taxes r no joke. youngsters going broke frm paying taxes is CRAAAZY. fries dipped in vanilla ice cream is so good so i get u!!!!! it's the mixture of sweet and salty 🤌

when hyunjin does a lil smirk while dancing... im frothing drooling melting. like bae stop i will get through this phone screen and kiss u 😭 so pretty. YONGBOK IS SO CUTE AND YES HIS NAME!! I LOVE WRITING HIM AS YONGBOK BCS I LOVE HIS NAME SM... i also love jeongin's name. it's cute and suiting for him.

the live c hdbhs i was fixated on seungmin the whole time... was just staring at him dreamily like... 💭 he made a mess but i's ok bcs it's seungmo!!

THE THERE MV OH MY GOD GRACEEEEEE. I'LL NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT IT. HYUNJIN AND SEUNGMIN'S PART GOT ME GIGGLING!!1 also can i just say that the settings suit them so much? it feels like it's actually their ideal date. jeongin with the shopping for clothes, hyunjin with the camera and channie in the studio... it makes so much sense. omg what if it IS their ideal date? bye im gonna combust. why are they parasocializing with us!! its making the delusions worse!!!

talking abt parasocializing, felix needs to calm down. bro was wiping at his mouth and stuff r u indicating that we just made out?!?! not very pg13 of him. i heard he spams om bubble too 😭 he needs to find a gf his bitchless behavior is getting worse 😟

ur spam is always entertaining so dw!! i take my time with it always cs i wanna put thought in my words hehe. sorry to hear abt the storm :(( i hope ure staying warm <3

[kflixnet]

PART I | PART II | PART III | PART IV

• athena, [ soobisms ] ↳ she/her | aespa, en-, txt “ttyl! omw to kwangya w soobs!”

• ari, [ aakomii ] ↳ she/her | skz, en-, txt, atz “i can talk about beomgyu for hours.”

• elle, [ hvcmixtape ] ↳ she/they | svt “we’re at a space of infinite possibility, take my hand and let’s ride.”

• emmy, [ andkisses + blushgyu ] ↳ she/they | txt, tbz, en- “if taehyun is antartica, i'm the face of the sun.”

• felix, [ yourfatherlucifer ] ↳ he/him | atz “i have too many wips, oh no i made another one.”

• hera, [ svnoofy ] ↳ she/her | nct, svt, atz, exo, skz, txt “the universe is against me writing smaus.”

• honee, [ yeonjstxr ] ↳ she/her | txt “i think we should all tax bad things. like racism, and yeonjun’s thirst traps.”

• honour, [ drmflm​ ] ↳ they/them | cravity, en-, svt, txt “what even is a bias anymore :’).”

• irina, [ woosluv ] ↳ she/her | atz  “my delusion-ship with mingi keeps me going.”

• isabella, [ lveclouds ] ↳ she/her | bts, atz, svt “i just spend three hours staring at a blank word document, i call that progress.”

• jelli, [ awooghan ] ↳ she/her | skz “day [???] of missing han jisung.”

• jen, [ ayayiiie ] ↳ she/her | en- “writing is an art we can feel without the need of speaking.”

• jey, [ jeysamores ] ↳ she/her | en- “all of nct dream noticed me at their concert because i was the loudest person there. mark complimented how loud my scream was and they all pointed me out (we're married btw).”

• jia, [ ilynaevis ] ↳ any pronouns | aespa, en-, nct, skz “part time cereal fan full-time chenle appreciator.”

• lav, [ tinysushimark ] ↳ she/her | nct, skz “24 to 25 babe... just stay with me.”

• leo, [ seung-scrittore ] ↳ any pronouns | skz, trsr, txt, tbz, nct dream, en-, dkb, the rose, atz, mx, eric nam, jackson wang, eaj, jessi, dpr, kai, amber liu, hyuna & dawn, demian “unironically cries over hwang hyunjin on a daily basis <3.”

• mae/julia, [ sureogi ] ↳ she/her | cravity, tbz, stayc, txt “loving ham wonjin 25/8.”

• mai, [ maiverie ] ↳ she/her | en- “who needs birth control when u have ur face.”

• mallow, [ miyseung ] “I don’t search for eternal truth, I search for motivation.” ↳ she/her | (g)i-dle, skz, en-, ive

• mango, [ mangocustard16 ] “hoshi is mine *fight me*” ↳ she/her | en-, svt, txt

• mari, [ ynsvnte ] “crocheting gets me tired, but sunghoon doesn’t for sure. ” ↳ she/her | en-

• maria, [ bambisgirl ] ↳ she/her | en- “i have two addictions, caffeine and lee heeseung.”

• michi, [ cybrsan ] ↳ she/her | atz “99% of my process is thinking about my wips, the other 1% is actually writing them.”

• miso, [ misojunnie ] ↳ she/her | en-, txt, nct, svt, bts “𝐞𝐧- ♡ #jxnglvr cherrywonie !! 明华 ming hua, she/they, writer, engene.”

• mirai, [ nyanggk ] ↳ she/her | en-, txt “people say nothing is impossible, but i do nothing everyday (definitely did not just took that off of google bcs i have no originality).”

• mofy, [ bless-311​ ] ↳ they/them | tbz “mofy duck enthusiast!”

• moni, [ zzoguri​ ] ↳ they/them | tbz “i rest easy knowing kim sunwoo is more delusional than i could ever be 🙏🏼.”

• monica, [ softsan ] ↳ she/her; atz, bts, txt, nct, en-, skz “i don't meow for men, i meow for poetry; we are not the same.”

• moon, [ beautifulchris​ + fylithia ] ↳ she/them | skz, txt “be a little more you and a lot less them.”

• moon, [ meiideryz ] ↳ she/her | nct (all) “wayv comeback season is near! (in my imagination).”

• morgan, [ heonijs ] ↳ she/her | en-, tempest, txt “storm in her eyes, peace in her smile.”

• nat, [ nateezfics ] ↳ she/her | atz “no thoughts, head empty. just existing.″

• niwa, [ haechanhues ] ↳ she/her | atz, en-, nct, skz, svt, tbz, trsr, txt, victon “love that for me.”

• nix, [ njmverse ] ↳ she/they | nct “rip my wips i never finished.”

• noa, [ hqrana ] ↳ she/her | skz, svt, cravity, en- “when life gets you down... raaaaaah 🦅❗️.”

• noelle, [ icyminghao​ ] ↳ she/her | svt, boynextdoor “if you love a flower that lives on a star, it is sweet to look at the sky at night. all the stars are a-bloom with flowers.”

• nynx, [ meowrinz ] ↳ she/mew | nct, le sserafim, en-, nmixx “happy lesbian visibility year.”

• pearl, [ milkyruins + euphoriaatrash ] ↳ she/her | en-, skz, svt “delivering love one draft at a time <3”

• rania, [ wheeboo ] ↳ she/they | svt “imma just “hehe” my way through life.″

• red, [ shining-red-diamond ] ↳ she/her | astro, atz, block b, bts, day6, exo, ghost9, got7, mx, nct (all), nex7/9%, oneus, pentagon, romeo, svt, shinee, skz, tbz, txt, vixx, wei, xeno-t, z-boys “oh, where is my hairbrush?”

