#sab ay

[sabs-scribbles-and-soliloquies]

sab ay books → between touch and time

“Welcome back.” My eyes snapped open. Huh? “Would you like to answer a few questions?”

[manebioniclegali]

(shakes your hand) LEH-wa pronounciation gang!

lewa might have the widest range of possible pronounciations amongst the mata as far as im aware between LEE-wa, LEH-wa, and LUH-wa (as heard in the bionicle retrospective)

HECK YEAAAAH 🤝 and Onewa I think followed a similar trend, but with less range. It truly is amazing how Lewa's had so many, including the incredibly baffling LOOH-wa from Eljay of TTV ten years ago (I have no idea how he managed that one)(I also don't know if that's the one you were trying to phonetically do with LUH-wa)

[kohakuhibiki]

Ok but the thing is my landlord is kinda just throwing on other landlords (ok, just lowkey inheritance beef i guess, i mean she had her own job in a rather, i dunno, complications were in sight probably but she could explain skskskskskkkksks)

[spottedloaf]

reblog for sample size if you don't mind :3

[qalbofnight]

سب سمجھتا ہوں تِری عشوہ گری، اے ساقی

کام کرتی ہے نظر، نام ہے پیمانے کا

Sab samjhta hoon Teri ishwa- gari aye saqi

Kaam karti hai nazar nam hai paimaney ka

[msbhagirathi]

The Madhumati Gupta Buaji Weekly

Mugzeen Adison (Magazine Edition)

Namaste Nandkisore!

Aasaa karat hain ki, nandkisore, aap sab logan theek haai. Hum logan bhi theek haai, nandkisore. Sasi babua bhi ab theek hi haai bas pahile se tanik kamjor hui gaye, chhari ke sahare chalat haain ab. Aoor humka bataye rahe ki oo ki ee halat bhi oo Syaam ki kirpa rahi. Humra mann toh karat raha ki oo sasure ko ek ghumaai ke lagay de ki jindagi bhar phir aisan kucho karat ki jurrat naa karihe, haa.

Chalo choro babua/bitiya. Arre nandkisore ab tanik aapan baat bhi karau, ghar mein sab logan theek haai na? Tohre Amma-Bauji, tohri kauno humre jaisan Buaji hau toh oo sab theek haai na, nandkisore?

Ab kaa batyay tohka, nandkisore. Kal parso ki baat rahi, Sanka Devi aayi gayi phudakti-phudakti Laxminagar. Humka kahine lagi ki Arnav babua ke daftar mein kauno mugzeen-wugzeen ke khaatir humka kucho likhna haai. Hum kahe ki ab nandkisore humre jamane mein toh hum aoor tohre phuphaji itni chitthi likhat rahe ki bas pucho naahi. Toh oo kahi ki theek haai buaji aap chitthi likh ke humko bataay dena hum aa kar le jayenge, ab humri buddhi bhi umar ke kaaran mand pari rahi, oo ka jaaye ke baad, hum bhi bhul gaye nandkisore.

Saara kaam karke aaike baithe the, ki oo ka fone aayi gaya, humka puchi ki chhitthi likhe haai ki naahi, toh hum kahe, nandkisore, kaam mein thora byast hoyi gaye the, abhi likhat rahe.

Ab hum kaa bataay, nandkisore, humri jindagi mein kauno bataane layak khaas toh kucho haai nahi. Athaarah (18) ke the, amma-bauji ne byaah karaaye diya, tohre phuphaji un dino rail maashter kaa kaam karat rahe. Byaah ke baad humka liye eehan Delhi aayi gaye Laxminagar, ab nandkisore tabahu se hum idhar hi rahat haai.

[Buaji aur phuphaji honeymoon ke liye puri dilli ghume the. Phuphaji jab bhi kaam ke wajah se dusri jagah jaate toh wahan se buaji ko chitthi likhte the. ~Buaji ki pyaari SD ;)]

Sabahu theek chalat raha tha. Byaah ke teen saal baad, ek din khabar mili ki kauno train mein aag lag gayi haai, aoor bohut logan ki jaan gayi haai, a phir hum bhi chakkar kaat kaat kar thak gaye, nandkisore, daftar se aspataal aoor aspataal se phir daftar, phir unke daftar se ek din chhitthi aaye ki tohre phuphaji toh milat naahi toh unki penson ki raakam ab humko mila karegi, hum bohut roye oo din.

Bohut hi ache insaan the, nandkisore, hum behad prem karat the, ab kaa karaein, oo din ke baad se hum aapan nandkisore ke charno mein samarpit hoye gaye. Khair jaane do nandkisore. Ee sab toh bohut purani baat rahi.

Aye nandkisore, agar tumlogan ka kauno dikkat paresaani rahe toh humka bataayi dio, hum tohka tanik samajhaai denge, aoor baaki sab humre nandkisore ke haathon chor denge, theek haai naa? Bilkul kauno dikkat rahi toh bitiya humka aapan buaji samajh kar, eehan aaike bataai dena, mann bhi thora halka hoat jayi. Aoor hum toh waisan bhi jyaada kaam-kaaj naa kar sakat haai naa, toh pura din bas baith ke hi gujar jaat haai. Tohka chitthi likhan ke khaatir humra bhi tanik samay beet jaye.

