#do tell me if you found it weird or did you get irritated
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msbhagirathi · 8 months ago
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The Madhumati Gupta Buaji Weekly
Mugzeen Adison (Magazine Edition)
Namaste Nandkisore!
Aasaa karat hain ki, nandkisore, aap sab logan theek haai. Hum logan bhi theek haai, nandkisore. Sasi babua bhi ab theek hi haai bas pahile se tanik kamjor hui gaye, chhari ke sahare chalat haain ab. Aoor humka bataye rahe ki oo ki ee halat bhi oo Syaam ki kirpa rahi. Humra mann toh karat raha ki oo sasure ko ek ghumaai ke lagay de ki jindagi bhar phir aisan kucho karat ki jurrat naa karihe, haa.
Chalo choro babua/bitiya. Arre nandkisore ab tanik aapan baat bhi karau, ghar mein sab logan theek haai na? Tohre Amma-Bauji, tohri kauno humre jaisan Buaji hau toh oo sab theek haai na, nandkisore?
Ab kaa batyay tohka, nandkisore. Kal parso ki baat rahi, Sanka Devi aayi gayi phudakti-phudakti Laxminagar. Humka kahine lagi ki Arnav babua ke daftar mein kauno mugzeen-wugzeen ke khaatir humka kucho likhna haai. Hum kahe ki ab nandkisore humre jamane mein toh hum aoor tohre phuphaji itni chitthi likhat rahe ki bas pucho naahi. Toh oo kahi ki theek haai buaji aap chitthi likh ke humko bataay dena hum aa kar le jayenge, ab humri buddhi bhi umar ke kaaran mand pari rahi, oo ka jaaye ke baad, hum bhi bhul gaye nandkisore.
Saara kaam karke aaike baithe the, ki oo ka fone aayi gaya, humka puchi ki chhitthi likhe haai ki naahi, toh hum kahe, nandkisore, kaam mein thora byast hoyi gaye the, abhi likhat rahe.
Ab hum kaa bataay, nandkisore, humri jindagi mein kauno bataane layak khaas toh kucho haai nahi. Athaarah (18) ke the, amma-bauji ne byaah karaaye diya, tohre phuphaji un dino rail maashter kaa kaam karat rahe. Byaah ke baad humka liye eehan Delhi aayi gaye Laxminagar, ab nandkisore tabahu se hum idhar hi rahat haai.
[Buaji aur phuphaji honeymoon ke liye puri dilli ghume the. Phuphaji jab bhi kaam ke wajah se dusri jagah jaate toh wahan se buaji ko chitthi likhte the. ~Buaji ki pyaari SD ;)]
Sabahu theek chalat raha tha. Byaah ke teen saal baad, ek din khabar mili ki kauno train mein aag lag gayi haai, aoor bohut logan ki jaan gayi haai, a phir hum bhi chakkar kaat kaat kar thak gaye, nandkisore, daftar se aspataal aoor aspataal se phir daftar, phir unke daftar se ek din chhitthi aaye ki tohre phuphaji toh milat naahi toh unki penson ki raakam ab humko mila karegi, hum bohut roye oo din.
Bohut hi ache insaan the, nandkisore, hum behad prem karat the, ab kaa karaein, oo din ke baad se hum aapan nandkisore ke charno mein samarpit hoye gaye. Khair jaane do nandkisore. Ee sab toh bohut purani baat rahi.
Aye nandkisore, agar tumlogan ka kauno dikkat paresaani rahe toh humka bataayi dio, hum tohka tanik samajhaai denge, aoor baaki sab humre nandkisore ke haathon chor denge, theek haai naa? Bilkul kauno dikkat rahi toh bitiya humka aapan buaji samajh kar, eehan aaike bataai dena, mann bhi thora halka hoat jayi. Aoor hum toh waisan bhi jyaada kaam-kaaj naa kar sakat haai naa, toh pura din bas baith ke hi gujar jaat haai. Tohka chitthi likhan ke khaatir humra bhi tanik samay beet jaye.
Ab hum thehre bujurg, humse kaun baat karihe? Oo bhi chitthi likhke, nandkisore? Aajkal toh naa jaane kaa oosab bhatsup-discaard bhagwaan jaane aoor kaa-kaa aayi gaye haai, chitthi likhne ka phursat kaun ke paas rahai?
Khair choro. Humka toh aoor kuch soojh hi naahi rahat haai nandkisore, aoor kaa likhe? Chalao phir rakhte haai kuch batana hau toh likhat dena theek haai naa?
Aoor haan. Humka sunne mein aawat haai ki Sanka Devi ki kauno saheli ka aaj janam din raha? Ee baat sach haai ka, nandkisore? Janam din ki bohut bohut subhkamna tohka, nandkisore. Khub kaam karau, mehnat karau, Arnav babua aoor titaliya ke jaisan naam-paisa kamao, aoor tohka pati-parmeswar toh bohut hi bhagyawaan raha ki oo ka tohre jaisan patni milat rahi, nandkisore (byaah kee ho ki naahi, nandkisore?)
Aoor humri taraf se kauno meethaai wagerah khaa lena, tohka ghar ka pata (address) hota toh dukaan se jalebi aoor kucho dusri meethaai bhijwai dete par kauno baat naahi bitiya muskuraayete rehna. Jindagi mein rone ke bohut mauke milenge par muskuraaye ke mauke khud hi dhundne parat haai, nandkisore.
Chalao phir, ab rakhat haai. Garima ke saath mandir jaanat haai nandkisore. Namaste.
P.S. : Lol. I got this idea today like literally today and then thought of getting started but now I am kinda confused about something whether I should continue this one from buaji's POV only or I should write from all the characters' POV's. Let me know. And also ket me know ki yeh kuch samajh mein aaya bhi ki ekdum kachra kar diya hai maine. Lol :') Ok so I should have added this bit in the beginning but nvrmnd *shrugs* So I have considered double 'a' for आ sound, double 'o' for ऊ sound, double 'e' for इ sound and single 'a' is for अ sound, rest if you find any kind of confusion, please feel free to ask for help, considering this is not regular Hindi so :) Ok. Bye. God bless you.
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luveline · 2 months ago
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hi jade!! it’s currently nearly midnight for me, but, i was wondering if we could get some comfort with spencer (or hotch, whichever one is more fitting in your opinion) and his girlfriend when she’s getting burnt out (in case you couldn’t tell this is grossly self indulgent. Oops.) love you jade!!!!!
ty for requesting, love you! fem
Aaron has conducted an investigation on you in the past few weeks. He doesn’t like his findings. 
“You’re acting like me.” 
Laid on his couch with a box of chocolates on your chest, you send him a suspicious look. Jack sneaks over to take one of your favourites in a blur of brown hair and blue pyjamas. You hardly react.
“Jack, did I get those for you?” Aaron asks.
“He can have some,” you say, glaring at him. It’s not necessarily fake anger, but it’s also not real anger either. Annoyance, perhaps, of which you’ve found yourself a victim these last few weeks.
“They’re supposed to make you feel better.”
“Jack being happy makes me feel better.” 
Aaron rolls his eyes. “Alright, but when there’s none of the best ones left, don’t come crying to me.” 
“Come here. I’ve saved you the one with the walnut.” 
Aaron answers your demand. He lifts your legs and lays them across his thighs, and he only eats a chocolate every time you force it into his hand or against his cheek. The gifts he’s been giving you seem to work some in repairing whatever it is that’s getting you down. You have no answers for him —irritates you more, being asked, because you have no answer. 
As far as Aaron can tell, you’re still in love, work is fine, and Jack’s your best friend. He isn’t even doing it in the name of chocolate. Aaron reaches over to stroke Jack’s hair and Jack, apparently too old for fatherly affection, won’t let him do it, but you’re allowed to scratch your nails along the back of his neck. 
At nine, Aaron takes Jack upstairs for bed. Again, he’s too old for stories now, but not too old to get tucked in and kissed goodnight. He thinks of it as a dad win. Jack doesn't fuss. He says, “Night dad,” and “Love you,” and then “Love you more!” when Aaron pesters him. 
“Dad?”
Aaron pokes his head back through the door. “What, sweetheart?” he asks. 
Jack grins. “Can you tell Y/N I said goodnight, please?” 
“Of course I can. Love you three times, okay? Try to sleep now, otherwise you’ll be tired in the morning.” 
Jack rolls his eyes but puts his head down.
Aaron smiles about Jack, his growing boy. He’s worried about you, which has the smile surely fading. Aaron’s worried about you too, but he hasn’t felt like he could do much about it. You’re agitated, restless, tired but somehow not. You’re just drained of all your energy, no matter how much sleep you get. 
Aaron goes down the last of the stairs, following the sounds of you to the kitchen. You’re making two cups of something, Aaron can’t tell. But you’ve stopped at the sink, flaring your fingers, watching the skin tighten around your knuckles. 
“Having that headache again?” he asks softly. 
“I’m sorry for being grumpy all night.” 
“If we had to apologise for grumpiness, I would always be emphatically sorry.” He taps at your elbow until you fall into his chest. “Oh, honey,” he says, a little theatrical, but mostly genuinely sympathetic, “whatever this is, it’ll go away.” 
“Feel garbage and stupid.” 
“You are neither of those things.” 
“I need to get over it, though. I can’t just feel like this. It has to end eventually.” 
“I think by rushing it, you’re actually erasing any progress you’re making. You’re burned out, honey. It could happen to anyone, but it’s happening to you, so why don’t you just let me spoil you for a few days? Ooh, let’s play hooky.” 
“As if.”
“You should actually take a few days off if you feel like this.” Aaron hugs your forehead to his nose forcefully, which makes you giggle all weird. He loves it. “Let me call your doctor, you can get an appointment. Just a few days for emergency mental health care, mm?”
“You are asking me a very serious question but acting very non-serious,” you murmur. 
Aaron kisses your cheek. “Do you want me to be more serious?” he asks sincerely. “Serious hasn’t worked so far. I thought we’d fake it till we make it.” 
You curl your arm behind his neck to stop him from rubbing the scruff of his chin against you anymore, pulling away, meeting his eyes with warmth. “Thanks for saying ‘we’.” 
“You and me,” he says, rubbing you with his chin anyways.
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willowsnook · 2 months ago
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When Love is Left Unspoken
max verstappen x reader
she isn't you i'd be insane not to love you
request from @formulaal
Pt. 2 here
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"Alright, one more question from the chat," you said into your mic, scanning for a good one. One caught your eye, and you began reading it aloud before realizing it would reveal something from your past. “Would you choose a guy over your best friend?”
Laughing humorlessly, you looked into the camera with a tight smile. “Anyone who’s been here for a while knows how relevant that question is to my life. But my answer hasn’t changed: if you’re choosing a romantic partner over your best friend, you can get fucked. Thanks for tuning in, everyone. See you around.”
Logging off, you grabbed your water bottle and headed to the kitchen to refill it. Checking your phone, you smiled at the stats from the stream—10k of your fans tuning in tonight was a big turnout. You’d gone viral on BookTok back in 2020, and now, your book podcast had a solid following. Normally, BookTok didn’t bring huge numbers, but thanks to your former best friend, your popularity had skyrocketed. As grateful as you were, his part in your success irritated you now.
Then a notification popped up on your screen, and you rolled your eyes.
MV: Nice stream.
You: Fuck off
MV: Glad I’m still living rent-free in your head.
You: Glad you got permission to text me.
You threw your phone down on the counter, boiling inside. Nobody got under your skin like he could, especially after 20 years of knowing exactly how to do it. Growing up, it hadn’t always been this way. At 10, you’d moved with your family to the Netherlands, right next door to the Verstappens. Max quickly became your best friend, your weekends spent watching him kart. Never in your wildest dreams did you imagine things would end like this.
You met Kelly in 2018 at a race Max invited you to. Right away, you got weird vibes. She looked at Max like a toy she had to have. It was creepy, especially given the nine-year age gap. By 2019, they were dating, and she made it clear she didn’t like you, refusing to acknowledge your existence. That led to rocky times between you and Max; he always had excuses to avoid seeing you. When you were together, he seemed tense, as if being watched.
Everything fell apart in Australia 2021.
Flashback
Max invited you to the first race of the 2021 season, though you almost didn’t go. It felt obligatory, as if he invited you just because you’d never missed an opening race. You hadn’t seen him all winter, just exchanging quick holiday texts. Walking into the paddock, you felt a strange sense of finality, like this might be the last one.
Spotting Carmen outside Mercedes, you walked over and hugged her. As you stepped back, she looked worried.
“What’s up?”
She hesitated. “I thought you should know, Kelly’s been saying some nasty things about you around the paddock. No one believes her, but… I wanted you to know.”
“What is she saying?” you asked, heart sinking.
“She’s calling you pathetic, saying you’re still pining over your childhood crush and using Max to become an influencer,” she said softly, looking at you with sympathy.
“You’re joking,” you said, anger simmering. She shook her head.
“Can I be real with you?” She asked, and you nodded. “I love you and George loves you and honestly, everyone does. But I will accept not seeing you here anymore if you finally realize that Max is not being a good friend to you. And he hasn’t been for a long time.”
Eyes filling with tears, you let her words sink in. She was right, but admitting it was brutal. Maybe staying around him was just self-inflicted pain.
You found Max later, pulling him aside.
“I only have a few minutes, so make it quick,” he said, barely looking at you. Seeing him like this, you realized that the man in front of you wasn’t your best friend anymore.
“Your girlfriend’s telling people I’m a pathetic loser here to use you for fame,” you said, voice flat.
“I don’t believe that,” he mumbled, avoiding your eyes.
“Really?” you laughed bitterly. “You don’t believe that from your girlfriend—the one who’s disliked me since day one?”
“Seems like you have something to say, Y/N. Just say it,” he replied, finally looking at you.
“There was a time in my life where I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to live without you. But now I’m living it. Have the past ten years been nothing to you? All it took was an older woman to bat her eyelashes at you and that was it?”
He opened his mouth, but you cut him off.
“I’m not going to stand here and tell you that we had a good run and that I wish you the best. Fuck you. Fuck you for choosing her over me and fuck you for even letting it have to be a choice. I hate you.”
End of Flashback
That was the last time you had spoken to him. There were no texts or calls after that; his life just went on like normal while you felt like you were dying inside. You had thrown yourself into your work after that and now had over a million followers and subscribers to your podcast. You’d stayed friends with Carmen but hadn’t returned to a race since that day. You had tried to block the memory of that day from your mind, but when you were low, one thing always resurfaced in your mind. Kelly was right about you pining after your childhood crush. You had been in love with Max back then. How could you not be?
Then Carmen invited you to the Austin GP, and after much persuasion, you finally agreed. Thanks to your online following, you flew down with her, officially a Mercedes guest. Wearing Mercedes colors felt like poetic justice.
When you entered the paddock, a wave of nostalgia and sadness hit you. But it disappeared as you saw familiar faces you’d missed over the years.
"Y/N!" Alex called, arms open. Hugging him, you sighed, realizing how much you’d missed everyone. “I’m glad you’re back.”
“Me too,” you admitted before greeting Lily, who gushed over your podcast and joked about being a guest. As you laughed with her, you noticed Alex subtly trying to block your view. Looking over, you saw Max walking by. He did a double take, but you turned back to Lily, ignoring his stare.
Later, as you waited for a coffee, you overheard Checo’s wife and Fernando’s girlfriend chatting.
“I heard Max and Kelly broke up,” Melissa said.
“Oh yeah, it’s been a few months,” Carola replied, shrugging. “Apparently, he was in love with someone else the whole time.”
You smirked. So Kelly finally experienced what it felt like to be second choice.
The race came and went, and you successfully avoided Max the entire weekend. You didn’t even think about the possibility of running into him when you accepted Carmen’s invitation to go out that night. George had actually wanted to go out, so you found yourself at a little country bar that night with what seemed to be the whole grid. You felt Max’s gaze the second you walked in, and you were doing a hell of a job ignoring him. Charles was trying to talk to him, looking confused between the two of you, but you didn’t care.
Ordering another gin and tonic you felt him come up next to you and you refused to look over.
“Put hers on mine,” Max said, handing over his card. You tried to leave, but he held out an arm to stop you.
“No ‘thank you’?” he teased, eyes intense.
You glared. “You can have it, then.”
“Stop being difficult,” he said, rolling his eyes. “You look good.”
“Can’t say the same about you,” you shot back, and his expression darkened.
He sighed. “Can we talk?”
“I said everything I needed to say three years ago. Have a good night.”
This time he let you go and you made your way back to Carmen who was looking at you with a raised eyebrow.
“You okay?” She asked, and you nodded.
A little while later, you were sitting at a table talking with Charles with Max hovering close by.
“Max, come sit down,” Charles slurred, and at this point, you were too tipsy to put up a fight about it. “Max is my best friend, ya know?”
“Ah yeah?” You asked head tilting. “Those words don’t mean much coming from him.”
