#salmon hats are back!!!!!!

[florida3exclamationpoints]

BIG things happening in the whale fandom!!!! Orcas are wearing salmon hats again!!!!!

[fisheito]

OMG. that means... Cloaca Crew........

WAIT.

✨C l o a c a C r e w✨

[ksksksrahrah]

Sketch of @suwawa-sana and my 2024 snow miku!

[risingsunresistance]

shoutout to this guy in my lobby who i didn't even know was in my lobby kjhfkg

[lasersquid]

[runs in soaking wet, panting, out of breath] SALMON HATS ARE BACK! [runs out]

[barladera]

Orcas are back to wearing fish as hats soo

*tips salmon*

[clawsdevour]

last customer

wc: 0.6k content warning: post-time skip, osamu x reader, fluff, not proofread

⠀ೀ * : ,,,

it's cold and frosty out as you made your way down the concrete sidewalk to the brightly lit restaurant. the snow's starting to pile up, each snowflake landing on your flushed cheeks before you're under the roof of the address on your phone.

stiff fingers gripped on the doorhandle as you pushed it open, the warmth of the restaurant immediately rushing towards you as you sighed out of relief as the bell rang at the top of the door.

the ringing caught the owner's attention from the kitchen. sticking his grey head of hair out from the kitchen doorframe, he looked at you with confusion before checking his watch.

"um.. hi!" immersing yourself in the heated restaurant as you stood by the door staring back at his figure.

"hi, i'm sorry we just closed.." his brown eyes peering back at you from his watch with concern as he noticed how cold it must be outside.

"oh- i'm sorry.. i thought i'd arrive before your shop would close," looking down at your shoes wehre your toes are absolutely frozen despite having fluffy socks on before turning your body towards the door that showed the chilling winter night through the glass.

right when you were about to head out as the bell rung due to the movement of the door just slightly moving, the owner calls back at you while you heard the restaurant's air vents turn on.

"wait, since you've come so far in this freezing weather i might as well whip something up!" his deep voice shouted from the kitchen, catching your attention.

you felt bad since he was almost done getting ready to close, but you couldn't turn down his offer. his face was as grey as his hair with a slightly worried expression plastered on his face.

"..okay, sure! i'd love that," your lips jolted into a big smile as the blush on your cold cheeks lit up.

turning your back away from him, his fingers got to work and started scooping up some fresh rice to wash.

his other hand gestured at you to have a seat right in front of him where you can watch him work his magic.

"soo.. what would you recommend chef?" putting your arms on the table and leaning in to examine his skills at work like a curious cat.

his brows just so slightly raise when he notices your gaze upon him. looking up from the rice pot he mumbles out a mmm.. to think, what would be nice and warm to suit this weather? he thought to himself thinking about what would be the best to offer.

"hmmm i'd say the salmon yaki onigiri. it's got a crispy fried outside with some delicious fresh salmon on the inside," his droopy eyes giving you a gentle smile as he works relentlessly at the rice.

pouring out the starchy water to refill the pot before he plugs the wire into the rice cooker, he's leaning on the counter to make some small talk.

"what brings you here so late? and in the freezing snow?" taking his hat off to comb his fingers through his hair.

"just felt like trying a new restaurant.. in the middle of winter," you can't stop holding eye contact with his deep brown eyes that drew you in.

pausing for a second as you two stared, you had to break it up, "..oh! i'm y/n by the way. nice to meet you..?"

"osamu miya, like atsumu miya's twin brother" nodding his head as he took a rag to wipe his wet hands with before walking into the fridge to grab fresh orange salmon out.

"you're gonna love this dish," placing the slab of fish onto the cutting board while taking out his knives to sharpen.

masterlist here

[wisteria-lodge]

JK Rowling & the Color Pink

So I'm working on a thing about queer coding in the Harry Potter books... and first I needed to do a sidebar on how the color pink is used. I’ve made a list of every time a character either wears pink, or is heavily associated with a pink object. We actually get some pretty clear categories that are unintentionally very revealing, and say a lot about how JKR sees "girly" femininity.

Let’s start off with the obvious: 

PINK = VILLAIN (FEMME) 

Petunia Dursley: “salmon-pink cocktail dress," "neat salmon-colored coat." Also paints her walls "a sickly peach color."

Gilderoy Lockhart: “lurid pink robes to match the decorations” 

Pansy Parkinson: “very frilly robes of pale pink” 

Rita Skeeter: “long nails were painted shocking pink” 

Aunt Muriel: “feathery pink hat gave her the look of a bad-tempered flamingo.” 

(Aunt Muriel only shows up briefly at Bill and Fleur’s wedding, but then proceeds to insult pretty much every other character, and give Harry an existential crisis by spilling the tea on Dumbledore)

Dolores Umbridge: “a horrible pink Alice band that matched the fluffy pink cardigan.” 

(Also: has pink stationary, and her pamphlet MUDBLOODS and the Dangers They Pose to a Peaceful Pure-Blood Society has a pink cover) 

Cho Chang

(Okay. Not a villain per se, BUT. Cho is the reason the mole gets into the DA in the books (and just is the mole in the films.) And given that she is a sort of Umbridge-aligned sub villain in book 5, at least structurally... it IS interesting that the place she brings Harry for a date has this very pink, Umbridge-coded description. 

It was a cramped, steamy little place where everything seemed to have been decorated with frills or bows. Harry was reminded unpleasantly of Umbridge’s office. “Cute, isn’t it?” said Cho happily. “Er . . . yeah,” said Harry untruthfully. “Look, she’s decorated it for Valentine’s Day!” said Cho, indicating a number of golden cherubs that were hovering over each of the small, circular tables, occasionally throwing pink confetti over the occupants.

