#sally. i love you my dog wife …

[bnuydreamz]

been missing my wifeeee latelyyy. (Sally)

[corroded-hellfire]

As You Wish - Eddie Munson x Reader, Part 3

This was a collaboration with my dear @munson-blurbs!

Summary: Eddie knows he hasn’t gone about things as he should have, so he’s determined to make things better—for everyone. You can read part two here.

Note: Thank you everyone for your kind words and hilarious messages! Seeing what you all have to say about this series truly makes my day.

Warnings: smut, p in v, unprotected (wrap it up), breeding kink, spanking, oral f!receiving, I think that’s it?

Words: 10.8k

[All stories in this verse]

"I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as—”

BZZZT!

The apartment buzzer rings, startling you from your When Harry Met Sally trance. You’d nearly dropped your bowl of cookie dough ice cream. 

“I’ll answer it,” your roommate calls out, padding across the living room. You muster up a smile as a silent thanks; you just don’t have the mental energy to face another human being right now. 

“Who is it?” Jess asks, speaking into the intercom on the wall. 

“It’s me. Um, it’s Eddie.” His voice makes your stomach drop into your feet as you violently shake your head no. You’d filled Jess in on what had happened over the weekend, and she certainly wasn’t on Eddie’s side. 

Sure enough, a scowl crosses her face. “Why don’t you fuck off, Eddie?” she sneers. 

“Yeah, so, I’ll do that,” he mumbles, “but I just need to drop something off. Please.” He sounds so pathetic. Good. 

Jess looks over at you for your reaction. “I don’t want anything from him,” you mutter, snuggling deeper into your fuzzy blanket. “Tell him to go away.”

She nods, pressing on the intercom again. “Denied.” She starts to walk away, but Eddie’s pleas stop her in her tracks. 

“Look, I know I fucked up big time. And I’m so sorry. I never should have dragged her into this; gotten her caught up in my bullshit. I was…I was a coward, okay? A goddamn coward. But I’m done avoiding fixing my mistakes. Because when I tried to run from my problems, I hurt the best girl I know. And I want—need her to know that I’ll prove how much she means to me, if she’ll let me.”

Jess turns to you, her eyes wide and slightly misty, obviously moved by Eddie’s words. She puts her hand over her heart and inclines her head towards you, silently asking if you’ve changed your mind. And it’s tempting. How many times did you fantasize about Eddie making some big dramatic declaration about how much he cares for you? But you’re scared. Scared this is some sort of false hope. That you’ll let yourself be ensnared by his spell and let yourself get hurt again and again. You’ve never had fear like this before and it’s as if your body and mind just want to shut down.

“No,” you say, shaking your head. “I-I don’t want to see him.” 

Now Jess goes from moved to annoyed. She plants her hands on her hips and takes a few steps closer to where you’re curled up on the old floral couch. “Are you kidding me right now? I’ve listened to you sing the praises of this man for a year now. How sweet and kind and wonderful he is. Listened to you say over and over again how much you love him and how if you had him, you’d never take him for granted like his crazy bitch of a wife does.” She flings her hand toward the front door. “Well? He’s here. Trying to apologize for what he’s put you through. You even said yourself when you came home crying the other day that you know he cares about you. So why don’t you at least hear him out?” 

“I don’t want to see him,” you say in a small voice. Sniffling, you shrug your shoulders. “You’ve never seen his eyes.” You shake your head, gaze dropping to your lap. “He has this puppy dog look about him and I know if I see it, I’ll cave no matter what he says.”

“So, go in your room,” Jess says. “I’ll let him up, drop whatever he wants to drop off, let him say his peace. And you can just listen.”

Heaving a sigh, you snatch up the remote and press the pause button. Tossing the blanket from your lap, you stand and make the few steps into your room and shut the door. Jess scurries back over to the intercom, hoping he hasn’t left yet.

“Eddie?”

“Yeah! Yeah, still here.” The hope is clear in his voice as he realizes he hasn’t been ignored completely. 

“Come on up.”

Eddie wastes no time, pulling the door open as soon as Jess presses the button, taking the stairs two at a time and making his way to apartment 217. The sound of his knuckles rapping on the door reaches you in your bedroom and you wrap your arms around your body, mentally preparing yourself to listen to what he has to say. 

“She’s in her room,” you hear Jess tell him. “You can talk through the door. And what have you got to drop off?”

There’s silence except for Eddie’s footsteps and the curiosity of what he’s brought burns in your brain. As his footsteps come right up to the other side of your door, there’s a buzzing in your stomach.

“C-Can you hear me?” Eddie asks.

“Yes,” you say, squeezing your eyes shut. Just the sound of his voice so near has you longing to throw the door open and jump into his arms. You’ve never felt as safe in your life as you did when he was hugging you. 

“I, um.” Eddie clears his throat. “I’m so sorry, sweethea—I’m sorry. I fucked up big time. What are you…” Eddie trails off and your eyebrows pinch in concern. 

“Sorry to interrupt,” Jess says, loudly enough that you know she’s standing next to Eddie. “But you should read this.” There’s a slide against the hardwood of your floor and you look down to see a little white rectangle slip under your door. It’s a business card, you realize as you pick it up. 

Carl Hampton, Esquire

Divorce Attorney

“Turn it over,” Jess says. 

It’s not enough for you to be mine, so I’m taking the first step towards being yours - Eddie

The tears start immediately. Even as you read the note in Eddie’s scrawling handwriting over and over again, your vision goes a little bit blurrier each time. Your hand trembles as you hold the card, the other going up to cover your mouth. Even though you think you’ve been quiet as your crying grows to sobs, you must be louder than you realize.

“Okay, she’s crying,” Eddie says, clearly talking to Jess. 

“Let me go in,” Jess says, but when she cracks the door open you catch sight of Eddie. He’s distorted and fuzzy through your tears, but you’d know that mass of curls anywhere. Jess has just enough time to jump out of the way as you launch yourself into his arms, not sure if this means you forgive him or not, but just knowing you need to be held by him. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Eddie says as he clutches you against his body. “Shhh, it’s okay.” One of his arms is wrapped securely around your waist while his hand on the other comes up to smooth over your hair. “You’re okay.”

Jess sidesteps the two of you embracing, so she can head back into the living room; just far enough to be out of the way but close enough to hear everything. 

Eddie’s touch manages, as always, to calm you down. Something about his entire being makes you feel seen and understood. It’s been that way since day one with him. When you’ve calmed enough that you think you could talk without Jess acting as an interpreter, you pull away from Eddie and wipe your tear streaked face off on the sleeves of your sweatshirt. 

“Eddie, please don’t break up your family for me.”

“Baby,” he slips up with the pet name, but neither of you says anything. “I’m just doing what I should’ve done ages ago. I never should have put you in this position.” Eddie aches to bring his hands up to your face, but he doesn’t want to overstep what you’re comfortable with. It’s killing him to see you visibly upset, knowing he caused it, and just holding you wouldn’t solve anything. 

You nod your head at his words. Some of the pain is starting to ease and you feel like you can breathe properly for the first time in days. You’d told Eddie you just wanted to see him doing something; taking a step in the right direction. And this was a pretty damn good step to take. “You’ve called this guy?”

“No, I didn’t call him. I spent all morning at his office,” Eddie says, and your head snaps up to meet his eyes. “I’ve done everything I have to for the process to begin. Now they work on whatever legal bullshit they’ve got to do, I guess.”

But there’s something else that’s been eating at you. Yes, Eddie should’ve divorced Brittany a long time ago. But now that he’s finally doing it, does he really want to jump from one relationship to another? “Are you sure you want this? You don’t want to stay single for a while? Because I’ll under—”

Eddie caves and brings his hands up to your face, leaning in to press his lips firmly against yours, trying to convey all the love and fondness he can through one kiss. 

“I love you,” Eddie says once he’s pulled away. “And you don’t have to say it back if you don’t feel it, but I needed to tell you. I fucking love you.”

There’s never been so much confusion in your heart before. Eddie loves you. The thought can’t seem to sink in. Eddie loves me. You know wholeheartedly that you reciprocate the feeling. You’ve known that you love him for a long time. But there’s still so much fear. It’s dampening the excitement of his declaration.

“I—I’m afraid,” you murmur, eyes unable to meet his. 

Eddie frowns, taking your chin in his hand and tilting it slightly upwards. “Am I that mean and scary?” There’s some humor behind his words, but they’re tinged with concern. 

“No.” You shake your head. “I’m afraid that if I say it back and it—it makes it real, it’ll hurt even more if…” You can’t even finish the sentence without choking up. 

“Hey, hey,” Eddie presses his lips to yours. “It’s okay. I get it. Baby, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared, too. I mean, an old man like me getting involved with a total knockout like you? Beauty and brains?” He chuckles. “Let’s face it, pretty girl. I have a lot more to lose than you do.”

“I…I…” you hesitate, trying to muster up an ounce of courage. “I can’t do this, Eddie.” You gently press the business card back into his palm. “I can’t be in love with someone who’s married.” Your eyes widen as you come to a realization that makes you sick. “The boys…they’ll know I’m the reason that their parents split up.” You imagine their sweet, innocent faces blotchy with tears as they tell you they hate you. 

Eddie’s posture goes tense, and he almost sounds angry as he says, “Absolutely not. You gave me the courage to file, but my marriage was over long before this.” Your lips brush together in a series of chaste kisses. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” He rests his nose on yours; the saltiness of his own tears mixing with yours as they seep into your tongue. 

“I think we need to wait,” you blurt out, words tumbling from your mouth before you can think them through. “Until Brittany knows that you’ve filed, and you’ve talked about it with the kids.” It’s painful to push him away, but it’ll hurt worse if you continue this and he decides not to follow through with the divorce. 

Eddie looks crushed, like he was hoping to sweep you off your feet and make love to you right then and there. “Right, yeah. That makes sense.” He sniffles, trying to will away the sting of your rejection. “When that happens, we can finally be together?”

“If that’s what we both want.”

“Baby, I’ll never stop wanting you.” He’s so tempted to pull you into him and leave harsh, bruising kisses down your jawline, claiming you as his. “I’ll wait as long as you need.”

You just nod, twiddling your thumbs to keep yourself from intertwining your fingers with his. “Do you still want me to watch the boys?” you ask shyly, cheeks burning at the ridiculousness of the question. “Because I get it if—”

“If it’s okay with you. We’d—they’d—really miss you if you just up and left.” I’d miss you most of all, he thinks, but keeps it buttoned up inside. 

“Yeah,” you concede, stepping back towards your bed. “I’ll see you all later, then.”

You’re about to close the door when you hear him say, “Wait.” He steps closer to you, business card between his pointer and middle fingers. “Hold onto this f’me, please?”

You initially hesitate before accepting the card again. “Okay.”

“Never want you to forget how I feel about you,” Eddie says, placing one last kiss on your cheek before he’s out the door, leaving you in a spiral of your own racing thoughts. 

As soon as Jess hears his footsteps disappear down the hall, she’s in your room. “I don’t normally tell you what to do,” she murmurs, rubbing small circles on your back, “but if you don’t marry this man, I will.”

You give her a playful nudge as you rest your head on her shoulder. “He’s gotta get un-married first,” you remind her—and yourself—bitterly. 

After the conversation you had with Eddie earlier in the day, you’re a little worried things will be awkward when you pick Luke and Ryan up from school. But thankfully, they’re the same happy kids you know and love, and not a thing is different with them. It’s almost time for Eddie to come home when the three of you are finishing up a game of Candyland. Luke kept getting caught in the Molasses Swamp, so he huffs as you enlist their help in cleaning up the board and pieces. When the little boy stomps down the hall to put the game away, Ryan looks up at you. You give him a smile and his gaze shifts back to his lap. He glances back up at you and the unusual behavior makes you frown.

“What’s up, buttercup?” you ask.

“Why were you sad?” he asks, voice soft.

Frowning, you move some hair off of his forehead. “What do you mean?”

“On Saturday. You were talking with Daddy and then you got really sad and left. You didn’t even come say hi.” His sad brown eyes look so much like his father’s that it brings you back to when Eddie gave you the same look this morning. 

“I didn’t know you saw me.” You pause, fidgeting with your fingers in your lap. You’re not sure if Eddie had already said anything about it or not and you don’t want to contradict any explanation he might have given the kids. “Um, well, I was having a bad day. Do you ever have a day where you just don’t feel very happy?” Ryan nods. “That’s what it was. And I didn’t want to make you or Luke sad too, so that’s why I didn’t say hi.”

“Oh,” Ryan says, nodding his head. “Are you still sad?”

“Not as much,” you tell him truthfully. “Just a little.”

His little hand comes over and takes yours. “I don’t want you to be sad. You know what Daddy tells me when I get sad? That he loves me. And I love you. So, I’m telling you that.”

The smile that comes to your face is reflexive. Ryan is such a sweet boy, and you can’t imagine what your life would be like without him. You lean in and press a kiss to his hair, mumbling against it. “Seems to be a trend with the Munson boys today.”

“What?” Ryan asks.

“I love you, too,” you tell him, squeezing his hand gently. “You made me feel better.”

“Good!” A smile lights up his face and you wonder how this kid became so sweet despite having a mother like he does. Then the obvious answer hits you: Eddie’s his dad. Sweet, kind, means-well-but-sometimes-fucks-it-up Eddie.

You’re jostled from your thoughts by the sound of a key turning in the lock. Eddie hustles in, giving you a small smile.

“Hi,” he says simply, waiting for your response to see how he should proceed. He shoves his hands into the pockets of his coveralls.

“Hi.” You stand up and return his smile. “The boys were great today, as always.” You rest your palm on Ryan’s shoulder as he gives his dad a grin, showing off the gaps where his missing teeth are.

“We played Candyland, and I won,” he proudly reports. “And then I used your cheer-up trick! You know, when you tell someone you love that you love them.”

“Oh?” Eddie cocks an eyebrow. “Luke was that upset about losing?”

You shake your head. “No–well, yes,” you chuckle softly. “But he was talking about me. He saw that I was sad on Saturday and wanted to make me feel better.”

A wider smile spreads across Eddie’s face. “You’re a thoughtful kid, you know that?” he tells his oldest son, who doesn’t quite understand the concept of rhetorical questions.

“I know.” His candid demeanor makes you and Eddie laugh, and Ryan sprints to his brother’s room to announce that their dad is home.

You reach for your jacket, eager to leave before you’re tempted to talk to Eddie. Because you know precisely where that will lead.

“Hey, um,” Eddie digs into his pocket and pulls out more bills than usual from his wallet. “I’m gonna tell her tonight. Figured that’d go over better than just having her served.” He hands you your salary plus two extra twenties. “Could you take the boys out for dinner? Could just be McDonald’s or somethin’.”

You swallow thickly as you accept the money. “Y-Yeah,” you stammer, “how long will you need?”

“Give us an hour?” he shrugs. “Don’t think it’ll take that long; she’ll probably yell for a few minutes and then leave. But just in case she decides to stick around and scream for a while.” His chocolate brown eyes meet yours, making you shiver. “Thank you, baby–I mean, thank you. For, um, for everything.”

“Of course,” you nod. There’s a beat of awkward silence before you say, “I’ll go tell Luke and Ryan. They’ll probably be excited to have a Happy Meal.”

Eddie bites his lower lip as he watches you walk away. It’s going to be the hardest conversation of his life, but knowing it’ll bring you back to him makes it worth it.

Brittany comes home after you’ve already left with the kids, thankfully. Eddie’s waiting at the kitchen table, hands folded in front of him and knee bouncing up and down in nervousness. Brittany hangs up her coat and pauses as she passes the kitchen, raising an eyebrow as she sees her husband sitting there. 

“Um, hi?” she says.

“Hi, um.” Eddie kicks out the seat across from him at the table. “Can you sit? I need to talk to you about something.”

To his complete shock, she complies. “Where are the boys?”

“Uh, out to dinner. I needed to talk to you. Alone.”

“Okay.” Brittany crosses her arms over her chest before her face contorts in a sneer. “Wait. Is that little whore pregnant?”

Eddie bangs his palm against the table before pointing a finger at her. “Don’t you fucking call her that.” He takes a moment to compose himself, then a small smile creeps on his face as he thinks about the question. At the very thought of you having his baby.

“Holy shit, she is!” Brittany shouts.

“Oh, calm down!” Eddie rolls his eyes and motions for her to relax. “She’s not.”

“What’s with that dopey grin then, huh?” She spits the words at him, venom lacing every syllable. 

“Honestly? Cause the thought of her having my baby makes me really fucking happy. But that’s not—.”

“Ugh!” Brittany screeches. “What is wrong with you? I am your wife. Me! Remember? The one you promised yourself to?”

Eddie throws his head back and laughs, a hand slapping against his chest. “You’re actually serious? Really, Britt? You realize you’re the one who broke the vows first, remember? Years and years ago. So, you don’t get to act all high and mighty here.” Eddie licks over his lips, shaking his head. “You’re right, technically. You are my wife.” Not for long, he thinks to himself. “But we’ve been over a long time.”

“Just because you’ve decided it?” She arches a perfectly sculpted eyebrow. 

“Because you stepped out and stopped giving a shit about me.” Eddie holds his hands up. “I’m getting off track. Listen, I saw a lawyer today.”

“Why?” she snaps.

“I filed for divorce.” No sugar coating it. No beating around the bush. This shitshow of a marriage has already taken up too much of Eddie’s time. “And don’t blame her for it, because all she did was give me the courage to do what I should’ve done ages ago.” His eyes are blazing. “You only kept me around so you could pretend to have this perfect little life: husband, kids, house in the suburbs. Or maybe because you get some sick pleasure from stringing me along while you sleep with half the town.” That last part is probably a step too far, but he doesn’t care.

Brittany scoffs incredulously. “Fine, Eddie. You two enjoy your Barbie Dreamhouse life together. The boys and I will manage without you.” She starts to stand up, but she’s drawn back by a loud guffaw from Eddie. “What?”

“Do you really think they’re gonna want to live with you? Do you even know what goddamn grade they’re in? What they want to be when they grow up?” He watches her face fall. “That’s what I fuckin’ thought. And you know the saddest part? They know it, too. They know that their own mother doesn’t give a shit about them.” He wipes a tear from his cheek. “I bet you know every last detail about your boyfriends, though. You and your fucked up priorities.”

