#sam and max ask blog

[freelancepolicedotcom]

Did you guys know your my blorbos? My skrunglys? Scrimblos even?

“Are you having a seizure? I hope it’s a seizure.”

“I think it’s trying to display affection Max.”

“Grody”

[freelancepolicedotcom]

// mod here, again haha. I really fucking love this blog and everything we’ve done in the short time it’s been running. I will continue to answer as many asks as I can before this place is gone. I’ll be backing up my blog, both personally and attempt to save it to the internet archive

Again, my discord server would be the best place if you want to stay in contact with me. I’m also down to roleplay S&MFP with anyone who’s 18+ (nothing against the kiddos I just don’t want to be in a child’s dms)

// I will continue to answer as many asks possible until we go down. For more of my Sam and Max writing, I’m working on a fanfiction that will be posted to my ao3. Here’s some of it =)

I have just received the news that tumblr might be shutting down. This is devastating news for me. I’ve been on tumblr for years, many different blogs and many different names but still. So many years of my life has been spent on this website. Tumblr is the thing that showed me the world of fanfiction and roleplaying. Tumblr has been the place for me to spend my time online.

If you still want to remain friends with me I’m on other platforms but I’m most active on discord.

I have a discord server and it’s supposed to be 15+ but since this is an “emergency” situation I’ll allow people younger to join. Just let me know so I can give you a special role

[cinderellas-humble-narrator]

okay so everything that happened in order:

tw for a bit of freaky stuff

party arrived at hank greens

tried to kill hannah and failed

tried to give hannah a wiggly doll and failed

met ethan

tried to kill ethan

saw Eddie and tom fighting

went over there instead

jeri:

broke all of janes windows

charlotte:

seduced then proceeded to make love to tom

jerry:

stole eddies hat

proceeded to save a horse

jeri:

went off to bother ethan

grace chasity comes running in and needs peoples help

takes them to the waylon place

jeri shoves charlotte down a hole in the floor

charlotte survives by landing on max iagermans corpse

grace gets them to help bury the body

jeri eats maxs arm

mr youngs ghost appears and tells them to stop

jeri hits grace over the head with a shovel

jerry stabs jeri

charlotte shoots jerry

mr young is confused as fuck

lex shows up

helps charlotte pick up the jerries bodies and graces unconscious body and runs

the doors locked

charlotte casts avada kadavera somehow and Mr young + Max's ghost disappear

the door unlocks

charlotte and lex run into the witchwood

lex sees lumber axe in the woods

they drop the bodies and run

LUMBER AXE HAS THE SADDEST MOMENT SEEING HIS PARENTS DEAD BODIES AND SOFTLY LIKE TRIES TO WAKE THEM UP

charlotte shoots lumber axe dead.

charlotte and lex try to break the 4th wall

they end up in the black

wilbur almost gets seduced

he kicks them out of the black

they try and break the 4th wall again

they end up in the white

they meet webby at a castle

webby uses hannah and sends lex and charlotte back to the real world

they break the 4th wall successfully the 3rd time

lex tries to rizz up dm and fails

dm sends them back to tony greens

lex and charlotte go home

lex passes out and cries herself to sleep

charlotte gets home

she walks in on sam and zoey

she fails to kill sam and runs to the bar

she meets Ted at the bar and tells him everything

ted and her bang

THE END!

please kill me.

[dogboyklug]

so if you both have your powers now, have you ever decided to combine them in horrible and disturbing ways?

Max: I don't recall any time we even considered doing that!

Sam: Don't say "recall", Max. Or "considered", for that matter.

Sam: But now you've got me thinking...

Max: Uh-oh. Watch out, ladies, this big boy's about to have a thought!

Sam: Shut up, Max.

Sam: Thanks to years of vigorous training, we conveniently have the ability to emulate a few of the toys of power with pure energy alone.

Sam: Max has his rhinoplasty and teleportation powers, while I have my USB, High-Power Magnet and RAM abilities.

Max: I really hope you didn't say anything too important just now, Sammy. I got caught up in remembering how I used to be a giant freakish kaiju roaming the streets of New York and destroying all in my path (except you), and now I'm stuck being small and squishy again.

Sam: Well...

Sam: Wait, I think I know just what we can do with our available powers!

Max: My interest has been piqued!

Sam: Just give me a few moments to find my watercolors...

Max: I feel the deep urge to start screaming one of America's greatest memes!!!

Sam: You crack me up, li'l buddy!

[sammymax-headcanons]

Oooh! Headcanon blog ! Smart !!

