#sad kinda bad day where a pet is sick and things are looking very low

[mekanikaltrifle]

No thoughts, head empty c:

[jojoboisimagines]

Snippets Ch.4 : Johnny and Josuke (4) with the Same Crush (3)

Previous Chapter

A set of multiple drabbles/oneshots combining characters (i.e Jojos) from multiple parts and AUs.

.::.

"That guy...do you think--" Josuke started.

"That's their boyfriend? No idea." Johnny quickly answered, trying to play it off as if he didn't care.

It was quite the opposite. He may have cared too much.

To say Johnny was jealous was an understatement. But it seemed like Josuke was feeling some of the heat too, seeing you hanging out with some guy and proceeding to talk about him with Josuke when the two of you went to lunch the other day.

Josuke was still in the dark about Johnny’s own crush on you, which was a relief for the jockey, but it was hell for him, having to be afraid of either guy winning you over first.

He just needed to muster up the courage to talk to you again, but it was a lot more difficult than he thought it’d be. You two always seemed to be busy when the other wasn’t. Of course he still had Gyro (and occasionally Josuke and Hot Pants) to keep him company, but he missed you.

The little spat the cousins had was forgotten for a while. They didn’t exactly apologize to each other, but just starting to talk normally again was enough sign there was no hard feelings. The younger teen was still very confused about Johnny’s intentions that day.

‘ Was he trying to be a good role model or was he just mad I was leaving him at home?’ he thought. It didn’t really matter to him anymore, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t concerned about what Johnny must’ve been thinking, and if he still did feel that way.

They sat at a small table on the far side of the kitchen. Josuke, looking rather bored, held his head on his palm, while Johnny was playing on their shared Switch. Or at least, was pretending to be after Josuke brought up the subject.

“Hey, can I ask you an honest question?” The Japanese teen breaks the icy silence once again.

Johnny merely raises an eyebrow with a low ‘hm’ that was barely audible. His heart silently raced thinking of what the boy sitting across from him had on his mind to ask.

“(y/n)...how long have you known them?” 

A simple enough question to start off with, Josuke thought. Yet Johnny’s lips still pursed.

“Uh...about half a year now. We got really close in that time I’d say.” That last part wasn’t even to get a rise out of Josuke, he just genuinely thought so. He really cared about you, romantically or not.

Meanwhile, Josuke had only known you for the duration of the summer, which was about to end in a couple of weeks. Perhaps if he’d beg Johnny to let him stay he’d have more time to bond with you, but there was also the issue of him feeling homesick from time to time.

God, if he could take you back to Morioh with him..it’d be like a dream come true.

They both had quickly forgotten about whatever guy Josuke was referring to earlier, mixed up in their own thoughts about their relationship with you. Besides, he had only ever seen the guy once, there was no way you’d switch up on him that quickly.

He had no dates or anything planned with you like he usually does, though. Not that he didn’t want to spend time with you, he just felt as if he was coming off as a little...clingy.

Higashikata had been trying to drop hints that he liked you, such as buying you things, having heart-to-heart conversations as he’d walk you home, calling you pet names, and ending his goodnight texts with a little heart emoji. He considered himself a romantic, but when it came to your reactions, you kinda brushed them off platonically. Perhaps you’d never been flirted with before?

His texts were still frequent, making sure you were having a good day and all, but he figured maybe he should start being a little more risky..

“What do you like about (y/n) anyways?” Johnny asked.

There was a pause for a couple of seconds, before Josuke scooted back in his chair and got up from the table, intending to retreat to his room for a couple of hours.

“The same things you do, probably.”

.::.

“Ow! Gyro, what the hell was that for?!”

“Because, idiota, you need to confess already.” He hovers over Johnny like a judgmental parent.

Josuke had left the house to get some groceries, and in that time, the jockey called Gyro over. Not for advice specifically, but that's what it had eventually turned into. Sitting on the floor of Johnny’s room (where it was painfully easy to find porn magazines, Gyro won’t let that go as long as the two of them live).

“Like seriously, this is getting embarrassing to watch, just do it already.” The Italian pointed a finger at his friend. “Sooner or later you’re gonna do the thing where you get the girl drunk and then sleep with her regardless of feelings.”

“Ugh, I’m not like that anymore Gyro!” Johnny folds his arms with a pout his friend knows all too well at this point. “I’ve never committed to anyone before, so of course this is a little more awkward for me than it is for anyone else, you know this!” 

Indeed he did know. It was somehow one of the things they always ended up talking about.

“Listen, I know how this is gonna end. Its gonna end with you in this same room, bunched up in several blankets, listening to Fleetwood Mac on repeat with 3 pizza boxes to make yourself feel better.”

The American scoffs.

Gyro sits upright on his bed. “I’m right. Look, this gal means a lot to you, I know. I’ve seen it. You’ve never stared at someone with such a…not hateful look in your eye.” It was half a joke, half truth. “And I don't wanna see you sad, so you’re just gonna have to pull yourself up, grow some steel balls, and ask them out. For real. For both of our sakes at this point.”

Johnny rolls his eyes. “Wow, Gyro wants me to be with a girl? Pigs must be flying.”

“You are so not funny.” The Italian’s teeth flashes for a moment as he scowls.

“Alright, since you’re such a casanova, why don’t you tell me what to say to them?” At this rate, there was really no other choice for Joestar to take. He could ask Hot Pants, but knew she would give him similar advice.

“Nyo-ho! I’ll show ya! All you gotta do is gimme your phone.”

As soon as the word ‘gimme’ was uttered, the jockey clutched his phone as if it was a baby. The last few times he lended his friend his phone, it didn’t go so well.

Gyro would’ve snorted if he wasn’t serious about this.

“Come onnn! It--”

“Won’t go like the last three times, right? Fat chance.”

“Just hurry and hand it over before I tackle you!”

The larger man did that far too much already, much to Johnny’s dismay. Once Gyro had him in a headlock, there was no getting out of it. He defeatedly raised his phone up to the man for him to take.

“If you ruin anything, I’m doing the same thing to you, AND taking your damn horse.” The Italian waved him off as if he was merely an angry toddler. As he typed, Johnny tried to peer over and see, but his friend was too adamant on turning side to side so he couldn’t. The expressions Gyro was making wasn’t a good sign either. First confused, then mischievous, then looking a little too proud of himself. The jockey’s hands could start sweating at any moment from the sheer anxiety this was giving him.

“Aaaaaand done! There we go, all set!”

Johnny reached for his phone as soon as the words left his mouth, unapologetically in a snatching manner to immediately read the text sent.

::‘Hey This is Johnny darling. Hope your day has been as beautiful as your smile. I was wondering if you’re free tomorrow by 12pm. I have something very important to tell you. See you soon xoxo.’::

Alright, so it wasn’t as bad as he thought itd be (not nearly as bad as the time Gyro dared him to send a ‘send nudes’ text to you) but god, it would look suspiciously out of character for you to see. He can’t even remember the last time he typed ‘darling’ instead of ‘darlin’ and actually bothered to punctuate his texts. And who even used ‘xoxo’ anymore?

His friend looked at him with a big grin, waiting for his reaction. A slightly more pure smile than if he were waiting for Johnny to get a joke.

“Soooo what do you think? You gotta pick some nice clothes out for your date.”

The shorter man sighs.

“Its...passable.”

.::.

 Josuke got home a little later than he expected. He was surprised to see there was still Prince CDs in stock at the store. Thats one of the perks of coming to America, he guessed. He was more than ready to put them into one of Johnny’s old CD players he had found. It was already hard for him to listen to pretty much anything without thinking of you. At least if it was Prince specifically, it would help him feel better and he could jam out to it.

Finally finding the track he wanted, he grinned, letting the music play out loud and hopping on his bed. It was a good few minutes before he had started getting that feeling in his gut again.

..Crap, this wasn’t helping either.

The teen felt that he couldn’t endure this much longer. Love was something he took very seriously and to be so unsure about your relationship just made him feel funny. He had to at least know for sure if the both of you were on the same page. Josuke was sick of being so anxious about it.

Josuke laid down flat on his back, pulling his phone out.

“You know what? I’m gonna ask them out.”

[restingdomface]

Lan Wangji makes extremely deadpan videos of his daily life with Wei Wuxian and their kids and nephews (and nieces if JC and JYL had more). This would include:

*shows a video of LWJ staring out the window for a solid thirty seconds, face entirely unchanged and somewhat disappointed, turns camera around to show Wei Wuxian and the kiddos putting mentos in soda bottles and trying to chuck them at each other, camera pans back to his face, still entirely devoid of emotion*

That one time Jin Ling got stuck up a tree and Wei Wuxian tried to get him down and also got stuck up there and now the other kids are looking for a ladder while LWJ just watches them from the patio, drinking tea. The kids finally give up and shamefully come to LWJ and ask him for help, he gets his husband and nephew down without a word.

The one where he buried 5yo A-Yuan in a pile of bunnies and got scolded by Lan Xichen for it because they might bite him if they get annoyed with him.

There is an entire compilation of rabbits that won’t leave him alone. Climb into his lap. Follow him with every step. Get excited when he comes outside. Hear a guqin and start looking for him. Just. He’s the rabbit whisperer. One of the black ones is just about always with him.

Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian interacting in any capacity is going to involve a lot of hitting each other and pushing each other over. Only-child kids think they hate each other, but people with siblings are all ‘no no, siblings are just Like That’. People think Yanli is all innocent till they realize she def only tells them to stop when she thinks they might actually get on each other’s nerves. She’s in the ‘boys will rough house and probably only have one collective braincell’ category.

People won’t stop asking him if he speaks so he vaguely makes mentions of having extremely low verbility. They ask if he does sign and he’s not really sure how (lol cause words hard) to explain to them that sign doesn’t really help when the issue is more of him not having much to say tbh. This is apparently the wrong thing to say because then people start being all ‘yeah I get you, I’m pretty dumb too, at least you’re pretty’ and he’s just sorta sitting there with this smacked fish look on his face while WWX can’t stop laughing next to him at the very idea of someone calling his husband slow. Wow. LWJ just sorta finally gets out that he has like two degrees and teaches giqun lessons and it’s amazing. The kids find out about it and can’t stop laughing for hours.

“Hey, why did you name your son ‘sorrow and longing’?” *commense 10 minute video of that time Wei Wuxian got arrested for something to do with a satanic ritual and that’s when LWJ ended up with custody of his adopted son for the next three years and he was in a really angsty mood tbh so it just kinda happened* not a single commenter expected that, even less so when he mentions that they weren’t even together at that point

Films what the viewers think is a prank at first, where he pours a dangerous amount of chili powder into a mug of hot chocolate (with a completely straight face) and then brings it to WWX who takes a drink and makes a dreamy little sigh and goes ‘you always know how to make it just like I want it’ and no one is sure how to react to this video. It’s like watching someone peel and eat a lemon.

You know that video of the girl with the deadpan voice saying she went downstairs to take a shower and there was something brown in the bottom of the tub but it turned out to be potatoes and she’s all ‘not a problem I was expecting, but a problem I can handle’? Okay so that’s how he talks in every video. WWX hands him a baby and he talks to them exactly like that. People ask if he’s good with kids and WWX is all ‘yeah, he’s not just a rabbit whisperer, he’s a baby whisperer too, he’s super great with kids’ *shows LWJ talking to a baby in That Voice while the baby looks at him in utter adoration*

“What’s it like growing up gay? Do you ever get shit for it?” LWJ.exe has stopped working, he has only met one straight couple the same age as him and they’re his sister in law. His brother has three boyfriends, one of which is his brother-in-law. He doesn’t know what a het-er-o-sexual is and he doesn’t want to. Pretty sure his uncle is acearo and hasn’t seen his parents in like 20 years.

LWJ: ‘I apologize for being so emotional in my last video.’ *viewers scrambled to find what video he meant because they ain’t ever seen that man emotional before but end up finding a video where Sizhui told him he loved him and called him papa and gave him a hug while WWX filmed, you can barely see LWJ’s left eye twitching and he pets Sizhui’s head for a moment* viewers are very confused on how this constitutes emotionalism.

Viewers ask to see his brother ‘you know, the one who apparently has three boyfriends’ and LWJ posts a video of LXC passed out on a couch with like three fully grown men all in various states of sliding off onto the floor while the teens play a game of ‘who can stack the most random objects on uncle’s bodies without them waking’ because apparently LWJ and WWX were gone for a weekend and the uncles were supposed to watch the kids (like, all ten of them probably, there’s probably a lot of kids) and it’s Sizhui filming the whole thing cause he’s the ‘good one’ and never does bad things. But he’s also like Auntie Yanli and is totally gonna egg them on from the sidelines.

WWX hands LWJ literally any food and LWJ will eat it all with a completely straight face but as soon as WWX is turned around LWJ is chugging a glass of milk with a look of death on his face. The kiddos straight up can’t stomach his cooking.

😭 someone asks why their hair is all so long and LWJ puts up a video of chatty adorable Sizhui braiding WWX’s hair while he tells him about his day at school. It’s. Too. Cute.

The never ending debate on if LWJ’s deadpan personality/speech is acting or not. No matter how much everyone assures them he’s really just Like That people just aren’t convinced.

Someone points out several times that in their house they have a room with a satanic symbol on the door. That’s just WWX’s home office it’s all good. This is treated as ‘lol WWX is so dramatic’ for like four whole weeks before LWJ posts a video of Sizhui standing outside the office looking nervous. ‘What’s wrong?’ He says. ‘Dad called me into his office.’ Sizhui replies. ‘WWX must be a very strict father,’ the viewers think. That’s not it. That’s not it at all tbh. That video got flagged on like four different platforms and kept getting removed for graphic images and half their viewers don’t. Want. To know. What happened. In that office. (WWX doesn’t even see what the big deal was, that goat was dead when he bought it shut up.)

The others do videos sometimes too lol. Videos include

Jin Ling’s compilation of ‘Mom, what’s for dinner’ and the answer is Always Lotus root and pork rib soup. Someone asks ‘lol she must make that often’ and JL is all ‘lol often, fairly sure she got same-food syndrome, it’s always soup’.

Lan Sizhui at like 17 years old: The one true secret I’ve never told my dads? My most shameful lie? Rabbits aren’t my favorite. My favorite is butterflies. *proceeds to cuddle a bun* I’m sorry Mister Bun, but you just aren’t nearly as pretty as butterflies.

Shaky video of someone sitting on the couch, pointed at NMJ: Brother, while you’re away on vacation with your boyfriends, I don’t plan on leaving this spot for even a minute. NMJ: Oh yeah? What’ll you do when you have to use the bathroom? NHS: Listen, I found a guy on Craig’s List who’s exact fetish is lazy young men who refuse to move and also diapers exist and he’ll be my slave for the week if I let him change me. NMJ: ...I’m taking you with me on vacation. NHS: Yay! NMJ: I’m also taking your phone away. NHS: -wait, no- NMJ: Too late.

Jin Ling: JiuJiu, I spilt soda on your Valentino white belt. Jiang Cheng: *incomprehensible sputtering* -soda on my Valentino white belt-!

Sizhui: *brings Jingyi a bowl of food* Here. Jingyi: Thank you! *takes a bite, face falls in terror, gives Sizhui a betrayed look* Sizhui: Dad’s worried I’m getting sick, he said this would clear my chest cold up. He didn’t consider what horrible things it would do to my bowels instead. Please eat it, he gets sad when I don’t finish what he makes. Jingyi: *glaring* Just dump it down the garbage disposal! Sizhui: *def has a fever if he didn’t think of that* Oh. Good idea.

LWJ: *swaying in place* WWX: This bitch drunk as hell. LWJ: I’m. Gonna comit. A crime. WWX: *crying a little* I love drunk hubby times. A full shot of vodka and he’s not gonna remember any of this. Hey kids, I’m taking Papa on a walk! Sizhui’s in charge!

Zizhen: *sitting quietly on the couch while LSZ, LJY and JL all argue behind him somewhere, covering his mouth with a slightly horrified look* Jingyi: I mean, that’s not fair at all! Who HASNT made out with their cousin at one point or another? Ling: ... Sizhui: You said you’d never bring that up again please shut up. Ling: ...!!!!!! Zizhen: Amazing.

That one time the kiddos hypnotized Jin Ling into thinking he was a kitten. The adults all thought it was really weird that he was finally going through the whole ‘pretending to be an animal’ phase at like ten, but then the kiddos fessed up to learning how to hypnotize and they aren’t sure how to fix it. WWX instigated a rule that no brainwashing is allowed outside his office from now on.

People ask how WWX and LWJ met and it’s told from the POV of Lan Qiren who progressively getting drunker as he tells the story of the terrible high school romance that he had to watch between bad boy WWX and his precious baby angel nephew that made him consider quitting and how no one believed them when they insisted they didn’t get together till after WWX got out of jail for the cow incident.

[kraviolis]

lost in the in-between (or so it seems) - HLVRAI

Chapter: 1/5 Rating: Teen Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman, Gordon & The Science Team, Background Bubby/Coomer Words: 7k Additional Tags: Post-Canon, PTSD, Nightmares, Sleep Deprivation, Panic Attacks, Hurt/Comfort, Healing, Not A Game AU, Paranoia, Accidental Date Chaperoning, Zoo Day, Autistic Tommy Coolatta, Touch-Starved Gordon, Emotional Breakdowns, Romantic Relationships Are Not The Focus Content Warnings: Panic Attack, Drinking, Not Safe Decisions Summary:

(Sequel to “you gotta wonder what it meant”) It’s been a few weeks since their escape from Black Mesa, and Gordon is struggling with nightmares and intense panic without really understanding why. Everything feels like an uphill battle these days, and Gordon’s forgotten that asking for help is something he’s allowed to do and that his friends are ready and willing to provide it. 

AO3 LINK

____

“Gordon?”

Gordon jumps in his seat, jerking his head to look at whoever had said his name. He meets Dr. Coomer’s eyes, wide and uneasy. “Sorry, I just— what were we talking about?”

Gordon looks around the metal table, adjusting his head slightly to get the sun out of his eyes. Sunkist makes a soft whine from under the table, and everyone has paused in the middle of their meals. Bubby and Tommy are staring at him just like Dr. Coomer, all with varying expressions on their faces.

Bubby is frowning in annoyance at him. “Well, we were talking about how I’ve never been the zoo—“

“But then you started staring off into space and— and we got worried!” Tommy interrupts, clear concern on his face.

“Are you alright, Gordon?” Dr. Coomer asks him, his brows furrowed in worry.

“Yeah, I’m alright.” He assures them, a smile easily plastering on his face.

“Are you sure?” Bubby raises an eyebrow sharply in his direction.

“I’m sure.”

“Do you swear?” Tommy presses, putting down his fork that still had a bite of waffle on it.

“I—“ He frowns and blinks. “What’s with you guys? You usually take everything I say at face value.”

“You were staring at your omelette for a very long time, Gordon!” Dr. Coomer tells him. “It was rather worrying!”