Brittany’s expression turns from shock to rage. “Get. Out.” she seethes, gritting her teeth. “Go stay with your girlfriend, since you love her so much.” She’s crying, too, but because she’s losing the argument, not because she’s losing her husband.

“You’re gonna wake up with them and get them ready for school in the morning? Tell me; what do they eat for breakfast?” He laughs tersely at her silence. “That’s what I thought.” He crosses his arms over his chest. “I’m staying here. For Ryan and Luke.” His voice softens slightly. “You can stay here, too, until we sort this shit out.”

Brittany doesn’t take him up on his offer; instead, she storms out of the room and into the bedroom. She starts tossing clothes into a duffel bag, zipping it up and tossing it over her shoulder. “I’ll be back tomorrow after they go to school to get the rest of my things.”

She slams the screen door behind her, and Eddie hears her car start up and peel out of the driveway. He allows himself to sob, mourning the life he’d once had. But he still has his boys; his incredible, gentle, loving sons. 

And if he plays his cards right, he has you, too.

Eddie finally drags himself from the kitchen table to the bathroom where he washes his face. It’s all red and splotchy from the crying, and the tears are sticky on his skin. As he’s toweling himself off, the bathroom light glints off his golden wedding ring, reflecting in the mirror above the sink. Eddie sets the soft towel down and stares at his left hand. He should be upset about taking it off, he thinks. But as he slips it off his finger all he feels is immense relief. It’s as if the ring weighed a ton and now without it, he feels light as a feather. Walking into his room, he pulls open his bedside table and drops the ring inside. He’ll have to think of something to do with it, but for now, it’s fine lying in the dusty old drawer. 

The front door opens, and two loud voices echo back to the master bedroom. Rubbing his hands over his face one last time, Eddie heads out to greet his family.

“Daddy!” Luke calls when he sees him. “Look! I got a race car toy!”

“Wow,” Eddie says, taking the small blue car from his son. He looks it over and nods his head appreciatively. “This looks like something I’d want to work on in the garage.”

Luke giggles and takes the toy back, happily going over to the coffee table which he pretends is a road for his new car to drive over. 

“Hi, Dad! Bye, Dad!” Ryan runs towards the bathroom, making Eddie chuckle.

“Wasn’t sure he was going to make it home,” you say. Eddie slips his hands into the pockets of his jeans and gives you a small smile. His eyes catch on the chocolate shake in your hands, and you hold it out to him. “Got you this. Thought you might need it.”

“Thanks,” Eddie says as he accepts the treat. 

“How’d it go?” you ask.

Eddie heaves a sigh and shakes his head. “Pretty much how I expected it to. She left for the night—went God knows where. Says she’ll be back tomorrow for her things.”

As tense as things are between you and Eddie, you can’t help but step forward and place a comforting hand on his shoulder, rubbing over the thin material of his t-shirt. “I’m sorry. I can't imagine how hard it was for you.”

“The conversation? Yeah. Doing it? Nah. That wasn’t hard,” he says with a shrug. “How were the boys?”

You both know they were fine, but you take the hint that Eddie doesn’t want to talk about it anymore. He lifts the shake to his mouth and your eyes catch on his hand. At the bare ring finger. The sight makes your tummy do a weird flip that you’re not sure how to interpret. 

“They—They were fine. Good,” you say. “I, um, I should go now. Jess is probably wondering where I am.” You grab your keys and head for the door. 

“Wait!” Eddie calls out, a bit louder than he’d meant to. “Sorry. I just wanted you to know that there’s no time limit on…on us. I mean, if it’s a definite no, I’ll shut up and leave you alone...”

“Eddie,” you smile, more genuinely than before. “You’ve never shut up before, and I don’t expect you to start now.”

“You know what I mean though, right?”

“I do,” you agree. “And I need time to think, but it’s…we’re not off the table.”

Eddie grins; he has to stop himself from picking you up and spinning you around in celebration. “I can live with that,” he says finally. 

“You’d better.”

Sure enough, Brittany comes back the next morning to pack more of her clothes. She briefly kisses Luke and Ryan hello, shooting a glare at Eddie that could kill.

“I’m giving you until Friday to move out,” she snarls once the boys are out of earshot. “We can figure out custody shit with the lawyer, but I think it’s best for them to be in the house for now. With me,” she adds pointedly.

Eddie sighs, exhausted from just the prospect of arguing. “Fine,” he concedes, “but just because I’m moving out doesn’t mean I’m not gonna fight like hell for them.” He zips up his coveralls and calls out for the kids to put their shoes on before they miss the bus.

“Whatever, Eddie,” Brittany rolls her eyes, slipping on her blazer and her nametag. “You know they won’t take kids from their mom. You’ll just get every other weekend like the rest of the loser dads.” 

Eddie takes the week to pack up his things, a pit in his stomach as he gets to the photos on his nightstand. The one of him and Brittany can go in the trash, but his heart pangs at the framed picture of his boys. The thought of waking up in the morning without them right down the hall is enough to make him cry.

“No,” he tells himself, “I’m gonna get custody of them. Full custody.” He can picture a new little home with you, Luke, and Ryan. And maybe another baby Munson or two, if you’re willing.

He makes plans with Steve to stay with him and his family, but on Friday morning, an exasperated phone call thwarts his plans.

“Hey, Munson,” Steve coughs into the phone, and Eddie winces when he hears how sick his friend sounds. “The whole Harrington bunch has the flu. It’s like an infirmary here.” He laughs softly, resulting in another round of hacking coughs. “I don’t think we’re quite up for visitors right now. I’m sorry, man.”

“S’okay,” Eddie grumbles. “Feel better.” He doesn’t have time to figure out new plans before he has to get to work, so he’ll just have to brainstorm through his oil changes today. 

When you pick the kids up from school that afternoon, you immediately notice how quiet both boys are—especially Ryan. You’re almost positive you know the reason why, but you debate with yourself the whole ride back to the house if you should say anything. 

Luke seems to be in a better mood once he gets a snack in him. He sits on the couch, little legs tucked up underneath his body as he munches on graham crackers and watches Scooby Doo. Ryan is still noticeably glum though, sitting at the kitchen table, his finger tracing random patterns on the green tabletop. 

“Hey,” you say, taking the seat next to him. There’s no way you can just stand by and see this sweet boy feel so lousy. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right? If something is bothering you or is on your mind. Anything.”

Ryan nods his head, and you think he’s going to stay silent. But after a few moments he lifts his head up towards you, his large brown eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I don’t want to live here with Mom.”

It’s not what you expected to come out of his mouth. Any variation of “mom and daddy are breaking up” is what you thought you were going to hear. 

“What do you mean, sweetheart?”

Ryan sniffles and wipes his nose on his sleeve. Any other time you’d correct him for it, but the least you could do is let it pass. 

“Daddy said Mom is staying here and Luke and I can’t come with him yet. He’s going to stay with Uncle Steve and it’s not fair because I know they have a big house and I’m little enough to share a room with Daddy. But he said me or Luke can’t.” 

Releasing a sigh, you wrap your arm around Ryan’s shoulders. It’s times like these where you don’t feel like the adult you legally have been for years. When you were a kid you thought adults always knew the right thing to say. Now you know that’s bullshit. 

“Oh, Ryan.” You press a kiss to the top of his head. “You know Daddy would give anything to have you both with him, don’t you? You know how much he loves you.”

“More than Mom does,” Ryan says matter-of-factly. It breaks your heart that he knows that at only seven years old. And you can’t bring yourself to lie to the boy by refuting the claim. 

“Daddy loves you so much,” you reiterate. “And I love you.”

“Hey,” Ryan says with a small smile. “You used Daddy’s trick, too.” 

“Look at that,” you say. “And I didn’t even mean to. I was just telling you the truth about how much I love you.” You pull him into a hug, and he climbs in your lap. The only other time he’s done this before was when he was sick, so you know he desperately needs the comfort. “Hey, I’ve got you. Everything is going to be okay.” Cradling him against your body, you rest your head on top of his. 

By the time Eddie gets home, both of the boys are crashed on the couch with you, one tucked on either side as Toy Story plays on the television. Their father looks wrung out as he steps inside, bags under his eyes and exhaustion worn into lines on his face. Both boys jump up and run to him like normal, but the way they cling to him this time is more desperate and needy. It brings a stinging pressure behind your eyes, and you have to blink it away.

“Hey!” Eddie says, attempting to be cheerful for them. “There’s my boys! How was your day?”

“Okay,” Ryan says at the same time that Luke shrugs. Eddie kisses both of their heads before unzipping his coveralls and giving you a small, weary smile. 

You’re not sure why, but you get the urge to stand up and follow Eddie down the hallway. He raises an eyebrow when you follow him into his room. Your eyes take in the boxes around the cleared-out space before looking back to him.

“Are you okay?” 

“Uh,” Eddie says with a shrug. “Hanging in there, I guess.” He sighs and runs a hand down his face. “Gotta blow some cash on a hotel though ‘cause the Harrington clan got the flu.” 

You frown at that. The offer is on the tip of your tongue, but you take a moment to consider it. Is it a good idea? Sure, the tension has eased a bit between the two of you over the course of the week, but it’s still there. It’s not that you feel awkward around him, exactly, it’s more of a yearning that you’re trying to keep in check. But you still love him, and you don’t want to see him wasting his money or spending time all alone holed up in some hotel.

“Eddie, don’t do that. Save your money. Come stay with me.”

His jaw drops and a rough chuckle falls from his mouth. “Sweetheart—you, you don’t have to do this. Really, it’s fine.”

Taking a step closer, you grab one of Eddie’s hands in your own. “You’re about to be a single dad to two growing boys. And paying a lawyer to try and get custody. Come on, just stay with me.” 

Eddie sighs, your logic wearing him down. Finally, he nods his head and licks over his lips. “Okay. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“No, it’s okay,” you tell him. “As long as you’re not wearing your dirty coveralls, you’re more than welcome to sleep next to me.” 

He sticks his tongue out at you. “My coveralls don’t make the cut, but you’re fine after being around germ machines all day?”

“They’re your germ machines!” you remind him.

When Brittany gets home, she completely ignores you. “You can go now,” she says to her soon-to-be-ex-husband. “Is your stuff packed already?” Eddie nods, but she’s already walked past him. 

“Boys, come say goodbye to your dad!” Brittany calls out half-heartedly. Eddie cringes at the way it sounds: your dad. Not dad, the father of this family; now he’s an outsider in his own home. 

Ryan and Luke trudge out of their rooms. “Daddy,” Luke asks softly, “can you stay? Please? You can sleep in my room if you don’t want to be near Mom.”

Eddie blinks back tears. “I’m sorry, bud,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to each of their foreheads. “That’s real nice of you to offer, though.”

“I love you, Daddy.” Ryan throws his arms around his dad, squeezing him tight. “‘M gonna miss you.”

“Hey, hey,” Eddie forces out a chuckle, “I’m moving out; I’m not dead.” He looks up at you, and you give him a small, encouraging smile. “I’ll stop by tomorrow and we can go to the park, yeah?”

“All of us?” asks Ryan. 

“Um,” Eddie clears his throat, “I don’t know if Mom will—”

“No,” Ryan shakes his head. “I meant…” He looks at you, and you’re taken aback. 

“I don’t want to interrupt your father-son bonding time,” you gently tease, trying not to overstep your bounds. 

“But we want you to come!” Luke protests, glancing at Ryan for confirmation, who nods. “You can play tag with us. Daddy’s too old.”

“Excuse me, sir!” Eddie gasps. “Could an old man do this?” He takes each boy in one arm and throws them over his shoulder. They’re giggling and kicking their feet; Luke narrowly misses Eddie’s groin. “Hey, be careful of the family jewels,” he warns, making them laugh even harder. 

When he sets them down, he looks them square in the eyes. “Tomorrow. Playground. The four of us. And I will kick your little butts in tag. Got it?”

“Got it!” the boys echo, giving him one last hug before going back to play. 

You turn to Eddie. “Y’okay?” you ask him, though it seems like a dumb question. 

“Getting there,” he admits, slinging a duffel bag over his shoulder and managing a smile. “Let’s hit the road.”

Eddie throws his bag in his van and climbs in. He follows you as you drive to your apartment and pulls into the parking space next to you. When Eddie steps out of his van, you can tell he’d been crying on the drive over, but you can’t blame him one bit. 

Jess is sitting on the couch when the two of you walk in, a bowl of popcorn in her lap and Pretty Woman playing on the television. Her hand freezes halfway to her mouth, a few kernels of popcorn stuck between her fingers and her jaw hanging open.

“Hi, again,” Eddie says, giving her a sheepish smile. Jess raises her other hand in greeting, eyes darting over to look at you. 

“Yeah, we uh, we’ve got a house guest for now,” you say, cheeks getting warm. You gesture for Eddie to go ahead of you, into your room. Jess raises her eyebrows at you when you walk past, and you playfully swat at her before following in behind him. Closing the door, you lean against it as you watch Eddie drop his duffel onto your floor. 

“You hungry?” you ask. Eddie shrugs and slides his hands into his pockets. You huff a laugh and roll your eyes. “Eddie, we have food. I can make something.”

“Don’t wanna put you out any more than I am,” he says, shrugging again. 

“So, what? You’re not going to eat the whole time you’re here?” You raise your eyebrows at him and walk over, tugging on the zipper of his leather jacket. “You’re also allowed to take your jacket off, ya know? We don’t make our guests sweat or starve themselves to death.”

“Such a good hostess,” Eddie says with a playful smirk. 

“Oh, come on.” You open your bedroom door and walk out to the kitchen, waiting as Eddie trails along behind you. Pursing your lips, you open the freezer and peer inside. “Should we have ice cream sundaes for dinner?”

“Oh, the boys would be so jealous.” Eddie chuckles and reaches in to grab the ice cream. You put two bowls down on the counter and Eddie starts scooping as you grab any toppings you can find. Whipped cream, sprinkles, chocolate chips, cherries, and chocolate sauce. Eddie dips his finger in the chocolate sauce and puts a dot of it on your nose. He laughs when you go cross eyed trying to look at it. 

“Whipped cream, please,” you say, holding your hand out. The sound of the spout spraying out the airy cream meets your ears before you feel the cold stickiness hitting your palm. “I meant the can!”

Eddie’s smirk falls from his face as you lick the whipped topping from your hand, instantly realizing he walked right into you teasing him like that. It hadn’t been your intention to tease him though, and you feel your face warm up as you swallow the mouthful. Neither of you having eaten in hours, you inhale the sundaes, and Eddie manages to only get brain freeze once. You put the empty bowls in the sink to be washed later, and Eddie says he’s going to take a quick shower. As you grab a towel for him, you tease him about making sure he gets all the dirt from his coveralls off his body. He tugs on a strand of your hair before heading into the bathroom.

Even though it’s early, you change into your pajamas and get comfortable on your bed. You pull out your worn copy of Little Women and reread it for what must be the hundredth time. You’re so enraptured by Jo and Laurie’s banter that you don’t even hear the shower turn off. 

“Jesus H. Christ!” Eddie’s voice snaps you from your book. Your jaw nearly drops to the ground when you see him walk in, wearing nothing but the towel around his lithe waist. His curly hair is dripping wet, leaving little water droplets along his bare shoulders as he scrambles for his clothes. “Shit, ‘m sorry. Forgot my suitcase…”

“It’s fine,” you reassure him, marking your page with an old receipt and closing the book. “Nothing I haven’t seen before.”

Eddie blushes, and it’s simultaneously the cutest and sexiest thing you’ve ever seen. “Y-Yeah, but we’re not doing, um, that anymore, so…” He grabs a clean pair of boxers and plaid pajama pants. “I’ll just get changed in the bathroom.” 

He comes back without a shirt on, and you cock an eyebrow in amusement. “Forget something?” you ask, trying to play it cool and not salivate at the sight of his tattooed chest. 

“Oh, yeah…” he grins sheepishly. “I usually get too warm to sleep with a shirt, b-but I can put one on if you’d feel more comfortable.”

The ache between your legs tells you that something else has to happen to alleviate your discomfort, but you push away that thought. “Nah, I’d rather sleep next to a shirtless Eddie than a sweaty one.” But that’s bullshit; you’d sleep next to any version of him you could get. 

Eddie flips you off before climbing into bed. “Longest week of my life,” he mutters. His arm instinctively snakes around your waist; it isn’t until you move to flick off your lamp that he realizes. “Fuck, ‘m just so used to holding you.” He starts to pull away, but you hold his hand in place. 

“You can hold me…if you want to,” you murmur, sliding deeper under the covers. “Y’don’t have to.”

But Eddie’s already tugging your back to his chest. “Don’t have to tell me twice.” His voice is muffled, face nuzzled against your shoulder blade. “Oh, and don’t mind him if he’s excited in the morning. He has a mind of his own.”

You throw his words back at him. “Don’t have to tell me twice.”

A comfortable silence fills the air as you lay in his arms. He presses tiny kisses along your shoulders, making you shiver. 

“Eddie?” Your voice is so small that even you barely hear it. “Can I ask you something?” You adjust yourself so that you’re facing him, your nose touching his. His big hands fall to your thighs, and he rubs his thumb along them as he waits for you to elaborate. “The other day, when you said you love me…why?”

His face scrunches up in confusion. “Why did I say it? Or why do I love you?”

“Both, I guess.”

“Well,” he starts, bringing one palm up to cup your cheek, “I love you because you treat me and my boys with love, kindness, and respect. I love you because you make me smile on my worst days. Saying goodbye to Ryan and Luke tonight…I thought my heart was gonna break in half. But then you were there, and I knew everything would be all right. Maybe not right now, but it will be. You give me hope. And I haven’t felt that for a long time.” He offers you a little smile. “And I told you because you deserve to know how fucking loved you are.”

His confession leaves you breathless; it takes you a moment to process it all. “Eddie Munson, the fact that anyone made you question your worth…” you trail off, shaking your head. That isn’t what this is about. “You make me happy. I never knew that one person could be so kind, so thoughtful, so loving. And your boys…God, they’re just the best kids, all because of you. They see what a gentle, sensitive man you are, and they’re not afraid to show that side of themselves.”