Ab hum thehre bujurg, humse kaun baat karihe? Oo bhi chitthi likhke, nandkisore? Aajkal toh naa jaane kaa oosab bhatsup-discaard bhagwaan jaane aoor kaa-kaa aayi gaye haai, chitthi likhne ka phursat kaun ke paas rahai?

Khair choro. Humka toh aoor kuch soojh hi naahi rahat haai nandkisore, aoor kaa likhe? Chalao phir rakhte haai kuch batana hau toh likhat dena theek haai naa?

Aoor haan. Humka sunne mein aawat haai ki Sanka Devi ki kauno saheli ka aaj janam din raha? Ee baat sach haai ka, nandkisore? Janam din ki bohut bohut subhkamna tohka, nandkisore. Khub kaam karau, mehnat karau, Arnav babua aoor titaliya ke jaisan naam-paisa kamao, aoor tohka pati-parmeswar toh bohut hi bhagyawaan raha ki oo ka tohre jaisan patni milat rahi, nandkisore (byaah kee ho ki naahi, nandkisore?)

Aoor humri taraf se kauno meethaai wagerah khaa lena, tohka ghar ka pata (address) hota toh dukaan se jalebi aoor kucho dusri meethaai bhijwai dete par kauno baat naahi bitiya muskuraayete rehna. Jindagi mein rone ke bohut mauke milenge par muskuraaye ke mauke khud hi dhundne parat haai, nandkisore.

Chalao phir, ab rakhat haai. Garima ke saath mandir jaanat haai nandkisore. Namaste.

P.S. : Lol. I got this idea today like literally today and then thought of getting started but now I am kinda confused about something whether I should continue this one from buaji's POV only or I should write from all the characters' POV's. Let me know. And also ket me know ki yeh kuch samajh mein aaya bhi ki ekdum kachra kar diya hai maine. Lol :') Ok so I should have added this bit in the beginning but nvrmnd *shrugs* So I have considered double 'a' for आ sound, double 'o' for ऊ sound, double 'e' for इ sound and single 'a' is for अ sound, rest if you find any kind of confusion, please feel free to ask for help, considering this is not regular Hindi so :) Ok. Bye. God bless you.

[maihonhassan]

One of my favorite of Jāun Eliya:

Aye subha main ab kahan raha hun khwabon hi mein sarf ho chuka hun

Sab mere baghair mutmain hon main sab ke baghair ji raha hun

Kya hai jo badal gayi hai duniya main bhi tou bahut badal gaya hun

Go apne hazar naam rakh loun par apne siwa main aur kya hun

[youremyheaven]

Songs for My Pasandida Marad 🥺💖💗

im all up in my feelings today girlies so i thought ill make a post about my favourite love songs that remind me of Him 🫣for my non-desis, "pasandida marad" literally translates to "favourite man" and its used to refer to "your guy" 😭😭ok ill cry if i say more, here are some songss

O Rangrez

"Apne hi rang mein mujhko rang de

Colour me in your colours

Dheeme dheeme rang mein mujhko rang de

Colour me slowly in your colours

Saundhe saundhe rang mein mujhko rang de

Colour me lightly in your colours

Rang de na, rang de na, rang de na

Please colour me"

indian song lyrics gooo so hard 😩😩💘

2. Khuda Jaane

Sajde mein yun hi jhukta hoon

I kneel and bow in worship

Tum pe hi aake rukta hoon

I come to a stop when I see you

Kya yeh sab ko hota hai

Does this happen to everyone?

Hum ko kya lena hai sab se

What do others matter?

Tum se hi sab baatein ab se

I'm only thinking of you now

Ban gaye ho tum meri dua

You've become my prayer

3. Aye Ajnabi

I am obsessed with this movie. It explores the 7 stages of Sufi love and its beyond beautiful 😍😍 if you watch this song unfold within the context of the movie, you'll lose your mind, Mani Ratnam was soooo ahead of his time.

"Woh hai kahan kahan hai

Where is she, where is she?

Woh roshni kahan hai

Where is that light?

Woh jaan si kahan hai

Where is my beloved?

Main adhoora tu adhoori jee rahi hai

I'm unfinished and so are you"

4. Pee Loon

"Tere sang ishq kaari hai

With you, love feels victorious

Tere sang ek khumari hai

With you there is an intoxication

Tere sang chain bhi mujhko

With you, I feel peaceful

Tere sang bekarari hai

And with you, I feel restless"

5. Ye Tune Kya Kiya

"Phiroon ab maara maara main Chaand se bichhda taara main Dil se itna kyun haara main? Ye tune kya kiya?

I wander hopelessly now.. I'm a star separated from the moon, Why did I lose myself to my heart to this extent, What have you done (to me)?"

