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Is Your Click Safe? Discover the Power of a URL Safety Checker!
Introduction
With the internet becoming increasingly essential in daily life, so has the threat of online scams, malware, and phishing attacks. Just a single careless click can open the door to a world of risks, from stolen data to financial loss. This reality makes the need for a safe URL checker critical, both for individuals and businesses. A URL safety checker is an essential tool that evaluates whether links are safe before you click on them, adding a vital layer of security to your online experience. In this guide, we’ll explore how a website safety checker works, why it’s crucial for your online safety, and how you can use a variety of URL checkers to protect yourself and your devices.
What Is a Safe URL Checker and Why You Need It
A safe URL checker is a tool designed to verify the safety of a URL or website link before you access it. It analyzes various elements of a URL, from checking for signs of malware to scanning for phishing markers. URL checkers utilize extensive databases and machine-learning algorithms to identify potential threats embedded within websites. With the rapid growth of cyber threats, having a reliable URL safety checker is more important than ever, especially when cybercriminals increasingly rely on deceptive links to access personal data.
Why Do You Need a URL Safety Checker?
Using a URL checker online allows you to verify if a website is secure before you enter sensitive information, like passwords or credit card details. These tools can protect you against common types of cyber attacks, including phishing and malware-infected sites. For anyone who shops, banks, or simply browses online, a website safety checker is an invaluable layer of defense. A single security check URL can save you from potential data breaches or malware infections.
The Role of a URL Safety Checker in Everyday Browsing
For many people, browsing the internet is a seamless experience—until it’s disrupted by a suspicious link or a pop-up warning. A URL safety checker is essential in such situations, allowing users to verify suspicious links. Imagine receiving an unexpected email from a reputable company asking you to click on a link to "update your account." With a phishing URL checker, you can immediately assess whether the link is legitimate or a scam.
How to Integrate Safe URL Checkers in Everyday Use
You can make URL checkers part of your daily browsing habits with browser extensions or dedicated mobile apps. Some URL safety checkers also integrate into web filters, alerting you to malicious links before you even click them. With the rising prevalence of online scams, integrating a reliable website safety checker into your daily browsing is a smart choice to avoid dangerous clicks.
How a Website Safety Checker Protects You from Online Threats
From viruses to phishing scams, online threats are continuously evolving. A website safety checker offers real-time scanning to help you avoid these hazards. By evaluating a link's reputation, scanning for malware signatures, and checking for phishing indicators, a URL reputation checker helps shield your device and personal data from harm. Some advanced tools even analyze the website's SSL certificate and IP reputation, enhancing security.
The Technology Behind URL Scanners
Modern URL checkers utilize AI and machine learning to detect new patterns in cyber threats. For example, Google Safe Browsing, an extensive database maintained by Google, is frequently used by URL scanners to check if a site is flagged for unsafe content. Some tools, like VirusTotal, even aggregate data from multiple security databases, ensuring that the analysis of each link is comprehensive.
Using a URL Scanner to Identify Unsafe Links
If you’re sent a link from an unknown sender, using a URL scanner is a smart first step. These tools can inspect the link's destination without you needing to visit it, and they’ll alert you to any flagged content or suspicious activity. This is especially useful in emails or messages where scams often circulate.
How to Use a URL Scanner
Many popular URL scanners like Norton Safe Web or Kaspersky Threat Intelligence Portal allow you to paste the URL directly for an instant analysis. By performing a security check URL scan before clicking, you add a layer of proactive security to your browsing habits. This strategy is particularly useful when you’re unsure about a link’s origin or if it’s from a source that you don’t trust entirely.
Stay Vigilant: The Importance of a Phishing URL Checker
Phishing attacks are designed to trick users into revealing sensitive information by impersonating reputable entities. A phishing URL checker specifically looks for indicators of a phishing site, such as suspicious URLs, fake SSL certificates, or domain names that mimic trusted brands. With a phishing URL checker, you can ensure that the link isn’t attempting to exploit your trust or steal your information.
How Phishing URL Checkers Identify Dangerous Links
Phishing URL checkers rely on databases of known phishing sites, as well as detection algorithms that analyze website structure and content. For instance, tools like PhishTank maintain lists of verified phishing URLs, allowing you to cross-check URLs against a constantly updated registry. Using these checkers before entering sensitive information can protect you from some of the most common online scams.
The Benefits of Performing a Regular Link Safety Check
Regularly performing a link safety check is a proactive approach to cyber hygiene. Rather than waiting to be alerted to a scam, you can regularly check URLs you encounter, especially in work environments where cyber threats are frequent. By incorporating link safety checks into your routine, you build a habit of cautious clicking, reducing the risk of accidental exposure to malicious content.
Link Safety in Personal and Professional Settings
Whether for personal or business use, regularly scanning links can minimize the impact of cyber attacks. Many businesses now mandate link safety checks to secure their networks against phishing and malware. By adding a website link checker to your digital toolkit, you’re investing in long-term digital safety and protecting valuable data.
Choosing the Best URL Checker Online for Your Security Needs
When it comes to selecting the right URL checker online, consider factors like accuracy, speed, and the scope of detection. While basic URL scanners are free, paid versions often offer more extensive analysis, checking for broader security threats, such as advanced phishing tactics and ransomware.
Top URL Checkers Online
For the best security results, look for URL checkers like ScanURL, URLVoid, or SiteCheck by Sucuri. Each of these tools has unique strengths, from evaluating link reputation to detecting malware and phishing tactics. A URL checker online that suits your specific needs can significantly reduce your vulnerability to online threats.
Conclusion
In a world where one wrong click can lead to identity theft or financial loss, a safe link checker is more than just a tool—it’s a necessity. From basic phishing checks to comprehensive malware scans, URL safety checkers provide critical defenses against a range of online threats. By using URL scanners, incorporating regular link safety checks, and choosing the right online tools, you can transform your browsing habits and shield yourself from common cyber risks. Embracing URL safety practices empowers you to browse with confidence, secure in the knowledge that your clicks are safe.
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♥ damnation [ the king of hearts ]
– Summary: When you commit a crime, you receive a punishment. This is especially true in your society. No matter the crime, your punishment is the same: banishment. But to where you will be sent in exile and how miserable will it be? No one knows, because no one has ever returned.
– Warning: Yes, this is a yandere thing. Gender-neutral reader.
– Characters: Ace Trappola, Deuce Spade, Cater Diamond, Trey Clover, Riddle Rosehearts.
– Note: Decided to try a new type of look with the formatting here, thought it would be a good opportunity since I used the original formatting I usually use with the original announcement post. Okay, so, here is one of currently three and what will eventually be seven results from my damnation project, which I’ll link below. Lots of content for y’all. I wanted to put all three results in one post, but that would be so annoying for readers because the post would end up ridiculously long. Which is why I opted to separate the results. Anyways, I’m also posting these here for those who do not want to take my quiz (please try it, I worked hard on it!) or just can’t get the result they want from it. So, here it is.
– Pages: 42
– Not satisfied? Try looking here for the quiz to take it yourself and see where you end up banished!
The King of Hearts | The Hyena Chieftain
Robes. You were wearing robes of the finest quality that weighed heavily on your shoulders. This surface you laid on felt... nice. Soft, nothing like the hard bench of the prison cell. As you sat up and recalled your current dire situation, you felt a sense of dread loom overhead like a thick blanket of gray clouds. Immediately, fearfully, you scanned your surroundings. Everything was painted red, there was so much red velvet. The floors were polished checkered black and white and the furniture, if not completely red, was crafted of finely carved wood. It was fancy here. Safe, for now. Wherever this place was.
There was something hefty on your head, only noticing its weight settling on your skull as you moved to stand up from the crimson red sheets on the king-sized mattress. As you removed the item from your head, you were perplexed to see a small golden crown and a heart-shaped staff beside the spot you had laid on. Wait just a moment... red everywhere? A fancy setting? A crown and a heart-shaped staff? Rapidly you dashed over to the mirror just beside the bed, gasping at your appearance.
You were dressed just like royalty. And not just any royalty, like a king. A king of red with a heart-shaped staff... Just like the meek king that was married to the ruthless Queen of Hearts from the fairytales. So it was true, criminals were often sent to dangerous tales where they would perish. And you... you were a criminal and you were here, but... you were the king. How did the story go again?
The Red Queen, or Queen of Hearts, ruled over Wonderland with an iron fist. She would behead anyone who got in her way, and her reign terrorized the residents of the realm. That is, until Alice fell down a hole and arrived in Wonderland. She would eventually free this land from the oppressive rein of the queen. As for the king... what happened to him again? He didn't really appear in the story. You wracked your memory for an answer, when the horrid realization came to you. The Red Queen had been so terribly jealous and suspected that her husband was cheating, that she had him beheaded! His head left to rot as it floated in a river of blood, surrounded by the heads of other victims, and the king's lifeless head still with the crown. He had died before Alice even arrived in Wonderland!
You clutched your neck, grimacing at the thought of your own detached head, crown still attached, doomed to sail in a moat of blood. It made you sick to your stomach just thinking about it. There had to be a way to prevent your death, or at least stall for time, but how? The king couldn't just up and run away! People would take notice immediately, someone would inform the queen, and you'd be a goner for sure! But then what? You couldn't kill her either, could you...? It certainly was an idea. You would be doing a favor for the rest of Wonderland too...
THUMP!
Abruptly the doors flew open, nearly causing you to shriek. But you managed to hold your tongue as you quickly placed your crown back on and clutched your staff. When your eyes focused on the door, you were surprised and almost relieved to see the figure of a short young man that had slammed the doors open. He was... rather adorable, actually. It caused you to tilt your head, endeared by his appearance.
The young man had hair that shamed the red roses, and wide gray eyes. As soon as his eyes landed on you, however, his face grew flush and his expression twisted into one of rage. Immediately he slammed the doors shut behind him, stomping up to you, his heels violently clicking against the tiled floors. When the short young man was in your face, another horrible realization dawned on you. With that crown on his head and his wondrous red garbs, this could only be the queen. Or at least, someone meant to be the red queen.
“You knave! Where have you been lurking?!”
“I…” You were at a loss for words. What were you supposed to say? What was the king even doing before you got here? Most importantly, how would you avoid this queen’s wrath?
At your lack of a response, he only seemed to grow more frustrated as he threw wild accusations, “You–– You’ve been sneaking about, seducing the men of my court, haven’t you?! I shall have your head––!”
“Wha–– N-No, I haven’t!” You blurted out. The king was originally beheaded because the queen was jealous and thought she would lose him to others. So if you could assure him that your heart belonged to him, well… survival just might be possible. Although acting wasn’t necessarily your strong point, you could only try for the sake of living another day. Nervously you smiled, throwing aside your staff as you lifted your hands to gently hold his fist he had been angrily waving near your face. Thank god he didn’t have a knife or anything of the sort, or you feared he may have tried to stab you out of raging envy. “How could I ever dare to throw my loyalty to you away…? You are amazing…! I apologize sincerely if I haven’t been able to express my love for you properly. Sometimes it feels like you’re really too much for my heart to handle, you in all your… glory…!” Oh god, this was going terribly. All you could do to give the messy act a bow to top it off, was lean your head down and hesitantly kiss the back of his hand.
Miraculously, that seemed to work. Almost. The queen’s face was no longer as flushed, but he gazed down at you as you lingered at his hand. Suspicion was still evident in his eyes. “How do I know?”
“H-Huh…?”
“How do I know you aren’t lying? How do I know you won’t leave me as well? How do I know that you still love me? Prove it to me.” Those gray eyes of his watched you carefully, seemingly unhappy with your lack of a response. After about five seconds of no answer, his face scrunched up and he bellowed, “Guards!! Gua–– mmph!”
Not knowing what else to do, you kissed him. He wanted a sign of devotion, right? Oh god, this was it. Your death was here and now. You had no other way to shut him up. If you covered his mouth with your hands, you were a goner. If you attacked him, you were a goner. If you tried to continue reasoning, you were still a goner! You can’t believe that this was how you died, having to kiss a stranger as your last desperate attempt to stay alive. Well, he wanted a sign. You were ready for him to push you off and armored guards come running in to drag you to the guillotine, when the most unexpected thing happened. He froze, he didn’t fight back or scream bloody murder.
When you slowly pulled away, you were stunned. His face was flush again, but for an entirely different reason other than anger. There was a dazed look on his face, and it almost looked as if he wanted to do it again judging by how he gazed longingly at your lips. It was then you understood that your reckless decision making might’ve just saved your neck.
The red ruler frowned, but you were unsure if it was because he was unsatisfied with something or if it were for another reason entirely. This time, when he opened his mouth, he spoke softly, as if still dazed. “You scoundrel… How dare you play with my heart like this? I should still take your head for that.” You gulped, but he continued. “But… I truly didn’t want to get rid of you. So I’m glad we can avoid that now. I expect to see you well away from the noblemen.”
“Y-Yes… Your Majesty.”
At your obedient response, he smiled and patted your head. “Good.” Taking one step closer, he leaned forward and pressed a kiss against your cheek. He lingered there for a few moments, before taking one step back.
The action left you flustered, embarrassed, because not only had you kissed a stranger but they had kissed you in return. And not only that, this crimson ruler believed you were his partner, the king! Under normal circumstances, you would’ve considered yourself lucky to land in such a position since the king has so much power and wealth. But in this type of situation, you can only shudder to think of what may come next and what would’ve become of you. Because these were no ordinary circumstances, and this was no normal kind ruler.
“Come along now. I don’t want you alone, do you understand?”
“Yes… Your Majesty.”
He beckoned you towards the very doors he entered from, and when he opened them, you were met with another character. It was a tall man with glasses and short messy dark green hair. Immediately he bowed to the queen, but when his eyes landed on you, he looked as if he saw a ghost.
“Change of plans, Trey. We will not be beheading my king today. Nor tomorrow, I think. They’ve become quite affectionate, so my doubts have been dismissed.”
“O-Of course, Your Majesty…” The glass-wearing man, Trey, glanced over at you with disbelief, but he looked a bit relieved, it’s as if he wanted to say something. But he opted to hold his tongue and instead shifted his gaze forward as he walked beside the red-haired royal. “There is still that soldier imprisoned that displeased you.”
“Ah yes, the one that claimed to see those messy blonde locks but failed to capture our lost wanderer. Bring him to me in the throne room.” Just then he glanced at you as you walked a bit behind him, “My dear, you must be there with me. This should be quite the spectacle. I will see you in a moment.”
“A-As you say, Your Majesty…” You replied stiffly.
He frowned and stopped in his tracks before grabbing your collar and bringing your face closer to his. What you half expected was a sharp knife against your throat, something that would kill you, but there was no such thing. There was only his sharp gaze and disappointed tone. “You’re supposed to respond with: my dear. Not Your Majesty, not Rosehearts, but perhaps I’ll allow Riddle for now. Do you understand, dearest?”
So his name was Riddle. Judging by Riddle’s tone, he wasn’t angry, but rather irked that all the sweetness from earlier was now gone. Proceeding, you chose your words carefully as you attempted to smile as convincingly as possible, “Y-Yes, of course, anything you say, Riddle, my darling.”
At your words his cheeks became a pink hue before he let go of you and cleared his throat, quickly turning away and proceeding forward towards the end of the hall where he had whatever duties to fulfill. So you were left with Trey, his subordinate. The calm and collected tall man’s shoulders sagged once the royal left, all the tension seemingly evaporating from his body. When he gave you a somewhat soft smile, your worries ceased for the moment as well. “I’m glad you’re still intact. I was certain you were a goner.” He was… nice? “You need to be more careful. I don’t know what you did to change Riddle’s mind, but he was ready to behead you himself. You know how he keeps that huge battle ax under his bed. He mentioned something about using that, and I thought he was going to use it to chop your head clean off.”