“I’m actually very burly,” he pouts. “Dunno why you’re painting me as this big ol’ softy.”

“You’re right; I’m sorry,” you giggle. “You’re the toughest, grittiest guy I know. You could fight a kangaroo and win.” You feel his fingertips dig into your hips as he brings you even closer to him. ���And those are just some of the reasons why…why I love you, Eddie.”

Even in the dim lighting of your darkened room you can see the way Eddie’s face lights up at your words. If your stomach wasn’t already a flurry from finally telling him how you feel, it would be from the sheer joy in his expression. 

“Say it again,” Eddie pleads, hand coming up to cup your cheek. “Please.”

“I love you, Eddie.” His smile is contagious as you mirror it, saying the words that have long been on your heart. 

“I love you, too.” 

It’s far from your first kiss, but as the two of you lean in towards one another, the electricity crackles in the air around you. There’s a giddiness and an earnesty when your lips touch that sends a shockwave through your body. It’s not your first kiss but it’s your first kiss since you’ve declared your love for one another. That makes it your favorite kiss of all. 

Eddie rests his forehead against yours, hand sliding down to your neck and his thumb brushing over your pulse point. Goosebumps break out on your skin beneath his touch, and he chuckles as he feels them against his fingertips. 

“Can’t believe you react that way because of me,” he says. “I feel like all of this is too good to be true.” 

You nod, your hand coming up to rest on top of his black widow tattoo, over his heart. “I know what you mean. I felt that way our first night.”

“Mm, but now,” Eddie says, pausing to press a kiss to the corner of your mouth. “It’s just you and me and nothing has to be hidden. I can take you out, hold your hand in public, kiss you in front of whoever I want—with your permission, of course.”

“What about the boys?” Your hand comes up to play with the damp curls at the base of his neck. “What do we tell them? It might be confusing for them to go straight from ‘Daddy loves Mom’ to ‘Daddy loves our babysitter.’” 

“That wasn’t exactly how it happened,” Eddie says with a breathy chuckle. “More like ‘Daddy stopped loving Mom a long time ago because she’s evil incarnate and then he met the most beautiful, wonderful, amazing woman who stole his heart.’”

“That might be a little tough for them to swallow,” you say, a playful smirk on your lips. 

“Well…” Eddie says, looking up at you through his dark eyelashes. There’s a shy expression on his face and it’s so foreign to his features. “What are we, then? Like, how would you want to describe what we have?” 

It sounds like such a high school question, but it’s important to figure it out and make sure you’re both on the same page. Husband and wife? your brain thinks automatically. You feel like you’re going to have to constantly kick yourself in the ass to make sure you don’t get ahead of yourself.

“Hmm,” you hum. “Well, you mentioned taking me out. Why don’t you ask me on a proper first date?”

“God, I haven’t done that since high school,” Eddie says.

“Didn’t they call it courting back then? You know, in the 1920’s?”

Eddie smirks and his hands instantly attach to your sides, tickling you until you’re a squealing, squirming mess below him. 

“Okay, so how about for our first date I take you to the bingo hall?” Eddie’s flat voice makes you giggle even harder. You drop your forehead to his shoulder and cuddle your body closer to his. 

“Nope,” you say, popping the p. “M’not 21 yet. Can't gamble.”

“Or drink,” Eddie realizes, his eyes widening. “Holy shit, I’m dating a Cabbage Patch Kid.”

A blush comes to your cheeks as you laugh, deciding not to point out that there is in fact a Cabbage Patch doll sitting in the corner of your room. “So, we’re dating, huh?”

“I guess we will be once I think of a perfect place to take you,” he says, pressing a kiss to your forehead. 

“And ask me,” you remind him, raising your eyebrows. 

“Right, right.” Eddie clears his throat. “Sweetheart, would you make me the happiest metal head this side of the Mississippi and accompany me on a date next Friday?”

Pursing your lips, you pretend to think his offer over. His eyes narrow at you as the silence stretches on.

“I would be honored, Edward.”

His nose wrinkles up at the formality of his full name. “Ugh, that sounds so snobby. Edward.”

“Hmm,” you tease. “How about Edwin? Edmund? Edgar?”

“Uh, no.”

“Oedipus?”

“Isn’t that the guy who fucked his mom and killed his dad?”

The rest of the night is like this; being silly and sneaking kisses as you cuddle up into each other. You feel so safe against Eddie’s chest, enveloped in his warmth. You start to drift off to sleep, but your rest is disrupted by his constant tossing and turning.

“Something on your mind?” You try to keep your voice light, but you can’t help the concern that seeps through.

Eddie slips his arm around your waist, thrumming his fingers along your hip. “Can’t stop thinking about my boys,” he murmurs. “I just wish they were here, too. Hate knowing that I won’t wake up in the morning to them fighting over Hot Wheels.”

You sigh, debating whether or not to tell him what you know. “I talked to Ryan today,” you begin, hoping you’re doing the right thing, “and he said that he wants to live with you. Not, um, her. He was sad that he and Luke had to stay in the house and not come with you.”

“Oh.” Eddie’s silent, processing what he’s just heard. “That makes me feel good, I guess. Too bad a judge won’t care.”

“What do you mean?” You prop yourself up on your elbow, facing him.

“She said that dads usually just get every other weekend, holidays, y’know,” he bites his lip nervously, and you kiss it to distract him. “I mean, I’m glad they don’t hate me, but it makes me sad that they’ll have to be with her if they don’t want to be.”

You shake your head. “Eddie, the boys–especially Ryan–are old enough that a judge will listen to what they want. And if they tell him or her that they’re more comfortable living with their dad, you might be able to get full custody.” He’s still quiet, so you press on. “I know you don’t want them being too involved in it, but it might be worth it if it means they get to be with you.”

Eddie caresses your cheek, a smile spreading across his face. “How do you always do this?”

“Do what?”

“Make me happy. Make me realize that everything will be okay.” He kisses your forehead lightly before yawning, finally able to relax. “I fuckin’ love you, baby. Sweet dreams.”

Waking up next to Eddie is the best feeling in the world. And he wasn’t lying about his morning…situation. You can feel his hard length pressing up against your thigh as he softly snores. You know you should probably wait until your first official date, but you haven’t stopped craving him since your last time together, back at the auto shop. Before you can stop yourself, you’re kissing his neck, the slight stubble that’s formed overnight scratching your cheek.

“Hey, sugar,” he murmurs sleepily. “What’s gotten into you, hm?”

“Missed you,” you manage, wrapping your leg around his so they’re intertwined. 

He chuckles, voice groggy and deeper than usual. “Missed me? ‘M right here.” His eyebrows shoot up when you reach down and gently graze his morning wood. “Oh, shit,” he hisses, “baby, if you touch me there…”

“I know,” you say between kisses. “I want you to. Please.”

Eddie’s fingertips dig into your side. “Y’know I can’t turn you down when you beg for me like that,” he growls, hooking a finger into the waistband of your lace panties and tugging them off. Before you can ask him for more, he’s diving beneath the sheets, bringing his lips to your inner thighs, alternating between kissing, sucking, and biting.

“St-stop teasing me, Eds,” you whimper. He’s so fucking close to where you need him to be, yet too far away. You can see the outline of his head as he gives a little nod, plunging between your legs. He licks a stripe up your folds, breathing heavily as he tastes you.

“You’re fuckin’ delicious,” he says, words vibrating along your core. “Could eat this pussy for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, shit.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” you say, one hand fisting your sheet as Eddie’s tongue licks up another stripe. The other hand snakes its way into his messy curls, and he moans when you pull his hair.

 He brings his lips to your clit and sucks on it, grinning as he senses you writhing against him. “You ain’t seen nothin’ yet,” he teases, slipping a finger inside your aching sex. 

“Fuck, Eddie,” you whine, trying not to buck up your hips, but your efforts are fruitless. Eddie’s on a mission to make you come as many times as he possibly can, and he’s making no attempt to hide it. You feel a second thick finger enter your pussy, stretching you slightly. His fingers pump in and out of you, his tongue keeping a relentless pace on your clit. The overstimulation from his mouth and hand pushes you over the edge, and you cry out his name over and over as you finish.

Eddie throws the sheet over his head, grinning widely. His chin is covered in your slick, and he wears it proudly. “That’s one,” he announces. “Ready for another?”

“Y-Yes, please.”

“Y’ask so nice for me, babe.” 

Blushing at his sweet words, you turn your head to hide your face in your pillow. Eddie tuts and gently tugs your chin until you’re looking up at him again. He chuckles at your shy look, leaning down to press slow kisses along your throat. 

“I love you, baby,” he mumbles against your skin. 

“I love you too, Eddie.” You feel his hips align with yours, and your jaw drops open at the pleasurable stretch as he begins to push inside of you. 

“Shit,” Eddie groans. “Missed your tight little pussy.” 

Your fingers clutch at his back, nails sure to leave some raised pink scratches by the time you’re done. “S’big,” you moan. “Don’t know if I can take it all.”

“You can,” he reassures you, going in deeper until he bottoms out. “You’re gonna take it all f’me. ‘M gonna fill you up s’good. Just please, gotta let me move, baby doll.” His eyes are pleading, desperate to rut up inside you.

“Can move, Eddie,” you say, nodding your head. The words have barely left your lips before he’s withdrawing, just to thrust back into you. A gasp leaves your lips as he fills you to the hilt again. It may have only been about a week since you’d slept together, but it felt like an eternity without having him inside of you. 

“Love you,” you say in between moans, and Eddie’s hips pick up the pace at your words.

“Love you, too. Fuck, baby, you keep saying that and this isn’t going to last as long as I want it to.” He huffs a breathy laugh and rests his forehead against yours. 

“That a challenge?” you ask with a smirk.

“Uh uh,” Eddie says, shaking his head. “M’gonna make you come over and over.” As if to prove his point, he slips two fingers into your mouth, putting pressure on your tongue. “Get ‘em nice and wet for me, baby. I know what that pretty mouth can do.”

Slipping your eyes closed, you swirl your tongue around his fingers, moaning around his thick digits. You open your eyes and meet Eddie’s dark gaze, his attention focused solely on your face as his hips keep snapping against yours. Once you release his fingers with a sharp pop, he brings them down to your clit, rubbing in a tight circle. 

A whine escapes your lips as you throw your head back, neck arching and exposed to the man above you. Eddie leans in and attaches his lips to the side of your throat, sucking and biting at the skin, determined to leave you with a mark that won’t fade any time soon. 

“Close, Eddie,” you say, hands coming up to tangle in his long curly locks again. 

“Come on, baby,” Eddie urges. “Gimme another one.” 

You do as he says, arching your back and wrapping your legs around the bottom of his ass and pulling him even deeper inside you. “‘M coming, all f’you.” He nods, slowing his pace slightly and allowing you to come down slightly.

“S’fucking beautiful when you come on my cock,” he muses. “Want one more from you. Can you handle that? Just one more?”

“One more,” you murmur, already fucked out from two back-to-back orgasms.

“Thas’ my good girl.” 

“C-Come with me this time?” you ask, voice hoarse. Tears prick at your eyes, and you wipe them away before he can notice.

“Aww,” Eddie coos, “did I wear my girl out?”

His taunting lights a fire inside you, and you smirk. “Actually, I want you deeper.”

“Fuck,” he throws his head back, withdrawing from you. He chuckles darkly when you hiss at the loss. “The faster you get on your hands and knees, the faster I can be back inside you.”

Muscles weak and protesting the movement, you force yourself to ignore it and do as Eddie says. His hands grab your hips, rough calloused fingers running over your smooth skin. 

“Mm, what a nice view,” Eddie admires as he removes one hand from your body to line his cock up with your hole. He teases you, sliding his length up and down your slit as you drop your head forward. Your whines only encourage him as he watches your hole flutter around nothing. 

“Please, Eddie,” you beg. 

“Anything for my needy girl,” Eddie says, and you don’t need to be looking at him to know there’s a smirk on his face. He slides back inside of you and your arms give out, upper body landing on your pillow. Your fingers scratch at your purple pillowcase as he slams into you. The repeated motion of his hips has the headboard banging against the wall and his heavy balls slapping against your clit. 

“Fuck, baby,” you breathe out. “So deep. So, so deep.”

“Tell me how it feels, princess. How’s it make my girl feel?” Eddie’s hand grabs onto your ass and slides it up your back. 

“So full,” you answer. “Love when you’re inside me.” The pressure of him against your walls has you clenching around his length. “Spank me, Eddie. I’ve been a bad girl.”

Eddie’s hips stutter; you’ve never caught him off-guard like this before. His palm meets your ass with a small whack, but it’s nothing compared to what you need. 

“No, harder. You won’t hurt me.”

A string of swear words slips from his lips as he smacks the fat of your ass with more power, leaving a stinging print. “More?” But he can’t follow through before he stammers, “fuck—shit—‘m coming.” His dick twitches, and he moans as he finishes. “Come with me; want you to cream my cock while I fuck you full of me. Want you to take all my cum, thassagoodgirlfuckfuckfuck.” He spills into you, continuing to thrust. “Take it, take it all. So fuckin’ good f’me, taking all my cum. Bet you want me to knock you up, don’t you?” The words leave his mouth before he can catch them. 

The thought of having Eddie’s baby normally makes you feel all kinds of ways; imagining him tenderly kissing your bump or staring at your newly-larger breasts in awe. It’s all pretend for now, at least until you graduate. 

Thank God for birth control, you think. But then your whole body freezes up. 

In all of last night’s excitement, you’d forgotten to take your pill. 

“Shit!” you cry out, pulling away from him. But it’s too late; you can feel his release dripping down your leg. You turn to him, misty-eyed, and explain the situation. 

“Don’t cry, pretty girl,” Eddie smiles, laying down and motioning for you to snuggle into his chest. “Would it be so bad? Having my baby?”

You shake your head. “I-I want your baby,” you admit, “but I gotta get my degree, get a job…” You gaze up at him incredulously. “You really mean it when you say you wanna get me pregnant? It’s not just dirty talk?”

Eddie laughs, putting his arm around you and pulling you closer. “Baby, if you only knew how many times I’ve gotten off thinkin’ about knocking you up…” He clicks his tongue. “Turns me on so…damn…bad…” he muses, punctuating the last three words with kisses to your neck. 

“Easy there; you just wore me out,” you giggle. “We should be okay. I can take two now, and I’m just a few days from getting my period.” You laugh harder when he frowns. “Don’t tell me you’re grossed out by periods!”

“No, but we can’t…y’know, practice making a baby while…” he pouts, and you tuck his hair behind his ears. 

“I don’t mind a little mess if you don’t,” you shrug. “Besides, orgasms help with cramps.”

His eyes light up. “Consider me your personal heating pad, then.”

You roll your eyes and swing your legs out of bed. “C’mon, we promised the boys we’d take them to the park.”

Eddie groans, overdramatically, and holds his hands over his heart as if he’s been shot. “You found it, baby. Literally the only thing that could get me out of bed with you.” 

This time when you roll your eyes, there’s a fond smile on your face as well. “I’m sure the boys would be glad to know that they’re prioritized over getting laid.”

“Well, first of all,” Eddie says as he scoops up his boxers from where they’d be kicked on the floor. “It’s not just getting laid. It’s having sex with you. Totally different, we’re making love now. Officially!” His face radiates joy as he jumps around, sliding his boxers up. “Because, you know, you said you love me and all. Remember that?”

Turning around from where you were digging some underwear out of your drawer, you put your hands on Eddie’s chest and smile up at him, placatingly. “I do remember. And I remember you saying you love me too. But the boys are still more important.”

Eddie laughs and presses a kiss to your hair. “They’ll understand when they’re older.”

Playfully, you shove him off of you, which only makes him grab you around the waist and pull you up against his body. You’re squealing as you try to get away from him, to collect your clothes for the day. But, unable to shake him, you settle for him helping you get dressed. 

“Can I stay here until the Harrington quarantine is lifted?” he asks, suddenly shy. 

You wrap your arms around his waist, pressing your chest to his. “Baby, you can stay here forever.” 

[theaceofarrows]

I love watching the pjo show with my sister, because both of us have read the books and we're having the time of our lives yelling at the screen. Here are some of my favorite things we've yelled so far

My sister, "It's the Grover cheese scene!"

Both of us "BLACKJACK!"

My sister about Nancy"Have you considered that she's a bitch?"

Me about Chiron "Gaslight, gatekeep, NOT girlboss"

Both of us when Gabe showed up on screen "That fucker" "Asshole"

Me "The Blue candy!"

Sally "I believe my kid" my sister "what a great mom"

Me "di Angelo's delly! My boy!!"

Both of us "poor Grover" "honestly"

Me, when Percy asks about the minotaur wearing underpants "it's a fair question"

My sister about Sally in the car chase "she's got this. She's a New Yorker"

My sister "oh, look it's Thalia"

Me "Annabeth said the thing"

Me, when Dionysus shows up "PETER JOHNSON!" Mr. D "Peter Johnson" "YES!"

My sister when Chiron first shows up as a centaur "give the kid some warning before you just walk up like that"

Me about the Hermes cabin "the crime cabin. The fun cabin"

My sister "unrealistic how none of the Hermes kids stole Percy's stuff"

Us almost everything time Luke says something we know has double meaning "you know, like a liar"

My sister when Percy makes the toilets explode "gee, I wonder who your dad is? Hmm?"

My sister every time someone asks Percy why he doesn't know something "because you don't tell him anything. You are not fucking telling him anything!"

My sister when Percy gets claimed "Why does that trident look more like a dinner fork?" Me "aren't all forks just small tridents" "Okay, true"

My sister about the Poseidon cabin "why is there just a giant water trough in the middle of the room? Why did you think that was a good idea?" "to put rubber ducks in" "okay, fair"

Us whenever Zues is mentioned "FUCK ZUES!"

