#saerans route WRECKED me

[marshmallowprotection]

I love Jumin’s Route but Saeyoung’s calls towards the end of the route absolutely wreck me. Like initially way back in 2016 I played the game in order and I wasn’t spoiled so I just thought this man met like an old ex friend or something. Someone he betrayed. I never thought the game would take such a DRASTIC TURN. In addition to his unrequited feelings for MC. But replaying it knowing everything I know and one of his final calls being how broken he feels seeing his brother his only family his reason to live. Idk like I felt like crying 😭 like Seven baby don’t be too hard on yourself you and Saeran were played by people you thought you could trust

Put yourself in his shoes for a moment. He is forced to realize that the promise he made was broken. He has to live with the fact that there's nothing he can do to make things right. He's stuck between a rock and a hard place and he might not be able to make it right. He has to live with knowing all of these things and he can't tell a single soul about it. Nobody can know the depths of his despair.

If they know too much, they can have it used against them and in turn, it'll be used against him. There is no hope in his heart. He has nothing any more but he keeps a fake smile on his face because what other choice does he have? 

He can't reveal the truth. He can't explain how his life has always been a lie. How can he look anybody in the face and tell them what's going on when the depths of the truth cannot come to be? No, he has to live with knowing that his brother is out there and stuck in an unfortunate position. He can run after him but there's no telling if he'll be able to save him.

He has to live with all of that while seeing this person who has charmed him in a way that nobody else ever has faced with all kinds of danger. It's hard to say if he's as deeply in love with you as he is on his Route, but you’re special. There's something about you that just makes him happy and he wants to protect you. Even if it's hard to see you happy with another person. 

But, who is he but someone who is willing to give up all of his selfish desires to make sure that somebody else is happy? Maybe this time by making sure that you're happy with somebody else, he'll know for certain that you won't be destroyed like his brother was. 

[sexysilverstrider]

I would love to see a you rank all the dating sim games you’ve played from best to worst!

hello hello! sorry for the late reply! i wanna reply this with a read more but i cant do it on mobile hhh BUT IM ON LAPTOP NOW HAHA lets do this :3c

take note that these are the otome games ive played so far. and when i say otome games, i meant actual dating sim games where the aim of the game is getting to your favourite characters good end in their route. so im excluding any non-main dating games like fire emblem and rune factory and the like. LETS BEGIN

FAFAR’S TOP 11 OTOME GAMES

11

TWILIGHT BLOOD

the only reason i downloaded this game was uhhh hot guys. the story was mediocre tbh. no voice acting. relies too much on sexy scenes with was fun at the first few chapters but then eh :// also if u wanna be a f2p it sucks coz they practically force u to pay to move on with the story and yeah....not worth it. 2/10

10

Love Story of Share House

made by HUNEX.CO, the games about mc moving to a share house with a bunch of hot dudes. The DreamTM. no voice acting but the characters are bearable. ive played the meganes route because thats who i am as a person and mr moustache man. latters route was okay. the story does have smutty elements so that surprised me tbh hahahha. its okay imo and u can be f2p to finish each route :) 4/10

9

My Horse Prince

can you BELIEVE this game got better ranks than the previous two??? its about mc wooing a horse. with a mans head. horses body. i cannot simplify this enough. the reason it beating the 2 games before is because it made me lose my shit SO MUCH i remembered tears coming out of my eyes coz this game is a fcking ride. mc has 1 braincell and its for the sexy horse man. f2p and im thankful for that. no voice acting and honestly im glad it doesnt. 5/10

8

Hatoful Boyfriend

a classic game. no voice acting. there ARE gijinkas and drama cds however outside of the main game. in the main game u get to date pigeons. actual pigeons. i believe this game was unironically enjoyable like 10-15 years ago. dont be fooled by the pigeons. some of their routes can be EMOTIONALLY NASTY. i cried at one of the pigeons. i lost sleep but its what i deserve. 5/10

7

Hakuoki

my first ever dating sim game!! hence the 3ds picture. full voice acting. it was p enjoyable and while i know the steam version covers most of what the 3ds lacks, i love playing the routes and this was the first game tht traumatized me at the sight of a bad end. sadly not a fan of the canon route despite me loving stoic emotionally guarded characters. i do enjoy the other routes and okita souji has my heart and soul i love and hate him. 6/10

6

Ephemeral

another game by HUNEX.CO. compared to the share house game, i ADORE this one. its surprisingly a sweet mobile otome game! f2p friendly! no voice acting, but they make it up with the story and characters. basically u got tsundere wolf. baby invisible man. yandere mummy. bastard but then gets soft to you vampire. guess who i love in the end. also sidenote the reason this gets higher ranks is the vampires routes alone (they have dating route AND lovers route all in one game) and also the invisible mans route broke me as a person. i hate it. so much. oh my god. 7/10

5

Amnesia

my second otomate/aksys game! when i found it its sold in google store i legit bought it and left my assignments to play flksdnfjdbf. full voice acting. VERY interesting stories. v intense stories too so its not fun playing at night lol sometimes. all the characters are loveable to each players ref. some of the routes do irk me which sucks coz i have to finish all in order to unlock the canon route. i DO love the canon character so its fine. this game is the game that introduced me to fear in a form of a toma. 8/10

4

Code: Realize

HONESTLY A GAME WHERE I LIKE ALL THE CHARACTERS LMAOOO!! all the routes are great and the full voice acting has me scream. a lot. also they have A LOT of post stories that are released internationally so it makes me love the characters (saint-germain) even more. i believe this is the game that actually made me love the yandere. so i gotta give kudos to that. the canon route is really lovable! the stories can be a mix of cute and angst so its a wild ride when i played it ;w;b 9/10

3

Ikemen Sengoku

honestly one of my fav and long-running mobile otome game!! the game is f2p but you need to be veeery patient to finish one route (in my case i sometimes am patient. other times im not). partially voiced. the best thing about this game is THERE IS A LOT OF CHOICES LMAOO n youre not obligated to do a route of a character youre not too keen. the characters are both lovable and stupid. the mc has 1 braincell and shes using it to helps these hot morons. sugitan is there. bfkdjbfdkj also the stories are smutty and its so goood i remembered screaming a lot. their stories range from funny to sad to angsty to romantic its a roller coaster ride. 9/10

2

Collar x Malice

i LOVE all the characters. i LOVE all the routes. i even love the villain of this series. which is why it gets number 2 in my book. the stories can get intense but when the cute romantic funny parts hit it hits you off guard and it just makes u laugh or scream or cry or all in 1. im a big kaji yuki fan so to finally get to play a game where kaji yukis character is in it just earns this game a top spot in my heart. a very special spot too considering his character is my fav character and route hehehhe! its sequel is coming out (n im getting it tmrrw eyy). love it so much! and the canon character is easily my 2nd fav character too! 10/10

1

Mystic Messenger

this game easily ruined my sleep schedule. at one point my body automatically woke up at 3 am at the single sound of a beep EVERY TIME. just to text some fictional characters. i even got out of class once to respond to jumins call. i hate this game. the games gameplay is so unique and fun and all the characters are very VERY lovable. i love all the characters and their routes. while the voice acting happens during certain cgs (full voice in all scenes in vs and saerans routes) it redeems itself with the amazing voice calls. i laughed A LOT whole playing this game. its absolutely amazing. did you know that i bawled in saerans route? bawled? as in cried in absolute anguish and sobbed nonstop? and stared at the blank screen????????? once in front of my own mother and again alone in the darkness of my own room? my heart was shattered in pieces and it literally felt as if the love of my life is gone for good. 11/10

[mits-archive]

blushes while drawing // self indulgent saeran

[vtsvro]

Finishing Ray Route leaves back a feeling of relief, happiness, lingering pain - and a lot of unanswered questions.

[rawwrchie]

you need to be happy... you must, MC... my first and last love.

[admiringsaeran]

saeran head cannons!!! (saeyoung is in here too!)

• saeran helped jumin realize (after his ae) that V is a good person who just wants the best for the rfa! he also lets him know that V just screwed up big time but he just wanted the best for rika, saeyoung and saeran at the end of the day. after saeran helps jumin with his thoughts about V saeran is basically his new bff and jumin invites saeran over for wine almost every saturday and saeran even talks jumin into giving jaehee a break!!! (cause we all know she needs one +_+)

• yall go on ice cream dates and saeyoung almost always joins yall (you better not mind after everything those two have been through 😒 /lh) and you guys get strawberry ice cream together!!!! 😞

• when yall go to a amusement park for the first time he doesnt know what he is signing up for. deadass you will be freaking out and he'll be like "it wont be that bad 😁" but on the actual ride hes the first one screaming about how he loves you while holding on to your arm screaming his lungs out while saeyoung is behind yall laughing

• he wakes you up by kissing all over your face!!!! he'll kiss your cheek, forehead, chin, eye lids,,,,,basically anything he can lay his lips on. and when you wake up he kisses you on your lips and asks you about your dream, if you didnt have one he will tell you about his dream!!! (he does it regardless but when you dont have a dream baby goes alllllll out!!)

