#same thing with james having bruises from quidditch that regulus presses on

[starlikesolitude]

one day, regulus hears through the grape vine that james is a masochist, so the next time they makeout he takes james' choker into his teeth and lets it snap back onto his neck. regulus has no idea what hes about to get himself into.

[overdueforarevival]

Whumptober Day 11 - A Million Little Times

'Leave no trace behind, like you don't even exist'

Summary: Regulus Black has spent years hating James Potter and yet, somewhere along the line, he became the best thing that ever happened to him. For months, the two sneak around, anonymous to everyone and for a while, they can live in blissful oblivion. What happens when reality comes crashing down on the two and the truth is shown one single time?

Also posted on AO3

‘Make sure nobody sees you leave,’

‘I know,'

‘They can’t know,’

‘I know, sweetheart,’

Regulus is tying James’ tie around his neck, long fingers working deftly and so gently James could almost laugh. He knows why he’s doing it, though. He wants to make sure that nobody will see the bruises now littering James’ neck.

They can never know, Regulus always reminds him. The Quidditch changing rooms are certainly not the most ideal location, but they’re both Captain of their respective teams and know the rota by heart. It’s the only place they can be sure to never be found.

Regulus’ parents will lose it if they ever find out that not only has their son been snogging a man, but a Blood Traitor no less. Walburga and Orion could probably look past James’ inability to produce an heir for Regulus, but they would never forgive him for bedding a Potter.

And James… James might not survive if Sirius were to ever find out that he’d been the one to defile his baby brother. He hadn’t meant for it to happen, truly, it just sort of did. One day, they were screaming at each other across the empty Quidditch changing rooms after a particularly brutal game and the next Regulus had James pinned up against the wall and James was a goner.

‘Same time tomorrow?’ Regulus asks hopefully, flattening James’ tie against his chest.

‘I’ve got detention with Minnie tomorrow. Pete and I jinxed Snape’s last essay to read as a dramatic proclamation of undying love to whoever reads it,’ James apologises. He’s never felt bad for pulling a prank on Snivellus before, but the look on Regulus face makes him regret ever having the idea. ‘Day after?’

‘Hufflepuff are practising ‘til eight and you know what Harper’s like, they’ll be here hours after that,’ Regulus huffs. ‘Friday night? We’re got the pitch, but I’ll have everyone out by half seven. You can come ‘round for eight?’

James smiles and leans forward, pressing a kiss against the boy’s forehead. ‘Friday it is,’

Regulus’ eyes flutter closed at the gesture and James wishes they could stay here a little while longer, but Remus will start getting suspicious. Not that he’d say anything, but Regulus will kill him if anyone finds out, even Remus.

James backs away from Regulus, his hands falling from the boy’s shoulders and he smiles ruefully as they part. It’s not like they’re some kind of long-distance lovers who only see each other once in a blue moon, but it still hurts. Even if they manage to see each other in secret at night, knowing that when they see each other in the day they must act indifferent to each other hurts. If he could, James would avoid Regulus at all costs and yet he’d tear himself apart if it allowed him to catch just a glimpse of him in the hallway.

The stolen looks they dare to risk are enough to keep the oxygen in James’ lungs and, if the corridor is really busy, they might be able to brush arms as they pass. It sounds pathetic, but it’s what James lives for. In a world slowly falling into war and ruin, James will do anything for his breath of fresh air. The small reminder that there is still good in this world. That good is Regulus Black.

James turns around only at the last moment, he always leaves first and then Regulus will follow a while later, turning right to the dungeons while James turns right to Gryffindor tower. He pulls the hood of his robes over his head, keeping his eyes on the ground as he walks. Walking through the Hogwarts grounds in the dark is a difficult task and James has to concentrate to not trip over the roots of the Whomping Willow which must stretch for miles. He doesn’t dare light his wand.

Sirius will be expecting James back soon, he’d told his friends he was out for a run, knowing that even the crisp October air wouldn’t lessen the red in his cheeks by the time he reaches the tower. With every step, James’ heart continues to hammer in his chest, no matter how many times he sees Regulus’ face, the novelty of being with him never seems to wear off. The very moment James sees Regulus Black, he is, well and truly, a godforsaken mess.

James doesn’t take the usual route to the tower, opting for the secret passage Peter discovered in third year that winds through the outer wall. There’s a few windows dotted about and, when James peers out, he can just about see the silhouette of Regulus sneaking back towards his own common room.

It’s late now, nearly midnight, and most of the younger students have vacated the common room in favour of their beds. The only ones left are a few fifth years studying furiously for Slughorn’s potions exam tomorrow. James remembers that one, over half of his class failed and were sure the same fate awaited them in their OWLs.

In the middle, right by the hearth, are his friends. They always wait up for him and he knows it should annoy him, knows that it only makes the likelihood of being caught higher, but it's nice of them. James has the best friends and he hates lying to them, but he knows that Sirius wouldn’t take the news of his relationship with Regulus very well. Sirius has enough going on right now.

