#sad jonsa fic

[jonsaslove]

Angst, angst, angst! You've been warned.

@jonsa-halloween

[nessataleweaver]

FIC: By right of blood (Game of Thrones)

RATING: PG

FANDOM/PAIRING: Game of Thrones; Jon/Sansa (implied)

SUMMARY:  Robb Stark’s return to Winterfell has been a long time coming.  But to his dismay, his homecoming is not the welcome he expects.

NOTE: show!verse, but the Red Wedding went slightly differently. It also diverts Sansa’s canon storyline at the same point it’s still currently stuck at in the books, with her in the Vale posing as Alayne Stone. I actually expanded this from a WIP I never got around to finishing back in 2020, so the jonsa is only implied here; let me assure you it’s quite real though.

PROMPT: for jonsa-halloween for their 2024 event, using the October 29th prompt  ‘Came back wrong!’ In this story, that can be taken several ways...

This story can also be read on AO3

Robb Stark, King in the North, couldn’t hold back a sigh as the imposing view of Winterfell broke over the horizon.

He’d been away too long.

“Is that Winterfell?” Talisa asked quietly, from her seat in the carriage that rolled beside Robb’s horse.

“Yes,” Robb nodded happily.  “I have to warn you, I don’t know what shape it’ll be in.  I haven’t been back since before the Ironborn attacked.  Roose Bolton recommended his bastard as castellan, but given that we now know he was behind what happened at Uncle Edmure’s wedding...”

Robb bit his lip to hold back un-Kingly tears.  The only reason Robb, Talisa, and the child that swelled her belly like a full moon were alive was because of his mother’s suspicions - and her sacrifice.  Along with many of Robb’s bannermen, she’d died during what was already being called ‘the Red Wedding’.  Robb had managed to bring home most of the bannermen’s bodies, but he’d left his mother’s remains in a burning boat in the Trident, like her Tully ancestors before her.  Robb and Talisa had already agreed that their first daughter would be named in tribute.

Robb’s first hint that perhaps he wasn’t as well-informed on the state of affairs as he should have been came when he saw Winterfell up close. 

It was... perfect.  There was no sign that the seat of the Starks had ever been attacked, except for a few fading scorch marks here and there on the walls.  It was better than perfect – the Broken Tower had even been repaired.

The second hint was when Beth Cassel came to meet him, wearing a Yi Ti-styled tabard bearing the Stark crest. She swept a graceful, exquisitely correct curtsey.

“As the steward of Winterfell, I greet you, King in the North.” With a respectful nod to Talisa, she added, “and his Queen Consort.”

His third hint came when she offered them bread and salt.

* - * - * - *

Robb was furious, and only barely hiding it.  This was only tempered by an ever-increasing sadness, accompanied by an also-ever-increasing feeling of trepidation.

Talisa had been ensconced in a set of beautifully furnished rooms that Beth had told them had been designated for them whenever they cared to visit, and would be called the Royal Suite in their honour.

It was in the guest quarters.  Not the family wing. Alongside those offered to the few bannermen who’d accompanied him to Winterfell, the rest who’d survived the war peeling off from his entourage to return to their own homes, eager to put matters into place for the approaching of winter.

Robb didn’t recognise a single person in the halls besides Beth.  Every enquiry he made about a member of staff he remembered from before he left received one of two responses:

“He/she died fighting the Iron-Born.”

Or the even more popular “He/she was killed by the Bolton bastard.”

The only exception was Mikken; when Robb had glimpsed a tall, strong youth who oddly reminded him of Robert Baratheon in the smithy, Beth had remarked to Robb’s joy that Gendry had made his way to Winterfell on Arya’s recommendation.

“We don’t know where she is currently, but we’re sure she’s alive.”

This had been followed by a dismal variation on a depressingly familiar refrain.

“Mikken was crippled by the Bolton bastard, so he’s instructing Gendry further while he supervises the smithy, now that the rebuilding is done.  We still have a lot of preparation to do for winter, including expanding the glass houses both here and at Weeping Water castle.”

“Wait - Weeping Water Castle?” Robb knew the Weeping Water river, of course, but wasn’t that right next to-

“The former Dreadfort, your grace.  With Roose dead at your hand for his betrayal, and his Frey wife and last remaining legitimate child slaughtered by his bastard, everyone thought that it was only fitting that the bastard’s wife be awarded the Bolton holdings as recompense for her suffering, and to keep anyone who might have supported the Bolton’s out of the seat.  Even Lady Dustin agreed.” 

“But who is she?”

“The former Jeyne Poole.  The Bolton bastard married her, claiming she was Lady Arya, in order to strengthen his claim on Winterfell.  We’ll need you to confirm her in the position before you leave, as well as confirm that she can hold it under her maiden name.  Given that she’s highly likely to die childless, Lady Jeyne will probably ask you to designate one of your children as the heir.”

With that surprising comment, Beth opened the side door to the Great Hall.  “Please excuse me not announcing you with due heraldry, your grace, but Lady Sansa is in the middle of the Day of Judgment and Appeals.  We prefer not to interrupt the hearings.  I’ll announce you as soon as the current hearing is done.”

Robb stood and watched as Sansa, in an elaborately carved rosewood chair placed on the bare dais where the family tables sat during feasts, presided over the people of Winterfell as if she were a queen. A very good one.  Beth had cleverly avoided answering any questions about what Sansa was doing in Winterfell instead of King’s Landing, and Robb found his curiosity burning almost as hotly as his anger.

Less than ten minutes later, Robb Stark, heir to Winterfell and King in the North found himself standing before his younger sister feeling like a supplicant, trying not to puke at the detailed list of what Roose Bolton’s bastard had done to his people.  Trying to digest the news that his silly little sister, who spoke of nothing but songs, sewing, and suitors, had stolen his rightful place from under him while he’d been avenging their father’s murder.

"I am Lord of Winterfell, and King in the North!" Robb thundered, his voice echoing off the stone walls of their ancestors.

"Yes, you are King in the North, by right of acclamation," Sansa agreed.  "You were chosen as such by your bannermen." Then her expression turned to mirror-blank ice, and her voice became harsh as the depths of winter.  "But you are no longer Lord of Winterfell.  You lost Winterfell to the Ironborn.  You lost it because you trusted Theon, and he betrayed us all. He murdered our brothers, leaving me as the rightful heir.  Then you gave permission for the Boltons to take it.  You approved of that monster coming to Winterfell. You allowed that monster to torture and slaughter it's people.

"So I did what you were too busy elsewhere to do.  I took back our home.  I made an alliance with our cousin Robin Arryn; I brought warriors from the Vale and I freed the people here from death and terror.  Winterfell is mine, by right of conquest.  It's people support my right of blood.  I am the Stark in Winterfell now, and so I shall remain.  After all, I'm the only other candidate. And I have the support of our only remaining family."

Robb looked at her incredulously.  "Wait - Jon?  You went to the Night's Watch?"

A shadow moved from behind Sansa's chair, and Robb nearly jumped out of his skin.  It took several heartbeats for him to recognise the black curls and pallid face.

"Jon? What are you doing here? Why aren't you at the Wall?"

Jon reached for the neck of his black leather jerkin, and slowly unfastened it.  He wore no shirt underneath, and Robb stared in utter shock - not at his scandalously bare chest, but the several livid, still blood-red scars.

How could any man have taken a blade to the heart and live?

"My Watch has ended," Jon told him solemnly, as he re-fastened his clothing.  "I serve the Lady of Winterfell, now."

He laid his hand on Sansa’s shoulder... and something dark in the back of Robb’s mind recognised it as a touch of possession rather than simple support. The Sansa that Robb knew would have shrugged off any physical contact from Jon with a scandalised look.  This Sansa leaned into it.  Jon had always been pale, but now the skin of his hand looked downright ghostly in contrast to the deep blue of Sansa’s gown, the sparkling wolf emblazoned across her chest seemed to dance as she reached up to place her hand on top of his.