• he definitely sings and or hums you to sleep!! (i mean he literally does it in his route) and if you ask he will tell you a story, he will tell the weirdest of stories but like at the same time mans will go all out.

• he LOVES when you hold his face like he will drop everything hes doing and just stare at you like 😮

• HE ALSO LOVES HEADPATS,,,,,pat this mans head and he will do whatever you want (i mean he would do anything for you either way BUT STILL)

• saeran and saeyoung havent watched any disney movies growing up for obvious reasons, so it would be up to you to change that. im talking cuddling up with saeran while saeyoung cuddle ups with saeran and just watching tangled or frozen together.

• on the topic of disney movies EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. the brothers watch frozen they cry, STRAIGHT UP SOB. both of them would be a wreck after that movie so you would have to comfort saeran AND saeyoung lmao 😩🙌

• saeran would play roblox for the first time and would be sad abt them not having his hair and saeyoung would deadass hack the game and give it to him for free 🙌

• on the subject of roblox he would like childish games on there like the completely normal elevator game, royal high or meep city and would force you and saeyoung to play with him.

• i also feels like hes terrified of dogs, not in a "AHHH A DOG" type way but more of a "does this dog hate me????" type of way, and if your dog bites (if you even have one lol) he will immediately think your dog hates his guts and would be sad for the next week. so because of that he prefers cats!!!! plus he loves how he can cuddle cats and just lay down with them (and you) and chill!

• he would be so scared to propose to you!!! vanderwood, saeyoung, and zen would have to basically BULLY him into proposing. i feel like he would be more afraid of you feeling obligated to say yes, feeling bad for saying no or being uncomfortable with the whole idea. so he would be too scared to ask on your behalf, he really just wants you to be happy.

• you guys will definitely be living with saeyoung!! but i feel like when your relationship gets to the next point you two will move out. saeyoung would totally understand though!!! just like saeran he wants nothing but happiness for his brother and you <33

• he would have a big garden filled with flowers and he would have a youtube channel where he talked about what the flowers name is and what the meaning behind the flower is, how to plant it etc. etc.

• saeran CANT swim like at all because of his past he never rlly got the opportunity to learn so you will have to teach this man how to swim. hes like so fucking lanky and awkward so its hard for him to even stay afloat in the water. (hes like a noodle 😩) but let me tell you this. IF YOU ALMOST DROWN HE WILL JUMP IN THE WATER SO FUCKING FAST,,,, MAN WILL SWIM LIKE HES BEEN SWIMMING HIS WHOLE LIFE PLS, after that happens yall will not be going to the pool anytime soon

[spitdrunken]

please talk about your longfic ideas! they're so wonderful, you gotta share them (this is a threat /lh)

leave it to my gf to send me the ask i want LOL <3333 /lh

i have two ideas!! one for mystic messenger, and one for twisted wonderland :")! i've had both of these for years but never really wrote anything for them. one of them is about ray/suit/saeran, and the other one is about the leech twins. 

mystic messenger spoilers ahead!

the first one would essentially be a rewrite of ray's route! with reader being younger than MC would be, and them developing somewhat of a sibling-like relationship. (without any weird shit like i usually write lmao). i think it would be very interesting cuz it reflects saeran and saeyoung's relationship more!

on one hand, it's taking ray's desire for control to another level, cuz he thinks someone younger would likely be quicker to depend on him... but when he actually grows to like you and see you as a younger sibling, he starts wanting to treat you well in a way to spite his brother.

he wants to 'show him' how easy it is to be an older sibling, to take care of someone so close to you, how easy it is not to abandon them. he becomes partly obsessed with the idea of being the best for you because of this. his fear of you leaving him is basically a fear of the past repeating itself, being left behind his family again.

when he eventually is drugged enough into becoming suit, he hurts you because you remind him too much of his past self. weak, and young, and naive. suit hasn't forgiven his child self (or ray) for acting the way they did, and he takes this out on you. in the end, he's hit with the realisation that he has become his mother, in a way, and is wrecked by guilt.

saeran decides, then and there, that the cycle of hurt will stop here. that it will end with him. you end up forgiving him :')

(obviously this would all be more detailed in the final fic... the way im thinking of it right now is just one chapter per day in mystic messenger. i haven't played his after ending yet so who knows how that would fit in but yeah.)

as for the floyd and jade idea, it would basically be unhealthy relationships all aorund HAHA it would be more of a collection of oneshots than a full fic like the one above but,, essentially reader would be a heartslaybul student who is just like. obsessed with the leech twins LMAO (i feel like all heartslaybul students kinda have a,, hidden or less immediately obvious side to them? i saw someone calling them twofaced and that describes it i think HAHA reader would usually be someone more quiet and then their obsessiveness is the ‘hidden’ side of them. the selfishness that is characteristic of NRC students would, in them, basically be something like wanting to own all of someone else’s attention.)

they would be friends with rook as well!! he’s a rather bad influence on them LMAO i think writing their interactions would be very entertaining :’) as for the leech twinsss,, they don’t really like it at first! i like to think that it progresses into amusing for them into eventually forming a similar attachment <3 but they’re much more violent about it!! reader has a backstory as to why they’re like that as well. 

[joy1579]

RFA (plus saeran) with an MC that leaves when she gets angry (don’t worry they all make up)

so this took me all day but i want to try writing something everyday so here ya’ll go let me know if y’all like it. also i just noticed how often i misspell the names and i ask for mercy i have dyslexia and i really am trying to catch these things.

Jumin

-        You two rarely argued but when you did it tended to bring out EVERYTHING past and present

-        You couldn’t even remember what exactly had sparked the argument

-        Something about not eating, or was it because you had worked yourself to exhaustion two days ago

-        Whatever the reason both of you were angry.

-        You knew he cared about you, knew that behind the anger was fear and love

-        That didn’t make his stern and angry voice more tolerable though

-        Didn’t soften his piercing gaze or ease your own frustration

-        “okay. I’m done fighting Jumin.” You say coldly cutting him off mid-sentence

-        “what” he asked looking for intents and purposes like you had slapped him across the face unexpectedly

-        “I’m done Jumin. I’m not doing this anymore. I’m going for a walk; I’ll be home by dinner.”

-        “your leaving me?” he asked cautiously afraid of the answer

-        “if I were leaving you I would have just left. I wouldn’t have told you I’d be back. I’m just, I’m done fighting.”

-        And with that, you were out the door.

-        3 hours later you hung your coat up in the penthouse entry way and met your husband at the dinner table

-        “I’m sorry” both of you said simultaneously

-        You put your hand up to quiet him as you see the question in his face before he can even ask

-        “I know I can’t just leave like that. It’s not good to just shut down a conversation like that. I just I hate fighting, I hate being angry and arguing. I’d rather simply not do it. You know?”

-        “better than you could imagine my love”

Yoosung

-        “I wasn’t flirting with him!

-        “he was flirting with you though!”

-        “I can’t control what he does yoosung”

-        “you could have walked away!”

-        “I was pay- no you know what. No” you put your hands up and turned to leave the kitchen where you too where arguing as you put away the groceries

-        “wait, we, we were talking” yoosung spluttered as you tugged your coat back on and grabbed your purse

-        “no yoosung you were talking, you were talking if you want you can keep talking, you’ll get just as far in the argument as you would if I were here so go ahead. Me I’m going to go get a drink at the cat café. I’ll call you when I’m on my way back”

-        Then you were gone. Door shut surprisingly gently behind you

-        And yoosung was left alone angry and confused

-        So he did what he always did when he needed to process emotions, he played LOLOL

-        You called on your way home just as you said you would but when he didn’t answer he couldn’t help the sigh that fell from your lips

-        “yoosungie? I’m sorry I bailed on you. You know I don’t deal with frustration well, but that’s no excuse. I shouldn’t have walked out like that. I’m on my home. See you soon puppy.” You mumbled into the phone as you left a voicemail

-        As soon as you walked through the door he was on you with the tightest hug you had ever felt

-        “MC! I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you leave I just I saw the guy at the store and the way he looked at you I guess I kind of freaked out”

-        You couldn’t help yourself, not when he was nuzzling his face into your hair and rubbing your back as he hugged you

-        “puppy!” You cooed pulling back to fluff his hair a bit “I love you” you laughed at the rising blush on his cheeks and kissed his nose

Saeyoung

-        You only fight when seven is closing himself off again. Most of the time when this happens you can usually simply love him through it

-        But every now and then you got frustrated. Frustrated that he still didn’t trust you frustrated that he still thought you were better off without him. After all this time everything you’ve been through he still doesn’t understand how much you love him

-        That what led to this fight. He was shutting you out again

-        “MC seriously I’m trying to work I don’t have tim-“

-        “saeyoung I’m leaving. I’ll be back, I don’t know later I guess I’ll take the routes with cameras so you don’t have to worry”

-        “what? MC you can’t just”

-        “I can. I am. See ya”

-        So you left before he could say anything else.