My sister when Hades is acusesed of stealing the master bolt "would you leave him out of this?! The man just wants to stay with his dog and wife"

My sister when Luke says the shoes are a gift from my dad "that's why they're old hand-me-downs" "so true"

[11queensupreme11]

Everybody fucking minds and always doing it the no sexy way 😞😔

Do love no war babygirls

If we're very decided we can solve all of this in bed! The sexy way

Or play UNO and whoever wins is the top

Sincerely, after watching the dress... Totally would think they're doing some kinky shit 🤣

Beelzebub: we can hold hands if you want 🥺 totally platonic no second intentions here

Percy: *didn't hear anything, cared no shit for what's happening, wants a hot dog with meat that probably is from a rat* what did you say?

Percy watching Sally being happier without her, her friends being happy with some girl... Queen, totally trauma, I'd cry and beg my mom to hold me even if that makes us miserable

Beelzebub, your yandere tendencies are showing. Giving her traumas and comforting her after. Get a man that can do both (please don't get you a man that can do that)

(Give us moooooore I'm starving)

(Waiting for what you're going to do with that, Percy progress- maybe fall is the correct word- is showing queen. Love it)

Anyway, can someone please draw them on their date? 😭 That's so cute, they're literally so perfect together, like that couple that is the black cat boyfriend with his golden retriever girlfriend and they're precious 💞

(Beelzebub worrying about her suicidal thoughts and he admitting he doesn't want to die so much... *Cheff kiss* we love an emo boy that is self aware)

Now, Loki?

Loki, my boy, your panic is beautiful to watch, horrific to endure.

I'm wondering how they are going to deal with being in the same harem? Fight to be the favorite concubine? Seduce their way to Percy's bed?

Percy: you're just a pathetic simp pretending to be an alpha man and you just go destroy mode whenever you're confronted with your own emotions. You love me so much that is making you look pathetic

Loki:

Him switching sides in the moment he accepts he loves her is gold.

He may be crazy, sadistic and a psychopath, but by the gods he's not going to fool himself.

He loves the girl, now he needs to kill all the other people that love the same girl.

Assassination! His favorite hobby! She's so much fun and they haven't even had sex yet! Wonderful wife indeed

And starting with Beelzebub is a wise move, you know? From all of them he's the one that she's the most comfortable with, he could play the slow game he's the one she'd fall at the end (you know, once she forgets about the other world, that he could make happen too).

Right now Beelzebub is that best friend that is the one for her (the other, even if I love them, aren't so close to her). He just needs to wait, fool her and she'd be his

(as if the other are going to let that happen, but is the scent, you know?)

Loki is right to be jealous of him, no one (with a dick) is close to her like him, she's herself with him and is the only one that likes him with his depressive tendencies.

He could say: Percy, for medical reasons, undress yourself and let me study your body. It may end in sexy medical porn, depending on my self control

And she wouldn't see no wrong.

Is Beelzebub! Her bestie! She can trust him with her security (poor navy girl, you can't never trust a man that much). Even if he has feelings for her she wouldn't worry about him doing anything to her, just worry about the uncomfortable situation.

Wondering if they're going to guilty trappe her to stay (You made us love you! We are learning to be open and to accept love and you want to leave us? Leave us in a world where we're fated to yearn for you for eternity and be alone again?), Percy would suffer whatever if she thinks she's saving people, such a naive and dumb girl, too good to this world.

This whole situation is pure chaos, they're planning so many things just to crash with each other. Would be funny to see them working together but also don't know how that situation would happen.

Anyway, thanks for the amazing chapter Queen! 👑

im sorry but this part cracked me up 😭

"for medical reasons we may need to fuck 😔"

"yeah sure ok"

😭😭😭

IM SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED THIS CHAPTER!!

i had a blast writing this chapter lmao, and im currently writing another chapter (not the next one) that's gonna be even better

maybe... idk. all i can say is that beel digs an even deeper grave in this one chapter and i just love watching him lose his shit

[trinity-eats-scabs]

HELLO AND WELCOME TO THIS BLOG!!

sup my names trinity. I'm a recovering maladaptive daydreamer and I do what I want. maybe I will post art one day idk

DNI: The usual suspects; racists, homophobes, transphobes n terfs, zionist scum, map/proship/lolicon aka pedos. But also Andreas Ronnberg idolizers/fangirls. seriously you guys are insufferable. Peace and love

click here to read more about me v

I made this blog for fun and for the sole purpose of consuming content related to my favorite interests. Not sure if I will post much, but I do plan on getting back into drawing so we shall see ^_^ As for now, I'm just here because I like being on the internet and consuming media

Things I love:

bugs, trinkets, and all things creepy and grimy

Over the Garden Wall

Naoki Ursawa's Monster (Grimmer my wife... sigh..)

DAN VS!!!

Eddsworld!!

LITTLEST PET SHOPS!!!!!!!!🔥🔥🔥😈😈

Johnny the Homosexual Manwhore Homicidal Maniac (JTHM)

Cry of Fear and Afraid of Monsters

Gravity Falls

Other stuff I'm fond of: Frankenstein, Sally Face, Undertale/Deltarune, Minecraft Story Mode, Dorohedoro, MLPFiM, FNAF, Serial Experiments Lain, Death Note, and Courage the Cowardly Dog ^_^

Feel free to message me, I like talkin to people

Thanks for reading! C=

[alifeincoffeespoons]

a random long-ish list of media and characters that have given me persistent brainworms

• the raven cycle (thank u dalia i love u) — adam parrish my beloved • sirius black and remus lupin. and by obvious extension wolfstar • conversations with friends by sally rooney • dabihawks. and also hawks just like. by himself. this is despite me yelling at the screen every time i even attempt to watch MHA anymore • stranger things despite me like. not actually watching the show. and just consuming fanfiction • me and my dog by boygenius • fleabag • the idiot by elif batuman • this specific essay by c pam zhang • everything weike wang has ever written but especially chemistry • everything i never told you by celeste ng • crying in h mart by michelle zauner • “wife” by ada limón • this essay by leslie jamison • this essay by rayne fisher-quann • semi-embarrassingly, the social network • check please! (nurseydex my beloved) • little women (2019) — amy march is So Real • the harley quinn series • all of chen chen’s poetry ever but especially this one. everyone should read when i grow up i want to be a list of endless possibilities and your emergency contact has experienced an emergency • good omens • all of preacher’s daughter by ethel cain anyway if u have any suggestions for media that u think i would like based on this.......very random list pls send them to me !!

[jxrm]

book log - 2020

the circle by stephen j. galgon

let them eat pancakes by craig carlson

trophy life by lea gellar

the little cafe in copenhagen by julie caplin

serial killers volume 1 by ryan becker

time out by emma murray

love in the capitol by b. ivy woods

the fear hunter by elise sax

please like me by mindy kaling

i'm fine and neither are you by camille pagan

a secondhand life by pamela crane

the move by whitney dineen

dog day wedding by rich amooi

friends list by rob watson

sticky fingers by j.t. lawrence

the lonely heath attack club by j.c. williams

when she returned by lucinda berry

no judgements by meg cabot

big sexy love by kristy greenwood

the friday night date dress by talena winters

zenith man by jenniger haigh

woman last seen in her thirties by camille pagan

everything my mother taught me by alice hoffman

kiss me not by emma hart

the end of temperance dare by wendy webb

all this i will give to you by dolores redondo

the broken girls by simone st. james

kiss me tonight by emma hart

her by britney king

the wedding date by zara stoneley

felix ever after by kaceen callender

kiss me again by emma hart

the perfect wife by blake pierce

as kismet would have it by sandhya menon

next year in havana by chanel cleeton

love in the time of contracts by jethro collins

hot mess by emma hart

the survivor's guide to family happiness by maddie dawson

open book by jessica simpson

beach read by emily henry

the prettiest one by james hankins

big summer by jennifer weiner

digging in by loretta nyhan

the other family by loretta nyhan

palm beach bedlam by tom turner

untouchable by sibel hodge

the virgin romance novelist by meghan quinn

hogwarts: an incomplete and unreliable guide by j.k. rowling

the rumour by lesley kara

jackie four by phil chard

such a fun age by kiley reid

the family next door by sally hepworth

kissing games of the world by sandi kahn shelton

every single secret by emily carpenter

the poet x by elizabeth acevedo

harry potter: a journey through charms and defense against the dark arts by pottermore publishing

the birthday mystery by joyce cato

the wedding war by liz talley

kulti by mariana zapata

black friday by michael hodges

the other daughter by alex dahl

meet cute by helena hunting

the female of the species by mindy mcginnis

the devil's storybooks by natalie babbitt

you owe me a murder by eileen cook

my favorite half-night stand by christine lauren

tidelands by philippa gregory

gracefully you by jenna dewan

the void by christine bernard

tweet cute by emma lord

dear girls by ali wong

the woman inside by e.g. scott

risking it all by nina darnton

lying next to me by gregg olsen

the lost by natasha preston

roomies by christina lauren

i am not your perfect mexican daughter by erika l. sanchez

twice in a blue moon by christina lauren

the right swipe by alisha rai

i found you by lisa jewell

the secrets of married women by carol mason

a piece of normal by maddie dawson

my lovely wife by samantha downing

the bookish life of nina hill by abbi waxman

when we believed in mermaids by barbara o'neal

the nurse by amy cross

i'll never tell by catherine mckenzie

the weight of lies by emily carpenter

the bromance book club by lyssa kay adams

the wives by tarryn fisher

the marriage lie by kimberley belle

best friends & other liars by heather balog

get a life, chloe brown by talia hibbert

the child next door by shalini boland

the queen and the cure by amy harrison

the overdue life of amy byler by kelly harms

short stories from hogwarts of heroism, hardship, and dangerous hobbies by j.k. rowling

a friend in need by hannah ellis

the starter wife by nina lauren

the girl before by j.p. delaney

men without women by haruki murakami

the unhoneymooners by christina lauren

the other mrs. miller by allison m. dickson

the sun down motel by simone st. james

short stories from hogwarts of power, politics, and pesky poltergeists by j.k. rowling

the woman in our house by andrew hart

[excusethequality]

My 2024 in Film: April

Another month of films.

The sad part is I wouldn't be so far behind on these if I hadn't watched so friggin' many movies in March.

* = rewatches

81.

Bitch

(2017)

— Comedy Drama Directed by: Marianna Palka

A negligent husband/father is forced to start paying attention to his family when his wife suffers a mental break and stars thinking she's a dog.

I think it's worth noting that the actor playing the woman who thinks she's a dog is the director herself. I just think it makes the whole thing better knowing that all the weird scenes with her are ones that she created.

You know, I feel like this one would need a second viewing for me to really get a handle on it. I assumed I knew where it would go from the premise, but it tackles things rather differently than I was expecting. While the woman is almost always the central figure of the story it's actually her husband who we're primarily following and who is growing as a person through the process.

Since I found the woman who is having this break to be the more interesting figure, focusing on her husband was a little offputting. Especially because he is a wildly absent father and husband so watching him suddenly have to grow isn't the journey I came here for.

But there's some scenes at the end that made me start thinking that perhaps I had been looking at the story from the wrong angle and that perhaps the story was doing something subtler than I was giving it credit for.

I am still undecided on this one. But I will say that I have thought about it after I watched it and that can't be said for most movies.

82.*

For Your Consideration

(2006)

—Mockumentary Directed by: Christopher Guest

The set of movie is turned upside down when rumors of Oscar attention hit the set.

File under movies that took me half the movie to remember I had seen it before.

Sometimes Hollywood people want to make movies based on their life experiences as Hollywood people. The only problem being that life in the Hollywood bubble is FAR from a universal experience. So the more you know about the world surrounding Hollywood movies the funnier this will be. Which is rather unlike Guest's other films which have a much broader appeal.

It has its moments, but overall it just felt way too specific and a little ham fisted compared to his other work.

83.

Romy and Michele's High School Reunion

(1997)

— Comedy Adventure Directed by: David Mirkin

Two best friends try to create the image of a successful life in order to impressive the people at their 10 year high school reunion.

I'll be honest, I've avoided watching this movie for years because I just assumed it would be something I wouldn't like. But I finally broke and figured I'd knock another classic off the list and give it a go.

Lo and behold I actually kind of love it?

Since no one makes movies about asexuals, the closest representation I can get is stories about extremely close friends. For instance here Romy and Michele are best friends who've lived together for years. I can't remember exactly, but I think their beds are even in the same room? Are they said to occasionally hook up with dudes? Sure. Do they also seem to be way more into each other than anyone else? Absolutely.

And that my friends, is close enough for me. It's a non-sexual long-lasting, deeply intimate relationship. I'll take what I can get.

It's a silly movie. I could understand if its style of humor wasn't for everyone, but I was having a great time.

84.

The Hating Game

(2021)

— Rom-Com Directed by: Peter Hutchings Based on: The Hating Game by Sally Thorne

After their respective publishing companies merge, two employees with very different styles start a bet to decide who gets to stay and who has to leave.

Okay, so this is just a very stock-standard enemies to lovers story. Usually that's a standard I enjoy, but here the whole thing is rather lukewarm because the two people are both corporate suits and fuck them.

Plus this is pulling on pigtails as foreplay style enemies to lovers. Not like a bitter rivals accidentally forge a bound of shared experience that only they can relate to, kinda enemies to lovers. So no thank you.

More importantly is the fact that early on we see the leading lady at home writing Smurfs fanfiction and then it's never brought up again?! I cannot stress enough how much this threw me. I was waiting the entire movie for that to somehow come back around.

My only guess is they threw that in because it sounded like a nerdy in a literary way kind of thing, without realizing that a person who would write Smurfs fanfiction is a very specific sort of person.

To further prove my point that the writers of this are strangely out of touch is the fact that at one point they refer to epipens as being nerdy...

...what the actual fuck are you talking about? The person has a deadly allergy! Plus the writer of Smurfs fanfiction does not get to mock the person with the epipen for being too nerdy!

Just very much an example of what you get when the popular crowd tries to write a "nerdy" character.

85.

Viktor und Viktoria

[English title: “Victor and Victoria”]

(1933)

— Rom-Com Directed by: Reinhold Schünzel

An aspiring singer impersonates a female impersonator to help a sick colleague, but when an agent discovers her she'll have to try and keep the ruse alive.

I loved Victor/Victoria so much I had to check out the original to see how it compared.

I definitely didn't like it as much as that one. Victor/Victoria used the premise to tackle ideas of queerness & gender and question if society's norms regarding them make any sense in the first place.

This one, however, is just here to have a good time. It's only goal is to give the audience 90minutes of silly good fun with some singing and dancing thrown in to make sure you get your money's worth of entertainment.

Renate Müller is definitely the star of the show as she was actually quite delightful and cute. But the rest of it was a little flat for me.

86.

Orlando, ma biographie politique

[English title: Orlando, My Political Biography]

(2023)

— [I honestly have no idea what genre this would be] Directed by: Paul B. Preciado

An amalgamation of trans stories with that of the story of Virginia Wolfe's Orlando. As the actors playing Orlando change so does the interpretations of the story.

This was the final selection for my house's Roommate Movie Nights and our theme of "Oh! So that's a thing."

It definitely fits the bill as it certainly is an original piece.

I think I was at a large disadvantage here as I have never read or seen any form of adaptation of Viriginia Wolfe's Orlando. So when they intermingle between the real trans stories and Orlando I'm at a bit of a loss as to where the line is.

So yeah. I don't think I'm the right person to go to for an opinion of this one. It's certainly a movie with a style all it's own. I enjoyed the uniqueness and the charm it had in tackling its subject. There was a Virginie Despentes cameo and I was so proud of myself for noticing right away.

[Tangentially I love Virginie Despentes' books. She writes deeply flawed characters in such a fascinating way. She's like the chain-smoking French aunt you never knew you needed in your life.]

87.

We Summoned a Demon

(2017)

— Horror Comedy Short Directed by: Chris McInroy

Two men try to perform a ritual to make themselves cool, but inadvertently summon a demon instead.

It has its moments, but overall not really in line with my sense of humor.

88.

Manhunter

(1986)

— Thriller Directed by: Michael Mann Based on: Red Dragon by. Thomas Harris

A retired criminal profiler is brought back in order to catch a dangerous serial killer.

I feel like I've had to have seen this before at some point, especially considering how big of a fan I am of Bryan Fueller's Hannibal show. I even went and read all of Thomas Harris' books during those years. But if I had seen this before I had forgotten nearly everything. So let's just say it was new to me.

This movie does so many interesting things in its adaptation of the novel and it's especially fun to compare it with the other adaptations.

William Peterson has an intriguing take on Will Graham. But the highlight for me was definitely Brian Cox's Hannibal. Which is just extra fun considering how Anthony Hopkins, Mads Mikkelsen, and Brian Cox have all played the character of Hannibal Lecter, they all have incredibly different versions, but I love them all.

Things like this are part of why I quite enjoy adaptations. Being able to compare how different stories tackle things is fascinating to me.

I really wanted to like this movie more, but there's just a number of parts that really took me out of the story. The music choices were especially bizarre to me. There would be these really tense scenes and then the soundtrack would kick in and just ruin the vibes for me.

I dunno. I'm a sucker for interesting adaptations though and there's just too many interesting choices here for me to discount it. I can't say I loved it, but I also can't say I didn't enjoy the uniqueness of the ride.

89.

Citizenfour

(2014)

— Documentary Directed by: Laura Poitras

The journalists Edward Snowden released his information to document the events of his leaks live as they happened.

Continuing my documentary kick this year, and finding my way here because Kirsten Joshnson, the current reigning champion of my best of this year list, was the cinematographer on this one.

I thought it was just a straight forward documentary about the events of the Snowden leaks, but it is so much more interesting than that!

Laura Poitras was the one Snowden leaked the information to! So she has this record of the whole process. You get to be in the room with her and Snowden and see how they plan the leaks and hear how they react as Snowden witnesses the pieces of his life falling apart as the government tries to track him down.

Just a truly fascinating documentary.

Plus I love reading about cyber security issues, so this is just a win-win all around for me.

90.

Monsters Crash the Pajama Party

(1965)

— Sci-Fi Comedy Short Directed by: David L. Hewitt

Some college girls have a sleep over in an abandoned house as part of a sorority hazing ritual. Unfortunately for them there's a mad scientist living in the basement and he needs more test subjects.

Did I watch this entirely because of the title?

...yes.

Am I proud of that fact?

No.

