#same idea as in the one from a while ago but in different font or something like that lol

[notonlymice]

rumbelle + (one more) school au moodboard

[buried-in-autumn-leaves]

XOD PAIR ANALYSIS - PART ONE - BAE & PRAN

A while ago I posted XOD pairs as 'Same Character Different Font' and I paired Bae with Pran and I said I was going to post about it and never did (bc I am a lazy piece of shit 🙏) so I'm finally doing that (ty @otomes-and-tears)

Bae and Pran are surrounded by people like them. While everyone in the squad is aware that they lack genuine friendships, Pran and Bae are the ones that seem almost proud of it. This is because for them, having friends or even being liked contradicts the roles they've placed themselves in.

This is really obvious if you look at the way they talk to and about those closest to them. For Pran, being liked implies she is not a purely bad person- She can't process this. Even in her romance route there's this validation of her mindset where it makes sense that it's JB that likes her because she's ALSO awful. She is attached to Jeremy because his version of 'liking' her is tainted by his mask of apathy. He likes her because she is a low maintenance friend who he doesn't have to put any effort towards. Jeremy's parents don't care for her because of any actual goodness, but out of pity. Nothing in that friendship requires her to try to be a good person. Her falling into hookup culture is self destructive- She relies on her looks, which she is already insecure about, to secure meaningless flings, not caring who gets hurt in the process.

Bae keeps himself alone for a similar reason. His superiority complex is a safety net. Due to his upbringing, being above others is the place he feels most comfortable. If people his own age get along with him, it shatters the idea that he is so different from them. This, I feel, is why he 'gets along' with Shiloh, at least as genuinely as those two can manage. Shiloh is SMART. He isn't blunt in his ways the way Bae and Pran are, but I feel that Bae would almost respect the way Shiloh goes about his life. He keeps total control. (I could go on ab how Shiloh and Bae turn to niceness for completely opposite reasons but this ain't ab them.) This is why, as much as I don't actually like Bae, I adore his confession ending. When JB pursues him, he's humouring her. He will continue to insist that's what's happening even at the end. When he talks about his future, he very intentionally uses 'mature' language, specifically the word Wife. Yet, when he asks JB to go out with him, he uses the word 'Girlfriend'- A word that is specifically NOT used by a lot of non-married adult couples because it's seen as juvenile.

I feel the reason Bae likes Pran so much (besides his obsession with anything 'cute') is because of their shared blunt nature. He feels understood by her in a way she clearly does not share, finding it more annoying than anything else. He's also taking advantage of her apathetic nature- She is the only one who isn't going to tell anyone anything he says. Besides Jeremy ofc, who Bae doesn't see as a threat. In a weird way, she's almost like a safe space for him to speak, and if given the time, I can see him being that for her as well.

[finalfrontierpublishing]

The Lightness of You // This Soul Outstreaming - a @rendherring duology

The entire origin for this bind was because I was extremely excited to use my newly purchased legal paper and I had wanted to make a tête-bêche quarto - and I just had so many feelings about Good Omens after watching the second season and I needed very much to bind something that is my love letter to Good Omens and express ALL MY FEELINGS ABOUT THOSE TWO LOVEABLE IDIOTS.

Stats:

36055 words || 153 pages

Body text: EB Garamond 11 point

Accents: Alchemist Serif font

I bound these two little fics written by the same author (in 2019, so they are spoiler-free fics), of which they are opposing points of view but also are slightly different stories. I mainly used the character point of views to guide a lot of my design choices.

did quite a few new things with this bind: a tête-bêche, also a quarto! a legal quarto! plus edge gilding! and a half-bind which i have legitly not done since my first bind 1 year ago.

the tête-bêche is a trial run for an author copy - and thankfully is easier than expected.

i chose decorative papers (renato crepaldi, because i have a Stash) that specifically gave me aziraphale and crowley vibes - and leaned into the elements of light and dark, contrast and harmony, while matching it with forest floor colibri. AGAIN PLANT VIBES, JUST BECAUSE.

I kept my typesetting very classic - a) because i wanted to speed bind this (which i did in 2 days) and b) because i wanted to preserve old book vibes. i also practiced++++ and took the electric sander for a whirl because by god i was going to get some foiled/gilded edges on this bind so it would look like a fancy pancy book Aziraphale would covet for his shelf. this is my third attempt at sanding and gilding and it's still a little patchy - not perfect enough yet for a consistent result but i hope to get there one day and to be able to do foiled edges for author copies, hopefully soon. i would say despite the patchiness, it looks pretty fucking fancy and i really liked how it turned out.

Endpapers are the same papers on the cover but on the contralateral endpaper sides, which is a great contrast and an amazing idea from @pleasantboatpress because i was befuddled by Options.

For the endbands, i took inspiration from @celestial-sphere-press's recent beautiful gradient endbands, but leaned more with the usage of sunlight breaking through the contrast of light and darkness, for Aziraphale's side, while Crowley's side is done with green, black and gold because PLANTS. i stitched the main textblock with lovely variegated galaxy thread (IFYKYK :)) hand-dyed by @pleasantboatpress.

i actually really like how the bind came together and i'm rather proud of its simplicity and how intentional it feels as a bind, design-wise. every design choice was done with love, for the show, the book, the author, the characters and the fic and i am just FILLED WITH FEELINGS, Y'ALL. i'm not ashamed of them.

my only (small) gripe is my legal paper grain snafu because i am one of those grain purists and i only ever like using the correct grain but despite the textblock being in the wrong grain, it is still a lovely book and my fears were unwarranted, the book lies flat and open (it's not a monster book of monsters, which i had always assumed erroneously was a grain issue) and is still very readable other than a little sticky-outyness of the pages. am also very grateful because paper supplier is replacing it for free (they are legit the nicest).

[thisgameissonintendo]

here’s the thing about me + lockwood content

before lockwood & co. i wasn’t really in the mood for editing. yes, i did come up with videos and photo edits but i wasn’t really enjoying it much. it was the same all over again. a new episode - a new video. don’t get me wrong, i loved the show (still do, it’s magnum p.i. i’m talking about) but i’ve been editing that for years now. 

every now and again a show was coming back with a new season. the umbrella academy for example. i did my usual “new season = one edit with number 5“ and then stopped (because there’s not really much content to use when there’s 50 main characters and you’re only willing to sit down to edit one of them). 

then outer banks came back, i thought “hey, time for a new rafe edit“. he wasn’t in it much. i didn’t come up with a video. fine, okay, back to magnum p.i. (which i still LOVE to death, don’t get me wrong, i would always come up with edits, it’s my 2nd favorite show now) but sometimes it’s nice to have different characters to work with. 

wednesday was released and i really liked that, especially tyler. i made some photo edits and a few videos (4 or something). and what then? back to the old routine? 

no, lockwood & co. was out. i remembered i had seen the trailer a while ago and liked it so i clicked ‘play‘. and look where we are now. i don’t know the last time one character has sparkled any interested in me and got me this motivated. a new one as well, might i add. i don’t do well with new characters since i always have to kinda let them get to me first, you know. it’s quite the process, too, when you want to edit. you have to get the episodes, the scenes you wanna use, you have to select 0.04 seconds from episode 1 and then 0.02 seconds from episode 8 because you think they could work really well together. so it’s a lot to think about even for short videos or photo edits (find the right episode for a certain scene, take screenshots, have ideas of what you wanna do with that screenshot, find good fonts, effects,…) i think you get me. it takes a lot of dedication (for me) to accept a character. and it’s not like i don’t like most of them. i like a lot. for example i’ve enjoyed characters from titans, fate: the winx saga, the sandman, hsmtmts and so on. 

so, what i usually do when i watch a new show is play it in the background. i don’t know any character - i’m not interested in any of them. i press ‘play’ and scroll through instagram or twitter. however with lockwood & co., i didn’t. i had my phone sitting right next to me but i didn’t click on instagram. i didn’t click on twitter. i actually watched the show from the first second on. for some reason it was very special to me, i can’t explain it. it felt like i had found THE show (and character) for me. the one show that could get me back into editing, actually loving what i do and create. and it did. look where i am now. 

i’m very emotional about this, i cannot even find proper words to express how thankful i am for all of this. i wake up in the morning and am excited about the evening because that’s the time of day i 1) have time to re-watch the show 2) read the books (again) or 3) edit. so this whole saving campaign is not only a matter of stopping netfl** bullshit with unnecessary cancelations, it’s also a matter of heart for me. lockwood & co. is my comfort show. i’ve found it after so many years and i didn’t even know i needed one but i did. lockwood & co. is not your ‘typical ghost show’. lockwood is not your typical good-looking, dick-ish protagonist, he’s way more. he’s the reason i’m doing all of this. i’m trying my best to help with whatever i can because they all deserve to come back for at least one more season. so, every day i stay up until 3-4am, get up at 9am the same day and i don’t regret a single thing. i wanna do this. and i know we can all help them get a new season, together.  

it’s been four months (and two days) since the release of lockwood & co. in these four months i’ve been the most creative i’ve ever been, i’ve met the most kind people on social media and i’ve never loved editing more than i do now. and all thanks to anthony lockwood.