-        You took the CCTV covered routes and purposefully avoided looking at the cameras.

-        He called you a couple of times and you made sure he saw you see the call on your phone before you decline the call.

-        When you finally calm down you make your way home and find him at his computer.

-        You sit on the floor next to his chair and pull out your phone texting him a quick sorry message and telling him you’ll be right beside him whenever he finishes working.

-        After a while you feel his hand in your hair and you hum contentedly knowing that you two could get through this

-        Just like you had gotten through everything else

Zen

-        He hurt himself. Again. You had warned him that he was pushing himself to hard and he still pushed.

-        Now he was hurt and out of commission for 2 days and you had more work to do than ever.

-        You loved this man really you did, but between the upcoming RFA party, the new fan club coordination position you had taken up, and being his manager you were feeling frustrated and overwhelmed

-        So once he was settled in bed and safe you told him you had to run some errands

-        “ugh you were right jagi I’m sorry”

-        You damn right I was right

-        “listen to me.” You said coldly “I love you, but if you get up from that bed while I’m gone, I will throw the TV through that door and then post that video of you after you met Elly, swollen face and all.”

-        That shut him up fast. Looking at his mouth opening and closing as he looked for something to say almost made you feel bad. Almost.

-        “I’m just, I’m angry right now and I need some time to calm down. I love you but you have to give me a bit. I promise I’ll be back soon” you explained with a sigh.

-        And so here you were sitting on your laptop at local café and posting an update for Zen’s fan club.

-        It had only been 15 minutes but you already felt bad for leaving him alone. So you began to pack up. That was until you noticed a new message on your latest post.

-        The fans wanted to put together a collection for Zen’s injury. That actually gave you a good idea

-        30 minutes and 48 different emails later and you were ready, this would be perfect and you couldn’t wait to get back to your zenny

-        When you got home you were relieved to find zen asleep and not waiting up for you as you worried he might. You kissed his forehead and set to work connecting your laptop to the TV.

-        When he woke up you helped him to the couch and just before you showed him what you and his fans had put together you set of a camera

-        “jagi? What is all this?” he asked laughing a little at all the stuff you had set up

-        “trust me Zenny you’ll love it and so will they. I just know it”

-        You played a compilation of the videos the fans had sent you of them wishing Zen well and telling him how much they loved his work. Video fan mail would definitely lift his spirits.

-        Not to mention posting his reaction would make the fans happy.

Jaehee

-        Cake burned, coffee spilled, cat hair everywhere.

-        day ruined

-        You were dog tired and so done with today when an equally tired and grumpy jaehee stumbles from the cafes back office

-        “MC what, it’s a wreck in here!” she exclaims

-        “really? I hadn’t noticed.” You replied sardonically before sighing “I know I’m working on it right now.”

-        “no it’ll be faster if I do it you just go, go make dinner at home” you could hear the edge in her voice and couldn’t help but respond in kind

-        “You know I’m not the one who let the cat in right?” you almost spat

-        “I didn’t say you did MC.” She sighed rubbing her temples

-        It had all started about 2 hours ago when a child had let in a street cat to get it out of the deluge outside. The ensuing chaos led to shutting early and trying to desperately heard a scared and soaked cat outside into a slowly fading rainstorm.

-        Needless to say that the café you two had worked so hard for was currently in shambles.

-        “fine. Your right. It’s probably faster if you just go it alone.” You muttered before stalking out the door and into the rain.

-        You had only made it half a block before you felt the rain stop

-        But it hadn’t stopped. You looked around only to see jaehee holding an umbrella over your head

-        You couldn’t help the breathless laugh the left you

-        “I guess I wasn’t thinking when I left was I”

-        “I wasn’t thinking when I told you to leave. So we’re even.”

Saeran

-        you knew this wasn’t about you

-        it was about the new councilor, who had mentioned his mother

-        it was about seven doting over him about his medicine

-        it was about everything and everyone smothering him

-        so you told yourself again and again that this screaming wasn’t about you

-        you tried to be understanding and most of the fights ended with the catharsis of a tantrum and the comfort of a gentle hug

-        this was not most times

-        “I should have just left you at mint eye where you belong!”

-        You had worked so hard to support his recovery. You were used to insults, used to frustration

-        But he said this quietly, seething and dark and you were angry.

-        You felt your stare go icy and saw his eyes widen in surprise

-        You didn’t get angry often and he was always surprised when you did

-        “saeran. I’m leaving for a while. I’ll come back when I calm down”

-        “you can’t just leave”

-        “I couldn’t leave at mint eye but I can now” you spat without even looking back at him

-        “you wouldn’t dare!”

-        “I will be back when I calm down” you said slowly before finally walking out the door

-        He was furious, and with no one to point his anger at he paced his room.

-        As his anger faded he felt the all too familiar regret and guilt wash over him as he let himself fall backwards on his bed

-        You had been gone for quite a while and he wondered balefully if this would be the time you didn’t come back to him

-        It had to happen sooner or later after all

-        You had left nearly an hour ago and you could still feel the cold and icy grip of anger on your heart. You really had to do something, anything with this feeling.

-        you yelled. You raged and spat and cursed alone in the middle of the woods. Primal scream therapy, your mother had called it; cathartic your father had said. All you knew was you felt better and Saeran didn’t have to take the brunt of it.

-        When you returned you saw saeran laying on the bed and you cleared you throat as you stood in the door way. He sat up and eyed you in clear surprise

-        “your back” he said simply as though you hadn’t told him you would return.

-        You chided yourself when you remembered all the people in his life that HADNT returned

-        “it’ll take more than a raised voice a few mean words to get rid of me” you said making your way to sit next to him

-        “you just left.” He mumbled not meeting your eye’s

-        “I know. I shouldn’t have done that. I was very angry and I didn’t want to say something I’d regret. Next time I Promise to try to calm down here instead of leaving.”

-        “I don’t like when you leave”

-        “I don’t like leaving”

-        These quiet moments were few and far between, but you cherished them, they meant progress.

[apenapaperandadoofus]

HEY BUDDY. HOWS LIFE?

YO GIRL! (ooh get dat reference pft)

Life is great for me rn! Imma do a graduation thingie for school tomorrow and we’re ordering food from one of my favorite cafes, so I’m pretty excited right now

Thenn THERES ALSO YA BOIS AE WHOOOOOOP

I cannot EXPLAIN how excited I am lmao, righttt now it’s 1:30 am so I have to wait till 9 to get started but I still can’t wait AMDNBDFBBDA

I saw you were starting V’s route, how’s that holding up (it’s an emotional wrecking route lmao Another Story really went lemme fuck everyones emotions over pft) so good luck with that!

Also in the end what happened with the pen?? Can’t believe the old one really decided to just die that lil’ bastard :( Have you gotten the new one yet? I really hope you have (or that you get it soon) because I can’t wait to see more of your AMAZING drawings! 👀 Oh! And how about you? How are you doing?

Oh and I hope you have a wonderful day! And whenever you get around to playing Saeran’s AE tell me so we can talk all about it, I wanna know what you think! (Also Jumin’s DLC!!!)

Sending lots of hugs!!! 💕🤗

(And thanks for the ask it really made my day -even if it’s almost 2am lmao)

[ozwowfia]

Spoilers for mystic messenger unknown/ray/saeran route

IM ON DAY 10 OF SAERAN’S ROUTE

AND IT IS ALL WORTH IT

The whole route i was so stressed like IF HIS GOOD ENDING IS NOT HIM BEING HAPPY AND SAFE AND ESCAPING THIS SHIT HOLE ALIVE. I DO N T WANT IT

AND IM GETTING IT. HES HAPPY. HES SAFE. PLEASE LET THIS LAST OR I WILL BE EMOTIONALLY WRECKED

Who am i kidding i already am

He said ray or saeran, call me what you please

AND I SAID I AM CALLING YOU SUNSHINE BECAUSE YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE AND I LOVE YOU 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[marshmallowprotection]

Kait Reacts To The AE 5/?

Hi! These reactions are written out every time a Chatroom opens and it’s done over the course of the day. So, you’re watching me react in real time as it is for me. So, Spoilers AHOY. Expect Another post like this later today, there is just too many chats to put it all in one post. So, hey, if you click this, you’re opening yourself to spoilers, you make the choice.

[11:37] 

Rika is with Saeyoung. They sent him over and there’s no denying that fact. She sends a picture not even a second after we can enter the chatroom and lets us know that he’s with him. I didn’t know that it would happen this fast and my real fear right now was something I thought about when they took Saeyoung in the first place and he was willing to go down for Saeran and the player. My brain said, when they send him to Rika, this is going to be like what happened in the Hunger Games with Peeta and the tracker jackers. I know that he’s going to tell lies and be willing to go along with it, but this is Rika. 