Fleur Delacour: “[her wand] emitted a number of pink and gold sparks.” 

(Also not quite a villain, and I adore Fleur BUT… she’s written hyper-femme in an intimidating, borderline threatening way. She’s very opinionated, bordering on rude. She’s “full of herself” as Ginny puts it. And when she gets engaged to Bill and becomes an unambiguously good guy, she has this interesting moment of ~Pink Rejection~)

“. . . Bill and I ’ave almost decided on only two bridesmaids, Ginny and Gabrielle will look very sweet togezzer. I am theenking of dressing zem in pale gold — pink would of course be ’orrible with Ginny’s ’air —”

Hermione Granger: “Wearing a pink bathrobe and a frown”

(Hermione wears pink exactly one time, and it is at her most villainous… during Book 1, when she tries to stop Harry and Ron leaving in the middle of the night to go duel Malfoy.)

A voice spoke from the chair nearest them, “I can’t believe you’re going to do this, Harry.” A lamp flickered on. It was Hermione Granger, wearing a pink bathrobe and a frown. “You!” said Ron furiously. “Go back to bed!” “I almost told your brother,” Hermione snapped, “Percy — he’s a prefect, he’d put a stop to this.” Harry couldn’t believe anyone could be so interfering.

(She literally does the sitting-in-the-dark, villain-lamp thing. Also, in case you were wondering, yes Hermione DOES get a moment of ~Pink Rejection~)

Near the window was an array of violently pink products around which a cluster of excited girls was giggling enthusiastically. Hermione and Ginny both hung back, looking wary.

Which brings us too: 

PINK = SILLY/FRIVOLOUS (FEMME) 

Sybill Trelawney: “after you’ve broken your first cup, would you be so kind as to select one of the blue-patterned ones? I’m rather attached to the pink.”

(She’s a fraud. Also hides empty bottles of sherry in the room of requirement. (I’m going to have to be uncharitable in this section, so am sorry.) 

Parvati Patil: “robes of shocking pink"

(Often described as “giggling,” thinks Professor Trelawney is amazing, the real deal.)

The Fat Lady: “a very fat woman in a pink silk dress.” 

(Often described as giggling. Drinks too much during the holidays. JRK is unfortunately well known for being fatphobic. Also the Fat Lady has a friend named Violet, and Parvati has a friend named Lavender. Not really going anywhere with that, just funny that they’re both shades of purple.)

Hepzibah Smith: “an immensely fat old lady wearing an elaborate ginger wig and a brilliant pink set of robes.” 

(So… almost identical description to the Fat Lady. And I think we should maybe talk about her more, maybe? Because the way she’s framed… I think she might be Tom Riddle’s sugar mamma?)

“I brought you flowers,” he said quietly, producing a bunch of roses from nowhere. “You naughty boy, you shouldn’t have!” squealed old Hepzibah, though Harry noticed that she had an empty vase standing ready on the nearest little table. “You do spoil this old lady, Tom. . . .” 

(Or maybe we… shouldn’t talk about that. Either way, Tom Riddle does kill her, steal her stuff, and frame her house elf so thats… not great.)

PINK = EMBARRASSING 

“Everyone take a pair of earmuffs,” said Professor Sprout. There was a scramble as everyone tried to seize a pair that wasn’t pink and fluffy.

(Pink fluffy earmuffs are adorable.)

“Wash out your mouth,” said James coldly. “Scourgify!” Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape’s mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag.

(The next two example are 'pranks' as well, I think the pink-colored soap is there to add a kind of insult to injury.)

Shocking-pink Catherine wheels five feet in diameter were whizzing lethally through the air like so many flying saucers. 

(This is a bit from Fred and George’s farewell firework show, it's funny that they’re specifically pink fireworks that Umbridge can’t get rid of.)

“Headless Hats!” shouted George, as Fred waved a pointed hat decorated with a fluffy pink feather at the watching students. “Two Galleons each — watch Fred, now!” Fred swept the hat onto his head, beaming. For a second he merely looked rather stupid, then both hat and head vanished.

(also just, pumping up an embarrassing moment)

PINK = OUTSIDER, WEIRDO

Hagrid

Hagrid’s flowered pink umbrella, which contains his broken wand, is brought up a lot. In this case I think we’re meant to see it as a joke. Hagrid’s so big, and so masc, but the pink umbrella makes him non-threatening. However… the pink umbrella, it’s not a totally positive thing, is it? It doesn’t match, it isn’t *him.* Hagrid wouldn't have chosen to carry this around, totally on his own, if he'd had any other choice. It sets him apart, both visually and socially (because it's a constant reminder that he doesn't have a wand.)

Dobby

Dobby, once he is freed, gets pink-and-orange striped socks, and they’re meant to communicate that he’s… kind of a lot. “Yeh get weirdos in every breed,” as Hagrid puts it. JKR has a very strange, honestly antagonistic relationship with Dobby. He’s the victim of book 2, but structurally kind of the villain? He describes the house-elves situation as “enslavement,” but Hermione’s treated as overdramatic for calling house-elves slaves two books later. And then everything is ret-conned and Dobby is… just kind of weird for liking freedom (and socks) as much as he does.

Tonks

Book!Tonks defaults to “bubblegum-pink” hair. Her hair is described as pink a lot. (Movie!Tonks defaults to purple hair, because they were worried that pink would visually align her with Umbridge.) And this is the oddest one on the list to me, because Tonks is such a universally beloved, fan favorite character. But I really do think that *as written*... we’re supposed to put her in a category with Dobby. The two of them leave (unintentional) destruction in their wake. They’re loud, they’re a lot, they take up too much space. Harry thinks they’re both kind of annoying. (and yeah, Harry 100% thinks  Tonks is “a little annoying at times.”)

[tonyspank]

WHO?