"Unfortunately, Winterfell is still being repaired from being sacked twice in as many years, so the King in the North will have to make his royal seat elsewhere, I'm afraid.  Might I suggest Moat Cailin?  It's location is highly strategic, and it's one of the few holdfasts where you won't have to rob a noble family of their home in order to take it for yourself.”

Robb looked around the assorted people in the Great Hall, and realised that he was surrounded not simply by Winterfell’s people, but Sansa’s congregation.  Judging by some of the glares, if he raised a single word of objection or insult to Sansa, he might not make it back to the Royal suite alive.

He would be able to do nothing to regain Winterfell until he left it.

Sansa continued, her voice cool and soft as snow, “I negotiated with the Iron Bank for the funds to rebuild and make the needed improvements, but if you wish to do the same, you’ll have to send your own representative.  I’m happy to provide a letter of introduction to ease their way.  I’m sure you can ask our Tully relatives to help, or leverage your wife’s dowry as security.  After all, you had all the same teachings about marrying to the benefit of House Stark that I did; I’m sure you knew better than to spend one of your most important political assets on a bride who could bring nothing of benefit to our House.”

“And what of your own husband?” Robb snarled.  “I hardly think the sons and daughters of the North will enjoy being ruled by the Lannister Dwarf.”

Sansa’s eyes glittered like icicles.  “You refer to the marriage made under the Seven in a Sept, not by a weirwood by blessing of the Old Gods?  A marriage I was forced into by threat of a sword through the back, before my courses were regular enough for me to be deemed fertile?  That marriage was without my permission, or the permission of my parents or guardian, and unconsummated.  I have already applied for it to be set aside by the Church of the Seven.  Given that my husband is currently under sentence of death for kin-slaying and regicide, I don't think there will be much objection, even if I do not become a virgin widow by the time my application is judged.  Though since half the northern nobility have died in a war you lost by not keeping your breeches fastened, the available candidates for my husband are limited.”

Sansa gave a long look at Jon, standing devotedly by her side.  “Who knows?  The Lady of House Mormont states all her daughters were fathered by a bear, and they are acknowledged by all as her heirs.  Perhaps mine will be fathered by a wolf?

“I suggest you act quickly, my King.  Winter is coming... and very soon.”

AFTERWORD: Robb quickly realised that most of his own support literally died off in the War of the Five Kings.  He never got around to doing anything about Moat Cailin; Robb lost heart after Talisa died in the aftermath of childbirth, followed very swiftly by needing to present a united front for Daenerys Targaryen, deciding that the War for Dawn was more important. He did at least manage joyful reunions with Arya, Bran and Rickon. While Jon got to kill the Night King (otherwise what was that stupid prophecy even for?) Robb still managed to die as a legendary hero, becoming the only Stark to die by dragonfire after shoving a sword through Daenerys to save Jon from kin-slaying. There was just enough left to bury in the crypts at Winterfell, complete with crown. 

Sansa was formally crowned as his successor, the first Queen in the North, with the support of all her siblings. She orchestrated a new golden age for the Kingdom of the North, becoming known as ‘Sansa the Glorious’. Jon finally gained the Stark name as her Prince Consort, choosing to forego the title ‘King’ so no one would get any ideas about Sansa not being the one in charge.

Robb’s daughter Catelyn grew up in Winterfell surrounded by loving family, including lots of cousins always ready to fight anyone who insulted her foreign heritage. As a young teen, Catelyn volunteered to give up any right to the throne in what she saw as atonement for Robb’s mistakes that gave the Boltons the opportunity to cause so much harm. Jeyne Poole instantly demanded to adopt Catelyn as her heiress.  Catelyn became so highly regarded in the North that she ended up holding a tournament to decide her husband out of a dozen worthy suitors from the North, the Vale, the Riverlands and even one of the Tarly’s, becoming ruling matriarch of the Starks of Weeping Water. She later started what was to become the first school in the North devoted solely to the healing arts, open to anyone regardless of birth or gender.  Now called The Talisa Stark School of Medicine, it still operates today.

[esther-dot]

I miss Jonsa so much but I miss the fandom so much more. I missed the emotion of coming to tumblr and always finding theories of what would happen next, great authors writing brilliant fics, just people enjoying art and talking about it for so many years. There were chat groups and so many ways to share your theories and analysis time and time again. Even when season 7-8 aired and we suffered and got frustrated and sad together.... it was wonderful it was a shared experience but now there are really few people still in the fandom and it's just sad that now feels so lonely when it used to be my comfort place.

I’m so sorry you feel that way, anon! I chose to leave the one jonsa discord I was part of not long after joining it, so I don’t feel quite the same sense of loss, although I sympathize with your feelings of bereavement. The tags aren’t as active as they once were, but considering how much we hated how they wrote Jon and how long ago GoT ended, I think our fandom does a remarkable job in still finding things to talk about. We still occasionally get new art (lovely, gorgeous, pls we are not worthy more here), we still have active fic writers (a writer of all AUs, modern AUs, on a crime and horror kick, historical and canon-verse AUs, so many more authors -fic tag!), and we even still get new gifsets and so many parallels!

I understand it isn’t the same, your favorite writer may have left the fandom, there isn’t a constant flow of new content, but it makes me even more grateful for those who still do attempt to contribute to the fandom, by creating or by encouraging those who do, by simply reblogging or leaving a comment or sending an ask. It will never be the same, but still find so much joy in our little corner of the fandom.

Also, the announcement of the Jonsquel has some show fans occasionally poking their heads in, so when we get a release date for that, I think there are a lot of people ready to get the buzz again! If you want to dm, I’ll happily chat about GoT with you, or feel free to send asks with headcanons etc. Many of us still enjoy talking about jonsa even if we aren't spontaneously overflowing with ideas!

[cellsshapedlikestars]

"Ryan finally had a girlfriend that actually thought about him!!“ yes absolutely! I didn’t *hate* Marissa but I really disliked the Marissa/Ryan ship, they weren’t right together. Never even thought about it but it makes so much sense that you come from a The OC background.

The way you write modern Jon reminds me so much of Ryan (LOVE IT). So interesting that you tried to rework one of your existing fics into a Jonsa fic. I would honestly love a fic with some OC vibes. The only The OC Jonsa fic I’ve read was one where Sansa was put into Marissa‘s role and it did NOT fit. Thinking about it, Sandy and Kirsten Cohen definitely give off Ned and Cat vibes!

Also Happy Birthday!

I used to hate Marissa a lot, but I was younger then (it didn't help that the other people in my fandom vitriolically hated her lol). I can look back now and realize that Marissa was, unfortunately, the writer's favorite toy to create new drama, at the expense of her character.

And unlike almost every other character, she just wasn't fun for me (I will say, Seth sometimes bordered on too much for me, but usually he was fine). Like did Julie do terrible things? Sure, but oh boy when she showed up in a scene, I knew it would be a good time. I would rather watch her than Marissa any day of the week. Marissa would just suck the energy out of everything for me. But maybe that's a product of my old fandom, and I'd feel differently watching it now. I haven't rewatched in ages, tbh.

And I will say, I liked Marissa at the end of season 3! Because they were just wrapping up her character so she wasn't starting shit and she was actually just fun like she should've been the entire time. And they acknowledge that she & Ryan were toxic together, and better off as long distance friends. So when the time comes for her death, I'm actually sad!

I tried not to be too mean to Marissa in my fics... towards the end. Though I did write a one shot about her murdering Ryan lmaoooo. That's strictly on my livejournal... I think it's still there?

As for a Jonsa OC fic.... I've had one half written basically since I started writing fic again.