Oh god. That little guy was going to do that? That stupid kiss really did save your skin. “Heh, I’m still a little shaken…” Wait, you were supposed to be acting like the king! What did the king even act like? How were you supposed to know? He never even lived long enough to make it into the story! “I, um, am very appreciative towards your concern… Trey.”
Trey appeared a bit surprised but he then smiled once more at you. “We’ll talk more later. Right now, we have a situation on our hands.”
What kind of situation? You didn’t even have time to ask when Trey led you down the checkered hall to an opening behind velvet red curtains which were the entrance directly to the large elegant throne room. There, you saw another stranger talking animatedly to the less-than-pleased-looking Rosehearts. This stranger had orange hair that brushed against his lower neck, and he had much more enthusiasm than those you had encountered thus far.
“Dear, there you are.” Instantly Riddle visibly brightened up as he gestured to the soft smaller heart-shaped throne beside his much larger grand seat. “Come, sit, we’re currently discussing the important matters at hand. Such as the dilemma with our prisoner. Cater, continue.”
When this Cater, fellow’s, green eyes trailed over to you, they became filled with surprise as he fumbled over his words, “Huh–– O-Oh! Right!” Forcing his gaze back on the red-haired royal, he began explaining, “There’s nothing really new to talk about, Your Majesty! I mean, seriously, this rookie was just the unlucky one that happened to see that blondie Ellis. According to him when I went to question him, he just said that he saw the guy in blue and when he went to confront him, Ellis escaped with some purple beastman!”
“Purple beastman…?” For a mere moment he appeared perplexed, when quickly the dots began to connect in his mind as he gasped, “Chen’ya! Why, the nerve of that––!”
When you saw his face begin to heat up again and a look of anger crossed his face, you slowly placed your hand over his arm that rested on the armrest of the throne. Then, he froze, everyone else, Trey, Cater, the armored guards in the room, they all were wide-eyed at what you had done. You had touched the queen when they were about to enter a fit of rage! You messed up–– Shit––
Riddle released a slow breath before placing his other hand atop your own. You felt such a massive flood of relief knowing you made the right move when he appeared much calmer as he nodded his head toward you, “Thank you, my dear. We shall discuss a proper punishment for that wretched feline later. For now…” Instantly his voice did a one-eighty as he turned his head toward the two imposing doors and shouted, “Bring him!!”
Nervously you looked over at Trey who stood tall and upright by Riddle’s side, and he remained oddly focused on the door. And that orange-haired guy, Cater, where did he go…?
“Hey…!”
Your eyes flittered over to you right where Cater was bent over a bit to whisper in your ear, while everyone else was distracted by the prisoner being escorted inside.
“I’m so happy that you’ve alive…! Don’t go dying on me so quickly, ‘kay? You wouldn’t leave me all alone here, would you?”
“Uh… no, of course not.” Huh. This Cater guy seemed pretty close to the king, or now you actually.
When you averted your eyes to the front, you listened to the clacking of armor as you watched more soldiers bring forward one of their own. Yet unlike all the others masked by metal, this soldier in shackles didn’t have a helmet. His messy red hair stuck out every which way, which made you wonder how on earth he even managed to fit that mess of hair under a helmet at all. His eyes were glued to the floor, and he wore a stiff frown as his shackles rattled with every step he took until he was right before the steps leading up to the red royal. When he refused to kneel, he was pushed down to his knees as Riddle eyed him with disdain.
Riddle wasted no time, because as soon as this prisoner was on his knees, he began his tirade of questions. “Ace Trappola, was it? We know you saw Ellis. Do you know where he is?”
The soldier’s head lolled forward a bit, his warm-colored eyes stopping on you for a moment as you gazed back at him. In a way, this Ace reminded you of… well, you. In shackles, forced to kneel, in front of a higher authority that was obviously not particularly fond of you, and likely with a sentence that could only mean your doom ahead of you. In a way, you did feel for him after hearing the basis of why he was arrested.
All was silent, only his shackles could be heard again as he slowly shrugged and snapped back, “I’d like to know that too! I mean, I’m sure wherever he is, he’s free as a bird. Meanwhile, me? Locked up for trying to do my job––!”
“Failing to do your only job.” Riddle corrected with a scoff. “I will ask you one more time. Where. Is. Ellis?”
Ace, still annoyed, continued. He must’ve been either stupid or brave for continuing. Although it might’ve been both as he mocked him. “Didn’t you hear me the first time? I. Don’t. Know.”
Under your hand you felt Riddle’s fingers dig into the armrest, his knuckles growing white as he raised his voice an octave, “What if I take off your head? Will you know then?”
“If you took my head, you wouldn’t get any answers after that.” He retorted with a slight eye roll.
Underneath your hand you could feel Roseheart’s anger growing the tighter he dug his nails into the chair. When you saw his face, you and everyone else could tell that he was fit to burst, no doubt ready to seal this soldier’s doom. Instantly you shot up from your throne, wanting to help save this prisoner. However, you very quickly began to regret it when all eyes darted over to your form, and you now became the center of attention. You couldn’t just sit back down, so with no other choice, you awkwardly cleared your throat and proceeded nervously, “My dearest, earlier when in our chambers I had an… um… epiphany! A vision! Y-Yes, I had a vision…! Ellis will slay your–– our, pet dragon jabberwocky.”
Instantly Riddle’s eyes widened. “He killed our jabberwocky?!”
“No…! No, at least not yet!”
Technically you weren’t lying. The story goes that the Red Queen had a powerful dragon, the jabberwocky, which was the main reason why she could keep such a grip on the kingdom with no rebellion ever coming close to dethroning her. At least, that is until Alice comes along and slays the jabberwocky. If you could somehow get rid of Alice, or Ellis in this case, and stay in Riddle Roseheart’s good graces, you would have it made! It was practically certain that the court back home thought you would’ve been beheaded already and your head would float in that river of blood for eternity. Yet here you were, alive, and if things went smoothly, you could live out your life in splendor here. Yes, you’d have to deal with the red royal, but if you could just stay in his good graces at all times, you would have a wonderfully lavish life! At this point you were just speeding things up, Ellis’ intentions of slaying the jabberwocky probably weren’t supposed to be revealed until much later. But, it would make a perfect excuse now.
As all eyes remained on you, you recounted your fake tale, “It all makes sense now…! In… In my vision I saw… A red-haired knight, um, clashing swords with a blonde man in blue and white!” Well, that part was a lie. There never was a red-haired knight in the stories. But this was an opportunity to potentially save Ace as well, and give him a chance to redeem himself in Riddle’s eyes. When you turned to face Ace, he was gazing at you with furrowed eyebrows, but you proceeded anyway as you gave your attention to Riddle now. “Riddle, I think–– I mean, I b-believe that knight is this one here in front of us.”
“Him?” The royal exclaimed in disbelief, looking at the soldier with something akin to disgust. To which the said soldier stuck out his tongue before a stern glare from Trey and Cater made Ace close his mouth. Riddle blinked, quiet for a moment before gazing up at you, his expression softening as he flipped over his hand so it held yours. “Is that what you were doing in our chambers alone? You were studying texts and had a vision, to save me?”
“Y…Yes…?”
His big gray eyes became fixated on you, as his voice became soft when he replied, “I’ve misjudged you, my dear… I believed you were being unfaithful, but you were working hard for me. How wrong I was.” The way he looked at you could only be described as adoringly.
It made you nervous, but you could only awkwardly smile in return. In order to ensure your own life of comfort here, you had to be sure to ruin the plot of the story. This meant that Ellis, the protagonist, could not win no matter what. Although it pained you to do such a thing, knowing that the outcome would most likely mean death by beheading him and his allies, you were more afraid of death than you were of the hero. For this, you would have to make sure the antagonist, Riddle Rosehearts in the role of the Red Queen, obtained a happy ending instead of a bad ending where he himself would be banished after being defeated by Ellis.
Clearing your throat, you hesitantly listed off the sequence of events in the way you recalled them playing out, “In my vision I saw… a blonde boy in blue, a purple feline beastmen, and a hatter, among other allies. Ellis will… will attempt to infiltrate the palace, and gain your favor under a disguise, and steal the ancient sword that can slay our Jabberwocky.” As all eyes and ears remained on you, you hesitated once again, mentally apologizing for what you were about to do. Maybe in the end, you might be able to plead with your supposed spouse to spare them. But deep down, you knew it was unlikely for the ruthless tyrant to even consider the idea. “Your Majesty, my darling, i-if I may make a suggestion…?”
Riddle nodded as he listened attentively, “Go on.”
Thankfully you had moved your hands away from his, and had them folded in your lap as you took a seat again so he couldn’t feel the way your fingers trembled with anxiety. “I would like to suggest we allow this knight before us to carry the sword, sheathed and hidden at all times. Let this be his redemption–– um, please, if you allow it, your Majesty.” Said knight gazed up in surprise. “It would be best to keep sir Ace in our sights. So might I ask that he and another capable knight become my guards?” Guards. Smart move, especially if things get hairy later. ���I-I’d also like to suggest an increase in your personal escorts too… my dear. So… so you’ll be safe. And, no one else besides those in this room, will know of what we spoke of today––”
“That way, Ellis will come here all on his own, and if he searches for the sword it will not be there.” Riddle finished, to which you nodded. He caught on quickly. “That’s brilliant!” You nearly breathed a sigh of relief as the red royal turned to glance at his two subordinates, Trey and Cater, only to gesture to the former prisoner and demand of them, “Unbind him, Trey. How can he wield a sword if his hands are bound?”
Trey slowly stepped forward as Ace was allowed to stand, and he unlocked the shackles around the knight. Ace continued to peer up at you, suddenly flashing a grateful smile. To which you only caught a glimpse of before being distracted by the redhead on the throne.
“Cater!” Cater stood upright immediately and awaited orders from the royal. “Find a suitable knight to escort my partner! I expect only the strongest and most obedient of knights! Am I understood?”
“You got it, Your Majesty! I already have a few in mind.”
“Wonderful. I will be interviewing them myself, as well as hand-picking my own escorts.” Riddle stood from his throne, tossing out more commands and orders to be followed by his remaining subordinate and the guards that had escorted the former prisoner. “You lot, I want an increase on the perimeter and another search crew to hunt down that wretched boy Ellis! Trey, go and fetch the sword. As for you, Ace Trappola,” Turning to face the knight, he warned, “You have one more chance. Should you fail a second time, there will be no do-overs. Your head will roll and your family shall pay the price for your mistakes.”
For a mere moment, disbelief and anger flashed on Ace’s face. Just as he opened his mouth, you spoke up, “T-Thank you, Your Majesty…! You really are so… merciful.” Better to be a pawn in this game than to be dead.
Riddle turned his attention to you before smiling, such a true and proud smile as he declared, “I have you to thank for this, for saving my kingdom and protecting me. Once we have Ellis and his companions captured, we will have a morning execution for him, with front row seats to the show." As his eyes drifted back to the onlookers, he commanded, "All of you shall speak nothing of what transpired in this room.”
A chorus of Yes, Your Majesty echoed in the chamber. The royal nodded, content for now, sending you one last smile before turning on his heels and walking off to elsewhere with Cater in tow. Leaving you alone with Trey and Ace as all other attendants and soldiers exited the throne room to go fulfill their duties.
Just for a moment, you wanted to talk to Ace alone. There was something about Trey, something about the way he watched you so calmly but there was something in those yellow eyes behind those glasses. Something that made it seem like he knew your secret, like he knew you were not really the king. You weren’t sure if it was your paranoia getting to you and your mind was just playing tricks on you, but you wanted to distance yourself as far away from him as possible. As the former prisoner made his way towards you, you cleared your throat and spoke quietly, but loud enough for Trey to hear. “Can–– M-May I have a word with you, sir Ace…? In private.”
“Sure, I’m free now.” He half joked, giving a bit of a grin which didn’t do much to ease your worries.
Trey stood beside the empty throne, watching as you glanced over at him and made a gesture for him to carry on with the assigned duty of retrieving the legendary sword, as dictated by His Majesty. To which he did, after he carefully observed the way you scurried behind velvet curtains with the knight not too far behind.
When you were finally out of sight with Ace, you noticed his raised eyebrow. Noticing this and the way he tapped his foot, you hesitated, unsure where you were even going with this or what you should do now. “You… You look like you have something to say.”
“Why’d you save me?” He demanded, all that cheerfulness from before gone now as things took a serious turn. Looking you up and down, he crossed his arms and continued, “You could’ve had your cute little hubby chop off my head like all the others before me. So, say it. That’s the reason you wanted to talk alone, isn’t it?”
He got you. Were you that obvious? You’d definitely have to work on being more discreet… Looking around twice to make sure no one was listening in, you huddled with him in a corner by the stained glass windows as you whispered hurriedly, in a panic, “O-Okay, whew, you’re gonna think I’m crazy, but… I’m not really the king, or queen, or whatever role I’m supposed to play here! Well, I guess I am now? Uhhh… h-here! It’s like this: I was put on trial in my homeworld, and as punishment I was banished. When I woke up, I was in Roseheart’s bed and he started talking to me like I was an unfaithful partner! I didn’t understand it, until I realized that it was all exactly like a story I read as a child. My punishment was to become the king that dies by being beheaded by his own wife! I… I got out of that somehow, and now, well…”
Ace was looking at you as if you were crazy, as if you had grown an extra head or something. His arms were crossed and he continued to stare at you. Should you have done that? Could you trust him? Well, he did owe you his life. If things really came down to it, you could have him arrested again and beheaded. Play the victim, call guards, and make up some lie that he attacked you, but you really really didn’t want it to go like that… Finally, after a few seconds, he shook his head and gave a weak chuckle, as if he couldn’t even believe it. “Hold on, let me get this straight: You’re not the royalty, but you’re a criminal from another world? Did you hit your head or something?”
You knew it. He wouldn’t believe you after all.
“I mean, they keep saying this Ellis loser came from another world too… So… Maybe your story doesn’t sound too crazy after all.” His scarlet eyes focused on the floor, as if considering something. “You really weren’t lying about knowing the future. And I thought you had gone mad or something! So I’m a hero in the story?”
You could only scratch your arm nervously, a bit regretful for having to crush his sudden burst of excitement. “Ahaha… not exactly? I made that part up…”
Disappointed at the revelation that he wasn’t some badass hero wielding a legendary sword, he scoffed, “Seriously? So why save me then?”
“Look…” You took a deep breath, hiding your fidgeting fingers in your palm as best as you could. “We were both supposed to die. At least my character was mentioned in the story, but you? Y-You weren’t even mentioned at all…! You were just a nameless faceless soldier, someone not even worth mentioning––”
Offended, he snapped back, “Faceless? Rude much!”
You quickly shushed him, internally freaking out at the prospect that you may have been overheard. But when nothing else and no one else stirred, you frowned and muttered, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, I’m just really nervous… I guess what I’m trying to get at here is… why don’t we both help each other survive?”
“What?” Shaking his head in disbelief. First this person called him someone not even worth mentioning then they ask for his help? Seriously, what was with them?
“T-Think about it…! I’m the second most powerful person in the entire kingdom…! I know what will happen! Kinda…”
“Well, I do want to live just as badly as you do…” It appeared he was still on the fence. Leaning his weight against the wall, he demanded, “But what do you mean you kinda know what will happen? I thought you, for sure, know.”
“Um…” Twiddling your fingers, you hesitantly explained the dilemma, “I did mention we were both supposed to die… And while that part isn’t a lie and the whole you being the destined one to stop Ellis was a lie, the other thing I didn’t lie about was Ellis gathering with his allies to infiltrate the palace and acquire the sword to kill the Jabberwocky. That will actually happen. S-So, since I told everyone that––”
“Let me guess, you told it early?”