Remus is lounging in on a sofa, one hand holding open a book on his lap while the other hangs down and across Sirius’s chest. Sirius always sits near Remus, ever since their argument last year, it’s like he needs to know that Remus isn’t going to leave. It’s a trait James has noticed since they were kids. Anytime Sirius would fall out with someone, Sirius would plaster himself to the person’s side and James hasn’t quite figured out if it’s a sign of loyalty or apology or perhaps something more concerning.

Either way, Remus never seems to mind. Peter is working on an essay in a chair next to the two, parchment wrapped over a book, but he doesn’t seem to be writing much. James can’t blame him, he hasn’t started their Defense essay yet either.

‘Evening, lads,’ James grins easily, hoping that nobody else notices the way his heart is still beating erratically in his chest.

‘Good run, Prongs?’ Sirius asks, looking up at James and for a moment, there’s a flicker of something in his eye. Something like doubt, or perhaps he knows something. No, Sirius can’t possibly know of anything amiss about James’ nightly outings.

‘Yeah, all good. Nearly tripped over one of them bloody tree roots, can’t escape the fuckers anywhere,’ James grumbles. It’s not a complete lie, but not exactly the truth either. ‘I blame Moony,'

‘Oi! Wasn’t my idea to plant a giant fuck-off tree, I’d have been happy with a some chains and a wooden shed,’ Remus jokes, eyes never leaving his book.

‘Wouldn’t you just,’ Sirius smirks slyly, looking up at his boyfriend. Peter gags loudly and Remus smacks Sirius across the face playfully. James laughs at their antics, all the while trying to battle the awful mental image currently trying to take root in his mind.

‘Well on that unsettling note, I’m heading for a shower, you lot enjoy yourselves,’ James tells them, jogging past and up the stairs to their dormitory.

He showers quickly, washing his hair and scrubbing the smell of Regulus off his skin. When he gets out, he dresses in his pyjamas, then wraps his towel around his neck just to be sure. That’s the thing about these illicit affairs, as they reach their end, all evidence is erased and they all move forward as though it never happened a million little times.

Regulus makes sure to spray a little cologne before he exits the bathroom, finding his friends all sitting around their dorm, chatting to each other. Barty and Evan are sitting together, the latter relaxing back against the former and Regulus can see their fingers intertwined on one side. A pang of jealousy strikes through his heart and he hates himself for it. Evan’s parents couldn’t care less about who he dates, in fact Evan once said that he was thirteen when he came out to them. As for Barty, Regulus is pretty sure he lauds his relationship over his father’s head just to spite the man. Regulus wishes he had the guts to do the same.

Nobody will know that James exists in Regulus’ mind. No trace is left behind of Regulus’ whereabouts and nobody will ever even consider the notion that Regulus would do something so preposterous. Regulus Black is and always will be, the perfect heir to his family’s name. With Sirius having been disowned over a year ago, Regulus has taken his place without fuss and this will be his fate until the day he dies.

James’ words echo in his mind for now, promises to always be his and vows that they’ll find a way to be together forever. It’s not that Regulus doesn’t want to be with James for the rest of his life, but he can’t let himself hope. He can’t allow himself to entertain the thought that he could grow old with James and live with him until their dying days. The world will never allow that, not for Regulus. So he won’t hope.

The high will fade as he sits on his own bed, heart still hammering, and joins in the conversation with his friends. Pandora and Dorcas have come over, Dorcas has been quieter recently and Regulus knows she’s planning something, though she isn’t sure what. Pandora keeps casting him sad looks like a puppy watching its owner leave for work.

Even as he talks with his friends, though, chatting about all the work they’ll have to do now that they’ve started studying for their NEWTs, his mind drifts back to James Potter. He’s like a drug and Regulus swore he’d quit, promised himself he wouldn’t let it get this far. Professor Slughorn once told them that drugs lose their potency as you use them more and more, but James works every bloody time and Regulus can’t make himself stop. Every time he catches the boy’s eye across the corridor, he needs to hear his voice, feel their hands clasped together. Regulus needs to stop, but he knows he won’t.

Deep down, Regulus knows that he’s going to keep going even when his parents bring him before the Dark Lord when he goes home for Christmas. Even when his arm is marked with a sign he knows will turn James’ stomach, Regulus will keep going. He’ll keep going until James hates him and it will all blow up in Regulus’ face. One day, he’ll wish he never met James Potter, but for now he’s going to beg for every second with him.

In the end, they don’t even make it to Christmas.

Early November arrives, bringing with it the Scottish bitter cold and one evening when Regulus is busy attacking James’ neck with his lips, the boy comes up with a truly absurd idea.

‘The boys all have detention tomorrow,’ James says breathily, fingers twirling around Regulus’ curls as he sighs contentedly.