Warnings: GN! Reader, fluffy + my poor attempts at humor

Summary: You find out who Jenna Ortega is.

You stand in front of your kitchen counter, watching your monitor as your viewers load into the Twitch chat. You smile watching the chat fly with questions and comments. "Hi, guys!" You wave at the camera, fixing your apron. "Be grateful I'm even streaming this because it was so difficult to get my setup in the kitchen."

You move from the counter to your camera, adjusting it a bit. "There," you mumble to yourself, glancing over to the chat again. "Happy Anniversary." You read off the chat, beginning to smile, "Thank you!"

@coolasacucumber where's babygirl jenna

@teamed28 anniversary??? TIME IS FLYING BROOO

@Versalcool171 why they look kinda cute in that apron

@TggthegreatRede HIIIIII

You move back to the counter, "Jenna isn't here, she's out doing something. But that's good because I'm surprising her with dinner for our anniversary! I have a table set up and everything on our balcony." You tell your viewers. You then look around the kitchen, gathering all the ingredients you need.

Soon a donation message pops up on your monitor and the bot begins reading it aloud. "What does Jenna's farts smell like?"

You pause your movements, standing completely still for a few seconds before moving again. You ignore the question, acting as if you never got it, but the smile on your face gives away your amusement. "Uh, anyway."

You break the silence and continue with your task. You lift up a salmon, "I'm cooking salmon, rice and broccoli for bae." You look up at the chat, watching thousands of reactions appear on the screen. You begin seasoning your salmon with a mixture of herbs and spices, and then place it in the hot pan.

Another donation rings through, "Can you tell us the story of how you met Jenna? I love you so much by the way." You chuckle and reply, "I love you too! Sure, once upon a time..." You say dramatically, laughing at your own joke.

"I was streaming, you know? The usual, then I got a donation."

TWO YEARS AGO

You watch as your screen shows victory, winning another match of Overwatch. Leaning back in your chair, you listen to the donation ringing through your headset. "Have you watched the new Wednesday show on Netflix?"

You furrow your eyebrows as your eyes are fixed on the screen. "Nah, I haven't. Like Wednesday Addams?" You laugh and tilt your head, waiting for the next match to start.

As you wait you decide to check the chat.

@Yuanycat530 Jenna Ortega's in the show

@zenocentric you gotta watch it for mommy jenna

@Momismme3600 its sooo good stg

@amburntfreemansgf MASONS WATCHING STREAM

You sit back up in your chair, adjusting the hat on your head. "Who?" You begin chuckling, completely confused about what your Twitch chat was talking about. "Guys I don't know who Jenna Ortega is."

Suddenly, a flood of messages appear, all talking about Jenna Ortega and the new show she's in. You close out of Overwatch and start sharing your Google to the stream, typing in Jenna Ortega.

You quickly learn that Jenna Ortega is an actress and you begin to recognize her. "Oh, shit. She was in Scream 5 with Mason and David?" You turn your head to the chat before glancing back at the search.

You smile to yourself as you remember the movie. You search in Instagram, looking up Jenna's username, before following her and beginning to scroll through her posts. She was absolutely beautiful; you shock yourself as you can't believe you could forget someone so stunning.

@y/nsdirtysock NOT HER BLUSHING

@amburntfreemansgf IS THIS JOE GOLDBERG?

@mrsasfjerEgads SHES SMILING HELLA HARD

You're knocked out of your daze as your phone begins ringing. You fumble around for your phone, trying to answer it before it goes to voicemail.

You answer it and it's Mason, facetiming you. Mason's face lights up when he sees you. "Why are you going through Jenna's Instagram?!" He laughs and you join in, showing the camera Mason.

"Bro! Chat asked me if I watched her show. I forgot who she was!" Mason grins at his screen, "How could you forget Jenna Ortega?" You shrug and laugh, "I don't know!" Mason laughs again before he places his phone down on his desk, you do the same, rubbing your hands down your face. "Mason join me on Overwatch."

Mason raises an eyebrow, considering the offer. "Sure, but you know I'm bad at this." You smile, loading Overwatch back up. "It's okay, Daddy will carry you." Mason chuckles and playfully rolls his eyes. "Alright, let's see if you can actually carry me this time." Moments later, Mason is in your party, taking a sip of his water.

"My chat says, how did Jenna's profile look?" Mason grins reading off of his live chat on his own screen. You pick an operator, shaking your head. "Tell your chat to stop harassing me," you joke, your smile never fading. Mason chuckles and raises an eyebrow. "Oh, they're just curious. I still can't believe you forgot who Jenna is!"

"Dude! It completely slipped my mind,"  you admit, shrugging. Mason chooses his own operator before walking over to your character and using the "Hello" command. You watch as Mason's character waves and greets your character on the screen. "Imagine if you joined me on Saturday," he says playfully.

His eyes then widen, and he says, Oh, my god, you should join me on Saturday." You can hear the excitement in his voice as he continues, "It'll be so fun, swear, and! And Jenna will be able to make an unforgettable impression." You shake your head, watching your character run to the point.

"Are you trying to play cupid?" You joke, laughing. Mason chuckles and replies, "Well, maybe just a little. But seriously, it would be great to have you there. I'm sure everyone won't mind."

You raise an eyebrow, considering his offer. "Alright, I'll come." You finally agree, unable to resist his infectious enthusiasm. Mason grins triumphantly, clearly pleased with himself.

"Awesome! You won't regret it, I promise," he says, glancing at his chat, leaving you wondering what kind of unforgettable impression Jenna could possibly make.

You huff out when D.Va kills you, leaning back in your chair as you wait to respawn. "Chat. If someone gifts 100 gifted subs, I'll tattoo Jenna's face on my buttocks." You joke, a small smirk on your lips.