Rika will manipulate and hurt others to get what she wants. I don’t care if she says she’s changed. She’s showing us who she really is and how she has not changed in the slightest, and now it’s even worse because we have to go up against her once again and V. V, I’m not even going to get started. You’ve dug a hole in the sand and shoved your head in, no matter what happens, you would never be able to remove Saeran or Saeyoung from the agency, the Prime Minister or Rika. 

Rika makes her point really clear. She says that the boys will never be able to change their fate or escape. The Prime Minister wants to use them and it does not matter what happens, they’re going to come after Saeran. They’re going to keep them “healthy” enough to go out in public and lie to the media and the world about what’s really happening. Saejoong promised the agency a lot of money and things are going to burn down if we cannot change anything. We have a good picture. 

The boys are going to be kept captive until they die, or serve their purpose. I’m just so fucking angry right now at Rika and everyone that uses these poor boys because they don’t fucking deserve this. Stop making me right with my guesses, Cheritz. I guess I know Rika better than I want. What stands out the most is the fact that Rika does this after you say that you don’t trust her with the boys: 

Rika: I know why you think that.

Rika: But Now...

Rika: I have no intention of repeating my past failures. 

And then, she does this and that tells me all I need to know: 

It wasn’t enough that Saeyoung was willing to burn to ashes in the light of your sun, Rika. You’re going to do to him what you did to Saeran. You haven’t at all changed and you’ve proven to me what kind of person you are. This isn’t okay and it will never okay. This isn’t what they want and if you really cared for both Saeyoung and Saeran, you wouldn’t be doing this. You wouldn’t be trying to do this at all.

You would be helping us. 

Not making deals. 

Anyways... after I nearly snapped my phone in half because Rika was getting on my nerves again. I opened the Visual Novel. We’re meeting with Vanderwood now to talk about what happened... yeah, the trust is very thin here but it’s all we have and got to do what we can. Vanderwood makes it clear that he’s with Rika and that yes, they’ll be after Saeran once they get Elizabeth.

So, Elly is in danger now. But, we can’t worry about that right now. We have to worry about Saeyoung. Vanderwood reveals that Saeyoung is being kept at V’s place in the mountains, there’s agents in and out constantly. My trust in V is so low right now because he can’t change what’s happening, he’s just letting it go on and... I’m upset with him, I’m disappointed, and it’s complicated. Trust me, leaving a bad relationship isn’t easy but his eyes are dark and sullen.

 He’s resigned himself and I don’t know if he can come back from this anymore. 

Either way, Vanderwood is willing to sneak us into the place. It’s going to be easy for Saeran, but... sorry players that don’t identify as female, but it says that female agents aren’t common and we’re going to have to split up. As in, we can’t be with Saeran by his side. We’ll have to be with Vanderwood and use them as a cover to sneak in. 

What’s worse is Saeran... knows that with the drugs, they’re going to try and really warp Saeyoung like they did to him. I fear for him 

I really don’t want to separate from him. But, it’s all we have to do. Saeran asks if we want to go back to C&R again, but I just. I can’t leave him. I don’t know if it is the right thing to do here, but if we’re going down, we’re going down together and I can’t leave him alone. We’ve always been in this together and we need to see it through to the end. 

I just... there’s agents switching out every two days. It’s like a prison. I don’t even know what to think. We have to part. Saeran doesn’t want to do it. I want to hold his hand, like I said, I’ve told him that we’re in this together and that gives me a heart so that’s a good thing. All I know is that we’re clinging together with this hope that we can be together and Saeyoung will be safe too... 

And then we cut back to the boardroom of C&R. They’re planning on getting rid of Chairman Han and Jumin. They know that there’s not really any way to come back from what’s happening right now. Everyone thinks that they shouldn’t have even done this because the Prime Minister is involved with a lot of shady groups and they’re not wrong. It’s looking bad for Jumin. I don’t know how this is going to turn out to be honest with you. 

I’m worried about everyone. 

[13:15]

Oh, boy. This was a heavy chatroom and visual novel. I cannot even express to you what was going on inside of my head because I’m still reeling from what’s to happening and what’s to come and what may not come. I don’t know, I actually thought I hit bad ending when I got to the visual novel but I didn’t, so it must be the natural order of what’s happening. Anyway, Jumin’s awake now and he is... I don’t know how he keeps himself together, I envy that. He says he will not show his feelings in this messenger where the enemies can see it. 

But, he’s been stabbed in the back by the people he trusted most, and he’s losing everything that he ever had, and he still wishes that he could do more to help Saeran and Saeyoung. We can’t tell them completely what happened, not really, you can say what you know about the deal with the Prime Minister but not much else. You need to make sure that you’re watching what you share. The video that Saeyoung did... they saw it, and it’s just... wrecking everything so fast and hard.

Zen actually tries to reach out to Jumin but... he says in a text later than he’s never seen him so broken up before. I hate to see it. I really do. I don’t want that for them but we’re crashing right now and I’m struggling to see how we’re going to get our way out. Jumin wants answers from his father so he has to leave and see him about the deal with Seven, etc. We wish him the best but... God, I feel bad. 

This Visual Novel makes you hate and scream and cry all at the same time. There is just too much happening all at once for me to deal with it, to be utterly honest with you. Jumin goes to the board and he resigns before they can get him off the job. He takes everything. He takes all of the blame. He says that it is his fault. He was leading the RFA. He was doing this, he was doing that. He takes it and lets it be. It kind of hurts, he’s keeping it all balled up inside at this point and... I don’t know. 

I hate to see it. He’s doing this... and he needs to see his father, now. I have a hard time trying to think about how Jumin is going to come out of this. I don’t know how he’s going to react because... with V’s Route and Secret Endings, it was a lot different and it was more fixated on Rika. It wasn’t like this. It wasn’t him being stabbed by Rika, V, the Prime Minister, and the Agency. He risked all he has and all he knows for us. 

He always will. 

Don’t ever doubt that faith he has in the RFA. 

I just... hate to see him hurting when he wants to continue to help us no matter the cost. 

We go with Vanderwood and Saeran has gone his own way for the time being so we can get things done... or so we want to think. I was really kind of rooting for you, Vanderwood, but I’m not upset that you wound up tricking me here for your life. They make it clear they’ll do things but they’re not gonna die for anyone or anything. I’m upset but I’m not mad at them like I’m mad at Rika or V right now cause I know what they’re up against. 

To be fair, I’m not totally... well, I think Vanderwood let Saeran get away here, but we also know that we can be used as leverage against Saeran. It’s kind of hard to say where it’s heading from here. I’m straining, but I know that Rika is going to try to manipulate us to get Saeran too. I refuse. At least Vanderwood felt a bit of remorse for this. 

But, Rika? No. Not with what I see. She planned this out. They all knew what they could do if they got Saeran and us. However, they only got us. But, I know this woman is going to use that to get what she wants. I don’t know what to expect but maybe we can find Saeyoung and... talk to him, I don’t know how he will be or how might play out because... the drugs.

I’m still trying to discern what poisons she’s using but I’ve yet to discern what type of plants are involved in my research thus far when I’m not writing out these as I’m playing. 

I can’t leave out the phone call because. V calls. V calls and he’s... I don’t know what the heck is up with him. I don’t know how... I don’t know what’s going on in his head and that really bothers me. This chat has two notes in it that really are bothering me. They are on opposite ends of the spectrum in terms of what he is doing. I’m having a hard time trying to read V and this is a first for me because I’m used to knowing what he is going to do but I’ve hit a wall. 

There is a part of him that knows this is wrong. But, he is denying his reality as he lets Rika into his heart thinking this is the only way to save her and to ensure nothing worse happens. I don’t know how much he’s lying to himself here about this. I think he’s just... lost, broken and. It’s hard to say, if this was all he said to me then I wouldn’t be so livid. If you know it’s wrong, stop this, stop doing all of this and stop Rika, V. 

You know it’s not right. Stop letting this happen. 

How am I supposed to feel about this V? You act like you’re caring but then you tell me something you would have told Rika years ago...? You like to watch me? What the fuck does that even mean? I’m not interested in what you’re selling to me here and I don’t want this. I won’t give up Saeran nor will I let Rika have him, I don’t know what’s wrong with you and why you’ve become who you have, I do not know nor did I ever think this was the extreme length of what you would do for Rika. 

I never thought you’d be an active player in this. But, you are. So, I’m torn here quite a bit and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust you again, V. You said you want Saeran to come. You know what happens if he does. I will not let that ever happen. Nobody will get him. 

