#same thing with pullman etc etc.

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

i've met several people who were weirdly insistent about me watching spn or that one neil gaiman show that's trending even though I've repeatedly told them I'm not interested and they know very well I'm a Christian and it's so frustrating how willfully dense they can get. like, to you it's a fun spin on 'christian lore,' to me it's a bastardization of everything I believe in. It's a game of telephone with so many distortions it's virtually unrecognizable as 'biblical' and yet it parades itself around wearing the hollowed out shell of my faith. I'm never going to enjoy watching it, no matter how much fun the characters are/how clever the dialogue is - I'm just not interested.

being pushy about it is just so weird. what would you even gain from me caving in and watching stuff with """nice""" demons and an evil God? what is it to you? why would you want me to enjoy something that goes against my entire understanding of the world unless you just straight up think my faith is stupid and I should become an entirely different person?

[austinslounge]

I don't believe in people who talk about Austin with smearing his name by calling him a party boy, a womanizer, etc. Austin is quite shy, cute, and follows the law, people don't know that he is a famous and genuine superstar/actor.

That Kaia, an immature 23-year-old ex-girlfriend, still schemes with her friends, her parents, and her team to smear his name through the Deuxmoi bitch and the media. Even though they are already broken up and Kaia has her new boyfriend Lewis Pullman, she is still unsatisfied.

We make sure Austin can expose all of the major scandal stories of Kaia while he interviews.

Exactly.

People who think Austin is a heavy drinker and partier obviously don't know him that well at all. The man has said that he is a wallflower at parties. We even saw how awkward he looked at the dinner party with Snoop Dogg and Robert DeNiro! Lol 😆 He's just a shy guy.

He's not this life of the party type of guy. He's reserved, laid back, introspective, deep, and down to earth.

This Leo v2.0 image that the media keeps trying to pin on him is a bunch of nonsense. 🙄 Austin is not a thing like Leo, at all. And those who think so are just showing that they know nothing about Austin.

This is a man who Timothée Chalamet said was drinking tea, while Jason Mamoa was partying it up and driving heavily.

This is a man who Florence Pugh said she had to "drag out of his hotel room" to come and hang out with her in Budapest during the filming of "Dune: Part 2".

This is a man who spent a quiet Christmas eve with Ashley Tisdale and her family, and who went to go visit his grandparents for Christmas. 🥰

This is the same man who traveled with Darren and did a retreat in Mexico right after "Caught Stealing" filming ended.

This is the same man who went on a solo vacation up north in Northern California at a resort and was just pictured reading quietly to himself while eating his food.

This is a man who was spotted taking a father-son road trip with his dad right after he left his resort in Northern CA.

This is the same man who went to Paris for the YSL event, spent two seconds at Zoe's after party, and then dipped and went home.

This is the same man who was spotted having dinner at Ruthie's Cafe with Tom Cruise and other older film industry peers.

This is the same man who was just spotted going out to dinner in LA with his friend and agent, James Farrell.

This man is NOT who the media is trying so desperately to paint him as. 😔

This man is a simple, kind, quiet, hard-working guy, who just minds his business, doesn't get into trouble, and is just trying to live his life and do the work that he loves. 🥺

[romancomicsblog]

Movie Redo: Fixing Marvel's Thunderbolts*

Marvel's Thunderbolts* recently came out with a stellar trailer, watching some of our favorite MCU anti-heroes going through the motions while uncovering a mystery and becoming a team.

While many have praised the trailer for its style, action and tone, I have had some problems with the movie from the beginning. For one, the group Thunderbolts* tends to be villains pretending to be heroes as opposed to morally gray characters.

The movie tackles the spirit of this by having several characters fill in classic roles of the MCU Avengers: Yelena as Black Widow, U.S. Agent as Captain America, etc. But this stops at about half the team.

For example, we have three different variations of Captain America. Each are not Steve Rogers, morally gray super soldiers. The main difference is their range of comedic quips.

We also have two different variations of (basically) Black Widow.

This makes the lineup a bit stale power wise, and makes most of the lineup side Black Widow and Captain America characters.

While it makes entering the film easier, this doesn't give us the same feeling of "assembling" characters from the MCU like the Avengers did. The characters should come from many different projects as opposed to 2.

Finally, the team is made up of 7/8 white people. So in so many ways, this movie is suffering from a lack of diversity.

My goal is to liven up the team with characters across the MCU, villains and antiheroes alike. I'd like this team to:

Fill roles of the classic Avengers

Have a wide range of abilities

Reward long time MCU fans for watching along

Lets get started with an obvious question:

Who Stays & Who Goes?

While this group is full of some great MCU characters, too many unfortunately are redundant.

We will be saving 4 Characters, starting with:

1. Yelena Belova - White Widow (Black Widow / Hawkeye)

One of the smartest moves made by this movie is having Yelena be the lead. I love Florence Pugh, and one thing that can differentiate this team from The Avengers is having White Widow be the leader.

She is the clear and funnest Black Widow stand-in, so I will be choosing her over Taskmaster.

2. John Walker - U.S. Agent (Falcon & The Winter Soldier)

Of the Captain America knock offs, U.S. Agent is by far the most interesting.

No hate to Red Guardian's jokes or Winter Soldier's angst, but having a sad, broken not as good Captain America who is not a good man but a perfect soldier, there's so many ways you can go with it. He can be a traitor to the group, the eventual villain or just the guy who thinks he's the leader.

He is also the character we've seen least of the 3, and deserves his time on the big screen.

3. Ava Starr - Ghost (Ant-Man & The Wasp)

One of the most underrated characters in the MCU, Ghost was a highlight for me in the Ant-Man trilogy. With a tragic backstory, skills to match the Winter Soldier and an actual interesting power, I'm really excited to see where they go with this character.

Plus I love her new suit.

4. Bob - The Sentry (Thunderbolts*)

Lewis Pullman is playing "Bob" who is most likely Robert Reynolds AKA The Sentry, a Superman like superhero who struggles with memory loss, and has the power of "a million suns".

Due to the S in the trailer and his general confusion, Sentry will likely join the team, and his archenemy The Void will may even be the main antagonist.

As a powerful longhaired hero, he fills the role of a Thor for our Avengers, which is a definite need.

The mystery behind Bob as well as the inclusion of a new Superman like character is very fun. I do think a need for every MCU movie is an addition of a new interesting character, so Bob must stay.

Now that we have our 4 stays, let's make some fun additions.

5. Agent Dex Poindexter - Bullseye (Daredevil Season 3)

Agent Poindexter fills a couple of significant roles from the Avengers and from the Thunderbolts* who we took off the list.

Like Taskmaster, Bullseye is an assassin, who worked for a puppet master who is still very much alive and around in the MCU. But unlike many of the other killers on this list, he enjoys killing. As the teams resident sociopath, he can be the devil on their shoulder, egging the team on to go further than they have before.

He also nicely fills the teams role as their Hawkeye. The both have perfect aim, have taken on new identities to commit atrocities, and started off as law men.

It also gives all viewers great homework, because everyone should watch Daredevil.

6. Aaron Davis - The Prowler (Spider-Man Homecoming / Across the Spider-Verse)

The Spider side of the MCU has very much stayed in its place due to Sony. One character who has appeared in both Sony and Marvel, portrayed by the same actor I might add, is Aaron Davis.

Aaron Davis first appeared in Spider-Man Homecoming, and if we believe him to portray the same character in Across the Spider-Verse, has evolved into his role as Prowler now.

Prowler with his tech, claws, skills, and general goofy vibe, could fill the role of a Black Panther or Spider-Man for our group, and much like Spider-Man, be the ground level criminal entering this world of Assassins and Gods.