‘Don’t make me think about my brother,’ Regulus frowns, sinking his teeth down on James’ sensitive skin, then quickly soothing it with his tongue.

‘Could use my invisibility cloak, bring you up to the dorm. Do this proper, you know,’ James continues and Regulus officially loses his appetite.

‘You want to fuck me in the room where my brother sleeps?’ Regulus pulls away and raises an eyebrow at James disbelievingly.

‘Uh… yes?’ James grins at him sheepishly and Regulus should really refuse the offer because it’s got ‘danger’ written all over it. Even if he can sneak into the dormitory, what if they come back early? What if someone manages to see them? What if the cloak falls off and everybody knows?

What if Sirius finds out?

‘We shouldn’t,’ Regulus sighs, turning away from James because there’s no way he’ll stand his ground if he catches even a glimpse of those doe eyes he’s so adept at. ‘People could find out,’

‘They won’t! Come on, Reggie, think about it! You and me, big four-poster bed… think about all the things we could do.’ James steps forward, hands creeping around Regulus’ waist, prodding gently.

Regulus doesn’t need to see James to know the look on his face. It’s not one he can say ‘no’ to.

‘One time,’ Regulus insists and immediately feels the smirk on James’ face.

‘One time,’ he agrees.

It is, in fact, not one time. Regulus promises himself he won’t do it again, but then an owl brings him a note as he’s getting changed after taking a brutal thrashing from the Hufflepuff Quidditch team. James’ friends are celebrating in the Hufflepuff common room tonight, Regulus can come over again.

He doesn’t say no. In the end, he stays the night, hidden behind the curtains of James’ bed, secure in the boy’s arms. It’s the safest he’s felt in years and now that he knows how it feels, he’s not sure he’ll ever be able to stop.

Regulus stays the night every Tuesday and every Friday. Sirius always stays late after Gryffindor Quidditch practice on those days to run his own drills and Remus always watches. It’s easy, apparently, to get Peter to stay behind, saying that Sirius could really use a hand or Remus wants the company. James is first back and he lets Regulus in, hidden under the cloak.

As the weeks fly by and nobody finds him huddled next to the Gryffindor Golden Boy, Regulus finds himself lulled into a sense of security, a routine that won’t be broken. And then, Sirius has to have one of his genius ideas.

It happens in the middle of the night, Regulus is sleeping soundly against James’ chest and all of a sudden, there’s a loud crash from the right. James wakes first, jumping so violently that Regulus is shaken out of his sleep as well.

‘I’ve got it!’ Sirius announces proudly to the room, clearly oblivious to how little anyone wants to hear whatever it is he’s got to say at this ungodly hour. It’s still dark out for Merlin’s sake.

‘Not now, Pads!’ Remus groans loudly.

‘Shit,’ James mutters, lifting his head and looking at Regulus with wide eyes. Regulus pushes himself up onto his elbows, frowning.

‘Prongs, I’ve got it! I know what we’re gonna—’ Sirius pulls back the curtains to James’ bed and promptly cuts himself short, jaw falling open and eyes blowing wide.

The two are under the covers, both shirtless (Sirius does not need to know that James isn’t wearing any trousers either) and any idea of bullshitting his way out of this is thoroughly dashed. James sits up slowly, one hand remaining on Regulus’ knee , fingers drumming on the joint nervously.

Regulus stares up at Sirius, eyes locked unwaveringly as all of Regulus’ fears melt away into pure stubbornness. He will not lose this argument, not when James is the best thing that has happened to him in years.

‘What the fuck?’ Sirius deadpans, eyes flicking back and forth between his brother and his best friend, seemingly lacking coherent thought. Regulus continues to stare his brother down.

‘Ever heard of a little something called ‘privacy’, Sirius?’ Regulus asks coldly. There’s a gasp from across the room, no doubt as his voice is recognised by the two boys who can’t see Regulus. James squeezes his knee gently, clearly trying to communicate something, but Regulus isn’t paying enough attention to decipher that.

‘Shittin’ hell, James. You fucked Sirius’ brother?’ Peter is the one to respond when Sirius continues to stare bug-eyed at the two. Regulus opens the curtains on the other side of the bed so he can turn his glare on Peter and the boy shies away.

Remus is getting out of bed now, sliding his feet into his slippers and making his way over to Sirius, a nervous look on his face. Strangely, he doesn’t appear shocked.

‘Sirius,’ he says quietly, reaching out a hand to gently touch the boy’s shoulder. Sirius shakes him off roughly.

‘Don’t,’ he mutters, looking down at James with a look Regulus didn’t think Sirius could ever hold for his best friend. In all of his and James’ antics, he never considered that this could do something to James and Sirius. As long as Regulus has known James, he’s been everything to Sirius, the brother he always wanted to have and at first Regulus resented James for it.