Charles giggled, too drunk to understand what you meant and Max clenched his jaw looking at you.
“Insult me all you want schatje, as long as you’re talking to me I’ll take it,” he said and you didn’t say anything, just stared at him trying to figure out his angle.
“Is this the girl Kelly broke up with you over?” Charles asked and Max whipped his head towards him. “You always had a thing for her, so I told Alex that was my guess.”
Max’s face fell, and you froze. Shock turned into anger as you got up and stormed out. You felt Max following and soon he was in front of you, blocking your path.
“Come on,” he urged, leading you to a nearby park.
“Max, I don’t want to talk,” you said firmly, pulling away.
“I don’t care,” he replied, frustrated. “Tell me what I need to do to fix this.”
You laughed bitterly. “Crawling back because you got dumped? It’s too late.”
“It’s not like that.”
“You made your choice three years ago. Now live with it.”
“You want to know why we broke up?”
“I don’t really give a fuck,” you replied before turning to walk away.
“She isn’t you!” He yelled. Your legs stopped moving as your mind reeled.
Whirling on him you got into his face, “You don’t get to fucking say that to me. Not after all this time. Not after what you put me through. Not after you chose her over me. I was there the whole time Max. Me! I was there! It’s not my fault you didn’t realize that till I was gone.” 
“I realized it long before then,” he said softly, and you took a couple of deep breaths, trying to calm yourself. Tears were starting to fall, and you looked everywhere but him. 
“Then why?” You whispered, voice cracking. 
“Because I wasn’t good enough for you,” he said laughing sadly to himself. “The pressure was starting to cave in back then and I didn’t want you to see that. I didn’t want to burden you.”
“You were my best friend Max,” you said exasperated. “I would have done anything for you.” 
“It’s easy to see that now,” he said. “But then you were so full of life and starting your little videos that I didn’t want to disappoint you. She understood what I was going through, but I never stopped loving you.” 
“Then why did you still push me away?” 
“I had to do that so that I could try and move on. She knew and she hated that there wasn’t anything she could do to change how I felt about you. I knew what she was saying about you in the paddock, and I knew why she was saying it.” 
His words hit you like a ton of bricks, and it felt like heartbreak all over again. “You knew and you let it happen. You are the worst person I’ve ever known Max Verstappen.”
He was crying now too and the two of you stood staring at one another not saying anything. 
“I would be insane not to love you,” he said softly and it made you cry harder. “So I will do whatever it takes for however long to make up for what I did.” 
He let you go again and you left him there, crying silently as you walked back to the hotel. So many emotions going through your mind paired with confusing feelings. 
Happiness for your 15-year-old self that has wanted to hear those words for so long. 
Sadness for your 21-year-old self reliving those memories. 
And anger at your 24-year-old self for considering letting him make it up to you. 
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pellucid-constellations · 1 year ago
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Are You Bored Yet?
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Pairing: College!Bucky x Tutor!Reader
Summary: God, you hated Bucky. Bucky probably hated you, too. Maybe. It was hard to tell when he was drunk and calling you pretty at a party you shouldn't have gone to.
Word count: 8k
Warnings: Alcohol, annoyance to lovers, a bit of angst, a scary man in a parking lot, frat!bucky c:
a/n:​​​ I am so excited to finally post something!! It only took me four months 😅 If you enjoy it please please let me know ❤️❤️
Masterlist
~~
12:59 pm.
The birchwood table nestled in the back of the library was long but otherwise empty, the only thing occupying it being your laptop and quite a few books. He wasn’t late. Yet. You weren’t going to hold onto that hope, however.
Tutoring Bucky Barnes was not what you had in mind when you volunteered for the peer assistance program at your university. It was true you were only using the club to boost your resume, but you had assumed the only people reaching out for help would be those that actually wanted it. Unfortunately, that was not the case. 
Sure, Bucky wanted help. Just not with anything that actually warranted the word. He wanted help sweet talking the cops so they wouldn't shut down his parties. He wanted help recruiting girls to show up to his parties. And—the one thing you could actually do—he wanted help passing his classes with the minimum GPA required to not get kicked out of his frat. So he could continue to throw parties. 
Everything in his life revolved around his fraternity, which made you very important to him. When he wanted you to be. 
With your apparently astounding knowledge of biology (you took notes during lectures), you became the star in Bucky’s life every Monday and Wednesday from 1:00 pm (give or take ten minutes) to 2:00 pm. He was also very attentive during the thirty minute phone calls he initiated prior to tests, and always looked happy to see you when he passed you devouring a bagel at the crack of dawn in the dining hall. 
Every situation in which you had come in contact with Bucky was isolated and purposeful (minus the bagel). You didn’t hang out or invite each other places, and you were almost positive that if you were to see him in his natural habitat, you would want to tutor him even less than you did now, and that was saying something. So you were important to Bucky during the times you were supposed to be important, and he was important to you in the sense that he was a job. 
But as your laptop blinked the numbers 1:22 pm back at your unimpressed expression, Bucky became much less important today. You took in a long, tortured breath before sending your gaze up to the ceiling, giving it another three minutes before you truly gave up on him for the day. 
One minute. 
Two minutes. 
The library really needed new ceiling tiles. 
1:25 pm and you snapped your laptop shut. Your fingers itched to send yet another complaint about this whole ordeal Natasha’s way, but you stopped yourself. She had already heard plenty about Barnes at this point, plus she always gave you a weird look every time you came stomping into the apartment, grumbling about something else he had done. 
You hated her weird looks, all raised eyebrows and stiff lips.
With your backpack heaved onto the table and your things slowly funneling in, you figured a nap was the best reward for sitting in the library for an unnecessary twenty-five minutes. Your last prickle of irritation was stifled at the prospect of a warm bed as you stood, only to find that irritation had returned to you tenfold. In the form of Bucky Barnes. 
“You going somewhere?” he seemed to taunt, his bag slung casually over one shoulder. 
Your jaw ticked. “Home.” 
His mouth turned up at one side, an expression you had learned meant he found you amusing. He never seemed to outright laugh at your annoyance, but apparently, it was hard to tamp down all of the joy he got out of it. Bucky took two long strides to meet the table you were attempting to abandon. 
“But I still got about—” he checked his watch “—thirty-three minutes? And an arsenal of questions about amino acids. Help a guy out.” 
“And I still got—” you checked the nonexistent watch on your wrist “—no patience for this today. You’re over twenty minutes late, Barnes. Use that watch to set an alarm on Wednesday and I’ll tell you everything you’ll inevitably forget about amino acids then.” 
He groaned, rounding the table to set firm hands on your shoulders as he hovered behind you. “Sit. I’ll buy you a coffee and I promise I won’t be late on Wednesday, okay? I was dealing with something before this and lost track of time.” 
“Were you dealing with another sorority girl in your bed? Who was it last week? Amber? No, Michelle?” 
“It’s a Monday, y/n. Cut me some slack.” 
“You came to me on a Wednesday with a hangover,” you deadpanned.
Bucky grimaced, the expression visible to you as he managed to guide you back into your chair. “Oat milk, right? A double?” 
You grumbled, crossing your arms over your chest as he tossed his bag by your feet and jogged over to the coffee cart just outside the library. He fumbled with his wallet when he went to pay, and you watched him point to the carton of oat milk the barista had yet to reach for. His greek letters were printed on the gray hoodie he had haphazardly thrown over his shoulders, and you held the reprimand on your tongue when you saw the matching sweatpants he donned. 
The last time he had shown up in his pajamas—late—you’d had some choice words for him. Bucky turned around with your coffee then, poking the straw through the lid and sending you a sheepish smile through the window. 
He was lucky you accepted bribes. 
~~
“Please,” the boy across from you continued to beg, a pen held loosely between pliant fingers. “Just ask her, that’s all I want. You can even come too.” 
“Oh, wow, the great frat president letting me come to his stupid toga party? How could I ever thank you enough?” 
It was Wednesday now, and Bucky was surprisingly on time to the tutoring session. You’d gotten through about half of the last bio lecture before he started asking you ridiculous questions that had nothing to do with the content. Today, he was dead set on getting your lab partner from chemistry to go to his party this weekend. 
“Okay, yeah, you could come to whatever party you want, you know? I put you on the list—but this one will be even better if you’d just do this one thing for me.” 
You finally tore your eyes from your laptop, glancing lazily at him. “And what would make this one so—wait, what list?” 
He waved you off. “The one at the door. Did it like… the second week we started this? Anyways, Wanda?” 
You let this new information settle and tried to ignore whatever implications came with being on some frat list thanks to Bucky. He had never explicitly invited you to any of his parties over the past few months and you had never asked to come. Apparently, you could have shown up whenever you wanted to and had a grand old time. 
Not that that sounded the least bit grand. 
Bucky was looking at you still, all pleading features and a soft, infuriating smile on his lips. When he wasn’t talking to random girls in the library or taking annoying phone calls in the middle of your sessions, he was sort of endearing. In a terrible, awful sense. 
You groaned, throwing yourself back against your chair in begrudging defeat. “I don’t even talk to her outside of chem. Don’t you think it’d be a little weird to invite her to a party that I’m not even going to?” 
“So come,” he answered simply, as if that was in the realm of possibilities. 
“Yeah,” you scoffed. “Sure, I’ll come to your party, Barnes.” 
“Great,” he grinned. “Vision’s gonna be so hyped.” 
You watched as he pulled his phone from his pocket and kept your lie to yourself. He wouldn’t notice that you didn’t show up on Friday, and likely wouldn’t even bring it up the following Monday. He always had such vibrant, headache-inducing stories that you were sure your absence would be nothing more than a fleeting footnote. 
“You have a toga, right?” he mumbled, face still screwed up in concentration as he continued his text. 
“Isn’t it just a sheet all twisted up?” you asked, shutting your computer. Tutoring was obviously over. 
Bucky pocketed his phone again, brows raised in amusement. “Depends on your motives for the night.” 
“And my motives wouldn’t be to… wear a toga?” 
He chuckled and huffed out your name, resting an arm along the back of the chair to his right—your chair. “Other motives. Like if you’re trying to get someone’s attention.” 
You blinked at the warmth along your back. “Oh, of course. Then I would twist up a pillowcase instead, right?”
“Something like that.” 
He smelled like coconut. Like a day at the beach but afterwards, when the sunscreen still lingered in the air but fresh clothes covered skin that had been warmed by the sun. You could usually ignore whatever expensive combination he had on his skin, but when he got close like this it was almost impossible. 
Part of you always wanted to chuck his arm away when he leaned over you, but another part of you liked that he kept it there. It was a strange part of you, the same one that relished the looks you got from sorority girls in the library and harbored a sense of pride each time he made a blatant attempt to touch you. 
You had spent fleeting moments analyzing these emotions and chalked them up to some internalized desire for validation. Nothing else. Bucky was a hot guy and everyone knew that, so having his attention—in any capacity—felt nice. Sometimes. Meaning right now it was nice that he was looking at you with his arm practically glued to your back, but next week when he showed up late with a hangover and tried to steal the jacket off your body it would be not so nice. 
The duality of man. 
It helped your partial insanity that Bucky would never actually be interested in you. You weren’t in a sorority or interested to his parent’s money, and, worst of all, you didn’t know how to maneuver a sheet into a toga. When he put his arm around you or moved your hair from your eyes as you leaned over a book, it was probably out of habit. It felt nice, but you knew reality. This was a passing phase, and by the summer you wouldn’t even speak to him anymore.
“I’ll text you more info about everything,” Bucky called, pulling you from your thoughts. “You can come early and I’ll help you with that pillowcase.” 
You froze, the book you were shoving into your bag pausing in your hands. “Uh, maybe.” 
“No, seriously, it’d be better if you came early. I was kidding about the pillowcase but if you come on time it’ll be too crazy for me to show you around.” 
“You don’t have to show me around, Bucky. I’ve been to a house party before.” 
“Y/n, are you not coming to this thing?” Bucky accused, swiping the book from your hands and softly tossing it on the table. It still made a loud thud that had a few bitter looks thrown your way. 
“Dude!” you whispered, meeting each mean gaze with your apologetic one. “Why does it matter if I come? You just wanted Wanda anyway.” 
He knocked your hand away when you went to reach for the book again, encircling your wrist with his fingers. “You just lied to me. Straight to my face. You said you’d come and now you gotta.” 
You gave his fingers an experimental tug, but he was unrelenting in his soft grip. You glared at him through your lashes, meeting his uncharacteristically stern gaze that contrasted the humor on his lips. 
“You ever hear of sarcasm?” you whispered with a half-hearted bite. 
“Unfortunately, that’s about all I hear outta you,” he smirked back. 
You rolled your eyes, finally yanking hard enough to free yourself from him. “Then you should have known I wasn’t going to come. No matter what ‘list’ you put me on.” 
“What else could you possibly have going on on a Friday night?” 
Ouch. You felt your brows furrow even though you didn’t will them to, and even worse, you felt a rash defensiveness lodge itself in your throat. You hated the heat that now prickled along the skin of your neck, and you hated even more how it extinguished all of the good warmth you had felt from him earlier. 
This was humiliation, surely—the kind that only came from feeling small. 
“You don’t have to be a dick,” you seethed, snapping up the remainder of your belongings. “Just because I don’t want to go to your stupid frat doesn't mean I have nothing to do. I don’t spend all of my time hoping to get invited to ridiculous parties.” 
Bucky shifted up in his seat, eyes blown just a fraction wider. “Whoa, I didn’t mean—hey, stop a sec, I didn’t mean it like that.” 
“Whatever, Bucky,” you droned, as a new temperature seeped into the skin of your palms and made them clammy. Any semblance of delusion you’d fallen into earlier was long gone now, but you knew to expect that. He wasn’t interested in you and you weren’t interested in him. But embarrassment wasn’t a good feeling, regardless of a multitude of reality checks. 
Bucky got up when you did, his clothes looking creased and lived in. “We still have time in our session,” he defended, arm jutting out to the table. “C’mon, I didn’t mean you don’t have friends.” 
Your glare sharpened. “Great, another insinuation.” 
Bucky sputtered out incoherent words as you continued your trek outside, resorting to grabbing your wrist again, this time with more urgency. You felt the heat in you simmer down to a dull throb as he made contact, mostly out of respect for your future self. If you made this a huge deal it would only embarrass you more. 
“Look, it doesn’t even matter, okay?” you huffed, but he just tugged you forward. It was then that you realized you were in the doorway of the library, effectively blocking it off from anyone trying to leave. Bucky pulled you close enough to his chest that you weren’t in the way anymore. His cologne was back with a vengeance, your nose just inches from his collar.  
You took a steadying breath, blinking away the remnants of shame. “It doesn’t matter, I overreacted.” 
He clicked his tongue. “I’m still apologizing. I didn’t mean any of that stuff you were talking about.” 
Of course he did. You were sure he thought it all the time. He just didn’t mean to say it out loud. 
“It’s fine,” you rushed. “I have to go, anyway. Office hours.” 
“Okay,” he nodded, soft and low, like he just remembered he was in a library. “You’ll still come this weekend, right? Even if Wanda can’t?” 
“You have some kind of girl quota you need to meet?” you pressed.
Bucky smiled, still so close to you that you could feel the small breath that accompanied the expression. “And she’s back.” 
You left without promising anything, and Bucky left feeling like you had. 
~~
Sometime between Wednesday and Friday, your detestment for frat parties had snowballed into determination. You were going to go and you were going to look like you were having so much fun it was ridiculous. Then, on Monday, when Bucky would usually poke and prod about what you’d gotten up to over the past few days, you were going to pretend that it was nothing for you. That you did that every weekend. 
Of course, you didn’t. Your weekends typically consisted of calm nights with friends or dinners near campus. You’d been to a party before, sure, but you didn’t exactly frequent those kinds of scenes. 
Bucky had continued to make it clear that you were invited. He had texted you a few times, prompting you to come and thanking you for getting Wanda to agree. The messages looked strange under the plethora of biology related questions, but that just spurred you further into action. You weren’t just a tutor with no social life, and Bucky was going to see that tonight. You couldn’t remember doing something out of pure spite before, but you figured having fun to prove a point wasn’t the worst thing. 
Wanda pulled you out of your thoughts as the Uber rounded the last dark corner and revealed an overcrowded house with too many lights on. She rambled on about some guy she couldn’t wait to see and confirmed that she would likely be spending the night. You expected as much; it hadn’t taken much convincing to get her to come. If this night resulted in anything good it was apparently the blossoming relationship between your new friend and a man you’d never met. 
Wanda continued to chat as she yanked you out of the car and past the yard littered with sparse grass. The music was loud already—the type of loud that you needed to be at least a little drunk to enjoy. And that was the plan. 
“Okay, if I start dancing on a table you pull me down. And if you start dancing on a table I support you, right?” Wanda giggled, her voice now raised as you walked past the threshold of the house. 