You can also view him as more of a thief than anything else. Like Aladdin or Star-Lord, fitting him into this team but definitely bringing a different perspective as opposed to Bullseye.

I see Prowler as a secondary lead character, one who has Yelena's back over some of the others, and hopefully makes it out of this mission alive.

7. Titania (She-Hulk: Attorney at Law)

Where there are Avengers, there is need for muscle.

Titania is one the secondary villains from Marvel's She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, notably played by Good Place actress Jameela Jamil.

Titania fills the role of a Hulk / Captain Marvel to the group as our resident strong woman, but also takes up Red Guardians role as comedic relief.

As a social media influencer and fashion icon, she'll bring a very different energy than our other two heroines. She also has the tendency to back whoever to keep herself alive, meaning she may team up with the worst of our titular team if there is a coup.

Plus I'd like her to dawn her wrestler outfit.

8. Justin Hammer - MACH-1 (Iron Man 2)

With many of the Avengers roles filled, all we need is left is a billionaire genius playboy.

Since his debut in Iron Man 2, Sam Rockwell fans have been clamoring for the actor to return as Justin Hammer. While we have inklings of him in All Hail to to King & What If, having Justin as comedic relief and the teams resident tech expert can add a different flavor to the team.

While Justin Hammer doesn't have an alter ego in the comics, he could take on the role of Titanium Man like he does in the animated show, Iron Man Armored Adventures.

My only gripe is the name is a little too close to Titania, so I recommend he takes on the name Mach-1, the alter ego of the Beetle when he joined the Thunderbolts.

While he is not The Beetle, he is still a villain pretending to be a hero, and several have taken on the name of Mach-1, so I think it'll be fine.

With just a few notable changes, my MCU team is now complete.

We now have heroes and villains from across the MCU, all with unique skills, powers, tools and motivations.

And once they all suit up...

They'll make one hell of a team.

Thank you so much for reading! Please consider following, and check out my socials and other sites here! And let me know: Who do you think should be on the Thunderbolts*?

[a-wonderful-danganronpa]

hiya, i hope you're doing well :3c

the wonders have a more sci-fi/ rustpunk/ post-apocalyptic/ absurdist flavor than their ultimate counterparts. same for the setting. does AWD have any major inspirations other than the cannon DR games?

[NO SPOILERS]

thank you for the question as always! and what a fun one!

off the top of my head...

games:

Kodaka's Rain Code is of course another one, esp with names and the otherworldly aura, which i took for some parts of the Monastery

Fallout for its post-apoc/dystopian vibes, specifically New Vegas—the feel that you're really walking through a dead world with lots of history

Life is Strange for its ability to Look At And Talk To Everything, and engaging narrative

Pokemon's adorable human character design gives me hair ideas constantly

No Man's Sky and Rimworld for the idea of a wide-open landscape dotted with ruins, overgrown nature, and small settlements—a world with only a handful of metropolitan city-states. this is the kind of world in which our protagonist Suzuran lives

movies/TV/anime:

Mad Max, specifically Fury Road: you all haven't seen the real post-apoc-looking cast yet, but it's coming

i haven't viewed them yet myself, or read the manga, but Manager Bunny (our Writing Consultant) gave me a lot of Noragami and Soul Eater stuff as inspiration for various aspects of the game

various VTubers for design (that counts as anime, right?)

books/stories:

Ursula K. Le Guin's famous "The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas"

a few of Stephen King's books (some written under the Bachman pseudonym) like Cell, The Stand, and especially The Long Walk

the series His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman for spiritual and animal motifs, its academic-adjacent setting towards the beginning, etc

misc:

Shinto, Greek, and Roman mythology and culture, esp for design

European fairy tales for some character backstories and pretty much every deranged thing that comes out of Izumo's mouth

the performer Liberace for a few character outfits. yes, specifically him

a few musical albums from my young adulthood, like A Fever You Can't Sweat Out (Panic at the Disco), Decemberunderground (AFI), In the Aeroplane Over the Sea (Neutral Milk Hotel), Slow Riot for New Zerø Kanada (Godspeed You! Black Emperor - especially the track "Moya")

every library i've ever cozily slept in

i hope this answers things adequately!

[midwesternorcprincess]

some months ago I got back into daemonism, which I had been a little bit into over a decade ago after reading His Dark Materials. in HDM humans are split into a human form, and another external part of the soul called a daemon that takes animal form, usually of the opposite gender. the form "settles" around adolescence based on personality (charismatic people and leaders have cats or big cats, servants have dogs, witches have birds, the straight-shootin cowboy has a hare, the rascally protagonist has a weasel, etc.), which is of course probably earlier than real human personalities settle, but they're a narrative device. the theocracy of the series has a goal of severing children's ties to their daemons. it's a very humanist sort of work

anyway there was a fairly lively online community of people who were really into the daemons because they are rad as hell and a lot of ppl's fav part of the series. and of course invite all kinds of speculation as to what form this or that person or character's daemon would take. I got into this at around 18, and at the time I was pretty sure my daemon was a dik-dik. which in hindsight I think was pretty spot-on and insightful of me. of course I was still practically a child then and have changed quite a bit, so it doesn't fit very well now.

guess I got back into it again mostly because I like animals so much. and also because I was feeling introspective and conscious about how I'd changed. I was pleasantly surprised to find the community still alive and relatively well for this day and age. things had changed, though. back in the day, people determined their daemon's forms based on the animal's behavior in real life, but this is not necessarily how it's done in the books, where daemon forms take on more cultural and literary symbolism. so now the daemians have split it up, where the one based on actual animal behavior is called the 'analytic' form, and the one based on the books is called the 'Pullman' form after the author. and they even have 'personal' and 'comfort' forms now which are basically indulgent 'forms I think are cool' which I find very charming and welcome.

and first there's the whole thing about actually communicating with your daemon, of course. this has the potential to get weird with some ppl I think, in the same way that I think believing in ghosts or gods is weird, but that's not my business. for me, my daemon is me, just another way of compartmentalizing my inner monologue into a sort of dialogue. and if part of me was a cool animal. a way to sort out my thoughts and try to really pay attention and listen to myself, which I find worthwhile. and so the question becomes, what is that part of me really like

my daemon's name is Ildico, which I determined by trying a bunch of different ones and seeing what felt right. and I have been calling her female, but now I don't know if that's actually what I'm sensing. maybe she is actually male, or maybe neither, or maybe it changes. to be clear, I am in no doubt about my own gender. I cannot explain the sense I have for my daemon's. in the books I figured the gender was a balance thing, like a human plus their daemon equals a complete soul, and it's a fun little worldbuilding thing that rarely same-gender pairs exist for unknown reasons. who knows

anyway I am pretty sure her Pullman form is an owl. it has associations that people associate with me, which is more or less how that system works. I say an eastern screech owl specifically because I like the idea of a species that comes from the same place I do. and also because they look funny. like

my soul would look like this for real, right

personal form is a bat. animal I've been drawn to my whole life and that people associate me with, and that I can easily imagine her in. she also frequently takes various cat and big cat forms, I think just because those are the animals whose body language is most familiar and readable to me. so comfort forms.

I do not know what Ildico's analytic form is. these are in some ways the most full-fledged ones because they take an animal's entire behavior into account and translate it into human terms. and humans are probably more complex than can be contained in any one of these animal behavior descriptions. so I am torn between the retiring and avoidant parts of my personality (closest fit is common palm civet) and the secure and playful parts (closest fit is wedge-tailed eagle, especially the Tasmanian subspecies). idk which is more at the forefront and I can't find a form that balances them well. feel free to weigh in on which seems more like me

the real answer is, of course, that this is all made up. but it is still fun and has made me consider my personality more deeply

[howetragic]

DARP Advent 2024: Day Six

HALFWAY THERE!