[azrielgreen]

I know you get a lot of questions about writing and how to write fast and how to produce as much content as you. My question is sort of related. How do you stay motivated to continue fics when it’s been a while since updating? I have multiple WIPs and want to finish them all but I feel like a different person now than I was when I started them and don’t feel the same energy for the ideas either. I know it’s an option to abandon them but I hate the idea of that. I know passion is one corner of your triangle for the Az method, but how do you keep it alive and not burn yourself out by writing so much? Do you ever force yourself to finish stuff? Idk if my question makes sense. I hope it does. Thank you!

Ahh, this is an amazingly important question and you sent it AGES ago and I couldn't reply until now because I was SNOWED UNDER WITH MULTIPLE WIPS and didn't have a clear answer for you, beyond "hang in there babe😭" until now!

My advice is:

a) anyone reading this, don't write more than 2 things at the same time. If you have two and you're thinking of a third, don't do it. Trust me. Finish the others first.

b) if you find yourself in the ✨WIP SEA✨ you need to choose ONE island to swim to and one only. Get to your biggest project and set up shop there. Forget the others, immerse yourself again in the vibe, the story, the magic. Make a playlist, plan a themed tattoo, make a mood board, but get back into why you fell in love with the story in the first place and STAY THERE. You have to finish the biggest project first. The others will fall like dominos after that.

c) keeping passion alive is REALLY fucking hard sometimes and it takes very little to snuff it out, so my advice there is to remove yourself from what can dampen your spirits. Take a social media break (always radiant advice), make a new desk area, hype yourself up for THAT SCENE you have in mind, and if nothing else is working for the story, do something drastic. Write a dialogue only chapter. Do a POV switch.

d) Change your font to one of these: Comic Sans, More Sugar Thin, Jessica Antique or Beryllium Ink. These fuckers work MIRACLES for the neurodivergent brain. Switch the font, just start writing SOMETHING and watch the magic happen.

e) Know when to cut bait. I have never abandoned a fic in my life, but I have abandoned stories before I published them, including professional publishing ones and I have deleted MASSIVE amounts of text because it just wasn't working for me and I can confidently tell when to move on, start fresh and shift gears. If these are fics that are published and WIP, then the pressure to complete them definitely is higher, I know from experience. My advice is to either work on the biggest one and complete that first OR find one that would take very little to complete and smash it out.

f) Don't lose your momentum. This is CRITICAL and I want to talk more about this because creative momentum is powerful and important. The more you write, the more you can WRITE. Write every day, keep it doing. When you complete something, use that boost of pride and joy to fuel yourself. There will be days where you don't physically write of course but writing is a cyclical process and the more you map it to your energy (especially if you have a moon cycle VS sun cycle) the more you'll realise there are specific weeks where you'll have high, clear energy and other weeks with lower energy, so you can adjust your output to prevent burn out.

g) Don't let it get you down. The longest gap between update and completion I ever had was 6 years for my Twilight fic. 6 fucking years and in the end I had to end it with them writing letters to each other, back and forth because I was a completely different writer to who I was before and everything would have been different, so I took a risk and wrote it differently and it paid off.

h) Know that you CAN do it, you just have to decide to. "I just decided to..." is one of the most powerful sentences we can ever say aloud. Just look at yourself in the mirror and DECIDE to do it. That's it. Maybe it won't be great to start off with but that's why we edit. Just get the ball rolling again. The first push after a long period being stationary is ALWAYS hard but keep it going and it'll get easier with every passing word.

I hope this was helpful, apologies again for the delay.

P.S- Finishing Touched changed EVERYTHING for me. I really do recommend ticking off the biggest one first. 💜💜💜

[jamiesnovels]

Writing with ADHD

I was diagnosed with ADHD just over two months ago. It was only then that I realized just how debilitating it was to my creative endeavor.

For context, I have been writing – or perhaps I should say, trying to write – for about twenty years now. The relative brevity of school projects, coupled with the multitasking nature of upper-level courses, made school writing assignments doable. Still, I remember many a day in college spent vomiting words on paper as quickly as I could, skimming and re-skimming and re-re-skimming the same section of the book I was supposed to have read days or even weeks ago to find whatever I could to BS my way to some sort of poignant point. This was not most assignments, to be clear, but it was more than a few.

I will emphasize, I did well in school, from the year my writing spark came to me all the way through college. My psychologist suggested my focus on subjects that interested me, as well as the multitasking aspect of study, was a coping mechanism. At any rate, while focused on school, my free time was rarely spent on my passion.

Not for lack of trying: Every year, I’d have one or two different story ideas in my head, and I’d feverishly scribble through a composition notebook (College Rule, of course) with my No. 2 pencil (Dixon Ticonderoga, always), or since college, my Pilot G-2 black-ink pen (0.38 font, or 0.5 if I absolutely had to). (You may infer from my parentheticals that I had a thing about space optimization, maximizing words-per-page, but I digress.)

Those ideas never got far. Every time, I would slow to a stop after one or two weeks at most. Dismayed by my grammar, overwhelmed by the plot rolling around in my head, or just embarrassed that someone might read what I wrote and judge me harshly for it. The plot in my head stayed in my head. Ideas stayed ideas.

And as I got older, I slowed down. College was part of it: nearly all my free time was spent on homework or the one or two clubs I enjoyed. And then when work came along, the mental effort and sheer stress left me exhausted by the end of the day.

My First Breakthrough

In November 2021, I decided to join NaNoWriMo. (Referencing that organization leaves a foul taste in my mouth today, following its many scandals that leave it disgraced. But I digress.)

I joined because I was tired of being tired all the time. I was tired of having all these ideas in my head and never getting them down on paper. I was tired of always feeling like a failure. I had to prove to myself that I could do it.

And I did. In three weeks and change, I had a vomit draft of a story I had ideated over the past couple years, the first in a five-book series. It was a grand achievement for me. Just writing every day for a whole month was huge, but to turn around and see that I had produced so much in so little time was eye-opening.

I realized, from this experience, that I can do it. I can produce, even with ADHD, even with a day job that sapped all my energy, even with everything else going on in this world.

Then I started revising. At first, the momentum continued. I managed to do a lot to clean up the very concept of the story by early 2022. I changed settings, improved pacing, honed in on my central message, and made my protagonist more relatable. But that was the easy part.

As I began drilling down the scope of my revisions, my drive rapidly faded. The more I had to think about my novel, the less energy I had to expend on it. More and more, I would try to tackle something, get overwhelmed after a couple days, then drop the whole project for months – even over a year at one point!

I simply did not have the mental energy to expend on it. It was demoralizing, especially after such an early success.

My Second Breakthrough

A few months ago, I started seeing a therapist. After some sessions, they recommended I find someone to investigate whether I had ADHD, and with a little luck, I landed a psychologist with the proper credentials. Then I was diagnosed.

I started my ADHD treatment the day after I turned 28. It was like night and day.

That day, I told myself I was going to plunge back into my novel, just to see how I could do. I did more work on that novel in a single day than I think I’ve done in the time between then and February 2022.

And every single day since I began my treatment, I’ve continued working. Comparing my novel today to the one two months ago… they’re pretty much nothing alike. Today, I can only say that I am extraordinarily happy with where my book is.

But I’m going to say something that might surprise you: the secret to my turnaround was not medication. While I did in fact start medication, I still found myself overwhelmed at the prospect of tackling my draft. Until I began working on another tactic recommended for ADHD folks like myself: goal-setting.

Goal-setting

Setting attainable sub-goals for my story progress gave me that extra little bit of motivation I needed to wake up each morning and get right back to work. I personally found success with the S.M.A.R.T. goal framework: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound.