Not gonna lie: this was a rough watch. They really jumped in with a basic set up to a story and a gimmick, started shooting immediately, realized they didn't know where to go from there, then padded...that...shit...out...to...30...minutes.

The humor is so lazy it hurts. And the whole gimmick is that during one single scene the "monsters" in their bad Spirit Halloween-style costumes would leave the movie and run through the theater before returning to the movie. Even if I had witnessed the gimmick in action it wouldn't have mattered.

The thing's only 30 minutes and by the end it felt like it had gone on for ages.

91.

The Last Unicorn

(1982)

— Animated Fantasy Adventure Directed by: Jules Bass & Arthur Rankin Jr.

A unicorn goes on a quest to find the others of her kind.

This is one of those ones I've heard about forever, but never seen. But leave it to Rankin Bass to make something really unique, but deeply weird.

I honestly don't know what to say. It's a movie that both delivers some amazing emotional beats and will also routinely break their own flow with utterly weird scenes that don't really have a point. (looking at you scene where Alan Arkin is forced to motorboat a busty tree)

If the pacing flowed a bit more evenly I think I would have loved this one, but it was just too cluttered for me to fully invest it.

Also they were dirty for making Jeff Bridges sing that song. Y'all knew damn well he couldn't hit those notes and you made him do it anyway.

92.

Jumanji: The Next Level

(2019)

— Fantasy Comedy Adventure Directed by: Jake Kasdan

The crew from the previous movie wind up back inside the game, because of reasons! But this time some old guys are along for the ride too.

For those who have never seen Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017), let it be known that it is far better than it has any right to be. It actually has some really interesting character work and Jack Black is quite fun in it.

This follow-up to it, however, doesn't make any sense. I am convinced the script was made in a single draft. Because anytime it finds that it wrote itself into a corner it will god-machine its way out. None of the character work makes much sense, but you can see them trying to replicate some of the notes of the other movie and just failing completely.

You cannot convince me that this wasn't made just to cash in on the success of the first one.

On another note, I feel like we as a society need to accept that Dwanye "The Rock" Johnson cannot act.

I think due to the sheer number of movies he's starred in that we've convinced ourselves that he can, because why else would he have so many movies?

I think even he has been fooled. "I've been in SO MANY movies," he thinks to himself. "I must be an incredible actor. I must surely be capable of doing this movie that requires me to portray both a depressed young man in the midst of a breakdown AND Danny DeVito portraying a man who is angry at his aging body and at his life filled with regrets."

Yet here we are.

Two hours and $125 million later.

Thinking to ourselves, "You know what…he is not good at this. Was he ever good at this?"

And the fact of the matter is: No. Not really.

93.

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny

(2023)

— Action Adventure Directed by: James Mangold

Henry "Indiana" Jones Jr. has retired from adventuring, but is thrown back into the thick of it when a mystery from his past causes factions begin to converge around him.

I could have watched this at the theater I worked at for free, but after Kingdom of the Crystal Skull I really wasn't prepared to sit through 3 hours of this without the ability to take a break.

But the completionist in me finally won out so I picked it up from the library.

All they had to do to make this plot work was do a twist on The Last Crusade, where this time Phoebe Waller-Bridge was the adventurer and Harrison Ford was the old father figure whose passions have come back to haunt him, and it would have been a really fun ride. Instead we're stuck following this old Dr. busted "get off my lawn" Jones around and she's just kind of there.

There's just so much going on here and none of it means anything.

In other news, Karen Allen is aging gracefully af. Holy smokes.

In fact, I take back my earlier plot outline. I want Phoebe Waller-Bridge and Karen Allen as my dream duo for things that could have been made instead of this. In fact I just want them to work together on anything, it doesn't even have to be this.

94.

Anatomy of a Murder

(1959)

— Courtroom Drama Directed by: Otto Preminger

A former D.A. and current small town lawyer agrees to take a case defending a man who has been accused of murder after he killed a man he claims raped his wife.

Fucking Jimmy Stewart.

I often will watch something purely based on someone's recommendation or having read something about it that intrigued me, so I frequently don't know the cast of an older movie before I see it. And this bastard is always sneaking his way into my watchlist, in spite of the fact that he drives me up the wall.

Y'all, I don't even know.

It's shot really well, there's some interesting scenes and some great performances (not you, Stewart), and I know it has a pretty great reputation. But Jimmy Stewart playing a wealthy lawyer who doesn't pay his employees and takes a case to defend an abusive murderer for fun and sport? I just have a real hard time getting into that.

95.

Lake Placid 2

(2007)

— Made-for-TV Horror Directed by: David Flores

The events of the first movie have become mere rumors, but it turns out those giant crocs aren't content to let themselves become merely the stuff of legends.

I have a soft spot for the original Lake Placid. Don't get me wrong, it's a ridiculous movie, but it's the fun kind of dumb. Plus Betty White is in it and she is just a treat.

I assumed going into this that it wouldn't live up to the original, but at least it might bring some cheesy good fun. I was not prepared for just how low the budget of this movie was.

I actually had to pull out my phone and make sure this was actually a legitimate sequel early into the movie, because it is just so much cheaper than the original. It appears that the Sci-Fi channel somehow ended up with the rights to the property and decided to make some low budget made-for-tv movies with it.

Although 30 year olds playing teenagers never fails to make me laugh, it is not a good movie. The best thing about it is that they got Cloris Leachman to do their version of the Berrty White role (an amazing choice), but the writing is so bad that her talent is really wasted here.

For sure filing under bad films to laugh at with friends, but not to watch alone.

96.

The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert

(1994)

— Queer Road Trip Adventure Directed by: Stephan Elliott

3 drag performers go on a road trip across Australia in order to get to a big gig.

My go-to drag road trip movie has always been To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar, but I figured I had gone long enough without having seen this.

I really like Hugo Weaving and Terence Stamp. Guy Pearce remains on my list of actors I just can't get into though.

I still need to get around to doing some research on this one. I'm curious what queer people think of it today and also what their consensus (if any) was back in the 90s.

Although I truly have no idea what the hell they were thinking with the Cynthia character, because that bit thoroughly confused me. It's hard to see that and not wonder, "how exactly did they think this wouldn't be considered racist?"

It's hard not to compare and contrast this with To Wong Foo, even though they are tonally very different. To Wong Foo is much lighter and more of a story about the importance of being yourself, surrounding yourself with people that support you, and not letting adversity tear you down.

Priscilla has a much darker and more realistic undercurrent and seems to be more of a story of knowing who you are, but struggling to figure out exactly how you're supposed to fit into a world that wasn't built with you in mind.

Like always, it would be great if a movie with a trans character had actually gotten a trans actor for the role. But at least Priscilla was written and directed by a gay man, so for a mid-90s movie it's still far queerer than most.

97.

Minding the Gap

(2018)

— Documentary Directed by: Bing Liu

Filmmaker Bing Liu dives into skateboard culture, coming of age, and a search for identity in this documentary. He combines the skating footage from his younger years with modern interviews with his old skating group to try and learn the role skating had in their lives and what it means now that they've gotten further into adulthood.

This movie is so good!

I went into this thinking this was a different skating boarding documentary, so I was a little confused at the start, but what a happy accident!

Part of what makes it so compelling is how Bing Liu straddles the line between documentarian and participant. The story he's able to capture is one only possible from him and because of his relationship with the group

Definitely one of my favorite things I've seen this year.

98.*

Minding the Gap

(2018)

see #97

Did I watch this and then immediately watch it again with the commentary?

Yes.

Yes I did.

99.

Vox Lux

(2018)

— Drama Directed by: Brady Corbet

A former survivor of a school shooting and current pop star struggles in a life where her public image has dominated how she is seen by both the world and herself.

I kind of hate this movie. I'm not sure it deserves to be hated though. A LOT of my hatred comes from the fact that Natalie Portman is the star and she is doing a BIZARRE accent the entire movie. Which is made all the weirder because at the start of the movie you see her character as a kid and she very much does not have the accent.

So here's this character that somehow grew up to have what I can only describe as the New York equivalent of the Dick Van Dyke-style British accent that Americans do. At not point does it ever approach accuracy, but you can kind of see where they were trying to go with it?

If you see me talk about enough movies you'll start to notice that I have a very hard time overlooking certain details in movies. It's why I traditionally don't like Hitchcock movies, because he is the master of throwing in random details of the type that I can't not fixate on.

And having the main character doing an absurd accent for the whole movie is so utterly distracting to me. Was the movie aside from that fact any good? I don't even know. Anytime I thought I was starting to understand the themes of the movie is would seemingly abandon that thread and start doing something else.

I just don't know. Whatever this movie is, it's definitely not for me.

100.

Paddington 2

(2017)

— Family Comedy Adventure Directed by: Paul King

A simple attempt to find a birthday gift for his mother goes horribly astray when it leads to a chain of events that get Paddington thrown in prison.

The Paddington movies have the sort of heart that you just so rarely see from family movies these days. Lots of others in the genre feel like some sort of innocuous thing that was grown in a lab and designed by committee to as unoffensive as possible.

But the Paddington movies have a charm and a soul all their own. And the direction of both films is leagues beyond what you'd typically expect from the cgi-character has an adventure family genre.

I'll admit that I like the first movie better as I found the whole thing to be overall tighter. But this is still a lot of fun. I wouldn't say this one is up there with the family movies that everyone needs to see, but it's still a charming little film that's awfully hard not to enjoy.

101.

Bad Black

(2016)

— Action Comedy Directed by: Nabwana I.G.G.

An American doctor in Uganda must get martial arts training from a child in pink crocs known as Swaz if he ever hopes to get an heirloom back from the notorious gangster Bad Black.

This is a kind of movie that you just need to see to understand.

Imagine a movie made by a group of money without a lot of money or equipment or training, but a hell of a lot of passion and fun. They're out here with the kind of originality that you only get from those who were never taught what the rules were, because—for better or for worse—they're breaking all of them.

It's definitely not going to be for everyone. But if you love action comedies and weirdly memorable b-movies, then it's certainly something you might want to try out.

102.

Good Time

(2017)

— Crime Drama Directed by: Benny Safdie & Josh Safdie

A criminal's desperate attempts to get his brother out of jail lead him to going to increasingly dangerous lengths as his desperation increases.

Jeez, there's a lot going on in this one. I enjoyed it, but I think I'd need to really sit down and dedicate some real time and thought to breaking it down properly.

The fact that it mostly takes place over a single night gives it this really interesting sort of tension. Robert Pattinson is fantastic. And this character we're following is really intriguing.

He's a really well written antihero. He is far from a good person and over the course of the movie he does a number of terrible deeds. He's greedy and uses people and is selfish. But like any good character you can't help but to find his struggle compelling because he really is willing to risk it all to help his brother.

It's certainly something I'll have to give another watch down the line.

103.

The Happytime Murders

(2018)

— Comedy Whodunnit Directed by: Brian Henson

In a world where humans and puppets live together, a puppet P.I. and a Human homicide detective must team up to solve a string of brutal puppet murders.

This was kind of exactly like what I thought it would be like, but I'll admit that it has its moments.

I feel like there's two ways to play puppets in the real world: A) a Muppets style (they're just there and no one calls attention to it, or B) a sci-fi style (where you take it seriously and try to explain how exactly that works).

This one tries to explain how this all works and create a believable human/puppet world, but they aren't great explanations and there's no consistency. Like in one scene a puppet will be able to beat up a human, but in another they'll be unable to do anything because they're just full of cotton.

If you're going muppets style I can easily suspend my disbelief, but if you specifically tell me this world has rules and then are constantly breaking those rules then that fucks really takes me out of things.

I don't really have much to say about this. There are certainly some fun parts, but it's a very one-note kind of movie. And the one note is just: "isn't it funny when puppets do or say crude things!"

104.

龙马精神

[English title: “Ride On”]

(2023)

— Action Comedy Drama Directed by: Larry Yang

An aging stuntman is given another chance at stardom when his beloved horse is shown to also have a knack for stuntwork.

When I saw the trailer I was just thinking: "Jackie Chan and a horse? That's a recipe for silly good fun."

I was not expecting a really thoughtful and poignant story to be hiding in there!

I know it sounds weird to say, but I've actually thought about this one a lot since I watched it. Hiding in the silliness is this thoughtful look on a life and career in stunt work. But it also works as just an older person looking back and wondering if some of the decisions they made in the past were worth it. Then looking to the new generations and seriously considering whether or not the old ways are actually better or if the new trends have merit.

Not to mention that Jackie is out here doing some really fantastic acting.

It's definitely not a perfect film though. It's probably the only time I've watched a Jackie Chan movie and wished there weren't as many fights. This time I'm here for the drama! The character work, the relationships between Jackie's character trying to make up for lost time and create a better relationship with his daughter, there's so much here. Most of the fights just seem shoehorned in because you've gotta have fights in a Jackie Chan movie, right?

I dunno. In spite of its flaws it has given me more food for thought than a lot of "better" movies I've seen this year and I quite like it. I wouldn't recommend it if you want pure Martial Arts action, but if you're in the mood for something silly, something sweet, something quirky, and something lighter but with some hidden depths? It's got you covered.

105.

무림여대생

[English title: “My Mighty Princess”]

(2008)

— Wuxia Rom-Com Directed by: Jae-young Kwak

A high school girl tries to navigate the troubles of high school and of her father's attempts to get her to dedicate herself to her training in martial arts.

I only just realized that a lot of people might not know what Wuxia is. So for context Wuxia is a genre of Chinese fiction that deals in historical martial arts fantasy. The closest approximation in Western literature I can think of would probably be something like the tales of Arthur and the knights of the round table? Where there are monsters and magic, but they're the magic and monsters of olden days, not full-blown high fantasy. And we follow heroes who have a strict code and fight for what's right.

Umm...what are some examples people might be familiar with in America...

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon is based on a classic Wuxia novel. And Kung-Fu Panda was inspired by the genre (although they definitely cross pollinated it with some Western storytelling styles).

Anyways, it's a genre style that definitely had an impact across Asian fiction.

My Mighty Princess kind of aims to combine a high school rom-com with a more classic wuxia story and it's a tricky one for me diagnose.

I think there's a lot to love in this. The humor is quite fun and the setup is solid. It's just that there's a pretty heavy tonal jump in the middle. It starts out full rom-com then switches gear in the middle to start the wuxia angle and it's way too big of a shift for me. I definitely would have preferred if the genres were a bit more evenly melded from the start.

Then there's this whole weird b-storyline with this high school student who keeps trying to win the heart of this cop lady and that doesn't really go anywhere.

I'm probably a little overly harsh on it, because I quite like parts of it, but I didn't love it overall. And it's always annoying when that happens, because you kind of want to rewatch it, but then again you kind of don't.

106.

The American Buffalo

(2023)

— Documentary Directed by: Ken Burns

A look at the colonizers history with the American buffalo and how it relates to their history with the indigenous peoples.

Technically I think this might be a miniseries not a movie, but it's short enough to watch during a single sitting so I'm gonna count it.

It's pretty standard for a PBS-style documentary. The subject matter is interesting, but I think it perhaps would have been better handled by a native director instead of the whitest man alive. And I also was pulled out of it whenever they got famous people to read the bits of diaries and whatnot.

You'd just be listening and then suddenly be wondering, "wait, why is Paul Giamatti talking right now?"

107.

The Taming of the Shrew

(1967)

—Shakespeare adaptation Directed by: Franco Zeffirelli Based on: The Taming of the Shrew by William Shakespeare

A group of men seek to coerce a strong willed woman into a bad marriage in their attempts to wed her younger and more demur sister.

I'm not gonna lie, I've seen a number of loose Taming of the Shrew adaptations, but I've never actually seen a more-or-less direct adaptation or the play itself.

It turns out that the actual story is super fucked up? The whole "taming" idea was always a little iffy depending on how it was deployed, but in the story they are just straight up abusing the shit out of her? Full on mentally and physically abusing her into submission?

I don't really have any insight for this. When I wasn't a little bit bored I was just sitting there being deeply uncomfortable.

——————

——————

April Stats

——————

Movies watched this month: 27

Rewatch percentage: 7.4% (2/27)

Favorite new movie of the month: Minding the Gap

Least favorite: The Taming of the Shrew

——————

——————

Previous Months’ Posts:

JAN | FEB | MAR.p1 | MAR.p2

[moonysfavoritetoast]

Introduction !!

im so sorry to the people who aren’t used to my antics

sorry if this is rude, but please stop sending the gofundme asks. they’re overwhelming me.

last updated 12/21/24**

*month/day/year

*updated names

about me

hi i’m evan or james/cosmo/larry/leo :) i love love LOVE nicknames! as long as they aren’t sexual or directly calling me a girl, i don’t mind! *

i’m a MINOR in eighth grade, don’t be a creep. im a MINOR.

i use he/they/it/star pronouns

i’m transmasc, non-binary, bisexual & aceflux (i also use demi-boy as a label!)