“Guys, I’m fine. Honestly.” He sighs. “I might not be getting much sleep but that’s all—“

“Are you having nightmares, Mr. Freeman?” Tommy asks, pressing his knuckles to his mouth. “Nightmares about Bl-- Black Mesa?”

Gordon stops and looks at Tommy, tilting his head curiously. “Uh, yeah, actually. How did you know?”

“We’ve all been having nightmares.” Coomer tells Gordon, pressing his fingers together rather nervously. Tommy nods a confirmation.

“Not me.” Bubby states plainly.

“Oh,” Gordon blinks. “Why not?”

“Dr. Bubby was never built with the ability to dream!” Coomer informs him cheerfully.

“So, what, do you just do the thing where you wake up and it feels like no time’s passed at all?”

“Correct!” Dr. Coomer exclaims. “It’s the most efficient way to sleep!”

“Yeah, I guess it is. I’m a little jealous right now, honestly.” Gordon rubs at his facial hair with a small smile. “Though, it’s kinda sad to not have any dreams at all. They can be pretty fun sometimes.”

“Just rub it in, why don’t you?” Bubby crosses his arms and scowls.

“Don’t make fun of him for not being as privileged as you, Gordon! It’s bad form!”

“Ye— yeah, Mr. Freeman, that was kinda mean!”

“I was just—“ Gordon takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Bubby. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

“Oh, you didn’t, but I forgive you anyways.”

“Right.” Gordon deadpans, and stands up. “Look, I gotta get going, guys, I have to keep looking for job openings. Thanks for brunch.”

He doesn’t have to reach down to give Sunkist a pet, the dog had been laying nearly under the table at her master’s feet but had perked up when Gordon stood. He grabs his leather jacket from the back of his chair and picks up his sunglasses from next to his half eaten omelette and empty coffee mug. He pauses though, and looks up to see all of them continuing to watch him carefully.

“What?” He asks, frowning. He tries to make eye contact with them individually but they all look away before he can. “What?”

“Mr. Freeman…” Tommy trails off, looking more concerned by the second.

“Are you really, very sure that you’re alright?” Dr. Coomer looks up at him almost shyly.

“Yes. I told you guys— what is this? What’s going on? Are you okay?”

“We’re just worried, Gordon.” Bubby says, sinking into his seat more. “You’ve been pretty out of it, recently.”

“Wh— dude, I just said—“

“We know you said you are but— but this has been going on for a while, now and—“ Tommy looks away again while blinking rapidly— and suddenly Gordon’s rising frustration fades instantly. Sunkist looks up at Tommy and shifts slightly so that her face is leaning on her master’s lap, nosing at his fidgety hands.

“Hey— Hey, I’m alright, Tommy!” Gordon puts his hands up and waves them around in an awkward attempt to console him. “I’m fine, okay?”

Dr. Coomer gives him a somewhat skeptical look. “Gordon...“ He trails off but doesn’t look away.

“Look, I just— Yes, I’ve been having nightmares but I’m a grown man. I pay bills, I have a doctorate from MIT in Theoretical Physics. I can handle a few nightmares.” Gordon sighs heavily, trying to let go of the tenseness in his shoulders. He attempts to put on a reassuring smile for them. “It’s nice to know that you worry about me so much, but I’ll be okay, guys. Really.”

The three of them share a glance at each other, communicating silently. When they look back to him, Bubby is the one who gives him a short, sharp nod. “Alright, then.”

“If you say so, Gordon!” Dr. Coomer smiles back at him.

Gordon’s own grin relaxes into something a little more genuine. He looks to Tommy, who is still fidgeting in his seat and avoiding eye contact. He glances up, once, before it falls back onto Sunkist. He gives him a gentle pet on Sunkist’s giant head and scrunches his eyes up for just a second before finally looking up at Gordon again, an unusual mixture of sternness and worry in his expression.

“Do you promise that you’re really okay, Mr. Freeman?” Tommy asks him, his voice low and quiet, obviously forcing himself to hold eye contact.

Gordon deflates a little, that firm pressure on his chest returning ever so slightly. “Tommy…” He murmurs, taken aback by his seriousness. He inhales. “I promise.”

Tommy shakes his head and brings his hand up, his little finger carefully extended. “You— you gotta pinky promise! You can’t ever break a pinky promise!”

Gordon raises an eyebrow and looks to the other scientists at the table. Bubby shrugs.

“If you break a ‘Pinky Promise’, you’ll be hunted by the entire U.S. Military and shot down like a rabid dog!” Dr. Coomer confirms cheerfully.

“Didn’t we kill them all?” Bubby points out. Coomer pauses for a moment to process this.

“If you break a ‘Pinky Promise’, you’ll be completely safe from the nonexistent U.S. Military— but you will be thoroughly shamed by all of us for lying!”

Gordon snorts and chuckles under his breath. He hesitates for just a second but he eventually hooks his right-hand pinky with Tommy’s, who perks up immediately.

“I pinky promise that I’m okay.” He says, and Tommy’s pleased grin lights up his face. They bob their hands, shaking on it, and Gordon pulls away to start putting on his jacket. “Now that we have that sorted, I honestly do have to go.”

“See you later, Gordon!” Dr. Coomer waves at him.

“Yeah! Bye, Mr. Freeman!” Tommy cheers.

“Is he going to finish this?” Bubby points at Gordon’s leftover omelette.

“I’ll see you guys later!” Gordon waves over his shoulder and walks away. He hops on the back of his motorcycle (parked just down the street from their brunch spot), replaces his normal glasses with his prescription sunglasses, and takes off.

He gives one last wave as he passes by their table and drives away feeling heavier than he has in days.

Gordon knows he isn’t exactly doing perfect. The fact that he even looked them all in the eyes and lied about it makes it all the more difficult in his attempt to contain it.

The nightmares… they weren’t normal nightmares. Not the kind he knew how to deal with, anyways. His throat would be hoarse when he woke up, flashing images still pounding against his skull like fists against a cage. He tried to forget about them the next morning but he was just so tired all the time, it was getting harder and harder to keep himself on track. The actual content of them varied, he never knew what to expect, but it was always horrifying enough to make him restless for the entire day.

For the past 2 weeks he’s been plagued by this— this shit and everything he’s done in an attempt to fix it has done nothing. They didn’t even start to happen until three days after—

After.

Gordon bites back a frustrated groan and clenches his right hand harder on the handle of his motorcycle. God, it’s like he can’t go just thirty minutes without thinking about fucking Benrey and Black Mesa and the week he spent in hell. He just wants to be able to live in the present, to be able to stop and smell the fucking flowers just for once in his life--

But he can’t. He can’t because that heaviness he’s felt, that distant feeling of dread, hasn’t gone away.

Gordon is losing his mind— again— trying to figure out why. Why he feels sick to his stomach all the time, why he can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore.

Why he can’t get rid of that invisible pressure on his ribcage like something is pushing down on him, trying to hold him in place.

Why he can’t stop thinking about that night— seeing the tenderness in Benrey’s face melt into the closest thing the man had to fury.

(Benrey was like a brick wall to him at first, but now he’s practically an open book.)

(He really does not want to think about why that is.)

Gordon wants to move on and forget about Black Mesa, about Benrey, but every single time he finds himself alone and sitting in silence his thoughts always drift back.

He thinks about the grin Benrey gave him when he agreed to play video games with him. He thinks about the pure joy he saw on his face as he threw his head back and laughed so hard at Gordon’s baby raging. He thinks about how it took only minutes for him to check on him, the concern in his voice through the door, his carefulness, the way he tensed before melting into his touch, the way he was swaying when Gordon leaned closer—

Gordon thinks about the expression on Benrey’s face as he was calling him out on the damn mind fuckery he was throwing at him and he feels like he wants to throw up.

He remembers how he just stood there, after Benrey had slammed the door in his face like a child. He’d just… stood there. His hands shaking and his heart pounding and the fading adrenaline making him feel woozy. He had stood there and stared at the door as if he would come back, as if his giant head would phase right through to taunt him, as if he would see a skeleton in the corner of his eye.

He’d stood there for a long time.

Benrey didn’t come back.

So he’s here, just trying to forget about it. Forget about him. Write it all off as a PTSD nightmare and ignore the physical evidence that he was ever even there.

To Gordon, Benrey was dead.

(He wasn’t and you know it.)

Benrey was fucking with his head again.

(The look in his eyes— would he be able to fake that kind of hurt?)

Benrey left, he left, and he’s not coming back.

(Please, God, come back—)

Gordon shakes the thought from his head and grits his teeth. He doesn’t have time for this. He needs to be thinking about anything else but this. Everything’s gonna go to absolute shit if he doesn’t get his head on straight.

He— he can’t get caught up in all this shit. It happened and it’s done with and he needs to move on. He can’t change what happened but he refuses to let the past control him like this. Gordon fucking refuses.

He’s putting his foot down here and now. The past is in the past. Taking back control of his life is what he needs to focus on. Keeping up with his commitments and responsibilities. Not letting himself spiral. Forcing himself to forget it all. There’s no point in hanging onto this! None! He got out and he’s safe and his friends are safe and he’s back to living his life to the fullest.

Alright. What does he have to do?

He needs to do more job searching, maybe buff up his resume. Dr. Coomer had mentioned that they needed a new physics professor at the state university in the city— he could get in contact with them. He was a TA for a short time while getting his PhD.

Oh-- Joshua is visiting for the weekend, and it’s Thursday. He needs to clean the house and pick up juice and snacks for him.

He takes a deep breath as he stops at a light and exhales long and slow. Okay. One step at time, he’s gonna get back on stable footing and leave everything else behind him. He’s moving on and forgetting about all of it.

He’s ready to take it all on.

———

When Gordon gets home the next evening he shrugs off his suit jacket, drops his wallet and keys in the bowl near the door, loosens his tie, and faceplants into his sofa with a groan.

That job interview went so shit.

He’d zoned out seven times in 15 minutes, asking multiple times for the interviewers to repeat the question, and had literally fallen asleep while waiting. He’d had a nightmare the night before, and something in it was so visceral and terrifying that it’s been stuck in his head all day. Curling in his gut like a parasite and making him jumpy.

(He had been back in Black Mesa, in it. Alone. Utterly alone.)

(The worst ones are always the ones where he didn’t have anyone watching his back. No one to distract him from the real horror that was happening. The things that he did, too.)

(No one with him as he stares into giant, dark eyes and struggles to fight against something so much bigger than he could ever understand.)

Despite all his preparation— he’d laminated his resume and ironed his suit with a pot off the stove because his steamer had gotten jammed, goddamnit— they’d told him they would call him in a tone that actually said that they would not be calling him.

Gordon groans again and reaches up to tug the hair tie out of his hair, throwing it on the coffee table, letting his hair fall to his shoulders. This was the third damn interview that he’d fucked up this month. He was going to run out of options and start applying for jobs that he was far too overqualified for. Maybe he’d have to throw his MIT doctorate in the trash because that’s all it’s fucking good for, apparently!

“Graduated summa cum laude and this is what I get,” Gordon laments to the empty house. “Nightmares about alien dimensions and a non-recyclable radiation suit that’s just a glorified pile of paper weights.”

He sighs. That was a good joke. If only someone was here to laugh at it with him.

(Benrey would have laughed.)

Gordon doesn’t have the energy to even be upset that he’s come back around to Benrey. He just feels so, so tired. Everything seems so… small, compared to what he’s gone through.

Maybe he should rob a bank. Gordon huffs out a single laugh at the thought, but still tucks it away for a rainy day.

The laugh melts into a sigh. It’s been weeks. Weeks and weeks of this. Rejected applications, failed job interviews, ignored calls and giving out resumes like candy on Halloween. He sees Joshua on the weekends, has Skype calls and brunches with the Science Team and even Darnold, once— but everything else has been nothing but pain and frustration and more pain. Something’s gonna make him snap one of these days.

Gordon presses his palms into his ryes. He needs— he needs a fucking break. A break from job hunting, from resume editing, from being a dad, from any and all reminders of Black Mesa. Like a cruise, or a vacation to somewhere tropical, or just a night out.

Gordon sits up a little.

That’s… not a bad idea, actually.

He pulls himself up fully and feels something almost like excitement bubbling in his chest.

Oh, this is a great idea.

It takes some time for Gordon to get ready. He hasn’t done this in a long time— not since he graduated and moved out west for his fancy new lab job. It’s downright exhilarating to be going through the motions again, the small little routine he’d been so fond of ever since he was an undergrad.

Gordon goes through his closet, finding his favorite— and best— outfit he’s ever owned. He has to squeeze into it a little but it’s just as incredible as he remembers— all dark navy with gold accents and a small splash orange. He gels his hair back, puts the ponytail back in, trims his beard, and trades the glasses for contacts.

When he’s done he leans back in the mirror and gets a good look at himself. Shirt buttoned down just enough to be classy and attractive, the gold studs in his ears, and flashy watch. His eyes unhidden from his glasses and with just enough mascara to make his lashes pop without it being obvious.

Gordon smiles at his reflection and strikes a few poses, giggling like a maniac because of how incredibly giddy he was to doll himself up like this again. He realizes how much he missed it now, and makes a silent promise to do it more often.

“Damn, I look nice as fuck.” He laughs, pulling out his phone. “I have to send a pic to the—“

He pauses, though. Wasn’t this supposed to be his night off? No more reminders of the bad shit, and — even if they didn’t mean to be— Tommy, Bubby, and Dr. Coomer were all living, breathing reminders of the bad shit.

Gordon hesitates for a moment, frowning. He settles to take just a couple pictures of his outfit and send one to them tomorrow.

Tonight, he’s letting himself forget.

———

When Gordon steps into the club’s doors, he finds his smile turning into a wide grin.

The bass from inside the club can be felt from outside, each thump echoes in his teeth and rings in his ears. The music is loud and the lights are flashing bright, neon colors are everywhere and constantly moving.

Rainbows adorn nearly every wall, every Mardi Gras necklace, every drag queen, every bead bracelet. The smell of sweat and alcohol is so strong and makes his head swim (painfully) pleasantly, he already feels drunk on just the feeling of being one with the crowd.

Gordon expertly maneuvers right to the bar, ready to calm that already-building (terror) anxiety in his gut with something sweet and fruity. He carefully avoids touching someone completely covered in glitter and orders one of the more expensive cocktails.

The drink is perfectly sweet and fruity and warms his stomach in such a comforting way. He smacks his lips and grins and gives the bartender a generous tip before leaning against the bar.

He stands there long enough to finish a second drink and get started on a third. Just watching the crowd, feeling the music in his chest and letting himself float on the (terrifying) euphoric feeling of being (trapped) encased in a crowd of (potential enemies) people.

Gordon sighs happily.

(Gordon sighs timidly.)

“Hey.”

Gordon (snaps) turns his head to look at the person addressing him.

They’re tall— taller than Gordon by a good couple inches— with a face Gordon can’t come up with a descriptor for other than very, VERY handsome. Their voice is deep, baritone, and they’re wearing a simple but rather catching outfit.

Gordon smiles at them, the warmth in his stomach making him feel bold (tense). “Hey.”

“I haven’t seen you around before— you new in town?”

Gordon laughs (nervously) a little. “I live here, I just don’t get out much. My schedule usually doesn’t give me much free time.”

The stranger grins and pretends to sigh sadly. “That’s a real shame— you’ve got such a nice face, you should be able to show it off more.”

Gordon’s face warms at the flirting and he quickly takes another gulp to (drown) encourage the (anxious) pleased feeling pooling in his abdomen.

The two of them begin to go back and forth, the stranger flirting more and more and Gordon slowly unraveling and relaxing.

It’s so refreshing to just have a normal conversation like this, no having to answer 5 year questions or herding the other person around in some attempt to stay on topic. He can say something funny and get a laugh instead of blank stares and a cut off greeting. He can flutter his eyelashes and watch them do the same and see them pick up every single signal he’s giving them without any misunderstandings.

(He feels guilty just thinking this— all he’s doing is blaming the Science Team for things they can’t help and things that don’t even really bother him.)

His heart rate kicks up when the stranger leans in a little more and opens their mouth— just enough for Gordon to pick up their intentions. Gordon tells himself that it’s just attraction. He’s attracted to them, they’re attracted to him, it’s all so flattering (nauseating) and overwhelming to feel a mutual attraction like this after years.

(Except he knows what attraction feels like and it’s not this—)

(Except there’s no butterflies, no warm pools, no slow motion effect, no startled inhale when he touches them gently, no softness or tenderness in their expression as they don’t look at him all wide eyed and red-faced—)

(Except they’re too tall, too slim, too nice, too gentle, too normal—)

His face flushes in delight (shame) as he wets his lips with his tongue. They smile a little as they watch him do it and they move a little faster

(He looks into their dark brown eyes— so different from icy blue— and sees only hunger.)

Gordon leans forward just as they do, closing his eyes. The warmth is his stomach is heavy and anchoring.

(The warmth is gone. There’s nothing but dread left.)

Their lips crash into his and it’s so— unceremonious, so anticlimactic. It’s cold and robotic and it makes his stomach clip into the floor. They’re pressing a hand to his jaw and chills are going down his spine as he just methodically goes through the motions.

(Would it have been just like this, he wonders? Or would it have been better— nicer?)

(It would have been better solely because of the fact that it would have been him Gordon kissed.)

His jaw moves and his head tilts just enough and he moves his hand from their hip to their waist and he feels wrong.

(They taste like rum and coke and Gordon wishes it was blue raspberry.)

It’s over just as quickly as it started and Gordon shudders as they pull away. He gasps sharply and pants, blinking rapidly as he opens his eyes. His mind is foggy— Why is his mind so foggy? He needs— it’s just the alcohol, he just needs to drink more—

He withdraws from touching them entirely— putting a finger up when they begin to question— and shakily reaches for his drink before tipping the rest of it back. It burns now and he chokes on it, swallowing forcefully and wheezing. He leans heavily on the bar and swallows again, his mouth watering as his stomach lurches.

The room is spinning— round and round again and Gordon can feel his heart pounding against his ribcage, desperate and crying for more oxygen and he’s trying— he’s trying so hard but his lungs aren’t fucking working— he can’t breathe— he can’t see—

Something grabs him by the arm and forcibly drags him away from the bar. He stumbles, grasping onto whatever it is in a desperate attempt to stay standing when his knees begin to give out.

His head is throbbing so painfully and his vision is swimming and there’s a voice in his ear saying something but it's so far away, now—

The cold October air hits him like an explosion. Every single cell in his body flinches when he is pulled outside, but it feels like his mind clears up in a single instant. He gasps again and can’t repress the relieved sob that forces its way out of his throat as he’s gently sat down on the pavement.

Gordon tries to breathe in the fresh air but his lungs stutter and he sobs again and he’s crying— fuck, he’s crying—

“Come on, guy— just breathe, in and out.” The stranger tells him with a gentle hand on his back. “It’s okay. It’s fine. Just breathe.