“Exactly,” you yelled back. A guy nodded to you as he leaned against the front door, his eyes glancing up from his phone and then returning. It seemed Bucky’s ‘list’ was a page on some guy’s notes app. How luxurious. “Let’s drink.” 
The next hour was a blur. You tried your hardest to get as drunk as possible and Wanda tried her hardest to find the British man she was enamored with. You hadn’t seen Bucky, but you figured he wasn’t looking for you too hard since you hadn’t responded to any of his texts. Not out of anger, but because you didn’t know what to say. Somehow, with alcohol warming your blood and music vibrating your skin, none of that mattered anymore. 
You: Your house is soooo dirty
Your phone jostled in your grip, people bumping into you from every side. When he didn’t answer in the thirty seconds you spent staring at the screen, you locked it and continued on with your mission. 
After a few too many shots of hard liquor, you switched to beer. Gross, but decidedly less likely to make you pass out on the staircase of this house. Because you weren’t lying in your text—it was slightly disgusting. You figured you should clarify that with Bucky. You reached for your phone once again, knocking your head against the wall in the process and giggling to yourself. You had no idea where Wanda went. 
The device was snatched from your hands just as quickly as the screen had lit up your face. 
“You ever answer this thing?” an accusing voice called out. “Or do you just insult people and put it on do not disturb?” 
The look on Bucky’s face would have made you roll your eyes in any other circumstance. Right now, however, it had a startled laugh bursting past your lips. You clutched at your stomach as the laugh grew and you found yourself tipping forward until your forehead met his chest. You felt delirious, almost silly. A hand came around to rest on the back of your neck.
“Alright, alright.” Bucky’s words rumbled against your face. “I get it, this is hilarious.” 
“Your… your face,” you breathed out, catching your breath enough to part from him. “It was all—” you mimicked the straight line of his eyebrows, voice raising in a mocking tone. “—You don’t ever answer your phone. You’re so boring, y/n, answer your phone.” 
“I didn’t call you boring. Hey—hey,” Bucky stressed, reaching for you as you leaned too far to the side, a smile still lingering on your face. “Jesus, y/n, how much did you have to drink?” 
You went to mock him again, but his fingers on your jaw stopped you. He tilted your head up and to the left, and although he was much more composed than you were, you could still smell the alcohol on his breath. You scrunched up your nose as he continued his inspection. 
“Why’re you being so uptight?” you slurred, trying and failing to push away from him. “I thought you were all like, ‘I’m Bucky and I party and get drunk and have sex with girls.’”
Bucky pulled you forward as you laughed at your impression of him, his shaking head making you blink away a bout of dizziness. You toppled over a set of stairs as he threaded his fingers through yours, and then you stumbled through a doorway and onto carpeted floors. Being pressed into an uncomfortable chair was the most jarring action, the world still spinning as you sat. 
“You’re even more mean when you're drunk,” you heard Bucky mumble. You couldn’t quite catch him as he moved around whatever room you were in. “And I don’t talk like that.” 
You let out a careless sigh and leaned back. “You soooo talk like that.” 
Something cold pressed to your hand, followed by another touch to the back of your neck. You gazed down at the water bottle being guided up to your lips and couldn’t find it in you to fight against it, despite the small spark of defiance on the tip of your tongue. After about four large swallows, Bucky was satisfied. 
He asked again how much you’d had to drink. 
You answered that you didn’t know—that it didn’t matter because he wasn’t your dad and you were having fun like you always did. He bit the inside of his cheek and didn’t say anything for the next few moments. 
And then, “Thought you weren’t gonna come tonight.” 
You hummed, rolling your head against the chair to look up at his standing form. “Of course I was going to come. I love parties. Love drinking alcohol.” 
His expression twisted into something you couldn’t recognize. “God, you’re so drunk.” 
“M’not even that drunk!” 
“You’re willingly in my room right now. You’re plastered.” 
“Maybe I want to be in your room.” 
“We both know that’s not true.” 
You chuckled breathily, closing your eyes so you wouldn’t have to see the pretty flush of Bucky’s face. “You think you know everything, don’t you? Don’t know much about me though. Or biology.” 
Bucky kneeled down to the height of the chair. “And what do I not know about you?” 
“So much.” 
“How much?” 
You bit into your lip and cracked an eye open, catching the amusement that had slipped past the strange mask of his emotions. With blissful ignorance, you heaved yourself forward on the chair, your nose a few inches from Bucky’s. His eyes didn’t waver from yours as you swayed. 
“You don’t know that I’m the most interesting person on Earth,” you boasted, fingers gripping the upholstery of your seat. 
“That right?” Bucky probed, his voice a melodic hum. 
“Yup, I’m always really busy and even though you think I’m some boring biology tutor I’m actually super cool and, like, go to raves and stuff.” 
His brow twitched but his mouth stayed soft. “I’ve never said you were boring. And I don’t think you’ve ever been to a rave.” 
You groaned loudly and flopped against the backrest of the chair. “See! I’m telling you I do all this cool stuff and I’m so drunk my fingers are buzzing and you still don’t believe me.” 
You crossed your arms with a huff, a small pout forming on your lips. In any other context, this behavior would probably embarrass you to no end. In the dim light of Bucky’s room where you felt the feeling leave your fingers and the care leave your mind, you were just disgruntled, not embarrassed. If you remembered this tomorrow the latter would surely catch up to you.
Bucky stared at you from his spot on the ground, his gaze a bit foggy and unfocused. He was clearly intoxicated, as you deduced earlier, and it made him look more wild. Mused hair and pink cheeks, he looked like he’d been having plenty of fun before he found you. It was distracting. He was distracting you from proving that you were having a blast.
“What?” you snapped, the tone a testament to the drunken fit you were throwing. 
“You’re so fucking pretty.” 
He must be really, really drunk. Despite your clouded mind, you knew that, but the words affected you just the same. Your lips parted as a new lightness both lit up and compressed your chest, and Bucky watched the movement. 
“Yeah,” you scoffed, but it was hardly a scoff. “Sure, Bucky. How much did you have to drink—” 
“I’m not lying. I’ve thought about you in my room for weeks and now you’re here and you’re so pretty. Even when you’re yelling at me.” 
“You’ve… thought about me in your room?” 
Bucky shuffled forward and you subconsciously parted your legs to allow the space for him. “I think about you everywhere.” 
This was crazy. It was certifiably insane. A voice in the back of your head—Natasha’s voice, it sounded like—was screaming at you to stop and think about the situation at hand. He was drunk, you were even more drunk, and he was far too close to you. He had ushered you in here with good intentions and had sobered you up a fraction, but things had taken a turn and this was a sensitive situation. The kind of sensitive that altered your reality and his and probably a bunch of other people’s you’d never met. 
Or it could be nothing and you were over exaggerating. 
But then Bucky’s hand was warming your thigh. You’d felt the press of it on your back and your shoulder and your head before, but it had never been on your thigh. It felt heavy there, hot. His other hand moved to touch your face and he propped himself up on one knee. His thumb brushed your cheek. Words tumbled from your mouth before you registered that you were speaking. 
“Are you going to kiss me?” 
Why would you ask that? Who asks Bucky Barnes if he’s going to kiss them? 
“Would you let me?” he responds. 
“Yes.” 
He didn’t waste any time, his mouth hot against yours. He tasted like mint and vodka and his lips moved so slowly it ached. You had expected a fervor behind his lips, but instead you got a build up, an orchestra reaching its crescendo. He was kissing you like you were important, like this wasn’t some random hookup in his bedroom at 1 o’clock in the morning, and you had to catch your breath when he parted from you. 
But he moved back in so quickly after your brief respite, and you were eager to give him more. This was crazy, insane. This was the best kiss you’d ever have and also the worst. This was months of staring at his stupid lips when he tried explaining concepts back to you, but this was also weeks of feeling small in his presence. Bucky slid his hand back to press against your hair and you didn’t feel small anymore. 
A loud thud from the hallway interrupted the silence you’d created, and Bucky pulled back, keeping his hands on you as he craned his neck around to stare at the door. He waited a beat, and then two, and then he turned back to you. The moment was gone, but he was still touching you. You weren’t sure what you wanted—if you wanted him to kiss you again or run out the door—but when he slid his hands from your body and rubbed them down his jeans, it became clear that was not what you wanted. 
A knot formed in your stomach when he met your gaze again, and you tried blinking the feeling away. It didn’t work. 
“Um,” Bucky began, his voice sounding more clear, his tone not holding the weight it had.
Your plan had backfired. Severely. This was a mess and you needed to save yourself before you ended this night even more humiliated.
You were still drunk. Pretend you were still plastered. 
You giggled airily, the sound burning your throat. “That was loud.” 
Bucky blinked at you in what you assumed was disbelief. “Probably just someone trying to find the bathroom,” he clarified.
You shrugged, nudging him back with your knee as you stood from the chair. “I’m bored now.” You took fast steps to the door, your words foreign to you. “Thanks for the water,” you all but gritted out. 
You expected him to get up. Not to run after you or proclaim his love or even say anything. But you expected him to get up. 
He didn’t, and you couldn’t understand how the knot in your stomach had moved to your throat. Or how it made tears spring to your eyes when your feet hit the sidewalk outside. Your Uber came and you couldn’t understand how you felt hot and cold at the same time. How it was freezing outside but you were sweating. 
You couldn’t understand why you were crying over a boy that so often infuriated you, or why he kissed you in his bedroom. The reasonable side of you sent gentle reminders that he was in a frat and kissing people is just what he did. All the time. But the unreasonable side of you won out tonight, and it was telling you that this felt different.
That you should be different, somehow.
~~
Bucky: You’re here???
Bucky: Where are you?
Bucky: Y/n answer your damn phone
Bucky: This place is fucking packed tonight I thought you weren’t coming 
You stared at the text messages you hadn’t read last night, the bright light of your phone burning into your retinas. You had a brutal hangover, and the memory of the disaster in Bucky’s room felt like an even bigger one. 
You’d gone through a myriad of emotions the night before, tossing around excuses and speeches in your head until you were so exhausted you let the alcohol in your system lull you to sleep. With all of that delirious thinking, you’d landed on blacking out. You were going to tell Bucky you blacked out last night and couldn’t remember a thing. He obviously wouldn’t care and would probably appreciate it. 
Saturday was slow-moving. Reruns of television shows and bags of popcorn and overthinking. Natasha was at her parent’s house in the city, so you had no one to bounce your racing thoughts off of. You certainly weren’t going to text her about it. 
When the evening finally rolled around and your attempts at distracting yourself with mind-numbing movies failed, you checked your email. You always tried not to on the weekends, but doing anything else sounded much less appealing. 
Unfortunately, you didn’t get past the first one. 
From: University Peer Assistance Program 
Dear Y/n Y/l/n, 
This is an automated message from the campus peer assistance program. We thank you for your continued devotion to the betterment of students at this school. At this time, your tutoring placement with James Barnes has ended. We will search for a new placement to fill your current hours. 
Thank you, 
University Peer Assistance 
You blinked at the email, then blinked again. The breath left your chest and the muscles on your face twitched, but you were otherwise frozen.
This was what you wanted, wasn’t it? To be free from the haughty frat boy that didn’t even listen to you when you tried to help him raise his grades. You wanted someone nice, someone that had the same goals as you and appreciated the color-coded notes you took for them. Bucky only tried to get a rise out of you. He sat too close and made fun of you and put you on lists you didn’t ask to be on. 
But he had kissed you. He had kissed you and then tutor-dumped you. 
You knew you weren’t his type, but were you really that bad? Was the kiss so terrible? 
Every inferiority complex you had developed exploded. You over-analyzed things that had already happened, things you had said. Not just at the party, but in the library, the coffee shops, the lecture halls. 
Was he really willing to risk his position in the frat just to avoid you? 
The strangle tickle of tears itched to be released from your eyes again, but you pressed it down. No, this wasn’t on you. He had kissed you. He had dragged you into his room and stumbled on pretty words. If he didn’t want you to tutor him anymore because of his stupid mistake, fine. 
His mistake. 
That word felt wrong. 
You tossed your phone on the couch with vigor. The clock above the television read out 10 pm, but that meant little to you as you slid on your shoes at the front door. You were wearing sweatpants and a jacket that was far too big on you, sadness and frustration and raw confusion propelling you down your apartment stairs. 
Ice cream would fix this. 
The only place open at this time was the gas station at the edge of campus. It wasn’t university affiliated and was usually overrun with belligerent greek life trying to buy alcohol, but the decision-making part of your brain was currently shut off. 
Ice cream, anger, probably watching tiktoks until your eyes were too heavy to keep open—those were the only things rattling in your head. 
You yanked open the gas station door after your short walk, the glass smudged and fogged from the cold night. The fluorescent lights aggravated the headache you’d been sporting all day and the floor made sticking noises with each step you took. To add insult to injury, there were only three cartons of ice cream left, and they weren’t even the good flavors. Grabbing the least offensive one, you made your way to the small line of people by the register. 
“Nice outfit.” 
Too enthralled by the disappointing ingredient list on the side of your ice cream, you had missed the tall man now looming at your shoulder. You whipped your head around with a start, taking a step back, smelling menthol and asphalt and nothing good. 
“Thanks,” you quietly replied. 
He waited until you turned back around to continue. “You go to school over here?” 
You kept your gaze forward. “Um, yeah.” 
“Nice. I graduated a few years back. Marketing.” 
“Cool,” you replied. What had compelled you to leave your phone on the couch? This night sucked. 
You found reprieve in the line moving, the employee calling you over to check out. As soon as you paid—a few dollar bills funneled out of your pocket with shaky hands—you booked it. Your ice cream burned in your palm but you didn’t care, feet carrying you out the door and into the dimly lit parking lot. You fisted your keys in your fingers; pointless, you knew, but a small comfort. 
The man’s voice returned with the chime of the bell over the gas station door. “Wait! Wait, I’m Beck. I own a business nearby.” 
You should have kept walking, but one of your fatal flaws was, apparently, people pleasing. You turned to him. He smiled at you but it made your stomach twist. 
“Oh, nice,” you responded, rocking back on your heels. 
“We should connect. Maybe go for coffee or something?” He took a step forward. You fought the urge to take one back. His beard was unkempt and he held a six pack in his white-knuckled grip. 
“Um, I don’t know. I’m pretty busy with finals coming up. Plus, I’m not really in the business field.” 
“Not for business then,” he smiled again, teeth dull in the streetlight. 
Just agree. If you agreed you could block him soon after and everything would be fine. 
You took too long to answer. He took the final step forward to arrive in your space and wrapped his fingers around your bicep. “C’mon, I’m not asking you to marry me or anything.” 
Frozen by fear, you let out a weak laugh. The pint in your hand was sticking to your skin now in a way that would be painful when you tried to let go of it later. Your breath rattled in your chest when you laughed again. 
“Sure, okay.” But he didn’t let go of your arm, instead sliding it down to the bone of your wrist. 
“What about now?” he posed. “You don’t look too busy. I can make you something at my place.” 
He was at least ten years older than you. You attempted to pull yourself from his grasp to no avail. Maybe reasoning would work. 
“My roommate's waiting for me,” you lied. “Could you let go? I sprained my wrist at the gym last week,” you lied again. 
He refused with a shake of his head. You took a panicked glance inside the gas station to your right. No one was looking. 
“Please let go of me.” 
The call of your name from the other side of the parking lot initially sent more unbearable fear down your spine. But then the owner of that voice registered in your brain, and although it had been the cause of your recent internal strife, you couldn't be more grateful to hear it. 
He said your name again, closer now and questioning. Bucky jogged up to the pair of you, saw your wrist and the man holding it hostage, and looked back up at you with confused, wild eyes. 
“You know this guy?” he asked, jutting his thumb out at Beck.
“No,” you whispered. The word was short but the syllable still trembled. 
Bucky didn’t look confused anymore. He looked pissed. “Wanna take your fucking hands off her?”
Beck was tall, but Bucky was taller. And angry. Beck released your wrist and raised his hands in a placating gesture. “Whoa, man, no need for the theatrics. I’m guessing you’re here to stock up for a party? I used to be in Sigma Nu.” 
When Bucky’s silent glare failed to dampen, Beck continued with, “We were just planning a night at my place, right?” 
His nod in your direction made your breath catch. Bucky took his piercing gaze off of Beck and softened it as it fell on you. You wanted to respond, but words were gone. They were impossible. Your ice cream was melting. 
“Yeah, I think we’re done here,” Bucky scoffed, placing his arm around your shoulder. He guided you past the wall of a man, making sure to drive his shoulder into his chest as he went. Beck went to say more, to protest or whine, but Bucky shot him such a scathing look it almost made you wither. 
The smell of coconut and spices and a hint of whisky met your nose, and it was familiar. It was safe. You fumbled with the keys in your hands as your feet guided you wherever Bucky was going, and then you fumbled even more, soft jingling disrupting the softness of footfall. God, why wouldn’t you stop shaking? 
A hand fell atop yours, crunching the keys to a halt. You stared down at them, unsteady breath hitting the tanned fingers that served as your current anchor. 