6. Ek Ladki Ko Dekha Toh Aisa Laga

this whole song is the man describing how he felt upon seeing his beloved and its sooo cuteee<33

7. Hai Rama

a sexy song 🥵🤪

8. Aao Na

2000s Aishwarya dear lord 😩😩

9. Maula Mere Maula

IF HE SEES ME AND DOES NOT FEEL MAULA MERE MAULA, I DONT WANT HIM

10. Tum Se Hi

grumpy x sunshine core 🥺🥺

[his-heart-hymns]

Nhi mujhe isse kuch nhi mila, mera ye sawal toh dunya se tha, kya dunya waqai ek haqiqat hai? maine aese sawaal dunya ek عرصے se kar rhi thi Phir mujhe jawaab mil gaya pta hai kya mila,

Ay asharful makhlooqat! Tujhe tere Rab ne dunya ke seene par utara, Tujhe apna مشیر (adviser) bataya, Tujhe zameen ki سلطنت (kingdom) daan ki gayi, tujhe  فہم و فراست (understanding) ataa ki gayi, tujhe مسجود ملا یک (farishto ne sajda kiya) bataya gaya, tu ye sawal puchta acha nhi lagta, tujhe haq nhi ke tu mere baare mai sawal kr, mere baare mai tujhe sab bataya gaya, mai kya hu, meri haqiqat kya hai, mujhe kaise baratna hai, kaise istemaal (use) krna hai, mai صفر

(0) hu jab tak deen ki ikaai (1) ke Saath nhi milungi Kaam nhi aaungi, mujhe 10 bna kr istemaal krna, tumhe toh sab bataya gaya tha... mujhe tumhare baare mai kuch nhi bataya gaya tha ke tum kya ho, mujhe sirf tumhari taarefein suna suna kr  مرعوب (Amazed) kiya gaya tha, tum wo ho jise  jinon, farishton ne sajde kiye the, tum wo jise Allah ne apne haathon se banaya tha, tum خلیفہ الارض

( Caliph of the Earth) ho, tum مسجود ملائک ho,

tum اشرف المخلوقات ho, Isliye ye mera haq hai ke sawal karu ke,

Ay گوشت کے لوتھڑے (a lump of flesh)..

Ay khaak o Aab ke متزاج (mixture) tu mujhe bta..

Kya waqai insaan ek haqiqat hai??

Khair apka toh perspective kafi alag hai.

Mera perspective sirf alag nahi,bekaar tha.😂

Iss cheez ke liye shukriya,beshak dimaag se Parde hatane wali baate thi.😊

[itz-stus]

Greetings your one of the few Indian writers I have seen on Tumblr so can you please write like a proper kings au with like the Reader is from India who is like a princess here abd like falls in love with a prince who came to visit India for trade with the king.

Hello! Thank you so much for this request it was really fun to write this. So the setting here is of like India before British colonization. So we are going to take this hypothetically since there were no marriages of queens and a foreign king (If we're not taking Mughals as foreigners) But yeah there is a case like the one of princess suriratna, also known as heo hwang-ok, but the facts about them are still unclear about them. And P.s I tried to write like a Scenario and then headcanonns.

Masterlist

Bewitching Princess

How you two met:

Long ago far from this land, there was a great emperor of Japan. The Gojo Empire was widespread in Japan. The people were happy and prosperous under the youngest king's rule. It was a beautiful place from people to their hearts.

There was a saying that he was the most beautiful of them all. His eyes were said to be the gateway to heaven. He had everything you could ever dream for a great heart to every lavish thing in his palace. But unaware of the most priceless thing was thousands of miles away from him. Crossing the seas, situated the most valuable delicacy...The Princess of L/n Empire.

In the thick forest, a beautiful young woman was sitting on a branch getting her arrow out and aiming at the small dear in front of her. Her looks were so enchanting that even the sea waves would crash. She was such a beauty that people would even say that the moon was even ashamed of her. 

She had her hair tied in a half ponytail while her beautiful locks graced her face. Her eyes do sharp that they could cut through a rock. 

As soon as the arrow launched the dear ran away from the sheer wind. Making the women jump down as she chased it. 

She spotted the animal near the pond as she carefully launched her arrow hitting it right in the chest.

But soon she heard another voice making her stand on her guard as she looked around placing her arrow on her bow as she stretched the bowstring she shot the Dhanush from where the noise was heard.

Walking towards it she found something rather surprising there was a man well a beautiful young man with white hair and such enchanting eyes. He didn't look from here rather looked like an angle from above. 

The arrow wounded his shoulder digging deep into his flesh as blood tricked down on his western white henley shirt.

He was astonished as he walked forward with a katana in his hand. 

"It appears that your arrow struck its target," He said to her as she moved her hand forward to take it out only to be slapped in rejection by him making her yelp in surprise.

The woman forcefully grabbed his collar pulling the arrow as it twisted and loosened up the albino gave her a helping hand pulling out the arrow he grunted as he soon started to feel dizzy and passed out on her shoulder.

He was brought to the infirmary where the Royal doctors cured him. Then few sounds of people were heard as the women went out looking for it outside the cave.

"Pratap. Aap sab yaha par is samay bat kya hai??" She spoke in her native language Hindi.

"Rajkumari sa, aaj hi mahal mein mehman aye the Japan ke Maharaj Satoru Gojo. Ate hi shikar par nikal gaye phir wapas mahal nahi laute. Maharaj ne unko dhund ne ka adesh diya hai." He informed as the princess nodded her head and replied 

"Maharaj se kahna voh surakshit hai brahmado ke mahal mein vishram kar rahe hai." She said as the minister bowed his head in order and left taking all of his companions with him. 