He does what they say but God, this is so humiliating. He hates this, he hates that he’s fucking doing this in public, he hates his fucked up brain and his stupid lungs for— for not even doing what they’re supposed to.

Gordon presses his palms into his eyes and shudders out a breath before swallowing and trying again. He follows the stranger’s lead, trying to match his breaths to their own exaggerated ones.

Eventually— when he has a more solid grip on his breathing— he leans his head against the exposed brick against his back and keeps his eyes closed. The cold wind bites at his damp cheeks and goes right through his clothes.

“Hey, you back with me?” They say jokingly and Gordon grimaces.

“I’m sorry,” He blurts out. “God, I’m really sorry. About everything. I didn’t— I’m— I’m sorry, I should just— go.” He stands up slowly, leaning heavy against the brick, willing his legs to stop shaking.

“H— hey, man—“ They call after him, but he ignores them as he walks away. He can’t— he can’t stand being in their presence anymore. The shame burns his throat and his face— if he fucks up anymore tonight he’s not sure he could take it.

So he walks away. Down the alley and out onto the packed street, each of his steps is harder than the last. Gordon walks for a while just to get his legs to stop feeling like jelly and to sober himself up. He can barely think past the burning shame, so he tries not to.

When he finally flags down a cab, his fingers are numb as he settles in the back seat.

The car ride is silent and suffocating, the sound of pop music makes Gordon’s head throb. The driver doesn’t say anything outside of asking for his address but Gordon can feel their judging eyes pressing into him. He ignores them and watches out the window the whole time. He looks at his reflection and sees the black streaks running down his face and not-so-subtly rubs them away. The driver continues to keep silent.

When he gets home, he stumbles out of the cab after shoving a couple bills into the driver’s hand. They speed off and Gordon’s left standing on the sidewalk in front of his house.

He slowly walks inside, going through his ritual as if he was on autopilot. Keys, wallet, shoes, jacket. He makes his way into the bathroom and goes through his ritual there, too. Contacts, ponytail, shower.

Gordon turns the water on as hot as it’ll go. He doesn’t wait to step in once he’s got his clothes off, letting the icy water slowly warm as he just... goes through the motions. Body, hair, face.

Until he’s left standing under the steaming spray, burning into his skin. Not willing to get out just yet. And so he has no other choice but to think about it.

That— that was a stupid idea.

Gordon drops to the floor of his tub and brings his knees to his chest, ducking his head between them. The shower rains hot water onto him.

What the fuck was he thinking?

Gordon isn’t a young, dumb, childless college kid anymore. He— he can’t be doing shit like that! He can’t be going out just to kiss strangers before he even tells them his goddamn name— he can’t believe he let himself act so recklessly. Tonight could have gone so, so much worse if he hadn’t had that panic attack.

What even was the point of it all? It wasn’t just to have a break and he knows it— he knows his brain, Gordon knows that there was something else—

(Icy blue eyes and a startled expression and so soft, so soft—)

He wants to tear his fucking hair out.

Why? Why why why? Why him? Dear God, why does it have to be Gordon that has to deal with this— this shit. He’s a good person! He gives out his spare change, he compliments strangers, he puts things back on the correct shelf if he changes his mind— he doesn’t deserve to have his head continuously fucked with!

It’s such bullshit for Benrey to have left for good and for Gordon to still have to put up with his stupid mind tricks. He doesn’t want to think about him anymore— he doesn’t want to want him anymore! Every fucking time he closes his eyes Gordon sees his stupid fucking face.

And that’s the problem, isn’t it? It’s Gordon’s fault this keeps happening— his brain refuses to dream of anything else. It’s just nightmare after nightmare of Benrey, Benrey, Benrey. His own goddamn brain isn’t even on his side here.

He sighs and digs his fingers into his arms. Being angry doesn’t fix anything, though. He can be angry and upset all he wants but it won’t make anything better. He has to suck it up and do something about it. There’ll be time for anger later.

“C’mon, Gordon, think.” He urges himself on. What can he do? How does he fix himself? How does he stop the nightmares— how does he stop thinking about Benrey?

Gordon almost laughs when he realizes the easiest solution to this issue.

He just needs to stop sleeping.

No more nightmares, no more fear— in fact, it would give him more time to do the things he needs to! And, yeah, it wouldn’t— couldn’t last forever, but it’ll be okay for a little bit. Just enough time to find a more stable solution. He knows that from experience while studying for his doctorate at MIT.

Plus, it’s not like he necessarily needs to sleep every night like he did in Black Mesa— he has abundant access to the good ol’ combo of sweet, sweet caffeine and taurine.

He leaves the shower and gets dressed in casual daywear instead of something comfy— he can’t risk falling asleep, after all.

He makes a pot of coffee and gets himself a mug to enjoy at the lovely hour of eleven at night.

It has to have some sort of Pavlov effect on him, because the second he sits down at his computer with a cup of coffee and damp hair still resting on his shoulders his brain shifts into productivity mode. Gordon gets right into working on various cover letters, writing emails, sending voicemails and editing his resume as the time passes. He drains his cup and refills it a lot as he works, taking small 5 minute breaks to watch the coffee drip.

It’s not until he goes to make more coffee and finds an empty canister does he stop to look at the time. When he looks to his oven clock he frowns and double checks the clock on his desk. The same time. That— that can’t be right. If it really was that long— it’s only been 3 hours at most.

He quickly goes to his living room window and opens the curtains and is blinded by sunlight.

Gordon blinks. He— did he really just spend the entire night getting shit done? A laugh bubbles up and out of his chest.

“Holy shit,” Gordon grins. “This— this is fucking awesome.”

Practically bouncing on his feet, he grabs his keys and wallet to head to the closest convenience store. He pauses for a second and decides to grab the keys to his shitty station wagon— the one he bought off Craigslist when Joshua had been born.

Gordon greets everyone he sees with a wave and a smile when he goes into the small gas station store. He makes a b-line straight to the coffee and grabs a big container. Then, he catches sight of the energy drink section.

As he deliberates on which flavors to get, his phone rings. He jumps a little, startled by the sudden noise, but quickly fishes the phone from his pockets and answers without looking at the Caller ID

“Gordon Freeman.”

“Good morning, Mr. Freeman!” Tommy’s voice comes through clearly, and Gordon smiles at it.

“Hey, Tommy! What’s up, man?”

“Oh I’m just— just on my way over to Dr. Coomer’s and Dr. Bubby’s house!” He tells him. “I’m so excited for today! It’s gonna— It’s gonna be amazing!”

“Oh yeah?” Gordon hums as he grabs a couple blue-colored Mountain Dew Amped Game Fuel cans. “Why’s that?”

Tommy pauses on the other side of the line and Gordon frowns. “Tommy? You okay?”

The man laughs. “Oh! You— that’s a good one, Mr. Freeman! You— I almost— I thought you’d forgotten about taking us all to the zoo today!”

Gordon chokes on his own spit and proceeds to hack out a lung. “Nope!” He wheezes into his phone. “Nuh— hrg— no way! I’d— I’d never forget that!”

Gordon tucks the phone in between his shoulder and face begins to frantically grab snacks off the nearest shelf.

“Yeah! I would— it’s— I would hate for you to forget and miss out on all the fun we— that we’re gonna have!”

“Yeah,” Gordon squeaks. He grabs a cooler and starts throwing sodas into it. “We— we wouldn’t, uh, wouldn’t want that! Nope!”

“...Are you feeling alright, Mr. Freeman?” Tommy asks. “You sound strained!”

“I’m fine,” He hisses through his teeth as he drags the cooler to the front and throws his card on the counter before running back to grab a bag of ice. “I’m— I’m just— exercising! Gotta— gotta keep up my daily routine!”

“Wow, I didn’t know you have an exercise routine!”

“Yep!” He huffs out, dropping the bag on the counter and leaning against it as the clerk scans all the soda and snacks. “Gotta stay fit! You know how it is— anyways, what um— sorry, what time did I say I was picking you guys up?”

“In fifteen minutes!” Tommy tells him, and Gordon’s smile becomes manic as the clerk continues to slowly scan each soda. “Oh— Hi, Dr. Coomer! Hi, Dr. Bubby!”

Gordon hears Bubby and Coomer greet Tommy as he supposedly arrives at their home. “Listen, I’ll see you in a few minutes, okay Tommy?” He says as he struggles with inputting his pin number.

“Ok, Mr. Freeman!” Tommy says. “See you soon!”

Gordon hangs up and shoves his phone into his pocket. He thanks the clerk and lugs everything out to his car, thanking the universe for granting him this one pass of him taking the car to the store instead of his motorcycle. He gets the cooler situated in the back— now full of ice, soda, and snacks for the team— and hightails it towards Bubby and Coomer’s home.

It takes only ten minutes to arrive when it normally would take twenty.

Gordon does not know how this happened. He will not talk about how this happened.

He pulls up to the pair’s home and sighs heavily, sinking low into his seat as he watches Tommy, Bubby, and Coomer all meander up to the car.

“Hello, Gordon!” Dr. Coomer greets him, taking the passenger seat.

“Hey, Dr. Coomer,” Gordon greets him, exhaustion creeping into his voice.

“Hi, Mr. Freeman!” Tommy smiles as he climbs into the back.

“You got here early, Gordon.” Bubby says.

“Yep,” He replies, popping the ‘p’. “I brought some snacks, by the way, so that we don’t have to buy mediocre and overpriced bullshit—“

“Is there soda?” Dr. Coomer lights up, looking to Gordon as Tommy and Bubby begin to root around in the back for the cooler.

“Yeah, I got—“ He hears the dual crack of soda cans and sees Dr. Coomer’s head snap to look at Bubby and Tommy so fast that Gordon wonders if he broke his fucking neck for a second.

“My dear Bubby!” Coomer gasps, scandalized. “Are you drinking a Soda without offering me one?”

“N— No! I was just— opening one for you!” Bubby insists and shoves the open Pepsi at Coomer. “Here!”

Coomer doesn’t hesitate before guzzling the entire thing and crushing the can in his hand like a grape. “Oh, Professor, you’re always so thoughtful!”

Gordon doesn’t miss the quiet, dejected grumble of “It’s doctor,” from the backseat, followed by a third can being opened in penitence.

Gordon can already feel that they might not all make it out alive from this trip. He sighs and pulls onto the street.

Half way into the car ride— while Bubby is trying to convince Gordon why he should have the aux cord— Tommy makes a curious noise and holds up an energy drink.

“Mr. Freeman, is this yours?” Tommy asks, meeting his eyes in the rearview mirror.

“Oh— yeah, can you hand it to me?” He reaches back with his right hand and the can is deposited into it. “Thanks.” He purposely ignores the worried looks from Tommy and Coomer and sets it in the console cup holder.

At the next light, Gordon cracks it open and chugs half of it. He’s never preferred energy drinks but sometimes you need the most caffeine you can get— and this one has double the caffeine content over a cup of coffee.

“Gordon?” Coomer asks quietly from the passenger seat as he wipes his mouth with the back of his left hand.

“What’s up?” He replies, trying to keep his eyes both on the road and on Coomer.

“How did you sleep last night?”

Gordon hunches his shoulders slightly. “Fine. I slept fine.”

“Really?” Tommy presses, skepticism obvious in his tone.

“Yes, really.” Gordon rolls his eyes. “Look, guys, I know I mentioned the nightmares a few weeks ago but I’m fine. Seriously. You don’t need to check on me over every single thing.”

“I— We know, Gordon—“

“I know you’re just worried, I get it, but please no more pushing this? If I wasn’t okay, I’d— I...” He trails off. He can’t find it in himself to keep the lie going. He sighs again. “Just— stop nagging me. I know I’m the youngest but don’t— don’t treat me like I can’t take care of myself.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Fr— Gordon.” Tommy says first, wringing his hands. “I— I shouldn’t have tried to push it.”

“You’re as right as ever, Gordon.” Dr. Coomer says. “I’m very sorry.”

“I didn’t say shit, I don’t have to apologize.” Bubby leans back with a bag of sour patch kids and a soda. “You’re a grown man, Gordon, you can fill your body with as much garbage as you want.” He punctuates this with a sip from a regular Mountain Dew.

Gordon smiles in relief. “Thanks guys.” He tells them genuinely, his shoulders relaxing.

The rest of the ride is pleasant. Bubby continues to vie for the aux cord but Tommy’s reign continues with begrudging acceptance when he plays some kind of peppy, anime-sounding song that makes all three of them cheer.

Gordon grins at their antics. His chest buzzes with something light and happy the whole time and he doesn’t notice he’s bobbing to the beat until Bubby shoots him a smirk when he glances into the mirror, but he doesn’t seem to want to stop.

They arrive at the zoo and get a good parking spot. It’s way early and a weekday to boot, so it’s not packed at all.

Tommy makes sure that everyone has sunscreen applied and they all pass the bottle around until they’re all up to code in his eyes. Coomer recites the Wikipedia article on sunscreen as they do and then offers to carry the cooler until Gordon shows off it’s wheels and extending handle.

Gordon pulls out a brochure from the center console of the car and begins to go through his plan for the day but is cut off by Bubby saying “Can we just go? I want to see the fucked up birds they have!”

“Now, Dr. Bubby,” Coomer approaches the man and begins to fiddle with his clothes. He dusts off Bubby’s shoulders and adjusts his leather jacket’s collar. “I know you’re excited for your very first zoo trip, but we have to make sure we have enough time to see every exhibit! I’m sure Gordon has thought it all through very thoroughly.”

Bubby blinks and looks down and away from Dr. Coomer, his shoulders going up to almost his ears. “I know,” He says, almost submissively, his face pink, before his expression morphs into a sneer— directed towards Gordon. “I just think my own plan would be better, but if Gordon wants to play the leader again that’s fine. Just don’t fuck it all up.”

Gordon lets the barbed comments slide as he tries to process what the fuck he just witnessed. Was— did Bubby— Gordon’s not even sure he saw that interaction correctly or if the Mountain Dew Amped Game Fuel is fucking up his head even further.

He takes one glance at the half-empty can, chugs the rest of it, and decides to completely ignore all of that for now.

“Alright, team,” Gordon calls out, replacing his normal glasses for his sunglasses. “Let’s rock ‘n roll.”

[justdyingslowly]

1. Name justdyingslowly obviously come on

2. Nationality Australian

3. Age 22

4. Birthday nnnah dont feel like it

5. Zodiac sign (or your primal zodiac sign) Libra/Scorpio cusp

6. Gender wamon

7. Sexuality very very hetero

8. Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself) androgenous

9. What do you/did you study? Psychology (focus on sexology) and art.

10. What’s your current job like?/What job would you like to have? I am disabled you think I can work ha sexologist would be awesome. When I was a kid I wanted to be a fireman but Australias always burning

-

11. Your birth order head first

12. How many siblings do you have? 1

13. Do you have good relations with your family? yeah dads finally out of his abusive relationship, nearing age 70 and his emotions and his sexuality are finally opening up for the first time and that makes me SO happy.

14. How many friends do you have? what kind of fucked up question is this.

15. Your relationship status relationshipped. Fiance? got the marriage papers in a drawer somewhere with the car rego but can’t be fucked filling them?

16. What do you look for in a SO? empathetic, mature, calm. Always open to discussion. Prefers to be blunt rather than secretive. Emotional age over 14 (incredibly fucking rare apparently). Puts an importance on context and understanding other views above all else.

17. Do you have a crush? Hellll yeah Crush on my partner and got a crush on a mutual friend of ours who don’t even know hes cute af hehe one day partners gonna accidentally spill the beans and embarrass me coz hes shit with secrets RIP me.

18. When did you have your first kiss? You think I can remember this bullshit? Its not that big a deal

19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands? One night stand sex almost exclusively sucks. Just. SUCKS. Because neither of you know what the other likes and it ends up being an awkward mix of trying to please yourself while trying to also be considerate.

20. What are your deal breakers? Plugging your ears to anything that feels gross, uncomfortable or disagrees with you. How can you grow as a person without introspection? How can you mold what you think and believe without taking in other arguments and comparing them to your beliefs to see how they stack up? Its pathetic.

-

21. How was your day? cute mutual friend had a fall this morning and were both worried about him. His back is bad and he’s getting a little older, he can’t be getting dizzy and having falls like that. other than that im anxious about seeing my gastro. He’s lovely but... specialists are specialists. Good at knowing what they know but not always great at listening.

22. Favourite food & drink you think im allowed to eat or drink? water and... foods a touchy subject.

23. What position do you sleep in? Usually on my side with a body pillow to grip so I don’t end up choking my partner in his sleep.

24. What was your last dream about? uuhhh...going to italy and being unable to get into this tiny basket boat properly.

25. Your fears does PTSD to medical shit count haha

26. Your dreams ... going to italy and being unable to get into a tiny basket boat thingy?

27. Your goals - get some sort of diagnosis eventually. Its been 3 years of trying and im tired. - get back to studying art part time for my bachelors. - pass JLPT N3. - go back to university for psychology. - do the dishes when I get home.

28. Any pets? two budgies. we also take care of any orphaned or injured birds.

29. What are your hobbies? feeling nauseous drawing writing a little bit im making a little gameboy game in C atm too

30. Any cool places in your area? i live next to a national park with waterfalls and koalas and emus and stuff

31. What was your last awkward situation? mutual friend made a comment on his chest i playfully smacked it (related to the comment) it was surprisingly hard “O-oh wow, thats... I didnt expect that” my partner laughed at me. it was awful.

32. What is your last regret? getting embarrassed at friends pecs stop making me think about it 33. Language/s you can speak english. N4 Japanese.

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.) of course not what the fuck

35. Have any quirks? Quirkless. I do wiggle when im happy though apparently.

36. Your pet peeves open doors.

37. Ideal vacation spend a months chilling in an old japanese house in autumn hokkaido oooooof that sounds nice

38. Any scars? internal? yes

39. What does your last text message say? peepee poopoo ustinky

40. Last 5 things from your search history how do i find this

41. What’s your [device] background? Sam Porter Bridges walkin around Sam Porter Bridges cuddling BB-28 Louise while he sleeps my chicken

42. What do you daydream about? all might

43. Describe your dream home an old japanese house in autumn hokkaido oooooof that sounds nice

44. What’s your religion/Your thought about religion its a comforting thought having a parent-figure who cares about you and looks after all the big things you can’t manage yourself, but institutionalizing it runs a severe risk of becoming harmful cults. And it often does.

45. Your personality type me

46. The most dangerous thing you’ve done i saw the lost bunny that was on all the posters in the neighbourhood looked thin and patchy so i grabbed him to take him home. im allergic. sent me to hospital and I almost died.