• ren, [ mygnolia ] ↳ any pronouns | bts, en-, skz, txt “student by day sunghoon simp by night.”

• ria, [ monatice ] ↳ she/her | mx, victon, atz, svt, astro, en-, kingdom, tbz, skz, txt, bae173, gncd, omega x, cravity “you can make anything by writing.”

• riel, [ linonyang ] ↳ she/they | skz “dubidubidapdap, dubidubidipdip.”

• rin, [ svhnflwr + milktyama ] ↳ she/they | atz, nct, tbz, en- “you cracked my cookie d:”

• rose, [ yangsrose ] ↳ she/her | nct, atz, txt  “your efforts will never betray you. all your efforts will pay off.”

• sage, [ seo--changbin + seoberrybins ] ↳ she/her | skz "editing your drafts include just staring at them for a while before closing them again and calling it a day."

• salty, [ sxcret-garden + starry-nights-garden ] ↳ she/her | atz, got7, nct (all), oneus, p1h, txt “too many fic ideas, not enough brain juice.”

• saph, [ zeawoo​ ] ↳ she/they | en-, trsr, txt, nct dream “madame, monsieur jourdain is very knowledgeable.”

• sara, [ wongyuuu ] ↳ she/her | svt “i have 100 ideas but only ever write one of them.”

• saya, [ lluringli ] ↳ she/her | en- “love is a timeless melody that echoes in souls and resonates through the corridors of eternity.”

• savannah, [ ox1-lovesick ] ↳ any pronouns | txt “it’s so sweet, but i should find my name.”

• sei, [ seungstarss ] ↳ she/her | en- “🗑← home sweet home.”

• sharmi, [ day6andetcetera ] ↳ she/her | day6, txt, skz, bts, itzy, got7 “ur mom.”

• sia, [ wonieleles ] ↳ she/her | en-, bts “writing to procrastinate is my favorite activity.”

• sierra, [ silvermistcosmos ] ↳ she/her | en-, nct dream “student by day, writer by night.” 

• skar, [ reverbtunes ] ↳ she/her | skz, txt “je mange le croissant.”

• skits, [ hotteoki​ ] ↳ she/her | atz, skz, txt, en- “beomgyu.”

• sky(ven), [ lheewonz ] ↳ any pronouns | en-, txt “i have a terrible case of 'i start everything i write with dialogue'-itis and writing my story backwards.”

• smiles, [ boba-beom ] ↳ she/her | txt, en- “good things take time :)”

• smt, [ songmingisthighs + smt-here ] “i'm not a writer, i just have mental illness and too much to say.” ↳ she/her | atz

• sof, [ txt-yaomi ] “tomorrow x todoro.” ↳ she/her | txt

• sol, [ myjisung ] “i'll try over and over again if i must.” ↳ they/she | skz

• solar, [ hyunestrella​ ] “um...slay?″ ↳ she/they | skz

• star, [ like-a-diamondinthesky ] “if i spent as much time on academics as i did on tumbr, i'd be the top student. yet, here we are...” ↳ they/them; skz

• sue, [ soobnny ] “whoever prayed for my downfall, you won.” ↳ she/her | en-, txt

• sumi, [ 02chois ] “lower your expectation so you’ll always reach them.″ ↳ she/they | txt

• sun, [ halaboyz ] “the f in sun stands for funny.” ↳ she/her | atz, en-, tbz

• sunny, [ daegall + niskoo + namistangerinee ] “eugene belcher kin.” ↳ she/her | nct, en-

• ti, [ sulfurcosmos ] “you ever wonder if julius caesar would enjoy a good caesar salad? maybe he should take a stab at it.” ↳ she/her | skz, nct dream

• tia, [ fae-renjun + https-dandelion ] “head empty, only huang renjun.” ↳ she/they | nct, tbz

• val(erie), [ kyrjnie ] “delulu is the solulu.” ↳ she/her | en-, skz, txt

• vee, [ skazoo ] “writer (derogatory)” ↳ she/her | bts, skz, en-, atz

• via, [ hyungjunnie ] “studying law in the day but also daydreaming about leehan, maybe that’s why im failing…” ↳ she/her | bnd, riize, svt, xdh, zb1

• whitney, [ mikrokcsmos ] “more than a memory, less than reality.” ↳ they/them | bts

• xia, [ carpexiem ] “mentally deranged, but beautifully wine aged.” ↳ they/them | en-, txt, p1h

• xin, [ prettywon ] “chamber 5? more like chamber of deez nuts.” ↳ they/them | en-, txt

• yena, [ in2fly ] “decisions? never heard of her.” ↳ she/her | &team, en-

• yomi, [ yeokii ] “i’m in a romantic relationship with myself in my head.” ↳ she/her | txt, en-, zb1

• ynn, [ rsmura ] “writing fics over essays? yes.” ↳ she/her; en-

• ysa, [ neoaevis ] “ooooooopss i did it again, i guess?” ↳ she/her | nct

• yumi, [ cupidjyu ] “hyunjae is the love of my life !!!” ↳ any pronouns | tbz

• yun, [ amakumos ] “i don’t care if i’m failing math. where’s jungwon?” ↳ she/her | en-

• zainab, [ missmadwoman ] “f*** the patriarchy keychain on the ground <3.” ↳ she/her | en-

• zanna, [ slytherinshua ] “ppl are talking abt the law💀 but what abt eunwoo i have my priorities okay.” ↳ she/her | txt, svt, bnd, &team, skz, en-, bts, lucy, verivery, victon, astro, onf, sf9, tbz, tws, park jihoon, hwang minhyun, kim woojin

• zoe, [ badwithten ] “there’s already two zoes in this network, multiverse of zoes.” ↳ she/her | skz

[hardstraykidshours]

skz: sub vs. dom

pairing: ot8 stray kids x gn!reader (maybe a little afab w the riding comment)

genre: smut, headcanon, 18+ (minors dni)

length: 751

warnings: omg where do i begin profanity, dom!skz, sub!skz, dom!reader, sub!reader, switch!skz, switch!reader, spanking, bondage, spitting, edging, praising, rough sex, brat, brat tamer, degredation, overstimulation, oral (m. receiving), suggestive/sexual content, nsfw 18+ (minors dni)

chan

chan is most definitely a soft dom. he loves to be in control, but he will always take such good care of. best leader even in the bedroom. he’s going to tie you up and spank your ass, but it will always be followed by loooooooots of praising, “you’re doing so good,” “you look so beautiful,” “you take me so well,” etc. you will not be able to convince him to sub for you. he’ll try it once for like five minutes but will quickly realize that giving up control stresses him out too much. also he's low key a pleasure dom - he doesn’t consider it a truly successful night if you haven’t come at least 3 times.

minho

minho is a hard dom with soft dom tendencies. he will not be making love, he only fucks. and he fucks hard. but, he’s not just going to just be straight up mean to you. he will tie you up, spit on you, spank you, rail you so hard you can’t walk, and edge you until you’re borderline crying, but you have safe words and safe signs that he is always watchful for and very respectful of. also, he’s going to degrade you heavily, but it will be sprinkled with just enough praise that you know he doesn’t actually mean it. and anytime you feel like playing it risky and try to do anything remotely dominant, his brat tamer side is coming out to play. good thing you enjoy being punished.