An odd flare of indignation rises up in Regulus' chest and he sits up straighter, putting himself in between James and Sirius. Sirius can be angry at him all he likes, but Regulus won’t stand by and let him look at James like this.

‘You fucked my little brother?’ Sirius says finally, echoing Peter’s words, voice trembling with anger as his fists shake at his sides. Regulus tries to move towards Sirius, but James holds him back before he can pull the duvet away from his lower half.

‘I didn’t ‘fuck’ him,’ James responds firmly, then frowns. ‘I mean, I did, but… that’s not- it’s not… Shit, just hear me out, Pads—’

‘No, don’t fucking ‘Pads’ me, you fucked my kid brother! He’s a kid!’ Sirius shouts angrily.

‘Don’t call him ‘kid’, he’s barely a year younger than us!’ James snaps and Regulus can see the anger forming in his eyes. He shouldn’t be angry at Sirius, that’s his best friend. This wasn’t meant to ruin them.

‘It’s okay, James, he can be mad at me,’ Regulus tries to calm James down, but the boy is springing out of bed and Regulus sees, thankfully, that at some point before they fell asleep he’d pulled some boxers back on.

‘No, it’s not okay, we’re allowed to be together, there’s nothing wrong with us!’ James gestures wildly between the two of them and Regulus absently thinks the uncoordinated movement sums them up perfectly.

‘I never said that, baby, I just—’

‘Don’t call him ‘baby’! What the fuck?’ Sirius is staring incredulously at the two now. ‘Why are you doing this to me? This is- This is- What the fuck?'

That seems to be about all Sirius can manage right now and Remus is, once more, trying to get close to Sirius. It doesn’t work and Remus backs off, staring at the back of his boyfriend’s head worriedly.

‘Nobody is doing anything to you, Sirius,’ Regulus tells him firmly, also leaving the bed in favour of standing next to James, wrapping an arm around his waist. ‘We aren’t doing this to hurt you, we’re doing this because we…’

Regulus trails off there, unsure how to finish his sentence. Sure, he loves James with all his heart and always will no matter how this ends, but he’s never said it outloud before. Not to anyone and certainly not to James and James has never said it either. This isn’t exactly the time for grand announcements or dicey assumptions.

‘You what? Huh, you what? For Merlin’s sake, James, that’s my brother! What is wrong with you?’ Sirius yells at them, face contorting with anger and Regulus is used to that being directed at him, but nobody should look at James like that.

‘Sirius, stop it! Take a breath and listen to them, will you? This is getting ridiculous,’ Remus interjects, appearing to give up listening to Sirius’ clear aversion to his presence right now and pulling his hands down from where they were gesturing angrily at James.

‘No, I won’t listen, Remus. How could you do this, James? You know… you know everything and you still… fuck you, James. Fuck. You.’ Sirius shakes his head, all anger dissipates from his voice as he speaks until he merely sounds defeated. James opens his mouth to say something, but before he can get any words out, Sirius is marching away and out of the door, letting it slam shut behind them.

Regulus flinches as the loud bang echoes around the room and as the silence stretches between them, James pulls Regulus closer. James always knows when Regulus is about to cry and he holds one hand up against the side of Regulus’ face, shielding it from the view of the others. James’ chin rests on top of Regulus’ head which is buried against his neck as Regulus clings to the boy tiredly.

‘It’s okay, sweetheart. You’re okay,’ James whispers soothingly. Regulus feels the words vibrating in his throat.

‘I’ll talk to him in the morning, he’ll come around. He just needs some space,’ Remus says and James nods awkwardly against Regulus’ head. Regulus doesn’t say a word.

‘Let’s get back to sleep, Reggie, nothing to do about it now,’ James murmurs, steering them back into bed and arranging the covers across the both of them.

There’s rustling and shuffling as Remus and Peter no doubt do the same and James leans over to pull the curtains shut again. As he does, Peter’s voice drifts quietly across the dorm, clearly words only meant for Remus’

[biderboy]

To Save You || Jegulus

description- james and regulus say goodbye.

tw - mentions of death, abuse

-

it wasn’t suppose to turn out like this.

beaten, bloody, hands shaking as they reached for each other, for their wands, for something.

there wasn’t suppose to be tears, or screaming. they weren’t suppose to fight, and yet that seems to be all they do these days.

it used to be so nice, james thought bitterly, looking at his own bloody hands, they used to be so good.

he shouldn’t think like that, logically. because he and regulus were okay, right? they were fine.

but regulus was standing in front of him, his black hair had fallen in his eyes, in a way that was still devastatingly beautiful.

his hands, the same hands that would run through james’ hair, that would tug and play with it. the same hands that would run down his neck, gently pulling him in. his hands were shaking as he held his wand high, not daring to let it drop no matter how exhausted he was.