Ryan - Jon Trey - Aegon Sandy - Ned Kirsten - Cat Seth - Arya?

But there's where it sort of fails, because who is Sansa? Is SHE Seth? Where does she come in, unless I make her not related to the Cohen/Stark family. Or do I get rid of Kirsten/Cat, make her married to Jimmy/some other dude, and have Sansa as her daughter with Arya as Ned's?

Omg this got so long, but I'll include what I have written below the cut, which is literally just the opening scene, so don't get too excited lol.

The OC AU

They approach the car like it's prey, ducked down, creeping.

“I'm your big brother. If I don't teach you this, who will?" With that, Egg smashes out the window, the sound loud and echoing in the quiet alley. He opens the door and gets in, but Jon hesitates, looks over his shoulder towards the main road.

"Quit being a little bitch. Get in!"

And so Jon does, because he always does what Egg says. Just as he's about to get in the passenger side, it happens – a cop car rolls by on the main street, and Jon's heart lurches in his chest, but it passes.

And then it backs up.

“Come on!” Egg shouts, laughing and reckless. “Let's go, Jon!”

Jon slides into the passenger side and slams the door shut behind him, heart racing a mile a minute as Egg hotwires the car and gets it started, as the police cruiser turns down the alley.

And then they're off.

Down the street and out into the open, Egg pushing the throttle as hard as it can go, even on the small streets of Wintertown. Jon sits with one hand gripping the door handle, the other braced out in front of him on the dash.

“You should see your face, man,” Egg laughs, mouth wide, teeth glinting in the streetlights – sharp and dangerous. That same, reckless laughter Jon remembers from their father.

Sirens wail behind them and Jon knows this is it. This is where he finally dies, this is where everything catches up with him. At an intersection, Egg runs a red light, has to swerve to avoid an oncoming car.

“No, no, no, no,” Jon chants, shutting his eyes and bracing for impact. He doesn't know what they hit, just that he's thrown forward, the airbag slamming into his chest, the sound of crunching metal and squealing tires and sirens.

He feels groggy and weak as his eyes open, bright lights flashing and making him wince.

"Hands up! Get them up!" someone shouts. The police. "Hands on the dash where I can see them!"

For just a moment, Jon thinks about running. Pushing open the door, leaving Egg, and going as fast as his legs will take him. But his chest aches and his lungs burn and his head is spinning and so instead, he puts his hands up.

[this-acuteneurosis]

Random. But do you have any star wars fic recs ? Fics recs of any kind are welcome actually ^_^

Oh, uh, sure.

Let's see, I've mentioned @chancecraz a bunch of times, I love all their stuff, if I had to pick a favorite I'd say Of Queens, Knights, and Pawns but how does one really choose?

I've also mentioned @fialleril and Double Agent Vader, which really got me into the SWs fandom in the first place. I love everything I have ever learned, it hits me so hard in the feels each time. (I also really loved Sigyn's Saga if we're also talking not-SW stuff.)

I enjoyed The Desert Sun series by @blue-sunshine-mauve-morning. (I will be honest, I have only read the first series I have not started Rise and Fall.) It's engaging and fun and thoughtful.

doing it by my lonesome and staring down the barrel of the hot sun by magneticwave are two fun Luke/Din stories featuring appropriately cute Grogu. I also liked pages filled with scribbled ink, which is an epistolary Padmé/Obi-Wan fic that had me cackling. (their non-SW stuff is good too, I especially enjoyed just me against the sky)

Other...serious(?) recs include: The Wingless Dragon by husborth if you like being sad and horrified about Vader's bad choices. Food Scandal by Malicean for some situational hilarity and for lots of OC perspective on Imperial bureaucracy (my other weakness aside from politics). PRojects IN Controlled Environments by Beth Winters for Imperial R&D bureaucracy, more situational hilarity, and very relatable coworker nonsense.

More silly/fun premises include: Compromising by samvelg, which inspired me to write a (very different) Piett POV of Luke and Vader nonsense. Memo: Jedi Maintenance (The Care and Feeding of Your Jetii) by RainofLittleFishes is exactly what it says and what you would hope for from such a title. Luke Skywalker is Altogether Too Likeable by Mokulule is another Piett POV of Skywalker nonsense.

As far as Non-Star Wars recs

It would be a crime and sin if I didn't mention Embers by Vathara , an Avatar the Last Airbender fic which honestly changed my life and how my brain was shaped.

World Ain't Ready by @idiopathicsmile is a Les Mis fic I've gone back to a few times. The dialogue is just really good. I spend a lot of the fic laughing, and also screaming at the characters.

I fell absurdly in love with Second person familiar, I think because it tickles some part of me that just dies over linguistics, and I'm a fan of pretty much everything @jackironsides has done for The Witcher.

Salvage by @muffinlance is a very fun Avatar the Last Airbender fic about Zuko getting reluctantly adopted by Hakoda (it's so good).

Finding the Line by Miss_Lazy_Tuesday is a Batfam fic that sort of ruined me at one point, it's fine. (I enjoy their other stuff too.)

The Angel of Hell's Kitchen by MarbleGlove is a Daredevil fic. I don't really go here, but this was about social structures, bureaucracy, and doing the work, and we all know I can't help myself.

Reconstruction by rageprufrock is the story of Stephanie Rogers, but like, it's Pru writing it. So. Characters are great. World building is great. Tension and longing and grief are great. I cannot stress enough how good the academic and news article asides are. Like, it's good. Incomplete, but so good.

Ordinary Numbers by BootsnBlossoms and Kryptaria, a James Bond fic that I keep coming back to because I too would be a sucker for someone who sent me needlessly expensive gifts.

And This, Your Living Kiss by opal_bullets is a Supernatural fic about poetry. I am not in this fandom, but again, my weakness for language gets me every time.

ever fallen in love (on national TV)? by ganymede_elegy is a GoT Jonsa modern Bachelor AU and...guys I cannot express how much I Do Not Go here, and how much I still recommend this fic. Like, it's just...I don't know. It worked. In spite of me knowing nothing about GoT or The Bachelor. wtf

survival of the fittest by cywscross is a short Naruto fic about a very unpleasant adventure for Sakura and Shikarmaru that just...worked. As a story. Dunno, I just really like it.

I could be wrong, I could be ready by harryromper is a Harry/Draco fic where they are disasters and traumatized, and it is about healing and building houses as a metaphor for overcoming trauma, and it's fine, I'm fine.

eternity will be born from hope by theseviolentdelights99 is a Yuri!!! on Ice fic that is about a time traveling Yuuri who (you'll never guess) goes back in time and does bureaucracy in his hometown and his sport to help the people that he loves. The unreliable narrator is excellent, the social media asides are wonderful, and it's not complete but it is exactly my poison.

(Wow, this is so long and all over the place...)

[kingsansa]

I really love your fanfics, especially "tear it with your teeth" and "Illegally Yours", you have a great writing style. But I don't read only one fic of yours and I won't, it's unpleasant for me and frankly it's a pity and very sad that something related to russia (they are murderers and terrorists) could inspire you to write something about Jonsa.

I was inspired by the (admittedly white) melting pot of culture in the NHL. As a result, the Starks became Canadian, the Greyjoys became French Canadian, the Tully’s and Baratheons became American, the Wildling characters became Swedish, etc.

I’d done some research on the closest real life equivalent to Valyrian as a language (structure and sound wise) and I came up with Ancient Greek, Lithuanian, and Russian. So the targs became Valyrian-Russian, as there are many Russian hockey players in the league. Several of these players are staunchly anti war, but only two players (that I’ve seen) have spoken out publicly. One of them wished to remain anonymous, implying that he was concerned for the safety of his family back home.