Let's talk about INFLUENCES and ADMIRATION! Mun Portion!:

1. What inspired you to get into DARP? Former RP experiences? Just a love for the games? Oh boy. So I actually have a looooooong history of RP since I was in like middle school??? My best friend in the entire world and I actually met on Neopets!!! on the RP boards. I was in this group called the Annoyers and we would "raid" creepy/weird RP threads and/or just flood the boards. Some of us got banned. I then went on to lead this group in a multi-fandom mix of boards. We had a b2g board and a... gosh I can't remember what it's called. We were also on Gaia Online. I was a moderator with Dragon Ball Z / greek mythology muses (hilarious spread there, I know). Then I got on Tumblr, I started writing Dragon Age fanfic for my Hero of Ferelden. And Shink, Pandy, and Tabbi were foolish enough to allow me to RP with them on my personal blog until I finally took the leap and made myself an RP blog and the rest is kind of like history. 2. Name one (or a couple) of your fellow writers that you think are neat, and why! Can be famous, on Tumblr, in your real life, on AO3, whatever. My baes both on AO3 and here are @theshirallen and @theharellan, and I'm also in love with @fatedvoyage, @turlums, @mercysought. Can't recommend those nerds enough. 3. Has anyone in DARP (past or present!) really helped to define or reimagine a character for you? Or made you rethink perceptions that you held? Oh God yeah. Most notable being Tas with Solas - before I met Tas I didn't really give a shit about Solas and wasn't particularly interested in him or his story. Unfortunately for my brain if Inara doesn't Vibe with a character I don't pay too much attention to them at first, and Solas resided in that gray bubble. Tas made me love him and be fascinated even before that turned out to be a very plot-relevant thing to be. 4. What other fandoms/works/writers have influenced your writing style and the way that you view writing and creative expression? lololol maybe see above but overall my writing was influenced very early on by Douglas Adams and Phillip Pullman. I wanted to be magical, but also amusing. 5. Do you have any friends that have created a Warden/Hawke/Inquisitor/Rook that you've basically adopted? Yes. I still use Pandy's Hawke but also steal @fatedvoyage's Van. I love Thora for Inquisitor but am coming to love Asharen more and more since I've been back here, as well as @keepslore. There's a lot of great Rooks so far I'm sure I'll absorb one. 6. What's a fandom work (writing, art, etc) that you think is super cool and you wish more people would see it? Share it with us! I mentioned this Sebastian and Nathaniel fic from Gaia to @mournflame the other day and I think all of you should read it too.

Muse Portion!:

1. Who or what are some things/powers/people that your muse admires? Unfortunately for Nathaniel, his greatest hero was his father growing up. He admired the man very much. 2. Does your muse have a "hero" that they look up to from canon? In an extension of the above, Nathaniel saw Rendon as a hero for his contributions to the Rebellion. He really believed that his father was courageous and brave. 3. What legends, tales, or stories helped to form your muse's ideas of power and heroism? Many! He heard all the stories of the Heroes of the Rebellion as he grew up, from Maric and Loghain to his own father. Standing against the odds, acting noble even when your title has been stripped from you and taking back what is yours by right. Those are the stories that inspired him. 4. Conversely, what sort of legends, tales, or stories formed their idea of what a villain is? Much the same. Nathaniel does not care for Orlais, though chevaliers are a bit softer in his mind thanks to his time with his mother's cousin. 5. Are there other muses in DARP that your muse admires? Or reviles/fears? (be careful with that second one and be RESPECTFUL.) In DARP I think he would admire @mercysought's Anora. He begins hating every HOF that slaughtered his father but especially Couslands. 6. If your muse is someone who has companions or is one of the groups of companions from canon, how do they and their companions play off of each other? Are they friends? Enemies? Two dudes who'd cross the street to avoid each other? What are their most powerful connections within their "group"? He's got a wide variety in the Awakening crew. He and Sigrun are fairly close. He has a crush on Velanna, but she rebuffs him. Anders frustrates him, Oghren disgusts him. Justice... Justice tends to piss him off.

[coridotmp3]

Hey Cori 🤗

WIP Ask Game - Can't choose between Carole Lives and Carpenter!Jake (hehe)....

Okay okay okay.

CAROLE, please? 😄😘

RED MY DARLING !!! HI HOW ARE YOU??

carole bradshaw must live dammit aka "you'll never let me see you cry again"

"You're in remission, Carole."

It's been twelve years since Carole's doctor said the words that had Bradley crying for four days straight. Twelve years since Bradley nearly lost all of the family he has left. Twelve years of getting to have his mother by his side through all the major milestones they never thought she'd live to see. Twelve years of peace that have now come to a skidding halt.

Now, there's a new diagnosis, a new set of treatment, a new live-in nurse that drives Bradley up the wall every chance he gets. But he's willing to put up with it, so long as his mom comes out of it alright.

a little excerpt that for you:

"Listen, I understand that this whole experience is jarring. The last thing you expected was for your mom to get sick again, and to have to put your life on pause to move back in with her. That's a lot. And to have to standby and watch someone else take care of her? That's too much for most people, but for you, it has to be enough.

Bradley, I know that you don't want me here, but I need to be here. In order for her to get through this in one piece, you're gonna have to get used to me being here. For Carole's sake, I need you to stand back and let me do my job."

carpenter!jake (no set title yet but eventually i'll get to it)

Bradley Bradshaw has six weeks to renovate the house he's inherited before he's supposed to report to his new command as Top Gun instructor. Once he's done with most of the painting, plumbing, electric, etc, he decides that he wants to fix the various wooden chairs and tables his parents collected over the years. When he calls a local woodworking company to ask for tips on how to restore them, they respond by sending out one of their workers to take a look at the pieces. And goddamn if that Adonis of a carpenter doesn't look great in a tool belt.

no excerpt yet but just imagine jake giving off the same energy as bill pullman in while you were sleeping <3

[lucrezianoin]

Just read "Until nothing remains", and am absolutely blown away by ur writing. U wrote the characters so accurately that I practically heard and saw them as I read! The ending gave me shivers. I will continue to read ur writing and I'd like u to share reccs of ur favorite books/ media that I can read that inspired u (apart from bg3 ofc). Also, if u ever write a book, I'll buy it.

I AM SHAKINGGG I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO SAY

Thank you so so much!! This threw me into an evening of writing and I almost finished the new chapter now :'DD hopefully I will post it soon.

I am just speechless, and I AM I FEEL SO GRATEFUL. It means so much to me. Just knowing someone enjoys what I write and they thing it is written well. I have a lot of ups and downs, writing wise, so some days I feel like I am just writing garbage haha (but I had to learn that even if that is the case, I should still have fun writing garbage).

OHH WHAT INSPIRED ME?? I FEEL LIKE HONORED. THANK YOU. (Also I wish I could finish the book I wanted to write... maybe one day....)

I am not sure if I consciously find inspiration somewhere, I am quite certain I have some pieces of literature and stories that are so deeply settled in my mind that I cannot help by unconsciously being inspired by them.

My absolute favorite theme is trust. I love trust so much, the idea of people earning complete and absolute trust in each other's, trust betrayed, trust given with high difficulty. Untrusty characters learning how to trust etc. Everything about it *chef kiss*.

Also when I write I tend to latch to characters that settles into this dichotomy of "They (character A) were so kind to me (character B)" vs "I (character B) wish I had been kinder to them (character A)". I adore it. The quote is almost word from word from one of my fav romance novel which is "The Rifter" by Ginn Hale.

