#same smile; landos more heart shaped

[416piastri]

33 days of no landoscar

[xo100]

Baking cookies pt. 3- LN4

*:･ﾟ Summary: Lando and Y/N confess their feelings, agreeing to take things slow, while Nina continues to brighten their lives.

*:･ﾟ Word count: 1237

masterlist / community / request / previous ౨ৎ next

౨ৎ

The next morning felt different. Not in a drastic, world-shifting way, but in the small, quiet way things change when you finally admit how you feel about someone who’s been in your life for so long. The sun filtered through the curtains in Lando’s living room, casting soft shadows on the walls, and Y/N sat at the kitchen table, absentmindedly scrolling through her phone. She wasn’t thinking about the articles in front of her, though. Her mind was on Lando—and the kiss they shared the night before.

She could still feel the warmth of his lips, the gentle way his hand had cradled hers. The memory made her heart skip a beat, and she couldn’t help but smile.

“Morning, sleepyhead.”

Y/N’s head snapped up at the sound of Lando’s voice. He was standing in the doorway, leaning casually against the frame, his hair still messy from sleep. He looked comfortable in a worn T-shirt and sweats, a soft grin tugging at the corners of his lips.

“Morning,” she replied, her cheeks flushing slightly at the memory of last night.

Lando pushed himself off the doorframe and walked over to her, dropping into the chair across the table. He rested his elbows on the table, leaning forward with that same playful glint in his eyes that Y/N had seen countless times—but now, it felt different. There was something deeper behind it.

“How’d you sleep?” he asked, his voice soft.

“Good,” Y/N answered, smiling. “You?”

“Best I’ve slept in a while,” Lando replied, his gaze locked on hers.

For a moment, they just stared at each other, the weight of their newfound connection hanging in the air. It was comfortable, but there was a spark between them, something quietly electric that hadn’t been there before.

But before they could say anything more, the familiar sound of little feet running down the stairs interrupted them.

“Daddy! Auntie Y/N!” Nina’s voice called out as she bounced into the kitchen, her curly hair wild and her face full of excitement. “I’m hungry!”

Y/N and Lando exchanged a quick glance before they both burst into laughter. The moment was broken, but in the best way—Nina always had that effect.

“What’s on the menu today, munchkin?” Lando asked, ruffling Nina’s hair as she climbed onto Y/N’s lap.

“Pancakes!” Nina declared with a big grin.

Y/N smiled, hugging Nina tightly. “Pancakes, huh? I think we can make that happen.”

“Yay!” Nina clapped her hands excitedly, bouncing on Y/N’s lap.

Lando got up from his chair, heading toward the fridge. “Alright, team pancake, let’s get to work.”

As Lando started gathering ingredients, Y/N helped Nina down from her lap, and together, they got to work in the kitchen. It was something they had done countless times before, but this time felt different. Everything did.

The three of them moved around the kitchen with ease, like a well-practiced routine. Nina poured the flour, Y/N mixed the batter, and Lando flipped the pancakes, tossing in an extra bit of flair for Nina, who giggled with every flip.

At one point, Lando leaned over to Y/N, his voice low and teasing. “You know, I think you’re rubbing off on me.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow, laughing softly. “Oh yeah? How so?”

“Well,” Lando said, holding up a pancake with a lopsided heart shape in the middle, “I’m starting to get pretty good at these.”

Y/N shook her head with a smile, nudging him playfully. “Sure you are.”

They shared another quiet moment of laughter, but this time, there was an undeniable tenderness in it. Lando’s hand brushed against Y/N’s as he passed her a plate, and she felt that same warmth flood her chest. The feeling that this was right, that they were right.

-

Once breakfast was done, the three of them sat at the table together, with Nina happily munching on her pancakes while talking animatedly about her day ahead. Lando and Y/N exchanged glances across the table, both of them silently reveling in the ease of this moment. It was just the three of them, but it felt like more.

After breakfast, Lando cleared the table while Y/N helped Nina get ready for the day. As they moved through their morning routine, the unspoken understanding between Lando and Y/N grew. They didn’t need to say anything just yet—there was comfort in the way they worked together, the natural way they fit into each other’s lives.

Once Nina was dressed and ready to play in the garden, Y/N found herself back in the living room, straightening up a few toys Nina had left scattered around. Lando appeared beside her, leaning against the couch as he watched her for a moment, his expression thoughtful.

“Y/N…” His voice was softer now, more serious.

She turned to face him, her heart beating a little faster. “Yeah?”

Lando stepped closer, his hand reaching out to gently take hers. “I’ve been thinking about us. About what this means.”

Y/N squeezed his hand, her eyes searching his. “Me too.”

���I know we haven’t really talked about it yet, but I want to make sure we’re on the same page,” Lando said, his thumb brushing over her knuckles. “Because this? This feels like more than just a moment.”

Y/N nodded, her heart swelling at his words. “It is more. It’s everything.”

Lando’s smile was soft but filled with so much emotion that it made Y/N’s chest ache. “I don’t want to rush anything, but… I want this. I want us.”

Y/N took a step closer, her free hand reaching up to rest against his chest. “I want that too, Lando. I want us to figure this out together.”

His hand came up to cup her cheek, his eyes searching hers for any sign of doubt. But there wasn’t any. Y/N was sure of this, sure of them.

“You know, Nina adores you,” Lando said quietly, his voice filled with emotion. “She’s always asking when you’ll come over. And seeing the two of you together… It makes me realize how lucky I am.”

Y/N’s heart melted at his words. She had always loved Nina as if she were her own, and hearing Lando say those things only deepened her feelings for him. “I adore her too, Lando. And I… I adore you.”

His eyes softened, and before Y/N could say anything more, Lando leaned in and kissed her. It was soft and sweet, but this time there was more behind it. The promise of something new, something real.

When they finally pulled away, Y/N rested her forehead against his, their breaths mingling in the quiet space between them. “We’ll take it slow,” she whispered. “For Nina. For us.”

Lando nodded, his smile widening. “Yeah, slow sounds perfect.”

Just as they were about to kiss again, a loud crash echoed from the garden, followed by Nina’s triumphant shout. “I did it!”

Y/N and Lando both burst into laughter, stepping apart as they looked out the window to see Nina standing proudly next to a stack of garden toys she had knocked over.

“We’d better go check on our little troublemaker,” Lando said with a grin, taking Y/N’s hand as they headed outside together.

As they walked into the garden, hand in hand, Y/N couldn’t help but feel like this was the start of something beautiful. A new chapter for all three of them.

And it was exactly where she wanted to be.

౨ৎ

*:･ﾟ Notes; thank you for reading, love’s! Hope you all enjoyed it! If there is something wrong or need to be edited, let me know! Also I’ve started a community feel free to join! Currently working on part 4! If you want to be tagged leave it in the comments!

Also currently heartbroken by Daniel leaving f1💔

*:･ﾟtags; @barcelonaloverf1life @fanficweasley @obxstiles @missnxthingg @trisharee @myescapefromthislife

[jo-com]

‧₊ ᵎᵎ 🍒 ⋅ ˚ ➛ A way to a dog lover’s heart

Lando Norris x Fem!reader

Summary: Despite his personal problem with dogs; Lando took it upon himself to study more about dogs and how to win their favor so that he can win yours.

Genre: Fluff, wholesome moments, Dog lover reader (Let’s pretend that Lando dislikes dogs)

Note: there are some grammatical errors and that this is not proofread, hope you enjoy tho!

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ➛ My Masterlist

─────── ─ ⋆🍨｡𖦹 °✩ ─ ───────

Ever since his childhood days, Lando had some personal issues with dogs— it was an unpleasant memory that he wishes to forget. For him it was a gruesome event that marked his fear of dogs forever. It made him scared to the point that being approached by them make his instincts act up and run away.

The so called ‘gruesome event’ he was talking about was, Lando getting bit in the ass by a small dog. So terrifying.

People find it funny, hilarious even, but for him it was an “Traumatic experience.” Well so he says.

He vowed to never touch an inch of them, but upon finding out that you were a dog enthusiast— even his fear of dog won’t get in the way of winning your heart.

…

“I am so happy that you also like dogs, it’s hard to meet people that are inlove with them, like i am”

Lando let out a lengthy cough, “yeah uhm i love dogs so much its crazy.”

Your face lit up at his words, feeling your heart content with the same love you guys shared for dogs. Never have you ever met someone like him, he is so different.

“Sooo, would you like to visit me sometimes? I’d love for you to meet my babies.”

Lando licked and puckered his lips, releasing it with a pop— his demeanor shifted into a uncertain one. You could sense hesitancy from the way he moved.

You then picked up on his action and your once smiling lips were now pulling into a frown. Does he not want to meet them? Or does he not want to be bothered by going?

His eyes flickered back to your almost pouting face. The look in your eyes clearly screams, ‘slowly loosing interest’, he became wary of your expression and quickly lightened the mood by blurting out his response.

“YES, I would love to meet them” he slightly yelled, his voice even cracking a little.

You giggled at his anxious face, “sure, it’s another date then.”

Lando sighed contentedly, seeing your face warm up to him once again. His pupils dilated into a heart shaped as he stared more at your breathtaking appearance— if that’s even possible? Nonetheless lando was both stoked and afraid at the same time. But it’ll all be worth it when he makes you his.

…

Lando’s heart skipped a beat as he contemplated whether or not to ring your doorbell; he has been standing there for like 30 minutes now and was so scared at the thought of being pounced by your hell hound. Only staring at your front door and doing nothing.

“Lando? What are you doing just standing there?” You asked, your eyes narrowed at his standing figure.

With your sudden voice, he was quick to go back to his senses and compose himself in front of you.

“Oh uhm… you see.. ah i was just taking in this beautiful house of yours.” Lando answered, showing some of his teeth with an awkward smile.

You looked at him skeptically but soon shrugged it off and gestured for him to come inside, to which he happily obliged.

His chest began to shake once again, waiting for your dog to come at him and do the same thing the dog from his childhood had done.

He stiffly walked towards your living room. Taking in the interior and design that you’ve come to a liking. Mentally noting the things you’d love and prefer.

He was then interrupted when he saw the biggest golden retriever that he had ever seen run across the other room to where Lando was now currently standing. His eyes widened at it’s sudden appearance— his whole body shaking in fear at it’s sight.

Once you saw your dog, you were quick to run towards her and ruffle it’s fur; feeling her tender fur rub against your palms, “Hi my baby, did you miss me? God you’re so adorable like always, yes you are” you spoke in a childish manner while kissing her nuzzle.

Lando stood awkwardly at the side. He gulp down the saliva that was forming inside his mouth. He didn’t know what to do at this point, he was scared shitless at your dog.

You stopped what you were doing and momentarily glared back at lando, “come meet my baby, isn’t she so cute?”

He bit down his lower lip— sighing heavily to muster up his strength and atleast show that he’s interested. Even if it was forced.

Lando then lowered himself and took a knee by your side. He was now face to face with the so called beast and was clearly rethinking the whole situation he’s in.

“Come on now, pet her she doesn’t bite, trust me.”

He nodded slightly, “yeah..she’s just a little ball of…cuteness?” With shaking hands, he finally laid his hand in her head— stroking them stiffly as his fear still resides in his mind.

His heart pounded inside his chest when your dog swiftly licked his hand. “Ohh i think she likes you.”

The sweat that formed in his forehead were now crashing down his face— what has he gotten himself into?

…

“I am not ready tho, will it be okay for you to wait?” You asked, your tone laced with sweetness.

Lando nodded his head, “Yeah, it’s okay. I mean i can walk your dog while you finish up.”

Your whole demeanor lit up as he uttered those words— feeling a sense of closeness forming around you two. You were speechless at his suggestion; not one single guy you’ve ever dated asked you that. Ever!

Meanwhile..

On the outside Lando looked cool as hell when he said that but on the inside well… he was shaking in fear, he didn’t even know why he said that. Why would he? When he’s scared of them. Even touching them triggers his anxiety. But if it’s for you..

“Yeah sure, if it’s alright with you to spend time with her?”

He shrugged, “what do you mean? I love dogs!”

…

“I FUCKING HATE DOGS” Lando screamed— his whole body shaking and numb from running.

You see, when lando took her out it was all going great…. not until two dogs showed up and started chasing them.

His breathing became uneven while the two dogs kept following them and barking out loud, not louder than Lando’s screaming voice though.

Even the whole neighborhood could hear him and looking at him with pure judgment. Whispering amongst themselves and enjoying the free entertainment that lando had put out.

…

“So how was the run?”

“Uh it was amazing, she was…great, nothing happened at all it was so peaceful” Lando spoke, his voice trembled from being out of breath earlier.

You then grabbed her leash and escorted the two inside— taking it off her sooner as she stepped in your floorboards.

A smile formed in your lips, seeing your dog run with glee and then back at The driver in front of you, “thank you, really. I hope she wasn’t a bother.”

Lando stared blankly at you, his mind wandering at the events that happened earlier. “Like i said, she was amazing, i hope to do it again next time!.”

Like hell he will.

…

I am back y’all😜

[bunny-jpeg]

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა casual brattiness - lando n.໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

brat taming was a specialty for lando norris. he loved a good brat to collar and tame. he'd akin it to a bull rider, stay on for the entire ride no matter how much the his lovely doll of the month bucked against. they could show proverbial teeth and claws, and lando would simply have to bind and gag them. they always looked so pretty after a few orgasms.

he licked his lips when he first met you. you were beyond perfect. you had curves that drove him crazy, not to mention all the other parts of you. the shape of your nose to the colour of your eyes, the kind of colour that lando got lost in. lando norris never considered himself a possessive man. until he got his large hands around your pretty throat. it wasn't hard to seduce you into his bed, while it started casual, lando felt the claw of something more drag across his soul. you were a brat in bed, clawing at his back. you'd kick out your legs and your favourite word was 'no'. you'd pull on his hair and get in his face. "prick!" "dickhead!" "fuck you!" only riled up lando more, it only made his cock heavy and leaky at the tip. he bullied it into you though with little remorse, the safeword was never used. lando liked to gag you, but not with a proper gag. usually your panties or at worst his socks. he often bound your arms with his belt and kept your pushed down on the bed.

he manhandled you with ease. he bruised your hips, neck, breasts and any other area of skin he could get his hands or lips on. he watched you struggle against him, your pretty nails on his skin. he loved when he got to talk down to you, when he made you whimper and moan. his favourite was marking you, he loved to mark you soft skin. he one time wrote his initials on your thigh in sharpie and made you take a photo of it every day before it eventually faded. a darker part of lando's mind wanted something more permanent, and somewhere where others would see it. he felt crazy for you as he "tamed" you, the little brat had slowly become so perfect under his touch.

"lando." you said his name like prayer and it because a thought seared into the driver's mind.

he had convinced himself over a few months that this wasn't casual. you loved him. he searched for you across the paddock, even went as far as to get your flowers. you smiled when you held them close to you gently. lando would buy you flowers every day if it meant that you'd smile like that. even without the sex, lando yearned for your touch. and he yearned to touch you. hand on the lower back, pushing hair out of your eyes. casual was was a lie.

lando soon believed that his heart only beat because of you. and eventually yours did the same because of him.

however, the glass in lando's world shattered when he saw you get ready for a date. you were fixing up your make-up while gazing into a compact mirror. you were out of your mclaren uniform, in something form fitting that it made lando's brain short circuit. when he asked where you were going, you said, "oh i have a date!" and lando realized that this wasn't serious to you. as much as lando liked breaking brats, you liked breaking men. they got their sexual kicks, but you held lando's leash. and now you were going on a date? lando felt an unfamiliar feeling in his body, instead of making a scene. he simply smiled and told you to have a good time.

when you walked away, his mind went to work. there was no time to sulk or lick his wounds, he had to be proactive. he was a bit angry, how could you do this to him? you betrayed him. hurt his feelings! you should know better, plus no other man could be as good as lando norris. they couldn't make you cum the way he did or the way he made you smile! you were being stupid, little bird. lando knew couldn't let the pretty bird that had invaded his mind get away. it would be easier to clip your wings, keep you close to the ground where he was. and while ideas filled his mind while he jerked off his cock in his hotel room that night. lose your job, have your visa rejected, find a loophole so you'd have to marry him. anything to keep you with him. however, it all involved heavy paperwork and too many lawyers. there was a simple solution to his problem.

and that was to get you pregnant <3

[norrisreads]

you belong with me

plot : having oscar piastri as a neighbour and best friend was great, supporting him from the sidelines, everything was fine even when the feelings was just one sided…. or so was it?

pairing : oscar piastri x reader! lando norris x reader! platonic

warnings: slight angst, fluff! mainly inspired by you belong with me by taylor swift

growing up with oscar piastri as your neighbour had been a core memory, you would remember communicating with him through windows, yes windows.

the first time you moved in to his neighbourhood, you were just a girl who had moved from singapore to australia and had zero friends, you had to restart your whole life in another country

of course, your parents had opted to let you settle down for a few weeks before starting school, which led most of your days spying on your neighbour’s family and just casual people watching

the piastri family, just a normal family who had 3 little sisters and him, oscar piastri being the eldest in the family. you would notice him arriving home with his mum by his side in his karting suit, enraged sometimes, happy too.

it was a sight to see, your dad had allocated your study table right in front of your window and what a coincidence it was that just in-front of you was his room.

It was a shock of course to him when he noticed you flipping through your books (or so he thought), and the moment you had your head up to do some stretchings , the both of you had a few seconds eye contact and smiled.

you didn’t pay much attention because as much as your heart was jumping around, it was a tad bit awkward, but you notice a motion that he was scribbling on something, and a few minutes later a sketchbook was seen holding up by him

“just moved in?”

you nodded your head, you looked around and grab some empty pieces of paper and a black marker

he then wrote a few more sentences, “i’m oscar, what about you?”

“y/n, just moved here from singapore!” with that information he absorbed , he made an ‘o’- shaped mouth, and went back to scribbling a few more sentences

“any plans right now?” of course, you shook your head

“do you wanna grab dinner?” was written on oscar’s sketchbook, he then held up an ‘OK’ hand motion along with a thumbs up and thumbs down which then u gave him a thumbs up

and from that day on, you made your first friend who then became your best friend who then became your first love.

“let’s just go to at least one race, y/n! you’ve been there for me since formula 3, won’t seeing me race in formula 1 in real life make you happy?” his voice speak through your phone that was placed on your bed

you were currently cleaning up your room while being on-call with oscar, even-though the both of you were neighbours and he could technically come over and talk to you physically in your room, he was sadly grounded.

so there he was, sitting on the ledge of his window, being on call with you at the same time just watching you moving around your room.

“osc you’ll be traveling across the world, my dad’s gonna kill me if i’m skipping school, lily’s gonna be with you”

Lily zheimer is Oscar’s girlfriend, you had found out when Oscar had asked for your guidance to assist him in his prom-posals which you did so (stupidly), you had been there for Oscar when the both of them had fights, of course you were the one consoling him even-though you could hear bit by bit pieces of your heart breaking apart.

“it’ll be great if you will be there too, you’re my best friend after all” and yet again, just a best friend

dreaming about the day when you wake up and find that

you’re looking for has been here the whole time

“lily’s gonna be fuming if i’m there, you know the both of us don’t get along, let’s not do that Osc”

as much as you were kind to lily, she had been against of Oscar’s friendship with you since day one, oscar would missed out on the days where the both of you had planned to hang out and every-time you smiled to lily it wasn’t reciprocated back instead she would give you an eye roll.

you never understood why lily hated you, or disliked? you gave space to oscar whenever he’s out with lily and you’re not that type of girl best-friend who’s all up in Oscar’s business. Oscar had assured you multiple times that lily would get over it (which she didn’t and it’s been years).

lily zheimer was the stereotypical popular girl in your school, meanwhile you were just an average student who had few friends because to be fair you’d rather have an average life rather than being popular.

except she wasn’t the typical popular girl who’s a cheerleader, she was the smartest in your school, you did admire her, she’s a beauty with brain. were you ever jealous of her beauty? of course, but what you were jealous the most was the way oscar looked at her.

The way Oscar looked at her was as if he could see his whole future planned out with her, and THAT was the way you looked at Oscar, and this is of course a typical best-friend unrequited love.