Mason chuckles, clearly amused by your playful banter. "Hey, don't underestimate the power of your chat. Who knows, you might end up with a masterpiece on your backside," he teases, wiggling his eyebrows teasingly. You laugh along, secretly hoping that no one takes your joke too seriously.

However, as you continue playing, a notification pops up on your screen indicating that someone has indeed gifted 100 subs. Your eyes widen in disbelief. "Ain't no way!"

A FEW HOURS LATER

*jennaortega started following you*

You rise from your bed, clicking on the Instagram notification that pops up on your phone. Ain't no fucking way.

Jenna - So...Saturday? Will a portrait of my face be on your butt?

You - you would like that wouldn't you?

Jenna - I'd prefer somewhere everyone can see Jenna - Maybe your forehead is a better spot

You - lol, how about we get matching ones then? You -that way when we kiss we can really make it look like we have four eyes

Jenna - Kiss? Who said anything about kissing? Jenna - I'm not that kind of girl 🤨

You - oh, so what kind of girl are you? ;)

Jenna - The kind that doesn't appreciate these cheesy pickup lines

You - ooh, dairy free You - completely understandable You - from now on i will acknowledge that

Jenna - xxx-xxx-xxx Jenna - Text me on IMessage

You - yes ma'am! 🫡

Reacted ❤️ to your message.

ONE YEAR LATER

"Chat, I'll let you know I just woke up. Don't mind this..." You say, motioning over your face, as you try to rub the sleep from your eyes. "Sorry if I seem out of it. It takes time for my brain to boot up."

You don't notice the way your chat freaks out about the hickey on your neck, as your focus is still on trying to fully wake up. The hickey, a remnant from last night's passionate embrace, remains unnoticed by you for now.

@h5therx is that a mf hickey

@TheGrapeNinja WHO WAS SUCKING ON UR NECK

@twizzy1 @TheGrapeNinja BLOOD THIS AINT EVEN MY NECK????

"Valorant, or Overwatch?" You ask, finally glancing over at your Twitch chat.

You notice a flurry of comments in the chat, with some viewers teasingly pointing out the hickey on your neck. You pause, staring at the chat, before quickly covering your neck with your hand, a blush creeping up your cheeks.

"Brooo, I didn't even know I had this," you mutter sheepishly, rubbing your hand over your neck.

The chat explodes with laughter and playful comments about your unexpected love mark. "Is she going to hear a word out of me." you mutter to yourself, talking about your girlfriend as you begin realizing that even the smallest details don't go unnoticed by your loyal viewers.

"Enough about my hickey! Pick a game!" You jokingly yell at your chat, reaching for a hoodie to cover up the mark. As you put on the hoodie, a donation comes through.

You pause for a moment, glancing at the donation message. "You said you were going to play Sims last stream. Don't worry about the hickey, we're just excited to see you play!"

You chuckle at the comment, grateful for the support and understanding from your viewers. With a smile, you reply, "Alright, alright! Sims it is then! Let's be delulu and create our dream life."

You start up the game and glance over to your chat. "Have you guys ever, like, gone to bed with like a thought or try to preload your own dream? Like, I be going to sleep with a specific idea or scenario in mind, hoping it will manifest in my dreams. It's like I'm trying to program my subconscious to create the perfect dream."

You pause, waiting for your viewers' responses, curious if anyone else has tried something similar.

@ricoottv Yes bruh I be dreaming about Gal Gadot dominating me fr

@24kGoldenRing @ricoottv 😨😨😨

@QuannMeline YESSSSS

As the chat starts flooding with responses, you notice that many of your viewers have indeed experimented with preloading their dreams. Some share their success stories, describing how they have had incredible adventures and even found solutions to real-life problems in their dream scenarios.

Others admit to having mixed results, with some dreams turning out exactly as they had hoped while others took unexpected turns. Excitement builds as everyone exchanges tips and techniques, eager to unlock the full potential of their dream worlds.

"I'm glad I'm not the only one." You chuckle and begin creating your Sim, carefully customizing every detail to make them as close to your ideal self as possible. You then put your face-cam side by side with your sim and ask, "Do they look like me?"

You wait for responses from your viewers, trying not to laugh at the potential comparisons they might make.

@tuneskixx it looks like u if u were mentally unstable

@47SH5T Y/N if they were off crack

@k0hjuh EWWWW

@Shaun Why the sim kinda 😍

"Me if I was off crack? Nah, that's wild." You say, rereading one of your subs chat. "Go to the gallery and find your love interest?" You read off, raising an eyebrow. Intrigued, you decide to take a break from creating your Sim and explore the gallery to see if there's a perfect match waiting for you.

There's a search bar, and without hesitation, you type in "Jenna Ortega." You eagerly scroll through the results, hoping to find a Sim that resembles Jenna Ortega.

Some of them look like her, and the others are far off, but you settle on one that seems to capture her essence the best. Excitedly, you click on the Sim and download it into your game.

"Guys, why does this actually look like Jenna?" You exclaim, unable to contain your excitement. "Yoo! They even have her cleft chin. But to be honest, Jenna doesn't really have a cleft chin, it only appears when she smiles or makes certain facial expressions."

@amburntfreemansgf nah bro a Jenna Ortega specialist

@AlexVsJay "jenna doesn't really have a cleft chin it only appears when makes certain facial expressions" 🤓☝️

@Shaun @amburntfreemansgf LMAOOOO

After adding a dog and cat to your household, you start your sim life as Jenna Ortega, her being your wife. You immerse yourself in the game, navigating through your and Jenna's daily activities and adventures.

"What the fuck!" You shout at the screen, your chat begins to fill up with messages at the sight of what's happening.