Okay, in my first draft of this blog post, I got a little carried away and started writing in detail each step of S.M.A.R.T. This post is long enough already, and there are tons of guides on the internet going into better detail than I did.

What I really want to give you is an understanding that, to write with ADHD, I needed to set concrete, small, achievable goals – with a deadline. Because what drives me, and what I believe drives many ADHD folks, is that sense of accomplishment when a goal is achieved. That dopamine rush when we can say “I did X” or “I accomplished Y.”

To give ourselves a healthy dose of dopamine, to keep ourselves going, we need to start small. Have an idea in your head? Try to come up with at least a couple small goals to be completed before you even start your vomit draft. Have the theme written down by the end of today, define the characters and their arcs by the end of the week, sketch out the beats by next Tuesday. Those are just examples, but hopefully you get the idea.

If your only goal is “I wanna write a book,” you’re going to be working for weeks or months or years toward that goal. That dopamine rush is so far away, you can’t expect to keep your motivation up for all that time. And if you try to rush it, you will fail: you don’t have time to complete and polish a whole book in a month. No, you need to start small. Small doses of dopamine every few days will give you much more drive to keep going.

The reason my progress sloughed off in early 2022 was because I didn’t have any small, attainable goals on the horizon. I just wanted to “finish the draft.” It was too much for anyone to stick with, let alone someone with ADHD. And even after I got medication, the idea of tackling the massive draft was still overwhelming. Until I gave myself a small goal to start with.

Conclusion

I hope you found this interesting, maybe even a little bit helpful. If you can relate to anything I’ve touched on here, feel free to leave a comment – I’d love to hear your story. While you’re at it, consider following; I’m trying to navigate a world very new to me with this social media presence, so the support would be extremely helpful. Finally, if you know anyone else who may relate to any of these words I’ve written, consider sharing my post with them.

Thank you so very much for reading!

[silver-goggles-guild]

June 2023 Prompts

bingo card made by @fuesch

Remember to create a post for your work once you’re finished, tag us @silver-goggles-guild, and use the hashtag for the month—the tag is “SGG-June23”!

Also, the prompt descriptions are suggestions, not requirements! If you get a different idea from the phrasing of the prompt, go for it!

1. Super – Create icons/art/fic focusing on the main character’s superpowers.

2. Individual - Create icons/art/fic using one individual person for a subject and one dominant, or main color.

3, Close & crowded – For this challenge your icons/art/fic should show two or more subjects in the same scene. For fics, this could be a couple of characters stuck somewhere (in an elevator, room, car, etc).

4. Pop art – For this challenge create icons/art inspired by Pop Art. For fics, write a story involving the main character and a comic book.

5. The dark side – For this challenge your icons/art should be dark. For fics, write the main character as a villain.

6. Do-over – remake something you made a while ago!

7. 1980s flashback - For this challenge we can create icons/art/fics that are themed around/set in the 1980s.

8. Ask the maker – Ask The Maker is where you can ask your favorite makers about how they do that thing. You can ask for tutorials, guides/"How to", or ask any other questions related to their work.

9. Dreams – create icons/art/fic surrounding the main characters dreams, hopes, goals…

10. Retro – “Retro” for the purpose of this activity means "anything older than the year 2000". This can either mean retro look, style and techniques: like 70s-style coloring, 80s grunge, retro fonts, 20s style black-and-white, etc. or retro subjects, like shows from the 90s, shows set in the 80s, movies from the 40s, comics from the 50s,... This could be icons/art in a retro style or a fic that uses a retro setting/props.

11. “I don’t want to go.”

12. “This could be fun.”

13. “Wait, you want me to lie to my parent/parents?”

14. “You’re obviously not fine.”

15. “You came back.“

16. Heat wave

17. Music

18. Beach

19. Surprise

20. Trouble

21. Arcade games

22. Write some new lore for the main character in one of your WIPs

23. Write/draw the character on vacation!

24. Create something of the main character having a movie night with friends and/or family

25. 5 times they tried to give their parent another chance and one time they knew they had to let it go.

Prompt Sources — A, B, C, D

[slimeywooper]

Labmas AU - Retrospective

I uploaded this to AO3 a little over a month ago but forgot to put it here as well.

These are the initial Labmas ideas that I posted before starting the story. I only skimmed over them while writing the first 3 or 4 chapters, so I thought it would be interesting to go over them again and see all the things that changed, got thrown out, or I simply forgot about! The original writing will be in purple font, followed by my thoughts or explanations of certain things from the fic. Some will have long walls of text, and others may have nothing at all.

I suggest reading the story first as this will spoil most everything in it.

The AU is about two hybrid clones of the Subway Bosses Ingo and Emmet. I'm leaning towards it taking place during the Rainbow Rocket shenanigans and being in second/third person, most likely with a reader insert from an alternate dimension where Pokemon don't exist, but the games, for the most part, do exist. I want the reader to know what pokemon are and the general gist of their world, but I don't want them to know the characters. So the reader won't know any of the people they are meeting since they are not in the games that exist in the reader's universe. I guess you can just imagine the reader only has Pokemon Mystery Dungeon type games, nothing with the mainline Teams or protagonists. Now, as thirsty as I am for the Train Men, I really don't plan on having this be a romantic story, maybe some elements but I mostly want to focus on a somewhat existential horror narrative.

In the very first paragraph we have a change. It's not set during Rainbow Rocket, it's set during Black/White. The grunts are described as having their chainmail attire. Colress in this story isn't in charge of Team Plasma like in Black2/White2, only it's science division. However, he's known to be a nasty individual when someone gets on his bad side, so he's given leeway by the grunts, even though he's not technically above all of them, just the lower rungs. As for the romance angle, it actually showed up much more than I thought it would. I was hoping to make a horror story with some romance, but I think it ended up being reversed. More romance, with a teeny bit of horror. The only part that I feel could be considered horror is when Kudari kills Colress' assistant.

The hybrids have Ingo and Emmet's Japanese names Nobori and Kudari. They were created by Colress, who is more of a Biologist/geneticist in this world, his goal being to create the perfect Pokemon. So far he's only had two successful experiments, those being Nobori and Kudari, though they are only considered successful in the sense that they were viable specimens and are currently alive and working alongside him. I view him as very much an opportunist, even in USUM when it appears he might have some remorse for his past actions. To clear up any confusion, the Colress in this story isn't the same one that is met in USUM, I was just stating some parallels between them.

I have more to say about Colress, but I'll save it for a later paragraph. There's a work on AO3 that I think is an amazing character study of Colress in the games. It's long, but goes over different things Colress has done and analyzes them.

An Unkind Person: An (Updated) Analysis of Team Plasma Boss Colress by IcyKali

I really like Colress as a character, and I don't think the canon one is anywhere near as awful as mine is, but he's certainly not a nice person.

Now I'm gonna say something regarding their ages that might bother some people. I'm of the opinion that most of the non playable adult characters in Pokemon are older than they look, barring certain characters like Ghetsis, Cogita, Warden Ingo ,etc. who are clearly drawn do have age lines. My logic being that many of them are in careers or have accomplished goals that would take years to complete. So for my AU, Ingo, Emmet, and Colress are in their early to mid forties, whereas the hybrid twins are in their early to mid twenties. They were created shortly after Colress graduated high school and was recruited by Team Plasma. Ingo and Emmet, graduating from the same high school as Colress, went on to become Subway Bosses and run Gear Station. They are connected to Team Plasma via a mutually beneficial business relationship. Gear Station gets funding from Team Plasma in return for information on the Subway Bosses' most promising challengers.

Everything in here looks the same to what I have in the story! Many fan works have young Submas, which I enjoy, but sometimes when it comes to these characters, I have to wonder how such young people got into positions of respect and power. Unless there is an abundance of young prodigies, which isn't impossible, it's fiction after all, but I like to have some variation in ages. As an extra note about Colress, I will add that he was attending University when he was hired by Team Plasma. It started as an internship, which then became paid employment.

Colress can't stand the Train Bros. I'm still trying to work out exactly what they did to piss him off, but like all good one-sided rivalries, it started in high school. Most likely something having to do with losing a Pokemon battle, and Emmet being extremely blunt, can't help but continually bring it up. Just stupid, petty stuff that has lasted half of Colress' life. Ingo and Emmet's DNA was used by Colress more of as a passive aggressive jab at them, not intending for it to be anything more than a joke. More of a "wouldn't it be funny if I added their genetics to my experiments?"