“my parents will be following y/n, you can tag along with them, just one race please” you stopped in your tracks and looked up at him, he was literally pleading with his hands together begging you

“fine, i’ll go to one race osc”

you could hear oscar shouted “YES” and a moment later you heard your phone notification went off and it was Oscar’s mum

“so glad that you’re coming along, y/n! girl’s day for us 🥰” to which you laughed and let oscar know

“your mum just texted me osc, that was fast”

“yeah she loves you y/n, i have enough sisters already but she already is claiming you to be her daughter. At this point even my sisters prefers your existence more than me” to which he flipped you off and rolled his eyes jokingly

“fuck you osc, i’ll take back whatever i said about attending” and there it was the beeping of an ending call

and the next moment you heard him shout across the window, “don’t even think about it, I’m grounded right now, I’ll literally stormed to your front door in 2 days if you decides to back out” and closed his windows

it’s the day of the australian grand prix, you were granted the 3 days paddock pass by mclaren as oscar’s guests.

osc and lily had of course arrived the paddock together, meanwhile you arrived with oscar parents.

few fans had recognised you as oscar’s best friend, and you being nice had small talks with them, it was the first time you could see the amount of fans oscar had and you felt so proud of him, of the journey you had seen him grew up with.

you were just walking around the paddock, this wasn’t the first time you were in the paddock but it was the first time you were in a formula one grand prix.

you spotted oscar’s team mate lando norris scooting around the paddock and remembered the first time oscar told you about him. He was exactly how oscar described him.

curls, a smiley person, and of course sarcastic.

you noticed lando was heading towards your direction and stopped exactly infront of you, “you must be oscar’s girlfriend right?”

you had a confused face on and laughed, “no that’s lily, i’m his best friend”

“oh, my bad. I’m sure you know about me from oscar?” he held his hands out, and you shook his hands

“yeah, lando right? i’m y/n”

“are you searching for him?” Lando asked you noticing you were walking around the paddock without him

you shook your head “i’m just familiarising myself, was a-bit bored. Oscar’s a-bit busy right now”

“well then i’ll be your guide for the day, y/n” this time lando walked the same pace as you, completely abandoning his scooter by the side of the hospitality.

By the end of the day, you were well contented with Lando’s presence with you, he had introduced you to a few of his friends and some of the grid drivers. Oscar had warned you about lando’s past, stereotypically his flirty personality.

You had seen his flirty traits but you couldn’t care less, instead lando seems like a long-lost friend you’ve never met.

“thanks lando for giving me a great tour of the paddock, i shall do the same to you whenever you’re in singapore! i know some great places that you’d take pictures with your leica!” the both of you were sat in the hospitality with an ice cream in both of your hands.

“well that’s a promise then, oscar’s probably done right now, i guess it’s my turn, i’ll see you around?”

you smiled and nodded your head, “i’ll be around, can’t get rid of me that easily”

landonorris started following you

lafilledhiver_ just posted

liked by landonorris oscarpiastri maxfewtrell and others

lafilledhiver_ my week in pictures + aus gp 🧡

oscarpiastri shouldn’t it be my garage instead

↳ lafilledhiver_ you’ve been replaced 🫱🏻‍🫲🏼

↳ landonorris she’s my best friend now piastri

oscpi81 why did i not know y/n went to aus grand prix 😭

↳ lnaurris if udm answering who is she?

↳ oscpi81 she’s oscar’s best-friend! she used to attend f2 races q frequently!

papayaboys does she not follow lily?

↳ russell44 maybe there’s beef 😐

↳ pastry81 she’s not required to follow her bestie’s gf ig 😂

mclaren our favourite guest is back

liked by lafilledhiver_

“you’re getting cozy with lando, y/n” lily’s voice caught your attention

“he’s a great friend, plus he takes great care of osc” answering to her remarks and getting back your attention to your phone

“i wouldn’t do that if i were you, would not want to tame osc reputation or image” lily shrugged her shoulder

you sighed, you knew when oscar left you with lily, this conversation is bound to happen

“lily, i don’t have an idea on why you’re so against of osc and i’s friendship, you’re the one who has osc head over heels for you. if I were you, I would have just choose to mind my own business, but clearly you can’t seem to do that?”

packing your things up, within the timespan u were packing oscar came to the both of you

“hey i was about to ask, let’s grab dinner together” until he saw you packing ur items in a rushed state

“sorry oscar, another day, i’m not really feeling well” giving him a soft smile and hugging him, bidding him a goodbye

it’s true, you’ve been coughing the whole day and your body has been feeling rather heaty

oscar sighed and faced lily, “what did you say to her this time?”

while walking your way to the hotel, your phone ringed multiple times, and with the distinguished ringtone you knew it was oscar

“finally you’ve answered, lily told me what happened! Look i am sorry alright, i’ve already told lily to be mindful of her words, now can you please follow us to dinner? mom wants you there”

stopping in your tracks, you can’t help but to feel that oscar had never once considered about how you felt about the situation between him and lily

“osc, i’m tired. Have you ever considered talking to me about how i felt about this too? Let me have a break tonight, I’m unwell”

Oscar could been heard walking himself out of the noisy room he was in, and sighed , “i’m coming in few minutes, we’ll talk this out”

“oscar that’s not what i meant” with that he ended the call

you’re pacing around your room, mind clouding with all the possible outcome and the fallout between you and oscar.

the both of you were inseparable since young and to think that a situation like this would actually be a reason of a fallout, aches you.

then you heard a knock, specifically four knocks. Four knocks was oscar way of telling you he’s here whenever he’s over at your house.

you walked towards the door half expecting lily and him at the door, amazed that it was just him this time.

he welcomed himself in and sat on the hotel sofa that was provided in your room, “we’re gonna solve this today, no one is leaving”

this is gonna be a long day.

sighing, you made your way to the empty spot next to him

“there’s nothing to talk about oscar, i was just feeling unwell to attend the dinner. nothing serious, see?” shoving him your proof of the thermometer that you’d just used a few minutes ago

“i’m sorry about lily, i know she doesn’t like you but i’m fixing this okay y/n. I really do want the both of you to get along well!”

sometimes, fixing is never a solution, especially when it comes to these scenarios

“Oscar, don’t waste your time fixing this. she’ll never like me, you’ll have to understand that”

oscar seems confuse with the sentence that had came out of your mouth, “ what do you mean, never.. y/n?”

“oscar, i like you. I’ve been liking you ever-since I’ve gotten to know you. You’re not required to like me back, so don’t bother, but i know lily knows this, that’s probably why she’s protective of you oscar”

the information that was said out by you made oscar shocked and still. This was how he had always reacted to news, be it great or bad news.

“i was probably crazy when i agreed on helping you with your promposal to lily, but you were happy osc. The other times you were so happy was when you won during your races, and i would do anything to just see you, my best friend be happy. I was dumb, i probably thought it was going to get away, i mean that’s what y/bff/n says. Just a small crush, but it’s been years and it’s still the same.”

this time you had to pause whatever you’re saying because you felt tears brimming in the corner of your eyes.

can’t you see that i’m the one who understands you

been here all along, so why can’t you see?

“you made me happy oscar, and i’m happy we’ve met. Things will be awkward afterwards but i’m always here, osc. Lily’s great, she makes you feel happy, and i like that for her. She makes you feel like there is something to actually look forward to every single day, and i wish i had that in me.”

Oscar shifted his sit towards you, and glanced at you, “ i have no idea, y/n..”

well yeah, no shit. he was crazy for lily, of course he had no idea.

“that’s fine osc-“ before completing your sentence, oscar had cut you off

“ i liked you, i did, but when lily came it made me feel different. I never knew you liked me, y/n. This could be us, y/n. I don’t know what to say, i treasure this friendship, you were there for me for all of my races, i liked what we had, y/n.”

and there it was the sentence that you knew you’ll hear someday, being friend zoned.

you stood up, “oscar, let’s just forget this ever happened okay? you can just leave, we’ll see each other per normal, like we had before this conversation”

dragging oscar by you, you led him out of your hotel room, and before oscar could have a say, you slammed the door right by his face.

—

sitting by the side of your bed, looking out to the sky with y/bff/n on the phone, has never been better, especially when you’re finally homed alone.

“it’s crazy how he ignored whatever you said, and declared his love for lily just like that. After all, you’ve been there from the start”

sobbing silently, you couldn’t help but reminiscing the moments when you’ll wake up early in the morning to help out with oscar’s moment to prepare breakfast to bring along to his karting races.

“to be fair, lily’s gorgeous. He always had a huge crush on her. Maybe one day, i too will have someone that’s willing to have that love for me”

your best friend scoffed, “who are you kidding, you’re fucking beautiful. If anyone’s blind, it’s oscar. Who was the one who had a filled to the brim locker of valentines chocolate, surely not lily but you! he’ll regret his choices, y/n”

just remembering the times when you and your best friend had to literally give away chocolate to a bunch of kids made you giggled

—

the following weeks after the incident, things had been silent between the both of you.

it had became a controversial topic for your siblings and your parents to even bring up oscar’s name, and this goes the same to oscar too from what you’ve gotten an update from his sister, who you were still very much close too.

apparently word of mouth has gotten to the public too, especially after you’ve removed oscar and a few other followers from your Instagram in an order to stay more lowkey.

—

i’ll do a part 2 soon, promise! i am finally back from the dead :)! hope yall like this! next part will be an inspired story from ariana’s new song! (we can’t be friends)!!

[lnfours]

* ✰. — supernatural | l.n

summary: this love’s possessing me, but i don’t mind at all ; a new year with the same boy, but in a different way.

warnings: fluff, another friends to lovers!au brought to you by yours truly, based off ‘supernatural’ by ariana grande, pining so damn hard, a hint of language, not proofread bc i can’t sleep and i have this on my mind

masterlist | listen

✧˖°.🪐⋆｡°✩

you weren’t really sure when things changed with lando. how the once platonic touches turned into lingering ones that left a fire burning beneath his fingertips. how quick glances turned into longing stares before the other would notice and a quick shift of vision. everything suddenly meant something.

of course, everyone had put money on it years ago. they all had a gut feeling that at some point, things would come clear to the both of you that you were meant to be all along. how all those past relationships, situationships and failed first dates never worked out because no one could compare. and as always, the two of you would always shut it down. quick to reassure your other friends that if it ever were to happen, it’d ruin a life long friendship which was far more important.

they didn’t want to hear it though. always giving a slight nod, a ‘sure’ or a ‘we’ll see about that’. and boy were they right. they were onto the both of you before you even started. assumptions slowly coming to life as they all watched how the two of you acted around the other all of a sudden. how he’d always have an arm around you, not in a protective way, but in a ‘i need you right here with me’ kind of way. they all noticed how you never backed away, how you’d simply melt into him as the night progressed. your head leaning back on his shoulder as you talked. or how you would slip a hand around his back, occasionally drawing shapes onto the thin material of his shirts. a simple giveaway to them about something you didn’t even know was happening yet.

but now it was new years, the house party buzzing with people and music and everything in between. a celebration of the end of another year and into a new one with new beginnings. manifestations of good things in the air as the music played through the speakers of the house.

you were sat on the couch, drink in hand as you laughed with some of your mutual friends. lando couldn’t help but keep glancing over at you, eyes dancing over the way your eyes sparkled in the dim lighting. how your eyes creased when you laughed and smiled, how suddenly you were all he could see in a room full of people.

“mate,” max’s voice brought him back to earth, “did you hear what i said or were you too busy eye-fucking y/n?”

lando turned to his best friend, eyebrows pulled together, “what?”

he was trying not to get defensive. trying so hard not to tell his best friend that he wasn’t eye-fucking you, but rather looking over at you lovingly. looking at you as his heart went a mile a minute, scanning over all the features of your face for the millionth time, but all of a sudden taking this time, right here, right now, to try to memorize it. memorize everything little thing that made you perfect to him.

“c’mon, mate,” max sighed, almost as if he was tired of the same story, “you’ve been staring at her for the past five minutes. when are you going to go tell her you love her?”

lando swallowed the sip of his drink, rolling his eyes at his friend, “i don’t know what you’re on about.”

“please,” pietra joined the conversation now, arm linked on max’s, “you’re a terrible liar. you both are.”

he looked at the blonde with curiosity in his eyes. you both are? what was that supposed to mean? could it be-

he was about to ask before she spoke, “listen, you’re both single. clearly you’re into each other, just go talk to her!”

and with that, the couple was gone. off to join the circle of people in the living room who were counting down to midnight. he looked at the time on his phone, twenty minutes to the new year. to the new chapter he had desperately been craving.

he took another sip of his drink before he felt a hand on his shoulder, a soft ‘excuse me’ echoing in his ears. he looked up, a smile on your face as you squeezed past the person next to him to stand beside lando. he was quick to wrap his arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him in the crowded area.

you smiled, tucking a strand of hair from your face, with your free hand as the other wrapped around his neck, “hey,”

“hey,” he smiled right back at you, “feeling okay?”

you nodded, “i am now, yeah.”

oh if his heart wasn’t already flying out of his chest, it sure was now. your smile alone could send him over the moon. your fingers absentmindedly reaching towards the curls at the nape of his neck, twisting them lightly between your fingers. you loved when he kept his hair a little longer than normal so you could do this.

little did you know, he kept it a little longer just for you to do it.

“want something to drink? i can go grab you something,”

you shook your head, “i’m okay, thank you,”

he nodded back at you, “so, find your new years kiss yet?”

you scrunched your nose, looking around the house, “have you seen the people here? i don’t think i’ll have much luck. you?”

he shrugged, “haven’t had much luck either, but i also haven’t even really been looking.”

you laughed softly, “you haven’t?”

he shook his head, looking past you to look at the clock. ten minutes.

“i mean,” he started, “there’s one girl but i don’t know if she’s into me.”

you raised an eyebrow, trying not to let your face fall as your heart went to your feet, “well, what’s she look like?”

he swallowed a sip from his drink, “she’s gorgeous, even when she thinks she isn’t, she is. she’s really smart, possibly the smartest in the room right now. and she likes to go out, but she’d much rather curl up on the couch and put a movie on or read a book or something. and she keeps me in line, knows when to bring my ego back to earth.”

you smiled softly, “she sounds great.”

“she is,” he scanned your facial features, “she’s the best thing to ever happen to me.”

you sucked in a breath, “is she here?”

“yeah,” he smiled softly, “she’s right in front of me.”

suddenly the world stopped. it felt like time stood still as you stood in front of him. it was like you two were the only ones in the room.

“lando,” you breathed out, unsure of what to say. every birthday wish, every shooting star, you had used for this very moment. and now it was unfolding in front of you, and nothing has made you feel so many things at once quite like this has.

five minutes to the new year.

he smiled back at you, the toothy grin you had learned to fall in love with no matter how much he picked it apart whenever he would take pictures. you loved the little gap between his teeth, the way the moles and freckles charted his skin like constellations. constellations just for you. it was right here in this moment that everything everyone has ever said started to make you realize it has been him all along.

“i know it’s scary and new and every thing we always thought was something that was going to ruin our friendship,” he said, “but i can’t help it. i’m falling in love with you.”

the people around you started counting down, “59, 58, 57…”

“i’m falling in love with you, too,” you said, eyes scanning over his, green with specks of blue and oh so pretty, “i’ve been in love with you since the moment we met.”

he stood now, pulling you closer to him. 30, 29, 28…

“i want this,” he said, “i want you. i always have, and im sorry it took me this long to finally admit it.”

you wrapped your arms around his neck as his snaked around your middle. he was holding you as close as possible, and although it wasn’t a new experience to be this close, to take in the smell of his cologne, the smell of his shampoo and the cream he used to style his stupidly perfect curls. it wasn’t new to experience everything that made him ten times more irresistible, but right now, your heart was about to fly out of your chest at the feeling of him being this close before. a step into uncharted territory and you were growing impatient by the second. wanting nothing more than to just call him yours already. to let the world know that he was yours and yours only. to let your friends know that they were right all along, ready to hear the ‘i told you so’s as long as it kept him right here.

“i’m sorry, too.” you said. and you meant it. you had wished this had happened sooner, you couldn’t help but wonder that if it had, where you two would be now. what your little life would’ve looked like right about now.

with ten seconds left on the clock, he smiled and mumbled to you softly, “be my new years kiss,”

you smiled back at the curly haired boy you’ve loved your whole life, “i wouldn’t want you to kiss anyone else.”

five, four, three, two, one…

there were yells of celebration in the air, the echo of the fireworks on the tv. everyone either toasting to the new years or ringing in a new year with their loved by celebrating with a kiss. but you paid no mind to any of it, to any of the noise circling around you as you took in the way his lips slotted against yours. how his lips tasted like the cherry lip balm you had lent him earlier on in the night with a hint of the whiskey he had been nursing. his hands holding you in place in front of him, yours wrapping around his neck as he took it a step further and licked against your bottom lip.

everything about it sent butterflies straight to your stomach because after all this time, all the dreaming about this moment, it finally happened. you two had managed to crack, let down the facade. and truthfully, it felt like a weight was lifted off your shoulders and it made you question why neither of you came clean sooner.

his nose pressed against yours and you laughed softly, meeting his eyes. he was smiling back at you, wrapping a strand of your hair around his finger before slotting it back behind your ear.

he licked his lips, the both of you basking in each other after years and years of pining, “wanna get out of here?”

“please,” you sighed, and with that he led you through the crowd around you. led you to the door of the house party, nodding and bidding his few goodbyes before heading out. you held onto his arm the whole way, until he was unlocking the doors to the mclaren parked down the street. he opened the door for you, just like he always had, and you slid in. this time as he closed the door, you couldn’t help but notice the shift of energy. the way everything was unfolding was nothing less than exciting.

he climbed in on the drivers side, starting the car before slotting his hand with yours.

“mine or yours?”

you shrugged, looking over at him with a smile, “doesn’t matter,”

he nodded, pressing your hand to his lips as he pulled away from the curb. and really, it didn’t matter to you. because you would follow him anywhere. even to the ends of the earth and back.

which, of course he knew that. because he’d do the same for you.

[eloriis]

HEATHER - lando norris

in which. . heather was everything lando wanted and y/n could never be her, no matter what she did — ln4 x f! reader

- inspired by heather | conan gray

warnings : body image issues(?), slight mentions of being intoxicated, let me know if there’s anything else!

notes: first fully written post and angst, kinda scared about how it’s going to do cuz i haven’t written in so long.

i hate angst or sad endings so i have no idea what got me to actually go through with this idea 💀💀

type : written ⋆ word count : 1.3k

i still remember the third of december, me in your sweater

i was currently in lando’s living room scrolling through my phone when lando walked into the room and sat down beside me, pulled out his phone, and asked, “what do you want for lunch? i was planning on ordering some food.” i put my phone down and looked into his beautiful aquamarine eyes, which were already looking into mine. “anything works really." he glanced down at his phone and looked up. “uhhh you in mood for some... pasta??"  i gave him a little nod and smiled, “yeah sure! that sounds great.”

you said it looked better on me than it did you

he quickly placed the order and looked at me with a bright smile. “the order has been placed, my lady.” giggling, i replied, “oh how kind of you, sir." he looked at me and quickly smiled when he saw what i was wearing. “my sweater looks so much better on you than me, pretty girl." a small blush rose in my neck. “thank you, lan” i quietly replied with a smile.

 only if you knew how much i liked you

i felt a small weight on my heart after the compliment. i knew he meant it as a friendly gesture, but i couldn’t help but want it to be something more intimate. i wanted to tell him just how much i loved him and wanted him to myself, but i knew.

 but i watch your eyes as she walks by

i knew how you felt about her, how you thought she was the prettiest girl in the world, and how she had the prettiest smile and the most gorgeous eyes. how could i not? with all the times you’ve ranted about her to me?

 what a sight for sore eyes

everyone knew how much she meant to you; anyone with half a brain and eyes would. your eyes were practically heart-shaped whenever she was around.

 brighter than the blue sky

it was almost as if she were the walking sun. whenever she was around, your bright blue eyes would somehow become even brighter and bluer.

 she’s got you mesmerized while i die

i couldn’t help but feel like i was drowning in my own feelings and thoughts whenever I saw her or heard her name. she’s got you on your knees for her, the same way you have me on my knees for you.

 why would you ever kiss me?

it was 2:47 a.m on a saturday night, and you were in my apartment after a night of partying too hard. i left you to freshen up and got you some water, when i came back and watched you gulp the water down, i felt like this was the closest i could ever get to calling you my boyfriend. you suddenly stood up and walked closer to me. my eyes widened as you were walking closer and closer to me. you suddenly held my right cheek and whispered, “you’re so pretty, i could kiss you right now.”

i shouldn’t have done it, i shouldn’t have told you to do it. i knew it would kill me the next day, but i had finally had the chance to know how you feel. how could i ever pass that up?

 i’m not even half as pretty

standing in front of the mirror, i could tell why he liked her. she had the most gorgeous hair, the perfect body, the sweetest voice, and really, really pretty eyes.

 you gave her your sweater, it’s just polyester

she walked into the room wearing your sweater, which fit her perfectly. it was not very baggy but not very form-fitting either, maybe it’s because of her body. the worst part wasn’t that she looked so comfortable in it, but the way you looked at her, like she had hung the stars and the moon in the sky.