changbin

this man is a switch, but not for the traditional reasons. he’s such an experimentalist that he couldn’t care less whether he’s subbing or domming when trying something new. you want him to blindfold and gag you before laying you over his desk and fucking you senseless? he’s ready. you want to handcuff him to the headboard and see if you can make him come from just playing with his nipples? he can’t wait to try it. if you’re down, he’s down. hopefully on each other.

hyunjin

he is the whiniest, most pathetic sub 99% of the time. he will be a total pillow princess if you let him. he wants you to turn him into a begging, whimpering mess, and then ride him senseless. the only exception is when he’s had a really bad day at work. then he’s domming you so hard you will definitely be crying at some point. whether that be from overstimulation, him throat fucking you, or because he’s been edging you for so long you think you might break, there will be tears at some point (but don’t worry it’s entirely consensual, and he’s always gently wiping your tears away, so you know he loves you).

jisung

jisung is a switch in the purest sense of the word. how he is and what he does in bed is based entirely on his mood. he’s tying you up, you're tying him up, you’re making love, you’re fucking hard, and sometimes all of the above in the same night. he’s a really big fan of just letting whatever feels right for the moment happen. really goes with the flow.

felix

he is most definitely a sub. if you ask him to dom, he will try his best because he wants to make you happy, but it’s not his strong suit. he’s actually a surprisingly good dom, but it’s so out of character for him that he’s almost always switching back to sub accidentally after a few minutes. you’re okay with it though because you love watching him writhe beneath you the little bit of role reversal you get is enough to scratch the itch you have to get dommed.

seungmin

seungmin is a dom, verbally so. very degradation heavy, borderline mean at times (but never quite that far, he’s really good at knowing when he’s going to cross the line). he alwaysssss praises you lots at the end. when you’re in bed and he tells you to do something, he expects you to just do it - no complaints, no questions asked. and you always do. he’s not a brat tamer, just a pure dom.

jeongin

he’s domming most of the time. this stems from his need to prove something, because he’s the youngest. maknae does love to be on top. once he’s with a partner for a while and gets comfortable with them, he’ll start to sub and learn more. still leans more dom heavy, but does enjoy being a brat every now and again.

[jisungparker]

So, whatchu do? … Yeah, that's interestin'

pairing: hwang hyunjin x fem!reader

song: alicia keys - you don’t know my name (3)

themes: fluff, angst, smut (warnings below), 7k

snippet: You quietly watch as people greet him, tiny bows of their heads met with even deeper bows from Hyunjin. You note your hand still in his, moving to retract it when he holds it tighter. You want to feel awkward, but in this space, people seem to regard you the same as him. As his guest. As his equal.

warnings: soft dom(?)!reader, sub(?)!hyunjin; piv, nipple play; unprotected sex; kinda emo jin; when talking about art: mention of cannibalism, death, misogyny; slight exhibitionism.. u’ll get the joke later.

a/n: can you tell i’m fighting for my life w these titles? The full line is ‘So, whatchu do? Oh, word? Yeah, that's interestin’, but it doesn’t look great on mobile. But anyways, this is me thinking: art hoe hyunjin.. but make him rich. Also hyunjin doesn’t own these pieces because i reckon if he could, he.. probably wouldn’t if he was a sweetie and let the countries of the artists keep their work so he just asks the museums/galleries to loan them instead. also hey it’s me, barbie & if i missed a warning i’m sorry pls let me know.

You never found the courage to text Hyunjin.

And while it’s easy to put it down to cowardice, who could really blame you? No one.. because, well, no one knew.

Firstly, it took a couple of days for you to finally rid yourself of the sickly dread that came with quitting your job, this lump in your throat brought on from the lingering fear that came with your new unemployment. It was easy to ignore.

Until it wasn’t.

It started with small things. Insisting you and Jeongin get through your fridge full of leftovers instead of ordering in, forgoing nights out with Felix and Jisung and instead having them round to enjoy cheaper nights in. You had even taken to walking to and from campus, employing every effort to making every penny last.

Things took a turn when Jeongin finally noticed. Your roommate turned best friend of four years, who at the best of times was very dense, had started pointing out your odd new habits and hobbies. You’d taken up couponing, turning lights off in rooms he was still in, shamefully enjoying free meals at the diner you’d just abandoned, shit finally hitting the fan one day when Jeongin wondered aloud when you picked him up from work why you agreed to it when you hadn’t been keen on driving of late, noting your unusually tidy car floor and half full tank of gas.

Your initial instinct was to lie. Blame it on a sudden urge to take better care of yourself. Maybe jokingly encourage him to do the same when he bit into his fourth cereal bar of the day. It was hard though, making yourself hold it all in. Trying to bear this weight on your own.

So you told him. Everything.

You told Jeongin how you really met Hyunjin, how that first date really went. You started slow of course, adding important details to the pieces of the truth you had given him the night the two first met, swallowing before it all unravelled, your hands gripping the steering wheel tight as you leaned into every turn, enjoying how the weight shed with each heavy word.

His initial reaction had been shock, evidence of which bled into every inch of his face as you turned the corner onto your street, his second being silence. He didn’t speak for a while, probably piecing together every detail you let fall from your chewed lips as you parked up, looking over to see him sat completely still in.. disbelief? Shame? Disappointment?

He didn’t utter a word after you opened your front door, the heavy door making no sound as he shut it softly behind him. When he just walked straight past you, you grabbed his arm, partly offended but mostly ashamed as he glared at you.

You wanted to apologise, unsure how to excuse yourself for throwing away your only steady form of income on the word of a practical stanger. You wanted to explain where your head was at when you decided to jeopardise not only your livelihood but his as well, on little more than the promise of a man you had refused to speak to for nearly two whole weeks since your last shift. You just wanted to say sorry-

“How could you not tell me?” Jeongin asked, his brows knitting into a seamless line. “I’ve been sitting here thinking you got dumped!”

“Dumped?” You said dumbly, falling onto your couch as he began pacing. “I’m not dating him?”

“Well! You made it sound like you were!” He had you there. You had only nice things to say about Hyunjin the night he came round, something Jeongin can’t say about the other people you’ve brought home. “You said you were going to see him again, and then when you didn’t bring it up after that and started acting all sad and mopey-”

“I was hardly mopey-”

“You didn’t shower for a week.”

“It was not a week!” You groaned, thinking back to your short trips to the bathroom, fearful of wasting money you didn’t have. “I just- I was scared. This is scary.”

Jeongin stopped then, turning to stare at you. When you just stared back, the early signs of a breakdown in your eyes, he huffed before sitting down beside you, a few seconds passing before he wrapped an awkward arm around you, holding you carefully. “You should have come to me.”

“I know,” you quickly say, hastily rubbing your sleeve over your eye. “It wasn’t fair of me to make a decision like that without talking to you first, this doesn’t just affect me-”

“Wait, what?” Jeongin began, happily retracting his arm as he frowned at you. “Don’t make this about me, Y/N.” When you just sniffled, frowning at him, he rolled his eyes in realisation. “I’m not mad about that! I’m mad you sat here sad about it this whole time and didn’t say anything!”