This story is not an endorsement of the Russian government. Jon plays for Canada in the Olympics (though this is not an endorsement of their government either.) Just like in canon, the Targs consider themselves Valyrian before anything else. They are wealthy outsiders, still clinging to their former glory as nobles several generations ago. Still, I see where you’re coming from and I don’t begrudge you your reservations. Thank you for messaging me respectfully.

[justadram]

I am very excited to hear that the next chapter is getting along! I reread the whole fic before diving into the chapter you posted a few days ago and I can't wait to see how it continues.. with slight apprehension. At the same time, I'm also kinda sad cause I don't want to see the story end! But hopefully there will be more jonsa stories from you in the future! Here's to another decade of jonsa stories from you ;)

Thank you for the reread! I'm always a little sad to say goodbye to a fic too, but I have three Jon x Sansa fics either planned or partially written, so there will definitely be more following on the heels of this one. <3

[brydeswhale]

My Giant Anti-Jonsa Hate Post, AKA why a person might not ship Jonsa other than hating Sansa :P

I'm warning you ahead of time, this is mostly me rambling. I'm not smart. Lots of smart people you can read, go read them.

So, I've noticed this tendency amongst some Jonsa shippers to sort of dismiss any criticism as Sansa-hate. Sometimes they are actually correct, some people only read ASOIAF in order to see Jon as a typical hero and any female character as simply the reward Jon gets for being a hero, which is so weird. There is a similar feeling that the biggest reward a female character can get is Jon's dick, so, um, yeah.

Having said that, I have a lot of reasons not to ship Sansa with Jon outside of how my ego feeds into my reading. I have read pics with them as the pairing, tbh, if you're a Sansa fan you kind of get pulled into it just because it's so hard to find ANY fics where Sansa gets treated decently that I just treat Jon in those fics as an original character.

I will now list my non-jonsa feels, in no particular order.

I do not believe the text supports it.

A lot of smart people have dug through the text and pointed to what they believe are clues. I'm not going to go through all of these because some of them are, IMO, a reach so far that the proponents have hired a gibbon to do the reaching.

One of those that kind of makes me super perplexed is the whole Jonnel/Sansa thing. Shippers will point to that as some kind of sign that their ship will sail, but honestly, I do not think so. Or at least, I hope it's not a portent of Jonsa.

Jonnel Stark and his plot line with the original Sansa seem to have more in common with the modern story of Alys Karstark and her flight from her uncle and cousin, who attempted to usurp her claim to Karhold by forcibly marrying her.

That is to say, it's a dark, sad story, made all the worse by the fact that Sansa eventually died, and she and Jonnel never had issue. In fact, Jonnel didn't have kids with his second wife, either. Possibly divine punishment for usurping and marrying his niece, IMO.

Most of the other "Jonsa" foreshadowing, I'm sorry to say, seems similar to that, basically. Either it's a sort of retelling of a completely different event happening in the present, or it's a sort of a weird, long reach. Like the idea that the comet is meant to foreshadow Jonsa, which is, honestly, so weird it's laughable, or pointing to times that Jon has complimented Sansa's looks. Some people even try to fit the Bael the Bard story to Jonsa.

It doesn't seem to fit with the how the text treats incest, in my opinion.

Much is made of the show's revelation that Jon and Sansa, despite being raised as and considering each other siblings, are biologically cousins, what with the revelation that Rhaegar kidnapped a teenaged Lyanna Stark and murdered her through reproductive abuse. For a lot of people this makes the incestuous aspect of the text "not count"(which is annoying for other reasons I will discuss later).

I just don't think "they're actually cousins" really works here, either, though.

GRRM sort of seems to use incest as kind of a shorthand for corruption. The Targaryens are the main example, their inbreeding a symbol of their incapacity as humans, and Craster is a giant screaming red flag but there are other incestuous marriages that seem to operate as symbols for the people involved, most notably the elder Lannister and Stark marriages.

The marriage of Tywin Lannister is an interesting sort of backdrop for the Lannister family as a whole. Joanna is often regarded, in both fandom and the series itself, as a sort of softening influence, a better version of Cersei, the true queen of Casterly Rocks, whose relationship with Tywin was very normal and healthy.

However, when examining Tywin Lannister's serious case of narcissism, I find it very unlikely that he would be capable of anything resembling normal in a marriage. It seems likely to me that his love of Joanna was more likely based on the same thing Cersei and Jaime's relationship was based on, AKA a damaged, narcissistic monstrosity. The marriage, IMO, was based on the fact that Tywin was attempting to emulate the elitist principles of the Targaryens. Only a Lannister could match a Lannister, in other words.

Then we examine the children of this incestuous union. I don't think its a coincidence that Cersei, Jaime, and Tyrion are as fucked up as they are. The example they have of a relationship is fucked up and incestuous, so it wasn't surprising that the twins emulated it. And Tyrion being Tyrion is also not shocking. Joanna may have demanded a place for him, but how much of that was motivated by love, and how much by a similar narcissism to Tywin and Cersei's, the idea of the child as the extension of the self.

But, @brydeswhale , I hear you say, because I have audio processing disorder, what about the Starks?

Well, tbh, I'm pretty sure the Lyarra/Rickard thing being incestuous was an afterthought, another way to mirror the Lannisters, but I do not think they're intended to be an example of incest done right. Rickard had some pretty weird obsessions of his own, if certain people are to be believed, and Lyarra is a near non-entity.

And while their kids seem to be, well, less fucked up than the Lannisters, it's still worth noting that two of the four are dead, of the two survivors, one dedicated himself to ensuring his family's full isolation from the rest of the country and the other joined a penal colony full of slave soldiers dedicated to what amounts to a border patrol that, whatever its origins, seems intent on enforcing an economic and cultural barrier to a random set of ethnic groups beyond the Wall, so good job there.

And even when Brandon and Lyanna were alive, well, no fault to Lyanna, she seems like a good kid, but Brandon was apparently an antagonistic dick and, well, he doesn't seem to have been very respectful of women.

Incest almost seems like a code in GRRM for "something is very wrong here and it won't end well, even for the innocents" and I just don't see him choosing to go against that.

As an incest survivor, the lightness with which the Jonsa fandom treats that aspect of it is messed up.

I don't tend to talk too much about my past as a CSA survivor, but yeah, there is it is. It kind of weirds me out, DOESN'T trigger me, just weirds me out, how casually the ASOIAF fandom treats incest bc, um, yeah, its not really casual. I feel like GRRM treats it with a great deal of gravitas, but fandom kind of skips over it, which is weird.

The "Real" siblings stance is obnoxious

There exists, within fandom, a tendency to devalue families outside the biological family.

It's not specific to ASOIAF, don't get me wrong. It's the same thing that had people giggling over Thor's defensive "he's adopted" or talking about which Robin is "the real son". It also lends itself to pairing in those fandoms based on those same ideas. It's not incest, after all, if they're not really related?

This might seem like small potatoes to some people, but the problem with this is that it's also a problem outside fandom, and it's something I've dealt with my entire life.

See, my family also isn't "real" according to this rule.

I have foster siblings, step siblings, half siblings, so on and so forth. I have siblings I'm almost completely alienated from, siblings I love more than life itself, and siblings who are ex-siblings, pining for the fjords, kicked the bucket, bought the farm, blah, blah, blah.

So to hear people talk about how Jon and Sansa aren't real siblings because of the complexity of how their relationship came to be, how close they are, whether or not the moon was full when they met, is actually kind of hurtful.

It tells me something about the people using this trope and what they subconsciously think of my family. How "real" we are to them, and how much we matter. It kind of makes me think we don't really matter, that because we don't share DNA, we don't count.

Also:

Jon is one of my least favourite characters and Sansa can do better.

To Be VERY VERY clear:

I'm not saying don't ship them, don't read it, etc, etc. If you want to, it's up to you. Like I said, I read it sometimes, just because it's so ubiquitous. I have plenty of pairings that other people might hate, or think are immoral, etc. These are just my feelings, tbh.