james let his eyes rake over the body of his lover, his lover, and see how truly tired regulus must be. the way he slightly stumbled, how he put too much weight on his left knee, how his breathe stuttered when james finally met his eyes.

those eyes, the same ones that resembled the moon, the same ones that james could stare at for hours because absolutely everything about them pulled him and strung him out. his eyes were dead now though, the same color, the same shape, but hollow in a way james hoped he’d never have to see.

maybe they weren’t okay.

judging by the blood on regulus face, by the new scars that slashed across his right arm, by the pounding in his head that could very well be the people outside the door behind him.

james could remember the first time they were in this room.

it was the summer before 6th year, james had been visiting the black manor for a reason he could not remember. a party perhaps, but for whatever reason, he ended up in this room.

the walls were filled with stars, he came to realize. and those same stars reflected in the eyes he stared at.

regulus black in all his glory, had been hiding from his parents that day. much like they were doing now, and james decided to join him.

regulus had looked quite small, quite scared back then. had a look in his eyes trhat james would do anything to erase.

and so, james ahd sat next to the small boy and talked. he talked about the quidditch games he couldn’t wait to play, he talked about a cat he saw in a random muggle town, he talked and talked.

as he talked, the boy next to him grew more relaxed, the faded look in his face gone, and then he looked at james with a small smile and james thought he’d do anything to make sure that smile never left.

maybe that was the beginning of the end.

but james wouldn’t regret it, not even now.

in that same room, that smile wiped of regulus’ face because of him.

he’d be damned if he let it stay that way, not now, not after everything they’d been through.

the countless sneaking around, hiding behind shadows. covering up smiles. the pretend hatred in public, the soft kisses shared in the dark corners. they tears, the heartbreaks. the care, the constant worry.

after everything, is this really how it would end?

hiding in the room it began, regulus’ mother pouring on the door behind him, shouting curses and hexes james didn’t even know existed, regulus bleeding, regulus with tears falling down his cheeks, his own body begging for him to give up.

it can’t end like this.

“reggie please, we can leave.” he found himself pleading, he’s not even sure of the words coming from his own mouth, he heart racing to find the right thing to say to make him stay.

“no we can’t james, they’re right outside, they’ll find us.” he looked panicking, and james knew he had ever my reason to.

regulus’ mother was ruthless, every scar, every bruise, was caused by her. every breakdown, every time regulus looked at himself like he deserved to feel that way, it was because of her.

james knew that, but he didn’t want to rationalize it. he was scared, he was terrified actually. heart breaking more with the way regulus looked like he was ready to give in.

“james, you have to go.”

“no, i’m not leaving you.”

“GO potter, now.” he left no room for argument, but james was never one to listen.

“why are you doing this reg? we can leave together, we can get you out. let me help.” james whispered, making a move towards him, only for regulus to take a step back, pulling his wand towards james.

“you can’t help me james. they’re ruthless. they’ll always find me, they’ll catch us, they already have, don’t you see?” he gestured to the room, without windows, no floo. the only way out was the door that his mother was waiting behind, a killing curse undoubtedly on her lips.

“love plea-“

“no james! you have to leave without me.” regulus couldn’t meet his eyes, knowing if he did he’d cave, but he couldn’t. this was for james.

“i’d rather die then be without you” he whispered, wand falling.

“then die.”

james froze, brain and heart not wanting to register what regulus had said. because regulus wouldn’t say that, regulus loved him.

regulus’ hands always met his first, regulus’ eyes always trailed over the freckles on his face, regulus’ voice carried through the stars to meet him specifically.

regulus held him with such love, he kissed him with such certainty.

regulus just told him to die.

james knew his wand had fallen to the ground, he knew his heart almsot stopped beating, he knew his hands shook and tears gathered in his eyes.

regulus still wouldn’t meet his eyes, regulus had his wand pointed at him but his hand shook and his knuckles were white.

“look at me.”

regulus didn’t falter.

“look at me regulus.”

he heard an intake of breath, yet that was all. james voice cracked, his heart picking up as if it would race out of his chest and go straight towards the boy infront of him.

“regulus, just tell me why.”

why he was leaving, why he couldn’t come with. why he was listening to his mother’s wishes, why he was joining the dark side, why he was giving up.