Regarding my absolute favorite stories: Watership Down (Richard Adams) and His Dark Materials (Philip Pullman) are my favorite novels in all existence! I also adore Les Miserables and many others, but these two I have read more times than I can count.

I am also avidly into arthuriana and have collected arthurian texts and novels for ages. That is how I learnt English (by reading medieval tales and stories). I love Exiled from Camelot (Cherith Baldry) and The Idylls of the Queen (Ann Karr) and I adore how angst, trust and comfort/plot twist are written in those novels. And for the theme of abuse, I think nothing hit me as hard as The winter prince (Elizabeth Wein). In general I have read about.... 200 king arthur novels, and always tried to look for Mordred in them. Mordred, my beloved, the traitor.

More than anything I adore seeing how the same characters (king arthur legends revolve around the same characters) are reinterpreted and especially how a plot wanted by an author needs to change a character. For me it is like a puzzle.

ALSO I LOVE MY HERO ACADEMIA! Characters who are their own worst enemies, my beloved.

also shamelessly linking my fic "Until nothing remains" here.

THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN!

[nerdanel01]

writing process!

I received a VERY kind ask from Anon back in late September asking about what my writing process was/how I outline etc. Well, I drafted a response to that ask this morning and saved it to go back and grab some references from google docs, and instead of saving the draft Tumblr ate both the draft and the ask. :) classic. Anyway, sorry Anon and I hope you see this.

___

hello anon! I am sorry it too me so long to reply to this, but when I recieved it I was wrestling with writers block and trying and failing to finish Live is a Stranger before Veilguard game out—I didn’t feel much like I should be giving writing advice to anyone. Feeling a little more prepared to answers this now that I’m hitting a groove with for love is strong as death. :) Under cut due to absurd length.

Firstly, IMO, no writing advice is going to work for everybody. Everyone is going to have a different set of methods and routines when it comes to writing. For example, one of my favorite authors, Philip Pullman, is apparently also a madman, and says this about his writing: 

“Every sentence I write I intend to stay writ. In other words, I never write with the thought that I can change it later, it's only provisional, even when I immediately do that very thing. Remember: structure is superficial. Tone is fundamental."

I don’t disagree about time, but ‘every sentence I write I intend to stay writ’ sounds like the seventh circle of hell to me. Works for him though I guess!

On the other hand, though I have never watched the Simpsons, this is another approach to writing offered by one of its writers (John Swartzwelder) that I happen to agree with very much: 

"Since writing is very hard and rewriting is comparatively easy and rather fun, I always write my scripts all the way through as fast as I can, the first day, if possible, putting in crap jokes and pattern dialogue—“Homer, I don’t want you to do that.” “Then I won’t do it.” Then the next day, when I get up, the script’s been written. It’s lousy, but it’s a script. The hard part is done. It’s like a crappy little elf has snuck into my office and badly done all my work for me, and then left with a tip of his crappy hat. All I have to do from that point on is fix it. So I’ve taken a very hard job, writing, and turned it into an easy one, rewriting, overnight. I advise all writers to do their scripts and other writing this way."

I used to try to make everything perfect the first time I wrote it. That patently does not work for me. To borrow a metaphor from visual arts, writing to me feels very sculptural—the blank page full of possibilities feels solid—and writing is chipping away at it, bringing it closer to the shape of what I had imagined in my head, getting a little more detailed and refined with each editing pass. 

For most fics (long fics or one shots) I do have an outline. This helps me to 1) start a piece or chapter knowing where I want it to end, which helps with pacing and 2) stay organized in general since I often skip around a lot as I write. For love is strong as death actually has two outlines in the same doc: one that outlines the chapters of the fic, and one that lays out the chronological sequence of events that make up the fic, since there will be a lot of flashbacks and it helped to have it organized both ways. 

The relevant outlines then get pasted into a fresh doc, where I write literally into the outline and build up the draft pass by pass until it’s ready for a final edit. If there’s a part I’m struggling with, I give myself permission to skip it or write placeholder language. (The final description of Baron Van Markham’s grisly transformation in the latest update I published did not get written fully until the last editing pass on the chapter.)

I went back into the versions of my latest update to grab the very earliest version of the scene with Varric at the end of Chp. 3 of for love is strong as death. Riddled with typos, inexplicable French punctuation from typing on mobile, just dialog beats:

« Bellara fixed the eluvian. Neve wants to use it to take us to Antiva. To meet the Crows. » « To Treviso? » asked Varric, knowingly.  « Yes. » Glowing look in his eye. « Well how about that. All that time you spent in that shitty Antivsn bar and you finally get to go for real. Listen, Rook-«  « Inknow, Varric. I won’t allow myself to get distracted. » « I was going to say, Enjoy yourself. » « Enjoy myself? When there’s gods on the loose? » « You push yourself too hard, you’ll burn out. So… go meet the Crows. But stop and sample a cup of coffee by the canals while you’re there. Maybe even get one of the Crows to take yu to that opera house so you can hear for real what thehveee all wailing in tbr bar. »

Which got drafted to into this exchange:

But it felt strange, to be in the Lighthouse infirmary, sitting beside his bed. Somehow—despite the fact that she had told Varric it was no use trying to talk to Solas at the point he had already begun his ritual—Agnes couldn’t help but somewhat responsible that he had gotten hurt. The fact that Varric was always so supportive during these visits made that guilt no less difficult to bear.

Agnes picked at a seam in her trousers, not quite able to look Varric in the eyes, flashing him only occasional glances as she told him, “Bellara—the Veil Jumper that we picked up in Arlathan Forest—says she has fixed Solas’ eluvian.” After a pregnant pause she added, “Neve wants to use it to take us to Antiva. To meet the Crows.”

Agnes could not look at Varric, but she did not need to be to know that his eyes were set on her, pinning her with a knowing look. Maker, she could hear the grin in his voice when he asked, “To Treviso?”

“Yes.”

“Well, how about that.”

More details, proper punctuation, etc. A lot more attention paid to the "connecting" pieces between the lines and the scenes themselves.

As for the yearning, I think a lot of my writing has always just really been inspired by music—opera keeps creeping into my Emmrook works, but I listened to a lot of Warped Tour style pop punk alt rock etc. during my formative teen years and was really invested in lyrics, so I think that’s where a lot of that comes from. Inside sometimes I’m still fourteen, wearing bad pharmacy eyeliner, singing along to My Chemical Romance in front of my bedroom mirror. ;)

Random other advice:

-I really recommend reading your final edit aloud to yourself if you can. I tend to catch a lot of mistakes this way that would otherwise escape my notice. 

-READ. Especially when you have writers block, read. Read widely, and read things twice. There are some books (Deathless, Gods of Jade and Shadow, The Secret History; lately Gideon the Ninth) that I’ve easily read over three or four times. Rereading old favorites let’s you notice new things about them—how events are foreshadowed, how plots are paced, how characters are built. 

-I will also sometimes play a sort of game with myself when I’m reading, where I’ll keep a running list of intriguing words with the right "vibes" for inspo on my latest wip. I was reading some Poe stories in between editing passes in the latest War of the Banners updates, so my list looked something like "perfidy, admonish, monotony, sepulcher, phantasmagoric, encrimsoned" etc. Some of these words did work themselves handily into the wip. 

-If you’re stuck in a wip, for me, “the problem is usually further back.” (I don’t know where this quote is from but maybe Jane the Virgin lol?) If I can’t figure out a line of response dialog, it’s sometimes because of the way that line was set up, or even the premise of the whole scene. 