Colress' reason for his hatred of the Subway Bosses stayed the same, I was just able to flesh it out more.

That's how the hybrid's came about. Not intentionally, but because Colress was feeling like an asshole and wanted to mess around to see what he could do using the Train Bros. DNA, resulting in an "Oh shit" moment when he saw they were viable specimens.

I'm a big fan of Colress as more of an apathetic scientist, but In this story he's pretty much reached the limit of his patience with his line of work/ failed experiments. He never was fatherly towards the twins, only raising them to be tools for Team Plasma. Not out of any love for Team Plasma, but they're the ones funding his research. The hybrid twins are, begrudgingly, his greatest achievement. Colress doesn't hate them, but he greatly resents them, struggling to keep his composure if he deems they are acting immaturely or in a rash manner. They are a constant reminder of how much he hates the Train Bros. (As an aside, I'm going to continue to refer to Ingo and Emmet as the Train Bros. to help differentiate them from Nobori and Kudari since the hybrid twins have nothing to do with trains.) Though he despises the Train Bros., he knows there isn't anything he can really do about them, since their help in recruiting promising Plasma grunts is invaluable to the team. Having to interact with them sporadically and raise the Hybrid Twins has put a huge strain on his mental and emotional well-being, though that's due to his own issues (real or imagined). When Colress is with the Hybrid Twins, he refers to them as Noku, so he can grab both of their attention without using their full names.

Colress… is a terrible person. There's no other way to put it. In whatever way he is capable, he does love the hybrids. Colress doesn't like loving them, he wants to be as critical and logical as possible, but he can't help but care for them, and that upsets him greatly. It's hard for me to put into words exactly how he feels, so this part is going to be all over the place.

Though it's true that Colress regarded Nobori as 'the good one,' Kudari has always been his favorite. Even after he got older, and more unruly, Colress saw him as his lost child. In chapter 14, Nobori proposed a theory to Reader for why Colress is so horrible, that being he's lashing out for his own heartache and disappointment for how Kudari turned out. Colress has always been an asshole, but having to nurture Kudari as a baby really affected him, and he grew to love him. While they were growing up, Colress was strict, but his cruelty towards the hybrids didn't start until Kudari began to withdraw and become rebellious. This was due to him being part Galvantula, which makes him naturally independent, and because he's stuck in the laboratory. When Colress saw the boy that used to follow him around, and even styled his hair in the same way as him, start to decline mentally, it hit him hard. But instead of finding different outlets for Kudari to express his anger and restlessness, he started to punish him for it. What used to be crying fits during his childhood, became enraged tantrums in his preteens and adolescence. Around this time is when Colress first fitted Kudari with his collar, having it readjusted every couple years as he grew.

There's the question of what Colress was hoping to achieve by letting Reader interact with Kudari. He didn't stand to gain anything, unless Kudari really decided to play along and become an active member of his research team. But deep down, he knew that wouldn't happen. It was more of a decision made quickly, to prevent himself from having to hear anymore prodding from Reader, and have someone keep an eye on Kudari, while at least attempting to be productive. Even though he has Reader's help, Colress has been throwing them softballs, knowing they can't live up to what he wants in an assistant. Right after the death of the previous one, he went looking for a replacement, continuing to do so after Reader joined the team. If he had found one, he likely would have just made Reader Kudari's permanent caretaker.

This may be considered cliché by now, but Nobori is a Chandelure Hybrid, and Kudari is a Galvantula Hybrid. They never went through any Pokemon evolution, they were created to be Hybrids of these specific Pokemon. So they weren't born as a Litwick or Joltik Hybrid, they were always a Chandelure or Galvantula Hybrid regardless of age.

I've read different stories and headcanons about various types of hybrid Submas, but these were my favorites. I had pondered what it would be like to have an Elektross Kudari, but the mental image of an eel-man floating around just killed the concept for me, making it too silly for the type of story I wanted.

(As for their physical appearances, I first must admit that I love Warden Ingo. So Nobori's design is modeled after him. So I get to have a story with Ingo and Not Warden Ingo in it, without them being the same person! It's my cake, I should be allowed to eat it too!)

Nothing wrong with this, they are both good!

As far as outward appearance, Nobori doesn't look too different from a regular person until closer inspection. He has the slouched posture, tired eyes, and goatee of Warden Ingo. His skin and eyes are what give him away as a Chandelure Hybrid. Though his skin has the feel and durability of a normal human, it is a light lavender color, while his sclera are a glowing yellow, surrounded by black circles. Unlike a Chandelure, he does have Irises and pupils, but they are the same shade of black, giving the illusion that he just has very large pupils. Over the years, Nobori has been allowed to leave the lab on certain occasions, but he must always wear make up and contacts to keep the façade of normalcy.

For the most part, Nobori's appearance is the same, but I decided to give him the regular gray/silver Submas eye color.

Kudari is much more monstrous in appearance. Ignoring the Galvantula half, he has six eyes, four of which do not blink, and the top two of those four are blind. This creates a small black spot on the very top of his vision. (I don't think this is something that will come up in the potential fic, but it's just some background info on how his body works.) All of his eyes are purple, the main two consisting of light purple sclera and dark purple irises. Similar to Nobori, his irises and pupils are the same color making them look like large pupils. His teeth are sharp (and I'm arguing with myself on whether he should have an extra pair of fangs outside of his mouth for injecting venom.)His torso is the same size as Nobori's, but his arms and stomach are muscular from having to hold himself upright on his Galvantula body, which is much larger than that of a normal Galvantula.

The blindness of his top two eyes was not mentioned. It really didn't add anything to the story, nor does it cause him any issues with his sight. It's something he was born with, so he's learned to ignore it. A large difference here is the color of his eyes. After the initial posting of these notes, I looked at Galvantula again and remembered they didn't have purple eyes, so that had to be changed. Kudari has blue sclera and light blue irises. As for the pupils, I decided that they should be normal. The problem I had with making it appear as if the hybrids had large pupils was that, at least in my mind, it would seem goofy and cartoonish. Which isn't the look I wanted them to have, so that was thrown out. For Kudari's teeth, they are sharp, however, it's not in the way Iono has sharp teeth. They're closer to Anglerfish teeth. He does indeed have fangs, mostly hidden behind his sideburns, but the tips peak out. We don't get to see him use them, though they do start to leak in chapter 15, which embarrasses him.

Nobori and Kudari refer to Colress as "Dr. Colress." They know he created them but are under no illusions to the extent of their relationship with him. Early in their lives, they did yearn for a father and mother figure, but have since accepted their lack of parental affection. Nobori is much more quiet, resigned, and dependable compared to Kudari, who is extremely volatile and angry. This is due in part by his appearance. Whereas Nobori has been allowed to leave the lab, Kudari has never left and is sequestered to specific rooms. This causes some jealousy issues between them.

I would eventually develop the idea of Kudari murdering Colress' assistant shortly after this was written. When he was younger, Kudari was allowed to wander around the lab, for the most part unfettered. Then Colress tried to make him an assistant when he was a teenager, which is when the vents were installed in the laboratory. Once Colress realized Kudari was just screwing around instead of helping, he started to be limited in where he was allowed, culminating with him being sequestered to his room indefinitely(at least without a chaperone present) after he killed the assistant.

Kudari came across as much more pleasant than he was originally conceived. He still retained some of his unstable moodiness, but it wasn't anything as intense or unhinged as I intended. I wanted him to be more of an asshole, but whenever I started writing his dialogue with Reader, it just wouldn't come out that way. It flowed in a way that made him always friendly with them, and excited to hang out. Though writing him as he was originally planned would have been interesting, it would not have made sense to the story. If he were to be an asshole, Reader would have realized their mistake and told Colress that they no longer wanted Kudari around, which would have ended their interactions, Colress giving a smug "I told you so."

I find it very sad that Kudari wanted to surprise Reader with the fact it was his and Nobori's birthday, as opposed to him getting a surprise gift or celebration. He's seen many movies and shows, but doesn't know how to correlate them with his own life. The same thing happened when Reader accidently made a double entendre about touching him in chapter 10. There are plenty of instances in various forms of media where something similar happens, that he understands perfectly, but in the context of his life, he can't envision anything of the sort happening to him.