 

but you like her better

 wish i were heather

all i want is one day. just one day in her body to know how it feels to have you love me. that’s all i ask for.

 watch as she stands with her, holding your hand

her hands fit perfectly into yours; they looked as if Aphrodite herself had made each of your hands with the other in mind.

 put your arm ‘round her shoulder, now i’m getting colder

i turned around excitedly to look at lando as our song started playing in the background of the club, only to come face-to-face with another scene that had my heart cracking even more and another night successfully ruined.

he was talking to some of our mutual friends, which wasn’t even the worst part. he had his arm around her shoulder, holding her securely as she started laughing about something lando had said. a shiver went down my spine, and the chill i felt was nothing compared to how my heart was hurting.

 but how could i hate her? she’s such an angel

“oh my god, i’m so sorry! i didn’t mean to intrude.” i was just in the restroom, touching up my makeup and talking to my best friend over the phone, when she walked into the restroom. she looked like she was genuinely surprised and did not mean to walk in.

i almost felt bad for trying to antagonize her.

but then again, kinda wish she were dead as she

walks by

all the feelings of guilt had disappeared when i was back where i was a few weeks ago. standing beside lando, talking to him when she walks into the room, stealing his attention as always.

 what a sight for sore eyes

i could feel my eyes tearing up; i couldn’t make a scene. not here in public. i quickly excused myself to the restroom and walked towards it with my head down while taking shaky breaths every ten seconds to try and calm myself.

 brighter than the blue sky

it happened again; your eyes suddenly became so much brighter and more vibrant when you looked at her. it hurts. i wish i could just tell you how much you mean to me and how i want to be more than just your friend, but no, i can’t do this to you or myself. i can’t make you choose between me and her when i know that you’ll always choose her.

she’s got you mesmerized while i die

i wish that you were under a spell—a spell that makes you look at her as if she’s the only person who matters. a spell that makes you want her and not me. i also wish that maybe, if she does have you under a spell, i could learn it too. just for one day, just to know how it feels to be your everything.

 why would you ever kiss me?

that night haunts me. your lips on mine were the best thing i’ve ever felt. it was short, but it will always be the most precious moment to me. the ghost of your lips keeps me awake at night, hoping that maybe you'll come again, for another kiss that i can treasure. but i know it will never happen, not when you have her to go to.

i’m not even half as pretty

i would never be like her, no matter how much i workout, what I eat, or what I wear. i could never compare myself to her. she’s the sun while i’m just another star somewhere in the sky.

 you gave her your sweater, it’s just polyester

i saw your sweater again, a different one. it was the one i gave you on your birthday last year, the one you loved so much and promised to never let anyone touch it or take it away from you. i guess that promise means nothing to you, just like the many other ones that we shared.

 but you like her better

no matter what you do or say, i know that i’ll always be second to her. i don’t have to hear it from anyone; i can see it as clearly as broad daylight.

 

i wish i were heather.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

@bingussthirdtoe

[thef1diary]

All The Love We Lost | P. Gasly

Summary: After a brutal crash took the life of your lover, and leaving your best friend with multiple injuries, you have to figure out how to cope without him.

Warnings: character death, angst, like heavy angst, detailed description of the crash, lots of emotions, dealing with loss, emotional breakdowns, brief mention of unhealthy eating habits, hopeful ending but still sad, christian horner.

Pairings: pierre x fem!reader (established relationship), charles x fem!reader (platonic), daniel x fem!reader (platonic), lando x fem!reader (platonic), carlos x fem!reader (platonic)

word count: 6.1k

Note: this is not a happy fic. Please take the warnings seriously. I apologize in advance if the way I wrote the characters dealing with grief is not accurate. This is just how I think it would be realistic. And a reminder, this is a work of fiction, please do not take it to heart.

The moment the crash happened, it felt like all the air was sucked out of your lungs. Your heartbeat paced to the point where it rung in your ears, blocking out all the sounds of those around you reacting to the same thing.

Pierre had a brutal crash during the race. You've seen him walk out of crashes before, laughing at your pale face caused by your reaction to the scene. Then he would kiss your cheek and give you a big hug to show you that he was truly alright, teasing you for being so worried for no reason.

However, you waited and waited until he walked out of the car, but that moment never came. You stood still, eyes stuck on the screen showing you everything that was happening in live timing, while everyone around you was gathering more information, finding out what went wrong.

You watched the screen until the cameras panned towards something else, not wanting to broadcast the aftermath of the crash on live television.

What made it worse was that Pierre wasn't alone in this crash, Daniel was the other driver who was involved as well. There were only a few laps left to the race before the crash happened, instantly red flagging it.

While Daniel had attempted to overtake Pierre, they touched, creating a loud sound. The cars slid off the track due to a puncture on both the rear end wheels of Daniel's car. This led to his car going out of control, unfortunately taking Pierre's car as well.

Both cars hit the barrier, but after that you couldn't keep your eyes open to see the rest of it, the sound of it was too much, and you knew it would haunt your dreams for the next following weeks.

When you opened your eyes again, there was a lot of debris on the track caused by both cars. You couldn't even make out the shape of one of them anymore. It was bad, very bad. Due to the wheel spin, one car ended up on top of the other, not completely but enough to cover the driver underneath.

Now, it was like you've forgotten how to blink, because you felt like if you did then you'd miss out on something huge.

It had been two hours to the crash, and there wasn't any update on either driver. They had both been taken straight to the hospital rather than the medical centre due to the impact of the crash. No one told you whether Pierre or Daniel had gained consciousness but based on the atmosphere, you didn't think so.

You stood in the hallway of the hospital, outside the emergency rooms. You rested your head against the wall, having to close your eyes due to the bright white lights on the ceiling. Your fist tightened as the need to cry overwhelmed you. In your hand, you held the ring that Pierre always takes off before the race and giving it to you.

You opened your eyes when you felt a light tap on your shoulders. It was Charles, holding a cup of water towards you. You weakly smiled and took it, quenching the thirst you ignored for a while now. He stood beside you, shoulder to shoulder.

You chose to lean your head against his shoulder, and his arm came up to bring you in a side hug. "He'll be okay, they both will." He muttered, and you couldn't reply because you'd start asking questions that you knew he didn't have the answers to.

Instead, you decided to keep quiet and hope that Charles was correct. You don't know how long the two of you stayed like that, finding comfort in each other's presence. There were quite a few others around you including Carlos, Lando, Christian, but your thoughts didn't wander on them at all.

Just Pierre and Daniel.

The only time you moved was when the doctor stood in front of the small crowd, passing the news of what happened behind the doors of the emergency rooms.

"Daniel Ricciardo is in a stable condition, although unconscious now, he should be waking up in a little while." The doctor who you don't even remember the name of said. There were a few audible signs of relief yours included when you heard the news.

However, your heart was still longing for the other half. The news of your other half.

"However, I'm afraid I have some bad news, we were unable to save Pierre Gasly. I am sorry for your loss." Contrary to the sighs of relief just seconds before, those were now replaced with gasps.

A single tear slid down your cheek and your lips quivered. Not even seconds later, your face was wet with your tears as you fell down to your knees. The tight grasp on his ring slipped away, making a small clattering sound. But that was nothing compared to the sound of your heart breaking. You gasped, tried to breathe in air but you struggled.

It felt like someone had taken your heart in their grasp and squeezed the life out of it.

The people around you were saying something but you couldn't hear anything clearly. It all sounded mumbled. Holding your hands close to your chest, you broke down and no matter how strong you might've looked for the past couple of hours, you were the complete opposite right now.

——

"Thank you for putting up with me for five years. Happy anniversary, ma chérie" Pierre whispered in your ear as he uncovered your eyes.

It had been an hour long drive to your destination, and the entire hour you tried prying out the information of your surprise from your lover. But he didn't budge.

Pierre had set up a candlelit dinner under the stars. One table, two chairs, and a whole bunch of decoration with gifts. He truly knew how to spoil you.

You turned around, immediately bringing him close for a kiss. "Happy anniversary, my love." You smiled once you pulled away.

To Pierre, your smile was the brighter than any star in the sky.

——

Your anniversary marking five years of dating was one week ago, and you couldn't possibly comprehend the vast difference from one of the best days of your life to the worst.

You were standing in the parking lot of the hospital. Not able to stay inside because you felt the need to scream. Nor could you go home, because it would look exactly how you left it this morning. With Pierre.

"This is not real, no. Please no" you muttered to yourself. You heard your name spoken from a familiar Monégasque accent. You couldn't face him, no. You shook your head, but he didn't listen. Pulling you in a hug, you could hear his cries as well.

It wasn't only you who needed this support, Charles did too. After all, he was Pierre's best friend. "Char, I can't believe this. I don't want to." You stuttered out in between your sniffles. You weren't sure if he heard you since your face was still in the crook of his neck.

He pulled away, looking as worse as you felt. "He was okay. This happened to fast. I-" he choked on his own words, "-I didn't even get to say goodbye." He said as he was fidgeting with a ring on his pinky.

"They're telling me everything will be okay. How? He was like a brother to me." Charles continued, his arm stretched out to point, referring to the rest of the people inside.

You couldn't console him, how could you when you didn't even have a control on your own emotions and thoughts. So you listened to him, while wiping away the tears staining his cheeks. Charles was one of the few people who was as close to Pierre as you were, if not more. He was the one who could understand the length of your emotions.

Your eyes dried up but the need to cry didn't falter. Both yours and Charles' eyes were rimmed red.

Once Charles had nothing more to say, you two stood in the silence. For once, the silence was louder than your heartbeat.

It was silent until Carlos came outside, calling your names. "Daniel's awake." He stated, and while you were happy for him you didn't have the energy to smile.

He was mainly talking to Charles, or so you thought until Carlos said your name. "Are you coming?" You nodded. After all, Daniel was still a close friend of yours.

Daniel had been moved to a different room, where visitors were allowed to see him. You saw Lando leaving his room, knowing the duo had gotten closer over the past few years. He stopped when he saw you, trying to bring a smile on his face but his eyes were full of concern.

You didn't mutter a word to him, and walked in Daniel's room. If you didn't acknowledge your own emotions, you won't need to find a solution to deal with them. And quite frankly, you've dealt with a lot more emotions today than you thought.

Mustering up a smile or at least the best smile you could stick on your face, you greeted him, "hey danny”

He was missing his signature smile, and he didn't look too good either. One of his arms was in a plaster cast, and you could see the bruises on the area that the cast didn't cover. Trailing your eyes upwards, you noticed the marks of stitches on his forehead. You couldn't even imagine the amount of injuries he had below the thin blanket currently covering him.

His face had lost some of its colour, and the darkness under his eyes appeared deeper. The glint in his eyes disappeared, which was a very odd look because you were so used to seeing him all happy. He was far from happy at the moment.

"I'm sorry." He spoke, softly as if speaking any louder would physically hurt him. You didn't expect the first words out his mouth would be an apology to you.

Lando and Carlos were the ones to break the news to him about Pierre. They didn't want to, telling Daniel to rest but he really wanted to know.

You inhaled sharply, because you knew exactly what he was apologizing for. You didn't know whether to accept it or not. You still weren't stable with the news, so you figured instead of saying something you might regret, you didn't say anything at all.

As much as you didn't want to ignore his words, that's exactly what you did. Taking a step closer to him, you brought your hand up to lightly graze his face.

His lips trembled but he bit them to hide that, but you had already noticed it. You didn't want to make this any harder on him. You couldn't imagine the pain of dealing with the loss of someone close at the same time as recovering from the brutal accident.

You accidentally grazed over his stitches which caused a pained sound to leave his lips. You instantly moved your hand away, "sorry."

You stood there, watching him. There was probably a lot that needed to be said between you two, but this was not the place nor time.

You took note of the time, visiting hours would be over soon. He saw you looking at the clock on the wall, "stay?" He voiced his thoughts, hopefully not sounding too desperate.

You nodded, pulling a chair closer to his bed and sitting down. You saw his fingers twitching on the hand that didn't have a cast. He didn't say a word, but you understood him well enough. You grasped his hand, stopping his fingers from twitching.

A thought crossed your mind, of yours and Daniel's friendship. How it has changed from now on. You never saw him think twice before hugging you or merely making any sort of contact with you. But now, you saw how he avoided your eyes, how he didn't want to touch you because he was afraid.

In Daniel's mind, he felt ashamed and disgusted to even be in the same room as you. He couldn't even think about his own pain, oh how he wished his physical pain would take his mind off what he did, even if it was unintentional. But he felt numb because of all the painkillers in his system.

You slowly rubbed your thumb across the back of his hand while holding it. Hoping the sensation was at least somewhat soothing.

It was silent in the room, the only sound was the whirring of the air conditioning. You saw goosebumps forming on Daniel's arm and wondered if it was because he was cold or due to your touch.

The silence allowed your thoughts to wander, and they weren't pretty. You could feel your eyes welling up with tears again, so you rested your forehead on your hand that was holding Daniel's, not letting him see you break. If he did, he would feel a lot worse, and you wanted him to have a speedy recovery not the opposite.

You closed your eyes, preventing any tears from falling and although you couldn't see, Daniel was doing the same. He finally found a resting position where his head didn't throb from the pain, then closed his eyes. The only contact between you two was your entwined hands, but for some reason that was enough to ground both of you.

Your peace was interrupted when Christian came in the room, "visiting hours are over." He told you quietly, making you lift up your head to look at him. "I'm staying." You told him, which made Daniel open his eyes as well.

"Only one person is allowed to stay, and I think it's best if I do." Christian spoke in a stern voice, then he felt like he made a mistake, softening his voice for the next words, "I don't think it's a good idea if you stay, since..." he didn't finish his sentence, but you knew exactly what he wanted to say. Since Pierre died.

You stood up, "Christian, with all due respect, Daniel is my friend and I want to stay here. Don't try to convince me otherwise." Your throat ached while you spoke.

He knew that he wouldn't win in this little argument, so he nodded. "Please take care of yourself, both of you." He said before leaving the room.

You looked at Daniel before making yourself comfortable on the chair again. "You really didn't have to stay, I would've been fine on my own." Daniel told you but you sighed, "Is it selfish of me to stay here mainly because I don't want to go home?"

You truly didn't have the energy to face everything at home. And as much as you wanted to stay because of Daniel, you also used him as an excuse so you don't have to go home.

He didn't respond, so you changed the topic of conversation, "now it's time for you to rest properly."

He smiled a bit and nodded before closing his eyes. You moved from the chair to the couch in the corner of the room that would be your bed for tonight.

You made the mistake of looking at your phone, a photo of Pierre set as the background. You ignored that and glanced at the messages you received from the other drivers, all knowing the news about Pierre. However, it wasn't announced to the public yet.

——

You were woken up by the sound of a glass breaking. Immediately getting up, you saw the cause of the sound. "Daniel!" You gasped, and he paused mid action, feeling like a little child who got caught.

You rushed over to his side, avoiding the broken glass on the floor. This happened because he tried to pick up a glass of water from the side table.

You picked up another glass and filled up the water from the jug. Then, instead of giving it to him, you held it for him as he slowly sipped.

Once he pulled away, you placed it down on the table again. "You could've woken me up" you told him. "I underestimated my uselessness." He shrugged.

"You're not useless. You're hurt, and if you keep this up then I might just have you move in with me so I can properly take care of you." You rushed out the first words that came to mind.

Daniel watched as the realization came across your face, already shaking his head. "Actually that's exactly what we're going to do." You told him.

"I am perfectly fine, you don't have to take care of me like I'm a child." He huffed, and you had to stop yourself from smiling because he did in fact look like a child right now. "Oh really? Then show me you can get up all on your own."

You observed him as he attempted to do as you told, key word being attempt. But, when he removed the blanket to prevent any restriction, you stopped him from actually trying to get up.

Finally seeing the extent of his injuries, your heart hurt. His left leg had a long line of stitches below his knee. His right ankle had a cast, restricting any movement. Other than those injuries, his legs were littered with bruises.

"I was joking, don't actually move. Please." The tone of your voice instantly changed into worry. Placing the blanket back over him, you sat on the couch again, ignoring the glass for now. It was past midnight anyways so you didn't want to bother the staff.

"You're not actually going to have me move in with you, are you?" He asked. "I'd prefer if you did because I don't want you to live alone, but if you don't want to then I can't force you." You didn't expect him to give a response to that right away.

——

Two days after that, you were told to go home to rest, and you definitely knew that was just a nicer way to tell you that you needed a shower.

Lando had taken your spot of taking care of Daniel in the hospital while Charles chose to drive you home. He chose to come if you needed him for anything, not wanting to leave you alone.

He looked horrible though, messy hair, red eyes, clothes mismatched. Yet he showed up for you.

Maybe you were glad that he came with because what you were faced with, you couldn't have done it alone. Once you entered the building, the doorman gave you a package, saying that it had been two days since it was here.

You had no idea what it was, but it was wrapped very nicely. Entering your apartment, you inhaled sharply looking around at everything with a new perspective.

Your home had lost its homey feeling.

Deciding to open the package, you saw the contents inside. Maybe you shouldn't have opened it but you also didn't know that it was from Pierre.

"It's been a week, can you believe that? I just spent another seven days with my lover. But I'm sure most of those days were probably spent away from you because of work. Think of this as a little apology gift."

- Your one and only

You read the note, and a tear stained the paper. Unwrapping it fully, you saw that there was a little couples spa package and plane tickets to Santorini.

Pierre had preordered this gift because he knew that he would forget about it during the race week. That's what he was doing when he was acting a little suspicious on his laptop.

"Charles" you cried, handing him the note before hugging him tightly. "I miss him, I miss him so much."

"Me too." He folded the notes after reading it. Pierre had told him about this idea, and he was fully on board with it even though he was slightly annoyed at your public affection of love. Both Pierre and Charles knew you'd be so happy receiving this gift, but now Charles witnessed it himself that while the sentiment was there, it was a really bad time.

"I'm sorry, he told me about this and I completely forgot. I shouldn't have brought you here." He told you, but you shook your head. "I'm gonna have to live here anyways."

"You can always move in with me." He suggested. "It's okay, thank you though."

You moved further inside, going to the bedroom. Bracing yourself as you entered. Charles chose to wait outside, he felt like the moment was too personal.

He didn't hear any sound coming from the room, and a while had passed. Checking the time, it had been an hour since you were in your room. He wandered by the door, looking around for you.

And when he did, he entered the room. You are cuddled up on the bed clutching one of Pierre's hoodies, that no doubt smelt like him. There were tear stains on your cheeks, and your eyes were tightly shut.

Instead of waking you up, he spread a blanket over your body and left the room. Before leaving the apartment, he took one of the spare keys if there was an emergency.

Then, he fired off a text to tell you that he left, and to call him if you need anything.

——

Today was the day that Daniel would be discharged from the hospital and move in with you for however long he needed. Again, it was a little selfish decision on your end because you didn't want to be alone. However, you couldn't say that out loud anymore, after all it had been a week since Pierre died.

While your friends still comforted you, you felt like a burden to them. Always needing them to take care of you, so you thought that at least with Daniel around, he wouldn't judge and you actually looked forward to spending time with him.

You still cried, every day. While making breakfast, while taking a shower, while doing any normal day-to-day activities. You were still a mess. To the point where you avoided looking at yourself in the mirror unless it was absolutely necessary.

Kind of like this moment, where you needed to look presentable before the guys came over. Lando and Charles were bringing Daniel over and even texted you that they'd bring food.

Talking about food, that was another thing you were close to giving up on. You surely lost some weight in the past week, your appetite disappearing every time you sat down to eat.

Glancing at yourself in the mirror one last time, you stuck a smile on your face—something you did very often nowadays—and opened the door to greet the boys. You had heard them, specifically Lando's laugh which informed you they had arrived.

Daniel was in a wheelchair, due to the injuries from his torso down. He could walk, but barely. Although there were no serious fractures in his leg other than in his ankle.

Lando wheeled him inside, muttering something about him being too heavy which earned him a smack on his chest by the same man who he was making fun of. "Ow, mate you're supposed to be hurt, not hurting others."

"You don't count." He retorted which made Charles chuckle. He looked better now, or at least was better than before.