“to save you.” and regulus finally met his eyes, and james knew that this was the last time he’d see them.

because regulus voice was so broken, so tired. and his eyes were red, and the light james had gotten so used to seeing, was dull.

and james knew, because in any situation, james would die for regulus. james would give his life, james would fight until he couldn’t, james would breathe his last breath into regulus if it meant that his lover got to see another sunrise.

james knew if he was in regulus’ place, he’s push him away. he’d tell him to run, he’d kiss him one last time and accept the fact that regulus would love, even if that meant he couldn’t.

he wouldn’t think twice, he wouldn’t even regret it.

because if there was anyone in this world that deserved to live, to see the stars, to feel the sand under his feet as he watched the waves say goodbye, it was regulus black.

but james never imagined to be in the situation, or to be in the spot he always figured regulus would be in.

but regulus had a tear falling down his cheek, and james felt his hand reach up to wipe it away.

regulus let himself lean into the touch, let himself have that, atleast.

and james almost broke, james almsot grabbed him and apperated away. but all he did was smile, it was soft and small in all the ways he deserved for regulus.

and he pulled him in softly, letting regulus’ wand finally fall from him hand. and he brushed his nose against his lovers, letting his own eyes close.

he relished in this feeling, regulus being in his arms, regulus being his. he let himself think they were back in the room of requirement, with soft music playing in the background, not a care in the world about the war or about being caught.

he let himself feel. he let his heart and magic reach out and grab and pull, he let himself break again and again.

and then he pressed his lips gently to regulus’ cheek, then his nose, he forehead, his eyelids, and finally, his lips.

the soft brush was filled with desperation, with love, with anger and void.

it was goodbye.

they both knew, they both held on for a moment longer than they should have. they both let themselves have each other for the last time.

but the banging on the door resumed, and james pulled away. regulus took a shaky breath, and picked his wand back up, pointing it at james’ chest.

james smiled.

“going to blast me away darling?” he joked, despite the tears in his eyes, and the way his voice broke.

and regulus let out a small laugh, and james felt his heart swoon and break at the same time. he’d never been more in love with the universe than he was right now, since regulus, to him, was the universe in its purest form.

his eyes made of stardust, his lips of fallen leaves, his hands as soft as water and his tongue burned like fire. everything about him was forged from the universe herself, and james was so completely in love.

and he took a breath, let himself fall away as regulus whispered a spell he wasn’t sure of.

a blue light flooded his vision, and next thing he knew, he was in his own room, regulus no where to be found.

he let himself fall to his knees, finally letting the sobs take over his body.

he stared at his right hand, a small golden ring placed gently in it. he felt his heart turn, desperately looking for its other half.

and yet james knew, his heart wouldn’t be complete again. his right hand would stay cold, the place regulus normally let his head rest on his shoulder would remain untouched.

the universe worked cruelly sometimes.

“to save you, my ass” james muttered, wiping his tears.

“as if i’d be safe without you by my side.”

and it was true, how on earth would james potter exist without his universe by his side?

[halothenthehorns]

All in the Family

Chapter 10: The Midnight Duel

The purple light from a fading sun gave every burnished piece of gold the effect of being on fire. Trophies, awards, medals, and several plaques all kept a highly polished look about them and stuck to their walls to the exact degree they'd been placed on even as a crash erupted and slightly shook the glass casings.

"That's it, new rule!" Sirius growled as he unstuck his face from a glittering cup boasting of some long ago Transfiguration award. "If you get close to the end of the chapter, you have to warn the rest of us!"

"Seconded," James groaned, having landed in the cradle of a statue, and sure he'd have a bruise for it later.

"Err, I'll agree with whoever gets me down," Alice squeaked from atop the tallest case of a life sized trophy of the school's first, and last, troll wrestler, except someone had the brilliant idea to have the prize be the size of the opponent rather than the student. The misting reflection from her breathing on the face of the bronze statue wasn't leading her to the confidence of getting herself down, considering she feared if she moved a finger to grab her wand she'd topple right off.

Frank tried to instantly jump forward and help, but in his haste hadn't taken note he'd landed on a precariously shaped hourglass award and knocked it over as well as himself, creating a domino effect that ended with the one she was on anyways. Thankfully her perch didn't so much as shiver even with the others now leaning against it. Still unbroken, the leaning cases now resembled an odd staircase.

She shrugged, taking this in stride by edging to that side of the lopsided head and now awkwardly shimming herself down each level, testing her weight before trying the next so as not to further upset anything, and finally making it onto level ground and patting Frank on the shoulder as he got to his feet with a blush.

"Well then," James sighed as he got to the floor and pulled the book out of a display of a dozen other books...leading him to ignore the question of who won a book as an award? "Now that that's settled," he only cast one more look around to make sure everyone was present as he started, rolling his eyes at Sirius now checking his reflection to make sure his hair was still evenly parted from his fall.

He had to hold the book just slightly awkwardly from his hand that still didn't enjoy anything being brushed against it, but was instantly pulled in by the chapter title alone. This was easily going to be the most interesting thing Harry would be doing yet, a duel! He found quickly this to be his favorite chapter just from listening to Harry explore their world even more through so much talk of Quidditch.

"That Malfoy," Sirius rolled his eyes and scoffed at him. "As if he even knows what a helicopter is, let alone bragging about getting away from one."

Lily looked at him in complete disbelief, which only doubled when his friends nodded along in agreement. It had been maddening enough listening to Dudley do all that to Harry and their mutters about that, but she really couldn't believe they couldn't see the hypocrites they were being now.

