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shortpplfedup · 2 years

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Welcome to Jojo's BL mafia lakorn, where the tropes are plentiful, the setup is delicious, the cinematography is outstanding, and Phuwin is making a solid argument for being one of the top 5 young male actors in GMMTV. In this episode, we're introduced to the Kiattrakulmethee mafia family and their associated friends, retainers and hangers-on, and we enter their world. Our cast of key characters...

NEUNG, NEUNGDIAO KIATTRAKULMETHEE

Jesus Christ Phuwin, come back here with my wig. In the pantheon of poor little rich boys, Neung may just be one of the saddest. In the aftermath of his father's murder right in front of his eyes, he's buttoned it up to an alarming degree, but the deep sadness, fear, uncertainty and yes, barely controlled rage he's feeling are bubbling right under the surface. Neung might be young but he's no fool; he understands very well that his mother may still be there, but for all intents and purposes his father's death has left him alone in a world surrounded by jackals. The poor kid can't shoot for shit but he's got that gun in his fricking bedside table anyway, because if his dad's dead it's only a matter of time before they come for him too, right? And unlike his dad, he has no intention of not seeing it coming. When Palm is put in his orbit, he knows enough to know that a bodyguard won't save him, but a friend might. Palm is an outsider, and the only person in his life who wasn't his father's first, so while he doesn't trust him yet, he's got a better chance allying with him than with anybody else.

And Phuwin...what can I say about Phuwin as Neung? The watchful eyes, the careful manner, the soft yet palpable bitterness...I don't think I've ever seen him play a character like this before. It's a whole different side of him, and so far it's giving.

PALM, PANNAKORN JANNALOY

There is a LOT happening here. When we meet Palm, he is not carefree exactly, not by any means, but he's accepted what his cares are likely to be. It's obvious that his father is the last person he expects to see, far less with a proposition that will change the course of his entire life. And he seized it. One day he's staring down life as a fisherman and labourer, the next he's living in a mansion in Bangkok, going to an international school, preparing for university and all the while feeling like he has absolutely no right to be there, and also that there's a target on his back. The pool scene is so instructive; Palm sneaks out to use the pool in the middle of the night, because he absolutely couldn't resist but is equally certain that he isn't allowed (did he ask or just assume that I wonder? Both options throw up VERY interesting questions). When Neung catches him, he's pleading, almost begging Neung not to tell his father, but he doesn't seem nearly as worried about what it means for Neung to catch him there. Neung is his boss, but more importantly Neung is his charge. Neung is his responsibility but that comes with a duty of care that he's not sure how to navigate with Neung so far above him. So Palm becomes a silent shadow; he can't tell Neung what to do, all he can do is watch his back while he does it.

Pond is doing a lot of interesting things here with Palm so far that bode well. I was most concerned in this whole cast with whether Pond would be able to pull this role off, because he's going to have to carry a lot. Palm has a lot of trepidation about what he's doing, especially because he's doing it in this world that he doesn't know how to navigate at all, but he knows is dangerous enough to get him killed. At the same time, his world is opening up in ways he never could have fathomed (again, the pool, and how he can't resist the lure of just having a pool at your disposal). He's dazzled by the bright lights, conscious of them being a distraction from his duty, conscious of the threats lurking in the shadows they create, but he still can't help wanting to reach out and touch them. It's a tightrope to walk as an actor, to convey that sense of knowing the stove is hot but still being compelled to touch it anyway, without tipping over into portraying your character as reckless. Pond so far is walking it.

THANYA KIATTRAKULMETHEE

Less Lady Macbeth and more the White Queen, beset all around by enemies, and fixed on holding the throne for her son but also maybe for herself? I didn't expect to be so gripped by this character, but somewhere around the time she strutted down that hallway in that red capelet tunic and turned an icy stare on the reporter who dared imply a criminal empire underpinning their legit one, I was in.

KIT, SUPHAKIT KIATTRAKULMETHEE

If Thanya is Elizabeth Woodville, then Kit is Richard III. Little brothers in dynastic stories are a necessary evil; the 'heir and a spare' principle lives forever. But they always cause so much trouble because the balancing of power, resentment and trust is delicate. Even if they don't betray you, there are always enemies willing to use them as either a weak point or lightning rod. I don't think we have to worry about outsider motives in this tale though, Kit giving Neung that creepy hug said it all.

BEN

Because of the story we're aware of being in, we don't know what to make of Ben yet. But I think it says a lot that while Neung is responsive to Ben's overtures, Palm is the one he asks to be his friend. We know from the trailers that Neung and Ben do have a romantic relationship, and it could just be a coincidence that Ben chooses now to reach out to Neung, but it also could not be. We see from Neung's interactions at school that he only appears to have one defender, but even that person wants something from him, and you question whether he stands up for him because he sees a benefit in Neung seeing him as an ally, or whether he genuinely cares. I think right now, Neung sees Ben in largely the same light.

CHOPPER KIATTRAKULMETHEE

Listen, I love Perth, and I am so excited to see what this character is all about, but he has not yet said one word, and has had roughly 10 seconds of screentime so I'm gonna reserve my comments. He looks good. That's it.

So the board is set. Let's play.

#never let me go the series #never let me go #junior mafia #bl meta series

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milkywaydrinker · 1 year

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One of the saddest things about how Marcy was handled in Amphibia is that her parents are never expected to explain themselves. The story never asks Mr. Wu why he needs to move away in the first place, if the family genuinely needs this job because they won't have one otherwise. But based on Matt's wording in interviews and the lack of mention in Marcy's Journal, it really seems like he just... wanted a job promotion. He only did it for himself and wasn't content with the pretty lofty house the family already had, and Mr. Wu does it at the expense of Marcy and gets away with it.

There's no calling out of him; Nor does the show even bother to clarify for the viewer that Marcy's parents "aren't bad", since Matt admitted they omitted the other girls' parents out of fear the viewers would excuse Sasha and Marcy after seeing their home lives. But unintentionally, it creates this twisted double-standard; It doesn't matter if Mr. Wu is a good parent, it doesn't matter if he's a bad one either.

The only thing that matters according to the show is that Marcy, the child, messed up; And so her arc consists solely of blaming herself for what happened, without giving Marcy the chance to at least speak for herself. She isn't allowed to be angry on her own behalf, Anne and Sasha figure out what went wrong with Marcy, without Marcy ever getting to tell them that. Marcy isn't allowed to work on her broken self-esteem.

All that matters is that Marcy is a good girl who obeys, regardless of whoever she's taking orders from. Which makes it hypocritical of the show to frame Marcy as bad for blindly trusting in Andrias' plans, but not ever questioning her father's. Both are paternal figures to Marcy. Likewise, Marcy is punished for being a disobedient child, but the adults in her life are utterly excused; The Wus are under no obligation to explain themselves, Olivia and Yunnan aren't called out for only using Marcy for their own ends. And Andrias?

The show doesn't want to show the girls' parental trauma out of fear it will 'excuse' them. Yet it has no qualms about Andrias' redemption hinging almost entirely on the audience pitying him because his father pressured and controlled him, even giving Andrias a triumphant moment where he stands up to his dad! The show expects you to feel bad for Andrias because some people in his life were a bit mean to him, it expects you to think he just needed to be told by Leif that she still loved him, when he went out of his way to create racism towards her species.

And Barrel! Just like Marcy, Wit is neglected. Andrias mourns Leif, claims she is the only one who called him by his nickname, but his cruelty towards Barrel is left unaddressed. Barrel is an afterthought and left unmourned, because like Marcy he doesn't matter, he's only as good as what he does for others.

Maybe it's a stretch, but with the way the show ended, the message of 'accepting change' just comes across as unintentionally authoritarian. Accept that a god will separate you from your friends, or your dad, it doesn't matter either way.

I have many complaints about the way Amphibia portrays the dynamics between the characters. It applies to both family and friendships and how each girl sees and interacts with the world.

You hit the nail on the head with the unintentionally authoritarian approach. I had trouble naming the aspect that bothered me, but this sounds right. There's an expectation of difference, to parents, to authority, and to culture.

Anne is a very sweet kid from the start but one of her main flaws is her lack of appreciation for her heritage and giving in to peer pressure more than giving in to what her parents expect from her. Sasha isn't a good influence on her, but teenage rebellion is natural, and going along with what your more charismatic peers want isn't a deadly sin that warrants the level of scrutiny and punishment she's received. She feels like she's the most mediocre out of the trio, it's a hard place to be when you're 14. In the end, she still does what she's always done, becomes the fall guy for her friends, and is expected to take on the burden of becoming the sole savior of the world. What meaningful difference does it make if she gets hurt by following what Sasha wants vs following some prophecy?

Sasha gets sidelined and we never see her home life which would have added so much depth to why she is the way she is. I have friends who went through a messy divorce of their parents and it did reflect in the way they behaved. Showing that on screen would make Sasha a way less polarizing character in the fandom, cutting that was a mistake. Her overly controlling behavior comes from abandonment issues and neglect but we are expected to see her as a villain that needs redemption.

Marcy is just a mess. I have no clue what they were thinking. Her on-screen growth is inconsistent and seems pointless by the end of the show. She's easily the biggest punching bag of the narrative. Pictured as selfish and with her head in the clouds, unable to distinguish what's real and what's just a game. What clearly reads as an escapist coping mechanism to almost everyone watching, is turned into her greatest flaw. She's punished for being a child and coping with pressure from her parents in maladaptive ways.

The show is afraid of showing parenting mistakes. We are told Anne's parents are hard on her, strict, and constantly nagging, but then when we meet them it's not even true? Her mom is a little overbearing but that's about it. As someone with strict parents myself, I felt slightly disappointed. Parents are just people too, it's okay to show them in an unflattering light sometimes, even if they're good overall. Bad parents aren't an excuse, they are an explanation. Showing that on screen would only improve the story.

I don't like Andrias. I don't like his story. It's discordant with everything else the show has been hammering in. He's a worse version of what She-ra did with Hordak and it's not like I liked that ending either.

You should defer to your parents because they know best unless they're evil. You should be able to tell right from wrong always. You shouldn't give to peer pressure unless your friends are right. You should give up your agency when necessary, for the greater good, but you shouldn't be a pushover.

You should know what you want to be at 14.

#rant #ask #if you're doing something do it with your whole chest #and this show never does anything to the completion

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afwilliam75 · 2 years

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Silent Hill 1: Or how I learned to stop being scared and love terror. “The fear for blood tends to create fear of flesh” Silent Hill is one of the references in terms of horror in video games, it is unquestionable, but I cannot remember another game that has made me think as much as this one did, that is, in theory it is a fairly simple game, even being such an old game you'd think it wouldn't be so scary I mean I can see the pixels that can't scare me but I think silent hill finds strength in its weaknesses the fact that the ps1 couldn't render a city forced them to think outside the box from the box and reach the iconic fog that generates a lot of uncertainty, since the only thing you can guide yourself with is the sound of your radio to be safe. And despite being such an old and simple game, technically speaking it doesn't show its weak points, it really shows that the team behind this game really had a special affection for it, because it almost never plays it safe creatively, the music is iconic already by the fabulous Akira Yamaoka as well as Masajiro Ito's creature design. It really is a feat that in a genre where you usually rely too much on gore and jump scares here the horror is based on making you feel alienated in a hostile world, this is probably the coldest and most cryptic game I've ever played, but that's part of its design It's part of the psychological terror it wants to make you feel, plus I'd also give it extra points for the quality of the puzzles in the game, they really do require a pretty decent puzzle-solving ability. As for the story, I think it supports a lot of the cryptic and lonely aspect of the atmosphere, so you don't have too much character development; however, when the game wants to make you feel other emotions such as empathy, sadness or nostalgia, it will succeed. Personally, I think that in terms of its central theme, Silent Hill was way ahead of its time, this is already more of a head canon, but I think the theme is a social commentary on how society and especially religions and cults have abused women throughout history, using them as means to an end, as can be seen in the case of Alessa, who kept her alive for the only thing they kept her alive was to conceive despite only being a girl or there is also the case of Lisa Garland who was drugged, abused and physically and psychologically injured by Dr. Aickmann and the cult for god knows how long, to the point of literally losing her humanity and ending in one of the saddest death scenes possible, even To support my theory, we would only have to see the final boss of the game "Incubus" which is defined as: "Incubus is the one that responds to the male gender and likes to possess women during dreams to be able to generate them and thus have offspring." Supporting the aforementioned how Alessa was only kept alive to procreate. In addition, the use of symbolism and occult objects is fascinating and somewhat fresh theme in the genre up to that moment, as well as being able to discover the psyche of a disturbed girl in a physical way as a place that could be every day, but seen from the perspective of a girl who has been abused in many ways is very interesting and creates empathy for this type of case, as if all the sins were mixed and effervescent with the facade of a city. However, it is not exempt from criticism, especially in the gameplay it is archaic and often difficult to control. Above all, it is a game that despite its flaws is mandatory and a masterpiece in the genre. Good night and Happy Halloween.