You and Charles had conversed over text, talking about all the things that you two were afraid to tell anyone else. Like the fact that you both had trouble sleeping, and when you did, you had nightmares. Charles had experienced loss before, but no matter how many times one could go through that, it doesn't make the next one any easier.

You were grateful for your friends, they had unknowingly made the days a little better. While they were over, time passed easily. For the first time, a conversation didn't mention Pierre. It wasn't because you had already forgotten about him, far from it, but it felt okay not needing to mention him. It was a weird feeling, one that would take time getting used to, but that's what you needed. Time.

Soon, Lando and Charles were leaving. Now it was only you and Daniel in the apartment. You stood to clean up but Daniel grasped your wrist to stop you.

"Can we talk please?" And just like that, the mood switched and it was like you were taken back to reality. You nodded and sat back down, eye level with him.

"I want to apologize, and it's okay if you don't believe me but I need to get this off my chest. It was not intentional at all. I didn't think that was going to happen. I am so sorry for everything." He managed to say without tears spilling down his cheeks.

If he told you this a week ago, you might've lashed out on him. But now, you had thought it through and as easy it would've been to blame someone or something, you knew it wasn't right. "Daniel, why wouldn't I believe you?" You held his hand. "Pierre was everything to you, heck, you were everything to him. And I took that away. I still don't understand why you care about me, or even talk to me."

"Listen, I was there. I saw it all. And even though I desperately wish that he was here right now, I would never blame you for it. It is not your fault. And I still care about you because you're my friend, okay? We're still friends right?" You asked him.

He nodded, still hanging his head low, not meeting your eyes. "Daniel, look at me." You placed your fingers underneath his chin and lifted his head. "This is not your fault." He nodded, trying to convince himself. He let out a sigh of relief when you hugged him, not remembering the last time you did.

Weeks went by, and it was safe to say that with Daniel around, it was a little bit easier to live with the constant ache in your heart. Things were better between you two. Although he still thought twice before saying anything to you, he tried his best to be himself.

While things were beginning to look better, there were still many days that weren't good at all. Daniel had witnessed a few outbursts of cries when you found something around the house that reminded you of a specific memory of Pierre. But instead of backing away because he thought he would make it worse, he comforted you.

There were many nights spent with you crying your heart out to him. Some days, he even joined you.

In terms of his own journey towards healing, he didn't need the wheelchair at all. Though he still limped while walking due to the cast on his foot.

You thought that getting a concussion would set his mind straight, but he was still the stubborn Danny you knew very well.

His bruises lightened, almost fading away. You took him to his mandatory doctor's appointments even though he tried convincing you that he didn't need to go. On those days, you quite literally pulled him out of bed. From those mandatory appointments, you learned that he could get rid of the plaster on his arm and replace it with a brace instead, making it slightly easier to move with less weight on his injured arm.

Daniel insisted on helping you make dinner one day. Although he wasn't a chef, he was still a good helper. Until he wasn't. You had given him the simple task of cutting up vegetables.

Making a pained sound, he moved away from the kitchen counter, clutching his hand. You stopped what you were doing immediately, "what happened?"

He showed you his hand, a cut across two fingers. Though it looked small so you chuckled. "Are you laughing at me?" He glared at you.

"Well it's pretty small compared to how you're reacting." You shrugged.

"It hurts." He retorted. "Alright you big baby, let me make it all better." You said in a joking tone which made Daniel huff.

You seated him down then brought the first aid kit. He was looking at you while you were focusing on his little injury. Disinfecting it then putting a bandage on it, you looked at him, surprised when you noticed that he was already looking at you.

About to walk away, he called out your name. "If you're going to treat me like a child, you forgot to do one thing." He brought his injured fingers up. You shook your head with a smile on your face. Holding his hand, you kissed his bandage covered wound. "There, all better now." You teased.

You went back to making dinner, this time without Daniel as you instructed him to rest for a little while.

The next day, you woke up with a lot of energy despite the few hours of sleep you had gotten. This energy led you to properly clean up your apartment.

You had tried to keep it clean at most times, especially since Daniel was staying over and you didn't want him to see how much of a mess you truly were. He also helped by cleaning up after himself and you if need be.

But he was surprised when you told him that you'll sort through Pierre's stuff today. This was a big step forward for you.

You started with the trophies on the shelf, cleaning them before putting it in a box. You were definitely keeping them, not having the guts to get rid of the proof of his achievements, but you didn't want them collecting dust.

Pierre used to look at them before he left for the race weekend. He told you that it was motivating, knowing that he's achieved this level of success before which meant that he was capable of it again.

After that, you moved to the bedroom. Ever since that day you fell asleep with Pierre's hoodie in your grasp, you had kept that habit. While it may not be the best coping strategy especially for moving on, it was comforting. It was like you could feel Pierre's presence right next to you.

Sorting through his clothes, you were hit by memories of the days he wore those clothes. Some days he chose to wear his merch, while other days you'd pick an outfit for him. You remembered how he used to love it when you wore his clothes, even if they looked bigger on you.

And you loved wearing them, because it smelt just like him. A scent you grew to love over the past years. Making a quick decision without thinking twice, you took off your shirt and put one of his hoodies on, inhaling deeply.

One by one, you removed all his clothes from the closet placing them in boxes. Honestly, you had no idea what you'd do with it but you knew you can't keep them hanging up for so long either. Maybe you could ask Charles if he comes by.

Then you moved on to his jewelry. The day he died, he was wearing the crucifix chain. It was removed and given to you a few days later. You didn't know what to do with it. Same with his rings. The ring you were holding in the hospital was in your hand at the moment.

It was too big for you or else you could've worn it.

You checked the drawers just in case you missed anything, and you did. You gasped as soon as you saw it. A velvet box.

"No, no, no, please no." You muttered, as your hands shook while you reached out to grab it. It could've been something else. It didn't have to be what you were thinking it was. That's why you opened to check it.

There it was, a shiny engagement ring with a nice big diamond in the middle. You choked on your breath and tears started spilling out of your eyes.

You fell to your knees, accidentally knocking something else over but you could care less about that.

"I'm going to make you my wife one day" Pierre told you while he was completely drunk. You laughed, his French accent more prominent now. You were helping him get ready for bed after a fun night out. "Is that right? Did you buy a ring yet?" You asked, but he shook his head. "No."

"Are you ready to be stuck with me for the rest of your life?" You teased, not expecting to get a serious answer since he struggled to get his shirt off. You slapped his hands away and started undoing the buttons. "I've been ready, ma chérie. Mrs. Gasly, how does that sound?"

You pushed him on the bed, and he easily went. Straddling him, you kissed his cheek. "That sounds amazing, darling. Ask me when you're sober."

Daniel heard the commotion coming from your room and immediately rushed to find you. Well as best as he could which was a funny look since he was speed limping. You would've laughed if you saw him like that.

He saw you sat on the floor with something in your hand which he couldn't see until he came closer. "Oh my god." He muttered. He couldn't imagine the amount of pain you felt. Everything was going so well until it wasn't. Another reminder of what he took away from you.

He crouched down, touching your shoulder which seemed to bring you out of your thoughts. "He was- he was going to propose, Daniel." You hiccuped in between your cries.

"He told me that he couldn't wait to marry me but he didn't have the ring then." You told him while he held you against him. The warmth of his body slightly comforting.

You and Pierre were planning your life out, of what it would look like after his racing career. But now, that dream will never come true. It would just stay a dream. That realization hurt a lot more than it should've.

Moving away from Daniel, you picked up the phone. Calling the one other person who you assumed knew about this. "Char, did you know?" You asked as soon as he picked up.

"Know what? Are you okay, do you need me to come over?" He asked, worried. You shook your head not realizing he couldn't see you, "no Charles, did you know he was going to propose?"

There was a silence on the other end which made you sob. "I'm coming over." He stated and hung up.

You made eye contact with Daniel after tossing the phone somewhere. He didn't know what to do, awkwardly sitting there. It took you two seconds before you were back in his arms, crying on his shoulder.

Charles found you two like that, joining in on the hug. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, I didn't think you'd see it." He confessed after seeing the ring in your hand.

You pulled away, a smile on your face despite the tears. You laughed a bit, scaring the two men looking at you. "He really loved me that much huh?" You said out loud.

"He loved me so much that even after he left, it would be enough to last me a lifetime." You continued your thought while returning to sobs.

"I miss you baby, I miss you so much." You muttered to yourself as you covered your face with you hands.

From that day onward, you had finally processed the fact that he wasn't returning. Yes you missed him, his voice, his laugh, his everything but you accepted it, even though the hole in your heart was irreplaceable.

Instead of pushing away the grief because you didn't want to deal with it, didn't know how, you acknowledged your feelings. You were working on it, day by day.

You didn't wear the ring, nor did you get rid of it. It was a bittersweet proof of the fact that you could've had it all.

[12-seconds-to-live]

How do we stay?

pairing - f1drivers/2022 - DR3

summary - after almost lose you, all the drivers welcome you at the Austria GP, where there’s news about your future and more than one has something to tell you, even confess. pt.1 and pt.2.

warnings - angst

taglist - @ i0veless  sabrinaselina55  majx00  tyna-19 

“No way, I must be drunk and I didn’t realized”

It’s thursday, media day and without annoucement, Alice Brooks, F1 driver for Williams Racing appears in the paddock after an almost deathly crash in Baku. People never expect that to happen, even that she’ll be back. Everybody wanna see her racing and joking around and she prepare herself to heal and be in better shape.

“Well, I don’t brush my hair today, I really look that bad?” Alice ask to the first person to see her in the parking lot in the RedBull Ring, Pierre Gasly. No more words were needed, he drops his bag and hug her, she’s back, he thought. She accepted the hug and could feel her shoulder getting wet, Pierre was crying. For Alice, it is still unknown the impact of the accident on her friends, in fear of losing her and having to say goodbye was the first part to break their hearts. She passes her hands around her friend to comfort him.  

“I’m here and I don’t want to leave”

“We can make promises and...we just...you know”

“The letter?” she asks

“Yeah. We love you as much as you do to us, The boys are going to faint when they see you”

“Hope not, I want a lot of hugs and say thank you. I heard all of you” Pierre open his eyes in shock not believing her words.

“Movies are not to far from reality, I guess” Alice laughs and hug him to the side

“Let’s go. I don’t want to be late, P” He smiles and follow her lead to her hospitality. A few people knew that she was going to drive in Austria, none of her friends knew. Safe to say that Alice is scared, she’s grateful for her second family and this is her second chance to do things right, not only for her, for her friends, for the one she loves. Daniel.

----------

Daniel and Alice

Alice and Daniel

They are another story of the ones who loved but never confess their feelings. By the time they meet a year ago, they became best friends, always side by side even when they are from different teams. Daniel was the first one to realize his feelings, everytime she laughs his stomach feels the common butterflies, when she was sad, he always offer his shoulder for her to cry... but he wasn’t brave to tell her how she moves his world so fast that this well-being was more important that anything and when he saw her in that hospital bed his world fall, his heart stop and suddenly, there’s was not more road to follow, not without you by his side.

Now, more than ever  Zak announced in a private reunion that his contract with Mclaren ended so, he doesn’t have a seat for next year. He told you in your sleep but it wasn’t the same, you didn’t confort him, everybody want you back, he want you back.

“Daniel? Are you decent?” Lando sounded a bit agitaded. Alice didn’t know but Lando saw you with Pierre going to your motorhome, he almost screams and decided to look for Daniel.

“Yeah, all good?”

Lando sit in on the floor and look at him with wide eyes. Mmmm... have you heard anything from Al? I mean like,we know that she was in therapy and we can’t reach her but..but...Is she here? I mean...she’s here, she’s not dead so I want to believe that I didn’t see a ghost”

Daniel took his phone, looking to the photo of you together. He want to believe Lando. He’s been waiting so long for you. He looked for your number and press call.

----------

In the Williams motorhome, a very emotional Alex Albon keeps crying, with his girlfriend and teammate by his side. At the moment he saw Alice, he feels so relieved, he missed her so much and prays everyday to see her back on action, back on track.

“Please, don’t cry anymore”

“You’re so mean...you should call and I will bring the cats” Alice and Lily laughs with that

“There’s not need to that. I’ll visit them” She hugs him and look for Lily too. “Thanks you, you’re my first and best teammate ever, If I am good on track is because of you, even when we don’t have the best car. And Lily, I always tried to say hi to you but, nobody could hear me, so, hi” Alice let go Alex and embrace the girl in a hug. The couple procede to go out and let the girl get ready for media day.

Her phone starts ringing and see the photo of a very smiley Daniel, she didn’t answer, she want to wait and surprised him, see his smile but better ignored him at the moment. She takes her phone, water bottle and suited with her team gear head to the conference room. She’s going to be with Lewis, Carlos, Daniel and Max.

Walking almost hidding from everybody, Alice stands behind from George who was talking with Charles. 

Charles blink twice and muttered a curseword. That made the Mercedes driver to turned around. Alice opens her arms to them.

“I’m so happy, thank God you’re here” said George

“Why you didn’t text that you were coming? We’re going to take more care of you, Spolied you like a baby and...and” started Charles

“I know, I was scared, my mind was getting tricky but I’m fine and thank you for visit and be with me when I was alone at the hospital. I love you too boys” The embrace again in a hug “But now, I have a press conference, so, maybe we can chat later

“Deal”

“See you Al”

Alice enter the building feeling nervous, face the reporters, thinking in the questions, their answers, the feeling of change, guilt, pain, all to remember how she was almost gone to them, how she said goodbye in a sad way and then she’s here, again, ready to face anything, a race, the championship, the press, Daniel

Tell him how much she want to be with him. Explore the world and keep wining in F1.

All least she’s going to be the one doing that next season.

Her PR was waiting for her, she was the last one to arrive. At the time she opens the door, Daniel was about to sit. The faced each other, everybody noticed and feel for them, there’s no secret how much the care for each other.

Suddenly, Daniel forgot how to walk and even if he really forgot that, Alice would be there to help him to walk alongside him. She step in from of him and hug him. Daniel starts crying and embrace her, feeling like he was going to lose her again, feeling how he wasn’t able to sleep properly ‘cause his other half, his soulmate was nowhere, he was lost but now, she’s here and he’s going to make sure that they’re going to be alright.

“I miss you too and we’re going to be together in Perth when the season ends”

“How...?”

“I listened, all of you”

“Oh” Alice take his hand and go to their spots. She waved to the others and look around the room. 

“This room might explode somehow” she tries to joke, then all the reporters raised their hands to get the chance to hit questions, more to you than the others

The moderator in the room pointed out the first one.

“Good morning drivers. My question is for Alice, how are you? after your accident there was a lot of questions throw in the air ‘cause you almost disappear from everywhere, your team remain silent” You were looking down trying not to remenber that day

“Well, I’m here, I’m ok and happy to be back and thank you to all the people who where constantly sending support after the accident. It was terrible, I felt that way, I know that my team, my friends and family felt the same way but I decided to remain hidden, healing and getting in a better shape. I’m ready to go on track and do what I love”

“Alice, on summer break, Mclaren point you as the new driver for the 2023 season, any comments on that?”

“Excuse me, what?” I turned my head to Daniel and then to Max who nods “Well, It’s true that my contract with Williams is a subject that I don’t mention to much but if I changed my team, well, I will remain silent at the moment” I look at Daniel again and nod. Oh no

“Alice, can you tell us about...” the Williams driver sighs 

“Can you please ask questions to the boys? I don’t feel good talking only about me. A month ago, the team published a statement about that day and it’s pretty clear, I don’t want to talk about next year, I don’t want to talk about my personal life, I want to talk about my team, my car, expectetions for this weekend. So, please, I’m trying really hard to be kind and not be moody in fron of you. Thank you”

Safe to say, that the reporters were kind enough to do what you say.

After the conference, you talk a bit with the boys and go to grab lunch with Daniel and locked in your motorhome, hiding from the cameras.

“So...” you started grabing your fork to start eating “I know I have a lot to explain but I’m really sorry Dan. I don’t want anyone to see me that way and start feeling like crap”

“I would never judge you, you know that”

“I know, wanna talk about Mclaren?”

“Not really” he sighs “I’m happy that you’re the one whos taking my seat. It’s just that they decided from themselves” he look at me “Guess that I’m unemployed”

“Don’t say that, believe in miracles, I’m one now” He smiled at me and I returned “An as a living miracle, I want to thank you, everytime you visit I heard, I’m sorry for make you all sad, that day was a tricky one, but yeah”

“It’s ok, you’re here now, with me...I mean us”

“Dan...I’m with you and I don’t pretend to leave anytime soon, so...I must confess that I feel the same and want to make it worked, only if you let me of course”

Heard that makes Daniel goes as fast as Hamilton’s car, he wasn’t worry anymore, he is full of love and his face shows that. He cups Alice face and look at her with his brightest smile “I feel more happy than ever Al. If this is a shitty dream, I swear that I don’t want to wake up” Alice puts one hand on Daniel cheek and kissed him. This was the happiest moment for the drivers. The world could be in flames but now, they were embraced in each other arms, ready to fly high for their dreams, now they’re together and together they’re unstoppable.

“I’m so in love with you” 

“That makes two of us, Dan. I love you”

Maybe at the end, it becomes real

Enough for me, for us.

[ssereinopheliah]

Drabble - illecebrous

featuring: lando as an aspiring burlesque dancer, based off of his instagram post with the heart shapes on his tits.

————

lando has always jumped from one hobby to another. from his quote on quote “dj era” to his drummer era, it seemed like lando couldn’t stick to one thing.

now saying that, you would expect that lando would go for more traditional hobbies, things like his golf and padel. so, when oscar walks into lando’s hotel room at 11pm on a saturday night, to inform him of a strategy change, he wasn’t expecting to see Lando wearing nothing besides a white corset, a silk skirt, and sheer pearl lined gloves.

he looks like the worlds most indecent bride

oscar’s brain kindly pointed out as he stood in the hallways of the hotel room, doors agape.

lando, to his credit, didn’t freak out or anything. sighing, he walks towards oscar, shimmying behind him to close the door. the cool fabric of the silk skirt brushing against oscar’s inner thigh causes him to shiver and turn around.

meeting lando’s questioning gaze, oscar eyes dart down. his eyes drinking in the sight of lando’s tan skin contrasting the white of the corset. it looked wrong, tied too tightly around him, causing his skin to be irritated, turning red, highlighting his exposed collarbone. the silk skirt was short. running from his waist to mid tight.

oscar’s hands twitched slightly. He wanted to touch the skirt a little, to feel the softness compared to lando’s inner thigh. instead of doing that, he clears his throat, forcing himself to look lando straight in the eye.

lando sighs, stretching his lips into a thin line and smiled.

“I can explain?”

he tries to supply, pushing himself past oscar once again. this time his gloved hands catching onto oscar’s arm.

Oh geez he’s about to pass out.

the sheer gloves felt rough, and since it was so thin, it was easy for lando’s body heat to pass though, leaving oscar feeling like he was branded with lando’s touch.

lando sits down on his unkept bed, and signals for oscar to do the same.

flopping down, he sort of makes an awkward hand gesture, hands floundering about lando’s get up.

“well… here’s the thing, i wanted to try something new ya’know? and…i went to this club with a couple of my mates way back and this was something i saw. burr-burbles or something?”

“burlesque lando, I swear, you’ll be the only person who picked up a hobby without knowing the name of it.”

lando has the audacity to scrunch his nose at him.

oscar sighs, leading back onto the bed, watching as lando’s back move up and down steadily, the corset top rubbing deep red lines into his skin.

“the corset you’re wearing, it’s too tight”

“wut?”

“too tight!”

leaning back up, oscar runs a hand across seams of the corset, catching onto lando’s skin in the process.

lando shivers. feeling uncomfortable in the corset, he leans into oscar’s touch.

“Help a girl out then will ya?”

oscar nods, pushing himself forward to untangle the mess of ribbons that lando has seemingly gotten himself into. using his fingers, he pulls at the clumsily tied corsets, before wriggling his fingers about trying to remove each ribbon for the eyelets.

he’s like a inelegantly wrapped present.

oscar groans inwardly

my present

it takes a while for it to slide off, and by the time it does. the corset has already left a harsh red mark on lando’s back. oscar sighs again as he tries to layer the ribbons correctly this time for lando to wear again when lando turns around.

oscar short circuits. the reason: on lando’s chest, there were two heart shaped stickers stuck onto his tits. they were a dark red, matt, and didn’t do their job.

lando’s chest was clearly still irritated by the corset, pebbled, the stickers did nothing to conceal it.

oscar was two seconds away from passing out. his eyes flickering back and forth from lando’s chest to his eyes. his body feeling to warm all of a sudden.

lando, noticing the attention, grins, like a cat. pushing oscar’s chest lightly with a gloved hand, the younger man to fall back onto the bed with almost no resistance.

lando then slings one leg over oscar’s lap, settling comfortably over his thighs. crooning:

“How about a private show pretty boy? I promise that I’m really good”

oscar’s eyes widen,

shit. he’s trap.