God, what’s worse is: 

Of course. Saeyoung isn’t going to be the same if Rika gets her way, and we both know it. He’s not going to “stay that way” because she’s going to get him everything she did to Saeran and more. I’m not going to let that happen, either, I’m not going to let these boys hurt. I’m not changing my mind. Nobody is going to trick me with mind games. Been there, done that, Rika is about two decades too late. 

Yikes, you know? What the hell, man. 

[15:33]  Vanderwood is in trouble. They were meant to give us both over but he made sure that Saeran was gone and safe. We were the easier option hand over since we don’t really hold a lot of power or use in a way, they just need us to be able to get to Saeran and that makes sense, frankly. 

They’re... forlorn in a way, and I was right, they are willing to go out on a limb but they’re not going to die. They have been living this long and did whatever it took to survive. 

From a personal safety means, I understand why they’re doing it. I know that they do feel remorse. So, that sucks. I want to be able to help them too because they rightly deserve to be out of this. Oh, and we learn that they’ve been at this for twelve years, so in my mental game of trying to gauge their age, I’m roughly gonna say late-late twenties and early thirties. 

So, that’s something fun that we’re learning here! I don’t think I’m that far off, they said “Since they were young,” so that implies that they went through what Saeyoung went through. Saeyoung went in when he was really young as well so I have to gauge their age using that scale, you know? 

Well, I have to at least say that I better understand them than I did before and I learned a lot from this conversation. 

Oh, great. It’s my favorite time of day. Not. We’re sitting down with Rika and she’s made a point of warning us not to bother with Saeyoung. He’s getting to sleep while they’re pumping him with... I don’t know if we can call it the elixir but it’s something of the same caliber because Saeran is nearly immune to it after it was laced in the elixir. He took it so long that his tolerance of such is slim to none and that’s why their plan didn’t work from the start. Rika knows that Saeran isn’t going to leave us or Saeyoung.

I won’t feed into her, and I’ve noticed that I’ve gotten hearts when I’m utterly blunt with Rika. I appreciate that. This is a much better tone than what I had to deal with in V’s AE. I don’t want to forgive her and I never will, because she is proving to do this over and over again until she’s forced to stop, literally, by being taken away. 

I have a better idea of what’s going on with Rika now, though, thanks to her being her usual self. She tells outright what she’s thinking right now and makes her phone clear that she thinks she’s fulfilling Saeyoung’s dream, but we see the truth in her lies. This isn’t about Saeyoung. You can tell her that bluntly. This is not the boy’s dream. This is what you want. This was never about them. This is about what you want. 

You’re doing this for you and not the boys. If you tell her that, she sighs, and makes a point about how the world is harsh. She says if you want to be knocked down then you should bend, and if you want to be strong, then that means that you need to join the strongest, no matter how much that means the monsters are... the worst people alive. 

She says she and V decided to do this. I’m still trying to figure out V here but I’m not going to trust him anymore. I know I can’t trust Rika. I’ve known that from the very start. Rika just says that this is a waiting game after this, she says it’s only a matter of time until Saeran comes... tonight... tomorrow. It matters not, he is going to come and she will have him as she wants him. It ends with her telling us to wait, shall we?

Oh, and Jumin’s new of resigning is on television, we know now. We know things are doomed. 

I’m relieved after this wave of nausea, because Saeran calls. He escaped because of Vanderwood and he’s back to C&R. Nobody knows where he is and it needs to stay that way. He talked to Jumin. He’s made sure that nobody can try to trace him. Saeran thinks that Jumin is going to continue to try to help us just without C&R funds... and I expect that, I think. But at the same time, I’m really worried given what Zen said earlier. 

Saeran’s decided that the way to save Saeyoung is defeating Saejoong and the agency, and I agree. Our future has no hope unless they burn. He does his best to reassure us. He knows that they won’t hurt us... he wants to think they won’t hurt us because they want him, and until they have him, they can’t do anything to us. 

I think what I fear the most here is that... they’re not going to let me go. I know he wants to be hopeful but. They’re not going to let me go if they catch him. It’s obvious they’ll kill me and get me out of the way the second they get the chance, or worse, they’ll use the player as leverage to get Saeran to obey onward until the drugs are back in his system like they’re trying to do to Saeyoung or—

God, what if they try to drug us, too? 

What if we’re pawns as well? 

It isn’t up to V and Rika, after all. This is the Prime Minister. 

[the-impossible-bitch]

wait what? ain't Ray and Saeran the same person?😳😳 did I just get it all wrong?! and I agreeeee I can't handle the feels🤧 awwwh jaehee's route was so damn cute and soft💙💙💙 okay this is bit complicated, my all time fav li is Zennyyyy! (he reminds me of seonghwa okay🙄) but! my fav character gotta be seven! in all routes seven stole my heart, in his route I was a wreck.. THEN SAERAN COMES ALONG AND IM COMPLETELY NAJSNWKSNSJ ilofehim😞 wait wait wait DID YOU POST THEM?!

NO WAIT SHIT I MEANT SAEYOUNG BSJDNDJDJD SEVEN BBY IM SO SORRY 😭😭😭 I should've kept calling him seven in the first place but nooo

And mdkxmdkx I've never actually thought about that omg he really does remind of seonghwa?? Wait do you have other resemblances like this? I'm curious nskdndid

But that's a mood like seven is just that type of character u can't help but fall in love with and I'm not even mad about it....okay maybe I am mad about it bc I'm the one that suffers at the end 😭. My friend has told me a lil bit about Ray's route and I'm already soft for him without knowing much lmao. Basically I'm soft for all of them eXCEPT Rika like.....i hope u choke

[ladymdc]

*find some words*

Tagged by @whatsherfacewrites​  - thank you dear ❤️

I’ll tag @a-shakespearean-in-paris​, @laraslandlockedblues​​, @dismalzelenka​​, @kauriart​​, @princessvicky01​, @missragdoll84​, @melaena​​, @laurelsofhighever​​, @shannaraisles​ & @schoute​​ (as always, feel free to ignore me or jump in and blame me) -- I’ll give you all the words: EMBRACE, SEA, YESTERDAY, & SINK

Rules: find the four words in your WIPs or published works: AIR, BLINK, SALT, MEMORY

1) Wandering in the Dark, CH14 - Like a ship in the night, well you seen the light on the rock that is wrecking you. (Cullen Rutherford x mage Trevelyan, Noir AU)

The door was closed but unlocked. The curtains were drawn in the office and bedroom making the areas eerily dark. There was also a certain electric charge in the air not unlike the warning of an oncoming storm. Whether it was just the sense of foreboding that came with facing Evelyn after what he had put her through or the literal emotion roiling off the mage, it would not take long to find out.

He didn’t know what to expect when he found her, but he had not anticipated that she would merely be in the bath, drinking. Here, the air felt hazy and low.

Oppressive.

2) Ghosts, CH2 - It doesn't matter if you hate me. (Ray|Choi Saeran/MC, BE1 porn w/plot)

“What— what are you doing?”

“Kissing you,” she said. Really, it had just been the press of their lips together, and it hadn’t felt that much different from any other passing touch. Except his hand had tightened its hold on hers, and Elle liked how he seemed to be keeping her close.

Ray blinked. “Why?”

3) Wandering in the Dark, CH14 - Like a ship in the night, well you seen the light on the rock that is wrecking you. (Cullen Rutherford x mage Trevelyan, Noir AU)

“I imagine he was imprisoned at the Citadel until Evelyn’s cover was neutralized,” he ventured. The building itself was impenetrable, and just having eyes and ears in Denerim was unfeasible for the Resistance. Too much risk, minimal payoff.

“I’m sure, but we won’t be asking,” Dorian said, coming back down the hall with an armful of clothes, a box of saltine crackers, and a bowl of broth.

“Of course not,” Cullen agreed, cheeks heating. “I was merely—“

“It’s adorable how quickly you get flustered when you think you’ve offended,” Dorian said, smirking as Abby grabbed the box of saltines on his way past her.

4) Thump. Thump., CH5 - Uh, Houston, we’ve had a problem. (707|Choi Saeyoung/OC, V route AU)

Her nose wrinkled, adorably. “Ack! I just made an ass out of myself, didn’t I? Pretend I didn’t say that.”

Saeyoung grinned. “Not a chance.”

“Take pity on me.”

“No can do. I have an excellent memory, remember? Plus—“

[shima-draws]

I’M YELLING SO LOUD ANGNSNNFNSN I SHOULD BE ASLEEP BUT I’M HAVING A MERRY OLD TIME

Legit my first reaction to this was to scream

Me: HI??? HI. HI??!!!! H E Y

Saeran’s literally trying to kill me, he’s trying to murder me in cold blood I am going to die

I’m such a goddamn mess these routes are going to wreck me

[lethesomething]

The definitely not definitive otome guide

I sincerely doubt the world needs this, but that sort of thing has never stopped me before. Have an extremely biased guide of several dating sim games, organised by some arbitrary metrics.