After spending so much time alone in his room, he begins to live some of his life in his head, twisting the things Reader says. He didn't always have an infatuation for Reader. It only became a romantic interest after he was bitten, and started to think that they loved him, in turn, loving them back. He becomes obsessed with the injury, not wanting it to close because that would erase the reminder of someone loving him. Then later, when Reader mentions wishing they could leave, he interprets this in his fantasies as them wanting to run away with him.

(I should also note, they are only considered brothers because their respective DNA donors are twins, they weren't actually created as one double Hybrid that split into two Hybrids. Ingo's DNA was used to create Nobori, and shortly after, Emmet's DNA was used to create Kudari. They are the same age as each other.)

Noku do share some feelings of comradery due to the circumstances of their birth and upbringing, but they are very different. They are prone to arguments and can even be quite cruel verbally to each other. At times, Kudari has even attempted to physically injure Nobori, but is stopped by either Nobori's flames or the collar Colress has fitted him with, which is capable of administering extreme cold. The collar is around his neck, and when activated, temporarily shoots a needle into his spine that triggers the freezing of his muscles so he cannot move for a short time.

Here we have a divergence from the story. Though the hybrids have had their spats over the years, and Kudari has attacked Nobori multiple times, there was only one instance that could be considered an actual fight. That was when they argued over the space in their shared room, and Nobori had to defend himself. At all other times, Kudari has attacked, but either been stopped by Colress, Nobori teleported away, or it was just a quick warning swipe, followed by Kudari retreating. As for arguments, Nobori is much more likely to try and quell them. While I was writing, he came to be a very caring brother, being the one tasked with looking after Kudari, before and after the incident with the assistant.

If Kudari had been allowed to leave and live on his own, he would have no issues in doing so(other than people trying to hunt him). He cares for Nobori, but he does not need him emotionally, not like Nobori needs Kudari.

I'm not planning on having any Pokemon battles in the story, but I do have an idea on how Noku's moves work. As I previously stated, Colress wants to create the perfect Pokemon. One of the aspects of being "perfect" for him is being able to use all the moves a Pokemon can potentially learn at any time and not having a limit of four. He had theorized that if a Pokemon had higher intelligence, then perhaps that would make them capable of accomplishing. This is what led him to want to experiment making Hybrids. His theory was correct, and Noku can use many different moves, but being half human, they have free will and aren't "trainable" in the same way Pokemon are.

Colress' dream goal is the same, I just forgot to actually explain it in the story, settling for putting it in the notes. As of now, I have no intentions of going back and sneaking it in anywhere. Maybe in a few years time, but, maybe not. I did have him mention a couple things that hint at what he wants. He tells Kudari in chapter 4: "A Pokemon that can't be taught to listen, isn't a Pokemon worth having." And later in chapter 13, he tells the Subways Bosses: "Well, they aren't quite up to snuff with what I was attempting to create, but I believe they are a step in the right direction."

>>This brings me to what exactly Noku are capable of. Nobori can form flames from his hands, and, under extreme emotional duress, he will sometimes spew them from his mouth. Usually only when he's upset and fighting with Kudari. I envisioned him as being able to teleport short distances. Taking a glance at Serebii.net, it doesn't appear Chandelure learns the move Teleport, but they can learn the move Ally Switch which mentions teleporting, so I'm just gonna cheat and say it's close enough. Other moves Nobori uses are Confuse Ray, Night Shade, Substitute, Dark Pulse, Poltergeist, Dream Eater and Ember/Flamethrower/Mystical Fire for fire type moves. Since he was a young boy, he has communicated with spirits that he sees and hears. It looks to other people like he is talking to himself, so he only interacts with them when he is alone, though he is constantly hearing their whispers. Kudari generates electricity from his body and can produce webbing like a normal Galvantula. His fingers are sharp like claws and the moves he usually uses are Spider Web, Screech, Gastro Acid, Bug Buzz, Poison Jab and Thunder Wave/Thunderbolt/Rising Voltage for electric types. In previous generations Galvantula could learn Frustration from a TM, which I also wanted him to know, but I think it would fit more with the story if it's just his state of being, angry and lashing out, as opposed to it being a move he knows.

Noku can use all of the moves that their respective species can learn, however, there are certain moves they use more than others. Most of these aren't displayed in the story, nor did I see any place to put them in. Nobori does teleport, and Colress mentions he's good at hiding in the shadows. Kudari's purple saliva could be taken as Gastro Acid, but most of these listed moves were just meant as examples.

I did think it would be fun for Nobori to be able to use a Chandelure ability detailed in the Pokedex entries: hypnotism. I have this ability work in conjunction with his emotion draining powers. He's able to sense emotions, and if he so chooses, can take them. Normally he doesn't do this, but he first does it to Reader when he senses they are upset. Preceding this happening, Colress introduced Reader to him, and instructed him to "keep an eye out if they need help." So he takes this as an affirmation that it's okay to do so. His hypnotism is different from a Chandelure in that he doesn't use his arms, he uses eye contact. If he takes everything they feel, that person will be left in a catatonic state. At least for a little while. This is what Colress was referencing when he said Nobori could turn Reader into a 'doll.'

As the story progresses, feeling Reader's positive emotions becomes like a drug for Nobori. Especially after he senses the same feeling from them that he's experiencing. When first meeting them, he felt curiosity and an initial physical attraction. Nobori has felt attraction before, but these were only fleeting instances from glances he's made to strangers outside Team Plasma headquarters. He's never interacted with any of these people to develop anything deeper than that.

Part 2 incoming in a separate post.

[bestbonnist]

Chapter 168.1

Now that we know that the people who picked the doll and Kanitarou up are friendly and just happened to see them, that means that the person who was chasing them in the last chapter was someone else. Probably the guy from Chapter 167.1. And probably gonna track the doll to where she's currently hiding out.

Two things. One: we can see a bit of a scar on the mechanic's nose that matches the one on Kai's. The mechanic being amiable with the doll while maintaining a wariness towards her is also a very Kai thing to do. He's very observant. I think at this point he's older than he usually appears once resurrected, and judging from the apparent ages that we saw on their wanted signs, I'm guessing they were freshly resurrected a few years ago.

Second thing: Kai's probably referring to the Beholder/Satoru when he talks about someone who wanted to become human, and not Fushi. Because Fushi's never described themselves as human or discussed their desire to be human after the Takunaha arc. Satoru, on the other hand, was very upfront about wanting to be human, and Kai was there when Messar insinuated that the Beholder wished he was mortal.

I really like that Kai and Eko have both become mechanics. Or Eko has become a mechanic and Kai is her assistant, it's a bit unclear. It's so nice seeing Eko having something that she's passionate about, and that her dream of being able to communicate her thoughts to others has been fulfilled without her having to sacrifice an important part of her identity. And Kai is a blacksmith, so he knows a bit about working with metal and maybe that translates over to engineering somehow? I don't know.

A few notes about this part of the chapter: first, the script that hasn't been translated (because Ooima made it up) says the same thing that appeared in Chapter 166.2 before the doll's flashback.

The only difference is that the percentage that's been restored is marginally higher.

In the original Japanese, the text for the dialogue is in a specific font that's only been used for the person with the blindfold. I've included the raws for comparison.

And finally, the pill is the same one that was around their neck.

Based on the evidence, we can conclude that the doll's "self-identification system" is for her memories, we'll get a flashback every time a bit more of that system is restored, and the pill was an essential part of the process of making her human. We'll probably get the full story when the system reaches one hundred percent, but at the rate we're going it's gonna be a while.

Kai says earlier in the chapter that the mud only responds to human brainwaves specifically and on the final page we see the doll controlling it. df;dfa;dafslkadfs;dasflkj NICE.

How the doll has brain waves and no brain is a bit of a mystery, but the point is that they're implying that it's human already and just stuck in a different form. Which :\ is part of the mystery I guess, clearly the doll has a past involving efforts to become human that it can't remember. I don't love the idea of its backstory being "well, it's not a normal doll, it's a special doll that was secretly human all along." I'm hoping we get something else, because I think the doll being a piece of technology who's human anyways is more in line with what the manga's had to say about humanity so far. Like, maybe experimenting to make it human failed, or the experiment was just to make a program that thinks it's human, because thinking you're human = actually being human. I would imagine that learning that would really fuck the doll up, because in that case everything it's been trying to do in the name of proving that it's human was just more proof that it's not. And that's what I would do if I were Ooima because she loves to think of the worst possible thing that would happen to a character and then do that (compliment).