[harrysrealbo]

Chapter 3

word count: 1138

cross posted on wattpad

warnings: badly translated french

4

"But it's not just any orange, Ames; it's papaya. You can't sit with McLaren and keep calling it orange." Lando scrunches his nose, taking in the look on my face. "And don't look at me like it doesn't matter; I swear it does. They're my papayas."

"Right, papaya," I say absentmindedly, my eyes wandering and drinking in every bit of my surroundings as we stand outside his driver's room. Lando's sticky fingers wrap around my wrist, pulling my attention to him. "You okay, Ames?"

I offer a small smile, trying to push away the swirl of conflicting emotions within me. "Yeah, just taking it all in. It's been a while."

Lando nods understandingly, "It's a lot, especially after staying away for so long. But you're doing great. Everyone's thrilled to have you back." Lando grins, giving my wrist a playful squeeze.

His words warm my heart, and I appreciate the reassurance. "Thanks, Lando. It means a lot."

He grins, ruffling my hair in a playful manner. "Now, let's get going. We've got a night to celebrate."

As Lando heads into the driver's room to freshen up, I decide to take a stroll through the paddock. The air is electric with the victory and the celebration that follows. Charles's win is a triumph for Ferrari, and I can't help but feel a sense of pride despite the complexities of our past.

Before I could drift too far into my thoughts, a familiar voice interrupted my reverie. "Amelia, how have you been?"

I turned to find Pierre Gasly, his easy smile and friendly demeanor a comforting presence. "Pierre, I was actually on the way to see Kika" I greeted him warmly, "I've been well, thank you. And congratulations on a great race."

He chuckled, running a hand through his hair. "It's been too long, you know? We've all missed you.."

I arched an eyebrow, intrigued by the hint in his words. "Missed me, huh? How could that be?"

Pierre smirked, a playful glint in his eyes. "The energy, the support—it's different when you're not around. Let's just say everyone seems to perform a little better with you here." There's an unspoken acknowledgment of Charles, a glance towards the Ferrari garage, and I can feel the weight of his presence even before I catch his eyes. 

Pierre caught his eye nodding a little as the monégasque man made his wat towards us , he offered an apologetic smile. "I'll grab Kika for you. Give you two some space."

“Oh you ass!” I curse shaking my head watching Pierre slip into the business of the paddock

"Amelia," Charles greets me, his voice carrying a mix of formality and an undercurrent of something more profound he nods “He is a bit of an ass eh?”

"Charles," I respond, nodding curtly “Probably a bigger ass than you in this moment, give me an hour and I’m sure my response won’t be the same.”

“Atleast I am a successful ass.” he tuts stepping closer to me 

"Congratulations," I offer, “Can’t help but to be proud of you for bringing the win home to Monaco. ‘M sure that your family is proud.”

His eyes hold a flicker of something more, a silent acknowledgment of the shared history that has shaped us. "Thank you, Amelia. It means a lot."

"You've been successful too," he remarked, his tone carrying a mix of admiration and nostalgia "Living in Italy, finishing your degree."

"How did you know?"

He shrugged, a casual gesture that didn't quite match the intensity in his eyes. "Lando told me."

"You've been keeping up with me through Lando?" A bitter smile tugged at my lips as I shook my head

He met my gaze, unflinching. "How else was I supposed to? You shut me out."

"You broke my heart, Charles," I said, the words slipping out with a raw honesty that hung in the air. "The only way I was getting over it was getting away from you."

The admission seemed to hang between us, the weight of our shared history pressing down on the present. Charles's jaw tensed, a silent acknowledgment of the pain we had both endured. The pain of that moment, the abrupt end to a ten-year relationship, had etched itself into my soul. He claimed he needed to focus on racing, that it was for the best - he got with my childhood bestfriend not even three months later. Sharing the apartment we shared, the bed we had bought together with the same girl whos mother was at my home with my family more often than I was. I waas devastated and I’d be lying if I said I was okay now. 

He nodded, the tension between us refusing to dissipate. "I just... I wanted to make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine," I replied, my tone sharper than intended. "I've been fine."

Charles reached out, attempting to pull me into a hug, but I instinctively stepped away. The unspoken tension crackled between us, a magnetic pull that defied logic. "Amelia," he murmured, his gaze searching mine for a sign of something he perhaps hoped was still there.

Before the silence could stretch into awkwardness, Pierre returned with Kika. "Found her!" he announced with a cheerful grin.

"Amelia!" Kika exclaimed, pulling me into a warm hug. "They were right! You are the good luck charm."

Charles watched the exchange, his brow furrowed. "Who is they?"

Kika hummed, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. "Well, you're the one that started it; everyone's just picked it up. Twitter is all over the place about our good luck charm." She laughed, kissing my cheek.

I chuckled, trying to dispel the notion. "I am not a good luck charm; it's just a coincidence."

Charles nodded softly, his gaze steady. "You'll come to the next one then? To show it's just a coincidence."

I glared at him. "I wasn't planning on it."

Lando wrapped his arms around my shoulders, his proximity drawing a sharp look from Charles. "It's the perfect excuse to come, Ames."

Charles's eyes bore into us, a visible annoyance flickering across his features as he watched the two of us. 

"Charles, why don't you join us? We're heading out," Pierre invited, his eyes moving from Lando and I to Charles.

"I think I'll have to take you up on that offer, mate. After all, the first win of the season, and it's my home race." He nodded, his eyes never straying from mine 

Lando grinned. "We'll see you at MK then, man."

I shook my head, feeling annoyed as I cut my eyes at Lando. Mumbling under my breath as I pulled away from the younger boy, "Des conneries, c'est juste des conneries," a mix of frustration and unspoken emotions lingered in the air as I separated from the group, finding solace in the car.

[fictionwordcounts]

Stuck [Han x Solo]

Word Count: 3000+

Summary: You knew you were looking for trouble when you accepted Han’s request for a quick flight, but you couldn’t have imagined a worse scenario than being stuck in the middle of nowhere with him. Still, the time you spend with him, forced or not, just might lead to something.

You hurried with a search-and-rescue team toward Hangar Five after receiving an urgent message from Han Solo. Since Han had specifically requested for you, they allowed you to lead the team. When you reached the door to Hangar Five, you typed in the code, the door opened, and you ran inside to see Han cleaning the outside of his ship, the Millennium Falcon. He looked up from the spot he was shining and smiled.

"Chewie, come out here! Our help has arrived," he announced as he put his rag away. The search and rescue team shifted behind you and you heard murmurs of disapproval.

Lando, who had insisted that he come along, walked to the front. "What's this about? We don't have time for your shenanigans, Han," he said with overtones of disapproval.

Han walked up to the group and put his hands up defensively. "I wouldn't exactly call them shenanigans, Lando," he said. "More like creative ways to get the help I need."

From your spectator's position, you rolled your eyes. Han was always pulling stunts like this, and it annoyed you to death. However, occasionally, there was something about him made you want to laugh. Of course, you never did. You felt it was against your character. There was some unspoken promise to yourself that you would not encourage Han Solo.

"General Solo," you began.

Han rolled his eyes. "Please, none of that 'General' junk," he pleaded, shaking his head, and offering you a mischievous smile. He stopped and performed an exaggerated a bow. "The name's Han Solo... or just Han if you like."

You stared at him unimpressed. "Yes, we've met, Han," you reminded him through gritted teeth. "We're here because you sent us a message saying that you were in danger."

"Whoa, wait. Hold on. I never said I was in danger," he insisted, never losing his smile. You would've told him off right there in front of everyone, but Lando beat you to it.

"Han, what did you call us here for?" Lando repeated. By then, most of the rescue patrol had become fed up with Han. They'd all either left or stuck around to see who would hit him first.

"Look, I didn't ask for a whole search and rescue gig," Han replied. "I asked," He took the rag back out of his pocket and pointed it at you, "for Y/N." He walked back to his ship and started wiping down the same spot.

Lando and the rest of the team walked away, muttering under their breaths, and you were about to follow suit.

"Y/N!" You heard Han call you from behind. Nearly everything in you told you to just walk away; but, be it the tone in his voice or the desire for the satisfaction of slapping him across the face, something made you turn around.

You folded your arms over your chest. "Do you need something?" you asked, exasperated.

Han nodded as if it was obvious. "Come on," he instructed. You hesitantly walked up to the Falcon. You stood there for a while and watched Han shine the same spot over and over again.

"I'm pretty sure that spot is clean now," you pointed out in monotone.

He stared at you. "What are you doing standing there?" he questioned.

Your arms dropped to your sides. "You called me over here, Han," you would've laughed if you weren't so annoyed. "Did you call me here for anything at all? Or were you so busy drooling over the Falcon that you forgot?"

He laughed and your traitorous heart skipped a beat. You scolded yourself inwardly. You were supposed to hate him, but on rare occasions like these it seemed impossible. "Calm down," he instructed. He walked under the Falcon and started up the ramp. He stopped, turned around, and held out his hand. "I'll show you."

You sighed and pushed his hand away. "I know how to walk up a ramp." You walked ahead of Han and into the Falcon. He smiled and followed you in. You wandered around, Han following close behind. "You brought me in here to see this piece of junk?" you asked, only halfway joking.

"The Falcon is the fastest ship in the galaxy." Han bragged defensively. "That is if the hyperdrive is working... Chewie!" You heard a growling in the distance. "Waddya you mean it's not fixed yet?" Han repeated. He started to jog off to help Chewbacca but turned back to you. "Just don't touch anything," he ordered before going off to help Chewbacca.

You navigated the halls aimlessly until you found what looked like the control room. You ran a hand over the controls, disregarding Han's insisting that you not touch anything. Han irritated you endlessly, and there had to be a way to repay the favor. You knew how much Han loved the Falcon and it gave you an idea. You turned around and walked to Han, who was on his knees, bent over a bunch of wires.

"Hey, Han," you began, your plot fully formed in your mind.

He continued to stare down at the twisted wires with a vengeance, but he nodded in brief acknowledgement.

"I'm just going to try pushing a few buttons in the control room," you casually announced. "I hope that's ok."

"Yeah, uh-huh," he agreed absently.

You sucked in a breath to keep yourself from laughing. "Ok, thanks!" you managed.

"Gahhhhh!" Chewbacca warned Han. You put your finger to your lips to silence Chewie and ran off to the control room. The panicked Chewbacca remained by Han, trying to get his attention, eventually resorting to punching him in the arm.

"Ow! What was that for? I'm working on it!" Han said angrily.

"Grahhhh!" Chewbacca explained.

Han dropped the wires and jumped to his feet. "She what?" he yelled and ran after you. He burst into the control room and looked around anxiously. You had your back to the side of the door and watched him turn the seats around hoping to find you in one of them.

"The Falcon didn't ask for a whole search-and-rescue gig, Han," you said smirking.

He spun around and pointed the bizarrely-shaped tool he had in his hand at you. "You can't go pushing buttons on my ship whenever you feel like it," he practically screamed, his face turning beet red.

"Never fear, darling, I didn't press a button on your precious ship," you promised. "Though even if I did, I happen to recall that you said I could."

"I never said anything like that!" he insisted.

You were barely refraining from doubling over laughing, and Han could tell. His face returned to its normal color. "Oh, you think this is funny, huh?" he questioned.

At that moment, Chewbacca walked into the control room, announcing that the hyperdrive was fixed. Han smiled. "Buckle up, sweetheart," he instructed.

It took you a moment to process what was going on, but once you understood, you were thrown into a confusing mix of emotions. On one hand, you had no intention of allowing Han Solo—a reckless pilot and a scoundrel—to fly you anywhere in the Millennium Falcon—the oldest and junkiest ship in the galaxy. But on the other hand, you were intrigued and excited at the prospect of an adventure with Han Solo—a reckless pilot and a scoundrel. You decided to let curiosity kill the cat and burn bridges when you came to them. You took a seat and strapped yourself in. "Where are we going?" you inquired.

Han looked at you, turned to Chewbacca, and smiled. The ship lurched and the main door to Hanger Five opened. The Falcon headed through the opening and started flying surprisingly steadily.

You had always liked flying but you were sort of on edge about riding in the run down piece of scrap metal Han called a ship. You watched Han push buttons and flick switches with a cocky smirk all the while. Chewbacca leaned over to Han and grumbled something inaudible. Han whispered back while you strained to hear what they were saying. All you got was a snippet about malfunctioning and Han undoubtedly lying about it being ok.

"When you're ready, Chewie," Han allowed. There was a flash of light and suddenly you were in hyperspace. In your experience, hyperspace usually meant kicking back for some smooth sailing; but on this particular piece of garbage, it felt shaky and uncontrolled. You wondered how long it would be before the ship came to a stop. Light speed, of course, was supposed to be quick as a wink, but this seemed a lot longer than a wink.

A red light started to flash on the control panel in front of Han. The Falcon was definitely shaking uncontrollably now, and presumably not just because it was an old ship. There was a loud crashing noise and the Falcon stopped dead. Everything in the Falcon turned off suddenly and thankfully flickered back on.

You sat there gripping the seat tightly mouth agape. "You're dead," you announced with conviction. Han turned around to look at you, and then hopped out of his seat.

"Not yet, I'm not!" He yelled behind him as he ran toward the hyperdrive he was fixing earlier. You turned to Chewbacca who was ready to follow him.

"I'll have something to say about that," you muttered to him.

"Arghhhhh," Chewbacca snapped angrily. He brushed past you nervously, and you followed him.

"Well I have a reason to be angry at him!" you insisted. "First, he drags me into his ship without even telling me where he's going, then goes into hyperspace knowing the hyperdrive was malfunctioning, and now we're stranded in the middle of nowhe---" Chewbacca stopped abruptly causing you to run into him.

"Alright, no need to get worked up," you heard Han say.

You scoffed. "No need to get worked up? You didn't do anything about that hyperdrive, and now I'm paying the price!" you lamented. Han handed the tools off to Chewbacca, stood up, and brushed himself off.

"You think I wanted this to happen?" he asked.

"Considering how much trouble you get into, I'm beginning to wonder!" you hollered at him.

Behind Han, Chewbacca grunted. Han spun on his heel to glare at the Wookiee. "Whose side are you on, Fuzzball?" he questioned.

"Han, where were you even planning on taking me?" you asked through your teeth.

"Well I was going to take you to Corellia, but now I'm thinking about taking you to Hoth and leaving you there!" He brushed past you and sulked back into the control room.

You threw a pleading look at Chewbacca, but he just shrugged and got back to work. You offered to help, but Chewie didn't seem to want any—not from you anyway.

Having nothing else to do, you began to wander back to the control room. You told yourself over and over again that you weren't going there to see Han. Though, every time you told yourself that, it seemed less true.

You leaned against the frame of the door, watching as Han flicked switches in frustration. You began to suggest, "Have you tried contacting—"

"Yes!" He interrupted. "For some wonderful reason the com is down, and it looks like it's gonna be for a while."

"How long is a while?" you asked.

He turned to you ready to snap again, but after a moment of looking straight into your eyes, his face softened. He took a deep breath and silently walked back to Chewbacca. He whispered something you didn't catch. The Wookie growled softly, though you weren't very good at Shyriiwook, the Wookiee language, anyway.

Han turned back to you. "It shouldn't be that long, but we need to get the hyperdrive working," he explained.

"What's wrong with it?" you asked. Chewbacca made a noise that seemed to be a laugh. You looked at Han. He fidgeted and looked everywhere but your eyes. You realized that not only did Han have no idea what was wrong with the Falcon, but he was unprepared to fix it if he did. You glared at him.

"Settle down this will be over before you know it." He said.

"And if it isn't, I'm making a magic carpet out of Wookiee fur, and flying off of this junkyard."

You sat there for hours occasionally getting up to test communications. You figured that this must happen a lot in a ship like the Falcon. But the more you looked over at Han, the more clueless he seemed. It was hard to read expression on Chewbacca's face, but you could tell it wasn't any better on his end.

You got up once more to try to make contact with anyone at all. There was nothing but static. You went back to report to Han. Going back and forth between the cockpit, and where Chewie and Han worked was all you could really do. You didn't have any mechanical skills, so helping Han was out of the question. Han slammed his hand against the hyperdrive, making you jump.

"I can't fix it!" He yelled at no one. "This piece is entirely ruined!" You gave up any small hope you had that Han could get you out of this. Chewbacca growled in agreement. You planted your face in your hands and didn't want to look up until you were out of this mess.

You and Chewbacca spent a good portion of time playing Dejarik. The Wookiee wasn't very good, but Han explained he didn't like losing. You would rather let him win anyway. The game wasn't very entertaining, and it got tedious when Chewbacca kept challenging you round after round.

"Agghhhhrrgh" Chewie challenged once more. You noticed Han trying not to laugh out of the corner of your eye. You stood up and gestured to the seat.

"Your turn," you told him. Han leaned back in his chair.

"You're doing just fine," he said. "Maybe next time, if you don't use the lowest ranked character, you just might win." You walked over to him, pulled him out of his seat, and set him down in front of Chewie.

"Show me," you commanded. He obviously regretted commenting and reluctantly played Chewbacca. Though the game was boring to play, it was even worse watching it. The only thing that kept you looking was Han struggling to beat Chewie. Chewbacca had actually gotten better since you started playing him. That, unfortunately, only told you that you've been playing for far too long. You started walking in circles to get the blood flowing in your legs again. Han had lost the game and turned it off.

"You'll hurt your brain playing for too long." He told Chewie, who was growling in frustration. Han held up his hand for everyone to be quiet. There was a faint beeping noise off in the distance. You, Han, and Chewbacca started running towards the noise.

"Harrrghhh" Chewie said. You knew that had mentioned "hyperdrive", but you didn't understand the rest.

"I know, Chewie, but it shouldn't be." He picked up a pile of wires and studied them. Out of nowhere they sparked and Han jumped back. He noticed that the sparks had caught on to the withered hyperdrive manual Han had been reading. Han tried to quickly grab the papers but they set fire.

"Garrghhhhh!" Chewbacca howled.

"You didn't fix that?" Han shouted back. The Wookie shook his head. You grabbed Han's shoulder and turned him toward you.

"What didn't you fix?" You asked him. Han turned back toward the fire, started stomping it out.

"It wasn't my job to fix it!" Before the flames died away completely there was a loud noise. You figured it was some sort of smoke detector. Then immediately after the sound, water started pouring everywhere around you, Han, and poor Chewbacca.

You stood still as the cold water ran down your hair and onto your back making you shiver. This is why you didn't "hang out" with Han. Whenever you were around him, something had to go wrong. Han took one look at your face and started laughing. You turned to look at Han. He was being as childish as ever, something about that made you want to laugh. You trudged over to him and give him a push. He slipped and fell on his back. You and Chewbacca laughed until Han came to his senses. He stood up with a hilarious look of shock on his face.

"I guess I deserved that." He predicted. You nodded, and Chewbacca growled his agreement. "I wasn't asking you, you overgrown hairball." Chewie smiled causing Han to smile. The water had stopped now and you realized how soaked you were. You shivered and leaned over to Chewbacca

"How to you deal with him?" You playfully asked him. He shrugged in response.

"Come one, I'm a nice guy." Han said defensively. You and Chewbacca exchanged a glance, and the Wookiee went to dry off. You looked over at Han. He looked just as cold as you were. "Let's go see what we can salvage." He said walking toward the Dejarik table. There were a few papers on the table that were past saving. You gathered them up in shreds and threw them away. When you came back, Han was fussing over a control board.

"It still works right?" You asked Han. He turned to you.

"It should still work, but if Chewie had just fixed the sprinklers then I wouldn't have to worry about it at all." He said grudgingly.

"I don't get what was wrong with it," you said. "There was smoke and the smoke detector found out."

Han walked toward you, and turned around to see the water everywhere. "It's supposed to know where the fire is exactly and only spray there, but it malfunctioned a while ago." He clarified. "Come on. Let's go check the other rooms." You nodded and turned to go right when Han turned to go left. You ran into each other and almost fell over. Han recovered first and grabbed your hand. When he pulled you up you weren't expecting it and you ran into him again. This time he held on to you. You stared at him for a while captivated by his brown eyes. You looked down and backed up.