On the other hand, the princess heard him wake up with a jolt as she walked towards him, stroking his forehead soothingly as she laid him back down as looked her in the eyes. 

He never imagined something so beautiful, so enchanting and welcoming. In Satoru's interpretation, she was an angel wearing no jewels but looking so radiant as he fell into darkness.

His eyes opened with the sound of chimes as he got up and looked around to see you in beautiful Indian wear.

This one:

The princess was muttering her prayers(Pooja) in front of the huge statue of lord Vishnu. ringing her bell as she finished and looked behind looking at the woken King.

She stood up and smiled warmly and made her way towards him picking up the prashad in between.

"Are you here to say sorry?" He said turning his head towards her as he sighed watching the princess bestow fresh flowers on the other small statues of gods around the palace.

"What a wonderful hunter you are you even wounded a hunter rather than a dear. First with an arrow and now with attitude." He said sarcastically getting up from the bed as the princess just smirked at him continuing her work.

"I get it was an accident but some accidents are so beautiful like your L/n empire. Wherever you go you get enchanted. Well, I'm talking for quite some time now but neither I know anything about you nor do you know anything about me." He said looking at her as she stopped in front of him and spoke 

"The youngest king of the Gojo empire, Satoru Gojo."

"How did you know?"

"You're our guest." She said as he sighed and smirked jokingly.

"Well, that was some very warm hospitality I got."

"Why did you visit here leaving your empire?" She asked as she walked ahead and placed the bowl of Prashad and coconut water next to him.

"To buy some jewels"

"You can not buy them only fate gives them to you." 

"Like you met me? Tell me something about you. Like who are you?"

"Every soul knows my name here ask them." She said as she picked up the cup of coconut water and placed her hand softly on his jaw tilting t a bit upwards. She then poured the water in as the king drank it. 

Her beauty mesmerized Satoru and her charisma she enchanted him. 

"Here have some. Bring your hands together." She said and placed the prashad in his hands.

Walking out she finally looked at him and muttered "Y/n L/n" she smiled and walked ahead leaving the great king with a feeling he has never felt before

Headcannons:

So After your first meeting, I highly think that Satoru and you for a while will go on hunting together where he will learn more about you.

And as a menace to society, he is I think he would constantly flirt with you.

If you got the target before him be ready to face the whining of this manchild.

He will teach you how to use a sword while you teach him how to use a Dhanush.

Like there will be moments between you and him where you two just talk about philosophy.

I am a firm believer that you two will dress up as normal people and roam freely in your empire as you show him around.

Honestly, be shocked by how wise you are and how good your battle IQ is.

When he gets the jewels and it will be time to say well then he will 100% ask you on the last day like:

"Will come with me to Japan as My Queen?" Like so nonchalantly leaving you shocked.

And hence you became the Queen of the Gojo Empire. But you never left your heritage and always wore your traditional clothing which your king always adored.

[sabs-scribbles-and-soliloquies]

sab ay books → where we end and begin

"we don't always get to choose our firsts, elliot. but, hopefully, we can choose what happens after. what our second and third and fourths are."

[verses-n-moon]

Ramadan Mubarak y'all. ♡

Apne Ramzan aesy guzaren ke jab EID aye to apko waqae lage ke ye Allah ki taraf se apko tohfa hay. Allah ham sab ky rozay aur ibadatein qabool farmain, Ameen suma Ameen. ♡ [via - Hazel Clouds]

[kohakuhibiki]

given the commotion, I just want to make one thing known: no one checked out, but I heard the calls of people who wanted to have ways to explain themselves, oops, sorry guys, when people do that omfg,,,,

[taegularities]

heyyy rid ....mujhe abhi pata chala kya chal raha hai south korea mai

its like disgusting ....i feel like u have a huge crowd at this platform so more people will get aware of it

recently SK ki females internationally help mang rahi thi ki unke liye stand up kare log cuz wahn ke chat rooms nikal ke aye hai which is on telegram uspe wahn ke males chat group mai deepfakes share karte the apne family , workplace , coworkers, school kids and teens , especially family ....nd jab ye baat bahar nikal kar ayi toh ispe uss tym jada action liya hi nhi gya cuz wahn ki government isee important nhi smjhti they let it go like something very normal

unki chays ke jab SS reveal hue toh bht hi diagusting baatein nikali like females ko bht hi zada rights diye hue hai in translation if i say uska matlab ye tha ki bht udd rahi hai ladkiyan niche rehna chahiye like that

aur ye sab sexual harrasment toh hai hi but ye sab females ko nicha ya inferior samjhna jaissa tha nd ofc humiliation ... jispe based unke chat room ka naam bhi hai

after all this first the kolkata case jiska mai reason same inferior dekhna tha uske baad bhi bht cases aye the then abb ye .... aisa lagta hai ki humanity khatam si hoti ja rahi hai

dosri taraf taliban mai jane kya kya restricyion laga diye hai ki bare face bahar nhi nikalna hands nhi dikhne chahiye koi sound nhi nikalni chahiye