#silent hill #Silent Hill fanart #konami #Fanart #fanart drawing #survival horror #survival horror videogames #silenthill #harry mason

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mj-is-writing · 2 years

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hi, happy blorbo blursday! how about a ramble about Cassian? any info you care to share, and I'm also curious about what Cassian thinks of your other characters :D

Cassian is so many things and about half of them are just “pathetic little man.”

I originally created him to be this cool, suave, Kick Ass and Take Names kind of character. He was dark and edgy and a typical rogue. That immediately fell apart as soon as I started writing and realized that he’s actually the saddest wet kitten of a person to ever exist.

So for the majority of the time that I’ve been writing him, he has been an emotionally repressed young man who grew up too quickly and blames himself for it. He ignores his feelings as much as possible because if he doesn’t, he’s going to shatter. And, throughout the book, he gets put in situations that make it increasingly harder to ignore his emotions. He has to recognize how scared Adelaine actually is and that she’s hiding just like him, he has to realize that even these strangers can care about him, and he has to see first hand just how similar he and Minnie are.

Cassian cries a lot in my current draft because I’m incapable of letting him be happy.

I also… uhh… kinda gave him my anxiety and depression and who knows what else. Like every paragraph is just him having Symptoms™️ and they very much are the same Symptoms™️ that I have. And I kinda can’t fix it because he’s my character that I project on constantly. If I stopped doing that he would be a fundamentally different character. Heck, I even made him the shortest because I’m the shortest in my friend group. (He’s still taller than me though and that makes me ANGRY. I could shrink him but I won’t.)

As for what he thinks about the others… well, his relationship with all of them is rocky.

Adelaine is someone he never even meant to interact with and now he’s stuck with her, and she is also way overconfident at times. Very competent as a leader, but also inexperience. And Cassian doesn’t handle that well. He likes her, he really does, but he doesn’t take her shit, either, and she doesn’t take his. They could probably duel to the death over a slice of ham and then have a shared gravestone that says “Besties ❤️”

Keeva is the emotional anchor of the group and, because Cassian is allergic to feelings, someone that he can’t have a normal conversation with for a long time. But they’re also always there for him. He hasn’t known them long but he also knows that they’re the one he needs to go to when he needs a shoulder to cry on.

Aoife and Cass don’t interact that much and it’s kind of one of the major problems in my current draft. She just… doesn’t have a lot in common with him. I think he wants to make an effort since she’s clearly so important to the others, but he’s also really bad at socializing and doesn’t know how to start a conversation. And she probably thinks that he just doesn’t want to talk? If he did come up to her she’d be totally chill with it, but she genuinely just thinks he’s keeping his distance and that’s also fine.

Minnie is… a lot of things. She’s his enemy and his best friend and his hope and his greatest fear and his therapist and his Reason For Needing Therapy. She and him have a really bad start, but they just have to get over it, yknow? And once they do, it’s fine. Nothing special. But Cassian has a lot of things from his past that haunt him, and Minnie embodies a lot of them. Just being around her means he has to confront a lot of things he’s been repressing, and that’s hard. It’s painful. But it’s necessary, too. I think he knows that. I think he knows that he wouldn’t have grown at all if he had never known her. She is the antiseptic sting on all of his emotional wounds at once and he hates her but he also knows that he needs her more than he’ll ever understand.

I really love these characters, I’ve been writing about them for almost four years now (!!!!) and Cassian was the first one I created. I love that people seem to like him.

#he’s my lil guy!!#I haven’t written anything for this WIP in over a year I think but I need to work on it it’s just hard #writeblr #blorbo blursday #even though it is not Thursday and I’m also I’m answering this many weeks late #writing #writeblr ask game #teen author #mj_writes #my oc

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cordeliaflyte · 3 years

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I love English literature, but there's this deep and intimate connection I have to Polish literature that I cannot explain. To quote Julian Tuwim, "the birch and the willow are closer to me than the palm and the cypress, and Mickiewicz and Chopin dearer to me than Shakespeare and Beethoven. Dearer for reasons which, again, I cannot justify". And like the very fact that translating this felt almost blasphemous.

And I genuinely love my subject, but I struggle to think of essay topics for the English language books we read, and I could literally write a whole dissertation about "Akademia Pana Kleksa". It was funny and terrifying and nostalgic but it's the saddest book I've ever read. If I had just a bit more awareness at 7 or 8 it would have made me cry. It would probably make me cry now if I read it. When you're a child, time doesn't exist. So whether a book comes from 2003 and in 1946 makes no difference to you. But obviously a book written in 1946 by a Jewish author about a world that dies rapidly before our eyes would hit different now than it did when I was 7.

Its ending is so deeply and profoundly sad. It's this terrifying apocalypse, but you're not even scared because there is so much sadness there that there isn't place for fear but even the cheery chapters before the world literally crumbles and disintegrates are so impactful...

Like my favourite chapter was always the one where the main character ends up in dog heaven, and he meets his dog because not only is the idea of a heaven for dogs, especially the way it was described in the novel so very fun, and I'm not joking when I say the way it described one of the characters drinking a glass of milk changed my life and I think about it every time I drink milk but it's also genuinely heartbreaking because like this is also a very Christian influenced book and like our main character is a good little boy who will go to heaven which is supposed to be this eternal bliss, and he should be at peace knowing that his dog, too, is experiencing eternal bliss, but there is no hope for them being reunited.

This sounds so silly, but what's the point of eternal happiness without your childhood dog. You know that post that's like: "your childhood dog is alive your dead best friend wants to get coffee you have been good you can sleep what do you do." And you know how the image of hell that tries to be more sympathetic than the culturally ingrained fire and brimstone is just eternal separation from God. Of course, that must be terrible if you're religious, but if you're not that's just your life. But love, as we all know, is the only religion, so how can heaven be heaven if it implies an eternal separation from your loved ones. Even if said loved ones are just your dog. God this made me so profoundly sad at 8, it still does.

Like on every level this was a book about grief, about an individual's grief, about a generation's grief, about a nation's grief. And I remember that it made some cogs shift in my little, unformed brain. Hell and heaven are not scary. They're just unimaginably sad. This sadness that drags along and follows you forever and sadness is ALWAYS loneliness. They're the same thing. This is another reason I feel a separation from the English language because when I say loneliness (which is of course a large component too) I mean "tęsknota" and there are no words in the English language to express that.

I am not trying to assign an esoteric superiority to Polish. Similar words exist in German and other languages, and you can convey the idea in English, but it will always be off by just an inch. It's like missing something, or someone, but it doesn't have to have a direction. And sadness = tęsknota = grief. There is always something unreachable about grief.

Even if Orpheus reached back, he would not be able to find Eurydice's hand and hold it, even just for a moment, before she was taken from him. By reaching to touch her, he would create a split universe where she was never actually walking behind him. Leonard Cohen's famous letter to Marianne says: "know that I am close behind you, and if you stretch out your hand, I think you can reach mine." A desire to reach out and touch the dead or dying is a human one and has been since Ancient times.

(Na takiej stypie nieźle by się piło, gdyby nie pogrom, co zaledwie wczoraj. I pod nogami grunt jak ciało miękki, trawy dotykasz, jakbyś dotknął ręki, która, choć martwa, wciąż do pieszczot skora = it would be nice to have drink at a wake like this, had it not been for the pogrom just yesterday. And under your feet, the ground like a soft body. You touch the grass as if it was hand that, though dead, still yearns to carress)

I think about loss and grief for the silliest things. I will probably never see this one copy of "Akademia Pana Kleksa" again. It was probably lost, or sold in some garage sale, or is in some attic. And I miss it right now. The book's titular academy only admitted boys whose names began with A. I always thought that was deeply unfair as a child. I spent much of my childhood wanting to be my brother: a boy whose name begins with A.

He was born 9 months after my parents were married, when my mum was 25. I was born two years later. My brother studies maths and IT. He plays the guitar. The first time I remember getting into serious trouble was when I was 2, and he scared me, so I punched him on the nose. He is probably the person I love the most in the world.

When I had the worst hangover in my life, when I drifted in and out of consciousness until 5. I dreamt that he was in my room and that was one of the most realistic dreams I've ever had. And even though at this point I hadn't seen him in a month, in the dream, I felt like I hadn't seen him in years, as if he had died years ago. Very much "in my dreams you're alive and you're crying", two-headed boy, pt 2, by Neutral Milk Hotel. Go listen to it. We just sat on the floor and talked. And then he told me to go to the kitchen to make some tea, and I started crying because I knew that he'd be gone when I was back. And he was. I felt biblically sad in that dream.

When my mum was 18 she had a son, whose name also began with A. He died when he was 9. I was six months old. I know I don't remember him, but my mind fabricated a memory of him in which I'm a literal baby in a pram and he's walking beside me and I cannot see his face. I used to dream of him often, but I haven't in years. In one dream, when I was 7 or 8 or 9, he was my age, and we played in a sandbox, and he told me that he didn't die when the bus hit him, he only broke his leg.

And since then, he lived in that playground, never ageing, always sitting there in the sandbox and making sandcastles. And it was a very fun dream. I got to hang out with him and make sandcastles. But some part of me knew, even then, that I would grow up, and I would stop coming to the sandcastle. In another dream, he also turned out to have survived the accident. But he had grown older, put on weight. I didn't recognize him. He seemed boring to me, and rude, and unintelligent. I didn't like him. I would often imagine what he'd be like. Deeply religious, which would lead to conflict with my staunchly anti-theist parents, or a smoker who wanted to move away as fast as possible?

But now I almost never think of him anymore, unless someone asks: "how many siblings do you have?". Yesterday, my mum sent a photo of our cat on her bed to the family group chat. His photo was on the wall, as it always is, with a sheepish smile, against a blue background. This is where he exists.

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quiteriana · 4 years

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speculation

not to be a Dumb Bitch but Silver is constantly suppressing himself and watering himself down, so much so that it's to the point where he appears so numb and apathetic because he really doesn't know himself or know his own personality and instead tries to find himself through the people in his life that he values. He tries to do what others wish him to do, and be who others wish him to be. He lacks his own motivations and individuality, and instead, he takes on the motivation of those around him, trying to fill himself with somebody else (the people he values), for he feels as though he, himself, isn’t worth much among others. He hallows out his own identity and numbs away every emotion because he feels as though he is too inedequate and then fills those voids with other people of who, to him, are the most valuable and vital in his eyes.

That "person he values" is Malleus. It's literally Malleus and idc how you interpret their relationship, you CANNOT DENY that Silver is bending himself to what he perceives is Malleus's need.

Silver values Lilia as well, but with Lilia it's different because he... loves him. They love each other, and Silver knows that he will always recieve unconditional love from Lilia, and his [Silver's] own love is shown through the way he tries so hard not to cause trouble for Lilia and how he wishes so badly for his happiness and health. Silver and Lilia love each other and they know that the other loves them (how could they not?) so Silver doesn't really have much reason to... "bend himself to the liking of Lilia" because they have such a strong foundation within one another.

But with Malleus, it isn't like that. Not at all. Silver doesn't know if he will always receive approval by Malleus, but he views him so highly, he values him so much, and he wants that approval, and thus he tries so hard to be that person he thinks Malleus needs him to be. He loses himself in the identity of a "royal guard" because he thinks that's the role he's meant to fill, and he replaces his entire person with that mere duty. He doesn't realize that his role of a guard is just a part of who he is and not the entirety, and he waters down all other aspects of himself to cling to this one identity until he's empty.... Seriously, he is almost nobody outside of this role. How do you guys not see that this is what he's doing to himself...

Silver replaces his own desires and dreams (and really... his personality) with his duty and role of serving Malleus in attempt to overcome that inevitable feeling of being less than and insignificant among all those that he’s grown up around, and among everything he's ever known (being a human among faes... try and tell me that didn’t screw with his esteem when he was young). He goes about life so passively, and so peacefully, for he wishes only to do as he must to please the people he admires so much. He hollows out and waters down his own desires so as not to be inconvenient for Lilia, who he adores, and Malleus, who he devotedly dedicates himself to. He loses himself and he forgets himself; he falls asleep to himself in the sense of his apathy and (the lack of truly feeling) his own emotions; filling his personality with his duty, and erasing the line between them while simultaneously trying to keep peace everywhere he stumbles, trying so hard not to be an inconvenience. Pushing himself further down, denying himself until he’s lost himself because somewhere in his life, he became so worried about displeasing and losing the ones he loves and views so highly because of the person he truly is, and he (unknowingly) combats this by suppressing his own desires and his own person, and instead replacing all of that with the qualities he thinks are more valuable for the role he feels he must fill for Malleus.