Freezing, you gazed up at him and murmured, “H-How did you…?”
He shrugged, “I would’ve done the same thing if I were in your position. That means a higher chance of survival, right? Assuming that the blonde is the good guy and our King Rosehearts is the bad guy of the story. And considering all that, now you have no idea how the story will be affected, right?”
“R-Right…” Wait, now it just looked like you were useless! Immediately interjecting, you added, “But I can still make predictions based on what I know, like how things were originally supposed to play out…!”
“And you are still technically a royal…” Ace placed a finger to his chin, probably thinking about possible outcomes, upsides, and downsides if he agreed to work together. Finally, when his gaze flittered back to you and you stood upright, he questioned, “What if things don’t go how we–– you plan?”
You actually considered this briefly. If everything came crumbling down and all plans failed, there was but one last option to avoid any punishment. “Find Ellis and the White Queen… or is it the White King? I-It doesn’t matter…! The point is, the White Royal is very kind and merciful. If I go to them and explain that I am not really the Red King’s consort, then they’ll spare me…! If you come too and bring the sword to slay the Jabberwocky, that will assure them of our good intentions!”
“Isn’t that just running away? I don’t want to do that. And come on, the Whites? Are you for real? I thought us Reds were bad, but those pristine prissy little killjoys are no fun.”
For a second you wanted to strangle him. What kind of idiot would risk certain death by staying here if everything goes south, instead of fleeing to a good place that would grant you sanctuary? “It’s exactly running away, that’s the point…! The point is to stay alive!”
The redhead tilted his head to the side, his disappointed and serious behavior disappearing as he grinned. “What if I became king?”
Now it was your turn to look at him as if he were the insane one. Was this knight actually the mad hatter that had been driven insane by mercury poisoning?
“I do owe you one for saving my neck back there. And I won’t lie, I’ve dreamed about being king one day. And you, you’re actually way more ruthless than you seem at first. I thought you were a scared little wimp that always cowers behind their little hubby husband.” He mocked. Ouch. He thought you were a wimp…? “But turns out, I was so wrong about you. Sounds like you’re willing to do whatever it takes to live another day. Even turn on your own husband!”
He was whisper yelling, and it was starting to make you anxious that someone would overhear. So you whisper yelled back at a lower volume, “S-Stop that…! You know the truth, he’s not really my husband…”
That smirk made you think that he was going to respond in a louder voice, but thankfully he wasn’t that stupid. Just stupid enough to plan to overthrow the bloody Red King and talk about it in his own palace. But maybe you were stupid too, for talking about such delicate matters in the palace halls. Ace took your hands and performed a mock bow. “No running away, you got it? I’ll take that tiny red punk’s crown and become king, then I’ll keep you as a royal beside me, it’s the least I can do after what you did. We’ll both not only survive, but thrive. What do you say, Your Majesty~?”
✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧
When only a few days passed, you couldn’t get the thought of what Ace proposed out of your head. Death to Rosehearts, and long live Trappola. That was what he wanted. It was an idea, an option to consider should Riddle eventually become hostile towards you again. The proposal left to marinate in your mind as you spent the next day idling in the garden, doing nothing in particular. Since Ace was now your guard, you didn’t want Riddle to become paranoid or anyone to start spreading false rumors. So you’d spend your time in the garden, in public, where you could be seen so no lies were ever fabricated. The Red King was quite busy and so concentrated on the efforts to find Ellis, while his attendants kept close by.
You were chatting with Ace as he stood beside you while you sat by roses and sipped tea, listening as he spoke about himself and the latest rumors. Sometimes you replied, divulging bits of your own life when none of the gardeners or landscapers were close by. He was actually pretty laid-back and cheeky for a knight that served the Red King. Right as you were in the middle of telling him about your experience of being a prisoner, you zipped your mouth shut when a soldier appeared some distance away from the tall hedges.
It was a soldier with armor much like Ace’s, but Trappola’s was red and this one approaching was blue. Not to mention Ace never wore a helmet, but this blue one did wear his. Once the helmeted head turned towards you, he swiftly marched forward and stood straight in front of you. He bowed his head before kneeling in front of you and removing his helmet, revealing a young man, about Ace’s height, but with short blue hair and cyan colored eyes. He then announced himself, “Your Majesty, I am Deuce Spade! I was recommended to this position as your personal guard by sir Cater Diamond. It’s an honor to serve you! Here is my recommendation letter. I hope you’ll see me as suitable for this role.” Outstretching his hand without lifting his head yet, you unsurely accepted the rolled up scroll.
“O-Oh, um, thank you. I’m sure you’ll be fine… Stand up if you’d like, I don’t think the ground is comfortable.” Out of the corner of your eye as you unraveled the scroll, you could see Deuce obediently nod and stand as he held his helmet in his arm. Before you began reading, you could even see Ace frowning at this newcomer.
The scroll was much less like a recommendation letter and more like a haphazardly written medieval text message. It read: Hey, Your Majesty! Hope you like this newbie I sent over. He’s a littleee dumb but his heart’s in the right place and he’s surprisingly tough for a fresh recruit! Trust me, I saw him myself when he took on two older knights and won. You will be perfectly fine with this guy! He is literally perfect for a bodyguard. I’m kinda jealous. Anyways, meet me tomorrow night at the bridge between the palace’s northern towers! Come alone. –– From, Cater Diamond, always at your service!
That was strange… Come alone…? Not wanting there to be any evidence that you were meeting another man alone, that would definitely piss off Riddle, you tore the scroll to shreds and turned your attention to the blue knight who became the target of Ace’s pestering. They seemed quite familiar with each other, as Ace continued to poke at this Deuce guy while the blue knight attempted to remain calm and composed but was quite obviously growing annoyed.
“You? You’re the new knight? The guy who stupidly thought one of the nobles was an intruder and nearly attacked them on the spot? Ha! C’mon, I mean, we’re supposed to be the same rank, but even I’ve never made a mistake that bad!” Ace scoffed, grinning a much crueler smile, appearing more content with every passing second he noticed his companion was beginning to lose their cool. “You’re lucky to even be alive! King Riddle could’ve had your head for that, and he should’ve.” Deuce opened his mouth, likely about to snap back in reply, but Ace only cut him off. “Ah, ah, ah, I wouldn’t be so rash in front of Their Majesty, if I were you.”
“Ah––” Recalling where he was at and your presence was just feet in front of him, he resumed his uptight stance while averting his eyes to the ground respectfully, but he was still irked with the fellow soldier beside him.
“Ace, quit bothering him, will you?” You requested, sending the redhead a pleading glance to which he, surprisingly, listened to. “Will you go find Trey? He has something very important, and I need you to deliver it to me.”
The red knight sighed and took a step back, not bothering to argue or continue his efforts to make the blue knight explode with anger. However, he did hesitate at your request, but after a second he finally relented, “Whatever you say, Your Majesty.”
“Thank you.” Nodding, you watched Ace leave the small area of the garden before then turning your attention back to the matter at hand. The new knight. Poor guy, he looked a little nervous. “You can relax, it’s alright. I promise, I am certainly more nervous than you currently are. Can you, um… maybe tell me a bit about yourself?”
“Uh…” Deuce appeared at a loss for words, not expecting the sudden interview. Finally thinking up a response, he did the opposite of relaxing. He only appeared more tense as he stood rigidly and loudly declared, “I am a soldier part of the first platoon!! I began training after being recruited a few months ago, and I was raised by my mother!” That last part was unexpected, and the volume of his announcement made you jump in your seat. Maybe he didn’t entirely know what to say when you asked him about himself. “I am honored to be chosen as one of your personal guards! I will do everything in my power to protect you!!”
Ah… still too loud. You winced at this shouting introduction before nodding in understanding. Your reply was like a quiet squeak of a dorm mouse compared to his tone. “T-Thank you, Deuce, but you really don’t have to be so stiff… I assure you, I’m not like my… my husband.” God, that felt so weird to say. “I’m not exactly the type to take off heads, as you can tell, haha…”
Your awkward smile managed to finally get him to relax. His shoulders sagged down as he sighed, and he smiled. It was an odd smile, not an ugly or strange one, but genuine and somewhat kind, it was unexpected and placed you on edge.
Why was he looking at you like that…? It wasn’t like how Riddle would often stare at you with fondness, but rather, this one could be described as something akin to… admiration. “Is something wrong…?”
He bowed his head, giving an awkward chuckle but his smile remained. “Sorry, I know it’s rude to stare, but you’ve changed. A lot.”
“Changed…?” Your nerves were spiking. Did Deuce somehow know the king before? You gripped the armrest of your lawn chair, wondering if you would need an escape.
The blue knight seemed to sense your distress, because he quickly waved his hands and explained in a small panic, “W-Wait! It sounds weird when I say it like that. Uh–– you probably don’t remember me. But we met a few years ago during a parade in town that was thrown to celebrate your engagement to His Majesty, and during that parade I was racing some friends and nearly crashed my horse into the royal carriage! The King was furious and my mother was there too, apologizing for my stupid mistake, when he cut her off and declared that me AND my mom were gonna be sent to the guillotine as punishment! They took us to the palace, and I remember you quietly watching the whole time. But before they could drag us by the chains to the dungeon, you appeared and secretly pardoned us! Do you remember now?” His cyan eyes were sparkling with excitement as he pointed to his head of hair and added, “My hair was bleached back then!”
“O-Ohhhh, of course…!” Not of course. You didn’t remember a thing! That wasn’t you, that was the true king! Those weren’t your memories! But you could only continue to awkwardly smile as he let out a sigh of relief and a bright beaming smile took over his expression.
By now, all his previous tension was gone. He was in a much different mood, delighted as he continued to explain with such boundless energy, “I was really a mess back then. But that day changed my whole life! I was so scared for my mom, I thought she was going to die because of me. When you pardoned us and we went home, I decided to change. That’s when I decided I wanted to pay you back for saving our lives, and I wanted to help make ends meet. And the best way to do that was join the King’s army. I know it’s tough work, but I knew I’d get funds to send back home and I might get a chance to properly thank you! I’ve waited for this day to see you again for so long!”
“Is… Is that right…?”
Noticing your apprehensiveness, Deuce frowned lightly and changed the subject. “No one has seen you outside the palace in ages. Everyone is worried! People are starting to say you’re being kept inside because of, well… every Red citizen knows you’re the favorite royal. So when you stopped appearing in public…”
Wait, just a moment. The king was beloved? Actually, that wasn’t too hard to believe when the only competition alive was the hot-tempered queen. It might not even be too far-fetched to believe that the king once spared people often behind the back of their spouse. At least based on Deuce’s story, because why else would the former king have any reason to spare the lives of what were, back then, simple rabble, if not due to the kindness in his heart?
The blue knight continued with another short story, “On your weekly outings, my mom and I used to try and wave at you from the crowd. But we never got noticed. And they never let us close either…”
They must’ve been truly grateful to the king, now you, and it only makes sense after what happened.
“Oh–– sorry, I just keep going about myself! That other guy is taking a little long…” Turning his gaze over to the exit between two hedges, exactly where the red knight had gone, he muttered, “Seriously, what’s taking him so long? Isn’t he supposed to be your guard? Don’t worry, Your Majesty, I’ll bring him back for you!”
“Ah, wait––” Too late. He was gone. Complaining about Ace leaving and then leaving himself? It was clear that Cater was right, Deuce wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed but he had spirit. At the very least, you felt safe with him around. Due to the obligation he felt toward the king, he would no doubt be a great help. In the quiet of the garden, you sipped your tea and listened to the buzz of bees traveling from rose to rose, flowers which gave off a pleasant aroma in the slow breeze. It was relaxing, peaceful for a moment, not like every other waking hour as you fear your true identity will be discovered or even last night you lay awake in bed fearing the moment your spouse would come to bed, yet he was so busy that he never did, so you lay awake with major anxiety practically all night.
“Your Majesty, forgive me for the intrusion.” The sudden voice startled you, shattering your tranquility, but you quickly regained your composure upon realizing it was just a servant from the kitchen. One arm was neatly folded behind their back, and the other held up a tray of delicious pastries. “I’ve brought you extra, should you desire any.”
“Ah… haha…” Your sigh turned to a nervous laugh as you managed to stammer out a polite, “T-Thank you.” When they bowed their head and began to make their leave to the pathway behind your seat, you turned your attention back to the fresh baked goods just waiting to be devoured. Plucking up one of the smaller delicacies to take a bite––
“Your Majesty!!!”
CLACK!
Dropping the pastry, you whipped your head around only to be met face-to-face with the sharp end of a dagger. The only thing stopping that knife from plunging into your flesh, was the equally sharp end of a spade-shaped spear that had crossed with it and deflected it. The servant was the culprit, having replaced the tray of desserts for a weapon meant for slaughtering. And they nearly had killed you, had it not been for the blue knight.
Horrified, you fell out of your chair, back, away from the two. Your terror only grew when with one swift motion, Deuce used his spear to slash the face of the attacker. They fell back, you didn’t know if the servant was alive or dead, if they weren’t dead they certainly would be soon. But you did see red. Red, red, red, why was red everywhere in this world? You had nearly died, again. Your heart felt like it was racing as you saw the red knight reappear and tackle your attacker, the struggle hidden behind the lawn chair and table cloth. There was shouting, you think, but the banging of your heart against your rib cage was too deafening.
All you could make out was the presence that had rushed to your side. They stuck close by but never quite touched you, their hands ghosting over your side. There was red. Red on his hands, red on his blue armor, a small dash of red against his cheek. You were growing lightheaded, your head hurt. You must’ve peered up a bit, because you could see Deuce looking frantic and as your vision became spotty, you saw his mouth moving, but you couldn’t hear a word he spoke.
✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧
When you awoke, it was a bit of a rude awakening. You could hear shouting, behind a door. As you slowly sat up, feeling the familiar softness of the king-sized bed belonging to the Red King himself, you practically melted into the silk sheets. The shouting was muffled behind the heavy double doors, but you could easily distinguish the voice as belonging to Riddle. And just as you could tell who it was, you could clearly make out what he was saying. The thickness of the door was not enough to quiet his tone, even from here.
“I want the executioner here now!!! The crime of attempted regicide against my consort is unforgivable!! It is the highest form of treason!! Make it a public execution in precisely one hour! I want all those that dare to even think about harming my companion to understand what fate will await them should they dream to even attempt it! Question that blasted assassin, and I want to know who sent them so that I may punish them in a matter even worse than a beheading!!!”
Wow, he sounded pissed. It was kinda scary. Even though you couldn’t see him, you just picture his face twisted into pure rage, no doubt he was about ready to pop a blood vessel. As you began to recall what happened, you shuddered, both because of recalling the fear you felt at the moment and how you imagined what pains the assassin would face at Riddle’s hands.
Clink!
Flinching, you fearfully looked to the side, half expecting another assassin to appear out of nowhere and take revenge on you for their fallen compatriot. However, much to your relief, or not, it was only the King’s familiar subordinate, Trey. He readjusted his glasses over the bridge of his nose, giving you a gentle smile as he finished placing down a glass of water by your bedside. “It’s alright, there’s no need to look so frightened. You’re safe now. Everything is being dealt with, as you can, uh, probably tell.”
Right, you could still hear the commotion of Riddle’s bellowing commands along with the various rushed footsteps of servants and soldiers running about to fulfill their given tasks. It sounded like things were really getting hectic.