Torn between continuing to ignore their presence, especially in light of the last chapter, and giving them such a piece of her mind they wouldn't have any of their own left, she was grateful when Alice gaped open mouthed at them for a moment before bursting out laughing and turning to Frank, "you ever seen a bigger lot of idiots?"

"Not in all of my years," Frank agreed as he browsed further away from them, pretending to admire some Special Awards to the School given to a student rather than keep staring at such imbeciles.

Sirius spluttered with indignity, Remus and Peter exchanged a look and chose to say nothing, while James rolled his eyes without remorse and kept going, he wasn't going to defend himself to two people he'd never really spoken to, instead he just gave an anxious look at Evans and didn't want to linger on the subject.

It didn't help that the more Malfoy continued to antagonize Neville, the more filthy looks she shot him, as if picturing his messy black hair instead of the sleek blond. When the Remembrall was stolen for a second time and all Malfoy did was laugh as the poor kid was taken away for a broken wrist, James couldn't help but snap at her scoff of disgust, green eyes still lingering on him, and not because he'd been the one to say it.

"Honestly Evans, you really think so low of me? I've never nicked someone else's stuff, certainly not laughed when they were injured!"

"No, but you certainly cause plenty of the injuries," she refused to give in.

"This could go on for a while," Sirius sighed as he wandered over next to Remus, who'd gone over to look at some Defense Against the Dark Arts awards.

Remus agreed noncommittally, he was watching Alice Smith and Frank Longbottom. They were holding hands and whispering to each other, and he found it sweet how clearly worried they were for a kid sharing Frank's last name, whereas James and Evans were bickering loudly over Harry surely about to do the same thing as he mounted his own broom for the first time in chase of a much better flyer.

Peter was watching the bickering pair eagerly, looking at any second about to jump in and save James, though as he'd never actually stepped in between any of their fights neither of them were sure why he kept bothering.

That was all the looking Sirius did before he leaned in to Remus and muttered, "bored yet?"

Remus gave him a sideways look, glanced around at the spacious room that had a few darker alcoves, and shrugged before walking as if checking to see that both doors to this room were locked as well. Obviously he didn't want to go right past the two sparring, so he should check the one around the corner first.

Sirius followed with a curious smirk in place, only a step behind as he turned the same corner, but still wasn't expecting to be seized and pinned to the wall. Remus was still being gentle, holding his shoulders as their lips met, as if still politely asking if this was okay to be doing while not exactly waiting for permission to do it while keeping Sirius pinned. Sirius was having none of that.

The rush from this seized him, he pulled him in tighter, pressing their lips heavily together and only remembering to breathe through his nose when he had to at the slight catch of his breath. He'd already had his fun testing the waters of just kissing with another, and he wanted this to go further like he had before. Now that his first male companion would be leaving at the end of the year, he was going to enjoy this new company, and was still easily pushing aside who exactly he was doing this to lest things get awkward.

A groan he at least tried to muffle escaped him as Remus seemed to instantly understand like always, his hands sliding down tantalizingly slow towards his hips, when he realized what he'd forgotten at the same time he interrupted.

"Unless you two are planning on snogging over there, do you mind if we keep going before time actually ends us."

"I forgot about Regulus," Sirius hissed, pulling away at once and watching the corner with a leer as if expecting him to come bursting around and spot exactly what he'd just said. He in fact hadn't taken note of where his brother had been this whole time, he could have been in this very spot and they likely wouldn't have noticed!

"You tend to do that a lot," Remus said in an honestly conversational tone of voice, releasing him at once and stepping away as if to actually inspect how many trophies a school could hold for the largest Shrivelfig bush.

Sirius hadn't been expecting that, and his first instinct was to reach out and pull him back in arm's length, or even keep going just to prove that they could, there was no reason to stop, when Prongs came around the corner instead with Peter, the first still looking ruffled despite how much he was trying not to.

"Can you believe her?" James muttered, loud enough the whole place could likely still hear anyways. "A bully, honestly, why doesn't she ever go after Snape as often as he curses me! He started it. What's Regulus doing anyways, never seen him bother to say anything before this even while he's been hanging around Snivellus more than she has lately."

"Can't imagine the idea of being interrupted like that," Sirius huffed while crossing his arms.

James seemed to miss the sarcasm.

Peter gave Prongs a reassuring clap on the shoulder, still looking inexplicably pleased by all of this like he'd just seen a great show. "It's alright James, she'll come around."

James gave him a sideways look, like he was trying to detect mocking in that, while Remus finally looked at them and said, "ever tried using some reverse psychology on her?"

"I told you Remus, you can only take two electives, and why would you want to take more anyways-"

"No you idiot," Remus cut off with an eye roll, "I mean, if you don't want her to think you a bully, than try to stop cursing her friend for a bit."

James just looked at him before looking to the other two, "you ever wonder if Moony invented his own language without sharing it with us?"