“But- but I quit my job.”

“And?’ He laughed, almost hysterically. “Fuck, if Hyunjin came in here that night and said all that to me, I’d be in a Lambo right now.”

“This isn’t funny, Jeongin!”

“I know,” he agreed, leaning back on the couch. “But if I don’t laugh, I’ll scream. And I can’t be mad at you for this. Yes, it’s dumb and crazy and scary but-” he cut himself off when he noticed your lip quiver, sitting up straight before looking you in the eye. “I’m only mad it wasn’t me. I mean, there’s tons of jobs out there- none as cushy as Districts- but there are jobs.. and if it falls through? I’ll help you apply to every single one of them, okay?”

You never found the courage to text Hyunjin.

But Jeongin did.

[20:34] Y/N: hey hyunjin. sorry i haven’t had a chance to meet up. been really busy with school and stuff. i’m free this week if you still want to hang out.

“Hang out?” You whine as you snatch your phone back off of him, in near hysterics as you read over the already delivered text. “Why the fuck would you say ‘hang out’?”

“Well, what was I meant to say? ‘Hey Hyunjin, sorry I ghosted you, wanna fuck?’”

You don’t get a chance to spit out your reply because Hyunjin has.

[20:36] hyunjin: Hey. Please don’t be sorry.

You realise you’re sweating as you rack your brain, thinking of a response when he adds-

[20:37] hyunjin: If you’re free tonight, can you meet me at the Clé Gallery? I’ll meet you at the south garage.

It’s almost half nine when you arrive, Jeongin pulling into the gallery’s garage, gulping as he approaches the security booth. The man gives him and his car one look before he hunches over and eyes you in the passenger seat before asking- “You Y/N?”

“Yes sir”, you say quickly, nodding. He doesn’t say anything else before the gate opens, gesturing for Jeongin to head into the empty lot. “You know,” you mumble as Jeongin winds up the window, moving the car into drive, “I’m kinda glad you insisted on driving now.”

“Right,” Jeongin agrees, both of you ignoring your choice of words. Insisted implies that he gave you a choice in the matter and didn’t hide your car keys before dragging you into his car instead. “Just wanted to make sure I knew where to tell the police to find you.”

“Thanks.” You huff, looking around the dark garage as he pulls into a space beside the only other cars in the empty basement, recognising one. “Make sure you don’t scuff it when you pull out.”

“Don’t you worry about my pull out game,” he jokes, turning off the ignition. “I can’t afford a kid, let alone the paint job on a car like that.” When you don’t respond, he turns to look at you, watching you take deep breaths, resting your head on the stained headrest. “Oi, look at me.” When you ignore him, he hits your arm, ignoring your yelp. “Look at me!”

“What?”

“You’re gonna be fine,” he assures, glaring when you nod like you don’t believe him. “I mean it. You said it yourself, he’s a nice guy, he’s not really.. expecting anything from you. Just take it slow, see how it goes. You’ll be in a gallery, what could even happen? It’s like a date! Imagine you’re on a date! You know how to date, you’ve gone on plenty-”

“Please stop talking.”

“No. Just, don’t be nervous, everything will be fine- oh my God, he’s here.”

And there he is. And God is he fine.

Hyunjin has a knack for making basic look extraordinary. He’s the most dressed down you have ever seen him - in black jeans and a white shirt peeking out beneath his matching black denim jacket. He has a black cap on, his hair pulled back beneath it, sunglasses perched atop his head, a black mask hooked around his ears.

You can barely see his face and you’re still reeling. His eyes look warm. Tired, but warm.

You move to get out of the car when Jeongin stops you by lowering the window down on your side, making Hyunjin lean down. When he goes to rest his arm on the car door to greet you both, Jeongin yells- “Hey! Watch the paint!”

“Can you not?” You groan quietly, turning to Hyunjin when he laughs, hands raised in apology. “Pay no attention to him.”

“It’s hard not to,” Hyunjin quips, laughing harder when Jeongin gasps.

“Oh? So you’ve got jokes now?” Jeongin reels as he looks over Hyunjin’s shoulder asking- “What? No muscle today?”

“Changbin?” Hyunjin asks, pointing his thumb over to the open lift he just arrived in, where Changbin’s masked yet stoic figure remains. “Where I go, he goes.”

“Good to know,” Jeongin nods, slamming his arm down on your shoulder before squeezing. “At least I know she’ll be safe.”

It’s quiet when you hit him, holding back a laugh when you see Jeongin’s brows knit, making you follow his gaze to Hyunjin’s suddenly serious face. You think he may have taken the joke wrong when he speaks, slowly- “I’d never let anything happen to her.

“I promise you that.”

He says the latter part to you, seeing the words sink in in real time.

It’s quiet for a moment longer when you nod awkwardly, slapping your hands on your knees before announcing- “On that note.”

When you go to remove your seatbelt, you miss the nod Jeongin gives him, the two sharing a moment you would have preferred seeing Jeongin scratch the Rolls beside you than witness. Thankfully, you’re none the wiser, whispering your thanks when Hyunjin opens your door for you, before he makes a point of closing it as gently as possible.

“I want her home by eleven-”

“Bye, Jeongin!”

And with that, and some very careful reversing, manoeuvring, and a playful wave at Changbin, he’s gone.

“I think he likes me.” Hyunjin says suddenly, almost proud.

“I don’t know if that’s a good thing,” you sigh, moving to walk towards the elevator before you realise he’s not beside you. Turning, you find him standing still behind you, looking awkwardly between you and the elevator. “What is it?”

“Uh, nothing, I just-” you don’t say it, but it always feels like something with Hyunjin. So you just wait patiently, watching as he pieces the words together before he finishes. “We won’t be alone up there.”

“I know,” you nod. “Where you go, he goes-”

“No, not Changbin,” he corrects, forgetting him completely. Which must be easy, it’s easy to forget one’s shadow. “I mean other people as well.”

“I have to meet people?” You blanch, looking down at your denim skirt and t-shirt. “Is it like an event? If you’d said-”

“No, no! It’s nothing like that. There’s just staff and security.” He rushes, relieved as your panic visibly subsides. He takes a breath then, and a slow step, closing about a foot of the space separating you. “I just wanted to say it’s good to see you again.. and I’m glad you came.”

“Oh,” you sigh, watching his eyes moon, imagining his lips pulling slightly at the sides. “It’s good to see you too.” You breathe, pinching the hem of his jacket. “You look nice.”

“I do?” He asks, looking down at his unusual attire. “I just- If I knew I’d see you I would’ve-”

“Would’ve what?” You ask, confused. “Don’t say you would’ve dressed up.”

“Why not?” He laughs, pushing your shoulder slightly when you roll your eyes. “What’s wrong with that?”

“I like you like this,” you admit, watching as a flush creeps up his neck and disappears behind his mask. “It suits you.”

“Thank you.” He says, earnestly. “You look pretty.”

“Oh, here we go.”

“What?”

“Are we gonna spend all night in this parking garage or is there something else you wanna bore me with?” He laughs when you walk off, following you into the elevator. “Hi Changbin.”

“Miss Y/L/N.” That’s all you get out of Changbin, his next words directed at Hyunjin- “Which floor, sir?”

“Fourth, please.”