* i especially love the nickname ‘ev’, as my sister had it first and my family will not call me that. i don’t want to be sexualized, it makes me uncomfortable. i am a boy, and i don’t want to be called a girl. eg; ‘good girl’ ‘my girl’ ‘girlfriend’. as for sexual stuff, i mean LITERALLY any nickname said with sexual undertones. i don’t mind being called a good boy, but the moment it’s said with anything sexual you might be blocked. for that reason, please use tone tags, as i am pretty bad at figuring out what some things mean at times.

i don’t usually answer chain asks because they scare me but do know they don’t go unnoticed i appreciate them

rambling

FREE PALESTINE

PFP WAS DRAWN BY MY LOVELY WIFE @meerealsssss

currently matching pfps with @meerealsssss

dreamscape nexus google doc (working on updating!)

first post limit 3/12/24

expect vent posts from time to time

i’m always going batshit crazy over ghost and fallout (honorable mentions are house md, gravity falls, and sally face !)

i complain a lot, sorry

will x isaac

deer :3 and and german shepherds :3

jizz pants (will anf dom know what this means)

watch just add magic, do it please /nf

i love love love minecraft diaries (aphmau) gagagag lawrence and aaron are my fave characters (please talk to me about aphmau i swear i’m not cringe)

nico <3

starr <3

alex <3

ace <3

mee <3

my wife is @meerealsssss

my wife is @homoashell

my wife is @catinasink

my wife is dominic

my wife is also undyne

my wife is also mrs claus

my wife is trashcan carla

my husband is @aceiined / @muthafuckinaro

my husband is @homoashell

my husband is @catinasink

my husband is @the-rizzly-bear

my husband is the man in the yellow hat

my husband is terzo. i will not be taking criticism at this time.

my husband is also rick sanchez

my husband is also jazon broadly

my husband is also izerah (fuck you what is his last name, mee?)

pac-man is also my husband

my husband is alastor (hazbin hotel)

lucifer is my husband (hazbin hotel)

my husband is rj maccready:3

my husband is john hancock (the gay one)

my husband is the ghoul (on my knees for that cowboy ass mf)

my husband is ford pines

lord farquaad is my husband

my husband is jeremy fragrance

my husband is prae jack ;3

MY HUSBAND IS DR HOSUE

my partner is @alex-the-bard <3 <3 <3

my partner is @homoashell <3

my partner is @catinasink <3

likes/dislikes

like: music, tv, friends, my cat, cool socks, writing, rick sanchez, genloss, tadc, musicals/theatre, undertale/deltarune, ducks, omori

dislike: loud noises, silence, school

i’m currently obsessed with: ghost, dreamscape nexus, rick and morty, gravity falls, etc

i post about:

• marauders

• (mostly) random thoughts

• dreamscape nexus

• other random things

• rick and morty

• gravity falls

• percy jackson

• undertale/deltarune

• hazbin hotel

• helluva boss

• fallout

• omori

• sally face

• ghost

• mad max

• house md

family/pets

i have a younger sibling, evie (any pronouns)

i have a cat named daniel tiger

i have two dogs, gunner and roxie

timezone

EST

if you’re interacting with me past midnight, i’ll probably be a bit sillier than normal

DNI

maps/pedophiles, z00philes, bigots, ED and porn blogs

if you have ‘mdni’ in ur bio

simon cowell

donald trump

neo-nazis

if you don’t like furries and therians please get the fuck away from my blog

and if you shit on other’s religions, get away

what can you call me?

no: feminine related terms (unless you’re using them in a gender neutral way or as a joke) like girl, sister, wife, etc (bbg is always ok)

yes: boy, guy, partner, husband, dude, man (basically anything masculine/gender neutral)

sideblogs

@ricksanchezsboyfriend is my rick and morty sideblog

@mountainsmissingshoes is my ghost sideblog

@alastorsbigdick is my hazbin hotel rp sideblog (matching ace)

@giddingstexasenthusiast is my southern mom rp blog

@cryingunderstars is my writing sideblog

i am also @hadesfavoritechild

i run @rosie-rosier as well (marauders rp blog)

@scandalous-triangle and @myst3rytw1n are my gravity falls rp blogs (dm to join?)

extra info

birthday is august 7 :3

tone tags appreciated

i’m some flavor of neurodivergent (except i’m not diagnosed (parents r more worried about my sister) soz)

i play trumpet + i want to learn electric guitar or drums

i’m a gryffindor

child of hades

my favorite band is ghost

i speak english and i am currently learning french (might learn swedish)

satanist? i think? researching hellenism

feminist

alterhuman

fictionkin

theatre kid (crew) currently doing little shop of horrors

my fav number is 173

i write

i live in my own head. sorry.

i live in michigan and i guess this is shameful (shrimp bullies me for it)

i kin dipper pines

i have another sideblog. if you find it, idk i’ll give you chocolate or something (it’s embarrassing)

fuck wilbur soot. if i post about lovejoy, please know that i do not support him.

ask me about ghost (band) i have an oc and want to talk about them

send anon asks

tags!

• screenshots of dm’s/discord/texts: #evan leaks their texts

• lyrics: #evan screams lyrics at you

• my asks: #evan gets an ask *gasp*

• anything related to my book w/ @meerealsssss: #brokenly beloved

• anything related to moonlex (@alexthescaredenby and i’s ship name): #moonlex tag

• dreamscape nexus: #dreamscape nexus / #dn

• bracelets i make: #evan’s bracelets

• ace’s shit quotes: #ace needs to shit

• me talking about the man in the yellow hat: #tevan tag

• pictures of me: #literally evan

• me screaming about something: #on todays episode of evan is slowly going insane

• certain anon who signs off with a ☀️: #☀️ anon

• shit about omori: #evan plays omori

• shit about sally face: #evan plays sally face

• reblogging mutual’s art: #REBLOG (mutuals art)

• stuff that i post at theatre: #theatre shenanigans

• anything about house md: #evan gay dr house

• posting stuff (usually dn) for alex: #posting for alex !

• everything else: #evan's rambles

people i talk about

my teachers :3

• mr sharpie/mr shark is my band teacher (he/him)

• ms eddinger is my french teacher

• mr crowner is my science teacher

• mrs bryant is my math teacher

• mr stowe is my social studies teacher

• mrs adams is my ela teacher

• mrs seals is the old ass transphobic building substitute

• mr jacobs is our theatre director

• ms carmen is from theatre

——— previous teachers

• mama is a teacher from sixth grade (she/her)

• mrs kopykat - seventh, ela (she/her)

• ms k - seventh, ela student teacher (she/her)

• mr bones/skeleton - seventh, science (he/him)

• mr margarita/montague - seventh, social studies (he/him)

• mrs doty/dodds - seventh, math (she/her)

my irl friends :3

• crotch demon is my sister (any pronouns)

• my sweet little expired english muffin is @meerealsssss (she/her)

• ace @aceiined / @muthafuckinaro (they/them, mal/they)

• wife part two is my wife, they asked me to not name her here (she/they)

• al/allie is from school :3 (she/her)

• smurf is from school (blue hair, hence the nickname) (he/him)

• tomato is from school (silly :3) (he/him)

• boom boy/isaac is from school (he made me a netherite pickaxe after someone else burned mine // the pick had unbreaking // boom boy likes tnt) (he/him)

• boomerang/matt is from school (he/him)

• (irl) alex is from school :3 (he/they)

• khris is from school

• colten is from school (father) (he/him)

• will @skibitygamer is from school (he/him)

• dom is from school (he/him)

• luca was from theatre (mf graduated)

• maryn is from theatre

• gavin is from theatre

• chris is from theatre

• andrew is from theatre

parents are now getting their own nicknames

• hades is my dad (he/him)

• will come up with one for my mom (she/her)

where else can you find me?

pinterest (moonysfavoritetoast)

pinterest (cryingunderstars)

youtube

wattpad (please don’t take this seriously)

tiktok (moonysfavoritetoast)

tiktok (cryingunderstars)

facebook mom account

my nintendo switch friend code is SW-4260-6971-6714

roblox is /@moonysfavorite_toast

and discord (@moonysfavoritetoast)

[writerbythewater-blog]

Breakfast

The rattle of bones woke him up. A sudden noise in a terrifying quiet house. No longer a home without the soothing drum of the tide. Sally slept restlessly beside me as I carefully climbed out of our bed.

She slept so little now I fully considered going to the beach to record the sound she needed to rest easily. For now I could only hope the Ocean Mist spray I put on her pillow before she laid down would help. Softly I closed the door and made my way towards the sound I knew meant Nico was here.

Maybe he had news, or perhaps he just needed somewhere safe to sleep before continuing his search. Whatever the reason I needed to check. If only to make sure he wasn't hurt. Wouldn't be the first time his noise, an ambience annabeth had called it, had woken me up only to find him bleeding on our sofa.

"Nico," I called out softly while leaning on the doorframe of Percys room. He glanced over at me at his side a black hound.

"Hey Paul. Do you ever sleep?" He waved at the hound and it started sniffing around the room.

"Yes I do. Where'd you get the dog?"

"Summoned it. Thought I could use it to track Percy. Might be dead, but it could work." He shrugged. I nodded not even bothering to try to wrap my mind around the dead comment. It would just lead to a headache that painkillers couldn't touch.

"How long has it been since you ate?" The kids diet worried me as much as it did Percy and Sally. He was just so small, and I knew using those powers had to burn through calories. His shoulders curled inward he no longer met my eyes. I pushed off the doorframe.

"Alright I'll start on breakfast then. How does chicken and waffles sound?" The kid needed some meat and Sally loved to make sandwiches out of the meal and dunk it in syrup. I could add some eggs and hash browns too.

Nico perked up his eyes just a touch brighter. The edge of a smile he didn't want to show playing on his lips. This wounded child would not show how much he wanted anything, but the clatter of bones sped up just a little bit to make up for lack of outward response.

"If it's not to much trouble."

"Of course not," and then just to prove I wasn't going out of my way. "It's Sally's favorite breakfast, and she'd love to have a guest." Which was of course true, because she missed a different boy with black hair.

Because she desperately wanted someone to mother in his absence. Because the thought of leaving the children that he loved so dearly without any care broke her heart. Because if she had the space in her home each and every one of them would have a room. Because they all deserved parents that loved them unconditionally and she would be damned if she didn't show them. Because each of them that roamed into this home would leave with a meal, a hug, and a promise of safety when they returned. His wife had sworn this and, he swore he would help her make sure it was true. He agreed with every word she said these children deserved so much better, and if all he could do was learn to cook for them as they showed up then he would.

He would learn the ambience each of them gave off. He would learn which meal each would be most likely to stay for, and how to cook it just the way they liked it. He would learn how to stock the medical kit even if some of the wounds they showed up with were unfathomable to him. Poison! He made a vow to love his wife to cherish her and her son. He just didn't know he'd be gaining dozens more children though he had no problem with that. He was a teacher because he wanted to help children finding out he had a few dozen kids didn't change his mind at all.

So he plated grilled chicken, because Nico didn't care for it deep fried, and fluffy waffles. Tossed some raw meat in a bowl for the dog. Did dead dogs even need to eat? Then went to wake his wife and gather their guests. Breakfast was ready.

[ladybug100]

My dearest darling

The world stopped on its axis when he saw you, time all but froze he can't count how many times he wished time would never move and he is so grateful it did now. Your perfect and the smile you gave him made him blush, your eyes held his heart at first glance. It was love at first sight.

Steve had gone back to be with Peggy, it was the life he had always wanted and dreamed of. He didn't know that he was living it with the wrong person. it was 1952 when he came; that was the closest he could get. Soon after he moved into Peggy's home he saw you walking your dog penny the smile and little wave you gave him nearly made the man die. As you kept walking on with your little fluffy dog his heart was racing. ‘You have Peggy and she's a young girl.’

‘No! You don’t even know her anyway Steve.’ He scolded himself, he shoved the instant attraction down to the deepest parts of him. As the winter turned to spring he saw a lot more of you, in your little sundresses -that made his private area hard in a flat second,walking your dog, riding your bike, or with your father and mother in your front yard tending to the garden.

The life he dreamed of with Peggy was slowly fading away.

he wanted children she did not, he wanted to stay home with peace and quiet she wanted to save the world, she was not the wife he wanted all the things he thought he enjoyed about her were no longer there.

When steve was younger before he went into the ice he would have loved these things about Peggy, but now…not so much. he was tired of saving the world putting everything, the whole world, and the galaxy ahead of his wants and needs.

Your mother had told you that college was not for young girls and your father agreed. They wanted you to finish high school and marry Ben your high school boyfriend the feelings toward Ben you once had were gone.

He was the track star at your school it seemed every girl was smitten with him at first you were too -at first. As time went on he grew distant and only wanted to make out in his car or touch your breast. And when he brought up having sex you heavily declined his effert two days later he was seen with sally Mayer the cheerleader captain.

It didn't hurt for a while and your parents begged you to get back together with him. but once you spilled the beans on what he wanted to do your mother nearly passed out, and your father was about to go cut his head off.

But now here you stood in front of Steve Rogers and Peggy Carter's house, the Captian America and his agent/spy girlfriend. You looked up to Mrs. Peggy and she was always sweet to you until steve came then she grew cold. no longer coming over for dinner once a week and not be as talkative now, when she saw you she glared and turned her head the other way yet she was still sweet to your parents.

You rang the doorbell, with a warm smile on your face as you held some of your famous oatmeal cookies. every family on the block was begging you to make the fantastic treat. Baking and homely duties didn't bother you. You loved babies and hoped one day you would find love with a man and he would treat you right.

Steve answered the door and was happy yet shocked by the beauty in front of him, his eyes dragged over you while he licked his lips.

“Hello, Mr. Rogers! I baked you and miss carter some oatmeal cookies.”

“Hello y/n” said steve

“And also my mother and father were hoping that your not busy this Friday, we’d love to have you over for dinner?” you asked with a shy smile not brave enough to look such a handsome man in the eyes.

“Is that so? Well, I'm flattered y/n, we would love to come. What time?” he responded.

steve liked the how shy and mannered you were -a true lady was what you were, unlike Peggy.

“6 o’clock sir.” You answered

gosh the things you did to him made him want to pull you inside love up on you until you cried his name in pleasure. Steve took the cookies and the two of you said your goodbyes.

Later that evening when Peggy came home to see the oatmeal cookies half eaten on the counter her face turned red.

“Steve?! Will you come here now please!” she shouted out to him. Steve came walking through the hallway

"hey your home, how was work?" He asked a small smile gracing his lips

“Where did you get these? Steve did y/n come over? I don’t want her near this home and I mean it?!" Peggy demands like a mad woman.

"Well sweet little y/n next door made them for us! And she and her parents invited us to dinner, its Friday and I said yes. And what’s wrong with her? Huh she’s eighteen!" He said with a chipper tone that pissed off Peggy even more.

"Steve hun, we are not going to dinner on Friday! I dont like that girl" she stated

"Well why not! Shes sweet one of the the most goodest girls I've ever met! What did she do to you" steve questioned

"i-i just dont like her! Shes a whore! Shes going to end up pregnant by the end of the year! That little slut is out for you!" She yelled

"she is not a slut! Or a whore her parents and i talk and they told that shes a virgin! And that she broke up with that boy! We are going and that's final! Your just jealous peggy cause you dont have a line of men wanting to be with you! Your busy and to caught up in work!" Steve yelled back at her.

part of it was true she was not the ideal woman in that time but she could feel steve wandering eyes at the young. She really did know the truth, that she was innocent and young. that y/n had done nothing wrong peggy wanted Steve's eyes on her and no one else’s. she was trying to protect little y/n from steve.

"Peggy look, we are not what we used to be! You want to fight and chase evil, save the world -but I've been doing that for 107 years! I want to get married, you dont, I want to have kids, you dont, i want to live a normal life! You dont. We just dont want the same things, peggy it's time we quit." The blonde super soldier explained

"y-you but you came back for me!" Peggy sobbed.

"I know I did, but we cant keep pretending this is what we want. You want the old steve back, the steve that is sitting in ice right now…and I want a family not a war" peggy cried shortly but soon she packed her bags and left for California, there was alway work there. She left the house to Steve not wanting to ever have to come back to the house that holds her broken heart, Peggy prayed that y/n would somehow find away out from him.

When Friday came steve was going to ask a big question.

"Hello mr rogers!" His girl answered the door

"dear call me steve please " he said to her.

"O-okay steve" she said his name with a bashful blush on her face.

At dinner steve popped the question, that he wanted to start the courting process with y/n, her parents said yes after he shortly explained what happened to him and peggy.

Y/n and steve were walking hand in hand while walking penny for her nightly stroll, but in the middle of the sidewalk he pulled her close and softly brought his lips to hers. The kiss was sweet and filled with joy and up coming love. Steve had his left arm wrapped around her waist while his right hand was holding the back of her head. She squealed into his lips smiling

"wow I've never been kissed like that before" she said to him with a bright smile on her face

"I'll kiss you like that for the rest of our life" he said

End of part 1

I made this first chapter in a rush if there is many errors or words misspelled please let me now, later I will go back and touch this up

[feathered-serpents]

I had a dream last night that was very halloween-y and also absurd but it sort of slapped and I'm gonna share it here

In the dream, Beetlejuice from y'know... Beetlejuice figured out somehow that he was a character from a somewhat-spooky somewhat silly movie named after him. Beetlejuice was actually STOKED to be the star of his own movie and have such a cultish group of fans basically worship him. He was rolling in the love up until he realized that there were OTHER spooky movies that he was NOT the star of, and he decided he just couldn't have that. He needed to be the star of EVERY horror or horror adjacent movie literally ever made, and proceeded to jump from reality to reality to achieve this

He would make himself the star of a new movie by jumping into it, and essentially absorbing the protagonist/iconic villain sort of Kirby-style and creating a clone of himself that looked like the previous character except Beetlejuice flavored. Crazy hair, make up, striped suit, etc. The ones I really remember were Freddy Krueger, in which he somehow managed to become MORE horny, and uh... Scooby Doo. The dog. He straight-up ate Scooby Doo and replaced him with himself but as a dog. My brain decided Beetlejuice is a furry and we all have to just deal with that

But, the main event was when Beetlejuice decided it was time to take over The Nightmare Before Christmas. He was going to go in there, kill Jack Skellington, and take over as the Beetle King.

Yes, that is what he called himself

What was extra fun about this was all of the other movies he invaded seemed to be just the movie, as in, he would jump in and replace the protagonist during the movie's timeline. Not before or after. Except in the case of Nightmare Before Christmas. There, he for some reason jumped in AFTER the canon of the movie when everything was supposed to be sorted out and Halloween Town is just vibing, Beetlejuice shows up to fight Jack to the death

His fight against Jack was actually higher stakes, he'd spent so much of his demonic power creating clones of himself to replace the protagonists of other movies that he didn't have any left to create another. He wasn't going to be leaving the Nightmare Before Christmas, he was going to kill Jack and stay here forever rather than just hop to another movie.

It was once again Halloween, and Jack and Sally were giving some Halloween speech with Beetlejuice watching cloaked and ominous from the crowd. Even though everyone just assumed he was a citizen cause of everything about him. I think it was just for the aesthetic honestly

I’ll save you some of the in between mostly because this is unfortunately where things get blurry BUT. Eventually, Beetlejuice managed to get Jack alone, and DID start to fight him. Jack, apparently weakened by using so much of his power to be scary on Halloween, was losing. Beetlejuice was absorbing him, and as he did so it turned out that part of literally being Jack was… loving Sally. As Beetlejuice turned into Jack, he started to fall in love with Sally

And apparently Jack can take someone trying to steal his kingdom, he can take being beaten up and his identity being literally stolen, but the MINUTE you try to fuck his wife THAT makes him go full super saiyan.