uske baad recently ek rape culprit joki US se hai mujhe confirm nhi kahan se hai but hai west ka hi usne bhi bht hi henious crime kiya tha aur 28urs jail ke baad woh bahar aagya hai aur khula ghoom rha like no restrictions over him

ab baat countries par rahi hi nahi hai ye world pe aagyi hai WE ARE NOT SAFE ANYWHERE except agr hum apne mummy papa se chipak kar rahe toh shyd safe ho

idk bht bura lag raha hai kya ho rha hai duniya mai kabhi kabhi aisa lagta hai ki ab kuch matter bhi karta hai ya nhi life mai but fir sab bhulne ki koshish karti hu ...bht mushkil se toh mai kolkata wale case se dimag hataya tha lekin ab ye sab hine laga 🥲🥲🙂‍↔️🙂‍↔️

aorry for such a long rant but bht tym se ye sab mere andhar bhara hua hai

kasam se waise bhi mai kisi relation mai nhi ayi abhi tak aur ab toh shyd sawal hi nhi uthta hai

but again i think lets not lose hope abhi tym hai shyd kuch thik hojaye

i'm going to answer in english bc i feel like this could be of concern for everybody. so the ask basically talks about the different occurrences of SA of women all over the world, including but not limited to the south korea deepfake porn scandal or the absolutely devastating kolkata doctor rape-murder case. i've heard of most of these and i had the same thoughts as you, riya… it's saddening and terrifying that women are seen as something inferior, like a stray dog that they can treat however they like. i feel like the world had gotten better for a while and now its morals are dropping again.

it's scary as a woman, it's scary to go out, to fall in love, to marry, to dress a certain way for joy, to even go to work. i'm not surprised that these korean women won't marry or date men anymore, bc even i, in a modern central european country, am horrified and so freaking scared that i might fall into a guy's trap and end up in a terrible relationship.

i get your fears, my love. i've cried so many times about this now… i'm so sorry you feel that way, too. all we can do is hold onto hope and believe that things will get better, that we will get justice, that men will be educated too, and that we can live a life with somebody who cherishes us and shows us that not everybody is inherently bad. you can vent here anytime. we're all here for you 🫂

[maintohthakgayibhaishaab]

Diwali ke dino mein main night suit mein chali aai hu, apne ghar ke samne khana lene 💀 aur yahn pe sab log ekdum jhakaas taiyar hoke khana khane aye hai

meanwhile im sitting in Zomato vale bhaiyas ki line mein to have my food parcel 😭😂

[solreix]

tsukishima kei is her best friend. it should not be more than that.

ilang on and off relationship na ba ni tsukishima ang nasaksihan niya, at ilang on and off friendship na rin ang nagkaro'n sa kanila dahil tuwing may partner si tsukishima, siya na ang umiiwas.

yet, both of them still acknowledged the fact that they were best friends since diapers. magkaibigan ang nanay nila. kaya naman tuwing family outing, nasa kanila siya, o si tsukishima ang nasa kanila.

that's why when she heard about this family outing, she's so frustrated because she's getting more and more transparent with her feelings. tanga kasi siya. kapag bestfriend, bestfriend lang dapat.

tulad ngayon.

hindi naman siya ganito ka-problemado noon. kaya lang, it has just been a week when she realized her feelings for him. at sa linggong iyon, nagagamit niya ang pagka-busy sa finals para maiwasan ang isa.

pero hindi niya iyon magagawa ngayon. that's why even though she's been shaking, she remained on the pool. tulala lang siyang nakasandal sa pader, bandang gitna, nakalubog hanggang balikat niya. she wanted to go, change, and eat but she could still hear his polite chuckles. panigurado, kapag nakita siya nitong umahon, lalapit ito sa kaniya.

"ate, hindi ka pa ba aahon? nilalamig ka na ah."

gulat siyang lumingon sa pinsan nang nagsalita ito. "hindi pa. gusto ko pa maligo!" at dinugtungan niya ito ng tawa para kapani-paniwala.

she doubt it's as believable as she believed it would be dahil naningkit lang ang mata ng pinsan. "iniiwasan mo ba si kuya kei?"

nanlaki ang mata niya. ganoon na ba siya ka-obvious?

"hindi ah! why would i?"

"crush mo na, 'no?"

"hindi rin!" winisikan niyo ito ng tubig. "ano ba 'yan, sab, kung ano-ano na lang iniisip mo. magswimming ka na nga lang," suway niya dahil lalo lang tumindi ang tibok ng puso niya.

sab's grin widened. instead of going away as she instructed, she just went beside her, and leaned on the wall also. "ang obvious kayang iniiwasan mo siya. dati kapag ganito halos hindi na kayo mapaghiwalay. pa'no hindi ka marunong lumangoy pero ang hilig-hilig mong pumunta sa dulo, lagi tuloy nakabuntot sa'yo si kuya kei." humalakhak ito. "mangiyak-ngiyak ka pa one time kasi akala mo malulunod ka na. as if hahayaan ni kuya kei 'yon!"

umirap siya, ramdam ang pamumula ng pisngi. sa kilig? sa hiya? hindi niya na alam. "eh hindi naman ako nagdudulo ngayon kaya hindi kami magkasama."