“Look at me, y/n.” 
You couldn’t. You couldn’t do anything. 
“Sweetheart, eyes up. All you gotta do.” Bucky’s voice was as soft as it was last night. That was the only reason you were able to follow his request. “There she is,” he hummed. 
He removed his arm from your shoulders and shifted in front of you, placing his hand on your cheek. You ignored that it felt the same as it had last night. You ignored that you wanted it to feel the same for him, too. 
“You okay?” he asked, tilting his neck down to better see your face. His thumb brushed under your eye. “He hurt you?” 
You shook your head, whispering no, whispering that you were fine. 
Bucky nodded to himself, eyes tracking down to your toes and then back up again. He must have mistaken your shaking for coldness because the next thing he did was guide you into the car behind him. You didn’t know it was his.
He blasted the heat the second he got in. He had shuffled you into your seat with his hands before that, smoothed your hair down and closed the door after you were settled and not shaking as hard. The heat dried out your eyes. It distracted you enough to let words form. 
“Thank you,” you said. “He wouldn’t leave me alone. I didn’t bring my phone with me. I should’ve.” 
“Of course.” 
There was a beat of silence. The relief you had felt earlier had been muddled down to an awkward pit in your stomach, and you weren’t sure if Bucky felt it too or if he was still riding a testosterone-fueled adrenaline high. 
You wanted to go home now; this was uncomfortable and you had felt Bucky’s lips on yours less than twenty-four hours ago with no closure. He obviously didn’t want to be around you. This was probably a responsibility thing for him. 
“I can… I can walk home now. The guy left. I’m just a quarter mile away and you probably have to stock up or whatever.” 
He looked at you with a pinched expression. “I’m not letting you walk home after that. You kiddin’ me?” 
“I’ll be fine, really. I walk over here all the time.” 
“You get harassed all the time too?” 
“No…” 
“Exactly. So you’re not walking home.” 
“Bucky—” 
“Look I’m not gonna kiss you again, alright? So you don’t have to turn down a ride because of that.” 
Your ice cream was soup at this point. You let it roll into your lap as you clamped your mouth shut just to open it again. Bucky ran a rough hand through his hair before dropping it on the steering wheel, clutching at it with no place to go. 
“I’m not following,” you finally relented. 
A loud sigh released from his nose. “You don’t have to worry about me kissing you again. I just want to make sure you get home safe and then I’ll leave you alone.” 
“Worry about—you’re the one trying to avoid me,” you snapped, frozen fingers pointing to your chest. “You tutor-dumped me.”
“Tutor-dumped? How do you…” he trailed off. 
“I get an email when you make a change request, Bucky.” 
He stared at you for a moment, lips parted and unmoving. He clenched his jaw a moment later, a red tint adorning his cheeks. 
“Well, you—you—look, I know you don’t like me, y/n. You’ve made that clear,” he stuttered, words getting louder as he moved his hands around with each one. “But I like you. I like when you get mad at me and when you yell at me for not listening and when you get all embarrassed when I play with your hair. And I’ve been trying to get you to come to one of my parties since we started this whole thing, but every time I talk about them you seem to like me even less. 
“If I had known insulting you would get your attention, I woulda done that week one,” he exasperated. You sat up in your seat but he continued. “I didn’t mean any of that shit you thought I did. You’re not boring. And I didn’t mean to kiss you, but you looked—well, I already told you.” 
“So you don’t want me to be your tutor anymore because you like me?” You spoke slowly, each word careful. 
“No,” he sighed, frustrated. “I can’t be around you because I kissed you and you didn’t care. Because I’ll want to kiss you all the time and you didn’t even wanna kiss me once. I know we were drunk, I get that, but I’ve wanted that for a long time and I need to move on. It’s nothing against your… tutoring skills. If that’s what you’re worried about” 
“But you talk about hooking up with other girls all the time, Bucky. To me.” 
“You ever hear of lying?”
“Why would you—” 
“You really gonna make me live out all of my failures with you?” 
You’d read so many things wrong. Taken so many things the wrong way. You figured the email earlier was the final nail in the coffin, but this was something else entirely. This was Bucky, sitting next to you in his car looking distressed and frazzled with his hair six different directions, telling you that he’s been trying to get your attention since he met you. That you weren’t small or insignificant or boring. 
It was probably a terrible idea to follow through with your next thought. You’d probably get hurt in the long run. But you did it anyway. 
“I wanted you to kiss me.” Bucky’s head whipped towards you. You bit the inside of your cheek and said, “I want you to kiss me all the time.” 
He whispered your name. It sounded like the air had left every corner of his body. But he didn’t move, and you needed to rectify that. 
“You’re infuriating,” you began. Bucky cringed, but you needed to explain as he had. “You’re like the antithesis of everything I want out of college. You don’t care about classes. You’re always late. You talk too loud in the library.” 
You took a deep breath, fiddling with the loose thread of your pants. You couldn’t make eye contact with anything but the ground. 
“But then you know my coffee order when I’ve never told it to you. You save me from losers in parking lots and make sure I’m not drunk out of my mind at your obscene party. You make me feel… you make me feel stupid sometimes. And I thought it was because you’re everything I’m not, but I really think it’s because you’re everything I told myself I should stay away from. But I don’t want to.
“I wanted you to kiss me at that party and I want you to kiss me now.” 
“Then get over here. I’m not kissing you over some bullshit center console.” 
You twisted to follow his directions, gasping as his hands clasped around your waist to tug you into his lap. It wasn’t seamless—there was laughing and your head briefly connected with the roof of the car—but Bucky’s touch was everywhere, soothing the uncertainty and fear and slight headache. 
His forehead connected with yours when you felt secure in his arms. His fingers slid down from your waist over the material of your sweatpants and when he spoke next you felt the words on your own lips.
“You’re wearing sweatpants. You get so mad when I wear sweatpants.” 
You laughed. “I get mad because it usually means you just rolled out of bed, and you’re usually. late.” 
“I got a secret,” he whispered, nudging his nose against yours. “I’m never late. And I only wear those sweatpants around you. You get cute when you’re pissed at me.” 
“Well, I’m about to be really cute—”
He kissed you. You’d have plenty of time to argue later.
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helluvapoison · 11 months ago
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Lend A Helping Hand
Lucifer, Adam, Lute, Vaggie and Husk need help preening
warnings: possible innacurate bird knowledge, heaven headcanons (also probably innacurate) illusions to sexual behavior but it’s not
[ii]
ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ
˚✧₊⁎ Lucifer ⁎⁺˳✧༚
• Lilith used help… when she was around. The thought of asking someone else, much less the act itself, scorched him with guilt
• Oh well. Lucifer did it before, Heaven had rules about it, so he can do it again! And of course he did! It doesn’t mean it’s not an excruciatingly long process he puts off as long as he can tolerate
• You walk in on him attempting to strain his arms in ways they certainly shouldn’t bend. “Need some help?”
• “Pfft, who me? No, no, no I—“ He pauses. It’s like the predicament he’s been caught in settles in slowly, his smile dropping and crimson irises widening to rival a puppy’s cuteness. “Yes.” He admits meekly
• Your fingers barely touch his feathers and Lucifer jolts. Like him, his wings are so sensative
• Don’t take it personally when he tries to back out after that, cheeks bright red from embarrassment. He has six wings and can barely tolerate your touch as is. This could take a while, he already feels bad
• After a teaspoon more of convincing and a gallon of reassurance later, Lucifer sits as still as he can (which isn’t very) while you gently break open the pin feathers
• You could tease if you wanted, make a joke to try and settle his nerves but something tells you his wings aren’t the only thing that’s sensitive
• Lucifer appreciates your assistance and tenderness more than words can describe, nothing seems like a big enough gift to reward your hard work
˚✧₊⁎ Adam ⁎⁺˳✧༚
• Usually it’s Lute that would help him (and vice versa if he feels like it) but she’s nowhere to be found. He can’t casually ask anyone else. Heaven and its inhabitants can be weird about certain shit, preening is no exception— even though everyone has wings here!
• Walking past Adam’s office, you heard a crash and a lot of swearing. “Sir, are you—?”
“Unless you’re gonna help, fuck right off!” He growls from the ground, still reaching at an awkward angle for his wings
• He’s shocked when you sit on your knees beside him and swat his hand away. “If you make this weird, I will leave.” You warn. He doesn’t dare make even a single comment
• Adam shivers when your fingers glide into his feathers. You wave it off the first time but can’t stop a laugh when it happens again
Face first into the carpet, his loud voice is muffled, “Shut! Up!”
• You take pity on him and don’t drag the process longer than necessary. Awarding yourself a final pet of his oddly soft wings, you stand up, “There. All better?”
• Rising to his feet and giving his wings an experimental stretch, he shrugs nonchalantly, “Thanks. I guess.”
• The next day, you receive a basket from Goody-2-Shoes with various snacks. The card reads, ‘Let me know when I can return the favor. Wings don’t have to be included. ~ A’
˚✧₊⁎ Lute ⁎⁺˳✧༚
• You know she needs help when she’s more irritable than usual. Snapping at everyone, even Adam, and flinching when her wings move in the slightest
• Approaching the subject with her is harder than anyone. As aforementioned it’s unspokenly taboo but that isn’t what stops her. Lute’s deep rooted issues with intimacy and needing help will make her walls thicker than ever
• “This is inappropriate,” Lute whispers.
In the dead of night she’s finally allowed you to assist but keeps fidgeting and surveying the area like someone will catch you two.
“It is not,” You roll your eyes, “Get your mind out of the gutter and be still! I’ll have you’ll feeling better in no time.”
• She seriously, seriously doubts that. Anything she can’t do herself, amongst certain divine exceptions, no one could do for her
• …But she’s letting you help (and your adept fingers are doing a better job) So either she doesn’t fully believe that, or you miraculously raised her expectations
• Lute decides the latter is acceptable– and a compliment, especially since you prove her wrong. Triple checking her wings, she can’t find a flaw or deny how wonderful they feel now.
• “This is adequate.”
You snort, “You could just say thanks?”
“How can I repay you?”
“I just told you.”
• She narrows her eyes, shocked and suspicious that you wouldn’t want anything. Lute, again, decides that your endeavor deserves an equal act of goodwill. Don’t take it for granted when she says, “No. I owe you one. One.”
˚✧₊⁎ Vaggie ⁎⁺˳✧༚
• She genuinely forgets what’s wrong with her when she needs to preen. Even with her wings folded away, the irritable pricking can be felt. She’s itching the back of her neck, hand clawing under the crew of her shirt and dipping between her shoulder blades when you ask when’s the last time she checked for pin feathers
• Vaggie’s always been independent. Up in Heaven she was a bit cocky with the fact she never needed help to reach them. Now, she felt helpless and stupid. Her arms cramped up, her hair kept getting in the way and the itching only progressed
• “Can I–?”
“No.” Her ivory eyes go wide, surprised at the fury of her own voice. Sighing and avoiding your (what she assumed was a) pitiful gaze, she apologizes. “Sorry. I don’t know why I… I used to be able to do this alone.”
Pausing at how defeated Vaggie sounds, you do your best to keep a positive, neutral tone.
“Cut yourself some slack, you haven’t done this in years. And, y’know, you don’t have to do it alone now. Not if you don’t want.”
• Smiling at the offer hanging in the air but not quite accepting, she goes about her managerial duties only to knock on your door afterwards
• Vaggie’s so grateful you can’t see how dark her face becomes as you sort through her wings. They’re not sensitive, they never were– it’s something about your fingers delicately touching her that cracks her resolve. Now she starts to understand why this was seen as an intimate act upstairs
• “Thanks for…” Still blushing, she gestures to her wings before hiding them, “Thanks.”
You try to keep up with her indifference but can’t help the smile spreading across your face.
“No problem.”
• If you think she’s not replaying the moment over and over in her head for days afterwards, you’re wrong. Vaggie’s desperately waiting for the moment to be just as useful to you
˚✧₊⁎ Husk ⁎⁺˳✧༚
• He’s hardly a fan of Angel touching him the way he does so a solid relationship is required to unlock the level of trust needed for this activity
• The first time it happens when you’re in his life, he won’t ask but also doesn’t reject the offer. Just looks extremely hesitant and uncomfortable
• Carefully, you pinch the rough layer and eye Husk from over his shoulder
• He breathes out a laugh, “Gonna take more than that to hurt me, sugar. Go on, I’ll be fine.”
• His wings might be the least sensitive… but that could also be all that alcohol in his system
• Husk hums as you work. After he gives a big, cat-like stretch and thanks you with a tip of his hat
• The simple gesture means more than you know, he’ll never forget it
~
╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ accidentally on purpose put them from most to least sensitive wings hehehe
big big big BIG thank you to @kottenox for the inspiration and letting me take this idea and run!
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puff0o0 · 6 months ago
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You had a crush on Barrage, a big one at that
It was very obvious, no matter how hard you tried to hide it. The way you snuck glances, gushed about his achievements on the field, and the way you got so nervous when he was around which seemed to be all the time as he was everywhere
Gaz and Ghost were the first to notice, given they are the two most observant in the team. Gaz kept pushing you to go for it and so did Ghost, they wanted you to happy afterall!
You didn't know exactly how to go for it since he doesn't seem to talk much and you two weren't exactly friends
Which makes your crush on him even more frustrating
Soap eventually found out about it and tried helping you out by befriending Barrage himself but that didn't really turn out well...
At least you know what his voice sounds like!
This lead to Soap getting the idea of going on a mission with him
It was the only way you could talk to him without feeling too weird afterall
But you would have to wait for the day you even get the chance to go on one with him since it's completely random :(
But Soap was willing to find a way for you
Price also found out about it (he eavesdropped on the conversation you and Soap were having) and he also wanted to help
He didn't bring it up a lot, only mentioning it when he was around and telling you to go for it. Most of the time it was the perfect opportunity but you didn't want to risk embarrassing yourself
Of course, like Ghost, he teased you a bit but nothing compared to the way Gaz was teasing you
Anytime he walked in the room, Gaz was elbowing you to look and chuckling when you averted your eyes the second you noticed him
There was even a time where Gaz called him over for 'help' in hopes that a conversation between the two of you would spark
It did not.
"You have to introduce yourself"
Price said, Gaz nodding as it's what he's he's saying this whole time
"I'm sure he won't yell at you for asking him out and I'm sure he wouldn't reject you. He'd have to be blind and brain dead to do that to someone like you"
Gaz said, trying to boost your confidence so that you would finally go and get to know him
You just stared at them, shaking your head no as you continued cleaning your gun
"Ye aren't gonna get anywhere if he doesn't know ye!"
Soap said with a grin, hoping that the conversation would inspire and push you into making a move
It did not.
All 4 of them could tell how much you really liked this guy and all 4 of them really wanted you to be happy, so they hatched up a plan in their free time
And it worked!
Somehow Ghost managed to pull some strings, getting you and Barrage on a mission together. It was an easy mission too, the ride there would be longer than the actual mission
And yet you just couldn't bring yourself to actually say something
The air felt so awkward
You didn't want to say the wrong thing and get him to dislike you
Crushes were so hard.
but then he spoke, his voice pulling you out of your thoughts
"You've been lookin' at me this whole time. Is there something you want?"
His voice held some irritation to it, which only made you more nervous
Yet you knew you had to say something back and make it good so that you could actually get to know eachother. But what could you say for that to even happen???
"..I want to get to know you"
You immediately started to feel embarrassed from your reply. It shot out quicker than you could stop it
You couldn't see his facial expressions, his mask covering it and only making you more nervous
Is he disgusted? mad? embarrassed?
Then he chuckled a bit, catching you off guard
Now you were REALLY worried
"If you wanted to ask me out you could just ask normally"
You were shocked, pinching your arm to make sure this wasn't some lucid dream
There was a moment of silence between you as you didn't know what to say and he was waiting on a reply from you
"..I want to ask you out then"
You hesitated, mentally slapping yourself for it. You barely- Well, he barely even knows you
He was probably just baiting you so he could reject you
Or at least that's what your mind thought
If only you could see how his eyes lit up behind those glasses, glad that he finally managed to strike a conversation with you
He wasn't the type to be nervous around a crush or beat around the bush
But you were different! You intimidated him with your looks and personality. He assumed you were wayy out of his league, he was sure you wouldn't even give him a second thought if he asked you out
So he ignored you the best he could so the feelings would go away
But it was not easy, not at all
He even caught himself redirecting his usual routes to match up with your schedule so he could see you more
He quickly put a stop to that
Your smile, your laugh, your eyes, your face, it was all too perfect
Everytime he saw your face he could feel his face heating up a little
A moment of silence before he spoke again, facing your direction
"Then it's a date"
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sanyu-thewitch05 · 7 months ago
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F! Yuu’s Dad in Twst Wonderland Headcanons pt. 2
Pt.1 Pt.3 Pt.4
Heartslabyul, Octavinelle, Scarabia, and Pomefiore are genuinely the only dorms that respect your dad.