Lowering himself onto a wooden seat placed at your bedside, his yellow eyes flitted over to you, peering at you through the glass. “Normally I would let you rest and I would take on the responsibilities from here on out, but I have to tell you…”
You gripped the glass cup, feeling that oh-so-familiar anxiety creep up your neck. Trey had to tell you what…? Was something wrong? Did the assassin hurt Ace or Deuce? Were they okay? Did it have something to do with Ellis or the White Royal? Did Ellis successfully infiltrate the palace and steal the legendary sword? Has the Jabberwocky been slayed while you were unconscious? Or worse, had Riddle discovered you were really a big fat liar this entire time? Oh god–– what sort of unspeakable torture would he inflict upon you for this? Just yesterday at dinner, you saw him declare that a very young servant of the kitchen staff was to be beheaded because they stole a single tart! You didn’t want to die––
“It’s good news actually, so you don’t have to look so pale.” You resisted the urge to sigh–– wait, Trey was surprisingly observant. Or maybe you were still failing to better conceal your reactions and emotions, because he could tell you were obviously distraught. “Based on the intel you’ve given His Majesty, soldiers were able to capture a hatter, twins, a white rabbit beastman, and… a purple cat beastman. All working with Ellis, and loyal to the White Kingdom. There isn’t any sign of Ellis though.”
No Ellis yet… The fact that the protagonist was out there somewhere and still had a small chance to succeed, slimmed by the fact that his allies were now imprisoned, but still a chance, made you uneasy. This place was really starting to drive you mad… You’d have to readjust your escape plan and make a backup if it came to it…
“Your Majesty, now that I have the opportunity to talk with you in private, I’d like to ask you something.”
Tapping your fingers against the half-filled glass, you nodded for him to continue. “Okay… I’m listening.” The news was already said, so that placed you at ease. Slowly you raised the glass to your lips, taking a sip of the cold water that parched your dry throat. You didn’t realize you were absolutely parched until right now.
“Earlier, I said normally I wouldn’t tell you the news because I know you don’t do well under stress. But this time was different. This time, you initiated the action. So, I just wanted to know, who are you?”
You froze, nearly choking on the water you forced down. “W-What…?”
Folding his hands together, he stayed on his seat, but again, those eyes of his just watched you. That gentle smile he wore often, was no longer present. He looked serious, which made you even more tense! He spoke calmly, quietly, but that did nothing for your spiking nerves. “Their Majesty that I know, wouldn’t save Riddle even if they had the power to do it. They were waiting for a chance to run away to the White Kingdom, because they had fallen in love with someone else. And the more I look at you, the more I’m realizing that you aren’t them.”
Shit, shit, shit–– you seriously underestimated him. Of course he’s one of the king’s right hand men for a reason! Your hands were shaking uncontrollably. So much so that you dropped the glass, the cup rolling onto the sheets and drenching the blanket as you pleaded, “P-Please, don’t tell Riddle…! You’re right, I-I’m not His Majesty’s consort, but I can explain…! Just, please, please, I’m begging you, don’t tell him the truth! I… I’ll tell you everything you need to know! Please, I don’t want to go like this…!”
“H-Hey, hey, I wasn’t going to tell him!” Caught off guard, he picked a box of tissues from the nightstand and moved it in front of you. He spoke softly, gentler this time, “You’re not them, but you really do act like them sometimes… Here, use these tissues to wipe your tears. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
Tears…? Reaching up to your face, you gasped when you felt your cheeks damp and droplets dripping down from your eyes. You were crying, and you hadn’t even noticed it. Fear had been the cause of these waterworks. As you rubbed your eyes to clear your vision, once you removed your hands, you saw Trey extending a tissue to you as his hand rested on the small of your back. “I… I’m sorry, I overreacted…”
“No, I should’ve approached you more carefully.”
Dabbing away your tears with the tissue, you sniffled, still finding it hard to meet his concerned gaze, so you averted your eyes down to the wet sheets and now empty glass in your lap. Where do you even begin?
Appearing to sense your hesitance and fear, his eyebrows furrowed with worry as he assured, “Take your time. I’d like to know everything, but go slowly if you need to.”
Despite knowing you didn’t belong, he still treated you so carefully. Maybe it was foolish to believe the right-hand man of the bloody Red King, but this was the kindest anyone had been to you since before your banishment. Ever since you were arrested, everyone had eyed you with suspicion, it felt like that continued into this world as most people were stepping on thin ice around you, and even you would be on your toes around certain people like King Rosehearts and his subordinates. But this time, it felt like you were truly being heard, even if it was a trap, something which you didn’t want to believe. So you told him everything about your story, but not this story. Afterall, you still needed leverage so that they wouldn’t kill you.
There was something about Trey that made him easier to talk to, easier than the red knight Ace you’ve trusted with your secrets, and easier than Deuce who had just saved your life. Trey listened attentively, never interrupting you, never looking away, keeping a hand over yours. Occasionally he nodded or hummed, providing reassurance that he was still listening to you recount your tale. Once you were done, and only then, did he speak.
The king’s right-hand man let out a sharp exhale as he rubbed his head, still attempting to process all the details. You were still trying to process everything that was going on.
“Everything makes sense now… but, I never thought you were bad. When you came out of that room with Riddle, when he was supposed to kill you, I thought something was off but I couldn’t put my finger on it. But when you stood up as His Majesty was questioning the soldier, that’s when I realized you weren’t the same royal from before. And then I understood that you weren’t a person with bad intentions. If you do really hold knowledge on our future, you could’ve usurped power for yourself and gotten rid of the King. But you didn’t.”
He smiled at you, not a malicious or cruel one, but a soft kind that placated a bit of your jumpy nerves.
“I owe Riddle a lot, so all I ask is that you tell him the truth soon and make him happy. Because you do make him happy. I’ve never seen him smile so much as he does when he thinks of you, even when you aren’t around. Of course, you don’t see it. You’ve made him much happier than his previous consort ever could.”
Frankly, you were at a loss for words. Yes, your original plan was to get Riddle Roseheart his victory and remain on his good side, but you didn’t think you’d actually get this far! Now at the prospect of having to permanently stay playing the role of his spouse, even if you survived telling him the truth, well… now you weren’t sure what to do. Not to mention, you did feel a little guilty because while Trey caught you, he didn’t entirely understand that you were only doing this to survive. It wasn’t for him, it wasn’t for the kingdom, it wasn’t for Riddle, it was for yourself. “And you… you really aren’t mad…?”
“Well… I do feel a little betrayed. But now, I think I’m starting to understand you and what you’ve been doing. So I’m not hurt. I’ll just continue with my job, serving His Majesty and serving you.” Removing his hand from yours, he stood up and picked up the glass you had dropped onto the sheets now damp with water. “Come on, let me get these sheets changed for you.”
For a while, it was just you and Trey, talking quietly about things like yourself, and he even revealed details about himself and his life to put you at ease. Trey was truly a comforting figure, and it became evident by more than just his words, it was obvious by his actions as well. Servants brought sweetened goods and various drinks, some of which he claimed to make with his own two hands. How a busy subordinate of the king even had time to bake, you have no idea. Not too long after, presumably after he sent out soldiers, servants, and put the executioner to work, Riddle Rosehearts entered the room, making a show to throw the doors open as he commanded sternly,
“Leave us, Trey.”
When the king’s gaze traveled over to you, you froze on the small chair you were currently seated in. At that moment, you just wanted to shrink in on yourself, all the little confidence you had built on the foundation of Trey’s presence, crumbled the instant he obediently nodded his head and hesitantly left the room. You felt frozen in fear as soon as the king appeared in your line of vision, but all you could see was heeled shoes against the tiled floors, since you kept your gaze down. That’s when the questions that spurred your anxiety came to fruition. Had he somehow heard the conversation between you and Trey? Did he know too about your true identity? Had he realized it? Was he growing bored of you or becoming jealous once again? How would you get out of this one––?
“My dear, I apologize for not being able to see you sooner. There were matters that needed to be dealt with.” His hand went to your chin, and he forced you to look up at him, carefully though, as he used his fingers to prop up your head. What consoled you, pacifying your fears, was the look in his eyes. Those eyes were filled with sorrow and possibly… dread? “Are you alright? Do you need anything? Anything at all?”
“N-No, I’m alright––” You were just more alarmed and concerned as to why he was acting this way.
Using his other hand, he took your palm, quietly inspecting you for injury. It seemed something was on his mind, because his eyebrows furrowed together and he scowled, seething quietly, “I can’t believe the moment we are getting along, just when I’m receiving your love, that foolish assassin tried to take you away from me.” His hold on your hand tightened. “How dare they? How dare they?! Do they not understand that all I want is to be loved, and when I finally have it with you, they try to–– Forget it. They will become an example of what happens to those who dare attempt to harm you.” Looking down at you, his gaze softened as he spoke in a much gentler loving tone, “My dear, the public execution of the criminal will be in a few moments. Would you like to go and spectate from above?”
“Umm… n-no, thank you.” There was no way you wanted to watch someone be beheaded. Especially knowing that they were there because of you, even if they had attempted to kill you. You didn’t need the very vivid image of their head dropping and rolling on the ground, with their lifeless eyes still open, to haunt your dreams at night.
“Very well.” Taking a seat beside you, he sat upright and proper as he continued to hold your hand. “And your knights? Shall we have them beheaded as well for failing to apprehend the suspect quickly and for being so idiotic as to leave you alone?”
“W-What? No!” Ace and Deuce, beheaded for failing to protect you? You turned to the king, pleading, “Please… my darling, don’t punish them. Afterall, they saved me in the end, so please… I… I commanded them to go! I did…! I had sent them to retrieve the sword and a duplicate I had Trey commission the royal blacksmith to make. That way, s-should Ellis and his allies manage to retrieve the sword, they might get the useless duplicate instead…! S-So you see, it’s really all my fault.”
For a while Riddle was silent and you feared that he would place you on the ballot of today’s executions. But then the unexpected happened. Slowly, he reached forward, awkwardly wrapping his arms around your figure and resting his head over your shoulder. His voice was quiet, hushed, “Taking all these steps to ensure my victory and continuous rein… you have truly changed.” Tightening his hold, he pressed himself against you, forgetting all the formalities and etiquette that a king should have. His warm breath fanned your ear as he whispered a promise, “For you, I will not stop until our rule is absolute. I will control the whole realm, and shape it into a wonderland that you desire.”
When he pressed a soft kiss against your cheek, you felt your face heat up. You sat rigidly, arms awkwardly wrapped around his waist as he moved himself to sit upon your lap as if it were his very own throne. As he leaned closer, you noticed his cheeks were pink, quickly turning red, as he leaned his forehead against yours so you could look each other in the eye.
In your childhood you read about Alice’s adventures in Wonderland with the odd Tweedle twins that spoke much like in riddles, the mischievous yet mysterious grinning Cheshire cat, the wondrous Mad Hatter who was insane, and an abundance of others in the colorful cast of characters. Yet no matter how often you read the tales, it always told of a cruel hot-tempered Queen with no heart. And yet, here was Riddle, in the role of the Red Queen, flustered yet affectionate as he continued to sit on your lap and wrap his arms around your neck.
Those big gray eyes continued to gaze at you, never looking away, which caused you to immediately avert your gaze. That is until he tapped your chin lightly, chiding,
“Don’t look away, darling. I demand your attention.”
“A-As you say, my dear…” Slowly you focused your gaze back on him, by now you were sweating bullets. How did you end up this close to the bloody Red King? It seemed like he was starved of love, he craved it so desperately and wanted it all for himself, that he nearly killed you the moment you first met him, out of pure envy. Just as he was leaning in to place a second kiss, this time on the lips, you inquired in the tiniest squeak, “Is it not better to be feared than loved…?”
Riddle stopped just an inch away, processing your words as he eyed your nervous expression. “I wasn’t certain anymore, but now I am.” He lingered in place, taking the time to explain his answer, “By the masses, it is far better to be feared than loved. They can be unruly, rebellious, disorderly. Yet it is fear that never fails, it tames and controls those that are even insusceptible by love.” A shiver ran down your spine as his fingers played with the small locks of hair behind your neck. He shifted closer, “But when it comes to you, I must change my approach. Love is the most favorable option, because I want your true love. Not a forced type of affection. Do you understand, my dear?”
You gulped, growing more abashed with every passing moment as Riddle remained so close. “Y-Yes, I understand…”
“Just as you proved to me that you desire my affection, I shall prove to you that I truly love you.”
That night you fell asleep in Riddle’s arms, laying on the plush king size mattress you two were supposed to share every night. Your face was red, both from embarrassment and partly due to the bit of lipstick he wore now marking the spots on your face where he had kissed you. At first it was nearly impossible to sleep, you stayed awake, staring at the ceiling, as the bloody Red King peacefully slept beside you with his arms around you. It was only until exhaustion finally knocked you out, forcing you to close your eyes and rest a few hours. Only then as you drifted off to sleep while gazing at Roseheart’s content sleeping face, did you realize how much of a mess this plot has become.
✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧
In the morning, you groggily awoke to Riddle, already changed and prepared for the day, leaning over to adjust the blankets around you and wish you a good day before his leave. Not too long later, once you got up and prepared for the day, as soon as you opened your doors, you were greeted by two particularly distraught knights, Ace and Deuce. The sudden quiet you had was immediately shattered as the two began speaking, almost shouting, rapidly as if babbling, you couldn’t understand a word they were saying due to how fast they were talking and how they spoke over each other. How long had they been waiting outside your door? Just barely you could distinguish the occasional apology, mixed in with exclamations and bickering against one another over who the fault lay on.
This was going to be a long day… and a long day it was. As you were escorted to breakfast by your two protective knights, you passed by a window where outside you could see a courtyard. Your eyes wandered to the scene behind the glass, and down below you could see a balcony where your spouse was seated, overlooking the courtyard below where a crowd gathered. In the center, your heart dropped when you saw the executioner standing over a heavy basket where a colorful hat poked out of, beside a pair of white rabbit ears, and brown rabbit ears. There was red seeping out of the basket, and the sight immediately caused you to turn your head away. The mad hatter, white rabbit, and march hare, had all been executed. But there were no cat ears, so the cheshire cat must’ve been spared. You lost your appetite for breakfast.
In the middle of the day, after giving Ace and Deuce the swords, you left it up to them to see if they could tell the difference between the two blades. Which was the real artifact of legends and which was the duplicate? They couldn’t figure it out. You then accompanied Trey to the kitchen as he was commanded by the king to make something delicious for dessert. Turns out, Trey was only usually commanded to drop his usual responsibilities and bake when the king was in a good mood. You didn’t know what was worse, was Riddle in a good mood because of the smooch you hesitantly gave him last night or was it because he had put his enemies to death?
For dinner, you ate beside Riddle, unnerved as he watched you with contentment the entire time. Throughout the dinner, you managed to distract him from staring by carefully sharing bits of information that could provide useful. To defend himself from the might of the Jabberwocky, Ellis would need the legendary armor currently in the White Kingdom. The Bandersnatch, another powerful creature under Roseheart’s command, can be tamed by Ellis and convinced to change sides. Ellis may very well retreat to the White Kingdom for help. All of which he noted down carefully.
And finally, later that evening, before Riddle could arrive for bed, you snuck past your two dutiful knights that were changing shifts with other soldiers that would stand guard beside your room. You had a bit of time, as they rotated often, and when they rotated to patrol the halls and come back, was the opportune time to sneak right back in. Through everything that happened and how hectic it became, you had nearly forgotten that Cater extended an invitation to meet you in private.
It had only been a few days, but by how often Ace, Deuce, and Trey led you through the palace, you were beginning to get a rough understanding of the layout and vague memory of the routes. So it didn’t take you very long to reach the northern towers near where the monstrous Jubjub Bird, what you learned was Riddle’s giant pet bird of prey, resided at the highest point. It really was no wonder Rosehearts had such an iron grip on the kingdom, with beasts like the Jubjub Bird, Bandersnatch, and Jabberwocky at his command, no one would be so foolish as to question him.