Still, no matter what the doll's backstory turns out to be, I'll be into it as long as it adds more layers to her character and to the story. Which it will because this is Ooima we're talking about :)

[toku-fangirl-2015]

My 2023 bullet journal setup!

New year, new notebook! 2023 will be my 5th year (!) doing a bullet journal. I'm using a B5 size journal from Archer & Olive, which is the same size and brand I used for my 2022 journal. I like having the extra space (the most popular size is A5, which is a little smaller).

My cover page features Celeste from my favorite new-to-me thing of 2022, Animal Crossing New Horizons. She shows up on your island when there are shooting stars, and she'll tell you stories about the constellations and give you space-related DIY recipes. (More pics and details under the cut)

Next in my new journal setup is a grid spacing sheet and a page for theme ideas, broken down into different categories. I used the theme ideas page last year when I was having trouble deciding what to do, so my list is a little bit shorter until I come up with more ideas to replace the ones I used in this past year.

My final new-notebook-setup spread is what I call "scribble sheets." You could also put a brain dump page here. This is my place to try out different color schemes, test markers to see if they still work, or practice different doodles and font styles. Basically I'm giving myself permission to be messy here, because I like to keep the rest of my journal looking neat and pretty.

I combined my 2023 cover page and future log, which is really only possible because I'm using a B5-size notebook. The months are kind of hard to see in the photo, but they're written in with white gel pen on top of the black headers. I used an exacto knife to trim away the washi tape that overlaps some of the boxes, to make it look like it's behind the box. I had to be careful to make sure I wasn't cutting through the paper too, but I really like the effect.

I kept the style pretty simple throughout this setup because I'm trying out a bunch of new spreads (I normally just do a future log at the beginning of the year and maybe one or two others). I wrote everything in a bubble font or a typewriter-style font, and added little star doodles and washi tape. I also kept the white lettering on black headers, which is much easier to read in person.

My new spreads are all inspired by JashiiCorrin on YouTube. I'm excited to do the "Now and Again," which is basically one of those ask memes that make the rounds here. You fill it out at the beginning of the year, and then again at the end. For the year in pixels, I'm keeping track of how much sleep I get and also what hobbies I'm doing. I was in kind of a rut in 2022 so I want to get back to doing more creative things. I have different symbols to draw rather than coloring in the boxes with different colors, because I don't like having to keep track of all the different color pens to fill the trackers in. It looks pretty, but for me it's not worth the hassle.

I've been doing a monthly cleaning log, but I like the idea of only having to write it out once for the whole year. Should save me some time with my monthly setups. My 23 things to do are also broken down into categories: chores, things at the top of my watchlist, craft projects that I have the materials for but haven't done yet, and a few miscellaneous things that I want to get done.

Snapshots of the year is another one that I'm excited to try. In the first box, I penciled in a few ideas of things to write for each month. I've been doing daily highlights pretty much since I started my journal, so I think it will be fun to add some monthly highlights too. Media consumed is divided into books, movies, and TV shows.

My final setup spread is one that I actually did a couple years ago at the end of the year, inspired by Plant Based Bride on YouTube. While I liked having a mini version of all my cover pages, doing it at the end of the year left me trying to remember exactly which supplies I used for each month. My plan for this year is to do the mini version along with my monthly setup, and then by the end of the year they'll all be filled in so I can look back at everything without having to recreate 12 themes all at once.

Bonus pic of my favorite new idea, also from JashiiCorrin: a grid spacing ruler! It's like the grid spacing page at the beginning, but since it's a separate paper, you can use it to actually measure thirds or halves or whatever without having to count the individual boxes. I have the horizontal measurements written on the other side. It's already come in super handy.

[honeysuckle-venom]

Discussion of weight, BMI, medical fatphobia, weight loss medications, ed triggers, internalized fatphobia, desire to relapse, and other related content. No numbers, ultimately recovery oriented but pretty honest about the relapsey feelings

Overall the hepatologist appointment a week ago was good. She said mostly the same thing as the surgeon; it's good to be off the birth control, I'm not in danger currently unless I go back on any estrogen based medication or become pregnant; I need another MRI in a few months to monitor the tumors. She didn't have time to look at the MRI images before the appointment as they take a while to upload, but promised to look at them with the radiologist and surgeon there and call me once she'd looked.

She did mention weight loss could be the one other factor that might help shrink the tumors. Going off the birth control is the biggest thing by far, but she said weight loss might help. I tried to make it fairly clear that I wasn't interested in that, that I had a history of anorexia and was not looking to pursue weight loss at this time. She backed off, and it was okay. But then when I was leaving they handed me a paper with information about the visit, and in big font on the first page it listed my height, weight, and BMI. I'd resigned myself to knowing my weight a few months ago bc of all of these doctor's appointments, but it's been at least 5 years since I've known my BMI, and that was a very conscious choice on my part. I know BMIs are bullshit, but I used to be dangerously obsessed with them and it's an even bigger trigger than weight or calorie numbers are for me. So that was really distressing, and has been bothering me and making food even more difficult than normal for the past week.

Today, thankfully during my therapy session, the doctor called back to discuss the MRI images and her consultation about them with the other doctors. And she again brought up my weight, said that the other doctors all suggested weight loss, and that there was a new type of weight loss drug she could put me on. I lost it, and my therapist stepped in and explained why that was a bad idea. It was one of the most triggering conversations I've had in a very, very long time.

I used to be quite thin, but gained an extreme amount of weight very quickly when I was put on psychiatric medication (esp seroquel) as a teenager. My psychiatrist tried to counteract this by giving me incredibly fucked up advice about what to eat and by putting me on diabetes medication (I'm not diabetic) for its off-label use as an appetite suppressant/weight loss drug. When that had bad side effects she tried to put me on weight loss shots, but I refused. But she spent years pushing various forms of weight loss medication, and it was honestly somewhat traumatic bc of the way it was done/tied up in my ED history.

I stopped seeing that psychiatrist a few years ago, and my current therapist knows I still have an eating disorder, even though it's no longer strict anorexia, and that pursuing intentional weight loss would be incredibly detrimental for me. She's worked to communicate this to my current PCP, and overall I've been fortunate enough not to have people constantly pushing weight loss like I used to expect. So today just really, really took me off guard and upset me. Someone telling me I needed a weight loss medication brought up sooo many triggered thoughts and feelings. I'm very skittish about medication in general, have a lot of medical and medication-based trauma, and have been trying to recover from decades of disordered eating and shame about my body. It was honestly one of the worst, most destabilizing things that could have happened to me.

I'm doing a bit better this evening, but I'm still really upset. I can feel all the different parts of my brain fighting. Part of me wants to cling to recovery and intuitive eating and anti-diet work and all of that stuff, and I know that's the right thing. But so many other parts of me are telling me that it's wrong and weak and bad and dirty and ugly and selfish and lazy and and and and. That I should listen to doctors, that I should diet, that I should relapse, that I should take the pills, that I should get weight loss surgery, that I should never allow myself to be okay with being fat. And I know that's wrong. I know. But the internal fighting and conflict between different world views is vicious right now. It makes me feel dizzy and sick and psychotic and desperate and scared and angry. It's awful. It's just really awful.

[goshen-applecrumbledore]

Hello! 22, 44, 71 for the fanfic asks! :D

hey friend!!! guess what everyone, I met grace IRL this weekend and it's so crazy to think that we're all real physical humans out there! hi grace

22. Describe your writing process from scratch to finish.

it is so haphazard lol. I guess like..

I get an idea for a fic. this is usually a very small kernel of a thing or a line of dialogue. acid came out of that jeffrey dahmer conversation they have. living in God's blind spot was "what if sam jerked off for dean in front of their dad wouldn't that be fucked up or what"

I write in Google docs, mostly on my phone, but recently I got a lil keyboard for my ipad and I've also been using that

I make a bullet point outline of scenes. ideally I'll have the whole outline done this way before I start writing but usually there are gaps. I delete my outlines when I'm gone a fic so I don't have any to share, but depending on how fleshed out a scene is, the notes are anywhere from specific dialogue and actions to "they go to the vics house, find out x"

I start usually at the beginning, but I also have other stuff written. eg with the time travel fic, the doc is ~58k words and 1,825 words are chunks of scenes that haven't happened yet, and 1,123 are notes/outlines. the notes/outlines are always just thrown into the doc too, in hot pink font. I just push them down the page as I write. it's not good

I write! usually on my phone when I'm supposed to be working.