Word of warning: this will be long (4k words), because I've played an embarrassingly large amount of otomes.

As a disclaimer: obviously this is a personal opinion. If you (as a lot of people do) enjoy the more forceful bad boy type in your dating sim, I’m not going to judge you. I, however, don’t, so this list is very specifically going to call out games for how they treat the protag.

Featured here: Amnesia: Memories,  Blood in Roses, Cutie Demon Crashers, Destined to Love, Dream Daddy, Hatoful Boyfriend, Hustle Cat,  Ikemen Revolution, Ikemen Sengoku, Lost Alice,  Midnight Cinderella,  Monster Prom, Mystic Messenger

A note on play styles.

These games come in a few flavours, which is important to know if you're gonna try them.

The vast majority of the mobile games here follow a basic visual novel structure. You pick a guy and read through the different chapters, and depending on your answers you'll be leaning toward one of two or three endngs. Since these are free to play mobiles, there's a bunch of challenges you will need to log in daily to pass.  

Mystic Messenger is the main outlier, since it's a chat simulator that plays in real time.

The pc games tend to be more complex, with interlocking routes and more endings, generally. You'll need a number of skill points to meet character A for instance, or you'll need to do a series of actions to reach ending B.

  Great games

Ikemen Sengoku

Hands down one of the best mobile otomes out there right now. I found this when searching for pics of Masamune Date (from a different game) and I've sort of been obsessed with otomes since.

Platform: Android (free to play, pay for premiums) Story: MC gets sucked into a wormhole and finds herself 500 years back in time, in Sengoku era Japan. She drops in on the exact moment where Nobunaga Oda, the Demon King, would be assassinated at Honno-ji. She stops the murder, disrupts the timeline and now there's a bunch of hot warlords vying for her attention. Protagonist’s spine: Reinforced steel. This is one of my favourite protags, because she is Super Sassy and doesn't take shit, unless she's literally being threatened with a sword. The protags where I feel like I understand their actions are few and far between, but this is one of them. Except when she goes far beyond mere bravery to get her man, and decides to forgo tampons and, like, wifi, to live 500 years in the god damn past. Squick factor: Low. This game is made by Cybird, a company that appears very big on consent. The guys generally treat MC with respect, probably more than could be reasonably asked of a Sengoku warlord. The only worrying stuff happens in the Obvious Yandere route, but you kinda know what you're getting yourself into with that one.

The Good: I friggin love the writing for this game. The guys feel like real characters, there's a ton of interaction between them and I need to give this game extra points for the story events, which are almost invariably gold. This is where the makers stop giving a shit about realism and just go for what they want to write. There's ones where all the guys are suddenly idols, there's a Christmas episode, there's one where they battle through cooking and cleaning. It doesn't take itself serious, is what i mean, and it's Hilarious. The Bad: This is one where the in-game art (aside from the CG's) is actually not that great. Hideyoshi's smile is kinda weird looking and the models feel a little outdated at this point. Best Warlord: This is very difficult, because a lot of them are dreamy, but let's just say that I need a Mitsuhide route so very badly.

 Ikemen Revolution

The newest Cybird game and my current fave.

Story: MC falls down the rabbit hole when she tries to give a rushed White Rabbit man something he dropped. She ends up in Cradle/Wonderland, where war is about to break out between the Red and Black army, the Hearts and the Spades. Everyone is hot dudes and MC is considered Alice the Second (after the one from Through the Looking Glass). Squick factor: Low. Again: Cybird game. This means there is steamy situations and sex scenes, but they're blatantly consensual. The routes I've played so far keep well within the bounds of what I would consider romantic. Protagonist’s spine: Varnished wood.  In general MC is self-propelling with occasional bouts of bravery. You can tell why she's doing the things she's doing and how she reacts to situations feels sort of logical. She's hard-working and caring and a little naïve, but the fact that she's canonically a woman from early 19th Century London does put a lot of her actions in perspective (like the amount of bullshit she puts up with).

The Good: The writing is fun. There's a good mix of angst and just… general comedy. The characters interact with each other a lot, and it feels like they're a big loud family, especially in the Black Army, which is more like a frat than anything else. The art is also decent. The backgrounds are utterly gorgeous and most of the guys are very good looking. When I first started the game I was weirded out by the blinking animation, but I have since gotten used to that. The Bad: I found some of the plot rushed. Like you spend so long slow burn growing toward each other, and then suddenly stuff has to happen action movie style because we're running out of chapters. The final chapters of Fenrir's route were just plain dumb. Like could that BE more of an obvious trap. Come on MC, I expected better of you. Also, since this is a very new game, not that many routes are out (four at the time of writing). Best boy: Hooo man. Of the routes that are out, Ray is very… oooof. But my fave chars are probably 'so done' Sirius (the fact that he's voiced by Suwabe has nothing to do with this, surely) and 'also quite done' Kyle, who is both a doctor and an alcoholic wreck of a human being.

 Mystic Messenger

You know Mystic Messenger, it's like one of the biggest otome's of the past few years.

Platform: Android, iOS (free to play, pay for extra saves and stuff) The Story: MC follows a text message to a weirdly high tech apartment and this somehow puts her in the position of party planner for a secretive group of weird people. It only gets more complicated from there. The game plays out in real time, via chat conversations and the occasional story segment. Squick factor: Um. I personally wasn't weirded out, but I also decided very specifically not to play Jumin's route. This girl did her research. The routes in Another Story are also very over the top and would probably bug me. While I love the Saeran character, I don't think I'd be able to handle that route. So: highly dependent on chosen route. Protagonist’s spine: Adderall. It takes a specific kind of person to download a chat app and follow the instructions given by a random stranger therein. It takes a much stranger person to sit in an apartment with a bomb and just keep inviting people to a party. MC is on a different level from us mortals.

The Good: I loved the game mechanic, because it felt very real. The player is following a chatroom, just like the character is. Besides that, the story is completely bonkers and I appreciate that. The Bad: Did I mention it plays in real time? Because it plays in real time, meaning you get chat conversations at two in the morning. I was very sleep deprived when I played this. Best boy: 707. Dude is funny and deep and hot and relatable and smart and I want to give him all the hugs.

 Dream Daddy

One of the few decidedly mlm games I've played so far. You've probably heard of it since it was the subject of much hype and much controversy. Markiplier played it. Friggin Buzzfeed has video's on it.

Platform: PC and Mac (it's on Steam) The Story: MC is a Dad who moves into a neighbourhood with a lot of other single(-ish) dads. Time to work it. Squick factor: Low. This is primarily a humour game: there's a ton of dad jokes and silly mini games, and a distinct lack of kabe don's. The canon routes are all very thoughtful. Protagonist’s spine: Barbecued sausage. Player Dad just goes for it. He’s flexible and caring enough to handle the more sensitive subjects, and self aware enough to deal with random crime and weird drunks.

The Good: I remember opening this game and, in the character creation screen, telling a trans friend of mine 'omg you can wear binders', and the sheer Glee of his reaction. That's the kinda stuff this game was, partly, made for and it is appreciated. I really liked the tongue-in-cheek writing, most of the jokes landed and the whole thing is just a lot of fun. The Bad: Some of the minigames are annoying. Why the hell are you making me play Bejeweled with fish? I also had a hard time sympathizing with some of the kids. I mean… Lucien straight up tries to murder someone? Ernest is 'rebellious' but he's also an ass. Best dad: Damien has the best route, but have you Seen Mat? Holy moly.

 Not worth it games

Amnesia: Memories

This game should come with a friggin warning, so I'm giving it here. Its popularity and star rating is a terrible indicator for how much you may enjoy this game. It presents itself as a cute dating sim with gorgeous art, but it devolves into straight up horror, and not in the good way. This feels like a guidebook written in the 1800's to tell young women their place. Not even mortified intrigue could make me finish this. 

Platform: PC (Steam or Google Play) and PlayStation Vita Story: MC wakes up with amnesia. Someone hurt her and she doesn't know who to trust. You'll need to figure out what happened. Squick factor: Super high. Like… so high.  Everyone treats MC like shit and she just lets it happen, even developing all kinds of Stockholm Syndrome as she falls in love with these asshats. MC's childhood friend supposedly loves her but is such a tsun and just… doesn't communicate while also treating her like a small child. One of the other characters is so popular he has a fucking harem but MC is just supposed to wait for him to actually fall in love with her. And don't even get me started on that friggin yandere. *shudders* Even the secret route 'true love' character is a million types of wrong. Protagonist’s spine: Undercooked custard. MC has the self preservation skills of a wet sponge and whoever is playing this is supposed to get turned on by high concept ideas of S&M that are just written out so badly everything feels like an abusive relationship.