This leads to essentially a mash up of “You’re Joking” and “Say My Name” aka the one song I know ANY lyrics of from the Beetlejuice musical while Jack and Beetlejuice fight for Halloween and the Pumpkin Crown and also Who Gets To Stay Married To Sally

And then… that is when I woke up. I don’t know who won the showdown, but, because it was my subconscious I’m going to say Jack won because I love Sally way, WAY, too much to marry her to Beetlejuice but hey! End my dream yourself if you want! I just thought it was seasonal and fun

[deep-dive]

2021 year-end

albums/eps: Arca - Kick ii–iiiii Biosphere - Angel's Flight Car Culture - Dead Rock CFCF - memoryland Chief Keef - 4NEM Croatian Amor & Scandinavian Star - Spring Snow d'Eon - Rhododendron Danny L Harle - Harlecore Dean Blunt - Black Metal 2 dj lostboi - UNTITLED DJ Sprinkles - Gayest Tits & Greyest Shits: 1998-2017 12-Inches & One-Offs Doss - 4 New Hit Songs Eiko Ishibashi - Drive My Car OST Erika de Casier - Sensational EXAEL - Flowered Knife Shadows Grouper - Shade Instupendo - Love Power A-Z Jessy Lanza - DJ-Kicks Kid Smpl - Heaven Junk Koreless - Agor Lana Del Rey - Chemtrails Over the Country Club Macy Rodman - Unbelievable Animals Malibu - One Life : four remixes Mica Levi - Blue Alibi MMM - On the Edge MPU101 - MPU101 Pan Daijing - Jade Pauline Anna Strom - Angel Tears in Sunlight PinkPantheress - to hell with it Provoker - Body Jumper Saint Etienne - I've Been Trying to Tell You Sky H1 - Azure Sleigh Bells - Texis ssaliva & Dida - Bricol Sufjan Stevens & Angelo De Augustine - A Beginner's Mind Team Rockit - Bahamut Zero Tinashe - 333 Tirzah - Colourgrade Tori Amos - Ocean to Ocean Turnstile - GLOW ON TWICE - Taste of Love Vanessa Amara - Music for Acoustic Instruments & Feedback Xiu Xiu - OH NO Young Thug - Punk Yves Tumor - The Asymptotical World 7038634357 - Permanest

songs: Alaska Reid - Mermaid Tears (A. G. Club Mix) Arca - Ripples Arca - Lost Woman Found Azealia Banks - Fuck Him All Night Bad Gyal - Pussy Car Culture - You (ft. Great Skin) CFCF - End—Curve of Forgetting CFCF - Night/Home/Day/Work Charli XCX - Don't Think Twice Chief Keef - Bitch Where Croatian Amor & Scandinavian Star - Compass Danny L Harle - All Night Doss - Puppy Doss - Strawberry DV-i - Resonance Eiko Ishibashi - We'll Live Through the Long, Long Days, and Through the Long Nights (Oto) Erika de Casier - Friendly Erika de Casier - Polite (Natal’s latenitemix) Goodnight - In My Mind Grouper - Kelso (Blue sky) Helium - Try Me Instupendo - Be U Jazmine Sullivan - The Other Side Jessie Ware - Hot N Heavy Klein - hope dealers Koreless - White Picket Fence + Act(S) Lana Del Rey - Dark But Just a Game Low - More Macy Rodman - Rock 'N' Roll Gay Guy Magdalena Bay - Dawning of the Season Men I Trust - Oh Dove Mica Levi - Blue Shit MPU101 - M185-2SYS1M Normani - Wild Side (ft. Cardi B) Octo Octa - Find Your Way Home Oli XL - Go Oli Go! Peggy Gou - I Go PinkPantheress - Last valentines PinkPantheress - Take Me Home Provoker - Voice Enable Zero Sally Shapiro - Fading Away Schacke - Protect Me from What I Want Sewerslvt - Goodbye Shygirl - Siren (Basement Jaxx Cruise Mix) Sky H1 - Topaz Sleigh Bells - Knowing ssaliva & Dida - Marching Plushies Sufjan Stevens & Angelo De Augustine - Back to Oz Team Rockit - Bingo (d'Eon Remix) Tinashe - Let Me Down Slowly Tori Amos - Speaking With Trees Turnstile - ENDLESS TWICE - Conversation Utada Hikaru - One Last Kiss Young Thug - Die Slow (with Strick) Yves Tumor - Jackie 7038634357 - Centerline

films: Annette (Leos Carax) Baby Anger (Caroline Poggi, Jonathan Vinel) Benedetta (Paul Verhoeven) The Card Counter (Paul Schrader) Cliff Walkers (Yi-Mou Zhang) Drive My Car (Ryusuke Hamaguchi) Dune (Denis Villeneuve) Evangelion: 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon a Time (Hideaki Anno) How to With John Wilson S2 (John Wilson) Licorice Pizza (Paul Thomas Anderson) The Matrix Resurrections (Lana Wahowski) Memoria (Apichatpong Weerasethakul) Old (M. Night Shyamalan) The Power of the Dog (Jane Campion) The Scary of Sixty First (Dasha Nekrasova) Search Party S4 (Charles Rodgers, Sarah-Violet Bliss) Survivor S41 Titane (Julia Ducournau) Venom: Let There Be Carnage (Andy Serkis) We're All Going to the World's Fair (Jane Schoenbrun) Wife of a Spy (Kiyoshi Kurosawa) Wheel of Fortune and Fantasy (Ryusuke Hamaguchi) Why Did We Like Elfen Lied? (hazel) Worlds (Isaac Goes)

games: Atelier Ryza 2: Lost Legends & the Secret Fairy Bravely Default II Death's Door Ender Lilies: Quietus of the Knight Final Fantasy XIV: Endwalker Fuga: Melodies of Steel The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles Metroid Dread NieR Replicant ver.1.22474487139... Resident Evil Village Shin Megami Tensei III Nocturne HD Remaster Shin Megami Tensei V Ys IX: Monstrum Nox

[alloftheimaginess]

Can you do a supernatural cast series where you’re the wife and you do different interviews, like the videos on YouTube like Ad or thirst tweets or just answering fan questions whatever plz. If you have questions just message me and I’ll try to explain it further

Lol sorry it’s been like four months so don’t hate me but it’s been hard work juggling trying to write, school and work so sorry. I think it sucks but hopefully you’ll like it and I’ll be tagging the other parts in this one

Burning Fan Questions

Other parts

Alexander Calvert

Misha Collins

Jensen Ackles

"Hi I'm Yn Padalecki and I will be answer the fans burning questions about my life" I say smiling at the camera as I grab the bucket that's full of questions.

"I'm super nervous for this because before I got here Jared double dog dared me to answer literally every single question so I can't use my skip button" I say and the crew behind the camera laughs.

"Please for the love of god let their be questions to embarrass Jared more than me so he can eat it" I say giggling.

"First question" I say grabbing a folded up piece of paper from out the bucket.

"Who is the rudest celebrity that you've ever had the chance of meeting?" I read and I laugh.

"Oh that's a lot of them, there's an unsurprising amount of rude celebrities who think that they own Hollywood" I say laughing.

"But enough stalling because I have to answer this question anyway, the rudest celebrity that I've ever met was Christian Bale, no offense but he was a total dick to literally everyone around him, on set, off of set just everywhere" I say digging around the bucket for another question.

"What scandals has your team had to cover up?" I read and I start laughing.

"Noooooo" I say laughing even harder because I know I have to tell them.

"Okay okay. When I was 23 I had first met Jared and we got caught you know doing the deed and then the pictures were about to go out and they had to buy all of them back for double of what they were going to get" I say laughing shaking the bucket up and grabbing another one out.

"Have you ever used your celebrity status to get something for free?" I read.

"One time when I was out my daughter, Harlow we were getting frozen yogurt and I left my credit card at the restaurant we were at before without realizing it and at the register she goes oh my god are you Jared from supernatural's wife and when I'm with my daughters I usually pretend like I'm not but I totally knew she was going to give us the yogurt for free so I was like yeah, and then I asked her how she was and she was like oh this is totally on the house" I say laughing.

"I eventually went back and tipped a massive tip because I didn't pay last time" I say.

I grab another one out and I put the bucket down opening it "how many kids do you actually want?" I read.

"Well I already have two now but I'm aiming for at least five" I say laughing.

"I have a big family I'm one of 9 so I've always wanted a big family but not as big as mine so four or five would be a perfect size family for me, I honestly have a enough love for a million but four or five is definitely good for me" I say grabbing another question.

"If we came to your house what would we find in your cabinets food wise?" I read laughing.

"What an interesting question" I say.

"Everyone in the Padalecki household has their own cabinets because they are huge smackers. Harlow's is filled with the stuff she likes such as teddy Grahams, fruit roll ups, dried Cranberries, jolly ranchers stuff like that. Mine is filled with little cakes, gushers, banana chips which I swear by, peanuts, popcorn and Jared's, he has tons of candy, he is absolutely in love with white chocolate macadamia cookies and he always has those in his stash and Kiernan she's still on baby food so she's fully stocked on that" I say grabbing another question out.

"If you had to marry anyone that has starred along side your husband in his show supernatural who would it be?" I read.

"Oh hmm" I say laughing.

"Okay, Jensen is like Jared's best friend but I'm way closer to Misha so I'd definitely have to say Misha but no offense to his wife because I'd totally marry her as well or maybe even Rob, I love that man to pieces, he's a really good friend but then there's Rich, no offense to his wife Jaci but Rich and I have the best dance off's so that would be something to look forward to" I say laughing as I grab another question.

"If you woke up in Jared's body and had to stay in it for a day what would you do?" I say laughing.

"Easy, I'd leave myself little notes with plans for tomorrow so when I switch back he'll have to go through with them and we could have a perfectly planned out day because I planned it" I say laughing.

"If you go out to dinner with your non-famous friends, do you all still split the bill or do you pay?" I read.

"It depends really, my childhood friends don't like for me to pay for their stuff so we'll all split the bill but if I'm the one inviting everyone out then I'll pay before hand because then it'll be a lot of work trying to break it up" I say grabbing another question.

"What's one thing that Jared does that absolutely pisses you off?" I read cracking up.

"Breathes" I say smiling at the camera.

"I'm just kidding" I say laughing.

"When I'm super busy and like concentrating on my work he'll come over and innocently wrap his arms around me but then when I'm not paying him enough attention he'll start softly biting me and while I'm trying to work that can be so annoying" I say.

"What was the worst rumor that has been spread about you?" I read.

"I've had some pretty bad ones that I like to pretend didn't happen because they were literally so outrageous but I guess the worst one was that I was cheating on Jared. A few years back Harlow and I flew to my hometown for a few weeks and we spent Halloween out there and my twin sister and I dressed up as Sally from nightmare before Christmas because we've always done matching costumes whenever we're with each other and I posted a selfie on Instagram so everyone knew what I looked like but no one knew my twin sister was dressed identical to me and she took Harlow around with her now husband while I helped my parents be set up for the party and the paparazzi caught them together while they shared a kiss and while Eric played with Harlow and she was giggling and they put the photos on the front of the magazine and I was getting so much hate before I even knew what was going on and I was getting calls from our friends and they were asking me like how I could do that and then I had to go and post my pictures with my sister and write this long ass message about it and it was super bad" I say moving on.

"Who do you look up to the most, and what qualities do you love about that person?" I read.

"My grandma, she pretty much raised me. My parents weren't around often so I had to live with her for like 5 years, me and all of my siblings" I say digging in the bucket.

"But the qualities that I love about her is one, the fact that she is the strongest person I've had the honor of meeting" I say holding up one finger.

"Two, her boldness is like unbelievable. I took her to the oscars and she started flirting with The Rock and that's when I realized my grandma was my hero" I say laughing and I pull another question out.

"What's something you did as a child that no one knows about outside of your family?" I read.

"For two years I only spoke in a British accent, I had everyone confused at school because I never broke" I say laughing.

"How often do you and Jared have sex?" I read burying my face.

"No, I'm not going to be embarrassed. Sex is a normal thing, it brings about joy, relaxation, sometimes accidental pregnancies" I say laughing.

"But back to the question, I don't know. He's gone for like nine months out of the year but if he has a three day weekend or whatever then we'll spend a night together but when he's home in the three months he's off of filming it's literally whenever the kids are gone if even just for 20 minutes. We try to keep it as normal as possible" I say laughing.

"What's the last text conversation you had?" I read pulling out my phone and I laugh.

"I texted Robert about his new Batman movie because it was announced the other day and I just seen it this morning so I had to quickly congratulate him and he tells me that while I'm super late he still appreciates it and won't hold anything against me when it's time to hand out movie tickets and I said I'd never forgot about you shiny and he sent the middle finger emoji" I say laughing.

"What are your pet names that you and Jared have for each other?" I read.

"Ha, finally a question that he'd normally not talk about but I was dared so I call him Bubba or bubs" I say laughing.

"Literally it's how he's saved in my phone and he thinks it's so embarrassing" I say pulling my phone out and showing his contact name and photo.

"He's Bubba and he calls me a lot of different things but the one he always goes back to is beautiful or baby" I say smiling at the camera.

“Do your siblings and Jared get along?” I read and I laugh sighing.

“Like I mentioned earlier I’m one of nine so that’s eight siblings and then all of my siblings are older than me. I’m the baby and they are all married so my older brother and his husband love Jared and Jared loves them, we’re actually both of their kids godparents but then with my third oldest sister she doesn’t like me so she doesn’t like Jared by default you know” I say grabbing another question.

“Okay this is a question I have to know how often you do and Jared shower together?” I read laughing.

“Do you have to know that?” I ask laughing harder.

“Sorry to let you down but we don’t really, we’ll not anymore with kids it’s best one of us is out the shower while the other one quickly showers because we can’t leave them along for too long” I say knowing that my answer is not what they were expecting.

“But before kids it’s was an every morning thing we did together before heading out for our different business or whatever we had to do that day” I say.

“Did you have an oh shit moment at your wedding, and if so what was it?” I read and I nod.

“Yeah actually I did. But it’s been so long since we got married that I actually forgot until I read this question. My brother bless his poor heart showed up drunk like he was pregaming our wedding and the security didn’t know he was my brother so they were like kicking him out and my sister runs in like “oh my god Yn, the security just kicked Kalin out” so I’m like half dressed and I go down to try to figure out what the hell is happening and then I meet up with him and he throws up all over me like I’m talking full body covered and the make up artist just left and I had to shower and call her back so she could come fix my face and it was very traumatizing because it was so gross” I say laughing.

“But the whole wedding was beautiful and he didn’t drink at all” I say.

“If you had to pick a song from the late 10’s-2020 to be you and Jared’s couple song what would you pick?” I read and I awe.

“That’s a cute question. I guess I’d have to say Flicker by Niall Horan, we danced together to that song when Alex Calvert and his wife got married and it literally felt so magical and now whenever I hear it, it takes me back to a happy place and I just think about slow dancing with my best friend and husband” I say smiling.

“Do you and all the wives of the supernatural cast get along?” I read and I quickly nod.

“Those girls are some of my best friends, they know what it’s like to have a family and their husband work on supernatural so automatically we have something to bond over also with Alex’s wife she has a massive family so we often talk about the drama and problems that come along with it” I say laughing.

"Last one. What celebrity have you had beef with?" I read laughing.

"Daniel Radcliffe" I say quickly.

"But it was when we were younger filming the Harry Potter movies. We didn't like each other for like the first 4 movies" I say laughing.

"Our characters were close in the movie but on set we hated each other, I don't know why and I don't think he does either, I guess our energies just clashed but when we got to order of the Phoenix and we talked it out before we started filming and have been best friends in person ever since" I say laughing and tipping the bucket over.

"That was my last question. I'm Yn Padalecki and this has been answering fan questions. Thank you for watching and I hope you got a laugh out of at least some of these questions or you learned something you never thought you would learn about me" I say smiling at the camera

[the-avengers-ate-my-tongue]

Scars (Smut)

Scars

Summary: You hadn't seen Will ever since the day he left you to chase Hannibal in Florence, finding out after a while that he got married to someone else. But with the murders of the tooth fairy, Jack asked him to come back to help, and he couldn't stay away anymore, showing up for a visit. Will the old scars of your heart burst open in new wounds or heal completely?

Pairing: Will Graham x reader

Warnings: SMUT, angst, swearing, spoilers from season 3.

Word count: 3.381

A/n: this is the first smut I write in English, it's not my first language, so I hope it's alright. Any mistakes or anything, just let me know. This is another one with my boi Will, I just love him so much AAAAAA

As I read The Wuthering Heights for the hundredth time sitting in the living room, I heard someone ring the doorbell. I sighed, staring at the clock. It was still early. The person I was expecting would just come in, after all, Alana was a close friend and she knew she was allowed to do so. I raised an eyebrow. I wasn't expecting anybody else.

My dog, Sally, started to bark thunderously, sniffing under the door. I closed the book lethargicly, rolling my eyes as I got up the couch in a lazy mood, walking to the door and opening without asking who was outside, realizing perhaps too soon it was a mistake.

Will Graham stared at me, a light smile in his handsome face that didn't reach his eyes. I felt like something was twitching my stomach, and probably turned albescent. I hadn't seen him in over three years. Alana warned me he was back in town to work on the tooth fairy's case, but I didn't think he would stop by for a visit. Not after so long. 

"Good to see you, Y/n." He tried, obtaining no response of mine. "I… I was just around the neighborhood and I wanted to see you. It's been a while."

"Who gave you my address?" I retorted, probably sounding more hostile than I intended.  He stepped back, scratching the back of his neck, probably already regretting the impulsive idea. 

"Jack."

"Of course he did. What else did he tell you?"

"Was there anything else he should've told me?" I searched his face for any sign of emotions, but didn't get anything that could tell me what he was feeling. The old Will was someone I could always read, no matter what. After Hannibal came along, he just started to show less and less emotions, till his face became a cold mask, his deep eyes empty, opaque. I missed the sweet, caring Will. 