Savannaclaw keeps trying to fight him with the exception of Jack, Ruggie, and Leona.
Ignihyde fears your father. Mainly because your father thinks Idia is some form of a perverted weirdo.
🦀: Yuu, that weird boy is looking at you and your cat again.
🎮: Please let me touch your cat…
🦀:….I’m going to give you five minutes to get away from us.
Meanwhile, Diasomnia, is still amused your dad tried to beat up Malleus.
The core emotions and feelings of Diasomnia towards Yuu’s dad is the following:
Malleus: Amused and now takes gaining any sort of relationship with you as a challenge
Silver: A bit wary of your dad but still gets why he’s so protective over you
Sebek: Wants to beat him up for threatening Malleus and thinks he can win
Lilia: As a father he understands and is probably going to tell Malleus not to purposefully irritate your father for his own good.
After witnessing Riddle’s overblot, your father is convinced on staying at the Isle Sage’s hotel
Or maybe trying RSA
Whatever option comes first.
In fact, he actually tried to bolt out of NRC after the Savannaclaw overblot.
🦀: Yuu! Yuu! Yuu, listen to me! These kids are not right in the head. A hyena furry boy was using magic to control people’s bodies so they fall down the stairs. For a school tournament! And the lion furry man, BY THE WAY, he is 20! He tried to turn everyone into sand!
🦐: Dad, please, they’re my friends and I give them comfort. Plus Riddle and Leona were having a mental health crisis.
🦀: These kids are serial killers or murders in the making! We should’ve ran when we found out they worshipped Disney villains!
You end up running out of NRC with your father with Grim, and by the time morning came, someone has already found you.
♥️: Yo. I heard Yuu was staying here now.
🦀: How did you find us?
♥️: Um…I had a bit of help…more like magic spell really.
Deuce, Epel, Jack, Silver, and Sebek step out from behind Ace.
🦀: *Sigh* Look, I get we teleported into your school, but we really don’t need to stay there-
🦐: Dad, can’t I attend school there until we go home? It’s perfect.
🦀: They literally don’t even have a girls bathroom for you to use.
🦐: Doesn’t matter. I can use the bathroom when no one is in there.
Then things heat up when Malleus appears.
🐉: There you are, Child of Man. I’ve been looking for you everywhere.
🦀: Let me guess, you didn’t see her inside her room when you floated by? Like you usually do when you think no one notices?
🐉: Child of Man, would you like to go to my gargoyles club meeting? It’s really only me, but together we can bring more people.
🦀: That is the worst lie for a date I’ve ever heard. Also, her name is Yuu not Child of Man. And this Man is named F/N. Besides, we still don’t know your actually name Hornyton.
The mocking of the nickname Yuu picked out for him causes him to get upset. Which inadvertently activated the fairy tale fae behavior.
🐉: You know, a name is a very important thing to give away. If I give my name to you, you must give something to me.
🦀: You realize I can just break into Crowley’s office and get your school records or just ask anyone what your name is, right?
🐉: Perhaps, your daughter might be something of equal value to give. My name for a girl with an otherworldly name. I assure you I’ll treat her well if you give her to-
Your dad punches Malleus square in the nose and KOs him.
⚡️: WAKA-SAMA!
❤️&♠️: Damn.
🗡️: I told him not to make being in a relationship with Yuu a challenge.
🍎: Nice right hook.
🐺: What good form.
Your dad shuts the door, and packs up your stuff again.
You move back into Ramshackle the next day, but this time there’s iron hanging around the doors and windows.
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hitomisuzuya · 17 days ago
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consider,, (fem) hexenzirkel!librarian reader x wanderer, reader helped set up the simulanka event to get wanderer to make some friends / have a nice time. and when he gets back to teyvat he immediately marches into the house of daena where reader feigns innocence, but mini durin recognize's reader from a statue & immediately starts bombarding her with question's about teyvat & wanderer? bonus points for established relationship + reader being a teasing little shit to wanderer but very motherly & eccentric to mini durin.
i love both of them so muchhh... cute little found family of two powerful beings and their weird cursed dragon son. (what a life LMAO)
wanderer (scaramouche) x fem!reader. fluffy fluff fluff. humor. established relationship/implied marriage.
i am really happy you guys enjoy my fluff. i couldn't stop smiling when typing this. i loved this event, which was very clearly made for scara. with how much important lore hoyo includes in these bigger limited time events, they should make them permanent playable like star rail's.
gritting his teeth, wanderer strode with a purpose. he needed to talk to you about your.. shenanigans now! on top of that, he'd missed you terribly which irritated him more.
"hey, slow down," durin said, following as close to wanderer as he could as he threw open the doors to the house of daena. "where are we going?"
"be quiet," wanderer snapped, however durin was unfazed by his temperament. he was too busy looking around at the utter wonder that is the house of daena.
immediately, wanderer zeroed in on you as soon as he saw you. he knew exactly where to find you, shelving some books in the library. "you, i wanna know what's going on. right now," he hissed as you turned to greet him the biggest smile on your face.
"scara, you are back. i missed you," it was your usual greeting, one that he generally loves and soaks up (he still does in this moment) when you put your arms around him and nuzzle against him lovingly.
he put a hand on your forehead, stopping you. however, before he could open his mouth to further interrogate you, durin gasped in recognition. "it's you," the little dragon exclaimed excitedly, flying over to you from his place hovering over wanderer's shoulder.
you put your hands on durin's cheeks, smiling in the same soft way at him as you did in the statue he was so was familiar with. "durin, i am glad to see you well, my sweetie," wanderer's eyes nearly popped out of his head seeing durin practically wag his tail like a happy dog with joy. "i am truly sorry for everything you went through," you added.
"wanderer, is she your wife? ohh, she's just as pretty as in her statue. how did you two meet? tell me every--" durin started to bombard wanderer with questions.
"not another word. will you get out of here?" wanderer swatted at durin, who flew to hide behind you. "just don't go too far," he added in a softer tone that made you smile.
"well, i am waiting," wanderer crossed his arms, glaring at you. he wanted his greeting kiss, damn it. "and you, cover your eyes," he glanced at durin, his cheeks flushing.
putting your arms around him, you kissed him. the moment your lips connected with his, he put a hand on the back of your head, lingering his lips on yours. he missed you and your kisses. "now, explain yourself," he said once he pulled away, the blush darker on his cheeks.
"there isn't much to say, scara. durin didn't need me or anyone else in simulanka. he needed you. you were the only one who could help him escape his fate," you replied, resting your head on his chest and nuzzling your cheek against it.
wanderer's vision lit up on his chest. "whatever. you could've just asked me," he grumbled, he'd do absolutely anything in this world for you.
"wanderer! wanderer! is she really your wife? this is so cool!" durin exclaimed from his place hovering next you.
"i said not another word from you," he hissed, which again unfazed durin.
you looked up at wanderer and grinned. "you like helping," you teased.
wanderer grit his teeth. "you like being the hero," you didn't think the angry blush on his cheeks could get any redder. "you like saving people," you couldn't help but further tease him. "you like being the absolute best. the greatest."
well naturally the last part. please do go on, he knows how great he is.
wanderer scoffed, pulling his hat down over his face. "you like saving people and little creatures without hesitation," the relentless teasing was just so fun. "you are gonna keep your wooden toy sword, aren't you?"
"damn it, woman!" wanderer growled.
you gasped in overdramatic horror. "scara! not in front of the baby!" you covered durin's ears.
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luc1dvisual · 23 days ago
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“you got me feelin nauseous!” - winter gf headcanons
*includes both sfw + nsfw content*
SFW:
Before the two of you started dating, she found cheesy romantic gestures annoying and couldn’t stand girls who constantly talk about their romantic relationships
Of course she thinks there is nothing wrong with being in love, just attention-grabbing public statements of love irritated her
She would despise these stereotypes yet fell in love with you the second she saw you.
You still remember her amount of stuttering
You guys disagree A LOT over really small things, like the temperature in your shared room or what to watch on TV. Bickering is apart of your love language and despite some disagreements going on for days, you wouldn’t have it any other way
Winter is not too good with her words either but her body language is more telling
It’s not just physically touching you but she would also do silent acts of service
she loves to give you kisses and likes to watch you squirm when she kisses you in sensitive places.
When your not bickering, she is pretty quiet and shy around you. Although she is a bit shy when it comes to affection or any romantic gestures really, she finds her own way to give you the love and attention you deserve
She loves to hug you and bury her small head into your chest or into the crook of your neck. She holds onto your arm and stands semi-behind you if she is nervous or she gives your arm a squeeze if your joking around
She also does this weird yet adorable thing where she bites your shoulder blade
not even hardly, just a little nibble
She looks up at you to look for you reaction, hoping you don’t react badly, almost looking up for validation
At first, you were a bit startled because she bit hardly but the more she did it, you got more used to it and the more softly she would bite
She would always try her hardest to stand next to you during photoshoots, sitting next to you during interviews or lives and even walk next to you at the airport
fans just act like it’s a cute friendship but little do they know it’s sm more..
NSFW:
I know most people headcanon winter as the top but i honestly think she would be on the bottom
Stereotypical but she def gives shorter/older short-tempered bottom to ur top (whether ur more tempered or patient)
She definitely gets flustered and goes pink when it comes to intimacy whether it’s kisses or hickeys
She definitely likes hickeys and asks for them, stumbling over her words as she does so
She tries her best to concentrate when kissing you but she is a bit less experienced than you so it’s def gonna be messy
Definitely has a biting kink when she becomes less shy. She bites wherever she can reach: shoulder, lip, cheek
Once you guys do it, she becomes obsessed and always wants to go at it. She teases you a lot as she gets more confident and who are you to refuse her?
You enjoy the little noises she makes so you do everything to overstimulate her so she can do it again and again
You love to tease her in bed, especially when your overstimulating her. You enjoy all her little reactions so you can’t help but say something about it.
She may even occasionally ride your thigh, hoping you grab her in different places too (hard enough for a mark to appear)
She may act all annnoyed with the hickeys and the bite marks at first but in the moment, she is begging for it.
She hates doing it in public so it’s almost always in the private of wherever the two of you live (which you think is worth it as she clearly enjoys herself more without the nervousness hanging over her head.)
She loves to sit on your lap whether it’s when she is riding your thigh or when your fingers are deep inside her.
She especially likes it when you wrap your arms around her waist or back to hold her close, whispering sweet nothings into your ear
She tries to top sometimes but she normally fails at it and gets dominated by you (not like either of you are complaining tho..)
note . . .
first post in awhile, swamped with school work but now I can rest and write at my own pace, I’ll do a new fic soon and I am planning to have at least one fic for each member of each group on my masterlist before I do series so I can get more people who like my content to read a series when it comes out!!
navigation: kpop masterlist, aespa masterlist
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damiansgoodgirll · 3 months ago
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DONT BREAK MY HEART PART 7 but make it smut 🥵🤭
part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six
terror twins x reader (platonic) / the judgment day x reader (platonic) / drew mcintyre x reader
likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated!!
‼️family issues, fear or abandonment, fear of loneliness, nightmares, panic attacks, mention and talk of sex (?), some hints of smut, slow burn
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don’t break my heart - part 7
you and drew took some time off from the company after what happened last time. you saw a side of finn that you never saw and it honestly scared you. from him treating you as a daughter, helping you overcome your fears and traumas to be the one who caused you more pain than ever.
you didn’t know what triggered him to get violent with you and, at this point, you didn’t even care to find out. rhea and damian understood why you weren’t going to be there with them and they couldn’t blame you. rhea was still shocked that finn raised his hands on you and she understood that you needed time to heal. they were both very concerned about you and even if rhea spoke - or more, threatened and screamed at finn - he didn’t see any wrong in what he did.
you texted a good luck message to both rhea and damian before you got comfy on your couch with drew next to you.
he huffed when he saw punk opening tonight’s raw, making you smile a little. you both watched what he had to say and you couldn’t lie that he was very good at doing promos. drew, of course, was pretty irritated and as petty as he is, he had to have the last word “can you take a video of me to post on instagram? punk needs to see his words aren’t a threat for me…” drew asked with his typical smirk on his face. you nodded, chuckling at his expression once you clicked on the camera and started recording. he turned serious, clapping at what punk said. he wanted to show who was really in charge and you couldn’t lie, this side of him always turned you on but you couldn’t let him know. you never even talked about sex so it seemed weird for you to tell him about how hot he looked while being so dominant. he posted the video and thanked you, complimenting your videographer skills “what you looking at?” he whispered, noticing you dozing off.
“oh, nothing…let’s keep watching the show, rhea told me she had some promos with jey and i’m so happy for her…” you tried to change the subject, knowing that drew’s thick accent and deep voice always made you flustered “i think jey might be good for her…”
“yeah, she deserves some happiness, just like you” he whispered, dragging you closer to his body and gently covering you with his blanket. his little gesture made you smile, as you laid your head over his shoulder, you couldn’t stop thinking about how lucky you were that you had found someone as kind and caring and as drew was.
you both got comfortable watching monday night raw while eating popcorn. you were both ready to come back after a week of being at home - your home as drew crashed in and never left - and you honestly missed the feeling of being in the ring and training with damian and rhea. you’ve been in contact this past week but you missed their company and you couldn’t wait for them to be back in town so you could visit them.
as you watched rhea’s promo getting interrupted by finn, your body tensed a little. drew felt that and he gently caressed your thigh, almost as if he wanted to let you know that he was there.
“what you mean finn caused all of this?” you whispered watching how finn confessed all of his wicked plan to rhea. he was the one who told you that everything was going to be okay at summerslam and now he confessed he was the one to lure dominik to go for liv? oh, you were so pissed. he was the reason your family fell apart and, truthfully, even though it hurt, you were lucky that finn showed his true colours before it was too late for you “he’s so dead…” you whispered loud enough that drew was able to hear you.
“yeah he’s dead but you’re not going closer to him anymore in your life…” drew was still mad about the outcome of last week. he never saw you so shaken up. he wanted to kill finn for causing you all of this pain, for bringing back bad memories and unpleasant feelings and if murder was legal, he probably would have already done it. but you were his first priority and that night he took care of you. he held you while you were falling asleep and he calmed you down after you woke up crying from a nightmare. he was there for you.
“you should have listened to what he was saying to me at summerslam” you remembered “he said how he didn’t know about dominik betraying liv, how he cared for the group…and now, he just confessed that he was the mind behind all of it? how can someone be so manipulative?” you took a deep breath, already knowing the answer.
“hey, why don’t we focus on something else?” he asked, hoping that it would distract you.
“yeah, probably better” you laughed “please, enlighten me with how you are going to destroy cm punk at bad blood” you teased him, making him smile.
you loved how happy he was to talk about his feud with punk. he couldn’t stand the older man but knowing that he had you on his side, made him feel proud.
you talked about it for hours. monday night raw already forgotten, as an other show played in the background. your head laid on his chest while he was softly stroking your back.
you felt yourself getting tired and before you could protest, you fell asleep on his muscular chest. hearing a soft laugh before you dozed off, he kissed you good night and gently carried you to your bedroom.
he got comfortable on the bed, laying you under the blanket and him laying next to you, holding you as he turned off the lights and fell asleep.
you didn’t know what time it was when you woke up. probably around 3 am. it was dark outside and there was an uncomfortable silence going on that made your heart beat faster. you got out of bed carefully, trying not to wake drew that was peacefully sleeping next to you. with nowhere to go, you decided to hide yourself in the bathroom.
another night, another nightmare.
but this time it was more graphic. it wasn’t something that happened - no - it was something that your mind was making up, something so scary that you couldn’t control your tears. you were scared of your mind and all the dark thoughts that you were experiencing.
drew - of course - felt the moment you stood up from your bed and hid yourself in the bathroom. he was used to your nightmares and everytime it was different. sometimes you would wake up screaming, crying, sometimes you wouldn’t even wake up - he would find you shaking on the bed and he would have to wake you up - and sometimes you would wake up without making a sound.
but no matter what, he always told you to wake him up in case he wouldn’t hear you and everytime you did the opposite of what he asked. always hiding or closing you in yourself.
he heard your soft sobs and he immediately knew what was going on. knocking on the locked bathroom door, he was almost begging you to let him in. slowly, unlocking the door, you were met with his worried eyes “oh love…come here” he opened his arms for you, letting you know that he was there for you “another nightmare?” he asked, already knowing the answer.
no words came from your mouth but you didn’t need to - he understood perfectly what was going on. softly walking you to the bed, he laid with you, holding you in his arms as you cried.
“i’m sorry i woke you up…” you sniffled.
“don’t apologise, baby, never apologise for this…it’s okay i promise you” leaving a soft kiss on your cheek, whispering softly in your ear as he rocked you between his arms “do you feel safe sleeping again? we can stay awake and watch tv if not” he was so patient with you and you melted everytime he showed his soft side to you.