The Good: *sigh* The art. The art is very pretty (I'm upset at the art since it sucked me into the horror). Also, as a visual novel, this one is complex as all hell. There's a ton of endings  (most of them deadly) depending your actions as a player. It's vast, is what I'm saying. Also, I hear the clover route isn't as bad as some of the others, but I was too weirded out to try. The Bad: See rant. This is one of those games that really seems to glorify the whole possessive, abusive boyfriend shtick, but it's ok because he loves you, really. Ugh. Just… ugh. Best boy: Kent? I guess? He doesn't appear to be actively abusing MC at least.

 Shall we date: Lost Alice

I wondered if I should include this because I literally played like ten chapters  and then deleted it, but that in itself should give some indication.

Platform: Android (free to play, in-app premium purchases) Story: MC wakes up in the forest with amnesia (I see a trend). Turns out she's in Wonderland and everyone thinks she's Alice. Most of Wonderland's characters are, predictably, hot men. Squick  factor: Unavailable. I didn't play far enough to see but some of the men are quite pushy and also it's a Shall we date app, so… tread carefully. Protagonist’s spine: Cement. This is an MC that puts up a fight, which I respect. Sadly she does so in that 'needlessly aggressive' way that anime characters sometimes have. I didn't find her particularly sympathetic.

The Good: The art. It's always the art that gets me. The Bad: The UI annoyed the shit out of me. This is a free to play, pay for premiums game, so some level of mindless clicking is expected if you try to play for free. This one had just too much. There was friend greeting and picture rating and princess lessons and got knows what else, all taking a ton of time. Trying to get to the home page popped up at least four different 'now on sale' screens every single time. The writing wasn't good enough for me to deal with that. Best boy: Well there’s a cat. So.

 Decent games

Hustle cat

This game is set in a cat café, that was all the encouragement I needed to buy it.

Platform: PC (Steam) Story: MC is invited to take a job at a cat café. Turns out everyone in the café is cursed, and also they're into you. Squick factor: Almost non-existant. This is a very tumblr friendly game in the sense that your love interests are both male and female, and none of them are particularly pushy. The relationships feel pretty natural and mostly consist of MC helping their love interest with some subquest. Protagonist’s spine: Cucumber. MC is actually pretty cool. The game does that 'modern western game' thing where you get to pick a gender and a skin colour for your protag and the general atmosphere is 'tongue in cheek'. MC doesn't let people walk over them, but they're generally helpful.

The Good: CATS. The premise of this game is pretty neat. The Bad: According to Steam I played this five months ago, and I pretty much forgot about it. Fun game but not particularly memorable. Best cat: Landry. Tall, gentle giants are a particular weakness.

 Shall we date: Blood in Roses

This is me giving Shall we Date another shot, because the amount of hot mildly medieval boys was intriguing.

Platform: Android (free to play, in-app premiums) Story: There's two, because this app has been around for a while and now has two 'seasons'. The Witch stumbles upon a supposedly abandoned castle and gets imprisoned there by a bunch of vampires. The Hunter, meanwhile, seeks out the castle because she wants to stop an attack on her village. Both come to realize that the castle is now a hotel for monsters, and that its denizens are both not what they imagined, and also hot. Squick factor: Highly dependent on route. The Witch literally starts in a jail cell, so you can imagine the Stockholm Syndrome shit that goes down. Also, this is a personal preference, but I'm really weirded out by a lot of blood play stuff so most of the vampire routes are gonna be… problematic. Shall we Date games don't shy away from sex scenes and I like that, but coupling them with drinking blood 'to get in the mood' is a rather specific niche. The game does offer a number of other options for you to court, from werewolves to wizards and… grim reapers? It's a mixed batch. If you're not into pushed boundaries I can offer one tip: stay away from the vampires. Protagonist’s spine: Sand cookie. She has one, but it's brittle. I've mostly played Hunter routes and it's like… she tries, and she can take care of herself but she also tolerates more bullshit than necessary, ya know.

The Good: The art is good, and some of the storylines are intriguing despite my reservations. I'm still playing it (mostly in a quest to find a good ending where MC doesn't die to become a weird immortal creature).  The UI, while annoying, isn't as bad as Lost Alice's, or so it seems. The Bad: The writing is very hit or miss. There's routes where the guy just sort of lowkey stalks MC, until she suddenly decides she's incredibly in love with him. There's others  that make even less sense, and then there's ones that feel more natural. In general, MC's actions don't  seem to have a lot of thought put into them. Best boy: So far: Gordon. He's cute and sensible and tortured and not incredibly antagonistic.

 Midnight Cinderella

You'll notice a friggin ton of Cybird games on here.

Platform: Android (free to play, premium purchases) Story: MC gets, mostly by accident, chosen to be the Princess of Wysteria. As such she must prepare to govern the country when the king dies, and choose a consort from a number of suitors. Squick factor: Low. Not only are these men respectful of her, they're rather literally treating her like royalty. Having said that, there is a lot of the typical hurtful tsun stuff going in several routes. Protagonist’s spine: Lightly done steak. There's something weird going on with the protag in this game. When it comes to governing, she's tough as nails. She's thrown into a situation she wasn't ready for, and while this stresses her out 24/7, she performs admirably. On the other hand, her main reaction to literally anything when it comes to love is 'Oh'. She cries a lot, at times she feels like a wet rag. There's a bunch of situations she could have just solved by going 'Yeah I'm into you'. She's complex, I guess.

The Good: The writing, while melodramatic, is nice. The art is good as well. The Bad: This is an old game and it doesn't perform that well on my current-gen smartphone. Expect to push certain buttons several times before the game realizes what you're trying to do. Also the loading takes ages. Best boy: For me, Sid, because he reminds me of Aomine Daiki and I'm weak for that type of personality. As far as routes go, Leo's probably had the most impact on me.

 Destined to Love

I'll be honest, I started this because of an event in Ikemen Sengoku that would give me cross game storage. Don't judge me.

The Story: MC gets flung back in time (this is also a trend, it seems) to the 1800's, a few weeks before the Ikedaya incident will make the Shinsen-gumi a historic Legend. She meets, and chrams, a whole bunch of historical figures. Protagonist’s spine: Cured leather. As a modern woman sent back in time, MC is probably fairly sassy by the standards of the time, but she remains mostly polite. She's tough, considering the circumstances, but quite pliable in that 'we'll see where this goes and make the best of it' way. Squick factor: Low. There's one character that just screams 'red flag' but I have yet to try his route. Since this is a Cybird game, most of the guys are pretty respectful.

The Good: I really like the premise? As the title suggests, MC's love is part of a higher destiny, one that transcends time, and it's one of the reasons she has to go to friggin 1800's Japan. She has a hand in making history. This amuses me. Also, the guys are pretty good looking. The Bad: This is a fairly old mobile game and you can kinda tell. On a technical level it's not as bad as Midnight Cinderella, but again the touch buttons aren't always responsive. Besides that, some of the writing is rather clunkily translated and a bunch of the art is low res. Best Boy: I haven't played all the routes here, but Katsura is a god damn sweetheart, and Kyo and Yamazaki seem adorable AF.

 The weird: the special ones

Hatoful Boyfriend

The reason I know otome's exist. This one shot to meme status a few years back.

Platform: PC (it's on Steam) Story: MC is one of the last remaining humans after sentient birds took over the world. She gets enrolled into an elite school for pigeons. Squick factor: Medium to high. The major thing to understand about Hatoful is that on the surface it looks like a particularly silly dating sim with pigeons, but dig deeper and it is Also a full blown apocalyptic horror story. And it follows the genre where a wrong move gets MC horrifically killed. Having said that, several of the routes, including the god damn serial killer one, didn't bother me as much as something like Amnesia, because they were not sold as romantic. Maybe it's the whole pigeon thing, maybe it's the general weirdness of the plot, or maybe it is because said serial killer actually goes 'Surely you knew this would happen', before he guts you. Protagonist’s spine: Gummy bear. MC is highly forgettable, but therefore also like… not annoying. The main focus here is on uncovering the many layered plot and the player character doesn't really have a scripted personality, she just embodies the player's actions.

The Good: This whole game is so out there. There's a reason it became so popular. It's an Experience. The plot is over the top and intricate and Weird, and that makes it intriguing. There's a ton of routes and endings, some more secret than others. The 'human' version of some of these birds is kinda hot (sadly that includes the serial killer). The Bad: the plot is so weird and meandering that it's kinda hard to follow at times. I'm fairly certain it takes several guides to unlock all the endings. Best Birb: It's been a while, but I remember liking Yuuya's route quite a lot.

 Monster Prom

The new hype.

Platform: PC (Steam!) Story: MC is a student at Monster High, and is trying to get a date for Monster Prom with one of the hot people. Squick factor: None. I mean, nothing that happens here is in accordance to health and safety norms, but that's kinda the point. It's a parody game, making fun of all the hoops teenagers are willing to jump through to become popular. Protagonist's spine: Coagulated blood. MC is willing to make deals with demons, wear corpses as a hat, anything really. The question is very openly: what could I do to make them like me.