It’s silent as you head up, the two of you standing behind Changbin, your eyes counting the floors as you feel Hyunjin’s eyes flit to you as you all ascend to the fourth floor of the building. If there’s something he wanted to say to you, you don’t get to hear it before the elevator announces your arrival, the doors opening on the third gallery floor.

“After you,” he offers, letting you follow Changbin out onto the level.

You knew little about the Clé Gallery besides it acting as a centre to the metropolis. You had been to the gallery a few times since moving to the city you had come to call home. You and your friends had spent many a drunken night on the marble steps that surround the north entrance, Jisung hurling over a ledge as Jeongin filmed him, you and Felix singing into the night. You’d never been inside, the entry fee a quick deterrent to many students, even with the discount, and as a lover of art in its more exciting form of animation, there’s nothing the gallery famous for its modern art has to offer you, bar a fun place to drink the night away.

“Have you visited the gallery before?” Hyunjin asks after a few seconds, nodding at Changbin who stands still as you both wander around, the bodyguard lingering a few careful feet away. When you shake your head he nods. “Not a fan of art?”

“Not unless it’s moving,” you laugh, a little bashful. “I don’t think it’s boring. I guess I just don’t.. get it?”

“A lot of people say that,” he says as he nods in understanding, hands clasped behind his back. “It’s not for everyone.”

“I take it you’re a fan?” You ask, watching his head bounce, a small smile taking his lips. “What do you like about it?”

“It depends..” he hums, almost wistfully. “If it tells a story, if it just looks nice.”

“What’s your favourite?” You wonder, smiling at a less stoic but just as built security guard.

When Hyunjin just shrugs, pulling his cap down a bit lower, you look back to the man before laughing, the sudden sound forcing his questioning gaze back to you.

“I take it you’re famous around here?”

“Kind of,” he laughs, giving nothing away.

“Well, you look more famous dressed like that than you do every other time I’ve seen you,” you note, grinning when he tilts his head. “You come here a lot?”

“Every chance I get.” You can see his grin in his eyes, his eyes wandering over the gallery walls as you pass each piece. Part of you wants him to take the mask off, to let you see him enjoy what he evidently enjoys so much. But then you hear something behind you, the security guard from a moment ago speaking with Changbin before the two enter the same elevator you just left. When you turn back, you see it’s gone. The mask. And there he really is, his plump lips puffed as he fans himself, saying- “It’s awful in this thing.”

“Why’d you take it off?”

He tilts his head toward the corner of the room, letting your eyes follow before he speaks- “When I’m here, Changbin’s head of security. He can watch me through the CCTV from the floor above.” It takes a second for it to register. You think Hyunjin sees it too as your eyes widen. “My dad once owned a majority of shares in the gallery until I was eighteen, then he ‘gifted’ those shares to me.”

“You-” You’re no fan of art, but it doesn’t take a genius to know just how valuable art truly is. “You own the gallery?”

“Part of it.” He rushes, a little embarrassed. “I reckon he was giving me something to keep me here.. I got it just after Yeji left,” he says wistfully, pointing at the plaque above the door, reading ‘The Yeji Gallery’. “She hates that I did that, she thinks it’s pretentious,” he cackles, the sound definitely the sweetest you’ve ever heard from him. “But yeah.”

“Did you pick the pieces in here?” When he nods, you look around, recognising a few, unfamiliar with far more. “All of them?”

“Not all of them,” he says, pointing at a piece beneath the plaque before leading you to it. It’s a cloudy landscape with a road, a grassy, trodden path between two rows of trees, all beaten by wind and travel, the thinning leaves and branches thickening as you journey up. You’re not sure how long you’re meant to look at it, one of the things you always hated about field trips to your hometown’s gallery. So naturally, your eyes fall to the display card, Hyunjin gladly taking its place. “It’s her favourite: The Avenue at Middelharnis by Hobbema. He was a Dutch artist in the seventeenth century.”

“She.. bought it for you?”

“No,” he grins, shaking his head. “She hates the idea. Made me swear not to buy anything, just get it on loan. I like to think it was payback for the room, putting a Golden Age painting in a Modern Art gallery.”

“Right,” you hum, looking around. “I mean, it doesn’t really fit in here.”

“She knew that.” He sighs, looking at it again, pointing at a figure on the path. “I like it though. I imagine that’s her sometimes, walking down a European street, exploring.”

“Who says it isn’t?” He looks at you then, playful confusion on his face. “Art is subjective.”

“To an extent,” he laughs, bravely taking your hand to lead you to another piece. “I took a few liberties with this one,” he whispers as you look it over, eyes glued to the red head, her hands raised skyward, jewel toned flowers surrounding her as she floats down the picturesque bank. “That’s Ophelia.”

“As in, from Hamlet?” You whisper, your immediate thought to cringe at the way the clothes must feel on her skin before you remember. “Is she dead?”

“Mhm,” he hums, his hand still clinging to yours as your eyes return to her face, the lifelessness in her eyes, her hands possibly upturned to God. “Artists have always loved Ophelia, the tragedy that took her life. I think only two Pre-Raphaelites captured her really well. Waterhouse always painted her alive, I think moments before death, or before her father died. But Millais decided on this take.”

“Art has never been kind to women, has it?”

“No,” he muses, looking over his shoulder at another piece before explaining, “there has been a lot of debate about the pay for women who modelled, the conditions they were subjected to.” You feel him squeeze your hand then. Turning, you see a lingering excitement in his gaze as he nods his head behind him. “People like Picasso, Manet.. Even Rivera. They weren’t the nicest to their models. A lot of artists today hate the term ‘muse’.” He tells you, bringing you before a painting you’re proud to say you recognise. “Dali was big on it though.”

“And obnoxious titles apparently,” you mutter, heart hammering as you feel Hyunjin settle behind you, his chin resting atop your shoulder, cheek pressed to the fabric of your t-shirt to better see the painting. “‘Dream Caused by the Flight of a Bee Around a Pomegranate a Second Before Awakening’, does anyone remember all that?”

“Most people just call in ‘Dream Caused by the Flight of a Bee’.” He laughs, pointing over your shoulder, “When I was younger, I wanted to get the tigers tattooed-”

“You did?” You gasp, turning around to stare at him. “Why didn’t you?”

“Didn’t feel complete,” he says with a simple shrug, pushing you both closer before turning you to see the rest, “they’re coming out of the rockfish, which is coming out of the pomegranate, then the bee.. there’s too much to just take a part of it. Dali wouldn’t want that.”

“I see your point,” you hum, laughing to yourself at his loyalty to a man who died years before he was ever conceived. Letting yourself lean back, you feel him hold you, unthinking as he wraps his arms around you, his firm body pressed to your back. You suddenly picture the image on him. The tigers, the fish, the fruit, the bee, tainting him. “Dali was Spanish right?”

“Yes,” he says, unknowingly answering your next unspoken ask. “The Prado in Madrid loaned this to us.”

“What happens when someone flies all the way to Madrid to see it, just to find it’s not there?”

“I think Yeji would like you.” He says with a huff, grinning when you giggle. “I do feel guilty about that sometimes, wondering how I would feel if I flew halfway across the world just for the painting to be on loan.. but then I think of all the people here who wouldn’t have seen it if I hadn’t requested it.”