“we should sleep…we’re coming back to raw soon and with bad blood in just a few weeks, i wanna be okay for that…i have to, for rhea and damian, for you, and mostly for me” you loved how day by day you gained some little confidence, thanks for the amount of love drew always showed you.
“okay, let’s lay down my love” without leaving you, he kept holding your body in his arms. laying your head on his chest, you fell asleep quickly to the sound of his heartbeat.
when morning hit, you and drew began your usual routine, and so it went on for days and days until you were both scheduled to come back to monday night raw.
“can’t wait to see rhea and damian again…” you whispered a little excited as you were packing your bags. drew chuckled, it was becoming less rare to see you this bubbly and he loved it.
of course rhea texted you that damian and her would be on a different flight because their timing was very chaotic and so they forgot to book flights for the event. she couldn’t wait to see you, she kept in touch with you and sometimes you trained together but you also needed more time for you, more time for you and drew, to explore your relationship.
as you texted her that you would see her at the hotel, drew carried all of your bags into his car as he was ready for the airport.
“coming!” you shouted before making sure you took everything you needed and closing the doors.
you could simplify the word airport with pure chaos. you hated flying, especially when you had to go from florida to canada. from the warmest temperature to the coldest one. nine times out of ten you would always get sick because of the drastic temperature change. but drew took care of everything. from checking in your bags to looking for your gate, from buying you some snacks to eat during the flight to give you the window seat that was initially under his name. he did everything he could to make this flight comfortable for you.
“what hotel room do you have baby?” he causally asked you.
“uhm…357, what about you?”
“209” he laughed “why do they keep putting us on different levels?”
“maybe because no one else apart from rhea and damian know that we are together” you joked.
“yeah…” he laughed but he thought for a minute. what if you went public? would it be too early for you? would it make you uncomfortable? he definitely was going to bring the topic up but not now as he saw how stressed you already were, trying to find a comfortable position in your seat.
many hours later you finally arrived. car rental waiting for drew outside the airport was nothing new. you saw him signing off some paperwork and you immediately jumped in the car, not wanting to freeze your ass more than what you were already doing. chuckling, drew got into the car and drove towards the hotel.
“we’re gonna stay here for three days baby, will you make it?” he joked, seeing how hardly you were trying to keep your hands warm.
“i’ll tell you when i start transitioning in elsa” you matched his irony, making the both of you laugh.
as usual, drew walked you to your room first and helped you with your bags.
“i’m gonna go through the script again in the meantime…i can’t believe rhea and damian forgot to book their flights” you laughed. you actually could believe it since they always did that. when you were still in the judgment day finn was the one who took care of everything but now, with you even hating the idea of flying, with rhea and damian being always too busy with their lives, it wasn’t nothing new that you booked last minute tickets.
“i’ll go rest a little bit and then i’ll hit the gym, text me when you’re done with rhea and damian, let me know if i can join you for dinner or if they’ll kill me” he joked before kissing you goodbye, heading towards his room.
you definitely weren’t expecting that rhea and damian would be so welcoming with drew. dinner went smoothly, laughing and making jokes and for the first time, after the mess with the judgment day, as you look at them, you saw a family, a real family, that was going to be there for you, no matter what.
while rhea and damian moved to reach their bedrooms, you and drew took a few steps along the hallways of the hotel, holding hands and talking about the little things.
like always, he walked you back to your room and stayed there for a few minutes. he was visibly tired, from the long day he just had but nevertheless, he took time making sure that you were okay and safe in your room.
before he left he gently pushed your body into his bigger one, circling your hips with his hands. you stood up a little taller to reach his lips - a goodnight kiss as usual - and when he bit your lips you couldn’t help but moan a little into his mouth. you definitely wasn’t expecting that. you liked it, a lot, but his strong grip on your hips and his tongue teasing your lips were making you hot and very bothered as you had no idea on how to react.
“if you ever want, tonight or tomorrow night, my room is always open for you” he whispered in your ear, sending shivers down your spine. with one last kiss he left, a cocky smile on his face while you stood there speechless.
with all that was going on with your life, you’ve never thought about that. the possibility of having sex with drew. sure, it crossed your mind but you never thought about it. and it was a serious thing. of course he wouldn’t wait for you forever, he had needs and somehow, being always so close to him, made you realise that you had needs too.
panicking, you sent a quick message to rhea and damian, asking them to come immediately to your room.
in less than five minutes they were both there, wondering what was keeping you awake.
“is everything okay hermosa?” damian asked.
“yes, no…yes and no, i don’t know i need your help” you felt like you were in your sixteens again.
“with what?” rhea interrupted sitting on your bed next to damian as you were pacing around the room.
“it’s drew…i love him, i really do and he loves me too…this past weeks really helped us a lot with coming to the conclusion that we want this to be a long term relationship” you saw rhea and damian smiling “but…there’s a thing we haven’t really talked about and i think i need your help on this…” you were embarrassed.
you remember how your mother first told you about sex, you were only nine and you felt like she traumatised you. talking about it with your friends at school always made you embarrassed. you just didn’t know what to say or what to do.
“we haven’t done…you know, that” you tried to avoid those weird terms that always made you cringe.
“oh” they both said in sync.
“it’s bad, isn’t it?” you questioned, your eyes moving from the damian to rhea.
“what? no…absolutely not, it’s not bad y/n…” rhea immediately spoke up “he loves you and he clearly wants to wait for you to be ready”
“he was here before and he kinda let me understand that he wants to do it…you know, and i want it too but i don’t have much experience, basically i never had an ex boyfriend, just some dickheads who just wanted a blowjob and i have no idea what to do!” you started pacing around the room one more time. the duo glancing between you and themselves “and i know that if i tell him that, he would probably laugh…he’s a grown man after all” defeated, you threw yourself on the bed.
“that’s nonsense…” damian spoke with his gentle yet strong tone “he loves you and no matter what you say, he will never judge you or laugh at you…if you two want to have a long relationship, you gotta talk about this…he will be patient with you and who cares if you’re inexperienced, he will show you…you have all the time in front of you to learn, you’re young” damian soft voice made you realise that everything he said was true. you needed to talk about it with drew, you wanted to talk about it with drew.
“you’re right…you’re always right” you said making him chuckle.
“hey…you do you, do what you feel comfortable to do, no one will pressure you, okay?” rhea’s loving eyes stared into your look.
“i will, i promise…thank you” you were so glad to have them by your side.
“if you need anything, we’re a couple of doors away” damian said before kissing your forehead and leaving the room, followed by rhea.
needless to say, you stayed awake all night thinking about the duo’s words. maybe, tonight after the show you will find the courage to talk with drew.
drew texted you first thing in the morning, asking you if you were riding with him to the arena. accepting his offer, you met him down in the parking lot. with his cocky smile, he greeted you with a big hug and gentle kiss.
“have you slept good?” he asked.
“yeah…” you tried to fix your eye bags with some make up and thankfully, drew didn’t notice.
the ride towards the arena was silent but comfortable. one his hand was placed upon your thigh, gently squeezing it and sometimes drawing random circles on your skin.
“are you ready for tonight?” he asked, waking you up from your thoughts.
tonight? “what…tonight?”
“yeah the show” he laughed “we’re so close to bad blood…you sure you have slept?”
“oh yeah, the show…it’s probably gonna be the same boring story…damian has a match against dom, he’s definitely gonna crush him and then the budget day will crush damian, then rhea and i have come to the rescue, making those cowards run away” you knew how it was going to happen because that was everything you’ve been doing for the past weeks. you didn’t know how to feel, knowing that you would have to face balor, you didn’t wanna see him.
and so it was as you said. you almost predicted everything, except for the part where liv would hit rhea’s injured leg and so it was just you standing in front of rhea and damian as they were both laying there, inside the ring.
finn smirked, making you feel very uncomfortable. he had that sadistic smile he had the night he hit you.
“you can’t run…you can’t hide” he smirked, laughing at you.
at this point you weren’t even sure what was going to happen. liv didn’t attack you, she was the only one that logically would have attacked you. instead finn took a few steps forward, making you back up.
he was right - nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, especially since rhea and damian were laying injured behind you and the only thing that was stopping the judgment day from hitting them was you.
with the little strength he had left, damian reached out for you and threw himself over your body, the same way he did with rhea, when he saw that finn was ready to hit you.
he promised he would have never left finn hurt you again and so he saw the moment and took the hits instead of you.
in the meantime, jey uso music echoed through the arena, making people cheering and screaming. when they saw him, the group immediately ran away. but the twin didn’t care, his priority was rhea, and you two.
as damian helped you standing up, you couldn’t control your emotions and you threw yourself into his arms, hugging him.
“are you okay?” you whispered.
“yes, are you?” he looked down into your eyes and when he saw you nodding, he held you close.
“thank you…for protecting me” your voice trembled.
“i promised you, he would never lay his hands on you ever again” his tone was serious and you could tell that this wasn’t over.
you helped him backstage as rhea was being helped by jey. medical staff immediately went to check upon the duo as you and jey waited for them to be cleared. worried for them, you couldn’t sit still and jey tried his best to calm you down. your mind kept replaying the scene where damian covered you with his body, taking the hits for you.
“…hey, they’re gonna be okay” jey kept whispering, seeing how worried you were.
twenty minutes later and they were both finally cleared. damian was okay, rhea’s leg was still injured but the doctor told her that she would be recovering before bad blood so she wasn’t that worried.
they walked out, jey talked with rhea before going to get ready for his match. you went with them and when you all entered rhea’s changing room, you saw rhea being pissed. she was pissed with liv and the judgment day. she couldn’t stand them anymore.
“i can’t wait for bad blood…i’m gonna whip her ass, i can’t stand her” rhea kept mumbling.
“i can’t believe finn had the nerve to stand in front of y/n like that! he’s dead! i can’t wait to have my hands on him at bad blood” damian was angrier than rhea. talking as if you weren’t there, you let them, knowing that they needed to let their frustration out. as they were talking, your eyes were focused on the screen in front of you. drew was next and you couldn’t help but notice how good he looked that night. the way he spoke, his thick accent making everything ten times hotter. the way his eyes tried to be mischievous but deep down you knew the truth and he was a softie. everything from the way he was looking was making you hot. rhea and damian were trying to talk with you but you were too focused on the tv that you didn’t even know what they were saying.
“y/n!” rhea screamed a little too loud, making you jump on your spot “i asked you, do you come back with us or do you wait for drew?”
“uhm…you guys go, i’m gonna wait for him…have a goodnight” you smiled before hugging them both.
your eyes never leaving the screen, you couldn’t wait for drew to come backstage. feeling the need to be in his presence, to hug him and touch him.
patiently waiting for his segment to finish, the moment he came back to his locker room, you waited for him to shower and get ready. he was quick so you gave him 10 minutes before barging into his room.
“hey darling” he smiled seeing you there “are you okay? i saw what happened there with finn…i’m so glad damian was there to protect you” he was concerned.
“yeah i’m okay, thank you” you smiled “i loved your promo”
he was surprised but not that surprised “thank you” he always knew how much you struggled with words - preferring physical action instead of words - so he was happy to hear you say that “what do you think if we go back to the hotel? eating something and then sleeping? i’m busted” you nodded, wanting to be alone with drew as much as possible.
the ride took less than expected, your eyes darting between the soft rain outside and drew’s focused face as he drove.
“my room or yours?” he asked once you got into the hotel hall.
“yours” you didn’t know where that confidence came from and he was surprised as you were but he couldn’t say no to you so you both walked towards his room.
he gave you some of his clothes so you could change and be more comfortable and once food came, you both ate talking about the show. you could tell he was excited about bad blood too. and you hoped he could take home the victory, he wanted this feud with punk to be over and he wanted it to be over at bad blood.
after you were all done, full and satisfied with the amount of food drew got, you both comfortably laid on his bed, watching whatever show the tv was playing - not that you were paying attention to it.
“i’m proud of you” he broke the silence “the way you stood up in front of the man who hurt you, in front of finn…the fans don’t know what happened but i know, and i’m so proud of you” his smile was genuine. his words making you lean more into his touch as his hand was on your back.
“thank you” you whispered “it means a lot to me…” you looked up at him and saw his look moving between your lips and your eyes. you couldn’t wait anymore as you’ve been waiting impatiently all day long to be in his arms, so you lifted your head up and softly kissed his lips. you felt him smile into the kiss, his tongue teasing you.
“i can’t get you out of my head y/n…don’t know what spell you put on me” he whispered against your lips making you chuckle.
“a witch never tells her secrets” you teased him back, making him smile.
“i just love the taste of your lips on mine, the way your body fits perfectly into my hands, the way your skin feels against mine…you’re a good witch because i never want that spell to end” he teased one more time before diving his lips back onto yours.
in a swift move, he helped you sitting on his lap, so now your hands were both teasing his hair as his bigger ones moved to hold your hips down. few kisses turned into a full make out session and his warm hands started teasing the hem of his t-shirt that you were wearing. you felt his fingers over your skin, on your back, moving over your stomach and hips. the sudden sensation of his teeth biting your lower lip made you whimper in his mouth, grinding your hips lower, you accidentally brushed over his length. feeling him growing harder and fuller, drew softly moaned over your lips.
you took a few seconds to watch at him, his eyes closed as he was taking in everything that you were willing to give him.
“drew…” your soft voice called him.
he opened his eyes, looking at you with a smile on his face “tell me love…”
how were you going to tell him? you didn’t want to ruin the moment, everything was going well, everything was romantic and you didn’t want to set the mood off.
“well…” words caught in your mouth.
he took one look at you and realised what you were going to say “we don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to, i’m happy as long as you’re comfortable” his words were genuine and you found honesty in his voice.
your heart melted “i really wanna do it, but..i’ve never uhm, done it? i mean i did but at the same time i have not and i don’t know what i’m doing…” you blurted out panicking a little, making him laugh.
“shhh, it’s okay baby…i wanna take care of you and i’ll show you everything you want, i promise” you couldn’t believe how patient he was with you and you loved him even more “but not tonight baby…when you’re ready”
“okay…” you whispered, a soft smile on your face “but i really enjoy kissing you…”
your words made him laugh as he smiled into the kiss, gently laying his lips over yours again.
you knew you were safe with him and no matter what, he was going to be there for you.
your mind was too focused on bad blood, so maybe, after the event you would have experimented something with drew.
your only fear was - what if everything goes down? what if rhea loses? what if damian loses? what if drew loses? what if the events of that night were going to change your future forever?
✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
i’m sorry it took so long but with me being sick and my mom being sick i hadn’t much to myself but now i’m back! let me know what you think and if you have ideas for the next chapter please let me know
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oneforthemunny · 10 months ago
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I heard something about angsty fics around here? Am I right? I'm not sure about the plot, but it has to be cowboy eddie!
Pretty please. Something about sweet girl keeping a secret, but a totally innocent one, just to not concern him. But he found out accidentally, and all was a misunderstanding. He talked to her really harshly, accusing her of cheating and not being trustworthy. Something like that plz plz plz
"Thanks, Gare. I think he's gonna love it." You whispered, cradling the landline to your ear. You could hear the creak of the screen door followed by Eddie's heavy boots on the wood floor, heart skipping.
"I gotta go. Thank you. Talk to you soon." You slid around the kitchen wall's corner, slipping the phone back on the hook as silently as you could, wincing at the small click of the phone settling.
"Hey, honey." You greeted, slinking towards Eddie sweetly. "You done already?"
Eddie grunted in response, stripping his socks, tossing them in the laundry room.
Irritation consumed you, though you tried to mask it. Eddie had been so moody lately. You assumed it was because of his birthday. He always got weird around his birthday, which is exactly why you were determined this year to make it a good one.
"Are you hungry? I kept your sandwich in the fridge, since you didn't come in at lunc-"
"-Who were you on the phone with?" A piercing, furrowed brow gaze met yours suddenly. Canopied by matted curls from a day's work, you could still see the deep lines on his forehead, furrowed.
"What?" You chirped, eyes wide, round in caught surprise. Shit, he'd heard you. How the hell had he heard you? You'd been so quiet, so careful, wanting to surprise him. The look of pure shock, it would be priceless.
You expected to see his lips curl in a smirk, shake his head at you, tell you something along the lines of, "c'mon, baby, can't get anything past me, y'know that".
It never came.
Instead, Eddie's eyes flashed in fury- hurt. Nostrils flaring in a deep breath he tried to swallow down, tried to keep his anger from flaring.
"Who were you on the phone with?" Eddie gritted, an eerie steadiness to his tone that had you shuddering, stomach twisting in fear.
"I-I was- I was just calling to check on my prescription." A stuttering of a lie fell from your lips, nails digging into the palms of your hands. "Just calling to see when I needed to go into town to pick it up-"
"-Y'know," Eddie huffed, standing to his full height, looming over you. "If you're gonna fuck around on me, you could have the decency not to do it in my home."
My home. The words, the tone of his voice, it sent icy waves of fear down your spine. The last time Eddie had called the home "his place" was before you moved in, since then it had been shared with the two of you. Our home, our place, ours.