47. Are you happy with your current life? feeling sick sucks and partners having a depressive episode but things are pretty good

48. Some things you’ve tried in your life living

-

49. What does your wardrobe consist of? blacks, reds, whites and pinks

50. Favourite colour to wear? at the moment pink. Red is always comforting though.

51. How would you describe your style? mix between lazy alternative punk, teenager with band shirts and harajuku peach kawaii uwu

52. Are you happy with your current looks? kinda wish i was a bit shorter but what can you do

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be? bit shorter

54. Any tattoos or piercings? lol no PTSD

55. Do you get complimented often? by who? partner constantly, family haha are you kidding im australian so a friend’s version of showing affection is calling you a cunt and slapping your ass in public

56. Favourite aesthetic? all might

57. A popular trend that you dislike blocking because you disagree or find them distasteful. Ignoring all context to opposing thoughts and arguments. taking a personal feeling of disgust to mean something is evil. Blocking your ears to anything that isn’t a circlejerk of what you already think - and trying to isolate anyone who even just listens to something other then the noise of your sloppy dicks to have a thought of their own.

-

58. Songs you’re currently obsessed with? The Machine by Low Roar

59. Song you normally wouldn’t admit you like. why wouldnt i admit i like a song

60. Favourite genre? probably enka haha

61. Favourite artist/band/genre? probably enka haha oh and tatsuro yamashita

62. Hated popular songs/artists? why the hell would I hate something like a song? I hate aspects of the music industry as a whole I guess?

63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5 which playlist they aren’t all together in one place

64. Can you sing or play any instruments? piano, saxophone... uh... partners good at making music and playing shakuhachi

65. Do you like karaoke? no.

66. Own any albums? yes? many?

67. Do you listen to radio? What stations? no. but triple J, ABC Jazz and Classical. sometimes they even play final fantasy and JRPG music on classical which is pretty neat. -

68. Favourite movie/series? can i make this about games because then the answer is Metal Gear Solid

69. Favourite genre of movies/books/etc ...shounen?

70. Your fictional crush/es if they’re over 40yrs old, male and happy and bubbily or grumpy and sad then there’s a big ol fat chance I wanna bone. Solid Snake from MGS4, All Might and pretty much anyone drawn by Tarou Madoromi.

71. Which fictional character is you? uh

72. Are you a shipper? List your otps, if so what does this even mean what language is this

73. Favourite greek god? idk hades seems chill

74. A legend from where you live that you like the story of Tjilbruke is funny and good. all Kaurna stories are good.

75. Do you like art? What’s your favourite work or artist? im in a big egon schiele mood atm.

76. Can you share your other social media? no i am incapable

77. Favourite youtubers? many

78. Favourite platform? not too high up. actually i like being a little lower than ground level in corners.

79. How much time do you spend on the internet? too much

80. What video games have you played? Which one’s your favourite? look i just want to say that MGS4 is the best one in the series and Death Stranding is phenomenally engaging.

81. Your favourite books (manga also counts) these are all so goddamn definitive how can I pick? Oh wait the answer is One Piece

82. Do you play board/card games? I play DnD atm and know 15 yr old rules to Yugioh

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema? that shit dosn’t happen here

84. Favourite holiday golden week coz its a week also easter because thats when all the glucose based sweets come back

85. Are you into dramas? what kind

-

86. Would you use death note, if you had one? no. thats called being a murderer.

87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to? chill people out a bit. when people feel unsafe they get really depenfive and territorial and block their ears to everything, making in-and-out groups for themsevles that end up putting them in more harm.

88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse? im disabled with a disabled partner. we arent funny sure we can survive normal everyday life when society is angled so sharply against us.

89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be? id like to be a mimi spirit

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death? spooky time

91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick? toshinori yagi

92. Who would you switch your life with for a week? anyone healthy

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo that cursed one with the intense eyes and the hand

94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true im me im not me im pee

-

95. Cold or hot? cold.

96. Be a hero or be a villain? both are distasteful ideas in reality

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme? i can’t do either partner speak sin bad puns and its hell, these both sound about equal

98. Shapeshifting or controlling time? shapeshifting. controlling time is eithe rmanipulative or lonely. shapeshifing is every other superpower at once.

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death? both are deeply upsetting ideas

100. ….. or …..? jiji or ossan? generally Jiji, but ossans can be lovely too.

[imaginesforthosewhoseekthem]

How about one for Sally face gang where their s/o is a sleep walker maybe with funny dreams like trying to leave to find the ice cream truck or something more serious like wandering around the apartment complex dreaming about what happened to the ghosts there and reliving events like what happened to Megan?

**POSSIBLE SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 5 OR THE ENTIRE THING IF YOU HAVEN’T PLAYED THE GAME**

((I’m gonna go with the second one because when does ANYONE in Sally Face get to be happy?! :’) You broke us with every chapter, Steve. I’m gonna write out the dream you’re having and then what your lover does if that’s okay. Also goin with Sal, Larry, Ashley and Travis again if everyone’s good with that. Travis and Ashley don’t LIVE in Addison apartments, so let’s just say they’re sleeping over.))

Also, annon, sorry this took a few days, I have been PRETTY sick.))

The Dream:

It was just a quiet night. Nothing too bad. Your partner was cuddled up beside you as you both slept. As you lay sleeping...you heard a voice call to you. Megan..? You waited for your lover to roll over in the bed so that you could get up and follow the sound of it. Even if you weren’t fully awake, you walked the halls as if you were . You had memorized how they turned. You found yourself making your way all the way up to the fourth floor where Megan was in the bathroom. You heard her speak to you.

“Mommy says you all need to hurry! Time is running out! I’m scared (Y/)N)! What does that mean..?! I wish you guys could see me again! i’m still here, I promise. I dunno if I can pass on okay knowing you guys might be in danger..!”

The roaring...the Red Eyes was roaring.

“(Y/N)? (Y/N?!” Megan called out to you.

You gasped awake once you felt a hand on your shoulder and almost smacked them. It was your love. They had followed you. You were SO shocked. you didn’t even know how you GOT up there.

“You okay?! I thought you were getting up to go to the bathroom, but you walked right out of the apartment! Come on, let’s go back to bed.” they said, wrapping an arm around your waist.

Sally Face:

Sal got you a glass of milk or some water after the whole ordeal and sat with you on his bed, patting your back.

“You okay, babe? I’ve never seen you sleepwalk before.” he said...he put the pieces together pretty quick given what HE’S seen. “Was it...Something supernatural?” he asked.

You nodded, your hands shook a little as you tried to drink what he gave you.

“Are you okay to tell me about it or do you wanna just go back to bed?” he asked you, hugging you with one arm. He let Gizmo onto your lap so you can pet the kitty for comfort.

If you decide to tell him, he makes sure to take it all down in his notebook to see what they mean and to see if the ghosts are trying to warn them of something. He may consider asking you to try and sleep if that’s how they can communicate and you will sometimes pick up on that. It doesn’t happen as often as you guys would like it to, but the few times it does, it’s helpful.

If not, he’ll 100% understand if it was too much for you to handle and he’ll drop it completely no matter how curious he is. He’s been in that situation where he was asked what happened to his face.

Regardless, he’ll hold you and kiss your head and try his best to calm you down. He’ll even try to sing you something his Mom would sing to him when he was younger when he was sad to try cheer you up. He lets you sleep against him and probably spends most of the night watching over you.

Larry:

He kinda wants to ask his Mom to see if you’re okay, but doesn’t wake her like a good son, so he kinda just sits you on the couch for a moment to calm you down. He grabs some snacks for you two and brings them and you of course back to his room just in case you guys wake his Mom.

You both eat some food and listen to his radio a bit (Low volume of course) to make you feel better until you calm down fully.

“How you feelin, babe?” he asks. He tries to make light of it by joking a little. “You know, I’ve always heard of people sleepwalking, but I didn’t think I’d ever see it for real. Let alone that person bein my girlfriend/boyfriend/(Nickname).” he chuckles a bit. Even if you smiled or laughed a little, he’d feel a little bad and softly holds you on his lap to keep you as close as possible.“Listen...you don’t gotta tell me anythin if you don’t want to. Just know that I wanna take the very best care of ya, alright? I love you so much and I’ll kick even a GHOST’S ass if they wanna mess with you in your sleep?”

If you decide to tell him you pose the question “Even Megan when she wants to warn us..?” and that leads you to tell him everything. He takes all this in and nods. He strokes your cheek and kisses your head.

“Okay...here’s what’s gonna happen. I’ll tell Sal about this and we can do some investigating round the apartments for any other signs. You can join us if you want, I won’t force you to stay or come. I just hope next time Meg aims that at someone that ain’t you. I know she meant well, but it seriously freaked you out just now.” 

If you decides not to, you kiss him softly and say “Thanks, Lar-bear~” playfully. He laughs softly “Hey, you hear my Mom call me that ONE time and you take every chance to teas me with it!” He’d tickle you if you laughing wasn’t at risk of waking his Mom. 

He kinda lays on you and tries to wrap his arms and legs around you to protect you in his sleep.

Ashley:

She probably hugs you the most out of all of them. She brings you back to bed and wraps you both in blankets. Since she was staying the night, she looked through her bag to see what activities she brought along. She told you to just doodle something or even play a game of Hangman for a bit. She also shows you some of her Polaroids she took. If all else fails, she breaks out the Gearboy. Sally inspired her to get one herself, so you two took turns playing a game on it til you calmed down.

“You okay? I’m sorry I didn’t wake you sooner. I honestly...wanted to see where you would go. That’s really crappy of me isn’t it? I’m SO sorry! I guess I just...wanted to make sure you weren’t doing anything dangerous.” she said.

You re-assure her, stating you would have done the same thing (Whether it’s true or not). 

If you decide to tell Ashley, she’ll pet your head as you tell her. Same with Larry, she invites you to join in only if you want to, promising she’ll tell Sal and the others in case something is up.She doesn’t get to planning on it right away like Sal and Larry would. Her focus is just on making you feel better.

If not, she gets it and is pretty quick to move on. Your well being is her priority.

She holds you close and kisses your head, playing with your hair and just showering you in affection until you fall back asleep.

Ash keeps pretty close to you afterwards, asking to sleep at your place more often and if she can’t, she texts you before you sleep and in the morning before school. She just wants to make sure her baby is looked after.

Travis:

Kinda like Ashley, he followed you before he woke you up. He was worried when you just GOT out of bed and walked. He was kind of jealous you lived in the same building as Sal and Larry and wanted to make sure you weren’t popping in to see them.

He was relieved to see you weren’t, but even MORE concerned, you went to the floor that was meant to be condemned. Once he snapped you out of it, he brought you to your flat again and just kinda sat with you on the couch. 

He made you some iced tea (Cus why not?) and sat beside you.

“Hey, hey...You alright?” he asked, calming you down a bit be stroking your hair and back softly. He was kinda awkward. He wasn’t sure if this WAS something paranormal, considering his Dad lead The Devourers of God, he was kinda worried what caused it might have been because you knew him. But if it was regular sleep walking, it concerned him even more

If you decide to tell him, his heart sinks a bit, but he tries convincing you it was just a bad dream, mostly because he hopes it’ll in some way protect you from his father’s cult. You probably tell Sally Face without him because Megan DID mention him, so it’s only fair.

If you don’t tell him...he’s PROBABLY going to bother you about it until you do, but that’s just because he’s really worried about you, is all.

He wraps you in blankets and holds you on his lap like Larry. He gets pretty clingy of you after that dream. You’re never really sure why, but he sneaks away from home sometimes to check on you. His Dad isn’t happy about it, but to him it’s worth it.

[imacrowcawcaw]

@oblvions @shes-outta-sight @lazingonsunday @karrotkate @satans-helper thank you all for the tags 💗💕

A buttload of info about me:

Last thing I read: "Lovers" by @satans-helper 😍😍😍

Favorite Book: The Merry Adventures of Robin Hood by Howard Pyle

Favorite Movie: Beetlegeuse

Dream Date: Imagine this: a nice, plush couch, covered in down pillows and fluffy blankets. There is a fire in the brick fireplace, the wood smoke combines with the scent of Nag Champa incense and the homemade treats that cover the low table next to the couch. There are brownies, bread rolls, cheeses, bowls of fruit, dipping sauces, cakes, sandwiches - a whole feast of my favorite foods. My partner and I would cuddle up on that couch, listening to my favorite symphonies on the record player in the corner and talking for hours. This isn't really a first date thing, more like an established relationshil date, but god I'd love to just spend an afternoon surrounded with my favorite things and my favorite person.

Do I have a crush?: Not really. There are people I find very very attractive (a friend, Sam Kiszka, Duff Mckagan in his 20s, Lucy Lui) but nobody that I'm actually romantically and sexually into.

Hobbies: Swimming, observing nature, browsing Pinterest, daydreaming, writing, reading, making art, singing, listening to music, love to cook

My favorite time of day: late afternoon, right before the sun sets. I'm usually free to do what I like, the temperature starts to drop, I can watch the sun... it's nice

If I could choose what I looked like, anything, what would it be?: I want tattoos, and more piercings, I'd love to change my hair color again - it's been natural for awhile but I think I want either burgundy or bright blue. WINGS! I kind of want giant, strong fairy wings, and maybe glowing eyes, a forked tongue, and tattoos that move and change (kinda like Maui lol)

Am I romantic?: Yeah, I'd say I am. I love to treat people, friends and significant others, but I'd be especially affectionate and romantic for a partner. I'm constantly buying gifts and things that remind me of them, cooking for them, planning dates and buying tickets for things I know they like, quietly taking care of stuff I know they need to do, cuddling, complimenting... I love to shower my partner in affection 24/7

My favorite kind of weather: Late Autumn, generally. About 55ºF, cloudy but not raining, windy

What do I like to talk about?: Lol I talk a whole lot and I've probably talked about everything at some point. One of my close friends and I particularly love to debate religion, mythology, magic, history, and the intersections of those. We also regularly plan heists and crimes lmao

My turn-ons: Long eyelashes, pouty lips, dirty hands (motor oil, paint, flour, etc), sarcasm, seeing someone get excited about something, compassion, casual physical affection

My turn-offs: Nastiness without a reason, knees (I just think knees look weird idk), Trump supporters, 100% pessimism (I understand being depressed or doubtful or being generally a pessimist, but if you adamantly refuse to see anything in a good light and try to ruin it for others f u c k y o u)

If I got a tattoo, what would it be and where?: ohhh I want tattoos so bad but I'm saving up and I'm not certain about some yet.... but I know that I'm getting a tree of life matching with my mom, I want mushrooms, pine trees, lavender, wildflowers (all for personal reasons). I'd also like to make maybe a charm bracelet of sorts with little charms for my favorite bands, books, movies, and other peices of media. I know that interests change and I might not like something in 30 years, but I see my life in periods of interests and I want to catalogue the things that shaped me

My pets: I have 3 cats - Pumpkin Pie, Lady, and Sweetheart

My dream job: I just want to live a free life doing what I want. I want to grow my own food for the most part, and raise animals, and paint, and write, and play music, and go on random adventures, go antiquing, decorate my home from my travels, learn without expectations - I don't want to exchange a fulfilling life for financial security from some mundane modern job.

My dream place to live: Secluded, in the forests of Oregon (or maybe Pennsylvania idk) on the bottom third of a mountain, on my own little farm

My dream vacation: I just wanna go explore historical landmarks and buildings

My dream house: A beautiful historical house -- like an 1870s American farmhouse, or a craftsman cottage, or a Victorian painted Lady, or maybe a New York brownstone -- filled with antiques and records and books and artifacts that I've collected. I LOVE antiques so much, everything would be of fine craftsmanship, it would be lavish and inviting and packed with interesting items at every turn (I want my house to be a curios shop lol) I also want a big ass kitchen and nice woodwork, I literally get horny over original built ins

My piercings: Sadly, I only have my standard ear piercings right now, but I think I'll get more soon. A nose ring, eye brow bar (yes I know that's so 2000s but I like them), probably 4 more on each ear, navel, nipples

If I had kids, what would I name them?: I love older, interesting names, so - Euphemia, Hartford, Monroe, Malory, Louise (me lol), August, Fredrick

My worst traits: I'm incredibly stubborn; I love talking to people but I'm awkward; lazy and don't care; I'm a bit of a collector/hoarder; I bottle up any anger or sadness I feel so I don't inconvenience others

My best traits: I love to give and help; I try to make people comfortable around me/in my home; I have excellent taste; I appreciate quality, culture, and creativity; I have many interesting interests that I'm eager to share and learn more about; I'm very creative

My worst fear: a painful death - I'm not afraid of dying, even though I'd rather not, I just don't want it to hurt

What do I want to eat right now?: Well, considering that I just ate my first bit of solid food in 3 days and immediately had to run to the bathroom... nothing

My favorite vacation memory: *blushes* my first kiss AND nearly my first time (we went like halfway): making out with this dude, son of my mom's friend, at my family cabin

My favorite city: I really don't know. Timber, OR, let's say

My favorite social media platform: Tumblr or Pinterest (does that count?)

My favorite article of clothing: My leather motorcycle jacket. I can't actually ride a motorcycle (trying to remedy that because *sexy*) but I got it a few years ago and it makes me feel so fucking badass. It's heavy, about 15 pounds of good quality leather, has lots of secret pockets in the lining and some cool looking zippers and studs, but nothing crazy. It's hella warm and comfy, I wear it everyday it's cold enough to

Do I play any sports?: pfft no. I like to swim, and I'm interested in baseball and tennis, but I suck at them and also I just don't like team sports

My favorite meal: What I order when I go to Buffalo Bills - a pesto/feta/mozzarella/Italian sausage/basil/tomato/garlic pizza, with homemade potato chips and chunky blue cheese dressing for dipping. If I had room, I'd finish with Marionberry cheesecake pie from Sherri's (but I am incredibly sick and have no faith in getting better enough so I feel like I'll never be able to eat like this again)

What am I excited for?: The winter holidays! I'm atheist, so Christmas is all about the personal stuff and non religious family traditions for me. I love the decorations, the music, seeing my family, baking, giving and receiving presents, it's all just so fun

What am I not excited for?: Cleaning my room, it really really needs it though. Also just continuing to live like this. I'm not suicidal, I'm just in a lot of pain constantly and I don't know what to do

When was the last time I cried?: an hour or so ago, I'm in loads of pain right now

What is something I hate about the world?: There's too much to choose from

What is something I love about the world?: children and nature

My favorite scents: vanilla, lavender, pine, Nag Champa incense, BBQ meat, pizza with basil, rosemary, my Dad's cologne

Cats or dogs?: kitties 💗

What kind of sleeper am I?: A weird one lol. I can't lay on my stomach for more than 15 minutes without it making me incredibly nauseous for the rest of the day, but it's also my favorite way to sleep cause its comfy somehow... I can't lay on my back without a pillow either, 30 seconds in and the nerves pinch so bad I'm screaming. I snore, and I sleep deep, but it takes a long time to fall asleep and usually only beeping or banging noises wake me up??? Like I said, I sleep weird

How long would I survive in a zombie apocalypse?: I really don't know. I have some skills and the drive to learn to fight, but I am currently, as I'm sure y'all can tell, very sick and I don't think I'd be able to live with so much movement and so little medicine

Am I trusting?: Generally, I probably trust too much but I'm not gonna stop

What fictional characters do I identify with?: there are many I like but none I identify with

My most common labels: Mom friend, butch, that weird fat chick (doesn't bother me tho), the well behaved daughter, old soul

My life's anthem: I really am not sure if this is a good anthem song but I love it so so much... Take Me In Your Arms (Rock Me A Little While) by Kim Weston - you see where I get my love of long titles lol

Problems I'm dealing with: my health and whatever painful sickness is wrecking me, figuring out what to do with my life, saving money, getting my anxiety under control, getting the house to actually heat up because I'm cold as fuck

How can someone win me over?: let me express my interests and feelings, show kindness, be funny

What is something people don't know about me?: Idk

Not tagging anyone, this took over an hour

[meetmeinthematinee]

Torn -- Chapter 3

John Wick x Original Female Character.