"Sorry." You said fidgeting. You didn't want to look up because you knew that no matter how hard you tried not to, you were falling for Han. He was the galaxy's biggest pain in the neck but there was the way he went about it that you thought about. He was confident in his decisions- including the stupid ones-. No, that didn't make him any less annoying either, but it helped. You had misjudged him, and ignored him. He still was not great at the responsibility thing though.

"How about I go right?" he decided. You agreed and walked away smiling. You couldn't seem to get Han out of your mind. You cleaned up anything that was spoiled then met Han back in the cockpit. It was quiet except for the controls beeping every now and again. You were tired from all the stress so you sat down on the ground. Han chose to join you when he had dried most everything off.

"What a day," you sighed.

"No kidding," Han replied. "I'll never get this place dry again."

You looked at him and for once you didn't mind if you were there forever. He started leaning toward you. Your heart was beating out of your chest. Your noses were touching when you heard static from the controls. You both jerked away from each other to better focus on the incoming transmission. It cleared up and you recognized Lando's voice.

"It's about time!" Han said standing up, then helped you to your feet. Chewbacca walked in the room with matted, slightly dry, fur. You had forgotten that he was there on the Flacon with you.

"Are you ok? You tried to contact us," Lando said.

Han rolled his eyes. "Our communications were down. I think I got half a message through before it went out though," He guessed.

Lando confirmed that had happened and sent the search-and-rescue team for a real rescue this time. After Han was done telling Lando all the necessary details, Chewbacca gave us both towels to dry off on.

"That was perfect timing." You joked.

"Lando's good like that." He said. He bent down and kissed you ignoring the questioning growls from Chewie. His lips were still cold from the water but you didn't object. It seemed impossible that this would have happened. But then again, Han had never really understood impossible.

[someone-worth-racing-for]

Me after seeing lando vs uno, now we can get uno and pinon as match makers in carlando fanfics, them getting tangled into each other because pinon and uno run around and tie them together with their leash,, god the fanfic potential, it's god tier, seriously though i wanna be with lando just to hang out with uno

I just had to because this thought was so cute! 🥺😍❤️

You can read the story on AO3 or here below..

Who needs a wingman, when you can have Uno and Pinon?

Since the first time Lando had seen this masterpiece of a Spanish man a few weeks ago, he couldn’t stop his heart to beat all strongly in excitement against his rips, whenever he entered the park. Of course, he had also already enjoyed it before to spend some time with his dog Uno together, to get outside into the nature, inhale some fresh air and forget about all the things he still had to do for the university.

It was really a nice and beneficial distraction for him and he also had no excuses any more to not get outside, no matter how the weather was. Uno just had to get outside at least three times every day. They always went for a run in the morning, got into the park after he had come home from the university and in the later afternoon they always went for a short stroll.

And since Lando had spotted that one very handsome, Latin man, he also didn’t bother about it any more, when it was raining outside, all cold and stormy, as long as he was able to see him again, even when it was sometimes only for a few minutes.

The man took his own dog for a walk into the park, he only always saw him there. Sometimes the Spaniard was sitting all alone on a bench, stroking his dog behind its ear sitting next to his feet and if Lando was serious, he had already played with the thought more than just once to join him there, but in then he had always been way too shy. He would only embarrass himself in the end anyway with not knowing how to start a conversation and even if he had been able to open his mouth, about what should he talk to someone like this Spanish god?

So Lando stayed right where he was and watched the stranger hopefully all unnoticed from a safe distance. He watched him, while he was playing with his dog, when he did throw some small stick for his dog just to praise him, when he brought it back to its owner. Sometimes the young Brit even followed him through the park as long as it was safe to not get noticed.

Lando just liked to watch this beauty of a man as long as possible and sometimes also only from the corner of his eyes, while he was playing with Uno, but it was always enough to make his heart flutter. His whole body was tingling in excitement, whenever he asked himself about what the stranger’s name might be, how his face had to look from near, how his eyes will light up when he was smiling, how he did smell.

Yeah, that handsome man was really every day the highlight of his walk into the park, when not even of his whole day, until over already one week ago. The stranger was suddenly gone from one day to the other. Maybe it did sound wrong, because actually Lando didn’t know him or anything about him at all, but he kind of got worried about that something might have happened to him.

Lando stayed longer than usual in the park on the days the Spaniard was missing. He also walked at least three times through the whole park to make sure the man hadn’t found a new favourite place or maybe a new route for his walk. Maybe he had finally noticed Lando watching him and he got uncomfortable about it and didn’t come to here any more because of him.

But over one week later, the young Brit’s face lighted up instantly and his lips formed a wide smile, when he finally spotted the handsome man again next to a tree, while he played with his dog. “Uno, look. There he is finally again.” Lando whispered into his dog’s ear, when he got down onto his knees right next to him and stroked through his fluffy fur.

Like already so often, Lando watched the stranger from the corner of his eyes and maybe he was only imagine it, but the man looked even more tanned under the spring sun today. His skin almost looked like sweet, delicious caramel and somehow also his smile was even more gorgeous than it had been before. How was this even possible, he asked himself with lightly parted lips, overwhelmed about his beauty once again.

But then, he didn’t know himself how this could happen, the man was suddenly gone and he hadn’t seen where he did go. A little disappointed, because he wasn’t able to watch him longer than he would have liked to today, while the man was looking that good and after not being able to see him for so long, Lando kept on playing with his dog in the meadow for some more, before he put on Uno’s leash and they made their way back home.

They had almost made it outside the park, when suddenly around a corner the handsome man and his dog came straight into their direction. Lando had to swallow hard and for one quick moment he had really played with the thought to turn around and go another way or hide behind some bushes, but then he got it that this was his chance.

Maybe not his chance to talk to the man, not even mention to start a conversation, but maybe his chance to see him from near at least for once, even when it will only be for a brief moment, and maybe also to say a small, shy hey into his direction. So Lando took that chance, breathed deep through once again and hoped for the best, at least to not embarrass himself like usual.

His hands were shaking and he looked up to the man through his lashes now and then, but also didn’t take his eyes away from the ground to not fall over some root, stone or anything like that. But because his whole focus was on the man coming closer and closer and to not embarrass himself for once at least, Lando hadn’t noticed that Uno obviously had other plans, when he began to walk faster and faster right into the direction of the handsome man’s dog and so his leash got longer and longer with it.

The closer the man came the more Lando’s eyes stayed on him, he just couldn’t look away from him any more. He was so damn gorgeous, it wasn’t fair, he should actually get arrested to look that good and steel his sleep for already so often, because Lando had to think about him the whole night long.

He knew it, he just knew it that the stranger did look even more handsome from near than he already did from far away, of course he did. First Lando had only looked at the man all shyly through his lashes, not wanting to get caught, but still enough to check him out unnoticed.

But then he had wanted too much and the man caught him staring just when he had noticed how beautiful shaped his lips were. Lando only got it being caught, when the Spaniard’s full lips formed a smile. When he finally looked back up into his pretty eyes, he got it that this smile was for him.

Even without wanting it, his cheeks began to blush instantly, while he gifted him an insecure smile back. Just knowing that these beautiful eyes were fixed on him at the moment, caused a shiver running down Lando’s spine and his heart skipped a beat.

Ashamed about getting caught, he quickly looked away and tried to give his whole attention back to his dog, but just at that moment it happened. Before Lando could prevent Uno from it, he reached the stranger’s dog and the two of them got a little too excited about meeting each other for the first time.

They sniffed happily at each other with the result to just get even more nervous about the other's presence and before one of their owners could do anything against it, they did run around in circles and did so tie their leashes together into a big mess.

Oh no, Lando thought to himself. When it wasn't on himself, his dog had to embarrass him, of course Uno had to, it was his dog and at least as clumsy as Lando himself. He and the stranger reached their dogs at the same time and tried to handle the mess with somehow getting them apart.

“Uno, stop that. You only make an even bigger mess.” Lando tried to stop his dog, but in the end it was he himself, who stopped his whole movements, when he could hear the stranger’s voice for the first time, when he pleaded his dog to stop as well.

The man really tried to handle it, to unravel his dog’s lash with Uno’s, but in the end he gave up and only started to laugh about their overjoyed behaviour. Lando was still only frozen and tried to make the best out of the situation with taking advantage of it, while looking at the handsome man from near as long as he was still able to.

The younger one still did so, when the stranger finally straightened himself and their eyes meet. Now that gorgeous smile was once again only meant for Lando, while they looked right into each other’s eyes for the first time.

Hazelnut, with some sparkles of a golden summer and framed from thick, long lashes. Of course. Lando began to melt instantly under his gaze, under those marvellous eyes and he suddenly had forgotten about how to speak properly. But luckily the man opposite him didn’t seem to be speechless and that overwhelmed, when he said with that thick, Spanish accent of his

“I guess we have to wait then, till they are finished.” He was still smiling all brightly, it also reached his eyes, which were shining as well on this warm afternoon. Lando could only nod in response, still unable to form any words.

So they both watched their dogs in amusement, while they looked at each other from the corner of their eyes from time to time. Their dog’s silly and at the same time cute behaviour finally also caused Lando to relax again, before he began to giggle heartily, which got the Spaniard’s whole attention.

Now it was him, who couldn’t take his eyes away from the younger one any more. He had never heard someone laugh so adorable and sweet and the smile he had on his lips was cheeky but also so beautiful at the same time.

And even when it was Lando, who caught the man staring this time, his cheeks still began to blush instantly, just thinking about that those stunning eyes were on him and from the still present smile on his lips the man obviously adored what he had seen.

“They seem to really like each other.” The younger one finally pointed out, before the stranger’s dog so obviously also got his presence and came over to him as well. Lando stroked the dog behind its ear and greeted him all sweetly with going down on his knees to shake his paw.

“His name is Pinon.” The man introduced his dog, while he also got closer to Uno to greet him as well. “Hey, Pinon. Nice to meet you.” Lando talked to the dog, before his attention got to the man next to him, stroking his own dog at his favourite spot behind its ear.

“Hola, little one.” Lando just had to smile, because of the handsome stranger’s accent and the cute way he talked to his dog, causing so goose bumps on his arms. “His name is Uno. Uno, the clumsy one would fit better.”

The Spaniard giggled and Lando just couldn’t believe it, that it was him who had caused that sweet sound from him and managed it to make him smile this breath-taking way. He then took his whole courage together, when he added once again a little more shyly “And I’m Lando, by the way.”

With his charming, dark brown fawn eyes the man looked up at him and almost caused his heart to stop working completely by that view. Quickly he finally straightened himself again, before he offered Lando his hand and told him “I’m Carlos, it’s really nice to meet you and your dog, Lando.”

Carlos. Now he finally knew the name from the man of his dreams. “It’s also really nice to meet the two of you.” The young Brit answered sincerely, while his whole body felt like it was on fire, while shaking hands with stunning Carlos.

The electricity rushing through his body had caused Lando to frozen again and the body contact had also caused his cheeks to blush lightly once more. Carlos had probably got his discomfort, because he quickly ended the silence, when he asked “You take Uno often for a walk to here, right? I mean, I have already seen the two of you a few times.”

Lando needed to swallow hard after hearing so, because obviously Carlos had already noticed him before. Him, Lando, the clumsy, young man who still hadn’t managed it to reach puberty. It gave him chills, just thinking about that the Spaniard’s eyes were on him already at some point before.

But why? Maybe because he had once again been all awkward and had so got his attention. Hopefully it wasn’t something too embarrassing, Lando prayed to himself. Because why should some as gorgeous and perfect like Carlos fix his eyes more than just three seconds on someone like him?

“Yeah, Uno and me come to here every day after I have got home from the university.” Lando explained to which Carlos nodded his head in understanding. And somehow the upcoming silence caused the younger one to panic, when he quickly added “I have noticed the two of you also come to here pretty often. Except from the last few days, you were suddenly gone.”

Best Lando wanted to facepalm himself right in front of the older one for his thoughtless statement, because now Carlos knew he had been watching him for already a longer time and he had even noticed him being not here in the last week. This was really stupid and so embarrassing, even for Lando.

But Carlos didn’t seem to bother about his attention towards his presence. He wasn’t worried about it or thought it was strange, it once again only brought a smile on his full lips, like it wasn’t a strange thing at all.

But still Lando added once again and he really had to learn to keep his mouth shut, even when the silence will become uncomfortable “At least Uno told me so.” Carlos began to laugh about his cute but unsuccessful try to blame his own dog about it.

Lando bit down onto his lip to pretend himself from laughing out loud about his own dumbness. “I see Uno is a pretty good observer.” Carlos winked down at the younger one, exactly knowing the truth even without Lando ever telling him so.

The man reached out for Uno then to stroke through his fur, before he finally went on. “Yeah, I have visited my parents in Spain last week.” That explained his delicious looking, tanned skin, Lando thought to himself.

Understanding he nodded his head, but this time he had learnt from his mistakes and kept his mouth shut and preventing himself so to get into an uncomfortable situation once again. Both of their attentions got back to their dogs, who really seem to come along pretty well.

“What do you think about the idea to first manage to unravel this mess of leashes, before we will take ourselves some coffee and let the two of them play in the meadow for some more?” The Spaniard suggested and for one brief moment Lando really thought he was in one of his dreams.

Quickly he nodded wildly agreeing his head, not thinking for one second about the whole work he still had to do today. Spending time with this charming, good-looking man was way more enjoyable and important for him than the whole stuff for the university together. “I would really like to.” Lando agreed now also vocal to the Spaniard’s suggestion and he couldn’t hold back the big, wide grin on his lips any more.  

But obviously not only Lando liked that idea, because suddenly also Pinon and Uno agreed to it, when they began to bark and ran all excited circles around them, causing so their leashes to tie around their owners legs and getting so tangled to each other.

Unwanted Lando and Carlos got closer and closer to each other and when the younger one began to sway because the leashes around his legs became even tighter and he actually wanted to prevent himself to get even closer to the Spaniard than he already was, Carlos saved him from falling just in time, when he caught him.

In the next second the young Brit found himself in the safety of the strong and obviously also pretty trained arms of the older one, looking up at him with blushed cheeks, while his palms did rest against his broad chest.

Yeah, Lando had always dreamed about being close to him, but he had never expected or even dared to dream about to get that close to Carlos, to be able to inhale his scent, to feel his warmth, his breath against his skin, to be even able to count the little freckles on his nose.

They were still looking deep into each other eyes, when their dogs suddenly began to bark in triumph next to them and brought them so back to life. Also Lando and Carlos finally began to giggle about their helpless situation, before they somehow manage it to unravel the leashes around their legs.

Carlos could free himself first, before he helped Lando and whenever their fingertips touched lightly each other skin, it sent a new wave of electricity through Lando’s whole body and caused him to shiver and feeling all warm at the same time.

When they were on their way to the next Subway, Uno looked back at his owner and Lando really thought his dog was smiling at him. Uno was the only one who knew about his big crush towards the handsome Spaniard from the park and now it was thanks to him, that they were on their way to get themselves some coffee and spend the rest of the afternoon together.

Maybe Uno was as clumsy as Lando sometimes, but he was at least braver than his owner. The young Brit could only smile about the thought, that it was maybe really his dog’s intention to make Carlos cross his way. Lando did really owe Uno some treats.

[authorbarbie]

Miracle

Summary: The battle of Exegol is raging on when a horrible feeling of Poe being in danger grips your heart. It’s time to find out if the Force really is always with you.

Your legs burned as you ran alongside Finn, Rose and Jannah, lightsaber in hand as you fought to keep your edge in the battle. Being unable to reach and help Rey down below, who had shown the rebels exactly how to reach the mysterious planet of Exegol, you instead used your bright blade to block blast after blast, taking comfort in the familiar hum it emitted as it cut through the hulls of enemy ships.

During a pivotal moment in the fight, sudden large bolts of lightning had come from below, frying circuits and jamming signals. All around the skirmish, the surrounding ships and freighters were experiencing the same malfunction.

Palpatine.

Within seconds, the Resistance fleet began to fail, pilots frantically flicking switches and pressing buttons in desperate attempts to regain control of their birds. Ships Poe recognised as belonging to his fellow comrades began to fall out of the sky and his own X-Wing was quick to follow behind.

With the stakes getting higher and the initial goal for the ground team of knocking out the navigation tower complete, Rose and Kaydel had quickly begun to retreat (as had several others). But with the command ship still in play and rebooting their systems, Finn couldn’t, in good conscience, follow them. And if Finn wasn’t going… then neither were you.

“What are you doing?” Finn asked as you jogged back to him after urging the girls to leave.

“You think I’m letting you do this by yourselves?” you gestured towards Jannah, who stood a little behind Finn.

“Are all Jedi this self-sacrificing?” Finn joked, though you could see the gratefulness in his eyes.

“I don’t know,” you swung your lightsaber casually, attempting a little light-heartedness amidst the terror. “After you become one, you can tell me.”

Finn’s eyes widened partially, not expecting such a comment. You were the first person he had told about being sensitive to the Force (after you admitted to having had your suspicions for a while now) but the idea of actually becoming a Jedi… It was something Finn never would’ve thought of in his wildest dreams. “Act now, talk later,” he eventually decided and you weren’t about to argue.

However, before you could take more than a few steps to follow them, something stirred inside you and locked your limbs in place.

It was different than the subtle, underlying anxiety you had been feeling since arriving on Exegol.

It was different than the anger you had once felt during your last duel with Kylo Ren.

Because this time, you weren’t fearing for your own life.

This was about…

“Poe,” you said softly, brows furrowing. Frantically, you began to search the skies for a sign of him.

Flames licked the sides of the familiar T-70 starfighter, smoke billowing outwards in dark, thick plumes as it streaked across the sky.

“Artoo, my systems are failing,” Poe told the droid desperately as the screens inside the cockpit began to fail. R2-D2 squealed in panic. “Can anyone hear me?” he called desperately into his comm as his X-Wing shuddered and rocked beneath him. His head jerked forward at the sudden motion, hitting the dash and causing an immediate throbbing to radiate from his skull.

Another starfighter passed by, crimson flames surrounding it as it flew straight into the wing of Poe’s. “Always knew I’d meet my end while flying,” he chuckled darkly, tasted blood in his mouth.

As the pungent smoke from the engine began to filter inside, making Poe’s nose scrunch in disgust, he was doing all he could to quell the growing panic in his chest.

He was well aware that each time he sat in his cockpit, he was taking his life in his hands. He enjoyed the thrill of it all, enjoyed using the adrenaline that came with flying to keep his mind on target and his movements sharp.

But this… He knew it was something he would need a miracle to survive.

It would seem there’s something about imminent danger that causes you to think about your life; to look back and analyse it— the good moments and the bad. The moments that shaped you, the people that made it all worthwhile.

As Poe’s ship grew closer and closer to colliding with the First Order command ship that lay beneath, his thoughts went to you.

You, who had come into his life like a beam of light in the darkness, challenging him at every turn. You, who trusted him with your life, letting him see each and every atom of your being and allowing him to show you his. You, who he loved, who he fought for. You, who was now giving him comfort in his final moments without even knowing it.

Exhaling a shaky breath, Poe tried his comm system again. “Sweetheart? You out there?”

Despite knowing they would be no answer, not being able to hear your voice just one last time before the end made his throat tighten and the back of his eyes sting. His eyes fluttered shut, preparing for impact as he apologised to everyone he had let down by leading them into a war that they were about to lose.

Leia. Finn. Rey.

BB-8. Rose. Kaydel.

Snap. Karé. Jessika.

You.

He held onto the image of you, keeping it at the forefront of his mind, even as everything went black.

●  ●  ●

If Poe had been clear headed before, he would’ve noticed how his free-falling descent through the skies had begun to slow somehow as the wing was ripped unceremoniously from his beloved ship and his body began to bruise and bleed.

He would’ve noticed how this mysterious miracle is what saved his life, for if he had hit the command ship at the initial speed and velocity he had been falling at, his chances of making it out alive were non-existent.

He would’ve noticed the panicked girl on top of that First Order command ship, eyes closed and hand outstretched as she focused harder than she ever had before — even during her Jedi trials — to make sure that he was safe.

He wouldn’t be questioning how said girl was now crouching over him inside the Millennium Falcon with wide, frantic eyes, mouth moving at a speed he couldn’t keep up with (not that he could even hear much with the ringing in his ears).

“Am… I—”

“You’re okay,” you shushed him gently, your hands on either side of his face. “I tried to stop your ship but I couldn’t, not completely.”