-If there’s a scene you really don’t want to write because the idea of it bores you to tears, don’t. If it’s painful for you to write, it won’t be enjoyable to read. Give yourself freedom to tell your stories in a non linear way, and don’t feel the need to explain everything. So many times in my Solavellan long fic I toiled over scenes I felt I “had" to include, and was able to cut them with narration. 

-As important and sacred as the outline is, know when to abandon it. The two War of the Banners chapters in my latest wip were originally supposed to be one. That would have been miserable for me and everyone who read it.  

-I think it also helps to know when is the best time for you personally to write. For me, my brain is most productive and creative with language between like, 6-10a, so that’s when I try to do most of my writing if I can. I know that sounds like insanity to some people, that’s fine. But if I tried to write new drafts after work, or really anytime past 4pm, I know myself well enough to know it would be extremely unproductive. 

That’s all I’ve got for now! Apologies again for the late reply but feel free to drop me another ask if there’s anything specific you’d like to ask about. 

[cinderellasfella]

One thing about the ending to The Amber Spyglass I really came to appreciate over the years was Lyra and Will's promise not to hold any future partners they may have in comparison to what they've lost. Because, considering the circumstances, it would have been so easy to have them vow never to love anyone else ever again. To play into the idea that you only get one great love in your life, and anything or anyone else that comes after is inferior.

We have a pair of kids who were destined to save all worlds across the multiverse, who reignited the very spark of consciousness and free will through the simple act of falling in love, and who are now going to be permanently separated just after they've realised what they share. They're going to return to the bench in their own Oxford to be near each other every midsummer's day for the rest of their lives, they vow to find each other again after they die and become one with the universe, "every atom of me and every atom of you", etc. etc., cue the reader's heart cracking clean in two. A sweeping, once in a lifetime love story.

And yet, Will and Lyra acknowledge that they may love again in their lifetimes. It won't be the same as what they shared, but that doesn't mean it will be worth any less, just that it'll be a different relationship. They'll have their yearly hour at the bench to remember their first love, and they'll still let other people into their hearts and cherish them because, after all they've learned and gone through, they need and deserve to live full and happy lives. But a full and happy life does not have to be limited to one love, important as it was to the people involved. And I think it was wonderful of Pullman to include that idea.

[daemians-n-daemons]

Dæmonism 101 - Differences from HDM

Though daemonism is inspired by Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials, things don’t quite work the same in our world. Here are some key differences between daemons in daemonism and daemons in His Dark Materials. 

Our daemons aren’t physical. Daemons in daemonism are constructs of the mind and heart, so they can't interact with the world directly. Daemians can see their daemon in their mind’s eye, like imagining the form of their daemon nearby or on a table, and hear their daemon in the same way we hear our internal thoughts. But we can't see or hear another person’s daemon. We can imagine what their feathers or fur or heat might feel like, but can’t physically hold them. On the plus side, that does mean daemons can roll their eyes or make jokes without getting us in trouble. 

Our daemons don’t magically settle at adulthood. Many daemians use a form finding system created by the daemian community in order to choose their daemon’s settled form. In our world no magic happens to cause a daemon to settle as the perfect form to match their human, which is why form finding systems were created to fill the gap. Settling and form finding aren’t a requirement either. Some daemians find a settled form, but their daemon doesn't take that form all the time, or at all. Some daemians don’t look for a fitting form because they're not interested in that. Others pick a settled form according to personal preference. Someone might find a settled form and realize later on that another form fits them best, or that they have changed and the previous form no longer fits. All of these are valid in daemonism. 

Daemians can have more than one daemon. Though most daemians only have the one, there is no obligation to have one demon like in the books. Some daemians might feel like there is still a side of them that doesn’t get expressed by their current daemon, and want another daemon to connect with this side of them, for example. Other daemians have a second daemon appear of its own will, without really trying. There is no limit to the number of daemons one can have. 

Our daemons don’t need to be the opposite gender of their humans. Though it’s the norm in the books, this strict binary model doesn’t work for everyone. Daemons can be of any gender, just like humans. There is no requirement for a woman to have a male daemon, or for a masculine person to have a feminine daemon, or for a non-binary person to have a non-binary daemon, etc. Whatever gender and pronouns work for you and your daemon is what matters. Some daemons even use daemon specific neopronouns like dae/daem. 

Our daemons don’t have to take real life animal forms. The only limit is your imagination! Daemons can take the form of fantasy creatures like a Pokémon or griffon or dragon. They can be a dog-sized bear, a fish that flies in the air or a green winged rat. They can even take the form of a human. Exploring different forms outside of the ones your daemon usually takes can be a fun activity or challenge for the both of you.

Daemonism is such a personal experience. Daemons are as unique as humans are. Don’t let the book limit you or your daemon!

[tinyelephentalchaos]

I’ve been reading His Dark Materials, somewhat slowly, after having watched the show. I also saw the movie when it came out, what, 12 years ago, maybe?

Thinking about the guard and what their dæmons would be. Also what gender/sex: it would make sense, with most if not all of the guard being queer, and Andy… possibly being older than the concept of gender as we know it (are non-binary dæmons a thing? Also what do we know about neolithic conceptions of gender?) for them to have dæmons of the same gender… Though, would this go against the theme of them being the same as everyone else, since same-gender dæmons are rare...? Plus, the intersection between dæmons and sexuality is murky re: gender, given Pullman's answer to "could a character's dæmon being the same gender as them mean they're queer?" was "maybe", iirc.

Anyways, we know that they were born several centuries-to-millennia apart, so it wouldn't be that strange if they all happened to have same-gender dæmons, but it might make them stand out in public...

Anyways, here's a list of the guard and their dæmons, Lykon's is unnamed as of now because I have very little idea of where he could be from, or what language he would have spoken, aside from the Greek name he took.

Andy has a saker falcon, called Nyx (Νύξ "night"). That's not their first name, just as Andromache isn't Andy's: they remember the starting sound of each other's name throughout the millennia, bits and pieces of PIE which they speak amongst themselves and Quỳnh. Well, now, with her dæmon.

Quỳnh has a blue krait, named Tâm (from 心 "heart"*), who coiled herself around Andy's shoulders after Quỳnh was lost and never let go.

Nile had thought, at first, that Andy just.. had two dæmons. Why not? Here's this immortal warrior who claims that they lead an army of four people, has been a god, etc. They can have two dæmons, it's fine.

Nile's just... trying not to let her mind break, thank you very much. So, she's just accepting whatever at this point.

Lykon had a painted dog, who alongside him in, uh, whatever-post 331 BC/pre-1099 AD. (I'm begging, Greg/Victoria/Gina, give us a more concrete timeline.) When they disappeared, that's when Andy and Quỳnh knew he wasn't reviving.

Joe has a lion named Mahaad/Liyana (مَهّاد/لِيانَ��ٌ "comforter"/"tenderness"**) who preferred a rabbit form when he was a child.

Nicky has a wolf with a winter coat because fluffy wolves are adorable, named Concetto/Rossana ("Conception (of Jesus)"/"Dawn/Bright Star"***).

The two have long abandoned any sense of taboo around touching each other's dæmon: brushing past them on missions, cuddling with them during downtime: Mahaad/Liyana will often laze around in the kitchen while Nicky cooks, stretching their neck so Nicky can scratch their chin as he passes by their sunspot, and Concetto/Rossana'll rest in Joe's lap while he draws. As it was, it took Nile that entire first weekend to figure out who's dæmon was whose, not helped that they respond to each other's names. Nicky explained it like this when she asked: "Over the centuries, we've become intertwined, our souls bound together as one. Why shouldn't we call our dæmons by the same sounds, or touch them with our own hands?"

Booker has a polecat with white-ish markings on their face and body named Jules/Chloé (French form of Julian/French form of Chloe****).