"What?" Your own brows furrowed this time. "I'm not fucking with you-"
"-No, no, no." Eddie shook his head, taking a striding step towards you. "That's not what I said. I said fucking around on me." There was a beat, your face falling in hurt, his steeling in fury. "Because that's what you're doin'? Aren't you? Fucking around on me?"
"Are you out of your goddam mind?" It was your turn to scoff, angry and insulted. "Did Medusa kick you in your fucking head or something?"
"Don't!" Eddie's voice boomed, hand smacking against the doorframe, a loud echoing of a hit. You stilled, eyes wide, he'd never been this angry- not with you at least. Not at you.
"Don't you come in my fucking house, fucking around on me when I've done nothing-nothing but love you!"
"I'm not fucking around on you, Eddie! Christ, have you lost your mind?" You shouted back, taking a furious step towards him, the two of you in a stand off. "I mean, what is the matter with you? You think I-I'm cheating on you?"
"You think I'm stupid?" Eddie sneered, jaw tight. "You sneakin' around, makin' phone calls all day? Runnin' off into town? I might be a lot of things, honey, but dumb ain't one of 'em."
"You are dumb." You snapped bitterly. "Stupid, even. If you think I'm cheating on you. What the fuck is the matter with you?"
"Who is he?" Eddie's hands gripped the door frame. "Huh? I deserve to know. Who is he?"
You gawked, baffled, furious, embarrassed. Eddie thought you were cheating? Cheating? How did something so kind, so thoughtful that you were trying to do for him, backfire to this? It made you feel hurt, insulted.
"Who is he?" You scoffed. Eddie's face didn't move, expression not softening, not falling. You could feel the burn filling your chest, your nose, suffocating you.
Stomping over to your purse, you flipped it upside down, dumping the contents of it out. There, amongst the change and hair ties, you snatched the receipts you'd shoved to the bottom of your purse. Business cards, a small neon invitation, and wadded receipts from the party stores, balling them in your hand, flinging them at Eddie's face furiously.
"You want to know who I've been talking to?" You sneered, watching Eddie scan the receipts, face slowly falling as he read the item- a birthday cake written confirmation note order with the small note added, "Happy Birthday, Eddie!" in red piping. The date for next Saturday, his birthday.
"I've been on the phone with Gareth." You spat, trying to swallow the tears already brimming your waterline. "I've been sneaking around and trying to plan you a surprise party, because I wanted you to have a good birthday for once."
Eddie felt sick, a wave of nausea crashing over him, head spinning in a dizzying ache. A small invitation, "Shh! It's a secret!" in bold, funky lettering on the invitation, Gareth's address written below.
"Oh." Eddie croaked. His eyes met yours again, though this time, he wore the rounded look of shame. "I, um, I-I didn't me-"
"-You're a fucking asshole." You spat, blinking through tear stained vision, stomping up the stairs in a hurt fury, ignoring his cries and pleas that you cut off with the slamming of the bedroom door.
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fanfictionsworld · 1 year ago
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Can we plese please get a reader who's tired of Sebastian bullshit, like she's just there always facepalmed, not really attracted to him but treats him like every other boys (bitch lol). Like when he tries to charm her she just walks away with no expression, she's not even a tsundere or anything, just completely tired from the weirdness.
Okey i am so sorry for taking so long to write anything but here it is hope you will be satisfied.
Fem reader/Sebastian trying to impress but falling haha/reader is a bitch but a cool one which i love/Sebastians ego ruined hahah/
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You are very difficult to him,which he hates.
You can not be impressed with anything he does and that eats him alive.
Why is this human denying me.
Like how i am beautiful,smart,i cook,i am everything any human could possible imagine,if not better.
He is alwasy thinking how he can step up his game with you.
No matter how hard he trys you alwasy find some way to not care or notice.
You avoid him everywhere.
If you possible see him in town with Ciel,you will say hi to Ciel and not spear him a glance..
Avoid all his questions of how are you,do you need any help with anything or are you free this afternoon,etc.
You just keep walking an completely ignore him while you shop
Which in truth is very irritating for him.
If he tells you any filrtatious compliment you just ignore him and keep walking.
And when you had enough of him you just top and say, ,,You need to stop folowing me around like a lost puppy you look desprate maybe you should do something better with your free time rather then stalking like a creep that you are.
To him that was like a dagger trough his hart.
He told you that which you responded with ,,Yes like you have one damon scum".Which he found incredibly attractive and he was deeply offended by that.
Of cours you did not care,you just walked past him wishing him a good day saying that he should you use him manipulative skill on someone else rather than you because you are not an imbecile to fall for it.
Sebastian watches as you walk past him,stunned and impressed.
He knows you will not fall for him,but is he going to pass on a challenge on seducing you of course not he loves playing cat and mouse with you.
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violet-fluff · 3 months ago
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Levi x Pregnant! Reader AU
An Unexpected Gift (pt.2)
Part one
Masterlist
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“Soooo…what made you want to come in on another day off? Saving up for a vay-cay?” Hanji knudges your arm as you fold some clothes.
Your childhood friend, Hanji, owns the local thrift store in town, Hand-Me-Down Hanji’s.
Only taking in the best furniture and the most trendy clothes, Hanji’s small business continues to boom. Almost rivaling the regular retail stores.
“I’ve just had a burst of energy lately. Might as well put it to use.” You tell her, trying not to instinctively poke your stomach where your little burst of energy resides.
Hanji raises a brow. “You’re not doing drugs are you?” She throws her hands up when you side eye her. “I’m kidding! So testy lately!”
Hanji takes a granola bar out from under the desk, unwrapping it and practically eating the bar whole. “I hope people start leaving for lunch soon. I’m starving.”
Your vision tunnels in on Hanji eating. The graininess and bleak color of the granola bar makes your stomach turn. “I’m going to the bathroom.”
Hanji watches as you try not to make an obvious run for the toilet, her brows furrowing in suspicion.
Once you lock the bathroom door behind you, you kneel forward and release heavy vomit into the bowl. You heave and gag as it seems your stomach did not want to stop twisting and turning, even when there was nothing left in it.
“Please stop.” You whisper as you rub your stomach, trying to communicate your plea to your baby who has a weird distaste for granola apparently.
After a few more minutes of dry heaving, you stumble to your feet and look in the mirror to clean up.
Pale skin, watery eyes and a runny nose stare back at you. With a sigh, you flip on the faucet to rinse off your face, a small smile forming as the water cooled you down.
Happy with how you cleaned yourself up, you jump in surprise when Hanji is leaning against the wall as soon as you open the door.
“Jeeze, you could have knocked if you needed to pee.”
Hanji adjusts her glasses. “Now from my observations…I think you may be pregnant?”
Your eyes widen and you nod your head back in shock. “Pregnant? What are you talking about?”
Hanji follows you back out to the store. “Well, you don’t exactly vomit like a cute anime girl. I heard you hacking and heaving in there. Along with your sudden burst of energy, moodiness and strange food choices…I think you may have forgotten I was studying to be a doctor before I chose the simple life.”
You rub your head with irritation. “Ok, Hanji, you’re right. I’m pregnant. Congrats to me.”
“Now is this unhappiness due to you being annoyed with me, or not being happy with the pregnancy?”
Tears well up in your eyes and a frog catches your throat. “What do you think?”
Hanji’s face drops in sympathy. “How about I close up shop and we can talk?”
After giving the last customer an “I’m sorry” coupon, Hanji flips the sign to “closed” for the day.
She plops herself on the fitting room couch next to you. “Alright. So…pregnant?”
You twiddle your fingers as you look down. “Yes. About four months now.”
“Four?!” Hanji asks in shock. “I guess you have been wearing looser clothing. Well, how do you feel about this?”
You look up at her with a small smile. “Happy for the most part. I mean, I know we didn’t agree on having kids, but I want my baby.”
Hanjis face lightens up. “Ok, ok! That’s great! I’m glad you’re happy regardless of the circumstances. I bet Levi is excited as well.”
“Well,” Tears start flowing as the water works gear up, “He left.”
Hanji’s mouth flew open in disbelief, her voice stuttering as she didn’t know what to say. “Shit, Y/N, I’m sorry. How long ago did he leave?”
“When I found out. So a month ago.”
“A month?! You’ve been alone for a month?!” Hanji repeats in anger. “Some husband he is for leaving his pregnant wife.”
You shrug your shoulders. “I mean, he didn’t ask for this. He got a vasectomy so he wouldn’t have kids, so I get why he’s upset that it failed. I haven’t talked to him, but the landlord said he’s still paying the rent so he cares somewhat.”
“Do you know where he is?”
You shake your head. “No. He took some of his stuff when I was here at work, and he still hasn’t answered my calls or texts.”
Hanji sighs. “Did you want me to stay with you?”
“No, it’s ok. I’ll be fine. If I need anything you can just come over.”
After your talk with Hanji, you felt a lot better knowing someone close to you was happy about your pregnancy at least.
You take in the nice breeze as you walk home, wishing Levi were by your side so you can hold his hand and watch the sun go down.
Pregnancy causes you to lose your breath faster now, so finally making it to the door of your apartment had you ready to kick off your shoes and lay in bed.
Except when you unlock your door, you feel a hand go over your mouth.
“Walk inside. Hurry up.” The guy holding your mouth closed orders.
You quickly shuffle inside and you get thrown onto the couch.
“Stay there. Don’t make any noise.”
You cry as the masked man waves a gun at you. His partner hurrying around the apartment, grabbing anything valuable.
“Man, hurry up!” He grumbles to his partner as he watches you cry in the corner of the couch.
These burglars are quick and quiet as they rummage through your place. The one rummaging around fills his bag with who knows what of your belongings and gives the guy holding you at gun point a nod.
“What should we do with her now?”
You wave your hands as you start to sob. “Please! Please I promise I won’t say anything! I just found out I’m pregnant!”
“Man, let’s just leave her alone.”
The guy with the gun grabs your hair as you yelp in pain. “She’s going to say something!”
The other guy waves him to the door. “Dude stop. Just…knock her out or some shit.”
Your eyes widen when you see the butt of the gun fly towards your face.
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misstycloud · 6 months ago
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Love on a loop
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What the hell do you do when you can’t seem to break up, no matter what you do?
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You stared blankly at him, a hundred questions ran through your head all at once. On the inside, you were panicking. You had experinced a range of emotions in just a span of a few hours; pain, regret, sadness, anger and great confusion.
All this happened while he, you boyfriend, simply looked at you with an unsure smile. He tilted his head and asked with a slight chuckle, “Are you okay?” When you didn’t answer, he decided to return to his previous question, of which you didn’t respond to either. “Ehm, do you want one egg or two? We only have three right now, but you can have the two, since I feel bad about always eating all the eggs.” He laughed.
You finally decided to speak. Your voice wavered a bit when you inquired, “What are you doing here?”
Your boyfriend paused his happy expression, and frowned. He glanced around as if he didn’t know what to do with himself. “I live here? Or have you gotten a mysterious case of amnesia?” He joked.
“No, you don’t- not anymore.” Your emotions turned to annoyance, and it was evident in your tone how displeased you were with him.
The irritation in your tone gave away that you really were angry at him and that it was not a silly attempt to be funny. What you could be upset about, he had no clue. He searched in his mind for anything he could’ve done to land him in the dog-house, but found it empty. There was nothing he could think of that would start a fight.
Your boyfriend switched off the stove and gave you his full attention. He asked in genuine bewilderment, “Love, is everything alright? Have I done something to make you mad at me- although, considering you liked me yesterday, I frankly can’t imagine how I could’ve fucked up so fast.”
Your mouth fell open. The audacity! “What are you doing? Why are you back here? I don’t get what you’re playing at but it is not funny. I just- what??” You pointed towards the door. “Get out!” You didn’t like to shout, however, this situation demanded some force, whether it was pleasant or not.
It was evident on his face that your yelling had hurt him. That sad, hopeless expression always made you melt in the beginning of your relationship. Everytime you would fight, he would put it on full display and immediately after you’d feel bad and apologise for whatever the fight was about. He stayed quiet as he untied the apron around his waist and hung it on a chair.
“Hey….I don’t know what this is about- seriously, I don’t! But you need to tell me if somethings wrong, I can’t help fixing it otherwise.” He held his arms up in surrender and began approaching you.
“No, don’t come closer, you need to go! Get out.”
“Love, I’m gonna hug you now. Is that okay?” He continued his advance. The way he spoke to you reminded you of someone trying to soothe a frightened animal; yes, you were freaking out- because of him! He was the one acting weird.
You backed up against the wall. “I don’t want your hugs- no, don’t touch me!” You felt a shiver down your spine as the familiar embrace surrounded you.
Your attempts to pull away proved fruitless, his grip was like iron chains. There was no way you could get free. Still, your small tugs continued even after you’d exhausted all of your strength. Your boyfriend stroked you hair, undoubtedly to calm you down. It was meant to be comforting, but the only thing you felt was uneasiness.
This was crazy. You had no idea what was going on. You were absolutely certain that the two of you broke things off for good yesterday.
You’d waited for him to come home that day, which he did, all happy of course; now he was able to see you. You had decided to cook his favourite meal in preparation to soften the blow. It was unlikely it would do anything to help, but it was worth trying anyway. You recalled how his mood turned from happy to totally elated. He chuckled and asked if there was any special occasion(it was, although not in the way he wanted).
You say him down and let him eat himself half-full before you broke the news to him: you were planning on leaving him. He took it surprisingly well compared to the expected reaction. Of course, there was the crying and self-blame, but after that he seemed to accept your decision with a sniffle. He was kind enough to let you have the apartment, he insisted even as you said that there was no need to concern about it yet and you could decide later on. He packed his essentials in a bag and threw the rest of his belongings into boxes and moved out the same evening. Again, you explained he didn’t have to but he said it was fine; he wanted to be out of your hair as fast as possible.
He seemed fine. There was no yelling at you and no big storm that came. So you let him leave(to a friends place, he said) and after a couple drink, you went to bed. The day had stressed you out to the point of exhaustion.
So why was your ex back in your apartment, and why did everything look the same like before, it’s as if yesterday never happened. Because, it did…right?
“It’s alright, sweetie. You’re safe, I’m here to protect you so don’t be scared.” He let go of you just enough to look up at him. “Mind telling me what got you freaked out this morning?”
“Yes: YOU.” Sending him a furious scowl, you said, “You are what’s got me so freaked out. Mind telling me why you are back?”
His expression was mixed with dejection and confusion. “I’m sorry. I really don’t understand what you mean.”
“Don’t play fucking dumb. We broke up. You moved out. Explain why you’re here and why-“ you gestured around the apartment “- did you put up all your things again? We are over, you need to accept that and move on.”
You wouldn’t call yourself a mind reader, however, it was easy to see that your eruption shocked him and sent his mind into a downwards spiral.
He spoke with urgency. “What? Broke up? Why would we do that? I don’t-“ he looked away and inhaled deeply. “I would never leave you.” Staring into your eyes, he asked in a quivering voice, “Are you not happy with me, is that it? Please, make me understand.”
“We already had this conversation-“
“When?” He interuppted you.
“Yesterday!”
He shook his head. “I think I would remember an important conversation like this. Are you sure it wasn’t a dream?”
You gaped at him. “It wasn’t a dream- I would know if it was. It was real and it happened. You are playing me, because what? Because I told you the truth that this is not healthy? This is not what a relationship should be like.”
“How is this not a good relationship? I love you and you love me. Is anything more needed?”
Your boyfriend could seemingly not honestly comprehend your point.
You pinched the bridge of your nose. “A relationship can’t be when two partners are so dependant on each other- like we are. We need other people too, it can’t be just us forever. Like, my friends don’t even bother to invite me to stuff anymore because I’ve always had to say ‘no’ because I’m constantly doing something with you. Can’t you see, I’m spending every waking moment with you? Hell, I barely talk to my family anymore.”
“I’m fine with only being with you. I don’t care about seeing anyone else, you’re all that matter to me. I don’t need other- is it not the same for you?” You noticed the tears brimming his eyes.
Sighing, you let yourself be honest. “No. It’s not enough for me. I’m sorry, but I can’t let my entire life be ruled and centered around you.”
The air was still around you. It was quiet. While you’d previously desired him to shut up, now you found yourself willing to do anything to make him say something. Finally, he spoke.
“Oh, wow. Okay.” His attention was focused on the floor. “I-I’m sorry, Love, I had no idea you felt that way. I didn’t mean for you to- you know.”
“It’s fine. I know you didn’t mean for me to feel bad. And besides, it’s partly my fault too. I can’t put all the blame on you.”
You ex tried attempted a little laugh, it came out forced and not at all smooth like he’d imagined. “I dunno what kind of dream you had, but maybe it was a sign- for us to…move on and stuff- I’m not mad though, I want you to understand that.
“Yeah.”