Previous chapters: Ch 1  & Ch 2

AN: No warnings. A little angsty, a little sad, a little happy. This took FOREVER to come together. Hopefully the next chapter doesn’t take me as long. 

-----------------------------------------------------

“Do you like pesto?”

His eyes lit up. “What kind?” 

“Honestly? Usually jarred basil but since you’re here and I offered to make dinner...I’ll do it from scratch. Can you cut a big bunch of basil for me? It’s in the planter on the back deck.”

He nodded and took the scissors she handed him, stealing a quick kiss. Gremlin danced around at her feet as she pulled the hunk of Parmesan out of the fridge. “Fine. Cheese for the cheese god!” She said as she held the cheese aloft before she tossed a tiny bit onto the floor. Gremlin snatched it up so quickly he didn’t realise he’d eaten it. John just stood back and laughed at the scene in front of him. “You offer him sacrifices? No wonder he’s such a menace.” He said, leaning against the kitchen island and setting down the scissors. Kristen laughed and nodded in agreement. “Can dog have some? I wouldn’t want him to feel left out.” “Sure.” He said. Dog’s ears perked up and he wandered over at the sound of his name. He gently took the small piece of cheese from Kristen’s hand. “Oh buddy. You’re such a sweetheart.” She said softly to him as she pet his velvety ears. 

John washed the basil in the sink and inhaled the fresh and bright scent. God he missed this. He missed the little domestic things. I think she’d like Kristen. That last thought made his heart ache and his breath catch in his throat. “I think it’s clean now. Hey, John!” He startled when he felt her hand on his back. “You ok?” She said hesitantly. “Yeah.” He said his mouth curling upward into a small smile. She kissed his cheek and snatched the basil from him. “I can set out a bowl for Dog if he’s ok to eat what I give Gremlin.” She said as she made her way over to the food processor. “Yes, thank you. I’m sure he’ll be happy about that.” Her thoughtfulness and warmth helped ease the ache in his chest. 

Between bites of pasta they got to know each other. Trading likes and dislikes and facts as if it was precious currency between them. “Beatles or the Stones?” He asked. “The Kinks.” She said with a smirk. “Oh, you’re that kind of person.” He said with a sharp laugh as he tipped his glass at her. “You?” She asked “The Stones.” She chewed her pasta for a moment and considered. “Really. I woulda pegged you as a Beatles guy.” “I mean. Yeah. They’re great but if I have to choose…” He said with a knowing smile. “Favourite rom-com, if you have one” She said leaning forward in her seat and raising an eyebrow. “Moonstruck.” He said confidently, setting down his glass. “Oh damn! That’s a good one.” He watched her expression shift from shock to delight. He loved how she had no poker face. Every thought, every feeling was expressed by her face, her body. He wondered what it would be like to be so unguarded. In his line of work that would be a liability. “What’s yours?” Kristen laughed. “What?” John said, his voice low and a smirk on his lips. He sat back and folded his arms across his chest. “This whole thing is just... funny. Here we are in my house eating dinner and getting to know each other. We’ve kinda done everything backwards don’t you think?” John shrugged his shoulders and leaned forward, taking her hand across the table. “I really like you Kristen.” He said simply as he rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. His eyes were filled with a warmth and affection that made him look so much younger. She covered his hand with her much smaller one and leaned in. Lowering her voice as if she was about to reveal a deep, dark, secret. “I like you too, John.” 

In his feverish state he kept turning their first date over and over in his mind. He was laying in bed willing himself to feel fine enough to take her out tonight. They’d been seeing each other for a couple of months now but John still hadn’t invited Kristen over to his house. She joked that it was because that’s where he hid all the bodies and he humoured her, but in truth it was because his place felt empty. Not like a home at all. Just a place to sleep and recover from whatever he’d gotten himself into last. After everything that had happened with his home with Helen he couldn’t bring himself to make the effort with this new one. It was something he had a lot of time to consider since he’d come down with whatever this was. His eyes felt hot and no matter how many blankets he had on he just couldn’t get warm. He could feel every old injury, everything ached. “Fuck. I’ll have to call off our date.” He huffed and Dog looked over at him from his spot on the bed. 

I really want to see you tonight but I’m sick. 

Can we reschedule? I’m sorry babe.

-I’m calling you!

“Hey, sweetheart.” His voice was barely a whisper. “Jesus John, you sound really bad.” 

“Thanks?” He attempted to laugh but it devolved into a coughing fit. 

“I’m coming over. What’s your address?”

“No I’m--”

“Listen it’s not up for debate. Address. Now.” She jotted it down on her notepad. He lived just on the outskirts of the city, right by the lake. “I’ll see you in a little while ok? Please call me if you feel any worse. Promise?” “Yes ma’am.” He croaked out. 

“Steph? I’m calling it early today. John’s really sick and it’s only half hour til close anyway so it’s your lucky day.” Steph lifted an eyebrow in amusement. “Closing early? For a man? You must really like this guy.” Kristen pursed her lips in mock disapproval before a shy smile appeared on her face. “I really do. Now go home! I’ll still pay you the difference.” “Niceee!” “You’re right, I am.”

I guess I know who lives in this place now. She thought to herself as she pulled down the driveway of the gorgeous modern house.  

-I’m here!

I’ll let you in. May take a min.

Kristen leashed up Gremlin and hauled the groceries out of the trunk. John was just opening the door as she got to the front steps. To say he looked dishevelled would be kind. He was clammy, his normally well groomed hair sticking up at all angles and he had almost no colour to his face. “Don’t worry I feel worse than I look.” He said with a small chuckle that turned into a coughing fit. He reached for the bags but she handed him Gremlin’s leash instead. “I’ve got em John. I’m here to take care of you, remember?” “You didn’t have to do all this.” “I know. I wanted to. Let’s get you back to bed.” “Alright.” He said with a tight smile. She wound her arm around his waist and followed him to his bedroom. It was sparsely decorated, painted white with a king size bed that faced the floor to ceiling windows that overlooked the lake. 

“Are you tucking me in?” He asked as she pulled the blankets up around him and smoothed her hand over his clammy brow. “You’ve got quite a fever. I’ll be right back.” He sank back against the pillows. He closed his eyes and startled when he felt her gently lay a cool washcloth over his forehead. “That feels so good.” He murmured as she smoothed her hand over his hair. “Get some sleep if you can. I’ll make some soup and look after dog.” He nodded. “Thank you.” Kristen leaned down and kissed him softly on the cheek before shutting the door quietly behind her.

Nothing is more disorienting than trying to cook in someone else’s kitchen. She thought to herself as she got to work on the soup for John. “I’m so glad I came over, Dog. You’re very sweet but no thumbs means you can’t do much for him.” She eyed the contents of the fridge. It was fairly empty. Some craft beer, cheese. Random condiments. Leftovers that looked like they were once pretty tasty. “At least I know he can cook for himself.” She got to work on the soup. It was her favourite quick and dirty chicken noodle. Briefly sauteed veggies, boiling water, bay leaves, chicken breasts and then a couple of stock cubes. When the chicken had cooked through she pulled it out and cut it into bite size pieces before adding it back into the soup. While she was waiting for the noodles to finish she fed Gremlin and Dog. She pulled out her phone and snapped a pic of them eating happily, side by side. 

After an hour Kristen quietly slipped into John’s room. He was sleeping on his back, his arms up over his head against his pillow, his face flushed from the fever. She felt a tug in her chest. God it was way too soon for this but she was starting to feel like she could love this man. She sat on the edge of the bed and whispered “John.” His breathing changed but he didn’t wake up. She gently laid the back of her hand on his forehead. Flipping her hand over she smoothed it over his hair. “John, sweetheart, do you want some soup?” He stirred, the corners of his lips turning upward in a sleepy smile. Without opening his eyes he pressed his hot face into her hand. “Helen.”

A surprised “Oh” was all Kristen could manage to get out. His eyes opened and she could see the confusion in them and then something else. Pain. John felt an ocean of grief overwhelm him. He was dreaming when he heard his name and for a brief moment she was here again. His wife. Except she wasn’t. He covered his face with his hands. Kristen just sat quietly next to him on the bed. “I’m so sorry.” He rasped. He curled up around her, laying his head in her lap. “I thought you were her.” He barely got the words out before his shoulders started shaking. Pretty soon he was overcome by wracking sobs. “I know John, I know.” She said softly as she wrapped her arm around his shoulder and cradled his head in her lap. She held him, quietly stroking his hair until he calmed down. Trying to best to keep herself together. Once he was quiet again she leaned down and kissed his temple. “When was the last time you ate something sweetheart?” “I can’t remember.” He turned his puffy and tear streaked face to look at her. He looked shattered. And vulnerable. “Do you think you can stand or would you like me to bring you a bowl of soup?” “I’ll get up.” “Just take it slow, ok?” He nodded and slowly shifted off of her and into a seated position. He covered his face with his hands and took an unsteady breath, resting his elbows against his thighs. She leaned her head on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry Kristen. I. I’m a fucking mess.” “I know.” “What?” He turned and looked at her with surprise. She frowned. “That came out wrong. I meant I get it. First of all, your brain is cooking right now and you haven’t eaten since god knows when.” She took a deep breath. “And you don’t need to apologize. You had a life together and you loved each other. I’m not jealous of or hurt by that John.” He sat up and wrapped his arms around her. “God, you’re an incredible woman. I hope you know that.” “I do.” She laughed a little and got up, tugging him by the hand. “Come on big boy. Let’s eat.”

“Mmm this is so good I might start crying again.” Kristen rolled her eyes. “No, John. Crying because something is delicious is my thing and you can’t have it. But, I’ll take the compliment all the same.” She shot him warm grin and traced her fingers over his upturned palm. “Well, I’ll save the waterworks for the next time you make pesto again.” He smiled and curled his fingers against hers. His smile faded. “Today was the first time I ever had someone to.” He shifted in his seat and fixed his gaze on their entwined fingers. “Comfort me like that. I’m really sorry that I hadn’t invited you over yet. You’ve been here for all of a few hours and suddenly it feels like a real home.” He looked up at her, his face still flushed but his eyes were filled with gratitude and something else. What it was Kristen couldn’t say, exactly, but she hoped it was what she thought it was. 

[yoosungiib]

Hi! Can I make a request? How about RFA+Saeran+V reacting to MC who grabbed all of her stuff and left their shared apartment/penthouse/bunker or wherever they live together after a fight and then going after her to get her back? What the fight is about is up to you. Thank you!