“That’s sweet,” you mumble, “I’m glad your generosity extends to the general public.”

“Har har.” Poking your side, he turns you around, watching you frown. “What is it?”

“This might sound dumb..”

“You’re not dumb.” It’s unnecessarily stern, enough to make you laugh.

“I said it might sound dumb,” you repeat, emphasising the word before you grow shy. You have to force the next words out. “How do you even go about it? Buying, renting.. whatever-ing a painting?”

You decide you really like Hyunjin like this, words easily pouring out of him as he explains, pulling you over to a nearby leather upholstered bench, taking you through his day to day. It surprises you how involved he is in the process, revealing a lot of his work here is in his own time, work he refused to delegate to another as his father had wrongly assumed he might.

It’s hard to ignore the love that emanates from him, his animated gestures, his hands pointing to different paintings as he rambles- no, gushes about the joy he draws from the art world. However, what is even harder to ignore is the fact that the Hwang’s wealth isn’t limited to paper money, or even digital currency.. it extends into infrastructure, investment and maybe the most valuable of all: ingenuity.

You tried to listen, you did, but it's hardest to ignore how perfect he looks in this setting, how right he looks. Dressed down, relaxed, happy. The way his lips move around the words, his pearly teeth revealing with every smile, his tongue lapping at them with every anecdote.

“This may sound silly-”

“You’re not silly, Hyunjin.”

“You've taken up comedy in your spare time I see-” you nearly cringe at his likeness to your best friend at that moment, your fist meeting his arm before you can stop yourself. He just grins. “It sounds silly, but there’s a lot you can put a price on. Creativity isn’t one. It doesn’t- transfer over, not like a business or an investment. It dies with its maker.”

“Is that why you like it?” You ask, wondering when you’d started playing with the rings adorning his fingers. He allows you though, his hand open and fingers outstretched in your lap. “Art? Do you like it because it ends with them? It can’t be remade?”

“Yes, exactly.” He breathes, frowning only slightly, before looking over your shoulder. “Come here.” His hand latches to yours, guiding you to a door in the far corner of the room. Sliding a pass over a keypad, when you enter, you quietly watch as people greet him, tiny bows of their heads met with even deeper bows from Hyunjin. You note your hand still in his, moving to retract it when he holds it tighter. You want to feel awkward, but in this space, people seem to regard you the same as him. As his guest. As his equal. As they clear the room, he turns to you, watching you watch them leave. “This room is where scientists work on all the pieces.”

“Work on them?” You ask, clearly puzzled. “As in, they alter them?”

“Not exactly,” he hums, leading you over to a random work space, careful to stand clear of the covered surface. The room is a lot darker than Yeji’s Gallery, a bit cooler even. “It’s called conservation. They sit in here, and literally work day in and day out to preserve every piece in this gallery. With every piece, they send over their own scientists to keep an eye on it, make sure it’s not over exposed to heat, or light. Be it a bust, a painting, a drawing, a sketch. It’s all conserved here.”

“Because once it’s gone-”

“It’s gone.”

“Isn’t that how it should be though?” You wonder, turning to look at him. “I mean, nothing is meant to last forever?”

Hyunjin just looks at you for a moment before he smiles.

‘I am a hwang. I am a drop of the sun. I’m resilient, independent, and eternal.’

“You asked me what my favourite piece was..” he recalls suddenly, voice just above a whisper. “I didn’t know if you’d want to see it.. it’s a bit graphic,” he warns, nodding when you shrug before guiding you around the work space, bringing you to a tall wall of metal drawers. He leaves you to hit a few light switches and turn a few dials, instantly bringing the room to a lower temperature before he opens one of the infinite drawers from memory alone. “It’s a Goya.”

When he opens the drawer, you frown, less perturbed than you expected to be, but confused all the same. “This one’s your favourite?”

“Mhm,” he hums, chewing his lip. “It was the hardest to get here. I didn’t think they’d ever accept, it took a lot of work.”

“How did you change their mind?” There's only a few times you’ve seen Hyunjin look smug. When he teased you and Jeongin earlier tonight might have been the first. But this time, in his element, in his department, in his arena? You can’t say you have seen anything that rivals it all night. You quickly collect yourself, rolling your eyes. “What a charmer.”

“I don’t know.. I couldn’t get them to let me have it for as long as I’d like as it’s part of a series, and they wouldn’t lend us all of it.” He sighs, and while the words seem despondent, when he looks down at it, his face is euphoric. “But I still count this as a win.”

“When did it get here?”

“Tonight.” He announces, grinning when he sees you frown. “Yourself, Changbin and I are the only people besides the team who have seen it.”

At this, you nod, watching him take a step back, letting you take his place.

It should repulse you. The large, dirty grey haired man- titan, Hyunjin corrects- with bulging eyes, his mouth agape, consuming what at first looks like a bloodied bone, before your eyes travel down, seeing the bare legs of a lifeless body. It doesn’t repulse you. It confuses you.

“What is it?”

“Saturn..” he whispers, teeth pulling at his lip as he adds- “Devouring his son.”

You turn to him at that. “His son?”

“When he painted the Black Paintings, Goya was in a dark place. Spain was in the middle of the Napoleonic Wars, and his work took a dark turn, both aesthetically and literally. Saturn was fearful of being usurped by his children, so he did what the Gods did back then.”

“They ate them?”

“Well,” he laughs, looking at your horrified face. “Killed them, but yes. He ate him.”

“And it’s your favourite?” You ask again, watching him nod slowly, his eyes still glued to the painting.

You never got art.

Be it visual or literary. How one could be so pretentious about paint on parchment, or pen on paper. How someone could devote their entire life to critiquing it, selling it, buying it, collecting it- or, as you learned tonight- spending every second of their free time pleading with Spanish gallery directors and trustees for the chance to look at a piece by a nineteenth century war time artist who portrayed the darkest parts of his fears in the form of familial cannibalism.

But that didn’t mean it wasn’t beautiful. No matter how strange, or morbid, or grotesque, you find it in you to try and find beauty and meaning in the macabre, even for a little bit. Because to understand Goya’s Saturn was to understand Hyunjin. His fear of responsibility, his repulsion for his lineage. How he didn’t see it as scary or ugly but relieving. How he wasn’t so much entertained by the painting but rather inspired, maybe even jealous. Hyunjin didn’t want to consume or be consumed, he wanted to live, to be free. And while it might frighten you to think he envied Saturn’s son, you remember what he has shown you tonight. That he wants this life, one surrounded by art he adores by people who are no more. He doesn’t want to live forever.

In the few times you’ve spoken to him, it was easy to see Hyunjin didn’t know how to tell you what he really wanted. Not for lack of want, but lack of words. He knew what he wanted. He wanted to be free, to forget he was a Hwang, a drop of the sun, something eternal.

Hyunjin didn’t want to be devoured by his father - unless that was the only way to be free.

You never got art. You think you do now.

“You’re the son,” you whisper, watching his eyes gleam.

“Art is subjective,” he reminds, closing the drawer, adjusting the settings of the room before heading to a door in the back, waiting for you to follow. “Shall we?”