In terms of motivation, with Silver being around Sebek so much, he has most likely turned Sebek's motivation into his own since they have the same goal [to protect Malleus]. In a way, Silver feeds off the energy and passion that Sebek exudes for his role as a guard, and he uses that to get him through his position of the same role. By pretending and truly believing that Sebek's motivation is also his own motivation, he's able to continue and continue persevering in this duty he's been raised to fill. But it isn't his own. Sebek's goals are not Silver’s goals and their passions are not the same, but Silver has likely been watering down his own self for so long that he does not even see this or realize.

And he keeps on endlessly tuning himself more and more into what he thinks Malleus needs him to be. Because Malleus is the most important authority in his life; that's what he's been raised to believe, and thus he tries so hard to fit the mold of what Malleus needs in seek of approval and closeness to the person who's been made so important to him--so much that he pushes aside his own desires and his own personality in order to make room for whatever qualities he thinks Malleus needs. And unconsciously, he ends up incorporating bits of Malleus into himself and his own identity more and more because of this value that he's placed on him. Silver's forever glare? His subtly similar haircut to Malleus? These aren't him; these are not aspects of who Silver truly is or expressions of his own personality; these are things that he's lost himself in and has tried to take on the qualities of who he values because he doesn't know what he wants and he doesn't know himself. And the saddest thing is that he's likely not even aware that he is doing all this; it happens so unconsciously as a result of seeing little value in his own self.

For the sake of trying to make a clear point, I'm going to try and compare Silver to the other two hero-based characters: Rook and Kalim. Rook and Kalim, themselves, are actually very, very similar in my opinion in terms of their positivity, endless optimism, and their ability and desire to make others feel valued and recognized. Silver and Kalim are both kind hearted and gentle, but Kalim is obviously much more forward than Silver. Kalim actually has... personality. He has his motivations and he has his interests and he has the things he feels passionately about. Silver... doesn't. He doesn't have those things of his own. He shares with Kalim kindness and a desire to please others, but he lacks all ambition to act in the ways his heart desires; he doesn't even know what his heart desires. Probably, he has never thought of it before, as his role and his future was always right there for him: to be Malleus's guard and protector, and he accepted that with no refute, he accepted it happily and he put his efforts into being... what other people told him to be. Kalim is similar in that he easily accepts and goes along with the suggestions of others; he is also quite easily influenced by others, but he is his own person as well... he is his own person while Silver has lost who he is. (Silver is literally the lyrics "I do as I am told until I don't know who I want to be")

And for Rook. I actually see a lot more similarity between Silver and Rook. They are both peace-loving people; however Rook is a peacemaker while Silver is a peacekeeper. Rook goes out of his way to make peace and mediate between refuting people (Vil and Epel). He does so in a way that makes both parties seem heard and valued, and he does not stop until he has done so. He is stubbornly persistent in making peace, which is really such a wonderful thing in my opinion. Silver is almost there. He possesses the same desire and ache to have peace, but he does not work so hard for it. When he sees people opposing, he does try to say something to mediate, but as soon as someone bites back and refuses that peace he's trying to bring, he keeps silent. He says nothing more. He does this as a way to not further contribute to the conflict (because if he tries to mediate where it isn't desires, that will just cause more problem). He is so so so passive that he does not push through with the good things he is trying to do, and he settles instead for simply keeping some of that peace instead of going through and creating it where it needs to be. He settles for less than what he aims for in fear if creating more conflict.

Do you see what I'm trying to say? Even Silver's valuable and strong qualities (his compassion and kindness and ability to mediate between others) are being washed away by himself and himself only because these qualities are so different from what he sees in the people he values [MALLEUS], and so he doesn't think they're important or useful and he finds them even meaningless because these qualities are his and his alone; they are different and apart from the rest of the Diasomnia members but it's BECAUSE the others lack them that he sees them as invaluable. He sees himself and he sees his differences as bad things, and so he tries to rid of them and rid of himself to instead be more like the people he does value. He completely washes away all of his individuality (even the GOOD things that make him STRONGER than others) because he doesn't want to deviate or be too different from the people he values. He is pushing himself down, he is watering himself away, he is numbing every ability for the sake of filling himself with the needs of others [again, Malleus!]

I also want to briefly compare Kalim/Rook/Silver in terms of their grounded-ness. I feel as though all three of them are not quite in touch with reality. Kalim, I think, is quite capable of really living and feeling in the present moment, but his lack of sense-of-reality comes when he thinks too positively of things, not quite grasping the density of the things around him. Rook, I think, is very similar, but he is more aimless and less present. I think he stumbles without any real direction, but he focused his mind on seeing beauty (sight... paying attention to any of the 5 senses assists in grounded-ness, at least for me), but I feel like he could also get too much in his head at times and lose that stability in favor of gravity. But, it's temporary, and I think he is able to pull himself into reality quite easily when need be. However, with Silver, he... exceeds aimlessness. It's haziness, as if going through life in a fog. Only half-alive. Not just sleeping most the time, but even awake, his mind is out of focus and lost. He is not just out of touch with reality, he is out of touch with himself, and unlike Kalim and Rook, he has no energy or presence anywhere at all. "Almost always everywhere, never quite anywhere." That's how he lives his life. Asleep and half-alive.

Silver is honestly... a vacant shell for others people to flow through him. For others, this is good because they benefit from it, but for himself it's horrible because he numbs himself with it--his own emotions and even his sense of self. He becomes empty of his own identity, filled instead with the energy of others. Completely groundless and succumbing entirely to the gravity of his mind.

Not to mention that sleepiness is a common trait of people who regularly suppress their own personalities. Though they might not do much actively, they still take up a lot of their own energy to be that shell for others to fill, and they also stress themselves by doing this as well but their apathy and detachment from reality doesn't allow them to properly feel that stress, so it translates instead into tiredness and sleepiness, and it's actually common for these kinds of people to be napping most of the day. It's also literally "falling asleep" to their own desires and ambitions, their own feelings and own identity. It's a way of numbing themselves in order to be filled by others; like this is literally a real thing that happens to people, and I have no doubt in my mind that this is what's happening to Silver as well.

ALSO HIS NAME. his name is... Silver. That's all. No last name, no way of saying exactly where he belongs. Simple, bland, and separate from everyone. Just Silver. It's literally just his hair color. There's no sentimental significance in his name at all. And he... accepts this. He accepts this as his only identification with no question or fight.

I know this seems like such a minor detail and that I'm maybe looking too deep into it, but I promise you I am not. I promise there is more to his name than just "a fairy couldn't choose a name for a baby human". Sure, that's likely where the name came from, but the fact that Silver at his current age just accepts this holds so much significance. It shows that he. does. not. care. He does not care about who he is. He does not care about his own person; he has completely washed away his own identity that calling him "Silver" is good enough for him. No meaning behind it. Just an empty word to be addressed by. Do you understand how sad this is? He sees himself as nothing special--so much to the point where he almost becomes... nobody... for he waters down every individual thing about himself so that others can fill him instead.

How do y'all not see this in Silver... Seriously how do y'all not see this in Silver?? this is who he is; he is so empty and void because he is constantly hallowing himself out for the sake of others really HOW DO YOU NOT SEE he is drowning himself... Silver is drowning

I'm sorry agaksgahsk I know this was way longer than maybe necessary but thank you so much for sticking to the end 💗

Also, I'm really not trying to... enforce my ideas about Silver onto anyone. People have their own ways of interpreting characters (especially since we don't really know much about Silver as of yet), and I totally get it. Every interpretation is beautiful; I want you to know. I'm just trying to get my own thoughts out there in the hopes that someone else might also understand and agree. To me, this is the truth of who he is 💗💗 but anything can be possible! thank you for reading this

#twisted wonderland #twst silver #twst analysis #diasomnia #malleus draconia #lilia vanrouge #sebek zigvolt #kalim al asim #rook hunt #it's embarrassing how long this took it's embarrassing how much heart i poured into this #edit: actually it's embarrassing how this whole thing is basically a rant #my takes are fine but i was not in a good state of mind while writing this ;/#sorry to everyone who read this but thank you for the engagement and validation as well #second edit: it kinda feels like I'm just... barking at you in this post #I'm a little ashamed tbh #but thanks to those who kinda saw through that and were just understanding of my momentary excitement and the things i was trying to convey

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comradesummers · 4 years

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Top 5 books or anything I should read

Hi, thanks for asking!

I’m an English major, so I can’t remember the last time I read a book that wasn’t for class. But I’ll try to recall what it was like to read books solely for pleasure. Also, I’m not going to be ranking the books because I don’t want to and I’m going to have 6 books instead of 5 because I feel like it. (Fair warning: I could write a lengthy content warning for every single one of these books, so if you’re worried about that sort of thing, I do recommend you look them up before you read them. You’re also welcome to ask me about it.)

Catch 22 by Joseph Heller

So this book was extremely written by a white guy in the 60′s. It’s the kind of novel that galaxy brain dudebros are constantly recommending to their girlfriends. But given that I put a David Foster Wallace book on this list, I might just have to accept that I’m a galaxy brain dudebro at heart.

Anyway, this novel is a brilliant deconstruction of the absurdity and tragedy of war and capitalism. It’s hilarious, clever and heartbreaking. I think a lot of authors do the non-chronological timelilne thing just to seem more interesting than they actually are, but in Catch-22, the non-linear timeline is used perfectly. The narrative works on an emotional level (even if it’s a bit confusing on the linear level) so that a lot of plot points that are initially presented as funny and absurd become such emotional gut punches later. For a book that’s known for being so clever and above it all, it is also unabashedly emotional and Heller truly cares about his characters in a way that very few satirists do. It’s a book that will make you laugh and cry and care a whole lot more than you were expecting to.

The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman

So this is kind of a weird one for me. It’s really short, more like a novella than a novel, which isn’t usually my thing. Also, the characters aren’t really characters, they’re archetypes (which is done on purpose, because that’s how a lot of short stories work, but I know that’s a turn-off for some people). I’m also not a huge horror fan and this is one of Gaiman’s more horror-y outings. So why do I love it so much? Well, it’s basically Childhood Trauma, the book, and it does that really really well. Like, through it’s archetypes and its horror tropes and its general use of shorthand, it captures this really specific atmosphere of nostalgia and fear. It’s like one short but perfectly constructed dose of pain and catharsis and it achieves that through restraint. It’s a brilliant little piece and I love it a whole lot.

Beloved by Toni Morrison

So, if it’s not clear by now, I love me some good emotional storytelling and there’s no genre more beholden to emotion than the gothic novel. And, with all due respect (and love) to the Bronte sisters, Beloved is the best gothic novel of all time. I’m honestly struggling to explain why it’s so good. Partially because everyone already knows its good. I mean, it’s a classic for a reason. But partially because talking about this book and its contents is really difficult. This is the saddest book I’ve ever read. There’s no other book that destroyed me quite as much as this one. I’ll probably never reread it because it was so hard to get through the first time. Morrison’s prose truly takes you to the depths of the pain of her characters. It presents the horrors of slavery mostly through the trauma of the aftermath and it does so with such care and brilliance. This book is truly a masterpiece and if anything on this list is required reading, especially for my fellow clueless white people, it’s this one.

Brief Interviews With Hideous Men by David Foster Wallace

I was considering leaving this one off the list, just because I was embarassed to admit that I’m the kind of person who likes David Foster Wallace. I mean, I might as well start vaping and mansplaining while I’m at it. But I decided to be honest instead, so here we are.

Anyway, I was never able to get through DFW’s headier stuff. Like I really did try to read Infinite Jest, but I could not get through it. But Brief Interviews is a short story collection, which is great, because if DFW gets too far up his own ass in one of the stories, you can just skip to another one. And to be honest, I do think there are some shitty stories in this one (wtf is that Tri-Stan shit David?). But the ones that work? Holy shit do they work. I’m not even remotely kidding when I say that The Depressed Person is what finally convinced me to go to therapy. Like I read it and I realized that if I related to the character that much, I really did need help. It’s such a good story and if you don’t want to read the whole book, at least read that one. Personally, I think it’s the best thing DFW has ever written. And the interviews themselves are almost as brilliant. Like, I know that DFW is most well known for his post-modern experimental style and his weird obsession with tennis, but honestly, I think he’s at his best when he writes character studies. He’s really good at creating uniquely shitty human beings and then truly getting to the core of why they are that way. And Brief Interviews is the crowning achievement of that.

Go Tell It on the Mountain by James Baldwin

So James Baldwin is a genius, obviously, and there are plently of novels of his I could have chosen for this list. I went with this one because I love books that follow multiple generations of one family, and this book is easily the best version of that that I’ve ever read. It’s a novel about the cycle of abuse, religion, racism, segregation, poverty, police brutality, coming-of-age and sexuality. And even though the book is pretty short, it covers all of these themes brilliantly and thoughtfully and with such love and care. It’s also semi-autobiographical, which is probably why it feels so personal and gut-wrenching. Objectively, it’s probably the best book on this list. It truly is a masterpiece from beginning to end. Also, no offense to Umberto Eco, but it has the best religion based hallucination/vision from God (depending on how you choose to read the scene) scene in any book ever.