Thankfully, Riddle had offhandedly mentioned that the Jubjub bird spent most nights in its cage, and was only freed during the day to bring back rebels to the gallows. So you weren’t too fearful of seeing the giant bird of prey at the windows. What did make your heart stop, was when a hand covered your mouth, and you were suddenly pulled into a room. You kicked wildly, your screams muffled against their mouth––
“Wait, wait, calm down, it’s just me! It’s me! Look! It’s your Cay!”
The rapid pace of your rising and falling chest slowed and you stopped screaming as your eyes readjusted to the dim lighting of the room. In front of you, just inches away from your face, you could make out familiar downturned green eyes and orange hair. When you finally went quiet, he removed his hand away from your mouth.
“You’ve always been super jumpy, Your Majesty, but not like that! Didn’t you recognize me?” He pouted, whining, “I’m a little hurt. I thought I was your favorite!”
“W-Why on earth would I––!” You stopped, realizing his hair was down.
It wasn’t tied up like before, and he wasn’t wearing all the intricacies of his outfit which you saw him in prior. In fact, he was very very casually dressed, and that was putting it lightly. All he wore were his dress pants and the last layer that was the dress shirt that had only the lowest buttons together, so as he leaned closer his shirt moved as well, exposing his torso. Keep it together! You weren’t like some Victorian maiden who fainted at the mere sight of an exposed ankle! By the dim candlelight you could piece together that you were in a spare bedroom, and the dots began to connect in your head.
Cater tilted his head, his longer orange locks shifting with his movement as he murmured quietly, “What’s wrong, Your Majesty? Are you not in the mood tonight? I know you’ve been reallyyy busy lately, with so much going on and all. But… I just really wanted to see you.” Too close, he was leaning too close! “I have to admit, I’m a little jealous of all the time you’re spending with His Majesty.”
Wait. The loose layers he had on, the dim candlelight, the bed, the suspicious hour of meeting, Cater’s sweet talking–– oh my god. The former consort in your position really had cheated on the Red Royal, and they did it with Cater! It made your cheeks burn, but wait–– that wasn’t you! You had nothing to be ashamed of! But things would look really bad if you were caught like this with one of the king’s closest subordinates!
“I-I’m afraid you’ve gotten it wrong––” Was it a good idea to tell him the truth? Afterall, his equal Trey knew, and you would be telling Riddle sooner rather than later, as you didn’t want the lie to fester into something ugly, thus lessening your already slim chances of survival by admitting the truth to the king. How did the former king even get with one of the queen’s subordinates? “You… You see, I’m not––”
“Really the royal consort?” He finished your sentence, giving a sort of cheeky smile at your dumbfounded expression. Straightening his posture, he hummed, “Yeah, I know, it’s pretty obvious you know! And that face you’re making right now, is so cute. It totally confirms it.”
It was obvious? Your stomach dropped at the potential prospect that Riddle already knew. But wait, if he really knew, then why hadn’t he said anything–– or were you getting too hopeful that he wouldn’t want to slaughter you as soon as the truth reaches him? It was probably safest to assume that he didn’t know at the moment. Now, as for Cater, you nervously eyed him, grimacing as he gave you a playful wink. “If you know I’m not them, why would you t-try to initiate…” You gestured to him and the bedroom. “––this?”
“Just testing you, that's all. Had to make sure I was right, after all. I didn’t really plan to do anything, unless you wanted to risk it.” As you immediately shook your head, he laughed and proceeded to button up his dress shirt and shrug on a coat. “I’m kidding! Joking. There’s no real reason to get all embarrassed. I just wanted to mess with you a teensy bit.”
Averting your gaze down as he readjusted his attire, you muttered quietly, “Did you and the person before me really…?”
“Hmm…” He paused, as if considering whether he should answer or not. Finally, he shrugged, “I mean, since you are kinda them in a way, I should probably tell you? As long as you promise not to tell His Majesty Riddle about all this, I promise not to tell about your dirty little secret, you know, being an imposter and all! Oh, that, and your little chit-chatwith Ace.”
Your blood ran cold. Cater had heard that? Even the part where Ace plotted to take the throne for himself? The part about you running away? Pursing your lips, feeling a bead of sweat run down the side of your head. If that got out, it would be game over. Your life would truly end, and all Cater had to do was whisper in His Majesty’s ear. But you now had dirt on him too. The fact that he knowingly slept with the bloody Red King’s consort, and kept it secret. It felt like with these secrets, you were both holding a knife to each other’s neck, figuratively speaking. “Something tells me you really did…”
“I did. But it was a one night-stand. They were a scaredy-cat, even more than you. They said they needed someone else’s comfort beside the exact person they feared the most in the world, which is why they came to me.” That easygoing smile appeared back on his face. “But you know, I wasn’t lying when I said you were cute. It’s just a real shame you’re already Riddle’s, or else I would’ve definitely snatched you up for myself!” Taking a seat at the desk, he propped his head up with both hands and continued, “Sooo, are you going to tell me who you really are? You will, won’t you? Let’s get to know each other a little bit longer before you go, ‘kay~?”
With not much of a choice left, you sighed and recounted your story once more. You told him why you ended up here in the first place, what was supposed to happen to you, how you managed to survive, and how you knew what was supposed to happen. He listened, only occasionally chiding in with a witty remark or comment.
Only once you finished your story, he whistled and spoke, “Everything makes sense! You’ve really been through the wringer, huh? Riddle must be so hard on you! But I’m not.” Then he brightened up, as if remembering something, “Oh! And Riddle won’t be getting any rest tonight, so you can stay with me as long as you want tonight!”
Perplexed by his words, you furrowed your eyebrows and gazed up at the cheery subordinate. You were kinda afraid to even ask what he meant by that. “What… What do you mean…?”
“I mean that His Majesty is gonna be way too anxious to go to sleep anytime soon! Ah–– right, you don’t know.”
Don’t know what? It felt like he was teasing you with this information you didn’t have. You would’ve said it made you nervous, but on the contrary, it puts you a bit at ease knowing that Riddle won’t stumble to bed only to find it empty and go mad. But still, you didn’t like the way Cater was messing with you. It didn’t feel like he meant any ill will, but not knowing what would happen and not having control placed you on edge. A single finger of his tapped your head as he answered,
“Ellis’ beheading–– Oh, but not yet! Using your intel, Riddle managed to pinpoint the location of a forest where that little blonde must be hiding in, also partially thanks to the Jubjub Bird’s latest catch who was a rebel that cracked like a nut when the king questioned him! And this evening after dinner, he sent out multiple soldiers to go hunt Ellis down! It’s really only a matter of time before they drag Ellis back in shackles. You see, Riddle’s just waiting impatiently for news back. So that’s why!”
In the distance, outside, you heard a trumpet. On impulse, you raced to the window, followed by the curious Cater, as you both stuck your faces against the cold glass to get a peek at the ground below where the noise had come from. At the towering palace gates, you could make out the small moving figures of soldiers crossing the river of blood and heads. They held up their sharpened spears and blades, torches of fire to light the way, and… in the midst of it all was a tall young man with blonde hair and a coat of baby blue, locked and restrained in shackles, dragged forward along the path.
“I… I have to go––”
Astonished at the speed you took off in making a direct beeline for the door, he blinked and exclaimed, “Wait! You’re not even gonna let me walk you back?”
No, there were far more important things on your mind. Without wanting to waste a single second, you rushed back, silently skittering and speed walking through the halls as quiet as a mouse. You avoided all the guards on patrol as you weaved from hallway to hallway, taking multiple twists and turns that were as confusing as the hedge maze in the king’s beloved garden. It seemed like an eternity before you finally snuck back into your room, where you were relieved to see the room empty. No angry king awaiting your return.
So you jumped into bed, nestling yourself into the make-believe safety the comfortable sheets provided you. As if these blankets could protect you from everything in the world, much like how your mind liked to believe the warmth protected you from the boogey-man lurking in the shadows. It was a childish thought, but a persistent one that refused to leave your mind. The seconds you counted not with the tick-tock of the clock, but the thump-thump of your beating heart that filled your ears as you lay silent and still. Thump, thump, thump, your heart beat, as your mind wandered to imagine whatever horrible fate would shortly greet Ellis, if it hadn’t already. A life in exchange for a life, the innocent blue boy in exchange for you who had done wrong before. Yes, it was wrong. So so wrong, and it ate at you inside, but you didn’t want to die. You didn’t want to.
And it scared you, knowing you’d have to tell Riddle the truth soon. Very soon. If he found out by his subordinates telling him the truth, you may very well be right behind the blonde boy waiting your turn at the guillotine. If you told him, he could very well decide to kill you anyways. Even if he had proclaimed his obsessive bloody love for you, would that matter? Riddle believes he loves the royal consort, a role you’ve been playing. It wasn’t truly you. Nothing would stop him from yelling, off with their head! Right then and there.
Well, there was one way to save your head if things got ugly… Ace was still in your corner, and if you could possibly convince Deuce to join you, you’d have both knights, one of which had the real sword of legends. If they could just slay the Jabberwocky, that would be enough for the White Kingdom to interfere. The only thing preventing Riddle Roseheart’s fall, was that damned Jabberwocky––
THUMP!
“My dear!!!”
The door slammed open, followed by a screech in that familiar voice you’ve been dreading. You froze, resisting the urge to scream and beg for forgiveness. Your heart dropped, and you just wanted to perish in your cocoon of cloth and fabrics. By now it felt like your heart had grown louder, pounding in your ears so loud that when you hesitantly lowered the sheet down over your face so you could see. What you saw made your heart stop, it felt like your soul left your body when you saw Riddle leaning over you with a huge battle ax in hand.
The ax could easily sever a whole appendage, even a head, in one fell swoop. It was recently sharpened, its metallic material and the red rubies encrusted into the weapon both glimmered in the light. It was a huge weapon, but despite its size, Riddle appeared to carry it with ease. Finally, when he dropped the weapon beside you and practically flung all his weight on you, did you snap out of your fear-induced trance.
“We did it…! We found Ellis, and it’s all thanks to you!” By now he was on top of you, normally he would’ve realized quickly and scrambled to get off while composing himself. But at the moment, he was far too eager for that. Instead, he grabbed your head with both hands on your cheeks, and on his face was the loveliest smile. The prettiest smile that was so large it reached his rosy cheeks, and joy was evident in those big eyes. “We have that wretched boy in the dungeons right now!”
“T-That’s great…!” Nervously you glanced down at the ax, “And that…?”
Waving it off, he replied without so much of a second thought, “Oh, it’s not for you. It’s for Ellis. I’ll be beheading him myself, no guillotine or executioner needed.”
Not for you… Carefully you inhaled shakily, feeling your hands begin to tremble. If there was a time to tell Rosehearts, it would be now when he’s at his happiest and most merciful. Yet, telling the truth did nothing to help you back home. So why would it help you here? You were so scared, so nervous–– if Riddle reacts explosively, he could just grab that ax and end you here or he could use his arms wrapped around your neck to suffocate you. There were so many countless ways this could end, and you could only think about the negative outcomes. Slowly you reached for his hands over your face, removing them so they were in between the two of you. His confusion did not go unnoticed. “M-My… No… Riddle, I have something to tell you…”
You took notice of the way his eyebrow raised, and his smile shifted to a sort of concerned frown. Oh, how you dreaded that it may soon become the ugliest scowl known to man.
“I-I’m… I’m……” Why was it hard to say? You couldn’t force out the words. Slowly shaking your head, you began to regret coming this far. Why couldn’t you have just run with your knights when you had the chance a few minutes ago? “… not–– not who you think I am…”
Squeezing your eyes shut, you anticipated something. A slap, a punch, the pain from the ax being brought down upon you for your sins–– something terrible! Not gentle hands patting down your head. “Is that all?” He giggled, to which you hesitantly opened your eyes, petrified at his expression of adoration. Placing a finger at your chin, he tilted your head up as he hummed, yet there was a bit of a dark look in his eyes as he spoke.
“Did you believe I wouldn’t notice that my own spouse was replaced? My former partner wouldn’t lift a finger to protect me, yet you did. So, upon my realization, I thought to myself: perhaps I should spare them and see how else they serve me. And serve you did. In ways that were incomprehensible, your short time here surpassed all efforts ever made to hunt down our dear Ellis. It took some prying out of my subordinates you’ve charmed to learn what secrets you’ve uncovered to them. But, I believe I have the whole picture painted.”
Using his thumbs, he rubbed your cheek and his fingers massaged your temple.
“A criminal from another word, sent here in exile to receive a gruesome death as their punishment. Yet they survive, because they recognize that this world is much like a story from their youth. So they trick, lie, and act, all to save their life, even risking the demise of others just for their own salvation. And in the process, not only win the hearts of some cards, but also the heart of the land’s monarch. Do I have that right?”
When his gaze became focused on you and he leaned closer, you nodded, feeling the pace of your rising and falling chest begin to increase rapidly. In response, Riddle placed a hand over your chest, where your heart would be, and continued in a quiet tone,
“Don’t panic. I’m not angry. In fact, I’m very glad this happened. In exchange for your servitude towards my cause, I’ll reward you with forgiveness, but beyond that, I’ve taken a liking to you. So, from now on, you will remain as my royal consort! And, as promised, I will shape this world into whatever your heart desires.”
Removing himself from you, he brushed himself off and stood upright at the bedside, offering you a hand to take as his other hand reached for the heavy ax which he carried over his shoulder. The bloody Red King smiled, oh-so-delighted.
“Shall we go now? I understand it’s late, but tonight is a special occasion. This night marks the death of Ellis which we will witness together, and the proper beginning of our relationship. Tomorrow, with no one left to protect the White Kingdom, I’ll send my pets to conquer. Then, the only ruler of this land will be me and you, and we’ll govern the land splendidly. Don’t you agree, my King of Hearts?”
#twst#twisted wonderland#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere twisted wonderland#yandere twisted wonderland x reader#yandere twst#ace trappola#twst ace#yandere ace trappola#deuce spade#twst deuce#yandere deuce spade#cater diamond#twst cater#yandere cater diamond#trey clover#twst trey#yandere trey clover#riddle rosehearts#twst riddle#yandere riddle rosehearts#Heartslabyul#damnation twst au
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Codywan First Kiss Bingo
Can't get enough of Cody and Obi-Wan's first kiss in any universe and situation? Well then we'd love to have you play our bingo!
How to Play
Fill out this form and we'll email you your shiny bingo card. Every card is a shuffled assortment of prompts that will look something like this:
Below are all the rules you should know about before you join.
General Rules
We're sure you are familiar with the rules of bingo, but just to be certain everyone is on the same page, to get a bingo you must fill five prompts in a row. That row can be vertical, horizontal, or diagonal. Fill all the prompts on your card and that's a blackout!
Get as creative with your kisses as you want but they MUST BE A FIRST KISS between Obi-Wan and Cody in some capacity.
Prompt fills should be new works, meaning that they should not be part of an ongoing work-in-progress. Sequels and prequels to already-finished works are welcome!
Posting Dates
Participants have the entire month of December to post bingo fills! Sign up around the time of this announcement and you will have a two month creation window before December 1st rolls around.
You can either post to our collection on ao3 and/or on tumblr but we do ask that you please tag us @codywanfirstkissbingo AND tag your post with #CWFKB2023 as we don’t want to miss anyone if tumblr drops the ball.
If you’re posting on AO3 but want us to reblog your fill, please make a Tumblr post with the link and make sure to @ us and tag your post with #CWFKB2023. We’ll be checking the collection when tracking fills and making round-up posts with bingos and blackouts, but we will not be cross-posting every individual fill on AO3 ourselves if the creator has not made a tumblr post.
Please include a screenshot of your bingo tag with the prompt fill indicated so we know which square you’ve filled!