Nile has a fox sparrow with russet feathers named Seth/Lucy (from Hebrew שת "Appointed"/Latin Lux "Light"*****). I feel like both are appropriate given Nile's probably Protestant background.

All of the immortals, minus Nile and excluding Quỳnh as an outlier since she's been separated from Tâm for centuries, can separate from their dæmon to some extent. Andy often asks Nyx to scout for the group, and while they tend to slow down for the duration of separation beyond ~ 20 meters, they no longer experience pulling (separation from one's dæmon) as everyone else. (But Tâm'll coil closer around Andy's shoulders, regardless, whispering soft nothings in whatever language she can think of.)

Joe and Nicky, meanwhile, if they can help it, will go with one another's dæmon if they need to separate. So that they can take comfort from the other shape of their soul, and know their first soul-form is protected above all else. When other circumstances arise and they're separated from both their dæmons, they look to each other for comfort through the pulling.

Booker ( like Ms. Coulter), can go the longest time apart from his dæmon without a shared goal or someone else to rely on. It's... not great, and he tries not to do so often simply because it's noticeable and he's trying to pretend, at least, that he's relatively happy, but it's a useful skill especially when there are tight spaces or small openings in a structure.

The first time this happened, actually, was while he was dying his first deaths. Jules/Chloé left to find some kind help, after the first few days. Ended up finding Andy, Joe & Nicky, and lead them all back to Booker. Of the others in the guard, Jules/Chloé is the closest to Andy and Nyx, simply because the pair were the first the dæmon had seen in weeks.

Lastly, as to Quỳnh, Tâm and separation: when Quỳnh was taken in the iron maiden, both Tâm and Nyx were held in another part of the dungeon, as the captors thought that would weaken their powers. So, she's been apart, not only from Andy, Joe and Nicky, for the past 400-500 years, but from her dæmon, too. The Pulling alone was excruciating, halfway down to the bottom of the ocean, she died from it alone. Yet, coupled with the drowning, the riviving, the snippets of dreams... when she finally escapes, Quỳnh's barely clinging to the last shreds of her sanity, and that's only because she knows Andy's been looking after Tâm-- their bond, though stretched to its last threads, still exists and she just knows Tâm's been safe 'til 1812, when she first glimpses her again. She goes peacefully to death that time. What should she care of her own suffering if her dæmon is truly safe? And then she revives, again and again, and she recalls her rage...

---

Sources on names that I'm pretty sure are accurate, but again, please correct me if they're not:

*https://www.behindthename.com/name/ta13m/submitted

**https://quranicnames.com/liyana/ and https://quranicnames.com/mahaad/

***https://www.behindthename.com/name/concetto (masculine form of Concetta, unrelated to the Italian word meaning concept or the English word meaning conceit. Spelled the same though, and is a cognate of Concepción) and https://www.behindthename.com/name/rossana and https://www.behindthename.com/name/roxana

**** https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jules and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chloe

***** Gen. 4:25, New Revised Standard Version and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucy and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucius

[measuringbliss]

Reading through His Dark Materials (Book 2) 1/2 (Chapters 1 to 9)

Let's keep reading vol 2 of His Dark Materials (the books and saga have completely different names in France lmao)

I read the 1st book in a day, during my first year at university, during classes. It was, like, 3-4 years ago. I read a bit of the first chapter of Book 2 back in September but didn't continue. I'm doing this right now.

So Will meets "Lyra", whose Daemon is named "Pantalaimon"... like Book 1 Lyra. But she can't be Lyra, right? OG Lyra? I remember she followed her father back at the end of Book 1, but... Hmm... I didn't remember Lyra being so wild and like, not knowing how to cook. Huh. *grumbles* But she doesn't have the same surname...

...Is she Lyra's evil twin?

(don't answer questions by the way, it's mostly for myself)

...AND SHE HAS THE ALITHIOMETER.

And she thinks about Iorek (aka the cute big bear). I guess she's Lyra. Huh. Hmm.

(I have to say the town description made me think of Lurelin Village in BOTW, I had the music in my head reading those parts)

CH2

Serafina Pekkala is a lesbian. I feel like she is. She's part of the Lobby. *sees mention of big snuggly ferocious polar bears* god i need a bear... Fra Pavel was mentioned in the first book, right? I remember that name. Mrs Coulter says that Lyra was "conceived in sin and born in shame", what does that mean exactly...

Is the thing with the tree branch something that happened before? Doesn't ring a bell. Huh. (Edit: Yep. It's mentioned at the council later in the chapter. Nice.)

Anyway, Mrs Coulter obviously sucks but I always forget how cruel she is. It was a violent scene. Philip Pullman didn't seem to pull many punches, writing these books.

Lord Asriel's butler "knows him better than any woman ever could"... They fucked. Lord Asriel is an god-killing bicon. We stan! We stan so much! He's done nothing wrong ever.

(Serafina Pekkala is definitely not straight)

So Lord Asriel really fucks, huh? Mrs Coulter, Ruta Skadi, Thorold... Okay, so Lyra's other surname was given to her by Iorik. I guess I can definitely conclude both Lyras are the same characters. Yay!

Ruta mentions circumcision and wow, Pullman really has *beef* with some people... Love it for him.

CH3

It's actually fascinating seeing Will and Lyra interact. Of course she'd look at him weird for suggesting she'd wear jeans...

CH4 (this is the moment I switched from The Matrix score to The Fast and the Furious, it's just a fun tidbit, don't question it)

Quick question/theory: Is John Parry (Will's dad) Lord Asriel? Maybe he found a window to change world and couldn't get back, but that would have certainly motivated him to find a way back, and it would have inspired him to seek other words, and thus question the Church, etc. It would create an interesting parralel between Asriel and Will. I hope Lyra gets to see a picture of the dude and exclaim "Wait a minute...". WAIT, ACTUALLY, THAT WOULD EXPLAIN WHY PEOPLE WERE MEDDLING WITH WILL'S LIFE. Omg. I should reread the first chapter... *does exactly that* Hmm. Intriguing.

I wonder if those "ha those things are exactly the same in both worlds" (the initials engraved in the stones, what Lyra sees at the museum) are supposed to be hints, or just coincidences, as in, "some things find a way to happen regardless of obstacles" or if I'm supposed to imagine that both worlds resonate so much that they corrupt each other in some way.

(side note: the first F&F score is surprisingly good?)

I was hoping the old guy spying on Lyra would be an ally, but he's described as having penetrating eyes, a pointy tongue, and the word "rot/putrefaction" is mentioned. (I'm reading in French so when I cite the text, it might not be accurate, but if you've read the book you'll know what I mean.)

I'm starting to wonder what's the goal of the alithiometer. Obviously, it has some sort of conscience; is it truly trying to help Lyra? It seems, you know, magical. Godly. Are we going to meet its creator? I mean, if it's G-man, probably at some point, right? Anyway, Lyra, please read the old guy's card. I'm curious to know his name and stuff. Anyway, if the alitiomether is guiding Lyra to help her find John Parry, aka Will's dad, aka possibly Lord Asriel, does that mean the alithiometer is on his side? Well, maybe not. Huh.

I find it interesting that Lyra adopted the name given to her by Iorik. Anyway, Pullman throwing shade at the underfunding of researchers, we love to see it.

I wonder if the Dr. Malone will stay Lyra's ally for long, I got a bad feeling...

The archeologist is raising my "WILL'S DAD IS LORD ASRIEL" flag even higher. Or maybe "the physician". In both cases, I'm convinced John is linked to Lord Asriel. Okay, maybe this is more likely. I'll keep both theories. Was the reporter the old guy that Lyra met at the museum? ...Or one of Will's agressors. That works too.