The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay by Michael Chabon

So I know I said I wouldn’t rank anything, but this is probably my favorite book ever. The best way I can think to convey my love for it is to tell you that I’ve associated it with an unrelated song (The Only Living Boy in New York) and there are few things I care about more in the world than making sure that that song will be used in one particular scene in the inevitable TV adaptation, even though I know that’s never going to happen because it would be a completely anachronistic song choice.

It’s hard for me to describe why I love this book so much. Part of it comes down to a really specific personal connection. My grandpa, like Joe, escaped the Holocaust and went to New York and had a really close relationship with a distant cousin of his because the Nazis had killed most of his extended family. So yeah, as a Jew, this book hits pretty hard. But also, as is probably pretty apparent by now, I love pretentious prose that uses way too many big words. I also love emotional and thematic stortytelling and oh boy does this book have that in spades. And the character work is so gorgeous and I care about these people’s relationships so much and the comic book sequences recapture the feeling of golden age comic books so perfectly and god I love it so fucking much.

#christ that was hard #also shoutout to cloud atlas which i remembered halfway through writing this thing but i was too lazy to add a section for it #catch 22 #joseph heller #the ocean at the end of the lane #neil gaiman #beloved #toni morrison #brief interviews with hideous men #david foster wallace #go tell it on the mountain #james baldwin #the amazing adventures of kavalier and clay #michael chabon

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seriouslyblacklikemysoul · 4 years

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Until Forever - Sirius Black

Hey you beautiful people! Last chapter of Part I.

MASTERLIST I | II | III | IV | V | VI | VII | VIII | IX | X |XI | XII | XIII

Chapter 14. 1978.

Darkness was infinite and pain would linger on forever. There was no hope; hope was the biggest illusion human kind had manufactured in order to keep going when there was absolutely no fucking point. A black void was everything that ever was; nothing more that the absolute nothing. She felt weightless, as if the waves of the raging black sea could tear her to pieces, throw her to the rocks. Then, she felt as heavy as the universe – drowning in the mere thought of water. Her body felt tired, her mind was restless; not in a good way. She though that life went on but to her, that was the saddest part of it all. It could end two ways, both equally tragic. Either she would die amongst the rest or she would live. She didn’t know what worse. Truly, never having the chance to see her family again or staying behind? Her entire body got goosebumps and her hands were trembling. She had tried to drink her problems away, just for a few hours, but it only made her sadder, lonelier. Until she left. She wasn’t celebrating – she couldn’t celebrate the new year. Each passing second, fate was approaching them, faster than she had ever realized. Usually, it was the past that made people sad; well, she was the exception to that as well. She really wanted to go home, for this to be over, to give up Hogwarts and magic and the people. She just wanted her home back, her life, her choices – the ability to choose. She was making a run for it. After half an hour of pretending, she said her goodnight, only to few people – well, to the Potters. She couldn’t deal with questions and avoided them like bullets. Once the doors closed behind her, all the silence of the world crushed upon her; and it was louder than the loudest sound. It was suffocatingly loud. Refusing to go back inside, she climbed to her room, kicking her heels off, before even closing the door. A soft tune was stuck in her mind and the Greek poem that accompanied it – the moonlight sonata.

Let me come with you.

This house can’t bear me anymore.

I cannot endure to bear it on my back.

You must always be careful, be careful,

to hold up the wall with the large buffet

to hold up the table with the chairs

to hold up the chairs with your hands

to place your shoulder under the hanging beam.

And the piano, like a closed black coffin. You do not dare to open it.

You have to be so careful, so careful, lest they fall, lest you fall. I cannot bear it.

Let me come with you.

This house, despite all its dead, has no intention of dying.

It insists on living with its dead

on living off its dead

on living off of the certainty of its death

and on still keeping house for its dead, the rotting beds and shelves.

Let me come with you.

Oh, are you going? Goodnight. No, I won’t come. Goodnight.

I’ll be going myself in a little. Thank you.

She softly spoke the words to the still air as she was looking outside of her window, a wave of nostalgia crushing to her like a tsunami. She was deep into her thoughts, into her world of roses, poems, stardust and a serene chaos. She felt at peace in the midst of a hurricane, within dramatic lines, written by poets with elegant noses and strong beliefs. The music kept repeating memories, stirring them up as it went on. She didn’t want a happy ending, she sadly realized; she wanted tragedy, passion and catastrophe; she wanted everything and nothing. She wanted absolution. Just like every heroine in the ancient tragedies; it was in her nature. He didn’t dare to speak, to make a sound; he held his breath in fear of waking up from the tender dream he was having; a vision right before his eyes. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea, but he felt pulled towards her as if he had no other place to be; as if he was meant to be in her room. She knew that someone was watching her, and she already guessed who but took her time to face with him, with an all-knowing smile. He was caught of guard, trying to retain his posture and temper or he would just turn around and run away for good. Feeling rather ashamed that he got caught, not that he was invading her privacy, he looked at the floor, blushing ever so slightly. She really didn’t mind. How could she? “Do you like it?” she airily asked him, as she remained by the window. He gulped. He knew she was talking about the poem he heard her recite but he couldn’t shake her image, entering the ballroom. Yes, he loved it. “I didn’t know that one” he admitted quite subtly. She wasn’t surprised; it was by a Greek poet and it was an intense portrayal of the subject of loneliness and alienation of the uncommitted individual. The lady in the poem represented that part of the old world, which the poet thought it was condemned to perish with its aristocratic past because of its aversion to adapt and participate in the process of change. She thought that if anyone understood that feeling, was him. “I know” she melodiously informed him. She was enticing and it was hard for him to stay away. Not that he wanted to, in any case. No, he didn’t know which magical poem had stolen her heart but he did know that she was standing under the moonlight, her essence becoming ethereal. How evident it became? She didn’t believe in happiness and that scared him; he could feel for her but even he believed that there has to be a better way, it has to get better. She seemed to contradict him by simply suggesting that there was no point in … well, anything. Such a hopeless wanderer’s soul, she had. She was made from a different material, a nihilist and an idealist, a desperate romantic and a catastrophic pragmatist. How wonderfully vague her outlines were. Maybe it was because she was wearing a gold waterfall for a dress, but he knew better – he just couldn’t stop gawking.; to be fair he was an 18-year-old boy. “Why did you leave so soon?” he asked her without hesitation, as if al the barriers had collapsed under the moonlight. She solely focused on his eyes and he could not avert his gaze. “Tristes sous leurs déguisements fantasques - I believe it is” she quoted Verlaine and that, he did know. Sad beneath fantastic disguises. Why would she ever feel that way? He was only fooling himself. He was lying, pretending not to feel the way he did, pretending that there was nothing between them, pretending he was happy torturing Marlene, pretending everything was fine and the way they were supposed to be. “Votre âme est un paysage choisi” he quoted back, letting her know that his French was so much better than hers and that he paid attention to the details. He truly did. It was almost inappropriate for her to like him or even to think about how his eyes shined liked spilled mercury under the moonlight. However, the biggest problem was that it was unrequited. He took one step towards her direction, fully aware of the fragile moment they shared. She saw the shift in his eyes and her entire mind was screaming to her to shut up. Everyone else was probably celebrating in the midst of an upcoming war but she was fighting another one all on her own. Keeping secrets from the people whom their fates were sealed and she could not do a thing was becoming heavier by the second and that broke her.

“What – what is really happening here, love?” he questioned her with a slight anger lingering on in his voice – anger that he didn’t know he was experiencing. She was surprised by the very thought of him being angry. He wasn’t angry at her per se, he was really shaken off about not being in the known, having blanks that he had to fill by himself when it should have been her answers instead of his imagination. She wanted to tell him everything and then her mind went to the time he spent in prison for no reason at all, and she swallowed hard. How would she ever be able to come clean about that. Remus was a bit easier – yes, he was still very hurt and shocked and everything in the middle but Sirius… it was always different with him. It was always different when it came to him – she was … “I want to tell you but it’s too much. Please don’t ask me to be honest with you. Not on that level. Anything else, I will answer. Not that” she finally told him. At least, she was acknowledging all the hypocrisy and all the lying, he thought. He wasn’t looking for that answer though, he wanted the real reason behind her entire existence in his life, and so he closed the gap between them. His tall frame was towering over her, her back was pressed to the wall next to the window and his eyes were piercing her face for clues. “No. You don’t get to do that. I have been nothing but honest with you about everything. You don’t get to hide now” he pushed further, making her arch her eyebrow. As he realized that he had overstepped the boundaries, he tried to take a step back but her finger was already poking his chest through his unbuttoned shirt and undone tie. “You? Honest? Really? Is that what you tell yourself before you go to sleep? That you are honest with me? Or that you’re honest with yourself? Because neither - “Fine, what do you want me to say?” he cut her off, revealing his hot temper with a flush that appeared in his face – something she had never seen before and she had to remind herself that this Sirius was not the one from the books. He wasn’t a character anymore; he was a real person – breathing down on her. She closed her eyes, not wanting to create any more tension that what had already been created but he was not having it. He wanted answers, now more than ever, even if he knew that he, himself, had been lying all that time – this was not the same. He was lying about his feelings; she was lying about everything. “Who are you? Who could you possibly be to come here through the fucking sky? To come here and turn everything upside down. To make me question things that I thought I had figured out long ago. To make me jealous of my own best friend and to make me want to destroy every sound thing. Who are you?” he bombarded her with accusations that he wanted figured out now. And all it took was one hot second before she screamed the answers back to him, each hitting like a bullet to his heart, each being louder and louder only to finish off with a dead silence. “You think you are the one suffering? I have been trapped here for too long, I miss my home, my family, my life. I want out. I am done playing a stupid part in this scenario. I know everything. I know how are you going to end up, when, where, who dies, who lives, who fucking betrays – because I came from the sky. The fucking sky. I don’t know how or even who I am anymore. I thought you were a book character and every single thing was only real in my imagination and the pages of seven books. But no. I fucking live in the damn past – not mine. NO. A past from a different possibility. Twenty years before my birth date. And of course, out of every mistake I could possibly make, every choice gone mad, I had to - ”.