"that's what i've been saying! you're not risking going over there kasi alam mong kapag ginawa mo 'yon, pupunta rito si kuya kei." kumindat pa ang nakababatang pinsan.

"ang talino mo masyado, 'no?" sarkastiko niyang sagot.

"ako lang 'to—ay! kuya kei!"

nanlaki ang mata niya dahil sa sinabi nito. she was about to swim away but she already felt his big hand on her head.

"hindi ka pa ba aahon?"

still, she didn't look at him as she shook her head. "gusto ko pa magswimming."

before she could swim again, sab already held her arms. "don't believe her kuya! ikaw na bahala sa kaniya, akala mo ngayon lang nakaligo eh."

"kulit naman!" she whined.

"nanginginig ka na, tanga." si tsukishima iyon.

umirap siya. finally, nilingon niya na ang kaibigan at nakitang nakaumang na ang braso nito sa kaniya. hinayaan niyang hilahin siya nito paahon sa pool, pero kung nasa normal na estado siya, malamang ay hinila niya na ito sa tubig.

as she felt tsukishima's hand on her arms, she couldn't help but get angrier at herself. alam niya naman kasing wala sa mga kamag-anak niya ang nakatingin o nanghuhusga sa kanila dahil normal occurrence na lang ito. wala namang bago sa pakikitungo ni tsukishima sa kaniya, pero ito siya at nag-iinarte.

"so, what makes you stay in that pool kahit obvious na hindi mo kaya?"

nilingon niya ito nang ibalot nito ang dilaw nitong tuwalya sa kaniya. napakalapad na tao ni tsukishima kaya naman halos magdalawang balot sa kaniya ang tuwalya nito.

"na-miss ko lang magswimming."

"magkakasakit ka sa ginagawa mo. buti hindi ka dumudulo, tanga ka pa naman."

sinuntok niya ito nang marahan sa braso. "alam mo ikaw!"

tatawa-tawa nitong sinalag ang kamay niya, ang isang kamay nito ay nakaalalay sa tuwalya. "bakit? hilig mo 'yon ah, tapos naiiyak ka kasi akala mo walang tao sa gilid mo."

"wala ka kasing kwenta!" sagot niya.

kahit ga'no kabilis ang tibok ng puso niya ngayon, nagagawa niya pa ring sumabay sa biro nito. it just always came out as natural, maybe because hanggang dito na lang siya. dapat lang natural na ito sa kaniya.

naka-robe lang siya ng lumabas siya ng banyo, inaasahan na wala na si tsukishima sa kwarto, pero mali ang inaasahan niya. napalunok siya. imbis na pansinin itong nakaupo, mabilis niyang dinaklot ang damit na inihanda nito sa kama para sa kaniya.

she came out wearing a brown loose shirt, manipis ito pero tama lang para sa lamig ngayon, and her green dinosaur pajamas. nang marealize niyang suot din ni tsukishima ang kaparehong pajama, muntik na siyang hindi lumabas.

and she was right. she looked at him, longer than a friend should, wearing a white loose shirt, and his green dinosaur pajamas. si tsukishima ang bumili nito para parehas silang dalawa two years ago. suot din nito ang salamin na bigay niya.

"ba't 'di ka pa bumaba?" bungad niya habang inaayos ang pagkakasaksak ng blower.

"sabay na tayo, tinatamad ako makipagsocialize kila tito," sagot nito na ikinatawa niya.

"bakit? pinapa-shot ka na naman?"

umirap ito, binato sa kaniya ang maliit na unan. "yes."

"humihina ka na ba?" pang-aasar niya pa.

"tanga. tinatamad lang akong uminom."

humalakhak siya. muli silang nanahimik at tanging tunog lang ng aircon, at blower ang namamagitan sa kanila. hindi awkward. or so she hoped, because there's nothing to be awkward about. sanay naman na siyang nasa likod niya ito habang nag-aayos siya, minsan nga ay ito pa ang nagbblower sa kaniya.

bakit kasi nag-iba? kasalanan niya ito eh.

finally, her hair was done so she immediately put it in a bun. she grabbed her glasses from the table, before both of them went down.

"kain!" she exclaimed, jumping away from tsukishima.

iba talaga ang hagod ng inihaw tuwing swimming.

"dahan-dahan, madapa ka," suway ng tita niya. "nasaan si kei? hindi mo pa ayain?"

hindi niya nilingon ang tita na nagsalita. she simply pointed at her back as her eyes remained on the different food in front of her. kanina pa siya nagugutom!

"slow down, hoy." she felt his hand on her back, pero hindi niya ito nilingon.

"walang slow down slow down sa taong gutom."

"oh, sinong may kasalanan?" he gave her a deadpan look, while also giving her a plate with rice on it.

"oo na ako na, maya mo na ako pagalitan gutom ako," dire-diretso niyang sagot at tinanggap ang pinggan.

nang matapos siyang makakuha ng pagkain, akma siyang didiretso sa hagdan para maupo nang hatakin nito ang kamay niya. "dami pang upuan sa gilid, huwag ka humarang."

she pouted. that's when she realized he's holding her hand which was not holding the plate.

normal lang 'to. normal lang 'to.