At this point, I'm begging Will and Lyra to use the documents they have in their possession; Will his father's writing case, and Lyra the old man's card. Anyway, I'm pretty sure the attorney is about to die.

CH5 (we're now listening to Norn9's videogame score)

Lyra and Will's methods of being discreet both have merits.

(I'm annoyed that Norn9's main theme only appears on the main menu; it lasts almost 6 minutes, is pretty great, but you only hear 10 5 seconds of it if you play normally. But I much prefer the next track.)

The cat can't lick its own ear now, can it? ...Can it? Anyway, Will's finally reading the letters!!!!!

After reading them (and finishing the chapter)... Hmm. This man does not sound like Lord Asriel. Huh. I hope Will and John get to be reunited.

CH6

Oh. That's where I'm realizing I kind of don't care about Lee Scoresby but... sure.

A witch wanted to be the dude's wife? She must have been pretty horny.

I was pretty uninterested at first, but the Magisterium planting men in research stations? Now, that's juicy! AND HE ATTACKS LEE?! OH MY GOD OK.

Maybe Grummann's a zombie. I saw that word-drop earlier!! I noticed it!!!!!

Anyway. This infodump is so interesting. Side note: While in English, Book 2 is called The Subtle Knife, in French it's called La Tour des Anges--the tower of angels. So we got a namedrop. Huh. Maybe what the philosophers used to open worlds was said subtle knife?

So Lord Asriel creating a passage between worlds fucked over Citagazze and its world. Huh.

I feel like Ruta is gonna die. Please don't die, I like you.

CH7 (Now listening to La La Land Records's release of the Spider-Man 1 score)

Nooooo give me Ruta back, I need to see her encounter with Lord Asriel...!

Omg. Shifty people are investigating Lyra and Dr Malone? Oof. WHITE EYEBROWS? OMG. LYRA RUN. (This feels like a horror novel.) OH MY GOD THEY NAMEDROPPED WILL AAAAAAAAH LYRA GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE. AAAAAEFJZEDIOHJZEOEDPDZKOZEPDZEKOPZDEJZIZEOZEI

oH dear this is terriyfing OH GOD NO LYRA DON'T STEP INTO THE CAR NOOOOOOOO

OKAY THEORY TIME: THE OLD GUY IS GOD. IT'S FUCKING GOD PLAYING WITH LYRA. UGH.

OG MY GOD HE STOLE IT?! HE STOLE IT?! OH MY GOD. OH MY GOOOOOOD. OMG. OH. I CAN'T. I WASN'T READY FOR SUCH INTENSITY. WHAT THE FUCK.

Narratively speaking, removing the alitiomether from Lyra's hands is great because it was starting to become a bit of a cheat code (though I wasn't complaining about it).

Is the book going to end with Will finding his dad? Would be a nice parallel.

So the card... wasn't especially enlightening to me. Oh well. According to Google Reviews, Limefield House has very comfortable beds! Oh but wait, it's situated in Livingston. The one in Headington is strictly fictional. Google Maps does indicate roughly an hour to go from the center of Oxford to Headington so I guess Pullman knew the area pretty well.

GOD. I was planning to stop this reading session but this got so interesting.

CH8

You know what this reminds me of? Ulysse Moore. *nobody reacts because nobody has read those books* Well I have! The first 9 books, I believe. Began with volume 6, then read them all in order. It got really aimless with 7, if you ever decide to read them, stop after 6, it offers a nice conclusion. ANYWAY. DOORS TO OTHER WORLDS. KEYS. SECRETS. PEOPLE WITH FORBIDDEN KNOWLEDGE. SECRET CLUBS. I'm just now getting why I was thinking of this series this whole time.

Pantalaimon turns into a bear and I swoon <3 Bears <3 <3 <3

I didn't expect such violence, but I remember Iorik's fight in the first book being pretty harsh too. Anyway, Dancing with the Bears just turned into friggin' Saw.

This book is gonna end with Will creating a passage to the land of God or whatever with the knife after having found his father. I'm not sure yet on whether Will's dad will die or not.

Oh, Pullman is shipping Lyra and Will. Okay. Sure.

I feel like the Specters are an allegory for the climate change.

CH9, can't stop, won't stop

OMG MRS COULTER. OMG LORD BOREAL. OMG. CITAGAZZE WAS THE CROSSROADS?!

It's so funny seeing this asshole dump the whole plot to ~Marisa~. "Spectres? We don't have time for this. But I'm still gonna tell you!"

anyway I HATE THIS FUCKING MONKEY OH MY GOOOOOD and OMG IT'S THE CAT!!!! OH NO IT'S GONNA DIE ISN'T IT?! ;-;

Okay I've almost reached 2/3 of the book in one sitting, it's almost 2am, I should eat and sleep for a bit

I hope y'all enjoyed this ridiculous post

[addoration]

thoughts on will parry's predicament in tsk (and bleeding into tas, so beware spoilers)

(forgive me for inaccuracies in this meta, i dont have my copies of hdm with me so im going on memory alone!)

so will parry, maybe 13 years old, has murdered a man. manslaughter, really, and was it even really his fault? the man shouldn't have been there in the first place.

he runs and runs and runs in fear, all the way from - what was it, winchester? - to oxford. he's physically running away, and while he would like to mentally run away too, he can't. he's gripped with fear and guilt and despair, and the only good emotion he's probably feeling is gladness that he had managed to get his mum out of there before that night.

he's too young and doesnt understand enough to realise that the dead man would never have been found. pullman does such a good job of making us get inside will's mind, see things from his childish perspective - we know, distantly, that these men must have been hired by someone else who's up to no good to go and break in to his house etc, and thus we might deduce that there would be some sort of "clean up" where the death of the man doesn't see the light of day.

in the show, we're shown this explicitly. it's almost too obvious? we know suddenly that it's boreal behind the invasions n stalking.

in the book, however, we're left as shocked and reeling as will is. like i said, distantly we know all those facts - but pullman manages to write in such a way that we see things simply from will's perspective, and we forget all logic. we're all scared little boys running from a bad deed.

and he meets lyra, and amongst the things he's thinking is probably "she doesn't know what ive done. i can still be a good person to her."

except of course, lyra pries and consults the alethiometer and she finds out exactly what will is. a murderer.

and well, anyone who has heard me speak abt it before knows that that scene where she finds out he's a murderer and is just like "awesome, he can keep us safe then" is one of my favourites. i think they did it dirty in the show. BUT regardless, i believe that this is both anticlimatic and also a climax at the same time.

anticlimatic because she finds out will's a murderer and she's actually put at ease. climactic because of the exact same reasons: its a pivotal moment in their relationship, even as early on as it is.