@mynames_jeff POV last night

@amburntfreemansgf sorry y'all jenna thought that was me 😅

@ricoottv OMGOMG

"Ya'll, I didn't tell them to do this! They real life just hopped out of the hot tub to make out." You tell your chat, watching as your sim and Jenna's sim kiss passionately. The unexpected display of affection between the sims surprises and amuses you, causing your chat to explode with laughter and comments.

You're so immersed in the game that you don't notice Jenna creeping into your room, a plate of cookies in hand.

@amburntfreemansgf BE SO FUCKING FOR REAL

@n6huh JENNA?????&1'

@t8lyer_44 I KNEW THEY WERE TOGETHER

@AlexVsJay Y/N has now becomepublic enemy #1

She sets the plate down on your desk, causing a wave of delicious aroma to fill the air. The smell wafts towards you, distracting you momentarily from the chaos happening on the screen.

You jump when you turn your head and see Jenna standing there, a smile on her face. Your eyes widen as you shut off your camera. "I'm live!" You say, forgetting that your stream can hear you. Jenna's eyes widen.

You two have been dating for quite a while, but you didn't tell anyone about your relationship.

"Do you think they saw me?" Jenna asks, her voice filled with concern. You shake your head before shrugging, "I don't know, baby. Shit, this is my fault. I should've told you I was live."

A donation rings through, catching both of your attention. You glance at the screen to see a message from a viewer, "Uhhh...the mic is on. Anyways, hi Jenna!" Jenna's face flushes with embarrassment as she realizes that your viewers heard everything.

Your jaw drops, and you decide to turn the camera back on again since it seems like the damage has already been done. You take a deep breath and address the viewers, "Well, I guess there's no hiding it now. Yes, Jenna and I are dating."

Jenna looks at you nervously, unsure of how the viewers will react. You continue, "We wanted to keep it private for a while, but that was kind of difficult." Jenna sits on your lap, waving at the camera. "Hi, everyone." You chuckle nervously, trying to ease the tension.

"We hope you all understand why we wanted to keep it quiet," you add, trying to reassure both Jenna and the audience. "But we also didn't want to hide something that makes us so happy." The viewers' reactions start pouring in, a mix of surprise, support, and curiosity.

Curiosity also makes its way to your and your girlfriend's faces as your Sims start to Woo-hoo in the hot tub. "Is...that us?" Jenna asks, her eyes widening with a smirk playing on her lips. You cover your face with your hands.

"Ain't no way, bruh." You mumble to yourself.

Another donation rings out, "DON'T ACT LIKE YALL WASN'T DOING THAT SAME STUFF LAST NIGHT. WE SEEN THE HICKEY!"

"AIN'T NO WAY!" You shout dramatically, causing Jenna to burst out laughing, covering her mouth with her hand to muffle the sound.

[shojizbae]

JJ Dating a Kook

JJ picked up a job caddying at a golf course

He makes good tips for the first two months

One day he is assigned to a caddy for a mother, father and daughter

He expects some rich little 9 year old with her head up her ass

Enter you, beautiful, graceful, kind, and damn good at golf

He blushes (for the first time since he was 12 and found his dads nudie mag) when you accidentally brush his knuckles when he hands you your nine iron

Your dad, who’s the typical rich overprotective Kook dad, noticed this and tries to stiff him on a his tip

You noice that he only hands him a 50 for putting up with your parents nonsense for four hours

You point out one of your dads work buddies and your parents drift over to chit chat

You grab your dads wallet and pull a handful of twenties and shout that you need the rest room before you leave

You run over to JJ where he’s parking the golf cart he’d just driven y’all around on when you approach him

He jumps up and removes the course company hat to greet you

“My dad’s an asshole, here’s the rest of your tip.” You hand him the hand and he numbly receives it

“Thanks,” he chuckles and puts his hat back in his head. When he gets home and counts it he realizes that you had tipped him $240

“I feel like I’ve seen you at a bonfire,” he looks up for the wad that he was trying g to approximate

“Yeah, I go to most of them,” he takes his eyes down to the salmon skort you were wearing, it matched your hat

“I hope I’ll see you at the one this Saturday,” you giggle and skip away leaving him stunned

He does see you that Saturday. You were standing my the fire in black sweatpants and a royal blue bikini top. arms crossed with a red solo cup loosely held in your fingers

The fire made you look so radiant

He down the rest of his PBR and grabbed two more. The lion enters the den.

“Whatever that is looks like shit,” he hands you one of the beers he’s holding.

“Kinda” you throw back the final swig and toss the cup into the flames. You receive the glass bottle with half smile and look back into the fire to watch the cup melt “Thanks JJ”

His heart sings you remembered him!

You going golfing again soon?” It’s the only thing you two have in common so far

“No, I don’t get out often. My parents don’t want me out of the house without supervision. They have no idea I’m here, think I’m at the gym.”

“At,” he checks his phone “11:40?”

“Yeah,” you bite the cap of your beer off and spit it away from JJ “they’re kinda naive”

You spend the rest of the night huddled up to his furnace like body cracking jokes about pogues and kooks alike

Surprisingly you’re back at the golf course 3 days later. This time donning a shorter navy blue skort and a gray polo. You request explicitly for Jj to be your caddy

You had convinced your dad to let you go alone.

You flirt with him the whole time he’s driving you around the course. Purposefully grabbing his hand when he hands you a club. Resting your hand on his thigh as he drives. Readjusting the company hat he’s wearing. He may have cute hair but he can’t hide his cute face with it.

When you're in a secluded part of the course, you make out against the golf cart for a few minutes. Having accidentally hit into some surrounding woods

[i2rizz]

A Day Off

Fandom: Bungou stray dogs

Characters: Chuuya x Reader

------------‐---------------------------------------

Chuuya Nakahara rarely got days off. Being one of the Port Mafia’s Executives didn’t exactly allow for casual breaks. So when Mori “insisted” he take a day to himself, Chuuya took it as less of a suggestion and more of a punishment.