Okay, here's some headcanons!

Geek:

Shes most certainly their adopted daughter, duh.

They give me she/they nonbinary vibes, i also see her as aro/ace.

I can see them calling sam 'dad' and just calling max 'Max' whitch angers max so much, lol.

Sam:

I see him as a trans guy and bi, also demiromantic and maybe poly.

Hes the kinda guy that writes fanfics but is terrible at it.

He'd also probably give a child a gun if someone asked him to babysit.

Max:

He seems genderfluid (he/she/it/any pronouns) also gives me aroflux leaning on aro vibes.

I feel like he'd favor feminine clothes. Like, colorful clothes that if you stare at it too long, your eyes will melt.

Also he's the kinda guy who writes fanfics and their actually surprisingly good.

I also feel like if he put more thought and time into his art, it'd look really good-but he just doodles for fun.

Those are just my silly headcanons :3

max totally makes a game out of how many times he can criticize Sam's writing before his life is in danger

[hailtothekingofthecards]

Thoughts on Max and his husband Sam?

They're...a thing. I mean that in a good way. They've been partners for a long time, even if they've divorced and married like what? 9 times? 19? It was a big number...Max always asks Sam what their next wedding'll be like. They said they'll invite me and the others next time....never one for formal events though.

I'm still wondering if Max'll be a good weapon against the deadites.

[detectivehole]

i’ve been here since the sam and max era, through the evil dead stuff, through the lupin, through the uhhh i can’t remember the other eras i know there was a bunch and now your oingo boingo posting

ive oingo boingo posted long before you were here by those metrics, anon. oingo boingo posting is actually one of the older traditions- im just having a moment rn

[tuxedokit-sys-selfships]

👨‍👨‍👦‍👦 for Sam

👨‍👨‍👦‍👦 = would you like to rasie a family with your f/o? (if you aren't already)

yes but also i think that would be disastrous <3333 that kid would have the most hectic childhood ever, and chances are theyd grow up to be just as chaotic as max, considering he would also be their dad

[askbendyandpals]

YIPPIE I'M NO LONGER SICK!!! Although I still can't draw because of my tablet :[

But yay! I can move around and actually go to school again! And also, I've recently found out from my family that it may not be my tablet that is broken and maybe my laptop, and I'm currently looking into that, so let's hope that this problem will be solved soon!!

I'm still very much happy though :]

[maxthepeoplebitinglagomorph]

MAX, YOU'RE MY FAVORITE LITTLE LAGOMORPH BALL OF ENERGY <3 KEEP BEING A LITTLE MENACE ILY

" I'm 37."

[merfolk-monika]

little buddy what happened to you

i crashed the Desoto by Bosco's and the particles collided so fast an explosion happened and I woke up with my face torn off slapped onto some chicks face

[freelancepolicedotcom]

Bark

“What? Were you expecting me to bark back? Just because I’m a dog doesn’t mea-“

“SAM, LOOK ITS THE MAILMAN!”

“WHERE?! I’M GONNA GET THAT SLIMEY BASTARD RIGHT IN THE KEISTER-“

“There is no mail man, is there Max?”

“Nope!”

[bigsnoot]

Made this pic and then mikalowedeon (his username on twitter) and I came up with how Sam said this as a kid to the counter at Mcdonalds (his parents or granny ruth tried to get him to order something by himself and he was nervous), and the employees thought it was cute and gave him a cheeseburger meal so he just kept saying this each time he went to Mcdonalds for a burger with this exact expression.

[mysticmagics]

Happy New Year ya wild animals

This year is likely gonna be me procrastinating After Burner and The New Era 2 (don't forget to check out @the-new-era-of-witches cuz guess what that's a text-based ask blog too bitches) And making some new fishy angst and doing some Sam and Max stuff Don't forget my BATIM ask blog @ask-last-ditch

Oh, and maybe I'll work on that special story I've been planning

If you have any suggestions on what I should do, send em in my Ask Box

[mack-timelines]

Alright the kitty questions are done 

Time to get serious!

How were you guys not captured yet?  I  imagine Flint. had a lot of enemies in the navy and hearing how he’s now dead would jump at the opportunity to finally destroy his crew and ship 

(he doesnt like talking about it, because he starts talking about sam which makes it worse)

[impostorsshow]

Sometimes you just listen to a TikTok audio and get the need to make a post about a self destructive cycle your in only to never acknowledge the post again yknow

The song is Don't Smoke by Mitski, specifically the TikTok version is the Audiotree Live version