Usually, there were two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When people were afraid, they tend to pull back from life, when in love, the open up to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement and acceptance. And while fear was easier, almost natural to them, they knew that they had to step outside their comfort zone. Not finishing off her sentence, leaving it there hanging in the middle of the thick air between them, was her way of giving him space to decide and her a breather. Her mind was yelling at her to stop and think about all those things that actually mattered but not every act was a result of sensibility. Her accusing finger was still on his chest; as a matter of fact, her entire palm was being pressed against his skin – not his shirt anymore. The information was not new to him; he knew, deep down he did. Each night before he would fall asleep, he was trying to decode and figure her out, even just a bit. He was repeating the things she had said during the day, realizing just how much of an insight she had and wondering if it was just that or… It started of small, a few words of more than wisdom were spoken, a few things were said that she could not possibly know about… and the ever-present aura of secrecy. Her tattoos were one thing, her words were another. It wasn’t news to him and she noticed that. Her anger calmed down to a side smile. “But you already knew” she concluded and her touch became gentler against his chest. Gentle as a fire. He looked at her with a desperate look, as if he wanted to do so much, to say so much but couldn’t. Sirius was a lot of things, but he wasn’t a cheater. Instead of pushing her against the wall and kissing her like he had already pictured in his head about a million times, he stepped back and he sat on the bed, eyes always glued to her. “I think I did” he agreed, more to his own mind than to her words. She took a deep breath and used the chair in front of the boudoir, to the left of the big window, facing him while at the same time keeping her distance. “I still don’t think I can tell you everything, Sirius” she softly apologized but he shook his head. “It’s okay. It’s okay if I am the one dying, love, or the one going mad. You will tell when or if you’re ready. I’m sorry for… this” he said, indicating the space between them but she brushed it off. How much longer would she able to keep it hidden from James and Peter, she didn’t know. “Sirius… it’s not that simple. I know what I know from the books. So, basically, from I come from, the dimension and the time period, you, the boys, Hogwarts… magic, everything is fiction and contained within seven books that are not even about you. While these books go on, you are older and have gone through a lot. I know that part. I don’t know if it will happen the way it was supposed to, since I am here and I wasn’t supposed to, I think, but I also can’t change much in this plot. Or even if I can, I don’t know if I should. Messing with time and history is not something I am looking forward to do. Although, if I could change some things, I would without blinking” she admitted, staying as close to the truth as she could, without revealing too much. How could she face him and tell him what was about to happen to him in a few years? He wouldn’t even get to turn her age before Azkaban… and that hit her differently. “I know that there is something dark in the things you are not saying. And I know that I am neither the one who dies nor the one who lives from the way your eyes never met mine when I said it. Maybe the one who goes crazy but not exactly. That’s okay. It would happen either you were here or not. It’s better that you are. I don’t know if it is for you… I cannot imagine the weight of all those things. I am sorry” he told her sincerely. They shared so many things; intuition, depth, passion. And a five-year gap. “So you see, celebrating didn’t feel appropriate” she concluded airily. But he looked at her in a perplexed expression. “On the contrary. We should. Now more than ever. Because after all, we only have this moment, isn’t that so?” he proposed and she was astonished because he was right. He didn’t want to talk about it more, knowing that something bad happened to all of them, and that she didn’t want to say what. He understood her – it was cruel, such disastrous things being delivered by her. She held answers to questions they hadn’t even thought about yet. He could never blame her for not coming forward. Even though he wanted to be her confidant, the one she would spill her heart out he knew that she wouldn’t. Some things were better left unsaid… but…not forever. “You should go back to your friends” she suggested, as she felt worn out, wanting nothing more than to get out of the dress and makeup. “I thought we were friends” he chuckled darkly, earing a fixed glance from her piercing eyes. “Oh Sirius. You and I…we could never be friends” she admitted and there was not a single shy cell in her body. Her entire mind had shut up and every word coming out of her mouth was a sharp slap across his face, hitting him with the truest statement she could have said. He licked his lips and tamed his tongue not to respond the only way he truly wanted to as he got up and buttoned up again, to rejoin the party. “Remus knows?” he asked but it came out as a bold statement. He was jealous he wasn’t the first one to know this, or how her lips felt against his. He shook the image out of his head and focused his eyes one her. She was radiant but she wasn’t fooling anyone – she might have worn a gold dress but she was the moon, dark, secret and almost untouchable. Almost. “He does” she confirmed, realizing just how jealous he could get. She didn’t like possessiveness, mainly because she was the one being possessive in her previous relationships, but with Sirius…she could, perhaps, turn a blind eye. He was unexpected in every way, to her. He was biting his lip, deep in thought. It was tragically doomed and yet he found beauty among the disaster. It was fragile and soft, so tender but raw, catastrophe pouring down at everything. It was problematic – making homes out of people. But he had never felt more at home than with people; his best mates, his school, her. His house never felt like a home and yet he was surrounded by it. And now, a strange feeling washed over his heart. What was he doing, letting her go? He waned to kiss her, without a warning, with permission, without even deciding to do so but simply because he couldn’t think of anything else. He needed that breath she was holding. It belonged to him and he wanted it back. But there was that small voice, so ever faint, that told him it was not the time nor the place to do so. He had to physically stop from heading towards her rather than the door. And he didn’t know why he stopped. “Love, I…” he started but she gave him a sharp look. “Don’t” she whispered and he left with a heartbreaking look on his delicate features.

She found an excuse not to return to the party. She would find an excuse to return to Hogwarts as soon as possible, otherwise her entire being would implode and no one would even notice. She would just collapse under the pressure of knowledge and no one would even understand how hard her life had suddenly become. She was the girl who wanted to know everything, who went looking for knowledge every place she visited and she had become the girl who wished she didn’t know the future, who was oblivious and blissful, who stayed silent and didn’t challenge the world. It was too early. Too late maybe. No one was partying, no one was in the living room, no one was making any sound. She tiptoed around a bit. The fireplace was livid, calming and consuming at the same time as if it was calling to her. Everything will end up in flames. Not ice, but hellfire. It was the saddest thing she could have thought of. Protecting a breakable heart. What if she got the chance to leave? “Would I?” she whispered to herself. No. And that feeling of knowing that she wouldn’t be able to leave even if she did find a way, that she wouldn’t go back to her own family and her own life, that very feeling made her realize that this was indeed her home, that the people in this reality were her family and that this was her now. And she had to fight for her home and her family. She had to at least try. “We missed you at the party” a soft voice caught her off guard. She took a deep breath. This was it. This hide and seek had to end. Once she turned around, he saw how serious she was and immediately understood that something was off. His eyes were tired but alert, his whole body language was signaling that he was able to grasp the severity of whatever she had to say to him. “There is something I need to tell you but you’ll need to sit down, James”.

__ Taglist: @must-be-a-weasley-92 @megalificent @fific7 @maraudersangel @tb-ctn

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agendratum · 4 years

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Do you think that a good chunk of Jiang Cheng's issues could've been solved if he just...had someone to talk to? At any point post-wwx? Like, I'm haunted by the fact that this angry lighting child is *alone*. At many points through the series, but especially at the end, when wwx has gotten some semblance of a family/support group that he's cobbled together, and Jiang Cheng has, what, his nephew? Maybe an advisor or two?? I'm sure being left alone with his demons while do wonders for him..?

oh god where do i even begin with this, i think this messaged opened a can of worms in my brain. but do i think that it would help jiang cheng tremendously if he had someone, like anyone at all, to talk to? of fucking course!

not even just post-wwx, a bit earlier too. i mean, there is a thing about jiang cheng, right? if we don’t count jin ling in this equation, jiang cheng is one of those characters - people don’t really enter his life, they just leave. in the beginning things weren’t exactly the best, but he had his brother and sister, and all three of them, even tho they were raised in a very shitty situation with a lot of unhealthy habits and dynamics, they loved each other dearly. so he had them and he had his parents just, you know, being alive. so his was as happy as he could be for, you know, a jiang cheng. and then people just started slowly leaving his life.

and i thought about other characters that had some communication issues in the show, but they got someone, who would help them or just make them want to be better, and the characters that popped up in my brain were our terrible brothers-in-law - jin zixuan and wei wuxian. they had (and have) their own issues (some more than others), but- there’s a very important but.

for jin zixuan there were, i think, two very important people in his life, who helped him to not become a complete arrogant asshole as that seemed to be the only way to survive being a part of jin family. mianmian who was with him since childhood, i would imagine. in their interactions, i think, we can see that she could actually understand him and his intentions (sometimes even she would end up being really confused, but no shit, of course she would). and for jin zixuan, growing up in a family like that, it probably helped a lot to have someone who actually tried to understand him and stayed by his side. and second person is, ofc, yanli. yanli for jzx is this reason to get much better, because oh shit, he was scaring away the woman he loved, and that is not how you get her to marry you. so he had to overcome himself at certain points. and together, i think, they started creating a healthier and happier way of living for both of them, actually caring about each other’s needs and feelings (and then nothing ever happened to them and they lived long happy lives, the end)

wei wuxian is actually also an example of what can happen when a person thinks that they have no one at all in this world by their side. you know what happened to him because he thought he was alone in the entire world? he fucking died. jiang cheng, obv, didn’t die, he’s too angry, his rage is his moving force, he just can't not keep on going. but yeah, then wwx came back and he had lan wangji, who showed him what’s it like to have someone you can trust 100% by your side, wen ning, juniors, people just poured in his life and showed support. and it will take wei wuxian a all of fucking time to actually deal with his issues, but surely there is a base for that.

now jiang cheng. he isn’t completely alone, it’s true. he has jin ling and for him jin ling is the reason to be better. he tries his best to not be his parents and, honestly, is succeeding at this sport. but jin ling, of course, isn’t exactly a person suited for a role of someone to talk about adult issues with. he can be jiang cheng’s anchor, sure, but jiang cheng is taking care of him. and he’s a kid. and jiang cheng need a friend. another soul that would get him.

and who could it be? wwx? even if (when) they make up in the future, i don’t think they are those people for each other, you know? nhs? again maybe in the future, but during those 16 years he was locked away behind his own wall of issues and problems and stuff. jzx? i would love for them to be friends and they could probably even get each other, but they simply didn’t have enough time.

and you know one of the saddest things, jiang cheng in his sect is surrounded by people who trust him and love him and care about him and would die for him. but jiang cheng doesn’t need a person who would die for him. he already got one. look what happened. and he doesn’t need someone, who would keep him in fear of one day hearing the words “that’s what i owned to jiang sect”. he has those people and it’s just not what he needs. jiang cheng never had a person who he could really feel was there just for him. (again, no blame goes to any of the yunmeng sibs for the situation that they were raised in. i’m talking about jiang cheng’s feelings and his feelings only. not facts and others’ feelings) and having a person who he could trust to just be there for him - that would probably help him a lot. but yep during the years when he needed that the most he was just alone.

#btw wwx lost at not becoming your parents sport #get it? because he dies #and also fucking tumblr posted the reply earier #why #i'm not finished with this essay #now i'm finished #i'm not sure this had a conclusion but you asked #there is what i think #the untamed #jiang cheng #meta #is it meta for me to mumble?#cql #anonymous

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watayaaratamblr · 3 years

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Arata is an unfortunate character.

No, he is NOT!

But if we wish to make him one, then we don't need one fifth of the effort put into making Taichi the "sad" character that most fans keep labeling as "Poor Taichi", and Arata would have been then the most unfortunate character in Chihayafuru. All we need is a good mangaka (Suetsugu is!) & the intention to make him draw sympathy (the whole point), simply because Arata’s story is well packed with good material serving the purpose.

Starting with the fact that he was an almost blind child … Like “looking through a magnifying glass”, hearing voices outside but being unable to see anything~ A child who had to wear glasses from the age of 3, any writer can make this a touching story if so they wished -But Suetsugu sensei did not want to.

Growing up as a weak boy who is a letdown in everything most boys do, crying alone when he fails to fit in, disappointing his father who kept pushing him to go outside and be “normal” like all the other children all while letting go of Karuta that he was confirmed to have liked since he was very young. Writing a bit of his struggles to find a place for himself within the norms could have made readers cry a lot.

His grandfather thankfully extended his hand to him, offered him a place where he can be himself; But that too, created a situation where he maybe had to take a side & deal somehow with the other side because his grandfather & his father had a fight and he can only be torn between them. I’m no writer myself, but I can make this sentimental.

Then his father took him away to Tokyo where he had to be a part of a poor family, and not only to cancel his needs & desires (like for example having different outfits for school instead of the few he will be noticed to wear frequently) but to also work sometimes to support his parents, to wake up before school time in the early mornings when other children are probably sound asleep in their warm beds, to go outside in the cold, to earn some cash and to give it to his parents … I read some real sad stories with this idea. So yeah, Arata could have been one of the saddest characters if Suetsugu wanted him to be.

And not to mention being bullied and laughed at for not only his impoverishment (which he can hope to change) but for his identity (as a boy from Fukui speaking a “weird” dialect). He received all this with lot of patience, and tried to comfort himself by himself with his grandfather’s “gift”, how it was a refugee for him.

Any writer can make a sob story out of Arata’s unspoken loneliness & yearning for home, his grandpa & for playing his beloved Karuta properly.

Or out the fact that he couldn’t make any friends in his new school either (he was confirmed to never have real friends since his childhood through the fact that he struggled to fit in + he stayed like that even after he grew up (like Murao said), and he is not someone who doesn’t care about having friends because he was confirmed to almost worship his bond with Taichi & Chihaya, Taichi specifically even though their friendship isn’t really a comforting one; he longed for friendship however it is!)

He enjoyed that friendship nonetheless, he might even have felt like he was compensated for everything he wished for through it but he was soon robbed of all of it as he was separated from these friends & while he could still enjoy a bit of it through correspondence (at least Chihaya kept in touch), he wasn't as untroubled as needed for that because he was about to lose his precious grandfather.

And the process of losing him wasn’t something to take lightly either. Having busy (or rather negligent?) parents made him (a boy not even 14 years old) a caregiver for an old man who suffered from paralysis on the right side of his body and later dementia, not as simple as that, he had to watch what his most beloved & respected person turn into day & night, when he worked “really hard” (as stated in the manga) with his rehabilitation exercises, when he helped him with his baths, he massaged his limbs, he fed him, constantly talked to him & showed him Karuta cards to “keep him” in this world. And when it's too much for him, he goes outside the room and cries bitter tears silently, all alone! There was this person who suffered from (PTSD) for years because their sick aunt didn’t recognize them (they were her favorite nephew before & they were 17 yo at the time), this person couldn’t visit her since & couldn’t see her before she died & they developed a fear of “getting too close” & of seeing sick people, they had to seek long & serious therapeutic help. And Arata actually suffered from PTSD for over a year & half, any psychologist can easily recognize that from the fact that he quit Karuta, refused to touch & hated to see the cards (I stress on this), how he answered Chihaya when she called him, how the calm & patient him (that we knew from his childhood) was agitated & treated her rudely when she insisted on playing a match. And it was all confirmed in Arata’s last words in the same chapter: “I wanted to see you, I always had, but I didn’t want you to see me like this” (in the official tr), he knew that he wasn’t himself (contrary to what Taichi thought, his friend who decided to abandon him instead of trying to help. Chihaya still had faith in him but Taichi was louder -ch10)

Still, thanks to Chihaya, Arata was back to his beloved Karuta, though we all questioned how much fun he really felt while playing again, how much of him was involved with the game now. And eventually, he himself expressed the pressure (not the fun) he felt while playing. What took his passion away, what turned the feelings of a Karuta baka into mere obligation, this also is good content for an emotionally charged story, it only needs the intention of the writer.