He was still grumbling about it when he stormed out of the office, his hat tilted low and his coat billowing behind him. That’s when he saw you, leaning casually against the wall, scrolling through your phone.

“Finally,” you teased, slipping your phone into your pocket. “I thought I was going to have to drag you out of there myself.”

Chuuya’s scowl softened as his sharp blue eyes met yours. “Mori’s on my case,” he muttered, running a hand through his tousled orange hair. “Apparently, I’m ‘too stressed.’ Can you believe that crap?”

“Absolutely,” you said with a smirk, stepping closer to straighten the brim of his hat. “And I’m glad he did. I’ve been trying to get you to take a break for weeks.”

Chuuya scoffed but couldn’t hide the small smile tugging at his lips. “Fine, princess. What’s the plan?”

“Anything but mafia business,” you said, looping your arm through his. “Deal?”

“Deal,” he said with a sigh. “But this better be good.”

Your first stop was a small café tucked away in a quiet corner of Yokohama. Chuuya, true to form, insisted on ordering the most extravagant dish on the menu—poached eggs with truffle oil and smoked salmon—while you opted for something simpler.

“Why do you always pick the fanciest thing on the menu?” you teased as he took a sip of his coffee.

He leaned back in his chair, crossing his legs with an air of smugness. “Because I have taste, babe. You should try it sometime.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help laughing. Moments like this reminded you of the Chuuya beneath the mafia persona—the man who could charm anyone with a grin and an offhand remark.

As the morning passed, the two of you wandered through the nearby streets, popping into boutique shops and browsing art galleries. Chuuya had a habit of pointing out pieces that reminded him of you, though his taste tended toward the bold and dramatic.

“This one’s got your fire,” he said, nodding to a painting of a crimson sunset over a stormy sea.

“And what about that one?” you asked, gesturing to a serene watercolor of a quiet lake.

He smirked. “That’s definitely not you. Too boring.”

You swatted his arm, laughing as he pretended to shield himself.

The peaceful vibe of the day was shattered as you walked along the pier, the salty breeze ruffling your hair. Chuuya’s posture suddenly stiffened, his hand instinctively moving to rest on the small of your back.

“Chuuya?” you asked, following his gaze.

“Stay close,” he murmured, his voice low and dangerous.

A group of men emerged from the shadows, their faces twisted with smug confidence. You recognized the emblem on their jackets—rivals of the Port Mafia.

“Well, well,��� the leader drawled, a cigarette dangling from his lips. “Look who’s taking a little vacation. Didn’t think you’d be stupid enough to walk around without backup, Nakahara.”

Chuuya’s laugh was sharp and cold. “Backup? For you? Don’t make me laugh.”

The men lunged, and chaos erupted.

Chuuya’s ability, For the Tainted Sorrow, flared to life, the air around him shimmering with power. One by one, the attackers were lifted off their feet, slammed into walls, or sent sprawling into the ocean with bone-crushing force.

You weren’t one to stand idly by. When one of the men managed to break through Chuuya’s defenses and charge at you, you ducked under his swing and jabbed your elbow into his ribs, making him stagger.

Chuuya glanced over his shoulder, a feral grin spreading across his face. “That’s my girl.”

The fight ended as quickly as it began, the thugs groaning on the ground or scrambling to escape. Chuuya dusted off his hands, his expression one of pure disdain.

“Idiots,” he muttered, turning back to you. “You okay?”

“Better than they are,” you quipped, earning a soft chuckle from him.

After the encounter, Chuuya insisted on taking you to his favorite rooftop bar, claiming you both deserved a drink after the “exercise.”

The view was breathtaking, the city lights stretching out below like a sea of stars. Chuuya ordered a bottle of his favorite wine, pouring you a glass with a flourish.

“To my so called "day off",” he said, raising his glass with a smirk.

“And to you finally learning how to relax,” you replied, clinking your glass against his.

Chuuya leaned back in his chair, the tension in his shoulders finally easing. “You know, I didn’t think I’d enjoy today. But... you always make things better, doll.”

His words caught you off guard, and for a moment, you simply stared at him, your heart swelling with affection.

“You mean that?” you asked softly.

“Of course I do,” he said, reaching across the table to take your hand. “You’re the only thing that keeps me sane in this mess of a world.”

The rest of the evening passed in a haze of soft laughter, stolen glances, and quiet moments of contentment. As the night deepened, Chuuya pulled you close, his arms wrapped around you as the city buzzed far below.

“Thank you,” he murmured against your hair.

“For what?”

“For being the best part of my life,” he said simply, his voice low and sincere.

And in that moment, with the world far below and Chuuya’s warmth surrounding you, everything felt perfect.

------------‐---------------------------------------

"That's my girl" IM GOING FERALL

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

It Had To Be You

Before I get into my big explaining rant, reblogs are very much appreciated! I know this is usually a rant blog but when I spend so long on a drawing I want to have people see it and stare at it like I do LOL

Also for the ALT text, a lot of the details are going to be explained below so if you’d like extra details please read!

So, my designs! I really hate Husk’s design; as in I hate drawing it. It’s too red and tiny for me, Husk is very orange and round to me, he’s like a really chubby cat that you flip over in the bed and smack their belly and kiss em. He also kinda reminds me of Tigerstar from Warriors but like if he was a more morally correct person. Kind of. I removed all of the red from Husk and replaced it with little motifs of orange and brown like in his ears, his eyebrows, wings, and the little patch on his snout. For his wings I tried to base them around a Brown Thrasher because they fit the colour I needed and they’re very defensive birds which is a trait I’d like to see in Husk more. Seeing him protecting others with his wings in Episode 8 was a very cute touch and I want more of that. Oh and the little orange bit on his snout was based on one of my old cats named Whiskey and I thought that was fitting cause yknow. Whiskey. 🥃. Also it’s cute!