Poe’s brows began to furrow but the pull at his muscles made him wince in pain. It seemed every part of him was hurting somehow, from small scratches and scrapes to a twisted ankle, to a large, bleeding wound along his torso.

“It’s over, baby. Lando and Chewie are bringing us home,” you spoke softly, comfortingly, your fingers delicately brushing his curls out of the blood that ran down his face. “Help came. Palpatine and Ren are dead, and Rey made it out. We won.”

“We won?” Poe managed a whisper, the corners of his lips twitching minutely.

“Yeah,” you smiled in response, blinking rapidly to rid yourself of the tears that began to form in your eyes. “All thanks to you, General.”

Poe chuckled, though it sounded like more of a rattling in his chest than an actual laugh. The sound, coupled with Poe’s rapidly paling skin, terrified you. You turned your head to make eye contact with Finn, who was hovering nearby with BB-8, a worried look on his face. You knew you needed to act quickly.

“Hey, flyboy,” you said, hoping your voice sounded more confident than you really were. “You trust me?”

Through his hazy mind, Poe managed to look almost offended at the question. “You know I do.”

You nodded, fully aware that Poe believed in you more than anyone, and shifted your position, one hand cradling the back of his head while the other pressed against his bloody torso, uncaring of the dark liquid that was quick to cover your palm. Poe’s hand instinctively moved to rest over your own.

“I’ve got you,” you whispered, forehead pressed to his own and eyes closing in concentration.

For the second time that day, you allowed yourself a moment of silence, reaching out to the Force for the help you so desperately needed once more.

You weren’t unfamiliar with Force healing. Hell, you’d used it once or twice in the past to help some wounded creatures you had come across on missions, and Rey had even used it mere hours ago back on Pasaana. But this was the first time you were attempting it on another person — the most important person at that — and all you could do was pray to the Maker that it would work.

As you poured as much of your life force as necessary into Poe, the wound that ran along his chest and stomach began to close up, the flow of blood that dripped coming to a slow trickle before stopping altogether. His ankle began to stop throbbing, the ringing in his ears stopped, and even the pain in his head slowly dissipated.

Only once you were satisfied did you allow your eyes to re-open, gazing down at the man beneath you who stared in awe— though that look on his face wasn’t uncommon when it came to you

You took a few deep breaths, feeling the toll from your actions but not regretting them for a second. Force healing came at the expenditure of your own life, but you would die a thousand times over if it meant he got to live.

Poe slowly pulled himself into a sitting position, testing his body as he moved and feeling immense relief at the lack of pain that came with it. Now, it was his hands that cradled you. “You shouldn’t have done that,” he said quietly, disbelief coating his words.

“We won,” you repeated, gripping onto his torn flightsuit. “But if I’d lost you… A galaxy without Poe Dameron just isn’t worth living in.”

This time, Poe did laugh. It was a mixture of relief and shock and love. It was the kind of genuine, warm laugh you were so used to getting from him, and your heart lifted at the noise.

He was okay.

“Like I could ever leave my best girl behind,” he said before he brought his lips to meet yours.

Poe knew he would need a miracle to be saved.

And that miracle came in the form of you.

[msfangirlgonewild]

Prescence (post-TROS fanfiction/Post Canon)

Before I’m posting on Archives, this is my first DamereyDaily2020 during pandemic week, and this is the second after Healing or ‘possibly the third’ series of ‘It's Like Poetry, Sort Of. They Rhymes.’

Pairing: Poe Dameron/Rey Skywalker

Word count: 4,650

Prompt: ’Two hearts and one home.’ Plus a bonus from late March ‘If You Lived to Be A Hundred’

Summary: Three months later...Poe had faith that his dauntless ally, his best friend, his ray of sunshine, his beloved Jedi...had returned for him.

Once the Death Star’s latest target and the site of the Rebel base during the final battle. Yavin 4 was a vast and most affluent planet of the Outer Rim Territories, and its large and sprawling tropical jungles teemed with an abundance of exotic beauty.

Following a long hyperspeed, T-70 X-wing Black One had reached Yavin 4. Similar to Ajan Kloss, this tropical moon planet was where Poe Dameron was born. He was glad, relieved to have finally returned from Coruscant and the third meeting of the Galactic Senate’s restoration.

Poe thought about the peace that had ensued after the war, and the friends that he had made along the way. He missed them so much out there, but it was time to come home, take a breath, and rejoin his father. Nonetheless, he was reflected on Finn and the journey with his fellow former stormtrooper Jannah, along with Rose Tico, Chewbacca and Lando Carlissian in search of their families. Larma D’Acy was now in the Senate’s seat while Beaumont Kim as her aide. Caluan Ematt had retired and returned to his home planet with his family. Kaydel Ko Connix had been promoted to Major and continued to serve in the military. And Jessika Pava, the fearless sole member of the Black Squadron was taking over Poe’s command.

He had visited some time with Maz Kanata at her restored castle at Takodana where she had her new cantina, and with Zorii Bliss and Babu Frik who were still running spices like in the days when Poe had worked them long ago. Zorii would keep in touch with him until if she needed hand otherwise.

The giant red planet was covered in clouds as Black One dropped from the atmosphere and flew over the grassy fields to landed perfectly just as near from his father’s homestead.

He pulled off his flight helmet and climbed down from the cockpit. As General Dameron’s temporary side droid while Beebee-Ate was away with Rey, Artoo-Detoo popped up from the astromech socket behind the cockpit, and maneuvered himself with his two small rockets to land slowly onto the ground. Finally, the droid and his maker-pilot were strolling toward the stable next to the farmhouse.

They walked past his mother’s A-wing interceptor, parked next to an old X-wing model, and Poe was suddenly curious. He looked towards the craft as Artoo was suddenly became excited with blipping and whistles.

Poe turned to the diminutive droid, as he arched his brow. “What?” he asked unexpectedly. “What do you mean—“

“Is that you, son?” His father shouted from the nearby stable while fixing his tractor. “And I could hear Artoo’s droidspeak.”

He nodded to himself. “Yeah, Dad,” he said, still focusing on the ship as Artoo rolled closer. “I’m home!”

“How’s my old mates at Coruscant?”

“Er...they all missed you,” he looked closer at the craft: one had the red stripe on two of its wings and on the body. It was sleek, like the T-70 X-wing or his original Black One that had been destroyed inside the Raddus’ hangar.

Poe abruptly realized that this was the T-65B starfighter, the one that Uncle Luke had piloted to destroy the first Death Star at Yavin 4, and then thirty three years later the same craft that had flown to Exegol with the guide of a Sith Wayfinder, with Poe along with Finn and the rest of the Resistance following its track.

Red Five––here? Poe thought. No kriffing way!

“They’re coming to visit you the next seasons,” added Poe, sighed in relief. “And they’ll bring some of that Corellian cognac that you wanted!”

“Sounds good, Poe!” Kes Dameron answered enthusiastically.

That’s Master Jedi-Luke’s X-wing and I recognize this ship, Maker-Poe, the droid beeped to Poe. And I think there is someone here?

“Who?” asked Poe.

“Oh, there’s a visitor for you, kid,” Kes added. “And she’s with our Beebee.”

“Really?” His heart leaped to find out Rey was already there.

“Of course, you Space Porg! Did you see that old X-wing she’s flying?” Kes chucked as Poe got annoyed at his ridiculous teasing. “She’s at our old place. Do invite with your Jedi friend for a dinner tonight.”

“Ah…no problem, Dad. And I’ll tell her!” Poe wore a satisfied grin as he turned to giddy Artoo. ”Will you take it easy, bud?”

Sorry, sir. Artoo beeped. Never can help it.

He shook himself as he walked and the droid followed. “You know what, you’re a lot more cheekier like Beebee-Ate.” he observed. “And a bit naive.”

Why thank you very much, Master-Poe. You have to add that I’m a stubborn little droid as well. Jedi Master-Luke calls me that, by the way.

“Ah, I almost forgot that.” he chuckled lightly as they move along the path through the woods where his new home was, where his family was, and where the Uneti tree was located. “Does Uncle Luke cross your mind?”

Yes, Master-Poe. We had a lot of adventures when I was with him from time to time. But I can’t say much about what happened after he had gone.

“I know, Artoo,” he sighed sadly.

Until a sound of jubilant beeps and chirps approached as a spherical looking droid followed by a tiny cone shaped, rolled towards Poe.

“Beebee-Ate! Welcome back!” Poe exclaimed, dropping to his knees. He rubbed the droid’s body back as Beebee’s dome head jiggled excitedly like a child has returned from a long trip. “I really missed you, Buddy?”

Same to you, Master-Poe! Beebee beeps and chirps happily. It’s good to be home! What’s up, Artoo and you’ve been spending time with him!

Incredibly much, Beebee-Ate. Artoo replied. Master-Poe is happy you’ve come back.

“And how d’you enjoy crossing the galaxy with your Jedi Mistress-Rey?” he asked with a smile at Beebee. “Have you stuck with her?”

Yes, sir. She’s been keeping my antenna straight in case I get into trouble. We’ve traveled around to all the places, especially Tatooine.

“You mean Luke’s old homestead?”

Yes, sir.

Dio rolled closer to Poe. “Welcome back, Master-Poe.” he said calmly. He had been living there permanently as Poe’s second familiar. “How was the Senate meeting at Coruscant?”

Poe groaned as he nuzzled the droid’s cone head like a house pet. “Lot’s of reconstruction and other headaches, Little Buddy.” he smiled lightly. “Thanks for asking.”

He brought himself back to his feet as he was looked in the direction where he was going. “Is she there?” he asked.

“Yes, sir.” Dio replied.

Jedi Mistress-Rey has been at the tree in about an hour, Master-Poe. Beebee beeped in reply.

“What’s she doing?” asked Poe, looking at Beebee.

Meditating. Beebee double-beeped.

Poe looked over in the direction of the tree. He took a deep breath, glad of see Rey again. They had shared intimately at the forest of Ajan Kloss during an evening celebration. And it felt rewarding to him, as it was so very uncommon.

“Why don’t you guys go with Artoo and charge yourselves alright?” he said at the two. “I just need to speak alone with her.”

Beebee and Dio responded in the affirmative as they joining with Artoo and proceeded to the charging area. Poe resumes up the path, which finally opened into a clearing where he could almost feel her presence.

The ancient Force-sensitive Uneti tree stood there near the lake and his family’s old home, remodeled now as his own. Like The Great Tree at Coruscant, colorful fan-shaped leaves of gold and brown were attached to the coiled branches and stems of the large, twisted trunk.

Then Poe saw  the enchanted tree, and near it a beautiful floating figure sat crossed-legged in the air with small boulders and rocks hovering slowly around her as the Force flowed through her. Her eyes were closed peacefully as she concentrated in a meditative trance that flowed between her and the tree.

Poe was silently impressed; he sat down on the grass, placing his flight helmet beside him. Then he stripped off his flight vest and placed it on top of the helmet as he watched the floating and reposed Rey. She had more beautiful since their first encounter on Crait where she had used her power to lift rocks. Looking at her now, Poe thought her once again of how she resembled an ancient Yavinesque goddess with her celestial objects surrounding her.  

He’d never fallen in love with any woman in the galaxy before he found her. He had wanted her from the beginning when they first met at the Falcon, and now he loved having her in his life. Time was specifically a good thing when it came to General Dameron, who was gladly reunited with the lone scavenger from Jakku, now a fiercely independent Jedi after the tides of galactic war.

And it was something that he had faith in the ideal of his dauntless ally, his space goddess, his ray of sunshine, his beguiling sweetheart, and his beloved Jedi. She had returned for him.

Then a minute later, Rey had finally completed her meditation. She lowered herself neatly on the ground as the rocks fell around her.

Poe stood up and walked to her. “Hey, Sunshine,” he said to her.

Rey was aware of the familiar voice as she slowly opened her eyes and blinked. “Hey, Flyboy,” she replied breathlessly with a bright smile.

Poe took a quick step forward as Rey approached him and then wrapped her arms around him. At once all his aching memories of three unbearable months had finally lifted, and his eyes closed in bliss that as was back in his beloved Jedi’s arms. He tightened his hold around her waist and leaned against her chest as he inhaled the scent of her.

"I missed you,” she sighed softly.

“Same to you,” he murmured, his face buried in the crook between her neck and shoulder. “I’m surprised that you’re here.”

“Oh, I know. That’s why I came to see you, Poe,” she sniffed. “It’s been a long time since I was away.”

“I was worried while you were still out there.”

“More than your Force-sensitivity of tracking me?”

“Indubitably.” Poe lifted his head, raising his brows in a cocky manner and looked at her teary eyes. “I don’t want to spoil it too much, and it takes time,” he said meticulously, wiping her tears with his thumb.

“To be sure,” assured Rey.

He chuckled as his eyes mirroring hers while he stood in silence. It had been months since he and Rey had parted after leaving Ajan Kloss. There had been a lot of opportunities in their separate ways during the restoration of the New Republic, and some perks.

And he could see the truth in her eyes. Rey had missed him all these months since their fight against the Final Order, Emperor Palpatine, and his Sith Eternal, and she had come back to see him once again.

After disowning herself her Palpatine bloodline and adopting the Skywalker’s surname, Rey had made plans for the restoration and reorganization of the New Jedi Order––or maybe a search for the kybel crystal to build her own lightsaber from the parts of her staff.

She had returned to see Poe after her final trip to Tatooine. And either way, Poe was happy that Rey had come.

He began to move closer again until Rey spoke. “I hope you’re surprised I’m here with Beebee-Ate,” she noted. “He missed you.”

“Did he?”

She nodded slowly. “Uh-huh.”

“That’s my buddy,” he shrugged his shoulders with a sardonic grin as they gently pulled away. “And you’ve been flying Uncle Luke’s Red Five. What happened to your Falcon?”

“Lando asked me to borrow it for a while with Chewie,” she answered. “He told me the whole story about how his ship before he was beaten by Han in a card game.”

“That’s him, alright. He’ll never change a bit,” he sighed with a scoff, scratching the back of his head. “Are you going to stay for a while?”

“If you want me to,” she assured playfully, “then, I’m staying.”

“Good, I’m glad you’re welcome here, and you can stay as long as you like,” he said with a smirk. “Also, my Dad made some dinner for us tonight.”

“That’s sound’s wonderful,” she said in an optimistically.

Poe led her on a simple tour of the Force-sensitive tree. Despite growing up in the desert, Rey had already visited so many greens planets in the galaxy like Takodana and Ajan Kloss. But she was amazed at the exotic fields of Yavin 4 with its fresh breezes blowing through the Massassi trees, the scented fresh fruits of Koyo trees that Kes had planted, the bioluminescence of fresh flowers and lush green grasses, and the gleams of the late afternoon sun on the crystal-clear lake that shone with a lustrous and rare beauty.

As they strolled around under the tree in conversation, Rey noticed the renovated house nearby. “I can see the new home that you’ve to built over there. Is that the house where your parents lived?”

“Yup, I’m still restoring it,” he answered, shoving his hands into the front pockets of his fight uniform.

“Perhaps you need a hand. I’ve fixed a lot of stuff besides ships,” Rey glanced at him. “How about it, General Dameron?”

“Why not, Jedi Mistress Skywalker.” he was amused at the tone of her new surname. “A carpenter would be nicer to have around than a scavenger, a mechanic, or even a Jedi. But you only have a new lightsaber rather than a laser saw. Or maybe the Force would do–”

Instinctively, Rey quickly slapped his arm while Poe laughed with a cocky humor as they strolled. She ignored him as she is looked up to watch the gentle breeze moves through the branches of the Force-sensitive Uneti tree.

“Your father showed me this tree, and I can’t believe it’s so beautiful and mythical,” she said. “But it much seems so huge and different, unlike the one at Ahch-To.”

“It’s pretty awesome, huh? And it’s matured and more than I expected.” He walked to the trunk, but did not get close. “My mom helped Uncle Luke to cut two clippings a long time ago. So he gave her one as a thank you present.”

“So Luke has the other one at Ahch-To,” Poe continued. “and you’ve said there was a library underneath the trunk of the tree where the sacred Jedi texts kept.”

“That’s right, Poe.” she answered. “I returned the day on exile as when I saw the tree, it was burned down.”

Later, she stopped as Poe kept strolling. “Have you ever touched the tree?”

“Huh?” he blinked as he halted and turned back toward her.

“Did you?” she asked curiously.

“When I was thirteen, I was supposed to be close to the tree, but I’m afraid that was because I was being sensitive about staying away.” Then he swiftly glanced at her. “Later, I did at this point that I sat under the tree, and when I did, I felt the inside of me for the first time while I was napping.”

“Was it scary?” she asked.

Poe moved shyly away from her. “Nope, it’s childish. But sentimental.”

“Can you tell me, Poe?” Rey giggled, teasing him. “Come on.”

He turned back toward her again and looked down at the necklace that held his mother’s wedding ring around Rey’s neck. His expression was earnest as he moved towards her, and his fingers fiddling with the ring.

He took a patient breath and began. “I can only I remember what I felt about my mother and me. She was very close to me when I was a little boy. She would take me outside at night when my father was fast asleep. We went to the lake near the growing Force tree, we’d lie down on the grass and stared at the night sky.” Poe released the ring from his hand as he looked up at the afternoon sky. “Once, she pointed to the brightest star –– Caeli, the Bird Star of the galaxy. And it was a good sign; my mother promised me that I’d become the best pilot when I grew up, just like her.”

Poe missed his mom so much when he was with her. She had taught him advising and caring across the galaxy and over until he found himself in a place where the eyes of Shara Bey could not reach him.

“That was very touching, Poe,” she observed. “You missed your mom a lot?”

He sighed as he looked down at the surface roots between his feet, and he felt something like life, a presence, like the air through him. He cocked his head at her. “What about you, Sunshine?”

“What?” she puzzled.

“Have you touched or meditated through the tree?” he asked simply.

She took her breath with ease. “I felt it,” she replied with a simple nod.

“Was it scary or something?”

She shuddered slightly as Poe moved at her.  “Hey, it’s alright I’m here with you.” he reassured her.

“It’s like a magnet pulling me, Poe,” she answered, and her eyes rose and met his. “It’s not scary. It replenishes me inside––the Force––through the way of the world, through my parents, Han, Luke and Leia, and Ben. I had cherished them as my faithfully as long as I wished for them. They’re in peace now, and I shall never regret it. The bond between Ben and me has been reconciled and purpose. I was very fond of him and remember him as a friend rather than an adversary. I embraced him with gratitude when he brought me back to life after I was defeated Palpatine and the Sith.”

Poe moved closer to her, brought her hand to his lips and softly kissed her knuckle. “Finn and I thought that you were gone there at Exegol.” he murmured with his breath hitched. “I…I’m––“

“I know, Poe,” she answered softly in a brittle tone. “But I live.”

He watched her in silence for a while, and before he could kiss Rey began to talk about something else.

“I was there in Coruscant,” she said. “At the service.”

He understood. He hadn’t seen her at the Monument Plaza during the service. “Finn told me that you’d left early,” he said.

“I wish I could’ve stayed for a while, but I had something to settle.” she nodded slowly. “That was a good speech, Poe. It was very...”

“Solacing,” he admits, cutting off Rey’s sentence.

Rey clasped both hands. “I’m sorry.”

He heaved a sigh and swallowed, looking more comforted than grieving. “I know, sweetheart. I don’t want to affect myself of having an ordeal like this. I miss everyone, especially Snap and Aunt Leia.”

She bowed her head sadly. “I understand.”

“Leia was your master after Uncle Luke, Rey,” he said.

“Yes,” she said calmly. “Master Leia taught me everything while I was at Ajan Kloss. She watched me what I’m doing, and it was with a patience between peace and calm. She told me about all the moments she treasure with Luke as he taught her every day. I miss her, and especially Master Luke, Poe.”

Rey recollected the motherly relationship with the master who trained her apprentice to refocus and free her mind from fear through the Force. She understood entirely that patience was the key of the Force.

Poe walked and stood beside her as he gazed at the fields. “Before we left on a mission in search of the Wayfinder, Leia said she was passing her torch to me to bring the Final Order down. And while I was at Exegol that I nearly failed or retreated, until the spark which had become a fire finally arrived with Lando and the entire fleet from the whole galaxy. They had done it, and Leia was right about what she’d said about new hope. I believe in her, Rey.”

Then a single tear fell from his eye, and he wiped it away. “Anyway, that was then before the war was over and it was time to move on. But i’m here now with my dad to start a new life, right from the start.”