And he shone in the world of Karuta. YET he was never “proud” of it, that was never received as anything special. When he comes back home, none really cares (or at least, none shows any enthusiasm), he goes to the western-challenger qualifiers and his parents won’t even go watch, won’t even prepare some food for him, he comes back home late & finds none, and prepares everything by himself (apart from Yu’s help). His parents pray for his defeat, meaning that his DREAM to become Meijin/be strongest in Karuta doesn’t mean much to them, and he knows it, and he was never shown telling them the news like when you want to share a happy one. Arata’s mother -before giving up after acknowledging Arata’s dedication- wanted his defeat even though there was enough money to support him, the lack of money being the excuse she & her husband claimed to be the reason of their lack of support.

The support system Arata lacks isn’t only in his family. Since the death of his grandfather he seems to stand alone in Karuta too. Murao was the only one who spared some time for him but only after he realized how “alone” he was and took pity on him. Murao's realization implies that the training Arata was doing at the Nagumo society didn’t really count for what he really needed. Kuriyama sensei (being expected by fans to be the “Harada” in Arata’s side) was almost useless & he himself expressed his confusion about what to do with him & how to help him. We never saw him particularly guide him in any way either. "Experiences" & "taking chances" were two factors that helped Mizusawa members for example to grow a lot, but these chances are doors without knobs & we know that they were opened for them by adults who were taking care of them in a way or another + being friends ensured that they encouraged each other then proceeded with every idea they got to learn & experience more. Arata lacks both these sources (adults around him rather burdened him with their expectations) so he kept training on his own mostly & we saw how it felt frustrating to him to be relying only on his solo training & an "image" encouraged by a long-dead teacher, he realized the toll of lacking real opponents in practice with whom he can measure his abilities & correct his mistakes to grow stronger. Support can also be emotional. Did Arata ever receive particular emotional support? I can only remember panels where the people worried for him kept watching him from afar while he dealt with it on his own.

Yu was an exception but even her support was written in a way suggesting that Arata was prepared to go on without it. Because with time, Arata learnt to "not expect much" which is also a very interesting trope for a sad story.

And he was described as “a lonely player on top” but this was never elaborated to show how it felt like to be one for Arata himself. This idea is also brilliant for melancholy if the author wanted fans to sympathize with Arata but she didn't go beyond praising Chihaya who could somehow reach him & Shinobu chan.

And while playing on his own (or working part time to support himself), taking care of himself, he met his two precious friends again (they were the only selfish desire Arata has openly expressed throughout the series). But what he felt is that he was left behind & that he was the only one so far away. And he was. They got to experience so many things he didn’t, they made new friends & new bonds & he didn’t, they got closer to each other & he didn’t… At the end he went back to be the outsider & them the two old childhood friends. If the author wrote just a little bit more about these, if she highlighted these facts they could have made a good drama.

Love is the main reason Taichi is "felt for" (because he progressed in karuta but not in Love ..not yet at least). Arata is also a part of the love triangle in Chihayafuru, and if we try to summarize it with the intention of making it sad, then let's go, there is enough to say for that, we just need a good writer (which I'm not sadly). Still in short: Arata seems to have started to develop feelings for Chihaya a long time ago but he had to keep that in check because he thought she was dating Taichi & he kept his distance out of respect for that assumed relationship even though he craved at least connecting with his old friends. When he came closer, Chihaya was interested in him but he never knew, the enthusiasm she showed him was not different from how she is with everyone, no, Taichi received special treatment, while for him, every time he tries to say something to her he is cut off somehow. Everything seemed to be against them getting close. Later Chihaya seemed to have ultimate fun with Taichi too, maybe that was the only thing he thought he could give her, now she didn't need it. Maybe he had that thought again when she praised his game against Harada sensei that's why he confessed but soon, She is once again so far away, she seemed to need Taichi to function properly, he understood that & he used that to cheer her up in her most important tournament. He wanted badly to play with her again to only be totally iced, he couldn't even be seen by her, he was so far away, she belonged to where he wasn't part of (& even her friend kana found a way to express her disapproval of him) Can we not make a drama out of this? Or out of his stuttering, awkwardness & introversion? Or maybe the fact that his parents don't understand him? And did anyone alse feel that in most of Taichi's mother's appearances, we got this feeling that Taichi is a son who should be cared for while when Arata's parents appeared, many times, we can feel how Arata was used to highlight their feelings as individuals & he was drawn there as the member of the family who had to pay attention to that? Anyway, every single one of these points alone is very good material for a "tearjerker" so what about all of them combined? because they are all facts from Arata's reality.

Again, all we need is a good writer (we have it) & the intention to make it that way which isn't there. Suetsugu decided instead to put double the effort to make Taichi the "sorrowful/anguished" one because Arata is not a character written to feel sorry for or to commiserate. He is rather written for the most part of the manga as an inspiring one, an aspiration, to be a drive & a goal. So despite having all the above circumstances, he is instead written as a character who keeps to himself, doesn't complain, hides his hardships, makes it seem that he fine when he notices that someone is watching, tries to focus on what he has & be happy with it however little or simple. That's why it's easy for him to forget & forgive, easy for him to recover & stand up again because there are other characters who need him there as an example, who think that he is perfectly fine so they should only focus on themselves and thus, Bildungsroman can be used for them. And finally- wait, what were Taichi's problems again?

----------------------------------------------------

Writer adds:

#chihayafuru #wataya arata #ayase chihaya #chiharata #mashima taichi #this is dedicated to Arata fans who are constantly told they love a one dimensional character which is just ignorance speaking #or at least looking the other way when Arata actually is there!

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99adelheid99 · 4 years

Text

cool so since I’m procrastinating anyways on my school work im just going to write a character study on beast! dazai

because I re read it and im sad and asagiri just loves to make everyone suffer

so spoilers for the beast au

((BTW IM SO SORRY TUMBLR MOBILE ISN’T LETTING ME CUT THE POST TO A READ MORE SO IM GOING TO TRY TO DO IT ON MY PC AND HOPE IT WORKS IF IT DOESNT IM SO SORRY;;;; ))

asagiri has already decided to make dazai a tragic character and break our hearts once, but he decided to also rip them out and spit on it.

in the canon world, we see dazai struggle through depression. ever since he was young he found there was no value in living as he says to mori in the fifteen arc. he tries throughout his life desperately to understand just why humans strive to live, why they fight so hard for their lives and work hard to live life to the fullest.

it’s no different in the many other worlds The Book had created, and that lonely hole in his chest is probably much bigger.

as explained by dazai in the light novel, the power of The Book does not effect him because of his ability, since The Book itself is an ability, dazai naturally cancels it out. because of this, dazai can practically “read his own memories” from the canon world. so he knows everything that happens in the original universe, that goes for every single dazai in every single au. every single one.

this in itself is probably one of the saddest things. if people not understanding dazai didn’t hurt enough in the canon world, imagine how horrible it is that the beast! dazai had suffer with this knowledge alone, because as mentioned, it’s not wise for a lot of people to know about The Book since the world they reside in will become unstable, and have a chance of disappearing.

at the end of the light novel we also learn of dazai’s plan. why he captured gin, and why he wanted to bring akutagawa and atsushi together.

it was for odasaku.

because dazai has the memories from his “original” self, he remember odasaku. he remembers how he died, he remembers that they were best friends, he remembers how odasaku was the only person who understood dazai to his core, he remember how much odasaku means to him.

but odasaku of this world doesn’t remember it at all. because to him it never happened. there is only the beast world and the beast world alone.

this is where the angst hits (harder lol)

dazai figures out (at some time idk when) that this is the only universe that odasaku survives (im not sure how exactly, im assuming he can read the memories of the other dazais? Idk)

he remembers odasakus passionate of becoming a writer, he remembers odasakus determination not to kill just so he could write his own novel.

and because I really do believe dazai has a heart shrouded in all that darkness, dazai wants the best for odasaku, dazai wants to make it so odasaku can continue to survive and write his novel.

so dazai being dazai makes this extremely elaborate extra ass plan to make sure it happens.

dazai knows that this world has a chance of disappearing since every time something is written down in The Book in any other au (I think? I believe it can be any one of them not just the canon one) The Book doesn’t create it out of nothing exactly, but borrows from other worlds to create what is written in the book to reality.

dazai’s afraid that this world might cease to exist, and if it does odasaku won’t get to write his novel in this only universe he survives in, odasaku won’t he happy and dazai doesnt want that.

now extra ass osamu here uses a lot of cruel tactics to get to his end goal, and it isn’t right at all, but I still have to sympathize because its just so painful lmao

during akutagawa and atsushi’s final battle, dazai goes to the lupin bar where he meets odasaku for the first time in this world. I feel like dazai fought with himself a lot not to visit odasaku during this time, probably wanting to do nothing else but to run to his old friend that he missed so damn much. and I think he couldnt resist in the end, I think he desperately wanted to see him one last time because from the very beginning he knew his own fate.

one of the many (lol) things that hurts me during this meeting is how dazai immediately jumps happily into conversation with odasaku when he sees him, how he invites him quickly to sit down with him (in which odasaku does but doesn’t sit right next to him, which seemingly hurts dazai, ouch my heart) and how he picks up conversation that dazai would normally have with odasaku in the real world, asking him if anything interesting happened to him that day or telling him about new suicide methods he tried, which leaves odasaku heavily confused as he kind of awkwardly replies to each question.

now because the pov during this scene is in oda’s, we don’t get know exactly what dazai is thinking, but oda describes his posture and reactions well for us to take a guess of how hard it is for dazai to not have probably the most important person in his life not know or care about him.

dazai tightening his grip around his glass, or dazai looking like a happy child in one second to trying to compose his emotion with a small smile in the next, these reactions happen when odasaku keeps bringing up how he doesn’t know dazai and how confused he is. and dazai trying to hold onto something, someone, who made him so happy. trying to ignore the pain he feels and grasp on to the good memories he has but odasaku doesn’t.

and then there’s the part in the bar that asagiri decided to write because he’s a writer and like all authors, lowkey likes to see his audience suffer.

when dazai calls oda by his nickname odasaku once again trying to get him to understand him, the man replies:

“Don’t call me Odasaku. There is no reason of an enemy to call me that.”

yeah I cried

I cried a lot

dazai’s reaction didn’t help either.

The young man suddenly seemed to have trouble breathing…He fought against something invisible.

in this world, dazai probably mastered concealing his emotions (he does in like every world, but he’s much more grim in this one so) he put up this wall and put on a mask for everyone but odasaku, he let his wall down and odasaku didn’t acknowledge it, didn’t bring him some sort of comfort like he did in the canon universe. not intentionally of course, not because odasaku was cruel, but odasaku didn’t know dazai as anything else but his enemy. for all he knows, dazai could be trying to manipulate him.

theyre enemies. they could never be friends in this world. but dazai seems to still try, even a little.

in the end, they part ways. dazai putting on that mask once again, and acting like this whole meeting didn’t just destroy him. because it would be worth it in the end, odasaku would live, be happy, write his novel.

dazai would suffer, but that’s okay. odasaku hates dazai, but that’s okay.

because odasaku is alive. odasaku is happy. and to dazai that’s enough.

we get to the ending that no one wants to read because we’re already in pain and we know asagiri is waiting there with a shotgun to deliver the final blow.

dazai arrives after akutagawa and atsushi’s fight to reveal his reasoning behind his plan. how atsushi and aku have to work together protect The Book to make sure this world doesn’t disappear just for oda, and he mentions how no more then two people can know about the existence of The Book also for the protection and stability of their world.

atsushi decides to so some quick maths then, and realizes in horror that dazai has slowly made his way to the edge of the building.

he pleads with dazai to not do it, but theres obviously no stopping him.

and in that moment I believe for the first time in a long time dazai is truly content.

the hatred towards him is heavy, but it doesn’t matter to dazai because odasaku is safe. he completed his mission.

dazai planned all of this from the very beginning up to his death. now, arguably, despite dazai’s heartwarming end goal he was still an awful person. he was abusive and manipulate. he hurt and killed others to get what he wanted. he was not a good person

but he suffered so much for the sake of one person, he knew his ending wasn’t going to happy, but the end goal was enough. the end goal made it worth it.

osamu could never tell anyone about his pain, not even his best friend. he had to instead put on the mask of the cruel boss of the port mafia. people either had to hate him or fear him. no one could ever love him, no one could ever care for him. and osamu knew that. from the very beginning. asagiri truly wrote a tragic but beautiful character.

now if you’ll excuse me im going to go cry :)))

#i cried while writing this #im so sorry #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd dazai #dazai osamu #bsd beast light novel #bsd beast #beast dazai #character analysis #oda sakunosuke #odasaku #bsd odasaku

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hairasuntouchedaspartoftheamazon · 2 years

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I posted 28,575 times in 2022

160 posts created (1%)

28,415 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@arsonist-macaron

@master7mindd

@thatgaydemigodnerd

@takemetosynagogue

@ulysses-but-somehow-more-transer

I tagged 1,959 of my posts in 2022

#sebastian speaks - 136 posts

#sebastian speaks about space pirates - 43 posts

#the mechanisms - 35 posts

#nastya rasputina - 21 posts

#jim jimenez - 20 posts

#holy shit - 15 posts

#sebastian writes - 14 posts

#ashes o'reilly - 13 posts

#fanfiction - 11 posts

#yooooo - 9 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#like you get this idea of him as a deeply dramatic but also very powerful god-creature who is at turns kind and petty depending on his mood

My Top Posts in 2022:

I need you to know that, spiritually, we are all in someone's basement right now huddled around a radio and poking each other with excitement

137 notes - Posted November 29, 2022

I maintain that Sigyn is the saddest Mechs song because Loki is still alive! She’s not dead, she’s sitting right there but she doesn’t know who Sigyn is! She doesn’t know her wife! Sigyn is staring at the woman she loves and lost and that woman doesn’t know her anymore! I start sobbing horrifically!