"kinakabahan ako bukas!" she exclaimed as she delved on her food.

"bakit?" kalmado nitong tanong, busy ang kamay sa pagtulong sa paghimay ng hipon sa pinggan niya.

uminom muna siya ng tubig bago sumagot. "two days na tayo rito, hindi pa rin nanghahagis sila tito!" she shuddered at the thought. "last day na bukas, hindi naman na siguro sila manghahagis, 'no?"

"huwag ka na umasa." tumawa ito. "they were just talking about it earlier. may bago raw silang plano."

her eyes widened. it's their family's tradition to always throw people to the pool. it doesn't matter who, kung sino ang mapili ng mga tito niyang nanghahagis, kahit hindi ka marunong lumangoy, ihahagis ka. well, if you don't know how to swim, they will have someone to catch you on the pool. and even if you do, may naka-standby pa rin na tito sa gilid.

but even though it's safe, she's still nervous! lalo na iba-iba ang trip ng mga tito niya.

"what plan? may pa-gymnastics pa ba!?" she cried.

tawa nang tawa si tsukishima sa kaniya. napansin niyang hindi pa ito kumakain dahil himay nang himay ng pagkain niya kaya naman tinulak niya ang noo nito.

"kumain ka na nga! mabilaukan ka sana." she subtly moved away her plate.

delikado talaga siya kay tsukishima.

and their dinner remained like that. tinatawan ang mga nakababatang pinsan, nakikipag-asaran sa mga tito na lasing.

until silence ensued dahil nasa balcony na siya.

she silently went out of their room earlier, magkakasama sa kwarto ang magkakaedad na pinsan, kasama si tsukishima. right now, she was under the darkness of the balcony dahil hindi niya na binuksan ang ilaw. the moon was enough to capture the scenery below.

ang peaceful. especially with the stars.

however, despite the peacful environment tonight, her head was in chaos. she could feel her heart beat going faster and faster as she thought of tsukishima.

hindi naman siya nagsisising kaibigan niya ito, pero bakit sa lahat ng pwede niyang magustuhan, kaibigan niya pa?

she never had a crush before, nor someone she truly love enough to commit. 19 years, and nbsb siya by choice. pero kung mayroon mang makatitibag nito, ayos lang din. alam niya naman sa sariling ready na siya.

she just didn't expect that her first feelings would involve her bestfriend.

"tila... tala," she murmured. "sa kalangitan..." she wasn't even singing the song, simply saying it as if wishing.

bakit kasi ikaw pa, kei?

"malabo... malabo..."

"alin?"

"ay malabo!" she immediately cupped her mouth when she realized her voice got loud. nilingon niya ang may kasalanan, kasabay ng paglagay nito ng makapal na jacket sa balikat niya.

"anong malabo?" muling tanong ni tsukishima, nakasuot na rin ito ng jacket.

umirap siya. "mata ko, malabo," sagot niya. isinandal niya ang sarili paharap sa railings, kabaliktaran ni tsukishima na likod ang isinandal pero ang mata ay nasa kaniya.

"why are you here? wala ka pang jacket."

"pumasok ka na lang kung pagagalitan mo ako—aray!" hinawakan niya ang noong pinitik nito. "inaano kita?" mangiyak-ngiyak niyang tanong.

tsukishima only chuckled, keeping his hands in the pockets of his jacket.

ginaya niya ito at tumingala muli. she couldn't help but notice how the moon seemed to be brighter now than earlier, so were the stars.

"kei, may tanong ako."

she saw him glanced at her, no, fixating his eyes on her. at wala siyang kakayahan para gantihan ang tingin nito.

"go on."

"what does it feel to be in a committed relationship?" she started. bumibilis ang tibok ng puso niya, handa nang masaktan sa mga example nito.

but imagine her suprise when she saw him shrugged. "i haven't done commitments yet."

"huh?" she looked at him. "what do you mean eh last girlfriend mo nga six months ago? tapos three months before that may boyfriend ka naman? halos recently ka lang nabakante huy."

once again, pinitik ni tsukishima ang noo niya. "they're not commitments. ever heard of flings?"

"oh."

"yes, oh." inilapat ni tsukishima ang daliri sa noo niya, at bahagya itong hinagod bago nagpatuloy, "those were all mutual decisions, by the way. pare-parehong landian, o gusto ng experience."

"i didn't... think of that." she chuckled. "but do you think one day you'll commit?"

"of course... i'm just waiting." tsukishima's voice sounded so soft. he's only like this when he's really talking about something he's passionate about, and she couldn't help but feel jealous for the person he would be willing to commit to. "bakit ka pala nagtatanong? are you ready to commit? meron na ba?"

she bit her lower lip. she couldn't look at him, so she stared at the pool instead. "yes," she answered. hindi niya alam kung pagsisihan niya pero—bahala na. "i mean, yes i'm ready. ngayon ko lang naramdaman 'tong readiness na ganito, so tingin ko okay na."