The Good: It's a funny game. I like the characters, who embody everything from the Mean Girl to the Hipster Nerd and the Needlessly Aggressive Jock. The art is simple, cartoon style, but pretty neat. The Bad: Everything is very tongue in cheek, which leaves it a little… light for my tastes. I don't feel like any of the routes matter in the grand scheme of things, MC hasn't truly touched anyone's heart. The whole thing is a joke game, so it's funny, but a bit shallow. Best monster: Polly, the permanently stoned party girl.

 Cute Demon Crashers

Technically a sex game? But a really very special one.

Platform: PC (free! Here!) Story: A portal opens in MC's house and four Incubi/Succubi drop through. To apologize for the inconvenience, while they wait for a portal back, they offer to teach MC about sex. Squick factor: I've written about this game before and the best thing, the very best thing about it is how incredibly consent-minded it is. Like, even if you're already in bed, getting it on, there's always an option to turn back and leave it at that. The demons are really just there to help MC find out what gives her pleasure. Protagonist’s spine: Rock. Obviously, MC is mildly upset about four random demons showing up. As mentioned before, what happens next is mostly up to the player.

The Good: It's free and the art is pretty and I love the premise. The Bad: Kinda short, but again: free. Cutest Demon Crasher: *cough* Orias *cough*

[yotsubanoclover]

Here’s to Forever

I am in love with you, and so are my seasons.

Entry for @saeranchoiweek day 4 - Weddings

Everything would’ve been perfect... if he were here.

Your first RFA party is coming to an end. It was perfect - V’s photographs were as popular as ever, the guests were friendly and generous, the food were excellent, the hall was luxurious and comfortable, and all the other members, including you, were in their top form. Yes... everything was perfect, except for one thing.

Saeran was absent in your first ever party.

I’m sorry, you remember him telling you a month ago before leaving, his face apologetic. Apparently he got accepted in a renowned photography school abroad and had to attend an early orientation. When the announcement came, the party preparation was nearly complete, and there was no way you, as the guest coordinator, could be absent from the event to come with him.

So, as reluctant as you are, you let him go. After all, you’ve watched closely by his side how hard he’s been working to realize his dreams.

“Hey. What’s with the long face, sis?” Suddenly Saeyoung are next to you, grinning. “You did a great job, by the way. Congrats!”

You force a smile. He’s developed a habit of calling you sis as of late, unknown to you why. “Thanks, Saeyoung.”

He purses his lips to a pout. “No can do. I promised Saeran I’ll make sure you’ll have fun! You’re definitely coming to the after party! No buts!”

There’s an after party? You didn’t even get a chance to ask him anything - Jaehee appears out of nowhere and drags you away from the party hall. The two of you enter a small room at the back of the stage, where you see a table with a big mirror and full of make-up tools. She helps you to sit down - your worn out and confused face stares back at you.

“Jaehee? What is this?”

She flashes a smile, not saying anything. Instead, she starts talking into her walkie-talkie, murmuring in low voice. “We’re ready here. If you please.”

“Zen. Do you mind stop fidgeting around like that?” Jumin calls out to the actor, who’s been moving around restlessly.

“Shut up, Trust Fund Kid!” Zen grows even more agitated. “You wouldn’t understand how nerve-wrecking all of this is, you emotionless robot!”

“It’s not your event.” The C&R Director rolls his eyes. “Why are you nervous?”

“Well, why aren’t you?!”

“I see they are at it again.” Yoosung appears, carrying a big bouquet of flowers. He’s not alone. “Just don’t mind them and prepare yourself, hyung.”

Both Jumin and Zen turn to face the person who just came in with Yoosung, their nearly-broken fight forgotten. At the sight of him, Jumin flashes out a small welcoming smile, while Zen heaves out a long sigh, seemingly a bit calmer. Though, upon a closer look, immediately Zen seems to find something else to worry about. He stomps forward to this new person, fixing his tie.

“Come on, Saeran - you can’t even get your tie right!”

“Like you could get everything right.”

“Why you, Jumin Han!”

“Where is she?” Saeran finally speaks up. He is wearing a white and silver suit, with his hair slicked back. If you were here right now, you would be the only one noticing how nervous he is - the back of his neck and his gloved hands are sweating cold sweat.

“Assistant Kang said they are almost ready.” Jumin answers. “We should be in position now.”

“Who says you could order us around?”

“Shut up, Zen-hyung.” Cutting Zen off before another argument starts, Yoosung offers his free hand to Saeran. “Come, Saeran-hyung, I’ll help you. She must be surprised to see you here!”

Saeran smiles nervously. “I hope so.”

“Jaehee, are you still not going to tell me what this is all about?”

“Why, I thought it’d be pretty obvious by now.” She chuckles.

Even if you say so... Staring at the mirror, you have a hard time believing that the radiant face staring back is yours - the make-up is not that heavy; in fact, it is very simple as if you’re not wearing any at all. Still, your face looks like it is glowing, if that’s the right term. Your usual long hair is curled slightly and braided up, held on by a silver crown you thought only existed in fairy tales.

But perhaps that is not the obvious part. Instead, it is the fact that you have now changed out of your blue dress to a white one. The long-sleeved dress exposes your shoulders while still perfectly covering your chest. The front hem of the skirt reaches your knees, and draped over it is a more transparent fabric which reaches your feet. The back part of the dress is a long tail, trailing on for at least 2 meters behind you. The shorter front allows you to still walk freely despite the much longer tail.

Jaehee is still smiling as she walks closer. “The dress is, of course, something new.”

Making sure the crown is in place, she continues, “This is both something borrowed and something blue,” referring to the blue sapphire on the center of the crown, surrounded by small crystal beads, which reflects the light beautifully. She giggles yet again. “Don’t be surprised - Mr. Han originally bought this for Elizabeth the 3rd, but it ended up in a shelf somewhere in his room for ages. I’m glad it’s finally used properly.”

Wow...

“And your rings are something old!” Saeyoung bursts into the room, holding two little velvet boxes you assume to be the rings. “I found them in an online market for antiques! Apparently they used to belong to the royal family or something.”

Rolling her eyes in disbelief, Jaehee hands you a small bouquet of white flowers - myrtle, sweet peas, astilbe, jasmine, and lily of the valleys. You can easily imagine Saeran handpicking these flowers, which makes you smile. Not noticing, Jaehee then offers her hand to help you walk. “Now, let’s go. We don’t want to keep everyone else waiting.”

“Jaehee!” Saeyoung surprises both of you, handing the veil to Jaehee. “You forgot this!”

“Oh, dear. Of course.” It only took her about a minute. “Now, you’re ready. Let’s go.”

Glancing at the mirror one last time, you can’t help sighing. And they still refuse to tell me anything...

You better not mess this up and fall! you warn yourself, feeling warm as you walk, with all eyes on you.

Jaehee walks closely behind, helping you with the tail and acting as the bridesmaid. Someone is playing Wedding March on piano.

Who knew there’s a garden at the back of the party hall? Well, now you sure do. The sweet smell of flowers decorating the “chapel” helps you to calm down. You recognize the other RFA members - Yoosung, Zen, and Jumin - as well as some of the party guests among the small crowd. A small altar stands in the middle, also decorated by flowers. But that is not where your attention lies.

Saeran, who’s not supposed to be back until next month, stands in the center of the altar, fidgeting with his fingers nervously - his teary eyes on you. Standing right next to him as the best man is Saeyoung, who’s grinning ear to ear.

It’s as if you can hear Saeran saying how beautiful you look; you’re barely holding yourself to run to him. When your fingers are finally intertwined as the two of you stand side by side, you hear it for real. “You’re so beautiful... I miss you so much.”

It takes everything you have not to let the tears flow. “I miss you, too.” Whispering, you add, “You better explain yourself later, okay?” to which he nods.

When it is finally time for you to exchange rings and say your vows, both of your voices are shaky with nervousness...

“Let us one day go far away,

Let us one day leave our garden’s friends in rest and wait,

Let us one day cross the sea to the lands mystic and strange.

“As long as your eyes twinkle for me,

I will always be there with armful of roses for you.

I am in love with you, and so are my seasons.

“The sun and the moon rise and fall every day,

But my heart for you will never stop.

My heart for you will never wax or wane.

“I am an everlasting flower,

wide open for you from spring to winter.”

...yet somehow you know, that both of you have never been so sure about anything else your whole life.

“I love you, my angel,” Saeran whispers as he uncovers the veil covering your face, leaning closer.

The tears are uncontrollable now. “I love you, too, Saeran.”

A/N: Thank you for reading! I can’t be the only one thinking the lyrics of Four Seasons (Ray route ending theme song) are perfect for vows! :) That song means so much for me and I will always take inspirations from there 💕

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