146 notes - Posted March 17, 2022

me rewatching the end of gravity falls season 2, where the apocalypse is started unwillingly by a protagonist who has left home due to emotional and physical fallout with authority figures close to them who had the knowledge of how to bring about the end of the world, who also has had interactions with entities of pure fear that really like fucking with people in a post-apopcalyptic hellscape where certain people have more control over their surroundings than others due to their connection to the fear god thing that also has a fortress high above the hellscape where they watch over everything with a giant eye: huh, wonder what this says about my taste in media

158 notes - Posted May 13, 2022

Perhaps one of my favorite things about Jim and Oluwande’s relationship is just how they’re both so earnest and honest.

Like, okay neither of them can lie for SHIT but they also never lie to each other even about silly things like what their plans are, and they just are very open with how they feel about each other even when there’s a lot of other shit going on.

Olu is immediately on board with whatever Jim is doing, and is very open about how he considers them family and wants to be around them. Told literally everybody he was having trouble fucking sleeping because he missed Jim.

Jim, despite being a very secretive person, lets Olu know a lot of important things about them, introduces him (not anybody else) to their Nana, and then, after explaining how important their revenge is to them, chooses him over said revenge. Gave up revenge to come back to the Revenge, for Olu.

Also there’s the fact that like, their entire friendship began when Olu helped Jim murder somebody and then the two of them went on the run together and caught feelings while working on the weirdest fucking ship ever. They are literally ride or die and I ADORE THEM.

242 notes - Posted April 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Sorry, just me daydreaming about what the filler episodes of Our Flag Means Death would be like if it was a 22-24 episode season type deal. Obviously all the canon episodes and emotional beats stay because they’re perfect but more episodes means more time for shenanigans and I love me some shenanigans.

Important Things To Include:

-Episode where Black Pete somehow ends up telling stories about Blackbeard to a bunch of kids, ya know, with all the gritty details of how good a pirate Blackbeard is and how smart he is, etc., inter-cut with scenes where Ed and Crew are attempting to teach the crew of the Revenge how to properly pillage/burgle a town and failing miserably

-Jim’s Day Out (because in my fantasy season we get to see more of Jim’s revenge arc before they make the decision to go back to the Revenge) where we get to see them at their most badass while hunting down the Siete (Cinco, ahora) Gallos, but bonus points if we see how much they miss Olu and how their found family contributes to their decision to abandon their revenge

-Episode where Stede and Roach team up to organize and cook a very fancy birthday dinner for Frenchie, which consistently gets foiled by Wee John who is really trying to help but just keeps setting things on fire. Ed has the job of keeping Frenchie distracted and they end up singing some very dirty songs in a pub, and it turns out that Ed spoiled the surprise in like the first five minutes but Frenchie’s cool with it because Wee John made fireworks

-Frenchie becomes friends with a cat. Later, there is a dispute between Karl, Olivia, and said cat that the entire crew takes sides over and this is taken Deadly Seriously, like to the point where no one will talk to each other if they’re on opposite sides. There’s almost a mutiny, and Izzy would enjoy the hostility if he could figure out what it’s about, because no one will tell him. (Bonus points for Stede and Ed trying to communicate that this doesn’t actually impact their growing friendship, that they’re important to each other)

-The crews decide to rob an art gallery/learn about art showings, and the Swede becomes a very good forger while we get to see more of the Revenge crew in fancy outfits (I am looking at you Roach)

-They stage a play on ship (this is a thing real pirates did, okay, it is) and everyone gets very in character; when they get boarded by the Spanish who are still mad at them for Blackbeard kidnapping their hostages, they proceed to competently dispatch the invaders while in character. The second they’re out of character they generally suck at piracy again.

Feel free to add more ideas I’m playing these in my mind on repeat

426 notes - Posted April 4, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #false #Sebastian speaks

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echo-three-one · 3 years

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Chapter 27

Who's still reading this? Have fun!

CW : character death (This spoils a lot I'm sorry but I have to put it.)

THE ROAD SO FAR

Previous Chapter : What's behind door number two?

Staying in Shape

John Price

MacTavish Residence, Glasgow, Scotland

It has been almost three days since the culmination of the New York Attack and most of his contacts regarding Nero and Shepherd's movements were quiet. He was getting anxious to step back into the fight, but without sufficient intel, or even better weapons, they couldn't do anything.

Price scanned the room, everyone else started to pair up with each other, a dynamic he expected to happen anytime soon. With all the challenges they've been through, finding love within each other was inevitable. And Price was fine by that. Heck, when he was younger, he had his fair share of romance during missions.

With the thought of Nero and Shepherd resurfacing any moment soon, Price devised a plan, to keep his crew in shape and always prepared to deploy as soon as sufficient intel is presented.

With the help of Jack, they created a training and endurance exercise schedule, where the soldiers, including Price himself, would follow to still continue to stay in shape and prepared for battle. They asked permission from Soap who was more than willing to help, an excited grin all over his face.

"I'll help you set up." he said, gaining a nod from the old man.

"France will train at the basement gym." He added and Soap nodded.

From that moment, the team started training, improving their physical abilities and endurance. Weapons training wasn't possible at the moment as they left it all in Brazil.

Jack overlooked the team from afar, Samantha and Maxine were at the gym helping out France's version of the training. They did the regular set of training from standard 141 protocol, using everyday materials in exchange for some of the equipment Soap didn't own. Price also instructed a specific dietary plan for the soldiers instead of just eating whatever they liked.

While on break, the two girls, Samantha and Maxine approached Price with an excited look in their eyes. Priced raised an eyebrow and asked what they were up to.

"Everyone's doing their best and We both wanted to offer our help." Samantha explained as Maxine inserted.

"We'd like to apply as the team's dietician and health consultant. My resumé is that I have vast knowledge in cooking along with their nutritional information." She grinned.

"And Samantha here has little background on tending to physical wounds and pain. You could see how fast Alex's face healed!" Maxine added. Price was more than happy to accept their offer, it goes to show that they were willing to give whatever it takes for the people and cause they cared about.

"Alright. Guess you're both hired." he chuckled as the two cheered and made their way to their respective 'partners', probably out to share the good news.

Wiping his sweaty forehead with a towel, he looked around the main room where everybody was. Jack was by the office, looking up something on the laptop or probably just playing solitaire. Soap and France were at the gazebo, he could barely see them by the angle he's at but he couldn't miss that flashy mohawk.

To his left, he saw Samantha sitting on Alex's lap as she carefully cleaned Alex's bruise, Roach sat on the other end of the sofa, chugging a bottle of Gatorade while Maxine stood behind him, he could barely hear it, but it looked like the newly hired dietician was already lecturing him about the benefits of said drink, saying the word 'electrolytes' somewhere in the sentence.

He felt proud that this team stood by him ever since he made that choice. He was very grateful that he had someone whom he shared common goals with.

"Price. It's for you." Jack called from the office, causing him to immediately get up and answer the call.

"Aye, this is Price. Got anything for me?" he muttered.

"John. Looks like your friend is on the move." Kate Laswell spoke on the other end of the line, her voice was authoritative as always.

"Which one?" he chuckled, it was about time he received some news.

"Shadow Company. Looks like they're brave using the same car again. Same plate and all." she informed, giving Price the last route they went before going cold once again. It led them to an empty warehouse just by the docks.

"Just what are these bastards up to…" he muttered.

"I have no idea. Think you'll do recon? It doesn't strike as a threat to warrant an official team, this leads really calling your name, John."

Laswell hinted. Despite him being out of the force and one of Fbi's most wanted, Kate insisted to use such perk for further trapping the suspicious Shepherd.

"I worked hard forming the 141 and he easily disbands it like it's nothing…" she added, her voice sounded very bitter.

"Now now, Kate. Take it easy. We'll get him. He's bound to fuck up anytime soon. Keep in touch, mkay?" he said as they both said their goodbyes and ended the call.

"A little recon mission won't hurt, right?" he nudged to Jack who grinned proudly at the solitaire victory screen, cards bounced all around the edges of the screen.

John Price found himself unable to sleep. It was either he's actually excited to do some missions or he's too worried about what they're about to discover, what would Shadow Company be up to and what is the quiet Nero planning behind the scenes? His thoughts raced to a dozen possibilities, all calling for drastic measures and sacrifices. He knew he had allies by his side, allies that are always ready to do whatever it takes to fix this mess.

He lazily dragged his feet to get a glass of water in the kitchen, despite being huge, the house was awfully quiet. Too quiet that he could hear every soft rustling from the halls.

He wasn't one to eavesdrop but he couldn't help but hear soft murmuring near MacTavish's bedroom.

"So.. um.. same time tomorrow?" said a low Scottish voice a chuckle followed. It was obviously Soap and Price thought only enemies were doing something behind the scenes.

"You wish.." a female voice giggled.

"But seriously… Thanks for tonight John." she added.

"No problem, Francine. So.. what's stopping you from staying overnight?" he chuckled. Price knew this was wrong but his glass of water was still half full.

"You know that I'd love to… but Maxine also needs me right now. Especially that she's slowly recovering bits and pieces of the past." she reasoned and Price knew it was time to head back to his room quietly.

Maxine Winters

MacTavish Residence, Glasgow, Scotland

It felt real. She looked around and felt that this was more than just an ordinary dream. The vision was too dark with a small ray of light peeking from the slightly ajar door.

She knew where this was. She liked hiding here, her parent's closet.

She was waiting for Francine to find her, Francine always knew where she hid. But in this certain memory, she wasn't there.

She giggled quietly and hushed herself as soon as the door opened, France was going to find her. But instead, what she heard was her Dad saying words of assurance followed by heavy breathing. She was curious enough to peek through the small opening.

Her dad carried her Mom to the bed, his hands held hers tight, wiping the sweat off her forehead as her chest rose and fell quickly, her breath was labored and her eyes looked tired.

"Hang in there, love. The doctor's on the way." his father assured, making his wife comfortable as they wait for help to arrive.

"I don't think I can make it anymore…" She whispered.

"No no no. Don't do this to me Coraline, don't you want to see our angels grow up?" he sobbed, tears fell on her hands as he kissed it. Maxine remained still, she wanted to cry but she just sat inside the closet, peeking, frozen in a mix of fear and worry.

"I do , Love … but it looks like my body can't make it to that day… I'm sorry…"

"Don't! Please Coraline, stay strong, for me… for the kids…"

"I am… and I know that you know it." she exhaled, panting heavily after the last sentence. Her Dad hugged her until her breathing stabilized, while Coraline weakly raised her hand and hugged him back.

"Promise me you'll see the kids grow up…

Promise me to tell them how much I love them every single day…

And promise me that you'll never forget how much I loved you… Francis Maximus Winters." tears fell from her tired eyes. Her dad held her cheek and wiped it off, sobbing as she slowly closed them.

"I'm not sure if I could keep all of those promises… but I will try… I love you Coraline Winters, I always have and I always will, until the time we'll meet again." he muttered. Maxine witnessed it all, the way her father's face frowned when he realized he just lost his wife. It was one of her saddest memories.

Maxine gasped and opened her eyes, touching her face as soon as they opened. Tears. She was crying while asleep. She flicked the lamp and looked around her, France wasn't around. Just as she pulled the sheets so she could leave the bed, the door knob slowly turned and a soft creak was heard. It was Francine.