I just think dismissing all criticism or even plain distaste for this ship down to not liking one character or another, or whatever, is kind of messed up. There are lots of valid reasons not to like a ship, and it's worth considering all of them.

[agentrouka-blog]

i'm new to this ship, can you give me recs of ao3 fics that is a must-read? thanks!

Hi anon!

I'm afraid I'm not a good source for must-read recs. I have a very narrow taste and anything I recommend would inevitably leave out a plethora of wildly beloved and popular stories. There's over eight thousand jonsa stories on AO3, lots of variety, show-based, book-based, AUs of every possible flavor, happy, sad. I am not sure you could credibly identify a "Must-Read" when so much depends on what you personally enjoy?

[jonsaslove]

I've posted the final part of dragonfly kisses. This one got away from me in terms of it being much more plot heavy than the previous two chapters, but also quite a bit fluffier, which is nice considering how heavy the first two parts were!

If you haven't checked it out already it's basically an AU in which Jon is resurrected and has to save Sansa from Ramsay, and then it goes from there :)

[reginarubie]

Hello ❤️. Thanks for writing the new fic. I loved it.

While i totally understand that u will not make a jon/Sansa/aemond love triangle, might i just gently suggest that u can keep jon still a bit romantically interested in Sansa. Because after all she was the one who literally gave him purpose after he got zombified and made him king. I mean she has given him her unconditional love and support even when he ignored her and brought Dany with him.

But now Sansa is with aemond and she truly loves him (it's obvious to us), I'm sure naturally jon would feel a bit sad or feel like he missed a chance with a person who truly loved him (a little bit of angst whether it is romantic or platonic from jon). But jon being a gentleman wouldn't pursue such a thing when he knows aemond truly loves her. Though he wants to make sure this new blondie is truly worthy of her.

Please ignore all of this if it's not your cup of tea. But i like a little bit of one sided jonsa in aemond/Sansa. Also helps Aemond realize that Sansa can easily find good men who will love her the way she deserves if he is not good enough for her.

ciao nonny,

first of all thank you :D

Look, I'll link here my last additional content (in case you've not happened on it yet). I have no intention of making a Jon/Aemond/Sansa triangle but that doesn't mean that I won't be addressing — in some way — the bond between Sansa and Jon, because it has been such a defining force for each of them that it would be like cutting half the character if I were to simply ignore it.

Jon was the first man Sansa trusted inherently, even when he returned home having given the crown Sansa had put on his head to a foreign (completely ignoring his siblings claim), Sansa trusted him so fully that she felt at ease in expressing her distaste and unfavorable opinion toward Daenerys without fear of repercussion — we know it's that way because Sansa tells Jon in not so many words that he is not Joffrey to her, which is why she feels confident in showing her opinion without any filter, because she knows Jon will have her back even if they don't agree.

And Jon takes that seriously, very seriously, and on the other hand Sansa gives him something Jon never thought he could have: she gives him the North (the very fact that she tells him he should take the lord's rooms even though she is the one with the Stark name and the one who won them the battle of bastards tells us more than enough) and she truly believes in him. She trusts him and believes in him.

I think that both in show canon and in the book Sansa and Jon will have a very hard time with their eventual romantic feelings for each other especially if they surface before the truth is unveiled — which is the route I am going with in this story — and it's very possible that whilst their feelings for one another may be the driving motivator of either or both, they could very well keep them inner for a long time; especially if Jon ends up really killing Dany.

Now Sansa has met Aemond, who has reminded her of Jon since the beginning, though maybe a different version, a version her brother could've been had life been different, that enabled her to look beyond the name he had gathered in history (kinslayer) to see what more was there to him, and found a cornucopia of unfiltered love, poetic love, filled with the same kind of passion and strength of the songs she so much loved as a child, and what more he wants her without taking in a account her claim, as he isn't even aware she has one (and has — by his standard — a better one than her when she gets her own keep). He loves her because she is Ned(Sansa) and not because of the claim she might give him (which is a big fear for Sansa).

Ultimately Aemond has carved slowly but surely a place in Sansa' heart, and it hasn't been given or effortless, like for Jon — though both put the effort to become each other's dream without even knowing it — it has been something he has earned, mainly because Sansa was very suspicious of him in the beginning, both for her story with Targaryens and both because she is not the naive girl she once was.

I think that if Jon and Aemond were ever to meet it'd be pretty interesting and yes Jon would never purse anything that could potentially take away Sansa's happiness, though he might just have ‘words’ with this blondie who has gotten his sister's attention.

Here, have this for your Firesteel/Jonsa heart — I hope you will enjoy!

SNEAK PEEK CHAPTER 3 KBFKBSII

As always thank you, and sending all my love~G.

[charmtion]

2022 end-of-year fic review ✨

thanks to the lovely @justadram for tagging me! 

1. what is your ao3 account? 

charmtion 

2. how many words did you write in total in 2022?

103,963

3. how many fics did you publish in 2022 // multi-chapters v. one-shots?

22—3 multi-chapter; 19 one-shots

4. what was your longest fic // your shortest fic?

longest: then comes blood 🩸🐝 shortest: honey & salt

5. what was your most popular fic // your least popular fic?

by kudos, most popular: rosemary 🫀🕯 least popular: a handful of small fires

6. what fic didn’t perform as well as you thought it would?

hmm, for me fandom seemed to steadily be dropping off a bit last year so fic-engagement naturally reflected that; I’m also kind of used to my work hitting a smaller sub-set of readers so I never think a fic of mine will ‘perform’ like the more popular writers in fandom per se, & that’s okay, the feedback I get via comments etc. is literally incredible 💥 I can’t complain—but I will anyway because maybe more daemyra ppl should’ve read underbelly because that fic is fire okay get it together guys!!! 

7. what fic performed way better than you thought it would?

most of my hotd fics, tbh ❕ esp the first few modern aus I wrote for that fandom; into dark, into water being a case in point because that, even more so than most things I write, was pure & utter self-indulgence 

8. what was your favourite fic you wrote from 2022?

I think moments of death—I go wild for the rhythm of it, particularly the second chapter—also colours of earth, of clay because it’s sad feels o’clock 24/7 in this house & older jonsa will always be my jam; & oh also home-sick for familiar trees my little hellcheer fic that was my first real foray into non-linear things love u too; that’s three but let’s just pretend that’s one yes okay good

9. what was your favourite fic that somebody else wrote in 2022?

still fear and trembling by @thefudge all day every day; sharp, sick, slick, smooth, sexy, showstopping, swoon. 🫶🏼

10. tag your friends to do this end-of-year fic review as well! 

@thistle-and-thorn, @redbelles, @stannisfactions, & @chispas-and-broken-bindings​. 🤍 x

[cellsshapedlikestars]

What fandoms/pairings did you get into before Jonsa? Or the first work/story that made you discover fanfic?

Just randomly sharing, broke my phone other day and looking for my downloaded fanfics made me look even further back.

😭 Final Fantasy VIII rpg game was 25 years ago and beloved fanfics of it published 20 years ago (still there in internet).

Also realized my love for broody, sulky male protagonists with angry chip in their shoulders and female characters that receive hate just bc they’re “princess”-y, “damsel-in-distress” not-the-strongest type was there too. (Prob started it.)

(we def share a ship preference for broody/princess lol)

It's been so long, I can't remember how I found fanfic. Probably in my Sailor Moon phase (elementary school-ish) because I absolutely wrote Sailor Moon fanfic. (I never posted it online or showed anyone, though. I can distinctly remember writing a Sailor Pluto fic where she's still alive after all the other sailors are killed, and she just stands there as the keeper of time waiting sad and alone for millennia for them to be reincarnated. Really fun and chill story, 12 year old me!) I can't remember any fics specifically that I read, though there was this website that used to MST3K "bad" Sailor Moon fanfics, and I remember reading a lot of those. I didn't ship anyone in Sailor Moon.