RFA + Saeran and V getting into a fight with MC who leaves and winning her back

~~~

★ Yoosung ★

- You had planned a date for you and him at the park,

- It was something you two had been planning for weeks now.

- But just as Yoosung was about to leave your shared apartment, he got a notification for a new guild on LOLOL.

- He told himself it would only take a few minutes, and he would still get to the park in time for the date, but instead of a few minutes, it was a few hours, and Yoosung completely forgot about the date.

- my love, no

- You were devastated that he forgot.

- You sat at the park for hours waiting for him!

- Rationally, you go home to confront him and asked why he didn’t show up.

- The first thing you hear when you open the door is Yoosung screaming curse words and you can hear the sound of swords clashing. When you look into your room, you see him staring intensely at the computer.

- At first, you are just plain sad because you know he ditched your date – the date you were so excited for – just to play LOLOL. But than you feel angry, and with your anger you shut off the wireless servers so he can’t play.

- “nooooooo!!!”

- “Yoosung!” he spins around in his chair and starts begging you to put the wifi back on so he can just finish the guild, but you are way too upset and disappointed to even listen to him. “You ditched our date, and you know how excited I was to spend some time with you!”

- “You live with me, MC, what more time do you need?”

- “That’s not the point. We had plans and you should uphold them. And even if we do live with each other, what’s wrong with wanting to spend some more time together.”

- Nothing prepared you for the harsh words that left your boyfriends mouth. How could such a sweet boy suddenly be so cruel? “Did you ever stop to think that maybe I just don’t want to spend time with you since I’m sick of seeing you all the time?”

- You felt your jaw drop and your eyes begin to water. At the same to, you see guilt brimming in Yoosung’s eyes. He tries to say something but you brush it off, already going to the closet to get a suitcase and start packing your stuff.

- He doesn’t even try to stop you spare the few times he coo’s your name.

- He watches rather tearfully as you walk through the door, slamming it shut, making him jump.

- He sits on the couch and cries for a bit before finally getting his shit together realizing he needs to find you.

- Yoosung wastes no time asking Seven to help track you, and he tells you that you are staying at Jaehee’s. Yoosung takes the next bus over and starts running up the stairs towards Jaehee’s apartment and begins banging on the door.

- “Is MC there? Can I please talk to her?”

- “Yoosung, why are you here?” You say from behind Jaehee, your eyes red which only makes Yoosung’s heart hurt a little more.

- “I’m so sorry, honey. I ment none of it, I swear. It was a spur of the moment and it was such a stupid thing for me to say. I love you so much and I love to spend time with you. I was being a big meanie by ditching our date, and I would love if you would come back home with me. I promise to make it up to you and plan a even more spectacular date.”

- You giggle a little at how he says “meanie” and you wrap your arms around Yoosung, pulling him into a hug.

- “I’ll come back home, but I want an extra omelet in the morning.”

♪ Zen ♪

- “It’s part of the show! Why can’t you understand that?”

- The yelling had been going on for hours.

- It all started that morning when you found Zen and the lead actress of his next movie getting pretty close to each other. You could brush it off if it wasn’t that you saw him whispering in her ear a lot and holding her hand, smiling and making her blush.

- You admit to being jealous but you thought it was rational.

- At home, you told Zen how you felt but he took it way out of proportion.

- “Zen, I do understand! I just wanted to tell you how I feel.”

- “How about I tell you how I feel? I don’t like you accusing me of flirting with the other women on set because you are just that insecure about yourself.”

- You were taken aback at that. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

- “It means that whenever you see me with another woman you get so defensive and accusative. You seem to forget about my job.”

- “But, honey,” he glared at the pet name and you felt yourself shrink back away from him, a little intimidated and surprised by his harshness. “You get jealous all the time if I am just talking to a guy, how is it any different?”

- “The difference is that this is my job and you are just being a slut.”

- Tears immediately began overflowing and cascading down your cheeks as you sobbed into your palms. Zen has never called you a name before, not alone something as crude as that.

- “Well, then I’ll leave.”

- He gasped at your words and instantly tries to take them back, but you couldn’t care less.

- You packed your suitcase with everything you needed and left.

- Zen needed a drink and a good hour to think about what just happened, so he headed to the local bar and drowned out his sorrows.

- For hours, he sat at the bar, drink after drink until he realized how much he fucked up and he needed to fix this.

- He frantically started spamming the RFA chat in hopes to find you, but Seven refused to tell him where you were and everyone else was practically shunning him.

- He decided the only place you could be was Rika’s apartment, or that was the best guess he had.

- He headed the apartment, and thankfully, he was correct.

- You were there and in your devastated state, didn’t even bother to lock the door. He found you asleep on the couch, your cheeks stained with tears.

- To his dismay, he started crying too, collapsing to your side and spurting out apologies.

- “Jagiya. I’m so sorry. What did I do, why did I do that? Why did I call you such a wretched thing? You are the most beautiful, pure, warm hearted girl I’ve ever met. And I love you so much. I don’t want to lose you, please don’t leave me. Let me make this right. Let me find a way to make this right. Let me make it up to you for every tear you shed.”

- You woke during the middle of his little speech, and although you were still hurt by his words, you were willing to forgive him and make things work.

- The two of you walked hoe hand in hand,

- Well, Zen was kinda drunk so he was leaning on you a lot to be honest, god dammit

❀ Jaehee ❀

- Was not a good day at the cafe today.

- Not to mention, you had a cold so you did not go to work at the cafe today, leaving your lovely girlfriend to deal with everything alone.

- She faced disrespectful customers, dealt with clumsy waiters and an overbearing phone bill.

- Overall, she was absolutely done and wiped.

- She just wanted to rest and have some time to herself, but of course, you wanted to spend some time with her.

- She tried to let you off nicely by hinting of how tired she was,

- But you were relentless!

- You needed your baehee!!!!

- She reached her breaking point when you tried to put in one of Zen’s DVD’s, which normally she would be ok with, but with being so on edge at the moment, she didn’t want you touching them.

- “MC, Don’t touch it!”

- “Oh, I’m sorry, Jaehee.”

- Normally your hurt voice would have Jaehee breaking, but today she was ruthless, and angry, and done with everything.

- “What is wrong with you? Have you never learnt to not touch what isn’t yours.”

- There was no room for you to but in, Jaehee just kept going. “Sometimes I feel as if I’m speaking to a child. You have sense of respect for anyone else’s things. You’re like a greedy monster that just grabs at everything.”

- Jaehee no.

- You push yourself off the ground and spit out, “Fine, then I’ll take my greedy little hands and leave.”

- And you did just that. You left Jaehee a little dumbstruck and went right out the door without a second thought. You didn’t even bother to collect any clothes.

- Jaehee sighed and rested her head in her hands before she concluded she needed to find you.

- Her first thought was to ask the group chat where you might be, but then she decided it wasn’t a good idea for 1) You could have already told everyone what happened so maybe they wouldn’t tell her where you were, and 2) If you hadn’t, she didn’t want to accidentally overshare and embarrass you.

- But she was running out of options, so she asked Jumin if he may know any secret spots you might go to considering you guys are close.

- Unfortunately, he doesn’t.

- So Jaehee goes down to the cafe in hopes to maybe find you there just hiding out, and she was lucky because you were.

- You sat at a small table crying softly while nibbling on a cupcake, sniffling too, not just because of your crying but because you still have your cold!

- Carefully, Jaehee sat down and tried to explain herself.

- “I’m sorry, MC. I just had a really bad day. That doesn’t excuse how I treated you and hurting your feelings. I really don’t know what to do to make it up to you or really make you feel better. All I can say is that I am so sorry and I love you so much. Can we go back home and try and sort things out there? It’s really cold here.”

- You nod and smile softly, taking her hand and letting her bring you back to the apartment.

- Once at the apartment, you two cuddle on the couch and have a nice long chat shared with kisses and snuggles.

☂ Jumin ☂

- Jumin is a very patient man and very good at holding his emotions in.

- But everyone has bad days, including Jumin. And today was one of those bad days.

- His father brought a woman to the office who made quite a scene about the servicemen not being very… charitable.

- Jumin was not only furious about the scene, but that his father stooped so low once again and was blinded by another woman cleary out for his money.

- You have a tendency to talk quite a bit, which normally doesn’t bother Jumin because he loves to listen to your soft voice.

- He especially loves the way your voice gradually gets higher when talking about something you love.

- But today, he couldn’t give a shit what you had to say.

- He just wanted to relax on the couch with his wine and forget about everything.

- Everything with his father and everything about women.

- But here you were on the couch rambling on about something that happened in the RFA chat, and something that you saw on TV, or something that you read in a book. After awhile, he snapped at you.

- “Shut it, MC. Let there be peace and quiet in this household for once.”

- You were appalled at how curtly he spoke. He had never once risen his voice at you before. “I beg your pardon?”

- “Do not make me repeat myself, MC. I am not in the mood.”

- “Jumin, do not think I will let you speak to me that way. I can see that you have had a rough day. Would you like to talk about it?”

- “It is not up for discussion.”

- “Please don’t ball up your feelings. Just talk to me-”

- You were cut off with a mumbled god dammit, but what startled you the most was how Jumin suddenly raised his arm as if he was about to back hand you. He stared you right in the eyes too, his narrowing thoroughly. You shut your eyes preparing yourself, but when you opened them, you saw the shock on his face when he realized what he almost did.

- Now was not the time to think.

- You rushed away from Jumin and locked the door to your bedroom. You frantically started packing every essential into a suitcase.

- You needed to leave. Just for a few days.

- Jumin let you be for a week. He knew you were back in Rika’s apartment, since you said so in the group chat without giving any details.

- After that week, Jumin decided it was time he fix things.

- He knew he messed up, and he knew he was in the wrong. And he desperately wanted you back.

- He knocked on the door and you answered looking rather disheveled. It looked as if you hadn’t bathed since you left.

- Entering the apartment, Jumin gently caressed and kissed your cheek before speaking in that cool, toned voice of his.

- “My love. Words cannot express how sorry I am for the way I was towards, and the way I acted. I would never dream of laying a hand on you, or hurting you in any other way. It pains me to know that I hurt your feelings. I will learn to better control my anger if you please give me a second chance. I cannot live without you, my love. You are my better half. Please come back home.”

- It took a couple more speeches from him to convince you to come back home, but in the end you are glad you did because you truly missed him too, and you did forgive him after all.

☺ Seven/Saeyoung ☺

- Is it much of a surprise that your fight starts because Seven is ignoring you?

- Even after everything, he will still go through those faces of ignoring you, claiming he is too busy, or too dangerous.

- You were becoming sick of it, truth be told.

- You stuck with him through thick and thin, how long will it take for him realize you are not going anywhere?

- You decide it is time to make that clear.

- However, things didn’t go as plan. You had hoped for a nice, peaceful conversation with your husband.

- Not the yelling.

- “Are you stupid? I said I don’t want you near me. I said to leave me the hell alone!”

- “But Saeyoung-”

- “No! I don’t want to hear from you anymore. Why can’t you be an obedient wife and go when I tell you to?”

- Your brow crosses and you feel yourself start to become increasingly angry. “What era do you think this is? The reason I am not going anywhere is because I care about you and I love you enough that I am worried and want to help you. Don’t you even dare try to dismiss me.”

- Saeyoung makes a huge display of waving you off, sputtering out, “Goodbye! Dismissing you! Try not to let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!”

- By now, you are crying, wiping furiously at your eyes. You decide to do as he says and leave, packing your bags and taking one of his cars too.

- Later in the night, when Saeyoung finishes his work, he decides it’s about time to apologize.

- For someone who prides himself on knowing everything, he seemed to not notice that you left.

- He tracks your phone and absolutely panics when he sees that you are at a cliff side.

- His baby vrooms him to the cliff and when he sees you sitting on the edge, he’s already screaming and begging for you not to jump.

- “I’m not gonna jump, Saeyoung, I’m just relaxing,” you mumble, which calms him down. A lot.

- But he can see that you have been crying, which absolutely breaks his heart. 

- This is all his fault. 

- He sits next to you and tries to take your hand, but you don’t let him. He sighs, knowing he has to fix this and make things right.

- “I fucked up. I’m sorry, baby. I really, really am. I was rude and dismissive and a shitty husband. I’m sorry I hurt you. If I could do anything to just erase this day and pretend it never happened, I would.”

- “You don’t understand, Saeyoung. It’s not like this is the first time you have done this.

- He nods.

- “You’re right, I’ve done this too many times and it was stupid of me. I’m sorry. God above knows I am. Please, it’s so cold out here. Let me atleast hold you so you can stay warm.”

- You smile gently, allowing him to pull you against his chest to keep you warm. After an hour or so, you go back to the bunker where you continue your cuddle session, this time with Saeran too.

❆ V ❆

- You had never met such a kindhearted man as V.

- However, being with such a kind heart, he has a tendency to let people walk over him.

- Not only that, he tends to live in the past too.

- You’ll find him sometimes in a funk, dwelling over Rika and everything that happened, even after what she did and you two now being married.

- You would be lying if you said that it didn’t hurt you that he still thought about her.

- But what hurt the most was that even after his eye surgery, he will say he wishes he never got it done because now he’s “wronged her.”

- You try to express how you feel, and even get him to understand that he really shouldn’t dwell over Rika anymore. Rika hurt him and so many others, why can’t he just try to move on?

- “You didn’t deserve any of the pain Rika caused you.”

- “Why are you so cold to her? Why can’t anyone understand that she was troubled.”

- “I-I do understand, Jihyun, but that isn’t the point.”

- “What is your point then?”

- “That she didn’t treat you right, and that her illness and difficult past didn’t give her a right to hurt you and all the others. Of course I understand that she had a rough time, and I feel for her, I-”

- “Do you?” V snapped. You stutter a bit, trying to find your ground, but he kept talking. “Do you understand? The worse that has ever happened to you is that you have broken a nail.”

- “Hey, come on. Don’t do this-”

- “Sometimes I don’t know why we are together. Are we even compatible?”

- “You… you don’t mean that.”

- But he didn’t say anything in response, which was a conclusion to you that he did mean it and it broke your heart.

- Without a second’s thought, you started packing your bags and making arrangements to stay at hotel.

- You didn’t want to go to Rika’s apartment, and you sure as hell could not stay here, not if he didn’t want you here.

- You felt the hot tears pooling at the rims of your eyes before finally spilling down your face.

- Your crying seemed to snap V out of a daze and he rushed to you, grabbing your arm and trying to stop you.

- The two of you struggled against each other until you finally stopped having gave in, but you still continued to sob, however.

- “Oh, darling, god. I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I said that. Of course we are compatible. I love you so much, we were meant for each other. You are my star because you are my dream come true. I don’t want to let go of that dream, a dream that only involves you. Please forgive me for my cruelty, I love you, MC. Please don’t leave.”

- You sighed, not seeing the point in leaving, but you needed V to understand something: “Stop dwelling about Rika. No good comes out of it. You don’t have to think what she did was… wrong, but just stop, or realize that you don’t deserve any pain, and that there are people besides you who love you. Love you more than she ever could.”

☻ Saeran/Unknown ☻

- Saeran has been through hell and back.

- And you understand!

- You are there for him through every breakdown, tantrum, fit, panic attack, and you will always be there for him.

- But even so, sometimes he tests your patience, and you reach your limit.

- Today was that day. You were sitting on the couch together when you accidently spilt your water on his pants.

- He immediately starting yelling at you calling you names and telling you how useless you were.

- “Dumb bitch! Can you do anything right? Fucking clean this up! Don’t just sit there, do something!”

- Some disrespect, you could put up with because he always made it up to you, but today, you had had it.

- “Don’t you dare talk to me like that. I put up with everything, and I have never left your side. Don’t you think I deserve some respect?”

- “What bitch gets respect?”

- You let out a small pained sob before slapping him across the face. You hated doing that, especially because of his mother, but god his words hurt.

- And you love him, but he takes it too far. He doesn’t even realize it sometimes.

- “Where are you going?” he snaps.

- “Away. I need some time.”

- You don’t even pack anything, just get in a car and drive a good 400 miles out of town.

- Little did you know, and luckily for you, that soon after Saeran got in the car and started driving after you, so it was about 30 minutes till he found you in the middle of nowhere just staring off into the distance.

- When you see him, you’re about to walk off but he gently takes your arm and pulls you back towards him.

- “Saeran-”

- “No, no, please let me just… let me just try and do this right. Just let me try. Let me try and apologize to you. I shouldn’t have said that, and I shouldn’t have been such a dick head. You’re right. I need to treat you with respect. You deserve respect. And I’m… grateful for everything you have done for me. I’m so sorry, MC. I really am.”

- You rest your forehead against his, letting a final tear slip down your cheek. “Saeran… please let me help you. Please work with me.”

- “I’ll try. I love you, MC.” And with that, he gave you a gentle kiss. 

~~~

Check my masterlist page for rules on request!

Masterlist

[howellstvdies]

pretty long post coming up! thanks to @flcwerstudies  for tagging me! love ya, babe

1. when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? 

i try and make it even, but somehow there always ends up being milk left behind. it annoys me so much

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? 

it depends. some days, i’m elsa (the cold never bother me anyway!); some days all i ever want from life is warmth and cuddles and a cat

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? 

business cards, paper towels, my phone, pens, a necklace once. i nearly lost it, then

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? 

tea: two spoons of sugar and milk, but i don’t take it that much.

coffee: creamer or two spoons of sugar.

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? 

yes, it’s ridiculous

6: do you keep plants? 

not yet!

7: do you name your plants? 

i’m planning on naming them sherlock and finn, and then name some of them after bts

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? 

journaling, writing, drawing (if what i do can be considered drawing), and lots and lots of singing 

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? 

yes, because i like the fact that i can hit power notes (like when i’m singing burn from hamilton)

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? 

stomach and side, but mostly on my tummy.

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? 

so far, there’s “i could be a stripper” and “goshdarn oprah”

12: what’s your favorite planet? 

i like pluto because it’s a smol bean, and saturn because of the rings

13: what’s something that made you smile today? 

i watched america’s funniest videos with my mom

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? 

there would be books EVERYWHERE, and two cats lounging around, and a coffee maker, and blankets EVERYWHERE. also, high speed wifi

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! 

scientists have traced unusually regular radio signals being emitted from an unknown object in the galaxy m82.

ALIENS PEOPLE!

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? 

i haven’t really had that many pasta dishes, but i’ll eat it any day

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

a dark blue, with streaks of tardis blue

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. 

i don’t really have anything right now 

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? 

i do keep a journal. i try to write reflections and things like that, but i’m always just ranting about how stupid and cowardly i am. and there are some to-do lists. 

20: what’s your favorite eye color? 

i’m probably just saying this because i have a crush on someone with this color eyes, but blue-grey eyes make me weak at the knees.

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

my favorite bag is my school bag, to be honest, because that’s where all the books are. 

22: are you a morning person? 

nope, i’m a night person, but i also force myself to sleep early.

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? 

sleep, watch netflix, watch dan and phil, read

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? 

there is one person that i’m slowly getting there with, and another person i really want to get there with, but none so far

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? 

nowhere, yet

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? 

i wear my white sneakers quite a bit, but i haven’t had them for forever. i also wear my snow boots a lot, but that’s because they’re warm and i am weak.

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

i don’t have gum that much, but i like strawberry.

28: sunrise or sunset?  

sunset.

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? 

omigod, there’s so many; i find almost everyone cute. one of my friends does this thing when she’s proud of herself when she looks so smug and adorable. my other friend doesn’t laugh that much, so when i make him laugh, it’s like i’ve just discovered the secrets of life. and when my friend/crush laughs, he goes pink and he scrunches his nose and i die a little bit inside. 

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? 

i get really scared about emotions, but i don’t think i’ve been blood-curdling scared yet. 

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

i love socks! i love weird socks and fuzzy socks and any socks. i try to sleep with my socks, but i remove them in the middle of the night and i don’t remember. 

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

my cousins and i had just watched markiplier and danandphil play five nights at freddies, and we were spooked, so we started watching spongebob in the middle of the night.

33: what’s your fave pastry?

the first time i ever had a crosant with chocolate inside, i died and went to food heaven.

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? 

i had an eeyore stuffed doll that i called doofy for some reason and i always slept with it. i had to leave it in kenya when we moved, but i’m on the hunt for another stuffed friend. 

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

YES YES YES. it annoys my mom sometimes

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? 

all time low’s theraphy would be my mood right now, i think.

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? 

clean, but sometimes, the messiness is apealing.

38: tell us about your pet peeves! 

people asking me if i’m mad when i’m just being quiet. people who are mean to teachers, complaining about them not getting grades in (70 kids, more than 100 assignments to grade, and they have a life, please just stuff it). people who gossip about other people. dramatic people. racists, mysogonists, albiests, general asses. 

39: what color do you wear the most? 

black and blue, mainly black

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? 

i have a necklace that my aunt gave me a few years ago. i always wore it to feel close to her. 

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

the rosie project by graeme simsion. i got it at goodwill, and even my dad liked it. my dad very rarely likes the books i pick. 

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! 

none yet, but there is a starbucks in our town that i’ve been to a couple of times. not only was it my first starbucks visit, but i’ve had some very good memories there. 

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? 

i don’t even think i ever gazed at the stars with someone. i want to, though

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? 

when we were moving and the place was quiet, and the tv was off and i’d just woken up. i sat on the couch and read and i was so calm and happy.  

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

kinda?? i do sometimes, but i do tend to overreact and overthink, so other times i don’t.

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

never apollogize for your bad puns about greek gods

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? 

PICKLES. my god, i hate pickles so much.

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? 

i was and still am scared of the dark

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

i really like that idea, but i don’t have anything to play them on currently, so i don’t do that.

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? 

i collect clothing tags for bookmarks, but i don’t really collect things.

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? 

my dad. any bon jovi/rock song made in the 80s.

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? 

salt bae and spongebob being a chicken.

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? 

no, not yet. i keep meaning to, but i never get round to it.

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? 

my baby sister a few days ago. we usually leave for school at the same time, and she had to stay home because she was sick. she looked so sad when i was leaving that i could actually feel my heart break.

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

i don’t think i’ve ever done anything dramatic.

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? 

when people laugh and it’s a full-on laugh and they very rarely do that, dimples, when people engage my stupid questions (”dragons or dinosaurs?”) and go with it, people who are okay with just sitting in the quiet but they can also stay stupid funny thins, dimples, using hands to explain things, DIMPLES

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? 

really happy. i kept reancting lyrics and playing air guitar when it called for it. that song is fun.

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? 

i don’t really have a group of friends but i think i’d be the vodka aunt and my friend charise would be the wine mom. (sometimes it’s switched)

59: what’s your favorite myth? 

icarus and persephone and hades

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

i like it but i very rarely read it. i feel like you have to be really smart to understand poetry, and i’m not smart enough.

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? 

i gave a few of my friend nail polish, and i don’t think i’ve ever gotten a stupid gift

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? 

orange juice most of the time, grape juice when i have it

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? 

i leave them be most of the time. as long as they’re not getting hurt, i’m good. 

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? 

dark blue almost black

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? 

i saw my cousin for the first time in MONTHS before we moved, and he’s really tall now, and he lets me cuddle him and he gives me back hugs and i miss him so much (but i’m not telling him that because he’d rub it in my face)

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? 

small roses! peach blossoms and cherry blossoms too. one huge ass hibiscus or lotus flower as a statement piece

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? 

cozy and sheltered, sometimes. really melancholy and silent most of the time

68: what’s winter like where you live? 

not too bad (i’ve only had one so far)

69: what are your favorite board games? 

monopoly and game of life and clue

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

no, but i knida want to??

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? 

i don’t really have one

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? 

depends. if its something i care about, no. otherwise, yep

73: what are some of your worst habits? 

running away from my emotions and other people’s emotions, expecting the best out of people when i know i’m gonna get the worst

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

not too loud, but very passionate. listens to a lot more rap music even though they look like a punk rock person. doesn’t look people in the eye, but looks me in the eye sometimes and makes me wanna cry. i really like him

75: tell us about your pets! 

i don't have pets!! (thanks mom)

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? 

sleeping BUT I WILL FINISH THIS IF IT KILLS ME

77: pink or yellow lemonade? 

pink

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? 

fanclub they’re adorable

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? 

making me a grilled cheese for my birthday (was my first grilled cheese)

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? 

white and no. i wanna paint them tardis blue

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. 

the ice floating in the open sea, the color of the sky right after it’s rained

82: are/were you good in school? 

yes! i find it fun so it’s easy for me

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? 

an airplane carried me to bed by sky sailing looks really preety

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? 

i want to get slytherin in fancy font on my ankle and a semicolon on the inside of my wrist

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? 

no, but i want to 

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? 

i don’t know if i’ve heard any

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? 

the fundamentals of caring, dead poet’s society

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? 

i don’t really know any

89: are you close to your parents? 

yeah

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. 

london when i was eight - warm summer days and walking to the park in the afternoon, popsicle slipping down my hand. watching cartoons with my cousins and reading in a blanket fort. merry-go-rounds and playing with sprinklers even if i’m fully dressed. going to the beach, and the day is cold and windy, the sky is grey, and it’s so beautiful my chest hurts

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? 

i wanna go to new york at some point but my parents are grade-a procrastinators and i can’t go without them

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? 

half-and-half, but more towards the barely side.

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? 

braids with a right part.

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? 

my little cousin turned 7 a few days ago

95: what are your plans for this weekend? 

sleep and read and sleep

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? 

procrastination is always my situation

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? 

infp-t, scorpio, slytherin 

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? 

almost a year ago, not my best hiking experience. that was more about the people than the hike

99: list some songs that resonate with your soul whenever you hear them. 

for some reason, mess is mine by vance joy really makes me feel things. also, almost every single bts song i’ve ever heard

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 

5 years in the past, with the knowledge i have know, so i can fix mistakes my over-dramatic, 10-year-old self made.

this took fifty years i swear. i tag @studiousmochi @studytherin @pinetreestudies @athenus @eintsein @educatier @elkstudies and @studylustre , and whoever wants to do this. xoxo

[lightningcola]

((I said I’d post info on my ocs eventually so here it is lol. Also here’s a link to all art I have posted of them.))