When he opens it, you’re in an office. It isn’t massive, but it is lavish. Warm tones cover the room from the ground to the ceiling, a tidy, polished oak desk, a cream leather seat behind it, a brown throw strewn across a matching leather couch in front of a large television.

“This your office?” When he nods, you nod too. “It’s nice.”

“Changbin will be happy to hear that,” he smiles, taking off his jacket before heading to the mini fridge. “Until a few months ago, it was just a box with a desk, he decorated it himself, probably for security reasons but said it’s embarrassing when I have company.”

“Ah,” you sigh, accepting the bottle of water he offers you. You can’t picture it bare, or at least someone of his stature having meetings in an unfurnished box room. “So you bring all the girls here then?”

You realise Hyunjin isn’t really one for jokes, his head turning to you as you hide behind your bottle, chugging far more water than you need.

“I-I don’t bring anyone here,” he admits, scratching his neck as he leans back against his desk. “It’s perhaps the only thing that is truly mine.”

He’s suddenly pensive, sad even, eyes glued to the dark television screen above your head. You hate that you caused this, overstepping for the second time tonight. Third, if you count Jeongin earlier in the car. So you walk over to him, tilting your head when he looks down, trying to catch his eye. “Hyunjin?” When he looks up, you ask- “Why did you ask me here tonight?” You think you might have to elaborate when he quickly goes to answer, missing the meaning. “As in here, why not somewhere else?”

It might be too loaded a question to ever really answer. The new meaning is too tricky to distinguish.

Did you mean here as in the gallery? Here as in his office? Here as in the one place he feels most at peace? Most himself? Most Hyunjin?

When he swallows, exhaling a shaky sigh, you almost apologise, the words readied on your tongue when he speaks- “I wanted you to see all of me.”

“What do you mean?”

“After that night, at- at your place. I- uh, I did a lot of thinking.” He feels himself heating up, your gaze intense, unwavering as he stutters around his words, failing to think up an explanation that doesn’t make him sound crazy or deluded. But he knows it’s a losing battle. Not when in that gaze is so much warmth, he can’t help but hold onto it, cling to it, crave it. “I thought about how I feel when I’m around you. How I feel- how you make me feel.”

“How do I make you feel?”

“Loved.”

He hears your breath catch in your throat, and he fears the worst. Fears you’ll bolt out of here, turned off by the feelings he can’t help but feel around you. Because even he fears what he’s feeling, this overwhelming desire to give his whole self to you, for you to take all the best and all the worst parts of him and reduce them to nothing. To see right through him like he painfully did you.

“I left that night feeling guilty. About asking you all those things, offering all those things, using it all against you-” when you open your mouth to retort, to defend, he rushes- “I know you won’t agree- that you don’t agree. But that’s how I felt. And I just thought, what if you had asked me those things, things that terrified me, things I worry about everyday and night. Would I have told you?

“And I realised I would.” He says firmly, decided. “I realised I’d give you anything if you asked for it.”

“I never wanted anything.” You defend, a sharpness to your tone. “I told you that.”

“I know,” he whispers as he leans forward, your glare softening into a frown, frown softening into a gaze, gaze fluttering as he hovers over your mouth, breathing- “That’s why I’m giving it to you.”

Is it weird to think of Jeongin now? The thanks you owe him for snatching your phone off of you, unlocking it and texting Hyunjin earlier tonight? Or to think of all the ways he’ll hold this over your head for as long as you both shall live? For being right about Hyunjin?

It might be weird, but it’s easy to push him aside as Hyunjin’s lips cover yours, a sudden need for you filling him, taking over his every urge as he kisses you softly, practically purring when you pull him down into you, his body melting against you as you scratch along his nape, lulling his mouth open with gentle strokes, your tongue slipping between.

Snippets of your first night together peek through, his hands still shaking but more sure of themselves as he guides yours to his jacket, his wordless ask answered as you slowly peel it off of him, letting it fall on the desk then floor. You feel him whine as your palms run down his chest, and up, chasing your lips when you retreat, eyeing his buttons as you unhook them. When you look up, you almost gasp. The pure hunger in his eyes, his small pants, his daze.

When he tries to lean back in, you laugh- “Let me get this off of you first.”

“Just take it off.”

“I’ll pop the buttons-”

“I don’t care.” He whines, his head in your neck, panting. “I-I need you,” he whispers, heart racing as he presses himself to you. “Please.”

The clang of his buttons hitting the floor ring through the room as you tear his shirt off, your lips meeting in a clash, his hands clinging to your hips.

It’s a mess. His tongue lapping at your teeth, hands gathering your skirt, fingers inching toward the gap between your thighs. This last month apart unravels into a hot, filthy mess as he turns you, lifting you onto his desk before his lips close over your mound, his eyes finding yours as je laps at the skin, his rolling back as he takes you between his teeth, rolling his hips against your heat.

He kisses a path up the valley, up your throat and jaw before hovering over your lips, catching his breath as he watches you unbutton his jeans, envious of your steady hands.

“You okay?” When he just squeezes his eyes shut and nods, you pause, raising a hand to his cheek, guiding his face to you. “Hyunjin-”

“I’m okay.” Taking your hand from his cheek, he hooks his pinky with yours, instead kissing your fist in his haste. “Just missed you.”

“I missed you too,” you confess, pecking his lips before dropping your hand to unzip him.

“Then-” when you pinch at the waistband of his drawers, he swallows, his eyes dropping to the motion. “Why didn’t you call?”

“I-” you stop yourself then, hands moving to the soft skin of his waist, realising your spiral the last two weeks wasn’t one you had to spend alone. It wasn’t yours alone. “I was scared.”

“Of me?” He asks, frowning.

“No,” you say firmly, rubbing his skin gently. “Just- of everything.”

He nods then. You think he understands. “Are you still scared?”

“No,” you repeat, releasing a deep breath as you shuffle forward, pushing his pants and drawers down in one go, grinning when he shivers, eyes glued to yours. “Not anymore.”

He nods again, trembling when your hand closes around him, fist pumping him a few times, thumb gliding along his leaking tip. His eyes glaze as your lips move, the words forming in his head before they ever leave your mouth.

“What do you want?”

What do I want?

“You.”

“Then have me.”

It’s seconds before he enters you. His fingers dragging your damp panties down your thighs before he pulls you towards him, your bare legs gliding along the polished desk, his cock drawing a line up your folds. He sighs when you moan, his tip circling your clit slowly, his eyes caught on the way you chew your lip before he sinks in, his throat closing as you squeeze around him.

He rests his chin on your shoulder, an arm looped around your waist, holding you against him, his lips pressed to your ear. “I dreamt about this,” he groans, hips slow, steady as he pulls out before pressing all the way in, skin aflame as he engulfs himself in you. “Almost every night.”

“Almost?” You try to joke, breath catching as he bottoms out, your thighs spread almost painfully as he hits a spot that has your nails digging into him. “W-what about the rest?”

“Still you,” he mumbles, forcing words out as he builds up a pace, enjoying how your walls tighten around him with every stroke. “Always you.”

“Yeah?” When he nods, you gather his face in your hands, let your fingers comb through his hair as his hat falls, his jaw swung open as you wrap your legs around him, pulling him closer. You just stare at each other, his breaths shortening with every tug, hands pressed to the desk, forehead pressed to yours. “You feel so good, Jinnie.”