If you want to know about any prior ships/fics I wrote, below the cut!

Considering how much media I have consumed over the years, I don't tend to ship very hard. I tend to go with what the piece of media tells me the ships are tbh. Jonsa is the first that wasn't canon.

InuYasha

The first fandom I had a ship for, and the first fandom I actively remember reading fic for. I was big into Miroku/Sango. Never wrote anything for that, though.

Harry Potter

I did vaguely ship Harry/Ginny while the books were coming out, and even wrote a few chapters of an alternate book 2. That was on ff.net and is probably purged at this point. I could not tell you what my username or the fic title were lol.

Later, I dipped my toe into the Marauders/Jily fandom, but never went all out, because by that time, I'd become disillusioned with Harry Potter. Every once in a while, I'll go read a Jily fic.

Buffy

While this is my favorite show, I didn't ship too much. I kinda shipped Buffy/Spike (have thoughts on it now) and also Angel/Cordelia. I never read nor wrote fic for either of these pairings.

Veronica Mars

Veronica/Logan. Read some fic, never wrote anything.

Skins

I wrote a one shot for Sid/Cassie. Posted on my old livejournal and now re-posted to an alternate ao3 account. I don't hate it. I'd probably change some things if I were writing it now, but I think it's pretty solid.

(No, I just re-read it and it's very solid. Kinda proud of this one)

Glee

I am SO embarrassed to say this, but I wrote a Rachel/Puck one-shot after the episode where they decide to date because they're both hot and Jewish. It wasn't a super shippy fic and mostly centered around him telling Rachel Quinn's baby was his. I stopped watching Glee after the first season lol and did not repost that fic from my livejournal to ao3. It can die on livejournal.

Elite

Carla/Samuel!! LOVE me some poor boy/rich girl dynamics. I got really into them and even read some fic, though there wasn't much out there. Never wrote anything. Have debated writing a Jonsa Elite AU

The Other Fandom

Now. I have hinted in the past that I used to be in another fandom that I wrote fic for.

Oh, the OC. You held my heart for so many years (well. 2 years). I wrote so much fic for you (mostly in the first year, kinda fell off and did more experimental stuff in the second).

That fandom was the O.C.

I'm kind of afraid to say the pairing, because there's only 1215 OC fics total on ao3, and for my pairing is not one of the popular ones, and I wrote about a quarter of those, so I feel like you could find my alt account pretty easily...

I dunno. I'm a little embarrassed about some of the fic I wrote back then. Some of it is SO unnecessarily dramatic (AND IN FIRST PERSON. I HATE FIRST PERSON POV!!). I also wrote a wild amount of smut for someone who didn't really know what the fuck she was talking about lmaooo. I've spoken a lot about how skittish I am about writing smut now, but as a teenager I was cranking that shit out. (ok I actually just looked and it's only 5 explicit fics, but still. That's about 1/5 of the fics I wrote)

I'm probably making too much out of it, because there are some fics I'm proud of, but enough that I'm embarrassed by that I have yet to be able to publicly say what my apt account is

[thistle-and-thorn]

Hey,

19, 20, 30 for the ao3 wrapped please

♥️♥️♥️s

Hi hi hi thank you thank you thank you 😊

19. What’s one pairing you want to explore next year?

Ummmm…Jonsa? You may have noticed that I’ve cut off the many crushed red flowers before Jon and Sansa really interact and *nervous laughter* that’s because I can’t quite decide how they talk??? Like I think I know what their dynamic is…but I think fundamentally, I know th impact of their dynamic but not how it exists internally between them.

But I’m open to suggestions about pairings! Im always willing to try new things!

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most?

Oh interesting! I don’t tend to re-read? But I guess a fic that’s still technically in process called our praise is not for them? I just—this fic is my whole heart and soul and being and it’s so uniquely sad in the way that I like sadness 😂 if hits me in the feels the same way that it hit me when I first started working on it two years ago.

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

Oh! I think this year is the first year I’ve been really truly collaborative! And I think that’s produced a lot of interesting feelings—firstly, I think I understand the level of trust that it is to share your writing especially in the baby stage but also…I think I write a lot to process the really sad things that I experience and witness. Most of my fics are about depression at their core. But I think writing in collaboration has made it that, despite confronting and examining all these really sad things, the process is really joyful and is really an expression of love or trust or fellowship as opposed to pain? And I think that’s been nice.

Also, the time commitment. I need to really learn to prioritize writing now that my job and life and friends demand a lot more time than they did during quarantine.

[frazzledsoul]

An update:

Luke: Still refuses to watch it, but the rant he went on when he found out GRRM was going to do a Dunk and Egg show instead of finishing TWOW went on for about a week. "We should have imprisoned him next to that lake of acid when we had the chance!"

Lorelai: Quit season 2 after the AliCole sex was underwhelming.

Emily: Still won't watch it and her boyfriend has given up because no one is evil enough this season for his tastes.

Paris: She made Doyle dress up in that septa outfit after the Rhaenicent scene. It worked out pretty well for them.

Lane/Zach: They have zero interest. Loved the Richonne show. Zach is mad that Norman Reedus said it would be "more popular" if Rick were dead because now they'll never have a Rickyl reunion. They were actually psyched about the Jon Snow spin-off and are sad it was canceled. They are eagerly anticipating the Dark Jonsa movie.

Dean: He's very sad about Yellowstone being canceled.

Logan: He watches with his wife (not Odette, he married a feisty ginger lawyer who has the vibes of Rose Leslie in the interviews she did for the second season of Vigil which will make sense to no one but me but let's go with it) and then they talk about it with Rory and Jess in the group chat later. He's glad he never read the source material. He misses Succession.

Jess: He's beginning to feel sorry he read the source material because he's not sure the writers of this show did, either. He realizes it's just a popcorn show and tries not talking get too wrapped up on it. The new season doesn't have enough Aemond for him, although he and Rory do have epic sex after Ewan has a nude scene. Jess is reminded of the sex he had in 2000 (after reading the first three volumes of ASOIAF), 2005 (after reading AFFC and hooking up with a sarcastic sculptor from PAFA), 2011 (that time it was a classical studies grad student in Bryn Mawr, they argued for hours about the lore in ADWD)....if nothing else, this neverending franchise has been great for his personal life. He might watch the Aegon the Conqueror show if it happens. Maybe. (He does not think there will be any more ASOIAF books).

Rory: Still watching and participating in the group chat, but the Jaeharys stuff upset her and she's not sure she'll continue when it gets worse.

April: She is now secretly writing Heleagon fics on AO3and sending Communist Heleana memes. She's not watching the show that closely.

Liz/TJ: They got bored and don't bother watching anymore. TJ is a huge Bridgerton fan. Everyone is slightly confused.

Kirk: Still has never seen the show but his merch game has never been stronger.

How the Gilmore Girls crew feels about House of the Dragon, according to me

Sorry, Lorelai. Not going to happen.

Luke: refuses to watch because he’s not going to get anywhere near that thing until GRRM stops getting distracted by shiny objects and finishes TWOW. 

Lorelai: casual fan who can’t tell most of the characters apart, except for Criston Cole, because let’s face it, he is the prettiest of them all. 

Emily: LOL. She’s not getting near this. Her boyfriend watches it, because he’s literally the devil and is looking for tips.

Paris: Rhaenicent truther, of course.

Lane/Zach: Lane is personally too conservative for this show and they’re more Walking Dead people anyway. Zach still has a grudge over Jon Snow not killing the Night King. They are highly anticipating the Richonne show, though.

Dean: Has embraced his suburban dad ways and refuses to watch anything that’s not connected to Yellowstone.