Specific Rules
Fic: 100 words minimum per prompt fill. To be clear, the kiss itself does not have to last 100 words, though we'd be delighted to see that.
Art: One drawing per fill (digital or traditional). Different drawings can be on the same canvas/page if you so wish. Go wild with your compositions.
Podfic: Same requirements as fic. You can collaborate with someone writing a fic specifically for the event or find an existing fic that fills your prompt.
Fanmix: One song per fill- we'd love to see what songs give you codywan first kiss vibes. Try to match lyrics to your prompt but instrumental songs are cool too.
Other: Send an ask with your inquiry! We're more than happy to discuss expanding the fanwork pool to maximize creativity.
Ratings
You can post any work with any rating, but please abide by the appropriate rating/archive warning/tags on AO3 when posting there. When posting on tumblr, please warn for potentially triggering content in the tags and the header to the post, so readers can filter as needed. Anything spicy or explicit should go under a read-more tag, and please use a read-more tag if you’re posting a fic that is longer than a drabble (100 words) to be considerate of people’s dashboard feeds.
To help make this event a safe one for Codywan fans with any kind of photosensitivity, we do specifically request that you tag any and all flashing imagery with #flashing. If you're unsure what constitutes flashing, please see this article, or err on the side of caution for any image with: moving stripes or checkered patterns; strobe light, lightning, or explosion effects in any image or video; images of flickering light/sunlight on leaves/water; very fast cuts between images in a gif or video; rapidly moving images in an animation or gif set that stop and start or “stutter;” sparkle text or similar moving text effects; and images in an animation, gifset, or video that are in high color contrast to each other (for example, a gif set that cuts pink Barbie gifs with black & white Oppenheimer gifs to create a fast-moving contrast between the two styles.)
The CWFKB mods' decision is final on whether your post/entry requires a flashing warning; they will contact you to ask you to update your tags if you haven’t already noted in your tumblr or AO3 post that your fill contains #flashing content. If you are not willing to use the flashing tag, even after being contacted by the mods, the mods have the right to decide that under-tagged flashing fills will be disqualified from the event.
Finally– with exceptions for the NSFW or #spicy and #flashing tags on tumblr– you have the right to choose not to warn readers in accordance with AO3’s “choose not to warn” option, but posters whose tags or ratings are deceptive or misleading versus the actual content may have their fills disqualified.
When in doubt, please contact the mods! The mods will contact you about any fill where the tags and ratings raise this concern, with a request that you revise and update your tags and warnings.
Combining Prompts
This is a low stakes event and we just want people to have fun! If you want to combine prompts that's totally fine, but we ask that you give each fill its own scene within the larger work. This means there should be a separate kiss for each prompt, even if the 'scene' is a series of types of kisses all in a row.
Swapping Prompts
Nearly have a bingo but there's that one pesky prompt in your way you don't vibe with? Go ahead and swap it with another prompt on your card. As all the prompts are randomly selected and not handpicked for participants; we understand there's a chance some of the prompts may not inspire you so we allow ONE and only ONE SWAP PER CARD. Use it carefully if you need it!
Behind the Scenes
This bingo is modded by tumblr users @dontbelasagnax @lttrsfrmlnrrgby and @notthestarwar. Since we're big fans of the previous codywan bingos, we felt the drive to bring the fun back for anyone else that has missed the event as much as us!
Our adorable profile picture was drawn by @anaclastic-azurite!
You can actually find the public inception of this bingo event right here!
If you have any further questions after reading our rules, our askbox is open!
@swfandomevents
(NB: edited Oct. 9 to add "vertical.")
(NB: edited Nov. 10 to add "This means there should be a separate kiss for each prompt, even if the 'scene' is a series of types of kisses all in a row.")
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We’re excited to introduce Vibe Checks for the Praxis website, inspired by the process we’ve developed in our Discord server. With this new feature in place, new members will be able to answer a list of community decided questions, ensuring a safe and respectful environment for all who join the website.
Here’s how it works: Vibe checkers, selected by the community, read over the answers and engage with new members in their respective questionnaire tickets, which are automatically generated upon joining. If enough vibe checkers vote in favor of verifying a new member, they are automatically verified and receive a welcome notification.
With Vibe Checks implemented, we're now able to safely share invite links to the website far outside our Discord server. Whether you're a longtime community member or a newcomer looking to contribute, we welcome you to join us in this early round of testing and QA.
Join the project: https://praxis-app.org/i/4efdc9de
#open source#free software#software#praxis#foss#developers#programming#design#typescript#reactjs#nodejs
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Dying Sun / Smoke / Ch 25 / With My Whole Spark
Link to full chapter | Previous chapter
Knock Out and Breakdown make it somewhere safe--for now. While making repairs, Knock Out discovers Breakdown really seems to like him. Really, really seems to like him.
“Your brother dropped off something quite frightening earlier,” Jackknife’s voice said, and he stepped into view, or rather slid because he was sliding down the stairway railing in a fancy sort of way, landing with grace and barely making a sound against the marble floor. “I figured it was only a matter of time before one of you turned up again.”
He moved closer and took notice of Breakdown, who blended in with the shadows, and Jackknife gasped and leaped back, holding a hand to his spark. “What in Primus’s name is your deal with bringing me corpses?”
“Corpses, Master Jackknife?” Checkers said, and her raised eyebrow showed more emotion than anything else on her face ever had. "Again?"
“Never mind that,” Jackknife said. “Really, Knock Out, this is getting rather ridiculous.”
“This isn’t a corpse,” Knock Out said.
“And I’m not a race car,” Jackknife said. “I think one dead body is enough. At this rate you’ll bring me all of Neo like some kind of awful metallic cat bringing me dead birds.”
“Hey,” Breakdown said, holding up two fingers to wave.
“Hello,” Jackknife said. “Knock Out, I allowed you to set up a lab beneath my residence, not a morgue, and I— HOLY PRIMUS, WHY IS YOUR DEAD BODY SMILING AT ME?”
“I like to smile,” Breakdown said. “I’m also not dead. Yet.”
#transformers dying sun#transformers fanfiction#kobd#knockout x breakdown#tf fan continuity#knock out#breakdown#maccadam#transformers
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Hi! I've been working on a new dependently typed programming language that's designed to be a Pareto improvement over everything that already exists and it's getting to the point where it's actually usable for practical purposes. I'm really excited about it and want to talk about it so please ask me questions about it!
I've designed a dependently typed language with subtyping and a useful fragment providing universal inference to improve practicality for general purpose scripting and programming. I've been using some original mathematical research to push closer to the impossibility proof boundary than any language has ever gone before, and getting some significant convenience and expressiveness out of it. I'm building a categorical notion of semantics to permit really easy compilation to any target, and hopefully extremely high performance with no UB.
I've developed a new approach to compile time reflection that exposes more of the language to metaprogramming effectively and usefully and safely than prior art, enabling extremely powerful abstractions that don't require syntax macro fuckery. Though just for good measure I developed a new way to approach syntax macros that's nicer too.
I'm integrating a modular effects and coeffects system that should allow better safety and convenience than the rust borrow checker while being a lot more flexible about what it represents and checks, for example one thing I'm excited about are security types, where you can, for example, specify that a piece of data is derived from a user's private data, and that contaminates everything causally linked from that data (except for specific security primitives like a one way hash or a homomorphic computation or whatever) (to the extent that the semantics can represent; making formal proofs of side channels is going to be a very long term project since there are no formal specifications of ISA semantics that capture them and all the hardware instructions to mitigate them are actually broken and don't work as advertised), so then a web response marked with another user's domain statically can't accept private information that doesn't belong to them.
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!!WARNING FOR PMTOK FANS!!
Please reblog for awareness.
Someone has attempted to grab my IP address using a Grabify link. Thankfully I was smart enough to instantly recognize the link as malicious, but there’s no telling if this person is sending the same link to followers or other PMTOK fandom members in general.
I have reason to believe this is likely a targeted attack on me, due to a sudden influx of threats from a certain PMTOK fan’s follower base towards me that happened after I vaguely described I found out someone who used to follow me is a lolicon on my alt Twitter to ~20 followers. I will not be sharing names because as I had stated in my original thread, I have no intention of starting drama, just sharing my disgust and shock at something that happened. The point of me describing this is only to explain why this may have happened.
DO NOT LOOK UP THE LINK BELOW UNLESS YOU ARE FINE WITH POTENTIALLY HAVING YOUR LOCATION SHARED WITH THIS PERSON.
I HAVE NO IDEA IF THE LINK CONTAINS ANY GRAPHIC MATERIAL, AS IT HAS A PNG FILE ATTACHED. PLEASE EXERCISE CAUTION.
THE MESSAGE:
PROOF OF IT BEING MALICIOUS:
There are many dangerous and manipulative people in this fandom, and I want everyone to stay safe. I will be contacting law enforcement if this escalates further, though thankfully at the time of being sent this link, I was already far from home and so my IP changed to match that. I did not load the particular link so I don’t believe I am in any immediate danger, but THIS COULD VERY WELL PUT OTHERS INCLUDING YOURSELF IN DANGER.
Do NOT click any suspicious links sent to you— heck, don’t click links sent by anonymous sources at ALL. ALWAYS use a website checker if you’re that curious and need to click it. Please do not make a fool of yourself and wind up with your info in dangerous people’s hands.
Thank you for reading and remember to stay safe online. Please contact me if you’re in the PMTOK fandom and/or are following me and receive any strange links from anonymous or burner accounts.
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MR. LARGO'S REPO SITE MASTERPOST!
in this post, I will link all the sites I deem important and where I draw a lot of our rare images and lore. I will also teach you how to access these sites since flash is no longer available!
Also, if you have any questions, need any help, you find that a link is broken, or you find a link that you feel should be added to this list, don't hesitate to dm me:
Discord -> luigilargo or my main @captainspaulding
First thing's first: In order to actually see a lot of these sites, you gotta have Flash. As we all know, Flash was discontinued in 2020, but thanks to some nerds out there, someone created a custom version of pre-2020 chrome with flash installed!
I've already backed this zip file up to a drive folder for you. All that is needed is this:
Download and extract the zip file. It is 100% safe because it's mine, and this is what I use every day.
Open the folder, do not delete or move anything obviously. Open the Google Chrome application
This will already have flash preinstalled. You don't have to do anything. To be safe, google Flash Checker and open the site, right-click the box that says you need Adobe Flash and run it. If you can see the animation, that means Flash is working ☝️😎
You may have to turn it on each time you reload a new web archive page and may have to right-click the flash animations to turn it on. Otherwise, you're all set, and you now have Flash just like the good ol days!
Now with that outta the way, here is a list of all Repo! related sites that you can access through the wayback machine:
Repo! film site
Repo! stage play site
GeneCo site (this one is still up and running so it can actually be accessed without wayback)
Zydrate site
Anti GeneCo blog site
Repo! members site (this one I so far have only been able to access the homepage, but I'm putting it here in case someone can figure out how to see more since this site apparently had lots of art and bts things for the film)
MySpace links:
Pavi's MySpace
Amber's MySpace
Shilo's MySpace
(as of now these are all that I can access, if anyone has working links to view the others please dm us so we can update this list)
It should go without saying that these are archived sites, a good chunk of the images are broken and its up to you to sift through all the snapshots and find working pages!
Have fun and I will update this list with any new sites or information I find.
- mod luigi
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hi friends, i realized i've never shared this resource here, but to anyone who accepts links in asks, i'd recommend checking it if it's safe with nordvpn's link checker! of course, tools like these are not 100% foolproof, so please still exercise caution when opening links!!
#this is hashtag notsponsored i just think this tool is neat#esp for my writer mooties who accept links !!!#i just used it and got reminded of its helpfulness bc i have anxiety about these things lowk lmao
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Small Town, Tuesday Night
Written for the @microcest June 26th Prompt: Blind Date
America/Canada | 2.7k words | twincest, SFW
Rotting away in the boring small town he grew up in, Alfred lets himself be pushed into a blind-date with the one other gay guy in the area—some dude named Matthew. There's no way he'll hit it off with some stranger, but at least it'll shut his nagging dad up for awhile, and offer some variety in a life where the days all blur together.
Matthew is spending his summer break upstate, enjoying hiking and fishing and being away from the hustle and bustle of the city. When his aunt offers to set him up with a coworker's son, he accepts. He wasn't exactly pining away for a boyfriend but maybe a little romance will spice up his summer.
Neither is prepared for what they'll see when they finally meet.
Ao3 Link
Alfred was relaxing on the couch peacefully picking flowers in Skyrim when Arthur walked in from the kitchen.
Alfred didn't even have to look up at his dad to know he was about to dish out some criticism. It was all he seemed to have for Alfred these days.
"I'm sick of seeing you mope about the house. You're twenty-six years old, if you can't find a job, you can at least meet someone!" Arthur said.
Alfred thought for the millionth time that he really needed to get a TV for his bedroom so he could take his PS5 upstairs and be safe from Arthur's relentless nagging.
"I've tried!" Alfred whined, "It's not that easy. Do you know how many gay guys there are around here? None!"
Here being a small town in rural Minnesota.
"Nonsense. Why, just the other day Chloé at work was saying her nephew came out as gay recently. You can date him." Arthur said, putting his hands on his hips.
He was wearing a little checkered apron over his clothes, and going by the harsh acrid stench of smoke beginning to waft out of the kitchen, he would be better off checking on his scones than pestering his son. But Alfred knew when Arthur got on a roll he wouldn't listen.
"One guy," Alfred grumbled, "and he could be forty for all I know."
"He is not forty," Arthur scoffed, "he's a student at the University of Minnesota."
"That doesn't mean anything, he could be a nontraditional student," Alfred said, just to be contrary.
At his age, he would be a nontraditional student if he enrolled, like Arthur was always nagging him to do.
"Quit making excuses," Arthur scolded, "do you want to be still sitting on my couch when you're forty? I'll ask Chloé his age and if he's closer to yours than mine, you can go on a date with him."
"Yeah sure whatever," Alfred mumbled.
It's not like he didn't want to find a partner, although having to be set up by his dad was so embarrassing. He was sure the guy would be a total dud, with nothing in common with Alfred other than being gay. Maybe a Log Cabin Republican, or some super flamboyant type.
Arthur smirked at Alfred's acquiescence, savoring the triumph of finally succeeding in one of his attempts to push his manchild son towards the milestones of adulthood.
That was, until he noticed the dark smoke now billowing out of the kitchen.
"Bollocks!"
*****
It turned out that Chloé's nephew was the same age as Alfred ("If that's not a sign I don't know what is," Arthur had said smugly).
"Okay, what's his number?" Alfred asked.
"I didn't get his number," Arthur said.
"Well get it! Geez. How do you expect me to get in touch with this guy without a phone number?" Alfred asked.
Arthur rolled his eyes and walked off to call Chloé (yes, call, because Arthur was such an old man he still called everyone instead of texting) and get Matthew's number. Alfred heard him mutter something about "in my day".
"In your day you probably sent a telegram," Alfred said.
Arthur walked back in, phone cradled to his ear and still chatting with his coworker, and flipped Alfred off.
Alfred sputtered. "I'd get grounded for a week if I did that," he protested.
Arthur put his hand over the phone's mouthpiece and said, "My house, my rules."
Alfred fumed. Maybe he'd hit it off with this Matthew guy, who'd get a high-paying job when he graduated, and then Alfred could move in with him and be his cute gamer house-husband.
Hell, Alfred would move into a shed with a hobo at this point to get away from Arthur's annoying ass. But a shed wouldn't have electricity for his PS5...
Alfred sighed. Better hope Matthew made the big bucks then. When Arthur finally (finally! God, the man gossiped like an old hen) returned with a scrap of paper with Matthew's number on it, Alfred snatched it out of his hands, saying "That could have been a text you tree-wasting bastard."