ღBasic Infoღ

Full Name~ Sommy Childs/Booker Meaning~ none

Nickname/Preferred Name~ Sommy

Age~ 24

Age They Look~ 17-19, they age way slower than they should

Birthday~ February 13th Zodiac Sign~ Aquarius

Gender~ nonbinary/agender Pronouns~ they/them Sexuality~ aro/ace

Ethnicity~ generic white

Voice~ nasally, annoying. Loud when they're trying to be Extra™, no particular accent

Known Languages~ English

Theme Song(s)~ Young and a Menace - Fall Out Boy, Monster - Imagine Dragons

Theme Color~ bright green

ღPhysical Appearanceღ

Species~ human Skin color~ pale, pallor, a little sickly

Birthmarks~ none

Hair color~ black and green Hair length~ right above their shoulders, slightly curly and choppy, it grows super fast so they’re constantly trimming it, sometimes they get lazy and it grows out pretty long

Hair Texture~ generally kinda greasy, the dyed part is fried

Hair Dye(s)~ green streak on their left side Eye Color(s)~ dark purple Height~ 5′2 Weight~ 120 lbs but it varies pretty drastically

Body Build~ they’re short but they’re pretty strong

Blood Type~ AB-

Freckles~ none Tattoo/Scar/Piercings~ scars below left eye, right cheek, and hands from being thrown out a window. Scar on neck from getting their head almost chopped off by a couple cult weirdos. It gives them a raspy voice and affects their breathing, they just start wheezing sometimes. Scars on palms from themself. Scar on right shoulder from getting shot and scar on left thigh from getting slashed that causes their arm and leg to get stiff if it gets cold or if they don’t move it for a while. Glasses/Contacts/General Eyesight~ no glasses, good eyesight

Dominant Hand~ right

Scent~ coppery or metallic, hair bleach

ღFashionღ

General Description~dark clothes with collars or scarves

◇Formal◇ Switches between dresses and suits. They prefer dresses that they can run in, normally with long sleeves and a collar to cover up scars. ♧Pajamas♧ T-shirt and boxers usually, their favorite sleep shirt is an old Fogbank one ♤Usual Clothes♤ Turtleneck with black jeans and their usual trench coat, also their terribly edgy boots

ღHealthღ

Smoker?~ heavy Drinker?~ yes Drugs?~ used to do party drugs, due to their healing factor though drugs affect Sommy less and less as the time goes on. Endigo still affects them, though they only take it occasionally since it heightens their abilities then wipes them out for like a whole day, also they get pretty sick afterward, like the world's worst hangover. Issues?~ boi u bet

Allergies~ none

Mental Disorders~ none diagnosed

Physical Disabilities~ none Medication?~ sleeping pills, they have to take like way more than the recommended dose

Addictions?~ smoking, drinking Diet~ whatever's cheapest and closest. Since they use a lot of energy healing, they have to eat a lot more than the usual person.

Sleeping Habits~ They really don’t sleep well ever, they have a lot of nightmares. They actually need more rest than the average person so the lack of sleep double affects them. Sommy lives off mostly coffee and energy drinks. They can really only sleep comfortably when they’re around other people they trust. Because of this they always fall asleep when people hang out with them. Most people think it’s pretty rude, Rinnah especially. Sommy never explains why they fall asleep like that either so that doesn’t help anything. Void and Azariah do their best to accommodate this and often just hang around Sommy so they can actually get enough sleep. Neither really mention that they go out of the way to do this because Sommy would probably get super defensive. Sommy secretly really appreciates it though.

ღLifestyleღ

Bus?~ sometimes Train?~ sometimes Car?~ if they can steal one Others?~ would Love to ride a motorcycle

Neighborhood~ Usually a sad motel or a shitty apartment Upper/Middle/Low~ middle? I guess?

Education Level~ didn’t finish high school

Occupation~ hitman, works for Adelaide, professional older sibling to a bunch of mutant kids

Past Occupations~ bodyguard, courier

Dream Job~ FBI agent

Income~ $30,000 minimum each job

Goals~ not be such a terrible person, make a difference in someone’s life, help all the kids their parents fucked over, kill Adelaide 

Living with~ their own self-destructive ass, later they sorta kinda move in with Void.

ღTraitsღ

Optimistic or Pessimist~ pessimist Dangerous or not~ dangerous Daredevil or Cautious~ daredevil Introvert or Extrovert~ extroverted introvert Unorganized or Organized~ unorganized Logical or Emotional~ wants everyone to think they're very logical but they actually get emotional quite a lot Workaholic or Relaxaholic~ neither Confident or Shy~ tries to present themself as confident but it's just false bravo Stressed or Relaxed~ can get overwhelmed easily especially if they’re tired, which is all the time. Normally they’re pretty good at compartmentalizing stress but not all the time.  

Timid or Assertive~ assertive but in the most asshole way possible

Loud or Silent~ loud Naughty or Nice~ naughty (not sure how I feel about this wording tho) Bookworm or Not~ not Philosophical or Realistic~ realistic Believer or See to Believe~ see to believe but boi have they seen some shit

ღPersonalityღ

Usual Mood~ Tired™, grumpy, existential despair Habits~ scratching their skin off because they like to watch it heal, falling asleep around others, nail biting (like their hair, their nails grow super fast as well)

Values~ really skewed sense of justice, everyone is bad in some way, they blame themself for their parents' mistakes and do their best to try and fix it at all times Social Skills~ bad, like really bad. They usually come across as arrogant or sarcastic though they can act pretty well if needed. So it's more like they can fake social skills if they care enough but normally they don't

Strength~ good fighter, loyal, very rel8able if you get to know them, would die for you if they could actually die Weaknesses~ bad, mean, addictive personality, won't take their problems seriously ever, blames themself for too much shit, would fight you over nothing Soft Spots~ people who actually care about them, fuzzy socks, cats (they like to feed the stray cats that hang out in the alleys where they stay) Angry when~ someone goes after their friends/family (cliché, I know), being mislead, gaslighted Relaxed when~ with friends, in quiet places, cats Nervous when~ in large crowds, asking people for things, talking about themself

Phobias~ crippling loneliness, the inevitability of life, people they care about hating them

Pet Peeves~ people misgendering them, people hitting on them, people touching them in general, loud drunk guys

Likes~ fighting, funny socks, sitting around with people they like, when they actually get real sleep, cats, they love cats

Dislikes~ nightmares, themself, most of the people they work with, Murder Mom

Natural Talents~ fighting, being weird

Skills~ being the unwilling older sibling to a bunch of random mutant kids

Secrets~ they’re kind of a depressing open book if you ask the right questions, they would tell you most things about themself, they just get really anxious and nervous when they do it

Biggest Secret~ the fact that they’re still alive and who their adopted parents are (they’re hiding from Booker)

Does Anyone Know?~ Void

Regrets~ their entire life

ღFavoritesღ

Color~ bright green, black, muted greyish colors

Season~ fall

Holiday~ Halloween

Food~ anything home cooked

Animal~ cats

Book Genre~ mystery/thriller

Movie Genre~ horror

Music~ emo bs, Fogbank but only on the dl

ღLeast Favoritesღ

Color~ any bright color that’s not green

Season~ Summer

Holiday~ Valentine’s day

Food~ gas station sushi, they keep buying it and it keeps making them wicked sick

Animal~ rats

Book Genre~ romance

Movie Genre~ romance

Music~ sappy love songs

ღPowerღ

Type of Power~

Hemokinetics: they can control their own blood and any they touch. Usually, they form stake-like weapons since they're the easiest to make though they can make sharp edged weapons as well. Anything complex takes more energy and focus. They can only lose so much before they pass out from blood loss though they can absorb other people’s blood. Sommy can also sense injuries and illness in others and track people. They can also warm and cool their body temperature which allows their emo ass to wear their trenchcoat in the middle of summer.

Healing Factor: they heal faster than a normal human, but not at Deadpool or Wolverine levels. A cut or scrape takes anywhere from a minute or two to an hour or two to heal, bigger wounds take maybe a couple days. Cracked bones take about a day and broken bones can take up to a week depending. The problem with their healing is they can heal wrong very easily, like shattered bones can cause bone fragments to get lodged in muscle or joints which cause a lot of pain and they’re really hard to get out, bones can heal crooked which means Sommy has to re break them. When they were younger, they healed by producing a lot of scar tissue which is why old injuries still affect them/get stiff and stuff. They assume they got some bad internal injuries when they were a kid because they just get stabbing pains or they cough up blood. They know they can’t die from this but it scares the fuck out of Void. Sommy also can’t really have surgery or anything unless they counteract their healing ability, which they can do but since they still have old internal injuries they get pretty fucked up from that. They’re immune to blood borne illnesses but they can still get colds, the flu, stuff like that, they just recover faster. If they get too injured and don’t have enough energy to heal, their body starts to eat away at itself, if it gets too bad they go into a coma like state.

Other: They’re immune to mental manipulation from other anomalies, often the result is the feeling like someone is scraping at their brain. It’s not unbearable just uncomfortable and annoying. This goes for all anomalies.

Flaws~ they have to keep account of how much blood they've lost or else they will Die™, their healing factor will fuck them up if they’re not careful Accuracy~ relatively accurate? Control~ they're really good at the crude stakes and blades but anything too complex is difficult even if they're not fighting, though they get better with practice, they’re working on a claw thing

ღWeaponღ

Choice of Weapon(s): •hunting knife •handgun •shotgun, if they wanna get fancy Favorite/Main Weapon~ handgun Control~ pretty good Accuracy~ they are a great shot Flaws~ they always frickin run out of ammo because they never bring enough, they usually have to use a gun or something if they don’t plan on killing the person because they’d rather not show them their freaky blood power

ღRelationsღ

Mother~

Carol Childs. Sommy's birth mother, she was not ready for a kid and didn't want one either. She mostly liked to watch Sommy react from her yelling at them. She wasn't pure evil but she didn't have many good qualities either. She was the enforcer and the business part of the family business.

Joyce Booker. A police lieutenant, Joyce turned to adopting kids after witnessing too many shipped off to foster care. She tried her best in raising Sommy and Ophelia, giving them all the help she could think of, though she could be too over enthusiastic and overbearing at times. Sommy regrets not telling her how much they appreciated her. She was the kind of mom that the kid thinks is a little embarrassing but everyone else thinks is really cool.

Father~

Lyle Childs. He was a master scientist, the creator of the drug that caused Sommy’s powers. Sommy would have loved to hate him but he didn't interact with them long enough for them to know anything about him. Though Sommy did look him up after they were adopted, reading up on all of the terrible stuff he did.

Craig Booker. He was a quiet man, always worried about saying something wrong. However, he did love his children and tried to express that as much as he could, even when Sommy had gotten into Another fight and he had to go pick them up early from school again. Sommy liked just sitting with him because they felt like they didn't have to talk or say that everything was great.

Sister~

Ophelia Booker. She was 3 years older than Sommy, however, they both got along like they had known each other forever. They could talk to each other about all the stuff that had happened to them. Ophelia supported Sommy any way she could and Sommy did their best to lend a hand in Ophelia's cyborg rights activism. Even after they ran away, Sommy still donated to her cause every year. People would try to convince Ophelia that they were dead but she wouldn't listen and continued to look for Sommy for years. She was eventually rightfully pissed off when she found out they were still alive and had been hiding from her for years.

Cousin~

Connie “Void” Greenglass. Sommy and Void didn't really talk outside family get together's before Sommy disappeared. To be fair, Void was 3 years younger than them. However, they reunited after Sommy found them 7 years later. In that time, Void was working as a reporter, mostly writing fluff pieces, waiting for a big story. Sommy brought them the story of a criminal empire that had its fingers in almost every facet of the city. After minor convincing, Void agreed to write the story as long as they managed to dig up enough evidence. In their “investigation” time they saw more shit than they ever wanted. One of the worst times was when Sommy got their side ripped open by the guy they were supposed to be following. Void is a bit of a doormat and doesn't really call Sommy out on a lot of the shit they probably should. They also promise Sommy not to tell Ophelia about what they've been doing, which really does not go over well when Ophelia eventually finds out.

Friends~

Rinnah Iyver. Sommy and Rinnah don't get along due to their clashing personalities and the fact that Sommy's super annoying. Also due to the fact that Rinnah knows they’re involved with Endigo. Since her father was killed due to her mother’s inability to pay back her debt owed to Loorka, and her mother was in debt because of her drug addiction, Rinnah tends to blame the substance and anyone related to it. However, they both kind of have to get along because Sommy is best friends with Rinnah’s brother and Rinnah is dating Sommy's sister.

Cypher Nox. Sommy has a weird feeling around him, like someone’s scratching the back of their brain every time he talks, also they can't shake the feeling that he looks really familiar. Despite this they both get along well enough, often bonding over traumatic childhoods which Cypher is really cryptic about.

Viper Anguis. Sommy deemed Viper the “coolest” of the group. They often join him and Cypher for a drink. They also like to spar with him because he's a skilled hand to hand fighter due to his experience in an underground fight club.

Lacy Rosecrans. Sommy met her after hearing reports of weird mass mood fluctuations. After investigating the area they found Lacy, an anomaly with empathic abilities that she couldn’t control. Since she was one of the first anomalies Sommy had found at that point, and the most understanding and, well, normal, they bonded pretty quick, Sommy being like an older sibling to her. They both talk often and Sommy will do whatever is within their power to help her when she occasionally loses control over her abilities.

Asher Iravit. One of Void’s closest friends, after he told them about his ability to turn invisible, Void introduced him to Sommy. Ash is a bit too goofy for Sommy but they get along well, especially with having Void as a sort of buffer. He’s often called to “babysit” Sommy by Void when they’re especially worrying them.

Margot Mentior. She’s a counterfeiter who provides Sommy with passports, fake IDs, and other documents. They both met when she tried to ask Sommy out at a bar, after declining, Sommy and her began talking. They found out both their jobs were outside the law and Sommy did their best to warn her about Adelaide. Margot appreciated the advice and offered Sommy a discount if they ever needed her services. They stayed in contact and she is one of the few people Sommy trusts almost absolutely.

Best Friend~

Azariah Iyver. Sommy saved his life after he was attacked by a couple assholes. He lost an eye but probably have lost more if Sommy hadn't stepped in and kicked their asses. After recovering, Azzy realized he had never thanked the person who had saved his life. Using his computer skills and connection to other hackers, he tracked Sommy down. They didn't remember saving him and he didn't bring it up. They talked for a long time online. They told him about Adelaide and he convinced them to do something about her. Azzy is probably the only one who believes Sommy has the capability to change for the better.

Enemies~

Adelaide Creed. Originally Sommy viewed her as a parental figure. She taught them the ins and outs of the criminal business and started to groom them to be the second in command of her empire. After a while though, Sommy realized that she really wasn't as nice as she had originally seemed. They realized she was a monster. Adelaide had made Sommy her project and spent her time gaslighting and manipulating them into what she wanted.

Other~

Needlehands. He's a back alley monster doctor who does as much experimentation on his patients as he does actually fixing them. After his creator died, Needlehands tried to continue his work. He met Sommy when they were bleeding out from, what looked like, a half decapitation. He was amazed how they were still alive and patched them up. After finding out about their abilities, he just wanted to study them further. Needlehands made a deal with Sommy, he'd fix them up and help them out and they would let him look into what actually happened to them in regards to their abilities. After a while, Needlehands began to get really protective over them so now Sommy has a monster dad. He also helps Sommy research Endigo, its effects and a way to counter it.

Lewis “Trace” Harvey. He's a mediocre hacker employed by Adelaide. Sommy started blackmailing him to get him to do things for them. He's a disrespectful, insensitive asshole but Sommy has to put up with him if they want anything techy. However, after they meet Azzy they planned on killing Trace to make sure he didn't spill any info on them. Lucky for him, Void stepped in to watch him which they later regret.

Hydrea “Drea” Vannie. She is obsessed with Sommy, constantly trying to be their girlfriend. Too bad for her, Sommy absolutely despises her. They would love to kill her but Drea’s dad is a high ranking politician and she's also employed by Adelaide. Sommy assumes she was hired just to annoy them as Adelaide has said she finds her “very amusing”.

Johnny Clayborn. He also works for Adelaide and is one of the few people that genuinely scare Sommy. After he first got hired, Sommy was tasked to follow and observe his methods. Turns out he’s a cannibal that eats most of the people he kills and dissolves the rest. His love of zombies and weird, quiet nature really doesn’t help the unbelievably creepy vibe he gives off at all times. Sommy tried to hide the fact that he scared the piss out of them, especially when he kept inviting them for dinner.

Crushes~

none

Past Relationships~ none

Current Relationship~

none

Relationship Status~

single, forever

ღLifeღ

Birth/Infancy~ Sommy's birth parents were about as criminal as you could get. Involved in drug cooking, they were both hailed as geniuses due to their creation of a new drug, named Endigo. Taken as an adult, the side effects could vary from sleep paralysis type hallucinations to seizures. However, children exposed before birth and who have suffered traumatic events can develop brain anomalies leading to strange abilities and for some reason, strange eye color.

Childhood~ Sommy was involved in their parents' drug manufacturing, doing small tasks like packaging and the like as soon as they were able. They saw more than their fair share of shit during that time though they don't remember much. When they were 9, their parents were caught and arrested. Sommy seemed to be headed for an orphanage when they were adopted by a couple, the Bookers. Mrs. Booker was the Sergeant involved in the arrest of Sommy's birth parents. Along with new parents, Sommy now had a sister as well, Ophelia Booker, she was 2 years older than them. The Bookers did their best to take care of Sommy and help them recover. Teenhood~ Sommy was a handful as a teenager. They were rebellious and often lashed out at those around them because they didn't know what else to do. Their parents tried to curb this behavior by signing them up for fighting classes, hoping that they wouldn't have to fight other kids then. In this time Sommy's powers were also developing, though they keep this mostly to themself in fear of being seen as a freak, especially by their new family. They didn't want their irrational fear of being abandoned because of being so terrible to come through. At the age of 16, both Sommy's parents were killed in a home invasion gone wrong. They were out with their sister at the time. They always suspected there was more to it than that though. A lot of evidence just didn't add up. Infuriated by everything getting swept under the rug, Sommy ran away hoping to find out the truth. AdultHood~ After killing the man who was directly responsible for their parents' death, Sommy realized that they couldn't go back home to Ophelia like this. They viewed themself as a horrible person and was at a loss of what to do with their life. They felt like they didn’t deserve their adopted family’s love so they started using the Childs name again. Spiraling down, they started taking jobs as bodyguards for low lives and then that escalated to doing hit jobs. During that time, they made friends with a monster of a back alley doctor nicknamed Needlehands who did just as much experimentation on people as he did actually patching them up. Obviously, Sommy raised him up to be their father figure. They also fell into business with a woman named Adelaide Creed. She ran an empire on the backs of criminals, getting her hands on anything she could use to further her power and wealth. As more of a personal project, she warped Sommy's sense of purpose and self-image and gaslighted them until they couldn't remember the person they used to be. She wanted Sommy to be her successor, especially after finding out about their abilities. Eventually managing to snap out of the bloody haze they had been in for seemingly years, Sommy realized how much of a monster Adelaide really was. They decided they needed to tear her down from the inside. It was around this time that Sommy started to notice vague reports about kids with strange abilities. Realizing there were more people like themself, Sommy started looking for answers, eventually realizing it was their parent’s drug that was causing the anomalies. They took it upon themself to help these kids and keep them out of the government’s, or anyone’s radar. By blackmailing a chemist with reports of him falsifying results causing children's deaths, Sommy managed to get a sort of reverse version of Endigo that nullified abilities for a short while. They still had all their parents research that they had stolen years ago. Sommy killed the chemist after he gave them instructions on how to make the stuff. They then set out to help as many kids as they could because if they weren’t gonna do it who was? They also saw it as fallout from their parents, which fell on them to clean up.