Logan: prefers Succession, on which he is an secret consultant, but he does relate a bit too much to being on the blonde heir apparent who can never live up to expectations. 

Jess: The only person who actually read Fire and Blood (he finished it in a day and a half). Agrees it’s kind of terrible and GRRM probably can’t sustain a narrative to save his life at this point. Still, he’s a little too into Aemond Targaryen. The son ignored by his father, who nurses his grudges until everyone fears him instead of pities him, who destroys everything accidentally on purpose and fulfills everyone’s worst expectations? It’s a little too real. And we haven’t even gotten to the part where he’s pathetically in love. Logan tells him it’s just a mancrush on Ewan Mitchell and that’s why he watched World On Fire all the way to the end, but Rory loved that one because World On Fire is about a confused brunette who can’t choose between his gorgeous blonde and and his gorgeous brunette love interest, and who knows more about that than her? Also, Masterpiece Theatre and chill has long been a tradition in the Literati household. 

Rory: Tried reading Fire and Blood but quit after the first twenty pages. Sympathized with Rhaenyra at first but then realized her laziness and terrible decision making reminded her too much of her worst moments, so now her favorite is Alicent.

April: Secretly the top author on AO3 of Heleana/Aemond fics. Sends Jess a lot of Aemond communist memes.

Liz/TJ: I figure they’d root for the lowest common denominator in terms of fan preferences, so they’re into Daemyra.

Kirk: Has never seen an episode of the show, but is earnestly trying to sell Team Green vs Team Black memorabilia.

[graceverse]

The Saddest Ending

(also known as MY FRIDAY THE 13th FIC featuring what I would consider as the most HORRIBLE ending I could ever think of)

Warning: Character Death 

Summary:  She never visited. Not once. Not even when he pretended to sleep. She was still angry at him and Jon actually chuckled at that. Of course she is. He had given away her freedom and then had lain injured and useless as Daenerys no doubt claimed the Iron Throne.

Jon had stopped feeling. Stopped understanding anything. It was just darkness and the softly murmured words, softer footfalls as they tried to save him. He kept his eyes closed and let his body do whatever it wanted. He no longer had the energy to fight off the cold, to bear the heat, to keep his heart beating. Whatever it is that will come to pass, will pass.

The last thing he remember seeing was pure white shards of ice flying towards him as the Night King shattered against Longclaw. Death and steel and then darkness.

Jon did not know how long he had lain, hovering between two worlds, fire and ice, death and life. However long it was, just like everything else, it had to end.

It ended when he finally felt warm fingers touching his face. He smiled. Or at least he tried to. He didn’t know how well that went, but he knew that touch, he would know it in death or in life.

Thin, bony fingers. The tips none too warm. He knew her from her scent: freshly washed tunic, faint-barely-there scent of wet fur, morning sun.

“Arya.” He took her hand in his, felt callouses on her fingers. Left handed Arya. Her sword hand. Needle.

“How are you feeling?” Her voice was the same. How could that be possible? It was as though Jon had been thrown back in time and he very nearly asked if this was the Winterfell before they left, if this was the Winterfell that still knew Ned and his lady wife, the Stark children with their direwolves.

But no, the Arya of that Winterfell would have softer hands. The hands of a proper Lady and not the warrior that she had apparently become, hands that had known pain and dirt and blood.

They had all known about those. Robb. Sansa. Arya. Bran. Rickon.

Jon tried to open his eyes even though he already knew that it was futile. It was a cruel joke. That he is alive, that he is finally with his beloved sister but he is unable to see her, unable to see the world he had helped saved.

He didn’t have too many words to describe how he really is, so he answered as simply as he could. “Tired. Sleepy. But alive, it seems.”

“You’re lucky.”

Yes. No. Did it matter?

“Aye.” And because it will always be darkness that he will see from now on, Jon went back to sleeping.

Now Jon was aware of days and nights of comings and goings of visitors, of Maesters, of Lords and old friends. He knew their voices. Knew their hands. But he no longer knew their faces.

Sam had to tell him one day, even though he had already figured it out long before.

Blind.

Never able to see the winter snow, spring flowers, summer skies, autumn leaves – the color of her hair.

She never visited. Not once. Not even when he pretended to sleep. She was still angry at him and Jon actually chuckled at that. Of course she is. He had given away her freedom and then had lain injured and useless as Danaerys no doubt claimed the Iron Throne.

Had the Dragon Queen ordered her to Lannisport, to fulfill her wedded duty to Tyrion? Was she pregnant now with a Lannister babe?

No. She would not be any of those. Sansa would’ve fought hard to stay in Winterfell. She would have talked Tyrion into petitioning their divorce.

Also, Tyrion had visited thrice and never mentioned anything about going to Lannisport or taking care of newly birthed Lannister heirs. Tyrion made some fancy speech about heroes and sacrifices and rebuilding the kingdom, together, one united front. Jon didn’t say anything. He didn’t want anything to do with uniting a kingdom ruled by frivolous lords whose loyalty could easily be switched, bargained, forgotten. No, Jon wanted no part in that.

Daenerys visited more than anyone. More than Arya, to Jon’s dismay. More than Bran, who only came twice. Once, to remind him that he was still a Stark, despite being the son of Rhaegar. His mother was still Lyanna Stark and he was still of the North. The second to urge him to choose: Stark or Targaryen. His choice still mattered, it seemed. He had to shake his head and groan. There is no choice. He is a Stark. He will always be a Stark. He will never stop being a Stark.

You are to me.

She had insisted it once, in an impassioned speech, her blue eyes fierce and bright and so very open, Jon could feel the truth of her statement deep within his bones, up to very bottom of his soul.  

That was all that mattered to him.  

This would explain Dany’s daily visits but not Sansa’s absence.

Dany commented on his color, not as pale as yesterday, my love. She was a bright warm voice urging him to ride south and live with her in King’s Landing. Or perhaps Dragonstone, the sun and the sea will help him regain his strength.

But his strength lay in wet snow, the cold biting wind, the Godswood, the howling of the wolves that had made Winterfell their home. He didn’t have the energy to explain this to her. He didn’t want to share with her these things that had kept him alive.

Jon tried his best to be patient. A blind man after all has too many things to occupy him. Relearning sounds, scents, textures. Relearning his own room, his own body even. He was whole, scarred beyond healing, but everything seemed to be where they should be. It was only his eyesight that he had lost and all things considered, it was not as devastating as being dead.

He will probably never hold a sword, never fight another battle in his life and this was something he was actually thankful for. He had no more wish to fight. There was nothing left to fight for. Only to live for.

But she still refused to see him.

And so, when Jon had been sure that everyone of importance in the North, in the Vale, in the miserable South, even the Free Folks has visited him – the King, the bastard, the Warden of the North, the Lord of Winterfell, just Jon – he finally asked Arya.

“Where is Sansa?”

There is a strange silence. But Jon didn’t think, didn’t feel it was the mourning kind. He would know if she was gone, wouldn’t he?

“She never visited me.”

“You’re asleep sometimes. How would you know?” Arya asked, the lilt in her voice the same as always. No change in tone, no hint of sorrow or anything.

“I’d know. She smells like lemons and fresh snow and winter roses.” He’d know because when they had lived in Winterfell, together, her scent remained even when she had left the room. It lingered all around him, it seeped into his fur coat and into his skin. If she had visited him, his room would smell of her.

“I’ll take you to her.”

“Aye. Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow then.” Arya promised him and as usual, leaned forward to press a gentle kiss unto his forehead before leaving the room.

But Jon felt something inside him twisting and shivering. Does she still hate me? He wanted to ask, needing to know before he had to be in her presence but he couldn’t make himself know the answer. He decided that yes, Sansa still hated him. And if it was the case, then he would be ready and accepting but he will have to start wooing her. Something he had thought about long and hard, all those many nights he had lain awake thinking only of her. He will tell her how he truly feels, she needs to know first. And then, he will be able answer Dany why he would never join her in King’s Landing.