While Arthur started a longwinded rant about showing respect, Alfred sent Matt a quick text saying "Hi :)" and then started sleuthing online. Everyone had an online footprint. Time to find out what this Matthew was really like.
*****
Alfred dug around online in between texts with Matthew. Matthew was polite but didn't hesitate to answer all of Alfred's questions. Alfred had a tendency to bombard people with texts, sending a dozen in a row rapid-fire. Matthew didn't complain or ask Alfred to slow down, that was one point in his favor.
According to Matthew he was: in his senior year of college working on a Conservation Biology degree. He'd grown up in Canada but moved to the states as a teen. He enjoyed hockey, nature, and his favorite food was pancakes.
His taste in memes was excellent, and he and Alfred spent the next couple of hours sending each other dumb shit until Arthur yelled at him to be quiet because he was laughing so hard.
"Uptight British asshole," Alfred grumbled, but he took his phone and went to sit in the backyard all the same.
Fireflies glowed in the darkness a few yards from the deck, but their beauty was wasted on Alfred, who was too busy getting to know his new potential-boyfriend.
The hours passed quickly with them chatting about everything and nothing. Alfred was stoked to find out they had the same music taste (eclectic and broad, spanning all genres, even the ones people usually listed as exceptions, like country and rap) and liked a lot of the same bands. They played a lot of the same games too.
"I was actually playing Skyrim when Aunt Chloé called me about you." Matthew texted.
"haha, what a coinkydink. we're on the same wavelength." Alfred replied.
He was starting to feel really excited about their upcoming date (bowling, because "what else is there to do in this town?" "IKR???"). Maybe Matthew and him were meant to be.
"I hardly ever get to play cuz I'm so busy with classes...speaking of classes, I have an 8am class! D: I didn't realize it'd gotten so late. I'd better go to bed. See you tomorrow!" Matthew sent.
"Nite!" Alfred replied, pondering if he should send a kissy emoji or something like that. But nah, they didn't know each other that well yet.
With that decided, he stuck his phone in his pocket and headed back indoors. Matthew might be going to bed, but Alfred would be up for a couple more hours leveling his WoW characters.
*****
The next day, the date loomed heavily in his mind. In between gaming with his online friends he texted Matthew. Something occurred to him after lunch.
He still didn't have a clue what Matthew looked like. Matthew's Facebook icon was a picture of a polar bear, not a photo of himself. The guy's Instagram gave away nothing—not a single selfie or group pic. It was mostly meal snapshots and photos from hiking trails.
Alfred texted him, "Can you send me a photo of yourself? I'm not asking for a dickpic or anything, I just wanna know what you look like so I can spot you at the bowling alley."
A couple minutes later Alfred's phone dinged. He snatched it up, eager to see what his date looked like.
The excited grin fell off of Alfred's face as he stared at the screen, confused. It was...a photo of himself? His eyes looked weirdly purple in the photo but that was probably a filter.
Had Arthur sent Chloé a photo of Alfred and she'd passed it on to Matthew, and Matthew accidentally sent that instead of one of his own selfies? Or had Matthew been e-stalking and gotten the photo off of Alfred's Instagram account or somewhere?
Either way it was weird. Alfred didn't recognize or remember the photo at all. In it, his hair looked unusually lush and wavy, and he had an uncharacteristically sweet smile on his face as he leaned on the railing of a balcony.
Alfred squinted at the background of the photo. What looked suspiciously like the Eiffel tower stuck out among the more normal buildings.
Alfred had never been to Paris, or even France. The only place he went overseas was to England with Arthur to visit his relatives there. Why had someone Photoshopped him into Paris? Was this guy Matthew a total fucking weirdo or was this Arthur's doing?
A chill ran down his spine at the possibility that Arthur had gotten him entangled with a freakin' psycho!
"ARTHUR!" Alfred hollered, jumping off the couch and running to find his dad.
He found Arthur in his study upstairs, frowning over some paperwork. When Alfred burst through the door, Arthur glanced up, eyes searching Alfred's body for any injuries or cause for alarm.
"Half the town can hear you shouting, what is it?" Arthur asked.
In response, Alfred held up his phone. Arthur look at the glowing screen.
"A photo of yourself?" Arthur sighed, "Alfred, I really don't have time for this. Please don't interrupt me unless it's something serious.
"I didn't take this! Matthew sent it to me," Alfred said.
"And?" Arthur raised one bushy brow.
Arthur presumed the boy had gotten a photo off of Alfred from the internet. Strange maybe, but who knew what was all the rage with kids these days and why?
"And I don't recognize this photo at all, and, and—look, that's the Eiffel Tower!" Alfred said, pointing to it.
Arthur looked.
"Did you send Chloé or Matthew any photos of me?" Alfred asked.
"No, I haven't sent them anything of the sort." Arthur said.
"So where did he get this? And why would he doctor it to put me in France? What sort of a weirdo did you set me up with?!" Alfred asked, waving his arms around.
"I'm sure he's a perfectly nice lad, it's probably a joke. Why don't you ask him?" Arthur asked.
"Why don't I ask him?" Alfred mimicked him. Then, he shouted "Because I don't want to end up chained up in his basement!"
"Always use a safeword son," Arthur said.
"Ewww! Take this seriously!" Alfred said, his face scrunching up.
"Don't go on a date with him if it bothers you so much," Arthur said, "Now, I'm very busy with work so if you could leave now—"
"When they find my body in a ditch somewhere, you'll wish you'd listened to me," Alfred grumbled.
He stalked out of Arthur's office with his phone clenched in his hand. When he got back to his bedroom, he flopped down on the bed to stare at the photo some more, as if it would give up its secrets. Matthew had messaged again while he was arguing with Arthur.
"No response? Damn, I didn't think I looked that bad lol," Matthew's text read.
"Where did you get that photo?" Alfred texted back.
"Papa took it, when we were in France last year," Matthew answered.
Then he sent,"How about you? Send me a selfie? :)"
"You already know what I look like :/" Alfred responded.
The reply from Matthew came through a few seconds later, "Wdym?"
Alfred growled. The fucker was playing dumb. This guy had to be a real whackjob. This was the weirdest catfish ever—Matthew had stolen his date's photo to present to them, pretending to be them? Completely bizarre. Did Matthew even like all those bands and video games he said he did, or had he just stalked Alfred thoroughly and learned all his likes and dislikes?
He didn't scare Alfred though. Alfred was going to meet the little psycho in person and give him a piece of his mind.
****
It was already dark out when Alfred walked up to the bowling alley. The parking lot was nearly empty of cars, since Tuesday wasn't exactly a hot date night for most people. The ancient building that housed the bowling lanes was in poor-repair, but it was brightly lit outside, so Alfred sat down on the bench next to the entrance. Junebugs flew by his head, drawn by the light, but Alfred ignored them.
He was busy texting Matthew. "I'm here. waiting by the bench outside" he sent.
Then he put his phone down and waited, eyes scanning the parking lot but also alert to the door next to him, in case the weirdo was inside and would come out to get him.
After a few minutes, a small white car pulled into the parking lot, parking a few spaces down from the entrance.
Alfred tensed as the car door opened, and a man stepped out. Was this him? As the young man approached, Alfred's jaw dropped.
"What the fuck?" Alfred asked.
"Are you Alfred?" Matthew asked, blinking. He took off his glasses, rubbed his eyes, and put the glasses back on. Stared. "Wow," he croaked. "We...look a lot alike."
"Yeah, no shit," Alfred said, staring back.
So that hadn't been a stolen photo of Alfred, Photoshopped for some bizarre reason that only a twisted nutcase would understand.
Alfred chuckled. "Well, at least you're not crazy."
"You thought I was crazy?" Matthew asked, "Why?"
"Dude! I thought you sent me a photo of me," Alfred said.
Matthew sat down next to him on the bench. "Yeah, I can see how you'd think that. No wonder you wouldn't send me a photo back."
"Man, we look so much alike—this is nuts! We could be twins," Alfred said.
Matthew groaned, covering his eyes with one palm. "Don't say that. It would be just my luck eh? Finally meet a nice boy who likes me back and he's my brother."
"Aww, you think I'm a nice boy. Enjoy that delusion while it lasts," Alfred snarked.
Matthew straightened, his pretty violet-tinted eyes (and Alfred was still in awe that he was dating a guy with legitimately purpley-blue eyes) narrowing as he looked over Alfred's face again. Alfred couldn't look away from him. It was so strange.
"Let me guess, you were born on July 1st, and you're adopted," Matthew said.
"Yep! Hey, how'd you know I was adopted?" Alfred asked, not jumping to conclusions as fast as Matthew.
"Because my birthday is also July 1st, and I'm also adopted." Matthew said, "Fuck, this sucks. Do you know what this means?"
"We're time-twins! That's so kickass!" Alfred said.
"Yes, we're—wait, what? Time twins?" Matthew asked.
"Also called 'astro twins'!" Alfred informed him, "It's people born around the same time, around the same place. I guess if you were born like, half way across the globe from me, then you might have a different birth chart."
"Oh shit, you believe in astrology," Matthew let out a shaky laugh, "Well at least there's that. Clearly we never would have worked as a couple."
"Hey man, what do you have against astrology?" Alfred asked.
"Nothing," Matthew assured him, "it's just complete hocus, but you can believe what you want."
"Oh fuck man, you tryna start a fight?" Alfred said, shaking his head.
"Not at all," Matthew replied, "Time-twins or not, I think we're literal twins. Same birthday, adopted, look the splitting image of each other. I bet if we could get our adoption records opened, it would show we have the same birth mother."
"Bullshit dude, I finally found a boyfriend! No way am I having him taken away from me by some corny soap opera shit!" Alfred said.
"So what, you want to just ignore that we're almost certainly blood related? Identical twins? People will notice that we look just alike," Matthew said.
"I'll dye my hair," Alfred said, stubborn as ever, "and no one can unseal our adoption records, so they can't prove shit!"
"There's no way this is going to work," Matthew said, "but okay. Brother, boyfriend, I want to learn more about you either way."
"Sweet! Maybe I won't die a virgin after all," Alfred said, grinning at his twin.
"You're still a virgin? At our age? Oh my god," Matthew said.
"Don't judge me! Who would I screw in this podunk town? Before you arrived, that is," Alfred said, raising his eyebrows up and down.
Matthew groaned.
C'mon, let's go bowl!" Alfred said.
He grabbed Matthew's hand and pulled him to his feet, dragging him through the swinging doors of the bowling alley.
#caname#amecan#na brothers#hws#hetalia#microcest#my fic#genuinely sorry I wrote so much 😭 this is not very micro
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Codywan First Kiss Bingo 2025
Can't get enough of Cody and Obi-Wan's first kiss in any universe and situation? Well then we'd love to have you play our bingo!
How to Play
Once you've filled out the form to register, we'll email you your shiny bingo card. Every card is a shuffled assortment of prompts that will look something like this:
Below are all the rules you should know about before you join.
General Rules
We're sure you are familiar with the rules of bingo, but just to be certain everyone is on the same page, to get a bingo you must fill three prompts in a row. That row can be vertical, horizontal, or diagonal. Fill all the prompts on your card and that's a blackout!
Get as creative with your kisses as you want, but they MUST BE A FIRST KISS between Obi-Wan and Cody in some capacity.
Prompt fills should be new works, meaning that they should not be part of an ongoing work-in-progress that has not yet been posted as a complete work. Sequels and prequels to already-finished works are welcome!
Posting Dates
Participants have the February 1 to February 14, 2025 to post bingo fills! Sign up around the time of this announcement and you will have a long creation window before posting time rolls around.
You are strongly encouraged to post to our collection on ao3 and we love to see your posts on tumblr, too– if you’re posting on tumblr, please tag us @codywanfirstkissbingo AND tag your post with #CWFKB2025. We don’t want to miss anyone if tumblr drops the ball in our notifications. Using #CWFKB2025 gives us another way to find your fill .
If you’re posting on AO3, we will reblog your fill if you make a Tumblr post with the link, @ us and tag your post with #CWFKB2025. We’ll be checking the AO3 collection when tracking fills and making round-up posts with bingos and blackouts, so your fills will be included there– but we will not cross-post every individual fill on AO3 as its own post if the creator has not made a tumblr post we can reblog to share.
When posting on tumblr and/or on AO3, please include a screenshot of your bingo card with the prompt fill indicated so we know which square you’ve filled!
Specific Rules
Fic: 100 words minimum per prompt fill. To be clear, the kiss itself does not have to last 100 words, though we'd be delighted to see that.
Art: One drawing per fill (digital or traditional). Different drawings can be on the same canvas/page if you so wish. Go wild with your compositions.
Podfic: Same requirements as fic. You can collaborate with someone writing a fic specifically for the event or find an existing fic that fills your prompt.
Fanmix: One song per fill- we'd love to see what songs give you codywan first kiss vibes. Try to match lyrics to your prompt but instrumental songs are cool too.
Other: Send an ask with your inquiry! We're more than happy to discuss expanding the fanwork pool to maximize creativity.
Ratings
You can post any work with any rating, but please abide by the appropriate rating/archive warning/tags on AO3 when posting there. When posting on tumblr, please warn for potentially triggering content in the tags and the header to the post, so readers can filter as needed.
Anything spicy or explicit should go under a read-more tag, and please use a read-more tag if you’re posting a fic that is longer than a drabble (100 words) so we’re not clogging people’s dashboards.
To help make this event safe for Codywan fans with any kind of photosensitivity, we do specifically request that you tag any and all flashing imagery with #flashing. If you're unsure what constitutes flashing, please see this article, or err on the side of caution for any image with: moving stripes or checkered patterns; strobe light, lightning, or explosion effects in any image or video; images of flickering light/sunlight on leaves/water; very fast cuts between images in a gif or video; rapidly moving images in an animation or gif set that stop and start or “stutter;” sparkle text or similar moving text effects; and images in an animation, gifset, or video that are in high color contrast to each other (for example, a gif set that cuts pink Barbie gifs with black & white Oppenheimer gifs to create a fast-moving contrast between the two styles.)
To make this event accessible for Codywan fans who are low-vision, have visual processing disorders, or who otherwise find their fandom experience strongly enhanced when art, photographs, and photomanips have Alt-Text captions, we request that you consider adding Alt-Text to your posted image on tumblr, so that Codywan fans with screen-readers can enjoy your post along with everyone else. This post at Perkins School for the Blind gives you some tips and tricks– the description doesn’t have to go into every detail a seeing person would see, but an example might be: “A full-color digital drawing of Obi-Wan Kenobi and Commander Cody kissing under mistletoe. Both Obi-Wan and Cody are smiling, and little cartoon hearts are floating around them.”
The CWFKB mods' decision is final on whether your post/entry requires a flashing warning; they will contact you to ask you to update your tags if you haven’t already noted in your tumblr or AO3 post that your fill contains #flashing content. If you are not willing to use the flashing tag, even after being contacted by the mods, the mods have the right to decide that under-tagged flashing fills will be disqualified from the event.
Finally– with exceptions for the NSFW or #spicy and #flashing tags on tumblr– you have the right to choose not to warn readers in accordance with AO3’s “choose not to warn” option, but posters whose tags or ratings are deceptive or misleading versus the actual content may have their fills disqualified.
When in doubt, please contact the mods! We will also contact you about any fill where the tags or ratings raise a concern.
Combining Prompts
This is a low stakes event and we just want people to have fun! If you want to combine prompts that's totally fine, but we ask that you give each fill its own scene within the larger work. This means there should be a separate kiss for each prompt, even if the 'scene' is a series of types of kisses all in a row.
Swapping Prompts
Nearly have a bingo but there's that one pesky prompt in your way you don't vibe with? Go ahead and swap it with another prompt on your card! All the prompts are randomly selected and not handpicked for participants; we understand there's a chance some of the prompts may not inspire you, so we allow ONE and only ONE SWAP PER CARD. Use the swap, codywaners! Use the swap!