OldHood~ Sommy continues to deal with the anomalies even after they outlive everyone they had known. Due to their healing ability, they can’t really die and just focus on moving forward and doing what they can.

[cosmosogler]

today i woke up on time!

i saw snoopy had pooped on the couch AND on the rug in front of the sink. so i shoved some in the sample thing and cleaned that up. then i worked out for over 20 minutes, and then i swam for about 10. i made 4 complete laps across the pool, which is... very big. then i showered and then i threw the blanket and rugs into the wash (snoopy’s gotten SOMETHING on all of them by now) and then i took the sample to the vet. getting there wasn’t too bad. i asked the tech at the counter some questions and she suckered me into buying a 20 dollar bottle of friendly cat smell.

the bus only comes once every hour on weekends so i sat at the bus stop and played pokemon and listened to a taz episode while i waited. i completed my taz episode right as i stepped off the bus near my apartment to walk home. then in the last minute of the walk, as soon as i reached the apartment property, the sky opened up and dumped on me. i sprinted to the building and that helped a little bit.

after that i was tired and it had taken about 2 hours to do what i thought would be an 80-90 minute job so i made some lunch. i lost my appetite a few bites in. i cleaned the apartment instead, and then i went grocery shopping. 

it always hurts to spend that much money at once but then i realize that this food keeps me going for over a week basically, and it would be more than twice as expensive to try to eat on campus every day. vegetarian-oriented items can get expensive... and the fresh fruit puts a hole in my wallet. but i do feel pretty good, or good enough. i don’t get stomachaches when i eat that stuff, but my body still seems to feel sick. 

the trip back from the grocery store was pretty intense! i got some really good practice at looking completely occupied and unwilling to let anyone get in my way. freshman-looking girls and boys parted for me on the sidewalk. i hurt my shoulder carrying the canvas bag. it doesn’t still really hurt, but it is kind of tender when i work the joint.

also for some reason my key wasn’t working on the back door to the building so i had to walk an extra block around the front and then all the way back around the outside to the back where the stairs/elevator are.

after that it was kinda late... i put on another taz and made my team for the pokemon competition. i got ROCKED in my first battle, and then my internet went out during the second battle so i kinda left it at that. i called mom and asked about the dogs and left instructions for my sister to find some gamecube games to send and that took a half hour. i also made a microwave dinner but it was kinda weird tasting and i was sad that it did not taste like actual pad thai at all. like it was a total airball on flavor there.

i opened a smaller window for snoopy and she loved it. and i took out the trash and recycling. i can’t seem to produce enough trash to fill a bag before it’s time for it to be taken out. i don’t mind that- it’s just a shame to be using the normal amount of bags for not a lot of trash.

instead of studying tonight i spent a lot of time training my pokemon and just listening to music and chilling. i combed through all the university’s clubs to look for a hobby that fits my schedule. looks like i’m going to check out the knitting club and maybe the creative writing club. let’s see if i can actually show my art to other people any more. i ain’t made no art in a long time, visual or writing.

i was kind of annoyed with myself for training pokemon but i couldn’t seem to stop. i’m just so tired after all the running around all day and pokemon is a nice thing to keep my hands busy when my brain can’t keep going any more. 

i also wanted to check out events for residents around town but the official gainesville event web site hasn’t updated in about four years. so that wasn’t a very good resource.

tomorrow i’m going to go to the physics department and study there. it’s a little easier (not easy, but... less hard) to stay focused in my office compared to my desk at home. partly because it’s a working place, but mostly because i can fit everything comfortably on the desk’s surface and it’s not too cluttered. i haven’t found a good place yet for a bunch of things that have found their home on my desk. since snoopy isn’t using the top of the little drawer any more i might put some stuff there...

snoopy’s starting to fill out a little more. her shoulders feel like a normal animal and not like a skeleton. and i’ve gotten a little better at brushing- short swipes like how cats groom themselves instead of body-length brushes. it doesn’t pick up nearly as much hair, but snoopy seems more comfortable with it.

she also seems to like to lounge where she has a good view of whatever she wants to look at. her bed is by the window and she only hangs out on the top perch of that. she also likes to sleep next to the washing machine with a clear view out past me at my desk into the hallway. and the top of my bed is high enough to see out of the little alcove into the kitchen/living room/window. the little shelf under my desk does not provide much to look at.

that was my day, basically, roughly. it’s weird how body tiredness and mind tiredness are not always in sync. right now both are tired, absolutely, but after my workout this morning really just my body was tired. and most of the time, only my mind is tired. when one is tired the other usually gets super restless. hence the fiddling with pokemon all evening.

i’m not really sure why i still keep losing my appetite. i guess i am pretty stressed... not as lonely with snoop around, but still kinda wanting more out of my conversations. i talk to snoopy but it’s mostly stuff that’s meant to be reassuring. at this point she might think her name is “good girl” haha. 

i think snoopy and i are a good match for each other personality wise. there’s some learning and adjusting behaviors happening of course but she’s very affectionate and i have a lot of affection to give. we’re also both kinda low-energy and fairly quiet.

she’s kind of like eve in that she loves pets and can’t get enough of a good scratch under the chin, but she doesn’t like cuddling at all. that’s fine with me. but it’s kind of funny because snoopy likes to perch on the couch’s arm and won’t let me help her balance with two hands so sometimes she ends up leaning into my hand and almost tipping off the couch. she probably would slip less if she had claws. 

oh, today she discovered that she can use the smaller couch to get up on my kitchenware shelves. she was poking my silverware with her nose. she’s pretty good about cutting it out when i use a more urgent tone of voice at least. or when i gently push her nose away from my food with the back of my hand. i wonder what she was like when she was younger.

anyway i guess i should get ready for bed. in my dreams last night i took a swim to the bottom of the ocean looking for a palace that was popping in and out of existence like there was some kind of static between it and reality. i caught a glimpse of it, toward the end, but the currents were too strong so i never really got anywhere near it.

[lunarmoonacnh]

i was tagged by the amazing @unhugme

Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag!

THE LAST… 1. Drink: diet coke

2. Phone call: my mum

3. Text message: my best friend telling him goodnight 

4. Song you listened to: Michael Jackson - Pretty Young Thing bc it was on the radio 

5. Time you cried: like last night or the night before coz it was 2am and life

HAVE YOU EVER… 6. Dated someone twice: ive barely even dated someone once lmao

7. Been cheated on: yup...

8. Kissed someone and regretted it: no i dont think so

9. Lost someone special: yes, my great grandpa

10. Been depressed: yes, im currently seeing a therapist 

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: yes! every time i drink unless its wine, for some reason wine doesnt make me sick. i think its because i once totally over did it on spirits and cider so not they just taste like the time i almost died and my body cant take it

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS:

12. grey

13. mint green

14. blush pink

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 15. Made new friends: yes, i started college so i made new irl friends because of that and i have also mad new internet friends through this blog 

16. Fallen out of love: kinda, depends how you look at it. i didnt know i had fallen out of love until the relationship had ended and i didnt feel as sad as i thought i would

17. Laughed until you cried: always, when i’m with my friends all i do is cry laugh 

18. Found out someone was talking about you: yes, it happens a lot, sometimes negative and sometimes positive 

19. Met someone who changed you: yes, for good and bad. 

20. Found out who your true friends are: yes, once i left school i knew who my real friends are because they are the ones who kept in touch and the ones who didnt do other things that they knew would hurt me

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yess

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: most, i dont know them all personally but i know of them all, no strangers for me

23. Do you have any pets: not at my house but we are getting our little puppy Sully in 14 days. i do have a cat and a dog at my dads house but i very rarely go visit 

24. Do you want to change your name: no, i used to want to when i was a kid because i used to get bullied because i had a ‘boys’ name (Billie) but now i like it because its unique  

25. What did you do for your last birthday: met my friends that i met on the internet that are now irl friends for a meal and to go shopping. we went for pizza and bowling and then shopping before they had to leave again:(

26. What time did you wake up: usually between 8am and 9am without an alarm 

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: i think i was actually sleeping for once if not i was watching youtube videos

28. Name something you cannot wait for: to get my puppy and to meet up with and have a party with my internet/irl friends again in summer

29. When was the last time you saw your mother: like 15 minuets ago befroe i came upstairs to do this

30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i wish i could control my anxiety and depression or even not have it at all. i also wish my dad would pay me more attention and want to see me more because i miss him and its almost like he forgets i was his first kind before he mt his new wife

31. What are you listening to right now: the 1975

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i mean i have a cousin name Thomas? but never someone just called Tom without it being shortened 

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: life? no but like the fact that im not allowing myself to do the things i want to do out of pure fear

34. Most visited website: Tumblr of course... it is never off my browser 

35. Elementary: ive honestly never wanted to go back to a time in my life more than i want to go back to elementary/primary school 

36. High School: no thanks to that. i wish i could have been one of the people that called it the best years of their lives not 5 years of asshole bullying me 

37. College/university: im commenting on this as England college (16-18 year olds) and ive just dropped out of one part (sixth from) where i was taking 3 subjects Media studies and Film studies which i loved and will miss and Psychology wich i did love but wont miss because i couldnt do it and it made my anxiety sky rocket. in september i start a makeup course and i am so excieted to be a qualified makeup artist this time next year

38. Hair colour: mousy brown

39. Long or short hair: long, like almost to my butt long (yes its natural)

40. Do you have a crush on someone: yes, but i could never pursue it bc he is my friend and i wouldnt want to ruin that. ive made that mistake with my ex.

41. What do you like about yourself: my eyes. they are grey and kinda ombre like they hae a really dark ring on the outside and they get lighter closer to my pupil

42. Piercings: yes, my first and second lobes on both ears, my helix and forward helix on my left ear. half way up my ear and my rook on my right ear and then my nose 

43. Blood type: i have no idea, do people actually know this?

44. Nickname: Bil and B although i dont like B (pronounced like Bee) but its what my cousins have called my since i was really small so it doesnt bother me that much with them 

45. Relationship status: extremely single

46. Zodiac sign: Aquarius 

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favourite TV show: pretty little liars, it has just finished and now i am re watching it to find clues about A that i missed 

49. Tattoos: no, but i have a couple planned 

50. Right or left hand: right

FIRST… 51. Surgery: teeth removed they are the only ops ive ever had and will ever have to have touch wood

52. Piercing: ears

54. Sport: i danced as a majorette does that count?

55. Vacation: i honestly have no idea, i think i went to Devon though (its a place in the UK) all i know is my first holiday was during 9/11 

56. Pair of trainers: probably like Nike Airs or something Adidas i have no idea 

57. Eating: i actually know this bc my older cousin fed me a wham bar (a british, i think, chewy candy thing) when i was 3 week old, so i could have died the ifrst time i hate lmao

58. Drinking: i was 14, i know i shouldnt have been drinking because my mum made me promise her i wouldnt, but i remember being so drunk (idk if it was real or faked tbh) on alcopop thats right 4% alcohol and i probs had like 3 

59. I’m about to: go get my cousins baby off his Nan so she can get his older brother from nursery

60. Listening to: idk if this is like asking the same as earlier? coz if so t]still the 1975

61. Waiting for: my friend to reply to me an tell me when he is taking me for coffee 

62. Want: my dog

63. Get married: probs idk

64. Career: i dont have one rn but hopefully a makeup artist

YOUR TYPE… 65. Hugs or kisses: rn hugs i need to hug someone while i fall to sleep so bad its been so long 

66. Lips or eyes: eyes

67. Shorter or taller: taller bc im also tall so i need someone taller than me (i dont need but i like a partner to be tall)

68. Older or younger: older, people y age are immature so any younger and i may as well spend my time with a 10 year old

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: i dont mind tbh

71. Sensitive or loud: both? not too loud though ya girl has sensitive ears 

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship, im demisexual (it took me 17 years to figure that out) so hook ups aren’t my thing

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: it depends because i tend to be the cause of arguments and things because im honest but im not out there to cause trouble i just dont like to lie

HAVE YOU EVER… 74. Kissed a stranger?: no

75. Drank hard liquor?: yes, dont do it, its bad kids

76. Lost glasses contact/lenses: yes, i lose my glasses all the goddamn time

77. Turned someone down: yes, i always feel bad but you cant force feelings

78. Sex on first date: nope

79. Broken someone’s heart: not that i know of, i doubt it though

80. Had your heart broken: yes, again not fun

81. Been arrested: nooo

82. Cried when someone died: yes

83. Fallen for a friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… 84. Yourself: not always

85. Miracles: yes, the baby i spoke about earlier? yeah hes my miracle, he was born with a new strain of meningitis, he has had 3 lots of brain surgery (at a week old) and the doctors said it was a very low chance he would survive. he did 3 times. his heart also stopped 3 times, again he is here. he also had multiple surgeries on his joints, we got told he wouldnt walk but here he is at 16 months running around like a crazy person and loving life with his older brother  

86. Love at first sight: i mean no, how can you fall in love with someone based off their face (no matter how many cute people you see on the street that you think you love, you probably dont)

87. Santa Claus: hes real in my house

88. Kiss on the first date: ive never been on a proper date so

89. Angels: yeah, i really love t believe in thse things because its cute

OTHER… 90. Current best friend’s name: im not saying their name coz idk if thats a good idea tbh

91. Eye colour: greyyy

92. Favourite movie: Tim Burtons Alice in Wonderland i just love his aesthetic and the story of Alice so put them together and you have a winner

ok i dont have 25 people to tag but i do tag @theflowerkingdom @kinkylildanny @creepyphantasia @imjustacanforallthephantrash and @dead-nightingale 

if you are reading this and you want to do it, go for it and just say i tagged you!

[itswhay]

you are going to hate me but... 1-100 :>

lmAo okay... 

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

Cereal 

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

yes actually 

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

shoe laces and ripped paper 

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

sweet as fuck 

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

I never smile w my teeth so I guess 

6: do you keep plants?

I gave a lil succ named John Stamos 

7: do you name your plants?

^^^^^

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

Photography ? I guess I also write on a p blog everyday 

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

yeah ig

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

side 

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends?

you wouldn’t get it 

12: what's your favorite planet?

Saturn 

13: what's something that made you smile today?

This girl said my outfit was cute 

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

cozy 

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

All of space is completely silent 

16: what's your favorite pasta dish?

probs anything w cheese and tomatoes and ground beef 

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

I dont lmao #beentheredonethatoverit

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

Nothing im perfect lmaooooooooo 

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

yeeeeeee and none ya fckn biz... but like for real I write about my day in detail and how im currently feeling about people bc I forget things really easily and I want to remember my life ????? 

20: what's your favorite eye color?

i don have one all y’alls eyes are beaut

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

I have like this embroidery elephant bag that got at a festival when I first moved to colorado 

22: are you a morning person?

lmao no 

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

I like to sit on the back porch on the couch and drink coffee and nap 

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

yes @ daron 

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into?

my own house damnnn gurrlll willldddd

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

currently pink hightop converses but the shoes I had for the longest time was a pair of purple low tops 

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor?

PoLaR iCe 

28: sunrise or sunset?

Sunrise 

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

lmao ummmmm Nicole holds your hand when you sit near her 

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

lmao yea 

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

I nEVer sleep in socks. But like socks are sick, never only wear white socks 

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

lots of things that if im being honest i dont feel like reminiscing about rn bc im tired  

33: what's your fave pastry?

muffins 

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

I had this GiaNT mouse I mean lik e it was huge 

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

I love... I write letters and postcards to people 

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now?

Probs Elvis like always 

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

I like it clean but usually it messy

38: tell us about your pet peeves?

People hiding things, acting like a different person than who they are, being a bad friend bc you want to seem cool to someone else 

39: what color do you wear the most?

Pink and Black prob

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you?

yeah boi The longest amethyst pendant I wear my grandma gave me, the shorter one my mom gave me. I used to have this moon necklace I would wear literally everyday and was very important to me but I lost it at a show and Im still sad about it  

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving?

Joel Grey’s book 

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

Mutiny !!! its really sick and there mochas are so good and they have good heckin shows (also im obvi a starbucks bitch so...) 

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

myself bitch I tell the moon to protect my loved ones every nite 

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

On the beach in Savannah like pls take me back  

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

100%

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

Imagine if you would hit the clock in the morning and the clock would hit you right back. -I think it would be truly alarming. 

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

Ketchup 

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

Needles and yea 

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

Cds uhhhh last was probs placebo 

50: what's an odd thing you collect?

Musiclas on VHS 

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

person not named -- song: hold on to me placebo 

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

the blinky guy

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

lmao yea they good 

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

I heard it in there voice too and it was last week and It hurts to see someone so sad 

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point?

well i can say that I did not join the frisbee team to prove a point 

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

lmao being nice and happy at least some of the time passionate about things and seeks to be happy and fulfilled 

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

yeah but also that song makes me sad 

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

Im both fuck me up 

59: what's your favorite myth?

my love life *that weird drum sound thng when some1 makes a joke* 

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

yeah 

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received?

to tired to answer this 

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

orange 

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

leave em be 

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

dark 

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with?

yeah I was supposed to see zack but then it fell through so that should happen soon 

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

d a i s i e s 

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

I like it 

68: what's winter like where you live?

bad gross cold snow 

69: what are your favorite board games?

clue 

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

nah son dont fuck w that shit 

71: what's your favorite kind of tea?

rasberry 

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it?

yea 

73: what are some of your worst habits?

got lots of them 

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

They are small short fuckn nerd but 

75: tell us about your pets!

I l o v e them 

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't?

sleeping > 

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

pink 

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

I hate those yeloow bitches 

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

ew

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

theres like this giant mountain mural... mountians... just mean,,,, so... much to me, lmao no we rent  

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

pine tree w golden light shining through 

82: are/were you good in school?

this semester im doing pretty good 

83: what's some of your favorite album art?

lmao idfk 

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

yea a tcb in new mexico 

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

yea wonder women ones like the old ones 

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

?????

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

Boy meets girl (my heart ) and girl happy 

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

im s o tired im sorru 

89: are you close to your parents?

yea 

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

Savannah 

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

lots of places actually 

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

drowns 

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most?

short and out of the way 

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

Carla

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

work and I have a thing on sunday 

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

i ignore them 

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

idr aquarius im slytherin  

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

yes i did 

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

nooooooo 

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

neither thats a horrible question live life in the present and understand that each day is different and you should just enjoy what you can of them :)))

you right i do kinda hate u but its ok