It would be a lot of work to win Sansa back, but that was something to live for.

And if she had forgiven him, then it would be something he could cherish. Maybe he could finally be glad that he had survived the war.

The following day, as promised, Jon walked with Arya out of his room and into the hallway. There was a hush around them and Jon was certain it was because the people inside Winterfell had never seen Jon Snow and Arya Stark walking its hallways. At least no one alive would have seen them together, dark eyed, dark haired Stark ghosts silently roaming their home.

Her strides were short but confident, as though she already knew that even without his sight, he would know exactly where to go, where the corners would be, were the stairs would start and end, where the windows would allow light and sun and warmth.

And he did. Jon knew Winterfell better than he knew himself. This was the Winterfell he had grown up with, the Winterfell whose nooks and crannies he had explored and mapped and he could see it all clearly in his mind. Knew exactly where the Stark banner would be hanging – he reached out his hands and felt the heavy fabric bearing the grey winter wolf.

He started towards Sansa’s solar, sure that she would be there, but Arya’s footsteps stopped and Jon had to turn back towards her. It didn’t take long for Jon to realize that they were heading outside and he braced himself for the cold, but the air was crisp, not the biting freeze he had expected.

Arya seemed to have sensed his confusion, “Sam thinks that when you defeated the Night King, it shortened winter. He thinks that the Night King and winter were somehow feeding off each other.”

He sensed Arya’s shrug, but he didn’t say anything. He wasn’t sure what Arya meant and he didn’t want to question Sam who had skillfully dragged him out of death’s grip.

“I think we just assumed it would be a long winter and it turned out that it wasn’t.” This sounded nothing like his impetuous sister. This sounded like someone who had grown resigned to the mistakes men were bound to make.

And that makes Arya so much wiser, calmer, and surer of herself, of her place in the world that Jon suddenly missed the little girl that had jumped into his arms, hugging him, making him promise that he will visit her in the South or maybe she will visit him at the Wall.

They had assumed a lot of things and ended up being so incredibly wrong and that, Jon could at least understand.  

The chill was familiar but not in a comforting way. He knew this cold, had spent too many times being enveloped by it.

The crypts beneath Winterfell.

He stopped walking so abruptly, he stepped on Arya’s heels.

And now, yes, the scent of tears. Of mourning that was never meant to be spoken of or shared. It rises from her and Jon feels suddenly weak and lightheaded. He fights against this feeling, fights it like he had fought so many months ago, with gritted teeth and clenched fists.

“Is she visiting father?” Jon asked, in the exact same way when he had tried to open his eyes knowing that he would never be able to see again, ever.

“Jon.” And now, yes, that sudden change in Arya’s voice. Like a raw, opened wound that was still profusely bleeding and that will remain open until all the blood runs out. It was exactly how sorrow worked.  

But Jon didn’t wait for another word or worst, a comforting touch. “Take me to her.” Was all that he said, suddenly reminded of Robert Baratheon, years and years and a whole lifetime ago, ordering their father to take him to the crypts.

Darkness never mattered now. He was still surefooted as he was inside the castle. How many days and nights had he spent coming inside these crypts to stare at Ned Stark’s face, asking him for forgiveness for bending the knee, for wanting something he was not supposed to have, for hoping, for demanding, for trying to bargain?

I will save The North, father. I will make myself worthy of her.

His senses were startling in its accuracy and as they walked closer to where he knew Ned Stark’s statue was, Jon was also certain that there was no one else inside the crypt. It was still just him and Arya.

Arya, who very gently takes his hand and stretches it over his head so that his fingers can meet stone, instead of flesh, coldness instead of warmth.

Sansa.

His breath leaves his lungs, noisy and painfully and Jon willed his heart to stop as his hand finds her jaw, cupping it tenderly before moving upward to feel her the smooth roundness of her cheers, turning softly downwards, to her neck and then her shoulder and suddenly, Jon could feel his knee giving way, the weight of this sorrow so sudden, so encompassing it had turned into everything.

This is whole world now: this loss.

It was all the he could know and feel and it consumed him, devoured him like snow storms could swallow up whole armies.

“How?” came out more as a howl and he asked this over and over before switching to “why” and then finally “who?” because his fight was not yet over, he would have to hold his sword once again and he will swing it, wait for the sound of steel slipping between flesh and bones, the heat of blood hissing as it melted the snow. This would not ease the pain, but it will allow him to live with himself.

He had so utterly failed her.

Arya didn’t move, didn’t try to comfort him. “You were still beyond the wall. She abandoned you, remember?”

Jon wordlessly nodded. Dany had apologized for it with tears and careful hands brushing away the anger in his frowns and grunts. She had to. Rhaegal had already died. Drogon barely survived. She only had one dragon left and there was no way she will be able to claim the Iron Throne with a dying dragon. She had to leave.

It didn’t matter. Jon was going to kill the Night King and he will put a stop to this endless nightmare and he didn’t care if he had dragons or Dothrakis or the Unsullied was behind him. The war was now just between him and the Night King.

“She headed North. I was still at Riverrun with Nymeria.”

“You took The Trident.” Jon remembered receiving a raven telling him of the Warrior of Winterfell, the youngest daughter of Eddard Stark, charging towards the Golden Company on the back of the biggest direwolf the kingdom had ever seen and behind her, more wolves, snarling and howling, the fur of their snouts matted and colored with all the shades of blood red.

An Army of Avenging Wolves. Winter finally arriving in the South, jaws furiously, righteously snapping up bones and flesh.  

“I was too late. The Dragon Queen arrived in Winterfell and she demanded the Northern Lords to bend the knee, to give her the army that she had lost fighting beyond the wall.”

And already Jon could see her, standing just outside Winterfell, her head held high, chin jutting out, red hair harsh against the pure white of winter snow. She would not show them that she was frightened; she will not let them see her trembling. She was of the North. The daughter of Eddard Stark and Catelyn Stark. She was the Lady of Winterfell.

“Bran said Sansa had looked up and closed her eyes and it was so, so quiet that even though it was a whisper, even when it had been spoken so quietly, everyone heard it.”

Dracarys.

Jon found himself storming outside, the chilled air seeping through his skin, finding its ways inside his veins, into his blood, wrapping itself around his heart until he could feel frozen air inside his lungs.

Arya grabbed his shoulder, “You can’t.”

“I will.” He shrugged off her hold. “I only regret that I won’t be able to see her face.” The anger inside him – no, not anger, something far more fiercer than that. Fire and blood. A kind of madness.

But Arya planted herself firmly in front of him, “You can’t. She is the mother of your son.”

Jon staggered back. What?

What?!

“You slept with her. On your way here. She bore you a child. Why do you think she is still here, alive? Why do you think her head isn’t on a spike rotting on the table inside my chambers?”

No. No. No. No.

“You have a son. A Targaryen. The first real Targaryen in years. You think I would be able to kill a child that has you face? Your eyes? He is a Targaryen, but his face… it’s your face. It’s father’s face.”

And Jon felt like dying all over again. The Gods were so, so infinitely cruel.

--

Okay, fuck. Fuck. What the fuck did I write? 

It’s like everything I don’t ever want to happen (MagicalTargBaby!) in GoT. 

I just had to get that out of my system. So yeah. There’s the saddest ending I could ever think of. Imagine having to live with the woman who is the mother of your child and who also happen to murdered the woman you truly loved? 

I’m so sorry Jon. 

I will never write anything like this ever again. Like, ok that’s out of my head now. I can now stop thinking about that scenario – which has haunted me many sleepless nights. I know this has a lot of plot holes, so maybe we can consider this as a crack fic? Please don’t hate me.