I edit my own stuff when it's done. that's also not very good but I'm used to it. I'll switch fonts or switch it into light mode or post a draft on AO3 to read it in a new context that helps me catch typos

that's all I can think to say. not particularly remarkable

44. Any writing advice you want to share?

I got into some specific style related writing advice on this ask a long time ago so I won't repeat myself on that stuff

the other thing I'll say is, I guess.. do you ever read a writer who doesn't seem like they're having fun? or takes themselves too seriously? like, there's a lack of joy to the work? I have. I think it's noticeable and I think it shows. everyone should be able to find a way to make writing fun.

71. How do you balance writing and life? do you ever feel overwhelmed by the amount of writing you have to do?

I hadn't read this question when I answered the previous one, but my answer is the same, haha. I don't think of it as 'amount of writing I have to do' because I'm just doing this for me. I guess it's different when you're in challenges or exchanges or bangs, which while very cool are also very stressful.

so! I think I balance it by.. I do write a lot, but I also have a pretty chill life. one partner and no kids, working from home. I only have a few other hobbies besides writing, so writing is My Main Thing. i'm deeply privileged with the amount of time I have to write about two fictional brothers touching dicks these days, and I'm grateful for that. when I was younger and didn't have as much time: it felt very delicious to steal moments of writing when I was supposed to be doing other things. in classes and on the bus. that helped it feel like balance.

(for the fic writers ask game)

[ali3nboyfriend]

since art warmups are both a creative exercise to get you in the correct mood for art and a physical preparation of your muscles so you don’t hurt them (think like an athlete stretching before a proper workout):

1) it’s never a bad idea to have a dumb, silly side-project you can “get the bad writing out” with. it primes your brain to be in the right mood for your actual project and lets you spit out whatever comes to mind so that when you start on your main project, you’re already primed and in a good flow.

(you do run into the risk of getting very attached to this project and making it your main one)

there are also speed-writing exercises that accomplish similar things. just googling, i’ve found this post full of writing warmups:

if your problem however is a matter of executive dysfunction, find a routine that works for you, execute it the EXACT SAME WAY every time, and don’t be afraid to pivot away from it if it stops working, because if you try and cling to it it will take longer to rebound from the burnout. a routine works in a similar way, priming your brain for the task so once you start it you’re already in a good flow. the side-project, if you make one, can be part of this routine, as can warmups like the ones i linked.

i can’t rec StimuWrite 2 enough as a good distraction-free writing app that helps keep ADHD and other neurodivergent brains on task. even if you aren’t (or don’t think you are) neurodivergent i’d suggest trying it out. it has different typing sounds, backgrounds, and fonts that help keep your brain stimulated while writing; understimulation is a major reason why neurodivergent brains can struggle so hard with it. i actually have a hard time writing without the typewriter sound it has now.

i usually use this full screen on one window with the fireplace sounds going + a video game music mix on another window, also full screen unless i need to be referencing something. my go-to mix is Calming Destiny 2 Music Up To Lightfall. video game music is specifically made to make you focus on what’s in front you and it’s been a huge crutch for me when it comes to writing for that reason

2) physically, i’d look into ergonomics irt how you should be sitting while at a keyboard, if a standing desk would be good for you, what sort of chair to use, whether or not to get a pad for your wrists in front of your keyboard, etc. writing is a very sedentary task, true, but you’re still using your body and it’s important to take care of it. the same sort of tips and tricks you can find for office workers can be very helpful in general.

look away from your screen and focus on something far away every 20 minutes, and get up to stretch at least once an hour.

being a self-taught artist with no formal training is having done art seriously since you were a young teenager and only finding out that you’re supposed to do warm up sketches every time you’re about to work on serious art when you’re fuckin twenty-five

[scyphosunny]

vargastober day 7 ! i'm really proud of this one .

let's see . . . ( checks notes

overall , i was really excited for this one ! as i mentioned in day six's entry , i was SUPER EXCITED FOR THIS PROMPT . i basically just added it for myself , i remember texting brusk about it saying that it would be a sick prompt , but i didn't want to add it because i didn't want to add sidefic related stuff . i wanted to focus on the actual thing ! still , i added it because i still needed prompts to finish the list and because idc IT COULD BE A SICK PROMPT . WHATEVER

when i was randomizing everything and got this one at 7 i also smiled mischievously . >:]]]] i really love diaryverse and everything related to it , as much as it TRAUMATIZED ME not in a joke silly goofy way i still go back and read it from time to time . IT'S JUST SO GOOD , LOVE THE HORROR THE HALLUCINATIONS THE VULNERABILITY BOTH OF THEM HAVE it's just PERFECT

i've always loved stories that make me feel like diaryverse do . back when i was 13 and still reading kpop fanfiction ( ??????? ) finding stories like this was GODDAMN HARD , so vargas really came to save my life . i could talk about diaryverse for ages , man . JUST SO ABSOLUTELY GREAT

ALRIGHT , where was i . . . i was really excited for this prompt ! and days ago , back to that day when i got ideas set for some prompts ( and then lost the canvas on accident ) i got this super sick idea for it ! and i was really looking forward to draw it . even if i lost all of the references i got together , i stiill had this one because when i saw it i got so excited i sent it to my friends . so lololol . day 6 , i get to work on that day's piece . . . finish it . i like it ! post it , think about the one tomorrow . . . . . .

and realize .

without noticing , i made something too similar on day six . they would be almost the same , just with different brushes , colors and art style . and i was like . god . gggooooddd . I BASICALLY RUINED THE WHOLE THING THANKS TO DAY 6 , I WAS SO FRUSTRATED UGH so i had to search for a new reference because i didn't want to make the same thing with a different font .

so , i searched .

and searched ,

and searched . . .

and searched for THE LONGEST TIME EVER

i didn't have a clear image of what i wanted to do in the first place , i just wanted funky colors and that small sense of uneasiness . THIS WOULD BE MY FIRST DIARYVERSE COLORED PIECE , SO MANY POSSIBILITIES .

i went through a lot of different ideas . something colorful , something dream-like , idk maybe just draw edgar on the halls of a hospital looking all creepy and distorted and slap some butterflies on it . SO MANY THINGS TO DO i was like uhhh maybe just search for a thing with actual meaning to it but i suck at that . i really do . most of these will be about looking cool and not to sit down and think about it for half an hour . if you want pieces full of meaning just go to hawker's account . SHE'S THE BEST AT IT even if she has like , a couple of vargas illustrations . I WISH I HAD HER ABILITY TO THINK idk

i remember that while i was searching for references , i found this super cool piece that MOVED , and my brain was like HHHEYY I WANT TO DO THAT . WHAT IF I MAKE THE BUTTERFLIES MOVE IDK

at the end , i just found a reference that was easy enough to work with . my canvas was just a mess of different references because i really didn't have a specific picture and it was ANNOYING . but at the end i just went with that one .

( this is the reference , by the way . . . i couldn't find who made it . I HATE YOU PINTEREST )

sketching . . . this whole thing SHOULD be easy because you're not even seeing his face , you WON'T see his face so YOU DON'T NEED TO DRAW IT , RIGHT ?

( sigh . . . . )

didn't look good in the first place but NOT LIKE IT WOULD BE VISIBLE ANYWAY . i tried to make his hair longer for this piece

i was drawing this in a dark room , then i add this color and my eyes immediatly went NNNOPE

i used to have really saturated colors as backgrounds back when i drew my ocs a lot . my logic for it was " when you're painting , it's hard to see if you left blank spaces !! but with this as a background they're easier to spot !!! " which was fair tbh but as much as i was used to it before I'M NOT RIGHT NOW

lol i would just leave them like this because i didn't have better ideas for backgrounds anyway .

I LOVE THESE COLORS , this was just an excuse to make drawings with my favorite colors on them . sssuper pretty

i struggled to set the eyes at first . eyes . . . god , EYES . I COULDN'T REMEMBER FOR THE LIFE OF ME WHICH EYE EDGAR SCOOPED OUT IN VIOLATION . i was certain it was the left one , then i changed it for the right one because i have SOMETHING to remind myself which one it is , something i DON'T WANT TO MENTION AND I HATE but it's there . i can't even give a correct answer because I'M STILL CONFUSED ABOUT IT AND I'M ALMOST SURE I GAVE RYE THE WRONG ANSWER but it's fine because they still got it right at the end . ah well . if i'm wrong , then my way of knowing is ALSO WRONG which is BAD but i'll refuse to explain . ( shivers

at this point i should just ask zarla directly . i'm going towards left , though . . .