Behind the Scenes
This bingo is modded by tumblr users @dontbelasagnax @lttrsfrmlnrrgby and @notthestarwar, who brought you #CWFKB2023. This year we are also joined by the amazing helpers @biscuityskies @nhyhu and @bluemaskedkarma.
Our adorable profile picture was drawn by @anaclastic-azurite!
You can actually find the public inception of this bingo event right here!
If you have any further questions after reading our rules, our askbox is open!
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Saw this on Twitter and thought of warning folks in here too.
There's a link to a data leak checker in the article to check if your email address(es) got leaked. If so, change the password immediately.
Be safe out there.
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hiya! so this is a long one:
during december, i ran a daily puzzle recommendation column in a music discord server where i sent one cool puzzle every day for 31 days. those puzzles drew from basically every corner of puzzling that i've been sinking into for the past couple of years, so i'm going to dump them all in this singular tumblr post as a quick way to jot down where i've already been. maybe you'll enjoy one of them also!
logic puzzles
1. nonbinary masyu, designed by walker for the 2023 puzzler pride edition of the griddle. link goes to the pdf of the whole puzzle pack, where this puzzle and its rules can be found on page 5.
2. recursive masyu, designed by fleb, with a super unique variety mechanic. link contains the rules. (fleb had a stellar youtube channel going in the past with really well made breakdown videos of various puzzles. all of it is worth watching)
3. rush hour sudoku, designed by chameleon, which adds an interactive mechanic to a sudoku. link contains the rules and a playable solver that they coded themselves
4. the miracle sudoku, designed by mitchell lee, which at this point is incredibly famous. link contains the rules and a playable solver.
5. foggy twilight kurotto, designed by menderbug. good if you've done a twilight kurotto, or a normal kurotto, before. link contains the rules and a playable solver via penpa+.
6. choco banana, designed by tawan sunathvanichkul for the 79th issue of tambox bulletin. link goes to the pdf for the whole puzzle page, where this puzzle is on the left side.
7. litherslink, designed by michael3.14 for the snakes on a plane series in the cracking the cryptic discord server. i've played slitherlink before, and this messed with my head. link goes to a puzz.link solver with the rules in Help -> Rules.
8. star battle, designed by jack lance (rest in peace). oh, is there no link for it? that's weird.
word puzzles
9. bagel shop caption puzzle, a rows garden published by the new yorker. link contains a solver with the clues.
10. printer's devilry, a crossword by kyle dolan with printer's devilry clues. link goes to a solver on amuselabs with the clues and an explanation of how to solve them.
11. safe cracking, a crossword by noneuclidean with an unorthodox theme. link goes to a solver on crosshare with the clues.
12. japanese braille, a sample puzzle from the international linguistics olympiad. link goes to a pdf containing all of the sample puzzles, where this puzzle is on page 4. note that the pdf version of the puzzle (as opposed to the above image) contains extra information that makes the puzzle easier.
13. the 2023 puzzmo holiday puzzlebook, published by puzzmo. link goes to a pdf containing the above puzzle and so many more. if you like what's inside and you're not already playing puzzmo, now is a great time to hop aboard!
hunt puzzles
14. paint by numbers, designed by brian chen for the 2023 galactic puzzle hunt. link includes an answer checker.
15. extreme anagrams, designed by yannick yao for the 2022 galactic puzzle hunt. the above image is a curated selection from the puzzle that i found the most interesting. link goes to the full puzzle.
16. make your own math quiz, designed by azalea weisblat and josh alman for the 2020 galactic puzzle hunt, which was one of my favorite solving experiences of all time. link goes to the full puzzle, which is interactive.
17. worm search, part of a puzzle designed by adeline wong and thomas gordon for the 17th shard puzzle hunt. note that knowing which puzzle from the hunt contains this subpuzzle is a small spoiler, so if you're sure you want to see the full puzzle, it's here.
games
18. 0123456789, an instructionless puzzle game designed by matrix67 that defies explanation. link goes to itch.io
19. the blot thickens, a puzzle designed by scottg for the 2023 confounding calendar. i previously wrote about it here! link goes to itch.io
20. a level set from INSIGHT (or "Insight"? or "IN?IGHT"? or "IN⸮IGHT"? the name isn't stylized consistently), a game designed by maou. this game is instructionless - your goal is to split each shape into two pieces following some rule. the rule for this level set can be inferred from only the image, but the game expects you to toy around with possibilities to figure out why certain solutions are right and others are wrong. the link goes to the full game on steam, where if you'd like to try that, you can buy it and reach this stage yourself.
21. klifur, a bouldering simulator designed by torfi that's so like and so unlike real climbing. link goes to itch.io
22. frog finder, a cute game designed by poobslag. it got updated with more content since i originally played it! link goes to itch.io
tiny tricksies
23. make oo, a puzzle designed by beekie. link goes to itch.io
24. addition puzzle, designed by beekie for the 2021 confounding calendar. link goes to itch.io
25. snow walk, a gif-based puzzle designed by patrick traynor (the maker of patrick's parabox) for the 2021 confounding calendar. link goes to itch.io
26. ペンギン迷路 (penguin maze), a japanese puzzle designed by qrostar. you don't need to know japanese to solve it - the goal is to place one right arrow (->) in an empty space in the grid such that starting from the marked arrow in the top right and moving in the direction of each arrow you pass eventually leads you to the flag in the bottom. link goes to the full puzzle on their twitter ("""X""")
variety
27. an unusual chess puzzle, originally designed by raymond sullivan in "the chess mysteries of the arabian knights", sourced from this blog post on chess.com. this is not a conventional chess puzzle - the goal is to figure out how this position happened. ie: it's currently someone's turn, and you have to figure out what the board looked like 3 moves ago.
28. five houses puzzle, designed by jack lance. i've embellished the problem statement to make the goal more clear:
there are five houses on a street that all have different prices and heights.
let's say the prices are $1M, $2M, $3M, $4M, and $5M, and the heights are 3m, 3.5m, 4m, 4.5m, and 5m, in some order.
given the following constraints, identify the price and height of each house:
1) The house that's taller than the house that's more expensive than the house that's shorter than the house that's cheaper than the house that's blue is red.
(i came across this from a blog post by jacob cohen of puzzles for progress discussing jack lance's passing. worth a read honestly - jack lance was too good)
29. the cursed dice riddle, designed by dan finkel and presented by ted-ed. link goes to the video, which contains the problem statement and the solution.
30. round 2 of s19e6 of the british quiz show only connect, reformatted as a puzzle. this is honestly worth its own blog post, which i'll make later - for now, you can find the full episode here.
31. last but by far not least, LOK, a very artful puzzle book designed by blaz urban gracer of letibus design. link goes to itch.io
i had a great time fishing up all of these during december, and i'm hoping to find even cooler stuff this year and beyond. send me cool stuff if you've got anything!
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Hmm okay. Easy enough- just gotta run it through a morce code decoder- oh?? It's Binary?? Heh
Easy peasy!! Binary decoder!! NIce It's,, -a youtube link?? Better run it through some link checkers. Can't be too careful
Okay seems to be safe, triple checked and copied the video title to search on youtube instead of clicking it. and-
Ashley Tisdale - Never Gonna Give You Up? It's actually pretty good, thanks for the tunes <3<3<3 great meme<3
heres one for you! Good luck! 8GPInTiModt=y?kfwdz/prf.hexwxrb.zzz//:vswwk
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Podcasting "How To Make a Child-Safe TikTok"
This week on my podcast, I read my recent Medium column, “How To Make a Child-Safe TikTok: Have you tried not spying on kids?” The column was inspired by one of the most bizarre exchanges during the Congressional grilling of TokTok CEO Shou Chew:
https://doctorow.medium.com/how-to-make-a-child-safe-tiktok-be08fbf94b0d
If you’d like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here’s a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/17/have-you-tried-not-spying/#coppa
If you heard anything about that hearing, it was likely this. Rep Buddy Carter, Republican of Georgia, demanded to know whether Tiktok used “the phone’s camera to determine whether the content that elicits a pupil dilation should be amplified by the algorithm?”
https://www.c-span.org/video/?526609-1/tiktok-ceo-testifies-house-energy-commerce-committee-hearing
Chew replied, “We do not collect body, face or voice data to identify our users. We do not.” Carter pressed him, asking “How do you determine what age they are then?”
Chew said, “We rely on age-gating as our key age assurance.” Carter assumed tuckercarlsonian expression of perplexity and asked for more information. Chew explained: “It’s when you ask the user what age they are.” Carter was clearly baffled by this.
Chew added, “this is a real challenge for our industry because privacy versus age assurance is a really big problem.” Carter interrupted him: “you keep talking about the industry, we’re talking about TikTok here.”
This was a remarkable exchange, even by the standards of Congressional hearings on technology, a genre that includes “a series of tubes,” “Senator, we run ads,” and “Will you commit to ending finsta?”
Chew was completely and terribly correct, of course. The way that the entire industry complies with COPPA — the law that prohibits data-gathering on under-13s without parental consent — is by asking every used to tick a box that says “I am over 13.” This is such an inadequate and laughable figleaf that the Congressdunderhead from Georgia can (possibly) be forgiven for assuming that “age verification” involved some kind of digital phrenology by way of facial scanning.
But beyond being yet another entry in the annals Congressional Pig-Ignorance On Tech, the exchange reveals a massive blind-spot about the entire business of kids’ privacy, and the legislative intention of COPPA, a law passed in 1998, before the age of ubiquitous commercial internet surveillance — but not before people understood that this would be an important subject.
One thing to note here is how rare COPPA is. The US has very near to zero federal privacy laws. There’s the Electronic Communications Privacy Act of 1986, which is about as up-to-date as you might imagine given that it was passed in 1986. Then there’s the Video Privacy Protection Act of 1988, which bans video-store clerks from revealing which porn you (or more to the point, Members of Congress) have rented.
And then there’s COPPA, which requires parental consent for data-gathering on pre-teens. And that’s basically…it.
COPPA’s got a checkered legislative history; a lot of the “parental consent” language is about ensuring that kids can’t get access reproductive health information and services, but as with any contentious piece of lawmaking, COPPA passed due to a coalition with different priorities, and part of that coalition just wanted to make sure that companies weren’t spying on kids.
Because — as both Buddy Carter and Shou Chew — can attest, it’s really hard to get parental consent at scale. Like, how do you even know if you’re talking to a kid’s parent or guardian if you’re not allowed to gather information on that kid? And how do you know if you’re talking to a kid or an adult when you gather any information, on any user?
Even if facial recognition technology had been widespread in 1986, I think we can all agree that Congress’s intent wasn’t to “protect kids’ privacy” by subjecting every child who used a computer to an invasive biometric scan. How could you comply with COPPA, then?
Well, one possibility is to never spy on users.
OK, not never. But only in very special circumstances — situations in which users would be willing to go through a reasonably thorough identification procedure. There are some situations in which it would be relatively straightforward to do this for parental consent, too: schools, pediatricians and libraries typically encounter children at the same time as their parents or guardians.
And for the rest of it, companies could just not spy.
The truly bizarre thing is how bizarre this suggestion comes across. It is essentially beyond the imagination of both Buddy Carter and Shou Chew that Tiktok could comply with COPPA by not gathering any user-data. After all COPPA, doesn’t prohibit providing web access to under-13s without parental consent — it prohibits spying on under-13s.
It’s not just Congressdunderheads and Tiktok CEOs who treat “don’t spy on under-13s” as a synonym for “don’t let under-13s use this service.” Every tech product designer and every general counsel at every tech company treats these two propositions as equivalent, because they are literally incapable of imagining a surveillance-free online service.
Which is funny, given another part of the Congressional interview. Chew says, “The only face data that you’ll get, that we collect is when you use the filters that put, say, sunglasses on your face, we need to know where your eyes are.” Carter interrupts him to say, “Why do you need to know where the eyes are if you’re not seeing if they’re dilated?” (my god this guy is horny for pupils).
Chew finishes, “and the data is stored locally on your local device and deleted after the use, if you use it for facial” (emphasis mine).
The Tiktok app could store the list of accounts you follow on your device, and send requests to the Tiktok servers for their updates, and the servers could fulfill those requests without logging them. Your device could analyze the videos you interact with and ask the Tiktok servers for suggestions based on those criteria — again, without Tiktok logging your info.
There’s no millennial prophet who came down off a mountain with two stone tablets circa 2002 and intoned, “Nerds of the world, thou shalt stop rotating thine logfiles, and lo! Thou shalt mine them for actionable market intelligence.” There is nothing intrinsic to the idea of letting people talk to each other, or search the web, or look at videos, that requires surveillance. The surveillance is a choice, which necessitated hundreds of billions of dollars in capital expenditures, and which should have been understood as illegal under COPPA.
But COPPA hasn’t been meaningfully enforced for a quarter of a century. That’s because the ad-tech industry mobilizes some of the hundreds of billions of dollars it gains through spying to block privacy law enforcement and the passage of any new privacy laws. David Cohen, CEO of the surveillance lobby group IEA, told his members, “Extremists are winning the battle for hearts and minds in Washington, D.C., and beyond. We cannot let that happen.”
His co-conspirators at the anti-privacy lobbying group Privacy For America (yes, really) told Congress that commercial surveillance saves every American $30,000/year — in other words, they value the data they steal from you every year at $30,000:
https://www.privacyforamerica.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Privacy-for-America-Letter-in-Support-of-Preemptive-Comprehensive-Privacy-Legislation.pdf
But as Julia Angwin points out, this figure is as absurd as the name “Privacy for America.” The number is pure fiction:
https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.1815663116#abstract
It doesn’t matter how much the data caught in the ad-tech industry’s nonconsensual harvest is worth — all that matters is that it produces the surplus needed to keep privacy law enforcement and expansion at bay.
Tiktok shouldn’t spy on our kids. Neither should anyone else. America doesn’t need a law banning Tiktok, it’s needs a law banning Tiktok’s surveillance — as well as the surveillance of all its rivals:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/03/30/tik-tok-tow/#good-politics-for-electoral-victories
Because the Chinese state doesn’t need Tiktok to spy on Americans. In the freewheeling, unregulated privacy “marketplace,” all that data is for sale — Chinese spies can just plunk down their credit-cards next to everyone else who buys our data and mobilizes it to compromise us, market to us, and stalk us.
Here’s the podcast episode:
https://craphound.com/news/2023/04/17/how-to-make-a-child-safe-tiktok/
And here’s a direct link to the MP3 (hosting courtesy of the Internet Archive; they’ll host your stuff for free, forever):
https://archive.org/download/Cory_Doctorow_Podcast_443/Cory_Doctorow_Podcast_443_-_How_To_Make_a_Child-Safe_TikTok.mp3
And here’s the direct RSS link for my podcast:
https://feeds.feedburner.com/doctorow_podcast
THIS IS THE LAST DAY for the Kickstarter campaign for the audiobook of my next novel, a post-cyberpunk anti-finance finance thriller about Silicon Valley scams called Red Team Blues. Amazon’s Audible refuses to carry my audiobooks because they’re DRM free, but crowdfunding makes them possible.
[Image ID: The exterior of a corporate office building, with the TikTok logo and wordmark over its revolving doors. From behind the revolving doors glares the hostile red eye of HAL9000 from Kubrick's '2001: A Space Odyssey." In front of the doors is a 'you must be this tall to ride' amusement-park cutout of a boy with a bow-tie, holding out his arm to indicate the minimum required height.]
#pluralistic#age-gating#tiktok#coppa#surveillance#privacy#parenting#kids#rep buddy carter#pupillary dilation#podcasts
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