Part of Husk’s orange colouration also falls under some inspiration I received from @bluehazardanonymous whom you may see on my blog again. But they sent me a very interesting colour chart and it made my brain go funny

Husk’s design has a lot of orange, yellow, and small hints of red like his undone bowtie and hat band/ace of hearts card. The orange for gluttony is mostly related to alcohol and such, meanwhile the yellow in his eyes, shirt patch, and on the button on his hat are to show greed from things like gambling and possible leftovers from being an overlord. I don’t think you can just go from being all powerful to some random bartender and NOT have some kind of thirst for power right???? That also bleeds into the red parts (haha cause blood red) to keep his design on the warm side and have a little bit of anger in there.

His clothes are also supposed to look a bit sloppy and kinda sad cause I mean. He is. But they are also all relatively formal items of clothing. By the way I’m never drawing this guy shirtless, sorry you need to beg and pay for that/j

Now for Angel. With Angel being pink-ish and how I usually draw the rest of Hell, I try to make Hell more gross looking and greenish/sickly, generally unpleasant, so that Angel is more eye catching and pops out more like a celebrity would. A lot of the cast in my head is more orange/maroon coloured, not a lot of pink or salmon colours. Of course pink is under lust on the colour wheel, but I personally don’t like chalking Angel up to just his job, nor do i really like using “true” pink. I always keep him in this range:

Also that white is not for him it’s for other things, I always make him a cream-ish colour. I like pink with red undertones always, especially for Angel. It shows his job very blatantly if you take a simple glance at him, but if you’re nuts like me and colour pick from these that I use, you’ll see a lot of them are closer to red, rather than the bright pink-ish-purple colour for lust. And also closer to his original more purple design!

I think it goes without saying that Angel has a lot of pent up anger and frustration that he hides with his persona and humour, and I think trying to show some of that in his colours is a lot more interesting than just haha pink gay spider. I dunno.

Also I thought these little cowlick flip thingies on the side were really cute

I was originally going to make the sign in the back purple since that’s usually the colour of most XXX signs in Hazbin, but the yellow makes everything else look a lot more dingy and gross while still being bright and I love that. Also the yellow is kind of a shallow jab of my own at the adult entertainment industry, a lot of this stuff is just people being exploited for money but I will go on a tangent about this if I don’t shift topic!! Anyway. A lot of the background isn’t super visible, but based on the colours I was kinda going for a more envy & wrath & greed section of the pride ring. Just seems like a good place to smoke. The rain doesn’t hold much symbolism to it but it is there to make the area seem more unpleasant. Yknow how it rains sometimes and the sewage in the street comes up? Like that.

Im really happy with a bunch of stuff in this art. 10 hours, 184+ layers, and 11751 strokes is probably the most I have ever done for.. anything????? Even if you don’t like the art I hope you appreciate the long rant LOL

Be sure to have a good day and drink something ‼️

[lamaery]

Since the line art / sketches for these have been reblogged more often, than the reblog with the coloured version (and I like the coloured version), I dare to repost this one. So that it may be shared and seen more as well. At the danger of being repetitive... Have an additional Mr Spider :D

Now with colour and description (thank you @saintbleeding for that, I expanded on it a little bit) ------------------------ [ID: Two versions of a sketch page of characters from The Magnus Archives (the first is the sketches, the second has them rendered in full colour): Martin is pale and freckled with light blond hair and light violet glasses and is holding a thermos and cup, with text in the steam billowing from them reading “Let’s hope it’s not oolong”; Jon has a brown skin tone and dark wavy, grey-streaked hair coming down to his shoulders, He watches with a sad, wide-eyed, stare, His eyes are glowing in a bright, green and small eye symbols are forming around his head; Tim smiling and looking slyly to the side; a small, low-detail bust of Sasha with dark skin, round glasses and a large blob of dark her bound to the back of her head, behind a larger, more detailed bust of Not!Sasha looking over her shoulder (not by op: both of them are meant to be differing designs for Sasha, but the bigger sketch showing a young woman with a blond bob of hair could work for Not!Shasha quite well); Jon and Martin grinning smugly, Martin has a purple towel hanging over his shoulder, Jon is wearing a soft salmon colored hoodie, which is too large for him; Tim lounging on a wheely-chair and wearing an open Hawaiian shirt, holding a mug with a paper umbrella and smiling; Georgie is dark-skinned with short curly hair that has a red shade to it and freckles on her face. She is looking mistrustfully off-camera with an arm around Melanie, whose face is downturned. She has dark glasses concealing her eyes. The second image is a stylized, spidery figure consisting of a dark black, uneven blob for a body, a smaller black blob for a head, with almond shaped eyes scratched roughly and randomly across it, including a small bowtie at its non existent neck. Thin, scraggly, slightly hairy lines bent in many unnatural angles for the eight legs of the creature. A tiny hat adorned its head. It is with a splatter of bright red. End ID.]

[woodsdyke]

the southern resident orca dead salmon hat fashion trend of 1987 is apparently making a resurgence. we are so fucking back

[superinjun]

Chief Salmon Hat (Dancing Skils Hat)

isabel Rorick (Haida) in collaboration with Robin Rorick (Haida)

carved and painted alder, woven spruce root skils. 16” x 13.38” x 14.13”

The three woven skils atop this hat are articulated, and freely “dance” back and forth like the flapping of a salmon’s tail. The woven skils are by Isabel Rorick, and the carved hat is by her son, Robin Rorick.