He took a breath like he’s relaxed from bereavement as he runs his hand through his hair. “So, um…how’s Tatooine?” he asked. “Beebee-Ate told me.”

“Hot during the day, and cold at night,” she said, walking over and staring out at the lake as she felt the gentle wind behind her. “It looks fairly different than Jakku. And it’s not to be lightly traveled, that desert planet.”

“Did you find what you’ve looking for at Uncle Luke’s place?” he asked, watching the most beautiful Jedi he had ever seen standing on the very edge of the lake.

After exploring across the galaxy, and revisiting Ahch-To, her final stop had been the Lars homestead in the Great Chott flat on Tatooine. The moisture farm had remained abandoned, it was there where she buried Anakin and Leia's lightsabers. She stayed there for a while in peace and tranquility, staring at the striking blue and gold sunrise of the twin suns.

“Nothing special,” answered Rey after took a long breath. She picked up a small stone and threw and skipped it across the water. “But, there’s one who came and visited me before I left.”

“Luke?”

“No, it was Leia,” she said, turning her back to him. “She told me everything about Ben, about the pain he’d suffered, that there was still good inside of him, and she could feel it before she died.”

After a moment, Poe sighed as Rey went on. “Leia told me about you, Poe. Not so feisty as you’d think since when you were with her.”

“Oh, please,” he said like he’s was fooling around. “What was our second mom saying?”

“She wanted to know how you felt to be without guidance. Your instinct as a leader was genuinely unsurpassable, and it was such a difficult situation with what you did out there. She was pleased with you, Poe.”

Poe missed having Aunt Leia by his side during the war after Shara’s passing. He was just amazed by the miracles in the galaxy.

“When if she comes as a ghost to see you,” said Poe with a light smile. “tell her to say thank you, will you?”

“There’s more,” she said, this time sincerely. “Leia told me that I was her last wish for you—it’s because I’m your gift, Poe. I hadn’t noticed this before we met––”

Poe moved closer to her and felt the way her body relaxed against his. He placed his finger gently on her lips to silence her. “Enough, sweetheart. You’ve talked too much, and I know the exact words that she said to me.”

“Oh, there is something else,” she added with a sigh, leaning her forehead to his, and held her hands on his chest, clutching her fingers against the fabric of Poe’s flight uniform. “While I was still meditating with the tree, and I felt a presence that was unforgettable.”

They stood looking at each other in serenity and longing as the sunlight gleamed on the surface of the Yavinesque lake around them.

“It’s about us, Poe.” she whispered as her breath hitches. She closed her eyes like she was praying.

His heartbeat skipped a beat, and his eyes blinked as though he couldn’t believe what she was saying. “Tell me,” he murmured, as his eyes closed with hers.

“I remember at Crait when you were bewildering me while I used the Force to lift rocks and help you, Finn, and the rest of the Resistance to escape. Then we met at the Falcon, and as we shared about our pain by Ben and then Snoke, we were truly connected. Then we bickered with each other like feral Loth-cats about the Falcon being on fire because of your habit on lightspeed skipping,” Poe snorted at that as Rey lightly chuckled before continuing. “We fought alongside with Finn against the First Order from time to time. And while on a mission, you protected me that I fought my Palpatine bloodline against turning to the Dark Lord’s throne and falling to the Dark Side. And when I was ready for heading to Exegol to face my grandfather, were still arguing that I didn’t need you to safeguard or watch over me anymore. But you  still protected me because you were deeply in love from the beginning without telling me.”

And Poe moved to hold her gently, then ran his hands smoothly along her arms and between her neck and her face. His head moved up as his lips brushed softly against her forehead. Rey flutters her eyes blissfully as she let her saying the words to flow. He whispered with kisses, from one of her eyelids to her cheek, and then that close to her mouth. Rey sighed with bliss and felt the feathery touch of his breath against her skin.

She went on: “Then the other day during the victory celebration, the night we shared each other in the deep of the forest when we made love...as the Force enlivened inside of our deepest emotions we shared, and preserved this moment forever. And when we left Ajan Kloss at dawn in our separate ways, I felt that my presence was inside still  in your heart and soul, and that you would be waiting for me when I returned from across the galaxy. And now…” she paused for a second with her eyes opened, and Poe instantly stopped kissing her while his eyes stared lovingly at hers. “Poe?”

“What?” he asked, his expression beguiling.

“Why did you stop?” she asked, begging him to continue in his dawdling manner.

“Why did you stop,” he asked. “I wouldn’t know until you allow me to say so.”

Her breath hitched, then she choked up like she was almost crying, and they were both quiet for a moment until her face rested on his shoulder and Poe moved his hand to gently fondle her head.

“I came for you, Poe,” she declared softly at last with her eyes closed. “And I’m here…right here.”

He smiled peacefully, pressing his lips against the crown of her head. “Well, you’re here right now, my Lady Jedi,” he replies. “And I love you.”

With hindsight, she took his hand from her head and placed it gently on her abdomen.

Poe‘s eyes were stunned and surprised, and his mouth parted in wonder. Rey cocked her head to face him and smiled at him.

“No way,” he stammered, furrowing his brows. “Rey, you’re––”

“Does it surprise you, General?”

As their heartbeats touched each other’s chest, Poe’s permission was written into the desperation of with which his mouth met hers, something like a sense of contentment that he shared with her. He wanted more than anything is to be with her eternally.

Two hearts and one home. Poe discerned in thought.

“So you’re staying with me, Rey,” Poe said as his eyes gleamed and smirked. “And if you live to be a hundred?”

Rey laughed joyfully. Tears flowed down on her cheeks, and he gently wiped them away with his thumb. “I hope to live to be a hundred minus a day.” she sniffed in jest.

He chuckled thoughtfully with one brow widened. He nodded and caressed Rey’s face as she looked at him. “So that I never have to live a day without you.”

She leaned her forehead against his. The Force inspirited their emotions because of love, and the heart of the galaxy was forever changed.

“I love you, Space Porg.” she murmured.

Instead of calling her ‘Desert Rat,’ he decided to call her from now on.

“I know, Buttercup,” he answers softly, pulling her gently and returning his lips to hers. “I know.”

[smirkingsolo]

Orpheus: A Reylo Story (Chapter 1: Ash and Memory)

The World Between Worlds Reylo Fix it fic you’ve been craving since TROS ripped out your still beating heart and crushed it to death.

Canon-compliant, universe-plausible, multi-chapter

Please read the Prologue first; it will literally not make any sense if you don’t!

Prologue can be found here or over on my AO3 (Rinnagirl) at https://archiveofourown.org/works/21984730/chapters/52460923

Your comments, likes, reblogs, kudos, etc. mean the absolute world to me!

Chapter 1: Ash and Memory

For what feels like the hundredth time, Rey ignites Leia’s saber. Its blue beam casts the surrounding woods in an unearthly glow. The effect is immediate. A sound like a distant scream of frustration echoes in her mind, pounding against the walls of her skull like some caged creature desperate to break free. She drops the saber, hands shooting to clutch at her throbbing head, clamping down over her ringing ears. When the saber hits the ground, de-igniting, the silence is just as immediate.

Two months.

It has been two months since Exegol. Two months since she has been able to use the saber, either saber. Though it had meant the triumphant return of her staff, the inability to use the only sabers she had was becoming incredibly inconvenient. She could tell she was already losing some of her skill and coordination with single-bladed weapons after two full months of being unable to even ignite the sabers, let alone train with them, without the horrible screams. Some days she vowed to ignore it and train anyway.

That never lasted long.

Even when there was no screaming, the alternative was not much better. It was either a desperate, trapped scream or a chorus of voices so loud they drowned out her every thought with their incessant chatter.

She glares at the saber resting oh so innocently on the forest floor. They are on Takodana at the moment, a place Rey would normally have enjoyed visiting. Poe and Finn were meeting with Maz to discuss what Rey usually referred to as “CC (co-comander) business.” In the months after the Battle of Exegol, the group of former Resistance fighters had kept busy. More than enough small pockets of First Order loyalists and even the odd scattered Sith cultist groups still stirred up enough trouble here and there to keep them on the alert.

Rey, honestly, hasn’t a clue what Maz and her friends are meeting about this time. She’s sure Finn told her, maybe no more than two hours ago on the ship, but like so much in the last two months, it just slips right off as soon as she hears it. She is distracted, and now, thanks to her lovely situation with the sabers, incredibly frustrated.

She picks up the saber, turning it over in her hands like she used to do with the scrap parts she looted from the ships crashed in the Jakku desert. Leia’s saber, like Luke’s, was a marvel. She never grew tired of the schhwizz that accompanied an igniting lightsaber. But the Skywalker sabers still feel distant in many ways, like they are still being borrowed even though they had both technically been left to her. You need to make one of your own, she thinks, not for the first time. But how?

She sighs, tucking Leia’s saber into her belt and settling into her meditative position. The Force hums around her, coming alive in her new attentiveness. She feels the grass growing and the brush of the wind across her skin as it stirs fly-aways loose from her buns. The solid earth presses upwards towards her and she can feel herself lifting up off it, her diving off point into a sea of feeling. A sense of pure calm washes her bones in sunset warmth. She concentrates. Be with me. Be with me. Be with me.

She reaches out, stretching towards the memories and souls of the past Jedi, their experiences hovering at the edge of her consciousness like her own forgotten thoughts. There is a sense of understanding, of surety, and she chases after it, the fingered tendrils of her mind reaching further, tracking the feeling. She catches up to the memory, brushing against it like one might brush the hair from a lover’s eyes.

She sucks in a breath. It’s him.

In her mind’s eye is a young Ben Solo, white padawan robes and all, eyes closed in focused meditation. Before him float the pieces of an unfinished lightsaber, twisting and hovering, held in place only by his concentration. She feels an understanding of what he is doing seeping into her own mind. Then the scene begins to flicker, the once defined shape of Ben Solo blinking in and out of form, alternating with another, smaller figure. It’s her. Her vision leaps rapidly between the two of them, both somehow occupying the same space and position. As she watches, the two begin to blur together before settling on the image of Ben once more, his eyes snapping suddenly open, wide and dark.

He is looking at her.

She feels a jolt; a once familiar tug in her gut overtakes her. It’s been two months since she last felt this feeling. The feeling of him. The feeling of connecting to him across lightyears of space rocks and stardust. The feeling of their Force bond comes alive inside her and she aches. She knows it is impossible to connect with a memory, for it to acknowledge her in return, but Ben’s eyes are focused, looking past the hovering lightsaber pieces and trained on her.

“REY,” Finn's voice collides with her like a blaster bolt, ripping through her vision of Ben and snapping her meditative state in half, dropping her unceremoniously to the dirt. She is breathless and disgruntled when Finn reaches her and she has half a mind to smack him with her staff.

Times like this almost make her wish for the solitude of Jakku again. They’ve been hovering over her these past two months, Finn and Poe. Moments of peace and quiet are rare. She knows they mean well, appreciates what they are trying to do for her. But it has been difficult to grieve with them around. There is something more personal about her grief over the loss of Ben Solo, something they would not understand. It wasn’t like losing Leia. It was like losing part of her own soul. He still felt close to her in some strange way that she couldn’t quite identify, but still, it wasn’t the same.

She hadn’t known what he was to her when she lost him, hadn’t had the time to even try to work it out. Their relationship up until that point had been complicated to say the least. So much so that she hadn’t even known how to explain herself when she returned from Exegol a shell shocked mess. They had attributed it to her encounter with Palpatine, to the revelation of her bloodline, to the loss of Leia. She had told them what she could in the simplest of terms. Told them that Ben Solo had had a change of heart after all, had come to help her fight Palpatine, had saved her life. Finn had pressed her about it, about the life saving bit in particular, almost as if he knew that she had died completely. She waved it off, claiming that he took a blow meant for her and died of the wound. She still wasn’t entirely sure why she lied to him, but something about the intimacy of that memory felt too precious to share with someone who still only knew him as the hated Kylo Ren.

There was only one person with whom she had shared the full account of the events on Exegol. She hadn’t expected the conversation, hadn’t expected to share so much, but Lando Calrissian was quite charming. There was an ease about him that seeped into her and knocked loose her secrets.

So few were the people left who had known Ben Solo before he was Kylo Ren. She had asked him with as much nonchalance as she could manage what Ben had been like as a child. Lando had studied her for a few moments before answering. But then he had launched into a tale of the time he’d presented young Ben Solo with a blaster with which he’d accidentally blown a hole through the wall of a visiting diplomat’s chambers.

Lando had caught her not long after that conversation in the back of the Falcon, tears in her eyes and a small lockbox open in her lap that contained a plain black shirt with a hole burned through it and a familiar blaster. He asked her how she had come to acquire Ben Solo’s blaster and from there the truth had tumbled forth.

He had listened patiently, placing a comforting hand on top of hers on the blaster when it came to the difficult parts. A gesture that reminded her of Leia. She had even told him about the kiss. He didn’t press or ask her to explain, he only nodded, a knowing look in his eye.

“Some people are never really gone, Rey. Especially the ones we love.”

*****************************************************************************************************

When they reach the ship Rey gathers Finn and Poe to her.

“There’s somewhere I need to go.”

Both Finn and Poe nod, but she can tell they aren’t really hearing her. Both are eyeing a precariously placed BB-8 on the roof of the Falcon, his tiny blowtorch ignited in an attempt to reseal a crack that Poe had undoubtably caused.

She gives them each a light tap on the head with the end of her staff and they refocus their attention on her.

“I need to go to Dagobah. Alone.”

*****************************************************************************************************

“Ben, are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

Ben rolls his eyes, shooting his mother a look of thinly veiled annoyance.

“Yes, mother. I’ve flown plenty of interdimensional ghost crafts before.”

Leia presses her lips together; a tiny, wry smile threatens to slip through.

Ben wonders if she can tell he is doing none of the steering. It isn’t that he couldn’t fly the Falcon if he wanted to, but this Falcon has a mind of its own and a clear destination that Ben cannot discern. He can’t even see through the front windows for the blue blur of lightspeed until they land, as if the ship has shifted from lightspeed to landed without need for transition. Then it’s nothing but sand.

Kriffing, World Between Worlds rules.

Before Ben can push the release on the door, Leia clears her throat. He only half turns.

“Yes?”

“I don’t quite know how this world works, but I wonder if perhaps we ought to dress a little more inconspicuously. We still don’t know if or how we will appear to others.”

He notes now that she has already changed into a spare set of clothes, ones she stored in a compartment long ago, still right where she left them, even in this strange dimension. Ben glances down at himself. All black. Perhaps she is right, it is a bit dark side for what appears to be a hot desert planet.

She offers a bundle to him and he heads off to change. He snorts derisively when he opens the bundle. It is clear that these were once his father’s clothes. They practically scream “scoundrel smuggler,” but there is no sense in disagreeing with an insistent Leia Organa, even in an alternate dimension. She turns away from him quickly when he emerges, concealing a small smile and a few tears, and he knows he must look exactly like Han. Though he elects to keep his own black pants and boots, the loose white shirt and lightweight vest are better suited for the environment, necessary even. At least, that’s what he tells himself. He knows the low slung blaster belt and holster are nowhere near as necessary, but he straps them on anyway. May as well.

The nearest village is eerily familiar, at least to Ben. The longer they linger, the more he remembers, and he truly wishes he didn’t. They are on Jakku in the village of Tuanul. The village is largely empty with the exception of a few marauding scavengers who seem entirely unable to see them. Leia calls out to one, even moving to touch the man’s shoulder, but there is no response. Her hand passes through him, a blurry mirage-trail of her movement following behind it. They are smoke and ash here, a match to the ruins of the settlement.

Ben is staring at one of the burned out structures when Leia returns to his side, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Ben?”

“I did this.” His voice is no more than a choked whisper.

The air around them begins to stir, a sluggish tornado of trailing ash forming images as the remaining scavengers move off into the desert, unaware of anything more than a light breeze.

The images solidify, Ben’s memory set around them now in a frozen rendition of the past. The villagers cower in a huddled mass in the center of the village. Ben can see himself, as Kylo Ren, strike down Lor San Tekka. No mercy, no pause, no regret. They watch as he gives the stormtroopers the order to execute the remaining villagers, and he looks away, unable to bear witness to the terror in their expressions. The terror you caused, murderer.

He feels sick, an overwhelming urge to vomit pits his gut. What does it matter if you could live again? Do you even deserve to? More than any one of these innocent people you sentenced to death?

He stumbles away from the scene, finally collapsing to his knees in front of the memory-figure of Kylo Ren. His tears fall, mingling with the ash. Black raindrops in the sand. He’d thrown away his saber, but knows he can’t throw away his past actions so easily. He’d told the memory of Han Solo that he wasn’t sure if he had the strength to do what he needed to; Han had assured him that he did. So he had. He had thrown away his prized saber. He had given his life for another. But this? What more of himself had he to offer? He was a ghost in the world now, not even a body or soul to give. Was there even anything he could offer that could atone for these sins if he returned to life?

Leia’s hand is on his shoulder again, warm and firm, offering a light squeeze of reassurance. He turns towards her, arms wrapping around her legs, his face pressing into her stomach like he is a little boy again, ashamed and afraid.

She strokes his hair, bringing her other arm around as she bends to hold him.

“Mother...” His voice breaks. “I don’t know how to undo the past. I don’t deserve to live again, not after all of this.”

“Ben.” He never understood how his mother managed to sound both gentle and stern all at once, but there it is, the tone she would use on him when he was a child. He holds her tighter.

“Ben, there is so much you must unlearn if you are to live in the world again.” She cups his chin in her hand, tilting his face up to look at her. “But you have taken the hardest step. The first step is always the most difficult, but it matters. It means something that you made the choice to walk away from this life. I won’t lie to you, my son, you have done many things that are worth regretting. I know you did so much out of anger, out of fear, loneliness, sorrow...”

Leia’s voice shakes; she tightens her hold on him.

“So much done out of the pain that we... that I was supposed to protect you from.” Her tears flow freely now. “And I am so sorry, Ben. I am sorry we ever made you feel like you were less important to us, like you were unloved or unwanted or abandoned. Your father and I loved you and still do. And I want nothing more than to see you live a life of happiness and belonging. Oh Ben, what you have done doesn’t matter nearly as much as what you will do. If you return to life, you need only live a life of deliberate, intentional love. Choose to take care of others. Choose to be compassionate, protective, kind. You earn the life you live by making the lives of others worth living. There is still time, Ben. It is never too late to love others, to care for them.”

She slides to the ground, kneeling before her son, placing both hands on his face.

“I sense great love in you, Ben. I always have, but now more than ever.”

With that he folds into her, clinging to her with abandon, a lost child found again. They stay like that for a time, the years of emotions ebbing away gently, leaving them both peaceful and renewed.

When they stand again, the memory-figure of Kylo Ren has dissolved into ash once more, scattered in the desert wind.

The pair once again move about the frozen memory, observing as parts of it begin to dissolve. Ben pauses in front of a lone Stormtrooper. A bloody handprint stains the trooper’s mask.

“What happened to the stormtrooper? FN-2187. The one who defected...is he...is he happy?”

Leia smiles, nodding. “Yes, he’s quite happy now. He’s found a home. It is my understanding that he is now co-general with Poe Dameron who you might recognize.” She gestures towards a memory-figure frozen in the act of being dragged towards the First Order ship by two half-dissolved Stormtroopers.

She smiles at him affectionately. “Yes, Finn is in good hands.”

Ben nods, extending a hand towards FN-2187...Finn, resting it on his shoulder.

“I am glad.”

*****************************************************************************************************

Lightyears away Finn jolts in his seat, a vision passing before his eyes, the mug in his hand splattering caf onto Poe who lets out an indignant shriek.

“Kriff, Finn! What was that about?!”

But Finn barely hears him. His hand resting on his shoulder where he had just felt the presence of a hand, not quite touching but close enough to sense. Not just any hand. The hand of Kylo Ren. Through new to his Force-sensitivity Finn recognized the Force signature immediately.

“Finn, Finn? Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Poe is standing now, hovering near Finn, wide eyes creased with lines of concern.

“I...I think I did.”

Poe cocks one eyebrow at him, but doesn’t scoff.

“What did you see?”

“Leia and Kylo Ren. They’re somewhere. Not quite alive, but definitely not dead. It’s hard to explain, but it’s like he almost touched me.” He gestures to his shoulder. “Dead people can’t do that, Poe, not even through the Force! Look, I know it sounds crazy but—” Poe slides his hand to cover the spot on Finn’s shoulder and gives it a squeeze, effectively cutting off Finn’s babbling. He looks Finn straight in the eye.

“I believe you.”