“You feel-” he wants to say better, but it isn’t enough and all the other words get lost when you kiss him. It’s unlike any other. It’s slow, careful, loving. You make him feel loved. And it too feels unlike any other. Because in a literal sense, Hyunjin has felt love. From Yeji, from Changbin. From his chef and his assistant. Hyunjin has people in his life who love him. But Hyunjin never thought he’d feel this. Feel wanted, feel.. love. Better isn’t enough. “Fuck, I’m-”

“Shh, it’s okay,” you whisper, pecking his lips a few times as you squeeze around him, your arms, your legs, your heat. It’s too much, the warmth pouring through him as you meet his strokes, slow raises of your hips as you lure his orgasm from him. When he moans, hands clinging to your hips, his lips finding yours, you feel his thrusts intensify before the crash, his hips snapping to a quick stop as he shakes, his groan pouring out into your mouth as you take it, milking him as he cums into you, your lips peck his open mouth. His comedown is intense, his slick forehead pressed to your neck as he pants, one hand still clinging to you as the other snakes between your legs. “Hey,” you whisper, shaking your head, “this is about you, don’t worry about me.”

“It’s about both of us.” He reminds you, his pout kissing your smiling lips, “Let me.”

“I will,” you sigh, “I just wanna go home now.”

“What?” He asks, his frown staining the smooth, slick skin of his forehead.

“With you, silly.” You correct, rubbing a thumb over his cheek. “Okay?”

He nods before you glare, making him smile. “I thought I wasn’t silly?”

When you just shrug, kissing him again, he just grins, kissing you back. It’s silent for a moment before you feel him tense, his back straightening as he looks up over your shoulder.

“What?” When he doesn’t say anything, and just stares, you follow his gaze. “What is it-”

Where I go, he goes.

He can watch me through the CCTV from the floor above.

He decorated it himself, probably for security reasons.

Jeongin might have been right about Hyunjin, but you weren’t. Maybe he was silly. Maybe you don’t care.

a/n: Here’s a list of the art mentioned in order for anyone interestedddd:

The Avenue at Middelharnis (1689) by Meindert Hobbema

Ophelia (1851-52) by John Everett Millais

The flight of a bee around a pomegranate (1944) by Salvador Dali

Saturn Devouring His Son (1820-23) by Fransisco Goya (part of the Black Paintings series)

The Kiss (1907-08) by Gustav Klimt

[chocotonez]

skz + christmas movies

a/n: this was such a fun n creative request!! hopefully this is what you wanted, if not feel free to ask for a rewrite :>

warnings/genre: christmas but nothing religious, cursing, hallmark movies, fluff

chan

-will die on the hill that Die Hard is a Christmas movie, but doesn’t mind watching the Nightmare before Christmas or smth like that

-honestly it’s hard enough to wrangle him into a regular movie night because of his schedule, but Christmas is even more difficult because of the holiday promos :,)

-but bcuz of this!! u both try to make ur christmas movie night really special!!

-the finest hot chocolate, warming blankets up in the dryer so you guys can get all cuddly, making sure there’s 0 interruptions so u guys can just snuggle on the couch and enjoy the movie :)

-keeps mistletoe in his pockets but gets too shy so you have to kiss him first!!

-he loves just taking at home and having these domestic moments w u <3

lee know

-“no why would we watch that all hallmark movies are the same” -> “THEY DISCOVERED THE MAGIC OF LOVE AND ROMANCE AND IT WAS SOHADJWJDJE” pipeline

-loves those really cheesy ones w the happy endings :) he’ll never admit it tho

-probably forgets to give u attention cuz he’s so immersed in the movie LMAO

-highly recommend Falling for Christmas, that’s not his favorite but I just really liked that movie LMAO

-honestly just pop on any movie that’s Hallmark and sappy, cuddle him, and have snacks at hand and he’ll be very satisfied

-the best part is hearing you laugh and seeing your smile tho, it makes him feel so cozy

changbin

-not really the type to sit down and have a whole night dedicated to Christmas movies, probably wants you to play it in the background while you guys are doing something or just hanging out

-so like maybe ur decorating the tree or just having fun teehee, and in the background there's a hallmark movie -he needs there to be a happy ending, or else he'll cry and he doesn't really wanna cry in front of you, and if you cry he'll cry and you both are gonna be crying- -so yeah!! hallmark movies!! (also i am so sorry abt the format changes omg) -if you want to just sit down and enjoy the movie whole-heartedly, he'll do his best but he'll probably get bored -someone who's very chatty during movies unless he's fully interested in it -and if he is, he'll just be so entranced he will go into a catatonic state hyunjin

-I don't think he likes Christmas movies tbh, but he'll indulge you because he <3 you -probably points out all the mistakes the movie made, light-heartedly teasing you about the cliches -"I feel like they get the same man to play Santa every time..." -i think the whole time he's watching you, your little expression, the quirks of your brow, etc... -probably draws you later on -Drinks your hot cocoa because you're too focused on the movie -"I feel like we just watched the same exact plot" "stfu its the christmas magic" -the whole appeal for him is seeing you smile han

-really fucking annoying (lovingly) (endearingly) -likes the animated movies more, something nostalgic and sweet -Nightmare Before Christmas kinda guy -blanket hog and then complains ur ruining the holiday spirit -"don't fight during the holidays!!" -the type to fall asleep and be like "huh no I'm awake I've been paying attention" -needs to always be talking tbh, he needs to observe every scene but he'll shut up if u tell him too because he's such a good bf -has to have first pick on the movie -probably clowns you and say you look like one of the bad CGI characters felix

-fumckin loves christmas movies -he's probably the one to convince you to sit down and watch w him, or maybe he turns it on while you two are decorating a gingerbread house -likes the more fantastical ones, with magic reindeer n stuff like that -giggles excitedly once the movie starts and is just like "teehee look at all that holiday cheer"

-its so wholesome idk he just luvs the warm feeling, honestly he just turns on christmas movies because he loves a domestic holiday w u -if he's ever unable to visit or sit down, you two facetime and screen share christmas movies :> -oh yeah and he makes that face when he's really getting into the movie - :> seungmin

-very neutral on christmas movies tbh -if you like them he'll watch them and maybe enjoy it, but he won't go out of his way to watch them -not the type to get fully immersed in movies, you tease him for being a grinch and hes just like >:T -"what does a man need to do to get a little respect around here" "idk have some holiday cheer" -likes the comedic ones that just take place during Christmas, finds them more entertaining -he likes the ambience n aura of Christmas, but he usually can't stand the plots of standard christmas movies -like hyunjin, he's more interested in you and the hot cocoa he's got jeongin

-Christmas movies to him are background noise for christmas activities, likes to turn them on if friends and family are over because it immediately adds to the coziness of the holiday season -probably keeps mistletoe in his pockets if there's a romance scene, and then is like "omg that could be us look at this mistletoe that came out of nowhere teehee" -probably uses plot devices as an excuse to act out cheesy cliches with you -"let's share a scarf!!" "we both have our own-" "ITS LIKE THE MOVIE." -not the type of guy who watches christmas movies for the plot, he just likes the mood