"is that why you're quoting syd hartha earlier?"

surprised, she looked at him. pero nang makita niya ang mapang-asar nitong ngiti, muli niya itong sinuntok sa braso. "tigilan mo nga!"

natawa ito. "but really? sinong malas naman nagugustuhan mo at napa-ready ka na magcommit bigla?"

tanga ka, ikaw.

"ba't ko sasabihin?" she stuck her tongue out. "eh ikaw, anong hinihintay mo para magcommit? tamang panahon?" her laughs echoed the night.

he shook his head, smiling fondly. "siya."

"huh?" nahinto ang tawa niya.

"hinihintay ko na lang siyang maging handa."

ang ganda ng ngiti niya. nagseselos ako.

tsukishima kei what have you done to her? she has never felt like this before, everything is so foreign pero sigurado siyang nagseselos siya. sigurado siyang hinihiling niya ngayon na sana siya ang tinutukoy nito.

"what if ready na siya tapos maunahan ka? sigurado ka bang gusto ka rin niya?"

"sakit mo naman magtanong." tumawa ito, itinulak ang salamin. "sa tingin ko hindi ako mauunahan kung kikilos agad ako ngayong alam ko nang handa na siya. but if she doesn't like me back, and she has someone—ewan, shot na lang siguro."

this time, dalawa na silang tumatawa. "tama. hindi ako umiinom, pero sasamahan na lang kita."

silence ensued after that laugh. she looked at him, and this time, ang mata nito ay nananatili sa pool sa ibaba. subtly, she took a step back. she took that liberty to stare at his golden locks, being blown by the wind, his broad shoulders, his hand that's touching the railings now. she imagined it holding someone that's not her, and it hurt.

flings pa lang lumalayo na siya. panigurado, once he's committed to his someone, lalayo pa siya lalo. not literally, pero they won't be as close as this. she doesn't want to give the woman a hard time dahil babae rin siya. gets niya. masakit lang. probably once the feelings fade, babalik siya bilang kaibigan na lang talaga.

pero ngayon, siguro... siguro aamin na siya. para mabilis ang paglayo, mabilis din siyang babalik dahil mabilis siyang makaka-move on na. hindi magkakaroon nang dahilan ang someone nito para magselos sa kaniya.

ang hirap naman nito! nakaka-miss noong calculus lang ang problema niya.

her fist clenched inside the jacket. imbis na magmukmok, kinuha niya ang cellphone sa bulsa ng pajama at ilang beses na kinuhanan ng litrato ang anino nilang dalawa. nang muntik na siya mahuli, kinuhanan niya naman ang buwan na sa paningin niya ay lumalabo.

she was about to say something when tsukishima grabbed her phone from her hand. she watched as he turned it to selfie mode, and put his arms on her head, squishing her under. wala na siyang nagawa kundi mamula habang kumukuha ng litrato ang lalaki.

"parang tanga naman, 'to? walang sabi-sabi, hitsura ko ro'n."

"lagi namang ganiyan mukha mo, okay na 'yan."

"ano, mukha na namang tanga?"

"ikaw nagsabi niyan." humalakhak ito.

"ewan ko sa'yo!" huling sabi niya bago padabog na bumalik sa kwarto.

she woke up screaming as her uncles carried her from the room. the sunlight was already hitting her face habang maingat na hawak ng isang tito niya ang mga braso, at ang isa naman ay sa paa. hindi pa niya naip-process ang nangyayari sa paligid hanggang sa makarinig siya ng tawanan sa paligid.

"ayan ang huling alay! tagal mo gumising ah!" she heard one of her cousins.

she was just screaming until she felt she was being shook. pin-prepare na siyang ibato sa gitna ng swimming pool. hindi niya maidilat ang mata, pero nagsisisi siyang hindi niya man lang hinubad ang jacket kagabi! ang bigat tuloy!

"ah!" she screamed before finally feeling herself being thrown. she felt a gentle arms caught her on the pool, mukhang napaaga ang pagsalo nito dahil halos hindi niya maramdaman ang tubig sa katawan. pero nang marahan siya nitong inilubog, tinira lamang ang mukha niya sa ibabaw ng tubig, pinaghahampas niya ito.

"bwisit ka!" bago siya tumawa nang tumawa.

"napaaga eh!" tumawa rin ito. "anong gusto? anong gusto?" pang-aasar nito.

"duga ni kuya kei sinalo agad!" rinig niyang sigaw ni sab.

"kuya kei bakit ako muntik nang malunod!?" biro ng isa pa.

"ikaw," bulong niya.

"huh?"

"ikaw, gusto ko," sagot niya, nakataas ang noo. akala mo ay hindi basang-basa at bagong gising. akala mo ay hindi na halos mamatay sa kabog ng dibdib.

"what do you mean?"

"figure it out, stupid." umirap siya. itinulak niya ang dibdib nito dahil buhat pa rin siya nito. "iahon mo na 'ko, tanga. makakaagaw pa ng atensyon dito."

sinamaan siya ng tingin ni tsukishima, pero kita niya ang pamumula ng mukha nito. "mag-uusap tayo pag-ahon mo."

"mag-uusap tayo pag-ahon mo," she mocked, making faces as they went off the pool.