SWIRLY EFFECT IN THE BACKGROUND WAS SO FUN TO DO i just added a blue layer above the background and then started stirring it with the liquify tool . I LOVE YOU LIQUIFY TOOL

this is what it looked like full opacity and as cool as it looks would be kinda distracting so eh

hahahah stirrrr stir aroundddd sssooo fun !!!!!!!

I REALLY LOVED HOW THE BUTTERFLIES CAME OUT ! i took all of these out of pinterest , i don't know if i should add links . . .

at first , i was planning to leave that moth just white ! but once all the rest of the butterflies were done i just painted it idk

moths , butterflies . . . idc , scriabin mentioned moths at some point too .

instead of watching videos while drawing i just listened to a lot of koraii this time . their songs just fit the vibe !!!

TIME TO MAKE THE GIF !!!!! it was actually quite easy . alight motion best app ever . i just exported everything separately and added a small shaking effect . i wanted it to shake just enough so you had to double check if the thing was moving or not LOLZ . hmm , now that i think about it , it would've been cool if every butterfly had their own shake effect . maybe next time . . .

i also added a bit of sharpen to the pic because why not . i exported the gif in the highest quality possible but tumblr didn't like it . so i had to make sure it wasn't too heavy . . .

TUMBLR STILL DIDN'T LIKE IT and got the quality all messed up , so i had to replace it with the pic like five seconds after uploading it . ugh . now i have a bunch of files on my phone , one of them being a 55mb gif that i can't even post anywhere because it'll start to make everything laggy . I HAVE NO EXPERIENCE WITH THIS REALLY

anyway HERE IT IS . SUPER COOL AND FINISHED . this might be one of my best pieces .

i don't know if i'll work on today's prompt , yesterday i made a thing so i could get my ideas together and i don't have anything for this one . well , i do have something , but it can also work for tomorrow . maybe i'll work on it later . rright now i'll watch something with nyne . XPPP

see you later !!!!!!!!!

[valcuda]

Okay, I wrote a test page for Scela's story, to help figure out how I want to write it. I'm thinking I'll have her be the narrator, telling the story to the reader.

This is what I wanted to do for Skizzy as well, cause it lets it be a bit more personal, and also be in first person while still having of the advantages of a narrator.

Anyways, here's the test page. (Note: Everything written small is meant to be in a different font, but Tumblr doesn't support font swapping. I was gonna use different colors, but that didn't look good.)

Scela Test Page:

Sulna, Ira Scela. His untla jenf ira, fik rixes sela iyagex Valcuda, fik garaplix cansales pu vux gaurix.

Sorry, you don't speak Selaguix, do you? Do you even know how to read it correctly? No, no of course you don't, you're a 'fela', a human, not many care to learn Selaguix anymore.

Well, I guess I'll just have to translate everything to Felaguix for you.

But, since I'm a native Selaguix speaker, I'll give you a brief overview of it, so you can at least pronounce it 'uik', correctly.

To start, although we use similar symbols, some of them are pronounced differently. For starters, f is pronounced as a soft "th", so it isn't "Fella guix" it's "Thay-la-goo-eex". The irony of it is that f is associated with your kind, the 'fela'. The next is k, which is pronounced as "ch", like "chirp". Then there's a, pronounced as "au", e as "eh", i as "ee", o as "oh", u as "ou", and the rest are pronounced as you usually would, with 2 exceptions, S and V. You might be 'foluixroto', thinking, "How do you make the ff sound?", since we use f for "th". Well, a V can be pronounced as either "ff" or "vv", we don't differentiate between them. You can pronounced 'vernel' as "veh-ern-nel" or "feh-ern-nel", and everyone will know what your talking about. It's the same with S, it can be pronounced as either "Ss" or "Zz". So "Seh-la-goo-eex" and "Zeh-la-goo-eex" both mean the same thing.

Isn't it 'talo', fun, to learn a new language? Even if just the basics? It's strange how time changes things, isn't it? All those many 'mauligex' ago, or years ago, back when my journey took place, it seemed as though everyone could speak Selaguix.

Oh yes, you didn't understand the first thing I said, did you?

Well, let's get this story started for real, though I guess I'll have to tell you a mere translation of it, from Selaguix to Felaguix.

Hello, my name is Scela. This is a story about me, and a person named Valcuda, and our journey to save then world. To defeat a monster, who wished to tear it apart.

Test Page End

I might use that as the opening, for the first draft at least, since I did write it as it was one, and I think it works well enough, though that is just meant to be test.

I think it's important to write a test page for every main and side character, since it lets you get a better idea of how they talk, and see what you do or don't want to do with them.

For Scela, I want her to come across as thinking she's superior, talking down everyone. I also think I want to give a minor dislike for "felaguix".

I don't know exactly what I want to do for Valcuda, though I guess I won't be having any chapters with his POV, so I don't have to worry about it too much. I know I want him to come across as strong, honorable, and courageous at least.

[hbelcherarts246-01]

Process & Reflection (Week 7)

Text Reflection

This week's chapter of the text discussed several very interesting typographic concepts, specifically concepts that pertain to the evolution of typographic technology.

I found it really interesting to read about the evolution of typographic design, from its very basic origins to its refined and versatile modern form. I especially found phototypesetting to be a really interesting method of designing typefaces. I had never heard of this method before reading this chapter, and I think it is something I would like to try someday.

I also found the brief section about the world of possibilities that modern screen-based typography has opened up for graphic designers interesting. The images reminded me of an article I recently read about the new standard, so to speak, for resumes and cover letters. While we've all been taught for years to develop an eye-catching and professional resume to get the attention of potential employers, with the introduction of AI algorithms, this is no longer the best idea.

If you include graphics or other interesting elements, such as a versatile and interesting display font, the AI algorithms will skip over your resume, costing you a job. This is particularly devastating to creatives looking for professional work because creative resumes and portfolios have always been the unquestioned norm.

I know that this train of thought is a bit tangential, but the side-by-side comparison in the textbook of what web-based typography used to look like at its very beginnings versus what it looks like nowadays was very striking. It’s upsetting and confusing that we have, with the introduction of AI, somehow gone backward.

Process

This is the part of the blog that I have been very anxious to write about. I don't want to overshare with strangers on the internet, but it’s been a difficult month.

I've been struggling with mental health as a result of a “domino effect” of family crises that all happened over the span of the last 2 weeks. I’ve been living in fight or flight the last few weeks because terrifying, unreal-feeling things keep happening and I feel like my family and world are falling apart.

My dad got sick a few months after I started college and he’s been in and out of the hospital ever since then. A few weeks ago, he was admitted to the ICU. My mom didn’t say anything about it to me until a week later, when he caught an infection from the hospital.

My boyfriend took a day off work to drive me to the hospital where my dad was originally admitted. I got to see my brothers, which was a little comforting. I’m so grateful to have them and my boyfriend. They keep me grounded and I really hope I do the same for them.

I tried to fill in as a parent and be there for my brothers as much as I could, but I’m bad at comforting people. I’m still trying to be there for them, even though I’m back in Columbia now. My mom has been in a New Jersey mental health facility since November, so they’re alone.

My dad is in a different hospital now, but it’s a much cleaner one than the first. He’s still fighting off the infection he caught from the other hospital.

I haven’t been sleeping and I'm exhausted. I’ve been spending most of my “down time” struggling to keep up with my classes’ assignments and projects. I feel like I’ve fallen behind. I’ve neglected a lot of other responsibilities like taking care of my physical health.

I'm just trying to do damage control at this point. I spoke to one of my professors about what my next steps should be, but I need to speak to my other professors still. I'm going to email/possibly meet with my advisor as well, because she helped me make it through a similar emergency with my family last year. I have an appointment at the Student Health Center on March 4th for counseling, which I need right now.

There's honestly nothing I want more than to go back to normal, sleep, and try to deal with what's happening and how I'm feeling through my projects.

Past project; original music festival logo on left and revised/final version on left.

Current project; envelope experiments (top) and pattern/typeface mood board (bottom).