"France!" Maxine gasped and immediately ran to her side, hugging her tight as she began crying. France smelled different, almost masculine, but she didn't mind.

"Max! What happened? Are you okay?" France quickly hugged her, rubbing her back as she quietly bawled out her emotions.

"I saw… " She panted.

"I saw… Mom…"

"Mom died…" She exhaled as Francine escorted her downstairs to the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water to calm her heart.

"You were in the closet. We were supposed to be playing hide and seek." France muttered as Maxine turned to her.

"Francis… Maximus Winters." she recalled.

"That's dad's name. It's quite long, right? Mom actually liked him because of it." France enlightened, trying to make Max calm down.

"Yeah… is he ?" Max asked.

"Yeah… but he's kinda forgot about us now. Every time we visit he just looks for Coraline."

"Mom."

"Yes."

"He kept his promise." Max said.

"Huh?" France tilted her head.

"Mom's last words. Promise me you'll see the kids grow up…

Promise me to tell them how much I love them every single day…

And promise me that you'll never forget how much I loved you…" Max recalled from her dream and as more words were added, France's sobs were louder.

"He… he did them all…" France cried as they both hugged each other. And it was the moment that Maxine remembered what France looked like when they first met, her smile… It was the smile of someone who was finally reunited with her only family, and it was painful how the only ones she could cling to couldn't remember her.

"What's that smell?" Maxine asked as she killed the mood of the sisterly hug. France's face turned red, even in the dimly lit room, Max could tell that she was blushing.

"N-Nothing… I don't smell anything." She laughed nervously.

"I swear I passed by that scent somewhere…" she looked at her suspiciously and laughed, shrugging it off which actually made France relax her shoulders.

"Let's go back to sleep." Maxine invited her sister and they both got back to their room.

Next Chapter : Docked and Loaded

Notification Squad my Beloved

@beemybee @enderio @smokeywhalee @samatedeansbroccoli @whimsywispsblog @ricinbach

#horrayfic #codmw #john soap mactavish #john price #simon ghost riley #alex echo 3 1 #gary roach sanderson #whateverittakes

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singingvio · 4 years

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LEGEND OF MANGA LISTS: Top 5 SADDEST Moments in the Zelda Manga Series!

((NOTE: Twilight Princess mangas and the Skyward Sword excerpt in the Hyrule Historia are excluded from the mangas considered in this list.))

1. Volvagia’s Demise (Ocarina of Time part 1)

In chapter 3 of Ocarina of Time, part 1, the story depicted is titled “An Old and Beloved Friend.” This chapter mostly depicts Link and Volvagia’s fight, along with their backstory depicted solely in the manga and not in the game, as it isn’t canon. The chapter starts with Link’s bow out, a single arrow ready to be embedded in Volvagia’s skull, only for Link to falter. The dragon burns Link and nearly kills him, only for Link to be healed by Sheik.

Link insists to the Goron Link that he can’t fight Volvagia. Sheik makes a fairly robotic comment while playing his harp that the only way to subdue Volvagia is to kill him, and Link loses it, yelling at Sheik, “That’s easy for YOU to say! There must be some way to make him remember me!” Sheik shows him exactly what disasters are happening due to Volvagia’s tantrum, Kakariko and Goron villages close to destruction, and Link sadly recounts the story of how he and Volvagia met before his inevitable battle.

Link saw him as a baby, locked in a cage with a price of seventy rupees in Castle Town. Link bought the dragon and set him free, only for Volvagia to bite his hand and burn his hair with his flames. Link tries to ignore the dragon later, when it follows him, but then Volvagia ends up burning a Stalfos that had been sneaking up to kill Link. Link then befriended the dragon, and Volvagia said his name aloud, and the memory fades as Link is brought out of his story by someone warning him that the volcano is about to erupt.

Link, in a futile, heartbreaking effort to make Volvagia remember him, yells out, “It’s me! Link! Remember me!” Seeing as this does nothing, Link drives his sword into Volvagia’s flesh, beheading him. At his final moments, Volvagia remembers Link and starts to cry, calling his name out one last time to an expressionless Link as he dies.

2. Ghandi’s Defeat and Link’s Following Despair (A Link to the Past)

In Act 3 of A Link to the Past, Sacrifice, Link and Ghandi (a character created to be Link’s friend and travelling companion exclusively in the manga) travel through the Dark World, saving its inhabitants from fates worse than death to pay for their sins. When Link talks to a gossiping monster of a swamp, it is revealed that Zelda is at Turtle Rock, and Link heads there immediately. Ghandi, however, stays behind.

Ghandi claims that a bandit can’t risk her life just to save someone else, and Link argues that he only got this far because of her helping him. They inevitably split up, and Ghandi worries silently about Link and confesses to herself that she’s had a crush on him and can’t bear to see him reunited with Princess Zelda, as he clearly loves her instead.

Meanwhile, Link makes his way to Agahnim at Turtle Rock, to free Princess Zelda. Agahnim calls on a giant, firebreathing hydra to stop Link from saving Zelda, and Link, thinking nothing of it, defeats the monster with ease. Link comments on the monster’s strength, saying, “It’s kinda weak, for such a big…” and then he realizes. The monster vanishes into smoke, revealing the broken body of Ghandi, who isn’t dead, but very close. Link is heartbroken, and immediately hatred fills his heart as he turns on Agahnim for making him fight Ghandi.

Agahnim points out what Link is becoming, a hateful wolf, and Link watches his own body transform in horror as he cries out in agony. Zelda manages to break free of her crystal cage, and heals Link from his beastly form. Together, they manage to heal Ghandi before she dies as well, and the two are properly reunited.

3. Pirate Captain and His Lady (Oracle of Ages)

In chapter 7 of Oracle of Ages, The Pirate Captain, Ralph and Link are stranded in an unknown body of water on a raft, trying to get back to the mainland to rescue Nayru. They’re rescued by the Pirate Captain, a man worn away to only soul and bone, as is his crew. Ralph and Link ask him how long he’s been sailing, and he replies that he doesn’t know and is very tired.

The Captain and Link discuss Link’s sword and its fine craftmanship, and then the Captain notices Ralph holding the Harp of Ages, and asks for a song. Ralph obliges, playing a traditional waltz, and the captain is happily lost in the memory of when he was in Labrynna, dancing with a fine lady under the stars. He says, “I remember this song from when I danced with her! We were in love, and the world was ours. Until it ended, and I set to sea to forget. But I could never forget… not her.”

He then makes a bold declaration, one soon revealed to be one of many when Link reads his logbook, that he will make it back to Labrynna to reunite with the lady he still loves to this day. As the ship is caught up in a horrific storm, Link gets his hold on the Captain’s logbook, reading in horror the logs there. “Day 23: set sail for Labrynna. Encountered a storm. Day 145: Storm. Day 317: Storm… They’ve been stuck in this storm forever!”

Link and Ralph attempt to escape the ship in their fear that they won’t be able to, and the Captain attempts to stop them. Link manages to tell the Captain that if he lets them go, he can fix things for him and his Lady, and the Captain, on the brink of tragedy as he lets Link and Ralph go, his final words are a request to Link. “If y’see this lady on your journeys, lad, tell her… the Knight who set sail… will love her for all eternity.” He shows Link a picture of Queen Ambi, and with that, he disappears without a trace, and is never shown again.

4. Shadow Link’s Final Stand (Four Swords part 2)

In chapter 12 of Four Swords part 2, The Four Sword Forever, we see the Four Links’ final stand against Vaati in order to save Zelda. Previously in the manga, Shadow was resurrected using the power of the Dark Mirror after a crushing betrayal from Vio, the smart, collected side of Link he’d thought to be his friend before his temporary defeat. The Dark Mirror is the source of all dark magic, including his life force. Shadow was resurrected right in front of Zelda, who was staring sadly at him, and he yells at her angrily to not take pity on him, as he hates it.

Zelda is then enshrouded in a dark cloud, and Shadow panics, asking Vaati what’s happening to her. When he realizes Vaati is going to kill Zelda, he completely breaks down, taking a quick detour to help the Links by disguising himself as Vio before going back up and grabbing a chair Zelda had been sitting in prior to her slow poisoning in the cloud, throwing it at the Dark Mirror with a scream and breaking the center of it.

Finally, in the final chapter of Four Swords part 2, the Links are almost where Shadow, Zelda and Vaati are. Shadow is incredibly weak, putting almost all his weight on the side of the Mirror. Vaati panics, yelling at Shadow that if he destroys the mirror, Shadow will die too. Shadow grins at Vaati, before saying, “That’s all right. I came out of the Dark Mirror. And with it’s power I woke you. How fitting that I use it to destroy us BOTH!” And with that, he shoves the mirror to the ground, successfully killing Vaati.

The other Links find his body lying next to the mirror, thanking him, and Shadow starts to close his eyes when Vio yells at him to “hang in there!” Shadow then calmly recounts what his life is like as Link’s shadow. “A shadow… usually only ever follows its body. It never gets to lead the way. Today I faced the enemy… on my own. It felt pretty good, but that still doesn’t make me… part of the body.”

Green (the leader and most ‘Link-like’ of the four) tells him the opposite, telling him that he’s their friend, and Shadow, with newfound energy, gets up and reaches towards the other Links, only for him to fade into the light and disappear, dying permanently and for the last time as the other Links stare at where he once was.

5. Skull Kid’s Backstory (Majora’s Mask)

In chapter 9, Fierce Deity Link, the Moon is stopped by the four Giants in Termina. Link sees Tael and Tatl reunited, and notes how sweet it is before thanking the Giants and joking with Tatl about how long it took for them to arrive. Skull Kid, meanwhile, shakes in the background, knocked to the ground and not getting up. In a moment of clarity, the mask not having control on him in his moment of emotion, Skull Kid despairingly recounts his tale.

Skull Kid sadly says that he didn’t mean for this to happen, only wondering why the Giants left him. A flashback is then shown from Skull Kid’s point of view, the Giants getting ready to leave as Skull Kid desperately tries to hold them back. “Why?! No! No, you mustn’t! Hey… Wait! I said wait! Don’t go! Hold on! I said wait! Don’t go! Can’t you hear me?!”

He cries out, many times, sometimes even trying to forcibly hold the Giants back and failing drastically. He ends up falling off a cliff, still trying to catch up with the Giants as he’s battered and bruised, still crying, “Don’t go!” He’s then seen travelling across the desert, tripping and folling multiple times, when he accidentally steps in a bird nest. The birds immediately attack him, yelling at him to watch where he’s going and that it’s fun to hurt him by pecking him.

Skull Kid shakily reaches a hand up to keep going, but gives up as rain pours down on him, tears pouring down his face as he stares at the ground in defeat. The flashback fades out, as Skull Kid says a truly heartbreaking line before being taken over by Majora’s Mask once more, initiating the final battle. “I guess… we never really were friends… after all. They didn’t even say goodbye. Nobody likes me. But with this… Everyone will do what I want! This MASK is my only friend!”

RUNNER UPS

Mask Creations (Majora’s Mask) - The deaths of Darmani, the Goron, and Mikau, the Zora, when Link dons both masks to fulfill their final wishes. Darmani, to see his son again and make the child happy, and Mikau, to spend at least one more concert with Lulu and the other members of his band.

Great Mayfly Fairy’s Transformation (Minish Cap) - The transformation at the hands of Vaati of a lovely singing fairy, with a beautiful voice. Link wistfully mentions that she looks a little like Zelda and Vaati, in a fit of mild hysteria at this point, transforms her into a horrible moth creature. Her transformation is shown to be painful and heartwrenching, as is her defeat.

Deku Tree’s Death (Ocarina of Time part 1) - The famous death of the Deku Tree, in manga format. Link is told of his quest by the Deku Tree, and that the Deku Tree is going to die in the next few minutes. Link cries and even punches the tree in a fit of anger and sadness, crying that the Deku Tree can’t leave him until the Deku Tree inevitably dies and Link must leave on his quest.

Green’s Defeat Against Vio (Four Swords part 2) - When the four Links are finally reunited, Green, Red, and Blue face Vio and Shadow in a battle to the death with Green fighting Vio. Their battle comes to a close as Green falls to the ground, seemingly stabbed through the gut as Vio walks off victorious. Red and Blue yell at Vio and cry over Green, until it’s revealed after Vio and Shadow leave that it was all a ruse and Green was only knocked out.

Zelda and Link’s Meeting (A Link to the Past) - Link finds Zelda in a dungeon, and Zelda tearfully recalls how she had almost given up hope of rescue, stating that she thought she had been all alone until Link had finally found her. Link then embraces her, stating that he heard her voice and she was never alone.

#Legend of Manga Lists #legend of zelda #ocarina of time #a link to the past #oracle of ages #four swords #majora's mask #minish cap

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