"All the time," Sirius agreed.

James kept going then just to ignore Remus rolling his eyes at them again.

His excitement grew heavily almost at once, easily blowing off the still foul grumblings he could hear from the redhead at reading of Harry with such a natural on a broom! He was twirling through the air with ease, without a trace of fear, and then he actually caught that little glass ball without a scratch on him! Even McGonagall's arrival couldn't dampen his suddenly good mood, one little detention no matter what the kids fear was trying to tell him otherwise wasn't going to ruin his pride at hearing his Quidditch abilities being passed on!

Somehow the moment got better the longer it kept going!

"I think he actually stopped breathing again," Peter said conversationally as James didn't quite seem able to spit out the reason of why Wood was in the room.

"Probably shouldn't have been letting him get so excited, what with recently being electrocuted and all," Remus agreed with a touch of concern.

"Alright Prongs?" Sirius asked cheerfully, finally heaving himself off the wall with one last look at Remus before going to his best friend and patting him forcefully on the back. "I'm happy for Harry to, he'll be a shoo in for Quidditch in his next year-" he froze though as he glanced down at the words James couldn't get past his lips but Sirius then shouted at the top of his lungs.

Evans actually face palmed at the news of Harry being made Seeker. All four Marauders were over there laughing, applauding each other, and generally pleased beyond all measure for such an accomplishment. Even Alice and Frank looked politely startled at such a feat. Regulus just huffed and sank even lower next to the roster of all past Quidditch players and the various trophies earned over the course of the school. Of course no one was going to mention that he'd made the team in his second year. Obviously his older brother had done nothing more than look on at him in surprise when he'd seen him in the last few games as if he'd forgotten his only brother's existence except when they were playing. He'd show him though, when they got out of this crappy time, whatever was going on here, and played their Quidditch finals that weekend.

The din was deafening from the four and Regulus was honestly tempted to get up all over again and shove that book up Potter's arse if he didn't keep going. Thankfully his image needn't be used, this time, when he kept going at shouting levels all the way up to and past Harry getting into a midnight duel, and only ended with that little Hermione girl getting in the way of their merriment.

"What a little shit, threatening to tell a Prefect on them," James said, that smile finally slipping from him at such a turncoat move.

"She's as bad as Snivellus, more so than Malfoy," Sirius agreed, his nose turned up in disgust.

"Nosy little bugger, hope Harry or Ron shake her off before they get there," Peter nodded along.

They were all sure Lupin agreed as well, though his quiet mutter didn't carry as far like Potter did when he kept going.

Alice and Frank got a moment to smile again when they heard Neville was alright, and had inherited his father's memory problems, and they were all listening unabashedly to the duel about to come when the four kids got there, which meant they all said something quite unique to the little pint not even showing up.

"What a little shit."

James nearly fell over he turned so hard to get his head back around the corner to see Evans looking in his direction, arms crossed, and face still just as red from their fight, though clearly she was putting that aside for now to curse while saying, "never heard such a cowardice move, the least he could have done after starting the fight was finished it!"

Regulus frowned at her though, interrupting whatever fool hearted comment Potter was fixing to agree with. "I found it rather clever actually, why get yourself in trouble when you can just as easily setup your enemy?"

"I can see the merits of both sides," Frank agreed, "the underhanded tactic while he's just saving his own skin from really having to face the fight."

"It's purely ridiculous is what it is," Alice scoffed as she looked at her boyfriend. "There was no winning side in any of this and I'm honestly surprised it went this far instead of all the kids backing down."

"You lot have never been in a real fight have you?" James said aghast at all of this.

"And you've been in too many," Evans snapped testily, causing him to back down and go right back to Harry's problem.

It was a bit entertaining honestly, watching the kids panic and treating getting away from Filch like such a harrowing journey, but the amusement died instantly when the three headed dog entered the picture. Then no one was smiling, minds honestly frozen from shock of hearing of such a monster in their school and if it was really going to get away with eating a bunch of first years!

No one spoke, the rooms shadows feeling more vast than ever and the echo of a massive dog barking in all of their minds until James finally declared all four kids safe no matter what they tried to discuss afterwards.

"That was unbelievable," Peter was the first to find his voice, his light brown eyes still a little wider than normal. "Absolutely ghastly! Whose ruddy idea was it to have that thing in the castle!"

"Du-Dumbl-" Remus stuttered as if a child trying to speak the name for the first time.

"He wouldn't," James said at once. "The Forest he can't really control what comes in and out of there, but he'd never have that thing where so many students could so easily get to it."

"Well this certainly wasn't all Hagrid's doing," Sirius disagreed.

Remus flinched and no one really had much more of an argument, but the mystery still lingered like nothing they'd ever experienced in school. Just what was going on around there?

"Well here's my warning," James sighed as he read the final lines of this chapter.