[s10127470]

Mutant Metabolism and The X-Men Food Headcanons (Part 1)

So a few weeks ago, I shared an headcanon idea with @a-roguish-gambit.

And thanks to an additional response from @littlekidsteve, it gave me the idea to share the headcanon with you all!

I've always had this idea of mutants being massive eaters.

I mean, it's pretty common to see super-powered beings possess much higher metabolisms than the average human.

So I figured, why haven't don't the mutants have this trait?

Well, today, I wanted to share some headcanons I have for The X-Men in regards.

Specifically on what their metabolisms are like when compared to each other, their favorite foods, and even funny stories involving each of them and food.

So without further ado, let's get started!

Cyclops:

Cyclops' metabolism is definitely one of the highest of the team, due to his energy powers.

His favorite foods are quite simple. Mainly consisting of soups, cereals and sandwiches.

But let me tell you, he goes all out when it comes those three.

When it comes to soups, his favorite kind are chicken noodle, vegetable beef, and tomato.

He always uses a huge bowl to eat his soup out of.

And he's not above drinking the soup straight from the bowl.

When to comes to cereal, he loves just about any kind.

He always uses the same huge bowl when eating cereal.

He also likes to make himself a full-on spread of breakfast food to go with his cereal, like in the commercials.

It usually consists of buttered toast, some fruit, and a glass of orange juice.

When it comes to sandwiches, he always make them into Dagwoods.

Cyclops piles those babies all the way to the sky.

His favorite kind are salmon, reuben, grilled cheese, Italian, and meatball.

Food Funny: Whenever he’s eating cereal, Cyclops always hums the tune of this musical masterpiece…

Storm:

Storm is another high one on the metabolism scale, thanks to her weather manipulation.

Her favorite food are fruits, mainly the ones of the tropical variety.

Most notably bananas, passion fruit, papaya, and mangos.

Given that she spent most of her life traveling across Africa, it would make sense that she would be so into fruit, considering it was one of the few food items she could regularly eat since remember: she was a orphan and a thief.

She loves to make herself a massive fruit salad with a huge bowl, which she'll eat during breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack time.

Food Funny: One time on Halloween, the X-Men decided to go as Brazilian dancers with Tutti Frutti Hats to a party. But when they arrived at the party, everyone noticed that the fruits on Storm's hat were noticably missing. Let's just say that she got a little....peckish, on the way to the party.

Wolverine:

Wolverine possibly has the highest metabolism of all the X-Men due to his animalistic nature.

His favorite food is meat.

In particular, he loves steaks and burgers.

And similar to Cyclops, Wolverine always makes his burgers into Dagwoods.

He's also a fan of game meat such as venison, quail, boar and buffalo.

He was quite the hunter back in the past.

Food Funny: Wolverine considers Jughead (yes, that Jughead) to be his idol because of his renowned love for burgers.

Jean Grey:

Jean is quite moderate on the metabolism scale, but just like all mutants, she still has a huge appetite.

Like Cyclops, she loves sandwiches and always make Dagwoods.

Her favorites are chicken salad, ham and cheese, peanut butter and jelly, cubanos, and roast beef.

Jean also loves chips and soda.

Whenever she's snacking, you'll always find her eating massive bag of chips and multiple liters of soda.

Food Funny: She always gets the name brand chips and soda (Frito Lays, Pringles, Pepsi, Fanta, etc), and she hates whenever anyone gets the Great Value versions of those brands. You better believe she's gone on full rants over this.

Beast:

Beast is another one on the high scale of metabolism thanks to his animalistic nature.

His favorite foods are snack cakes, mainly the ones from Hostess.

He especially loves Twinkies and Chocodiles.

Food Funny: Beast is able to recite the entirety of the Chocodile commercial from memory. He also considers Roger from American Dad his spirit animal, due to their shared love of sweets.

Rogue:

Rogue is pretty high on the scale of metabolism due to enhanced physiology via the absorption of Carol Danvers' powers.

Her favorite foods is some good ol' Southern cuisine!

Fried chicken, biscuits and gravy, shrimp and grits, cornbread, barbecue, collared green, mac and cheese, fried okra, hotcakes, lemonade, sweet iced tea, and mud pies.

Food Funny: Rogue actually did a PowerPoint presentation on which restaurants have the best fried chicken.

Gambit:

Gambit is more on the moderate side when it comes to metabolism.

His favorite food is good ol' Cajun cuisine.

Gumbo, jambalaya, boudin, étouffée, po'boys, pralines, red beans and rice, crawfish boil, and beignets.

Food Funny: Gambit gets really serious about the use of seasoning in food. He likes his food to have flavor! If he taste something with hardly any flavor, he will have a Gordon Ramsey moment.

Jubilee:

Jubilee is also on the moderate side of the metabolism scale.

She is a massive junk foodie.

Any junk food you can think of, she loves.

Chips, soda, popcorn, candy, hot dogs, nachos, burgers, tacos, chicken wings, fries, onion rings, burritos, pizza, slushies, mozzarella sticks, ice cream, milkshakes, cookies, cake, and anything with either chili, cheese or bacon on it.

Food Funny: Whenever there's a marathon, she always stocks up on massive piles of junk food. And the crazy about all this is that she considers all that stuff just an appetizer!

Nightcrawler:

Nightcrawler is actually on the lower scale of metabolism.

He has a massive sweet tooth.

His favorite sweets are cakes, strudel, gingerbread, donuts, pastries and spaghetti ice cream.

Food Funny: His favorite time of year is Christmastime, which he uses as a way to gorge down on as many sweets as he possibly can.

Well that's all for know!

What do you guys think about the choices I made for the X-Men and their favorite foods?

Also, what other food headcanons can you think of for these guys?

I'm planning on doing a part two to this, where I cover some of the other notable X-Men and their favorite foods.