“Ooof, I guess that it’s also a sign for me to move out?”
You nodded. He was obviously depressed, however, he still tried smiling for you. You supposed he didn’t want you to feel bad. Within two hours he was ready to go. He sure was a fast packer when he wanted to.
Just like in your dream, you told him he didn’t need to move out directly, and similarly, he also said it was no bother. After he went, you breathed a sigh of relief and collapsed on your (formerly shared) bed.
It went well, didn’t it? You thought.
He agreed to break up without any fight. It was good. You could relax. You closed your eyes and let sleep come to you.
What you weren’t prepared for was to be awoken by the smell of cooking. You groaned and rolled out of bed. Checking the clock you saw that it was still a little early. You followed the noise to the kitchen.
“Hey, I was just about to wake you up. Do you want one egg or two?”
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This fic didn’t really turn out exactly like I wanted to. Sorry if it seemed a little rushed at the end. Hope it’s still acceptable tho
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whatever-imagines · 4 months ago
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“Princess”
Fem! Butch! Wolverine x fem! Reader
Tags: No use of y/n; some mention of Origins, Scott and reader are low key besties; repressed EVERYONE; drinking; lemme know what I missed; the fan art and everything has got me.
Did you know Logan can be a girls name? That’s why it’s unchanged.
Rated: T
——————
“Watch it, bub.” Was the first thing she ever said to you; growled out and annoyed, wearing clothes that weren’t hers, barefoot stomping through the halls of the mansion to follow Professor Xavier to the infirmary.
You were just in the way. The stranger was already irritated by the looks of things and you were too dumbstruck on how handsome you thought she looked to get out of the way in enough time. The proximity, the raspiness of her voice, it made your breath hitched and you stared unblinkingly at her retreating form and you knew; you were fucked.
You were told by a calm Scott that her name was Logan. He had put a comforting hand on your shoulder, mistaking your sudden infatuation for fear or discomfort. Scott tells you they found her after a fight with another mutant the team had been hunting down and found her, rapidly healing and unconscious next to the corpse of the dangerous mutant they were looking for. So they brought her to the mansion, to study her and ask questions.
You hear about the fights Logan has with Scott all the time, and how she always flirts with Jean and Ororo, you see her wander the halls in the school portion of the mansion, and you always give her a wide berth. Half because, in a sense, she does intimidate you; she has a powerful mutation and fierce attitude, she could easily destroy you in any kind of fight. And the other reason you avoid her is-
“Jesus, watch it, squirt!”
“I’m so sorry!” You breath out, leaning down to gather the papers that went flying after you literally ran into Logan. They were mission reports that Scott’s been demanding to see, and in your haste to bring them to the team leader, you ran into the school’s resident loner.
You steadfastly refuse to make eye contact, focusing solely on picking up the papers that were spilled. You could feel the intense brown eyes of the other woman bearing down at you, but still you refuse to look up as you sputter apologies. you felt like you could cry from how embarrassed you were but you kept a stiff upper lip.
This is why you avoid her. For this exact reason.
You don’t have an impressive mutation, a very mild healing one that only extends to saving cuts and scraps; and you spent most of that time with your mutation healing yourself because you were so clumsy. What an embarrassment to your kind, you often think. Compared to Logan, you have no real use to the team; you don’t even go out to fight, you just help organize the paperwork and manage the little things so everyone can focus on keeping others safe and bettering themselves. You’re not nearly as impressive as the woman before you.
Once most of the papers are collected, a pair of brown cowboy boots enter your field of vision, and the clearing of a throat makes you slowly raise your gaze up to Logan, the fearsome Wolverine.
At this angle, she looked gorgeous, and curious.
“I’ve seen you around.” She drawls lazily, whatever bite she had earlier gone. “You’re Scott’s secretary.”
You wince in slight annoyance. “I’m the team’s assistant. I just-“ you gesture to the papers around you. “I handle the boring stuff. Help out when I’m needed.” Grabbing the last paper you awkwardly stand up. “Heal scraped knees and alike.”
Her large hand shoots out and grabs your shoulder to steady your wobbling self. Her hand was burning hot, and you could almost feel the callouses from years of fighting and doing god knows what through the cardigan you wore. You swore you felt your stomach literally flip at the contact.
She gave you a weird look, like she couldn’t believe you were this helpless. You quickly schooled your flustered expression and made some excuse up, how Scott would be more annoying if you put off giving him these papers any longer, and you scuttle down the hall, regretfully leaving the warm hand of Logan behind.
Scott also gave you a questioning look when you slammed the door to his room shut after all but running to where he was.
“… you okay, pal?” He asked, half bemused but you could tell by his tone he was ready to be serious if needed.
You sigh, and throw the paper files at him. He caught them easily. “I’m fine I’m just-“ you sigh again. “I’m just a mess.”
—-
The third time Logan speaks to you, it’s when you’re sneaking back into the mansion after a lukewarm date. It’s not like it was a secret, but still the only people you told were the Professor, so you could get permission to leave, and Ororo, who helped you get ready while you panicked.
You quietly meander into the kitchen, just to grab a soda in the dark, when the light suddenly gets flicked on.
“You look nice.” A raspy drawl says, surprising you so bad you slam the fridge door shut.
Your head snaps to the source of the sound, and there you see Logan, face half obscured in shadows.
“Oh!” You gasp. “Thank you…” you tamper off, half ready to explain yourself but deciding it better to keep your trap shut.
The Wolverine’s head cocks sideways before speaking again. “Any particular reason for the get up?” It felt more like a question in an interrogation.
You swallow thickly, suddenly feeling very self conscious. “I had a date.”
Finally pushing herself from the wall, Logan makes her way to where you stand. “Oh?” she inquires. there’s something in her eyes that make your stomach swoop but you couldn’t put a name to it. It almost looks like jealousy, but that wouldn’t make any sense in this situation. She just must be angry you got to leave the mansion and she’s still on probation. “Have fun with him?”
Him.
The insulation leaves a bitter taste in your mouth.
“She was quite boring actually.” You gently correct, pulling the tab off your soda can to open it. “An accountant or something. Kept telling me all the formulas she knew.” You mumble, bringing the drink to your lips and ignoring the way Logan’s eye bore into you.
“… don’t like the studious type?” She asks, tone playful but in the edge of something.
You’re sure to stew on your answer for a second, for whatever reason it feels like you should reply carefully. “I like reliable but not dull, if that makes sense.”
She digest your words, her eyes still staring, and you still ignoring the stare.
“You don’t look at me a lot.” Her sentence was quick and only added tension to the air. “Everyone stares-“ a hand grasps your shoulder and forces you to face her; her brown eyes leering at you, dry lips pressed into a thin line, the width of her nose scrunching slightly in irritation- “… except you.”
There’s a beat of silence. You can hear the fridge thrum with electricity, your heart thrum with anxiety.
“… it’s rude to stare.” Is all you can offer.
Logan snorts, amused or angry you don’t know, but her hot hand lets go of your shoulder and she heavily steps away.
“Smart-ass.” She chuckles, and disappears back into the shadow, the should have the keys she wears on her belt jingling away with her departure.
You breathe out slowly to calm your nerves, and sip your soda.
—-
It’s a party; a celebration of surviving another year at the school. Your anniversary. Scott makes it a big deal for you every year, as it’s his anniversary too, you and a handful of others.
“Xavier’s First Class Alumni” the banner proudly proclaims. You smile wistfully at it, happy to be where you are now but pushing the memory of how you got here out of your mind.
The cages, endless rows of cages. Scientists and doctors constantly doing rounds and taking samples like you were a computer giving off results instead of a person made of flesh and blood. There was a fight outside, something tremulous, but you had passed out from blood loss easily in the first few minutes of the commotion. You awoke to Scott cradling you as carrying you onto some extraordinary aircraft where a bald man awaited with a patient smile.
Scott was blinded by an impressive mask for safety then, not even he could tell you what had happened. Only a few who went on the ship stay with the professor, at the school. Many went back home to their families; but you stayed. And nobody could really recall how exactly they were all freed from Three Mile Island.
You’re leaning against a wall in the basement as the streamers hand low in the pulsing light of the party, deep bass music playing loudly enough to drown out most thought but not wake the children upstairs. You look to your left to see Scott and Jean laughing merrily with Kurt and Ororo and you smile.
The scent of musk fills your senses. You’re warm, incredibly warm, and the pressure of another weight against your right side. You quickly look to see Wolverine staring down at you, a beer bottle in her hand resting against her leg and the other arm propping herself over you against the wall.
“Enjoying the party?” She rasps, the bottle coming to her lips for a swig.
You watch carefully as the amber liquid passes into her mouth and she swallows, and you lick your bottom lip without realizing it.
She watches it though.
“It’s a fun thing for everyone.” You settle on saying.
She scoffs. “So you were one of the originals? Chuck’s first students?”
You shrug. “It was infinitely better than where I was.” Her bushy eyebrow quirked up in interest but you soldier on. “I’m very grateful to Professor Xavier for all he’s done to keep us safe.”
She rolls her eyes, a touch of a wild smile teases the corner of her mouth; Logan seems to be in an arguing mood and couldn’t get to Scott, so she settled on you.
“Safe, sure. Cooped up and all.” She bemoans.
And for the first time since you’ve encountered Logan, you’re… irritated with her. You pout and cross your arms, not unlike a child.
“Xavier’s done endless things to make everything better for us here.” You argue.
Your sudden passion seems to intrigue Logan. She straightens up more, once again reminding you of how small you exactly are compared to her. “How so, princess?” She growls out.
The tone was sardonic but you filed the nick name away to fantasize about later.
“Well, no one’s gabbed a needle into me without my consent since I got here 15 years ago, so that’s one thing.” You spit out, annoyed.
Logan’s face contorts ever so slightly, suddenly closed off but still watching you raptly.
“I haven’t had to hear direct death threats from everyone around me; I get to see future generations of mutats learn and grow-“ you gasp to continue your rant. “and be raised in a safe enviro-“
“Sorry.”
The singular word was delivered almost bashfully, if Logan could do anything bashful. She still staring down at you, hand in her pocket, next to her keys. The beer bottle taps her thigh absently.
No one was watching you, everyone wrapped up in their own bubbles and conversations. You vaguely hear the limbo song start playing.
You uncross your arms and tuck your chin down. “I’m sorry.” You usher out quickly.
“Don’t-“
“I got heated and I’m sorry.” You reiterate, a little more purpose behind your words.
Logan keeps staring at you, waiting. And your mouth just keeps moving.
“Everyone sees this day as a great day because the Professor found us, but to me it’s always gonna mark the day the experiments stopped. It means that something awful happened to me and it ended but it still happened and…” you trail off, one arm crossing your body to curl into yourself.
“… I know something about being experimented on.” Logan gravely states. “I’m sorry for pissing you off.” She amends.
You look up at her again, and nod. “Thanks.” You timidly respond.
She nods back.
Scott calls to you and you turn to look at him. He gestures for you to come over, and when you look back at Logan to say goodbye, she was already gone.
—-
Logan was gone for about a week after that. When she came back, everyone acted like she never left at all.
You still give her room; she’s complained before about the others “suffocating” her. But now she enters your space.
She sits as close to you as she can turn team meeting while you take the notes. She’s always in the halls you frequently use as short cuts. She always has to talk to Xavier right after you and you constantly bump into her as you leave his office.
And she always says the same thing.
“Hey, princess.”
It almost makes you crumble sometimes. But you straighten yourself out mentally and greet her back politely, and quickly rush away in fear you might make a fool of yourself again.
It eventually comes to head at some point. You mention to Ororo that you might try dating again. Maybe sign up for an online dating service if you could find a queer friendly one on the deep web. Sometime later that same day you get cornered by Wolverine.
She had just came back from a bike ride; hair wild and leather jacket over jean jacket over a men’s blue button down shirt over wife beater. Jeans still wet from the snow outside along the bottom, boot a darker color than normal.
“Lemme buy you a drink.” She says, so seriously and quickly you almost misunderstood her.
The proximity of her throws you off, you’re in some corridor not far from the garage. “I’m sorry?”
“Let. Me. Buy. You. A. Drink.” She reiterates, enunciating each word clearly enough you could identify the trace amount of her northern accent. Her arm glides up and once again she leans over you, her shadow casted on your form.
“… why?”
Her other hand comes up to your face and, with a gentleness you would not associate with the Wolverine, carefully holds your cheek in her palm, thumb on your bottom lip.
“I like your face. Lemme buy you a drink.” She asks again.
Your stomach swoops again, your ears burns with affection and you’re biting your cheek so hard as not to squeak in victory you taste copper in your mouth.
“Okay.”
She sags minutely, as if in relief.
“Thanks, princess.”
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urinarythreatinfection · 5 months ago
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Hello~ I was wondering if you could do a headcannon for a Crocodile x reader who has worked with him since Alabasta. As of late, after forming Crossguild, he's realizing that he has feelings for her and it pisses him off.
It's good I reread this because I almost starting writing you having feelings and it annoying him. Anyway I know headcanons are usually formatted different and worded different so I just tried to copy what i've seen. Sorry if it's weird, it's my first time. Be gentle 🥺. If i did something wrong just tell me. Also my first ask that isn't me squeee!
Crocodile the love struck (reptile) fool
Crocodile x fem reader. Crocodile isn't happy that this is an x reader because he's a control freak. 821 words.
You’re a hard worker, a competent worker, and a loyal worker. Those are facts, viable facts that could be proven in the fact that you work just as hard now as you do in Alabasta despite having less incentive to; despite having the opportunity to leave him when he was in Impel Down. It’s why he’s so in denial about these unwanted feelings at first, then angry that he has them. Things are already so hectic, he doesn’t need anything else to be out of his control.
• It started with your smile, as cliche as it is, the one you wore even though work can be anything but fun.
• He found it irritating at first, work is something to be taken seriously, but came to appreciate it.
• First because it meant you enjoyed your job well enough, something he likes since it means more loyalty.
• Now that he's formed Cross Guild, it's because it brightens his own day; and to the point where now it’s like some sort of drug.
• One where if he doesn’t get it he gets on edge, making work even duller.
• It’s embarrassing, a fully grown old man like him getting cranky because doesn’t get a smile from a pretty girl he likes. Pathetic.
• It ends up putting him in an even worse mood when he notices it.
• Another thing that annoys him is how much he likes your voice.
• You’ve even started having to repeat things to him because he was too focused on how nice it sounds and feels to hear you talk to him.
• He wouldn’t be surprised if you thought he’d gone senile at this point…
• Thankfully you don’t show it if you do feel that way.
• Something he does wish you’d show is distaste for when any of the other men talk to you.
• He knows it’s mostly good work ethic communicating with them well, it helps now that you’re allied with other people, but sometimes he wishes you’d sneer at Mihawk or scoff at Buggy rudely.
• Show that you dislike talking to them, hate talking to anyone that isn’t him.
• There are the childish thoughts again…
• He’s 46 for gods’ sake, someone who’s killed both with his own hands and from his indirect actions.
• Not some schoolboy getting fussy that his crush is talking to someone else.
• Maybe feelings like “fussy” would be better though, would be safer for you; because they’re not always so childish.
• He wants you all to himself, you’re his anyway.
• You worked with him in Alabasta, waited for him while he was in Impel down, and work with him again in Cross Guild even if the work is more taxing; and less rewarding.
• You stayed with him, so loyal for him, so it makes sense that you’re his
• He wants to shower you with things you’d like, not just to dress his pretty girl up, but to guilt you into staying with him.
• To give him more of an excuse to be protective over you than just having feelings.
• What a terrible thing to think, but he’s never been a morally correct person.
• Either way, it’s not like he could actually do anything to hurt you.
• He’s tried, you can become a serious weakness for him.
• But everytime he tries there’s always an excuse.
• “She’s too useful.” “She’s a good worker.” “l still need her for this.” “It’d be a hassle.” “She makes my work easier.” “I’ll do it once I get my power back.”
• Though those are viable reasons that stop him, they aren’t truly the core reason.
• The reason is because he loves you, and it drives him mad.
• As mad as when you smile for others, or your hands brush together, or you call his name while looking up at him with those pretty eyes he wants looking nowhere else.
• You’re so beautiful, he loves you.
• He wishes that the feelings would just go away with time, with the fatigue he gets from working days straight.
• But they don’t, and they only get stronger.
• Especially when you do things to make even the smallest things easier.
• Making sure his cigar drawer is always full, bringing him water, telling him the time when he loses track of it.
• When he notices you telling him the time while looking sleepy yourself, he almost grabs you to pull you into his lap.
• Hold you, cage you into his arms and give you a kiss with all the emotion he’s been building up.
• But he can’t lose control, so he doesn’t.
• He just sends you off with a “Thanks, get some sleep yourself before you pass out on the job.”
• Once you turn, you can’t see the way his eyes follow you with a warmth he didn’t even know he had.
• And once the door is closed behind you, you don’t see the way he puts his head in his hand with a “Fuck.”
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