I was just standing there, silent. Sally found some space between my legs and managed to get out the house, launching at Will, wagging her tail and trying to get close enough of his ears so she could lick them. Will laughed lightly, crouching down to pet her. 

"Who's this?" He asked, scratching behind her ears. I crossed my arms, I gave everything to that dog, undying love, a bed, high quality food, and now she backstabs me. 

"That's Sally. She's a stray I took in one year and a half ago. Sally, sweetheart, come inside." I whistled once and she obeyed, running through my legs again. I sighed, stepping away from the door so he could come in. Maybe he wouldn't stay for long if I just let him in. He hesitated, but entered, passing through me. I could smell the air as he passed, he still used the same aftershave. That hurt even more, and I could feel my eyes watering a little. Why did he have to come? Why was he here? What does he want? 

I tried to hide it, opening the kitchen door so Sally could play in the backyard, then walking to the sideboard where I kept whisky.

"Would you like some?" I inquired, still not feeling safe enough to face him. "I'm pouring myself one."

"Sure. Please. Neat." He replied, and I could feel his eyes on me, watching every single movement I made. That made my hands tremble a bit, and I cursed in a whisper when I spilled a little bit of the drink. So fucking clumsy. 

I finally faced him when I felt my eyes get dryer, smiling lightly as I gave him the glass of whisky, neat. Our fingers touched a bit and I sat beside him, albeit a little far, taking a long sip of my glass. We stayed like that for a few minutes, two strangers that used to know each other, love each other. My eyes traveled through his face and I distinguished some new scars, probably from the great encounter with Hannibal Lecter and Mason Verger​ a few years ago. I remembered the way I used to kiss every single scar he had, I loved every part of Will, his scars were part of his story, part of who he was. 

He lowered his eyes for a moment, smiling as he saw the book standing on the coffee table.

"Is it still your favorite? Wuthering Heights." He grabbed the book, opening the first page. There was the name I didn't use anymore. Y/n Graham. He gave me that edition as a Christmas gift a long time ago, and I couldn't get rid of it, fantasizing that after such a long time, I could still feel Will's scent in it. 

"Undoubtedly. Every time I read it it's like the first. Except maybe now it's even more bitter." I avoided facing him, staring at the book, suddenly feeling pretty silly. He didn't ask. He knew why. 

"I suppose Heathcliff's still your favorite character."

"Now more than even, guess I finally understand his suffering." I regretted sounding so harsh, but it was said now. Will clenched his jaw.

"So you're saying I'm your Catherine?"

"I don't know. Am I?" I teased, hugging my body protectively. "Why are you here, Will? Why did you have to come? To torment me? You left three years ago after I begged you to stay, you just had to go after Hannibal, pursue your hunt. I allowed you to go, but I couldn't be there when you returned. I didn't even know you would return alive or if I would see a miserable Jack Crawford knocking on my door with grief in his face. I wouldn't bear it. So I left, but I kept expecting you to come find me if you ever got back. Then, Hannibal was finally arrested. I thought it was finally over, but you never came. You left again, and a while later I heard…"

My eyes traveled through his hands and I saw it. The wedding ring. That hurt so much I finally felt tears wetting my face, and dismissed them quickly with one hand.

"So it is true. You did get married." My voice sounded venomous, sharp as a knife. "Lucky girl. We didn't even get to that stage. Engagement was the maximum."

He was silent, allowing me to vent. As I haven't done that a lot with Alana already. His eyes were finally wet, finally some emotion on his face. That handsome face. That face I would never get tired of. I wanted to kiss them away, hold him and tell him everything would be okay, but it wouldn't. That teacup would never gather itself up again. We were two broken souls. 

"I thought you wouldn't want me anymore. I wasn't the man you once met, the man you fell for, I was no longer good for you, if I ever have been. Hannibal changed me in ways you could never understand, ways even I don't understand."

"Hannibal changed all of us. Like a poison ivy that found its way into our cores and grew roots there. I can still feel his damage inside me, like… A cancer. It spreads. It tastes like metal at the tip of my tongue. I saw his face in my dreams for a very long time after you left. I still see him sometimes, not necessarily in my dreams…" I stopped talking as he grabbed my hand, caressing the palm with his thumb. I realized how much I missed his hands. They were a little rough due to how much he worked with them, but it never bothered me. It was ridiculous how much he could still affect me with a single touch, a look. 

"I wanted to start over. Leave everything behind. I wanted to… Flee from that darkness that nested me. But it followed me, as it does wherever I go. I wanted someone pure, so it could contain it, or even diminish it. But you, Y/n… You never left my mind. I could never suppress you." He raised his hand, touching my cheek with cold, pale fingers. That touch made me close my eyes, his voice working like a balsam inside of me. I sighed, totally giving in. 

Will got closer, his lips touching mine with such delicacy. I touched his hair, grabbing some on the back of his neck, pulling it lightly. That made him release a low groan, as the kiss started to get deeper. I moved my body, wanting to stay as close to him as the laws of physics allowed, and when I felt his tongue touch mine, fireworks eclode from my chest, my heart beating as fast as a hummingbird's. 

I still loved him, of course I did. I never stopped. All the bitterness he left with his departure started to boil on my chest, becoming something else, something I couldn't figure out yet. His lips moved from mine to my neck, and I moaned a little louder, sinking my nails on his shoulders. One of his hands moved to my thigh and I allowed myself to lie down on the couch, pulling him with me. He lifted my leg and I embraced his waist with them, feelings mixtured inside my chest. That was wrong, he was a married man now. He had a wife waiting for him back home. 

But, for a moment while he stared at me, our foreheads glued together, I saw my Will in his eyes. I saw the Will I first met, the socially awkward man Alana introduced me years ago and couldn't even stare me in the eyes, the kind, caring man I once knew. One single tear fell from his eye, and I knew he was probably conflicted as well. I kissed it away, kissing his lips again, a deep, slow kiss that made my insides chiver. I needed him so much. Even if it was just one time. Just for today. I needed that kind of closure.

I unbottoned his shirt, sinking my fingers into the skin of his biceps. He threw it on the floor, going for my clothes, and I thanked myself mentally for a moment for wearing a dress. He'd seen it before, he'd taken it off many times. He lifted the piece of clothing above my head and I threw it away gladly, kissing his neck while opening his pants. He kicked off his shoes, doing the same with the pants and underwear as I took off my bra. He took a while to stare at my body, his pupils so dilated with lust his eyes were almost completely black.

"No one looks at me the way you do." I said, noticing I haven't heard that tone in my voice for a very long time. 

He pulled my panties off and rested his hips on mine, shutting his eyes as he slipped slowly inside of me. I let out a low gasp, trying to stabilize my breathing. Will hid his face on my neck and I could feel his hot breathing and the light scratches of his beard. Still slowly, he started to move inside me, thrusting back and forth. I bit my bottom lip as I tried to suppress a groan, and one of his hands grabbed my breast, his thumb stimulating the nipple. Will knew all my "buttons". Where to push, where to hold, so I could melt in his hands. 

He started to thrust faster and faster, and I could feel the familiar feeling growing at the bottom of my stomach. A few more minutes and I lifted my head up, shutting my eyes as the pleasure started to grow.

"No." Will said almost in a whisper, pulling my chin down. "Let me see your face. I need it." 

I stared at him while we both climaxed, a loud cry leaving my lips and Will's almost louder groan echoing through my ears. He dropped his body on mine, both of us covered in sweat and bodily fluids. We stayed that way until we could breathe normally again, his head on my chest and my fingers playing with his hair.

I wanted to say so many things. How much I loved him. How much I wanted him to stay. How much I've missed him. But he knew. He always knew. After that, we showered together to get rid of the sweat, and even then we couldn't stay away from each other. He hugged me while the water washed our body, kissing sometimes my lips, sometimes my forehead, my neck, my shoulder. I kissed every single one of his scars, as I used to do. I thought I'd seen tears on his face, but it might have been the water pouring from the shower. 

After we finished the shower, he got dressed and I put on a robe, my hair wetting the silk. Will took my face in his hands, kissing my lips with tenderness. I wanted to ask him to stay. He knew that. I wanted him to leave before I made a fool of myself.

He was still holding my face when the door suddenly opened and I pushed him away quickly.

Alana entered, looking from Will to me, and I knew I would get scolded later for that. She noticed, always cunning. 

"Well, just look what the cat dragged in." She said with sarcasm, the door still open. "Hi, Will. Long time no see."

"Alana." He said, seeming surprised. She didn't have time to answer, though. Her son, Morgan, entered the house accompanied by my little world.

"Mommy!" The dark haired child ran to me, bringing a smile to my face as I crouched down to hug him.

"My beautiful boy! Did you have fun at the zoo?" I asked, forgetting about Will's presence for a while. "I hope he wasn't too much trouble, Alana. Henry, did you behave?"

"Mommy, we saw a lion! He roared, and then we saw the giraffes, and the tiger…"

"Look at you dodging my question! Very canny." I laughed, hugging him again.

"He always behaves, you know that. He's a good kid." Alana answered, but she wasn't looking at me. She was staring directly at Will.

I looked at him. His eyes were on Henry, he seemed shocked, astonished. 

"I'll be on my way, then. I'll call you later." She said almost like a threat, making me smile.

"Okay. Bye, Morgan. Send my regards to Margot, Alana, and come to dinner at the end of the week."

"Will do. See you around, Will." She closed the door behind her, leaving me with the two people I loved the most. 

"Henry, this is Will. He's an old friend of mommy's. Won't you say hello?" I brought him closer to Will, and he got down on his knees, his eyes wet. 

"Hi, Henry." He greeted, smiling with joy. Real joy. I smiled back, caressing Henry's hair. "It's nice meeting you."

"Hi." He replied with shyness, hiding behind my body. That made me laugh lightly.

"Baby, why don't you go upstairs and draw a picture of that lion you saw? How about that?" I asked him, kissing the top of his head.

"Okay, mommy." He started to climb up the stairs as Will still stared at him, seeming amazed. 

"Is he… Is he…" Will tried to formulate his words, emotion breaking his voice.

"Yes. He's yours. Not difficult to notice, right? He looks just like you." I replied, wiping the tears away. "I found out I was pregnant a few days after you left. When you came back and Hannibal was arrested, I wanted to tell you, but I didn't want you to stick with me just because of the baby, so I just… Didn't. He was about a year old when I found out you got married. Alana is his godmother, she helped me so much. She and Margot. He's just a little younger than their son, Morgan, they're best friends. Henry's very smart. He's a joyful child. He's kind, caring to others. He reminds me of you all the time. He's my biggest accomplishment."

Will's face was blushed from crying, but he smiled through the tears, cleaning his face with the sleeve of his shirt.

"Mommy!" Henry called from the top of the stairs, crayons on his hands. "Can I show Hannibal the drawing?"

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I grimaced, feeling Will's gaze on me. He wasn't supposed to find out that way, I didn't even have the time to tell him slowly so I could try to explain what made no sense. 

"Ahn… Sure, honey. Sure. If you want. Now go to your room for a bit, okay? Mommy will see you in a minute, and then you can show me the drawing." I waited until he entered the room, hearing the door shut. I turned myself to Will.

"Did I hear it right? Hannibal?" Will raised his voice a little and I gestured him to keep his voice down. "Hannibal has seen the kid? You're taking him to see Hannibal?" 

"I know how it sounds, just let me explain…" I asked, noticing the change in his eyes. They were once again cold, but sharp. He was angry. 

"How do you explain this? Y/n? Have you lost your mind?"

"Yes! Yes, I fucking have! I lost my mind when you left, goddamnit!" I screamed, covering my mouth, hoping Henry would not come out of his bedroom. "Hannibal was the last link I had with you. So I sought comfort with the only one who would understand what was like to lose you. Because no one fucking did. Even Alana couldn't help me. So yes, I turned to Hannibal. Because he knows what's like to love you, to ache for you. And you don't get to judge me for that."

Will's eyes were wide, like he couldn't believe what I was saying. 

"Besides…" I sniffed, rubbing my face with my hands "Hannibal cares for him. I know it. And Henry just adores him, Will, you should see…"

"My God, listen to what you're saying, Y/n! Listen to yourself!" He grabbed my face with his hands a little roughly, making me hold his wrists. "He's a killer. He's a cold killer. Can't you see how dangerous it is?"

"Well, we're all fucking killers!" I pushed him away, breathing hard. "Or have you forgotten about it? The night we killed Randall Tier? You really think that wouldn't stain me? Or maybe you do, and that's why you married another woman, with all her purity, because you couldn't bear to see how much you and Hannibal have broken me!" 

He kept staring at me with that look in his eyes, the cold, sharp look that made me shiver. For a moment, I felt the danger of him trying to take my kid away. Would he even consider that? No. No one would take my child away from me. He was mine. 

"This was a bad idea, I should've never allowed you to come inside. Please, leave." I asked, pointing to the door.

He stayed put.

"Will, you better leave. Now. I'm warning you." I stepped away from him, but he pulled me closer, hugging me tightly. I hid my face in his chest, sobbing, hitting him weakly on the shoulders with my fists. "Just go, please. Just go."

"We'll figure it out. Everything will be fine." He kissed me for the last time, letting me go. I knew he would be back. He stared at me once more, and finally left, closing the door behind me. 

"Mommy, why are you crying?" I heard Henry's voice and turned to look at him coming down the stairs, kneeling to hug him. "Please mommy, don't cry!"

"It's okay, baby. Mommy is fine. Everything will be okay. How about a nice bath before we go see Hannibal, uh? Let's go."

"With bubbles?" He asked, clapping in joy. I smiled back to him, caressing his hair.

"With bubbles. Lots of bubbles." I kissed the top of his head and rushed him to the bathroom, an uneasy feeling pumping on my chest. I knew that wouldn't be the last time I saw Will. He would be back. Yes, he would. 

[jxrm]

book log - 2017

tampa by alissa nutting

turtles all the way down by john green

vegas girls by heather skyler

class mom by laurie gelman

anne of green gables by l.m. montgomery

the identicals by elin hilderbrand

quidditch through the ages by j.k. rowling

the breakdown by b.a. paris

final girls by riley sager

audition by ryu murakami

gray wolf island by tracey neithercott

the stranger beside me by ann rule

one of us is lying by karen m. mcmanus

the call by peadar o gullin

a thousand nights by e.k. johnston

the library at mount char by scott hawkins

tender morsels by margo lanagan

rings by koji suzuki

the good daughter by karin slaughter

because you love to hate me by amerie

the party by robyn harding

primates of park avenue by wednesday martin

you by caroline kepnes

someday, someday, maybe by lauren graham

the hating game by sally thorne

eleanor oliphant is completely fine by gail honeyman

shine by lauren myracle

when dimple met rishi by sandhya menon

you can have a dog when i'm dead by paul benedetti

it's always the husband by michele campbell

princeless: raven the pirate princess by jeremy whitley

princeless: free women by jeremy whitley

goodbye, vitamin by rachel khong

sabine's notebook by nick bantock

always and forever, lara jean by jenny han

talking as fast as i can by lauren graham

three wishes by liane moriarty

behind closed doors by b.a. paris

dark places by gillian flynn

behind her eyes by sarah pinborough

baby proof by emily giffin

american gods by neil gaiman

confessions of a domestic failure by bunmi laditan

wedding night by sophie kinsella

you suck by christopher moore

night film by marisha pessi

the subtle art of not giving a fuck by mark manson

let's explore diabetes with owels by david sedaris

the here and now by ann brashares

it started with goodbye by christina june

murder games by elisabeth crabtree

the enchantress returns by chris colfer

down the rabbit hole by holly madison

women who run with the wolves by clarissa pinkola estes

goons n' roses by donna joy usher

the silent wife by a.s.a. harrison

cocoa and chanel by donna joy usher

secondhand souls by christopher moore

the seven steps to closure by donna joy usher

stranger than fanfiction by chris colfer

you are here by jenny lawson

killing mr. griffin by lois duncan

a dirty job by christopher moore

joyland by stephen king

irrestible by adam alter

small great things by jodi picoult

stranger with my face by lois duncan

the vegas diaries by holly madison

the potluck club by linda evans shepard

the girl with the dragon tattoo by stieg larsson

the wishing spell by chris colfer

one less problem without you by beth harbison

saving ceecee honeycutt by beth hoffman

in the country we love by diane guerrero

the last anniversary by liane moriarty

i woke up dead at the mall by judy sheehan

remembrance by meg cabot

girl in translation by jean kwok

very good lives by j.k. rowling

milk and honey by rupi kaur

my grandmother asked me to tell you she's sorry by fredrik backman

the screwtape letters by c.s. lewis

reconstructing amelia by kimberly mccreight

how to fall in love by cecelia ahern

wild by cheryl strayed

NOS4A2 by joe hill

year of yes by shonda rhimes

troublemaker by leah remini

the summer we read gatsby by daniella ganek

the miraculous journey of edward tulane by kate dicamillo

sorry not sorry by naya rivera

the circle by dave eggers

the woman in cabin 10 by ruth ware

boneshaker by cherie priest

time cat by lloyd alexander

the color purple by alice walker

all the light we cannot see by anthony doerr

the princess bride by william goldman

when breath becomes air by paul kalanthi

the wangs vs. the world by jade chang

mischiling by affinity konar

sarong party girls by cheryl lu-lien tan

nine woman, one dress by jane l. rosen

the light between oceans by m.i. stedmaan

magonia by maria dahvana headley

the restaurant critic's wife by elizabeth laban

the couple next door by shari lapena

the wedding sisters by jamie brenner

how to be a bawse by lilly singh

where am i now? by mara wilson

scrappy little nobody by anna kendrick

double cup love by eddie huang

little girl gone by gerry schmitt

truly madly guilty by liane moriarty

something in between by melissa de la cruz

rich people problems by kevin kwan

modern romance by aziz ansari

yes, my accent is real by kunal nayyar

the girl on the train by paula hawkins

we should hang out sometime by josh sundquist

love ltters to teh dead by ava dellaira

what alice forgot by liane morairty

bringing it home by tilda shalof

the maintenance man by michael baisden

charlie and the great glass elevator by roald dahl

the princess diaries by meg cabot