(actually can i say that as much as i adore the scene, i find it a bit..... wrong? it always rubbed me the wrong way that the altheiometer, a truth telling device, called will a murderer. it shouldnt, because that is ultimately what he is!!! he killed someone, intentional or not. but.

but.

will parry unintentionally and quite by accident killed that man. the word murderer just never sat right with me, despite it being true. i dont know if im alone in this - does anyone else feel this way??

anyway, moving on. the fact is, he seems to quickly forget about it. he's still on the look out for coppers when they cross back into his world, so of course it's not out of his mind completely! he's paranoid but not so paranoid as to be irrational.

but he goes the rest of the books without really thinking about it much more. remember when he draws the knife and intends to stand up to - who was it, the metatron? he does so without a thought.

which is partly on par for his character: he's a protector, he's a survivor. but i also feel like pullman forgets to give him any of the trauma that should come with accidentally killing someone.

even though kids are more resilient. even though its very much likely that he's pushed that into the mists of his mind simply because he has more pressing matters to attend to (finding lyra).

actually it's just occured to me; he doesn't have time to really grieve his father, either.

but anyway, back to the topic.

when the knife shatters, he's thinking of his mother. when he cant make another cut, he's thinking of his mother.

it's interesting that pullman chose love to be the driving force behind everything that will parry does. i actually really appreciate and adore that. i don't belive its ever explicitly said? but he is the bravest character in the trilogy. lyra endures a lot and is brave too, don't get me wrong, but there's something about will, seen consciously putting love first time and time again, that makes you remember that he, unlike lyra, did not choose this adventure, and so him standing in the face of it all and choosing to love anyway is a sign of his bravery.

i mean, thats not to mention the time he stands in front of iorek and says "fight me".

it's interesting to me. he is by far the kindest character in the series. even lyra, though never meaning ill, has her moments of small cruelty, though they taper out towards the end of the triology as she grows up and is also influenced by will.

i started this trying to gather a few thoughts on will being a murderer, and ive ended up concluding that will is the bravest and kindest character. do you think balthamos would have done what he did, sacrificing his life, if he had never been influenced by will?

and let me touch on one thing i said in passing: will did not choose this journey. men started stalking his mother and him, forcing him into the actions at the start of tsk; lyra, on the other hand, fought tooth and nail to go north and save roger, and then continued to chose to walk over the bridge between worlds that asriel created. you can say that it was fate and she was destined to do so, so she didn't have a choice either.... but its not true. she had a choice the same way eve had a choice.

well! ive said a lot and resolved none of the floating thoughts in my head. feel free to comment or add your thoughts to this, or come talk to me in the hdm server (msg me if you would like a link) about what ive said!! i just love will parry a lot.

[robbyrobinson]

Thoughts On Gaiman's Problem of Susan

In the Last Battle, Peter; Edmund; and Lucy Pevensie are taken into Narnia when they alongside their parents and Diggory, etc. are all killed in a horrific train wreck that, for all intents and purposes, is blown off as no big deal. More alarming, Susan is the only one left alive on Earth because she "no longer was a friend of Narnia." That is the most we get from the siblings about what became of their sister which amounts to speaking trash about her without her being able to defend herself.

Naturally, many people had things to say for C.S. Lewis for this development. Some, like JK Rowling, Philip Pullman, and Neil Gaiman have blasted Lewis for the apparent misogyny thrown Susan's way what with her being more interested in lipstick, nylons, and invitations. But I had always defended Lewis by saying that it was a different time and if you really buy into him being a sexist, then what about the scenes where Susan and Lucy take part in the battles for Narnia? Or the White Witch is also pretty badass (albeit, Lewis does kind of have her and the Lady of the Green Kirtle as beautiful/seductive = evil) with her magic and fighting skills. 

But what I think Lewis was truly saying wasn't so much that those things were bad, but it was that Susan was too invested in trying to be an adult, or what she saw as being mature, when she was really being immature and wasting her time obsessing over things which blinded her to the truth of Narnia. And she naturally didn't go to Aslan's Country because she was still alive (though Reepicheep technically did go there without dying but I digress). Lewis had gone on record saying that he envisioned having to make a mature novel in order to wrap up Susan's arc which I could understand...even though most of the characters died in a train wreck and the apocalypse is wrought on Narnia with thousands dying and being sold into slavery followed by them summoning the satanic monster Tash into Narnia. Sadly, he died before that could come to fruition.

However, I just can't help but think had Lewis explained his vision more there wouldn't have been much backlash in regards to Susan's fate. Because how he displayed it in the novel still makes me feel uncomfortable even when I give him the benefit of a doubt. Did Lewis have problematic views? Yes, obviously those opinions would not translate over to the more progressive views of today. But I do not advocate bashing Lewis for them. For instance, Gaiman had written an official fanfiction for the Narnia series appropriately called The Problem of Susan. In it, a young journalist interviews a professor of children's literature Professor Hastings. Hastings is more or less Susan Pevensie somehow talking about the events of the Last Battle which is meta because she is describing her life. Does that then mean that, in this universe, C.S. Lewis was told the story of Narnia by Susan and wrote the books as loosely based on true stories? 

Regardless, the story forces the reader to be in Susan's shoes: she lost her entire family in a horrific accident; she is alone and financially unstable; she would have had to identify the corpses of her family. The Last Battle willfully paints the tragedy as "not bad" because it's okay they all go to Narnia in the end. It even gives off the impression that Susan was being punished for something as trivial as being interested in feminine stuff. 

But where the story goes wrong is the nightmare sequence where Aslan betrays the Pevensies by joining forces with the White Witch and...devouring Susan leaving only her head and eating Lucy...and the White Witch transforms Edmund and Peter into hideous nightmare abominations. And then...uh...Aslan eats the Witch but not in the same way that he ate the two girls. Eh...it's very difficult to talk about. Where I am getting at is that Gaiman seemed to be personally attacking Lewis by demonizing Aslan to attack his faith. Again, did Lewis have problematic beliefs or views? Sure, but that does not make it okay to then use him as a punching back for self-proclaimed SJWs. Not to mention that it adds NOTHING to the short story and amounts to "Susan probably was an action survivor because she managed to escape from an evil god." 

Overall, it is an interesting topic to discuss whether or not there was a "problem" regarding Susan's fate. Do you think it is unfair of her to be left behind on Earth with the knowledge that everyone she loved was dead, or do you think people blow the issue out of proportion? After all, Aslan said "Once a king and queen of Narnia, always a king and queen of Narnia."

[comas-are-for-sleeping]

OK BUT THE THING. THE ONE THING. i wasn't even mad at the show for this i was just pissed at like. the everything. bc a second thing before my brother (the understander of tv and film) pointed out the kids, perfection, etc thing, was that she said once these kids have their daemons taken away they will be freed of sin and have no regrets. babygirl i know sooo many people who've gotten baptized and come to God etc etc and still have regrets. like i know this is probably an issue with ms. coulter (whom holy shit terrifying but complex and interesting but also what the fuck) and her grief and regrets and being generally very fucked up but ALSO CONSIDER. i hate the idea that believing in something takes away everything. like there is so much peace that comes from spending time with God and talking to him and stuff but like it's not. easy? in fact it will probably be the hardest thing you will ever do? so many famous and well respected prophets doubted and hesitated and didn't want to carry out the things asked of them even tho they were disciples of the faith yk? i am SO apologies for dropping five million christianity things into your inbox lmao i just am like going to lay in bed tonight and stare at the ceiling like 🤨 bc nowhere in the Bible does anything say we will ever be free of feelings or regret or even sin on this earth. some of the people i know who are closest to God go through the most suffering because of their desire to know and follow and love God so it was just like. it made me laugh while also making me annoyed that people rlly think it will be easy like yes! real and true peace! cool and vibey and the reason i am who i am and i would be literally nothing without it! but we're still like. human. we still live here. it's just a weird thought i had and also maybe it doesn't relate to what philip pullman thinks at all but i just yeah. weird interesting thoughts

YOU ARE SO VALID FOR ALL OF THIS MY GUY.

and like. YEAH. i hate to be like. ooooh people are so desparaging of christianity but? i think athiests are just. they feel above religion somehow. as if athiesm isn’t just. different from organized religions. on the same plane just in. different areas. (as if i havent done this also rip me ig)

but anyway yeah. i think the whole. that whole getting rid of sin is without regret is possibly a very athiest take? like. i guess i cant really say for sure but. yeah religion is totally just like any other relationship. it takes work and effort and of course you will have regrets for some things i think that’s for? most big complicated experiences?